#i thought maybe bc it made such an impact on me i'm remembering it as a bigger part of the essay than it is

[callixton]

i especially like that david tennant got the 57 academics just punched the air line w shakespeare bc i know abt the longass romeo essay he wrote in 2005ish and the not insignificant part of it about mercutio's unrequited crush on romeo

[luveline]

Ok Derek angst what about a non-bau gf getting jealous of his flirting with Garcia? Bc ngl if my bf did that with a girl who I hadn’t met I would be super upset and then May be his gf meets Garcia and realizes she’s a girls girl and super sweet? Idk u can take it any direction

ty for your request ♡ fem!reader

You don't want anything to do with Penelope Garcia. Honestly, you wouldn't ever meet her if you had your way, but you're level-headed enough to know that she's important to Derek. Integral to his life. It's a miracle you put off meeting her as long as you had. 

At first, you genuinely thought she was Derek's mom. He always ended calls with, "Love you, mama." It was only a few weeks ago when he shook things up to say, "I love you, babygirl," did you look up from the book on your thigh to ask who it was.

"Penelope," he'd said, like he was confused. "Who'd you think?" 

You shrugged noncommittal, earning yourself a hair pet and a kiss. You lay awake that night wondering if you got it wrong. You'd heard a hundred stories about her and felt reluctantly fond, but now? Your boyfriend calls other girls pet names, what do you do about that? What can you? 

You ignored it. And now you have to meet her. 

She doesn't seem as nefarious as you've imagined her, springing from her seat at the cafe table to hug you. "Hi! Oh my god hi! I can't believe I'm finally meeting you, I've never been this happy in my life! You're so pretty!" 

You wince at her arms thrown over your shoulders but reciprocate. You aren't a total bitch.

"Thank you," you say. She smells like coffee creamer and hairspray. She pulls away to beam at you, her lips painted a shiny, pretty red. "It's nice to meet you. Derek has nothing but good things to say about you."

It sounds awfully formal, like you're opening a bank account with a teller who has a shared acquaintance. Derek gives you a look. You give him a look back, mutual confusion. She may be his best friend, but you don't know her (and what you do know you're jealous of, so). 

Derek takes your hand despite your off behaviour to show you off with pride, his teeth peeking from behind his lips milky white. "My two favourite girls had to meet eventually."

"I thought I'd be more jealous about coming second," Penelope says, eyes twinkling, "but I've never seen Derek so happy." Her voice turns scratchy like stretched linen. "He deserves the best, you know? And it's clear you're it. He's smitten."

"Maybe don't give up all my secrets, sweetheart," he says. 

Seeing them together chills your raging envy. There's a lot of love there, clearly, but the sexual tension you pictured is fictional. "Girl code, my love,'' Penelope says with a shrug. She winks at you. 

Insecurity nags at your skin like condensation on a cold window, "You've known Derek for nearly six years? Have you guys always been this close?" 

"Well, mister muscles here didn't bother remembering my name for the first couple of weeks that we worked together, so he deferred to pet names. And, you know, he's him," —Penelope gestures to him as if to say, behold, drawing a startled laugh from you— "and I'm me, so. I didn't want him to stop." 

"Hey, now." 

Penelope shakes her head at you. "He always does this." 

"If 'this' is stopping you from talking bad on yourself, babygirl, then yeah. I'll always do it." 

You feel clarity break, the sweet taste of relief and the muggier lick of shame. Derek and Penelope have a special friendship. That you knew before meeting her. She's made a huge, irreplaceable impact on his life, and Derek has clearly done the same. They aren't playing work husband and wife —there are reasons for their affections that go well beyond the surface flirtation. 

"I get it. Nobody ever called me anything so nice as Derek calls me," you confide. Derek's eyebrows leap up. You've never told him this; you're telling Penelope as a sort of apology, though she can't know that. "I never got asked out growing up. When he asked me on a date I thought he was trying to win a bet." 

Penelope's expression flickers with relief. There and gone, quickly replaced by sympathy. "Are you kidding? You're so pretty, Derek's lucky he got to you before someone else did." 

Derek kisses your cheek. His lips linger against the apple of it, your joined hands pulled instinctively to his firm torso. You might be imagining it, but Derek seems to know everything, so he probably knows the hill you've just climbed in your head. "Damn straight I'm lucky. I'm surrounded by beautiful, genius women. This is paradise for the modern man." 

You flush at his touch and praise. Penelope makes a pleased squeak. "Ooh, you guys are cute! You need to let me take a photo. This'll make a great printout for your wedding."

"Penelope." 

[f1-stuff]

hello mal. would you share your favourite charlos moments as teammates? i would love to know what you really think is the best

Hello! I was putting this off bc it was causing me much distress just thinking about which moments I would choose, but here we are! You didn't specify how many so I narrowed it down to my all-time top 10, with a few honorable mentions.

You did specify 'as teammates', so I'm gonna leave out the infamous singapore 2018 pool, tho it is an all-time charlos moment to be sure... The order is honestly kind of random because I found it really hard to rank them (don't ask a mother to choose her favorite child!)

10. Cookie decorating!! (2022) - I love this video so much (which is why I made a whole charlos flirting video essay about it). It's just chock-full of classic ways the two of them interact and joke around (Charles trying to blindfold Carlos for him, constantly trying to steal things out of his hands, both whistling/humming the same song at different points, touching constantly...). And why were they sitting like this?? (we know why) Anyway, I don't think we talk about it enough.

9. Monza Ferrari battle (2023) - I simultaneously love and hate this moment asfghdka which is maybe why it's down so low on the list. It's the most adrenaline and anxiety I've ever had watching F1 (I was literally running circles around my living room, yelling at the TV). But I think it also just exemplifies how competitive the two of them are, how hard they race each other without crashing. Like, their rivalry is core characterization for them, therefore it had to be on the list!!

(their tyres are literally kissing) ((this was foreplay for them))

8. Bahrain 1-2 (2022) - A classic!! Their first double podium and 1-2 as teammates! Their hug in parc ferme!! Carlos trying to pour wine into Charles' mouth on the podium!!! They were so giddy and happy, and it felt like the start of an incredible year...(we all know how it really turned out 🥴) This could maybe be higher on the list, but it feels so long ago now that I think I'd need to rewatch the race to draw back up those emotions again.

7. 'Lord Perceval' is coined (2021) - This whole moment is so cute, and it became pretty iconic since the team would go on to use the nickname a lot, and it spread throughout the fandom. It's sort of funny bc they were clearly joking around, but it caught on. They became the Smooth Operator and Lord Perceval, and I think that's beautiful.

6. Monaco hug (2024) - It was actually harder than I thought to choose between this one and the Monza '24 one. They both feature Carlos being super happy for a Charles win, his patented charles hair grab, as well as charlos cradling each other heart-to-heart, cheek-to-cheek. ❤️ I went with Monaco bc it came first in the year so had a greater impact on me, and bc Charles finally broke the Monaco curse.

5. Carlos' birthday surprise (2022) - Set the standard for Charlos birthday shenanigans. Charles complaining about his legs cramping in the cupboard LOL. I just love how happy Carlos looked in all those clips... Also, they were on their honeymoon that weekend or something, because there was also the 'I know you very well' hilarious lissie mackintosh vid and the 'you're doing great love'.

4. The bracelet video (2023) - Just...iconic. Charles asking Carlos for help with his bracelet and Carlos calling him 'darling,' asking for a kiss afterward. They've never been more married.

3. THE tiktok (2022) - This might be too high on the list tbh, but for the sheer shock value of waking up to it that day and the mania it caused in the charlos community, it's a hard one to beat. 😂

2. C² song challenge in Fiorano (2021) - this one gets the place of honor as #2 bc it's charlos' favorite moment together (along with Bahrain '22). They've both mentioned a few times that they fondly remember that day, and how much they laughed. It's also at the very beginning of their partnership, and it shows how immediately they acted like giddy besties.

1. Chili plushie (2024) - Okay. I guess?? This is my all-time favorite charlos moment??? 🥺 It was my favorite of 2024, so it could be recency bias. But something about it being the start of their bittersweet end...Carlos gifting him the chili...'so you remember me for the rest of your life'...Charles in his denial era...oof. I just really love these two, and this moment made me emotional about their years of friendship, rivalry, and shenanigans soon coming to an end.

This was so hard!!! But alas, I forced myself to narrow it down, and also to try and represent all of the years of their partnership, in different scenarios (racing/non-racing). Obviously, there are so many other amazing moments, so I'll consider it a blessing that we are so spoiled for choice as charlos fans ❤️

Honorable mentions (that I struggled not to include):

Drivers' parade car with swapped names

'Jazz'

Mexico balls grab

Blindfolded sim racing bdsm hair-pulling !!

Train sandwich share

Miami start-stop challenge

'jamon iconico'

Jenga challenge (my first ever f1 gifset!!)

Charles snoozing next to Carlos during football

Goggle games

'Take off your clothes, Carlos'...

There's just so many 😌

[oh-no-its-bird]

Mayhaps I want to ask about "genderfuck"

From this ask meme

Oh this is a fun one actually, like, in my heart. It's also an Ichigo one, full disclaimer, so

SUMMARY // Hatake Ichigo and the trials and tribulations of being a shinobi girl hitting puberty, who just so happened to have been born a boy. --- "Maybe I should just castrate myself." Ichigo sniffled. "Ichigo," Her mother sighed, still patient. "You are not allowed to try and castrate yourself till at least 20." "But it'll be too late by then!" She wailed.

I think I might have already posted this one snippet of it bc I remember thinking it was funny, but oh well Ill just post it anyways if that is the case.

But like, eunuch Hikaku mention:

"I bet Hikaku-sama would know how to castrate someone." Ichigo mumbled, kicking at the floor dejectedly, and her mother paused. "Why in the world would Uchiha Hikaku know how to safely castrate someone?" Ichigo stared at her mother blankly, who stared back with an equally confused expression. "Um, cuz he's a eunuch, right?" "Excuse me?" Ichigo frowned. "He had to chop of his own thing, for some mission in the Daimyo's court or something, right? Before he became clan heir?" "Where did you hear that?" "The twins told me!" Ichigo scowled, oddly miffed by her mother's doubt. "And you believed them?" Ichigo planted her fists on her hips. "Well when I asked Kagami, he believed it too! And every time after that when I mentioned it to people, no one argued!" "Hatake Ichigo," her mother began, setting down her knife with a soft clack onto the cutting board. Ichigo froze at her mothers dangerously level tone. "Have you been going around telling people that the Uchiha clan heir is a eunuch." "Um." Was all she could manage, finally realizing she may have messed up. Just a bit.

Anyways I thought it'd be fun to tackle being trans specifically set in early konoha, and all take a fun little peek at all the world building aspects I could possibly dig into with it!

I have an older post still buried in my drafts about my takes on how it's interesting to think ab how Konoha developing as a village might have impacted the trans experience of its shinobi and civillians— specifically from the standpoint of paperwork.

Thinking something along the lines of, earlier konoha had more unregistered home births and messy paperwork that also made it very easy to go in and change details of by simply going to an office and saying "Hey btw my mom filled out this form wrong when I was born. I'm a girl just so u know." And you'll just kinda get a shrug and a "oh ok cool, I'll change that then"

Vs more modern Konoha where you might get some more complicated loops to jump through and extra paperwork stating specifically that you are trans and would like to Officially Request (tm) a change in the presenting gender listed on your file and also would you like to sign up for our hormone therapy or any gender affirming surgery?

Just like. Thinking ab the little things and progression and changes through time (none specifically good or bad) at how things are done depending on the state of the village. Fun to think about

Sorry anyways:

For this oneshot, if I ever continue it, I also would have fun in playing with how different clans and groups see gender.

Like, Ichigo goes to the Orochi who are rather infamously gender apathetic and kinda just do their own thing as part of their clan culture.

The Shiranui make a cameo with their concepts of how gender can be used as a weapon and presenting yourself certain ways is just another tool in the box to play with for a shinobi

The Inuzuka come in w their matriarchal clan to talk ab the concept of womanhood or smthn quirky like that, I'm not too sure yet but I think it'd be neat if they were there

Just. Having fun exploring the ways different clans and their cultures view and interact with gender. Some clans are welcome to the concept of trans people, some clans legit just don't care, some clans have trans ideas built into their identity, others might think it a bit strange but ultimately not their buisness, etc.

Then also the differences between how shinobi clans treat gender and transness vs how civilians treat it (w the shinobi caring a whole lot less ab it all. Probably bc they have other things to worry about)

Early Konoha is already so ripe w potential as a melting pot of cultures meeting for the first time ever ,,, I wanna play with it.

I will say tho going into it and still now, I kinda just plan on steering clear of transphobia— if it were to appear it'd be in flashes and get a "damn, that's crazy. Anyways." Reaction from Ichigo as she goes back to asking Tobirama if he has a cure for her growing a beard

I like playing things as straight as possible and really leaning hard into "ok but what are ALL the reactions I can get out of this and how do I play with them" but I kinda just. Don't wanna write that. This'd be a fun, silly comedy about a ninja girl learning ab shinobi clan history and gender culture and I will indulge myself on that

ANYWAYS ! thank u for playing the ask game w me Domoz, sorry I dive bombed u w Ichigo for ur reply rip

[shakingparadigm]

The thing to me is that i dont know what to expect anymore. After round 3 everyone first conclusion was probably that ivan would die for(or bcs) Till so i was waiting for something to subvert my expectations but no they played it straight.

“Luka vs Till is no competition”” They wouldnt do romh twice” now im not so sure.

Also I see the doomed toxic yaoi but I cant with how good my boys look 😭 Till in black or jacked + fingerless gloves, mullet ,maybe little bangs, ivan in white full coat , slicked back hair. They look so good.

Ivan's hair being slicked back was the only correct answer after we saw Till's long hair down. He looks so damn good actually. I know he died but at least he served one last immaculate outfit before eating shit.

Dude. I was the exact same. Ivan dying in this way was genuinely the most predicted outcome of ROUND 6, so I thought... surely it couldn't be so easy... VIVINOS must have another card up their sleeve! Yeah! The card up their sleeve was the same card they were fucking holding in their hand already because they PLAYED IT STRAIGHT. I laughed myself silly after watching the video because it just made sense. We expected something more complicated, more devastating, more drawn out than Ivan just straight up dying this round. VIVINOS set up the possibility of a jailbreak and we ended up getting too comfortable. Just because Mizi was successfully rescued doesn't mean lightning will strike twice. Ivan dying was a massive blow, yes, but an underrated frame that holds the same amount of devastation is the shot of Hyuna and Mizi hiding, Hyuna bleeding from the side. They were there. They tried to save them and they couldn't make it. They failed. And they don't even know that they failed yet because Hyuna was shot. If they played Ivan's death straight, they certainly subverted expectations with Mizi and Hyuna's jailbreak. They weren't even a part of the main video. They didn't even make it to the stage itself. And honestly, that's realistic. Of course things end up going wrong, that's just how it is. The hope for a jailbreak made the pain twice as impactful when Ivan starts getting shot. There's a sense of hopelessness watching it. They saved Mizi before her execution, surely they can do the same now, right? Where are they? We really got too comfortable with the idea of a rebellion rescue, we failed to remember that in the end, they're only human.

Well, now we're at Till vs Luka. Can't say I'm shocked. I'm just gonna sit back and see how everything unfolds from here. I'll try not to make castles out of playing cards next time.

[aspd-culture]

I wish I had the stereotypical aspd that empaths talk about. The calculative and well groomed businessman who’s incredibly independent even at the cost of other people.

I’m honestly a useless loser. I don’t do anything for anybody yet am livid when they don’t do something for me, 80% of the time I forget or don’t do the tasks I’ve been asked to even if it’s the simplest thing. I pass it off to other people. I get threatened by my parents constantly, called useless and a lazy fuck. I’m not motivated for anything, not employed and the thought of it makes me want to rip my skin off or rip their faces off whenever they mention it. It feels like another extension of control. Everything feels like an extension of control and an excuse to assume power over me.

People in my life are moving ahead of me no problem and I’m still stuck on my ass debating whether to break everything in my parents house when they use my lack of employment and symptoms to make fun of me. My friends talk about it like it’s just so simple to suck it up and march forward and I loathe them for it because they don’t understand.

Maybe this is just me being a whiny brat or a bad person

No, this is you struggling with being in a toxic environment - one that will continue to make you feel like this for as long as your parents act that way towards you. It's not possible to heal and recover and learn to process your symptoms and change your behavior in a toxic situation like that. It's likely keeping you in survival mode.

Truly I think in that situation the best way to get yourself to do the things you would need to do to leave the toxic situation is out of spite. Spite can do a lot for pwASPD when we harness it to use for good, since our PD is so reactive to it. If you think to yourself as though you're talking to them "ha, yeah okay sure I'm getting a job just like you wanted right? Except I'm doing it to get the hell away from you", you might find yourself more able to get to do those things. It's not guaranteed to work, but it's something that might help.

And, if it makes you feel any better, prosocials don't actually like us in that stereotype either AND generally ppl who fit that stereotype are in some other way coping destructively. No one who actually has ASPD is managing to not struggle at all with it bc a disorder can only be diagnosed if it significantly and negatively impacts your life. It's important to remember the stereotypes of this demonized disorder are made out to be supervillains - hyper capable beings who choose to be monsters - bc otherwise the prosocials have to admit that they're bullying people who are hurt and wish we could stop dealing with our symptoms just as much as they wish we didn't have them if not more. It's not fun for them anymore if they think about our actual struggles with ASPD, so they try and make it sound like we're having the time of our lives when none of us do. I promise you're far from alone.

It's also worth noting that if you find yourself entirely unable to work without your mental health destructing, that that's called a disability and there are things you can do to either get accommodations or potentially payment for it bc unlike your parents by the sounds of it, the government understands that mental health is a valid reason one might not be able to work.

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

Plain text below the cut:

No, this is you struggling with being in a toxic environment - one that will continue to make you feel like this for as long as your parents act that way towards you. It's not possible to heal and recover and learn to process your symptoms and change your behavior in a toxic situation like that. It's likely keeping you in survival mode.

Truly I think in that situation the best way to get yourself to do the things you would need to do to leave the toxic situation is out of spite. Spite can do a lot for pwASPD when we harness it to use for good, since our PD is so reactive to it. If you think to yourself as though you're talking to them "ha, yeah okay sure I'm getting a job just like you wanted right? Except I'm doing it to get the hell away from you", you might find yourself more able to get to do those things. It's not guaranteed to work, but it's something that might help.

And, if it makes you feel any better, prosocials don't actually like us in that stereotype either AND generally ppl who fit that stereotype are in some other way coping destructively. No one who actually has ASPD is managing to not struggle at all with it bc a disorder can only be diagnosed if it significantly and negatively impacts your life. It's important to remember the stereotypes of this demonized disorder are made out to be supervillains - hyper capable beings who choose to be monsters - bc otherwise the prosocials have to admit that they're bullying people who are hurt and wish we could stop dealing with our symptoms just as much as they wish we didn't have them if not more. It's not fun for them anymore if they think about our actual struggles with ASPD, so they try and make it sound like we're having the time of our lives when none of us do. I promise you're far from alone.

It's also worth noting that if you find yourself entirely unable to work without your mental health destructing, that that's called a disability and there are things you can do to either get accommodations or potentially payment for it bc unlike your parents by the sounds of it, the government understands that mental health is a valid reason one might not be able to work.

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This one is so long I'm putting most of it under a readmore to save your dash

Anonymous asked:

AITA for stabbing a kid?

(this is less Am I The Asshole and more Was I The Asshole, bc it's really just a story from high school that I - as an adult in my mid-20s - was remembering recently and thought could be fun to toss to The People in as objective of a form as I can. anyways, all names are 100% made up to replace actual names, and everybody involved ends the story safe and alive)

I (16ish F then, 20s NB now) was trying to prep for an upcoming speech and debate tournament (yes, I was insufferable as a teen) with a group of other students in our debate coach's classroom. specifically, I was working with a younger student, Tammy (14ish F then), on understanding this specific type of debate (LD for my fellow insufferable teens out there) and brainstorming with her on some of the main components of her own case. as we were trying to work, another student, Tony (15ish M then), kept butting in to pester Tammy, making it impossible for Tammy or me to focus. in hindsight, I'm like 74% sure Tony had a bit of a crush on Tammy in that moment and expressed that feeling by being an annoying little shit towards her (as teens often do). that was at least how I would characterize the general vibe of Tony's actions and how he seemed to really need Tammy to be paying total attention to him. from my perspective and based on my basically decade-long memory at this point, Tammy (maybe?) asked him to leave her alone. she at least seemed frustrated and annoyed with him, or just generally flustered in a way I read uncomfortable. (take all this with a grain of salt here bc, regardless of how Tammy really felt, I was for sure super annoyed and that fact would almost certainly impact my interpretation and memory of the situation.)

idk if any teen girls out there (former, current, or future) have tried to teach or learn while a teen boy is flirt-bugging you or the person you're with, but it got old real fast for me. so, almost immediately, I asked Tony to knock it off so me and Tammy could work. he refused and kept bugging her. I continued to tell him to quit and he continued to ignore me, and this went on for a while. so, as one does, I figured it was time to threaten him with physical violence. I told him that if he didn't back off and let Tammy work, that I would stab him.

now, to give a bit of context for what the fuck I was thinking in that moment, I had learned a particular lesson earlier in my time as a supposed teenage girl dealing with supposed teenage boys in the 2000s-2010s: don't make threats you aren't willing to follow through on. so when I threatened to stab him, I 100% meant it. to provide a tad more context, I did also have a bit of a casually violent streak in high school for this reason (but maybe those stories are for a different AITA submission at another time, but they were all in a similar vein as this one in terms of cause and severity). also, does it help or hurt to add this was in a rural public high school in Texas? either way. to be fair to Tony, that's still undoubtedly a deeply unhinged and disproportionate thing to actually do, but would be a semi-common hyperbolic empty threat to make as a teen to another teen.

as you can assume based on the title here, Tony did not quit despite these threats. so, true to my word, after us arguing back and forth for a bit more, I stabbed him in the arm with the pen I was holding. he was obviously upset (to be clear, it did hurt him but did not injure him to the best of my knowledge beyond leaving a light mark for a bit of time that afternoon*) and he complained about having been stabbed. I said I warned him repeatedly that I would stab him before I actually did, to which he replied that that was an insane thing to actually do (fair enough, ya know?). the teacher was in the room, but if she saw any of this she ignored it. tbh, I don't see how she could have not noticed a kid loudly complaining about having been stabbed by another kid. so, I assume she chose to ignore it, possibly bc I was a bit of a teacher's pet (ie. president of the speech and debate team she was the coach of (I told you I was insufferable)). actually, now that I think about it, that was not the only time I stabbed another kid in her classroom in almost identical circumstances... maybe we are both TA....

anyways, in conclusion:

reasons I think I'm NTA: he was being an annoying dick to the friend I was mentoring at the time, and I did warn him that I'd stab him if he didn't quit being an annoying dick several times before actually following through (and it was only with pen and did no serious harm, but I think it does still count as assault regardless (?) and also I love the classic AITA storytelling technique of Being Dramatic, so feel free to ignore this point and *any other times I brought up that he was ultimately okay when considering how you wanna vote).

reasons I think I'm TA: I mean... I fuckin' stabbed a kid just bc he was being annoying and I fully got away with it bc the teacher liked me, plus I was a repeat offender of doing lowkey violence like this in response to other kids being Kinda Annoying and Shitty™. pestering other people on purpose bc you possibly have a crush on them is a very normal thing for a teen to do. stabbing another teen with a writing utensil just bc they did so though?... perhaps not.

(also, as an endnote: just to be clear, I do not stab teens at all in any context whatsoever since growing up. out of AITA-writing-character here, I think I was a kid who was just sick of guys around me crossing boundaries and dealt with that in a myriad of very unhealthy ways that were also informed by my general redneck upbringing that - understandably or not - sometimes saw some violence as a valid way to assert personal boundaries if it seemed they weren't being respected. that doesn't make it okay and is not at all a defense against being TA in this story, just trying to assure folks that regardless of whether you think I was TA I am now also a somewhat well adjusted adult who at least channels their overwhelming fury into organizing/activism stuff and mutual aid rather than stabbing annoying teenagers. while this isn't some stressful conflict that I feel torn up about or anything even close to that, I am interested to see what folks think, so thanks for reading if the mod(s) found all this worthy of posting for y'all!)

What are these acronyms?

[moon932]

I feel like Vautrin as a character gets passed by a lot in the fandom, which is a shame because he is such an interesting part of Neuvillette's past in Fontaine. And in my (very humble) opinion, I feel like out of all the characters he probably had the biggest impact on Neuvillete.

(more thoughts under the cut)

First thing that stands out to me with him is that he's the only other human character that is mentioned to have been close to Neuvillette. And most likely the first human, outside of Furina (which she both does and doesn't count? idk it weird), he would've met and grown close to when he came to Fontaine ~400 years ago. And this is interesting to me because we know how this story ends and I wonder if he is partially the reason, or maybe he just reinforced the idea, that Neuvillette abstains from forming close relationships?

Think about it, Neuvillette and Vautrin worked closely for years. Hoyo likes to be vague with their timelines so idk how long they would have been working together, but it must've been substantial for Neuvillette (who is an immortal being, so time probably feels different to him) to remember and reminisce about. We're both shown and told that they both had great respect for each other. Also one of the biggest things that stick out to me with the trial part of the story quest, is the noticable emotions in Neuvillette's voice as he juries over the trial. Which yes we know that trials make him emotional which usually manifests in the rain, but this is the first and only time (I think? pls correct me if I'm wrong on this) that it's noticeable in his voice.

The last big thing I think about isn’t the trial itself necessarily, but the way Neuvillette talks about it in the fortress with Wriothesley. I think this is more specific for the english dub bc Ray Chase, instead of saying “And I believed he had every right to feel that way.” he changes it into present tense: “I believe he had every right to feel that way.” Ok this one may be a bit of a stretch because they essentially mean and get across the same thing, but it’s so interesting that it’s changed to present tense. And honestly? I think it works better with the present tense. Because Neuvillette doesn’t condemn Vautrin for the emotions he felt, (which wild theory but maybe he was channeling his emotions towards those he killed and not necessarily towards Neuvillette? so out there ik) if anything Neuvillette seems more then ok to readily accept them and the fact that they are (supposedly) directed at him.

Some other minor stuff that always makes my brain start to whir is that while the parallel were drawn between Vautrin and Carole / Traveller and Paimon in the quest, I do think it’s more fitting to say Wriothesley and Sigewinne are a more accurate parallel. Is this a slight critique on main character privilege? Yes.

If you’re wondering why I’m fixated on this it’s because Neuvillette is a character, that while his interpersonal relationships are sparse, they’re usually a lot more complex and often deeper under the surface. Neuvillette and the melusines are some dynamics that I wished Hoyo explored more often because I would love to know how to the melusines view Neuvillette more in depth. (If Sigewinne’s voice lines or character stories touch on this please let me know! I’d love to read them.) I have barely even touched on Neuvillette and Furina because their relationship is such a complex mix of trust and fear and pain and love. Not to mention Neuvillette and Wriothesley “The words unspoken are the flower.” Okay sir, keep your secrets I see how it is.

Do I think that Neuvillette always had the idea that the Chief Justice must remain impartial in any circumstances running through his head when he first took position in Fontaine? Yes, but I do think that the trial with Vautrin may have exacerbated this thought and made it more of a lifestyle type thing. Or maybe Neuvillette believes all his relationships from then on may be set in a perpetual cycle of grief and loss because surely nothing will out live the sovereign of water, the original god of life itself?

[lambilegs]

The religious part is what really resonates with me and how it seems that Lee has religious trauma because I grew Christian and in the church and I hated who I was and my sexuality for years because of it so i feel like I can relate to Lee in that way even if they never said her sexuality - 😼

I'm so sorry you went through that :( I totally understand, some religious institutions can be so pushy and harsh about what is and isn't sin, and can cause so much fear and self-loathing in people. I hope you feel more at ease and accepting about yourself now, though ofc, I totally understand if that upbringing still has its impacts, because it can be hard to fully remove oneself from it. I was raised muslim, and yeah, like, I remember having thoughts about if this was a sin or if that was the "right" way to do something, and I'd get random spikes of anxiety bc of all I had been taught about sinning and what that means for people. so, I totally understand, and I'm so sorry you dealt with that :( it can feel so frustrating sometimes, because, you know, in abrahamic religions, there's such a strong idea of god having created everyone with an intent and purpose, and in his reflection. but, then people will turn around and be so cruel to queer folk, like as though they're not also people who their god made? anyways, yeah, I can go so into this sm more but I will refrain KDJSKDJS

and yeah, I totally agree. she definitely seems to have a strained relationship with religion. it's interesting, because I feel like the film does sort of hint that to some degree, she does believe in supernatural stuff, like when she tells carter that sometimes, dolls are used for magic, so maybe longlegs is doing that. but, she seems to not really believe much in, like, organized religion? she seems to take the satanic elements of longlegs' crimes at face-value, and doesn't seem to believe strongly in what her mom says about hell and the devil. but idk, what do you think? :o bc she does also keep a bible at home, but I interpreted that as her keeping it for nostalgia or bc it reminds her of her mom, though yeah, that's just my theory.

[lovesickeros]

Hello! Since this blog doesn't see much activity nowadays, I wanted to say two things: 1. How are you? You were one of the people who inspired me to dive into SAGAU in 2022 and captivated me endlessly with your writing style. Your writing immersed me in what felt like a fantasy world in the best way—rife with possibilities, danger, love, and so much more. It propelled me to new heights and made me wonder what it would be like to be more than the reader, to wield a pen and use it as the brushstroke to paint all kinds of worlds, creatures, and characters.

On that note, I'll follow with the second thing: 2. You are one of my biggest inspirations as a writer. Because of you and others, I've spent the last two years writing and creating like never before in a way I didn't think I was capable of. I have an AO3 and a Tumblr blog, mainly dedicated to posting my musings in a "stream-of-consciousness" format for narrative purposes. Because of you, I've grown—as a person, friend, and writer. Because of you, I made countless memories I'll cherish for years: sharing and building stories with my friends' group chat, roleplaying, making AUs, etc. Because of you, I did everything I thought I couldn't: I fostered my creativity and cultivated it to plant what is now a thriving garden regularly visited by my friends. It has helped us bond immensely and provided me solace in my darkest hours.

Because of you, I wrote my first book on Wattpad. I hopped onto a wild, emotional, and unforgettable rollercoaster that saw my interest in watching movies and reading literature be re-ignited for the sake of inspiration, have a taste of fandom culture via Steven Universe, Genshin Impact, Murder Drones, and several other games and shows that have undoubtedly and irreversibly changed my life. Because of you, I made OCs, I discovered YouTube movie recaps, and now I can write a pretty good summary myself!

That is to say that I'm wholly grateful to you, Eros, and everyone else who led me down the path of the writer, supported me throughout with their comments, memes, stars, and kudos, and generally showed enthusiastic interest in my work. I wouldn't be here if not for you all. I hope your ship of life continues sailing smoothly, as has mine, after years of turbulent weather and unpredictable storms that threatened to throw us overboard if I hadn't held on to others (and myself) for support.

May the new year bring you joy and prosperity, and hey, what do you know? Maybe I'll write something for SAGAU someday. The only reason I haven't taken the plunge yet is because of how inactive (for lack of a better word) the community there has become, and I don't know what I would write. Ideas, anyone?

Anyway, I've talked for long enough. Keep up the good work, Eros, and remember that in someone's (my) heart, you are still held dearly as an inspiration. Even if the golden age has long faded, we will always have our memories to keep us company: "Don't cry because it ended. Smile because it happened."

it is unfortunate that the collective sagau fandom has kind of died out, honestly. its what got me really into writing as well (which i feel like i have to mention @/nicebonescomrade for being the writer to get me to make my first sagau blog. one of the other og's and also a phenomenal writer). im glad it had such a large impact on you though!! that makes me really happy bc ive always been self conscious about my writing and writing style ngl, though i never grew out of it bc it worked for me. i can't imagine stories like books as a movie in my head like some people (literally head empty) so i lean more on actually putting more feeling and description into my work to compensate. it gets a bit wordy but it helps me write bc i do not plan anything i just start writing based on vibes.

sagau downfall was definitely inevitable (and a part of why im super inactive) but im happy with how it turned out anyway bc of how big the fandom is and how many people turned to creative hobbies bc of it. its nice to know i at least had some kind of impact myself KJHKDH i wouldnt consider myself one of the "big" sagau accounts by any means so its a bit of a surprise ngl um. looks around.

i genuinely just spend most of my time these days printing out random fics when i get the urge (once in a blue moon, 99% of which are in my draft vault), playing whatever game caught my fancy this week and playing genshin because it's still a black hole i will never escape from! honestly maybe one day ill come back to this account for real instead of sporadic posting but uhhh. probably not unless a new big au pops up again.

[dayurno]

sorryyyy for bringing some type of discourse to your inbox but I just giggle whenever anyone brings up the fact that nora soad andrews a misogynist and their only argument is the fact that he's friends with renee and dating neil who said women are the strongest ppl i know, like i don't personally think he's a misogynist, but i feel like there has to be better arguments for it😭

maybe it's bc the fandom gets on my nerves so I'm more sensitive to any attempts a defanging and making characters more palatable bc I'm not a fan of the widespread fanon versions of the characters also it's sad I feel like the fandom made some sort of progress where discussions were being had about the problems in the series and now after tsc came out it feels like we're back to where the author can do no wrong and it's hard to criticise anything

what do you think about tsc being a triology, I feel like two books can hopefully give Jeremy the depth he needs i remember you found him a bit flat as well when you read the book, I see a lot of people saying he needs to have a mean side or a traumatic past but I feel like a kind, nice character can be interesting without those things and not every kind character needs to have this secret mean side anyway, personally I groaned out loud when I found out it was a triology bc that would mean the fandom would be alive for longer and it's so crazy out of any book fandom I've ever been in for some reason the aftg fandom feels the most obnoxious maybe it's bc the books deal with heavier topics close to the heart so there's more feelings involved🤔the only book fandom who has pissed me off a comparable amount would be asoiaf but that's a whole different thing

I really do try and be happy I'm not even in the fandom anymore and I've never followed aftg twitter accounts and I don't even check the tags I just go on certain blogs but i still see things it's horrible💔like I can't believeeee we're still discussing if Kevins a coward or not and how selfish he is for leaving the nest like we've already argued about this to death on tumblr back in like 2016 now it's the same thing again💔

LOL i understand honestly so many of these discussions are repackaged wide-spread 2015 opinions which don’t reflect the original text that it’s hard to do anything except use the we have this thread every week comrade image and let it go. andrew being misogynistic is not even hard to come to terms with considering it’s not an interpretation or a headcanon it’s the author’s own words and will for the character incorporated into canon. there are things to disagree with nora sakavic for, but ultimately there is a difference between disagreeing with the author and willfully ignoring the intention with which a character was written

& i didn’t really care much for the news, i think the lack of planning and the rushed way the books are coming along are grating on both the author and the fandom, but i don’t blame her for wanting to get this done and over with. it will show more insight on jeremy hopefully, but unfortunately i already don’t care 😭 i think the route tsc took was in general uninteresting and pedestrian enough to not warrant a second thought, and i’m not particularly interested in any plotline beyond what pertains to kevin and the ravens. what surprised me really is the total lack of impact tsc had on the fandom, which is to say, i think it was so in line with the same 3-5 headcanons passed around the last 10 years that it has genuinely done nothing for anyone aside from the people who were already very invested in jean and/or jeremy. it feels like a different fandom from aftg altogether, which i’m happy about if only because it keeps us all locked in different cages, but it still baffles me to see people dedicate so much thought to a book whose characters bar jean are, as of now, the very definition of Nothing burger. all in all the answer to that question and most questions pertaining to tsc is Who cares. because literally who cares

LMFAO staying away from aftg twt is really good for you & honestly all of us. it’s still so funny to me that not even nora sakavic herself wanted to touch that mess. mentally ill white suburbanite teenage shut-in echo chamber ass fandom

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

Hi Izzy! I remember back in the day you were a big fan of Sunspring and wrote a beautiful piece discussing it and talking about AI art. Do you think any AI art has surpassed Sunspring? Have changes in the development of AI changed your perspective on it at all? Asking bc I love that essay and I’m very curious :) thx

(context for those who don't know, Sunspring is a short film made about 8 years ago that used a relatively early LLM to generate its script, which was then filmed with a real cast and crew. if you want to watch it here it is, it's about 9 minutes, i highly recommend it)

i've thought about Sunspring a lot as AI art has become such a big topic in the past year or so, and I think the pieces i wrote about it i still stand behind, though i got a few things wrong that i'll bring up when i answer the second question.

to answer the first question: i personally haven't see any AI art that has impacted me emotionally nearly as much, but i also kinda dropped off watching new movies (most of the new-to-me movies i watch are found footage horror movies, 70's porno-chic also-rans, and shot on video movies from the 90's), and i would wager that, if i could somehow experience all of the AI art that exists, there'd be something that hit me in the same way again. there's too much of it for that not to be the case, and too many genuinely creative people experimenting with it. that said, what was so beautiful about Sunspring was how imperfect the tech used to create it was. Almost all of the script makes grammatical sense, but the way it flows, the directions sentences go, the phrasing used is so strange that the friction between the failures of the tech to be truly convincing and the actors trying to bridge the gap to make it still work is what was exhilarating and moving. as the models have gotten better and better, as the rough edges smooth off, that tension so often has just faded into a bland beige unflavored oatmeal of average aggregate language. some of the phrases in Sunspring that have stuck with me the most ("I think I could have been my life", "Whatever you want to know about the presence of the story, I’m a little bit of a boy on the floor.", etc.) wouldn't be created by any of the most popular LLMs today. they're too idiosyncratic, the phrasing is too odd, the grammar almost but not quite there. the plot is surreal and associative, the structuring bizarre and dreamlike. the lines Sunspring ends on— "He looks at me, and he throws me out of his eyes. And then he says he’ll go to bed with me."— are some of my favorites in any film, and it's because they are abstract, poetic, like the computer stumbled upon a phrase so evocative that no written-by-committee script would've let it through. he looks at me, and he throws me out of his eyes. this man who is supposed to love me looks at me in a way where his love of me has gone, where i'm barely even seen as me. it's not the kind of sentence most modern LLMs, with their focus on being convincing, are designed to create.

as far as the second question, i think the biggest change in my perspective is how my belief in the technology, both good and bad, has curdled. i bought into the hype that the technology would progress to the point where screenwriting could be turned into an assembly line, and maybe after that the rest of the parts of filmmaking as well. i had hoped it would become a new collaborative process between human and technology, and i feared it would become a way for movie execs to pay people less and eliminate jobs. the first i haven't seen much of, and the second, while certainly the dream of so many boosters of the tech, has largely been a failure (though plenty, plenty of people have still lost their jobs to LLMs despite that, and as a labor issue i still think it is a very important area of focus). i was too caught up in the possibilities that i didn't bother to research who was making the tech, where the money was coming from, what growth in the sector would look like materially, etc. i still believe LLMs can be used creatively, but most likely any interesting art coming from them will emerge out of models custom-molded by artists to have some of those same rough edges i loved in the first place. i think, in terms of mainstream film, any use of AI is in service to the same bland competence the rest of the industry is mired in, a determination to make products for everyone that inevitably become products for no one. i've become a lot more cynical about the trend towards mediocrity in entertainment, and that cynicism is due at least in part to much of what i've seen come out of the AI space. i do not have a knee-jerk hatred of the tech, but it has not at all panned out how i had hoped or dreaded.

[wattemeer]

oh my god I've been following you for years now but you totally disappeared from my dash at some point and you just reappeared bc of that kagehina web weaving post and i was like wait i know that name. so much of your kagehina art lived in a dedicated folder on my old phone because looking at it just gave me an inexplicable amount of comfort and I'd just scroll through it whenever I felt hopeless. and i remembered that comfort all of a sudden while looking at your art again and it only took me a second really; I tried to rationalise the softness i get by looking at your art, which I'd never thought about too deeply before, and. my god. it feels exactly like being with my girlfriend did. the girlfriend who's my ex now, who I'm kind of still not over, who's still one of my closest friends, for whom my heart aches daily. and it made me so sad and yet softer still, you art has this tinge of profound nostalgia now that I've found it again, or maybe it always did. I don't know. it hurts but i want to thank you. sorry for the rant, and the nonsense, i should really be asleep. have a good day/night. <3

Duuuuuude ok this one's insane i can't believe anyone would have such profound feelings for my art damn 😭💞💕 to know it had/has such an impact on someone idk that means the whole entire world to me

Thank you so much for this like, truly. i had such a sad fucking day today bc something terrible happened in my family but this.. cheered me up a lot haha :')

[littleblueberryartist]

One personal gripe I have with TLT was that Annabeth mentioned that monsters often posed as doctors to medicate Demigods and dull their battle reflexes.

Cuz like as much as I love the series for being my first exposure to ADHD/dyslexia/neurodivergent representation. And the fact that it was about positive representation and solidarity in that.

Demonizing medication is,,,,,

So anyway canon is a suggestion and I'm going to ramble about my neurodivergent demigods thoughts (mainly focusing on ADHD because that's what I personally have)

My mini retcon is that Annabeth was misinformed and distrusting of adults because of her past

And like. Annabeth grew up at camp which is full of other neurodivergent kids that get it and accomodate her. It doesn't make her learning disabilities less disabling at times, but it likely meant that existing unmedicated didn't impact her nearly as badly as Percy or any of the other kids that weren't year rounders. So I think her views on the matter would be more detached as a result. She was also really young and I like to think she learns better in the future (maybe when she starts college bc the self directness of tertiary education hell is how I got diagnosed lol)

I wouldn't be surprised that monsters might try and disguise themselves as doctors, since if they're looking for demigods, that would be one way to find them. But I'm taking the "most doctors are monsters to try and medicate the half bloods" lore and throwing it out the window actually.

If anything I think it'd be better if it was more like. A representation of the doctors that won't listen to their patients, or the ones that maybe leave it *all* to the meds to help the kid or placate parents because believe me for a lot of people, me included, just meds are not enough.

I'm not completely sure how I'd go about it? Maybe they're trying to be doctors but because they're actually monsters they're not actually doing a good job??? Something about the importance of finding a good doctor??? But anyway that's the gist

Medication is not a cure all and it won't turn you into a zombie unless your dosage is wrong or the specific type of medication isn't for you. It's is so important to still have it as an option even if they're not for everyone and not demonize something that can genuinely help (even if the side effects can suck at times rip)

And like jokes on you my ADHD makes my thoughts jump so quickly that even if I notice the little things I will simply be on the next thing before I process. What battle reflexes? At least with meds I can focus on the things I notice djfjfjfjf

Anyway now that that's been covered onto the other ramblings!

Correct me if I'm wrong but I vaguely remember Percy talking about how his willpower crumbles at caffeine and how ironically soft drinks calmed him down (it's not ironic Percy it is simply how ADHD be sometimes)

So like

Even if the campers aren't medicated I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them self medicate with caffeine anyway like a lot of irl ppl do. (I've tried to self medicate with coffee a couple of times before I got diagnosed tho it always just made me sleepy)

I'd like to think that the Romans do actually have really good adhd healthcare bc as much as they're about battle and honing your skills they also have a whole ass city where you don't have to worry about monsters. Part of the reason ADHD is disabling is the environment, and in the books it's also what makes them good and necessary for a battle scenario. But these guys aren't battling! They're living peacefully in the city! So like I think they can afford to "dull one's senses" a bit.

This also extends to good healthcare in general. They're a society of largely neurodivergent people, which often come with other co-morbidities so it would make sense for them to expand to accommodate those too. Not to mention they're warriors, likely resulting in a good number of physically disabled residents. So it makes sense for them to cover all of that and have accessible infrastructure.

As far as I'm aware there was no confirmation whether legacies were neurodivergent and they make up a good chunk of New Rome. But!!! Since a lot of neurodivergencies (especially the focus of the books ADHD and dyslexia) are hereditary I'm gonna go ahead and say yeah lmao

Anyway new worldbuilding challenge let the Apollo (both Roman and Greek) kids work together with the Hecate/Trivia kids to make an ADHD med equivalent without as many of the irl drawbacks or smt I would kill to be able to focus without the cost of hunger be gone and meds crash superhell

[cherry-alive]

So, okay, I made a post a bit about this yesterday, but I've had a lot of thoughts since then and a useful conversation with my therapist. So. Complaining about dyspraxia below

I haven't been formally diagnosed with dyspraxia. It's actually pretty much the only diagnosis I've given to myself without at least medical confirmation. But I've given it to myself based on both a lot of research and comments I have received from medical practitioners (e.g. my pediatrician commenting on my weak grip, not meeting developmental milestones on time, comments from teachers, etc). And today my therapist said she's pretty sure I have it based not just on what I've reported but what she's observed in the way I physically interact with the world over the years, so that was helpful and validating. And we contacted my doctor today to hopefully get a referral to an OT, who will be able to actually assess me, which would be very cool. Because I still doubt myself all the time and go "you don't really have this" except like...I do though lol.

Part of the reason I doubt myself about it is that it hasn't had that much impact for many years. But recently, that has changed, and I've realized that it's not that I got better, it's that I went on disability and stopped trying to do a lot of things I used to do and spent like all day on my computer and got assistance with most physical tasks. I'm doing much, much better mental health wise lately, which is amazing, and as a result I'm engaging more and more with the physical world around me, whether that's going on walks or to the grocery store or cooking or dressing nicely or eating in restaurants or trying art or whatever. Which is great!

But it's all. so. fucking. physically. difficult. Not in an exhausting way, in a coordination way. Pushing carts at the grocery store? I bump into things constantly and get really overwhelmed by it and a few weeks ago dropped a glass bottle of olive oil that shattered all over the aisle in the store. Cooking? I love to cook, but it takes me at least 2 to 3 times the time to make any given recipe because I know myself and know I can't multitask so I do all the prep all at once up front, and slowly at that bc cutting vegetables is hard. Putting on makeup? Better set aside 10 minutes just to try to put on lip gloss without going outside the lines. Going to a restaraunt? Often a mortifying experience where I a) bump into other tables and/or b) have food all over my shirt by the end of the meal, which is so embarrassing but I've struggled with it my whole life. And it's just. It's all really really difficult and often I feel so ashamed when I drop something or bump into something or get messy or whatever in public and it just...it just sucks. And I get so so so frustrated and flustered and overwhelmed when I'm trying to do basic tasks at home like hanging up clothes or whatever and it's just so difficult and frustrating for me.

And I had forgotten how hard it all was because for years I just spent all my time on my computer. But I'm not doing that now. Which is great! But I trip and stumble and knock into things and get lost outside and can't do the things I want to do and I'm just constantly reminded that the physical world is very challenging for me. My probable dyspraxia has really been interfering with my life lately in pretty significant ways that have surprised me, I had kind of forgotten how frickin hard it makes a lot of things. I consider myself able bodied for the most part but I'm remembering now that like...not exactly 100% actually. And it just kind of sucks. A lot.

The good news is that as I mentioned, we contacted my GP about it and hopefully I'll get an assessment and maybe even some OT and/or PT, which could hopefully really help me. Because I'm trying very hard to recover and regain some independence, and this is proving a more significant challenge towards those goals than I had expected.

[gothicafish]

Umbrella academy s4 thoughts [spoilers]

- so like we all agree that thing with five and Lila was wack right ??? Like the dude that has been fighting apocalypse after apocalypse with his only motivation being his family, s-c-r-e-w-s his sister in law ? Ik him and diego don't have the strongest bond but you really want me to believe he would not only screw Lila but hurt diego like that? You also want be to believe Lila, who flocked to a whole other point in time to deal with her feelings for diego (among other things) Would cheat on him ? She rebelled against the women she knew as her mother for him ? Wack

-maybe I'm just a lil slow but it literally didn't make sense foe Lila to take her family to the subway to "save" them. If the cleanse would destroy every other timeline then the subway and every other timeline within it would have been straight up obliterated; it would have made sense if she did that so they would have to see the umbrellas die ? But in that same thought wouldn't it have been more meaningful for the whole family to die in this timline together and then the family that is SUPPOSED to exist will ?

- listen I like the touch that the siblings exist in some capacity in the new timeline but no marigold supposed to exists in this time at all so like? Huh?

-they did my Boy ben so dirty like a million times. I like that they explain his death and I think the way he died is entirely plausible cause Reggie SUCKS; and I can get behind the concept of the cleanse and the only one timelin thing but the way it was executed was not good in my opinion; someone said on here (I don't know who I'm sorry I rarely look at usernames! But if you know lemme know!) That it would have made more sense if the only one timeline to exist was one in which the umbrellas are born natrually and live the lives that they would have if Hargreaves never interveened. They also said the umbrellas would have some kind of deja vu or tether to eachother which I think is a nice, wholesome touch :)

- I was kinda expecting them to do more with the being born thing. I was also expecting them to mention that five and Luther are twins (revealled in the comics; I belive in hotel oblivion)

- I don't know, I feel like a lot of the side storylines five with the CIA, five with Lila, diego realizing he wants to be in a loving household and be a loving husband again only for that to be completely thrown in the trash by whatever happened in the subway :p, Luther living in the old, condemned umbrella academy (?),

-I feel like with past seasons they really focused on the fact that Luther never left and all he knew was being number one so I feel like after everything with the sparrows and Sloan he would have not gone back to try and fix it

Allison with her film career, I thought that would be more meaningful than it was and also the fact that Ray left her and just doesn't explain why or even why he doesn't even see Claire? (The actor that plays him probably didn't have time but like any amount of explanation would have been good)

-the fuckin subway was practically useless ? I thought the entire umbrella academy was gonna be stuck travelling the timelines but it was introduced and it ended that that was that. (Really upset that we didn't get a fun timeline montage but whatever)

-my OG theory was that they would be trapped jumping through different timelines trying to get to the original one and fix it that way and lowkey I wish that was the story we got

-despite ben and Jennifer and the cleanse being the main storyline I really don't remember most of it. It wasn't impactful and it didn't feel like a real threat even when it was literally absorbing everyone.

-were Gene and Jean really necessary beyond being the "antagonists" and just a way to make it harder to get to ben ?

-[edit 1] I need to know the biological properties of marigold. Bc for things to work out the way they're supposed to (umbrellas not existing) marigold has to be able to create a new egg, and be able to fertalize itself. But that would lead me to think the umbrellas would be born aliens, but we know they're not because we've seen them bleed red. So in my mind it makes more sense for marigold to only be able to fetalize eggs already in the uterus and fast tracking the pregnancy, meaning that in some capacity the umbrellas would still have the ability to exist because they already exist inside the uturus ? Maybe I'm reading too much into that one

-I have to know what happened to Leonard Peabody in the meant to be timeline I don't know why I'm just really curious about him since he kinda set apocalypse 1 into motion

I think the actors and the crew did really great work playing their characters and bringing the work to life but I genuinely believe the narrative and characters/development was throughly messed up by poor and lazy writing which is unfortunate because I really had high hopes and there was a point where this show was really fantastic and really good at being intriguing.

I hope in a few years they do a remake and do seasons 3 & 4 justice 🙏