#i tried to look up their twitters to link as credit but couldn’t find them even tho it says their nickname on the pics :((

[kiarabanetmi]

Chloe’s Arc vs Felix’s Arc

Chloe and Felix share many similarities as characters and yet their stories have completely different outcomes and I want to try and analyze why. I think both of them share similar stories with different outcomes to show how different actions taken by similar people can have drastically different results

On a surface level it may seem like Felix and Chloe aren’t similar, and yes they do have many differences between them that make them different people entirely, but they both have many of the same types of background and suffered similar kinds of abuse and developed negative mindsets about the world because of it

They are both rich children both to influential families that shaped their lives. Each of them had an abusive parent but in different ways: Chloe’s mother abandoned her and her father indulged her bad behavior to avoid being abused himself. Felix’s father abused Felix mentally and emotionally and even Physically since he would use Felix’s miraculous to control what he what physically couldn’t and couldn’t do. We don’t know about how his mother raised him, but I saw an interesting post on Twitter analyzing a moment from the play Felix and Kagami did (it’s linked somewhere on Twitter but I’m having trouble finding it so I can’t give credit where it’s due). The bunny that Felix holds at one point is supposed to represent Felix’s mother (there’s a screenshot somewhere of Amelie wearing a rabbit mask) and the moment where the arm is torn represents that his father abused her as well. This may have caused her to be indulgent of her son to try and make him happy, especially after her husband died, since they were both finally free of his abuse and cruelty

They both have incredible power and financial means as well as a warped view of the world due to their upbringing. Chloe sees everyone as beneath her cause that’s how she feels better about herself and how her mother acted and encouraged Chloe to act when she was actually around. Felix suffered abuse from someone who had power over him, developing a cold and closed off personality, putting others down as well, unwilling to allow himself to open himself up to be used and abused again, causing him to look down on others cause he was trying to protect himself (and his mother).

They also both tried to Sabotage Adrien’s relationship’s at some point too. Chloe tried so she could have Adrien, her “prince,” all to herself and could torture Marinette; Felix did this for unknown reasons but I hypothesize it was a combination of trying to get HawkMoth’s attention by making Adrien’s friends angry enough to be akumatized and out of jealousy that Adrien seemed to have loving friends. Or maybe in his head he also thought he was protecting Adrien from people who were just out to use him rather than actually cared about him, since he never really had any friends of his own and couldn’t believe they were genuine (but that’s my own headcannon, there’s no proof of it).

Adrien also both gave them second chances. In Chloe’s case, it started in Season 2 in Despair Bear. Then later in Derision after he learned the Hell she put Marinette through the years before in school (we’ll come back to that one in a bit). In Felix’s debut episode, Adrien did confront him on what he did, and forgave Felix when he apologized, but only after he made it clear that what Felix did was NOT OK and would not forgive him if he did it again.

Here’s where their story lines start to divulge: what they do after Adrien calls each of them out. They both take different routes. Chloe still bullied Marinette’s and the others and tries to keep Adrien to herself (which really only actively starts up again after the Season 3 finale). In the season 4 episode Gabriel Agreste, she plans to reveal to Gabriel the classes attempts to help Adrien escape his home (and by extension reveal Marinette’s feelings) so he’ll take Adrien of school and make sure only she can visit him. In that very same episode Felix comes back.

Now, on the surface, it seems like Felix hasn’t changed. He’s cold and closed off, gives Gabriel a fake ring back, makes fun of Chloe and avoids interacting with everyone else, including Kagami. But here’s the thing no one notices: he’s not actively trying to sabotage Adrien’s relationships this episode. When he and Kagami are alone in the room, he doesn’t say anything to try and manipulate her, not try to make Adrien look bad. Granted, he probably had more important things on his mind, investigating Gabriel, but it’s still a small improvement. Then there’s the BIG moment in the episode where Gabriel tries to trick Felix and akumatize him: Felix flat out REJECTS it.

This is significant for two reasons: at this point in the timeline, this is only the third time we’ve seen a character actually reject an akumatization based on will alone. The first, funnily enough, was Chloe back in season 3, Miraculer. She refused to be Akumatized and manipulated to try and be better per Ladybug’s advice. The second person to do it was Alya in Gang of Secrets earlier in season 4. Felix (at this point) is only the third character to do this. That’s huge

The second reason is he outright refused to be akumatized at all, rejecting any power offer. In his debut episode, it seemed like he wanted to work with HawkMoth, but here he’s not. Outright refused powers from someone who can literally give them. (Side note, Gabriel is also threatening Felix’s life here by threatening to make him disappear, since he had the peacock miraculous repaired now, and I have a theory as to why it broke in the first place). In the previous episode Queen Banana, Chloe even had a conversation with HawkMoth and readily accepted; showing she was no longer just being manipulated when the butterfly came into contact with her. She could have rejected it (and later did in Penalteam), but still accepted the power. Felix didn’t at all. So we start to think, maybe Felix isn’t that bad? Maybe he’s better than Chloe right?

Then he went and betrayed Ladybug and gave Gabriel all the miraculous in exchange for the Peacock. He didn’t care about the people he hurt or betrayed or doomed in pursuit of his own goals, getting his hand on the Peacock miraculous. Chloe, in similar fashion, wanted the Bee Miraculous back, and allied with HawkMoth when he offered it to her in the season 3 finale. And even in his small scene in season 5 episode 2, when he shows up and his mom is shown to have lies to Ladybug and Cat Noir to protect (or enable) her son, our suspicions about his motives and allegiances are confirmed true.

So far, his story is like Chloe’s: a rich, spoiled kid with an abusive parent (father) and the other parent as an enabler, looking down on everyone not at his level, acting cruel for the sake of it,, working with Hawkmoth to get their hands on a miraculous, and not regretting any of his bad choices and acting in his own self interest without caring about how it impacts others around him.

Let’s head back to Chloe for a second since we’ve focused on Felix and there’s a gap between his appearances in season 5. In the episode Derision, Adrien finally learns the true extent of the torture she put a Marinette through. He may not have heard about the smaller stuff from Kim, like leaving bugs in her locker and paint on her seats, but he learned of the horrendous “prank” she and Kim pulled on Marinette and immediately was furious. I mean, he tried to Cataclysm Kim’s face a few minutes later (I don’t blame him).

Adrien finally learned the true extent of Chloe’s cruelty and evil. So he decides to give her one last chance. He tells her to apologize cause he believes she can change. And she’s shown she’s capable of it. But this time, instead of trying to plead his forgiveness, she just laughs in his face now. She refuses to try being good anymore and outright tells Adrien, her “Prince”, the boy she always called her friend and seemed to care for one some real level, wrong and tries to convince him that she is better. She’s completely given up on any semblance of trying to good, or even just acting like she’s doing it to lease Adrien anymore. She’s done. She’s revealed her true colors to him. And Adrien is done with her. She’s not even sad about it anymore, just angry and annoyed that he betrayed her.

We see here that even though it seemed like she did care about Adrien enough to try and change or be better, she no longer does. Maybe she never did. She still sees him as some sort of prop or tool or prize that she deserves. Now let’s head back to Felix and the episode Emotion and how it displays both Felix’s growth and Chloe’s regression

***note, I have a full post on Felix and his actions in the episode Emption as well if you want to read it

Emotion happens and we see the true differences between the characters, and we learn more about Felix here too. Until now it seems like Felix has his own sinister reasons for allying with HawkMoth and is nothing but a male version of Chloe. But we see the differences here now. He tries to talk to Kagami (posing as Adrien) and doesn’t try to ruin their relationship, in fact apologizing when Kagami tells him that since they’re no longer dating the hand kiss was too far (learning about consent is good young man, but you still have to apologize to Ldybug!). He even tries to bond with her. Meanwhile Chloe had unwittingly “befriended” Marinette at the party and insists on showing her around, bragging about servants and robots and money and the like. Then the King and Queen are supposed to dance.

When Marinette reveals herself to them, you can see the differences in their characters in the ways they react. Marinette gives “Adrien” a heartfelt speech, saying she loves him, how she understands why he didn’t tell her about the dance and isn’t mad or betrayed, how she understands his father is forcing hot to do this and doesn’t blame him, and that she trusts him and loves him no matter what. Chloe is obsessed with the fact the baker girl broke into the dance, wanting her kicked out immediately. Felix by contrast is shocked, and then smiles and dances with her. He’s still acting as Adrien so it could be a cover, but I think he was genuinely loved by her words. Until now he’s never interacted with someone who honest, even if it would get them in trouble or hurt them. When Marinette starts getting self conscious and saying they think she’s a monster, he gets angry and says that they are the monsters.

Then Chloe gets so mad that she outright attacks Marinette and Felix then reveals himself. He starts snapping everyone away, but doesn’t do so with Marinette. He takes her away and hides her rather than just snapping her away for later. He doesn’t want to hurt someone who genuinely cares for his cousin. Then after he snaps the rest of the world away except for himself and Kagami (and be believed Marinette) he brings Adrien back and is overjoyed! He is happy cause he thinks he freed them and wants to have them all live together and be free and happy, (like he never was with his father)

Now we see there’s more to him that a cruel Chloe copy: he wants to help those he cares but is INCREDIBLY misguided, he thinks the only way he can think to help is to take the extreme and completely cut off anyone else who they don’t know or could possibly hurt them in the future, that there’s no one else good in the world except for Adrien and his mother (then later Kagami and Marinette). And we also see him regret his actions when he hurt the people he cared about. When he couldn’t bring back Marinette, he panicked and brought back everyone cause he didn’t want to hurt Adrien.

This is another Major difference between Chloe and Felix. Felix’s actions are also undoubtedly selfish and cruel (snapping away the entire world? Damn), but beneath that there’s a twisted and warped sense of protection and care behind it. He did it to save his loved ones. He was incredibly wrong in his approach and actions, but he seemed to genuinely want to help. And when Adrien called him out on it and how he was out of control and actually hurting people and him with his powers, Felix immediately stopped. He could have ignored it and snapped him and Kagami away, living alone in his free world, but he didn’t. By contrast, in the episode Revolution, Chloe gets similar powers to send people away, and when Adrien calls her on it she just sends him away too, without a second thought. Lila didn’t even need to say anything to convince Chloe to do it, that’s how little she cares about Adrien.

And their differences don’t stop at Emotion and how they use similar powers. They continue for the rest of their individual appearances in Season 5.

After the Diamond Dance and Felix snaps away Red Moon, he could have stopped there. After this failure and hearing his mother agree with his sentiments about how cruel everyone else in the world is (his mother being someone he loves and looks up, who is now validating his original beliefs), he could have just stopped right there. Instead, after that, he took an interest in Kagami, and also still tried to look out for/after Adrien. Remember, in the Season 3 finale, ladybug also tried to reach out to Chloe again after she made that mistake, and Chloe outright refused to apologize and turned against Ladybug fully. Felix ended up listening to Ladybug in the end, when she told him winning isn’t always what you want, or something like that. He did end up taking her advice.

Then when he saw Kagami being abused emotionally and verbally by her mother (one step forward, one step back; STALKING IS NOT OK YOUNG MAN), he noted how horrible it was and immediately acted to stop it. He kidnapped her and took her away (bad reaction, make that two steps back), but here he’s genuinely trying to do good. He’s actively trying to change. Kagami even calls him out on his stalking and kidnapping, and he apologizes and explains he didn’t know what else to do cause he knows what it’s like to be abused. Chloe would’ve just laughed at Kagami’s plight: Adrien’s “perfect” friend and ex girlfriend isn’t so perfect and her mother thinks she’s ridiculous too? She would find that utterly amazing and laughable.

Throughout the rest of the episode, Felix’s only plan is to protect Kagami, and even Ladybug and Chat Noir realize this when Kagami tells them so. He doesn’t try to fight them anymore and leaves.

Then through Lila’s manipulations and schemes, Chloe becomes mayor of Paris, and again ally’s with Monarch to gain powers for herself. She’s back to her old tricks, and this time is completely unrestrained by her former attachments to Adrien. One last time, she could have turned him down, but in the end she didn’t. This final choice is the metaphorical nail in Chloe’s coffin.

**I have another link where I try to analyze Chloe’s fall from grace and the reason her story ended the way it did

That’s a fundamental difference between these two characters which such similar backgrounds: it’s how they react to what they did and react to their mistakes and other people calling them out on their actions

Chloe never truly cared that she hurt Adrien despite him being “precious” to her, she never truly accepted responsibility except for that one time with Maledictator, and in the end didn’t see how her mother treated her as wrong. And when being good wasn’t as easy or rewarding as she wanted it to be, she stopped trying.

She found that being cruel and mean was easier for her and more immediately rewarding, so she took the easy way. It’s not that difficult to expect, especially the way she was raised: with a snobby, absentee mother, a weak willed father, and all the power of the city at her beck and call. It takes a lot of strength, will, and determination to try and break that cycle, especially as a kid. We see she’s capable but it’s hard for her to stay the course of good. All we can hope for is one day she’ll see the error of her ways AND get the help she desperately needs to get her out of abusive home and able to learn healthier and kinder ways to live

By contrast, Felix did realize the error of his ways and actively began to try changing, even though it was really hard. No one trusted him, especially not ladybug or Kagami or Adrien, but he still wanted to try. And he did. When confronted by Ladybug and Car Noir again, he didn’t try to fight them, only intending to protect Kagami. When Kagami told him off and what he was doing wrong he apologized and explained himself and what he was trying to do. He also worked to give her freedom again. Being good is not easy for him either, especially with how often he was hurt and abused when he was young, but he’s trying to be better here, and sees that even though it’s hard work, he’s willing to do it. Hopefully he stays on this path.

[hyunpic]

[fruitcoops]

So this is sort of similar to the people writing fanfic about the lions but can you imagine the YouTube edits? Like the videos that are just "Cap having heart eyes for Loops for 10 minutes straight" or "Loops lovingly dragging Caps name through the mud for 3 minutes" like those kinds of things and I can just imagine them doing reaction videos and it just being funny and the world just loving coops

Okay so this wasn't a specific fic request but I got carried away with imagining videos and....here you go. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace and Anna are mine! Bonus points to anyone who remembers the easter egg in this one!

Message From: Gracie

ANNA HOLY SHIT

Anna frowned at her phone screen, squinting to read around the spiderweb crack decorating the upper corner. She had tried to convince herself that it was cool, goth, edgy, but in the end she had to admit that it was just irritating. In a tragic turn of events, packing tape couldn’t fix everything.

Message To: Gracie

Wtf did I do

Two weeks of radio silence, then unexplained accusations. Anna shook her head as the grey bubble disappeared for a third time and turned back to her computer. Grace may have been her favorite cousin—and favorite person, if she was being honest—but very few things came between Anna and video editing. Especially editing for a Lions meme video. She had a whole 2,341 followers to attend to, after all.

Message From: Gracie

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING INTERVIEW???

Message To: Gracie

Wow thank you so helpful

Message From: Gracie

Skip to 2:45 bestie

A link popped up just as Anna cut a segment from the sleep study video, where Loops’ heart eyes were in full effect. It was a rare, precious find for fan editors like herself.

“Come on,” she groaned. Maybe introducing Grace to the deepest parts of her hockey obsession was a mistake. But, really, what else was she supposed to do when she learned her cousin, who didn’t even live in Gryffindor, got to meet her favorite players just by chilling in a café? What kind of cosmic joke was that?

She narrowed her eyes at the embed of the link, then stifled a shriek. Impossible. How had she missed an upload?

As if on cue, her computer pinged with a new notification from the Lion Pride channel. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, scrambling to save her half-done video and pressing play.

The interviewer asked basic questions, ones she had heard the answers to a million times while curating her content. It always felt funny to hear people refer to Cap as ‘Sirius’—it was too official, too formal. She had spent countless hours on the compilations of his softer moments, and they were her most popular videos. Cap Having Heart Eyes for Loops for 10 Minutes Gay. Cap Being an Actual Puppy for Six and a Half Minutes. Everyone Wanting Cap Cuddles for Fifteen Minutes. Every Time Cap Smiles When Someone Mentions His Godson. The list was endless. She loved it.

She did a silent fist pump when she saw the interviewer had snagged both Cap and Loops; that would give her a whole new stream of workable content. If she was lucky, she could expand on her series of Loops Lovingly Roasting His Friends, part…fuck it, who was even counting anymore?

Anna was so caught up in her excitement that she nearly forgot about Grace’s suggestion. I’ve never skipped through a video on the first watch before, she thought hesitantly. But maybe just this once…

Her cursor hovered over the 2:45mark. She closed her eyes, and clicked it.

“—have you been adjusting to life as a celebrity?” the interviewer asked. Anna nearly rolled her eyes when Loops laughed. That question had been used far too often to be interesting anymore.

“It’s had its ups and downs,” Loops said with a smile. “Mostly, though, the fans have been incredible and just knocked my socks off with their support.”

“Really? What’s your favorite part of the Lions fanbase?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Their creativity, for sure. There was a video a while back where we reacted to some of the comments people left, and this person on Twitter made an absolutely beautiful collage of photos.”

“I have it saved to my phone,” Sirius added.

One more clip for the simp video. Anna made a note on the small corner space of her European History notes. The degree can wait for ten more minutes.

“Do you have a favorite creator?”

The interviewer was clearly teasing, but Loops’ smile was genuine. “I don’t know about a favorite, but there’s this person on YouTube who makes a shit ton of videos and they’re hysterical. I saw one the other day about—god, what was it again?”

“Every time I smile when people mention Harry,” Sirius answered around a laugh. “Can you blame me?”

Anna didn’t hear the next question. A ringing noise filled her ears as she sat, frozen, on her shitty dorm mattress and listened to her literal heroes talk about her dorky little channel. “Holy fuck,” she blurted after a moment of silence. “Holy fuck.”

“—subscribed?” The man’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“Of course I am!” Loops said. “You think I’m passing up a chance to watch a compilation of my friends making stupid decisions for the entire internet to see?”

A noise that would have been a shriek if Anna had any breath left in her body escaped her lungs; she clamped a hand over her mouth and shakily exited from the video before going to her YouTube account. 800 new notifications. 700 new followers in the last quarter hour. She was pretty sure she blacked out for a second from sheer shock and joy.

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

You’re famous!

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

I bet he knows your stuff better than he remembers me tbh

“They know me,” she whispered, staring at her computer. The unfinished video showed a perfect frame of Loops’ soft smile as he watched Cap get his toothbrush stuck in his pajama shirt. Somehow, the thought was both exhilarating and horrifying. What if they thought she was a creep? She wasn’t, not really, just a bored college student with not enough free time for a job but too much to keep herself busy with schoolwork. Her 2,341—no, 3,052—followers were just other hockey nerds looking for time to kill.

And the subject of those videos was one of her subscribers.

Anna slipped her headphones back on and began to edit like it was her last day on earth. Her fingers flew across the keyboard on muscle memory while her brain fizzed. Perfect, she thought. It has to be perfect.

In four hours, it was done. She sat back, panting, then hunched over again and began tapping out a title card.

Hello. Idk if anyone saw the new Lion Pride video today (linked below if anyone wants to see why I’m dying right now) but apparently Remus Lupin is subscribed to this channel and has been for a while.

Hi Loops. I’m Anna. You met my cousin once and she said she liked your sweater.

Now that that’s out of the way, please enjoy the next five minutes of our new rookie being the sappiest mf in existence (except for his fiancé). Mr. Lupin, please tell Hattie I say hello.

She pressed upload, peeled her headphones off, and collapsed backward on her bed.

Message To: Gracie

If I die here, tell the world I did it doing what I loved

Message From: Gracie

Will do

OH FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE SWEATER I SOUND LIKE A CREEP

Anna covered her itchy eyes with her forearm and settled in for a long, long nap. Her brain still needed to repair a few circuits.

[blu-joons]

When He’s Caught Wearing An Item Of Your Clothing ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

As soon as he went live the comments filled with fans taking note of the red fleece that he was wearing for his stream. He tugged on the ends of the sleeves as he tried hard to pretend as if the fleece was his own, but they all knew better.

“I didn’t manage to convince you, did I?” He chuckled, sighing in defeat. “I found this lying around our house this morning and it looks so comfortable; you all know I like thick hoodies,” he laughed, just as you walked into the room.

“I knew that was mine when I watched you come up on the screen.”

“I guess you just shouldn’t have left it lying around, it’s mine now anyway.”

Your head shook, taking a step back so you weren’t on the camera, “you’re lucky your fans are watching right now otherwise I would make sure you gave me my jumper back.”

“If the fans hadn’t of flooded the comments, I bet you wouldn’t have even noticed.”

“I can recognise my own jumper,” you groaned, rolling your eyes across at him. “I’m stealing one of yours as compensation by the way.”

“Wait! That’s unfair, they’re my hoodies.”

Yoongi:

The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile as he opened the link, he’d been sent by his manager to see a photo of him from yesterday wearing a beanie you’d also been photographed in just a couple of weeks prior.

“I’ve been caught,” Yoongi smiled, handing his phone across to you, “now everyone’s going to know that I steal your clothes,” he then sighed, leaning back on the sofa. “People are going to think I’m soft now.”

“Maybe this will teach you to stop stealing my clothes then.”

“It’s my fault your beanies are so big, they just fit my head so well.”

You glanced at the article, the two of you almost looked identical. “You do realise the fans are not going to let you forget this, your reputation has fallen apart now.”

“This is why this is so bad, how am I supposed to carry on pretending to be moody?”

“There’s nothing wrong with people knowing you’re in love,” you reminded him, “plus, I think you look great in my beanies, so I’m not complaining.”

“I guess it wouldn’t be a bad thing for people to know.”

Hoseok:

Jungkook was the first one to spot Hoseok’s brightly coloured shoes as he walked into the dance studio, covering his smile with his hand. Only he wasn’t quite as subtle as Hobi looked across at him trying to figure out what was wrong.

“There’s no way that those shoes are yours,” Jungkook quickly pointed out, “please don’t tell me you’ve reached that stage where you’ve started raiding Y/N’s wardrobe? I swear I’ve seen her wearing those before.”

“All my shoes are dirty, I wanted to wear some clean ones for the recording.”

“Does she know that you’ve taken them? If you make a mess of them, she’ll kill you.”

His head shook shamefully, “I’m just going to pray that she doesn’t notice, and I don’t scuff them. If I do, then it’s on me to buy her some new ones, and these weren’t cheap either.”

“I think she’ll notice that her bright red pair of trainers is missing, she’s not an idiot.”

“Let’s just not say anything,” Hobi acknowledged, spinning the shoes around to check over them, “they’ll go home tonight in the same condition.”

“I bet you that you’ll end up ruining them.”

Namjoon:

He continued to read through a few more questions on the live, letting fans know about where the group was in regard to the comeback, album, tour, and a few more personal things, before a question with your name caught his eyes.

“What’s the story about my new bracelet?” He read out, glancing at his wrists and the brown bangle around it. “This was bought by Y/N, she’s got one too. It’s to celebrate our anniversary that just passed, I really like them.”

You were just about to walk into the room when you stopped hearing the topic of conversation.

“She’s got a really good eye for things that I like, she knows me really well,” he continued.

You smiled softly as he shared with the fans a few other things that you’d bought him over the years, waiting until the conversation changed to finally walk in and grab what you needed.

“What are you talking about?” You innocently smiled, looking over his set up.

“I know you were listening,” he laughed, “I could see the end of your foot poking out through the door frame, you’re not as subtle as you think.”

Sorry, it just made me happy to listen to you.”

Jimin:

The studio lights came back up as the programme came back from the break. The interviewer looked across all the boys before settling their eyes on Jimin. “We’ve seen a lot of comments today talking about your choice of shirt Jimin.”

“This thing,” he smiled, lifting the material up at the shoulders. “This is actually courtesy of my girlfriend, which is why social media is going crazy. Some of her shirts are too good for me not to wear on screen to show off.”

“What does she think about you stealing her clothes? I bet her wardrobe is empty.”

“She doesn’t know I took this, so she’s probably watching this at home now absolutely raging.”

All of the boys chuckled as they knew exactly how you’d be reacting at home. “Shall I set the sofa up at my house now for you to tonight?” Taehyung teased.

“Once she realises that I pull it off better than she does she’ll realise it was good I took it.”

“You’re digging yourself a big hole,” Namjoon warned, pressing his hand to his face, “you’re supposed to say sorry at this point.”

“I’m not apologising when her clothes are so nice.”

Taehyung:

He was very aware as the interview began that his decision to wear a hat would be discussed on social media as he sat down, and as the segment came up to look through Twitter remarks, it was only a matter of time.

“Taehyung why are you wearing Y/N’s hat,” the MC read out, flicking through a few of the replies. “Some of the fans seem to think they’ve seen Y/N wearing that before in a photo of the two of you, is it yours now?”

“It’s not, it’s hers. I just needed something desperately to cover my hair today.”

“You’re well known for your collection of hats, was one of yours not more suitable?”

His cheeks quickly began to flush red as he struggled to find an answer. “It was just convenient to grab this one, plus the colour matches my outfit, none of mine would have matched the same.”

“Well, it seems your fans are huge fans of you raiding Y/N’s wardrobe to solve a bad hair day.”

“She was actually the one who suggested the hat,” he noted, “so all of the credit for this needs to go to her really, not me.”

“I’m sure all of the fans will be quick to thank her for the idea.”

Jungkook:

It had been the one topic he didn’t want to come up during the entire live with the boys, but as the live was about to come to an end, Jin couldn’t help but bring up exactly what Jungkook didn’t want to hear.

“Someone accidentally shrunk their jeans in the wash the other day,” he began, tapping against Jungkook’s thigh. “So, he’s coming to you live today actually wearing his girlfriend’s jeans because he doesn’t have any.”

“They were the only ones I could find this morning, it’s not like I meant to wear them.”

“You could have come to one of us for a pair of jeans, but you just Y/N’s.”

He frowned as Hobi chimed in, only adding to his embarrassment. “You’d be surprised how comfortable women’s jeans can be, I think I’ve found my new favourite pair in these.”

“I don’t think she’ll be quite as willing to give her jeans up for you to wear.”

“I know her weakness,” he laughed, “trust me, I’ll find a way to convince her to give up these jeans for me to wear from now on.”

“You’re brave getting between a woman and her clothes.”

---

Masterlist

[accioecho]

Lee Da Hee for GQ Korea

"Everything becomes memories in the end. You should always strive to have a positive energy."

Feel free to share this translated interview! Though I would appreciate if you could credit me by linking back to this blog or tagging me on Twitter ^_^

GQ: But... uh, why do you look so happy? You’re looking at me with such a happy expression that I don’t know what to do right now.

LDH: Hahaha. No but if I kept listening with a blank expression, I would come off as cold looking. And you would go: “Are you in a bad mood?” So I try to smile more. Otherwise I would come off as cold looking.

GQ: That’s quite a big difference. I got startled when you pulled a straight face.

LDH: Right, it looks like I’m angry. But I’m not, so this is why I try to smile more. If I don’t smile like this, people tend to think I’m cranky. Of course when I get angry, I have a temper, but I’m not usually like that.

LDH: And it goes both ways, it’s easier for me to open up to someone if that person is smiling instead of sporting an expressionless face.

GQ: You were laughing/smiling so brightly that I was kind of hypnotized.

LDH: Hahaha

GQ: When you appeared in the drama “Beauty Inside”, you weren’t the typical villain wearing a red lipstick but were the kind of villain to wear a new, nude shade.

LDH: Ohh, that’s a very nice way to put it.

GQ: Really?

LDH: A nude tone villain. This is the first time I’m hearing this expression, I like it. Yes, up until then, secondary female characters usually tried to win someone’s heart or because they lacked attention and love, they tended to bother the female lead. But “Beauty Inside” was different. It was a different kind of role. I played a villain but my character wasn’t hateful. She had her own convictions and that’s why she was so interesting.    

GQ: Kang Sara was that kind of character, played by Lee Da Hee.

LDH: This is why I didn’t want to play the typical secondary character, the typical second female lead. Yes she was given a fancy background but I also wanted to try something new, something different. Not something that could be shown through strong makeup, I wanted to add a layer of depth to her style.

GQ: I think we could feel the difference hence why it was so interesting. It was obvious that you studied this role a lot and this perfected style has stuck to you, the actress.

LDH: Well, first of all, I find it fun to radically search for something new. In a way that doesn’t stand out too much, while still being faithful to the character, I try to bring out the best of what I can do. Back when I was younger, I had no clue about all that so I just did what I was told to do. As I matured, I discovered what were my weaknesses, what to cover/hide etc. For example, you might think that I’m skinny, and that all my clothes fit me well. But I have a big bone structure so clothes don’t fit all that easily. But because I know this about me, I’m able to adapt,  know how to find the right clothes to try to keep looking pretty. Thanks to the GQ photoshoot, I got to try out this colorful mascara for the first time. And it’s so much fun. As I experience new things one by one, I’m able to see what’s right for me and what’s not.

GQ: It might be insensitive/rude to say this to an actress who has a career spanning 20 years, but I feel like the name Lee Da Hee has become clearer to me since “Beauty Inside”.

LDH: No it’s not insensitive. I’m really thankful that you remember me from that role. No matter how recent the drama is, the point is that you remember me because I left you a good impression. I really appreciate it. To be honest, a lot of people remember me from my role in Beauty Inside. People actually think I didn’t play in many projects before that.

GQ: But you did consistently star in various projects.

LDH: Yes, but I guess they weren’t memorable roles. I don’t think I played characters that stayed in people’s minds. Beyond the character and the role in itself. A drama can be loved by a lot of people, but beyond that, when I watch a show as a viewer, there are some actors that leave a deep impression in the way they play their characters. I wonder if I lacked that kind of aspect. I kept thinking to myself that maybe there was something missing in my acting that didn’t leave a memorable impression.

GQ: You left quite a strong impression after playing roles like Kang Sara in Beauty Inside and Cha Hyeon in Search: WWW. But more recently in LUCA: the beginning, I feel like you shed that strong image. If you found a type of role that fit you, you could have just kept on playing the same kind of characters, but it looks like you’re not afraid to radically change your image.

LDH: You’re right, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to show a different side, something that differed from the bright roles I usually played. After Beauty Inside and Search: www, I was afraid of being type casted. I didn’t want people to think I always played the same kind of roles. But I think I was was too confident when I chose to play in LUCA. I thought I could do anything.

GQ: You thought you could do anything but it didn’t turn out this way?

LDH: Even my mom thought the same thing. That it wasn’t a really good fit. In a few words, she thought my acting felt a bit forced. Hahaha. That it didn’t really flow well. The main takeaway is that I tried something different. If it turns out to be a good fit, then it’s good and if it doesn’t, it means I can just find something that does.    

GQ: Your mother sounds like the type of person who doesn’t mince her words.

LDH: My mom is very level headed. Just by looking at my back, she can tell if I was focused or thinking about something else. I spent a lot of time with my mom, even more so than with friends, and I also cried a lot in front of her. If I ask her “Mom, what’s wrong with me”, she’ll tell me not to think these kind of thoughts, that whatever I’m thinking is not true. We had a lot of moments like that.

GQ: You looked so cheerful today that I didn’t think you could also have rough times.

LDH: Why wouldn’t I? I went through times of depression when I would think, “Am I charismatic enough?”, “Do I lack something as an actress?”. There were times when my self-esteem was very low.

Since I’m tall, I used to have Directors who always said “you don’t match, you don’t match” (with fellow actors). Since I couldn’t do anything about my height, I thought that I could at least work on my body, make myself smaller. So I worked really hard on my diet. I used to eat rice cake soup that my mom used to make using beef broth, once every day. My mom followed along and did the diets with me. Every time. You can guess what kind of mom she is, right? I used to say: “Mom, should we at least drink soju since we only had one meal today?” And we’d share a bottle.

GQ: Hahaha, I see that you don’t hide your positive energy.

LDH: Everything becomes memories in the end. You should always strive to have a positive energy. And try not to think negatively. This way, you can find more motivation when an opportunity comes along, and this is also how more opportunities come up. I know that if I don’t love myself, I’ll end up being depressed and have a low self-esteem. So starting with myself, I also try to be nice to everyone, to compliment them. Let’s not be hurtful, and let’s try not to say mean things. I try to tell myself I’m a good person, and I project that to others as well. Let’s be nice to each other. Let’s be someone that gives off a good energy.

GQ: Why did you hurt your knee?

LDH: Ah, this? (Points to her left knee). I rode one of those electric scooters and fell as I tried to avoid an electric pole.

GQ: It must have hurt a lot if you fell while riding it.

LDH: I’m okay now. It was a bit concerning at first, but I’m just glad I didn’t hurt my face. It’s too bad I fell while riding it for the first time, but I wanted to try it so I learned my lesson now. I don’t even look at the scooters now. I know they’re too dangerous for me.

GQ: You made a very decisive conclusion based on your experience.

LDH: Yes, I should never try to ride a scooter again.

GQ: I also see a scar on your neck. Do you fall often?

LDH: Hahaha. No, I was washing a necklace. It’s a necklace made with my grandmother’s ring but the edge is a bit sharp. I got scratched while washing it a bit hastily.

GQ: Did you grow up under your grandmother’s care?

LDH: No I didn’t... actually both of my grandparents died in a car accident. They were so healthy so I thought they would live for a long time, but they suddenly passed away. When I didn’t work for a while, they used to say “When are you going to make money”, or “how long are you planning to live like that, without earning any money for your mom and dad”. It hurt me sometimes. But whenever I appeared on tv, they were the first ones to watch, and they always asked me when I would be on TV, on which channel... and when the time came, they always made sure to turn the tv on and watch my shows, and whenever we met, they told me they were proud of me, holding my hands and hugging me. I always think about these times. I miss them. Very much.

GQ: This is very moving. I believe these emotions and feelings make who you are.

LDH: I might sound like a crazy person, hahahah, but I have a picture of my grandma and grandpa next to my bed, and I always speak to them: “Grandma, I’m back”. If I’m upset about something, I say “Grandma, this thing just happened and this is so hard. I miss you.” - that’s how I cope and move on. This is how I try my best everyday. It makes me focus on what’s important. My family, tomorrow (the future) and all the things I love.

[arvandus]

Touch (pt 9) - Amity

PAIRING: Dabi x Fem!Reader

STORY WARNINGS: 18+ only please!  Drug abuse/withdrawal, adult language/themes, heavy angst, past trauma/abuse, anxiety/panic attacks, PTSD, fluff, pining, slow burn, eventual emotional SMUT. *please pay attention to the chapter tags as these warnings will apply at different times*

CHAPTER WARNINGS: talk of killing, blood, needle/medical sewing; pining... lots of resistant pining.  Typical sensory overload due to quirk use.

CHAPTER SONG: Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish

Part 1   Part 8

Artwork credit to @hellowon31 on Twitter (https://twitter.com/hellowon31)

Part 9: Amity

Between your second night in a row of poor sleep and waking up incredibly early, it didn’t take long for exhaustion to find you again.  By mid-day your sensory overload had subsided enough that you collapsed into your bed, dreamless sleep dragging you under instantly.  It was short-lived, however; it felt like no sooner had your head hit the pillow, that a knock on your door roused you groggily from your slumber.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you stood up and answered the door to see Toga standing in front of you, a bloodied washcloth held to her temple.

“Oh my god, what happened to you??” you exclaimed, as you let her into your room.

“I was out running some errands and a thug tried to jump me in an alleyway.” Toga replied cheerfully. She halted in her tracks.  “Oh… aren’t you still sick with the flu?”  She instantly covered her mouth and nose with her free hand, taking a step back.

“Huh? Oh!” you exclaimed. Right.  Crap. You forgot about that little white lie.  “Sorry, hang on a sec.”  You quickly went to your medical bag and pulled out a white disposable mask, placing it over your face.  “Is that better?” You asked, your voice muffled.

The tension in Toga’s shoulders instantly left, her posture easing as her hand dropped away from her face. “Yeah, thanks.  Are you feeling okay?  I could try to do this myself this time…”

You balked at the thought of Toga treating her own injuries.

“I’m fine right now, I promise.” You replied. 

The blonde shrugged and fully entered your space, although her folded hands in front of her body communicated she didn’t want to touch anything.

“So, a guy jumped you in an alley?” You asked.

“Yeah.  He was big, too.  And had a quirk that gave him extra reach on his arms.”  Toga explained.

You weren’t quite sure what sort of errands required Toga to be in alleyways, but you had a feeling none of them were good. The curiosity pulled at you - you could feel the question on your lips, but you swallowed it down.  When you had first joined the League, you and Shigaraki had discussed the importance of compartmentalizing your role from the others.  You were the only one out of the group who was defenseless after all, so as the weakest link within the League, you had both decided it would be best if you knew as little of the League’s affairs as possible, in case you ever got captured and questioned.  You were allowed to participate in general discussions regarding the League’s next moves and what areas were important to you that you wanted to focus on, but the nitty gritty details were kept separate: private meetings with other villains, locations, times, that sort of thing.  So, despite your curiosity, you knew not to pry.

Instead, you asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “but I can’t get this to stop bleeding.”

“Let’s take a look.” You gingerly removed the cloth from the wound to see a deep gash in the skin before new blood filled up. You placed the washcloth back over the wound before it could spill over.  “Hm. Better keep that on there.  You’re going to need stitches.”

“I figured.” She grinned. She took over holding the cloth to her head while you grabbed your medical bag.  You escorted her into your bathroom and had her sit on the toilet seat. Her outfit was speckled with blood, some of it from her wound, and, you suspected, some of it not.

“So…” you started, as you washed your hands in the sink. “What happened to the thug?”

“I drained him.” She replied cheerfully.  The casualness of her statement filled you with a confusing mixture of fear and pity.

“You killed him?” you asked, as you prepped your needle and thread.

Toga looked at you with her yellow feline-like eyes.  “He would have killed me if I didn’t.”

“Tilt your head back.” You instructed.  Toga did as you said, and you carefully removed the cloth before placing your fingers over her open wound. She winced slightly at the contact, but quickly relaxed as your quirk soaked in. 

Silence filled the room as you cleaned her wound with antiseptic and set to work.  The heavy quiet dragged on as your mind mulled over the girl next to you.  You had a thousand questions in your mind, but none of them seemed very appropriate to ask, not without upsetting her.  And despite your good standing with the League, you made it a careful point not to get on anyone’s bad side.  It wasn’t so much that you didn’t trust them, although a part of you was always wary around those who were willing to commit violence.  But you also understood on a personal level that the problems these villains had went far deeper than society was willing to acknowledge.  Mental illness, quirkology, environment… all of it played a role in dealing the hand that these outcast individuals had been dealt.

Minutes passed as you stitched up the cut and cleaned the blood from the sealed wound once more. You were washing your hands when Toga finally spoke, her voice soft.  “Are you mad at me?”

You paused to look down at her.  Her brow was furrowed, her mouth pulled into a sulky frown as she stared at her hands. She looked like a child waiting to be scolded, and in that moment, you could see how young she still was.  You gave a soft sigh.  “Of course not.  He attacked you, right? You had to defend yourself.”

You paused then followed up with, “I’m sorry you had to do it.”

“Don’t be…” she replied. “I liked killing him.”

Your hands faltered as you began putting away your supplies and Toga noticed. 

“You don’t like it, do you?” she asked, accusation lacing her voice. She was defensive, waiting for your judgement. 

You couldn’t blame her. No doubt her quirk was something she likely struggled with all of her life before finally giving in to it.  She had never given you her story directly, but it wasn’t hard to guess.  Everything about her – from her ramblings to her actions - spoke of a caged animal who finally got a taste of freedom and refused to be captured.

Contradicting feelings warred within you, and you struggled to wrangle them.  You had to admit, you hated the idea of her killing.  More importantly, you knew that her victims weren’t always street thugs, villains, or corrupted heroes.  But at the same time, despite this uncomfortable fact, you also understood how strongly quirks affected behavior, how it could act like a poison, messing with the mind and forcing its way into being expressed.  It wasn’t the first time you’d seen it; you understood it intimately.

You looked down at her and a familiar sense of pity unfurled in your gut, snaking into your veins, pulling at your emotions even as your core roiled at the idea of needless violence. She was just like him... a victim in her own way, despite the horrific things she did.

“You think I���m a monster.” Her words cut through your thoughts, and your attention refocused on her. She had her knees hugged up to her chest, her feet propped on the closed toilet lid that she occupied.  You mentally scolded yourself for abandoning her as you got lost in your head and crouched down next to her.

“No.  I don’t think you’re a monster.” You answered soothingly.

“Then why do you look scared of me?” Toga demanded. 

You gave her a smile that you hoped reached your eyes. She was more perceptive than you gave her credit for sometimes.  You had to choose your words carefully. 

“I’m not scared of you.” You explained.  “ But I am a healer, Toga. I see someone who’s hurt, and I want to take that pain away.  It’s what my quirk is. It’s a part of who I am and it’s what motivates me. So, I won’t deny that it’s hard for me sometimes to understand why you do what you do because it’s so opposite of how I am.”

Toga averted her eyes, her body tightening in on itself.

“But…” you continued as you placed a hand on her forearm, “I’m not scared of you.  And even though you do monstrous things, I don’t think you’re a monster.”

Toga slowly lowered her knees, letting her feet touch the floor as she stared at you.  “Why not?” she asked.

“Because,” you replied, “You still care about people.  You and Twice were the first to welcome and befriend me when I joined the League. And the way you take care of Twice… like he’s your big brother… that counts for something.  You even care about Dabi, even though he’s an ass. That was why you checked on him that night, right?  You treat each of us like family.  Now why would a monster do that?”

“But I still want to cut you guys all the time…” she confessed.

“I know.  But you don’t.  That should count for something.”

Toga smiled at you with teary eyes.  “You’re so nice, big sis.”  Her compliment made you smile. 

Toga hopped of the toilet with a nimble bounce, signaling the end of the conversation.  “Am I all done?”

You nodded.  “You’re free to go.” You announced.  Toga made her way to your bedroom door, but she halted when you called her name.  “Toga… don’t forget to change your clothes.”

Toga looked down at the bloodstains splattered across her school uniform.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  Thanks, big sis!”

She left your room with a jovial wave.  As soon as the door closed behind her, you slumped down onto your bed as you removed the white mask from your face and placed it on your nightstand.  Exhaustion washed over you again, deeper this time than it was before.  It wasn’t even so much due to your quirk since you didn’t have to use very much of it this time.  Instead, your mind focused on Toga, replaying the conversation.  It filled you with a swath of competing emotions; pity, anger, frustration, helplessness, fear.  The feelings swirled in you making a rank stew in your soul, old and familiar.

This was just like before.

You shoved the feelings aside, unwilling to look too closely at them. You already had enough on your plate as it was… you didn’t want to dredge up more of the past.  It would only add more stress and it wouldn’t change anything.

You laid down again in the hopes that this time, finally, your sleep would be nightmare free and uninterrupted.

 * * * * *

The withdrawal-induced restlessness Dabi felt lasted throughout the day, making sleep near impossible.  To keep himself from going crazy, he forced his energy into cleaning up his space, despite his typical disdain for chores.  He straightened up his desk, took out the trash, and most importantly, did his laundry. It was overflowing and stank of mildew, and he was in desperate need of clean towels.  His bed was no better, reeking of sweat and infection and covered in chip crumbs. But while his body appreciated the movement, the lack of mental power the activities required did little to distract from intrusive, obsessive thoughts.

He wasn’t sure which thoughts he wanted to avoid more - thoughts of his family or thoughts of you.  The memories of family were old and familiar, but the emotions in them were raw, threatening to suck him in and shred him to pieces like it’d already done so many times before.  But thoughts of you weren’t much better, at least not to Dabi. He didn’t like the warmth he felt each time he thought of you, and yet he kept going back to that feeling, like opening the fridge to stare at that last piece of cake.  He was at war with himself, and he didn’t know how to fight it.

Somehow, with all of his coming and going from his room, he somehow managed to never run into you. He wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good thing or not, but like all other uncomfortable thoughts, his forced himself not to focus on it.  It shouldn’t be important.  You shouldn’t be important.  His mouth pressed into a thin line.  The number of times he had to tell himself that were becoming too many to count, and it never did seem to make much difference.  

The cleaning only occupied him for so long.  Towards the end of it he found himself sitting in his room, waiting for his clothes to finish drying so he could retrieve them.  He had laid back on his bed just for a moment, to stare at his phone. He woke up an hour and a half later, his mind muddled with jumbled dreams and memories.  Cigarette smoke, a child’s laughter, the sound of himself screaming in agony…

He shook his head to knock the unwanted fog from his brain and grabbed a smoke to soothe the shaking in his hands.  The cigarette was gone within a minute.  The haze still lingered though as every inch of Dabi’s nerves hummed and his gut clenched in discomfort.  So, he inhaled a second cigarette for good measure and followed it up with an electrolyte drink paired with a couple of antacids.  His laundry was likely done now; no point in letting it sit there and risk another League member touching his things.

With the laundry dry and sitting on his bed in a crumpled heap, he stared at the contents, a frown on his face.  Your towels were mingled with his, and the sight of it filled him with an uneasiness that had little to do with his withdrawal.  It looked entirely alien to him, intrusive in his personal space.  His stomach gave a weird flutter before giving way to a wave of nausea.

Stupid, he thought to himself.  They’re just fucking towels.

He began folding the first towel. It was half-assed in its effort and one hundred percent intentional, as if giving careful care to your items would give away something about himself he wanted to keep secret.  But even as he did so, intrusive curiosity crept into his mind.  How did you fold your towels?

Idiot.  He caught his wandering mind and reeled it back in forcefully, but it did little good. His mind was a master escape artist, running away to explore other unwanted thoughts without his permission as soon as his mental back was turned.

As he folded your items, his hands slowed slightly in their actions, taking in the feel of cotton on his fingers. He watched as he rolled the soft material between his thumb and forefinger while memories bubbled forth, broken and vague.  Waking up in the shower, sitting on the toilet with your towel over his head, feeling of your hands working the cotton over his wet hair. He tried not to think of your face, but of course not wanting it made it appear in his mind.  He remembered your eyes, the concern in them, and the memory filled him with a warmth that he was still struggling to understand, even as he tried to deny its presence. 

It was short-lived – the memory of your tender gaze soon faded away to a terrified one, and now he was remembering your scar.  A new thought came into his mind then, dark and plaguing. The look of fear you’d given him that night - did you wear that same frightened expression on your face when you were burned, marked by whatever asshole laid their hands on you?

Dabi could feel his body temperature begin to rise.

The last towel was folded, and he swiftly grabbed the pile and shoved it on top of his dresser as if were contaminated.  Contaminated with memories, contaminated with you…

He faltered for a moment, his anger disrupted by that strange sense of guilt that gnawed at him.  The unwelcome mental picture of you cowering in fear as flames licked your skin danced in his imagination.  No wonder you had been so utterly terrified of him that night. No wonder you’d been unable to look him in the eyes the next day…

Dabi caught himself staring at your things and forced himself to turn around to finish his laundry. He folded his clothes swiftly, not caring whether or not they were done nicely before shoving them into the dresser drawer. Then, with his clean towels in his arm, he went into the bathroom to give himself that much-needed shower.

 * * * * *

You woke up feeling groggier than usual as the orange-red glow of the late afternoon haze filtered into your room. As predicted, your sleep was restless and riddled with hazy uncomfortable dreams that instantly began to fade away as soon as you opened your eyes.  You sighed in annoyance as dissatisfaction slinked across your tired skin. It was as if you had slept the entire time with your body tensed, ready to run at a moment’s notice, and now you were feeling the effects. 

You got out of bed with a stretch to ease the stiffness in your muscles.  Maybe something to eat and drink could lift your spirits and wake your body up.  You slipped on your shoes and opened the door before remembering to grab your mask off of your nightstand.  Then, you left your room to trudge downstairs.

The smell of pizza greeted you as soon as you stepped out onto the main floor, and your stomach growled in response, your mouth watering.

“Y/N!” Toga cheered. “Did you take a nap?”

You frowned as your hand self-consciously went to your messy hair. Was it really that obvious?

“Yeah, I was pretty tired.” You confessed, as you tried to fix your stray strands.

“Are you feeling any better?” Magne asked.  You could tell she was asking about the ‘flu’ you were supposed to have.

You shrugged. “Yeah, a little…”

“And how about Dabi? You were treating him too, right?” Magne continued.

You felt embarrassment bubble in you, and you scratched at your cheek as a distraction.  “He’s doing okay… I think it’s hitting him harder, though. He’s probably going to need some more time to recover.”

“He came down here yesterday without a mask and everything.” Spinner grumbled. “Then decided to take a stroll.  He couldn’t be that bad, could he?”

You shrugged. “Stomach bugs are weird and vary from person to person.”

Shigaraki’s voice surprised you from behind.  “How’s his burn?”

He knew about that…?  Maybe Dabi said something the day before.  Either way, no point in lying about it now…

“It’s doing well... but it’s not completely healed yet.”

Shigaraki grunted and grabbed a slice of pizza from the open box sitting on the bar.

“Hey, Y/N!  You want some pizza?” Twice offered.

“Yes, that’d be-“

“She can’t eat pizza when she has the flu!” Toga scolded.  “She might throw it up.  She needs something simple!”

Your heart sank.  No pizza??

“No, it’s okay…” you started, your eyes staring at the perfect slice.

“I’ll go make you something, okay big sis?” Toga chirped as she bounded lightly towards the small kitchen behind the bar.

Oh… oh no….

“Oh, um… it’s okay Toga, I’m not really hungry…” you tried to call after her, but she was already gone and out of earshot.

You fiddled with your hands nervously.  Cooking was not one of Toga’s strong suits.  Fortunately, Kurogiri was present, watching the exchange.

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t burn down the kitchen.” He commented, as he followed after her.

You stood there awkwardly, strongly contemplating grabbing the entire pizza box and running away with it. But you’d just had that personal exchange with Toga earlier, so abandoning her when she was trying to do something nice for you probably wouldn’t go over well.

Damn it.  You were too nice for your own good sometimes.

On defeated feet, you walked over to the couch and sat down next to Compress who was reading a book. He put the item down as you sat next to him and gave you a smile.  “How nice of you to grace me with your company, little flower.”

You crossed your arms and sulked into the couch cushions, wishing they would swallow you up.  “Toga is cooking for me.”

“Oh dear, so I heard.” He commented.  “However, Kurogiri is supervising her.  Perhaps this time it won’t be so bad.”

“Kurogiri doesn’t eat.” You pointed out.

“True,” he laughed. “But perhaps you set your standards too high.  I never said he’d ensure that the food is good; however, his assistance may ensure that it is edible.”

“Don’t you use logic on me, Mr.” you replied, even as you tried to suppress a smile.

“Then perhaps a magic trick then?” he offered.  “As a distraction.”

“Sure.” You grinned.

A few minutes later, Toga came out with two steaming bowls sitting on a rectangular tray.

“Oh good! You’re still here!” Toga smiled.  “I made you soup!”

You stifled a groan as you stood up and stared at the contents.  It… didn’t look bad…. It looked like it was canned soup at least, which, all things considered, were one of the simplest things to make. Still, it had that a slight burned odor to it when the steam reached your nose.

“Why are there two bowls?” you asked.

“Oh!  One’s for you and one’s for Dabi.”  Toga explained.  Behind her, Magne chuckled at the table.  “He hasn’t come down to eat yet today so he’s probably hungry.”

“It was my suggestion.” Kurogiri stated.  “You are still sick after all, so it would be in the League’s interest if you and Dabi had your meals in your rooms until you are no longer contagious.”

“Maybe it can be like a little dinner date!” Toga added.

You fought the flush of hot heat that seemed to take over your insides.  “A what?”

The last thing you needed was the League thinking you and Dabi were dating.

The blonde girl giggled as she handed you the tray.  Her hands instantly went up to her hot cheeks, her eyes glazed over with infatuation. “What I wouldn’t give to have a private dinner date with Izuku!”

“Oh geez, not this again…” Spinner grumbled.

“Hey!” Toga shot at him.  “It’s rude to tease a girl in love!”

You were grateful that Toga was easily distracted, and you took the opportunity to make your escape. “O-Okay. I guess I’ll go take this upstairs then… Thank you, Toga.” You mumbled.

You walked out of the room quickly, the soup sloshing in the bowls and threatening to spill.  But you wanted to get out of there before things got even more awkward.  Toga wasn’t even the real concern – the real concern was Magne.  Her chuckle had not gone unnoticed by you, and she was a master conversationalist when she wanted to be.  The last thing you needed was more intrusive questions or implied statements, especially with everyone there to listen in.

You took the stairs instead of the elevator, not trusting the old rust bucket to run smooth enough with bowls of hot soup in front of you.

Dinner date.  You wanted to laugh.  Dabi certainly wasn’t the type to do dinner dates.  In fact, Dabi probably didn’t even date. He probably just hooked up with random girls whenever he felt like it.

Your stomach tightened into an uncomfortable knot.

It didn’t matter.  You weren’t his type anyway.  And he shouldn’t be yours, not with all of his baggage. And boy, did he seem to have a lot of baggage.  Besides, he didn’t need the pressure of someone pining over him while he struggled to keep himself together.  He needed someone he could trust.  He needed a friend.

You felt yourself start to calm as you centered yourself on that single fact.  He needed a friend. You could do that.  You’d already committed yourself to it.

You made it to your own room and set the tray on the floor outside your door so you could go in and grab your medical bag.  If you were going to take soup to Dabi, then you might as well treat his wounds and give him his pills.  It was about time for it anyway.  With your bag slung onto your shoulder and the tray once again in your hand, you went over to his door and knocked.

It opened and you froze, eyes wide, as a warm humid air wrapped you up in the scent of shampoo and body wash.

Dabi stood before you in nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants that left little to the imagination.  Shit. It hadn’t even been a full five seconds and you were already staring at his crotch.  Hot embarrassment flooded you as you averted your eyes, only to get stuck on his glistening, bare form.  You’d seen him shirtless many times, had your hands on his body, even… but something about this moment was different.  Maybe it was the shower.  Maybe it was the simple - yet absolutely sinful - sweatpants.  Or maybe it was how he seemed to be carrying himself in this moment, like he was the king of his domain.  He was a living art piece, every angle of him stunning from the slope of his shoulders to the cut of his lean waist. Even his stitches looked beautiful, the light bouncing off of them like gems.  Whatever it was, Dabi seemed to be a thousand times hotter than you remember him being, and it left your brain feeling dumb as hot desire washed over you.

You were staring.  You knew you were staring but you couldn’t break the trance he seemed to put you in. Your eyes took in the cut of his cheekbones, the slope of his nose, the shape of his lips.   Aqua blue eyes stared at you in knowing amusement, grabbing you like the tide and pulling you in.  You could feel yourself floundering beneath his intense gaze as you struggled to get a hold of yourself.

“Uh…” you stuttered.

You were still staring.

“Hey, Doll­…” He greeted, a playful grin on his lips.  His voice washed over you, and you felt lightheaded.

This was so embarrassing.  If he had any doubts that you found him attractive before, then he certainly didn’t now.

“Hi.” You said dumbly.

His eyes broke contact with yours to look down.  “Hey-” His hand shot out to quickly grab the tilting tray, soup splashing messily over the sides of the bowls.

“Shit! Sorry, sorry.” You cursed, as you adjusted your hold. You kept your eyes down, unable to stare at him any longer.  “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” 

Was that a chuckle you heard in his voice?  How dare he.

You crossed the threshold, only to find yourself even more smothered by the clean scent of his recent shower that permeated the entire space like a fog.  Beneath it, the faint hint of cigarette smoke was present, but it was muted.  The light in the room was dimmer than you remembered and you realized why – he had put one of his shirts over his shoddy lamp, reducing its brightness.  The humid warmth in the room was paired with a strange heavy silence.  Your eyes instantly checked his window and there was no billow of the curtains this time, no street noise coming forth.  Your breath froze in your throat for a moment as you realized – he remembered.  All the things that had bothered you this morning were modified for your arrival.  A weightlessness swelled in your chest, intertwining with the attraction you were still grappling with.  You set the tray down with shaky hands before wiping your sweaty palms onto your pants.

Dabi came to stand next to you with his towel on his shoulder, the warm bare skin of his chest brushing against your arm as he stared down at the bowls.  With his proximity so close and your own emotions running amok, it took every ounce of mental fortitude not to hug him right then and there.

“Did you make that?” he asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Oh, uh.. Toga did.” You finally said, as you moved slightly away from his bare skin.

“We should have let the tray fall.”  He stated as he stared at the contents with distaste.  You couldn’t help but laugh at his comment, and it helped clear some of the brain fog.  He gave you a soft glare.  “Why did you even take this?  You should have just said no.”

“Well, not all of us can be as nice as you, Dabi.” You teased.  “Besides, she wanted to do something nice for us because she thinks we’re sick.”  You explained.

“If I eat that I probably will be.” He retorted.

“Oh, come on… it’s probably not that bad… just a little smokiness to it.  That shouldn’t bother you, right?” You put a spoon into a bowl and handed it to him.

He gave you a deadpan look as you held the bowl against his chest, his hands refusing to take it. “I’m not eating it.”

“Hey, if I have to eat this, then so do you.” You glared.

“Like hell.” He replied. “Besides, I already have food here.”

You set the bowl down and stared at the bags on his desk.  “Yes, chips, beef jerky, and cigarettes!  So healthy.”

“The three basic food groups.” He agreed with a grin. He sat down in his desk chair, his legs spread wide as he slouched back.  It took extra effort to not let your eyes wander.  “Tell ya what, doll… you try it first.  If you don’t throw up or die, then maybe I’ll consider eating mine.”

You rolled your eyes at him and grabbed your bowl.  “Fine, you big baby.” 

You filled your spoon and raised it to him in a mock toast before placing it into your mouth.  He watched the motion in silent amusement, his eyes focused on your lips as they closed around the spoon.

It was awful.  Definitely burnt.  And the parts that weren’t burnt were overcooked, making the textures all wrong in your mouth.  You swallowed forcefully, suppressing a gag.

“Mmm… You look like you enjoyed that.”  Dabi teased.

“Hey at least I’ve actually tried it.” You shot back.  “So, I guess that means only one of us is a little bitch.” 

Dabi’s eyes widened, the light in them dancing in amusement, as a grin spread across his face. “You kiss your mother with that mouth, doll?  You’ve been with the League too long.”

You pointed your spoon at him.  “Don’t try to act like you know me.  And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not dead.  So eat up.”  You picked up his bowl again and held it under his nose. By this point, you knew the soup wasn’t really that edible, but now you were determined to have him suffer with you.

The smell wafted up and he wrinkled his nose.  He pushed the bowl away back towards you.  “I don’t think so.”

You narrowed your eyes at him.  “You said you’d try it if I did.”

“I said I’d consider it.”  He replied. “It’s been considered and denied.”

“You’re an ass.” You pouted. “It really is awful though…” you confessed.  “and she had Kurogiri with her, too.  Like… how?”

“Kurogiri doesn’t eat.” Dabi replied.

You laughed.  “That’s what I told Compress!”

Your conversation was interrupted by a loud, hungry rumble in your gut.

A low chuckle rumbled from Dabi’s chest that made your heart pound and your flesh feel warm.  “C’mon doll, don’t torture yourself.” He said. “Why don’t we just go get a bite to eat. There’s nothing keeping us locked up in here.”

Toga’s words echoed in your head.  Dinner date.  Oh geez, if she or Magne saw you two leaving the premises together, you’d never hear the end of it.  The offer was tempting though, and you were pretty sure Dabi was starting to get tired of his snacks.  Junk food could only satisfy for so long; at some point he needed a proper meal.

But something nagged at you as you stared at the man in front of you.  He seemed to be doing okay at first glance… his recent shower certainly seemed to lift his spirits.  But you had been too distracted by his attractiveness earlier that you hadn’t taken the time to really assess him.  Now, you could see the exhaustion still in his face, could see the small wiggle of his leg and the drumming of his fingers on the table.   You checked the time on your phone – no doubt your quirk and the pills were beginning to wear off.  But how far along that was, you couldn’t really say; it was hard to tell with Dabi; he didn’t show his pain very easily.

You knew your appetite would disappear once you pushed yourself into sensory overload.  But Dabi couldn’t wait, even if he might try to play it off that he could.  More importantly, you didn’t want to try to deal with a withdrawal-suffering Dabi out in public. Your heart sank slightly. Goodbye delicious dinner, for the second time that night.

“…I should probably treat you first.” Your eyes landed on his bag of goods as your stomach rumbled again. “But maybe a snack would be good.” You confessed.  You felt embarrassed for asking, especially after the big show you’d just point on… but pride had to take a back seat before your stomach ate itself.

His blue eyes stared at you for a long moment.  You could feel your skin start to prickle under the weight of them.

“Sure, doll.”  He finally said.  He rummaged through one of the bags until he found what he was looking for under a bag of spicy chips.  “Is this your style?”

He tossed you a prepackaged muffin about the size of a softball.  You couldn’t fight the smile that blossomed across your face.  “Yeah, thanks.”  You opened up the wrapping and began breaking off pieces of it.  “You want some?” you offered, holding the muffin towards him.

He shook his head. “Nah.  Don’t feel much like eating.”

You broke off half of the muffin for him anyway.  “I still need to give you your pills, so you should eat something first.  Besides, this is too big for me to finish by myself anyway.” 

Was it a lie?  Of course. You were starving.  Did Dabi know that you were lying?  Of course.  But he took the other half of the muffin anyway.  You sat on the edge of his bed while he sat in his chair as the two of you ate together in silence for a moment. As you ate, your eyes wandered around his room.

That was when you noticed it.

 “Are those my towels?” you asked. 

Dabi looked over at his dresser as he stuffed the last of the muffin into his mouth.  “Yeah.  They’re clean now.”

“Thank you…” you replied. Your eyes scanned the room, taking in the details.  “You cleaned up…”

Dabi shrugged. “Don’t sound so surprised. I’m not a complete slob.”

You stared at him as he began fidgeting with a pack of cigarettes, tapping the box on the table, flipping it over, and tapping the other end.  Over and over it somersaulted, and you wondered if he was craving one right now.  Why didn’t he just take one out and light it up?

Was Dabi… being considerate?

Then again, the action didn’t come as much of a surprise to you as it might have before.  He’d been more willing to do small acts of kindness ever since the night of his withdrawal.  Bringing ramen.  Adjusting his room for your sensory overload.

Now this.

Was it fueled by guilt? Or did he actually care?

He looked like he was waiting for something.  You watched as he rubbed at his scarred arm with his free hand, irritation flashing across his eyes.  Of course. He was waiting for you and your quirk. You ate your muffin faster.  As soon as it had disappeared into your mouth, you reached for your bag and took out the pill bottle.  His eyes were on it instantly, the shaking in his leg stilled by the sight of it, his shoulders releasing some of their tension.

“Here.” You offered, handing him his pills.  He took them and swallowed them dry before opening up a beverage and taking a swig.

Dabi eyed the bottle in your hand as you closed it.  “That’s looking awfully low there, isn’t it?”

You put the container back in your bag, enclosing it in a zippered space.  “It’ll be enough to last us through tomorrow morning.”

“That’s cutting it real close, don’tcha think?” he replied.

You looked up to see his brow furrowed in concern and offered him a reassuring smile.  “It is.  But I’ll be picking up the refills tomorrow before our evening session, so there’s nothing to worry about.  Now let’s take a look at your back real quick.”

He stood up and dragged his chair over to where you sat and straddled the seat with his back facing you. The bandage was still on, but you could tell it had gotten wet in the shower.  You’d have to be careful when changing it this time, since the bits of skin that were starting to heal might reopen.

You applied your quirk first around the bandages, then began to delicately remove the wet gauze and tape. Your fingers were cold on Dabi’s skin and a small shiver ran up his spine at the sensation of your touch.  The wound didn’t show any signs of infection or fresh damage, so you continued business as usual, applying the antiseptic followed by fresh gauze.  As you patched him up, your eyes kept drifting to your towels, thinking about what had happened that night.  There was something important you’d been meaning to ask him.  Something you had to know.

“I… have a question.” You ventured.

“Hm?” Dabi responded, his head turning slightly to the sound of your voice.

“The next day… after I helped you out that one night… was there anything… off?  About you specifically?” you asked.

There was a long pause and you could tell Dabi was thinking heavily, which only made the dread in your gut sink in deeper.

“I couldn’t feel anything.” He finally admitted. 

“I’m not talking about the pain.  I’m talking about… I don’t know.  Anything else.”

“I know.” He replied. “When I woke up, I couldn’t feel anything.”

Your brow furrowed and the dread hardened into a stone.  “…what does that mean?”

“It means I didn’t care about a thing, doll.  Everything was turned off.” He was facing away from you and in that moment, you wished he wasn’t – you desperately wanted to see the expression on his face.  Your hands felt clammy as you processed his words.

“You mean your emotions?” you clarified.  You needed to understand more.  You needed to know how bad it was.  “What… did it feel like?”

“Empty.”

You finished putting the last bandage on him but you barely noticed as your vision became unfocused, your thoughts whirling.  Holy shit. You had turned off his emotions?  You supposed in hindsight it made sense, since it was likely his memories and the emotions attached to them that were torturing him that night.  Why else would he have been blabbering incoherent apologies as if he were desperately trying to atone for something? But still… the severity of that made your blood run cold. Emotions were everything, contrary to what some people might think. They fuel how people think, how they act, how they react… entire personalities – entire identities are built around how emotions are felt and how they are dealt with.  You very well could have entirely erased Dabi as a person. In fact, you likely did, at least temporarily.

You swallowed the hard lump in your throat and tried to calm your panicked breathing.  “…How long did it last?”

He was quiet again, and the silence was worse than anything.

“Please tell me.” You begged.  “How long?”

“Hours.”

Your heart was racing and your ears ringing.  Your eyes began to sting but you fought it, focusing on a patch of scarred flesh on his back to distract yourself, memorizing its pattern.  You didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not again.  And certainly not twice in one day.  You wanted to apologize, to beg his forgiveness, but you couldn’t make the words come out, not without your emotions spilling out with them.  Instead, you forced yourself into action, treating his scars with your quirk. 

There was so much more you wanted to know. How did he get his emotions back?  What did it feel like? Was it slow, or at all at once? Did he feel relieved?

Did it hurt?

But you couldn’t bring yourself to ask those questions, no matter how badly you wanted to know, no matter how badly you wanted to understand.  They were too personal, and you could already tell by Dabi’s growing reluctance that he didn’t want to talk about it any further.

You’d apologize to him. At some point, once your emotions were under control, you’d apologize.

You finished numbing his back and shoulders, even tracing down his triceps a little.  “Turn around,” you instructed.

He did as you asked, adjusting himself in the chair so he was now facing you.  You avoided looking at him, the shame and guilt far too heavy for you to lift your eyes.  Unbeknownst to you, a frown pulled at his brow, his lips.  You wore your emotions so plainly…

You took his hand in yours and continued your quirk as your skin began to prickle and sting. The sound of the shower dripping in the bathroom was louder now. Dabi shifted slightly in his chair and the scraping sound against the floor was like nails on a chalkboard.  The odors in the room went from pleasant to offensive.

“I gotta question for ya,” Dabi suddenly ventured.  “Did you change my clothes that night?”

Your hands faltered and you glanced up at his face before you could catch yourself.  His eyes had a glint in them you couldn’t quite place in your distracted mental state.  You felt embarrassment creep across your skin.

“I did.  I had to get you into the shower before you combusted.” You replied as you continued to treat him, your hands on his collarbone. The feel of it was so familiar now…

“I was naked?”

“Only for a moment!” you replied.  “You were in your boxers for most of it, but I had to change you out of those after the shower.” God, this entire conversation was so embarrassing… why did he have to ask about this of all things?

“…did ya peek?” he asked.

Your mouth struggled like a fish out of water for a moment as you glared at him.  “NO!” You finally exclaimed.  “Of course, I didn’t!  Why would you even…”  but then you saw the grin on his face and you realized he was teasing you. 

You playfully punched his arm.  “You’re an asshole.” You fumed.

He laughed.  “That didn’t even hurt.” He mocked.

“Of course it didn’t, idiot. I already used my quirk there.” You shot back.  “Now stay still so I can get your damn face.”

“So feisty…” he murmured.

Shit.  With your senses heightened, you could almost feel the vibration in his voice, as if he were closer to you than he actually was. For the briefest moment, it distracted you from the growing pain of your scar, from the sound of the drip drip from the bathroom shower.  You wondered what it would feel like to have those words uttered against your skin, his hot breath warming your flesh, the feel of his rough lower lip brushing…

You clenched your jaw until you nearly gave yourself a headache, forcing the intrusive thoughts out of your mind.  You weren’t here for this.  You were here to treat him and get out of his space.  You weren’t his type.  You repeated it to yourself like a mantra, a prayer, a reminder to the illogical part of you that wanted to follow the lure of his voice.  Why did he have to be such a flirt?  It didn’t surprise you, but it certainly left you feeling confused when his actions and words sometimes contradicted themselves.

All it meant was that he was getting comfortable with you again. He was treating you like a friend, and friends teased all the time.  Right?

His eyes watched you closely as your hands caressed his jaw, relieving the ache there.  You seemed lost in your thoughts and while you certainly didn’t look comfortable, you also didn’t look too be too horribly in pain. You were doing better today.  Still, your fingers danced quickly across his skin, skating under his eyes which he instinctively closed, and barely touching his lower lip.  It happened far too quickly before the presence of you disappeared, and it left him feeling empty.  How badly he wanted to grab your hands right then and put them back onto his face. 

When he opened his eyes again, your own eyes were downcast as you stretched your fingers slightly.

“You okay?” he ventured. The question sounded odd coming from him, even to his own ears.

You looked up at him then, and you could see he was concerned. That’s right… he knew about your quirk and your scar now.  You clasped your hands in your lap to keep them from shaking.  Shaking from the pain you were feeling, shaking from the fear of your own thoughts and desires.

“I’m fine.” You lied. Did he know you were lying with this too?

He knew.  In fact, you’d given him the same false words he always gave you.  It was like looking into a mirror.

“You don’t gotta do the legs.” He offered.  “I’m not dressed for it anyway.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You chided.  “Of course I’m going to do your legs.  The better I treat you, the better you can rest.  And your body needs rest to heal your burn.”

He noticed that you made no comment on his withdrawal, which a part of him appreciated; it helped him avoid the discomfort of shame that was always associated with it. Still…

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere, doll.  I won’t be needing them.  Besides, the drugs help.” He replied.

You eyed him for a moment, assessing.  “How about I just do your calves then?” you bartered.

He assessed you in return before he gave a small half-smirk.  “Deal.”

By the time you’d treated his calves down to the tops of his feet, you were definitely grateful you didn’t have to do any more.

PING……..PING……

You rubbed at the bridge of your nose, feeling the onset of a headache as you skirted just shy of overload. You closed your eyes, hoping maybe the lack of visual stimulation might make the auditory more bearable.  Or at least bearable enough that you could actually move your body instead of feeling frozen.  But it only made it worse, allowing your brain to hyperfixate on it. You covered your ears against it as you struggled to find your way out of it, to regain control of yourself.

While you lost yourself in your senses, Dabi watched you in displeasure.  He’d made sure to have everything ready before you showed up.  He even made sure not to light up a cigarette, as much as that had grated on him, since he knew the smell would linger long after. But clearly, something was bothering you.  What had he missed?

He watched, waiting, giving you time to figure yourself out or ask for help while he secretly tried to decode the mystery.  Your eyes were closed, your hands over your ears.  Was it multiple sensory attacks?  You flinched again.  And again. There was a rhythm.  So, it was something you were hearing.

Curiously, Dabi closed his own eyes listening for anything that stood out.  Slowly, the quiet sound of water dripping greeted his ears like a whisper.  He opened his eyes just in time to see your flinch match with the sound.

That was it.

“It’s the shower.” He commented. 

It wasn’t a question – it was a statement.  You opened your eyes and looked at him with surprise before giving a nod, your hands still over your ears.  He knew his shower leaked for a bit after he used it, but he’d gotten so used to it that he just tuned out the sound by this point.  But for you… especially after using your quirk on him…

Why didn’t you just get up and leave?  Why stay here if it was bothering you this much?  Obviously, you wanted to get away from it…

Maybe you couldn’t.  Maybe, for some reason, you were stuck in what you were experiencing, unable to find your way out.

Dabi could relate to that.

And he didn’t like it.

He stood up and closed the bathroom door before returning to sit in the chair in front of you, waiting.

You could still hear it. But it was manageable now, muffled. Quieter.  You could feel yourself start to process the rest of what you were feeling.  The pain on your back; the feel of your clothes, your hair; the smell of Dabi’s body wash, fresh linen… cigarettes.  Slowly, your hands lowered from your ears as you focused on each sense, identifying all you recognized.  The world was still loud around you, but at least you could somewhat function again. Slowly, you opened your eyes to see him watching you through an unreadable expression.

“Better?” he asked.

“Much.” You replied. “Thank you.  Again.”

“It’s fine.”

A heavy, awkward quiet filled the space, and in that moment, despite Dabi’s kindness, all you wanted was to be back safely in your room.  Maybe it was because you were feeling overwhelmed by your own emotions, unable to properly control how your heart pounded around him, or how you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. Or maybe it was the way he kept looking at you, his expression unreadable yet his gaze intense, as if you were all that he was focused on and he was determined to discover all of your secrets.

Either way, you felt an ache grow within you, threatening to drown you. But you couldn’t focus on it, couldn’t dismantle it or bury it, not while your brain fought the senses overwhelming you. You could handle one or the other… but you couldn’t handle both.

You needed the comfort of your room; you needed your safe space.

“I’m… going to go lay down.” You said quietly, as you grabbed your bag.  It felt heavy in your hand.

If Dabi noticed the shift in your mood, he didn’t say so.  Instead, he stood from his seat and shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Yeah.  Me too.” He replied.

Despite the suddenly aloof atmosphere, he still walked you to his door.  After you left, he leaned his back against the cold wood and ran his hand down his face.

So much for not caring…

________________________________________________

Part 10 ________________________________________________

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[enigmaticengima]

When He’s Alone

Character(s): Diluc

Authors Note: This was inspired by a personal project, please enjoy!

[ MASTERLIST ]

Edit (1/16/2021): At the bottom of the post I’ve included a beautiful piece of artwork! Tags, Credit and Links are under the cut at the end!

Edit (1/18/2021): I just noticed the two missing paragraphs. It has been fixed!

Diluc has a natural talent for music and has a deep love and respect for it. When he was younger, before he became a Knight and when he wasn’t training, he could be found humming melodies and playing the Piano. However, after his father died, he stopped playing. Only on the rare occasions when he has time, is feeling sentimental, and he’s sure that he’s alone will you hear the lost, somber melodies echoing in the air.

          It was raining outside, a heavy downfall that filled the air with painful memories. It was a storm not dissimilar to that terrible night four years ago. Diluc was alone in the Winery, dim lights casting shadows on the wall as he read a book. The book in question was a biography, a tome recounting the tales and exploits of some well-known adventurer. He was finding it increasingly harder to focus, the loud bangs and occasional flashes of light were distracting him. After rereading the same paragraph on the same page several times, he gives up and closes the book.

           When he reaches his destination, placing the book back on the shelf, he spots something in the corner of the room. Dusty burgundy fabric haphazardly thrown over something. Giving into his desires, he walks over and removes it, shaking it out before placing it neatly on the nearby table. He remembered that fabric from when he was younger, the heaviness of it to the musty smell, it was the protective covering of his father’s Grand Piano. He could recall the countless hours he spent sitting on that bench, pressing the keys and making music. He smiled a small smile at the fond memories. Music was his guilty pleasure, and quite frankly, it still is. However, he never let himself indulge because... it was too painful. His father had taught him how to play, how to read music and cemented into him early on a deep love for the craft that held to this day. It was something that they did together, it was a major reason as to why they were so close.

He ran his hand over the lid, a buildup of dust over the parts that hadn’t been properly covered. Gently lifting it he checks pins and hammers, everything seemed okay inside. He props it open before moving to the bench. He lifts it, finding pages and pages of old forgotten melodies, music that he’d written, incomplete lyrics with half written harmonies that hadn’t seen the light of day in years.

          He sits on the floor and looks through every single one. He remembers a few, what his intent was when composing them and how he wanted them to sound, old lyrics that were the missing pieces to half completed projects - it came back so fast that it scared him. It was like it never truly left him, bubbling and bubbling up after being suppressed and pushed down to the point where it couldn’t. It was overwhelming. Trembling hands flipped through the now yellowed pages, these were his oldest works with some of his fathers old compositions having been mixed in. He stopped at a page, he’d written this melody specifically with Kaeya in mind - something easy enough for him to play when he had tried to teach him. It wasn’t too long, three pages in the key of C, incredibly simple rhythms compared to what he usually wrote.

Placing the rest of the old music back and closing the bench he placed his desired piece on the music stand. He sits down and lifts the Fall Board, revealing the keys underneath. There’s a pang in his heart as he readies himself to play. He starts slow, playing a simple scale after a while. Having not been used in four years, it was out of tune. Not too badly out of tune, but just enough that anyone with a trained ear could pick up on it. He takes a deep breath, and once he is ready, he begins.

          It was a rather melancholic melody, the feelings that he first felt when he met Kaeya. The tempo was slow, the notes were low to start. In addition to those young and innocent feelings it reminded him of the color blue, which was very much one of his brother’s colors. If he was going to be honest, he never really hated his brother. All he did was bring up a touchy topic at a bad time, and he’d tried to maim him. He was sure Kaeya hated him, and he had every right to. He’d accept the fact and just bear it, gritting his teeth when the cuts and jabs dug too deep.

          At some point he stopped playing what was written on the page, and played what he felt in that moment. Slow antagonizing melodies, harmonies that would haunt anyone listening. It wasn’t very loud, rather quiet and reserved. Expressing himself this way felt the most natural, in this moment he truly felt that he was himself. His frustration, his sadness, his grief, his fear... it was all there. After a while he stops, his impromptu ballad coming to an end. He takes a deep breath, lifting his hands from the pearly white keys. He surprised himself, he hadn’t expected to get carried away like that. He felt... better though, as if he’d just opened his heart to an old friend.

          Making a decision he gets up off the bench and puts the music away. He leaves the room, only to come back a few moments later with the proper materials to restore the piano. He cleans and dusts it off before tuning it. When he’s satisfied he shakes out the cover once more before placing it correctly over the piano. He lightly pats the top before putting away his materials, looking at the instrument longingly before leaving the room.

          Sometimes when it rains, somber melodies can be heard. Melodies cradled by the winds in such delicacy that they’re seldom heard by those who aren’t listening.

This art is posted with the permission of it’s illustrator, @bluepapermints​! Please check out their Twitter, @aldreichd, and their Instagram, @Aldreichdark, for more of their beautiful artwork! If you’d like to check out the original post from Twitter, click the link! 

This illustration is part of a set called The Silence/Between Us

https://twitter.com/aldreichd/status/1348817367757832193

[scaredyships]

Renegades (Din Djarin x gn!Reader) | pt. II

summary: You attempt to get settled into their new life as best as they can, and are mildly appalled at how bare-bones Mando is living.

word count: 6.5k (I guess I just don’t know how to write short things)

author’s notes: More setting the stage before progressing on to following the plot of the show. Sorgan is next chapter, I promise. But for now it's the two idiots and the tiny green gremlin getting accustomed to one another. ngl, as I got to the last little bit I just wanted to get it DONE, so apologies about any awkward writing there.

I spent so much time looking up food and kitchen-equivalents on Wookieepedia for this chapter.

Part 1 / Part 2 (you are here) // ao3 link

---

It wasn’t clear just how little you had to work with until you started to go about trying to figure out your new place as crewmate on the Razor Crest.

You’d think a full-time bounty hunter, even one that worked solo, would have a little more in storage other than the vast amount of weapons, like an extra bed roll or blankets or something. But no, not this one. He seemed more concerned with having extra firepower than additional living necessities.

You sighed, putting the lid back on the storage crate you'd opened up. You had hoped to find something other than weaponry inside, and while it wasn't exactly weapons, it sure looked like it contained canisters like the ones you saw attached to the mobile carbon-freezing unit he had on board. There were no other places to look.

Standing up straight, you turned to face the length of the hold. If you'd really wanted to, you could have tried to get Mando to let you have the space he normally reserved for housing captive bounty as a space for you to claim. But between you not having the courage, and certainly not wanting to deal with the possibility of a carbonite-frozen bounty being stored there to stare endlessly at you, it was off the table. The hold it was. It was narrow and not exactly intended as a living space, but you could make it work. There was already a dip in the wall where you stood, and with some rearranging of the crates, you could create more of a "wall" to provide some semblance of privacy - and to provide a barrier so you didn't have to deal with seeing the entire refresher unit every time you turned your head.  

Unfortunately, that's where your resources ended. The closest thing Mando had to extra bedding was the rough, heavy-duty netting he kept to tie cargo down with. Hardly suitable for what you were needing. You also had no additional change of clothes. You were already starting to feel self-conscious about it, hoping you didn't start to smell funky too quickly. A shower would only go so far when your clothes hadn't been washed.

A trip to some kind of market was needed. It was a good thing Mando was already intending to stop somewhere to refuel.

You flipped open one of the pouches on your belt, pulling out its contents. Several loose credits, and a couple credit chips. Thank Maker you still had those. With your usual living expenses having significantly downsized now that you were out of a home and all the associated bills that came with it, your budget gave you much more to work with. You had more than enough to get you what you might need. You tucked your credits back into your belt.

There was one more thing you needed to check, but didn't know where it was. The pantry. There was no doubt that Mando's current stock was meant for a single adult individual, and not two adults and a small alien child, so it would need to be supplemented anyways. But what did he already have? Had he recently stocked up, or was he nearing the last of his rations?

You made your way over to the ladder that led up to the helm, where Mando was piloting to wherever he was going to stop for fuel. The kid must've heard you coming, because his head suddenly popped over the edge of the hatch to watch you, twittering curiously. You half-heartedly waved at him, hoping he didn't try to come down by himself.

"Hey, Mando!"

The heavy sound of boots hitting the floor reverberated through the ceiling and came closer to the hatch, until the reflective helmet of the bounty hunter stared down at you.

"Where's your pantry hold at?"

He stood still for just a moment, fingers twitching at his side - a nervous tic? - and then reaching for the kid, began to climb down the ladder. You stepped back and allowed him ample space to get down, and for him to set the kid down. The little green child looked around and waited to see what the two of you were up to. Mando trudged towards a panel near the armory just across from the ladder, and pushed a switch.

"Here."

A panel on the wall swished aside and a conservator was revealed, along with a small set of shelves containing tins, ration packs, and an extremely modest set of dish ware that itself looked like it had come from a military ration pack.

It was difficult to stop your eyebrows from raising to the top of your forehead. There was so little here. And what was here, was so incredibly basic that you couldn't imagine trying to live off of it for every single meal. A few packs of basic rations, a dwindling container of mealgrain. You cautiously pulled open the conservator, and it was what you expected. More basic ration packs, a single almost-empty package of some kind of sausage links, and a couple small jars of paste that could be added to water to make a basic soup. You closed the door, and leafed through the shelves' contents. There was an old heating plate in there and a small pot, and maybe enough utensils that you could count them all on one hand. Pulling out a packet of vacuum-sealed veg-meat, watching it glisten sickeningly in the light, you turned and gave the Mandalorian a pointed look as if you were waiting for an explanation.

He was trying so hard not to come off as sheepish. But the hands-on-the-hips stance and his visor turned away from you said otherwise. He'd never had anyone come on board and inspect his pantry hold before, and while he didn't think at the time it would bother him, it was completely different now that you were down on one knee, thinly-veiled disgust on your face at the food options, looking up at him with an intense expression that could surely bore a hole through his armor. Not even the kid staring at the shelves like he had an enormous buffet in front of him softened any of the situation.

"I don't know how you live like this." You lightly tossed the veg-meat back onto the shelf, standing up and righting your clothing. Mando flipped the switch to close the panel back up, the child drooping disappointedly now that everything was shut away. He crossed his arms defensively just as you rested a fist on your hip, looking down at the child and exhaling through your nose.

"Looks like I've got my work cut out for me, huh, kid."

He tilted his head questioningly at you.

"Your 'work'?" You could hear the edge of offense in his tone.

You turned that piercing gaze back to him for a moment.

"Besides being unable to find something to make myself a bed from, and needing some kind of change of clothes, your pantry is appalling and barely suitable for one adult. Let alone two plus a small child. You told me to help out, so I'm going to help out. When we stop for fuel, I'm going to go find a market." You tapped the pouch on your belt that contained your credits forcefully enough to make the loose pieces jingle, emphasizing that you had your own means of payment.

Mando sighed. He was the one that suggested you stay, so it was nobody's fault but his own that things were unfolding like this. He might as well resign himself to it.

You knew Mando would go for a backwater world of some sort, so you didn't get your hopes up for your options at any markets. Mando let you empty out a rucksack he had sitting in the hold and use it to carry what you might find. He watched as you briskly walked away with determination, as he stood at the ship dock preparing to get the Razor Crest hooked up and refueled. The Child wanted very badly to go with you, but he forbade it and made him stay in his pod, only an arm's length away and hopefully high enough off the ground that he wouldn't try to climb out and toddle off. The small green child pouted in his blankets, staring out in the direction he had last seen you.

Mando was mystified as to why the kid took such a liking to you. Sure, he seemed friendly enough towards anyone he was allowed to interact with (not that there were many, considering his status as a bounty target), but the way he was drawn to you was different. It was almost like he recognized you from somewhere, though you both knew that wasn't possible. In all honesty, he may have been more reluctant to offer you a place on board if the kid hadn't acted the way he did, and just kept his end of helping you after losing your entire livelihood to dropping you off at a nearby planet of your choosing.

It wasn't that he didn't like you, quite the opposite. In the few times he'd gone to you for information for hunting down certain quarry, you were nothing but helpful. You asked just the right questions, made sure he knew about the societies on the planets he was going to be investigating, and also gave him what you had about lesser-known places that would make for good hiding spots. You didn't ever seem afraid of him, like others could be when a fully-armored Mandalorian carrying who knows what kind of firepower came looking for something. You treated him like any other person, maybe one you'd come to consider a friend, based on how with each further visit you'd remember what kind of things he liked to know, or just useful things in general, and tailor your information packets to it. He didn't really need to know things like which fueling stations were more suited for a ship like his and had better overall service, or which markets had more selection on weaponry for restocking purchases, or which food places were better and which to avoid at all costs. But they were there when he'd plug the data stick into his navigation computer. He got the impression you didn't do that for just any client, without an extra charge at least.

You said it yourself, you didn't know much about taking care of kids. Mando didn't, either. But two people trying to figure it out was better than one stumbling around blindly. It helped to have someone the kid liked, too. And even if it didn't directly involve watching out for him, he knew you'd make yourself useful with upkeep of the Razor Crest and any other odd jobs that might need tending to.

The ship refueling took some time, but you still weren't back by the time it was finished. Mando went to the nearest food stand at the dock to buy something for the kid to eat in the meantime - a simple bowl of Mando and the kid went inside, keeping the hold ramp down and simply waiting inside, him using that time to maintain some of his more neglected firearms in the armory. He got lost in the muscle memory of taking apart each weapon, cleaning its individual pieces, and slotting everything back together to move on to the next one.

The child chirping and standing up to clutch the edge of his pram signaled your return. Mando looked up from where he was cleaning one of his blasters, probably the fourth or fifth since he started, and there you were, walking up the ramp with the borrowed rucksack stuffed full and a few bundles under your arm. You gave him a small nod of acknowledgement and made a beeline for what he could only assume was the spot you'd chosen to be "yours", dumping the bundles unceremoniously onto the floor - except one, which you held almost gingerly - and swinging the rucksack down on top of them with a huff. You plunked down beside the pile, pulling your legs up at an angle and resting your head against the hull, exhaling dramatically.

"Can we get out of here now?"

Mando had to smirk under his helmet at how comically tired you seemed. He couldn't blame you, he felt the same way after he had to deal with purchase-related errands. Standing, he put away the gun he'd been working on and shut away the armory, and issued the command for the ramp to close.

The child clambered out of his pram onto a nearby storage crate, slipping to the ground and toddling over to you and your pile of spoils. You lifted your head to watch what he was doing. Mando watched him, too, to be sure he didn't get into anything he shouldn't. Of everything he could easily try to pick through, the kid of course went straight for the bundle you still held in your lap, reaching out but not quite touching the fabric. It was oddly puffy at the top, and tied around the bottom with some sort of twine.

"Wait, wait. I'll show you, but no touching."

You undid the twine, and in doing so Mando got a glimpse of an earthenware material underneath the fabric. You shook the fabric loose, and swept it off by gripping the corner. There, balanced in the palm of your hand, was a tiny engraved pot. Inside the pot sat an equally-tiny, gnarled tree, capped with sprays of delicately bristling greenery.

You tilted the plant towards the child, wide eyes taking in the sight. A tiny claw reached up, but halted and slowly lowered at the last moment. The corner of your mouth lifted at the kid remembering to behave.

You glanced up at the Mandalorian, who you realized had been watching the interaction the whole time. You looked quickly down at the plant and picked slightly at the gravel in the pot, almost bashfully, like you were mildly ashamed of what you'd bought.

"It's not real, but I can pretend it is." Your voice was quiet. Mando remembered the sizable collection of plants that took up an entire corner of your living quarters he had broken into hardly a day or two ago. He felt a pang of something in his chest, slightly different than the sense of guilt he felt towards your situation. Sympathy, maybe?

The synthetic plant was carefully placed on top of a storage container, far from the edges so it wouldn't fall. Your quiet demeanor suddenly shifted, and a new focus appeared as you stood, grabbing the rucksack by its handle, and made your way over to open up the pantry hold and begin unpacking its contents.

"I mostly picked up things that can be indefinitely stored, so no worries about anything spoiling." You began to pull out your purchases and put them away, careful to make sure the kid didn't scoop anything up. He was too busy being enamored with watching your hand disappear into the rucksack and pull out new item after item, like you were a magician. You said the name of each thing as you put it away on either the shelves or in the conservator: Anoat oats, shroomchips, kukuia nuts, dehydrated nuna egg, jhen honey, Kodari rice, jarred garlic, Corellian buckwheat noodles... and then some vacuum-packed fresh items; redsprouts, cuts of dewback, some kind of flatbread you weren't able to immediately identify but thought looked good, and-

"- I don't know if this is the same as what you had before, but I got more of these, too." You said as you set down a package of sausages.

Truth be told, Mando wasn't at all a picky eater, and had been content with the rations he lived off of. But watching the array of ingredients fill the shelves had him feeling like he hadn't eaten right in a very long time. And he was oddly looking forward to what you might have planned.

You put away the last of the contents, mostly flavor additives, and a clear container of nuctrose crystals for the kid, given he behaved. Shutting the panel to the pantry hold, you stood back up and took the last contents from the rucksack - an odd bound stack of something, and a few styluses. They were placed next to the little tree on the crate. You shook out the rucksack so it was flat, and handed it back to the Mandalorian with a small thanks. He took it from you without a word and hung it on a hook nearby. You went back to your other bundles and began unpacking them, shaking out the bedroll and beginning to situate it.

"Once I'm done with all this, I'm going to make something to eat. Any requests?"

Mando could only shrug vaguely. You looked off to the side, eyes darting as you no doubt mentally ran through your various options now that nothing was off the table.

"Okay, then. I'll try not to make anything too awful."

The kid was at your side the moment you'd mentioned food, and was looking up at you with wide, excited eyes. You looked down at him awkwardly, movements slowing. He stared back, audibly swallowing.

"...he's not going to leave me alone, is he."

The Mandalorian shook his head, crossing his arms and leaning against the hull, amused expression hidden beneath his helmet. You suddenly felt extremely self-conscious about simply existing in that spot and Mando standing there like he was, watching your every move. He wasn't even doing anything malicious, he was just... looking. Maker, you couldn't do anything other than glance up at him for a half-second before you had to rip your gaze back to what you'd been doing before, hoping he didn't notice. This wasn’t even your standard inability to maintain a shared gaze, this was something else. It was the armor, you told yourself. You'd always thought the Mandalorian style of armor was beautifully crafted, but there was something so different about admiring it from an image and having a flesh-and-blood being inside a suit of it, standing like that just a few feet away, staring you down.

Mando, however, didn't read any of your behavior as being flustered - just uncomfortable that you were being stared at. He could appreciate that, more than you might think. As much as he might find it interesting to watch whatever else you were going to do, he knew it was more important to allow you some space. He righted himself and strode over to the ladder.

"Let the kid help you out."

He said it so matter-of-factly over his shoulder before he began to ascend that there was no doubt it wasn't a request.

You blinked, and looked down at the child. Mando needed to concentrate on piloting. So it fell to you to be on kid-watching duty. The kid blinked back up at you, ears pricked and head tilted. You moved to unwrap the next bundle.

”Alright, kiddo. Let me finish getting all this set up, then we’ll start on dinner.”

The excited squeal as the kid toddled over to the pantry hold panel to wait for you made you chuckle.

If it wasn't the aroma of cooking that got his attention, it was definitely the sound of you urgently scolding the kid with what almost sounded like terror in your voice. Mando quickly set the controls to autopilot and rushed over to the ladder, not even using the rungs to get down to the hold. The sudden sight and sound of an entire Mandalorian slamming to the floor from above startled you so badly you nearly knocked over your little makeshift kitchen area.

His gaze landed on the child, who was staring back at him with unblinking eyes as he smacked his lips like he had just been eating something. Just out of the kid's reach, was a piece of a food wrapper, covered in teeth marks and saliva, pinched between your fingers. You had a makeshift waste bin in the other hand, into which you flung the offending piece of trash. The look on your face was nothing short of disgust.

"Does he... often... try to eat garbage?"

Mando sighed deeply, swearing to himself under his breath. He should have warned you before he just left like he did to go man the controls.

"It's not the worst thing he's tried to eat." The child’s ears flicked, a hint of smugness on his face.

You chuckled nervously, setting the waste bin out of reach of the child. You wiped your hands on a nearby rag, as Mando approached to pick the child up and move him a little bit away.

The set-up you had was fairly impressive, considering what was available. You'd taken the old heating plate out and set it on top of a storage container, and repurposed a larger rations tin intended to be heated up anyways into an extra pan, so you had more to work with besides the old pot. You'd pulled out all the utensils he had and had them laid out on top of a loose scrap of fabric, and a cluster of ingredients on another. The cutting board looked new, you must've bought that earlier. The pot had something boiling in it, and the pan, while it looked empty, had something browning in the bottom that smelled delicious.  

"Do you have any knives I can use?" You started to inspect one of the packages of meat you'd purchased earlier. "I need to dice some things."

The question wasn't did he have knives, the question was which ones was he willing to part with for kitchen use?

He paused, wandering over to the armory and peering pensively inside. You leaned over to try and watch what he was doing. The kid in turn watched you, no doubt hoping you might drop what you had so he could scarf it down.

Mando leaned into the armory to pick something out from its depths, and when he returned he displayed several small blades. They weren't all that tiny, but his broad hands made them look even smaller than they should be. You ignored that as best as you could. Your eyes flashed amongst the different blades, and you carefully pointed at two - a butterfly knife, and a small hunting knife. You didn’t dare just reach out and grab them yourself. With great dexterity Mando maneuvered them into one hand and the rest into the other, offering them to you with the blades flat in his hand and the handles presented. You carefully took them and set them beside your other utensils. Wordlessly he went to put the rest of the knives away.

You expected him to return to the cockpit, but he didn't. Instead, he moved to sit in the opening of the hole in the wall that was his bunk. You raised your eyebrows at him questioningly.

"Making sure you don't completely ruin my knives. Or let the kid eat more trash."

You huffed at that. Well, back to work.

The kid had wandered closer again and was intently watching as you prepared the food, cubing the meat, tossing it into the makeshift pan with a satisfying sizzle.

Mando never really cooked much for himself besides prepping a basic bowl of mealgrain with whatever ration packs he had on hand. Sometimes he'd build a fire whenever he was camped out on a planet's surface and roast skewers of food over the fire, he knew how to hunt and gather and field-dress, but nothing extravagant. Watching you work was something else. It was mesmerizing, the way you maneuvered between the "pan" and the pot you'd removed from the heat, adding whatever seasoning or extra ingredients with no hesitation, completely focused on what you were doing.

At some point, you picked a piece of the cooked meat out of the "pan" with a fork, blowing on it a few times before picking a corner off to taste-test it. You looked deep in thought as you mulled over what else it might need. With a shrug it seemed you decided it was alright as it was. You lowered the fork towards the child.

"Here, try."

The speed at which he snatched the morsel off the fork and downed it was incredible, you didn't even think he had time to taste it. The shine in his eyes and his ears perking up told you, however, that he absolutely wanted more. You gave him a pointed look.

"No, no more handouts. It's almost done, anyways."

The kid turned his head to look back at Mando, his face begging him to tell you that he needed more. He shook his head slowly, biting back a chuckle at how the kid pouted.

"Okay, I think it's done."

Somehow, in the time he had taken his eyes off of you to simply tell the kid "no", you had combined the contents of the pot and "pan" and were separating it out into portions - two of the larger bowls, and one of the smaller bowls that may have been a mug for the child. He could see better what it was - looked to be some sort of hearty stir-fry, the rice and meat you'd bought earlier being the most obvious part of the dish. Mando had already forgotten what you'd purchased in the way of vegetables and other seasonings, but the finished product was colorful and looked very appetizing, especially with the way the steam trailed slowly into the air from its surface.

The kid was visibly excited, bouncing on his little feet, and though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, Mando was looking forward to trying it too. What he wasn't looking forward to, though, was having to explain to you that he couldn't take his helmet off to eat, that he'd have to take his helping and go somewhere else where you couldn't see him. You'd never seen him with his helmet off, even in his own ship, so it only made sense that you'd ask about it eventually. He didn't know how much of the Mandalorian Creed you were familiar with. He expected more than most, considering your former occupation and being fairly savvy to various cultural practices, but he couldn't be sure.

"So, uh.. this might be weird..."

He braced himself internally, anticipating something being said about his helmet.

"Would you mind if I ate, uh... over there?" You jabbed a thumb towards the semi-walled off area you'd set up since he was last down there.

...he wasn't expecting that.

His confused stare probably only came off as a cold one through his helmet.

"It sounds stupid, but I have a hard time eating if I feel like I'm being watched. So that's where I'll be."

He nodded slowly. Well, that wasn't what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't a bad thing. It made things a little easier, at least, with him not having to give the Talk just yet.

You took your helping in one hand, used your free hand to maneuver the smaller bowl into the child's grabbing hands, and sheepishly left to your secluded area, ducking down to sit in your newly-arranged space.

The bedroll was laid out, a pile of folded clothes sitting near the foot of it. You'd located some smaller crates, one acting as a makeshift stool, another as a low table, where you sat your bowl down for a moment to get situated. In addition to the larger crates and the dip in the hull acting as a wall, you'd also tacked up a sheet on each "side" of the hull to act as a curtain - not wide enough to completely block off the hall, but enough that there was at least more of a definitive barrier that made you feel enclosed from the rest of it. The tiny synthetic tree sat perched on the low crate-table beside some of the other odds and ends you'd procured at the market. It wasn't much, but you felt less like a temporary stowaway like this.

Once you settled down, you picked your bowl back up and were about to take a bite when a familiar green head poked around the curtain. Once he spotted you, he turned back as if he was looking to Mando for permission, and then he trundled over, his own bowl carefully clutched between his hands.

Try as you might to form words to tell the kid to please go sit with Mando, or anywhere else, every sentence dried up in your throat before you could finish it. It didn't seem like he was listening, anyways, the way he didn't even so much as glance at you while you tried to speak. He was too busy getting himself settled down on the floor, and then lifting the bowl to his face to continue eating, sticky eating sounds filling the air as he shoveled spoonfuls into his mouth. That alone was enough to make you stop trying to tell him to go. It was almost shocking how noisy the kid could be with his food. You watched with something between fascination and the slightest bit of revulsion, slowly taking bites of your own food. He finished faster than you'd anticipated, greedily trying to lick the inside of the bowl to get the last morsels stuck to the sides, his eating utensil forgotten. Considering what you saw Mando's food supply was before you came on board, you didn't blame the kid for downing it like he did.

You, however, couldn't quite finish your meal. You had done your best with what you could, but something about the finished product left something to be desired in your opinion. You always had been critical of your own cooking, and knew what you were going for versus the actual outcome. With a brief glance towards the opening of your space, almost as if you expected Mando to appear, you took the kid's bowl and scraped what remained of your meal into it. He was almost vibrating with excitement when you handed it back to him, and you grimaced slightly as he started to scarf it down. Did his species get the equivalent of heartburn?

“That good, huh?”

He peered at you over the edge of his dish, tiny mouth working. He’d made fast work of it, putting the now-clean bowl on the ground. His bright eyes now lingered on your own bowl, like somehow he might find more food in it even though he just watched you empty its contents moments ago. Your morbid curiosity got the better of you and you held it out for him to take. The kid quickly took it from you, and with no hesitation, began to lick the inside to get the most out of it. You could feel a grimace trying to creep its way onto your face. The kid was cute, no doubt about that, but this was still a little gross to be watching.

A light rap on the side of the hull caught the attention of both of you, and there stood the Mandalorian in the gap between the hull wall and the curtain, empty dish held almost forgotten by his side. The kid greeted his caregiver with a small, yet surprisingly big for his size, burp. You swear you heard a quiet snort from Mando’s direction.

“You’d think he hasn’t eaten in days.” You nodded at the child, who was inspecting the bowl for anything else he may have missed. Mando shrugged lightly.

“He’s always excited for food.” He semi-consciously began turning his own bowl in his hands, still watching the little green one’s antics.

“Well, at least he liked it. It didn’t turn out quite like I wanted it to. Hopefully it was still okay.” While Mando had clearly finished his helping, with what he had apparently been living off of before, it was a fair assumption on your part that he didn’t care much for how things tasted - as long as they were edible. You really did try to go out of your way to make things palatable and not just edible, generally, so when you felt like you slipped up, you also felt the need to apologize.

“I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it.”

Truth be told, whatever you had done, it was one of the better meals Mando had had in a good while. Unfortunately for Mando, words were not at all his strong suit.

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” You said with a brief smile. With a groan you got to your feet, stooping to gather the dish-ware and utensils you and the child had used. “These can be washed in the same place I got water from behind the refresher, right--?”

“I’ll do it.” You froze in your tracks when Mando stopped you and took the things from your hands. “I’ll get the other things you used, too.” He motioned vaguely back towards where your kitchen set-up had been.

“You sure? I made the mess, I’d be okay with cleaning it up.”

The prolonged stare from the unreadable visor told you that this was not up for debate.

“...okay, if you insist.” You let yourself sink back to where you’d been sitting. The Mandalorian disappeared from your field of view beyond the curtain, and the sound of him gathering up the rest of the kitchenware and making his way to the washing area made its way to your ears. There was a quick-cleaning rack back there for exactly this kind of thing, and you could hear him loading it.

Never in your life had you expected to picture someone as stoic as this bounty hunter, doing something as domestic as washing dishes. You bit the inside of your lip to suppress snickering to yourself about it. The kid looked questioningly at you, head tilted. That alone was enough for you to crack a smile and snort.

That snort morphed into a yawn, and you realized just how tired you were. It had been a long day, dealing with people at the market, setting up your new “room”, and cooking a meal from scratch. Not to mention, the turmoil of losing your home was still a raw wound. You noticed the heavy feeling beneath your eyes that told you it was well past time for a good rest.

“Well, kid, I think I’m going to lie down for a bit.” You nonchalantly began taking your boots off, other items that would undoubtedly be uncomfortable following - your belt, your wrist pieces, some of your outerwear that would get too warm too quickly once you dozed off. The child curiously watched as you placed these things in a small pile by the crate acting as a table.

With a sigh that almost sounded like you were deflating, you laid down on the bedroll and turned onto your side. It wasn’t anything like your old bed. You hadn’t expected it to be, but the difference between your old broken-in bed and this imitation of a cot laid out on a hard, metal floor, really drove home that things were different now, with no going back. You closed your eyes, exhaling softly through your nose, the melancholy settling in now that you were more or less alone with your thoughts.

You felt a light touch on your temple, and opened your eyes to have your field of vision filled with a big pair of dark eyes staring back. The child had wandered closer and had touched his tiny clawed hand to your face, and was looking at you with concern, as if he could sense those emotions that were starting to roll around your head. You gave him a thin-lipped smile, reaching out to pat him on the head.

“I’m okay, kid, just tired.”

He made a small noise that sounded almost sad, and you didn’t miss the slight droop in his ears as he gave you a pat in return. Your smile turned a little more genuine at that.

You closed your eyes again, and quicker than you’d ever managed to before, you drifted off.

Mando took his time putting things away. When it was just himself, and the kid, there was a lot less clean-up involved. With the quality of what you’d made, though, extra clean-up was a reasonable trade-off.

Clattering noises from your corner caught his attention. It didn’t sound like organized rummaging, more like the noise made when a womp rat was going through things looking for food. He sighed. It must be the kid up to something. Why you weren’t stopping him, he didn’t know.

He put extra weight into his footsteps to make sure the kid could hear him coming, and hoped that would be enough to get him to stop. As he pushed the curtain out of the way, he was met with the sight of the child quickly turning to make eye contact - the pouches of your belt clutched in his hands with the rest of the strap tossed over his arm, and what must have once been a more organized pile of your other accessories messily pushed around. And then there was you, laid out on your bedroll, eyes closed as you slept.

Even in sleep you managed to look exhausted, but at peace. Your form was curled in loosely on itself, somewhere between defensive and haphazard, like you had fallen in that position. The crease between your eyebrows had smoothed out and was nearly invisible. You breathed deeply through your nose, almost snoring. You had a hand wedged between your face and pillow, squishing your cheek up and distorting your features.

Mando had seen plenty of people asleep. It was usually a restless sleep, followed by waking in a state of terror when they realized there was a blaster pointed at them and he was there to take them in for a bounty.

Seeing you in a genuine state of relaxation, completely vulnerable, was jarring. He wasn’t used to it. He didn’t even let himself get to that point when he rested.

With everything you’d dealt with lately, though, you deserved to have a good, deep sleep. You were safe here on the Razor Crest with him.

The Mandalorian shook himself mentally from watching your sleeping form. It was strange to be staring like he was. He bent down on one knee to untangle the child from your belt and lift him carefully. The little one cooed, looking up at the armored man questioningly.

“Come on, kid. Let’s give them some space.” He stood back up, shifting the child into one arm and leaving as quietly as he could. The little one peeked over Mando’s shoulder at you until you were out of his line of sight, and then swiveled around to watch where he and the bounty hunter were headed.

Very carefully, the child was maneuvered into his sling so Mando could climb up the ladder to the cockpit with both hands. Once on his feet again, the child was deposited into his pram, and Mando took his place in the pilot’s seat.

Now that there was fuel in the tank and supplies on board for everyone, it was time to get back to finding somewhere to hide out.

[snarktheater]

Ready Player Two — Opening Cutscene & Chapter 0

Hello again.

It’s been a while. I haven’t been active on this blog since, fittingly enough, Ready Player One. I was going to do this sooner—even had an alarm set up and everything—but then, it turns out, I’m feeling so much negativity about the world in general that a book just pales in comparison.

Seriously, I had to scrap this post’s entire intro because it’s not even 2020 anymore as I write this. And you know, maybe that’s for the best. I’m not really in the mood for doom and gloom and bitching anymore. I uninstalled Twitter from my phone a while back, I’ve been doing good at my daily writing sprints, my biggest fanfic project concluded on a positive note from people I didn’t even realize had been following it for years.

So I don’t know what this is going to be like. My commentary, I mean; I’ve heard echoes of what the book is like, so I’m not expecting a surprise there.

The book opens right after the end of Ready Player One, in a “Cutscene” where Wade recounts to us what happened after he won Halliday’s contest. It also assumes you remember exactly who the main characters of the book are, which is a bold move for a sequel that came out almost a decade after the original.

Technically, I could just look up the details I’m fuzzy about. But also, I think it’s more authentic if I don’t. I trust my memory enough that if I’m wrong, it’ll be in subtle enough ways that it’ll almost be a private jokes between all of us. An “if you know, you know” sort of error system. And I don’t think there’s anything more true to the spirit of this book than that.

Shoto had flown back home to Japan to take over operations at GSS’s Hokkaido division.

So Wade starts his tenure with nepotism. Wasn’t Shoto really young? Why is he qualified to run anything?

Aech was enjoying an extended vacation in Senegal, a country she’d dreamed of visiting her whole life, because her ancestors had come from there.

You know what, I’m not touching “send the token black character back to Africa.” This isn’t my lane.

And Samantha had flown back to Vancouver to pack up her belongings and say goodbye to her grandmother, Evelyn.

Why is she saying goodbye? Why, she’s moving to Columbus to be with Wade, of course! It’s not like there was anything else in her life. Was there? And why isn’t she referred to as Art3mis? I’m pretty sure Wade found out all of their offline names in the last book, and the inconsistency mildly bothers me.

These three sentences are back to back, by the way. Someone—I forget who—once described Ready Player One as a book that’s fun to write a wiki about, because it’s got fun concepts to summarize about until you realize that all the emotional connective tissue you need to turn a list of things into a story is missing, and that’s roughly how this first page feels.

Hell, the first line of the book is Wade telling us he remained offline for nine whole days after winning the contest, but by the end of the second paragraph we’re already to him logging back into the OASIS to "distract himself from [his and Samantha’s] reunion.

I’ll give Ernest Cline one thing: it feels like he wrote this opening nine days after the first book and did about as much maturing as a teenage boy would do between the two books.

Way more time is spent describing Wade’s OASIS rig, or the in-game planet where the climax of the last book happened, than anything else in this introduction. He is immediately greeted by a crowd of adoring fans who have been waiting over a week for him to come back in the game, because they’re all grateful that our protagonist and his friends restored their avatars after they were annihilated by the Sixers.

You’d think the adoring fans would serve some kind of purpose, or that something would happen, but no. Wade immediately goes “ew, people” and teleports away, since he essentially has ultimate powers within the game. With a caveat: the powers are actually coming from the Robes of Anorak he’s wearing, and I’m mentioning that in the hopes that it will pay off sometime in the book’s future, assuming Cline at least learned to do that. But still, let’s not skip too fast the fact that we introduced that crowd of adoring fans for no other purpose than to tell us they’re out there, because it fits right in with the last book’s attempts at saying as little as humanly possible in as many words as possible.

Anyway, Wade went back into Anorak’s study, where he arbitrarily checks out the Easter Egg he got at the end of the last book, and finds an inscription on it. I was dreading another riddle, but no, it’s just straight-up instructions to a vault in the GSS archives, so Wade logs off and goes to check it out.

Of course Halliday had put [the archives] [on the 13th floor]. In one of his favorite TV shows, Max Headroom, Network 23’s hidden research-and-development lab was located on the thirteenth floor. And The Thirteenth Floor was also the title of an old sci-fi film about virtual reality, released in 1999, right on the heels of both The Matrix and eXistenZ.

I’m equally shocked that it took two whole pages (on my ereader) to get to the first slew of references, and that one of these references is from 1999. I didn’t know we were allowed to think of anything that isn’t the 80s. Speaking of which, I’ll spare you the whole paragraph, but the book does feel the need to explain why it’s vault 42.

Inside the vault, there’s another egg containing a super-fancy and advanced OASIS headset. The egg also has a video monitor that plays a video message from James Halliday shortly before his death.

But despite his condition, he hadn’t used his OASIS avatar to record this message like he had with Anorak’s Invitation. For some reason, he’d chosen to appear in the flesh this time, under the brutal, unforgiving light of reality.

That oh-so-important message? An infodump about the headset’s working. He called it an OASIS Neural Interface, ONI for short. It basically lets you experience the OASIS through all your senses with sensory input just like the real thing, you know, that thing Wade had to get a fancy suit and massive rig to do in the first book. And yes, Wade does spend a paragraph or two comparing it to other works of science fiction. Of course he does.

More importantly, it also records all the sensory input into a separate file, which can then be replayed over to re-experience said sensations, or live someone else’s experiences. Halliday tries to frame it as a tool to generate communication and empathy, seemingly all without acknowledging the potential creepiness of that. But hey. Who knows. Maybe that’s because this is the setup stage, and it’ll pay off eventually.

I also wondered about the name Halliday had chosen for his invention. I’d seen enough anime to know that oni was also a Japanese word for a giant horned demon from the pits of hell.

Add “reducing Japan to anime” to the list of things the book has failed to improve upon. By the way, the narration insisted on spelling out ONI letter by letter earlier, so it’s weird to make that link now. It’s also just kind of inelegant to just tell us “this is the symbolism behind the name”, but that’s just the sort of thing I’ve come to expect from this book.

Anyway, the reason Halliday kept this for his successor to find is he wants Wade to test out the technology and decide if humanity is ready for it. Why Halliday thinks the most glorified pop culture trivia / video game competition qualifies you for such a decision should be a problem, but sadly, a lot of billionaires have said and done a lot of dumb and eerily similar things in the past few years since I read Ready Player One, so actually, I can’t fault the book for that one. Tragically, our fates really are in the hands of people who should rightfully be cartoon villains.

To his credit, Wade does question Halliday’s motives in keeping this under wraps at all rather than releasing it himself. So hey, maybe it really is setting something up.

Wade goes back to his office with the ONI, and we’re treated with this lovely piece of narration:

I was grateful that Samantha wasn’t there. I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to talk me out of testing the ONI. Because I was worried she might try to, and if she did, she would’ve succeeded. (I’d recently discovered that when you’re madly in love with someone they can persuade you to do pretty much anything.)

There’s a lot to unpack about the implications this has for their relationship, but it’s way too early in the book for me to editorialize when one character hasn’t even been on the page yet. So I’ll just leave it here for the record. Hopefully you see the problem without me needing to point it out anyway. If not, feel free to hit my inbox.

So Wade, confident in the fact that Halliday would have warned him if there were any risks to using the ONI, decides to try it out. Even though he immediately follows up that statement with this:

According to the ONI documentation, forcibly removing the headset while it was in operation could severely damage the wearer’s brain and/or leave them in a permanent coma. So the titanium-reinforced safety bands made certain this couldn’t happen. I found this little detail comforting instead of unsettling. Riding in an automobile was risky, too, if you didn’t wear your seatbelt…

Wade. My dude. What the fuck is this simile. And why don’t you see that maybe a machine where you’re forcibly trapping yourself inside a virtual reality might be dangerous? Hell, when I said this was setting something up, I was expecting something vaguely interesting about the potential breach of privacy, or how you don’t need to literally walk in someone’s shoes to feel empathy for them, or anything substantial, but now I’m worried it’ll just end up as “man, sometimes science fiction machines will scramble your brain, isn’t that weird”?

Like, I don’t know, to me “it will put you in a coma” sounds like a good reason for Halliday not to release the ONI. Maybe we can still make it into a commentary on how corporations will sell stuff they know is directly harmful if it can make them a profit. Who knows.

The book waffles on about more risks, and the mechanics of how the ONI activates, and the warning disclaimer when it does turn on. Specifically, there’s a time limit of twelve consecutive hours, after which you’ll be automatically logged out, because yes, using the thing for too long can also cause brain damage.

Gregarious Simulation Systems will not be held responsible for any injuries caused by improper use of the OASIS Neural Interface.

See, now there’s the sort of thing that could be a source for commentary, but no, instead it’s thrown in there like it’s nothing and Wade glosses over the entire warning, and instead keep wondering why Halliday didn’t just release the ONI if even the safety disclaimers were in place.

By the way: this whole system has apparently gone through several independent human trials already, so I’m finding it hard to imagine that it’s actually a secret Halliday took to the grave as Wade says. Unless he also had everyone involved in those trials killed afterwards. Or maybe they all ended up with brain damage which rendered them incapable of talking about it.

And before you think I’m being unfair and maybe we’re supposed to understand that ourselves even if the protagonist doesn’t, I’ll remind you that the book didn’t trust its reader to know what the number 42 is a reference to, or what an oni is, even though I don’t think anyone in the target audience wouldn’t know about these two things.

There’s also the fact that, since this book came out, a video game did release with a scene intentionally designed to cause seizures, and it had countless fans flocking to defend it over that fact. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not assuming this book’s stance on whether your video game console causes brain damage and possibly coma is actually a bad thing, or just an acceptable risk.

Wade certainly seems to think so, since he agrees to the terms of service.

As the timestamp faded away, it was replaced by a short message, just three words long—the last thing I would see before I left the real world and entered the virtual one. But they weren’t the three words I was used to seeing. I—like every other ONI user to come—was greeted by a new message Halliday had created, to welcome those visitors who had adopted his new technology: READY PLAYER TWO

Well now that’s just silly.

And that’s our opening cutscene. And while this post is already long enough, I feel like I have to go on to chapter 0, because it feels like barely anything has happened so far. We didn’t even introduce any new character motivation or conflict, or a mystery to set the plot into motion, unless I’m supposed to think “why didn’t Halliday release this?” counts.

So Wade is back into the OASIS, and tells us about how much more real it all feels thanks to the ONI. I especially have to question how he can smell or taste anything—both of which he tells us he can. Like, who coded that? Did Halliday implement every single smell and taste himself, without anyone noticing? I hope you don’t need me to tell you that’s not typically how features are added to a large-scale video game.

If it feels like I’m nitpicking at the logic of the book, even though I always say I’m not very interested in that and would rather talk themes, it’s because I am, because there isn’t much else to discuss so far. Wade is happy about tasting virtual fruit. That’s the scene.

He tests out if he can feel pain, but no, the ONI reduces pain (a gunshot is translated as “a hard pinch”). On one hand, good, it would be a nightmare otherwise. On the other hand, I sort of hope there’s a setting for that in there, because otherwise, you just lost an entire clientele of kinksters.

This was it—the final, inevitable step in the evolution of videogames and virtual reality. The simulation had now become indistinguishable from real life.

Ah, now we have some juicy themes. Because if you think this is the inevitable final step in the evolution of video games, I invite you to look at literally any other art form, and what happened to them once hyperrealism became easy. Hint: they didn’t stop evolving, because it turns out realism isn’t the only goal one can achieve with art.

The realism discussion is not a new one in video games, mind you. In case you’re out of the loop: most of the big-budget blockbuster games (“AAA” as they’re known) are aiming for hyperrealism nowadays, and it results in development teams being forced to work in horrible conditions (known with the equally horrible euphemism of “crunch”). And, because it turns out that 1) humans working themselves to the bones isn’t healthy and 2) racing for realism with little to no vision besides it makes for poor creativity, a lot of these games come out as disappointments. Oh, there are hordes of Gamers™ who will defend them to the bitter end, but inevitably, in the months following release, the defense cools off while the criticism keeps on going, because the defense was a knee-jerk reaction born of a mix of people hyping themselves up for a game they hadn’t seen that much of yet, then attaching a part of their identity to liking that thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this throwaway line feels like it comes from someone who is so out of touch as to accidentally support a world view that has in fact resulted in the biggest part of the industry stagnating artistically while growing more toxic for the people working in it. All the while, more and more independent games come out every year, proving that that realism is nowhere near the most important thing to making a game good, and that you can achieve much better results with a small team.

What I’m trying to say is: watch Jim Sterling’s channel, they’ve been bleeding out subscribers since they came out as nonbinary and make much better commentary on this topic than I could, and play Hades.

Back to the book, which sadly hasn’t become any more interesting since I decided to go on a tangent. Wade tests the ONI functions some more, all the while musing on how he knows Samantha would disapprove but that he doesn’t care, because what loving relationship doesn’t consist of that?

Among the functions, he tries the ONI files, the aforementioned recordings of someone else’s experiences. Specifically, a woman, which Wade tells us by telling us he suddenly has breasts, I suppose because Ernest Cline saw that subreddit about men writing women and went “I want a piece of that”. Oh, and also, those sample files were recorded from real people, in the real world. And yes, this goes exactly where you think it does.

SEX-M-F.oni, SEX-F-F.oni, and SEX-Nonbinary.oni

Look, I actually started writing a complaint about the boobs thing, and I deleted it, but now Cline is doing it on purpose. So, here goes: I saw a quote from this book on Twitter that looked like Cline attempting to make up for Wade’s casual transphobia in the first book. It wasn’t good, but it at least sounded like he was trying. So to immediately get this is…a lot? Let’s go for a lot.

I can almost excuse the use of “M” and “F”. You gotta name your files and you could excuse a non-exhaustive list. But…nonbinary? On one hand, I want to know what Cline means. On the other hand, I don’t think he can come up with an answer I’ll find satisfactory.

We are thankfully spared from finding out because Wade has just lost his virginity to Samantha a few days ago and he’s 1) not ready for this and 2) pretty sure this counts as cheating. You could make a case that this is more like porn, but I can see that this is more of a personal distinction anyway, and I can respect that one. Plus, you know. I don’t want to find out.

Wade logs off, and he can’t tell the difference between the OASIS with the ONI, and decides this will change the world. And then it’s back to the “how did he do it and keep it a secret”, even though Wade now finds out in the documentation that this had been in development for twenty-five years, basically since the OASIS launched. So it’s not really that it’s a secret, so much as there are a lot of people under very strict NDAs out there. Or, again, they’re all dead and/or otherwise incapacitated.

The ONI is the product of the Accessibility Research Lab, and Wade tells us about other stuff that the lab has produced using similar technology, mostly for medical purposes.

GSS patented each of the Accessibility Research Lab’s inventions, but Halliday never made any effort to profit from them. Instead, he set up a program to give these neuroprosthetic implants away, to any OASIS users who could benefit from them. GSS even subsidized the cost of their implant surgery.

Look, it’s nice that you want Halliday to be the good guy through and through, but it’s kind of hard to take any social commentary seriously when you think this is how a billionaire is made. Hell, even when he shut down the lab and fired its entire staff, he gave them a big enough severance package to set them for life. You know. Capitalism!

Hey, remember when Samantha said she was going to end world hunger if she won the contest, a thing billionaires right now could be doing, but aren’t, and she is now the co-owner of GSS? Yeah, I kind of hope the book remembers that too.

Speaking of the co-owners, the book just completely skips over the debate that our four main characters have over whether or not to release the ONI to the world. All we know is that they voted, and the vote goes in favor of releasing it. I mean, why have characters who could have opinions and feelings that could create a discussion? That might make us care about them! And who wants to care about characters in a story?

We put them on sale at the lowest possible price, to make sure as many people as possible could experience the OASIS Neural Interface for themselves.

What exactly is “the lowest possible price” here? Your company literally owns money. Like, OASIS money is real money. There is literally nothing stopping you from giving them away, especially because what you’re giving away is access to the platform you’re already running for a profit.

It’s almost like, even trying to make “good billionaires” out of its protagonists, the book can’t stop and actually make them significantly good.

Oh, I should mention. If you thought my Ready Player One review was angry at capitalism, wait until you see what the past couple years have done to me.

Anyway, once they his 7,777,777 simultaneous ONI users, a new riddle shows up on Halliday’s website. Because yep: our plot is apparently not about the implications of releasing the ONI, or any of the potential ideological discussions associated with that, it’s another riddle. Oh boy, do I wish I’d known that.

Seek the Seven Shards of the Siren’s Soul On the seven worlds where the Siren once played a role For each fragment my heir must pay a toll To once again make the Siren whole

I cannot wait to have the book give me just not enough information to solve the riddle until it’s solved by the book itself. That was so much fun the other…what was it, five times? Six times? Something like that. Wade already tells us the Siren might be Kira Morrow, because her alias was named after one of the sirens of Greek myth, so I can’t wait for that plot point to stick around. It was so fun to hear all about this man pining for another man’s wife the first time!

So this is the “Shard Riddle”. People are apparently convinced it was made by Wade and his crew as a publicity stunt, but of course, they know that that isn’t the case, and they also don’t know what that riddle is supposed to lead to. So, that’s great. We have a puzzle, and we also don’t know what the stakes are. All we know is that Wade wants to solve the puzzle essentially because it’s a challenge.

We skip over a year, and Wade tells us about how IOI collapses and gets absorbed by GSS because of the ONI’s launch. Remember IOI? They were the bad guys, so I guess we have to cheer?

GSS absorbed IOI and all of its assets, transforming us into an unstoppable megacorporation with a global monopoly on the world’s most popular entertainment, education, and communications platform.To celebrate, we released all of IOI’s indentured servants and forgave their outstanding debts.

On one hand: good for the slave. On the other hand: not gonna cheer for a monopoly, you guys.

Another year’s skip, and now 99% of the OASIS users are using the ONI, and yes, that includes trading their experiences with one another too. And I guess we’re still hand-waving any possible problems associated with that technology, because the technology is made so that all recordings must be shared and played through the OASIS.

This allowed us to weed out unsavory or illegal recordings before they could be shared with other users.

How? Do you know any of the problems associated with content moderations on the current platforms? I don’t know if I want to point to Youtube’s extremely faulty algorithm, Twitter’s complete apathy towards its Nazis, or Facebook doing moderation by making underpaid staff watch all potentially problematic content, which resulted in serious psychological damage to said staff.

You can’t just say that as if it solved everything. The chapter later says this is handled by an AI called “CenSoft”, and as an AI engineer myself, let me tell you: this is not going to work. Again: Youtube is the way it is for a reason.

It also let us maintain our monopoly on what was rapidly becoming the most popular form of entertainment in the history of the world.

And again, monopolies are totally a good thing as long as it’s in the right hands!

When I’m implying that the book does not care for any of these potential problems, I mean it. These enormous ethical issues are sidestepped in cold narratin, and we just keep going on introducing new slang that I hate, but have to quote so help you keep up.

“Sims” were recordings made inside the OASIS, and “Recs” were ONI recordings made in reality. Except that most kids no longer referred to it as “reality.” They called it “the Earl.” (A term derived from the initialism IRL.) And “Ito” was slang for “in the OASIS.” So Recs were recorded in the Earl, and Sims were created Ito.

There. You have been infodumped.

In the midst of all this (still extremely dry) exposition about how this changed media, we also get this tidbit:

You could take any drug, eat any kind of food, and have any kind of sex, without worrying about addiction, calories, or consequences.

Now, I was going to rant about this, but then, a page later, this happens and spares me the trouble:

I’d struggled with OASIS addiction before the ONI was released. Now logging on to the simulation was like mainlining some sort of chemically engineered superheroin.

So, you are aware that addiction isn’t just possible, but extremely facilitated by this. But sure, no worries! It’s perfectly safe! Because our protagonists are good.

Also, remember how the last book ended on a weak attempt at having a moral that maybe the real world is good, actually? Yeah, Wade tells us the ONI helps poor people live enjoyable lives in the OASIS. So. Fuck that message, I guess. It only applies if you’re the literal wealthiest man on Earth.

And me? All my dreams had come true. I’d gotten stupidly rich and absurdly famous. I’d fallen in love with my dream girl and she had fallen in love with me. Surely I was happy, right? Not so much, as this account will show.

Aside from the aforementioned returning OASIS affiction, there’s the Shard riddle that Wade is now obsessed with, to the point of offering a billion-dollar reward to anyone with information about the riddle’s answer.

I announced this reward with a stylized short film that I modeled after Anorak’s Invitation. I hoped it would seem like a lighthearted play on Halliday’s contest instead of a desperate cry for help. It seemed to work.

On one hand: good, Wade finally has a character flaw that the book actually acknowledges as a character flaw. I can work with that. On the other hand: this is all told to me in such a dispassionate that I am dreading how the book will handle this character flaw. Which is to say, I’m not expecting it to be very good.

(For a brief time, some of the younger, more idealistic shard hunters referred to themselves as “shunters” to differentiate themselves from their elder counterparts. But when everyone began to call them “sharters” instead, they changed their minds and started to call themselves gunters too. The moniker still fit. The Seven Shards were Easter eggs hidden by Halliday, and we were all hunting for them.)

Especially when this is something the narration feels is more important to tell me about.

Anyway, skip another year, and a gunter finally leads Wade to the First Shard. Solved that riddle, I guess. And wait, wasn’t part of why IOI was ~evil~ in the first book that they were paying people to find the Easter Egg for them? How is this any different, Wade?

And when I picked it up, I set in motion a series of events that would drastically alter the fate of the human race. As one of the only eyewitnesses to these historic events, I feel obligated to give my own written account of what occurred. So that future generations—if there are any—will have all the facts at their disposal when they decide how to judge my actions.

And that is the end of our chapter 0. And can I just say: what a mess already. I don’t think my snark can properly convey how utterly devoid of emotion this book’s writing is, and that alone is honestly more of a turn-off than anything else in the book so far. Even, knowing that I railed about it in the first book, I still feel newly unprepared for it. And it’s not like this double-prologue is making me hopeful that the book will show an ounce more critical thinking—or decent fucking humanity towards marginalized groups—as its predecessor.

So, that’s a lot to look forward to! For the sake of my sanity and schedule, don’t expect me to do such big posts every time. I’ll probably do one chapter a week from now on, if that. We’re in for a long ride, but I hope it’s worth it, at least.

[thecreepiestcarrie]

I don't think I'm gonna refer to it as Scum not donating/failing to donate the money any longer.

That's a bit too polite of a way to say it and what I realised the other night (as sloppily expressed in my pigback on to this post) is the gravity of what she actually did, so let's get all the spades out and call them what they are, fucken spades. Let's call her exactly what she is, a gold-digging, cold-hearted, narcissistic sociopath. Let's stop softening the blow of what she did.

Amber Heard stole money from sick kids.

Point blank, dot com, period.

She also stole money from battered women, as if it wasn’t bad enough that her selfish actions have robbed them of credibility. 

None of this was an accident, this was something wilfully done and it was a lie she happily repeated for four whole years. A lie that she used to cultivate a positive reputation and it worked.

(source) Found this supremely helpful, streamlined timeline this morning on Twitter.

But to satisfy my own curiosity and to put it all into something that would compute in my brain - I went through and gathered some more information to put it into chronological order. I did my best to track down the beginning of this storyline and to track how it was spoken of. I really wanted to get to the bottom of when she changed her story from the donations are gonna happen to, nah fam it’s already donated.

And oh my God you guys, I found some tea that had me literally screaming and laughing in delight. Soooooo good.

So keep reading for a breakdown of this falsehood - where it began, how it developed and where it stands today.

August 2016-

These screenshots are from one of the earliest dated articles I could find talking about Scum’s intent to donate the full $7 million to charity. She even names the charities and she explicitly says how important that donation would be to the Children’s Hospital of LA. She knew what good that money could do, she was fully aware of those children and their stressed families, and yet she tucked that 7mil into her back pocket. She stole from children, with full knowledge that the money was needed. 

Congrats, you are literally heartless trash.

Later in August of that same year, came her deciding she needed to get her grabby hands on the money.

Prior to this, Johnny was very happily, without incident and with giving her full credit, donating the money in instalments to her selected charities.

Scum didn’t see the money, so she threw a temper tantrum. She threw even more mud at Johnny, but this is garbage mama. She tried to say that it was all for a tax deduction, because Johnny is a black-eyed monster, right? She went so far as to say he has never cared about these charities in the past. 

Immediately this didn’t sit right to me. I’ve always been aware of Johnny’s charitable side and her trying to discredit that didn’t hold any weight, but I looked into it nonetheless.

Actually Scamber, the exact opposite is true. (and this is the part that had me screaming)

Let us all gather round and bask in the glow of Johnny’s spectacular character.

His donations and relationship with the CHLA can be even further backed-up by a link that Scum herself provided to a Depp-head when she thought she was doing a good job of defending herself on Twitter back in ‘18. The LooktotheStars website has a long list of Johnny’s history in helping out with children’s charities in so many different ways.

Thanks to a Google search, I was able to find out that Johnny actually has a history with the CHLA and an impressive history at that, the kind of history that prompts awards to be given. This occurred back in 2006, back when Scamber was still just doing small, mainly one-episode roles on TV shows. Her role in The O.C in 2005 is literally credited as ‘Salesgirl’.

But Johnny was being praised by a member of the Board of Trustees for the Childrens Hospital LA. And we can prove this happened, unlike Scum, we have receipts. There’s a video of him receiving said award on YouTube and he looks gorgeous and is the angel I’ve always wished him to be.

June 2019-

The CHLA had to reach out to Scum herself to say ‘kai have that money you promised us?’. The below copy of a letter sent to her, details how a donation was received in 2016, but it wasn’t from her, it was made on her behalf. It was $3.5 million and then after that, they didn’t get anything else from her. Just her using their name to make herself look better.

In addition to all of the information that we already have, this letter sure makes it seem like the only donations given were when Johnny was providing them in her name.

Feb 2020-

But that didn’t stop her from lying under oath and stating that the donations had been done. In the UK libel trial, she brought this lie back up to try to use it to clear her name. And the corrupt Judge bought it. But the rest of us aren’t henny.

Jan 2021-

But this is yet another thing that doesn’t stick. She had at least two years from the entirety of her settlement being paid to her, to when Johnny sued for defamation. She couldn’t find a way to get that money to those charities in the meantime? If it was never about money, why was any of it diverted from the charities? She sat with those millions for years and never followed through with that promise and now her team are deflecting like crazy.

And now we come to how the situation stands today: her team are no longer using past tense statements, instead trying to angle this as an ongoing thing and that she’s totally gonna get to it.

Why hasn’t the entire amount been donated in these 4 years? Of course she throws the blame onto Johnny.

She lied for four straight years and the media helped her to do that. How does anything she says have any credibility after this? If she lied about something as huge as this, what else has she lied about?

She is a disgusting excuse for a human being, she stole money from sick (some even terminally so) kids and from the very women whose image she stole for her own gain.

In conclusion: None of this had to happen. She brought this entirely upon herself and I can’t wait to see her go down in flames.

[megibluedragon]

SenGen Harry Potter AU - Goblet of Fire

Big thanks for fanart created by ぱっど. You can find her works on Twitter as  @ptt_pdch She inspired me to write whole fanfic about this so here you go. Please read bellow. 

It is also on ao3 under this link: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684791      Comments would be cool :D

           Gen threw paper with his name into Goblet of Fire. Hogwart’s students cheered. Gen took a look at Senku. He send him angry glare and turned around to leave crowd around him. Gen wasn’t happy with that reaction so he ignored everyone and followed blonde boy. He found him in empty hallway because most of people stayed around Goblet of Fire interested in people brave or crazy enough to throw their names in there. Gen grabbed Senku by his wrist because he wasn’t slowing down even if he probably heard loud steps behind him.

- Senku-chan what’s wrong? – Gen asked with a smile.

- Why did you do that?! – Senku turned around and ripped his wrist out of Gen’s grasp – Only crazy fools compate in that dangerous tournament!

- You worry too much – Gen waved his hand – It was only a joke. Guys from Slytherin dared me to throw my name in there and now guess what? I won big money pretty much doing nothing because Goblet of Fire won’t pick me as Hogwart’s representative.

- What if it will pick you? – Senku with worried tune in his voice. Blonde noticed this and cleared his throat – People die in this tournament!

- Then~maybe I will compete? – boy said in teasing way.

- No, then you will resign and they will pick someone else – Senku corrected.

- Senku-chan you are no fun! You know that? – Gen whined.

- Promise me you won’t participate in this mess – ruby eyes looked at Gen in serious way. Gen started feeling his cheeks burning when he realized something. Senku usually either ignored Gen making tricks on people or was joining him but this time he looks actually worried.

- There is nothing to promise because I won’t be choosen – Gen turned around and run back to other people unable to stand Senku’s stare any longer. Blonde just turned around and walked away. He didn’t want to deal with people again being stupidly excited over tournament.

           Students and teachers from all magic schools participating in tournament gathered in main hall of Hogwart. People were interested who is gonna represent them this year. Principal caught slightly burned piece of paper which flew from Goblet of Fire. He read who will represent Durmstrang Institute. Next was Beauxbatons Academy of Magic’s turn. Students cheered for their promising looking representants. It was finally Hogwart’s turn. Gen sit relaxed on his chair. He knew quite many people from Hogwart threw their name into Goblet of Fire this year. The chance of picking him was too little to worry even one bit.

- Asagiri Gen! – principal announced loudly. Gen felt shiver travelling through his entire body when he heard his name. He stood up and joined other choosen students while hearing students cheering for him. He couldn’t lie that being choosen didn’t feel good.

- I… - bicoloured boy started and found Senku in the crowd. He had ,,I told you!” look on his face. Gen didn’t want to give blonde satisfaction about being right and smirked – I’m honored to represent Hogwart! – he finished and heard another cheer from students.

           It was time for first round of tournament. Gen didn’t talk with Senku since choosing representant for schools. Blonde was clearly mad and other boy knew what he would say if he would start the talk so he choose to prove him that he can handle himself instead. He didn’t expect to win but wanted to have some fun and maybe get second place.

           Gen waited in big tent with other students. Finally teachers showed up. One of them had a bag. Gen could swear it moved.  Students were asked to pick one thing from bag. Bicoloured boy was first and reached inside. Something crawled on his hand and he had to use his whole willpower to not squeal. Gen saw little green dragon on his palm.

- The Welsh Green – said Crouch and let other students pick another two lizards from the bag – These represent three very real dragons, each of which has been given a golden egg to protect. Your objective is simple. Collect the egg. This you must do, for each egg contains a clue without which you cannot hope to proceed to the next task. Any questions? – students looked at each other and everyone understood now why they had to bring their flying brooms.

- Very well, good luck, champions – said principal and all adults left the tent.

           Gen was suppose to go as last person. He was kinda getting stressed so he sat down on one of beds to calm himself. Boy wasn’t neither good or bad at flying. Lack of knowledge about dragons also wasn’t helping with his nerves. It’s been two minutes since student girl from another school entered arena to go against her dragon. Suddenly he heard rustle of one of tent's sides. Gen stood up to check it out. Boy moved material and saw Senku on the other side.

- Senku-chan?! – Gen was genuinely surprised seeing Senku here.

- Shhh… - Senku hushed Gen – You know you are an idiot?

- You came here just to said that? – he responded with pouting face.

- You can still resign – blonde continued.

- And look pathetic in front of everyone after accepting? I have to pass at least one task to not look bad – boy was getting slowly annoyed.

- I thought you will say something like that – Senku sighed and realized they are just wasting time – So I came here to help you survive. I know dragons quite well since I also have pet snake.

- So you also like people from Slytherin? – Gen asked in charming way since he belongs to Slytherin. At this point thanks to Senku’s presence he felt relaxed. He just remembered how hat gave Senku choice if he wants to be in Ravenclaw or Slytherin because he fits both. It was a shame he picked Ravenclaw to be around people who actually seek knowledge.

- Focus, mentalist! – blonde ignored other boy – What dragon did you pick?

- The Welsh Green – he answered while coming back from his thoughts.

- Alright. We don’t have much time left. I will tell you weaknesses of that dragon so you can survive and get that gold egg – Gen nodded – Listen well because I will only say it once – Senku started explaining weak points of green dragon and Gen actually focused to not get himself burned on arena – Just come back in one piece – Senku finished and moved material to close open space in tent. Gen was left alone again until he heard his name and cheers coming from arena. He took deep breath and walked out of tent with his flying broom remembering everything Senku said to him.  

           Gen was second fastest thanks to Senku's help. He was able to avoid all fire attacks and get gold egg quicker than he thought. Now he knew his face was safe even if he would resign from next two tasks. But he really wanted to know what is second task since it’s all of them are different every year. He already had egg with hidden clue. It was possible to figure out answer before next round will even start. Gen wanted to check it out in peace so he went back to his bed in dorm to rest and figure out clue. Boy moved gold thing in his hands. There was nothing on the surface. He touched the top which moved and opened an egg. Agonizing scream spread across the room and everyone covered their ears. All men looked at Gen in annoying way.

- Sorry! – boy closed gold egg as fast as he could. He still heard ringing in his ears. It stayed there for few minutes. Just then Gen could collect his thoughts again – I’m NOT opening this again – he murmured to himself and got up from bed. He had better idea how to deal with this.

           Student from Slytherin went to lab room because he knew Senku would be there when he feels good, wants to be alone or feel stressed. So that would be most of his extra time he had for experiments. Gen wasn’t sure how blonde will react to his offer. He was counting on his natural curiosity to take over.

           As Gen expected Senku was sitting behind one of desks with some elixirs. He was too focused to notice someone entering the room. Blue eyes followed hands handling beakers in delicate way. He really didn’t want to disturb his free time but he needed his help. Gen moved in more confident way to not scare him with quiet steps. Senku heard company and stopped his work. He lifted his ruby eyes at mentalist who now stood near desk. Blonde noticed gold egg in his hands.

- Thanks for help with the dragon – Gen started to scratch Senku’s confidence and give him at least half of the credit even if he only created the plan and wasn’t avoiding flames on flying broom. They both knew Senku would probably fall from broom sooner than dragon would reach him. That would be bad to mention out loud so boy zipped his mouth before making a joke about that.

- Well it wouldn’t work if you were bad in flying – responded and went back to work. Gen took it as compliment and noticed sudden curious look toward gold egg.

- Speaking about reward from first task – Gen changed subject seeing chance – I’ve been trying to figure out clue from this gold egg but when I opened it it started screaming – Senku lifted his eyes as Gen again – I saved reputation by passing first task but I want to at least know what is second task to decide if I should resign. I don’t want to open this again and risk my ears bleeding so I went to you. Maybe you can figure it out? That’s something interesting right? – he extended gold egg towards Senku. Gen saw vine popping out on other boy’s head. He really tried to resist. Mentalist thought it’s cute and moved item in his hand to tempt him a little bit more.

- Let me take a look at that – Senku left all his work and grabbed gold egg from others hands. He started looking at shiny surface – You said it screamed when you opened it?

- Yeah, you don’t want to… - Gen saw Senku reaching for top of the egg – Wait! – Senku didn’t listen and opened the egg. Screams echoed even louder in bigger room. Gen covered his ears because other closed it after three long seconds not like mentalist just second after opening it – I TOLD YOU TO NOT OPEN IT! YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME! – Gen rised his voice because ringing was hurting his head again.

- I needed to hear it myself. Your word about it screaming wasn’t enough for me – Senku sticked finger inside his ear hoping ringing will stop. He noted in his head bringing headphones for this – I need to do more tests on this. It could take a while. Do you have time?

- Are you gonna open it again? – he asked.

- Yes – he nodded while bringing to himself notebook and pen.

- Then I’m out. Call for me when you figure it out – Gen moved towards the door and then left the room.

- What am I doing? It’s not my problem. Not my egg. He should sit here and at least watch me work – Senku mumbled to himself with frustration not sure if he was angry at mentalist for leaving him his problem or for not wanting to keep him company as thanks for help.

           All Senku could do was focus his mind on mystery of gold egg. Clue shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. He heated egg with fire since it's dragon egg. Boil it in water. Looked at what's inside with headphones this time. He noticed bubbles under shell. Senku recorded that scream and compared it to sound from other creatures living near water and in water. 

Trions fit this sound and Senku knew they sound horrible out of water but beautiful underwater. When he put egg in normal water screams were gone and there was something like humming. Senku thought he figured out what to do but wanted to show final effect in Gen’s presence.  

           Gen expected to get answer from Senku in lab but all message said was ,,Meet with me in men’s bath at 1am. Take swim trunks and towel”. What was that suppose to mean?! Was all Gen thought while slowly walking towards bath. Was this about gold egg or Senku wanted to spend some enjoyable time because they were only fighting ever since Gen threw his name into Goblet of Fire? Blonde didn’t mention egg at all. Mentalist was getting nervous and excited because more signs were pointing at some alone time in the night, in the BATH of all places. Gen stopped in front of door and heard steps on the other side and then splash of water. Senku was probably already there. Bicoloured boy took deep breath and walked inside.

           Bath was already full of fog and warm inside in enjoyable way. If he will uncontrollably blush, he will blame high temperature. Senku was already sitting in shallow pool. He turned around hearing footsteps behind him. Gen wondered how his spiky hair are still standing but he noticed few strands of hair starting to fall because of high temperature. He couldn’t help but also look at his bare chest. Not build but also not thin. His abdomen was clearly showing some muscles. Gen felt like true twig around here. He swallowed and bit lower lip when his eyes followed few water drops travelling from shoulders to lower part of chest and back in pool.

- Are you going to stand there whole night or get in here? – Senku couldn’t help but chuckle. Gen was brought back into reality and left towel on shelf already feeling embarrassed. He joined Senku in pool and sat with respectable distance from him. Gen slashed himself with water up to shoulders. He felt the need to do something with hands. Standing there like petrified was already stupid. Now he couldn’t even look at Senku.

- So… - Senku didn’t want awkward moment o last any longer. He reached to his side, took something and in a second closed distance between him and Gen. Mentalist slightly jumped when he noticed gold egg being presented right in front of his face. Boy looked surprised at another who was clearly proud of himself – I figured it out. I mean I still don’t know the clue but I know how this egg works. So I called you here to show you.

- In the bath? – Senku only nodded. Gen just realized true answer was clue about second task and not need to spend time together. He somehow felt disappointed but he didn’t want to ruin it. He was still in the bath with Senku. They could deal with gold egg first and then maybe relax a bit more later. With that thought he focused on hearing Senku’s results of experiments – So how it works?

- Clue has something to do with tritons. Their voices sound horrible out of water but under… - Senku put egg under water and opened it. There was no scream but other quiet sound coming out – Let’s check out how it sounds under water – Senku smirked and dived his whole body into pool while still holding egg. Gen followed him.

           Both looked at each other. Gen loved the way Senku’s hair were flowing underwater. Like they just remembered they don’t have to be spiky all the time. He rurned his gaze towards egg because it was opened again. This time there was no scream but very beautiful female voice. Boys listened to her short song. Melody was relaxing but lyrics sent bad shiver through spines. Lack of air forced both students to finally grasp some air above water. Gen still wasn’t sure how to respond to that clue so he looked at Senku. Mentalist again held his breath because it wasn’t often to see blonde with wet hair now going down and reaching his shoulders. He got a bit of jealous of students from Ravenclaw probably seeing Senku like this more often. He should let his hair down like this from time to time. Was what Gen thought. Sadly beautiful hair were mixed with grim look on Senku’s face. Gen didn’t like that combination. Boy didn’t even looked at him and got out of pool, still holding egg but closed this time.

- If this clue is trying to explain what is second task then I think contestants will have to swim with tritons for an hour and bring back some item – Senku said while drying his body with towel. Gen realized there is no extra time to relax in pool so he sighed and also got out of water.

- But breathing underwater for an hour is impossible so we probably need to use some kind of spell or elixir to help with that – Gen finished and also started to dry his body with towel.

- You don’t want to participate in this right? – blonde looked at Gen kinda shocked – Do I have to remind you how deadly tritons are? They are even worse than dragons. Underwater nobody will control what is happening and know if help is needed.

- Senku-chan I’m really charmed by you worrying about me so much but tritons don’t attack if you don’t piss them off. They keep their distance or just swim away. Well unless they are desperate to hunt but lake near Hogwart is full of food. They aren’t starving for sure. Maybe that’s why they think it will be safe to do second task with them – Gen just shrugged his arms.

- Did you heard part about bringing something from them? That’s sound like a good reason to piss them off – other reminded.

- But you have some kind of elixir that would let a human breath underwater for an hour? – Gen asked in casual way.

- Of course I have! Who do you think you are talking to?! – boy responded immediately – Don’t change the subject! I’m not giving you elixir and I doubt you will find information how to make one. Also it’s not like you would be able to make one even with instruction. You are horrible with elixirs.

- Senku-chan so mean~ - Gen felt offended this time for real.

- Without elixir you won’t be able to participate and you are gonna be disqualified – blonde sent triumphant stare at Gen – Problem solved. I will finally get some sleep.

- You are not sleeping because you are worried about me Senku-chan? – mentalist was honestly shocked. Senku ignored Gen and left the bath. Blonde didn’t have time to hide his red ears which other noticed. Mentalist considered jumping into water again to cool his heating up face.

           In the night Gen sneaked into Senku's part of lab looking for mixture but didn't find it. He figured Senku would hide it near him. Getting into Ravenclaw part was harder but not impossible. Gen avoided people patrolling hallways. He finally found room with Senku’s bed. He hoped blonde really went to sleep than stay awake to look out for him. He held his breath and entered room. It was dark everywhere. Everyone was sleeping. Only Gen’s wand was giving little light. Mentalist found Senku. Boy looked like actually peacefully sleeping. Boy started looking through drawers. There was nothing he needed. He looked under bed and noticed bunch of boxes. Inside were some books, equipment, personal stuff like clothes. He even find box with pet snake. Animal hissed at boy. He wasn’t happy about someone disturbing his peace. Student hoped Senku didn’t wake up from that. He finally found box he was looking for. There were elixirs inside. Each had label to not get mixed. He found one that looked like fastly pushed in there. That was probably the one which Senku tried to hide. Gen took it and felt his throat tightening. Senku expected Gen to look for it in lab but believed he wasn’t stupid enough to sneak into his room to find it. Thanks to that he was sleeping peacefully right now. He clearly betrayed his trust right now. Gen whispered ,,Sorry" knowing that’s not enought and he will have to work hard on getting his trust back after all of this. He silently left room and went to check in some books if this elixir was the right one. He promised if it’s not then he will really resign because he wasn’t going back to Senku’s room. He would rather resign. Guilt was already twisting his stomach.

           Gen showed up near lake because after checking some books he found information that elixir he took was correct. He was lucky because book only explained how this mixture worked and not how to make one. Senku wouldn’t explain it to him. He didn’t even see blonde anywhere. There was already big crowd near lake. Boy figured Senku probably realized his mixture was gone and was mad at Gen so he didn't showed up. Student felt another guilt twist in his stomach. For now he pushed emotions aside because he needed to focus on task. No one explained what they had to collect from tritons. Teachers just said they will know once they see it. Gen didn’t want to ignore the fact that mad tritons are dangerous. Senku was right. Stealing something from them will probably make them mad. Gen looked at mixture and drank it. It was too late to resign now. He dived in lake with others after hearing signal.

           The moment he went underwater big bubble grew around his head giving him needed air. It was still weird to breathe in place like that. First breath was the hardest because he automatically held it while diving. When he realized everything is alright he followed other two contestants.

           Gen thought tritons are guarding some treasure or personal item that they should retrieve. They for sure looked creepy while lurking nearby. As he expected they didn’t attack when they saw him. Tritons were only following in while keeping safe distance. They were clearly interested what humans were doing in their territory. Gen stoped following them with his eyes because he noticed three people drifting in water. Their legs were attached by rope to the ground. Gen understood now why teachers said they will know what they have to bring back. Student from Durmstrang already cut one rope and was going with choosen person towards surface. Gen got there the moment when other girl saved her friend and was fastly swimming up with her.

           Amon hostages Gen recognized Senku as last person still tied by the rope. Bicoloured boy was shocked and moved to him faster. He was really pissed off at that moment. Gen thought they will just grab some item but they were using real people for this. He was mad at teachers for putting Senku in this situation. Mentalist was sure he didn’t agree to this idea and was probably forced. Probably other two people also didn’t want to do this. Gen was disgusted by this whole idea.

           Gen checked Senku's vitals and it looked like he was under spell which kept him unconscious but still alive underwater. He hugged Senku to himself and took a look at tritons which for some reason looked more mad than when other people were rescued. Mentalist cut rope holding Senku's leg and started swimming to the surface. Tritons also swam dangerously close. One of them touched Senku's green hair fascinated and then hissed at Gen. Boy realized tritons probably liked Senku's appearance because of flowing green hair. While he would agree with their taste he didn’t want to share Senku-chan with them. Gen speeded up but then tritons started pulling Senku down by his legs. Gen got even more mad and reached for his wand. He started casting spells to push tritons away from Senku. Last spell pushed them faster to the surface. Air bubble popped. Senku woke up and coughed few times. Spell casted on him probably wore off. He looked confused not sure what's going on around him.  Gen felt tears building up in his eyes and hugged Senku tighter to himself.

- I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Senku-chan! Please forgive me! I'm sorry! - Gen was repeating with breaking voice. 

           Senku hugged Gen back without saying anything and just focusing on breathing for now. He let mantalist bring him to shore of the lake because he still felt exhausted from spell that was casted on him. Gen thought cheers around them was noisy. He couldn’t care less. Someone threw towels towards them. Bicoloured boy grabbed them and instantly covered Senku to not let him catch a cold. Boy was leaning on his torso without a word. Gen wasn’t sure how blonde was feeling right now. He didn’t want to push him.

           Medical personel took Senku to medical hall in school to check his condition. Same thing happened with other two hostages. They wanted to make sure their health is alright. Now they were carring?! Thought Gen still furious. He visited Senku who was laying on medical bed. He looked completely awake now. His hair was still a mess but he didn’t have time to fix it.

- How are you feeling? – Gen asked with shy voice. He wasn’t sure if Senku even wants to talk with him now or he should leave.

- Better – he responded and slowly sit up on his bed – I would probably fall over if I would try to run but it’s still better than right after getting out of water.

- Senku-chan I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault – he covered face with his hands and slightly leaned over.

- It’s not your fault… I mean it is – he heard small gasp and noticed Gen starting to shake. He really felt guild taking over him – I mean… - Senku tried to correct himself and took one of Gen’s hands in his own to look him in the eyes and get his attention. Boy looked at him with glossy gaze from forming tears – Participating in this tournament was your fault but dragging me into this mess wasn’t. When I realized you stole my elixir I was going to stop you but one of the teachers showed up in front of me and with quick ,,Sorry” casted a spell on me. I blacked out and next thing I remember was waking up in you arms in water.

- It’s still my fault. If I would resign from participation in second task then teachers wouldn’t risk your life without your permission – Gen countered still didn’t feeling better about this – It was scary. Tritons thought your hair are pretty and wanted to keep you. It was really hard to push them away from you.

- Pretty huh? – Senku chuckled and moved strand of his hair with free hand. He noticed Gen slightly blushing but wasn’t feel like laughing. Blonde really wanted to fix that – Gen, listen to me – he gently squeezed other hand and Gen looked at him again – I couldn’t warn you what contestants will have to bring from tritons. I’m actually glad you went all the way with this task and didn’t resign the moment you were near lake. By that time I was probably already underwater. Other contestants would save their hostages and I would end u palone there. You said tritons didn’t want to let me go like others. That means even teachers would have hard time bringing me back or in worst case scenerio I would be tragic accident of this tournament. But you dived in there and didn’t let tritons keep me. You saved me, mentalist. That’s what is important. Got it?

- Senku-chan~ - Gen sobbed and he couldn’t hold it. He hugged Senku to himself again. Senku just returned hug.

- What about third task? – Senku asked still holding Gen.

- I don’t care about that. I already resigned from whole thing and got disqualified. I figured I can’t show myself to you again without doing that first – Gen answered and Senku smiled with relief.

- Gen I didn’t want to ruin your fun. I just didn’t want you to get hurt – blonde admitted and pushed Gen away from himself but now he was holding his hands. They were still in each other personal space.

- I really appreciate you worrying about me but this time your lever of protectiveness reached the roof of Hogwart. Was me getting potentially hurt only reason for that? – Gen asked in more teasing way. Guild was draining his energy. Senku’s words were already lifting his spirit. He thought maybe getting back Senku’s trust won’t take as long as he expected.

           Senku blushed a bit thinking what he should say but in the end decided to give Gen quick kiss on the lips for an answer. Gen was shocked and looked at Senku who was even more red than before. Gen smiled softly and put his hand on Senku’s cheek. Then he leaned over and kissed Senku. This time they kissed longer than before and blonde returned the kiss. Gen wanted to reassure him that he shares similar feelings with him. He was so glad Senku is safe and promised to never put him in danger like this ever again.

[wayward-mikaelson]

How To Save A Life

Word Count: 3392

Characters: Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Reader, Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

About: Steve is still reeling from what happened

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Death, Language, Blood, Angst, mentions of sexual activities, and a very sad and depressed Steve Rogers

A/N: So this little drabble was inspired by TikTok creator theobsessedmarvelfan. She has a little series going on about how the Avengers would react to you dying and the one she did of Steve Rogers was just beyond amazing and I needed to write down what I had in my head for it. I titled the story after the song the TikTok creator used on their video. I hope you like it and I hope that the TikTok creator sees this and thinks it’s good as well. So I can’t take all the credit for it.

A/N #2: Wow! I am just super proud of this. I got so emotional writing this and may have shed a few tears. I really hope you like this guys.

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"Be careful up there," Steve had said to you. He had grabbed your upper arm and pulled you in towards his chest. His free hand cradled the back of your neck and looked deep into your Y/E/C eyes. Drinking in all the love and passion he saw in them at that moment. Finally, he dipped down and pressed his lips firmly to yours. Earning himself a small moan from you against his lips.

"You're cute when you worry about me," you pulled away and stared into Steve's eyes. Worry isn't his only guest, fear was there too. "Its just a quick walk around and making sure everything is all good." Steve only sighed and let go of your arm. "I'll be fine, babe. Don't forget we have those dinner reservations tonight."

Steve watched as you walked away from him. How could he forget dinner tonight? Steve thought to himself as he walked away. He had thought about the black laced box sitting in his night stand at the compound. In it sat the simple diamond ring he had planned on presenting to you that very evening.

***

"I'll be fine, babe."

Those words echoed in Steve's head as if on repeat as he punched his way through his fourth punching bag. Steve wanted to forget everything about that day. He wanted to bury the aching pain that was coursing through his entire being. He wanted to bury it deep down with each punch he threw at the bag in front of him. He just wanted to feel numb to it all. But he just couldn't. It was his reminder that you had been real. You flipped his whole world around with a simple, easy "hello" and with a breathtakingly, painful "goodbye."

Steve took a step away from the punching bag, closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. He needed to think of something else. He needed to keep his mind from steering towards that day. He needed to think of something happy. Something that can help him through the pain. With a small but pained smile on his face, Steve thought about yours and his first kiss some years ago.

It had been really late at night and the briefing had run long. Steve couldn't keep his eyes off you the whole time Tony or Bruce talked. You had been oblivious to the super soldier staring at you as your eyes had either been focused on the notepad in front of you or who ever was talking. When the briefing was finally over, Steve noticed you walk outside to the court yard and followed you. Being the gentleman that he was, he asked to sit next to you. Steve saw the way your face turned pink as you said yes. The two of you talked for a few more hours before having to call it a night. Steve had offered to walk you back to your room and you said yes. But the two of you got lost looking into each others eyes, that Steve couldn't hold it together. He bent down and kissed your soft lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Welcoming whatever came next.

***

"How's it looking up there?" Steve asked you through the mic on his wrist. He, Natasha and Bucky just cleared their end and exited the building. Steve had barely heard from you the whole time and his heart had been racing like a rocket. He needed to check in.

"We're all clear up here," your voice coming through his ear piece made him smile. "We are just passing through the fourth floor. Shouldn't be too much longer, Captain."  Steve could hear and see the smirk on your face as your called him Captain. You knew calling him Captain did things to him.

"Move faster, Agent Y/L/N," He said into the mic, smiling and turning around. It was in that moment that Steve remembered everyones mics and ear pieces were all on the same channel. Natasha was smirking and raising one her eyebrows. Steve could already hear the teasing coming from her. Steve glanced over at his best friend who was pretending to take an interest in the metal railing next to him. He too could see the impending teasing coming from him as well. It was no secret that you and Steve Roger were dating and very, highly intimate with each other. To the point that it comes out during missions.

Before Steve could say anything about what had just happened, the building exploded behind him. Steve spun around to see the glass and debris from the fourth floor and up fall around him. Every part of his body went stone cold and his heart stopped. His only thought in that moment was you.

"Y/N?!" Steve called your name into the mic. His heart had been pounding now. "Y/N, Sweetheart? Can hear me? Are you okay?" Panic rose within him with each word he said.

After a couple minutes there was static. "Steve..." your voice, no your pained groan, was barely heard before static took over again.

***

Steve stopped punching the bag and shook his head, taking a deep breath. He felt the onslaught of tears threatening to escape. Steve started to punch the bag again but this time, with more force. Causing the chain above it to shake almost violently. With each punch and each grunt, Steve fought the tears back. He tried really hard to push down the rest of that painful day.

"Happy thoughts," Steve grunted to himself. "Happy memories."

Steve found himself thinking about how your bare skin felt against his when the two of you would make love late into the night. He thought about how you would sigh deeply when he would kiss the back or side of your neck. When he would kiss down your body, he would always glance up and see you staring down at him. A small moan would always escape your lips and you would always drop your head back into the pillows.

Steve would kiss all the way down to your inner thigh, making sure not to miss your extremely sensitive clit. He would always plant a small and gentle kiss there. Then he would take the tip of his nose and slowly trail it from the inner thigh to your clit, where he would gently wiggle it, making your squirm and whimper and claw at the sheets around you. Which was his absolute favorite response from you. From there he would trail his nose up your body and to the base of your chin. Steve would then give you a gentle kiss on the lips before pushing up on his arms to stare into your beautiful Y/E/C eyes.

***

Steve ran in to the almost collapsing building. Ignoring his request to stay back and make sure civilians made it out okay, Bucky went in after his best friend. The two weaved through the panic crowd, ushering those who grabbed hold of them towards the exit.

"I thought I told you to stay back," Steve turned to Bucky in the stairwell.

"I'm not going to let you do something so fucking stupid," Bucky countered as he followed Steve up the stairs.

"Saving the love of my life isn't stupid," Steve said cooly. Gosh, why couldn't Bucky just listen for once today.

"No," Bucky grabbed Steve's arm and spun him around. The fear and worry was written all over his face. "But running into a collapsing building is."

The two looked at each other for a few seconds. "Y/N said they were passing through the fourth floor." Steve pulled his arm back and the continued up the stairs until they reached the fourth floor.

To Steve's horror, everything was blown to bits. Fire raged all around them. Wires and cables dangled dangerously close to the ground. The ventilation system from the ceiling was close to falling. This had to be the heart of  the explosion.

"You take that side and I'll take this side."

Steve and Bucky went to work flipping through pieces of falling debris and under it with no luck at all. Steve began to panic with each passing minute he couldn't find you. He would call out to you and would get nothing in return.

"Guys," Natasha's voice sounded in their ear pieces. "This building is about to go down any minute."

"We're not leaving until we find Y/N," Bucky said tossing back a chunk of ceiling.

"Buck," Steve stopped what he was doing. "You go on out, I'll stay."

"The fuck I'm not," Bucky's voice was firm. "I'm not going to leave your ass in here."

Steve closed his eyes. "Buck," he said slowly opening his eyes. They were beginning to sting with the smoke and ash around him. "I'm not going to-" That when something under a table and slab of ceiling caught his eye. A pair of legs. And by the combat boots, he knew it was you. "Bucky! Get over here. I found her," He yelled.

Together, Steve and Bucky moved the slab and table. Steve just about lost his balance when he saw your body laying there. Motionless. Steve knelt down and noticed a huge gash on your forehead. The blood looked like it had slowed down. Steve placed his ear to your chest and heard a faint thumping of your heart and a small raise of your chest. Steve sighed with a slight smile on his face.

"It's okay Sweetheart, I got you now," Steve gathered you into his arms and painful scream left your lips. Leaving Steve wide eyed and he knew right then and there, that there was more to your injuries.

That's when the next and final explosion hit. Bucky urgently ushered Steve, who was carrying you, into the stairwell before the rest of the that floor was gone.

***

Steve's punches got more forceful as he remembered that scream. The tears that Steve had fought so hard to hold back, were starting to roll down his face. That scream echoed through his head at night. Keeping him up and leaving him restless the next morning. No matter what Steve did to bury that scream, he would always hear it. And it always killed him.

"Shouldn't have let her go," Steve said through the tears and in between the forceful punches. The chain above above started to give way. "Should have told her stay behind."

Steve thought about the night of Tony's dinner party. The fifth dinner party that month. How many dinner parties can one man have? Steve remembered the two of you getting ready and arguing about the mission. Steve didn't want you to go and didn't have a good enough reason as to why. You pointed it out too and that caused Steve to raise the white flag of surrender. Not to mention you were wearing the dress he absolutely loved on you. The dress that would drive him crazy until he had his way with you. The dress that still sits in his closet where he would touch it and smell it each night. Just to catch that faint smell of the perfume you used that night.

Steve remembered being at the dinner party, secretly hoping you'd enjoy yourself just a little too much. He hoped that when you woke up that morning, you would be too hungover and sick to do that mission. How could Steve explain the sickening pit in his stomach about you and that mission? How could he explain that he knew something was going to happen? He could only hope at this point. You did enjoy yourself that night. You even convinced Steve to wonder off from the dinner party for an intimate quickie. Steve didn't mind, he hoped maybe he could get you exhausted enough to sleep in.

But you woke up that morning feeling amazing. Steve tried, again, to talk you out of it but, you got upset and walked away from him. You had barely said a word to him until he told you to be careful that day.

"I'll be fine, babe," those words echoed again through his head.

"But you weren't," Steve hit the bag harder. "And you're not here. I should have just dragged you off the helicopter. Only then you would still be here."

***

Steve paced around the hospital waiting room. It felt like forever since they arrived with you and they immediately rushed you off to surgery. Natasha tried to get Steve to sit but he kept pushing her arm away from him.

"Steve," her calm voice would try and make him focus. "You need to sit down and relax."

"You know what," Steve turned on her, his tone sharp. "Until we know how she is, I won't sit down and relax." Natasha stopped trying after that and got coffee for everyone every hour or so. Steve turned it down each time she offered.

Bucky on the other hand just stared at his best friend. Bucky knew from the moment Steve picked you up and you screamed, your internal organs were massively messed up. It would take a miracle for you to make it off that table alive. But he couldn't tell that to Steve. Steve would probably throw him out of the hospital.

After what seemed like forever, a doctor came out looking for Steve. The doctor took Steve by the shoulders and walked him off somewhere where the team couldn't hear. Natasha and Bucky gave each other horrified looks. They knew what was about to go down.

"Son," the older doctor in a soft and calm ton. "I'm sorry to say this, but she didn't make it."

Steve's whole entire being froze. It felt like he started to sway from side to side so Steve grabbed the wall for support. "What?" He asked, it felt like his voice had been caught in his throat. "She was just breathing a few hours ago. Her heart was beating."

The doctor took a deep breath. "The damage to her insides was worse than we thought. Her lungs were punctured by broken ribs. There was massive internal bleeding that no one could stop or find where it was coming from. Then there was her heart-"

"What about her heart?!" Steve's voice rose and the next thing he felt was Natasha's hand on his arm.

The doctor looked towards Natasha who nodded her head for him to go on. "Her heart just stopped during surgery. We tried for an hour to bring her back. There was nothing else we could do. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Natasha sent the doctor on his way. When she looked back at Steve, she saw that his entire world falling apart in his eyes.  But it wasn't compared to what he was feeling on the inside.  

Steve felt like he had been hit by a car. The words the doctor said echoed louder and over Natasha's words. What was she trying to say? Steve couldn’t tell or even focus on what she was saying. His body had felt like it had been plunged into arctic waters. Steve slowly and shakily turned to face the wall, pressing his hands on it for even more support.

Tears rolled down Steve's face as he tried to get his breathing together. He stared at the wall for what seemed like forever until his arms gave out and he fell against the wall and slide down to his knees. Natasha was right by his side, taking him into her arms letting him be vulnerable.

"She's gone Nat," Steve whispered. "Y/N is gone."

"I know, Steve, I know."

***

Steve had stopped punching the bag and just stared at the bag in front of him. The tears had stopped and left his face emotionless. He knew he needed to stop thinking and replaying that day over and over in his head. He knew he needed to move on from you. But he just couldn't do it. No matter how hard he tried. The pain and the grief of your death would just consume him until he felt numb.

Just as he felt now.

***

Steve was numb. It took Natasha everything she had to drag him out of the compound and to your funeral. Steve didn't want to go. He didn't want to see your lifeless body laying there in a casket. But Natasha forced him to.

"As much as it hurts," she said parking the car at the church. "This will help you move on or heal or something."

Steve just stared at the people walking into the church. He would soon have to face this now or never. "Let's just get this over with."

Steve sat in the pew and listened to the preacher talk about your life and the service to your country and people. Steve smiled because he knew how proud you were of serving but more proud to serve the world. But he never took his eyes off your motionless body except for one time.

Steve glanced up to see your mother staring at him and that brought back the memory of him having to go her door and telling her that you weren't coming home. Losing you was the hardest thing he ever experienced but seeing your mother break down and scream insults at him, killed him even more. It ended with your mother slapping him and slamming the door on his face. Steve closed his eyes and fought back more tears.

"You should have protected her better," your mother had said. And Steve couldn't agree more. He should have but he couldn't. It was out of his control.

When the time came to put you into the ground, it felt like Steve was losing you all over again. Steve watched as family, friends, and team members put flowers or small tokens on top of your casket. Steve held a bouquet of your favorite flowers on his lap and in his pocket, was the laced box with the engagement ring.  

"I can take those up for you," Bucky leaned forward from his seat behind Steve.

Steve looked around and saw a few people looking at him. "No, I got this. Thanks buddy." With that, Steve stood up and made his way towards your casket. Each step he took, tore at his heart. Each step he took, took his breath away. Each step he took, took him closer to that painful, final goodbye.

Steve laid the flowers down and reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box. He opened and stared at the diamond ring. Taking a long and deep breath, Steve set it down on your casket.

"Goodbye, Sweetheart."

***

With a forceful punch, Steve set that fourth punching bag across the room. As he turned around to grab another bag, he saw Sam standing in the doorway. He had his arms crossed.

"It's been two months," Sam said walking into the room.

"I know how long it's been," Steve picked up the next bag and hooked it up.

"Don't you think you've gone through enough punching bags?"

Steve turned to face his friend. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying," Sam took a deep breath and a few more steps towards Steve. "Punching your way through bag after bag isn't going to bring Y/N back. She'd want you to move on."

Steve turned away and started to wrap his hand up for another round. "Don't you think I know that? I was there when she got hurt. I was there when she died. I was there when they lowered her six feet into the ground."

"Steve," Sam started to say softly, lowering his arms.

"No," Steve said firmly. "Just stop and leave me be."

Sam looked down at the ground and nodded. "Alright, just remember you have friends and a team to lead. So when you're done with this," he gestures to the remaining bags on the floor a few feet from Steve. "Come back to us." With that, Sam walked out closing the door behind him.

Steve stared at the hanging bag in front of him. He knew Sam was right. He knew you would want him to stop this wallowing and depressing stage to move on and lead. He just missed you so much.

He looked down at his half wrapped hand and began to unwrap it. He tossed the material to the side as he walked out of the room. He walked through the kitchen, where everyone was sitting and starring, watching and waiting to see what his next move would be.

Steve turned to them with an eyebrow raised. "Training room. Now."

The End

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

Hi all, a note from Mercy here. The whole following post was submitted by decibel anon. It’s amazing and I really didn’t have a lot to add. I was hoping they would post it themselves but they never responded to my posts so hopefully this is okay. You should all read through and if I ever figure out who it is I’ll link them so you can all show them some love

Hi again, ‘tis I, 🎧! And this is the Seokmin picture I was talking about. (Full credit goes to @/svtzone on Twitter. They posted this with the caption 'what he doing with all that ass’.) 

And… there are not enough words in the English language to properly describe just how utterly feral this picture makes me.

But let me try. Because my muse has decided to be kind and bless me with inspiration (aka it grabbed me by my throat and still hasn’t let go), so I’ve got all different sorts of ideas. These are just a few from the top of my head and summarized. I’ve gone a bit more in-detail about them down below if you’re interested. So:

Whiny Babyboy Seokmin, riled up from your previous actions (your choice), lying on the bed like that, whining and begging for you to touch him please

A hybrid SVT 97 line threesome which is just super chill and relaxed because life as an Idol is hard and they just randomly got into the mood, with a lot of ass worship for Seokmin, general body worship for Minghao and dick worship for Mingyu

Seokmin with a male s/o getting thoroughly fucked, so much he can’t even keep himself up on his arms and knees

Bratty Seokmin teasing and taunting you the entire day (or even longer) until you snap (positively, no anger) and tell him to get to the bedroom, when you open the door minutes later this is the position he is in, wiggling his ass at you, and oh do you go to town on his ass

Seokmin pillow humping, you catch him the act and have different options to choose from - either making him continue or making him sit on your lap and dry hump your thigh. Either way, he’ll ruin his pants and look gorgeous while doing so

Rimming Seokmin. Either extremely slow, so slow he can’t even moan when he finally cums, far too gone by that point, or the exact opposite - so fast he’s screaming his voice hoarse. (First time rimming would be nice too, tbh)

Now, I know this is a lot all at once. This would probably be enough for a short series if I’m honest. (Almost enough for a 'week of Seokmin’, huh?) And by no means do I expect you to respond/comment to every single one or - heaven beware! - even write some little thing for every single one. Nah. You can pick one of them, some of them, or even none of them - I just tried to get the emotions that this picture evoked in me across properly. (And describe some of the scenarios that got into my mind.) I also guess I just got a bit overexcited and went overboard. Sorry if I’m overstepping boundaries. You can tell me to back off if it bothers you, no hard feelings.

But if you’re interested, intrigued or even inspired and want to know more about what my brain has come up with for one of those scenarios… here goes nothing:

His position, along with his clothing (y'know, rather casual) just give me the biggest whiny babyboy vibes, and I live for it. I can just see it, him lying on your shared bed like that, hands tied to the headboard with silk, him already worked up from your previous actions (not sure what exactly - could be anything from having to wear a vibrating buttplug all day to just a really heavy makeout with you grinding like hell on him), panting softly and squirming on the bed. Begging you to touch him, to kiss him, anything. And oh, he’s begging so prettily. He’s even spread out so prettily, still modestly clothed, but his position is anything but modest, hips lifted off from the bed, back arched, maybe even swaying his gorgeous ass from side to side a bit to entice you. It would be a shame to just leave him like that, wouldn’t it? It would be a shame to not go over to him, to not lean over him without touching him yet, to not press a few loving kisses to his neck while your fingers ghost from his achingly hard dick up to his ass, giving him the barest bit of of what he wants that still has him whining and moaning obscenely, to suddenly grab his dick harshly which would make him gasp and choke out a moan at the sudden stimulation, back arching even more to push himself closer to your hand. It would be a shame to do none of that, wouldn’t it?

Y'know, you can take this into many different directions. Like, if we go into the hybrid direction. How about Hybrid 97 line, who are all very comfortable with each other and sometimes heat partner, get the dorm to themselves and they do something which started out really innocent like playfighting, playing games like Twister or just chilling together and watching some Netflix. The mood is great, they’re all enjoying themselves, and as time passes, things almost naturally take a different turn. All this physical closeness is getting everyone hot and bothered under the collar, until one finally lets out an accidental moan. (My bet would be Mingyu.) From there on out the switch is fully flipped, they all know what’s gonna happen. But it’s still extremely chill and relaxed. They’ve got time, so they take it. At one point Minghao’s rimming Seokmin and sometimes leaving hickies and bitemarks on his ass while Seokmin is deepthroating Mingyu’s dick, subconsciously scratching up his thighs and Mingyu is praising and dirty talking while trying to jerk Minghao off. (Or maybe stroking Minghao’s tail, if you want to pick an animal with a tail for him.) At another point, Minghao is sitting on Mingyu’s lap, facing Seokmin who his kissing (and yes, leaving soft hickies and bitemarks) all across his body, mumbling about how gorgeous he is while Mingyu gently thrusts up into Mingaho. All in all, really chill and loving. They all end up thoroughly satisfied - which the other members of course notice and tease them about it later on.

Or hey, let’s go into a male s/o direction, since I’ve seen little of it so far - I can just imagine that Seokmin would be in that position while getting thoroughly fucked by his s/o. Naked, sweating, panting like hell, close to passing out from so much stimulation kind of thoroughly fucking. There’s a small pool of his own cum underneath him already (yeah, I remember those 'Seokmin cums a lot’ asks and they’re back to haunt me), cum from his s/o dripping down his back, covering up some of the hickies, bitemarks and scratchmarks his s/o left on him, while his s/o mercilessly fucks into him, holding onto his hips with a bruising grip. Originally, Seokmin was on his elbows and knees, but he doesn’t have enough strength left for that anymore. He barely even has enough strength to keep his hips up a bit, to move with his s/o, to thrust back a bit. His brain is empty, numb from all the pleasure he’s feeling. And it’s exactly what he needs.

Or another direction - the words on the picture (섹시 도발) translate to 'sexy taunts’ or 'sexy provocations’. How about a bratty Seokmin who, true to a brat, has been extremely teasing the entire day? Doing things like distracting you while you were working by sending you increasingly lewd pictures and text messages, or placing his hand up on your thigh while you were out eating with a few others (members, your friends, his non-idol friends) and slowly trailing his hand up even further until he was teasingly stroking you between your legs (male or female, whatever you want), constantly touching you, constantly hugging you, constantly whispering not-so-innocent things to you. Doing all of that just to get you riled up, to get you hot and bothered so you’ll screw his brains out like he craves. When you finally snap (not negatively, though - no anger here, since you’re very well aware what Seokmin wants, it’s just fun to see him work for it) and tell him to wait for you in the bedroom, this is the position you’ll find him once you get there a few minutes later: legs spread, back bent, ass up in the air while you can clearly see his dick straining against his jeans. (Smart boy didn’t undress himself without you telling him to.) This is going to be a fun night. He’ll get everything he craves - and much more.

Or! This looks like the perfect pillow humping position if you ask me. Or maybe the perfect dry humping position? Either way, I bet he’d look gorgeous. We all know Seokmin’s got a great ass (and great thighs, though you can’t really see it here). Let’s go a classic route - Seokmin was humping a pillow while thinking about you. (Maybe you were gone for a few days?) You catch him during the act. Now, you could either make him continue and ruin his pants while humping the pillow, or you could have him sit on your lap and dry humping your thigh until he comes, still ruining his pants. Whichever route you choose - he will be embarrassed, he will try to hide his face, his moans will be high pitched, and he’ll cum rather quickly. The thought of you watching him getting off is just too much for him, so he cums in his pants, a lot. Additionally, if you tease him (anything from 'aww, my poor baby boy couldn’t wait for me to come home…’ to 'couldn’t be without my cock for a few days, could you, slut?’) it will make him cum embarrassingly fast, and will leave him in the perfect headspace for more - if that is the route you wish to take. Either way, you’ll have a beautiful moaning and whining baby boy on your hands, so have fun~

Or (and this is the final one, I promise) another direction - this is the perfect position for rimming. And as nice as first time rimming is (could probably write another 200 words about that), I love rimming paired with teasing. Giving him just a little bit, just enough to get him whining and begging for more, while you take your time, slowly building up the tension, always backing down when Seokmin gets too worked up for your liking. Keeping it up for a long time, maybe even hours. So long that Seokmin feels like he’s going to lose his mind if you don’t let him finally cum. So, you do. (He endured it for a long time.) And despite all expecations, he isn’t shouting or moaning. He isn’t making any sound at all. You pushed him so far he literally cannot make any sound, so far gone there’s nothing but pleasure in his world. Mouth hung open, eyes focused far away, body mostly slack, while his hips are still twitching. The epitome of fucked out bliss. (Or instead of teasing, you can just go to town and eat him out like there is no tomorrow, giving him a mind-numbingly fantastic orgasm which will have him screaming his voice hoarse. Or multiple, always good 😏)

I’m just- this pic is 😍😍🤩🤤🤤🤤😍🥺🤤😏😏😏😍😍🤤😩😩👏👏👏👏👏👏👌👌

Whew, I went off on a tangent. Hope I was able to articulate myself in a coherent manner.

If you’ll excuse me now - I really need to stop myself before I spam you with even more. Have a good one! ~🎧

[i-will-be-forever-yours]

Trust Issues

A/N This is my first writing...that has actually been posted so it might be pretty rough. anyway... feedback is welcome! thanks for reading

Warning: Angst, some language...umm idk what else

Summary: Shawn and Y/n have been married for a year and a half and he seems to be drifting. Will trust put this marriage at risk?

Word Count: 1.8k

posted 11-18-19

Don’t know who made this gif but if u did hmu so I can give you credit

Y/n breathed a sigh of relief when she walked into their two-story condo. The paparazzi decided that they would not leave her alone since the news of her marriage to Shawn Mendes, even eighteen months after the fact. For them it was like being a kid in a candy shop.

They had dated for just over two years when she found herself in front of a kneeling Shawn, velvet box in one hand. She was happy, to say the least, and let the tears flow as she nodded, being at a loss for words. However, prior to dating they had been friends since they were both young, and they couldn’t be happier. Their wedding was a romantic day one with only close friends and family. It was a special day, filled with laughter and tears of joy shared between the couple.

However, at just a year and six months of marriage, it was already hard. Of course, the first year was pure bliss, and they were very much newlyweds. However recently Shawn had been more distant and Y/n didn’t like it. For the better part of the last five years, they had been inseparable, but he seems to be drifting. Longer nights at the studio, early morning at the gym. Even when he was home, his mind wasn’t, and a part of Y/n felt like they were falling. She wasn’t sure where they were falling. Whether it be out of love, or falling deeper into confusion, she had no idea, but she knew that something needed to change.

Shawn was getting ready to go on tour again, but that was nothing new. They had been through a couple of his tours while they were friends and even while dating. However, something seemed off with this upcoming one.

Y/n tried to brush off the uneasy feeling that settled in her stomach when she thought of her husband, but it just wouldn’t go away. To take her mind off things she decided to scroll through her twitter feed. The first thing to pop up was a picture of her husband and Camila, with the caption saying “Shawn’s new lover?”. She knew not to believe rumors and tabloids and had even grown accustomed to these stories. However, with Shawn’s recent behavior, she wasn’t so sure. Her mind told her to just stop but nevertheless, she clicked on the link that was provided.

She didn’t expect to find a picture of her husband’s face nuzzling into the neck of Camila, while she laughed and smiled. There were a handful of pictures of the two holding hands and laughing. It reminded her of when they first started dating. Young and in love, only having eyes for each other. 

Pain and numbness spread throughout her chest at the thought that her husband no longer loved her. These thoughts were interrupted however by the sudden urge to throw up.

Jumping off the bed, she made a quick dash to the connected bathroom. She emptied the contents of her stomach and sat there on the bathroom floor. Her breathing was ragged and she kept dry heaving into the toilet, while trying to suppress the urge to cry.

She looked like a mess, with her hair in disarray and makeup running down her face from her shed tears. Her brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts, and she felt the sudden desire to sleep for hours. However, she picked herself off the floor to examine herself in the mirror. Wiping off the makeup and putting her hair in a messy bun she decided to get back on her phone. They had plans to go to dinner tonight, so y/n decided to call Shawn.

However, before the second ring, the call was denied. Deciding then to text him, she texted, “Hey honey, are we still on for dinner?” As she waited for his response she decided to check her calendar for her upcoming appointments and plans. While looking through it she realized something was missing. She had not had her period in two months, almost three.

She sat there on her bed in a nervous panic. What if she were pregnant? She hadn’t had sex with Shawn recently due to his busy schedule at that time, but based on the last time they had it would make sense. They were always so careful. This couldn’t be happening. Maybe it was just her body being irregular like it sometimes tended to be. The logical part of her brain denied these excuses though, because that’s what they were, excuses. 

She immediately put on some shoes and a hoodie and drove to the nearest drugstore to pick up some tests. She was lucky to make the trip there and back without anyone snapping any pictures. The downside to having a famous husband was the unwanted pictures, but she loved him, so she made it work.

Once back safely inside the master bathroom, she undid all three tests and took them. She waited the time and when her phone alarm went off she froze. What if she were pregnant and Shawn didn’t love her anymore?

No time to think about that. She had to be positive, maybe this was the jumpstart her marriage needed. Taking a deep breath she grabbed the tests. They all read POSITIVE. She sat there for nearly  five minutes before the waterworks started. Tears were streaming down her face, but there were so many emotions going on. She was ecstatic, scared, and angry. Ecstatic because she already felt so much love for this baby, but also scared to be a mom. However, she was angry at Shawn, angry that he didn’t reply and angry that he wasn’t here to share her joy. 

She moved back to their room and hid the tests in the closet in some old shoes. As she made it back into her room she saw a message from Shawn saying, “sorry love, can I cancel tonight? I’m just really busy here at the studio.”

She let out a sigh because she was hoping to talk to Shawn over dinner. It seems she’ll just be eating alone again as she has for the past couple weeks.

Y/n is lying in bed when she hears the slam of the door. Looking at the clock she read that it’s midnight. She waits until she hears the heavy footsteps of her husband before she decides to get up. However just as she’s about to she hears his hushed voice saying “No i don’t know how i will tell her. Well, she will just have to deal with it. I know, it’s just that she is so fucking clingy sometimes, always calling or asking to go to dinner or do this and that.” ... “yeah i will, okay goodnight.”

She decides to pretend to be asleep when he walks in. Usually Shawn takes care not to make noise, but tonight he is taking no care to be quiet. She can hear him move about the room until he finally goes into the connected bathroom to shower. Not until the water turns on does she let out her emotions. Tears yet again stream down her face as she thinks about what her husband was saying about her. In her misery, she doesn’t even hear the water turn off nor does she hear as Shawn comes back into the room until she hears his soft voice.

“Y/n, what’s wrong love? Why are you crying?” he asks while reaching out for her.

She turns around to see the concerned eyes of her husband. She almost gives in until she remembers the pictures and his earlier conversation. Instead she looks away and answers “I am fine Shawn, just go to bed.”

“No, tell me what’s the matter! Why are you crying y/n?”

She looks up at him and bluntly asks, “Do you still love me?”

He is a little taken back by her question but is quick to reassure her. “Of course I do, why are you asking?”

She has to scoff at this. “What do you expect me to believe when I see pictures of you and Camila laughing and looking in love? And that conversation earlier? hmm...I think your exact words were she’s so fucking clingy!” she spit out at him.

His confusion quickly slips into anger. “What do you mean “looking in love”? I kissed her cheek, y/n! That’s is! You should know how close we are by now and yes I said you were clingy because sometimes I just need some alone time...ever think about that huh! I thought relationships were supposed to be built on trust. I guess you don’t trust me. Is that what I’m hearing?” He yells.

Y/n is now backed up to the headboard is fear and shock. Not once in their years together has he blown up on her like this. Her hands immediately reach for her stomach, even though she isn’t showing. It is almost a comfort, even just finding out. A way to protect the unborn being that rest within her, relying on her to keep them safe.

“I don’t know what to believe! You don’t talk to me anymore! I love you, Shawn, please just talk to me.” She sobs in a defeated voice.

However, his anger just seems to build. “I need to get away from you sometimes! You never give me a break, and you always want to talk or cuddle or whatever shit it is.”

She is crying now and just wants this nightmare to be over. However, it has reached its climax. “Get the fuck out of my face y/n. I cannot handle this anymore. Just go stay somewhere else.”

In a state of shock, she sits there. Until she makes eye contact with Shawn and that’s when she knows he means it. She rushes out the door with her car keys in hand. Once she is driving away she finally breaks once again. With a hand on her still flat stomach, she drives. She has nowhere to go because all her family and friends are in the states. They had moved to Canada to be close to his side of the family and his hometown.

However, being distracted while driving is not good. Especially when she’s been on the road for over an hour and emotionally exhausted. She looks down to see a message from Shawn saying “sorry love, please come back home...we can talk when you get back” As she is reading this she doesn’t see the car that ran a red light and barrels into her car, causing her car to roll multiple times before coming to a halt when it came into contact it a pole..

All she can hear is the sound of her phone ringing with the picture of Shawn filling her screen. She soon hears sirens before she slips into the comfort of darkness that is pulling her deeper into the abyss.

[emptymasks]

sleep comfort for both of you // illinois x reader

So How About That Date? ( A Heist With Markiplier x Reader Collection [SFW])

Pairing: Illinois / Gender-Neutral Reader

Words: 1446

Rating: General Audiences

Read on Ao3

Tags: gender neutral reader | Comfort | Fluff and Hurt/Comfort | Hugs | Everyone Needs A Hug | Fluff | POV Second Person | Mention of insomnia

Notes (more notes at the end): credit and thank yous to people in the @yancy-support-group​ discord server (come and join us) for giving me lots of inspiration for this

Sleep sometimes felt like your worst enemy.

You'd just be laying there at the end of the day all ready to rest and your body would just say no, no sleep for you. No matter how busy or active you had been that day, sleep just wouldn't happen. You'd just lay there staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning in the hope your body would find a position it liked. Laying there for who knows how long and checking the clock to realise you'd been awake for hours at that point. You could often tell when it was going to happen after about the first five minutes of laying down. You couldn't really explain it, but even if you were tired you could feel when your body and brain were just not going to accept sleep that night.

And then on the nights where insomnia wasn't holding you hostage, you'd find yourself kept away by noises and rocks digging into your back in forest shelters and caves and deserts as you stuck by Illinois side. You'd be trying to get to sleep but the slightest wind or dripping or water could keep you awake.

Not Illinois though, that man could sleep anywhere. You supposed he was used to it by now after being on so many adventures and journeys and having to sleep in all sorts of conditions and weathers and climates. He wasn't a heavy sleeper though. Though you were incredibly easily disturbed whilst trying to fall asleep, not everything woke you up once you were actually asleep. It was probably for the best Illinois wasn't a very heavy sleeper as on more than one occasion you'd been awoken by him dragging you awake (and one time giving up and you woke up slung over his shoulders) as the cave ceiling decided it didn't like you anymore and started to rain in on you both.

So he wasn't a particularly heavy sleeper, but he could fall asleep in the tightest and most uncomfortable places, which is why it was such a surprise after laying inside in your nice, warm bed with him, it had been over an hour and you knew he still wasn't asleep. Of course he hadn't said anything, he liked acting all self-sufficient and independent. It had been wonderful to watch that act fade as he got more comfortable around you and you started spending more time together and for you to realise that deep down he's soft and does care (though he still has that bravado). He's just lost so many partners he tries to push people away nonchalantly so that there's no risk of anyone else getting hurt. But you made it clear you were staying and there's no way he could get rid of you now.

You rolled off your back and onto your side to face him. He didn't move, just kept laying there with his eyes closed. You knew he was awake, his body was too tense and rigid.

"Ow," His eyes shot open as you jabbed him in the waist. He blinked up at you while you glared down at him. "Alright darlin', you caught me. I'm not keeping you awake, am I?"

"Only thing that's keeping me awake is my stupid brain. But what's keeping you awake, huh? I've never seen you having problems falling asleep. You know if you're worried about anything you can tell me."

He smiled at how earnest you were being. "It's nothing, you just try and sleep."

"It's not nothing. If you're going to lecture me about how sleep is necessary then I'll fling that right back at you."

You stayed staring at him, eyes locked as if he was challenging you to drop it. He sighed.

"It's nothing, alright. I suppose I'm just not used to all this. I'm so used to sleeping outside I hadn't realised how quiet things can get indoors. The bed's softer than what I'm used to, but it's not too bad. It's the silence I think. It's like it's just itching under my skin. But don't you worry your pretty little head about it, you can get enough beauty sleep for the two of us." And of course he winked at the end.

"Hardly," You scoffed. "I don't think I'm doing any sleeping tonight. I'd offer to open the window to help if it wasn't freezing outside."

"Now you don't have to do that on account of me. Why don't you just lie back down next to my big, strong, warm body," You laugh and drop your head onto his shoulder. "And you can at least get yourself some rest."

It was a shame you couldn't open the window though. It might help him to at least be able to hear some sounds of wind or nature or... You felt like an idiot, why didn't you think about this before?

"Now where do you think you're scampering off too?" Illinois questioned as you crawled away from him and grabbed your phone from your bedside table. "You know those things don't help you sleep right? Those screens aren't any good for you."

You ignored his complaints as you broughtup Youtube on your phone. "We're not going to be looking at it, we're going to listen to it. Sometimes when I can't sleep and I'm on my own I play ASMR videos, whether it's someone talking or often just soundscapes and sound effects. The noise helps my brain focus on something that isn't my biggest worries and fears creeping into my head at the worst possible time, you know. So, I thought, there's lots of videos of forest sounds and cave sounds and nature sounds... all sorts of sounds really, and we could play one and maybe it would help?"

His brows furrowed and he looked confused for a moment before pondering whether to trust your phone.

"I'll put it face down on the table so they'll be no light and no looking at the screen," You said trying to convince him.

"Alright, if you think if might help. Can't hurt, I suppose."

You tried and not look too excited as you pulled up a video of cave sounds (water droplet effects and wind and ambience) and reached back over to put your phone back on the table, turning the volume up so he could hear it from the other side of the bed.

You laid back on your side, facing him, watching and studying him as he closed his eyes again. Ever so slowly his body started to relax into the mattress.

"So maybe your phone isn't completely evil."

"It's helping?!" You forced your voice quieter as you were too excited to be able to be helping him.

"Yeah, sapphire, it's helping," He murmured and you blushed at the pet name.

He seemed fine for a while before he began shuffling a little.

"Do you mind if I..." He glanced down at where his hand now was, stretched outwards towards you and hovering next to your own. "I just want to... know you're still here..."

Your heart ached. You were slowly working out how touch-starved he was and how long it had been for him since he'd last experienced physical affection. "Of course."

He slowly intertwined his fingers with yours, pulling your arm over his stomach as he settled your joined hands there. You nuzzled into his shoulder. His thumb stroked over the back of your hand and he chuckled.

"It's adorable how you're smaller than me," You looked up and he was just staring at your joined hands with the goofiest, softest grin on his face and he sighed and he just looked fucking dreamy and you could have sworn he was blushing.

You moved to place a kiss along his jaw. "Well we can't all have 'big, strong hands' like you," You lowered your voice in some poor attempted at imitating him and you both laughed. "I'm glad though..." You muttered. "That you're fine with me and all."

"Darlin' I am so much more than 'fine' with you, you know that."

"Yeah, I know."

"And it is helping, it seems to be at least. The noise and you, holding your hand like this... sort of embarrassing to say, but of course Illinois doesn't get embarrassed by anything, but... it's nice, grounding even."

"We should do this more often then," You said around a yawn that broke out of your mouth mid-sentence.

"We should... But for now, sleep, for both of us."

You mumbled some form of agreement into his shoulder. "G'night Illy." He would groan and complain about that nickname, but he'd never actually asked you to stop using it.

"Good night, sweetheart."

Tag list: @thehalfdemonwitchfromamestris @rats-this-username-is-taken​ @hamiltrash1411​ @line-viper​ (let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for my ahwm fics)

More notes: credit and thank yous to people in the yancy-support-group discord server (come and join us) for giving me lots of inspiration for this:(a collection of messages I took inspiration from)

Starship: Illinois: .....i didn't know you where this strong sapphire

Tinam: but Illinois exclusively using gemstones names as petnames with Y/N

Mars: Does Illinois hold Y/N's hand when he sleeps? I feel he'd do Illi loves that Y/N has smaller hands than him. He'll just be a blushing mess because "holy????? fuck??????? Whenever they hold hands he just has the biggest fucking heart eyes, the goofiest grin and can't stop sighingthank you all for saying it was okay for me to take these ideas and be inspired by them and write things based on them

 i know it's been a little while, but my mental health took a dive but now i'm working on getting myself better.

huge thank you to everyone who's been leaving comments and kudos and requests, it means a lot.

big thanks to starship in the yancy-support-group discord server for giving me most of my inspiration for this, more on that in the notes at the top of this chapter. 

and if you guys could please help me out and and reblog this promo post for the heist charms, stickers and pins i'm making and selling that would mean the world! there's also the link in there to my Etsy shop where you can buy them

also if you want to see the heist art i keep drawing you can follow me on instagram and twitter

[warehouse13pod]

Show Notes 108A Duped - Part 1

Down the rabbit hole we go, Agents!

Here they are! At long, long last—the show notes for 108 “Duped!”

These notes cover 108 “Duped” Part 1.

You can listen to it in this embedded player:

Or on Youtube:

Let’s jump right in! 

Miranda and I started this episode with some fun facts about ourselves. Mine was that I once got a pillow from Sargento that said “Sweet dreams are made of cheese,” because I complimented it online.

First of all, here’s the song it references.

Now, here are the tweets of how it happened. Here’s the Tweet I saw from Warehouse 13 co-creator and legendary TV writer/producer, Jane Espenson and the conversation that followed:

And at this very moment, that pillow is serving as a laptop cushion.

Now, onto the show.

This week’s writer appreciation focused on another writing team, Benjamin Raab and Deric A. Hughes who shared some awesome behind-the-scenes pix with us on twitter! After we released the episode, Ben tweeted at us and told us the crew let Ben and Deric cameo on every episode they wrote/produced. Here’s the pic from “Duped!” They were on the elevator with Pete!

We got that tweet and some good corrections and fun facts from Ben and Deric themselves! What up, dudes‽

Miranda says that we start the episode “en media res” which means “in the middle of things” in Latin. Here’s a link to what it means in terms of narrative storytelling.

Later, we also compared Myka’s dress in the pilot…

…to her dress in Duped.

Great work by the costuming/hair/makeup team on emphasizing all the subtle ways that Myka was Not Normal™

Because we love to give due credit, so, the people responsible are

Costuming: Joanne Hanson

Hair: Susan Exton-Stranks

Makeup: Marie Nardella

We also have a good laugh talking about how Pete miscategorizes Alice in Wonderland as Chick Lit.

Alice in Wonderland is obviously not Chick Lit (although there’s nothing wrong with Chick Lit).

This led us to a brief discussion of how Miranda’s sister trolls her by calling “Doctor Who” Mister Who. That already wasn’t accurate, but now it’s especially inaccurate as The Doctor is a woman! As a side note, I personally would buy a T-Shirt that said “Mister Who” on it just to make a laugh. Anyone else? Anyone?

Next up, Miranda noticed that Pete was wearing a North Canton, Ohio t-shirt and connected the dots that Eddie McClintock himself is from North Canton. Further proof that Eddie and Pete are essentially the same person.

Speaking of Eddie, this is also the episode where we learned that Eddie was voted the 82nd Sexiest Man Alive, according to TVBuddy. Alas, alack, the link to the list is now dead. So I can’t link it. I tried.

Next, we talked about how amazing Eddie is at doing an impersonation of Myka sticking her neck out when she’s mad.

In the Warehouse, an artifactified disco ball plays Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.”

Here’s that song:

When Act II starts we get some really orange lighting that plays right into our color theory. I couldn’t find a picture of that scene and Amazon won’t let me screenshot, but, in general, most cinematography of Myka in this episode is very orange. Here are a couple examples of how orange most things are that involve Alice in this episode:

Then we talked about how weird it was when Myka actually took one of Artie’s pastries.

Actual footage of my face when she took one:

Actual footage of my face when she took SECONDS:

Then we got the introduction of Gary and Jillian Whitman—this week’s red herring bad guys and focus of this week’s dual Actor’s Spotlight, courtesy of Miranda.

Gary was played by Niall Matter.

Miranda recommended watching the TV show he was on called The Best Years.

Jillian (my name-thief) was played by Erica Cerra.

Miranda noticed a subtle Walt Whitman reference and gave the dates of his life and Lewis Carroll’s/Charles Dodgson’s life.

Walt Whitman: 1819 - 1892

Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson: 1832 - 1898

There will be a lot more information about Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson in the show notes for Part 2 of this episode.

Then we talked about how Artie was a tad too aggressive in telling Claudia to “back off!” and how this all reminded us of a scene in The Importance of Being Earnest where two characters grumpily eat cakes. Miranda later specified that it reminded her of the scene where Jack and Algernon eat muffins. Meanwhile, it reminded me of the scene where Gwendolen and Cecily get passive-aggressive over whether tea should be enjoyed with bread and butter or with cake.

Here’s a snippet of the scene Miranda was thinking of:

 Algernon.  If it was my business, I wouldn’t talk about it.  [Begins to eat muffins.]  It is very vulgar to talk about one’s business.  Only people like stock-brokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties.

Jack.  How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out.  You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.

Algernon.  Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner.  The butter would probably get on my cuffs.  One should always eat muffins quite calmly.  It is the only way to eat them.

Jack.  I say it’s perfectly heartless your eating muffins at all, under the circumstances.

Here’s a snippet of the scene I was thinking of:

Cecily.  May I offer you some tea, Miss Fairfax?

Gwendolen.  [With elaborate politeness.]  Thank you.  [Aside.]  Detestable girl!  But I require tea!

Cecily.  [Sweetly.]  Sugar?

Gwendolen.  [Superciliously.]  No, thank you.  Sugar is not fashionable any more. [Cecily looks angrily at her, takes up the tongs and puts four lumps of sugar into the cup.]

Cecily.  [Severely.]  Cake or bread and butter?

Gwendolen.  [In a bored manner.]  Bread and butter, please.  Cake is rarely seen at the best houses nowadays.

Cecily.  [Cuts a very large slice of cake, and puts it on the tray.]  Hand that to Miss Fairfax.

[Merriman does so, and goes out with footman.  Gwendolen drinks the tea and makes a grimace.  Puts down cup at once, reaches out her hand to the bread and butter, looks at it, and finds it is cake.  Rises in indignation.]

Gwendolen.  You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked most distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake.  I am known for the gentleness of my disposition, and the extraordinary sweetness of my nature, but I warn you, Miss Cardew, you may go too far. 

Both of those scenes take place in Act II.

If you read nothing else in these show notes STOP AND WATCH THE FOLLOWING CLIP!

Here’s a clip from an early movie adaptation of The Importance of Being Earnest that features my favorite line delivery of anything ever:

Good luck ever looking at a handbag without thinking of that again.

While we’re on the subject, I played Cecily in the Importance of Being Earnest, so I’m legally obligated to share a couple photos of that as proof:

As a final note on the matter, you can read the entire play from project Gutenberg here (and I recommend that you do, because it’s one of my all-time faves.).

Later, Miranda and I wondered if the infinity tattoo on Myka’s ankle was Joanne Kelly’s or was something Alice did when they got to Vegas. I think someone tweeted at us about this awhile ago. If anyone has that info, I’ll update the show notes with that and credit to the Tweeter.

After that, we discussed Myka’s/Alice’s casual mention of Carson’s Rule of Linear Transfer and her assertion that it means “forced outcomes require tangency.” I posited that this rule is not a mathematic or scientific principle but rather a warehouse-specific rule. The only Carson’s Rule that Miranda and I could find when researching this was an unrelated rule about bandwidth. If you’re super into telecommunications, you can read more about Carson’s Banwidth Rule here.

Backing up a little bit in the episode, we discussed a little bit about the history of disco and disco clubs via exerpts from a written interview with Professor Carol Cooper.

She spoke with us about Studio 54, Vaughn Harper, and the roots of a Studio 54 laying in a black-owned club called Leviticus.

I didn’t mention it in the episode, but that makes the club in Empire (also named Leviticus) a truly nicely named homage to history. Bustle.com did a deep dive on that fact here.

Relatedly, when the disco ball drops earlier in the warehouse, Claudia does her own take on the Saturday Night Fever dance…

…then devastates Artie by incorrectly dating the Disco Era. Find approximate dates and more info here.

Then Miranda compared Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation and Tara Maclay from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

First of all, the episode of Buffy that we referenced was Season 4, Episode 16 “Who Are You?”

Second of all, we made a Buffy reference, so… You know… Take a shot.

Then we talked about Myka’s reaction to Pete referencing a rabbit’s foot as a lucky charm.

That was both a great reference to the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland…

…and a great reference to keychains from the 1990s and early 2000s. For those who don’t understand that reference, I was gonna link to some funny pictures from that era, but googling “rabbit’s foot” actually led me to down a sad path, so… like.. Not gonna share that.

Then we talked about how Pete saying “Kirk out

…was an improvised line that referenced Captain James T. Kirk on Star Trek: The Original Series and the communicators they used as well as to the flip phones from the era just before warehouse 13 premiered.

Then, both Ben Raab and Eddie McClintock explained that the reaction on set to Eddie saying “Kirk out!” looked something like this…

…until the network gave them the all-clear.

Winding things down for this episode, Miranda and I figured out what a Roulette table looked like:

…and appreciated Claudia’s knowledge of CIA laser mics. Turns out, laser microphones are really a thing!

Finally, for this week’s

~HEAVY THEMES~

…we talked about how off-putting Miranda and I found it when Alice (as Myka) drank both on the job and in front of Pete.

Not all people in recovery are triggered when people drink around them, but some are.

Here is an article from American Addiction Centers on how best to support an alcoholic and support their recovery.

If anyone has resources that they find helpful, we’re always happy to add them to these show notes or create a page devoted to resources for things discussed in our Heavy Themes sections. 

And, with that, we are done with Part 1!

 See you next time, Agents.