#i thought this might be a step up from just posting screenshots of my word doc which i think it is but if its still not cutting it

[vigilskeep]

just letting u know small text isnt quite accessible to people with vision issues

ah ok i will figure out a better system in future!

[6okuto]

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENTS

gn!reader | timeskip kenma, hinata, sakusa, suna

KENMA’s chat has never moved faster than now as you sit together and watch edits that fans have made of him, and the two of you. you jokingly coo and hug him when you find an edit about “how he looks at you.” “ken! oh my god, you’re so—” “shut up, scroll away already.” “no, i’m sending this to myself, stop—give me the phone!” kenma turns away, forcing you to wrap yourself around him in a desperate attempt to grab the phone while it’s still on the video. the both of you are laughing when you yell, “chat, chat, somebody send that edit to me!” “chat, don’t listen to them. we aren’t even dating. this relationship was fake the whole time.” “shut the fuck up, kenma.” you say in mock annoyance—a grin still on your face—and hit his arm. he snickers as you stop to rest your head on his shoulder and frown. "please?" a beat passes before he huffs. “fine. i’ll send it to you after.” it was an inevitable outcome, but you still cheer and turn back to the stream to see everyone’s reaction, not catching the loving gaze he has on his face watching you again.

HINATA, despite his usual energy, finds his eyes drooping as he watches the live chat scroll past him. it was late, and he decided to talk to fans before going to bed—about upcoming games, a new restaurant he visited that he thinks might become a favourite, how he’s been looking for new shoes. it’s been maybe an hour when his responses are filled with more hums than sentences, and he decides to rest his head. by the time you find him, he’s been asleep for 10 minutes. “hi guys, i’m gonna end the live and get this guy to bed now,” you whisper with an amused smile. shoyo shuffles at the sound of your voice, and his comes out muffled against the pillow. “babe?” “sorry, sho, did i wake you?” “mm, ‘s okay. are you coming t’bed soon?” “yeah, just ending your live.” “...oh. goodnight everybody,” he murmurs and raises his fingers in what’s supposed to be a wave. his fans watch as he reaches for you, eyes still closed, and make sure to take screenshots of the sleepy, lovesick smile on his face after you kiss his forehead before the live ends.

SAKUSA’s always been teased about how little he posts on his social media outside of things related to his career. it’s not a shock that your relationship isn’t something he posts casually. after an interviewer jokes about how fans might think he’s single, or that you’ve broken up by this point, kiyoomi decides to make a photo dump encompassing the last few months with you. it has a photo of you tucked in bed and sleeping the first night at the new apartment, a video of you singing where he can be heard softly laughing in the background, a photo of you smiling at the birthday gifts and dinner you enjoyed together, a blurry selfie with the two of you kissing, and one where kiyoomi, known for his stoic face and attitude, is a little tipsy and smiling as you wrap your arms around his neck from behind. fans pour out words of support and excitement below his caption of “i love you. happy anniversary, and thank you for letting me be yours.”

SUNA and you are chatting with some fans when one asks if you’ve been watching anything lately. you both say the name of the drama you’re watching together without hesitation, the most recent episode still on your mind. “the way he like, turned her to face him and they were so close before finally kissing—” you cut yourself off with a grin, flustered at the thought as everyone excitedly agrees. “has suna ever done something like that?” someone asks. rintarou turns to you the same time you look at him, cocking his head to the side with a teasing smile. “yeah, have i ever done anything like that?” “no,” you lie, staring right at him. his fans team up, “ooooh”’s thrown his way. you’re not sure what anyone was expecting, but it wasn’t for him to take it as a challenge and step closer. the crowd is suddenly quiet as he leans in, eyes flickering from looking into yours down to your lips. “are you sure?” he murmurs. your breath hitches as he moves in even closer, lips barely an inch from yours. before you realize it, your eyes are fluttering closed as his hand comes to cup your face and lips meet yours. it’s barely a few days later until a video of you kissing goes viral, and rintarou is saving it to his gallery.

@devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @semifilms @sakusasdirtyragdoll @dai-tsukki-desu @Thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa @semispilledcoffee @ksyhmm @idontlikeyourjob @sparrowb3nscloset @awkwardaardvarkforever @rory-cakes @prblmtic @kuroaka @sunaslay @the-midnightskies @h0n3ysgh0st @lackey-laufeyson @bontensbabygirl @dira333 @Kamukayakmonyet @danyisapingu @isentsworld @lilithlunas @anime-ships-gay @todorokiskitten @kellesvt @scill-a @curiouslilbeast @fiona782 @cvhenia @mitskiologist

[galedekarios]

you seem to be reputable source to ask this and i haven't found a walkthrough anywhere else, do you know how to trigger the boat scene where gale has already decided not to go after the crown? like where he says you'll always be enough for him.

i've tried so many combinations and can't figure it out! sorry if you've already posted this

thank you for your message!

you have to sway gale away from the crown as best you can over the course of act 2 and 3, and then follow a certain chain of events to set the correct flags to trigger the alternate boat scene.

i've reliably managed to trigger it in act 3 with the following steps:

1: get the annals of karsus from sorcerous sundries

2: don't give gale the annals of karsus right away when he asks for the book

3: go to camp, but not as a long rest -> pick the go to camp option instead

4: speak to elminster and initiate his conversation (he should have a ! over his head and you can initiate the next step in progressing gale's act 3 quest, however: this is sometimes bugged if you haven't unlocked the elfsong tavern yet as a camp space, i.e. elminster will turn up, have a ! over his head, but his dialogue doesn't trigger, essentially soft-locking the quest)

5: go to the stormshore tabernacle to progress the quest

6: pick the option that encourages gale to seek mystra's forgiveness -> Player: Seek her forgiveness, Gale. It might be your only hope of curing the orb.

7: do a long rest

8: the alternate boat scene should trigger with gale at this point (he should be at camp with a ! to show he's ready to speak to the player)

i'll also share a screenshot of the conversation from the files (CAMP_Gale_CRD_ROM_BeMyGod) and highlight which flags are important:

alternate boat scene dialogue

Gale: Ah. You're still talking to me then?ORI_Gale_Knows_KarsiteWeave, LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_GaleSeeksForgiveness Gale: I wouldn't blame you for giving me a wide berth. I thought the orb's ever-present censure had tamed my wilder ambition, but that wasn't the case. Gale: I needed Mystra's intervention. She offered me a path to redemption at last, and it might yet leave my mind and body intact. Gale: Please - continue to believe in me. I want to show you the wizard I am capable of being, rather than the poor excuse for a man who's kept you company thus far. - Player (Option 1): I believe in you Gale. Always have, always will. ['Gale 10'] Gale: That's all I ever need to hear. - Player (Option 2): You're willing to give up the chance of unlimited power. I'd say your ambition is under control. Gale: If that's true, it's thanks to you, and the trust you show in me at every turn of this strange adventure of ours. - Player (Option 3): I hope so, because honestly you have been a poor man recently. Especially on the romance front... Gale: I'm sorry. It's not easy living for more than just yourself, when for so long just staying alive was accomplishment enough. - Player (Option 4): You're more to me than magic, Gale. ['Gale 10'] Gale: You stole the words from my mouth. - Gale: I know what I must do. The Crown belongs under Mystra's stewardship, not mine, and I will ensure she gets it. Gale: That means there'll be no permanent place in the heavens for us. But we could still visit. - Player (Option 1): Close your eyes. Gale: Astra navigabimus. - Gale: Few mortals ever glimpse what you're about to see. But don't be alarmed - I'm here with you. Now... open your eyes. Gale: Quite the view, isn't it? The Outer Planes are a place of profound, sometimes overwhelming possibility. Gale: I conjured this illusion often during my confinement in Waterdeep. An escape for the mind, where there was none for the body. Gale: It was easier to stare at the celestial abyss than recognise the emptiness within myself. Easier to pretend my destiny lay among such stars, than work to salvage a life on solid ground. You changed all that. Gale: You see me as I am, and do not find me wanting. With these stars as my witness, I swear - you will always be enough for me. ORI_Gale_State_RejectedBeMyGodProposal ['Gale 10']

as you can see, both the ORI_Gale_Knows_KarsiteWeave (mystra reveals this knowledge to gale at the stormshore tabernacle) and the LOW_StormshoreTabernacle_State_GaleSeeksForgiveness (set by picking the seek her forgiveness option during the stormshore tabernacle scene with the protag, gale and mystra) flags are integral here.

if you want to watch the alternate boat scene, i posted a video of it here.

i hope this was helpful to you! 🖤

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[pablotorresgf]

our world- hector fort

notices: emotional infidelity, reader is from Argentina.

Héctor Fort, the rising star of FC Barcelona, had captured the hearts of millions, but none more than yours. You met at a charity event in Buenos Aires, and your whirlwind romance quickly became the stuff of fairy tales. You were the perfect couple—beautiful, successful, and madly in love. As an avid supporter of both football and Héctor, you followed his career closely, often finding yourself lost in the excitement of his matches and the glamorous lifestyle that came with being his girlfriend. The public adored you both, and your relationship was constantly under the scrutiny of social media and tabloids. Despite the pressure, you believed in your love.

But the cracks began to show in the most unexpected ways. It started with Héctor's distant behavior—missed calls, unanswered texts, and a growing coldness in his eyes. You chalked it up to the stress of his demanding career, convincing yourself that it was just a rough patch. After all, who could blame him? He was carrying the weight of being part of the first team on his shoulders. One evening, while scrolling through your social media feed, you stumbled upon a series of posts that made your heart sink. A thread on a popular football forum was buzzing with rumors about Héctor and another woman. The posts were filled with screenshots of private messages between Héctor and this mysterious figure—a stunning model from Barcelona. The messages were intimate, filled with emotional confessions and late-night conversations that revealed a side of Héctor you thought only you knew.

Your hands trembled as you read through the messages, each one a dagger to your heart. Héctor spoke of his fears, his dreams, and his deepest insecurities with this woman, things he had once shared with you. It felt like a betrayal far worse than any physical infidelity. He had opened his heart to someone else, leaving you out in the cold. Determined to confront him, you waited for Héctor to return from training. As he walked through the door, you could see the exhaustion etched on his face. But your pain overpowered any sympathy you might have felt.

"Héctor," you began, your voice quivering with a mix of anger and sorrow, "I need to ask you something." He looked at you, his eyes widening in surprise. "What is it, mi amor?" You couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "Who is she, Héctor? Who is the woman you've been pouring your heart out to behind my back? “His face paled, and he took a step back, as if your words had physically struck him. "I... I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me!" you shouted, holding up your phone. "I've seen the messages. I know everything." Héctor's shoulders sagged, and he ran a hand through his hair, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. "It's not what you think," he pleaded. "I never meant to hurt you. It was just... I needed someone to talk to. Someone who wasn't in this world."

"Someone who wasn't me," you finished for him, your voice breaking. "You betrayed me, Héctor. You shared your soul with someone else while I stood by your side, believing in us." He reached out to touch you, but you stepped back, the distance between you growing larger with each passing second. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice filled with regret. "I never wanted this to happen."

"But it did," you replied, your heart shattering. "And I don't know if I can ever forgive you." As you turned to leave, Héctor's voice echoed in the empty room, a haunting reminder of the love you had lost. "Please, don't go. We can fix this. I love you."

You paused, your back to him, tears streaming down your face. "Sometimes, love isn't enough," you said softly, before walking out the door, leaving Héctor alone with his guilt and the wreckage of your once-perfect relationship.

[wonwoosthetic]

series masterlist

word count - 2.1k

pairing - minnie x mingyu (feat. wonwoo at the end)

summary - mingyu thought to have found the perfect chairs for their new apartment… much to minnie’s dismay

a/n - as I went through my mimiwon google poll, a lot of you guys asked for more domestic scenarios and since I also once asked if you'd be okay with short writings, I thought I could post this as well :) just a little something I came up with back when I saw one of their chairs in Mingyu's live haha, kinda random but I hope you like it! <3

Chairs 🌷 Minnie

"Nini!" The familiar loud voice bounced off the walls of their apartment. The female member was sunken into the couch, her laptop propped up on her lap. She had thrown on a slightly thicker sweatshirt due to the colder weather, with a short shirt underneath, knowing she'd probably take off the first layer later in the day.

Each one of the three had been busying themselves separately for the time until their manager would pick them up and bring them to the company's building for their scheduled practice.

"What?" She shouted back at her fellow '97 Liner, who had been in his room, but his quick footsteps suddenly echoed through the hall until they stopped in the living room, right by the couch. Dressed in simple grey sweats and a white shirt - almost a signature look of his.

Mingyu grinned at the girl. "Look at your phone." Said device was on the coffee table, face down to not distract her from the very serious shopping spree Minnie was currently indulging in.

Her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as she glanced to the side, up at the taller member. "You're standing right next to. Show me."

"No," he shook his head, "look at your phone."

Not wanting to start a pointless argument in the middle of the day, she leaned forward with a slight sigh to snatch her phone off the surface. Turning it around, the notification she had heard only a few seconds ago was beaming right in her eyes. With one quick click and the face-id feature, the group chat the three dormmates had created after moving in together opened. Mingyu's message, a picture, was right at the bottom. "The chair?" She thought out loud. The rapper had sent a screenshot from a website, showing a white woven chair. As all three of them were getting ready to move into the new place they had chosen to rent, the hunt for new furniture had begun. Some of their old stuff, they'd of course bring along, but as their current apartment was slightly smaller, they'd have a lot more space to fill in the future. Some of that space would be filled with a new and bigger dining table, that would ideally have chairs as well.

Mingyu nodded excitedly. "I just ordered them."

The girl's head snapped towards him, her lips slightly parted. "Huh?"

"Four of them. But I think six might be smarter. For more people, right?"

"You didn't order them." Her statement was possibly supposed to come out as a question, but it surely didn't sound like one. As she took a quick peek back at the picture an almost chuckle fell from her lips.

"I did," he repeated, nodding once again. With a few steps forward, the '97 Liner sat down next to her, grunting as he let himself fall onto the sofa.

"No, you didn't," each time, Minnie tried to convince herself of the fact that this man just admitted to buying four, almost six, of those garden stools, only for them to be put into their new dining space.

"I really did," Mingyu chuckled, not catching up with her distressed reaction. "Look," he held up his phone screen, "We have a similar dining table and it looks good," showing her a picture on the original website.

"But..." The female member stopped herself, "Why did you order them?"

"We said we'd go for a European style, so... you don't like them?" Finally, he had caught onto it.

Minnie could only shake her head, her eyebrows scrunched up apologetically as she locked eyes with him.

"What? Why not?" The rapper gasped.

She shrugged, "They don't look good."

"Yes, they do," he glanced back down at the screen, "If you sit on them, you'll feel like you're in Greece."

"Why would I want to feel like I'm sitting in Greece when I'm in my dining room? Maybe for the terrace, but definitely not for inside!" The girl started arguing.

"You said you liked the European style," Mingyu commented back, his voice getting slightly louder in annoyance.

"Yeah, European as in like... Scandinavian. Not beach style. This isn't cute for a dining room."

He shook his head, pushing himself back to stand up. "Look at them once they're here, and then maybe you'll like them. How would you know that now?"

Minnie was quick to shake her head, her laptop already back on the coffee table. "No, because I don't like this style in general. And my mom's an interior designer, I think I have a pretty good eye then."

He shrugged, "Maybe you don't."

The female member scoffed, thinking for a second if she should continue that exact conversation, but decided against it. "Why would you even order them without asking us first? I ask you guys about everything too!"

"You didn't when you ordered that knife set," Mingyu pointed out, on his way to the kitchen, but turned around when he noticed the serious stance the girl had taken.

"Are you serious?!" She huffed out, "What's bigger? The only four chairs at the dining table or three knives out of many more that we'll have?"

"But I'm gonna use the knives the most probably," he argued. A good point, but Minnie wasn't going to admit that in the heat of the moment.

"I'm gonna use them too!"

"Yeah, but me too! And you didn't ask me about them," he stated, now walking back to open the fridge door, and getting the bottle of water he was looking for. 

"Okay!" The female member shot up from her place on the sofa, palms up. "Go and ask Wonwoo what he thinks of the chairs."

The oldest of the three was on the better end of the situation as he had been sitting at his gaming set-up for the past two hours. The noise-cancelling headphones being the biggest blessing as they kept him guarded off every single word that came from the '97 Liners.

"He said he doesn't care about the furniture. And," he added sheepishly, "he actually likes the European style."

"Mingyu! This isn't European!" Minnie whined out loud, holding her face in her hands. A frustrated sigh tumbled from her lips. She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself and not get too riled up over some chairs he had ordered, but he was really testing her. 

"You know what?" With her phone in her hands, she started to make her way away from the couch and over to the small hallway that would eventually lead to the gamer's room. "I'll go and ask him since you clearly don't understand why this is-" 

"Wait-"

The girl's rant was quickly interrupted when the taller member got a hold of her arm, pulling her in, making her back hit his chest and keep her from walking further.

"Let me go!" She fought against his tight embrace. But with no luck. "Mingyu, I swear to God-"

He tightened his arms around her, "Just listen to me-"

"Let me go and I'll listen," Minnie argued, stopping her frantic movements to try and shake him off.

"No, look-"

"I'm not listening."

The rapper sighed, "You'll go running as soon as I let go of you."

"No, I won't," she scoffed, turning her head to look up at Mingyu, only to find him with a smirk plastered on his face.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes." She spoke quietly, closing her eyes and nodding her head in etiquette.

As genuine as she sounded, the '97 Liner had known her for long enough to know how good of a romancer she had become, knowing just how to use her words and facial expressions for her benefit. 

He grinned, "But listen to me first-"

"Mingyu! NO!" The girl started giggling in his arms, her hands coming up to wrap around his wrists, trying to push them off, which laughing only made it harder than it already was. "Leave me alone."

"Promise you won't go running off to Wonwoo-hyung," he tried to argue with her, a smile still evidently on her face, as well as on hers now.

Minnie rolled her eyes with a chuckle, "Sure, whatever, I promise. Just let me go," whining the last part out loud, trying to free herself with one last wiggle of her shoulders.

"That doesn't sound very convincing," Mingyu laughed at her attempt, only tightening his grip and pulling her deeper into him, getting a groan from the female member in return. 

Her head snapped back, her hair tickling his chin for a split second. 

"I'll scream." She suddenly threatened, getting a chuckle and 'tsk' in return. "You don't believe me?"

"Minnie-"

"OPPA-!" Her shrill voice echoed through the open room and hallway, only to be cut off within a second by Mingyu's big hand covering her mouth.

"Are you crazy?!" He glanced down at her with wide eyes, genuinely surprised by the sudden outburst. "What are the people underneath us gonna think?"

"I told you, I'd do it." He could feel her grinning underneath his palm, making him roll his eyes. His hand left her face before turning her body around in his embrace, now chest to chest with the smiling girl peeking up at him

"You're really annoying sometimes," he commented, not able to hold back copying her expression with the way she was looking at him.

With a finger to his chest, she blinked up, "But only sometimes," her lips curling into a sheepish smile.

Minnie patted the big muscle underneath his top, "Cancel the order," fluttering her eyelashes extra much, "Please."

"Maybe."

Her act immediately fell, her arms dropping down to her sides while his was still around her shoulder.

"But-" she was once again cut off, only this time by the messenger sounds from both of their phones. He reached into his back pocket, giving the girl the possibility to wiggle out of his embrace, now standing in front of him with her arms crossed.

After one quick look at the screen, he spoke up again. "We have to go." Informing her that the manager was probably already waiting for them downstairs.

"Cancel the order first," the female member didn't back down, continuing her argument.

Mingyu sighed, "Later." Before turning around to get to the front door to put on his shoes and jacket, "Get Wonwoo-hyung."

"Mingyu, cancel it, I'm serious. They're ugly," she continued, but he glanced passed her and raised his voice to call out for the older member, who was already coming out of the door to his gaming room, fixing the sweater he was wearing.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," he passed the girl, joining Mingyu in the hallway. Minnie looked at him almost offended. "You didn't hear me when I called out for you but when he does it you're up in a second?" Putting the fact that he was probably not wearing his headphones anymore these few seconds ago.

"When did you call for me?" Wonwoo wondered, crouching down to get his left foot into the sneaker.

The girl scoffed with a chuckle, walking up to him, "Wow... good to know you wouldn't hear if I was getting murdered."

Mingyu rolled his eyes with a sigh when the '96 Liner glanced at her in confusion and slight concern at the same time.

"Don't say stuff like that," reaching out to tap her chin. Minnie just shook her head and moved to her own pair of shoes in the corner.

The younger rapper was waiting for her, already in his outerwear, holding out his hand with her jacket in his grip. Without a word, she snatched it from him.

"You're being overdramatic," he commented, grazing a hand over her head of hair.

"Cancel the order, and I won't be," she shrugged off his statement, brushing past him to get to the door, but with his much longer legs, he had caught up with her, getting a hold of the handle first. He opened it and motioned for her to walk out first, chuckling even before his answer dropped from his tongue.

"Maybe later."

"Mingyu-" she turned back around, ready to smack him, only to be pushed further out the door by Wonwoo rolling his eyes in amusement behind her.

You better bet she was sulky about the situation during their practice session as well. And maybe the multiple times she then stepped on Mingyu's foot weren't all that accidental after all.

Taglist: @waosobii @chaebb @lunarxsun @hoe4wonwoo @kimhyejin3108 @soobzao @billboard-singer @cosmicwintr @zwiehe @alixnsuperstxr @angie-x3 @smooore @allthings-fandoms

[darkcircles4lyfe]

hi hello ive just come from your enneagram 9 izuku post and i am just OVERWHELMED with joy & excitement after reading it, everything you said just feels so RIGHT!!

(i am a nine myself & have always felt weirdly attached to izuku in that he felt soso similar to me in such a weirdly specific way but i couldn't really explain why i just Got Him until now, so thanks for that little boost of validation lol)

with your post in mind, i couldn't stop thinking about this line from 412 and it got me curious if you had any additional thoughts on it/read it the same way i did:

the moment i read this line i immediately took a screenshot & filed it away in my Important Izuku Moments file, like idk! the wording of it, the way he's talking about shigaraki but could SO easily be talking about himself, that honestly devastating panel of the tears in his eyes...

we've gotten plenty of hints about izuku's emotional suppression (that 'heroes dont cry' scene with iida & todoroki, his flashback of all might telling him to 'stop being such a cry baby' during the afo fight, the whole 'control your heart' plotline...) but THIS line in particular feels so significant for some reason. maybe cause this could easily be izuku recognizing himself in/through shigaraki? maybe bc it is so close to izuku acknowledging the lid hes put on his own sad & lonely past? maybe bc this is the closest we've ever gotten to izuku saying i'm not okay, even if he isn't actually talking about himself yet?

im trying really hard not to ramble too much in your inbox lol, but everything you said in your post about tomura & izuku really hit home for me, i think you're so right about them. and this line in particular is what makes me think we really are going to see some version of tomura being the one to finally break through (Decay) izuku's emotional blocks & barriers (something something locked door imagery), and that just makes me really excited. for both of them :')

YAY!! I’m so glad to hear you resonated with it. It’s otherwise a bit of a “if you know you know” sort of situation, and it felt good to actually explain it.

I had a “!” moment with that panel too, and also when he says he’s determined to break through Tomura’s barrier, expose and acknowledge his pain.

My immediate thought was, “Oh hey, I’m definitely not making this shit up after all, because Horikoshi is obviously intending to confront the concept of bottling up your emotions/your past. He literally just stated it. We're on the same page.” While it didn’t directly confirm anything about Izuku, it's at least something he is aware of, which is an important first step. There's a line in Sleeping At Last's 'Nine' that I was thinking about a lot as I was writing the latter part of that post: "I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes," which speaks to a need for Tomura to be Izuku's mirror, so that he can see himself.

Also, the revelation that Izuku is clinging to the idea that everyone has a "human heart" deep down is pretty clearly applicable to himself too, implying that he's dealing with a lack of self worth (a lot of Japanese fans were talking about this, and I think it doesn't come across as easily in English). I really love how Kudou clarified that Izuku is not naive for this. It's not the same as being blissfully ignorant to how cruel people can be. It's more like, "I need to believe in the worth of others or else I can't believe in myself." That's... so painful and beautiful.

I'm also excited for what comes next! Very soon!

[the-rocket-scientist]

BIG NEWS. YOU BETTER READ THIS ONE!!!

Sorry for the long letter. This is me writing for awareness and my thoughts on the recent event! Also an apology letter due to my long hiatus, sorry to all those 20+ requestors waiting!! :,(

If any of you were up to date then you probably noticed the Alex Kister incident. There were victims, and there is evidence exposed by the victims. 

In a very basic nutshell he was a weird person. I'm putting that in the nicest way possible. 

In a plain nutshell he showed signs of predatory behavior towards minors and other people alike. I'm putting that in the most factual way possible but still trying to be relatively nice and mellow. 

For the long story here is the twitter post that leads to a google document that shows screenshots of what happened in very specific manners. You don't have to read them all, but skim through for the general context.

Here's the thing.... I was slowly moving out of the fandom, trying to focus on my life and my personal projects. However, as soon as I saw this, it was about time I moved out of the fandom. I'll still be writing! But for now... hiatus. It's very ironic how Alex Kister said he was uncomfortable with his characters and the alternates all represented sexually in smut fics and other fanart, when he... probably liked the attention? Felt complicated about NSFW of his show? I will never know. 

When the actor of Jonah was fired for controversial events that he perhaps caused due to the obvious conflict between Gabriel Linan and Alex Kister, he had uploaded a screenshot that proved how rude to Alex Kister he was. But the screenshot didn't seem to have anything wrong with that or had offensive content... not that I know. Humans are complex and unpredictable. They could be hiding something and taking things out deliberately that show their true nature. That doesn't mean I support either of them, nor will I degrade them. I will never know unless in full truth, and that is very hard to discover. I don't want to act out impulsively on emotions, I want to act with my mind first. Think before I judge. So I will wait until the testimonies are proven to be somewhat accurate to be true.

(This is the link from Linan's final statement before he had left X/Twitter. If the link is inaccessable, that's weird. It doesn't work for me too, but I swear just a year ago it still worked...)

But despite this I cannot help but feel that Gabriel Linan was trying to help with Alex Kister's mental issues that have been prevailing for a long time (which is what he said in the apology letter), but to keep the reputation he had been fired from keeping the news spreading more. Then yet again, these are just predictions and doubts, that doesn't mean they are confirmed to be real. 

There is a quote I heard from somewhere, but I don't know who said it or how exactly it was worded. And I'm glad to see that although there are people who act out on emotion instead of waiting for the truth to unravel more, there are people who support the creation itself rather than the creator. So for the moment I am supporting the fandom, but I am also supporting the victims, and my respect for Alex Kister has gone a little down. It is also ironic that he would do this when he said he was a Christian (from what I heard last time), but the actions he did were considered sinful and immoral in the Bible. I may not be the best devoted believer in Christianity but believe me, it is considered a sin. Perhaps he is no longer a Christian, which I respect. I wasn't up to date with anything happening in the TMC fandom after all until recently.

So to spite the respect because of the betrayal we all feel?

Smut requests might be going to be soon opened on a separate book.

You heard me right.

I no longer feel uncomfortable with NSFW content and I am now willing to try to take a step further in enhancing my writing, to a variety of contents. HOWEVER. The key word here is MIGHT, I may not open the book for who knows how long. But in the end, the truth has been revealed and why do all content creators I admire have to be one of the kinds of humans that have the most strangest immoralities.

Alright. R_Sci out. Sorry for the long hiatus, had lots to do and had lots in mind. 

Stay safe, everyone. 

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

First meditation with Khaos, the vast void of space

Quick warnings: this is a pretty long post, but I'm using it as a way to record everything I remember happening during this meditation so it has things other than just what happened with Khaos! This is also actually originally written weeks ago, I just left it in my drafts for ages whoops.

Another note: I won't be using only she/her pronouns for Khaos in the future, although I don't think they give a singular fuck either way, I just am tired today and wanted to get this posted without having to edit it.

UPG disclaimer. Even the title is UPG, my personal associations with Khaos.

So, I had things to do and decided I wanted to have a proper chat with Loki about it. I started up my meditation music, grabbed whatever crystals felt right, and laid down.

One of the first things they did was hug me. I am someone who has issues with receiving love, and this caught me entirely off guard. Of course I go "wtf bitch you can't do that???" And he basically told me something along the lines of "fuck you I do what I want." (Note: Loki is deeply salty that I cannot remember their actual wording, as it did not have the boundary breaking "I hug you if I want no matter your thoughts on it" implications this wording does. Loki is big on boundaries being respected with me. I feel the need to write that down.)

But we chatted about a spell I was planning, and Loki- who promptly draped himself across a couple logs all dramatically- was very enthusiastic about helping. We went back and forth, I also brought up Apollo to say hello, and then I felt... someone on the edge of things. Apollo was pretty abruptly gone, which makes sense for reasons I'll explain in a moment.

Loki stepped beside me, and sort of had their arm over my shoulders in a distinctly protective manner. Thing is, nothing felt malicious, and I asked them why the hell they seemed so protective when I felt perfectly safe. They explained that I was safe, but "she's pretty fucking intimidating so you might need someone to keep you steady."

Enter Khaos. I realized it was her because instead of a humanoid, or even recognizable form, suddenly within the protected astral space I go when I meditate (I'll just call it "homespace" from now on) is this massive fucking orb of void.

Except this is much bigger, and the orb I was met with was only... "half" of one. Like it'd been sliced, a few solid chunks cut out, like when a video game renders wrong and certain chunks won't load. I actively tried to imagine it as whole, to change it- it wouldn't budge. When I took the above screenshot as a reference, seeing how tiny my character was compared to the in-game thing that I compared Khaos to, it brought a whole new meaning to Loki's explanation as to why it was only half of an orb.

"She's trying not to scare you."

Loki assured me that they would be with me the whole time, that we were not leaving homespace and the orb was completely within the protection of homespace, and we walked in. It was pitch black, void all around, and I could see Loki as if he was lit up in the middle of day but that was it. Khaos came out of the void, sort of appearing out of the "wall" of darkness- being formed from it herself as if it were liquid. I asked her what she had to say.

She looked at me, just smiled, and said "good luck."

I admit, I laughed. I pointed out that THAT sounded ominous as hell. I knew what she meant- she was genuinely wishing me luck, since I have a lot of growth ahead of me and working with her is going to be a pretty big deal for me. But at the time, I couldn't help but laugh. Later, when I was recounting this to my mom, I got a very clear image of hands of darkness holding a bright orb of light. Offering it to me. It wasn't just wishing me luck. It was a gift.

Not long after that, I was suddenly made more aware of my physical body in the form of an ant crawling across me. I got the ant off of me, and went back- only to find that I couldn't just go back to the void we were standing in. Loki met me where we originally had started, and confirmed that I wasn't able to go into her space uninvited. I told them I couldn't go through the process of getting further into a meditative state and walking back into the void, and they said it was okay.

And I swear to you, I'm not fucking with you when I say this is exactly what was said next.

Me: "So... It's so interesting- Is the only way to talk to her to go into the void, be consumed by her energy entirely?"

Khaos, suddenly behind me: "Sort of, but not entirely no."

Me, finding out that my startle reflex is just as bad in the astral: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-"

Khaos: "No." (As in no, she's not Jesus. /Lh I just feel like it might not be clear!)

You guys. She wasn't even trying to be funny. I adore Khaos already I'm gonna have a fucking great time.

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 51 // discussion

since the chapter is out right now, being raws and the translation, i won't be posting many screenshots as i usually do in respect of everyone. there being said, i want to talk about some things that happened in this chapter!!! also, i'm not calling it an analyze because i think i want to discuss about it more than analyzing it, if that makes sense. anyways, here we go!

this chapter really feels like a road trip, doesn't it? the pacing, the excitement, even the car seats arrangement. there's such a summer and youth vibes to it and that makes me so, so happy and excited for what's to come! i think that, in the end, two characters were the star of chap 51: maharu and nao.

want to talk about maharu first. at first, i was really surprised by her reaction, but wasn't the narrative building up to this? maharu has been showing signs of insecurity since some chapters ago, so it makes total sense, in my head for her to act like that, for a lot of reasons the most important one is the insecurity of being a small town girl when surrounded by people from the city. maharu is a girl who's starting her teenage years, so it's normal for her to see everything as "cooler than her" or that her traditions are less than people from tokyo.

and, hidden underneath this insecurity, she's facing two weird feelings. 1. the idea that her sister is changing and starting to become "a city girl" (since she was the only one who was "well put" while having lunch). 2. her sister's friends, which i have a little suspicious that she knows that them are helping mitsumi to buy her things that would suit her better. and finally 3. the jealously of having all the attention focused on her sister. i mean, she's also having problems! she's also changing! she's a teenager, she wants attention!!

mitsumi is changing, so is maharu. she's feels like she's losing importance, that mitsumi is no long part of their life style and that all her friends are "too good to be there". it's a ride, specially for a girl who's starting to feel the teenage hormones acting up.

and now, the other character that needs a spotlight: nao. it was widely known that nao hasn't come back since she transitioned. her hometown brings her a lot of dark memories and dealing with her family wasn't all that easy. who can imagine what's going to happen when she's finally back? and well, would you look at that: not only nao received a pleasant surprise, but us as well. that doesn't mean the scars are healed or that she's feeling 100% fine and safe there, but just the small step into recognition means more than words can explain.

general thoughts about the chapter:

mika being the one to first realize that something is wrong between shimamitsu really came as a surprise to me!! i know i made a lot of jokes about this before, but i was sure fumi would be the first one to catch that, and not one of the tokyo girls.

this makes me feel like we're closer and closer to mitsumi finally opening up to the girls and shima facing some criticism aside from his internal ones. this might result in a loot of outcomes, but i know that sensei have the perfect one hidden on her sleeve.

about shima (since we all know i'm a shima maniac), other than that, my suspicions about him not telling his mother about the trip is starting to grow. i mean, we never really saw nao talking to her, he didn't brought a gift (we know that his mother would never let that happen), so it all feels so sus to me...but also, on a lighter note, it's the first time he's visiting a friend's house (that isn't chris or mukai, people he grew up with). i mean, he never had that!! he never thought it would be possible!!! how amazing is that for him!!! (aside from the heartbreak scene he saws...)

the wallet scene is a focal point of the chapter, and this opens a lot of future resolutions involving shima. it's kind of a smaller moment in the bigger picture, but his face after seeing maharu storming out tells a lot to me, in a way. he can clearly see how hurt mitsumi is, even tho she's trying to fake it. all i wish right now is that he takes a step further and talk to her about this, give her some sort of comfort. he knows how important that moment (buying the wallet, i mean) was to her, and now he just saw with his own two eyes what happened, so i really hope he takes a step in. i truly do.

this could lead to a more mukai focused chapter, hear me out: with shima and mitsumi relationship being weird right now, it's obvious that, even if shima comforts her, things won't be normal for a while. they will both hide what happened and i have a feeling that mukai will be the one to caught on that. why? because he's the one who can have a better grasp on shima's bullshit. it won't give us a huge mukai lore but hmmmm...idk it's just a feeling. i can be very very wrong and that's totally fine, but my mind is twirling around this...

now if we're talking about fumi...:

i think a lot can happen, honestly. if sensei is thinking about focusing on maharu a little more, i can see maharu thinking fumi isn't by her side as well, which is a plausible outcome given the feelings that maharu has been dealing with.

if fumi takes maharu side, many different outcomes can happen. mitsumi and her can have a little discussion (nothing too hard, but it would make both feel very sad ofc) and mitsumi would have a little self conscious moment that she isn't giving the proper attention to her family and old friends.

if we think about fumi also being jealous, it can still have an outcome like the scenario i mentioned above or the meeting doesn't go as well as we were expecting. it's a thought moment to really focus on, since we didn't had any fumi thought yet, just a little glimpse.

can't wait to see what's waiting for us, can't wait to see all of them at the beach. i had a little bit of interaction between nao and shima (which you all know means A LOT to me) and now i can finally have my baby fumi meeting all of them. i'm so happy it feels surreal, in a way

thank you for reading it 🌟

[keelifallen]

uhm can i ask how you got so good at character likeness? as in how do u practise/what steps do you take?

Omg?! Thank you!!! I’m still asking other people for the same advice, I don’t know how I’m on the other side of this question.

My explanation might not answer ur question properly, or even be comprehensible but I’ll do my best

Learning about your subject is the best way to understand how to draw it. So here some thoughts on how to do that

Blur your eyes when looking at your reference. What things that pop out the most?

Study different angles of their face

What makes them unique to others?

Look at different expressions they make

Is there a way they usually present themselves?

It’s easier if you know how to draw anatomically correct, or even just believable characters. And by that, I don’t mean muscles and bones. I mean placement and perspective.

But everybody starts somewhere. If you don’t know how to do that it’s ok. I didn’t know jack squat when I started, and I’ve learned a lot since then.

For starters, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, so what applies to me may not apply to you. Seeing as I don’t know where ur at, I can’t help you with specifics

how do i practice?

Answer: Honestly I don’t. Either that, or all my work is practice. If I’m not feeling super involved, but still want to draw I’ll do “warmups” but it’s just me doing low effort work.

what steps do I take?

I have good Pinterest algorithm, so when I like a character, their pictures will flood my feed. When I see an image that looks, for a lack of a better word “catchy” I’ll screenshot it.

It usually has a well defined light source shadows lines etc. and I don’t even have to draw it (I try to though) but even if I just look at it for a while, I can visually break it down to simple shapes/shadows.

That helps me to understand the picture for what it actually is, and not what I think it looks like. 5 times out of 10, I do end up drawing what I screenshot. But I don’t always post it. Sometimes it turns out bad, sometimes I just don’t feel like completing it. And that’s fine :) having fun is the best motivation to keep going, and getting better.

When I do post art, it can vary from a cartoonish line art, to ¿almost? Realistic. But in both situations I’m trying to simplify my subject into the most simple form.

This isn’t a great example but you get the idea

For my line art, I:

keep the shapes, basic, big and blocky. Just so I have an idea of where everything is. if things get too confusing, you can honestly just make a silhouette and go from there. REMEMBER TO KEEP IS SIMPLE, DO NOT GET CAUGHT IN THE DETAILS you can do that later

Once you’re done with the VERY LARGE SHAPES, then map out the features. Let it look ugly cuz heaven knows it will be. And that’s ok too. You just gotta get it down.

Then focus on perspective. Like if his head is facing right, the outside corner of his eye will look round instead of sharp. And in his nose will be touching/covering part of his eye

Then, lastly, and most importantly look at the shadows. Your lines on the line art will look heaviest where the shadow is the darkest 

And remember, the brain will fill in information, so just focus on the shadows. Look at kaz’s hair. I have a couple triangles to show the gaps. I hardly even touched the top. I only drew the bottom of his nose, but you know the whole nose is there

+Never underestimate the power of multiple references.

OH!!! I’m revising my previous statement, this is the most important rule. The non-conventional features are what make or break your character. Don’t try to avoid them, make them work with your subject.

If you don’t draw them, your style might turn out looking like the “anime” style new artist try to avoid.

And if your wanting to go more realistic there are no lines. The only way to tell anything apart is value.

Not saying this is realistic, but all the “lines” are actually just value contrasting between shadow and highlights. So generally the only things that should look dark have the most depth.

And then there’s the whole deal with expressions. They have a huge part to play in character likeness. If you know how a face functions, you can add so much nuance to your art. But I’m just starting to learn that so I can’t help you yet.

Any way GOOD LUCK!!!! GO FORTH AND DRAW

[karenandhenwilson]

The actual call out part of this whole thing

As said in the first post, I'm not naming names. I did tag two people in a post when I first involved myself in this situation. That was because I for one wanted them to see my response but I didn't want to reblog several other posts with the same post of myself, but I also talked about something one of them had said and mentioned a private conversation that at that point I could only assume had taken place with the second person and I didn't want to talk about them without them knowing. 

(Again, the rest is under the break. I've clearly had to many thoughts to share.)

I'm not in the habit of talking about people behind their back in public posts. So I tagged them with the thought that it would give them a chance to react for themselves either by commenting on the post, reposting themselves or reaching out to me in DMs. Instead the first person blocked me sight unseen and the second never talked to me at all and consequently blocked me sometime late on Tuesday judging by when I could still access their blog and when I couldn't anymore.

In reaction to being blocked by the first person, I included this in my next post:

Interestingly enough, the first person responded with this:

No idea where I called them childish, but whatever. It's honestly par for the course of them and their friends to put words in other people’s mouths, mostly with the goal to make them look bad. I'll discuss another instance in the post about communication, too.

Despite them blocking me, they clearly still got screenshots or maybe have a second account to watch the situation. (And yes, as I have screenshots, I've obviously also friends providing me with those.) Which is a ridiculous thing, honestly. Of course everyone has the right to curate their own online experience. But if you decide to block people in a debate, step out of the debate because you are actively making it impossible to communicate with you while still vague or not so vague posting about the situation on your own blog and actively trying to pull others into the debate to lead your attacks in your stead.

This person clearly made assumptions about what I meant with my comment about blocking conversations while complaining that the other side wasn't interested in those. And I don't know, but I felt it important from the very first moment to point out this wrong assumption. I didn't talk about them blocking the artist, I talked about them blocking me for nothing else but the audacity to back up the artist instead of bowing down to their opinion. (Also, reading what I wrote again, I also wonder how the confusion could have been created at all. I clearly said I couldn't reblog some posts because I was blocked by the person who creaed the blog. How do you go from there to me talking about the artist?)

Edit: It was just pointed out to me that the artist called this person childish in the tags of their re-post of the original art that they made after the call out pots went online. I had not fully read them or at least didn't remember! But alas, another point for how convoluted the vague-posting after blocking someone is, and how much it muddles up the communication!

But that happens when you don't talk with people but just about people, isn't it? You'll make wild and wrong assumption and won't even notice it.

Also, you asked this:

My paragraphs above are the answer to it. You clearly don't want to have a conversation at all, so no one is taking you seriously enough to talk to you off anon. And you've also proven two years ago you'll put anyone on a list for just leaving kudos on the wrong fic or a like the wrong art, let alone arguing with you.

Some readers might wonder why I bring up the situation of two years ago at all. For one, of course, because one of the people I'm talking about already brought it up (and—oh how surprisingly—twisting up and outright lying about what happened). But also because there is a pattern here.

Because the root of the situation two years ago is the same group of people who started it this time as well. It is actually the exact same person who first wrote the artist and then turned unkind as soon as the artist asked for clarification, posting several times on her blog to tell people not to support the artist, all the while also complaining when that didn't work. A little over two years ago, the very first list of "undesirables" that later led to the whole explosion in fandom, came from this person.

(And I feel I need to point out, there were POC authors on this list from the very first iteration on. But of course, the list was created to make fandom safer for POC fans, even though the first iteration of the list before it got expanded wasn't even about Chimney or racism at all despite other claims by the person who brought it up in the last couple of days. It all started with some fics about Maddie that they didn't like, and denying that is so hilarious when their very first fic in response to it still holds the same passive-aggressive tag about "a response to that other awful fic". Yes, I did just go and check if you had changed your tags in the meantime.)

What I have seen from their posts, they don't care that they might have driven away a POC artist from this fandom permanently, again. While others who posted call out posts on Monday have apologized (though, in some cases not very honestly), this group has either not said anything about it or are now complaining about being the original victims (… I don’t even have words without getting really rude!) Or they claim they can harass someone publicly, but apologizing only works in private:

Do you really think the artist should be comfortable with having a private conversation with you after you already twisted and widely shared other private conversations they had with your friends? And do you really think attacking someone openly doesn't also deserve an open apology? What's a private apology worth if the person you hurt had to endure all that hurt openly but now isn't allowed to hear the apology just as openly?

There have been several claims that the conversation was always civil and there was no one asking for anyone to bully the artist:

(free sprace to show a new screenshot beginning)

Snapping at the artist in response to them asking for clarification isn't being polite. Sitting on your end of a private conversation and sharing this conversation around widely—I'm even assuming openly with everyone in your Discord and also probably looking for the worst meaning in every single word because I'm sure you had already made up your mind the artist had to be a spoiled white girl—is not being polite. I mean, part of this conversation was later—in this case I have to say thankfully because it cleared up one of the misinformation spread—even posted by someone who said to have not been involved until she wanted to boost your call out post. Claiming the attention their art gets is inflating their ego is not civil.

Creating a call out post at all, and then doubling down not once but twice (just counting the reposts, not the other posts about the topic being posted that same day), is so far away from being polite. Honestly, how can anyone think this is polite:

(free sprace to show a new screenshot beginning)

(free sprace to show a new screenshot beginning)

The last thing said by one of these people, I want to address this:

The way this situation went, every artist coming into this fandom in the future will very carefully think about even trying to create art about Jee-Yun. Those who already created art of Jee might decide to delete it at least from their own accounts out of fear to be hit next.

That's what your call out posts led to. And what they would have led to even if you hadn't met resistance. Wide resistance, even from people who in the past supported you. And who this time first didn't join in your call outs and later even openly spoke up against it. I truly hope those same people will step up in the future to support your victims instead of just condemning you after the damage has already been done.

I'm convinced they'll do it again, sometime in the future they'll find another victim and they'll also find once more people who'll agree with them without checking or by letting themselves be lured in by their twisted tale of it. Even now in their non-apologies (that's not including everyone who apologized, but some of them) they twist around what happened, claiming to be misunderstood or to be the victim. So they, again, clearly didn't learn anything.

I hope other parts of this fandom will have learned then to step up and support the victim even if that's sometimes a difficult step to take because it will make them a target, too, or make the situation at first worse for the victim. (I felt that way on Monday. That me getting involved would lead to the situation exploding like it did two years ago. I'm doubting this post a little because of the fear of that very thing happening, though I still feel it important to put these thoughts out there. I'm also feeling encouraged by some of the pseudo-apologies to make sure that this situation will not be forgotten. And at this point I hope if it does explode, I'll be the main target of that and not the artist.)

Why am I sure they'll find new victims in the future?

Because this is not the first time they again attacked someone over the past two years. They have targeted their old victims several times, have targeted new people, too. Both on their blogs very openly but also in their victims' comments sometimes anonymously, sometimes not. This is just the first time they found any kind of traction again. I assume because they found a victim completely new to fandom who had at the beginning no backup at all, no fandom friends to turn to for support. I do wonder now if they have found other people like this even before the events of two years ago and successfully driven them away from fandom, celebrating it in their discord server as a victory. Sadly, this also isn't the first group in fandom as a whole to behave like this. There are so many examples practically in every fandom you look at. So even if this particular group by some miracle stops being bullies, others will step into their place. So everyone else of us in fandom needs to be careful and considerate and be ready to take the risk of stepping up.

[pidgecv]

pre-bed thought dump so i can actually sleep without too many thought swirling around and clogging up my brain (my friends r all asleep so i can’t spam them instead 😔)

i miss turtle posting btw i’ve decided to do more turtle posting again (probs starting tomorrow w some sketches i’ve been hoarding or smth)

man my tumblr activity graph is gonna be wack anyways i finished reading orv, cried a few times, i’m emotionally devastated but at least FINALLY the boy is implied to be back. I have dnd at 9:30am and i have NOT told my parents (worse case i’ll walk there) yet i am. so tired. but my brain is zooming. i can not read very well. but my brain is ZOOMING.

here is a collection of some of my fav late orv chapters (a lot of them aren’t included bc i got tired of taking screenshots every damn chapter istg) ((also i read most of the novel ages ago now so this is from my recent “so the nightmare begins again” bout of hyperfixation))

i think i saved a fuck ton of lines i liked from some of the earlier chapters on my ipad but i don’t think i set my ipad to nightlight earlier and i’m not up for getting blue light biden blasted rn

i’ll go back to turtle posting pretty soon i think since last time i hyperfixated on orv i speedran the stages of hyperfixation and this time i’m even out of novel to read. i have reached my very own conclusion. my phone is lagging to hell when i type it’s taking my letters around a second to appear on the screen but i’m not exactly typing any slower so it backlogs and i can just sit there and watch the words be typed if i go fast enough lollll.

i’ve gotta draw raph in my au man. i gotta make him interesting bc i love him he is literally wonderful i just really suck at drawing him and leo bc rise is an artstyle that’s a total 180 from the stuff i’ve drawn previously. i continue to amass more art styles, soon no one will be safe. I just want to do them justice. they’re not the main character but they’re important and i feel bad for not fleshing them out well yet. i want to write them well and i want to write them with importance. i want every character i write to be with a purpose. to have potential for their own stories. i don’t want them to be hollow side characters, and the first step to achieving that is giving them designs i love. i love to look at and draw. i’ve achieved that with donnie and mikey and i’m starting to with leo but i’m so intimidated by raph because as important as he is as a character to the story i want to write he is by far the hardest for me to draw in the way that i think fits. in the way that i want. because i know what i want in his design and character, but i can’t quite get it right in the context of the artstyle i want to draw my au in. might have to bend some of the stylistic rules i set for myself to get him to work unfortunately.

[alltimefail-sims]

What are other ways to save sims you create without posting them on the Gallery?

I'm assuming this is the same person, so I'm going to answer both of these questions in tandem!

It's a bit of a long-winded answer, soooo...

let’s get into it! Response below the cut ↓

Here's how to save sims to your tray/library without posting them on the gallery:

That's it! There's nothing else you have to do. You can access your library at any time by clicking the gallery button and going to "My Library." (It will be the third tab). If your sim uses CC, like mine, you'll need to make sure you have "Include Custom Content" checked in the sidebar for them to show up. I forgot to take a screenshot of that, but here's an image from SimsVIP that shows you what I'm talking about!

Now: "Why do sims get banned?" That's a complicated question that I would need more details to answer - are you talking about banned from posting on the gallery, or banned from your EA account/accessing your Sims game in general? I've never heard of anyone being banned for using a lot of CC or posting sims on the gallery that use a lot of cc - in fact, I was under the impression that bans from the gallery are pretty rare! If you are just having trouble posting on the gallery but still can play your game and access your EA account, you could be using words or phrases that are prohibited. It also could just be an outdated mod or piece of CC causing the issue. Are you getting notifications when you try to post? Feel free to reach out to me with specifics and so I can help you. (Off anon and in a private message would be best, but if you'd prefer to stay anonymous in my asks that's fine, too!) If I can't figure out the issue, I can at least point you in the direction of someone who can.

All that being said, if you don't mind me giving my personal opinion/a piece of advice, there's really no reason to post sims that use "a lot" of CC on the gallery anyway, especially if you use custom presets or sliders. When people download your sims from the gallery, if they don't have the cc you used, they'll get a basically naked sim (cc does not transfer through the gallery - you might know this, but I thought I'd specify just in case).

If you want to share non-vanilla sims, I would recommend downloading The Sims 4 Tray Importer. It's a useful and free program that, among other functions, will take all the households you've saved to your library and provide the specific tray files and an organized list of all the custom content you used in that household as well. From there, you can literally copy the tray files and the cc files directly from their source folders and put them in a Zip/RAR file to share with others. This sounds complicated, but trust me it's not! There are a lot of tutorials out there, but if you want me to write the steps on how I do this, I'd be more than happy to do that in a separate post.

Here's what that same sim from above, Ramona Spivey, looks like in TS4 Tray Importer:

Please ignore the spoiler alert graphic - there were two households and a build I have yet to share and I didn't want to spoil them lol!!

Again, please feel free to reach out with additional questions you may have or, if you want me to, I'd be happy to make a tutorial on how I personally share my sims with CC in a separate post!

I hope this was helpful! 🖤

[lulusoblue]

So, I'm posting in response to this from @teoxihuitl because I have vvatchword blocked for reasons I'm sure will be clear and as a result I can't reblog a chain from her blog. Tumblr honestly looking out for me because I don't want the fic featured on my blog.

Please read the reblog for screenshots concerned. Content warning: mentions of CP because I got into an argument with people defending it.

Can also confirm that vvatchword/Watch and bluishrose(?)/Rose stood by these views in a second argument later, but it was confusing because they were backstracking in "CP is bad" and somehow also doubling down in that "censorship is bad"? It went around in circles, to the point where other members were trying to take the topic away from this and ignore it. To my memory and according to my screens, most of them showed support for Watch and Rose or pretended this wasn't happening.

Also, note that Rose above compared reporting CHILD PORNOGRAPHY to the censorship of queer art. Because I did. I took note of it at the time and called her out on it.

And note that Watch is contradicting herself because CP is "despicable in every form it takes", yet before and after this she stands by her opinion of "oh but if the children are fictional it doesn't count". I'm pretty sure this was her trying to placate things and/or convince me and a friend that we, in fact, were wrong and minsunderstanding Watch and Rose.

I was done after this. In this server six months when this happened, and when it did and I stepped away from speaking with anyone there, I started to calm down and recognise things that should have been red flags from the beginning. And, yes, as @teoxihuitl has said, there was some racists comments and behaviour, things I didn't see while I was part of the "clique".

For the record I don't think that Watch or Rose are predators, and I hope to fuck they aren't, but I will say that on hearing their views on CP that I did not want to interact with them, nor did I feel safe interacting with them. I'm the same age as Watch, we are both in our thirties, and I no longer felt safe to speak with them or within their server. Rose apologised to me for them not "explaining [themselves]" and losing patience, while Watch didn't apologise at all, just telling me that there were "no hard feelings", they didn't apologise to my friend who also got involved and ended up leaving, because not to mince words the server were a bunch of dicks to my friend, mostly because of the aforementioned racism.

Then after this, I learned that her "tcest fic for a friend that i hated writing lol" was the least concerning thing about her writing history to do with the TMNT, I had a friend who wrote some for a vent fic once, I thought I could understand and overlook that. It makes me sick now, because as it turned out if I had been nosy and looked through her Ao3, I would have seen 2-3 fics shipping a 15yo teenage mutant ninja turtle with adult women. It was TMNT 2003 so I know it was with characters who were adults. I would have never decided to make friends with her if I had seen that in the first place and on learning this it suddenly made sense why Watch was so defensive, she was defending herself over her own minor/adult ships/shipfics.

If you have read this and want to do anything in response, just block vvatchword and bluishrose. Don't interact, don't harass, just block them. Trust me that neither are worth stooping to that level.

And Watch, if you're reading this, maybe don't go interacting with blog of minors who have DNIs in their bios that might apply to you?

[cardentist]

I want to link my other thread on this post where I dig into my feelings in more depth. I go into some things that I'm going to get into here, as well as things I might not touch on in this response: [Link]

nobody Has to read it, but if you want to argue with this response then I'm considering it required reading. people are free to think I'm wrong, but I want them to know what my perspective is before telling me so.

I also want to say that while this Is a response to what you've said, this is largely just. me expressing something. it's a response to you but it's also a verbalization of my feelings on a lot of things from a lot of people.

I'm going to try to be as fair as possible, we're both speaking about something that's clearly very important to us on an emotional level and I can understand Why you'd respond this way. but this Is hurtful to me. that said, my frustration here isn't with you specifically (not really), it's with a pattern of interactions I've had up until this point.

that Said

my original post is tagged:

"this is more of a vent post than anything but it's a thought on my mind. I'm tagging this transandrophobia (and called out the existence of trans men and mascs in particular) because I am those things, and that's the tag that I use to talk about those issues that affect these things. but this is really about all marginalized men" [End Transcription]

this was a vent post I made because the Core Idea of the post in the screenshot is something that I agree with and have for years (that women and girls are unrepresented in media and fandom), but the post itself had a visceral effect on me while reading.

I reflected on those feelings and attempted to get them out into words. that it upset me, why it upset me, and a wish that people would word this sentiment in a way that wasn't potentially hurtful to people they did not mean to hurt.

as I have repeated Multiple Times throughout this post, I do not and have never blamed the op for this. I don't Think that they intended to imply anything about anybody, I think they did the exact same thing that I did. wrote a post about something that they feel very strongly about from their perspective.

which is why I chose to create my own post with their name redacted, and why I chose to reiterate multiple times that the op of the post didn't do anything Wrong. I did not want to speak over the original post, as it Was making a valid point. I just Also wanted to speak about my frustration with the ways that people Word conversations like this. not because they Intend to be harmful, but because they never considered that what they're saying Could hurt somebody in the first place.

and it's strange to me that in doing all of this I have now had Multiple People walk up to me to tell me to my face that I'm wrong for speaking, that I am Somehow talking over women while deliberately going out of my way to Not step on the toes of the original point.

just by acknowledging that my feelings were hurt and that I wish people would have more consideration for my perspective I'm being spoken to as if I'm in Competition with women.

you brought up trans women to Assert that trans men are always talking over trans women. While Specifically coming onto my post to talk over me about my feelings.

why is it necessary to Insist that what I'm talking about Doesn't Matter because I'm a trans man, to insist that what I'm talking about isn't a "societal issue" to de-emphasize and delegitimize my feelings to my face?

this is my issue, Consistently people see trans men speak on their feelings and their first response is to belittle them. to minimize them and insist that they don't matter. when that simply Is Not Necessary or justified. it isn't About trans men being more or less oppressed than women, cis women trans women or any sort of woman, it's about trans men being People who deserve dignity. who deserve to be thought of.

"this is not a societal issue" and lets say it isn't, why is it a Bad Thing to ask to have my feelings considered? why does it Need to be a societal issue to justify considering the feelings of people with a different perspective? why can it not just matter because I'm a person.

That's the issue I was speaking about with that second response. I got that reply (and that person showing up in my dms) when this post had Two Notes, one of which was Me. I've come to learn that this person deliberately goes through tags relevant to trans men to talk down to the people posting.

and that's something I've experienced Quite A Bit. with nearly every post I've made about my experiences as a trans man, actually.

people see trans men Existing and Speaking About Themselves as inherently transgressive, and react as if they need to be put back into their place. and I don't understand it.

again, I want to take you in good faith, but I can't understand Why you'd see a post like this, check the notes to see if you find tags relating to trans men in it, and then come to the conclusion that this post needs to be put down for being transgressive to trans women somehow.

I imagine this response won't get much traction because I front loaded so much of it with my ~Feelings~ but it was necessary, considering my feelings were the core of the post in the first place.

that said ! there are some discussion points that I'd like to touch on.

firstly ! the first paragraph is. well, the point ! I expanded on that exactly (within the context of this post anyhow) in the thread I linked at the start of this reply.

you're right, there Are marginalized people in every group. which is Exactly The Point. there is no Type Of Person that's free game to make fun of and put down with no nuance that Won't affect marginalized people.

my point is that we Shouldn't try to designate a group of people that we're allowed to hurt. this isn't just about the issue we're speaking about at all, but the overall shape that fandom and discourse and the internet as a whole has taken.

people Like to try to find groups of people that "deserve" to be hurt and then Use the fact that they "deserve" it to justify whatever it is they do. it happens with petty fandom bullying and it happens with exclusion in queer spaces.

with the exception of the people who voluntarily group themselves together based on their harmful beliefs, there Is No Group Of People who are Inherently justified to hurt. there are people who are more or less likely to have specific experiences (a white person isn't likely to have experienced racism), but there is no class of people that you can deliberately refuse to show compassion because you don't think they Deserve it.

which circles back to what I was saying earlier. All People should inherently be deserving of compassion. and that means listening to and considering their perspective and feelings. you don't have to think that everyone is Right, there are people who just have fundamental beliefs that don't align with yours, but there should be no group of people that you refuse to listen to or take seriously Because of the kind of person that they are.

next, I want to address the second paragraph.

for this one, I'd actually like to link another post of mine that expands on a point that I'm going to make here [Link]

again, nobody Has to read it, but it might help explain my perspective.

what I'm taking from what you've written, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that You're frustrated because you feel that trans men are centered in trans discussions online. so it's frustrating, in turn, to see a trans man insist that his voice hasn't been adequately considered.

and here's the thing.

I believe you. there Are trans men who speak over trans women, there Are trans men who belittle trans women and treat them as if they're lesser, as if they're bigots, as if they're oppressors.

but I am Also correct. there are trans women who speak over trans men, there are trans women who belittle trans men and treat them as if they're lesser, as if they're bigots, as if they're oppressors.

you're Right that your experience has happened, It Has. you're Wrong in thinking that your experience is the universal one.

in fact, this isn't an issue of trans men vs trans women At All. the person I've screenshot in my followup Is A Trans Man. the Majority Of People who have spoken down to me and belittled me for talking about my experiences as a trans man Haven't Been trans women (they've been other trans men and cis people, for the most part).

the disconnect here is that Every Single Kind Of Trans Person has been belittled within the queer community. from other trans people, from cis people who think they're speaking for other trans people, from bigots who don't realize they're transphobic, from bigots who Revel in it.

there is no group of trans people who Aren't being talked down to, who Aren't being belittled, who Aren't being openly attacked. and the same is true for Any marginalized group within the queer community, any marginalized group At All.

it's ridiculous from My perspective to have had, Universally, every single post I've ever made talking about my experiences as a trans person for the last Ten Years belittled and talked down to (and sometimes actively harassed over) Because Of The Kind Of Trans Person That I Am. and then be told that I'm Privileged within this group that I've experienced near relentless negativity within.

people treat trans women and trans men like they're opposites on a scale, and if one thing is true for trans men then it Can't be true for trans women and vice versa. but that just Isn't True.

trans women are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are trans women, trans men are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are trans men, nonbinary people are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are nonbinary.

all of these experiences are true at the same time, none of them detract from the other. and All individuals within these groups deserve the space to talk about those experiences without being held in Comparison To other groups as a whole.

trans men are not the opposite of trans women, trans men speaking about their experiences implies Nothing about the experiences of trans women as long as nothing is Stated about said experiences.

and Generally Speaking I find that assumptions about other groups of trans people not sharing an experience with you is just wrong. which is Exactly why individuals talking about their experiences, even if those experiences are Statistical Outliers are important!

why go out of your way to deny solidarity to people who share experiences with you in favor of isolating them. it makes no sense to me. it's not a Bad thing to share with people who otherwise have experiences that you don't. (note, this point is more general, rather than necessarily being about you specifically. I don't know you and I don't want to make assumptions about you, but it's related to the subject matter I'm speaking about).

also, if I'm being honest. I find the point that trans men are oppressed elsewhere but Aren't oppressed in trans spaces as like, a point Against the idea that I as a trans man feel unseen to be very very silly.

I live my life in the real world. I had somebody walk up to me today and ask me if there was something wrong with me because I'm a visibly feminine person who is bald. my grandpa asked me if I was girl again because my hair was past my ears a few weeks ago. transphobia is Real in my day to day life in the real world.

moreover, random people on the internet aren't always guaranteed to be trans or trans inclusive in the first place. even disregarding everything about trans experiences within the queer community, how is it appropriate to tell a trans person that they're Wrong for wanting more people to consider the perspective of trans people. Because Other Trans People Already Consider That Perspective.

again, there's this feeling of Competitiveness that doesn't make any sense once you examine it. like an individual needs to be The Most Oppressed before they're allowed to speak on something. which isn't healthy in the first place, but also doesn't work when we're talking on an Individual Level.

I don't want to throw around "oppression points" because that's just not fair, but there's like. this Assumption that everyone within specific groups can be categorized in tiers of oppression, as if labels can dictate experiences. when that's just not how real people Work.

I find it really difficult to be consistently cut out of conversations about misogyny, to be propped up as benefiting from Male Privilege, when my life was ruined from sexual abuse before I knew what a Gender Identity was.

I don't want to get into it but like. odds are I'm never going to hold down a normal job, I do my best to contribute to the house hold that I'm in but I'm completely dependent on other people. and part of that is due to other factors (disability, neurodivergency, etc) but a big part of it For Me is undeniably the trauma that changed the way my brain functioned forever.

I'm Not transitioned, and it's very unlikely that I will be for many Many years to come. and even then, I'm very much so not gender conforming (whether I'm a gnc trans man or an aligned nonbinary person or genderqueer or bigender changes on which way the wind is blowing).

but even if I Did. even if I transitioned to the point of passing and chose to present as gender conforming and magically got on my feet and moved somewhere where nobody knew I was trans, I would still carry the violence that someone committed because I was a little girl once. my life Before all of that would still be with me, it would still weigh on me and Affect me.

and I'm Not saying this to present this experience as a Comparison. I'm not saying this to say that other people Haven't experienced something like this (they have, an unfortunate amount of people have), and I'm not saying this to say that You haven't (I don't know that, I couldn't know that).

but I Am saying this because it's Frustrating. it's Frustrating to be told over and over and over again that I don't have a perspective that's worth talking about. that I don't have Experiences that are worth talking about. that I am Privileged. that I couldn't Understand what it's like to experience misogyny. that people like me Don't experience violence. that people like me are identical to cis men once we Look a specific way (and it's assumed, of course, that we will eventually).

I have never seen an experience like mine in mainstream media, but it's taken for granted that I'm over represented and Boring. because being a man seems to cancel out everything else for some people. because "man" is presented without nuance as this homogeneous black and white Idea rather than a collection of People.

I think if I were ever allowed to transition, which I can't see happening within this decade just like it didn't within the last, I might consider myself some form of transfem. I like the idea of being seen as masculine And feminine. of the deep voice and facial hair, the square jaw, paired with breasts and pretty lips and pretty hair and pretty clothes.

but people look at me like that now, in those clothes, in hair longer than my ears, and they see a cis woman. they see something I'm not. so I shave my head and I admire the pretty things about myself behind closed doors.

I consider this a male experience, whatever I may be in a theoretical future I am also a trans man. and I have never seen this in media in my life. I've never Seen Myself.

and so it hurts to see it insisted that I'm the default. that it's not Worth considering that my experience may be one that Should be told. because people don't Think about people like me.

and most of the time they don't Mean anything by it. but it doesn't matter what they Mean if I'm not allowed to speak out about it myself. if my feelings, my experiences, my identity and life is assumed to not be worth speaking about.

what does it mean to be privileged among the marginalized? to be told that you don't Need to speak, that you Shouldn't Speak, that your speaking is harmful somehow because you don't have it Bad Enough to deserve it.

I made this post because I'm frustrated, and that's still true. I don't blame you and I don't blame the person who made the original post, and I really don't blame individuals in the first place. because it's not individual people, individuals are all just like me. people desperately reaching out for understanding and acceptance and support.

but for the atmosphere as a Whole to change we need to be willing to let people speak because they are people. because they have value by being people.

I'm not blaming the op of the original post, or trying to imply anything about them as a person. and I don't want to single out this post in particular, because the issue is an broadly reaching trend rather than any one individual happening to write a post in five minutes one time.

but I really Really wish we'd stop and think if it's a good idea to say "girls turning into boys makes them inherently less interesting" on the transgender website

picking a privileged group to be the butt of a joke because it's lighthearted when nobody's actually getting hurt by doing so Only Works when everyone within that group is actually privileged. making jokes about how men are lesser than doesn't Actually affect the people who are actually within power, but Does chip away at the confidence and comfort of marginalized men who are In these communities to be exposed to it.

and the issue isn't about any one joke or poorly worded discussion in particular, but it's difficult to articulate why it can feel so alienating and unsafe to have things like this be so common within my communities without sounding ridiculous or risk being made fun of for not being able to take a joke. because the framing of implied privilege makes it easy to twist those feelings alienation into the entitlement that's assumed with men taking issue with being the butt Of a joke.

I simply think "this type of person is inherently lesser than" should be reexamined and thrown out as a talking point, even in a lighthearted context. because there will always be vulnerable people within those groups who already Hear that they are lesser than for existing