#i try not to be salty too much because i've got too much to be happy about lol but SOMETIMES IT CAN'T BE HELPED | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ziminy · 5 months ago

Text

Deep in the water

Where mermaid gojo falls for a human

Tags: smut, mdni, dark themed (kinda) , f!reader, merman!Gojo, handjob, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, creampie, nipple sucking, lots of kisses, inexperienced Gojo (he learns real fast), obsession (a bit too much if you ask me), size difference, marking, biting,

Author's note: I've been thinking about merman Gojo for months, I swear he fits the description perfectly.

Masterlist kinktober masterlist

After months of saving money, you finally got on a ship, ready to see the other side of the world. You couldn't help but feel excited.

The sea breeze, the big shiny sun on the sky, the port full of people. Everything looked so lively, it made you smile.

Your day so far was going smoothly, and you had a feeling that so will be this trip.

Sure, it was all good at the start. Leaving the port, the people cheering in the background as you were getting further and further from the land.

Everyone on the ship was so nice, you even managed to make a few a acquaintances.

You also saw some dolphins, and something that seemed like a really big fish, but you can't really say what kind since it was in the water and you couldn't really see it.

So, the first day was like a dream. But it was the next one that made you feel uneasy.

Since you woke up you felt a pair of eyes on you. You tried to play it off at first, there were a lot of people in there, so it wasn't surprising you felt that way. But it made you feel a little bit paranoid and you couldn't enjoy your time just the way you did yesterday.

And it didn't helped the fact that it started raining.

It was just a few drops at first, not a big deal, it would go away. Or so you thought. Because the weather got worse and soon the rain became a storm.

It didn't helped the fact that it was night, and people were panicking left and right.

Why did you decided to leave the land? How could you be so stupid. Gosh, what will you even do now.

"We're sinking!" someone yelled, making people scream.

Sinking? How? Wasn't a boat made to stay on water? Was it not waterproof? Or were you hit? But by what?

"We're going to die!" someone else screamed. Making people panicking even more.

Children crying left and right, people pushing one another to get to some smaller boats, hoping to get away.

"Women and children first!" someone said, trying to control the crowd somehow.

It was in order at first, people getting on boats in a calm manner.

"We're running out of boats." someone yelled, making the crowd go crazy. Everybody pushing each other left and right.

When did all of this started? You can't help but feel disappointed with yourself. Did you really had to get on a boat? Why did you wanted to see what's on the other side of the sea so bad?

Without even realizing, you were knocked down by rushing people. The last thing you remember was the comfortable silence of the night, after the storm stopped. The sea sounding just like the previous day now, calm, and looking like the event from earlier didn't even happened.

You sighed, finally founding peace, knowing that at least you're going to die stress free.

You close your eyes, inhaling, take a deep breath of the salty scent. You open your eyes to look at the stars for one more time, and when you were about to close them again, a figure appeared before you. A half naked man, white hair and a big grin on his face.

You sighed again, annoyed that you can't even pass away in peace. All you did was to shake your head before you lost your consciousness.

That stranger didn't let you go just yet, his wet cold hands on you, dragging you to him. His face getting closer to yours, he looked at you for a moment before his lips were wrapped around yours, kissing you in hope that it would do something.

You see, he was passing by the port when he saw this ship leaving, going in the same direction he came from.

He was curious, that was the first time this close to the land after all. He had questions and he wanted to know the answers. So, he followed it quietly.

He saw lots of interesting things, the way human socialize, how some tend to hang with people that looks similar to them. Or their relationships with others. Smaller humans tend to stay close to very few people, always sticking to the side of the same person.

He found it interesting.

And when the night came he was even more excited of how things were.

Singing, dancing, everybody laughing and looking like they're having fun. He wants to experience that too.

Imagine his surprise seeing everything changing in a blink of an eyes. The laughter being changed to screams full of fear as everybody were trying to get away as far as possible from the big boat. Some even threw doors or whatever wood platforms they could find.

Not everybody could escape, some throwing themselves in the water, drowning, choosing to freeze to death or sink to the bottom of the ocean that accept their fate.

But when the waters calmed, there was a human who was a lot calmer than the rest who sat on a wooden plank.

So, he decided to approach it. Cautiously swimming towards it, trying his best to not make a sound.

He sat next to it in the the water, looking at it. You didn't said a thing to him, you looked as calm as a few moments ago.

You were different, he had this feeling inside of him that told him that. So, he decided to make his presence felt. He got on the wood surface, looking down at you who was laying down and looking at the sky.

You still didn't said a thing, in fact, you looked annoyed.

Did he came at a bad time? But he really wanted to get to know you.

His heart sink when he saw you closing your eyes, somehow losing the warmth your body had a few moments ago.

But he liked your body. You had this thing that he didn't had, you were hot unlike his cold body. He wanted to know how it was to be this warm.

He had no other choice but to save you, so, he kissed you. Later on dragging you deep in the water, to a place where the normal human being couldn't reach. A cave somewhere far away from the surface, a place where it was dry and full of air for you to breathe.

He had no idea he'll have to do this, so, you'll have no other choice but to lay on the cold stone for the moment. That until he makes this place more comfortable for you.

While you were sleeping, he got everything he could think of, some algae for you to sleep on, some fish for you to eat, and some pretty shiny rocks as a gift. The fish likes it, so you might like it too.

But when you woke up, instead of the calm person he saw before, you were panicked too. Looking at him terrified and trying to get away.

"Wh- where am I?" you said, almost forgetting how to speak.

"I bought you from the ship." he said, half of his body in water, hiding his tail.

"What happened to it?" you said, trying to regain your memories.

"It sinked." he said shortly, but that was more than enough to finally remember what happened. You were calm again, but it didn't lasted for long.

"Where are we?"

"In a cave." obviously, you're not blind. You sighed, trying to think rationally.

"But where exactly?"

"Underwater, not far from the ship." so still in the middle of the ocean. Couldn't he said that from the start.

"How is the weather outside?" that question made him gulp, unsure of how to reply yo you. "Did the storm stopped?"

"No." he lied, trying to keep you in there for a little bit longer.

"I see." you looked at your surroundings and then at him. He was pretty for a guy, like, he was beautiful rather than handsome. That if you only look at his face, because if you lower your gaze to his body, he was very muscular. Broad shoulders, a defined chest, and look at his arms. "Aren't you cold?" you said, finally realizing that he's half naked, and that your clothes are wet.

"Not really?" he never felt cold before, so he haves no idea how that is.

"I had a luggage with me, around this big, it was a dark brown. Did you see it by any chance?" you asked, wanting to change into something that's not wet, but if your thinking about it, there's no way that bag didn't got in the water.

"I'll look for it." he said and got under water, swimming away from there.

There was a big hole the ground , and it had water coming from it. How did it not flood the place, you had no idea, but at least you're safe.

You looked at the place you woke up from, a pile of big green slimy vines, no wander you were feeling weird when you woke up. And next to you was some raw fish. It was too late to throw it in the water and save it, so you have no idea what to do with it.

A lot of time passed by, and that guy didn't came back. Guess you're left all alone there to starve to death.

But when you lost all your hope, he appeared out of nowhere. "I found these." he said and dropped some suitcases on the ground. "There's more." he said and disappeared again.

None of those bags were yours, but there was no harm in looking in them since no one is around. So, you opened one by one and inspect everything that was inside.

So much gold and jewelry, you would make so much money if you sold that. Maybe this trip wasn't that disappointing after all.

"I'm back." he said and left more luggage on the ground.

"None of these are mine." you said after looking at new bags that he brought.

"I'll go look for it again." he said and disappeared again.

It wasn't his fault if he didn't found it. The fact that he got all of these was impressive. So you didn't blamed him for anything since it wasn't his fault to behind with.

But he came back, this time with three more luggages and one of those were yours. And unlike the others, those look completely dried, like they weren't even in water.

You opened all three of them, looking at what the other two contain and trying to decide what you'll keep and what you'll throw away.

"Did I found the right one?" he said, resting his elbows on the rock surface, only having his upper body out the water.

"Mm." you hummed, taking a pearl necklace out of a luggage, you looked in awe at it. Should you sell it or should you keep it? It looks pretty but the money you can make off it.

"You like it?" he asked, being more interested in you than the necklace.

"It looks pretty." that's all he needed to hear before he disappeared again. Coming back much later with a handful of pearls. "Where did you found these?" you said, not believe your eyes.

"I had them." he was so happy with the fact that you liked his gifts.

"You must really like pearls." you said, looking at them and then handing it back to him.

"Not at all." he said, giving them back to you.

"But you have so many." you said, pushing them towards him.

"I find them all the time." this back and forth game was getting on your nerves.

"They're yours, so why are you giving them to me?" he could make some good money with them.

"Because you like them." you blinked a few times. Is he stupid or what? "Take them. Do whatever you want with them." sell them and make a profit. However, you felt too guilty to do that since it was a gift.

"Do you have a box to put them into?" with a big smile on his face, he gets underwater once again, coming back later with a jar.

That could work too, you thought as you put the pearls in it.

The silence was broke by your grumbling stomach, letting everyone know you were hungry. You bite your lip, embarrassed of the situation.

"Is there anything to eat?" he pointed at the fish laying on the ground. "It's raw." he looked confused at you. "You can't eat raw fish." well, he definitely can, but if you can't no worries. He'll get it done for you.

So, he ran to the only person he knew that had a fire. An octopus that a lot of people tend to avoid because of his shady nature.

"Suguru." the white haired merman said when he got into the other fish lair. "Cook this for me." he said, handing the fish to the octopus.

"Why?" the black haired merman said, looking uninterested in what the other man was planning to do.

"You're the only one with a fire underwater." and he haves it for a reason.

"What kind of games are you playing now?" the octopus sighed. "You know what, I don't even want to know. Just give me the fish." he said, grabbing the fish and looking around for something.

"I have a guest." the white haired merman said, following the other, happy to talk about his life.

"And they asked such an odd request?" the white haired merman hummed in response. "What a weirdo."

"She's a human." she? A human? The octopus already seemed annoyed.

"Then she probably haves food on her ship."

"She's underwater."

"A human that can breath underwater? Never seen that before. She probably made a contract with somebody." the octopus was looking for something to talk shit about, not wanting to have anything to do with someone that's not from the ocean.

"She's in that cave, the one that's dry on the inside." he remembers that one. The octopus managed to obtain it by making a contract with a big fish. "Her ship was destroyed by a storm." not his problem.

"Don't you know how humans are? She'll hunt you down the moment she gets the chance." well, the merman doesn't agree with the octopus.

"She's not like the others I've seen before." the black haired man raised an eyebrow, not believing a word that dumbass was saying. "She's calm, she doesn't seem to be afraid of me."

"Anybody can put an act on."

"Her body is warm." it was like he wasn't even listening. "And she smells nice."

"It might be poisonous." the octopus shrugged.

"Just cook that so I can go back. She's waiting for me." the merman didn't looked like he cared what the other man was saying.

"Whatever." the dark haired merman said, rolling his eyes and getting ready to cook the fish. "Here." he said after some time, making Gojo to run from there the moment he got the chance.

"I'm back." the white haired man said when he got back at the cave. "I got food." you walked towards him, lowering yourself to pick the food from his hands.

Your eyes couldn't help but move on the water, it looked like a deep hole, how does he manage to swim in there? "Thank you." you said after a while, trying to brush off that unsettling feeling.

You sat down somewhere further away from the water, too afraid of falling in there.

You ate quietly, taking small bites of the unseasoned food. It was tasteless, who ever cooked that had no skills. But it was better than nothing, surviving was your main goal after all.

Your gaze kept moving from your food to the entrance of the cave, still having questions about how you got there, but not daring to say a word.

"How's the food?" the merman asked, all a smile as he looked at the way you chewed your food.

"It's alright." you can't really complain when you knew your circumstances.

It went quiet after that, no one dared to say a word. You couldn't speak with your mouth full and he didn't said a thing because he enjoyed watching you.

"I never asked for your name." you said after a while, wanting to thank this stranger for helping you.

"Gojo Satoru." he said, his voice making something tingle in your head. Every time he opened his mouth you felt like that.

"I'm Y/N." he kept repeating your name in his head over and over again, too mesmerized by it. "Thank you for saving me. I have no idea what I would have done without you." you should be more careful with your words, really, because his eyes started twitching, his pupils becoming bigger, like a predator who was about to jump on his prey. You made his mouth dry, and he didn't know what to do. There was this urge inside of him to bite you, pin you down and show you his way of doing things. But if you wanted to show him how humans does it, he won't say no.

Before you say anything more unimportant, he wants you to see the real him. Would you still be greatful if you knew what he was?

"Have you ever heard of underwater people?" he asked, his questions completely out of subject.

"Like mermaids?" he nodded. "I've heard stories about them."

"Have you seen one in real life?" you shook your head. "What do you think they look like?"

"I heard they're really beautiful." was he beautiful then? "And they have a really good voice." he doesn't know what to say about that, he knows too many annoying mermaids to say that he agrees with you. "I heard that you can die if you hear them sing."

"They're voice can hypnotize people, it doesn't kill." he corrected you.

"Well, I'm not really an expert. So I don't know." guess you're right, he shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.

"How do you feel about them? Do you want to meet one?" what's with all these weird questions? Was he planning on scamming you? You can't help but feel suspicious.

"I mean, if I get the chance. I doubt I'll ever meet one tho." he can't help but laugh at your words. If you only knew.

"Are you scared of them?"

"A creature so beautiful that can hypnotize you? Who wouldn't?" he bite his lip, already knowing that he screw up. "But that's their beauty." he looked at you, hoping that you'll say more. "It's normal to feel scared of what you don't know." his eyes were full of fireworks. So, in conclusion, if he does reveal himself to you, you'd be afraid but it was normal.

It's normal to be afraid of the unknown, he kept repeating those words in his head.

He placed his palms on the ground, helping himself to get his body out of water. Now sitting at the edge of the cave entrance, his white tail on display for you to see.

You looked terrified at first, then shocked, and then you looked confused. Your eyes kept moving from his face to his body, his tail, and any other details that he haves that would give him away that he's not human.

"What are you?" your expression didn't showed any signs of happiness, and your voice full of anxiety, concerned for what happened to him.

In response, he moved his tail up and down, making your eyes move with it.

"Are you sacred of me?" he said while moving half of his tail back in the water, hiding it from your eyes.

"Why did you bring me here?" you ignored his question, trying to find an answer for your situation first. You have to know his motives before you can respond to him.

"You were dying."

"Would you still have helped if it was someone else in my situation?" he nodded, making you sigh. "Then I trust you. As long as you don't plan on harming me I don't see a reason to be scared of you." his heart was beating so fast, he was so scared for a moment.

"I can become a human if you want!" he said, wanting nothing more than you to feel at ease.

"You can do that?" what if you met a mermaid before and you had no idea?

"Yes, I can!" he sounded so enthusiastic to show you that he can look just like you. "Wait here." he jumped in the water, going to the only person who could make his wishes come true. "Suguru, Suguru."

"Why are you here again?" the octopus sounded annoyed.

"Make me a human." the black haired man looked like he saw a ghost.

"What? A what?"

"I want legs."

"For what?"

"I promised her that I can transform into a human." what a foolish man. "Give me legs for a day."

"It would cost you."

"You're really going to ask me to pay you? Me? Your friend?" the octopus rolled his eyes.

"You'll have to get something from her, and it haves to be personal."

"Like what?"

"Figure it out." guess the merman haves no choice but to ask you for something. Maybe he can ask for a pearl since you liked them so much?

"I'm back." he said, hopping out the water. You nodded, looking at him and then at his tail. You can't get used to this.

He got a contract in his hands, looking at it for a moment and then at you. "What's that?" you asked, looking at the golden paper.

"I'll become a human with this." he said and sign it, his body started glowing and soon all the features that made him look different from you disappeared. He even had legs legs now.

You looked at him in shock, it was that easy to become human?

You kept studying him. How can he look like this? How did everything disappeared so easily, so fast?

He tried to get up on his feet, but almost lost his balance, that made you to jump up and catch him, a hand wrapped around his arm to keep him in place. "I never had legs before." no wander he was so wobbly.

His tail made him look big, but now that he's standing next to you he's even taller than you thought he'd be.

You looked up at his face, then lower and lower, trying to see what else changed on his body. And oh god, what did you just see. You had no idea mermaids had dicks, and he was bigger than anything you saw before.

You didn't mean to stare, truly, you also didn't mean to have your mouth open, your jaw almost touching the floor. Damn, this took you by surprise.

"Do you have any clothes?" he shook his head. He had no idea what even was that.

Guess you'll have to try and ignore it. And man, it was hard. It made you feel guilty, he probably had no idea what public decency even means. Try to think of something else, shift the conversation to something that doesn't have to do with his body.

"Can you breathe underwater?" you don't even know why you asked that, it was pretty obviously. But you can't think of anything better.

"Yes." he said, walking closer to the water. "You can do it too." so there was a secret breathing technique for breathing underwater? When your going home you can sell this and make big money.

"How?" you sounded so enthusiastic, he can't help but laugh.

"I'll show you." he got his face closer to yours, closing his eyes and leaning in. It made you jolt from there, letting go of his hand and jump a few steps back. He looked surprised at you.

"What are you doing?" you asked, your heart beating way too fast. Both of you looked so surprised at each other's actions.

"Don't you want to breathe underwater?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean we have to kiss."

"How else will you do it if not this way?" he didn't understand your reaction. "We already did it when I found you on the surface. That's why you can understand what I'm saying." he said, all nonchalant like it was a normal thing.

"Huh?"

"If you kiss me again you'll be able to breathe underwater, maybe even swim faster too." should you believe his words? I mean, he didn't looked like he was lying. Perhaps the fact that he wasn't human made you doubt his words, but you would have been skeptical either way, so.

Should you trust him? He helped you all day without asking for anything in return, he looked so happy to fulfill any of your requests. And this made you feel guilty, the fact that he did nothing but good and you're still doubting him.

"Alright." you nodded, getting on your tip toes, your lips touching his for a moment before you take a step back. "Can I test it out now?" you took him by surprise, and he couldn't understand this feeling inside of him that made his body stop.

You looked at him, and that made the fire inside of him grow even bigger. Your big eyes, and soft lips, how you're so much smaller than him. He was feeling like when he's hunting for food, he knew that he could fool you just the way he wanted. And perhaps, it was in his nature to play with the food before devouring it.

"You'll have to wait until I get my tail back." can't he popped it out whenever he wants it? "Tomorrow I'll take you out."

"Then, where will you stay tonight?" if he can bearly stay on his feet, can he even swim?

"Here." it was so pathetic the way you believed him so easily. How you thought nothing about it when he said that he'll sleep next to you. You said nothing even when he wrapped his hands around you, trapping you in place with no way of getting away from him.

It was a few hours after the sun went down when you woke up. You sat up, looking around and trying to remember where you were. Ah, how could you forget that you were stuck in the middle of the ocean.

"What are you doing?" he opened his eyes, looking at you, his voice a little deeper than usually.

"Nothing." you said shifting a little around and trying to get in a better position to sleep.

"Mm." he groaned at the way you kept moving around, the way your body was right into his, the friction was a little too good.

You looked down at him, your eyes moving lower on their own, trailing down his glowing skin until you got see his hard happy little friend.

You didn't mean to gasp, truly, but you couldn't help it when his cock was hard against your leg, pulsating and moving it from time to time.

"What?" he was confused.

"Nothing." try to not pay attention. If he says nothing then so should you.

"What is it?" he wouldn't let it go. He wanted to know what made you react that way.

"No, no, it's nothing. I'll go back to sleep." you layed down, your head on his arm as your back faced him.

He dragged his body closer to yours, his hard cock right into you, making you jolt at the sensation.

"You wouldn't react like that for nothing." he looked at the back of your head, trying to understand what was going on in there.

You turn your head for a moment, looking at him with big pleading eyes before you could feel his dick twitch.

Was he not feeling that? Can he ignore it just like that? Was it because he's a merman? You had so many questions.

He wrapped his free hand around you, moving closer to you, a little sigh escaping from his mouth when he pressed his body against yours. He couldn't help when you felt this hot.

You bite your lip, trying not to look like a pervert. He was playing with your morality and it made you feel so guilty.

If he had nothing to complain about, why do you keep thinking about it.

Humans, huh? Always so dirty minded. Or perhaps the fact that mermaids reproduce different was the problem. And now you can't help but wander how it's for his kind.

Do they transform into their human form to make it happen? Or do they do it the fish way? Can he get pregnant? Can you get him pregnant? Oh god, how do you make that happen?

"You're so warm." he said in your ear, feeling the way your body heats up. His hand traveling on what little skin you have exposed, wanting to feel you better. But there was a place where it was warm even with your clothes on. "Especially here." his hand went in between your legs, trying to feel that hotness your body radiates.

Maybe both of your species were getting intimate the same way? No wander there were so many stories about men jumping off their ships to be with a mermaid. Now it wasn't surprising that you were feeling all horny for him, it was normal. His kind was known for being promiscuous.

You sat up, looking down at him who didn't dared to move an inch, his hand still in between your thighs.

"You win." why trying to fight the urges? He'll make you feel more miserable in the end.

"Hm?" have he done something to make you feel like this was a competition? He doesn't really get your words.

Perhaps he understood it after you moved his hands away, pushing him on his back and getting in between his legs. It didn't took a genius to understand what's going on.

He didn't tried to stop you. If that's what you wanted to do, then go ahead. He enjoyed how you felt on him.

Your hand wrapped around his dick, moving it up and down slowly. He couldn't help but let his head back, falling it on the ground because of this new feeling. Was this why you were so embarrassed before? Because you knew about the pleasure he could get from you?

Pretty moans filling the cave, his voice was hypnotizing, making you want to hear more. No wander you felt seduced from the first time you saw him.

Your hand movement went faster, making one of his hands go to your shoulder, nails sinking into your skin. You'll make a mess out of him before he'll do that to you.

You can torment him even more, and so you did, getting just the tip in your mouth, his cock being welcomed with your hot wet tongue. The moan he let out, lounder than any other.

He's going crazy, the way you suck him in, your mouth hotter than anything he felt before. He couldn't help but thrust his pelvis forward, meeting your mouth halfway through. His hands went to your head, grabbing a handful of your hair and shoving you downwards.

He could feel something deep inside of him, it made him desperate for it. If this is the end of him, he won't regret shit. In fact, he can't help but want to release that faster, even if sucks the soul out of him.

With a few more thrusts, he pushed his cock all the way inside your mouth, cumming down your throat.

He let go of your hair, falling on his back trying to catch his breath. He had no idea what was that but damn, he could do it again.

When he thought it was over, he moved his gaze on you who were taking off your clothes. His eyes fixed on you as you got yourself exposed for him.

You got on top of him, lowering yourself while holding his cock with one of your hands. So there is more to come. He wants to help you, is there anything he can do?

He looked at you, at the way you had your brows furrowed and eyes fixed on his lower half. You tried to get him inside of you, but it didn't seemed to fit. He could feel something even hotter from between your legs, touching the tip of his cock but no matter how hard you try to push him in, it didn't seemed to cooperate.

Do you plan on giving up? Was this the end of it? Skipping on what could be the hottest sex in your life with a merman because he was too big to fit inside? You bite your lip in frustration trying to think of something.

"Give me your hand." you said, sitting in front of him as you took one of his hands in yours

He gave you his hand so happily, trying to anticipate your next move.

What he didn't expect was your warm pussy, the source of that hot feeling from between your legs.

With his hand in yours, you moved it between your folds, spreading your wet juices around. So you could feel even better than your mouth? He doesn't think he can let go of you now.

Moving his hand away for a moment, you shoved two fingers inside of you, moving it in and out of you, making some quiet sounds that reached his ears right away. He wants to do that too, it looks too fun to let him out of it.

Getting your hand to the side, he placed his own back on your pussy, trying to get two of his fingers inside your wet hole.

It sucked him in so easily, and oh, it feels better than he anticipated. His eyes never leaving your pussy as he kept moving his hand. Faster and faster, he didn't spared you a single moment, too lost in how you felt around him.

"Not so hard." you sighed, a hand over his as you tried to guide him. You had this expression on your face that he couldn't understand it. You didn't looked in pain, you didn't looked happy or sad either. So what was it?

"How do you feel?" he wanted to understand you, your emotions and expressions. Everything that could be described as you, or yours.

"It's good." but it didn't looked that way. "Kiss me." but you could breathe underwater now?

A hand went behind his head, dragging him closer to you, smashing your lips against his. And the other went between your legs, on your clit, circling it.

He moved your hand away, pressing his palm against your clit and trying to follow your actions. Maybe he'll understand you better if he does the same things as you.

Oh boy, the way you were squeezing his fingers got him losing his mind.

He really can't get enough of you, and it wasn't surprising by how he was overstimulating you, keeping his hand moving even after you came. He was focusing on your moans, on how your body reacts and how he wants to sink into you even deeper.

"Satoru." you moaned his name so deliciously, now he gets why you wanted to kiss him. It was a way to devour each other, being able to keep going and feel the others presence for much more longer.

You placed your hand on his, moving it away from you as you pushed him back. Holding into his shoulders, you got back into his lap, finally being able to fit him in.

This got him holding his breath. Wrapping his arms around you, dragging you in his arms, having your chest pressed against his and waiting for you to sink your hips into his, to get more of him inside.

Just as much as it got his mind blank, it also woke up the predatory side of his, wanting to bite you, eat you alive and leave nothing out of you. He wanted nothing more but to have you as part of him, playing with you even after you become lifeless.

His head got closer to your shoulder, opening his mouth and biting into it, softly, just to see how you'll react. He doesn't dare to give into his instincts just yet, or at least not a lot.

He doesn't want to hold himself back, and he wants you to do the same. If you plan on hunting him down, do it. He can't wait to see who's the more powerful one between you two.

You moved yourself up and down, slowly, raising your hips and letting them down. You kept doing the same thing over and over again, your arms wrapped around him, to hold him close, just the way he was holding you.

He kept biting you, sucking on your skin and going with his hands lower on your body until he moved them on your ass.

He wanted to do something too, help you move with ease and show him more of this foreign feeling. And so he did, grabbing your butt and moving you up and down.

Your moans so sweet. He looked up at you between his eyes lashes like you were his last meal.

"Satoru, Satoru." you kept saying his name, it only made him bite you harder than before, making you moan even harder.

You were squeezing him again. Are you doing it intentionally? Because fuck, keep going.

Resting your head against his, you wrapped your hands around his neck, cumming on him and making him moan before he followed your lead, filling you up to the brim with his cum.

"You can stop your magic now." he was still inside of you, enjoying the warmth of your body. He was too much for you, you were still horny and you fear this might be taking the whole night.

"Hm?" he had no idea what you were talking about.

"You're so pretty." you looked right into his eyes, kissing his forehead and then his lips. "I don't know how much longer I can last, so stop playing with me." he moved his hands on your body before kissing your neck. You had a sweet scent and he's afraid you might attract others. All merfolks looked good, so he's afraid you might find someone else attractive and leave him.

"I'm not doing anything." he said, looking up at you, blue eyes just like the ocean following you. You moved your hips again, slow, taking a break every time you raised your hips.

"Lies." he shook his head. "I wanted to feel you from the moment I first saw you." human greed might be the same as his. Just the way you were craving for his body, so was him.

"I'm not doing anything, really." he said, moving his lips on your chest, getting one of your nipples inside his mouth and sucking on it slightly before biting it. You looked like you liked it, so he'll continue to do it. "But if it helps, I want you too." he said, moving his mouth on your shoulder before sinking his teeth in it.

What does he mean? Was he not doing magic on you? Why were you feeling like this then?

You moved your body away from his for a moment, making him look desperate at you. He wanted to leave more marks, his scent on you, to let everyone know about his presence.

"You're not doing anything?" he shook his head. So you're the one who started all this? It wasn't his pheromones? He didn't put you under a spell that made you crave for his body?

He looked at you, his hands moved on your hips, dragging you back on his cock and making you gasp when he hit that deep spot a bit too hard.

You were so confident a moment ago, and now you wanted to back down?

"You can pretend that I am, if it makes you feel better." he said, moving his hips into you. "I won't do a thing." not unless you make him to.

He'd happily make you dumb for him, but it was so much fun when you were the one starting everything. He won't experience this if he plays with your mind. But there are other ways to make you want him. Just the way small fish stick together to their own kind, he'll make you feel like everything was danger besides him, he'll make you run from everything unfamiliar.

"No, it's-" your protest won't work on him.

"If that's what you want to believe then go ahead." he dragged you back into his arms, your chest pressed against his as he moved his dick inside your warm hole.

You shouldn't have made a move without consulting him first. Now look at this, you're stuck with him. What if he doesn't want to help you go back home anymore? If he even had the intention to do that.

"Then, are you alright with this?" he laughed, making your heart skip a beat.

"Why wouldn't I?" with his hands still on you, he guided you up and down his cock, showing you what he learned so far. He'll mimic your moves, whatever you're doing he's doing.

He loves the human way, it felt much more intimate. Your body right into his, heck, he's even inside you somehow. This was better than what he had in mind, like, so much better that it managed to calm his carnal desire. He wanted to chop you into pieces, he wanted to be under your skin in a way or another. Or even better, if you did that to him he wouldn't complain. But now he can have you next to him, touch you, feel you, and be inside places he never thought of.

You were so warm, he can't get enough of it. On the outside, your skin was burning, and it made him stick more to you, push his body into yours to try to feel you better. And on the inside? He was melting. He never felt something this hot before.

Somehow, this made him want to see how much further he can get inside of you, how much of himself he can push in? He didn't mean to go too far with this, he really didn't, but he realized his mistake only after you feel on your back, off him.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his senses getting back to him a little. He still can't believe he lost control of himself for a moment.

"Yeah." you said, looking up at him.

"Let me help you get up." you shook your head.

"Come here. We can do it this way." you could do it in other positions? Now he wanted to test his creativity.

He looked down at your body, observing it from a different angle.

He got closer to you, trapping you between him and the ground. He positioned himself on top of you, getting inside your pussy, slowly. He haven't even been out of you for long and yet he's acting like he haven't touched you in years.

He's surprised how much easier he can move now, it gave him much more control over you. You can't move without his approval, and he can't help but feel exited.

He was nothing but a whore, getting pussy drunk from this little. He was about to forget his own name, and he would happily do that if he could be inside you forever.

"I love you." or more like, he loves your body. But his confession went to deaf ears, you acted like you didn't heard him. "Y/N." you chose to ignore him. "I love your body." he looked right into your eyes, and honestly, you can feel whatever witchcraft he's doing. His magic worked on you, and you're afraid to admit you don't have much willpower to object.

A hand placed next to your head, while the other went to your hips, dragging your body up so he could move more freely, to get even deeper than he already is.

He was smart, and as much as you don't want to think about it, you might not be able to fool him. He had a brain and he was using it, he was working way to fast, understanding you and how your body works.

He could smell the fear off you, and it was much more sweeter than your pleasure. It made his mouth water, it made his pupils bigger, his eyes fixed on you like was about to eat you. Kill you and store you somewhere even deeper than a underwater cave.

"Touch yourself." you looked surprised at him. He knew how to talk like that? Since when? "Right here, where you did it last time." he was talking about your clit. "You looked like you were enjoying it, so do it. Touch yourself until you can't do it anymore." he had no shame, or perhaps he didn't even knew what that even means.

You gulped, a hand traveling between your legs, doing circles on your clit and waiting for him to say something else. But he had nothing more to say, you knew your body the best. He wanted to know more too, fuck, he'd go and do another contract just to be able to know you better than you knew yourself. He'd sign a hundred more contracts to be able to read your mind.

"Tell me where you like it." he said, wanting to see you break. There had to be a limit to this please, and he wants to see you crumble. "And how." he sounded out of breath. "How should I touch you?" fucking mermaids, fuck him and his beautiful face, he was so perfect that it annoys you. His voice, seducing you every time he opens his mouth to let words out of it, his body that seemed to crave for your touch. Reacting to everything you say and do, learning everything your body likes. "Come on, tell me." he begged. "I want to please you." man, what did you just said. He's making you forget about your morals.

You bite your lip, looking at him with pleading eyes. He had no idea how to react to you, everything you do is so new to him. He's so hesitant, and he hates it. He wants to do everything right, he wants to do you right. How does he know you like it if you're not telling him?

You took his hand in yours and placed it somewhere on your body, somewhere where you wanted to feel his touch. "Touch me how you want, I'm not picky." that was the problem. He wanted you to be more precisely, he wanted you to ask some very specific requests. Don't let him guess, because if it's after him, he wants to skin you alive so he could wear you. How else would he know if he's not in your shoes.

"How is it here?" he stopped his movement, too focused on trying to figure out your body. He likes all of you, from head to toes. "And here?" he moved his hands somewhere else. "Here?" he was talking too much, he was doing the most and yet nothing at the same time.

You moved a hand behind his head, dragging him down and smacking your lips against his. "You're thinking way too much. Stop it." but he still had questions.

Whatever, he haves more than enough time to find out.

Kissing you, he started to move his hips again. This time, he was less careful. He pushed all of him in, and with each movement, the force he was using increased, and so was the speed. The thrusts that were slow and soft at first now being changed to this animalistic like movement. His tongue in your mouth, fishing for yours while his hands were groping and touching everything he could. Your breasts, your arms, hips and anything that was on your body.

Your sounds, he wanted them. He wanted to eat your voice, if he could even do that. His heart was beating so fast and he knew he couldn't do anything until he fills you up with his cum.

The cave was filled with wet souds, and if he could, he would let every single creature in the ocean know about you two. How he makes you feel, the way you roll your eyes and how your body reacts to his.

Your insides are squeezing him again. Do you like it? Because he can't figure it out and it's infuriating him.

"Wait, wait." you didn't looked like you wanted him to stop though. You had your eyes closed, mouth half open, and the cutest expression on your face.

His mouth moved to your shoulder again, wanting to bite you to keep himself in place before he does something he'll regret.

You were trembling, your legs closing around him. "Fuuck." you cursed under your breath. Biting your lips, you let out a muffled moan, cumming a lot harder than before, making him cum right after you too because of the way you were hugging his cock so tight. "No more." your chest was moving up and down, and it was hypnotizing him. "Really, I can't take it anymore."

He doesn't think he could too. Anything more and he feels like his body would give up on himself.

But it was more than enough for that night, perhaps, he'll go and make another contract tomorrow and ask for some legs again.

And now that he thinks about it, he did what it said in the contract. He got something of yours, your body. So, now he can sleep reassured.

The next day, you woke up a lot lately than you usually do. But you can't really figure out what time it was since you haven't seen the sun in a long time.

"You're awake?" someone got inside the cave after a while. Oh, you almost forgot about him.

"Yeah." he looks like a merman again.

"I got you food." that same bland fish. But it was better than nothing.

"Thank you." you said, taking the fish and trying to finish it as soon as possible to get over with it. He looked at you, tail swinging left and right and a big dumb smile on his face. Next time he gets legs again, he'd like to fuck your mouth again. This time he knows what to do so don't think you'll be able to rest for a bit.

"I saw some pretty clothes." he said, suddenly remembering of some suitcases he found. "I want to see them on you." he didn't want to let other people see you naked, so, he might as well dress you with the most beautiful things he finds.

"Sure?" that was all he needed before he disappeared, coming back later with some dry looking suitcases.

"How are they so dry?" you looked at the clothes. It was like they don't got wet in water.

"I put them in bubbles." he said, making a small bubble appear on his palm. "I take up the water to dry and then put them in bubbles so they stay that way." how could you forget he wasn't even human.

"I see." what else could you say?

"Try them on."

"Now?" he nodded. All you did was to sigh, looking at him for a moment and how he didn't plan on getting out the cave so you could change, or at least turn around.

He had a tail now, he couldn't do anything at the moment. So, you took your clothes off, making him look with the same old predatory eyes on you. He should have went to get another contract before he came back, he wants his legs now.

He stood at the entrance of the cave, half of his body in water and the rest on the ground, looking at every single move you made. "Turn around." he said, making you do a spin. "Walk a little." he wanted to parade you, put you in a bubble and show everybody how beautiful you were. In his eyes, you were like one of those pretty gems, and he knows others would think the same, because of course they do. They weren't any different from him.

"What do you think?" you asked after you tried everything on.

"I'll get more clothes for you." he was ready to go back and look for something new.

"No, no, it's alright. Come here." you stopped him, making him jump out of water and crawl next to you. "I feel tired. Stay here for a little longer." he sat down, waiting for you to get in his arms and get some rest.

He loves studying you, you were so fascinating in his eyes.

You're careful with your moves, even when you touch him. Your hands were so much smaller and yet it would always managed to leave such marks on him. He can't help but want more.

He wants his legs back, but that dumb octopus won't give it to him. Saying that he's too busy to make a contract and trying to find all kind of excuse to not give Gojo what he wants.

You look so cute, looking at him with big doe eyes, eyelashes moving prettily. It's like you're begging for him. He wanted to give you all of him, but he couldn't when he didn't had what you needed. Stupid tail, stupid dick. He's stuck with only cuddling because of this.

"I've been thinking about it." he said one time after he got you food.

"Hm? Did something happen?" he had a serious expression on his face, and it made you put questions.

"I don't know when I'll get my legs back." what a weird sentence, it didn't made sense but at the same time, it does. You never thought you'll hear something this stupid, and yet, you fully believe him.

"It's alright. I don't see a problem with you being a mermaid." but he does. He's so close yet so far. This fire inside of him was eating him, his desire for you was way bigger than any morals he might had. How can he become one with you again if he's not human? How can he calm his cravings if he's not deep inside your warm pussy?

"What if you become one too?" he said without even thinking.

"What?" you looked surprised at him. He wasn't lying was he?

"I rather be human, but you can become a merfolk too. I can show you so many places. You could even leave this boring cave and find a way cooler one." right, how didn't he thought of that. He'll get a few contracts before leaving, and then search for a pretty beach where you could satisfy your desires. He already can see it, under the stars, your bodies pressed against one another and kissing each other like there's no tomorrow. The places you two could do it.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah! Absolutely! I know a guy who can do it. I'll go talk to him and I'll be right back." he jumped in the water and gone he was. "Suguru, Suguru." the octopus was already sighing. "Do something for me."

"No."

"Come on. Just hear me out." the dark haired merfolk shook his head, already being done with the merman.

"What do you want."

"You can make me a human, right?"

"I can give you the illusion that you're a human, but yes, I guess." the octopus already knows what Gojo was going to say. "I'll give you legs if you leave me alone."

"I mean, sure. But I'm here to ask you to make Y/N a mermaid." the octopus froze in place. A human? Becoming what? A human? One of those monkeys on the surface becoming what?

"No." like heck he'll do it.

"Come on. She said that she'll find a cave with me where we can live until we die." humans are so deceiving. Can you believe that such a weak creature managed to capture this dumbass attention?

"Alright. I'll see how you're stupid human is before I decided on doing something." and that's how you woke up with Gojo and another merman in the cave.

"This is Y/N." the white haired merman said, presenting you to the one who didn't wanted to get out the water. "And this is Suguru, he's the one that gave me legs."

"I thought that you can just do it, like blinking." you said, but all you got in response was Satoru's laugh.

"I wish." he had a smile on his face. "Anyway, can you give her a tail?"

"Hmm." the octopus said, still not convinced. You had a pretty face, he doesn't know about your intentions or what you might have in your head. "What do you think about him?" the dark haired man said, pointing his finger at the merman who was next to him, tail in the water and moving it left and right.

"He's good." you didn't elaborate anything more.

"He's different from you." the octopus said, making you nod. "He could kill you whenever he wants." you nodded again. "He could do it right here right now, and no one would know about it."

"Suguru." the white haired merman said, his happy face now serious.

"I know." you were well aware of it.

"Aren't you afraid of him?" you didn't said a thing.

"It's normal to be afraid of what you don't know." Gojo said, repeating the same words you told him.

"I mean, is there anything not to be afraid of?" you sighed. "He's beautiful, like, truly. I never seen anything like this before so it's a bit scary. Is he even real?" you started talking, making the merman to smile again. "I'm afraid of my own kind, sometimes I get scared of my own shadow." the white haired merman jumped out of water, coming next to you. "Even you're a bit scary, if I'm being honest."

"He's always like that. That's why no one talks to him." Gojo said, dragging you in his arms and rubbing his head against your hair.

"What about now?" the octopus said, placing his hands on the ground, pushing himself up so he could sit down on the cold rock. "Am I just a bit scary?" he would have lied if he said he didn't expected you to act cool, put a act on and try to look brave. But no, instead you looked terrified at his tentacles. "Hah." he puffed, already knowing that he was asking too much from you.

"It's normal to be scared, that's the circle of life." Gojo came to your defense. "She looked even more scared when she saw my tail." he said it like it was something to be proud of.

"How?" you couldn't understand them. It was truly strange. It didn't made any sense to you, no matter how much you tried to think about it. "What happened when someone touches your.. Um.." you pointed at the octopus tentacles.

"Want to find out?" you shook your head. "Thought so." you're just like he imagined. Weak and pathetic. "I could figure something out for you."

"Really?" the white haired merman said, happy with the news. "Give her a tail like mine, we'll match."

"That doesn't rely on me." what a disappointment. "If you want to do a contract with me, you'll have to pay a price."

"I'll do it." Gojo said, willing to do it on your behalf.

"That's not how it works. She's the one doing the contract, she'll have to do it." the octopus said, moving his eyes from the merman to you. "I'll give you a tail in exchange for something."

"I don't have money." you replied instantly.

"Humans, so materialistic." he was talking like he wasn't getting fishes bankrupt left and right. "You'll have to find a merman to spend the rest of your life with." Gojo didn't looked happy at those words. "He needs to have white hair and blue eyes." wait a moment, was he actually helping? "And a white tail too." the octopus said, looking at the merman and trying to find stuff that described him. "His name haves to start with a G and a S." can he get more specific than this? "It haves to have the letters, a, o, u. Lemme think." he paused for a moment. "T too, and a r. Oh and a j."

"Where will I find someone like that?" you asked, not thinking too much about that ridiculous request.

"I wander so too." Gojo was blinking prettily, all a smile and already thinking of where to get out for the first time. So many places to see, so little time. "Anyway, I'll get the contract ready by tomorrow." the octopus jumped back in the water. "Here." he threw something to the merman. "Do whatever you want with it." and with that, he left.

"What's this?" you looked at the golden paper. All he did was to kiss you before he sign it, suddenly starting glowing and then having his legs back.

He wasted no time, jumping on you, kissing you while his hands went under your clothes.

"I've been dying to do this." he said, pausing in place to look at you taking your shirt off. He's going to make it up for all the time he had to only look at you. And it was showing because he tried to get inside of you right away. "Why does it not fit?" you did it last time. He doesn't understand why it doesn't work now.

"I'm not ready yet." so there's a certain time he haves to do it? Damn, he missed his chance. "Kiss me more." he can at least do that.

His kisses were much softer now, knowing that he can't do anything, he should at least enjoy the way you felt on him.

You took his hand in yours, going back between your legs and showing him how much wetter it got. And that got him an idea.

Getting his face away from yours, he pushed you down, getting between your legs. You're so sweet, he could never get enough of your scent. It was intoxicating, and he got even more drunk for you the moment he tasted your juices.

He moaned, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed, tasting more of you. Why didn't you told him that he could do this? How could you hide this from him.

He wrapped his hands around your thighs, dragging you closer to him, pushing his face harder into you. He took a deep breath before taking a long lick of your juices, another moan escaping his mouth.

He was sucking on your clit, and then cleaning any excess juices that got out of you. Liking and sucking, he kept doing that again and again.

"Put it in me." you left out a broken whimper.

"Not yet." he haven't had enough of you yet.

"Your fingers. Do it with them." oh right, he can do that. There were so many things that he could do, he lost count of them.

Two of his fingers went inside you, moving them in and out. He didn't forget about your clit, especially when he knows that you like it there.

Your sounds were the best, your voice singing so loud for him. He loves it, truly. And perhaps you liked what he's doing too, because you started squirming around, making him try to hold you in place, and making the fingers inside of you to curl. "Toru." his eyes went wide open, looking up at you crying his name. What did he do to get you like that? Then it hit him, and he curled his fingers again making you let out another cry.

His mouth was watering. There's so many things he doesn't know about you and he wanted to see them all. He got up from between your legs, his hand still moving, giving you all the attention you needed.

"What's that?" he sounded so happy. Big grin on his face and looking down at your face. He kissed your cheek, licking it after. He really was about to eat you alive, and if the psychotic expression he had wasn't obviously, then dunno what else you needed to know that you're in danger. He started biting you, your cheeks, your lips, and even your neck. Perhaps he put too much pressure because he could see your face changing.

He moved his fingers in and out, giving you a break because he started to curl them again, his palm against your clit, rubbing it while moving his hand.

You grabbed his arm, trying to calm your breath. But nothing really worked when he was doing his best to see what new expressions you'll show him.

"Kiss me." he didn't wanted to, but he did it anyway. Smashing his lips against yours, and not really doing much since he was more interested in torturing you.

He kept his face closer to yours, looking down at your pussy who was sucking him in. That idiotic smile still on his face, wanting to add more fingers in you and see how much you can take.

"Come on, do it already. I want you inside of me." he couldn't give a shit about your pleas, he's too focused on his new discovery. "Satoru." you looked at him so cute, but he didn't wanted to entertain you. "Come on, Satoru." it was like he wasn't even listening to you.

You cupped his face with your hands, kissing him and trying to make him move his focus on something else. Your hand went over his, getting his fingers out of you, slowly pushing him down so you could get on top of him.

"I don't want to." he said, somehow coming regaining his composure.

"But I do." he had a serious expression on his face, but that didn't stopped you from getting on his lap, wrapping his hands around you. "I'll do it if you don't."

"I want to do it." but can you trust him when he switches so fast? It was a bit scary, how he loses control over himself.

"I'll do it." you shook your head, a hand on his dick to keep him in place and slowly sinking your hips down to meet his. He let out a sigh, still not over the fact that you stopped him.

You moved up and down, taking your time with the action since no one was rushing you. He looked impatient, but he didn't dared to do a thing. He just kept his arms around you, looking at how you move yourself on him.

He got his face closer to your body, wanting to bite you, but you stopped him. "Don't do a thing. Just stay in place." you took his hands off you. "No touching." why? This was bullshit.

You don't trust him? Fine, he can sit in place. It's not like he can't do it.

So, he stood there, watching you, his eyes moving up and down everytime you moved. One of your hands went lower, between your legs, rubbing your clit softly. He could do that, he can definitely do it. And the fact that you're not letting him makes him feel offended.

You keep gasping, your voice a lot quieter than before. Did you enjoyed it that way? Because he would be more careful next time. But of course he will, he can't be put in time out again. How can he explore your body if he's forbid from doing anything.

Your warm walls are squeezing him again. But he's doing nothing more than watching you, forgetting about himself as he's too absorbed by you. Have anyone else told you that you look beautiful when you cum? Because heck, he could watch you all day.

You're breathing hard, resting your head against his shoulder as you try to come back from your high.

"Can I touch you?" he asked, already raising his hands.

"Sure." he placed his hands on your hips, caressing your skin for a moment before he moved it to your ass, grabbing it and moving you up and down.

Slowly, just the way he saw you doing it. He watched his actions, paying attention to how you're reacting before he increased the speed.

He'll be more mindful from now on, he promises. But now, fuck, you feel good. He would have got lost in the feeling again if he wasn't trying hard to sane.

His lips on yours, trying to take some of his pain away, to take his thoughts away from how hard he wants to fuck you right now.

"Is there something on your mind?" he looked so defeated, you couldn't just sit there and not ask him.

"No, it's alright." lies. You cupped his face again, looking at him before kissing his forehead.

"Come on, tell me." one of your hands went to his hair, playing with it and making him sigh again.

"Let me fuck you." you laughed. "I'm serious. Let me do it." he looks so lost, what will he do if you say no?

"Sure." he raised your hips, holding you in place before he started to fuck himself into you. Moving fast without giving you a moment to spare.

He loved you when you were louder, when it didn't look like you were keeping yout voice from him. He wanted to do stuff to you, for you. So don't leave him hanging, let him do more.

With his face in your shoulder, he sink his teeth into your skin, making you let out a few broken cries.

He kept going, and going, he didn't stopped bullying himself inside you even after you came, and he definitely didn't stopped even after he did it.

"You'll get a pretty tail, right?" he asked some time later, before going to sleep. You were in his arms, ready to fall asleep and wake up tomorrow ready for another day.

"I don't see why not."

"There are so many things you have to see." he rested his head against yours. "I'll show you everything."

"Mm." you murmured something in response before falling asleep, dreaming about being a fish and swimming around in a big blue ocean, the sun above you and surrounded by all kind of marine life.

Author's note: now I'm thinking of octopus Geto. I'm too lazy to write something about it but I'm full of ideas at the same time. What a life.

#jjk smut #gojo satoru #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut #gojo x reader #jjk fanfic

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rynwritesstuff · 1 year ago

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Unknown

Billy The Kid x Reader

Warnings: Feisty!Reader, General outlaw stuff (guns, cursing, threats), Mentions of sex work/brothels, Smut (PIV sex, unprotected sex, rough sex), Hint of fluff, Imprisonment, Jailbreak

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: After discovering Billy Antrim one night, you persuade him to travel with you. A wild and interesting adventure ensues.

Author's Note: I've spent the past several weeks reading the most incredible Billy x Reader fics, and I wanted to try my hand at writing for him. I wanted to tag a few of my favorite Billy writers, because they have inspired me to give this a try. (Thank you @billysgun @atrwriting and @goosita you guys are incredible, I admire you so much, keep doing what you're doing <3)

“It ain’t the being alone. It ain’t the empty home, baby, you know I’m good on my own. You know, it’s more the being unknown. So much of the living, love, is the being unknown.” - Unknown / Nth, Hozier

When he hears it – the footsteps – Billy’s head snaps to the side. A million thoughts run through his head. Robbers, outlaws, all-around no good men . . . They could be anywhere. They could be everywhere. Slowly, carefully, he reaches for the gun at his hip. He barely has time to touch it before the sound of a gun cocking comes from behind him. He pauses.

“Don’t. Move,” comes your voice. Billy swallows harshly as he freezes. It’s dark aside from the campfire in front of him and the moon and stars sparkling in the sky. Billy keeps his breathing even and steady as footsteps come closer.

“I need money,” you say.

“You’ve got the wrong man, miss,” Billy says, unmoving. “I’ve got nothin’.”

“Food, then. Got any food?”

Billy nods towards the small pot beside the fire.

“There’s a bit left over there.”

You circle him, and when you do, he catches a glimpse of your face, slightly shielded by an old hat. Your hair is pulled back and you wear men’s clothing. Your too-big boots thud against the grass. Even like this, Billy can tell that you're beautiful, the kind of beautiful that would bring a God-fearing man to his knees.

You keep your gun pointed at him as you look down into the pot and then back up at BIlly.

“It’s not enough.”

“It’s what I’ve got.”

“You’re lying,” you say easily. “You’re in the middle of nowhere, there’s no way you came this far with so little food. You think I’m an idiot, boy?”

“No,” Billy shakes his head. “I mean it. That’s the last of my food.”

You chuckle dryly, then approach Billy.

“Keep your hands up,” you warn. You tug his gun from his holster, then step back towards the fire. Billy is now completely unarmed. He couldn’t shoot you even if he wanted to. You crouch down beside the pot. It’ll have to do, you decide, and reach in with your bare hand to scoop up the beans and bring them to your mouth. You sigh. They’re salty and warm and earthy, and they soothe the ache in your stomach.

Billy moves slightly, you see him out of the corner of your eye, and you bring your gun up again. He freezes.

“I was just shiftin’,” he tells you. Wordlessly, you look back down at the pot and continue to eat. Billy watches you curiously. Where are you coming from? Where are you going? And, perhaps most importantly, who are you on the run from?

“Billy the Kid,” you say finally, wiping your hand on the grass as you get to your feet. “Hm. I didn’t recognize you at first.”

“Do I know you?” Billy asks.

“No. But damn near everyone in the West knows you. Ya shouldn’t be surprised.” You slowly make your way over to his horse. You open his saddle bag as Billy turns to watch you. You pull out his shotgun, humming to yourself. You set it aside, and Billy’s heart begins to race.

“The ring,” he says quickly, making you pause, “please don’t take it. It was my ma’s.”

You halt. How strange it is, to hear William Antrim speak so desperately. You stare at him as you pull the small gold band from his bag. You hold it in your palm, and Billy watches you with a pained expression.

“Please. She’s gone, she’s dead. It’s all I got left of ‘er.”

You shake your head.

“I’m not heartless, Billy,” you say, and Billy nearly laughs. No, woman holding me at gunpoint, he thinks. Of course you’re not.

“I’ve lost people, too,” you tell him. You toss the ring to him, and he catches it, clutching it tightly. “I’ll advise you to keep it closer to you, though. People like me aren’t always so understanding.”

You go back to digging through his bag but don't find much; an apple, a pocket watch, a few shirts and a pair of pants. You huff, keeping only the apple, and shove everything back into the saddle bag, including the shotgun.

“You’re shit out of luck, Billy,” you say, stepping towards him as you bite into the apple. You wipe a bit of juice from the corner of your mouth. “No food, no water–”

“I have water.”

“Oh, well excuse me, then. I apologize,” you say sarcastically. Billy clenches his jaw. You sit down a good five feet away from Billy, gun still in-hand as you eat the apple.

“God, fuck,” you breathe. Billy glances at you. “Haven’t had fruit in a month.”

“Neither have I,” Billy says flatly.

“Mm. As I was sayin’ . . . You’re kinda fucked right now. Where’re you headed?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Liar,” you say. You’re confident while you have the gun in your hand, and although you know that Billy could scramble for his shotgun, you also know that you could blow his head off before he got there. If he tries something, anything, he’s a dead man. He must know it, too.

“The next town over,” Billy says finally. “I need somewhere to stay for a while.”

“It’s about fifteen miles East,” you say. You bite into the apple again. “You know where you’re going? How to get there?”

“I prefer to travel alone,” Billy says as he watches you. For a moment, a small, brief, fleeting moment, he wonders what you look like beneath the tattered button-up shirt. He’s only slept with a handful of women, and it’s been a long while since he’s touched himself, much less had someone else touch him. He swallows harshly.

You lap your tongue over the dripping apple to gather the juice, then speak.

“Right. Well, I need a man to come with me East. Nobody takes women seriously in that town, I was there a while back.”

“Surely you don’t want to risk being recognized, then,” Billy says. You chuckle.

“Unlike you, Antrim, I’m moving from town to town by choice. I've got nothing to hide.”

Well. That seems to answer Billy’s questions. He sighs, then looks away. Perhaps this is a good thing. Maybe a woman is what he needs. A fiery, feisty woman who will try to keep him in-line.

“What’s in it for me?” he asks.

You shrug.

“Money, probably. Food. A roof over your head.”

“Until I get caught.”

“I’ll try to keep you out of trouble if you promise to try, too.”

Billy looks over at you.

“I don’t even know your name.”

You smile softly, looking at him kindly for the first time all evening. You tell him your name, and when you do, he tests how it feels to say it. You nod.

“Right,” you say. “Ya got it.”

Billy hums.

“This doesn’t mean I trust you,” he says.

“No,” you say, tossing him back his gun. “I’d hope not. You wouldn’t be a very good outlaw if you trusted someone that easily.”

Billy slips his gun back into his holster, feeling better now that he has his firearm again. You take another bite of the apple.

“Let’s leave at dawn,” you tell him. Billy still isn’t completely convinced that this is a good idea, but he doesn’t want to argue. He doesn’t want to upset you or set you off.

“Fine,” he says. You nudge him.

“Where are those manners you had a bit ago?” you tease, tossing the apple core aside. “‘Miss’ and ‘ma’am’. Your mama raised you right.”

“Yes, ma’am, she did,” Billy says, offering you a small, teasing smile.

***

Dawn comes, as it always does. You wake before Billy, and take it upon yourself to tidy up his things from the night before. The pot is washed and the fire is out when Billy’s eyes open, and he glances around for a moment. He sees you, and you offer him a nod.

“Get up,” you tell him as you guide his horse over. “I’d like to get there as soon as possible.”

Billy groans softly as he sits up on the blanket that separates him from the grass.

“You don’t have a horse? You came all this way on foot?”

You sigh, leaning against Billy’s horse.

“She got stolen a few miles back,” you say. “I was surprised they didn’t get yours, too.”

“Mm. Sorry to hear that,” he says as he folds up the blanket and attaches it to his saddle bag. You shake your head.

“Not much that can be done about it now. Ya ready to go, Billy?”

He nods as he puts on his hat and approaches his horse. He holds his hand out to you and helps you up onto the saddle. He knows that you can get up yourself, but you shouldn’t have to do such a thing. Not when there’s a man around to help you.

Knowing that you won’t both fit on the saddle, Billy decides to walk. You watch him as he guides his horse. The muscles in his strong arms flex as he goes, and you find yourself staring at him more than the scenery around you. You know what this likely means, of course, but you don’t want to think about it.

You don’t want to complicate things.

Hours pass. The pair of you reach a town. Dust is kicked up as Billy’s horse trots through, and people bustle busily. You glance around. People stare at the two of you, and you wonder if it’s because they recognize Billy, or perhaps you from when you were here previously. You wipe sweat from your brow.

“There’s a brothel that way,” you say, pointing to the right. “Rooms are cheap there.”

“I thought you didn’t have much money,” Billy says, guiding his horse in the direction you pointed in.

“I don’t,” you say. “But I have enough for us to stay somewhere for a week or so.”

You hear Billy sigh, and you clench your jaw.

“You got a better idea?” you ask.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothin’. Don’t worry about it,” you say. Men are so finicky, you think. You arrive at the brothel just after noon, and you get off the horse. Billy goes to follow you, and you hold your hand up.

“Don’t. You’ll get swarmed by whores. Just stay here, let me do the talking.”

Billy’s brow furrows slightly.

“What if there’s trouble?” he asks. You tap the gun holstered at your hip.

“I can handle myself.”

Without another word, you head into the brothel. You locate the owner and speak to her about a room for you and your friend. Just as you remembered, the rooms are cheap, cheap enough for you to rent a room for longer than you thought you’d be able to. You pay the owner, then step back outside.

“Get our stuff,” you tell Billy. “I’ll take your horse to the stable.”

Wordlessly, Billy obeys, gathering the bags before you lead his horse around the building. He steps inside. Just as you predicted, a few whores approach him.

They gush at him, telling him how incredibly handsome he is, and how he must be tired, and how he looks like he needs a good blowjob. He politely turns them down, his cheeks warming slightly. One of the whores, a blonde woman, runs her hand over his chest. He tries not to stare at her bare breasts.

“You stayin’ awhile?” she asks. Billy nods. She hums. “Come n’ see me sometime, won’t ya?”

Billy offers her a kind smile.

“I’m a busy man, I’m afraid. Don’t have time for that.”

He hears footsteps behind him, and moments later, he’s being tugged towards the stairs of the brothel.

“Told ya they’d flock to you,” you say as you and Billy go up to the room. You unlock the door.

“They’re just doing their job,” he says as he steps into the room and sets the bags down. You sigh as you re-lock the door. You put your hands on your hips as you walk around the room, inspecting it. It’s not nice by any means, but it’s a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in, and that’s enough for now.

“I’ll take the floor,” he offers. You glance at him. “Y’know. When we sleep.”

You shake your head with a sigh as you take off your hat.

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I don’t particularly care if we share a bed,” you say. Billy doesn’t say anything. You glance at him. He’s staring at you. “What?”

Just as he had noticed last night, you’re beautiful. And if you look this nice like this, he can only imagine what you’d look like all dolled up, or even just freshly bathed. He wonders what it would be like to touch you, to feel you beneath him, to have your body canting up towards his.

He shakes his head slightly.

“Nothing. Just . . . Nothing.”

“If you want the floor, you can have it–”

“No, no, I don’t mind either,” he says. You sit down at the edge of the bed, then lie back on it with a drawn-out sigh.

“I’m gonna sleep good tonight,” you chuckle. Billy finds himself smiling softly.

“Is it comfortable?” he asks. You laugh again.

“Not at all, but it’s better than the ground.”

Billy approaches the bed and sits down beside you, leaving a gap between your bodies. He bounces a bit, and the bed frame squeaks. He hums as he stops.

“Well?” you ask, looking up at him.

“You’re right, it’s awful.”

You hum, rubbing your eyes.

“I know.” You sigh. “Why don’t you go downstairs and eat?”

“What’re you gonna do?” he asks.

“Take a bath,” you say. Billy nods. He knows he should bathe too, especially if he’s going to be sleeping beside you, but he’s so, so hungry . . .

“I’ll go after you, then,” he says, getting to his feet. “You know where to find me if you need anything.”

“Hang on.”

Billy pauses, glancing back at you as you sit up. You gesture for him to come back towards the bed. He obliges. There is a foot or so of space between your bodies, and you look up at him with a twinkle in your eye. You know what you want to tell him, but you don’t know how to say it. You know what you want to do, but you don’t know how to get there.

“You’re the most handsome outlaw I’ve dealt with, y’know,” you say finally, voice soft. Billy is surprised but most certainly not disappointed. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“How many outlaws have you dealt with?” Billy asks.

“Quite a few.”

He hums.

“I suppose that means I should be thanking you, then," he says. You reach out and tug on his belt loops, pulling him closer. You put your hands on his hips and look up at him.

“Yes. You should.”

Billy leans down a bit.

“Thank you, then, miss,” he says quietly. You feel his breath against you, and you let out a soft sigh as heat blooms between your thighs. Hesitantly, you bring your hand up to touch his cheek. You feel the stubble near his chin and jaw as you look into his eyes.

“Can I–?”

“You don’t even havta ask,” Billy tells you softly. He leans forward and presses his lips against yours. You inhale sharply as you pull him closer. He kisses you hungrily, desperately, like a man dying. You touch him wherever you can: His cheeks, his jaw, the sides of his throat, his shoulders. He gets on top of you as you scoot back on the bed. You keep one of your hands on the back of his head, which ensures that his lips stay pressed against yours while the two of you move and adjust.

Billy tosses his hat to the side, and once he’s done that, you tug at his suspenders. You push them off of his shoulders, and you spread your legs a bit more to make room for him to comfortably fit between them. He kisses you again, hot and heavy, and you moan against his lips.

“Please,” you sigh. He nods as he unbuttons your shirt.

“I’ve got ya,” Billy reassures you. You kiss him as a sense of safety and security washes over you. He’s got you. He’s got you. You let him unbutton your shirt, and when your breasts are revealed, he leans down to kiss at them. You sigh at the feeling of his chapped lips on your smooth skin. You shrug the shirt all the way off so that your torso is bare, then run your fingers through his dark curls.

“Billy,” you sigh, eyes fluttering. He hums. You want to touch him, to feel his skin against yours. You grab his collar and pull him back up so you can kiss him. You fumble with his buttons, and when you get his shirt off, you yank off his undershirt, too. You grip his bare shoulders, your hands running down to his biceps.

“Fuck,” you breathe. He smiles softly.

“Like what ya see?” he asks. You nod.

“Sure do,” you tell him. When he stands back to undo his trousers, you quickly kick off your boots and stand up to push down your pants to leave you nude. You get on the bed once you’re naked, and when Billy looks back up at you, cock in-hand, he makes a soft sound in the back of his throat, a sound of pleasure. You smile as you spread your legs, feeling a bit bashful but excited nonetheless.

Billy says your name, then. It’s a whisper, a sigh, a prayer. He gets back on top of you, and his dripping cock presses against you as he leans down to kiss you. You groan.

“I want you inside me,” you tell him, giving his hair a gentle tug. He nods, pressing his tip against your entrance. He looks up at you, silently asking for permission, and you smile softly.

“Billy, I love that you’re bein’ a gentleman, but I really need you to ruin me right now. We can be polite to each other later, okay?” you tell him. This makes him chuckle, a quiet, hearty sound, and he nods.

“Okay,” he says, pushing his tip in. “Understood.”

You hum, hands moving down to his biceps. You grip him tightly as he pushes in further.

“Oh, fuck, Billy . . .”

“Too much?” he asks. You shake your head.

“No, no, just go slow at first. Ease it in, y’know?”

Billy nods.

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathes teasingly, pushing in further. Your wetness coats his cock easily, and he groans at the feeling of your wet heat engulfing him. “Jesus ffffuckin’ . . .”

Your grip on him tightens as he pushes his cock all the way inside of you. You moan softly as his tip presses against the sweet spot inside of you.

“Oh, god,” you hum. “Mm, Billy . . . Move . . .”

His hand fits into the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and he holds you there as he begins to roll his hips. He is slow at first, gentle, but his pace quickly picks up. The bed frame creaks and groans, and you moan loudly.

“How is it?" he asks breathily, wanting to hear your praise.

“F-Feels good,” you groan as he hits that sweet spot. Your legs and thighs tremble. Your breasts bounce. Your heart races. Billy’s body is firm and strong above you, and his hold on you tightens. You lean up to kiss him, moaning against his lips.

“So needy,” Billy says against your mouth. You moan. “Mm. S-So wet for me . . . Needed this bad, didn’t ya?”

You nod, clinging to him as if you’re the only thing keeping him here, as if he could disappear at any moment and leave you aching for more.

“Ohmygod, Billy . . . F-Faster, I need it faster . . .”

“Mm . . . Ask nicely . . .”

His words go straight to your core, and you clench around him just to hear him grunt. You reach up to tug at his hair, and he turns his head to suck at your jaw. You let him.

“Please,” you sigh. “P-Please, Billy . . . Make me f-feel good . . . Fuck me f-faster . . .”

Billy hums as he pulls away from your jaw.

“Atta girl,” he breathes. He’s pounding you, now, fucking you so hard that you begin to worry that the damn bed with break. People can probably hear you, but it’s a fucking brothel, you remind yourself, and you cry out loudly. Your face is hot as Billy’s hips slam against yours. He’s grunting and groaning, and his brows are furrowed in pleasure, and you’re positive that it’s the most wonderful thing you’ve ever seen.

“Oh, fffffuck. Billy, B-Billy, Billy . . .”

“Mm, that’s it,” he groans lowly. “Let everyone know who it is that’s makin’ you feel good.”

Your grip on his hair tightens, and he bites and sucks at your throat as he chases his orgasm quickly. Clumsily and shakily, you reach down between your bodies to rub your clit. Your hips jerk and tears of pleasure fill your eyes as you begin to rub yourself hurriedly. You know Billy is close – his thrusts are getting sloppy – and you want to cum, too.

“Fuck, you feel good,” Billy admits. He reaches for your hand that isn’t on your clit, which surprises you. His fingers intertwine with yours, and he pins you down. He’s holding my hand. He’s about to cum, and he’s holding my hand, you think. Somehow, this small act feels more intimate than anything else the two of you have done in the past several minutes.

“Billy . . . ‘M gonna cum,” you breathe. He nods against you.

“Do it,” he says, encouraging you. “Please. Wanna feel it.”

You close your eyes and tilt your head back. Billy kisses and nibbles at your throat again, his thrusts get harder and faster, and you apply a bit more pressure to the circles you’re rubbing on your clit–

“Oh, fuck!” you cry out loudly. Your body tenses for a moment before you relax against the mattress, pleasure coursing through you. Heat moves over you like a blanket, warming you from head to toe. You’re shaking, trembling as Billy takes you through it.

Before you know it, he’s moaning in your ear and pulling his cock from your pussy. He jerks himself off for one second, two, three, and then he’s cumming on your stomach with a cry of your name. You watch him fall apart above you, and you never were a religious person, but this? This sight is enough to bring you to your knees. You’d worship him if it were an option. That glow, that body, that smile . . . It makes you want to weep.

Billy grunts, stroking himself until his orgasm is over, and he shakily lies down beside you with a huff. You stare up at the ceiling, still catching your breath as his arm touches yours. The reality of what the two of you have just done hits you. You just fucked Billy Antrim. And you liked it.

You look over at him. He’s already staring. You smile.

“Good?” he asks. You nod.

“So good.”

He hums and wipes a bit of sweat from your brow.

“I didn’t think a woman like you would wanna be taken like that,” he says gently. You have to give it to him, he really is a gentleman. Even after you held him at gunpoint, and told him to escort you here, and bossed him around, he's still treating you kindly. He’s still here, he isn’t getting up to leave. In fact, he’s reaching into his pocket and pulling out his handkerchief. He hands it over to you, then gestures to your cum-covered stomach. You smile softly, wipe it up, then set the handkerchief aside.

“I’ll wash this,” you tell him. He nods, humming. His cheeks are red. You like seeing him like this, all flustered and tired.

He sits up slowly, and you watch the muscles in his back ripple as he does. He stands up and tucks his cock back into his trousers before reaching for his undershirt. Your smile fades, and he notices.

“I’m just hungry,” he says. “You want somethin’ from downstairs?”

You lean up on your elbows.

“Something to drink, maybe,” you say. You smile. “And whatever food you can find. I’m in no position to be picky.”

He nods as he puts on his button-up and begins to do it up.

“I’ll do my best,” he says. Once he’s redressed, Billy glances back at you. “You gonna be okay?”

You nod, reaching for your shirt and draping it over your naked body as you lie back against the pillows.

“Mhm. You know I can handle myself.”

“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to.”

You smile widely. Such a charmer.

“Go, before I undress you again,” you tell him again. He chuckles.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You hum, getting comfortable as Billy leaves. You hear the door open and close, and you sigh. Your eyes are heavy, and the mattress feels so soft and comforting compared to what you’ve been having, and it’s so quiet . . .

***

It’s dark when you wake. You stir, put off by the blackness. You’re still naked, and when you realize this, you haphazardly pull your button-up back on. You do it up as you move over, feeling the other side of the bed.

“Billy,” you say into the dark. There is no response. You roll your eyes. That damn bastard. You thought he was different. You thought he was a good man, a kind man. If he wanted more sex, he could have just woken you up, but no, he left you up here in the pitch black. He’s probably downstairs, drinking wine and fucking whores.

You clench your jaw as you fumble around. You start up the lamp on the bedside table, and grab your pants off the floor. You yank them on, along with your boots, then glance around.

“Fucking asshole,” you mutter. “Couldn’t even bring me water.”

You grab the room key and your gun holster off of the bedside table, then yank open the door and start downstairs. The brothel is bustling now that it’s dark outside. Men and naked women are everywhere. You pull a lady aside as you buckle your holster around your hips.

“The guy I was with,” you say to her, “where’s he at?”

She shrugs, then pulls away. Anger boils inside of you. You push your way through and get to the bar. The woman behind it seems to recognize you.

“You got water?” you ask, frustrated by the entire situation. The woman nods, then silently pours you a glass. She hands it over. You down half of it, then set the glass on the bar and wipe your mouth.

“You’re the lady who came here with Billy Antrim,” she says finally. You look up. You’re positive that Billy wouldn’t give out his name, let alone his full name, in a place like this. You remain neutral and calm.

“Who?”

“The man,” the lady behind the bar says. “The one who went upstairs with you, that was Billy Antrim.”

You cock your head.

“What’re you getting at?”

She blinks at you.

“Don’t you know?” she asks.

Your brows furrow.

“Did something happen?”

She nearly laughs.

“Where have you been? Asleep?”

“Where is he?” you ask sharply. Your heart is beginning to race. You have a pit in your stomach. Deep down, you know something bad has happened. The woman watches you carefully.

“You care about him. It’s dangerous to care about people like that–”

“Tell me where the fuck he is!” you snap, right hand reaching down to rest at your holstered gun. The woman behind the bar clenches her jaw.

“Someone turned him in,” she says flatly. “He was taken away a few hours ago.”

Fuck. You should have been awake, you should have been with him. You could have vouched for him, told them that they had the wrong guy. You told him you’d keep him out of trouble, and now . . .

You storm away from the bar, hurrying upstairs to get yours’ and Billy’s things. You leave in a tizzy, adrenaline pumping through you as you fetch Billy’s horse from the stable. You secure everything to the saddle, pull yourself on, and take off towards the jail.

You tie Billy’s horse outside, then step inside. You glance around for a moment, and the jailkeep looks at you, seemingly irritated by your presence. You offer him a charming smile.

“Sir,” you say, nodding politely as he looks you up and down. “I–”

“Visiting hours are over,” he says flatly. You hum, glancing around. You spot Billy, and your eyes linger on him for a moment. He grips the bars of the cell, watching you intently. You’ve got a look in your eyes, he realizes. He hopes you aren’t going to do what he thinks you’re going to do. He doesn’t think he’s worth the trouble.

You look at the jailkeep again. You’re silent for a moment, and before he can tell you to get out, you’re reaching for your gun. You pull it on him and cock it. He stiffens.

“Unlock his cell,” you say firmly. The man doesn’t move, too surprised. “Now!”

Billy watches you with wide eyes. The jailkeep rises to his feet slowly, and you keep the cocked gun pointed at him as he steps over to Billy’s cell.

“Unlock it,” you tell him again. “Hurry up.”

His hands tremble as he finds the right key and unlocks Billy’s cell. Billy steps out quickly, then grabs the keys from the man and shoves him into the cell. He locks him in, and you take a small step back.

“Don’t yell,” you warn the jailkeep. “I’ll kill you, I swear to God, I’ll do it.”

While you threaten the man, Billy hurries over to the desk to find his gun. He grabs the jailkeep’s holster off the desk, too, while he’s at it.

“You’re fuckin’ crazy, woman,” the man says. You hum.

“Damn right I am.” You glance at Billy. “Let’s go.”

Billy takes the keys with him, and the two of you leave the jail quickly.

“There’s another horse over there,” you tell Billy as he runs towards his horse. He nods.

“Go, I’ll keep watch,” he says. You fetch the horse, which you have to guess belonged to the jailkeep, and you hoist yourself up. You ride up beside Billy.

“C’mon, haul ass,” you say, riding past him. His horse gallops after yours, and the two of you ride into the darkness.

The severity of the situation is not lost on Billy. You’re in trouble, now. You broke the law to help him, to get him out, and you did it without hesitation. He would’ve been dead by morning if you hadn’t come to get him, and now you’re an outlaw, too. Guilt claws at him as the two of you leave town.

“You didn’t havta do that,” he says over the sound of hooves hitting the ground.

“I couldn’t leave you.”

Billy shakes his head. He doesn’t understand.

“You don’t even know me,” he says, almost frustrated. What a stupid thing you just did. What a thoughtless, dangerous act.

“I know you’re a good man,” you tell him. “And I know you don’t deserve to hang.”

Billy glances at you, his body bouncing as his horse runs up beside yours. Your eyes meet for just a moment before you look forward again.

“I hope you’re not thinkin’ of ditching me, Antrim,” you say. He can’t help but smile softly. He wouldn’t even dream of doing such a thing. He owes you his life.

“‘Course not,” he says. You hum.

“Then stop lookin’ at me like that and let’s focus on getting the fuck outta here.”

God, where have you been all his life? You’re everything he’s ever needed.

“Yes, ma’am.”

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secondbeatsongs · 9 months ago

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alright my friends.

it’s time.

look! the wall I always take my pictures in front of is blue now! so much has changed. aeons have passed.

this looks unsettling

ohhhh this is dry milk powder! I’d know that taste anywhere - I used to love the stuff, and it’s pretty flammable.

hmm. tastes like there’s a bit of salt in this, and definitely some poppy seeds. fascinating.

I was gonna just go right to cooking it but hahaha holy shit this looks so gross now that I've added water to it

look at it! it looks like a really scummy pond with dead bugs floating in it!

okay. waiting-four-minutes time

Jackie why are you squeaking at me. I’m not letting you climb in the dishwasher again

(look at all the claw marks on the woodwork! she's a menace)

hmmm.

it doesn’t have a strong smell - it smells mostly of noodles with just a hint of garlic and caraway underneath

oh! all the sauce sank to the bottom, but stirring it up there’s definitely some creaminess in the texture of the sauce

hmm. now that it’s stirred up and there’s steam coming off of it, it smells mostly like hot milk, but specifically the instant kind. unsurprising.

okay, I’ve put this off for long enough.

oh the noodle texture is particularly slimy. and...huh.

on their own, the noodles taste like nothing. maybe some milk taste, but not much otherwise. but when I get a bite that has lots of seeds in it, I definitely taste them! and some bits of onion, too.

it’s not outright disgusting though, so that’s something

does it taste like an everything bagel? no. it tastes like noodles with caraway, poppy, sesame, onion, and salt.

does the sauce taste like cream cheese? disappointingly, no! it’s got a milky creaminess, but no sour tang to it at all!

weirdly, I feel like if it did have that sourness, it might taste more like an everything bagel.

speaking of...

it’s time for some science

so the first thing I have is popcorn that’s supposed to be everything-bagel-and-cream-cheese flavored. my sibling gave me this specifically for this experiment, so everyone say thank you to them for enabling me.

interesting! this doesn’t taste bad. it still doesn’t taste like bagel (and actually hold on...no, the popcorn on its own doesn’t taste like bagel either, just garlic) but I think the flavoring on the popcorn has added some much-needed taste to the noodles, and so it mildly improves it. three stars

next for the cream cheese

oh, significantly improved! ...or maybe I just love cream cheese. it adds such a nice tangy creaminess to it, and balances out the spices and seeds. four stars.

still tastes nothing like a bagel, though.

and so we try: packaged everything bagel seasoning!

ah. this was a lateral move. the seasoning on its own tastes good, but when added to the noodles it does nothing but make it a bit more salty. one star.

so now, I have to reveal to you. that I have one final trick. one last thing I can do to attempt to make these noodles taste like an everything bagel.

behold: an everything bagel

(and it’s a fancy one too! not a pre-packaged one! it’s even got sunflower seeds on it!)

I’m going to try a couple bites without cream cheese, and then I’m gonna add cream cheese and try that

...

hmm...

conclusion: this was a waste of a good everything bagel

I liked the cream cheese variation better, simply because I stopped being able to taste the noodles at all. five stars!

so when I started out I said the noodles themselves were not outright disgusting, but I’ve changed my mind. after tasting this really good actual everything bagel, these noodles do disgust me. partially because of their flavor, but more because of their (and Nissin's) moral integrity.

how dare they claim that this is what an everything bagel tastes like. this is an insult to bagels everywhere, and I find it truly offensive.

...anyway I guess I’m gonna go eat the rest of this now, because this is my actual breakfast today.

welp.

oh god. and I still have two more of these cup noodles! I forgot; I bought extras just in case!

wish me luck -_-

#food crimes #cup noodles #everything bagel #everything bagel ramen #long post #food

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notmorbid · 1 month ago

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the americans: season 1.

dialogue prompts from season one of fx's the americans.

is your mom a good cook?

nobody really wears cowboy boots anymore.

do you play at all?

don't you worry about god?

weed burns my throat.

you don't have a family, do you?

do you want to talk about it?

i don't lie to you. i never have.

that's all you want to say?

i take it you're the guy i'm supposed to talk to.

how dare you? was it just to get back at me?

i was just trying to do right by you.

no point in going to bed.

it never really happened that way for us, did it?

i've heard so much about you.

i think we'll do great things together.

we manage fine on our own.

i try not to think about it too much, but today was hard.

you don't look like a burglar.

are you trying to get me killed? is that what you want?

what if you were followed?

one mistake. that's all it takes.

you think you understand everything so much better than i do. why?

i fit in just fine, but i remember where i came from.

history repeats itself, so you do have to worry about it.

how worried do we need to be?

you have to rely on yourself in this world, do you hear me? only yourself.

you never talk to me. why is it so hard?

it just doesn't feel like it did before.

i won't tell if you won't.

i feel like i'm standing on a diving board over a pool with no water in it.

i think we're both a little lonely.

i hope we'll be able to meet again.

i don't need you to fight my battles for me.

you are not my daddy.

you can't wait for the law to give you your rights. you have to take them. you have to claim them every second of every day.

you know what i wish before i fall asleep every night? that i'll wake up and not be worried.

everything that happens is my fault.

coincidence is god's way of winking at you.

i know where you are. i've lived it.

you already did it. there's no undoing it.

you think i owe you an apology.

i'm sorry i didn't kill you.

i don't make vows i can't keep.

i'll keep you safe.

you know, i envy you.

we'll disappear together, and they will never find us.

i was afraid you wouldn't come.

run. disappear. go where they'll never find you.

i missed you. i didn't want to.

i want us to be able to say what's true.

i don't think i should have gotten you into this.

i'm here because this is where i want to be.

i was thinking about when we first met. do you remember that?

we can get past this. it doesn't have to be like this.

we didn't take a vow to be unhappy.

you're kidding, right? i mean, this is a joke, isn't it?

i've waited my whole life for you.

i'd do anything for you. anything. all you have to do is ask.

just tell me one thing: is this real?

it's alright. it's over. the hard part's over.

i didn't want this to happen, but it happened.

things just got a little crazy, you know?

you got anything salty? pretzels or nuts or something?

you can't be married and not have secrets.

i don't see a lot of future in my sleep tonight.

you do not get to speak to me like that.

i may look dumb, but i'm not.

the world is a lot darker and a lot uglier than i think you know.

find somebody that'll love you for being so strong.

we all die alone. before that, we make choices.

to being free and easy.

what's a four letter slang word that finishes the sentence, "do you wanna ____?"

do you care about anything? do you love anyone?

not everyone is your enemy.

i admire your predictability. it's comforting.

there's nothing more satisfying than finding another loner to be alone with.

believing in people isn't easy for you, is it?

you really believe all that, don't you?

we see what we need to see in people. things that aren't really there.

i made a pro and con list.

i know you better than you know yourself.

you always did insist on the truth.

come home.

#rp memes #sentence starters #ask memes #rp meme #inbox memes #tv meme #thriller meme #action #historical meme #romance meme #SORRY BUT LIKE. A LOT OF THE PROMPTS. WELL. YOU SEE

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weaselle · 2 months ago

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i seem to always have a comfort drink. Like my baseline comfort drink is coffee -- even when i've been homeless and in the rain, or derailed mid travel plan and stuck in place with no idea what to do, if i can get a cup of coffee, i can have some small amount of feeling okay and like i have agency in my fate.

But coffee is just the baseline, i usually have some other drink that occupies the top spot of the day (actually more like of the month or season)

Not so much this winter but the two winters before this, my comfort drink was actually just any spicy broth (i particularly liked spicy shrimp like the ramen packets but without the noodles and i'd add a bunch of sriracha - like, a LOT a lot - or a broth made from chicken stock but proper simmered the chicken bones for a few hours stock, also with a bunch of hot sauce or cayenne)

Right now my comfort drink is a cup of this tea

with a packet of this

but you don't have to use the whole packet, you just use it as sweetener and add basically as much as you would add sugar or honey - i usually add about half a packet and it's still pretty sweet, tonight i wanted something as sweet as hot chocolate, so i used the whole packet, and it is hitting *chef's kiss* but i'm not always in the mood for so much sweet

with the tea bag, not only is the drink more delicious than the apple cider alone when using the whole packet of cider, but you never thin out the spiced flavor of the apple cider too much to taste good, because you've got the spice base sorted already, so you can really control the sweetness to your liking without sacrificing flavor.

I've also quite enjoyed the same thing with this tea

as well as liking it with a lemon zinger and a black "chai" which in the states seems to mean black tea with like, pumpkin pie spices (you know, allspice, clove, cinnamon and i always put a little ginger in my pumpkin pies too, anyone else?)

there's probably at least a dozen other teas in any big grocery store that would go good with apple cider too.

Hot Chocolate?

For that i go straight to the spice drawer. Start by making sure you include some milk or half and half or something, if microwaving you can mix half a mug of water and half of whole milk, or you can do like 1/4 mug of half&half or cream and just mix it with the water and mic it. That's where i'm coming from i'm not talking super gourmet by any means. But for all the gods' sake put some milk, even rice milk or almond milk or coconut milk in there to give your hot chocolate some bones.

Sorry, i mean if you just use water the hot chocolate will always feel too thin and unsatisfying, and you'll find you're trying to fix it by adding more and more of the powder until it almost becomes a syrup and then the chocolate taste is a bit strong by then. But if you have a cup of fats and proteins and natural sugars and things to start as your base, you get a drink that feels big and thick and rich and filling the way hot chocolate in your fantasy is. Or whatever, i don't know you, maybe you like watery thin hot chocolate as a hydrating drink while playing ice hockey or something who knows. Personally, sometimes i'll just straight up use a mug full of half & half or use a bunch of heavy cream if i'm feeling particularly decadent.

regardless, what i recommend is: you grab your instant cocoa powder of choice, and before you put it in your preferred liquid you mix at least a couple of these other powders into it.

a dash of cinnamon a sprinkle of nutmeg a dusting of powdered ginger a bit of ground cayenne a pinch of salt

You can do it per mug or you can premix your whole canister of hot chocolate.

For me, the cayenne and salt are mandatory. Huge difference, the salt really plays up the chocolate flavor and while ideally you probably don't actually taste the salt, but even if you put in enough that it's a little salty, the effect is like salted caramel. Like, sometimes i do it on purpose. And cayenne and chocolate is just one of my favorite combinations ever. So.

BUT! i've also had good results starting with a mug of whole milk and brewing in a bag of something like this

before adding plain instant hot chocolate (and l little bit of salt)

anyway, my little drink recipe fiddles

#tea #hot chocolate #apple cider #hot drinks #comfort food #comfort drinks #beverages

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abbysimsfun · 2 months ago

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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 107 (The Old Man at the Salty Paw)

"I was starting to think I'd made you up, but a friend of mine said he thought you might be the old keeper of the Brindleton Light."

"I hate that name, but I love that lighthouse," he said. "I haven't had a reason to leave the island in over a century and a half, but when you showed up in town I got excited!"

"So why only come out once, then never again? My friend said I should try talking to you, but...I hadn't worked up to it yet."

"I can relate; never thought much of ghosts myself, when I was alive. I stayed away because I don't like being around people much, and you've been occupied with more important matters. I know they still occupy your mind, but I heard you on the phone the other night and thought I better not let you think you've lost your mind."

"Thanks a lot...So what is it you've been waiting to tell me, Ben?"

"I'd love to talk about many things with you, but the main reason I've been waiting to talk is because of my dog, Captain Whitaker. You met him the other night."

Conrad shook his head in disbelief. "Felix is good. He thought you were the lighthouse keeper, and I wondered... The ghost was your dog."

"He was my best - my only - friend in the world. When I died, he was still a young dog, and he was cheated of a happy life with a loving human because my time came without warning."

"Legend says he stayed to watch over the lighthouse long after you were gone."

Ben nodded. "That, and I was there. I've been waiting for a Gordon to come back to the bay for a century and a half. Cap's happy enough, but I know he wants to stay. He wants a family, and he smelled a good one on you and your girl when you did your unmentionable dance in the lighthouse. Both times."

Conrad blushed. "We've got a full house, busy lives, rambunctious kids - is he sure we're the right family for him? Does he like cats?"

"Captain Whitaker knows we're related. He smells it, and he knows what he wants. I think he knows you have the ambrosia treats to bring him back, too. He's always had a great sniffer!"

Conrad considered this, but Ben could tell he wasn't quite convinced. "If you're not ready to bring him home, we'll keep waiting, but it's been a long afterlife for me. I'm just about ready to pass to the Netherworld, but I won't go until I know the Captain will be happy."

"What else did you want to talk about? If you can leave the island and make it over here to the pier, I don't suppose you saw anything the night we found a body?"

"I heard about it back at the lighthouse because people love to gossip just as much as they did in my day, but I try to stay away from anywhere the Brindletons like to be."

Conrad nodded. "So they've always been unpopular, huh."

"They were rotten to the core in my day. There were rumours they didn't even found the town they put their name on, but that's from before my time." A memory pushed a laugh beyond his long mustache. "As a boy, George Brindleton liked to come out to the isle with his friends and chase seals. The Captain and I scared him so badly one night, he never left his fishing boat whenever any of his crew came to the island."

Inside the bar, Johnny toasted his wife while Heather looked around for Conrad. He'd been outside so long, Hazel and Nicola had left in a huff, arguing as they threw on their coats and walked out the back door. (The really left out of nowhere while I focused on Conrad and Ben. 😐)

With drink in hand, she spotted him standing outside by the patio tables and excused herself. Stepping into the snowy night, she heard him talking, but no one else was there. "Conrad, are you alright?" she called.

"I'm fine. I'm just talking to the old man." He stood to introduce them as Heather approached his picnic table, but he turned back around with a start. The old man - Ben - had disappeared.

"Where?" she asked with a smile, but as it dawned on her, her expression turned to concern. "So, he's definitely a ghost?"

He nodded. "Definitely a ghost. He's the old lightkeeper. According to Felix, he's also a great-great-great uncle of mine. Or something. But we're related, I guess."

"Wow! And you thought you didn't have any family after you lost your parents."

Conrad bristled. He understood relativity, but family was something else. Family was the people he'd do anything for, but he'd pushed off Ben Gordon twice, already. "He wants us to revive his old dog, take him home with us. He's waiting for his best friend to find a family before he'll pass on, and apparently Captain Whitaker picked us the first time we went to the lighthouse."

"That's the dog's name? Captain Whitaker? King Tut, Mayor Whiskers, Queen Cupcake - you know what I think."

"That I should have revived and adopted Captain Whitaker the night me and Gord first met him?"

She grinned. "I love strays. They're my weakness!"

He smiled. "I know you always have time for strays, but I don't feel right bringing home a new pet with everything we're dealing with lately. I'd want to be able to give him time to to get adjusted, train him a bit..."

"I get it. The clinic will pick up again after the new year and I'd want to be able to give him all my time, too. Should we make a deal?"

"What deal?"

"After you find Ximena and her brother and this is all behind us, we'll head out to Deadgrass Isle and bring Captain Whitaker home."

He smiled, glancing at the overcast sky as thick snowflakes fell on the patio umbrella above their heads. "You have a deal."

Heather followed his gaze skyward, snuggling against his shoulder to combat the cold, coastal wind. "It's almost midnight. Did you want to go back inside for the countdown? Hazel and Nicola left early, and I want to get back to Lavender and my parents soon."

Watching the cloud form in front of his face as he breathed through the chilly night air, he nodded and followed her inside. They found Johnny and Eva gathered in front of the television with other patrons, counting down as the ball dropped in San Myshuno.

Heather and Conrad joined in late, though Heather gave it more enthusiasm than he did. He thought he'd feel relief when he'd finally solved one mystery, but celebrating this one still felt conditional.

He checked his phone, just in case a dispatch had come that might answer his fears. He wouldn't be able to enjoy solving the mystery of the old man and his unfinished business until Ximena was behind bars and he'd found Rafa.

Back at home, they found Lavender sleeping peacefully in her crib while Neal and Daisy flirted in the living room. Heather glanced at Conrad, hoping for 30 years of happiness with him, just like her parents.

Knowing they were safely back home, Neal and Daisy went to bed in the upstairs guest room, and Heather snuggled next to Conrad until they fell asleep. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

#sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 screenshots #sims 4 legacy #sims in bloom #ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #ts4 screenshots #sims 4 story #ts4 story #legacy challenge #sims legacy #ts4 legacy challenge #gen 2 #brindleton bay #eva capricciosa #johnny zest

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butterabrod · 11 months ago

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Old Michelle's Q&A, pt.5

I guess I've been loitering about this for too long

I've always thought of Nevy as of one of the smartest and cuning demons in the cast. Instead of terrorising her vessel or beign their doormat, she formed a strong bond with Gil. And I was thinking it is genuine somewhat mother (or like older sister) love from Nevy to our lil salty blue boy.

But... from this panel, I've started to doubt her.

Most of the fandom at that time was worring that the pink lady is becoming weaker and/or growing sick. But even then I was thinking that being the ghost of one of the strongest creatures in the universe, how is it possible for her to be that weak for such a short period of time as like ~13ish years?

Gil is the only person she has met who can interact with her. I can't really blame her for beign pushy: he and his promise to help are the only thing she's got, and she as practically immortal being has seen how weak he is, and his life is short. Nevy really is on a timer with him.

But what seemed to me as her caring about Gil, now feels like Nevy thinking only about herself.

Gil, as a victim of terrible catastrophe decided to become a doctor to help others like him. It was natural for him to go and help those who were in need.

Now this moment doesn't feel like her genuine sadness and guilt. I think, she just needed a reassurrence, that she is still the most important thing for him in the whole universe.

Still, I've thought that Nevy has developed a new more honest and loving personality while being amnisiac. And she changed that much because she remembered a lot of her past.

But did she?

Did she, thought?

I think Gil will never get out of toxic cult. Yes, he does have someone who is more important than TITAN as Michelle said.

It's Nevy, who's not only a politician.

She IS priestess

And she's not ashamed at all to use religious imagery to influence Gil even more.

She's not ashamed to show a very lonely orphan boy that she, his only friend with mother figure vibes could 'die painfully' because of his disobedience

When one of the most assholic couples in the universe says that someone is not trustworthy - it is says volumes

Talking about couples. I think that Gil has no chances to not to fall for Odin

Also I find it sus that Nevy remembered the feeling of beign in love not near Ava, Wrathia's vessel, but near Pedri's vessel, Odin.

I'm sure she sees herself as the God of love, Venus, Aphrodite or even Eros. People of Antiquity era believed that love and passion were forms of madness. In a bad way, even gods feared Eros.

And I think she's forcing Gil to fall in love with Odin just to make him even more despirate and lonely, to save her status as the only reliable thing for him in the whole Universe.

At that point Gil was trying to become the best follower, just to have a chance to learn somethig about Nevy's past. Maggie was the first person in 8 years to remind him, that he might have his own questions.

And I think Nevy has already failed her vibe check to Odin

Here is a list of much-much-much better theories and their authors

@biofluxitecovetess https://www.tumblr.com/biofluxitecovetess/182904787000/hello-everyone-i-have-another-theory-so-before?source=share

@crazyangrycupcake https://www.tumblr.com/crazyangrycupcake/183163318965/nevy-makes-this-face-when-she-tells-ava-shes?source=share

@doublethetheories https://www.tumblr.com/doublethetheories/184836709578/gils-dream-dissection?source=share

And another thing to think about

#ava's demon #avas demon #webcomic #webtoon #gil #gil marverde #Nevy #nevy nervine #odin #odin arrow #pedri #pedri nanezgani #wrathia #wrathia bellarmina

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fountainpenguin · 6 months ago

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Any tips for writing Cosmo? I'm struggling a bit with writing him and I'd thought I'd ask you since I enjoy your characterization of him (and while im here, who is the hardest fop character for you to write?)

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy my take on Cosmo! He's got a pretty messed-up backstory in my works and I enjoy him :)

?? In the editor, my pics are arranged "a reasonable way" - next to each other, multiple in a line - but in the queue, they're... standalone, and thus a huge mess. I'm so sorry. I hope it doesn't post that way.

Talkin' Cosmo

This post talks a lot about Cosmo in my 'fics, and I have other Cosmo inspo resources at the bottom if you're interested. I'll give some brief notes before deep-diving into what I've done with him.

Cosmo has his clumsy moments, but he's a very good and protective dad! And that's very important to me.

"Mission Responsible," "For Emergencies Only," "Super Zero," "Farm Pit"

He's here for the fun AND the disciplining! He's on top of both! He's trying to equally protect Foop as much as Poof despite their past grievances! He took a laser for his son in "Playdate of Doom"!! D:

Also, Cosmo in "Formula For Disaster" - I will take a grenade or bullet for everyone in this room. Please let me take a bullet for you.

What is UP with Wanda's multi-season one-sided beef with Foop? lmao. He's always polite to her (Calling her Auntie Wanda compared to Uncle Idiot & tolerating her grabbing his collar and yelling in his face). Who would have beef with a baby who's always apologizing and saying thank you? sdklfjsdfj... (Kick his butt, Wanda) Cosmo's seemingly fine with him and even asked for Foop's business card, but Wanda does not like him. Foop brought Timmy some food he's proud he made and she put him to sleep "until his true love kisses him" without telling him that was the condition of the caramel apple she handed him, and then she told the camera that they were all going to live happily ever after... savage... Girl, that is not very "You have to learn how to forgive people after they try to destroy you" of you. Rules for thee, not for me... I love her, but that's really funny. Cosmo's pretty chill with him. I do not think Foop's relationship with Anti-Cosmo is particularly good. Like??? idk why I'm even asking what's up with her beef- It IS canonically Wanda who wants to kill Timmy's parents (S4's "Fairy Friends and Neighbors," plus she nearly kills Mrs. Crocker in S9's "Fairly Old Parent" and only stops because Timmy warns her he's "not going back to jail with her"), but... Wanda, he's a toddler.

Also, Cosmo even adjusts his body language sometimes because he's trying to copy and improve!! Love that for him!!")

"Mission Responsible"

Shout-out to Cosmo in "School of Crock" smiling and tearing up affectionately when he thinks Poof came out to him... regarding Poof "wanting to marry a cat") and he states that he's both accepting and proud of him. This is not what Poof said, but it's the thought that counts.

Cosmo, they could never make me listen to "He's a deadbeat dad" slander <3

He has his lapses in judgment, but he cares deeply about both Poof and Timmy and works hard to be a good parent to them (and later Chloe too), send post.

The other thing you need to know about Cosmo is that he is SALTY as ALL HECK. But... he plays it in a way that I'd call plausible deniability (considering the "dumb" persona he's set himself up with).

Ex: Cosmo has strong feelings about Timmy's parents (He goes into a panic in "Sooper Poof" because "Those two have no idea how to raise a child!" but he usually keeps that on the downlow. I said above that Cosmo seems chill with Foop, but it's worth noting that he spends an excessive amount of time "trying to get a sprite off Foop" at the end of "Spellementary School" by slamming him with a frying pan, and he says words that imply he's playing dumb about it... Interesting...

Cosmo's way of treating people is very different from Wanda grabbing Foop by the collar and screaming in his face, or cheerfully announcing her plan to put him in handcuffs, or when she slapped Juandissimo in the face with her purse in "Stupid Cupid," or (although I don't consider very-late-series Juandissimo to be an accurate portrayal of his character) when she shoved him in "Fairy Con" and snapped that if he didn't back off, she'd "kick him in the butt-issimo."

Wanda intimidates, presumably because Big Daddy raised her that way. Funnily enough, Mama Cosma also tends to use intimidating (Ex: Being outright mean to Wanda, kidnapping Wanda's dad) to the point that she seemingly spooks H.P. and Anti-Cosmo enough to make them back down when she takes Poof from them. but Timmy straight-up grabs her by the collar and yells in her face, and I think that's funny.

Words cannot explain how funny it is to me that neither Cosmo nor Anti-Cosmo are fans of direct confrontation... but Cosmo handles it by getting up close to bother you, pushing the envelope, and Anti-Cosmo will run away. Ex: "When Nerds Collide" - A.C. pours salt on Jorgen's shoes, tells Anti-Wanda he'll be back for her, then scampers off with a look of terror on his face. This man will only taunt you if you're locked away or he has back-up. He's very easily spooked.

Anti-Cosmo when one fairy (Jorgen) stands between him and his wife: PEACE OUT, BABE!

Cosmo when his family's in genuine danger:

Cosmo does not like head-on confrontation if it can be avoided, as he's much more into mind games or distraction tactics (like suggesting Jorgen scramble the fairies, or showing Jorgen a slideshow presentation to stall for time).

Anti-Cosmo always opts for running over fighting (Literally all his episodes except "Oddlympics," which is the only episode where no one threatens him directly unless you count Cupid poofing up angry cheetahs, which... fair) or else he just plain shuts down ("Fairly Odd Baby" & "Anti-Poof" are good examples).

LOVE his streak of looking confused in the background when he doesn't want to speak up. He's always a little nervous and I think it's funny. Even if you break into his house, he won't even yell at you. You can just do it...

Cosmo 🤝 Anti-Cosmo

Big "I don't know what I'm doing" energy

They just cover it with opposite personas... Anti-Cosmo pretends he knows everything and Cosmo pretends to know nothing.

One of my favorite scenes truly showcases Cosmo's saltiness. In "Jerk of All Trades," he offers to show Juandissimo to the room he can stay in (after Juandissimo loses his corporate housing)...

... and promptly throws him in the freezer. Hey, what??

Keep an eye out for scenes where Cosmo seems smug, because those tend to be the best examples of his plausible deniability / clever subtleties

The beef Cosmo and Juandissimo have with each other cracks me up... I like the OG canon that Juandissimo is terrified of Cosmo. In an early script for "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" (linked), he straight-up says Cosmo is the only one he's afraid of because he's a "warrior" and "a cunning and calculating foe." Like ??? Excuse me?

-> Part of this did make it into the final version with Juandissimo whining to Remy that he's "lucky to be alive" after Cosmo almost turned his hand into a fist! Why is Juandissimo always flaunting his muscles but then he'll whine that Cosmo spooks him... sdlkfj.

- My secret headcanon is that Juandissimo was once witness to Cosmo losing control (as Cosmo is confirmed in multiple episodes to be extremely powerful and dangerous) and he realized then and there that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of that fury. But nobody ever believes him that Cosmo is scary, so he just cringes and whines in the background.

"Bird Song" (Florence and the Machine) is one of my Cosmo inspo songs for that reason.

Also, I live for the scene in "Super Zero" where Cosmo is holding Chet Ubetcha (whom he was taking to find his car) while Chet reports about how Cosmo is a terrible superhero...

... so Cosmo straight-up says "There's your car" and drops him into a volcano. Incredible. No notes. Saltiest boy in the world. It plays rent-free in my head...

He can be salty for a variety of reasons, but it seems to flare up especially when he's being territorial of his family or space

[Very long post (11k words from here) - Click at own discretion]

Major Cloudlands AU story spoilers up to where we are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it.

So... Let's get detailed!

[Basic overview, cnt'd from above; the spoiler bits come later]

Cosmo is a mama's boy! We know that pretty well from canon; it's one of his most obvious traits. However... he won't leave Wanda for her (as much as his mother antagonizes him).

- He's VERY loyal to Mama Cosma, to the point of sneaking her into his and Wanda's underwater castle in "Hassle in the Castle" and not telling Wanda about it.

- I think "Presto Change-O" and "Odd Squad" showcase his attachment well- He's reasonably concerned for her and very caring, but he's clearly living his own life at home.

- When he darts out on Timmy in the former episode, he first assures Timmy that when he and Wanda are back, they'll "all do something really fun and magical together." After Mama Cosma recovers from her 9-hour flu, he doesn't make Wanda wait around and takes the lead in getting them out of there (with a cheerful good-bye to his mom).

Context: My Cloudlands AU 'fics strive to be "as canon as possible," and I'm particularly proud of a scene I wrote in "I Just Live Here" where Foop reflects on family relations (and we see evidence of Cosmo and Wanda's relationship straining due to insults):

Once he came clean about his marriage to a damsel she couldn't stand, Mama Cosma couldn't keep her hands out of his life. She threads her son's mind with all sorts of poisoned commentary and doesn't seem to feel a smidgen of remorse. Like… wow. I lie, cheat, and manipulate people too, but when I try to imagine my own mother fighting tooth and nail to split me apart from my friends, that just seems unnecessarily cruel. It's weird. I know my auntie has done her best to tolerate it (holding her tongue and temper in a way that even I admire), but once when I was lurking around Timmy Turner's house before he came home from school, I heard she and my uncle break into a fight. Well… More of a scolding, really. After three or four minutes of listing her grievances against Mama Cosma, Auntie Wanda simply burst into tears. "I can't go to her house anymore. I can't keep going to these fancy lunches in Fairy World. But I worry all the time that if I don't go, you won't come back to me. Mama Cosma can really stick her hooks in you. I just don't feel like you respect me anymore, Cosmo, or like you believe living with me is an improvement over being a mama's boy and staying all day in your childhood bedroom. I need your support when she bears into me. Can you do that?" "I'll try to be better," was his response, stunned and shaky. I'd felt that way myself, curiosity getting the better of me as I floated as near to the window as I dared, my ear pressed against the wall. I could hear my uncle's fingers fiddling with his tie, wrapping the fabric around and around his wrist. "I don't know, Wanda… She's my mama. I know she can be a little harsh sometimes, but she's just getting a little old and cranky. She wouldn't do anything to really hurt me…" "She's been flinging insults at me for years." "… This is real? It's not all just some smart people test about sarcasm or irony or hidden underlying meanings? I'm not good at picking up clues, Wanda… You know that." Then, more quietly, "I'll try… It's just that sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with what's going on. I never feel like I'm in on the joke, and then when I finally am, it's like everyone thinks it isn't funny anymore. And what's more confusing is that sometimes, people say something I thought was kind of mean and everybody laughs, but then other times, everybody gets real quiet and uncomfortable. It's really hard for me to figure out the difference before the words are out of my mouth. And I don't always know there's something wrong unless it's explained to me with puppets or words… but I'll try. Can you keep being patient with me, even when I mess things up all over again?" "Every time, Cosmo. I love you… SO much…" Well. That had been an awkward thing to overhear. But I know why they had that discussion when they thought they were alone in private. I don't blame my auntie and uncle for trying to keep the trials of their marriage away from their son and two godkids. They're doing what they can to provide stability. My own parents could likely learn a thing or two from them. My father shouts a lot when he's upset, and my mother often floats there and takes it, not saying a word. I've overheard breaking plates and sometimes the frustrated pounding of a hand against the wall, but… Well.

I really like this scene because I think it's a good balance of Cosmo being insensitive, but at least somewhat justified in his confusion and misunderstanding ("But... you also say mean things to me" and/or "People think it's funny and I don't always get when it isn't"). It allows me to treat their bickering as canon while also showing them working things out in the background.

It's got Wanda standing up for herself and Cosmo wanting to be better... and I like my set-up of them talking where they know Timmy wouldn't hear, and Foop's just flat-out eavesdropping. Makes me laugh. Everyone here is spot-on, imo.

"Crocker of Gold" is an episode I like for Cosmo's misunderstandings- That's the one where he dresses as a leprechaun and Crocker catches him and demands gold, so Cosmo takes gold from real leprechauns and leaves them a note. They're upset with him, and both Timmy and Wanda are shocked he left a note. Cosmo claims it would've been rude not to. He generally is following a social script... it just might not match the circumstances he's in. I like to think that he skates through life trying to be polite, salty, under the radar, or playing dumb. Those things have gotten him this far in life, so he defaults to them. -> I showed a screenshot earlier of Cosmo changing his body language to match Wanda's. I don't think it's common for him to want to learn new things or change his behavior, but he's all-in at being a good dad and tends to mimic what he sees Wanda do. He follows role models. -> Jorgen is clearly his role model in "Cosmo Rules," since Cosmo also opts for a military get-up while defending Da Rules despite that not being required (Juandissimo didn't) -> In "Oh, Brother," Cosmo lists things that a brother can do for you- Drive a getaway car, lend you bail money - which he's probably saying because his older brother is a con artist. -> In "Something's Fishy," he even mimics Schnozmo's catchphrase: saying "Two words!" followed by something that's not two words. Hilariously, both of these happened in Season 5- Long before Schnozmo was introduced in Season 7. -> And by that logic, it's not surprising Cosmo can be rude and speak his mind a lot since Mama Cosma and Schnozmo are both known for that. Heck, Cosmo gets under Juandissimo's skin in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by mimicking him, and it was his own idea to do so.

Notably, in Poof's POV section of this same story, he says he and his dad visit Mama Cosma's without Wanda, and shares this:

When I'm with the Cosma side of my family, Mama Cosma lets me put my feet up on the furniture if I want to. I definitely can't do that at my granddad's because my nonna would have a fit. Mama Cosma doesn't care if I eat in the living room, even on her couch while we look at old scrapbooks of my dad and Uncle Schnozmo when they were kids (Plus old yearbooks of her and Papa Cosma… but my papa died when my dad was only two, so I never got to meet him). There's definitely… a weird vibe at Mama Cosma's prim and frilly little house, though. She loves my dad and he'll usually spend the whole visit with me when we go, but my own mama won't set foot anywhere near my grandmother's house anymore. When I was a baby I didn't really get it, but then I learned to read and figured out why. Mama Cosma frosts all her cookies so they say my mother's name with large Xs or strike symbols through them… or if not that, then symbols of raging fire. I feel really bad not eating her cookies because she always works so hard on them and they taste so good, but I feel like I'm betraying my mama when I do. My dad gets quiet and evasive about it, but… he just tells me not to worry. He says I can do what I want, and that if I don't want to eat them, he isn't going to force me. So there's that. I've seen my dad get confrontational before, but he's usually pretty tame around my grandma. I brought up the cookies to my mama once and she tersely said we'd "talk about it when I was older." So I asked Timmy while we were filling out coloring books and he told me everything. Mama Cosma can't stand my mama… Timmy says it's because my mom "took away her little boy" by marrying her, which is what led him to move out of her house and into a new place with my mom. It's weird. There's a nagging feeling in my gut that makes me suspect that's not the whole story. I'm not even sure I want the whole story, so… I guess I'll take my mama's word for it. She'll tell me "when I'm older."

They are brothers, your honor...

Mama Cosma is important to Cosmo. She may not like his wife, but she was also his sole caretaker for tens of thousands of years (knowing what we know about the war between Fairies and Anti-Fairies taking place 90k years ago, since "Balance of Flour" is its anniversary, and we know Cosmo and Wanda have only been together 10k years).

I like to think Cosmo wants Poof to know his grandma since Cosmo and Wanda were cut off for so long. Cosmo has a paternal grandpa on his canon family tree ("77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" - Grandpa Gonzo - but Cosmo lost his dad young and I don't think he's close to his grandfather.

Family's important to Wanda too - she's very close with her dad - and I think she and Cosmo both make sacrifices for each other's happiness and Poof's sake, even though it's hard on them both.

Again, I like to play Cosmo as a mama's boy trying to balance the complexities of his life... Allowing Wanda space away from his mother, but also letting Poof have the chance to meet his grandma, but also telling Poof that if he doesn't want to eat the I Hate Wanda cookies, he doesn't have to.

I also think it's worth nothing that Cosmo tried his dang hardest to be very positive about his pregnancy and childbirth.

- He had a lot of hormones messing with his mood (leading him to be confused when he batted Timmy into the basement while in bear form, then returned to fairy form and couldn't find him), but he was super grateful for his pregnancy (Handled his morning sickness without disgust & we see him apologize for inconveniencing Timmy several times). - He didn't even resent Timmy for snapping at him and telling him to get lost, which is nice since Cosmo has a history of petty grudges. During his contractions, he's the one telling Timmy and Wanda to remain calm and to enjoy "this beautiful moment." - Even while actively giving birth and clearly in a lot of pain, he insisted childbirth was a wonderful experience (fighting for a smile through his tears, his eyes red around the edges as he held and rubbed his belly... Doin' his BEST to get through it). - I think it's interesting how positive he was since sometimes he can be very pessimistic (Ex: "End of the Universe-ity" when he points out that "Fairy powers are totally lame and limited and will last 5 more years, tops" compared to Dark powers).

I have to showcase Cosmo's happy moment followed by /double blinks in confusion as his newborn is taken from him.

Every one of these faces is precious... He's a daddy! Thank goodness he has his precious baby! His hair is still extra ruffled from his stress and strain! He's in his hospital gown! His baby is his world! His godkid is delighted, and Cosmo is so happy to have his two boys in his life! ... oh no. help him.

Does Cosmo have his feet spread under the blankets the same way Peri, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda all spread their feet in A New Wish to support heavy books? That's funny... He has a big baby in his lap...

I think... that covers my overview of How I Suggest Writing Cosmo In General:

- Mama's boy who's thoughtful, salty, a good dad, and doing his best to keep his marriage together because he loves his wife (although he does struggle to find the line for his teasing). He's not big on confrontation, though he'll stand up for his family when push comes to shove. - He does get jealous, but he and Wanda BOTH admit to having crushes outside their relationship; I don't think it's entirely fair to judge Cosmo for his fantasies without also judging Wanda, who's equally blatant in multiple episodes and has very questionable interests. I like to think they both know the other wouldn't really go for anyone else, though I do agree I'm not the biggest fan of these jokes. - He loves both Timmy and Poof. I didn't touch much on Timmy in this post since it's long and there are many good episodes of their dynamic (Timmy has a tendency to trust Cosmo and leap without looking). - Looks for role models to mimic. For better or worse, he grew up with Mama Cosma and Schnozmo, so he can be overbearing, sly, and rude. Loves his baby and his family very much. Very protective... Please let him take a grenade for them.

I think if I were to personally start my take on Cosmo from scratch, I'd ask this:

- What am I depicting Cosmo do? Who taught him this behavior? -> His mom was overprotective of him, so he probably read it in a book, got it from a kid at school, or picked it up form his mom or brother. - If it's none of these things... Why is he doing that action? (If he's older, maybe he got it from watching a godkid or reading a comic book). Is he following a social script from his culture? -> That's a good opportunity for worldbuilding. - He might've put in a lot of work, because something about the behavior is important to him (or was in his past). Since he's often associated with cars ("School's Out! The Musical" flashbacks, "Cosmonopoly," he's the car in "Odd Squad," his racecar bed in "Hassle In the Castle"), -> I've always imagined his car was the one thing he had that was truly his, and it represented freedom from his mom. After all, two episodes confirm he was driving in his younger years (and we know from "Transparents" that Wanda lacks experience)

These are good starting points if you're looking to develop a deep Cosmo portrayal with layers of backstory, though you can always keep it simple (especially for short one-shots).

I do think nailing down your interpretation of Cosmo's backstory is a critical aspect of deciding how you portray him in present day (as with any character). Everyone's vision of his story will be different, leading to their own take on Cosmo (and potentially Anti-Cosmo).

⭐ Here are some backstory jump-off points!

- "This Is Your Wish," "School's Out! The Musical," & "Cosmonopoly" are three episodes from the OG series episode covering the main story beats of Cosmo's backstory (Implied to have lost his dad young, grew up with his mom, forced into military school against his will, sunk Atlantis (9 separate times as of "Something's Fishy"), marrying Wanda). - "Double-Oh Schnozmo" debuts Cosmo's older brother, who clearly takes advantage of him. Schnozmo was off the radar enough that he didn't know Poof existed. Cosmo has great faith in and respect for his brother, and is heartbroken when he realizes Schnozmo took advantage of his trusting nature- There's a moment as he's talking through it that you can SEE the moment he breaks... That to me is quintessential Cosmo.

Cosmo, having just said "He must think I'm the biggest fool in the world!" and freezing up one beat before he hurls his ham into the forest and takes off to be alone... He knows. Their past, their fond memories... How much of it was real to Schnozmo? Does his brother even care for him? He splinters.

- Neither Cosmo's mom nor Wanda's dad knew their children were married until "Apartnership" and "Talkin' Trash" (respectively), though Blonda seemingly did in her debut. Cosmo implies at the end of "Talkin' Trash" that he wants to take over the Fairywinkle family business?? Also, it's heavily implied Big Daddy was going to let Cosmo stay with Wanda when Wanda moved home, and it's important to me...

- Speaking of family, Cosmo found out in "Cosmo Rules" he has von Strangle blood. In my canon, he trains to take over as Keeper of Da Rules after Jorgen after he leaves Timmy and Chloe (and it's probably something I'll carry for him to New Wish 'fics since he could be doing it in his godparent retirement era- especially since Jorgen's more mellow in New Wish). There's lots you can do with that!

- Anti-Cosmo was old enough to represent his people in a truce attempt during "Balance of Flour" (canonically 90k years pre-series, as it was the anniversary in that episode), heavily implying Cosmo and those older than him fought in this war.

- Cosmo claimed he never went to Spellementary School (in the episode of the same title), but in "Love Triangle," he confirms he had a role in the school play.

-> He becomes a "pageant parent" to Poof in this episode, hovering around him and making Poof run his lines over and over even though Poof is clearly uninterested (Wanda even using the words "You know Poof doesn't want to be in his school play"). He reminds me of his overbearing mama!

- "Truth or Cosmoquences" depicts Cosmo's high school years. Juandissimo claims he met Wanda during high school, they're confirmed to have dated, and Cosmo taunts Juandissimo in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by claiming he "lost his woman to an idiot."

-> Juandissimo is on good enough terms with Cosmo and Wanda that he attends, like, 5 different parties at their house in the OG series (including the baby shower Wanda's family didn't show up for) - I don't normally see people treat "Cosmonopoly" as canon, but I personally like it; I use the diner as the place Wanda started to fall for him since she wasn't very happy about being hit by his car. - Cosmo confirmed he designed his Cosmonopoly game to remind him of the day he met Wanda. He heavily implies he went to Pixie World to do his laundry that day (Pixie Woods is a location next to the laundromat). In my 'fics, I depict him sneaking out to get time for himself and using his laundry time to write his books. Funnily enough, Pixie World's laundromat was already established in my works even before this, because Rosencrantz works there. -> This potentially plays into the Pixies having Cosmo on their radar & Cosmo implying he met Sanderson sometime before "Pixies Inc." (i.e. he told Sanderson that if he "doesn't recognize him, it's probably the hat").

- Officially, Cosmo was designed with a 50s aesthetic. You could draw inspo by researching the 1950s. What hobbies or special events were popular?

- He's likely to have Megan Bacon trauma (a past godkid of his from "Past and the Furious"). Canonically, the past versions of Cosmo and Wanda are AWOL when Timmy looks for them in the past because they were hiding in her closet.

-> She's still alive (and fairly young) in present-day Dimmsdale, having gone on to open a notable restaurant seen in many episodes: the Cake 'N Bacon. In "Vicky Loses Her Icky," this restaurant was inexplicably across the street from Timmy's house.

-> Funnily enough, I don't think he really showed what I'd call "Vicky trauma" in the OG series, despite the fact she did mess with him. That's more of a New Wish thing, but I do think he had Megan trauma.

- In Season 5's "Hassle in the Castle," Cosmo and Wanda keep portraits of all their past godkids, including those they had poor relationships with (with these replicas of MaryAnn and Pierre specifically wanting revenge on them; MaryAnn claims they "deserted her."

Cosmo and Wanda instantly recognize MaryAnn when she's running around the castle, even though she killed Archduke Ferdinand and it's been a while since they've seen her. Even Cosmo? Who's not always the best with names? -> That said, we do know Cosmo snuck Mama Cosma into the castle in that episode and her door is down near the portraits. Him sneaking his mom in is a whole other can of worms. Also, they have Crocker's portrait in the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Infamy!

- And if you want to go all the way back to Season 0, Cosmo and Wanda claim in "The Zappys" that their godparenting career is "speckled with failures," which Cosmo seems sad to admit.

- In both the OG series and New Wish, Cosmo and Wanda have separate beds. Cosmo's is a racecar:

Hilariously, this is one of the episodes Wanda blatantly tells Cosmo she's daydreaming about Juandissimo. For all the bickering and irritation and "the ol' ball and chain" and "naggy wife" jokes... I do think it's funny that they're both completely open about having crushes on other people. Totally fair if people have a strong dislike for that part of their characterization, but I can't help but respect the sheer confidence and closeness they have to admit those things and that it won't ruin their relationship.

-> We know from "Stupid Cupid" that Cosmo finds Juandissimo hitting on Wanda annoying, but lets him flirt with Wanda because he keeps sending her food, which Cosmo eats because Wanda doesn't want.

-> Shout out to Cosmo in "Truth or Cosmoquences" when Juandissimo hit on Wanda and Cosmo instantly broke character from his façade as Britney Britney's husband and shoved himself between them... and then had to back down when Juandissimo innocently asked why he was so huffy about him merely asking for a dance with his unmarried secretary 🥺

Season 6's "Wishy Washy" gave us teen Cosmo and Wanda, where we see Cosmo with braces and a skateboard. He confirms to Timmy that at this point in his life, Wanda wasn't his type (because "he likes 'em with a little more swirl in the curl.")

I've always thought it was funny that Cosmo likes to say "swirly" when he's absentminded, like "Portals are swirly." Man's always thinkin' 'bout swirls...

I drew him and teen Anti-Cosmo once!

- After Cosmo started disguising his nose with magic ("The Boy Who Would Be Queen"), but before Anti-Cosmo chose to do the same. - Specifically, Cosmo went through a rebellious teen phase (slipping away from his mom to go play & later pick up a job at the diner, planning to buy a car himself). - Anti-Cosmo became excessively devoted to my zodiac-themed Anti-Fairy culture (He's wearing a shirt depicting the Fae zodiac & wearing bracelets to symbolize being born in the year of Water).

It's very important to me that teen Cosmo and Wanda refused to play along with Timmy until he uses reverse psychology on them by insisting they're not meant for each other. And that SNAPS them to attention... At their core, they've always had their rebellious streaks. They do not like being bossed around.

Honestly, if you're only going to pick one thing to focus on... I think the most critical detail to consider when writing Cosmo and Wanda is that they eloped without telling their parents. If you think about how they left their lives of being coddled behind for each other, you can take that anywhere.

Anti-Cosmo's backstory is pretty unknown, but you can use parts of Anti-Cosmo to build a take on Cosmo as well.

For example, Anti-Cosmo's mother might be very harsh to him since Mama Cosma coddles Cosmo. Or, you could argue his mother's completely absent from his life since Cosmo's is always around. I like to think she really wanted Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda to get married. I personally play her as both physically abusive and emotionally overbearing. Cosmo crushed on Wanda for a long time, but I really enjoy slow burn A.C./A.W. as they slowly move from being annoyed by or disgusted with each other to admiring, respecting, and loving each other. I gave Anti-Cosmo bipolar disorder (due to his extremely high-energy moments in "When Nerds Collide" (where he rapidly flies in a circle 13 times in a row while still talking... yes, I went frame by frame and counted) and "Balance of Flour" (where Anti-Cosmo was unable to sit still while in disguise and revealed himself in front of everyone by running off and laughing). In his other episodes, he's in a mild state. -> Fun Fact: Technically, Anti-Cosmo has a magical parallel of bipolar rather than what humans have, and he treats it by rubbing Fairy pheromones on his face. In-universe, Fairies consider him to have divus displacement disorder (D3) and consider him "a Fairy in an Anti-Fairy's body" while Anti-Fairies believe he was born with his soul intertwined with a nature spirit's (whom he called Clarice in his youth). A.C. has a habit of drifting near H.P., who has strong-smelling pheromones. Anyway... My Cosmo has depression - especially postpartum depression - as a parallel. He struggles with a lot of personal issues, especially regarding his magical strength (Ex: turning his dad into a fly as a baby, leading his dad to never be seen again in the series).

Here are detailed examples from the backstory I gave my Cosmo because... I like talking about him:

Cloudlands AU Cosmo - #ridspoilers

Major spoilers up to the end of where we currently are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it

I treat "77 Secrets of the Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" as canon, meaning Cosmo's deepest secret - that he's the author of Astrophysics For Morons and several other books - is something he has ISSUES telling people about... which I tie into "Wishology"'s canon of portraying stars as ancient Fairies.

Yeah... Cosmo writing stuff that his culture hates does not go well for him in my work :'D

Cosmo struggles a lot with his love of books, hence why this is a secret for him. In Cloudlands AU canon, Fairies tend to have a brawn over brains culture and Anti-Fairies a brains over brawn one; Mama Cosma sent him to military school against his will to try to push him towards the brawn culture.

During / after the war with the Anti-Fairies ("Balance of Flour"), Fairies weren't exactly charmed by brains or Anti-Fairy culture sympathizers, and Cosmo - who used to write political commentaries and kids' books that broke culture down in easy to understand ways - became an instant target, leading us to this scene:

"Let them come for me." Cosmo raised the point of his wand against his temple. "These memories are all that I have left. Look, it's simple. You don't want my insights on politics and religion leaking any further into the world, and I don't want you in my life ever again. So if you take one step forward, I'll blast them out here and now. You can tell Adelinda that you were left to scrape my time keys off the floor." "So I am the bad guy now? We've opened the castle for refugees like you! Art, history, all the science you could ask for… The charts, the maps!" Cosmo bobbed gently up and down, but otherwise didn't move. He didn't even blink, the wand still pressed thumb-deep into his head. "Yeah, right! You've von Strangled every scrap of success I ever had out of my hands. Why would this be any different?" A scowling Jorgen shifted forward then and Cosmo threw out a hand. "No further! Or I'll wipe my memories here and now!" Jorgen braced his staff against a jutting piece of the wall, leaning beside it with folded arms. "The revolutionaries are out there hunting for those who threaten society with radical ideas, Cosmo. Your stories of gas balls and tongue lashes towards the Council are the reason you've landed in their sights. You can burn your books, but erasing private memories hurts no one but yourself. Plus, I can still take you to the Pink Castle anyway. It seems a very foolish trade you are fighting to make." Cosmo narrowed his eyes. "But when you get me behind those walls, you're going to scramble my mind up anyway, right? Because you work for the Fairy Council? At least if I blast myself, then I don't let you get to have the satisfaction…"

"Repeat"

After this point, Cosmo started erasing his memories on the regular and became a lot more unstable and unhappy with himself.

That said, I do think the war helped give him a purpose, lifting him a bit from the depression of his younger years over missing his father. He finally felt like he had something worth fighting for and was making up for the harm he caused, now out there protecting his people.

It's around this point in time that Cosmo - looking for a new career and now a smidgen more confident in himself (and looking for a new passion in life) - switched to the godparenting major, where he ended up doing a trial program with Wanda for Erg.

Erg being the godkid they claimed to have 50k years ago in an episode where they're celebrating their 10k years of being godparents, implying Erg was a special one-off case... Checks out since 50k years ago would've been well before they were married ("The Past and the Furious")

Cosmo grew increasingly infatuated with Wanda from here on out, and learning to be a godparent also kicked off his love for children.

I like to play Wanda as "better with" wish-themed playtime and adventures while little kids tend to think of Cosmo as "more fun" when they're playing with toys. He's pretty imaginative. I like to think Wanda's humor is high-brow and flies over little kid heads (Depending on their age). One of my favorite headcanons is that Cosmo owns a lot of toys and likes to leave one with each godkid. Probably a bunch of toys his mom gave him since she coddled and fawned over him so much, so he's rehoming them.

So /claps hands. We've set Cloudlands AU Cosmo up to want a baby. Can u see where this is going?

I personally treat the baby H.P. and Anti-Cosmo raised as 100% canon. I made him the counterpart of the candle model!

Here's some 2018 art, though I need to redraw / redesign now that my art skills have improved. Btw, I saw someone say they were sad this screenshot was fake, but :'D... I assure you, it's 100% real. It's in Jorgen's presentation of "Fairly Odd Baby" when he specifically uses the word "raised" to speak of Anti-Fairies and Pixies with children, and he shows this photo plus a flashing sign labeling H.P. specifically as "Bad," implying the kid has a connection to Anti-Cosmo in species, but H.P. was the real threat. I don't know why they drew H.P. with those glasses or added shading either, but it's real.

Let's talk Westley first! If you remember he's living with Blonda and showed up in "I Just Live Here..." congratulations! Poof slept in his room when he stayed with his Fairywinkle family for spring break that year.

He leans in to kiss me on both cheeks. I blink up at him, wide-eyed, and he pats my shoulder instead of ruffling my hair. Even though I have really, really ruffle-able purple hair, so I'm kind of glad he refrained (I don't like anyone but my parents and Timmy touching my hair, except I sometimes let Gary do it, and I really hate combing out the tangles). "Go back to sleep, cuginetto. We can talk more in the morning."

He was raised by Jorgen and Binky, specifically (playing into "Fairly Odd Baby" canon where Jorgen tries to take Poof from Cosmo and Wanda, telling them he'll raise him and will only let them visit him for one day every other millennium, plus Jorgen shows himself holding a baby in his slideshow presentation).

Binky dropped out of godparenting to be a stay-at-home caretaker for him on Jorgen's behalf.

Reminder: Binky and Jorgen are a gyne-drone pair. They don't live together, but they're basically in a QPR The Origin of the Pixies chapter "Inner Workings" is a good peek at their dynamic (back in the day), though H.P. refers to Binky by his surname (Abdul).

Westley is extremely bitter towards his bio parents and, while he respects Binky, doesn't particularly like him or Jorgen (or Cupid) as all three played a part in removing his chance at "a real family." He cut ties and changed his family name to Periwinkle.

AKA, before Poof was born, Westley went into modeling in Fairywood and Blonda took him under her wing. Blonda considers him a nephew

Poof looks up to him a lot names things after Westley - notably his egg baby in "Two and a Half Babies" - and that was canon in my work for years before A New Wish, sdkflj...

If I had a nickel for everyone in this family who changed their name to Periwinkle...

Frayed Knots is a 'fic about how Anti-Cosmo got to the point that he ended up with Talon - Westley's anti-fairy counterpart - and why H.P. is the one helping him raise him... Short answer? Anti-Cosmo wrecked his life for that child and a lot of people have issues with him because of it :'D But H.P. took him in...

Talon sneak peeks from late Frayed Knots!

“Yep. Talon, your dad’s out of it. Which is perfect, because that means I can do this.” H.P. clamped his hands around Talon’s waist and tossed him into the air. Talon squealed with surprise and apparent delight, and H.P. caught him when he came back down. “You are adorable. Oh yes you are, my Cú Chulainn. Yes you are.” “Again!” Talon cheered. “Nope.” There was a pat like H.P. placing small anti-fairy feet back on the floor. “One free sample per pup. If you want more services, you have to pay for them.” “Again!” H.P. sighed good-naturedly. “All right. One more time, Cú Chulainn. But, only if I can trust you to keep this our little secret.” “No! I’m going to brag to all the others that you tossed me twice. I had my fingers crossed about the promise.” “Oh, you’ve got me there,” H.P. told him in monotone. He rustled Talon’s hair with his huge hand. “Go play.” Talon trotted away, laughing. I clenched my claws deeper in the ruffled fabric. He never laughed for me like that.

Talon stomped his foot. “I don’t wanna go back with you! I want to stay here with my other dad!” H.P. and I looked at each other. Then he dropped his attention to Talon again, bending on one knee. “Talon, you’re adopted.” “Really,” I cried, “you’re starting with that?”

Also, shout-out to older Talon in Pink and Gray-

"I hate the inheritance traditions!" Talon's wings exploded behind him, flapping wildly. "It's not fair! You weren't even supposed to become High Count after Anti-Bryndin. Everyone only agreed to let you lead the Anti-Fairies because you have green eyes, but when it's me, your son, who should inherit after you, they're not going to listen, are they? They're not! You don't want me to be your heir! You only keep me around because I'm the only anti-fairy who's been born since the fairy baby mandate cut off all your other options. Or else you'd just dump me on H.P. forever so you don't have to look at me anymore and think about all your old mistakes. You want another kid because I was born with red eyes like some kind of commoner!" "Talon, enough." Anti-Cosmo swept his arm to the side. "You'll wake the hotel. Worshipers have traveled a long way to visit the Water Temple." "Look at me! Look me in these eyes and tell me it's not true!" Anti-Cosmo clenched his teeth, but didn't glance away. "I said, that's enough now. I broke the law to give you a healthy life, child. One would think you'd respect me for that." "The people," Talon snarled, stabbing a claw vaguely in the direction of Anti-Fairy World, "should accept me as your heir, no matter what color my eyes are." "I don't disagree, lad, and I don't intend to argue with you. However, you must realize that it isn't within my power to alter the expectations of an entire society." He stepped forward, fur bristling. "Bet the gossip's true! Bet you were unfaithful. Bet you had me with some hired anti-will o' the wisp for a handful of coins. Is that where I came from? Are you even my real father? Do you ever plan to tell me anything?" Anti-Cosmo tightened his grip on his wand, but regarded the furious anti-fairy with cool collection. His hand twitched, but he kept his arm low. "I will not argue with you, Talon, and I will not succumb to your goading. I am your father, Anti-Wanda is your mother, and despite your legitimacy, you did not inherit our spirit-blessed eyes. That is all you need to know, apart from the fact that if you do not hold your tongue, you will lose your inheritance tonight. Do not try my patience further." Talon simmered a moment more, then swung around and stalked away down the hall. "Telford Anti-Westley Anti-Lunifly. You have yet to be dismissed. Don't you dare turn your back on your High Count while he's trying to converse with you!" "'Trying,'" Talon said, and kept walking.

& "Health Bars"-

"What did you bring me?" Talon asks, looking up. Anti-Cosmo's eyebrows shoot into his hair. "'Bring you?' Why, I wasn't even aware you would be here tonight." Talon sticks out his tongue. "H.P. always brings me stuff when I see him." "True," I acknowledge. In my head, Anti-Cosmo's hitpoints drop into yellow. Anti-Cosmo gives the younger anti-fairy a pitying look. "Then he's spoiled you into being a selfish little brat, I'm afraid." And to me, narrow-eyed, "Thanks for that, actually." "Whoa. Hey. It's not my fault you deprive him of modern technology when he goes to stay in Anti-Fairy World. We agreed from the start: If you want to raise him Zodii, then I get to expose him to pop culture. Go ahead– ask him about memes. I've trained him well."

I just love him and my messy 'fic drama so much... Talon, my beloved.

Because this is a notable part of Anti-Cosmo's backstory - especially the conflict Anti-Cosmo and Talon have - it played into me giving Cosmo that aforementioned dream of wanting kids, which led me to scenes like:

"So, when can I meet Nixie?" Saffron frowned in the rear-view mirror. "Oh, did I not send the letter? You sounded like you'd read it over the call. You seemed fine with it." "L… letter?" "I changed my mind about adopting her out. Jorgen said he'd waive my file at the station if I trade her to him instead of you." He slammed so hard on the brakes, Saffron's glossy lip tube flew past the windshield.

"Repeat" - Cosmo's failed attempt to bring Nixie into his life... Nonetheless, he didn't give up

So... I found an episode with an interesting detail, and I really latched onto it and built my images of Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo around it. Simple enough start!

I lucked out in finding something I thought was super interesting to delve into (especially at a time no one else in the fandom had mentioned it... or at least not in 'fics tagged H.P., because I think I read all those and most if not all of the Anti-Cosmo ones available back then, at least on the sites I used, haha).

Even though I don't consider "The Fairy Beginning" canon as a whole (due to it violating too much established canon), it's still canon in my works that Cosmo stayed with his aunt and uncle for a while and lived under their stairs, which is... hoo boy.

"No, I didn't! I didn't do anything wrong!" Cosmo tightened his arms around Westley's back, beneath the baby's tiny fluttering wings. "It's not me or my fault, okay? It's just… just… Look, it wasn't supposed to happen this way!" Holding babies left him breathless, and Cosmo tried to shift his weight to hold him a little better. Westley kicked him in the chest. "I know I can't keep him, but you can't let Jorgen take him away." "Oh heavens, that's a real baby. There is a fairy baby in my house right now. I'm gonna be sick." Blonda floated backwards, one hand on her stomach and one on her mouth. The sleeve of her robe slid down to her elbow, dangling like a fish fin. She turned a full circle, pacing in the air, then swept back and grabbed him by the shoulders. "The A.B.B.'s been out for weeks. How hasn't Jorgen found you yet? Tell me you haven't been on the run alone. At least say you have another friend in the world besides my sister and me." "O-okay… Uh, we haven't been by ourselves all this time. Is that the right answer?" Blonda leaned her head back against the whitewashed wall. "Oh, Darkness devour me…" Cosmo bit his lip. "We were staying under my aunt and uncle's stairs for a while, b-but I know they're getting close…" As the breathing lines clenched up around his throat, his fingers curled into the yellow towel a little tighter. "Please, Blonda… Can we stay? And can you help me find milk without showing my face at a store? I ran out, and Jorgen wants to take him away so he can teach him to fight and bully everyone. I can't watch that happen! And… and Cupid will just throw him in a cage for the rest of his life. And I'm scared! If Jorgen takes Westley to his fort, then Anti-Cosmo will waltz straight in and waltz out with him again. A-and babies can't waltz!" "What… Where did you even find…? Babies are illegal in our subspecies without Eros consent. And the Eroses never consent outside the exhibit stock. Did you break into the Nest and take one of their kids?" "Blonda, I… couldn't just let them…"

"Repeat"

And from there, we get this art of Cosmo, Westley, and Nixie:

And this bit from "Told You So"-

"He went for milk," Florensa repeated as though in a daze. Sanderson… sighed. He replaced the silk cover on his crystal and dropped his eyes to his desk. Had his elbows always been this pointy? His arms looked thin and scrawny, barely able to hold his weight. He leaned against them anyway and brought his eyes to hers again. "Forgive me for the small talk. My question may be useful to you… Has your son experienced a major drop in energy? An increase in time spent sleeping? A lack of interest in his usual favored activities? I can't imagine he's in the most whimsical of moods right now." "How do you mean?" "Well… Last time I saw him was at Fairy Con. He floated on sagging wings, looking distressed out of his mind. H.P. had me report it. Even for a fairy, I noticed he expressed considerable emotion during Jorgen's speech. Dm. Cosma, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I think I heard your son ask if he could go back on forget-a-cin. Is this true? Pardon me if I am insensitive with this subject, but… How is he handling the separation from his kids?" There it was… cold and dark between them, like a smooth stone dropped into an unmoving pond. Florensa's blue eyes sharpened like snakeupine quills. "Those… those LEECHES under Jorgen's wing are not my son's children! That miserable SHREW forced responsibility on my precious boy! Oh, I'll wring his little blue NECK until he turns purple from it all!" Sanderson stared blankly back at her, too tired to argue. Now would have been a really good time to have his shades. Could she read his thoughts from his eyes? He tried again. "Has Cosmo spoken lately about the kids? I seem to remember he tried to disappear after Westley was born. Fairy World put out an A.B.B. It wouldn't surprise me if he still thinks about them sometimes. Perhaps he went looking for them. Or went to challenge Jorgen." If Jorgen had crushed him into oblivion with one of his mighty fists, that too might explain the shattered wand. Florensa's wings bristled up. "We don't talk about the kids at home," she snapped. "It wouldn't be good for his health! My son is… He's… he's… Well, he's been under so much stress in the workplace! You know how it is, particularly at his age. I just hope he's not been hurt." Hurt? Sanderson grimaced. It was all too easy to imagine Cosmo flattened into pancake form if he set foot anywhere near Westley or Phoenix. The pair were still the talk of Fairy World to this day. Two common fairy babies… the youngest of their subspecies. The first ones born in 370,000 years. They had to be 40 millennia by now. Jorgen bragged about them at every social opportunity, like he'd finally filled a void deep inside him that godchildren never could. And Anti-Cosmo, of course… Well, Anti-Cosmo had been elated with how things turned out. That was sarcasm. Ha ha. Ha ha. But still true, to some degree. Emotions can be hilarious. From the way he fawned over Anti-Westley (Well… "Talon") with his hands clasped against his cheek, you wouldn't think Anti-Fairy World's bachelor king actually lost his first wife over the whole affair. Or his daughters, for that matter… Anti-Saffron had taken both Anti-Miranda and Anti-Phoenix when she left him. As far as the media could guess, the High Count lived by gritting his fangs to bear it.

Aaaaaaaand this plotline in 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash! :')

"A firstborn will always have more magic than their siblings. Up to two layers of magic can wrap themselves around the core. If the child is the father's firstborn, they'll receive one extra layer, and if the child is their mother's, they'll receive two." Poof's head snaps up like a spring. His hand jolts after it. "But it's okay if they don't… right?" His question seems to catch Serena off guard. "Uh. Well, there's nothing wrong with not having the layers. Younger siblings can be equally as healthy as the firstborn. The extra magic is simply a small benefit the first receives." "Um, what happens if you're a firstborn who doesn't have extra core layers?" "Then that person isn't actually a firstborn." "… What? Are there any exceptions?" "To the firstborn bonus? I don't believe there are any. At least, I've never heard of one." Denzel keeps his head low, scratching out notes, until the silence between the two fairies drags on way too long. Uhh… He looks up again. Poof stares back at his grandmother, shock bleeding his face out to white. She hovers at the front of the room wearing the same look of confusion that Denzel himself might have shown to dancing chipmunks on a ceiling fan. "That's… not true," Poof croaks back. His voice wavers on a string. He drops his head to the desk, wrapping his stubby arms around his head. Um.

"Looking Back"

"Am I adopted?" Poof blurted, not answering the actual question. Auntie Wanda's brows shot off her head. She looked at Cosmo. Cosmo stared back at her, wide-eyed and frozen

And he laughed, throwing his arms out too the side. "Poof, do you even hear yourself? Or did you just flunk anatomy class? Only firstborns get extra core layers." "… Aren't we firstborns?" "Do… do you not know?" The mental damage Poof took after those words slammed straight into his brain a second later. Foop flinched back, gripping his hair in one fist. Poof's heartbeat spiked- hot, fast, and undeniable, because a cold cloud crashed into Foop's chest like a clenching fist. A spark of purple fire flared like a spooked rabbit in the depths of Poof's eyes. He's not joking. "Has your dad not talked to you about this?" Gary made an attempt to suggest they call it quits for the day. Foop only half heard him. "Poof," he spluttered, "what? You know my Vatajasa name is Fry-sün d'ichord. Did you think I use the title 'second child; second son' ironically!?"

"Sentry"

Finley was just, like… taunting me and saying that I'm adopted." The memory flares tears in my eyes. I sniff, sort of pathetically, and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand. "But I'm not… I'm a Cosma and a Fairywinkle." "Adopted," Big Daddy repeats. He flicks his eyes from my crown to shoes. They coast along the freckles down my sides. He shakes his head then. Firm. "You wouldn't have the gene for lateral spots if you weren't a Fairywinkle. Your pheromones match the family's too. Cherry almond. Even if yours are underdeveloped, I can sniff that on you from here. Forget about it, Poof… There's no doubt about it. My little cannoli Wanda is your mother, as sure as I'm your granddaddy."

"I Just Live Here"

😬 ... Yeaaaaaaah...... I've been planning this since 2016.

So, hmm.. I wonder why I drew this during my music meme years ago...

Yeah... Yeeeeeeaaaaah... That's rough, buddy.

Also, no matter the universe, Anti-Cosmo is notoriously bad at paying child support and consistently has a rougher relationship with Talon than H.P. does :'D

I also want to point out that when you're introducing characters and major plot points, take the time to consider how they fit into the world and play off other characters! Talon and Westley influence a ton of people, including Anti-Cosmo, H.P., Anti-Wanda, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, Foop, Blonda, Big Daddy, Jorgen, Binky, Cupid, Sanderson, each other... etc. And all this from two photos of two characters who were onscreen for mere seconds, several seasons apart, and don't have speaking lines or even animation...

The big follow-up & "tying loose ends" 'fic for Poof's "Am I adopted?" anxiety is the upcoming Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies - named after a song Wanda wrote, according to "77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)."

It's Poof POV and parallels Foop's war POV in "You'll Never Know." I'm looking forward to posting it, but it's massive and - despite everything this post covers - still contains a lot of major Frayed Knots spoilers related to Cosmo's trauma that we didn't even touch on here, so... it's my baby. Huge personal favorite, though <3

The night before you sent this Ask, I actually sketched potential animatic panels for the Big Fish song "Showdown," even though I don't plan to make an actual animatic. It's been on my Poof inspo playlist for YEARS and was haunting me...

btw, if you like this song... I'm not telling you to do anything, but I AM telling you the songs for this musical regularly disappear from YouTube and have been on and off for many years

Cosmo Wrap-Up

So... [inhales].

When it comes to writing a fan portrayal of a character, there's no replacing doing your own personal study, whatever that means to you - watching episodes, reading 'fics, studying other people's analyses - as you strain out your own version of him.

I think backstory is a really good jumping point for deciding what kinds of things you want to do with Cosmo, and how it ties into how he acts in canon.

Obviously, there's a lot going on in Cloud!Cosmo's backstory... and this despite the fact he's one of the characters I rarely put onscreen. He's one of those "characters who haunt the narrative" for me.

... I barely touched on Nixie drama in this post, but if you can guess where THAT'S going... congratulations! It's been heavily foreshadowed in my lore since the start and is super messed-up :'D.

Frayed Knots, my cruel beloved...

My Cosmo is super specific, and the many intricate layers at play here definitely influence how I write him. Which is a fantastic jumping off point for me if I ever get stuck.

Key points that come from the backstory I've given him include:

- Cosmo growing up without a lot of life experience, so he looks to others for advice. This can easily lead him to trouble if he follows the wrong crowd. - Tension between Cosmo and Mama Cosma, especially in regards to her being annoyed at Wanda and wanting Cosmo to marry someone who's "better for him" - Cosmo doesn't give up easily & is willing to take matters into his own hands. However, he does have his breaking point and massive amounts of trauma and anxiety, which he covers by wiping memories from his head - Cosmo is overprotective of his car because it's one of the only things in his life that's exclusively his and which he has control over (Setting us up for drama in "Repeat" when Poof panics about how he crashed the car... which spirals Poof into his vegan lifestyle, where he punishes himself by cutting meat from his diet despite being a carnivore, so that's a whole thing) - Cosmo is smart in a very specific way related to the stars, cars, energy, electricity, and the Fairy baby ban history... things that aren't necessarily common for godkids to ask about. Also, some random smarts leak through his fractured memories - Cosmo struggling with self-hatred because "he used to be smarter" and gets upset he can't remember things well - Cosmo in hiding (Ex: Only pays with cash to avoid being traced; I have an upcoming scene where he starts panicking about how he's slow and holding up the line and Poof steps in to help) - Cosmo's memory problems (Regularly on forget-a-cin) - Cosmo being clingy towards Wanda and/or struggling to make friends and trust others (especially in academia) - Cosmo's postpartum depression (Struggles with snappiness, loneliness, and fear that Poof doesn't like him) - Cosmo and Wanda having their second kid (Dusty) very early compared to the usual distance between siblings in Fairy society - Cosmo desperate to soak up time with his kids / godkids (Leading him to grant Timmy's secret wish to freeze time - Canon event) - Cosmo and Wanda being really anxious about Poof's relationship with Goldie, who comes from a species known for "tempting drakes away from their parents to join harems" (à la "Opinion" when they try to discourage Poof from dating her) -> And the change of heart Cosmo and Wanda have later in "All I Ever Wanted" when they tell Poof they support him and don't want him to elope and cut them from his life like they cut their parents. -> And Cosmo being extremely "dad" and gentle with Poof in that piece when Poof has his anxiety attack - Cosmo will absolutely have a breakdown if you ask him directly about Westley or Nixie, which is why he and Wanda are waiting until Poof is older to bring it up.

Actually, here's a scene about that last one!

“My friends said I’m not a firstborn because I don’t have the extra magic layers around my core. Am I really your first kid?” My dad screamed. No words, just a scream. I jerked back, and he whirled around and slammed his hand into the wall. It slid down, and he went with it in a shaking mess on the floor. Mom took my elbow and guided me from the room, promising we’d talk later after she made sure he was all right. I hovered in the next room, hands clapped to my mouth, not sure what to do. That evening, Mama came to find me. “Poof-” “I don’t want to know,” I blurted, plugging my ears. I clenched my eyes shut. “Just tell me I’m a weirdo who was born without the extra layers. If I’m not your first, I don’t want to know.”

Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies

:'D ...

[Laughs in Frayed Knots] - Cosmo honey, you've got a big storm comin'...

For anyone wanting to write Cosmo, I suggest finding some moments from the show (OG series, New Wish, whatever) that you find interesting and want to delve into (or that you use to define your personal view of Cosmo- Who he is; what you like about him).

You might end up wanting to write a backstory 'fic, and if you don't, at least you'll have a good idea of what you envision his story being like, which can shape creative interpretation of his character.

A loose outline, thought web, or note sheet might be helpful- I usually make Tumblr posts or write one-shots to work through my thoughts.

Obviously, a lot of the stuff I listed above are things the series never delves into. I like the freedom of making stuff up for Cosmo, exploring what makes him tick in my own way, but there's nothing wrong with keeping it simple like "Well, my Cosmo was a small town kid who didn't really leave home until he fell in with Wanda."

Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be interesting! Feel free to tag me when you post your 'fic so I can check it out <3

Other Cosmo writing resources:

- My brief bio of Cosmo

- Let's Talk Cosmo - Early character study

- My "Cosmo can be a tricky character to write" video clips + my analysis of them (I always meant to do one of these for other characters, but never got around to it~)

- Personal analysis on Cosmo's depression - I write Anti-Cosmo with bipolar disorder and this has been an interesting parallel.

-> Cosmo's postpartum depression is particularly fun for me and was glimpsed in "Repeat" flashbacks where he was hiding emotions from Wanda & working through his "Why would the baby like me if I don't even like me?" struggles. I always wanted to make its own 'fic about it, but it was very depressing, so I stopped :'D whodathunk...

- I like this scene in "I Dream of Cosmo" where Cosmo is trying to pull the reins in on Timmy's Dad :)

- I also like this scene from "Desperate Without Housewives," which takes place in Season 9 (after Jorgen stops wiping Crocker's memories in Season 7*. In this scene, now that Crocker's memory isn't wiped anymore, Cosmo blatantly outs himself as a fairy and Crocker just :|

* very heavily implied; my interpretation of the ending is that Jorgen actively exposed Crocker's relatives to Fairies to power the Big Wand and why would he erase Crocker's memory if he's doing that, but it's not technically confirmed... However, the episodes after this do seem to depict Crocker extremely sure of Timmy's fairies, no longer theorizing, and Kevin... also seems to have some memory immunity? Unclear, but if Cosmo was acting Like That in "Chip Off the Old Crock" because he was trying to pull the same joke with Kevin he pulled with Denzel, that's flippin' hilarious. But Timmy's Dad doesn't know and I like to think Crocker is covering for Cosmo in front of him in this scene when he nervously laughs Cosmo's comment off

Characters I Find Tricky to Write

I'll try to keep this section short since this post got out of hand, but thanks for asking!

I do think Cosmo is very hard to write. I'd probably say he's the most difficult for me. I can talk all I want about what I think his character IS, but that doesn't mean I know what to make him SAY in any given scene- especially considering I tend to write drama stories, and that's not a good playing field for him (He's better with adventure or romance or humor).

Secret knowledge I have from a close study of Cosmo I did once upon a time - he favors long sentences, not choppy ones. I feel like it's easy to default to "This character doesn't have deep thoughts, so I'll just have them say something quick and random." I'm sure Cosmo has his fair share of short comments, but recognizing his long sentences changed something for me. Made me think more carefully about how specific he's going to be.

I think he worked great in "Repeat" when he was the POV character and had to move things along - he had no choice & his internal dialogue was able to cover for the characterization his dialogue couldn't - but I don't do well when he's a side character and I need him to "say something funny" to sound like Cosmo.

Not one of my favorites to write, but that's because I like making characters clash and have long conversations about complicated topics. Cosmo isn't necessarily a fun one for that, or to see get in an emotionally heated situation with. I think he'd just leave... ... but I liked "Repeat" when he COULDN'T leave us, so we were privy to all the secrets he wouldn't say.

You might be surprised, but I genuinely like writing Anti-Cosmo long and rambly- I get to do this in Frayed Knots (which is a completely unique narration tone from Origin of the Pixies, which is informative but blunt).

I especially liked Reedfilter Rules Chapter 2, when he uses some VERY heavy (as in flowery) and long-winded language for his internal commentary. Sadly... a lot of people aren't fans of reading that kind of thing :'D And I do not blame them... but I enjoyed it.

That chapter took YEARS of on and off attention to finalize because I wanted him to be perfect before I locked myself into a certain style for the rest of the AU, but honestly... I'm not sure I can - or should bother to - mimic that for future chapters.

idk. I think it's fun, but my goal was to write RR!Anti-Cosmo's internal narration distinct from Clouds!Anti-Cosmo's, and I think I succeeded. Just not sure if it's worth doing twice to that extreme.

One of the comments Frayed Knots tends to get is that it's exhausting... not only for length of its own merit, but also because Anti-Cosmo rambles about worldbuilding and it can make readers free pressured to retain the info and/or it just confuses or bores them. And I totally get that...

... but also, I cannot emphasize enough that Knots' style is like that on purpose. Have you met this man? He SHOULD be bothering you- he's REALLY annoying and he talks a lot. And also, if you get lost along the way, I think he'd find that amusing and would do it more. lmao. get wrecked.

/whispers loudly - His whole thing is that his mom and stepdad think he's annoying and they're not especially nice to him - in fact, they both outright abuse him - and they don't really feel bad about it because he is just THAT bothersome, which is why he falls in with people like H.P., Blonda, and Anti-Wanda - who "just get him" - down the line. Hilariously, Wanda does not have patience for him... as much as he has a crush on her and wishes she did.

Sorry to everyone who takes his longwindedness as clumsy, frustrating writing. You're correct, but so am I. If I have to sit here in his annoying head for 8 years of writing this 'fic, you have to sit here with me <3

Genuinely though, rambling is A.C.'s thing and I like doing that in his other POV stories, like "Yellow Flower Number 9" (linked below). He literally stops shopping to dump his woes on a cashier and I think that's very fitting for him. Man loves his monologues...

I write a lot of H.P.-Anti-Cosmo interactions, but because I strive for canon-compliancy, I can't allow H.P. to call him by his "A.C." nickname until he canonically gives it to him in "Fairly Odd Baby" (A.C. seems surprised by the nickname, but says he likes it).

- You wouldn't think it would matter, but the amount of times I've had to sigh and fix a draft with the nickname is not 5. - Compare with "Yellow Flower Number 9," where he calls him A.C. like 4 times in 20 minutes, lol.

Hmm, hardest character... Ooh, I think it's Jorgen. I really like how I wrote him in "Whatever," specifically here-

Jorgen's hand shot forward. He grabbed Juan in his fist and squeezed until the fairy shrieked and started spitting pleas. Then Jorgen jerked his hand over to Seneca. She flinched back. "I am not here to wait around and answer all your pathetically obvious questions. That is what he is for. You can ask him. As for me, I have two appendixes to separate and a great deal of paperwork to do." He dropped Juan to the floor, then crashed his walking stick (Star staff, sun staff) down too. The force of it sent a shockwave across the clinic.

- but I'm extremely self-conscious of him in general. I don't use him much.

Oh, Chloe takes a ton of attention. She has a super specific speech pattern of using contractions to start her many, many follow-up sentences to her thoughts (She builds on her thoughts and elaborates in a series of addendums).

She speaks her mind and is kind of "deadpan snark" about it, but in a happy way. She also has very weird phrasings. Fascinating.

I wrote about her speech pattern HERE, but she's unique for sure. I'm quite pleased with how I wrote her in "This Is a Box."

I also think Vicky can be tricky to balance realism with what a threat she is... particularly if you're trying not to lampshade the consequences of her actions (although the show does). I look forward to writing her in combination with Dale especially. I have free reign to push Dale way past where I can realistically push Timmy without Timmy reacting, so I think that might be fun.

I had a lot of fun writing Trixie in Chapter 4 of Come What May, when Kevin meets her at Shirley's Pizzeria (and I enjoyed Tad, Chad, and Veronica both in that chapter and the previous). Kevin meeting the popular kids was one of my favorite topics in general :)

I struggle with Kevin flipping from high energy to extremely self-deprecating. I tend to play him as dead inside, which I do think is accurate, but I do think Come What May is missing the humor that comes from being the guy who kicks down a door yelling "Yo, yo, you! Crockmeister in the hizzy!" or answers his phone with "This is the Crockmeister; crock to me!"

I'd love to finish this 'fic, but it always feels depressing to me :'D I was going for "quirky middle grade adventure," but I ended up with gloom and creepiness. Idk what to do to make it fun and I hesitate to touch it if it might bring me down, so I procrastinate.

I think I need to practice my Mark Chang voice to make him more fun and quirky instead of stating plain facts.

Also, for the longest time, I felt kind of guilty that I write Anti-Cosmo as an overly anxious loser when (afaik), most of the fandom don't consider that even close to their vision, so I felt like I was bashing on their favorite even though I was genuinely trying to write him the way I see him, but... sldkfj. vindicated!!

Thank you New Wish for reminding me he really is that much of a cringefail loserboy <3

No matter what happens with the series from this point on... "Battle of Big Wand" Anti-Cosmo, you will always be famous to me.