#sirens anon thoughts

[sirensplayhouse]

There was this anon ask talking about blogs lying about the law & all that bullshit. But guess what? For about 6 months I was homeless, no where to go or anything and I had a child with me. I went to shelters after shelters but the majority of time I had no where to go. My child was able to stay with family but they had no room for me. Yes it was hard as fuck. But one day, I was sitting in the park and just imagined myself with my child on Christmas opening gifts in our beautiful apartment. I imagined that for a few days and lived in the end. Within A FUCKING WEEK, I was offered a 2 bedroom apartment (brand new build), a new high paying job, and my family offered to buy everything for our apartment. This was the best Christmas we have ever had.

So to all those anons who say “the law is fake” then how did I get everything I imagined in my 4d? Stop fucking harassing people because your life is shit. (And it’s cold af where I live almost in the negatives so spare me with the bullshit). I’ve been there but I got out of it so stop it you all sound dumb as shit.

And to be honest, if it wasn’t for you I would have never been where I am today. I feel secure and safe and warm. Me and my child have food and heat and able to watch tv together and laugh and enjoy ourselves.

bye because I am sobbing omg I am so happy for you love 🫶🏾this is absolutely beautiful love, congrats !🥹

I don’t think they realize that most of us bloggers came from toxic ass situations /households and went through the works.

[rottentiger-art]

the new chapter of my jolly sailor bold has me in shambles!!! She loves him!!! And he loves her!!! And they love each other!!! And it doesn’t even matter if their cultures are so different and that Penelope doesn’t even know what the word “wife” is, or that Colin doesn’t even know what the word “mate” is, but that they’ll be that to each other and adapt so easily to the others world because they love each other!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!

They might not know everything about each other's cultures, or what the future has in store for them, but they know they wanna be in each others lives forever and for now that's enough 😭😭💖💖💖

[the-kr8tor]

Little update on the cyberpunk motorbike racers au- my friend suggested 'Spikedcpider' with a c for Hobie's racer name lol It used to just be all for fun but now I'm considering it- dammit! Aha Daily Hobie HC! Alright we're going with the typical Siren x Pirate trope here.. Imagine how much more of a loveable and idiotic menace Hobie would be if he was a siren. Probably after a few encounters, because he was fascinated by how you could be so stunning and not even try to kill him, although he was a siren. Of course, he was able to turn into a human and speak your language, but he procrastinated on it since he loved the way your eyes slightly widened every time he brought you a jewel or shell or even a pearl (a black pearl?) Even your crew was pretty friendly towards him, seeing how attached the siren as to you (and vice versa), as well as the fact he just travels with the ship now. Sometimes, he brings you jewelry that matches your outfit. For example, possibly one day he found a bright blue piece of sea glass, offering it to you and gesturing to your neck(lace/s). Soon enough, the next time he saw you, you were wearing it around your neck. I bet his confession would be really simple too. Red things splayed on ship in the (wonky) shape of a heart, and maybe even a small 'u' shaped with pebbles beside it. Even when he's bored he'll just bother your crew if he cant bother you. If they're sharpening their swords, all they have to do is look up and immediately Hobie's there with the most bored expression on his face. Like imagine those seagulls just looking at you..they aren't doing anything, but you still feel intimidated. Yeah, that's him. I bet he's managed to even persuade one of your crewmembers to give him a weapon. The first time he actually turned human, and spoke, he would've had to bite his bottom lip in order not to laugh at your shocked and probably flustered face. After that first time, he'll just practically invite himself on board..sure, sometimes he's helping, but you can never be too sure. Idc what au i come up with, Hobie likes to give trinkets in all of em i aint listening to anything or anyone that says otherwise >:( -🐦‍⬛

Lol I get what you mean!! Bdas was supposed to just be a lil 3 series look at it now 🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's a pretty cool name!!

Wake up everyone there's a new daily hobie hc!!!

Omg Siren! Hobie!!!! Imagine him curling his tail around you protectively while u sleep!! And he rarely sings despite being a siren but when he does it's to sing you a lullaby 🥺

A black pearl! Bdas reference

Awwweeee him giving you jewellery!! His thought process was: pirates love treasure so I'm gonna give my treasure some treasure!

Siren! Hobie who confesses to you in sign language!!

Lmaoo I bet it was yuri who gave him a sword

Siren! Hobie who confesses again now that he can talk!!!

Hobie is a crow fr fr

[thewindandthestars]

WHO ARE YOU ANON??? REVEAL THY SELF THIS INSTANCE ‼️

[lakesbian]

TBH I've always responded to people I follow having painfully bad takes by sending them anons with worse versions of their takes in the hopes that it'll reverse psychology them into having bad takes. sometimes it works in the short term but like. obviously not this time lmao; wasn't putting my best efforts in this time. anyway I realize at this point I'm a sunglasses-wearing clown honking sad insults at you from a gutter I have withered away into but like. pretty unserious of you to say "it is very possible to talk things thru if u actually give me a conversation to work with instead of a brusque worst-case assumption about me lmao" about an interaction you initiated by accusing a stranger of misogyny on extremely dubious grounds. IMO

yeah that only works if the person receiving it has no actual preexisting opinion and is just passively reacting to whatever is set in front of them. i think the main disagreement here is really just about the dubiousness--i don't know about you guys but i am not exaggerating when i say that my hour long journeys through the parahumans subreddit in desperate search for good crumbs of art have led to me seeing at least a dozen or more posts about taylor being awful/manipulative/power-hungry/etc, incl. many comparisons to walter white (unsure why comparing her to walter white is a genre of parahumans post), and elaboration on ops reason for seeing her that way has Never Not Been Misogynist. i.e. its never not been treating her highly uncharitably compared to male characters using misogynistic language in a way actually comically similar to brians in text misogynistic accusation that she's intentionally trying to outperform the rest of them to make them reliant on her (when in reality shes just a woman who is more competent than him and he feels threatened by that).

so from my perspective the language used in the post in question was, like, a blaring red siren level of indicator in terms of its similarity to other posts I've seen use that phrasing and then go on to reveal a deeply misogynist thought process behind it. if i was wrong in assuming it was part of that pattern then good, i would love 2 eat crow on finding out smth i thought was likely coming from a place of prejudice was actually just regular wrong and not wrong (shitty). big fan of when things are not actually misogynist. but whether or not i was right aside i hope it makes sense why it read as a fairly common sense leap to me based on my prior experiences. (and on a tangentially related note, op liked my response clarifying that i was suspicious of implicit misogyny and explaining why, so i doubt that they're even particularly offended by it)

[hermanunworthy]

writer anon from a couple months ago here… fuck man. it’s the day the music died.

(idk what this is and it’s not very good)

but when you go to meet god, you know, you wanna look nice

hermie’s had those dreams before, the kind where he can feel that his eyes are closed and he tries to open them while he’s asleep but he can’t. this is like that- except there’s no body attached to it. he feels out for… nothing. not even an ache over his heart, where the blood was just staining a moment ago. a year ago? he feels heavy. he’s not sure where he feels it. there’s no body anymore. there’s no him.

“well hello there, darling.” his father. he looks up. there’s no one here. scam’s voice is all around. “did you have fun?”

did you have fun? two years of high school theatre, that’s what it added up to, more or less, and then a few insane months with the teens. was it fun? he can’t remember now.

in this space, he sees it. it really was only two years. there was nothing before that. his memories of growing up are so two-dimensional, it feels like he could print them right out of his head and fold them up into a little paper person and be looking at his twin.

“it was just a joke, you know, all in good fun. oh, they’re wrapping it up now, story’s almost over. ‘that’s all, folks!’ and all that, you know. shame, we’ve only got so much time left.” scam didn’t sound sad. “I kept thinking your father would come after me at some point. it was good fun, messing with the king-of-hell demon-cop. pretty shitty guy, I gotta say.”

a scene materializes in front of hermie. a wooden stage, classic red curtains to frame it, and a styrofoam grave marker in the center. two actors bearing a comically-grotesque resemblance to his adoptive parents were badly stage-crying over it.

at the top, à-la-phantom of the opera, jodie peered down at the actors. he watched for a moment, then turned away to fix his attention on someone else.

did you have fun?

“I was wondering though. were you lying?”

hermie paused. “what?” his voice sounded strange.

“your last words to normal. he wasn’t conscious to hear them, you know. but were they genuine?” he could hear the rubber stretch of scam’s smile splitting far wider than a mouth should go. “did you mean it?”

“I can’t die,” hermie said slowly. “can I.”

“well, you weren’t exactly alive, so it’s hard for you to be dead.” scam sounded more distant now. “no place in heaven or hell for a puppet, just ask jigsaw.”

hermie’s jaw clenched. “I wasn’t a puppet. I wasn’t… anything.”

“right, so you get the point. I’m asking what you were teeing up for with that last line, hermie. obviously you won’t be around to deliver the payoff. were you just planning on ditching them without a punchline?”

“it’s what you did.”

“the ditch was the punchline, worthless, that’s the crux of the whole thing.” scam’s voice had taken on an edge. “I died once too. got shot off a dragon, actually. it was a lot like this.”

“was it?”

a pause. “I don’t remember.”

the curtains closed. somewhere, the sound of a gigantic clock started up, or maybe a metronome. “well, this has been fun, if ultimately unsatisfying, but I’m afraid this is where I must leave you. show’s over.”

“are you sure?”

“you’re the one who stopped dancing. oh.” scam was smiling again; he could hear it. “oh. I see it now, the prestige. you were the set-up for something truly… oh. wow. now this is a show.”

normal. hermie tried to take a deep breath. “what’s he doing?”

“making your whole life part of his own villain origin story. so sorry you aren’t around to see this, I know how you always liked the villains, but, well.”

“you can’t bring me back?” hermie clenched his fists. “you can’t do one thing for me, after…?”

scam scoffed. “oh, now he wants to live.”

crack! hermie was a five-year-old watching the big kids win the speedrun. crack! hermie was a cat in a garbage can being jumped by the pussywagon. crack! hermie was sitting in a car in hell, and normal was kissing his cheek. crack! hermie was a voice on the phone, hermie was saying “this is john.” crack! hermie was the dying papa john, hot cheese coursing through his veins. crack! hermie was dying, hermie was lying on the ground with blood spilling from his…

“your father and I were similar in one regard, actually. when our lives were threatened, when there was only one way to be free, we took it. we split, you could say, we…” scam hesitated. hermie thought about a demon and a highway patrol officer, a mustache and a fedora. “sometimes you get a card. sometimes you get a court order. but you always get a choice. you don’t get to be yourself. that’s what the world taught both of us. no matter your power, your influence, if the world doesn’t want you to be yourself, and you still want to live, well…”

he saw the joker, keira knightley, risky click, a whole parade of shifting faces flickering between his reflection and his performances. he heard his words to normal in goof’s realm- you don’t like me, you idiot.

“do you want to live? you never get to go back, you know, not to what you were. even if you’re able to reconcile the memories, once you’ve been something you never fully stop being it. and that saves you a little, the first you, but it’ll damn you just as surely.

“unless.” one giant eye in front of hermie. “was there anyone, hermie? anyone who wanted you to be yourself?”

what did he honestly believe, about what normal wanted?

he didn’t know if his last words were a lie. he didn’t know if his next ones would be either.

do you want to live?

IM SO SORRY FOR LEAVING U HANGING FOR A WHILE WRITER ANON IVE BEEN AT WORK BUT IM BACK. I WOULD SAY WE ARE SO BACK BUT NO ITS SO OAKWOVER. HERMAN UNWOVER.

I AM INSANE ABOUT THIS DO U UNDERSTAND HOW CRAZY THIS IS TO DROP IN MY INBOX. THIS IS SO WELL DONE IM GONNA EXPLODE THE FUCKING. AAUAUAUAGAHHHH

[asheanon]

☕ Just had a buddy make the argument that Sal is a "siren of the starry seas" and I can't stop thinking about that, now.

Like… She lures her "unsuspecting victims" into the cosmos… for adventure, though! She has no ill intent. I guess some of those adventures can be a little precarious… BUT STILL. It's relatively safe! Usually. 🤔

"Come with me and you'll see a world of pure imagination.~" 🎵 And they were never heard from again... JK. JK, for reals. The kids are fine in that story! Er, well... I mean... beyond KHUX's established shenanigans. If you know, you know. 😆

🤔

... There is a segment of Starlight (story / FFIX fanfic) where (spoilers) Sal ends up going somewhere and almost getting more than just herself killed, though, so I mean... 🤔

[djs-horny-blog-lmao]

How dare you make me feel things @ the LoganxThomas smut /jk

But may I ask (plead) that you may be making the other ‘fantasies’ Thomas has about the others? (Hopefully Roman or Janus-OPPORTUNITY FOR HYPNOSIS)

-✨🐍

how dare i indeed >:3c fgkhfdg i just think that at then end of the day, all of the sides care about Thomas sooo much :(( and Thomas cares about them :(( and theyre beloved to me.

and oh man you’re so right... i’ll have to turn some stuff in my head about scenarios and kinks and stuff but sdhgkhfdg you’re speaking my language with those brackets /j

[ohdeerfully]

alastor request HAI can it be based on the fact that alastor doesn't sleep, and it's his lover finding out that petting his ears during cuddling makes him fall asleep.

thank you for your service

yess i love sleepy alastor thank u so much anon :D!!

Goodmorning, Love

Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

You were well aware of the Radio Demon’s sleep habits. Or, well, lack of sleep habits. You often spent nights in his room, where he would sit with you in bed until you fell asleep and go do whatever the hell he gets up to late at night. You always woke up in an empty room, and often so in the middle of the night, struggling to rest again as a greedy tightness gripped your chest in worry and disappointment.

You understood, though, and tried your best not to let it get to you that you didn’t have his warm body next to you when you woke every morning. But you couldn’t help that twinge of sadness. You weren’t particularly needy or clingy, but would it kill him to stay in bed with you for a single night? And to have a slice of domestic bliss as you woke up?

Obviously. 

You roll your eyes as you lay, staring up at the ceiling. You had just gotten ready for bed, and now waited for said demon to join you for a few hours. Your fingers tapped, impatient, against your chest as you hummed absentmindedly.

“How lovely,” You heard him speak. Tickles of that radio static that always followed him clung to your exposed skin, which was signal enough that he had entered the room had he not announced himself. “What a siren you are, luring me here with that hum of yours.”

You smiled slightly at his comment, scooching over slightly to encourage him over. He obliged, joining you under the covers. He still wore his usual outfit, which made sense considering his tendency to go away all night. You purse your lips at the thought, slightly chewing on the skin.

“Why the face?” Of course he noticed your expression. He always noticed when any emotion tickled your face. You appreciated the genuine tone in his voice, the typical buzz of radio barely detectable in his words. He always got a little softer and kinder when he was alone with you like this.

You appreciated nights with him, being able to see a side of him that nobody else would live to spread word of. You enjoyed feeling a little special, especially to somebody like him.

“Do you think you could stay in,” You asked cautiously, fiddling with your hands as you inched closer to him, pressing your body against his. Even laying, he still seemed much taller than you. You gingerly guided his head down, against your chest as you spoke, hoping the multitasking would keep him from sitting up and rejecting your intimate gestures. “Just for a night. I miss you all night long.”

He allowed his head to lay against you. He did feel tense, of course, letting the back of his head be exposed in this manner as he lay vulnerable on you. It was a strange feeling, but not one he cared to consider for too long. 

“(Y/N),” He began with a sigh. “It’s impossible for me to get much done during the day, what with all the running around Charlie does. Somebody has to keep an eye on that young princess. I prefer to stay awake to get my own errands done at night.” 

I know that, you wanted to say and interrupt his explanatory ramble. You wanted to beg him to understand, just this once. You held in a sigh, watching as his head gently rose and fell with every breath you took. Maybe you should just take this submission from him as good enough.

You gingerly began tangling your fingers through his red hair, brushing out any kinks he may have gotten throughout the day. His tense body seemed to ease slightly, becoming more and more relaxed as you weaved your fingers through the locks.

“You have really soft hair, Al,” You commented, changing the subject. You figured there was no use convincing him. You let your fingers lightly trail upwards, up to his ears. You grazed them slightly with a finger. You touched again. When he made no motion of dislike, you fully began rubbing them. Petting him. You smiled to yourself at the idea of petting the feared Radio Demon. “And your ears are even softer.”

“I try to take care of myself,” He responded proudly. There was another hint of something in his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what it was. But it seemed heavy. “A well groomed man is a successful one.” You absentmindedly agreed as you stroked the velvety fur of his ears, switching back and forth between them and his hair. You had a preference for the ears, though.

You sighed and began humming quietly again. He rarely got so… comfortable, even around you. He always had some sort of guard up, always had his shoulders squared. He almost never became so… loose and vulnerable.

You noticed the clippings of radio frequency had stopped, which was a noise that was ever present in his wake. You had a suspicion why it disappeared, a small grin forming on your face.

Yes, the Radio Demon never slept. But that was a choice he made, not a curse that prevented him. Even demons get tired. You don’t know how Alastor makes it day by day without a wink of rest, but it was apparent that exhaustion had built up in him. He just needed to relax for a second.

You graced your fingers over his fringe, and craned your neck in a way to get a glance at his face. Yeah, you were right. 

He laid there, eyes shut, features relaxed with the lightest grin playing on his face. Even in sleep, you complained. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sound of his deep, slow breathing and occasional twitch of his velvety ears. You briefly wondered what the Radio Demon would dream about.

Would he be aggravated with you when he woke up, realizing you had practically cast a sleep spell on him? You didn’t, but the rate of which exhaustion took over may as well have been some sort of magic.

You shut your own heavy eyes, exhaling lightly as you continued to comfort yourself with the texture of his fur and hair. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

You craned your arms and neck as consciousness came back to you, but an unfamiliar weight kept you from getting that good stretch in. Momentarily confused, you blinked open and looked down.

Red and black hair, more of a mess than usual, still took place on your torso. This was a first, and your chest felt like exploding with the glee of seeing Alastor still resting with you. He somehow looked even more relaxed than the night before, his cheek flush against your stomach, squishing his lips up slightly. A light grin was still there.

You gently brushed your fingers over his face, trailing a line around his features with an index finger. His eyes squeezed for a moment, and that static ambience of his slowly, quietly, returned. It was a noise that you had learned to find comfort in. He slowly opened his red eyes, a confused and sleepy daze clouding them. There was a wrinkle in his brow as he roughly propped himself up with an elbow, looking up at you with a furrowed expression.

“(Y/N)..?” He trailed, pausing to take in a shuddering morning yawn through a confused smirk. “Did I… Dear, what time is it?”

You looked at him tenderly. Oh, how cute he was, sleepy like this. Composed like an exhausted kid. Something even you have never seen before.

“Yeah,” You responded to his unspoken question. “It’s probably seven a.m. or so. I dunno.” There wasn’t a clock in your immediate line of sight.” “A.m. …” He said slowly. He sat up fully, looking down in disappointment at his wrinkled day wear. He quickly blinked the sleep from his eyes and managed to bring some composure to himself, but that lick of exhaustion was still prominent. Especially under his eyes.

“Yeah,” You said again, a light chuckle following. “Goodmorning, Al.”

He wasn’t obviously upset, it seemed. Though he probably was too tired to think about it too much yet. Maybe later.

“Well… Goodmorning, love.” He responded, still with a hint of confusion in his voice. “I suppose I accepted your plea from last night.” He brushed at his clothes while he spoke, trying to flatten out the creases that were brought on through a night of rest.

“Maybe more often?” You asked, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation. You already knew the answer, but it was okay. You knew how to keep him in now. You mischievously smirked as he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Unlikely.”

[m-ilkiee]

Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

Chapter 2: Shots Fired

series summary: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

chapter summary: Izana Kurokawa demands your attention and he doesn’t take no for an answer. Not even when his demands are outrageous.

cw: DARK CONTENT, MISOGYNY, NSFW, r*pe mention, religious guilt, depictions of PTSD and CPTSD, emotional incest, abandoment issues, violence, revenge porn, depression, filming without consent, drugging, implied domestic abuse, victim blaming, blackmailing, manipulation, gaslighting, mind break, psychological torture, use of firearms

r-18+ (not suitable for 17 and under)

wc: 11.6k

[masterlist] [chapter 1] [chapter 3] [taglist]

a/n: likes are nice, comments and reblogs with comments are superior, anons are also superior too and would make me update faster cause it means people like what i write. this chapter takes an entirely different turn from the old story, some scenes are similar but the context is different. i host polls after this so stay tuned. Edit 02/11/2024: this chapter's end has been edited and changed. I've indicated the edited point, so that you could skip other parts to read it. Thank you.

 YOU haven’t been able to stay asleep for the past few days.

It’s easy to fall asleep after a hard and stressful day at school and your part-time job. Your limbs ache from all the walking and lugging a bookbag far heavier than what you could handle -since all your e-textbooks were on your (now destroyed) laptop and phones were not allowed during lectures. And working from 5pm until 9pm at a restaurant, serving food to rude, overbearing customers only to be paid in pieces was another added stress in itself.

Not to mention, studying until the words are bleary and just looking at a book hurts your eyes.

But then, in all your dreams, everything you’ve pushed to the back of your memory is at the forefront. Your dream starts typically, your normal school day, waking up, dressing in your cute little blue crop sweater and jean skirt with socks. You go to classes, and then you see Mikey’s car waiting for Emma.

Things take a different turn. He’s the one getting out of the car to meet you. It’s like a siren call, him holding out his hand for you to take despite someone screaming for you to stop. You try to reject him, try to run away like the voice said but you end up getting trapped. This time, he’s not using his hands. He’s fully sheathed inside you, robbing you of the thing you hold so dear while you kick, bite and claw at him until you wake up screaming, sweat soaked all over your sheets.

You consistently dream of being violently raped by Manjiro Sano.

The next few hours until sunrise were equally horrible. You’re quietly sobbing into your pillows, praying to God to forgive you for letting Mikey touch you in the first place, assuming your reason for having such dreams was God’s divine judgement for your grievous sin. You’ve lost count on how many Bible verses you stay up reading until your eyes are bleary and the sun comes up.

No matter how much you pray and how many times you recite psalms 127 before you sleep, you can never escape Mikey in the world of dreams. He’s a virus that has invaded your thoughts, corrupting every dream you had and twisted them into nightmares.

You don’t know how long you can hold on being this sleep deprived. It’s been impairing your school life, trying to find a way to stay awake during classes only for you to fall asleep and miss the rest of it. Even when you got notes from the person next to you, reading them was always difficult because your eyes hurt so much.

Work was even more taxing and stressful, rush week adding more stress than you could ever imagine. You found yourself spacing out more than usual when you were supposed to be taking orders. You were unable to keep up with the fast paced environment, your body feeling like a ton of bricks with every moment you make. Your eyes were heavy lidded, tired from forcing them open throughout the day.

You were so, so tired-

“Hello! Are you sleeping on me young lady?” A voice snapped at you.

Your eyes shot open and immediately you stood back straight. You must have been dozing off while taking the older lady’s order -the very thing you’ve been trying to avoid all day long. “No, not at all Ms-” you started to explain. “-I was just … what was your order aga-”

You flinched when the woman angrily slammed her fist on the table, shutting you up instantly! “So you were sleeping on the job! What kind of establishment allows this?” She screamed, attracting the attention of customers around. “I need to speak to your manager. NOW!”

You instantly began to panic at the mention of your manager. If he heard any of this, he was definitely going to fire you. You cannot afford to lose this job right now, with all your school expenses and saving up money for next session’s tuition.

“No mam!” you begged, keeping your voice even as you tried to reason with her. “Th-there’s no need for that! Please! Let me take your order and I’ll-” you racked your brain for an excuse, knowing fully well your establishment does not offer free meals. “- I’ll pay for your meal! On me-”

“So you’re trying to imply I’m poor?” She interrupted you again, her tempo even higher than before. “You disrespectful little wretch! How dare you? GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”

You started begging the older woman, trying to calm her down and de-escalate the situation, but each plea only fuelled her rage. By now, every customer, every employee and just anyone in that place watched you grovel and beg this woman to calm down, some people even videoing your altercation. Your body was trembling as she screeched in your ears, calling you all sorts of names while you relentlessly apologised to her.

“What is going on here?”

You winced at the sound of your manager’s voice emerging from the backrooms. You stood stiffly as he walked to your side, using his shoulder to nudge you out of the way. “Is there something wrong Ms.?” He asked the lady. “What happened?”

“This little wretch!” She practically screeched at you, her finger wagging straight at your hung face. “She was sleeping while I was ordering! And when I pointed it out to her calmly, she called me a hag!”

Your eyes snapped open. You can tolerate people yelling at you, but lying is out of the question. “I did not call you anything! That’s a lie-”

“You be quiet!” Your manager yelled at you, silencing you. He turned to face the woman again, apologising profusely for your so called rude behaviour. “I promise you mam, she will be dealt with accordingly. Your order is in the house, please take that as a token of our humble apology and forgive us.”

You stood there in shock as the woman smirked satisfactorily at her now free meal. “Well, you better get rid of her!” She snarked, eyes scanning you up and down, plopping back down on her seat. “Or you’ll lose me as a patron.”

“Of course mam.” He said sweetly before switching his countenance towards you into a more irritated one. “You, come with me.”

You lowered your head once again in disappointment as you started following your manager towards the back rooms, your head lowered in shame as the eyes followed your every move to your damnation waiting for you in the manager’s office.

Your skin crawled as you felt his penetrating gaze on you, as if judging you. “You know how many complaints I have received this week just from you, (name)? How many orders you’ve messed up?”

You shook your head no in response, not trusting yourself to say anything reasonable at this point. He eyes you up and down again before scoffing at you rudely. “I only let you stay here because you said you were desperate for a job. But apparently, you’re not even bothered enough to keep it.” He spat out. “Unfortunately for you, this is the end of the road for you here. Change out of your uniform and leave.”

“But s-”

“I said you’re FIRED. GET OUT.”

You sighed weakly, obeying your now ex-manager’s order and leaving the office. You ignored the eyes of everyone watching you exchange the too tight black jeans and green top uniform back to your white bohemian skirt and light blue top with your white jacket. Calmly, you packed your school bag and everything you owned with you and slung it over your shoulder, replacing the uniform back to the locker, dropping the key on top.

No one said goodbye to you as you left through the back door.

  IZANA knows it's creepy to be waiting for Emma just outside her college, but it's not like he has a choice when she keeps ignoring any method he uses to contact her.

Mindlessly, he fiddled with his lighter with his back on the wall of the English department building and an unlit cigarette between his lips. Purple eyes scanned the people leaving the building one by one, hoping to find a mop of golden hair amongst the students. His hopes rose with each blond he saw, only for him to deflate when he realised they weren't her.

A few minutes passed and still no sign of Emma. Deciding that he didn’t want to stand around and gape, Izana lifted his lighter towards his cigarette, flicking the light twice and bringing the warm flame to his lips. Breathing in the familiar scent of nicotine, smoke filled his lungs as he tucked the lighter back in his pockets. His free hand took the cigarette from his lips and he exhaled, releasing plumes of smoke from his lips.

His smoking habit had gotten worse within the past week. Izana couldn’t help it, reaching for a light anytime he saw his gifts in the dustbin. Emma hasn’t been this angry at him before. Usually a new plushie was enough to wash his sins clean, no matter how grevious they were. Now, not even the most expensive shoes she’s been eyeing for months could satiate her anger.

All because of you.

Izana knows his little sister like the back of his hand. Like how she loved sleeping with plushies because it comforted her whenever their mother brought her gambling friends into the house and they were loud. Or how he picked up a guitar to learn multiple barbie songs because their mother had destroyed Emma’s CD that he bought with his money to punish her. He knew she liked warm tea during her periods and gentle back rubs to ease her pain. He’s not the best person to be around, with how fucked over he was by life until Shinichiro gave him purpose but he loved his sister a lot and everything he did was to protect her. Life hardened him, made him so jaded that the only thin thread connecting him to his humanity was Emma and he’d do anything to protect his humanity.

Only to watch it slip through his fingers.

First it was Mikey’s stupid friend, Ken Ryugi, who waltzed his way into Emma’s life. Izana didn’t like him one bit- didn’t like how Emma would bite her lip, waiting for him to reply and cry herself to sleep when he didn’t. Her heart was soft, fragile and that brute tore it apart by telling her he wasn’t interested in a relationship yet.

The only reason Ken wasn’t in an unmarked, shallow grave in the middle of nowhere was simply because Mikey was involved.

Now it is you, taking the space in her life that belonged to him and Mikey. You’re pushing both of them out of the equation, threatening their position in their sister’s life and everything they know.

Izana wonders how someone so insignificant was so important to Emma that she was willing to cut communications with her own brothers. It baffles him beyond understanding and at the same time enrages him that she could trust you so easily. That she was willing to turn against him in your name.

He took more puffs, skimming throughout the campus for any sight of her. It didn’t matter how he felt about it, as Kisaki had convinced him to ask Emma and you to go shopping, just to get back into Emma's good graces again. Apparently doing a nice gesture publicly for you would convince their sister to give them another chance again.

Especially because Izana had been the biggest opposition to their friendship.

“But Mikey was a little shit about them too.” he grumbles underneath his breath, cigarette in hand. “Why do I have to be the one to apologise? And why did Mikey get an out while I’m doing all the heavy lift-”

His thoughts were cut short the second he caught sight of a familiar blonde hair bouncing in the wind and stood up straight, tossing the cigarette to the floor and crushing it underneath his black shoes, before rushing to catch up to his little sister.

Izana pushed through the throng of people, violently shoving anyone that got in his way until he finally fell in step with her, slowing down to match her pace. Without wasting time, his hand curled around the girl’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks instantly and earning a shocked gasp escaped her lips.

“Get off me - Izana?”

Her free hand was fast to hit him, but her head was faster in turning around, only to recognize it was just Izana. Her hand stopped inches away from the smirking male’s face, the tension leaving her body and relief taking its place. It doesn’t last long, though as irritation suddenly crawls on her face, instantly displeased at his actions. “What the hell? I’ve told you to stop doing that.” she hissed at him.

A mischievous grin made its way to his face at Emma’s irritation. She always had a pout whenever she was angry at him and it made look even more adorable.

“Were you scared?” He teased, pulling Emma closer to him until she was practically smushed at his side, despite the glare she gave him in response. “You know no one would dare touch you.”

“Get off me. Your breath stinks like nicotine, I thought you said you quit smoking that shit.”

Ignoring Emma’s last question, he decided to change the topic. “Your lapdog isn't here with you?” he asked. Usually, you would be hovering behind her like a damn pest, so you not being around her was rather strange. 

Emma is quick to shove him off lightly, putting some distance between the two of them, clearly still mad at him. "(Name)'s not feeling well, so she didn't come to class today. I'm on my way to get her medicine."

Oh, that's a surprise.

But with you out of the way, Izana could finally have Emma all to himself for today and hang out with his beloved sister. Maybe even make up for the party thing without apologising to you. Without you here, it’s likely Emma isn’t as mad at the whole situation and is playing it up to make you feel like you have someone on your side.

He knows you’re not going to protest if Emma says she’s in talking terms with her brothers again. It’s a win-win situation and he doesn’t have to grovel or ask for forgiveness for some joke that went wrong.

"So that means we can hang out?"

"Excuse me?"

"You don't have to keep pretending you're still mad at me now that she isn't here." He spews the 'she' with so much venom it could kill, before switching up with a sick grin, his hand stretched out. "We can go to Vivienne Westwood and get that Saturn necklace you like, what do you say?"

His words hung in the air as Emma trailed her pointed glare from his hand, back to his cheerful visage. She crossed her arms in response slowly, her yellow eyes burning holes into his face as her lips curled into a sick sneer.

“Are you insane?”

“What?”

“Don’t ‘what?’ me Izana! I just told you (name)'s ill and you're asking me to go with you to shop at Vivienne westwood? Are you nuts?”

Emma’s voice was loud enough to garner wandering eyes of other by-standers, watching the event go down. Izana kept his composure, despite his bubbling irritation beneath the surface of his skin, with a smile -albeit stiffer than before. ‘She’s just being emotional’ Izana whispered to himself, still trying to be rational. ‘Just take it easy with her’

“Oh come on, should I care about her-"

"You should be begging her to forgive you for what you did to her that night!"

"You can't still be mad at me for that shit that happened two weeks ago. And besides, it's not my fault she couldn't take a joke” his words were smooth, buttery, flowing out of his lips like it was the truth, digging his own grave. “I didn’t know your friend was that sensitive-”

“Are you listening to the bullshit coming from your mouth?” Emma roared, her voice echoing throughout the entirety of the department, her face red with fury. Izana had never seen his own beloved sister ever look at him with such disgust in her eyes, her teeth gnashing against each other and hands at her side, clenching against each other. “Is that what you think a joke sounds like?”

“Calm the fuck dow-”

“No wonder you’re fucking single, you’re such a piece of shit to anyone that isn’t Shinichiro!” Emma screamed, interrupting Izana once again, her temper fiery enough to burn a hole on the ground she stood with how heated she was. “How does anyone even stand you for so long? You’re unbearable!”

“Excuse m-”

He doesn’t like where the conversation is going, with how furious Emma was right now. He tried to raise a comforting hand to Emma’s shoulder to ease her tension but she was quick to smack it away from her hard, stinging his fingers a little.

“You’re so unpleasant, how do you even have any friends? How do they tolerate you? To think (name) wanted me to forgive you! Thank god you aren’t my fucking brother, I can’t imagine being anything like you!”

The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.

It was as if the world froze over for Izana. He stood there, wide eyed, his heart beating loudly in his chest as all the voices around him faded into the background. His hand extended weakly at his side, mouth drying up as a lump formed in his throat. 

“I-I-i" she starts to stutter. It’s obvious that she can recognize what she had just said as he blankly stared at her. "I didn't mean i-”

He doesn’t let her finish, turning on his heel and walking away as fast as possible. People were quick to clear out of his way, not wanting to be his target of aggression. Emma followed behind, instantly, shouting his name at the top of her lungs followed with strings of apologies.

“Izana, wait please-” she screamed from the crowd of people, tears streaming from her yellow eyes. He continued to ignore her as he hopped on his bike, sliding in the key and revving up the engine before she could reach him.

Izana zoomed away, turning Emma’s cries into background noise, her words repeating in his head.

“I didn’t mean it! I’M SORRY-”

YOU don't know which was worse, the feeling of helplessness that came with the reality of your life crashing before your very eyes or the splitting headache you've developed after crying in your room for a week straight. Laying on your bed all day, huddled up in a blanket and sobbing uncontrollably was unhealthy, but it was all you found the strength to do these days. 

In all your years of being alive, you've never felt this pathetic. Not when you would be pushed outside in the pouring rain if you made a mistake in making dinner, or had been beaten with a belt in front of Yuzhua and Hakkai because you failed your catechism test. You could protect yourself from your brothers when they got violent. You could run and hide when your dad was really angry and wanted to take it out on you.

Unfortunately, no one told you what to do when your life is falling apart.

Ever since that day, you couldn't find the strength to go to class or do anything for that matter. It was like your entire energy was sucked out of you, leaving your body an empty husk with nothing left to give. 

You only have yourself to blame.

You drag the blankets closer to your body, sniffling a bit. The worst part of all of this is that after this month, if you don’t find a job that pays you quickly, you are going to be broke. It’s times like this that makes you regret leaving your family. You know it’s wishful thinking, but you wonder if you would be forgiven assuming you return home in tears and repentant of your sin of disobedience like the prodigal son in the bible. Life is too hard to live in the outside world without the help and guidance of a parent. You miss your old life, with your own bed and guaranteed food, as long as you did as you were told. You miss how sometimes your parents took you and your siblings to eat out after church.

You miss your mother. You want to go back to her. Life is hard, and dealing with being jobless with nowhere to turn to is harder. You could ask Emma, but she’s already taking care of you and there was no way you would bother your friend about your money problems.

"Hey babes, I got the medicine for you."

Emma's soft voice rouses you out of your self-pity session. The wood creaks underneath her heels as she walks to your bed and takes a seat besides you, the mattress dipping underneath her weight. The scent of her Vivienne Westwood wafting through your nostrils fills you with a sense of warmth, familiarity and at the same time, dread.

You feel guilty. Perhaps it's because you don't know how to tell Emma what exactly is wrong with you. It's easier to give her the half-truth that you caught a stomach bug than say everything. If you even as much as hinted that Manjiro had something to do with the real reason you were a sobbing mess on your bed, you're sure she would overreact and fight with her brothers again.

But still, not telling her meant you were keeping secrets from her. Something you both promised not to ever do as you two became best-friends.

‘It’s for her own good.’ you try to justify it. ‘It’s better I keep my mouth shut.’

Pushing that thought at the back of your mind, you roll over to her direction, pulling down your blanket just a little bit to see her properly. Your heart drops at the sadness etched onto Emma’s face, a forlorn look in her eyes. You hated seeing her down, yet all you’ve been doing for the past few months since you came into her life was causing her pain. You know how it feels to lose family, no matter how bad they were to you and Emma is no different.

“Hey”

Your voice is hoarse from your constant crying, but Emma doesn’t mention it as she reaches a hand to caress your face. “You look better than yesterday. You up to eat?”

You nodded briefly, realising how hungry you were. You’ve barely had an appetite to eat anything, so your rations had been smaller and compact until you regained it back bit by bit, thanks to Emma’s constant care. Pushing yourself up, you sit up and yawn, quickly covering your mouth the moment a bad stench emanates from it. Emma’s face quickly grows sour as well, probably smelling it too.

“You haven’t showered.”

“Uhhh-”

You knew there was no excuse for that one as Emma put the food and medicine away before yanking you off the bed while talking about how gross you were for not showering throughout today. “You’re a girl (name), don’t do this to yourself, c’mon-”

“But-” you start to whine, trying to defend yourself. “I was tired-”

“Nope!” she retorted, pushing you towards the bathroom. “No excuses! I swear you’re acting like Mikey when he’s in one of his moods-”

The room falls silent at her words, the cheerful aura dropping the second Emma realises what she’s said, a wave of guilt washing over her face as she lets go of your hands.

“Fuck- I’m sorry (name)...”

Your heart aches at how heartbroken she sounds right now and shatters even further at the fact that everything, every problem they were experiencing right now was all your fault. You saw it deep in Mikey’s eyes how much pain and suffering your presence in their family had caused, and how his anger reflected that action towards you. You’ve been so entrenched in your own problems that you forgot the mess you made in their family.

“Emma, you miss them don’t you?”

‘It’s not too late.’ You mutter to yourself, your heart in your throat as you steel your resolve. You couldn’t let her make that mistake you made by leaving your family aside. You don’t want Emma to be like you.

“(Name), please don’t-”

“You can’t keep ignoring them forever.” You cut her short, speaking directly to her now. “You can’t keep ignoring Draken either too. You’re miserable.”

“I’m fin-”

“Emma no.” You snap at her, finally having enough of her stubbornness as anger swells up in you. “I see how sad you look everytime you look at your pictures with your big brothers and Draken. Do you think that it’s healthy to keep ignoring them like this?”

“You were the one they hurt, you shouldn’t feel bad for them-”

“It doesn’t matter! I don’t matter!” You yell desperately, now pulling away from her grasp in an attempt to put your foot down. “They are the ones who matter a lot. Those are you family members! People who love you and have protected you for years! Just talk it out with them! They miss you for god’s sake!”

“What the hell do you mean you don’t matter?” Emma roars back at you, suddenly enraged by your outburst. You nearly stumble back at how angry she sounded, fear creeping into your skin as your verbal claws retract. “You matter to me! You mean the world to me as any of them do! You’re my best friend and I love you and if they don’t understand that then there is nothing to make up for!”

By the time she was done yelling, her breathing was heavy and her eyes so intense you couldn’t even stare at her. Your eyes quickly flickered to your feet instead; scared of seeing the disappointment on her face and terrified of her anger. You didn’t like it when Emma yelled, it reminded you of your mother getting angry at you, something you hated doing to her.

Eventually, she took a deep breath and took a step closer to you, her hand intertwined with yours. “Come on, I’ll help you shower.”

You silently follow behind her, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped.

  PERHAPS Izana should be angry at Emma.

It would be justified after the words she said from her mouth, but he can’t because he knows the truth. Emma was just angry as well and she didn’t mean any of the words she had said to hurt him. She said them because of you, however and he realises that every fight they’ve had is over your presence in her life.

Which meant that the true culprit was you.

People may believe in love at first sight, but from the first day Izana set his eyes on you, he could only feel hatred towards you. You were just there, sitting awkwardly while Emma tried to involve you in their conversation and it irked him.

At first, Izana thought it was the fact that the both of you were clashing personalities that made him feel that way, but then you keep getting in his way and ruining things for him. He hates everything about you - the way you picked your finger when you were nervous. Your bright smile you gave to only Emma and how easy it was for her to like you. Just your mere presence in general was enough to set him off because of how simple it was for you to be close to Emma while you barely knew her. It felt like he was losing his only sister to a stranger, and now the Emma who stands in front of him is a mere mockery of his real sister.

And that’s the frustrating part. He can’t do anything to hurt you. He’s smart enough to know that if he does, Emma would never forgive him.

“... Kurokawa, are you here with us?”

Izana snaps back to reality as Kisaki taps the table three times to get his attention. ‘I might have spaced out.’ He thinks to himself before facing the entirety of the table; Tetta Kisaki, the rather shrewd and ruthless dealer sitting, his equally irritating lap dog Shuji Hanma and the little shit that he called his younger brother, Mikey.

Speaking of Mikey, ever since that day he made that phone call and revealed his brand new plan of accepting you into their friend group, he’s been very quiet. Even throughout today’s meeting, he hasn’t said a word, aside from mentioning that Draken was going to be absent and asking where Kakucho was before the meeting began.

And knowing his brother, a quiet Mikey is a suspicious Mikey.

Now that Izana thinks about it, he’s noticed that Mikey, who was on his side initially had suddenly switched to trying to apologise to you. Which was weird, considering how egocentric Mikey could be on the topic of apologising. Izana has his suspicions, but then again Mikey is unpredictable due to his rather dark impulses, so he couldn’t really say anything yet, until Kakucho came back from his task.

Izana cleared his throat and faced Kisaki again, deciding to be as honest as possible. After all, it’s their fault that he’s in this mess, might as well remind them. “Just thinking about how Emma practically called me a bastard and I’m supposed to be okay with it.” He said nonchalantly and the air in the room shifted into an uncomfortable silence for the upteenth time this week ever since that unfortunate day. It isn’t surprising to anyone as to why though, Izana’s complicated relationship with the Sano’s is a sore topic that no one ever dared to bring up.

From Kisaki’s tight lipped expression, Izana is sure that the younger male is picking his words carefully in his head. Even Hanma who would have laughed or said something to intentionally piss off Izana remains silent. Eventually, Kisaki lets out a resigned sigh. “The audit would be done another time.” He states in a cool tone, putting his laptop aside before facing the two brothers. “It’s obvious we’re not gonna do anything useful until you resolve this issue with Emma and her friend.”

“Really?” The white haired male mocks, causing Kisaki to shift in his place, an irritated frown creasing his face. “would you like to hear my pla-”

“We’re not going to kill a civilian and draw attention to ourselves, Izana. I’ve already told you what to do.” Kisaki snapped back, his yellow eyes darting from Izana to Mikey, before narrowing in irritation. “Both of you. Just apologise to (name), it’s not that hard. You don’t even have to mean it, the girl won’t even know the difference-”

“Ah yes, cause that went well the last time.”

“And whose fault is that? I clearly told you to say “I’m sorry” and all you did was make things worse!”

“I’m just brutally honest.” Izana spits back. “And you can’t blame me because I tried, compared to Mikey who sits on his damn ass and has done nothing-”

“I wasn’t the one who called her a cheap hooker!” Mikey interjects defensively, sitting upright after staying quiet from the start of this meeting, finally saying something.

“Oh, so you can speak.” Izana retorts back, his voice cold. Mikey is so good at shifting blame onto others for actions he has a hand in, especially when he knows it would reflect badly on him. Unfortunately, Izana has been in this game longer than his little brother. “I thought you had gone mute with the way you don’t want to talk about the issue beyond pushing me to apologise to her.”

“You don’t make it any easier with how you talk to people.” Mikey hisses back, his tempo rising with each word, but Izana can hear the slight shake in his voice, almost as if he’s hiding something. “How am I supposed to do anything if you keep saying shit like you’re glad (name)’s gone?”

(Name)?

The entire room falls silent at Mikey’s sudden outburst, or rather what Mikey had just said. No one says a word as they all stare at Mikey in shock, eye wide and mouth hanging open like he’d grown two heads. There’s a glimmer of confusion in the dark eyed male before the realisation of his mistake washes over him, his facial expression changing into a mixture of guilt and pure terror.

As if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

It’s unmistaken. Izana knows his brother is hiding something and it has to do with you. “You’ve never,” he starts slowly, never taking his eyes off Mikey, gauging his facial expression. “called her by her name. You only call girls who you had something to do with by their name.”

“I-”

“You fucked her, didn’t you.” it’s a statement, not a question. Mikey grows pale and it's more of a sure answer than anything else at all.

“I didn’t do anything bad… she’s still a virgin-”

“What.” Kisaki, interjecting as well, cuts him off, his voice cold. “Did. You. Do?”

Mikey is silent. It’s brief and doesn’t last long as he finally seals his fate with a quiet voice. “It’s not my fucking fault, she wore a short skirt and she was asking for it-”

At the side, Kisaki crumples back onto the dining table seat, his head in his hands muttering a quiet “Oh fuck, I should have stayed with Osanai.” as he shakes in disbelief. Hanma just sits there, clearly perturbed, not knowing how to react but at the same time, not really interested.

“Glad to know I’m not the only screw up.” Izana scoffs as well. Despite how cheery his voice sounded, the furious look on his face says a different story altogether. “Since apparently you’re just as stupid as I am.”

Mikey runs a hand through his golden locs, frustration evident on his features. No one has ever seen him look so frantic, like a little kid who broke something and is trying to hide it. “I didn’t do anything wrong. Sure she said no at first but I knew she wanted it when she relaxed in my touch-”

“That’s not what Emma’s gonna think, you idiot!” Izana barks at him angrily, his temper finally off the rails. “You practically threw away your entire plan before it even started! All for what? Mediocre pussy you could get from some other girl? And you know how Shin is about this shit. If Emma finds out and tells him, we’re screwed!”

There’s a mixture of emotions swirling in Izana right now. The urge to punch Mikey was strong, for daring to not only lie to his face, but also making him look like a fool to cover his ass.

Then again, he knows it’s really not Mikey’s fault but yours. You must have done something to make Mikey hurt you because he knows his little brother doesn’t hurt girls. You have this effect of turning people into worse versions of themselves, making them disgusting, evil and hateful.

You turned Emma against them and now you made Mikey’s dark impulses come out.

It’s you that’s the problem.

“So what anyone find out? They won’t believe her” Mikey snarls back, irritated. “She can’t blame me, I told her to fucking leave but she didn’t listen! She was practically begging me to fuck her-”

“ENOUGH!”

Kisaki’s voice is loud enough to silence the two brothers, ending their argument instantly as they breathe heavily from their prior screaming match. Izana slumps back on his seat as Kisaki sits up straight, eyes narrowed. Mikey does the same as Izana, his jaw tightly clenched as he crosses his arms on his chest, feet crossed. The younger male clears his throat, and starts to rationalise the situation.

“It’s obvious that we’re going to switch gears since this happened. We all have a curated reputation that we need to protect so that people don’t nose into our business.” He turns to Mikey who is still glaring hard at Izana. “Your brother has a point, you fucked up our plan by not telling anyone what you did-”

“You judging me too, Kisaki?”

“Can you stop being defensive for once Mikey and just listen!” Kisaki scolds, just about done with everyone making things more difficult for him. “I don’t care what you did to her, whatever affection or lust you have for her is a you problem. I just want this situation to be in our favour.”

The statement makes Izana scoff in dismal fashion, but he decides to ask out of curiosity regardless. “And how do you intend to turn this situation around? Cause right now she has leverage over us and any careless move can put us in a tougher spot than we can handle.”

Kisaki turns his attention fully towards Izana again, a knowing look on his face as he asks. “Is Kakucho done searching Mikey’s car?”

‘How did he know?’ Izana blinks, but then catches Hanma smirking and doesn’t bother to ask his impending questions. Kisaki always had a nasty and suspicious habit of continuously tailing him specifically, and usually it doesn’t go over Izana’s radar when it happens, apart from this instance. Which meant someone was being a rat in his group.

He’ll deal with that later.

Mikey raised a brow in confusion as well, opening his mouth to protest the invasion of his privacy when Izana’s phone suddenly rings. He picks it up, attempting to step out to answer it when Kisaki raises his hand to stop him.

“Answer it here.” Kisaki said, ignoring the way Izana looks at him like he has two heads. “and put it on speaker.”

He had no reason to comply, but he wanted to see where Kisaki was going with whatever plan he had. With a wry smile, Izana put the phone down on the table and slid the answer button, putting it on a loudspeaker.

“Did you find anything Kakucho?”

Ever loyal, Kakucho clears his throat and starts to speak, his voice sounding strained over the phone, as if he’s struggling with something. “Yes boss.” He answers, a twinge of nervousness coating his tone. “There’s a dash cam on the mirror and a spy cam underneath the compartment facing the passenger’s seat…”

Mikey grumbles under his breath something about fucking Kakucho up if anything ends up spoilt or missing in his car but Kisaki holds his hand up to his lips and shushes him. Izana continues once he’s sure his brother is done complaining. “And did you confirm the anonymous tip that we got?”

He can hear Kakucho shift uncomfortably, the silence on the other side of the phone drawn out until he finally says. “Boss, it’s too … I don’t think we should use this against her.” He tries to reason. “I think we’re going too far-”

“Perfect.” Kisaki chimes in, now looking at Izana with a satisfied smile. Kakucho is about to ask why Kisaki was there but Izana cuts him off instead. “Bring it back. I’ll explain once you come to the house.”

“Okay boss.”

The phone line dies and Kisaki, fairly confident in his plan, looks at Izana once again. “I’m sure you know where I’m going, right?”

Izana may think Kisaki is a pathetic brat who just happened to be smart, but right now, it’s like the both of them are connected and in tune with their thoughts. The tanned male stretches his lips into a smile, one full of malice and at the same time, glee, his eyes light with mirth when he realises what Kisaki was thinking.

Finally a plan he could follow along with.

“Alright, I’m all ears.”

THE walk back to your dorm was quiet.

By the time you managed to catch a bus after spending the entire day looking for a job and getting back to campus, it was already late in the night. Save for only the street lamps that were beginning to dim, everywhere else was darker than usual.

You had read that there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight between the hours of 10pm - 00am. The time boldly written on the bus’ digital clock before you got down was 10:45pm, so you already assumed it was the cause of the unnatural darkness tonight.

A long time ago before the world weighed you down, things like this would have made you excited. You loved watching the stars when you were young, trying to check on the papers your father bought to see if there was any space news available. You remember borrowing your immediate elder brother’s binoculars as a makeshift telescope, trying to piece out the stars in the sky or see if you would catch a glimpse of the comet that was said to pass through that week.

Unfortunately, you were young and foolish. Wanting to impress your father, you told him all about your book of constellations that you drew up, detailing the first star that appeared every evening, down to your crazy childish theories about aliens and space.

“Can you show me the book?” your father asked calmly. You should have known it was dangerous for your father to be this calm, but you were too blinded by excitement to think and you gave him the book, a bright smile on your face.

Your smile fell as his large hands ripped your book into shreds, before telling you: “Women don’t dream.”

Maybe that was the day you realised the love you craved from your father will never be given to you. You were so young and impressionable, all you wanted was for him to be proud of you, like he was with his sons. Now, you can’t even look at the stars, the memory leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you try to shake it off as you continue on the path.

You wondered what grievous sin you’ve committed to be so down on your luck like this. Today had been one disappointment to another

You passed by Emma’s dorm building, a sigh escaping your lips. She told you that Draken wanted to take her out for dinner tonight, which shocked you because friends with benefits - according to what Emma herself told you- don’t go on dates or do lovey dovey stuff with each other, to avoid complicated feelings from budding.

Then again, their relationship is based on the fact that they both have feelings for each other, but Draken was not interested in a relationship.

It was already complicated before it began but at least she's taking your advice and talking to them again.

Your eyes darted up to her window, hoping her lights were on. Whenever she was alone, Emma hated sleeping in the dark. She said it reminded her of the times her mother would lock her and Izana in a dark room whenever she brought her customers in. Anytime she was in a darkened room, she told you she could still hear the sound of her mother moaning and a man grunting. Izana would try his best to distract her, playing games or even stealing an earphone and plugging it to his own so that she would listen to music instead of what was going on.

A frown graced your lips when you saw two bodies from the curtain, one tall figure you recognize as Draken and Emma’s smaller dainty figure perched on him, kissing. You quickly averted your eyes and walked faster, ignoring the unfamiliar pang in your chest. Maybe you’re jealous because you needed your friend’s comfort right now and she wasn’t available. You felt greedy for this, after spending a week with her, you should let her be free.

‘She has her own life to live. And I have mine’ you muttered to yourself as you trudged along the path, slowly dragging your feet. ‘I have to stop being so dependent on her.’

Eventually, your thoughts drift back to your reoccurring dream. Losing your job made you realise that if you didn’t do anything about it, your tiredness would eventually catch up to you and ruin everything else you’ve worked for. With an important test scheduled for tomorrow, you knew you could not afford to take another loss this week. You had to power through your sleep tonight, even if it traumatised you.

‘Maybe I should pretend that I like it. Pretend it’s okay and enjoy it so that I won’t have to wake up.’ You shook your head, cursing as you drew closer to your own dorm building. ‘Oh God, how far I’ve fallen. Look at me trying to enjoy a disgraceful act-’

You paused in your tracks at the sound of a leaf crushing. You quickly turned around, trying to ascertain who could be lurking there behind the bushes. Your palms started sweating, your nerves firing at the thought of being watched.

Silence.

You decided to continue walking, assuming that maybe you were hearing things and there wasn’t anything at all. Nighttime always had a way of making you nervous, especially with all the horrible stories you heard about innocent women being attacked around these times. Besides, looking around for whatever may be lurking was a dumb idea.

You should just get out of here.

Eventually, you make it to your dorm house in record time, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. ‘Maybe I’m being paranoid. But at least I’m safe now.’ You think to yourself as you push the door open, closing it behind you.

Weary from the day’s stress, your body starts to give up on you but you push through, trying your best to just make it to your room. You’re sure you would just collapse on your bed the second you got there and forget about anything else.

But as you reach for the handle, a feeling of dread washes over you, the same one you felt when you were outside. ‘I really need to let this go. There’s no harm waiting for me. It’s just my room.’ You mutter to yourself. Your overthinking has cost you a lot, from your job to your academics and right now, you really need it to stop. Pushing whatever feeling was keeping you away, you walked into the darkened room.

You finally make it to your room, about to rummage your bag for the keys when you notice the door was unlocked. ‘Oh? Ami must have come back rather early, since I barely see her until 2am.’

(From here is edited)

The first thing that greeted you was the stench of some kind of smoke -weed, the kind that Ami liked to use whenever she was in the room. You always hated the smell and you recall telling her to leave the windows open whenever she wanted to smoke. Coughing, you quickly covered your nose and mouth with one hand and reached to turn on the light with another. “Ami, how many times have I told you to open the window whenever you smoke? You know I don’t like the smell-”

Your blood turns to ice the moment light floods the room, your mouth dry as you stare at the man perched on your reading chair, a leg crossed over the other, the weed blunt hanging between his tanned hands. His lips are stretched into a sick grin, showing all his teeth, purple eyes shining with an odd mirth as he glances at you up and down.

Izana Kurokawa.

‘Run’

You don’t need to be told twice, quickly discarding your bag and running towards the direction of the door, only to hit someone hard, standing tall in your way. You look up fearfully to see mismatched eyes, a scar running down his face and flinch backwards in reflex. It’s as if he gazes at you with pity, but quickly switches to a blank stare as he stands between you and the door.

You know him from hanging around Emma a lot in the Tenjiku frat house, Kakucho. He’s always around Izana and only loyal to him for some reason that you don’t know. He doesn’t listen to anyone else, not even Mikey. You realise that he might have been the one that was following you when you were walking home.

Begging him to let you pass would be futile.

“Don’t worry, I’m just here to have a little chat with you. I’m not going to hurt you.” His tone is calm, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort. If Mikey could hurt you without any remorse, then there’s nothing stopping Izana from doing worse to you. “And as much as your backside is as interesting as your face, I prefer talking to someone who is looking at me.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” The words fly out from your mouth before you even think of a more appropriate response but it doesn’t seem to give him any form of reaction other than a dry laugh.

He scoffed. “I don’t care. Turn around.”

Reluctantly you slowly turn to face him again, your body trembling as your fear filled eyes lock with his. Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear heavy footsteps walk out of the door, shutting it behind you, locks turning and trapping you with Izana.

‘Oh God oh God oh God.’

Your fear doesn’t go unnoticed by the white haired man, and he only chuckles at how stiff you were. Between the two brothers, you know Izana thrives in fear, using it to his advantage and it’s not unfounded. Notwithstanding his backing from Black dragons, Izana had taken Tenjiku from a down and out frat house, to a den of crime that holds power, trickling right into the administration of the university. Even his men know better than to ever get themselves in his bad books, because no one can ever escape him, no matter how much you try to run.

It was only a matter of time until he would make you pay for causing him problems, but you didn’t think he’d come by himself. You felt stupid for thinking he wouldn’t care about you or he’d forget how angry he was at you and leave you alone, especially with Emma still not on speaking terms with them.

He motions with his bunt for you to come closer to him and you comply, taking careful steps until you’re standing right in front of him. He eyes you again with a tepid frown. “When you meet a king, you don’t stand before him, you kneel.”

Kneel. You want to assume he’s not serious but you know better than to question him and go down on your knees, focusing your gaze firmly on your lap. It’s humiliating the way he has you at his mercy, without even moving an inch but it’s better to be compliant than to aggravate him even further by being disobedient.

You’ve learned the hard way what could happen if you resist.

From the corner of your eyes, you watch as Izana puts out his weed blunt on your reading table leaving a sorching mark on the table, before reaching behind his waistband. Your mouth grows dry the second you see the gun, your heart pounding against your chest as he presses the barrel to your head.

‘Oh god.’ You gasp as he presses it further against your head, until you’re sure it would leave an indent. ‘He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me…’

“That’s odd,” He murmurs. “Usually, other people would be begging for their lives when met with a gun to their head, but you’re quiet. If not for the way your hands are trembling, I’d think you weren’t scared.”

This time, with a gun pointed at your head, you’re careful with your words. “Y-you said you won’t hurt me.” Your voice shakes with fear but you continue. You know men like Izana, he reminds you of your older brother who ruled the house apart from your father, with fear and control. Sometimes, when you were able to stroke his ego, he’d go easy on you. Maybe that would work on Izana too. “That you want to talk.”

“And what if I changed my mind? Pulled the trigger? That’ll make my life easier, yeah? I won’t have to fight for my sister’s love and affection with you.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat when you hear the safety go off and watch as his finger curls around the trigger. ‘Oh God, he’s going to kill me. He’ll shoot me dead. I-i have to say something- I don’t want to die-’

“I-i trust you not to do it.” You reply, your lips trembling as you struggle not to think of your head scattered into pieces on the floor if he chooses to kill you. “You’re a man of your words.”

There’s another complete silence that engulfs the entire room, until you hear a click that makes you flinch for a split second, waiting for the bullet that would end it all. Instead, it’s him putting the safety back on, and chuckling at your reaction.

“You trust me? How foolish.” He laughs, tracing the gun from your head down to underneath your chin and forcing you to look up at him. You’ve only read about people with empty eyes in stories, but seeing it in person was so terrifying. “Is that why you ended up with Mikey in his car?”

All the blood rushes from your head to the tip of your toes. “H-how do you kn-”

“I have eyes and ears in this school, (name).” You’re sure it’s the first time you’ve heard him call you by your name and despite being in a life or death situation, you couldn’t control the shiver that ran through your spine. “You wanted him to touch you, right?”

“T-that is not what happened!” You suddenly cried out, trying to explain your own side of the story. Of all the people who know your dirty and shameful secret, Izana is the worst pick, just your luck. “It was a mistake! I tried to tell him I didn’t want it but I couldn’t-”

“Ah ah -” Izana cuts you off, tilting your chin higher with the gun. “Don’t lie to me. You must have planned the entire thing to make Mikey look bad”

“No! I wasn’t trying to do anything, I just wanted to talk-”

“Really? Cause Mikey told me an entirely different story-”

“No, no I- didn’t… -”

“You were dangling yourself like a piece of meat for him to fuck and he’s a man, you know. He has urges and it's hard to resist temptation.”

“That’s not true-” your lips start to tremble at his words, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to be assaulted, you just wanted to talk to him about the Emma issue and you wanted to apologise. “That’s not true-”

“Oh but it is.” He said firmly, now leaning in closer to your face until there’s barely any inches between the two of you. “And now Mikey feels like a piece of shit because he couldn’t stop himself.”

“No-” your voice is small, trying to defend yourself but even you are beginning to doubt your own credibility with how he keeps twisting the narrative around until you begin to actually believe him.

‘No! Don’t let him make you think you’re in the wrong! You know what happened!’

“He even told you to leave but you refused to. You were baiting him to just do something to you so that you can tell everyone how bad Mikey is and make yourself get more sympathy points. Am I wrong?”

“No! I would never do that to Mikey!” You don’t realise your tempo had suddenly gotten high or that tears had started to drip down your face, but Izana did. He doesn’t point it out, staying quiet as you start to shout at him. “I would never bait him into hurting me! I just wanted to make up with him because I felt that I overreacted at the party I swear! And then he touched me in the car -”

“And you never reported him to the school authorities? Why? Did you want to blackmail him for money-”

“Because I love him!”

The words flew out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself from saying them.

Your heart drops as a mischievious glint appears in Izana’s eyes. His smile drops slightly, still maintaining the gun on your chin. “You love him?” He says slowly, testing out the words on his lips. “Love? Mikey?” He looks so deep in thought, like the concept sounds so foreign to him that he almost can’t believe it. His gaze falls back to you again, a quiet scoff emanating from his lips. “You really have no shame, do you?”

Unable to maintain eye contact with him, you break away from his gaze, biting down on your lips to prevent yourself from falling apart. When you don’t respond, Izana takes your silence as an opportunity to keep talking. “If you love him so much, then what’s wrong with what you both did in the car that day? It was what you wanted, wasn't it?”

“Not like that…”

“But you claim to love him.” Izana is calm and cool, while you’re stuttering on your words, making you look like you’re the one who is wrong. Like what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense to begin with and he’s the one saying something of reason. “And yet, you didn’t even notice he wasn’t himself that day. Or did you take advantage of his fragile state of mind?”

“I would NEVER-”

“You would, because you get to be the so-called victim and he gets to be the villain in your own story. Do you really know the implication of your actions?”

“That’s not right.” You don’t even realize how quiet you’ve gotten, your voice full of uncertainity. “I didn’t … it’s not…”

“Shut up.” He cuts you off again with a firm tone, tapping the gun on your chin gently to enunciate his point. “The reason why I haven’t put a bullet through your head as much as I want to is because I love Emma. I love Emma so much I’d kill for her and I’d resist the urge to kill for her. That’s how Sano’s love. That’s true love. That's something you'll never ever experience.”

You stay silent, trying to understand what exactly Izana was calling love. He leaned closer, making you feel even smaller. “If Emma finds out, she’ll think Mikey intentionally hurt you and she will hate him. But I guess that’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“Never. I don’t want her to hate him” your inner voice telling you it’s not your fault, is nothing more than a whisper, the feeling of guilt and shame overtaking you until you’re almost suffocating. “I just want them to be happy…”

“Then you know exactly what you’re meant to do, right?”

Of course you know what to do. Ever since you were child, it’s been drilled into your head. Whenever your brothers hit you a bit too hard or your father went overboard with his belt and you ended up in the hospital, your mother would take you aside to issue a warning that still rings in your head. That had terrible consequences if you refused to follow through with it.

You nod weakly. It really doesn’t matter what is right and wrong when it comes to the Sano’s, but what they want. Izana taps the gun on your chin again, shaking his head. “I need a verbal answer.”

“I won’t tell anybody what happened. Especially not Emma.”

Satisfied, he withdrew his gun from your chin and your face falls onto his lap, unable to support your head any longer. You feel a hand reaching down to pet your head, like you were a dog who had just been tamed by her new owner. The strength to push him off or stand up had left you, feeling drained as the weight of guilt settle down on your shoulders, heavily. You know you shouldn’t believe anything Izana says, but then again he does have a point. Maybe you should have been more receptive of Mikey’s touch or at least be polite about declining him instead of shoving him off and hurting his pride.

You feel so utterly powerless. Despite being wronged, you know there’s nothing you can really do to save yourself. You don’t think you can bear the traumatic experience of being an outlier again.

Mikey. You don’t want to hurt him. You don’t want anyone thinking he’s a bad person over a singular action.

'Maybe it’s not as bad as I think, I did enjoy it mid-way, so it should count as something. Right?'

You feel sick just trying to think about it.

“You know, if you’re this obedient, we can get along just fine.” He hums, breaking the silence as he pets your head gently. You hate yourself right now. How easy it is to do whatever it is that you’re told because disobedience is not an option. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want to know what I’ll do to you if you break your promise.”

“No” your voice is quiet. You feel tired, sick maybe, you don’t know. Maybe it’s the weed he smoked earlier affecting your judgement and reasoning. Or it’s the lack of sleep that has made it difficult for you to think straight or stand up. Either way, you don’t care. “I don’t.”

“Good girl.”

Bonus:

You know he’s mocking you, but you accept it, like you do with every circumstance thrown at you.

  IZANA looks down at your sleeping figure with a curious gaze.

For a moment, he almost pities you. Despite the faint glow of the room lighting, he can see the dark circles underneath your eyes and how stressed you look. For someone who is actively working to pay her fees while sustaining herself with no one caring for her, it must be hard being abandoned by society.

He can see why Emma picked you to be her friend, she always had a trait of picking up stray animals who had no one because she wanted something to protect. It’s no different with you, the way she’s so fiercely loyal to you and why she wanted you to be accepted by their family. No wonder she was hurt when you were vehemently rejected by them.

If he had a conscience, he’d feel bad for you. You love Mikey, of all people, someone who only saw you as a nuisance and to push the blame of his actions onto. All those times Mikey was cruel to you must have hurt the most because you truly cared about what he thinks about you.

He’s careful when he lifts your head from his lap, not wanting to wake you up. He puts your head on the chair and turns to leave, already overstaying his welcome. He’s done the thing he was supposed to, ensuring you stayed quiet about Mikey’s actions and there’s no need for him to be here any longer.

As he walked to the door, his mind goes back to you. In a way, you and him were similar. All alone, unwanted, with nobody in the world to care about you, cold, uncaring parents who didn’t think twice in terms of abandoning you both. The only difference between you and him is that he grew a backbone and you haven’t. You’re like a kicked dog who continues to stay on the ground to get kicked, in hopes the person kicking you stops eventually.

As long as you stay on the ground, people like him will keep kicking you.

He knocks loudly on the door and the locks turn. Kakucho opens it for him, peering inside with a worried gaze, his eyes settling on your body slumped over a chair.

“Did you hit -”

“I didn’t touch her.” Izana snaps at the taller male, stepping out of the room properly. “She’s fine, physically at least. Emotionally she’s a mess. But that’s Mikey’s problem to fix.”

“Huh?”

It wouldn’t hurt to tell Kakucho your little secret.  “Apparently (name)’s in love with my dear brother Mikey so she’s keeping quiet what he did to her.” a cruel smile stretches across his face. “How pathetic.”

Kakucho frowns at Izana’s statement, but as usual he doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, his eye darts back to your form again, taking a good look at you, his eyes softening. Ever the gentleman.

“She shouldn’t really stay like that Izana, she’ll get a stiff neck-”

“Kakucho.”

That was enough to end the conversation.

special thanks to: (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @ilybbg @merrymerrykiss @cockonoi @Rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @GenAwi @ryuguji-sana @nuyoo @reiners-milkbiddies @kiwixpi @gh0stgirl333 @brisssaaa009 @fushiqruo @kawaiikoalagarden @damidamimongalam @raven-nevra @ilovetwodmen @kodzubaby @straightfromheaven @manchie55 @pikibee @tomeyano @matchamilktea-05 @tenjikusstuff4 @m0onz1 @hapikiou @rainnyzz @Lovelyartistz @lik0 @maraya-007 @thisismarisaaa @reeyy0-2 @littlemisspropaganda @cherie026

[sirensplayhouse]

hi! i entered the void this morning and i basically just wanted to send this here since i know a lot of people struggle. ive always been a person who’s been confident in myself and especially in the law of assumption since i am the one who chooses what works for me. i never interact with the communities or over consume the information that’s being put out because at the end of the day, the law literally speaks on being the operant power. if you assume, and persist in that assumption then it is true. stop asking or seeking for help when you are the only person who can help yourself. you can intake all of this information, but still not apply yourself if you are NOT willing to make an inner change. put your foot down, and give yourself structure. nobody else can do it for you. it is up to you to stop overcomplicating something so simple. do whatever feels comfortable and resonates with you. we all believe in the law of assumption yet have so many different views and perspectives which is perfectly fine. just because someone said something else that contradicted your belief shouldn’t change your belief at all. you are god, you are the creator, and anything is possible. go apply that knowledge instead of letting it marinate and you’ll see how easy it really is.

i’m rarely on social media (well mostly social media communities that deal with LOA because i just don’t have the time to interact with all the negativity that goes on, my energy is too good for all that.) but i’d love to be '🪦' anon if it’s not taken just incase there’s any questions.

LOOK AT YOU DROPPING GEMS ALREADY😮‍💨anyways y’all need to read this over and over until it’s stuck👍🏾

but congratulations on tapping into the void love <3, anddddd OFC YOU CAN HONESTLY WHAT TYPA QUESTION IS THAT✋🏾🙄welcome to the family love🫶🏾happy to have you 🕺🏾!

[elliesdoll]

idk why i keep thinking abt angsty loser!ellie… she is my baby

nsfw! just ellie masturbating n crying (me) 𝜗𝜚

pts 2 & 3 already posted!

a wonderful anon said my fic reminded them of this song and they r so right… listen to it rn

daily click! do not buy tlou free palestine 🇵🇸

ellie was so in love with you. she is so in love with you.

you are her light. your smile, your laugh, your everything. she just couldn’t get enough of you. being friends with you was probably the best blessing god could ever gift her, yet also the worst punishment.

she knew she could never have you.

not in the way she wanted, anyway.

you talk ellie’s ear off almost everyday, and ellie never gets tired of it. your sweet voice that felt like pure honey and warmth being poured into her ears. so sickly sweet. she swore you were a siren of some sort.

you were so perfect and you didn’t even know it. you would tell ellie about your escapades and little ‘situationships’ as you’d like to call it, and it made her sick. every last person you talked about seemed like shit. she couldn’t believe that you thought that’s all you were worthy of.

she would worship you if you gave her the chance.

she told you the same thing each time: “fuck them. you know you’re too pretty for them anyway.”

and you were always grateful for her. who else would remind you of your worth? you needed her, she was your rock. your fidgety, awkwardly nerdy rock.

she was always the shy type. or she was around you, at least. she was never too bashful, but sometimes she’d slip and show you just how nervous you make her. her freckled skin would turn all pink, her eyes avoiding your gaze. she’d have an awkward, thin-lipped smile, and you could feel the clamminess of her hands if she was touching you. you’d find it cute, how she’d just melt if you two were touching or you’d give her a compliment on literally anything.

but what you didn’t know, is how she hated herself for it.

after anytime you two hung out, she’d go home, stomping to her room and looking down at her feet. “so fucking stupid.” she’d mutter to herself, thinking of all the times she stuttered around you or got all warm in the face. but without fail, each little mishap would lead to her in her bed, a string of curses leaving her mouth while pathetically fingering herself to the thought of you.

one particular night, she had shown up to your house unannounced. knocking at your door, leaning back on her heels as she waited for you to open up.

she doesn’t normally do this. she never does this. but she thought maybe you two had gotten close enough. just enough for her to show up at your home anytime she felt like seeing you.

so when you opened the door, and she saw your hair a bit disheveled, your cheeks flushed and what appeared to be a hickey below your jaw, that thought quickly went away.

“fuck, els. i’m sorry but… really bad timing.”

you said with a light chuckle, giving her an apologetic smile. she just stared at you, eyes wide and her cheeks red.

“fuck. i’m sorry, shit. i don’t know why i showed up here— i wasn’t thinking. sorry.”

she mutters, stuttering over her words. she hated how her tummy got all fuzzy and how her boxers suddenly felt all warm and soaked. all while having the biggest lump in her throat.

before you could say anything back, she was already speed walking away from your front door, down to her car. she got in and drove away, not even bothering to see if you were still there, watching her.

she felt so fucking stupid. her vision was blurry as she drove home, speeding until she finally parked in her driveway. who the fuck was in your house? which one was it fucking you? did they even love you like she did? she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

she swung the door open, then slammed it behind her as she ran to her room. she closed the door and locked in, and let the tears flow. she kicked her beat up converse off, and aggressively rubbed her cheeks to get rid of the wet tears that rolled down them.

“fucking idiot.”

“why the fuck would i?— god.”

“what did i think? she doesn’t love me.”

she mumbles to herself, all through hiccups and stuttered breaths. her pretty cheeks are wet with hot tears, her eyes red and watery. even her poor nose is all stuffed up, making her sound nasally as she dumbly insults herself.

one by one, she removes her clothes. she fiddles with the button of her jeans and undoes it, hooking her thumbs under the band of her boxers at the same time, and kicks it all off. she then moves to her hoodie, messily taking it off and cursing when it gets stuck on her little bun. she even takes her sports bra off, which she never does.

fully naked and vulnerable, she turns all the lights off and crawls into bed.

she sobs into her pillow, feeling like some pathetic idiot. she doesn’t know why she ever thought you’d feel for her the way she feels for you. she felt so fucking perverted too— getting wet over the idea of you getting fucked. getting wet over your smile, your touch.

she sniffles, her slender hand slithering down to her pussy. she sighs as her middle finger lightly swipes by her clit, feeling just how wet she is. she brings her ring finger into the mix and circles her clit, gathering all the wetness from her clenching hole.

she moans, quietly. ellie isn’t typically a moaner, but she is right now. she is for you. she rubs her clit rapidly, the sounds of her squelching pussy filling her dark room. she closes her eyes, not wanting to cum too quick. she stars to think about you, and her fingers go to plug her hole.

she imagines you below her, giving her that sweet smile as she made love to you. she wanted to love you so bad, it hurt.

“oh god— shit,” she whined to herself, legs spread and feet planted on her bed, knees bent as she mercilessly fucked herself to the thought of you. she wanted to make you cum by her fingers, mouth, cunt— whatever the fuck you wanted.

her imagination switched to your mouth on her pussy, lapping at her clit and eating her out like you’d die if you didn’t. she let out a shaky whine, imagining that her fingers were your tongue, moving in and out of her as your nose nudged her clit.

ellie’s breath sped up, her eyebrows knitted upwards as she felt that hot, sticky feeling in her belly just come flooding out. her cunt pushed out and clenched around her fingers, as she cums with a strangled cry. her body covered in a thin layer of sweat, and her thighs trembling as her slick came gushing out of her, staining her sheets below her.

she slowly pulled her fingers out, catching her breath. she could feel her heart in her ears. but the ache never left. she’s still crying, just not as theatrically. she doesn’t even bother cleaning herself up or her bed, just turning to the side and hugging her pillow. she shoves her face into the plush pillow, her wet face dampening the fabric. and there, cum sticking her thighs and pussy together, naked, she fell asleep.

and she’ll never move on, either. you haunt her, even in her dreams. doomed to love you in every reality.

aaakkk i dunno how to end these 😖 this is my first fic(?) drabble thingy ever so pls be gentle haha lol ☺️☺️☺️👍

this is so rushed bai 😑

[bunny584]

For I Have Sinned

“Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God’ For God cannot be tempted by evil.” James 1:13.

But Father Geto can be. 

Newly appointed Chaplain of the Noble Court, Suguru is a reformed sinner. Sanctity, discipline and celibacy are commandments of his choosing. A devout servant of the Lord. Armored with the Breastplate of Righteousness, the Shield of Faith. 

This should be sufficient enough to withstand temptation. 

Right? 

Pairing: Geto x Female reader 

C/W: Religious themes, dark romance, eventual filth. 18+. MDNI. 

A/N: Holy hell. Anon, you sick, twisted genius. You, the puppeteer. Me, the puppet who writes. This one — this story might be the one. Frothing at the mouth to know what you guys think. Going on AO3 for sure. I haven’t decided if I will keep this long fic series here, but since it was an anon ask its only right to honor them with the first chapter. 

Art credit: @ potchi_jpg on X

Music: Garden Kisses x Giveon (this was on a manic repeat for at least an hour. It wrote the chapter. I implore you to listen and levitate like I did).

CHAPTER I. Hello, Duchess.

Andesite. Dacite. Schist. 

Gorgeous. 

Suguru takes a mental note of the rock formations whizzing by just before he spears the Aegean Sea. Tailwind force trailing his feet in an elegant whirl.

Eh, mediocre landing. He’s out of practice. 

It’s true. Seminary did not allow for too much idle time in between biblical studies. Devil’s playground, and such. 

And it’s not in his nature to half-ass any life endeavor, whatever it may be. 

Suguru deftly levels out in the welcoming waves. Loose-limbed and fluid. Choosing to hover below her surface for a few moments longer. The tail end of his thick, singular French braid undulating behind him.

His body flows in tandem with the current. Swimming deep enough to scatter a pool of Fagri. He instinctively captures one in his large hand — not quite as out-of-touch as he thought. 

‘Make it to shore! If Poseidon calls, don’t answer Him, son!’

The gentle fisherman called out each time Suguru dove off their vessel. Still two or three, sometimes up to five miles from the coast, he’d plunge into the waters. Regardless of her mood, Suguru craved to be surrounded by her embrace. 

To be baptized by her tide. 

Showered with her salt of the earth. 

A dampened smile blooms across Suguru’s terse lips. Oxygen bubbles float about, from the muffled chuckle escaping him. 

His father’s voice rings between his ears. A little less clearly, nowadays. 

He always dove deeper than his fellow seafarers. Without the restraints of gear or protective equipment. Unnaturally comfortable in an element more labile than human nature. 

Suguru’s father mused about his Stormborn boy’s true lineage. 

‘Everyday, I prayed for you. Begged for you. And the God of the Ocean delivered a precious gift. Don’t return to His storms too soon.’

Fond memories, a little yellowed now. Callouses from those days have faded. 

Suguru is a different man. Born again. In a new country. With a new home, a new purpose. 

Even still, it’s comforting to know the world is 70% water, 30% land. And the Great Majority has always welcomed him with open arms.

No matter the iteration of his life, he’ll always find a home at Sea.

“Father Geto!”

What? 

Suguru begins his ascent. He is still by the cliff edge. Not nearly far enough for the Sirens to beckon. 

“Chaplain! Are you out there?”

Not even the saltwater penetrates his ears like this melody. 

An ethereal crescendo. With all the grace and beauty of a summer swan. Light enough to lull stoic men to a peaceful, permanent, slumber. 

More alluring. More disorienting than the songs at sea he’s heard and resisted. Potent enough to drown a warship. 

Who is calling for him?

Suguru chases the lethal sound. Careful pauses at each depth-level. To avoid returning to Poseidon’s storms too soon, as his father would say. 

“Father Geto!” 

Ahh, a voice he recognizes. His alter boy, Noel, at the peak.

Helios is kind, today. Because the Sun kisses Suguru as he breaks the surface. If the Ocean is his home, the Sun is certainly his lover. 

“What is it, Noel?” He calls in between strides to the volcanic edge.

“You have a visitor!” A tremble to Noel’s tone. Suguru cant help the low chuckle that leaves him.

Adolescents are always so anxious. Nervous about the most inconsequential, meaningless things. He was once the same. 

Who could be visiting? His schedule is supposed to be cleared today. 

Suguru laments leaving his clothing at the peak of the cliffside. Tossing a glance over his left shoulder - memories of his past life tattooed in various symbols. His back, covered in a sprawling trident. 

A permanent stain from the life he lived before this. It’s unbecoming of a priest to be seen this way. 

Latching onto the unforgiving rocky edges, Suguru scales the steep terrain in long steps and short holds. Serrated earth digs into his damp palms with each grasp.

He savors the pain. It’s familiar. An indication that he’s spent some time in the only other place he finds unfettered peace. 

“Noel, my schedule was cleared. Who could be—“

“Pardon my intrusion, Father Geto.” You seep into Suguru’s sentence, effectively answering his question. 

Music. 

Suguru nearly falls backward off the ledge he just set foot on.

Rumors about your beauty pollenated the compound for weeks. Anxiously anticipating your arrival. Hushed voices between maidens. Whispers within the walls of parlors. Bellowing gossip between court officials. 

All the words, all the speculations roll around Suguru’s skull. Louder than glass shattering in an empty room. 

They were wrong. 

Liars. 

Not even a tenth of the truth can be found in the frivolous ‘she’s a beauty’, ‘what a pretty face’ and comments of the like taking root in the compound. 

No, no. 

You were sculpted by every single Deity Suguru has ever studied.  

Because the One he has chosen to worship couldn’t have possibly crafted you alone. 

The good Lord is simply without the means.

Suguru will have to repent for that blasphemous thought later. 

…but God granted him eyesight, no? 

Eyes that can see underwater with the same clarity as a cloudless day. He trusts his eyes more than any part of his body. 

And they aren’t deceiving him. 

Flushed and turned away, Suguru takes a moment to soak you in, while patting himself dry. Maybe taking a little extra time to step into his khaki slacks and white button up. 

His wind pipe threatens to spasm with each sip of you he takes. 

Exquisite woman. 

You could convert a non believer in an instant. 

The gentle slope of your nose, those warmed soft, high cheeks deserve to be cherished in a museum. 

That dress. 

The tailor must’ve sewn it to your body in real time. Rolling hills and dips of your feminine curves. So quick to surrender to the ride your frame is taking him on. 

Suguru could fall to his knees and praise the Gods right here and now for their attention to detail. 

“Duchess? I’m embarrassed. Forgive my attire, I wasn’t expecting visitors today.”

Still damp but fully clothed, Suguru walks forward with a steady hand outstretched. Intentionally skipping eye contact with Noel, who would’ve interpreted the glance as anger. The boy is practically vibrating in his periphery. 

Concerned about possibly making a mistake, sure. But if Suguru were still a betting man, he’d bet your presence is driving Noel’s rattled nerves. 

“I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness!” Unveiling your face to him with a gorgeous smile, you offer a delicate hand that drowns in his. 

Well.

To call it just a gorgeous smile makes him no better than the rumor mill and its grave underestimation. 

The air around him is sliced to a fraction of what it was. Suddenly gossamer thin and inadequate. 

You are breathtaking. 

���Please.” A deceptively even tone and casual wave of his hand. You wouldn’t know that words taste like sandpaper. 

“How can I serve you, Duchess?” 

“You do not have to address me as such, Father. I’m not wed, yet!”

Bunny lines along your nose deepen when you laugh. Heat scorches Suguru’s ears and you both are presently under shade. 

Do. Not. Covet.

“It’s all the same.” With a restrained smile, Suguru peels his eyes away from yours. 

Resting them on his rectory in the distance. He gestures his hands forward. Noel scrambles ahead of you two, undoubtedly to go tidy the chapel (that is already spotless). 

“You’re quite the swimmer.” 

You could assassinate him, you know. 

With that voice of yours. The way it stuns his senses. Far more dangerous now that it isn’t dampened by unrelenting waves. 

Suguru is a strong swimmer. He knows it. Noel knows it. The whole court knows it. Great Whites know it. 

So why is his spine unraveling at its seams when you say it? 

Why is his heart knocking against his sternum like it’s on the run from something? 

From someone, rather. 

“Mmm.” Suguru hums through closed lips. 

Unable to acknowledge the compliment with decorum. He opts for diversion instead. 

“Duchess, if I may. What prompted your visit to the chapel? How can I serve you?” 

The two of you take lazy strides along the cobblestone path. You ogle at a white rose bush that Suguru is particularly fond of. 

“I was touring the compound and noticed the garden surrounding the Church.” 

A distracted response, while nestling your nose in a pretty bloom. Sun rays fanning your face as if to showcase that you’re God’s favorite. A biblical example of how flowers should be enjoyed.

Is it just the roses? Or are you this beautiful no matter the plant?  

“Ahh. Come, then.” 

You’re being indulgent, Suguru. 

Maybe so. But the Chapel Grounds are his domain. The greenery lives and breathes under his fingertips. He adamantly refused a groundskeeper for the garden. Taking pride in nurturing its needy existence. 

Second only to his eyes, Suguru trusts his hands fully. They’re intelligent. Fast. Expansive. 

Definitive. Firm when the situation calls for it, yet gentle. Quick to learn. 

Attentive. 

He’s never gotten a shortage of compliments on his hands—

“Wisteria!” You torpedo through Suguru’s rapidly disintegrating spiral. And he couldn’t be more grateful. 

Regaining a shred of control, he leads you under the oak archway. Draped in curtains of Wisteria. The billowing lilac petals sway romantically in the sea breeze. 

Your lips hang open in a pretty, shocked ‘Oh.’ Eyes wide, gazing up at him in wonder. Adoration woven into those beautiful features slams hot and heavy into his lower abdomen. Remnant embers warming below his belt line. 

Suguru coughs to reset his over-sensitive senses. A futile gesture because you knock him right back down to his knees. 

“Oh, Father…..please?” A soft plea rolls through the slit in your lips. Pulling his eyes down to your pout.

Fuck. 

The rock formation Suguru took note of earlier suddenly materializes in his throat. You coated his honorific in a new tone. Breathy and desperate. As if he is the only person who could satisfy your needs. 

His skin is half a degree away from melting clear off his skeleton under those big, warm eyes of yours. 

“Specify your request, Duchess.”

Both hands jam into his pockets so he can dig his nails into his thighs unnoticed. The searing pain tethering him to this dimension. 

A deep rose blooms over your cheeks. Realizing you hadn’t actually asked him a question before begging. 

So, prettily. 

“May I please tend to your garden? It’s…I’m far from home and gardening brings me so much joy. Please, Father Geto—“

“Yes.” 

His agreement comes well before Suguru is ready. Or, thought it through. 

Should a noble woman be seen doing tasks as menial as gardening? 

Should you be seen without your fiancée on his grounds? 

What will you look like? 

Kneeling over a bed of sunflowers? 

Kneading the soil with your delicate, small hands—

“How can I thank you?” Your lips curl into an intoxicating smile. And Suguru no longer has the capacity to be in your presence. 

“No need, stay as long as you like. I have to take my leave.”

Suguru offers a curt wave and terse smile before spinning on his heel. Leaving you, a work of art, beneath the masterpiece that is his arc of wisteria. 

He barrels down the Chapel corridors at light speed. The pews, confessional, meeting rooms whirl by his periphery in a drunken haze.

Cold water. Cold water. 

The wooden bathroom door creaks and wails beneath his harsh touch. Suguru fumbles with the two-level lock.

He nearly strips down naked. The fire incinerating him from within is unbearable. If there were scissors within grasp he would’ve cut his braid completely off. Because even the familiar sway of his waist length mane along his back is too much. 

You are too much.

Suguru’s fingers unravel his braid and reposition his locks into a tight bun. Off the damp skin along his neck. 

‘Father….please?’

Your voice echoes from Suguru’s incapacitated brain down to his drooling cock. Icy water splashes against face. 

Suguru’s length has been weeping since you first revealed your face to him. Twitching and thrashing with every single word that came out of that pretty, sinful mouth. He’s never been so grateful that today he chose to swim with compression gear, rather than his usual bared skin. 

Are you doing this on purpose?

Wide eyed and demure. But with a voice more beautiful than any siren that has tried to lure him to his watery grave. 

Is this a test?

Suguru’s fingers desperately grasp the golden cross around his neck. Digging the symbol into his palm. 

“Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners…” He starts. Ignited, smoldering violet eyes staring back at him are unrecognizable. 

They are not of God. 

They are dark. 

Lust filled. 

“Now. And…and at the hour of our death.” Words slip through his gritted teeth. His other hand grips the sink edge. 

‘May I please tend to your Garden?’

“God. Please.” Suguru is the one pleading. To anyone above.

For self-control. For reprieve from the shape of your lips when you beg. His cock bucks against his inner thigh. Demanding attention to the ache between his legs. 

Are you Eve? 

Have you come to destroy his Eden?

Your delectable mounds barely hidden beneath that fucking dress as the Apple?

“Holy…Holy Mary, Mother of God…pray for us sinners.” His vice grip around the cross tightens. Babbling words he hopes can provide him with some restraint, some clarity.

They don’t.

Because his other hand now hovers over the pulsating bulge in his slacks. His manhood starved. Especially having been deprived of touch. Of warmth for longer than Suguru remembers.

“Holy…Mary…fuck.” Blasphemy rolling off his tongue. 

Scorching heat radiating from his hovering palm pierces his clothing. Encasing his cock like a warmed blanket. Enticing him like the soft sex of a woman. Every single muscle is under wire tension. Forcing space between his need and his hand. 

His hands. Don’t forsake him now. He trusts his hands. 

“Father Geto? Are you alright?” Noel’s call from the other side of the door startles Suguru still.

“I’m—“ Suguru clears his dry throat “I’m alright, Noel. What do you need?”

“I saw you run in here and—“

“I’m okay.” Suguru replies, more softly this time. The boy is almost too tender-hearted for his own good.

He doesn’t miss the small sigh of relief. 

“I left your updated schedule on your desk.” 

“And what would I do without you?”

Suguru can almost hear Noel smiling across the barrier. Gleefully padding away. Completely unaware that his presence was the saving grace from disgracing himself. 

Another splash of cold water on his face and multiple deep breaths later, Suguru finally gains enough composure to emerge. 

Curious about the updates to his schedule, he strides to his office. A leather folder awaits with his itinerary.

Saturday: 0800 - 1000- Youth lecture 

Saturday: 1800 - 2000 - Evening mass

Sunday: 0700 - 0900 - Morning mass

Sunday: 1300 - 1400 - Pre-Marital Counseling [CONFIDENTIAL] 

“High court, then.” Suguru muses to himself. Pulling out the envelope with a matching demarcation. Meant for his eyes only. Should the seal be broken en route to the recipient the offender could be sentenced to death for treason. 

And at this moment, Suguru finds that fate less painful than the spear currently piercing his lungs.

His eyes burn into the names written at the bottom of the page.

The Duke Ahriman  & The Duchess-to-Be.

Chapter II

E/N: Hello from [redacted]. I am literally losing my shite. I’m already in love with the plot before it has even fully materialized. And prince-of-the-sea-Suguru? This headcannon has me in a chokehold I fear. Thank you for reading 💋

[elizaleclerc]

Hi Max request here

He comes home to the reader flooding the apartment with bubbles from the washing machine and he looks at her like what the fuck.

Thanksss

this idea was so adorable i’m screaming!!! ty anon <3

bubbles ✦

max verstappen x reader

summary: max comes home to gf!reader and the mess she made

song: margaret by lana del rey

author’s note: really really short blurb to get me out a little slump and i simply loved this request so i had to!!

word count: 500

Panic set in as you frantically scrubbed at the frothy bubbles clinging to your arms and legs. A sea of creamy suds overflowed from the washing machine, spilling onto the floor and creating a slippery mess. The air was thick with the sweet, heady aroma of lavender, adding to the chaotic scene. You couldn't recall how it had happened, but now the laundry room resembled a sudsy sea of chaos, engulfing everything in its path.

In the midst of your frantic cleaning, the sound of keys jingling by the front door caused your heart to drop. Your hopes to finish cleaning everything in time were dashed as you heard Max's familiar voice calling out, "Where's my beautiful girl?" The clinking of his keys was like a siren warning of his impending arrival.

“The laundry room!” You replied, “Don’t come in though!”

You heard his laugh that you had come to adore, “Why not?” You struggled to give him a proper reasoning, and soon his persistence got the best of him. His figure appeared in the doorway, pausing at the sight before him. You stood still, scanning his expressions for anger. His eyes seemed emotionless, seeming to try and piece together the scene he had walked in on. You felt like you could start crying, as you thought you had ruined Max’s luxurious apartment with the mess of the suds around you.

But then, Max started laughing. You stared at him in awe as he laughed so hard you thought he was struggling to breathe. Your composure relaxed, and soon you found the humor in it all. How ridiculous you must look right now, covered in foamy soap in the laundry room, surrounded by the results of your mistake. You began giggling too, no longer wholly embarrassed with yourself.

You giggled as you flung a mass of bubbles at Max, watching as he tried to swat them away with a smile on his face. He sighed and his gaze traveled back to meet yours, his eyes full of adoration.

"Even covered in bubbles, you're beautiful." he said, placing his hands on his hips and making your face flush with color.

"I'm surprised you're still willing to put up with me," you sighed, taking in the messy scene around you.

"There's nothing I love more than 'putting up' with you, my dear," he replied, grinning at you and sending warmth flooding through your heart. No matter how chaotic or untidy things got, he never got mad or held it against you; his love was unconditional and unwavering. “Now, let’s actually get to cleaning this up.”

[azsazz]

Over Ice (Part 4)

Hockey!Rhysand x Reader

Summary: Anon Req: She’s walking around Campus and BOOM right smack dab into Broody McBrooder!! She THEN finds out he’s the tutor for one of her hardest courses (personally Psych would be a good one) and they become super duper close with him and the team!!!

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 3610

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Notes: Don't judge this part feels kinda meh.

Also in honor of being in Seattle tn and seeing the kraken play 😋

_________________________________________

Un-fucking-likely, indeed, your mind unhelpfully supplies on Monday night when Rhys barges into the study room looking like sex on legs.

His dark hair is damp from the shower he had to hastily take after practice. It’s disheveled as if he’s been running his fingers through it on his brisk walk from the arena to the library. There’s a soft pink to his tan cheeks that makes him look even more fuckable than usual, and you find yourself entranced as you trace the lines of his face.

The cut on Rhys’ lip has scabbed over nicely—you can’t help but notice—and the bruise setting in on his cheek is a mottled Picasso of green and yellow. The sight would make you grimace, but the wound only makes his violet eyes pop. The color draws you in, hypnotizes you as he stares back, until his bag slips off his shoulder and hits the ground with a loud thud that startles you both from your ogling.

You rip your gaze away from his, checking the time on your phone.

He's late. By twenty-two minutes.

“There’s no way.” You say when you manage to find your words. This cannot be happening. You don’t know if you’re struck more by the fact that he’s your tutor or because he looks utterly delectable in that tight black t-shirt that strains against every muscle packed onto his shoulders, arms, and chest. It’s almost as attractive as the gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips and the sliver of skin that calls to you like a siren. You carefully steer clear of that area and swallow harshly. “You’re my tutor?”

Rhysand’s eyes glitter when he tilts his chin to look at you. Normally, a man staring down at you like this doesn’t feel quite as heady as this, but the way that he’s looking at you makes your body tingle, and those tingles quickly converge between your thighs when he drags his fingers through his hair again and his shirt lifts, widening the peekaboo of skin you were eyeing only moments ago, revealing more of the cutting muscle of his hips.

You clutch your pen tightly in your fist because he looks like the king of Velaris University like this, all tall and handsome and knowing.

When he smirks, you consider shoving all your books and notes to the floor and spread yourself across the table, offering yourself up like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Rhysand collapses into the chair across from you. It evens the playing field but not by much. He still towers over you, even when he begins leaning so casually in the chair like it isn’t the most uncomfortable piece of plastic you’ve has the displeasure of sitting on. His lap looks like a much more comfortable place to sit, you think, and immediately reprimand yourself for the thought. You mentally scold yourself, removing your gaze from him completely as you try to focus on keeping your mind from wandering to no-no land.

He looks exhausted, like he’s run himself into the ground during practice. Rhys releases a hearty sigh, rubs his eyes, and winces when the bruises protest under the pressure of his fists.

“You know, I pride myself in my knowledge of psychology, but I can’t tell if your shock is from the fact that I’m a very attractive man or if it’s because you think I’m a jock and can’t hack being smart, too,” he says, as his gaze trails you slowly, stopping where the table hides your thighs that are clenched tightly together from his slow perusal.

He’s looking at you like he also wants you laid out before him, and when he meets your gaze again, those violet eyes are hot, playful. Paired with the wink, he seems very pleased with himself. “I can assure you, it’s both.”

Your cheeks flush. He is hot, even more so with those bruises painting his skin and the tight-fitting clothing that leaves little to the imagination. You ache to reach across the table and dust your fingers across his wounds, press an ice pack to them and nurse him back to health. All while straddling his lap.

Woah, girl. Keep it the fuck together. You’re not that desperate.

“Wow,” you scoff, and it gives you the chance to clear your tight throat when Rhys leans over to pluck a few books from his bag. They thunk against the table, filling the room with something other than your erratic heartbeat. He glances at you as he begins to flip through the pages. “For someone who’s twenty-two minutes late to their tutoring session, you sure are cocky.”

Rhysand winces, shooting you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

You’re stunned silent. There are no excuses. It’s a blunt, honest apology and a promise this isn’t going to be a reoccurring thing. He cares about his commitments as much as he cares about his sport, and it surprises you so much that you’re unsure of how to answer.

You don’t need to anyway, because Rhys continues swiftly, firing off questions in a way to catch up on what he’s missed. “What are you learning right now? What are you struggling with the most? We’ll start there and work our way back to the stuff you feel more confident in, so we don’t waste any more time.”

“We’re learning about behaviorism right now,” you note, looking down at the page your textbook is open to. You don’t catch the heated look Rhys pins you with, and there’s a fleeting thought that crosses his mind at your mention of behaviorism, an explicit one, because he can think of many hands-on approaches of how he’d like to teach you about conditioning and reinforcement, positive and negative reinforcement.

He hums noncommittally, flipping through his notes.

You tap the back of your pen against your textbook. “I have a quiz on Friday afternoon and a test two weeks after.” You sigh, returning to the same paragraph you’ve read three times tonight. You tried highlighting what was important according to the hand-out your professor gave you, but the entire paragraph is a block of yellow. “I can’t seem to keep it all straight.”

“Well, that’s because you highlighted the whole book,” Rhys’ eyes widen in disbelief as he cranes his head to look at your psychology textbook. “Seriously, did anyone teach you how to take notes?”

“I thought you were supposed to help me,” you huff, tossing your pen into the spine of your book and crossing your arms over your chest. You pin him with your most unimpressed look that transforms into a harsh glare when you see his gaze flick up from your chest.

Rhysand doesn’t have it in him to look ashamed. He’s fucking exhausted, and his two-a-days are catching up to him quickly. But he has his own psych paper to write by Wednesday night, right before they head out the following afternoon for a game against the Stags.

“Here,” Rhys says, and flips his book around so it’s facing you. He slides it across the table, shoving all your markers and poorly made flashcards with it. With a scowl, you lift the book and drape it over your own, drinking in the marks he’s made.

The lines are drawn neatly, not too many words highlighted, especially not paragraphs like you’d done in your own book. Your eye easily follows the words, picking up the important words covered by a bright blue.

“Holy shit,” you’d whistle if you could. “Color me impressed.”

Rhysand laughs, and your stomach flips. “See? Pretty and smart.”

The man wasn’t wrong.

You quirk a brow, resisting the urge to pull out your phone and snap a few photos of the excellently organized notes. And maybe a few of the boy who’d taken them himself. That preening smile gracing his lips and glittering eyes is something you want to commit to memory, but if you had the picture of it, late nights might not be so lonely.

“Oh, it’s pretty, now, is it? Describing yourself as hot was too…” You trail off, mulling your words in amusement. Rhysand’s smirk cracks wider, showing off his pearly white teeth, perfectly straight, and all the words you were trying to fumble for melt into a puddle of want.

“Spot on?” Rhys offers, waggling his brows. You carefully tuck your lip between your teeth, smothering a smile of your own. You shouldn’t be amused by him at all, especially since he all but demanded you weren’t to flirt with any of his players.

Rolling your eyes takes some force, but you manage. “Try pretentious.”

“Pretentious or not, it’s true.”

“Alright, Mr. Self-centered,” you roll your eyes.

Rhys cuts you off, “Actually, I’m just a regular center. And captain.”

 You blink at him, the joke almost falling as flat as your empty practice test taunting you on the table. Rhys cracks a wry grin when you shake your head. “Can we get to the important stuff now?”

“Right,” he nods firmly. “Behaviorism. Where should we start?”

You blush heavily. “The beginning, please.”

Rhys’ eyes widen and you groan in acknowledgement. You’re in desperate need of help. You weren’t kidding.

“No problem,” Rhys says, slipping his phone from his pocket. He types quickly, and you only wonder what he’s doing for a moment because he says aloud, “We’re going to need some coffees, it’s going to be a long night. What’s your order?”

Hours later, when you break for the night, you’re in much better spirits.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” Rhys curses frantically. His violet eyes don’t meet your confusion, instead he’s looking around as if the small bushes you’re walking beside are big enough to hide a 6’3” hockey player with both his bookbag and his gear bag.

“What? What’s wrong?” His suddenly frenzied energy is rubbing off on you. You search your surroundings, your heartbeat drumming in your chest. It is night out, but you’re not seeing anything except the occasional student making their way across campus or the headlights of a car passing by. You have no idea why Rhysand is freaking out.

He turns to you so abruptly you stop in your tracks.

“Hide me,” he pleads, and you pull a face of confusion.

“What?”

“Hide me, please.” You catch the way his eyes flicker toward the path back to your dorm and you can’t help but follow his line of sight, ignoring his hiss of disappointment when you do.

There’s a girl walking your way, but she’s entranced in her phone. Her dark hair is braided long over her shoulder. It stands stark against her snow-white skin that seems to reflect the moon beaming down onto campus tonight. Her full lips are painted stark red, and the color does nothing to improve her color.

As if she can feel your gaze on her, she looks up. And when she notices Rhys, he goes still beneath her stare.

“Rhys?” She asks in surprise. He doesn’t answer, but she confirms it herself, a huge smile forming on those lips. It looks scary, evil, almost.

“Fuck,” he mutters, and you don’t have the chance to question him before she’s striding towards the both of you like a viper personified. The look in her eyes is sultry, lethal, and the smirk on her red-painted lips has the hair at the nape of your neck standing on end.

“I thought that was you,” she purrs. You frown, and then it deepens when Rhys slides his arm across your shoulders, tugging you tightly into his side.

The girl’s gaze drags to you and the way that she’s looking you in up and down doesn’t make you want to cringe and fold yourself into Rhys’ arms like a shy girl. No, it makes your spine straighten, and you lean further into Rhys’ side, even going so far as to wrap your arm around his waist.

You think you hear him release a breath or relief.

“Amarantha,” Rhys greets, and there’s no warmth in his tone. There’s no anything in his tone, her name is spoken with the inflection of a brick.

You bite your cheeks to hide your smile.

“Where have you been?” Amarantha asks, stepping closer. Rhys’ body coils beneath your touch, and you can tell he’s fighting every urge not to step away from her, even though you think he maybe should. “I haven’t seen you around tri-delta much lately.”

Ah, a sorority girl, you think. That checks out.

Of course, a hockey player would have tried his chances with a sorority girl. You’re sure she’s not the only one either, and the thought of the amount of women Rhys has slept with has a knot forming in your stomach. He’s an athlete for fuck’s sake, and athlete’s always score.

“That’s because I’m off the market, Amarantha,” he says, and you think there’s more to that story that you want to know. If this whole tutoring thing works out, maybe you can hassle Rhys into telling you later. “This is my girlfriend, (Y/N).”

You almost don’t understand that he’s talking about you until he tucks you closer. You stumble and plant your hand against his chest for balance, glaring up at him. It’s exactly what Rhys wants.

Your mouth all but drops in shock. You open your mouth to protest, but Amarantha cuts off any complaints sitting on the tip of your tongue. “Your girlfriend?”

Her tone is pure acid. She almost spits the word, like you’re trash beneath her feet. Your mouth snaps shut with an audible click, and you tear your glare off your “boyfriend,” shooting her the most tooth-rotting, sweet smile you can conjure. “Hi. Amara, was it?”

Her teeth grind and the sharp look she offers would melt you into the pavement if you weren’t immune to bitchy girls who think they deserve what they don’t. Especially when that thing is the gorgeous hockey player at your side.

“Amarantha.”

“Right,” your giggle is fake. “Oops.”

Rhys’ body shakes with laughter and you can’t help but to preen a little. It feels good and his body is warm. The lightning zipping under your skin and the look on his ex-girlfriend’s face lights you up.

“Well, I was hoping maybe we could talk sometime, about what happened with us?” Amarantha finally says, turning her gaze to Rhys. Her face transforms from hatred to innocent in the time it takes you to blink, like Rhys might just feel bad enough for her to give her what she wants.

Rhys hums thoughtfully, like he might actually agree to finding the time to meet and speak with her. Amarantha’s eyes sparkle. She must be thinking the same thing you’re thinking. You don’t like the thought of them alone together, of all the things they already have done together, but Rhys isn’t you boyfriend. No, he’s hardly your friend at all. Actually, he’s your best friend’s cousin, and your mind should not be wandering towards Rhys’ actions in the bedroom, let alone be acting like this with him.

“I’ll think about it, Amarantha,” he finally decides, and you don’t think you like that answer at all, but you shove your thoughts deep, deeply inside of you.

Amarantha steps closer, bats her eyelashes up at him. “I could send you some things for you to think about,” she says sultrily. You scrunch your nose up in distaste. Forward, much?

Rhys gives her that some noncommittal hum he gave you earlier in the night. “We’ve got to get going now,” he answers, tugging you around his clingy ex. “Lots of studying to do.” He lets the innuendo hang in the air. “See you around.”

He doesn’t wait for her to respond, dragging you in the direction of your dorm.

You think you wait an appropriate amount of time before you’re shoving his arm off your shoulder. “What the hell was that?”

Rhys groans and runs his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t know what that was, not really. All he knows is that he’d do whatever it takes to get Amarantha off his case and scrubbed from his memory, and he used you to do it tonight.

He feels like shit for doing that to you, especially when he barely even knows you.

Mor would have a fucking aneurism if she’d seen that.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, staring down at the sidewalk. “I panicked.”

“I’ll fucking say,” you scoff, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. It’s a balmy night out, but without the heat of Rhys’ body beside yours, a chill sweeps over you.

“That won’t be the last of her,” he sighs long and forlorn. It almost makes you feel bad for him, if the next words out of his mouth didn’t make your entire world flip. “I might need you to pretend to be my girlfriend again.”

You’re pretty sure your jaw hits the ground so hard it cracks the concrete beneath your feet. You halt so abruptly, Rhys doesn’t notice for a few steps, too lost in the idea he just blurted out and how perfect it might be. He could rid himself of Amarantha for good.

“What? No way!” You protest, and you’d really like to stomp your foot like a petulant child, but it seems your soles have melted into the sidewalk.

Rhys frowns, and you find you don’t like that look on his face. “Why not?”

What does he mean why not? There are a trillion reasons why this is a bad idea, but you blurt the one that bubbles to the surface first. “I can’t have your team, what makes you think you can have me?”

Rhys’ entire demeanor changes. He straightens his shoulders and stands taller, every muscle going taut with your words.

He raises a single brow. “How many of my teammates do you have your eye on?” He asks, prickling with jealousy. He shouldn’t be, except for the fact that he quite literally ran into you first, and if he can’t have you, then neither can his teammates.

Your cheeks flare with embarrassment. “I—what?” You stutter.

“How many of my teammates do you have your eye on? Or do you need me to rephrase.” Long gone is the cheeky tutor from the library. Now, he’s transformed into some sort of angered jock, like you just told him he’d be on the bench for the rest of the hockey season.

And it hits you, his words. Why would he care if you had your eye on one player or more? He doesn’t own you; he doesn’t even know you, and he’s making assumptions that frankly, are far from fucking true.

“I don’t have my eye on any of them, asshole,” you spit back your lie because it tastes like shit on your tongue. You have your eye on one. Or should you say had your eye on one. Knowing what you know now, you would happily go back in time and run into someone else.

It would never end well, you and him. And it’s the ultimate best friend betrayal.

You glare at Rhys, and he glares at you. You’re sure he’s used to people taking orders from him, but you’re not one of his teammates, and you’re too stubborn to back down.

When it’s clear that you’re not going to entertain his lewd questioning, he rips his gaze away. “C’mon. I have shit to do tonight and it’s getting late.”

“I can walk myself,” you grumble, shoving past him.

You hear his strides before he appears in the corner of your vision, catching up easily with you. Neither of you speak as you continue the last few blocks to your dorm. When you see the tall, looming building, you almost sigh in relief.

Until, of course, Rhys opens his mouth and spouts of another one of his stupid ideas.

“What if,” he starts, and you’re already rolling your eyes. “I help you with psychology, and you pretend to be my girlfriend, so Amarantha gets off my back.”

“Um, no.” You protest, because what the actual fuck is happening right now? “That’s what you agreed to before we ran into Amarantha.”

He shrugs, and it takes all your remaining willpower not to sprint the last block to your dorm. “My terms have changed.”

You scoff in utter disbelief. The nerve of this man. “Fine.” You haul ass to your dorm, more than done with tonight.

“Fine?” Rhys echoes. He sounds shocked. Which he should, because you know he’s taken your reply the wrong way. “You’ll do it?”

“No,” you spin on your heel and almost run face-first into Rhys’ chest. He catches you around your waist, steadying you. You didn’t hear him trailing you, and you don’t know how someone so large can move so silently. You clear your throat, ripping your focus from the tingles on your arms that seem to be coming from his touch, trying to reignite the flare of annoyance that he just smothered. “Not fine as in ‘I’ll do it.’ ‘Fine,’ as in, ‘I’ll find another tutor.’”

“What do you want? Please,” he begs, and he sounds good doing it. His violet eyes are soft, pleading, strands of his black hair falling across his brow. You want to reach up and brush them back for him.

“I want you to teach me how to pass psych,” you answer simply. “Without an ultimatum.”

Rhys’ shoulders fall, but one of you must relent, and it’s not going to be you. Over your dead body. “Fine.”

“Fine as in yes, or?”

He shoots you an unimpressed look. Too soon. You wince and smile apologetically.

“Fine, I’ll help you.”

_________________________________________

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[onmyyan]

Cold cases warm faces pt.2

A/n: part two for the lovely anon who requested it, thank you for your sweet words I'm so happy you're enjoying my work!! 🥰 Headcannons and a drabble at the end part one here

Shortly after you're brought to your new "home" a fight breaks out over who gets to feed you.

You sat silent and amused by the situation, after all it wasn't every day you got kidnapped by a group of vigilantes

At first you thought this was a betrayal, thought you'd end up in a box or something worse, but then the argument breaks out and you can't help but grin at the lovestruck idiots before you.

Leaned back, legs spread an aura of confidence pours out from your bound form.

Dick was the first to approach you, crouched down to be eye level with you, Dick smiles at you like you held the sun in your hands.

"I'm sorry about all this- I know you have questions but there's pressing matters to attend to," he rolls up the sleeve of his costume revealing a toned forearm, you could hear his blood flowing, calling your name like a siren song.

Before he could come any closer he was yanked backwards by Jason, the behemoth of a man glared down at his older brother an air of danger around him.

"the fuck you think you're doing Dickie? If anyone's feeding her it's me."

"and why is that exactly?" Tim speaks up, his question on everyone's mind

"Because I'm healthy -"

This argument included everyone but Damien, who amidst the commotion, slits his arm open with his sword, proudly displaying his wrist with gleaming eyes, "Take it." He says quietly, as if the words were only for you to hear.

Without hesitation your lips are wrapped around his wrist, fangs sinking in with not even a flinch from the man before you

After this a schedule is worked out.

You could escape if you wanted to, but you were having too much fun with them all.

Five men fighting tooth and claw for the slightest bit of affection from you

You're dressed in the finest luxuries money can afford Bruce wouldn't admit it but he loves dressing you up , lathering you in gifts

Dick is utterly enamored by you, he love listening to you talk about your past, as long as you don't bring up past lovers of course .

Jason is your lapdog he rarely leaves his side, absolutely needs to have his head in your lap while you speak of anything and everything

Tim studies everything there is to know about your kind because he completely intends to join you in eternity

Although he's not the first to approach you about this subject, that title goes to Jason, one afternoon during one of your many talks, he breached the subject of your maker, someone you hadn't thought about in years.

“It’s difficult to explain to humans. Hell I wouldn’t have understood it 100 years ago,” you paused to lick your lips, scouring your mind for the right words to describe the answer to their question. “A sire bond is kind of unavoidable tethering between a maker and their well, sire.” Jason’s eyes didn’t dare look away from your form, eagerly drinking your word. “If she told me to jump I’d have to ask how high.” Your hands rubbed together, an anxious habit from your human life that hadn’t shown itself in centuries. The mere thought of your maker left you with a complex cocktail of emotions, clearly visible on your face, an ugly feeling settled at the pit of Jason’s stomach, he’d never seen such a look on your face, and for it to come from some woman he didn't know- he forced himself from his darkening thoughts at your sudden movement.

You were now pacing the room, gracefully maneuvering around the space. “For the first few years it’s all but impossible to be without them, it’s like this incessant burn that can’t be soothed without them.” He nodded, all too familiar with the feeling.

"supposedly your closest bond is that of a maker and their sire

"Turn me" your shock couldn't be hidden but he didn't let you sit in it for long.

"I'm dead serious. You're the air in my lungs and the idea of you spending eternity alone don't sit right with me, I've already died once, whats one more time?"

"Jason-"

"I love you- every fiber in my being was pulled into existance to love you. Please let me."