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fool-inthe-rain · 4 years ago

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Almost Lover

Sirius Black x Reader

HanahakiAU

Warnings: Throwing up, Angst, Blood, no Peter

wc: 1104

masterlist

a/n: Hey guys, this is a repost bc Tumblr removed this from the tags for some reason. Anyways this is my first fic ever lmk how you like it!

Hanahaki. The flower disease. The disease of Unrequited love. Symptoms include, but are not limited to, throwing up flowers, flowers growing in your lungs, breathing problems and, death. Treatments include, having the person you love fall in love with you or (the less desirable of the two) surgery that removes the flowers along with any and all romantic feelings for said person.

Professor Sprout once a year gave a sit down lecture to all fourth years about Hanahaki, causes, symptoms, treatments, and the history of. She would explain its rarity, how a case hasn't been recorded in over fifty years, and she wasn't wrong. The young girl's case hadn't been recorded, because she was not dead yet. Hanahaki plagued her lungs, her life, her throat, chest and mind. She would run to Myrtle’s bathroom during class when her chest would start to burn and her stomach would start to cramp. If Lily Evans was in class with her, she would follow her to the bathroom to hold back her hair and wipe the blood off her mouth after the petals were done clogging her throat.

“This shouldn’t be happening.” Lily would say to Y/N. Her head would be shaking as she repeated the words over and over again. “Why don’t you just tell him?”

You see, she couldn’t tell him, Sirius Black that is. She couldn’t tell him she was absolutely and unequivocally in love with him. She couldn’t tell him that she threw up flowers at just the mere thought of him. He was in love with another, Marlene McKinnon. Y/N didn’t blame him either, Marlene was beautiful, sweet, loyal everything he deserved. She couldn’t tell him that she had been in love with him since second year, since he had beat her at wizard chess one night in the common room during Christmas Holiday. She was killing herself for his happiness.

Y/N would help him with charms and in change he would help her with transfiguration. She would blush every time he complimented her affinity to charms, every time he would scoot his chair closer to her to get a better look at her papers she would begin to feel the burn in her chest and the ache in her heart. Their study sessions grew thin, they would meet once a month if lucky.

The flowers had been free flowing for three months now. They started as Lilacs, youthful innocence, then changed to Roses, love. Only a week ago they had changed from Snapdragons, desire, to Aconite, hatred. Hatred for herself no doubt, for what she thought of as stupidity and foolishness. She no longer showed up to the great hall for meals and she changed her classes to all the ones Sirius was not in. Not because she had hatred for him, but because one glance at the boy and she would be throwing up full flowers that had rooted themselves in her lungs. Even when she was not around him she would cough up petals wet with blood. Her eyes would burn with tears as she clawed at her throat trying to choke out the bright flowers.

Sirius had noticed right away something was wrong with her, they all had. Remus and James cornered Lily one day and had gotten her to tell them what was wrong. The answer to them was simple.

“Well why doesn’t she just tell him how she feels?” The pair asked almost simultaneously.

“She’s sacrificing herself for his happiness.” Lily would answer, her throat getting thick with tears.

Y/N knew Lily told Remus and James and she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind the constant questions or worried glances from them every time she cleared her throat. Remus didn’t mind staying with her late at night in the common room after she had been emptying the garden in her lungs for hours, and James didn’t mind keeping her distracted when Sirius was around so she wouldn’t see him.

Sirius however, minded. He minded the secret keeping, they way your cheeks had sunken in and they way your eyes were constantly welled up. He minded that one of his best friends no longer talked to him, but Marlene would come around and he would be distracted from thinking about what could be wrong.

So, another week went by. Another week of Remus rubbing her back and of James talking her head off. Another week of Lily holding back her hair and wiping the blood off her face. Another week with a Hogsmeade trip at the end of it, a trip that Y/N insisted her friends go on. She needed the rest she would say. So they went on the trip and her flowers changed. From Aconite, hatred, to Red Anemone’s, death and forsaken love. Forsaken by nobody but herself.

Lily, James, Remus and Sirius had all returned to the castle that Saturday night. Madame Pomfrey waiting by the entrance.

“Lily Evans, I need you to come with me.” She spoke in a hurried tone. Lily rushed ahead of Madame Pomfrey, the three boys chasing after them. Lily and Madame Pomfrey disappeared into the hospital, but Remus stopped Sirius before he could go in.

“There's something you need to know. Y/N is sick, she has Hanahaki.” Remus sputtered out as quickly as he could.

“What are you talking about? Why didn’t she tell me?” Sirius was getting angry now, this was dire and nobody had told him.

“She told us not to, but Sirius, it's you. She’s in love with you and she chose your happiness over her own. This was her choice.” James cut into the conversation, frantic eyes darting all over the place.

Sirius was fighting against Remus now, trying to get past the door.

“No, no I love her, I don’t love Marlene. It’s Y/N it's always been her! Let me in Remus!” His voice was getting hoarse through his tears and the quick realization and confession that had just been dumped on him. Remus and James moved to the side and Sirius pushed past the door.

“I LOVE YOU!” He yelled into the hospital. He saw her. He saw the bloodied flowers that lay in full bloom on her chest and around the floor. He saw Lily kneeling on the floor next to the bed, grasping her friend's hand in her own. Soft cries slipping past her lips.

“No, Oh God no, don’t tell me I was too late.” Sirius cried in distress, his hands gripping and pulling at his hair as he tried to make sense of it all.

She killed herself for his happiness. Or so she thought.

#Sirius Black #Sirius orion black #sirius black x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black angst #Harry Potter #hogwarts #hanahaki #harry potter imagine #harry potter angst #sirius black imagine #young!sirius black #thoughts from my grave

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politicallycorrectinnocentteen · 5 years ago

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The Art of Spanking

Title – The Art of Spanking – featuring a special tumblr user :p

Summary – Imogen is annoyed with Tom being so very timid on bed…and long story short everyone ends up at the door of a professional spanker.

Inspired from a prompt by Mars, “Who’s down for some murder? Any ILB grouping”

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“Since WHEN is there a professional Spanker in Pine Springs?” Tom cried in awkwardness, “AND WHAT IS A PROFESSIONAL SPANKER ANYWAY?!”

Imogen just hushed Tom with her brows furrowed, an annoyed look sketching at her face.

“You need to learn Tom.” She glared at him,” I am tired of having to constantly nag you go cross your limits.” With a puff, she continued, “And that’s why we are here. Today you either learn how to spank hard and properly, or you go home with a broken hand.”

“B-But I- “

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH THE BUTTOCKS LAST TIME!”

Tom gulped. Imogen’s mad. Really mad.

“Ok…that aside,” Tom tried to look away, his face red,” Why are THEY ALL here??” He accusingly pointed his finger at Parker, who coughed and looked at Vance as if he was the most interesting thing in the world (he actually was), his cheeks red after Imogen’s latest remark. To Vance’s other side was Danni, frowning and tapping her foot impatiently.

“Because she wants all of your lovey-dovey couple moments to be recorded,” said Vance as he started the recording of handycam and flashed Tom an amused grin.

“THIS IS NOT A LOVEY DOVEY COUPLE MOME- “

Tom abruptly stopped as he heard Imogen cough warningly. He gulped.

“I just asked Vance to come. Rest all tagged along.” Imogen shrugged. But Tom knew better. Tom knew that Imogen knew that if Parker and Danni come to know that Vance is coming then they both will come.

“Danni, seriously? I thought you had your shift at café”

“Girl code. Always be there for your sisters.” Danni smirked. Tom knew better. Its more of self-service than sister-service for her right now.

“And you Parker? You are the frickin Chief of Town-“

“Do you really want to be stuck alone with Imogen, and her constant support Danni without any support for yourself?”

No…Tom definitely did not want that. He looked at Imogen. The only way out seemed to convince her – but she seemed mad and last attempt did not go well at all. But he has to try one more time…

“If you want me to…learn,” Tom felt his face grow hot and sweat beads forming on his forehead, “I-I will learn…but why here.” He then points out to the huge canvas with a painting of Pink Peppercorn which was garlanded, the incense sticks burning around it filling the room with a weird odour.

“Does it look in any way like…like…” he just shakes his head and continues,” Who the heck worships a peppercorn?”

“Quiet child!” A stern voice came from inside, as a hooded lady in her fifties entered the room, carrying a bowl of boiling water.

“Back when there was famine all around, and humans could not eat food because it tasted so bland and tasteless…” she kept the bowl on the table and started stirring some white powder into it, “The Great Goddess Bhavf gave birth to bright pink peppercorns so that humans can cook, use pepper and hence survive on Earth.” She then turned to the Tom, “So, who is the disciple who seeks training here.”

Tom’s eye almost twitched on that, and he wouldn’t have waited for that lady to finish before running for the door. But Imogen’s face was stern. And Imogen made it very clear she’d skin him alive if he did not learn today.

Why are girls so frustrated due to bedroom life?

“Tis he, Lady Mars!” Imogen pointed at Tom.

Mars moved to Tom, and without warning grabbed his arm, pressing it hard.

“Hmmm….” She then moved her hands to his tummy and gave a hard pat.

“EXCUSE ME!” Tom shouted but was immediately hushed by Mars.

She then gave another hard pat to his back, then another to his thighs and finally to his chest.

“No abs, no biceps,” her gaze then fell below his tummy, “And no meat either.”

“WHAT THE – “

“Quiet son! We have no time to waste. You are in an extremely dire situation!” She then turned to the group, “So, who wishes to volunteer?”

“Me.” Imogen nodded, and was led to the wooden bed in front of them.

“Be on your all fours, hips raised upwards and back arched downwards. Yes, like that! It makes your butt seem bubblier Ho-Ho-Ho”

Parker and Tom faces flushed at that while Danni watched Imogen’s pose hawk-eyed, taking notes.

Mars then grabbed Tom and pulled him to Imogen’s buttocks.

“Now, we shall begin.” She said as she closed her eyes and folded her hands, deep in meditation.

…

“Can we just spank and get over with it- “

“QUIET CHILD!” Tom’s objections were immediately voiced down by her angry tone. “Do you think slapping the buttocks is that all spanking is?” She glared at him.

Well, it technically was…

“That’s why you have a lot to learn. Spanking…is a holy art known to many but mastered by few.”

She was back to her calm mode, and then looked at Imogen’s buttocks with her deep eyes.

“The first step is to sensualize this. Feel the passion in your partner’s buttocks with all your senses.”

“EXCUSE ME WHAT?!” Tom cried, and helplessly looked at Parker, Vance and Danni who merely looked away from him.

“First sense is sight.” Mars started. “Drink your partner’s buttocks with your eyes.”

Parker choked on his own saliva on hearing that. He definitely felt out of place there. How in the hundred worlds they all ended up there watching Tom be sensual with Imogen’s buttock? He tried to look away, and focussed his eyes on Vance, who seemed to be equally shaken up as well.

Poor Vance!

“You both!” Mars chided pointing towards Parker and Vance. “Your auras are killing everything! Why are you both so awkward about something so intimate and beautiful like spanking?” She asked.

“We-uh-We…actually--“

“Just imagine you doing this with your lover’s buttocks. You will be one with the auras then. And this will also save you multiple trips to me.”

As if we are EVER coming back here… Parker snarled in his mind. Just then he noticed that Danni has stepped back a few steps and is admiring Vance’s goods as all his attention is in recording the video.

He glared in her direction which was easily ignored. Ultimately giving into the temptation he also took a step back and-

“Good. Good.” Mar’s shout broke him from the trance, “I see you did not look away at all from your target.” She complimented Tom. “Remember, you can also remove the clothing, if any, in the bedroom.” She winked at him and Tom swore he’d be having multiple nightmares. Multiple.

“Now, the next sensation,” Mars successfully had everyone’s attention in the room, except Vance of course, “…is sound. Hear what your partner’s buttock wants!”

“Dafaq?” Tom blurted out loud. What is he to do? Shove an ear down Imogen’s butt-

“Spiritually! Hear it spiritually, of course.” Mars grinned evilly as her eyes suddenly lit up, “Though if you have any other related fetishes you can always satisfy them in the bedroom.” “She winked, “And let me take this opportunity to remind you that we have the best hotel deals around here. Ho ho ho ho ho!”

“Anyway,” Mars continued seeing no one paying attention to her promotion, “The next sensation is smell.”

As Vance recorded every second of Tom’s horrified expression after hearing that, Parker scooted closer to Vance and whispered, “What if she farts?” A muffled laughter attracted their attention and they noticed Danni, despite herself, laughing at Parker’s question as well.

“Parker…” Vance started,” You know that the handycam is recording everything. Imogen’s gonna be so so mad later when she watches this…”

“NO, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME- “

Danni’s laughter grew and now she wasn’t even trying to hide it.

“Poor Parker,” she exclaimed as she hugged her stomach.

“Cease with all this kidding at once!” Mars scolded the group, “Why do you think dogs smell the butts of their partners? And let me tell you, they enjoy a lot better sex life than some men have to offer… “she then trailed off. Returning back from her thoughts with an eye roll, she continued, “Anyway, the next sensation is…taste.”

Parker and Danni’s breath hitched as their not-so-innocent eyes were glued at a common desired object.

“Don’t get to excited child,” Mars put her hand on the shaking Tom, “all this you can practice in the bedroom, and let me remind you that we have the- “

“Most exclusive, cheapest and best deals of hotels. Thanks for that!” Danni completed her so the “matter” can proceed.

“Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!” Mars laughed, “Glad I helped.” She winked at Danni.

“The final sensation, Ahhh” she let out a wanting breath, “is touch.” She said. “Hit her a rock hits the ground after falling from a cliff.”

Tom, still trembling, barely manages to touch his hand on Imogen’s butt.

“SEE” Imogen started, “That is the source of all the problems! He, needs to release!”

“Yes child. Release.” Mars calmly said, “RELEASE THE WILD ANIMAL INSIDE YOU WHO WANTS TO MATE.” She screamed murder all of the sudden.

Any desire for mating was long extinguished from Tom’s head – all that remained was a vague awkward fear and desire to run. Before he could be back from his trance himself, Mars grabbed Tom’s hand, and-

THAP!

She forced Tom’s palm to hit Imogen’s butt with such speed that the entire room resounded with the echo of impact. Imogen immediately screamed, in a mix of pleasured pain which Tom swore made him hard in his pants. He gulped.

THAP!

This time Tom hit, a lot less impact that Mar’s practiced hand, but still enough to arouse Imogen.

“And that’d be $1000.” Mars smiled at Imogen, “A free room as well if you promise to tell your friends about how good it is here.” She smiled.

“Deal.” Imogen said, getting up and hitting her lips on Tom’s, like strong magnets stuck to each other, as she dragged him out of the door. The room was again filled with awkward silence, as Vance recorded till the last moment of them exiting the door. He was about to stop it, when-

“$1000 for just this?!” Parker started. “I just don’t understand! You guys saw Imogen? What fun is in getting spanked?!”

Spanking, Parker knew was very much fun as he himself imagined doing that to Vance more often than he ‘d ever admit to. But getting aroused by getting spanked was completely alien to him!

“There is a lot of fun…in getting spanked…” Danni coughed as she tried to answer.

Vance pretended to be a statue as he made a god-save-me look because internally he was so dead and so numb from the awkwardness that he stopped feeling anything fifty minutes ago.

“Care to explain?” Parker retorted.

“Do you really want to know?” Danni rolled her eyes.

“I do.” Parker said, firm and smug because he could see easy victory. There is no fun in getting spanked.

“Would you do anything for that?” Danni asked, challenging Parker.

“YES.” Parker muttered.

Suddenly, he is pulled by Mars and thrown off at the bed. She then pulled his butt up with an expert hand. Vance was about to ask that what in the actual hell was going on when-

“Your resolve moves me child.” Mars said, a dark and fiery look in her eyes. Parker looked at her with a confused look.

“You desire to know, and hence will know you shall!”

“Wha- “

THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP! THAP!

Danni’s eyes went wide in horror and Vance gulped, the handycam getting every moment of recording as Mars spanked Parker’s buttocks hard as if firing a Machine gun. When she is done, Parker is barely able to breath.

“Lets …get going.” Vance rushes to Parker’s side and picks him up from one arm. Danni supports him from other, a sympathetic look in her eye as they both drag Parker away from there.

“Don’t forget to come back kids! I can show you all how to have a good time! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!”

“Ok, is anyone down for some murder right now.” Parker gritted his teeth as Danni watched him with an amused look.

“DON’T FORGET TO RETURN KIDS! HO! HO! HO!”

Those three swore to never return.

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BONUS 1

“How are you feeling Parker?” Vance asked.

“It... feels burning. Its paining and I am pretty sure its all red with her handprints now…”

“A good lesson to keep your frickin mouth shut.” Danni spoke up.

Parker just ignored her and continued to groan in pain as he tried to walk – without getting any fabric of his jeans and underwear to touch his butt, because God forbid!

“Parker…how will you shit in morning now?” Danni suddenly asked, laughed at Parker’s expense.

“DANNI!” Vance chided.

“Vance, just think!” Danni says, and Vance finds himself giggling despite his resolve.

“Really guys?!” Parker huffed, “You know, you are an ass Danni Asturias!”

“Thankfully not your ass - because it got destroyed” She retorted and gave Vance a high five, they both laughing uncontrollably there while Parker just glared at her.

“Well, I think you are a strong independent man who can take care of himself.” Danni declared. “So why not you take your jeep and go take a rest home, while me and Vance stop by for some coffee?” She then giggled, “We’d invite you as well, but you can neither sit nor shit. “She broke into full laughter, and moved on grabbing Vance by the arm.

Parker gritted his teeth, and turned around rubbing his temples – only to find Mars looking at him from a distance with a rose struck between her teeth. She winked flirtatiously at him.

He shivered.

“VANCE! DANNI! DON’T LEAVE ME BEHIND PLEASE!!”

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Tom and Imogen were in bedroom, with Imogen setting up the DVD player.

“Why do we not just start the act? “Tom asked.

“This thing is supposed to turn you on! I specially asked Vance to record us for this reason.” Imogen giggled. She opened the video file in the player, and because she wanted to skip the initial boring part, she immediately jumped to the middle of the video-

-to the part where Parker is getting spanked…

She has a dafaq look on her face when-

“Imogen…” Tom starts behind her. She gulped, this is looking bad!

“Tom! Wait- “

“I AM SO MUCH DONE NOW!” he kicks off his slippers and trudges out of the door angrily. Imogen’s shock slowly turns into anger towards Vance.

Vance will pay for it.

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FAQ

Q1. Why Mars? Ans: It was her ask! :p Q2. Do you not fear for your life? What if Mars reads it? Ans: Dont worry! My trusted sources revealed that she is veryyy busy with RoDAW and hence very, very far behind in her reading list and hence I am safe and...I WILL LIVE TO WRITE ANOTHER DAY, DONT WORRY!

Tag List - @xxpoptartsxx2005 @thefanfictiongeek @ev-enx @marmolady @selectta @zeniamiii @watamidoing @pixieferry @save-me-the-last-dance @scrappysheep @strangerofbraidwood @choiceanon @bhavf @mkiss723 @pbmychoices @hotchocolatelovesyou @heatay74 @griselda1121 @walkerisbae @rayssa10-blog @sherjules @aurorasemery @crabs-are-vengeful-creatures @brightpinkpeppercorn @nighthunternik @flammingred @danniasturiass @strangelycami @fluffy-cat-whisper @politicallycorrectinnocentteen@drakethesunattuned

#it lives 2 #it lives series #it lives beneath #danni x mc #danni asturias #Parker Shaw #parker x mc #tom sato #tom x imogen #imogen wescott #Vance #fluff #comedy

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onemadhatt · 7 years ago

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Angus’ Surprise

Summary: Angus prepares a surprise for the IPRE crew.

TWs: Death, Body Horror (give me a heads up if I should tag other stuff, I’m new to this)

Word Count: 1,318

A/N: This is the first piece of fiction I have wrote in a long time. Shoutout to @wizardtwins for her Angus Angst posts which gave me the inspiration (specifically one anon). Super shoutout to stargirls from the Taz Fic Writers discord for helping me with grammar and proofing it (Her tumblr is: @gayipre !)

Angus was grinning ear to ear. Today was the day. After years of research and preparation, probing Barry and Lup, and keeping Kravitz and the rest of the IPRE in the dark, Angus was ready to begin the Ritual of Lichdom.

Angus had selected some old ruins away from civilization as the spot for his ascension. He wanted to be away from people so that the arcane energies wouldn’t be noticed, and no one could be hurt. He passed through the threshold of what he believed to be an old temple to a long-forgotten god and made his way to the broken altar to began his preparations.

First, he pulled out a goblet, gilded in gold and inlaid with a large fortune’s worth of enchanted gemstones. He gently placed it on the altar, and began to speak the words for the the incantation. As he spoke, the gems around the goblet glowed with magical energy. As the power of his spell increased, he removed a specially prepared potion from his bag and poured it into the enchanted goblet. The liquid, upon contact with the enchantments, began to glow with an eerie pale light. Arcane power began to swirl around him, kicking up dust as the tempo of the spell rapidly increased. In one fluid motion he reached back into his pack and pulled out a large emerald, which he cupped in two hands. He began speaking even faster and louder, his voice carrying a supernatural tremor. As he held the emerald, the gemstones began to discharge their energy into the liquid, creating a mesmerizing prismatic swirl. With a thunderous crescendo, Angus finished his spell and dropped the emerald into the arcane mixture.

Quickly the colors faded, and the liquid calmed. There was a beat, long enough for Angus to fear something was wrong. His thought had no time to complete, as the ritual finished and sent out a powerful arcane shockwave, knocking Angus off his feet and shattering what remained of the ancient altar. Angus rose slowly, thankful that his mage armor took the brunt of the blast, and looked upon the completed ritual. Despite the altar being destroyed, the goblet stayed, floating in place. Angus could sense the powerful energies keeping it aloft. Far above him was the emerald, removed from the concoction, now glowing and slowly rotating.

Nervously, Angus approached the goblet. Doubt began to fill him. What if he somehow messed up the ritual? What if he lost control? Stopping before the goblet, Angus took a deep breath to gather his resolve. He had spent so long making everything perfect. He’d checked every little thing at least fifty times. He had even found a way to ensure his lich robe was green. With renewed confidence, he reached out and grasped the goblet with both hands. He was going to be able to help so many more people with this power.

Angus drank the entire potion without a second thought. There was no taste, just the sensation of his entire mouth becoming frostburnt. He let go of his newly created phylactery, which simply hovered in place and grabbed his throat. The pain was unlike anything he had ever felt before. He could feel frost forming over his body. He could feel his body dying. Angus hadn’t expected this, but he tried to focus on his thoughts, his memories he had collected over the years. He thought of his grandpa, who gave him his first Caleb Cleveland books and fostered his lifelong passion for discovery.

But you never got to say your goodbye.

An unfamiliar voice pierced through the pain, assaulting Angus’ mind.

By the time you were finished with the incident on the Rockport Limited, he was already dead. After all he did for you, you left him alone.

It was true. After dealing with the authorities, Angus rushed to his grandpa’s side, but by then it was already too late. Angus was saddened, but knew his grandpa would be proud of him for catching a murderer. But did this voice know something he didn’t?

The emerald ceased to rotate and shone a brilliant beam of green energy onto Angus. The magical beam lifted him into the air and forced him into a crucifix position. The energy set his brain on fire, the pain somehow increasing. He tried again to focus on a positive memory; this time of Lucas Miller, whose curiosity and mind rivaled Angus’ own, and whose school Angus taught at. They shared many intellectually satisfying discussions, and…

He only cares about your contribution to his work.

The voice came again, somehow more familiar.

His school’s prestige increased with you, and he had so many breakthroughs with you at his side. What has he given you? A job you could have gotten on your own? Face it. He knows how much smarter you are than him, and he purposely holds you back so he can receive the glory.

The voice struck a nerve Angus didn’t know existed. He never really thought about it, but now that he had he realized it was all true. There were many times Angus dropped everything to help Lucas with a new theory, but he could not think of a time Lucas helped Angus on a case.

The emerald’s light increased in intensity. While the burning in his mind stayed, the cold began to subside. Angus was thankful at first, until he saw flakes float by. To his horror, he realized his skin was slowly being burnt away. The ashes drifted towards the emerald and began to orbit around it. The reality of what was happening struck Angus, and in desperation he thought of Lucretia. Lucretia had been Angus’ number one fan ever since he joined the Bureau of Balance. Lucretia would have the resolve to do this, and Angus sought to rely on that.

Ah, but that resolve cost her dearly.

Once again the voice eroded Angus’ will, only now Angus could almost place it.

She ripped the memories from the people she was closest too, then failed to rectify her mistakes and had to manipulate those same people she claimed to care about. And after all of that, she was still wrong.

How could he not have seen it before? Madame Director was never a bastion of strength and willpower. She simply had a superiority complex and time.

Angus was nothing but bones now, held together by necromantic energy. The emerald’s beam faded, and begun to spin again. This time it spun at a rapid pace, slowly absorbing the ash cloud. After all the pain and self-doubt, Angus could feel his mind begin to crack. In a desperate attempt to stay sane, he thought of his found family. Taako, who taught him magic. Magnus, who taught him true strength. Merle, who taught him compassion.

Taako, who stole and lied to you. Magnus, who was only ever nice to you out of pity. Merle, who treated you as an annoying child.

Angus was expecting the voice this time, but he didn’t expect to realize why it was so familiar.

Taako only taught you magic because you became useful to you. They never truly cared about you. All your life, people were only nice to you so they could use you. Manipulate you. You were a child, and they treated you like a tool. Now, you have the power to pay them back. To throw off the yoke of your so-called friends and make them your tools.

The voice was right. It had always been right. Angus never should have tried to doubt the voice. After all, it was his own.

Having absorbed all of Angus’ flesh, the emerald shattered into a fine dust. The dust swirled around Angus’ skeletal form, creating a deep green cloak and completing the transformation. He floated in the air a moment, before collecting his phylactery.

The others are going to be so surprised.

#the adventure zone balance #taz #taz spoilers #tw death #tw body horror #angus mcdonald #onemadhatt

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fourteenacross · 8 years ago

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2016 in writing

2016 in fic! This looks SO empty compared to past years, even if it's roughly the same amount of words! Hamilton: i saw the whole story unwind (132,888) Opening Break (3,531) Remote Capture (3,483) Not Your Average Bear! (1,835) Ghost Included (we hope) (2,941) but i won't go far away (12,577) the constellations aligned (10,004) the air grows cold around me and you (27,268) a way to hang the sun up in the sky (9,510) we'll have to muddle through somehow (8,513) Ficlets: Lazy Day (924) Cryptids (1,904) John's Instagram (1,443) Skeptic Refuted Fan Speculation (???)* Apocrypha (aka shit I wrote that takes place after the stuff in the main stories that may be disregarded/discarded as the next three stories develop): For Hire: Ghost Hunter (551) Three Wishes (2,446) Ouija Boards are NOT ALLOWED (1,139) Reality Show (1,538) Star Wars (2,441) X-Men Alternate Timeline Movies: Who Needs Sleep? (2,535) Fifty Dollars and First Impressions (3,574) Ficlets: Alex/Darwin Bookstore AU (343) Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Phryne/Jack Fake Married (588) Grand Total Fandoms: 3 Grand Total Stories: 23 Grand Total Word Count: 231,976* * I haven't written the transcription of this ficlet yet and I'm too lazy to do it right now, so it's not included in the total. Overall Thoughts: Well, this is a very different list than it's been for the past five years or so. The fandom switch aside, I didn't post any full stories until September, just a handful of tumblr ficlets. I also posted two things chapter-by-chapter, one as a WiP, which--wow, reminder that I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN, it's far too stressful! The bulk of the words are all in the same verse, and I'm not even counting the words that I wrote and haven't posted yet, jeez. This stupid universe. I simultaneously hate and love it. Writing an epic WiP in a new fandom was really rough. I'm ultimately thrilled with the finished product--waiting until it was all finished made me redraft over and over again until things fit together the way I wanted. It left me space to go back and seed things that I wanted to develop as I went...I really think the finished product is way better than it would have been if I'd rushed and posted it before it was done. That all being said, gosh, it was lonely. It was so, so lonely, when writing epics usually involves a lot of bouncing ideas off of people and letting them read and suggest as I draft and really digging into the process, etc. There were a couple of people who popped in and out, but life and other interests got in the way (which makes sense considering this went on for NINE MONTHS), and, man, I missed being able to text and IM people will story ideas at all hours and feel confident that they'd be interested in what I had to say. (For all the texting I do, I am actually super shy about it? I'm super nervous about initiating unless I'm 100% positive I won't be bothering the other person, which limits my texting confidence to like, my back-up bunnies and Erica.) Anyway, that's all to say that this year was a very different experience, fandom writing-wise, but I think I learned a lot in the process so...hooray?

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? This year I think my main goal was "FINISH PART ONE OF THE GHOSTHUNTERS" without a specific word count attached, so I succeeded in that part? Knowing me, I probably wanted to crack 300k at least, and while I'm sure I WROTE over 300k this year, what I actually published is about on par with the last couple years, so. NUMBER wise, I think I imagined I'd have a greater output vis-a-vis completed stories, but a lot of the shit I wrote was on the longer side, so. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Hm. Well, there's a lot more porn in the ghosthunters than is in most of the fic I've written, traditionally, but nothing really shocking. Most of it was ghosthunters words, so...yeah. I guess the Angel/Raven was sliiiightly a surprise because I figured if I had to step in and write some SM pinch-hits it would be all Charles/Erik stuff, but I really liked that story and I have shipped that pairing for many years so....not super a surprise. What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I loved a lot of the stories I wrote this year, because I'm super obsessed with myself. [[< -- I think I've kept that sentence in for the past few years because it remains true]] I really love most of the ghosthunters shit, but if I had to pick a favorite....idk, I'm torn between i saw the whole story unwind because it's so epic and took so long and I put so much into it and the constellations aligned, because it came so easily and I'm a total sap and it's a totally sappy story. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Sitting on the ghosthunters until the first part was complete was new. Like I said above, that kind of patience and planning was difficult, but I think the end product was much better for it. So what I learned is probably "sit on a story for a couple days after you finish." I've always tried to employ at least cursory beta readers and done read-throughs after finishing, but the slower approach does actually lead to a better product. IMAGINE THAT. My best story of this year: Best? Hm. It's hard to compare i saw the whole story unwind to anything else, given it's length and the breadth of subjects it covers, so I'd say probably that or but i won't go far away, which deals with a lot of intricate emotions and explanations. My most popular story of this year: Okay, see, I wrote two chaptered stories this year and chaptered stories totally throw off your stats. Hit counts, kudos count, comment count...all of that is inflated by repeatedly pushing those fics to the top of the tags and having people come back for each chapter and all of that. Still, I'm p sure that i saw the whole story unwind was the most popular story? And I think a lot of that can be attributed to the above facts and also to the fact that it's the oldest and the longest and the first in the series, but...I'm gonna go with it anyway. Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I don't know that any of them are! Again, probably because most of them are in the same series, but...yeah, I'm pretty happy with the response to everything. I remember thinking at the time that there was something weird going on with the hit count for but i won't go far away because the hits-to-kudos ratio was WAY off. There were way too many hits accumulating in the first couple days it was up, like, way more than usual, even though kudos were accumulating at the correct rate? It was strange. And I did feel like that one got slightly less attention than some of the others, but that might be a mind trick based on that weirdly inflated hit count. Most fun story to write: Hm, I got a kick out of doing the twitter ficlet, and I wrote the constellations aligned in basically one sitting, so. Story with the single sexiest moment: This is one of the few years I have a lot to choose from. I think John's slow, intoxicated seduction in the constellations aligned probably wins that award. Definitely sexier than the sweet and kind of goofy sex scene in i saw the whole story unwind or the contemplative one in but i won't go far away. Story with the single sweetest moment: Hmmmmmmmm. "Sweet" is kind of my whole deal, and I like to think there's a lot of sweetness in my stories overall. I'm going to choose i saw the whole story unwind for this one and pin the sweetest moment in question as either Alex and John driving up to Peekskill or the two of them talking after Alex's nightmare. Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: Nothing really. Nothing cracky for me this year. Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I mean, this whole series has been a lesson in picking apart these characters and seeing how they tick. So. Hardest story to write: i saw the whole story unwind, for sure. Jesus, it took me forever to finish and I was entirely despairing during parts of it. Biggest Disappointment: Just that I didn't finish more, I think. Biggest Surprise: People actually getting so into the ghosthunters. I honestly didn't expect anyone to read any of these stories and to have a tiny group of people who seem to eagerly await each new part...it really warms my heart and makes me so happy. I can't overstate who wonderfully surprising that has been. Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I think there are a lot of places where I project pretty hard on John, or maybe it's that I use a lot of my own experiences to color some of his? We don't actually have much in common besides being gay and being depressed, and I'm older and (I hope) wiser, but, you know, mental illness is a deep well to mine for content. I'd also say I mine a lot of my Jersey shit for Herc and that Molly is the closest thing this series has to a Mary Sue. I'm not into science or math, but I am a cheerfully sarcastic fat brunette lesbian who spends a lot of time whining "why don't girls like me?" and as Opinions about pizza. Plans for the next year: I'm gonna say 300k published words next year. I'd like to post at least the next three ghosthunters anchor stories, maybe venture outside ghosthunters for Hamilton related shit? Pick up my MG novel again. Set a writing schedule and try to stick to it. Leave more comments. Try to put some more good in the world, because it's gonna be a shitty, shitty year.

#2016 #stuff about me #writing is hard

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