#i truly did miss chatting with you!
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ultravioletbrit · 2 months ago
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I was recently stuck in a snowy cabin for a few days with no internet and I was extremely disappointed that I was not stuck with someone I have unrequited (not actually unrequited) feelings for, or an ex I’m still in love with, or someone I hate that I had to share a bed with. None of my fanfiction fantasies came true. :(
Plus, I couldn’t obsess over Regulus with anyone who understands for days. DAYS! I will be spending the day catching up on everything I missed because I have been going through Regulus withdrawal and I missed you guys!!
I hope everyone had a very happy new year and here’s to another year filled with massive amounts of Regulus obsessing with all of you!! <3
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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YEAH totally understandable, I have a zillion WIPs lying around for the same reason... I of course eagerly await whatever you decide on though! Also I have actually read it like four or five times lol it is a huge comfort and I was feeling down + still trying to write something at length about both fics so have to revisit them at least on occasion
AT LEAST FOUR TIMES i aint got any words other than thanky ou fro enjoyin the fic so much !! ♪(´▽`)♪(´▽`)
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syluss-littlecrow · 23 days ago
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release
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<Caleb x fem!reader>
where both you and Caleb end up doing more than butt heads about his given curfew for you.
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genre/warnings: smut, pwp, mutual pinning, mutual obsession & possession, jealous!Caleb breeding kink, multiple orgasms, a lot of cum..., perverted!MC, friends to lovers?, squirting, unprotected sex, morning sex, pure Caleb brain rot, it gets pretty nasty
a/n: Caleb, Caleb, CALEB XIA YIZHOU 😭😭 the way I've been giggling over Caleb while watching his story and going back to my home screen with Sylus looking at me with his arms crossed.... Anyway, enjoy this Caleb brain rot 🥹🩷 I'll do one with Caleb's military air force uniform when I can 😔🫡
I JUST SAW THE NEW BANNER DROP IM NOT OK IF ANYONES WONDERING.
w/c: 3.5K
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Effortless. That is what Caleb feels like when his affections come to you. It bubbles and boils over when he thinks he's able to put a lid over it, and it overflows instead. It leaves him so defenseless. Yet, he can't seem to stop. It's the only thing that keeps him going in this hell. 
The only thing he feels is the metallic necklace barely weighing on his chest. It almost feels like you're here with him. 
And if you are, he wants to keep you here with him. Forever.
His eyes slowly open. His eyes focus on the hologram clock hovering at the side. 
You're supposed to be back already. 
Caleb contemplated on driving out to find you since he has your location pinging on his phone.
Since when did you have that many friends in Skyhaven? Why doesn't he know about them?
He checks the messages he's sent you, all unread. 
Caleb has to remind himself to stop clenching his jaw and biting his tongue. 
His stare towards the door grows anxious by the minute. Then he strengthens his resolve and marches towards the door, ready to leave and look for you. 
The second he pulls down the door handle, the jingle of the door unlocking from the outside sounds and the door swings open, making you and Caleb jump when he catches you in his arms from bumping into each other.
“Caleb!” You squeal, flustered at the way you completely ran into him. His warmth is radiating over to your skin. “Are you okay? Where were you gonna go?”
You watch a small pout form on his lips. He truly looks like a puppy when he does that, you can't help but think. 
“Look for you”, he curtly replies, making sure you've regained your balance before he releases your arms.
You straighten your posture, and sheepishly touch the nape of your neck, immediately avoiding his gaze. 
“Ah, right. Well, I got carried away with chatting with my friends and all…” 
Caleb crosses his arms. His pout turns into a frown, and his eyebrows are scrunched. 
Shit. He looks mad.
You inch closer to him, your fingers grazing over his knuckles. 
“I'm sorry, Caleb. Don't be mad okay? I'm home now, safe and sound, in the flesh, aren't I?”
Caleb breathes steadily, keeping his expression the same, but when you take his palm and nuzzle your cheek against it, Caleb feels the anxiety and frustration dissolve. He wants to reprimand you about the curfew, and why he implemented it in the first place. If you’ve stayed missing for a second longer, he would have completely lost it. But the moment his palm nearly touches your lips, it all dissipates, as if it never existed. 
Caleb exhales a sigh of defeat, letting it go just this time, alongside the countless times he did. 
“Go shower. I left the heater on for you.” 
You respond with a cheeky smile that makes something in Caleb’s chest bloom, and he lets you go, watching you disappear into your room. 
Caleb hears a knock on his door. He walks over and opens it, watching you coming into view. 
“Is there something you need, pipsqueak?”
You squeeze through the crack of the partially opened door and occupy his bed. 
“I'm just bored.”
Even though Caleb cocks his eyebrow, he still sprouts his smile, walking over to join you on his bed.
“Not because you're trying to make it up to me for coming back past curfew?”
Shit. 
Your smile playfully drops to a pout. “I got carried away yapping with my friends. You know I didn't mean to…” 
Caleb crosses his arms again.
“I could tell. My messages were all left unread.”
You curl your fingers to your lips when you realise you've been caught.
Caleb seems upset but you still see the softness beneath. 
He sighs. 
“I'm doing this for your own good, pipsqueak. I don't like you getting caught up in this.”
Caleb likes to think that it is that way, but he knows that it's more than just that. 
“As you can tell–” you’re showing off your body–your arms first then your legs, then your abdomen. But what Caleb didn't expect you to do was lift up your shirt slightly, your skin exposed, and have your shorts hike up your thighs, just to prove your point. “Nothing! You can check me for tracking devices too if you want to.” 
Something snaps in him.
“So do you let your friends inspect your body like that?” 
He crawls onto the bed, watching the smile slowly drop from your face. 
Caleb’s fingers trace your bare skin, drawing goosebumps from how ghostly the touches feel. His fingers slide from the top of your knees, and towards your thighs.
“Do you know how worried I was when you didn't answer my messages?”
You’re about to part your lips to respond, but he cuts you off. 
“I was wondering what conversations you were having that you ignored me.” 
“Caleb–”
He’s completely trapped you against the headboard of his bed. He's trapped you with his stare. 
Caleb inches closer, until he's close enough. His eyes glance down to your lips for a split second before his gaze meets yours again. 
Your breath is shaky when he leans in closer. 
Then he turns away. 
What the fuck? 
You watch in disbelief as he pulls away, your breath still caught in your throat from the tension.
Caleb’s signature smile returns and you feel his palm stroke the back of your head. 
“You should go back to bed. It's late.” 
He turns to open his door for you to leave. 
“Maybe I should start coming home later too.” 
He pauses in his steps. 
“I don't think that's a bright idea, pipsqueak.”
You slide off his bed and walk towards his door. 
“Maybe not. But I have brighter ones that consist of escaping your curfew.” 
You’re ready to leave the room with your victory, that is, until the door before you completely shuts. You see his shadow tower over you from behind. 
You turn to face Caleb, your arms are crossed. 
“Didn’t you ask me to go to bed?” 
“Changed my mind. I wanna make sure you're thoroughly inspected.”
You’re facing Caleb, back on his bed again. He starts with your face, but he lets his fingers linger around your lips, brushing across your bottom lip. You turn away, and his fingers catch your chin, forcing you to face Caleb.
“No looking away.”
His eyes are devouring every patch of skin that exists on your body. Even though you're clothed, you feel naked when he has his eyes on you this intensely. His fingertips trace back to your lips and he slides it down painfully slowly–past your chin, down your neck, through your sternum, past your stomach, and stops right above the elastic of your shorts. 
You want to shift, but you realise you can't–your body suddenly feels weighed down to the bed, and that's when you realise Caleb has you held down with his Evol.
The softness in Caleb’s eyes disappears, and something else replaces it. You watch him tug your shorts off you, and all you can do is watch helplessly. 
His kisses tickle from your ankle, and he builds them upwards at an agonising pace, each kiss feeling warmer as he travels up your thigh. 
Your heartbeat only accelerates from there, watching Caleb inch closer and closer to your cunt. Your thighs tense up from the sensitivity, the warmth of his lips spreading over your skin when you feel his tongue come in contact with your skin. 
“That tickles”, your voice is soft, as if the defiance in your tone before never existed.
Caleb’s lips press against your clothed pussy. Despite the fact that you’re trembling slightly, you've completely soaked your panties, and Caleb is more than happy to soak them even more. 
He buries his tongue, wetting the fabric even further. The pleasure draws soft moans, but evidently, it's not enough. 
“Caleb… Could you lighten your Evol?” You plead. You want to feel him so bad. 
Your body instantly lightens, and you almost think you're gonna fall off the bed. 
Something else holds you down this time, and it's Caleb. 
He tilts your chin up to have your lips meet his, now his kisses melting off the thoughts in your brain. Warmth burns through your skin. It takes you seconds to realise Caleb is lifting your shirt off you.
The clothing article is the next victim tossed somewhere else on the bed. 
You take his cheeks to your palms.
“I really need you now, Caleb.”
The softness returns to his eyes momentarily. 
“Are you sure you're okay with this?”
“I'll hop off right now and head straight to bed if you don't”, you huff. Fuck, the anticipation is just clawing through your insides, begging for Caleb to do something.
He playfully scoffs. 
“We both know you wouldn't.” 
Caleb tugs your panties to the side, and lines himself to your hole.
He thrusts into you in one swift motion, and you feel it all the way in. It knocks your breath out of you. Caleb watches you helplessly gasp for air and adjust to his size. He’s just filled you so full. 
He’s still supporting you so you don't fucking pass out. He feels you scratch all over his back from the pressure but he stays still, at least, until you've adjusted. 
“Shit. You're so fuckin’ warm for me”, he hisses into your neck, trying his best not to thrust into you. You feel so tight for him, he feels so good just staying there.
He stretches you open for him–your pussy fluttering at the feeling of him filling you up. The pressure slowly fades and you quickly adjust to his size.
Your vision blurs when he thrusts into you from below–the sensation so overwhelming that it's making you tear up. 
“So good”, you sigh, struggling to keep your eyes open–almost impossible when his cock is hitting your g-spot over and over again. Sparks burst into your eyelids whenever he hits the spot and it's evident that he knows he’s able to unravel you just like that, so easily. 
“Caleb…”, you moan. Caleb’s still fucking you, feeling the way you're just squeezing him, watching the way your fingers have gone clawing his back to his bedsheets, the way your tits are bouncing from fucking you, the way your eyes practically form hearts when he knows he's hit your sensitive spots.
“Faster, please. You feel so fucking good.”
He knows you shouldn't have said that. You're the only person who can rile him up like this. How the hell are you making him break his resolve when he's supposed to be upset with you?
He leans in, practically hovering over you. His fingers cup your cheek and he forces you to meet his violet eyes. 
In your fucked out haze, you blink, confused when he slows down. He pulls out completely, and you're about to complain until he rolls your soiled panties off your legs, tossing it to somewhere on the bed. 
You gasp when you feel his thumb graze over your wet and throbbing clit. 
“I'm gonna make you wonder what the fuck wrong with your body”, Caleb’s voice reaches your ears. His words sends a shiver down your spine.
“Your little pussy is gonna throb every time you think of me.”
That's all the warning he gives before his arms tower over you, holding your wrists down above your head. 
He fucks you into an orbit and you're practically helpless–forced to take his thrusts over and over. But fuck, it feels so good. It feels like fucking heaven. 
You like how dizzy it makes you feel. You like how he's not stopping, no matter how much tears stream down your face, and how pathetic you sound crying and moaning his name. 
“Fuck! Caleb, it's too much–” you whimper, the strange feeling building up in your stomach. It feels like it's about to snap any second. 
He acknowledges your words, but he doesn't bother slowing down. 
“Didn’t you promise me to be a good girl and take all of it?” 
“Caleb–!”
Your voice sounds so heavenly when you call his name.
The fluids fountains out of you, soaking everything near it's vincity–including the both of you. Your orgasm continues to wash over you and more fluids spray out.
Caleb watches you squirm and jolt while you make a mess all over him. 
He lets go of your wrists, the slight redness forming onto your skin, and his thumb caresses your bottom lip. 
Despite your arms feeling sore from resisting against his hold, you wrap them around his neck, pulling him close to catch his lips. He's taken back for a split second, but he returns the kiss, letting his soft moans drown into your lips while you clench around him.
When you both pull back, it's Caleb’s turn to have his eyes glazed and his cheeks dusted a soft shade of pink. 
“y/n, if you keep doin’ that–fuck”, Caleb groans, his fingers closing into a fist against the sheets. His breath is shaky. The euphoria is threatening to spill over–the fact that you're trapping him in like this with you, just the two of you solely existing together right now–he could get high off this feeling. He doesn't need anything else. 
“I'm so close. Shit.” You watch the bead of sweat trickle down his temple, down to his cheek, to his chin, and then it disappears into the mess the both of you made below. 
Caleb’s voice makes you refocus on him. 
His palm presses against your cheek again, his thumb brushing lightly on the corner of your lips. 
“You're gonna take all of it like a good girl, yeah?” 
You nod, almost too eagerly. Caleb can't help but think that your face after being fucked looks breathtakingly beautiful. It makes him want to hide you further. The world doesn't deserve someone like you. 
He crashes his lips with yours, melting into the kiss while he pumps you full with his thick cum–making sure he has himself seated deep inside so nothing spills out. At least, not until he pulls out.
The high slowly descends, and the both of you are left panting, getting lost in each other’s eyes just for that moment before Caleb slowly pulls out. 
Caleb then reaches for the glass of water perched on his nightstand to offer you. You take a good few sips of water, and hand it back to Caleb, who takes a couple of sips as well. He notices the way your cheeks are still flushed and that you're blinking more. He plants the empty glass onto the nightstand, ready to carry you to wash up and probably change the sheets after.
In a daze, you notice Caleb’s cum seeping out of your hole in small loads. You wet two fingers and slide them to your pussy–and you push the thick fluids back in, your body jolting in pleasure while you're pretty much fingering your pussy with Caleb’s cum.
Caleb swallows hard while he watches you pleasure yourself. He’s about to say something but you cut him off.
“Your cum keeps leaking out”, you point out, giving him the full view of your cum-soaked pussy. You look up at him with an innocent, poison-soaked gaze–your lashes wet and your thighs trembling from each time you feel his cum leak out of you.
“It’d be such a waste–”, you mutter, shivering one more time when your fingers fuck you again, the room only filled with your voice and the wet squelching sounds from your pussy.
“–if it doesn't stay inside.” 
You barely have time to process what happens next. The next thing you knew, Caleb has your hands pinned above your head with one hand, and the other on your cheeks. His legs stop you from closing yours, and you feel his wet thickness hard once more, resting on your pubic bone.
“You know, pipsqueak”, his voice drops an octave lower. His voice is clear, and he makes sure you hear him. “It's okay to just ask for more.” His eyes reflect such a gorgeous shade of wild you've never seen before, and it looks fucking good on him.
No warnings–your cunt is just wet and sopping that Caleb stuffs you to fullness once more–you give up trying to keep your eyelids open, your mind only processing the way he’s fucking so deep into you again and again.
“You know I'll always give it to you.” 
The way his fingers are cupping your cheeks stops you from answering. Well, he doesn't need a verbal response, especially not when you’re clenching him so fucking tight when your orgasm hits you for the…how many times was it now?
You feel stings that slowly dull around your shoulders and chest. The bites Caleb’s given you are as red as the ruby on his apple necklace. 
The night is drowned with sounds and sensations of both you competing to send each other to the heavens. 
What day is it now? 
Caleb blinks his heavy eyelids open. He soaks in the atmosphere around him, and it doesn't take him long to realise that you're lying on his arm.
Thankfully, it's not numb. Your hair tickles his cheeks. 
He notices the light peeking through his curtains. It's probably daytime. 
Caleb presses his lips against the back of your head, while he pulls you closer. He almost jolts when he hears a soft moan coming from you.
For some reason, something feels funny. 
He attempts to shift slightly, and realises the predicament–his dick is still hard as fuck, and he’s still nestled so fucking deep in you. Fuck. Did the both of you fall asleep mid-sex? The feeling bleeds into him again. 
Are you even awake to realise this? 
Caleb bites his inner cheek, the hardness only builds. Shit. Even after all of that, you're still this warm and tight? 
He watches your breathing steadily. 
He hooks your leg over his arm almost too easily, giving himself easier access to fuck you deeper. Your sleepiness is slowly dissipating, overtaken so fucking quick by the burning desire once more.
His thrusts bear slight friction at first, but somehow that only adds to the pleasure–the rawness, the fact that he's left a mess in you and kept that way, and that he gets to do it all over again in the morning. 
“Ca…Caleb..!” You squeal, uselessly fisting the pillows while Caleb rails you from below. 
“So perfectly warm for me, y/n”, his morning voice dousing you. He takes advantage to litter more bites to the back of your neck and shoulders, and spoils you with his strained moans when he reflects the way you whimper whenever he hits your sensitive spots. 
You sheepishly bury your teary face into the pillows, and Caleb pushes himself impossibly deeper, forcing you to face him when you jolt in surprise. His violet eyes are eating you up. You hear his voice ring in your ears.
“Wanna make you cry more like this. You're so pretty when you cry when I'm splittin’ you open like this.” 
More tears stream down your cheeks whenever your g-spot gets abused over and over. Caleb forces you to meet his gaze. His thrusts are slower, but harder. 
“Shit, you're really gonna milk me dry, yeah?” Caleb hisses when he feels you flutter around him. Your cum is mixed with his, and drips down his cock, to his balls. 
Caleb pulls you tighter, deepening the kiss one last time while he breeds you full over and over for nth time since the last night, devouring your whimpers when the words you muttered to him last night comes into memory. You're so dizzy with pleasure, and Caleb has stolen all of your breaths. 
He finally pulls out, his cum endlessly drizzling out of your abused hole, and it almost sets him off again. 
Nonetheless, he forces himself to get out of bed so he can get a towel and clean you up.
Another loving kiss he presses onto your temple.
“I'm gonna get a towel, pipsqueak.” His husky whispers send shivers down your body, and the warmth of his touch lingers on your thighs for a lot longer than you realise.
He leaves the bed for the bathroom. 
You nuzzle into the pillows Caleb was just lying on, drowning yourself with his scent. The wetness that sticks between your legs–you can't tell if it's your fresh arousal or if it's his cum anymore.  
Not that it mattered since steadying your breath when you realised he was still in you when you stirred before him to see what he'd do next, gave you such a big reward. 
And you'd do it all over again. You would say things to get under his skin, just to get a rise out of him, just to keep his attention on you, always. 
You wanted to keep his strained voice when he called your name, the way he looks at you with so much desperation when he breeds you full, in a bottle and store it for your perverted indulgence. 
No one else needs to know that this part of Caleb exists, because he belongs to you. 
The dim light catches your attention underneath the thick sheets. You take the device, unlocking the phone with your fingerprint. 
6 missed calls. 
You swipe them away. You shut off his phone.
He doesn't need to know.
He doesn't need to remember.
At least, not when he's with you. 
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ibvix · 2 years ago
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Thank you for sharing your well developed and meticulous style of creating life alive … Your exquisiteness to breathe life in to Your Brilliant Creative Art, occurring almost simultaneously giving the life saving dose to the boy the world would forever consider living life alive !!!
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Someone said "Jonathan Harker but what if he was a Vampire but also still a dork?"
That someone might have been me.
#please do let me know if you wish chat or walk or huggies#yes please including just u and i isolated from all and beginning the#if you are completely comfortable please let me know as you are my only one you !!!#dracula daily#i need you in my life#everything else is secondary to the divine love and truth ... believe and trust#above all is true pure innocent love ... i am so beyond interested in all you do ....#i fucking miss you#ok now you've gone and done it ... true love infusion to the mind body heart and soul !!!#i miss you#never do i wish to be apart from you ... my life force#YOU ARE LOVED TRULY AND PURELY ... YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FIRST ONE AND ONLY LOVE ... YOU VOWED#NEVER EVER TO LEAVE ... AFTER 13 YEARS WHY ARE YOU NOT ONLY TRUE PURE ... WHY DON'T YOU TRULY LOVE ME ??? SO YOU ARE LEAVING ME TO DIE ...#I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I HAVE EVER HAVE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE OF DEATH#love you forever#what about tonight#ur loved and appreciated and you are really needed what are you doing ??? can you share so as to include me in your life ???#WHY DID YOU BREAK YOUR TRUTH AND VOW TO ME ???#you are my everything#YOU ARE FIRST ONE AND ONLY TRUE LOVE#WHY ??? YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING AND CARING BEING WHICH I HAVE EVER KNOWN#what a sweetie#thank you for being born#BUT I LIKE YOU SO MUCH#AND ADMIRE YOU RESPECT YOU YOUR TRUTH AND YOUR EXTRAORDINARY GENIUS ARE WITHOUT#nothing compares to you#please why must you tease me so cruelly ??? you are aware that you are the only one who is able to get to me#what is troubling you ??? please do share with me ?!!?#another reason why i love you so#WHAT ABOUT OUR UNITY AND ENGAGEMENT ???
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0097linersb · 8 months ago
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𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 (m)
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Pairings: Wooyoung x Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 15k ~
Warnings: It´s a smut so +18 MDNI pls
Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3
Part 2
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
As someone who has been single for the past 2 years, you often found yourself missing certain things and feelings. It´s not even the dating in itself that you craved, you were in fact, very content with being alone, and after all your inner healing and growth, you didn´t even think you were ready for a relationship at this point in your life. But as you and Wooyoung were on your couch lazily spending the afternoon, you found your body and mind screaming for comfort at the sight of the rainy day outside. 
Your friend had his head on your lap as he played some online shooting game on his phone, the movie you intended on watching now only serving as background noise as you drifted off, hands absent-mindedly playing with the strands of his hair that fell on top of your thighs.  
Hand-holding. 
That´s something you really missed. The feeling of interlacing fingers with someone as warmness spread through your body. When you were dating, you weren´t even that into holding hands, uncomfortable with not being able to move freely or with the way your palm seemed to always feel clammy – But now? You would kill for a chance to walk around a park linked with someone.  
You also really missed being so familiar with someone that you just felt at ease, having a person there to do nothing or everything with, being able to talk or gossip about anything. You remember spamming Mingyu´s chat with every little thing that happened during your day and him just being genuinely happy to hear about it, replying to every single message in order. As your best friend, Wooyoung was someone you talked to a lot, but you still couldn´t text him about how you already drank 6 glasses of water or how you were annoyed because your stapler kept getting stuck – Those are the annoying little things you only get to share with a significant other that has the obligation to put up with you. 
And showering together. You almost felt dramatic tears fill your eyes at the thought of it; sharing the hot stream of water with someone, have them rub soap down your back or massage shampoo onto your scalp, or just simply holding someone in the dark under the running water as steam filled the room.  
Oh, and free massages. You definitely missed those, being able to ask for a massage at whatever given moment with the certainness that you would receive one. Mingyu´s love language had always been acts of service, meaning you wouldn´t spend a single day without his hands squeezing your shoulders or rubbing down your back.  
Maybe you should call Mingyu. Something along the lines of “hey, I know we broke up a few years ago but can you come like, hold me for a minute? Cuddle until we fall asleep?” 
You were so touch deprived you could cry. 
There was also the intimate part of a relationship; You had tried casual sex, one-night stands, friends with benefits, even a Tinder hook up once – It just wasn´t for you. It´s not even the sex on itself that you longed for, you could spend another few years without it if it came down to it. But you did miss what came with being intimate with someone who truly cared about you. When it comes to casual flings, people are normally selfish (yourself included), doing the bare minimum to get the other person off but truly aiming for their own pleasure; it was nice being with someone who´s main priority was making you feel good without the need of having the “favor returned”.  
What you really did miss though, was a bit cruder: You missed the feeling of someone´s dick in your mouth, the groans and whines that came with it, hands tangled in your hair, your tongue tracing hot veins as someone praised you. You missed having someone´s fingers inside of you, your walls tight around them as they pumped in and out of you with ease. You also really fucking missed someone eating you out. 
You subconsciously pulled a bit on Wooyoung´s hair out of frustration but he didn´t seem to notice, eyes fixated on his game. You gently pat his head where you had tugged on the strands and went back to playing with his hair, letting your mind take you away once again.  
Again, it´s not like your relationship with Mingyu ended badly, surely, he wouldn´t mind if you called him up to go down memory lane for a night- 
You had never noticed how plump Wooyoung´s lips were.  
He had a habit of pouting when he was focused, or biting on his lips when he was extra concentrated – which he was doing just now as he tried to shoot at someone who was trying to kill him. When he finally managed to take out the other player and escape, he let his bottom lip go, now all red and glistening as he cursed out loud. They just looked so soft and plushy, and the mole he had on his bottom lip –  
You suddenly realized you were kind of obsessed with Wooyoung´s nose shape. You know what people say about big noses… Also, how good would it feel bumping against - 
“You´re being way too nice. What´s going on?” Wooyoung´s voice suddenly interrupted your thoughts, causing you to jump in shock and realization that you were just thinking about your friend eating you out.  
“I am nice, just not to you,” You correct, meeting his eyes which were looking up as you noticed you were still running your fingers through his hair. 
“I have very strong opinions about that, but either way, it´s what I meant. Why are you being nice to me?” 
“Am I?” 
“I remember very clearly the last time I asked you to cuddle me, almost got down on my knees begging and you just looked at me like I had rolled around in the trash.”  
“You were quiet today, behaving like a normal person-” 
“Go on, call me a good boy. I know you want to,” He rolls his eyes. 
You laugh out loud at that; he did know you well. 
“Nah, you´ve ruined it the moment you opened your mouth.” 
“Guess I´m a bit further from perfect than I thought, getting there though. How was the movie anyways?” 
“Oh, did it end already?” You asked, finally looking at the TV and realizing the credits must have been rolling for a while. “Wasn´t paying attention.” 
“What were you even doing?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, a second away from calling you stupid. 
“Thinking.” 
“About?” 
“Calling Mingyu,” You half-lied. 
At that, he managed to furrow his eyebrows even more, the biggest judgmental face he had ever sported looking up at you, “Why? Are you suddenly into him again?” 
“No.” 
“Then why?” 
“I don´t know, just-” 
“Oh my god,” His eyes widened, and he covered his mouth in shock. “It´s a booty call.” 
“It´s that what people call it these days?”  You ask, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole ordeal. 
“Oh my god, so it is.” 
“I guess?” 
“Y/N, it´s been like 2 years. I know you´re hot and he´s a man but I think that conversation would be kind of weird. Were you planning on texting him a wanna come smash?” He questioned you as he sat up. “Do you even have his number?” 
“No, I - I don´t know. I-  Let´s change the subject.” 
“Let´s absolutely not.” 
“You´re being annoying.” 
“Aren´t I always?” 
“Yes, defin-” 
“If you´re horny, why don´t you text that last guy you were going out with? He was hot too.” 
“Ew, don´t use the word horny.” 
“Would you prefer I call you needy?” 
Maybe you would, yeah, very much. 
“No, ew. Just stop talking all-together.” 
“So, why don´t you text him?” 
“You know I can´t really enjoy it much when I´m not like, close to the person.” 
“So you thought of your ex,” he deadpanned. 
“Yeah.” 
“Has literally not even one of the guys you hooked up with gotten you off?” 
“I mean, some of them did. But I don´t want to just get off, I-I- I don´t even know what I want, can we please chan-” 
“You want to be treated like the little pillow princess you are, got it.” 
Did he have to say it like that? Suddenly you felt the pulse between your legs raising its intensity. Oh god no, you were absolutely not getting turned on by Wooyoung´s crude choice of words. 
Anyone but Wooyoung! 
“Who says I´m a pillow princess? Am not!” 
“Ah, please. You scream I´ll bring nothing to the table besides looking pretty.” 
“Is that how I come off as?” You gasped at that, feeling deeply offended. “You´re full of shit.” 
“Why are you even getting mad? There´s nothing wrong with that, I´m sure you´re really good at looking pretty under a guy.” 
“Please stop picturing someone else fucking me?” 
“Who says I´m picturing someone else?” He winked at you teasingly. 
You literally, in your over 20 years of life on this earth, have never - not even once - thought you would actually choke over someone´s words. This was Wooyoung, you were used to his ways, c´mon! 
“Yeah, let´s not do that.” 
“Awn, pretty princess got flustered,” He cooed at you. 
You knew he was just teasing you; you knew there was no real sexual intent behind his words because that was Wooyoung, he flirted and teased as naturally as he breathed - but they still got your thighs tensing and you hating yourself for it. Couldn´t you just take a joke for what it was? 
“Although now that I´m thinking about it, I wouldn´t be surprised if you turned out to be a brat in bed. You´re already the biggest one normally.” 
“Look who´s calling me a brat,” You rolled your eyes once again. It didn´t matter if he was right or wrong, Wooyoung had no right calling anyone that when he was the way he was.  
At that, he presented you with the most attractive smile you think would ever exist in the world, a mixture between cunning, excitement and condescending, “You think I´m bratty?” 
“Oh, I´m sure of it.” 
“Maybe I´m just good at matching energies, you know?” He winked, teasing you further. 
“Fuck off. I know San forced you on your knees more often than I´d like to imagine.” 
“Because I allowed him to.” 
You snorted, “Yeah. Sure thing, honey. Now let´s move along, please.” 
Except that, your mind decided to in fact, consider his words. Wooyoung liked teasing and annoying people for his own entertainment, he whined at you every time he didn´t get things his way and he was always playfully flirting with everyone - and you meant literally everyone. Because of that, you had always just kind of assumed (but never spared it many thoughts, thank God) that your best friend was just someone who like to be dominated when in relationships, or sexual encounters for the matter.  
But honestly, you could kind of see it differently after his comments. It was true he always had everyone wrapped around his fingers and somehow, he always managed to get things his way - Wasn´t that also some form of control? The lines were kind of blurred when it came to Jung Wooyoung, but that was kind of even more attractive to you.   
“Oh my god, you´re thinking about it,” Wooyoung teased.  
“You´re the one who started it!” 
“You don´t have to stress your pretty little head over it,” He smiled, his finger finding it´s place under your chin to tip your face in his direction playfully. “I can show you.” 
Oh, absolutely not. 
Your eyes fluttered shut for a millisecond at his words, your guard crumbling surprisingly fast as you practically whimpered, “I know you´re joking but can we please not?” 
“Why?” 
 Couldn´t he stop giving you that annoying freaking smile? 
“Because I am kind of horny and I really don´t want to go there,” You practically growled.  
Now he was the one who broke character, not expecting you to be actually affected by his jokes, before the teasing smile was back on his face in a heartbeat - but you saw it. 
“Did I make you horny?” He teased. 
“Of course not, I was already horny before. I´m just in a weird mood.” 
It wasn´t necessarily a lie. If you weren´t already feeling some type of way since earlier, you would have never - and you really mean that - caught yourself thinking about Wooyoung´s stupid plump lips or if he could actually fuck you.  
“So, you were thinking about getting dicked down while I was here innocently lying down on your lap? You´re dirty,” He snickered. 
“It wasn´t weird until you made it weird,” You groaned in frustration. This is really not how you imagined your afternoon would go down.  
“Want me to help you out?” 
“Got any hot friends who are also not my friends?” 
“I do,” He nodded with his head. “But I´m also right here.” 
Your eyes almost flew out of your head. You always judged yourself as the only person immune to Wooyoung's weirdness, deeming that nothing the man did or say would ever surprise you since you basically were the same - but you now guessed the tests became harder as the years passed.  
“I can´t really tell if you´re joking-“ 
“I am absolutely not.” 
“Yeah, not going to happen.” 
“Why?” 
“Because!” 
“I know you can use your big girl words.” 
“Because as much as it pains me to admit it, we´re best friends. I guess?” 
“Now you´re the one who´s making it weird. You´re hot, I´m hot. You´re horny, now I´m horny. What´s wrong with helping each other out?” 
“What´s wrong is that I never really saw you like that!” You whined. 
“But you´re seeing now.” 
“Yeah, and I don´t like it!” 
“Tell me,” He raised an eyebrow at you, a devilish glint on his eyes matching his smile once again.  
“What?” 
“What you imagined me doing to you.” 
“Oh my god. Nothing!” 
“Oh c´mon, I won´t think you´re in love with me or anything. I know we´re friends and I´m a man, if there is one thing I can understand is simple plain old horniness.”  
“How is this so easy for you?” 
“Oh, I already imagined fucking you many times. In many different ways, too,” Wooyoung stated so casually, like he was talking about his shopping list for when he went to the supermarket later. “You know that one time at Seonghwa´s pool when you were wearing that little orange bikini? I must have made up at least 4 different scenarios, just that day.” 
“I feel kind of violated?”  
You also felt the way something throbbed in between your legs at his words but he didn´t need to know that. 
“As I said: I´m a man, Y/N. I love you and would never do anything to make you uncomfortable or fuck up our friendship, but there´s nothing wrong with fantasizing. It´s not like I actively decide to do it either, it just happens, I don´t know.” 
“Do you just casually think about fucking all your friends?” 
“No, only the hot ones. And it´s not something I keep thinking about all the time, I´m not a creep. Just once every blue moon hormone takes over or something. Also, you´re a fool if you think any of your other friends who are into women have never, not even once, thought about fucking you.”  
“Yeah, I´d rather be a fool,” You rolled your eyes. “Also, San hasn´t!” 
“San would quit his dream job in a heartbeat if I called him over for a threesome right now.” 
“Yunho then! He would never -” 
Wooyoung laughed at that, “Honey, I have something to tell you-“ 
“Please don´t.” 
“Anyways, you´re not lacking options to help you out. All I´m saying is that I´m here and I´d be more than glad to be the one,” He had the audacity of winking at you. “Since you were already thinking about it.” 
“I´m begging you to please drop it.” 
“Only if you tell me what you were thinking about.” 
“Oh my god! You know what? Let´s play your stupid fucking game, Jung Wooyoung. I´ll tell you if you tell me first.” 
“So, you do know how to have fun,” Wooyoung gave you a big smile, his eyes disappearing in happiness as if you had just told him you got him a new car. “What do you want to know?” 
“About the day at Seonghwa´s pool.” 
“Fun. I will use your own words then: I was in a weird mood that day and then you just took your clothes off and looked so good in that bikini. You were sunbathing and at some point in the afternoon you went inside Hwa´s house to get something from the kitchen and my brain just kept flashing images in my head: what if I followed you into the empty house, pushed you against the nearest wall and fucked you, watching as you tried to keep quiet so the others wouldn´t hear from right outside? Your cheek red from rubbing against the wall, your -” 
“That´s scenario number one.” 
“You want all of them? Kinky.” 
“I can just go-“ 
“Calm down, princess. See? I knew you were a brat.” 
“Wooyo-“ 
“Later when I was sitting down on the sunbathing chair with you while you were helping me out with the sunscreen, I noticed how my hand was so close I could pull the bottom of your bikini to the side and just slip my fingers in, right there in the open, no one would even notice. I wondered if you were already going to be wet and how you would sound trying to keep your noises inside with my knuckles deep into you. I couldn´t imagine a better sight than you all pretty clenching around my fingers or how you would look trying to casually spread your legs for me without anyone suspecting. I even went as far as imagining us getting caught, can you picture Mingi noticing what a little slut you are and trying to watch without getting caught himself? Poor boy wouldn´t know what to do with himself, would just loose his mind at how hot you´d look. I wondered if you´d like that he was watching –“ 
“That´s scenario number two,” You interrupted before the skin where you dug your nails into could start bleeding from your efforts to ground yourself and not squirm like an animal in heat at Wooyoung´s words. 
He was good, you had to give him that.  
Wooyoung laughed at you and you wondered if he had any clue about what he was doing to you. Then you mentally slapped yourself because of course he did, he had eyes.  
“When everyone went inside to make some drinks and start on dinner, you sat there on the edge of the pool and started kicking water at me. Remember that? I happened to notice the edge was just the perfect height for me to eat you out from the pool, and you even had your back to the door. We were all alone out there and even if someone came out, I would be hidden from their view in between your legs. I could picture my hands holding your thighs open and your back arching-” 
“Yeah, ok. That´s enough. I´m going to go, humm, shower or something and you can just like leave-” 
“Can I join?” He joked as you stood up. 
“No.” 
“Can I at least stay outside listening?” 
“What? I´m not going to mastu- Wooyoung, I´m just taking a cold shower.” 
“OK, go cool yourself off, princess. I´ll wait for you here,” He informed, unlocking his phone once again and showing you his screen where his game was loading. 
“Yeah, ok. Suit yourself.” 
“You really should let me listen as payback for getting me horny,” He screamed once you were already down the hallway. 
“You got yourself horny,” You screamed back before shutting the bathroom door behind yourself. 
You silently screamed against your hands as you let your body slide down the door. 
What the hell just happened? How many lines did you just cross?  
Why was Wooyoung suddenly so hot? 
And so, a cold shower you took and thankfully, after you left the bathroom, no one talked about the subject for the rest of the night and just pretended that nothing had happened. 
Except that now you were miserable and your mind echoed Wooyoung´s words every time you looked or thought about him. It was not optimal to be crossing your legs in the middle of class at university because you accidentally caught yourself staring at your friend´s veiny arms for half of the lecture. 
★  
“You´re still horny,” Wooyoung stated a few days later when you were literally getting ice cream after class. 
“And I´m actually mortified that you noticed.” 
“You´re being stubborn.” 
“We´re not fucking, Wooyoung.” 
“Dude, at this point I am genuinely feeling bad for you. We can ask Mingi or whoever, just please get some dick.” 
“You´re being kind of sexist-” 
“Y/N, you look constipated. I am worried for your sanity.” 
“Just shut up before I stop talking to you.” 
“I can use a blindfold or something if you´re worried about me seeing you naked-” 
“You´d like that, wouldn´t you? Submissive bitch.” 
“Don´t degrade me unless you mean it,” He winked at you. 
“You are actually insufferable.” 
“I´m just trying to help.” 
“You can´t because you don´t understand that this isn´t just about getting some dick!” 
“So what is this about? You tense every time my hands get near you -” 
“Wooyoung, this is an ice cream parlor. There are kids around, just shut the fuck up.” 
“So let´s go to my place.” 
“I´m not getting inside any closed spaces with you unless there are more people around.” 
“Kinky.” 
“Oh my god, you know what I mean.” 
“I know, just let me tease you. Ok, but seriously now, I think that in order for me to do my duties as a best friend, I need to understand what´s going on.” 
“Since when do you care about your best friend duties? You once left me behind alone at a party to get fucked by Yeonjun or whatever you two-” 
“Allegedly.” 
“No, Wooyoung. Not allegedly, it was literally me that you dragged to a corner to inform you´d be going upstairs with Yeonjun-” 
“No one knows what happened in that room.” 
“Yeah, thank god.” 
“Ok, whatever. Let me help you, tell me what´s going on inside that little messed up brain of yours.” 
“Nop. I really would rather lock myself inside the industrial freezer in the back.” 
“Yeah? Then I´m texting Mingi to go to your place and give you the fuck of your life tonight-” 
“Wooyoung!” 
“Y/N!” 
“Just drop it.” 
“No! Do you actually miss Mingyu? Or dating? Do you want a boyfriend? Is that it?” 
“No,” You groaned, hitting your forehead against the table.  
“So?” 
“Just- I need alcohol if we´re going to talk about this.” 
“Ok, let´s go to-” 
“Wooyoung, it´s 2 in the afternoon.” 
And so, he let it go for the moment, but the next time he saw a single drop of alcohol near you, he sat down next to you and crossed his hands like he meant business, a pointed look on his face. 
★ 
“So?” 
“This is literally my first shot.” 
“Then take it.” 
“Fine,” You begrudgingly complied, and you hadn´t even placed your glass back down before Wooyoung was already pouring you more. Figuring you weren´t going to escape this conversation, you downed your second shot and sighed in defeat. 
“Now tell me why you aren´t getting your back blown out at this very moment.” 
“It´s really weird talking about sex with you.” 
“We talk about sex all the time.” 
“Yeah, about other people, not about me, or about you suddenly being willing to fuck me- “ 
“Not suddenly.” 
“Yeah, whatever. Pour me some more.” 
“That´s what I like to hear,” He smirked at you, eyes glinting as he filled your glass up.  
“Y/N looks miserable,” Mingi suddenly stated, dropping his body next to you on the couch coming from seemingly nowhere.  
“Doesn´t she?” Wooyoung agreed, giving you a pointed look as you punched Mingi for the out-of-pocket comment. 
“Where did you even come from?” You asked the tall man next to you, excited for a change of topic. 
“The kitchen,” He absentmindedly answered you, hand busy filling up the glasses in front of you before handing you one. “Take a shot with me.” 
And so you did, hissing at the burning sensation and taking deep breaths to not gag at the taste of tequila. 
“OK, why does it look like your house burned down?” The man turned his attention back to you after smashing the empty glass on the little center table in front of you. 
Damn it, Mingi. 
You didn´t even have the time to begin forming any kind of excuses before Wooyoung  answered for you in a heartbeat, “Little Y/N over here is horny.” 
“Jung Wooyoung!” You gasped at his choice of words, thorn between hiding behind your hands, punching the man and apologizing to Mingi. 
Mingi, in turn, was frozen in shock mid pouring himself another shot. And you meant that the man wasn´t even blinking, mouth open and hands stuck in the air holding the glass bottle which you took from him afraid he would break it. 
“See what you´ve done?” You sighed to Wooyoung, elbowing his ribs as you tried waving your hand in front of Mingi´s face for a reaction.  
“Wait, what?” Said man came back to life, his voice way higher than what you´re used to. 
“You heard it, man. She hasn´t been fucked right in ages-” 
“Wooyoung, you know what you said about wanting to keep up with your best friend´s duties?” You asked between gritted teeth, about ready to jump the man and rip all of his hair out. “This is really not it.” 
“But you´re hot!” Mingi seemed confused. 
“I told her that!” Wooyoung ignored you. “I even told her you´d volunteer to help her out-” 
“I so would-” 
“Shut the fuck up, you two! Wooyoung, I´m about a second away from blocking you on my phone and never seeing you again,” You were also as close to ripping your own hair out. “Yes I´m horny, the whole world doesn´t need to hear about it.”  
Mingi noticed the crazy look behind your eyes and rubbed your back in comfort, he too knew what Wooyoung could do to people when he decided to be annoying.  
“It´s ok, love. We´ve all been there,” Mingi assured you and his words did soothe you a bit.  
“It´s just – You guys don´t get it. It´s not about just sex. I know I could literally fuck anyone at this party if I wanted to, I´m not dense. I guess I just miss dating but I don´t really want to date anyone at the moment?” 
“So like a friends with benefits thing?” Wooyoung pressed. 
“No, that´s just fucking with a fancy title. I mean like, I miss being touched and hugged and pampered and – I don´t know.” 
“Every time I try to hug you, you freeze and glare at me!” Mingi pouted. 
“I´m just not a touchy person!” 
“I know! That´s why I´m not understanding what you want.” 
“Just forget it-” 
“I get it,” Wooyoung interrupted.  
“Do you?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“You want a boyfriend without the obligations and feelings involved with a relationship. I was right, you´re needy.” 
“Oh,” Apparently it made sense to Mingi too. 
“Ok, and with that, I excuse myself,” You say, already standing up to go find someone else to hang out with because you were definitely not ready for the rest of that conversation. 
★ 
“What are you doing here?” You asked in annoyance after opening the door to your place to a very content looking Wooyoung. 
"I came to be your boyfriend-not-boyfriend,” He smiled proudly. 
"We're not fucking, Wooyoung,” You managed to sigh and roll your eyes at the same time. "Which is exactly what I told you the other 50 times you suggested it." 
"Who said anything about fucking? I'm just here to force the touch-deprivation out of you. Now move, I brought snacks," He said as if he hadn't already pushed you out of the way about midway through his sentence.   
You sighed in defeat, accepting your peaceful quiet night was ruined - You hadn't even locked the door yet and Wooyoung was already sprawled on your couch organizing the snacks on your coffee table, making way more noise than necessary.  
"At least you brought my favorite," You noticed, arms crossed as you stood up next to the couch.  
"These are all your favorites," His eyes were even shining with the amount of pride he had for himself. 
"Says who?" 
"Says me." 
"You called Seonghwa, didn't you?" 
"Only about the chips." 
"Knew it." 
"It's not my fault you literally change your opinions every day." 
"Welcome to girlhood." 
"Now sit down and I'll put something on Netflix." 
"Wooyoung, why-" 
"Y/N, listen," It was his turn to sigh. "You helped me through a lot when everything happened with my grandpa and you were always there for me when shit went down, just let me help you this once however I can." 
"Ok, got it. Enough with the sentimental talk," You quickly obeyed. You didn't like serious Wooyoung.  
"Now, are we feeling Criminal Minds?" He asked once you were sitting next to him, remote in hand. 
"Sounds great." 
“Perfect,” Wooyoung agreed as he put on the show, quickly standing up to turn off the lights before sitting back down and opening his arms. “Come here.” 
“Uh, I would rather not.” 
“I don´t care, we´re doing this.” 
“I don´t think forcing me to cuddle you will help much-” 
“Do you want me to really force you? Because I can,” He raised his eyebrow at you, arms still hanging in the air. 
“I´m pretty sure I´m stronger than you-” 
“Oh my god, just shut up,” He groaned and rolled his eyes at the same time, bending his body forward so he could grab onto your waist and pull you against his chest.  
Ok, yeah. He was definitely stronger than you. 
“Can you not make it so difficult?” He asked once he noticed how stiff you were in between his legs. “Stretch your legs, relax.” 
You decided against reminding him that he was in fact forcing you to do this and obeyed, he was just trying to help after all and maybe he did have a point: Some human touch might help calm your mind down. Also, the quicker you played along, the sooner it would be over.  So, stretching your legs across the couch you did, letting your body relax against Wooyoung´s, who contently wrapped his arms around you as you both turned your attention towards the Tv.  
Well, that lasted for about 10 minutes before you started feeling the heat of your friend´s skin radiating and everything started making sense: Being held by someone you loved really was comforting. Huh, who would have guessed? 
You generally hated being touched by people but right now you kind of felt like a cat, wanting to rub your head on Wooyoung´s shirt and snuggle into his warmth.  
“Can I play with your hair or will you bite my hand of?”  
“You can try,” You answered, not wanting to admit he was right all along and that you would very much like more of whatever this was.  
You could practically feel the roll of his eyes at your threatening tone as he pulled your head like you were just one big barbie doll, so your right cheek would be rested against his chest, turning your body to the side so now your right shoulder kind of met his chest instead of your back.  
“Ouch, you could be gentler,” You complained, rubbing your forehead skin where his palm was planted seconds before.  
“When you deserve it,” He grunted, eyes fixed on the Tv.  
“That was not very let me help you of you.” 
It was easy to tell he bit back his comeback, simply taking a deep calming breath and burying his fingers in the hair behind your neck, gently rubbing the area – Maybe you would purr. Judging you now had the upper hand, you decided to in return wrap your own arms around his wait so you could get comfortable and Wooyoung  gave you a cocky victory smile. 
Damn it. 
The two of you went through the entire episode like that and you were so relaxed that when Wooyoung stood up to open the snacks and grab some wine, you didn´t even complain about how that was a bad idea, sharing some glasses while you watched the second and third episodes and he tossed you around into every cuddling position you never even knew existed, discussing who you though were the killers and all the little gossips of the week. 
“You could create like a cuddling Kama Sutra,” You joked, kind of dizzy because of the drink – or because you had an incredibly attractive man holding you for the past 2 hours or so.  
“Will you quit complaining about my touchy personality now?” He smiled. 
“Nah, this was a one-time thing.” 
“Are you at least feeling a bit better?” Wooyoung asked, adjusting himself on the couch to look at you since you were now sitting side to side after the last episode ended.  
“Yes, actually.” 
It was true, you were no longer feeling like you could rip your entire skin off if you went through another second of someone not touching you.  
“I have one last move prepared,” He informed excitedly. 
“We´re not fucki-” 
“Oh my god, will you quit it with the fucking thing? If you keep bringing It up I might start thinking you´re interested-” 
“What was the idea?” You quickly asked, trying to cut the flirting off before it could lead your brain somewhere you spent the entire night not wanting to go.  
“Let me give you a massage.” 
“Wow, you´re really invested in this helping me thing.”  
“Contrary to your big mouth, I am a good friend. Sit down right here,” Wooyoung ordered, opening his legs and pointing to the space on the floor in between his feet. “Tonight I´ll take the neediness out of you the best I can since you refuse to go out and get some dick.” 
You rolled your eyes and ignored his remark, sitting down where he showed you and waiting silently as he gently gathered your hair and moved it out of the way. You cursed at how your skin erupted in goosebumps as his fingertips brushed against the side of your neck, your breath suddenly caught in your chest. 
You followed the realization that this was probably a horrible idea with another glass of wine, thankful he couldn't feel your heart beating fast.  
Wooyoung worked his thumbs in circles, digging them between your scapulae and pressing them up until they reached your shoulders, which he squeezed in the perfect strength to get shivers running up your spine every minute as he repeated the motion over and over.  
“How are you so good at this?” You whined, hating how your body was reaction to the touches. 
“There´s really nothing I´m not good at.” 
“Humbleness,” You offered. 
“That was a cliché answer, you can do better than that.” 
“I don´t care, just please never stop.” 
“I get that a lot.” 
“Do you really need to make everything sexual?” 
“I´ve always been that way, it´s not my fault that now that you´re horny it´s bothering you.” 
You hated when he put it like that, because yes. 
And maybe the way he sometimes would squeeze your neck during the massage or just the fact that he was touching you, were getting you feeling some type of way you would rather he did not notice.  
“If you were a girl, you´d understand,” You groaned. “Ovulation sucks.” 
“You actually just gave yourself the perfect solution, why don´t you fuck a girl?” 
´Cause what I really want is fucking you. 
Oh, wow.  
Where did that come from? 
“Speaking of which, do you even know how to?” You ask, admittedly kind of shy of asking such question.  
“Know how to what?” 
“Like, have- you like- With women?” You try, motioning widely towards the couch with your hands as if it would help you get your point across so you wouldn´t have to say the words. 
Wooyoung seemed to get it though, hands suddenly stopping on your back so you would look at him, “Y/N, you do know I have fucked women, right?” 
“How would I? You never told me!” You whine. 
“I thought it would be disrespectful?” 
“But when you told me how much you loved choking on San´s dick it wasn´t?” 
“Well, no-” 
“Or when you literally shared about how you thought about your fingers inside of me?” 
“You asked for it!” 
“I don´t believe you,” You narrowed your eyes towards him. “There´s no way I wouldn´t have known.” 
“Do you want like a list or something?” 
“What? No! That would be disrespectful.” 
“See?” 
“Ok, no, wait. Just tell me this: Lauren?” 
“Yes.” 
“Wooyoung, nooooo!” You whined. 
“What? She´s hot!” He was exasperated. 
“Oh my god, everything makes so much sense now.” 
“Wait, did you really think I was gay? We´ve know each other for years! I talk about women all the time!” 
“Yeah, but I thought you talked about women like Kevin talks about Beyoncé! Like in a slayy pussy  queennn way, not in a I´d want to fuck her way.”  
“Would you like me to go around harassing women?” 
“No, listen: I didn´t think you were gay, I just kind of never thought about it?” 
"You though I was just joking around with you the other day and you still got all hot and bothered?" Would he quit teasing you? "Kinky." 
“I thought you were playing and I didn't get any way!" 
“Whatever you say, princess - Wait, why did you think Ali was always hanging around my neck all these months?” 
“I just thought she was kind of crazy – Wait, did you fuck her that good? She wouldn´t leave us alone for a second, it was driving me insane." 
“I just told you there´s nothing I´m not good at,” He winked at you with a cocky smile on his face. 
You wanted to die.  
“Wooyoung,” You warned. 
“Awn, am I getting to you?” His tone was so sarcastic and condescending that a fire burned inside of you that you were afraid was never going out.  
“It´s the wine,” You assured, more yourself than him. 
“It´s always something.” 
“See? That´s why I told you I didn´t want to be alone with you.” 
“Afraid you´ll jump me?” He mocked. “I´m not scared.” 
"Just shut up. If whatever you're saying is true, I just want you to know you have the worst taste in women ever." 
"Well, considering I would love to taste you more than I would anyone else, I agree," He played with your words.  
“Go wash the glasses,” You ordered, the skin under your cheeks burning.  
“Yes, ma’am,” He answered with a laugh, immediately standing up and following along.  
When you were alone in the living room, your face fell between your hands in despair. 
You fucking hated Jung Wooyoung and his fucking giant noise. 
★  
Stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung.  
Fucking hell.  
Cursed be the day that man was born and cursed be the hospital and the doctors and the nurses and everyone in the world for all you cared. 
Your entire body was filled with rage as you opened the stupid coffee maker to pour the water into the compartment – which you had of course forgotten to fill 10 minutes earlier and almost burnt the whole office down. How would you explain to your boss that you started a fire because your brain was simply too busy flashing images of you sitting on your stupid annoying best friend´s face for the past 4 hours? 
It has been 2 days since the day at your place, 2 nights since you've gotten a decent night of sleep. "Why is that?" One would ask. Well, the answer would be that your useless brain decided to sabotage you, having you dream about your best friend over and over again – Which wouldn't be so bad if 90% of the dreams didn't consist of you ridding said best friend's face, waking up sweating and wanting to scream. 
At this point you just wanted to break Wooyoung's nose with a punch, so you'd never have to think about it again. After almost ripping your hair out in front of your computer, you decided on texting Hoshi for Mingyu's number - That's how desperate you were to get stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung out of your head. At least your friend assured that your ex was indeed single now and still didn't hate you, which was enough for you.  
Not really knowing how to tell your ex-boyfriend, after so much time has passed, that you just wanted him to throw you around, things weren't going as fast as planned and you couldn't keep avoiding Wooyoung forever – One, because he has no sense of boundaries and would just show up at your place if you ignored him and two, you really didn't want to have the conversation that would go down when he found out why you weren't around.  
It'd been over a week since you last saw Wooyoung in person, you were still in the talking stages with Mingyu, dreaming about your friend every fucking night and staring at his picture on the chatting app for hours while wanting to die. Now, you kind of genuinely didn't care anymore, Mingi and Wooyoung were right, maybe this was just about getting some dick – and you would find out if one could die of horniness if you didn't get some soon.  
It was Saturday night, Hongjoong decided to throw a small party at his place to celebrate his birthday and you figured alcohol was a good solution since stabbing a knife into your brain wasn't an option. You even invited Mingyu, hoping in person and after a few drinks you'd figure how to ask him to bend you over – The man said he would be pretty late because of previous scheduled commitments but that he would go. Your ex was an incredibly attractive man who knew his way around a lady, maybe you would see all your problems flying away after tonight. 
Except that after your first cup and some chatting with Mingi and Seonghwa on Hongjoong's couch, Wooyoung decided to arrive.  
You took one (1) - ONE, UNO - look at the man and grabbed your phone, shooting Mingyu a text: don´t come, party´s canceled. 
“Bro, your hair looks sick!” Mingi shouted before your brain could even begin to process what you were seeing. 
You were the one actually about to be sick. 
“Decided to try something new,” Wooyoung smirked, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you. 
You simply stared at him dumbfounded, glad he was too busy stealing the drink from your hands to notice your mouth wide open.  
Jung Wooyoung just showed up to the party with the bottom part and the front strands of his hair dyed blonde and you weren´t sure what kind of look that even was but you felt like it genuinely changed your whole life. You were pretty sure you got goosebumps when you first looked at him, lucky you were sitting down with the way your legs got weak. 
“What do you think about it?” He asked you after he was content with finishing what was left in your cup. 
“I hate it.” 
Well, you weren´t lying. Your nails were literally digging into the palm of your hands to try and get your head back in place - The new look made his skin look tanner, the mole under his eye darker, the shape of his nose - 
 The way he pushed his hair back, blonde strands surrounding his face - 
No, nop. 
No. 
“Since I know you´re joking, I´m gonna go say hi to Hongjoong and grab us more drinks so we can get this party started.” 
You let him go with absolutely no fight, eyes wide and glued to his form until he was out of your sight as Seonghwa led him to where the birthday boy was supposed to be. 
“Are you ok?” Mingi asked, noticing the crazy look on your face. 
“I need Wooyoung to fuck me.” 
Your brain definitely was short-circuiting. 
“Oh. Wow. Ok.” 
“I´m being serious. And I´m not happy about it.” 
“Hasn´t he been offering for like weeks now?” 
“Yeah.” 
“So just go and tell him.” 
“That´s not how it works.” 
“Oh my god, why do you have to be so complicated?” 
“I need him to offer again so I can say no, then when he insists, I will give in and pretend I´m kind of thorn about it.” 
“And why is that?” 
“So he doesn´t know he won! And I don´t like being vulnerable or whatever.” 
“I know we said you need some dick, but maybe you just need some therapy.” 
“Yeah, that too, but what I really need right now is your help.” 
“Sure,” Mingi shrugged. That´s what you liked about him, things were simple with him. 
“I need him to think I´m horny.” 
“You are horny.” 
“Yeah, but I need him to see it so he will joke about helping me out again.” 
“And how are you going to do that?” 
“Well, I could stand here with a bitch face all night, but it´s Joong´s birthday so I don´t really want to be like that. I don´t really have any other ideas-” 
“Touch me.” 
“What?” 
“Like, be touchy with me.” 
“Oh, that could work.” 
“That will definitely work.” 
“You´re good,” You complimented. 
“You should come to me for help more often.” 
“Don´t push it.” 
“Fine.” 
“You´re invested, huh?” 
“Move closer,” He ordered and you obeyed, sitting sideways on the couch so you were turned towards him, left knee touching his thigh. “Lean forward and put your hand on my thigh.” 
Despite your body´s discontent, you did as told. 
“And don´t flinch when I touch you,” He warned.  
“I feel like a spy,” You joked. 
“All this because you can´t tell a guy you want to fuck,” He rolled his eyes. 
“C´mon, pretend you´re not enjoying this, I dare you.” 
“Touché.” 
When your friends came back with more people tagging along, the first thing you noticed was the way Wooyoung´s gaze traveled immediately to your hand on Mingi´s thighs.  
Ok, yeah, this could definitely work. 
“Here, princess,” He handed you your drink, which you grabbed with your free hand.  
“Thanks Wooyo,” You smiled at the man before turning your attention back to Mingi, not missing the way your friend squeezed his eyes at you.  
Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t say anything about it, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch as a circle naturally formed in the living room so everyone could play something, and the first choice was the 007 game. You went along with the plan, hitting Mingi´s thigh instead of your own, touching his arm when you had to laugh, not going stiff when his hand met the skin almost at the hem of your skirt. 
You know what? Mingi was actually really hot too, if this night didn´t end how you expected it to, you were so horny you were just about considering asking him to fuck you.  
Whenever you looked in Wooyoung´s direction, you could practically see the engines turning in his head. It was just a matter of time now and you were already feeling shaky with excitement, which you weren´t exactly thrilled about – But then you looked at him again with that stupid hair and that stupid nose and that stupid half-unbuttoned shirt and decided that to hell with your morals and ethics. 
Mingi apparently decided his role in the ploy wasn´t enough for him, since after an hour or so passed by and people started standing up to go after more drinks or socialize with other people, he waited for Wooyoung to approach before asking loud and clear, “So, any luck with the getting some dick thing?” 
You were not exactly a good actress but you did know how to flirt, so not really knowing how else to react to the sudden improvisation, you smiled at him, “Why? Know someone interested?” 
“Yeah, nice to meet you. I´m Song Mingi,” He half-joked, hand still heavy on your thigh. “Oh, Wooyoung. You´re here, didn´t see you there.” 
He was good, you had to give him that. 
“I can see why,” Wooyoung answered, eyes pointing at the contact between you two.  
“Jealous?” Mingi asked his friend, his tone was humorous, but you could see the challenge in his eyes. Even though he was just playing, he couldn´t help being an egotistical Leo. 
“I wouldn´t say jealous is the right word.” 
“Did you know Y/N invited Mingyu over?” Mingi laughed. 
Wooyoung raised an eyebrow at you, eyes dancing with amusement.  
“I already uninvited him, asshole.” 
“Is that why you´re all touchy today?”  Mingi asked. Ok, you would have to buy him some ice cream after the phenomenal performance he was delivering. “Thought you would convince her to fuck someone, Woo.” 
“Believe me, I tried,” He shrugged. 
“Can we quit talking about me like I´m not here? Also, I´m not an animal in heat, stop being weird.” 
Well, weren´t you?  
Really? 
“You sure seem like it,” Wooyoung completed. 
“You look hornier than me, Wooyoung.” 
“I´m not denying it,” He stated matter-of-factly. 
“Oh shit, I forgot my phone with Yunho,” Mingi cursed, suddenly petting his pockets. He was so convincing you almost forgot he was helping you out. “Shit, shit, shit. I´ll be back later.” 
With that he stood up and quickly marched out of the living room, Wooyoung lazily taking his place next to you on the couch. 
“Were you really about to let Mingi fuck you?” 
“Maybe?” You answer, and well, that wasn´t a lie either. 
“Ouch, that kind of hurts my ego.” 
“Mingi and I are just friends, now you and I are best friends. There´s a huge difference there.” 
“So, you´re saying you´d fuck me if we weren´t best friends?” He joked. “Wow, thank you. I´m shy now. No need for all these compliments.” 
You rolled your eyes, not sure what to say that would lead you towards what you wanted, choosing to just be normal and hope the night would eventually get you there. 
“Why did you cancel on Mingyu?” 
“Didn´t think he would throw me around today.” 
“Someone´s getting bold.” 
“Shut up.” 
“I actually like frustrated Y/N, it´s hot.” 
“Then stop bothering me to fuck someone and let me be frustrated in peace.” 
“Well, that seems nice but I´m sure you´d look much hotter getting the frustration out.” 
“Are we back to the “you imagining someone fucking me” thing?” 
“I could correct you once again saying that I´m not imagining someone else, but since you´ve made it pretty clear that you´re not interested, I´m not going to.” 
That was it, that was your moment. 
“And what if I tell you maybe I am?” 
He stopped to give you a knowing cocky smirk that made you immediately regret raising the white flag, “I know.” 
“What? Ho- No -” 
“Y/N, you wouldn´t stop staring at me like you wanted me to destroy you in front of everyone while Mingi literally had his hand on you.” 
“That´s not -” 
“Do I have to pretend I think you were squirming because of him and not me? I can play dumb if you´d like. I can even go call him back if you tell me you weren´t wishing it was my hand almost getting under your skirt instead of his. So, are you going to give in now or are we going to keep playing this game?” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“We´re best friends, I know. But I don´t see how you avoiding me because you get wet every time I´m around is doing our friendship any favors either.” 
Ok, he did make a pretty good case even though you were already convinced like an hour ago. 
“You´re right.” 
“I know.” 
“So?” 
“I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s.” 
You stared at him, completely dumbfounded – also not liking how the tables have turned one bit. Wooyoung in turn laughed and sent you another playful wink, “Trust me, you won´t want anyone around.” 
“It took a lot from me to come to terms with this, so we´re either doing it tonight or we´re not doing it.” 
“Oh, princess,” He gave you a condescending look that got you wanting to rip his hair out. “I find that hard to believe, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“Y/n,” His voice was calm, hand finding its place on your thigh where Mingi´s was earlier, except this time the touch burned and got you fighting for your life not to squirm. “I said I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s, not that I´m not fucking you.” 
“Then let´s go.” 
“Now, that would be rude, wouldn´t it?” 
“Why are being like this?” You whined, about a second away from actually hitting the cockiness out of him.  
“You have this needy look in your eyes, like you´re ready to drop down and beg at any moment,” He smiled, his free hand gently tucking your hair behind your ear like he wasn´t talking about you on your knees. “It´s cute.” 
“You know what will be cute? When I ask Mingi to fuck me instead.” 
“If you can go to Hongjoong, in front of everyone, and tell him that we need to leave his birthday party right now because you can´t wait for me to fuck you, I´m good to go.” 
“Have you always been this annoying?” 
“Only when I know you´ll like it.” 
“You know you were the one asking to fuck me for weeks, right?” 
“I know.” 
“You just know everything, don´t you?��� 
“See? You´re hot when you´re frustrated.” 
“You think I´m sexually frustrated but now I´m actually just mad at you.” He simply smiled at you in return, and you rolled your eyes once you realized where you had dug your grave, “I forgot you have a degradation kink or whatever. Can´t even be angry at you in peace anymore.” 
“If you´re really mad at me, we should fix that. I wouldn´t want my best friend to be angry at me.” 
“I don´t think it´s possible to fix it considering being annoying it´s like your whole personality. Point proven.” 
“Come say that closer,” He winked playfully, and you seriously would cringe at the number of times that man has winked at you if he wasn´t Wooyoung.  
Ok, coming completely clean: You were also kind of annoyed at the way you were definitely getting wet at the banter between the two of you, like teasing each other wasn´t what your whole friendship has been about for years. 
It also helped that Wooyoung´s hand was still on your thigh, veins sticking out and fingers filled with rings that you just couldn´t stop picturing against the skin on your neck.  
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 
It took a second to decide if you would actually listen to that one braincell fighting for its life inside your head or not, but in the end, you decided against it, quickly standing up so you could sit on Wooyoung´s lap and take him by surprise as you straddled his thighs, one of your knees on each side of legs.  
Yeah, there was definitely something pulsing in between your legs. Fucking hell. 
You moved too quicky for Wooyoung to process what was going on, so it really was amusing the way he violently jerked once you moved your head closer, lips almost brushing his ears as you whispered, “What do you want me to say?” 
For a second you had almost forgotten it was Jung Wooyoung under you, but he was fast to remind you as one of his hands found its place on the side of your thigh and the other grabbed onto your waist, where his thumb brushed gentle circles against your exposed skin. He took advantage of the fact you were already bent down to say against your ear this time, “You never told me.” 
“What?” You asked, creating some distance between you so you could look at the smirk on his face and because you didn´t quite like the way you got weak when you felt his breath against your skin so closely. 
“The other day, we made a deal. You said you would tell me what you imagined me doing to you if I told you first, but you ran away after I completed my part. You owe me.” 
Under regular circumstances you would have stood up and left right then and there, but the way his palms met the front part of your thighs and started rubbing them up and down, a bit higher each time, got you wanting to play his game to see where it would end. 
“You´re right. That day was the first time I ever thought about you sexually, and you know what triggered it?” 
“What?” He smiled at the way goosebumps erupted all over your skin under his touches. 
“Your nose.” 
“So you like my nose?” 
“And your lips, but mostly your nose.” 
"And what about my lips and nose?" 
"Was just thinking about how good they'd feel under me," You look into his eyes, centimeters away from yours, thankful that Hongjoong had deemed the lights at some point of the night and now Wooyoung's face was illuminated only by a pink hue, coming from a fake sunset light your friend had bought on AliExpress. 
"That's good, ‘cause I've never wanted someone to sit on my face so bad before." 
“Careful,” You warned, inching your face closer to his, toying with the buttons on his shirt as your lips were almost brushing. “We still need to go back to being friends after we fuck and get this off our systems.” 
"I’m sure we can manage," He smiled, inching closer himself so now your lips were indeed touching as he continued speaking. "I'm a good friend after all." 
"Kiss me then, I dare you," You breathed out, shooting your last shot. 
He laughed at that, "You know I never back down from a challenge." 
But well, it worked. 
Wooyoung made his words true, grabbing onto your waist with a firmness that you didn't know he had to pull you closer. With your chests now glued, his lips finally pressed against yours and you hated yourself for not being disappointed. You so wanted the man to be all bark and no bite, but the moment his tongue met yours you understood why that girl wouldn't leave him alone. You had indeed kissed many people before, but it had never felt like this - and also, you were right, his plush lips were definitely something to obsess over. 
What didn't surprise you at all, was that like in everything else, Wooyoung was a tease. In some moments when you would deepen the kiss, he would pull back a bit and bite on your bottom lip just to laugh when you groaned in annoyance. When he felt you were getting frustrated at his little games, he would grab onto your hips and grind them against his – which well, definitely got your mind to stop thinking about how insufferable he was. Good thing you knew how to play too, hands finding the roots of his hair to pull harshly on it, almost passing out at the whine he let out.  
"I love that you're wearing a skirt," He groaned out. 
"Why is that?" You were so breathless you almost got embarrassed. 
"I can feel how wet you are." 
Fuck. 
"You must be imagining things." 
"Oh, am I?" The cunning smile he gave you along with those words should have prepared you. 
It really shouldn't have surprised you when one of his hands left your ass and snaked its way in between your bodies. You leaned back a little to try and understand what was happening, giving Wooyoung all the access he needed to get his hand under your skirt and press the pad of his middle finger right on your clit over your panties. 
"Told ya," He smirked in content at the way you gasped involuntarily.  
"Wooyoung-" 
"What? Weren't you the one who couldn't wait?" He teased, rubbing slow circles with his finger. "If you're already soaked like this, I can't even imagine what it would be like if I just pushed your panties to the side-" 
"No-" You whined, thorn between just letting him do whatever he wanted or stopping him - since you were very much in the middle of your friend's living room and there were people around. 
"Getting shy now?"  
“Wooyoung.” 
“That´s my name,” You could see in his eyes how much fun he was having teasing you. 
“You want me to stop teasing or stop touching you?” He mocked with a smile on his face, finger still working on you as you fought with all your life to not squirm on his lap. 
“You know what? If you want everyone to see, I can put on a show,” You sighed, accepting defeat. 
You expected Wooyoung to smirk once again but was instead surprised when he stopped and retreated his hand, adjusting your skirt back in place. Your heart dropped at the sight, searching for answers in his eyes, but they were busy looking somewhere else: Mingi had gotten back. You could see the way the tall man was frozen at the entrance, eyes wide and hand once again stuck in the air – this time holding his phone proudly. 
You sent a glare at the intruder (as if there were not at least 10 other people in the room). The moment Mingi´s eyes caught yours, he jumped as if he had just woken up from a nap and he tried mouthing something like “sorry” and “oh shit” so you just rolled your eyes and motioned with your hand for him to move along, preferably far away. He seemed to get the message, almost tripping with how fast he spun on his heels and left.  
“What? Weren´t you the one who wanted everyone to know?” You asked Wooyoung, tone pointy as you climbed off his lap. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over you. THIS WAS JUNG WOOYOUNG. 
YOUR BEST FRIEND JUNG WOOYOUNG. 
THE GUY WHO MADE YOU DRESS LIKE A CHEERLEADER TO GO TO HIS COLLEGE SOCCER GAMES AND CHEER FOR HIM, THE GUY WHO BURPED AND LAUGHED AT HIS OWN DISGUSTINESS, THE GUY WHO DID A CRISTIANO RONALDO IMPRESSION EVERYTIME HE WON SOMETHING, THE GUY YOU HAD TO ONCE RESCUE FROM A PIG FARM AFTER DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH! 
“Yeah, but I guess my protective best friend side spoke louder,” He sighed too, fixing his pants. “Don´t be mad.” 
“I´m not mad.” 
“Yes, you are.” 
“Yes, I´m mad. Ok? Cause now the magic is over or whatever and I realized you´re my best friend and we can´t fuck.” 
He turned around on the couch to be able to look into your eyes, his searching. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he simply closed his eyes, sighed once again and stood up, offering his hand, “C´mon. Let me take you home.” 
“So, Mingyu huh?” Wooyoung asked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear.  
“Don´t do that.” 
“Do what?” 
“Ask about another man and pretend everything´s normal.” 
“Well, I guessed that now that we can´t fuck we can go back to being normal best friends.” 
You locked your jaw and crossed your arms. You were angry and you didn´t even know what for – But you expected Wooyoung to fix it, nonetheless. 
“Use your words.” 
“No.” 
“Ok, then. Silent ride it is.” 
You huffed; aware you were acting like a spoiled child, but you were just angry at the mess inside your head and that your friend was not able to read your mind and untangle everything so it made sense. Maybe you really were just spoiled and angry you didn´t get what you wanted when you wanted. 
“Oh. I get it now.” 
“What?” Wooyoung asked, eyes moving from the road for a second to look at you. 
“When you call me a brat. I get it now.” 
“I was searching my brain for plausible reasons for you to be all sulky, for you to admit you were mad just because I didn´t fuck you at the party?” 
“Yeah? Not just that, but you know I don´t like when things don´t go my way, I just wanted everything to happen fast so I wouldn´t have time to think about it but then when I thought about it, I felt bad because I still wanted it to happen but I know it shouldn´t.” 
“Y/N, it´s sex.” 
“Don´t make me sound stupid.” 
“I´m not, you´re just really overthinking this.” 
“Yeah, that´s the whole point. And it´s all your fault, so you see why I´m mad now?” 
“Yes. I´m the worst.” 
“You are.” 
“Not when I fuck you, thought.” 
“The moment has passed, Wooyoung. The train has left the station. Deal with it.” 
“If you say so. Are you opening the garage, or should I park outside?” 
“I didn´t bring the tag – Wait, are you going up?” 
“Street it is then.” 
“Answer me, stupid.” 
“Yes, I´m going up.” 
“What for?” 
“You said it yourself, if we´re best friends and nothing more is ever happening, there should be no problem with me sleeping over, right? We´ve done it thousands of times.” 
“Yeah,” You squeezed your eyes at him. You knew what game he was playing, trying to prove you wrong – But you were also convinced you were more stubborn than him and that you would instead prove him wrong. 
“Slumber party, fun!” He exclaimed, taking the key out and tapping your thigh before leaving his car.
 ★
“Since this was kind of last minute,” You heard Wooyoung´s voice approaching your room, “I didn´t really bring any clothes.” 
And there he was, next to your bed in nothing but a towel around his hips, long messy hair slightly dripping down his torso and toothbrush in his mouth, looking all casual like you both knew he wasn´t doing this on purpose.  
The fact that it was working only made you even more annoyed. 
“You know where the drawer with your stuff is,” You groaned, pretending to look at your nails. 
He looked way too smug as he turned to your closet, opening said drawer to pull out some sweatpants. You kind of expected (or is it hoped the right word?) that he would just unknot the towel and expose himself to try and seduce you, but he behaved and simply pulled the pants under the fabric before unwrapping it.  
“Have you not heard about underwear?” 
“Have you not heard that it´s healthier to sleep without it? You should hang out with me more, I can teach you a lot.” 
“Yeah, I already see you enough, thanks.” 
“Come dry my hair.” 
“I think you´re perfectly capable of doing that yourself.” 
“Yeah, but I like when you do it.” 
You rolled your eyes and groaned, pushing the blanket out of you, “Fine.” 
Wooyoung walked to the bathroom in front of you, surely having planned the way his back and arms looked from behind. You had seen him without a shirt hundreds of times already, why did you feel like you wanted to jump him now?!!?!?!?  You figured you were over it after coming back to your senses but oh boy, were you wrong. 
“Has San been dragging you to the gym?” You asked as he bent over to get the hair dryer from the bottom drawer. You figured making small talk and acting normally would keep your brain busy. 
“Yeah. And you would know that if you opened the hundreds of snaps I send you every day.” 
“I´m not 14, Wooyoung. Snapchat died in 2015, sorry to inform you,” You joked as you plugged the dryer he handed you. “Give me the towel.” 
He did as told, sitting down on your toilet as you started drying the water excess from his hair. Doing your best so no part of your arm or leg would accidentally touch his skin since you could feel the heat emanating from it. 
That was no way of living. 
Once the towel was completely damp, you tossed it on the floor and grabbed a brush, ignoring how he closed his eyes in appreciation at the touch. You fucking hated him and the way your heart was beating fast for absolutely no reason.  
Now untangled, you reached over to get the hair dryer once again but were stopped with a soft touch to the side of your leg. 
You looked down at the man expecting an answer and he simply gave you a lazy smile, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you in between his legs, “Come here. Let me look at you while you do it.” 
Well, you let him pull you along because there was nothing really sexual about it, Wooyoung was just a touchy person and he looked like he was about to fall asleep anyways.  
You turned on the dryer and used your fingers to move his hair around so the heat would get to his roots, feeling the skin of your face heat up at the way he hummed in content. Wooyoung had a lot of hair, and not just that, but he had a lot of thick hair, so you were already aware you would spend a long time in there, appreciating the silence and the fact he was pretty much out of it so you could let your guard down. 
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY you jumped in surprise when both of his hands found their way to the side of your thighs, just very softly rubbing them up and down as you dried his strands, goosebumps erupting all over your body at the delicate touch.  
Once again, just sleepy touchy Wooyoung. 
Nothing new, nothing to fuss over. 
Except YOU WERE FUSSING OVER IT BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN YOU FELT A PULSE WHERE YOU DIDN´T WANT TO FEEL A PULSE. 
This whole situation was just so domestic and nice that it scratched a very specific part of your brain that got you wanting to live in that moment forever – except maybe not with your best FRIEND. 
“I like when you touch me,” His raw voice came out softly. “You don´t do it a lot, so I have to enjoy every chance I get.” 
You didn´t have an answer to that, the only thing you could think to say was “stop” but how could he stop when he wasn´t even doing anything to begin with? This time it was not his fault that your mind was in the gutter. 
“You have enough people touching you already,” You managed to string a few words. 
“Yeah, but it feels nicer when it´s you,” He opened his eyes, you could see the sincerity in them and you felt bad that you kind of just wanted to punch him and run away. 
You were also surprised by the sudden unexpected eye contact, which explains why you accidentally pulled one of his strands a bit harshly. WHAT WASN´T EXPLAINED THOUGH, WAS THE LOW MOAN HE LET OUT AND THE WAY HIS EYES CLOSED AS HIS MOUTH PARTED. OR THE WAY YOURS HUNG OPEN TOO AT THE SOUND OR THE WAY YOU COULDN´T STOP STARING AT THE STUPID MOLE ON HIS LIP. 
It was a moment of insanity, a few seconds when your soul was out of your body; when you tentatively pulled on his hair again, feeling his nails digging into the skin of your thighs and his breathing getting heavier, yours matching. 
“If you really don´t want us to fuck then you´re just being cruel right now,” He breathed out, eyes still closed as his forehead met your abdomen.  
“I don´t?” 
“Is that a question?” 
“No. I don´t. I think your hair is dry.” 
“It´s definitely not,” He argued, raising his head once again. “C´mon, finish it. No funny business, I promise.” 
You wanted to tell him it´s not him you were worried about, it’s the way your own body was betraying you that bothered you, but you took a deep breath and continued with the work, doing your best to ignore his eyes on you or how his hands were once again toying with your thighs or how his thighs were touching your legs or how he was centimeters away from you. 
Yeah, a lot of things to ignore. 
Was your bathroom always this small? 
“You smell nice.” 
“I shower once in a while,” You agreed. “And you said no funny business.” 
“I´m complimenting you, how is that sexual?” 
“It´s not,” You agreed. 
He smirked at you because he too was well aware of the tension, if the way his sweatpants were suddenly tight were anything to go by. Thankfully he didn´t answer because you don´t think you could continue to ignore it if he mentioned he was getting hard just by you drying his hair. 
Eventually, after what felt like days, you finally turned off the dryer and prayed he would agree to your suggestion, “You´re done. Wanna sleep?” 
“Nop, this is a slumber party.” 
“What? You want to have a pillow fight now or do facemasks and gossip?” You rolled your eyes. 
“Although the first option sounds fun, I was thinking we can watch something until we fall asleep.” 
Watch something. 
Until you fell asleep. 
In your bed. 
Sure, what could go wrong? 
“What are you doing?” Wooyoung asked amusedly. 
“Building a barrier between our sides of the bed.” 
He laughed loudly at that, crawling into the bed too and taking the pillows from where you were organizing them, “Wooyoung!” 
“Shut up, you enjoyed cuddling once and you will enjoy it again.” 
“Absolutely not.” 
“What? Afraid you won´t be able to resist me? I thought we were just friends,” He teased. 
“Very funny-“ 
“Because if you´re interested we can just skip the foreplay and go straight to –“ 
“What do you want to watch?” 
You ignored his low chuckle, giving up on fighting for the pillows and getting comfortable on your bed so you could turn on the TV. 
“Community?” 
“Great,” You agreed between gritted teeth, opening the Netflix app and putting on the show from where you two had stopped it as Wooyoung fluffed the pillows behind his back next to you.  
This time he didn´t even ask before pulling you in between his legs, your back against his chest. You didn´t even fight it because honestly, what for? You simply groaned as you felt him searching for the light switch on the wall over your bed.  
“Don´t pretend you don´t enjoy it, I´ve got you all figured out now.” 
“Yeah yeah, believe what you want to.” 
“Shut up, I´m trying to watch the show.” 
You huffed, rolled your eyes and crossed your arms all at the same time. You knew it wasn´t at him you were annoyed – although he was sure making a great job at feeding into it.  
You also immediately regretted wearing shorts as the palms of his hands splayed over your thighs.  
“It´s too hot,” You complained, hoping he would let you go. 
Wooyoung simply stretched out one of his hands and grabbed the AC remote, turning it on before tossing it away and returning his palm to your thigh. His silence told you he was focused on the show and you truly wish you could say the same about yourself, but instead, your eyes were glued to the sight in front of you like it was a car wreck, not being able to look away no matter how much your brain ordered you to. Your knees were bent, your thighs almost touching your chest, so his hands were just right there in your line of sight, all veiny and calloused.  
The harder you tried to stir your mind away and pay attention to the TV, the more your brain looked like a Wattpad fanfic written by a 40-year-old who just got divorced and discovered sex wasn't just missionary. The conversation you had with Wooyoung about how the girls he fucked became literally obsessed with him kept flashing into your head and you were legitimately about to bite onto your fist and scream for 7 whole minutes.   
Your mental breakdown however was interrupted by the man behind you, who with no words started tracing his fingers – seemingly – unpresumptuously over your skin. You ignored it because you had no energy to fight it and as long as it stayed PG-rated it would be fine.  
The soft touches plus the very cold wind from the AC hitting you got goosebumps to erupt up your skin and you just felt how your nipples were suddenly sensitive against the fabric of your shirt and Wooyoung´s hand were just there, mere centimeters away and oh, you so desperately wanted him to touch them. In fact, you wanted it so badly you were fighting for your life to keep the uncomfortable squirming to a minimum.  
Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t notice it – deep down you knew he was just pretending not to for your sake, but if he could, so would you.  
“Who do you think is hotter, Annie or Britta?” His voice suddenly, almost against your ear, shocked you. “Oh, jumpy, are we?” 
“Shut up, I was just startled.” 
“So?” 
“Britta.” 
“Same.” 
He went quiet once again, except now, when you thought his mind was once again focused on the show, his hands started getting braver. They escalated from just his fingers drawing shapes on the patch above your knees to suddenly coming down to the sensitive skin between your thighs. You jerked involuntarily even though he only traced his fingers about halfway down your legs. Wooyoung once again pretended to not notice your reaction and you pretended to not notice he was touching you.  
His fingers gently brushing the sides of your thighs all the way to your knees before you could feel the tip of his middle finger slowly grazing your skin down the inside of your thighs, lower and lower each time he came down. At this point your heart was beating so fast it was almost coming out of your throat, your breathing labored and sweat building up on your forehead even though the room was freezing cold.  
“She´s kind of annoying, though.” 
“Who?” You breathed out, honestly not even knowing your name anymore. 
“Britta.” 
“Oh, yeah.” 
Silence once again.  
Attention back to the show. 
You had to control your whine of disappointment when he retreated his hands.  
Ok, you took the chance to breathe, count to 10 and give yourself a pep talk. You could do this. You would not fuck your best friend. If not because of your morals and because of your friendship, because fucking him would mean he won, and you would never give Wooyoung the satisfaction. 
Ok, you could do this. 
You could definitely do this. 
Wooyoung gently gathered your hair and pushed it over your right shoulder, the familiar goosebumps showing up once again at the way the tip of his fingers brushed against the skin of your neck.  
Yeah, you could not do this.  
The sound that came out of your mouth when his wet lips met the juncture between your neck and shoulder could only be described as a pinscher finding out it could bark. You were in fact shaking as much as those annoying tiny dogs are known for. 
You froze, not being able to react when you felt him sucking on your skin or when his tongue tried to soothe the pain his teeth left behind. Your core was clenching so hard it hurt. 
“Wooyoung,” Your voice came out as half plead half warning.  
“Hm?” He hummed against a different spot on your neck, and it made it a thousand times worse.  
 “We shouldn´t-” 
“Just tell me to stop and I will.” 
Except you couldn´t. Not when he found your sweet spot and grazed his teeth against it before gently sucking on it. This time you allowed yourself to squirm and you felt it at the same time you heard it; Wooyoung groaned as you accidentally pressed against him and figured out you were not the only one going insane. His dick was hard and now very much pulsing against your ass and lower back.  
Both of you realized you never told him to stop and you were fighting so hard to gain control of your body back as he kissed the vein on your neck - but it was all lost when his hands snaked around your torso and grabbed your boobs. You whimpered, shamefully, squeezing your legs together to try and relieve some of the throbbing.  
His kisses grew harsher, as he sucked one spot hard enough to leave a mark, the pad of his middle fingers toyed with your nipples and you simply couldn't pretend you didn´t want this to happen anymore, not with the way you could literally start dripping onto your bed any moment now.  
A gasp left your lips when his right hand grabbed onto your thigh and pulled your legs open. You felt his dick twitching when he saw the wet patch in the middle of your shorts. 
“Oh, princess,” He sighed, pressing against the stain in pure admiration. 
“Wooyoung-” 
“Tell me to stop.” 
He gave you no time to consider his words, pulling the bottom of your shorts and panties to the side and rubbing his middle finger down your slit to wet it. You carved your nails onto his thighs in return, doing your best to stay grounded. It didn´t even take a minute for you to understand why the prior girls who slept with Wooyoung became obsessed with him, you weren´t really doing anything yet and the second the pad of his finger found your clit while his other hand gently pressed down onto your lower stomach everything became even clearer. You threw your head back on his shoulder in pleasure as he rubbed figure eights against your clit. 
Yeah, you agreed to pretend nothing happened starting tomorrow, but you figured you would never be able to forget the sound of your best friend´s deep moan against your ear when he felt you around his finger for the first time. 
“Glad to see I´m not the only one going crazy,” He groaned against your ear - and when did his voice get so raspy? 
You whined once again, not really knowing what else to do when you were practically on the edge from a minute or two of stimulation. 
“Tell me to stop.” 
“Wooyoung-” 
“I love when you say my name.” 
Were you about to cry? 
At this point, you just wanted him to ignore you and throw you around and do whatever he wanted, but you knew he wouldn´t until you said so, and you were definitely not doing that. Although with every second that passed with his finger on you, that definitely was turning more into a probably.  
“I never told you.” 
“Wha- What?” 
“From all the ways I imagined this happening, I never told you my favorite.” 
“What is it?” 
“It´s the one where we´re in a sleepover and you´re so desperate that you can´t even go to the bathroom, so you just very quietly put your hands inside your shorts and touch yourself right next to me thinking that I´m asleep. And I pretend I am, but I can hear the small whimpers you try to hold back, I can feel the slight shake of the bed and I can hear how wet you are so clearly. Sometimes, I even imagine you would decide to use me, not even try to wake me up, just sit on my face and ride it until I pretend to wake up and finally eat you out until you´re crying and shaking.” 
When you literally had to hold yourself back from finishing at his words, you grabbed his hand and turned around on your knees, smashing your lips with no fanciness against his. He was quick to grab your ass and direct you to sit on top of his legs, your thighs on either side of his in the familiar position as your tongues met and you pulled the hairs on the back of his neck with all the frustration you had inside you. 
“We´re not fucking,” You informed in between labored breaths. 
“We don´t have to fuck, I just need you to sit on my face.” 
You never whined so loudly in your life before. 
That was the one single thing you have been dreaming about hearing for weeks now and you were so happy you could practically cry, in fact, you almost came right there without even being touched. 
The link to Part 2 is at the top! <3
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5sospenguinqueen · 2 months ago
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Am I The Problem? | Franco Colapinto x Williams! Reader
Summary: After finding out you were going to be teammates, you and Franco have very different reactions. Franco is prepared to worship the track you race on whilst you do everything to ignore him. Until it becomes impossible to
Warnings: angst, swearing, the loss of a family member, a suggestive comment
Requested: Yes by anon (full request)
F1 Masterlist
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williamsracing just posted
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liked by jensonbutton, jackdoohan and others
francolapinto dream reality
18,200 comments
williamsracing welcome to the team. we’re so excited to have you become part of the williams family 
user1 so they’re replacing logan, an f2 driver promoted to f1 too soon, with an f2 driver promoted to f1 too soon?
officialmpmotorsport we’re very proud of what you’ve achieved this season, and good luck in f1
user2 this doesn’t feel fair. he’s getting a seat (amazing) but will be paired with a driver who doesn’t want him there
dennis_hauger 👏🏻👏🏻
user3 has anyone checked on yn? she was always so happy to be racing alongside her childhood friend, and now they don’t even get to finish the season together
yn_ln just posted
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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and others 
yn_ln i knew i was going to have to say goodbye at some point but i never expected it to be so soon. i couldn't have asked for a better teammate but at least you’ll always be my friend. i’ll miss you so much, lo lo, but i will be there supporting you wherever you go next 
23,096 comments
logansargeant 🤍
→ user4 signs of life! 
→ user5 the fact that she is the only person he has responded to
user6 even when she’s devasted, she stays respectful. literally the perfect role model for girls in karting
user7 chat, do we think yn will stay with williams next year?
→ user8 i don’t think she even wants to stay with williams for the rest of the season
→ user9 she looks so miserable any time she’s with them/james vowels
user10 poor franco. she didn’t even congratulate him on any of the posts
→ user11 because she doesn’t have to
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yn_ln posted a new story
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logansargeant replied wow so i really am easy to replace → yn_ln lo, no…  → logansargeant how many more times are you going to fall for that? → yn_ln dickhead  → logansargeant the internet was right. you are the personification of satan → yn_ln 🖕🏻🖕🏻
oscarpiastri replied haha the heart eyes are winning you over → yn_ln you can’t say anything, lando lover → oscarpiastri 🙄
user12 replied girl, did you cover up James’ face? 😂
francolapinto replied is that me?? 
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Thumb scrolling down your feed, you couldn't stop the wounded look twisting your face. Numerous tweets glanced back at you, informing you that your teammate’s fans had a very low opinion of you. Was it really a shock that you wouldn’t like journalists hounding your teammate? Had you truly been that mean to him that signs of basic human decency came as a surprise?
The door to your driver’s room was cracked open slightly, allowing you to catch a glimpse of the disconsolate body that shuffled past. A cap covered his usual mop of curls and his head hung low. All he wanted was to hide away in his driver’s room. Away from the hustle and bustle of the garage. All alone. 
“Franco.”
A soft voice broke him from his sorrow. He’d never heard it say his name before, and he’d certainly never heard that gentle tone directed at him. His head snapped up in disbelief. Spinning around, he moved too fast and stumbled slightly. A pink flush decorated his cheeks, realising he’d just embarrassed himself in front of the woman finally talking to him. Your head poked out of the gap between your door and the wall. Almost hesitant to bridge the space between the two of you. You weren’t even fully aware of when you had moved, or decided to talk to him. But here you were, staring at his brown eyes, widened with scepticism.
Committing to your actions, you pushed yourself into the hallway. Unused to such close proximity to you, Franco took two shaky steps back. He could almost feel the wall behind him. 
“I heard about your grandfather. I just wanted to offer my condolences.” Your teeth pulled at your bottom lip. “The media were out of line this morning.” 
“Oh, thank you.” 
Uncomfortable silence stretched between the pair of you. A need to fill it swelled within you.
“Nobody would blame you if you needed the day off. It’s not like we’re going to win any points in the Sprint.”
“I bet you’d like that. A race without me,” his tone was sharp, edged with grief. 
It was a stark contrast to the light, playful timbre you’d become accustomed to hearing around the garage. Hurt briefly flickered across your face, causing him to almost regret his words. But he’d had enough. 
He was tired. He was hurt, and he was not in the mood to be treated like he wasn’t there. Every day he hoped that you would finally speak to him. That you would smile at him, or share the glowing personality you had around the rest of the Grid. When he was still in F2, he’d been lucky enough to spend a day or two with you, and you’d been so warm and inviting. But, the person he was introduced to when he replaced Logan Sargeant hadn’t shown any sign of the person from before. 
“Wait, what? No. Franco, I just… Look, I found out from Twitter and-”
“It’s not like you give me the chance to tell you things in person.” 
Rubbing your hand over your face, you pondered whether you were doing more damage than good. All you wanted was to make amends, and not treat him like shit on a shitty day. Realising you couldn't make things worse, you decided to own up to your less-than-stellar behaviour. 
“Franco, I just wanted to say… I don’t really know what to say. Other than that, I am so incredibly sorry for the way that I’ve acted these past couple of weeks. Believe me, I’m not proud of my actions, and it’s been made very clear to me that I could be ruining your dream.” 
Your feet very subtly shifted closer to him, and his body was acutely aware of the smaller window of space between the two of you. The hairs on the back of his neck raised when the scent of your perfume invaded his nose. He loved that smell. 
“I’ve been so terrible to you. The internet knows that I’ve been terrible to you. And what makes it all that much worse, is that it doesn’t really have anything to do with you.”
Franco watched you inhale deeply before barrelling forward with your heartfelt apology. Your nose had pinkened from the exertion of your speech. Franco decided it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. 
“The truth is, I was angry. I was angry at the team, and the management, and the way they treated Logan was horrendous. But I didn’t realise that I was then doing the same thing to you, and I’m really sorry. I’m aware that none of this justifies my behaviour or makes it right but I just need you to know how much I regret what I’ve done. You’re so talented, Franco. If you had joined the team at any other time, I would’ve been flattered that you were so excited to be my teammate. I still am and-”
“Querida, breathe.” Franco’s lips curled in the corner. A small smile but the first time he had done so since yesterday. “I get it. You’re sorry. You were still mean though.” 
Your heart fluttered at the affectionate term he’d used. After years of working with Spanish drivers, you’d picked up a few words here and there. Unfortunately, his following words ruined any hope you’d felt. 
Scuffing your shoe against the floor, you avoided looking at him. “I know. I know. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you.”
Franco reached out, taking your hand into his. His palm was warm and heated against your cold, almost clammy one. He was endeared by how nervous you seemed to be. At his touch, your head finally lifted to look at him. You were taken aback when your eyes met his, realising he was already staring at you. 
“You could always give me your seat.” He let out a booming laugh at the look of shock on your face. 
“Oh, I get it, you’re winding me up.” You pushed him away from you but your combined hands just ended up pulling you into him.” 
“I wasn’t lying in those interviews. You really are one of my idols. It’s going to take a bit more than a tantrum for me to be mad at you. However, if you really feel you need to make it up to me, I’m not going to object.” 
A body turned the corner, causing you to leap away from the Argentinian. His eyes twinkled as he did his best to keep his face neutral. You scrambled to compose yourself when John, your physiotherapist, glanced between the two of you. He raised his brows before walking past you and into your driver’s room. 
“You have 30 seconds, Yn, to finish your conversation and get your ass in here.” He closed the door behind him, allowing you some privacy. 
Franco turned to walk away, knowing you liked to run on a tight schedule, and not wanting to infringe on that when you seemed to be making a shaky form of peace.
“Dinner!” You blurted out, voice bouncing off the white plastic walls. 
Staring at his muscular back, you watched his shoulders shake with silent laughter before he turned back to look at you. 
“What about it?” 
“Do you eat it?” How were you making this worse!?
“Yes, every day.” 
He wasn’t making this easy on you. 
“Maybe, if you’re not busy this evening, I could buy you dinner when we get out of here.”
“It would have to be early. I don’t know if you know this but I have a very busy day tomorrow.”
“I think I prefer not talking to you.” 
“I’d love to have dinner with you, Cariño,” Franco smiled, “so long as you don’t spend the entire meal sullenly glaring at me. It seems to be a habit with you.”
An irritated shout of your name sounded from inside your room, reminding you that you were well past your allotted thirty seconds. 
Not wanting Franco to have the last word, you looked at Franco before you entered your room. “I’m not sorry that I snuck an LS2 cap into your pile of hats to sign.”
His face turns from pure adoration to unadulterated offence. “That was you?!” 
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yn_ln just posted
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liked by jv.f1, lewishamilton and others 
its_yn my boy 💕
23,431 comments 
williamsracing took team bonding to a new level
→ francolapinto i aim to please 
user13 i knew that episode of team torque was carrying a different kind of tension
→ user14 no because he was so giggly and she was giving him full on banter 
→ user15 let’s not ignore how she kept blushing when she caught him looking at her
user16 she fell victim to the heart eyes
→ yn_ln how could i not? have you seen how intense they are? 
user17 oh no because now how do we tell who the biggest simp is 
francolapinto my lips are still waiting for that kiss
→ yn_ln come here then
→ francolapinto 🏃🏽🏃🏽💋
→ user18 oh no. now we have to deal with this instead 
logansargeant excuse me but where is his shirt in that last picture 
→ oscarpiastri completely scandalous behaviour. reported 
→ yn_ln piss off the pair of you 
→ logansargeant @/oscarpiastri pay up. she did my thing first 
→ oscarpiastri technically she did my thing first 
→ francolapinto she did both in the same day 
→ yn_ln franco!
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requests open. they may just take a while
coming soon; max taste part 3 and toto thirst
tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty @iloveyou3000morgan @justaf1girl
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songbirdseung · 2 months ago
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silly boy / park sunghoon
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your "friends" keep telling you that your new boyfriend is too much of a shy nerd for you, but they don't know how much of a man the silly boy is.
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the bar tonight was much quieter than usual, just a few people spread out in the tiny, cozy bar. quiet background music accompanied the murmurs of different conversations shared throughout the room. you were with your friends, laughing and chatting, having a good time, when all of a sudden, the smile on your face faded into a small frown. the conversation had shifted to your boyfriend, sunghoon.
sunghoon, park sunghoon. your boyfriend of two amazing years. he was currently at home, in his home office, working late. while you were out here with your friends, the same friends who never truly understood why you’d started a relationship with him in the first place.
don’t get them wrong—they thought he was gorgeous, practically model material, but sunghoon’s quiet, reserved nature wasn’t their idea of "boyfriend material." they’d often remind you that you deserved someone affectionate, someone who’d shower you with love openly and without hesitation, someone who wouldn’t be shy about showing the world how much they adored you.
but their words always went in one ear and out the other. because they didn’t see what you saw. they didn’t see how, behind closed doors, in the quiet moments away from the world, sunghoon clung to you like glue—superglue, even. he wasn’t loud about his love, but it was there, steady and unwavering, in every little thing he did. it never bothered you how he presented himself to others; his love for you was real, even if it wasn’t on display for everyone to see.
"i can’t believe you’ve made it this long with him," one of your friends said, breaking your thoughts.
you sighed, rolling your eyes. the urge to speak up, to defend him, bubbled in your chest. "you guys just don’t get it," you said, your tone calm but firm.
"we’re not trying to be mean," another friend chimed in, raising her hands defensively. "it’s just… don’t you want someone who’s a little more… present? someone who’ll shower you with affection all the time?"
you leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms. "he does show affection. just not in the way you expect him to. not everyone has to be loud about love to mean it."
"but, yn," another friend interjected, "you’re the kind of person who loves big gestures, who deserves to feel like the center of someone’s world."
"and i do," you countered, your voice a little sharper this time. "just because he doesn’t yell it from the rooftops doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. it’s in the little things. like how he texts me to remind me to eat when he knows I’m busy. or how he’ll wake up early to make sure my coffee is ready before I leave. or how he never lets me go to bed upset, even if it means staying up all night to talk it out. you guys don’t see that side of him because he doesn’t show it to everyone. he shows it to me, and that’s enough."
your friends exchanged glances, clearly unsure of how to respond.
"look," you said, your tone softening, "i appreciate that you care about me. but sunghoon and i, we work. and that’s all that matters."
just then, your phone buzzed on the table. you glanced at the screen and felt your heart flutter at the sight of his name. the message was simple: "don’t stay out too late. i miss you."
a small smile crept onto your face as you typed back a quick reply. your friends noticed the change in your expression but didn’t say anything.
"he’s not perfect," you admitted, putting your phone down. "but he’s perfect for me."
the conversation shifted back to lighter topics after that, but as the night wore on, you found yourself glancing at your phone more often than usual.
later, as you walked into your apartment, you saw him waiting for you in the living room, still in his work clothes, his laptop closed on the coffee table. his eyes lit up when he saw you, and without a word, he pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if you’d been gone for weeks.
"missed you," he murmured against your hair.
"i missed you too," you whispered back, your heart swelling with warmth.
and in that moment, wrapped in his arms, you were reminded all over again why their opinions didn’t matter. because this? this was love. quiet, steady, and unshakable.
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jedisupernova · 1 month ago
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life with choi subong (thanos)
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notes minors dni contains life before games, fem and aged up reader (same age as subong), always written with plus size reader in mind but truly anyone can read, a lot of made up lore to fill in gaps & build dynamic between subong and reader, smut (no distinct section. it is imbedded throughout; sexting, dirty talk, oral f and m receiving, vignettes of sub!subong, handjob, p in v, non-protective sex (don't be stupid,) public sex, foreplay, squirting), angst (lying, deception, miscommunication, arguing and gaslighting: cursing, pushing each other, one body shaming remark, a lot of name calling, insults, mentions of death, just being mean; this does not having a happy ending), toxic dynamic, mentions of drinking, drug use, problematic reader if you squint, i don't know how crypto works so don't yell at me, blatantly problematic subong, reader deserves better, a lot of dumbassery and some typos.
requested? no, this is an original idea! this is also my very first post, and i want to show what i can do! this is really long. like, really long. this is my interpretation of the character, i hope you like it and please be nice!
he was the nail that chipped the day after you painted them; the incessant promotional email that never filtered to the spam folder; the fly you repeatedly missed when swatting; the shoelaces that always came undone; the built up phlegm after a particularly nasty cough; the shirt that shrunk when you left it in the dryer too long. but what could you say? the dick was too fucking bomb ...
you met on the night of your friend's birthday. some time past eleven thirty pm on a saturday night at some dimly-lit nightclub in itaewon, you nursed a margarita, chatting with your friends and paying no mind to the re-arranging happening on the small stage some feet away from your table—a couple of speakers and a mic stand—nor did you look when the club manager made a half-assed announcement, followed by his exit and an old school hip hop instrumental filling the acoustics of the club.
subong was performing that night after begging the manager for weeks on end. it was a particularly difficult feat, considering the rap battle night he and seven other underground artists were part of two months prior ended in a fist fight after a set of insensitive bars about subong's opponent's family lineage spewed from his mouth without remorse. oh, can't forget the time he stole three bottles of cuervo tequila, or when he got so high he squirted someone in the eye with lime because they looked at him funny, or when he left such a monstrous shit in the toilet that he ended up flooding the bathroom when trying to flush.
alas, alas ... the melon streaming numbers spoke for itself (over 95k streams in total for his most recent mixtape), he just reached 10k followers on instagram, and all attention is good attention if you know how to work it ... and subong did, considering bookings went up when he announced he'd be performing this weekend prior to getting approval, cornering the club manager into a checkmate.
you noticed the slight commotion reverberating through the crowd when the music blared, but not enough to divert your attention wholly. when his set finished, he snuck into the crowd, snagging a rogue bloody mary from the bar and downing it without hesitation, turning his head sharply when someone from your party shouted his name.
your friend's boyfriend went to high school with him and hadn't seen him in years. with the way subong reacted, you would've thought they saw each other last week and were the best of friends, slinging his arm around his shoulders and capturing the attention of your table in a flurry. he was overtly charismatic, slowly coming around to your side of the table, eyeing you up and down without an iota of shame. he liked what he saw—his tongue running over his bottom lip.
he looked a bit try hard-y, in his loose fitting clothing, singular golden chain, and his black hair in an awkward stage of a grown out buzz cut—but admittedly he was fine. then you saw the layer of sweat shining on his tan skin ... oh ... he's fine.
"you like what you saw?" he shouted over the music, placing his hand on the table, inching towards you. he gestured to the now empty stage with a subtle flick of his head, leaning in to hear you. "that was you?" you said back. "i'm sorry, i wasn't watching!"
subong smirked, thinking you were joking, but his ego inflated nonetheless. "i—i rap!" he shouted, laying his palm against his chest. "i don't!" you quipped back with a grand smile, shaking your head. he had no idea his dick could get hard that quickly. "i work at a firm!" you say.
it could have been the sight of your glossed lips .. or his big brown eyes .. or your curvy hips .. full thighs .. his tattooed hands .. or the way his lips brushed against your earlobe for you to hear him .. or how your fingers brushed his hair back so he could hear you .. but next thing you know, his lips caught yours, and the next thing after that, his knees were on the porcelain tiles of the bathroom stall, head caught between your plush thighs, eating your pussy like a man starved.
subong's arms held your waist in place, not stopping your back from arching or your hands grasping onto either the wall or his hair, your breathy moans making his jeans feel as if he was wearing tight spandex. when you came—and you came hard—he pulled his phone out of his pocket and shoved it into your hand, "number. now."
"fucking christ, i just came." you said, breathing labored. "hold on." when he stood up, you reached down, pulling your underwear up. you eyed the time on his phone whilst adding your number to his contacts, sending yourself a text. you caught sight of his bulge when you gave his phone back. "you'll have to take care of that yourself. i have to go." you say, running your hands through your hair in an effort to not look too disheveled, even if your friends were smart enough to put two and two together.
you noticed subong take a prolonged look at you. he read your mind: "taking a mental photo for later." he explained, inhaling sharply through his nose. a smirk tugged at your lips. "oh yeah? i'll make it 4d." you palmed his bulge. he nearly lost balance, his gasp sounding more vulnerable than he would've liked—"f-fuck—ngh!" he bit his bottom lip, planting his forehead against yours. your touch was slow and calculated but firm, applying enough pressure to make his vision go fuzzy. "you're f-fucking crazy," his voice shook pathetically, eyebrows contorted in deep pleasure. "y-you f-fucking—ngh!—crazy bitch!"
you stopped abruptly, grabbing subong through his pants harshly. he mewled pathetically in pain. "call me that shit one more time and see what happens." "i'm s-sorry! f-fuck, i'm sorry! i'm sorry! please!" his breath hitched. "oh my fuck—please, baby, i'm so sorry!"
you gradually began palming him again, feeling his deep breath brush against your skin as his forehead returned to yours. his lips eventually latched onto yours, and you couldn't help your thighs rubbing together from how long and slender he felt in your hand.
your phone started to ring in your purse, which hung off the hook at the top of the bathroom stall door, undoubtedly a friend looking for you. you broke the kiss and ceased your touch, stepping around him and fishing your phone out before slinging your purse over your shoulder. "you better fucking call me." you say, kissing his lips again. "i will, will."
you eye his tent. it looks like it hurts and the zipper could break off. you didn't even realise you were biting your bottom lip until your phone rang again. "best dick i'll ever have." subong heard you mutter as you walked away, his cocky smirk stretching across his face in no time. he bit his lip when he saw the wet spot on his jeans. unbeknownst to either of you, this night would become the defining vignette of your relationship.
he called you the very next day. when you didn't answer—because your phone was charging on your nightstand whilst you showered—he sent a dick pic with the bottom half of his face visible in the upper left corner with the accompanying text: Like what u see? he chuckled reading your response: should have kept it a surprise
from that point on he spent his spare money (he didn't have much to begin with) on e-cigarette refills, pills, eyebrow threading appointments (he swore you to secrecy), and, perhaps his most beloved purchase, condoms. he always kissed the wrapper before putting one on.
subong tries to give the impression of someone who fucks but the reality is .... well .... he wonders how he got so lucky whenever he's stood at your apartment door, waiting for you to open it after he's knocked. it's been a lot longer than he'd ever admit under sworn oath, but his erratic thrusts gave it away so quickly it was concerning.
don't get it twisted, it felt ... fine. maybe okay on a good day. he filled you up at the very least! but if only it could last longer ... and didn't feel so ... jabby ... and if only you didn't have to keep in your laughter when his forehead fell to your shoulder ... after he came so hard his vein bulged out of his temple and his breathing was deep enough to power a fucking windmill .. only for you to glance at the time on your phone when a notif popped up and think to yourself ... has it really only been four minutes?
so when he's thrusting into you from behind one night, panting like someone's choking him and drilling into you feverishly, you take his temporary halt to catch his breath as your moment. "subong..." your voice ruminates with lust, aided by the intoxicating feeling of his cock resting inside you. you look over your shoulder at his glistening body, illuminated even in your dimly lit bedroom. "you feel so good, baby." you half-lie, internally cringing. either way, he can't tell, he's too fucked out.
"but how about we ... go a little slower? so we can last longer? hm?" you say. his breath hitches when you roll your hips slowly, his palms laying against either globes of your ass lifelessly. you were struggling to keep it together, eyebrows contorted and mouth agape, stretching yourself out on him.
"like this, yeah?—mmf!" you bite your lip. this is the feeling you've been wanting ... you've been aching for. "it'll feel so much better, subong ..." "yeah, yeah ..." he was breathy. his palms slid to either side of your hips, pulling himself in slow and deep. you gasp, "yes! like that! start slow, then go faster ..."
the moans and whimpers that escaped your lips ran every single porno he's ever seen into the ground. he pounded into you when you told him to, feeling the gumminess of your tight walls hug his cock so divinely that he felt for a split second that maybe, just maybe, the cross he always wore served a different purpose than carrying his stash of pills. subong, unsurprisingly, did not last long, but for the first time, you didn't either. "b-baby! f-fuck—i'm gonna, i'm gonna!—" you clenched around him, and he saw white. subong thought he had transcended ... what better way to go out ... death by the best pussy ... he came so hard and so much that he felt himself drip down his thigh.
you first started calling him over on sundays. then he started to come on fridays ... then staying the weekend ... then he came by on wednesdays for a mid-week fuck .. and slowly, but surely, he essentially lived rent free in your apartment. it was a major plus for him. he'd just been floating from one friend's couch to another. your studio apartment was small as is, barely enough for someone a few years into the workforce and even less on affordability—you barely scraped by on groceries. you'd have to make a wish on a shooting star if you ever needed repairs or healthcare. subong, on the other hand? he finally got to sleep in a bed again, and he gets to not only bum it out on another couch, but also eat pussy, get his dick sucked, and fuck on it. 10/10 no notes from him
and christ did you fuck ... one ankle on the coffee table whilst the other rests atop the couch, him pounding into you deep and deliberately, his eyes boring into your face as yours rolled back, mouth agape. once he found his rhythm and knew your body more, it was over. by the grace of the universe, his stamina heightened, too. he thought about reading war and peace and the meticulous process of the seasonal fermentation of various vegetables to thwart his orgasm from coming too quickly, but fell into a mumble of incoherent whimpers and profanities when he heard your beautiful voice tell him to "h-harder, s-subong, harder," or the cacophony of stuttered grunts leaving both of your chests; sexual pleasure in its rawest form.
one friday evening he was sat at the top of your now shared bed with his back against the wall, legs spread and looking up at you with his mouth hung open and eyebrows furrowed in inexplicable pleasure, watching you bounce up and down in fucked out bliss. you had a bullshit ass day at work—something about being denied a raise or being unfairly told off at a meeting—he didn't remember or really care, all he knew was he suggested you use him to relieve frustration, and you obliged. "that's it b-baby. give it all to me, u-use this dick." he bit his bottom lip, squeezing the side of your thigh as you slammed down onto him. "give all your stress to—ngh!—me. your subongie will help you relax." his hands trailed up your waist and kneaded your breasts, making you gasp. you rolled your hips to catch your breath, biting your lip.
you put your hands on his chest for support. "such good dick." you said breathily. "all mine." "that's right." he affirmed. one hand stationed beside your knee, the other reached to the nightside table for his e-cig, bringing it to his lips. you opened your eyes when the cloud of smoke brushed against your cheeks, filling your nostrils with the faint scent of strawberry.
"fuck you and your fuckass puff bar." you said, trying to take it, but he raised it in the air with a shit-eating grin. "what? are you jealous? hm? is my baby jealous?" he jutted out his bottom lip mockingly, chuckling when you swat the e-cig out of his hand. "the fuck would i be jealous about you destroying your lungs for?" you retort. he rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "you think you're too good to be fucked by me that you needed to take the edge off." you say, throwing the e-cig onto the floor and ignoring his protests, only for them turn into sharp sucked-in breaths when you rolled your hips again. "th-that was my—shit!—my b-best fucking one," subong shuddered. "you want your best puff or pussy? hm?" you said sharply. with a whimper, he said "my best p-pussy." "i thought so. now say you're sorry until i believe you." you said, hearing him let out a wall-shattering moan when you began riding his long cock again. he would never admit to this in a million years, but this was his favorite way to fuck.
you were in denial for a long time that things had become more romantic and vulnerable. since it was unspoken between you two when he inconspicuously moved in (as irresponsible it is) ... to when he started calling you "my baby" two months in and him "your subongie" a couple weeks later ... to when steamy makeouts before bed remained just that, even through the hushed whimpers and dry humping ... to when he'd smoke a cigarette on the balcony after you routinely complained about the smell, him having you sit on his lap because "the cigarette doesn't hit the same," only to end up sucking the life out of his cock or him rutting into you from behind ... to when you'd wake up with his arm slung lazily across your waist and his head tucked into your neck ... he'd run verses by you and you'd unironically compliment them ... he unironically started going on grocery runs with you, and picking out your jewelry ... and to when sunday mornings became a lot more quieter than they used to be, you two sat on the small couch together, clad in nothing but your underwear, drinking stale black coffee as one of four channels you have play on your dinky tv. it might be due to the limited space, or something more, but his hand lay on your knee whilst yours mindlessly traced the tattoos on the back of his neck, or toyed with his cartilage piercing.
you couldn't kick the question out your mind anymore. "subong?" "hm?" he responded, eyes glued to the tv. "what are we?" he didn't budge. you nudged his shoulder, earning his attention but with a flutter of irritation. "huh? what'd you ask?" "i said what are we?" his eyebrows furrowed. "what do you mean?" you raised your eyebrows, losing patience. "you know exactly what i mean."
he takes a moment to rack his brain, and then gets it. "you're my girl. my señorita." his face fell when you scoffed and pushed him away. "talk to me when you want to be serious." "i am being serious!" he says defensively. "look, you're my girlfriend. we're together." he sets his coffee down, pulling you in for a kiss. he kept kissing you until you cracked a grin, which took all of two tries. he wields his big brown eyes like katanas looking into yours, raising a finger heart and pressing it against his lips. "i like you." he says, unable to hold back his smile when you moved his hand away.
subong leaned in closer, the tip of his nose feeling the warmth of your cheek. "do you like me, too? hm? you can tell me. i promise i'll keep it a secret. i won't tell anyone." he knew your answer, but teased nonetheless, shaking his head in affirmation. you shushed him gently, actively trying to thwart how flustered you've become. he only pushed more, pressing a purposely deep and obnoxious kiss onto your skin. "i'll be the best and sexiest boyfriend ever."
it felt so wrong that your heart beat a little faster. "i'm only saying okay so that you shut up." you muttered. a knowing grin stretched across subong's face. he placed a kiss on your neck and above the valley between your breasts, laying his temple on your chest, slinging his arms around you. he smirked when you wrapped your arm around his shoulder some minutes later, his eyes fluttering closed when your lips found the top of his head.
you made him start coughing up his earnings from gigs to go towards rent. considering he wasn't being paid much, bookings weren't predictable, and he'd sometimes try to hide his earnings from you (which resulted in him sleeping on the couch, and if he did it again, you threatened he'd be out on the balcony without a blanket) his contribution wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. you shut down any chance of retaliation from him with a look he's since named "period projection" or, depending on his mood, "viagra."
when a lot of time passed between gigs, subong was woken up by a notebook and pen thrown onto his chest. "if you don't have five songs written by the time i get back from work, you're pussyless for a week." you said, slinging your purse over your shoulder. he grunted, barely opening his eyes but sitting up, the notebook and pen falling onto the bed. you grabbed his face, pecking his cheek before heading out the door.
subong talked himself up if you were being particularly hard on him, or really, just not as delusional about his success. "baby, one day you won't have to worry about shit. i'll have us partying in mykonos by next valentine's and in switzerland to see the first snow." he said one morning, standing stupidly in the middle of the apartment with nothing but his briefs and a graphic tee that had stains you didn't want to know about. "book the flights when you stop eating week old beef and using my moisturizer." you mutter, shoving the vacuum cleaner in his hands, gesturing for him to hand over the shirt before heading to the basement of the building to do laundry.
if work permitted, you went to see him perform at whatever nightclub in the city. subong found you in the crowd after his set, giving you a sloppy kiss and wrapping his sweaty arms around you no matter if you came straight from work, still clad in business wear, or in something that made you look like the rapper girlfriend of his dreams. an air of added cockiness ruminated off him when you two tag-teamed hounding the club manager whenever they tried to lowball his pay. more often than not, they caved in and gave what was agreed to and then some after you shouted said your piece. either way, you end up on the dance floor wrestling with your tongues or him pounding into you from behind in a bathroom stall. everybody wins!
when you're at work and subong's at home, he films tiktoks and posts on his instagram to get his name out there. he also tries to start beef on various naver cafés, especially when he's bored. or texting you: Did u eat the last tico?; Hi baby I have a threading appt at 5 i will meet u at your work before we go to dinner; Highh as sht88df thikning about ❤️You girl❤️❤️❤️❤️; [insert photo of him flexing in the bathroom mirror] Come home for lunch
speaking of photos on his phone, he has quite the array—advertisements at the train and bus stations he finds funny; various hair colors from the department store he wants to try; mirror selfies of him either flexing or trying on shoes; a photo of his hand squishing your cheeks when you two were waiting in line for cheap street food for lunch; another photo of you looking rather disheveled in the kitchen when you two were unfairly woken up at 6 am one saturday morning by nearby construction, an adorably annoyed look on your face because he was standing in the way of the fridge; one selfie of him in bed hitting his e-cig; the next taken six minutes later with your tit in his mouth, his eyes looking at himself. if you didn't keep tabs on him, he would've made the latter the cover of his next mixtape.
some of your friends thought you were crazy for still being with him, someone who was barely scraping by and, from an outsider's pov, was a moocher. you'd shake your head, "you guys don't get it. i know what i'm doing. you don't need to worry." and you certainly did, considering whenever you came home to subong's big brown eyes, towering height, and his smooth, low voice asking "how was your day, baby?," or when his fingers traced a fresh hickey on your neck, or when he announced his presence by placing his hand teasingly low on your waist ... oh, you were just about ready to make him a father .... even if it would lower the nation's life expectancy rate.
you've caught yourself staring at him at night when you couldn't sleep, watching the way his lips parted every time he exhaled, or how his arms were sprawled out before him after he fell asleep with them crossed. you fought the fluttering of your heavy eyelids to just .... look at him. sometimes you succumb to slumber, pressing a gentle kiss onto his cheek before drifting off. but one night you were simply plagued by him, looking at subong as if he was a riddle to solve, until you realized with wide eyes that you were projecting: oh fuck no. i love him.
it terrified you, that strong feeling. but not enough to sit idly by if someone became a little too flirty with him at the club, or to slow your speed walk to the bathroom after a work conference to send him a picture after he sent one that morning—lowering your volume and pressing your phone to your ear, listening to the audio message he sent in response, subconsciously rubbing your thighs together: "god, you're so fucking hot baby. how did i get so lucky .... what am i supposed to do, hm? you made my dick so fucking hard .... and it's not even eleven am yet ... is this what you wanted, hm? to get me riled up first thing in the morning?" his voice was low, sleep still fresh in his tone, followed by wet strokes. "it's sad that you're at work for so long. leaving me here—f-fuck, yeah, just like th-that—all alone ... and so needy ..."
you fucked good and hard when subong got a spot in the rap battleground competition, landing him in a position to not only put his name out there, but possibly win some money that would make a difference. you were elated enough to go condom-less. "wanna make you feel good, baby," you murmured breathily, ass pushing against the kitchen countertop, subong standing between your warm thighs. "i'm just so—mmf!" you sucked in a breath when his lips and tongue found your neck. "s-so proud of you, subongie." oh. subong just knew something was up. but he wasn't stupid enough to question it, not when he knows he's about to enter the gates of heaven. "gonna let me fuck this tight pussy raw?" he muttered in that low voice of his, continuing his slow, wet kisses on your neck to avoid melting into a puddle of his libido. his voice quivered when you didn't answer, hidden well by your moan: "hm? gonna let me ruin this pussy—" "yes!" you whimpered.
in a moment of weakness, he bit his bottom lip. he grabbed your face with one hand, making you look him in the eye. even in his attempt at dominance, you saw the flickers of awe in his eyes. nothing filled the kitchen besides the sounds of your shaky breaths, his face studying yours. could this ... could he have just realized that ... he loves you, too? subong leans in closer, the tip of his nose brushing with yours. you try to lean in, but his hold on your face stops you. you don't know what to make of his feelings with his next words, but with how his other hand comes up and combs your hair out of your face, and his forehead touches yours, its perhaps the most intimate moment of your relationship thus far: "you're finally gonna let me fuck what's mine?" he whispers. you nod silently.
subong bottomed out that night, cumming all over your stomach and back. your back arched like never before when he was pounding into you from behind, taking him deep into your gummy, warm walls. your fingernails clawed at your pillowcases and bed sheets, jaw hung open and eyes rolled back whilst his heavy balls hit the bottom of your stomach. your cunt suffocated his dick every time his palm smacked either globe of your ass—"take that fucking dick. take that fucking dick, just like that, yeah," he panted, palm rubbing over your hot skin before smacking it again. his voice cracked, "f-fuck! o-oh my god! fuck!" he squeezed your hips so hard you sucked a breath in through your teeth. his thrusts momentarily slowed, blinking hard when his vision began to blur at the sight of the creamy ring at the end of his cock. the noise was obnoxious, wet, and loud. you're everything he could ever hope for. in missionary, he tried so hard not to be a babbling mess, through his purposeful strokes. his hands held your head in place, his thumbs pressing into your temples, but his gaze failed to leave his cock fucking you. "give me that fucking puffy pussy." he murmured. he held his bottom lip between his teeth, groaning. "give me that puffy fucking—o-oh! ngh! f-fuck, you always know how to make me feel so f-fucking good, baby!"
you showered afterward together, momentarily forgetting about the water bill when your arms wrapped around subong's neck, your lips molding together. the kiss was soft and sensual. his hands massaged the same globes his palms set fire to whilst the remnants of his lust washed off your body and down the drain. he slept the best he had in weeks that night. a couple weeks later, you helped him dye his hair a deep purple a few days before the competition, just in time for him to adopt his new stage persona after becoming insufferable since watching "endgame," thanos.
the competition came and went, and he placed as a runner-up. he actually listened when you said you didn't want to head to the club since you had work early the next day, settling for a nice dinner and a bottle or two of soju instead. a group of fans of the show came up to him in the checkout line, and not only did you watch with an admiring grin, but your eyes widened surprise when he introduced you as his girlfriend after you were handed their phones to take a photo, harmlessly mistaken as a bystander. not only were you then asked to join the photo, but subong laughed heartily on the walk home upon hearing one of the girls' face dropped hearing the news that he's taken.
the bottles emptied on your coffee table, you ended the night rolling your hips atop his, holding onto his shoulders as his hands held onto either globes of your ass, looking up at you whilst you rode his cock. your dress pants for work were discarded on the floor, panties pushed to the side for his condom-less dick, biting your bottom lip when his palm massaged your breast through your blouse. nothing was in the room besides your breathy gasps, his low groans, the squeak of sweaty skin against the cheap faux leather of the couch, and his whispers . . . "you look so beautiful, baby. so fucking sexy." subong's eyebrows furrowed deeply, glancing at your swiveling hips before looking back up at you, despite your head being thrown back. "taking this cock so good...f-fuck ... know how to make me feel good, yeah? always know just how to squeeze me, how to make this big, fat cock cum, yeah? tell me, baby."
all you could muster was a whimper and your nails digging into the fabric of his shirt on his shoulders, but that was more than okay with him. his hand trailed up the side of your neck, bringing your head forward. "come here, come here my beautiful baby. my beautiful fucking woman." his lips kissed yours, molding them together repeatedly. his tongue toyed with yours, picking up the speed of your hips, making him grunt into your mouth every time your inner thighs clapped against his lower stomach. you held onto each other tighter, the kiss becoming feverish, only to be broken when his thumb found your clit. you came in what felt like seconds, and before you knew it, the words slipped out: "i love you!" you whimpered, riding out the high of your intense orgasm, subong having pulled out and spilling onto his thigh. "i love you, i love you!" you repeated breathily. through the pounding of his temples, he heard. through your laborious breathing, you didn't register that he said nothing back.
subong loved you too. he's known for a while now. but that was precisely the problem—he knew, and he wasn't going to say shit. what was the reason? perhaps it was a fucked up way of protecting you by stonewalling that part of him, perhaps it was selfishness, perhaps it was the inferiority complex making him feel like he didn't deserve someone as patient, as transformative, and as loving as you, and he questioned every day why he hadn't been kicked to the fucking curb yet, even after a year and a half together. or maybe ... it was that fucking mg coin ...
he started watching that fuckass man a couple months before the rap battleground competition after a friend tipped him off about crypto. you peered over his shoulder after settling into bed, hearing parts of a youtube video through his phone speaker. "i stopped trying to understand that shit when they told me a picture of an ape is somehow currency." you muttered, making him laugh. "yeah. you're right, hm?" he let out a yawn, clicking his phone off before taking you in his arms, falling asleep with your head on his chest.
but then, it was like a flip switched. subong saw something you didn't (delusion), and seemed to be watching myung gi's videos at what felt like any chance he had. he watched him in the morning, sat at the small dining table in the kitchen as he ate leftover kimbap from dinner the night previous, already annoying you at barely 10 AM whilst pouring yourself cereal, sitting across from him on this rare saturday off. you eyed his phone, "i thought you dropped that shit." you said between chewing. his eyes stayed glued to his screen, putting another slice into his mouth. "i don't know, baby. i think he has a point. people are getting rich quick off this crypto shit. i might have to play my hand, y'know?" before you could respond, he reached over, wiping a rogue drop of milk that slipped from the corner of your mouth, sucking it off his thumb before pressing 'skip ad'. you reached over, clicking his phone off and turning it face down. "hey!—" "you talk like you routinely pay for this wifi." you said, looking into his eyes. "you talk about 'playing your hand' when you don't have the decency to spend 5,000 won on wired headphones so i don't have to hear this shit all day?"
his lip twitched in annoyance, eyes widening. "don't get smart with me!" he exclaimed. you scoffed and waved your hand dismissively, eating another scoop of your cereal. "i'll go get some headphones after i eat if that's what you really want, damn!" "if you invest in something invisible, you do it with your own money so you reap the punishment." you say. "i will." subong rolled his eyes, eating his last slice of kimbap, but irritably. "he knows his shit. says the coin'll blow up." he mumbled, glancing at you when you got up. you held his face, leaning down and pressing a kiss onto his cheek. "that's what they all say, subong." you collected his and your dishes, bringing them to the sink and beginning to wash.
he funneled money into that coin behind your back no problem. every time a check came in, the slice that went to investing got larger and larger. he kept it hidden by putting aside just enough to not cause suspicion. and turning off notifs at specific times. he said he'd transfer a few months worth of the rent when the money hit his account after rap battleground and a couple of scheduled gigs he won as well, but it was a half-baked lie. he told you the money hit way after it actually did, giving you what he promised but keeping a large sum for himself, because he surprisingly got a return on his investment.
he kept going and going, the high of it all rivaling his pills. he bought limited edition shoes, a pair of earrings you'd been eyeing for a while for your anniversary, and got a couple new tattoos. all of it was hidden well behind his coincidentally coinciding success of his music in the wake of the competition ... damn ... he could get used to the universe dickriding him this hard ...
until it all came crashing down that night on the couch. the same night you confessed, he got a notif from one of his crypto apps that he had lost 30 million won. he bolted out of bed, leaving your sleeping, clueless form behind to smoke a cigarette outside, pacing back and forth in the street, trying to calm himself down at 2:30 in the morning. he stared at those numbers like they were going to change, ultimately convincing himself that it was a mere fluke and that money would come again in no time, stomping his cigarette into the asphalt and heading back upstairs.
it was like a routine: watch myung gi, take notes, invest. watch myung gi, take notes, invest. subong took it to heart when he said viewers would be foolish not to bet. he resented being made to feel stupid. even when the returns were slimmer with each swipe up to refresh, he kept going. he looked you straight in the eyes with an admiring grin on his face, lying through his teeth saying everything was okay. what you didn't know couldn't hurt you, right? right. but it ate away at him. subconsciously, then viscerally.
your confession hung at the back of subong's head for weeks. he tried to avoid it, even attempted to put that frustration into his music, but nothing was satisfactory. his inner turmoil flooded to the surface—avoiding your kiss in the morning before you headed to work, landing your lips on the corner of his mouth before he pecked yours without much thought. you didn't say those three words again, but he saw them on display in the softness of your eyes gazing up at him. he couldn't bare it. it was so easy for him to lie to your face about his whereabouts, how much of a fucking coward was he to not say three words back? especially when he felt them, too?
you noticed the change as well. he'd be gone for longer hours, only texting you back in the later evening. his hand stayed to hisself on sunday mornings. kisses were quick and choppy, not sensual and slow. sex was more rough and rushed. it made you feel so deeply embarrassed, like a teenaged girl made to feel silly and begging for her boyfriend's attention. you hated the feeling, but hated the fact that you let that confession slip more. you always felt he wasn't one to open up like that, but a girl can dream, can't she?
then it descended into utter madness. you came home from work later than usual, having to finish last minute assignments for someone who didn't show up. you nearly exploded at the haze of smoke filling your apartment, dropping your purse on the floor. there were bottles of soju and half-eaten food littering the kitchen counters and floor, the fridge left wide open, sure to have spoiled the rest of your leftovers. your eyes then found subong and his friend, a stranger to you, so fucking high that drool leaked out of the corner of their mouths.
"out!" you yelled, enraged. "get the fuck out!" neither of them moved until the piercing sound of the soju bottle you threw at the wall, shattering into pieces, jolted their senses awake. you grabbed the friend by his tank top, yanking him out of his seat like a fucking rag doll, and shoved him out the door. "the fuck! get ... get your—tell your bitch to fucking chill, bro!" the man's words slurred, only for him to nearly stumble down the stairs when you hurled another bottle at him. "don't ever fucking come back here!" you yelled.
"jesus fucking christ, you're so fucking loud." subong muttered, now standing and rubbing his fingers against his temples. "what the fuck is wrong with you! you've never done shit like this before!" you yelled, paying no mind to his wincing. "the fuck are you talking about? i get high, you know this—" "yeah, i do! but never like this. in our fucking house, subong!"
it was then that you saw the syringe and tinfoil on the coffee table. even in your blistering anger, you took his wrists in your hands, looking over his arms. "since when did you do hard shit? huh?" you muttered. his eyebrows furrowed, looking over to the table with hooded eyes. "what? i...i don't." his words slurred, a low burp gurgling out from his lips, shaking his head. "my friend fucks around with that. not me. i stick to pills and vape, baby. i swear."
you let go of his wrists, running a hand through your hair and pacing. the smoke had cleared. you turned around, seeing him laying his temple against the fridge, mouth hung open and eyes closed. you slowly walked up to him, not sure where to begin, your hands reaching up and holding his face. "baby." you said, him grunting in response. "i don't ... i don't know what's going been going on with you lately. you've been so distant and ... and cold. and then coming home to this ... subong, you're—you're scaring me a little."
he groaned weakly, chin sinking downward before you caught him, holding his face up whilst looking into his hooded eyes. your heart felt punctured. "is it ... is it because i said i love you? is it because of that?" his eyes opened, making way for his frustrated grimace. he shook his head, lip curling in what you mistook as disgust, when in reality he was outwardly sickened by himself. "you don't know fucking shit about anything, bitch."
your face fell, eyes watering. you let go of him, his cheek flattened against the fridge, barely stabilizing himself against it. you took a step back. a million thoughts ran through your mind, but one prevailed amongst all of them: what i've been avoiding has shown itself to be true. a tear escaped your waterline, but your voice was stable. "get out." you sniffled, wiping your cheek. "get out, subong."
"huh?" he mumbled, gradually opening his eyes. "i said get the fuck out of my house, subong." "what? i'm not going—" he burped again. "i'm not going fucking anywhere." he wagged a finger in your face. you swatted his arm away, grabbing him by the hem of his shirt and yanked him with all of your might, pushing his back, shoving him out the door even after he tripped over your purse. you slammed the door and locked it before he got to his feet again. "hey!" he yelled. he inhaled sharply through his nose. "open the damn door, you fucking bitch!" he pounded on the door with his palm. "come back when you stop acting like a fucking child!" you yelled, hitting the door back repeatedly. "and not turn my place into a fucking trap house, you piece of shit!"
"what about all that money i gave you, huh!? for rent? and your fucking groceries? give me those fucking earrings you have on, you never fucking deserved them anyway—" "fuck no!" you shouted over him. "this is the least i fucking deserve after your fucking pennies, you cheap piece of shit! if you're so loaded, then fuck off!" subong pressed his mouth to edge of the door, seething. "throwing your boyfriend out like this? when i'm making it big, huh? you'll come to regret this—" you bursted out laughing almost maniacally, a very strange mixture of anger, frustration, and hilarity brewing in your chest. he could be so fucking ridiculous. "m-making it big?" you repeated, laughing so hard you clutched your stomach and wiped tears from your face. it was cathartic. "i-if you're 'making it big,' subong, then—then i'm a lost member of the royal fucking family!" you exclaimed. "how's the fund for greece, huh? still plan on taking me for valentine's? or are you going to continue to clog my toilet because you're still too cheap to buy fresh meat?" "shut the fuck up!" he roared, slamming his palm against the door and wiggling the doorknob.
a neighbor opened their door, avoiding eye contact and stepping around the broken glass to take out their trash, visibly not wanting to be caught in the firestorm taking place in the hall. subong grew embarrassed, turning back to the closed door with a new plea to avoid the atomically sinking feeling. "open the door. please, baby. let's talk this out." he spoke, trying to keep his voice level, wiping his nose with the side of his thumb. when you didn't answer, he kept going. "i'm sorry for all the trouble, baby. let me make it up to you, yeah? just open the door, and we can talk this out. c'mon, baby, the neighbors'll hear—" "let them fucking hear!" you yelled, making him flinh. you leaned closer to the edge of the door, directly parallel to him. "what's that bullshit you always say, huh? any attention is good attention, if you know what to do with it? well, eat your fucking words then, subong! be a man for once in your stupid life!" his eyes widened, vein popping out of his temple. "fuck you, you fucking whore!" he slammed the door repeatedly, the two of you creating a cacophony when you started hitting it, too. "fuck you too, dumbass!"
it was eerily silent that evening in your apartment. you, alone, cleaning up the mess he left behind. carefully sweeping up shattered glass, plastic bags, food wrappers, washing the dishes, cleaning out the fridge, etc. subong was universe knows where. you didn't have the energy to think about him, not even bothering to look around on your walk to the convenience mart to buy ramen for dinner. the emotional turmoil sank into your chest when you sat at the same kitchen table where chaos unfolded at mere hours ago to eat. you barely swallowed the first mouthful before you sank into tears, shoulders shaking, pressing the back of your hand to your lips to console yourself. how could everything have fallen apart so quickly?
you and subong didn't speak for three months. he called and texted those first couple weeks, but that fizzled out, and you didn't answer at all. you didn't owe him anything, especially after the shit he put you through. the wound was still felt too fresh, sensitive enough to do anything but wallow in the silence, heading back out to bars with your friends on the weekends.
none of your friends dared to say much. you were offered apologetic words, but a fool wouldn't notice the air of i told you so in their tone. even with you ceasing caring to cover the healing hickies, being much more subdued on nights out, or your eye bags deepening in the wake of the break up, you were mainly left to wallow in your own grief. you felt it was half deserved and half fucking rude.
but as more time went on, you felt hurt by the fact that subong didn't show back up. not once. not even a mean note on your door, or sign of attempted entry. did he really not fucking care that much? he was just a man, after all ... but then again, not every man is reduced to grateful tears after eating pussy. or looks at you like a renaissance painting come to life when you're retouching his fucking hair dye. when you got home one night, a little tipsy from the cocktails you had, you clicked on those unread text messages— ranging from Baby i'm sorry please talk to me; Stop being so fucking stubborn; ileft my keytthere I dont wantt it back u fknng cnutt; to I don't deserve you i fucked up please baby—and listening to those voicemails.
one resonated with you, even in your inebriated state: "hi ... um, it's been, like, four days since we ... and i, uh—i feel weird. and i don't like it at all. i know you're at work right now but i can't bring myself to show my face and i fucking hate it. i don't like being a coward. but you ... you're ... you're just ... you need to stop. you can't keep doing this to me. you make me feel things i've never felt and it fucking scares me. and you cut me off before i could even say my bit. how is that fair? you can't just come into my life like that and walk away before i get a say. you can't change my life and me and then just throw me away. i know ... i know i'm not the best guy. but even i don't deserve to be thrown out like—" he was cut off and did not call back. "oh my god. what a fucking idiot." you murmured, rubbing your temple with your fingers.
but the universe loves to throw curveballs, because you saw him two weeks later at a bar a few blocks down from the club you first met at. subong saw you long before you saw him that night. he'd spent so much of the last four months feeling a spectrum of emotions, coping with his frustration by daydreaming about what he'd say the next time he saw you—all of the insults to suffice for his anger, all of the things he'd say to make you feel bad for how you treated him—all cogs in his self-deflection apparatus. but when he actually saw you, sat alone at the bar with no friend group in sight, drinking what looked to be martini, he was at a loss for words. even his emotionally daft ass was aware enough to sense something was different about you. more muted, more subdued. that's what she fucking gets. his inner monologue was unforgiving, only for him to peer over a tall strangers shoulder to keep his softened eyes on you. but she ... she can't be alone. not here.
subong was really good at blending into the crowd, until he got too close, and by chance you glanced up and saw him. he was close enough to hear you suck in a breath through your teeth, and see your eyes widen in panic the same time his did. without thinking, you got up from your seat, grabbing your purse hanging on the back of your chair, forgetting you hadn't even taken a second sip of your overpriced drink. subong stepped out of the crowd, "don't go." he said gentler than anticipated, before remembering he was supposed to be livid. his expression hardened, lips tightened, hand grabbing for your arm. "we need to talk."
"i don't have anything to fucking say to you." you say sharply, not looking at him, keeping your voice low to not cause commotion. "yes the fuck you do." he bit back. you tried to pull your arm out of his grip, failing. "let me go or i'll throw my drink in your face." "really?" he smirked. "i didn't take you to be so careless with your money." you look up, eyebrows raised, meeting his eyes for the first time in months. "oh, that's funny. do you still think you're up and coming? or have you come to terms with the fact that you're an illiterate fuck who steals IP just to still write shit fucking bars?"
subong closed much of the remaining gap between you. "shut your fucking mouth, you bitch." he seethed through gritted teeth. you look him dead in the eyes, "see what i mean? you still can't come up with anything new, and you've had all this time." you pulled at his grip again, but he was strong. "let me go." "you didn't listen to me before, so you're going to listen now." "like the fuck i am!" you looked at him like he was crazy. you pulled again, finally freeing your arm. you grabbed your drink, purse in your other hand. "now leave me alone." you say. "or i'll throw this drink right in your fucking eyes."
you turned and walked deeper into the dimly lit bar; just anywhere that was not where he was. you found an empty booth, sitting down with a huff, taking a hefty swig of your martini. you shot up when you saw him walk over, putting your arm in position, only for subong to put his hands up, one hovering over your drink. "don't throw it! don't!" "do you not know how to fucking listen!?" "you don't know how, either!" he shot back. "why did you never respond to my texts or calls?" "don't ask me that with that stupid look on your face like it's as bad as you bringing a fucking stranger and hard drugs into my home!" you exclaimed. "which, by the way, in all of your rambling voicemails and texts, you've never once apologized for." "so you did read them?" "that's not the fucking point, subong!" "yes, it is! to me!" "and what? you don't think it matters to me that you never said 'i love you' back? that i felt like a fucking teenage girl, waiting at her boyfriend's beck and call to care about her?"
people were starting to stare, but your sense of decorum was long gone. he got up in your face, and you took him up at that challenge. "i care! i fucking cared!" he stared into your eyes in frustration, pushing his fingers into his chest in a desperate gesture. "well, you didn't do a good job of showing it. because at some point, i felt my loneliest even when you were beside me, snoring like fucking pug and dutch ovening the blanket."
subong, at a loss for words, too choked up on his anger and long-suppressed complicated feelings boiling to the surface, turned to what he knew best: low hanging fruit. after a moment, he collects himself. a smug smirk stretches across his face, taking a step back and glancing at the dated wall art behind you. he shook his head, looking down at the floor with a chuckle. "and here i was, thinking you were secretly pregnant with my kid or something." he said. your eyebrows furrowed, deeply confused. this was stupid, even for him. "what?" you shook your head. "what the fuck are you talking about—" "—it makes sense that you wouldn't want to tell me. too much for you too handle. but then i saw you tonight, and you looked more bloated than usual, so i thought i was right. but then you were drinking—" he yelped when the cold gin splashed in his face, flinching at the glass bouncing off his chest, shattering next to his foot. gasps erupted throughout the room. subong hastily wiped his eyes, feeling them burn. "fucking bitch!" "your children would be lucky to never know their deadbeat of a fucking father."
you stormed off, heading into the nearby women's bathroom. heartbeat in your throat, you turned on a sink, rinsing the alcohol off your hands. you didn't look up when the door hit the wall, or when subong yelled "fuck off!" to the other three women in the room, causing a brief scurry of heels out the door. he pushed you out of the way, rinsing his eyes. "i should go and file a fucking police report on you." he mumbled. he looked up at you, expression angry, even with his squinting eyes. "i should've written 'sex slave' on my tax forms, too, with how you treated me!"
you pushed him right back, collecting a handful of water from the running sink with your palm, and throwing it at his face. "when was the last time you paid your taxes? hm!?" you exclaimed. "do you even know where your bank is? did you ever buy a new toothbrush after the one you had became a clump of bristles and i had to get one for you like a fucking mother!?" you yelled, using both palms and throwing more water; some hitting the floor, some splashing on yourself, but most wetting his face and clothing. "hey!" his voice boomed. he took a step forward, slipping, but caught himself on the edge of the sink. he turned the water off, landing your hand atop his in a failed effort to stop him. "you don't get to speak to me like that!" he yelled. "i can speak however i want to!" you yelled louder, making him wince, cursing under his breath. "you lost your chance when you made me feel crazy for loving you. i don't know how i could've even liked you!"
"hey!" subong's voice echoed off the walls. "your voice is so fucking shrill! you're giving me a fucking headache!" he pushed his fingers into his temple. he pointed at you, unwavering when you smacked it away. "don't act like you're fucking innocent, either—let me fucking finish!" you closed your mouth, crossing your arms over your chest. "see, this is what your problem is. you don't let anyone speak, or want to do anything i like. all those times you laughed in my face, didn't take me seriously, or tossed my career away like it was garbage, like some fucking fly you couldn't swat away." he waved his hand in front of his face, mimicking the gesture. "well, i'm sorry i put a roof over your head when you were piss poor broke." your voice was eerily leveled, staring so hard into his eyes you could've burned holes into his retinas. "and didn't act like you were nominated for grammys in fucking return."
"'laughed?' 'didn't take seriously?'" you repeated his words, eyebrows furrowing. "who dyed your stupid fucking purple hair? who reminded you to write songs? who pushed you to call clubs? who yelled at pervert managers to get you fair pay!?" your voice escalated. subong's eyes drifted to the tiled floor, head hanging lower than before. you took a breath. "subong, i—" he met your eyes at the mention of his name. "i invented you."
his expression soured, hating that you were right and faced with his own cowardice once again. but he would rather give himself up to his loan shark than show it. "invented is the right word." subong spoke lowly, nodding. his hand came up to his head, making a screwing gesture. "false ideas—you have false ideas of who i am. you played with me like a toy." you were in disbelief. "p-played you? like ... like a toy?" you began to stutter through this newfound upheaval of anger, something that made your face feel hot and stomach churn, increasingly irritated with each second you couldn't get the words out. "you!—you!" you hit your palm on the edge of the sink, sending your purse to the floor. "you came so hard that i thought i had to go to urgent care to get you an oxygen mask!" every word sounded more strained than before. you inhaled deeply, running against a ticking timer in your head to when he'd open his mouth next. you gestured at a bathroom stall door, but in your head, it was a memory. "you held onto me so tightly after your performances or at home or—or eating dinner to the point where i had to eat with one hand!" you closed the gap, your pointer finger brushing against the tip of his nose. "at some point, you couldn't fall asleep unless you felt my fucking heartbeat, motherfucker!"
"and you did all of that," you gestured around you. "just to fuck me over, and make me realize i've wasted my time loving someone who doesn't give half a fucking shit whether i live or die!" "i care!" his voice boomed. "how many times do i have to say that!?" "until your last goddamn breath." you retort without hesitation. "and with how you live, that should be right around the corner." "are you saying i should die?" "what? no, subong. of course not." you shook your head. "that's not what i—that's not what i meant." "so what did you mean?" "what i mean was—no, stop distracting. you know exactly what i meant." with your next look at him, you saw them: his manicured hands, equipped with different colors on all fingernails. oh, you hated how quickly your mind shifted gears, how quickly the worries of the imaginary teenage girl clouded your logic and best judgment, but none more than this being what your eyes began watering over. "who ... who did that?" you asked, your suddenly quieted voice catching subong off guard.
"what?" he asked, confused. his eyes followed your gaze, landing at his hands, eyebrows raising at the realization that this was his chance at getting the upper hand: "someone i saw." he lied. it wasn't wholly untrue, but dubiously framed; the nail tech was a woman, so he did see her, just not in the way he just purposefully vaguely implied. he needed something to jab at you, to knock you down a peg like it was a schoolyard fight, but even he couldn't smirk at the hurt on your face. in fact, he regretted those words the moment he said them. "who is she?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper. subong had never seen you look so devastated like this before. it made him feel an instinct that straightened his posture, unaware of what to do next, standing awkwardly. he attempted to say these next words with venom, but he couldn't even believe them himself, almost sounding as subdued as you: "it's none of your fucking business."
your heart drops. you feel nauseous. if subong had blinked, he would've missed your curt nod. you didn't bother wiping the tear trailing your cheek, his eyes watching as you pick up your purse from the floor, ears perking at your sniffle. "okay." you whispered, but you were so quiet that your voice nearly blended with the air vent. you started walking, fully intending to never turn back around, until his hand on your wrist stopped you. "wait—" "stop!" you said sharply, yanking out of his grip before he could close his fingers entirely. you held your hands in the air before circling around, your eyes landing on his. his face fell. you looked perishable, drained of an essence he couldn't fathom you without. oh, he'd really done it this time.
you lunged forward, nail of your pointer finger scratching against his nose. "you don't get to do this to me, s-subong!" you exclaimed, trying to keep your voice steady, but the tears stifle the effort. you couldn't contain the sob. he was mortified at the sight. "it's ... it's not fair." you whispered meekly. your hands trailed to his chest, balling into fists as you cried. he stood there, frozen, mouth agape like a fool. subong raised his hand, petting your hair with a light, unsure touch. "it's fi—" he sucked in a surprised breath through his teeth when you started swatting his chest, pushing and shoving at him in a pitiful tantrum. subong took it silently, putting his hands up, face contorting uncomfortably at the sound of your cries. his bottom lip started to quiver as time went on. he couldn't tell what he hated more: the fact he lost the fight, or the fact he cared about that to begin with.
"that's enough. hey—" subong inhaled sharply through his nose. he grabbed both of your wrists, holding them in place. "that's enough." he hoped to whatever higher power you didn't hear the quiver. he swallowed, resting his forehead against yours. your hands went limp. he let go, feelings your palms trail up to his face. "you're mine." you spoke weakly. his mouth fell open, staring at your lips whilst you begged for his eyes; earning you such when your hand on his cheek guided him to your gaze. "do you hear me?" you whispered. "you're mine, subong. no one elses." you shook your forehead against his, your tragic desperation ailing him. "mhm." his hands trailed your waist. "i'm yours, baby. all yours."
with a shaky hand, your fingers ran through his hair, thumb so close to his lips he pressed a skeleton of a kiss onto it. "i'm sorry i threw my drink at you." you cry, voice stuck at a whisper. "i'm so sorry, subong—" "stop." his low voice shushes you, nose nestling beside yours, slowly trailing to your neck. he inhaled your scent, eyes rolling back when your fingers brushed past his cartilage piercing. "i had it coming." his nose found its way back to your cheek, pressing kisses onto the warm, wet skin. "why didn't you come home, subong? i .. i've been waiting for so long." his bottom lip quivered again, but his voice was utmost steady: "you never asked."
"i—i shouldn't have to!" you swatted at his chest. "you idiot!" "i know, i know. i've been really fucking stupid." his voice cracks. subong leans in, but you turn away. "i can't. it's not good for me." "can't you see we're dying without each other?" he pleads, his hands turning your head to look at him. "look at me, look at you! just one, baby. please." his breath brushed against your cheeks, his hands holding either side of your face. "i can't ... i can't go on without you."
with a shaky breath and fresh tears falling down your cheeks, you closed the gap. a guttural moan rumbled through your chest, subong whimpering desperately. his arms wrap tightly around your waist, your hands holding his face for dear life—the kiss slow and purposeful, making up for lost time, a conversation no words could say. subong's palms made way to your ass, acting on pure muscle memory. he angled his head, introducing his tongue into the equation, having to quickly bend his knees to catch your fidgety form. "i'm not going anywhere." he unintentionally stifled the most heavenly moan he's ever heard from you. you broke the kiss for air. subong wasted no time, returning to his favorite spot on your neck, holding you in place firmly. your head fell back, letting him do whatever he so pleased—your hand on the back of his head wielding the power of casting a centuries-long trance.
he sucked and licked with precision, like a day hadn't gone by. he even hummed in concentration, mouth popping off of your soft skin until the bruise was to his liking. "s-subong." you whined, needing his lips back, your fingers messily carding through his hair. "i'm almost done." he was gentle, even if he was ignoring the concrete fucking lump in his pants and starting to sweat over your warmth against his. he latched off, fingers tracing the bluish-red spot with satisfaction. "come here, pretty girl." his slightly swollen lips made your eyebrows furrow pathetically, the kiss felt sticky, your lips sown with his. "i need you." you murmured. "i need you." "stall. the bathroom stall."
you grabbed his hand, rushing to the closest one, pulling him inside. neither of you think to close the door, letting it bang against the wall after swinging it open. subong's lips returned to yours, but his hands pat his pockets, feeling his phone and wallet, unsure: "i don't—i don't have a condom." "it's okay, it's okay." you assure truthfully, hurriedly kissing him as if he'd disappear if you let go. "it'll be just like how we used to, hm?" "turn around for me."
you do, placing your hands on the bathroom stall wall to hold yourself up. subong pulls your pants down to your ankles, unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants down just enough to grind his hardened cock against your ass, leaving nothing to the imagination, even with the barrier of his briefs and your underwear. "s-subong!" you gasped, back arching, pushing your ass farther onto him, feeling his cock closer to your aching pussy but not quite there yet. "how could you take this away from me?" he whispered into your ear, breath hitching vulnerably as he tried to keep himself composed, the plush of your round ass making his mind mush. "from us?" subong's hands snuck past the hem, grabbing at the powdery softness of either globes of your ass. his bottom lip suffered between his teeth, watching his hands work underneath the fabric, squeezing firmly. your nails clawed at the wall, eyes fluttering closed whenever his cool rings cinched around your hot skin. "stop teasing." your cheek collided with his nose, not realizing how close his face was to yours.
subong kissed your supple skin like instinct. "you'll take this dick like a good fucking girl, right?" he was so close to your ear the tip of his nose smushed against the stall wall. "y-yes!" you helplessly paw at the wall. his hand pulled down your underwear, rutting himself against your bare ass. his fingers maneuvered between your legs, middle finger sinking between your folds and encircling, keeping you steady between him and the wall. when he finds that sensitive bundle of nerves, he feels faint, cursing under his breath as your guttural grunt that bounced off the walls. "s-subong—" your voice sounded dry from the earlier arguing and succumbing to your illustrious libido. "i know, baby, i know." his fingers were unrelenting. christ, you were so fucking wet. "just wait for a little longer, and i'll fuck this pussy like the good boy you know i fucking am."
his fingers came to a gradual halt. whilst your chest heaved, he sucked on the tip of his middle finger, licking it clean. "i'm getting on my knees. don't move." he pulled your underwear down, peering up at the puffy lips he has to thank for opening his third eye. you cover your mouth, his warm tongue delving between your folds, scared of what you might sound like if you let go. for the next minute, all that fills the bathroom are the lewd sounds of his tongue nursing your sweet pussy and your muffled whimpers. a crude smack on your left globe followed by a harsh squeeze was the unspoken: let me fucking hear you. "o-oh!" you cried out. "o-oh my fucking god!"
you pushed your ass onto his face, your eyes crossing over the vibrations of his satisfied moan against your clit, squeezing them shut. he lapped your hole repeatedly, swallowing, taking a breath before adjusting his knees on the floor. subong's thumbs spread your lips apart, latching his mouth onto your clit and sucking. the curvature of your back deepened, head thrown back, a cry of pure lust brewing out of your diaphragm, heartbeat stuttering when his tongue lapped the bundle without mercy. "r-right there! just, just—ngh! hngh!—just l-like that!" "where? here?" he asked knowingly, tongue replaced by his finger, rubbing your clit mercilessly. his other hand fished his cock out from his briefs, beginning to stroke himself.
it was a cacophony of wet slick, choked moans, and squelching heat. nothing could deter it, not even the pair of friends that walked in the bathroom, chatting away and completely unaware, only to quickly back out of the room widened eyes and whispers of "oh my god, did you see them?" and "on a tuesday?" it was a sight to behold: your ass in his face; a mixture of his saliva and your slick trailing down his chin, quickly wiped by the back of his hand when he took a breath, but smearing nonetheless; his precum leaking onto the floor; your moans so delicate and raw any erotic film director would beg on their knees to cast you; and subong's affirming mhms and thats rights as he sucks and laps your clit.
subong knew you were close when your thighs began to shake. "give it to me." his hand ceased pumping his dick, both thumbs separating your puffy lips farther than before, running his tongue over your clit. "give it to me, mama," your moan made his dick twitch, eyebrows deeply furrowed, fucked-out gloss coating his eyes. "give it to me, baby, come on—" "ngh!" your body squirmed, nails scraping against the wall, one hand reaching for the top, thighs clenching around his head as your orgasm took over your body. subong was stubborn—his palms pressing your back down further, tongue unrelenting through your high, swallowing whatever you gave him. he slowed when your breathing leveled, suckling one last time before rising to his feet.
he pushed your shirt up, kissing the top of your spine, then the back of your shoulder. "hey," he said gently, hearing your shaky breaths. "still with me?" "mhm." you nod, bottom lip caught between your teeth, trying your best to remain standing. his lips kissed your temple, "everything okay?" "mhm," was all you were able to muster. "f-felt really good. needed it." "me too. i dreamt about you, baby." he whined, lips pressed to your skin. "i dreamt about you so much." his breathing became ragged, tip of his cock red and angry. "tugged at my dick so much and i never came as good as when i was with you. now you made me cum just from eating your pussy. do you see what you've done to me? do you see what you've done to your precious subongie?"
you feel dizzy, lifting your head for air. "put it in." you whisper. you push your ass into him, moaning at the feeling of his cock rutting against you. "put it in, subongie." he slowly pushed his tip in, eventually enveloped by your gummy walls. his face contorted—"how're you so much tighter than before!?" his voice was notably higher, barely moving his hips, slowly inching out of you. "h-haven't had anyone else," you sucked in a tight breath. "b-been waiting for you—hngh!" oh, you were so back ... you couldn't help the satisfied smile that stretched across your face, ears filled with his needy whines and blubbering incoherently about how much he missed you, and his girthy cock stretching you out in the way you deserve. "fuck me, subongie," you said breathlessly. "fuck me the way you dream about." "i won't last, you're so fucking tight!—" "—be the good boy you said you'd be!"
with that, he got to work. his pelvis hit your ass, not rapidly, but with reverberating force, moaning and whining like it was the last thing he'd ever do. your mouth fell open, body shaking with every thrust, eyes squeezed shut. you gasped when his hand reached into your bra, holding your left breast, biting your lip as your nipple hardened against his palm. you looked over your shoulder, catching sight of your jiggling globes every time he thrusted. "faster," you said. "faster and harder, s-subong. i—fuck!—i n-need you so b-badly!" he grabbed either side of your hips, pounding into you through his intensifying blurry haze, balls slapping against you so unapologetically that, if someone got close enough, it could've been heard from outside the door. subong wasn't showing off; he wasn't outdoing himself, to him, this was making love. here he was, fucking the woman of his dreams (he got her back!!,) hearing those moans he was so afraid would escape his memories, and fortunate to be feeling and fucking her divine pussy. talk about a jackpot.
"a-agh! f-fuck!" he cried out, hips stuttering as you began fucking him back. he looked down at the sight, watching his creamy cock disappear and reappear at your volition, his indescribable pleasure displayed on his face, envied by empty canvases wishing to capture such raw human emotion. "n-no, no!" he gasped, feeling your pussy clench around him, that knot forming in his abdomen. "y-you're killing me, baby," he panted. "b-baby—ngh!—s-stop, need to f-fuck you. m'gonna cum s'quick if you—if you, f-fuck!" you stopped abruptly, slamming against his pelvis with a shaky breath. "i'm almost there, too." you said. you sunk a little lower, pushing your ass against him. "k-keep going, my love. you're doing so good. always know how to fuck this pussy so good, hm? yeah? best dick i've ever fucking had." you whine, feeling his cock pulsate in your cunt. you look over your shoulder, feeling his hand squeeze your left asscheek, "wanna cum in me?" wanna cum in me so much that i make you a daddy? yeah?" a wall-rattling gasp shattered out of your lungs when he thrust into you hard, once. then twice. "you're going to be the fucking death of me."
subong pounded into your tight pussy mercilessly, brushing against that spongy spot deep in your cunt with little effort at the angle you were in now. "right there, right t-there! o-oh my god, f-fuck—fuck! s-subong—subong! keep going! you feel so f-f-fucking good!" your whorish mewls were no match for his. he was a goner; bottomed out; becoming lightheaded. he kept going, kept hitting that spongy haven, but it wasn't a knot in your abdomen that fleshed goosebumps across your skin, embarking on its unravel—it was deeper, more carnal than that—but before you could register it, your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and your leg felt wet. "o-oh—oh my g-god—" you were a mumbling mess through this indescribable orgasm, wholly aware of your body but lost in your lustful haze. subong knew exactly what was going on. it brought him over the edge. "f-fuck! fuck! fuck!" warmth coated your walls, chock-full of his cum, trailing down your thigh with your squirt. he slowed his thrusts, moving so delicately it was as if his cock was made of glass.
he stopped moving, cock resting inside your warm cunt. you were in your own world, weakly holding onto the wall, ears ringing, temples pounding. your senses cleared albeit minutely with his hands holding your shoulders, helping you stand up better. you raised your arm, planting it before you and resting your forehead against it, taking deep breaths. subong pulled out, tutting softly hearing your quiet gasp, palm tracing your lower back as a silent i know, i know. his chest heaving, subong's hand reached over, trying to tuck your hair behind your ear to talk to you, but stops when he sees your earrings—the ones he gave you all those months ago; the ones he said you didn't deserve during that explosive argument. unexpectedly to him, his eyes started to water, quickly pressing a kiss onto the back of your shoulder, mouth muffled against the fabric of your top. in the midst of your labored breathing, you don't overhear: "i love you," he whispered. he pressed another kiss. "i love you."
after a few moments, you stood up steadily, making subong lift his head. your hand aimlessly reached behind you for him."you made me ... you made me—" "—i know, i know." he spoke gently. your senses found him when his arm wrapped around your waist, lips pressing a kiss to your temple and staying there. your hand reached up, coaxing your fingers through his hair. "have we ... have we ever done that before?" "i don't think we did." "yeah ... i figured." your eyes were still closed, slowly opening when his lips peppered kisses on your jaw. "i don't—" you swallowed, mouth dry. "i don't know if i can walk straight." both of you couldn't help but laugh, his forehead resting against your temple. "you know," he cleared his throat. "i think someone came in when i was eating you out." "oh god." you murmured. "did they say anything?" "i was kinda busy to notice if they did." he chuckled lowly. "right, right."
the heat of your apartment woke you up in the middle of the night, lazily tugging the duvet of your sweaty body. subong's light snores became background noise after a press of a button, the air conditioning kicking in. in your sleepy state, you squinted at the time on the oven: 4:27 AM. shuffling to the bathroom, you emerged a few minutes later, filling a glass of water from the kitchen tap. after taking a sip, you walked to the ac unit, eyes closed whilst you cooled down, wind flowing modestly through your hair.
feeling refreshed enough, you headed back to bed. you carefully slid your glass onto the nightside table, hoping there was a enough space on the already small and cluttered surface—equipped with yours and subong's charging phones, hair ties, ibuprofen, whatever else you were too lazy to properly put away, and not lit since there was no room for a lamp—but guessed wrong, accidentally sliding both phones off. a loud clatter rang throughout the apartment, "shit!" you cursed under your breath, quickly eyeing subong. he didn't flinch, snoring peacefully. you picked the phones up, plugged his back in, and set them onto the table securely. a notif came up on his screen. by chance, your eyes glanced over. what was a mere peek became a full on stare.
it was from a crypto app. you didn't have to be a genius to know; the word was in the name of the fucking app. you read the notif before his screen went dark: You have an update on your investment. Tap to view. you have got to be fucking kidding me. you thought to yourself. without thinking, you unplugged his phone, tapping his screen to see it again. but the notif was now hidden, requiring his face id or passcode to view. is his passcode still the same as before? you wondered, thinking of those times he'd let you use his phone to connect him to the wifi, or send yourself photos from dates he'd always forget to. you look over your shoulder at his sleeping form, clueless. forget ethics, forget respecting privacy, forget trusting your partner; your brain was in overdrive. this better fucking work. you swipe up, typing 6969—it works. you tap the notif, the app loads quickly. your eyes run over an interface filled with lingo you don't know or care for and usernames that should be put on a watchlist, but then you find it: his profile. you click the icon on the bottom right corner, seeing the Investments tab with an encircled 1 next to it, clicking it, waiting for the screen to load. it only took a couple of seconds, but it was long enough to make you nervously gnaw at your bottom lip and tap your foot. then it loaded.
-850 MILLION KRW — in unmissable red at the top of the screen, above a graph you could only guess illustrated the fluctuation of his money, and other bullshit you couldn't comprehend in the moment. you stared. in silence, numb. before you knew it, the number changed: -1.19 BILLION KRW. your thumb acted before your brain could, scrolling, finding the extensive histories of his investments. he was betting hourly during the day with money he certainly did not have, losing thousands. you scrolled even deeper, finding investments from before you broke up. 50,000 krw here, 5 million there, 30 million another day .... he'd been lying that entire time. selfishly keeping more for himself, all the while consoling your crying state from not being able to make rent in time, even with what you suspected to be all he had ("i'm so sorry, baby. you don't deserve this. we don't deserve this. i'll fight your landlord for you, don't worry.") what utter bullshit.
it was all lies. it was all deception. and now he was back in your bed, peacefully asleep like everything was okay. you let him back into your life, thinking everything was going to be fucking okay. you squeeze his phone in your hand, arm shaking. your other hand sinks your fingers into your knee, as if to prevent from screaming; trying to find another outlet for the anger—fuck it! irate, you grab your glass of water and rush to his side of the bed, throwing it onto his face. he shot up immediately. you paced back and forth, eyes rolling at his coughing fit. "wha—what?" his voice was gravely, wiping his eyes. "was that—was that water?" he asked stupidly. "yes it was fucking water!" you spoke loudly, irritated at the sight of his barely opened eyes."what're you yelling for?" his voice was lower than usual, clouded by looming sleep. "it's, like, four in the morning, baby."
"don't you fucking 'baby' me." you muttered, marching up to him. you showed him his screen. "the fuck is this? hm?" "what?" he asked, wiping water off his forehead. you threw his phone onto his lap. "check your fucking investments." he picked up his phone and scrolled. he didn't say a word. you continued to pace like a madwoman, back and forth, nothing filling the air but the skid of the heels of your feet against the floor. you mentally cursed and screamed, thoughts so scrambled that if you opened your mouth all that would come out would be jibberish, so you paced. and paced. and paced. it could've been anywhere between five or ten minutes when you stopped. "well?" you asked sharply, arms crossed over your chest. "how much money did you fucking make?"
"why'd you look at my phone?" asked subong. he was trying so hard to avoid openly showing his shame; his pride prevailing. "that's—" you stuttered. "that's seriously what you're asking right now?" "yes, that's what i'm fucking asking right the fuck now." he looked up at you, meeting your eyes with an unreadable expression. "you just threw water in my face. i get to ask questions." "you're a billion in debt!" you whisper-yelled, afraid your eyes would water if you were any louder. you trudged to his side of the bed, eyes wide and finger to his chest. he stared at you blankly, a twitch of his eyebrow outed his mounting frustration at his stifled shame. "you're a billion in debt, subong. where did you ... where did you even get all that money?" you swallowed, taking a step back, eyes looking everywhere but him to thwart the mounting glossiness. "why did you lie to me? all those times, all those times where i felt like it was the end. where i felt like i was at a dead end." you gestured to the couch with your hand, staring at him. "and you ... you lied. you were selfish, and didn't want to help. i ... i saw everything, subong. i know you kept on lying about your earnings when we were together."
another beat of silence. "subong, why did you put so much money into—" "—why'd you look at my phone? hm?" he interrupted, eyes wide. "why couldn't you just mind your fucking business?" "you're a billion in debt—" "i didn't owe you anything!" subong suddenly yelled, catching you off guard. he ripped the duvet off, marching up to you, finger in your face. "i didn't owe you fucking anything." he repeated, breathing hard through his nostrils. "what was it you said to me? hm? that it's my money, my punishment to have? so let me fucking have it." "you owed me everything!" you yelled, smacking his hand away. "you owed me the fucking truth!" he turned around, walking to the window leading to the balcony, hands roughly rubbing his face and hair. "why didn't you just tell me? why did you hide—" "—i did it all for you."
your eyes widened and jaw fell, appalled. "oh my god." you muttered to yourself, but he overheard. "i'm going fucking crazy. i'm going fucking crazy." you ran your hands through your hair, pacing. "i know you did not just ... i know you did not just say that." you shook your head. "how could you be so fucking stupid. how could i be so fucking stupid?" subong whipped his head around. "hey! don't call me stupid!" he walked up to you, growing angrier with your ignoring him. "hey!" he exclaimed. "don't call me stupid! i'm not stupid for taking initiative, or, or doing shit because i care about you!" his arms flailed.
"oh..." you shook your head, facing him. he felt like a first grader being told off by his teacher, frustratingly shifting his weight between his feet, unsure of where to put this uncomfortable energy. "oh no, subong. this isn't caring. this is being a complete and utter dumbass." you said, eyes porous in realization. tears were no longer in the realm of possibility. now, it was just pity. "there's no coming back from this." you made sure he knew. "you're fucked." "i know that!" he yelled, vein tight in his temple. "you don't think i fucking know that!?" subong's eyebrows furrowed. it was his turn to avoid crying. he looked away hastily, cursing repeatedly under his breath as if it'd ward off his blurring vision. he blinked hard—"i ... i tried everything." he muttered, bottom lip quivering. "i ... made deals with dangerous p-people." he cleared his throat. "i slept on benches. my own mother wouldn't pick up my calls. i've disappointed her too many times. and you ... you," he cleared his throat again. "you weren't an option." he shook his head, a tear landing on his arm. he inhaled sharply through his nose. "but ... but i have this one last chance—"
"—you're hopeless." you cut him off. "you're the worst person i've ever fucking met." subong looked at you, silently pleading to take those words back. "no." he sounded wounded. "you don't ... you don't mean that." "i do. i mean every word." you nodded. "i must have done something really horrible in a past life to be cursed with loving someone as hurtful as you." "no ..." he shook his head, his palms flattening his hair. "you don't mean what you're saying." "i do!" you yelled, voice cracking, heartbeat in your throat. a shaky breath left his lips, eyes staring at the ceiling and blinking fast, waterline feeling heavy. "no ... no, no." he muttered to himself. he took your face in his hands, eyes darting around your features, making them out even in the meek lighting of the slowly emerging sunrise. you stared blankly at the floor, emotionless between his palms.
"you don't mean those words. i know you don't." he spoke aloud, trying to convince himself. "you don't mean them." his fingers combed your hair out of your face. "i've been trying so hard. i'm so fucking scared, baby." subong shook his head quickly, but it didn't halt his falling tears. "i f-fucked up so bad." he whispered, lips quivering. he pressed kisses to your supple skin, attempting to fill the eerie silence. "but i promise—" his lips peppering your face. "i promise i'm going to fix all of this. i have a plan." subong tasted something salty, seeing a tear having fallen down your cheek. "no, no." he tutted gently, kissing it away. "don't cry. you're too beautiful to cry over a loser like me, baby." he kissed that same spot. "no, no. don't cry. here, let me hold you. come here." his lips trailed to the back of your jaw, arms wrapping loosely around your waist. even in his desperation, he was unsure. his eyes glanced at the glimmer of your dainty diamond drop earrings. "the earrings look good on you. you've always had good taste." he muttered against your shoulder. you didn't move. nor say a word. the silence was killing him. "i've been scared for so long." he whispered. your shoulder felt wet. "please ... please hold me."
he said no apology. no "i'm sorry," no "i regret this." it was a tale as old as time: redirected sympathy; a murky, multi-layered distraction, him avoiding taking full responsibility. you sympathized with his pain, you felt his hurt and the monstrous circumstance, but at some fucking point, there is only so much you could do. there is so much strength one could muster; so much mercy a heart could offer. this wasn't your problem, and you weren't going to go out of your way to make it yours. it was time to draw the line. right here, right now. you didn't recognize the man before you. he was a stranger: "subong?" "yes?" he responded quickly, a hint of hope in his tone. "when were you going to tell me about your debt?"
subong was silent, but you spoke for him. "when i get a promotion? when i get laid off? when there's an eviction notice on my door? after we elope at the courthouse, or when i tell you you're the father of my baby? hm? when were you going to tell me?" your voice was unexpectedly gentle. his shoulders started to shake, quietly sobbing. "when, subong? when?" "forgive me." he pleaded. "forgive me. please, baby—" "—get off of me." you pushed him away, slipping out of his embrace. he wiped his face with the back of his hand. "you're—you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." "you're the worst!" you exclaimed. "it's exhausting loving you! it's torture! i'm decaying from the inside!"
you took a breath, looking at this pathetic form. "i've forgiven you too much." you shook your head. "you've made me a stranger to myself. you take, and you take, and you take. i share my home, i let you fuck me, i let myself think you respect me—" "—i d-do, baby, i do! i lo—" "—i let you into the deepest, darkest pits of who i am, and you let me cry over your fucking nail polish while you were throwing away millions into something that isn't even fucking real. and you have the audacity to say it was for me?" you gesture to yourself. "as much as i tried to fix you, stupidity is in incurable disease. you're the dumbest person i've ever fucking met. you're not even smart enough to say 'i'm sorry.'"
"i never want to see you again." you turn around, your back facing him. "you don't know me. i don't know you. get out." this was it. you didn't move your eyes from the kitchen floor tiles as you heard him collect his things—the clinking of his belt; his shallow breaths; his heavy, stuttered footsteps; the clean swoosh of his pants as he put them on; over-pronounced inhales; his shoving of his feet into his sneakers—punctuated by the slam of the door. you slowly turned around. the oven read 4:53 AM. you sat on the couch, the silence heavy, only moderately cut through by the sporadic chirping of the birds outside. you sunk into the cheap cushions, hands coming up to your face, chest convulsing.
subong didn't know how long he'd been walking for. he was numb; eyes wet, cheeks swollen, snot dried, sneakers carelessly dragging against the sidewalk. the sun had risen. he could hear the taxis driving by, or catch in his peripheral vision the sight of people hurriedly leaving their apartment buildings as the morning commute commenced, but his gaze never shifted from aimless. he was wandering; nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. his chest heaved and his heart pounded in his temples, feelings buried in an overly complicated web that made his ears ring. subong's tongue was dry from breathing through his mouth, but he was so out of it he didn't bother to close his jaw.
it was the ring of a pedestrian's bike bell that temporarily took him out of this trance, stumbling a few steps to the right, letting them pass. "i'm sorry." he muttered weakly. it was only then that he looked at his surroundings, realizing he was walking along a bridge. seeing the water flow below him without issue made him feel so inconsequentially small, almost as if the car driving by or the subtle whispers of the leaves rattling in the wind told him that no matter what he did, or what he went through, or what he said, nature will be there before and after. "excuse me, sir." a voice said. subong's head felt heavy, but he turned it nonetheless. it was the man in the suit from a week ago. "i forgot to give you this after our game last week." he handed subong what looked to be a business card. "my sincerest apologies. i kindly ask that you forgive me, sir." with that, he walked away.
you woke up on the couch in the late morning, having slept through your phone alarm. you had the day off, so that wasn't exactly a concern, only to jolt awake from seering pain on side of your neck and lower back from falling asleep in such a cramped, awkward position. it was hot in the apartment again. you gradually stood on your feet, carefully stretching. "fuck." you mutter under your breath. you moved to the bathroom. you peeled your clothes off, throwing them mindlessly into the hamper. before you stepped into the shower, the glimmer of your earrings caught your sight. you tucked your hair back, staring hard into the mirror. memories of the night previous came rushing back. your quivering lip made you mad all over again, quickly taking the earrings off, throwing them into the trash bin without second thought.
you did errands. you went to work the next day. you quit your job three months later, having landed a better paying one on the opposite side of the city. a year later, you were longed moved out of your small studio and into your one bedroom abode, equipped with an in house dryer and washer. you had new friends. you had a new life. in the end, you really did get your wish of never seeing subong again.
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jazzthatonewriterchick · 14 days ago
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IS IT MINE? (Connie x Black!F!Reader 18+ One Shot)
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Pairing: Connie Springer x Black!Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Connie doesn’t take too kindly to you, his pretty little bimbo girlfriend, chatting up his team during an interview after his big fight. But lucky for him, he has many ways to show you how to correct your mistakes and prove to him that you’re his-his favorite little trophy.
Warnings: No Titans AU; Boxer!BF!Connie x Bimbo!GF!Reader; Public/Locker Room Sex; Mirror Sex; Teasing; Cock Worship; Degradation; Facial Abuse; Hair-Pulling; Choking; Face Slapping; Cum/Spit Play; Connie is a Dirty Talker AND a Muncher; Pussy-Drunk!Connie; Multiple Os; Doggystyle; Cum-Drunk!Reader; Mating Press; Daddy Kink; MDom!Connie x fsub!Reader; Some Spanish; Multiple Creampies & Cum-Shots
Writer’s Note: I had this idea after listening to Leon Thomas' ass for over a week now lol. This was originally gonna be a Sukuna one-shot, but then I decided to do someone I haven't done before after falling down the AOT rabbit hole again: MY CONNIE. Enjoy! -Jazz
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“C-Connie, please! I-I…ah! I said I was sorry!”
The young UFC fighter standing at 5'9 and most definitely taller than your short stack ass has you pushed against the wall, one of his knees wedged between the cushiony, soft, plush inner thighs that he so loves to kiss, bite, and love on when he isn't training for a fight.
You should've known better than to have worn your favorite (and his favorite) fiery-hot red mini dress to his big championship match. The kind with that buttery-soft material that feels like silk against Connie's fingers as he glides them down your beautiful, delectable, pudgy body and has a low cut so your tits are damn near popping out of your push-up bra.
But it was a big event tonight! Televised and everything! You wanted to look nice for your man and the cameras, so you pulled out your sexiest along with some red heeled mules, Fenty Gloss to make your lips nice and juicy, and Connie's oversized leather jacket because he just LOVES seeing his baby wearing his clothes.
Once backstage and in the hallway near the backrooms, he damn near ripped his jacket off to explore your body with his hands, calloused and bruised from the previous fight and years of training. His lips heatedly caress your exposed neck, nuzzling into the scent of your sugary whipped cream-scented body mist, as he leaves sloppy kisses there.
“Oh, so now you’re sorry,” he huffs. “You definitely weren’t when you were chattin’ up my fuckin’ trainer.” He pulls away from your neck to instead kiss your pouty lips, caressing your chin and rubbing his knee up against your satin panties...which he's pretty sure is a thong.
The way that thing behind you was moving tonight as you went to your seat in the VIP section near the boxing ring was just too damn noticeable. He damn near lost focus in the ring going against his opponent because he was too busy watching you-his baby; his love; his cutest little fan.
You were in the stands cheering him on alongside Eren, his trainer and best friend, Armin, Connie's assistant who swears that he isn't, and Reiner, Connie's agent. You had a sign and everything. "I decorated it myself!" you proudly exclaimed when he swooped you up after the fight, sweaty and tired, but you enthusiastically kissed him anyway, the cameras all in your face.
You truly are a prize. The prettiest trophy to behold. Not even Connie's new championship belt can compare...though it did feel nice to knock that cocky Russian fuck out cold and hear the countdown before the final bell rung. He had been training for this fight for months, sometimes missing out on dates with you, but that he would make up for with some heated sex and cuddling sessions.
You understood. You always understood. You truly are a trophy...and others seem to know it too. Why else would Eren, Armin, and Reiner be chatting you up backstage during Connie's interview?
Right in his face.
And you were chatting right back, smiling that big, pretty smile and flaunting those pretty tits that Reiner and Eren had major eyes on. Especially Eren, the disrespectful fuck.
“I bet you loved his eyes all over this,” he growls. He takes a handful of your ass, laying it flat on the juicy cheeks with a smack that echos throughout the empty hallway. “And then my agent comes waltzin’ over to tell you how pretty you look.”
Connie was simmering mad. It's bad enough those motherfuckers flirt with every pretty girl that comes their way, but with YOU?! Did they do it just to get on his nerves? To make him sweat during his interview?
And when you gladly conversed with them and giggled at their compliments, it took everything in him to not throw the damn microphone at Reiner's head and crash out on everybody. Unfortunately for Connie, he is a major hot head and your fine ass don't make it no better.
One could say he is possessive. Another could say he is obsessive. Either way, he doesn't play about you. Especially when it comes to other men. He knows how sweet you are and he knows that men can take advantage of that.
But this is one of those times where you're just too nice and you need to be taught lesson about who the fuck you should be smiling and giggling at. “I-It was just a compliment!” you whine. “They know I’m with you, Con!"
Your nails, glittery and bejeweled for tonight's event, drag down Connie's tan skin, defined, muscular back, and toned arms roped in ink. How you love his tattoos. You've always been a sucker for them plus the brow pierced, the lip ring that adorns his plump bottom lip, and his buzzcut. It is all supposed to be intimidating, but it turned you on the first day you met him at the gym when he helped you reach a towel.
Connie hums in a disagreement, gently nipping at your bottom lip. “Clearly not. And clearly, you don’t either.” He pulls away to give you a smile laced with wickedness and seduction. It makes you weak in the knees. “So lemme remind you, baby.”
Your pretty, brown eyes widen in alarm. "O-Out here?" you whimper. You look down the hallway, barely even hearing the commotion backstage of other interviews and cameras snapping photos.
Connie gives you a confused look, his brows furrowed, and then begins to laugh. "No, silly girl!" he cackles, giving your ass another squeeze. "I'm not tryna be arrested for indecent exposure. It's bad enough I get caught free-ballin' today."
His hazel eyes glow with mirth and you feel yourself flush as he grinds himself against your core. The hot-headed, quick-witted fighter is known to leave your crib and go straight to a stadium without his underwear. Today was no different. He left your apartment at drawn, leaving you with a sweet kiss, and arrived to the stadium in just his shorts...nothing underneath.
So, of course, the cameras caught the outline of his big dick swinging around underneath the thin basketball shorts...not that you complained. You love it when people thirst after your man.
Your eyes tick down to his shorts now, straining to see the prized possession underneath: thick, pretty, tan cock that he has made very clearly is yours and only yours.
Connie notices your eyes gazing downward and grips your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Oh, you wanna see?" he teasingly asks. "Fuckin' little slut. Bet that's all you were thinkin' 'bout while I was in that ring."
He pushes you farther into the wall, pressing his harder, toned body against your softer, plushier one. "Bet you wanted my shorts to fall down so you could see that big cock on the full screen." His lips glide down the side of your neck to trail down to your chest, pressing kisses to the soft tops of those tits.
"Connie," you whisper. Your panties have begun to grow tight and uncomfortable against his knee, signaling your arousal. But then again, you were aroused when he nearly flew from the interview table and pulled you away from Eren and Reiner, dragging you down the hall to his dressing room.
Seeing Connie fight always gets you wet. You love how fast and strong he is, determined to win. He takes his fighting very seriously and has made himself known in the UFC world as a capable boxer. Seeing him punch noses and clock jaws has become sort of a kink of yours. Something about the brute strength he possesses and the aggression.
Aggression that you'll probably be getting tonight. "Lucky for you, baby, this is all for you." Connie takes your hand and presses it against his bulge that has begun to harden. You exhale, shuddering at the hard, pulsing, throbbing outline of his dick. You're practically salivating...from your mouth AND your pussy.
But just as quickly as it happens, it's done and Connie tears your hand away from his dick and pulls you off of the wall. You let out a little gasp as he drags you over to the door to his dressing room, yanks his key out from under the door, and unlocks it.
SMACK!
He gives your ass another hard smack that makes you squeak and your pussy throb. "Get the fuck in there," he growls. You do as you are told, quickly walking into the lavender-scented room with its royal blue walls, snack tables, private locker room and shower, and comfy furniture.
Connie shuts the door behind him, not even bothering to lock it. No one is coming in here. You stand there in the middle of the floor as he tosses his jacket aside and saunters up to you in his shorts, clean tee, and sneakers. You feel like you have been shot with a tranquilizer dart: you can't move an inch.
Your boyfriend finally makes it to you and yanks you to him by your hand. Your body reacts in excitement at being snatched up like that, your nipples hardening and your pussy twitching in your panties. Being so close to him and smelling the sweat and cologne in his skin doesn't help.
"Ya looked so pretty fa' me tonight, baby," he coos, one hand on your waist while the other caressing your cheek. "It...was all for me, right?" You melt from his touch, nuzzling your cheek into his palm. "Y-Yes, Papi," you whimper out. "Of course, it was. I only wear these clothes for you."
Only the tightest, shortest, skimpiest, sexiest clothes for your man. Your style of choice is considered "bimbo-ish" in general, but you love it and so does Connie. He doesn't care at all about what you wear. In fact, he implores you to wear the shortest skirts and lowest tops to give dudes a taste of what they will NEVER have.
"Aww, baby," Connie coos. His eyes fill with adoration for you. "You almost make me want to not punish your ass." His smile fades and you feel your stomach flip over. "Bend over that fuckin' couch."
He nods over to the plush couch sitting just a foot away from you in front of a full-length mirror that captures everything that is happening and will happen. Obediently, you saunter over to the couch and bend over, your back arched and your arms gripping the back of the couch.
Your body stifles when you feel fingers caress your spine, gliding down your back over the soft fabric of your dress. "What's the fuss, mama?" Connie chuckles. "It's just me. You got nothin' to be afraid of."
You gulp as you feel him peel your dress up to expose your plump ass in your thong...but not just any thong. "A G-string?!" he scoffs. "I knew somethin' was up with this dress. You needy little minx."
SPANK!
The first swat on your ass is a surprise and harsh, the loud clap of his palm hitting your right cheek echoing throughout the room. You flinch at the harsh, fiery sensation, but you know you'll have to get used to it because it isn't the only one. The next two are just as rough.
SPANK!
SPANK!
"Ow!" you shout, gritting your teeth at the fire licking across your ass from your boyfriend's assault. "Connie, wait-"
But you can't finish because your boyfriend is sitting down next to you and tossing you over his lap. You gasp as you fly over his legs right onto his groin, your ass tooted in the air for him. "Sorry, baby," he chuckles. "You got me excited. Can't help how this ass makes me feel."
And then his hand is coming down onto your butt again, making it glow and damn near putting his handprint on the soft, brown globes of fat that he just loves to touch, kiss, bite, lick, and massage every chance he gets:
SPANK!
SPANK!
SPANK!
Or in this case, smack. “You take those spankings like a champ, mami,” Connie coos. “That’s my girl.”
Soft moans and whimpers fly from your lips with every harsh hit, tears springing into your brown eyes and wetting your lash line. "Oh, fuck!" you sob. "P-Please stop, Con! It hurts!"
Connie pauses, smirking down at his pretty baby pulled over his lap with her ass all glowy and sore. "Yeah?" he teasingly asks. "Then why is your pussy so wet for me, huh?" You go rigid, realizing you've been exposed for the slut you are.
You feel Connie's hand wedge between your thighs and you moan as it glides against the soaked spot of your thon. "You think I can't feel you rubbin' yourself against my dick, puta?" Your heart leaps at the degrading name. You love it when Connie speaks in his native tongue. He tsks, shaking his head. "Guess I'll have to try more drastic measures."
He harshly pulls you up to look at him, his eyes aglow with lust and a noticeable tent in his shorts. He begins to strip you out of your dress, dragging the slinky thing down your body after pulling the straps down your shoulders. "You don't get this dick that easily, mama...not till you give me what I want." And you know exactly what that is.
Suddenly, he has you on your back and your thighs open for him, your G-string and your dress discarded on the floor. The only thing he has left on you are your shoes, your pretty, pedicured toes peeking out of the mules.
Connie gazes down at the gorgeous, glistening, brown lips before him, salivating at the very sight of you. He sighs, giving you the impression that he has been waiting for this. "I've won so many awards, but none are better than this pretty lil' pussy." And he means that. You know he does.
There is no more talking once his pierced tongue is inside of you and his hands are pinning your plushy thighs apart, his fingers caressing your stretch marks as he sucks, licks, and devours your cunt. The cold metal of his tongue ring melts against your hot, soaked pussy, somehow stimulating you more.
You writhe and shiver under his ministrations, one hand gripping the couch while the other grasps his scalp for dear life. "O-Oh, my God!" you choke out. "Oh, Papi, please! Go faster! You're so good at this, fu-u-u-ck!"
You are loud and unable to keep your voice down, but neither one of you cares. You are both too deep in the throes of pleasure to care about noise. Connie moans into your wet pussy, loving how sticky you are and how your ass cushions his chin as he laps away at your juices. "Mmm-hmm," he mumbles. "You had the nerve to flirt with Eren even though we know damn well only I can make you feel like this."
You whimper at his criticizing words, your pretty lips wobbling. "I-I wasn't-"
"I'm sorry, baby," he interrupts, giving you an apologetic look as he takes his thumb and rubs your clit. "Lemme correct myself: maybe you weren't flirtin' with him, but he was definitely flirtin' with you." He stares up at you, his eyes angry. "And I don't like that."
His tongue cascades down to your asscrack, licking up the trail of juices that slipped down there. You damn near scream to the heavens as his tongue caresses the sensitive little hole between your ass before he travels back up to your pussy, gently sucking on your lips. "Oh, shit!" you moan.
You're seeing the entire galaxy behind your eyelids while Connie is busy indulging in your soaking pussy, taking as much as he is giving. "Nobody fucks with what's mine," he growls. "And this is mine...isn't it?"
He pauses, stilling his thumb on your clit. Your body twitches in desperation, needing to cum. "Yes!" you sob. "Yes, Papi, it's yours! I'm fuckin' yours! Please make your baby girl cum!" You feel Connie smile against your pussy before going back to lapping at your cunt while he rubs your needy button in semi-circles, making your hips buck and your core tighten.
It doesn't take long for your orgasm to crest, rising to the surface like the sun rising over a grand sea. With a loud moan that steals the air from your lungs, you cream all over Connie's panting, pierced tongue, spilling your nut all over his soft lips and chin. But he doesn't eagerly lap it up or talk you through your orgasm like he usually does.
Instead, he sits up, wipes his mouth, and stares you down hard. You stare at him, confused and slightly scared of his intense glare. "W-What are you doing?" you pant. "Why'd you stop?"
SMACK!
Connie's hand slaps against your soddened, wet cunt, making you yelp from the sensitivity. "Cause you've seemed to have forgotten your place. You listen to me and I didn't say you could cum...yet you did it anyway."
Your stomach twists, realizing your mistake. What if he doesn't fuck you now? Or what if he fucks you dumb and fills you up with his spunk without letting you cum once? Or what if he makes you cum over and over again without a pause or a break to bring you to tears and pleas to stop?
He leans in toward you, squeezing your cheeks between his hand, making your lips pucker like a fish. "Now, what do you think I should do about a brat like you, huh, mama?" he whispers, cocking his head to the side. "Should I fuck you into submission?"
A tiny, shuddery exhale leaves your lips, one of hope. But then he clicks his tongue, making a sour face at you. "Nah; I'd like to fuck that slutty ass mouth first. That mouth just loves to chat up dudes that it shouldn't."
He keeps his intense, all-ablaze eyes on you as he yanks on the drawstring holding his shorts up. They tumble down his tan, toned thighs, revealing his Armani boxers that he pulls down his V-line in one swift motion. He strips off his shirt with one hand, pulling it over his head by reaching behind his neck to grab the collar.
Soon, he is completely naked and stands before you, his glistening muscles, tan skin, and tattoos on full display. All for you. Your hands and lips ache to touch, kiss, and lick him like a lollipop...especially the pretty dick hanging between his thighs. Thick. Curved. Dripping in pre-cum. Bobbing, throbbing, and hard all for you.
Your boyfriend wordlessly helps you stand and gently pushes you down onto your knees. Your eyes widen at his cock twitching in your face. "Con-"
"Ah-ah," he tuts, pressing a finger to your lips. "Shut up and open that pretty mouth for me, mama. No words. Just worship this dick since you wanted it so bad." He gives you a cocky, crooked smile that makes your stomach flip-flop and your cunt throb. Damn pretty motherfucker.
Unable to resist him or his delicious cock, you spread your lips and wrap them around the shaft while your hand wraps around the base, gently stroking in time with your sucking. Connie watches your pretty, pink lips stretch around his dick as you take him in your mouth, your head bobbing slightly as you do.
His teeth sink into his bottom lip at the wonderful feeling of your soft lips and wet tongue caressing every sensitive spot of his cock, coating it in your spit. "Dis mío, baby," he groans. "You're so pretty down there." He slowly pulls out, groaning as he does when he catches the string of spit that connects his head to your bottom lip.
"Ya like suckin' Papi's cock?" he asks as he gently slaps his head against your pouty, glossy lips and your soft cheeks. You slowly nod, your eyes hooded and seductive. "Yes," you whimper. "I love it, Papi."
Connie shivers, loving it when you get this slutty for him. It means you're just as horny for him as he is for you. He grabs the back of your head and directs you back down his cock. "Yeah, Papi knows you do," he coos as you swallow him whole. "He knows you'd never intentionally try to fuck with him. Sometimes, slutty bimbos like you just need a little...redirection."
As your throat begins to open around him, he takes that as a sign to begin fucking your throat. Really fucking it. Like it's a toy. He grips your hair and rolls his hips, filling your mouth to the brim with his dick as his head just passes the threshold of your sloppy, tight throat.
"Fuck!" he loudly groans. "Look at her. Look at that sexy lil' thing in that mirror." You shift your eyes slightly to the right where, sure enough, the mirror plastered against the wall behind the couch catches sight of the nasty sight it beholds.
You almost don't recognize yourself as the curvy girl with all of her rolls, stretch marks, and love handles on her knees before the stud who is plunging his cock in and out of her mouth, luscious moans and swears in Spanish dripping from his lips.
"Who's that gettin' her face and her makeup fucked, huh?" Connie grunts, still fucking your mouth and making you gag as you stare. You. It's you taking that cock like a champ with spit dripping down your chin and your mascara slightly caking your lash line.
"You love this rough shit, don't you?" Connie chuckles, staring down at you in adoration. "Damn, babe, you must be REALLY horny." You are. You can't help but rock your hips as you grind your pussy against the floor in an effort to relieve yourself.
"Mmm-hmmph!" you mumble around Connie's cock. With a soft groan, he pulls himself out of your mouth, his dick now slick with saliva. He tilts your chin up to face him, nearly giving you whiplash. "You wanna ask me somethin'?"
You swallow the spit and pre caught in your throat before finally finding the energy to speak. "Please fuck me, Papi?" you softly question. "Will you please bend me over and fuck me? I need you so badly."
You begin nuzzling your face against his hard cock, pressing soft, teasing kisses along the shaft. "Please, please, please," you whimper. "Please fuck me." You suddenly feel the cock against your cheek stiffen even more, the one, large vein trailing from the heavy, cum-filled balls to the tip pulsing in need.
Suddenly, Connie has you on all fours in front of the mirror and he is mounting you from behind, his cock gently slapping against your soft, jiggly asscheeks. You stare at your boyfriend in the mirror, noticing how his brow is furrowed in concentration and sweat has collected between his jiggly pecs.
"Don't look away from that mirror till I say so," he demands. "I want you to watch yourself get fucked dumb in that bitch." And then he's sliding that dick inside of you, making your velvety, wet pussy walls stretch around his length. It jolts your senses awake and draws a loud, longing moan out of your and Connie's mouths.
His hands grip your soft hips as leverage to draw himself in and out of you, going at a steady, slow tempo at first. But then, once the need builds and slow isn't ideal anymore, he speeds up his thrusts until his hips are slamming against yours and clapping sounds drift through the air like a goddamn audience is applauding.
Your mouth falls agape on various moans, squeaks, and whines as your boyfriend fucks you in doggystyle, giving you backshots like it will be the last time he will do so. "A-Ah!" you gasp. "Oh, my God, Connie, yes! Fuck yes, fuck me! Fuck me just like that!"
Connie grins at you in the mirror, loving how your titties and ass bounce and jiggle with every thrust of his hips. "Yeah? Like this?" He props one leg up and proceeds to nail that spot in your pussy that makes you see stars. "Is that what my mama likes?" he grunts. "Is that what she needs?"
You can't even speak. Your mind is mush, only melting more and more as your clit becomes overstimulated from Connie's balls slapping against it every time he pistons himself forward to fill your pussy up with his cock.
One hand grips one of your titties, massaging it in his palm, with the other grips your asscheek for dear life, jiggling it in enjoyment. "God, this fuckin' pussy," Connie pants. "I'd give up all the fuckin' trophies for this every single day forever, baby. You know that, right?"
Yes, you know. And you know he means it. That only makes your need increase and your moans grow louder and more intense as his fucking speeds up until he is rutting into you. "Connie! I'm gonna cum soon!" You can feel your second orgasm rising, but you hold out. You need to cum only when he says so.
Connie laughs at you, loving how desperate you've become as you bounce on his dick. "Eager lil' bitch, ain'tcha?" he chuckles. He wraps a hand around your throat, squeezing it firmly as he continues to plunge himself inside of you. "Go 'head and cum for me, baby. I've got plenty more to give you. Cum for me now."
At his growly command, you come undone on his cock, shivering and shaking as your pussy quivers around him. You know that anyone outside of these walls can hear you, but you find yourself not caring. You can't when you feel this good.
"Fuck!" Connie groans, fighting for his life in your pussy. You feel too good stroking him with your walls, nearly draining the cum out of him. He forces himself to pull out and wetly strokes himself against your ass as your cum drips out of your pussy and down your thighs."Not yet," he grunts. "Gotta make sure you understand who you belong to."
He suddenly pushes you down onto the floor, chuckling when you squeak in surprise. "Put that fuckin' face in the floor, bitch." Your cheek smushes into the carpet as he sinks himself inside of you again, nevermind that you just came and your pussy is quite sensitive.
He begins fucking you rough, hard, and fast again, mercilessly nailing that spot that makes your eyes roll back and tears soak your lashes. Connie leans down to hear you make those pathetic whines as he drills your shit, his lips nibbling at your earlobe. "Whose is it?" he groans into your ear. "Whose pussy is this, mama, huh? Is it mine?"
You don't know how you're able to answer. Your brain feels like it has left the building. "Yes!" you whine into the carpet. Connie grips you up by your chin, forcing you to look at yourself and him in the mirror. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. Tell me that again, nice and loud."
Your eyes roam over his tan skin and muscles glistening in sweat. His tattoos. His intense yet loving hazel eyes gazing back at you. "Yes, Connie!" you shout. "Yes, it is! It's yours! I promise it's all yours!"
A slow, wicked smile stretches across Connie's face and he cracks his neck as if he's about to go into a fight. "Oh, I'm gonna fuck you up now, baby."
And he does. The man puts you through the damn wringer, fucking you in every position he can. When he finishes making you cum by drilling your pussy with your face down and your ass up, he tosses you onto the couch and fucks you in missionary, his hips drilling into yours, your legs up and your pretty heels dangling over his broad shoulders.
This is the position that is the end for Connie. He can't help the way your jiggling titties, brown nipples, soft tummy, and big, brown eyes make him feel as he fucks you dumb and gives you deep dick in the couch, making the both of you moan loud and so unabashed. He needs to cum for you. "Gonna cum!" he warns you. "Gonna fill this pussy up!"
You let out a simpering moan, feeling another orgasm rising to the surface. You hold onto his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin. "Keep lookin' at me," he practically begs, his face flushed and eyes hooded. "Look at me while I fill you up, baby."
You have no choice but to ride the wave with him as he fucks your cunt faster, chasing his high. When his body tenses and his eyes roll back, showing the whites of his eyeballs, you know he is done for. With a low, long moan of pure yearning and release, he cums deep inside of you, filling you to the brim with his spunk finally. His orgasm tries another (fifth? Sixth?) mini orgasm that sends tremors throughout your body.
Connie groans as he pulls you to him, sinking his cock as far as he can go just so he can ensure that his cum stays inside of you for a bit longer. "And you'd better not clean that up," he huffs into your ear. "Let it drip when we walk outta here later."
You whimper as the aftershocks kick in, making your body tremble slightly. Your boyfriend holds you close, gently talking you through it. "That's it, baby, let it out," he coos, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "I love you so much."
You feel your heart skip a beat at his proclamation. No matter how many times he says this, you will always react as if it is the first time he is saying it to you. Once you find your voice, you embrace him back despite your sweaty, sticky body. "I love you too, Con," you giggle. "Even if you are insane."
Connie laughs and presses a kiss to your lips, sweetly ending such a rough, hot fuck session. After some more kissing and aftercare snuggles with you sitting in his lap, Connie gently pats your ass to get you to stand. "Now let's get you cleaned up before people come lookin' for us."
Click.
Abruptly, you and Connie look towards the door where, sure enough, you see shadow figures underneath the slot under the door. You gasp, quickly snatching up Connie's jacket and covering yourself with it just as the boxer tugs on his shorts.
He storms over to the door and opens it, revealing none other than his trainer, his agent, and his assistant in the hallway. Caught red-handed. "Or not," Connie finishes. "Fuckin' perverts."
Armin grows as red as a tomato. "I-I was just coming by to tell you that CBS wanted to talk with you," he stammers, doing his very best to not look at you.
"I-It was his idea!" Jean cries, pushing Eren in front of himself and Armin as the first one to get pummeled. "He made me be the lookout! I swear, I'm innocent!"
Eren is as cool as a cucumber, even giving you the eye as he stands right in Connie's face. Those intense, teal eyes... "That's a fat ass lie, but I don't regret shit," he scoffs. "Personally, it was a treat hearin' your pretty girl make those noises."
Connie punches him in the chest, making Eren laugh while he rubs the harsh spot. "Fuckin' asshole," he huffs.
He turns to you, making sure to stand right in the way of the ogling trainer as you grip his jacket closer to your luscious body. "Maybe if he's good and starts respectin' me, I'll let him join us next time."
It is a joke and you know it is...so you don't let your boyfriend or his trainer see how much that turns you on.
THE END.
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kurokawaia · 6 days ago
Note
dabi, hawks, bakugou reaction to kid yelling at their mom ?
DON'T YELL AT YOUR MAMA!
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⋆·˚ ༘ * FEATURING :: Bakugou Katsuki, Hawks, Dabi - (separately)
⋆·˚ ༘ * WARNINGS :: none really, bakugou x fem!reader, hawks x fem!reader, dabi x fem!reader, x fem!reader, second pov, reader is a mother, kids have a little bit of attitude, kids are around 5-8 years of age, slight spoilers for dabi! + more? MINI DRABBLES.
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DABI
Dabi and yours first child has definitely inherited everything from Dabi, there isn't one thing that has been missed. Red hair, blue eyes and that same, quite annoying, sass and attitude. You didn't allow your son to have another cookie, keeping in mind he has had seven, causing him to retort, "Dad doesn't care! Why can't you be more like Dad! You're so annoying, Mum!" This wasn't the first time that your son has lashed out but it was never directed to you, so you didn't know what to do, you just stood there frozen with your lips slightly agape.
Dabi doesn't play around when it comes to you, not even his own child, no one will disrespect you, so you watch your son freeze up as he feels his fathers eyes glaring into the back of his head. "What did you just say? Do you want to repeat that or are you going to apologise?" Dabi asks, leaning down behind him, head next to his sons.
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HAWKS
"You're not the boss of me!" Your daughter yells and you froze in place and you could feel Keigo looking at the both of you from the couch. You were both playing in front of the couches, on the plush carpet with her toys when you had told her, kindly, to pack up because it's time for bed when she began to yell at you with a tone you've never heard from her before.
Hawks makes sure to be a chill dad, being as nice and calm as possible is the best way to go in his mind. He doesn't yell, he never really has, so he wonders how she even learnt how to raise her voice. School, he realises. Keigo lets out a sigh before sitting upright from his previously laying down status and rests his elbows onto his knees. "I know I didn't, nor your mum raise you to speak like that, kid," Keigo scolds very lightly, but it's quite obvious that he doesn't sound very playful anymore. "Apologise," he says without any room for any back chat. Your daughter looks to the floor with tears welled in her eyes already.
Then, later on, he talks to his daughter about how to process frustrating emotions like that so she doesn't hurt her mama's feelings.
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BAKUGOU
Bakugou truly tries to take the gentle parenting method that you opt for, but when his son is a carbon copy of him, it's really hard to do. His son has the exact same tone an attitude that is surprising for a kid to take on at that age but then again, his dad is Katsuki. "There's just one more broccoli on your plate, sweetheart, do you think you could eat it for me?" you ask gently and you were met with an immediate scowl from your son. "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I AM NOT EATING THAT!" All you could do was blink in shock, that was probably the first time that your son ever yelled at you directly about... well, you.
Beside you, Katsuki was about to drink some water but he stopped midway, glass halting in the air as his vermilion eyes lasered onto his sons. "You wanna repeat that?" Katsuki says in almost a dark grumble and his son immediately tenses up, knowing that he stuffed up. Katsuki will not have anyone talk back to you in such a tone, never. "You don’t ever talk to your mum like that again. Not unless you want me to ground your ass for a month. Apologise."
Your son mumbles one with his eyes to his knees.
"I didn't hear you, say it like you mean it or I'll consider that grounding," Katsuki says more sternly and then your son emits a louder apology while looking you in the eye which was enough for you. Because you knew that Katsuki at that age would've never done that so you're proud that he can make his carbon copy can. Instead of giving his son the little scolding later on, Katsuki gives you a scolding on telling you to stop being so nice.
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Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.
honey's a/note:: I hope you guys enjoyed this, im supposed to be working on my report for my assignment but i got bored ^^
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slttygeto · 1 year ago
Text
note: reader knows a bit of french, very self indulgent.
teacher and twin girls dad! suguru who doesn’t watch his mouth around his 11 month old twin girls and ends up saying a curse word. you’re out on a little much needed shopping spree and told him you’ll be back in a bit, but now he wishes to just flee the country because he knows he’s in trouble.
“fuhck!” one of his baby girls repeats after him and all color is drained from his face.
“no no baby-“
“fuck fuck-“ the other twin joins her sister and suguru has to hold his head in his hands as he watches the chaos unfold before him. he needs them to learn another word, or find a word similar to the curse word to avoid getting in trouble with you—oh! he knows what to do.
fuck is similar to a french word you taught him…phoque…the animal, yeah! yeah you’d totally buy that!
“i’m back!” you announce as you open the door and the sound of your babies squealing and crying as they try to crawl towards you makes your heart swell.
“oh pretty girls, did you miss me? I thought you loved papa!” you pick both of them up with so much ease—11 months of learning how to do things when suguru wasn’t around truly paid off.
“hi baby,” suguru emerges from the kitchen with an apron around his waist and you giggle at how small it is before pecking his lips.
“hey there, you look so attractive,” you tease your husband and he rolls his eyes as he tries to take one of your baby girls from you, but she clings onto you and your jaw slightly drops.
“this is new! yesterday you refused to come to me,” you tease your little girl before pecking her check—not without doing the same to your other baby girl of course.
“dada fuhck!”
suguru watches as your smile drops and your head whips toward him and he cannot believe that he shivers at your stare. your husband has seen every side of you, but becoming a mother has definitely made you 10 times scarier (and more attractive).
“what?”
“oh you know, I turned on the TV and there was this french channel that had a documentary about animals and stuff—“
“you don’t even understand french.” shit, you weren’t buying it.
“but you do! and apparently, our girls got that from you—“
“suguru.” you say sternly and he slowly starts to accept his faith.
“chat!” “meoww,” the little interaction between your twin girls is unexpected. the random french coming out of their mouths makes you a bit confused, but suguru doesn’t care—it seems like you’re buying his story.
“that’s…cat in french—okay, but out of every animal they chose to say seal?” you sigh a little and suguru kisses your forehead.
“it’s okay, we can teach them other words like… bonjour?”
“hm, might as well do it.”
thank god you believed his bullshit of a story.
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2023: all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.
—💭 if you like this, leave me a tip!
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asceluffy · 1 year ago
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OP MEN when they’re in the mood pt. 2
ft. Shanks, Mihawk, Katakuri, King (not proofread)
Shanks
Little did you know that it’s you who gets him in the mood every single time. It’s not just a “I’m feeling horny and I need release” typa thing.
He gets riled up when he watches you put on your favorite lipstick, when you try on your newly bought clothes and show it to him, when you walk around the ship with his shirt on, and when you sit on his lap.
His brain is quick to conjure up different positions he’ll fuck you in when you sit on his lap.
At first, he’d rub your inner thigh ‘absentmindedly,’ and when you shift on his leg, that’s when he’ll go further.
With a mug of beer in his other hand and half his attention on his crewmates, his fingers slowly dance their way up your leg until he stops just when he’s near your panties.
While he chats with his members he’ll toy with the garter of your underwear, tugging it at first before he snakes his hand inside just to feel the skin near your pussy.
And when you squirm, he’ll lean near your ear, face flushed with words a little slurred.
“Once they all get wasted and pass out I’m gonna fuck you on my bed, yeah?”
Mihawk
Mihawk is the type of person to plan things before it happens.
He’d feel the need to feel the warmth of your pussy as it clenches on his thick cock, but when he sees you busy he’d patiently wait until your schedule is free.
He’d set up a romantic candlelit dinner, cooking you steak and pouring you the finest wine in his collection.
He’d let out a small, ‘nonchalant’ smile when you compliment his cooking, all while holding himself back from pining you on the table and taking you then and there.
On the middle of the dinner, he’d casually say, “Let’s have sex.” which will lead you to choke on your food.
“After dinner,” You’d say, and in his mind he’s already celebrating.
When you two finish, he’ll ask you to take his hand and lead you to the bedroom, gasping when you see rose petals scattered inside and lovely music playing from his vintage record player.
Katakuri
He’s mostly shy around you, being his first girlfriend and all.
Some people may think that he acts coldly towards you, but it’s only you who truly knows why he acts that way.
You’d know he’s in the mood when he acts cranky and touchy.
He’ll wrap his arm around your waist, fiddle with your fingers, compare hand sizes, and glare at anyone who dares speak to you or even breathe your way.
But when he’s really in the mood, his subtle touches will level up.
He’d rub your inner thighs, fondle your breasts, lightly squeeze your butt.
You’d notice how his breath gets heavier and how his pupils dilate when you get near him.
You’ll notice him staring at you the whole day without saying a damn word, and when you notice these signs you’ll chuckle and pull him into a passionate kiss.
King
King is a busy man, working under Kaido means he has to do things almost 24/7.
The only time you’d spend with him is when’s sent on expeditions, which rarely happens because he’s always glued beside Kaido.
Or, when he just finished a battle.
While his whole system is still pumping with adrenaline from a recent battle, the only reason for him to calm down is to sink into your tight cunt.
When he sees you after he just won a fight, all his pent up energy will shoot straight down his dick.
He’s a man of few words, and once he has you pinned against the wall, you know what will happen next.
“Fuck, I haven’t seen you in a long time. Open your pretty legs for me so I can show you how much I missed you.”
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the-winter-spider · 1 month ago
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I Love You, I'm Sorry
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Bucky x Reader AU
Word Count: 25k+
Warnings: Angst, fluff, sweater, small bit if barley anything smut
A/N: LMAOOO this is so unnecessarily long, I hope you like it! I definitely started to edit this and then just half assed did it and let this edit thing i have take over so hopefully it turned out okay because i was going cross eyed lol
I Miss You, I'm Sorry
-----
It had been almost two years since you’d last seen Bucky.
Two summers of carefully constructed avoidance. Two years of dodging mutual gatherings, leaning on Natasha and Wanda to run interference, and filling your days with work, hobbies, and everything else you could think of to keep yourself from looking back.
For the most part, it worked.
You had finally started to feel… free. Or something close to it. Your friends told you how proud they were, how much you were thriving, and sometimes, you almost believed them. You’d moved forward. You’d learned how to smile and laugh without his shadow hanging over you.
But there were cracks in your façade, ones no one else could see.
At night, when the world was quiet and there was nothing to distract you, your mind always drifted back to him. To the way his voice sounded when he said your name, the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. The way his arms would feel around you, the way his lips would peck your skin and the way his words would soothe you. Till they didn’t but even then it was Bucky. He’d been your person—or at least, you thought he had been.
The right person, wrong time. You held onto that idea like a lifeline, the tiny hope that maybe someday, when you were both different, both ready, it could work. You hated yourself for holding onto the hope of it all, especially with how he treated you. But hope was a fickle bitch.
But that didn’t stop you from trying to move on. You tried, over and over again. New faces, new kisses, new hands brushing against yours. And yet every time, your mind would betray you, comparing each new guy to Bucky.
They didn’t laugh like he did.
They didn’t understand you like he did.
They didn’t know you like he did.
They didn’t make you feel like he did.
You hated yourself for it. For clinging to something that had already broken you one too many times. For hoping for something that wasn’t yours anymore, something that truly never even was.
But you always brushed it aside.
When Maria invited you to her engagement party, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. She was your friend, after all, and Natasha had promised she’d come too. It wasn’t until the day of the party, when Natasha called to say she couldn’t make it—“I’ve caught some kind of flu. Don’t worry, you’re gonna be fine, its not like Bucky will be there” That made your stomach churn, because of course Bucky wouldn't be there, why would he, he wasn't friends with Maria, but the fact Natasha even said his name in itself made your anxiety spike. And Steve knew Maria but he wouldn't bring him when he knew you were going.
You reminded yourself that Natasha wouldn’t steer you wrong. “He doesn’t even know these people,” “Steve wouldn’t do that to you” she had said, her voice reassuring. “You’ll be fine.”
So you put on a dress you hadn’t worn in ages, did your makeup, and told yourself you could handle this. It had been two years. You were fine. He won’t be there.
The party was already in full swing when you arrived. The apartment was beautiful, a spacious loft with floor-to-ceiling windows that framed the New York City skyline. You mingled easily, sipping champagne and chatting with Maria and her fiancé, Chad, who were positively glowing with excitement.
An hour in, you’d almost forgotten your anxiety.
Almost.
“Wow, you look amazing,” a familiar voice said, and you turned to see Steve standing beside you, his kind smile softening the sharp cut of his suit.
“Hey, Steve,” you said, your voice steady as you returned his smile. “You clean up pretty well yourself.”
He chuckled, glancing around before leaning in slightly. “Listen,” he said, his tone dropping to something quieter. “I need to tell you something.”
Your stomach twisted at the seriousness in his voice. “What?”
He hesitated, his eyes scanning your face like he was trying to gauge how you’d react. “Bucky’s here.”
The world seemed to tilt for a second. “What?” you whispered, your voice barely audible. Your hand started to shake, making your champagne spill over.
Steve reached out wrapping his hand around yours, trying to ground you. “He works with Chad,” Steve explained, wincing slightly. “I guess Chad got hired at Bucky’s company, and Buck invited him out to show him around New York. ”
Your mind reeled, piecing it together like a puzzle you didn’t want to solve. Of course.
Steve touched your arm gently, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Are you going to be okay?”
“It’s been two years,” you said, trying to convince yourself as much as him. “I’ll be fine.”
Steve nodded, but the way his eyes lingered on you made it clear he wasn’t entirely convinced. “I’m sorry, I know what he put you through.”
You grabbed his arm before he could walk away, your voice dropping to a whisper. “Is he, um here with anyone?”
Steve hesitated, then shook his head. “No,” he said softly. “He hasn’t really dated in the last couple of years.”
Your heart clenched, but you forced yourself to nod. “Okay.” It wasn’t a huge party by any means but there were enough people crowded in the small house that there was no way he’d be anywhere near you, right?
But then you heard it. It was like all your senses finally turned into your surroundings. The laugh, his laugh. And you started to spiral thinking of the smile and the head toss that went along with it.
You tried to focus on the party, but your nerves buzzed under your skin, your gaze flickering to every corner of the room, your eyes searching for him involentarly.
And then, finally, you saw him.
He was standing by the bar, laughing at something Chad said, a drink in his hand. He looked different—his hair shorter, his beard neatly trimmed—but he was still him. It was still Bucky. His nose still scrunched when he laughed.
And then his eyes locked with yours from across the room.
Everything stopped.
The noise of the party faded, just the thumping of your heart beat was heard, the world narrowing to just the two of you. It was like something out of a movie, and that terrified you because this wasn’t a movie. This was your life, and he’d already broken your heart one too many times.
You couldn’t do it again. You wouldn't.
You made up your mind quickly. You weren’t going to wait around for him to come over, to say something that would unravel everything you’d worked so hard to rebuild. You were panicking.
You found Maria, congratulating her again and leaving your engagement gift with a polite smile. “Natasha sends her congratulations,” you added. “She’ll be at the next party, I promise.”
You headed for the door, your chest tight, your mind racing.
The cool night air bites at your skin as you step out of the building, your heels clicking against the pavement. The distant hum of the city feels a world away from the chaos swirling inside you. You just need to get away—away from the noise, the memories, and him.
But then you hear it.
Footsteps behind you.
And then, his voice.
“Wait!”
Your body stiffens, your heart slamming against your ribs. You don’t turn around. You can’t. Not yet.
“Please,” Bucky says again, his voice closer now, raw and pleading. “Can we talk?”
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, before finally turning to face him. He stops a few feet away, his chest rising and falling heavily like he ran to catch up with you.
“Bucky,” you say, your voice sharp as his name leaves your lips for the first time in years, cutting through the silence. “What is there to talk about? There’s nothing I want to hear from you, and there’s nothing I want to say to you.”
He flinches like your words are a physical blow, but he doesn’t back down. His blue eyes lock onto yours, and for a moment, neither of you say anything.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, his hands trembling at his sides. “Please,” he whispers, the word barely audible.
The weight of his gaze makes it impossible to move, to breathe. You hate how much power he still holds over you, how much his broken voice and watering eyes make your chest ache.
So you linger. You linger in the stillness, saying nothing.
And that’s when he begins to speak.
“I love you.” he says simply, his voice raw and unsteady.
“No.” The word slips from your lips, fast, sharp and broken. “You don’t know what love is.” Your chest heaves as the anger bubbles up, tears pricking at your eyes. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have been with all those other girls. You wouldn’t have let me think, so stupidly, that I was the only one who had that part of you.”
His face twists, the words hitting him like a physical blow. “You were,” he says, his voice cracking as he takes a step closer. “I wasn’t with any of them when I was with you.”
You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “That is such bullshit, Bucky! I saw you. Multiple times, I might add! I know damn well you saw me too, out with different girls every other week like it was nothing—like I was nothing.”
His jaw tightens, his hands balling into fists at his sides as he takes another step closer. “No. I wasn’t with them,” he says, his voice desperate now. “I wasn’t sleeping with anybody else when I was seeing you. And for the record, you were never nothing to me. You were—you are everything.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” you ask, your voice sharp and trembling. You laugh again, a hollow, cutting sound. “Because ‘for the record,’ we were never seeing each other, Bucky. You made damn sure of that.”
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. “You know what I mean,” he says, his tone softer now, almost pleading. “And I truly wasn’t sleeping with anybody else but you. Because I couldn’t.”
The words hang between you, heavy and raw, and your chest tightens as your breath catches in your throat.
“You couldn’t?” you ask, your voice trembling with disbelief. “Why? Because you were saving me from something? Because you didn’t want to hurt me?”
“No,” he says quickly, stepping closer. His hands are trembling as he lifts them slightly, like he wants to reach for you but doesn’t dare. “Because I didn’t want to. I didn’t want anyone else. I still don’t. Not like that. Not the way I want you.”
The admission feels like a knife twisting in your chest, and you take a shaky step back, shaking your head.
“And what? It took you completely ruining me to figure that out?” your voice cracks, your emotions spilling out like a flood. “Why couldn’t you have figured that out two years ago, Bucky? You hurt me so badly.” Your voice cracked.
His shoulders slump, and the defeat in his posture almost makes you falter. “I know,” he says quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know I did. And I’ll hate myself for it for the rest of my life.”
Your throat tightens, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “Then why? Why didn’t you just let me in? You made me feel like I was nothing, like I didn’t matter, when all I ever did was try to love you!”
His eyes snap to yours, the intensity in his gaze making your heart lurch. “Because I didn’t think I could love you back the way you deserved,” he says, his voice cracking. “I thought if I let you in, I’d ruin you. I thought I was protecting you, but all I did was make it worse. Because, God, do I love you more than anything.”
Your chest heaves with the weight of his words, and you wrap your arms around yourself as if it could stop the ache spreading through you. “You didn’t just make it worse, Bucky,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “You broke me.”
He steps closer, his hand reaching out like he wants to touch you but stops just short. “And I’m trying to fix it,” he says softly. “I know I can’t take it back, but I’ll spend the rest of my time trying to make it right if you let me.”
You shake your head, a bitter laugh slipping past your lips. “You think it’s that easy? That you can just say all the right things now and I’ll forget about the years I spent breaking myself over you?”
“No,” he says quickly, his voice firm. “I don’t think it’s easy. I don’t expect you to forget. I just… I want a chance. A real one. To show you that I can be better. That I am better. I'll do anything.”
The silence stretches between you, thick and suffocating, broken only by the sound of your shaky breathing.
“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” you admit, your voice barely audible.
“I’ll earn it,” he says softly. “Every single day, I’ll earn it. Please, I love you.”
Your heart aches as you stare at him, the war between your love for him and your fear of being hurt again raging inside you, “I'm sorry” you say softly with one last glance at him you turn around and leave.
---
The morning after the confrontation with Bucky, you find yourself sitting at a coffee shop with Wanda, Sam, and Natasha, it isn't unusual, the four of you have at least one day a week to catch up on life events, something that Natasha implemented years ago, nothing changed minus Steve wasn’t always here and Bucky no longer came for obvious reason. The usual lighthearted banter feels like it belongs to another world, one you’re struggling to reach. Your fingers wrap around the steaming cup in front of you, the warmth doing little to thaw the chill in your chest.
Two years. That’s how long you managed to avoid him and seeing him for two minutes was enough to break down all the walls you worked hard to build.
Two years of carefully declining invitations where you knew Bucky would be, of sharing group messages where his name lingered in the background like a ghost. Two years of never asking Natasha or Wanda about him and dodging Steve’s carefully neutral mentions of “Buck.”
And now, here you are, breaking the unspoken rule you set for yourself.
You sit at the café table with your untouched coffee cooling between your hands. The three of them are laughing about something—some story Sam’s telling about Steve being too stubborn to ask for directions—but the sound feels distant.
When the words finally tumble out of you, they cut through the conversation like a blade.
“I ran into Bucky last night.”
The laughter stops.
Natasha freezes, her coffee cup paused halfway to her lips, her sharp green eyes snapping to yours. Wanda’s brows knit together in quiet concern, her hand resting on her mug as if she’s bracing herself. Sam, seated across from you, leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. His expression hardens instantly, his jaw ticking.
You feel terrible the moment his name leaves your mouth. Horrible. Stupid. Guilty. It feels wrong bringing him up to them, like tearing open an old wound you’d all worked so hard to ignore. They knew everything—every tear you shed, every question you asked when you couldn’t figure out why things fell apart. They were there for every breakdown, every “why am i not enough?” They bore witness to the wreckage, the raw, ugly truth of what Bucky had done to you.
And now, here you were, dragging his name into the one space he hadn’t tainted.
You knew they still saw him. They had to. Bucky was part of the group, no matter how much you wished he wasn’t. But they did a damn good job keeping you out of it. For two years, they’d honored the unspoken rule: No Bucky around you. No you around Bucky. It was messy, but it worked. Sam even went nearly a year without seeing him, a Herculean effort considering how tight Bucky and Steve were, and how close Sam and Steve had gotten.
You’d never forget the night Sam nearly lost it—when he almost went after Bucky, fists clenched, ready to beat some sense into him or shit out of him. Sam had always been protective of you, but that night, his anger burned hotter than yours. It wasn’t until that moment—seeing Sam about to cross a line he couldn’t uncross—that you realized what you’d become, how much of your pain was spilling onto the people who loved you.
The group dynamic had never been the same after you and Bucky started… whatever that was.
It had been perfect before. Bucky and Steve had been inseparable since they were kids. You and Sam were childhood best friends until his family moved away, forcing you to find new ones. You met Wanda not long after, then Natasha a few years later, and things clicked. Natasha introduced you to Steve, who introduced you to Bucky. When Sam came back into your life during college, it felt like fate—like all the pieces of the puzzle had finally snapped into place.
But you and Bucky had thrown everything off balance.
When it was good, the group had learned to tiptoe around it, even accept it. But when it was bad—when it was tears and shouting and silence—they all felt the ripple effects. And sides were taken.m, drawing a jagged line between the group.
And now here you were, breaking the unspoken truce.
For a moment, no one says anything. The silence is thick and suffocating, pressing down on your chest like a hand. You can feel Natasha’s stare, sharp and assessing, and Wanda’s soft, silent empathy. But it’s Sam who breaks the tension, like always, his voice clipped and tight.
“What do you mean you ran into him?”
You glance down at your coffee, your fingers tightening around the mug to steady yourself. The words sit heavy on your tongue, reluctant to leave. “He was at Maria’s engagement party,” you say quietly, your voice barely cutting through the tense silence. “I didn’t know he’d be there, he wasn’t supposed to be.”
“Steve,” Natasha mutters under her breath, setting her cup down with a sharp clink that makes you flinch. Her green eyes narrow, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Of course he invited him.”
“No, he didn’t,” you say quickly, shaking your head. “Chad works with Bucky.”
“Who the hell is Chad?” Sam asks, his voice dripping with skepticism as he leans back in his chair.
“Maria’s fiancé,” Natasha replies, her tone clipped, like it’s obvious. She barely spares him a glance, her fingers drumming against the table.
“And who’s Maria?” Sam fires back, his brow furrowing as his annoyance builds.
“Oh my god, Sam, it doesn’t matter!” Natasha snaps, rolling her eyes with exasperation.
Wanda lets out a quiet sigh, leaning forward slightly, her gentle presence cutting through the rising tension. “Are you okay?” she asks softly, her voice calm but steady. Her dark eyes search yours, filled with concern. “What happened?”
You swallow hard, your throat dry as your gaze drops to the coffee again. “We… talked,” you admit, your voice tight, like it hurts to say the words out loud.
“Talked?” Sam repeats, his tone sharper now, disbelief flickering across his face. He leans forward, crossing his arms on the table. “What the hell could you possibly have to talk about after two years?”
“Sam,” Wanda says gently, her hand reaching out to rest on his arm. There’s a warning in her tone, but her touch is grounding, calming.
Sam exhales sharply, glancing at Wanda before turning back to you, his jaw clenching. “I just don’t get it,” he mutters.
You stay quiet, the knot in your stomach tightening. The weight of their stares feels unbearable, like you’re under a microscope. The silence stretches between you, and for a brief moment, you wish you’d never said anything.
But he doesn’t back down, his gaze locked on you. “No, seriously. After what he put you through, after how long it’s taken you to get to this point—what could he possibly say that’s worth hearing?”
You flinch, the words hitting harder than you expect. “He said none of them meant anything,” you say quietly, not looking up. “The other women. He said they didn’t mean anything to him, that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else while we were…” You trail off, unsure how to finish the sentence.
Natasha’s voice is like ice when she finally speaks. “While you were what?” she asks, her words razor-sharp. “While you were breaking yourself over him? While you were bending over backward to love someone who couldn’t love you back the way you deserved?”
You glance up at her, tears stinging your eyes. “He said he was scared. That he didn’t want to feel whole because then he’d have something to lose.”
“Do you hear yourself right now?” Sam let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Classic Barnes. Always finding a way to make his damage someone else’s problem.”
“Sam,” Wanda says again, but this time, her voice is quieter. She looks at you, her expression filled with the kind of sympathy that only makes the ache in your chest worse. “What did you say?”
“I told him he hurt me anyway,” you admit, your voice trembling. “That all his excuses didn’t matter because it doesn’t erase what he did.”
Natasha leans back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “Good.”
“Then what?” Sam presses, leaning forward, his eyes narrowing as if he’s trying to catch you in a lie. “Please tell me you walked away and didn’t give him anything else.”
You hesitate, your silence stretching too long, betraying you.
Natasha’s sharp green eyes lock on yours, narrowing slightly. Wanda tilts her head, her lips parting like she’s about to ask something, but Sam beats her to it, his voice cutting through the quiet tension.
“Oh, come on,” Sam says, throwing his hands in the air. “Don’t tell me you let him get to you again.”
Your head snaps toward him, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “I didn’t let him get to me,” you snap, your tone sharper than you intended. “I didn’t say anything….”
The admission silences the table, but the tension only thickens. You can feel their stares boring into you, each one carrying a different weight—Sam’s frustration, Wanda’s concern, Natasha’s quiet scrutiny.
“But…” you start, your voice faltering.
“Always a but,” Sam groans, rubbing a hand down his face.
You look away, weary and defeated, the words catching in your throat before you finally manage to force them out. “He said he loves me.”
The words land like a grenade.
Sam’s jaw tightens, his eyes widening slightly before narrowing again in disbelief. Natasha’s lips press into a thin line, her fingers drumming against the table. Wanda’s brows knit together, the soft concern on her face twisting into something closer to pity.
No one speaks. The weight of the admission hangs in the air, heavy and suffocating.
Finally, Natasha breaks the silence, her voice low and measured. “And what did you say to that?”
You exhale sharply, your gaze fixed on the empty glass in front of you. “Nothing,” you say quietly. “I didn’t say anything. I just… left.”
“Good,” Natasha says firmly, though her tone is softer now, less cutting. “That’s what you should’ve done.”
Wanda leans forward slightly, her eyes searching yours. “How do you feel about it, though?” she asks gently. “About him saying that?”
You shake your head, your hands clenching into fists in your lap. “I don’t know,” you admit, your voice trembling. “I don’t know how I feel. Part of me wanted to believe him, but the other part…” You trail off, your throat tightening.
“The other part knows it’s bullshit,” Sam finishes for you, his voice hard. “He’s said crap like this before, hasn’t he? Made you feel like you’re the only person in the world, just to rip it all away the next second?”
“Sam,” Wanda says softly, placing a calming hand on his arm.
“No,” he says, shaking her off. “She needs to hear this. You can’t let him keep pulling you back in, Y/n. He’s only saying it because he knows you’re moving on, and he doesn’t want to lose that grip he has on you.”
“That’s not fair,” you say, your voice rising slightly as you turn to him. “You don’t know what he meant. You don’t know how he said it, he’s never said the word love to me before Sam…”
“Oh, I know exactly how he said it,” Sam fires back, his tone dripping with frustration. “Because it’s Bucky, and he’s been playing this game for years! Doesn’t matter, why the hell would he drop the L word after two years!”
“Enough,” Natasha cuts in, her tone icy and firm. Her eyes flick to Sam before landing on you, her gaze softening slightly. “What matters isn’t what he said. It’s how you feel about it. So stop deflecting and just be honest—what did it mean to you?”
You look down, your chest tightening as their words swirl around you. The truth is, you don’t know how to answer that question. Hearing him say those words—I love you—had shaken you to your core. It wasn’t what you expected, and it wasn’t what you wanted to hear, not like this. But that didn’t stop the part of you, buried deep down, that ached to believe him.
“I don’t know,” you say finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what it meant. All I know is… it hurt.”
Wanda leans back, exhaling softly as she folds her hands in her lap. “That’s valid,” she says gently. “It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to not have an answer right now.”
“But it’s not okay to let him back in just because he said the right thing,” Natasha adds, her voice firm but not unkind. “Words are easy, Y/n. Actions are what matter.”
Sam sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m coming off too harsh. I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt again. Not by him.”
You nod, your throat tightening as you look around the table. These were your people, the ones who’d seen you at your lowest and never walked away. They were only trying to protect you, but the weight of their concern felt suffocating.
“I get it,” you say quietly. “I do. And I’m not planning to just… run back to him. I’m not stupid.”
“No one’s saying you’re stupid,” Wanda says quickly, her voice soothing.
You glance at her, offering a small, tired smile. “It just… it threw me, okay? I wasn’t expecting him to say that, he wasn’t supposed to be there, that’s all.”
Natasha sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I swear, Steve and his damn loyalty to Bucky…”
“Don’t blame Steve,” Wanda says gently, glancing between you and Natasha. “This isn’t about him.” She turns to you, her voice soft. “This is about what you want. What you’re going to do next.”
You shake your head, your chest tightening. “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
Sam exhales sharply, his frustration simmering just below the surface. “You want my advice?” he says, his tone blunt. “Do nothing. Block his number, delete his name, and move the hell on. Because if you don’t, he’s going to drag you right back into the same cycle.”
Wanda gives him a look but doesn’t contradict him. Natasha remains silent, her jaw tight as she studies you.
“Whatever you decide,” Natasha says finally, her voice steady but laced with warning, “just remember what it took to get to this point. Two years, no Bucky, and you’ve been good. Don’t throw it all away unless you’re damn sure he’s worth it.”
The words linger in the air long after they leave her mouth, sinking into your chest like stones.
You nod slowly, even though your thoughts are a chaotic mess. “Yeah,” you murmur. “I’ll think about it.”
But as you leave the café later, the cool breeze brushing against your skin, you can’t help but feel like it’s not really a choice at all. Not when his words are still echoing in your mind.
“I’ll earn it. Every single day, I’ll earn it.”
It’s late when you get home, the city quiet outside your window. You drop your bag on the counter and collapse onto the couch, the weight of the day pressing down on you like a physical force.
Bucky’s words won’t leave your mind.
“None of them meant anything.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I love you.”
You lean back, closing your eyes, but the memories come flooding in: Bucky with his easy charm, the way he used to pull you in so effortlessly, the way he made you feel like the only person in the world—until he didn’t.
You grab your phone off the coffee table and open your messages. His name is still there, right at the top from the missed calls and texts you haven’t answered.
There’s another message waiting for you now.
“I meant what I said. Please just let me explain.”
Your finger hovers over the notification, your heart pounding. You could call him back right now. Hear his voice, let him pull you back in like he always does.
But then Sam’s voice cuts through the fog in your head. “Block his number, delete his name, and move the hell on.”
You toss the phone onto the couch beside you, burying your face in your hands. You hate how torn you feel, how deeply he’s gotten under your skin even after all this time.
Your thoughts race, bouncing between your friends’ words and the way Bucky looked at you last night—like he was sorry, like he was breaking apart in front of you.
He’s always sorry after the fact, you think bitterly. But what about before?
You stand abruptly, pacing the small space of your living room as if movement will make the war in your head easier to handle.
On one hand, you’ve spent two years rebuilding yourself, proving you can live without him, even if it hurt like hell. On the other hand, the love you had for him—the love you still feel, no matter how hard you try to bury it—won’t let you forget how much you wanted him to choose you.
Your phone buzzes again. You don’t need to look at it to know it’s him.
You let it buzz this time, the sound grating against the quiet. You walk to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of water, and try to focus on the simple task of breathing.
But the questions won’t stop coming.
What if he’s really changed?
What if he means it this time?
What if I say no, and this time, it really could’ve been different?
Your eyes fall to the notes app on your phone, and before you can stop yourself, you open it. The unsent letter you wrote months ago still stares back at you, every word a wound you thought had healed.
“I love you, I’m sorry.”
“I hate what loving you does to me.”
“I wish I could stop waiting for you.”
You stare at the words for what feels like forever, your chest tightening. This is the part of him you know, the part of you he’s left behind time and time again.
But then you hear his voice in your head again, softer this time. “I didn’t want anyone else. Not like that. Not the way I wanted you.”
You slam your phone down on the counter, frustration bubbling up in your chest. It feels impossible—choosing between the life you’ve built without him and the possibility of something better with him.
Finally, you grab your coat and head for the door. The walls of your apartment feel too small, and you need space to think.
As you step outside into the cool night air, you glance at the lit-up city skyline and whisper to yourself, “What the hell am I supposed to do?”
---
The next day, you text Bucky. Just one line, short and to the point: “We need to talk. Can you meet me at the park in 20?”
Your phone buzzes almost immediately with his reply: “I’ll be there.”
You don’t let yourself think too hard about it—what you’ll say, how you’ll say it, or what it will mean. If you overthink, you know you’ll spiral. Instead, you grab your coat, slipping it on as you head out the door.
By the time you arrive at the park, the cold air has crept into your fingertips, and you shove your hands deep into your pockets. The bench you choose is damp from the morning dew, but you sit anyway, bracing yourself against the bite of the cool metal.
You focus on the world around you to keep your thoughts from drowning you. The faint rustling of leaves. The distant sound of children laughing. The hum of traffic just beyond the trees. It all blends into a calming rhythm, but your hands still won’t stop shaking.
When Bucky finally shows up, you feel him before you see him.
That familiar leather jacket, the way his hands are stuffed into his pockets as he walks toward you with hesitant steps. He stops a few feet away, lingering like he’s waiting for you to say something, to invite him closer.
“Hey,” he says softly, his voice careful, measured.
You nod, gesturing for him to sit. He does, keeping a respectful distance between you, but it feels like miles.You hate that you have a need, a want to have him close.
For a long moment, neither of you speaks. The quiet feels fragile, as if one wrong word could send the whole thing crumbling. Finally, you take a deep breath, the cool air stinging your lungs as you turn to face him.
“I can’t do this, Bucky,” you say, your voice calm despite the storm swirling inside you. “Whatever this is between us, it doesn’t work. It never did.”
He blinks, the words visibly hitting him, but he doesn’t react right away. His brows furrow, and he shifts to face you fully, his expression a mixture of confusion and frustration. “That’s not fair,” he says, his voice low. “You can’t say it never worked. There were good moments—”
“There were,” you interrupt, your voice sharper now as you meet his gaze head-on. “But they weren’t enough. And you know it.”
He exhales sharply, leaning back on the bench. His hands rub over his thighs as if trying to ground himself. “So, what? That’s it? You’re done?”
You shake your head, the weight of it all pressing on your chest. “No, I’m not done,” you say softly. “But things need to change.”
He watches you, his expression guarded but waiting.
“I realized something last night,” you continue, your voice trembling but steady. “You and I? We were never really friends, Bucky. We jumped into… whatever that was—passion, chaos, love, I don’t even know. But we didn’t build a foundation. And I think that’s why it was so easy for you to hurt me. Because you didn’t really see me. Not like a friend does, not like a friend should.”
His jaw tightens, and his brows knit together as he looks at you, struggling to process your words. “What are you talking about?” he asks finally, his voice quiet but laced with disbelief. “We were always friends. You were always my friend.”
You let out a quiet, humorless laugh, shaking your head. “No, Bucky, we weren’t. Friends don’t treat each other the way you did. They don’t take without giving back. They don’t leave when things get hard. We skipped right past being friends and dove headfirst into something that was doomed from the start.”
He flinches slightly at your words, his jaw clenching as he looks down at the ground. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. “I never wanted to, please know that..”
“I believe you,” you say softly, your fingers tightening around the edge of your coat. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you did. And I let you, because I thought love was enough to fix everything. But it wasn’t.”
The silence that follows feels heavier than before, filled with things neither of you knows how to say.
His hands grip the edge of the bench like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded, and when he finally speaks, his voice is hoarse. “So, what do you want from me now? What do I need to do? Because I can’t go any longer without you in my life.”
You swallow hard, your voice trembling as you respond. “I want to try being friends. Real friends. No more mixed signals, no more blurred lines. Just you and me, figuring out if we even know how to be in each other’s lives without falling apart.”
He turns to you, his blue eyes searching yours for something—answers, reassurance, maybe even forgiveness. “You really think we can do that?”
“I don’t know,” you admit, the honesty cutting through you like glass. “But I think it’s the only way we have a shot at something real. If we don’t start over, this will just keep happening.”
He nods slowly, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly as he exhales, his breath visible in the cold air. “Okay,” he says finally, his voice steady. “Friends.”
You raise a brow, watching him carefully. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes,” he says, more firmly this time. His gaze doesn’t waver. “If that’s what you need, I’ll do it. Friends.”
The corner of your mouth lifts into a small, hesitant smile. “Okay.”
----
The friendship started quietly, almost tentatively.
At first, you kept your distance, careful and wary. It was easier that way. Safer. You told yourself it wasn’t about punishing him, it was about self-preservation. You weren’t ready to let him back in not fully, not even halfway, not after the chaos he’d left behind.
So you kept things light, meeting only at group gatherings or for the occasional coffee when he reached out. You’d sit across from him, smiling politely while waiting for the cracks to show. You braced yourself for the moment he’d remind you why you were so afraid of letting him close again. You were skeptical to say the least.
You expected the old Bucky to resurface—the one who smiled too easily at strangers and let his charm mask the ways he didn’t show up when it mattered. But as the weeks turned into months, something unexpected happened:
Bucky kept showing up.
Every. Single. Time.
It started with the way he carried himself. Before, being with him felt like bracing for a storm, like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’d been restless, distracted, always somewhere else in his mind. Now, though, he was steady. Grounded.
It was subtle—the way he lingered a little longer during conversations, the way his eyes didn’t dart around the room looking for an escape when things got serious. Instead of deflecting with a joke or brushing off questions about himself, he actually stayed. He listened.
You saw it in the small, quiet ways he started to show up for you.
“Your usual?” he asked one afternoon, sliding a coffee across the table toward you as you sat down.
You blinked, surprised. “You didn’t have to do that.”
He shrugged, his lips curving into a small smile. “You like the extra cinnamon, right?”
It wasn’t the coffee that caught you off guard—it was the way he said it, like it was something he’d filed away in his mind, something important to him.
“Thanks,” you said softly, wrapping your hands around the cup.
For a while, you just sat there, the silence stretching between you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though—not the way it used to be. He didn’t fidget or rush to fill the quiet. He just was.
When you finally spoke, your voice was quieter than you expected. “You’ve been… different lately.”
He tilted his head, studying you with those piercing blue eyes. “Different how?”
You hesitated, unsure how to say it without sounding accusatory. “I don’t know. Calmer. Present.”
His smile faded slightly, his gaze dropping to his coffee. “I’ve been working on that,” he admitted.
It wasn’t a dramatic declaration, but it stayed with you long after the conversation ended.
The little things, those were what really starting to get to you.
It was the way he remembered details you’d barely mentioned, like your favorite bagel order, the book you’d been meaning to read, the way you liked your eggs in the morning.
You had casually mentioned how the café’s muffins looked good but were overpriced. You didn’t think much of it until the next time you met him, and he slid a muffin across the table without a word.
“What’s this?” you asked, raising a brow.
He shrugged, his lips twitching into a small smile. “Thought you deserved to try the overpriced muffin.”
You stared at him, unsure how to respond. Before, he’d been inattentive, distracted, always somewhere else in his mind. But now? Now he paid attention. To everything.
“Thank you Buck,” you said softly, the warmth in your chest catching you off guard.
His mouth slightly parted, his cheeks lightly blushed with hearing you call him Buck “It’s just a muffin,” he said lightly trying to act cool, taking a sip of his coffee. But the way he avoided your eyes told you it meant more than that.
Of course, you still waited for him to slip. It was hard not to. You’d been burned before, and trust wasn’t something you could rebuild overnight.
At group gatherings, you watched him from the corner of your eye, waiting for him to flirt with someone new, to slip back into his old, careless charm.
But he never did. Not yet anyway.
At Wanda’s birthday party, you saw a woman lean in too close, her hand brushing his arm. The pang of jealousy hit you instantly, sharp and familiar. You tried not to look, but your eyes betrayed you, darting toward him as the moment unfolded.
And then you saw it.
Bucky gently stepped back, shaking his head with a polite smile before walking away.
When he sat down beside you later, balancing a beer on his knee, you couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “You’re not interested?”
He raised a brow, his expression confused. “In what?”
“In her,” you said, nodding toward the woman. “She’s beautiful.”
He followed your gaze before turning back to you, his tone soft and matter-of-fact. “No.”
When you didn’t respond, he studied your face for a moment before adding, “That’s not what I’m here for. That’s not who I want.”
His words hung in the air, their weight pressing against your chest. You looked away, unsure how to respond, but the warmth spreading through you was undeniable.
It was in moments like these that you saw the difference in him, the way he wasn’t just trying to be better, he was. It wasn’t loud or dramatic. It was steady, patient, and consistent.
And slowly, so slowly you barely noticed it happening, he started to feel safe again. Like the way had once made you feel when you only had glimpses of him like this but now it was everywhere.
A few weeks later, you found yourself sitting on a park bench with Steve, waiting for Natasha to join the two of you. The sun dipped low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the trees as you watched the shadows stretch across the grass.
“It’s nice to finally hang out with everyone again,” Steve said, his voice easy and warm. “To hang out with you again..”
You raised a brow, giving him a skeptical look. “You mean without the constant awkwardness of me avoiding Bucky?”
Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “Something like that. But honestly, it’s been good. For all of us. Especially for him and I missed you, y’know?”
You hesitated, your chest tightening slightly. “What do you mean?”
Steve leaned back, resting his arms along the bench as he stared out at the park. “He’s more… himself. It’s like I’ve got my best friend back.”
His words caught you off guard. “Really?”
Steve nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Yeah. He’s been putting in the work, you know? Seeing a therapist, digging through all the stuff he’s been carrying for years. I think he’s finally starting to let it go.”
The words stopped you in your tracks. “He’s seeing a therapist?”
“Has been for over a year,” Steve said with a small smile. “I think you’re part of the reason, honestly.”
You blinked, your stomach twisting. “Why would I be the reason?”
“Because losing you made him realize he had to change, that the emotional and self destructive path he was going down wasn’t a good idea ” Steve said simply. “And he talked about how he didn’t feel right months before you decided to keep him out of your life but he never changed anything but after Sam almost beat the shit out of him, and he realized you were actually done with him…he didn’t just say it—he did it.”
You looked down at the ground, your fingers fidgeting with the edge of your coat. Bucky going to therapy? The man who once couldn’t even admit when he was wrong? It didn’t feel real.
“He’s really putting in the work?” you asked softly, still not quite able to believe it.
Steve nodded again. “It’s been good for him. Really good. He’s more present now, more grounded. It’s nice to see.”
You fell silent, your thoughts swirling as Steve’s words sank in. “For what it's worth, I missed you to Steve.”
--------
The friendship was delicate, like glass balanced on the edge of a table. Every step you took felt measured, calculated, careful not to tip it too far. Bucky was trying—you could see that. He was showing up, being present, doing all the things you’d always wanted him to do.
But trust wasn’t something that came back just because someone tried. And that was the problem.
It had been months of careful rebuilding, of letting him inch closer without letting him in entirely. You told yourself you were protecting yourself, guarding the parts of you he’d once broken. But the truth was, no matter how much progress you made, the cracks were still there, and some days it felt like they were growing.
It started small, the fights.
You were at his apartment, your first time back there in years. He’d invited you over for dinner, just you it was nothing fancy, just pasta and wine, and you’d agreed because things had been good lately.
Easy.
But something about being back in that space, sitting on the same couch where so much had gone wrong, made you uneasy. The walls seemed to hum with the echoes of old arguments, of broken promises and words you wished you could take back.
“You’re quiet tonight,” Bucky said, breaking the silence as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. He was watching you carefully, his brows furrowed in that way he always did when he was trying to figure you out.
“I’m fine,” you said quickly, too quickly, your fingers toying with the edge of your wine glass.
He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You always say that when you’re not.”
“I said I’m fine, Bucky,” you snapped, sharper than you intended.
The tension in the room shifted immediately. His jaw tightened, but he didn’t look away. “Okay,” he said slowly. “But if something’s bothering you, you can tell me. That’s what this is about, right? Our friendship?”
You hated the way his words made your chest tighten, hated how calm and reasonable he sounded. You felt the crack inside you widen, your unease bubbling to the surface in a way you couldn’t control.
“Why are you doing this?” you asked suddenly, your voice trembling as you looked at him.
His brows knitted together in confusion. “Doing what?”
“This,” you said, gesturing vaguely around the room. “Cooking dinner, asking me how I feel, trying to—” You broke off, your throat tightening. “Why are you trying so hard?”
The frustration on his face was immediate, his calm demeanor finally breaking. “Because I want to, I told you I would..” he said, his voice rising slightly. “Because I’m trying to show you that I’m different, that I’m not going to screw this up again. Isn’t that what you want?”
“I don’t know!” The words came out louder than you intended, your hands trembling as you set the wine glass down. “I don’t know, Bucky. I don’t know what I want.”
He stared at you, his chest heaving as he tried to process your words. “I don’t understand,” he said finally, his voice quieter now. “I thought we were doing okay. I thought this was working.”
“It is!” you said, the words tumbling out of you too fast. “It is, but… I don’t know. There’s this feeling, this—this gut feeling that something’s going to go wrong, and I can’t ignore it. I can’t pretend it’s not there.”
He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration bleeding into every movement. “What am I doing wrong?” he asked, his voice breaking slightly. “Tell me, because I don’t know. I’m trying so damn hard, and I don’t know how to fix this if I don’t even know what’s broken.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong!” you yelled, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions.
The room fell silent, the only sound the faint hum of the fridge and the pounding of your heart in your ears.
He looked at you, his expression somewhere between heartbroken and exhausted. “Then what is it?” he asked softly.
“I don’t know,” you whispered, your arms wrapping around yourself as if it could stop the ache spreading through your chest. “I don’t know what it is, Bucky. It’s just… there. This feeling that no matter how hard you try, I’m going to get hurt again, that you’re going to hurt me, that I'm going to see you with another girl…and I don’t think I could handle that again...”
His shoulders slumped, and for a moment, you thought he might give up entirely. But then he took a step closer, his voice trembling with frustration and something deeper, something raw.
“I don’t know what else I can do to prove to you that I’m not that guy anymore,” he said, his hands trembling at his sides. “I’ve spent the last two years trying to figure out how to be better, how to be the kind of person who deserves to have you in my life. And now you’re here, and I’m trying—I’m trying so damn hard—but it feels like nothing I do is enough.”
You felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes, your heart breaking at the raw honesty in his voice.
“It’s not about you not being enough,” you said quietly, your voice shaking. “It’s about me not being ready to believe it.”
His face fell, his shoulders sagging under the weight of your words. “So, what am I supposed to do?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just wait? Keep showing up and hope one day you’ll believe me?”
You didn’t have an answer for him. You didn’t know how to explain that it wasn’t his actions, but the scars he’d left behind that wouldn’t let you trust him completely.
“I don’t know,” you said softly, the words heavy with defeat.
For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, staring at you like he was trying to memorize every detail of your face. Finally, he nodded, the movement slow and resigned.
“Okay,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I’ll wait. I’ll keep showing up. But you have to meet me halfway, okay? Because I can’t keep fighting for something if you’re not even sure you want it and if you don’t that's okay too but please tell me.”
------
The restaurant was bustling when you arrived, laughter and clinking glasses filling the air. The table was already crowded with plates of appetizers and half-finished bottles of wine. Natasha spotted you first, waving you over with a bright smile.
“Finally,” she said as you slid into the chair beside Bucky. “We were starting to think you got lost.”
“Or bailed,” Sam added, smirking as he poured himself another glass of wine. “Not that I’d blame you, Steve’s been going on about his workout routine for the past ten minutes. We’re all suffering.”
Steve, seated across from Natasha, rolled his eyes. “I mentioned the gym once, Sam.”
Natasha smirked, resting her chin in her hand as she looked at Steve. “You do talk about it a lot, Rogers.”
“I don’t talk about it that much,” Steve said defensively, glancing around the table for support.
“You literally just told Chad last week that you PR’d on your deadlift,” Wanda chimed in, raising her glass of wine. “And then you made him guess how much it was.”
“That was relevant to the conversation!” Steve protested, his cheeks flushing.
“Oh my god,” Natasha groaned dramatically, leaning over to kiss Steve’s cheek. “It’s okay, I like your gym stories.”
“Gross,” Sam groaned loudly, tossing a piece of bread onto his plate. “Seriously, get a room.”
“Maybe we will,” Natasha shot back, smirking as she leaned closer to Steve.
“Guys, please,” Sam groaned again, turning to Wanda for backup. “Can’t you two keep your domestic bliss to yourselves for one dinner?”
“Oh, leave them alone,” Wanda said with a laugh, shaking her head. “You’re just mad because you can’t deadlift half as much as Steve.”
“Wow,” Sam said, feigning offense. “You know what, Wanda? You’ve officially lost your spot as my favorite.”
Wanda smirked. “I was never your favorite.”
“True,” Sam admitted. “But I was trying to be polite.”
“Who’s your favourite then?” Natasha asked, raising her eyebrow.
“Isn't it obvious?” Bucky’s voice cut through the conversation “It’s y/n, he almost beat the shit outta me for her.” He laughed
Sam raised his glass “And don’t you forget it!”
The group burst into laughter, and while you tried to join in, it felt hollow. The noise pressed in around you, too loud and overwhelming after the day you’d had.
Beside you, Bucky shifted slightly, leaning closer. “You okay?” he asked softly, his voice low enough that no one else could hear.
“I’m fine,” you muttered, not looking at him.
“Y/n…” he started, his voice gentle but concerned.
“Bucky, don’t,” you said quickly, your tone sharper than you intended. His jaw tightened, and though he didn’t push, you could feel his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before he leaned back in his chair.
As the plates of food arrived, the jokes and banter only grew louder. Natasha and Wanda leaned over to share bites of each other’s pasta, while Sam and Steve got into a debate about which of them would survive longer in a zombie apocalypse.
“It’s me, obviously,” Sam said, gesturing with his fork. “I’ve got street smarts. Steve’s out here still trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, like, ‘Maybe the zombie just needs a hug.’”
“First of all, that’s not true,” Steve shot back, laughing. “And second, I’m stronger than you. I’d take them down before they even got close.”
“The gym thing again! And strength isn’t gonna save you when they’re sneaking up on you,” Sam countered. “You’d be too busy lecturing them about morality or something.”
Natasha snorted, twirling her pasta onto her fork. “He’s not wrong.”
Steve looked to her, feigning betrayal. “You’re siding with him?”
“Of course I am,” Natasha said, smirking. “Sam’s got a point. You’d probably try to negotiate with the zombies.”
“I’m starting to feel attacked,” Steve muttered, but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.
“Oh, poor baby,” Natasha teased, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek again. “We still love you.”
“Seriously, get a room,” Sam said again, throwing a napkin at them.
“Could we use yours? ” Natasha asked innocently, stealing a bite of Steve’s food.
“God, I hate you both,” Sam grumbled, but the grin on his face said otherwise.
Through it all, Bucky stayed quiet, occasionally chiming in with a comment or a chuckle, but his attention kept drifting back to you. Every so often, he’d glance your way, his brow furrowing slightly when he noticed the way you kept fidgeting with the edge of your napkin or how your smile never quite reached your eyes.
Midway through the meal, as the group debated whether to order dessert or move on to the bar, Bucky leaned in again, his voice barely above a whisper. “Hey,” he said, his tone gentle but firm. “I know a bad day when I see one. If you need to get out of here, just let me know. I’ll go with you.”
His words caught you off guard, and when you turned to look at him, his blue eyes were steady and calm, filled with an understanding that made your chest tighten.
For a moment, you couldn’t find the words, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe. Finally, you nodded, your voice barely audible. “Thank you… and I’m, uh, sorry for snapping earlier.”
His lips twitched into a small smile as he shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize to me,” he said softly.
Beneath the table, his hand brushed yours, and before you could pull away, he wrapped his fingers gently around yours, his thumb moving in slow, comforting circles. The gesture was so quiet, so him, that it almost brought tears to your eyes.
Before either of you could say anything, Sam’s loud laugh broke the moment.
“To the bar!” Sam declared, raising his glass triumphantly.
Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’re gonna be on your ass after two drinks.”
“Don’t underestimate me, Romanoff,” Sam shot back with a grin.
When the group moved to leave for the bar, you declined, mumbling something about being tired. Bucky didn’t hesitate, standing up beside you. “I’ll walk you home,” he said simply.
No one questioned it. Natasha raised a brow but didn’t comment, and Steve gave you a knowing look before following the others out the door.
The night air was cool, the breeze brushing against your skin as you walked side by side. Bucky didn’t try to fill the silence, and for that, you were grateful. His presence was steady, grounding, and for the first time all day, you felt like you could breathe.
But as the quiet stretched on, the weight of the day caught up with you. Your breath hitched, your vision blurring as tears began to well in your eyes. You tried to blink them away, but the lump in your throat only grew.
The moment the first tear slipped down your cheek, you stopped abruptly, turning away from him as you furiously wiped at your face. “God, I’m sorry,” you muttered, your voice shaking. “I’m a mess.”
“Hey,” Bucky said softly, stepping closer. His voice was gentle but steady, the kind of tone that made it impossible not to feel like you could fall apart and still be safe.
You shook your head, your back still to him. “I hate this. I hate crying like this. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he said, his voice low but firm. “Not to me. Not for this.”
You felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder, hesitant but grounding. That simple touch broke the last bit of resolve you had left. A shaky breath escaped you, and the tears came faster, slipping down your cheeks before you could stop them.
You didn’t turn around, but your voice cracked as you tried to explain, to justify your unraveling. “Work was a nightmare. My boss—he kept piling things on me, and then there was this meeting where nothing I said was taken seriously. And then—” Your voice hitched as you gestured helplessly. “And then the subway was late, and I was late, and I just—”
Your words dissolved into a sob as you clenched your fists, hating how small and exposed you felt.
“It’s okay,” Bucky said again, stepping closer. “Come here.”
This time, he didn’t wait for permission. He gently turned you toward him, his hands settling on your arms. You resisted for a moment, your pride warring with the need to let someone see you like this. But the warmth of his touch, the steadiness in his eyes, broke through your defenses.
Before you knew it, you were in his arms.
Bucky pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you with a care that made your chest ache. His hand moved slowly up and down your back, soothing in its consistency.
“You’re okay,” he murmured against your hair. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
The words hit something deep inside you, and the dam broke completely. You clung to him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his jacket as sobs wracked your chest. It wasn’t just the stress of the day pouring out of you—it was everything. The years of pent-up frustration, the heartbreak, the lingering hurt that you’d buried so deep it had started to feel like a part of you.
“I’m so tired, Bucky,” you choked out, your voice muffled against his chest. “I feel like I’m failing at everything. I’m trying so hard, and it’s just—” Your words crumbled into another sob.
His arms tightened around you, his chin resting lightly on the top of your head. “You’re not failing,” he said softly, his voice steady and sure. “You’re doing more than anyone else sees, I know you are. You’re just carrying too much, and it’s okay to let some of it out.”
You pulled back slightly, wiping at your face, though the tears didn’t stop. “I hate crying,” you muttered, your voice thick with emotion. “It feels so stupid, like I’m making a big deal out of nothing.”
“Stop that,” he said firmly, his hands moving to your shoulders. His thumbs brushed over the fabric of your coat, grounding you as he leaned down slightly to catch your eyes. “It’s not nothing, Y/n. You’ve been holding this in all day—hell, probably longer. You’re allowed to cry, and you’re allowed to feel like this. It doesn’t make you weak.”
The sincerity in his voice made you falter, your gaze dropping as your throat tightened all over again.
“I just… I don’t know how to make it stop,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “It feels like it never ends.”
Bucky’s hands shifted, one moving to brush a tear from your cheek while the other cupped your jaw, holding you steady. “It’s not always gonna feel like this,” he said quietly, his blue eyes searching yours. “I promise you. It won’t. Only up from here right?”
The softness in his voice, the quiet conviction, sent a shiver through you. The spark between you was undeniable, and for a moment, you felt the world slow. The sounds of the city faded into the background, leaving just the two of you in the quiet, intimate bubble of this moment.
It scared you.
You stepped back abruptly, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to create some distance. “I’m sorry,” you muttered, your voice cracking. “I didn’t mean to—”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Bucky said firmly, shaking his head. He took a step back, giving you space but keeping his gaze steady on you. “You’re allowed to have bad days, Y/n. You’re allowed to fall apart and I’ll always be here to catch you.”
You nodded, wiping at your face again as you tried to steady your breathing. “Thank you,” you said softly.
By the time you reached your apartment, the tears had stopped, though your eyes were still puffy and your cheeks were flushed. Bucky walked beside you the entire way, his presence quiet but solid, like an anchor keeping you grounded.
When you reached your door, you hesitated, your hand resting on the handle as you glanced at him. “Do you… want to come in?”
His lips parted slightly, and for a moment, he looked like he might say yes. But then he smiled softly, his eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place.
“I want to,” he admitted, his voice low. “Believe me, I do. But…”
You looked down, your chest tightening. “There’s always a ‘but,’” you muttered bitterly.
“Sweetheart, it’s not like that,” he said quickly, his voice gentle as he stepped closer. “It’s just… we’re not there yet. You’re not there yet. And this time, it has to be right. I can’t—I won’t risk screwing this up again.”
His words hit you harder than you expected, and for a moment, you felt tears threaten to rise again. But you swallowed them back, nodding as you looked down. “I understand. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“Don’t apologize,” he said, cutting you off. His hands reached out, brushing gently against your arms before pulling you into a soft, lingering hug. “It’s okay.”
When he pulled back, he leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead that lingered just long enough to make your breath catch.
“Goodnight, Y/n,” he said softly, stepping back toward the stairs.
---
It was slow—not like before, when everything between you and Bucky had burned too hot and too fast. This time, the way things started to shift felt more like the gentle pull of a tide, subtle but impossible to ignore.
You told yourself it was still just friendship. That’s all it could be, all it should be. But the lines had begun to blur in quiet, unspoken ways.
It was late afternoon, the city basking in the golden light of an early summer evening. The streets were alive with the hum of conversation and the occasional laughter spilling out of cafes. Walking together had become something you did more often, something easy that didn’t require a plan or an excuse.
Today, the two of you strolled aimlessly, weaving through the crowd with no real destination in mind. The heat of the day had given way to a softer warmth, and the light breeze carried the faint scent of street food and blooming flowers.
You were mid-story, animatedly recounting a tale from your childhood, your hands gesturing as you spoke. “So there I was, stuck on top of the fence, and of course, he’s at the bottom laughing at me, not helping—”
You didn’t see the biker coming.
Out of nowhere, the sharp whirr of tires on pavement cut through the air, and a cyclist sped past, too close, the corner of his handlebar brushing the edge of your sleeve.
Before you could fully register what had happened, Bucky stepped in front of you, his arm instinctively reaching out. His hand brushed lightly against your arm as he guided you closer to the safety of the sidewalk.
“Careful,” he said, his voice low, steady, but protective in a way that made something tighten in your chest.
The world seemed to pause for a second. You stopped mid-sentence, the words caught in your throat as your eyes flicked up to meet his. He was close—closer than you’d realized—and the faint lines of worry etched on his face made your pulse stutter.
“Thanks,” you said softly, your voice quieter than you intended.
For a moment, neither of you moved. His hand still lingered near your arm, and his blue eyes searched yours, like he was trying to make sure you were really okay. The way he looked at you sent warmth flooding through your chest, heat rising to your cheeks.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice a little rough as he cleared his throat and glanced away, dropping his hand. “No problem.”
The moment should have passed quickly, and in a way, it did. The two of you resumed walking, and you tried to pick up where you left off in your story, but the words didn’t flow as easily as before.
You could still feel the ghost of his touch on your arm, and the faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air between you, warm and grounding. You sneaked a glance at him out of the corner of your eye. His expression was neutral, maybe even a little guarded, but there was something in the way his shoulders stayed slightly tense, like he wasn’t as unaffected as he was trying to seem.
“Anyway,” you said finally, forcing a lighter tone than you felt, trying to shake off the moment. “I eventually got off the fence—no thanks to my brother—and my mom grounded him for laughing at me instead of helping.”
Bucky huffed out a small laugh, glancing at you with a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Sounds like he deserved it.”
“He did,” you replied, smiling back. But even as the words left your lips, your chest still felt too tight, the air between you charged with something unspoken.
For a moment, silence fell between you again, the sounds of the city around you filling the space. You thought about changing the subject, maybe shifting the focus to something safer, but then Bucky spoke again, his voice quieter this time, almost tentative.
“You never told me that stuff before,” he said, his gaze flickering to yours briefly before dropping to the sidewalk in front of him.
Your breath caught, the simple statement hitting harder than you expected. “You never asked,” you said softly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
He froze mid-step, his expression tightening as though your response had struck a nerve. Slowly, he turned to face you, his brows furrowing. “You’re right,” he murmured, his voice heavy with something you couldn’t quite name. “I didn’t. I should have. I… God, I was such an ass.”
The rawness in his tone, the weight of his words, caught you off guard. You stopped walking, your arms crossing instinctively as you looked at him. “Bucky…” you started, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to handle the way his voice cracked slightly at the end.
“No, let me say this,” he interrupted gently, holding up a hand. His eyes were fixed on you now, their usual guardedness giving way to something more vulnerable, more open. “I didn’t ask because I didn’t take the time to. I didn’t take the time to know all the little things about you, to ask the questions I should’ve asked. And you deserved better than that.”
You stared at him, the lump in your throat making it hard to respond. Part of you wanted to brush it off, to lighten the moment with a joke or deflect the way you always did. But the sincerity in his voice, the regret etched into every word, made that impossible.
“It wasn’t just you,” you said finally, your voice soft but steady. “I didn’t exactly make it easy for you to ask. I didn’t want to… I don’t know, bother you with that kind of stuff.”
His expression twisted, a mixture of frustration and sadness flashing across his face. “You could never bother me,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “I just… I didn’t know how to show you that. And I hate that I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me.”
The weight of his words settled heavily between you, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him. You weren’t used to this version of Bucky—the one who didn’t deflect or shut down, who didn’t hide behind charm or easy jokes.
You looked away, your arms tightening around yourself as you tried to collect your thoughts. “You’re not that guy anymore,” you said quietly. “At least, not the way you were back then.”
When you glanced back at him, his lips twitched into the faintest hint of a sad smile. “I’m trying not to be,” he admitted. “But I’m still scared sometimes. Scared I’ll screw it all up again.”
Your heart ached at the honesty in his voice, at the vulnerability he wasn’t even trying to hide. For so long, you’d wanted him to let you in, to let you see the parts of him he kept locked away. And now that he finally was, you didn’t know what to do with it.
“You’re not screwing it up,” you said softly, your voice trembling just enough for him to notice. “Not this time.”
His shoulders seemed to relax slightly, the tension in his posture easing as he nodded. “That means a lot, coming from you,” he said quietly, his eyes meeting yours again.
You smiled faintly, the warmth in your chest battling with the lingering unease that never quite left you when it came to him. “Well,” you said, trying to lighten the mood just enough to steady yourself, “don’t let it go to your head.”
A small laugh escaped him, and the sound was enough to ease some of the heaviness between you. “I’ll try not to,” he said, his voice lighter now, though the softness in his eyes remained.
As the two of you started walking again, the tension between you began to ease, replaced by a quiet understanding that felt… different.
“So, what happened after your brother got grounded?” Bucky asked, his voice tinged with curiosity.
You glanced at him, surprised. “What?”
“With the fence story,” he clarified, his lips quirking into a small smile. “I feel like there’s more to it.”
A laugh bubbled out of you, unexpected but genuine. “There isn’t, really,” you said, shaking your head. “Unless you count me swearing off fences forever.”
“I don’t know,” he teased, his smile widening. “Sounds like a pretty big life lesson to me.”
The conversation felt easy again, the weight of the past moment lifting as you fell back into a rhythm. But even as you laughed and talked, a part of you held onto the warmth of his earlier words, the quiet vulnerability he’d let slip through.
As you walked, the city swirled around you, but the warmth in your chest lingered, stubborn and insistent. You told yourself it was nothing, just a moment of shared connection, the kind you could have with a friend.
But you couldn’t ignore the way your heart had raced when he’d stepped in front of you or the way his voice had dropped, low and protective, when he’d told you to be careful. And you couldn’t forget the way his eyes had lingered on yours.
---
The house was warm, filled with the smell of pizza and the faint tang of beer. Someone’s carefully curated playlist hummed softly in the background, though it was mostly drowned out by the laughter and loud debates that erupted from the living room.
The night had been a blur of board games, drinks, and playful arguments. Sam was his usual loud self, dramatically accusing everyone of cheating during Monopoly, even when he was. Wanda sat cross-legged on the floor, giggling at his antics while Natasha smugly stacked up her fake money, clearly winning. Steve, meanwhile, tried—and failed—to keep everyone in line, his voice cutting through the chaos.
“Sam, you can’t just take money from the bank whenever you feel like it!” Steve exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the board.
“It’s called resourcefulness, Rogers,” Sam shot back, grinning as he leaned back on his elbows.
“It’s called cheating,” Natasha said dryly, exchanging an amused glance with Wanda.
“Call it what you want,” Sam said, shrugging. “I call it strategic gameplay.”
“You’re impossible,” Steve muttered, rubbing his temples as Wanda giggled beside him.
You sat on the arm of the couch, sipping your drink and watching the scene unfold with a smile. Nights like this felt comfortable, even easy—though the comfort was always tinged with a quiet tension whenever Bucky was nearby.
From across the room, you caught sight of him leaning against the wall, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, a lazy smirk playing on his lips as he watched Steve and Sam go at it. His hair was slightly mussed from earlier, when Natasha had flicked a piece of popcorn at him during a heated round of Codenames. He looked relaxed, but every so often, his gaze would flick to you, lingering just a little too long before shifting away.
As the night began to wind down, people started drifting off. Natasha leaned back against Steve’s chest on the couch, flipping through channels, while Sam loudly declared that he was “retiring undefeated” from board games. Wanda laughed softly, shaking her head as she began stacking up the pieces from Monopoly.
You slipped into the kitchen to rinse out your glass, grateful for a brief moment of quiet. The sink ran softly as you washed the remnants of red wine from the bottom of the cup.
A familiar presence entered the room a moment later, filling the small space without saying a word.
“Need help?” Bucky asked, his voice soft and low.
You glanced over your shoulder, finding him leaning casually against the counter. His sleeves were still rolled up, and his hair was falling into his eyes in a way that made your chest feel uncomfortably tight, your fingers twitching wanting to run your fingers through it.
“No, I’m good,” you said, turning back to the sink. But he didn’t leave.
Instead, he stepped closer, grabbing a towel from the counter. His presence was steady, grounding, but it made the space between you feel smaller, more intimate.
“You sure?” he asked lightly, and you could hear the faint smile in his voice.
You nodded, drying the glass in your hands. “Yeah. It’s just a couple of glasses.”
He stayed anyway, leaning a little closer as you reached for the towel he was holding. Your fingers brushed against his, a fleeting touch that sent a jolt up your arm.
You froze, your breath catching as you quickly pulled your hand back.
“Sorry,” you muttered, your voice too quiet.
“Don’t be,” he said softly, his tone gentle but firm.
When you finally looked up, you found his eyes already on you. The softness there caught you off guard—blue and steady, full of something unspoken. It was the kind of look that made your heart race, your thoughts scrambling for something to say, anything to break the silence.
But you couldn’t. You were frozen in place, caught in the quiet gravity of him.
The air felt heavier, charged, like the world outside the kitchen had faded away. Your fingers gripped the counter behind you for balance as he leaned in slightly, his gaze flickering briefly to your lips before meeting your eyes again.
“Y/n…” His voice was low, almost hesitant, and it made your chest tighten painfully.
You could feel his breath, warm against your skin, and for a moment, you thought he might actually close the distance. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to, weren’t sure if you’d stop him if he did.
But before either of you could move, a booming voice broke through the moment like a crack of thunder.
“Steve, I swear to God, I didn’t cheat!”
“Sam, you literally took money out of the bank when you thought no one was looking!” Steve yelled back, his voice full of exasperation.
“It’s just a game!” Wanda called out, clearly trying—and failing—to mediate.
Bucky exhaled sharply, pulling back slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching into a faint smile. “Monopoly isn’t just a game,” he murmured, his voice light but tinged with humor. “It’s a lifestyle.”
The comment was loud enough to carry into the living room, and Natasha’s sharp laugh cut through the noise. “He’s not wrong,” she called back.
You couldn’t help but laugh softly, though your chest still felt tight. The moment was gone, but the tension lingered, humming faintly in the space between you.
As you moved to step past him, his hand brushed lightly against yours again, a touch so brief it might have been accidental. But when you looked up at him, his eyes were still locked on yours, steady and unreadable.
“Y/n,” he said softly, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, his voice pulling your attention back to him.
But before he could say anything else, Natasha poked her head into the kitchen. “Hey, are you two gonna join us, or are you just gonna hide in here all night?”
The spell broke again, and you stepped back, putting more space between you and Bucky as you smiled faintly. “We’re coming,” you said quickly, brushing past him as you headed toward the door.
He lingered for a moment, watching you go, before following you back into the living room.
-----
The bar was packed, music pounding through the room as laughter and voices swirl together in a cacophony of chaos. You’re sitting at a table with Wanda and Natasha, nursing a drink and laughing at something Natasha said. Across the room, you catch a glimpse of Bucky leaning against the bar, his relaxed smile softening the hard lines of his face.
It’s one of those nights where everything feels easy. Because everything has been, you can't help but smile at the fact that letting Buck in your life was the right decision and you were grateful that you made it for once you felt that you were both close to crossing that line again but this time you were doing it right and your heart swelled up the thought of him being your right person at the right time finally after years of back-and-forth.
Until she shows up.The one from the farmers market, when you swore off Bucky for good.
You don’t notice her at first, too caught up in the conversation at your table. But when Natasha’s gaze flicks over your shoulder, her smile fading slightly, you follow her line of sight.
She’s tall, gorgeous, and entirely too familiar. And the feeling in your guy is dark, anxious and makes you feel sick.
Your stomach tightens as you watch her approach him, her confident smile and the way she places a hand on his arm. You don’t miss the way she leans in, her lips brushing his ear as she says something you can’t hear.
You force yourself to look away, trying to focus on the drink in your hand. But you can’t stop the wave of jealousy that crashes over you, your mind spinning with all the worst-case scenarios.
“Are you okay?” Wanda asks quietly, her voice barely audible over the music.
“I’m fine,” you lie, your throat tight.
You glance back toward the bar, and that’s when you see it.
She leans in, her lips pressing against his in a kiss that feels like a knife twisting in your chest.
For a moment, you can’t move. Your brain struggles to catch up with what you’re seeing, your breath caught somewhere between disbelief and devastation.
You look away immediately, not waiting to see him kiss her back. When you finally decide to look, one last time before you leave.
His eyes are scanning the room, panic taking over his face. And then they land on you.
The hurt in your expression must be clear, because his face falls when he realizes you saw. “Wait!” he yells, rushing toward you.
But you don’t wait. You grab your bag and slip through the crowd, ignoring Wanda and Natasha’s calls after you.
Sam watches as you storm past him, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What’s going on?” he asks, trying to reach out to you, when you ignore him he turns to Natasha.
“Trouble,” she says simply, her eyes following you before flicking back to Bucky, who’s shoving past the crowd and running after you.
Sam starts to follow, “That mother fucker…” but Natasha grabs his arm, stopping him.
“Leave it,” she says firmly.
Sam glares at her, his jaw tightening. “I don’t care if he was fooling all of us, she's my best friend.”
Natasha’s expression softens, but her grip on his arm doesn’t falter. “This time is different, Sam” she says quietly. “I can tell. He’s not going to let her walk away again.”
Sam exhales sharply, but he doesn’t argue. “For her sake, I hope you’re right.”
You’re halfway down the street when you hear him frantically calling after you.
“Wait! Please, just wait!”
You don’t stop, your chest tight with anger and betrayal. But his footsteps are faster than yours, and soon he’s in front of you, blocking your path.
“Move,” you say sharply, your voice trembling.
“No,” he says firmly, his hands up in surrender. “Please, just listen to me.”
You fold your arms over your chest, your whole body trembling with anger and something deeper—something you don’t want to name. Your eyes are burning as you glare at him, hot tears pooling at the edges of your vision. “I saw you, Bucky. I saw it! God, I’m so stupid!”
“I didn’t kiss her back,” he says quickly, his voice frantic, almost panicked. “I didn’t even know she was going to—she just showed up, and before I could stop her, she—”
You shake your head, cutting him off before he can finish. “I don’t care. I don’t care, Bucky. This—” You gesture wildly between the two of you, your voice cracking. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this with you. Why I didn’t want to trust you again!”
Your voice rises, each word sharper than the last, the tears in your eyes threatening to spill over. “You don’t understand what it’s like to feel this way, to love someone so much it hurts, and then watch them ruin you over and over again.”
His jaw tightens, and he takes a step closer, his hands raised slightly like he’s afraid to spook you. “I do understand,” he says, his voice low and hoarse. “I understand it because I feel that way about you. Every day.”
You laugh bitterly, a hollow, broken sound. “If you felt that way, you wouldn’t keep breaking my heart.”
He looks at you like the words physically hurt him, but you don’t stop. “Do you have any idea how hard this has been for me? How much it’s taken for me to even let you this close again? And now, after everything, I’m supposed to just stand here and believe you?” You poke him in the chest, your voice trembling as tears stream freely down your face. “Why should I?”
His lips part as though he’s going to respond, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just stares at you, his eyes wide, his expression wrecked. Finally, he whispers, “Because I love you.”
The words hang in the air between you like a live wire, crackling and sparking.
“You’re funny,” you snap, the anger masking the ache in your chest. “You love me? All you do is hurt me and make me cry, Bucky. I don’t even know why I’m still standing here!”
He flinches but doesn’t move, his blue eyes locked on yours. Slowly, hesitantly, he lifts a hand, brushing away the tears trailing down your cheek. His touch is impossibly gentle, like he’s afraid you might shatter under his fingertips.
“I didn’t kiss her,” he says, his voice raw and quiet. “I don’t want to kiss her. I don’t want to kiss or feel or be with or love anyone but you.”
You close your eyes, his words hitting too close to the place inside you where the ache lives. “You can’t blame me for not trusting you,” you whisper, your voice barely audible.
“I’m not blaming you,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “I’m not. I know I’ve screwed up before, more times than I can count.I know I’ve hurt you, and I hate myself for it.” His voice breaks, trembling at the edges. “I know I ran out of chances years ago. But please, you’ve gotta give me the benefit of the doubt with this one. Just this one, please.”
His desperation makes your throat tighten. You look at him, your heart pounding painfully in your chest. He looks completely wrecked, his blue eyes wide and pleading, his entire body tense like he’s holding himself together by sheer force of will.
“I don’t know if I can,” you whisper, your voice trembling.
“Yes, you can,” he says quickly, stepping closer, his voice soft but insistent. “I know you can. Please don’t walk away from me. Not again—I can’t do that again.”
You close your eyes, willing the tears to stop, but they don’t. They fall faster now, hot and unrelenting. “I’m so scared,” you admit, your voice breaking. “I don’t think I can survive this if you hurt me again.”
His expression crumbles, and for a moment, he looks like he might fall apart too. But then he takes another step closer, his hands trembling as he reaches for yours. “You won’t have to survive it again,” he says quietly. “Because I’m not going to hurt you. I swear to you, I’m not. I can’t lose you. Not again. You mean everything to me.”
The raw sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache so badly it’s hard to breathe. You don’t move, torn between the love you still feel for him and the fear of opening yourself up to more pain.
“I don’t know if I believe you,” you say softly, the words slipping out before you can stop them.
“That's okay, I’ll make you believe me,” he says, his voice steady despite the tears shining in his eyes. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Just… don’t give up on us. Please.”
The world feels like it’s tilting beneath your feet, every emotion colliding at once. You look at him, your tears mingling with his as his hands tighten gently around yours.
“I don’t know how to do this,” you whisper, the vulnerability in your voice making you flinch.
“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he says softly. “I’ll wait as long as you need. I’ll show you every day if that’s what it takes. Just… don’t walk away.”
For a long moment, neither of you speaks. The silence is heavy, but it’s not empty—it’s full of everything you’ve both left unsaid, full of hope and hurt and the possibility of something better.
Finally, you nod, just barely, the movement so small it’s almost imperceptible. But he sees it.
His shoulders sag with relief, and he steps closer, his forehead nearly touching yours as he exhales shakily. “Thank you,” he whispers.
You don’t say anything, your chest still tight, your emotions too raw. But when his hands brush against yours again, you don’t pull away.
----
The routine of meeting Bucky for coffee came to a halt after you saw the kiss. Or, more accurately, her kiss him. It didn’t matter that you knew what you saw wasn’t the full story; it didn’t matter that you knew in your gut that he wasn’t the one who leaned in first. The sight of it had cracked something in you, leaving all your old doubts and fears to spill through the cracks.
For a week, you ignored his texts, his calls, even the coffee shop where you’d fallen into the rhythm of meeting him. He hadn’t pushed—not at first. He gave you the space you needed, though you could feel his presence lingering like a shadow.
It was Wanda who called you out, her name lighting up your phone screen as you sat on your couch, staring at the untouched glass of wine on your coffee table.
You answered on the third ring, your voice tight. “Hey.”
“Hey,” she said, her tone light but laced with something careful. “How’s it going?”
You sighed, leaning back against the couch. “Fine.”
“Uh-huh,” she said, clearly not buying it. “So… are you just going to keep ignoring him forever?”
Your chest tightened, your fingers fidgeting with the edge of a blanket draped over the couch. “I don’t know,” you admitted quietly.
Wanda didn’t say anything for a moment, and the silence made you squirm. “He keeps asking about you, you know,” she said finally. “Every time I see him, it’s the same question: ‘Is she okay?’”
You swallowed hard, closing your eyes. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Wanda. I just… it’s hard. He keeps saying he’s different, and I do believe it, I do. But then I see something like that, and all I can think about is how it felt before—when he ignored me, when he brushed me off like I didn’t matter.”
She sighed softly. “I get that. I do. But you should know… he didn’t kiss her back. I was there. He didn’t even hesitate before pushing her away.”
“I know,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. “I know that. But it doesn’t make it easier. Because nobody gets to me the way he does, Wanda. Nobody ever has. He has this… hold on me, and it’s terrifying to feel that way about someone who’s hurt you before.”
Wanda’s voice softened, filled with sympathy. “I understand, Y/n. I do. It’s hard to let yourself be that vulnerable again when you’ve been burned. But I think… I think he’s trying, really trying. And maybe—”
There was a knock at your door.
You froze, your breath catching as you glanced toward the sound. “Hey, Wanda, I’ll call you back,” you said quickly.
“Bucky?” she asked knowingly.
“I’ll call you back,” you repeated before ending the call.
You hesitated for a long moment, your hand hovering over the doorknob. When you finally opened it, there he was.
Bucky stood there, his broad frame filling the doorway, a book tucked under his arm. His hair was slightly messy, and his blue eyes, normally so guarded, were filled with something soft and unsure.
“Hey,” he said quietly, his voice a little rough.
You blinked, surprised. “Bucky.”
He held out the book, almost like a peace offering. It was the one you’d mentioned weeks ago during one of your coffee meetings, a passing comment you’d thought he wouldn’t remember.
“What’s this?” you asked, your voice tentative.
He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant, but the faint flush creeping up his neck gave him away. “Saw it and thought of you.”
You stared at him, your fingers brushing against the cover as you took it. The gesture struck you harder than it should have, and you felt the familiar ache in your chest. “Bucky…”
“It’s just a book,” he said quickly, his voice faltering slightly. “Nothing big.”
But it felt big. It felt impossibly big.
“Thank you,” you said softly, running your fingers over the cover.
There was a pause, a heavy silence that seemed to stretch out between you. His eyes searched yours, and for a moment, neither of you moved.
“You gonna let me in, or should I go?” he asked lightly, a faint, hopeful smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You stepped back, gesturing for him to come inside. “Um yeah. Sure.”
The air between you felt charged as he followed you into the kitchen. You set the book down on the counter, trying to focus on the mundane action as a way to steady yourself.
“Do you want some tea or something?” you asked, your voice quieter than usual.
“Sure,” he said, leaning against the counter. His eyes never left you, and you could feel his gaze like a physical weight.
As you filled the kettle, the silence grew heavier, the unspoken words between you pressing down like a storm cloud. Finally, Bucky broke it.
“Y/n,” he started, his voice soft but steady. “I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I need to say something.”
You didn’t look at him, your fingers tightening on the kettle handle. “Bucky…”
“Please,” he said, stepping closer. “Just let me say this.”
You exhaled shakily, setting the kettle down and turning to face him. “Okay.”
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he seemed to struggle with the words. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and raw. “I messed up. Not just last week, not just with her, but before—all of it. I know I hurt you, I knew I was and I can’t take that back. But I swear to you, I’m not that guy anymore. I’m not.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, your heart pounding. “How am I supposed to believe that, Bucky? How am I supposed to trust that this time will be different?”
“Because it already is,” he said quickly, his voice rising slightly with urgency. “I’m trying, Y/n. I’m going to therapy. I’m showing up. I’m doing the work because I want to be better—for you.”
His words hit you like a wave, and your throat tightened as you blinked back tears. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to let someone back in after they’ve broken you?”
“I do,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “Because I’m terrified every day that I’ve lost you for good. But I can’t let you go without trying—without proving to you that I can be the person you deserve.”
The sincerity in his voice made your chest ache, and you looked away, tears slipping down your cheeks. “I’m scared,” you whispered. “I’m scared that if I let you back in, you’ll hurt me all over again.”
“I won’t,” he said firmly, stepping closer. “I promise you, I won’t. Just… let me try. Please.”
You didn’t move, your heart warring with your head. The love you felt for him was still there, buried under the hurt and the fear, but it was there.
He reached out slowly, his hand brushing against yours. “I love you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I love you so damn much.”
For a long moment, you didn’t say anything, your mind racing. But as you looked up at him, his blue eyes filled with nothing but raw, aching honesty, you felt something inside you begin to crack open.
“I can’t promise you anything,” you said softly. “But… I’ll try.”
A flicker of hope lit in his eyes, and he nodded, his hand squeezing yours gently. “That’s all I need.”
---
The trip to the cabin was Steve’s idea, of course. “We all need a break,” he had insisted weeks ago, his voice full of conviction. “No distractions, no work, just friends, fresh air, and some well-earned relaxation and of course alcohol.”
It had taken very little convincing to get everyone out there. The cabin was nestled deep in the woods, surrounded by towering pine trees and the faint sound of a nearby creek. The air smelled fresh, crisp, and you almost forgot how much you’d hesitated about coming—about being this close to Bucky, about opening yourself up to feelings you weren’t sure you could handle.
The first night was loud and chaotic, in the best way possible. Everyone gathered in the living room after dinner, the fire crackling in the stone fireplace. Bottles of wine and beer were scattered across the coffee table, along with a half-empty bottle of whiskey Sam had brought along and a stack of mismatched board games Natasha had insisted on bringing.
Natasha was leaning against Steve on the couch, her legs draped over his lap as she sipped her drink. Sam had claimed one of the armchairs, gesturing wildly as he recounted some ridiculous story about his time in the military. Wanda was curled up on the floor next to him, her cheeks pink from laughing too hard.
“And I swear to God, the guy thought he could outrun the damn helicopter,” Sam was saying, his hands moving animatedly.
Wanda snorted, nearly spilling her wine. “Oh my God, did he?”
“Obviously not!” Sam replied, rolling his eyes. “But he gave it his best shot. Dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, but you’ve got to respect the effort.”
Steve shook his head, chuckling. “I feel like you’ve told this story at least three times now.”
“Yeah, and it gets better every time,” Sam shot back, grinning.
“Maybe for you,” Natasha quipped, smirking. “For the rest of us, it’s just confirmation that you’ve always been impossible.”
“I am a delight, Romanoff,” Sam said, mock-offended.
“You’re something,” she muttered under her breath, making Wanda laugh.
Across the room, you were perched on the edge of a chair, nursing your drink and watching the back-and-forth unfold. Bucky sat on the arm of your chair, close enough that his shoulder occasionally brushed against yours.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he said softly, his voice low enough that only you could hear.
You glanced at him, startled by his closeness. “Just enjoying the show,” you replied, gesturing toward Sam, who was now debating something ridiculous with Steve.
Bucky smiled faintly, his eyes warm. “It’s good to see you like this,” he murmured. “Relaxed. Happy.”
The comment caught you off guard, and you felt a warmth rise in your chest that had nothing to do with the fire or the whiskey in your hand. “I guess I’m starting to figure things out,” you said quietly.
His gaze lingered on you, soft and unreadable, and for a moment, it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of you. But then Natasha made some sarcastic comment about Monopoly, and the group burst into laughter, shattering the moment.
As the night wore on, the group slowly began to drift off. Wanda yawned and declared she was calling it a night, and Natasha soon followed, dragging Steve along with her despite his protests that he wanted to stay up. Sam was the last to go, grumbling about how he wasn’t tired even as he stumbled toward the stairs.
Soon, it was just you and Bucky.
You stood in the kitchen, rinsing out your glass. The firelight flickered faintly from the living room, and the cabin had grown quiet, save for the occasional creak of the wooden beams.
Bucky walked in, his footsteps soft against the hardwood floor. He leaned against the counter, watching you.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice low and careful.
You nodded, not looking at him. “Yeah. Just winding down.”
He stepped closer, his presence filling the small space. “You sure? You seemed a little… distant earlier.”
You sighed, setting the glass down and finally turning to face him. “It’s just been a long day.”
His eyes searched yours, and you felt the weight of his gaze, the quiet intensity that always seemed to disarm you. “If there’s anything you want to talk about…” he started, but you shook your head.
“I’m fine, Bucky,” you said softly, offering a small, tired smile.
He nodded, though his expression remained thoughtful.
Later, you paced your room, your thoughts racing too much to settle. The cabin was quiet now, the kind of quiet that made everything feel sharper, more immediate. You couldn’t stop replaying the moments from earlier—the way Bucky had looked at you, the warmth in his voice when he said it was good to see you happy.
It was too much, and not enough all at once.
Finally, you decided to leave your room, the air feeling too stifling. But as you stepped into the hallway, you nearly collided with someone.
“Sorry,” you muttered, taking a step back.
“Y/n?”
It was Bucky.
You froze, your eyes locking with his. For a moment, neither of you moved, the tension between you palpable.
“Hi,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Hi,” he replied, his voice low and steady.
The space between you felt impossibly small, and as his gaze held yours, you saw something there—something raw and unguarded. Slowly, he reached up, his fingers brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
His hand lingered, his thumb grazing your cheek. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt your breath hitch as his thumb trailed down, brushing against your bottom lip.
“Bucky…” you whispered, your voice trembling.
He didn’t move, his blue eyes searching yours as if waiting for permission.
Your hands lifted, hesitating for just a moment before resting against his chest. You could feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your palms, and the warmth of him made your chest ache.
For a moment, the world seemed to stop.
And then you kissed him.
It was soft at first, hesitant, but the second his lips moved against yours, the floodgates opened. His hands cupped your face, holding you like you were something precious, and the kiss deepened, heat and longing pouring into every movement.
You stumbled back slightly, your back hitting the wall as his body pressed against yours. The air was thick with the heat between you, and his lips left yours just long enough to murmur, “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” you breathed, your voice shaking with certainty. “Yes, Bucky. Please.”
Bucky's lips found yours again, urgent but soft, like he couldn't quite believe this was happening. His hands were firm and steady as they cupped your face, his thumbs brushing along your cheeks as though trying to memorize every inch of your skin.
Your fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer. The heat of him pressed against you, grounding and consuming all at once.
The tension that had built between you for so long— weeks, months, years-was finally unraveling, pouring out in every kiss, every touch.
"Bucky," you whispered against his lips, your voice trembling.
His forehead rested against yours for a brief moment, his breath warm and uneven. "Tell me if you want me to stop," he murmured, his voice rough and filled with restraint.
You shook your head, your hands sliding up to rest on either side of his face. "I don't want you to stop," you said, your words firm despite the shakiness in your tone.
Something flickered in his eyes-relief, longing, something deeper. He kissed you again, his hands sliding down to your waist as he gently guided you backward, step by step, toward your room.
The door closed softly behind you, but neither of you noticed. All that mattered was the way his lips moved against yours, the way his hands settled on your hips before gliding up your sides. You gasped as his fingertips brushed the hem of your shirt, and he paused, his eyes searching yours.
"Are you sure?" he asked again, his voice quieter now, almost pleading.
"Yes," you said, your voice firmer this time. "Yes, I'm sure."
He nodded, his hands steady but his touch reverent as he helped you pull your shirt over your head. His lips found your neck, leaving a trail of warmth that made you shiver. Your hands roamed his chest, slipping under the fabric of his shirt until he let out a low, shaky laugh and pulled it off in one motion.
Every moment felt unhurried yet desperate, like the two of you were trying to savor every second while making up for lost time. You didn't think about what came next, didn't think about the consequences. All you could focus on was the way Bucky whispered your name like it was sacred, the way his hands held you like you were something he never wanted to let go of again.
When the two of you finally came together, it felt like the world outside your room didn't exist anymore. He moved with care, his lips finding yours again and again, his voice rough as he murmured your name in between kisses. He asked if you were okay, if you needed anything, if you wanted him to stop.
And every time, your answer was the same.
"Yes, Bucky. I'm sure."
When you woke up the next morning, the sunlight streaming through the window felt harsh, almost intrusive. Your head was still heavy with sleep, but the events of the night before came rushing back in vivid detail.
You sat up slowly, rubbing your hands over your face as panic began to creep in. What had you done? You had told yourself you'd be careful with Bucky, that you'd protect yourself this time. But now? Now you'd opened yourself up completely, and the fear of what came next made your chest tighten.
Your heart sank as your gaze flickered to the empty side of the bed. He was gone.
You sat there for a moment, your hands gripping the edge of the blanket as the familiar ache of heartbreak began to settle in. "Of course," you whispered bitterly to yourself. "Of course, he left."
But just as you swung your legs over the side of the bed, the door to the bathroom opened, and Bucky stepped out, a towel draped around his neck.
He froze when he saw you, his expression softening immediately. "Hey," he said, his voice still rough with sleep.
You blinked at him, relief washing over you so quickly it made you dizzy. "Hey," you said softly, your voice trembling.
His brows knit together as he crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed beside you. "You okay?"
"Yeah," you said quickly, but the way your voice cracked betrayed you.
"Don't lie to me," he said gently, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from your face.
"What's going on?"
You hesitated, your fingers twisting in the fabric of the blanket. "It's stupid," you muttered.
"It's not stupid if it's got you looking this upset," he said, his voice firm but kind. His thumb brushed lightly between your eyebrows, smoothing out the small crease there. "Put that worry wrinkle away, sweetheart."
You let out a shaky laugh, but your chest still felt tight. "Please don't get mad at me," you whispered, your voice barely audible.
"Mad at you?" he said, his tone incredulous. "I could never get mad at you. Just talk to me."
You took a deep breath, your eyes dropping to your hands. "I thought you left," you admitted finally. "When I woke up and you weren't here, I just... I panicked."
For a moment, he didn't say anything, and you risked a glance up at him. His jaw had clenched, his expression flickering with something you couldn't quite place-guilt, maybe, or frustration. But whatever it was, it disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by quiet understanding.
"I get it," he said softly, his voice steady. "And I'm sorry. I should've said something, told you i was just getting up for a minute. But I'm not going anywhere this time. I’m sorry I made you feel that way."
The sincerity in his voice made your throat tighten, and you nodded, swallowing hard.
"Okay," you said quietly.
He reached out, his hand covering yours, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles. "You believe me?"
"Yeah," you whispered. "I do."
He started to lean in but the moment was broken by a knock at the door.
"Y/n?" Steve's voice called out from the other side. "Have you seen Bucky?"
Before you could respond, Natasha's laugh rang out from the hallway. "Steve, give it a rest. He's probably hiding from Sam."
"Or in the bathroom," Sam's voice chimed in. "Probably pooping. Breakfast is ready, by the way!"
You and Bucky exchanged a look, both of you bursting into quiet laughter.
"I guess we should join them," you said, smiling softly.
"Yeah," he said, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer. "We should. Are we okay?”
You nodded “Were okay.”
---
The cabin had been a turning point for both of you, though neither of you dared to say it aloud. That night, tangled in the sheets and each other’s arms, had felt like a step forward—and yet, when morning came, the step wasn’t as certain as you’d hoped.
You hadn’t told anyone about what happened that night. Not Wanda, not Natasha, not anyone. They hadn’t suspected a thing, and honestly, you preferred it that way. Keeping it to yourself made it feel less complicated, like something you could push to the back of your mind when you needed to.
And after the cabin? Everything had gone back to normal. Or at least, you pretended it had. Bucky didn’t push or pry; he didn’t mention the night, didn’t ask for more. Instead, he gave you space—space to think, space to process, space to figure out what you really wanted.
For two weeks, you existed in this limbo, circling back to the quiet, steady friendship you’d rebuilt before the cabin. It was easier that way. Comfortable. Safe.
And yet, you couldn’t ignore the tension lingering beneath the surface. Every look, every touch, every shared laugh felt weighted, charged with unspoken words. You were grateful for his patience, but it terrified you too. Because the truth was, you didn’t know how to take the next step—or if you even could.
The room was alive with energy. It was the kind of night where the drinks flowed freely, the music hummed in the background, and everyone seemed to be in good spirits.
You’d lost count of how many drinks Sam had handed you, but you weren’t complaining. The warmth of the alcohol helped take the edge off, loosening the knot that always seemed to form in your chest when Bucky was around.
Wanda was perched on the armrest of a chair, laughing at one of Steve’s terrible jokes, while Natasha sat cross-legged on the floor, carefully stacking playing cards into a makeshift tower. Sam was dramatically recounting a story from his military days, gesturing so wildly that he knocked over one of Natasha’s stacks.
“Sam!” Natasha groaned, glaring at him.
“You can’t blame me for being animated!” Sam shot back, grinning.
“Nat, you should know by now that Sam’s hands talk more than his mouth does,” Steve teased, earning a laugh from Wanda.
“Hey, don’t drag me into this,” Wanda said, raising her hands in mock surrender. “I’m just here for the show.”
You stood by the bar, sipping your drink and smiling faintly at their banter. The atmosphere was easy and familiar, but your gaze kept drifting across the room—to him.
Bucky.
He was leaning against the wall, laughing at something Steve said, but his eyes kept flicking to you, like he couldn’t help himself.
Wanda noticed, of course. She always did.
“You’re staring,” she said softly, nudging you with her elbow.
You startled, quickly looking away. “I’m not staring,” you muttered.
She raised an eyebrow. “Sure you’re not.”
You sighed, shaking your head. “It’s fine, Wanda. We’re fine. We’re friends.”
“Friends who spent the night together at the cabin and haven’t addressed it since?” she asked, her voice careful but pointed.
You froze, your grip tightening on your glass. “We’re fine,” you repeated, your tone sharper this time. “I’m okay with the way things are.”
“Are you?” she asked quietly, tilting her head. “Is he?”
You didn’t answer, and she sighed. “Look, I know why you’re scared. And I get it—you’ve been through a lot with him. But don’t you think it’s worth figuring out what you actually want? Instead of hiding behind what feels safe?”
Before you could respond, Sam called out from across the room.
“Y/n! We’re playing charades, and you’re on my team!”
You rolled your eyes, grateful for the distraction. “Duty calls,” you said, ignoring Wanda’s knowing look as you moved to join the group.
--
After an intense game of charades that somehow devolved into everyone laughing more than guessing, Sam threw his hands in the air as you acted out his final clue—a ridiculous, flailing impression of a penguin that left the entire room in stitches.
“That’s it!” Sam shouted, pumping his fists in the air. “Team Sam for the win, baby!”
“Barely!” Natasha called from across the room, rolling her eyes as she leaned back against Steve’s chest. “You two cheated!”
“We didn’t cheat,” Sam argued, grabbing your hand and spinning you around dramatically. “We’re just that good.”
You laughed, breathless as Sam gave you an exaggerated hug, lifting you off the ground before setting you back down. “You’re ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head as you tried to catch your breath.
“And you love it,” Sam said with a wink before grabbing a beer from the table.
The room was still buzzing with laughter and chatter as you headed toward the kitchen to grab another drink. The warmth of the alcohol and the easy, familiar energy of your friends made you feel lighter than you had in weeks.
But as you opened the fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of water to offset the buzz in your head, you felt it—that familiar shift in the air.
When you turned, there he was.
Bucky stood a few feet away, his shoulders tense, his expression unreadable as he watched you. There was something in his eyes that made your chest tighten, though you couldn’t quite place what it was.
“Hey,” he said softly, stepping closer.
“Hey,” you replied, offering a faint smile as you twisted the cap off your bottle. “Having fun?”
“Not really,” he admitted, his voice low.
The response caught you off guard, and you raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
Instead of answering, he looked away for a moment, his jaw tightening. Then, with a deep breath, he met your gaze again. “Can we talk?”
You hesitated, your grip tightening on the bottle in your hand. “Now?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Please.”
Something in his voice made it impossible to say no, and you nodded, setting the bottle down on the counter. “Okay.”
He led you to a quieter corner of the room, away from the noise and laughter of your friends. The firelight from the living room flickered faintly against the walls, and the hum of conversation faded into the background as he turned to face you.
You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling exposed under the intensity of his gaze. “What’s going on, Bucky?”
He ran a hand through his hair, his shoulders stiff as if he was bracing himself for something. “I can’t do this anymore,” he said quietly.
The words hit you like a punch to the chest, and your stomach dropped. “Do what?”
“This,” he said, gesturing between the two of you. “Being your friend.”
You blinked, your heart pounding as your mind scrambled to catch up. “Why? Did I do something wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said quickly, his voice low and insistent. “It’s not you, it’s me. I can’t, I can’t just be your friend anymore.”
Your arms tightened around yourself as you stared at him, confusion and hurt swirling in your chest. “Bucky, what are you talking about?”
He exhaled sharply, his hands flexing at his sides as he looked away. “I’ve been trying,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ve been trying so damn hard to keep it together, to respect what you want, to just be here for you. But every time I see you, every time I hear your laugh or watch you smile, it’s like—”
He cut himself off, shaking his head as if the words were too much.
“Like what?” you pressed, your voice trembling.
His eyes snapped to yours, raw and vulnerable in a way that made your breath hitch. “Like I’m falling all over again.”
The weight of his confession settled heavily between you, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him.
“Bucky…” you whispered, your voice cracking.
“I can’t do it anymore,” he continued, his tone desperate now. “I can’t just stand on the sidelines and pretend I’m okay with being just your friend. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wanting to touch you, to hold you, to kiss you.”
Your chest tightened, your pulse thrumming in your ears as his words washed over you.
“What do you want from me?” you asked softly, your voice shaking.
“Everything,” he said without hesitation, his voice raw and steady.
The word lingered in the air, heavy and unshakable.
His hand lifted slowly, his fingers brushing against your cheek in a touch so gentle it made your knees weak. His thumb traced along your jaw, his touch reverent and careful, like he was afraid you might break.
“I love you,” he murmured, his voice trembling. “I’ve loved you this whole time.”
Tears welled in your eyes, your breath hitching as you struggled to process his words.
“You don’t have to say it back,” he added quickly, his thumb brushing away a tear that had slipped down your cheek. “I just needed you to know. I can’t keep pretending anymore.”
The room felt too small, too quiet despite the distant hum of the party behind you. Your thoughts raced, a million emotions colliding all at once—fear, longing, hope.
“Bucky,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I’m scared.”
“I know,” he said softly, his forehead lowering to rest against yours. “I know, and I don’t blame you, I just wanna be with you already.”
Your hands lifted to rest against his chest, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you closed your eyes. The sound of his heartbeat beneath your palms was steady, grounding, and for the first time in weeks, you felt the smallest flicker of hope.
“Okay,” you said quietly, your voice trembling. “But no more running.”
“No more running,” he promised.
This time he made the first move, he leaned in slowly, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that felt both tentative and certain, like he was pouring every unspoken word into the moment.
Behind you, someone (definitely Sam) yelled, “About damn time!” followed by Natasha’s dry laugh.
But none of it mattered.
When you pulled back, his eyes searched yours, his hands steady as they cupped your face. “Let me show you,” he whispered. “Let me prove it to you, I’m gonna prove it to you…”
----
The difference this time was undeniable.
Before, being with Bucky had felt like reaching for something you couldn’t quite grasp—like he was always just out of reach, holding back pieces of himself he didn’t think you could handle. But now? Now, it felt like the walls had come down. He wasn’t hiding anymore. He wasn’t running. He was just… there, steady and present, and it made you feel like you could finally breathe.
The first time you really noticed it was about a week after Sam’s birthday party. The group had gone out for drinks at one of your usual spots, a cozy bar with low lighting and worn wooden tables. The air was filled with laughter and the clinking of glasses, and you were in the middle of laughing at something Natasha had said when you felt it—Bucky’s hand resting on the back of your chair.
It wasn’t hesitant or uncertain like it used to be. No, this time, his touch was solid and deliberate, like he wanted everyone to know you were his.
He leaned down, his breath warm against your ear as he murmured, “You good, baby?”
The nickname sent a shiver down your spine, your heart stuttering in your chest. You looked up at him, and the soft smile on his face made you melt. “Yeah, I’m good,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
He kissed your temple, quick and easy, like it was the most natural thing in the world, before straightening. His hand slid down to rest on your shoulder, not in a possessive way but in a protective, grounding way that made your chest ache in the best way.
When you glanced around the table, you caught Wanda smirking at you, her brow raised knowingly. Steve, seated across from you, gave Bucky a small nod of approval, a silent acknowledgment that spoke volumes.
It felt good. It felt right.
Later that night, while Bucky was off getting another round of drinks with Steve, you found yourself alone at the table with Wanda. She was swirling the last of her wine in her glass, her eyes twinkling as she looked at you.
“What?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at her.
She shrugged, feigning innocence. “Nothing. I’m just… happy for you.”
You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t start.”
“I’m serious,” she said, leaning forward. “You deserve this. And honestly? It’s about damn time he got his act together.”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “I don’t know. Sometimes it still feels… fragile, you know?”
“Fragile?” she repeated, her brow furrowing.
“Like… I’m still waiting for something to happen, to go wrong,” you admitted, your voice softer now. “I know he’s not the same as he was. I can see it. But it’s hard to forget how things were before.”
Wanda reached across the table, her hand covering yours. “Y/n, listen to me. I know what he put you through, and I know how scared you are. But he’s not the same guy he was two years ago. He’s different. You can see it in the way he looks at you.”
You hesitated, her words sinking in. “You think so?”
“I know so,” she said firmly, squeezing your hand. “And I think you know it too. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here with him right now.”
Before you could respond, Bucky returned to the table with a fresh drink in hand. He slid it in front of you with a soft smile before sitting back down, his knee brushing against yours under the table. Wanda shot you one last knowing look before turning the conversation to something else entirely.
A few nights later, you found yourself on the phone with Sam, who had called under the pretense of asking about a new restaurant but quickly steered the conversation elsewhere.
“So,” he said, his tone far too casual to be innocent. “You and Bucky, huh? Is it official?”
You groaned, flopping back onto your couch. “I knew this was coming.”
“What? I’m just checking in!” he said, feigning indignation. “As your best friend, it’s my job to make sure this guy isn’t screwing you over again.”
“Sam…” you warned, though there was no heat behind it.
He laughed, but his tone softened. “Nah, I’m just messing with you. Honestly, I’m happy for you. I really am.”
You blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. “You are?”
“Of course,” he said. “I mean, look, I was ready to kick his ass a few years ago, and I’m still on standby if you ever need me to.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Oh my God, Sam.”
“But,” he continued, his voice steady now, “I don’t think I’m going to have to worry about that. Not this time.”
The warmth in his words made your chest tighten, and you stayed silent, letting him continue.
“Bucky’s always looked at you like that, you know,” Sam said after a moment. “Like you’re the only thing in the room that matters. He just… wasn’t ready before. And I didn’t want to tell you that back then because I knew it’d only hurt you more. But now? Now I think he’s finally figured his shit out.”
You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “You really think so?”
“I know so,” Sam said firmly. “And no one deserves happiness more than you, Y/n. Not after everything.”
The words hit you harder than you expected, and you felt tears prick at your eyes. “Thanks, Sam,” you whispered.
“Don’t get all mushy on me now,” Sam teased, though his voice softened at the edges. “Seriously though, just know I’m here if you need me. But… honestly? I don’t think you will.”
You smiled faintly, your grip tightening on the phone. “I hope not,” you whispered, the words barely audible.
There was a pause, and you could almost hear the grin in his voice when he spoke again. “Anyway, I’m booking that reservation for the weekend. Make sure you fill your man in for me, will ya?”
“Sam!” you groaned, though you couldn’t help but laugh.
“Uh-uh,” Sam cut you off, his tone playful. “Don’t even start!”
You rolled your eyes, though your cheeks warmed at his words. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said with a laugh. “I’ll take that as a thank-you for always looking out for you.”
“Thank you,” you said, your voice soft but sincere.
“Anytime,” he replied. “Just don’t forget to tell Bucky he owes me one for letting him off the hook.”
You laughed again, shaking your head. “I’ll be sure to pass the message along.”
“You’d better,” Sam quipped. “Now go enjoy your night. And don’t worry so much, okay?”
“I’ll try,” you said, smiling as you hung up.
----
The next few weeks were a quiet kind of revelation. The Bucky you were getting to know now was someone entirely different from the man you’d fallen for before. Not because he’d changed into someone new, but because he’d finally let you see the parts of him he’d kept hidden for so long.
He started coming over more often, always bringing something with him. Flowers, your favorite coffee, a book he’d remembered you mentioning in passing weeks ago. He never showed up empty-handed, and every gesture felt thoughtful in a way that left your heart aching.
One Friday morning, you were rushing out the door for a long day at work when you nearly tripped over a small box sitting on your doorstep. Inside was a muffin from your favorite café and a note written in his messy scrawl: For the busiest girl I know—don’t forget to eat today. Love, B.
When you texted him a thank-you, he replied almost immediately:
You deserve it. Now go kill it today.
It was in the small things, the quiet moments, that you realized how much he’d changed.
-
The group met up for dinner at a lively restaurant. The table was loud, everyone shouting over one another as Natasha and Sam argued about who was better at pool. Wanda kept flicking her straw wrapper at Steve, who was trying—and failing—to mediate.
Bucky sat beside you, his hand resting lightly on your knee beneath the table. It made you feel like the room could fall apart around you, and you’d still be okay.
“Nat, just admit you’re terrible at pool,” Sam teased, leaning back in his chair with a smug grin.
“I’m not terrible. I’m calculated,” Natasha shot back, narrowing her eyes.
“Sure,” Sam said, drawing out the word. “You’re so calculated that Steve had to make half your shots last time.”
“Excuse me,” Steve interjected, looking mildly alarmed. “I thought we weren’t bringing that up again.”
The group dissolved into laughter, and as you leaned forward to take a sip of your drink, Bucky reached over, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face.
When you glanced at him, surprised, he just smiled and said loud enough for everyone to hear, “What? You’re beautiful.”
The table fell quiet for half a beat. Natasha raised a brow in surprise, Wanda exchanged a look with Sam, and Sam grinned wide enough to split his face.
“Barnes,” Sam drawled, shaking his head. “Look at you, all smooth. Who are you, and what have you done with the grumpy man we knew?”
Bucky just shrugged, completely unbothered. “He’s retired.”
But as much as you were finding your rhythm with Bucky, there was one thing that hadn’t quite settled: being at his apartment.
Every time you were there, you felt… uneasy. Not in an obvious way, but Bucky noticed.
You sat on the edge of the couch instead of sinking into it. You fidgeted more, your eyes flicking around the room like you were looking for something—or avoiding something. And when you thought he wasn’t looking, your gaze lingered on the places that held the weight of old memories.
It was after one of these moments that Bucky found himself talking to Wanda. She’d stayed late after a group dinner, and the two of them were cleaning up the kitchen when Bucky finally asked, “Do you think she’s okay?”
Wanda paused, a glass in her hand. “Who?”
“Y/n,” he said, running a hand over the back of his neck. “She seems… I don’t know. Off. Especially when she’s here, am I doing something wrong? I thought everything was going perfect.”
Wanda’s eyes softened. “Bucky, it’s not you. It’s just… this place. There are memories here. Moments she can’t shake.” She hesitated, then added, “It’s like the air still held pieces of her sadness. And she’s trying, but being here? It’s hard for her.”
Bucky listened, his expression unreadable. But later that night, as he lay awake in bed, her words stayed with him. Because of course, why didn’t he think of that all the times he held you and told you, you were everything and then just to leave you high and dry the next day. All the times he called you over for his own selfishness just to wash you away less than 24 hours after.
It wasn’t long after that when you noticed something different. Bucky was quieter, distracted, like he was carrying something he hadn’t figured out how to share yet.
After dinner at your place, you finally asked.
“Okay, what’s going on?” you said, setting your glass down and turning to face him.
He blinked, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been weird all night,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “Is everything okay?”
He hesitated, running a hand through his hair before leaning back in his chair. “I’ve been thinking about moving.”
Your brows furrowed in surprise. “Moving? Why?”
Bucky shrugged, leaning back in his chair as he tried to keep his tone casual. But you could see the flicker of something vulnerable in his eyes, something he wasn’t sure how to say out loud. “Out with the old, in with the new, right?” he said, forcing a small smile before letting it fade.
You tilted your head, studying him, waiting for the real reason to come out.
He hesitated, his fingers lightly tapping the edge of the table before continuing, “That place… it’s got too much history. And if we’re going to do this,” he gestured between the two of you, his voice softening, “I want to do it right. I don’t want you to feel like you’re walking into a past you didn’t ask for.”
The sincerity in his words hit you like a wave, making your throat tighten. You looked down at your hands, fidgeting with your fingers as you tried to steady yourself. The memories of his apartment, those nights you spent waiting, wondering, hurting, flashed through your mind, and you realized he wasn’t just talking about moving to a new place. He was trying to move on from everything that hurt you.
“Hey,” he said softly, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. His fingers were warm and steady, grounding you in a way that made the ache in your chest both better and worse. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.”
You nodded, your eyes stinging as you squeezed his hand. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
“Anything for you, sweetheart,” he said, his voice so full of quiet conviction that it made your chest ache.
He leaned forward, brushing a soft kiss against your forehead before leaning back to grab the remote, a small, easy smile playing at his lips. “Okay, enough heavy stuff. Let’s pick a movie before we end up debating for an hour.”
You laughed faintly, the warmth of his kiss still lingering. But as he started scrolling through Netflix, you couldn’t help but glance at him out of the corner of your eye. The way his shoulders relaxed when he was with you, the soft hum he made under his breath when he was thinking—it was so different from the guarded, distant man you’d known before.
And that’s when the question slipped out, unbidden but insistent.
“Hey, Bucky?” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah?” he replied instantly, turning to look at you, his attention focused entirely on you.
You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. But then you forced yourself to say it, your heart pounding. “What are we?”
The question hung in the air, the silence stretching just long enough for doubt to creep in. But then Bucky set the remote down, turning to face you fully. His expression wasn’t hesitant or uncertain like it used to be, it was serious, calm, and sure.
“You’re mine,” he said simply, the words soft but unwavering. “And I’m yours. That’s all I know, and it’s all I want to be.”
Your breath caught, your chest tightening as the weight of his words settled over you. His hands came up to cup your face, his thumbs brushing gently over your cheeks as he looked at you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.
“Does that work for you?” he asked, his voice quieter now, almost shy, like he wasn’t sure if he’d said too much.
You nodded, swallowing hard as emotion bubbled up in your chest. “Yeah,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “It works.”
His lips curved into a small, relieved smile, and he leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours. “Good,” he murmured, his thumbs still tracing soft patterns against your skin. “Because I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
You just sat there, breathing him in, letting the weight of his words wash over you. The space between you didn’t feel like it was filled with doubt or hesitation, it felt solid. Real.
“Now,” he said after a beat, pulling back just enough to kiss the tip of your nose before reaching for the remote again. “What cheesy rom-com are we watching tonight? Because I know you’ve got one in mind.”
You laughed, the sound light and unguarded, as you reached for the blanket draped over the back of the couch. “You say that like you’re not the one who secretly loves rom-coms.”
“Hey,” he said, feigning indignation. “I’ve got a reputation to protect, doll.”
“Yeah, sure,” you teased, nudging him with your shoulder.
He smiled at you, and the look in his eyes, the quiet joy, the undeniable love, made your heart ache in the best way.
You felt like you weren’t just falling. You were landing somewhere safe.
--
The sun was warm against your skin, filtering through the leafy trees that lined the bustling farmer’s market. The scent of fresh flowers, ripe fruit, and baked bread swirled in the air, mingling with the chatter of vendors and the hum of conversations. People moved through the stands, their arms laden with produce and bouquets, but the only presence that mattered to you was Bucky’s.
He was beside you, his shoulder brushing yours every few steps, his hand gripping the bags of produce you’d insisted on buying. Every now and then, he glanced at you, flashing that crooked smile that still made your stomach flip.
“Do you really need more peaches?” he asked, his voice laced with mock exasperation as he eyed the basket you held.
“Yes,” you replied, feigning offense as you picked out two more and gently placed them into the bag. “You’ll thank me later when I make that peach cobbler you won’t stop talking about.”
He grinned, leaning down so his forehead lightly bumped yours. “Fine. Cobbler wins. But only if I get to eat it straight out of the dish.”
You laughed, nudging his arm with your elbow as you moved toward the next stall. “Only because its your housewarming gift..”
“You're the best” he murmured, his voice warm, before placing a quick kiss to the top of your head.
At the flower stand, the vibrant colors caught your eye. Bouquets of sunflowers, daisies, and tulips spilled across the table in a wild display of life. You reached out, letting your fingertips brush the soft petals of a sunflower as you admired its brightness.
You didn’t notice when Bucky stepped away, too absorbed in the moment. But when he returned, you turned to find him holding a small bundle of daisies, their white and yellow blooms bright against his dark shirt.
“For you,” he said softly, his voice low, almost shy.
The gesture made your heart ache, the simplicity of it filling you with warmth. You took the daisies, your fingers grazing his as you did. “You’re getting really good at this boyfriend thing,” you said, your smile teasing but sincere.
He smirked, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. “Just trying to keep my girl happy.”
Your heart stuttered at his words, and you looked away, pretending to study the flowers so he wouldn’t see the way your cheeks burned. “You’re doing a pretty good job,” you admitted quietly, more to yourself than to him.
At the next stand, baskets of apples were piled high, their shiny red skins gleaming in the sunlight. You picked one up, turning it over in your hand. “What do you think?” you asked, holding it up for Bucky’s opinion.
He leaned closer, pretending to inspect it with exaggerated seriousness. “I think it’s an apple.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing. “You’re impossible.”
He grinned, grabbing an apple and tossing it into the bag. “Fine. You pick the apples, and I’ll carry them. That’s the deal.”
“Deal,” you said, sticking your hand out dramatically for a handshake.
Instead of shaking your hand, he pulled you closer by the wrist, his hand settling lightly on your waist. His thumb brushed against your side absentmindedly, the touch sending a spark through you. It was such a small thing, but it rooted you to the moment—a quiet reminder of how far you’d both come. You couldn't believe this was the same stand you stood at 3 and a half years ago watching Bucky breaknyour heart and yet here you were now.
By the time you’d finished making your rounds, your bags were full, and so was your heart. You both found a spot on a nearby bench, the wooden surface warmed by the sun. Bucky set the bags down at his feet and pulled out a basket of strawberries you’d picked up earlier.
“Fresh strawberries,” he said, plucking one from the pile. “Can’t beat this.”
You reached for one, but he held it just out of your reach, grinning mischievously.
“Bucky,” you laughed, leaning forward to grab it.
“What’s the magic word?” he teased, his voice playful.
You narrowed your eyes, your hand hovering. “Please.”
He finally let you take it, laughing as you popped the strawberry into your mouth. “Gotta keep you on your toes,” he said with a wink, leaning back against the bench.
The moment was so simple, so easy, and yet it felt monumental. His arm draped over the back of the bench, his fingers brushing your shoulder absentmindedly. His other hand found yours, his fingers lacing through yours like it was second nature.
The world felt quiet. Peaceful.
“Are you happy?” Bucky’s voice was soft, almost hesitant, as he broke the comfortable silence. His tone was so quiet that it almost got lost in the sounds of the world around you, the distant murmur of conversations, the occasional rustle of leaves in the warm breeze. But you heard it. You always heard him.
You turned to look at him, your chest tightening at the way he was watching you. His blue eyes, soft and searching, held a depth that made your heart ache in the best way. It wasn’t just a casual question. It was something deeper, something raw. Like he needed to hear it, needed to know that he was doing enough, that this, what you were building together was enough.
“Yeah,” you said honestly, your voice steady but tender. “I am.”
For a second, Bucky didn’t move. He just stared at you, like he was trying to memorize the way you looked at him, the way you said it. Then, slowly, his lips curled into a small, warm smile, the kind that reached his eyes and softened the sharp edges of his features.
His thumb brushed against the back of your hand in slow, deliberate circles, a quiet gesture that said everything he couldn’t put into words. “Good,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Because I’ve never been happier.”
The sincerity in his words wrapped around you like a blanket, filling every crack you hadn’t even realized was still there. It wasn’t loud or grandiose. It was simple, honest, and real.
You leaned into his side, letting your head rest against his shoulder. His arm tightened around you instinctively, pulling you closer. The warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, it was all so familiar, yet so new. It felt like home, but a version of home you’d never known you needed until now.
This was different. This was real. This was everything you’d both fought for.
“I love you,” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could second-guess them.
You felt him stiffen slightly, his breathing hitching as the weight of your words hung in the air. His arm around you loosened just enough for him to pull back and look at you fully, his expression a mix of disbelief and something else, something vulnerable and raw.
“You do?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly as if he didn’t dare believe it.
You met his gaze, your eyes soft but unwavering. “I always have,” you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. “And I never stopped.”
The silence that followed felt heavy, but not in a bad way. It was full of everything unsaid, everything you’d both held back for so long. And then you saw it, the way his eyes watered, the way his lips parted like he was trying to find the words but couldn’t.
You reached up, your thumb gently brushing away the tear that slipped down his cheek. “Hey,” you murmured, your voice soft and teasing despite the lump in your throat.
“I love you too,” he whispered, his voice so low it almost broke. His hand came up to cup your face, his touch gentle, reverent, like he was afraid you might disappear if he let go. “So much.”
You smiled through your own tears, your chest aching with a kind of joy you hadn’t thought you’d ever feel again. “Yeah, I know,” you said softly, your tone teasing but warm.
A shaky laugh escaped him, the sound raw and full of disbelief, as if he couldn’t quite wrap his head around the moment. He leaned forward, his forehead pressing against yours, his breath warm and shaky. For a moment, neither of you spoke. You just breathed each other in, the world around you fading into nothing.
“I never deserved you,” he said finally, his voice trembling with emotion. “Still don’t.”
His words hit you square in the chest, and you felt your throat tighten. You pulled back just enough to look at him, your hand still resting on his cheek. His blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears, his vulnerability laid bare in a way that made your heart ache.
“Bucky,” you said softly, shaking your head. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true,” he insisted, his voice breaking. “You gave me everything, and all I ever did was hurt you. And even now, after everything, you’re still here. I don’t know why, but…” His voice trailed off, and he let out a shaky breath. “I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be the man you deserve.”
You felt your chest tighten even further, a lump rising in your throat as his words washed over you. You cupped his face in both hands now, forcing him to meet your gaze. “You don’t have to spend the rest of your life proving anything to me,” you said firmly, your voice trembling. “You’re already enough, Bucky. You always have been, even before.”
His lips parted, but no words came out. Instead, he just stared at you, as if trying to memorize every detail of your face. His hands slid down to your waist, holding you gently, like you were something fragile and precious.
“Do you really mean that?” he asked quietly, his voice thick with emotion.
You smiled, brushing your thumbs over his cheekbones. “Every word,” you whispered. “I don’t care about the past anymore. All that matters is this. Us. Right here, right now.”
His eyes softened, and for a moment, you saw the walls he’d spent so many years building start to crumble. He let out a shaky laugh, leaning into your touch. “God, I love you,” he murmured. “I don’t even know if I can say it enough to make up for all the times I didn’t.”
“You just did,” you said with a soft smile, leaning in until your lips brushed his.
The kiss was slow, tender, and filled with a quiet kind of intensity that made your heart feel like it might burst. His hands tightened on your waist, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t bear the thought of any distance between you.
When you finally pulled back, your foreheads rested together again, your breaths mingling in the quiet space between you.
It wasn’t about wrong timing or unfinished promises—it was just you and him, finally in step, finally ready. Right person, right time, and this time, you both got it right.
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cowboymarcs · 9 months ago
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rough
joel miller x fem!reader
summary: jackson had made joel soft, and while you delighted in the domesticity of it all, some small, shameful part of you missed how hard he fucked you when the world was ending.
warnings: smut, piv, rough (but consensual) sex, choking, face slapping, daddy kink, dom!joel, name calling, unedited (i'm sorry), you are responsible for the media that you consume.
word count: 1.4k
joel miller’s rough, calloused hands only softened as he spent more time in jackson. his shoulders began to relax, losing the tension of years spent on the road. habits of checking his six and his hand hovering over the strap of his rifle had been broken. joel miller, for better or worse, had become soft, and you loved it.
you loved the way he stroked your face gently while gazing at you. his brows no longer furrowed and angry, only easy. your heart warmed when he came home tired and achy from patrol, but not exhausted from trying to survive. you loved this part of him, you truly did… but some small, shameful part of you missed his roughness. 
the rough, fast fucks that the two of you had to squeeze in here and there, his hard demeaner and hoarse voice. you missed the way he would fiercely bite hickies into your neck. you missed the way he ‘used you’; longed for it even. but it felt wrong to miss it, to take for granted the happiness that jackson brought you. 
you watched joel now, sipping on his drink across the bar, chatting with one of tommy’s friends. his eyes met yours, asking a silent question. want me to take you home? you downed the rest of your drink in answer, striding across the bar and looping an arm through his, fingers resting on his strong bicep. 
“gonna take the lady home,” joel excused himself, “nice talking to you.” the man nodded and raised his glass. you waved before turning towards your man. 
“you enjoying yourself, darlin’?”
“never been better,” you replied honestly, laying your head against his shoulder, and hugging his arm tighter. 
the walk home felt too long, your blood thrumming with need the closer you got to the house. your mind began to wonder, daydreaming of thoughts of joel fucking you rough from behind, smushing your face down into the mattress and whispering nasty words into your ear. 
“you alright, sweet thing?”
“huh? oh, yes i’m good.” his words had brought you out of your daze, making you realize you stood in front of the door to your home. he opened the door for you, following you in. as the two of you got ready for bed, doing your respective nightly routines, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander back to your fantasies. 
fantasies of his thick hands around your throat, hips snapping against yours. your panties seemed to dampen. you looked at yourself in the mirror, trying to find the confidence to ask joel to fulfill those particular fantasies. you tiptoed into the bedroom, finding joel lying on his back, arm draped lazily over his eyes. he wore only his boxers, showing off his broad shoulders and hair that trailed down his tummy. 
“joel?” you whispered, standing awkwardly in the doorway. he sat up, sensing your apprehension. 
“what’s wrong, darlin’?” you opened your mouth and closed it a few times, not sure how to say that yes, you loved the sex you were having now, but you missed how hard he fucked you when the world was ending. “c’mon, spit it out.”
“i miss having rough sex with you, joel.” a weight lifted off your chest at the confession. 
“that’s all? well you could’ve just said that, sweetheart. no use in gettin’ all worked up over nothin’.” he motioned for you to join him on the bed and raised a frisky eyebrow. “i’d fuck you into next week if you wanted me to.”
you chuckled at his playfulness before looking at him again, earnestness in your eyes. “that’s not all i want, joel… i-i want you to hit me.” 
he cleared his throat and leaned back an inch. he was taken by surprise, and rightfully so. while the two of you had dabbled in choking and spanking, the thought of hitting you - hurting you had never crossed his mind. 
“oh,” was all he muttered. 
“i understand if you don't want to,” you began to babble before he shushed you. 
“it’s not that i don’t want to… i just want you to be completely sure that this is what you want. i would never want to hurt you, darlin’.” he brushed a stray hair from your face before kissing you tenderly. you welcomed the kiss by grabbing his curls and pulling him as close as he could possibly get. 
“you could never hurt me, joel.” he groaned at your words before laying you down and caging you in with his arms. you could feel him harden against your core. his kisses became feverish, tongue diving into your mouth to taste your wet heat. you pulled away, looking into his soft, brown eyes. “i want this, joel, more than anything. i want you to use me.”
joel’s eyes immediately darkened, reminded of the ways he used to fuck you when you two were on the run. the way you used to scream his name and beg for his mercy in bed. he looked at you now, ready to take him fully, eyes wide and pussy wet. 
“stop me if it hurts.” it was all he said before he tore your panties off. he scrambled to push his boxers down, fiending for a release. he grabbed his cock, sliding his head through your wetness, spreading your juices all over his cock. 
“you don’t even need any prep, huh? all wet and ready for daddy?” you nodded fiercely, praying that joel would push into you any second. you whined as he kept playing with your pussy. “so needy, huh sweetheart? daddy’s not gonna go any quicker unless you ask nicely.”
the head of his thick cock brushed swiftly over your aching clit, making you jump. you threw your head back, relishing in the anticipation, the tension, the buzzing need to have joel’s cock inside of you and his coarse hands controlling you. 
“please joel, please,” you panted, hands running down his chest, fingers scratching him slightly, “i need you to fuck me, baby.”
“well since you’re bein’ such a good girl for me i suppose we can make that happen.” he pushed into you in one fell swoop, his thick, hard girth pressing into your wet cunt. your moan that was released from you was obscene and absurdly loud. joel set a fast pace, giving your body no time to adjust to his size. the burn of him stretching you out mixed with the pleasure of his head hitting your g-spot filled your vision with stars. 
your moans invigorated him, his hands grabbing at your full tits and squeezing them before leaning down and nipping at them. his mouth sucked at the skin of your tits, biting and marking them as his own. his hands left the warm skin of your tits, making you mewl at the loss of contact, only for joel’s hands to find your calves, and folding you in half. your legs resting on his shoulders, his cock plunging deeper inside of you. your whines and joel’s respective grunts filled the room along with the intense, lewd slapping of his balls against your backside. 
“j-joel!” you sputtered out. his eyes darkened and you knew it was coming - your pussy clenched at the thought.
joel raised his hand over the two of you and brought it down, slapping you across your face. the sting reverberated through your bones and the pleasure traveled all the way to your cunt that was squelching around his cock. his hand, now wrapping around your throat, brought you close to his face. your lips were ghosting his, his breath dancing upon yours. there were tears of pleasure in your eyes. 
“that’s not my fuckin’ name,” he gritted out, still fucking you at his rapid pace. you realized what game he was playing.
“i’m sorry, daddy. i’ll be good, i promise,” you pleaded. a small smirk found joel’s face; he was satisfied with your reply. he pounded into you, chasing his release. you could focus on nothing but the delicious feel of his cock thrusting into you, and the crazed look in his eyes that you missed so fondly. he began to thrust rapidly, desperate to fill you up with his seed. 
“yeah thats right, baby, clenching around daddy’s cock like the whore you are,” he spat. you let out an involuntary moan at his harsh words, pussy gushing. 
his hips stuttered, releasing his hot cum into you. he grunted in relief, hand that was squeezed around your neck releasing and petting your face gently. his softness had returned. you felt his cock pull out of you, causing a groan to leave your mouth. 
“is that what you wanted, darlin’?”
“that was perfect, joel, thank you.”
joel smiled, lifting off of you to fetch you a glass of water and a new pair of panties for bed. 
1K notes · View notes
vettelsvee · 7 months ago
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I ALREADY HAVE A WIFE | Sebastian Vettel
history series main masterlist | requests here!
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ferrari sebastian vettel x race engineer wife!reader
word count: 3450
summary: seb messes up on a press conference while his pregnant wife is there, and he also has to face a journalist that wants to try have a chance with him
warnings: this is based on THAT interview you know all too well (what are YOUR plans?). curse words, pregnancy and everything involved in it, talks of abortion, mental health issues (fluff fluff fluff)
a/n: this is part of history series (coming soon as is being heavily edited). it was my maiden series so... look carefully between lines because there might be some details you don't want to miss out. let me know what do you think of this pleaseeeeee you know i'm always waiting for your feedback, as well as comments and chats on that anon button please! and also, don't forget reblogs are truly appreciated
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© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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“Rose Benson, for The Times. A question for all three drivers: it’s just 102 days until we’re in Australia. What are your plans now between… What are you gonna be doing over the winter break? 
“What are your plans?”
Everyone in the room was no surprised by Seb’s answer. Laughter started to fill the room, spreading quickly except for two people: Britta and you. You noticed her gaze piercing your husband, as if she were mentally scolding him, like every time she did when he messed up. You, however, just looked at him with a look of disappointment.
She was unsure about what she had just heard, you knew it perfectly.
Seb face immediately turned pale, as if he knew he shouldn’t have said that. As Seb’s not also wife, but also race engineer, you were used to this kind of behaviour and jokes, but today… it just hit different. 
“Seemed to be counting the days,” he continued while starting to laugh a bit nervous. “Can’t wait.”
Max and Lewis, sitting next to him, joined in the laughter, making him laugh even more as the situation seemed to begin to slip out of his control. You were sure that he knew that having you just a few meters away, shaking your head constantly at the same time you whispered something to his PR didn’t bode well. 
“Seb, you go first,” a journalist said. “What are your plans?”
“Uh…”
“Another baby?” Lewis interrupted.
You knew all to well that he tried his best to not tell anything. Apart from your four years old little girl, both of your families, and Britta and Antti, no one knew yet that you couldn’t try for another baby because the baby was already on the way. 
You couldn’t take the risk of sharing the news and then telling people all over the world that you had an abortion, just as happened to you in 2016.
“Uh... well…” Seb stammered, not knowing what else to say. “Quickly done.”
Even though you were caught up in the laughter around you, you couldn’t control your growing nervousness, as well as your husband, and it kept getting worse every time you glanced at him. You crossed your arms, almost falling off your chair, and decided to rest your head on Britta's shoulder. You tried your best not to fall asleep, but the yawns continued leaving your mouth with no shame at all.
“If you need advice I know how to do it.”
Another mess-up.
Britta was already signaling with her hands to him so he stopped saying nonsense, totally overwhelmed not because she wasn’t used to it, but because she was maybe too worried about you. You straightened up as soon as you heard that, and instinctively placed your hands on your barely noticeable belly, thanking yourself for having decided to start wearing clothes a couple of sizes larger than usual.
“Keep pushing,” Max blurted out, immediately drinking from his bottle.
“Well... I don't know how long you two want to stay on free practice sessions, but... if you want…”
“I like free practice,” the Dutchman commented. “I'd rather stay there for now.”
Lewis and Max kept talking to him, but you knew he was trying his best to go along with the conversation.
After what felt like an eternity, the press conference ended. Everyone started to get up and scatter around the room, probably to chat with each other. The season was over, and they wanted to do the usual: say goodbye and wish each other a good winter break. Seb  did the same, with the difference that he headed straight towards you.
You were still sat, eyes fixed on the floor while you fidgeted with your fingers nervously, tears streaming down your cheeks.
You felt like a complete idiot because, even though he hadn't meant any harm and your really knew that, he should have thought before speaking because he knew all too well that you usually got overly sensitive. You had been through a pregnancy together before, and although it was a vast world full of unknowns, certain patterns did repeat.
The constant desire for sex and the hormonal ups and downs you suffered were the most obvious.
Slowly, he approached you and, with utmost care, knelt beside you, placing a hand on your thigh. You didn't pull away as you usually did when she was mad at him, and you saw in his eyes that he wasn’t expecting you to react that way.
“I'm sorry if what I said made you uncomfortable, especially that baby talk. The last thing I wanted to do was to upset you but I ended up messing up, like always.”
You lifted her gaze, meeting his. He knew you were not exactly sad, but a bit disappointed at the thought that someone might have discovered the pregnancy you were trying so hard to keep secret.
“I swear I hate you right now, Sebastian Vettel,” you said, being completely honest and letting the hormones act for you. “You made me feel so bad, I swear, but…”
Your words came out broken, and tried your best to keep your cool.
He knew you stopped talking because your eyes welled up more than usual: you were on the verge of breaking down but didn't want to do it in public. He leaned his forehead against yours, your faces almost touching.
“I never wanted to make you feel this way, my love,” he whispered. “You, alongside our girl, are the most important people to me, and you know that perfectly well,” you nodded, though he knew you doubted it. “You don't know how much I regret not taking care of my words…”
You looked at him, perhaps trying to find the obvious honesty behind his words. You knew he was being completely honest, but once again, your insecurity was consuming you and acting on your behalf.
“Seb, I hate myself right now. Quite a lot, actually,” you revealed in a nearly inaudible whisper. “I hate being pregnant because I feel useless! I'm so bipolar…” you tensed up, though standing and positioning yourself next to him to keep talking without anyone overhearing. “I want to hit you, I want to cry, and at the same time, I want you to take me to the bathrooms and have casual sex like we were teenagers. Do you understand me, sunshine?”
You said that but actually no, he couldn't understand you because he didn't know what it was like to be roughly eight weeks pregnant.
“Y/N, hey, listen to me love,” he said, holding your face in his hands and wiping away your tears. “You don’t have to hate yourself for feeling this way, alright? We’re in this together, and you’re going through a lot of changes. It’s completely normal to feel this way,” he repeated.
You nodded, and even curled your lips into a small smile. You didn’t waste any time and quickly started hugging him and leaving kisses on his right cheek.
But that ended abruptly when you both heard a throat clear behind you.
Britta was standing next to none other than the pink-haired girl who had asked your husband about his winter break plans earlier.
Rose Benson, that Italian journalist who had become one of the best, if not the most prominent, additions to Formula 1 journalism.
“Sebastian, as charming as ever I see…” her words made you cling tightly to Seb’s arm, a bit afraid. Again, your insecurity appeared. “Can I steal you for a few minutes for an exclusive interview?”
Her gaze fell with a hint of disdain on your, as if your were an unnecessary part of the conversation she was trying to have with your husband. Immediately, he wrapped his arm around your waist and started making faces at Britta so she could help him to get rid of that reporter.
As expected, she refused, letting him know he would have to face an interview he didn’t want to do but that it was up to him whether or not he did it. She knew better than anyone what it was like to deal with the media and, especially, with professionals like the one in front of you.
“I’m sorry, Rose. I’m busy.”
“Come on, Sebastian... we’ve known each other for years,” she persisted, getting a bit closer to Seb. “You know it would be an amazing interview... like so many we’ve had.”
You were starting to get upset again. The only thing he did was placing a hand on your belly, and it somehow calmed you, but not for long. 
“Benson, I’m serious. The only conversation I want to have right now is the one I was having with my wife,” he said, calmly rubbing your back.
“You’re disappointing me, Vettel,” she snapped, leaving you both in shock. WYou’re missing out a wonderful opportunity to be interviewed, in private, with someone like me.”
After hearing that, tears once again covered your face. You took a few steps back, slight pushing him and positioned yourself next to Britta, who didn’t know what to do other than wrap her arms around you while Seb was still watching the reporter start scribbling something on a piece of paper.
“Here’s my phone number, Seb,” she said in an overly suggestive tone as she handed him the piece of paper, which he took. “Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider? We could find a more private place, and…”
As she got dangerously closer to him, Seb kept your eyes on you.
You hated how polite he was even though people acted in such a stupid way. 
“Rose, I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen,” you said again. “My answer, once again, is no.”
“Have you never wanted to explore curves other than those on the circuit?”
“Why are you such a fucking bitch?! The only curves he explores off the circuit are mine!”
The woman’s insinuations had pushed you over the edge. Several people were already looking at you, and you’d swear some were even taking pictures or videos, so it wouldn’t surprise you if you went viral on Twitter that night.
Benson didn’t know what to say or do after your insult, except to end the closeness she had created by moving away from your husband as much as possible, trying not to arouse suspicion from the onlookers.
“Y/N, I think it’s best if we go get some air, what do you think?” Britta suggested you.
“No, I don’t want to go get some air, Britta!” you shouted again, breaking free from Roeske’s careful grasp. You were worried about you getting this upset, but you didn’t care at all. This wasn’t good for the pregnancy. “I want to tell this stupid journalist to learn to do her damn job properly and stop meddling in marriages!”
“Excuse me? Are you calling me a cheater?” she retorted, clearly offended. “You need to learn to control what you say, dear. You’re going to get yourself into more trouble if you keep this up.”
You were getting more nervous than hearing Seb during the press conference, you’d swear.
“Yes, you!” you snapped, moving further away as Britta tried to take you out. She must have noticed how pale you had gone. “Do you think Seb doesn’t have a girlfriend? Well, surprise! He married me last June and we’ve been together for nearly seven years, and we have a daughter, and...!”
The index finger on Seb’s lips was what made you stop from revealing your third pregnancy or who knows what else. Your expression revealed him that, although he had done the best to make you shout, at that moment you only wanted to kill him.
Britta began to guide you more quickly towards the door to get out of there, but your words still could be heard despite the distance with a frustration that was more than obvious. There was a point in your life when you started saying what you wanted, fought for what you believed was not fair, and you stopped being intimidated or afraid of anything or anyone.
That’s what probably made Seb fall in love with you more and more every day, even he actually thought it would be impossible.
When you finally left, Britta handed you a bottle of water and started to calm you down, but you just couldn’t relax. Now, you were still nervous and actually worried about what Seb could be saying to that woman. His body expressions, the ones you were seeing from distance, didn’t calm you as much as you thought, and when she handed him a piece of paper you completely lost it and, once again, started crying, leaning on a wall.
A few minutes, later, Seb approached you while you saw Britta leaving you two some space.
“Hey, Y/N, I’m so sorry about what happened there. I should’ve handled it better,” he started, his voice full of concern.
“Seb, it’s not your fault. She was way out of line,” you said, your voice trembling while trying to calm yourself down. 
He pulled you into a tight hug, your body relaxing slightly against his.
“We’ll get through this, together, like we always do,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head, hoping to soothe your nerves.
His gaze meets your tear-filled eyes. Gently, he took your hands and started caressing them with his thumbs, knowing how much it relaxed you in moments of distress like this.
"Thanks for taking care of her for me, Britta," Seb said, turning around to thank your second mother once more for looking after you and sparing you any trouble.
You wanted to say something to him, but as soon as Seb turned his back again you, he got closer and closed the distance between you two, pressing his lips to yours. 
You ended up forcing yourself to pull away not because you might get horny,because you're not used to showing affection in public unless it's a completely special occasion. The world knows you only hold hands lightly or maybe kiss on the cheek, out of respect for your profession and, above all, so that people see you as an engineer and not just a WAG.
Private moments were exclusively yours, and no one beyond your loved ones and yourselves needed to know about them.
"What's that about, Seb?"
You were too surprised, feeling a wave of emotions invading you. 
"The thing with Rose, or the kiss?" he asked innocently.
"Both," you replied shortly, then corrected yourself. "Sorry, it's just that girl made me feel like..."
You couldn’t continue. You put your hands over your face, but Seb pulled them away. There was no need for you to hide from him: he knew how you felt, and all he wanted in those moments was calming you and making you aware that there was no need for you to feel ashamed about anything.
"I only want you, Y/N," he brought you even closer and started touching your belly again, but now with more discretion. "In this, and a thousand more universes, and beyond life, whatever it is, and no matter what happens, I will always love only you. Just you, Y/N."
"Do you really love me? Even though I'm fat and ugly like I am now?" you wanted to know, doubting yourself as you focused on looking at your body up and down.
He chuckled softly at your comment. You weren’t not fat: your belly was just a slightly bigger than usual despite being in the first trimester because of your natural anatomy. 
"You're neither fat nor ugly, darling, but it's normal to feel that way," he comforted you. "You're experiencing changes, so don't overthink, Y/N. You’re a superhero: you’re creating a whole baby in there"
"But I just... I feel like a bomb of emotions. I feel so... so stupid and contradicting myself all the time..."
"It's the hormones," he interrupted you. "Don't press yourself for feeling that way. Do you remember when you were pregnant with Emily?"
Before he could say anything else, he made sure that, aside from Britta, you were alone in the hallway. Seeing that no one else was around, he kneeled down and brought his face to your belly. He placed both hands on either side and started kissing it, causing you laugh.
"Hello, my little girl. How are you doing? There's a long way to go, but mom and I are so excited to meet you, as well as your big sister, who really wants you to be born just to play with you."
You know the baby couldn’t hear you, but you felt so happy Seb was trying his best to make you a little happier.
"Stop, sunshine," you started saying, taking his arms to make him stand up. "Seb, seriously, get up. They're going to catch us!"
There was no one around, and he even double-checked to make sure. However, he decided to listen to you to avoid making you more nervous. At the same time, Britta nodded for you both to follow her. Seb took your hand and followed her steps.
"Seb..." you started speaking with some doubt.
"What is it, love?"
"Why did you say my little girl before?”
He turned hid head towards you. He saw you blushing and looking a little lost.
"Because I know it's going to be another girl," he confessed to you, leaving you a bit puzzled. "I don't know why, but it seems, and I truly believe, that making girls is our specialty."
"I think it's going to be a boy, but it makes sense: the other baby was also a girl..."
You forced yourself to stop talking. You didn’t usually talk about the miscarriage you had about two years ago, at sixteen weeks pregnant, and although you had made great progress after nearly making an irreversible mistake, it still hurted.
They say you learn from mistakes, but if you had seen the clear signs of the person who ruined your lives and had taken measures much earlier, things would have been very different.
"How about we make a bet?" he commented, trying to change the subject while now wrapping his arm around your waist. "If it's a boy, I'll take you on vacation wherever you want."
"And if it's a girl, like you say?" you wanted to know.
"Then I'll take you to dinner at your favourite restaurant. The one you always want me to take you whenever we go visit your family."
You looked at him strangely, knowing perfectly well that what he said wasn’t really a bet; in fact, it's anything but a bet. Adding to that, his voice sounded so calm that it might have surprised you with his passivity.
Britta and Antti look at you both as Seb helped you to enter the car, as if they wanted to know what you were talking about. You look that he shook his head at them and immediately started laughing.
"And what are you laughing at now, Sebastian?" you snapped at him again as he sat next to Britta. "Are you trying to mess with me, or what?"
"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"
The whispers from his training coach, who clearly wanted toknow what was going on without appearing nosy, made him laugh even more. He didn’t even answer him and directly looked at you:
"Start thinking if you want to go to Cadiz or Mallorca, and if you prefer a McDonald's burger with pickles and ice cream with ketchup and fries or your aunt's wiener schnitzel."
Your eyes lighted up with excitement. You knew that he was making you decide, but in the end he’ll do all of that, and more, for you. Seb was the best partner ever and took care of you amazingly, especially when you were pregnant or struggling with your mental health. 
"I hate that you know me so well, Seb," you ended up saying, taking some candies from Britta's hand. "But I'm sure you don't know what's on my mind right now."
Of course he did, he knew you too well. You were just being horny, and your face showed.
"Y/N, I really appreciate you all," Roeske began to say as she looked at both of you, "but please: stop acting like you know what in front of us. Can’t you contain yourselves for ten minutes and then do whatever you want when you’re alone in your hotel room? Really, I’ll take care of Emily and I'll even stay all night listening to loud music on my headphones so I don't have to hear you moan all the time. Agree? But please: behave, kids."
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diejager · 6 months ago
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Please!!! I need more of Beta Reader x Poly 141 please!!!
Or maybe an Omega went feral of an alpha who try to do something to her and she went FERAL???
Cw: pack dynamic, Beta!reader, fluff, tell me if I missed any.
You groaned beside Gaz, walking into a crowded room with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. It smelled of rut and aggression, adrenaline laced high and drunken thrill pumping through the pulsing veins of alphas who called this bar home. It was a pungent smell, nose clogging and headache inducing to your sensitive sense. Perhaps you should have wore a blocker like the three others did, betas often had no use to one since their - and by extension yours - noses weren’t as keen or sensitive as the others secondary sexes. Betas couldn’t scent any amount of pheromone or musk, but you were the unfortunate one born with a rare disability —or so most betas considered a disability that negated their clear-minded conscience.
Logic over emotions, the mind presided over the heart of betas. It was what made them essential in a population where the leading figures had moments of hyperactivity and extreme emotional imbalance. Gaz didn’t have any issue following his expectations, cool-minded, gentle and caring, and emotionally dependable. There were such a drastic difference between him and you, grumpy, emotional and suffering from a perpetual scent-inducing headache. He could stay level-headed in all and any situation, but you caved to anger and irritation if the smells became too much. 
He was an examplary beta, yet he always praised you ad encouraged you to join them, a warm palm on your back, or a firm grip on your shoulder, Gaz was a steady rock you learned to lean onto. He was less volatile than Ghost and Price and less excitable than Soap. It almost made you loathe how comfortable he was with everyone while you still stuck out like a sore thumb after months under their care. 
And it didn’t help that Soap had managed to convince you - coerced, you mumbled - to come drink with them. The bar was packed, filled to the brim with alphas, omegas and betas, most patched with blockers over their noses, but their scent glands still stank under the thick, patchy blockers on their necks and shoulders. Price led you to their designated booth, seemingly promised to them by a higher power. They sat and chatted, boisterous words shared between Gaz and Soap while Ghost loomed over the table to your right, taking the seat at the edge in guardianship. They soaked in the comfortable familiarity: the warm lights and brick walls of the pub, the low music and loud chatter and clatter of glass. 
It was all something that would usually make someone relax and calm or happy, but it only made you squirm in your seat, occasionally bumping into Ghost to your right and Soap to your left, squeezed between two big men that smelled so strongly. It made you slightly nauseous, enough to feel a pang at the back of your head, but keep you conscious. You sighed a fourth time, shifting once more, when Ghost placed his hand on your thigh, his palm so big and hot grounding you and keeping you still to his wandering and worried eyes. 
“You all right?” The rumble of his voice had lowered to an accommodating tone, considerate of your growing aches, “Do you need a moment?”
You shook your head, mumbling a soft ‘no, thank you’, reassuring his worry and nodding to the table where Price just arrived with drinks in hand. Ghost reached for both his and your drinks, leaning into you and bathing you in his scent, the woody musk coating you in a soft layer of comfort. You were truly fortunate that their scents were the least irritating you’ve ever encountered, soft and comfortable compared to the grating and annoying musk of other teams you’ve worked with. 
Thanking Ghost for the drink and flushing lightly after Soap had leaned over and pressed his nose to yours, smiling cheekily at Ghost, you hypothesised that perhaps you could end up liking such outing and spending more times surrounding by them.
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