#i totally forgot this side blog exists lmao

[cookie-arts]

I forgot to post this here ^^;

Here's my fan art of Ikemen Vampire's Isaac Newton, Twisted Wonderland's Azul Ashengrotto, and Auburn (@azulashengrottospiano)

I was supposed to color this but the color pencils are missing T T so I'll just post it like this

Thoughts while drawing:

Azul is the easiest one to draw. 8/10

Auburn is the second easiest. I did have some trouble with the skirt pleats. 7.5/10

Isaac. Isaac was VERY hard to draw. The most time-consuming part. My neck hurt while drawing him 😭. I'm not that happy with his hair. A pain in the ass. 4/10

I was playing a kalimba cover of Piano Duet from the Corpse Bride on repeat. It was beautiful.

My pen malfunctioned while I was tracing the sketch so it's kinda messy when you look closely.

This drawing was based on this template (I don't know where it came from tho T T)

[big-brainrot-hours]

Reply to: @nicebonescomrade on my post about wanting to talk about sagau with someone

Hey hey! I love ur work but i can’t follow u from here (bc this is a side blog) but i follow from my main! ANYWAY I've taken this as my chance to dump a bunch of headcnaons out (as I would if I had friends) so here it is!!

Also I got a bit excited and got kinda carried away, so this got a bit longer than I meant it to be lmao

Warnings: SAGAU, mentions of blood and abuse, general sagau warnings

Headcanons under the cut

Zhongli may consider himself the most devoted acolyte, but really it’s Xiao. As I wrote in my last fic, Xiao was the last one to feel the creator’s light and warmth before they left Teyvat, and he was the first one to sense it again when they arrived, regardless of whether they arrived in Liyue or not.

In my lore, the reason people want visions so badly is not just because of the powers they may get, but also because having a vision means you have a higher chance of the creator themselves noticing you. This is based on how all the playable characters have visions of some sort.

In this Teyvat, having a vision also brings you closer to the creator because, although the stars guide everyone's paths, only vision holders have their own personal constellations.

When the god (player) rolls constellations for a character in real life, the stars in a character’s constellation in the sky of Teyvat will glow visibly brighter. In my sagau, Xiao’s constellation is currently the brightest in the sky, and that is reflected in how his hair, eyes, and the markings under his clothes glow. (This is because, as of writing this, I have him at c5. I could’ve gotten him to c6 if I didn’t also roll 2 Qiqis and a Diluc during his first banner 😔. I WILL be getting his c6 during his rerun tho.)

OKAY SO I love, love, l o v e the thought of the creator bleeding gold, but I also love the imposter aus, and it doesn’t make much sense to have both of those together? Because they would totally notice if darling bled gold. SO what if instead, their blood fresh out of their body is red, but it doesn’t turn gold until it starts to dry?

With that said, imagine the archon’s horror when they finally track down the "imposter" only to find them laying in a pool of liquid gold, and they finally notice that the cuts and scars and bleeding wounds are drying gold? How horrified would the people be if they went to clean the imposter's filthy blood off the walls to prevent it from staining their cities any further, only to see their own terrified expressions reflected back at them in the gold?

Okay, so this is gonna be what, the third time I’ve mentioned Xiao? And my third sagau post, and he’s been in all three of them? But it doesn’t matter; he’s my favorite, and naturally, this au will be influenced by my experiences anyway- In my sagaus, unless it’s a version that specifically says otherwise, Xiao will ALWAYS recognize the creator. He was born with the creator’s warmth and light, he’s felt it for as long as he could remember, and he remembers it better than most. However, as I wrote about in my other post, there was a time he didn’t remember. There was a time where he couldn’t remember his god’s name, or even their existence. And the first thing he did after being freed from Osial’s control was relearning all the prayers he had forgotten and trying everything to remember the feeling of his god’s light. He spent so long relearning everything about his god that he couldn't forget them again. So no matter what, no matter how much all the other nations call darling an imposter, Xiao knows. He forgot you once, and he refuses to let it happen again.

The reason all the "monsters" in the game can recognize Darling as their god when the others can’t is because they’re more humble. The people of Teyvat, although recognizing their god is higher than them, are still very entitled. They believe that wealth and offerings, monuments and statues are what’s going to please the god. They expect their god to give them a grand show when they enter Teyvat, some sort of sight of gold and light or whatever. So when their creator, a being of kindness and humility, appears before them as a normal ass human, they refuse to accept it, and are quicker to call them an imposter than an actual god. The monsters don’t have this mindset. They (and xiao and the people of Khaenri'ah) know that the creator doesn’t care about wealth or who has the nicest shrine or altar or whatever. The creator doesn’t care if you call them by some fancy title, they just care that you welcome them with open arms and extend kindness to others where you can. So the monsters are a lot more chill about it. (Xiao’s a bit in the middle of both, although the reason he isn’t as chill about it as he used to be is not because of human influence, but rather due to the trauma he has endured and the belief that he has to earn his god’s forgiveness, as if it was his fault that what happened to him happened. I’ll probably make him another post for that alone lmao)

Wow this sure is turning into a Xiao post huh lmao. Anyway, when they (the other adepti and the yakshas) agreed to a contract with Morax, one of the points of the contract was that if the creator ever entered Teyvat, their orders were to be ranked above Morax’s. So even if what the creator asked them to do was in direct violation of the contract, they could still follow it through because it’s more important. HOWEVER, this was never an issue for Xiao. Xiao is not loyal to Morax, Liyue, or even the other yakshas. He is loyal to his god and his god alone. Nobody else will ever take precedence over them, and he will never swear his allegiance to another being, because it is only reserved for his god. Because of this, in my sagau, Xiao doesn’t have an official contract with Morax and just does what he asks if he feels like his god would appreciate it.

Speaking of Khaenri'ah, the people of Khaenri'ah did not have a god ruling directly over them, so they learned to develop technology themselves. They still revere the creator and hold them in higher regard than all other beings, of course, but they also see their lack of a ruling god as a gift. It was the creator's way of allowing them a chance to learn independence and to not over rely on higher powers to handle everything for them. Because of this, they recognize that the creator would not really care about huge, grand displays of worship but is rather more chill. After all, if the god of gods cared about extreme shows of worship, wouldn’t they take the chance to rule the nation without a god themselves instead of leaving them godless?

Hhhhhh that’s all I’ve got for now, but if u (or anyone else) has thoughts I would love to hear them!!!!! This au is quickly turning into one of my favorites lmao

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Dick Grayson x GN!Reader in: They Never Stood a Chance

12 Days of Batmas || Day 6—Baking Cookies

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: the franken-bat rises || ugly sweaters

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 6 | jay day 6 | tim day 6 ||

“Richard my love, why are you this way?”

He shrugs at that, laughing a bit. “Poor impulse control, probably. A better question is why do you love me for it?”

Look. It was his cheat day, okay?

↠ Requested By: Not a soul lol ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs: There’s some implied intimacy in the ficlet. Nothing too racy, but you definitely can tell where things are heading lol… ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 1.6k~

Headcanon || WC: ~1k

🌟 Ya know, I low-key/high-key feel like I write Dick as a walking amalgamation of every cutesy Hallmark MC that has ever existed, but like…

I think it’s valid?

He’s just so damn wholesome imo, and yes I know that he’s certainly not without his faults, but… My guys—he’s always trying to better both himself as well as the world at large and I absolutely adore him for it.

Seriously, how can you not love this literal ray of sunshine, like at least a little?? He’s so damn cute and sweet and thoughtful and funny and beautiful both inside and out—he’s the whole damn package!

But this is all super tangential to this HC so let’s move on.

🌟 Anyways!

🌟 I know some people see Dick as the kind of dude that’d be hopeless in the kitchen, but this is a whole ass man y’all, one with very specific dietary demands. He’s not always the most practical guy, but he does know the importance of keeping himself fed.

And if you just gotta eat, why not make it tasty?

He’s not out here getting his Gordon Ramsay on, but he can put together some p. nice meals. Yeah, they’re usually on the basic side, but they’re always yummy and well-balanced.

He’d be lying if he said that dessert wasn’t his favorite part of any meal, and as such he almost always has it in some form or another, even if it’s just a bit of fruit.

🌟 He lives for his cheat days, so it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that he’s a better baker than he is a cook.

Again, he’s not making 5-star dishes, but what he does make he makes well, and with cookies being relatively easy anyway they’re definitely at the top of his list.

He doesn’t even think twice about whipping up a batch or two—or three or four…

Look. He likes having options, okay? And cookies freeze really well soooo…

🌟 Baking cookies—especially Christmas/the winter holiday of your choosing cookies—with him really is like something out of a movie.

But like minus the mess. Sure tossing random ingredients around looks all cute/silly/fun on screen, but trying to get flour out of your hair and-or the grout work of your floor is a bitch, never mind hazardous given how slick it is underfoot.

Plus he doesn’t like being needlessly wasteful, especially around the holidays when there’re so many families going without. He gives both his time and his money when and where he can, but he’s still a good steward even when he’s behind closed doors.

That said he isn’t above swiping your lips with a bit of icing just so he can have an excuse to smooch it off of you. God, this man, I cannot…

((just in case you somehow forgot that it’s always soft simpin’ for Richard John Grayson hours in this house lmao))

🌟 It’s gonna take you forever and a day just to get through one batch because he’s gonna be all over you, as usual.

Lots of back hugs and kisses and cuddles and general flirty glombing that one would expect from him.

Hey, it’s not his fault you’re so damn cute! You’re in your comfiest clothes and rumpled in that way that says you’re content and not planning on going anywhere, and he loves that you let him see you like this—all unguarded and snuggly looking—and it’s making his heart do that thing where it beats extra hard and fuck but he loves you and how could he ever hope to keep that to himself?

More importantly why would he want to? You—the object of his affection/desire/every good dream he’s ever had—is right here in front of him, and by his estimation you most certainly deserve to know exactly what it is you do to him…

For the most part he’s pretty direct about expressing his affections, but he’ll try to be sly on occasion. Like, he’ll swear that he’s just trying to help you stir something and then basically recreate that pottery scene from Ghost lmfao.

You know the scene I’m talking about but if you somehow don’t, here. But be warned, this particular clip doesn’t have any background music and is awkward as all hell because of it, but dammit if I had to hear it I’m gonna make it your problem too lol…

🌟 His favorite cookies to decorate are plain sugar cookies, more specifically the snowflake shaped ones.

He finds them to be elegant and classic. There’s just something so delicate and charming about the royal icing pipework and the large grained sugar sprinkle. They are very much what he thinks of first when he thinks of Christmas/winter-themed cookies.

Aside from that he really likes novelty shapes, esp. those related to the Bats. Catch him out here making custom batches for each of his siblings with their own cutters lol. They always pretend to be annoyed, but cannot hide their smiles when they’re eating miniature versions of themselves…

…or the vicious grins that pull at their lips when they make direct eye contact with each other as they bite the head/various limbs off of one sibling on another lmao. It, uhh, it makes for interesting dining if nothing else—a mildly macabre show to go with your meal lol.

🌟 As far as eating goes… Look, I personally canon this man as having the palate of a toddler lol. If it’s sweet then he’s down. But if we’re talking holiday themed cookies…

He’d probably pick chocolate peppermint cookies—bonus points if you actually top them with crushed peppermints! Anything to get that little bit of extra sugar in lol, plus he likes the added crunch.

🌟 Overall, baking with Dick is just a really adorable experience. I swear the two of you are like a living breathing ‘Couple’s Goals’ post, and honestly? I’m here for it.

They Never Stood a Chance || WC: 600~

“I know it’s your cheat day and all, but is it really worth giving yourself another stomachache?”

Your teasing chide sees Dick’s shoulders bunching up while his head sinks down to meet them. As he chances a sheepish glance back at you, you’re left to wonder how he manages to make his frame look so small and damn near childlike. Given the impressive build of him it should be all but impossible, but when he’s giving you those ‘please stop perceiving me and my mistakes’ eyes with a half-eaten cookie hanging from his lips it kinda makes sense.

Bracing yourself against his waist, you look past him at the platter that had been overflowing with cookies just a couple of hours ago. Dick had offered to take care of the mess in the kitchen while you tidied up elsewhere, and though you had known that he was just waiting to get alone with your newly decorated treats you really hadn’t wanted to bust any suds. And so against your better judgement you had left him to it hoping that the memory of last week’s candy cane fiasco would keep him from doing anything too questionable.

Looking at the few scant cookies that are left now, however, you realize how foolishly optimistic you’d been.

“Richard my love, why are you this way?”

He shrugs at that, laughing a bit. “Poor impulse control, probably. A better question is why do you love me for it?”

Well, he’s certainly got you there.

Some of his habits may not be the healthiest—though he has been steadily winnowing out the worst, most self-destructive of them—and his ‘act now, think about it later, maybe’ attitude has gotten him into just as much trouble as it’s gotten him out of, but… Well that’s just all a part of what makes Richard John Grayson, Richard John Grayson, and you really do love him for it.

Honestly you’d much rather have him like this, occasionally questionable dietary choices and all, than to just have parts of him. There are so many out there that think they know him well, but in truth their acquaintanceship is as hollow as the smiles he graces them with.

Gotham is in love with a façade and rightly so. His public facing persona is nothing less than perfection, a unbearably charming mask that has been carefully cultivated and studiously maintained over the years, but when the clock strikes twelve and pretenses are cast aside there are only a select few that get to see the man that lies behind it all. You have no idea what you’ve done to be counted among their number, but you thank every good thing this universe has ever produced that you are.

This is why you know better than to pile on him because at the end of the day no one is harder on Dick than he is on himself, and in this particular instance he’ll definitely be feeling the results of his actions in short order, you’re sure. Instead you grab a bottle Perrier from the fridge before pulling him into the living room with you.

The position you take up is a familiar one, with you sitting and Dick’s head resting in your lap while the rest of him is splayed out along the length of the sofa. The water is placed on the table’s edge for ease of reach, though for now both of your hands occupy themselves with one another. You trace the fine bones of his fingers from where they rest atop his stomach, circling their joints as you go. Meanwhile Dick’s free hand finds your own, and after placing a kiss on your palm, rests it against his eyes in an attempt to block out the light. It isn’t the most comfortable position, it definitely won’t be sustainable for any considerable length of time, but for now you’re content to enjoy the silence with your love.

Up Next:

🌟 Day 7: A Compromise with Indigo Eyes || Decorating Your Home

“Richard John, we are not leaving our Christmas decorations up year ‘round.”

“But it’d save us so much time! Plus think of the potential for halloween—instant Nightmare Before Christmas vibes.”

“…you’re making points, but also no.”

But think of the possibilities tho!

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2020 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[mageglory]

Dragon Age Redemption (of a Plot) Part 2

And here we go with the continuation, folks. I still tag @dalishious since I started this after a rewatch organized by her blog before disappearing in the world of exams. Part 3, the last part, is already done and will arrive for the end of the day. Are we done? Let's go.

-After Josmael heals his wound and accuses Tallis of stabbing him, Tallis does her "I've proven a point by stabbing you" bit and Josmael, who's kind but not going to validate this, says "and this was the best way?" but ultimately follows them because he wants to help his clan.

-Cairn does his "I'm not working with an apostate they are evil" bit but when he says "my job is to lock them up or exterminate them" Josmael points up his hypocrisy (and also points up that tecnically he is NOT an Apostate, he's part of a different religion. He's a First) Cairn obviously ignores him/tells him to shut up, then Tallis goes "well you two will have to keep an eye on the other and follow me them" because she's so neutral and wise /s

-"We hoped the elder of our clan Yeven escaped the Chantry" "nobody escapes the Templars" "The Sarebaas did" brings out the "The Chantry killed him?!?" "No he was being examined" piece and in answer Josmael tells that humans sometimes attack dalish who wander too far away from the clan and torture them (like we see the templars do in da2 and in many other occasions). Cairn takes offence and Josmael answers that "examined" is just torture so he has no right to talk. Tallis points out the Sarebaas involvement and tells Cairn to keep up and Josmael gives Cairn a silent sideye.

-They still have the conversation when Cairn tells Josmael that it's better his loved ones died when he was young "feels less painful this way". Josmael starts answering coldly, but he's immediatey interrupted by Tallis qun wisdom before he can tell anything. Josmael answers, angrily, that love doesn't makes people selfish but it's what matters in the world and to help the casual DA fan to get who's right the conversation mirrors the romancing Warden and Wynne dialogue from Origins, with Tallis saying duty is all that matters and Josmael saying it's better to love and loose that not love at all. But we skip the Cairn x Tallis bit yes? yes. He just say love matters and that they are old. The duo laughs at that and say they are half the age of the dalish elders, and Josmael looks at them and says "I did not meant age. You are old inside".

-We skip the "Templars aren't allowed to marry bit" because WHAT IS SER WEASLEY THEN BIOWARE.

-The gang ambushes Sarebaas in the cave, still busy doing his "magic is unknown even to mages and what is a little blood for a lot of power" bit. That was a bit cliche but cool, a classic villain monologue and I can appreciate the classics.

-The battle starts and I laugh at the special effects used for magic, but basically it goes as in canon there, with Nyree the Reaver defeating Cairn and breaking the philactery. The mask of Fen'Harel activates. Also the scene where Tallis shows Sarebaas his collar and his "never again" stays, because it's cool, but Sarebaas is shown recoil on instinctive fear at it because we are gonna point out that he's the main villain but his hate of the Qun is justified. The bad guys get away and the "good" guys (lmao Josmael is the only good one there) + Nyree are trapped in the cave.

-The new episode opens up with Josmael being the only one to clear the rabble because "responsable" for them being trapped (which is a ridicolous argument but w/) while Cairn interrogates Nyree. When Nyree says that as mercenary she does not talk and Cairn hits her, Nyree laughs and asks Cairn if that's what he does to mages and if so he should put more energy in it because he's pathetic. When Cairn attacks again he's stopped by Tallis that tells him that Nyree is a reaver and it was a trap to make him angrier since she gets more powerful with more pain. And also because I like to think that Nyree like Zevran is a decent person so while she was totally provoking him the dab at the Templars was honest. #MageRights

-Cairn says to Tallis that the philactery is now broken and the two have a fight that deranges in something that can be summed up as "what kind of chantry fool lets our best way to get our Sarebaas back be destroyed" "shutup knife ears" and Nyree laughs at them and say she knows what the Sarebaas is going to do. Tallis pays handsomely Nyree to side with them and shamelessy confess to have stolen from the Keeper wagon. Josmael retorts, in a baffled/horripilates tone, that those money belong to the clan and should br used to help them all and she had no right to it.

-Tallis answers that capturing Sarebaas will help them all and basically ignores all of Josmael rightful anger. Cairn yells at the apostate that he would have totally killed Sarebaas if not for Josmael incompetence.

-Nyree proves that Cairn was basically torturing mages, remembering him from the prison. Josmael, still angry, sides with Nyree but Cairn is unrepentant. Tallis cuts off the discussion and the gang discovers that Sarebaas is going to Sundermount. Josmael rightfull is in anxiety at the idea of the woman he loves being killed for a blood magic sacrifice.

-Josmael looks at them broodingly/angrily in silence while they talk but then sighs and tells them of the shortcut.

-"What you know of this ruins?" "It's an ancient place of power from our people time" and Tallis goes with her "not our, yours". I shake my fist angrily at Bioware dividing elves but let it pass since honestly Tallis they are better without you get off that high horse.

-Lmao I forgot Nyree asks if Sarebaas could destroy qunari and chantry using the mask to call an army of demons. That's kinda of one my Tevinter ocs plan *toasts a drink to my gloriously evil woman*

-Nyree rightfully points out that Sarebaas was hurt and enslaved all his life and wants revenge but instead of saying "he's pissed at the world" she more openly says that the Qun made this. Tallis answers the usual propaganda of the qun piece of Sarebaas needing control and that's the only piece where I allow some Tallis x Cairn and only in a sarcastic sense. Nyree looks at them and tells Tallis she's no better than the Templars, even if she thinks she is and sarcastically adds "you two would make a great couple, killing kids together for their magic"

-They reach the conveniently placed carboard of an inn in the middle of nowhere instead that near abitations of roads. I'm sure they make great buisness.

-They talk while eating and Nyree informs them and us that she's from Nevarra, which explains why she is more open to magic than many others. If you are a casual DA fan don't worry, because Cairn will try to take a dab at the Mortalitasi, calling them "wicked necromancers" and trying to insult Nyree which gives our favourite woman in the group the occasion to shut him up and also briefly talk about the mortalitasi and say "the grip of the Chantry is weaker there".

-Then they talk about the Reavers abilities and at least there everyone is like "wow cool" because yes reavers are great and we should have knightly orders of reavers instead of chevaliers.

-Obbligatory Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena mention (<3) that part stays the same because I hate how Tallis tries to get in Nyree head but Nyree is perfectly capable to shut her up without my help.

-Josmael asks about Tallis mission, Tallis talks about qunari titles and how she was demoted and how she killed an orlesian slaver. Literally the only vaguely bonding part of the gang, if we ignore the Cairn and Tallis romance subplot (and we do, it doesn't exist. He still compliments her but not in a romancey way)

-For clarity Tallis still can/does vaguely flirt with Cairn in this scene but it is the typical spy flirt she does with Hawke too since the start and it is obvious both to Cairn and the audience than theres no romance and it's just part of Tallis personality (and as long as she doesn't stab mages Tallis can do what she wants)

-The "do you have to flirt all the time?" "no but I like it" bit is useful to make Nyree joke about the other two members of the group to Josmael. Because their friendship is amazing and I love them more than Cairn and Tallis.

-Then we got to the fighty part in the inn and both me and Galria Brosca cry of happiness at the existance of such a (Cailain voice) GLORIOUS rubber-made warhammer.

[chaoticgood-queer]

So full disclosure I forgot this blog existed lmao.

I’ve been posting WAY too much dnd on my new personal blog and I think I finally decided I’m going to officially convert this blog into my new dnd/dice appreciation side blog!! If you don’t like dnd feel free to unfollow I totally understand (I might still reblog other fandom/meme stuff as well)

But if you do like dnd feel free to stay a while!

[cowboylikedean]

FIRST THOUGHTS

Okay everyone welcome to my Lover first thoughts!!!

Overall: I love this album. It isn’t what I expected at first, I was expecting something stripped an acoustic but it is what I hoped for. If I wasn’t going to have stripped and acoustic, I wanted something Bubblegum in the modern way Carly Rae Jepsen is and guess what? I got an album that sounds like my FAVORITE parts of EMOTION from nearly top to bottom. This album is a lot so it’s gonna take a while fo me to digest, but I adore it. It’s already up there with Speak Now, Red, and reputation in my top tier. 

Below is my track by track

I Forgot That You Existed: I’ve seen people skip over this one but honestly? I needed it. I don’t know who she’s talking about, she lost a lot of friends summer 2016. But I am singing about that jackass who up and left my life and took me for several hundred dollars and then laughed as his asshole boyfriend posted a long ass blog post lying about me, misgendering me for sport, and making fun of me all while laughing about how he’s “not nice” (and being proud of that) when even HIS FOLLOWERS called him out for being cruel. I had that moment where I forgot that he existed and it was so freeing. This is gonna be one of my most listened to.

Cruel Summer: This song. Holy wow. Like talk about bridge city I guess lmao! Nah but it’s a vibe. and the chorus is so exciting and like I mentioned Carly Rae Jepsen and like THE CHORUS CAN’T  YOU HEAR HER???? I love this theme all over this album about falling into a relationship with someone in the midst of something hard or pushing through something difficult with someone. Cruel Summer is the first instance of this in this album and I’m going to need more time with the lyrics… There’s little things that I’m gonna need more time with… But I adore this vibe where she’s like telling the other side of Getaway Car. In Getaway Car we learned that you can’t run away from your problems, it doesn’t end well. In Cruel Summer we find her release in doing so. We find how that release of running away was what she needed to find herself and stability again. We find that without her past, she could never have arrived so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance… here.

Lover: Instant fave the second I heard it. Best love song she’s ever written and I 100% understand why she named the album Lover. This track is beautiful and the slower tempo doesn’t in any way detract from the sheer joy and excitement expressed in the song. It’s a public declaration of a private love in the most excited way and I get it. Also I did get some acoustic singer songwriter on this album!!

The Man: DID I HEAR TAYLOR SAY BITCH TWICE?!?!??!? also fuck she’s right. and I GUESSED HOW THE LYRICS WE HAD WOULD SOUND AND I WAS RIGHT i felt like a bomb when that happened. hahah tbh though, not my fave. Don’t get me wrong, far from the worst but just kind middle of the road to me. Also I think it’s the breakdown after the chorus that pushes it towards the middle to me. But again… Bridge city. The bridge is by far the best part of this song. 

The Archer: I still think this is my favorite song on the album. It has already helped me so much and I think Taylor and I feel depression, anxiety, and other stuff very similarly. Basically everything she’s released about it has highly resonated with me. I have so much to say about this song and its impact on me but I don’t think if I said all of that it would be much relevant to this post. Basically, I never grew up it’s getting so old. This song helps me grow up.

I Think He Knows: This song is so fucking fun and cute I jive and the chorus again I feel the Carly Rae vibes… I also love “bless my soul” like that’s such a great lyric. This is another one I feel is middle of the road for this album though. Like as a pop song, it’s top rate. As this album, it’s middle of the road. I’m happy to hear the vocoder again though! 

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince: So I love this song. Everyone loves this song but I love this song both as its political commentary and just a commentary on depression in general. Like as a song about the specific depression and disappointment that struck us all after the 2016 election, it’s nearly flawless. As a song about disappointment and depression in general, it’s nearly flawless. I really love both readings but in the later, I really love the line “they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl” because in this reading, I like to see that about Taylor and how she is Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince. idk I think the fact that this song can work in both contexts’ and have completely separate meanings speaks to the strength of the songwriting. I’m so impressed. She hit it out of the park with this one.

Paper Rings: OKAY SECOND FAVORITE/TIED WITH FAVORITE HAPPY LOVE SONG WOW WOWOWOWOW The Last Kiss reference, the vibe that sounds like a teen movie when the kids break out and are running wild and free, idk why but I love “The moon is high just like your friends when we first met” it’s just so…. vivid. You cannot miss the feeling of freedom. This song is about finding freedom in love. Falling in love is the most exciting and free feeling in the world, whether that is romantic love or not and this song captures that feeling when you get to that ledge and you just….. slip. And the best part is it works for everything. Like idk I’ve always been able to take the feeling a song presents and take it out of its specific context and apply it to another instance of that feeling so I can easily take this song about the freely falling in love and look around and find hundreds of applications. Every time you love something or someone to the point where you don’t need anything else than what they give you to feel whole and complete, this song is there in the background reminding you that you do in fact like shiny things, but you don’t need them. Because this thing or person is all you need. LIKE STOP IT’S SO GOOD also 100% if she sang it with a country accent, it’d be a country hit. It sounds so much like Sam Hunt I cannot even, i have died.

Cornelia Street: The ROOFFKLJDSLKFJKSLDJFKLSDJLKFJLKSDF also like I am here for the storytelling songwriting so much. This is another one I need more time with but I think it’s already a classic. Again, it’s so nice to here something other than “I love you and everything is great” I mean it is like that but it’s the fear of being forced to say goodbye and how that would feel. It’s knowing you’ve gone all in and there’s no turning back. I see this song so beautiful contrasted with All Too Well. All Too Well focuses on a heartbreak that only time could help, but it seemed like time wouldn’t. It takes you through the beginning, middle, and end of that relationship and explains why it hurts so much. Cornelia Street takes us through this relationship, especially the beginning, and explains why this would be a heartbreak time couldn’t fix. It’s so vulnerable and honest in some really beautiful and profound ways.

Death by a Thousand Cuts: Okay so first of all, I would ADORE this song if that very low bass and synths weren’t there. I don’t know why they’re there but it muddles they for me and I can’t focus on anything because it’s like everything else is covered in a thick layer of mud trying to move around. Second I have no idea who or what this song was written about but it’s jarring to hear a breakup song on this album. I love asking the traffic lights if it will be okay and them saying “I don’t know.” Like that’s honestly incredible writing. We’ve all had those times when we’re hurting or scared and we’re in the car and we’re looking for a sign it will be okay but we have nothing. Also I need more time with the second verse. There’s so much there, I haven’t had time yet to process.

London Boy: “But God, I Love the English.” Yep you got a TYPE GIRL!! this song is so fun!! it’s so bragging… I love it! She’s just like “yeah I love a London Boy what OF IT BITCH” and it just feels like a mic drop like she’s like doing that move where you slam your hands at your crotch like a dick??? like idk it’s such a bde to me. Like she’s name dropping all these London things and bragging about how she’s English now because she’s got this guy and bragging about her type and her Anglophile fetish and idk it just feels like “you got something to SAY??!??!?!” I’ve heard that vibe is very London but idk because I do not have a london boy like she does.

Soon You’ll Get Better: Either Taylor played the album in the wrong order for these fans at the secret sessions or something because this 100% is that song she couldn’t listen to. I have heard it once and I am doubtful to listen to it again. I have listed to Ronan 3 times total. Soon You’ll Get Better is up there. I can’t. I’m so lucky my Dad is in remission and has been for 10 years… If his cancer came back, I don’t know what I’d do. It’s my biggest fear. And the Dixie Chicks sound beautiful on this track, so does the plucking country instrumentals. Gorgeous. I just… can’t. I admire Taylor and family for sharing this, but I can’t.

False God: I understand why this comes after Soon You’ll Get Better. She needs that thing to fall into, to give herself over into. The hard times my hurt and might be difficult, but they don’t end a relationship. Soon You’ll Get Better is a really hard time and a sick parent can put a lot of stress on a relationship and False God feels like the perfect way to pick up the main overaching love story and give it a response to Soon You’ll Get Better. It’s hard, but they can get through it. Even if it’s a false god, they’ll be there. That said, this song is far from my favorite. I feel so disconnected from it. It just feels boring. I get sucked in the last few lines of the pre-chours where she rushes through the lyrics and then the chorus is nice, but by the time the chorus ends, I’m bored again. The production gives me almost nothing. It feels like What A Feeling… a perfectly fine song, but boring as fuck and like it’s got a vibe that I don’t really fuck with. Like it feels like a song you get high to… and I don’t get high often, and I only do it ever when I’m going to sleep. So it feels like I’m going to sleep.

You Need to Calm Down: Let me start by prefacing that I ADORE the song. It was really important for her to say and I needed something to respond to the internet’s take down cancel culture and remind me not to get in the middle of the fights. However, this song sticks out like a sore thumb to me. It doesn’t feel like it fits. Coming after False God it feels like a complete outlier and like it doesn’t relate to the rest of the album. I could see an argument that it is about basic human respect and that kind of love and therefore has its place, but is this placement in the tracklist it??? I am thankful for the break when YNTCD comes because Soon You’ll Get Better is so heavy that it caries over to False God, but YNTCD feels completely unnecessary if you skip Soon You’ll Get Better and all of that heartbreak. Again though, it’s a classic and I adore it. Just not sure if I adore it for this album.

Afterglow: It’s so nice to hear a song from Taylor in which she apologizes and makes up after a fight. I don’t know why but I was worried she wouldn’t let us into the fights her and Joe have. That we would be outside. But like Ed said in End Game “you know that good and bad end up in a song.” Having a song from Taylor after 13 years that shows her experiencing conflict with a partner, apologizing, and ends without an end to the relationship…. And in this song it’s different from how she previously portrayed conflict too. Mine, in it’s hypothetical, expresses her “partner” chasing after her in. ME! (which we’ll get to in a second) also shows that kind of conflict resolution. Afterglow shows her taking responsibility and chasing after them. It’s one of my favorites for sure. Never underestimate the value of an apology. I have a lot to say.

ME!: First of all, fuck everyone “Hey kids, spelling is fun!” is hilarious and I cannot BELIEVE she took it out I am pissed. Second, I like this song so much more in the context of the album. Coming after Afterglow, it is important the next song both take responsibility for her negative traits that lead to that conflict and also not dwell on it. Me takes the whole conflict of Afterglow and reframes it from “I fucked up please don’t leave. Love me despite my flaws?” to “I know I’m difficult, but I am also so much more and damnit, I love me so I know you do too.” While the production still feels a bit hokey, I understand it’s purpose. I will forever be bitter about spelling is fun and you all are so mean. I hope you enjoy what you’ve done monsters.

It’s Nice to Have a Friend: My least favorite song on the album. It’s just so boring to me. The steel drums are nice, but it doesn’t feel like it ever goes anywhere. The chorus is too short and simple and I just feel nothing. idk I like the story I guess… meet in school, hang out timid first step… but then it ends in marriage? Haven’t we done this with Mary’s Song? idk i think I would like it better with a bridge in between the second chorus and the third verse because it’s like they skip the whole dating step. They go meeting, timid first step, MARRIAGE!!!! and the chorus is just not enough to separate second step from third. That and the fact the production doesn’t really go anywhere… It’s just so one note and boring and without any sort of conflict. I get it’s supposed to be like a daydream, I think… but even day dreams have conflicts. idk it’s a bad story because there’s no movement. 

Daylight: I see why this album was almost named Daylight. I’m going need a lot more time with this song. I can see it being one of my favorite Taylor songs ever eventually but I need to memorize every second of it to let myself go into it. The Red reference FUCKED ME UP. And the voice message at the end. And just the release of this song. The whole thing is an exhale. A total release of tension. It’s truly astonishing. Like I said though, to really immerse myself in it, I’m going to need to memorize it. Because it’s a release of tension, to find that and feel that, I need to focus on every lyric, every production element, every note and just….. let go. I do think this is one of the most important songs she’s ever written. Both for herself and for the rest of the world. This song is a reminder to breathe. To let it go. To focus on love. To find the love in your life. To not let it get too dark. It’s beautiful and it will keep me going on my path to recovery… as I expect it will for many others too.

Favorites (in order of most to least): The Archer, Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince, Lover = Paper Rings, Afterglow

Least favorites (in order most to least): I Think He Knows, False God, It’s Nice to Have a Friend

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

What I’ve Been Reading #2

Hey People of Earth!

I recently started a new series on this blog (titled above), where I reflect on the last few books I’ve read. I’m doing this mostly to keep myself accountable because I’m notoriously bad at committing myself to reading. So far, reading has been far greater than it’s been in the past--I’m definitely getting into the rhythm of things. I read some amaaaazing books this time around (since approx. November), and these are them:

1. The Darkest Legacy by Alexandra Bracken

This is book four in The Darkest Minds series, and was just recently released (last summer). Whilst I’ve drifted from YA in the last few years, this series was such a huge favourite of mine when I was younger, and I thought I’d give this book a go for nostalgia’s sake. Also, I truly admire Alex as an author, and wanted to support her! Here’s the summary:

Five years after the destruction of the so-called rehabilitation camps that imprisoned her and countless other Psi kids, seventeen-year-old Suzume "Zu" Kimura has assumed the role of spokesperson for the interim government, fighting for the rights of Psi kids against a growing tide of misinformation and prejudice. But when she is accused of committing a horrifying act, she is forced to go on the run once more in order to stay alive. Determined to clear her name, Zu finds herself in an uncomfortable alliance with Roman and Priyanka, two mysterious Psi who could either help her prove her innocence or betray her before she gets the chance. But as they travel in search of safety and answers, and Zu grows closer to the people she knows she shouldn't trust, they uncover even darker things roiling beneath the veneer of the country's recovery. With her future-and the future of all Psi-on the line, Zu must use her powerful voice to fight back against forces that seek to drive the Psi into the shadows and save the friends who were once her protectors.

What drew me to it: Like I mentioned, its mother series was a mega favourite of mine in grade 8, and whilst I’ve grown out of YA, I was curious to see where the story went, five years in the future. I read about 60% of it on page, and listened to the rest on and of over the course of a few months. I started it in August, and finished it on New Year’s Eve. Not the fault of the book, that’s totally me being Very Bad at commitment. I’ve really enjoyed Alex’s novels in audiobook format, and this one was no exception (I think, if I were to read it again, I’d listen to the audiobook: it’s like listening to a television show!)

My rating: 3/5

Why: This is really due to the fact that I no longer am very interested in YA. In all truths, I got into YA early, and got out of it even earlier because apparently I am a sixty year old woman?? I started my journey with YA in grade seven, and it ended around the end of grade eight. After that, I had trouble finding YA books I could enjoy/relate to, not that the books were any less, or bad because of this, but because I was just an injustice to them (I’ve always been a strange reader). This is why I don’t really read YA anymore because I feel like I rate them unfairly because I’m not super big on the category anymore. It just (rightfully) didn’t give me what I’m most currently interested in in books (horrible people; horrible relationships; morally grey protagonists), because of course the category is different to what I read now! With that said, I think, if I’d read this book in my Peak YA Moment (grade 7-8), I’d definitely have given it a 5 star rating. It was super entertaining and funny and nostalgic, and made me miss a series so pivotal in my writing journey. If you love YA, and this series, I think this book is definitely worth the read! That was a thiccccc tangent. 

2. Past Lives, Future Bodies by Kristin Chang

This is a really quick poetry collection (that I spoiler: looooved). This is the summary:

PAST LIVES, FUTURE BODIES is a knife-sharp and nimble examination of migration, motherhood, and the malignant legacies of racism. In this collection, family forms both a unit of survival and a framework for history, agency, and recovery. Chang undertakes a visceral exploration of the historical and unfolding paths of lineage and what it means to haunt body and country. These poems traverse not only the circularity of trauma but the promise of regeneration—what grows from violence and hatches from healing—as Chang embodies each of her ghosts and invites the specter to speak. 

What drew me to it: @shaelinwrites rec’d it to me on my last update, and I fell in love with the premise. I’m *cheap* so was very excited to be gifted it by my Grandma for Christmas. (I actually read it on Christmas!)

My rating: 5/5

Why: Kristin Chang is literally so skilled with her use of the line break? I was shook? This is my second collection of poetry that I’ve read, following (no shade) Rupi Kaur’s The Sun and Her Flowers, which, I felt kinda made the line break feel gimmicky? So this collection definitely reinvented it for me. Her poems are so punchy, and thoughtful, and you can truly feel the experience built into the backbone of every one of them. When I panic wrote some poetry for my writing class, I used it as comfort reference and was amazed at how deliberate she is with her words. I also found so much of its commentary on race so relatable. It’s definitely a collection I’ll keep re-reading. I’d recommend this if, like me, you’re just starting out in poetry--a perfect way to acclimate yourself to a new form!

3. God of Shadows by Lorna Crozier

*Rachel vigorously trying to diversify her reading.* The summary:

The poet Lorna Crozier has always been brilliant at fusing the ordinary with the other-worldly in strange and surprising ways. Now the Governor General's Literary Award-winning author of Inventing the Hawk returns with God of Shadows, a wryly wise book that offers a polytheistic gallery of the gods we never knew existed and didn't know we needed. To read these poems is to be ready to offer your own prayers to the god of shadows, the god of quirks, and the god of vacant houses. Sing new votive hymns to the gods of horses, birds, cats, rats, and insects. And give thanks at the altars of the gods of doubt, guilt, and forgetting. What life-affirming questions have these deities come to ask? Perhaps it is simply this: How can poems be at once so profound, original and lively, and also so much fun?

What drew me to it: At this point I’m just stalking @shaelinwrites​’ Goodreads because her reading taste is on pointttt. I’ve also been dying to read more poetry, and branch out into different forms of writing, so I can be a little *prepared* for school, so I thought I’d take a peek at this collection. 

My rating: 5/5

Why: This collection is so beautiful! I read it super quickly, and fell in love with the concept immediately. I think Crozier explored such unique ideas with super unique language, and I live for it. This collection gave me perspective on ‘gods’ I’d never even thought about. I’d definitely recommend it if you’re looking into reading some prose poetry!

4. The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin

I finished this book today, and now have trust issues and feel like I’m in a constant state of wanting to cry. Here’s the summary:

If you knew the date of your death, how would you live your life?

It's 1969 in New York City's Lower East Side, and word has spread of the arrival of a mystical woman, a traveling psychic who claims to be able to tell anyone the day they will die. The Gold children—four adolescents on the cusp of self-awareness—sneak out to hear their fortunes.

The prophecies inform their next five decades. Golden-boy Simon escapes to the West Coast, searching for love in '80s San Francisco; dreamy Klara becomes a Las Vegas magician, obsessed with blurring reality and fantasy; eldest son Daniel seeks security as an army doctor post-9/11; and bookish Varya throws herself into longevity research, where she tests the boundary between science and immortality.

A sweeping novel of remarkable ambition and depth, The Immortalists probes the line between destiny and choice, reality and illusion, this world and the next. It is a deeply moving testament to the power of story, the nature of belief, and the unrelenting pull of familial bonds.

What drew me to it: I actually don’t know?? I put it on hold at my library in October, and was loaned it in January (looooong waitlist). So I can’t remember why I wanted to read it, probably because 1969 was in the premise lmao. I actually completely forgot about placing a hold on it because it’d been two months, so by the time I got the email notification, I’d forgotten what it was about. Oftentimes, I’m Bad, and leave my loans for weeks, forgetting about them, but I was intrigued by seeing I’d received this loan because I couldn’t remember placing it/why I placed it. I quickly re-read the summary, and immediately started reading because it reminded me a lot of the Haunting of Hill House sibling dynamic, and I was on board!

My rating: 5/5 stars soaked in all my tears

Why: This book is SO good, I literally can’t think about it too much because I will cry, lol. I’m not one to get emotional over books, but this book touched me in a place I didn’t know existed?? Like I didn’t know I had emotions before reading this book?? Apparently I do?? It also left me feeling stunned with a whole bucket of life lessons, and similarly to getting emotional, I’m not a reader to really take away a whole new worldview after reading something, but this book was like NOPE, here’s some THOUGHTS. I think I might’ve loved it so much because the four siblings it follows remind me a lot of my siblings (tag yourself I’m Klara, @sarahkelsiwrites is Varya). I too am a sibling of four with a similar composition to the novel’s (two boys, two girls), so the actual heartbreak of realizing that one day, there ain’t always gonna be four of us struck me so hard I was not prepared?? The characters are BEAUTIFUL, and my heart aches so much after finishing this, I almost don’t know what to do with myself... If you liked the sibling dynamic in the Haunting of Hill House (me!!), you’ll probably dig this book. Benjamin’s writing is also gorgeous; straightforward, but so detailed and lush at the same time. I don’t often see books in third present, so this was a delight for me to read. Also: I’m no expert on any of the topics in this book, but to me, a Fool, this book felt so well researched? This isn’t something I ever notice in books, but it surprisingly really added to the reading experience. 

TL;DR: I’m literally an emotional wreck because of this book and have a whole new perspective on life, if you too want to be an emotional wreck, defs join in on the fUN.

So that’s it for this reading update! All of these books in this update were wonderful! Making me antsy to read more for sure! I’m currently attempting to read more short story collections, so if anyone has recs, hit me up! ‘Scuse me while I go sob!

--Rachel

[smoldinopup]

Jonghyun - The Letter - 2017.06.14 - Fan account

Epic Fan Account of Doom…or Fluffiness (but that sounds less cool)

People who follow my blog attentively might know that I flew to Seoul on Monday to see Jonghyun in concert on June 14, because I only mentioned it like 14142112313 times on here. This trip went as smoothly as room tempered butter on a piece of toast. Pics and a video of my trip and some fun facts can soon be found on my travel blog, but no one cares about that now, right?

Let’s get to the actual content of this post *whips out her non-existent kazoo to play a song*

@krge @gone-with-the-bling, because you two wanted to read it! ^^

I went to SM Town at noon to buy some merchandise. I had typed down everything I wanted on my phone to make things easier for me as well as the staff working at the merchandise stand. When I arrived shortly before 12 around 30 people were already waiting in line (or more like sitting on the floor). Luckily they played Jonghyun and SHINee videos throughout the waiting time on some huge screen, so the time until 1pm passed really quickly. 

It was my turn after only 10 minutes, but by then the kazoo was already sold out, which still shocks me. Not every person in front of me bought one so I’m still wondering how many SM actually sold? 15? I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that they only sold a handful of kazoos. I already read several fan accounts that they were quite short on some of the merchandise in general, but I thought it would get better in week four. Apparently not…I’m still meeh about it, because the kazoo was the one thing I looked forward to the most. Anyway, I got my merchandise (I went a little wild *coughs*. Random side note, the T-shirt is such good quality! I’m in awe and will never take it off again! Especially compared to those flimsy T-Shirts with that ridiculous sizing they had for the FIVE tour in Japan, Jonghyun’s T-shirt can only win.) 

Left side: Jonghyun’s T-shirt (free size) Right side: SHINee’s FIVE T-shirt (size S). The thing with the FIVE T-shirts, before you wash them the print looks beautiful because it’s holographic. After washing it this effect is gone. The material is also much thinner than the one they used for the Jonghyun T-shirt, and the sizing was ridiculous. Those T-shirts were super short as you can see in the photo, but super wide (it’s like a crop trop in a way) I don’t even know how Minho wore that T-shirt with his long upper body. Jonghyun’s T-shirt on the other hand... I mean you want to wrap yourself up in it and pull it down to your knees (which I can’t, because I’m too tall, but smaller people can wear it as a dress, which is adorable). They were produced in different countries, which might be a reason for the difference in quality. I don’t know, but SM please produce your Japanese tour shirts somewhere else in future!

After taking photos with the shining babes at the photo booths (SM ships 2min and Jongkey…just saying) I went back to the SM merchandise shop to buy some more SHINee merchandise and then did some sightseeing around Seoul before coming back at 7pm for the actual concert that started at 8pm.

I sat in the left block in the third row, which was amazing, and I wish I had been able to stenograph during this whole concert to capture all the details as soon as they happened like

[Jonghyun perked his eyebrow | Dead | He just growled | Deader | He smiled | Deadest]

But yeah, that didn’t happen. So please bear with me, I try to write it down as accurately as I can remember it, but like I already mentioned in my ‘fan accounts’ for the SHINee concerts I’m only human (an old one on top of that) and I can’t possibly remember everything (even if it breaks my heart). So please be aware that the following passages will be filled with a lot of cringe worthy love that I feel for this adorable human being. 

You have been warned! 

So, grab a snack, make yourself comfortable and enjoy the ride. I should just write this like a fan fiction…lmao (maybe not)

The opening VCR was him riding in a car and then walking along the beach. The presentation of the video was so nicely done, because they switched screens from left, to middle, to right as Jonghyun walked along the beach, so the audience basically followed him in his steps. He also looked astonishingly beautiful in that VCR, but let’s be real…when doesn’t he look astonishingly beautiful. The VCR was shot together with the video to ‘Lonely’, because the beach and the outfit he wore were the same as in the music video.

We stood up for the opening songs, which is always nice of course, but also made me very uncomfortable, because I was a head taller than anyone else in my block, and I constantly worried that people behind me might not be able to see the stage that well. Sorry people who sat behind me, I can’t do anything about my height T_T. Like I mentioned above I was sitting in row three, but I forgot my glasses at the hostel and therefore Jonghyun was still a little fuzzy around the edges, and I naturally tilted my head to look at the screen from time to time (force of habit…which I acquired during the Japanese concerts). 

Jonghyun wore a white T-shirt instead of the red one for the opening stage. Something like one, two, three Seoul Youth was written on it. But I’m not completely sure if that’s completely accurate, so don’t nail me down on it. 

Just like the red T-Shirt he sleeves of the white one had been generously cut off. However, I sat on the wrong side and only caught a glimpse of the tattoo on his ribs. Pity! But better than the T-shirt were those jeans! His jeans were torn in all the right places and whenever his legs moved one could see the muscles nicely contract in his thighs (is that too detailed, I wonder?) Anyway, I can attest that the boy got some booty and thighs now (@every-person-who-has-an-url-talking-about-jjongs-non-existent-butt-might-consider-an-url-change). I have to admit that I spent the majority of the first three songs with looking at his thighs and butt. I’m sorry, Jonghyun. Please forgive me my rudeness! I’m just not used to seeing you having an actual booty.

There were dancers accompanying Jonghyun for a lot of the songs again. Though, while I thought they are a nice touch during the X-Inspiration concert, they often felt like too much for this concert series, and to me it didn’t feel like they added much to the performances. But that’s just my opinion, and I’m sure others loved the dancers. As I mentioned in my “I’m screaming into the void, but I have to scream anyway post” right after the concert, Jonghyun came to the left side of the stage in the beginning of ‘White T-Shirt’ and pointed into my direction while saying ‘You’re so rock n roll’. He could have also pointed at all of us, but let me have this one little moment of fangirl love and let’s all assume he did point at me, because I stood out the most in a lot of ways, and yes, I’m more rock n roll than even Mr. Kim will probably ever be, so it would have been very fitting. (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ lmao

So, that being said I was totally overwhelmed by all the fan chants. I mean sometimes I love doing them, but at other times it feels suffocating and too much, like I’m part of some Army? I have the Japanese SHINee fan chants down perfectly. You can wake me up in the middle of the night, play me a random Japanese SHINee song and I will do every fan chant perfectly (including synchronized fan light movements). I’m also quite confident in doing the Korean ones, but most of the Jonghyun ones just exhausted me. I can’t even remember if we did all of them in December? December is still such a blur. It’s a pity that I didn’t write everything down back then, because my brain is weak and so was my heart. Anyway, it took me a few songs to get into the right fan chant groove.

When the VCR to Rewind played I was shocked to hear Jonghyun speak German. I was like O.O ??? What is this foreign but familiar sounding language doing here? Is he Lady Gaga? There was Spanish, and Japanese as well…I wonder how he came up with using German and Spanish from all existing languages. Did he open Google and ask ‘How to count in different languages’ and he thought those are the fancy sounding ones? Or did Jonghyun think ‘Roo’s ancestors were German, so let’s go with some Rammstein vibes’. Either way I’m still not over it. Kim Autobahn you can speak random German words to me all day. The video was just like the song title… very repetitive. Jonghyun did the same things again and again. But I believe by now most have seen the snippet of the VCR that was posted a while ago.

I have to admit that I was a little disappointed in ‘Suit Up’. It is one of my favorite songs on the album. The band was way too loud and overpowered the softness of Jonghyun’s voice while singing the beginning of this song. The audio technicians should have changed the volume of the microphone or something since it’s never a good thing if the band is louder than the singer. As of the performance of the song, Jonghyun was rolled inside on some arm chair by some pretty female dancers who tried to ‘seduce him?’ I’m not sure, but they also stripped him off his purple jacket and his tie later into the performance, so I guess we can call it the art of seducing Kim Jonghyun. But like I’ve mentioned earlier while I loved the dancers during the concert in December, I felt like they didn’t fit the mood for the letter series, but do you do Jonghyun or SM, whoever decided that it’s a good idea to include dancers. He wore a purple suit during this segment by the way. There was a fan account that stated that he looked slimmer, because the pants fitted looser around his thighs than they had done before. I agree with that account since the pants indeed were a little looser, but I’m not sure this had anything to do with weight loss. Is it possible to lose so much weight around one’s thighs in a mere week? I don’t know. I don’t know. It also doesn’t matter…he looks beautiful no matter the shape or size! So, let’s move on.

‘Staring into Space’ was absolutely adorable, but I didn’t expect anything else, just watching him put on the robe and the little bed cap made everyone in the audience squeal in delight and him smile shyly in return. He knows he looks adorable in that outfit, but he still always acts surprised when the audience is more excited about him dressing up in cutesy outfits than seeing him undress himself. Anyway, the props for this performance stood on the left side of the stage. Some boxes, some lights, something he could sit/lie on. I’m not sure what it was exactly, something like a bench covered in pillows and a blanket? At first he only sat on it while singing, and I was already like…boooohh everyone said how adorable you get during this performance, don’t disappoint me now! As if he had heard my thoughts he lay down with that little dog plushie (that wore some polka dotted hoodie) and pulled down the sleeping mask, and then playfully tugged the mask down on one side so only one eye peeked out. You can imagine the squeals coming from all sides. He continued with pulling the other side down as well so his nose and his mouth were basically covered by the sleeping mask. It looked adorable. He’s such an adorable human being and he’s very aware of that. After the performance ended he got up to take the robe off and he was quite amused by the disappointed reaction of the audience, because everyone wanted to see him continuing the concert in that outfit. It’s definitely a look! Next SHINee comeback should include sleeping masks and robes.

For ‘Blinking Game’ some fancy looking lights were lowered onto the stage behind Jonghyun, and the scenery gave off the atmosphere of some fancy jazz club, and one only waited for a contrabass to start playing.

We used the hand bells for ‘Gloomy Clock’, and Jonghyun had a lot of fun altering the rhythm randomly to confuse the audience. Sometimes he really does act like a little kid, having the most fun by bringing mischief to the stage. But it shows how much he enjoys performing, and seeing him have so much fun, makes one’s heart feel really warm and fuzzy.

I’m quite sad that the talk segments were basically me sitting around and having no idea what Jonghyun was talking about. That’s what I personally like about the Japanese concerts, because there I understand most of the things they say, which is quite nice. But yeah, it’s not their fault that I don’t speak Korean. Anyway, before the cockroach song he looked for a couple again (apparently there was none…or no one wanted to out themselves) so he picked out some girl who had been single for a very long time. I only understood a few words, and tried to figure out the content of their conversation by clutching onto every straw that was thrown, and after that one fan account I was surprised to realize that I wasn’t that off with my speculations. It was really fun listening to their conversation, because that girl was very fierce (I loved her since she was not shy to voice her opinion) and ranted so much that she apologized several times when Jonghyun got all ㅎㅅㅎ--- O_O--- :’D and wondered why she sounded like she was mad at him. It was adorable. She mentioned Minho at some point, but I’m not sure what she said. Did she refer to him as her ideal type? I don’t know. 

The cockroach song was awesome live, and the animation of the cockroaches were so adorable! Especially when one cockroach was sitting on Jonghyun’s head. He got all embarrassed when he saw himself on the screen with that cockroach head on his, and started laughing. Speaking of little, embarrassed Jonghyun. He also got very shy when all the fans excitedly waved their fan lights around when he sung the now infamous lyrics of ‘Where are you?” You know the drill. It was amusing. But what else did he expect the reaction of fans to be when he wrote those lyrics? Probably no one is going to look at him in disgust when he sings ‘Where is the person who is going to kiss me?’ Are there any fan accounts about what Minho did during this part when he attended the concert yesterday? I expect Choi to jump up from his seat and point at himself!

The second girl he talked to was one of the people who sent in letters. I have absolutely no idea what the conversation was about, but she was very shy and said annyeonghaseyo very, very awkwardly and shyly and also sounded slightly bored on top of it (an interesting mix), which Jonghyun apparently found quite amusing and mimicked the greeting in the same awkward manner and tone. We can conclude Jonghyun likes to play and tease the audience. In general I got the feeling that he really enjoys talking to the fans, listen to their stories, and give them advice. It felt like group therapy session with Doctor Kim. For the talk segments he walked around the stage and when reading the letters he sat in an arm chair in the middle of it. At some point he was wearing a huge white shirt with a wide collar and some pretty necklace. It was such a nice and dreamy outfit. Did I mention how beautiful his eye make-up was done? His eyes looked so pretty and shiny, and… *inserts all the hearts*.

The stages I feared the most were the ones starting off with ‘Let me out’. I really thought I would start crying him a river right then and there, but luckily that didn’t happen. The prop for this stage consisted of some cocoon looking 2m tall foldable wall that surrounded him, and he wore all black with a black corsage like binder around his waist. Let me tell you that corsage did things to his figure. I mean we all know he has a tiny waist, but that binder only emphasized that, which made his shoulders and arms look massive while it made his waist look even tinier. Especially when seen from the side with the light falling onto him he looked like some statute in a museum. I think this was my favorite outfit of the night, because he just looked very dark and mysterious, but also very soft and beautiful at the same time. This guy is just a contradiction, but what else is new.

Like some fan accounts already stated the performance to ‘Let me out’ is quite intense and Jonghyun puts his everything into it, but just like with ‘Suit up’ the band overpowered him during the quieter parts, which is a pity. I don’t know if this was a general problem and just no one mentioned it until now, because fans tend to throw all form of critic out of the window as soon as they are graced by his presence or if the concert I attended was an exception. Maybe they should have arranged those songs differently, because performing them live requires some special attention in my opinion so the haunting feeling of the music and lyrics get across to the audience.  After ‘Let me out’ Jonghyun pushed the cocoon open and continued with ‘Elevator’, one of my all-time favorite Jonghyun songs. It was very powerful and I sat in the audience with goosebumps.

The duets between Jonghyun and Shawols were beautiful. He should consider recording a song with a bunch of Shawols as duet partners in future. I especially liked the Shawol duet to ‘Love belt’, because it makes it easier to yell ‘I NEED YOU. I LOVE YOU…HOLD ME’ at Jonghyun without seeming like a crazy person. (/・・)ノ

The VCR before the encore seems to change every so often and while it was a rice brand Jonghyun advertised last week, he did some advertising for a drink this week. He tried to act as if he was seducing that bottle in his hand, and ran it along his face and so on. It looked hilarious. I laughed so hard. I live for funny VCRs. After the video ended everyone’s head suddenly turned to the entrance of the theater, and I was like ‘What is going on? Why is everyone turning their head around?’ I figured out why around ten seconds later when Jonghyun came down the aisle on the left side for ‘Deja Boo’ and everyone started screaming. Holy guacamole I wasn’t ready for seeing Jonghyun that close. I thanked all existing Gods on this planet that I sat in the left block so he passed me only a few feet away and came to a halt right in front of my block. HE’S SO TINY!!!! *USES ALL CAPSLOCK IN THE EXISTENCE OF CAPSLOCK* AND SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Wow, I was so dumbfounded that I just stared at him like the weak fangirl I am. How do people survive fan signs? I mean yes, he’s just a normal human being, no need to put him on any pedestals (that’s 100% correct) but holy daisy…if he isn’t one of the most beautiful human beings I was able to lay my eyes on. His skin was glowing! If it had been me standing right in front of him in that first row I probably would have gaped at him without feeling any shame. He has just a very engaging aura. I mean it is one thing to see him up close on stage, but when he’s literally on eyelevel with you…oh my oh my…how do people manage to act all normal around him? Are they dying on the inside from all the tiny firework explosions and fan feels? Tell me your secrets survivors of the US fan meets!

Random anecdote: 10 years ago I met my back then favorite guitar player during a meet and greet and expected to die right then and there. However, I didn’t die and I carried a table with him instead and told him how tiny he is, which resulted in the singer laughing and saying ‘Well, what a nice compliment!’ Me being as smooth as a spiky cactus. So thinking about this fan girl episode of mine I probably would say something stupid instead of dying inside. But I matured, I wouldn’t call Jonghyun tiny to his face. I learned from this embarrassing episode that still haunts me at night sometimes.

The concert ended with ‘Fortune Cookie’ and ‘Beautiful tonight’. As always Jonghyun directed the audience during ‘Beautiful tonight’ and I looked at every kazoo around me in envy. I wanted to become a kazoo kid. I will forever be bitter about this. But I might just buy one from ebay and start my kazoo career anyway. No need for Jonghyun’s concert logo on this genius music instrument. I loved how he cherished every single person in the band accompanying him, and jammed along to every instrument. He played air bass guitar, it was so adorable and cute and I just wanted to pinch his cheeks and pat his head.

The ending of a concert always makes me feel very empty and this time was no different. As soon as Jonghyun left the stage I felt a wave of ‘So this was it. The final goodbye’. It’s always the worst part of a concert, because you just don’t want it to be over yet. The concert was a little over 2 hours, I believe, and everyone stormed out of the concert hall to wave Jonghyun goodbye at SM Town’s side entrance. When I arrived at SM Town that day I tried to figure out where all those ‘Arrival’ and ‘Departure’ photos had been taken, but I didn’t have to look long for it, because the entrance is right next to the actual entrance of SM Town. So, I followed the crowd and waited behind a barrier. I think at least half of the audience waited for him there, and most of them had their phones and cameras ready, already filming the door. Some of the girls even had little stools they could stand on so they could see the entrance better. He exited the building shortly after, waved into the crowd like usual and then disappeared into the waiting car. Nothing too dramatic…

It was a beautiful concert; very cozy and somehow very intimate. I for one belong to the group of people who prefer small venues, and I never understand why some fans have it as a goal to attend a Tokyo Dome concert at least once in their lives. I mean you do you, but it sounds more fun than it actually is. I already disliked the size of Saitama Super Arena with a little over 30.000 seats and I don’t want to imagine how a hall filled with over 50.000 must feel like. Yes, the ocean might look beautiful with 50.000, but it already looks beautiful with 500, so I don’t know what the big deal is…especially if you happen to only get a ticket on the fourth/fifth floor. But to each their own I guess. One needs to have a goal in life after all, and if it’s attending a SHINee concert, then that’s a really good one! So, you go Shawols! ^^

I should end this here, but I want to add a last note on the global packages. Last year I got a global package for the first X-Inspiration concert, because a) I didn’t know better b) his first concert was on my birthday and therefore I wanted to go there whatever the cost. As most of you know the global packages are very pricy to begin with, but in the case of the X-Inspiration concerts they also offered a lot in return, and you could choose the price category of the hotel. So after calculating everything, I thought, well the price is not too bad, and I still don’t regret buying that package, because it was a wonderful experience that I treasure a lot. However, this time the prices for the global packages were even higher, you couldn’t choose the price category, and they offered nothing at all except for the goodies. All I thought was ‘SM, what are you doing???’ This being said, if you have the money, just go for it, but if you are on a budget you might want to look around a little. There are trustworthy Korean sites which people use to resell their tickets and if you are lucky enough you might find a ticket to a reasonable price. The one I found was only 40$ more than the original price and was a seat in the third row, so I’m not complaining.

So, in conclusion: Did I have fun at the concert? Yes, I did! Was it enjoyable? Yes, definitely. Would I do it again? Oh yeah, anytime. There is just something about Jonghyun or SHINee as a whole group that makes me incredibly happy, and I’m very thankful that they never fail to put a smile onto my face.  ♡

Thank you! (♡＾▽＾♡)

[mostloquacious-archive-blog]

REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

RULES. repost, don’t reblog. tag ten. TAGGED. @magicxecustos, sort of lmao. TAGGING. @neckerchiefsandmagic, @seismicsight, @granxaire, @killerblonde, @bifurcxted, anybody else reading this!!

BASICS.

 FULL  NAME. unknown.  NICKNAME. r, corpse lord, tree ass, whatever else you people call him.  AGE. unknown, somewhere in his late 20s or early 30s.  BIRTHDAY. unknown.  ETHNIC GROUP. caucasian.  NATIONALITY. most likely american.  LANGUAGE / S. english.  SEXUAL ORIENTATION. demisexual.  ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. panromantic.  RELATIONSHIP STATUS. in a relationship with julie carbernet--verse dependent.  CLASS. they don’t exist.   HOME TOWN / AREA. unknown.  CURRENT HOME. south cascadia, an area around the cascade mountain range that consists of seattle and surrounding towns.  PROFESSION. scavenger, father.

PHYSICAL.

 HAIR. dark brown, bordering on black. rather unruly and thick.  EYES. very blue and round, long eyelashes.  NOSE. thin with a slight point to it.   FACE. idk i suck at this lmao.  LIPS. not totally full but not super thin either. cupid’s bow shape.  COMPLEXION. very light skinned and heavily scarred, rough to the touch.  BLEMISHES. none that can be seen, if he has scars they blend in with everything else.  SCARS. they cover his entire body. some are from being shot and stabbed, others are not. it’s unknown if many of them were pre or post-mortem.   TATTOOS. none.  HEIGHT. 6′3″.  WEIGHT. 160 lbs give or take.  BUILD. slender, thin but athletic. he doesn’t have any noticeable muscle unless he’s moving.  FEATURES. sharp and angular. he’s long limbed all around ( legs, arms, and fingers ). high cheekbones and square jaw.  ALLERGIES. unknown.  USUAL HAIR STYLE. bedhead.  USUAL FACE LOOK. stoic and focused.  USUAL CLOTHING. typical apocalypse garb. flannel, leather, denim, etc. he tends to wear layers as he gets cold easily and skinny jeans ( they’re the only thing that fit him ).

PSYCHOLOGY.

 FEAR / S. dying, abandonment.   ASPIRATION / S. to live and spread the cure.  POSITIVE TRAITS. clever, creative, witty, adaptable, easy going, friendly, realistic.  NEGATIVE TRAITS. deadpan, fickle, self-negligent, aloof, stubborn, timid, impulsive.  MBTI. infp. the mediator.  ZODIAC. pisces.  TEMPEREMENT. melancholic/phlegmatic.  SOUL TYPE / S. caregiver & creator ( 14 ).  ANIMALS. panther.  VICE HABIT / S. smoking, social drinking.  FAITH. agnostic.  GHOSTS? absolutely.  AFTERLIFE? yup.  REINCARNATION? he wouldn’t discount it.  ALIENS? why not??  POLITICAL ALIGNMENT. politics don’t really exist anymore.  ECONOMIC PREFERENCE. ^^^  SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION. ^^^  EDUCATION LEVEL. unknown, he’s learning different trades currently.

FAMILY.

 FATHER. unknown.  MOTHER. unknown.  SIBLINGS. unknown.  EXTENDED  FAMILY. unknown  NAME MEANING / S. it is a letter lmao.  HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? based off of shakespeare’s romeo montague.

FAVOURITES.

 BOOK. the book thief.  MOVIE. doesn’t really have one, though he enjoys anchors away.  5 SONGS. you’re sensational-frank sinatra. imagine-john lennon. across the universe-the beatles. sweet child of mine-guns and roses. burn the witch-radiohead.  DEITY. apollo.  HOLIDAY. doesn’t celebrate them.  MONTH. april.  SEASON. spring.  PLACE. his jet.   WEATHER. blue skies, when it’s just chilly enough for a comfy sweater.  SOUND. a needle dropping on a record. a heartbeat.  SCENT / S. vanilla, lavender, the grass after rain.  TASTE / S. wasabi and soy sauce, bitter coffee.  FEEL / S. the chisels in vinyl, a soft sweater.  ANIMAL / S. cats.  NUMBER. doesn’t care.  COLOUR. red.

EXTRA.

 TALENTS. music, running, swimming--he’s still learning many things.  BAD  AT. being patient, speaking his mind.  TURN  ONS. still learning.  TURN  OFFS. ignorance, rudeness, overall obnoxiousness.  HOBBIES. music, exploring the city--again, he’s still learning.  TROPES. dead man walking, bruiser with a soft center, leader archetype, audiophile.  AESTHETIC  TAGS. washington state, the apocalypse, skin and bones, zombie horror, cars, airplanes, cigarettes and coffee, vinyl.  GPOY  QUOTES. this.

FC INFO.

 MAIN  FC / S. ian somerhalder.  ALT  FC / S. nicholas hoult and tatiana maslany.  OLDER  FC / S.  n/a.  YOUNGER  FC / S.  asa butterfield.  VOICE  CLAIM / S. nicholas hoult.

MUN QUESTIONS.

 Q1.   if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?    A1.  i mean. lmao. if I were in charge of directing warm bodies though, it would have been much more similar to the book, as would r’s characterization. he’s already pretty deadpan in the movie, which is great. also his goddamn kids and wife would be in it jfc.

 Q2.   what would their soundtrack / score sound like?  A2. i actually really love the OST to warm bodies!! i would leave it as it is as far as r goes.

 Q3.   why did you start writing this character?  A3. tbh. it was mostly cuz i was having problems on another blog. i had just watched warm bodies but i hadn’t read the book in a long long time ( r was very much film based when i first started writing him ). so i just went for it!! and here i am over 3 years later still with the moron hnnngh.

 Q4.   what first attracted you to this character?  A4. well, i read the book for the first time when i was 15. i liked his dark sense of humor and sarcastic behavior ( still do ). when i initially made r’s blog, he was totally film based. i just liked how silly the movie was and i thought he was a funny character. nowadays, he’s a lot more akin to his book counterpart and i appreciate him for the complexity and eccentricity of his character. but yeah, that’s what initially drew me to r.

 Q5.   describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.  A5. he’s creepy, honestly. i love him, but he’s definitely an odd ball. kidnapping girls and lying to them and locking them up in your jet?? yeah it looked cute and funny in the movie and it’s kind of cute in the book cuz he did it to save her life but then he lies to her about escaping so...yeah. he’s on the obsessive side. i won’t deny it.

 Q6.   what do you have in common with your muse?  A6. i am also dead. and i enjoy music a lot.

 Q7.   how does your muse feel about you?  A7.  we get along. i like to think he likes me lmao. though you could argue he only tolerates me to an extent.

 Q8.   what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?  A8. i’ll say it again: i love all the interactions i have with r. they’re so much fun!! he’s such a complex character and his relationships with other people is great.

 Q9.   what gives you inspiration to write your muse?  A9. god DAMN music mostly. reading the book again. etc.

 Q10. how long did this take you to complete?  A10. too long i forgot about it lol.

[darklarru]

all of them. just fckin.. all of them. every single question. 1-100. good luck comrade.

fuck u, here it is:

1.      Is a kiss considered cheating?

-if theykiss a boy idm.

2.      Have you ever faked orgasm?

-yeahlmao

3.      If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

-shapeshifting

4.      Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

-I fuckinhope so

5.      Tell us some funny drunk story.

-oh man,ive only been smashed once, and it was a night full of regrets and a lot ofcheating and gay stuff happened.

6.      Why are you no longer together with your ex?

-u knowwhat. fuck my ex, he was a manipulative cheating cunt and he broke up with meover snapchat.

7.      If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? 

-bathtuband sleeping pills, im out painlessly.

8.      What are your current goals?

-be asuccessful bitch and build myself up.

9.      Do you like someone?

-wheneverI think of feelings I take a shot so idk..

10.   Who was the last person to disappoint you?

-my ex.

11.   Do you like your body?

-eh imgetting there

12.   Can you keep a diet?

-no lmao

13.   If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

-don’t discriminateagainst sex workers and treat them like actual people.

14.   Do you work?

-yep, gota retail job and everything.

15.   If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, whatwould it be?

-ayesalad, bc anything you cut up and put in a bowl is salad, so pizza salad, fruitsalad, ice cream salad, anything.

16.   Would you get a tattoo?

-hellyeah, im actually thinking about getting this floral one on my thigh, gottalike, tell my mum tho.

17.   Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

-theperson I love,,

18.   Can you drive?

Ive onlyhad like, one driving test ever.

19.   When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

-at therink on Friday? Someone said I was beautiful and that my ex didn’t deserve me:)

20.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-when I drinkI don’t cry, so ive been drinking a lot.

21.   Do you keep a journal?

-yep,serves as my receipts.

22.   Is life fun?

-ehhhhitll get there.

23.   Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

-I don’t reallycare, just warn me so I have time to get out of there.

24.   What’s your dream car?

-somethingI don’t have to use petrol for.

25.   Are grades in school important?

-justnail ur finals and ur good.

26.   Describe your crush.

-its tooearly homie

27.   What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

-WONDERWOMAN HOLY SHIT A+

28.   What was your last lie?

-im fine

29.   Dumbest lie you ever told? 

-idk, I normallytell the truth, its such an effort to lie.

30.   Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

-no I doit all the time lmao

31.   Something you did and you are proud of?

-Teamedup with my Best Friend and Absolutely Called the shit out of my Ex out andfuckin roasted him.

32.   What’s your favourite cocktail?

-I haven’tdelved into cocktails too much yet, ive been drinking straight.

33.   Something you are good at?

-iceskating?? idk

34.   Do you like small kids?

-I hatekids so much

35.   How are you feeling right now?

-There

36.   What would you name your daughter/son?

-daughter:Lavender? Idk I just watched matilda and I was like what a pretty name, andboys: Christian?  

37.   What do you need to be happy?

-abillion dollars

38.   Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

-my ex

39.   What was the last gift you received?

-does mycoworker buying everyone hot chocolates and frozen cokes during their shiftcount as a gift

40.   What was the last gift you gave?

-a fidgetcube?

41.   What was the last concert you went to?

-panic atthe disco in January :D

42.   Favourite place to shop at?

-ittotally was this gothic shop in Newtown, but then it moved and I don’t knowwhere it is anymore :/

43.   Who inspires you?

-myselfbitch

44.   How old were you when you first got drunk?

-18

45.   How old were you when you first got high?

-never

46.   When was your first kiss?

-when I was15? 16?

47.   Something you want to do until the end of this year?

-be amermaid, like fr, go follow mermaid_shelly on Instagram no joke.

48.   Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

-dated myex

49.   Post a selfie.

-heres alink instead: http://darklarru.tumblr.com/post/161374174865/cat-cafe-aesthetic

50.   Who are you most comfortable around?

-my BestFriend

51.   Name one thing that terrifies you.

-to loseeverything I worked for

52.   What kind of books do you read?

-haventread a book in so long, but I like the fantasy genre

53.   What would you tell your 12 year old self?

-girl,girl, u gay as fuck

54.   What is your favourite flower?

-roses!!

55.   Any bad habits you have?

-speakingquietly

56.   What kind of people are you attracted to?

-peoplewho think the same as me

57.   What was the last thing you cried for?

-my ex :/

58.   Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

-pickles,what r they doin, get outta here

59.   Are you in love?

-yeah imalways in love

60.   Something you find romantic?

-tealightcandles

61.   How long was your longest relationship? 

-like 3or 4 months

62.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

-wereso,, bitchy.

63.   What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 

-they don’tknow what the fuck is up, they don’t listen, they always horny, theyre kindaviolent, theyre more hardcore and aggressive physically.

64.   What are you saving money for?

-anothermermaid tail,,, but also a house I guess

65.   How would you describe your bad side?

-emotional,angry, violent, temperamental, not thinking,, idk

66.   Are you actually a good person? Why?

-sometimesI guess, I try not to be shitty, but some people fuckin deserve it.

67.   What are you living for?

-a future

68.   Have you ever done anything illegal?

-probably

69.   Do you like your body?

-yeahsometimes

70.   Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

-notunless we were fighting

71.   Ever sent nudes?

-whohasnt

72.   Have you ever cheated on someone?

-I cheatedon a guy with girl and I was very drunk, but then we said same sex cheating wasokay

73.   Favourite candy?

-redfrogs, gummy bears

74.   Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

-imbarely on this hell site

75.   Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

-adarkroomwas one of my Faves

76.   Favourite TV series?

-w.i.t.c.h.what a Classic

77.   Are you religious? Does God exist?

-yeah, imchill w god.

78.   What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

-I haven’tread a book in so long yall.

79.   What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

-kudos tothem who r doin it but I really love chicken.

80.   How long have you been on Tumblr?

-sinceyear 9, so like, 2013

81.   Do you like Chineese food?

-I am Chinese

82.   McDonalds or Subway?

-subwayyyy

83.   Vodka or whiskey?

-fuuuuuuck,,,fucking love vodka but it makes my face screw up in a bad expression, and I lovefireball whiskey, but like, vodka gets me fucked up faster.

84.   Alcohol or drugs?

-alcohol,don’t do drugs kids

85.   Ever been out of your province/state/country?

-ya

86.   Meaning behind your blog name?

-I lovetypos

87.   What gets you up in the morning?

-spite.

88.   What are you scared of?

-a lot ofthings

89.   Last time you were insulted?

-wednesday

90.   Most traumatic experience ?

-my bf atthe time, was fuckin, chewin his toenails in his mouth, and I forgot bc he wasbein sweet n he stuck his tongue out to touch mine, n I stuck mine out too n I fuckni,,.,,,. touched the toenail w my mouth I nearly threw up, I felt my soul ejectfrom my body for a second.

91.   Perfect date idea?

-picnicdaate, and watching the stars and cuddling

92.   Favourite app on your phone?

-instagram?I check it the most.

93.   What colour are the walls in your room?

-white

94.   Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

-daviddobrik tbh

95.   Share your favourite quote.

-ifsomeone tells you that they hurt you, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.

96.   What is the meaning of life?

-when thestreets are empty and the moon is shining and nobody is awake and its chilly,but your alone and maybe the wind is blowing through the grass, or whatever.

97.   Do you like horror movies?

-fuck nah

98.   Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

-I signedup for Netflix and didn’t tell her.

99.   Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

-I amspecial

100. Can you keep a secret?

-ya justmake sure u tell me its important.

[ryryanfunko-blog]

“I GOTS DA GIFT!”: Marty McFly & DeLorean Funko Pop!

Obtained: Christmas 2014 Photos Posted On: Dec. 1, 2015

So this is the only Pop that I’ve got that came with another object, and I really liked it. I’d seen it on Hot Topic’s website and quickly noticed it cost somewhere like $23? or $25? Something like that. And again, at this time, I still wasn’t crazy about Funko Pops. But, I am a big Back to the Future fan. It’s definitely one of my favorite movies of all time. And I know, I know, there’s three of them. But I’ll group ‘em in all together as “a movie,” just for the sake of ranking favorite movies. Because frankly, my top favorite movies seem to be a line of movies with sequels. And I can’t really choose one over the other, because they all really stand well together (except, admittedly, I think Back to the Future III was meh). So, Inception’s my favorite movie of all time at this point, but some movies following that in no particular order are the Back to the Future movies, The Matrix movies, the Ocean’s trilogy, and more. 

Tangent again, but whatevs. So, I saw it on Hot Topic’s site, and I wasn’t that crazy for Funko Pops yet. So seeing a price tag of $23-25 for a toy? Didn’t make sense to me. So I passed. But anytime I’d be on a computer, I’d often find myself going back to HotTopic.com just to look at it, LMAO. And by now, I’ve come to realize, if I find myself re-checking some sort of product, it’s a sure sign I do want it, and if I can, I should probs get it. But I didn’t think like that at the time, so I’d online-window-shop it and then get back to my regular routine. But Christmas was nearing, and from my last funko blog post, you’d know I just bought a Frieza Pop to gift to my brother. Well, so, for Christmas, or any gift-giving occasion, my brother’s straight to the point and doesn’t like to play guessing games, and this is one of the things I like about him: he asks you straight up what you want. LMAO. I love it because for Christmas, my brother and sister are both like Santa Claus in a way. My sister really plays into it though. She literally comes over with SACKS of gifts. Multiple gifts. Not cheap little stocking stuffers. She buys multiple nice gifts and puts them in a sack, for each person. Thing is though, if I’m being honest, she often does get things she thinks may be cool or useful, but actually might not be. Again, it’s the thought that counts… But in that way, she’s like Santa Claus. My brother though, although he doesn’t gift with multiple items or huge sacks, he’ll accept lists from me, LOL. I’ll give him a list of things I want and he might get me one or two of them. But at least it’s a guarantee of what I actually want! So that’s always been cool. Oh, and when I said he doesn’t sack his gifts, I forgot to clarify that he doesn’t do anything to wrap or conceal them either. He just gives it to you straight in the store bag he bought it from, LOL. But whatevs, I gots da gift! Oh, and another thing; my sister, although it’s nice she sacks up a bunch of gifts, for a few years I’d send my Christmas list to my closest family members, to sort of make it easy for them like my brother; you know, take the guess work out of it. I’d try to be as polite as possible though, because it does feel strange to ASK for gifts, but I mean, if we’re being real, if we know the gifts are coming, wouldn’t we not want our money to go to waste and get something the other person may not even like? I’m all for playing it safe and being sure they’ll want and like the gift. But my sister made it clear she doesn’t like that I send out a list, and that it’s not my Birthday (ie: I shouldn’t get to choose). I get it. So she blatantly ignores my lists and gets me what she thinks I’ll like. And well, let’s just say that my closet can only fit so much… 

;-)

Another tangent. Weeeee! LOL. My bad. It ties in though. Read on, reader.

So anyway, Christmas was nearing and my brother asked for a list from me. I forget exactly what was on that list now… I vaguely recall some weight-lifting related item… maybe that was at the top of my list. I think it was some weight lifting gloves. Not sure though. There were some other stuff too, but I know the Marty McFly Funko Pop was included. And well, voila! My brother gifted me the Marty McFly Funko Pop!! From…??

(This is where you guess)

(Keep guessing)

(This isn’t where I do one of those annoying things people do in conversations and go, “Guess what? *they answer it without actually allowing you a chance to guess*)

(I’m actually gonna allow you a chance to guess)

(Okay, time’s up, over… blaow! snap back to… the future… – see what I did there? ;-)

(Major brownie points to whoever got those references)

(Yes, there were two references in that one line)

(BTW, screw brownie points. Like sorry brownies, imma let you finish, but Krispy Kreme donuts are the best sweets in the world)

(Cinnabons are close behind though, without a doubt)

HOT TOPIC! DOT COM! Yep, he ordered it from their site (I told him where he could get each gift, should he get them). But I knew he got it from HotTopic.com because, as usual, he did nothing to conceal it. He gave it to me inside the shipping box with invoice slip and all, LMAO. Oh!!! It’s coming back to me. He got me this pop, but also did get me weight lifting gloves! Sports Chalet!! But, he got the wrong size, and they didn’t have my size in stock, so he ended up just returning them, but that was totally fine. So yep, Christmas of 2014, we ended up exchanging Funko Pops, basically. LOL. I got him a Frieza and he got me a Marty McFly with his DeLorean. I ended up placing this awesome little dude and his whip on my TV counter with the other pops I had, right on top of the cable box. Soon, I’d move it over to the corner of my desk. It’s currently on the top of my Funko shelf case that I’ll most likely post online at some point. I’ve posted pics of it online at various moments, but the line-up always changes. :-)

So yeah, I was super stoked to get this Pop. Although I wasn’t crazy over Funko Pops quite yet, I’d been kinda side-eyeing them. In a curious way. One of the things that helped was that my co-worker Kasey displayed some out-of-box Funko Pops on his desk, one of which was his Deadpool Pop. Just seeing it at his desk every day kinda had me intrigued to their cute little designs. And so, any time I’d walk past a Hot Topic, I’d just look at the Pops, but not necessarily feel a desire to buy one. But every time I’d see the Marty McFly Pop on Hot Topic’s site, I always thought about how cool of an out-of-box Funko Pop it would be to have, since it was with the freaking DeLorean!! 

I just love the Back to the Future movies. The 2nd one is my favorite because of its futuristic elements. I loved the futuristic ideas they had; the self-lacing shoes, the hoverboard, the self-drying jacket, their fashion. I dunno, I dug it. It’s also pretty cool how some of those things are being attempted to be produced today. I’m kinda iffy on it because of how its being done. I mean first off, the self-tying shoes, Nike came out with some a few years ago. Except I heard they weren’t even self-lacing, they were just replicas. Meaning, they were just designed/modeled after the movie’s shoes. But it was still cool; they looked fresh. But, they were super limited and were only being sold on eBay, I think. But they sold for super insane amounts of money. So that wasn’t realistic to get. Then they made another attempt at it like last year in 2016, but I didn’t follow through with the news on it. Also like super limited/unattainable/crazy-expensive, so I didn’t care for it again. But then they were making another actual self-lacing shoe that was more affordable, but this thing looked ugly. Looked like a Skecher shoe with a nike swoosh on it. No offense to Skecher wearers. :-) And secondly, like seriously, hoverboards. We’ve got “hoverboards” today. I’m not sure why we call it that when they’re just segways without handlebars, which may or may not explode. *shrugs*

But anyway, yeah, I love the Back to the Future films, 3rd was meh, and 2nd was my fav. I forgot how I ever got introduced to the films. I think my dad introduced me to the movies… maybe he rented them on VHS? or perhaps we caught them on TV? I’m leaning towards VHS though. But anyway, I loved them so much that in my late high school years, or maybe even early college years, I’m not quite sure… but around that time, when I had some money of my own, I bought the trilogy on DVD. This is big for me, because I don’t like buying movies on DVD. I don’t like rewatching movies. It’s too much time to dedicate to watch something I’ve already seen and already know what’s gonna happen. And to pay to re-do something? Not my ideal spend of money. But, when it's a film I really enjoy? I’ll shell out some cash for it :-) So I got myself the trilogy and rewatched it in all of its glory. I remember back in the day too that my best friend at the time, Jason, would catch one of the movies on TV. We’d be on the phone together, and I’d put on my DVD and ask him where he’s at in the film, and I’d fast forward to that part and it’d be like we were watching together. Fun times. But now, I can’t actually find my trilogy of DVDs :’( (nor can I find Jason, LMAO, but that’s a whole other topic). If only this Funko Pop DeLorean could bring me back in time………. LOL, I was gonna make some cheesy joke about going back in time to find that DVD trilogy… But how much of a waste would that be? Imagine? Using some time travel machine just to find an old DVD set I had, when things like Biff as President and stupidvisors exist? Yeah, real smart use of time travel, Ry. :p

So as for the Funko photos themselves… The first photo with the newspaper was a photo I was stoked to take a pic of. Just archiving the fact I have these two things, is enough to encapsulate my fandom for the movie. I love the fact that USA Today came out with their own Back to the Future themed paper on the date that Marty travelled to the future. For one thing, that was massively creative, and perhaps took a lot of patience on USA Today’s part. Like, I wonder when they thought up to do this, and how long the company’s been waiting to publish it, LOL. And also, it finally put an end (?) to all those ridiculous memes that would pretend “oh, this is the day and year that Marty travelled into the future!” Like nope, nice try, clickbait. No really, nice try. A bunch of “fans” fell for it. But it was easy to tell when they were fake memes. The original Back to the Future setting takes place in 1985. That’s the starting point. Marty basically travels 30 years in either direction. Don’t @ me about the 3rd movie when he goes into the ol’ west, because I don’t care about that, and I’m like 95% certain 1985 is still a good reference point, because he probably ended up going back to 1885. So back to the meme. If he is only going 30 years in either direction, that means 2015 was the year of his travel into the future. BOOM. Case Closed. (Love that anime.) So the newspaper though, I wasn’t able to snag it the morning it came out for like a number of cents… or whatever newspapers cost these days. I had to order it online from USA Today’s website for like $4 D,: LOL. 

The second photo was just a standard pic to take in Marty and his whip, LOL. I love Funko’s mold of the DeLorean. It’s done perfectly, IMO. Just the right percentage of a used and dated look to it, but not overly raggy, which captures the essence the ride always had in the movies :’). Also, I love the irony of the car itself. It looks like a cheap hunk of metal. Like not high-class or sophisticated looking. But its function is quite the opposite and performs an action of only the highest of class and sophistication! The third pic, well, I was hoping to just snap a shot of Marty and the DeLorean in front of the DVD box I had… But alas, it was lost somewhere… in the past… so instead I grabbed some Calvin Klein tag laying around and just snuck it in as an Easter egg treat for any of those who really dig Back to the Future :-) And if you don’t know the reference, you’re not finding it here. Go watch the movie(s)!

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