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commanderfreddy · 2 years ago

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the man I am now

(a very long look back at the year)

2022 marks my 10th year on tumblr, my 25th year of life, and the ending of a strange, dark, 33-month winter that I entered too young and emerge from feeling entirely too old.

At the beginning of this year, my dad noticed that he was having some cognitive problems, assuming they were side-effects of the medication he took to manage his oesophageal cancer, and he asked me to move back home to be his carer, since my brother worked and studied full-time and I had just quit my job.

Only now, in retrospect, do I know that there is no world, anywhere in all of possibility, where I said no. It wasn't a choice, no matter how I agonised over it. I got to work and to complaining right away. I handled it about as gracelessly as any human being can do anything.

The week before I dragged all my crap across the city back to my family home, dad had a fall, and went to the emergency room. There, he was diagnosed with a brain tumour.

I think I gave up on my father more times than I can count. So many nights, waiting in an empty house, imagining his hospital bed growing cold.

Because no matter how much good news he wrung from his test results, no matter the optimism his doctors showed, no matter the plans we so doggedly laid, we had been here before.

My mother died on March 25th, 2020, only three months after being diagnosed with lung cancer.

When dad passed, we knew what crematorium to use, where his ashes would join hers in the memorial garden. All of that had been sealed in stone from the moment of his diagnosis. Because no matter how many medical professionals tried to reassure us that my mother's death had been an anomaly, a tragedy, a hideous confluence of malignance - this was our story. We knew every line, every movement, every futile rise and fall, and we played our parts as precisely as ever.

Everyone feels guilty when someone they love dies. I was sure of my role in his death before he even stopped breathing. I can play the innocent, say I was fumbling blindly through a period of life no one ever wants to imagine, let alone live through, but I know better. I knew what I was doing, when I suggested he try a week in the hospice to see how he found it, and so did he. No matter how I phrased it as a temporary stay, an introduction to the facility, he knew what was happening. When we loaded him into the patient transport to the palliative care hospice, he told me he was beginning the first day of the last stage of his life. I told him not to think like that. As though I didn't know. As though there was ever any other path.

Never once this year did I want him to die. Never once this year did I doubt he would.

I remember thinking that if he died before mid-November, my brother could still go on his Europe holiday. And he did, and he did. I remember thinking if I applied for a course in the US, I'd have something to do next year. And I did and I do.

It's not that I feel like I manifested his death personally. Perhaps, if I had gone a different kind of mad, if I had thrown myself at the bounds of this story with all my strength, I might have lucked into something. Stumbled across some clinical trial that might have done something, anything, even if only alleviate the mystery pain in his left hand that remained until he died. But I didn't. I knew, with the same certainty that I was alive, that he was going to die. And so he did.

Do I feel guilty for capitulating to that certainty? For challenging it only superficially, in a useless and often insulting attempt to cheer my dad up? Do I feel guilty for my inability to imagine another story, not even another ending, just a different middle, a final year of life where I didn't set my house on fucking fire, where we didn't snap at each other as the walls closed in, where he made that stupid train, where I did something, anything, except sit in my room and grow less and less solid, until the only ghost left in the house was me?

I don't know what I feel.

Something was my fault. A lot of things were - arguments, oversleeping, buying the wrong brand of rice, the fire (my god my god. All my furniture was thrown out. I live in a room of strange new things, objects that had never been breathed on by my mother. One bedroom in a four room house. Full and empty and full and empty). But something else was my fault, too. Something More.

I think I'll spend my life looking for it, this thing that burdens me, that overweighs my mind and crushes memories beneath its inscrutable mass.

If I knew what it was, I would understand, then. I'd understand it all, who I am, where I came from, where I'm going, what happened to me, who my parents were - everything, all of it will become clear as soon as I realise what it is I did wrong.

What I could have done differently.

I remember, perhaps a day or two before he went into hospice, waking him up from a fitful and unpleasant nap so he could have dinner. He spoke of an argument with me, and I don't even know what he accused me of saying, just that it was so awful, so directly drawn from the very worst parts of my psyche, that I could focus on nothing but reassuring him that it had just been a dream. But the other conversation he recalled, he could not be convinced was a dream. I wasn't there for his last meeting with his oncologist, doing my best to "give him privacy" (slack off) ((hide from reality)), but it was a month or two before he passed. And my dad felt then, with his transfer from oncology to palliative care, that his doctor had given up on him.

I hated to hear him say that, the bitterness and fear in his voice. I hated to hear him say that, knowing I had given up on him first.

But these are the people we are. We are crushed by the weight of life to the shape it has taken so far, anticipating it to continue in much the same way.

Dad had a few genuine high moments of optimism last year, when it was just oesophageal cancer, when it was one foe, as yet asymptomatic, that could be grappled with, one-on-one. But after the brain cancer diagnosis, we couldn't keep the darkness at bay.

My father wasn't a religious man. His mind was his soul. This was the one death he couldn't bear to die.

And so it was the only death that could take him.

He stayed, right until the very end. It was him that I saw, behind eyes he struggled to move, trying to force breath past lips that could not move.

He was so afraid of being Mum. Mum, who, for the last two? - three? - days of her existence, could not respond. Who could be woken, but not to a world she could see or interact with. Whose eyes darted, vague and furious, as she failed to meet mine. She frightened me then, the wild, lost look on her face. And she frightened Dad, who begged me, in his last week of life, to reassure him that he did not look like that. That he was not leaving me in such an ugly procession.

That he could ask was proof enough. And then his voice deserted him, and it was only with his careful, pleading eyes that he could beg.

What a relief it was when I showed him the pictures I took of the lunar eclipse of the night before and he could respond, in genuine, true reaction, surprise and wonder in his raising eyebrows, the widening of his eyelids.

That night they called me in to say goodbye.

I ran 3 kilometres uphill in the dark, wearing a jacket that seemed to float around me, like I weighed nothing, like I was nothing, like I was flying, furling out into the night, moving at last without the burden of breath or need for fuel, simply going as fast as possibly could.

Not fast enough.

When my mother died I was eating a bowl of spaghetti.

When my father died I was waiting for the lights to change across from the train station.

Life ends in much the same manner in which it is lived.

Weeks in the hospital, watching, wondering, knowing, and still I couldn't be there to say goodbye.

Perhaps that's it, the source of the guilt. Perhaps it's just another thing, another instant of existence to regret. Something you can't change.

A choice that isn't a choice at all.

I died this year.

We all die every year: a hundred tiny deaths as strangers forget our faces, as someone stops ordering their tea the way you first recommended it, as you ignore a text from someone for the last time, and your lives forever diverge. No doubt I died this way as many times as usual. But I have, I feel, become something else, too.

Something I don't particularly like, with so many of the same old flaws and failings - oversleeping, failing to think of others, walking in that hunched way that hurts my shoulders, but something new all the same.

When I first started this blog, I was fourteen years old. I was so loud, and I took up all the wrong space, moving in an awkward, unintentionally exaggerated manner, and annoying everyone for it.

Now I go days without speaking. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth and takes effort to dislodge. Something about my body language makes me hard to see, and I'll stand at a shop counter for eons, always surprising the cashier when they turn around, no inkling that anyone was there. There are few other situations beyond shopping where I will interact with someone.

On Christmas Eve I delivered a box of chocolates to my neighbours, and with their combined six extroverted bodies, was shepherded inside to sit in their sunroom and share a platter of fruit with them. It was such a strange and alien bliss, cold grapes in summer, the gentle licks from their dog, the awkward bend of my legs upon the floorboards as I asked my neighbour what she was studying, only to be overcome with an inexplicable gratitude when she said nursing.

But some of this is old, too. You can go back, dig through my archives, my personal posts, my plaintive adolescent agonies that persist, no matter how I try to articulate them better, that feel just as wretched as when I was fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, eternal, undying.

I've always felt other, separate. It scares me to have proof of it. What then, what now? How do I tether myself to the belief that I am human, that I must be, if only because there is nothing else I could be? I'm no longer anyone's child.

I talked about this with my mother once, saying it was funny that we still call people's offspring their "children" even when they're grown, when they're old, and she said that I'd always be her baby, even when I was old and she was even older. Well I'm young and she's gone and I'll never be anyone's baby again.

I feel the need to disclaim that I'm never gonna kill myself. For a variety of reasons, but lately, most of all, because dying is so fucking difficult. I don't really trust anyone to get it right for me. And that's the scariest part about death. No one dies alone. No matter how long it takes to run up that steepest of hills. It's a process, a long drawn out one, even when the death is sudden and an anomaly to oncologists everywhere. The death begins at a point I can't find, and never really ends. Not even when you're forgotten - you're still dead then and you're still dying, as the universe dies around you. Beyond nights in hospitals and days in legal offices, you die over and over, constantly, in everyone's minds, in everyone's lives, as they become people you can't know, needing help you will never be able to provide, and still and still they carry you with them, your dusk-tossed dust long gone while the spectre of the person you once were to them hammers away in their heart.

I'm not gonna kill myself. I don't think I'm qualified to die.

But I'm not sure I can figure out how to be born again, either.

"Das Ei ist die Welt. Wer geboren werden will, muss eine Welt zerstören" [The egg is the world. Whoever wishes to be born must destroy a world]. I don't know what world I have left to destroy.

I have become strange to myself, to the lonely teenager that first settled into this digital space, even as I have failed to ease any of his pains. I never was cut out to be a carer. I'm forgetting how to care at all. I'm becoming thin (my doctor's worried about my diet but I can't remember to eat) and thinner (sometimes I feel like you can see the world through me, transparent and just as frangible as a window, too). I won't let myself die. But that's all I have. I can no longer think in future tense, not specifically, not beyond the pretentious, sweeping eternalisms I declare in an attempt to hitch myself to something bigger than myself.

Nothing is big enough. Multiplying by zero always gets you to the same place.

I set out to write a summary of the year, to try and get my head around this epicentre of my existence. I'm not sure what I ended up with, or where I am. Certainly not how to finish.

My bad.

When I write fiction, I've had the most success by starting with an ending, and building the most satisfying leadup I can to make it worthwhile. Probably should have done that here.

Then again, this year has shown me all too well what happens when you decide on the ending before your story is done.

#personal #death and dying talk #fred says a thing #this started out as a kind of #2022 year in review #Thing.#but there's really only one thing i can talk about #one framework for the life i have lived for the past 12 months #i really did try to find a hopeful note to end on #but sometimes ambiguity is all the comfort you can get #still its there #in the unknowns and unknowables #potential for something #ill be ok #i dont know how to be anything else

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mcd-whispersofdestiny · 29 days ago

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Diaries: Whispers of Destiny | Part 1 - Chapter 5

★★★ Ⅴ ★★★

The moon was high in the sky lighting up the paths in the night. Dante and Grace had been walking for hours and we still hadn't come anywhere near Gapalan. They were at least another day or two away on foot, maybe a day if they had horses.

"Grace... I'm tried..." Dante yawned as they walked. Grace sighed. as much as she wanted to, she knew they couldn't sleep out in the open like this, it was way to dangerous. If they could find a village then maybe they could rest there, but Grace doubted they were anywhere near a village at this point. "I know Dante, so am I. We will rest as soon as we find somewhere safe to," Grace assured her younger brother while pulling him into a hug.

Grace prayed that they could find somewhere to sleep for the night. If not a village, maybe some sort of cave that they could take shelter in. But if they did find a village, they could ask for directions for the rest of the way to Gapalan and maybe even horses so they could get there faster.

The two walked for a little longer until they saw candle lights up ahead. They kept walking closer until realising that they had come across a village. "Come on, let's see if there is somewhere we can sleep in this village," Grace said to Dante and he nodded in agreement as the two aproached the village gates where two guards stood.

"Excuse me," Grace began. "Our village was attacked so we needed to leave and we were wondering if we could stay here for the night? We promise that we will leave straight away, in the morning, we just need somewhere to rest for now." The two guards glanced at each other before shaking their heads. "I'm sorry, you cannot. This village has already got too many people and there is no room for anymore."

Dante's face fell and Grace knew they needed somewhere to stay. Therefore, she was determined to keep trying. "Just for one night, please," Grace begged but again, the guards shook their heads. Grace sighed. She knew that they weren't going to change their minds so she might as well ask for directions. "Well can you at least tell us the was to the village of Gapalan?"

"You're travelling the whole way to Gapalan?" One guard asked, raising an eyebrow. Grace nodded. "You will never make it there in one night, not even a day on foot," the other guard added.

"We know that, we were just looking for a village to stay the night in and we would be on our way tomorrow," Dante explained, hoping that maybe the guards would change their minds. The guards looked at each other before sighing. "You may stay in the guard quarters with us for tonight and we will talk to the lord tomorrow about lending you both a horse and a map of the region," the first guard said.

Grace smiled before looking down at her younger brother who was also beaming. "Thank you so much, this is a big help." The first guard nodded before opening the gates and leading the two to the guard quarters.

★★★

Dante and Grace lay in two single beds in the headquarters. The two were extremely grateful for the guards for allowing them to stay the night. Dante had fallen asleep straight away. Meanwhile, Grace stared at the ceiling with her bloodshot eyes, unable to sleep.

Although she was extremely tired, her eyes just wouldn't close, not allowing her to sleep. The night's events kept replaying in her head. The pain and fear kept coming back to her, the guilt of not being able to protect her father and mother from her evil older brother.

Grace sighed before glancing down at her left wrist where she wore her mother's charm bracelet. Dante had found it when he went back to their house to get their things before leaving Boboros. He gave it to Grace to remind her of their mother while he kept their father's old pocket watch to remind him of their father.

A tear ran down Grace's cheek as she looked down at her charm bracelet. Grace missed her mother and felt so guilty that she wasn't able to protect her. He mother was amazing in so many ways and Grace was truly going to miss her. She also missed her father so much. She will always remember that he died trying to protect her and Dante. Grace loved her parents with all her heart, she can't imagine what life will be like without them.

But one thing she is happy about, is that she didn't loose her best friend. Her younger brother, Dante. Grace vowed to always protect Dante from this day on, no matter what. She wasn't going to loose what left she had of her family, no matter what.

★★★

The next morning, Dante and Grace met with the Lord. He agreed to give them two horses and also gave them a map of Tu'la. "Thank you so much, this is a huge help," Grace thanked him and he could only smile. The guards escorted the two siblings to the gate before saying their goodbyes as they watched the two set off on their journey to Gapalan.

Dante and Grace travelled for the next day and a half before they arrived in Gapalan. Their journey was tiring, but it was well worth it. Gapalan was a beautiful village. Happy, cheerfully people filled the streets, children played and danced around to music made by other villagers, many people were caught in long and happy conversations with another person, overall it was just wonderful.

"How are we meant to find Uncle Derek's house?" Dante asked his older sister. Although the village was wonderful, it was also huge. It was the main village of Tu'la and also the village where the king of Tu'la lived. Grace thought for a moment, "We can ask some people."

Dante nodded as Grace walked over to a woman with beautiful blonde hair. "Excuse me?" I asked, politely. "Do you know where Derek Brosna lives?"

The woman shook her heard but gave us a warm smile. "I'm afraid I don't. Maybe someone else in the village might? I'm sorry for not being much help." I nodded and gave the woman a warm smile, "Don't worry about it, thank you for the help you did give us though."

The two asked a few more people until they found someone who knew where he lived. The man lead the siblings to their uncle's house and the two thanked him before he left. Grace knocked on the door and took a step back as a man with black hair opened it. "Hello, how can I he-" he stopped as he looked at his two visitors, before realising who they were.

"Dante? Grace? What are you two doing here? Where's your parents? And Gene?" He questioned, rather panicked as looking around behind them, only to see that there was no one else but the two youngest Brosna children. Tears filled Dante's eyes as their uncle mentioned their parents. Derek noticed and he invited the two inside.

Inside, Dante and Grace told their uncle everything that happened, the night before last. The two siblings shed many tears as they told the story before their uncle allowed them to live with him. "Now, Grace come with me and let me see that arm. Dante, make yourself at home," Derek said as he lead Grace into the kitchen.

Derek was the doctor of Gapalan and was one of the best ones in Tu'la. Therefore, Grace rusted him. Grace pulled up the sleeve of her purple leather jacket and Derek looked at the wound. The wound had began to close and a blackish bruise-like scar was staring to appear around it.

"Oh my," Derek iasped when he saw it. "I have never seen this bad of a wound before." He touched the wound, causing Grace to whince from the pain. "There is nothing I can do for this now," he began. "The wound has started to close up which means there is nothing I can do apart from covering it."

Derek turned around and took a roll of bandages off of the cabinet before turning back to his only niece. Grace held up her arm as her uncle wrapped the bandages around it. "There. I'm afraid that's the best I can do," he said. "Now, you go find your brother and make yourselves at home. You can live here with me for as long as you would like."

Grace gave her uncle a warm smile and thanked him before going to find Dante. Grace was happy that she and her brother had somewhere safe to live for the next few years. She loved her uncle, and was glad to stay with him.

#mcd laurance #aphmau #minecraft diaries #mystreet #fanfiction #laurance zavhl #laurance zvahl #mystreet laurance #minecraft diaries laurance #aphmau laurance

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titanicfreija · 2 years ago

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~good old violence, by the way

She wanted her guns. She wanted her guns so bad, she wanted her guns, and they were in her dad's ship in the fucking hangar who knew where--

Saris swept in circles and changed pace randomly as she sprinted away from the manor, feet pounding through the tall grass as she set a course for the cove. Ages away, hiding spots, cover, maybe--

The trip down the cliffs was way too slow, but she was out of line of sight and line of fire. She scrambled along the narrow ledges on boots made for marble floors. And she still didn't have a gun.

The first shot that hit was to the back of her shoulder, through to the top of her chest, and she staggered but kept her footing. That was probably going to kill her all by itself. They were still shooting but missed.

The run was going to kill her, she was certain of it. Another shot hit her calf and sent her tumbling down the cliffs. She barrel rolled as best she could, continuing into the mists.

"You. Idiot," gasped a voice. The sun was behind a cliff, she could keep that to her left...

"I thought there was more than one!"

"Why?!"

Saris wondered briefly if she was at least distracting these two from every else. Too late for her family. Too late for a lot of the family. Too late. They were dead already.

She was dying, too.

"There you are," growled one, and Saris felt a fist close on her coat. A second joined it and together they dragged her back to the cliffs. They didn't want to get lost in the mist, she guessed.

Saris could hardly feel her legs anymore, but she kept her knees after they dropped her. She had been here every day the last month--even wounded and staggering, she followed the jagged path up the cliff. She wanted to die somewhere nice, dammit.

I'm going to die.

I did good things. I helped.

I don't want to die.

Too bad.

The path got worse before it got better. A fall wouldn't kill them but it would finish her. She had to watch the horizon to manage the vertigo. It was a nice view of the sun falling over the clouds.

She reached the cove and stopped, knowing it was over and still wanting to die somewhere nice. She waited for the gunshot wounds to do the job, listening to her heart slow.

The sluggish push quickened when Saris heard her pursuants on their way after her. They must have fallen down the cliff at some point to take that long. Saris hoped they gave up.

She closed her hand on a sharp stone, dragged herself to her feet, and hid behind a rock formation.

One ran right into her. She slammed her improvised weapon into his head with all her might, shattering the rock, smashing the helmet, and gouging his forehead. The other pursuant lunged and tackled Saris, taking her down.

The woman's fist met her cheek so hard she saw stars. Her vision flooded with red light as her assailant struck again and again. Her teeth cut the inside of her cheek and lips, her eyes swelled, her vision filled with spots and stars. Her mouth filled with blood.

The other kicked at Saris's legs, apparently having recovered. He tried to stomp on her hip but couldn't get a good shot with his partner in the way.

The purple woman got up and kicked Saris's back, driving her a foot along the rocks on her side. She tried to crawl away but one kicked her shoulder, knocking her sprawling. The other stepped on her arm to push her flat.

One stomped on her head until it bounced. Stars flashed red and black in her vision and the pain grew so much that she found herself unable to feel it anymore, taken out of her body by the sheer overwhelm. The other one was stomping on her hands and arms, moving on to the next part only when they were satisfied with the crunching.

Her ribs broke. She wasn't sure when. Her legs never did but it didn't matter, she wasn't going anywhere.

She couldn't be sure when they stopped. The pain no longer faded between strikes, she could hardly move, and her vision was blurry in the eye that worked.

Her broken hands trembled as she rocked side to side. She couldn't even tell if she was on her back or her belly. Slowly, she got her elbows under her, trying with all her might just to sit up.

Her murderers dropped an enormous boulder on her torso. The resultant crunch and squeal of pain satisfied their sadism, and they nodded to one another before walking off.

She couldn't cry out. She couldn't cry. She couldn't breathe. It hurt. She lay in a tiny cove on the cliffside of the Dreaming City, broken and bloody, crushed. She was alone. Her parents and sisters were probably dead. She would never find out, and soon she would be too dead to care.

Maybe someone got lucky.

She pushed the rock with her elbow and wiggled until it rolled off her, but breathing didn't get any easier. A cough wracked her body, striking like lightning. She tried to cry out, producing only a weak moan.

She wanted to worry about her family but didn't have the strength. The cold ache was winning. She missed Earth. Her heart was the only sound. Breathing didn't hurt because she couldn't anymore. She had a good time. She loved. Was loved. Helped.

Say goodbye, Sarah. Then rest.

Goodbye, Sarah. Ha ha.

Her working eye locked on the moonrise, foggy and obscured. The clouds shimmered, shining beneath dancing starlight, warm glows enveloping them all, ripples of brilliant pastel colors stretching into the infinite beyond.

Nice.

Another dramatic miniseries

Sarah's Death (long) <- you are here

Curious (medium)

Search (long)

Uncover (medium)

Insisting (medium)

Learn (medium)

Move on (long)

Every Second (short)

#destiny 2 #d2 #ocs #writing #freija #scribble #pre-freija

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nofoxgivcn · 2 months ago

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He wished it was him. She didn't deserve it, Judy was the last person that deserved to be lost out here, confused, worried death was right around the corner, the days dragging on the same way they had for him but without a roof over her head. Nick, I was so scared. It felt like a dagger straight to his heart, a pain strong enough it was nauseating. Nick had never knew how strongly he could hurt for someone else. When all of those shifters went missing, he couldn't put himself in their loved one's shoes, not the way Judy had been able to. He didn't have that sort of empathy, he couldn't care so deeply about anyone but himself. He had never had someone to miss, not really. He had never had anyone to worry about.

The tears she thumbed away were replaced just as quickly, allowing himself to feel to he full extent of not just his own emotions, his guilt and his pain, but theirs too. The fear that mut have been crippling, the hope like a light slowly dimming, just waiting for it to fade out completely. And for Judy, of all people, the most glass-half-full kind of person he'd ever met. The world hadn't ruined them yet. Nuzzling against her touch, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to focus on the mental image of them walking circles, frightened, calling out for him as far out of his mind as possible. Reminding himself that she was here now. She was with him now.

"You got hurt," he whispered, forcing the words out around the lump in his throat, "and I wasn't there." That was reason enough to be sorry. He was supposed to protect them, he was supposed to carry the weight of it all; he was already scarred.

He was supposed to be the one comforting them too, now, but their next words only brought a fresh wave of tears. To mean so much to someone, to be the one thing that kept them hanging on. Nick had always wondered what that must be like. He was the apple of his mother's eye, only because he had to be, he was all that she had. And maybe that was the case for Judy as well, but it was different. She had chosen him, in spite of all of his flaws and his stubbornness and all of the reasons he had been written off before, even when he had tried to push her away, even when he was a smart ass. And he had chose her. Somewhere along the way, she had wormed her way right into his heart, and he would have to rip it out to rid himself of her.

There was a time when Nick wondered what would happen if the gates to Evermore ever magically opened up. If they were given the choice to leave, Judy would take it, she would follow the path right back to the world they knew in spite of all of its flaws as well... and she would make it a better place. And for awhile, a part of him, a very strong part, considered staying in this world without her, where people didn't scowl at his name or turn the other way when they saw him coming, a world where he had the chance to be someone he wanted to be. But he knew now, after just sixty days of that life staring right at him — he would follow them anywhere. He would rather be his flawed self with them than a version that he didn't hate with anyone else.

He wasn't sure how long he held them, silently, his arms just tight enough to avoid choking them out, reminding himself over and over again that she was here now. He would never let her get hurt again. He would never let her be lost, afraid. Nick would turn over every single rock in this town, he would shatter the walls of this dimension, he would do whatever it would take... for both of their sakes.

Some time after the tears stopped, he managed to convince himself to pull back again, only because he realized she must be hungry. She must want to get home, to take a shower, change her clothes, eat something, curl up on a warm, soft bed that wasn't made of the forest floor. "You think you were lost without me?" He asked, a hint of a smile finally tugging at his lips, the guilt not gone by any means... but soothed. He knew that Judy would be okay with him — in a situation where she wasn't stuck and in need of rescue, anyway. Her life would be brilliant, she would achieve her dreams and become the best version of herself, but him? Nick was realizing he needed them a hell of a lot more than he had initially thought.

"I missed you so goddamn much you had me eating carrots, Carrots."

at his question, their lower lip quivered, feeling his shame before he truly voiced it laced within the syllables of what he asked her. her gaze fell, drifting over to the bush, a chill clambering up her spine like her vertebrate were no more than ladder rungs. air felt scarce again, and she sipped it through pursed lips, shaking her head. " i was but . . . i wasn't. i don't — i don't know where i was. just — it was all woods. woods that went on for miles and miles i. . . " her chin dropped to her sternum, face scrunching, as if voicing what she had experienced was as painful as what she endured itself. " i was beginning to feel like it'd never end. that'd i'd die alone out there. i was — fuck, nick, i was so scared." a curse, brash and foreign on her tongue, wielded like a spear to the memories that began to come flooding back like a tidal wave. her hands moved to his shoulders, fisting the material of his shirt between dirt-stained fingers, her entire frame shuddering with each starved breath she took in — sips turning to gulps turning to gasps.

his apology forced her head to whip up, guilt swimming in the water that filled her eyes, and she saw it — she saw the blame he cast upon himself. the droop of his brows, the downward curve of his lips, the way his tears were falling as silent as the world around them; pain swelling behind her ribs and forcing them outwards, pressing against the flesh that encased them. " nick — no . . . no no no , " judy pleaded, moving to brush the tears from his face but her hands couldn't move fast enough to catch them all, shaking her head. hair clung to her cheeks, drinking in the moisture that dampened them, moving to cup his face once more and force him to hold her gaze.

" you have nothing to be sorry for , " words came out creaking, cracking at the ends — not in an effort to dampen their truth but to almost emphasize it. " nothing. i — i know you wouldn't have let me stay out here on purpose. it isn't . . . it isn't your fault, nicholas. it isn't. i promise. " judy felt their own sobs crawling back up her throat, just when they had thought they had finally been quelled. . . she hiccuped, stroking her thumbs across his cheeks, feeling the heat of his form beneath her and knowing it to be as solid as stone. " i'm sorry i made you worry so much. i . . . i really tried to find you. i tried everything. the woods they just — " she sucked in a breath, moving a hand from his face only to wipe the back of it across her own, smearing scarlet and salt like oil and water across hollowed cheeks. " they never ended. the trees never stopped. i walked in circles and — and the only thing that kept me going was finding you." trying to get it together, judy sniffed, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around his neck once more, wrapping him in a tight hug to the point where if she were even half as strong as he was, she'd strangle him. " i missed you so much. i was so lost without you."

#& chats.#& judy hopps.#owowow #ow!#i did not proof read this nonsense so

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theofficialpeanutgallery · 5 years ago

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Oh and have an assortment of random other Hollow Knight doodles too

Boss fights, amiright?

Bg Pale King: “are ya winning, son?” Bc I saw someone else do that and it was too funny

Someone posted a BUNCH of Monarch Wing refs and I’m so grateful.

Couple more from refs. And my commentary about the cloak on that last one lol.

Again, in case you can’t read my handwriting, it says “ya done goofed”

#hollow knight #little ghost #pale king #white palace #grimm #i tried path of pain the other day and I never got ANYWHERE #so i was like ‘nope i’m out’ and forked off to fight the pantheon #i’ve died to god tamer so many times now #never even got to her in the colleseum of fools #no wait i did #i was at 1 heart and she killed me instantly lmao #my art #my doodles

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whxre-bxby · 2 years ago

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Austin! Elvis x reader

(female reader)

I watched the Elvis movie and HOLY SHITTTT IT WAS AMAZING! I BALLED MY EYES OUT AND FELL HEAD OVER HEELS FOR ELVIS. FUCK HE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY

Warnings: NSFW, violence, angst, mature language, SMUT, FLUFF

I poured my heart and soul into this chapter. Enjoy all the emotions and feelings.

I worked in the circus as a performer, showing off tricks to the audience that they had never seen before so that we would get some extra tips from them on their way out. I was able to walk the tightrope but what made if special was that this rope was soaked in alcohol and halfway through, I would light it on fire with the candle I managed to balance on my head. The audience would gasp every time. Every single time. And I would get extra cash and compliments every time. I wore ballet shoes on the rope, which were wrapped in this material the owner bought, to prevent my feet from burning. I had to still dunk them into a pot of iced water after every show because the heat hurt. But not enough to burn my skin, only redden it. It was worth the money after all.

Other than that (my unique signature move) I was able to pull off the 'Fire Breather' trick and climb under and in front of a horse while it was galloping at full speed.

Let's just say, I was the reason this circus was getting all the money it was currently. My boss knew it and my coworkers too. No one doubted it or was jealous, they admired it. But my boss still liked to punish me and threaten me with him firing me when an accident would occur.

Once, while I was on the burning tight rope, someone threw something at me. That disrupted my concentration and my balance, causing me to fall forward and hold on to the rope so that I wouldn't fall. But my hands burned and the fire burned off a few layers of skin, so I fell and hurt my ankle.

I then sat in the changing room with the others who had helped me feel better by bringing me icepacks and wrapping up my burned hands with bandages. When my boss came in, he started yelling because the accident prohibited him from making the usual amount of money in one day. I just took it, refusing to argue. I was in too much pain and shock to deal with him.

After that, he worked me like a horse. Maybe even worse. During rehearsals, he went 10 times harder. I once overheard someone use the term 'like a hardcore Russian ballerina'. A ballerina whose coach was so strict, they would expect them to perform a jump twirl, land in a puddle and not create a single ripple to the surface. To land soft enough to not disturb the stillness of the water at all. That was basically what was happening to me now.

He thought a shock collar would do the trick but once he tried it on me the first time, it was so brutal even he decided I needed milder punishment. He now had a slingshot and struck sensitive areas like ankles, neck, stomach, etc.

Anyway, one day, which was meant to be like any other, turned out to be special. The owner gathered up everyone and told us Elvis Presley would be arriving today. They wanted to focus on making music here and more. He didn't tell us everything, but that itself was amazing enough.

Today, my boss and I rehearsed again. I didn't have a choice. I couldn't find a job anywhere else. I was on the tightrope which was now set even higher than before and he was yelling commands and poses at me again. Mid-session I heard cheering outside the tent and when I turned my head I got a pebble in the cheek. I immediately returned my gaze to the rope and when he asked, I swung once around it.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tent curtain open and daylight rushed in, blinding me for a few moments. I wondered who it was because no one is allowed in during rehearsals. The blinding light made me miss a step of the trick and I held on to the rope for dear life, trying to stay as still as possible. My legs were tense and stood straight in the air while I tried not to lose balance, standing upside down on this pathetically high and thin rope.

Luckily with the distraction, my boss missed that slight mistake and barked out the next order. Once I finished it, I stayed still again, hair in my face as I listened to what was to come next. Instead of him giving me another trick I heard, "Ah, Mr Presley! You finally made it. How was the trip?". My eyes widened and I fought the urge to look up at them.

"Please, call me Elvis. The whole 'Mr' thing makes me feel too important." I heard another voice chuckle. Holy shit, Elvis. He was right there.

"What's going on here?" Elvis asked, and then I heard my boss sigh.

"She's rehearsing for tonight's show. But she isn't capable of much." My boss said. Bullshit. If he were on a rope even 3 times as thick he would fall in the first second and land flattened out like a pancake. Correction, the rope would tear in half first and then he would fall.

"I'm starting to think I should get rid of you, Y/StageN" he said, loud enough for me to hear. I looked up at him with bloodshot eyes, hair covering most of my view while I managed to keep my pose. I exhaled dramatically and a hair strand flew up. There he was, threatening me like that again. He did this so often, you would think I would be used to it by now, but no. It irritates me a little bit more every time. And today, I was fed up.

Next to him, I saw three men. Two dressed in typical suits must be bodyguards and one man in a pink suit. Elvis. I knew if I looked at him for too long, I would fall (for him) off the rope so I looked back down. But in those few seconds of me looking up, we exchanged eye contact and it felt magical. His eyes looked at me in a kind way. I could tell he admired what I was doing. He was admiring me. After all, I wasn't wearing much, because training had me sweating. But I bet I looked awful now anyways...

"Three!" My boss barked and I complied. He numbered all the tricks once because he refused to call out their long names. I stood up and cartwheeled along the rope.

"Seven!" I twirled and jumped from one spot to another.

"Four!" I let my upper body drop and performed a handstand, splitting my legs once I managed to stay still. Then I heard a loud car horn right outside the tent and it made me jump. One of my hands slipped off the rope but I quickly managed to place it back before I fell. However, my boss saw that and I got a pebble in my right wrist. It stung and I bit my lip, as not to make any noise. I heard someone gasp when he did that. It was one of Elvis's bodyguards.

"Distractions can't break your concentration." My boss said again.

"What was that for?" I heard Elvis ask. He seemed surprised and confused, wondering what hell-hole he had just entered. He understood I slipped a little but to him, my boss' move was completely unnecessary.

My boss ignored it. "Five!" he yelled and I let go with my right hand, putting the area he struck in my mouth. I held myself up with only my left arm and I felt it start to shake. It would be cruel if he would wait for me to collapse. Especially because I knew I could only last another minute.

Then I felt a sudden sting in my left wrist and I yelped, but somehow managed to keep my position. I looked up at him confused. I didn't mess anything up, why did he do that?

He knew exactly why I was looking at him and grinned. "Just making sure you can hold yourself, dear." he spoke as if nothing happened. Dear. It made me want to throw up.

"Now, get up and get the torch." he demanded and I did. Why did he want the torch and not the candle? I rubbed both my wrists while going to fetch the torch. I returned with it already lit. When I looked at him next, he just nodded because he knew I knew what to do. Elvis on the other hand looked frightened by the entire situation. In his shoes, any normal person would be.

I slowly bent down, arms stretched and legs tense and I lit the rope on fire. While on fire, the rope was able to hold about 10 minutes before being burnt to crisp. I stood mid-flame, my legs warming up again, waiting for the next command. I looked at him and saw him grinning mischievously to himself.

Elvis and his men on the other hand looked terrified. Elvis' wide eyes were fixated on my feet. He must be wondering how I'm not getting burned. My boss' facial expression made me worry. What was he planning? Then, he roughly spat out my last trick.

"Now, Y/StageN. Listen carefully." he said. The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up, and even though I stood on fire, I shivered. Worrying about what he was going to say.

"Three and Four, combined." I looked at him, eyes wide and completely speechless. I knew what he wanted. He must be feeling extra cruel today because I've never had to touch the burning rope with my hands. I think he wants them to be weak for tonight's show so that I would fall in front of everyone and he would be able to threaten me with losing my job again. The others in the room didn't know the commands so they just waited for me to do something.

I must have been thinking too long because I saw my boss pick up the slingshot again as a warning. I bit the insides of my cheeks and took a deep breath. I couldn't wait for this to be over.

I stood straight and then dropped my upper body again, performing a perfect cartwheel. It was too quick for the fire to hurt my hands. But then I landed on the rope, hands holding it and feet once again in the air. The fire was right under my face and I did my best to avoid my hair getting caught in it. My hands hurt. But it felt like a cold sting. A pain so icy it burned. And after a few seconds, I started to tremble and wobble, whining out pleads. I tried swapping hands every few seconds but it didn't help. I couldn't hold myself up anymore and I let go of the rope, letting myself drop to the floor.

The pain I felt when I hit the ground was much less than what I had just experienced. I lay there, behind the stage, clasping my hands to my chest. When I looked down I saw how red they were. You could see the flesh on my palms, but they weren't black yet.

I heard my boss sigh in disappointment. "I told you, nothing good will ever become of her."

After that, I heard ringing in my ears and every noise faded out. In the distance, I heard them argue but I was too blown away to be able to hear what they were saying. All I managed to do was lift myself off stage and go hide in the changing rooms. Two of my friends/collegues were there and I saw how they were happily chatting away. Probably discussing Elvis.

When they heard the door open they turned around and once they saw me, all sweaty, worn out and face covered in tears they ran to help me. Once they sat me down, they asked if I was alright and what happened. I was drowning in their questions but all I had to do was unwrap my arms from my waist and show them my hands. There was a silence.

"Did he make you do that?" Fred asked. I met both Fred and Angelina at the circus and we three bonded immediately. Especially because the main topic is boys. And Fred is gay, so he fits right in.

I nodded and that was all they needed to answer their many questions. I don't quite remember every detail but I know they hugged me and helped take care of my hands. This had never happened before. It was never this bad. But when it was, I was always the one to get it. He didn't abuse anyone the way he did me. And no one knew what to do about it.

I sat there, my heavy eyes closing from time to time while my hands were being tugged at from multiple sides. More and more people were coming in and I heard more gasps and sorry faces. It was all too much. I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to be around that man any longer. Fred then picked me up with Angelina and they brought me outside into the daylight. It was close to sunset already. They brought me to my usual recovering area. It was behind all the caravans and tents, under a small roof. There was a hanging mat between two trees and I was placed on it carefully. Tied to my hands were ice packs, which almost couldn't be seen behind the absurd amount of bandages.

They both left after a while, to give me some quiet. They too had to rehearse for tonight.

I turned my head to the side and gazed at the landscape. It looked like a desert, with no plants or water. Just never ending dead land. How I wished I could run away. But if my boss would see me running, he would unleash both his dogs and they would sink their teeth into my legs and tug back and forth, holding me down until he would come to get me. I've seen it happen before. And guess what? He has threatened me with that too.

Suddenly I heard footsteps. They didn't echo though. I just heard the sand move in a walking pattern. I turned back around and saw the man in the pink suit again. He was looking around and when his gaze landed on me, he jogged up to where I was laying.

"H- hey. Y/StageN was it? Oh god- are you alright?" he spoke, his eyes scanning my body in a panicked matter. He looked like an angel.

"Yeah, couldn't be better..." I muttered. He looked at me apologetically. I could tell he didn't know how to respond to that. "Sorry. I'm in a mood." I mumble.

"Understandable," he replies. "My name is Elvis by the way, Elvis Presley."

I liked that he introduced himself and didn't expect everyone to know him.

"You don't say." I reply slyly, grinning through my pain. He smiled back.

"Can I uhm- get you anything, darling?" He asked. 'Darling'. I liked that nickname.

"No, it's alright. Thank you. I have everything here."

"Listen, Y/StageN, I think-" Elvis started to say, but I interrupted him.

"Y/N."

"Huh?"

"My real name is Y/N. Y/StageN is just a stage name I use." I smiled. He slowly nodded his head, running my real name over and over in his mind.

"I like that even more. It sounds beautiful." He smiles and puts his hands in his pockets.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask if that happens a lot. Because I have an offer for you, which I really hope you will take up on." He asked me, looking down at his feet. A small hair strand fell out of place and it made me want to reach up and put it back.

"Depends on what you mean. The part where he slingshots small rocks at me? Yeah, that's his way of correcting me. But he never made me touch the rope with my hands before." I say, looking away from him and up into the sky, my breathing settling with the minute.

He was about to ask me another question but I already knew the answer.

"My feet don't burn, there's protective material inside my shoes. That's how I manage to pull it off every time." I tell him, a small smile forming on my lips again. I turned to face him again and saw how he was processing all the information. I must have actually answered his question.

"Look, I don't know much 'bout you, that man or this place. But I don't know if this is the right place for you to stay. If I understood correctly, he only mistreats you? Well, if ya want to, I can uh- I can help you get out of here. " he said, stretching his arm out at the offer.

I felt my eyes light up with hope. "Really? You can do that?" I asked.

"Well, I know a place. Me and my band are on the road right now, so it ain't big, but it'll do. You can come with us." he said. "I'll treat you better than anyone in this world." Elvis said, hands on his hips and winked at me.

I felt my cheeks redden. I don't have to ask for permission to leave. I don't belong to my boss. And now, I can actually leave without worrying about being mauled by his dogs. And fuck tonight's show. I was sick of him using me as his money income.

I sat up abruptly, startling the man in front of me. "If that's really okay with you, I would love to go. Please don't leave me here. I can't stand it anymore." I spoke, sounding more desperate by the second. He crouched down to me and took one of my hands in his, seeming to not mind the bandages.

"Darling Y/N, it would be my pleasure to rescue you from this hell hole." he replied, in his charming tone, lightly squeezing my hand for reassurance. I wanted to scream in happiness.

"Can I hug you? Please?" I ask quickly. He seems confused.

"C'mere love." he mumbles softly and embraces me. I hug him tighter than I've ever hugged anyone before and bury my face into the crook of his neck. The next thing I know, I'm crying again.

He pulls away after hearing my first sob. "What's going on? Did I hurt you? Do you not want to leave? I can- "

"Happy tears Elvis. Happy tears." I whisper wiping them away and smiling.

Elvis cups my cheek and helps wipe away a new tear. I melt into his soft hands immediately. It feels like a pillow, given the fact that they are bigger than mine. "Let's go pack your bags, darling." He whispers, kissing my forehead and helping me up.

I told Fred and Angelina that I was going. They were upset but knew it would be worse if I stayed. Both of them, helped me pack my bags. Well one bag, two sets of clothes and a hairbrush. That was all that belonged to me. That was what I came here with, in the first place. I said my goodbyes in the locker rooms and made sure to avoid my boss. If I were to see him, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. It would just cause a bigger scene, and I didn't want that. The worst-case scenario I have in mind is him letting the dogs loose on me or even on Elvis before we reach the cars. Or even getting his gun. He isn't predictable, which scares me more.

I sneak out of the tent, my bag hanging from my shoulder and find Elvis waiting. When he sees me he smiles again and then his gaze drops to my bag.

"Are all your things in there?" He asks me in disbelief. I nod. "We will fix that when we're back in town." He answered with a grin and I couldn't help but smile too.

"We need to hurry. The guests for the show arrive soon. My boss likes to welcome them all personally." I tell him, constantly looking around to see if anyone had spotted us. The sun was almost completely hidden behind the dry land now. The lanterns outside the tent were lit and the moon helped us see.

Elvis nodded, then put his arm around my shoulder and we jogged to the five parked cars. Well, three cars, one bus and one caravan. We got into the second one, which was a pink Cadillac. I've seen him on posters with it. It must belong to him. Elvis ran ahead, unlocked it and opened the door for me. All the others in the other cars looked out of their windows and a few smiled and waved at me. I couldn't believe I was leaving this place. Then suddenly, I heard what I had been dreading to hear.

"Y/StageN? Y/StageN!!"

A pause.

"Y/N L/N!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

It was my boss. Elvis quickly helped me inside, closed my door and then ran to the driver's side of the car. He whistled at the others and in an instant, all the car lights were on and motors were starting.

The lights gave away where we were and I saw my boss, standing mid-camp. The headlights were blinding him. I heard him shout and swear as he slowly made his way to the cars. Luckily the first car started to drive and we followed right behind it.

As we did a loop, I looked out of the window and locked eyes with the man I hated for the past seven years. He looked at me, shock in his eyes. When we were distancing ourselves from him, I turned around and saw him running, screaming and throwing a tantrum.

"Jesus Christ, that man is crazy." Elvis says, not believing the scene he is watching in his mirror.

I can't even answer him, I feel sick to my stomach. I can't believe I'm finally leaving. After all these years of dreaming about who would come to get me, I realised this was the best possible outcome.

Elvis noticed my silence and glanced over a few times while trying to keep his gaze on the road.

"Hey, now don't you worry honey. You're safe here. You don't ever have to go back." he spoke in the softest most comforting voice and my body immediately started to relax once I realised he was there again. "I promise." he added and I smiled. This felt unreal.

"Thank you." I whispered in a stuttering and quivering voice. It almost sounded like a squeak. For a second I wasn't sure if he had even heard me, but when he looked and me again with his kind smile, I knew he did.

"No need honey. I could never leave a pretty little thing like you there. It'd kill me." He said. I knew he was joking around a little to help brighten my mood, but when he called me that, my tummy erupted in butterflies. I returned his smile and then Elvis carefully cupped my cheek and stroked it a few times, before returning his attention to the road ahead.

I didn't even know where we were going or what the plan was. But I knew I was in good hands, and that was all that mattered to me. And without even noticing it, I fell asleep.

I felt the cool night wind glide over my bare legs. When my eyes fluttered open, I saw I was still in my seat and the door was open. I also discovered Elvis' suit laying over my torso. He must have covered me up when he realised I was asleep. I saw a few men outside the car, discussing a few things and I was able to recognize Elvis. He was one of the taller ones. We were outside a building with a huge neon pink sign saying "MOTEL". The M was flickering on and off, irritating my eyes.

I turned my head away and looked behind the steering wheel. It was almost 2 am. Wow, I must have slept long.

The breeze makes goosebumps rise on the skin of my legs and I curl up into a ball, trying to cover all of me with the pink suit which smelled like expensive cologne. As tired as I was, I felt so safe and happy. And it made me want to thank Elvis for the rest of my life.

I closed my eyes for what was about 10 minutes but felt like 10 seconds. Then I heard Elvis' voice next to me and saw him standing outside the car, at my door. He had his hands in the pockets of his black trousers and was staring down at me in awe. I blinked a few times, having to let my eyes adjust to the flickering light of that goddamn sign again.

"I'm glad you're comfortable Y/N. But I bet you, your bed will be even better." He says, not too loud to disturb me, but loud enough so that I can hear him over the chatter of his bandmates and others. "C'mon, let's go."

"Thank you for the jacket." I mumble, offering it back to him.

"You can keep it for now," Elvis says, wrapping it around me again. "The air is cool out here."

I was about to step out of the car, but Elvis leaning inside stopped my movements. He carefully slid a hand under the back of my knees and one behind my back. Once he had a good grip, he lifted me up with ease and carried me out of the car. I still had my bag around me so that didn't get lost. Elvis then pushed the car door closed with his hip and started to carry my sleepy self to the building.

"You don't have to carry me. I'm too heavy, really-" I start to say, not wanting him to feel obliged as a gentleman to carry me and then suffer under my weight.

"Shhh. You're speaking nonsense honey, you're tired. Let me do this for you." He says and I can feel the vibration of his voice in his chest before he speaks it. I just simply nod and snuggle closer against him.

What I didn't know was that Elvis knew the carrying was unnecessary. He just really wanted to show me what a gentleman he is and used it as an excuse to have me closer to him. When I relaxed against him and held onto his arm, he felt a sense of joy and pride in his chest. He wished at this moment that he wasn't in a secluded area in a state, the name of which he forgot. He wanted to walk the streets of Vegas or any other busy city or town and show off that he was the one providing you with this much comfort.

Then again, he was pleased that there were no crowds forming around him. No people snapping pictures right in his face or asking him questions about who you were, why you were with him etc. They would probably assume he was taking you to bed.

Elvis did this a lot on tours. Letting some random girl into his room and then sleeping with her.

But he didn't want that to happen with you. To him, you were more than just a fan who thought he looked good. He had helped you and that had created an emotional connection between the two of you. A connection, he only ever would want to nourish and strengthen. Something he never had with anyone before and something he didn't want to have with anyone else but with you. He didn't know whether this was what people called true love or friendship. He had good friends, but nothing like this had ever happened. Elvis himself didn't know what he was feeling at that moment. But he knew he liked you and promised himself the second he saw you laying outside, recovering, that he would do anything in his power to protect you.

His thoughts had come to an end when he arrived at the door of his room. Rather his and my room. He somehow managed to grab the key and unlock the door while still holding me.

Once he entered the room, closed the door and turned on the lights, Elvis started to search for the bed. When he found it, I was gently placed on it. He then took his suit and went to hang it up. A few minutes later, a man came in and brought the luggage. This was all happening while I was half asleep.

Later, Elvis came to me and gently shook me. I opened my eyes again and saw he was offering me some clothes. I slowly sat up.

"Here. In case you don't want to sleep in your clothes."

I smiled. "Thank you." He smiled and sarcastically bowed, before turning around and closing the bedroom door, letting me change in private. That made my smile widen. I knew it was the bare minimum, but it was still nice.

When I changed, I felt thirsty and walked outside the room, into the main area. I saw Elvis, half laying on the couch. His legs were dangling off the edge and when he heard the door open, he turned his head to me.

"Sorry," I whisper, seeing he dimmed the lights. "I'm thirsty." I say and walk to the kitchen, turning the tap on and drinking straight from it without a glass. Behind me, Elvis was grinning. He remembered how he used to always do that. When I turned the water off and turned around, it only then hit me that he took the couch because I was in the bed. I wiped my mouth from the droplets.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realise there was only one bed. We can switch, I might fit on the sofa. I'll go grab my things." I say, heading to my bedroom, but then Elvis speaks up.

"Don't worry about it, darling. I want you to have a goodnight's sleep. You deserve it more."

Wow, Elvis Presley was giving up a big bed for me. I was about to protest but before I could, Elvis said, "In fact, I insist on sleeping here. And I demand that you sleep on the bed."

I smiled at him. "Well, I guess your wish is my command, kind sir." I joke. He chuckles lightly. "Thank you, Elvis. So much. For everything."

"Honey, you need to do less thanking and more sleeping. Off you go."

I giggle and then leave the room, snuggling up into my bed and falling asleep.

I was woken up in the night again. The same hand that carefully shook me awake before, was doing it again now. I sat up and opened my eyes, to see Elvis next to my bed, looking concerned.

"Y/N are you okay? I heard you crying and screaming." He whispered, turning on the nightstand lamp on my left. Just then did I realise, my cheeks were hot with tears and I was sweating. I must have had a nightmare. They happened often.

"I'm fine. Sorry did I wake you?" I ask, rubbing my eyes.

"Not really no. Anyway, if you need anything, you know where to find me." Elvis said, about to turn the light off and walk away.

"Wait-" I say, before even thinking about my words. Elvis looks up at me", his beautiful eyes almost making me forget what I was wanting to say.

"Could you maybe stay? Please? I hate having nightmares..." I say, looking down at my feet before back up to him.

Elvis couldn't believe it. It was like his silent prayers had been answered. Not only did he get to know sleep in a bed, but he also got to sleep next to you. You wanted him there and he would never say no to that. He would protect you from anything.

"With pleasure." He smiled, turning the light off and walking to the other side of the bed. I felt the mattress dip as Elvis settled in next to me.

"Thank y-"

"Shh." he shushed me "I don't want to hear it. This is my pleasure Y/N, you don't need to thank me. Now sleep well darling. I will ensure that nothing happens to you."

"Okay, goodnight Elvis."

"Sweet dreams Y/N." he whispered back. I scootched a little closer to him and returned to sleep.

That night, I slept better than I had in months. The bed was so much more comfortable than the bunk beds with thin mattresses I was used to. And I felt so safe, I could finally let my guard down and relax. I had not a worry in the world.

Elvis felt like he was floating on clouds. He didn't know why sharing a bed with you made him so happy, but he loved it. Listening to your slow breathing and occasional tossing and turning helped him relax. He never slept well when he was travelling. He didn't think the bed was extremely comfortable. But if you were to ask him to sleep next to you, outside on the cement road, he would do it. And he would probably even manage to fall asleep.

We were both awoken by a loud knocking noise at the door. It shocked us both and we sat up almost in synch.

"What the hell.." Elvis groaned before getting up out of bed and walking to the door. I was too tired to listen and tried falling back asleep.

Turns out, Elvis and I both slept in. And Elvis had to perform today, meaning we had to be on the road to prepare everything for his show. I wasn't any help in that.

We both got ready and left the room 10 minutes after waking up. Everyone entered the vehicles again. This time, I sat at the back of the car and a man sat in my previous spot. He was filling Elvis in about the details of tonight, while we were heading to our destination. Breakfast was given to everyone before the drive and I was currently devouring mine in the backseat, gazing out of the window. I ate sandwich after sandwich until I was stuffed and felt like sleeping again. God, I was being spoiled here. I loved it though, definitely not complaining.

After finally arriving in the busy city, a few people recognized the pink Cadillac and the squealing and commotion kept me awake. I thought it was funny how many hearts Elvis had stolen with his music. It was incredible. After giggling a few times, when girls would throw themselves at the moving car Elvis chuckled and said "Welcome to my life, darling."

We arrived at this huge building. Apparently, it was a hotel and Elvis had his own stage in it. When we stopped, the others started to unpack the cars while Elvis was being followed by people with cameras, the flashing lights around him almost drowning him out of reality.

I got out and felt a little lost. I didn't know where to go or what t do, and everyone seemed busy so I just stayed by the car.

Before Elvis was pulled somewhere, I heard him call out my name. My gaze shot up and he was waving me over, roughly pushing through the crowd. When he reached me, I started to get my own taste of flashing lights.

"Come with me, let's go inside. They can't follow us in there." he said going in to grab my hand but then correcting himself and guiding me with an arm around my shoulder again. I couldn't help but look around, amazed but also discomforted by the number of people around us, occasionally yelling out questions.

When we finally reached the entrance and walked inside, we were guided to our rooms.

Elvis basically dropped me off there, after showing me around and making sure everything was alright. He had to start rehearsing for the show and making sure everything was as planned etc.

I spent the rest of the day, wandering the never-ending halls of the hotel, occasionally passing people who sent me bad looks. I must not fit the dress code, I assumed. I had changed into my old clothes in the morning.

By the time it hit 6pm, I returned to my room. When I walked to the bed I was surprised. There were three dresses displayed along the sheets with a little note.

'Got you something pretty for tonight. Choose one. I hope you like them. We can go shopping for more tomorrow.

P.S: Be ready by 7 pm.

-EP'

My heart melted. He was so sweet. Out of all the options I liked the one in the middle the best. It was simple but not boring. The others were either too revealing or too colourful and glittery. And beside the bed there was a pair of shoes and a small purse, fitting all the dresses.

I freshened up and put my dress on, feeling like a princess. I decided to brush my hair and make myself look presentable with anything I had.

When 7 hit, I heard a knock on my door. A friendly-looking man stood at the door as I opened it and smiled.

" I see you are ready to go, miss. Please, would you be so kind as to follow me." He said before turning around and starting to walk.

I quickly scurried after him, trying not to trip in my new heels. Everything I had on looked expensive. I wouldn't want to ruin or break it in any way.

We took the elevator 10 floors down and arrived at the stage.

"Mr Presley picked a special seat for you. Right, this way."

I smiled. I had never been to a concert before. I only ever dreamed of it. This had me so excited I wanted to squeal like the other girls.

I was sitting on the second floor, looking down at the stage, one the side. Very few people were up here. Everyone was downstairs. The producers and people coordinating the show lights stood there with me. The curtains were drawn and the audience patiently waited for any sign of life behind them so they could cheer.

Once they opened, my heart skipped a beat. Elvis walked on stage from the side and I scooted forward, to see him better.

He performed fantastically. Every song was beautiful and I enjoyed every moment of it. Then, another surprise awaited me. As we neared the end of the concert, Elvis addressed his last song.

"Listen up folks. I have decided to add another song to the show tonight. I wrote this one almost a year ago because I was told I had to have a song about love in my album, otherwise it wouldn't get bought. I never understood the lyrics even though I had written it myself." He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

"But I recently met a very special person, and reading through the words of this song earlier today, reminded me of them. I just knew I had to sing this for you, my darling Y/N." he said and my eyes shot open. My mouth dropped when he locked eyes with me and pointed up. People started looking up and I tried to hide from their searching eyes by moving a little bit away from the edge. He just grinned and then the music started to play.

The girls at the front seemed to ignore what he just said and imagined it was for them, squealing at every romantic part and some even had teary eyes. But throughout most of the song, Elvis was just looking at me and I was completely hypnotised. His song was beautiful and made me realise how much I liked it. At first, I wasn't sure whether I just liked him the way the girls down there did. But I realised that I enjoyed spending time with him, no matter how much money or fame he had. He was the first person I ever felt safe around. He helped me understand myself and be me. And when his song finished and he blew a kiss up to me, I realised I was deeply in love with him.

After that, the show ended and Elvis stepped behind the curtains. The lights in the audience hall went on and men started dragging their girlfriends home.

I stood up and followed the kind man again. He told me Elvis needed to still sort a few things out and that he would be up in the room shortly. So I followed him back upstairs.

Once I got into the room, I just sat down at a desk which faced the huge window. I watched the nightlife in what I was told was Vegas. I watched the cars move and tiny people walk. The lights of shops lit up the streets and the car park of the hotel had a line of cars, leaving after the concert. There was a huge sign by the hotel, saying 'ELVIS' which was lit up too, shining in shades of gold and red.

After a few minutes of still and silent gazing, I zoned out, replaying what just happened in my mind over and over again.

Elvis sang a song for me.

I was special to him.

It was a romantic love song.

That means he likes me. Romantically.

Does he know that I like him? Am I that obvious?

No, how could he? I didn't know until now either.

My heart pounded in my chest and my stomach was filled with a warm feeling. He is so pretty and wonderful oh god. What am I going to do?

Just then, the front door opened and I turned around swiftly. Elvis walked in, a small towel in his hand, wiping off the sweat from his forehead. His perfectly styled hair was not in place anymore. A few strands were hanging down on his face and the clothes he wore showed the top of his chest. Fuck, I am so screwed.

"Evenin' sweetheart." Elvis said, smirking at me. He threw the towel behind him and stood by the door, looking at me.

"Hey..." I say softly. I didn't know whether to thank him for the song or not. And if yes, how to say it or express it. This has never happened before so I was struggling to deal with the situation.

"Did ya' like the show?" he asked, grinning at me. My cheeks flushed in seconds and I had to look away but he saw my reaction.

"Baby I can see you and your cute rosy cheeks." He continued to talk, starting to walk up to me. I blushed even harder at the new name he gave me. Elvis softly put his hand under my chin and guided my head up so that I was looking at him again. He was towering over me, while I watched him with wide eyes. "Does this mean you liked my song?" he asked, his grin turning into a smile. I couldn't form words so I nodded slowly. His smile widened again.

"Yeah? How about you tell me that darlin'. " His eyes continued to flicker between mine, watching every inch of my reaction.

"I liked your song. It was beautiful, thank y-" I whispered before being cut off. He placed a finger over my lips.

"No thanking. As I said, honey. I love doing this for you." he told me before taking both my hands and pulling me from my chair.

"How about the dress? You like the dress?" he asked me, scanning my body in the expensive fabric.

I nodded again. "I love the dress." I softly say, completely mesmerized by him.

His eyes meet mine again. "You look beautiful in it, honey." He then raised my left hand and twirled me around, to show the dress from all sides. "Such a pretty little thing you are."

I didn't know it was possible but I blushed even harder, pressing my lips together and looking down. I heard him chuckle. "You haven't heard that enough I'm assumin'. " he cupped my cheek and ran his thumb over my cheekbone gently. "You could be my pretty lil' thing. My girl. I'd take care of you better than anyone ever could."

My eyes widened a little in shock. I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out.

"You love the dress?" he asks again. I nod. "Anything else you love, sweetheart?"

Elvis needed confirmation on everything. While he knew he looked good, he wanted to hear it all from you. To him, you were all that mattered and he needed to know what you thought of him.

I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I had to let it all out. "You... Elvis, I think I love you..." I tell him. It almost sounded like a whisper and it came out way more desperate than intended. It was getting hard to breath. I couldn't form full sentences anymore.

Elvis' eyes lit up. Joy started forming and kept growing by the second. "Why's that?" he asked, slyly. Elvis took advantage of the effect he had on me and wanted to squeeze out everything that was on my mind. By now, clouded mind.

"You... helped me. So nice, to... me. Generous..." I say, mumbling out everything I possibly could. "So pretty..." I added and he grinned again. His face was beautiful, his long eyelashes looked magical. And the fact that he was comfortable wearing make-up and clothes some might describe as feminine only added to my attraction to him. He was comfortable with his own masculinity. He was happy with himself and fuck he was perfect like that.

I slowly raised my hand and tried to brush a strand of hair, back in its place. "So pretty..." I repeated, letting my hand fall lower and rest on his chest. When I locked eyes with him again, I noticed a difference. The atmosphere had shifted. His eyes looked at me in a different way. Before he was teasing me and adoring my reactions, which to him were cute. Now, he looked... almost hungry for something. His eyes were a little darker and his pupils slightly more dilated than before.

Him looking like this turned me on so much. I clenched my thighs slightly, trying to hide how wet I was getting. But his eyes shot straight to them and he noticed my movement. I froze under his stare and he closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. His whole body was tense.

I watched him clench his jaw and fists over and over again, trying to get some self-control. But I didn't want that, I wanted him. I was never the type of person to initiate this or do the first move, but I needed him so badly, that I couldn't help myself.

While Elvis was concentrating, his nostrils flared, breathing much heavier than before. I stepped right in front of him and pressed my body against his. My hands slid back up to his chest and I watched as his eyes shot open a watched my movements. He was a few seconds away from breaking. I just needed to give him one last push.

"Elvis..." I whisper, peering up at him with my best doe eyes. His breathing hitched at how seductive it sounded and he subconsciously held his breath.

"Kiss me..."

His pupils widened again but he wasted no time and did as he was told. Elvis cupped my cheek and leaned down, pressing his lips against mine. I immediately kissed back and wrapped my arms, loosely around his neck. The hand on my cheek moved to the back of my head, holding me in place by my hair while the other snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him. There was no space in between us now. We held each other as if there was someone trying to rip us apart.

I never wanted this moment to end. When we pulled away, he pressed his forehead against mine and we gazed into each other's eyes while regaining our breath.

"Y/N I love you so much, darling. Please, be my girl. I'm crazy about you honey." Elvis said, sounding as desperate as I did a minute ago.

"Yes, yes yes yes. Thousand times yes." I say with a shaky breath before we connect our lips again. Elvis picks me up this time, holding me by my lower back and thighs, wrapping them around himself. He walked us over to the bed we slept in and slowly bent down, gently placing me onto the soft bed. We broke apart and I climbed to the top of the bed. He stood at the end of it and he stripped down the first layer of clothing he wore. Now he was just in his slightly transparent lace shirt and pants. Elvis then crawled up to me, stopping once he was hovering above me and giving me another kiss, before slowly trailing them down my jaw and neck. I slid my fingers into his thick hair, gently holding his head while he sucked and bit down on the skin above my collarbone.

"Are you okay with this?" he asked me, playing with the strap of my dress.

"More than okay." I breathe out and he smiles, slowly pulling the straps down my shoulders. Elvis then reached behind my back and unzipped my dress. He then helped me scoot it down my body and I had to bite my lip not to moan when his fingers brushed past my abdomen and thighs. The expensive dress was thrown to the other side of the room and when Elvis looked back at me, I saw his eyes widen. I was laying in front of him in only my underwear (which came with the dress, very smooth Elvis) and it seemed to leave him speechless.

I blushed and squirmed under his eyes and he chuckled lightly. "You're so beautiful." he told me, kissing me again.

My arms started to fondle with his shirt and I slipped my hands under the fabric, running them along his back. Elvis got the message and pulled away, taking it off. My hands worked on his belt and he grinned at me, watching my small hands try to undo his glamourous complicated belt.

"Eager are we?" he teased but I couldn't care less.

"I need you..." I breathe out. Elvis replaces my hands with one of his and unbuckled the belt, pulling it out of the rings of his pants with one swift move. I missed his lips again so we kissed, much deeper this time. My hands successfully started to unbutton his pants while he skillfully unhooked my bra.

His hands reached for my breasts and he massaged them while mumbling into my ear how beautiful I looked and how much he loved me. He kissed between the valley of my breasts while cupping one and I let out a soft moan, arching my back into him.

The sound I released drove him wild. He had heard a woman moan before but this was magical. He couldn't wait to pull more sounds out of you.

Both of you grew impatient and couldn't bare the teasing anymore. Elvis looked up at me while slowly pulling my panties down my legs, checking for any sign of discomfort or regret. When he shed my last piece of clothing, I tugged at his last piece. That came right off and when I looked between us, I almost gasped. Holy shit he was bigger than I expected. Not just that but his dick was thick and had a few veins running along the sides, it made my mouth water.

"Don't worry honey, I'm all yours." Elvis tells me, smiling to himself. I bite my lip and look up at him. A dirty thought crossed my mind and what better time to do it than now?

While Elvis was hypnotized by my naked body, I reached in between us and gently wrapped my hand around his dick. His breath got caught in the back of his throat and his mouth slightly dropped open. He looked down before back up at me. His pupils were almost twice the size now and he seemed intoxicated by his lust for me.

I felt his pulse on him and it was increasing rapidly, so I decided to please him a little. I carefully stroked him up and down a few times, then tightened my grip slightly and resumed my previous actions. Elvis was panting in the crook of my neck and I watched his back tense and biceps flex, fighting the urge to thrust up into my hand.

I took my time with him, amazed by everything he did and every sound he made.

Suddenly I felt one of his hands on my thigh and he slowly moved it higher and higher until he reach my pussy. His fingers then made contact with my hot, wet skin and he started to rub me between my folds. I gasped out in shock and pleasure and pumped him faster. Elvis pushed two of his fingers into me without warning and we both became moaning messes. His fingers felt amazing inside me but I needed more than that. He stopped his movements, making me pull my hand from him.

"I want to finish inside you, darlin'. " he whispered and I nodded, whining in anticipation.

I spread my legs and he lowered his his in between them, our crotches making contact. Elvis rubbed his dick between my folds. "You're so wet for me, baby."

"Elvis please." I whine needily.

"Okay, okay. You're okay with this, honey?" he asks me for reassurance.

"Yes. So okay, just please do someth-" I'm cut off by Elvis slowly pushing his tip into my entrance. I forget how to breath for a second and then he pushes himself all the way inside, bottoming out completely. We both moan in sync. I arch my back again, pressing my chest against Elvis' and he lets his head drop down to the crook of my neck again, his hot breath becoming moist on my skin.

Elvis started to slowly move and fuck he felt so good.

"So- so tight, baby." he moaned in absolute bliss.

"Oh god." I whimpered, closing my eyes in pleasure. He speeded up his movements and the harder he thrust into me the better it felt. My nails trailed down his back and when he hit my g-spot I dug them into his back.

"Elvis, don't stop." I moaned. His thrusts became sloppier and less precise, signalling he was close to his climax. My stomach felt like it was tightening around me. Elvis felt it too.

After a few more thrusts, I was blown away by the intense pleasure and was convinced I was in heaven. Ironic really if you think about how sinful this situation really is. Elvis thrust into me one last time before freezing and staying buried deep inside me. I felt him fill me up. His mouth was hanging open while my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I haven't felt this pleasure in so long.

Once we both came down from our high, Elvis stayed inside me and slowly let himself drop onto me. We were both so out of breath we couldn't talk. I let one of my hands gently rub over the scratch marks I left on his back and the other was in his hair, massaging and scratching his scalp.

"You're amazing." Elvis whispered after a few seconds.

I smiled in response. "I love you, Elvis."

"I love you too baby." he replied and then slowly got up, pulling out in the process. He walked over to me and gently picked me up bridal style, walking us both to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm taking care of my girl." he smiled down at me before running us both a bath.

I never wanted to leave him. And I didn't plan on doing so. I was happy for the first time in ages.

#elvis presley x y/n #elvis movie #elvis presley #fanfiction #fanfic #austin butler #smut #fluff #austin elvis x reader #austin elvis imagine #y/n #elvis #elvis 2022 #baz luhrmann elvis

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kissochako · 3 years ago

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Candied Love.

summary; @shoutocakie asked: How about buying all the candy you loved as a kid for Todoroki Shouto because he never got any growing up - because, you know, his dad. So you make him try them all with you until you both feel sick and need some real food, aka soba.

tags; Shouto x gender neutral!reader, fluff, mentions of childhood trauma if you squint

Long fic; 1.2k words. might be a part two in the future.

The shopping centre was bustling and hustling of people, who were predominantly shopping for Easter celebrations as the day was approaching quickly. Stores had advertised sales, as there was a boost of customers in time for Easter. Most students were going to go back home to celebrate Easter with their families, as the school provided a free-day for the holiday.

In time before the arrival of Easter, you and Todoroki had decided to buy easter-themed gifts for your class. Well, you suggested the idea and he just went along with your idea. Wandering around Kiyashi Ward Shopping Mall, you noticed a small candy shop which had displayed nostalgic easter lollies.

“Todoroki, what was your favourite childhood candy?” It was a question out of curiosity, as you knew his family is rich and probably spoiled their children.

“I wasn’t allowed candy,” Todoroki answered bluntly, as if it was normal. “My Old Man thought they were going to stunt my growth and limit my ability.” You looked taken aback at him, regretting such an insensitive question.

“I-I’m deeply apologetic, I completely forgot about your upbringing.” You entwined your fingers together and darted your eyes anywhere else remote from his view. Despite the clear apology, your skin quavered at the feeling of him glaring intensely towards you.

After a few prolonged seconds, his eyes alleviated. “Do not worry about it, y/n. I don’t mind any inquiries.” He tried his best to reassure you, but there was still tension lingering around you two.

Eventually, the tension passed, you and Todoroki continued to walk around the shopping centre, discussing gift ideas for the teachers, browsing shop displays and buying individual personalised gifts for each of your classmates. It turned out to be a great time with Todoroki , with no other classmates to distract him or any surprise villain attacks. Thank goodness there weren't any fangirls present who recognised him too! Imagine what they would’ve done if they caught their beloved Todoroki out alone with a girl?

While you and Todoroki chatted away lightheartedly, concerning matters about each other’s internships and modifications you guys would like to your hero costumes. Until, your stomach bubbled and growled, interrupting the current conservation. You tried to ignore the sounds and hoped that Todoroki wouldn’t notice.

“I heard that.” He stopped in his path. You feigned confusion, tilting your head and looking around the place. “Heard what?” You replied with a hint of stammer in your voice.

“Your stomach, you’re hungry,” Regardless of his monotone voice, his voice was soothing to you. “After we’re done, we could go to the food court.”

Once each classmate had a designated gift, he was true to his word and you and Todoroki concluded the shopping trip to browse the centre for a place to satisfy you and Todoroki ‘s hunger after roaming around for a long period.

Except, none of the places at the food court seemed suitable for you and Todoroki ’s appetite. You furrowed your eyebrows and rubbed your chin until a light bulb flickered in your head. You could give Todoroki a taste of childhood treats instead!

“I have the best idea ever!” You exclaimed in enthusiasm and seized his wrist before he could protest against you.

While holding on securely onto his wrist, you took off in a paced run, ignoring Todoroki ’s questions of confusion and hesitation. With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you continued running despite the earlier pain in your calves of walking around, looking behind you occasionally to see Todoroki huffing and puffing.

Todoroki stared at you in disbelief as your hair bounced with each step across the ground. How could he tell you that he was short of breath because of your smile which made his heart beat quicker than his actual speed? He was always fond of you, your quirky personality and how easy it was to be with you…

As people stared and small children pointed at you and Todoroki, you two did not stop for anything or anyone. Except when you guys would occasionally bump into families or other teenagers your age and had to sincerely apologise towards them. Other than that, it felt as if nothing could hold you guys back from anything and everything.

“Earth to Todoroki!?” He was snapped out of his little world and was found back to his current reality, at least he’s with you. “Sorry, I was just recovering after that.. run.”

“Todoroki, if you need to recover after that small jog, then you better start practising your run if you want to make it pro!” You wittily remarkarked on his statement before giving a playful nudge to his arm. However, even when you’re making fun of him, he doesn’t ever re-evaluate how he feels towards you.

“I just need to warm up before cardio, that’s all.” He replied with a subtle curve on his lips, internally wishing you could see what you’ve done to him. “However, where are we, y/n?”

With a sly smile displayed on your face, you gestured your finger for him to follow you inside the small shop. It was flamboyant and vibrant, the walls had illustrations of dainty sweets, all of the surfaces were overflowing with advertised pastries on sale. The store had just been decorated for the upcoming Easter holiday, with plastic painted eggs placed erratically throughout, triangular banners had been hung spelling ‘EASTER’.

Shouto looked around in surprise, he thought he would’ve never in his lifetime stepped foot in one of these places. “Enjoying the sight? You can grab anything you’d like, it’s all on me!” You commented on his face of bewilderment, restraining your giggles of the stoic Todoroki being amazed by a candy store.

“Are you sure? I am certain that I can afford these myself–” You shoved your finger on his mouth, interjecting whatever he was going to say. “Nuh, ah, ah! It’s my treat, I'll buy you all of my favourites.”

You pulled Todoroki everywhere, and showcased him all of your childhood favourites and some stories of Easter when you were young. Luckily, there were some samples provided so you guys could properly choose which lollies you guys wanted to purchase.

However, you kept on stuffing Todoroki’s mouth with all kinds of sweet foods, along with him feeding you candies he thinks you’d like. One sample of each lolly, turned into three, into five and eventually eight.

After indulging in the pastries and candies, you guys had decided which to purchase and you paid for both you and Todoroki according to your promise despite Todoroki’s offers to pay instead.

You guys had to drag your feet to the car, often having to pause for one person to pour out a puddle of rainbows, scrambled eggs and rice. Once you guys had finally got there, you both slumped in the backseat in exhaustion and ache.

You took a long glance at Todoroki, admiring the fact that regardless of all the walking, running and consuming a whole month’s worth of candy, he still manages to have porcelain type skin, gratifying lips and silky hair. You rip your eyes off him once you realise what’s going through your head, failing to prevent your cheeks from getting warm to embarrassment.

“Y/N… Would you like to stay over at my residence to eat soba?”

“Of course.”

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years ago

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Portrait of a Dangerous Man🎨5

Warnings: (series) non-consent sex and rape; slow creep; cucking; (this chapter) threats, implied and mild violence

This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Your dream of having your work hung in an art show comes true but your first buyer is not all he seems to be.

Note: So between Friday and Saturday I’ll be doing eight hours a day for @buckyownsmylife‘s writeathon (like 12-8pm EST) but you can send an ask at any time. I will share a list of what I intend to work on and possible ideas later today if you wanna ask some questions or gab about whatever. After the last few days on tumblr and that nonsense, I think we need a little carelessness.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You walked and walked until you could no more. You stopped in front of another humongous set of gates and ordered an Uber. You waited in the dark in the shadow of the wall and a car slowed as it approached. You waved as the model and plate matched the app and got in. The driver remarked on the odd pick-up but you just shrugged and dialed.

You’d called your mom several times and she hadn’t picked up. It was almost eleven then so you gave up as her voicemail beeped once again. You dropped your head back against the seat and held your head. Everything was fucked.

You couldn’t believe it. Clark making the offer, Marcus trying to barter with him. It was all so fucked up. Five years. Five years! You never thought Marcus to be that type, shallow and greedy. Sure, he griped about money but you always made due and you thought if you had each other, it would be enough for him. But it wasn’t and he was ready to trade you to a stranger for a check.

You felt nauseous and crossed your arms over your stomach as you hunched over. You felt like crying but you knew you couldn’t. You had to get what you needed and get out. You weren’t going to stick around to argue with either of those assholes. This was the last time you were going to let your hope be crushed.

How much time had you wasted? On both of them.

You got out in front of your building and finalised the tip for the driver. You felt worse that you were going to leave your work in that cretin’s house. That he thought he could just buy you like he did the canvas. It was all just a ploy to get in your pants. And the way he said it, “I’ll fuck her either way.” Like you would fall into his arms agog and smitten.

You rushed up the stairs as your eyes began to well and you sniffled as you unlocked your apartment door. You wanted badly to trash the large monitor sitting above Marcus’ glowing tower. You wanted to shred all his clothes and take a hammer to everything he owned.

You didn’t. You grabbed your laptop from your desk and swept into the bedroom. You pulled your floral duffel from under the bed and loaded it with your laptop, tablet, and a pile of clothes. You tossed the zip-up pouch with your passport and other important documents on top and hauled it over your shoulder. He could keep the rest of it. You didn’t care if it ended up in the dumpster.

You checked the time as you closed the apartment door and headed down the hallway. It was after midnight. You wondered if they noticed you were gone. You didn’t care. You were sending every penny back to Clark, even if you had to dip into your savings; those years of squirreling away in hopes of buying a home with the love of your life.

That was what you thought he was. You just couldn’t understand how he could be so easily won over by overpriced cars and the ridiculously overdone mansion. You came out onto the street and stopped.

Where could you go? There wasn’t a bus out of town until the morning. You could get a hotel room for the night and head to your mom’s then. God, you felt rotten at the thought of showing up at her doorstep, another failure on your shoulders. You swore to her the last time you talked that you were finally getting your feet under you.

Why were you so stupid?

You dried your cheeks with the back of your hand and adjusted the strap of the heavy bag and turned down the sidewalk. There was a Days Inn not far from your place. They might have a vacancy.

You didn’t make it two steps before you heard the car door. You tried to ignore the man as you were eager to be anywhere but out in the city streets after dark. It was too late to react as the passenger door opened and the dark figure blocked your path. The driver came up behind you and you cried out as you were seized from both sides.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you shrieked, “let go of me.”

“Shut up,” the driver said as he covered your mouth and the other man took your bag.

You murmured into his palm and kicked out with your heel, barely missing the passenger with the sharp tip. He opened the back door and threw your bag inside. He turned back and grabbed your legs as you thrashed and both men struggled to angle you in after the duffle.

You pushed your chin above the man’s hand and gasped, “please, what--”

“Shh,” you were finally forced past the door and it slammed behind you, nearly catching your skirt.

You sat up and pulled on the door handle but it didn’t budge. You couldn’t pull up the locks and your fingers just slid down the switches. Even the windows wouldn’t roll down.

“Who are you? What are you doing?” you kicked the door desperately, “please--”

“Hurry up,” the passenger growled, “don’t wanna keep the boss waiting.”

“Hey! I’m talking to you--”

“And you better stop,” the driver pulled out a gun and turned to point it at you, “close those sweet little lips and be a good girl. We got a far way to go, doll.”

You swallowed and pushed yourself back against the vinyl seat. The driver turned forward and shoved the keys in the slot as the other bent around the console and reached to snatch your clutch from you. He wrestled with you for a moment then ripped it away. He took out your phone and waved it triumphantly as the car began to move.

“Please, what--”

“Don’t make me tell you to shut up again,” the driver warned as he focused on the road, “god damn maniac got me out in the middle of the night with this shit.”

“It’ll be a good cut,” the other man said, “can’t complain about a late night if I’m getting paid.”

“The boss? Who--”

“Fuck, you ever know when to shut up?” The passenger turned to glare at you, “you’re really not doing yourself any favours so please.”

He looked forward again and flipped on the radio. He turned the dial so you were deafened by the raucous tones of hair metal. You cradled your ears and huffed as you fell back against the seat. The street lights flashed down on the seat beside you as you passed and you shook your head.

This wasn’t a coincidence. It couldn’t be. But the question still remained; who exactly was Clark Kent?

🎨

You screamed as the man dragged you out of the car. The other came around to grab your other arm as you swiped out with your nails. Your ankles bent under you as you tried to stop yourself on the mosaic stonework. The large mansion loomed over you in the dark, still night. The party was over and all the cars were gone.

You writhed as they forced you through the front door and you tried futilely to shake off the larger men. Your chest hammered with panic and you leaned back as you were dragged up the stairs. You grunted as you wriggled and hissed at how they twisted your arms back and held them firmly.

“Please, please, just let me go--”

“Well, doll, we’ve come this far,” the driver snickered, “you really think you can get out now?”

“I don’t-- who are you? Why are you doing this?”

You were dragged towards the pair of pale doors that stood open as they offered a peek of the studio within. The amber glow of a lamp washed over shadows and limned the lines of the overturned easel as you were taken inside. You whined as the men stopped just past the doors.

Clark sat in the same chair he sat in for your sessions. He smirked as his eyes fell upon you but your own skittered over to Marcus as he sat on the stool by the table of paints. You blinked and batted away tears of disbelief with your lashes. His eye was swollen and his lip split; thick rope held his wrists behind his back and coiled around his torso and legs.

“What--

“Let her go, close the door,” Clark demanded, “I can handle her.”

The moment the hands left your arms, you spun but an arm caught you swiftly around the waist. You were flung back so you sprawled across the floor. You cried out as you met the polished wood and your body rang with pain.

“Hey,” Clark warned and his footsteps neared you as you pushed yourself up on shaky arms, “that doesn’t happen again, got it?”

“Sorry, boss, I was just--”

“Go,” Clark barked as he knelt and took your arm.

The doors slid closed with a harsh snap and you hit Clark’s chest as he tried to pull you up to your feet. You dug your heels into the floor and pushed yourself away from him. You turned and got up on your knees. You climbed to your feet but he was quick to block your path to the doors.

“You left so suddenly,” he crossed his arms, “not even a goodbye?”

“Fuck you. Fuck both of you,” you sneered, “I heard your offer,” you paused and looked around at Marcus, “and I heard you too. I’m not a whore.”

“Sweetheart, I know you’re not,” Clark said patronizingly, “but apparently he doesn’t.”

“Whatever, let me go, I don’t want either of you,” you snarled.

You tried to brush past him and he grabbed your arms and backed you up. “Sweetheart, I don’t have to pay for it. Understand that. And we did settle on a deal but I’m not paying for your services.”

“What-- Why--”

“I’m paying him to watch,” Clark winked, “I want him to see how he fucked up. I want him to see what a real man can do for you.”

“I’m not interested,” you tried to shrug him off but he held firm, “get off of me, Clark. We’re done. I’m sending you your money back and I don’t want to see you again.”

“Where are you gonna go, huh? No job, no prospects, no money?”

“I did alright before you, I can take care of myself--”

“Sweetheart,” he framed your chin with his hand and leaned in, “this is where we make a deal of our own…” his blue eyes clung to yours as he lowered his voice, “you can go along with it and the boy gets to walk off with just a couple bruises or… he doesn’t leave this room on his feet.”

Your eyes rounded and your lip quivered. You sucked in air and steeled yourself.

“I told you, I’m done with both of you,” you hissed.

“Uh huh, but I know you’re not gonna let him die just like that,” he turned his hand and rubbed your cheek, “besides, neither of us are stupid. I saw how you look at me and you know what lies behind those eyes.”

“No, I don’t…” you uttered and looked back at Marcus. He squirmed on the stool helplessly as he stared at you intently, begging you silently as he bit down on the gag. “Why are you doing this?”

“Shhh, sweetheart,” he trailed his finger over your lower lip, “it’s okay. Haven’t I been good to you?”

“I can’t… please, don’t make me do this.”

“Come on, let’s sit down,” he dropped his hand as his other clung to your arm, “we have some things to sort out first.”

He pulled on you and you locked your legs. After a moment, your knees buckled and you let him lead you over to the chair. He sat and drew you onto his lap. You sat stiffly as his hand tickled your lower back and crawled up to pick at the straps of your dress.

“You see everything I have, everything I can do,” he said staunchly, “I can snap his neck as easily as I snap my fingers,” his other hand settled on your knee and squeezed. He nuzzled your shoulder and grazed your skin with his lips, “and even if it came to that, I’d still have you, sweetheart. This isn’t about what I get, I know my prize, this is about you and how you want things to go.”

You shuddered and shakily touched your neck. You hated the way his fingertips sent shivers through you and his lips made your stomach churn. You stopped his hand as it crawled up your leg.

“I… I only wanted to paint,” you said numbly.

“And did you really think that was all I wanted? A painter?” he scoffed and slipped his hand from beneath yours. He felt along the slit of the dress and shoved his hand beneath the fabric.

“I don’t… know…” you squeezed your thighs together as his fingers curled into your flesh.

“You really want to make this difficult? Sweetheart, you can’t even begin to know who I am and what I can do. This is just a taste.”

“Wh-why me?” you stuttered as he forced his hand between your legs and kneaded your flesh.

“Why not?” he replied.

He slapped your thick lightly and urged you off of him. You stood and he reached beneath his jacket as you wobbled on your weak legs and looked at Marcus desperately. He shook his head and let it slump down on his chest.

“Now, Marcus,” Clark revealed a dark pistol, “we talked about this. If you want your money, you don’t get to look away.”

You stared at the barrel as he pointed it at Marcus and lifted a brow. You flinched as your emotions swirled in your stomach and every one of your nerves was set alight.

“Sweetheart, you have one minute to make up your mind,” he pulled back the hammer, “as much as that looks gorgeous on you, I want you in only this.”

He pushed his fingers into his pants pocket and pulled out the diamond necklace. He held it out and the gems twinkled in lowlight. You swallowed and reached to take them from him.

“Who are you?” you asked as you hooked your fingers through the chain.

He chuckled and ran his fingers along his beard, “I’m exactly who you need me to be.”

#clark kent #dark clark kent #dark!clark kent #clark kent x reader #superman #series #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #portrait of a dangerous man #mob au #au #mob!au #dc #dcu

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soulmate-game · 3 years ago

Text

Curiosity Killed the Exorcist

“And then, see here? You have to be on the lookout for subtle signs like these. This indicates that he’s…” Marinette nodded as Tim continued explaining, pointing out various body language and other clues out on the Batcomputer. It had only been about six months since the Batfam collectively adopted the little ladybug into their menagerie of heroes, and started teaching her deductive habits and skills. She would not allow them anywhere near Paris on pain of death (some of them had already tried, and Bruce was still recovering from the bruise to his ego. The bruise on his ass from being teleported out of the city and onto the stone of the Batcave was gone, though) but she welcomed any help they could give from within Gotham’s city limits.

Usually, at least in the beginning, they did their mentorship at a distance over video call. But then Tim found out her identity, and Marinette made the excuse of wanting to meet with them in person to gauge their trustworthiness for herself and erase their memories of her identity if they failed her test— and, well, it all snowballed from there until she was teleporting to the Batcave every few days for detective lessons. She was practically a Bat herself, if not for her out of theme codename. And she found herself surprisingly comfortable with the thought of them being a… very eccentric extended family.

Tim was flipping to another saved video in the Batcomputer archives to show another example of his current lesson, when Tikki flew up to Marinette in a hurry. She was holding Kaalki’s glasses. The little kwami whispered something in Marinette’s ear, instantly making the teen blanch and force on the glasses.

“Sorry Timmy, gotta cut this short! I’ll come back tomorrow to make up for it! Okay? Okay! Awesome, you’re the best, bye!” She ignored all of Tim’s protests and rapid fire questions, instead opening up a portal and jumping through it as fast as humanly possible. The portal has barely disappeared before an all-too-familiar voice rose up from behind Tim.

“Maybe I’m still drunk, ‘cause I could’a sworn I just saw a portal closing in the damned Batcave, of all places,” the British-accented drawl was accompanied by the flick of a lighter and accompanying fizzle of a flame. Tim groaned, mentally making a note to ask how in the world Marinette had known that John “Annoying asshole” Constantine was showing up soon, and if he could be in on the warning next time. Bruce, cowl still off, walked over from where he had been sparring with Damian and crossed his arms. He had also heard Marinette’s hasty exit, and made a few mental notes of his own before focusing on the exorcist in front of him.

“What do you want, Constantine?” he grumbled. Any time the blond brit showed up, things only got far more complicated than he ever enjoyed. And he always gave Bruce a migraine, to boot.

“Two things actually, Batsy,” John held up to fingers as his free hand tucked his lighter away in his pocket. His unlit cigarette stayed in his mouth though, probably just for the familiar feel of it. “One; I’m gonna need you to tell me why there was a portal closing when I walked in, because I’ll be honest. The implications there are way more interesting than what I came here for in the first place.”

“None of your business. What’s the second thing?” Bruce immediately shot him down, but John was not one to be deterred. He never fucking was.

“But you hate magic! You make sure I know that all too bloody well every time I pay you a visit, so why the sudden change in heart? Huh?”

“Drop it, Constantine. What. Do you. Want?”

“Fine, fine. I need your help with…”

— * — * — * — * — *

A week later, Marinette was sitting with Jason and Damian in one of the manor’s sitting rooms, the three of them just minding their own business and silently enjoying one another’s presence. Even if two of them would never admit it. Jason was reading Jane Eyre for the millionth time, Damian was leaning against Titus on the ground as he sketched, and Marinette was embroidering a sunhat. Unfortunately for her, Alfred the Cat was currently asleep on her lap and thus holding her hostage.

Even as Tikki flew up to her ear in a panic and whispered, making Marinette prick herself with her needle. She hissed for a second but shrugged off the familiar pain, much more concerned with whatever news Tikki had given her. Damian and Jason were already on high alert from the second that a whispered curse had left her lips, and were staring straight at her and her kwami and Marinette frantically tried to find a way to get up without awakening the cat sleeping on her.

“Uh, what’s wrong?” Jason asked, feeling thoroughly confused and left out. On one hand, he knew that if they were in physical danger she would have moved Alfred the Cat without hesitation. On the other, he did not like the sheer amount of anxiety he could see her experiencing. Marinette’s frantic eyes shot over to him, pupils mere pinpricks and hands mouth agape as she tried to form some sort of plan.

“Uh— “

“Ah! You must be the fair maiden that the Bats are comfortable with using magic around them,” John goddamned Constantine threw the door to the sitting room open wide, making it bounce off of the wall and lightly smack back against his shoulder. He ignored it as he grinned at the three younger people in the room, waltzing in casual as anything. He wagged a finger at her playfully. “I’ve been awfully curious about you, ya know? Brucie boy knows a shit ton of magic users, but he never likes seein’ any of us do our thing. And to not only allow you to teleport without any apparent discomfort but to actively protect your identity from me? Now that’s a damn accomplishment and I really gotta applaud you for it,” he mockingly clapped his hands a few times. “So what’s your secret, huh? I won’t tattle.”

“No thanks. Kaalki, a little help?” Marinette carefully pushed Alfred the Cat off of her lap before diving into the portal that Kaalki whipped up for her, the entire process happening so fast that Constantine couldn’t even get out a proper “hey!” before she was gone and the portal closed. He just nodded, hooking his thumbs in his pockets.

“Ya know what? Fair. That’s fair.”

“Goddamn it, Constantine!” Jason threw up his hands in frustration. “Why the fuck do you have to scare away one of the only sane people in this family?”

“Part of my charm, little red riding hood.”

— * — * — * — * — *

“You know, I’ve been pretty damn nice not teleporting right over to you whenever you disappear. So why don’t you just tell me why you’re avoiding me now that we happen to be in the same room by complete accident, huh?” John asked from where he sat in one of Bruce’s lounge chairs sipping on a beer. Marinette mimed choking him, clearly fed up. He had been trying to have a conversation with her for the past three months, ever since that one time he caught the tail end of her portal closing in the Batcave. Three. Long. Months. And he hadn’t given up, because something about this little Parisian teenager intrigued him. She was sixteen, that much he had gathered from the Bats. But to be sixteen and not only in possession of the Horse miraculous but also clearly the Ladybugs, since he had seen Tikki more than once as well, now that was interesting.

Anybody being in the possession of more than one Miraculous was already cause enough to be keeping an eye on them, which was why he had been keeping an eye on the Paris situation and had pieced together on his own that the presence of Tikki meant that this little parisian teenager was none other than Ladybug herself. Now, that? That was a whole new level of concerning, especially since he knew firsthand that the old Grand Guardian was gone and passed his title down to— yeah, Ladybug.

After that deduction, his interest in Marinette had swiftly switched from curiosity to fuck-I-need-to-know-what’s-going-on-here. Because no kid should have to deal with that kind of weight, and Constantine always looked out for kids when he could.

But right then, Marinette was glaring at him. She had been just coming over for a normal “family” dinner with the Waynes, which she attended from time to time. And apparently they had decided to have Constantine already over so that they could chaperone a meeting between them that would hopefully appease the stupid british magic user enough that he left them all alone again until the next time he needed help.

“Believe me when I say, you’d rather not know,” she replied sharply, glaring Dick. He was the one who had convinced her to come despite her recent close calls with Constantine in the past few days. He studiously avoided her gaze. “I just would rather not cross your path, and there’s no reason for us to interact. Why do you care, anyway?”

“You see, now that is an excellent question!” he chugged the last of his beer and gestured to her with the empty bottle. “Normally, I wouldn’t give a flying rat’s ass. But I’ve put two and two together, since I know who Tikki is,” he nodded to the red and black Kwami. “And maybe I just wanna keep an eye on the new Grand Guardian to make sure she’s doin’ alright. That’s an awful lot of magic and responsibility that you don’t deserve, but I’m not about to try to take it away. Keepin’ an eye on you is the next best thing.”

“Try again,” Marinette shot back, crossing her arms. “You were interested in me before you learned about me being Ladybug.”

“I’m nosy, what do you want me to say? I saw a portal in Batman’s man-cave, I get curious. Sue me.”

“Well. I have Bruce and everyone else already watching out for me, so you can leave me alone now. If I need your help, I’ll make sure to ask every other magic user first before contacting you.”

“Woah, now what’s all this venom for?”

“Uh, maybe we should go and actually eat dinner?” Dick tried to step in, hands up. Constantine had stood up from the chair he was in, which was usually a cue to change the subject as fast as possible. “Before Alfred has to come get us?”

“Maybe I’ll be less venomous if you let the subject drop and leave me alone!”

“Context would be nice, though.”

“Seriously guys, let’s go! Food!” Dick was once again ignored.

“Context is the last thing you need in this situation,” Marinette’s voice was suddenly soft, her arms dropping to her sides. “We’ve had this conversation so many times in so many now-deleted timelines. Just drop it this time.”

“If those timelines are now-deleted, then I obviously don’t remember what’s so bad about telling me why you’re acting like I’m some hated family member you’re avoiding!”

Silence.

Pure. Fucking. Silence. As they all watch with front row seats as Marinette flinches at the word ‘family’.

Pure silence as Constantine’s shoulders drop at the sight of her flinch, realization slapping itself on his face.

“No.”

“See? I fucking knew you would— that this would happen. This always happens, you always hate finding it out, but you’re so— so stubborn!” Marinette was blinking away tears, digging in her pockets and bringing out Kaalki’s glasses. “You’ll drop it now, at least. You always do.”

“Now what is that supposed to mean?” Constantine rubbed his forehead, still trying to sort through his amalgam of emotions. Marinette just shook her head, turning to Kaalki.

“Do you mind showing Monsieur Constantine the way out, Kaalki? I’ll grab you a load of sugar cubes afterward.”

“No, wait, hang on a second!”

A portal opened up under him, making John “Stubborn Idiot” Constantine drop ten feet down onto the hardwood, polished floor of his house. His bruised tailbone would take a while to heal, but his frazzled mind was by far the more concerning development. He staggered to his feet, reaching for the nearest bottle of tequila.

“Ugh, fuck my damn life.”

— * — * — * — * — *

“Marinette..?” Damian nudged the girl with his shoulder, frowning. It was after dinner that same day, and as much as he hated to admit it he had grown to actually like having her around. She was a good friend to have. And seeing her slumped back on one of their sofas, sketchbook covering her face and not a single rambling conversation to be had or heard? It was very concerning. She just made a groaning sound to answer him, prompting his frown to deepen. “Are you alright?”

“I just can’t believe that such a sweet, adorable thing like you is half made up of Constantine’s genes,” Jason mused bluntly from the opposite couch, where he tossed a rubber ball up and down out of boredom. “But now I see where you get all of your Disaster Bi-ness from.”

“Shut uuuuup,” She groaned, chucking her sketchbook at him. He caught it in midair, replacing his rubber ball with it and tossing it up and down in the air. “I’m just frustrated. This timeline is still perfectly stable, so I can’t erase it. And I can’t exactly ask ‘hey, can someone commit a horrid atrocity that makes this timeline split from the main one so that I can erase it and we can start over from four months ago?’ because that would be horribly irresponsible of me. But seriously, Jason. If you’re gonna ever commit, like, city-wise arson? I’d probably condone it right now if only so I have an excuse to use time travel to get out of this situation.”

“Not committing arson unless you give me a better reason for it, Pigtails.”

“Damn.”

“But are you okay?” Damian asked again, seeing as she had completely ignored him.

“I’m fine, Damian,” she finally sighed. “And I know how this is gonna go. He’s going to totally ignore me now, until we meet during some magical crisis and he only interacts with me when necessary. Then he pretends we never met, we have a private little one-sided whisper-argument about how he will never make a good father figure and I would be better off leaving him alone, blah blah blah. Avoidance is a coping mechanism I guess I inherited from him.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I’m trying to bite that in the bud then, eh?” Marinette startled out of her sitting position, seeing John stumble into the room…

Drunk off his ass. But apparently still at least mildly coherent.

“I agree with deleted-me’s, I’m not gonna be a dad. Not me,” he tripped, landing on his still-bruised ass and hissing in pain before continuing from the floor; “So if you’re looking for another Daddy dearest, that ain’t me.”

“See, I knew this is how you’d—”

“Let me finish,” he interrupted. “I don’t know how long the booze is gonna last and I need it’s courage here. ‘Kay? ‘Kay. Where was I? Right. But I know magic, ya know. The kind that doesn’t rely on little bobblehead gods to do. I got— like, a million books. Shit ton of books. At my place. Ya can read ‘em. My books. At my place. But I ain’t gonna parent, but I can lend ya books. Maybe give magic advice. Teach a little. Little bit. Didn’t think I’d have a child, but apparently I do and she’s the fuckin’ grand guardian and a damn hero, and I don’t know how the fuck I was able to help make someone like that. But whatever, it’s not like the world’s ever fuckin’ been easy on me,” He pulled out a sample-sized bottle of whiskey from one of the pockets on the inside of his trench coat and chugged it. After a brief wince and hiss at the burn, he kept rambling. “My door’s open, is what I’m tryin’ to say. No guarantee I’ll be in any state to talk to when you walk through it, but it’s open.”

Deciding to steadfastly ignore the tears streaming down her face, Marinette just swallowed thickly and nodded.

“I, uh. I think I can work with that.”

John barely made it to the nearby bin in time to vomit into it.

— * — * — * — * — *

I hate my imagination sometimes, guys. I started imagining a convo between Mari and Constantine at like 4am and it wouldn't leave me alone until I got it down. but by the time I wrote it, I kinda forgot like 60% of the original convo and just winged it. And this was born. I 100% blame @multifandomscribette because their Bio!dad John Constantine headcannons are amazing and even though this isn't in that universe, those headcannons are exactly what inspired this. So blame them, lol.

#dc x mlb #ml x dc #mlb x dc #maribat fanfic #maribat #maribat fic #miraculous ladybug x dc #bio!dad John Constantine

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mysticalrambling · 3 years ago

Note

Hello

I m new on your blog and read your work and i fell in love with your stories. I read you were interested in taking request so can you take my request too? I was wondering if you can write a steve rogers x reader, where y/n is his girlfriend and he leaves her after civil war and then they see each other in infinity war, he tries to patchup with her but she ignores him because in past he often compared her to peggy and also because she knew about him kissing sharon and she is hurt. During the fight she doesn't talks to him and when tony returns from space she still continues to ignore Steve and when he confronts her she snaps at him for hurting her for a long time. He apologizes and somehow they makeup and also him kissing sharon was misunderstanding because sharon kissed him. And then they are happy together and also in endgame the reader is worried steve will stay in past but he comes back and they get married with the team present and have kids and live happily

Happily Ever After (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: Steve comes back after Civil War and you are angry with him because he left you. You do not forgive him because you thought he cheated on you and he always compared you with Peggy. But he returns from the past when he chose you over Peggy and you forgive him. You eventually get married and expand your family.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

._._._._.

He stood right there in his Captain America shield with all his former glory. Your ex boyfriend looked the same but there were some differences like he had a full grown beard and he was more muscular. He kept staring at you with longing and pain but it was not even the half of what you experienced while he was gone.

“(Y/N), you need to take the position left to Steve.” Tony pulled you out of your trance and you just stared at him when you comprehended his order. He had been there for you from the moment Steve left you after the Civil War. Sitting with you when you couldn’t sleep at night and forcefully feeding you when you spent the whole day starving. He didn’t want you anywhere near Captain but you both always worked best together and there were much more important matters at hand.

“But Tony, I can be with Steve.” As much as Rhodey wanted to be away from all of the people that were responsible for his fall, he didn’t want you to suffer. They all had seen you fall apart on the Avenger base when you realised that your boyfriend left without saying good bye to you and without an explanation. Just telling Tony on a voice message to take care of you wasn’t enough.

“I’ll be okay, Rhodey. You are needed near the buildings so if some of the aliens escape our defenses, you can be there to protect the city.”

All of the avengers kept stealing glances at the both of you because they knew that it was only a matter of time before you exploded. But they were wrong. You were not the stubborn, hot headed woman that did not let anyone walk over her. That woman died when Steve left. He took her with himself.

"Take your positions and give them hell." Steve and you made your way towards your designated place.

"(Y/N), listen to me. I-"

"Do not talk to me. We are done." Keeping your eyes trained on the path, you avoided meeting his eyes.

"But, let me explain. I did not have a choice. You sided with Tony and I couldn't tell you that we were leaving." He tried to catch up with you but you were a woman on a mission.

"I did not side with Tony, I sided with the accords. And I was working my ass off to get you all out of there and I looked like a fool in the end." He collided in you as you abruptly stopped in your tracks.

"(Y/N), I didn't know-"

"You didn't know because you never tried to contact me. I was the one who had to go through multiple trials with the government because they thought I helped you all to escape." There were tears pooling in your eyes and Steve wanted to kill himself for being the cause. "I was benched for four months, for Gods sake."

You are reminded of those horrible times when you didn't know what your next step was going to be. The others tried to help you but you had to suffer through all the criticism alone. Some days you just wanted to leave it all behind and start a new life. But you weren't a coward. You wouldn't let anyone run over you like this and ruin your life. Getting back up was tough but you managed it. The day that you were allowed back on the field was the day that you decided you were not going to let anyone ruin your life.

"(Y/N), I made a mistake and I missed you so much." He tried to touch you but you flinched. A look of hurt passed his eyes and retracted his hands.

"Let's just fight. I want to kick some ass." The war crafts soon landed and you all got to fight. You had to admit that Steve was one of the best teammate that you had. He knew when to defend you and when to let you attack. You were busy fighting two of the aliens when one came from the back. Steve saw it and immediately came to your defense. You were never going to admit it but you missed this.

When the fight ended, you both made your way towards the main compound and saw all the avengers gathered together. Steve and you only had minor cuts throughout your body but nothing major. The moment you saw what all the commotion is about, your breath hitched. It was Tony with half of his skin burnt and taking his last breath.

Kneeling down beside him, you started crying. "Hey, it's okay. Just be happy and do not hold on to old grudges. Take care of family for me, please." Pepper was beside you and she started crying harder when she heard him. "Steve, come here for a second."

"I am so sorry for everything. You will always be my friend, Stark."

"We both were in the wrong, Cap. For what it's worth, do not lose (Y/N) because she is the best thing that has happened to you."

Tony was on his last breaths now and you both moved aside because Pepper wanted to have some last moments with him. There were some rifts in the team since the civil war but at this moment, you all were in this together. Tony was the one who brought you all together and saved many of you from your abusive lives. He was your best friend and you didn't know how you would spend your life without his sarcastic comments and his new inventions.

"You go, Tony. We are going to be okay. I love you." The words that left Pepper were a mere whisper but because of the pin drop silence, you were able to hear her.

"I love you too," Uttering his last words, he finally closed his eyes and all that could be heard were Pepper's wails of agony. Everything after it was a blur; the med bay, the briefing, the funeral. Time seemed to pass you by and you were numb the whole time. It was like a large piece of your heart was torn away from you and you didn't know how to react.

"(Y/N), can we talk?" Natasha lightly knocked on your door before you muttered a small come in. She looked around the room and noticed the lack of pictures in your room. The warmth that once radiated from your room was now gone. There were pictures of you with the team, with Steve and with Natasha. You liked to capture all the memories and it was one of the things the team loved about you.

"Hi."

"Hello. I just wanted to see how you were doing after everything."

"I am fine. Just processing everything." The loose thread on your blanket was the main focus of your attention right now.

"You don't seem fine. I know you, (Y/N)."

"No, you don't." Scoffing at her ridiculous statement, you felt anger bubbling inside your chest. "You were one of the first people who became my friend when I came to this tower. You knew I couldn't live without Chris and you. You both were my support system."

"(Y/N), I wanted to tell you everything. Believe me, I did. But we had to keep it a secret because we had to protect the other avengers as well."

"I have been listening to this reason from the past few days and I am done. I was ready to help you guys and you could have just contacted me once. I didn't know if you were dead or alive."

"I am sorry. I wanted to do it but it was never the right time. Half of the times you were surrounded by government officials. Can you forgive me?" The red head came and sat next to you on the bed.

"I can but I don't know if we can go back to the way things were."

"It's okay. We will be friends again. And as a new friend, I just want to tell you that Steve was miserable these past two years and he loves you so much."

"I don't want to talk about him, Nat. Let's go to the gym and spar."

"I am going to kick your ass as alway, (Y/L/N)."

"I have been practicing, Romanoff." You both went on to sparring and Natasha won in the end. However, the whole day you kept thinking about your ex boyfriend. He had been trying to talk to you from the past two weeks. It was hard for you to ignore him but you were now reminded of the times when he compared you with Peggy.

The small things that you did was always met with criticism like Peggy did not work in the field like this or Peggy wouldn't talk to him like a brat. Apparently, she was the mature one and you could never compare to her. Most of the times, you tried not to let the comments get to you but you were human. He might have done it unintentionally and you didn't want to hold it against him. But it hurt.

"We are going to talk today and you are not going to run away this time." He blocked you in the kitchen when you came out of your room to drink some water.

"Funny how you are saying that I am the one that is running away. Hypocrite much now, are we?"

"(Y/N), I am apologising to you because I can't live without you."

"You did so well for two years, I don't know why it is a problem now."

"I understand that you are angry with me. I wanted to be with you so bad but my duty as Captain prevented me from it." Your face was turned away from Steve but you turned towards him when you heard the words leave his mouth.

"Your job is more important than me?" Enraged, all you could see was red and you wanted to punch the daylights out of him.

"I thought it was but not anymore. You are the most important thing in my life and I don't want to lose you."

"Well, you have other women in your life so you don't need me."

"What other women?" Steve's confused gaze swept over your face when you spit those words out.

"I know about Sharon. You kissed her when we were still together. You cheated on me and I hate you for it." Pointing your fingers at his chest, you didn't realise when your voice started to rise.

Steve held your hands and pulled you close to his chest. "Sharon kissed me and I immediately backed off. I would never cheat on you."

You couldn't believe your ears right now. This was one of the things that helped you get over Steve. Believing that he cheated on you, made it a lot easier for you to despise him. Granted that never happened but it was still easier. However, he was still stuck in the past and he did not want to admit it.

"Even if Sharon is not a problem, you are still stuck in the past."

"What do you mean?"

"You are still in love with Peggy and I can not be your second choice anymore."

"Peggy has got nothing to do with this. She is dead and I love you."

"But I would have never been the one you loved if Peggy was here."

"That's not true. You both are totally different people and I love you now." Steve didn't know how to explain it to you. The things he felt for you were totally different for what he felt for Peggy. You made his breath hitch and his heart pounded whenever you smiled at him. He was so in love with you that he didn't think it was possible to love someone this much.

He knew that he compared you with Peggy before he left but at that time he was not ready to leave the past. It was unfair of him to do that to you while you tried very hard to meet all his expectations. However, he realised afterwards that you did not have to meet any of his expectations because you exceeded all of them. He felt so guilty and he just wanted to have you back in his life and forget about all the things that happened.

"I don't believe you."

"Please do. I want us to be okay before I go to return all the stones."

"You do that and then we can talk about us." He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before you could say anything. You were pretty sure that would stay back with Peggy and that's why you didn't want to reconcile things. You didn't want him to break your heart again.

"Ready to go, Cap?" Scott asked as he rechecked the time machine again. Everyone glanced at each other when he said that because they all thought that Steve might remain in the past for Peggy. They all had their doubts but everyone was scared to say them out loud. "You only have five seconds to get back before you are stuck."

"Ready." He glanced at you one last time and stepped in to the machine. You held your breath as Scott counted out loud and when he reached the number four, you were sure that he wasn't coming back. You were about to turn back when a snapping sound echoed throughout the room.

"I told you I will come back." Coming to a halt right in front of you, you couldn't believe your eyes. You pulled him in and kissed him ferociously.

"I love you."

"I love you too and remember that no one compares to you. I am really sorry."

"It's okay. You passed the test." When you both kissed again, all of your friends cheered for you.

As time passed by, you realised that Steve was the best person you could have possibly ended up. He was the literally the man of your dreams. Waking up to him every morning, cuddled up in your bed to going to bed with him kissing you goodnight. Steve made you breakfast every morning even when he was getting late and weekends were only reserved you.

The day that he proposed was still so clear on your mind. You remembered how he was nervous for a week that you thought something was seriously wrong with him. He would stutter and sweat when you got too close to him like it was a new relationship. There was a barbecue for the whole team on the compound and you all were gathered around the garden with drinks in hand. Everyone was enjoying it to the fullest when out of nowhere Steve knelt in front of you with a ring in his hand. After listening to his speech, you said yes with tears in your eyes.

"Are you ready?" Natasha asked you as she smoothed down your wedding dress that you spent months picking out.

"Yes." Pepper helped Morgan with the flower basket because the seven year old wanted to be the flower girl.

"Okay, then it's time." Walking down the aisle was worth it when you saw the adoration flicker in his eyes. He said some of the most heart warming words that had you ruining your eye makeup. It was a beautiful ceremony that only included close family and friends. You wanted a private wedding and you announced it to the world the next day. They all went crazy but the positive response was overwhelming to say the least.

Four months in to the wedding, you realised you were pregnant. Natasha was the one who sat beside when you waited for the test while Pepper brought a million of them for you. You were scared to tell him because you never discussed the possibility of having kids in detail.

"Just tell him. He is going to be ecstatic." Natasha tried to soothe you when you started crying with your face in between your hands.

"Okay. Steve will be home anytime soon."

"We should probably get going." Pepper and Natasha made their way towards the door and gently closed it.

"Hey, babe." Kissing you on the cheek, he immediately went to the washroom to take a shower.

"We need to talk."

"Sure. What's up?"

"I am pregnant." Blurting it out was not what you had planned but you couldn't think of another way. He stopped folding his armor midway and just looked at you with disbelief in his eyes.

"Are you serious? Oh my god. When did you find out? I am so happy, baby."

"I found out about an hour ago. And you are seriously happy?"

"Of course, I am. We will have a mini you or me with us in nine months. I love you, baby."

"I love you too." Keeping his hands on your stomach, he hugged you tightly and you knew that you got your happy ending. You were one of the luckiest people alive because you have a husband like Steve and now you were going to have family with him.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Taglist: @justile

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