#i totally look like an old Jewish man in that last one lol

[killerchickadee]

C2E2 picture spam

I'm a special little guy

Me and my bro @eightertrek

The vibe was GREAT this year. I got a million compliments on my costume and he got a million compliments on his hat. I'm glad I don't live in Chicago anymore but the people there are great.

[sunthyme]

Ah... welcome to another instalment of my headcanons. I lowkey lied again but I think my prefect will be the last of the headcanons to come out. Tyty for all the love, as always, and now...

🪶The NRC Staff🪶

Trying to find characters I hadn't already twisted for my student ocs to make my staff ones was such a pain 😭😭😭 but here they are!!

🐦‍⬛Dire Crowley🐦‍⬛

(he/it) - Bisexual

The most USELESS HEADMASTER EVER!!! God, I know his SSR card looks great but I won't pull for it istg this bitch. We could have had Sam or Crewel but nooooo...

- I wanted him to look a bit older but since we don't know his age, I didn't push it too much. No spoilers for book 7 but I assume he's probably fae or smth idk.

- You'll notice I honestly didn't change much about the staff in general but I do like most of their design already. Kept his sclera dark cause it looked cool and made the gold eyes pop.

- He talks in a weird mix of old language that literally no one uses, like hella old-fashioned, and poorly used teen lingo. He's trying... A for effort, ig.

- His house and office are super cluttered with a ton of stuff he's found throughout the years but knows exactly where things are. His memory's actually incredibly good, he's just lazy. He likes to collect teaspoons.

- Later in the story, when he starts kinda view the prefect as his kid of sorts, it starts dropping off little trinkets at Ramshackle. Various things from old photos to books with old annotations to pretty rocks. He just wants the prefect to make the dorm 'more homey'.

- I'll get into this more with my prefect design but when Crowley attended NRC (in my headcanon idk if he actually did), he was a Ramshackle student. As such, my MC is using his old uniform as he didn't have any extra ones.

- He really likes cats but they just fcuking hate him. Lucius hisses everything he see Crowley. This is why he cries himself to sleep.

Enough of my dead-beat dad, onto the good dad!

🐕Divus Crewel🐕

(he/they) Transmasc - Panasexual

The good father-figure!! I love Crewel. Also, ignore me misspelling his name in the big one, I thought it had two 'l's...

- He is my Mexican father. Idk they give like simultaneously abuelita and Mexican mom vibes and I am so here for it. (Apparently also Jewish grandma vibes according to @thearchiveofalexandria but I wouldn't know lol).

- I also think he'd be older, like late 40s/early 50s but because of those anti-ageing Mexican genes, they look like 30. (Literally, my mom gets mistaken for being that young, she's in her 50s) Gave him some gray hair at the back but don't be fooled, that's just from putting up with Crowley's bullshit. The shit that goes down in-game for sure results in a couple grey hairs for poor Crewel.

- Is the father figure I never knew I needed, well, my prefect anyway. I know my MC would go to him for anything ranging from 'Crowley's threatening to cut off my water supply!' to 'Can you help me make a Halloween costume?' and his ass always helps. Stan Papa Crewel.

Oh god, this next one was HELL ON EARTH I hate drawing masculine men...

🏈Ashton Vargas🏈

(he/him) - Heterosexual

God, I hate Vargas' og design. The worst part is it does it's job, I couldn't find much to change. Also, didn't even know he had a first name lmaooo.

- I gave him more of a beard because it looked so fcuking bad without it ong 😭😭😭 I hated this... that's pretty much all I did.

- That being said, I do think Vargas wants the best for his students. Wait. Dad-bod Vargas. Guys, I just had an epiphany.

- He's got a wife, kids in like elementary school, and like two dogs idk. I feel like he's older thirties. He's giving total family man and likes to cheer on his students like they're his kids too.

- I feel like he's got mad ADHD and it's one of the reasons he became a gym teacher, just to be constantly moving and doing stuff.

My opinion of Vargas has increased while writing this. Onto my funky uncle...

🏷️Sam Cecil🏷️

(he/they/it) Genderqueer - Asexual Aromantic

I LOVE SAM!!📢📢

- They're like mid-twenties, I don't know if they went to college but if they did, they were a business major. I gave him a last name too, idk the fact that he didn't have one made me mad. Cecil cause Dr. Facilier had a daughter named Cecilia apparently.

- I tossed in a couple more piercings and I love the idea that he has tattoos too.

- He's like the fun uncle that occasionally sponsor your weird ideas. Wanna make cookies at 3am? His store's still open. Need some Nerf guns? He's got 'em. If he says it's in stock, he will literally have anything. Don't ask, he won't answer you anyway.

- Also has crazy good like and low-key knows the future but typically drops hints in a joking manner. He's also very good at communing with the dead, sales for sessions are discounted in October.

- Incredibly rich. Probably canon given his store branches and the crazy shit he has in his shop but I felt the need to reaffirm it.

- Also supplies Ramshackle with snacks and groceries. My MC works at its shop part time in return but I firmly believe that it'd refuse to let the MC starve.

Now for the gramps,

📚Mozus Trein📚

(he/him) Transmasc - Heterosexual

- Trans old man, idk. He is to me. Also, he's both the history and literature teacher.

- Also changed pretty much nothing lol, he's just an old trans man whose sick of Crowley's bullshit (you'll notice a running theme).

- All the grandpa memes and stereotypes are so true for him. His drinks tea every afternoon, plays chess with Crewel (that's canon btw), and squints whenever you try to show him something, especially on a phone.

- He uses a flip phone mobile-y but his house has a rotary one. His daughters keep telling him to replace it but he refuses, saying modern one are too complicated. His daughters also went to Royal Blade as he originally worked there before recently transferring to NRC.

- Hates pumpkin-flavoured anything so doesn't care much for fall. Winter is his favourite season though as he loves sitting with Lucius by the window on snowy days and reading. Very academiacore, gramps.

- He totally advocated for NRC to allow students to use preferred names.

Onto the ocs!!

🪐Mèng yáo Yuan🪐

(she/they/it) Agender - Biromantic Demisexual

- First up is Mèng yáo, twisted from the Horned King from The Black Cauldron. Never seen it personally but @thearchiveofalexandria has and recommended I use its villain.

- She's Chinese and a fae of sorts so she's likely quite old, though she looks in her twenties.

- She's the astrology and philosophy teacher because I thought it would make for a good course since it's mentioned in passing in Book 4.

- She's also skilled in potionology and she and Crewel test out potions for Crewel to teach in class. She is intrigued by the concept of immortality but it's more of a passive study for her.

- She's really bad at getting jokes, though she tries. She's generally not too familiar with modern human concepts but does her best to learn.

Finally,

💎Kore Gorgon💎

(she/her) - Sapphic

- Kore is based on Madame Medusa from The Rescuers, which, fair warning, I ALSO haven't seen. I really needed villains though lol. I read the wiki page and prayed tbh.

- She's around her mid-fifties and is the Math and Physics teacher. She works to integrate known magical physics with standard math and physics and teaches such.

- Her wife is named Crystal (based on an inspo character for Madame Medusa) and they're Kyra's adoptive parents. This is a small nod to Madame Medusa having two pet crocodiles. Kyra kept her parent's names as a sort of way to remember them but likes her adoptive moms a lot too.

- Kore's name is a reference to another name for Persephone and is associated with not only 'the maiden' with the underworld as well.

- She loves shiny things and adores being dressed to the nines all the time. She has a small collect of pretty rocks and tends to decorate her classroom with various trinkets.

- She and Crewel get along super well as their personalities are rather similar. (Fun fact: Madame Medusa not only was heavily inspired by Cruella De Vil, but also served as an origin for Ursula's design.)

- She has bipolar disorder and does her best to work around it, sometimes having pre-recorded lectures if she's not able to be in person.

I'll be sharing my designs for some side and family characters tomorrow so stay tuned! Love y'all!🩷🩷🩷

[corvidcrybaby]

20 Author Questions

Shout-out to @the-frankenman-writes for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

4 - I actually only started publishing fics a little over a year ago and my main project has been a still-running longfic so I haven't been able to build up much of an archive thus far LOL.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

408,653. The longfic is a fucking TOME.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment, just Hellsing. I do intend to publish some Castlevania fanfiction soon, and I've got a couple of larger OC fics planned for Demon Slayer and My Hero Academia.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Guess I'm listing all my fics in order with an empty bottom slot, oopsie!

formulas fatal to the flesh - Alucard (Hellsing)/Transfemme Jewish Reader fic that also serves as the "pilot" for my OC longfic. I originally started writing this as a means of exploring my sexuality in the wake of HRT changing a lot of things about my desires whilst also issuing a love letter to my favorite series. Then everything got intense.

2. Interview With the Impaler - Alucard (Hellsing)/Transfemme Reader. This was me trying out some new ideas with how I write Alucard as well as just trying to contribute to the transfemme reader insert pool. It's really nice when you don't have to mentally change the genitals of the reader insert you're reading about to put yourself in their shoes and enjoy the fantasy, so I like providing more of it.

3. lesions of a different kind - Alucard Hellsing/Transfemme Jewish OC. My longfic, my baby, my first foray into long-form storytelling. She's choppy, she's unhinged, she's full of bigger ideas than I know what to do with, but damn it all, I'm having fun with her. This is the main story of Zemira Shani Makhabi, my homebrewed blorbo and shameless self-critique. She started out as a reader insert before I decided to turn her into a golem allegory full of meta commentary on what it means to relate to a fictional character. That, and so much BDSM shit like oh man so FUCKING much.

4. Operation: GREENHOUSE - Pip Bernadotte (Hellsing)/Zemira Shani Makhabi. In dead last, a fic involving a character who is unfortunately not very popular to write about, but I happen to find incredibly hot in his own right. Technically AU of an AU fic too? IDK man I just wanted to write steamy smut about these two because I thought their dynamic was fun bwahahaha

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely I do! They really motivate me to continue and I love connecting with people based on how they perceive my work.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

MWEHEHEHEHE that'd be Interview With the Impaler. I used the Mean Alucard tag for a reason. I may continue this story yet tbh, because I could make it ever angstier.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Operation: GREENHOUSE. Just ends with those two snuggling and teasing each other. Easy shit.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'm extremely lucky to have never gotten a mean comment and hope it never happens.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

LITERALLY EVERYTHING I WRITE IS SMUT BWAHAHAHAHA I lean heavy on a few tropes - maledom/femsub shit, mind break/hypnosis/heat/etc, and a constant obsession with men's hands. Hands in general, tbh, I get really horny about hands.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've never published a crossover but I like the idea of one. I would need to find two series which I REALLY wanted to compare and contrast.

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

None that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

See above

13. Have you ever co-writtten a fic before?

Nothing that's published, but a pal of mine and I are cooking something cool up rn... You know who you are.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ALUTEGRA BAYBEEEEEEEEEEE my beloved genderfuck angst-fest full of questions about monstrosity vs. humanity and forbidden desires and old souls and and and and look do you know how hard it is to have an OTP that literally never touch in the original series

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't have any right now but I live in constant fear I'll wake up one day without the drive to finish Lesions. That would make me so sad.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can write really visceral gore and snappy action scenes, I can construct a layered character like a motherfucker, and I'm pretty damn good at dialogue, I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

OOF. Plot. Fucking PACING. I feel like my stories can sometimes feel like super compelling personalities flopping about in a sandbox. Which can work, for some cases, but I try to deliver on the promise of a compelling plot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It really depends. I've seen writers do it with tags for the translated words? It seems to work best for small, potent exchanges.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think this honor actually goes to Pokemon. I was doing a Nuzlocke comic once upon a time!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Probably Lesions, thus far, lol

Tags: @neet0 @rotten-hearts-sharp-teeth @brunette-barbie42

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Tilting at Wind Mills

(Yes I know Bucky isn’t Jewish in the movies. No, I don’t care, he’s Jewish in every fic I write lol)

MCU/Mrs. Maisel Crossover.

1941

"I just don't see why I can't come with," Steve complains as he watches his friend get dressed up. "I'd be respectful."

"Because you can't fast," Bucky reminds him. "Yom Kippur is the one where you can't eat, remember? You'd black out in synagogue." 

Steve sighs. "Bring me leftovers from the break fast?" 

Bucky grins. "That I can do. Okay. Off to the Upper West Side I go. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll meet a rich, pretty girl."

It earns him an eye roll. "Leave."

He does. 

*****

He steps up in front of the ornate apartment building and adjusts his tie as his sister steps up to join him. 

"Ready for a fun-filled day of atonement with the family who has no idea what to do with us?" Ricky Barnes asks teasingly. 

"An entire day with the Sackville-Weissman's," Bucky jokes. 

Ricky rolls her eyes. "You and your Tolkein."

"If you'd just give it a chance-"

"Are you two going to come upstairs and join us?" 

It's a familiar voice. Tired and elderly, but infused with warmth, and soon both of them are wrapped in the arms of their grandfather. 

"Hi, Zeyde," they chorus. 

He chuckles. "Hello, kinder. I was just taking a walk. Getting away from the chaos of trying to convince Noah that God doesn't want him to eat today."

Bucky chuckles. "Every year with that kid." 

Chaim Weissman looks them both over critically. "You both look good. Strong. I was worried after your mother passed last year…"

"We're not that far away to check on, Zeyde," Ricky reminds him carefully. 

"That's on me," he admits. "Brooklyn is full of memories. I miss your mother very much. I never dreamed outliving one of my children." 

Bucky squeezes the man's shoulder. "Let's go check on Uncle Abe. See if he's blown a gasket yet."

*****

Services are long, and Bucky is hungry but he's got an eight-year-old girl cousin who is funny and they make dumb faces at each other when no one is looking. 

Noah and Midge are significantly younger than Bucky, but it's kind of nice. Noah is twelve and too smart. Midge, the aforementioned eight and funny and intuitive. 

Bucky isn't comfortable with his uncle and aunt's wealth (adding Sackville to the front of their name isn't a total joke), but he loves seeing his cousins and grandfather. 

These dinners used to end in arguments, before Bucky's mother passed away. About family responsibility. About money. About the fact that the Weissman's have quite a lot, while the Barnes branch rarely had enough (mostly due to Bucky and Ricky's father magically disappearing back in 37).

"You know, James," Aunt Rose tells him at break fast as their housekeeper (fuck, seriously?) serves the food. "There are some lovely girls I could introduce you to."

Zeyde tries not to roll his eyes. 

"I'm good, thank you," Bucky assures her. "I'm not really ready to settle down." 

"Of course not," Uncle Abe agrees. "He's young, Rose. He's sowing his oats." 

"And we’re likely going to war soon," Zeyde chimes in. "James is strong. They'll want him to fight." 

Midge taps him on the shoulder from next to him at the table and Bucky leans down to listen as she whispers in his ear. 

"Don't die, or I'll find you in the afterlife and give you a wedgie."

Bucky laughs and wraps her in his big arms, giving her a tight hug. "Okay, Midge. You got it." 

*****

1945

At thirteen, Miriam Weissman attends her first funeral. 

There's no body to bury, so it's really just a memorial for her cousin. 

Bucky was always nice to her. Good natured and charming. Quick-witted. On Hanukkah when she was six, he taught her to make potato knish from scratch while Zeyde critiqued from the kitchen table. 

"No side seat cooking," Bucky had joked. "You wanna teach her, you come over and teach her." 

There's a handsome blonde man -Captain America - speaking to the congregation about her cousin. About what kind of man he was, and it all rings true. 

Midge remembers Steve. He used to come with Bucky to dinners sometimes. Small. Always polite. When she was little, he drew her a pretty picture of a flower that she still has framed on her wall. 

He looks so deeply sad, and Midge looks at her hands to avoid crying. 

Captain America dies not long after Bucky does. 

She pulls the picture he drew off her wall and stows it away. 

****

1950

Just before he passes away, Chaim Weissman promises his pretty granddaughter he'll make good on that wedgie when he catches up to James in the afterlife. 

Midge laughs and cries at that. 

*****

November, 1954 

“Congratulations,” a soft voice says. The accent is British, and Midge frowns as she turns her head. 

She gave birth to her first child just a few hours ago, and she’s exhausted, so she’s not even sure if this is real, but there, sitting next to her is a beautiful woman. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Dressed in a sharp skirt suit. 

“Thanks?” Midge tries, blinking rapidly.  

The woman smiles. “We haven’t met. My name is Peggy Carter. I worked with your cousin, Sergeant Barnes and his friend, Captain Rogers.” 

Midge blinks rapidly, looking surprised. “I…did you find something? Did you find-” 

Peggy reaches out then, placing a hand on Midge’s. “I’m sorry. No. That isn’t why I’m here. I’m here to ask for your help.” 

“Me?” Midge asks. 

Peggy nods. “My agency has multiple operatives who work under deep cover,” she explains. “It’s very dangerous. It’s very isolating. It’s difficult for them, at times, to keep their humanity intact. Bucky spoke fondly of you. That you were his favorite cousin. I know that you’ll be busy with your new addition for a while. But after…I was wondering if I could send them your way for a warm meal every now and then.” 

Midge bites her lip. 

“You won’t be involved in anything they’re doing,” Peggy promises. “You won’t be asked to carry secrets. They’ll be sent in under the guise of old friends of your cousin’s. And in quite a few cases, it won’t be a lie. Just dinner.” 

Midge thinks about that for a moment. About how she wishes she could make knish with her favorite cousin again. 

And she nods. “Give me a few months to get this motherhood thing under control, and then send ‘em my way.” 

Peggy smiles at her. “You’ll get forty-eight hours warning each time. Expect a call in six months.” 

“Your friends better be ready for the best meal of their lives,” Midge smirks. 

The older woman chuckles as she gets to her feet. “You are very related to James Barnes.” 

“Damn right.” 

*****

1955 

“Who’s coming over for dinner?” Joel asks. 

Midge smiles. “Just an old friend of my cousin’s.” 

“And his name is Dum-Dum?” Joel scoffs. “What the fuck kinda name is that?” 

Midge shrugs and smiles wider. 

***** 

December 1957

At eight months pregnant with baby number two, Midge knows she shouldn't be running around late at night, but she forgot the extra potatoes for the knish tomorrow and she can't sleep anyway, so she finds herself at a corner market. 

There's only one other shopper this late and he's a big man in a bulky coat, gathering pears into a bag. 

There's something unsettling about the man. And familiar. 

"Late night snack?" She asks. 

He glances at her. 

"I forgot the potatoes for the knish. My husband hates them but I love them." 

Still no answer, but he becomes more familiar the more she looks at him. 

Midge tilts her head. "You remind me of someone." 

He drops his pears and storms out.

She frowns down at them, laying on the floor, the only evidence the man was ever there at all. 

*****

1964

Lenny Bruce loves his second wife but some fucking times he is very confused by her. 

Like now. 

He's hanging out with her on tour in California. It's late. He's tired. But he's chasing after her as her heels click quickly down the street. 

"Midge-"

"Saw a ghost!"

"Midge, for christ sake, what does that even mean?" 

"What do you mean what does that mean? It means I saw a ghost."

"Friend or foe?" Lenny asks. 

"Family."

"So both."

She stops and frowns as she looks around the empty LA street. "I could have sworn…" 

Lenny catches up, taking her hand and giving her a gentle tug. "Midge, talk to me."

Midge bites her lip, looking around and then back at him. "I had a cousin die in action in 45."

Lenny frowns. "I didn't know…"

"Papa had an older sister," Midge explains. "She had two kids, and one was a boy. James. His name was James and he was fun. Nice to me. Anyways, I…they never recovered his body, and…just before Esther was born I ran into someone who looked…so much like him. In the eyes. And now…" 

"That guy on the corner?" 

She nods. 

He pulls her close. "You know, grief is strange, and long, Sweetheart. I'm not saying you're crazy, but this might be leftover shit from his death."

Midge considers that, cuddling in against him. "I guess it could be. I was so sure, though." 

"Evening, folks," a man says with a smile as he walks up. "Late for anybody to be wandering around."

"Well, we're comics," Lenny explains. "Terrible creatures of the night. And ghost hunters, apparently."

"Say, you're Lenny Bruce and Midge Maisel," the man marvels. "I don't suppose I could get an autograph." 

Midge smiles kindly and unwraps from Lenny. "If you've got paper and pen, we've got autographs. Who are we making it out to?" 

"Alexander," he replies, as he pulls out a little pad of paper and a pen. "Alexander Pierce." 

Lenny watches the man as he waves the pen in a strange way, and suddenly the street seems to settle around them in a way it hadn't before. As if someone who wasn't supposed to be there in the first place had gone. 

He signs quickly, letting Midge make small talk with this Pierce guy, and when they finally head back for their hotel, Lenny is so fucking relieved. 

*****

2014

The Village Vanguard 

"Good evening, everyone. I'm Mrs. Maisel and Captain fucking America is sitting in the back, holy shit."

The crowd- Steve included - laughs. 

"I have a secret to tell you," she says closely to the microphone. "I knew Captain America when he was just a scrawny Brooklyn kid who could get knocked over by a stiff breeze. And boy fucking howdy do I have stories." 

Steve laughs more and shakes his head. Sam is laughing too. 

"Have you ever watched a 98 pound gentile try to flirt with the tallest Jewish girl in the room?" Midge asks. "Let's settle in. It's summer, 1939. He is the only goy at our Catskills resort, and he is in it to win it with Shira Farber, who is six foot one and could break him in two. Now, as a little girl I just thought it was silly. As an adult? I have to ask: Steve, are you just really into women stepping on you? Because that is what would have happened if you'd succeeded." 

The audience laughs and Steve rubs his face. "I asked for this by showing up, didn't I?"

"Getting roasted by an 81 year old woman who's done it professionally since the 60s? Yeah." 

"Is it wrong to talk about Captain America and sex?" Midge asks. "Does being a symbol of the ideal America preclude you from wanting a good fuck? Not that he has to want to fuck, but is it because he doesn't want to fuck or because the government doesn't want him to fuck? I bet those USO girls back in the day knew the answer to that question." 

Sam slowly looks at Steve. 

Who turns red. 

"I mean that begs the question: is the American dream sexless?" Midge asks. "We've always been disturbingly puritanical, haven't we? My late husband got arrested how many times for dirty jokes? Where is the we like to fuck political party? Where's the candidate handing out Plan B at their town halls? You know. Just in case. Sure, we want liberty, but a lot of us also want orgasms. What is congress' plan to increase getting off in the coming fiscal year? Not that kind of coming. I mean I hope I'll be coming sometime in the next fiscal year." 

Sam laughs loudly at that. 

"Yeah, Mr. Falcon thought that was funny. I bet he fucks." 

Steve laughs at that one as Sam shrugs sheepishly. 

"Can you imagine being the woman to take Captain America's virginity?" Midge asks. "Steve, when you made it with a woman for the first time, did you sing the National Anthem?" 

Steve laughs and plays along. "My Country Tis of Thee!" He calls back, making the audience, and Midge laugh. 

"Good answer," Midge praises. "People think Captain America, they think patriotism. They think of earnest heroism. I think that guy at the Seder table who insisted on eating the horse radish and then hogged the bathroom for an hour. Steve, you were not the only one with a sensitive stomach that night Steve." 

"Seven days of Passover, seven days of lighting a scented candle in the bathroom because you may think Captain America's shit smells like fresh apple pie, but I can assure you it does not." 

Amidst the applause she beams. "I'm Mrs. Maisel. You've been wonderful. Captain America is still a great sport. Thank you and goodnight!" 

*****

Midge smiles at them as she sits in the little dressing room. 

"Hi, Midge," Steve grins sadly. "Great set." 

"Thanks for playing along," she says. "But I'm guessing you're here about Bucky." 

Steve nods solemnly. "I guess you heard."

"Hard not to," Midge tells him. "When they didn't find the body, his sister and my grandfather held out hope that maybe he'd survived…and now I know that the handful of times I thought I saw him, I probably did. Maybe…maybe he remembered me a little through the brainwashing." 

"We're gonna find him," Sam promises. 

She smiles sadly. "If you do, tell him Cousin Midge says hello." 

*****

2018

To the Ruler of Wakanda, King T'Challa 

My name is Miriam Weissman-Bruce. The world at large mostly knows me as Midge Maisel, and I make people laugh for a living. 

We've never met, but it seems your country is currently taking care of a family member we all thought had died back in the 40s. 

I write to you because he hasn't returned any of my letters. I know he's received them. Wakandan mail is top notch, and I know he has the ability to write back; The idiot lost his non-dominant hand. 

I think he's too ashamed to talk to me. 

I write to you not just to complain like the truly Jewish woman I am, but to request permission to visit him in Wakanda. I ask no special treatment (though if you have comedy clubs, I'd be more than happy to perform and make fun of America for your citizens), I only want to see James sooner rather than later. I'm pushing 90. I'm figuring I don't have time for him to get his shit together. 

Can I say 'shit' to foreign royalty? I guess I'll find out. 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Miriam "Midge Maisel" Weissman-Bruce 

*****

Bucky Barnes narrows his eyes as Ayo holds the hand of a small, shriveled white woman, helping her through the field toward Bucky’s hut.

“You know, I know several fashion designers who would cut off their own left foot to make clothes for you,” the older woman chats. “Really. You are stunning. And so tall.” 

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, realizing who the old woman is. He holds back tears and takes a breath. “Everybody’s tall to you Midge. You’ve been short your whole life.” 

“The curse of the Ashkenazi Jewish woman,” Midge jokes. “Short as fuck.” 

“What is she doing here, Ayo?” 

“She petitioned our king for a visit,” Ayo tells him. “And she promised him a comedy show. And then when she got here, she insisted on cooking for the royal family to express her gratitude.” 

“We’re Jews,” Midge chimes in. “We’re very good at feeding people.” 

“Are you telling me you made dinner, and I missed it?” Bucky asks, feeling deeply disappointed suddenly. 

“It’s tomorrow night,” Midge assures him, waving the free hand that isn’t holding onto Ayo. “I was told I had to come knock some fucking sense into you first.” 

“Sense?” Bucky asks, offended.

“Fucking sense,” Midge corrects him. “Not responding to my letters. What the fuck, James?” 

“I like her,” Ayo grins as she helps Midge settle onto a little bench near the hut. “I cannot believe you are related. She is much funnier than you are, Barnes.” 

“Well, she did make a career out of it,” Bucky points out. 

Midge looks up at him curiously. “You’ve heard my material?” 

“When I found out, I bought all your records,” he tells her, sitting next to her and taking her hand. “Hi, Midge.” 

Her eyes well up with tears and her unsteady hand squeezes his. “Hi, Bucky. How’s life?” 

“Oh, you know,” he shrugs his shoulders. “I caught some fish yesterday.” 

Midge laughs and shakes her head. “My husband loved to fish. You would have hated him and then loved him after you got to know him better.” 

Bucky smiles, letting go of her hand to wrap his arm around her. “Tell me all about it.”

[wadesprincessboy]

Some old friends of mine found out i went on holiday to Israel twice and dropped me, calling me a terrorist supporter because I dared step foot in my mother's home town. What they failed to notice was 1) i was a small child, i had no choice, and 2) i went there because my mother had been given months to live and it was her last wish! To visit home again! Luckily, she is still with us today, but like ????? She went there to see her home one last time. And the time we went previously was because she wanted me to visit the Kotel and she wanted to visit her mother's old home.

The "friends" of mine didnt know any of this. They just told me i was evil and blocked me (they were online friends). They didnt even ASK why i was there.

And the worst part? Those friends? They were Jewish -_- they were anti-zionist Jews who just....hated other Jews for visiting our holiest site????? Idk man.

Also, as a fellow NZ Jew (I believe I recall a post previously of yours OP stating you're in NZ, correct me if Im wrong), I totally get that fear. I recently attended my local pride event, and my mother wore a shirt that said "Pride" in Hebrew. I wore my Magen David necklace. We both received dirty looks from many people, and in the end both ended up leaving early, because we felt unsafe. A year prior we went to the same event, both wearing the same things, and had zero issue.

I also hesitate to tell anyone irl that im Jewish, because i just know what the next question will be ("oh god are you a zionist?!") and if i answer wrong i could be in danger. And its not Palestinians who do this. Its mostly white people who actually know nothing about the situation and just like to trend hop and be seen as correct all the time.

What also sucks about being Jewish here in Aotearoa, is how effing small the community is. There are two synagogues in my town and im lucky for that! As theres only like....6? Ish? In the entire country. I say my town but its over an hour away lol. But yeah, one synagogue is orthodox and would be unlikely to accept a gay trans person, and the other is the one I used to attend before they started protecting abusers! And putting really shitty people on the board -_-

Also to add more somewhat unrelated complaints: the big left wing party in Aotearoa? Yeah they kinda suck ass. Last I checked they were rather antisemitic, and also make some really shitty statements? Not to mention all the other crappy stuff. And our other options are just right wing!

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, i just wanted to get that off my chest. Hope you're doing well this evening!

You know what? I'm still not over that fucking post.

Like there are multiple reasons as to why someone would like to visit Israel. It could be to see a religious site which is important to them, and not even just jewish site, muslim, Christian or Baha'i sites too. They could have family they want to visit.

There are multiple reasons as to why someone would want to send a gift to Israel. It could be their family members birthday, someone could have just beaten cancer, someone could be in the hospital dying and you want to give them something to make their last few weeks not utterly terrible.

And whilst this is not new, it is just straight up xenophobia. Israeli government bad is something that is well established, but it's not like Israeli citizens or the citizens of any country are their government.

And yeah, it does really piss me off and make me actually mad that my ex friend reblogged that.

I literally have to avoid certain parts of town because strangers who do know my opinion will see that I'm visibly jewish and harass me. I have had to avoid going to things I've been invited to because the organizer has made some posts with could be construed as either being normal about jews and Palestinians or be antisemitic and I don't want to risk it. I have to do a fucking jew test on any potential romantic or sexual partners to make sure they are normal about jews before we go on a date in case they find out I'm Jewish on the date and I get attacked.

And literally all of this behavior does not come from Palestinians. It comes from non Palestinians, mainly white people, who appropriate Palestinian suffering as their own and act because of that. I have so much more patience for Palestinians because of what they go through than a random white person.

And honestly, I just cannot stop thinking about what would've actually happened if I stayed friends with my ex friends. If they would've harassed or attacked me. And I worry to this day that the Judenhass will get too much and they'll fucking doxx me.

[samnyangie]

Personal reviews on RSL filmography

Rsl, iI thought it’d be a good idea to record my thought on each films rsl was in, it was something I always wanted to do...

Rsl in total, was starred in (excluding tv series etc) 27-ish films, to be honest, considering his years as an actor(approximately more than 30 years) he wasn’t starred in that many. We all know why lol

Just saying I’m not a film expert, therefore the list is very subjective.

The reviews with trigger warning (r*pe, g*re etc): Tape, Killer: Journal of Murder, A glimpse of hell. Tho in the writing I’ve censored them with * since I don’t feel comfortable saying them here

There isn’t particular spoilers except for dps, tape, and ground control

The favourites (literally my life time films)

Dead Poets Society

I assume many would agree, and as many would have, it was my first ever rsl film, like I was on the plane and it was one of the films they offered, and I was like, oh I think i heard of this, so I watched and instantly loved it. The message is very relevant to this day, the cinematography is very beautiful and somehow nostalgic. I was horrified with Neil’s death. Tbh now I’ve seen too many memes and all kind of things from the fandom (which I’m grateful for!) I thought the heartfelt I once had would deluded a bit, however when I watched it again last April with my family at the cinema and it still moved me very deeply.

The age of Innocence

Okay, unpopular opinion here, I love this so much. It’s my all time favourite rsl film. It even outruns dps tiny winy bit haha. Aside from how he had tiny winy screen time, appearing at the end but the fact that he played quite an important role and him being gorgeous in it just<33 I couldn’t help but smiling! It just the whole film was so much of my cup of tea? The melodrama and the hypocrisy hidden by elegance among the upper social classes in 19th century is just what I needed. The more I watch it, the more I understand the characters and their emotions, it’s one of those films you should keep visit to discover the things you weren’t aware of before. I watched it again this morning and i couldn’t stop thinking about it. However, I know some people find it boring and I understand why, my sister is one of them lol(except for a bit where rsl was in) but i think it’s more complex than what it appears to be at a first glance haha. In conclusion, it became one of my comfort film to watch time to time. 

The ones I like<33

Swing kids

At first viewing, I didn’t expected much because it had underwhelming reviews but when I actually saw it, I thought it was quite decent and more and more I watched it, I felt like it was underrated. Yes, I think some directing choices were bit old fashioned and cheesy especially the ending, I’m not saying it was a perfect masterpiece but it deserves more recognition than it has now. Also in spite that there’re some parts being too simplified, it touched on something other films about ww2 normally don’t. It was interesting to see the German perspective on it than Jewish or the allies perspective like many of them does, but of course the latter perspectives matter, it could be argued that they more valid than the former, which partly was where sk criticised for, however, the portrayal of the varied reactions of the German people (in this one particular the teenagers) has its value in their on way. Anyway along side with it, the music and the dance scenes were great, without exaggeration, though Swing kids isn’t my fav, peter’s solo dance scene is my favourite scene in any movies I’ve ever watched. I mean that scene had both visuals and meaning as it demonstrated Peter’s determination as well as resentment with a hitch of unsureness. Rsl acting in that scene was just phenomenal, it’s not about showing off the dancing skills but he portrayed every mixed emotions peter has from his expression and the moves, I just can’t talk about this enough especially this scene was the reason I started fallen for him. lol

Much ado about nothing

Much ado is something I never seen anything like so it was a refreshing exprience. I barely watched Shakespeare on screen kind of thing. Though I felt there were some bits too cheesy for me but they are also the charms in the same time, and the cinematography was pretty also Claudio aka rsl, it was like an official announcement of declaring my worship on this man. Especially it was after SWING KIDSSSS so I couldn’t help it now everyone knows how I fallen for him but no one can blame meeeeee Anyway, it’s a really good film to watch when you want be relaxed with cup of tea maybe hehe

In the gloaming

I heard about it before I watched it, that it’s a heart wrenching, tearful piece, though I didn’t managed to cry, it’s just.... painful and in a way heartfelt. I liked that story telling was calm and collected rather than forcing you to join the sob party, just showing the characters to carry on. And thanks to the great acting from the cast, the characters could be emphasised and understood, personally the older sister was the most relatable character for me, well, eldest complex lol. In short I liked it but it’s not something I would watch it often.

Last days of Disco

As a person who looks at aesthetic in films, I simply enjoyed this for that tbh. I don’t know, I just liked the feeling. But I don’t think it’d be everyone’s cup of tea. I love the day time clothes the girls wore in the film. Tbh I love the music too, I think I love all the films of rsl with music in it. Speaking about rsl, oh rsl, he’s.... His character might be bit unlikable but he was just.... This is why I can’t unlove his characters even the debatable ones<33

They were decent! (I would recommend it)

Married to it

This is the first and last ever attempt of rsl of romcomssss The film itself is cliche to be frank it’s like love actually but it’s about marriage life + it’s not christmas but I like heartfelt cliche stories like this, if anyone also loves this type of story, it’s really worth watching, it’s one of my comfort films, also, rsl is so pretty I mean he always is but to see him being a office man with a baby face made me go awww my baby grew up heheh I wish he did another romcom like this or more preferably, melodramatic romance, I’d have made a shrine of it and worship it every morning lol

The boys next door

I kind of smiled while watching it throughout, if you want something that is heartfelt and touch on some serious topic about social workers and the people with mental disorder, Rsl plays a character who has (I think it was) Schizophrenia and troubled relationship with his father(Deja vu I know) but general atmosphere tend to be quite humourous. I don’t get me wrong, though it’s light hearted, it doesn’t mean they treat the topic in the same way. There’s a scene where the protagonist imagining the one of the characters with the disorder talking eloquently and honourably at the court on the rights and the dignity of the people with mental disorders deserve to/should have and they’re just the same people as the people without mental disorders. It was a powerful scene.

My two loves

Rsl’s first ever screen debut film! Hehe it’s about a woman who is discovering her sexual identity and the conflicts within I personally thought it was fairly sensible depiction but I can’t say for sure whether it was accurate or else, since I don’t think it’s my place to say it:) But if you’re interested, it’s on YouTube, you can just search for it or go to this post I made. Fun fact: since it was his debut film, it credits him as he’s real name, Robert L. Leonard, I just find it amusing haha

Tape

It’s another type of film I don’t encounter that often, I enjoyed it, especially with Neil and Todd’s reunion lol. Rsl mentioned how he enjoyed it because it felt like doing a play, my first impression was that the structure is like a play, though the camera work made me quite dizzy haha. But the dialogues, the acting, I think it was quite spot on. Especially the human contradictions and hypocrisy side of it. The most people assume the baddie in the film is Jon the character rsl played and has a distaste for him. I mean how can anyone love a character who is accused of r*pe but to be honest, Vincent for me seemed just as problematic, both of them are hypocrites for sure in their own different ways but in the end we can’t be sure what’s really the truth or not. It’s about the vagueness, and phychology and the uncertainty from the audience on who to believe(well, myself included, most would trust on Amy’s claims since she’s the victim in the accusation, but by her denying the claims, making everything way unclear,) so I don’t know. I don’t really have an opinion haha tho I don’t believe nothing happened because Amy denied so, even Umma Thurman who played her, said that her interpretation was that Amy lied. I felt it’s endless rabbit hole this film. Sorry I couldn’t worded it better.

My best friend is a Vampire

It’s cringey and weird but there’re odd charm to it. Vampire rsl’s so cute as well.... and I think it’s the only film, he acted kind of flirty ? So for that itself I’d like to appreciate itttt And it’s so 80s/90s, like it has general odd nostalgia like all films from that age has. I saw a Korean blog about rsl films and this was mentioned, that- they said- it’s a bible of rsl’s adorableness and I think that sum up the film perfectly.

Mr&Mrs Bridge

Before this was in ‘I mean it was fine” category, but I watched it again and now I want to retract my statement lol Still isn’t my fav but I noticed how delicately depicted each characters are, Mr and Mrs Bridge in particular. This film is alternatively about the changes in the young generation regarding liberty, feminism, free expression especially on sex. It’s in the perspective of the bridges, the mother and father who is old fashioned and conservative (as it was normal in their previous generation) and the children who are the young generation, and the misunderstanding and conflicts between them. After all it all happened not only because of the difference but also the lack of communication, which rsl emphasised in his interviews. I found it interesting that they made it seems like the Bridges truly existed with the video footage and (with the ending) describing what happened to each family member in text with photos. When I watched it at first I was really confused if it was based on a real life. I think what they wanted to suggest was that the Bridges every typical American family at the time. It was something everyone was going through. I said previously I didn’t get why Rsl’s character (the youngest in the Bridges) treated his mother so coldly. Honestly I do get why, but I guess I felt so bad so the mother haha

I mean it was fine

The safe passage

It was okay but to be honest it didn’t stood out to me. It was okay. The story, the characters weren’t that interesting. I wish they extended it longer to go depth with their family relationship or something.

A painted house

I find it likeable, it has a chill, old folk story vibe, but same as previous one. it didn’t really stand out except for shirtless rsl, do close ups you cowards

Bluffing it

I was really fond of the premise of this film and I think it has great intention. It was specifically made to promote the awareness of illiteracy and how to get support. However, I don’t get the reason of Jack the protagonist’s illiteracy. Unless, it was common occurrence in America at the time, I feel like it’d have been more convincing if he was in poor family hood, so there was no time to learn at school due to working at young age...? I mean, just finding it hard to believe he passed the high school just like that, I mean the teachers or anyone should have noticed it, maybe I’m missing something here but it seemed unlikely to me.

Ground control

Again, I liked the message, as it depicted how frightening and difficult job the ground controller is, by one mistake could take away the lives of hundreds, especially as someone who goes on planes a lot... But it was quite cliche throughout, I just couldn’t get engaged to it. But I do admit at the end when the protagonist runs off to the landing zone see the pilot who he had just saved, they acknowledged each other and have eye contacts was truly wholesome. Rsl as cocky, bad boy was such a icing on the cake, I loved it so much. Chewing gum in every scene lol I hope he plays these sort of characters more often. I saw someone criticising him saying he has narrow spectrum of just playing nice boy roles like Neil but I really wanted to debunk the narrative and this could be one of the examples! 

Chelsea walls

I knew that this has split reviews but nonetheless I think worth to watch it, 1. Ethan and rsl re union, 2. Ethan is the directer of the film and rsl sing in it. But I have to say, it’s one of those hard to follow art indie film so I couldn’t finish it on one go. I feel like I have to devour it over and over again. Maybe later on I grow fond of it more lol But his character, I loved him so much. He’s just has everyone don’t touch me, I’m a cocky artist vibe, there’s a scene where his annoying friend annoying him and he looks up and says: ‘Fck off’. Absolute golddddd not to mention he sings and plays guitar so beautifully<333

Well... it’s not my cup of tea

The Manhattan project

I don’t think the film it self was that bad, it’s about high school boy who find out the existence of some nuclear energy research lab and stole the energy to make his own nuclear bomb. I just don’t get the thinking process of the protagonist. It really frustrated me. He seemed apathetic and unlikable I disliked him throughout and that’s why I didn’t really enjoyed it. I mean it has humour and ridiculous storyline might be humorous to some. But more importantly there was such little screen time for rsl!! LIKE WHY? WHY PEOPLE?? HE LOOKS LIKE A FRESH HUMAN MOCHI!!! It makes me soooo mad to think about it

Killer: Journal of Murder

Well, first of all, it had a lot of graphic things than I imagined, brutally murd*red bodies, execution, and r*pe scene, gosh I was strucken by it when I saw that, I had to skipped that scene. It’s based on a real event and a real criminal called Carl Panzram, so if you’re aware of it, it might be more intriguiging to see. But personally for me... meh, I don’t think directing was good as it failed to portray it enough for me to comprehend fully.

A Glimpse of Hell

This is also based on a true event of a tragic accident in the us battleship in Iowa in 1989. They shows tragedy lin a blunt, brutal way by showing horribly damaged bodies of the soldiers torn into pieces, all the horrid things directly so be warned about that. I was quite alarmed because i didn’t expect to see it haha there’s no much to say. The film quality was so so for me. I feel their approach wasn’t appropriate, they were clearly trying to make it dramatic which is fine but in a melodramatic emotional way. It didn’t work because first, there aren’t enough portrayal of the characters for me to get attached, secondly it added the unnecessary exaggeration it prevented me from being emotionally involved or even to think about it. In my opinion, I think it’d have been better if they made it more restrained, dry, focus on the accuracy. For example like 1987 or Zodiac, I mean both of them has dramatic elements since they’re not a documentary but they were not overdone, in a contrary added emphasis to their message/conclusion. I know it’s easier said than done but it was something I consistently felt during it.

Sir.... I’m sorry but-

Standoff

Haha... it’s very peculiar... the directing is off and it just weird. I knew it was bad already but I watched it because rsl as a cop with gunssssssss just... so rare and just.... something else. There’s no way of me missing that seriously. Tbh him doing an action stunt isn’t what I imagine when it comes to him and there’s really any actions scenes anyway but it really was something. Like the character he played here really became my soft spot Hehehehe he was pretty and plus, tbh it’s kind of film I’d make fun of while watching so everything was (alomst) forgivable. There is a recent thing I think about, since this is about a cult, I kind of hope he’d at some day play a role like Eli Sunday from There will be blood: a manipulative, deceitful and maddened priest with twisted faith. Though Paul Dano did a grand job, the idea was in my head the whole time. Well, it’s a shame he wasn’t any of those here lol

Driven

From what I seen, the majority of people seem to unanimously hate this film, and after watching it I became one of those ppl. At least Standoff could be make fun of and rsl held gunssss but this...... I want to say so many things... I feel like they should have chose either fancy, fast paced, thrilling racing film or detailed depiction of emotions/relationships with the racers and people involved in it, I know both can be done, but I think that was outside of their ability, but since they tried to do that at once, it became a mess that doesn’t go either way. And the characters, any of them, including rsl’s are narrow or impossible to understand. I mean rsl did great himself, it was not about acting, the problem lies on the script and editing in my opinion. Also there were so many unnecessary characters made me question of their existence. Luckily rsl’s character isn’t one of them, however because of them, he had to squeeze in and unable to elaborate, which is a shame as he was an interesting character and someone rsl rarely plays; a arrogant and opportunist agent/brother of the protagonist, who would do anything for success... ha.... whyyyyy

This is it. If I watch other stuff I might add to it in the future. Overall, I know I’m biased but I do like His filmography, I do have appreciations in every one of them in different way to the good ones to bad. He may have disagree, but I love his acting on screen, well, I barely seen him on stage (crying)

Edit: as some of you could see, I’ve edited this over and over again haha elaborating on thing or the contrary. I can say with a glimpse of hell I practically managed to watch every rsl films out there lol except for the i inside and the short film he did called a dog race in Alaska. But with the former I’m not interested and already know the storyline, and the latter is just impossible to find, trust me I did my best;; 

So to sum up: I HAVE MASTERED THE RSL FILMOGRAPHY!

[rivetgoth]

I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

[babbushka]

Hi,Z ✨from the 40 questions for fic writers would you please answer if you’d like of course #4,7,8,15,&16 ☺️

Hello my dear anon! Thank you so much for asking :) 

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Oh my gosh in terms of chaptered fics, 9 or 10, I think! Lol. I have lots of plans for the new year, and I can’t wait to get cracking on some of them. There’s a lot of fun in just thinking about and daydreaming about the ideas though, so even if 1 or 2 of those actually turn into something, I’m still grateful for the time to mull over new AUs or ideas. 

Currently the one that’s on my mind is Beyond Reasonable Doubt, which will be a Lawyer!Kylo AU chaptered fic in which Kylo is wrongfully accused of murder and needs you to represent him. Classic slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, murder mystery court-room drama, lol. 

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

For this question I’m going to choose this scene from Each Eye, my Mob!Kylo Ren x Reader fic: 

You were hunting, hunting him down. On your way to rip him apart limb from limb, on your way to gouge out his eyes and yank his heart straight out of his throat.

Snoke.

The man who had ordered your beloved to kill his father, which he had done! Which he had done so well, so deservingly – it hadn’t been enough. Not enough for Snoke, not enough for him who lured him into a trap for his sister to strike him down. The wretched old man, the monster who had taken your Kylo away from you, who had warped and twisted him into a puppet who had to obey.

Well, he didn’t have to obey any longer, not anymore.

Kylo was passed out, blacked out in your bed. You had found him had saved him, had sewn the chasm of his face back together with ugly fucked up stitches because you didn’t know how to do any better, you didn’t know. You had never done anything like this before, had never even seen it done. Nothing but sheer force and willpower had pushed your fingers forward, nothing but blind determination and fear had given you any sense of calm.

Were you calm?

For context, this story is about how Kylo Ren deals with the apparent news of a traitor within his family of organized crime moguls. The entire fic is shadowed by a sense of underlying tension between literally every character (other than Kylo) and you, but for the majority of the story there isn’t a clear reason why. The paragraphs above are the beginning of that why. 

I’m proud of this whole setup because really it’s something that is set up through the entire story leading to this point. There’s a curiosity there -- why does everyone fear her? Why does everyone blindly respect her? Even Kylo submits to her, and he doesn’t submit to anyone. 

Well, in the scenes that follow, you find out exactly why. It also unveils another layer to her character that we don’t see in the present. In the present, she is perfectly put together. In the flashback, she is absolutely unhinged, and that is a sort of simmering dichotomy that everyone in the story -- and now at this point, the audience -- knows can flip at any moment. 

She is capable of sheer brutality, and you see that firsthand. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

You know what I’m also going to choose a scene from Each Eye for this question lol, which as a matter of fact follows shortly after the scene mentioned above: 

“Do you remember? Remember what I did to him?” You asked softly, removing the napkin from your lap, folding it and placing it on the table. You knew there was one last course coming, some sort of ice cream, but you didn’t care.

You wanted to go home, you needed to plan.

“Yes.” Rey said, voice barely above a whisper, because she did – she was there.

“Remember how I spared you?” You asked, snapping your finger and drawing her attention so that she could look at you, so that you could look at her, really look at her.

“Yes.” Rey answered, terrified.

You were no longer all smiles, all warmth. You were no longer sunshine and charm as you had been, as you tried to always be. No, no now you were angry, now you were impatient, now you were offended. Your eyes were cold and hard when you regarded her, when you bore your gaze into hers as you leaned in ever so slightly, leaned in just enough to make her lean in too.

“I’m starting to regret that.” You whispered, before pulling away.

The waiter arrived then with the ice creams, and you returned to your normally cheerful disposition, checking your phone and collecting your belongings.

“Shit, would you look at the time!” You laughed breezily, apologetically to the waiter. “I need to get going, Kylo will be expecting me back home soon. You know how he gets if he’s away from me for too long.” You said to Rey, who was stunned.

“Of course.” She said, mind racing, pulse jumping.

The waiter nodded, handed the ice creams off to someone else passing by so they wouldn’t melt, no use in wasting them on people who wouldn’t eat it.

You eyed the little piece of newspaper that was still on the table, and picked it up.

“Oh, would you mind holding onto this for me? He doesn’t like it when I fill in the puzzle without him, gets all sour.” You winked, folding it up and handing it to Rey.

“Did you finish it?” Her voice shook as she accepted the paper.

“No, there’s one left, I was hoping you could solve it.” You smiled warmly, standing up and putting on your coat, “It’s got me stumped I’m afraid. Forty-two across.”

There’s a lot of dialogue in the Tea Room scenes, because there’s a lot of unspoken truths being revealed. But I like this moment a lot, because it’s the moment that Rey realizes she is completely and totally fucked. It’s the moment where, without saying anything at all, you tell her that you know what she’s done, what she’s doing. 

It’s also an example of that switch I mentioned above being flipped, how thin the layer of her patience is. It was all in all, just such a fun scene to write, that whole tea moment. 

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

This is such a fun question!! For those who may not know, I’m actually a spec screenwriter, and I use many of my chaptered fics as the base/starting point for some screenplays. So do keep an eye out, because there’s actually quite a few in the process of being tweaked and adapted into scripts. 

But to pick just one for this question, the answer is definitely Two Doves, a Flip Zimmerman/Reader fic I wrote which gives us a glimpse of Flip’s time in Vietnam. 

There are so many movies about the war in Vietnam, but in the updated for-screen version of Two Doves, that movie is more about veterans grappling with death and grief, humanity, morality, and what it means to be human. It’s very much an anti-war film that talks about the treatment of veterans after the war and how that’s a parallel to the treatment of vets today, as well as a commentary on the imperial militant industrial complex that has such a grasp on our country. 

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Oh hands down Flip & His Darling Jewish Wife. I just have so much invested in that version of Flip, and there’s so so much that I could write about with them. Probably because that AU is also the personal AU put into prose lol, but idk. I’m just always very interested in seeing where they go, and how they handle the things life throws at them. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids

gotspoons: [A chatroom/forum situation for teens with invisible illnesses/disabilities, a resource that is recommended when you can't go to IRL groups for your health/they aren't in your area etc] gotspoons: Ticked one whole thing off my to-do list today, feeling like a champ 💪 also feeling like a 2-hour long nap, who here relates? 🥱 tigerbalm: 🖐 took my nap earlier & yet 😴💤 brainpain: 💕🛏 brainpain: long lasting relationship with my memory foam mattress gotspoons: There is NO limit on the number of naps necessary to make it through the day tigerbalm: or the number of abandoned to-do lists, what was your 1 thing? gotspoons: 🚿 looks like breakfast will have to wait tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: @brainpain I have so many memory foam pillows in every room of my house I'm basically a shareholder 🙌 brainpain: @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously same but I've got my fave, I call him Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👏🙏 thank you for your service, Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: must name mine, only named the chariot 🦼 Charlton gotspoons: [ihatemyguts has entered the chat] gotspoons: A newbie, welcome! tigerbalm: 👋 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: love the username, what ails ya? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: because this is the only place it's acceptable to ask 'what's WRONG with you?' but not the only place you encounter it, right brainpain: but you don't have to answer cos it's also somewhere where you're encouraged to 'express yourself' translation: be an arsehole if you want brainpain: if you don't go hardcore enough to get blocked brainpain: @fibrofog LMAO tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the normies get to be rude as their default, and it is NOT encouraged to hit people with your cane, let me tell you ihatemyguts: Hi, everyone ihatemyguts: I'll do my best not to be an arsehole, even if my problem only lie directly above said orifice, which makes it a struggle not to be at times ihatemyguts: UC, first flare totally fucked over the family holiday 😬 sorry to that hotel toilet and my long-suffering parents and brother brainpain: newbie got jokes AND comedy timing ihatemyguts: 🚽 humour isn't all I have, I swear, though my life now does revolve entirely around the porcelain throne so it's no surprise I'm anally expulsive, thanks to Freud for that read tigerbalm: Freud's the perv, am I right? ihatemyguts: Totally ihatemyguts: and a big believer in the cocaine cure-all, which my Doctor just wasn't going for, shame tigerbalm: sounds like my sleazy uncle in every way tigerbalm: why does everybody get one? gotspoons: 😂 This chat is worth keeping my eyes open for gotspoons: every family is a play, and we're destined to be the 'sick kid' part gotspoons: other players react accordingly, from the 'can't look at you without crying' to the 'thinks you're making it up for some reason' brainpain: I vote we all go off script like @fibrofog 🤬🚨👿❗️ ihatemyguts: I guess I'm lucky in the sense that if anyone doubts the legitimacy of my illness, I can offer to show them the contents of my stomach/toilet bowl ihatemyguts: that shuts them up relatively fast, not had to go full 🐒 and throw it at anyone yet ihatemyguts: though I'm intrigued by the infamous @fibrofog, who are they, where, and why the infamy? Fill a girl in brainpain: the myth, the legend brainpain: so angry cos I turned 'em down for a romantic rendezvous ihatemyguts: No way! ihatemyguts: I'm glad that napping isn't the only action the memory foam is getting ihatemyguts: we're just like any other teens, right guys? 💁 tigerbalm: @brainpain you know the rules, fedora pics or it didn't happen! tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you know what they say about disabled chicks, grateful 😉 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: #dontkillmeladies #iamnotasleazyuncle tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: don't think Mr. Fog was even a legit 🥄 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: total predator tigerbalm: if it was my uncle I'm SO sorry 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: family who piggyback are THE worst tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: no, MY disability doesn't make YOU automatically WOKE for not drowning me in the tub or throwing me off the nearest high place I can access ihatemyguts: Honestly, I've never felt as simultaneously popular and unpopular in my life ihatemyguts: people 💬 a big acceptance game on the socials ihatemyguts: but no one wants to actually hang with the girl who can't eat shit and will spend half her time in the 🚽 gotspoons: Everyone's supportive until your disability gets in the way of THEIR perfect life even slightly gotspoons: imagine if they were one of us 👽 brainpain: speak for yourselves, my slurred speech makes me a hit with all my hard partying peers brainpain: get weird without a 🍹 ihatemyguts: hey man, don't let us drag you down 😎 ihatemyguts: if @fibrofog was feeling you, you're WAY too cool for this chat right now brainpain: never have, never will, baby 😉 brainpain: [inandout has entered the chat] gotspoons: OH MY GOD, that's a whole different story...my parents = you need to socialize more, live life! my parents = I don't know if this group is good for you, we think you're being encouraged to display and give in to even more problems gotspoons: thanks guys, you're literally making me more disabled with your disabledness 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It is a cult, well-known fact, leave your productiveness to society at the door and let's all lie here and feel sorry for ourselves, doesn't that sound like fun, kids? 😈 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and 👋 sup, inandout, not seen you in a while tigerbalm: my parents act like y'all are catching too! Would you like to cage me like a legit 🐅 or? inandout: baited breath inandout: out living that life like @gotspoons parents want tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It'll be the Olympics next tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🥇 Hero status with the normies, inspirational, dude inandout: if it'll make adults I've never met proud of me ihatemyguts: I can't believe I've not checked if I'm disabled enough for the paras, oh my God ihatemyguts: are there enough of us for a basketball team? brainpain: if ONLY my former lover were here brainpain: he's gotta be so tall ihatemyguts: Pining for @fibrofog is productive, yeah? ihatemyguts: can pine from my throne just fine brainpain: hands off newbie! I will throw mine brainpain: LOL imagine gotspoons: This group has always had a bias towards too many girls gotspoons: it's almost as if even disabled boys don't wanna talk about their feelings gotspoons: what say you @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously and @inandout? 🤔🤴🤴 inandout: I'd bring friends but you know us CF kids aren't allowed to congregate inandout: and what could I possibly have in common with someone who doesn't share my disease ihatemyguts: So, what is the deal with that, are some of us catching? ihatemyguts: 🐅 parents might have legit concerns inandout: cross infectious but only if you've got what's got me inandout: none of you do so you'll need another reason to turn down hanging out in person tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: my fedora is in the wash? inandout: Fibro could easily say it's my jewishness brainpain: but it's your hunkiness, babe 💪😉 inandout: I'd whistle back at you, Lauren but.... inandout: let's just say you leave me breathless tigerbalm: No names, Zach tigerbalm: it's like a rule ihatemyguts: uh-oh ihatemyguts: if you had a name, Tiger, in theory, like ihatemyguts: 🧐 tigerbalm: Robyn ihatemyguts: Pretty, you others may as well just come out with it now ihatemyguts: even if I'm a massive perv with mad hacking and tracking skills, I pinky promise I won't be able to find you from your given name alone brainpain: give us yours, newbie ihatemyguts: I will, but you'll think I'm giving you a fake one ihatemyguts: it's the gift and curse bestowed upon me at birth, along with potentially dodgy genetics brainpain: your life is 💩 brainpain: but still ihatemyguts: Zelda ihatemyguts: a reference I'm sure you won't get, 'cos you're so 😎 brainpain: I game, the stream was fibros fave hunting ground brainpain: no 💩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Turns out being a nerd is way easy from the relative (barely but beats death, yeah?) comfort of the memory foam tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and Rich ���� only in name, destitute until my next pittance comes in tigerbalm: she's not supposed to 🎮 -headaches -dizziness -light & sound sensitivity but she's a REBEL brainpain: �� MOM maybe I'd love a seizure, what do you know? ihatemyguts: I respect it ihatemyguts: gonna be fondly reminiscing over all those dirty, evil trigger foods when they're resecting my bowel 🖕🚔 brainpain: I had a life before I had a TBI, no offense to 👶 Zach inandout: none taken gotspoons: You're all being bad and I cannot support it 🤐😜 gotspoons: and I'm Rosie, I will just 😴 out on you all the time and yes, it's a fantastic excuse for when you don't wanna respond ihatemyguts: I'll commit all of those to memory in a normal, non-creepy manner ihatemyguts: but whilst I'm allowed to be a n00b, what do you all do for school? brainpain: I was nearly done before 🤯 which got me my pity pass ihatemyguts: pity with a point, at least, alright tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm waiting to start uni, absolutely no thanks to my school and their totally ableist refusal to make reasonable adjustments for accessibility tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but fedora or not, I can be a real arsehole, a loud, persistent one at that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: take my applause now brainpain: 😍 brainpain: take my 💘 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as it's not heavy, m'lady brainpain: you could 💔 brainpain: hold the pieces tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🧠 just isn't poetic enough brainpain: you know me gotspoons: you guys are so cute 🥰 and your broken brain is beautiful, Lauren gotspoons: me though, I'm barely struggling through school still, so many sick days, so much catching up to do 🥱 just thinking about it and therein lies the problem tigerbalm: my parents are trying to get online classes set up but my headteacher is like a million years old inandout: is he a demon? inandout: that was some scary fiction brainpain: or was it? brainpain: cue up those sound effects tigerbalm: if we're gonna talk about hypnosis, I'm out ihatemyguts: that was some serious creepy uncle vibes ihatemyguts: why did he need that level of control ihatemyguts: 🐘 in the room tigerbalm: I have a hippie cousin too, alternative therapy talk is so triggering ihatemyguts: I need a memoir re. your family sitch immediately 😂 ihatemyguts: you get the food purists coming @ me as if I just eat the right thing I'd be 'cured' tigerbalm: I'm working on a screenplay but I've never written a script before, I did find an online class for that easily though ihatemyguts: that's actually 😎 ihatemyguts: soz, Lauren brainpain: she's our lil busy 🐝 brainpain: step your game up, Zachary brainpain: supposed to be you, bro inandout: let Robbie have it, she has more sick days to fill up ihatemyguts: always have your 🥇 inandout: I can pin it on like a star when I got to school with the masses inandout: let them know I'm not what normal looks like ihatemyguts: only the others like you need to have the scoop on that though ihatemyguts: really fucks with the segregation in a big way inandout: “I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless. I am Divergent.” ihatemyguts: Tattoo idea inandout: if I make it to 18, I'll do it ihatemyguts: how long you given yourself there? inandout: I turned 14 in may, the party was a full blown rager inandout: 🏥🎂 ihatemyguts: you like ruining events too? ihatemyguts: what a coincidence, don't just do family holidays inandout: if I can't blow up 🎈 nobody can ihatemyguts: 🥳 smug bastard inandout: I find that party blower offensive inandout: Rosie! That's a strike for the new girl ihatemyguts: Come to me when it's as culturally iconic as 💩 ihatemyguts: my next (first) tattoo right there inandout: how long are you waiting for that masterpiece? ihatemyguts: was 14 in March ihatemyguts: if we both make it, it's a date inandout: cool inandout: way I'm going that'll be my first one brainpain: now I feel like a pervy OLD uncle brainpain: thank you 👶s ihatemyguts: Lemme guess? ihatemyguts: I'm thinking 19 brainpain: spooky brainpain: I'm an Aquarius if anyone cares ihatemyguts: our 🌟s aligning might be too close to alternative for comfort tigerbalm: I'm a cancer, which is awkward tigerbalm: not my diagnosis ihatemyguts: at least it's memorable ihatemyguts: literally tacked on at the end, who's remembering 🎣 tigerbalm: I hope my 16th will be, for the right reasons tigerbalm: I've still got 5 months left to plan ihatemyguts: 🤞🤞🤞 tigerbalm: I'll add your name, the others know they're all invited ihatemyguts: that's so nice ihatemyguts: considering this introduction has given away nothing if not I am a terrible guest brainpain: another chat about online safety, Robyn, REALLY? 😏 brainpain: did my failed romance teach you nothing? ihatemyguts: if that isn't a challenge to send a photo and make you feel really weird ihatemyguts: why are we anon anyway, to stop us uprising? ihatemyguts: metaphorically if not literally, no offense xoxo brainpain: f it brainpain: I need you all to sign up to my stream to pay my bills anyways brainpain: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: @fibrofog, I get it brainpain: don't flock to tell me how sexy I am, that'd make it weird brainpain: plus, I know tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I picked an awkward time to check back in tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie falls asleep and anarchy reigns? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm proud brainpain: 💔 YOU haven't showered me with compliments, but hey tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: if I made it that easy you'd never be 💘 brainpain: 😩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: to save any of the rest of you following such a hard act tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [pic] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's old but still a rough estimation of what I look like on a good day brainpain: 😍 brainpain: You're up, girl Z ihatemyguts: if you're all good looking though, I'm so mad ihatemyguts: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: 💩 inandout: I'm not good looking, I'll go next inandout: besides, Robbie would never bow to peer pressure and Rosie is out for the count inandout: [a selfie] tigerbalm: I am 🙀 tigerbalm: but everyone else has tigerbalm: [the shyest selfie of all time] ihatemyguts: 😻😻😻 ihatemyguts: seriously ihatemyguts: representation done us dirty on so many levels now ihatemyguts: when we're not invisible, why we not so gorgeous tigerbalm: there should be a blushing 😸 tigerbalm: that's the representation I need ihatemyguts: Call me out all you need but I was convinced this whole thing would be a lot more tragic than it has been inandout: tragic Tuesdays are a thing brainpain: no they are f-ing not brainpain: Zachary, just cos the new girl's in your age bracket + shares your 1st initial brainpain: she is not corruptible to you inandout: check us on our date, Lauren inandout: but watch your profanity brainpain: watch me give you a DIY lung transplant gotspoons: Excuse me gotspoons: what is going on here brainpain: nothing babe, it's all a dream gotspoons: 😖 gotspoons: if it was, none of you would be here gotspoons: sorry to say brainpain: we love you too brainpain: hit us with that sleepy selfie gotspoons: You know we aren't meant to give out personal info in the public forum gotspoons: if you choose to privately, that's okay though gotspoons: also I don't look any better for my shower now 🥴🤫 brainpain: you're a hottie gotspoons: 😘 gotspoons: well, my blog IS going to be featured on [insert disability awareness news moment] next month, so it isn't as if you couldn't find 🖼 if you really wanted gotspoons: [photo] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Congrats, Ro tigerbalm: a genuine 👏👏👏 tigerbalm: I love your blog gotspoons: Ty, ty 🙇 gotspoons: it's the same as my username, if you wanna check it out, newbie 😄 brainpain: but have you been on the news for being the victim of a violent crime? 😏 just me LOL inandout: Lauren's trading on her fame again inandout: let Rosie have her moment ihatemyguts: pass along all relevant info and I'll 🤓 right up brainpain: @inandout 🍒😃💩👅 brainpain: enjoy the profanity, bro inandout: today's highlight tigerbalm: Zelda could take offence at that, Zach tigerbalm: I think it was nice to meet her ihatemyguts: Not at all ihatemyguts: though it's cultural appropriation to use that emoji without my permission, I'll let it slide 😉 ihatemyguts: nice meeting you all too tigerbalm: I really am gonna have to tell you about my family now ihatemyguts: All I wanted, tbh tigerbalm: everyone else knows this but my parents are white Americans & they adopted me and my brothers who are Native and African American respectively tigerbalm: & you saw me, the Korean girl so ihatemyguts: Ohh tigerbalm: it sounds like a show that should air on ABC family, right? tigerbalm: hella awkward ihatemyguts: I'm brainstorming (p. sure we're not meant to say that, soz) titles rn ihatemyguts: inappropriate question alert, verbal smackdowns appreciated if needed ihatemyguts: did they adopt you knowing you were disabled or is that a new development? tigerbalm: I was gonna call it building bridges but we can't really say that the USA has wronged Korea like the other nations tigerbalm: though they did adopt me knowing so maybe it still works 😄 ihatemyguts: it's got legs tigerbalm: 🦿 ihatemyguts: Ugh, must dash ihatemyguts: 🩸💉s tigerbalm: best of luck ihatemyguts: 💕 total pro by now 💪 brainpain: if I don't 👀 you on my stream I'll 🔎 you here in the forums inandout: a threatening goodbye inandout: can't compete tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👋 Hope to see you back here, Zelda tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though you wouldn't be the first person to 👻 after dropping in, so no pressure, @Lauren gotspoons: but actually, we're always here, some of us more than others, but you'll always find someone to chat to about the things you can't with non-spoonies ihatemyguts: ✌

[iamnathannah]

So...I got this review on ff-net for "Longing" this morning. Usually I love reviews because they give me encouragement...this ain't one of them, though.

If you don't want to read through it, in summary...

"Great story, but it seems like you hate men and the direction of society. Why isn't Dean just the bland fella presented in the show? Why is he violent and a cheating asshole who's rich; that's Logan y'know? Love the story as I said and Madeline and Louise are great, but I'm done with it."

Yeah, a lot to unpack here if you're not in the GG fandom like I've been since near the beginning, along with the basic concept of fanfiction.

"It's a well-written story with good characterisation of Rory and Paris but...there's a lot of anger in it."

When I started the story in 2003, the sky was the limit, and Paris and Rory were on their way to great lives bereft of any issues with men and so much potential for women in the world. Fast-forward to 2019...where we have a lying cheat of an asshole in the White House, merely disagreeing with a man is enough to bury your Twitter mentions in hate, and LGBTQ+ rights are being attacked at every turn.

Then we have the aftermath of AYITL, which dynamited Rory's future into being completely dependent on men (aka Logan), took away her entire drive and reason for being, and left her as a homewrecker having a kid she probably never wanted. And Paris is in a loveless marriage with a completely underwritten Doyle whose character traits went from 'being a loving and supporting boyfriend to a neurotic Jewish girl with the entire world upon her shoulders' to 'wink-wink Danny Strong writes Empire and Oscar-winners; Doyle can't raise kids let's just write that Doyle's that now since we threw out the Doyle notebook in our post-S6 burning of all our character notes'.

Yeah, over sixteen years, you tend to write for your reality, and the reality right now? Totally sucks.

"Some of it seems to be directed at society, some of it at the show, with a disproportionate amount of it being taken out on mostly male characters who bear only a passing resemblance to their on screen portrayal..."

Once again...AYITL hasn't aged well. Society hates journalists. It hates driven women (see my last post taking down that asshole who hates Brie Larson). Males are pretty damned well responsible for most of it. And I haven't had the best male figures of my life and have been mostly around women. I'm probably not going to write a positive view of some men; it's bias, and I own up to it here.

And yeah, my men don't match up to how they are on screen. Because, fanfiction is...

'Fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc.'

Speaking of which...

"...Which seems to have got worse as I suspect you liked the show less and less."

You're reading my story. A Gilmore Girls fanfiction. My Twitter bio declares that I've loved it a decade and a half before the Gilmore Guys started their podcast. A show where I literally follow nearly main actor on the series into every future project they've had and watched loyally, for the most part. I buy every movie the girls have been in. Fanfiction isn't defined as 'a random person writing hate screeds against a particular TV series, movie, etc.'. You're not going to ever see me write even a drabble about how much Kevin Can Wait should be called Kevin Can Burn In Hell Because He's a Ghoulish Sexist Fuckface Who Celebrated His Wife's Death To Move On With His Former Hot Wife From Another Show.

Still love Gilmore Girls in full. But being a fan doesn't mean I have to like every single decision the writers and ASP ever made.

That is the fun of fanfiction. If I disagree with canon...I can disregard it, in part, or in full. I have never been able to find a fellow fan that agreed with every plot point the show has ever made. I hope I never will, because that's definitely not why anyone should ever be a fan of the show.

And excuse my language here...but I've written over a MILLION WORDS for this story. 27 chapters have been posted. I have an eventual endgame planned for the story that has been in my mind since the day I posted chapter one. Why the fuck would I write a million words about something I hate?!

"Dean has gone from a good first boyfriend who just wasn't right for Rory long-term to a violent thief who cheated on Rory throughout their relationship and never loved her anyway. And now, incredibly, seems to be just another entitled rich kid? It feels like you really want to bash on Logan but can't find a way to have him in the story, so you've turned Dean into him."

Oh reviewer...dear reviewer...oh, you don't know what you've gotten yourself into.

I have ALWAYS hated Dean. Always. Since January 2001 when I caught up on the backlog of episodes I missed because I only started watching during the two back-to-back night Christmas episodes, the only positive thought I've been able to spare for him was that Jared Padalecki (no attacks on him here, just the character) got a good living playing a completely underwritten bore who has nothing redeeming going on and a backstory that I would call 'existent'.

The show claims he's from the south side of Chicago in a neighborhood near the Dan Ryan that has 5% white people going by the zip code of his mail from there (the show's basic research department blew it there). Most white people from Chicago are in the Gold Coast, the northwest suburbs, or the North Shore. I have been adjacent to the Chicago market my whole life. He's from the North Shore, no question, judging from how his parents seem to have good enough wealth and how every white guy Chicago teenager story is drawn from a kid from the North Shore.

He literally punched Jess out three times!

He made Rory fear violence for merely losing a bracelet he gave her and for being near Tristan for a school function (LOL, Dristan...that burn still causes me to laugh at inappropriate times about how dumb it was, and I'm sure Tristan has it as one of his constant bon mots).

He called her home phone nearly a hundred times a day and drove her to the edge of madness with a 'must watch every day' love of Lord of the Rings that compares unfavorably to my four year-old nephew only loving Frozen, PJ Masks and Daniel Tiger. That isn't anyone any person has to tolerate in a relationship.

Dean’s only reaction to Rory trying to prove a point with her Donna Reed night was just she looked hot and he learned nothing about how women hate being confined to being solely homemakers and sexual receptacles.

He dumped her because she didn’t say “I Love You” like it was the goddamned bonus round in Wheel of Fortune and she didn’t get the solution out before the buzzer.

Dean’s shambles of a gift, that piece of shit car? It almost killed Rory and Jess. It looked like it didn’t have seatbelts. I’m surprised we didn’t get an episode where Dean ended up homeless because Richard sued his cheap ass into the fucking ground.

He decided to make her go back to him in front of the entrance of Chilton, where Rory would have looked like the biggest b***h in history if she didn’t return an ‘I love you’, and goddamned well knew it. Any good person would have done this in fucking private, like a considerate person.

He never respected the Chilton side of her life. At all. If it was up to him, he would’ve made up a bomb threat and had his friend imitate Rory’s voice to get her kicked out of the school she spent her young life trying to get into. If it was up to him, Harvard would have never even been a possibility, and if not for Jess coming in, he would have intimidated her into pushing off her dream entirely to stay in the kitchen.

His origin story was never mentioned outside 'he moved from Chicago and had a girlfriend in the past, Beth'. Fanfiction allows you to examine the holes in stories and go from there, and I just worked with them because the thing with moves to new locales? You can have a brand new image with people, and they will never know what you did in your old place. Judging by his violent/stalkerish tendencies, he has a pretty good case for having Imposter Syndrome that eventually reset itself in the Hollow.

Over time he went from a guy who seemed to like good literature to hyperfocusing on the 'it' media property of the time. Likely he started out liking fine literature, but once he fell in with the imbeciles of his friend group in the Hollow, that proved to be a lie.

He had a thing about being close to Lorelai. So much that around that time, there were so many more people shipping Lorelai/Dean than Rory/Dean as a romantic couple. If not for his later flanderization, that fangroup would still be strong.

HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE!

**HE. CHEATED. ON. HIS. WIFE!

***HE! CHEATED! ON! HIS! WIFE!

****And outside losing his home and some stuff being damaged (rightfully fucking so) by Lindsay, both her and Rory took all the brunt of the damage his wandering dick did between all of them. Lindsay was guilted by her parents for checking out on her marriage and was never heard from again (I assume she's in a convent now because ASP's writing outside of Lorelai and Rory [or Paris, Sookie and Lane on a day she wasn't angry at the world for not pressing her hat right] for women was 'they are the enemy'). Rory had to find her way back to her old self (and she never did going by ending up with Logan). Dean? Welp, good thing "Supernatural" started at that time to save ASP the bother of having to explain what a dumbass Dean was.

*****Justice for Lindsay Lister! I hope she didn't go to a convent, but flipped off her parents, squealed out of town and is killing it in a career where she's respected, with a partner who loves her deeply.

The scene where he cornered Rory into sex in her house and said he didn’t love Lindsay was sexual assault and gaslighting. ASP intended it to be romantic, but instead created a nightmare scene that would be completely passe in a Lifetime movie. Rory’s first time was her being forced to give up her sexual agency for the pleasure of only Dean. And it’s exactly why the Paris/Rory scene I wrote on the yoga mats was intended to be the exact reverse of that trash.

He hoped to get ahead in life on a hockey scholarship. That's...not a life plan. And he paid for it by being stuck doing construction.

He hated Paris. He hated that Rory had her as a friend. He wanted a life with Rory that never involved Paris.

Paris is a strong-ass lady for daring to step to him and lie through her teeth about wanting Jess to stop the Great Stars Hollow Homicide of 2002 By The Coward Dean Forrester from ever being a thing.

LOL Logan is Tristan Lite and always will be.

About ten chapters back I mentioned how the girls consider Logan terrible already from a distance based on the New York media scene. Trust me, he's in this story (he may be a little more in this story later).

"There is a lot to recommend in this, like the slow burn set-up (although you've made up for it since!)..."

#backhandedcompliment (Also, what's to recommend? Love to know what you did like, but you spent all that time saying 'I'm mean to men', so I guess you ran out of time on that)

"...and turning Madeleine and Louise into three-dimensional characters..."

You sent me a flame, but didn't expand on what you loved about this? Thanks for the lack of feedback (and for misspelling Madeline’s name).

"But there are several reasons why it's not been an easy read so I won't be hanging out for an update, I'm afraid."

You basically said that you consider me a man-hater and that because I choose to have the ladies present their views in the story, you don't like that I'm drawing real life into their motives, mores and decisions. And you said I hated the show when most of my friend circle was formed through bonding through it, and we still love it, even if we think Rory needed to do better in life and ASP's writing weakened as each season went on.

I don't need readers like you, seriously. There are many other Rory/Paris stories you can read out there. As I have said in many other flame responses;

I am not the be-all end-all of Paris/Rory fic. PLEASE, read other writers. Enjoy their stuff. But don't whine at me or them because we choose to show that even in fictional worlds, people are against LGBTQ+ issues and people. We're not going to get equality by sugar-coating or whitewashing our way past those issues, and if you can't handle what I consider light attacks against entitled men, you should probably find something else to read.

[skepticraven]

There is No War on Christmas

It’s nearly that time of year again. The time of year that Fox News will begin whining about the war on Christmas and let’s be honest, they never stop whining about Christian persecution. Let me be perfectly clear: There is no war on Christmas. Fox just expects their ideology to be able to dominate ever inch of the public and private domain and then gets cranky when they can’t completely control everything everyone say or does. Christians are not being persecuted in America. In fact Christians make up the overwhelming majority of the United State’s population. They also possess the overwhelming majority of the political power. Out of the entire Senate and House of Representatives (535 people), there are 6 Mormons, 8 Jews, 3 unaffiliated, 1 Buddhist, ZERO Muslims, ZERO Hindus, ZERO Pagans, Zero Atheists. The people labeled unaffiliated does not mean they are atheists, it means not a member of a church or have chosen not to declare a theological stance publicly. I know for sure at least 2 of the unaffiliated individuals were raised Christian. As for the supreme court, since it began in 1789, there have been 91 Protestant judges and 13 Catholic judges out of 113 total justices. There are 5 Catholics, 1 Protestant, and 3 Jews currently serving as supreme court justices. Trump claims to be a Christian which I’d take with a grain of salt but he does seem to espouse a lot of the political stances of conservative Christians in most situations and he certainly has harped on about having people say Merry Christmas again (instead of Happy Holidays).

So why do I say, there is no war on Christmas? To start, Christmas is a national holiday. Most businesses close on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day (with the exception of like Hospitals, Police Stations, an occasional diner or convenience store). Do you see the entire country closing down on Ramadan? Nope. For weeks, and sometimes months, prior to Christmas, everywhere you go its, “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.” That music takes over entire radio stations that otherwise play decent music. You can’t escape those insufferable, cheery, can’t-get-it-out-of-your-head tunes. I used to work at a Hallmark store in high school and they played Christmas “music” 8 fucking months out of the year. (By the ended the day, I would have had to restrain myself from gouging out my ear drums, about half a dozen times. Its took me 5 years to stop involuntarily singing Christmas music in the shower after I quit). Every store or business in the country has big ass Christmas sales where people routinely trample and assault people, just so they can get a fucking Tickle-Me-Elmo or something. Some businesses spend an obscene amounts of money to dress the building up with more flashing lights and sparkly crap than a cheap strip club. 

The fact that there are grown adults getting their panties in knot over someone wishing them, “Happy Holidays” is a special kind of stupid. I’ve come to the conclusion, we really have got to just start taking obvious warning labels off products. You know, like the warning label on a jar of peanut butter that says, “Warning: Product contains nuts.” The anti-happy holidays crowd is clearly who those labels are intended for. So take em’ off and let nature take its course. And honestly, what kind of snowflakery is this? Talk about first world problems! Happy holidays is just an expression, GET OVER IT. It isn’t even a new phrase and its not like it was invented by stores to somehow “oppress” Christians. It’s a phrase that's been around and used in relation to Christmas for more than a hundred years. Here's an ad from the Philadelphia Inquirer on December 5, 1863:

Many stores do opt for employees to greet customers with Happy Holidays because there are many other secular and religious Holidays around that time of year, like: 

Kwanzaa (an African American holiday) 

Hanukkah (a Jewish holiday) 

Omisoka (a Japanese holiday) 

Yule (a Pagan holiday)  

Bodhi Day (a Buddhist holiday 

Mawlid el-Nabi (an Islamic holiday) 

Zarathosht Diso (a Zoroastrian holiday) 

Pancha Ganapati (a Hindu holiday) 

And of course, New Years Eve/Day (A Secular Holiday). 

Plus there are a string of other Christian Holidays around the time of Christmas:  

Saint Nicholas Day (general Christian holiday) 

Immaculate Conception (primarily Catholic holiday) 

Advent (pertains primarily to Orthodox Christians) 

Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe (pertains primarily to Mexican Catholics) 

Posadas Navidenas (primarily a Hispanic Christian holiday) 

Feast of the Holy Family (primarily a Catholic holiday) 

Holy Innocents Day (a general Christian Holiday 

And Watch Night which is like the Christian version of New Years Eve- minus the getting hammered part, I assume. lol. 

“Happy Holidays” is a way to give your well wishes for whichever holidays happen to apply who you are talking to. It is every bit as applicable to a Christian as it is to a Muslim or a Pagan or an Atheist, etc. We can’t always tell someone’s religion when you are just looking at them so its a way of not making assumptions. Some of these super right wings folks expect people to use the phrase “Merry Christmas” at all times. In fact, if it were up them you’d say “Merry Christmas” when you are talking to a middle eastern woman in Hijab. Because that woman is supposed to get over someone using a phrase that excludes them, while the ultra-conservative individual can’t even get over a greeting that includes them. The funny thing is, I’ve accidentally said “Merry Christmas” to people who I knew weren’t Christian (just out of habit, rather than intention) and they are pretty cool about it. However, I have had my head bitten off a handful of times over the years for saying “Happy Holidays” to Christians. Not every time obviously, but probably like 3-4 times and I’ve heard people in a group talking about it as they leave a couple more times. Once, at my last job, I had middle aged man practically try to shake my hand and acted like I was some kind brave rebel to I say “Merry Christmas” and then they tried to start a conversation me about how unfair is that people “don’t say Merry Christmas anymore” and quote “This is a Christian country” etc. etc. etc. That is a bad position to be in as a server because your tip depends on them liking you and there is no graceful way to bow out of that. Frankly that is just as uncomfortable as getting my head bit off because I have to fight the urge to tell him that America was never a Christian country (even if there were a lot of Christians) and ask what is so wrong with “Happy Holidays?” I mean, of course a lot of stores want employees to say Happy Holidays! They are there to make money! They want to be inclusive so that woman in hijab wants to buy her shit there. “Happy holidays is a polite greeting. If you’re going to be a snowflake about it, next time I see you, I’ll call you “Hey asshole” instead if you are going to get triggered regardless. 

I also want to reject the idea that stores ever stopped completely saying “Merry Christmas.” I hear “Merry Christmas” as much or more than “Happy Holidays.” Maybe some places have stopped but most of the big ones haven’t. Case and point:

Walmart

Walmart Again

Macy’s

JCPenny’s

Sear’s

Old Navy

Toy’s R Us

McDonald’s

Burger King

Best Buy

[itsclydebitches]

Preacher Review: Viktor

A.K.A. “It’s Game of Thrones”

Sorry for the nearly 24 hour lateness of this review, folks. We’ll jump right in with my most humble apologies.  

Episode four has two major themes arcing through it: the old-school ‘people are the real monsters’ and a newer, optimistic take on how technology (specifically television) can solve almost any problem. I’ll be touching on both throughout.

We begin with Tulip though, still surrounded by men in that laundry mat, ominously telling Viktor that they’ve succeeded in locating her. We’re given close ups of Tulip handing over her gun and smooshed between two of the thugs in the car, both of which amp up the dangerous, claustrophobic feeling for Tulip and viewer alike. The tension started last week with Tulip methodically putting coin after coin into the machine—delaying the inevitable, sending a message that she’ll go when she’s ready—and these feelings are amplified when she doesn’t even bother to take the smokes with her. Oh well. Someone else’s gain I suppose.

There’s a time jump as Jesse finds Dennis’ place the next morning, which is notable due to its ordinariness. This is specifically not the time lapse we’ve come to associate with supernatural characters (Fiore waiting for the bus, the Saint catching up with the trio). All Jesse gets is a simple cut, despite Genesis riding shotgun next to his soul. It’s a nice, cinematic touch that tells us Jesse remains more Human than Other.

Jesse certainly thinks so. He emphasizes to Cass that there was a woman—no, not like that—who was in trouble, “so I helped her.” When Cass isn’t impressed with Jesse’s bragging he drops it fast enough, launching into an explanation for how staying out so late without contact is “typical for Tulip,” especially when they’re fighting. This sets up the conflict between Cass and Jesse in this episode and it’s one that we can easily see both sides of. Jesse is (rightly) reading the situation through his long intimacy with Tulip while Cass is (also rightly) basing his interpretation off of what he thinks Tulip currently needs. In short, misunderstandings on both sides waste a whole lot of time.

And for once Tulip might actually need the assistance. She squirms in Viktor’s office, and though Tulip employs her impressive acting skills later while sobbing and insisting how sorry she is for leaving, the viewer is left with the distinct impression that these first set of nerves are real. Plus who wouldn’t be squirming with screams and a buzz saw sounding in the next room?

Cass sends a heartfelt “are u ok?” but Tulip doesn’t have time to answer. The texts will grow more and more frantic as the episode continues, coming to a head in what proves to be a wonderfully shocking final scene…

But we’ll get to that.

For now Eugene is still in hell and oh boy, I still have Thoughts about this plot-line. The Worst Memory machine is currently malfunctioning in Eugene’s block (is he somehow the cause?) and it gives the writers the chance to do the exact thing I had prayed they wouldn’t do:

Humanize Hitler.

Here’s the thing, they’ve just introduced a whole new cast of characters, so go ahead and humanize the soft-spoken Romani! Or the Native American in the background! Literally anyone other than the genocidal maniac whose atrocities are still very much a part of our present. This is hell, no one is going to be “good,” but that doesn’t mean you try to redeem the one possible character who is, as an icon, entirely irredeemable. But oh, does the show try.

Hitler is a skinny, soft-spoken man who immediately positions himself as Eugene’s defender. He takes Eugene under his wing (explaining a little about how the Machines works) and invites him into his own worst memory in Munich, 1919 when Eugene gets locked out of his cell. There we see that Hitler most regrets a time when he was trying to woo a pretty girl (and failing), was embarrassed by a Jewish man, is incredibly hesitant about labeling anyone as “vermin” worthy of extinction, and is nervous about showing his art to a gallery owner. This Hitler is later horrified to see his own salute and just wants a crossword puzzle to do. As one of the other prisoners asks, “What happened to you?” Provided he isn’t faking (Eugene’s “Are you still... bad?”) we’re presented with a ‘redeemed’ Hitler that is not only insulting, but beyond implausible. Who grows a conscious in a hell that actively encourages you to be your worst? “Act accordingly.” How does Hitler grow a conscious there? Admittedly we didn’t get to see the entirety of his memory, but as it stands the show pulls out all the idiotic evidence that’s used to try and lessen Hitler’s actions. He loved his dogs! He could have been a painter! So what? Jake, help me out here.

Thank you.

By the time Hitler is being beaten up we’re supposed to feel mighty bad for him. I don’t. What’s more interesting though is Eugene’s self-preservation. In some ways I think this is a little out of character—he’s spent a whole season actively putting himself in harms way while trying to get back in the town’s good graces—but perhaps the idea of the hole is too much for him. Regardless, Eugene re-starts the kicking of a broken and bleeding Hitler in order to save his own skin, emphasizing that hell is only as awful as the people who make it up. We’re seeing more and more how there’s very little mystical about these other worlds. Hell isn’t scary because it’s some supernatural torture-fest, it’s scary because it’s made up of people in power encouraging others to act at their worst. It’s scary because it’s a reflection of how bad humans can be—“no one had any idea the numbers we’d be getting.” Even ‘good boys’ like Eugene aren’t safe from that influence.

It’s exactly like Earth.

But you know what? I actually have a theory here, one that would explain away all of Hitler’s inconsistencies, get the writers (somewhat) off the hook, and come back to haunt Eugene later: what if that’s not actually Hitler? What if that’s just some guy pretending to be Hitler to keep himself safe? Protection based on others’ fear and respect? It would be a good twist.

I’m holding on to that. Tightly.

Meanwhile, we segue into our second theme with Cass playing couch potato and consuming the most hilariously over-the-top infomercial, which is hilarious because of how accurate it is. Flooded houses, shot of a sad dog (because we all know people care more about the dogs than the humans…), and a black woman eating out of the trash. I’ve literally seen commercials structured exactly like this. But the whole point is not a commentary on the commercial industry itself (though there’s definitely some of that), but rather it gives Cass the chance to spot fake!God on TV, just like how he spotted Fiore two episodes back. Noticing a pattern? It’s pretty on the nose: watching TV is a good thing! Watching TV will give you leads in your case! It’s the answer to your questions and the solution to your problems! The fact that Cass later claims to be representing Game of Thrones—the other ultra-violent adaptation airing this month—and succeeds in getting the information they need just reinforces this message that television is an all around excellent tool, that you should totally keep watching, especially at 9:00 on Monday nights. 

I see what you’re doing, Preacher. Although as someone who studies television, I do also agree lol.

Television (or rather, tapes) help them again as we get to see fake!God auditioning for his part, working through many of the lines he tried out last season, and ultimately getting shot when he accepts the job (an excellent touch). It’s after this that Cass can’t take it anymore, finally getting straight with Jesse about the fact that Tulip is missing.

Ah Tulip. This was set up very well. “I made you a part of my family.” Oh, so Viktor is acting all mob boss like, it’s that kind of ‘family.’ Why does Tulip have free reign in this house if she’s a prisoner? Eh, probably just a mistake on the writer’s part. That little girl was awfully mad, but that’s normal for a child of someone like Viktor. Why did Tulip threaten to kill Viktor instead of just escaping? Well, she needs to make sure he doesn’t come after her again. And remember back to the almost-wedding? Tulip just had bigger things on her mind than marrying Jesse. Right?

Nope, nope, nope, nope and nope. Everything falls into place when Tulip announces that Viktor is her husband, a twist I personally never saw coming. She’s literally family, this is presumably her house, that little girl is her step-daughter, they obviously have a relationship, and Tulip can’t marry Jesse if she’s already got a husband. That “let me go” line takes on a whole deeper meaning by the end of the episode. Things just got way more complicated, which is exactly what the trio doesn’t need with the Saint back on their trail, and Jesse is beyond pissed. Anyone else notice how he chokes Viktor harder after Tulip’s admission?

My biggest question though:

Was the baby Tulip lost Jesse’s … or Viktor’s?

We’ll have to wait to find out. 

Thanks, friends <3

Other Minor Things Worth Noting 

Dennis’ kitchen looks remarkably like the kitchen back at the church: same drab, brown coloring; slightly grimy surfaces; a single window with sun shining through that Cass needs to avoid. It’s a part of Preacher’s aesthetic—these characters don’t belong in fancy places—but it was also a lovely, nostalgic touch.

We get another angry spew of French from Dennis. “It’s French,” Cass says. Yes. Yes it is. Okay. Who’s taking bets on whether Dennis will try to kill Cass before this is all over?

Jesse tells the conspiracy theory loving, “this is probably the Terminator,” “I swear I saved you from government clones” vampire that he’s discovered a secret organization. God bless.

Love the distorted voice of the Superintendent. A creepy touch to this otherwise bureaucratic depiction of hell.

Why hasn’t Eugene questioned why he’s in hell yet? Did he actually meet Jesse in the church that one time? Are the hallucinations Jesse had last season the real Eugene? If they weren’t, isn’t Eugene wondering when and how he died? Or does he just accept all this given his guilt over Traci? The facts here are all rather muddled…

Very nice long-shot of Tulip coming up those steps. She looks incredibly small in that massive, ostentatious house.

An epic fight to “Uptown Girl’ with severed arms and a fire hose used as weapons? Yes please.

We’ve finally got “arseface” into this canon! Or rather, “assface.” I wonder if Eugene will claim this name like he did back in the comics.

[attina-the-responsible]

1, 4, 8, 14, 21, 24, 28, 42, 45, 50 - All, or whoever speaks to you for each one

jesus fucking christ.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Belle: Belle Marie Beauton – belle bc it means “beauty” and also, tech, her mom’s name was charisse which means “grace” and she was like into a #theme. marie bc it sounded nice, is also probably maurice’s mom.

Simba: Onyango Simba Lyons – onyango bc it means “born in the morning” and simba because it means “lion/warrior”. 

Toulouse: Toulouse Henri Bonfamille – why did ber get hector’s name as his middle name and not lou? /waves hand lou was named after the artiste of course! tres bien. 

Bambi: Bambino Daryl Basurto – bambino is basically like “my little one”, it’s an affectionate italian term tho it’s also used in other parts of europe. daryl means “deer” sooo his full name lowkey translates to “little deer of the forest”

Perdita: Perdita Mariel Faye – all of perdy and her sibs are named after shakespeare characters bc her mom is #obsessed. edmund, perdita, rosaline, and ophelia. perdy was named after her mother’s first role on broadway. mariel is jewish – it is a variant of mary, which means “wished-for child/bitter” soo

Sweet: Joshua Strongbear Sweet – named joshua because his parents liked it. his middle name used to be quietcub, but after he came back from his spirit quest it became strongbear after the animal that guided him. (also look i looked up if spirit quests were still a thing in the tribe sweet comes from and they ARE so don’t @ me pls)

Maui: Maru Akalana – he doesn’t have a middle name. maru means “correct” apparently, but in the original myths of maui maru is one of the names of maui’s brothers. (or it is his name when he is human before he gets abandoned i foRGet it’s been a hot minute)

Hercules: Hercules Odysseus Persaud – herc doesn’t know where his first name came from, only that his birth mother gave it to him. he was named after two greek heroes, ofc cuz his mom is a big nerd.

Attina: Attina Morgan Triton – attina is a derivative of athena and morgan means “sea chief” or “sea defender” and since she would be in line for the “crown” so to speak, it made sense.

Akela: Akela of the Seeonee Wolf Pack – seeonee is the name taken from the area where the pack sort of officially “formed” and akela means LONELY LMFAO i just looked it up that’s hilarious.

Peach: Peach Blossom Clearwater – literally constructed her name. she just liked the idea of peach blossom–and she made her fake mom have a flower name too. and clearwater she straight up stole from harry potter.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Belle: well, belle never really knew her mother and her relationship with her father is estranged.

Simba: big ole momma’s boy. he loves his mom, though their relationship is a little tense these days. loved his dad a lot, his Biggest Hero, but his dad also put a lot of pressure on him and basically brainwashed him oops.

Toulouse: loves his mummy, tho he has a deep seated resentment towards her that is just now coming to light, but general he is like #mustprotect. had an extremely contentious relationship with his father as a child, the best thing for their relationship was not living together lol. lou can tolerate his father for short periods of time and even gets along w him 90% of the time, but he has a deep seated resentment towards him too lmao

Bambi: ughhhhhhhh he loved his mommmmm his mom was his best friend they did everything together. they were never apart. esp bc he was homeschooled a good bit and he was sick. she doted on him and i cry. he is still getting to know his dad but he loves him.

Perdita: really contentious relationship w mom. she was verbally abusive and neglectful, held perdy to a hire standard than her sisters. when perdy rebels abigail just like cuts her off, punishes her in the worst ways. made comments about her weight/clothing/etc. total daddy’s girl tho, she loves her daddy.

Sweet: momma’s boy. he tends to shut her out a lot tho bc he knows things in his life would hurt her and he wants to protect her from that. didn’t really know his father but he treasures the memories he did have.

Maui: dad was verbally/physically abusive. real Macho Man–which obviously made him kind of a dick. but maui’s mom is the sweetest ugh i love kai.

Hercules: loved both his parents BUNCHES AND BUNCHES but then he found out that they lied to him for 22 years and he is still reeling from the betrayal.

Attina: athena was her best friend. she told her mom everything and wanted to be just like her when she grew up! was obviously devastated when athena died. loves her daddy, but does think he needs to chill out some.

Akela: hates them.

Peach: never knew them and never will (spoiler alert: they’re dead.)

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

Belle: Philippe! fun fact: had another horse named Royale when she was a child, but her father sold him for cash before he left. now she has: vincent the cat, philippe, and shuck! she isn’t a huge animal fan, but she likes them well enough. doesn’t go out of her way.

Simba: his mum had a persian named guinevere growing up. she was a bitch. simba and her did not get along. esp cuz simba was a handsy child lol. he begged and begged for a dog for his entire childhood, but never had one. has two beautiful goldens now–bowie and simone– and they are his literal children. loves all animals–except cats, snakes, and spiders, those are the devil’s creatures.

Toulouse: never had a pet growing up. marie has dauphine now and he’s kinda helping coparent simone. tbh should get a dog. lou ADORES animals.

Bambi: lol

Sweet: never had pets, doesn’t have time, likes them well enough

Perdita: didn’t have any pets growing up. doesn’t really like animals they’re dirty. viola has made her change her mind somewhat.

Maui: no, no, yes.

Hercules: his mom has a cat named baset after the goddess. herc loves animals, horses esp 

Akela: lol

Attina: likes animals in the abstract sense? loves sea creatures. never had a pet as a kid. has a long list of stipulations for pet as an adult.

Peach: has never had a pet. will buy a cat probably. the cat will run away bc she’s irresponsible. she will be devastated. she loves animals, except ugly ones.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Belle: all the food she ate in bournemouth was?? so good??

Simba: ugaliiiii, it always makes him think of kenya

Toulouse: frozen grapes are his fave, he is a picky eater lowkey

Bambi: food is the bane of his existence cuz he’s allergic to EVERYTHING

Sweet: not particularly

Perdita: misses the russian tea room in NYC it was her fave brunch spot

Maui: misses the fresh fruit in hawai’i

Hercules: one of his fave thigns to do at the places he lives is eat at the local restaurants. 

Akela: eh not really

Attina: also not particularly

Peach: eh

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Belle: yes but it is VERY hard to trigger it. and she like??? throws things or hits u if she is really mad. she’s not gonna like punch you in the face but she’ll shove or pinch. if she yells it’s all like teary and voice cracking and pathetic. 

Simba: yes–and it’s easily triggered haha. when he’s angry he gets loud. can throw something down if he is holding it (like a dish in the sink or something) but he isn’t really physical w his anger–he’s v conscious of that fact that he is like a big bloke and that could be rly scary and his anger is scary enough. but if u really piss him off his anger can be p cold.

Toulouse: cold and scathing. lou is a master of converting his anger into like the smallest space possible, which is why he’s so good at just delivering cold, cutting lines designed to just destroy you. his father had like Big Loud anger and lou refuses to be like that. 

Bambi: doesn’t really have a temper, like–at all

Perdita: screaming/yelling/throwing/hitting–throws a tantrum when she is really pissed off.

Sweet: he has a temper but it is rarely seen. he will get Loud and Angry though. but it never lasts long. he gets more annoyed than angry.

Maui: literally like?? never gets angry–too chill.

Hercules: cries. lmao. if he is angry he just cries and like “why would u do that” sniff sniff puppy eyes

Akela: cold and level-headed anger

Peach: rarely gets angry–and if she does she’ll smile to your face and then fuck you up behind your back.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

(i love sleeping questions why?)

Belle: rn it’s shit, she barely catches a few hours. when she was sleeping reguarly she gets a good 6-7 hours. doesn’t have trouble falling asleep unless she’s trying to solve a problem. has a lumpy old mattress tbh. also she does snore a lil bit but like cute snores and only when she’s sleeping really deeply. also she normally wears like ratty tees and silky or sofie pajama shorts – in the winter like sweaters and fleece pants bc she gets cold, tho not as much of a problem now lol

Simba: sleeps in the nude. can fall asleep in .5 seconds. wakes up intermittently from nightmares–usually exacerbated by stress. wakes up at sunrise naturally almost every morning. gets like 4-5 hours usually and cat naps. idk his mattress is prolly middle ground wow do u think simber argued about their mattress bc i bet ber is a wimpy soft-mattress boi

Toulouse: has a really hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. a ridiculously light sleeper. wakes up several times in the night. has night terrors. sleeps in, but not that long most mornings. sometimes goes days without sleep if he’s having a manic episode. soft plush mattress w lots of pillows and blankets. wears silky fancy pajamas to bed bc he’s fancy (it’s my hc that he has like adorable pjs that he wears on the lowkey with like fish patterns or something ridiculous little duckies.)

Bambi: can sleep anywhere, would sleep 20+ hours a day if allowed. growing teenage boy. snores (allergies man), will sleep on any mattress. is used to an uncomf one bc his mom couldn’t rly afford a good one.

Perdita: before the babies perdy didn’t have trouble sleeping. would totally sleep in on the weekends and such. her mom would yell at her if she slept too long. now she takes naps throughout the day to survive. hard mattress, tbh. wears fancy pjs

Sweet: sleeps in boxers/t-shirt most of the time. sleeps wherever, whenever, what is a good night’s sleep? he doesn’t know.

Maui: will sleep anywhere. in any position. in any level of undress. sleeps in briefs usually. 

Akela: sleeps in the nude tbh he like barely wears clothes anyway. can sleep a decent amount of time but never for more than like 7 hours.

Peach: a princess. she actually has a lot of trouble getting to sleep but sleeps hard once she is. wears cute pjs. likes a soft mattress. lots of pillows, only one sheet thou.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Belle: being inadequate/being overbearing/annoying/stupid/worthless – she doesn’t get genuinely frightened that much tbh but she’s like a gasp-clutch-at-the-chest overdramatic kind of scared lol she fights through it tho

Simba: not being Good enough, in the sense of like…a good person. he also lowkey doesn’t like the dark. and he gets angry when he’s scared he confronts fear face on.

Toulouse: being pointless/irrelevant–also does not like the dark lowkey prolly sleeps w a night light lmao – he internalizes his fear, but will freeze up when confronted w something scary.