#i truly think it pushed for queer rights even in real life

[hawkfuller]

everything i've ever wanted to articulate. just there. in a post. like an unexpected but thought-out gift.

Why Queer as Folk (2000) Was Seemingly Forgotten

An analysis by a professional TV Critic

Let me start off by saying the initial run of Queer as Folk and its current resurgence can be represented by this mantra by Brian Kinney: There are two kinds of straight people. The ones who hate you to your back and the ones who hate you to your face.

The initial run of QAF coincides with the first half of the statement: hate behind your back.

So, recently I started thinking about how in the early 2000s, Queer as Folk seemed to be on a trajectory of going down in TV history. Then, seemingly just as quickly, people stopped talking about it. So much so that by the time I finished watching it in 2009, I only got a few good months of chatter on social media platforms (Twitter mostly) with other fans before it just stopped being talked about in a wide-reaching manner.

I will even admit that I stopped thinking about the show not long after that and wasn't reminded of its full impact on my psyche until late last year when it was back on easy-access streaming due to Showtime's merge with Paramount+.

But why is it that this show is only just now starting to pick up speed again? (I'm talking fan cams on TikTok, memes, etc.)

I have some theories about all of this, so buckle in.

To really get a grasp of what Queer as Folk was working against when it aired on Showtime -- a paid subscription channel back before the days of an overabundance of streaming services, you have to look at the climate we were living in. Also, how inaccessible a paid TV channel was for most people.

So, in the early 2000s, life in the United States, and probably the world, but I'm not fully educated enough to comment on that, wasn't the greatest for those in the LGBT+ community. It would be years before the President of the United States would pass legislation that Gay Marriage be legal nationwide.

Employers were able to fire people for being gay, and the employees couldn't fight it. Gay parents had very little in terms of rights to their own children; in fact, some couldn't even adopt the kids they wanted to because there were no laws against discrimination.

All of these things are depicted left and right throughout Queer as Folk, with Ted getting fired from his job, Michael being extremely closeted at his job, and Melanie not being afforded rights to Gus because of adoption regulations during that time.

So, for our community to receive a show that was by us for us, we were overjoyed. There was something so resolutely refreshing about the unapologetic manner in which these characters were allowed to present themselves and live their lives. And while the show gets dinged today for its lack of racial diversity, we were glad to see queer people represented in a variety of ways -- we got to see the Emmett's and Justin's of the world being friends with the Ted's and Michael's and Brian's.

Not only that, these characters got to love who they wanted, however, they wanted, and whenever they wanted. Characters like Michael and Emmett could go from wanting to freely fuck whoever to finding that special person and settling down. We got to see Ted find the right guy at the wrong time over and over and over again until it was finally the right guy at the right time.

But most of all, we got to see a character like Brian, who, in the hands of a straight person, might've actually gone "soft" and "domestic" just by being with Justin. Instead, we got to see him never change his opinion about what he wanted, but still finding love in his own way.

However, not long after the show ended (like around 2008), the climate in the United States started to shift more towards open acceptance of the queer community. So, people stopped needing an escape from the hardships of real life because things seemed to be on an upward trend toward love and equality. Therefore, Queer as Folk sort of fell off the radar of viewers because we didn't want more of the gritty, complicated, messy queer stories. We wanted our stories to be happy and lighthearted.

(Keep in mind I am speaking in terms of general viewers. There are always exceptions to the rule)

Then, in 2016, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States, and suddenly, it was totally okay for people to openly mock us and hate us.

This is where the resurgence of QAF falls into the second half of Brian's mantra: hate us to our face.

Around 2016/2017, people started talking about this show again. And the love and fervor for it has only increased exponentially over the last few years, especially with the onset of COVID-19 and the merging of Showtime/Paramount+. Both events made the public more aware and able to access the show.

Now more than ever, we need something that isn't afraid to show queer people as we are, not as the media and those outside our community paint us. We need to feel like there is a media format that understands what we are like when we are with our closest friends. We say things that, in today's world, would probably get us canceled, and we judge those around us and have very biased opinions about certain people.

Brian Kinney's unapologetic "I am who I am and fuck anyone who tries to change me" attitude is the exact level of strength and courage we wished more people right now had. His biased, but not illogical, opinion of non-queers needs to be loud. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops because we now live in a world where we are hated just for existing as we are.

Even our rights that had been given to us just a decade ago are being stripped away from us once more. So, the fight for love and equality continues, and the hope that Queer as Folk gives us is important now more than ever.

So, people are seeking this story out and are begging others in the world to watch it and understand that we have always been here. We've always been these flawed but loving characters. We deserve to be heard.

In 2022, Peacock tried its best to create a redo of the series but failed miserably. But why? If we are desperately looking for queer media that is gritty, unapologetic, and real, then why didn't we latch onto this latest iteration?

The answer is simple. This new version was great at creating a more diverse image of the characters created for the Showtime series but failed to understand that recreating things almost note for note with entirely new characters isn't what we want.

It would've been better if the show stuck to broad-stroke themes and made these characters and their experiences their own. Queer today is different than queer in the early 2000s, just like queer in the 2000s was different than queer in the 1980s. Trying to put queer 2000s stories into a queer 2020s world isn't going to work.

We need to embrace this resurgence of Queer as Folk (2000) and give it the love and attention it should've always had. Perhaps finally giving its rightful due in the eyes of the history of queer media. Does it have its issues as the world changes? Absolutely, but we also can't sit here and deny the insane level of impact this show had on the queer media we now know and love.

We wouldn't have casually queer shows like Schitt's Creek, Heartstopper, and Our Flag Means Death if Queer as Folk hadn't broken down our walls and made us realize that we can demand stories for queer people by queer people.

[disaster-j]

What really pisses me off is people insisting the break-up doesn't make sense as its own thing when it's so clearly in-character for both of them

Buck has been in a serious relationship with a man for six months but hasn't said the word bisexual. We only know that's His Label bc Oliver Stark calls him bisexual outside of the show. Buck has had what seemed to be a perfect fairytale relationship with Tommy bc Tommy made him feel so safe and comfortable and taken care of that he just let everything else about his coming out journey kinda simmer on the back burner.

And, hey, there's nothing wrong with taking your time with that. But considering the scene at dispatch where he still couldn't talk about his sexuality in concrete terms, clearly he hasn't processed it much, if at all. Buck is the guy who dives deep into research at the slightest opportunity, him knowing so little about queerness and queer culture six months into a serious same-sex relationship isn't just out of character but a clear sign that he simply hasn't done any work to explore his sexuality for himself outside of his relationship with Tommy. Whether the writers intended for it read like that or not doesn't matter very much, bc that's exactly what I'm seeing here.

And, again, that alone as a reason to break up with someone is extremely shitty but that's also not what happened.

Tommy clearly has a history of isolating. He's been hurt a lot in the past, we don't need to know the details to know he's a deeply wounded man who spent most of his life guarding his own heart from the world. He told Buck and the audience over and over again, "I look confident. I look sure. I am comfortable. But it took hard work. I wasn't like this before. This is new. This is good but this is scary. I'm working on it I'm working on it I'm working."

He can see that Buck views him as something more, something better, than he thinks he is. Buck loves Tommy, Buck was infatuated with Tommy. Tommy was this perfect guy in Buck's eyes. And that scared Tommy. It intimidated him. But he kept going bc it wasn't a big deal and he could always remind Buck that hey he's just a guy, a guy who had done things wrong for a long time. But Buck never fully grasped it either. Likely bc of how good Tommy made him feel, he struggled to fully grasp that things with Tommy couldn't always be so perfect and good and safe.

They don't talk about that but they keep going bc they like each other bc they're falling in love bc until that six month mark they were both still fairly distracted by how good it felt to be together to really, seriously consider the ramifications of ignoring those not-so-little things they didn't want to face right then.

And then suddenly it's been six months and they're clearly both in love and they're both clearly not ready to be acknowledging that at all. It's been six months and they're just trying to match each other's pace but have never talked about what that pace actually is and then suddenly they're talking about how Tommy used to be engaged to the woman who taught Buck what a real relationship meant and they still aren't even ready to acknowledge they're in love but Buck is already asking to move in together and talking about marriage and they haven't even said i love yous and Buck can't even utter the word bisexual out loud but he wants to jump into living together and fusing their lives together.

But he's not ready for that. As far as Tommy can see he's not ready for that. And if he's asking for something so big when he can't even say the word love then maybe, in Tommy's mind, he'll never truly be able to say it. Maybe they'll keep going like this. Living together and being together but Buck can't face his sexuality as its own thing and Tommy can't face how his trauma affects their relationship and eventually it'll be too much and maybe Buck still wouldn't want to say it and Tommy would push him away like he pushes everyone away and then they'll be right back to that moment, weeks or months or years later, with Buck wanting more but not able to say those words and with Tommy wishing he'd left before it hurt so much.

And sure it hurts to leave now but at least now he's early. Now, Buck hasn't wrapped himself around every piece of his life. Just his heart. At least now he'll hurt but he won't have to move just to get rid of the scent of Evan Buckley perpetually lingering in every corner of his home.

Buck loves Tommy so much he can't imagine a future without him. Tommy loves him so much he can't imagine a future where he gets to keep him.

The break-up makes all the sense in the world. It just doesn't make sense that the break-up wouldn't force them to work on their respective issues and bring them back together stronger in the future.

[elvensorceress]

sentences on sunday tagged throughout the week by @eddiebabygirldiaz @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @wikiangela @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @theotherbuckley @monsterrae1 @kitteneddiediaz @spotsandsocks @giddyupbuck @bekkachaos @eddiescowboy @buddierights @wh0re-behavi0r I love you all and thank you and go read all of their lovely snippets! 💕 tagging (if you are so inclined) @spaceprincessem @hoodie-buck @the-likesofus @911onabc @heartshapedvows @astronaut-karenwilson 💕

More Unless finale 😘

He has to stop thinking of Buck as his husband. They’re not really that. Not yet? This is only their first date. Even if it is Buck and it’s different from any other first date. 

Still doesn’t mean Buck is ready to tie knots and buy rings and commit to forever. 

They haven’t committed to forever. Technically. Not exactly? It’s hard to say when they are so in love and it’s so newly confessed, but they are also attached to each other for life in so many other ways. Of course they’re committed to each other and to being together, and it could never be a testing the waters situation with them. They’re already all the way in. 

That leaves them… where? Partners, like always. But not exactly like before. More than before. Boyfriends for simplicity’s sake and because they haven’t even been on their date yet. But far more than boyfriends because they live together, they have a child together. And Eddie knows this is it for him. 

But what normal person would agree to marriage right off the bat? Not that Buck is particularly normal. He’s extraordinary. And Eddie wasn’t sure he’d ever want to get married again. Not after how badly he fucked up the first time. What makes him think he’d be good enough, changed enough for a second try? 

What makes him think he won’t fuck this up somehow? He’s sure he has it in him to ruin one of the best things that’s ever happened to him. 

“Was she the first person you came out to?” Buck asks, glancing at him while driving. And also reaching over to offer his hand again for Eddie to take now that there’s no teenager in the car who will be judgmental and embarrassed over his dads holding hands. 

“I guess so. Wasn’t intentional. I was still working through everything.” But Buck had come to his rescue and taken over childcare while Eddie was fucked up and falling apart. He stayed for weeks, took time off work, looked out for him, slept next to him, cooked for all three of them, and helped clean and patch up the broken destruction of Eddie’s whole life. 

And it was really hard not to imagine what it would be like to have Buck as his husband. 

With someone else, anyone else, it probably would have freaked Eddie out. But he already wanted Buck for the rest of his life. Imagining that their whole lives could be exactly like those few weeks, even with as awful as they were inside Eddie’s own head, it was comforting. It relieved so much stress and turmoil. He loves having Buck around. And Chris does, too. Chris attached himself to Buck any moment he could, and Eddie wished he could do the same. He wanted Buck to be his husband. He wanted him with them forever. 

Not that it was Eddie’s queer revelation. It wasn’t. There had been thoughts percolating in his head for a very long time. It wasn’t even the first inkling of how he truly felt about and wanted Buck. But it was a vivid dream come true, suddenly brought to life that Eddie couldn’t ignore any longer. 

And then he had all those conversations with May about figuring out who you want to be and reconciling what you had wanted for yourself with how your life turned out, and how to finally be your real, true, honest self so that you could have a life that was as happy as possible. A life that feels like it fits who you are when you’re not lost and hiding. 

Eddie still had to keep it under wraps and push it to the side for much longer than he would have preferred. But living the life he wanted, feeling it, almost but not quite having it made everything far more real. He could see it, he could almost touch it. Buck is a perfect partner and parent, as perfect as anyone can be, more than perfect for Eddie and Chris.

In fact, every day Chris gushed to him about how he loved having Buck around all the time for homework and pancake making and video game tournaments and movie watching.

And Eddie remembered waking up unable to breathe until Buck put a hand on his chest. He remembered silent tears that would just pour out of him nonstop and nothing he did or tried to tell himself could make them stop. But Buck would brush them away. Buck would even hold him, though it was nowhere near close enough. There would still be his arms around Eddie. That more than anything made the tears let up. 

Even though it was one of the lowest points of Eddie’s life and the mere idea of being alive was not compatible with what he actually wanted or even thought he deserved, having Buck there still made him feel like he could survive in spite of everything.

[just-orbiting-you]

Honestly I’m sad and disappointed in all this discourse about Jikook not being gentle with each other just over JK play fighting with JM. And I would have got it if there was some real manhandling in that scene for people to be enraged about but that’s not the case at all. Also anon saying “just boys” as if being gentle and lovey dovey which they still are meant jikook weren’t boys 🤯

Some of them are those guys who would be drooling and cooing over the pool scene of JK hair grabbing JM to bring him on surface but one playful push or slap would have them questioning Jikook.

Also anon saying “just boys” as if being gentle and lovey dovey which they still are meant jikook weren’t boys 🤯

let me know if im reading too much into this, but i think you are absolutely right here. we either take one or the other: jikook being gentle and caring and softer toward each other means they’re together but more ‘masculine’ behaviors like playfighting and jokes immediately negate the previous implications.

sometimes the feminization of asian men plus the feminization of gay men plays at an intersection in this space. specifically for gay men, they are stereotyped as particularly effeminate and sexual.

if we are claiming jikook are queer, then to some there’s an implication of how they’re “supposed” to act based on stereotyping. and thus people paint jikook with broad strokes to fit them. we’ve seen how their softer (feminine stereotyped) behaviors toward each other have thus been indicative to shippers of their romantic relationship. but even still, jikook still played around often: there’s video of jungkook hitting jimin, picking him up, manhandling him.

even in ays, with jungkook pulling jimin’s hair like you said, it immediately turned into “👀 he looks very comfortable doing that.” these certain shows of particularly jungkook’s “strength” are immediately sexualized. that’s the only place where masculinity is ‘okay’ in regard to shippers view of their relationship.

but now some of us are seeing a more playful, “masculine” behavior from jikook often and consecutive in ays, it’s too jarring from the preset stereotype. it can’t fit in either a feminine, caring or sexy box.

i know its stating the obvious, but asian men, queer men, and queer asian men (really all men in general) are three-dimensional with capability to express a spectrum of emotionality and behavior. specifically here, queer men act in ways typed as masculine. you can still present more masculine and be queer. stereotypes and gender roles should not govern our outlook on jimin and jungkook.

jikook would still be “just boys” even if they truly are dating, even though they are often very sweet with each other. jikook playfighting with towels doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and could very well be dating. because men can be gentle and men can be playful and rough. men can be bratty and stubborn and men can be sweet and nurturing. people immediately jump to exhibition of these behaviors having implications for jikook and i think it often comes up unfounded.

and i don’t mean for this post to be offensive toward anyone, i’m merely commenting on what i see. i honestly recommend those unfamiliar to engage with queer theory and queer media (since some may not have a queer community around them). because it really shows when some have a background in this (mostly from probably being queer themselves or just having basic knowledge of queerness) while others don’t. jikook are real people, meaning if they truly are queer, it has real life implications. so we should speak about them in that context :). thanks for your ask anon! really ended up being thought provoking.

[polyamorouspunk]

what’s it like going to a punk/metal show? I’ve always wanted to go to one but i live way too rural for there to be any nearby

Hmm, okay.

For me, personally, I always feel like I don’t belong there. But at the same time it feels like home.

And that goes for almost any show no matter the size.

There are exceptions! I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way at an INK show, and I didn’t feel that way going to see them with Metallica. There were people of all ages and race etc. at Metallica, from downright conservatives to queer as fuck folks.

Looking around at Beartooth I had a hard time not comparing myself to others. I wasn’t traditionally pretty like the skinny white sorority looking girls. I didn’t feel like I looked “hardcore” enough. I didn’t feel like I looked queer enough. But at the end of the day you’re in a stadium full of other people who get you in some way or another.

I’ve never been to a show where I didn’t end up talking to someone. I’ve always been able to make conversation with those around me with ease. It’s an ease that is different than talking to people in public. Maybe more similar to if you went to a convention and there are a ton of people in costumes and you’re able to just walk up to them and tell them you like their cosplay. Or you’re standing at a booth and a group of friends is fawning over a button pin or a sticker the artist is selling and you chime in and agree it’s super cute and you were thinking of getting it yourself. Small talk like that.

Smaller scene shows can be hard to break into and feel comfortable talking to people like that if everyone knows each other and you don’t know any of them. It’s a lot easier if THEY come to you.

Going to a show, by the time the opening acts are through, your hearing is fucked up, and you’re hearing everything as if you’re underwater. If you know the songs you can pick them out and sing along, but if you don’t, you’re not picking up on much because it all just sounds like noise soup.

Every once in a while you have to stop what you’re doing (filming, vibing, drinking, smoking, etc.) to help crowd surf someone. Sometimes you’re helping the same person crowd surf like 8 times.

I’ve never seen anyone say that someone was too big to crowd surf. Big tiddy goth girls? They crowd surfing.

You have to be okay with other people touching you. You have to be okay with getting grabbed, getting pushed, getting shoved, getting hands laid on you, etc. and you have to not freak out about it.

It becomes VERY easy to get separated from people you’re with, but everyone around you is cool, so it’s fine.

I saw a fight break out at Beartooth RIGHT inbetween my best friend and I, and we were on opposite sides, and it was enough Caleb stopped the show, and they cussed each other out, and then made up and hugged it out after. You have to learn to not be afraid of these people, even if they are people you would never associate with otherwise.

Of course shit happens. People get drunk, people get high, etc. and a lot of times if something happens you hear about it after the fact, but I haven’t had that happen honestly.

You get this sort of anxiety beforehand, waiting in line. No matter what I feel like I always have anxiety at shows. It goes away and gets replaced by this euphoric high though that a few days later leaves you deprived of that chemical and you FEEL a depression. Post-concert blues is a REAL fucking thing. It’s very hard to go back to your “normal” life after an amazing night. Truly “I shouldn’t be here, I should be at a concert right now”.

Trash everywhere.

Smaller shows are personal enough you can just hang out and talk to artists. A lot of them are just people with regular day jobs who do this on the side. Slightly larger bands might do music as a full time gig but work their own merch table and stuff so you can go talk to them. You can pretty easily find them outside the venue and just sit down and hang out with them. I ran into Remington Leith of Palaye Royale the first Warped tour I ever went to and I walked around with him a bit. I found Tallah outside the venue when I went the other week and just sat with them while I scrolled through tumblr and listened to them talk to each other and occasionally chimed in and talked to them. Alex said she liked my homemade Tallah shirt. They were looking at a weird bug. I asked about it. Shit like that.

When I went to see Beartooth I could see Caleb side stage and I excitedly pointed him out to my best friend and she was like idk who that is and I said he was the lead singer of Beartooth and I had to mime that I had a crush on him. Embarrassing shit.

The singers will talk to the audience on stage. Sometimes they ramble on, sometimes they perform bits, like comedy. Caleb was talking about how he’d played the venue we saw them in more times than any other venue.

Moshing starts off strong and then dies down quickly a lot. A singer will fire up the crowd and it does not last. People are tired.

Costumes? A lot of costumes. Both the bands and the fans.

Sometimes the merch line is worth it, sometimes it is not.

I personally never get food or drink at concerts. I also don’t wear hearing protection. I really, really should. But I don’t. There is nothing unsexy about hearing protection.

Someone’s head is always in the way and when it’a not it’s truly a magical moment blessed from the gods.

You may get stuff thrown at or dumped on you. It happens. Once again you just gotta be cool with it.

If you don’t want to be in the pit everyone just kind of shuffles away and if you do you gotta push through and be like “LET ME IN”. 90% of people there do not want to be in the mosh pit. We are old and decrepit. Also that much attention on me would make me anxious.

Every band is just a group of Some Guys™️ truly. Just some fucking dudes. Sometimes there are girls and they are hot. Hi Alex from Tallah.

Lead singers love to climb things. Guitarists love to spin in circles. Drummers like to go hard for drum solos and they’re right and they should s(pl)ay it.

Local shows you’ll probably end up knowing some people by sight at least if not by name if you go more than once. So far people have come up to me and introduced themselves so I know some faces. It’s hard to not have imposter syndrome about it, at least for me. It’s hard not to feel transient or like you don’t belong when everyone knows each other and has history and talks about “hey were you there when-” “YEAH I WAS” and you don’t see any of these people ever. They’ll include you as best as they can but it can still be kind of isolating.

I’m sure if you’re already a pillar in your scene, then it’s truly a life style. Drinking, smoking, hosting shows in your bedroom, going to other shows in other people’s bedrooms and living rooms, house parties ever weekend or shows at the local venue where you know everyone that works there. Shit like that.

This has been a mix of my experiences the last few shows I’ve been to, which in order, has been Tallah, Beartooth, Metallica, and then just a house party with DJs.

[dearweirdme]

Heeyy!

Squatting your asks and straying away from the usual topics of these days' discussions cause I've been deep into SKZ content lately and I want opinions about something (please bear with me, this is going to be long but this ask is about taekook).

It came out like two days ago that Minsung (Han and Lee Know) are now living together, just the two of them. The rest of the members are also divided in teams of two in new dorms, so, in itself, it may not seem huge, but it is, because it's Minsung and if those two are not real then nobody is.

And how do I know that? Because honestly they've said so themselves. And so did their members. From calling the other their boyfriend/husband (or call themselves the other's bf/hubby) and releasing a very romantic duet together where the lyrics are a declaration of love, to their maknae justifying himself for sharing a room with them with "there was a time I really couldn't read the room" and the rest of group (especially Hyunjin) always mocking those two sappy asses.

Could it be all just fanservice? Nah, not all of it, no way. And frankly, all the power to them, I'm so happy for my obviously very very gay and very very in love boys, they just became the embodiment of "and they were roommates", but it got me thinking.

Because Minsung gets away with a lot. I've listed a few examples, there are honestly way more that I can't be bothered to cite right now, where their behaviour or what they say, taken at face value, in official content, is at best questionable or just outwright outing. And yet, nothing. JYPE doesn't really push or highlight them (which undermines the fanservice theory, in that sense they're not really a traditional kpop ship like jikook or woosan can be), but they don't shy away from them either. They just seem to... let them be. Counting on the fact maybe that it will not be picked up on at a worrying level.

In a way, they operate how Kpop companies have always operated on the matter. That is, not acknowledge a thing and count on people's willfull blindness and heteronormativity to explay away or diminish suspicious moments and set the general narrative. Throw in fanservice and "queerbaiting" to mess with people (hi Super Junior) and you obtain an industry where you can somewhat be open while always existing within the confines of plausible deniability (of course this is way more complex that this but let's summarize and, in the end, I truly think people underestimate how actually queer Kpop is).

Circling back to Minsung, that's also how you get people insisting to hell and back that those two are just friends while the only thing basically they haven't done to confirm their relationship is make out on a live.

But then, and I'm finally getting to the point of my ask (sorry for the time it took)... WTF happened with taekook?

I can't for the life of me understand BH's strategy on this. To not push their ship publicly once it got evident in private that they had a situationship, sure, makes sense. But why go to these lengths to separate them, to the point that people noticed it??

I honestly believe there was some kind of streisand effect with taekook, where a lot of people's tipping point for believing in them was precisely the fact that BH did their best to keep them apart, even resorting to frankly questionable methods (hi Burn the Stage editing).

Had they just let them live and be, would there have been as many taekookers as there are? Would Tae and Kookie's interactions have been so thoroughly analyzed instead of being considered the expression of a good friendship with some fanservice thrown in there?

Why not go the usual kpop route? Minsung are but the last names on a long list of queer idols and kpop labels fine with them existing under the radar. Why not imitate them? Why adopt a strategy that in a lot of ways backfired? It baffles me.

So yeah, if you have thoughts on this, please share. Others too. And sorry for this long ass convoluted ask, this whole thing has been going on in my mind for the few past days.

Hi @syneepsis !

I had to think on this a bit, because I know very little about Straykids and Minsung. You are kinda asking me to compare, but lack of knowledge prevents me from doing so. But, ofcourse I do have some thoughts and ramblings.

I’m a big believer in things standing on their own. Taekook and Minsung are from different bands, with different people in charge, in slightly different timelines. Straykids debuted after BTS, which might’ve been a factor (people tend to learn from what they see). Tae and Jk’s characters probably differ from Han and Lee know, which might also make a difference. All in all… so many different variables, which combined or on their own might explain why things seem different.

As for why I feel BH went as hard as they did. I think they are driven by money and power. Which is not abnormal for a music company. It doesn’t even matter much what their actual bond with BangPd is/was, I think in any case the fear of a possible scandal standing in the way of BTS’s success was reason enough for the company to set these boundaries for them.

Imo Tae and Jk’s relationship started when they were finally getting bigger. They had a hard start, being with a company who almost went bankrupt. It’s my understanding that people were already looking down on BTS because they were with a small company, a queer scandal might’ve actually ended their careers (or at least that’s what the company thought). I think when their relationship became known, the company felt that was a risk to undo what they had invested in. It’s very possible imo that feelings of resentment were also present.. but that’s going very deep into speculation and I believe the fear of a possible scandal would have already been enough to make them be harsh.

I do think they went extra hard and could have possibly toned it down. The way it appeared to us might’ve also been a combination of both the company’s rules and Tae and Jk’s own fears of discovery though. When you feel the eyes of a huge public on you and you actually see fandom discuss the way you stare at each other.. that might make you scared.

“Had they just let them live and be, would there have been as many Taekookers as there are?” I think there would have been way less Jkkrs for sure 😂. It’s hard to say, without coming out (which I think is a definite no in today’s Sk society) i think some kind of hiding would still have taken place. Tae and Jk are very physically close, the way they move around each other, the way they drift to each other.. it’s pretty hard not to see. We’ve been talking about how obviously Tae has singled Jk out.. imagine there being no limits.. it would become super obvious to many many people I think. Even now, we’re at a point where non-tkkrs kinda scramble to make sense of the Hawaii post without calling it fanservice. Imagine Jk not holding back and him talking like ‘I went skydiving with Tae’ instead of ‘i went skydiving’.

There will always be a huge part of army who will always go ‘they’re straight’ and maybe that would have been enough cover.. I don’t know. But I think in the eyes of the company, that was a risk they did not want to take.

[minecraft-steve]

the tattoos above are what prompted it, but the two below come up later!

i remember once upon a time, i was a teenager who overshared on here in moments of stress, but i don't think i have ever, truly opened up. i want to right now. i don't mind if this is reblogged or whatever, i just feel like chatting. and sitting on my closet floor to get good lighting for pictures.

tw for an honest talk about mental health. i won't go into more details than necessary and nothing extreme is required to tell this story, but i will brush upon serious topics that are common with depression such as suicidal ideation and self harm. i will try to keep the tone light though.

rent is a very special show that has shaped my life uniquely. i remember the first time i saw it was the movie on a streaming service, i must have been about 14 or 15. i had never seen anything, or anyone, like i saw in rent. for a little bit, it was just a really cool thing i obsessed over in the way a neurodivergent teenager will obsess over things. it was fun, i liked it, that was it. it was my favorite, but just because i liked rock and musicals. by 2016 i had started to come out as trans, and it wasn't going well. while i had some support, i was getting some real shit at school. i mean full blown mother of two teacher who prided herself on acceptance of queer students yelling at me on stage in front of the whole cast of the musical because i wanted a male ensemble costume instead of a female one kind of shit. i was over it. i had been having a miserable year because of some very recent, very horrific trauma i will not be getting into here, and i decided I Had Enough. after that moment on the stage, i decided that night when i got home i was going to end it. i was going to the dressing rooms to change when i saw a poster for auditions with a theatre company i had never heard of and no longer exists. they were doing rent, and it happened to be over the summer just a couple of months out. by the time i got home i decided i had to at least do the show, and then i could go. i figured i might as well go out having fun, and oh wow, i had so much fun. i instantly hit it off with several of my soon to be cast mates at rehearsal, something that had never happened to me because i was a very reserved, quiet kid. rehearsals were the highlight of my day and i cherished every moment. the comfort and ease i felt with the cast pushed me to feel comfortable with fully coming out. for one summer, we were a family. it turned out the directors, who had never directed, forgot to get the rights to the show. we never did have the show, but we had a workshop where we performed bits of it to a word of mouth audience. i don't think we even charged anything, but i don't remember. what i do remember is countless hours with incredible people i got to hang out with that bled into the following years until i moved away. rent continued to follow me after the show, before and after the move. my first tattoo, the semicolon, i got with two of my former cast mates to celebrate me living to 18 as well as acknowledge my relationship with suicide from the people around me. that meaning has only grown for me with age, unfortunately. later on, i got to see the beginning of the 20th anniversary tour with my dad, someone who hates musicals and hates driving to la but did both just for me. that's always going to be a special memory. i love him so much. i got to see the end of the tour with someone else who is practically my little brother, who is so special and so dear to me (and very likely reading this!! i love you!!) that memory is close to my heart too because after spending our childhoods growing up several states and one time zone apart, we had that time together. i also got my second tattoo matching with him during that trip. it's of our home state flowers interlocking, that coincidentally are both of my grandmother's favorite flowers. my third tattoo is a massive rabbit skull with meaningful plants growing up in and around it to form the ears that has so many layers of meaning and growth in itself, all covering up old self harm scars. a dear friend i met during some of the worst times of my life drew it for me. i would have never grown enough for the third tattoo if i hadn't gotten so attached to rent because the depth of the meaning behind "no day but today" has been why i found my way out of the pull between hiding in the past and escaping into the future. after going through a horrible ending to 2024, i knew what my next tattoo would be on jan. 1, 2025 when i needed something to change for the better, and now i have it. i don't know what the future holds, but i know right now i have people i love to keep close to my heart.

there's only us, / there's only now,

there's only this, / there's only here,

forget regret, / give into love,

or life is yours to miss / or live in fear

no other road / no other path

no other way, no day but today

[poochiray]

The Trainee and my final thoughts

Although the acting and cinematography was beautiful within this show, the writing and directing choices truly let me down. This show had so much potential. It was shaping up to be my favorite OffGun show. And then that drastically changed as OffGun were pushed aside in their own show.

I think the writers forgot who was supposed to be the main character within their own story. This wasn't called "The Trainees" it was "The Trainee." Ryan was the central focus since the very beginning, and I expected that throughout its entirety. There is nothing more frustrating than getting attached to a character and their story and then being starved of it in the second half of the series. I was just hoping and praying the next episode will have more of him.

And the story they decided to focus on instead? Garbage.

Yes, I get it. That could be someone's real life experience right there. Exploring queerness and only ever knowing your high school sweetheart. But we didn't need all that alongside Ryan and Jane's story. Or if we did need to show it, their romance could have been more off screen. Maybe Ryan could have heard about Judy and Bahmee going out for noodles and getting cozy.

But instead, Ryan's romance goes offscreen. Ryan and Jane were on the phone for over an hour? Um hello? Where was that? Jane asking Ryan to dinner again? What I would give to see another date scene for them! Or even more of an in depth conversation about Ryan and this being his first love. Or hell, even more of the Nine flashback. Those two were exes? Where was the romance? It wasn't there, but you know what was there? That fucking love triangle that did nothing but frustrate me.

Bahmee and Tae are not likeable characters. I honestly did not care any more about them. They are horrible and deserve each other. Let's move the fuck on.

Writers: a tip. Don't lose focus on your main character and waste so much time on other characters that aren't even liked. If their story can be cut, it should. Trim that fat and go back to your main character. I'm begging.

Things I would have changed:

Bahmee and Tae not getting back together. Stay single. Grow the hell up. Learn to be independent adults first.

Jane and the ghosting? What the actual fuck. This coming from the man who always told Ryan to "talk to him and tell him what's wrong"? Nah. I don't believe it. Don't ruin a character all for the sake of a dramatic 5 year reunion at the end.

Brave Ryan. This was my favorite thing about Ryan. He confessed his feelings for his superior. We could have seen more of that bravery. I would have loved to see Ryan push it further and actually pursue his mentor. Making Jane pull back and scold him for flirting with him at work! This back and forth would have been amazing!

A more proper goodbye. If that kiss in the car was their goodbye kiss, I wanted it more explicitly stated that they were breaking up. That they couldn't do long distance. Just more communication! And yeah...if they wanted to take things back to Jane's place because that was his last night there, I would not have complained at all. Jane is a fully grown man ffs. I don't believe for a second they didn't fuck that night.

A domestic slice of life ending. They went house hunting? Why the hell didn't we see it?

Honestly, why the hell was so much of this romance off screen? I came here for OffGun, and I feel like all I got was bare minimum. Sigh. Maybe their next show will be better than this. All I can do is hope.

[amazinglyegg]

Give us the headcanons plsssss

Ask and you shall receive! I wasn't actually expecting anyone to be interested in this so I'm hyped!!

Transfem! Danse Headcanons

I personally think that queerness in general is very normalized in the wasteland

Like, it's 2277. The Brotherhood doesn't give a shit what your gender is. Scribe Haylen would probably do your top surgery on the ground in the police station if you asked politely

What I'm trying to say is if Danse's egg cracks while he's in the Brotherhood "Not wanting to transition to prevent transphobia/sexism/general issues in the workplace" wouldn't be a reason to stay in the closet

It's more of the fact that Danse has created this little niche for himself, that he has so little identity outside of the Brotherhood that he feels the need to hold onto every scrap he has, even if that scrap is, well, "male".

My original idea for the drawing I made was Danse losing a bet/game/etc during his more ~wild~ Knight days and Cutler (plus some other knights) made him wear a skirt/dress/etc as "punishment"

And Danse is embarrassed and whatever, he's being laughed at, and then he goes back to his quarters to change and for the first time actually gets a glance at himself in the mirror and woah

It's more than a bit awkward - the clothes are ratted and don't fit properly, he's probably wearing his flight suit underneath, but there's a flutter in his chest that's more than just the lingering embarrassment of the lost bet

Egg successfully cracked. Now to just push down and hide those feelings about as much as he hid that dress in the back of his closet

I also wouldn't be surprised if he went through an "aw fuck I have a crossdressing kink" phase before he truly realizes he's trans

Partially because A. He's a bit repressed, both sexually and in general, and probably connects dresses and bras and general prettiness to "sexuality" rather than "womanhood", and B. It's common for your sex drive to increase once you start feeling gender euphoria

And he's completely oblivious about it all, too. He talks to trans people and watches his teammates transition and he goes "hmm good for them. I can't ever imagine what that'd be like!" And then prompty locks himself in his room, puts on a dress he "borrowed" from the lost and found, jacks off, and cries for 45 minutes.

It probably doesn't click for him until someone looks him in the eyes and says "hey man, you know you can just... be a girl, right? Like, 24/7 for the rest of your life?" And Danse is like oh my fucking god. Holy shit.

And let's be honest, with how Danse doesn't open up very much, that person would probably be Sole, and it'd probably be post-bb

Dealing with a gender identity crisis ON TOP of a synth identity crisis might be a bit much for him though so... let him take it slow

I would love to see Danse mess with his pronouns a bit - maybe she/they or she/he?

I can imagine him still having a strong attachment to his manhood, due to it being one of the only aspects of himself that really exists and isn't either ripped away from him (like the Brotherhood and Cutler) or a fake memory

So he'll go for demigender or bigender or SOMETHING not binary trans that includes both his current womanhood and his past manhood that he still connects to

The TRANS part of "transfem" is super important to him

Totally not me projecting with my own experiences as transmasc

ALSO I like to imagine he gets gender envy from the WEIRDEST things

Like Sole sneaks this shirt into his laundry:

And he is. Entranced.

Stares at himself in the mirror for the next like ten minutes straight

Haylen knocks on the door like "Hey Danse? buddy? You good in there...?"

And Danse is softly weeping like "I want them to be real... 🥺"

OKAY I'M DONE FOR NOW. I hope you enjoyed transfem Danse rambles. If you read this far congrats here's some pride edits for your commitment:

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

BTS can finally come out now that being gay is legal in SK. Actually they better do. I won’t stop telling that on Twitter until they see it. Enough w the drama and gay baiting for years now. ALL 7 of them.

Out of all the asks we've received over the years, this one truly takes the crown as the most disgusting and entitled one. Are you out of your mind? No, like, I mean that seriously, because not only did you completely misunderstand what happened but you are also trying to force people who owe you nothing except for new music eventually, at their own pace, into outing themselves for no reason other than because you want them to. Do you see how entirely fucked that is? Like pardon my language but I'm so pissed off, especially after the news about Namjoon earlier today, that I really don't feel like being polite at all.

South Korea did not legalise same-sex marriage, they didn't pass a law to recognise same-sex couples the way they do with straight couples. What they did was grant a same-sex couple equal rights to healthcare as those given to straight couples, which in the context of the LGBT community and South Korea is a major step that hopefully one day will lead to a better future for the queer community over there. You can read a more detailed articles about it here.

It is entirely fucked to think that the hard work of queer activists who are risking their lives to fight for a better future for their fellow queers has anything to do with idols, and the fact that your first thought is how BTS have to do this or that because of it merely shows how disconnected you are from reality. Regardless of the law, BTS could come out if they wanted to, if they saw a reason or need to, but they did not and chances are they will not. And you know why? Because of entitled people like you. And because they are humans just like us who deserve their privacy and live their lives in peace without the whole world looking down upon them like they're specimens being studied or animals in a zoo.

Even if all seven were truly queer, there is no law or reason why any of them would have to or should come out. It's an extremely personal matter and one that has nothing to do with their occupation, being idols and musicians. What does their sexuality have to do with their music? Nothing.

As for drama, you know who causes that? Toxic and delulu shippers, most of whom are straight themselves, fighting about things they've mostly made up in their heads themselves and convinced each other of it. Sure, maybe this is a case of pot calling cattle black, but I've never claimed to know anything for certain and I would never, ever, think I have any right to know the truth, let alone feel entitled to it or want to fight people over it. But there are people who feel entitled to outing their ship, to forcing them into admitting something that likely isn't true, and are willing to wage war against anyone who disagrees and even throw members of their ship under the bus if they act differently than what shippers want. Those people are the problem. But those people have nothing to do with the reality of queer people. If anything those are the people that show the queer community that we are nothing but a gimmick to them, a toy to play with and punish if we don't act right. And things will never change if people continue acting that way.

What Korea did is a great thing, a beginning especially during the time of an administration that is completely disconnected from reality and pushing agendas that are truly baffling at the best of times, so instead of trying to weaponise the results of brave queer activist in a country hellbent on shunning them, sit you ass down, shut up, and stop conflating real life issues and happenings with fantasies of delulu shippers and lives of people we have no right to.

[satellitesiren]

This is a piece of nightmare prose I wrote for Pride. It encapsulates all of my fears that stem from who I am, how I've perceived myself, and the general queer hellscape of never properly being seen.

TW: S/H, Dysphoria, Body Horror

Skin

It started with my skin.

The flesh sheet over the rest of my fuckup organic machine that has never ceased to come up with new ways to fail. Medical issues are something I'm intimately familiar with. My brain, lungs, blood, and eyes don't work properly. But my SKIN? That was new. Around the 9th grade, I would stare at myself to try and figure out what exactly was wrong, but nothing would catch my eye. It wasn't anything physically wrong with it, at least I didn't think so at first.

The only real way I can describe it, even now, is a primal need to rip it all off. It didn't belong to me anymore. I was wearing some other THING over the body I was familiar with. That was the intial thought.

"What is happening and how do I make it go away?"

It seeped deeper. That unfamiliarity no longer resided on the surface level, but penetrated more layers until I had to start taking physical action. Precision cuts to isolate the spread. It made it feel like I was delaying the infection to anything important. It was just skin, right? It would scab and scar and I could reclaim it as mine.

I have yet to do that reclaiming. The skin was the first thing I felt be taken, and I truly think it'll be the last thing I can feel like is mine again.

The mystery ailment that I couldn't detect with sight but could FEEL ruining my life? The plague that I still want to flay my body to get rid of?

That was my first encounter with Dysphoria.

"FUCK. I'm not a guy."

I mentally contained the feeling through those cuts. Buying myself more time until I was out of an environment that would kill me if I brought it up.

I got to college, where I lived alone and could explore.

Intense dread and panic were now my new roommates. The constant morphing of plans to mitigate this worst case scenario where any of my family found out that the son they loved has died, and was replaced with some unfathomable monster that doesn't have a name.

This is when I remember it hitting my

Brain.

It was undeniable now. I wasn't a cis man. I met people that taught me new words that could use to help identify the monster.

I learned it wasn't a monster, it was a large part of me and who I am.

"I'll still think of it as a monster for a few years, don't worry."

The term nonbinary was something I deeply resonated with. Not belonging on either side of the switch. Something extra, a way to sort my actual identity from all of the trauma that came from the actual discovery of said identity and whatever bled into the middle. We're the sum of all of our parts is something that was beat into me, so it is what I applied to my own gender science.

That middle part would eventually become the most important, but we'll get there.

My nonbinary experience can largely be summed up at first as mentally toying with the idea of androgyny, but never feeling confident enough to explore it through more than hypothetical what ifs in my head. I didn't OWE anyone androgyny but myself, and I didn't want to play into this notion that my identity could be boiled down to what the nonbinary representation I found online looked like.

It got muddier than that as time went on. My nonbinary became this weird struggle with things like facial hair, but wanting to maintain this aura of not quite something that's thought of as traditional masculinity but YOU'RE REALLY PUSHING IT maybe???

someone who was standing next to a person at a punk show with a battle jacket on

That's the best way to describe my nonbinary.

The people closest to me knew I wasn't a man, and that was a really really good feeling until it was no longer enough. I felt that same creeping that washed over my skin and my brain return. It yearned for more, I thought. I couldn't recognize this force as something benevolent yet. It demanded more of that I had thought of "me" as tribute.

It took my

Name.

I do not like my family. There's exactly 3 people I care about that share the same blood as me. The rest can go to hell, honestly. My birth name was this identifier that, as I experimented with genderfuckery, transmuted into a boulder.

Trans.

A term I never used because I didn't know it could go hand in hand with something like nonbinary. My newly they/them ass could not FATHOM that you can have multiple labels and flags and all of that cool stuff if you really wanted.

I thought about my favorite characters in media, and my grandparents during this time. The sexual trauma I experienced at a very young age started to come out from the murk, as well.

I wanted something different than the new gender I fought so hard for and the very notion of that was scary. I had gotten very good about keeping that infection in my skin at bay and not hurting myself anymore.

"... Am I a girl maybe?"

I NEEDED to have womanhood. I NEEDED to claw my way up a new sheer cliff to maybe finally fucking stop paying tribute to the deity in my head known as Dysphoria.

I thought about a new name for a very long time, and landed on Eileen.

From the cute mole from Regular Show, because her and Rigby's relationship is something that brought me great joy through a lot of failed ones of my own.

But most importantly, from Eileen the Crow from Bloodborne. A sad old woman, who could no longer dream but still kept fighting people who were lost to the horrors. A Hunter of Hunters.

Eileen the Crow is the most I've felt myself in a character, even though she has like eight lines total.

I'm an incredibly depressed nonbinary transfemme, and that's mostly how I got to where I'm at. I'm still finding new ways to live.

Still waiting for Dysphoria's return, wondering what they will demand as tribute next.

I think I caught a glimpse of that God when I had to come off of HRT, beckoning me back to another place of horror.

But they do it because it is the only way I'll ever be the real me. The collection of all of these trials will be the only way I can even try to feel whole. To feel like an actual person.

And so, I sometimes catch myself praying to Dysphoria. A sort of religious figure in my eyes to keep pushing my boulder and strive for the perfect me.

Thanks for stealing my skin, I guess.

Happy Pride.

[starsfreckled]

lil rant in coming . kinda prompted by the event . talking about gender & the fandom & ..basically a big ramble.

the story message is so darn cute. i love that amaya can tell young people that a form of love is self love & being true to oneself & your preferences. because amaya wasn't always out as NB. in 'my verse / my none tumblr wol verse / twt verse??' they came out during shb.

cause not all queer stories start with a teen figuring this out. some people are older. but people constantly shame older queer for coming out late... personally I wanted amaya's story to be one where, when they learn to forgive themself, to be themself, they also truly stand to themself. & for them, that journey takes up to shb. that journey takes them until they are 30. ( I am a not fully out yet NB person myself & I may never really come out irl because of how german works as a language & wanting to avoid troubles ).

& dunno. the fandom sometimes does not make it easy. like i know i started writing amaya as a woman but ya know. self discovery yadda yadda. I do write amaya as sb who has been living as NB since their younger years bcs I do not trust people to be able to realize why amaya may use she/her pre-shb & then they/them.

but the amount of times ppl go "well you know amaya is still kinda a she" why. cause they have a bigger chest? cause sometimes they wear a dress? cause they do not fit a stereotype of how all NB people must be androgynous? I am sorry they do not fit into this media & fandom pushed idea of how NB people must be. People really want NB people to be like a third gender when this is exactly what we are not. Legit some people still misgender amaya in asks or while talking to me. same with aze.m/asthelios.

& also ofc the eternal dispute of "amaya appears straight" cause some of their ship are with men. sorry to say, but part of it is.... if we talk about xiv canon women, as much as i love them - they all tend to fall under a same-ish archertype. we have way more diverse masc presenting characters where it is clear the devs put more love & care into them.

moen & ysayl.e were killed off for no good reason. shtola never got the same kinda development the male scions got ( nah imma say it, if shtola had been a guy the whole lifestream thing & aether sight would have had its own arc. alas it is 'haha funny we nearly saw her naked'). the moment the devs remembered minf.ilia is a really interesting character they got so scared they yeeted her off for over an expac only to have her be dead once we reunite. yotsu.yu died too. i really like zero but i am trying so hard to not be too attached bcs the game slapped she/her on 'em so all i see is a deathflag.

i am sorry then that people feel more inclined to ship their characters with the guys then. the saving grace in all of this are the rper here tbh who grab these characters & give them so much more life ( just as an example, @astherea 's shtola is just brilliant )

just no. amaya is not a straight cis woman. amaya is a deeply queer character & just 'cause they do not follow certain expectations does not mean people got the right to insist they are not queer. & I think part of it is the fandoms general stance towards femme writers & femme ocs. people see a chest & go "oh woman. probs only want to ship" when that just ain't the case... &...like. even if. why do people act like they are personally attacked by that???

i don't have a real conclusion tbh i dunno why the event made me think of all that but it just kinda got me to ramble about this even tho this is 80% incoherent screeching at nothing.

[rootspiral]

WANDAVISION DEEP DIVE part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

In which I continue looking through Agatha scenes in Wandavision, I want to get to AAA nowwwwww but I can't stop taking screenshots. I forgot how good this show is

We are on episode 6 and it's naughty couture time! (so much for less screenshotting)

Oh wow, these three together, very cute and not painful in any way! Also not foreshadowing or anything.

I'm not clear on this point, did Ralph have ANY free will or was Agatha just puppeteering him at all times? Because he totally sounds like Agatha doing a half-assed Quicksilver impression. You want to know about Wanda's trauma, don't you Fietro???

Bit much there, buddy. That's right. Too much ham. Off you go.

yep, that's Agatha's manipulative ass alright. and she almost got away with it too.

Episode 7, where Agatha can't wait to get her paws on those little boys and do horrible villainous things to them (like making them snacks and watch cartoons. And some light trauma)

That's why Billy's her favorite, he's such a mama's boy.

the exact faces the three of them will make when auntie Agatha tries to ghost-mom the twins

babies are delicious

why is she being such an ASSHOLE TO WANDA OH MY GOD. psychological torture for days and days and days

IMMEDIATELY tries to bond with Billy. she's also prodding for his powers but there's genuine kindness there too

Billy genuinely likes Agatha though, that's the thing. despite everything, even in the future he instinctively trusts her and seeks her out. in a way they kind of adopt each other

why does her voice get so tender goddamnit Hahn. you know Agatha is thinking about Nicky and having so many feels

this whole dynamic really hits differently now, doesn't it?

her body language with Monica is so threatening, she's containing herself but you can see she wants to KILL

At this point Monica and SWORD are approaching and there's not much time left, so Agatha takes another big risk and openly approaches Wanda - or actually, not *much* more openly. She goes from over-the-top neighbor to over-the-top witch, the same trick she always uses, except she never went against someone as scary powerful as Wanda. She is truly gambling here, and you can tell by how rigid her body language is. She's projecting strength more than feeling it, and I think she's using señor Scratchy both as a prop for her villain persona (hilarious. that's a cuddly bunny, you idiot!) and also as moral strength, she's holding him like a shield.

^^Agatha when she's purposely being a clown and fucking with people

^^the real Agatha, razor-focused, serious, and, more often than not, cruel.

Episode 8. We now know that Evanora hates Agatha because she was born with succubus powers - born different, born evil, queer analogies abound. Jac Schaeffer says that Agatha has never been loved by her mother or really by anyone before she met Rio, so let's just sit on that.

Here we have a very young Agatha, still a teenager, already up to mischief. Interesting that Evanora does not mention her killing anyone quite yet, Agatha's crimes are about seeking knowledge, something she'll keep doing all her life. She's already a self-fulfilled prophecy, she's being bad and going against her coven because her coven calls her bad and pushes her away. This is supposedly her family, her sisters, her community. She committed a bloodless crime, and they're about to execute her for it.

She denies, Evanora calls her out. Agatha is already refining her greatest skill: deception.

Can she control it? Did they ever try to teach her? And why is she talking about her powers now? She is not being executed for stealing at all, is she? And she knows it. (Also I LOVE that when Agatha is at her lowest she resorts to beg. Her survival instincts are stronger than anything, even her pride, she is self-centered to her very core. That's the only way she could ever survive.)

Evanora starts chanting "mors monstrum innaturale", death to the unnatural monster. And, I'm sorry, that's incredibly fucked up. It gets more fucked up the more I think about it.

"Watch this, Lisa. You can actually pinpoint the second when her heart rips in half."

The coven in an excess of prudence must have decided to kill Agatha in a joint effort, just in case her powers are too much for one witch or two. They thought they would destroy the so called evil with their moral superiority, they actually had no idea of what Agatha was capable of, and by her shocked expression, neither did she - she was never allowed to explore her abilities, not to such an extent anyway.

That's the same expression again, completely focused and merciless. I know I'm repeating myself but the real Agatha is anything but bombastic. Her emotions are subtle but formidable.

When I first watched this scene 3 years ago I came to the conclusion that Agatha was conning the Salemites in order to kill them. She was absolutely not. She is shell-shocked at what happened.

Hahn is very deliberately making understated choices here. No evil cackling, no gloating, just contempt and bitterness.

And I'm running out of space again but it was worth it, this scene was so interesting to analyze. Hopefully part 3 will be the last one for Wandavision

go to part 3

[deramin2]

Like, on the one hand it's very funny that both these series have basically the same ending (and opportunity for a new beginning), but I cannot stress enough for you how classic this trope is. I briefly considered listing off queer shows and movies with this trope, but it swiftly became me trying to remember every queer movie I've ever seen. Even "Big Eden" (2000) uses it and that is the most fluffy classic queer movie on existence.

In Big Eden, it helps the protagonist realize that the old crush he's been pursuing it's clouding his vision from noticing the guy who has a crush on him and is giving him increasingly elaborate home cooked meals for his sick dad every day backed by his gaggle of supportive old straight men who gossip all day on the general store bench. (Seriously you should watch this movie.)

Recently, Fire Island (2022), Bros (2022), Spoiler Alert (2022), Rūrangi (2020 - present) and The Boys In The Band (2020) all used breakups with the person they eventually get together with.

Queer media is all about exploring cycles and this is such a great way to get characters to reexamine what's important to them and what they truly want long term plus set real stakes for the relationship working out and no guarantees. It forces the characters to confront the old cycles they're trapped in and really ask if they want to put in the work and stand down their defenses to try something new that terrifies them.

There's comfort in the familiarity of the same old bullshit. You know what to expect, even if what you expect it's pain and lack of fulfillment. It's scary to try something totally new where you don't know what to expect. Where you might have to forgive someone and love them despite their flaws. Even love them for those flaws. Share each other's annoying vices even. The weed in Spoiler Alert ends up reflecting such a huge part of their arc and how they changed each other once they stopped being scared and lived for whatever moments were left.

So now here you have 2 shows about older queer men (sort of foot Aziraphale) who have been unable to hide their queerness their entire lives, but also have invested themselves as being good boys within those systems that reject queerness. And they're not kids working through this in their coming of age. They've spent half their lives denying themselves. Like, sure it hurts every day and it's slowly killing them and making them miserable bastards who push away the people that really love them, but they've also got a sunk cost fallacy in this. If they admit they've been wrong and there's no place in this system for their real selves, then they have to admit they've been wrong this whole time and all that pain was for nothing. Everything they put moral value all this time might be wrong and they'd have to trust their own flawed judgement instead of trusting a higher authority. (In Stede's case the rules of decorum for landed gentry inn colonial society, in Aziraphale's his faith in god.)

So they're on the edge of really making this monumental leap and they just panic. This moment means totally renouncing the life they've hurt themselves to make.

Stede goes home and realizes his mistake and gets not just permission but encouragement from the woman he felt he'd wronged the most. Then sets out to try and fix the mess he's made and get a second chance. I suspect he'll get it, but not before a lot of dramatics.

Aziraphale tries to give up heaven when he thinks he can only have it or Crowley. But when he's promised he can have both, have that acceptance he so desperately craves from Heaven and have Crowley, he jumps at that. Crowley did not. Season 3 or however the next part is released is going to be about Aziraphale trying to tempt Crowley too go back to heaven and Crowley trying to tempt Aziraphale to put it all behind him and be free.

Ultimately I think Aziraphale will get burned and realize Crowley is right. They can be like Beelzebub and Gabriel. This doesn't have to be black and white. It might be a little lonelier, but it's also much less toxic and oppressive and they have each other. That's worth fighting for.

But first, we get the classic queer breakup.

Neil Gaiman really saw the ending to our flag means death and went “hold my beer”

[erigold13261]

I can see FRAU transmasc NB Yinu actually giving up transitioning and going back to being a “girl” bc everyone but Neon J acts so horribly to them and after they announce that Mama, Remi and Eve celebrate the fact saying “things went back to as they should be”

[Adding on to the detransitioning transmasc NB yinu ask I think they also get scolded by Tatiana for being indecisive but she doesn't suspect that they didn't actually change their mind unlike Neon J who is the only one who suspects that]

No one would be celebrating Yinu detransitioning and Tatiana wouldn't scold Yinu for this (remember, Tatiana is also trans and she remembers how hard it was for her when she first came out so Yinu saying they are trans, and then later NB, would probably soften Tatiana up a lot actually).

Remi wouldn't be celebrating Yinu detransitioning because he wants to transition himself. If anything, he was hoping to use Yinu's transition to help his own case. Basically hoping Yinu takes all the initial hate but then gets support that he could use later on to help him transition.

Also like, Sofa is nonbinary. How the fuck would Remi be able to justify him being trans/NB-phobic to Yinu and celebrating a detransitionign when one of his best friends is also nonbinary? I'm almost positive Sofa would be willing to drop Remi as a friend (and so would Dodo and Tila) if Remi was acting like that. Yes, the Crew are more of pieces of shit, being angsty and assholey teenagers (and being basically bullies to Yinu at times), but they are also there to support each other (the Crew supporting the Crew, not supporting Yinu or the other NSRtists). Like this is going to sound super shit, but the Crew wouldn't make fun of Yinu for their identity, but WOULD make fun of him for not having a dad or their mom being smothering (which comes from their own projections because of their own families, and it's absolutely not right, but not the queer-phobic attitude you are suggesting they/Remi has).

Eve isn't going to give a shit about Yinu and her identity. She's not celebrating or caring all that much. The only thing she would have to say is some shitty mean-girl comments to Yinu about being indecisive, but that's to just be a bitch and hurt Yinu's feelings (similar thing with Remi, she would be saying things that are micro-aggressions just to make him upset so she feels better about her sad life she is living at the moment).

And finally Mama. Mama would be supportive of her kid, whether Yinu continues transitioning or detransitions. Not the best support, since I do see Mama as the type to mourn the "death" of her dauther, but she'd still be there for Yinu and not celebrating (okay, well she might internally celebrate because she got her daughter "back" but she isn't doing it publicly, especially not in front of Yinu).

The only people who would be treating Yinu terribly for transitioning would mostly be the public, White (which is never done in front of anyone important), and Eve in passing comments. Yinu isn't really being supported by anyone other than Mama (and even then it doesn't feel like true support half the time) and kinda Tatiana, but also isn't being directly harassed or hurt by people close to him.

It's more of a neutral state that Yinu would be in. Very isolated and not a lot of people to talk to, but those who they can talk to are telling them to just do what feels right or to go away. Yinu doesn't really know how to feel, and maybe transitioning back would be something they would do, but not because of harassment, but because they aren't getting the correct information or euphoria since everything around him is not truly pushing for or against him at the moment.

Like, the only real support Yinu would be getting is from Neon J, and possibly Nova if Yinu is visiting Green (who couldn't give a shit about what Yinu is trying to identify as, and is one of the people telling Yinu to just do whatever they want/feels right). However, since Mama doesn't like Neon J, Yinu wouldn't have a lot of access to that support, but the amount of support that Neon J and Nova do give them is probably enough for them to realize they are actually really happy being transmasc and NB.

You are right though, that if Yinu did detransition, Neon J (and Nova) would probably be the only ones to really question it and ask if Yinu is truly wanting this or is just feeling pressured to have things go "back to normal."

Also, since I barely talk about him, Daray would probably be a small support for Yinu. He's my Necro Techno DJ who would have taken over Nova's position as Cast Tech Charter. He isn't really all the friendly, only caring about music and barely about people, but he would be a pretty casual conversation that Yinu would be able to have as well as being an outside influence as he is a newer member of NSR and not someone Yinu has known for almost her whole life. Even having a constant casual support would also help Yinu in times he couldn't get active support from Nova or Neon J.

Anyway, yeah. Yinu isn't being mistreated for transitioning by anyone other than the media (who I'm pretty sure Yinu would be very good at ignoring at this point) and some rude comments coming from Eve and White. Everyone else is either staying neutral/quiet, showing fake or causal support, or showing a lot of active support for Yinu.

[melto]

i think it is truly unfair to villainize thua. there is a very big difference between the issue of thua continuing the curse and ayan protecting akk but it does fundamentally come from the same place for both of them.

ayan has portrayed himself as a rebel who is willing and ready to fight against the systems of oppression, to only then protect the person who has been behind the curse targeting the rebelling students. thua was just someone who was remaining neutral because it was the easiest option for himself, to then be ready to risk it all to side with his community. ayan stirred things up, supported the world remembers from the sidelines and challenged teachers and students alike. he was such a major push for thua to get over himself and join in the protests. and then it turns out he knows that akk had been behind the curse (even if there was someone then behind him) and chose to protect him rather than stand his ground with his community, the people who have been suffering the most from the curse. it's a devastating shattering of ayan's image for thua. for him it proves that ayan is much more invested in his own self interest than the cause. and it's not like ayan is a bad person for wanting to protect the person he's in love with or to be focused on what he came to that school to achieve but it is a betrayal of sorts. to step back once things get harder and more real and ask for sacrifices.

despite homophobia being such a major player within suppalo, akk and ayan have not been direct victims of it in the way the others have. the world remembers have gone through so much heartbreak. they lost so much for being themselves. the rules, students, staff, and outside world punish them for their queerness that they could not hide before and are now choosing to proudly announce despite all the constant backlash they get. thua has been a constant victim of verbal and physical homophobia despite following the norms and keeping his distance from his community. these are things we see happen. akk and ayan had not been experiencing those things, and now ayan has decided to pull back from the protesting. it's us vs them, and suddenly thua realizes that he's not on the same side as ayan in the way he thought he was. there is a very real issue of lgbt people who are able to navigate life as "normal" dont stand with more vulnerable members of their community (this could be for many reasons and this post is not to judge them or speak on that nuance).

whether or not thua's choice to continue the curse is "right" does not erase his good intention. he's a teen full of shame and rage doing what he feels has to be done to move them forward. he's not physically hurting anyone, he really set out to just make some noise so they could get the ball rolling again. he is not trying to be a martyr with this and understands the consequences and is willing to take that risk. thua has been so silent about the injustice and he doesn't want to make the same mistake again or have his community suffer any longer. he and ayan are similar in that way, but they go about it differently because their motivations are not the same nor are their stakes.

ayan came in to cause some trouble and get answers about his uncle's death. and then fell in love and refuses to lose another person he cares deeply about because of suppalo. thua wanted to follow a path that caused him as few issues as possible. and while ayan's arrival was the initial intrusion to the stasis of thua's life, he was still ultimately radicalized by his own treatment and the treatment of members of his community.

it's not fair to deny either of them the nuance and merit they deserve.