#i thought it would help but im still hurt

[starkeysprincess]

I just know it doesn’t take long for stepbro!rafe to turn you into his perfect little slut, so much so that you start enjoying his punishments a little too much. One day after he finds you doing something naughty and he’s dragging you to his room and pushing you to your knees, you start blabbering, “Rafey wait-“ He pauses. “You got about five seconds to tell me what you want before I don’t let you have any control and I fuck your throat.” You gulp and mumble out “ ‘want spankies” another pause. “ ‘f you feel like you still deserve that after you’re done blowin’ me, I’m not complainin.’”

Once he’s shot his load down your throat and has you over his lap, you can’t help but giggle as he slips your panties down your legs. “The fuck you laughing for, huh?” That’s when you feel the first harsh smack to your ass, and not even near the top of your thighs where it feels good. “Owww. What are you doing?” “Thought this is what you wanted?” “No! Like you did last time.” You pout and that’s when he realizes you’re referring to the harsh little slaps he gives to your pussy, sending vibrations right to your clit and making you squirm just right. He smirks, “ohhh so that’s why you wanted extra punishment, looks like my baby sis is turning into a dirty girl. Well, since you like it so much, that wouldn’t be a very good punishment, would it, doll?” He sneers as his big palm comes down to land the next smack.

Ugh. 3am thoughts.🙄

it definitely wouldn’t take him long especially when he knows how much you look up to him cause he uses that to his advantage and all you wanna do is make him happy but he didn’t realize the possibility of how much you might like certain punishments until one day he finds you sprawled on your bed, fingers stuffed deep in your cunt and you don’t realize he walked in until he’s practically dragging you off the bed and into his room, harshly forcing you onto your knees

he’s already unbuttoning his pants to free his cock when you stop him, “you have five seconds to tell me what you want before I shove my cock down your throat and make you choke on it”

the next words that slip out of your mouth take him by surprise, “want you to spank me” you mumble. he can’t help but chuckle, squeezing your cheeks and pushing his thick dick into your mouth the tip hitting the back of your throat. “if you think you still deserve it after i use this pretty throat, im not gonna complain”

the second you swallow his thick load, he’s yanking you onto your feet, pulling you across his lap as he settles on the edge of his bed. you giggle when he pulls your panties down, letting them sit around your mid thigh before you yelp when his hand made contact with your ass, “the fuck is so funny, huh?”

he lands another harsh smack to your ass, “what are you doing? that hurts” you whine and rafe snorts, “this is what you wanted”. you turn your head to look over your shoulder at him, “no, wanted you to do it like you did last time” you pouted and that’s when he realized you were talking about the way he’d spank your cunt whenever his thick digits were pumping in and out of your cunt or when you wouldn’t stop squirming as his face is buried between your legs

“so that’s why you’ve been acting like a fuckin’ brat, huh? just wanted your pretty little pussy spanked. look at you, turning into nothing but a dirty little slut”

you squeak when his hand comes down on your plump ass again, “s’too bad you like it so much, just means i gotta find another way to punish you”

[crucifiedkiss]

◌ೆ୧　 ͢YOUR MAIL HAS BEEN DELIEVERED ♡

𓈒⠀⠀⁺⠀𝜗 crucifiedkiss ╱ p. jackson x gn! reader 𝜚

ꨄ︎ drbl ++ hcs dating percy pt2. ⏤ ﹙cupid﹚ 🪽 ˖ ׁ ⁩

  ಲ ͏ㅤ ׅㅤㅤcw: show!percy (i havent read the book(s) ...), season not specified, requested by 🦇anon ♡, ooc (proudly), not much plot, kissing (obv ..), fluff, silly teenagers being silly teenagers, drabble (drbl) ++ headcanons (hcs), drbl is pre-dating/before dating, YAPPING SO HARD IM SO SRRY 😭😭ㅤ✿𝅼

( ｡>﹏<) "YIPPEEEE TY 44 THE REQUEST !!! percy jackson my sweet bb GRAAHHHH !!! enjoy ml 🫂 IVE STARTED READING PJO BTW GUYS IM ON THE 2ND ONE (THE SEA OF MONSTERS) :3" ⏤ c.k.　と

　ㅤ، ׁ 　 ͢🦇ANON SENT A LETTER ♡

ㅤㅤ❛ ⠀⠀YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD??? AND YOUR ART??? AUGHH eats your art (it tastes like marshmallows) ^,_,^ can you write literally anyone from percy jackson... 🫂 :3 SORRY I DONT HAVE ANY PROMPT IDEAS😪⠀⠀— 🦇

𝜗୧ ּ݂⠀💌 dating percy jackson would include ﹗

　　　⏤　 him being extra soft when having to spar/practice fighting with u. the way his movements r a little more sluggish in a way, hesitant to put full force into attacking u, him usually ending up letting u win just so he can see that victorious look on ur face which leaves him happy for the rest of the day knowing he made u happy :3 the way he sheepishly laughs when u ask if he is actually putting effort to which he just shrugs and awkwardly rubs his nape, rejecting eye contact. he rlly wasnt a good liar😓 ... the way he barely even tries to swing at u but still does, not wanting to seem like he has completely no spark to him. the way he waits until ur fully gone before huffing, mumbling smth abt how its kinda embarrassing to act like a noob at sparring .. it was worth it tho to see ur the glee on ur face :) he never did want to hurt u, practicing or not. if he did, ur getting DRAGGED to someone as he begs for them to see if ur hurt rlly bad (has done this before definitely when u fell and scraped ur knee just BARELY or smth) (<- just wants u to be ok) (<- biggest green flag lowkey...❗) u have to tell him desperately that ur fine or else he is just going to proceed to bring u to someone to help u

　　　⏤　 kissing percy and him tasting like seasalt .. could u expect anything less tho? not in a bad way or anything, but he just tasted like the ocean physically lived in his mouth 24/7. never tell him so tho, he will whine like a baby and deny it – for a guy who likes water so much, he seems not to like that certain information. if u do tell him, no matter the amount of reassuring, he is brushing his tongue extra good that night and next morning, leaving you feeling slightly bad. it, of course, the taste doesnt go away. he is literally the son of poseidon: why WOULD it go away ??? be wary tho, it will leave ur mouth tasting of the same seasalt ,,, good thing is is that the taste is more faint, only lasting for a minute or two before fading ! hope u can last that long with the taste of the literal sea ..! ^_^" .... him being nervous abt kissing u aswell thooo. like, not nervous like "OH MY GOD UR MY FIRST KISS SAHSOHDODNWKX" or whtvr, but like "oh jeez ur rlly cool and stuff and what if i mess this up and and and" type nervous. normally, he was a confident and outgoing person, but smth about u just makes me a lil stiff in his movements – he does eventually get better, but would probably be vry hesitant at first ... idk idk just a thought :3 OMG WAIT: him, on a few occasions, wearing blue lipstick on purpose just for the reason he knows it will show up a LOT better and because it is rlly fun to see u frantically trying to wipe away the lipstick as percy smiles mischeviously. he looks a lil silly with the blue lipstick on but seeing ur face covered in lipstick marks from HIM ??? physically giggles, kicks his feet, and twirls his hair at night thinking about ur face covered in those lipstick marks (he is a little delulu pls excuse him😞) ... overall likes seeing ur skin covered with the pretty blue. would do it again and again and again and again and .. yeah .. SRRY FOR YAPPING BUT ALSO ???? ESKIMO KISSES ??? the tired giggle he lets out in the morning as he gives u the faint brush of his nose against urs is make me SICK thinking of it /pos does this as a way to say goodmorning :3 also, absolutely would BEGGG for a spiderman kiss. he doesnt know how to initiate it, but the moment ur upside down, he is SPRINTING 😭😭 pls do a spiderman kiss he is inlove with the idea. like ... a kiss ?? upside down ?? lowkey chaotic but in a cool way ??? yippee !!! sign him up !!! ALSO ALSO: tango dip kisses (dipping someone down, usually done during a dance/tango dancing, and kissing them), butterfly kisses (kissing someones eyelashes), underwater kiss (self explanatory, but kissing underwater), ETC. !!! sign him up🗣🗣🔥🔥

　　　⏤　 him worrying about everything he does, thinking about what u would think abt him doing this one thing. "is my hair curled enough today? i hope they like it ...", "would they appreciate the small details on this outfit?", "would they like my different cologne? would they even notice it?" type of thinking. takes everything into consideration and rlly hopes u notice the small things he does for u. makes sure it doesnt seem desperate .. works sometimes. always asking annabeth her opinion on stuff, assuming she would know tons on u, true or not. cue annabeth coming up to u one day and huffing abt percy practically daily asking her questions about u – he is just trying to be sweet but oh my gods😓 always yapping. takes u into consideration with almost every action/decision he does lowkey😭 has saved him plenty of times honestly ... not all the time tho cause he is still the silly dumb person he is but /silly/pos

　　　⏤　 him absolutely hyping u UP and just being rlly sweet/supportive !!! oh, ur feeling down ?? immediate compliment and a chasted kiss to ur cheek. having a bad day ?? gently brushing his knuckles against urs, just to remind u that he is open to talk about anything at any moment ... etc. etc. he is HAPPY to give u a new compliment/fresh joke each day if that is what makes u happy or just anything u enjoy. u like rocks ?? gives u tons. u like astrology ?? getting u a telescope so u can look at the stars and books on stuff like such, AND SO MUCH MORE !!! just wants to support what u like doing, featuring motivating and joyous grins. never turning down a opportunity to let u know ur doing amazing or just doing ur best, sneaking a few silly flirts in there aswell cause its PERCY were talking abt😭

　　　⏤　 lingering everything. and by that i mean: lingering touches, lingering stares, lingering ... everything, as said. just seems like the person to be rlly obvious with how much he loves u. the touches were so gentle, as if a feather just lightly caressing over the skin, and the stares were so loving that u would expect his pupils to be practically shaped into hearts and the ocean blue of his eyes overall would become a pink-ish color just filled with affection alone and seeming as if he had been blessed by aphrodite themselves. it is such a painfully obvious thing that he just cant help, wanting to let his touch stay a little longer to feel the nice comforting feel of ur skin against just the tips of his fingers, his gaze to dash all over ur face as he tries deciding what to actually stare at which ultimately ends up everytime on ur own eyes just a little longer– he wanted time as a whole to stop just so he could stare at u forever. maybe it was the way the sun just beautifully illuminated ur skin, the way ur eyes shimmered ... blah blah blah. ur perfect in his eyes, case closed !!

dating this, dating that. it was always romantic stuff these days. percy never found the appeal at first, making a playful gag sound as someone longed on about their one and only. it wasnt like he never thought of having a partner of sorts, but it just seemed, well, weird, which was understandable for a kid of his age. being young, desiring a relationship could be likely, sure, but with percy he was unsure. as life progressed, he slowly came to realization that a partner could not only be a romantic interest he, himself, could long about like others have, but also be someone he could just lean onto at times. arguably, a partner was someone he could just really be himself with.

with ever-so much hesitancy, he slowly got into the loving life, and gods he never regrets it. maybe fate, maybe not, but the fact he stumbled upon you just on the day he finally decided to try out dating was a miracle to him. you left his heart clenching comfortably, stomach swirling with feelings he was just never sure of. was this what love truly felt like? maybe you were the one. he prayed to every god out there and to aphrodite specifically that he wouldnt stumble over his words like a love-sickened idiot.

would you even like him? his hair was really messy today. maybe you would like his messy hair? gods, he was thinking to deeply into this. youre just another person at camp. 'calm down,' he thought to himself and, obviously, it hadnt worked. when has that ever worked for him, realistically? whatever. off topic.

first time speaking to you and he, embarrassingly enough, had stuttered and his voice cracked about three times – great going percy, absolutely peachy job! one awkward conversation later, you surprisingly became his friend. he didnt know how that even happened, thinking on the spot of you seeing him that you would just ignore him or something ... where was his confidence? he sighed in relief nonetheless, knowing that with enough encouragement from him—and likely others because he was horrible at both keeping and hiding secrets—, that he would maybe have a chance.

"just say tons of jokes. maybe they like jokes ... gods i hope they like jokes." he mumbled to himself before slowly beginning to walk towards you, pace so slow it would almost seem like he dreaded talking to you which was quite the opposite. just talk. that was simple enough, right? hes got this, hes got this.

[rockermybuddie]

Finally got to watch the first episode of season 8 so here are my takes on it!

1) Buck and Tommy, so adorable 🥰

2) im still stuck on this season being about bees out of everything.

3) Athena having to escort Dennis after him killing her fiance, i feel so sad for her but shes so strong actually doing it.

4) props to her putting that man in the back of his own car haha that was so funny.

5) A PLANE CRASH

6) Eddie getting covered in perfume and running from bees hahaha one of my fav parts

7)The video call with Chris wrecked me. My heart hurts for Eddie.

8)Eddie telling Buck not to jump from the roof after they had to run lol

9)Fuck Gerrad. How is he even still alive? Yet still a fire captain like ????

10) Was NOT expecting the ending i really thought Eddie would punch him.

11)I hope he dies from his injury but not at the same time because Buck wouldnt forgove himself even if he cant stand gerrard. (Thats real dark so pls forgive me, i cant stand how he talks to them)

12) Gerrad is probably still gonna give Buck shit even if he did save his life from the saw

13) Gerrad telling Buck hes surprised he didnt wash out and that he was a disgrace after Buck worked so hard :(

14) I need new episodes now omg.

15)My fav part would probably be Buck and Tommy sitting behind Eddies couch and putting on the party hats

16)The part where Buck had the perfume idea and looked at Eddie for his help but Eddie was just like 🧍🏻‍♂️🤨 was so funny him looking behind himself

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[yume-fanfare]

day 7 of torikasa week is future! what will they do after graduation?

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

excuse me i need to Muse on something for a moment

so in Wally's secret 'vinyl' audios, specifically the last few (if we're listening to em in chronological order), obviously he starts to sound more strained/distressed. his breathing is more labored, like it's taking all of his energy to make contact.

but the audio that really caught my attention was the "But i still can't see" one. cause he just said he has more eyes than he did before. he knows We draw them a lot, and it's thanks to that that he can see. but he still can't see?

so my question is: where is Wally physically? cause although he can (assumedly) see the WHRP goings on, he can see through the eyes We draw, that could all be on a, uh... more Intangible level of sight. like the spiral pit is forming an eye, and then there's the eye on the ceiling in the secret Staff Only section - could Wally be in the pit, that space between his reality and Ours, "watching" through the eyes? but unable to actually see with due to the pit being pitch black nothingness? is he somewhere else? is he stuck? he can see, but he can't... see.

(or is he trying to explain an abstract concept - he's not actually viewing anything, but he can sense it. like how he knows We're there, even if he can't see or hear Us. but he just doesn't have the words to describe it other than using physical senses - see, hear, look.)

and him saying "...that I can see. But it is still... I can't..." but it's still what, Wally? dark? something else that he doesn't have the words to describe, so he just says that he can't see?

i know that in the Livestream Trivia Document (compiled by @/the neighborhoodwatch) there was something said about Wally being in a box. my first thought reading that was "oh, so he's in storage? the physical puppet, i mean?" which would make sense - show's over, there's no more use for him. pack 'em up and put him away. but that paired with the "can't see" audio makes both seem a lil... connected.

Wally can't see > he's likely somewhere dark > the inside of closed boxes are dark > Wally's in a box. (or maybe the Neighborhood is the box? it's a stretch, i know, but the map is a box. television sets are often set up in "boxes". maybe it's less of a physical storage box and more of a 'boxed in' sort of thing...)

one question i've had since the Start of my interest in this incredible project is: how is Wally communicating? how has he connected to the site? how does he connect to our reality? the pit almost definitely has something to do with it - most likely acting as a bridge, or the deteriorating of the barrier between our two 'worlds' - but if Wally is in a box and Not the pit or even just in the puppet's reality... how is he reaching us beyond just seeing through the eyes he's given?

or is he in their reality, and he can contact through the pit or something, but he can't actually see the other side? Our side? he knows it's there - that We're there - but none of it is visible to him. maybe his apparent disassociation in the 14 bug audios is a demonstration of him contacting Us. we can see through him, but it's a one way street.

and speaking of the pit - i just had a thought. his whole thing with Us letting him in, opening... the pit on the neighborhood map is getting bigger and clearer. but the presumed Other Side, the one on the Staff Only ceiling, is small. it's the size of a ceiling panel. it seems to me that Wally is chipping away at his side of the pit or 'portal', trying to reach Our reality, but he needs Us to do the same thing on the other side. the QA can hear him calling, but there's no phone on their (Our) side of the pit. how do We call back???

there's a fundamental barrier & lack of understanding between Wally and the QA/Us. he's trying. he wants to be let in, but what does that mean, really? let him in where? open what? he's desperate. he wants us to understand. he's trying so so hard Without the right tools to clearly communicate what he wants. he can't see Us, We can see him, both know the other is there, but there's no way to connect. and the attempts are hurting all parties involved, however unintentionally

[athymelyreply]

realizing that a lot of the pro palestine people on the left don’t actually care about reducing harm or helping people or working towards a better and more peaceful future was such a disappointment.

[selunesfavouriteprincess]

I can’t even lie over time this pathetic little elf has grown on me and now I really like her as a character. she’s SUCH a loser. and someone said that she should’ve been recruitable instead of Halsin after uncovering the Shadow Druid plot and she could’ve had a redemption arc and now I can’t stop thinking about that alternate reality

[good-beanswrites]

I’m thinking about the angst of the restraints headcanon again. There’s the two with the least physically violent crimes, and they rank relatively low in strength. There’s the child who was violent but had to be really crafty about it; she’s the weakest of all of them. And the most dangerous of the guilty prisoners cannot be restrained.

This makes me so emotional!!! All three are the smallest of their circles. Two of them are extremely ordinary people who have never experienced/expressed physical violence before. One hadn't even fathomed the idea of someone dying until they actually did. And yet, they're subjected to the type of restraints you'd expect to see on someone who is uncontrollably violent. The fact that prisoners who committed very gruesome murders can walk free (including Mikoto) just adds insult to injury. I still couldn't everything into words, but here's a Mahiru-centric drabble featuring the same thoughts. It takes place after T1 closes but before the attacks.

“Where are our rights?”

Fuuta’s shout caused Mahiru to wince. She perched on her bedding, watching the two prisoners she’d invited to her cell. It hadn’t been the fun kind of invitation, though. Back in school, she always wanted to have parties and dates back at her place. Moving to the city, she imagined what it would be like to make university friends and take them back home with her to talk, eat, and have fun. 

Sitting in her dim gray cell with Fuuta and Amane, all of them held fast by complex sets of restraints, was not what she’d had in mind.

Amane knelt in the corner. Her arms were crossed, as if pouting, though the opposite was true. A moment ago her eyes had lowered in prayer, but it was difficult to find any peace of mind now. Fuuta snapped and shouted as he paced the length of the cell bars. They were unlocked, but like the others, he didn’t feel like being out in front of everyone. He’d give his uniform a violent jerk every now and then, but it didn’t do any good. Between his strides and growls, he made Mahiru think of those poor wild animals they keep at the circus.

“Take it easy, Fuuta.” She mustered up a smile. “Come rest with us.”

“I can’t believe you two. You’re just gonna sit here and take it? I didn’t do a fucking thing! They’re acting like I’m some big danger to society,” he yanked his arms again, to no avail. “All I did was type some things onto a screen. I’m not gonna go around stabbing anyone or anything. And you, you didn’t hurt anyone either!”

He nodded his head to Mahiru. If her arms weren’t already folded over her chest, she would have hugged herself anyway. 

“Well… I did hurt him in the end… I broke his heart badly enough that… I mean, he…”

Fuuta made a disgusted sound. “That’s all stupid romance stuff. I’m saying, you never stabbed him. Never strangled him. Never poisoned his food, or –”

“Oh god, no! How horrible…”

“Exactly! From what we’ve heard, it sounds like Haruka killed someone with his bare hands. I think Muu had a knife or something. Shidou had a whole arsenal of grisly doctor tools. Kotoko has openly talked about how she beat that guy to death. Why are they allowed to walk free while we’re tied down like wild animals?”

Mahiru was glad she hadn’t mentioned the circus.

“And Amane! It’s not like she did anything violent, and here she is!”

“That is not true.”

Both paused as Amane spoke up for the first time. 

“Eh?”

“While I disagree with my verdict, the restraints make sense.” The others still stared blankly. As matter-of-fact as always, she continued. “I killed with my own hands. I used the amount of force I was instructed to. Just as the sinner fears the wrath of heaven, I can understand how the godless warden would fear my justice.”

Fuuta’s passion wavered, but Mahiru could feel her heart ache for the girl. “Oh Amane… I had no idea. To be pushed to the point of violence at your age…”

“I am not to be pitied. As I said, I am dangerous, and proud to be. I am doing god’s work. All heroes must be dangerous.”

Fuuta grunted, but said nothing. Mahiru gave her a gentle smile. “It’s not pity. Even if you were dangerous, it’s horrible to restrain someone like you. You’ve already had to brave so much, as the smallest of the bunch.”

She looked between the two. A sad laugh escaped her. “Now that I think of it, I guess we’re all the smallest here, hm? Aside from maybe Muu, we don’t have much height or strength on the others…”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Fuuta cried. “The fuck do they think we’re going to do?” Mahiru was just glad he’d focused on that rather than the fact she’d just called him weak. 

Voices raised in conversation down the hallway. Mikoto’s laugh echoed faintly into the cell.  

It warmed Mahiru to hear. Things had been so hard on him here. Though it had been frightening to hear him shouting at the restraints til his voice was raw – well, it wasn’t him shouting – it had been a relief when he appeared free and relaxed the following day. He seemed sheepish that he wasn’t able to help the others, having no memory of his escape. Mahiru just kept telling him how happy she was for him.

Fuuta didn’t share in the sentiment. “Meanwhile, Mikoto gets to stroll around free, and he beat the shit out of Es! He could snap and kill any one of us here, and they don’t even give a damn. But ooohhh, god forbid the guy who’s never been violent a day in his life is allowed to use his own two hands!”

The harshness of his voice wasn’t doing his argument many favors. Still, his words were beginning to get through to Mahiru. 

She’d worked so hard to be a model citizen. She was supposed to have a perfect life. She could cook, clean, sew, and take care of children. She did herself up every day; she was never a slob or a slut. She was generous to everyone she met. She showered the world around her in love. Wasn’t it unfair that her hands were tied like some common criminal? What was all that effort for – being patient when people upset her, being kind even when she disagreed with someone, all of that – if she was going to end up in the same place as someone who had stabbed another out of sheer malice?

Amane didn’t seem to be whirling with the same doubts. She closed her eyes once more. “It is simply a trial from heaven. We may be small, but all of us have an internal strength that will carry us through the ordeal.”

“I don’t think it’s any sort of religious thing, but you’re right,” Fuuta puffed his chest out. “Trials like this only make people stronger!” 

“Do you think so?” Mahiru wasn’t sure if she was asking either of them or just musing to herself. It was a nice thought. This was all part of destiny, something meant to be that would make her stronger in the end. 

But she wasn’t so sure she believed in destiny anymore. It hadn’t quite worked out the first time. 

“Hell yeah!” Fuuta must have assumed she was in fact asking him. He gave a wide, toothy grin. “It’s not like we can get any weaker, right? The warden better watch out next trial – they’ve got a big storm coming!”

[mamawasatesttube]

uh oh i can feel myself getting bogged down in the perfectionism sauce again... i need to write smth stupid and self indulgent ough

[piplupod]

feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[darkcreamz95]

Honestly heading out by yourself and your thoughts slowly drifting to Chapter 3 and 4 hurts...

A LOT

[qqqqqqqqqqq0]

i did a thing

[bunnyboy-juice]

blah blah blah blah blah