#i turn everything into spn

[autisticandroids]

CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.

[youtube with closed captions]

a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.

[sammygender]

so many people can’t conceptualise emotional neglect as anything other than ‘my parents were cold and distant and never talked about feelings with me’, and this, while being just a general awful problem of course, is also what leads to so much john winchester mischaracterisation. in this essay i will

[batcavescolony]

S4 E3 Supernatural

Now THIS is a good episode. Castiel took Dean back in time to 1973! We find out Sam and Dean's maternal grandparents, Samuel and Deanna Campbell, and Mary are hunters. On top of that, Azazel is playing match maker so he can have his little psychic children be the best of the best, and he made a deal with Mary to revive John after he killed him. Also as if Azazel hasn't killed enough of Sam & Dean's family they killed Samuel and Deanna too. Oh this is so interesting, then Castiel taking Dean back, saying destiny can't be changed but Sam is going down a dark path and either Dean stops him or angels do.

[quietwingsinthesky]

God I wish I had something coherent to say about hunger as one of spn’s core themes but unfortunately my brain just loops back around to “Sam should have eaten more weird supernatural things to see if they also gave him powers.” (Like maybe Lucifer’s blood idk idk)

[katabay]

Do you have specific fiction authors that you like to read? What aspects of a story make you want to really dig your fingers in it? Is it horror?

I’ve got a couple! Keigo Higashino for sure. anything Naoki Urasawa does: I will be reading it. Priest (Guardian and Mo Du are all time favorites). also KJ Charles and Andrew A Smith!

ngl I don’t really have a concrete list of favorite fiction writers, I spent several days thinking about this one: like, I have favorite books for sure, but I don’t often find myself considering an author to be a favorite just because their book blew my mind. I’ve only read three of Andrew A Smith’s works, but he’s here because he gave an interview years that changed my entire approach to storytelling, and I still revisit it whenever I start editing a story.

honestly the big thing is that I like character!! I like compelling characters (extremely varied definition of compelling, it doesn’t have to be much, but it does have to have something) I like it when something goes full throttle into whatever it wants to be. I’ll watch a slow paced slice of life romance with the same amount of enthusiasm that I had for Devil Judge, and the 1vs10 beat down in Ipman takes up just as much space in my brain as the ‘let’s not see each other from now on,’ breakup in the Heirs (but for extremely different reasons lmao)

however. if I have to pick something more thematically specific: I like seeing people in power get what they have coming to them, I like explorations and confrontations of political and social injustices. kingdom is one of my favorite shows, and the horror is great, but it was the political-class-power aspect of it that solidified it as a memorable watch to me. kamen rider build did something fundamental to the circuitry of my brain. etc.

[vivitalks]

i'm thinking john winchester thoughts tonight is it obvious

[crowcryptid]

The default advice for people trying to get into IT is to get certifications and make a homelab but this if your resume gets seen by a human and it’s seen by the IT manager and not some hr rep or recruiter

TLDR: getting an entry level IT job is impossible and advice online is just get one more certification bro just one more just one more and you will get that $16 an hour job also please spend $300 setting up a server to store movies and control the rgb lights in your room I guess. (To be fair this can be done for “free” if you have an old laptop or enough parts to build something. The price is if you want it in a little box that sits next to the tv)

Anyway I do not see the point of having a homelab other than doing it for experience

IoT devices? Absolutely not. Nothing that isn’t a phone, console, tv, or pc should ever have an internet connection. And the tv is pushing it tbh. Why can your fridge receive updates? What’s wrong with you.

File storage? Ok yes but this only makes sense if you’re a data hoarder or some kind of content creator. If you don’t have a tiny ass pc, most cases will allow for at least 2 hdds.

Media server? I mean. This one is just me personally, I don’t watch movies or tv. The few times I do I just stream it for free.

What’s left? Virtual machines? How many do you actually need? I have a single Linux vm that I use for some class work/learning. It’s not running all the time.

[soullessjack]

it’s rlly interesting to me that so many villains try to manipulate jack by saying that they’re just trying to control him or that they taught him to fear his powers and that he’s only kept in the bunker as a prison to protect the world basically , and pretty much every time he either ignores it & doesn’t respond . but he also doesn’t outwardly disagree (Duma asked if they’d taught him to fear his powers and he fucking shrugs ) and on one hand

> it’s crazy how often the writers will try and hint at their dynamic being kind of fucked up or question if it’s still on a “you only care about what he can do for you” basis — like when jacks own psychotic hallucination insisted that he was only ever their pet monster weapon muscle whose only value came from being useful — only to never go anywhere with it, never have jack actually take that question into consideration

but on the other if we’re assuming that jack is like wordlessly agreeing that he is in fact being contained and controlled and isolated from the world as a safety precaution by the people he explicitly views as both his fathers and his friends? and that he’s supposedly just okay with all of that ?? because he knows that he’s legitimately dangerous? what am I supposed to do with this? what were the writers trying to do with it??? why didn’t they actually do something with it?

[persefoneshalott]

One of Dean's most frustrating trait for me is that he's against immortality and has these idea of what's 'natural' 'what's dead should be dead' etc (sam excluded ofc) This is why while he'll go and sacrifice himself to save Sam he'd never be like 'oh hey if we do this spell, dead Sam can come back and live in my brain and both our spirits can live in the same body' or some freaky shit like that, if he ever ran into something like that and thought it was the only option to save Sam he'd just book it out of his own body so that Sam can have it. whereas Sam would be like fuck yeah this is a great first step before I find a better way to get him back and as we know from canon would be willing to have innocent people die so Dean can stay alive

[skylilac]

how much of spn have you seen

almost on the seventh season and i. already read the wiki pages.

[sennik]

takes a deep breath not to be possessed by my teenage self, but having rewatched a couple of sp/n s1 episodes, i truly understand why i used to be obsessed with this show.

[sammygender]

but tbh even when i was a deangirl like 90% of deans appeal was that undercurrent of resentment and damage he has. how hes so damaged by his childhood but so unwilling to begin to heal because it would mean rejecting every brick he's built himself from - hes modelled himself on john, or how he imagined john to be (bc i actually truly think dean is and becomes way more macho and posturing than john ever was! and theres something to be said of how all his imitations of john are aesthetic, his jacket and his music and the beer he drinks, and how john was gone so Often, how we never see him in the flashback episodes save once (ofc doylist explanation is bc they didnt want to get the actor but).... the absence of a father ruling their life more than a father...).

and obviously that is going to lead to someone who cant Get Better or Break The Cycle cause he wed himself to it when he was 4 and has grown entwined with it and how is he meant to Really confront that? sure he can say 'my father was an obsessed bastard' or hurtle insults that sam's like john as a way to get under sam's skin and realise that he has #daddyissues but he'll always return back to the steady belief that john still tried his best and was still fundamentally good. like. family is hell. and dean's whole thing is and has always been the family.

[dyed-red]

DOUBLE TIME TRAVEL FICS? we readers are truly getting spoiled.

Haha yeah. I've been chipping away at mine in the background here since probably like... Late 2019? Or early 2020. I sort of thought I'd just leave it as a "forever in the drafts folder" because it's uh, it's something, and tbh I've never been sure if others will like it at all or if it's one or those pieces that's really just for me.

buuuut I keep returning to it every few months for the last 3 years I guess, and it's grown both on the page and in my head so much and I have so many fresh pieces for it that I'm excited to draft, so I'm talking about it more. It's still self-indulgently "for me" in that it's a miserable plot-heavy slog with a deeply messed up and traumatized version of Sam and all sorts of messy interactions with his fam. And flashbacks. Because I'm a sucker for a flashback and love writing them (or otherwise interrupting the flow of linear time in a story).

But anyway!

Roni @applecrumbledore has also been an inspiration and has cheered me on a bit, which has helped :) it means I may get around to actually finishing this fic (it's over 50k words already but I'm expecting it to tap out over 80) and posting for the niche audience who might enjoy.

[septembersghost]

my favorite thing about @arthurwilde saying this to me is, i think we talk about, at the very least *mention*, dean to each other daily, and i've reblogged/made posts about him every single day of this blog's existence (and probably safe to say every day of my original two blogs' existences, which stretches back to...2011? and before that his consistent presence on my lj going back to september 2005...the derangement is eternal, it's in my veins, it is a singular constant in my heart, it's, these hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me, it's, something always brings me back to you! it never takes too long!, gravity), AND YET, she fundamentally understands, even without me pointing it out, the difference in tone and distance and connection that has happened at certain aching points in the past year, and has had to listen to so much love and silliness, and to me cry and agonize and rage and pull myself back from the cliffside, so the unspoken warmth and tender closeness that would ordinarily only matter and be noticeable to me is shining clearly to her. the way that love is, as another beloved mutual said, a tangible thing. deangirl vibes unparalleled. like no other.

[quietwingsinthesky]

look at me. I’m so normal about the line “in the role of Michael Corleone, the archangel Raphael.”

[scottstiles]

i think what really gets me about the idea of babygod jack is like.. you have no real choice but to love your kids. (i wouldnt actually know but. lets not go there).

my point is loving god like a father isn’t as good because love for a parent is unreliable and unstable and likely to have conditions even if it’s only the most extreme kind

whereas love for ones child is usually absolute. irrational even. its just either there fully and wholly or its not at all (again. extreme conditions). so from the perspective of loyalty as it can be encompassed in love and devotion as it manifests in total unconditional connection i just think that.

it works better. tastes better. feels . dare i say.. organic