#i tried treating myself to something nice
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zeondraws · 2 days ago
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It is 4AM in the morning, I should hit the bed asap. But I needed some time on my own tonight, because I've been supressing feelings way too much the past months. (Thought post about random thoughts, no clue if they make sense it's 5AM when I post this)
I found it really hard to talk to friends about my emotions as of recent. One reason might be, that I still suffer some pain I endured from the old work enviroment.
Somehow I often just want to be left alone, I feel very drained most of the time. But that often leads to a loop effect and I isolate myself further.
Like, at the old workplace I was expected to do something constantly, if I wasn't working on anything for over 3min I'd get scolded or yelled at. Or my coworker would become an adult baby and behave strangely. The other coworkers never saw anything wrong with him, so I was extremely afraid that everyone else had something against me. My old boss would side with him from time to time. The constant demand to stay productive was so draining.
In the end I got replaced, I mean I thankfully found a new job by then. But a new person came in, another inexperienced young person who seemed nice and all. Not sure how she is doing in that place, either she fits right in, or my coworker is making her endure the same pain, or he just overworks himself as he usually does. A person who had my job before I came, became extremely demotivated there and simply left to another workplace.
I try to explain this a bit to highlight some difficulties I am experiencing atm... I don't talk to family about my feelings that much. I tried but, they get easily offended if I vent too much. I have no called my dad back in a while, I already know when I call him back he will only be offended. Or maybe I am spiraling rn. My head makes things appear worse than they actually are.
You guys see how much stuff I have been doing on tumblr the past months or so. I don't remember how long it's been, but... I am still in this mindset of constantly working and staying productive. I rest when I can but I always get the feeling "I have to stay productive" and work on stuff, even when I am sick. In a way it helps to not fall into thoughht spirals, tho then I don't give myself enough space to rest.
I don't know what my end goal with this endless productivity is supposed to be, I want to be helpful in some way and feel like I belong somewhere. But even right now I feel like something is missing... I can't grasp this thought, I don't know what my end goal is. Been messing with fmodel so much to get the game work on this for datamining, I posted a thread on the fmodel server and they said the game is fully working with it. Which suprised me, that I was able to achieve that. Was I the first one to do so? I always thought there is someone better than me already. I often just think I will be some replaceable object, where someone else just takes my place. And this thought... spirals in a way- where I think very less of me. Stuff like I will be forgotten anyways or hmm someone better comes.
My family treated me like an object at times, not letting me decide what to do. Old coworker did the same and I am expected to just agree to everything they say. I tried extremely hard to fight back at the old workplace but I was always met with a wall.
Sometimes I would struggle venting to friends, because when I felt the lowest I get very clingy. I think when I saw Muir in game I noticed some similarity in him in me for example. Even tho I hate to admit that thought, but I have gotten way better at being less clingy. Maybe it's because I grew up a bit more. I definitely ain't the same like 4 years ago. But not to sidetrack too much... sometimes I would vent to friends and they'd bombard me with advice or, maybe some advice felt off for me. One friend once said that we're replaceable (job related) and that didn't sit right with me. Some of this advice would put me off so much that I would stop talking about my feelings with anyone, or just one small friendgroup. But I don't mention a lot there. I think... I think what I can see with myself is, I distance myself so much from everyone, I don't dm people to have a normal chat (I think I get very confused when I hear people dm each other all the time, what do people dm each other for...?I wouldn't know what to talk about), maybe I hang out on servers. I don't want to look at my main phone because suddenly so much makes me nervous again. I want to be alone the entire time and the meds stop some emotions from popping up.
So I have random outbursts where I would cry. and I really need to sit down after sleep and find a new group therapy.. today
I put ridiculous standards on myself sometimes, not wanting to appear weak and appear "professional". But my imagination of being professional is basically be emotionless and work without problems. Tho this doesn't make sense, perhaps I worry too much since I noticed some people really like what I do here. And I don't want to let people down in that regard. but I don't know how.
Earlier I was debating on wether it is strong if I show my weakness or if it's better to hide it. Tho hiding doesn't bring much for me, it's rather bad.
Yknow an earlier post where I mentioned I really like Roper? I get the feeling one of the reasons I find him interesting is, because the way he appears. He doesn't seem to show emotions that much, rather monotone and seems to be a hard working individual. Who sadly needs to do way more because Rennick makes things more difficult. Tho like, even if you see him in Marine Control later... he just suffers in silence. Ain't like Trots who went full bananas, or Muir feeling extremely anxious and all. Or Addair wanting to call his kids and Rennick just flat maniac. Roper just, sits there and tries to avoid saying much. Only thing he says is to keep Rennick away. Maybe the deleted soundfile of the scene says otherwise, but in my view it feels like idk he just ain't somebody who would talk about his feelings. Maybe Roper is some visual imagination of what I think a professional is, but I think he probably has different problems that could be way worse. Suppressing feelings is not good, I still have a lot to work on, on myself.
I am sadly getting too tired to continue this string of thoughts...I always feel very awkward posting my feelings on the web. I wouldn't know where else to thow them.
I will post something silly after sleep. I made some dumb screenshots ingame that literally made me giggle for half an hour ioudhwioeu. Okay, goodnight
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low-budget-korra · 2 days ago
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My comments on Arcane s01
-Vi is the sister I wish I had, fr. And as an lesbian older sister myself, it wasn't hard for me to connect with her from the very first episode.And now that I've watched the show, I don't understand how some people blame her for wherever she did to Jinx. Yeah, Jinx was just a kid but guess what, so was Vi. Jinx lost everything? So has Vi.
"but Violet abandoned Powder" No! She was protecting her lil sister. And she just saw her sister murder their entire family, how y'all think she feels? And she was about to save Powder before she was kidnapped.
And the fact that she manages to be so soft and good besides everything she went through... Vi is THE exception.
-Powder/Jinx was just a kid and all but damn. Vi forgives it all she has done, and in the one time Vi needs her forgiveness, she's so quick to hate her for good. Did she really realize what she had done?
Well, now I see why some people compared her to Azula. The difference is that Azula never had anything like Vander or Vi, Jinx had that and still went nuts. And also, Azula never goes for the murder, not really when it was expected (like when she was betrayed by Mai and Ty Lee). While Jinx would give 2 shits about kill people for funzies.
Yes, I feel sympathy for her, just as much as I feel anger towards her. She is a complex character that's for sure. And mentally ill
And my hate for her is mostly for the way she treats Vi honestly
Anyway, there's this joke on Brazilian fandom that Jinx is homophobic and that's why she can't stand Caitlyn and can't stand seeing her with Vi, and I think it's honestly hilarious
-CaitVi is a wonderful ship. Nothing against the explicit and big gestures such as kissing and all but damn, I missed the subtlety. The minor and meaningful touches, the gazes...it reminded me so much of Korrasami
-I loved Jayce and Caitlyn's relationship. When united, gays and lesbians are strong.
And I still don't get why people keep pretending Caitlyn actions on s2(as far as I saw in the trailers) aren't justified. Her mom was murdered by the people she tried to help, if it was me, I would also raise hell upon them. Anyway, let's talk about s1 Caitlyn and she is just so adorable.
She really wanted to make a difference, to help. She got out of her bubble and got a taste of the real world, and I bet it hurt. She just wanted to help and to do what's right but she paid the high price and has all the right to me mad at s2
And from the way she flinched at Jinx during the "dinner" scene, at bet the hours she spent under Jinx mercy weren't nice
-Im sorry, I didn't care much about the hextec plot. I know it's important and it's what makes the character on the road but their inner struggles and their subplots are far better to watch.
The only interesting part of them was Jayce cuz he is such an interesting character. For the way I've seen people talk about them, I thought he was gonna be the worst but no. You can see he struggles with some decisions. He ain't bad, he just does bad decisions
-Ekko is such a G man. If something happens to him in s2, I will riot. I like how he is the exact opposite of Jinx.
Ekko also lost everything and everyone, but instead of Jinx, he turned his pain into something good, into helping others the way Vander and Benzo helped him and the other kids.
I wasn't expecting him to be friends with Heimerdinger but I love that for him
-Lets talk about something serious, Jinx was right in her anger towards the upper class but blowing things up was not the answer. Vander knew and saw things how it was, making deals is better than having innocent blood in the streets.In fact, I saw a lot of simplified comments about the politics and social aspects of Arcane and now that I've watched the show I see how damn immature and naive a lot of them are.
Do not get me wrong, we should rebel every time we need and violence is a part of that. No revolution happened without it. But we should be wise about the battles we pick.
Let's look at Caitlyn for example, she is born rich and a good person. It's naive to expect someone born with everything and disconnected with the lower class problems and needs, to all of sudden be an ally to social causes. Born rich and privileged doesn't necessarily mean you are born a bad person, just as much as born poor doesn't automatically make you a good person.
Now, do you think Caitlyn deserved to lose her mother like that? Do you think she deserves what Jinx did to her just because she was from Piltover? That's when you lose potential allies and gain strong enemiesIt's not that simple. Social problems such as class differences, poverty, violence...it's not something that you can fix that easily. Oh man, I wish it was but it ain't.
With all that said, Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Ekko, Vander...none of them are evil and most of their actions (if not all of them) have a solid reason behind it, but this doesn't mean they were the best thing to do.
-Fuck you Silco. He is what happens when you put a "wherever it cost" mentality, cuz sometimes the cost is high. Too high. Also, he doesn't want justice or revenge, he wants power
-The animation and sound design is a masterpiece too. And the fight choreography? Damn shit was fire
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heybabybird · 1 year ago
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man what do you do when your depression is so bad you can't function and your emotions are overly sensitive h. it's been. full week of this? or more? i don't know but i feel horrible, i can't stop feeling horrible. i can't do anything and i can barely move :(
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ineed-to-sleep · 3 months ago
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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floral-hex · 8 months ago
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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the-acid-pear · 1 year ago
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Okay I'm home now and i can fully and freely type. Anyway mild spoilers for into the spiderverse i guess?
❌❌❌
Anyway uh. Yeah it... It was a tiny bit of a disappointment. It didn't do it for me at all. I feel like this movie is more of an art exhibit and i mean that as a fucking insult. Like sure the animation fucks my ears are ringing and my head aches horribly (that's on me for thinking i can be autistic and watch this on theaters) but like, the story man? It just so much (DEROGATORY).
It commits the sin a lot of spiderman movies make and that is that it bit more than it could chew. Not because they're bad at handling a complex story, but because they tried to juggle like 5 at once. And that never fucking works (my ear is still ringing and it hurts I'm in pain rn -_+ just wanted y'all to know)
Like it introduced SO FUCKING MUCH and it all was cool yeah! Just like electro was cool, and Harry, and Gwen, and captain Stacy. You know what in trying to fucking say? There's only so much you can do in 2 hours and you can just throw all you have all at once at the viewer because all you'll do is leave them disappointed wanting for more of that.
I feel like a baby. They show me this cool thing but nuh uh! Enough of that! Here's this new cool thing! But nuh uh! Enough of that- and so on. Like there were so many cool characters and ideas and concepts and shit but it could barely balance it all. YOU KNOW HOW BAD I WANTED TO SEE MORE OF THE SPOT?! HE BARELY WAS HERE!
It's like, you cannot fucking make a whole movie as the introduction to your next movie. That just sucks. You're setting yourself up for failure.
Like I'm just so upset bc it was full of amaizing things but it didn't fucking deliver in any of them!!!! And God don't get me started on the references. I think this was one of the worst ways to fill your movie with references. Like at least let me fucking process what I'm seeing if you are gonna waste so much time here, but also just... Don't make it so fucking blatant.
Like man i... This was a very experimental spiderman movie which i appreciate in a way but... It's not what I was expecting. To me, personally, it was disappointing. And also not designed at ALL to watch on cinemas. I think that last bit is just a fact.
I'm just kinda sad man. Like i loved Miles and Gwen's drama and i loved Miguel but I also wanted to see more of, you know, THE WHOLE FUCKING NEW CAST AND THE NEW FUCKING VILLAIN THEY INTRODUCED BUT SHOWED ONLY FOR LIKE 2-3 SEGMENTS MAX???????
LIKE HANDS ON HEAD EMOJI WHAT WERE THEY DOINGGGGG 😭😭😭😭
#luly talks#im sorry to the people who loved this movie i am so upset#on funnier news i found the spot is called la mancha in spanish which is funny bc mancha is what we call a common kids game#in fact i remember that the english name for that is tag we call that mancha#LA mancha#btw i did love Miles' mom having more of the spotlight it was like a little treat for us latinos fr#also. the amount of cop stuff was a bit too much. i wouldn't call it pro cop like some idiot i saw the other day but it. like. hm. y'know?#like this movie feels like an art project something you'd see the fans do and if they did you'd allow the imperfections#but it was made by an studio and there were expectatives in the table like it. it just doesn't stand on its own at all#I WANTED MORE OF PAV AND HOBBIE MAN. I FUCKING DID. HOBBIE ESP I HAVE A CRUSH ON EM#they/them too right? didnt really hear it well but I'm sure i heard em be called they#i will say tho i loved the pear shaped spiderwoman that was super cool#i did literally joke about being too fat to make a spidersona b4 watching the movie and sure she was a woman i aint but it was nice anyway#but yeah it just. it tried to chew more than it could bite. the spot was so cool tho#the spot and hobbie are my guys i love them#man I'm just sad i really am im repeating myself bc im too overwhelmed to retain thoughts so idk if im being clear but like#this movie had a LOT of good things but it delivered on nearly NONE of them#like just commit! you want this to be a story about Miles sure do that but just focus on him and that's it#dont throw in so much and leave us yearning for more bc now we have the old cast AND the new cast both and we barely saw any of these new#ppl interacting we barely fucking know them#anyway just SAD man
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 28 days ago
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Delighted to say that I fixed my illness through normal means, which were not what I tried first
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merkerlerspeaks · 4 months ago
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Zodi/Celeste/Raine is somehow both my baby and also the girl my inner little weird girl looks up to so much she adopts parts of her as her personality
#Making Zodi so into entomology got ME into it enough that I got over my phobia of bees#And now things that I think first that she would like I end up liking myself a bit more than I have in the past#like green apple and coconut smells#Instead of basing your OC off your personality....base your personality off your OC LOL#I'm kidding but seriously the adult version of her I have planned would be the absolute coolest friend to have I think#I think creating her I just took a lot of traits I admire and smashed them into one character#She loves being feminine but she's also super tomboyish#She's wicked smart both in street smarts and academics#She has an ambiguous enough tragic backstory and affliction that anyone with a chronic illness#mental health issues#or has done something horrible and regrets it so so much#would be able to relate to her (symbolically at least)#She's a weird girl with weird interests#She's loyal near to a fault#She can treat most afflictions because her ADHD butt has a special interests in medivial/magic medicine#But she is also far from perfect because she does things WRONG and suffers for it#and tries to right it#And suffers with a lot of jealousy problems and some anxieties#She gets angry and bottles up that anger sometimes till she lashes out#But she's also super forgiving because she KNOWS how doing things you regret feels all to well#Idk I just love her#Im thinking about her and she is by far my favourite girl#I've seriously considered taking her and using her in another story#Like she would still be a Tangled OC but at the same time....I'd also take the exact same character#and build a nice story for her to star in bc she is my baby and something I like this much really should have its own thing#Oh I forgot to mention too that I just really like that she doesn't have much focus on things like kids and romance#Like yeah she COULD she has nothing against it but....why tho?#She could take it or leave it. She doesn't need it so she focuses on her own things.#And I also love that I can like her so much and not be trying to ship her with anyone#that's one of my favourite features about her
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tradgedyinwaves · 2 months ago
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Poly!141, knowing your ex didn't give you the time of day unless he wanted something and refusing to be anything like him. Ghost! who makes sure your lunch is made so that you don't have to worry about it in the morning before work. Price! who makes you dinner when you come home every night and it's always something you like and didn't have to ask for. Johnny! who has taken notes in his phone for your order at every restaurant and memorized which locations are your favorites
Gaz! who insists on doing the grocery shopping and always grabs a little treat for you.
Ghost! who knows how to fold the laundry and insists on helping you which inevitably ends up with him doing it all and sending you off to relax.
Price! who notices when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and instead of holding it against you, tries to lighten your mood with your favorite snacks and movies.
Johnny! who dotes on you when you're sick with no regard to his own well being, keeping you on a regular schedule of medication and not letting you leave the bed for anything other than showers and bathroom breaks.
Gaz! who knows exactly which tampons and pads you need when your period comes, weighing you down in snacks, pain meds, and massages
Of course, you never want for a good dicking either.
Ghost! who takes you hard and fast, edging you till tears stream down your cheeks
"Aw, don't look at me like that, luv. You'll get to cum...eventually"
Price! who has you in a mating press every chance he gets, whispering in your ear about how pretty you'd look with a belly swollen with his kid.
"Gonna put a baby right here, little bird. pump you so full it has to take."
Johnny! who is willing to try anything. You want him to fuck your ass? He's scissoring his fingers inside you expertly. You want to peg him? Absolutely, just be nice, eh?
"Fuck, lass. I think you fuck me better than the boys"
(and of course, you take that to heart and brag to the others)
Gaz! who will spend hours with his face between your thighs until your crying from overstimulation and trying to get away from his expert tongue while he drags you back to him.
"Don't run from me, pet. You're just so sweet, I can't help myself"
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raven-dor · 3 months ago
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me and my husband
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In which gwayne hightower is overprotective of his pregnant wife, and she begins to worry about the outcome of the birth
PAIRING: gwayne hightower x reader
WARNINGS: angst, anxiety, rough pregnancy, mentions of blood, arguing, fluff ending
WORD COUNT: 3.2k
AN: I read "chose me" by @entitled-fangirl and had to write something similar for gwayne!! this could also be read as part of the come back to me universe, but you do not have to read any other fic to understand the context!!
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She watched from the dark hall, her heart fluttering as he leaned back, exposing his neck and upper chest. Pregnancy awoke a dangerous animal inside her, one that needed her husband near her at all times. 
Instead, he sat in his office. 
She could not blame him; it was hard work, taking care of Old Town in place of his uncle’s absence. Seeing as his cousin had died recently, Gwayne would stand to inherit the Hightower title, and he all but jumped at the chance to begin his training.
But as of late, it seemed as if she needed him more than he needed her. Mere thoughts seemed to drown out her happiness, every attempt to block them futile. The larger she grew, the closer she got to the inevitable. She cleared her throat, making herself known to her husband. 
“Gwayne?” He looked up, smiling brightly. 
“My love! You should be in bed.” He stood up, ushering her over to a cushion. She glared, letting him coddle her for now.
“I am not inept.” 
“I know, darling.” He knelt in front of her, kissing her hand gently. “But you also know that I cannot help but worry for you.” He caressed her stomach, whispering. “And how is our little one?” 
“You have no need to worry, I assure you. The Maesters say the babe is perfectly healthy; there is no cause for concern.”
“And you?” He kissed her hand once more. “How do you fare?”
She was taken aback by that question, avoiding the question. “Do not worry about me.” 
“That is my job as your husband.” He walked back to his desk, putting out the flickering candle. “And Maesters are not always correct.” 
“That is a rather skeptical view.” She grabbed the handles of the chair, pushing herself up. Gwayne glared. 
“Please ask for my aid next time you plan on standing.” 
“Shall I ask you to help me relieve myself as well?” She glared back. “I love you; you know that I do. But I am not a frail piece of straw. I will not break from a gust of wind.”
“You are carrying the future heir to the Hightower name, my dear.” 
Terms like that make her uneasy. That is all she heard all day. ‘Future heir,’ ‘Hightower name,’ ‘a boy.’ All phrases she had heard over a hundred times. She just wanted a moment of peace where she was not reminded how little she mattered in this situation. A tight smile graced her lips, and she lost all humor in her tone. “As I am constantly reminded.” 
He grabbed her hand, walking slowly out of the office. “All I ask is that you take care. If not for me, then for the sake of our child.” 
“I am careful.” She glared. “You know this. It’s not as if I go looking for things to hurt the babe. Do not treat me like a child to be watched over.” 
He rubbed a thumb over the back of her hand. “I do not mean to upset you-” 
“Well, you have.” She scoffed. “You have somehow managed to insult my care for your future line and my child in one blow. It is astonishing, truly. I applaud you.” 
“You know that was not my intention.” He shut their bedroom door, removing his shirt. Y/N tried to keep herself from blushing at the sight, but when he looked like that, it was hard to do. He knelt in front of her, holding both of her hands in his. “I am sorry.” 
She hummed, walking away and sitting in front of her vanity. “Yes, well, I suppose I forgive you.” 
He grinned. “I am glad of it.” 
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The woods were peaceful, a nice retreat from the bustling of Old Town. Her velvet green dress dragging behind her. She hummed, closing her eyes and listening to the sound of the trees swaying. There was a lake nearby that she desperately wanted to swim in, and stare up into the sky of blue. Pushing the tall grass out of her way, the clearing stretched out before her, the lake at the center. She grinned, running down the hill with a newfound joy.
“Y/N? Where are you?” 
Her smile fell, remembering the whole reason she had even been ‘allowed’ to go on this excursion. He’d only let her go if he came along. She sighed, turning around and walking back up the hill. “Coming, my love.” 
The auburn-haired man smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Where did you run off to?” 
“The clearing.” She traced shapes on his chest. “I was thinking, perhaps you could join me for a swim. It is a perfect day for it.” 
“I-” 
“My lord.” Their guard’s voice echoed through the forest. Y/N groaned, falling against her husband’s chest. Gwayne kissed the top of her head, smiling sympathetically. “Another time, I swear to you.” She sighed, nodding. A finger hooked under her chin, his eyes serious. “You look far too melancholy, my love.” 
“Well, perhaps if-” 
“My lord, I’m sorry, but it is most urgent.” 
Gwayne sighed, intertwining his hand with hers. “What is it?”
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The Maester’s Wing was dim, with just a few candles keeping light. Gwayne had been summoned to settle a squabble between the townfolk, leaving Y/N to visit the old man herself. She tapped her foot, waiting for the Maester to ask her the questions she dreaded. But those questions never came. 
“My lady.” 
Y/N smiled, nodding. “Maester Jon, it is wonderful to see you.” She held her stomach. “Tell me, any developments my husband or I should be aware of?” 
“Unfortunately, yes, my lady.” He sat down. “It seems, from what we can tell so far, that the birth may result in a breach pregnancy.” Y/N’s blood ran cold, and she felt her breath catch. “A breach pregnancy may result in a choice needing to be made.” He leaned forward, a sympathetic look on his face. “Do you understand what this means, my lady?” 
She nodded, standing up quickly. “I do. Thank you, Maester Jon. I shall relay the news to my lord husband.”
She gave one last look at the dark corner before practically running out of the wing. She burst through the hall doors, dinner in full swing. There sat Gwayne, eyes drooping, visibly exhausted from his duties. 
Who was she to worry him anymore?
Y/N sat beside her husband, kissing his cheek. “How was your day, my love?” 
“Infinitely better, now that you are here.” He smiled. “How was the visit?” 
She took a large sip of her wine. “Well. All is well.” She grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. “I love you.” 
He grinned, squeezing back. “I love you much more, my dear.” 
If he chose the babe, she knew she would surely die from heartbreak before she bled. She laughed, her eyes watering. “I do not think that is possible.” 
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Since learning of the news, she’d been restless, barely sleeping and often waking before the sun. Its bright rays peeked through the curtains, hitting her skin. The warmth soothed her for a moment, but it was just that, a moment. 
The babe kicked harshly, a quiet groan leaving her. She stared at the ceiling, thinking that in just a few short weeks, she’d be giving birth in this very bed, staring at the same ceiling. 
It had always been described to her as horrible and painful beyond recognition. And now that she was carrying an heir, which could possibly be breach, she almost wished she could go back to when they first met and stop herself. When she didn’t have to worry about what she did or where she went, she could just be free. 
He would be pressured into choosing the child over her; she knew this. Sometimes, when the need for an heir was strong, women had been carelessly cut open, being left for dead. It had been done many times, most notably in her lifetime, by King Viserys. Rhaenyra had told her of his actions: how he’d carelessly cut Aemma open, and her mother bled out on the bed without ever getting to hold her babe. 
She looked over at her husband, fast asleep and dead to the world. His hair covered his eyes; his face was shoved into the pillow haphazardly. She giggled; he’d always slept like there was no tomorrow; it was heartwarming, to say the least. She leaned over, pushing the hair out of his face, kissing his forehead gently. 
 Rolling to her side, she quietly stood, careful not to wake him. Grabbing her robe from the wardrobe, she made her way to the dining hall, eager to eat something of actual sustenance. 
After learning of the news, she had picked at her dinner, telling Gwayne it was because the babe made her nauseous. 
In a way, it had. 
The smell of bacon and eggs flooded her senses, and she rounded the corner, the doors of the hall wide open. Greeting the occasional servant that passed by, she sat down, piling food onto her plate. 
“My lord.” Y/N looked up to see her husband stalking toward her, not even acknowledging the man who had greeted him. Odd, he normally slept as long as he could before starting his day. She smiled brightly. “Good morning, my love.” 
He raised his eyebrows. “Is it a good morning?” 
“Quite.” She tilted her head. “Why? Is something amiss?” 
He nodded, crossing his arms. “I awoke, and my wife was gone. Imagine my surprise.” 
She had felt horrible leaving him, and fighting would only give him more cause to choose the babe. “I am sorry if I scared you.” 
“You should be. And another-” He stopped, shock adorning his features. “You are sorry?” 
“I should have woken you. It was my mistake.” She pat the chair next to her. “Please, join me.” 
“I’m afraid I cannot. I have to meet with the steward this morning.” 
Her heart clenched. “I can join you if you’d like-” 
“It is not necessary. I will only bore you.” 
She murmured, reaching out to grab his hand. “You have never bored me.” 
“You are kind, but I’m sorry, I cannot be distracted.” He grabbed a plate, placing a biscuit and two pieces of bacon haphazardly.
She scoffed, glaring at her lord husband. “I did not realize I was such a distraction."
"Y/N...."
"Perhaps I should stay in my chambers for the remainder of my pregnancy. To keep you from further distraction.”
“That is not what I meant, and you know it.” 
She stood, her eyes cold. “I know nothing of the sort.” She looked over his shoulder, beckoning over a servant. “Please move my things into the adjoining room. I will be sleeping there-” 
Gwayne sat his plate down, looking at the servant. “Do not move her things.”  
“My lady?” The young girl looked frightened, scared that she was caught in the middle of their argument. 
Y/N sighed, dismissing the girl. “It is alright.” She walked away, yelling back at her husband. “I shall do it myself.” 
“Y/N!” Gwayne yelled, dropping his plate and running after her. “Come back here at once.” 
She ignored him, walking faster. The stairs proved to be a challenge, holding the railing tight. Gwayne placed a hand on her back. “Let me-” 
She flinched, pushing him back. “Don’t.” 
He mumbled. “You may hate me all you want after this.” 
“After what-” He hooked his arm under her legs, carrying her up the stairs. “Gwayne Hightower! You let me down right now!” 
The top of the stairs was a relief; she practically jumped out of his arms. She walked into their joint chambers, filling her trunk with things she would need. Gwayne sighed, watching from the doorway. “Will you please just-” 
“I will leave you to your devices, my lord. I hope your meetings prove well spent.” Dragging the trunk through the door, she slammed it in his face. 
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That had been three days ago. They’d seen each other in the halls and at meals, but other than that, Y/N steered clear of her husband. For the better part of the day, he’d been in a meeting with the patrons of Old Town, or so she’d heard. Y/N took that as an opportunity, rushing out of the castle’s gates. Squealing, she cut through the tall grass once more, racing down the hill towards the lake. She threw her dress off, her petticoat barely revealing her modesty. Not that anyone would see, this part of the wood was only known by the family. 
The water did wonders for her nerves, cooling her skin. Her hair stretched out past her waist, flowing like the tall grass that surrounded this oasis. She floated for what seemed like hours; the babe had not stirred once. She hummed, rubbing her bump gently. “It is quite peaceful here, is it not?” 
A kick. 
Y/N grinned, her eyes tearing up. “Please, try your best to make this an easy birth. It would break my heart not to meet you. If that is the case, don’t worry. Your father’s a good man; he’ll raise you well.” 
No kick. 
She laughed. “Do not ignore your mother. It’s quite disrespectful.” 
A kick. 
“I miss him too, my love.” 
A voice broke through the silence. “Miss who exactly?” 
Y/N jumped, standing in the water. “My lord, I did not expect you-” 
“I was in a meeting when a guard informed me you were running out of the castle gates.” His face looked conflicted, but she didn’t want to address the fact that he most likely heard that whole ‘conversation,’ so she remained silent. “Is there something you wish to tell me?” 
So he had heard. She smiled, trying to act as if nothing was wrong. “I do not know what you are referring to, my lord.” 
“Stop.” Gwayne sighed. “You haven’t called me that since before we were engaged, and I do not wish for you to start again.” He stepped forward, extending his hand. “Please come out of the lake.” 
She walked past his hand to her dress, every attempt to retrieve it proving futile. “Here.” Gwayne knelt down, picking it up off the stump. “What would you have done if I hadn’t been here?” 
“I would have figured it out, thank you very much.” She glared, pulling the frock over her head. “Do you not have another meeting to attend, my lord?” 
“I canceled them.” He laughed, stepping forward. “After I heard my wife was running away from our home, I thought it best to tend to the matter myself.” 
“How wise of you.” Y/N crossed her arms. 
“Shall we go to bed?” 
“I am not tired.” She walked up the hill, leaving him behind. “Have a restful night, my lord.” 
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She slammed her bedroom door shut, leaning against it. She was tired; she hated to admit it. But she wouldn’t have told him that. She walked over to the window, placing the bouquet she picked on the mantle. A reminder of the freedom she once had. A reminder of life before she faced death itself. 
A knock rang out. “May I come in?” 
She tensed. “If you must.” She faced the window, too scared to face him. If she looked at him, truly looked at him, she thought she would start crying. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” 
“I have to ask you something, and I want you to answer me honestly.”
She nodded, walking away from the window and placing her robe in her wardrobe. “Ask it then.” 
“Do you still love me?”
Her heart stopped. “I-” 
Gwayne stepped forward, wrapping a singular arm around her waist. He drew her in, his scent engulfing her senses. She fought herself not to fall for his spell, but as he leaned his head down, and his breath hitting her neck, she knew she would not last. “If you do not, speak it plainly because I- I cannot go on like this any longer.” 
She turned around in his arms, placing her arms on his chest. “I do not believe I could ever stop loving you. Trust me when I say this.” She smiled. “I’m afraid it’s terminal.” 
“Ah.” He let out a sigh of relief. “Then what is it that troubles you so?” 
“I do not know what you-” 
“I beg you, do not finish that sentence.” He tilted her chin up, worry in his eyes. “What ales you, my love?” 
“I am simply nervous.” She to be out of his arms. The longer she stayed in his embrace, the more compelled she felt to tell him. “It is nothing, I swear to you.”
He raised his eyebrows, pulling her hands from his chest and kissing them gently. “Please do not lie to me.”
“That night I visited the Maester, he told me something.” He nodded. “He said with the way the pregnancy is progressing, it is possible that the babe will be born breach.” Her voice grew quieter the longer she spoke. 
“That’s not all, is it?” 
She pushed out of his hold, walking to the other side of the room. “I’m so sorry, Gwayne. Truly, I am. Please forgive me-” a sob wrecked her body. “But I want to live. Please.” 
Gwayne shook his head. Where was this coming from? “Whatever are you talking about?” 
“I know I have been acting radical as of late, and I apologize, I just thought-” She hiccuped. “I thought it would make your choice easier.” 
“What choice, darling?” 
She whispered. “Between me and the babe.” 
“Why would I-” It dawned on him. Had she really been dealing with this all by herself? “Oh, my sweet girl. Why did you not tell me?” 
“I didn’t want to stress you any further.” She hugged herself. “Please, Gwayne. I swear I will give you another heir if this pregnancy-” She shivered. “Just don’t cut me. I beg you.” 
He dropped down in front of her, grabbing her hands in his. “Listen to me well. I could sire a hundred children, but you. You are one of a kind, and I will always choose you.” He kissed the back of her hands once more. “Irreplaceable. You must know this.” 
“Gwayne, no one is truly irreplaceable.” 
He stood, his eyes dark. “Do not say such things again. Swear it to me.” 
“I-” 
“Swear it, Y/N.” 
“I swear.” She whispered, cheeks red. “I swear to you.” 
He nodded, smiling lightly. “I’m sorry.” 
“For what?” 
“For coddling you.” He stepped closer, caressing her bump. “I am scared as well. My own mother had many a difficult pregnancy, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.” 
“I am sorry as well.” She placed a hand on his cheek. “I should have come to you with my worries. I did not want to burden you. And I will make sure you have your heir. I promise you that.” 
“I do not care if the Hightower name crumbles away into nothingness. As long as you are content, I will be as well.” He leaned down, their foreheads touching. “There would be no point to this without you. I fear I could not do this if you were not by my side.” 
“You have been doing perfectly fine as of late.” She winced. "I truly am sorry.” 
“No more of that.” He whispered, staring at her lips. “May we please go to bed?” 
She nodded, knowing if she tried to speak that words would fail her. She lay on the bed beside him, tracing his freckles. “Sleep, my love.” He wrapped an arm around her waist. “I will be here when you wake, I promise.” 
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luludeluluramblings · 4 months ago
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Smalltown!Neglected!Meta!Reader x Yandere!Batfam ☁️ Part Four
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Part One ☁️ Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Five ☁️ Part Six ☁️ Part Seven ☁️ Part Eight
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Warning: Obessive behavior, Yandere tendencies, su*c*de/death.
A/N: Finally adding warning labels. We’re getting somewhere. I’ve had some of this written out, but had to add some stuff in to drive it home. Reader’s coping skills are failing, but everyone’s starting to get obsessive. Also, I’ve been fighting myself on drawing art for this. (I’m a bit out of practice.)
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Reader has basically called befriending Damian and Jason a lost cause.
Bruce still avoids reader. And, everyone else is still busy with what Reader assumes is Batwork. (Which is fine, Reader is fine. It’s not like they’re stuck in the manor pacing the halls every damn day.)
Cass and Duke’s get back from their respective missions. They weren’t gone too long, but they’re come back a bit roughed up. They debrief with Bruce and then have to go back to being civilians.
Reader is waiting to comfort them. Not to confront them. Reader’s more concerned with how Duke has a mild limp and how Cass’s knuckles have some bruising than them ditching. Plus, reader is still not completely sure that her family is Gotham’s vigilantes. They need to confirm.
But, Duke and Cass both appreciate Reader checking on them and not asking questions. Cass suspects Reader suspects something, judging by Reader’s body language. But, it’s nice for someone who’s naturally soft to be soft with you.
Duke appreciates how Reader treats him so, normally. In a way it reminds him of his childhood, when things were easier. He has a normal friend now, completely mostly free of Gotham’s crazy.
Reader is happy their back, but disappointed that they won’t be going to the school gala. In fact, a few family members make comments about how it sounds like a waste of time.
Bruce, however, is actually happy Reader is excited. And, Reader gets even more excited when one of their new friends ask to be their date. Reader’s date is so genuinely excited about going to this Gala with Reader. (Uh-oh, that’s not good.)
Some of Reader’s other friends, the more haughty and wealthy ones, tell Reader that they should’ve picked someone more… refined. Which Reader defends that their Date is perfectly sweet and good looking to boot.
But, this leads Reader to decide not to tell anyone in the family about their date. They don’t want to hear the same thing from their Gotham family. Reader does inform BFF, younger brother, and Nana of their date. For some reason, BFF was a bit disgruntled, and even Nana tried to convince them it was probably best not to go. Younger Brother was encouraging reader to have fun. (But he was whispering into the phone, and asking Reader if he could come visit them soon. Please. People are acting weird here. Is everything okay, do you need me to come home. No. No. Don’t— It’s fine. I just wanna come visit you.)
But, reader was committed to going and enjoying their date and wearing their custom made outfit.
That night, Reader was given Bruce’s permission to get ready at one of their friends’ houses. Reader was practically spoiled by their friends, it was almost a bit overwhelming. Their date meet them at the Gala escorting them inside and having a wonderful time. (I hope it last. It’s not going to though. How sad.)
At the end of the night, their Date escorted them home. To end a near perfect night Reader got a kiss. A long and pretty heated kiss. Right in front of the Entrance camera.
Tim had pulled up the camera feed when Reader got home, at Bruce’s request, just to check on Reader. (He was going to do it anyway.) The entire family was winding down from Patrol in the Batcave when the feed came on. Leaving them all to get a front row seat to Reader’s little act of rebellion.
(That’s all this was, right. Just a little act of rebellion. This won’t happen again, obviously. They won’t fucking let it.)
Bruce is livid. It doesn’t help that Jason wolf-whistles to further enrage him. (Jason is making plans to break someone’s leg though. Possibly the Dates. How fucking dare they corrupt you, that’s his job.)
Stephane is honestly impressed, didn’t think Reader had it in them. (How cute! I wonder what we could get up to together.)
Duke, sweet Duke, didn’t want to see that. His (best) friend getting tongued down on camera. He’s going to need bleach and therapy. (Why would you do that? When you can just game with him. You’re his bro. Gross.)
Cassandra is… understanding. Reader has needs. Reader wants affection. That’s fine. But, not that one. Pick someone else. (Llet her pick, actually. You can’t read people like her, you need someone better. Someone you she can trust. She needs to approve of them first.)
Dick is more disapproving, but he understands. Still, this changes how he sees Reader. Sweet innocent helpless Reader has a wild side. (But still reader is clearly helpless, obviously they don’t know what they’re doing.)
It also changes how Barbara sees Reader. Or confirms. Barbara runs under the assumption that Reader is more like Bruce than anyone realizes. (She’s not wrong, but it’s not in the way she thinks.) Bruce is a bit of natural flirt, he just hides it in his ‘Brucie’ persona. Reader apparently takes after that. (Damian sure didn’t.)
Damian, is disgusted, disappointed, and disapproving. He doesn’t doubt Father will scold you, but your date needs to be dealt with and all other suitors as well. (He’ll take care of it. He’s your brother, that’s his job.)
Tim, however, is legitimately jealous. He wanted to see this side of reader first. He got a glimpse of it before, but he wants it for himself now that he sees the full thing. (Also, right in front of the camera? Did Reader know it was there? If they did, would they be okay with Tim filming them more? Just to observe, please.)
Tim immediately starts pulling up all the information he can about Reader’s date. Without Bruce’s prompting this time. Bruce does nod in approval before marching to the entrance. Intent on putting an end to this and giving Reader a firm talking to.
It goes, horribly. Date is forced to leave and Bruce tears into Reader. (What happened to the outfit I bought you? Why didn’t you tell me you had a date? I didn’t approve of this. I don’t care that you’re back on time or that you’re old enough, you’re my child! Mine! You get my approval first.)
Reader stays composed, barely. The good news is that the brutal scolding is the only consequence Reader faces. (Bruce is more upset about Reader not seeking his approval than doing something he disapproves of. He’s your father. He should have a damn say. Would you have done this to D̴̖̞͑̊̓a̷͎͗̇d̸̜͍̩̓̎d̸̪̩̟̆̎y̶̛̼̌? Why are you doing this to him?)
The bad news, Reader’s date’s life is over. With just a few clicks from Tim and approval from Bruce, Date’s family company falling apart. Reported to the government, lawsuits filed by third-parties. Hidden debts needing to be collected NOW. Any misfiled taxes? Found and reported. And, most importantly, all calls and ways for Date to contact reader again, blocked.
Socially and financially, Date’s life is ruined in less than twenty-four hours. Worst of all, Reader doesn’t know. They’re still on cloud nine about the night, despite Bruce’s lecture. But, come Sunday morning, two days later, things fall apart.
Date is reported dead. Apparent suic1de just the night before. The financial implosion of the family was named the apparent reason.
Reader is distraught, confused, and hurt. What happened? What’s going on? This can’t be happening. I don’t want to lose anymore people I care about. I don’t want to lose someone like Momma and Daddy again.
Reader’s Gotham friends console Reader, saying it’s not their fault. That Date struggled with thought before. Don’t blame yourself. (They weren’t worth your time.)
Surprisingly enough, it’s Dick that finds reader having a borderline breakdown.
Dick clings and coddles and coos, but this time. Reader clings back. Reader clings back tight. Desperate for comfort. Which is surprising for Dick.
Most of the family tends to brush off his attempts at comfort until they hit rock bottom. For once, this isn’t someone hitting rock bottom before they need him. This is someone that’s just genuinely sad and overwhelmed and needs wants him.
Dick also ran under the assumption that Reader was allergic to affection, like Damian and Bruce. But, apparently, that wasn’t the case. It’s a nice feeling. To have someone not fight him when he tries to be comforting. Someone who is happy to take it. Of course, he doesn’t stay long. Once Reader pulls themselves together he’s got to get back to Buldhaven, but this time he leaves a bit slower. (But, him leaving somehow makes Reader feel worse.)
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bleedingoptimism · 6 months ago
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“I’m sorry Steve, I thought we were just having fun! I enjoyed you taking me out and paying for everything that’s all…” Is what Shelley said to him when Steve walked into the bar and saw her flirting with another guy. 
Obviously, he smiled and shook his head, said everything was okay, ‘Just a silly misunderstanding’ and left, ever so graceful. But the second he was outside he cursed, tried not to shed a tear, failed, and then started laughing. 
He probably looks like a mad man, or a drunk. But no, don’t worry people, he’s not drunk or crazy, he’s just really, really stupid. He thought Shelley really liked him, he thought they were dating. And Shelley just assumed he was just another playboy so she played him back. He’s not even mad at her. She didn't mean to hurt him. It’s not her fault Steve is just so easy to hurt. 
Sighing, he gets his phone out to get an uber and hugs himself even though it’s not really that cold outside, waiting for his car, already imagining the big, greasy burger he’s going to order when he gets home. He deserves it, okay?
The car that pulls out has definitely seen better days, but it’s clean and comfortable so Steve doesn’t think twice about getting in. He offers the driver a smile through the rearview mirror, sparing a moment to notice his eyes are big and dark, and they crinkle when he smiles back at him. 
Steve sits stiff and straight for a moment before realizing no one is there to judge him right now and he deflates, sighing again and letting himself collapse against the seat. Still hugging himself to feel any sort of comfort, he bumps his head against the window softly a couple of times. 
“Long night?” The driver asks him in a friendly manner.
Steve meets his eyes in the rearview again and shrugs, smiling back crookedly “Thought I should go home early since I already accomplished making an ass of myself for the night”
He checks the uber app for the driver’s name, doesn’t want to be rude by not remembering. ‘Eddie’ chuckles at Steve's statement.
“You did, huh? Well good job on getting it out of the way then,”
Steve chuckles back, “Yeah, I was actually thinking I deserve a treat”
He notices Eddie looking back at him a couple of times before breathing an interested, “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Steve says, “A huge cheesy burger or something” Wondering what Eddie was thinking he’d say.
Eddie laughs again, “Oh! Right of course” and just when he’s about to say something else his phone rings.
“Oh, sorry” Eddie murmurs, immediately hanging up on whoever is calling. 
“No worries,” Steve mumbles back, sitting up a little straighter again. 
“So, what’s your favorite dirty burger place?” Eddie asks him. 
Steve can tell he’s trying to distract him from the mood he entered the car with and he really appreciates it.
He sits forward and leans his forearms against the headrest of the passenger seat, “Oh, there’s so many, but…” from this angle, he can see Eddie’s face better, and he can’t help but think he’s got a really nice looking profile, long lashes, full lips, and the cutest nose he’s ever seen, “I think Benny’s the best one” he finishes.
Eddie pulls at a stop light and turns to look at him with a smile and he’s so much prettier than Steve first thought he involuntarily gasps. But thankfully Eddie is talking excitedly and doesn’t seem to notice.
“No way you know Benny’s?! Benny is my uncle! Well, he’s married to my uncle actually- you know what I mean but yeah, Benny’s is great!” 
It’s such a weird coincidence that it managed to take Steve out of his stupor and he’s suddenly just as excited as Eddie,
“Really? Oh my god, I’m so jealous right now, I wished I could live at Benny’s sometimes” 
Eddie laughs, and just when he opens his mouth to reply his phone rings again. This time he doesn’t immediately hang up and Steve sees the screen light up with the name “you deserve better” 
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Ouch, he thinks, and his heartstrings tug for his cute, sweet, uber driver. Who offered him friendly conversation cause he noticed he was feeling down and has the most beautiful laugh. He doesn't really know why he feels so strongly about it, he doesn't even know Eddie… but he still feels the text is right. Whoever hurt him, Eddie deserved better.
“Hey,” He says softly when Eddie hangs up cursing.
Eddie sighs again, “I’m so sorry,” 
“Hey, no. It’s fine,” Steve replies, resisting the urge to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.
He figures, after the way his night started, he’s got nothing to lose so he says, “So much talk about Benny’s I feel like I need to go there right now.” 
Eddie let’s out a distracted “Huh?” and Steve soldiers on, “Wanna change the destination and join me? You can take me home after,”
He notices Eddie doing a double take and blushing, “Really? I- Am- I- okay” he stammers but Steve can’t really figure out why.
“Yeah, you know, that way you don’t lose time on the job and have another ride?” He finishes and Eddie laughs,
“Oh, right. Yeah That- makes sense”
They keep talking about their favorite things on the menu on the way there and soon they are sitting face to face in a booth at Benny’s.
What a pair they make, Steve in a three piece suit, jacket off, vest undone and shirt rolled up to his forearms. And Eddie with sweats and a hoodie. 
Eddie is even better looking in the shitty dinner light and the blush that adorns his cheeks ever since they came in makes Steve wanna kiss them to feel their warmth.
Benny himself comes to take their order, and Eddie gets up to hug him and introduces him to Steve. They already know each other, because Steve does come to the dinner often and Benny lets Eddie know that.
Eddie thinks it's hilarious that they both have been here so much and never saw each other before, but Steve can’t help to think it’s a shame.
“I actually would’ve loved to have met you sooner,” he tells Eddie at one point and watches curiously as Eddie’s blush turns a few shades darker.
As they eat, Steve tells Eddie about Shelley, about his hopes, about misreading the situation, about his shame. How he doesn’t even think he liked Shelley that much, but he just wanted to have something real. Eddie gets mad at him for blaming himself, tells him it wasn’t his fault, that he’s being too hard on himself. And it’s not a bad thing to consider but all Steve can think about is how cute Eddie looks when he’s mad on his behalf.
Eventually, Eddie tells Steve about whoever was calling him. 
“I met him at my last job. I thought he was so cool but turns out he was actually just cold,” Eddie shrugs, “We dated for like 6 months or something, not that long but, I was miserable the whole time and I didn’t even realize it was because of him.” 
Eddie’s hand is tearing up a paper napkin between them and Steve tentatively settles his hand over Eddie’s, who stops destroying the napkin and smiles gratefully at Steve, holding his hand back.
“The worst part is I didn’t even break up with him, he broke up with me,” Eddie chuckles self-deprecatingly, “But he still wanted to keep me around I guess… And I… didn’t want to feel lonely” 
They both stay quiet for a moment after that, and Steve stares at their hands joined over the greasy dinner table and thinks about loneliness, about how he doesn't feel it right now, with Eddie.
“So, what happened?” he asks after a bit.
“I did eventually realize he was the one making me feel like shit so I stopped seeing him but he didn’t appreciate my new sense of self-respect,” Eddie says lightly and Steve instinctively squeezes his hand protectively, which makes Eddie smile again, “I’m doing just fine now though, I told him to fuck off and got a new job. And it’s actually pretty good, ya know?”
Steve can’t help but smile back at Eddie’s cute expression, “Yeah?”
“Hell yeah, my own hours? Good money? Plus I’ve always liked driving around, it calms me. And I get to meet really interesting people…” he says, winking at Steve and making him chuckle.
“Well, I’m glad then. Proud of you for getting out of there,”
“Me too,” Eddie says and looks up as Benny walks over to them.
“Sorry to interrupt boys, but we are about to close for the night,” He says, stifling a yawn.
Steve looks surprised at his watch, it’s almost 2 A.M. He can’t believe he’s been sitting here with Eddie for hours when it only felt like a few minutes.
He offers to cover the bill but Benny fights him over it and says it’s his treat. And Eddie offers to take him home no charge. So they get in Eddie’s car again only this time Steve sits next to him instead of in the back and they talk about music on their way to his place while Steve changes the radio stations. Laughing, singing and joking around, it’s such a good time. It feels like they’ve been doing this forever, like they could do this…forever. But eventually they arrive at Steve’s building and suddenly Steve doesn’t want the night to end. 
He’s about to tell Eddie as much, maybe invite him inside, when his phone rings again, the ‘you deserve better’ staring at them. But Eddie immediately grabs his phone and hangs up, blocking the number after. 
“There, he can’t call me again,” he says with a sigh.
“Can I see your phone for a second?” Steve ventures, making a last second decision.
Eddie looks surprised but curious as he hands it over and Steve punches his phone in.
“If you ever feel like unblocking him, or calling him back… Why don’t you try calling me instead?” he says in a rush and then walks out of the car, not lingering to see Eddie’s reaction.
There’s always the positivity that he got things wrong again, got too invested too soon again and he doesn’t want to know tonight. He’ll deal with it later, if Eddie doesn't call.
🚗📱🍔💙
It takes only two days for Steve’s phone to ring, an unknown number flashing on his screen. He picks it up feeling a little out of breath for no reason at all.
“Hello?” 
“Steve?”
“Eddie, I”
“Wait- before you say anything I just want you to know that I didn’t call because I wanted to call him, or I was thinking about him. I called because I can’t stop thinking about you, I wanted to talk to you. Okay?”
“Eddie- yes! It’s more than okay, I- I was hoping you’d call”
fin 💙
☕🥐💕 coffee? oovoo javer?
1K notes · View notes
lqvesoph · 7 months ago
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She’s WHOSE daughter??? || LN4
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lando norris x webber!reader
summary: It’s race day in Australia…
warnings: smut, m receiving, swear words
This is the final part of this story, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy it!!
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
masterlist | taglist
Part 5
Walking into the paddock the next day felt weird. You arrived with your father but quickly made your way to the Red Bull facility, not having spoken to your dad for the whole ride.
Mark looked after you, hesitant whether he should talk to you or leave you be for the moment. He quickly decided on the latter when he spotted Lando hurrying into the paddock, moving quickly towards Mclaren and only fake smiling at a few fans.
"Lando? Can I talk to you for a second?", he called, making the driver stop in his tracks. "Yeah?", Lando muttered. "Let’s go inside, yes?", Mark gestured to the door and away from all the prying eyes of the paddock.
"I want to talk to you about Y/n because she- well, she didn’t seem that happy yesterday and I figured that because you and her have some sort of relationship and the way you two looked yesterday, it must have something to do with you", he explained, watching how Lando crossed his arms.
"Mark, I‘m sorry but-", he started. "You don’t have to apologize, Lando. I think I know what’s happening here", Mark spoke. Lando looked down and stepped from one foot on the other.
"I figured this was on her not on you. I like you, Lando, you’re a nice guy and I can see you treating Y/n very well. If you want, I can talk to her", Mark offered, making Lando shake his head tho.
"Thank you for the offer but I think I should do this myself", he smiled, Mark giving a small smile in return.
"She‘s at Red Bull at the moment", your father told Lando, smiling and squeezing his shoulder.
Lando was about to text Max to let him know he was coming over but was whisked away by his engineering team to talk about the upcoming race.
When he was finally let go, it was almost time for the drivers parade.
"Lando come on!", Oscar called before the Brit wanted to hush out of the garage. He squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance but followed his teammates out on the track.
*~**~*
Even after the parade, he didn’t have time to come and find you as he was swept away immediately after to go over some final strategy discussions, put on his race suits and drive a few laps before the race would begin.
Lando internally cursed every single person who talked to him but tried his best to not let it show on the outside.
After having pulled up on P3, he got out of the car and searched for Zak. "I‘ll be back shortly", he let him known, receiving a nodded and a hard pat on the back. "The National Anthem starts soon."
Lando nodded and walked back through the garage and to the hospitality. He spotted you in front of Red Bull, talking to Kelly and Penelope.
He took a deep breath and walked over to the three of you. "Lando!!", P called, being the first to spot him and run over to him. He smiled and the little girl and leaned down to give her a hug.
"I saw you and Maxie on the track!", she told him overexcited. "You did? Was it good?", he chuckled and the girl nodded.
Then Lando looked up, seeing how Kelly and you watched the two of them. He got up, finding your eyes with his. "Can I talk to you for a second?", he asked, fiddling with the race suit, hanging low on his hips.
You looked over at Kelly, who gave you an encouraging nod and then back to Lando.
"Yeah, let‘s go", you agreed, following him up to his driver room.
"About yesterday-"
"What happened yesterday-"
"Sorry, you go first", you mumbled, fiddling with your sweaty hands. Lando cleared his throat. "I‘m sorry for the way I reacted yesterday", he said, pausing for a second which you used to speak up.
"You don’t have to apologize, I am at fault here", you admitted. "I should’ve told you the truth. You were right, I had countless of opportunities to tell you but I panicked every single time and I‘m truly sorry for this and I hope you can forgive me."
You didn’t notice Lando having stepped closer until he lifted your chin up. "I get it", he whispered, having gone over the words Oscar told him the day before almost the whole night. Your eyes found his, not quite believing the words coming out of his mouth.
"You‘re not supposed to get it, I don’t even get it", you replied humorless. Lando chuckled, putting his hand on your cheek and pulling you closer.
"Can I kiss you?"
You nodded slightly, looking down at his lips and back into his eyes before he pulled you in. The kiss was innocent and soft. Lando put his forehead against yours and smiled.
"Oscar came to my hotel yesterday and explained your motives", he admitted. You pulled back to look at him. "He did?", you asked surprised. Lando nodded. "Convinced me to talk to you", he said. "Oh Osc", you muttered.
Lando grinned and pulled you back in for another kiss. This one turning quickly into more than the shy one from before.
His hands started to roam over your body, one of them pulling you closer while walking backwards until your legs hit the edge of the physio bed.
Your hands gently pulled at the strands of his hair before one traveled lower to tug the zipper of his suit down, letting one hand find its way into his pants. You gently stroke over his hardening dick, making him groan into your mouth.
Lando placed kisses along your jaw and collarbone, just as you cupped his covered cock he softly bit down on your skin. A moan escaped your lips.
Revengefully you decided to palm his dick harder, making his breath hitch in return.
"Love, I-", he was interrupted by a moan. "I really want to continue but-", Lando’s head fell forward to your shoulder but not for long because you turned the two of you around and slowly sank down to your knees.
A loud moan escaped his lips at the sight of you kneeling before him. His fingers gripped the edge of the bed while his right hand gathered your hair in a pony tail-like hold.
His suit was already down to his knees but you quickly tugged down the black fireproofs and underwear, making his hard cock spring free and slap against his abdomen.
His tip leaking some precum already which you collected with your fingertip and took an early taste. "Please- just-", he breathed heavily, making you smirk at Lando’s light begging.
You wrapped your hand around the base of his cock before taking the tip in your mouth, slowly letting more and more of his length disappear into your mouth.
Lando groaned at the feeling of your warm wet mouth around him, trying his hardest not to slam in your mouth. You slowly started bobbing your head, taking more and more of his length each time.
Tears brimmed in the corner of your eyes when his dick hit the back of your throat. "Taking me so well, love", he muttered, having closed his eyes. His hand holding your hair guided you up and down his length but never forcing you to take more than you could.
He could feel himself getting close, the sensation of your mouth and your breath hutting his lower stomach each time you breathed out, piling up.
"I’m close, baby. You wanna swallow it?", he asked and was given an agreeing hum as a reply.
His breath was quickening, the fingers in your hair loosened its grip while his moans and praises became an incoherent mix. He let out a deep groan before burying himself deep into the back of your throat, ropes of cum shooting down your throat. You continued your movements up and down his length a few more times before releasing his softening cock and glancing up at Lando.
An exhausted but wicked smile graced his smile as he dragged his thumb along your mouth to wipe off your salvia and his cum.
Lando then pulled you up and placed a soft kiss to your lips.
"When do you have to be on the grid?", you whispered. "Uhm… about 5 minutes ago", he chuckled but didn’t let go of you.
"Well then hurry!!", you called, slapping the back of his head and started to dress him up again.
Lando chuckled and pressed one last peck to your lips before disappearing out of the door.
With a bright smile you let your fingers trail along your lips and followed Lando out of the hospitality.
Going back to the paddock, you decided to watch the race from Lando‘s garage, being met with your father at the entrance.
"Where‘ve you been?", he asked, a smug smile on his lips. "Uhm, why?", you tried to get out of answering. "Because Lando turned up late for the national anthem and I know he‘s been wanting to talk to you", you dad replied.
Your eyes widened but you tried to keep cool. "Uh- yeahhh, we… uh talked", you lied and turned around to walk over to Lando‘s side.
But you father didn’t let you go just yet. "Y/n?"
You turned around again, waiting for him to keep going. "If you‘re happy with him, I am happy", he smiled. Your heart softened. "I really am, dad", you answered.
He nodded and then reached forward for your cap. "Take this off before you go over there", he laughed, taking it off your head.
You let out a laugh before walking over to sit on an empty chair.
Max, Lando‘s best friend looked at you with a frown but didn’t say anything.
*~**~*
You gasped along with the rest of the garage when Max‘s car started to catch fire, sneaking your phone out from your bag to quickly text Kelly, asking her if Max and Little P are okay. She assured you that Max was fine and P didn’t quite understand what was going on and was simply sad that 'her Maxie' wasn’t racing anymore.
Towards the end of the race, your heart started beating faster. You watched as the mechanics ran over to the fence to cheer on Lando and stood up to clap along with the rest of the team inside the garage.
You quickly made you way out of the garage to reach the podium area as soon as possible and to not be squashed by the mass of people heading down there now.
You reached the fence just before Lando pulled up in front of the board. He jumped out of the car and walked over to his team, hugging various papaya dressed members.
Max and Pietra stood a few people down the fence, both hugging Lando when he came to them. Lando took off his neon helmet. Max leaned in to shot some words at Lando, who then snapped his head over to you. A big smile creeping on his face and he pressed his helmet in Max‘s hands to walk over to you.
Your grin grew the closer he came and you wrapped your arms around his neck as soon as he was close enough. "I‘m so proud of you", you muttered, feeling his hands squeezing your waist. He pulled back to look at you, his eyes finding yours and silently asking for permission. You nodded, giving him the go ahead.
The curly headed boy smiled before placing a soft kiss to your lips.
You giggled as you pressed your forehead against his. "Go and do your interviews and stuff so you can come back here as soon as possible", you whispered and placed another kiss to his lips before shooing him away to the Crofty who was already waiting for him.
"Congratulations on P3, another podium! How was it?", the British commentator asked. "It was a very good day for us. I‘m very happy, very proud of the team. A P3 and P4 is a lot of points in the championship so that‘s a first thing. I think our pace was strong enough for a P2 today but Charles undercut us. But anyway Ferrari and Carlos did a very good job, so hats off to them, they’ve been fast all weekend. To be completely honest I didn’t expect to be on the podium but it’s a nice surprise so I‘m very happy", Lando answered.
"I expect you on the podium! You looked incredibly fast out there", he replied which Lando answered with a smiling thank you. "Do you feel confident going into the next races, maybe scoring a few more podiums?" "Yes, of course, I mean this circuit suits us a little bit more so I could just really push but it‘s still another step to Ferrari and Red Bull, at the minute they are a step ahead for sure but it’s clear we are getting closer and a day like today proves exactly that. So, a big thanks to everyone at McLaren", Lando said, waving at his team.
"We‘ve also noticed a certain Australian lady by your side", Crofty smiled, making a grin sneak on Lando’s face. "Yeah?", Lando sneakily replied, turning to face the screen behind him as a replay of your hug and kiss was shown.
"Next time get her to show up in your color though", the british commentator joked. "Hey, it‘s quite the success to not see her in anything Red Bull related", Lando laughed, making you shake your head with a smile.
"I‘ll let you go now, congrats on the podium, Lando", he laughed making Lando laugh as well. He quickly thanked him and handed the microphone to a sky worker before walking over to you.
"You‘re not wearing anything to represent papaya", Lando called over, taking his cap off, pushing it down on your head and pulling you in for another kiss. You grinned into it, placing your hand on his on the steel fence.
"Just know, Oscar, Max and Daniel are going to hate you for this", you muttered. "Osc never got me to wear that horrendous colour."
"Hushh!!", Lando protested, shutting you up with a quick kiss. "I‘ll see you later."
You squeezed his hand before letting him go.
Lando chuckled and made his way over to the FIA official who showed him the way to the cool down room.
You couldn’t contain your smile when Lando walked out onto the podium, throwing your hands in the air and cheering and clapping as loud as you could. When he spotted you, his smile grew a little and he gave you a little wave.
Your dad presented Carlos‘ trophy but stopped in front of Lando for a second.
"Take care of her, alright?", Mark said as he shook Lando‘s hand. A smile crept on the face of the Brit. "I promise, I will", he grinned, his eyes finding yours the second you father stepped to the side.
You cheered and lifted both of your arms to wave at your boyfriend on the podium.
Lando could help but laugh, almost missing when the person with the trophy came to him.
He took the trophy in his right hand and raised it in the air, pointing a finger at you with the other hand.
"I love you", he mouthed, making your heart skip a few beats.
📍Albert Park, Australia
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tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri, mclaren, ausgp
yn.adams: Weekend well spent
comments:
landonorris: My lucky charm🍀🧡
> yn.adams: 🧡🧡🧡
oscarpiastri: Hey at least I’m there once…
> fan: Oscar went from “Why am I only shown once??” to “at least I’m shown” CRYING LMAOOO
aussiegrit: Have I lost you to the UK now as well?
> yn.adams: Well…
> yn.adams: Maybe even Monaco as well🤭
maxverstappen: Do you want to make my day worse than it already is?
> yn.adams: I’M SORRY MAX
redbullracing: The betrayal…
fan: HARD LAUNCH
fan: Guys we lost her…
> yn.adams: Nooo, I promise you didn’t. Once a rbr girly always a rbr girly
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Thank you for the unbelievable support you all have shown me on this fic!! I hope you like the final part (even though it took my ass ages to finish) Stay tuned for more fics, you can always sent requests or just chat with me if you want/need to <3
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hvhvmoc · 11 days ago
Text
🖤🖤🖤
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Characters : Art the Clown (Terrifier), afab!reader
Warnings/CW : kinda slowburn, Art almost kills you on purpose, funny stuff, rough smut, wall sex, spanking, hair pulling, overstimulation, choking, pussy slapping, oral (f! Receiving), multiple orgasms, you pass out mid sex, Art is stumped and confused, you're ok tho, talks about blowjobs, bit of fluff at the end, tell me if I missed anything
A/N : I have nowhere to go this Halloween ☹️ just stay home, write and take photos of myself
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Its around midnight, you're in your kitchen cooking dinner. Usually you don't cook at midnight but you were busy all day and it just got pushed back. Plus, your boyfriend wasn't home yet. The infamous Mikes County Killer, Art the Clown. He was taking his usual time out there, spilling blood, guts, and pain, while you were home, working or being lazy.
You're surprised your still up with this much energy. You did wake up really late today, since you didn't have work that day. You took that time to organize the house, clean everything up, shower, maybe even trim your hair with a pair of random scissors you prayed didn't belong to Art- knowing what he does with them- and knowing that although he has okay hygiene, he doesn't properly clean his weapons like at all.
You switch between mixing and checking on the red rice, stirring the big pan of cooking chicken, stirring the smaller pan of cooking beef, and finally stirring the pan of cut up bell peppers, broccoli, corn, and onion. The rice finished cooking and so did the vegetables- the chicken and beef still needed some time- when Art busted through your front door, a scowl on his face, his leg and torso cut up a bit from (what you can only guess) a victim fighting back, and blood all over him. He drops his bag of weapons and goes to find you, the scowl not leaving his face.
That expression would've terrified anyone. But really, you were used to it. The more logical side of your brain knew it was only a matter of time before he treats you like any other victim of his; scalping, cutting, drugging, stabbing, torturing. But you decided to just play along with him. Maybe if you act nice and continue to treat him like this, he'll make your death less brutal. Hopefully. But truly you don't know. Nobody but him knows what's going on in his head. He's like a wild animal; sometimes you can get close and they look still- froze- waiting for you to get close and closer, before they pounce on you and attack. Brutally attack.
Art stands by you, not really doing anything but standing with the scowl on his face, staring at you. You smile and wave up at him, giving him a little "Hi baby", before turning your attention back to the food. There was silence, the only thing making noise being the food cooking.
You feel something cold on the back of your neck. You look up at Art and in the corner of your eye, you see his hand outstretched behind your neck. You can't really tell what it is he has but you will admit, it's scarring you. You tried not to show it though. You know Art loves when his victims show fear. If he has thoughts of killing you, fear will only fuel it.
He lowers his hand while you watch. Now you can see what he had pressed against you. A knife- which is probably the least painful object he owns for killing. You again, tried to show now fear. Your eyes didn't widen and your breathing stayed like before. But your heart is beating faster. That's something you can't control. You just showed confusion. Art drops the knife onto the floor- thankfully missing his and yours feet- and turn around, leaving and disappearing into your bedroom.
Once he leaves, you sigh. What the fuck was that? This isn't the first time he's pressed a weapon against you but it still shakes you up everytime. And maybe that's what he wants. You bend down and pick up the knife, throwing it in the sink. You continue cooking, acting like your boyfriend didn't just hold a knife against you.
You taste test everything, ensuring that everything's thoroughly cooked. When the taste is up to your standards, you go to turn off the stove. As your reaching for it, you hear a loud "honk" right in your ear. You jump and turn around, more terrified than when he held a knife to your neck. Art is there, now fully cleaned of blood, and silently laughs. Hard. And buckles over in laughter and pointing at you. He then puts a hand of his heart and mocks your shocked expression and the way you jumped. You bend over the counter, holding your head and laughing too.
Art comes over and grabs a hold of your waist, wrapping both arms around you and lifting you up. He swings you around a bit and kisses your neck. You laugh as he does, now forgetting about the past incident. "Baby-" you laugh. Art perks up and looks at you. "Go sit at the dinner table, I'll bring out your dinner." Art rolls his eyes and gives you once last squeeze before he lets go and slumps over to his spot on the dinner table.
You serve two plates; Art has some chicken, beef, rice and vegetables, which yours has the same but less beef. You bring out his plate first, setting it in front of him and kissing him on the lips. And go back to get your plate and when you come back and set your plate down across Art, you notice his vegetables are gone from his plate and... on the floor, a very thin, useless napkin covering them.
"Babe." Now it's your turn to scowl at him. Art was some of the beef in his mouth. He looks up at you, dumbfounded. "Why the shit is your food on the floor?" Art shrugs and looks around at the floor around him and looks puzzled, like he's pretending the food on the floor doesn't exist. "Art." You glare at him and he just looks like he doesn't know what you're talking about, doing hand movements to tell you you're crazy.
You opened your mouth to speak but Art held up a finger, shushing you. He points to the beef and then his arm, his eyes questioning. "What?" He does the same again. You shrug, looking confused. Art rolls his eyes like you're the dumb one and points to the beef and then to you and him. "I dont-" Art rolls his eyes harder, throwing his body back in dramaticness too. He points to the beef again, and shrugs, looking at you like it's so obvious to know what he's trying to ask you.
"What is it??" You ask, trying to guess what he's trying to say. Art nods, happily and relieved that you finally got it. "It's beef. It's cow." You say and start eating, taking a bite of the chicken. Arts grin is quickly wiped off his face and he slumps. "What?" You ask and eat. Art does a handmovement to say "oh nevermind" and he starts eating. "I'm not cooking human, Art. Don't even think about it." You scold and Art mocks you in response. You just roll your eyes and eat, forgetting the vegetables on the floor.
🖤🖤🖤
After dinner, you two clean up the kitchen. Art washes the dishes while you put the dishes in the sink and wiping down the counters and sweeping the floor. You have music on, singing along as Art bops his head dances a little to the music.
After cleaning, you two go to your shared bedroom. As soon as your door closes, you pounce on Art. You wrap your arms around his neck and smash your lips against his. Almost like he was expecting it, Art instantly grabbed onto you and kissed you back, using tongue and gripping onto your pajamas.
Art pushes you against the wall, his hands still gripping your hips. Your hands reach behind his back and zipped down the zipper on his clown suit. Art starts peeling off your clothes until you're completely naked. You pull off arts clown fit until he's naked too, just his facepaint and mini tophat on.
Art flips you over so you're pressed against the wall. You open your legs a bit and Art grabs your asscheeks, opening them apart and angling his dick with your pussy. He spits on his dick and slowly slips into you, his hands moving to your hips. You let out a soft moan and press your cheek against the wall, looking back at him. Your full body is against the wall, your ass poking out a little.
Art starts slamming his hips against you, his pace getting rougher and rougher. Your body jolts and you moan louder. With every thrust, your thighs slap against the wall. Art reaches around your neck. He wraps his bare hand around the front of your neck and he flips you two over. His back lays against the wall, one hand on your hips as he continues to thrust into you. He pulls your head back by your neck, squeezing a little. Your hands reach back and grab onto his legs as his pace becomes almost unhuman.
Art slaps your ass hard as he does, grinning at your yelp in response. He trails is hand down, roughly grabbing your tits, then trailing fully down to your hip. He pushes down on your back to make you bend over and his other hand grabs a fistful off your hair and pulls your head back. Art grabs your thighs with the hands that was once on your back and opens your legs more. He then grabs your hand and places it on your pussy, and you start mastutbating yourself. All the while his pace stays harsh and rough like usual.
After a while you warn Art of your upcoming orgasm, to which he replies by slapping your ass harshly a couple more times until you cum on his dick; your fingers still circling your clit and Arts pace not faltering. Art abruptly stops his movements, planting himself balls deep into you. He lets go of your hair, his hands just resting on your hips. You slowly stand up straight again. Art grabs the hand you used to pleasure yourself with, pressing it against his lips and into his mouth, licking your juices off your fingers. His other hand pulls your hair back. He slowly turns to look at you, a grin on his face, and he dives in to kiss your lips.
He lets go of you and peels you off his dick, walking you to the bed and pushing you on your back, onto the bed. Art opens your legs, kneeling between them. He uses his fingers to massage your clit for a while before he raises his hand up and slaps your pussy. Not too hard but enough to sting. When he hears you moan and watches your legs jolt, he does it again. And again. And again. And again, till your pussy was wetter and red.
Art stops slapping you, then leans down and starts roughly eating your pussy. You moan loudly and wiggle a little as he does. He forces your legs open and keeps them there as he makes out with your pussy. You grab his head and push it closer to you, his large nose pressing against your clit.
You grind against his face until you cum on his face and he keeps eating you out. Your body spasms. He finally pulls away and licks his lips, standing up again. He lines his dick up with your pussy, instantly pludging himself into you and his expression contorts at the feeling. He starts moving his hips again, fast.
You cry out in overstimulation, your nails digging into his arms as his hands grip your hips tightly. A single tear runs down your face. Art sees this a grins, enjoying the pleasure- and pain- he's giving you. He licks the tear, biting your cheek a little before he comes back up. Your legs shake and tremble and your face looks disheveled. But Art loves when your helpless like this with him. Because of him.
Art winks down and at you and blows you a kiss. He then slams into you, hard, and stays there for a second, balls deep inside you. Then he does it again. And again. And again. He grins wider and wider with every moan you scream out.
He then wraps his hand around your neck, tightly, and starts up his fast, rough pace into you. Your hands claw at his arm as he chokes you, but not too hard. Well... not at first at least. After a couple more minutes, and a couple more orgasms pulled from you, he grips your neck tighter. Your face is now redder than it's ever been.
Art slams into you, cumming inside you, his grin not leaving his face, his eyes shifting from your eyes to your pussy. Even after he came, he kept going, moving fast like before. Like he had all the energy in the world. He squeezed a little tighter at your neck for a second, cutting your airways for only a second before he let you breath again as he fucked you.
Your body slowly became more and more limp, your eyes getting loopy and your heart racing. Your moans start getting fainter and quieter, which makes Art falter a bit but he doesn't stop. Seconds later your body goes limp and your eyes close. You passed out. Whether that be from the choking or from the overstimulation, you don't know. You just know you knocked out.
🖤🖤🖤
You woke up minutes later, now laying against a pillow on the bed. You have a blanket over your still-naked body and the ceiling fans on. You see Art sitting next to you on the bed, now in sports shorts and a T-shirt. He's looking down at you as you wake up, and you have a feeling he's been like that for the whole time you've been asleep.
Art has confusion and... fear in eyes. Fear for Art is rare. Rarer than rare. Someone like Art is never scared. Confused yes, he's sometimes confused, but not scared. He's watched you almost cut a finger off while cooking and his eyes looked more hungry and like he was holding back than scared for your life. But now he's scared. There's finally some human emotion in his eyes.
You two don't do anything but stare at eachother for some time. Didn't Art almost kill you when he got home? Why does he look worried now? It's like he's not even blinking.
Arts tilts his head, looking down at you. He slowly inches his hand to your neck, lightly touching the red marks of his hand left behind. You turn on your side, smiling tiredly as you look up at him. Art touches your face and raises his eyebrows, still confused on why you just knocked out mid sex. "Ya kno-" you stop talking when you hear your own voice. It's very very raspy. You clear your throat and go to talk again. That didn't help. Still raspy. But you talked anyway.
"A girl can only take so much, baby." You laugh. Art rolls his eyes and mocks you. He's back to his usual self. "Whaat??" You laugh again and wrap your arms around his waist. Art ruffles your already-messed-up hair, grinning down at you playfully again.
"Maybe if I wake up first tomorrow, I'll wake you up with a blowjob." You rub your elbow on his crotch and he instantly gets hard again. You get off him and lay back on the bed. He looks down at you with a frown. "Tomorrow." You remind him. Art huffs and rolls his eyes, getting into bed with you. You two sleep, clinging onto eachother.
🖤🖤🖤
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN
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floral-hex · 1 year ago
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It’s a nice, quiet afternoon. Everything is peaceful. So why am I being hit with anxiety?
Maybe I need more coffee.
#I don’t but I like coffee so… 🤷🏻‍♂️#I just need a special little treat for my bad bad brain#it’s Memorial Day so drs are closed but I’ll call tomorrow and ask about starting something new to chill me out#buspar was a no go so… vistaril?#god I tried a prescription of vistaril maybe 8-10 years ago and it just made me drowsy#like boosted benadryl#just added a layer of drowsiness on top of my anxiety so I felt extra helpless#BUT! I’m willing to give it another shot#and I hear from some people that if your body can adjust to the drowsiness then you’ll be left with mainly good effects#well… I’ll take sleepiness as a side affect over ‘oh god I feel hot under my skin and I’m scared’#I’m not really super anxious right now. just… I dunno#walked out of the room to a quiet dark house feels so empty and lonely and I feel alone and the future is lonely and terrible and and and a#just chill dude it’s all good#the last couple of days getting out of the house and being around people was really nice#buuuut now I’m back to a quiet bedroom with just me#like going from this living breathing place to the small dark dead room#so I’ll turn on some lights. turn up the tv. let the sun in. remind myself there are other people out there#this world’s not dead yet#it’s not ending. it goes on and on. I just have to be aware of that.#this is a downer!#things are good! today is good! I promise! brains are just stupid!#it’s a wet lump of electrified tissue and it’s fucking shit up for me dude#I need to get my shit slonked bro. emotionally.#you can ignore this#text
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oizysian · 29 days ago
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13 // Fleshlight // Cum For Mommy
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Summary: Wanda buys a new toy for Y/N.
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: enchanted cocks, dirty talk, bondage
Word count: 760
Kinktober masterlist
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“Just lay back …” she pushed me back gently, my head hitting the soft pillows and my body tensed up with uncertainty. “… and relax. I’m gonna take care of you tonight.”
I let out a deep breath and tried to relax like she told me to, getting comfortable and letting the tension melt from my shoulders.
“There,” she cooed, rubbing her soft hand along my arm. “Now, let’s get you ready.”
“Ready?” I asked, my eyebrows raising slightly with curiosity.
“Yes.” She flicked her fingers at me and my clothes were gone.
Naturally, I thought to myself, if we were going to have sex we would have to be naked. But, then the wisps emerged from her fingertips and wrapped around my limbs, holding me in place.
“What are you doing, Wanda?” I asked nervously and she smiled.
“Giving you a little treat.”
Before my eyes, a cock grew between my legs, red and thick, and I realized she had something different planned for tonight. She looked down at it, clearly pleased with what she had created, and got up from the bed, walking over to our dresser to search within the drawers.
“I bought this specifically for this occasion.” She said as she brought out a box, still sealed in plastic. “Just for you, detka.”
I watched silently as she returned to the bed, sitting next to me and opening the box, showing me its contents.
“A fleshlight?” I asked with amusement.
“I wanted to try something new with you. See how long you can last.”
I was about to speak when she bent her head down and took the tip of my cock into her mouth, sucking on it. She took the whole thing into her mouth, getting it nice and wet with her saliva, and made a show of licking the length of it.
“T-that’s not fair, Wanda.” I said softly, already trying to control myself. “You said you were using the fleshlight.”
She pulled off of me and licked her lips, smiling devilishly as she did so.
“I did, but I had to get you ready first.”
And ready I was. My faux cock stood tall, proud and at attention, just waiting for her to continue her delicious torture. She took it out of its plastic and examined it, looking it over before bringing it to my cock and running the opening over the tip.
“Don’t tease.” I said as I struggled against her magic.
“I believe I’m the one that’s in control.” She said with a smirk before engulfing my cock in the toy. “I’ll do with you as I please.”
I let out a pathetic moan as she brought the toy up and down my length. It felt better than I imagined it would, and it only made me wish that she was riding me instead.
She watched intently as my magical cock slipped in and out of it, perverted squishy sounds coming from within.
“You take it so well.” She moved it slowly, drawing a low moan out of me. “Does it feel better than my pussy?”
“No,” I groaned, fighting off the urge to cum already. “Your pussy … I want your pussy.”
“Not until I’m satisfied.”
I threw my head back against the pillows in frustration, my hips bucking upward towards the toy as she fucked me. She smiled as she played with me, the sounds I was making pleasing to her and the way I looked only urged her on further.
“You’re such a good girl, fighting off your orgasm so this will last longer. You want mommy to fuck you all night?”
I nodded, words escaping me at the moment. She clicked her tongue at me, clearly disappointed with the fact that I hadn’t spoken to her when she asked her question. She slowed down again, bringing it to the tip of my cock and leaving it there so I couldn’t reach release.
“Words, detka. Or you have to do it yourself.”
“Yes!” I croaked, hips jerking desperately. “I want you all night.”
She bit her lip in excitement and let the toy slide down my length, then began pumping rapidly. I let out a gasping cry, my legs shaking as I felt myself about to cum.
“That’s right, darling. Cum for mommy.”
Her words pushed me over the edge and I came inside of the fleshlight, the spurting sound of my cum filling the toy loud as it spilled all over me.
“That was a big one.” She cooed, still pumping the toy along my enchanted dick. “Do you have another in you for mommy?”
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