#i try sleep now? yea? pls @my brain?

[sirensplayhouse]

hiii siren

for anons who struggle with the 3D not reflecting their 4D or desires (it is conforming, there’s always movement). I’ve done all sorts of loathing, “giving up the law”, spiral down a hole of self hate (it was all due to trauma what not, i had anxiety and depression so take it for me who’s had inferiority complex since i was child, had a very pessimistic look towards life in general as a child.) i took another approach to this, everytime i opened pinterest to see “how i wanted to look like/how my life should be etc” i’d tell myself each time i open the app, im just seeing “how i look right now, this is how my life is” i treated that as my photos app rather than looking at it as “i want that” i just say “it’s already something i’ve”.

i also perfected my sc within two days? i just used “i’ve perfect sc” like once or twice a day 😭✋🏼, i rarely spiraled for a week now. Each time i get a thought of jealousy or frustration, i flip it. sometimes it’s so annoying that i can’t help feel jealous or distraught, i feel that feeling for an hour or so and flip later which makes it easier.

i was obsessed with the void for like six months lmao NOW I HATE IT SM, like i wasted my time with that obsession. i do still affirm for the void, but i don’t obsess over it. And pls don’t try to ignore the 3D when it’s just not what you want, I can’t ignore my 3D but for a fact i always know that it’s temporary, and it’ll change. Everytime i go to sleep at night or a nap in the noon, i just say when i wake up, i’ll be having all my desires (yes, i still didn’t wake up with them, but i make it point to persist bc I KNOW IT WILL CHANGE, IT SHOULD CHANGE, i’m so done with this apathy and self pity. i just want to live my life well) But everytime the 3D shows me something unfavorable, i know it’ll change. i just say “it’s the old story, wdym?” to myself and my brain just sort of goes like 😀😵‍💫 and then i stick to my new story which is also my reality easily!

OMG I RAMBLED SM 😵‍💫, hope i made some sense lmao. that’s just my take, i think everyone should have their own set of rules, while applying the law. i can’t wait to send my success story to you soon, siren i’m so excited!!!! 😫

~ 👿

the growth ??? I love it so much 🥹because I mean you did that 🫶🏾andddddd you can back and dropped some gems for the people🤭

I already know your success story is gonna be bomb asf and I can’t wait to read it🕺🏾

but yea people what my anon said 🥰

[erisenyo]

hi for the love of god hello i read your nasa zukka fic last night before i went to sleep and when i read the poetry i was like damn this is sick i have to remember to look this up in the morning and i did (obviously bc it was burned into the folds of my brain and i could never forget it in a million years) and YOU WROTE IT??? IT WAS ORIGINAL???? and then i reread it so i could feel emotions at 6 am on a monday and ITS IN HAIKU??? THE VERSES HIT THE SYLLABLE COUNT??? anyway i’m in love with you and the banter was perfect and the poetry was heartbreaking and amazing and i cried! and you’re amazing so yea. idk how every fic of yours hits it on the nose every time but by all means keep going pls. and if you want to talk about your process for writing the poetry especially i am listening with open ears hearts and holes <33333333

Oh my god hello you have no idea how many times I've read this ask, I am just BEYOND thrilled that you loved the poetry so much (and noticed it was haikuuuu I'm screaming)!! Like truly so deeply ecstatic, I adore the idea of poet-Sokka but I don't think poetry is necessarily my strong suit, so this has made my whole week I can't even tell you

I'm doing a little dance that this fic and the poetry could give you emotions at 6am on a Monday (truly the worst of times) and that you enjoyed the banter so much. And that you cried because of my haikus, I'M going to cry now!!

Thank you so so much, this is so sweet and lovely and I'm so over the moon from this and the fact that you think all my fics are such bangers and I'm also cracking up that you are listening with open ears and hearts and holes, how could I hold back my process knowing that.

Though process-wise it might be a bit thin, it's very vibes based. I've also done some poetry for Sokka in Of Tea and Turtle Ducks (and the Turtle Duck Guy) and To Open Every Door To Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun, and it's always haikus (math+art=Sokka's sweet spot) and always coming from this place of deep emotion or really feeling the moment he's in.

I tend to focus on one or two core phrases or pieces of imagery for the poem. So for Sokka at NASA being overwhelmed by seeing a rocket launch, I wanted a sense of the launch itself (fire, explosive force, fragile bodies, deadly flame) and the reverence (wonder, care) that Sokka brings to space as this vast frontier. It's something scientific but also something worthy of near-spiritual awe (dreaming, hoping to see), and something that is tangled with a lot of longing for him (carrying hope, far-flung dreams).

Once I have those core phrases or images, it's a lot of counting and shuffling around the order of things and trying out different combinations until the syllables finally work (and me telling myself that Sokka is an amateur poet so it's okay for me to be one too haha). I usually put in placeholders for the poems when I write, because actually figuring out a haiku and getting it where I want it within the scene can take 30ish minutes (depending on how anchored I get to specific imagery being in it) so I like to give it it's own headspace.

I liked all the imagery I was coming up with in the NASA fic, which is why we ended up with three haikus haha

With fire and dreaming, we send these fragile bodies into endless night.

They carry our hope to see beyond the edge of our own gravity.

We shape deadly flame, with wonder and care, to reach for our far-flung dreams

[megacarapa]

Name your top 5 favorite anime/manga! (or cartoons/shows if you’re not into anime and manga)

tagged in this by @thegaygyrus like... months ago but shh we do not talk about how freaking slow i am and how much i overthink even stupid harmless tag games ❤

update 1.1 added gifs to make it easier to look at hhdhdjd

ANYWAY MY TOP 5 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

-----

Mob Psycho 100

this show was one of the first times that i really felt like a piece of media "got" me, like something about it spoke to me personally. if i try to put my finger on it id say that its the really positive attitude it has on personal developement, like you may be a disaster of a person and a nervous wreck right now but if you identify what parts of yourself you want to change or improve and then seriously do your best on changing them.. things will work out. along with that its also important to me because thanks to it i formed some of my first real online friendships and that aswell is a source of many happy memories. mp100 is really precious to me

Hoshiai no Sora

fscshfj if youre following me rn then its probably because of hns and you probably already know how much i love this anime. a sports anime which i like mixed in with realistic character drama which i LOVE and has not only actual lgbt characters but ACTUAL DISCUSSION OF LGBT TOPICS which is like surprisingly rare even in shows that have lgbt characters and has a wonderful cast and deals with different types of families (some are happy, some are abusive, some are seemingly happy but have different problems, some are negligent etc..) and even without the second half this show has always been 10/10 for me I REALLY LOVE THIS SHOW

High Score Girl

i have consumed a... sizeable amount of romance manga/anime and this is one that really snuck up on me in the way that i didnt super love it right away but as it went along i began to realize how much ive started to genuinely give a shit about the characters themselves and not just their romance. anyway high score girl is about 90s arcades and two kids who love gaming having a very hardcore VERY onesided rivarly who eventually fall in love and then.. in short.. reality insues for the entire rest of the series. even tho this one is a bit too cartoony and slapsticky for me, beneath that it has a golden core of heartwarming moments, really true to life portrayals of kids and teenagres and a genuine love for gaming and AAA i adore this show

Yama no Susume

cute girls doing cute things HIKING EDITION!!! this one is definetly more chill and fun and less drama and character developement than the others up til now but still i really do consider it one of my favourites, the subject matter is something i actually enjoy doing myself (more casually ofc hdhd), the character interactions are really fun ESPECIALLY between the main 2 girls (my favourite running gag is them literally talking fo each other like an old married couple) and the artwork and animation is really beautiful. yea more simple than the others but i love it so much

(last one is a manga because while i do have other anime that i love and consider favourites i just couldnt decide which of them would go in my Top 5™... meanwhile this manga is something that i genuinely consider my favourite ever so it definitely needs to go here)

Yugami kun doesnt have any friends

ONCE AGAIN i have a big ol boner for realistic characters. the main character of this manga, described in 2 words, is "literally me", described in more words... yugami is the class weirdo who sits in the back all alone and is content being a friendless loner and is always doing things his own way and obsessing with his many hobbies and his behaviour generally just comes off as bizarre to his classmates. this isnt stated in canon but yugami is literally autistic like theres no denying it, and honestly his portrayal is just delightful to me. really the gist of it is realizing that there isnt anything fundementally wrong with yugami and he doesnt need to change in order to fit other people's idea of a "normal person", hes the nail sticking out that refuses to be hammered down. IM REALLY BAD AT SELLING THINGS BUT GOD I LOVE THIS MANGA SO MUCH

-----

no tags society has progressed past the need for me to tag people but if u see this and it looks fun go and do it too!

[vaguely-yandere]

good morning chami <33

just woke up and now i have to go work at my silly little part time job :// school also begins for me tomorrow so now i’ll be a working student!! (ahaha save me)

i don’t even get sleep paralysis, but what about a sleep paralysis demon yan… one that initially scares the sh!t out of you one night when you wake up and see it out of the corner of your eye… it’s a dark, shadowy figure, vaguely human, but you can tell it’s looking at you. you’re freaking out but you also have been dealing with sleep paralysis for a while, so this encounter isn’t entirely unexpected, thank god. you’ve just never seen a figure before today.

each night it seems to get a little closer. sometimes, as you drift off to sleep, you can almost hear little whispers of awe and praise, but you’re certain you’re hearing things. the closest it’s ever gotten was at the foot of your bed, just looking at you expectantly, but never moving closer. like a good dog being told to wait. honestly, some fucked up part of your brain is telling you that it’s a little cute, always staring at you but never doing much more. you even managed to smile a little bit during one night, and it definitely wasn’t expecting you to look at it so fondly, because it looked shocked (as shocked as a wispy demon could be) and promptly disappeared. it came back the next night of course, but it was back to its original far corner of your room.

maybe it’s a little shy??

- sunny <3

entities,,,, <3 also, good... day? night? idk my sleep schedule is all over the place lol but i hope youve had a pleasant time at work! (and sorry it took me so long to get to this!)

but, well, i imagine paralysis demon yan being pretty one dimensional (pun intended!).... are sleep paralysis demons one dimensional..? mine kinda were! i think. i kinda blocked that out as much as i could! it was weird.

anyway!!!!! this is a good idea, i just don't seem to have the type of creativity to really build off of it! (if someone is reading this and does, pls pls build off of it, i will kiss you consentually) but i think it'd be fuckin terrifying to wake up and just see them laying next to you, hearing distorted panting, seeing their form squirm more than ever and they're just. staring at you.

you know that video game with the sleep paralysis demon that whispers to you? i think itd kinda be like that!! batshit terrifying. and scary. but you kinda just get used to it after a while and, well, sometimes they manage to move your blankets back into place or pick up a pillow/stuffed animal you dropped and tuck it back into your arms, sometimes you wake up with your hair in a more protective style if you went to sleep without one (highly recommend looking up sleeping hairstyles for all hair types, saved me SO MUCH time and tangles!!!)and yea, sometimes you see them when you're awake and yeah, sometimes you overhear someone who was rude to you talking about having terrifying sleep paralysis even though they've never had that issue before and yeah, if you leave snacks out specifically for them with a note attached to clarify it's for them, they're gone in the morning and yea, sometimes you can see them trying to push you down and tuck you in when you stay up too late but those are minor things!!! everyone has a completely crazy moment in their life where they have a very intense delusion their sleep paralysis demon is in love with them, right???? hahahaha (poor darling omg)

and i hope you're into somno cause that's the only way you'll be able to have sex with em. i mean, y'all've tried doing it without you falling asleep but it just leaves both of you wanting more. the faint tickly feelings that could maybe possibly be them touching you in the pitch black darkness of your room just isn't enough! and everytime y'all try, poor Yan just sits by the edge of your bed, pouting... maybe. it's hard to tell cause of the lack of a proper human face.

and just laying there while they touch you has GOT to be trippy. cause you're aware of it but also not? like being mostly asleep and unable to tell what's a dream and what's reality and you're just so comfy and warm that you don't care which is which, as long as you get to stay in bed <3

[strawberriianime]

Y/n who catches Hanma cheating she tells him she is leaving him

She tells herself he doesn’t need him

But a couple of days after she is sucking his dick and letting Hanma use her however she pleases.

♡ you got it! sorry it was so late :(

♡ cw: mature language, sexual content, 18+, gaslighting, cheating, degradation, dub con & no minors pls!

♡ miss girl is kinda dumb but yk toxic relationships

You where out running some errands thanking the heavens that your boss had given you pleasure of leaving work early. You had nothing planned today so you decided to do a little retail therapy for yourself, a little reward for working so hard. Picking up your cellphone you decided to give your boyfriend a call, but went against it so you didn't disturb him at work. Shuffling from store to store you decided to visit one last store. Walking into the lingerie store you browsed the different selections, trying to find something new your boyfriend would like. "Babe isn't this the cutest!" a girls voice rang throughout the store. "Yea baby it'll look nice on you" a familiar voice replied. Dropping the items I had picked I moved closer, following the trail of the voice. "Hanma..." your voice cracked seeing your boyfriend with another woman. "Babe do you know her?" the girl blinked in confusion. "She's just a friend" his golden eyes glanced over you. It was as if he really didn't care. Turning on you heels you ran out the store, attempting to leave Hanma in the past. You where given a week off work since your boss thought you where grieving. It was hard not to think of him. Your bed smelt like him, he has clothes in your drawer, trust he was all over your house. It's been 4 days since you seen his face, hell you haven't checked your phone since you got off work that day its been resting on the headboard. Rolling over you snuggled into you pillow once more before closing you eyes and going to sleep. Shuji Hanma would see me no more. 12:46 am *creeeek*. Sitting up you clutched your blanket, eyes scanning your room as you seen a fairly large figure making it way toward your bed. “Baby it’s just me.” You knew that voice...a voice that was sickly familiar. “Hanma...what are you doing here and how in the fuck did you get into my house?” you questioned pushing yourself farther into your headboard. “I still have a spare key.” he replied removing the clothing he had on and sliding under the sheets with you. As if none of the past events has happened, he roughly grabbed your arm pulling you towards him.  “Hanma..what are you doing.” you say attempting to pull your arm back. “Come on, you know I miss you. What other reason would I come over here?” he say pulling at the buttons of your sleep top. “I don’t think this is right. You where out with another female, you haven’t called me and you-” he cut you off by placing his lips on yours. Pushing him off, you sat up and hopped put the bed. “I think you should go.” You said crossing your arms. He sighed, placing his keys on your nightstand. “Why must you be so difficult. I’ve been busy with work so I haven’t had time to call you. That girl you seen was just a past fling. I promise this won’t happen again. You’re the one I want to be with, not the other girls but you.” He sighed looking you in your now teary eyes. “But if I must go” he added sliding his pants back on. “Wait! Don’t go...I miss you” you said  running over and gripping his hand. And that’s how he gets you every time. “Show me just how much my baby miss me.” he smirked, he had you just where he wanted. As if something had possessed your body, without hesitation you dropped to your knees. Your soft hands slid off the sweatpants he had on revealing his throbbing, needy member. Taking your hands, you licked them before placing one on his pulsating shaft. Within seconds you placed your wet lips along the dead of his twitching dick, still using your right hand to twist with a not-so-painful grip. Feeling a hand on your head, you felt him push himself down your throat causing a shower of tears to come flooding out your eyes. Placing you hand on his legs, you attempted to push yourself off as he forcefully fucked your mouth. A trail of slob began running down the side of your mouth mixing with the salty tears that formed earlier. With one last final push, you felt the salty liquid began running down your throat as he released you causing you to cough slightly. “I don’t think I feel satisfied enough.” he smirked grabbing your forearm once more tossing you onto the bed. He climbed on top of you, pulling your pants and shirt off leaving you completely exposed to his greedy eyes. He pulled both of your legs to each side of his hip as he rammed suddenly into you with enough force to make you scream. “I didn’t think a useless whore like you needed much prepping. Just look how wet you are, you like the idea of me coming to fuck you after I fucked another bitch?” he teased as he thrusted in and out of you. “It’s like your pussy was made for me and only me, you know if you’re fucking another guy I won’t hesitate to kill him.” he added grabbing your face as you where overly drunk with pleasure. “Tell me who does this this pussy belong to?” he pulled one of your legs over his shoulder, fucking you deeper than he was before. “I-It belong to you-fuck onl-ly you-u Hanma please I can’t” you wept out mind clouded with pleasure as the no good man above you fucked your brains out. It didn’t take long to reach your high as you began clenching around his dick. “Fuck. It’s like you didn’t want me to pull out.” he smirked filling you completely with his warm cum. Releasing your legs and pulling out of you he stood up and made his way to the bathroom. Your eyes felt heavy as you turn to the right to see Hanma’s phone ding with a new message popping up. Still on for tonight? was the last thing you seen before darkness had taken over you.

EXTRA

You woke up the next morning to no Hanma in sight. He didn’t even tell you he was leaving- oh right the message. Clearly he had other plans, you sat up looking at you used and sour state. Your sheets was a mess, dried cum ran along your legs and your arm was slightly purple. You reached for your phone as you saw a message on your screen. I’ll be back for more.

[kvgehiras]

waaaa i'm sure whatever you have typed up is great!! if you ever decide to post it, i'll look forward to it ♡

cough cough SO UM,,, ik this is oddly specific but i hope you don't mind aha .. a character of your choice with someone who has some important exams coming up soon, maybe?? i've like ... procrastinated like all of my work and slept through the entire few weeks before,, so i'm currently on the brink of eternal sleep (my fault, wholly, really) i don't mind who, just pick your favourite/s!!

thank you in advance!! qwq

hello again anon!! THANK U AAAA i might post it after the current event ends bcs im busy grinding lately lol but i will post it soon so i hope u like it ehe ;; as for ur schedule PLS SLEEP !!!! i do know the feeling off not doing any of ur work nd just resting but sometimes it's ok anon! studying when ur not feeling like it will only feel like a chore nd u probably wont be able to retain any of it. so study when u want to, bcs while exams r important, so r u hehe <3 anyways here r the charas!! wrote a lil scenario for mika, leo, nd rei!! hope u like it <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

KAGEHIRA MIKA

• mika overworks himself alot, mainly bcs he just wants to prove, to himself and others, that he is worthy of being a part of valkyrie

• but he still likes being a lil spoon when yall r cuddling (o˘◡˘o)

• while he is a powerful artist when hes on stage, he just melts when hes in ur arms yk!!!!

• so he doesnt mind it when lately u seem to be slacking off a bit more than usual bcs he gets more cuddles from u !!!!! #mika1stwin

• but when u suddenly stop out of nowhere nd even refuse to come out of ur room at times bcs uve procrastinated ur work too much nd if u do not finish going through ur material then ur doomed to fail nd oh lord-

• "(y/n)?"

• u look up at ur bf nd hes standing beside u- w his stuff in his hands.....?

• "ah ya see.....ya've been lookin' a lil stressed lately so i thought abt.....helpin' u like this! idk what is troublin' ya, but im here to always listen! :D"

• u break into a grin, one mika had missed so much, nd grab his cheeks to plant a kiss on his cheek

• nd still keeping ur hands where they are, u pull away to look at his bright red face

• "thank u mika... ill always be here for u too, ok?"

• nd he quickly nods, scared to meet ur eyes, esp bcs of the close proximity of ur faces rn

• what a lil baby

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

TSUKINAGA LEO

• leo is honestly the last person u want to see when ur trying to finish learning ur material,,,that too in a rush

• like!!!!! u love him u rlly do but this bitch will start doodling abt his inspiration nd all nd ur brain just cant focus yk

• that, nd also that if u dont give him Any attention At All he will literally wither away nd basically refuse to sleep nd WILL stare at u till u give him kissies (nd he alrdy doesnt sleep enough........ sigh)

• so when he wakes up in the middle of the night (the one night u managed to somehow get him to bed) nd doesnt see u in the room a part of him panics

• he quickly calls out for u nd when he hears u respond from the study room, he opens the door to see u slowly turn around from ur chair, tired, shoulders slumped over

• immediately rushing over, leo tightly wraps u in a hug, a hand running through ur hair

• "(Y/N)!!!!!!!!! WHERE WERE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THE ALIENS KIDNAPPED U!!!!?!!???!!!!!!! DONT LEAVE ME AGAINNNNNN ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• "leo it's 2 am.......nd also i didn't leave u, u know? im right here!"

• the exhaustion was very evident in ur voice, so much so that leo pulled away only to squint his eyes at u nd go "r u not ok? u sound tired ...... gasp r u DYING????????? NOOOOO U CANT DIE UR MY INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!"

• "leo thats v sweet nd while yes i Am dying im not leaving u it's ok"

• leo smiles, which turns into a grin, nd then he suddenly gasps again nd oh lord what idea is it this time

• "(y/n)!!!!! how abt i sleep here????????"

• ".....huh?"

• "YEA!!!!!! didn't u leave that room so u wouldn't disturb me?????? but im lonely so......ill just sleep on ur lap then, ok? ok! good nightttt!!!!!!!!"

• nd then he places his head on ur lap, the other half on his body relying on the chair he was previously sitting on for support

• while he isnt wrong abt the disturbance part.....he does look content here.......nd he does feel lonely so ......

• mayb u just gotta learn today what u can wing everything at this point...... it's gonna be ok . probably....?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

SAKUMA REI

• unlike the other two, rei wouldn't even have to guess that ur not doing ok, he would just Know

• nd what does he do to help? flirt w u nd get u to let him teach u obv!

• he Knows it's not rlly teaching, nd so do u, but what can u do when he looks at u w those puppy eyes of his, nd says that he'll do anything nd everything in his power to always help u

• so when he does take in whatever u have to study he..... he realises he's Also bad at this

• good job rei rlly helps out a ton!

• anyways to make up for it, nd also stick w his promise to help u, he tells u to go through the material, nd explain it to him! he heard somewhere that it works bcs it forces u to rlly understand the concept instead of memorising it nd u think it should work

• but oh god how is it supposed to work when rei keeps looking at u w stars in his eyes, nd his hand suddenly grabs urs nd he circles his thumb on the back of ur hand nd IS HE FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STUDY SESSION

• rei playfully quirks an eyebrow when he sees u get flustered nd just . lay ur head on the table w sigh nd just whine

• "REIIIIIIIII I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

• he chuckles bcs he does realise what hes doing to u nd honestly he loves ur reactions so he keeps doing it

• "fufufu.....sorry love, i'll be quiet now. go on, do ur thing." (liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur too flirty for a study session!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

• tip : never keep him in the same room as u when u have work to do . keeps flirting . too much distraction .

• ratings : 200/10 . the additional 200 points is bcs hes too cute to say no....... god he rlly has u wrapped around his finger huh

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[zwowow]

One of them wanting to confess to the other and does it via playlist 🥺 and the reaction from the other pls

Kells sends him a link to a spotify playlist at three in the morning. No text to go with it, no context at all. Just a link to a playlist made by a user called cockpunchkells and titled “no death threats, all love letters”. 

He knows it’s a callback to Killshot, but as he squints into the phone and reads through the songs, he tries to understand why Kells is sending the playlist to him, or why he made it in the first place. 

Fallin’ by Alicia Keys 

Love by Kendrick Lamar

Bad Religion by Frank Ocean 

It’s late, too late to be listening to some weird playlist Kells put together and sent to him randomly, but Em clicks on the first song and lets it play. Then he texts Kells three question marks and lays down to try and get some sleep. He doesn’t intend to really pay attention to the music, but the more he thinks about why the fuck Kells would send it to him with no accompanying text in the middle of the fucking night, the more he knows he’s not getting any fucking sleep soon. 

The first song rolls into the second and Em can’t not listen to Kendrick. After Kendrick finishes, Em is actively tuned into the music; a Frank Ocean song plays and Em is sure he’s heard it before, but never listened to the lyrics. 

You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift 

Just a Friend By Biz Markie

Still into You by Paramore

Em almost turns the playlist off when Taylor Swift comes on, but he decides to let it play. Kells sent him the playlist, so he must’ve wanted Em to have some sort of reaction to it. And it’s not like he’d meant for it to be tracks Em hasn’t heard before. He knows Em has listened to all of Kendrick’s albums, so it couldn’t be that. 

He wishes Kells would just answer his text, but the three question marks sit there, unread, seemingly purposefully ignored. 

Biz fuckin’ Markie. Em could cackle at the song choice. He hasn’t heard the song in years, but he still knows every lyric. He mouths along in the dark and tries to figure out why Kells would send this to him. 

They’ve shared a few playlists back and forth before. When they weren’t sure how to bond in the beginning of their friendship, music seemed to be the obvious answer. Em sent Kells songs he’s had on tape and stuck in his head since the kid was born, and Kells sent back new shit he swore is actually good in a way Em would like. 

So this isn’t new, but typically music sent between them came with some sort of explanation. A simple doubt you’ve heard these or how do you feel about trip hop? At the very least, the songs on the playlist were all one genre and it was easy to tell that the purpose of the playlist was to put the other person onto a specific person or type of music.  

But as Biz fades into some shit obviously made in the pop punk 2000′s, Em begins to think hard about what the fuck is going on. Genre’s all over, no explanation or text back, it's getting fucking weird. 

Power Trip by J. Cole

I Need Love by LL Cool J

Ever Fallen in Love by The Buzzcocks

J. Cole, he recognizes, and of course he knows I Need Love, but the third one is so hard to place, Em ends up missing most of the song. Some ugly sounding Brit band he can look up when he’s less close to falling asleep. Or not. He doesn’t like the song anyway. 

He doesn’t actually know why he’s listening to any of these songs, especially right now. He could be asleep. He could be doing something else, anything else besides devoting his time to this. Instead, he’s lying here in the dark thinking of what deeper meaning a bunch of randomly thrown together songs could have. For Kells. 

God, it seems like he’d do anything for the guy sometimes. They’re just friends, but Em thinks he wants more than that. Why else would he stay up this late for him? Who else would he waste energy reading into the meaning and placement of songs for, while deliberately ignoring the only thing all these songs have in common. 

They’re all about love. 

Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You by Frankie Valli 

Anyone Else but You by The Moldy Peaches 

Crush on You by Lil Kim 

Love song. Em thinks of the first one. Love song. He thinks again during the second, and snorts at a few of the lines in it. As close as Lil Kim gets to a love song, he thinks during the third. 

He doesn’t want to look too far into it, or place meaning onto something benign, but this means something, right? Em turns on his phone and reads through the list of the songs he’s already listened to. Love songs and songs about unrequited love. All of them. 

His heartbeat quickens in his chest. He skips the end of Crush on You to get to the next song, though he’s already read the title.  

Love on the Brain by Rihanna

I Hate Myself for Lovin’ You by Joan Jett

I Wanna be Your Boyfriend by Ramones

Definitely a playlist of love songs. He’d missed the theme earlier, but now it stares Em in the face while he stares into the night. 

Is this what he thinks it is? Is this what he wants it to be? 

Rihanna hands the mic over to Joan Jett. Em is done listening, there’s only one song left anyway. He switches from Spotify over to his texts with Kells, and types out another message below the one that remains unread. 

this for me? He has to ask, just to be sure. If Kells meant to make a love confession playlist, but not for him, that’s fine, but he’s not tryna tell him he feels the same way and have Kells respond that it wasn’t for him after all. 

Kells doesn’t make him wait for a response like he had with the question marks. He opens the text right as the last song opens and says it’s title almost immediately. I wanna be your boyfriend. 

yea 

There are so many things Em wants to say, so many ways he wants to respond, but it’s nearly four in the morning now, and as much as he’s anticipating what’s going to happen next between them, he can’t muster the energy for anything too serious. Instead, he sends Kells a link to a song. 

If I was your Girlfriend by Prince

He doesn’t wait for Kells to respond, just turns over and goes to sleep with a chuckle. He’ll get the message. 

[yakumtsaki]

-Finally, my darling, the spotlight is on us!

-Took long enough!

Nice try, happily-in-love-losers. We pick up where we left off, aka the shocking discovery that Shajar is attracted to Don Oates. Talk to us, Shajar, and explain wtf is wrong with you.

-I don’t want to talk about it!!

Well I see you’re heading for the bed so hopefully you’ll sleep off the brain parasite you’re clearly afflicted with.

-Ah, just guys being dudes.. Is there anything better than this?

-A fat morph that doesn’t expose my intestines when I sit down would be good.

-Wouldn’t hurt you to drop a few bro. 

-How about you drop a few.. thousands in a plastic surgeon’s office, AHAHAHAHA. Oh man I’m out of breath, maybe I should drop a few. But it would affect my tenor voice!

-ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL 🎵

-God Wulfsie, I love you so much!!! But your opera took 7 hours and I’m near death, would you mind writing my term paper while I eat??

-A literature major writing a biology term paper?? I know a good idea when I hear one!

-Aha, aha.. ok, got it.. now let’s just google ‘Bill Nye the science guy biology episodes’..

-It’s so hard to pour my heart out on the page when I know Shajar is lurking, waiting to read my diary!!!

Yea no offense Angel but I’m sure Shajar has better things to do 2 hours before finals than wait around to read your diary.

-Will that bitch go downstairs already?? I want to read her diary!

The first semester ends and two things become abundantly clear:

a) this generation really needs to hit the books.

b) I really need to hit some cc masterlists because omg @ this outwear situation.

It’s Sophies turn to pledge UUU and I’m bracing myself due to her.. um.. *unique* outlook on her fellow sims. 

-DONT EVER MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME AGAIN YOU DISCOCUCK, YOU GOT IT?? OR THEY’LL BE SCRAPING YOU OFF THIS BRICK WALL

-YOU MAKE EYE CONTACT YOU GET YOUR EYE POKED OUT, MISS HAVISHAM! WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA CRY?? HAHAHA SHE’S CRYING

Ok Soph I love that you haven’t forgotten your teen bully roots but let’s briefly turn off the misanthropy and turn on the charm for Ti-Ning and Frances, ok? 

-I can be charming!

I know you can! All sociopaths can!

-Really? ‘Chat’? Is that the best you can do? Boooring. 

-WOULD YOU FIND IT MORE INTERESTING IF I PUMMELED YOU INTO THE WALL YOU LITTLE BITCH??

Oh brother. 

OH BROTHER. ABORT, ABORT, LET’S FOCUS ON FRANCES

-Yes, do focus on Frances, so I can randomly cheat on him with Gross Hippie Dude! 

TI-NING WTF. That’s what you’ve been doing every time the pledges tried to talk to you and you ran away??? Running into GHD’s disgusting arms???

-Yes! I mean I like Frances but his hygiene is impeccable, sometimes a guy just needs to kiss a mouth that’s adorned with a bug infested beard!

Un.real. I can’t believe I was rooting for Ti-Ning for Jojo’s spouse last gen, what a piece of work. Say what you will about Wyatt, at least he never cheated!

-Um yes he did?

-With Frances!

-It was an entire plot?

NEVER CHEATED I SAID

Well I’m glad you two are somehow ~in love~ now (Prince Charles voice: ‘whatever in love means’) meanwhile Sophie did so fucking terribly pledging we’ll need a do-over. I can’t believe I have to do this 4 more times, when will my suffering end.

At least what she lacks in social skills, she makes up for in being a genius. I legit dk how this happened, she hasn’t been studying AT ALL. Sophie pls marry us!!!

-Ok I will.

REALLY???

-HAHA OF COURSE NOT. HARD PASS BITCH

-I’ll happily marry you! :)

Yea, that one you can have. 

[linkfms]

☠️    *   what  is  up,  party  people  !    i’m  jojo  (  she/her  ),  23,  and  in  the  pst  timezone.    it’s  been  a  while  since  i’ve  been  in  a  group  so...  pls  bear  with  me.    anyway,  under  the  cut  you’ll  find  more  info  on  resident  emo  boy:  link  !   i’m  so  excited  to  write  with  u  all,  and,  if  u  ever  want  to  plot  give  this  a  lil’  like  or  send  an  im  over  @  yea right#4256  !

lincoln  “link”  seong  was  spotted  in  the  fashion  district  adorning  prada  combat  boots,  with  some  airpod  pros  on.    they’re  most  likely  listening  to  when  you  were  young  by  the  killers.   you  may  know  them  as  @hyperlink  or  as  that   jeon  jungkook  lookalike.    their  twenty - fourth  birthday  just  passed.    while  living  in   tribeca,   they’ve  gained  a  bit  of  a  reputation.    they’re  known  to  be  erratic  but  on  the  other  hand   vehement.    wonder  if  they’ll  be  the  next  person  to  hit  the  headlines.   (  cis male  &   he/him  )

↳     THE  BASICS:    STATISTICS.

full  name:   seong  hyunjae  (  성  현재  )    /    lincoln  seong.

nickname:  link,  and  will  probably  only  answer  to  link  !

age  &  date  of  birth:   24  &  november  21,  1996.

hometown:   born  in  busan,  south  korea,  but  moved  to  jefferson,  connecticut  in  2006.

current  location:   tribeca,  new  york.

education:  completed  high  school  and  attempted  first  semester  of  university,  but  decided  to  pursue  music  instead.

occupation:   drummer  for  indie/alternative  rock  band,  my  time  (  sound  is  similar  to  bands  like  the  killers,  the  1975,  and  paramore  ).   also  is  an  affiliate  with  an  esports  organization  !   doesn’t  play  competitively,  but  streams  and  creates  content  for  them  weekly.

sexual  orientation:   pansexual  &  panromantic.

gender  &  pronouns:   cisgender  male  &  he/him  pronouns.

↳     THE  BACKGROUND:   BIOGRAPHY.  (   tw:  mentions  of  alcoholism  &  abuse  )

seong  hyunjae  (  later  given  the  english  name  lincoln  seong...  thanks  linkin  park  !   )   was  born  in  the  heart  of  busan,  south  korea.    his  parents  married  at  the  age  of  21,  due  to  the  cultural  expectations  of  having  a  child  born  out  of  wedlock.    while  things  seemed  to  be  smooth  sailing  for  a  while,   the  couple  realized  the  real  struggles  of  adulthood.   financial  issues  came  into  play.   stress  from  working  multiple  jobs  every  single  day  took  a  toll  on  their  mental  health,  as  well  as  their  relationship  with  each  other.   link’s  mother  began  to  develop  an  alcohol  addiction,  and  her  abusive  behavior  came  following  after.   their  home  was  falling  apart,  with  four-year-old  link  falling  asleep  to  muffled  screaming  and  glass  being  thrown  on  the  next  room  over.   his  father  was  able  to  withstand  it  for  a  while,  but  he  drew  the  line  after  coming  home  from  work  to  see  large  cuts  on  the  side  of  his  son’s  thigh,  and  a  bruise  forming  across  his  cheek.   that  was  when  he  knew  his  wife  was  dangerous.    so,  one  night  when  lincoln’s  mother  as  at  work,  he  packed  his  belongings,  grabbed  link,  and  left  without  looking  back.

for  a  while,  it  was  just  the  two  of  them.    they  found  ways  to  make  it  work,  and  despite  the  fact  that  it  was  a  constant  struggle,  his  father  never  wanted  link  to  lose  his  childhood.    in  fact,  his  father  gave  him  everything  he  could  give   —   but  most  importantly,  as  cheesy  as  it  sounds,  his  unconditional  love  and  support.    as  someone  who  lost  his  own  parents  young,  he  made  sure  that  link  would  never  feel  like  he’s  being  deprived of  that,  ever.   they  created  this  tight-knight  bond  because  of  that,  which  can’t  ever  be  broken.   and  now,  link’s  fondest  memories  always  involved  spending  time  with  his  father.    one  favorite  memory  of  his  involved  morning  jam  sessions  after  breakfast.    link’s  father  was  previously  a  lead  guitarist  in  a  garage  band  with  a  few  of  his  high  school  friends,  so  while  he  was  playing  riffs  on  his  electric  guitar,  eight-year-old  link  would  be  banging  the  coffee  table  with  plastic  straws.   

when  link  was  about  ten,  he  and  his  father  sold  all  of  their  belongings  and  moved  all  the  way  to  jefferson,  connecticut  for  a  job  offer  that  he  couldn’t  refuse.   fast  forward  a  few  years,  and  he’s  a  teenager  in  high  school.    growing  up  link  was  more  of  an  introvert,  and  would  spend  his  time  in  the  computer  lab  playing  video  games  or  browsing  in  online  forums.   he  was  a  regular  in  this  my  chemical  romance  forum  (  under  the  username  @hyperlink  ),  and  made  a  lot  of  his  lifelong  friends  over  there.    one  of  his  online  friends  jokingly  suggested  one  afternoon  that  they  should  start  a  band  over  their  nightly  skype  call,  and  while  it  was  initially  shrugged  off  as  dream  more  than  an  arm’s  reach  away,  my  time  was  born.    link  had  to  endlessly  plead  his  father  to  buy  him  a  secondhand  drum  kit  off  of  craigslist  for  christmas.   but  once  he  found  it  under  their  tree  that  year,  it  sparked  this  drive  in  him  to  learn  and  practice  nonstop. 

their  first  official  band  practice  happened  a  day  after  link’s  high  school  graduation  (  which  was  also  the  first  time  everyone  saw  each  other  in  person  !   ),  and  they  spent  that  entire  summer  making  music.   at  first,  link  only  thought  of  it  as  a  hobby...  since,  he  was  attending  his  first  year  of  university  that  fall.   but  after  playing  their  first  few  shows  and  making  all  these  memories,   he  couldn’t  keep  the  band  in  the  backburner.   he  dropped  out  not  too  long  after  to  pursue  his  music  career  full-time.   moved  out,  spent  the  next  few  months  working  long  shifts  at  the  local  amusement  park,  and  shared  one  two-bedroom  apartment  with  his  bandmates.    one  of  their  songs  went  viral  one  crazy  night,   and  the  next  thing  they  knew,  they  were  being  signed  into  a  record  label.   now  ?   they’re  one  of  the  biggest  alternative/indie  rock  bands  out  there  with  multiple  platinum  records,  sold  out  world  tours,  and  millions  of streams  each  year.   their  time  finally  came.

↳     THE  INSIDE  LOOK:    PERSONALITY.

link  definitely...  gets  babied  a  lot   (  by  his  bandmates  and  his  fans  ),   and  he  uses  that  to  his  advantage  :]   because  of  that  he  gets  away  with   a  lot  of  things,  but  it’s  usually  with  things  that  are  small  like  eating  the  last  slice  of  pizza  and  it  would  be  justified  with  “  no  he  is  a  growing  BOY  he  NEEDS  it  !  ”

that  being  said,  he  eats  nonstop.   the  guy  carries  a  sandwich  bag  full  of  cheerios  wherever  he  goes.   his  friends  know  that  if  they  can’t  finish  eating  something,  they  can  always  donate  it  to  link  for  a  good  cause.

when  my  chemical  romance  announced  their  reunion  tour  in  2019,  he  threw  his  phone  across  the  room  and  cried.   my  chemical  romance  (  with  green  day  and  linkin  park  as  a  close  second  !  )   are  his  all-time  favorite  bands,  and  a  lot  of  my  time’s  sound  is  heavily  inspired  by  them.

when  i  tell  u  that  this  man  is  so  chill,  i  mean  it.   like  things  could  LITERALLY  be  on  fire  and  he’d  be  like   “  just  throw  some  water  on  it  it’ll  be  fine  😎  ” ...  he’s  not  the  type  to  worry  about  things,  and  is  more  of  a  go  with  the  flow  type  of  person.   he  doesn’t  even  need  to  be  zooted  to  be  like  this.   KJFGDG

being  in  the  band  and  a  part  of  the  entertainment  industry  caused  a  small  shift  in  his  personality.   maybe  he  just  blossomed  ?   who  knows  !   but  because  he’s  been  exposed  to  the  rockstar  life,   he  was  able  to  open  up  more.   he’s  always  seeking  thrills,  big  or  small,  and  won’t  have  the  time  to  think  about  the  consequences  for  his  actions.  

because  the  my  chemical  romance  forum  that  was  once  his  second  home  shut  down,   he’s  since  moved  on  to  reddit.   social  media  isn’t  really  his  thing  (  and  his  fans  always  get  mad  at  him  for  posting  a  selfie  once  a  month  then  dipping  ),  but  catch  him  on  subreddits  making  comments  or  starting  fights  for  the  sheer  entertainment  of  proving  someone  wrong. 

this  might  sound  bad  but...  he  still  can’t  wrap  his  head  around  the  fact  that  he  isn’t  ?   financially  struggling  anymore  ?   even  if  he’s  already  bought  a  house  and  two  luxury  cars  for  his  dad,  he  still  gets  ticked  off  if  he  sees  something  small  like  an  APPLE   that  is  marked  a  dollar  and  a  few  cents  over  the  usual.   he  catches  himself  using  things  until  they’re  ABSOLUTELY  worn  out,  and  still  leeches  off  of  his  bandmates/friends  when  he  can.  <3   also,  if  something  is  broken,  he’ll  be  the  type  to  figure  it  out  and  fix  it  himself.

people...  don’t  exactly  remember  the  last  time  he’s  slept.   it  could  be  the  insomnia   (   it’s  definitely  insomnia,  thx  childhood   trauma  !   )  but  it’s  almost  gotten  to  the  point  where  he’s  afraid  to  fall  asleep  on  his  own.   he’ll  always  try  to  find  ways  to  sleep  in  someone’s  company,  even  if  it’s  just  him  crashing  on  a  couch  while  someone  is  watching  tv  right  there.   if  he’s  alone  though,  he’ll  always  try  to  find  ways  to  distract  himself  like  stream  for  10  hours  straight.

speaking  of  trauma...  he’s  also  scared  of  relationships.  after  witnessing  the  way  his  mother  treated  his  father,  he’s  cautious  of  history  repeating  itself...  but  with  him.  so  whenever  he  catches  himself  even  falling  for  just  a  little,  he  dips.

his  life  revolves  around  the  4  m’s:   marvel  movies,  minecraft,  music,  and  my  chemical  romance.   that’s  it.

a  link  😏   to  his  pinterest  !   also,  i  don’t  have  any  wcs,  but  if  we  plot,  i  promise  i’ll  use  my  big  brain  to  brainstorm  something  with  u.  <3

[urmomification]

WOOO POG DREAM SMP AU

theres 1.8k words and 9,393 characters of a schlatt au below the cut LMAO

[i was rambling to my friend and this is what came out of it! send me an abt it if u have questions i would love to talk abt it more pls]

(slight body horror/gore tw!!)

slams fists on table rattling any dishes on the table au where schlatt doesnt die of a heartattack and tubbo locks him up to rot basically and his horns grow into his eyes effectively blinding him and chained his hands together and basically a leash on him to keep him from moving around in his cell so he cant do anything to break the horns off before they get too long and one day when technos breaking into lmanberg he gets chased into the prison and loses them in the halls before coming across schlatts cell and schlatts calling out like 'whos there i can hear ur foot steps whos there please someone whos there' etc yk and technos speechless they thought they executed him to keep him from causing any more problems in the country but this is this is just much worse than anything he even thought theyd do and hes standing in front of schlatts cell just looking at him as if hes imagining it he knew lmanberg was bad but holy fuck they just let this man rot in a cell to the point of his own horns blinding him and giving him no aid or way to ease the pain so he makes himself known and schlatt 'ive never been so happy to see, well, hear an anarchist in my life, its good to see- hear you technoblade' and chuckles and blood runs down his face like tears would, few drops landing on his clothes before techno starts trying to get into the cell to take him out of there he cant leave him here sure he was an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but he had standards and now that schlatt wasnt in power he had nothing against him really considering he isnt a citizen of lmanberg so he manages to pick the locks enough to get him out of there, schlatts arm slung over technos shoulder they stumble out of the prison building and as they slowly make their way to the nether portal to get back to technos base, they run into tubbo and quackity, schlatts old right hand men and they try to stop techno bc hes well an anarchist terrorist w a murder record but the glare techno gives them levels them and theyre left staring at each other for a moment when schlatt 'whyre we stopped whos there tech' and techno mumbles 'tubbo and quackity schlatt' and schlatt just furrows his brows as far as he can without sending excruciating pain into his eye sockets before he purses his lips and asks 'are they going to try and stop us?' techno looks back at the other two 'no they wont, isnt that right boys?' tubbo and quackity slink away allowing techno and schlatt to the portal and them going thru, schlatt still silent as he tries not to trip over technos cape or off the ledge of the bridge passing over the lava lakes, they make it to the portal and begin the walk across the arctic tundra to technos house, philza isnt there right now so its just the two of them and techno leads him up the ladder to his room (its not really a room i think its just a bed, a bell and an enchantment table) and sits him down on his bed mumbling something abt being right back and he is with some medical supplies and a change of clothes to clean everything up, they dont talk techno works in silence and when schlatt winces he mumbles a small apology before continuing eventually techno got schlatt as cleaned up as you can get someone w horns in their eyes and a sweater to keep him warm and finally starts asking questions 'how long had u been in there' 'lost count' 'did they bring you food' 'a chests worth at the beginning of the month' techno sighs 'i thought they executed you' 'tubbo chickened out despite me being 'an active threat to our peace in lmanberg' and locked me up a few days after u set the withers loose and dropped off a chest of food once a month and most of them refused to talk to me others couldnt even make eye contact with me, other than the few instances where they said things like 'heres ur food' or 'u deserve this' or 'i cant believe tubbo let u live' i talked to no one other than myself for however long i was in there' techno stands and walks around for a moment before flipping some pages and schlatt can hear him gasp quietly in mild surprise 'what is it tech' looking in the direction he heard techno from and techno says, turning to face schlatt on his bed 'schlatt that was almost 3 months ago' a single beat of silence rings for what feels like forever 'oh. i, i didnt think itd been that long. though it would explain my current predicament' loosely gesturing towards his face 'oh right abt that i have a few questions if ur ready to answer some' schlatt hums and techno grabs a pen and paper and sits next to him in case he needs to take any notes for future reference 'how fast do ur horns normally grow' 'idk just a steady amount my whole life pretty much' 'will they ever stop growing' 'they generally stop growing around 30 and continue to grow more in width than length' 'did anyone who brought u food notice' 'they grow quickly and by the time the person w the third chest came around they were getting close to my eyes but they didnt listen to me, no one did' he sighs looking down at would be his hands 'the odds of both of my horns growing into my eyes and blinding me like this are so low but of course it would happen to me' a chuckle void of any amusement 'because losing my country and my people and my power wasnt enough already' techno stands up 'you had that coming' schlatt actually laughs this time, short and curt 'ok fair, u were the one that took me down afterall' and from then on schlatt lives w techno and phil and eventually tommy and then without tommy (tommy was Not happy when he found out that schlatt was living with techno but he needed somewhere to stay too and techno happens to live in an arctic tundra where only a handful of people know how to get to so he didnt complain too much) and eventually techno saws off schlatts horns at the bend adn removes them from his eyes bc if they kept growing into his head theyd hit his brain and kill him on top of blinding  him and techno gags and almost throws up despite not being sensitive to gore  and gives schlatt a bandanna to cover the holes in his head for everyones sake and once they heal somewhat he can find something else out and thats how they live, schlatt helps with what he can like farming w phil but mostly spends his time learning braille or something so he can read and techno gets him books in braille so he isnt bored or alone like he was in the prison and he feeds him and takes care of him and schlatt is funny and entertaining despite being blinded by something from his own body and the torture it was like to rot in a cell alone for almost a 1/4 of a year and nights when techno gets home late and hes shaken and the voices are bad schlatt will sit behind him and play with his hair and talk abt his own day and rub technos back and in return when schlatt relapses and gets violent and angry techno will wash his hair and read him stories until he calms down and hopefully asleep and no one told him the news that wilbur died so when ghostbur shows up and starts talking to him he treats him the same as he would wilbur bc he cant see that hes a ghost all thats different is his speech pattern and overall personality and one day he says 'ur different wilbur what happened to that, i dunno spark u used to have' and wilbur simply 'im not sure if im being honest a lot abt me has changed since i died, or so im told i dont remember much from when i was alive' and schlatt just 0_0 and then hes scrambling down the ladder and stumbling around the house looking for techno, finding him in the basement working on something and when he gets there hes out of breath and his hands are shaking bc holy shit wilburs not only dead but a ghost and he was just talking to me and he doesnt remember what i did and and and and techno is shocked to see schlatt in the basement and asks whats up and schlatt just 'wilbur died wilbur fucking died tech why didnt anyone tell him and now hes a ghost hes a fucking ghost who lives in ur house and doesnt remember anything he doesnt remember that he blew up lmanberg does he he remembers my name but not anything that i did what hes a fucking ghost techno hes a ghost holy fuck' and technos just standing there like ??? no one no one told him 'yea philza had to kill him after he blew up lmanberg i thought u knew thats why i didnt say anything' oh. 'phil, phil had to kill him?' 'yea its a touchy subject, dont bring it up' and simply goes back to what he was working on so schlatt sits on the ground by the ladder and listens to him work his brain going a mile a minute trying to comprehend whats going on 'would i have become a ghost if theyd chosen to execute me?' 'its hard to say im unsure if theres specific circumstances that contribuite to someone becoming a ghost but theres really no telling' and goes back to working yet again and from then on they fall into an easy schedule of techno going out and doing whatever an anarchist terrorist w a murder record does on ur average wednesday and schlatt stays home reading and organizing whatever he can based on size and feeling and sleeping in windowsills and schlatt greeting techno comes home beaten up and full of new resources and a side of bruises and cuts so he tends to them, getting better at maneuvering and functioning without needing to see then techno making dinner and then curling up by the fire for the night enjoying each others company as they talk abt their days :]

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[smolteabirb]

🎸

Thanks for the ask loocy :3 you will also get T̷̎͊ͅh̶͉̆̿ͅë̶̗͇́͜ ̴̡̍V̶̪̞̈́̌͜ī̵͕̑b̴̭̂͠e̸͖̬͙̿͋̏s̵͕͂̃͜ playlist bc it has better chances of me going omg i love this song yes okay i want u to know abt it 🤣

Grace by Lewis Capaldi IM NOT READY TO BE JUST ANOTHER OF YOUR MISTAKES DONT WANNA LET THE PIECES FALL OUT OF PLACE I WAS ONLY JUST A BREATH REMOVED FROM GOING TO WASTE TILL I FOUND SALVATION IN THE FORM OF YOUR GRACE ... i am not overexaggerating when i say that this is the og soul snatcher like i gotta drop whatever im doing turn up the volume to the fullest and just vibe for the 3 minutes and 4 seconds it lasts

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac my best friend has been telling me to check out FM for ages and i finally caved in, i dont regret it, tho i only have the most uh... popular ones atm lol

An Act Of Kindness by Bastille at first i was like... this song is weird :/ but then i listened to it again... and again... and again... (not consecutively lol) and it grew to my heart... and now its in T̷̎͊ͅh̶͉̆̿ͅë̶̗͇́͜ ̴̡̍V̶̪̞̈́̌͜ī̵͕̑b̴̭̂͠e̸͖̬͙̿͋̏s̵͕͂̃͜ is bc it is *that good* it has a cool beat and i love the lyrics and uh yea

Big Bad World by Kodaline now its time to stop the lil pretentious dummy in my brain from telling me this is basic bc i rlly enjoyed this band like... a couple of months ago. and uh yea i love the chorus it has That One Partᵀᴹ that i vibe w so much

Fake It by Bastille MY LOVER MY LOVER MY LOVER MY LOVE WE COULD NEVER GO BACK WE CAN ONLY DO OUR BEST TO RECREATE DONT TURN OVER TURN OVER THE PAGE WE SHOULD RIP IT STRAIGHT OUT AND THEN WE'LL TRY OUR VERY BEST TO FAKE IT listen i love this song so much im not even gonna say anything else ahhh

Chew On My Heart by James Bay IIIIII WANNA BE IN YOUR TOUCH SLEEP IS SO TOUGH YOURE BURNING UP MY MIIIIND WHAT WOULD IT FEEL LIKE IF YOU TORE ME APARR COME ON CHEW ON MY HEART COME ON CHEE ON MY HEARTTTTTR james rlly snapped w this one, the first time i heard it i was slightly put off bc then james was just *hold back the river dude* (smh at old me) and the difference between the two was like huge to the poor me who didnt know much either way i gave it a full listen and caved in (also if you do check it out pls dont look at the live performances i love james but he wrote that song too difficult for live performaces)

Why Can't I Change by Passenger a lighthearted song abt how its quite strange that one keeps their essence despite all that life brings... its not a soul snatching, spontaneous dancing kind of vibes song but its very cute and calming and i love it very much :3

[wildflowergrant]

initials of you || ethan dolan x reader

A/n: whoooo!!! first fic on this blog. pls give me feedback I would love it a lot.

Summary: You never were of a fan of people getting initials or names of their significant other tatted on them, but that is exactly what Ethan did.

warnings: cursing

 Grayson was about to go and get a tattoo next and of course, Ethan said he’ll go with him even though he didn’t know what to get.  But then, he thought of one that’ll make his girlfriend hate him (for only like a day).  Your initials tatted right on his ankle.  He remembers what she said a few months ago when he was thinking on what to get as a tattoo

“I don’t know, Ethan.” You said while tossing around the bed. “It’s late. Just ask Grayson.” “But Gray doesn’t have the same style as me.  He’s going to give me something colorful and it’ll ruin my vibe.”

“Hm I don’t know E I can talk about it in the morning when my brain can give you a good answer. Right now let’s just sleep.” Your eyes were slowly shutting into sleep until you felt he started talking again.

“Maybe I should get your initials tatted on me..” Your eyes opened wide and you sat up facing him. “NO” He starts to laugh at your sudden movements then went on saying “Why, what’s the big deal? I was joking anyway.”

“I don’t know, i just feel like it’ll jinx our relationship if you get it.  I see all those guys with girl’s names tatted on them and they’re like ‘oh, yea we broke up.’ And I don’t want that to happen to us.”

“Ok, I guess I have a superstitious girlfriend.” you roll your eyes while he lays down on the bed and pulled you closer. “But now I’m ready to sleep. We’ll think of one tomorrow.”

He started smiling at the thought of it and decided that he’ll buy a custom temporary tattoo of the initials when he gets there and make a prank video about it.

The day came and in the morning, he grabbed one of the cameras and went into the guest house to do the intro.

“Hey guys, by the title of this video you would already know that I’m going to prank my girlfriend with her initials tatted on me.  I already know that she will hate it because she told me a while back that she won’t allow me to do that.” He was talking with a mischievous grin the whole entire time.  “Oh yeah, I’m in our guest house right now because she’s still sleeping in our bed and I don’t want her to wake up and find out.  And today she’s going out to brunch with her friends which is perfect so Gray and I will go to after she leaves.” He stops recording and goes back to the house where you were already getting ready in the bathroom.

________________________________

At the tattoo place (i forgot what we call it ahhh), Grayson already got his tattoo and Ethan got an actual tattoo on his thigh.  But it was time to go back because Y/N was about to come home soon.

(In the car)

Ethan pulls out his camera. “Ok guys, we just came back from getting new tattoos and we’re rushing because I need to do something before Y/N gets home.”

“Guys, I don’t even know what he’s doing he just rushed us out there and now he’s telling me to drive faster, which I can’t” Grayson said while keeping his eyes on the road.

“Trust me, Gray.  Do it for Y/N.  You’ll find out when we get home.”

And soon enough, they got home and he brought the temporary tattoo to the kitchen where Grayson was standing.  His eyes went wide and even in the camera you could see the fumes coming out of his nose and ears.

“ETHAN! SHES GOING TO FREAK OUT!” E started laughing.

“Exactly, that’s the whole point of the prank.  Plus, it’s temporary so it’ll come off.”

“Well, I already know that you’re going to ask me to help you put it on, but I’m not going to help you.” “Why?” “Because I don’t want any part in this. Bro, she’s going to get so mad at not only you, but even me.”  Which is true, because although you seemed like you couldn’t even hurt a fly, when you get mad, you get mad.

Ethan rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom to try and put it on successfully.  After reading the directions for the longest time he put it on and waited for a few minutes.

“Okay guys, I think it’s done.”  He peels of the paper off and his jaw drops “Ohhohho my god guys… It looks so real.” He shows the full view of the tattoo.  It was a small tattoo on his ankle with the other cluster of his tattoos.  It was in a simple font and he actually thought that it looked so good that he wanted to get it permanently tatted on.  But he had to see your reaction first.

He showed Gray and all he did was shake his head and roll his eyes. Ethan went to put on saran wrap to make it look more real and give the impression that he really just got it.  After about five minutes, you came back and he was just casually sitting in the living room, hiding cameras all around the room and your guys’ room.

“Hey, E I’m back.  How was it?” You asked while sitting next to him on the couch kissing him on the cheek and waiting to see it.

“Good, do you want to see it? You’ll really like it.” You were smiling and he put up his ankle and began to take off the saran wrap.  When you saw it, it took a while to figure out it was.  But then, your face was slowly fading from a smile to a mixture of anger and disappointment.  

Your hand goes to cover your mouth then they both go up. “You got my initials tatted on you?! What the fuck Ethan!” He starts laughing a bit because he can’t keep it in. “Don’t you dare laugh.  You already know that I didn’t want my initials on you.” You say standing up and pointing your finger at him.  Gray tries to pass through the hall to go to his own room where he will be safe from you, but you already saw him. When both your eyes met, Grayson knew this was the end for him.  No reasoning will make you not mad at him.  

“And you!  You were with him and you still let him get that?!” there was poison in your voice and fear in his eyes.”I-I-”

“That’s right, no explanation.  I am so disappointed and frustrated with you guys… my god.” Ethan looked at each of the cameras in the room with his turtle face as you were walking to your guys’ shared room.  

“Y/N, wait.  Come on it’s not a big deal.  And it’s not like I’m going to break up with you; I want to stay with you.” “It’s not that, E.  It is a big deal. And I know that we will stay together but it just makes me anxious that we will end up like those couples that will break up and you will still end up with that. It just makes me think abut stuff I don’t want to think about and that tattoo doesn’t help.” And with that you shut the door.

“Babe, hold on.” With a smile still on his face, he goes into the bathroom and washes the tattoo off, pics up one of the cameras, and goes back to the door of the bedroom.  “Open the door, Y/N. It was just a temporary tattoo.”

“… are you kidding me.” You didn’t open the door but it could be heard through the door. “No I’m not.  Now please let me talk to you.” A few seconds later the door opens.  You saw the camera and immediately put your hands in embarrassment and went back to flop on the bed.  You just snapped at both of them right in front of everyone.

Ethan pointed the camera at you and started laughing. “I can’t believe that actually worked oh my goooddd.”

“E, you literally scared me to death I was thinking like ‘oh my god how am I going to live with this.’” Both of you started laughing. “Aww I’m sorry Y/N.  But you went off.”  You smiled and looked up at him.  “Damn, I did, didn’t I.”  You saw Grayson peeking through, still obviously slightly frightened from you a few minutes ago.  “Gray, I’m so sorry.  But you should’ve seen the look on your face.” He went into the room. “Dude, I didn’t have an explanation because I was going to spoil the prank. And E gave me the most threatening stare.”

“I even said that I didn’t want to help him with any of this because I didn’t want you to get mad at me or anything, which ended up with you still getting mad at me.”  Ethan cut him off before he could say anything.

“Ok ok I think that’s enough for you so get out and let me talk to my girl.” And he pushed Gray out, closed the door, and stopped recording. He jumped on the bed and wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry” “It’s ok.  Just don’t ever scare me like that ever again.” “Ok.” He kissed you on the neck. “Let’s stay like this.  It’s comfortable.”

He could see you go on twitter and type:

    Ethan got me good guys.  He got me good.

He smiled to himself but didn’t say anything about it.

“Yeah I did.” He said aloud shouting in your ear.

You did an immediate faceplam.

A/n: AHHHHH IM SO MAD AT HOW THIS ENDED IDK ITS JUST AWKWARD T.T tell me how you guys like it

Tag List: Tell me if you guys want to be in my tag list!

[cogneartive]

The Beach Boys go to the Museum

A crackfic. Read if you want to immediately lose all your brain cells.

---

    Once upon a time, Brian Wilson was daydreaming about girls going to the museum which was very educational. More educational than daydreaming about girls which is good for you which is why he was daydreaming about going to the museum instead of girls. 

    “Yoo hoo brothers!” he said. 

    “What is it, big brother?” shouted Dennis and Carl Wilson from another part of the Beach Boys ResidenceTM

    “I have decided to go to the museum which is a very educational activity for us to do which will be beneficial for us,” said Brian. “I will call our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine.”

    “Oh ok, big brother,” the two younger Wilsons said. “As soon as we get out of the shower and clothe ourselves (which will probably align with the arrival of our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine), we shall take off in the Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum as you wish.”

T I M E S K I P

    “Incredible,” said Carl Wilson. “We have finished showering and being clothed just as our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine, have arrived.”

    “Now we can go to the  Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum Brian Wilson, my big brother, wishes.”     “I hate this story,” said Michael Edward Love, a man with no taste.

“Do not attempt to break the fourth wall,” said Brian Douglas Wilson, extremely annoyed at Mike Love’s lack of taste.

“Harrumph >:( !” harrumped Michael Edward Love.

Suddenly, Bruce Arthur Johnston appeared out of Norway. “May I come too?”

“Permission accepted,” said Al Jardine

T I M E S K I P

    The beach boys arrived at the Museum of Interesting Plot which interested them very much. They headed into the museum, where they bumped into GASP! The Beatles - an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960 with a line-up comprising John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, who are regarded as the most influential band of all time. 

    “THE BEACH BOYS!” the bug boys ejected.

    “THE BEATLES!” the sand children exclaimed.

    “What a coincidence that we have bumped into you guys in the exact same museum,” said John Lennon. “I bet you were trying to sneak behind us and steal our songwriting ideas >:O”

    “Absolutely not >:O” said Brian Wilson, putting his hands on his hip in a gesture of frustration. “I bet YOU were trying to sneak behind us and steal OUR songwriting ideas”

    “We were not >:O” said Sir James Paul McCartney.

    They started fighting and in the moment of anger, they broke!! The statue of David (not Crosby unfortunately for the statue of David Crosby has cursed the museum for over a century now)!!!!!!!

    “HEY” said The Manager of The Museum (which was an unfortunate name given to him by his parents sad emoji)

    “Oh no” said Brian Wilson.

“Oh no” said Carl Wilson.

“Oh no” said Dennis Wilson.

“Oh no” said Mike Love.

“Oh no” said Al Jardine.

“Oh no” said Bruce Johnston.

“Oh no” said George Harrison.

“Oh no” said Paul McCartney.

“Oh no” said Ringo Starr

“Yoko Ono?” said John Lennon. “My wife in the future, depending on the era.”

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” THERE WAS A CAR CRASHING INTO THE MUSEUM WHICH BROKE THE STATUE OF DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

IT WAS THE POOR MONKEES!!! IN THE MONKEE MOBILE!!!

“Ouchies!” said Micky Dolenz.

“OMG” said The Manager of The Museum (who happened to also be a clone of  Ringo Starr) He was angry. Very angry. So angry, that he was angry. “You guys better pay for this.”

“But we can’t,” said the Beatles (for Brian Epstein did not give them their allowance that day)

“We can’t either,” said the Beach Boys (for they had already spent enough on getting a nintendo switch to play animal crossing: new horizons.

This is left the poor, poor Monkees. “Bruh we poor af.”

“Then you have to work to pay for it smh,” said The Manager of The Museum.

“OH NO!” said all of them at once.

“You must go around the museum to find three fragments of the broken statue that you have broken, which somehow have been transported into the museum which you must complete challenges to get!”

“Like Dora the Explorer?” asked George Harrison, the youngest member of the Beatles. 

    “Yea,” saidThe Manager of The Museum. “Ok bye im gonna play animal crossing: new horizons now :))))))”

    “Ok. We must split up into three groups.”

BEACH BOYS SECTION - THE HALL OF THINGS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WATER

    “Wow, how convenient is that we have coincidentally walked into the hall of things that have to do with water,” said Denny Wilson. “It is as this was planned.”

    And then…………………….”oh my god a wave,” said M*ke Love.

    “QUICKLY INTO THE BEACH GEAR” shouted Brian Wilson as they proceeded to use the sims animation to change into their beach gear. “NOW WE MUST.,,,,,,,,,,,,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,.,”

“We thro Dennise into da water bc he is da only 1 who can surf XD” said Mke Luv as he tossed Deniise into da water liKE A BOSS AND HI-FIVES ALL ROUND WAPOOSH WAPOOSH TAHK YOU GUYS FOR WATCHING AND I’LL SEE U IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! *outro plays*

“Ahem,” said Ctrl. “We did not bring a surfboard,,,,,,,,so how is he supposed to surf??? Thonk emoji. Lmfao roasted XD”

“We use (drumroll pls) AL SARDINE as Da Surfboard Lmao!!!” said Miiiiiike lov e as they all jumped on Al Jardine.

“I did not feel a thing, lol” said ALAN JARDINE because he was a super strong boy (stock image of a blond guy flexing his muscles).

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

“Bruh we reusing animation bro,” said Denal Wilson.

“Oh look an island,” said Brain. Dey all hopped off and landed on the island. On the island was Kurt Cobain.

“Wow Mr Kurt Cobain,” said Broose Honda. “I did not know you lived on dis island.”

“I don’t rofl,” said Coq Au Vin as he handed them a statue fragment.

“Oh wow thx Coco Van,” as they flew away.

MONKEE SECTION - THE HALL OF….I DONT KNOW

    “Lmao is that Stephen Arthur Stills, an American singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist best known for his work with Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young,” joked Micky Dolenz, pointing to a mirror in front of Peter Tork.

    “Lol yeah,” said Stephen.

    Micky screamed.

    “Here you go broski,” said Stephen Stills, handing them a fragment.

    “But what did we do?” asked Mike Nesmith.

    “Allowing the author to make the awful, often repeated annoying joke about me and Peter Halsten Thorkelson looking like identical twins.”

    “Ok thanks brewski,” said the Monkees as they headed off. “Come on Peter, don’t just stand there.”

    “But I’m Stephen.”

    “Wait,” said Davy. “But Peter was standing there just now.”

    “No, I was standing there.”

    The Monkees looked at each other and had a collective sigh. It was not gonna be as easy as they thought.

    And to make this complication more complicated, the author decided to make David Crosby, Graham Nash and Neil Young walk into the scene.

    “Bro Stephen wtf,” said Neil. “I knew you were small but I didn’t think you could crawl into the vents like that.”

    “But I’m Peter??????????”

    “Oh no not again,” said Graham Nash, already getting another headache.

    “Wait, wait wait, just a moment,” said Davy Jones. “Go back a bit. What do you mean by crawling through the vents.”

    “Please do not question the plot,” threatened David Crosby. 

    “YUH DAVY” said Micky. “Come on now, Peter,” - he grabbed Peter’s hand -” we gotta advance the plot.”

    “But I’m Stephen.”     Micky looked at him with such an expression that expressed a deep amount of hatred for the author. “It doesn’t matter. You guys are the same person anyway.”

The other lads shrugged and took poor Peter Halsten Dorkelson who was too confuzzled and befuddled and bamboozled to be crying.

BEATLES SECTION - THE HALL OF PAPERWORK

    “This is so boring,, (-_-)” said Jawn Jennon. “I think George Harrison fell asleep.”     “L M A O i did rofl lol,” said Heorge Garrison.

    “I am surprised because there is so much paperwork lying about that all look so boring!!” said Paul McEyelash.

    “Someone should clean this up smh,” said Ringone Starone.

    “YAAWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!” they all sed at 1nce. That yawn pushed a stack of paper off a table, which caused a chain reaction, leading to a bucket falling down, a train being activated, a cow mooing and the members of Queen being awoken from their frozen-in-som-kind-a-tube state.

    “BRO WTF WHOMST WOKE US UP (((p(>o<)q)))” said Roger Taylor, stretching. “I was still having my beauty sleep.”

    “(O.O) omg (O.O)(O.O) oh mah gawd (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)” said Freddie Mercury. “Are those (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) the legendary (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) bug boys????????”

    “Ja” said gH.

    “ヽ(★ω★)ノ” said Brian May

    “(¬_¬") smh you woke up my cheese toast,” said John Deacon.

    “I guess, we should thank u for waking us up,” said Freddeh.

    “We wuz nevah gonna wake up,” said Briaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Mei.

    “Take dis,” Rogah Taylah gave them a statue fragment that had landed in his hair.

    “Wow thanks that was EZ lmao,” said the bug boys as they went away.

T I M E S K I P

    “（●＾o＾●）” said The Manager of the Museum as he stuck the broken statue fragments of the broken statue of the Museum of Interesting Plot Idea (well I think that what it was called Lmao I didn’t check don’t correct me doe lel)

    “It was’t very challenging at all doe…” said Sand Children. “And for a story with out name in the title, we did not seem to get much attention at all.”

    “Shut up you’ll get your moment later,” said the others pointing down to the rest of the story. “See look at that.”     “None of this is very good,” said Mike Hate, a man with no taste.

    They all went into their respective vehicles and drove away.

    “WAIT!!!!!!” said Dave Jone of the Monkees, pausing the time. “We did not resolve the plot point of us actually kidnapping Steven Stills?????”

    “Help me,” said Stepe.

    “STFU IT’S OUR STORY (◣_◢)” said the beach of the boys, so infuriated with them that smoke came out of their ears like a boiling kettle and their eyes started glowing red which indicated anger.

    “Oh ok sorry lel, he’s British Lol,” said Mike Nesmith.

    “STFU Myke Gessmith.”

    “;~;” said Mike Nukesmith.

    “Y do u guys always have to take the spotlight?!” asked the Beaky Bubs.

    “Bc we’re the author’s favourites, unfortunately,” said Micky, shivering at the memories of what had happened to them before in previous crack fics.

    “Sux for u lmao.”

    Uh how to end dis. Boom. Story done lel.

    THE END FADE TO BLACK

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.Al Barmine

[huphilpuffs]

flares

chapter: 30/? summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy. word count: 4760 rating: mature warnings: chronic illness, chronic pain, medicine a/n: As always, immense thanks to @obsessivelymoody for beta’ing!

Ao3 link || read from beginning

It’s too early when Phil gets out of bed to get ready for work.

His arm slips from around Dan’s waist. He presses a quick kiss to Dan’s shoulder before crawling out from behind him. The alarm clock on the bedside table tells Dan it’s just past seven in bright red lines that make his eyes burn. 

He’s been staring at them since they said 5:27.

He’d woken up to a sharp breath that made his chest ache, tears in his eyes and sticky on his cheeks. His feet were numb and his hands all prickly with sleep and he’d stared into the black of Phil’s bedroom for long minutes waiting for his body to recover from whatever it was that woke him up. It had taken him until two to fall asleep last night.

Dan didn’t fall asleep again.

His legs ache now that they’re not sleepy. His arm hurts from having his weight on it for so long. Without Phil’s body holding him up, Dan rolls onto his side. It makes the muscles in his chest spasm, has him choking on nothing and groaning into the silence.

Phil comes over to the edge of the bed, reaching out to brush his fingers across Dan’s forehead.

“You okay?” he whispers. 

Dan’s eyes get teary again. He blames the too-tight feeling wrapped around his heart, the thoughts that have been circling the back of his mind for the last two hours. His body hurts from not having slept and his brain keeps telling him that his mum was right, it is all his brain’s fault, that’s what Dr. Kissel will tell him today.

He reaches up, snags Phil’s hand to hold on tight, and hums something that isn’t quite affirmative.

It’s the best he can muster this morning.

A frown draws at Phil’s mouth. He leans down, pressing a quick kiss to Dan’s forehead. And then a second one, like he doesn’t really want to pull away.

Dan doesn’t want him to. If this broken feeling wasn’t so perpetual, he might ask Phil to call in sick and stay home with him, keep him company when the drone of TV programs isn’t enough to keep him out of his own head. But Phil’s done a lot. Dan’s needed a lot.

He hopes that’ll diminish today. 

Hope’s never been his strong suit before doctor’s appointments.

He tugs on Phil’s hand until he leans down, fringe tickling Dan’s brow, and kisses him, soft and gentle and slow.

And then he lets Phil go.

---

Dan: i hate weekdays

Phil doesn’t respond. Not that he should. Dan knows he probably has to do extra since he’s leaving early to come to Dan’s appointment. That doesn’t keep him from flicking his phone on and off over and over again for too many minutes after he sends the message.

It’s been a long morning. The clock on his phone tells him it’s only half eleven and Dan almost wants to cry. 

There’s four and a half hours until his appointment. He’s been staring into space for so long his brain is starting to go numb and yet there’s too much going on inside his mind to focus on anything else.

He’d considered sitting down, rambling into the void, also known as his laptop webcam, again. It helped last time. But it feels almost silly, when he’s by himself, without Phil to recommend he do it. That, and the idea of setting any of it up sounds like way too much effort today.

He double taps the screen, copies the message and sends the exact same thing to Taylor.

His phone vibrates when she responds. It stings the skin of his palm, feels like it rattles the bones in his wrists. He doesn’t much care.

Taylor: why?

Dan: phil’s not home

Dan: and my appts this afternoon and i cant stop thinking about it

He swallows, looking back up to stare at the TV. He’s definitely seen this episode of Doctor Who before, probably on another day like today, watching the endless marathons of the same few shows for hours on end when his body doesn’t really let him do much else.

His brain can’t process it today. It’s too busy replaying every appointment he’s ever had in the most painful sort of slow motion.

Taylor: :(

Taylor: i know that feeling

Dan: yea well it sucks

He rests his phone on his leg, where the pressure makes a dull ache bloom like a new bruise. His thumb hovers over the home button until the three little dots of Taylor’s typing pop onto the screen. He watches, because it’s better than staring at white walls and waiting for minutes to tick by.

Taylor: want some company? 

Taylor: I know i’m not phil but I also don’t have a job

Dan: pls

---

He has to stand up to let her into the flat.

His steps are slow. The blanket he has wrapped around his shoulders flutters over his skin and leaves phantom burns in its wake. His hand almost feels too weak to turn the doorknob when he gets there. There’s a stabbing pain in his wrist that makes it feel like it might shatter as it twists.

Taylor’s smiling on the other side. It falters, just slightly, when she sees him.

“I’d hug you hello, but you look like you’re dying,” she says. 

Dan manages half, or maybe a quarter of a smile. “Feel like it too.”

He leads her back to the sofa, still limping. Walking past the breakfast bar reminds him he hasn’t had anything to eat today, and barely a few sips of water to drink. The thought makes his stomach churn, something burning at the back of his throat. He won’t eat until after the appointment.

Maybe later, if it goes poorly.

Probably later.

Taylor tucks herself against the armrest as Dan sits down, knees drawn up to her chest, face pressed against one. Being sat with her, like this, reminds him of being back in uni. Except she looks better. There’s less darkness under her eyes and less oil in her hair, and Dan wishes he could relate.

His whole body feels heavy. Worse than it did even then.

“That bad, huh?” says Taylor. 

“Can’t sleep,” says Dan. “I don’t know what to expect.”

“So you’re expecting the worst?”

He can’t be bothered to nod. The corner of Taylor’s mouth quirks up knowingly, and she reaches out to rest a hand right by Dan’s knee, without touching. 

“We should talk about something else,” she says. “Something happy. Keep your mind off it for a while.”

“Like what?”

She shrugs. “Just tell me something good that happened? My therapist makes me do it sometimes.”

“Oh,” says Dan. He stares down at the table, where his phone’s resting, screen down, and his laptop’s closed. His hand curls tight around his blanket. 

When he looks back up at Taylor, her brow’s furrowed, smile fallen into a straight line. “You look like you’re thinking about something,” she says.

“I am,” Dan mumbles. He swallows, thumb sweeping across the fleece of his blanket until his fingertip’s gone tingly. “Phil kissed me.”

Taylor’s jaw drops. Her eyes go happy. She reaches over, actually touches Dan this time, just enough to grab his hand and squeeze it once in glee. “Oh my god. That’s, like, the best kind of happy,” she says. “It is happy, right?”

Dan wants to point out that he wouldn’t have mentioned it if it wasn’t, but the smile on her face finally has his anxiety unfurling just enough for him to breathe a little easier. Maybe Taylor’s therapist actually has some useful ideas. 

He forces himself not to follow that thought to the next, the ones saying maybe all he needs is therapy over and over again in his mum’s voice in the back of his head.

“Yeah, it’s happy,” he says. “You know that.”

“And you’re not having some sexuality crisis you need me to talk you through?” she says, half laughing now. “I’ve been there. I can try to help.”

Dan actually manages half a chuckle, like he did when she first told him she liked girls, halfway through a complaint about how everyone at uni somehow had a love life except them. “Reckon I got over that when he started kissing my head all the time,” he says. “Thanks for the offer though.”

She nods, still holding his hand, staring at the side of his face with a smile. “So this is just happy, right? No inner turmoil about what it means or anything?”

It’s been so long since Dan’s had anything be that simple that his brain doesn’t quite grasp the concept. He almost tells her no, just because it makes more sense, because his brain is really good at finding problems where there’s probably non right now. 

It doesn’t feel like he can be just happy now.

But then he thinks about the soft goodnight kiss Phil brushed against his lips before they went to bed to bed last night, and an actual smile cracks past the fear. 

“Yeah,” he tells her. “That’s just happy.”

---

They talk about Phil for a while.

It’s easy, with Taylor, to just ramble about sleepy cuddles and soft kisses and the way it all makes him feel good for the first time in ages. It reminds Dan of being twelve again, before everything went wrong and his body broke and any chance at normalcy crumbled before his very eyes. 

Maybe there is room for a sexuality crisis, if he thinks too hard about the crushes he might have had if he’d been healthy.

Dan doesn’t think about it. He lets his head fall back against the sofa and feels his thoughts lapse into everything that came after age twelve. His story about their kiss ended a bit ago, faded into discussions about where he wants things to go from here, and then into silence.

There’s a lot of things Dan wants now. Most of them have nothing to do with kissing Phil.

“Hey,” says Taylor. He’s not sure how long they’ve just been sitting here, but her smile has fallen into a frown. “You okay?”

He shrugs. Vaguely, he processes that people are still talking on the TV, that Taylor’s hand has fallen to rest on his knee. “Just thinking.”

“Not about happy things?”

His chest burns when he chuckles. The rush of giddy conversation has faded, left Dan’s body more exhausted now than it was before. He almost wants to nap, except he knows his brain wouldn’t let him. Days like today are just days where he’s meant to be sore and tired and feel all of it acutely.

“No,” he says. “Not about happy things.”

Taylor squeezes his knee. It hurts. It’s comforting anyway. 

“Do you want me to try and distract you with more happy things?”

“Don’t think you can,” he admits. “I think I’ve used up all my happy energy for today.”

His head falls back again, gaze drifting up to the ceiling. His vision goes blurry. It’s not from tears. Dan’s pretty sure his eyes are just tired, too. It takes too much energy to force them to focus again.

He takes a breath. It hurts his throat, his head being bent back like this, and tugs at the tendons in his neck. 

“I don’t think it’s going to be a happy day,” he whispers, voice cracking “I’m–”

Scared. He doesn’t say it. 

“I know,” says Taylor.

They sit there, listening to the same drawl that Dan usually does. His eyes have fallen closed. He can hear his own breathing, loud compared to Taylor’s, but he doesn’t much care to worry about it. Taylor’s never been bothered by the little ways Dan’s body is different.

She just leans forward, snagging the remote from where it was sitting on the coffee table, and says, “Let’s put on a better film, at least.”

If Dan had the energy, he’d smile.

---

Phil gets home from work earlier than Dan expected.

“I worked my lunch,” he explains. “And my boss deemed me completely useless today. Apparently I was distracted.”

He’s sitting on the armrest, leaning over Dan. Whatever lighthearted smile he’s attempting lasts about half a second before it falls. His hand lands on Dan’s head, drawing his curls back. Taylor’s still sitting next to them, but Phil hardly hesitates before leaning down to press a kiss to the corner of Dan’s brow.

“Wonder why,” says Taylor. It’s a whisper, like she’s trying not to interrupt. “I should get going, though. I’m sure you guys have to get ready or some shit.”

Dan almost asks her to stay, just so he has an excuse to pretend that three thirty isn’t slowly sneaking up on him.

“Thanks for coming over,” says Phil.

“Yeah, of course.”

Dan can hear her smile, can see Phil’s. It makes his chest go warm. 

Taylor looks down at him before she leaves. “Good luck,” she says. “Text me when you’re ready to talk about whatever the doctor has to say.”

“I will,” says Dan. He hopes his smile is enough to tell her how much he appreciates the space she permits him.

Phil escorts her to the door. They hug before she leaves. Dan hears the murmur of her voice, too far for him to pick up on any words. He listens to the door open, then close, and then Phil returns by himself, dropping into the seat Taylor was just occupying.

Dan should probably feel bad for how relieved he is that Phil’s here now, but he doesn’t, not really.

His head falls back against the cushions, too, turned so he’s looking at Dan. He looks exhausted, eyes puffy and face all drawn. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Shit,” says Dan. “You?”

“Scared,” Phil whispers.

Dan nods, awkward and crooked with his head still tilted back. He reaches into the space between them, taking Phil’s hand in his. Their fingers interlock, and the pressure against his knuckles is not very comfortable, but it makes the corner of Phil’s mouth quirk up.

“Yeah,” says Dan. “Me too.”

---

They get to the doctor’s office early.

Sitting at home, waiting for the minutes to tick by, had become unbearable. Dan forgot that waiting rooms are always exponentially worse. Phil’s arm isn’t wrapped around him here. They don’t hold hands. Their feet are pressed together between their seats. It’s not enough.

Across from them, a mum is rocking her baby as he fusses. And older man is reading one of the magazines left out for them. Phil had tried to pick one up, and had put it down about thirty seconds later. The secretary who booked this appointment is talking on the phone. The other is checking someone in.

There’s a poster about heart failure on the wall. 

Dan stares at it until his chest starts to hurt and the anxiety makes his eyes water.

Phil grabs his hand, holds on tight.

“Your heart's fine,” he says. “You’ve had that tested before, right?”

“Yeah.” Dan lets out a breath. “Yeah. It was fine.”

“Okay,” says Phil. “Okay. That’s good.”

His grip on Dan’s hand loosens, his breath coming easier. 

Dan’s stays locked painfully between his ribs until a nurse steps out from the hallway and calls his name.

---

She checks his height, even though he hasn’t grown in over a year. And then his weight, as though it’s fluctuated much since his last growth spurt, since he lost his appetite and ability to exercise all at once. 

“Looks good,” she says, like she thinks that’s what Dan cares about.

She leads him into a little room and asks him questions, the familiar kind with automatic answers. No, he’s not diabetic. No, he doesn’t smoke. No, he hasn’t had caffeine in the last couple hours, because just the thought of putting something on his stomach makes him want to be sick.

He doesn’t say that last bit.

She wraps the blood pressure cuff around his arm. Dan squeezes his eyes shut against the pain when it tightens. He should be used to it. Part of him doesn’t think he’ll ever be.

His pulse is high, his blood pressure low. The nurse points it out.

“It’s always like that,” he explains.

She looks back at him, brows furrowed, skeptical. Dan hates it. He manages a shrug and a smile, an unspoken apology for something stupidly out of his control like his heart not beating quite right. 

He tries not to think about chronic obstructive heart failure.

The nurse jots something down on her triage paper and leads him into an exam room to sit and wait some more. Phil grabs his hand again the moment she closes the door behind her.

---

Dr. Kissel is smiling when she walks in. Dan’s not sure if that’s supposed to be comforting or not.

“How are you doing today?” she asks as she sits down, turning to log into the computer.

“Uh,” says Dan. “As okay as to be expected?”

She hums, turning back to him in her spinny office chair. The collar of her lab coat is popped awkwardly at one side. There’s a pen hanging from its pocket, a stethoscope draped across her shoulders. Her smile hardly falters as she says, “So, not very well at all, I assume?” 

It’s so not what Dan expected that he chuckles. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“I take it you want to get straight to your test results, then?” says Dr. Kissel.

He swallows hard. If the nurse thought his pulse was high before, he’d half laugh at what she’d have to say now. “Please.”

Dr. Kissel turns back to her computer at that. He watches her click through what he vaguely recognizes as his chart. Just above the notes from his last appointment are the last things his old doctor ever wrote about him, at the appointment where he counted Dan’s tests one by one and told him that if they were all fine there was nothing he could do unless Dan was willing to accept he was imagining it all.

Dan doesn’t read them, doesn’t want to. He never wants to be exposed to those words again.

He watches Dr. Kissel click on a link of some kind, and a monochrome image fills her computer screen. It takes him a second to realize he’s staring at his own brain, at the results from his MRI, autoplaying on a loop through his entire head over and over again.

Something in his chest spasms. Phil squeezes his hand. He never let it go.

“Okay, so first we have your MRI, which are the results I was most concerned about,” says Dr. Kissel. She turns back towards him, grabbing her pen to use it as a pointer. “If there was any signs of deterioration or abnormal structures like a tumour or aneurysm, we’d see it here.”

Dan stares. He can’t really see anything in his brain. He doesn’t know what a sign of deterioration looks like. He almost doesn’t want to ask.

He doesn’t have to, because Phil says, “And?”

“And I see no signs of any abnormalities with your brain,” says Dr. Kissel. “Your brain appears healthy, Dan.”

“Oh,” he says. 

His eyes are burning now. He hates the fact that it’s not from relief, that he doesn’t really know what’s welling in his chest, putting pressure in his skull, but it doesn’t feel good when he knows it should.

“What about the, uh, bloodwork?”

She doesn’t open those results, just leaves the screen playing a morbid cycle of his perfectly healthy brain. 

Dr. Kissel smiles, and says, “Those results also came back normal.”

Dan just about breaks down right there in the middle of her office. A tear falls down his cheek. His leg starts shaking. Phil has to reach out and rest a hand on his back just to keep him from giving up on keeping his breathing even at all.

Dr. Kissel reaches out, rests her hand on the armrest, close to Dan’s elbow.

“That doesn’t mean anything, you know,” she says. Her voice has gone soft. Dan’s never had a doctor, not even a therapist, speak to him like that. “I reviewed your medical history and I’m aware of the conclusions drawn by your past physician. That’s not where I’m going with this.”

“It’s not?” says Dan. It sounds choked. He feels like a kid. 

Except when he was a kid he didn’t have to deal with any of this.

“It’s not,” says Dr. Kissel. “Rather, I suspect you might have a condition that doesn’t show up on any of our current tests, at least not to our knowledge. Ruling out other conditions is the first step to diagnosing it.”

Phil’s hand starts rubbing circles against his spine at that. If Dan looked over, he’s pretty sure Phil would be smiling.

But he doesn’t. He can’t look away from Dr. Kissel, not now. “What’s the next step?” he whispers.

“Well, there’s two. The diagnostic criteria is in the process of evolving, so I’d like to perform both,” she says. “One of them might be painful.”

“Can we do that one first?”

It’s probably the wrong order to want. Dan doesn’t care. Part of him wants the pain to remind him that she’s actually looking for something physical. For once. For the first fucking time in seven years. 

Dr. Kissel smiles like she knows that and nods her head just once. “I’ll need you to stand up for this,” she says. “I’m going to press against specific spots on your body, and you need to tell me if it hurts, okay?”

He nods. His heart’s still racing when he stands. His legs feel weak with something other than exhaustion. 

Something almost thrilling, like anticipation.

Dr. Kissel starts by pressing her thumb against the base of his skull, right where his head meets his neck. Dan almost screams at the burst of pain it causes. 

It turns into a laugh, delirious and bubbly and out of control. When he turns, Phil’s smiling at him. Dr. Kissel is staring at him expectantly. 

“Yeah, that hurts,” he says, so she does the same thing to the other side of his head.

He laughs again, because it hurts and it feels like that’s what it’s supposed to do for whatever mystery illness Dr. Kissel’s testing him for. Phil laughs with him. He’s probably confused, but he doesn’t seem to care. Dr. Kissel moves onto the next spot, right where Dan’s neck meets his shoulder, and mumbles a quiet three under her breath when he squirms away from her touch.

In the end, he gets sixteen out of eighteen spots. Dr. Kissel tells him the minimum for a diagnosis is eleven. 

Dan probably shouldn’t be proud of that.

He settles back into his seat. The pressure of it hurts. Pain has bloomed all across his body and Dr. Kissel offered an apology that it would probably take a little while to fade and Dan doesn’t care. His leg bounces even though there was a spot in his hip that almost made it give out completely. 

His knee stings from when she pressed there. Dan rests his hand there anyway.

“What’s next?” he asks. He probably sounds insane.

Dr. Kissel just reaches over and draws a packet of papers from her folders. She sets it down on the desk by him. The front page has a picture of a gender-non-specific person with arms spread and eyes closed. The top of it has a header that reads Fibromyalgia Diagnostic Criteria. 

Dan has no idea what that means.

“You just need to fill out this assessment,” says Dr. Kissel. And then, “I told you this one would be less painful.”

Phil chuckles. Dan does, too. He grabs the pen she offers him and starts reading.

The first question asks him to check off every area of the body where he’s had pain in the last week. Dan reads the list once, twice, three times before looking up at Dr. Kissel. 

“Is it stupid of me to check off all of them?”

“Not if it’s the truth,” she says. “That’s a very common response for people with this condition.”

“Oh,” says Dan. Something twists in his stomach at being included in that. “Okay.”

So he checks off all of them, his shoulders and arms and upper and lower back, and jaw and neck and chest and legs and buttocks. The only thing that goes unchecked in the last option that reads None of the above . Dan’s brain can’t even wrap around that idea.

The second question is called the Symptom Severity Score. It asks Dan to rate some symptoms on a scale of zero to three. It feels like a failure when he needs to check the box next to 1: slight or mild problems when it comes to cognitive symptoms. 

Dan’s pretty sure that part of his brain is the only part of him that still works properly. Most of the time.

The last question is just a list of symptoms that tells him to check off all the ones he’s had in the last week. He has to ask what some are. Some are things he has but never really thought were related. His gaze lingers on the word seizures for the first time, printed on a list that includes rashes and dry eyes.

It’s the first thing that’s really scared him. That box stays unchecked. He wonders how much it matters.

When he hands the test back to Dr. Kissel, she’s already nodding like she knows the answer it’ll contain. Dan’s pretty sure he does, too.

She writes a giant 28 in blue pen at the bottom of the page, and looks up at him with a sad sort of smile. 

“Okay, this confirms my suspicions,” she says. “Your symptoms appear to be caused by Fibromyalgia.”

Dan swallows, bobs his head. “Okay. Okay,” he says. “Uh, what does that mean?”

---

His legs feel different when he walks outside. Maybe because they still ache from the pressure point test she did, or because there’s a residual tingling from how much he was shaking during the appointment. Except the rest of Dan’s body feels different too.

The sunlight burns his tired eyes. Holding his head up takes too much energy. They stand on the curb waiting for their cab to show up and Dan’s chest aches and yet feels lighter than it has in days.

Weeks. Years, probably.

Dr. Kissel explained to him what it was, with a bunch of fancy medical terms he’ll need to google later. Something called central sensitization means his brain is fucked up and doesn’t know how to process shit and makes everything hurt and it fits so very well with how his body seems to experience the word that Dan doesn’t care that he doesn’t understand. 

He doesn’t know much right now. She recommended lifestyle changes as a first step and he has no idea what that’s going to entail. He doesn’t know what meds he might end up on, or how much better he’ll get. Dr. Kissel told him this was usually a life-long condition.

Dan feels like that should be terrifying. Except he’s grown to expect that whatever it was wouldn’t be an easy fix. 

He’s not dying, though. She told him that a few times, like reassurance among all the supposed-to-be-bad news. 

His weak legs sway under him after standing for too long. Phil reaches out to wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him close so Dan can lean against the steadiness of his frame. He doesn’t seem scared anymore. Maybe he will be again, once everything’s had time to sink in.

Phil leans in close, pressing his nose to the side of Dan’s head. “How are you feeling?”

Maybe Dan will be scared again, too. But he’s really not right now.

“Can I say something crazy?” he asks. 

“Go ahead.”

He pulls back, just enough to catch Phil’s gaze with his own, and says, “I think this is one of the best days of my life.”

Phil doesn’t look at him like he’s crazy. He smiles, and leans forward to press a kiss to Dan’s forehead, and holds him even tighter when his legs start to feel weak again.

The cab that pulls up looks just like the one that drove them here. Dan climbs into the back seat next to Phil, letting his head fall against the headrest, and feels himself smiling.