#i try to explain that i think money is bad and shouldn’t exist

[granma-sweetie]

arguing with my grandma about politics and money

[a-spes]

| PRETTY FACES, DARK SOULS - part two (4.070 words).

| Summary - you rob the wrong person, and she makes sure that you pay your debts, willingly or not.

| Tags & warnings - Men & minors DNI, Dark CEO!Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader, nothing else for the moment (I think?)

| MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING

| Part one. Part two. Part three.

When Natasha realised that you left nothing to her, taking even her cheque book, she had to call her sister, asking her to come and pay for her. Even if she tried to be as nice as she could in such a situation, she couldn’t keep her words from being harsh.

She couldn’t even remember the last time she had felt so humiliated. Natasha Romanoff, known as one of the most successful entrepreneurs of her generation, having to explain to the waiter that she can’t pay, having to ask her sister for money. It is something that shouldn’t have happened, something that needed to be repaired. 

If one thing was sure, it’s that Yelena has not been happy to be woken up by her sister’s bad mood, but she complied with her request without questioning it, knowing better than to argue with her eldest. 

“Don’t you dare to say a word", she warned when she eventually saw the blonde approaching the table.

She had been sitting here for almost an hour, waiting for her sister who decided to take her time. It was a childish way of avenging the brutal awakening she underwent, and the redhead would certainly have laughed if she wasn’t already irritated, and the youngest’s attitude only made it worse.

On the contrary, when Yelena saw her sister sitting at the table, she forgot about her bitterness, realizing how funny the situation was. She never could’ve imagined her sister calling her because she needed money. She is one of the richest people that exist on earth, and one of the most far-sighted at the same time. She always has her phone, at least two cards, her cheque book, and an absurd amount of cash, just in case.

The smile that grows on her face as she realizes how improbable the situation is earns her a slap on the back of the head, and Natasha never holds back her strength.

“Ouch!" She said, rubbing where she was hit, “it hurts!” She complained, but her sister doesn’t seem to care. In a second, the smile disappeared, giving way to a dark look.

“Shut up", the redhead said, rolling her eyes. She knows her sister as the back of her hand, and she also knows that the strength she put in that slap wasn’t enough to hurt her. She probably barely felt it, and is just too much of a cry baby sometimes. Something that’s pissing off the redhead that is in no mood for that kind of game. “Shut up, or you’ll learn what real pain is", she added, not even trying to hide the threat behind her words.

“You’ve no right to snap at me when I came all the way just to help you", she protested, and if they both knew she was right, her words were greeted by a simple sigh from the redhead who ran her hand over her face. No apologies, just silence. 

She couldn’t even remember the last time she witnessed her sister in such a state of distress, but she knows that nothing good came out of it. If she enjoys it when the oldest terrifies her men, she fears the incensed decisions she will inevitably make.

She could burn the whole city if she wanted to.

And Natasha has to admit that the thought crossed her mind a few times while she was waiting for the blonde to show up. She was barely able to control her anger, and couldn’t help but bounce her right leg under the table while her fingers were tapping on the table. But none of these actions helped to calm her nerves.

“I abandoned really important things, you know”, she added, as she took her wallet out of her pocket to put it in her sister’s hand. She had outstretched it toward her, and Yelena didn’t need words to understand what the redhead wanted. “All of that because you forgot your wallet …", she mumbled under her breath, but obviously the other heard it.

“I didn’t forget my wallet, it has been stolen”, she muttered, as if it could make the situation less embarrassing, as if she hoped her sister wouldn’t hear, but none of these statements turned out to be true. 

“You’re joking, right?” she asked back, not believing the oldest. “You can tell me, I won’t tell anyone if that’s the case”, she added, sure that her sister was lying to her in an attempt to hide what she probably considered as a weakness.

That’s what her sister always does. Most of the time, she is perfect, but when she inevitably makes mistakes, she always finds excuses. She blames her men, runs away, or pretends it has never happened, and Yelena feels like it’s exactly what’s happening right now. She is thinking that her sister has forgotten her wallet, but doesn't want to admit it. 

Maybe because the idea of Natasha being robbed sounds unbelievable.

“I am not lying, someone stole me”, she said again, and her sister better not make her repeat it a third time because she will really lose her temper this time. Everytime she said it out loud, it only made it a bit more real, as if she couldn’t quite believe it before. But the realization is now sinking in, and she feels like she is becoming crazy with all the thoughts that are crossing her mind at the moment. “They took everything", she angrily added, throwing the empty wallet on the table, only for the youngest to check.

And her sister was right. They took everything, not leaving a single penny. The blonde was so shocked that she didn’t even know how to react.

“But … who’s stupid enough to steal things from The Natasha Romanoff?” She managed to ask, once the initial surprise had worn off, “and how did that even happen?” she added, looking at her sister who was now pacing up and down the terrace.

But she knew she wouldn’t get an answer, at least no today. Her sister was ignoring her voice, too busy mumbling things to herself, and she would probably be thrown over the edge if she interrupts, so she waited for them to be in the car to talk again.

She didn’t even complain when the oldest stole her keys, deciding that she will be the one to drive without even asking first. The blonde slipped in the passenger seat, muttering a few insults that Natasha pretends not to hear.

“So, what do you want us to do?” she eventually asked after they’ve been sitting in silence for a few minutes. She was looking at the redhead, the one who was staring at the road, lost in her thoughts. 

“Nothing,” she replied, and brought back to reality by the question, she started the car, trying to ignore the look of surprise on her sister’s face. 

“Nothing?” she repeated, “so you’re just going to let them go away when they robbed you?” she continued, and the lack of reaction from her sister made her want to shake her sister to get her thinking straight.

“Nothing yet” she corrected her, putting an end to Yelena’s protests. Despite what the other may think, she doesn’t intend to let the culprit be forgiven. It has never been her intention, and she knows exactly what to do to get every penny back.

When she notices the determination in the eyes of the oldest, she knew the next months were going to be interesting. She smirks at the thought.

✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧

This time was the last. 

That’s what you said to yourself after every theft, and it has never been true, because you never earned enough to get out of this situation. What you were stealing was usually just enough for you to survive a few weeks, and even if you kept telling that to yourself, you stopped believing that it could become a reality. 

It was nothing more than a dream, you head knew it, even if your heart never stopped dreaming about a future brighter than your present. Every night, the day you would eventually be out of misery was the last thing you were thinking about, and you spent hours imagining how it would look like. 

You wanted an apartment that would be big enough to welcome the friends you would have made, and a job that you appreciate, but about which you would still complain. 

At first, it was only about stealing the essentials, a jumper or an apple for which you would feel guilty for days. It’s when you stopped fearing that someone would catch you that you’ve started to think bigger. The few people who witnessed your theft generally decided that they weren’t paid enough to come after you, a little girl isn't worth their energy.

The years have gone by, and if the number of your victims increased, your wealth hasn’t. That’s when you realized that stealing money from the tourists in the street was not what would give you a better life, and decided to go after the richest people on the earth, the ones that probably wouldn’t even notice if you’d taken a few hundred dollars from their wallet.

One day, you’ll be making so much money that you will be able to pay for your debts.

Slowly, this need to survive has turned into a need for a life where you would have something to call yours. You didn’t want something to eat, you wanted an apartment. You didn’t want stolen clothes, you wanted something bought with your own money. Even a cup or a pen would be enough, as long as you could claim it as yours. 

One day, you’ll deserve everything you have.

You stopped stealing almost two years ago, when you eventually raised enough money to start a new life, and the dream became a reality. It took you a lot of time and effort, but you eventually got exactly where you’ve been dreaming of being since your teenage years.

It was thanks to the inattention of this woman who hadn’t blocked her card when it was stolen, neither she declared her cheque book stolen, allowing you to use it as you wished for months. Usually, your victims are quick to solve the problem, leaving you only with the few notes you stole from their wallets.

But this time, you were left with more money than you ever had, more than enough to buy a ticket to another city, and still being able to buy essential supplies after. You could leave, rent a room for a few weeks, just until you find a job and get your first pay, you could even buy some new clothes, and you would still have enough money.

At first, you thought there was a catch, but the days have gone by, they became weeks, months, then years, and if the card and the cheque book never stopped working, nothing bad happened. No one ever knocked at your door, no letter got sent, and the feeling of dread you felt every time you paid has finally disappeared.

Maybe she forgot. Maybe she didn’t even notice. Maybe there was a problem that never got fixed. Maybe it’s just taking a lot of time. You have no idea, but you can’t help but wonder why, thinking about all the reasons that must have led to that situation.

It is fate. 

That’s what a part of your mind is whispering to you, and you ask nothing more than being able to believe it, the other part trying to understand the situation without being able to make sense of it. Even after two years, the question was still in the back of your mind, and you’re almost sure that you could still use the card if you wanted to.

But you don’t, because you made a promise to yourself. You swore that, the moment you would earn enough money to support yourself, you would stop using hers. It has been a bit more than a year since you found your job, and this part of your life feels so foreign now. The only reminder of your past is that box, where you’re keeping all the cards, cheque books, and wallets you once stole. The one that’s hidden in your closet, where no one could see it, not even yourself. The one that contains a past you want to forget about. 

You now have a job, an apartment, and you even made some friends on the way. They’re good people, hanging out with them makes you feel like you are too. They never asked questions about where you’re coming from, because they don’t need to know, they’re just appreciating you as you are. The grown-up version of who you were once.

When late at night guilt gnaws at your mind, you’re thinking about their compliments. When the sadness at the thought of your younger self never being loved that way, your memories with them remind you that you succeed to become someone that can be loved.

Someone that deserves everything she has.

There is only one person that had glimpses of who you were, and it’s Kate Bishop. Even if you’ve tried to keep your secrets away from her, it’s hard to do so when you’re spending all your days and nights with someone so curious.

Kate is a coworker, a roommate, but mostly your closest friend. It’s not because she understands you more than anyone else. It’s because she never makes a big deal of anything, and you know nothing you could tell her about you would change the way she acts around you. This girl is everything you want to be: free and happy.

Someone that doesn’t care about social norms. 

She would sneak into your room in the middle of the night just because she heard you cry. She wouldn’t even ask questions about the reasons behind the tears, only complaining about how thin the walls are, and how she can’t sleep because of that. 

She would go through your belongings when she needs something but she can’t ask you because you’re not home, only telling you when she gives the objects back.

She would answer your phone when it’s ringing while you’re in another room or your hands busy, holding the conversation as if the calls were intended for her. 

That’s how she discovered you were looking for a new place to stay. You’ve only been coworkers for a few months when she answered your phone. It was the social worker who called to tell you that you’ll have to move out of your flat within the next weeks because you no longer meet the criterias.

Your first reaction was to yell at Kate. It has been the first and only time you’ve done it, usually not minding when she does it. 

But this time it was different: you were scared. You didn’t know her a lot at that time, and you were fearing that this call would destroy the relationship you had started to build. You put so much effort into pretending that everything was fine, and had always been that way, that you thought the truth coming out would ruin everything.

She was the first relationship that you didn’t build on lies, at least not on the big ones. She also has been the first to be able to hold a conversation with you for a while. Not Lydia, or any name you might have borrowed by the past, but just y/n.

When you’ve spent your whole life lying, it’s not easy to know who you are.

It was a bad habit that you had a hard time quitting, still having the urge to lie about some details. Maybe to appear as a more interesting person, maybe because you are afraid to disappoint them. 

No, it’s because it’s comforting.

It’s what gave you a bit of hope, what gave you the impression that you had a normal life. You’ve never been interested in living the marvelous lives of your alias, you just wanted a normal one for you. Maybe if you tell these stories a lot of time, your mind will accept them as reality. 

Over the years, lying became more than a habit: it was an addiction. You felt bad every time you lied to the black-haired, even if it was only about small and insignificant things, like your favourite colour, but you couldn’t just stop. It’s only that day that you realised that it might ruin everything between the two of you.

Everything has been so easy since you met Kate. You never felt like you were too much, or in the wrong place, because she always made sure to integrate you into the team, and you’re still regretting the words that fell from your lips that day. 

She was the first genuine friend you’ve made, and that’s how you thanked her kindness, with snide remarks that she didn’t deserve.

For a minute, you saw yourself back there. In that lonely and miserable place.

But she didn’t get angry. Nor for the lies, nor for the horrible things you said. She didn’t look at you with pity, but with something that was closer to surprise, as if she couldn’t quite understand your reaction, but knew enough to not judge. That’s when she asked you to be her flatmate.

Kate was the first one to learn about your favourite colour, the real one, and all your daily habits. From your favourite thing to eat for breakfast to the time you get up, she knows things you never thought you would share with someone one day. Kate has been the first one to see y/n. The one that doesn’t wear any mask, the one that does not need to pretend she is someone else.

Then, it was your turn.

Tonight, when you’re looking in the mirror, the only thing you can see is your smile. A bright, and big one. Even with makeup on, you are not looking or feeling as anyone else than yourself. Every choice has been made by you to suit your taste. 

“Are you done yet?” She asked, and you could hear Kate’s muffled voice through the bathroom’s door, “we’re going to be late!” She complained for what’s probably the tenth time in the last quarter, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she was stamping her foot on the other side of the door, throwing a tantrum like a child.

“Isn’t it what celebrities are supposed to do?” you replied, a smug smile on your face as you eventually opened the door after spending more than an hour in the room. 

Everything needs to be perfect, and perfection demands time, something your impatient roommate doesn’t seem to agree with. The second you stepped out of the bathroom, she grabbed your arm.

“That’s not funny!” she exclaimed as she started dragging you toward the entrance. You couldn’t help, but roll your eyes at her attitude.

You know that the real reason behind her actions isn’t a concern for punctuality, Kate always being late, but just a result of her excitement for the evening that’s coming: some friends of hers are going to play music in a bar, and she doesn’t want to miss even a second of the show. A simple glance at the clock confirms what you were thinking: you’re not late. 

But you also know it’s useless to argue with the black haired woman when she is in that state of mind, so you just go along with it, letting your friend drag you toward the entrance. You have just enough time to grab your bag before you leave the apartment.

You are too focused on your footsteps to be listening to her rambling about the coming party, trying to not trip on your own feet. But she isn’t listening to you either, deaf to your pleas for her to slow down, or to let go of your arm, and it’s only when you arrive at the said bar that you get your freedom back. 

✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧ • ✧

She never forgot.

She has been thinking about what happened that night every day since. The years have gone by, but it never left her mind, and picturing all the ways in which she could get back what you owe her was soothing her to sleep every night.

Despite her impatience, she took her time, waiting for the moment you would’ve forgotten about her, when you would let your guard down, thinking that your past mistakes had been forgotten, and forgiven. Maybe your previous victims did, but she has nothing in common with these guys, and chasing you wasn’t about the money. It was about dignity.

She needed to make you feel the same shame that she had that morning. 

Some of her associates don’t understand her obsession, even her sister sometimes suggested that she let it go, fearing that it would jeopardize the company. But she stayed firm; you started a game that night, and she is not the kind that appreciates losing.

She is determined to show you that two can play that game.

It wasn’t difficult to track you down. The only obstacle had been the false identity you built for yourself, but it had only been a matter of months before she found you, there was no way she couldn’t recognize your face on the security tape. It was in the middle of the night, one of those where she couldn’t sleep, and eventually decided that she would rather look for you instead of tossing and turning in her bed, consumed by her thoughts.

That’s when she found it, a footage from a shop’s security camera where your face appeared. You were nothing like the woman she met at the party, from your hair to the way you were moving, you definitely had none of Lydia’s elegance, and she couldn’t even understand how you’ve been able to pretend to be her, and how you’ve possibly been good enough to fool her, The Natasha Romanoff.

But despite the numerous differences, she was sure it was you on that video. There were details you couldn’t change, and the shape of your jaw was one of them. She could still see your face as she had you pinned beneath her that night, her fingers running along your cheeks, wishing that moment would last forever. 

Since then, she kept collecting these videos as a kid would collect cards, watching them regularly. The footage made everything make sense, and you seemed closer than ever as she kept hitting the replay button.

She had to admit that you are smart, but not smart enough, and everytime you used the card was one more clue guiding her in the right direction. At first, she was able to track your movements, it only took her a few more weeks before she discovered your identity, and more importantly, learned about your past.

A few weeks, that’s all it took, yet she had waited several years before going after you, deciding it was the right time only when you started building a new life for yourself. You moved to a city where no one knew your name, you got a normal job, and haven’t stolen since. You even made some friends. You got the life you have probably dreamed about since your teenage years, and she knew that perfectly. 

She also knew that the moment she would break your illusion of peace, and steal your hope of a better life, you’ll be heartbroken. Hopeless.

She saw how, as the years went by, you started to be less cautious, thinking that your past mistakes were nothing more than faded memories in your mind. She saw how you eventually stopped looking around every time you were going out, how you started opening up to your friends, seeming to forget about what you have done. 

But she didn’t forget, and she promised herself that you wouldn’t either. It’s only fair that you pay for your mistakes, isn’t it? 

She started the car when she saw you, and Kate, disappear round the corner. You were obviously out for the night, and it was the perfect opportunity. No one would pay attention to the disappearance of a girl, not in a crowded, dark place that reeked of alcohol and illegal substances.

| MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING

| Part one. Part two. Part three.

| tag list - @thalia-is-not-ok / @tobiaslut

[arecaceae175]

Euphoria

My state legislators are trying to violently erase my existence so have some very very super trans drabbles full of trans joy as an act of rebellion. I transed literally everyone’s gender

Warnings: discussion of people who are not women menstruating, discussion of binding and taping practices and semi on-screen application, mention of unsafe binding practices and bruises, brief mention of racism/classism but it’s veeeeery brief and not said by name, dysphoria mentioned

Pronouns:

Time: they/them and xe/xem/xyr

Sky: he/she

Legend: ey/em/eir

Wild: any

Hyrule: they/he

Warriors: he/him 

Twilight: he/they 

Four: she/they/xe

Wind: trying out different pronouns! Not sure yet! 

Time stopped in their tracks, barely avoiding running into three children standing directly in the middle of the pathway. Time blinked, then waved at the children.

“Are you a boy or a girl?” The first child asked. 

“Neither,” Time said. 

“Then what are you?” The child asked.

The second child gasped, hands flying to their mouth. “Are you a fairy?” 

“Or a goddess!” The third child yelled. 

Time shrugged and walked away. Xe heard the children’s ‘woah’ behind them and chuckled softly. 

~ ~  ▲ ~ ~ ~

“I wore a binder for a long time before I became a soldier. After that I had to get good at taping. I tried wearing a binder at first, but that was not good,” Warriors said with a self-deprecating chuckle. 

“I know what you mean,” Twilight said, rubbing his ribs absentmindedly. 

“I keep a roll of tape as a reminder of my privilege. I was able to afford the surgery because of my status in the army, but that opportunity isn’t available to most people. Especially poor people or people with darker skin, it’s almost impossible to get it done,” Warriors explained. 

“I don’t know many other trans people, but those I do haven’t had it,” Twilight said. “Dusk said she knows someone who can do that kind of thing and offered to pay for mine, but I couldn’t let her do that. I asked for the money to go to someone who needed it more. My dysphoria isn’t too bad, anyway. Tape and bindings work just fine.”

“Okay, I’m coming out,” Hyrule said from behind the tree. 

Twilight chuckled. “I think we’ve passed that bit,” they said. Warriors rolled his eyes and groaned, and he heard Hyrule’s soft chuckle from behind the tree. 

Hyrule slowly emerged, their tunic clutched to their chest. Warriors already had his shirt off and Twilight pulled his own off. Their chest was taped, and Warriors was impressed with how flat it looked under the shirt. 

“It’s pretty hard to do the first few times, so don’t be discouraged if it doesn't look good at first,” Warriors said as Twilight picked up his tape. Twilight unrolled some of the tape and cut two pieces off with a knife.

“This looks about right. This is special tape made just for this, so it shouldn’t hurt your skin,” Twilight said, holding the pieces up for Hyrule to inspect. 

“Woah,” Hyrule said, brushing their fingers on the tape. He gasped as soon as his fingers made contact. “It’s enchanted!” 

“Sure is,” Twilight said. 

“Are you sure there’s enough? I’m sure that isn't easy to get,” Hyrule said. 

“I’m sure. The people who make it ask for us to pay what we can. Dusk makes sure the castle keeps them and others like them funded on slow months so everyone can get what they need,” Twilight explained. 

Hyrule bit their lip and looked up at Twilight’s chest. Warriors knew from experience this wasn’t easy for either of them, and he admired their courage. 

“It looks so natural,” Hyrule muttered. 

“It’s safer, too,” Warriors said. Hyrule blushed. Warriors and Twilight had insisted they teach Hyrule proper binding methods after they discovered he was hiding bruises.

“Now, I can demonstrate on myself, or I can describe the process and you can try it privately. It’s easiest if I show you on yourself, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Twilight said.

“I can go too, if you want less of an audience,” Warriors said. 

Hyrule shook their head. “No, stay. I trust both of you, it’s just… hard.”

Warriors felt his expression soften. “I know. We can both understand that.”

Hyrule gave him a small, sad smile. Then they took a breath, steeled their expression, and nodded. 

“I’m ready,” Hyrule said, and they very slowly dropped their tunic onto the rock.

“I’ll be quick,” Twilight said as he knelt down in front of Hyrule and began to explain the process.

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

Wild spun and spun, her skirt flaring out beneath her. Her opal earrings dangled from her ears, signaling today as a she day. She laughed loudly, throwing her arms into the air. 

“This is amazing!” Wild said. Legend chuckled and nodded. Ey were leaning against a nearby tree next to Four, both in skirts of their own. Legend’s was pastel purple, Wild’s was a bright green, and Four’s was rainbow. 

“Have you never had a skirt like this before?” Four asked. She swayed side to side, letting the skirt swish around their legs.

Wild shook her head. “I have a Gerudo outfit, but it’s pants. And I have a dress from Flora, but it doesn’t flow like this one. This much fabric is hard to come by,” Wild explained. 

She finally stopped spinning and flopped onto the ground. “Everything’s spinning,” Wild muttered, clenching her eyes shut. Legend and Four laughed. 

A stick broke in the forest behind them. Legend and Four both jumped around with a hand on their weapons. Wild, with great effort, sat up and grabbed her bow. 

“Sorry,” Sky said, sheepishly rubbing a hand on the back of her neck. 

“Oh, Sky,” Four said, dropping xyr hand. Wild flopped back onto the ground with a moan to protest the movement. 

Sky’s face was flushed red, and his hands were pulling on his sailcloth. 

Legend narrowed cocked eir head to the side in question. “Everything okay?” Legend asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s good,” Sky said. “I was just wondering… if you had any more skirts? And if I could try one on?”

Four’s face lit up. “Of course!” 

“Yeah, I’ve got loads,” Legend said, kneeling down to dig through eir bag. Ey deliberated for only a moment, then pulled out a skirt in a deep red color.

“This one will look good on you,” Legend said, holding it out to Sky. 

“Thank you,” Sky said sincerely as he took the skirt. “I mean it, I really appreciate this.”

Legend waved away the praise, ducking eir head to hide eir smile. “Don’t mention it. Just get it on and join the twirling party.”

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

“Have you noticed we’re the only two in the group who use one set of pronouns?” Legend asked. 

Warriors ran through the list in his head, then nodded. “Huh, you’re right. I’m the only one of us that fits within the traditional binary, too.”

Legend wrinkled eir nose. “Gross. I don’t like being in any sort of group with a man,” Ey said with a smirk. 

“Hey!” Warriors said, jumping to his feet. Legend jumped up as well and took off into the forest, laughter echoing behind em. “Get back here!” 

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

“Time, why do you use they and xe pronouns?” Wind asked. 

Time was expecting this question. Wind had been asking all of them individually, trying to figure out which pronouns fit. 

“I don’t feel much of a connection to gender,” Time said. “I prefer neutral pronouns.”

“What do you mean?” Wind asked, head tilted to the side. 

Time allowed themself a moment to process the question and come up with a suitable answer. This was important to Wind, so they wanted to be sure xyr answer was good.

“Warriors has always known he’s a man. He felt it even before he had the language to describe it. Wild feels like so many different genders, and uses earrings to signal different pronouns because they feel their gender identity strongly every day.

“I wasn’t raised with a concept of gender. Even when I was exposed to different genders I never felt like any of them fit. When I left where I grew up, it was the first time people perceived me as my gender. What they assumed it was, at least. It didn’t feel right. I don’t know how to describe it better than that,” Time said. 

Wind was watching xem with wide eyes, absorbing every word. “I’m not sure what gender I feel like, either,” Wind said.

“That’s okay,” Time said. 

“Maybe I’ll try they? I like that better than he or she, I think. Maybe,” Wind said with a small frown. 

“You don’t have to use any pronouns if you don’t want to,” Time said. 

“How would that work?” Wind asked.

“We can refer to you with your name instead of pronouns,” Time said. Wind was silent for a moment, thinking about Time’s offer.

“I’ll keep that in mind. For now, I want to try they,” Wind decided.

“They it is,” Time agreed. "If it doesn't feel right, you can try something else."

Wind beamed. 

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

Twilight was curled into a tight ball. His uterus burned, and spikes of pain shot through their body every time they moved. The first day of his cycle was always the worst. The pain was nearly incapacitating. 

“Hey, Twi,” Wild said, laying a gentle hand on Twilight’s back. 

Twilight groaned in response. 

“That bad, huh?” Wild asked. Twilight nodded. They moved the blanket very slightly, just enough to peek an eye out and check Wild’s earrings. Amber.

“Can you sit up? I brought some tea. It’s Hyrule’s special recipe. They were excited to share it. And I added some honey,” Wild said. They held a steaming mug in their hands. Warm tea sounded heavenly, but moving most certainly did not. 

Twilight sighed deeply, then braced himself to move. As soon as he started, Wild’s hands were on his arms and back to help. Between the two of them, they got Twilight propped against a tree. Twilight shut his eyes and clenched a fist in his blankets, trying their best to focus on breathing through the pain. 

“Okay?” Wild asked once Twilight’s breathing calmed down. 

“Yeah,” Twilight mumbled. “Tea?” 

“Here,” Wild said. They gently grabbed Twilight’s wrist and brought his hand up to the mug. 

Twilight took a sip and felt the tension in his body release as the warmth spread through him. There was a slight bitterness in the tea that Twilight could just barely taste. Wild must have snuck some pain relief potion in, and used the honey to mask the taste. Normally Twilight would protest, but they figured the group could spare one potion. He would feel the same if it was any of the others.

“Thank you,” Twilight said, cracking open their eyes. 

Wild smiled widely and nodded. “No problem. I have more water boiling for a hot pack, too. I’ll bring it when it’s ready.”

Twilight smiled gratefully as Wild tucked the blanket more firmly around his shoulders. 

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

Legend gasped loudly, running up and grabbing the cloth with both hands.

“That!” Ey exclaimed loudly. “That is the most gender confusing piece of clothing I’ve ever seen! I have to have it.”

Sky cocked her head to the side as he inspected the item. “What is it?”

“A dress? Or a long tunic? But it has shorts? What’s going on with the top there?” Wind said, running their hands over the fabric. 

“The top looks so masculine, but the bottom looks feminine,” Sky said. 

“This will be a perfect addition to my collection,” Legend said. 

“What collection?” Wind asked.

“My collection of clothes to confuse cis people,” Ey said. Sky and Wind laughed.

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

Four jumped at the click of Wild’s slate. Wild brought the slate down and stared at the photo with a small, genuine smile on their face. 

“What is it?” Four asked. Wild came to sit beside them, slate tucked against their chest. 

“You said you’ve been feeling more feminine lately, and you’ve been feeling a bit dysphoric about it,” Wild said. Four’s face flushed slightly as she nodded. 

“The light is shining just right, and you look like a princess right now,” Wild explained. They moved the slate in front of Four, and Four gasped once xe looked at the image on the screen.

Wild was right. Four looked like a princess. Their skirt flared out in a wide circle, and her tight tunic accentuated their body’s curves. Xyr hair was braided in a half up half down style, and the hairstyle combined with the angle of the photo made her features look more feminine than usual. Four felt a pressure behind her eyes as she stared at the image. 

“Thank you, Wild,” Four said. Wild put an arm around Four’s shoulder and squeezed her tightly against their side. 

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

“What term do Groose and Sun use for you?” Time asked. 

“They use boyfriend and girlfriend,” Sky answered. His eyes got that special look in them, the one that meant she was daydreaming about her partners. 

“They started out saying boyfriend. Once I started exploring my gender, Groose called me his girlfriend and it was such an incredible feeling. They use them both interchangeably, now, and I get that amazing feeling every single time,” Sky said. 

Time smiled widely at Sky’s joy. 

“What about you? What do you and Malon use?” Sky asked.

“Malon likes to be called my wife. Publicly, she calls me her partner. The term isn’t my favorite, but we haven’t come up with anything else that sounds better,” Time said. 

“And privately?” Sky asked with a smirk.

“She’s quite… creative,” Time said. Sky laughed and covered her head with her sailcloth.

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

“Excuse me.” 

Warriors glanced up in surprise. A small child was standing at his side, nervously wringing their hands in their shirt.

“Hello, there. Is everything okay?” Warriors asked. 

The child nodded. “My mommy sent me for herbs, but I can’t reach the shelf. Can you help me please?” 

“Of course. Which one do you need?” Warriors asked. The child pointed, and Warriors grabbed the item off the shelf. “Is this enough?”

“Thank you, sir!” The child nodded with a smile and sped off to the payment counter. 

Sir.

Warriors felt joy flutter in his chest. That feeling never got old. 

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Luke got his first guitar when he was seven years old. His ADHD therapist had recommended that he pick up a hobby as a fixation to redirect all his energy instead of doing something that could potentially harm him. Emily and Mitch had tried a lot of things at first. Cooking, drawing, basketball, running, everything that a seven year old would find interesting. But, as soon as Luke got his first guitar from his parents, he knew he had found his passion.

Emily and Mitch thought it was his fixation. Luke knew that music was the love of his life.

Two years into playing everyday, trying to practice chords from his favourite songs, and making new riffs just to see if he could make a decent song. He could, for a nine year old. His love for music was also how he met his best friends, Reggie, Alex, and Bobby. The Patersons had assumed that the boys had bonded over their hobby of creating music, or just playing covers of songs they liked. They never realised how much more important music was to them than they let it show.

Mitch and Emily did not seem to have a problem with the guitar and the lyrics and the music going on constantly. As long as Luke didn’t do anything that could harm him, they were fine. And when, at twelve, Luke started talking about making a career for himself in music, he started talking about being the best Rock band to ever exist, Emily and Mitch didn’t pay much attention at that time either.

But then, Luke got into high school, and he still spoke about creating music as a career for himself, and he still practised more with his band than doing homework or studying, and the Patterson couple couldn’t ignore it anymore. They knew that their son was very much serious about his choices.

So, they tried to explain it to him gently at first. Tried to tell him all the cons of being a musician. Instability in finance, no privacy, constant pressure, ‘all or nothing’ mentality, and the list went on and on and on. But Luke kept repeating to them, day after day, night after night, “I’ll do all of the bad stuff if it means that I can feel connected to the rest of the world through music. I’ll do all of it if I could just make people feel understood and valid, and alive.”

And Mitch would always just say, “That’s not your job, Luke. Leave it for someone else. You should focus on being able to provide for yourself and your family.”

And it went for months, and those months turned into years, and their gentle explanations turned to screaming and taunting and making comments about his choices. In the start, Luke would escape to Alex’s house, or Reggie’s, or Bobby’s. They’d never ask him to explain, and just cuddle with him and pretend not to notice when he cried, because they knew Luke would tell them when he was ready to.

By the time Luke was sixteen, he felt like he was immune to his parents’ words. It was the same thing over and over, like a broken record, and Luke had lost the will in him to fight his parents, to beg for their support and love. He just sat on the couch and listened as his parents screamed at him from behind.

“The boy never listens to me. He doesn’t understand that he needs to do something productive with his life.” Emily screamed.

“I worked so hard and paid so much money to get you into a good school, Luke, and you’re just going to waste it all away.” Mitch said.

“I mean, at least, think about your future family. No one will want to be a broke so-called rock star who’s scraping through life. Think of how you’ll provide for us when we’re old. Or are you going to make your father work all his life?” Emily yelled at him.

“Honestly, Emily, I think we should start keeping money aside for retirement. We shouldn’t trust him to be able to provide for us, if he won’t be able to provide for himself. We can’t be dependent on him if he’s going to have a very unstable job.” Mitch said.

And with all the screaming and taunts and the words echoing in Luke’s brain, he was surprised when his parents heard him. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but he said it before he could stop himself.

“Pay attention to me, please.”

Emily and Mitch turned towards him so fast, but he remained seated on the couch, staring out the window. “What?”

“Pay attention to me, please.” Luke said, louder.

He stood up, turning to his parents, “For once in your life, please, just pay attention to me. Pay attention to what I want to do, and support me and love me for it. Listen to what I’m trying to say. Listen to what my vision, my goal in life is, instead of putting your goals on mine. Listen to what I’m thinking and what I’m trying to plan, keeping everyone in the loop, instead of throwing assumptions about what could be.

Please, just pay attention to the words I’m screaming so quietly at you.”

The Pattersons did not respond well to what Luke had said. Luke ran away for the first time that night, coming back after the police caught him three weeks later. And then at seventeen, he left for good. They never paid attention to him. They never listened to him.

In 2020, after Luke, Reggie, and Alex had become humans, and Julie had told Ray the full truth, Ray had enrolled them in Julie’s school. He had asked the boys to select the courses they would enjoy.

Luke wanted to choose music, and he knew he could, but his parents’s words stopped him. Because, what if they didn’t make it big? What if he was barely above the water? What if he couldn’t take care of Julie, of Alex, of Reggie? What if he failed his family?

Luke chose a programme he would never be happy in.

When he’d given his sheet to Ray, Ray had looked at his selections, and just said, “Are you sure, mijo?”

Luke nodded, though his eyes told a different story. His twisting fingers told a different story. His bouncing feet told a different story.

Ray had nodded, and pulled out his laptop to file it in.

When school had started, and Luke got his schedule, his eyes filled with tears when he saw the classes for the music programme instead of the sucky one he had chosen. Julie had hugged him, and Alex and Reggie wrapped themselves around him without a word. Maybe they knew. Maybe they didn’t. Luke was just happy in that moment.

That night, when Luke got a moment alone with Ray, he whispered, “Thank you.”

Ray knew what he was talking about and he said, “I’ve gotten good at paying attention to silent screams. You can be who you want in this house. No restrictions.”

Luke hugged Ray, sobbing uncontrollably.

Someone finally paid attention to him.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

who says you're not getting an ask? because I'm giving you one right now!

anyway, I'm curious about Burn Fast, Burn Bright. not anything specific really, just surprise me ig. I love that fic of yours a whole lot as I'm sure I've stated to you before.

CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?? TY!!! fic in question, which is OLD as HELL and I got second hand embarrassment from all the things I could’ve done better MAN. here are my thoughts before we get into it;

- this was the second fic I’d written for stanuary, and one of the longer fics I’ve written Ever actually. 15k words. I don’t know how I was able to produce so many words for these events ngl I hope I can redo that this year ANYWAY. first impressions? shallow angst. I think that’s what this is gonna be TO ME, because I’m the author and I hate myself. this was written almost a year ago… ough

- the descriptions will be Okay, but could be Better. I think I’ve gotten better at those hopefully.

- I was writing a lot of 80s angst during this time period and this was the second in that bunch. loose ties and ends, that one kid from jersey, unfortunate ends, like?? I was on a roll. what was wrong with me (still wrong with me)

- the gnomes are here? damn. I like gnomes

- oh that summary. already fucking me up

- I’m going in with the mindset that even at the time I knew that there was improvement to be had. This is my growing. I’m STILL growing. we can do this. I was still trying to find my groove. NOW LETS GOOOOOO

He’s left the damned duffel bag.

The one thing he had to take, and he’s left it behind. Stan has nothing to curse but his own self, because how is he so stupid as to not notice for a whole day? He’d spent the whole day driving through Oregon, hopping from gas station to gas station and it’s only now, the next morning, that he realizes there are no extra clothes to change into?

already onto a great start /genuine. an earlier draft had this to be a Lot more aggressive—using exclamation points and harsher language and shit, but once I realized that it would be a little odd that we start so strong, I toned it down. I think it gives a bit more of ‘resonate despondence’, which is very (sometimes) stan

Ford had always been bad at explaining things. He always expected the listener to know exactly what he’s talking about, be at his exact intelligence level, so that his ‘explaining’ could be understood with just a few words. 100% of the time, that isn’t the case.

literally me. best but of ford characterization someone could have conjured fr

okay already a detour but did you guys know I read my fics in my head in a VERY SPECIFIC tone, and that’s why most of the italicizations and em dashes exist? that’s why they’re there because if someone doesn’t read it the way I do I slowly die inside /silly I still do it today and I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t have to do everything for my reader. I should trust them.

(Yeah, Stan wants to let his anger out, but he’s not gonna kill the guy. Ford looks fragile enough as it is, and if he fights any harder he’ll probably break his leg or a rib. No point in damaging him, really.)

yes that’s so nice stan. you’re such a good brother dude oh my GOD IM—

this whole ford pleading scene here. here’s some bits;

“It…” Ford inhales deeply. “It’s not forever. I just need it away.”

“I don’t—Stan, I don’t want you to sail away to the ends of the Earth.”

“This—this, right here, I can’t do it.” Ford gestures to the portal wildly, giving it a scowl that could give Stan a run for his money. He almost thinks it’s directed at him, since he stands in front of the machine’s eye. “I can’t fix this!”

oh I’m feeling the feelings what the fuck. I can hear the last dialogue SO WELL. I remember vividly rewatching atots like four times just to listen to the fight and I’m still not desensitized. like the way ford delivers such a genuinely misguided request and seeing nothing wrong with how it might be worded which ALSO being on the verge of snapping? yeah ford I’ll give you a pass you’re going through shit. I’m so glad it still reads!!!

“I’m already too far gone, Stanley, an-and I can’t think of anyone else, anyone who would want to help.”

ohhhhhi can hear this too. it’s a Hint you know. it’s supposed to tip you off; something is REALLY wrong….

okay I’m restraining myself from pasting this entire ford exchange but it’s so GOOD. I’m flattering myself. And I didn’t even take that long on it I remember I wrote most of chapter one in a single burst. everything you see? barely edited. all put on at once. threw up on a page. I was feeling things

Ford sets the Journal aside. He, aside from the glaring obvious, does not look shaken up. “Yes, I know. Never… see me again.”

He sounds bitter. Almost too bitter for his liking. It’s almost contagious, from how it seems to roll off him and outwardly.

“You…” Stan has to phrase this kindly. “You know I don’t want that, right?”

Ford doesn’t relax. Instead, his gaze only darkens. “I know.”

i remember crying. I was tearing UP. that’s them. that’s something I would say if I were stan. make sure they know that I don’t want that. I…!!!!

Stan wonders what Stan will say.

one of the few bits I was smiling for when writing this….

So he should be here.

I forgot the name for this literary device even though I started using it religiously after this BUT YEAHHHHHHHH GET OUR FEELINGS BABE

not gonna paste it but what ford(‘s body) is hiding by. I’m gonna be honest despite watching atots so much I forgot where the portal opened. like dead ass, so I made it up. the bookshelf is supposed to be the portal. I think the fic ‘by the skin of your teeth’ was still severely affecting me and that was the portal in that fic. this is what you get when you don’t check your references. it literally happened to me yesterday! I was finishing up chapter six of do you remember hanging up the stars and it was about aziraphale and crowley on the ark back in 3000 bc right. I forgot what the ark looked like other than a Single Memory so I bullshitted it. I then remembered I had a Resource, Checked, and it was. well I completely forgot about where the humans would’ve gone. lol

I can’t paste it all bc it’s like the whole fic but Stan’s DENIAL. the way he’s sooooo deep in it that it’s a physical jarring when he’s ripped out of it. he’s literally such a denial grieved it’s SICK and I can’t believe I wrote it so easily. Ahem. that says things I think whether good or bad is up to your interpretation

some of these dialogues are weirdly cut off. I think Stan’s a lot more of a run on sentencer. hm

okay now I’m getting into the secondhand embarrassment that would probably be extreme heartbreak had into created this. I think at this point I was very emotionally worn down; not just from writing but Life too. there’s not much to say. it just Exists

oh that fucking letter. fucking letters. I love ford letters you know that they’re so delectable especially when he’s allowed to make them long. this WHOLE THING. wow. and the way he OPENS IT. classic ‘we don’t have much time’ action type beat *writes a two paged letter*. also the crossing out things. I’m a fucking genius. augh

I don’t know if you would like to stay in Gravity Falls after this, but I would like you to do two things, the two things I could not.

UHM EXCUSE ME YOU REALLY THINK SO?? LIKE GENUINELY??? woah buddy. anyways this hurts me because I know he’s being genuine about this he DOESNT know if Stan would like to stay. he doesn’t know. HE DOESNT KNOW—

Unless there is an afterlife, this is Stanford Pines, your brother, signing off.

(Thank you, Stan. For everything.)

THAT. THAT? I was kicking my little evil feet oh I WAS. I was thinking ‘what could I do in character that could REALLY fuck you up?’ and I landed there. I loved it so much I literally used the thank you ploy again for a recent whumptober entry and it STILL HIT FOR ME. like. ford and thank yous. always painful 🥹

Two: After all this?

Stan isn’t planning to last a week.

see look it’s funny because. because the summary is about stan always following through with his plans. it was a parallel. he went through with a plan and it resulted in ford fucking off the face of the earth. so now he’s got a new one. new mission, new plan, new end. I loved thatshit…..

He didn’t expect for the pawn off to be so violent.

I had a very different opening here; it was something with bill watching everything before unfold and THEN cut to ford going through with the plan? but then I decided ‘hey wait a sec we never see stan LEAVE after that little flashback. how did that leaving go?’ and now we’re here. damn I even had an alt opening

now that we know ford’s suicide is inevitable (and that we’re in his head) I start slathering that foreshadowing everywhere….

“Okay. Okay, I’ll go. But I’m comin’ back, ya hear me? I’m not leavin’ you again.”

it’s giving crowley saying ‘I’m coming back, I won’t leave you alone’. hehehe

It does untangle, after a few seconds of frantic pulling and Ford’s shouting beforehand.

Stan doesn’t have the decency to apologize. He flaps his palm as if he got burned. “Yeesh. Your hair’s a mess.”

look it’s funny because. because. well you know. hair untangling. corpse

“And get some fucking sleep! You look half-dead!”

There it is.

yeahhhhhhh I was just being mean. stan babygirl he’s already going to do it. don’t add insult to injury

It was time to enact Plan A. If Plan A didn’t work (which it had to. He didn’t even have a Plan B) then it’d be time to panic.

the original title for this fic (like the FIRST ONE. not when I turned this into a two parter) was called ‘Plan B’, because 1) plan A indeed does not work and plan b is suicide, and 2) B for Bill. :)

But knowing Stanley, he’d find a way to show just how pissed off he was at Ford even if he was in the afterlife.

:) x2. still proud of this

When Fiddleford first learned of the gnomes, he was more than disturbed. Almost spooked. Ford had insisted that as long as you had bug spray and mushrooms, they would be manageable. Sadly, Fiddleford had thought mushrooms ‘takin’ care of the problem’ would be in warding them away, that mushrooms were a repellant of some kind.

FIDDLEFORD MY BELOVED!!!! I love writing beats like this I still do. it’s just so nice to take random hcs and put them in the most tense and matter of fact situations just to distract us a little. make us look away, but not entirely. ough

He wants to shake on it.

it’s the little traumas that break our hearts.

okayyyyyy I’ll be honest ford leaving the portal for someone else to kill it is Very ooc. I’ll admit that. but I need my Scenario!!!!! I don’t regret it. just know that I acknowledge it. *cries*

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the ‘method’. oh ‘the method’. fucking kills me. he debated ont his. rationally. RATIONALLY I WAS LITERALLY THAT ONE MEME THATS SCREAMING AT MY CHARACTERS TO STOP BUT IM THE ONE WHOS PUTTING THEM THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE—

ough. the bullet points. okay I’m running out of commentary steam but let me say this. I asked for hcs on my blog right? so I could put some of those here because even I run out of hcs eventually, and people DELIVERED. I loved them. I put every single one in at least One point, and seeing these tiny memories just spring up at he’s doing this is like that thing with the fiddleford/mushrooms bit. he’s distracting himself. making th situation less scary in his eyes. OUGH

OH AND THE PILLS NOT BEING FORD’S BUT STAN’S? ONE OF MY KAST ALTERATIONS BUT SOOOOOOO WORTH IT. NO NOTES JUST ULTIMATE ANGST

Ford had considered being a doctor for some time while in elementary school. It was a given, considering his intelligence and avid nature towards sciences. His love for the supernatural always gave in however, and it has won every battle. But for a long time after, a part of him wanted to be a chemist, a manufacturer, a creator. Sure, it soon became a pipe dream, but for a while it was a genuine choice.

But Ford is an experimenter. He realized early on that he wouldn’t be able to resist pouring the components and chemicals on his skin, if only to see how they would react to human flesh.

motherfucker.that guy is literally me

btw these spaces after the em dashes are killing my soul. I remember once that I thought everyone else was wrong with no spaces and I was right. Oh, past me. No.

How could you not love someone like that?

God, he’s never going to see him again.

*SNIFF*

4.5 million humans in the world. 230 million humans in America. 7 million in New Jersey. 2 million in Oregon. Around sixty or seventy species of anomalies in Gravity Falls alone. And that doesn’t even account past Earth, if Crash Site Omega was accounted for.

I had to look all that shit up I don’t even know if it’s right. at first it’d been modern day stats but THEN I remembered that we’re in the fucking 1980s so ofc it’s different. ALSO LOOOK I FUCKED UP IT SAYS MILLION NOT BILLIONS. IM GONNA DIE. FUCK. either way we stay silly we stay silly!!! just know that little paragraph has caused me so much grief.

Ford always hated funerals.

this was the beginning of the ‘we hate funerals’ saga. still do hate them. I hate them, ford hates them, crowley hates them, ALL OF THE HOMIES HATE THEM 🫵🫵 /j

Mania is a feeling he knows well, and this is not that.

lmao name drop *i was on the verge of tears*

It’s Ford, the snow, and his candle, which has no more wax to burn.

THE TITLE THE TITLE THE TITLE—

the spacing. the html gave me sooooo much trouble but it was worth it!!!! every space was deliberated and checked and shit. ough. OUGH

okayyyy im capping it here because I’m so so tired. but!!! here it is. I just. wow. Less yet more corny than I thought this would be. I hope you enjoyed that little roller coaster, and I’m off on Life Adventures. Which means Errands. fuck…..

[theagonyofadoration]

There is beauty in being infinitesimal. In being so solitary that the divine is simply something that you experience on your own instead of as a group. Outside validation being sweet as honey aside, it is a unique experience to gradually come to terms with the fact that I am in connection with the divine as I am and have shit to do. To think, to work on, to cultivate.

I don’t need to find everything in Hethert, because I can find those other things in Mother Mary. They serve different purposes, respond differently to my prayers, ask for different things in return. And I’m learning that it’s important to not fixate on one half or the other while completely ignoring the other part of my nature that thrives under whichever Her is connected to. The divine feminine sounds like a woo-woo thing, and technically it does seem to be. But at the same time, it is unique to me. It feels specific in ways that I am tempted to shove into boxes of other people’s correspondence lists, even as I know I’d get my fingers sliced and bruised for trying. You can’t herd the ocean, box the stars. They just are, and that’s the way things are.

Kemeticism was perfect for the base on this front, by the way. Having practiced frequently in the art of knowing that there are multiple ways of looking at things, multiple gods that do things in certain ways, all different, all true. If I didn’t have practice of training myself to look at things that way very, very carefully throughout my tumultuous existence on this earth, this would have me scream-crying and pulling my hair out. Turns out I got most of that out of my system, even if the base of it is something to keep an eye on instead of trying to cull completely. Because logically, it makes sense. Human brains love to box shit up that it shouldn’t to make it easy to process and interact with until it explodes and spills out elsewhere. Being alive is messy, inconsistent, staggered, chaotic. It isn’t neat, it isn’t divisible into concise little categories to be perused and employed as desired only to be shelved again later. Anyone who says that’s how things work is fucking lying, even if they themselves believe it to be true.

I think I focus so much on the divine feminine because it’s fascinating to me. It’s something to be interested in, to think about, to believe. I killed my femininity and any inkling of wanting to enjoy it as the world made it seem dangerous. I mean at this point, I know it’s a total catch-22, damned-if-I-do-damned-if-I-don’t, etc.  situation, but during my youth I genuinely clung to the belief that femininity was bad, and if I acted like I hated it, it would maybe save me from being victim to the whims and violence of others. I think that’s because I was never taught was femininity was, if we’re being honest here. I was taught it was make-up, softness, politeness, cleanliness, purity. Vapidity, vanity, weak.

And holy fucking shit is that the wrong way to look at things when it comes to me myself. This isn’t going to be a big detour into looking at things at a societal and/or political movement, there are other people who would be able to word things  much clearer than I could in the clumsy, weak statement of ‘yeah, that shit doesn’t count to me because someone else that shouldn’t be is making money off it’. Instead, I want to focus on the idea that the divine feminine is simply what she is. That’s it. Lecture over, diary entry over, essay over. There is SPG that fits some of what I’m trying to say. The cosmos, the ocean, the internal Earth. Some plants, some rocks, some minerals. Liquid but solid, gentle as the spring breeze, harsh as a hurricane. She simply is. All at once loving and cruel, supportive and brutal, in ways that I won’t ever be able to really explain in detail. In ways that would make sense to anyone but me and maybe some stranger on the internet that happens to be nudged my way by higher forces.

She loves, while all at once being frustrated with me. She cares for me while all at once keeping her distance to force me to get to my feet on my own. There was a post circulating around the internet back in ye olden days of pagan tumblr (like…2013? 2014-ish?) that talked about not declawing your brutal gods, essentially. At the time, I couldn’t wrap my head around it truly without leaning heavily into the ‘I am an angsty, traumatized teenager that has pinhole-sight about rebelling from Catholicism’ and ignoring the actual underlying sentiment that fits well into my view of things now. It’s totally okay for some people to connect with the divine in her softer aspect, and I’m absolutely certain that’s what people might desperately need. Life can suck major ass, and being cushioned and protected with someone on your side while no one else is keeps you sticking around longer than if you fully try to lean into the way shit is for me now.

This isn’t bragging, this isn’t condescension, this isn’t passive-aggressive shaming other practices and views of things. It’s just word-vomit so I can have a record of my realizations at 9:30 on a weeknight after taking my night medication.

Feminine divinity can be clean and polished and delicate. Feminine divinity can be gentle and nurturing and sweet. But she’s also the cool, soft earth crushing corpses, the deepest depths of the ocean, the hottest supernova there ever possibly could be.  And I’m starting to lean heavily into understanding that those things both have their place in me. In my behaviors, in my interactions, in my view of my physical and internal self. I am a product of she, a vessel of she, a trinket of hers that just so happens to be corporeal in this weird, flawed flesh mecha. Lord was that a sentence I just wrote, eugh.

Anyway. This’ll be followed up eventually when I can process okay. Thanks for reading.

[emmaallegri]

Chapter 1

While entering the room, nothing could have helped me realize what I was going forward.

Maybe the fact that they called me and they weren’t supposed to know I even existed. 

The echo of my steps is clear as this room. It’s all white here: the ceiling, the table, even the people are wearing white suits. I’m like a black sheep, a black dot fallen by mistake and a white paper. Why do I feel so anxious? Every inch of my body is ready to turn around, run away and let my manager deal with these. They are all serious and I know my expression is not different at all. One of the first things I learned in the academy was not to show too much of what I'm thinking or feeling. Humans tend to feel superior over you if they think they know you.

I stop in front of the table, in the middle of the room, waiting for someone to say anything. They’re all quiet. Maybe they’re manichines. No, their hearts are beating. Wait.. Why can I hear so many hearts? I see 5 people in this room, but there are around 40 beating right now. Am I going crazy? No, I never fail to listen. <We’d like to make an offer, as you already know, miss..> The only person without sunglasses just talked, and I can definitely smell loyalty, sympathy and kindness. Not too bad. <You can call me ,,,,,,,>.

His glaze doesn’t change at all, making me question the fact that maybe I'm not the only one who can control his facial expression. Nobody can lie with their gaze. You can’t fake love or hate, with your eyes. 

I’ve always worked in Europe or America, so I was surprised, to say the least, when someone called me and I couldn't identify his/her identity. I’m a pretty good hacker, so obviously I found out, but I have to say these people know what they’re doing. A random person has now put a folder which seems full as his ego. Too much. While I keep waiting for someone to explain why I am here, I'm still trying to understand what type of company this is. I entered a popular record company in Seoul, but I doubt it is the real purpose of this building. 

<Your mission is really simple. We want you to protect our idols>

Wait. Hold up. Did he just say…Idols? 

My face is surely trading me, as the one I suppose to be the boss smiles. 

<We obviously know you’ve never dealt with this type of client> His smile doesn’t fade at all.

They know what? What do they know? These people keep talking about things they shouldn’t know. My face returns serious as I reply calmly <Could you excuse us? We have a lot to prepare for my next job>. I’m heading back to the door as K Blocks my steps, Whispering in my ear <They’ll pay you a lot, think about it> Seeing my unimpressed expression, he remembers the least thing i care about in my life is money, so he tries to solve the situation. <Come on, it could be fun and less stressful than other offers. At least you could see Em a little more often.> Em. He knows all my weak points. How could I abandon my lil sis when there’s this type of offer? I can’t.

[thomine]

present moments of yore : kaveh

pair: kaveh x reader info: general audiences, reader dropped out of school, modern au (laptops and devices exist), not proofread

summary: the coffee shop your family had was never empty, or at least that's what you grew up believing. with the shop now in your uneducated hands, everything it once was feels even further away... until an architect steps in.

word count: 1.3k words series: day 4 of au august 2023 / prompt: coffee shop links: work tag

A man sees Kaveh walking around the streets and instantly recognises him. Blonde hair with browned tips is a unique choice of hair style. Kaveh also has amber eyes that when stared into feels like you’re floating in a deep well of kindness.  These good qualities of him don’t just end in the physical way he presents himself. This man often frequents a coffee shop, and Kaveh graces him with the best service. When he asks for some serviettes, the kind gentlemen would get up from his corner in the café and grant his wish, even if he was in an important meeting.

Kaveh must surely be the owner of the coffee shop down the street. It must be the result of his down-to-earth nature that he chooses to observe his business on the ground while balancing a more reliable day job—as all entrepreneurs do. Although the food is subpar plus the ambience is melancholic at times due to the lack of natural sunlight, if it is the shop of the nicest man he knows, he should visit again some time.

If only the owner of the coffee shop wore a tag, the man thinks while observing Kaveh walk down the street. It would make a proper confrontation less awkward and friendlier. By the time he solidifies his confidence to reach out, Kaveh is long gone.

The man shrugs knowing he’ll just visit the café the next day to find this kind soul. In the meantime, he shouldn’t be distracted by his main goal: he’s only on this street to lodge a complain about this architect called Kaveh who dolled his house so well his wife doesn’t listen to him and his opinions of the design anymore.

You push the chairs in, causing its rusty legs to scrap against the floor and emit a harrowing shrill. The only customer in your coffee shop winces, hands over his ears as he stares at you in disbelief.

“I thought you changed the chairs?” Kaveh asks after he clicks a button on his laptop and plucks out his earpieces. He stares at you expectantly. You twist the tablecloth in your hands, eyes averting from his.

With a shrug, you give him a weak smile. “The chairs you found are of the same model…” you explain, “but… they’re not these chairs.”

Kaveh sighs, a palm almost flying to his forehead, but he stops himself.

“You can’t run a business on your nostalgia,” he comments as he stands from his cushioned chair—sponsored by him specifically for him—to walk towards the rusty chair in question. He kneels to inspect the state of its legs, then shakes his head. “You really need to get new chairs. This could give away under any customer’s weight and you would get a bad review.”

You slump your shoulders, the weight of dead dreams rests on your shoulders.

“Are the reinforcements not working?” you ask, kneeling beside him. It seems as if you’re engaging in his criticism over your choices to keep things the way it has been for years since your family started this coffee shop, but you also just wanted to bury your head in your knees. “I paid someone to help me remove the rust… Did I get cheated off my money?”

The pity in Kaveh’s expression is enough of a confirmation you’re never going to bring back the glory of this coffee shop.

“What was the services you paid for?” He asks. He gets up and carries the chair. You try your hardest to prevent him from taking it away, but his grip on the chair is strong and stubborn. He wins the tug of war, but instead of heading out to throw it in the dumpster, he turns and hides it in the storeroom.

“The listing said they would apply this chemical of sort that could remove rust from iron. I saw the video. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes.”

Kaveh seems to be split between laughter and frustration. He places a hand on your shoulder, shaking his head as he stares at the floor like a surrendered enemy.

When he lifts his head, he holds a fragile smile.

“My friend. There is no quick and easy solution to remove rust as bad as that. The only option I can think of is using citric acid, but that would require a lot of acid.”

You feel your face scrunch up as the memory of signing away your money pops in your mind. It was your savings you were supposed to set aside for the renovation that Kaveh recommended. Giving a weak smile, you release a faint laugh.

“I guess I should not have dropped from school?” you say to ease the growing tension.

Kaveh’s eyes glisten with worry.

“Don’t say that. Your circumstances were not ideal. I would be bold to say you had no choice, and holding onto the typical dream of holding a degree would have been worse for you.” He lets go of your shoulder and stretches, remembering he had a task to complete before your old chair disturbed him. Bouncing back to his table, he plugs his earpieces back and you fade into the background for him.

You don’t mind though. For a friend you’ve only met last week, he’s quickly climbed to the position of your best friend. You’ve poured your heart to him of your haunting woes, and he generously gave ideas to rescue the dying legend relying on your unqualified ass. Whether you have the courage to take up his advice though… at least he does not push it.

As you sweep the mostly empty coffee shop, you observe a focused Kaveh. In return for his help, you have been trying to take care of him when he forgets. You’ll keep the phone he leaves when he rushes to a work-meeting to preoccupied to realise his mistake. His coffee is brewed specifically the way he likes it, no extra charge, and he gets his little corner in the coffee shop.

You stand beside him and lean in, eyes glancing over his screen. Kaveh tilts his laptop so you have a better view.

“What’s this?” you ask, pointing to a long paragraph. You can read, but the comment is filled with jargon related to Kaveh’s job that you don’t bother trying to understand parts you could. “You don’t look so pleased receiving it.”

“A bad review,” he whines, about to burst on a long rant but he grabs the drink you’ve prepared for him hours ago and chucks it down instead. You look at him confused. Bad reviews are the bane of a company, apparently. You’re not arguing about how no businesses want a bad review, but you don’t believe it’s as important as Kaveh makes it out to be sometimes. He grabs a tuff of his hair and tugs on it. “And it’s not even like I did anything to deserve this bad review,” he continues. “Look, read what he says.”

You’re apprehensive, worried you’ll pronounce the tough words wrong, and he’ll laugh at you, but Kaveh pushes and even magnifies the screen. You gulp.

“Received more than what I paid for. Sent a quote for a…” you give him a side glance as a plea for help.

“Bespoke. It means customised.”

You nod, starting again slowly.

“a bespoke living room with a sense of… hy-gi…”

You cover your face, not wanting to continue this road of embarrassment. Kaveh’s laughter—genuine this time, loud and strong—doesn’t help.

“Okay, I asked too much of you,” he says as he draws his laptop back to him. “The comment basically says I did a good job. Exceeded limitations to the point he doesn’t want to admit that he held me with such low regard.” He clicks his tongue and crosses his arms. “These people… don’t ever let them pull you down with them, get it?”

You nod, a little amazed and confused how the conversation led to him nagging. But whatever strings fate pulled, you’re just glad at least you’re not alone in this coffee shop.

author's note: i was very tired when writing this so i was surprised this surpassed 1k words.

[outtakesfrommars]

Love Letter

My pretentious, gay ass chose “Love Letter” by Slyvia Plath as the centerpiece for this disaster. Because my own words aren’t enough, I need to drag someone else’s into this too.

Sorry, Sylvia.

I sneak into my mom’s office and print it out with my heart pounding in my throat. If she comes in and asks what I’m doing, I’m done for. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but I would quite literally die.

I get my poem printed with no interruptions and hurl myself back up the stairs, only stopping to breathe once my bedroom door is firmly shut behind me. This is ridiculous. I settle down at my desk, take a deep breath, and wonder what the hell I’m actually doing.

No one’s ever going to see this besides Zara, and she wants nothing to do with me anyway, so what do I have to lose?

Everything, screams the little voice in my head. Absolutely everything and then some. What you have now is good. You go to school, pine hopelessly over Zara from a distance, then come home. She knows nothing, and you keep your dignity. Everybody’s happy.

But I’m not happy, am I?

Every day it’s the same routine. I have conversations with Zara in my head that are never really going to happen, fall more and more in love with some idealized version of her I’m not even sure exists, and sink further into this hopeless pit of despair and disgust with myself with no chance of ever getting out.

I can’t call myself a fly on the wall because flies actually move. They buzz around, bashing into windows and landing on food and generally being obnoxious. I’m not even taking up space. I barely exist.

That needs to change. Not because I’m looking to get something inspiring and profound out of my life, but because this stagnance is going to drive me insane if I don’t do something.

That “something” doesn’t need to be this. There are a million other self-destructive things I could be doing right now that would have smaller consequences than this. I could go spend all my money on useless things I don’t need, like holographic dinosaur stickers. I could eat an entire package of Oreos all by myself and then moan about feeling sick. I could cut my hair. I could take a page out of Nora’s book and dye it bright pink.

Anything would be better than this, but my mind is made up.

This poem is one of my favourites, I write. It’s always made me think of you because—

Hold up, that’s creepy as fuck. Who sits around reading poetry and thinking about people they don’t even talk to?

Me, apparently. But Zara doesn’t need to know that.

I scratch that line out.

This poem illustrates the beauty of—

Alright, now I sound like I’m writing an English essay. Mrs. Wallace would probably eat this up. Too bad it’s my ego on the line instead of a letter grade.

I try explaining the poem and its relevance a few more times, each more cringe and pretentious than the last, then I rip my paper to shreds.

I don’t mean to do it, my hands just start moving, pulling apart my paper until it makes a little mountain on the desk in front of me. I’m supposed to be a writer, putting my deepest confession into words shouldn’t be this difficult, but forming sentences is worse than pulling teeth when you know what’s coming in the aftermath.

Humiliation. Ridicule. Probably a twelve hour panic attack.

I groan and rest my head on the pile of paper like it’s the pillow on my deathbed, my final breath stirring a few pen smeared scraps to the floor.

This is impossible.

[ykwrites]

Earning power- Draken x reader

Pairing: Draken x fem!reader.

Warnings: Mentions and descriptions of violence(not directed towards reader or Draken, but other people) blood mentioned, sex scenes, mature themes, fingering, penetration, light choking.

Rating: NSFW mdni

Summary: y/n had a plan, a plan to kill kisaki and then take over every gang in Tokyo. She wanted to do it alone, but Draken had a different plan, and he was her only weakness. In this fic everyone is around 27-28, Toman is run by Mikey alone and Kisaki has another gang with Hanma as his sidekick.

MASTERLIST

NOTE: I’m sorry this doesn’t have a “read more” link, but my phone decided today was not the day to put it. ALSO I didn’t proofread and this is so bad but I was bored so there u go.

A tense, low murmur filled the air. Everyone around you talked to themselves, careful not to express more than they had to.

The huge meeting room was crowded with gang members, all expectantly wating for you to speak, Hanma being the only one brave enough to analyze your demeanor while you walked towards the spot next to him, right where everyone could see and hear you properly.

Before speaking, you looked at your hands, now clean of the red liquid that stained them a couple hours ago.

You cleared your throat, every sound ceasing right after.

“Kisaki is no longer with us” that sentence cut right through the silence.

Hanma didn’t gasp or screamed like everyone else, but visibly jumped on his seat.

“From now on, I’m in charge”you kept your chin up, calmly sitting down where Kisaki used to and visibly annoyed at the unamused reaction from your new subordinates “Any complaints?”

“Yeah!”a loud, raspy voice dared to scream “What is a little girl like you going to do if we don’t fucking want you as a leader?”

Trying to appear calm, you searched through the crowd, eyes landing on one of Kisaki’s favorite dogs.

“I don’t have to do anything, you are the ones who can’t choose”

“We want Hanma to take over!”another lowlife pitched in.

A quick gaze to your right was enough for Hanma not to join their request.

He was the only one aware of your plans from the very beginning, and he let it happen, didn’t help you but didn’t stop it either.

“She is the leader now, shut the fuck up”simple as that, sin and punishment responded.

“What happened to kisaki? You expect us to accept this shit just because she said so?”

“Kisaki is dead, I thought that was clear”you explained “and don’t act all upset now, you hated him”

“Shouldn’t you be crying? His little girlfriend”

“The y/n you met for a year never existed, it was all a plan to kill him” you stood up, slowly walking around the room with your arms crossed and looking at every single one of the men directly on the eyes, taking in their shock and disbelief “I guess not everyone is surprised, maybe I was too obvious?” finally, the first one who complained was inches away from your face “It’s an overused plot, I know, but it worked” venom was almost visible in your words “anyway, better times are coming, money and power for me, but for all of you too”

It was obvious that man didn’t argue back right there, because Hanma backed you up just minutes ago, and he feared him.

What he didn’t understand, is that he shouldn’t fear him, but you.

“You can leave, have a drink in Kisaki’s memory or simply celebrate his death, I don’t care”

For a moment, no one moved, until Hanma’s voice echoed loudly.

“You fucking heard her, go!”he said banging on the table in front of him as he stood up.

They finally started to react, walking out of the room in small groups.

“Stay for a moment, will you?”with a fake smile, you pointed for the complainer to sit down “You too, Shuji, it will be two seconds”

Hanma rolled his eyes but sat down in the same spot he was before, hand pinching his forehead.

“I noticed you are uncomfortable with the changes” you told the stupid guy in front of you, still with a fake cordial tone.

“You want me to tell you what I fucking think?”he spat, you nodded “I will be the only one saying it, but every bastard out there is going to either ignore your shit or kill you, you will never be the leader”

“Oh, I know, that’s why I have Shuji with me” smiling, you gave Hanma a little wink “But I need more intelligent, capable men beside me, you want the job?”

“Really?” He bursted out laughing, almost falling off the chair “What do I gain from that?”

“Whatever you want”

“I’d rather die, bitch”

“Come on, everyone has a price”

“Well, I can think of something”

That look on his eyes you knew well, men were all the same, disgusting.

Hanma cleared his throat, uncomfortably shifting on his seat for the third time that day, extremely aware of how you would react at the next sentence.

“I want 25% of all the money we get and I get to fuck you like a slut every time I want to”

There it was, too obvious.

“I usually wouldn’t accept”you calmly made your way behind him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and leaning down to speak directly in his ear “but that offer is way too…tempting”

Cut.

“Jesus fucking christ! At least warn me or something!” Hanma screamed.

The table was painted a bright red, pooling and falling all over a dead man, from his throat all the way to a small river on the floor.

“Yeah, next time I’ll tell you, we should have a code word so you know when it will happen”sarcastically, you laughed, taking out a gray silk tissue and cleaning the small knife “you think a gun would’ve been less messy?”

“Maybe, I don’t fucking know”he responded, tired of your bullshit.

At least you found him amusing, even when he was pissed.

“Well, can’t change it now”you shrugged, looking at your wrist watch “Tell someone to clean this, I have an important meeting in like an hour”

“This can’t be cleaned in just an hour”he took out his phone, texting whoever was going to clean “who’s coming?”

“Guess”you playfully said, moving your eyebrows up and down.

“You know what? I don’t care”

“Ouch” a fake pout appeared on your lips “you want to know this one, trust me”

“Just spill it”

“An old friend of yours, Mikey”

“You have to be fucking kidding, the leader of our rival gang?”

“Shh, don’t curse in front of the dead guy, it’s disrespectful”

“Y/n, you know Mikey won’t be as easy to kill as this asshole, and you can’t beat him in a fight”

“Why would I kill a business partner?”

“Again, are you fucking kidding?”

“You know I’m not”

Hanma’s little fuss was to be expected, so it didn’t affect your mood at all. Even if he didn’t want to, he would end up understanding.

The level of power you wanted wasn’t free of sacrifice, Sano was the best option to get there fast, and with Kisaki now out of the picture, everything was supposed to go your way.

As requested, the meeting room was cleaned quick, every gang member was able to look inside and see it happen, it sent a very clear message on where they needed to stand.

“Y/n” Hanma called you, peeking his head in “He’s here”

“Let him in”

Your eyes expected to see the small, long haired boy you had seen before, with that stupid long jacket on. However, a tall figure bowed lightly in a short, deep voiced greeting.

Ken Ryuguji

You almost make a huge mistake, but Hanma’s presence right behind him made you stop and rethink how the whole interaction would go.

“I didn’t expect you”you said, the air instantly heavy when your eyes finally met.

“Mikey didn’t want to deal with Kisaki”careful but still stoic, Draken examined the room before sitting in front of you “Or with you”

He was too close, always too close.

“Well, Kisaki is sadly gone”you fixed your hair in a nervous tic.

Draken’s eyes shoot open, leaning back on the chair as if to keep his distance from you and Hanma.

“And you are in charge now?”the blonde pointed at your companion, who responded shaking his head no.

“I am”you interrupted “That’s why I wanted to speak with Mikey about… some business”

Squinting his eyes, Ryuguji analyzed both yours and Hanma’s expressions and seemed to get lost in thought for a minute before he did what you already knew he was going to do.

“You can talk business with me, I’ll tell Mikey everything”he started “but he has to leave, I don’t see the point in him being here”

“No fucking way”quickly, Shuji complained.

“Get out, it’s okay, this guy is not dumb enough to kill me right now”

“Whatever you want, your majesty”he mocked, leaving the room right after.

Silence followed the click of the door closing, eyes fighting a war that words couldn’t. This scenario you hadn’t planned or expected, because meeting with Draken always had another context, away from all the gang stuff.

“You finally did it”Draken finally spoke, his demeanor still tense but familiar at the same time.

“Yeah, it was bound to happen”you responded, your tone putting distance between you two.

“Was it hard?”

“Not really”

“It took you two years, you must be glad it ended”

“I guess… but let’s talk about what we have to, business”

Draken didn’t respond but stood up, clicking his tongue and slowly walking around the table. Step by step he got closer, leaving your mouth dry.

Always too close, always the only one who could intimidate you.

You instinctively rised from your seat when he was just mere inches away from your figure, very short in comparison.

“Why are you speaking to me like that?”he said in a low voice

“Like what?”you asked, gulping but trying to keep your composure.

“Like you don’t fucking know me, like we are strangers”

“Now it’s not the time for games, Ken”

Lost in his raged eyes, you hadn’t noticed his arms moving until a warm hand rested on your waist and the other on your face.

“I hate it, you know that”

You couldn’t respond, his lips pressing on yours was way more important than you complaining. His gentle touch getting rougher by the second when your tongues met.

“Is he really gone?”he broke the kiss, but not the proximity.

“Yeah”you whispered.

“Good”slowly, he caressed your face and then made random patterns with his fingers until he reached your neck, hand stopping there like a beautiful necklace “Now that bastard can’t ever touch you again, mhm?”light pressure squeezed your neck, and he captured your lips before continuing “I like that, not sharing you”

“Who said I will keep seeing you after today?”

If you were one thing, it was stubborn and a brat, and Draken knew it. Still, he shut his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply to calm himself down.

He wasn’t angry, but upset.

“Come on, there’s nothing to hide anymore, we can show them who you belong to”he wasn’t demanding, he pleaded “who I belong to”

His words alone sent shivers down your spine, Draken had always been the one who liked to communicate, solve your problems with words and simply tell you how he was feeling.

He was a light in the muddy, violent world you both lived in.

“I don’t have an owner, Ken, I’m not a fucking dog”

“Come on”he said, taking a step back, exhasperated “Be honest with yourself, with that bastard out of the picture, we can do whatever we want”

“What about Mikey? You know I want his gang too”

“Mikey is tired of both being a leader and this stupid rivalry with you, I can make him trust you”

“Mikey is your best friend, you sure you want to choose between me and him?”

“I don’t have to, he can be the public face while you rule”

“I’ll think about it”

Draken lit up, a glimpse of hope beaming on his eyes before he kissed you again, hungrily aching for some kind of contact.

It pissed you off how much control he gained over you with mundane affection, you never rejected a kiss. It pissed you off how his hands sneakily rubbed right under the curve of your ass, lifting you on the table like you weighed less than paper and it definitely pissed you off that such stupid acts made you impossibly wet and desperate.

“Let me help you think about it”he devoured your lips, biting the sensitive flesh and placing a tentative hand on your right inner thigh, touching the edge of your black shorts.

You let him do what he wanted, but kept a bit of pride not touching him back, at least you tried, because your hand flew to touch his chest when you felt his thumb pressing directly on your clit through layers of fabric. Soaked, a faint moan escaping you and a chuckle escaping him.

“Don’t you feel better knowing it doesn’t matter if someone sees this right now?”he mumbled out of breath and in between hungry kisses to your neck “Even if your stupid subordinates see us fucking, there’s nothing they can do about it”

“Shut up, Ken”you argued, mad at the pressure put on your sensitive bud. Also mad you wanted more.

“I do feel better”promptly ignoring your words, he left your clit for a second “take them off, will you?”

“Why are you so annoying?”alas, you complied, sliding off your shorts and underwear, all while being observed like prey.

“Why are you so wet?”he mocked, hand on you again, ring finger tracing your folds slowly.

For a second, you almost begged, but stood your ground and kissed him without warning, wich he accepted eagerly, finally inserting a finger in, groaning when he felt you clench around him.

“I’ll move it if you respond to a question”

This fucker knew your body, so keeping quiet wasn’t a good idea, he was absolutely capable of edging you for hours.

“Whatever”you spat, impatient.

“Why can’t you accept that I like you so much, huh?”

The question sounded serious and playful at the same time, finger buried deep in your cunt and eyes glued to your face. He always had the same fucking questions.

“We’ve talked about this”you managed to speak, the tension killing you.

“That’s not an answer, baby”he kissed you again, aggressively “You know I am so fucking in love with you, accept it”

“Shut up”

“Oh”despite what he said before, he moved his finger, painfully slow “I can’t do that, because I want you to admit you love me too”

“In your dreams, Ken”

Draken laughed almost manically, bending the digit inside you and using his thumb on your clit at the same time, making sure to torture you.

He did this every time, demanding love, obsessed with the idea of what he deemed the perfect couple, and you were sure Kisaki’s death made him feel like he won the lottery, not having to share you any more.

“I’m sure this is not enough” he spoke lowly in your ear, drunk on the pleasured, lewd sounds you made “I know you want my dick inside you so bad”

This time, you couldn’t argue back, because he hit the sweet spot and your head fell back in a frenzie, a small knot of pressure forming inside you like a waterfall about to burst, your hand holding his wrist for dear life, nails digging in.

“Ken” involuntarily, you moaned.

“You want to cum on my fingers or my dick?, choose”

He sounded ravenous, starved, extremely amused.

“Hng!”that was the response you managed to utter, because his movement’s didn’t stop and his finger kept brushing your gspot without mercy.

“I’ll choose for you then”

A sudden emptiness and cold air hit your core, and you couldn’t help but pout, disappointed and enraged that he stopped right before your release.

“Your face is cute”Draken smiled, pecking your lips “Turn around, beautiful”

And so you did, your legs trembling when your feet met the floor. Draken helped you, holding your hips until he had you bent over the table with your boobs flat against it, ass in full display for him.

“This is my favorite thing, although I like seeing your face when I fuck you”

Warm lips left a wet kiss on your lower back, and the familiar click of his belt buckle and zipper filled your ears.

Impatiently, you raised your hips, standing on your tippy toes, Draken taking the chance to slap your ass and swipe his hand flat down your pussy, dampening his fingers to stroke his dick, lubing it.

Hands squeezed hard on your hips, probably leaving a bruise. You couldn’t care less if he marked you, because obviously, right after the feeling of him deliciously stretching you out made you forget everything else.

“So tight”he groaned, thrusting in and out relentlessly.

Your moans could be heard loud and clear accompanied by Draken’s growls and skin slapping wet, so much so that for a split moment, you hoped that Shuji didn’t decide to stay right outside the meeting room. If he did then for sure he was hearing everything.

As always, Draken took his sweet ol time making sure you felt every vein and detail of his cock inside you, moving to find the spot that would make your head spin, roughly leaving a spank or two in between praises.

“Fuck”you moaned, almost holding in a whole scream when his tip pushed your favorite spot.

“You want to cum? Mhm?”his voice sounded mean, controlling, fucking hot.

“Plea…” a hard thrust interrupted, tears filling your eyes with overstimulation “Yes!”

“Huh”out of breath, he suddenly stopped, still inside you but not moving.

You swore you could have killed him right there, because he purposely denied your orgasm for the second time that day.

“Let’s do it a different way”his hips swayed back an forth, so slow and romantic that everything he did before looked like hard porn.

You cursed between your teeth, needy like a bitch in heat and burning in anger.

“Admit that you love me and I will let you cum”

“I fucking ha…” hard thrust, again, interrupting.

“Sorry, love” Draken mocked, lovingly caressing your ass “I couldn’t quite hear what you said”

“Shut…”another deep thrust “ugh, fuck you!”

“Come on”he teased, leaning over to kiss your back, not turning up his speed at all “You can do it, beautiful”

It was him, always him, whom with stupid and useless words had you on the palm of his hand and used how much he turned you on as an advantage to get his way.

And yes, you did love him, truly, however, things got complicated and weird, because at first he was just another rando you casually fucked and after some time you fell for him. Kisaki you obviously pretended you loved, everyone around bought it, but in reality you met Draken by mistake and saw him in hidden, private places.

Also, you were so stubborn, and he had to work hard for you to tell him you loved him back, like he was doing right now.

“Anything to say?”he pushed, impatient.

“I… ugh, I love you”you finally complied, between tired moans.

“That’s my girl”

Your brain instantly fogged up, unable to comprehend the speed and roughness he managed to perform in the span of a second, tired, overstimulated but oh so happy to feel your release getting closer and closer.

Like a true, beautiful master, Draken made sure to make you cum, marking your body and moaning with you, not ashamed to be heard either.

Not long after, you felt your pussy clenching around him and unleashing a perfect orgasm, and upon hearing and feeling your release, Draken finally let loose and slipped out of you to let his load fall on your back, delighted at the sight.

Out of breath, you didn’t move for a bit, resting in place until you felt soft fabric cleaning your back and turned around to see him. He had used his jacket.

“You look good like this”he said, love sparkling on his eyes while you both got dressed.

“Shut up”you responded, smiling.

“Nah, let me tell my girl how cute she is”

“Your girl?”

“Are you not?”he raised a brow, pecking your lips.

“Whatever, I might be”

“So you are!”a beautiful laugh escaped him.

“If that makes you happy…”

You played with him, but he knew.

“You thought about it?”

“About what?”you asked, confused.

“Mikey”

“I still have to think about it” you responded, when in reality, you knew the answer from the very moment Draken stepped in the room.

[theroomofreq]

can you give me muggle jily recs pleaaseeee <3 :D

HOW MANY HIGH-QUALITY MUGGLE JILY FICS ARE THERE?? TOO MANY TO COUNT. *cracks knuckles* BUT I am here for the challenge. Jily AUs are my JAM.

Again, shoutout to our amazing @jilyarchive friends who tag every wonderful muggle jily au they come across. here is the link that will take you to their tags page. You'll find links to specific tropes and AUs :')

I've searched through my own AO3 bookmarks and history tabs, and I present to you 28 jily muggle fics that I LOVE. I am THRILLED thinking about all the good things in store for those that read these wonderful stories. This list took me ages to make because I went through and reread most of these brilliant fics. Happy reading !! xx

properly improper by @lizardcookie

“Marry me,” Mr. Potter repeats, closing the distance between them by striding back up towards the sofa, only to stop and crouch to one knee right there at her feet, looking up at her. Burning. “Pick me,” he elaborates. “Pick me, choose me, love me instead.”

- this fic is the reason why I comment the way that I do (spoiler it's because it's amazing)

The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl

What is undeniably worse than attending your sister's wedding looking as desolate and forgotten as a wilted houseplant? Drunkenly ringing your ex-boyfriend and asking him to be your date.

- SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY AT THE PERFECTION

Oh my god, they were ROOMMATES by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world

Silly one-shot, Muggle AU with Fem!Jily as pining roommates and Marlene as their matchmaker.

- the fic that brought me back to jily and inspired my deep obsession of fem!jily

Swipe Right, Swing Left by @downn-in-flames

The unspoken rule of using dating apps in D.C. is that you always start with where you work.

James Potter, it seems, never picked up on that one.

- giddy just thinking about this gem

'Tis the Damn Season by @petalstofish

It doesn't feel like Christmas for Lily Evans, not after losing her parents to COVID before the Holiday season. She anticipates spending Christmas all alone until a boy from her past shows up and offers her a mutually benefiting deal that has her calling him 'babe' just for the weekend. 'Tis the damn season, after all.

- cries in respect for lyrical writing

Watch Me Unwind by @maraudersftw

Lily Evans hates her job, hates the bigoted customers she has to serve as a bartender at the richest club in the city. But the one person who makes bearing all of it worth it has someone else in his arms tonight. (Rated: M)

- obsessed with the way the plot jumps around the time line in this

oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic

Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.

- YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FAB THIS IS

a matchmaking mission by @downn-in-flames

James Potter has a mission: get Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to finally admit that they both fancy the pants off each other by Valentine's Day.

His partner in crime? Lily Evans, Remus' flatmate, who he also happens to be slightly in love with

- DOUBLE the amount of pining idiots in love :")

about time by @jilyss

'sure, yeah, I can accompany you to that black tie event for your work tonight. wait. why are we on a red carpet?'

- this is my emotional comfort fic, your honor

whiskey business by @elanev91

Sirius Black has a (bad?) habit of picking up hobbies that take over his and James' flat -- this most recent one? Homemade vodka that James now has to try and peddle to everyone in the building.

- hysterical! must read!

Fashion Disaster by @maraudersftw

James Potter is roped into an awful dare by his best-mate, which involves him wearing atrocious pieces of clothing for all days until Christmas as dictated by Sirius. If this wasn't terrible enough, he now has to contend with his maddening crush on the beautiful saleswoman at the clothing store.

- classic hijinks that I live for

it wasn't a pity invite by @elanev91

Part of the December "Winter Tropes" Jily challenge. Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omG i’m so sorry

- awkward Christmas date that owns my heart

spice and honey by @clare-with-no-i

tagging along with her food reporter sister to profile James Potter, London's hottest young chef, is not how Lily Evans pictured her Monday going - especially if he's anything like Petunia’s described.

needless to say, she's in for a whirlwind at Chez Maraudeur.

- I'm one re-read away from printing this out and putting it on my bookshelf.

Waffle Wars by @elanev91

There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.

- the witty narration in this fic can not be matched

You Can Hear It In The Silence by @alrightginger

Lily is non-verbal and deaf in a world where the things your soulmate says about you end up written on your skin. She has known about her soulmate since she was seven, but knows they don't have a clue she exists and possibly never will.

- exquisite, cue me sobbing forever

out the window by @displayheartcode

A new family moves to Ottery St Catchpole.

- everything I could ever want in a fic, forever in my mind rent free

The Christmas Guest by @thegodmachine

An Evans Family Christmas: Petunia is bringing her fiancé and Lily is bringing her…Friend…

- petunia pov that gives me WINGS

Football, Calculus, and Cappuccinos by @moonawrites

At eighteen years old, James Potter has a lot going on. He's a rising star navigating the politics of professional football, the pitfalls of sudden fame, the fallout from choosing his dream over his father's company... and a serious crush on the red headed new barista at his favourite coffee shop.

- I'm still working my way through this fic, but trust me when I say its a GEM

if u like pina coladas by @zephyrcove

Lily is desperate for a date to Petunia's wedding, James has been pining, and their friends meddle ;)

- explain to me how characters can be so perfect via texting fics?

Shelf Awareness by @ghostofbambifanfiction

It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there.

- you absolutely must know that I binge read this and then immediately REREAD it

How to win a witch in 10 days by @adenei

“She’s going to find some unsuspecting wizard, get him to fall for her, and then do all the things that turn men away to get him to break things off! Won’t it be the best way to see what witches do that drives men crazy?” But what happens when the man in question is a blast from Lily Evans's past? A Jily Magical AU based on the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

- fic based off of a rom com? YES PLZ :’)

The Fight Before Christmas by @ghostofbambifanfiction

The heartwarming Christmas tale of Lily Evans and James Potter - two plucky kids who hated one other, until the day they really, really didn't.

- complete sucker for this one

All This Time by @thejilyship

James and Lily grew up next door to one another. Their bedroom windows giving them glimpses into the others life, and also offering prime opportunities to argue with each other over every little thing. They never figured out how to be friends when they were kids, but now that they've graduated from college and are home for the summer, they have a second chance to get things right.

- one of my favvvv tropes

Let Me Love You by @thejilyship

With only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter.

- cries in princess diares AU

The Fabulous Baker Brothers by @frustratedpoetwrites

Lily walks a different route home from work and stumbles upon a cute little Bakery with an even cuter baker in the window.

- yes yes yes to embarrassed pining.

Marigold Mornings by @mppmaraudergirl

This is a fun game she thinks, as she removes her hand from his side and reaches up to run it down his chest.  He catches her hand in his own, takes a step forward so that her nose nearly brushes against his shirt. She can feel the heat radiating off of him—or maybe it’s from her. He licks his lips and her eyes are drawn to the motion.  She knows it is a bad idea, absolutely knows it.

- incredible storytelling featuring dynamic characters :') a favvv

Welcome to Pettyville by@women-inthe-sequel @alrightginger

When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?

- LOVE SQUARE ANYONE

The Kiss a Stranger Project by @alrightginger

“What’s your name, then?” she asks, realizing they haven’t even properly introduced themselves yet. She nervously crosses her arms.

You shouldn’t kiss a guy without knowing his name first.

Right?

- THIS ONE WILL LIVE IN MY MIND FOREVER

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

So anyway I’ve made up a friend group for Mae for the second season because she deserves one. 

Friend one, who let’s call Virgil, is the son of Suzanne’s mom and step father, who is around Mae’s age and Suzanne didn’t know he existed. Virgil heard he had a half sister and wanted to move away from his dad, so now he’s here. I feel like Virgil is a very apathetic person, used to disassociating when his dad gets violent. In the show it kind of seemed like Mae was very distrustful of men, so when this guy shows up trying to live with Suzanne she is going to be very unhappy. Cue wacky shenanigan's of Mae trying to get Virgil to leave and Virgil handling it with such ease, acting like nothing unusual even happened. Then Virgil will probably be direct, as he’s probably a very direct person, and Mae is forced to have a very open and honest relationship, which she is very not used to. But Virgil is so unjudging, to the point where it’s kind of worrying, she talks to him, and he talks to her, and they end up bonding. I think maybe Mae learns how to express how she feels better through Virgil, learning she doesn’t have to take such drastic measures, like going to die and see if anyone comes for you.

Friend two, who we’ll call Owen, who has been paid by the cult to befriend Mae, spy on her, and help bring her back or something along those lines. They picked Owen because they needed someone Mae wouldn’t recognize from the cult, and Owen agreed because he is in desperate need of money, as his dad tends to gamble all their money away. Owen’s got a temper, resulting in not having a lot of friends, so in hindsight he really did not know how he was going to befriend Mae. But Mae is desperate for any sort of human connection, so she goes along with his very clumsy attempts. I feel like maybe at some point his temper flares, and it triggers a reaction in Mae that he feels bad about, so he explains to her that if he gets mad that’s his own damn fault, and she shouldn’t worry about it, and that if she doesn’t want to befriend someone like him then she doesn’t have to. She does want to be his friend, but I think maybe Mae has this thing where she’s so concerned about people leaving her, but Owen made her think that maybe people both need to want to be friends and if it’s right for them. And of course, major angst when it’s revealed Owen had been working with the cult, even though as time went on Owen actually found he liked Mae and their friend group a lot.

And friend three, who we’ll call Izzy, is a fellow cult survivor, but not the same one as Mae’s. Maybe they met on like a one off cult survivor support group thing, but Izzy and Mae ended up spending more time together. Izzy probably got into the cult when her parents joined when she was little, and it was one of those ‘the world is ending’ ones. Izzy has some major trust issues, contrasting Mae’s eagerness to be close. But they do end up close, and they share some of their traumatic cult stories with each other. I think maybe this will help Mae realize that her cult wasn’t special, that there are others like it and maybe that will help her distance herself from the cult’s teachings.

It doesn't have to be like this, but I would like for Mae to find healthy relationships with other people and not just stick with the Mathis’s.

[ivywing]

A snippet written in an hour for @trashyourash involving her OC, Aska, escaping Belos and running to the human world in a what-if scenario.

Aska races through the halls of the Castle, clutching her stomach. It won’t be long until Kikimora makes it back to Belos with the news. She loves her Emperor, well and truly, but if he finds out she’s with his child, he’ll-

She doesn’t want to think about what he’ll do.

It isn’t until she hears a child’s laugh in her ears that she realizes how deep she’s in. The lights are dim, and the wind whistles around her in the vast catacombs.

“I missed you!” the voice squeals. The ghost child melts out of the shadows, grinning widely. “Ready to play with me?”

“Not today,” Aska laughs mirthlessly. “I’m in lots of trouble. If Belos finds me, he’ll- he’ll kill me.”

The child tilts their head. “Well, that’s no good. Don’t worry, I’m great at hide and seek!”

Aska drops to her knees, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. “There’s nowhere in the Boiling Isles I can hide. He’ll find me, and he’ll kill me for failing him. Me, and my baby.”

“Your baby?” the child asks. They glance around the catacombs. “I don’t see a baby. Where are you hiding it? Why not hide with it?”

“The baby’s in me right now,” Aska explains.

The child nods. “Well, you can’t hide in yourself. Hmm.” They float around the room a few times, before snapping their fingers. “I know! That lady Belos is mad at for existing is supposed to have a portal out of here! If you hide across the portal, you’ll win for sure!”

Aska pauses. It was a long shot. The Owl Witch was capricious, serving her own whims and known to be tricksy, but if she could convince the woman to listen, she might have a ghost of a chance. “That- that could work. I’ll go, then.”

“Sure thing! Just promise you’ll come back and play again, okay?” The child holds out their pinky, but Aska isn’t sure.

“I don’t know if I can, sweetie. If Belos sees me again, who knows how he’ll react?” She brushes a bit of hair behind her ear. “I’ll try to see you again, but I can’t promise it if I don't know whether I can keep that promise.”

The child pouts. “Fine.” They point down a darkened corridor. “If you run as fast as you can, you’ll make it out of here before Belos even knows the game’s begun. Be careful, and I’ll see you soon!”

Aska smiles and gets to her feet. Wiping tears from her eyes, she raises her hand in a high-five which the child accepts. “Be safe, sweetie. And thank you for playing with me.”

---

“You want what now?”

Aska winces. “Please, Owl Lady, I don’t have any other choice.”

The Owl Witch glares at Aska over her cup of apple blood. On her shoulder sits a tiny demon child, whose wagging tail betrays his excitement. The Owl Lady takes another long drink of her apple blood before setting the mug on the table. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t throw you out.”

Aska swallows around the bile in her throat. “If I’m still on the Boiling Isles by sundown, the Emperor is going to kill me.”

“Not my problem,” the Owl Witch grunts.

“I don’t have much money, but whatever I have- it’s yours.”

“I’m not falling for that trick again.” The Owl Witch stands, shaking out her joints. “Hooty!”

The bird tube who’d let her in stretches over. “Hoot hoot! I’m here!”

Eda jerks a thumb at Aska. “Get her out of here beforw Luz gets back. I don't want her seeing this.”

NO! Aska drops to her knees, grabbing at the Owl Lady’s dress in desperation. “Please, I have to get out of the Boiling Isles!”

The Owl Witch glares at her, prying her hands off. “What in Titan’s name could be so bad-”

“I’m pregnant.”

The room goes silent. The demon child’s tail goes still, and even the bird tube- Hooty, was it?- looks at her carefully. After a few moments, the Owl Lady speaks. “Who’s the father?” When Aska doesn’t answer, she inhales at the realization. “Wow. You really did screw up, huh?”

The demon child tilts his head. “I don’t get it. Why not stay with the Emperor? Surely he’d want to keep his baby nearby.”

Eda sucks on her teeth. “A man like that? She’s better off never seeing him again.” She pulls Aska to her feet. “Fine. Give me a minute. But if this is a trap, I’m eating you alive.”

Aska can’t help it, breaking down into relieved sobs. She curls up into herself on the couch, letting exhaustion seep through her bones as the terror and panic she’s been carrying inside of her wash away. She’s safe. Her baby is safe. They’re going to be okay.

The Owl Lady flicks her forehead. "Don't tell anyone I did this, alright? This is a one-time thing."

Aska nods. "I understand. Thank you, Owl Lady, thank you so much."

"Just call me Eda." Eda unfolds the portal and, with a click of the key, the door swings open, glowing a brilliant white. "And try not to get caught, alright?"

"I won't," Aska promises, standing up straight. She takes a deep breath, thinks of the life she could have had, and steps into the other world.

[yutahoes]

Thunder

main characters: childhood enemies!? Yuta Nakamoto and Y/N other characters: brother! Lee Taeyong word count: 2.2k words genre: fluff summary: You hated Yuta Nakamoto all your life.  warnings: crotch kicking, Yuta is shirtless in one part, Y/N is in a diet, Y/N is scared of thunder, Yuta teasing Y/N about her chest, cursing inspired by the anime ‘Ouran Highschool Host Club’ 

Czennies’ Anime Boy Birthday Project - Day 2

You hated Nakamoto Yuta all your life. 

No, scratch that, you loathed him. 

It stemmed from when the two of you first met. He, 'accidentally' he claimed, ripped the head of your favorite Barbie doll. While you, intentionally you knew, kicked him in the crotch. It wasn't a big deal. You always see girls do that in TV but your dad had to ground you for doing that which is totally unfair. Yuta still gets to play with your brother, Taeyong, while you're inside the room when it was clearly his fault. 

And that started the cat and dog attitude you had towards each other. 

It doesn't help that your family is close to theirs. So when your family went to Japan for a vacation, the Nakamoto family welcomed you to their beach house. It was a pretty house, you thought, with an exclusive beach behind. 

This will be the best vacation. 

"Yuta!" his mom called which made you frown. Oh yeah, the devil is here. "Where is that boy? He should be helping you with your luggage, Y/N." You gave her a smile, dragging your suitcase in hand. Everything is going on smoothly, you don't want to see him just yet. "Yuta!" she called once again. 

"Yup?" He asked and you clearly heard the footsteps accompanied by that annoying voice. Your jaw almost fell in surprise. Yuta's hair is damp as if he just came from a swim. His bare skin lightly tanned. "Oh, hi auntie and uncle." He greeted your parents before walking past you. When did he get taller than you? He gave Taeyong a brotherly hug which made you pout. 

Your dad laughed. "When did you get so masculine, Yuta?"

"Had to charm the girls in town," Yuta whispered which made you frown once again. A ladies’ man. Why aren’t you surprised?  You felt someone tugged the suitcase in your hand and turned to see Yuta smiling at you. "You're still ugly as ever." he whispered, which made you throw a punch at him. Yuta only laughed. When did his arms become muscular?  

"When will the two of you ever change?" Your mom asked, followed by the others laughing. 

-----

"Yuta, why don't you tour Y/N and Taeyong in town this afternoon?" his dad asked while they're eating lunch. He nodded then lightly glanced at you who were eating small portions of your food. His attention was disturbed when your dad asked some questions about his college education and his recent hobbies which he answered eloquently. 

Taeyong took his dad's car keys to drive to town, Yuta in the passenger seat and you in the backseat. "Y/N," your brother called. "Stop thinking about your ex-boyfriend. This was supposed to be a vacation." You glared at your brother through the rearview mirror. 

"Ex-boyfriend?" Yuta asked. "Someone actually had a crush on you?" 

You gave him a fake smile before rolling your eyes, crossing an arm against your chest while huffing. "Can we get something to eat? I want some matcha cake and macaroons." 

"Are you pregnant?" You only kicked Taeyong's chair in annoyance. 

The market in town isn't that crowded even if it's afternoon. Maybe because the weather is too dry to stroll. Taeyong said that he'll just go to the comfort room, leaving the two of you looking for souvenirs. You already bought a lot of stationery yet your brother didn't come back. "Do you think he ditched us?" Yuta asked while you’re paying for the things you bought. 

"Probably." You answered with a shrug. "We can get a cab back home, can't we?" The guy nodded before opening the door for you. 

You were just enjoying the market, not caring about Yuta. Luckily, your parents had given you money to spend. Maybe you'll buy small gifts for your friends back home. Your attention was on some bracelets when Yuta told you to come with him. Although hesitant, you just went with him. 

The pastry shop looks so pretty with its pastel shades. The pictures in the menu look so delectable that you're quickly hungry. "Order a lot, you didn't eat properly earlier," Yuta claimed, looking at the menu. "Are you on a diet or something?" 

You glared. "Yeah, yeah. My ex broke up with me saying I'm fat so I'm trying to lose weight." 

"Then you're dating the wrong guy. It's your body, he shouldn't care." He turned the menu to look at the cake selections. "Eat lots and be a cute piggy instead." You stepped on his foot which made him glare at you. 

When the waitress came, she smiled at Yuta and he flirted back. You rolled your eyes, such a ladies' man. You ordered a chocolate cake and he ordered matcha, claiming that you wanted that in the car. Well, Yuta isn't that bad. But he's annoying. 

The clouds turned darker that surprised you. It was alright earlier, why is it so gloomy now? "Do you think it will rain?" Yuta nodded, there's a high possibility. "I hope it isn't a thunderstorm." You whispered. 

You walked around one last time, buying things that you might need at home when you bumped into someone familiar. He was Yuta's friend, you remembered, the one who talked to you in the playground when Yuta refused to let you join him and his friends back then. "Y/N," he greeted and you smiled, calling for his name. "Long time no see. You've grown up." It really has been a long time since you saw him. "Are you here for vacation?" 

You nodded and made little chats with each other. When he excused himself to leave, you turned to find out that Yuta is gone. 

Fuck! Where is he? 

When you glanced at your phone, the battery was dead. Another fuck! 

The raindrops fell on your skin that made you hiss. Third fuck! 

How are you going home now? 

------

Of all the people to meet, why does it have to be that guy? Yuta knew that he had a huge crush on you and seeing how you smiled at him, you probably had a crush on that guy as well. He just went inside the store and bought some macaroons that you kept on asking for since earlier. 

When he returned to where he last saw you, you're nowhere to be seen. Maybe you went with that stupid guy. He was about to call you when he realized he didn't have your number. You're with that guy, right? He'll bring you home safely. 

The raindrops fell. Maybe he'll just stay under a shed and wait until the rain stops. But as the minutes passed, it grew heavier. 

The sky was so dark and little rumbles could be heard. A flash of lightning can be seen followed by large raindrops falling on the pavement as thunder came rolling in. A thunderstorm. He might stay here for a long time. 

Yuta was tapping his foot along the music in his headphones when his phone rang, indicating a new number. When he took the call, it was Taeyong's voice. "Where are you and Y/N? I'll come…" 

"I'm not with Y/N." 

"What?" he asked, shouting through the phone. Yuta explained that he left you with a friend but it was his mom who answered on the phone that his friend came and you were not with him. "Yuta, my sister is scared of thunder. She can't move at all when she hears thunder. Please…" Yuta doesn't need to hear the continuation, he knew he had to find you. 

He kept on running under the pouring rain, asking people he passed if they saw the girl he kept on describing. He kept on looking inside shops opened to see if you were inside. The sky is getting darker, it's almost nighttime. He needed to find you, quick. 

A flash of light came followed by rumbles of thunder that startled him. If he's surprised like this, how would you feel? Maybe you're too scared now. Where could you be? He stopped in front of the town chapel, a puddle of water can be seen by the entrance. 

Yuta ran the steps of the chapel, opening the door widely. "Y/N!" he called. "Are you here?"  A bolt of huge lightning illuminated the place, followed by a loud rumble of thunder but he heard the small whimpers coming from the altar steps. 

He stood there, watching you under the table. Eyes closed, both hands on your ear, shaking, soaking wet. Another thunder and you jolted in surprise, crying louder while calling for your dad. 

He pulled the linen above the table, wrapping it on you which made you look at him. He put the headphone on your ear as you gaze at him with tear-stained eyes. "I'm sorry, Y/N." he whispered before you wrap your arms around him, relieved that someone is here. That he is here. You flinched when the lightning struck, loud thunder echoed through the walls of the small chapel that made you clench tightly on Yuta's shirt. "I'm here now, Y/N. I won't leave you." 

----

You woke up with the sound of chirping birds outside, the sunlight hitting your face that made you groan. When you turned to the side, away from the sunlight, you felt something warm. Surprised, you opened one eye and saw Yuta's bare torso lying next to you. "Yah!" you shouted, immediately checking your clothes under the blanket then pulling it up to cover your clothed body. 

The guy rubbed his eyes, "What? It's still so fucking early." 

"Why are you sleeping in my bed?" 

He stared at you dead in the eyes. "This is my room." He stated as a matter of fact and you glance around the unfamiliar room full of L'arc En Ciel and Ultraman posters. "And you were the one who didn't let go of me last night." He claimed while lying on his bed again, groaning.  

The happenings that night came to you. When his dad and Taeyong came to pick you up in the chapel, you kept clinging on Yuta under the warm blanket in the backseat of the car. After showering, you cried in his arms in fright. Maybe, you slept like that.

God, it's so embarrassing. Why are you like this? "Nothing happened, right?" 

Yuta chuckled before pulling the blanket to cover himself. "I won't ever touch your non-existent breasts." This guy, really. You lightly kicked him off the bed, startled that instead of his thigh, you felt something hard by your foot. 

Then he disappeared from the bed. 

He stood up from falling on the floor, glaring at you. "Why do you keep kicking me there? Will you be responsible if I can't have a child?" What? "If something happens…" You heard the door open behind you, "Will you marry me?" 

A gasp can be heard followed by your mom's voice shouting, "Honey, Yuta already proposed." What? You glanced at the doorway, his mom was there with a wide smile on her face. "Oh my God, you two. We've been waiting for this for so long." 

"No, it's not…" But the door closed before you could finish your sentence. You were about to go out the door when Yuta raced you to it. He closed the door, trapping you between his body and the door. "Yuta, our parents will…" 

"Let them misunderstand," he whispered that made you look at him. "Be responsible for me. I have the biggest crush on you since we first met." 

"You broke my Barbie the first time we met." 

"Because you spend more time on that toy than playing with me." he revolted. "You only look at me when I tease you so I kept doing that." He stepped forward, removing the distance between the two of you. " Please take a chance on me, Y/N. I'll hug you during thunderstorms. I'll let you eat all your favorite food. Just please, take a chance on me." 

There's nothing wrong with taking a chance with Yuta. Both your families are friends. Your mom seemed so excited at the idea of the two of you together. And his mom already said that they've been waiting for this for so long. He's handsome, has a nice body, has a nice smile, and did you mention that he has such a nice body? You nodded and he flashed his million-dollar smile, hugging you. "Wow, you really have small breasts." You lightly pushed him, kicking him in the crotch. 

"You're really unbelievable."

Yuta crouched on the floor, repeatedly punching his lower back. "That's the third time. You'll really be responsible for me." He stood up but you opened the door and ran outside, him chasing after you. 

Your parents were both looking as you got out of the house and into the beach sand outside. He hugged you from the back, lightly raising you. "Caught you." Then proceed to throw you in the water. 

"They look really cute together." Yuta's mom commented that made the older men nod. 

"Nice job, Taeyong." your dad claimed, tapping your brother's shoulder.

The younger of the five chuckled while watching you and Yuta playing tag on the water. "I just hope they won't be too lovey-dovey." 

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 7

Y/n meets her savior and officially joins the investigation. 

@deadman-inc-bikeshop @viviace and @dovahdokren here you go. If you want to be on the tag list, send me a DM. 

Trigger warnings: dissociation, implied sex abuse/trafficking, discussions of death, drugs

It was only when the man left your line of sight that your senses started to return. And even then, you felt like you were on a separate plane of existence from everything happening around you. You were floating, completely numb to your surroundings, letting the world push you wherever it needed you to be.

You weren't entirely sure how you made it from the dumpsters to the FBI headquarters, but there you were.

You listened in on the conversation happening in the other room. From what you could tell, the man who saved you was arguing with his boss.

"Because if there's so much as a Tylenol in her system, you're going to pass it off to the DEA." The man said, his voice soft but firm. This wasn't the first time they had this argument and it showed.

"Will, it is not my fault that the DEA gets preferential treatment." The boss sounded exhausted. "We have a better chance of catching this man with their resources. And we can't turn a blind eye to how substances affect human behavior. I thought you of all people would accept this."

"What if there's nothing in her system?" The man posited. "Then all we have to work with is our own resources. Would that be so bad?"

"Look," the boss said, clearly trying to diffuse the situation. "We can't determine anything until forensics gets lab results back tomorrow. For now, see what you can find out from the waitress. She was able to keep her talking, maybe we can find out about what."

The man resignedly left the room and made his way to you. You glanced around the hallway, hoping he wouldn't notice that you've been eavesdropping.

He sat on the opposite end of the bench. You pulled the security blanket from the ambulance tighter around your shoulders.

"I know this is such a stupid, insensitive thing to ask," the man broke the silence. "But are you okay?"

"If it makes you feel any better," you sighed and dropped your shoulders. "I wasn't really okay to begin with."

"Yeah." The man agreed. "It doesn't matter how much you break something, it's still broken. Broken is a... Boolean value."

"It's just that.." You clutched the receipt between your fingers. "Just as I thought things were starting to improve, the universe sends me a cultist strapped to a bomb. I'm never going to recover from this."

"I don't think anyone expects you to." He said. "My name's Will, by the way."

"[F/N]." You said, just for formality's sake. He already knew your name. "I don't think I ever properly thanked you for saving my life."

"Don't worry about it." Will smiled weakly. "If you think you can, though, it would be innumerably helpful if you told us what happened."

You knew you weren't in a position to be asking for favors, but you were desperate. "Could I maybe stay with you for a while?"

Will hovered his hand over yours as if asking for permission. You took it, perhaps a little too eagerly.

"I'll stay with you as long as you want."

Will's presence made it easier to tell the man, whom you learned was the head of the Behavioral Science Unit of the FBI, everything that progressed that night.

"And then she started chanting that one bible verse about the martyrs inheriting the kingdom of heaven." You finished. "That was when Will shot her in the leg."

The director, whose name you learned was Jack Crawford, took a moment to ponder the information. You felt like a child that had been sent to the principal's office.

"Do you have any reason to believe that the woman was under the influence of any drugs? Alcohol?" Jack asked, resting his hands on the desk.

"Not with any certainty, no. I didn't see her ingest anything." You shook your head. "If she was under any influence at all, it was probably against her will."

"What makes you say that?" Jack cocked his head. "In your own time, of course."

"She was..." you glanced at Will, just to remind yourself that he was there. "Scared. Nothing she said had any conviction behind it. It was like she was a hostage being forced to read a fake suicide letter."

"What about these 'cult names' you mentioned?" Jack said. "What significance do you think they have?"

"She kept referring to Chase as 'vanguard'." You began.

"That's what Keith Raniere called himself." Jack interrupted. "Keith Raniere was the head of a sex trafficking cult."

"And the only reason I know that is because I listen to a lot of podcasts." You felt the need to explain. "I'm not sure how Mulvaney decided it would be a fitting title. Maybe he identified with Raniere."

"Did the woman call herself something, too?" Jack leaned in.

"Funny you should mention that," You forced a laugh. "Because she referred to herself as an 'unwoman'."

"That is interesting." Jack brought his hand to his temple, perhaps trying to convince you that he knew what ‘unwoman’ meant.

"He probably thinks Handmaid's Tale is some kind of instruction manual." You said, emphasizing the title of the work. 

“Handmaid’s Tale!” Jack exclaimed, suddenly understanding. "So, are you thinking maybe he's running a breeding cult?"

“Like a borrasca.” You turned to Will, hoping that maybe he would understand what that meant.

As if on cue, a woman in a lab coat burst into the room. 

“Dr. Katz,” Jack announced, taken aback by her urgency. “Welcome.” 

“Jack, you’re going to want to see this.” Dr. Katz said simply. 

Jack stood up from his seat. “Excuse me, Ms. [L/N], Will. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

Again, you were alone with Will. 

“I’m...” Will broke the silence, pausing to find the right words. “Jack isn’t as scary as he looks. He just has a habit of asking too much of people. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but you’re perfectly within your rights to tell him to back off.” 

You shook your head. “That wouldn’t feel right.”

“Tell me about it.” Will muttered and leaned back in his chair. “It does seem pretty out of character for him to want to drop the whole case on the DEA, but he does have a point about their resources. You can’t argue with money.” 

“No.” You agreed. “You can’t.” 

Will sighed. “I’m sorry. The last thing you probably want to hear about is FBI in-fighting after almost being killed twice in a two-week period.”

“It doesn’t really inspire confidence, no.” You said. 

“Let’s talk about something else.” He offered. “Do you like... fishing?” 

You laughed at his strange attempt at making conversation, but answered honestly. “I used to go fishing with my grandpa when I was a kid.” 

Realizing he’d tapped into a happy memory, Will decided to follow it. “Where did he take you?” 

“My grandparents had this lake house up in Michigan.” You reminisced. “On this dinky little manmade lake where all the rich boomers took their spoiled grandkids for the summer.” 

“Did you ever catch anything?” He shared a little smile.

You realized that he was doing the same thing to you that you did to the unwoman. He was trying to keep you talking to avoid, or at least prolong, some catastrophic event. But he was doing it for your sake. You appreciated that. 

“We pulled up a ton of bluegills, some walleyes, occasionally a bass.” You listed. “One time he and his brother-in-law settled a dispute by seeing who could catch a catfish first. They were outside all day.” 

“Did he ever take you downstate to go fishing on Lake Erie?” 

You stared vacantly ahead. “He wanted to.” 

Will lowered his head in respect. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It was, like, fourteen years ago.” You admitted. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“Still,” Will shrugged. “Grief takes a lot out of you. I’m sorry for bringing it up, I had no idea.”

“At this point, most avenues in my life end in death. It’s not your fault.” You smiled at him. “Thanks for trying, though.” 

You settled into another prolonged but comfortable silence. 

“I think Jack is going to arrange to get you into some kind of protective custody, by the way.” He said, shifting his body to face you. “And I don’t think he’s going to give you a choice now that he knows Chase is targeting you, specifically.” 

“Yeah, I was thinking about that.” You answered. “I think they’re probably going to insist I quit my job, too.” 

“You sound disappointed.” Will nodded. “You’ve grown to like that job, huh?” 

“I was good at it.” You admitted. “My boss was gunning for me to take over when he retired. I had big plans for that place. I know waitressing is supposed to be a job that’s ‘just a job’ but--” 

“You had ambition.” Will finished. “You were making an investment for your future.” 

For the first time in a while, you felt heard. “Right.” 

“If you would permit me to say,” Will stood up and walked towards Jack’s desk. “I think you would be an invaluable asset to this investigation.” 

You leaned on the armrest. “I don’t know, Will. I feel like I would just get in the way.” 

“But the sooner we catch this sick fuck, the sooner you can get back to your restaurant.” He said, grabbing a post-it note. He gestured to you with a pen. “And I will do everything in my power to get you back to that restaurant.”

“Why?” You asked. “I’m just a waitress.” 

“Your profile of Chase Mulvaney in your TattleCrime interview was a work of genius.” Will took off his glasses. “And it was incendiary enough to make him come back for you. It wasn’t just a cocaine-fueled bout of murderous hysterics. He remembered you. Now, throughout this investigation, Jack has been ignoring me. But maybe he’ll listen to you.” 

“And if he doesn’t?” You raised an eyebrow. “What then?” 

Will sighed and leaned back on the desk. “Then I do it myself.” 

“Fuck it.” You said, the complete contents of your soul behind those two little words. If he was going to raise the stakes, by god you were going to match him. “I don’t have much else to live for, so might as well die for something.” 

“That’s the spirit.” Will agreed. 

[filterjeons]

private show | jjk

✦ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

✦ summary: throughout your relationship, you never thought jungkook would ask a certain type of action from you. however, you take it into consideration...without the intention of him nearly catching you

✦ rating: M, not suitable for minors

✦ genre: smut

✦ word count: 7.4k

✦ warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, tsundere!reader, rough & unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!!), dirty talk, degradation bc im a whore for that, masterbation, voyeurism, oral (f receiving), fingering, orgasm denial

Honestly, you didn’t know what you did in your past life to earn a man like Jungkook but you weren’t complaining one bit anyways. By just one look at you, people assumed you weren’t the type to have a boyfriend and you would spend the rest of your life alone. Luckily, you managed to prove them all wrong by being with someone who loved you for the way you were instead of your money. 

It was a blessing and a curse to be born into a rich family of doctors who expected you to be the heir of the family hospital. Despite having your future already planned for you, you fell in love with playing the violin after being introduced to it when you were young. The feeling of holding the violin against your jaw as the bow ran across the strings to produce a classical melody that you’ve familiarized yourself with throughout the years. 

You would much rather be at a violin recital in a beautiful dress playing one of Bach’s sonatas than being cooped up in your room studying biology. However, your parents didn’t feel the same way. 

When you were about 6, you ranked second at a competition against tons of kids who were in their later-preteens but that wasn’t enough to prove to your parents how much you loved music. They took it as a sign of failure because “it’s not being first” and always used that argument against you to emphasize on how you have to be at the top of your class. 

“Mommy! Guess what, I got second place! Second out of a bunch of bigger kids! I didn’t expect-” you squealed, kicking the back of the limo’s glass partition. Instead of candy, you were buzzing with excitement due to how well you placed in your county’s music recital. But what you didn’t know was that even a place close to first was never enough. “Why didn’t you get first?” 

As those words ran through your ears, you felt your blood run cold and the eyes that were dancing of excitement and joy started to dull. You clutched your certificate tightly, tears starting to swell up. 

“That’s because there was a sixth grader who was better than me and she was really good, she can play the piano-” “You see, if you can’t get first then you shouldn’t pursue a career in music. It’s too hard and competitive for you anyways. How about you focus on your studies, especially since you’re going to take over the hospital when you’re older.” 

Up until last year which was your freshman year of college, you obeyed them by devoting your time to studying and only treating music as just a hobby while you hide your feelings along the way. Now that you think about it, you barely had friends during high school since every break period, you were always alone in the music room and you were too stubborn to go up to people. The only reason why you would talk to someone is to work on a group project but it ended up being that you would do all of the work while they slack off. 

Everyday felt dull and uninteresting, especially since you’re being put in a fate that you don’t even want. But like some stupid cliche, it all changed ever since you met him. 

You didn’t even intend to meet him, hell you barely knew he existed. But the night of your chemistry midterm, the apartment next to you decided to have a party which most of the school is invited to and blast loud music that could be heard from the next town over. 

It couldn’t get any worse as you were already stressed from college and your parent’s crazy expectations and you were definitely not failing otherwise you’re dead meat. Normally, you would just try to sleep it out with earplugs but since you barely ate anything but coffee and granola bars and you were tired from the 24 hour studying, that was your last straw. So you did the thing a person would do in your situation: marching over to the party in your purple star-printed nightgown to give them a piece of your mind. 

Already at the door, you could feel people’s stares burn into you, due to why you came to the party when you didn’t bother interacting with people and why you were in your pajamas. Maybe people were going to talk about you on Instagram but you didn’t care, you just wanted to ensure that you have enough sleep so you could at least pass. 

Unfortunately for you, you must’ve looked extremely stupid because you were wandering around the same area like a drunk man. Random people did offer to get you a drink but you declined; after all it was a school night. Eventually you gave up trying to even bother talking after seeing the host, local frat boy Jackson Wang, surrounded by the rest of the partygoers in a beer pong game. 

Frustrated and exhausted, you hauled yourself up to a seemingly empty room and collapsed onto the bed. Not only did you enter a college party in your pajamas but you wasted precious time studying over something idiotic like this. With all of these negative emotions inside of you, screaming inside a pillow was the first thing that came into your mind. And unfortunately, someone had to be the witness of your near mental breakdown. 

“Woah, is everything okay?” a velvety voice chuckled, patting your back slightly. Well, another reason why your night is absolute shit. You turned your face up to chew off the mysterious person but for some reason, your voice was all caught up in your throat. 

He was different, different from all of the boys that ever interacted with you. Despite you being a complete loner, the guys in your high school tried to hook up with you but you were never interested. They stunk of axe and the only reason why they’re “popular” is because they were on a sports team. Besides, you were too busy in your academics to even think about dating. 

You couldn’t really see him but the guy who’s in the room with you looks better than every single guy in your high school combined: his long dark hair in a mini-ponytail contrasting with his cute bunny-like face. 

“Wh-who are you?” “Jeon Jungkook. I’m a member of the boxing team and my family owns a records shop downtown. What about you?” 

“I-i-” “Aren’t you Y/N, the smart girl who doesn’t talk to anybody and spends her time either studying or in the music room with her violin?” Thank god the room is dark because your face was burning up badly. Barely anyone knew you and if they did, they had bad things to say about you because you were so quiet and boring. However, what he said was a fact and you shouldn’t blame him for having an impression on you due to what other people said. It hurted nonetheless though, especially since he was a part of a sports team. 

“Yeah, that’s me. What do you want? If it’s homework answers, then fine!” you snapped, immediately standing up and walking away. You were absolutely done with this night, all you wanted to do is sleep so you have some sanity tomorrow. 

“You sure are feisty. It’s cute,” he said with a cocky grin stuck on his face. Oh, how you wanted to slap it off. 

“If you’re asking me out, I’m not interested!” you fought back. Although you were one step out of the door, something about him made you want to stay. Like you wanted to talk to him. 

“I didn’t say anything about that but if you want it that way-”

“No! I-I’m sorry for acting all rude, I’m just having a really bad night and I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone,” you mumbled, turning on the light. Oh how it was a bad idea..

Now that you could really see his face clearly, your heart felt like it was about to explode. He was dressed in a simple all-black T-shirt and jeans with combat boots to match. What really captivated you were the tattoos on his hand and up to his elbow, each symbol and design etched out beautifully which must’ve taken hours. 

Although you were at least wearing clothes, you felt exposed due to the stupid pajamas you have on. He somehow sensed your embarrassment and gave you a small smirk which made it ten times worse. 

“Well, do you want to explain why you were screaming in a pillow earlier?” Normal you definitely wouldn’t spill her feelings to a hot guy she just met five minutes ago but with him, you felt safe. Like for one night, all your worries and feelings are immediately gone and it’s just you and him. 

Was this the stupid shit they call “love at first sight”? 

“My midterm is tomorrow and I can’t sleep from all of the noise so I came here to yell at the host of the party. Jackson Wang, fuck you and your decision to host a party today,” you sighed, settling yourself next to him. You would expect him to immediately laugh and make fun of you since it was something a lot of people did to you whenever you cared about your grades. Instead, he looked at you with understandment and listened to what you had to say. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I went to this stupid party in the first place,” he replied, making you snort out a laugh. As you were trying to collect yourself from his statement, Jungkook’s mouth turned up into a small smile. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect that. Anyways, I guess I should get going since I have a big day ahead of me,” you smiled, feeling a small weight being lifted off of your shoulders. As you trudge out the door, Jungkook’s arm stops yours for a second. 

“Do you think I can have your phone number? Not for dating but you sound like a really cool person to be around and no offense but you seem lonely.” “Thanks for the compliment. But here you go,” you said sarcastically, scribbling down your phone number on a random piece of stationary in the drawer next to the bed. Maybe this is all a fever dream, maybe you’re hallucinating due to how little sleep you’ve gotten during midterm week. 

“I’ll see you soon…” he waved you goodbye as you gave a final look at the door. He was interesting but now isn’t the time to be distracted! You’re pretty sure that if you pinch yourself, you’ll be back in your dorm since this is just a dream? “Also, d-don’t take it the wrong way! It’s not like I like you or anything! I just wrote down my number because you asked nicely! We’re never going to date!” Not only did you pass your midterm but your last line to Jungkook in the stuffy college party would become your famous last words. 

It’s been years since you and Jungkook met at that party and a lot has changed then. You started to grow feelings and date him a few weeks after your midterm, eventually making the relationship official in a month. After a few months into dating, he introduced his parents to you first. They were a sweet family with amazing home cooked meals which you were dying to recreate and luckily, they accepted you with open arms. 

However, him meeting your parents wasn’t that smooth. Now that you look back on that day, not only were you permanently deciding to be with the one that you love but it also felt like you were breaking free out of the shell that your parents trapped you in because you didn’t want to go down the path they set for you. 

You shook your head to yourself, not wanting to be reminded of the painful past. Now, you were a violinist playing in recitals and companies and Jungkook was running his parent’s record shop. You were happy and you didn’t care about what your stupid parents think. They can simply ask someone else to run the hospital and it’ll still be fine. 

As soon as the practice track ended, you turned off the metronome and packed your violin away. The apartment that you and Jungkook shared was average-sized, a notable difference from the mansion you used to live in but it was better. You were with the person you love and that’s all you could ever need. It may sound corny but a simple life with him was all you ever wanted. 

After you pack away your violin, you impatiently wait alongside the door for Jungkook to get home. Right now, he has boxing practice for a match next week and he wanted to stay with his teammate Taehyung to be the best that he can but he’s stopping by for a day. You’re not into boxing but like the good girlfriend you were, you attend most of his matches (some conflicted with your performances) and cheer him on. 

Although you miss having him by your side, you’re also aware of how much boxing means to him as it was a break from the hectic life of owning a music store. Another positive in your new life was the amount of music there was, a good break from the science and math that filled your childhood. 

You heard some jiggling among the door locks and surely enough, Jungkook’s handsome face was in your view. He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt and some blue jeans, a very simple outfit after spending most of his time at the boxing gym. 

“Hey baby,” he cooed, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

“Hi. I’m so happy you’re back, I was starting to worry that you forgot about me,” you joked, carrying his boxing bag to your shared bedroom with him tagging behind. 

“You know I would never forget about you,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the back of your neck. Instead of wriggling away like you normally do, you allow yourself to relish in his affection since he wasn’t a person who did it often. 

“I missed you..” you mumbled, turning around and kissing him. He returned the kiss more passionately, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. The sudden action made you forget about everything, focusing only on him. Unfortunately, with your senses locked on him, it caused you to fall onto the bed, your head nearly hanging off of the edge. Jungkook used your weakness to have more control over the kiss and you, carefully grabbing the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Even though he always controls kissing you, his lips are also full of love and longing due to him being gone for too long. 

“God I missed this,” he mumbled, breaking away to remove the buttons of your blouse and kissing the side of your neck. You whined from his touch, feeling a bit embarrassed due to how much time it’s been since the two of you were together. 

“What is it baby girl, are you nervous? Come on, we’ve known each other for years and I know you can take anything I give you.” It was true of course but for some reason, it felt like the first time you had sex with him. 

After your shirt has been taken off, you unconsciously cover your chest with your arms. You didn’t know why you’re acting so self-conscious, especially since you’ve been a challenger to him in bed. 

“Hey, are you okay? We can stop if you don’t want to-” Jungkook asked softly, reaching over to take your hand. 

What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just Jungkook and like he said, you’ve known him for too long. Besides, don’t you have too much pride to act this way? You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at him with a seductive smile. 

“You were taking too long to take off my shirt. How boring,” you said coyly, tapping his nose playfully. He returned your gaze, his eyes darkened with lust and desire. 

“Well then baby girl, how about you take off the rest of your clothes since you seem like you want to do it,” he muttered, sitting up with his attention completely on your chest. One thing you were infamous in your relationship for is being a brat, a mix of you being submissive but not backing down completely. Even though you liked being a good girl sometimes, the rest is just you on the receiving end. After all, you won’t back down to a challenge, nonetheless if your challenger’s your significant other. 

If a person only based off of what they saw, they would think that you were the one taking absolute control due to the aura you give off and your harsh personality. However, at least between you and him since you were one to keep your private life a secret, he is the one with the reins and you were completely fine with it. 

You unclipped your bra, throwing it at some random place in the room and revealed your exposed breasts. He ogled at your body up and down, his familiar lustful gaze running through his eyes. 

“Hey, what are you staring at?” you barked, slowly starting to feel awkward. Unlike you, Jungkook had no shame when it came to your bedroom activities and there were times when he would just stare at you while you’re completely bare. How embarrassing...but it’s no big deal. 

“Watch your mouth you little brat. Do I have to punish you on my day back?” he said darkly, his tone immediately making the back of your hairs stand up. Your face softened, heat forming in your cheeks as you twirled a random piece of your hair, a random habit that you’ve done since elementary school.

“I-I’m sorry.” “Sorry what, baby girl? You’re smarter than that.” “Sorry..sir.” After that word was uttered in your soft and obedient tone, Jungkook could feel his dick growing harder by the second. Hearing you give up all of your confidence and letting him control you never failed to turn him on. 

“Now take off the rest of your clothes, sweetie. Or are you going to continue being a dumb little girl and keep playing with me,” he growled softly, leaning back on the bed frame. You felt like acting up some more but he truly was scary when he’s upset and you didn’t want to make his visit back bad because of your behavior so you simply did what he said. Even though you wouldn’t admit it to the world, you also love obeying Jungkook. 

You quickly unzippered your jeans, pulling them off along with your panties and kicking them out of the bed. The warmth from the clothes were immediately replaced by the chilly air from the air conditioner, your nipples standing up and goosebumps filling your body. It was humiliating, especially since Jungkook can see you so clearly. 

“My precious sweetheart,” he cooed, leaning over you and you could feel his hardened member alongside the roughness of his jeans as he slowly grinded into you. 

“Ahh…” You didn’t know what to say, except you knew you wanted more. Jungkook’s mouth was latched onto your nipples, sucking them harshly while his other hand was massaging and flicking on them repeatedly. You felt your eyes roll back to your head and your pussy dampening, even though he wasn’t doing anything yet. 

“You like this baby?” he asked gruffly, tugging on your nipple teasingly as it sends sparks of pleasure inside you. You only let out a whine in response as he broke apart from your chest and slowly made his way down your body. 

All of a sudden, he inserted one of his long fingers inside of your core, sending vibrations throughout your body. You squealed from the intrusion as your body tried to familiarize itself with his finger, your walls clenching around his digit. 

“Damn, have you gotten tighter since last time?” He started to thrust his finger in and out of you at a moderate pace, trying to get you used to the feeling. As if one isn’t enough for you, he suddenly inserted a second one to stretch you out. 

Your mind was a haze, not paying attention to anything that was happening around you and focusing on the pleasure that Jungkook was giving you. His fingers attempted to reach the spongy section of your g-spot, the place that absolutely had you in hysterics. Surely enough, his fingertips grazed over it and you could nearly come undone at any second. 

While he added an additional finger and completely filled you up, you could feel his smooth tongue on your clit, flicking and sucking on it feverishly. High-pitched moans and mewls were coming out of your mouth embarrassingly as you tugged on Jungkook’s long locks in order to steady yourself of the pleasure. 

You could feel him curl his fingers and touch your g-spot, sending sparks within you. At this point, you were barely in a stable mindset due to how good he was making you feel. You felt a knot building up in your stomach, your orgasm coming close to you. 

“Are you gonna cum now baby girl? Do you want to cum for Sir? Yeah, I know you do, I could feel it coming,” he said tauntingly, his fingers and tongue abusing your cunt and the vibrations among it made the sensation feel even better. 

“Y-yeah, I’m gonna-” you whimpered pathetically but to your dismay, he completely stopped by sliding his fingers out and removing his face. With your release dismissed like it was nothing, you felt annoyance build up on you as your body shook from the denial. 

“What the hell? Why did you stop?” you groaned, your eyes shooting sharp daggers at Jungkook. If looks could kill, he would surely be dead within two seconds. But all that’s on his face were your liquids and a cocky smirk that you want to wipe off instantly. 

“Because I want you to cum on my dick first. It’s been so long since I’ve been inside you, y’know?” he said casually, pulling off his shirt like it was nothing and revealing his impressive 6-pack. One thing that you were always in awe of was his figure. Jungkook was a really athletic person, always finding time out of his day to work out and maintain his muscular body. You didn’t mind if he didn’t have abs but it neutralized his cute face that could easily kill anyone. 

“It’s been a while, yeah? You ready kitten?” Jungkook kicked off his jeans and his boxer that covers his massive bulge was immediately in your vision. You could feel your thighs rubbing together as you were craving him inside you. 

“You’re calling me kitten now?” you mumbled shyly as he sat on the edge of the bed, palming his hardened member. 

“Yeah because you’re my cute kitty, aren’t you? Do you want to take off my boxers for me?” he smirked, knowing how excited you are to see him like this again. Like there was no tomorrow, you yanked it off impatiently and his dick sprang out, hitting his abs before standing up instantly. 

“You’re excited, aren’t you? Don’t deny it,” Jungkook teased, stroking his member teasingly before setting you down on your back and hovering above you. 

“I want it,” you mumbled impatiently, getting excited with the thought of him fucking you until you can’t walk again. He chuckled at your reaction, slowly slipping himself inside you. You shrieked from the sudden movement and tried to make yourself comfortable even though this wasn’t new to you. 

“Alright baby, let’s go,” he said gruffly, slowly pulling out and slamming it back inside within the next five seconds. You let out a scream as he picked up the pace into the all-too familiar rough and fast one. 

“Damn, you’ve gotten way tighter since the last time I’ve fucked your brains out. Feels so good for Sir,” he groaned, his dick completely filling you warm and deep to the point where it could nearly reach your guts. “Does my baby like that? Like getting dicked down where I can feel her in your stomach?” “Ahh, oh my god!” You could only moan and whine in response, pathetic noises coming out of your mouth as Jungkook’s dick hit every surface of your pussy. His veins already made it even more pleasurable and you could feel the tip grazing upon your g-spot, making you even more sensitive. 

It hasn’t been long but embarrassingly, you could feel your orgasm arrive once again due to how good his dick was thrusting into you. As he continued to drill your abused cunt, you could feel your legs tremble at the sensitive feeling and the impending sensation of your orgasm starting to grow in your core. 

“S-sir, oh my god-” you mewled as Jungkook used his force to flip you on your stomach, your face covered in the pillows. You couldn’t feel him inside you for a second but suddenly, he slammed inside you with no remorse and continued fucking you at that fast pace. 

Your cunt throbs as you prepare yourself to cum all over his dick. Jungkook could sense it too by the way your walls started to tighten around him, making it even more pleasurable than the last time you two had sex due to how tight you were. You were praying that he doesn’t deny your orgasm again but there were times where he was that cruel. But you’ve behaved enough to not warrant that type of treatment. 

“Is my baby gonna cum now? Go on, come for me, I want to see you come undone on my dick,” he chanted lowly, his pace fastening due to his orgasm coming in soon. Like his words set off a reaction inside you, you screamed out his name and squirted on his dick and stomach. Using that as fuel to keep going, Jungkook thrusts even faster than before to catch his own high as you try to calm yourself down from your own orgasm. 

“Ahh, Jungkook-” you whined from the sensitivity but you kept holding on so he could cum too. The way his sweat dripped off of his forehead and complimenting with his dark locks nearly made you want to cum again. 

“Fuck, I’m cumming, oh shit,” he moaned out, his thrusts slowing down and surely enough, you could feel his dick spurt out his seed inside you. He started to pull out and stroke himself, spurts of his cum filling up your pussy to not waste a drop. 

You and him started to breathe heavily from the intense fuck as you gingerly pulled up the sheets to cover your body. It’s not like you were embarrassed of him seeing your body, it was a habit you did after you have sex with him.

“Did you miss me?” he smiled, lying down next to you and covering an arm around your waist. You nodded, snuggling up next to him on the neck of his crook. There weren't any words spoken from the both of you for a while, instead you were just enjoying the presence of him next to you because after today, he’ll be gone again. 

If you had it your way, you didn’t want him to go but he really wanted to participate in his boxing match and what kind of girlfriend were you if you didn’t support him? Still, you loved every moment with him and he was the one thing you absolutely loved in your life. 

After a moment of silence, Jungkook broke the silence by facing towards you with seriousness in his eyes. You were worried that something may have happened, so you braced yourself with the worst that could happen. But surprisingly, his words were a bigger shock than any other disaster you could think of. 

“Y/N, do you mind if I ask something of you? I hope you don’t find it uncomfortable or invasive.” “Sure, what is it?” You should’ve known from the cheeky smirk he gave you that he was going to request this type of stuff. 

“I want to see you touch yourself. I think you’ll look so hot fucking yourself with your fingers while all I’m doing is just watching you.” “What the hell?!” 

You were lying if you said you didn’t think about it a lot, especially since Jungkook left the house today this afternoon. Now that he wasn’t there, the apartment felt lonely again and you automatically missed him. 

However, the thought of him also brings you back to the conversation you had after you two had sex after a while. 

“You’ve never touched yourself? I figured that something like that would come easy to you!” “Well- you know I have dignity right! It’s already embarrassing enough that I’m your submissive!” 

“You’re right, it’s already hot seeing you act all whiny and needy for my touch.” “Shut up! Stop making fun of me!”

You shook your head, trying to get rid of Jungkook’s words. With the intent to clean your room to take some stuff out of your mind, you walked to the shared bedroom and started to rearrange random knick-knacks that were placed in peculiar locations. 

While you were wandering around, your eye caught sight of a black duffel bag that was in a hidden corner of your bed. With curiosity, you approached it to check to see what was inside. It was heavy and filled with boxing gloves and other equipment, meaning that it was Jungkook’s. 

He must’ve forgotten it when he left today, you mused, holding the glove to your chest. A normal person would immediately contact him and give it back but it was like a living piece of him, having its name and scent. You can’t believe you already miss him that much to hold onto his boxing gloves for some comfort. How pathetic. 

The smell of him already reminded you of yesterday, when he touched you and made you feel so good. You groaned to yourself as you feel your panties dampening just from the thought of Jungkook giving you pleasure. 

“Y’know what, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Alright Jungkook, I’ll do it,” you muttered to yourself as you slowly grazed your fingers to your lower region. You could already feel the slick coming out of your panties, signalling how wet you were. 

You were a smart person but frankly, you were confused on how to touch yourself especially since this was your first time. Memories of the way Jungkook inserted and thrusted his fingers inside you flashed through your mind, giving you an idea on how to start. 

You slide your panties off to your ankles and slowly insert your index finger inside of your core, letting yourself get familiar to your own fingers inside of you. It sure felt different than when Jungkook did it, it wasn’t enough to completely make you feel undone. You pumped another finger inside, giving you something inside at least but it was no better than Jungkook’s touch.

“Ahh, Jungkook,” you moaned softly, flicking your own clit with your fingers which makes the pleasure at least a bit better. You would rather have him with you but it was enough to fill up a small part of his absence. Remembering every time he fucked you harshly was enough to quicken your pace with your fingers, your walls clenching around them and your orgasm closely approaching. 

Your other hand groped your breasts, flicking your nipple and massaging them while the other was thrusting in and out of your needy cunt. You were completely in your own euphoria, the world completely fading away from you. Unfortunately for you, that euphoria is only short-lived. 

An annoying sound ran throughout your room, the culprit being your cell phone. You groaned with disappointment as you attempted to pry your fingers out of your pussy and your orgasm fading away with every time the ringtone chimed. 

With your slick-covered hands, you read the text and your blood started to run cold from the words that were displayed on the screen. 

[Jungkook ♡]

- Hi babe, I’m coming home bc I forgot my boxing bag.

- Sorry that this was sudden

- Actually, I’m outside the apartment rn

You’re fucked. Absolutely fucked. But lucky, you still had a minute to spare to make it seem like you weren’t doing anything. You put his boxing glove back in the bag and wobbled downstairs to the front door. The door locks started to jingle and you immediately opened them just for him to take his bag and go. You love him with all of your heart but now’s not the time to chat with him. 

“Hey Y/N, do you have my bag?” he asked across from you, looking as good as ever. You forced a smile and shoved his bag in front of your face.

“Yeah, it’s this one right? So, here it is so you can get going now! Goodbye!” you grinned, sweat dripping down your face. 

Jungkook looked puzzled on why you were acting that way but decided to go along with it. “O-okay, thanks.” 

“Of course! Now, you should get going now! Your boxing rehearsal isn’t going to wait forever, is it?” you chuckled, trying to push him out of the door but he didn’t budge. After taking a quick glance at you (more specifically your legs and the amount of slick dripping down), he decided to stay. 

“Woah, woah, there’s something going on. Let me in,” he said stubbornly, pushing against you to get inside the apartment.  

“What are you talking about? There’s literally nothing going on! You should go back to the boxing place!” you argued but he wouldn’t listen. Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled you upstairs into the bedroom and set you down, looking straight into your eyes. You immediately blushed as his eyes held such confusion and hunger inside. 

“Don’t lie to me, only bad girls lie. So tell me baby, what exactly is going on?”

Surely he didn’t know right? You still have some time to lie because there’s no way he knows. 

“I was taking a nap before you texted me.” 

“Without your panties on and a shit ton of slick dripping down your thighs?” he asked with confusion, pulling up your skirt and revealing your soaking pussy, throbbing due to the atmosphere. At this point, you were absolutely stuck in a corner as Jungkook stared at the way you’re completely aroused. 

“Ahh, um..” “Are you cheating on me, Y/N?” His eyes were now full of sadness and hurt and you could immediately feel your heart start to break. 

“N-no! Of course not! I would never cheat on you, you’re the one who I love! It’s just because..” you tried to get the idea out of his head, holding his hands tightly. Jungkook’s face brightened up a bit before being replaced with suspicion.

“So, what’s up? What were you doing while I left?” There was absolutely no talking yourself out of this because Jungkook would find out either way at this point. But at least it’s better than making up a stupid lie, right? “I..um..remember how you said you wanted to see me touch myself yesterday?” “Of course.” “Well...I was doing that..” you mumbled with embarrassment, avoiding his eye contact. Jungkook’s ears picked up what you said and his face lit up with excitement and desire. 

“Say that again for me?” he smirked, loving how soft and shy you were now.   

“I..was touching myself while I was thinking of you,” you said a bit loudly but it was still so embarrassing. You had no idea why he was all so happy right now but it made you happy nonetheless.

“Do you think you can show me?” he grinned, staring up into your eyes. 

“What?! N-no! It’s private right? You see, it’s private for a reason! Now you got your bag and figured out why I was acting weird so you can go now!” you snapped, heat automatically filling up your body. 

“It’s okay, I can skip practice today. This is important, why didn’t you tell me?” “It’s not something I should tell you.” “Anyways, you’ve been a bad girl today. Touching yourself while thinking of me, you’re so naughty. So your punishment is to reenact what you did before I came back and I’m not leaving until I see you touch yourself. But don’t worry, if you need help then I’m always here,” Jungkook purred, his dominant persona on. You gulped down a lump down your throat but you weren’t ready to back down to him yet. 

“No I’m not! I’m not giving up my dignity just yet!” “Come on, little girl. I know you were fucking yourself like a little whore while you were gone. Did your tiny little fingers fill you up completely, better than my cock? I know you didn’t because even though you’re a whore, you’re still such a slut for my dick.” His dirty words made you even more turned on than normal with even more slick running down your thighs. You knew it was better to obey, especially since he’s talking like this. With that being said, you scooted yourself with the back of your head hitting the bed frame. After a minute of hesitation, you lifted up your skirt which revealed your whole pussy to him. Jungkook stared intently, noticing every little twitch that it made as it’s longing for something to be inside it and how wet it has become. His lips were curled into a smirk as your fingers started to graze over your folds. 

Taking a deep breath, you inserted two of your fingers to aid the throbbing in your core. It felt  different than when you did it before, maybe due to Jungkook staring at every little movement you made.

Despite your initial refusal, having him watch over you turned you on even more and the throbbing only continued to get worse after you slowly started to move your fingers. You didn’t know how much it turned you and him on, judging from his erection in his pants. 

“Ahh, oh my god,” you moaned, adding an additional finger and groping your boobs with your other hand.

Jungkook’s mouth was in shock, shocked at how you can look so sexy touching yourself even though it was your first time. His dick was begging to be released in his now tight sweatpants but just watching you like this was more than enough.

He’s never admitted it directly to you but surprisingly, he’s such a voyeur and seeing you wrecked with only your fingers or even a toy could make him cum as hard as him actually fucking you.

“J-Jungkook, please…” you mewled, rocking your hips against your small hands in an attempt to hit your g-spot, where only your boyfriend knows. 

By now, you’ve inserted your whole hand inside of your core and it still wasn’t as satisfying as Jungkook’s long fingers inside you. You should’ve been embarrassed that his vision was at you masterbating but frankly, you didn’t care anymore.

“Shit baby girl, just like that, fucking ruin yourself,” he grunted, slightly stroking his hardened member through his sweatpants. 

“I want your mouth on me,” you cried, slowly starting to feel the same ecstatic feeling of your release. The way his eyes were set on you alone brings you closer to your high as you’re practically grinding on your hand. 

Luckily, Jungkook heard your wish and immediately brought his face down to your core, taking your fingers out and licking your clit like there was no tomorrow. His face was completely buried with the goal of eating you out and getting your cum out of you. It wasn’t a thought that ever crossed your mind but you never realized how much better Jungkook made you feel and how the throbbing seemed to go away after he was with you. His face was absolutely covered in your juices and adding to his warm mouth were his long fingers. 

“You like that don’t you, you slutty little girl?” he hummed, the vibrations of his mouth making you even more closer to the edge. You gripped onto his arm tightly, your fingernails dragging along his muscles due to how much he was giving you. 

You felt his fingers curl against you, hitting your g-spot and bringing you closer to your climax. It felt too good and you were craving to be ruined by him. Jungkook stared at the way you were shoving his hand amongst your tight little cunt, grinding on it as you try to reach your high and the squelching sounds it made. 

Within seconds, you were close to your orgasm and you were trying to chase after it feverishly. His tongue and his fingers were too much for you, even though you received them last night. They made you feel so satisfied and full, always filling you up to the edge and the way he was hitting every spot nearly made you cream all over his fingers. 

Unfortunately for you, he immediately pulled his fingers and mouth away, completely denying you of releasing. The hot feeling and intensity disappeared instantly and was replaced by the familiar throbbing as you let out a groan of disappointment. This was the second time you’ve lost your orgasm and you just wanted to release on him once more. 

“Why did you stop? I was going to-” you growled, your face heating up due to the increased temperature inside. 

“You’re not going to cum when I’m away. Is that a rule you can follow?” he said sharply, licking every remain of your juices off his face and wiping the excess with a tissue. 

“W-why?” “Instead, I want you to send me a video touching yourself but not cumming until my match. Is that an order my little girl can do?” 

You absolutely hated the fact that you won’t be releasing for a while but you didn’t want to get him mad. All you can do is just accept your fate and nod. 

“There you go, don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel so good once I win,” he grinned, kissing you passionately. You could immediately taste yourself on his lips and felt his hardened member upon you. There were more things that the two of you would’ve done but he wouldn’t allow that to happen. 

“Well then, I’ll be off. You’ll behave, right?” he parted cheerily, grabbing his bag and leaving the apartment like he didn’t just completely ate you out and denied your orgasm for the second time. As you heard the door lock, you’re left with your skirt drenched from your juices and the aching feeling between your legs. 

Oh the things that Jungkook does to you. But what would happen if you gave him a little surprise during his boxing match. Surely, you weren’t that submissive and besides, it would be fun to tease him..

“You did great man!” Taehyung cheered, high-fiving Jungkook as soon as his match ended. He shared the same with a bunny-like smile and went inside the locker room to clean up to see you. Not only did he win but he’s going to be staying with you for a while now. 

With a bright spirit, he unlocked his locker and opened his phone to a text message from you. There was an attachment with a seemingly innocent message but once he opened the video, it only fueled his desire. 

[Y/N ♡]

- I miss you so much 

Inside of the video was you fucking yourself with your fingers, high-pitched and incoherent whimpers coming out of you and from the looks of it, it was like you’re about to reach your climax. 

Within the last few seconds, it cuts to you creaming all over the bed and licking your juices off of your fingers seductively with a cute wink at the end. All of that just to rile and tease him. 

Shit, the things that this girl does to me, Jungkook sighs, feeling his member starting to grow inside of his pants again. They were simple instructions yet you can’t obey properly. Maybe it was due to you being a brat and wanting to be put in your place again. 

Well, if there’s one thing that you and Jungkook know, is that you’ll certainly not walk the next day.

a/n: honestly, i’m not too proud of this but i hope you liked it regardless! let me know what you think and have a great day <3