#i tried to reach them writing multiple times a day for a month but im giving up now.. its not gonna be reactivated :(

[capriszn]

my pinterest account got suspended a month ago for absolutely no reason and i wrote to the help center EVERY DAY without a single reply back and might just have to accept it‘s never gonna be reactivated and when i tell you i just cried like a baby over losing my boards

[kkl1nch0r]

title: chase of lies (blade x fbi gender neutral reader PART 1)

notes: im back (idc i just wanted to write one day after over maybe a year of abandoning this shitty account) and I was like WAIT WHAT IF BLADE FBI AND YOU so I did my best. I'm rusty because of school on my ass. this is multiple parts and this is part 1 of blade and you getting down freaky. (NOT THAT FREAKY) NOT FREAKY NOT FREAKY MY BAD

---

“Fu Xuan, just—”

“Are you trying to work yourself to death, Y/n?!” the girl cries, throwing up a pile of papers in the air for dramatic effect as you sigh, shaking your head in denial.

The Xianzhou Investigation Unit— Division Six, Violent Crimes and Major Offenders, the office barely filled with its agents— was rarely this rowdy in the morning.

You reach out a hand to place a consoling hand on Fu Xuan’s shoulder, to tell her it would be all right, but you knock your mug of coffee along the way.

The drink spreads steadfast over the pile of unsigned papers, and Fu Xuan sighs, taking the mug, fetching tissues from her pocket almost magically. “Y/n, you shouldn’t just give your life away like that. We have enough to do as it is, and you’re still injured—”

“Which gives me more of a reason to help you guys out!” you interjected, grabbing the soaked papers, and turn around to face the broken-down printer. It was out of ink, and you sighed. “I can’t just let you guys work to death without me. That’s just unfair.”

Fu Xuan crosses her arms, facing you with her trademark steely glare. You wince.

You twisted your stiff ankle uncomfortably, still trying to get used to walking again. From the last mission, the chase for the Stellaron Hunters had caused you to unfortunately fall and twist your ankle, aside from the several broken ribs and fractured wrist that had taken months to heal.

Returning to the office was a great slap of reality to the face. No more herbal tea, no more reading by the fire, no more relaxation. Not that you were complaining.

And here you were, looking up at Miss Number One Workaholic of Division Six. The girl was absolutely against you taking up another case that had just “intrigued” you.

“I need to help around a little,” you tried, and Fu Xuan raised a skeptic eyebrow.

“Yeah, right,” she countered, and you braced yourself for the running tangent she was about to go on. “You just want to take this case up because you know it involves the Stellaron Hunters, and nothing stops you from persecuting them. From what I know, not one– not one! Of your cases contain something unrelated from that faction. You’re going to get yourself hurt like last time… not to mention you could actually die.”

She hit every nail right on the head.

“Gosh, Fu Xuan,” you gushed, batting your eyelashes, cupping the side of your face with a hand. “You just know me so well.”

“Thank the Aeons I do,” Fu Xuan snapped. She was having none of it this morning, it seemed. “Because who else would know when you’ll throw yourself into a pit of lava or something?”

“Fu Xuan!”

“You know I’m right!” she called, walking from your desk. “I’m talking to Jing Yuan about this. He’ll probably slap some sense into you.”

“Come on!”

The agent had disappeared behind the heaping piles of paper on the desks. You groaned, slumping back into your seat as the chair creaked— at least Division Six had chairs on the more comfortable side. If it weren’t for the cushioning your back might have just torn in half.

“Thank the Aeons for those,” you mumbled to yourself, looking at the clock ahead hopelessly. You looked back at the case, nonchalantly tossed onto your desk. File X. The file name stared right back at you, like a tantalizing treat in front of a hungry child.

Focus, Y/n.

You scowled, picking up the inkless pen, scribbling over the notepad before groaning again, hauling the pen across the room.

“Stupid pen.”

—-

When lunch rolls around, you’re ready to grab the pile of papers and fling them at the Investigation director. 

But instead of confronting Jing Yuan in his office, you head downstairs and out of the office. Sunlight blasts in your eyes, but you make a break for the cafe across the street, opening the door with a pleasant chime.

“Good morning,” says the staff at the counter, and you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose in exasperation. Okay, you take that previous note back– the cushioning does next to nothing about your back. It’s been hours since you’ve got up and stretched.

“Good afternoon,” you reply, smiling, and place your order. 

The staff fumbles the tablet— and your entire order. He nervously giggles, sporting his neck awkwardly.

You’re not amused. You arch an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I’m not really familiar with all these flavors,” he says, and you bristle at his voice. He looks familiar.

“Your green eyes,” you say, and the staff jumps. “Have we met before?”

Come to think of it, you have. Striking green eyes and indigo hair. Stocky build.

Sampo swallows nervously, holding up two hands in surrender. “Okay, uh. We’re getting ahead of ourselves here. What’s the difference between French vanilla and Vanilla?”

Your eyes narrow.

“You would’ve fooled me better with a fake mustache and glasses,” you reply, completely ignoring his previous question. “What are you doing here working at a cafe right across the Xianzhou Investigation unit, Sampo?”

“...That’s a great question.”

“Can’t you catch a break?” Fu Xuan sighs back in the office. “You’re out for a break in the cafe and suddenly a wanted man turns up on your radar.”

“You can’t blame me, Fu Xuan,” you reply. “Anyways, Gepard’s going to be furious. A wanted man he’s spent eternity tracking down just strolls into the cafe right across the street. What a day.”

You pause as Fu Xuan organizes her papers on her desk. “Okay… you know what would be a day? If you talk with Jing Yuan about File–”

“No more Stellaron Hunters,” Fu Xuan snaps, and looks up at you from her desk. “No more File X. You’re supposed to work here until further notice.”

“Fu Xuan,” you plead, and the girl closes her eyes in frustration. The papers she’s dealing with sit abandoned at her desk, and she sighs. You sigh. It’s about to turn into a sighing competition when she raises her hand. 

“Can we just— talk about how dangerous it is?”

You sense hope. She’s going to talk to Jing Yuan. You’re sure of it. It’s just so close! Fu Xuan just needs a push.

Fu Xuan’s lips turn down, her eyebrows knit together in concern. She looks disappointed, worried, and sad at the same time. “Do you know how you’re disregarding your life in search of a case impossible to solve right now?”

“That’s my job, Fu Xuan.” and it's true. Nobody devotes their life to the Xianzhou Investigation unit without knowing what they’re getting into.

“There’s a line between going into a mission and having an idea of what’s going to happen. That’s called being prepared. But you’re being reckless, Y/n. You’re rushing into something head-on without thinking what it could do to you.” Fu Xuan is throwing objection after objection after you, but you shake your head in reply.

“It’s what I’m choosing to do. This is my life, Fu Xuan. Not yours.”

The girl throws her hands up in exasperation. “Does it pain you to just think about the consequences for once?!” you bite your lip at her outburst. Fu Xuan looks like she’s about to cry out of frustration, her eyes rimmed with red. “I just don’t want the only other investigator here to just d– disappear along with the others.”

I just don’t want the only other investigation here to just die, is what she’s saying. You understand. You understand her so well it hurts. 

The girl puts her head in her hands, looking utterly distraught. “There’s only so much I can do, Y/n. You know– the last time when I saw you come back I thought–” Fu Xuan’s breath hitches. “You were on the verge of death. I don’t want to see you like that ever again.”

“You can’t protect me like that forever,” you reply softly, and Fu Xuan sighs. She knows that well too. “I can take care of myself. I know it sounds stupid saying it like this right now when I have no idea what’s going to happen, but…”

You trail off, and Fu Xuan looks up at you, looking defeated.

Finally, the girl nods grimly, standing up from her chair and heading towards the director’s office. “I’ll talk to him.”

—

What seems like hours later File X is approved, and you’re getting ready to go on an undercover mission to stalk the Stellaron Hunters and capture one of them, learn their motives, and the usual yada yada you can’t help but ignore.

The whole team– Jing Yuan, Fu Xuan, Yanqing (an Investigation unit under training), and Sushang had gathered to see you off.

Jing Yuan looked just as grim as Fu Xuan. His eyebrows were knit together in worry but he managed a warm smile nonetheless, hands behind his back in thought. “Best of luck, Y/n.”

Fu Xuan, with her arms crossed, looked upset, but as you managed a sad smile towards the girl, she huffed, nodding. Both Jing Yuan and Fu Xuan had tensed shoulders, but there was no convincing you otherwise. “Be careful. And make sure you look out for yourself; you never seem to register that.”

You laughed. “Will do, Fu Xuan.”

Yanqing looked enthusiastic, tugging on Jing Yuan’s sleeve. He looked up at you with bright eyes. “I wanna be just like you, Y/n!” he said with admiration. “Going on an undercover mission!”

Fu Xuan rolled her eyes, but was almost toppled over when Sushang let out a cry, rushing forward from the group— she was still in training as well— and embraced you, sniffling.

“You’ll be back, right?” she asked tearfully, looking up at you with tear-stained cheeks. “It gets so lonely here… and Yanqing’s not really good company anyway.”

Yanqing bristled at her words. “Hey!”

You smiled, patting the girl’s back reassuringly. “Make sure to work hard and behave,” you said. It looked like a meeting before your funeral, but it was sweet nonetheless.

“Be super careful!” Sushang called the team following you to the lobby and out of the building. It was dark out, but you nodded in return, waving like it was your final farewell.

What if it was?

You pushed that thought down. Sushang elbowed Yanqing to do the same, and he grumbled, raising a hand to wave. “Be careful!” he repeated.

“I will, I promise!” you called back, stepping out.

“You better, Y/n! I still need to beat you up to death after this!” Fu Xuan yelled across the street.

You sighed. There was no stopping her, was there?

[mariska]

sad progressive disability ramble under the read more sorry for using this blog as a public health diary again it's just been. A Lot. and i don't currently have the body strength to physically write in my journal with a pen/pencil

been like three days in a row now i think where i have been forcibly woken up because my left leg, specifically my calf and thighs and toes but mostly calf, went into a sudden severe So Painful That You Can't Even Scream About It And Just Kind Of Sob And Groan Involuntarily dystonia attack while i was still asleep and then it just continues lingering as really bad super tight muscle pain for the rest of the day even with the help of multiple prescription meds i have that very slightly help prevent another full-on dystonia attack. im so tired. its been like this for a very large portion of my life but it used to happen like once or twice a year before this year and now i'm getting lucky if it doesn't happen more than once a week. on top of the reproductive organ system pain that has gotten so bad this whole year too that i essentially no longer have any days in a month where i am not experiencing Extreme debilitating pain and cramps and am pretty much just On My Period in some part of the whole cycle thing 24/7.

i am like. im just. im too tired dude. i really think i've reached a point so far beyond any kind of pain threshold limit of what i can deal/live with at this point it's absolutely terrifying. i'm trying so so so hard to "take it one day at a time" but i can't even take it one hour at a time or 5 minutes at a time it feels like my body is legitimately completely failing on me. i wish i could remember what it felt like being somewhat less physically disabled when i was a kid thru my tweens and very early teens. that feels like a completely different person and life separated from my present day self now. i used to wake up without a nausea inducing headache sometimes. i can't even imagine what that must have been like.

genuinely sorry to be making bummer posts on here about my health decline, tried to tell myself yrs ago that i should probably not do that cause i truly do not want to make anyone else feel miserable reading my life updates that are very much not positive and filled with health related fear. it's just like. god, ok, im sorry again in advance i don't mean for this to sound at all defeatist or completely pessimistic, but in a purely logical This Is Just What Every Day Of Life Has Been For Me way i feel like i'm running out of time. in general. in life. very specifically because of how fast everything has declined with my health this whole year and the past few months specifically. i keep going to sleep whenever im able to in the middle of the night feeling absolutely terrified that my body will just suddenly fail on me totally while i'm sleeping and i'll just die. i cannot stress enough how much I Do Not Want That To Happen To Me At The Age Of 27 but like. wtf am i supposed to do. about all of this. im already doing the max of whatever i can, i have dr's appointments scheduled as scared as i am about actually going to them for multiple reasons, i have medications prescribed to me that do help a bit with my more muscle and connective tissue related pain problems, im trying so hard to keep it together (mostly for my moms honestly because they love me and care about me way more than i love or care about myself but thats just The Severe Clinical Depression speaking or whatever) but it doesn't matter because my body refuses to try with me anyways. i am. so. tired. i don't think any amount of rest or naps or sleep will ever improve how tired i feel all the time ever again truly. i think its just This Tired And Exhausted And Burned Out Forever Now. i am. indescribably sad.

[luxxtuxx]

'Get Some Rest, My Little Rockstar'

Hobie + Child!Reader THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE, I also cried writing this (multiple times) TW: Character death ANYWAYS ENJOY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was supposed to be a normal day in hobies universe swinging around doing patrol, then a villain struck tearing apart a building. He managed to save a lot of people, but something felt off when he was pulling the last man out of the rubble, his spidey senses were tingling. He followed them. The stronger they got, the more he could hear it. A baby sobbing and screaming. He pushed a large chunk of rubble away to find a little baby in a carrier thrashing around.

He picked up the baby and gently rocked it. "Hey, little rockstar. Dont cry, ill be okay I promise. Spider-Punk has got you" He picked up the carrier and carefully walked out of the rubble. The first thing he did was take you to the hospital to make sure that this little baby was okay. the hospital said that either hobie could keep you or register you into the foster system. Hobie took you with him, he took some cash he had stocked away out. He looked at you, you were gonna be the only thing in his life he wanted consistency of. "C'mon rock star! Let's go find you some punk clothes."

Now, hobie wasn't the type to enjoy dressing up, but finding little baby punk clothes to put you in warmed his heart. You were his pride and joy now. A few months later your first word was 'punk' and after learning a few more words, hobie was called 'papa punk'

You grew up like a chaotically smart devil. Hobie constantly encouraged you to try things, you weren’t a spider person, but HQ loved having you around. Hobie enjoyed watching you try everything, and not stand by and be a cookie-cutter kid. You were allowed to wear whatever you wanted and do what you wanted (Within reason)

By the time you were 8, you had earned a black belt in karate, you could play your mini electric guitar pretty well, had been kicked out of 3 different schools for starting fights, and you could read just under 200 words per minute, and you had a secret cat that Hobie hasn’t found out about for 2 months. People thought that hobies yes as much as possible method would you into a monster, but it didn't you were often extremely kind and well versed in etiquette.

Hobie loved rocking out with you, he enjoyed time with you. He was a classic dad at times, making fun of you in front of your friends, or trying to embarrass you in front of your crush. Watching you grow up was his favorite thing in the whole world... Until 4 years later, an anomaly villain reached his universe, you were doing as you normally did helping old people and little kids evacuate the area. Hobie and then the entire squad including Miguel were helping out. Then it happened, a torn-up pipe the villain had thrown slashed a large cut through your side. Hobie heard you scream and immediately ditched the group to run to you, run to his kid, his pride and joy.

You fell down not having the strength to stand, he caught you in time, "Hey kid, cmon keep them eyes open okay? Im gonna get you to HQ and the nurses are gonna heal you up. hold still." he tried to lift you carefully, he sat you back on the ground after he heard you scream in pain, "Kid, I can't lose you, Stay awake" you weakly pull his mask up, wanting to see his face one last time. "Papa punk, You lived 20 years without me, I'm sure you can do it again" Hobie teared up and hugged you close "Im not gonna let you die." "Hey Dad, can I ask you somethings before I go??" his heart shattered. "Yeah, kid, anything"... he pulled away and kissed your forehead "At any point, even for a second....Did I make you proud?" that question made hobies heart hurt so bad "Every single second of every day you were in my life I was proud of you." you nod. "I don't want to go to Valhalla looking like a loser.... can I borrow your leather jacket for a bit?" hobie took off the jacket and slipped it on you. "Papa punk?" he stares at you, "Smile, I'm your canon event. Events are meant to be fun. Smile once last time for me papa" Hobie forced a weak smile at his child's request, ignoring the tears slipping out of his eyes. "Papa don't cry... You'll ruin your eyeliner" You laugh weakly and hobie smiles a small bit at your laugh... "Im sure you are tired kiddo" he kissed your forehead again as the last breath slipped from your lips

"Get Some Rest, My Little RockStar"

Bonus: Hobie had you cremated and put your ashes in a bunch of resin art so he could walk around his boat and you'd be there with him. He keeps a necklace on him with your ashes inside, every mission he completes. he kisses the small vial and say 'we won'. He still plays the guitar, mostly your favorite songs with a guitar pick he had you paint him when you were little. He made sure you were never alone. He missed you so much, and on the anniversary of your death he didn't take any missions he just sat home and talked out loud about all the amazing things you've missed in the past year, in his mind believing you could hear him.

[exrp624-calisto]

🛟// idk if ive mentioned this but i enjoy writing too (should be obvious tho considering i run a rp blog lolol) but here's a short fic (short short) i did for experiment Charlotte bc i couldn't get the horrific idea of her trying to eat with a radula out of my head.. uhm idk what 2 tw this truthfully ive never written anything like this... its just how her body mutates in order to eat for the first time.. it's not that graphic but just a heads up incase. also she's actually not mute in this au and eyefes plays a significant role too! also im bad at writing so there's that too

She had lost track of time, day, month, year. It didn’t matter, so she didn’t bother keeping track. The only lights she had at this moment were the bioluminescent ones she “naturally” produced on her own.

Oh. And the green ones headed her way in a hurry.

Looks like Eye’s had returned. Eyes. She didn’t like that name for her but that’s what the shark had introduced itself as and she should respect that. It didn’t deserve any more disrespect.

Charlotte had opened her wings a tad as the creature ceased its approach.

“You’re back.. Gone a bit longer than usual. Is everything okay?”

The shark didn’t always reply, mainly because it was painful for them both. This was one of those times. However as she reached out to stroke its head (a small spot left untouched by the many eyes it had) it dropped something from its maw.

It’s a fish. No telling what kind. She didn’t have that much deep sea knowledge… That’s why she was here in the first place.

She didn’t have to be able to read minds to know what this meant. She hadn’t eaten since she got here. It had been days at least.

“Thank you, Eyes..”

Charlotte was easily able to tear off a piece of the fish (It seems like Eyes had shredded it already, probably realizing Charlotte couldn’t do that herself.) and she passed it to the shark beside her. It was only fair to share.

She slowly tried to take a bite of the other side of the scaled flesh before coughing, choking, and spitting it out. Huh? She turned to Eye’s who had its head tilted to the side.

“I.. I can’t physically eat this. Not just this fish but.. As soon as it went down my throat I…” She began to tear up. Even thousands of miles underwater her tears remained visible.

Eyes glared at her for a few moments. Charlotte had told her something one time that she remembered. “Humans are too preoccupied with whether they can do something that they don’t stop and think if they should do something.”

Humans had done something to her. To herself and Charlotte. She knew that Charlotte wasn’t ready to confront that yet. But she wasn’t giving her a choice.

Green rays burst through the darkness and Charlotte’s eyes were snapped to the sharks as she heard bellowing words.

“YOU ARE NOT HUMAN.”

Oh. This would be a major mood killer and insult to anyone else but she knew what the shark was telling her. She could no longer consume food in this manor, for her throat had no route to her stomach.

Sea angels do not have mouths, she was lucky they let her keep her own. Sea angels consume food by extending their radula to wrap around its prey and drag them into its serrated teeth as they are scrapped to death and consumed.

She had no idea how she could possibly do that on command. Or did she even have to? Would it just happen?

But her stomach(?) growled and her throat closed up.

And something else opened. She didn’t want to look. She couldn’t.

Her jaw unlatched and her tongue was bent forcefully backwards painfully by something worse. No, not something. Multiple things. As more of them emerged, the razors (teeth?) upon the tentacles scraped against her tongue painfully as they contorted to exit her mouth. (They likely wouldn’t have fit if her jaw didn’t unhinge.)

She could hardly breathe as tears welled in her eyes and the things from inside her promptly took the fish that was floating beside her and dragged it ever so slowly back into her. Somewhere inside her.

As the painfully slow process continued, she felt them writhe and push against and into her. It’s like they were just as confused as she was. She couldn’t feel her tongue anymore, she could only taste the blood from it being pressed against razor sharp fangs over and over and over as her body attempted to consume something in a way that was foreign. Animalistic. Non-human.

Because she wasn’t human, was she?

[misqnon]

do u ever get scared that maybe im lying to u about who i am... i wouldnt do that but i feel like if i had an anon that came off anon and revealed themself i would think "is it really u"... im not rly doing myself any favors by planting this idea in ur head but i want to know if u have thought abt it or not

SOMETIMES THAT IS HOW I AM.. not usually with zosan bc theyre not actually enemies.. theyre more like . rivals who argue a lot (and sometimes they try to kill each other for fun). but when its two characters who like.. idk.. killed each others families for example. i am thinking "get revenge.. kill them.. get revenge... revenge...." and revenge is NOT making out . revenge is NOT getting into a relationship..

ive never written any ship .. fanfic. so i dont think i could confidently write hanyagellan. i should though.. i should learn to write multiple characters. actually up until like. last month. i had never read fanfic that wasnt x reader. wait no thats wrong i HAD but it was characters i didnt know and purely bc i was bored. anyways if i am obsessed with fictional characters its usually bc i want to date them. and the ones i dont like like that r just blorbos, and i dont ship them with anyone. my first times actually shipping characters were basically.. me finding out phoenix wright and maya fey dont get together (i thought they were canon for some reason).. and it means its ok to ship wrightworth. and then enjoying satosugu content, a lot. both happened in the past 6 months or so

im actually kind of thinking kidd might have his time to shine in the next arc??? i wont say why but.. anyways heres hoping .

its mentioned one time in sabaody i think. that they have killed innocent civilians. and when i was rereading i was like "WOAH WAIT WHAT???? THE GUYS I FELL IN LOVE WITH ARE JUST REGULAR MURDERERS??" it was . a shocking moment. for sure. i filtered it out the first time bc i didnt really know kidd that well at the time. but NOW.. now... its different. ok wait i found the image

it doesnt change how much i like them but it is kinda a wake up call.. like thats right.. theyre... bad guys...

maybe marineford traumatized oda /j. like he had to go a while without his perverted cook and hot ladies and when he got them back he had the sanji reaction. maybe sanji is just his self insert. his reaction to being able to draw women again is sniffing them and bleeding out because of them

i have had a few moments where i really liked (mackenyu) zoro. when he smiled, once, i was like WOW ??? HELLO??? I LOVE U ... and then it was Gone.. i just need the silly guy to be silly. either way his action scenes are fantastic like. huge kudos to mackenyu for that. "zoro’s characterization seems to be one of the major criticisms ive seen across the board so maybe they’ll lighten him up for season 2." I HOPE SO!!! its not like hes doing an awful job or anything, im just sad abt the way the character has gone. make him smile a little more and joke around a little more and i will be happy as a clam or whatever that saying is. also excited for whatever the zoro saying fuck scene is.. i dont really notice cussing most of the time in media so i hope it doesnt slip past me

i heard koby's actor is trans?? i was very happy to hear that. excited for whenever we see him again in water 7 and hes all grown up. assuming the show goes for long enough to reach that point

actually i Did draw a fem sanji that i am willing to share bc its not too bad,, here u go. not like i did anything crazy with the design. its just sanji with boobs and longer hair.. and no facial hair. and also theres no obligation to do anything back. bc i was gonna draw fem sanji anyways. im only showing u bc i like u /p >:) otherwise it would never see the light of day

"luffy trying to pronounce the name of someone he doesnt care about be like" im so flattered to be compared to luffy HAHA even if its about his awful ability to remember names

"once i tried to see if there was some kind of website or plug in or tool to put in your email address and find any accounts linked to it so i could delete them but i didnt really find what i was looking for which is crazy." ive never thought to do that, but the fact there was nothing is so??? like dont other people have this issue?? idk if i have any really crazy websites i was on.. its more like the stuff i did when i had those accounts is crazy LOL

"blissful ignorance" fr. best to just ignore ur problems

"BUT I REMEMBERED THAT RUMIKO AT ONE POINT MENTIONED LIKING USAGI DROP AND I WAS LIKE. its so jover you guys" NOO THATS SO BAD... mangaka's please stop ruining ur characters and stories.. please........

"the nyan cat creator is actually here on tumblr lmao" THATS SO COOL.. time to see if they talk about it at all..

"also the vocaloid oliver voices puppycat in bee and puppycat! and a vocaloid song actually mde it into a MARVEL MOVIE??" I HEARD ABT THAT AND LIKE?? MARVEL... MARVEL... THE BIGGEST MOVIE FRANCHISE.. YEAH.... THATS INSANE..

"i could link my vocaloid megaplaylist but its. long." u should anyways .. if ur comfortable. the playlist i used most often to listen to music.. for years.. is 83 hours long. and it was just every single thing i liked. so. just letting u know the extent of how Not Picky i am

"i had one of the most fun times of my life lmao. i was JAMMIN." it sounds like a lot of fun!!! i hope kikuo comes back... so i can go see them... as. an actual fan next time .

"i think 90% of what oda says should be ignored LMAO. MY STORY NOW!! half joking. maybe a little more than half." Exactly!!! exactly!!! although i think his choice to not have any romance was a very good one so i will thank him for that.

"when the live action cast talks about how much they respect him and how cool meeting and talking to him was i almost feel bad bc he seems like a kind and goofy guy a lot of the time, but oof, man really needs to evaluate his biases…" I KNOW,, ME TOO. i saw uh.. iñaki ? meet him . and like.. man.. he seemed so happy. i love the guy. but it is tainted by my knowledge of who oda is.

i do also sometimes purposely bury posts.. im sorry u have to deal with the knowledge that i might see the things u dont want people to see .. also i will go ham spamming u since i have permission now. (im overhyping myself. i will probably spam a normal amount)

i actually resisted tiktok extremely well until like . 2022? maybe? and now ...i am addicted. im not actually but i AM on there a lot.

i think i was like 11? maybe? when i saw the impel down scene with iva . and i was still in denial about being trans for a while after that (i dont know what was going on in my child brain bc i came out as genderfluid 3 times at 11 12 and 13 i think. (i forgot each time. yeah.) and yet i was still like "nah im not trans.. thats not possible") and actually i made a fursona (without admitting it was a fursona. it was just an animal and i said "actually this is me...") and i made THEM genderfluid.. and while making it i was like . "no.. me?? im not genderfluid... but u can be. ur allowed to be ." anyways just a big tangent to say iva thank u for helping me accept myself it was a very long and confusing process but finally... i have a vague understanding of who i am...

i don't think oda would answer me but he HAS said multiple times that he reads every single letter he gets (thats been approved by.. idk.. his manager or something?). imagine being immortalized in sbs though.. i think it would be funnier to be trans and not ask a question involving it at all and when ur question gets answered u can come out and say "whats up suckers actually this was me. i bet u wish u were me huh." . idk, i will do anything to get back at transphobes...

"and iva is apparently based not only on dr frankenfurter but also a drag queen he knew irl?" i heard. i heard that the voice actor for iva IS the person iva is based on . and that he was arrested actually... for .. posting "indecent images" online. i thought that meant nudes but apparently he was just trying to show he has tattoos. on his lower half. and then he had to step down as a voice actor

'sometimes i think about how bon clay’s jacket just says "OKAMA” on the back and it can. sometimes be considered a slur?' i go back and forth a lot on how i feel abt the use of okama in one piece. like on one hand yeah,, queer people do use their own slurs. but sometimes its too much... like.. sometimes i feel weirdly targeted by it. i think part of that is probably bc ive had slurs used against me as slurs but. anyways he doesnt have to use it in EVERY SENTENCE describing a queer person.. right.. like we do have just regular descriptors besides "queer".. but then i have other times I'm like hell yeah!!! queer people!!!!! and i love that they use that word. idk. consistency is not my strong suit.

"2gether we can remember the fishman royal family LMAO." perfect. a team effort.

i dont remember exactly what noah is supposed to be , theyre a little vague about it (probably on purpose) but i do remember them talking about the dawn of the world quite a bit. the poneglyph in the fishman island arc is i think an apology to joy boy. and roger is involved bc he could hear the voices of the neptunians, like luffy can

the only layer of ur comic i understand is the horses sadly... once again my lack of knowledge rears its ugly head..

"i can see him doing this but only to zoro. to piss him off." either zoro wouldnt notice or he would and it would definitely turn into another fight. wait those are just the only two possible courses of action..

"usopp’s in on it probably" thank u. i feel like this was for me. even if it wasn't. thank u.

u can be.. uh.... judge of sanji... no maybe not.. that just reminds me of vinsmoke judge..

i have never understood powerscaling. i have a very slight understanding of what it is but. like. i dont know how thats fun.. for people... i have always enjoyed stories more when theyre focused on characters and settings rather than action. i love a good fight but it is nowhere near my priority. part of the reason i love dressrosa so much is cuz they have that stupid (/lh) moment where everyone starts working together to push back the birdcage. makes me cry every time.

anyways yeah i do think zoro is meant to be stronger. i think its kinda lame cuz the sanji and zoro rivalry, where theyre constantly on equal levels but hate to admit it, is fun. but at the same time i dont think i would mind if zoro was declared second in command and therefore became the stronger one. perhaps thats just my zoro bias showing though. making zoro 1 cm taller is VERY funny .. u know he would use that against sanji.. with the way he constantly lorded over people (sanji especially) that he was the first person to get to sabaody

"its the crack cocaine" this may be controversial.. but i would think that would STUNT their growth /lh. big mom as a child was like the same size as her parents. but with the proportions of a child. and once again i am faced with the question of . do huge characters come out normal sized and then just have insane growth spurts.. or.. the other, scary option: they come out huge. but their parents r usually normal sized... imagining that is terrifying

i like to try to form my own opinions and theories bc i think its fun but.. some ppl are just way smarter than me at reading characters. how do they do that!! the fact u were reading character analysis as a kid is impressive tho bc i was definitely in my "characters are only either evil or good" stage for a loooonnggg time.

u commiting hard vs me having commitment issues. who would win. thank u for excusing sanuso its the only sanji ship i actually like. I'm picky too and. sometimes i just hate a ship for no particular reason. i have tried to analyze myself but i cant figure it out

"i will do you one better and give u a link to the SBS + a translator who looked at the question." THATS PERFECT THANK U

i dont think i can meet oda halfway....

idk if this is popular or not but the reasoning ive seen behind trans zoro is that he took kuinas sword after she died, which is like. a metaphor for leaving behind his pre transition self. n i like that connection a lot. but also zoro as a transmasc is just fun..

also a while ago?? u reacted to zoro not hurting uhh the bird lady on punk hazard. i saw that when i was looking through ur liveblogging.. tags. and i wanted to say that. that made me really angry too LOL . like i expected better from u.. ur supposed to be the one who gives equal treatment no matter what. but then. partially for my own sanity. i started thinking that maybe he didnt actually hurt her not bc shes a lady,,, but because he doesnt like to hurt weak people. he has had a lot of moments where he's shown to protect weak people specifically, regardless of gender.

these comments.. helped me see the light (i hope theyre readable)

if oda does make him into the type of guy who protects women for being women. i might go insane. he had that moment in skypeia where robin got hurt and he was like "shes a woman" as if that makes any difference how strong she is or how easy an opponent should go on her. and wait i see ur point about the characters not acting like their own established .. character... i see it..

if ur interested here are my thoughts from the punk hazard moment. upon reread. i didnt remember it happened because i wiped it from my brain so my anger was just as intense as the first time LOL

tw for violent language and cussing

ok huge tangent aside

that summary from the zosan fic is so good. they r both trans . hell yeah.

i havent seen the matilda movie!! i havent read the books either. i do see ppl talk abt them a lot though and i have been meaning to give it a try. i like danny devito. i love theatre!! havent really seen many shows . especially not high production ones. but i was in theatre in middle and high school. thats Right im a theatre kid. except i was part of the backstage crew and never wanted to do acting.. no one talks about crew it makes me sad

i love trans family frobin and chopper. zoro is also definitely choppers big brother. i disagree with the popular headcanon of him being choppers dad. they r brothers.

i do not have any favorite creators tbh. im very non commital so i will usually only have videos i like or art i like or . yeah . i do have a few recurring one piece artists i reblog though? i think? (all on tumblr.. i dont really use social media). so let me get those for u,,,

attyattlaw

fluffyartbl0g

kiashieart

huyandere (shuggy my beloved)

and honestly i think thats it? i was mostly using tumblr for kpop content until very recently so i dont have much that is. one piece centered.. most of my interests are very different from each otherr,,,

never know how to end asks so here is how i feel about law

i feel like i am not popular enough for that to happen but . but

fear

okay yea thats valid. i dont think ive actually come across any enemies ships like that…i mean im sure i HAVE but i dont think i have shipped any?? well. well no thats not true. but. i was 14 and also stupid

my favorite characters are almost always characters i have a fictional crush on AND one of the half of my favorite ship…this probably says something about me but im choosing to ignore it. i dont know a lot about ace attorney but do phoenix and miles not have some sort of rivalry as well?? or do they become buddies by the end

someone told me they think kidd is gonna be king of the pirates?? did i say that before. i dont know why they think this but that in combination with u thinking he’ll get more screentime is. compelling

JDFBDSKS WOOPS !! its ok…luffy will reform them,..sometimes i think oda writes a character being terrible and then if it was long enough ago we just forget about it and pretend its ok. like.remember how franky beat the SHIT out of usopp AND robbed him and that was never really addressed aside from a few lines and he just joined the crew and has been a happy goofy guy since. i do. i MEAN ZORO ALSO WAS JUST MURDERING PPL FOR BOUNTIES BEFORE HE JOINED THE CREW and then luffy was like hey. stop that. and so he did and we dont talk about it much LMAO

I KNOW SANJI GOTTA BE HIS SELF INSERT. im sure he inserts himself in many of the characters but sanji hardcore. this video  talks a lot about it. including how oda’s signature has sanji’s eyebrow swirl. also i think that is why sanji sucks so much and i want to beat him to death with hammers . who said that

YEA MACKENYU IS LIKE. SO PRETTY. HI MACKENYU,..HI. i think what bothered me most is that (esp pre ts) zoro was a very angry and loud character. he laughs loudly, he yells when he’s mad, he gets those big silly angry faces oda draws all the time. he’s quieter post ts but when he gets mad he still gets Loud yanno. zoro is boisterous. but opla zoro is always talking at Edgy Cool Boy Mumble. for reference the fuck is about buggy. which is so funny

koby’s actor IS trans!! i really like the casting they’ve gone with. For doing their races right, first of all, and also for things like giving koby’s role to a trans actor even though they didnt “have to”. and also i will now HC koby as trans thank u matt owens. i doubt they’ll get to water 7 (i think they might like. finish alabasta. and thats it. personally) but i mean WHO KNOWS. 

TRANS SANJI….OH MY GOD HI,,, HELLO MA’AM…GOD I WISH SHE WAS REAL. ODA…COWARD!!! YOU PUT HIM ON FORCE FEMME ISLAND AND IT DIDNT EVEN WORK /j

thank you for showing me!!  :D 

i think there were SOME options but they either required an account or cost money or didnt do the whole job so i kinda gave up. it is weird bc that seems like a very useful tool in this day and age

here…here is my vocaloid megaplaylist…it…pretty much is just every vocaloid song i liked. there’s a couple vocaloid-adjacent songs in there too. enjoy

i actually really like making playlists for ppl (vocaloid or otherwise) so if u ever want a more. condensed playlist of something. let me know!

kikuo is already doing more stuff in the u.s. so i bet he will come back!! i hope he does i spent like $50 on his merch so like I FUNDED IT

inaki meeting oda WAS very sweet imo…some people have said it seemed fake/forced but i didnt get that vibe at all. and oda does seem like a nice and funny person like. in real life. but again I KNOW WHAT U FUCKING THINK IN UR BRAIN…nuance and al that i guess.

i literally reblogged a nsfw comic the other day (it was a joke comic, but still) and i was like i will bury this. and queue it for 1 am. i am so safe. AND NOW I DO NOT FEEL SAFE!! im joking i dont care that much. but tumblr why

how did you…how did u forget u were gendrfluid 3 times…actually. actually im REALLY bad about putting a label on my gender so i cant talk. i used to say “girl with a little agender on the side” or something and then went by demigirl kinda for a while? and then people would ask my gender and i’d be like “idk its whatever man” and my friends would go “i thought u were a demigirl?” and id be like OH FUCK OH YEA but now its evolved and i still dont have a name for it. im one of those ‘no labels’ people now but only bc i dont feel like looking into it more. lazy moment. and labels feel too definitive. 

u should do that actually. a couple of his sbs people have gotten pretty popular for frequent comments i think. also I DIDNT KNOW THAT ABOUT IVA VA??? WHAT THE FUCK

PFFT dont worry about not understanding the comic its fairly niche. the song lyrics are from this song (very explicit btw. also a bop imo) and the “lipsync for your life” bit is a reference to rupauls drag race when the queens have to perform to a song to not get eliminated. and i like to imagine iva put sanji through many a gay time

“wait those are the only two possible courses of action..” I USE THAT SAME PHRASE A LOT AND ACCIDENTALLY DO THAT SAME THING EVERY TIME LMAO

fuck…but it would work so well with my gavel…damn it…im uh uh…magistrate of sanji, (i literally googled judge synonyms for this. and also it made me think about that one vocaloid song where kaito is a judge)

i rlly dont care about powerscaling and i have never looked into it and never will. i actually really do like cool fights but in anime they always get dragged out SOO long and then im just pissed cause i care more about the plot and characters. i prefer the idea of them being perfectly matched for multiple reasons but i guess we’ll never know…probably. idk im still waiting on that death pact thing to come back

u make a good point. about the cocaine. maybe it has to do with haki/willpower. tbh i can see that. the powerful guys are always taller. i think oda just wants them to be intimidating but if we want an in canon explanation…its cause theyre so damn AMBITIOUS !!

i was reading character analysis as a kid but i also thought characters could only be one or the other for way too long. bisexuality of man or whatever

what other ships do i like…i like zosan. obviously. i like dofuwani for similar reasons but I WAS LIED TO AND SHIPPED IT BEFORE I MET THEM AND THOUGHT THEY INTERACTED WAY MORE..OH WELL. i like nami/vivi and kaya/usopp!! and frobin!! buggy and shanks can be cute too. but i dont really CARE much about any of them except zosan. any luffy ship be gone from my sight for aroace reasons. wait add hannyagellan

im ngl hannyagellan is like a funny joke ship to me but if it becomes one of those crack ships u acciddentally get attached to im gonna be so mad (i wont be mad itll be really funny)

ive never heard that but i like that interpretation. god. i think about kuina a lot. i miss her. this is so stupid but i was listening to “slipping through my fingers” by abba and makin amvs in my head of zoro losing kuina and shit…embrassing. and also made me emo. 

hm…im torn on the punk hazard stuff. to me it def felt like a woman thing esp after that comment about robin in skypiea. i think it goes against zoro’s character esp considering UHH KUINA but its yet another symptom of oda’s own biases bleeding into the work. but i would have to watch it again and consider it being a weakness thing. though i feel like he’s had weak men challenge him before that he didnt make a big deal out of not fighting. or maybe i just feel like if it was a guy he wouldnt hesitate as much…im blanking on evidence

2 OUT OF 3 OF MY ROOMATES IN COLEGE WERE ON TECH CREW HAHAHA  they told me about it and made me appreciate it!! i love theatre a lot. i want to go see more. thats the only one ive ever seen and its bc it was for a school trip. my favorite musical ever is cabaret and i watched it all on youtube in several parts jdfnvkfjn (the 1990’s run with alan cumming) i could have been a theatre kid if i was less shy i think.

I AGREE ZORO IS CHOPPERS BROTHER. THANK U. although if we’re talking crew dynamics overall i do not think robin is a mother. she is 100% a cool aunt. and actually not that responsible when it comes to wrangling luffy and crew. franky’s a dad but he’s not THEIR dad. he’s just a dad coded guy who they’re friends with. jinbei gives grandfather even though hes only in his 40’s. brook is weird uncle. nami is a mom. sanji is also a mom. zoro is a big brother and usopp and luffy and chopper are little brothers. 

i made my irl friend get on tungle and she also uses it for kpop purposes lmao. i know very little about kpop but she likes ateez…my other friend likes stray kids…i had a friend who liked shinee and i liked one of their songs…i like a few bts songs…but i will never join that fandom (sorry mack if ur reading this)

i think in terms of like one piece videos i like melonteee, totally not mark, mugiwara no goofy (for laughs) and also these two guys who just shitpost and its really funny

one piece artists,,,so many. wellfine is a big one…i love when ppl draw sanji with a hooked nose and lots of body hair. bluechanas…demonzoro…chvvy…that translation blog i linked earlier. i actually have a lot more but i realized a lot of them are just zosan and i didnt want to subject you to . all that 🧍LMAO. WAIT I FORGOT ONE. THEMETALHIRO. THEIR COMICS ARE SO FUNNY ALL THE TIME

i feel the need to ask a one piece question but i cant think of one rn. uh. uh. do u have any questions. or discussions to start. its ok if u dont!!

also p.s. there is never any pressure to watch any of the videos i link it is more for a sourcing purpose unless u actively want to watch them

I HAVE THAT EXACT IMAGE SAVED IN MY CAMERA ROLL LMAO. to end off here are some of my best (worst) sanji images

[snonkerdoodledreams]

something that happened at a library that made me really uncomfortable

Tw: mentions of child abuse, self harm, nosy people

A few days ago I was discussing something with a friend. This was in the library and there was another friend there.

Let's call my friend Nattie and this other friend Dana.

Basically me and Nattie were sitting together on one side of the table and Dana was sitting on the other side. Nattie doesn't like Dana because they have a tendency to diss other people and look at things they weren't specifically invited to look at. I didn't have any such compunctions against Dana other than the fact that I'm pretty sure they lied about their skill level to get into the orchestra.

A little background about me--I'm extremely hesitant about sharing certain things with my friends (like the reality of the abuse I'm going through, my presence on Tumblr/my fanfiction writing [because that could get back to my mother really quick]) because I shared some of them once and my abusive found the text messages while going through my phone and my sane parent and I had to come up with a whole bunch of excuses really quick. It had to do with my self-harm incident a few months ago.

I had written a Planes fanfic earlier that day which I wasn't planning on sharing with anyone, rather opting for getting home, proofreading, and then publishing. I was putting the final touches on it in the library when Nattie leaned over to see what I was doing. Cut to the worst cover up in history as I attempt to open multiple tabs that are Incognito (because I was working on the fic in Incognito mode) before realizing that Incognito looks sketchy and then attempting to open tabs in my normal account which somehow opens up to the Planes movie and trying in vain to open a window in my school account so that it would look normal. Oh, and during all of this, Dana comes over and tries looking over my shoulder at what is going on. I'm nearly cussing and Nattie is dying of laughter, while Dana (it didn't seem like this to me at the time, but since she did what she did this is what I'll say) seems to be silently judging me. Finally Nattie reaches over and closes my laptop. Dana goes and sits back where they were.

Nattie knew that I was writing something and since I was helping Nattie with the story that they were writing (original), they wanted to see mine.

So I relented, and opened another tab in my browser, typing into the search bar that this was the way we would talk about It because I wasn't really comfortable talking out loud because Dana was there. Nattie understood and typed out some funny things, which led to the both of us typing roasts and stuff out to each other in the search bar.

Remember, this Is all to keep Dana and the rest of the people in the library from knowing what we're talking about. This is the part that nettles me the most--Dana literally comes around and tries to look at what we're typing. I don't remember what happened next because I might have closed the computer or told Dana that this was private. Either way Dana goes to talk to another one of our friends, Rory. Nattie reads the rest of the fic and complains (verbally) about my purple prose and teases me about writing Planes smut (which I didn't do!...yet).

But the thing I am literally absolutely hung up on is what changed my perception and if I'm being honest respect for Dana drastically. Listen, I get it--I'm the kind of person that likes to look at things and gets a little nosy while doing it--Im a serial accidental eavesdropper. But still. I would've thought that even from an outsiders POV it would be obvious that it was private. I mean, why the fuck else would we be typing out messages to each other rather than speaking out loud? I'm just confused as to why Dana tried to come and look over our shoulders at what we were doing--it was clear that it was not for them to see. It just bothers me a lot, especially since I'm already really uncomfortable sharing this stuff and Nattie was the only person I felt comfortable sharing it with.

[lewdiebootyy]

April 24th, 2023.

haii! i come from Reddit, im new here, i just joined yesterday! you may call me Yanti, and my pronouns are she/he :)). i am an nsfw writer with my focus mainly on story, and our build up to the steamy stuff which i equally love. i can roleplay here, or on Discord preferably. im fully/advanced literate and detailed, im unsure how many characters i (can) write, but i can write a large paragraph or split one up multiple ones. ill leave here a roleplay response of mine.

it was a rainy day, the winds blowing at high speeds and making it difficult to travel on foot out here. who would be out here anyways? especially on foot? Kayina. Kayina was out here, on her way to where her stepbrother lived. she knew he hated her, but she had no choice. but why did she choose to go to him instead of back to mom and dad? don’t ask her, she wouldn’t be able to provide you an answer. she had lost her job, and two months behind in rent that soon became three led her to getting evicted. of course it had to be on a bad weather day. she had been kicked out from what was once her own premises and now had to find somewhere to stay, the first person coming to mind being Yasu. the landlord had notified her that she was able to come back and get her stuff when they gave her the okay, promised everything would still be there the way it was. Kayina decided to take this time to see if she could convince Yasu to let her room with him. she really hoped he would, because the circumstances she was in now, she was bound to go downhill even worse very, very soon. the young girl had on but a hoodie that was soaking wet now, her hood up and having all her hair tucked away under it, a few strands hanging out in front of her face. she had her arms wrapped around her, her fingers were numb, so were her toes as she shivered and forced herself against and through the wind. she had her phone, she even tried contacting Yasu but she had absolutely no service whatsoever. it was bad out here, and she was hoping she wouldn’t get swept away at any given moment. all she could think about no was the times she took being warm and under a roof for granted, like when you had a cold with blocked sinuses and reminisced back on the times you could breathe normally. eventually Kayina had made it, stepping in front of his house and double checking the address. she smiled and let out a chuckle. “hah…finally! y-yes..!” she uttered, shaken by the cold. rain and wind didn’t make a pretty mix and she absolutely hated it. she walked up the sidewalk, approaching Yasu’s home and heading up the steps onto the covered porch. finally the rain had stopped pouring on her, but the wind kept pushing so she remained cold. she sighed shakily, reaching her right hand out and ringing his doorbell once. she was rather patient waiting for him to answer when she had all rights to be banging his door down right now, begging to be let in. on top of all of this, it had been 6 years since she has had absolutely any contact with Yasu. she hadn’t even sent a message, received a message, a call, or a letter! this was going to be extremely awkward, what choice did she have though? she did have a possible other and better choice, but Kayina’s heart told her to choose Yasu, and so she did…your heart was the most important thing to follow.

i can write way more than this, it really just depends on the roleplay, the scene, and what im given to work with. so i ask that my partner is fully or advanced lit as well, and gives pretty large responses. im into all sorts of roleplay; drama, angst, fantasy, and medieval. both female and male partners welcome, im a switch and prefer to roleplay with other switches, no one that is a solid position, and im also not a fan of nekos, nonbinary characters, or femboys. i have no issue with anyone who’s any of these (besides nekos maybe) in real life, i just prefer to not roleplay with them. im sorry if this blog is a bit sloppy, as i stated i am new here and just getting the hang of things. i haven’t found my default format yet. lastly, i also wanna ask that you are okay with nsfw/smut, it’s a requirement so if you dislike that then im not the partner for you. i have a kinks & limits and roleplay info post for you to read before messaging me :)), i take this hobby seriously and i want others who do too and just don’t half-ass. you’ll really read if you’re passionate about this. links will be provided below, message me your age with your introduction, and i hope we can become friends <33.

[technowoah]

Can I request a prompt #37 with Karl Jacobs? I love your writing btw :)

Ring(s)

The four times Karl tried to propose and the one time he actually did.

- Karl Jacobs x gen!neutral reader!

- Prompts: 37) "Are you proposing?!"

⚠︎ swearing, fluff, angst if you squint and a rushed ending. I didn't proofread either

an// TYSM FOR LIKING MY WORK 😭ALSO Thanks for requesting and sorry this came out so late! Hope you enjoy :)

To say that Karl loved you was an understatement. He adored you and practically worshipped the ground you stood on. He is so respectful, which is a major upgrade from your other boyfriends, and loves you for who you are. You didn't have to put on a facadè at all during the 3 years you two have dated.

This love wasn't a one way thing. You loved him just as much, or even more, than he did. Everything he did you supported, you were always cheering him on from wherever you were. You were here for the good and the bad, and he was too. You two never shyed away from admiting your love and support. You could write a essay on each thing you love about Karl.

The idea of marriage came up during a late night dinner at Denny's. The idea came so naturally to you, so it surprised Karl that you didn't tense up. Karl was tense when bringing up the topic of marriage, so when you said "Yeah, I wanna get married to you one day." so casually it caught him off gaurd.

You two had already talked about marriage time and time again, but this time Karl wanted to take the initiative. He was ready to get married and since the marriage talk was just a few months ago it was fresh in his mind. Karl could vividly imagine you walking down the aisle towards him looking angelic. He could see everything now and he wanted those daydreams to become a reality. He wanted to physically feel your hands against his as you two say "I do" to one another.

He couldn't stop thinking about settling down in a nice house with you. Karl already bought a ring for you and always has it with him. Now he justs needs to figure out how to tell you.

1st proposal: Fireworks

"THIS IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE FIREWORK IN THE ENTIRE WORLD-"

You blocked out Jimmy's yelling as you sat in a lawn chair in the middle of the woods. Karl had invited you to a MrBeast video shoot because he thought it would be a great early 4th of July. It was late at night and slightly cool outside, so you were wearing a MrBeast hoodie Karl was wearing earlier. You zoned out as the boys talked to the camera over and over again, taking multiple shots.

You found yourself looking at Karl most of the time you sat there and you always caught his gaze towards you. Every time you caught him looking at you, you sent him a small wave or blow him a kiss and every time he sent a shy wave back or sent a more exaggerated kiss back.

During halfway through the shooting you begrudgingly had to move your lawn chair further and further away from your original spot. Karl always checked up on you before and after each firework set were blown up. He has been acting fidgety around you and you didnt know why. When you tried to confront him about it he would always turn away and go back to the boys without a glance back, and his hands in his pockets.

You loved watching the guys play with so many different types of fireworks, this was a great 4th of July for you, but you wished that Karl was sitting next to you feeling the bliss that you were.

You were currently sitting behind bulletproof glass while the guys had a control panel on their lap. Karl kept sending glances towards you and you looked at him and smiled whishing he was next to you and not over by the guys. You knew it was selfish, but he invited you here.

Karl kept bouncing his leg, he kept his hand in his pocket which held the ring. He kept sending glances towards you, knowing he should be on one knee right about now. Jimmy was about to fire off the last rocket of the night and Karl couldn't seem to go over and ask you to marry him. He knew he was hilding himself back which made him hate himself. You deserved a good night and he hoped you enjoyed the fireworks, but he knew on the ride back he would have to apologize.

He stayed with the boys as they went to go see the fireworks they would be setting off soon. Once they came back they were all about to press the button to set off the expensive fireworks they counted down from 5 and he looked towards you. You were standing up with your arms crossed, hopefully shielding yourself from the cold, and looking towards the fireworks that were going to burst. They finally pressed the button the fireworks went off.

Each burst of light in the air sent a glow onto your smiling face. Karl sent a somber glace and marveled in how the explosion of the fireworks sent a beautiful glow around you.

This wasnt the right time. Next time.

2nd proposal: Donuts

"Im sorry for last night." Karl apologized as you both took a seat at a booth by the window at the small coffee and donut shop.

This was supposed to be an apology for the last failed proposal. Instead of spending time with you, he kept his distance which was the opposite of what he really wanted to do. This was a way to spend much needed time with eachother, but this was also another attempt at a proposal.

Karl wanted to hide the ring in the middle of a donut so when you inevitably look at it when he hands it to you, you'll see the ring and then he'll propose right there. To him it seemed flawless.

You never wanted a huge proposal. You didnt want that much attention on you when your future significant other would propose. Something simple would be the ideal proposal and you've hinted that many times to Karl and right now he was listening. There were only two other couples in the small diner because others were picking up donuts and leaving. If he decided to get down on one knee it would cause a scene.

You stayed silent for a moment looking at Karl before deciding to speak.

"It's no problem. Please dont stress out about it." You smiled softly and he smiled back at you. "I mean the fireworks were beautiful, but you all were screaming too much."

You both laughed as you both recalled that night in the desert.

"Yeah I just didn't..I didn't really talk to you all night. I feel bad." Karl said fiddling with his hands.

"Its in the past Karl. And I still know you love me." You reached out to grab both of his hands and hold his cool hands in yours.

"I do love you." He whispered for only you to hear leaving both of you smiling ear to ear.

"What kind of donuts you want?" Karl asked looking into your eyes carefully.

You thought about it for a while before speaking up. "I'll keep it simple. Icing with sprinkles. Surprise me with the icing color!" You exclaimed while letting go of his hands for a second.

Once you two let go of eachothers hands he immediately went to his pocket and played with the velvet box. He nodded his head and without a word he stood up to meet the cashier behind the display box of donuts. He ordered only one donut as you said with orange icing this time.

He paid for the food and stayed at the counter where he paid. Karl looked back to see if you were paying attention to him only to see you looking out the window at the people passing by. Karl smiled at the sight knowing he really wants to marry you one day and then he looked down at the glistening ring inside of the box.

Karl was supposed to put the ring in the middle of the donut that was laying alone on a napkin on the counter. He started to think of the possibilities of what could happen. What if you didn't see the ring and crumble the ring with the napkin and throw it away? What if you accidentally put the ring in your mouth? What if you weren't hungry anymore?

He looked over again to where you were looking at him giving him the same smile you gave during the fireworks. Karl sighed and once again closed the box with the ring. He was a coward and he knew that.

Karl picked up the donut from the counter and made his way over to you.

"Here's your donut with sprinkles and orange icing!" Karl exclaimed putting emphasis on the 'orange' part.

"Thanks babe!" You smiled as he sat down across from you. "Wait, you didn't get anything for yourself?"

Karl sighed again for what seemed like the 100th time today and put on a smile. "I ended up not being as hungry as I thought I was."

"Well I could always share!" You started to eat your donut as Karl ended up looking outside.

Unbeknownst to you he was thinking of another way to propose without himself getting in his own head.

He'll find a time.

3rd proposal: Livestream

"Chat! As you can see I have my significant other here with me!" Karl exclaimed to his Twitch following.

You were sat next to him in another one of his office chairs with a blanket across your lap. You loved to join Karl's streams, the last couple of time you two played minecraft, gang beats, played on the nitendo switch for a while, but this time he didn't tell you what games you two would be playing. Karl just told you to come over tonight and ended up asking to join him for a stream last minute.

Now you are here next to him as Karl glows with excitement as he streams to his growing followers. You loved how he interacted with his fans and had a genuine connection with them, but sometimes that strong connection can, and has led to some nights where you had to stay the night and comfort him from his inner demons and the internet. Those nights made you love him even more, the vulnerability he gave to you made you comfortable with him.

It seems like the more time you spend eith him the more you want to officially get married. You didn't want to rush him because you soon figured out for yourself that there is no rush to express your love, which you two do everyday day. You two can get eloped in Vegas and you'll be happy, as long as you can spend the rest of your life with the man you love.

Karl kept sending glances towards you throughout the stream hoping you were having fun with the chill, q and a stream. Again he wanted to propose to you tonight during the stream. He loved showing your relationship whenever he could and whenever you would allow him to. His community also loved you the moment you became his significant other, so hopefully this will be a beautiful moment.

You talked to his chat as he contemplated, again, about whether to propose tonight. It wasn't infront of people, it was infront of a screen and it would be on Twitter in less than a week. This would be a good moment, but then again he wanted this moment to be between you two and he couldn't find the right time nor the right "moment".

As the stream continues you ended up wrapping yourself fully in the blanket and lying your head on his shoulder. You both cuddled eachother while you two answered questions. Karl kissed the top of your head and finally collected all of his thoughts.

He didn't need to propose to officially claim his love to you. Karl knew you both loved eachother to the ends of the Earth and back. There's no need for ceremony and the one day he will propose, he know it will come naturally. There is no need to force it, and now he wont.

Only time will tell.

4th proposal: spongebob

"Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

Aye, aye, captain!

Oh!"

The TV illuminated the comfortable, dark room you two were in. You were lying on the couch with Karl with the blanket you had while streaming. It was late at night after the stream and you two ended up watching re-runs of spongebob. Karl sang along to the theme song softly while you hummed along. This was the 4th episode you both watched this night and it was a great way to end the week.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Karl asked softly with tiredness in his voice.

"Of couse. Im too tired to move, so thanks for offering." You chuckled.

"You're welcome here anytime." Karl yawned and squeezed your sides. "Do you want popcorn?"

"Hell yeah." You got off of Karl as he walked to the kitchen.

He put the bag into the microwave and leaned back onto the kitchen counter as he waited. Karl looked over to the side and saw a empty vase which was next to the velvet box he was carrying with him this whole week. He shook his head and laughed to himself before getting the popcorn out of the microwave, dumping it in a bowl and walking back to see you taking up the whole couch.

"Move over or I'll sit on you." Karl said standing above her.

"Is that a promise?" You teased.

"Okay then!" He turned around and began to slowly and dramatically fake sitting ontop of you.

You began to laugh and try to push him off of you. You successfully got him to sit down and returned to your previous position, but this time with popcorn.

"I love you, you know that?" You hummed into his chest.

"Yeah, and I love you more."

"I love you most."

"I love you mostest." Karl laughed.

"That's not a word." You smiled.

"I love you so much I made up a word for ya." Karl kissed you head and you hugged him tighter.

"You know what?" Karl chuckled. "I love you so much that I tried to propose to you 3 times this week."

Karl finished and you sat up from your spot looking surprised. Karl sat up as well thinking he made a mistake telling you. He was abkut to apologize, but you beat him to speak.

"Oh my gosh!" You exhaled.

"Look, I'm sorr-"

"Are you proposing?!" You exclaimed with a smile on your face.

"Huh-?"

Karl was surprised just like you were before. He remembered that he wanted the Maybe this was the moment he needed this week.

Karl grabbed both of your hands and caressed them both, looking into your eyes. "I was planning to all week. But now I think this is a good moment. So Y/N? Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will!" You enveloped him into a tight hug and peppered his face with kisses. He finally found his moment and he couldn't be happier.

"You said you tried to propose three other times?" You questioned. "When was that?"

"Its a long story."

[descendantofthesparrow]

Protective P2 - Harry Hook x reader - commission work

(gif by Val on twitter) 

Protective p1 (OG version, bad writing made in early 2019)

Protective p1 (V2 REWRITTEN VER made in October 2020)

commissioned by @thebookbakery

=

You stared wide-eyed at the letter held in your eyes; sent, written, and signed by King Ben himself.

Dear Mr. Harry Hook and Ms. (y/n) of the isle. His Royal Majesty, King Ben of Auradon, and his Councilor Ms. Evie of the Isle, hereby request the pleasure of your company, for the upcoming academic year at Auradon prep. Please notify his Majesty’s couriers of your response to this request.

-we’d love to have you three with us here in Auradon, you and your child deserve a better life, will you come? If you accept you will be picked up one week from your response date and will live in the dorms until graduation. - King Ben

It had been around two months since the whole ‘kidnapping ben for the wand’ situation, and Ben had not been able to get you, Harry, and your baby off his mind. And before anybody else could stop him; he made the arrangements for the three of you to live in Auradon, and sent the very invitation you were holding now.

You stood from the barrel you were sitting on and walked into your shared room with Harry, holding up the letter as he looked up from feeding Arella. “what’s up-“ he paused as you turned the letter around and let him read it. His eyes went wide “holy shit, is-is that fer real?!” he stood, gently moving Arella into your arms and taking the latter, reading it over and over again “holy shit it's real-we-i-you…” he looked back up at you, reaching out for your free hand and intertwined your fingers “should we do this?”

You thought about it for a moment, then looked down at Arella, smiling as she played with your jacket straps “yes…yes we should” you smiled up at Harry, who seemed unsure of this decision but he would follow you into oblivion.

“Okay, I trust yeh” he mumbled, kissing your lips and then Arella’s head.

-

Only a week later, you and Harry were packing the last of your things up to leave for Auradon, Gil had been invited as well, already at the other end of the tunnel to wait for the limo with Dizzy; who had also been invited.

Harry slung his bag over his shoulder and picked Arella up off his bed, cradling her carefully in his arms and leading the way out of his room and onto the main deck, where the rest of the crew were waiting.

They all said their goodbyes, Desiree and Drey cooing at Arella and Harry let crew say their personal goodbyes to her. Bonnie squeezing you tightly as you patted her head “stay safe you two” Jonas mumbled, patting Harry’s shoulder as he took Arella from him “and take care of the pirate princess” you and Harry nodded, the crew waving goodbye as you walked off the docks through the tunnel.

You stood with Gil and Dizzy a few moments later, waiting anxiously for the arriving Limo. And behold a minute later it pulled up, the driver stepping out and unlocking the back, helping the four of you load up. Harry took all your bags and stuffed them in the trunk, Dizzy sliding into the car first and taking Arella for you to get in easier.

Harry and Gil soon got in and Harry slid next to you, wrapping one arm around you and the other on Arella, rubbing his thumb on her chest as her tiny little hand curled around his forefinger hanging from your shoulder. “we ready?” Harry whispered, leaning in close to you. You nodded with a nervous smile and Harry kissed your cheek “let’s do this”

-

Two hours later the limo pulled up to Auradon prep, where Ben, Evie, Carlos, Jay, and Ben’s mother all stood ready to welcome the four of you. Dizzy bolted out first as soon as the door open and leaped into Evie’s arms, the two squealing with each other in excitement at Dizzy finally being in Auradon.

You weren’t surprised Mal wasn’t there, she didn’t trust or like Harry or Gil at all and probably felt betrayed by you for siding with Uma after she left.

Ben stepped forward as you, Harry, and Gil climbed out of the car, holding a sleeping Arella in your arms. Evie and Belle immediately went soft at the sight of her but kept their composer as Ben stepped forward with a smile “Welcome to Auradon: Ben said happily, clapping his hands together “first I want to apologize it took so long, and second; thank you for accepting my invitation. I know it was hard to make that choice in both trusting me and leaving behind the isle and your family” you knew he meant the crew “but I promise they will soon follow and now;” he gestured back to the dorm building “let’s get you all set up.” You nodded, letting Evie step closer and coo over Arella.

“oh she’s so cute~” Evie giggled, pressing her fingers into Arella’s (not as pudgy as it should be) cheek softly, your baby girl gurgled and pushed Evie’s hand away, Evie laughing quietly at it “oh I love her already…(y/n)?” you hummed, not looking at her as you followed Ben through the halls of the building “im sorry I left you”

You looked into her eyes, softening a bit as you could only see sincerity in her eyes. “i-“ you started, lifting Arella in your arms a bit, her head cradled in your arm. “i-…don’t forgive you, not just yet but” you smiled at her as her face fell but rose in hope at the ‘but’ “we can start with being friends again?” Evie beamed and nodded, looking over at Jay and Carlos who were letting Evie talk to you first before they tried “and them too, I can tell they want to apologize…Mal thought” Evie winced at that, yeah; Mal would probably take a long time to come around. She had even cussed (y/n) out at the hideout after Evie the boys told her about (y/n)s relationship with Harry and her position on the crew.

‘she betrayed us as soon as we left! We can't trust her! Or Harry! they might lead Uma right into Auradon to destroy it!’

To say the least, Evie and the boys distanced themselves from Mal; after seeing her very narrow tunnel vision, they didn’t want to hear her bitch about (y/n) and Harry’s arrival at Auradon.

Evie hoped she would come around soon though; she missed the days of the five of them running around causing chaos. But reminiscing about the wicked old days could be saved for later, as Ben had led the group to one of the dorm rooms.

“Harry, (y/n)?” Ben called, Harry humming and looking up from Arella as he made faces at her “this will be your dorm room” Harry looked surprised at that, he had expected the dorms to separate them but-

Ben opened the door to reveal a large room, two full-sized beds by the windows (that could be easily pushed together), a crib, a newly installed mini kitchen with a working stovetop, a large dresser (two actually) flowing with baby blankets, baby clothes (designed by Evie), toys, baby food, diapers, wipes, anything a young parent could ask for.

“guys” your voice cracked as you walked into the room, Arella already reaching for the teal octopus plush sitting in her new crib “this is-i-holy shit!” Harry walked up behind you, resting his hands on your shoulders as he looked around the room with watery eyes.

“I don’ know wha’ ta say” Harry croaked out, turning back to Ben; who just smiled.

“a thank you would be nice” Ben joked then waved it off “we’ll let you settle in, Gil, Dizzy?” the two turned to Ben, who waved them out of the room “I’ll show you to your rooms” Gil gave you and Harry a hug and kissed Arella’s forehead, running out of the room after Ben and the others as he closed the door.

“we’re actually here” you breathed out after a moment of silence, slowly spinning around the room. “actually in Auradon”

“aye,” Harry muttered, noticing your bags had already been brought into the room “kinda weird we’re not ‘ere ta destroy it” you chuckled, handing Arella to him and checking over her new items, Harry cooing at her and lifting her into the air, her adorable baby babble echoing around the room.

A few hours later, everything had been unpacked and set up, Arella was dressed in one of her new outfits, of course, designed by Evie; a tiny red jacket that copied Harrys iconic one, black shorts, booties, and a white t-shirt with a spray paint hook on the front. “hi darling” Harry cooed, kissing his daughters cheek multiple times as she giggled “ah yeh look so badass~”

You laughed at his adorable behavior with your kid and walked over to him, slipping on one of your new jackets from Evie and kissing his cheek “and you are so cute” Harry flushed but accepted the compliment, bringing Arella to his chest and enveloping her in his arms as you grabbed Arella’s dinner. “come on, Ben said we were going out for dinner tonight” Harry hummed, grabbing a baby sling and putting it on, then slipping Arella inside.

-

You sighed, setting down your book bag next to the door and closing it with your foot. You appreciated the fact that FG gave you and Harry only four classes a day (and switched the two of you off so Harry took care of her in the afternoon while you took the morning shift) so you could attend to Arella more often than not but that didn’t prevent you from being exhausted from them.

You looked up and cooed, Harry was on your now connected beds, asleep with Arella sleeping on his chest, his arms curled around her safely. you quickly took a picture with your phone and sent it to Evie, who immediately sent back several heart-eye emojis.

You put your phone on the table and walked over to the bed, carefully climbing on and resting your chin on Harry’s shoulder, reaching up and caressing Arella’s soft cheek. Harry grumbled as he felt you and took one of his arms off of Arella and wrapped it around you, pulling you even further into his side “afternoon my love” you mumbled, leaning up and kissing his cheek “how’d she do?”

“ ‘ad a lil’ tantrum afta’ yeh left, missed ‘er mommy but” he yawned in the middle of his sentence and pushed his cheek onto your head “she did good, fell asleep ‘bout n’ ‘our ‘go”

You hummed and rubbed your thumb on Arella’s chest, she hadn’t even moved in the few minutes you had been on the bed “that’s good, did she eat her lunch?” Harry sleepily nodded and was already falling asleep again, following Arella’s lead.

You stared at the two loves of your life, and you thanked whatever gods that had intervened in your life to let you meet Harry almost two years ago and saved you from meeting a bad end with the Gaston twins. And then you had fallen for him and fallen for him hard. And you didn’t regret going behind your friend's backs to be with him; not if it resulted in the greatest thing you had ever made, that was sleeping on his chest.

-end-

so this was a commissioned 2nd part to one of my very first stories i posted on here back in 2019, that was rewritten in late 2020 and i never planned to continue it, but i was commissioned to do so and im happy with how it turned out~!!!! :3

permtaglist!

@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​ @lunanight2012​

@daughter-of-the-stars11​ @musicarose​ @random-thoughts-003​

@remembered-license​ @rintheemolion​ @imtryingthisout​

@thecaptainsgingersnap​ @jatp-rules-my-life​ @verboetoperee​

@saryguerrero​

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝��𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞❞ ─ 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨

hey, it's not like you ever tried to stay . .

❥ content ; gn reader, angst, dark themes, yandere themes, toxic relationship

❥ warnings ; sxlf hxrm & mxtilation, swearing, verbal abuse, manipulation, slight nxdity lol

❥ synopsis ; all you wanted was his attention. and by the gods, you were going to get his attention by any means.

❥ a/n ; first mello fic (: i've been wanting to write something dark for a while and ig i finally got the opportunity lol. i thought i got out of my death note stage but i'm back, so please don't be afraid to send requests or ask to be added to my nonexistent taglist! alsoo while this oneshot does include s/h, i am in no way glorifying or romanticizing it!!! but i do tend to write angsty and dark fics. again, this is a work of fiction and i don't intend for anyone to take this too seriously and let this influence them.

The loud crash of a glass echoed throughout the room as a vase went flying through the air and collided with the wall, just a few feet from where you were standing.

You didn't flinch. Didn't scream. Didn't cry. Didn't react. You were used to Mello's fits of rage by now, months into your relationship. If you could even call it that, at this point.

You knew Mello wouldn't dare lay a finger on you; if he did, he'd cut off his own hands and have live with the guilt forever, knowing he brought you harm. Which is why you didn't react.

However, he didn't seem to have a problem when it was only verbal.

"I don't fucking get you!" Mello spat harshly and continued to rant, "Why did you think that was okay?! Did you once consider how I felt?! I was worried sick that some asshole hurt you but you come back a day later and tell me you were at some boy's house!"

You only scoff, leaning against the wall in a relaxed manner, eyeing the remaining shards of the vase carefully. Just like Mello, you were incredibly stubborn.

"Answer me, Y/N!"

"Okay, Mihael," you state cooly, using Mello's legal name and causing him to listen more intently. "First of all, I don't know what you expected me to do when you invited your weird mafia 'friends' over while I was trying to sleep. Second, he's not 'some boy', his name is Y/F/N and he's one of a few people I can trust. I don't know what you think of me."

"You could've gotten a hotel room, that's what!"

"With what money, Mihael?! What fucking money? You forced me to quit my job and then practically lock me up in this hell hole that I can't even call 'home' anymore!"

Mello huffed. "Pfft, you should be grateful. I've kept you safe all this time, away from the dangers of the world. You're alive because of me. Me. You're mine."

"Yeah, some fucking life, right?"

"I provide for you, I protect you from the monsters out in the world, but you still decide to go and whore yourself out to your little 'friend'," Mello sneered, his sharp voice dripping with venom.

You stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. All words, all arguments and nasty retorts expiring on your lips.

"I.." You start, but laugh pitifully. "I don't even know what you're saying. I don't know if you even know what you're saying. Honestly, Mello, just when I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore, you start spewing complete and utter bullshit out of your mouth." Mello's silence only egged you on. "It's no wonder Near always came in first place." Aaand there it was. You snapped.

If looks could kill, you'd be dead. Mello's eyes widened in anger at the mention of Near, reminding him of his inferiority.

In a completely different situation where he wasn't on the receiving end, Mello would be smiling proudly, listening to your clever retorts and comebacks. You've always been as stubborn and hot headed as him, and he really liked that about you, fuck that "opposites attract" bullshit. (I ACC LOVE THAT TROPE LOL IM SORRY) However, considering you were both extremely toxic people, it was far from entertaining when it was you who got in a fight with the other.

You didn't stop, though. If he was gonna play that who-could-be-more-toxic game, you weren't gonna back down.

"I don't know if it was the explosion or you've really always been that stupid, but you need to get the fuck over yourself and stop throwing tantrums when you find out that I have a life, too, and I have friends. Friends who actually give a damn."

You stare down each other in silence, a heavy tension hanging in the air. Still, after a few moments, Mello didn't make any effort to speak or react, other than walking out of the room.

Days, weeks went by. Mello hasn't spoken a word to you. Hasn't even looked in your direction when you passed each other or walked into the same room. You didn't exist anymore, and it worried you.

Mello was never like this. Within a few days or even hours after an argument, you would easily kiss and make up. Had you gone too far this time?

Besides the fact that Mello was intentionally giving you the cold shoulder, he was also busy with work, and was out of the house from midnight to early afternoon. During that time, you would stay at home and carry out your every day mundane tasks and chores.

Even now, you didn't seek comfort in your family or friends. You were either busy keeping the house clean, sleeping, or entertaining yourself on social media. But it was all a sad attempt to keep your mind occupied on anything else other than Mello.

And one day like any other where Mello was out doing whatever the hell mafia dudes do, you snapped. You decided you were sick of the silent treatment.

If Mello was gonna play dirty and ignore you, you were gonna give him something to react to.

Mello came home some time after sunset. Kicking off his boots as he walked in the front door, he immediately knew something was off. It was quiet - too quiet. Despite the fact that you were practically taking some sort of forced break after the argument, you acted the same. You went about your day and didn't bother acting shy or timid around Mello. You still hummed earworm pop songs to yourself or put on a podcast to fill the tense air. But now there was nothing. Just Mello, the walls, and the silence.

Mello cautiously walked around the house and searched for any signs of you, fearing the worst.

As he frantically looked around, he stopped abruptly at the sight of blood smeared onto the hallway wall.

Blood.

His heartbeat began to thump loudly in his ears.

Then he noticed more blood. And more, smeared up on the wall, and eventually a trail picked up. He followed the bloody trail as it lead him through the hallway and stopped outside of your shared bedroom that he hasn't been inside for weeks.

Mello shakily inhaled and braced himself for whatever gruesome scene he would walk into.

He reached for the doorknob, twisting it and letting himself in.

Soon as he did, he ceased all motions, his breath caught in his throat as he tried to process what his eyes were showing him.

There, you sat on the bed, nothing on but your underwear and one of Mello's shirts. On one hand, you loosely held a pocket knife. On the other, you had your sleeve rolled up, your inner arm facing Mello's direction.

Your doe eyes looked up from the floor and met Mello's panicked ones. He was finally looking at you again. Despite the gorey setting and the stinging in your arm, you smiled. You were real to him again.

Multiple cuts oozed blood and trickled down your arm, onto your now dirtied clothes and the once satin white sheets below you.

As Mello got closer, silently freaking out, he could now see that these weren't just cuts - you carved out words. Sentences, onto your arm.

Among the many bloody 'I love you's' and pleads, one word stuck out to him.

It was his name.

He felt sick. Distraught. Guilty. Afraid.

"Y/N," he choked out shakily.

His gaze trailed up your arm, your body, and fixated onto your seemingly innocent face. Your face was rested and gentle, your eyes still staring up at him with adoration and desperation. If it weren't for the blood that painted your whole body and surroundings red, he would have found comfort in your presence.

"I did this.." You ran your fingers along your fresh wounds, not once wincing or drawing back in discomfort. "For you."

You continued, a sick sweetness in your voice. "Jus' wanted to show you how much I love you.. You've been leaving me so lonely, Mello." You frowned. "It was only a matter of time before I had to do something. And now you're finally here.. And you won't leave me again."

[katieebaby1096]

A/N: this pic posted by @kylorenxreader inspired me to write this fic. At first it was a one shot but I’ve decided to make it multiple chapters! I hope you all enjoy!

You find yourself getting into trouble with the commander and eventually end up in a sticky situation.

Warning: explicit content, smut, lack of aftercare, read at your own discretion.

18+ only

Eternal Shine Pt. 1

There’s just something about Her

You’d been with the First Order for a whole year now and it wasn’t going quite how you thought it’d be. The first month or two passed by seemingly boring, however as more time went on and you long to catch attention from a man, the only attention you’d gotten yourself is from the commander himself. You’d managed to get yourself in trouble with Commander Ren 9 times between the third and fourth month. It all started when one night on a raid you had accidentally shot a civilian who was resisting arrest. The commander had stopped dead in his tracks and as if reading your mind he stormed up to you and said, “you feel bad and regret shooting a traitor girl?”

“No, commander Ren, sir!” You quickly replied.

“You can’t lie to me..KT-8696. Report to captain phasma after we land to receive your punishment for disrespecting your Commander.” He hissed in his mechanical voice.

After receiving 5 lashings and 2 days of cleaning duty you’d tried your best to shape up but it seemed at least twice a week you’d managed to stumble into trouble with the commander. It’d been nearly two weeks with no instances of trouble and you’d had a feeling that whole day that something was amiss. You were walking down the hallway, making your way to the dining hall barely paying attention when you had ran into what felt like a wall. Looking up, you find yourself looking into the maskless face of none other than a very angry looking Commander Kylo Ren.

“You really just can’t stay out of my way can you? You stupid girl,” he spat at you as he backed you into the wall, you remained speechless.

“I think you like getting in trouble hmm? Not getting enough attention? The lashings just not teaching you anything?” His hand reached out to tightly grasp your throat.

“No sir, I don’t mean to cause you trouble,” you barely croaked out before trying to gulp in more air. You were taking in his appearance as he processed what you’d said. He had beautiful amber colored eyes, a big nose, plump red lips and creamy skin decorated by a few slight beauty marks. He was stunningly beautiful and as his hand tightened more completely cutting off your air you felt a heart blossom in your core. If this is how you go then at least you’ll die looking at the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. A sadistic grin shaped on his lips then.

“This is getting you off,” he let out a quiet chuckle before removing his grip and grasping onto the hair on the back of your head, “alright then, whore, I’ll teach you a little lesson myself,” He whispered almost to himself as he pulled you along down the hallway.

Several minutes and two elevator rides later and you were being pulled through a big black door and thrown to the floor.

“Stand up,” he demanded.

“I’m sorry Sir, I just don’t understand..?” He quickly moved to stand over you and crouched to grasp you by your throat again.

“You are going to be my little pet tonight. I can sense your arousal, practically smell your pussy dripping into your panties.” He let go of your neck and offered you his hand to help you stand.

“Take off your clothes,” you did as he instructed, slowly removing each item of armor and clothing until you were left standing in your white thong. His eyes roamed over your thick hips and thighs, up to your small waist and large breasts then stopped on your face. You had let your fingers linger in the waistband of your thong nervously.

“These as well sir?” You’d asked meekly. His lip quirked up on one side showing a dimple in his cheek as he slowly nodded

“Those too.”

“Yes sir,” you whispers hesitantly. He sat there observing your fair, freckled face as you pushed your thong passed your hips and let them drop to your feet. He had only ever seen you with your helmet on, Kylo hadn’t any clue how beautiful you were or how curvaceous your small body was.

“Go lay on the bed,” he instructed pointing to the bed situated directly in front of the window.

You obeyed willingly plopping down on the extremely neat sheets and laying back, letting my knees fall apart instinctively.

“Look at you, I can see your juices glistening as it drips from your pretty little cunt.” He spoke firmly as he sauntered to you and dropped down on the bed over you, pulling your legs into his hands.

“Do you want me to touch you, girl?”

“Yes sir!” He smiled widely at my gasping response.

“Good,” he whispered before leaning back on his heels and pushing your legs forward so your ass and pussy were in perfect height with Kylos face. You could practically feel his breath on your wet, virgin cunt as he looked at it drip. You felt his large nose nudge your clit, eliciting a moan from deep within you.

“You smell so sweet, let’s see how you taste shall we?” He licked a wide, wet stripe from your clit down to your entrance as he looked down into your eyes, surprise striking his his features as his tongue begins to enter you.

“A virgin hmm? today must be your lucky day,” he said as he released your ankles and moved to lay beside you. His hand goes to your neck before sliding down between your breasts, over the slight swell of your chubby belly and dives between your thighs to cup your sensitive mound.

“Im not going to promise I’ll be gentle but I’ll try to make it as comfortable as possible,” he said with a dark look in his eyes.

“Yes sir,” was all you could manage to get passed your lips.

His fingers slipped into your delicate, silky folds making slow circles around your clit. He leaned in close and put his soft lips on your aggressively when he pushed a finger into your pulsating hole. Pulling back he looked into your eyes while starting to slowly pump his finger in and out. You could help but let out soft moans as the heat in your core grew.

“Look at me,” he demanded. Once you obliged he plunged a second finger into you pushing and pulling faster. You felt yourself tense up and wince at the intrusive feeling. He must’ve noticed as he slowed his pace and began massaging your clit with his thumb. The heat within was growing quickly now as Kylo pulled moans and groans from your lips that you didn’t know were possible. His head dropped to the crook of your neck and began sucking at the sensitive skin, “oh, Kylo, it feels so..” you could even get the words out as your pussy began to pulsate on his fingers. He pulled away then and looked at you writhing under him as you climbed closer to the edge, “ready for another one?” You gripped his bicep tightly as he inserted a third finger and quickening his pace.

“I want you to come hard on my fingers, you don’t want to disappoint your commander do you princess?” You shook your head as more moans left you, you were teetering on the edge now.

“I want to cum for you sir!” You whined out, “please sir, please make me cum!” You begged.

He pulled his fingers from you then and stood up.

“Wait, I thought..” you mumbled out, embarrassed at how desperate you must have sounded.

“On your knees trooper,” he commanded.

“Yes sir,” you scrambled to your knees as he approached you. He stopped just in front of you, crotch just in front of your face.

“Undress me,” he demanded, gesturing to his clothes.

“Yes sir,” you wasted no time practically ripping his clothes off until he stool in front of you, naked, letting his long and thick cock poke you.

“Get back on the bed, hands and knees.”

You happily obliged, ignoring the pestering nerves causing your hands to shake. You posed yourself as he’d commanded and waited for contact, not expecting the sharp slap he gave to your right ass cheek.

“Count.”

“One.” You blurted out.

Smack.

“Two.”

Smack

“Three.” His smacks got more intense as he kept going.

Smack.

“Four!” You’d wailed out this time.

Smack.

“Five!” You cried out, clenching your thighs together at his harshest hit.

“Good girl,” he spoke lowly now as he rubbed the redness of your cheek. You felt his hand on the center of your back pushing you towards the mattress.

“Are you ready?” He asked, rubbing the head of his cock along your folds getting it wet with your juices.

“Yes sir,” you whispered.

He pushed into you then going in all the way until he couldn’t go any deeper, letting out a deep groan at your loud gasp. He rested there for a minute letting you adjust before pulling all the way out and slamming right back in and repeating this over a few times. You bit your lip drawing blood to keep from howling at the burning sensation from the stretch. He abruptly stopped his movements and you felt his hand snake into the back of your hair and he pulled you back into him, letting go of your hair to wrap his arm around your waist and travel between your breasts to rest on your neck.

“I’m going to make you cum on my cock,” he whispered into your ear as his other hand snaked down to your mound rubbing quick circles on your clit. He began to pound into you again holding your back against his chest drawing you back to an orgasm, you slick making each thrust easier and feel so much better. His fingers on your clit and his cock pulsing in and out of you bringing you right to the edge, “I know your close princess. I’m gonna cum in this pussy while you cum on this cock!”

“Oh Kylo, it feels so good,” you blurt out, “I’m gonna-I think I’m gonna cum sir! Please make me cum!” His pace became almost murderous as he pounded into you, rubbing your clit furiously, “cum-oh god- fuck your so fucking tight- fuck fuck fffffuck! Cum on this cock right now!” He growled into your ear, pushing you over the edge.

“Ohhhhhh! Gods yes! Thank you commander sir! Oh fuck!” You yelped out. He helped you ride out your orgasm before he pulled out of you. You looked over to see him putting his underwear and pants on before throwing your clothes and armor at you.

“Get dressed and get out. Next time you give me trouble, I won’t be so nice.” With that he left you to get dressed. You’d waddled back to your quarters that night with mixed feelings of loneliness and pride. Unbeknownst to you, Kylo Ren had waited til you left to take his clothes back off and stumble into his bed and replay everything he’d just done. He laid there under his strewn about sheets that smelled of peaches and cherry blossom just as you had, thinking about how beautiful you were. You had the most beautiful eyes that he’d swear had eternal shine that he’d never forget.

There was something about you that drew him to you. He just couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he intended to figure it out.

—-

It had been a month since your last interaction with the commander and you were feeling confident. In that time you’d managed to go on 3 dates with a guy named RC-2242, youd even gone so far as to let him into your bed. Unfortunately for you he was nothing like Kylo Ren, he had a rather small cock and he didn’t know jack about pleasing a woman. Of course after a month of staying out of the commanders way you were bound to run into him. Unfortunately it happened to be on a night that you’d gone out with good ole RC-2242. The two of you were nestled into a booth having a drink when you’d felt his eyes on you, sure enough there he was across the bar in all his masked glory but you could still feel his honey eyes boring into you. All you could muster was an awkward smile and wave. Before you even knew he had stomped over to your table, “KT-8696, please report to my office immediately.” He stomped out of the bar without another glance in your direction.

“Well,” you sighed,”I suppose I probably found myself some trouble somehow. I hope you can excuse me, I’ve got to go.”

“Of course! The commander is not someone I’d keep waiting!” He replied coolly before kissing your hand and watching you go.

What could I have possibly done now?

I’ve stayed out of his way, haven’t even seen him in a month for goodness sake!

Your mind ran wild as You made your way to the commanders office. Trying to think of things you might’ve done to upset him. It hit you then as You arrived in front of his office door. He’d seen you out with RC-2242. Just as you’d stopped about to know the door slid open revealing a maskless Kylo Ren with a very nasty look on his face.

“You and I need talk,” he said seriously, anger radiating from his glare on the small purple bruise at the base of your neck.

[kenmasgameboy]

May I ask for 61 and 2 were Iwaizumi cheated on the reader, and Oikawa knew but never told the reader even tho they were best friends. And she leaves them behind. Cause fuck cheaters. Angsty angst please!

bruh the way this shit made me FEEL WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU UGH im SAD. also i ended up writing SO MUCH for this omg. I loved this prompt a lot more than i thought i did. I think i put into it what i wish i said to my ex who cheated on me with my best friend. fuck!! cheaters!!

TW: arguments, long distance relationship, cheating and betrayal, swear words.

2. “When did you stop loving me?”

61. “You don’t smile anymore.”

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓

You had known these boys for ages. Looking at Oikawa and Iwaizumi made you feel like you were home. Iwaizumi, the man that would send you into the heavens and make you feel safe beyond any amount of doubt. You don’t remember a time when you weren’t in love with him. You don’t remember a time when you weren’t with your best friends.

But recently things are different. University made everything hard and it was like a wall had been driven between you and your happiness. The first year was the hardest, you would call Iwaizumi every night or every other night in the pain of being so far away from someone you loved so much. You’d keep things under control though, you never wanted to worry him. You thought you knew him, that if you exposed how you really felt he’d march down there in an instant. But then somewhere around a month or two into this, he stopped answering. He’d still text you in the mornings, so you didn’t give it much thought and instead turned your attention to your best friend, Oikawa.

Both of them were on the other side of the world from you. Oikawa was away in Argentina, and he still made time to talk to you. Iwaizumi was all the way in California, just doing university and not a university student and a professional volleyball team like Oikawa was. He was a completely different person than you used to know.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Oikawa looked over at you after about a 5-minute long pause of silence in your conversation. You were staring at your phone. You took in a deep sigh. Iwaizumi hadn’t texted in two days.

“Nothing, I’m sure it’s nothing.” You brushed it off, trying your hardest to hide those tears that threatened to sting you and fall down.

“You can tell me, right? Is it something at school? Have you made any friends?” Oikawa asked you. Reaching his hand out and laying his head against his bicep. 

“A few.” You shrugged.

“Y/N-chan, I don’t want to sound like Iwa, but I’m worried about you. You don’t smile anymore. Have you thought about going home for a few days?” He offered as a possible solution.

“I don’t want to go home if you guys aren’t there.” You grumbled, “But I was Hajime’s thanksgiving break is coming up next month, I was thinking about surprising him since I know he’ll have a week off with nothing to do.”

“I’m offended you aren’t coming to visit me!” Oikawa whined.

“I will when you finally give yourself a break!” You teased, “Plus, honestly he hasn’t texted me in days. I know it sounds stupid, we’ve been together for years, but I feel like I need to see him. Something just doesn’t feel right.”

“I think you should. But maybe you should tell him you’re coming before you go?” Oikawa suggested. Fiddling with his hair in between his index finger and thumb. 

“No way, that takes all the fun out! You said it yourself you hadn’t seen me smile recently. This will give me a reason to smile. Once I go there and we figure everything out, I’ll have my reasons again. Just please don’t tell him! I don’t want to get his hopes up and if I suddenly can’t afford it or something then he’d be disappointed.” You begged your friend, and he solemnly nodded before needing to leave.

You kept to your plan. You got on that long flight to California, landing alone and getting a uber to your boyfriend's apartment. You were so thankful you guys swapped sharing locations before leaving, it made this so much easier. You got to the door and fixed yourself nice and pretty before pulling out your phone and recording. You wanted to keep his face of surprise forever.

You knocked on the door, but the person who was surprised was you. A woman opened the door in a towel. Your face dropping.

“Is this Iwaizumi’s apartment?” You had one last shred of hope in you, you had one last string of hope in you. Please, anything but this.

“Oh my god! Wait you’re Y/N right? Hajime and Tooru always talk about you.” She smiled widely, offering her hand to you, “I’m Jess, I’m his girlfriend. He didn’t say you were coming by.”

“Babe, who is it?” You heard the love of your life's voice coming from the shower. You stopped recording on your phone.

You couldn’t control yourself, you pushed the woman in front of you to the side before she could answer for you. You ran into his bathroom, your tear-filled eyes meeting his through the shower curtain.

“Surprise.” You said your heart being smashed to pieces on the ground as you meet his face. His eyebrows raised, his body limp. He knew he was caught.

“Y/N.. What are you doing here? No, no wait.” You tried not listening to him, you walked away. Not wanting him to see your tears fall anymore, he didn’t deserve that side of you anymore. 

“Wait, who the fuck are you?” Jess asked you on your way out the door.

“She’s my fucking girlfriend.” Iwaizumi called from behind you. Following you into the street in nothing but his gym shorts.

“Stop, Hajime! I can’t even fucking look at you!” You couldn’t help but raise your voice. 

“Y/N, please I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You weren’t supposed to find out like this–” He grabbed you by the wrist but you just ripped it away from him.

“Don’t touch me! Are you fucking serious? What did you think I would say? I knew you were distant, I didn’t know if it was the timezone or what but now I understand.” It took all the strength in you to stand and face him. Your body running on the adrenaline of the betrayal and anger that coursed through you. “You fucking asshole. 4 years for it to end like this? I loved you so much. I wanted to marry you! You couldn’t have at least broken up with me like a man when you find a new girlfriend.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend– I don’t know why she told you that, babe I don’t want this to end–” Iwaizumi tried coming up with absolutely anything to say to you. The truth was he hadn’t thought about what to say at this moment. He’d replayed it in his head multiple times when he laid with other girls, at some point he convinced himself he could get away with it. That maybe he’d never have to tell you. Obviously, that dream came down in a crumbling wave of hurt and disappointment.

“Don’t you dare call me the same thing you called her. Like it even matters if you called her your girlfriend or not! It’s obviously been going on for some time. So tell me, Iwaizumi, when did you stop loving me? I need to hear it so I stop being so blind in the future.” You choked out the last bit of your words, tears fell into your mouth. You were sure you looked the ugliest you’d ever looked. It embarrassed you, but you needed to know. After this, you’d never see him again.

“I–I can’t answer that.” Iwaizumi was crying in front of you. Rubbing his eyes on the back of his wrists. “I still love you–”

“No you don’t. Iwaizumi, you feel guilty. That’s not love. I want to know how long, was she ever there when I was calling you because of how badly I missed your voice.” You refused his confession. His eyes widened, you couldn’t tell if it was the realization or the way it hurt to be rejected by you. Either way, his silence was enough to answer for you at that time.

“Did Tooru know?” You asked next to his lack of response.

“What?”

“You’re girlfriend said you and Tooru talk about me a lot. So both the closest people in my life lied to me, right? They lied to my face.” You asked him again, wanting to speed this up and get the hell out of there. He hung his head. You let out one last hiccup of pain.

“I asked him to, I told him I would tell you myself. Don’t be mad at him–” Iwaizumi begged you this time but it was too late.

“If he were a real friend of mine he should’ve told me, but he chose his side. When you stopped answering I was on the facetime with him every day. He had plenty of chances. You’re too late, Hajime. Tell Oikawa that I’m never speaking to either of you again. I’m blocking your numbers and I’m going back to Japan the next chance I can get.” You backed away, your head hanging. You didn’t know if you had any more hot tears to shed. They burned your cheeks. You hung your head down, trying to drop them onto the street instead of on your cheeks.

“Y/N... Please...” He begged weakly, his arm extending to touch your shoulder. He tried to bring you into his chest but you put your hands out to his chest. Your skin felt like it was going to fall off, he didn’t give you the comforting feeling of love and home and happiness anymore.

“No. This is the last time you’re ever seeing me.” You said it, looking into his eyes one final time. You could never do this, you felt like everything had been flushed down a clogged toilet. How would you ever move on from this?

“Where are you going?” He asked you, trailing at your heels.

“Away from you.” You spat, pulling out your phone. You were trying to look for an uber in the area.

“No, please let me take you somewhere safe, this isn’t a good neighborhood! And I know you got a C in English. Please, I’ll protect you, even if I need to follow from further away or something, I can call you someone and we can talk again tomorrow–” Iwaizumi was really trying, he pulled out his own phone and tried to look for something in his contacts list but you refused. 

“That’s coming from the person who hurt me the most. You have no place in my life anymore. Just leave me the hell alone.” You said this without looking behind you, “Goodbye, Hajime.” 

┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

jenna’s 5k celebration dialogue prompts!

[noritoshiikamo]

driver’s license 

cause you said forever, now I drive alone passed your street [au where suna is a doctor specialized in memory removal and his last patient of the day is his ex]

pairing: suna rintarou + fem!reader genre: pain, angst, doctor!suna + patient!reader tags//warning: medical procedure of mind erasing, slight suicide ideation, alcohol abuse note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. the songs made me brawled i had to write something about it and i just so happened to finish haikyuu

“it’s odd,” he looked up from the computer screen, osamu approached him pointing to the screen, the last name listed in the appointment schedule under dr suna rintarou. please don’t say it please don’t say anything, he begged silently in his head. “she kinda has her name. haven’t heard her name in ages,” osamu shrugged, grabbing his next patient’s files, “want to get lunch later?” the doctor popped in another stick of gum, leaving before suna could even said a word.

funny that osamu said that. that is his girlfriend. he moved the cursor and clicked at the name. the birthplace, the date, her eye colour, the address and her number; it matches everything he ever memorized of her. except they are no longer together. it has been a month since their breakup.

 she’s an architect. not by choice but she likes art. she’s talented and had once held an art show during school’s open day where they met. she didn’t draw him until they started dating, but she had known some of his close friends who was the subject of her drawings. her parents disproved of her ambitious and to compromise, she agreed to take architectural instead. she stopped drawing completely and suna was the only person in japan that has the largest collection of her paintings stuffed in boxes and behind shelves.

 suna rintarou has been a doctor in inarizaki institute for 5 years now. inarizaki institute was different from others. it was the only medical institution that had successfully developed a procedure to remove unwanted memories. he’s one of the qualified doctors for said procedure. he had done the procedure multiple times now, even on his former high school friends and families but never his own girlfriend.

 is it him she’s removing from her memories?

 he didn’t remember how they broke up. maybe it’s because he was too busy. maybe it’s because she had fallen out of love with him. maybe they just couldn’t stand being in each other’s spaces, but it happened so quickly. she moved out from their apartment, returned when he left to clear out her stuff and he just threw himself back to work.

 he did remember how they met. she was the miya brothers’ neighbor. one night when he came to visit them during semester break years ago, they were in their parents’ car with a girl. suna felt like he had recognized but couldn’t think of where or when. “oi, suna,” the window rolled down and asamu called him over, “come in!” despite being weirded out, he entered the back door of the car. “we are teaching our friend how to drive; can you believe it? she’s in our university and can’t drive to save a life.”

 “shut the fuck up, atsumu or i’ll run you over,” she muttered angrily as she moved the driving gear.

 suna saw the stick going down to reverse instead down further and he immediately reached for her hand. the girl startled at the stranger’s sudden touch. “what the fuck are you d-doing?” she choked up.

 “you’re going to reverse into the wall,” he muttered bluntly, pouting his mouth to the gear. grabbing the stick through her hand, he pulled the gear into drive before letting her hand go. the light from the post shined in and he could see red flush on her face as she nodded, “oh okay, yeah d,” she muttered to herself. she started driving. she wasn’t exactly bad; she just needed a lot of practice.

 so he came over every day of his semester break and accompanied them as she practiced her driving.

 “i can drive you home?” she offered on the last night of his break before he returned to school.

 “you don’t have too.”

 “i insisted,” to which suna agreed and she glanced back at the miya brothers, “get the fuck out.” despite their disgruntlement and the it’s my mum’s car argument, she managed to kick them out. it was just two of them together. “so, i know we went to same high school and university. how come we have never crossed path before?” she questioned as she took her first turn. she memorized the roads to his home. suna shrugged as he fidgeted with the corner of the jacket’s zipper, “i played volleyball in high school.”

 she chuckled, “i’ve never watched any sport matches in high school, sorry. anyway, i’m a last year architectural student by the way. are you taking the same course as osamu?” she glanced at him with a smile. his heart skipped a beat. “y-yeah. i’m in my 5th year of medical.”

 “why not volleyball player?”

 “i got bored.”

 she let a soft exhale and shrugged, “fair enough. i took architectural to please my mother so i’m in no position to give any advice.” she slowed down in front of his house before pulling into a full stop. she pulled into parking and pulled the hand brake. she smiled and fist pumped herself, “did you see that? perfect stop!” suna didn’t expect what was going to happen next. he watched out of control as his arm reached out for her face and pulling her close. what he remembered being in control was asking her boldly whether he could kiss her.

her eyes sparkled and she smiled so widely, “yes.”

so, he did.

she moved into his apartment at the end of his graduation. she didn’t get any job for the first few months while he entered inarizaki institute as medical officer. she took commissions online and waited tables while going to a couple of interviews. he saw a decline in her motivation. when suna returned one night, he found her behind the sofa, drunk out of her mind. what spooked him wasn’t the bottles of whiskey on the floor but the stainless-steel paint scrapper she stabbed the canvas with. she could’ve hurt herself. but, putting her into therapy and pulling strings with some of her friends, she recovered, and he got her an interview. suna watched as she dreadfully shoved her portfolios and files into her bag. 

“you’ll be alright,” he reassured, bringing her a cup of coffee. she sighed and pushed her bangs back, “i don’t know, rin. i just don’t feel like getting another rejection after another and then i’ll just spiral into a-” he stopped her rambling with a kiss. he tasted like coffee; she tasted like their toothpaste. every time she tried to pull away, he pulled her back into the kiss and she could feel him laughing against her lips. “this is going to turn into something else,” she whispered between the kiss and he nodded. he was half aroused. she drank the coffee and kissed him one last time. he felt her fingers slipped from his grip. she stood by the door and waved back.

 “see you?” she beamed.

 “always.”

 suna snapped out of his own memory when an alarm blared out. he looked up past the nurses’ counter and saw a patient being pushed out of room B by a couple of nurses. he knew what goes on in that room; he helped in perfecting the procedure. osamu followed soon. he tugged the blue gloves off and shoved them into the yellow bin. “you would not believe who I met in the waiting room?” by the look of his face, osamu already got the feeling that suna already knew. osamu flipped his file and pulled out a pen. he signed the bottom of the pages and dumping it in the completed pile. “did she tell you?” suna asked.

 “about?” the other doctor asked.

 “the memories she’s erasing. did she tell you?”

 osamu shook his head and pocketed his hand in the white coat. “she asked about you. whether you’re around. i said yeah, he’s on call and she just smiled.” suna stood up and grabbed the file. he felt conflicted. osamu stopped the man before he could enter the room. “look man, I’m sorry about whatever happen between you guys and I’m in no position to judge at all.”

 suna shrugged and smiled, “it’s fine. we were just ruining each other.” the other man nodded understandingly before excusing himself. suna wanted to move but his feet felt heavy. he was glued down. room B was just a few feet away, but he couldn’t move. this is it. the end of them.

 he forced himself into the room. standing in front of the panels and monitor, separating him and her was a one-way mirror. she sat on the seat, talking to the nurses in charge. his heart hurts. she had bangs now framing her face. she’s slight thinner and no longer wore the charm bracelet he gave during their first anniversary. the nurse placed a heart-beat monitor on her thumb and attached a couple more of sensors to her brain, forehead, and neck. his monitor lightened up and spitted out the information. this is it. “doctor, she’s requesting of removal of memory from 2009 up to last month,” the nurse’s words went in his ears and out. it’s of him.

 all his own memories flashed through his mind.

 the memories of every kisses, hugs, the late nights and the earliest of days, the coffees, the spilled paints. memories of every tear he ever wiped and for ever meals she had ever cooked. memories of all the paints of him that she had gifted to him and every night she drove down his streets. for every missed calls and unread texts. the way she touched him and the way she made him felt. he felt suffocated.

 how could he ever love someone else?

 “everything is accordingly. you may press the start, doctor.”

 he looked at the flashing button and back to her. she was looking right at him. she might not see him, but she is looking straight at him and she looked so beautiful. a small smile appeared on her lips as her fingers fidgeted nervously. he felt tears prickling his eyes. his fingers brushed against the button and he slowly pressed it. 

 it took them 7 years to build this much of memories together and it took him 3 minutes to erase it clean from her mind.

 she was drowsy and she had tears running down her face. the nurses rushed in after the red light disappeared and green light beamed. the alarm rang. another memory successfully. “I’m okay, I’m okay.” he heard her from the opened door. shutting off the machine, he immediately rushed out for the door, feared that he might bumped into her and lost it. he hid his shaking hands in his pocket and gritted his teeth.

 “doctor?”

 he stopped. the world stopped spinning and he felt lightheaded. the way she called for him didn’t change, the tone and the pronunciation were the same. it was always melodious yet painful. he turned around to see her being wheelchaired out of the room by the nurse. her eyes were slightly red, and her nose were puffy. the nurse passed her a cup of water. she smiled politely, thanking her and took the cup in her hand. she took a sip, coughing at the coldness of the water down her dried throat. it’s the side effect of the procedure.

 “have we met before?” she asked, innocently.

 suna shook his head and smiled weakly, “no, we haven’t.” he turned to the nurse and nodded. before the nurse could ushered her away, she called him out again. 

 with a smile on her face, she waved goodbye, “see you, doctor?”

 “always.”

[lovely-angst]

a letter addressed for you

9.20.20

**im not entirely sure how long the battle against muzan is, so don’t come at me**

this story is such a mess, i dont even know anymore lol

Your trembling hands clutch tightly onto the dress of your yukata as you tried not to let the tears fall from your eyes. You were not going to let the last sight that Giyuu has of you be a memory of you in tears—you forbid it. 

Giyuu had just informed you that he was sending you to a neighboring town, a safer town. The long awaited battle with Muzan was slowly stirring and was about to get worse, he wanted you to stay safe.

“Don’t cry, (Name),” he says gently, but you shake your head angrily. “I’m not crying!” you shout back, teeth clenched. 

You weren’t going to cry, you were stronger than that. 

It hurt Giyuu to see you in such a state. As much as he wanted you near and by his side and as much as you wanted to argue back and stay, you both knew it was the best decision for you to leave.

A sniffle escaped your lips and Giyuu could feel his heart ripping into two, stepping forward he wrapped your body in his, holding you for the last time. “I can’t promise I’ll come back, so if you ever get a notice about me, please move on without me,” he says gently beside your ear

Your cheek rests against his shoulder as your tears began to soak his haori, his words breaking your will to hold your tears in, “I don’t want you to go,” you tremble, your grip on his uniform tight, afraid to let go.

Pulling away, he gives you one of his rare gentle smiles before bringing his thumb to wipe away the tears, “Don’t cry,” he says, resting his forehead against your as you close your eyes to soak in his embrace.

“I’m not crying..” you sobbed as you cried into his chest.

-

Staring outside the small window, you let out a sigh as you reminisce on the last interaction you had with Giyuu. It wasn’t ideal, you wish you had more time with him before you left, but sometimes life just doesn’t work that way

It had been a few weeks since you’d seen Giyuu after he found you a safer place to stay. You lived with an elderly woman who ran a small fruit stall in town alone after her husband had passed

Carrying the baskets full of fruits out, she walked out after you with a gracious smile, “This is the fastest I’ve opened it since my husband passed.” You give her a small smile, “I’m glad I could help. After all, you’ve given me a place to stay.

Walking over to her chair, she sits down before taking a breath of the crisp morning air, “That man was such a dear to look out for you so much,” she says with a warm smile and you raise your brows slightly, “Who exactly are you talking about?” you asked gently.

“The demon slayer with the beautiful half patterned haori,” her eyes meet yours, “is he your husband?”

A blush crosses your cheek as you shake your head, “Giyuu? no, we’re just lovers. He’s a little too busy to take care of a family right now,” you reply, but she shakes her head, perking your curiosity.

“You can never be too busy for your family. It’ll work out someday for you, dear,” you couldn’t help but smile and believe her words.

Sitting down on the stool beside her, you lean closer with a hesitant look, “If—” you glance away, your resolve breaking, “If Giyuu somehow, doesn’t ‘come back’, how do you move on?” you ask, heart heavy.

Taking her hand in yours, she holds you tightly and securely, “you don’t ever really move on. You learn to live life without them by your side, and while it might be rough, it makes you think back on all the memories that you’ve created with them.”

Her words are wise and you nod with a determined look, though she brings her hand up towards your cheek playfully, “but that’s nothing you need to worry about. Stop brooding and start helping me run this stand.” You chuckle before standing up, “of course.”

Soon the days began to blur into one another and four months had already passed by, unsure if you were glad or upset with how quickly the days were passing by.

“I’m going to go finish harvesting the grapes. I’ll be back before sundown,” you say as you grab your basket before slipping it on your back, waving goodbye to the lovely old lady before making your journey.

A sudden thought in your head caused you to stop in your tracks, turning back towards the small fruit stall.

“Is something the matter dear?” she asked you before you took a step forward, “um, did a letter arrive for me at all?” you asked curiously as you played with your fingers.

She gave you a sympathetic smile before answering, “unfortunately not dear, I haven’t received anything yet addressed for you. I will be on the lookout for a letter though,” she says before you nod, turning back to continue your journey.

Another day of not recieving a letter. It should be great news, Giyuu, explaining to you that you should receive a letter if he doesn’t make it. But what if he decides to write to you, updating you on how he’s been, if he’s eating well or if Shinobu was still bickering with him.

You missed those days, they felt...carefree.

The jumbled thoughts helped you pass the time as you harvested the remaining grapes. Reaching over, you snipped the vines carefully and gently before placing them in the basket you carried, snacking on some grapes from time to time.

‘Giyuu would probably enjoy these grapes,’ you thought as you tossed another in your mouth. Maybe if you were lucky, you would be able to share these grapes with him.

With a tired sigh, you placed the last bunch of grapes in your basket before standing up to glance at the sky—just in time for you to make it back safely.

“I’m back,” you say, entering the house before gently setting the full basket against the wall. “Oh, thank you so much (Name), you are such a wonderful help. Go ahead and rest up, i’ll handle the rest,” the old lady tried, but you shook your head politely.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle this, you go ahead and watch the shop upfront, you’re better at it than I am anyway,” you say and she nods with a smile. “just let me know if I can help you with anything.”

As she walked back outside, you gently poured the grapes into a large bowl before hand washing them, making sure to get rid of bugs or possible dirt. 

“(Name), dear? Could you please come out here for a second, I need your help,” she called out. “Yeah, I’ll be there!” you cried as you dried your hand on your apron, quickly walking out.

“What did you need?” you ask, observing the large smile on her face. Her eyes shift behind you, causing you to turn your head to glance at the distraction. 

There stood Giyuu—your long waited lover.

His hair was cut short and he seemed to have lost an arm to the horrible battle. Your shaky hands reached out for him, gently caressing his tired and thinner face.

You take a step closer towards him, but your legs give out and you fall onto the ground in front of his feet. Covering your face with your hands, you sob your heart out as Giyuu places his hand on your back soothingly.

Glancing up away from your hands, you stare into his blue ones. Bringing your hands up towards him, you caress his cheeks gently, “is it really you?”

Placing his hand over yours, he nods, “I’m sorry I took so long,” Giyuu whispers against your lips, but you shake your head, leaning in to press your lips onto his for a long awaited kiss.

“No, I’m just glad you’re back,” you respond, pressing multiple kisses onto his lips before finishing it off with a cheek kiss, “I’m just glad you’re alive.”

Standing up, you couldn’t help yourself but rush into his arms, hiding your face in his chest as he wraps his arm around you, resting his cheek on your head. “I waited for a letter from you every day, you know?”

“I didn’t want to send a letter,” Giyuu confessed, causing you to glance up at him, “I didn’t want to scare you if you got a letter, thinking I had died in battle.” You pout at his response, “It would have been nice to know how you were doing though...”

“You must be tired, my dear,” the old lady says sweetly as the two of you separate, Giyuu bowing politely ar her. “Why don’t you come inside and have some fruit and tea?”

You gasp from her words, “Giyuu! You should try the grapes I harvested today! I know you’ll love them!” you chirp and Giyuu couldn’t help but smile at your playfulness.

But you were right, he did love them.

[iwaisa]

request. trynna think of a request for u rn 🧏‍♀️ how ab tsukki w a best friend who’s so grade conscious bc ppl have high expectations of them n one day she breaks down bc she b afraid of failure n he’s like .......ok ill comfort them bc theyre my best friend but im also secretly in love w them trope😝 definitrly not because this reminds me of a certain someone who is not myself and i definitrly dont need to hear this😭 - @tsukisemi​

a/n. sue you are a GENIUS I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BIG BRAIN. i absolutely adore best friends to lovers/childhood friends to lovers tropes they make me so happy ugh once again THANK YOU

► now playing...

- pairing. tsukishima x female reader (pronouns not specifically stated, but there is ma’am lol)

- warnings. make out session! lol oops. suggestive content

- word count. 1.8k+

it was a friday evening, and you found yourself studying at kei tsukishima’s house. again. no matter how many times you tried to convince him to do other things while hanging out in the warmth of his bedroom, he always insisted that academics came before baking and movies.

the two of you have been friends since your last year of junior high, after yamaguchi was too busy looking up at his tall companion to realize another figure was about to collide with him. the two of you made contact with the ground, before jumping up to apologize quickly.

tsukishima found himself instantly infatuated with you - you were gorgeous. your breathtaking eyes, the way your school uniform seemed to fit just perfectly, the way he imagined your smaller hands and fingers slotting in between his - he was absolutely intrigued. yamaguchi would say love at first sight, the taller male would call him ridiculous.

the three of you instantly clicked, with you and yamaguchi being the more talkative ones of the trio. tsukishima acted as a parental figure, scolding you two constantly for doing things you weren’t supposed to.

upon overhearing a conversation with sensei that you would be heading to karasuno for high school - the same place tsukishima and yamaguchi were planning on going - he let out a breath he never knew he was holding in. he continued listening to sensei urging you to plan on going somewhere more academic based - like shiratorizwa or fukurōdani. you put it simply that you would rather go somewhere more balanced. sensei was hesitant before he approved of your plans.

you had always been good at doing homework and classwork, but you weren’t so good at taking tests. they intimidated you, making you worry that you would end up receiving something lower than a B+. tsukishima and yamaguchi knew of course, since the two of you held frequent study sessions at each others’ houses. this tradition carried on even when the three of you made it into karasuno, just not as frequently due to the boys’ volleyball practices.

today, however, yamaguchi was helping yachi teach kageyama and hinata english since tsukishima blatantly refused. the two of you headed back to his house, and instantly began flipping through your textbooks. he was quietly scribbling words and numbers on his papers, seemingly flying through assignments. you were sat on his bed, stuck on one section in particular.

“why the hell is ap chemistry so hard?” you sighed, scratching your scalp. tsukishima turned his head to see you rubbing your eyes, which adorned deep blue bags underneath. he sighed, putting his pencil down as he walked to sit on the edge of the bed alongside you. he looked over your shoulder, reading the complex chemical equations. “you know this one, l/n. you got it.” 

you shook your head quickly, “no, i don’t tsukki. i have no idea what i’m doing and sensei literally didn’t even teach us this. see, this is why i’m glad i didn’t end up going to an academy because this would be ten times harder. i hate that people are always assuming i can handle this with ease. i can’t.” you finished, blinking back tears.

tsukishima sighed, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses before readjusting them to focus on the question. he began rubbing his finger over the numbers, slowly explaining each process. you were surprised he was being kind, but you didn’t want to take this soft moment for granted. you simply nodded your head, hurriedly scribbling down what he was saying in your notebook.

“tell you what,” he turned, looking into your eyes. “if you can do these next four questions by yourself, i’ll give you something i’ve been meaning to for a while.” you tilted your head, “tsukki, my birthday was months ago.” he chuckled, getting up to sit in his chair, which was now facing you. “i’m aware.” the two of you stared at each other for a while, before you turned your attention back to your textbook.

using tsukishima’s explanations and whatever strategies you learned from sensei, you flew through two of the questions with ease, getting stuck on the third one. tsukishima explained once more, telling you to use a different equation for the next two. you nodded, finally understanding.

the next two questions were hard to figure out, but you finally got through them. you placed your pencil in between the crease of the pages, looking up to tsukisima expectedly. when he didn’t move, you were confused. did he just trick you into doing homework?

tsukishima gulped, attempting to calm his erratic heart and shaky legs. was he ready for this? no, he wasn’t. but even as yamaguchi said; he’s been putting this off for long enough. he knew he liked you, but had no idea just what to do about it. he knew he would be jeopardizing your friendship in some way, but tsukishima couldn’t deny that he wanted some sort of affectionate skinship to happen between the two of you.

he released his lower lip from his teeth before shaking his head. he stood up, walking towards you with slight hesitation. he plopped himself next to you, your shoulders brushing against each other. tsukishima lifted his glasses off his nose before leaning forward, pressing a quick peck to your lips.

your mouth fell open, and your eyes widened more than you believed they ever could. your face exploded with heat, and you began spewing out incoherent words. he stood up, returning to his seat. “tsukki?” you asked in disbelief. “yes?” he responded, seemingly unphased. “w-what was that?” he watched you run your middle and forefinger over your lips, “my gift.” your jaw dropped open once more, earning a rare chuckle from your blond friend. or maybe, not a friend anymore.

“if you finish the next four questions, i’ll give you another one. if you want,” his last words were muffled by the back of his hand. you smiled at the sight; tsukishima, the most stoic boy you’ve ever met, was embarrassed. nonetheless, you were going to earn another kiss from your friend, not to mention the boy you’ve been in love with for the past two years.

you were quick to pick up your pencil, reading the questions as quickly as possible. “and don’t rush either, idiot,” tsukishima jested. you stuck your tongue out at him, feeling your heart flutter as he let out a soft chuckle.

you made sure to complete each question thoroughly, wondering if you would get extra points for doing more work. tsukishima stood over your figure, eyes scanning over each question. he pointed at one, “the equation was right, but check your calculations again.” you sighed, turning back to the book. 

tsukishima bent over, pressing a light kiss atop your head, making you jolt in surprise. he staggered back holding his chin, and you stood up waving your hands frantically. he held his hand up to stop your word-vomit, letting a light chuckle escape his lips.

you pressed your lips in a line, sitting back down. you began calculating the equation once more, finally coming up with the right answer. “there you go. see? you only have four questions left now.” you lifted your chin expectedly, watching him squat in front of you. you pursed your lips as he began to lean in, pressing teasing kisses to both of your cheeks. you groaned in annoyance, before sandwiching his face in between your palms. “stop teasing,” you muttered sternly. “yes ma’am,” he joked, finally closing the distance between you two.

this kiss was a tad bit more passionate, the two of you moving your lips together excitedly. it would’ve been a make out session, if tsukishima had not pulled away with a grin. “last four questions.” he smirked at you before standing up, returning to his chair once more.

these questions were possibly the worst. there were multiple equations in each separate question, and it left you wondering why someone would ever want to major in chemistry. tsukishima watched your face contort into borderline anger, your lower lip between your teeth. he swiftly stood up, placing himself next to you on the bed. he reached his arm around you, rubbing circles into your lower back as you continued writing the wrong equations.

“here,” he spoke up finally, removing the pencil from your grasp. he began writing in a clear fashion which numbers were to be plugged in where, and it finally clicked for you. he glanced at your profile, watching your mouth fall open. he smiled to himself as he watched you solve the equations with ease, his hand never leaving your back.

you finally finished, looking up at the blond with long-awaited anticipation. “you’re eager,” he whispered, his eyes becoming soft. his gaze flickered between yours and your plush lips - the one’s he’s been waiting to feel on his for so long. and the feeling wasn’t disappointing. they felt amazing, and he was on cloud nine. a little voice that sounded like yamaguchi resonated in tsukishima’s head saying, “finally.”

the two of you began moving forward at a slow pace, until you gripped onto his shirt pulling him into you to finally close the gap. this kiss was definitely not like the last ones. this one was ferocious; two pining friends finally earning exactly what they’ve been patiently waiting for. 

tsukishima’s right hand made its way to your hip, prompting you to lay down. he hovered over you, not once pulling away. your tongue brushed against the seam of his lips, and he eagerly allowed your tongue to meet his. your hands began roaming, feeling tsukishima’s pecs. they slowly moved down to his abs, which were rock-solid, much to your surprise.

you gasped as he pulled away to press open-mouthed kisses on your jawline, moving down to your neck. your hands gripped his hair as he sucked on a particular spot that elicited a whine from your throat.

he pulled away, looking down at you with golden irises filled with lust. his gaze fell on the newly formed red spot on your neck, and he sat up pushing his glasses back to rest on the bridge of his nose. “sorry about that,” he whispered, his voice filled with nerves. “don’t be. i liked it,” you smiled, watching his gaze soften for the umpteenth time that day.

“do you like me?” he asked hesitantly. you paused, your eyebrows furrowing in mock confusion. “you know, for one of the smartest in the class, you’re pretty dumb.” he opened his mouth to protest, before you sat up to give him a quick kiss. “yes, i like you.”

his arms wrapped around your waist, pushing you back down onto his bed. “can we cuddle,” he said it as more of a statement than a question. you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his back. “can you be my boyfriend,” you pretend to mock, causing his head to snap up. he nodded hastily before burrowing his face into your chest once more. 

“i love you,” he said, his words muffled by your shirt. “i love you too, kei.” you smiled as you ran your hands through his golden locks, hearing a content sigh escape his lips.