#i thought it would be here when i woke up and i could get a badge but NO!!!!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

no cause sorry for the rant but you're right it's such a pervasive sentiment not just with music but anything involving Black people and other poc that even around the time Batman: Unburied first came out when I looked at the tag one time I saw some apparently popular riddlebat fanartist's reply to an anon asking them if they'd draw fan art of the podcast's versions of Bruce and Ed and they seriously said they wouldn't ever do that because they never drew poc before and won't ever start to because they "wouldn't want to draw something racist". and it's baffling to me because they literally could just have googled photos of the VAs as reference for this. that's literally not even hard. but instead they just proudly declared they'd never draw poc ever and got support for this from multiple people in their notes...

they did say they'd use Hasan Minhaj's voice clips from the podcast for their own (white, ginger) version of the character though which congrats on making that even worse

no lichrally I've had it up to HERE with my fellow whites using their fear of being perceived as racist as a justification to??? just actually BE racist??? by refusing to engage meaningfully with the writing or art or critical thought of people of color, or even just doing something as harmless as drawing a Black Batman or Indian Riddler. like these clowns would really rather put their entire asses out there and admit they can't learn how to draw a person of color and don't want to and then pretend that's an act of allyship? shut your hell mouth. how the fuck is it that hard for you to draw a Black person without it being racist.

and it all like fundamentally boils down to this deeply held white refusal to engage even a little bit with our own discomfort; this avoidance was identified as a crucial tenant of white supremacy in a very cool workshop I participated in last year. we don't like having to think about things that make us uncomfortable! the idea of, say, having to potentially learn a few new skills to draw a wider variety of people or of potentially receiving negative feedback, maybe even being accused of being unintentionally racist—that makes a lot of us curl up in a miserable little ball and preemptively disengage, which is why you have people coming up with these elaborate hoops justify their choices. a lot of us might believe racism is wrong but still be too afraid of confronting or being confronted with their own biases to actually push our boundaries re: engaging with things outside our white experiences, so then because we're Definitely Not Racist we have to come up with justifications for why our refusal to engage is actually woke rather than just prioritizing our own white fragility.

anyway @ all my fellow white people get a grip and learn to be okay with the possibility of being told you fucked up.

[transforming-transformer]

Call Me Chad

Charlie never thought that a beautiful girl like Rachel would show any real interest in a geek like him, but to use him just to get to Jack? His dumb musclehead roommate who he also had to tutor to get paid enough by his football coach? He felt heartbroken, trying to find the right words to say to her to not leave him. 

“I just can’t see a future between us, especially if you’re not hot like Jack,” Rachel said, as Jack wrapped his arm around her slender waist.

“Bro, she’ll never continue dating a nerdy loser like you,” Jack scoffed, cutting Charlie off.

The small, twig-like nerd lips quivered and his reddened eyes burst into tears as he ran out of the frat party, only to be caught by a few of Jack’s douchebag posse to be stripped till he was completely naked and eventually dunked into the swimming pool. It left him embarrassed, vulnerable and overwhelmed, as he was surrounded by pompous, superficial jerks that kept laughing and sneering at him. All of it turned his shame and guilt into anger and vengeance—

———

“CHARLIE! Wake up, man. The library’s gonna close in half an hour.”

Charlie woke up disgruntled and deeply frustrated. Fuck, he’d dreamt about the set-up. Again. It’d been a few weeks since he got dumped, and it still consumed his mind like crazy. He rubbed his eyes softly and looked up to see his good friend William waving his hand in front of Charlie’s face. 

“Hey, you okay? You’ve been dozing off quite a bit during study group,” William asked, looking concerned.

Charlie sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, I’m awake. Just…”

“The set-up?” William replied. Charlie froze.

“Was it that obvious?” 

“Charlie, it’s the only thing that’s been on your mind for three months, and with the way things happened, I wouldn’t blame you for being so fixated on it,” William rubbed Charlie’s back caringly as he spoke, his hand pushing his glasses back up to position. 

Charlie sighed again, and sunk his head down. “But I shouldn’t be. I should have moved on by now, found someone new—”

William cut him off. “Don’t you dare go into what-ifs. That’ll only keep you miserable.”

“I know… it’s just… I wanna be someone’s special someone, but I can’t when I look like a stick and have to compete with huge muscle guys like Jack and his friends…” Charlie shook his head, frustrated and exasperated, while William gave him a comforting bro hug…

But William wished he could be more than just a friend to Charlie. See, William had been there for Charlie pretty much all their lives, growing up together and being very close. Hell, William had especially been there for him that night too: picking him up from the frat house; sitting with and comforting Charlie in his dorm; making sure he ate well and didn’t binge or starve himself; if anything, William would’ve made a great, loving boyfriend to Charlie… if only Charlie wasn’t so painfully straight and thought this was just a good friend looking out for a friend in pain. He, too, was frustrated by Charlie’s situation and constant thinking of the past.

Charlie rose from his chair and looked at William, smiling softly. “Thanks for being here for me, Will. It really means a lot to have a friend like you,” he said before walking away.

“L-likewise, Charlie. I’ll see you later,” Will replied, a smile forced onto his lips as he watched Charlie leave the library. Fuck, if only there was something he could do to make both his and Charlie’s situations ease up, but also align so they could be together.

Just as William was about to leave, he noticed a shimmer out of the corner of his eye. Turning to see where it came from, he noticed an old, rickety door with an oddly polished handle built in between the bookshelves. “Huh, I’d not seen that there before…” he mumbled as he walked over to it and turned the handle. The door swiftly opened, and Will stepped into what looked like a dusty, abandoned storage room, covered in cobwebs, rags and dust. He was intrigued at first, but screamed when he heard the door slam behind him without warning.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??” he shouted, grabbing his phone and turning its flashlight on to look around for the source of the door closing. As he kept searching, a bunch of lanterns mysteriously flared up, suddenly illuminating the room to reveal an ancient-looking book on a cobwebbed lectern. After taking a few breaths to calm down, Will blew the dust off the book, to see its title: “The Jock Bible”. An Ancient Greek-style illustration of a hot, muscular guy adorned the cover.

“Hmm, interesting name for a book…” he pursed his lips, intrigued as he lifted the cover. He was suddenly overwhelmed when a golden aura emerged from the pages and blinded him, filling him with immense knowledge, knowledge that could play to both his benefit, as well as Charlie’s. The thoughts swirling in his mind made him smirk. Perhaps there could be a way to make Charlie his after all… though he himself might want to use it for his own needs too.

The next morning, Charlie waited in line at the cafeteria, concealing himself in a purple hoodie to not draw any attention from people. The party had made him embarrassingly and overwhelmingly visible, which gnawed at him and forced the poor nerd to resort to wearing more and more hoodies, just to hide. As he neared the trays and plates on the way to the buffet, he felt a firm, thick-fingered hand grab his shoulder, which sent shivers down his spine.

“Hey there, Chad, man you’re looking more huge every day,” a deep voice spoke.

“Wait, that voice is familiar,” Charlie thought, and turned around to see a handsome hunk standing there, in a blue tank top and grey sweatpants, which threw him off so much he jumped. The jock in front of him chuckled, while Charlie gripped his tray.

“Bro, chill, looks like you’ve seen a ghost or something,” he smirked as he eyed Charlie up and down. Another shiver ran down the nerd’s spine, and he felt strangely… comfortable.  Charlie took a few steps back as he still felt nervous around this guy, even if he was more chill about it, but the musclehead sauntered over and slapped the nerd’s back.

“Come on, let’s sit together and chat, Chad,” he said.

Charlie replied back, firmly, “My name’s not Chad! It’s Charlie!”

The jock shook his head and smirked. “Nah, dude, you’re Chad alright. One of the biggest dudes I’d ever seen.”

Afraid of this guy and what he was saying, Charlie threw his tray at the jock and made a run for it. He ran past the building he was supposed to have class in in an hour, past his residence hall, he even ran past the fraternity quad. When he stopped and took a breath, he looked around to see he was in the athletics area of campus, which spooked him. He could see the gym and the football field in front of him, and as he took a step back to wonder what the hell was going on, that slight shiver that ran down his spine tingled once more, and all of a sudden, his shirt felt extremely tight on him, as if compressing him.

“What the fuck is happening?” he asked, panting as he peeled off his shirt to no avail, the fabric tearing at his growing body. The buttons on his shirt bounced off as he felt his muscles grow at a rapid rate, which made him almost scream, while his shirt finally fell to the ground in a pile of shredded rags, to reveal a shocking surprise: rounded shoulders, defined pecs, washboard abs, toned arms, and a pair of legs strong enough to crush watermelons.

“H-holy shit, I’m buff??” he asked himself, and as he curled his arm into a flex, his bicep vein popped out, showing just how lean he was. His eyes went wide in horror. “What the fuck is going on??”

“Chad, Bro, I told you, you’re looking more huge everyday,” the jock from the canteen said, appearing as if out of nowhere. Charlie jumped and stepped back.

“Who the fuck are you?” Charlie asked, shutting his mouth as he heard a deep, bovine voice emerge from his mouth. “What the fuck is happening to me? What are you doing to me?” he cried, cowering in fear.

“That’s not the Chad I know. Dude, you’re the cockiest, most confident sigma jock on campus, not some wussy nerd,” the jock responded with a chuckle.

“I keep telling you, my name’s not Chad! It’s Chad—” Charlie tried to say his own name, but the name Chad slipped out of his lips instead. No matter how hard he tried, the name Chad stuck to his tongue like honey. “What the hell is going on?”

“You’ll see when we’re done, Chad.” The jock winked and sauntered away, his muscles defined by the sunlight above while Charlie watched, confused and terrified altogether. What did that musclehead mean by “you’ll see when we’re done”?

Walking back to his dorm, Charlie felt exposed. Embarrassed. He tried to cover up his body, but his hands, large as they were, were unable to fully cover his massively ripped chest, which bounced with every step he took. The now-lean muscular nerd, glasses still on, kept his head hung low to avoid attracting any more attention. However, when he was a few feet away from the front door, he heard giggles and whistles from the other side of the street. Charlie looked up, and noticed a trio of sorority girls looking at him. No, not just looking. Ogling him. Licking their lips and blowing kisses at him. As they did, his spine tingled… and he thought his dick was getting hard too. He smirked back at them with a confident grin, flexing one of his arms. The girls giggled even more, which made the nerd blush, until he realized his dick was still soft and limp. 

His face went pale at the realization, and before he could even try to process what the hell was going on, Charlie ran off into his residence hall, until he was finally in the comfort of his own room. Not at all realizing that he’d dropped and broken his glasses on the way.

———

It had been an intense two days since that strange jock pestered Charlie, and since he… well, got the body of one. He was still confused as to how he could just magically buff up like he did, especially since it looked like he’d been working out since he was thirteen and played football at the same time. Scouring through Google to find answers, there seemed to be no solution to changing himself back to his normal nerdy self. Not just that, he knew he couldn’t keep hiding like this - he was bound to step outside and run into people.

“Ughhhh, what do I do?” he asked himself.

Then, he realized there was one person he hadn’t seen since his change. William.

Charlie grabbed his phone and, with his meaty fingers, sent a message to his best friend, hoping he could have someone to trust with his secret.

CHARLIE: <<William, I need your help>>

The nerd-in-a-jock’s-body held his breath, waiting for a response, and sure enough, the text bubble showed up as William typed out his reply… one that poor Charlie was not expecting.

WILLIAM: <<sup chad? i was wondering where u went>>

Charlie was baffled, and in his shock, dropped his phone. Did that jock steal William’s phone? Was this some sort of elaborate prank that Jack and his buddies were pulling? His phone buzzed again, and he picked it up to see a new message from whoever had his bestie’s phone.

WILLIAM: <<earth to chad, bruh sometimes you can be so thick huhuhu>>

As he read this, he felt an intense fog fill his mind, obscuring his panic and attempts to make sense of the situation. A chuckle left his lips, and his hand covered them in waning concern. Charlie wasn’t dumb… was he? 

He put the phone down on his bed, and looked around the mess of a bedroom he was in: empty packs of chips, half-full bottles of soda and water, clothes strewn in every corner. Well, less clothes, more like shredded pieces of fabric that were once clothes that used to fit his lanky frame. All that survived were some of his oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans, which were more form-fitting on his now-muscular physique, leaving little to the imagination. That, and a set of gym clothes he found outside his door the night after his sudden second puberty. A tight grey Under Armour compression shirt that showed off his massive pecs, a pair of black five-inch inseam shorts that hugged his thighs, and a jockstrap.

If anything, his room resembled what he thought a douchey jock’s dorm would look like.

Charlie stood up, and he felt his head go woozy, the fog in his mind intensifying and concealing more of his usual train of thought. He sniffed like a dog, sensing there was an awful stench coming from inside his room. He first thought it was his clothes - sure, they had some cheesy scent to them, but not as intense as this one was. His shoes? Rank, but not what he was looking—OH, it was himself. Charlie’s pits reeked like crazy, his B.O. filling up the room and replacing the oxygen in it. Normally, he would wrinkle his nose in disgust, but with his mind in a daze, he let out another chuckle.

“Bruh, I reek,” he said, in a low, bovine tone reminiscent of Jack.

Fuck, Jack. That sexy motherfucker, with muscles that glistened with sweat, a handsome face that he could just kiss, and a dick worth sucking—

Wait, what??

Charlie quickly got dressed in the new gym clothes he got, not even bothering to shower or clean himself up, grabbed his phone and bag, and ran out of his dorm, pushing some of his fellow nerds out of the way. He made it outside, the sun shining on his chiseled face, and he began to saunter over to…

Wait, where was he going again?

He pulled out his phone, and looked through his calendar to see what class he had. He’d already missed his degree-required Python Coding class at 8:30 AM, History of Japan at 11:30 AM, and now it was past 2:00 PM. Charlie had… Physiology of Exercise at 3:00 PM followed by HIT DA GYM at 6:00 PM? As he regained some of his composure, Charlie was shaken. These two things on his roster were stuff a jock would study and do. He usually had Study Group with his friends at six… what the fuck was going on with him?

As the nerd felt some of the mind fog ease and dissipate, he noticed the same trio of girls from two days back, the ones Charlie flexed for, but this time they were accompanied by their frat bro boyfriends - all looked like they were cut from the same cloth: white, chiseled jawlines, built bodies. Charlie’s jaw dropped at the sight of these men, his cock was getting hard just by ogling them, and tenting visibly in his tight shorts. He was straight! Into girls! He wasn’t gay. He… he couldn’t be. He grabbed his bag and covered his obscene bulge, waddling over to the library to calm himself down and figure out what was happening to him.

———

William, meanwhile, was returning to his room at the Eta Theta Tau frat house, locking the door behind him as he pulled out The Jock Bible from his backpack. He smirked as he flexed his biceps in front of the full-length mirror on the wall, before sitting down and opening the magical tome that had granted him not only the body and life he’d dreamt of. He charmed his way, literally and figuratively, into Eta Theta Tau, the college football team, and even the Honors Society. He became insanely popular, grew in strength as he did bicep curls with 28-kilogram dumbbells, gained a rugged handsomeness by stealing some traits from his fellow frat bros, all of which made William more visible and prominent in the social fabric of campus life. 

The Jock Bible also gave the new frat bro, actually more like the Frat President, immense power to reshape reality and whoever he wanted to fit his new life. That included his crush on Charlie, soon to be his dumb boyfriend Chad. He laughed as he remembered scaring the shit out of his skinny nerd friend, taunting him into growing his muscles. They were getting big enough for William’s, or rather Will’s, taste, but he wasn’t so much into Charlie’s intellect. It kinda drove an unseen wedge between the two of them, and made Will feel dumb sometimes.

Well, with this next phase of the plan, that was about to change, and now he wondered what Charlie was doing with his text messages from earlier.

“Charlie, I can’t wait to make you my blissfully dumb muscle slut,” he chuckled as he turned the pages of the book to see what else he could pull off.

———

Charlie stumbled out of the library two hours later. It was fine, he thought, I can skip this class, it’s not even a class I remember signing up for. As he walked around, the golden rays of sunlight hitting his perfectly-tanned skin, he saw the jock who’d made him into an oaf of a man strutting in his direction. Charlie hid behind a tree, his breath picking up as he shivered nervously. His mind felt somewhat the same, but also felt a bit slower than usual.

“Who is this dude, and what does he want with me?” he asked himself.

He suddenly gasped as he felt a bunch of hands grab his arm, yanking him from his very obvious hiding place. Charlie’s eyes went wide when he saw who pulled him out - it was Jack and his group of bros, smirks on their faces as they looked at him.

“Yo, Chad, why’re you hiding from us dude?” Jack chuckled, patting the nerd’s back.

One of his posse, Dan, smirked. “Bruh, we got push day at six, you’ll be there, right?” he asked.

Charlie was even more confused, seeing his tormentors treat him as if he were like one of them. No, they were treating him as one of them. Panic rose inside Charlie, as it was quite the shift. Something felt really off, but before he could even speak his mind, his mouth spoke for him. “You know it, my man. Gotta get this chest so huge it’ll break a bra in half,” Charlie grinned back involuntarily, his hand cupping his pecs, which caused him to moan.

The group of jocks laughed out loud, as Jack held onto Charlie’s shoulder. “Man, you gotta control yourself, no one’s gotta know you turn yourself on,” he replied. Charlie stared at Jack, noticing that he was taller and bulkier than his bully. That was a welcome sight for him, considering he wanted revenge for the set-up, but there was something about Jack being smaller yet still muscular that Charlie was starting to find… hot. The posse sauntered off, cackling amongst themselves as the jock-nerd ogled them, feeling more confused than he did earlier. Poor Charlie, if only he knew…

The hours flew by, and before Charlie knew it, it was nearly six. He sat down on a rock by the lake, tears in his eyes as he watched the sun set, the sky filled with gold and the water crashing against the rocks below him. “What’s the matter with me?” he asked himself, rubbing his reddened eyes with his bear-like paws.

“Bro, chillax, you’re a jock now,” a voice bellowed in his head. Charlie turned around, trying to figure out where this jock-voice came from.

“Let go, man. No need for smarts anymore when you’re this jacked.”

His breath got heavier as he realized it was coming from his own head. “But… this isn’t me! I’m not a musclehead. I’m not friends with Jack. I’m not…” he paused.

“What, gay as a three dollar bill?” the voice, which he assumed must be the Chad everyone thought he was, asked. Charlie nodded.

“I’m straight, I’m into girls,” he stuttered out, feeling even more confused as his mind conjured up an image of the jock who’d started all this.

Chad chuckled dumbly. “Dude, chicks don’t really care about our muscles, but the bros? Man, do they want a piece of the action. Don’t you wanna finally enjoy life and get to fuck someone?”

Charlie gulped. This jock persona was right, even though it was hard to listen to an oaf, even if he was in his own mind. “I… I guess…”

“Then let go man, don’t be such a pussy. You’ll get everything you ever dreamed of,” Chad replied, and Charlie felt his lips curl into a jock-like smirk. One full of confidence, as if he knew he was the shit.

Charlie was now, though, now that he really, really thought about it. He had muscles now, and big ones too. He looked like he could play for the college football team as a tight end or a quarterback with his size. His face looked like it’d been carved by the ancient Greeks or Michelangelo, with how sharp his features were.`As for the python swinging between his legs? Well, I bet Jack’s couldn’t even compare.

“I just don’t wanna be—”

“What, an asshole? An arrogant douchebag?”

“Bingo,” Charlie sighed. “It all feels so surreal, but I don’t wanna betray who I am.”

Chad laughed. “Bruh, trust me, I’m just as dopey and curious as you are. I’m you, just hotter, more confident… maybe dumber, but at least I use my body and my mind for what actually matters.”

“So I’m just supposed to let go—what the fuck??”

Charlie screamed, as he suddenly found himself in the middle of the campus gym, and in the middle of a rep on the incline bench. His arms lifted the barbell with ease.

“How’d I get here?” he asked himself.

“You talked too much, little dude, had to get to the gym in time,” Chad replied as Charlie watched his body betray him, pushing and grunting through a few more reps on the bench press before setting the barbell down and sitting upright. “Trust me man, you, me, we can be happy if we choose to be.” Charlie stood up and saw his humongous body in one of the mirrors on the wall, his mouth agape in wonder while he flexed his biceps. They were the size of his former head. As he flexed, he felt… content. Strong as fuck. Happy, even.

“There we go, little dude, you and I are gonna become one sexy Chad by the end of tonight,” Chad spoke with Charlie’s mouth, and Charlie… well, he understood now. Maybe this was just what he needed.

———

Chad kept up the push day workout, grueling through incline bench presses, cable flys, weighted tricep dips, dumbbell skull crushers… the list went on. Grinding through each rep, Charlie felt his muscles pump up even more, sending a thrill of strength and cockiness through him, while Chad grunted, fixing his bulge every now and again. As the pair-in-one-body sauntered around each machine, they felt eyes staring at them - some girls found him hot, others found him disgusting when his B.O. wafted into their noses, while the other dudes… they thirsted over his physique, complimenting him.

“Holy shit, bro, you look huge!” one gym bro said.

Another one replied, “Dude, you’re the real alpha here.” 

Chadlie smirked when a cute twink named Jamie came up to him and asked, “Um… excuse me, how do I work out to look just like you?” The twink’s bubble butt bounced, and Chad just wanted to plow his fuckstick inside that cute boy’s hole. Charlie stammered as he tried to give some tips, but he felt his hand cup the boy’s ass, squeezing that soft flesh between his fingers.

Jamie blushed scarlet. “W-would you wanna head to the showers?”

Chadie nodded, a sly grin on his face as he picked up the cutie and strutted to the locker room, grabbing a pair of towels and carrying Jamie into one of the private shower cubicles. Charlie couldn’t believe this was actually happening, but Chad could. The jock ripped off Jamie’s gym clothes off his slender body, while the very slutty twink got to work, peeling the stud’s shorts and jockstrap to the floor and getting onto his knees. Jamie licked the tip of Chadie’s cock, the jock shuddering in pleasure as his little boy guided his ten-inch monster through his dick-sucking lips and into his oh-so-perfectly-tight mouth. 

“Fuckkkkk bro,” Chad and Charlie both moaned, their body’s hand grabbing Jamie’s soft, curly hair, letting his fingers run through each lock before gripping the twink’s head, then slamming his cock further down his throat, his lips meeting the base of his jock cock. Every inch of Charlie’s resistance to becoming Chad was wearing down with each thrust of his hips, precum dripping into Jamie’s throat as the twink cupped his baseball-sized nuts and massaged them so nicely, he almost busted one. But they kept going, and once he felt like his dick had been lubed up enough by the amazing sloppy he was getting, he pulled Jamie’s head off and lifted the twink up, turning him around and bending his sweet ass over.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, slut,” Charlie whispered seductively into Jamie’s ear. Or was it Chad? It was unclear now who was who, as the nerd began to let the jock into him, letting go as he plowed Jamie’s ass raw. The twink whined like a bitch in heat as he couldn’t hold on for much longer, as Charlie kept ramming his cock against Jamie’s prostate so hard that he could only see stars. Jamie came from his tiny nub, but Chad kept going, fucking the cutie as if he were just a plaything, grunting like a beast as he neared his own climax.

“Holy shit bro, I’m gonna CUMMMMMM!” the jock shouted, as he blew a massive load inside Jamie’s tight ass, filling it up to the brim and letting it leak a bit out of the twink’s hole as he slid out. In his mind, Charlie’s and Chad’s minds melted together in orgasmic bliss, blending together to create a cocky yet dopey, dumb yet curious, straight-passing yet gay-as-fuck jock - the Chad everyone knew him to be. He took a deep breath as he turned the shower on, washing Jamie’s lithe body, while the cutie lathered up his huge muscles, kissing a few times, before drying each other up.

Jamie grabbed Chad’s phone and blushed as he typed in his number. “Call me, Chad.” The twink’s ass bounced hypnotically as he ran to his locker, got dressed, and headed out. Chad chuckled, cupping his bulge. He left a missed call for Jamie to save his contact, then got dressed in his gym clothes again, his scent barely erased by the shower he just had.

As Chad made his way back to his room, Will bumped into him, a slight blush on his frat-bro face. He looked up into Chad’s empty eyes and dumb grin, and noted them down in his head. “So, gave in to the jock life, Chad?” he asked.

“Dude, it’s soooo chill. No thoughts, just lifting, fucking, sleeping. I mean, I still have some smarts, but like, they’re all workout and nutrition shit, you feel me?” Chad replied, chuckling like the typical himbo he now was, as his fingers ran through his hair.

Will smirked. It worked. Charlie, or Chad now, could finally be his. But not just that, he seemed taller and bigger than ever. He moved closer to the jock he made, and smiled. “I get you, bro. Though, I have a question. You still into chicks?”

Chad let out a boastful laugh. “Nah man, dudes are the only ones who can appreciate all this,” he said as he gestured to his muscular body, his right arm flexed to show off.

“Is that so?” Will asked, flexing his own pecs to show off. “Then, mind if I say, I find you fucking hot, dude,” he whispered, cupping Chad’s bulge sexily. However, shock flooded his face when the jock pushed him off.

“Sorry, dude. I mean, you’re hot and all, but I’m only into cute twinks,” Chad replied with a firm frown, before sauntering off.

Will was confused as fuck. The Jock Bible promised him that anyone he turned into a jock would worship him, become his boyfriend and servant. Maybe that’s because he hadn’t read the footnotes - the fine print stated that whoever the converted jock would fuck first would be his desired lover. That was Jamie the twink. Now, Chad was dumb as a pile of rocks, but clearly, Will was dumber for missing this, and the Jock Bible weaved its magic into his mind, making sure he was dumb enough to forget about its existence and its powers, leaving him powerless and too dumb for college, that he soon dropped out.

And as for Chad? Well, with Jamie as his lover, and with his dopey confidence in life, who wouldn’t want to be like him?

———

Hello, Tumblr! I'm back with a new story after a long while - this one's a commission I'd been working on for some time now, though life had thrown me a few obstacles in getting it finished. Hope y'all enjoy this one!

If you're interested in commissioning a story from me, see my post on commissions here! If you can't or don't want to commission any stories, you can also tip me over on ko-fi.

[goldfades]

VALENTINE'S DAY ───── LAMELO BALL

free palestine carrd 🇵🇸 decolonize palestine site 🇵🇸 how you can help palestine | FREE PALESTINE!

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2k

⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | lamelo is never quiet type, and it extends to your relationship — because that's just who he is, and how he shows his love. this is how your valentine's day always goes.

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | lamelo being the best bf ever, and just fluffy stuff!

Every year, without fail, LaMelo Ball made Valentine’s Day his personal stage. It wasn’t just a day; it was an event. No matter what was going on—road games, media obligations, team practices—he always found a way to make sure you felt like the center of his universe.

The first time it happened, you thought it was a fluke. A ridiculous, over-the-top, early-relationship flex. You had barely been together for a few months when he sent a massive bouquet of roses—three dozen, deep red, wrapped in sleek black paper—to your apartment at exactly midnight. It came with a note in his messy, looping handwriting: First Valentine’s. Not the last.

By the second year, it became clear that this wasn’t just some honeymoon-phase thing. Because this time, it was an even bigger arrangement—lilies, peonies, and the same signature roses, towering in a glass vase you were pretty sure could double as a fish tank. That, and a diamond bracelet, which he clasped around your wrist himself with the type of satisfaction that said, Yeah, I did that.

The third year, you didn’t even try to act surprised when he went even bigger. It was just how he loved—bold, unfiltered, and grand.

And now, another Valentine’s was here.

You woke up to the first sign of it: the soft ding of a text notification. Still half-asleep, you reached for your phone, eyes squinting at the brightness of the screen.

Melo 💕 Morning, Valentine. Be ready by 7.

You exhaled a quiet laugh, already knowing what that meant. Because this wasn’t just a dinner reservation or a casual date. When LaMelo said “be ready,” he meant something’s coming, and it’s coming big.

You stretched, blinking up at the ceiling as the weight of his text settled in. Be ready by 7. No further explanation. No details. Just that.

But you already knew how this would go.

You swung your legs over the bed, running a hand through your hair as you sat up. The apartment was quiet, save for the soft hum of the heater kicking in. Outside, the city still felt half-asleep, the early morning light filtering in through your curtains in muted golds and grays.

And then—ding. Another text.

Melo 💕 Check the door.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the way your lips curled into a smile as you climbed out of bed, padding toward the front door. There was no need to check the peephole. You already knew what would be waiting on the other side.

When you pulled it open, the scent hit you first—sweet, floral, overwhelming in the best way.

There, standing proudly on your doorstep, was the kind of bouquet that would put entire wedding arrangements to shame. A mix of your favorites—full-bloom peonies, creamy garden roses, white orchids threaded between delicate baby’s breath, the kind of bouquet that looked like it belonged in the lobby of a five-star hotel rather than sitting outside your apartment door.

Tucked neatly between the stems was a black envelope, your name scrawled across the front in his signature handwriting. You already knew what it would say before you even opened it.

For my Valentine, You already know what today is. Get ready. —Melo ♡

You shook your head, laughing softly. Same Melo. Always.

But that was the thing about him. He didn’t just say he loved you—he made it felt like an undeniable fact, like the sky being blue or the sun rising every morning.

You pulled the bouquet inside carefully, placing it on the counter before heading toward your bathroom. If you had any hope of making it through whatever he had planned tonight, you needed to start getting ready now.

By the time the evening rolled around, the anticipation sat in your chest like static—warm, buzzing, something you couldn't quite shake.

You stood in front of your mirror, adjusting the clasp of your necklace. The dress he sent over fit like it had been made for you—because, knowing him, it probably had been. It was elegant but understated, the type of effortless glamour Melo always liked on you.

As if on cue, your phone vibrated on the counter.

Melo 💕 I’m outside.

With one last glance in the mirror, you grabbed your clutch and headed out.

When you stepped into the crisp night air, the first thing you saw was the car—a sleek black Rolls-Royce, engine humming low and steady like it had been idling there for a while.

And then, there was him.

LaMelo stood next to the car, leaning against the hood with his arms crossed, watching you. His chain caught the glow of the streetlights, and he was wearing that easy, knowing smirk—the one that told you he knew he had outdone himself again.

“You look good, baby,” he murmured as you stepped closer. His eyes dragged over you, slow and deliberate. “Like, real good.”

Your lips curved. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”

He chuckled, shaking his head before stepping forward, his hands finding your waist with the kind of ease that came from years of muscle memory. “You ready?”

You tilted your head. “Do I get any hints this time? Or are we sticking to the whole ‘mystery’ thing?”

Melo hummed, pretending to think about it. Then, with a grin, he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Nah. You’ll see.”

And with that, he opened the car door, the night stretching ahead like a promise.

You slid into the car, the scent of his cologne already wrapped thick in the air—something deep and smooth, a little woody, something that smelled expensive in the way Melo always did. The seats were buttery soft against your skin, and the hum of the engine felt impossibly steady beneath you, like the entire night was resting in the palm of his hand.

Melo climbed in next to you, one hand on the steering wheel, the other stretching across the center console to rest on your thigh like it belonged there. He always did that. A quiet reassurance. A you’re here, I’m here, that’s all that matters.

"Comfortable?" he asked, shooting you a quick glance, the ghost of a smirk tugging at his lips.

You ran a hand along the sleek leather of the seat, already knowing that whatever destination he had in mind, it was going to be as excessive as always. "Do I ever have a choice with you?"

He grinned at that. “Nope.”

The car pulled off smoothly, gliding onto the road with the kind of ease that came from Melo’s particular brand of living—never rushed, always in control, like everything was happening exactly how he wanted it to.

Outside, the city lights flickered past in a blur, neon signs and warm streetlights stretching across the skyline like scattered constellations. You stole a glance at him, the glow of the dashboard casting soft shadows over his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the relaxed set of his mouth.

LaMelo Ball, for all his flash and extravagance, was surprisingly quiet in moments like these. He never felt the need to fill silences with small talk, never rushed to explain himself. He let things breathe. And maybe that was why, even when he was spoiling you to the point of ridiculousness, it never felt performative. It was just him.

You let the silence linger for a beat before finally breaking it. “So, where are we going?”

Melo exhaled a laugh, shaking his head as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “Always with the questions.”

You shot him a look. “You can’t drop off a thousand-dollar bouquet at my door, send me a dress, pick me up in this—” you gestured to the ridiculously luxurious car— “and not expect me to be curious.”

He hummed, eyes still on the road. "You’ll see."

"You keep saying that," you muttered, crossing your arms.

He grinned, clearly entertained. “And yet, here you are. Still in the car. Still trusting me.”

You hated that he was right.

But it wasn’t long before you started to get an idea of where he was taking you. The roads shifted, the city lights fading into something quieter, more private. When the car slowed, your brows furrowed.

This wasn’t a restaurant.

This wasn’t some exclusive, celebrity-packed dining spot with a three-month waitlist.

This was—

“Melo,” you started, eyes widening as you took in the familiar gated entrance, the dimly lit pathway leading up to an impossibly grand rooftop setup. “Did you—?”

He only smirked as he pulled the car to a smooth stop, throwing it in park before turning to you fully.

“You like it?” he asked, a certain boyish pride lacing his voice.

Like it?

Your gaze swept over the setup visible through the open terrace doors—hundreds of twinkling string lights draped from above, the soft glow of candles flickering against crisp white table linens, a private chef already setting up by the terrace’s edge. The city skyline stretched endlessly in the background, hazy and golden in the distance.

It was perfect. It was ridiculous. It was him.

“Melo,” you whispered, still stunned.

He let out a small chuckle, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “I figured we’ve done the whole restaurant thing enough. Wanted to switch it up.”

You turned to him, still trying to process it all. “You booked out an entire rooftop just to ‘switch it up’?”

He shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah.”

The simplicity of it made your chest ache. Because this was how he loved—loud, effortless, like the world was his to shape and all he wanted to do was carve a space for you in it.

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. “You’re insane, you know that?”

Melo’s grin softened into something fonder, something quieter. “Maybe.” Then, with a tilt of his head, “Come on. Let me show you.”

The night unraveled in golden moments.

Dinner was perfect. The kind of perfect that made your chest feel full, warm. The chef had prepared a menu tailored specifically to the things Melo knew you loved—seared scallops with that buttery sauce you were obsessed with, truffle pasta that melted on your tongue, a dessert that felt almost too beautiful to eat.

Halfway through the meal, you caught Melo watching you, chin resting lazily in his palm, amusement flickering in his gaze.

“What?” you asked, setting your fork down.

He shook his head, lips twitching. “Nothin’. You’re just cute when you’re happy.”

Your face warmed instantly. “Oh my God, shut up.”

He laughed, leaning back in his chair, one hand stretching across the table to toy with your fingers. “Nah. Just facts.”

And then there was the gift.

Because, of course, there was always a gift.

You were halfway through your glass of wine when he slid a small velvet box onto the table, completely casual, as if he was passing you the salt.

You stared at it. “Melo.”

“What?” he said, ever-so-innocent.

“You did not.”

He arched a brow. “You gon’ open it, or you just gon’ keep yellin’ at me?”

Your heart pounded as you reached for the box, flipping it open with careful fingers.

Inside, nestled against plush velvet, was a necklace.

Not just any necklace—the necklace. The one you had pointed out months ago in passing, barely thinking twice about it, assuming it would be just another one of those it’s pretty, but it’s too much moments.

But Melo had remembered.

You looked up at him, eyes soft, stunned.

“LaMelo,” you murmured. “How did you—?”

He only smirked, already reaching over to take it from the box. “Turn around.”

You swallowed, doing as he said, heart stuttering as he gently brushed your hair aside. The metal was cool against your skin, the weight of it settling perfectly as he clasped it into place.

When you turned back around, he was already watching you, gaze flickering between your eyes and the necklace, as if making sure it belonged there.

You exhaled, shaking your head with a small, overwhelmed laugh. “You’re unbelievable.”

Melo grinned, leaning forward, his voice low, teasing. “And yet, here you are. Still trusting me.”

And just like that, you knew—he had won. Again.

[chibinasuu]

My Valentine | Killer x Reader

Summary: You got a mysterious note asking you to be their Valentine Tags: sfw, fluff, confession, no use of y/n, GN but written with F!reader in mind, reader wears lipstick (as many kid pirates do, of course)

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!”

Your face burned in embarrassment at Kid’s boisterous laughter. 

“Well, if I had a lover,” Wire interjected, “I sure wouldn’t need a whole day dedicated to proving how much I love them. I’ll simply show them every single day.”

Wire’s unexpectedly sweet words prompted Kid to fake-gag, while you groaned frustratedly, “The point is not to prove your love! It’s a day to celebrate love.” 

“Hmm,” Kid brought a finger to his chin, pretending like he was deep in thought, “Nah, I don’t get it.”

“You’re impossible,” You sighed, “We’re pirates, our days are full of violence and fights. Is it so bad to want some romance once in a while?”

“Ugh, when did you become such a sap?”

You gritted your teeth, “Well, you’ve always been an asshole, so I’m not surprised that you don’t understand!”

You flipped Kid off and stalked towards your cabin. 

Your face immediately found your pillow, your screams of frustration muffled in the soft fabric. Of course, your emotionally-stunted Captain wouldn’t understand. It was stupid of you to even talk about Valentine’s Day to Kid, of all people.

Warmth rose to your cheeks as the image of a certain blond unwittingly floated to the forefront of your mind. 

Now, he would understand. 

You knew that he would listen to all of your blabbering, no matter the topic, even if it was something as “ridiculous” as a Day of Love tradition from your home island.

Despite his covered face, you would know that he was hanging on to your every word from the way he would offer soft hums and small nods as you talked. 

You would know that he was listening attentively from the way he would ask questions, encouraging you to tell him more about whatever it was that you were chattering about.

Without intending to, a deep sleep eventually claimed you, bringing dreams filled with manes of luscious yellow hair and fleeting stripes of blue and white.

The sun had nearly completed its descent when you finally woke up from your unplanned nap.

You were groggily stretching your arms above your head when your gaze fell on a small note on the floor of your cabin, which appeared to have been slid from underneath your door. 

You padded over and picked the paper up curiously. A gasp left your lips when you saw what was written on it in slanted handwriting. 

Will you be my Valentine? 

Kitchen. 7 pm. Wear something nice.

You couldn’t deny that your heart started to beat a little faster at the invitation, but the rational part of your brain told your heart that something was weird about this.

As far as you knew, only two other people on this ship knew that today was Valentine’s Day, and by process of elimination, you came to the conclusion that this must be your idiot Captain messing with you. 

Who else would it be from?

The brief giddiness you felt was completely overtaken by a raging annoyance. Your fist clenched so tightly that it creased the little note, and you stormed out of your room to confront the redhead.  

“Kid!” You yelled as you burst into the kitchen, “I swear whatever cruel joke you’re playing here–“

You stopped in your tracks. 

It wasn’t your Captain waiting for you in the kitchen.

“Killer?”

The Massacre Soldier – clad in an apron – had his hands frozen midway through putting a lasagna-filled baking dish into the oven. 

“Hi.” He said awkwardly, “It’s, uh, not 7 pm yet.”

You could only stare at him as the gears in your head turned rapidly, “The note… it was you?”

Killer tried not to sound dejected when he replied, “Were you expecting someone else?”

“No! I thought– Well, um,” You continued to babble incoherently, taken aback that the person you had hoped for, but certainly not expected, was the one who wrote the note all along. 

Killer closed the oven door, fumbling a bit as he took off his mitts and quickly set the timer. He reached for something on the far side of the dining table – something that escaped your notice due to your surprise at this whole situation. 

“For you.”

Your breath hitched as he handed you a simple box tied with a red ribbon. 

“Dinner’s not ready yet, but these are, so…”

You felt Killer’s eyes following your every move through his mask, observing your reaction silently. 

You open the box to reveal a row of chocolate truffles, evenly dusted with dark cocoa powder. The shapes were a little bit lumpy, telling you that the sweet treats were likely handmade by Killer himself. 

A surge of joy overflowed through you, filling your body with a delicious warmth. How did he know that chocolates were such a fundamental part of Valentine’s Day in your hometown? You couldn’t believe this was happening.

And maybe you shouldn’t believe it.

Your brain cruelly shattered the euphoria that you were feeling. 

Right. Killer couldn’t have known about Valentine’s Day. Did Kid or Wire tell him? 

Was this some kind of sick prank that the three of them were playing on you? 

Or did he overhear your conversation and felt sorry that you didn’t have someone to spend this day with?

You couldn’t bear any of those thoughts being true, but you couldn’t really think up another explanation for this. Someone like Killer couldn’t possibly want to do anything remotely romantic for someone like you… right?

“Kil, I… I really appreciate this,” you finally said, “But I swear if you’re just doing this out of pity, or, or for a joke, then–”

“Pity? A joke?” Killer spitted out, “Where did that come from? What in the four goddamn blues are you talking about?”

He sounded legitimately confused, which in turn, made you confused.

With your face buried in your hands, you finally told him about your earlier conversation with Kid and Wire. When you were done explaining, Killer simply laughed out loud at your misguided suspicions, “You got it completely wrong.”

“Well, how did you know about Valentine’s Day, then?” You grumbled defensively, “Kid didn’t, so obviously the holiday is not celebrated on Kutsukku Island.”

Killer scratched the back of his neck bashfully. 

“I, uh, accidentally got a peek at your calendar a while ago.” He admitted, “I was looking for you, and your door was open, but you weren’t in your room.”

Your face burned, remembering that you had circled today’s date and wrote ‘Valentine’s Day’ in bold letters, with a bunch of little hearts drawn around it in red ink, “Oh.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop.”

Killer shrugged before continuing, “Obviously, I got curious. So, on the next island we docked at, I went to the library and did a little research.”

A smile crept up your face at the image of your hunk of a Commander, hunched over in the library with a book.

“Did you know Valentine’s Day is not only celebrated on your home island? Quite a lot of places in the Four Blues and the Grand Line celebrate it too.” 

You cocked your head, partly out of interest at the fact he just told you, partly out of amusement that he really took the time to read up on the holiday, just because of some little hearts on your calendar. And partly out of surprise too – you had never seen the Massacre Soldier act as nervous as he did now.

His hand started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he droned on and on, “The holiday’s known by different names, of course, and there are a lot of different traditions involved, but the consensus seems to be that it’s the perfect day to celebrate love with your partners.”

He took a shaky breath, and hesitantly, in a voice so soft you thought you were imagining it, he said, “And that it’s also a perfect day to… confess your feelings.”

It took more than a few seconds for his words to sink in. 

Your eyes widened like saucers when they finally did.

“…You have feelings for me?” You sputtered incredulously, “Why?”

Killer chuckled at the dumbstruck expression on your face, “Why would I not?” 

You gulped as his hand reached out to brush his fingers upon your hair, grazing your ear in the process, “You’re smart, funny, beautiful, brave. You never take shit from anyone. You take care of me and the crew a lot. I love talking and spending time with you. You’re the most wonderful person I know.”

His hands gripped your shoulders, as if begging you to see yourself the way he saw you.

“How could I not fall for you?”

You couldn’t see his face, but the sincerity in his voice alone was enough to choke you up.

You were speechless, so you just stood there with your mouth slightly gaping, staring in disbelief at the man you have had feelings for forever admitting that those feelings were mutual. 

As your stunned silence went on, Killer’s hands slackened from their hold on your shoulders, and he took a step back, mistakenly taking your reaction as rejection.

In a surge of panic, and with a boldness that came out of nowhere, you grabbed his metal-clad face and pulled him back towards you, planting a kiss right where his lips would be. 

You pulled away just as quickly, letting out an embarrassed chuckle when you saw that your lipstick had left a little kiss mark on his helmet. Your hand flew to the spot, but Killer caught it before your fingers could wipe the stain off.

“Killer, I–“

“If you want to kiss me,” His voice somehow sounded lower than it was a minute ago, “You better do it properly.”

And with that, he brought your hands to the sides of his head, guiding them in lifting the helmet off.

Your heartbeat quickened to a million beats per minute as Killer’s face was slowly revealed to you. 

First his goatee, then his purple-stained lips, his pointed nose. 

Killer shook his blond mane and set the helmet aside before finally meeting your gaze.

“Kil…” You reached out as if in a trance and gently caressed his cheek, gasping at the sight of his strikingly blue eyes, “You’re so beautiful.”

It admittedly made you giddy that you had now become one of the only few select people that Killer chose to show his face to.

Hell, if the world knew what he looked like underneath that mask, you were sure that a gaggle of women and men would chase him down to the ends of the Grand Line.

Killer grabbed your waist and stepped closer to you, leaving a mere inch between your chests. Both of your hearts were thumping so loudly that it was a miracle that the other couldn’t hear it.

He leaned in ever so slowly… then stopped, leaving it up to you to close the gap. 

You tentatively brushed your lips against his, and it felt like sparks had burst all over your chest, leaving tingles everywhere. You pressed your lips to his once more, a little bit firmer this time.

Killer couldn’t hold back any longer and tugged your body flush with his. His hand traveled to the back of your head, pulling you into a deeper kiss.

Your knees felt like jelly, and you would’ve been sprawled on the floor if it wasn’t for Killer’s steady arms holding you up. 

You could taste a hint of chocolate on his tongue – he must’ve spent so much time taste-testing to make the perfect batch of chocolates for you.

Both of you couldn’t get enough of each other now that you had gotten a taste, but of course, you were only humans, so you finally parted to properly get some air into your lungs.

Killer touched his forehead to yours and grinned, still slightly out of breath, “So, does this mean you’re my Valentine?”

“Yes, you big oaf.” You laughed, circling your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight embrace, “This year and the next, and for as long as you want me.”

The kitchen of the Victoria Punk never felt as warm as it was now, with you finally wrapped around Killer’s arms. A delicious aroma wafted from the oven, a reminder that a lovely meal for two was still waiting for you – and that your night had barely started. 

You wished it would never end.

a/n: i almost didn't finish this on time askdjksjdk i kept procrastinating because i didn’t quite know how i wanted to write killer, but i hope i did him justice! hope you enjoyed this little valentine treat, and i hope you're all having a great valentine's day, whether you're spending it with your partner, your friends, your family, or by yourself. have some chocolate and flowers from me 🍫💐

[muhlsworld]

LOVE

pairing: caitlin clark x fem!reader

synopsis: you and caitlin have a cute valentine’s day together

WARNINGS: just pure fluff

you can find the request here!

you had woken up earlier than normal. it was around 7:30am when you woke up and you felt a weight on the right side of your body. you turn to look and you see your beautiful girlfriend cuddled up into you.

since it was valentine’s day you decided you wanted to do something nice for her since she’s always doing things for you. you had decided to make caitlin breakfast before she woke up.

you had gotten out of bed with an incredible effort to not wake caitlin up. you quickly got dressed and headed to the store to buy some supplies. you bought ingredients to make pancakes, bacon, and eggs. you also wanted to get her some flowers and her favorite candy.

thankfully the store was right down the street from your apartment so it didn’t take you long to get back. once you entered your apartment you could tell caitlin was still asleep since the apartment was silent.

you quickly set down all the groceries in your kitchen. you grabbed a vase to put the flowers you got for her. you opted to get her simple red roses. you had the vase ready so you started making breakfast.

you started with bacon since it would take the longest. amidst you making the breakfast caitlin started waking up. she reached out for you but when she didn’t feel you she immediately got up. and the she smelled the bacon. her face lit up with a smile. she walked out of your shared bedroom and saw you in the kitchen making breakfast.

“good morning.” caitlin said scaring you a little. you weren’t expecting her to be up so soon. “good morning sleepyhead.” you said slightly laughing at her disheveled hair. “i was going to take you breakfast in bed but this is taking a lot longer than i expected.” you said point to the breakfast.

caitlin just stared at you lovingly. “that’s okay, we can eat together here.” she said as she looked at the table. and then she saw the flowers. “what are these?” caitlin asked smiling. “they’re for you baby.” you said. caitlin lifted them up and read the little note that you had written for her. caitlin’s heart was beating out of her chest. you weren’t expecting so thoughtful.

caitlin placed the flowers back down and came up to you. “thank you so much, i love you.” she said as she wrapped her arms around your waist from behind. you leaned back into her and smiled “i love you more.”

“come one let’s sit down, breakfast is ready.” you said and she started helping you plate the breakfast.

you guys had now finished breakfast and you were ready to give caitlin the gift you got her.

“i also got you something else.” you spoke up as you were cleaning the dishes. “babe you shouldn’t have, this was enough.” caitlin said. “i wanted to.” you said smiling at her as she cleaned the table. “let me just finish up and i’ll get it for you.” you said. caitlin simply hummed at your words.

once you finished the dishes you headed to your room to grab the gift from your dresser. you pulled out a long red velvety box. you came back to the living room where caitlin was now sitting. you saw that she had a gift for you as well.

“you didn’t think i wouldn’t get you anything did you?” she said smiling playfully. you smiled and hurried over to sit next to her on the couch.

“i want you to open yours first.” you said as you handed her the box you had. caitlin’s eyes beamed at the box. she opened it quickly and her breathe had disappeared from her lungs. it was a beautiful gold necklace. but not just any necklace, it was a locket.

“open it.” you said softly. caitlin did as you said and she opened the locket. it was a picture of the two of you from your freshman year at iowa. it was one of the pictures you had ever taken together. it was a pivotal moment in both of your lives, meeting each other.

caitlin’s eyes tears up as she looks up at you. “it’s beautiful, thank you so much.” she said as she pulled you into a hug. you hugged her back and then she spoke up.

“okay it’s your turn.” caitlin said sniffling and pulling apart from the hug.

she gave you a little gift bag and you were eager to open it. so you did. your eyes immediately teared up at the sight as well. it was a necklace that you had lost back in college. it was your moms and you were devastated when you lost it.

“one of the girls told me they found it in one of their old practice bags. so i got it back from them and well here it is.” caitlin said in one breathe slightly nervous since you hadn’t said anything.

you didn’t say anything, just pulled her into a deep and slow kiss. you pulled apart. “this is is the best thing you’ve ever done, thank you so much i love you.” you said and smiled.

it was now the evening and you and caitlin were getting ready for dinner. you had no idea she had made reservations for your favorite restaurant. you thought she’d be too busy to remember but she did. you were beyond happy to be spending the day with her.

caitlin was now driving you two to the restaurant. you were both silent just enjoying each others presence, light music playing in the background. you stared at her for a little being captivated by her beauty.

you guys arrived sooner than you expected but nevertheless you were ready for dinner.

you and caitlin had a great time at dinner. you guys shared a bottle of wine and enjoyed your dishes.

you guys arrived back to your shared apartment and you both got undressed and ready for bed.

you guys were now in bed. you were cuddled up into caitlin’s side. “thank you for dinner.” you said as you kissed her collarbone. caitlin hummed at the sensations. “thank you for this morning.” she said back to you.

you both slowly drifted off into sleep. you were incredibly happy with how today went. you could’ve have had a better girlfriend than caitlin.

A/N: i hope you enjoyed this one!! sorry it’s the day after valentines

[mixolya]

ᓚᘏᗢ — golden hours, golden hearts : chapter 025 !

a strange warmth enveloped you as you drifted into consciousness, your body feeling heavier than usual. it took a moment for your senses to fully awaken, but when they did, you immediately realized something was off. the floor was supposed to be cold and hard - but beneath you was soft, warm and undeniably comfortable.

your eyes shot open.

panic swelled in your chest as you took in your surroundings. the crisp white sheets. the faint scent of sae's cologne clinging to the fabric. and, most notably, the strong arm wrapped firmly around your waist, locking you in place.

oh.

oh hell no.

your breath hitched as you looked down, finding your leg tangled with his. his grip was secure, his body head seeping into yours as if you belonged there. worse yet, his face was nestled somewhere near your shoulder, his breaths slow and steady against your skin. he was completely and utterly asleep, but his hold on you was possessive - like he was afraid you'd disappear if he let go.

your mind raced.

how did this happen?

you were on the floor last night. how had you ended up here? had he pulled you up? had you climbed in unconsciously? no, that was impossible.

you swallowed hard, your body stiff with indecision.

should you move? but if you did, you risked waking him up and dealing with the inevitable teasing that would follow. yet if you stayed like this any longer, you were sure your heart would explode from how fast it was beating.

cautiously, you turned your head just slightly, trying to gauge his expression. his features were relaxed, his usual sharpness softened in sleep. he looked... peaceful.

for a fleeting moment, you considered letting him stay like this, just to see how much longer he'd hold onto you. but then you shook the thought away.

no.

you needed to get out of this situation before he woke up and made a comment that would haunt you for the rest of your life.

you took a deep breath, steeling yourself, before whispering, "sae."

no response.

you tried again, a bit more insistent this time. "sae, wake up."

he let out a low, sleepy hum but didn't budge. his grip, if anything, tightened slightly, like his subconscious refused to acknowledge your request.

your pulse hammered in your ears. "sae," you tried once more, your voice barely above a whisper, your breath fanning against his skin.

finally, you felt a shift, a slow blink against your shoulder. a soft exhale. and then, in a voice still laced with drowsiness, he muttered, "mmm... five more minutes."

your face burned.

"sae, get off," you hissed, your hands pressing weakly against his chest.

he didn't move. didn't even open his eyes. instead, his hold on you remained firm, his warmth seeping further into your skin, his presence overwhelming.

you were trapped.

your heart pounded against your ribs as you weighed your options. if you moved too suddenly, you might wake him up fully. but if you didn't, you'd be stuck like this - wrapped in his warmth, his steady breathing brushing against your skin, his hands resting securely against your waist.

biting your lip, you decided to try again, this time shifting slightly, hoping to untangle your leg from his without stirring him. bad idea.

as soon as you moved, his grip reflexively tightened, his arm pulling you closer against him as he buried his face deeper into the crook of your neck. a shiver ran dowm your spine at the feeling of his breath fanning against your skin.

"sae," you whined.

he hummed, his voice lower, softer. "you're warm."

you nearly choked on air.

this could not be happening.

"i- sae, let go," you said, your voice coming out a little too breathless than you wanted.

instead of responding, he sighed, his arm loosening just a fraction. you took the opportunity to shift, but before you could escape, his hands absentmindedly brushed against your side, sending an unintentional jolt of warmth through you.

"relax," he muttered, finally cracking one eye open. the sharp teal gaze, still clouded with sleep, met yours, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

then, the corner of his lips quirked up ever so slightly. "you're acting like i bite."

you glared at him, trying to ignore the way your heart betrayed you by hammering at full force. "get off. now."

sae exhaled a quiet laugh but, to your relief, finally released you, his arm slipping away as he rolled onto his back. immediately, you scrambled out of the bed, ignoring the way your skin felt oddly cold without his warmth.

standing at a safe distance, you pointed an accusing finger at him. "did you drag me into bed last night?"

he yawned, stretching lazily before looking at you. "you were shivering on the floor. also, you hugged me first."

your mouth parted, words failing you for a moment. he- you- what?

sae didn't give you time to process it, merely shutting his eyes again like he hadn't just shattered your resolve completely. "next time, don't be stubborn and sleep in the bed from the start."

you clenched your firsts, heat rushing to your feet as you turned on your heel, walking maybe a bit too fast toward the bathroom. "no."

behind you, sae's quiet chuckle followed, his voice laced with something dangerously close to amusement. "good morning to you too."

chapter 024 > here > chapter 026

taglist is open ! <3

back to golden hours, golden hearts

a/n: slowburn slowburn sorry guys!! also, i have winter holidays now so i'll try my best to finish this fast hehe

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[lo1k-diamonds]

A woman's best friend 💜 Part 2

PAIRING: Taehyung x (f)reader

SUMMARY: After falling into temptation once, you and Taehyung tried to navigate the aftermath as best as possible. It turns out none of you can handle it, so your friendship is bound to end one way or another.

WORD COUNT: 7,127 

GENRE: f2l, smut (uni AU setting)

RATING: R (explicit)

WARNINGS: mutual pining, angst, dirty talk, body worship, nipple play, oral (m receiving), fingering, protected sex

A.N. I know part 1 was bittersweet, and I am a sucker for happy endings, so here is part 2 with a shiny new ending for this couple 😚 I think it has the right vibe for Valentine's Day, enjoy! (Thank you to @eerieedits again for the awesome banner 💜)

Masterlist | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs | AO3 | Wattpad

The rhythmic thud thud on the window made you pull the curtain and look out the window. It was storming outside, and the night lights glistened as cars passed in the roads below and people enjoyed their Saturday night. 

Not you, though. Once, you had two types of Saturdays: the ones you’d go out with all your friends and the ones you’d stay home hanging out with Taehyung. Lately, you had neither, and it was all your fault.

You still remembered a night like this one. Turning away from the window, you let your gaze wander your living room. Back then, Physical: 100 kept playing on the TV screen for a long time, serving as background noise as you stayed in Taehyung’s arms. You lost track of time, then, staying awake and worrying about what that night would change.

You never discussed it further with Taehyung. He had fallen asleep, breathing gently with his arms around you, and you stayed perfectly still, aware of every ticking second. The conflict inside your chest was paralyzing — you didn’t want that night to end, but you also feared it continuing. The more you touched or interacted with him intimately, the harder everything would get. 

Those thoughts kept you awake, staring at the ceiling. So you recalled when the TV timed out and switched off, prompting you to go to the bathroom and come back only to find Taehyung exactly where you left him, naked with a blanket partially covering him as he slept. You didn’t regret slipping back into his embrace; you’d never get another chance. He wouldn’t know you had decided to return to his arms or how much you needed his warmth to calm down and fall asleep.

When you woke up, you found out a summer storm had broken out. It rained so much, then, but the same thud thud from the windows was unable to draw you away from his arms. All you could do was linger in his warmth for one second longer while you worried. Dreading and fearing how you’d ever look at him and not remember. How you’d brush each other and fake not having butterflies in your stomach. What if you saw him with someone else? How were you supposed to be his wing-woman again?

Of course, Taehyung had reacted the way you expected him to when he woke up. He chuckled at the pouring rain outside, happy that he had his leather jacket with him, and smiled dazzlingly when he saw you in a robe with your morning hair.

Then, before he left, he reassured you again, “Don’t worry about it.”

But you were yourself, and you had been right to worry. The problem wasn’t that you had slept together but that it had changed something inside your heart. Those feelings you once thought buried refused to vanish, the hope you once thought dead was alive and kicking, and to make things worse, you couldn’t forget.

Taehyung invited you for an ice cream, and you remembered what his eating you out felt like. He told you about this movie he wanted to see, and you knew what his baritone voice teasing you would sound like in the dark. He was excited about the new classes he was taking, even more so because you were there, too, and you shuddered at the memory of him kissing you as he came deep inside you, holding you so close you felt like a treasure. He promised to take you home when your group of friends decided to check out a new club, and you dreaded the whole night, both because he could choose to hook up with someone and because you wished that person could be you. Finally, he invited you to work on a group assignment together, and as you listened to him passionately go on about the topic, you wondered if you’d ever be able to reel your feelings back in.

You screwed yourself up over that one single weak moment. That yes had turned your life upside down, and while Taehyung kept his promise of being your best friend, you couldn’t.

So you did the only logical thing — you started avoiding him. It was inevitable — if his proximity made it impossible for you to get over him, then the only natural solution was not to have him close.

You weren’t sure he noticed, but you knew he was understanding. He never mentioned the situation and treated you like nothing happened. He never pushed to know why you started saying no to night outs or confronted you about being tired every time he invited you over. You were never able to invite him to come over and be alone again in that very same living room, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why, so it didn’t surprise you never asked about it.

In the end, it hurt you more than anyone. You were frustrated with yourself; you asked for this, it was all your doing. But you were helpless. Sometimes, you could act normal, and your interactions were playful and warm, as always. He poked you under the table? You knew there was a joke coming. Or he’d lean into your ear to whisper something, and your heart wouldn’t somersault and expect a caress. However, other times, you couldn’t help but withdraw your hand or avoid sitting next to him and letting such interactions bloom. Because you’d read into them or remember or wish for things to be different, and you hated it. Hated it all.

You were about to turn on the TV and search for something that could take your mind off him when the doorbell rang. You wondered if the neighbor had put the wrong door number on the food delivery again, but Taehyung was outside your door like an apparition. 

Despite his black leather jacket, he looked drenched and dejected. He raised his dark eyes to yours. “Hi, can I come in?”

You didn’t hesitate to reach out to pull him inside. “Of course, let me grab a towel!”

You let him enter your place first and close the door behind him, then rushed to your bathroom to get a towel. Only when you came back to the living room did you realize it was odd that he was there.

“Weren’t you supposed to go out with the others tonight?” you asked as you threw the towel over his head to dry his dripping hair. “How come you’re here?”

He grabbed your hands and pulled the towel away so he could face you. “I can’t take this anymore. We need to talk.”

“Alright! Who wants to drink what?”

Taehyung barely heard Jimin's question as your group of friends sat around on the couches and loveseats. That was their corner; they always sat there, and as he waited for everyone to settle down, his heart dropped. The loveseat you always shared with him was empty. You weren’t there again.

Taehyung asked about you quietly, trying to conceal the way his heart was squeezing inside his chest.

“She’s not coming,” Jimin answered, then shrugged. “Something about being tired.”

“She’s always tired lately!” Hoseok huffed as he sat next to Jungkook, who hummed.

“Maybe she’s sick?”

“When’s the last time we’ve seen her?” Jin wondered, and Namjoon sat on a beige pouf.

“Couple of weeks? Anyway, why are you asking?”

“You would know better than us,” Yoongi croaked with a quirk of his eyebrow. “Don’t you have classes with her?”

“Aren’t you best friends?”

Taehyung nodded absentmindedly as they resumed choosing their drinks, and the weight inside his chest didn’t relent. Yes, he saw you; he should know about you. He should be able to understand, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t. You were slipping between his fingers, and he just couldn’t sit idly by and watch it happen anymore.

“I gotta go.”

He rushed outside without hearing their protests, and the pouring rain greeted him. It wasn’t enough to dissuade him; he raised his leather jacket’s lapel to cover his neck and made his way in between the people trying to reach the nightbars and get cover from the rain. You lived fifteen minutes away; you were just within reach.

It was all his fault. He should have thought twice about crossing the line with you, even when you said yes. Not just for you, but for his own sake. That night was branded in his memory, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t move on from it. And he tried. He tried doing everything right. He tried pretending nothing happened, that he didn’t want anything more than friendship with you, that it wasn’t a big deal. He tried looking at you as purely as a friend would, and he tried looking at other people the way he knew he shouldn’t look at you. Yet, even in the few moments he was able to entertain the thought of someone else or get engrossed in a conversation with them, it was always the same. The moment you crossed his mind, he was reminded why it wouldn’t work. He’d be talking with someone clearly interested in him and instantly thinking about your kiss, your smile, your gaze as you kneeled before him, your teases. The person in front of him would touch his thigh, hinting at something more, and he’d instantly raise a wall. You were on his mind, and even if being friends was the only thing you wanted, it didn’t mean his heart or body wanted anyone else.

He craved you. That night wasn't just a dream or a type of heaven he wished had become permanent. It was a risk in every sense. He knew he wasn't just fucking you. He didn’t want just to leave you a slobbering mess, he wanted more. He wanted to look into your eyes and see it — the moment you'd realize how good you felt together. How perfect it was and could be. He wanted to look into your eyes and see the moment you'd fall in love with him.

And that was his biggest mistake. That one moment of pure greed — it wouldn't happen, he knew that. Even if you were curious about him, that wouldn't just happen. Best case scenario, you'd scratch the itch, be it for sex or curiosity, and move on. Worst case scenario, you'd regret it and never look at him the same way again.

He suspected the latter was happening despite his efforts. The whole night he had you in his arms, he struggled to enjoy it after the way you revealed your worries. His heart burned with a discomfort he couldn’t voice while he prayed that he wouldn’t lose you. That, no matter what happened, you'd stay in his life.

But he should have known. It was worse than a drunk one-night stand with someone from your friend group. You were best friends; of course, it was hard for you.

You started pulling away, and he instantly noticed. At first, it was the little things. You'd withdraw your hand from his or flinch ever so slightly when he leaned in closer. You didn’t invite him to spend time or the night in your apartment, just the two of you, and he understood why. The worst was that you withdrew from your typical antics and cut your smiles short. You’d be sitting next to him and not even look his way, and it withered his heart. Of course, when you did turn to him, he always had a smile for you. He wanted to be a comforting presence no matter how fleeting your interactions were, but still, it only got worse. 

It hurt when you avoided sitting next to him or dancing, and then you started disappearing. You didn't show up to all classes anymore, and you didn't hang out with your group of friends, at least not when he showed up. Then he'd text you to ask about it and notice that even through messages, things had changed. You texted less and less, and the distance was breaking his heart. 

He kept running through the stormy weather with his hair dripping down his forehead. He didn't care; nothing mattered at this point. It had been two weeks since he last saw you, and there were only three or four texts in between. What he feared was happening, it was undeniable, but he wouldn't go down without a fight. He needed to see you and try one last time. It would be his dying breath, but at least he'd try. For once, he'd bare his soul and hope you'd do the same and forgive him. He just didn't want to lose you. He loved you so much.

He crossed a delivery boy at your apartment building entrance and ran upstairs to consume some of that nervous energy. Then, he rang the doorbell, and you opened the door for him, and his heart convulsed. God, he missed you so desperately.

“Hi, can I come in?” he mumbled, lost in the sight of you in your robe that brought him such bittersweet memories. 

You pulled him inside without hesitating. “Of course, let me grab a towel!”

You closed the door behind him, and he took his shoes off so he wouldn’t make a puddle in your living room. Yet that was the last thought he had before where he was hit. That couch, that place. His heart ached again as he turned to you, and you threw a towel over his head.

“Weren’t you supposed to go out with the others tonight?” you asked as you patted the towel to dry his dripping hair. “How come you’re here?”

He grabbed your hands and pulled the towel away to face you. “I can’t take this anymore. We need to talk.”

He saw the second you tensed as the towel fell to the floor, but you didn't withdraw your hands, and he was not holding back.

“You said you didn't want things to change, and I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to hold onto you,” he said, pain lacing his voice. “But I can't if you keep pushing me away like this.”

He paused, looking at your startled and tense expression, waiting for you to say something, but you were frozen.

He lowered his hands but kept holding onto yours. “I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. If I pushed you to do something that made you uncomfortable with me. It's my fault, I got carried away with my own selfish feelings,” he confessed, tearing up with a sad smile. “I promise I won't ever touch you again or bring up anything inappropriate, so please.” He let go of your hands gently. “Please forgive me. Please say we can still do something about this because I can't— I don't want to lose you.”

His voice wobbled, and you frowned, shaking your head. 

“I’m the one who is sorry,” you managed to say despite the tears pushing to get out. “Because it’s my fault. My selfish feelings, not yours. I'm the one who said yes and then couldn’t handle it. I'm so sorry, I— I should have told you, but I— I’m so sorry—”

You stammered, rubbing your face in embarrassment, distraught. You needed to tell him; you couldn’t let him think he did something wrong. But what if he thought staying friends would worsen things and decided to end everything?

“Told me what?” he asked, anxiously stepping closer to you. “Please, tell me,” he requested softly, but you kept hiding your face. “Please.”

Your hands started shaking over your face, and he suddenly realized you were holding back your cry as you trembled.

His heart sank. “Did I hurt you? Fuck, I’m so sorry!”

You uncovered your face to look at him. “No, you didn't.”

He held his breath as he observed you cleaning your cheeks. “But you’re crying,” he pointed out, desolation tearing his chest. “I'm so sorry! I promise I won’t ever do it again!”

You wiped your cheek annoyedly and reached to grab his jacket. “Stop!”

“I never wanted to hurt you, I—”

“Stop it!”

“I won't ever touch you again, I just—”

“Stop saying that!”

He stayed put, no matter how angrily you held onto his jacket. “I’ll never forgive myself if—”

“STOP!” You had to shout and pull him to you so firmly that he stumbled in your direction. Desperation was taking hold of you as sobs shook you, but his disheartened eyes kept you focused. “You never hurt me, I don't want you to think that for a second!”

“But… you've distanced yourself from me.”

“I know,” you croaked, looking down at his lips curved sadly.

“You said you didn't want things to change.”

“I know…”

“You said you didn't want it to ruin our friendship.”

“I did…”

Taehyung waited for you to say something or look into his eyes again, but you didn't.

So he asked, “Did it?”

“Yes.” Your eyes finally rose from his lips, and you had to be truthful. “I can't be your friend anymore.”

Taehyung paled and stared at you, speechless, livid. His heart broke; his worst nightmare was—

“I look at you, and friendship doesn't begin to cover how I feel.”

“What?” He blinked, befuddled as his thought process stumbled on itself.

“I should have told you, but I never thought you’d— I knew it would be risky, but—” You licked your lips, having a hard time ordering your thoughts. “At that moment, when you asked, I just— Of course, I said yes, I— I’ve wanted you for so long, I— I should have known it would mess me up— I begged you not to let things change because I knew— I knew they would change for me, and—”

You were struggling to breathe and say everything you wanted, and he supported your arms as you held onto his jacket.

“You wanted me?” he asked softly, and you nodded. “What changed? Please… Please tell me.”

His gentle expression and supporting hands gave you the courage you needed. “Everything— everything changed,” you confessed. “I can’t look at you the same way. I can’t look at you without wanting to touch you or kiss you. I’m sorry, I—”

He cradled your cheeks suddenly and crashed his mouth to yours, and you whimpered ever so softly. You gripped him closer by his leather jacket and kissed him back, not hesitating for a second to meet his tongue with yours. You wanted to lick that taste back into your life, that warmth, that comfort you missed terribly.

You thought he felt the same way when he halted your kiss to a simple press of your mouths as though he needed to feel it. When he pulled away, his eyes were red and glistening, eying you with such emotion your heart trembled.

“You wanted to kiss me?” he asked, still cradling your cheeks.

“Yes.”

“To touch me?”

You nodded anxiously. “Yes.”

“That's what changed?”

“No.” You looked at his lips again before facing him. “I've always wanted to, but we were friends. Now, I just can't pretend anymore.”

“You mean… you don't see me as a friend?”

You shook your head still in his grasp.

“So you don't regret it?”

You could see him relaxing, his features soothing as you two talked, so you shook your head again. “I don't. Do you?”

“No,” he replied instantly, smiling. “I did when I thought you pulled away from me because I hurt you, but—”

“You didn't,” you assured again, pulling him closer. “Do you… Could you see us as more than friends?”

“Fuck yes,” he rasped, brushing your cheeks gently. “I want to be yours. I’ve wanted it for so long. There’s nothing else I want.”

“Really?”

Your eyes watered as you looked into his. Was this a dream?

He smirked. “Really. You better start believing it because if you let me into your bed again, I’m not leaving. Like ever.”

You chuckled and bit your lip. “If I invite you, I expect you to never leave. We cross the line and get rid of it. We say things that make us feel like more than just friends because we are more than—”

He crashed his lips into yours again, letting go of your jaw to pull you closer by the waist until your chests were glued. His leather jacket was still dripping from the rain, but you didn't care. If he kept kissing you like that, he wouldn't have it on for much longer anyway.

“Say it, then,” he mumbled between kisses. “You know the drill.”

You chuckled. “Do I?”

He hummed, chasing your lips.

“I only know the one to give you the green light to fuck me into a slobbering mess—”

His groan as he dragged his lips to your neck made you clench around nothing, and you bit your lip.

“But what if I don't want just to fuck?”

He pulled away to face you, with blown pupils and wet lips, held in check.

“What if I want to be yours?”

“I'll make you mine,” he promised, grabbing your hair on the back of your head so you'd face his dark eyes. “I'll make you forget ever not being mine.”

“In one of those five ways you thought of?”

Your whisper was not simply a tease, and you suspected he knew it when he groaned and leaned in to peck your lips.

“I've since thought of many more.”

He licked and nibbled your lips, and you had to close your eyes with the shudders.

“You thought about fucking me?”

“I haven't thought of fucking anyone else ever since I met you.”

Your cheeks burned as you snapped your eyes open. “What?”

“You heard me,” he murmured against your chin.

“But— I helped you— with that other guy—”

He shrugged. “Nothing happened. We got outside the bar and went our separate ways.”

“You never told me that!”

“Well, what could I say?” he said, speaking close enough to you that you could feel his breath on your lips. “That I wasn't really interested and went home to fuck my fist while I thought of you? I didn't think you'd appreciate that—”

It was your turn to grab his hair and pull him down to kiss you again, consuming just a little bit more. Your tongue darted out to lick, tease, and take, and he fought you with a low groan. Whatever you wanted, he wanted it too if it meant you were going to kiss him like that.

“You have— no idea— how much— that drives me crazy,” you managed to say between kisses. “The thought of you— thinking of me— fuck—”

He seemed to get an idea because his hands lowered to your ass to squeeze it, catching you when you jumped into his arms. You never stopped kissing, even as he walked with you in his hands, until your back hit a wall.

You didn't care how or where he fucked you as long as he did. Of course, your mouth was busy as you opened it more so he could deepen the kiss, so you couldn’t tell him. But you could show him in the way your legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him close. Your heavy breathing matched his as your hands explored and tried touching him everywhere you could, but his jacket was in the way. He likely felt the same, seeing the way he fought to open your robe and tried getting it out of the way so he could kiss down your neck into the cleavage of your pajama top.

You chuckled; the two of you were making things harder by trying to undress each other at the same time. His eyes crinkled as he matched your smile and gave you the lead. His lips trailed your jaw as you pulled your robe open and shrugged it back to give him access to your neck and collarbone. Your skin instantly drew his lips, allowing you to push his jacket off him while he was happily distracted. 

You tried to get rid of his sweater, too, but couldn't. As soon as his jacket hit the floor, he wrapped his arms around you again and buried his face between your tits, squeezing you to him so firmly you couldn’t breathe. However, you could feel the way he was rutting into you and it drew a quiet moan as you fisted his hair. 

Goosebumps ran over you as he licked your cleavage, dragging his tongue over every inch of skin he could reach, and you needed more. You released one hand to reach in between your bodies with the single goal of touching him, and it wasn't easy. His ruts were unpredictable, not leaving any space between you, but you needed to grasp his desire for you, feel it in the palm of your hand.

When he raised his lips to kiss you again, it gave you the opportunity to unbutton his jeans. His tongue pushed through your lips, deepening his kiss so much you moaned quietly, muffled. Yet it just complemented and amplified your urge to grab him, and you did.

Your hand finally reached inside his boxers to grab his dick and pull it out, and he groaned. Your hand clamped shut around him, fisting him unapologetically, and he had to break your lips apart to moan softly. You adored the way he held his breath, letting his forehead fall to yours as he closed his eyes, taking in everything you gave him. His sweet expression sparked your desire even further, so you kept pumping him, delighted with the precum dripping around your fingers and his knitted eyebrows.

You'd go to the last consequences of this with pleasure, but he suddenly grabbed your hand away and pressed himself to you. You were squished between the wall and his body, but you had zero reservations about it, especially when he kissed you like that. His mouth crushed yours as his hips thrust into you, jumpstarting a carnal hunger that consumed you. His hand dug under your pajama top, scratching your skin up to squeeze your tits, and you moaned, bucking your hips to match his. His tongue was so deep in your mouth that you were drooling, both desperate to moan and feel the tip of his cock rubbing against your unfortunately still-covered cunt. You were fucking desperate to have him, and you'd gladly cum right here and now if he filled you up.

“Tae,” you tried, barely able to part your lips from his. “I need you inside me, please.”

He moved in a flash, checking his pants were open enough to give him space before letting you stand to pull your pants down your legs.

You gripped his shoulders for support, then sighed when he leaned in to nip just under your ear. His fingers skimmed your wet folds before pushing two fingers in roughly, unleashing your moans as he touched all the right spots inside you.

You were so ready to blow you could feel the enthralling pleasure tingling in your nerve ends.

But somehow, you had a discerning thought. “Condom… Tae… Grab a condom.”

He stopped suckling on the skin of your neck to eye you with a lustful gaze.

“I'm not on the pill,” you whispered, brushing his luscious hair off his eyes. He looked absolutely dazzling, and you wanted him to fuck you till you couldn’t even stand, but you did not want accidents. Not yet, anyway.

He blinked, his hand pulling out of you to feel his pockets. “I… I don't have one. The last time… I never got another one.”

You chuckled and he pouted, and you could read his thoughts.

“Not like I planned for this to—”

You kissed him, then pushed him back to have space to move away from his hold. “I know, I'll get one.” He tried to catch you, but you jumped over your clothes gracefully, only turning back to tell him, “Bed. In my bed.’

You got to your roommate's room to search for condoms. Hopefully, she had some, even though she spent more time at her boyfriend’s than there.

It wasn't hard to find them on her nightstand, and you took the whole box with you. It was not like she'd need them tonight.

You wondered how Taehyung would greet you but still staggered at your bedroom's entrance. He was lying on his back, arms spread over your bed sheets as he stared at the ceiling. Having heard you come in, he raised his head and promptly sat up. 

Even though his pants were unbuttoned and his clothes drenched, nothing would have given away what you were doing just minutes before. Except perhaps his dark glistening eyes running up and down your figure before they set back on yours.

You were naked from the waist down, yet suddenly, it wasn't enough. His eyes were curious and electrifying, and you wanted to keep going. Your heart was thumping loudly inside your chest, the thrill of that moment making you tremble, but you waited.

He raised his hand for you to grab, and your heart finally settled as you took it. Your fingers fit in his perfectly, and as he hugged you to him, resting his head on your chest, you finally stopped trembling. On the contrary, you caressed his head calmly as he held you. It felt like reaching home at long last. It was the first time you were touching each other like that, with such vulnerability and with all the cards on the table, and yet it was the best type of feeling.

He pulled away to look up at you, and you caressed his face gently, letting that ease echo between the two of you. It was real — his hands on your waist, his sparkling eyes, and the adoration in them. You knew then that it was as validating and fulfilling for him as it was for you that you were finally in each other's arms.

“Did you find one?” he asked hoarsely, and you nodded. “Do you want to stop?”

“Hell no.”

You frowned, and he wetted his lips. “I don't want to move too fast and mess this up. I care so much about you.”

You brushed the back of your fingers down his cheeks sweetly. “Me too. But we're not moving too fast. Right? We've been friends forever, and we want to be more than that.”

He nodded, his eyelashes fluttering as he enjoyed your touch. “Please.”

“Then let's,” you whispered, leaning in to nuzzle him. “I don't want to wait.”

“Then we don't.”

He was ready to get up and touch you, but you simply smiled and pecked him before getting on your knees. You could see how his lips parted expectingly as his eyes transfixed on you, making you giddy. You gave him an excited smile and reached for the hem of his pants, and he helped you get them off. Then you bit your lip as you reached and grabbed his erection again.

His head dropped back at the softness of your touch as he mumbled your name, and you nodded. “I want to suck you off.”

You never thought you'd get another chance to grab that juicy cock, let alone delight yourself in its smoothness and taste. You would have admitted to Taehyung how much you thought and fantasized about a moment like that one, but the words evaporated from your mouth. Your only thought was his taste, and as soon as a precum drop glistened over his slit, you dove in.

You sighed as he groaned above your head, instantly grabbing your hair out of the way as you sucked. You didn't even realize how intensely you were doing it, bobbing your head so he'd touch the back of your throat, because you were out. His cock pushing inside your mouth made you anticipate how he'd feel inside your tight walls, and his moans made your mind soar high, elated. Taehyung, only the one you had wanted and had feelings for forever, was right there, losing his mind with you. Because of you. Because he wasn't indifferent to you. He actually wanted you just the same, had feelings for you, thought of you, longed for you—

“Fuck— Wait—”

His voice was strangled, but you weren't listening. You here so dazed, clenching around nothing and high on your desire, that you only realized the reason for his warning too late.

His warm taste invaded your mouth, and you moaned, gushing between your legs at the thought of him losing control. Yet, in a split second, his hand wrapped over yours around the base of his cock so tightly it was almost painful for you.

Only then did you stop blowing him and pulled away, confused, and looked between him and his delicious cock. You had tasted cum for sure, and yet despite the way his dick twitched in front of you, there was no more coming out. He was groaning harshly, almost frustratingly, but you knew by his expression that pleasure was assaulting his nerve ends.

When he finally stopped groaning, his dark eyes opened. “What do you think you're doing?”

His voice was quiet, almost annoyed, and you just blinked up at him.

“You didn't tell me to stop.”

“I told you to wait.”

You simply shrugged. “You did say something like that, I just… I told you I wanted to suck you off.”

“And I told you I'd make you mine.”

“You still can,” you argued as he grabbed your hands to pull you up and get you on the bed.

“Not if I came fully.”

You shrugged and let him pull your legs around him as you leaned back on the sheets. “We have all night.”

“We have forever,” he underlined, making you chuckle as he got on top of you in between your legs. “Starting right now.”

You could only be amused and giddy with his assertiveness about making you his, and he smiled too. He brushed his hands along your naked legs, then leaned in to kiss your neck as his fingers got tantalizingly close. You tensed under him, gripping his shoulders. You waited impatiently, expecting to feel his touch any second and wondering how he'd react when he found out how ready you were. 

“Holy shit,” he almost whined when his fingers slid along your slit. You moaned back, shuddering with his touch. You knew you were slippery and dripping, and now he did too. If the pool between your legs wasn't obvious, the sounds surely gave you away. “You're so ready for me.”

You moaned your agreement as you gripped the sheets. His fingers weren't eager like before; this time, he patiently dragged his digits along your folds, pressing gentle circles on your clit now and then. Your whole body trembled every time he did, letting his kisses and nibbles on your neck build you up so intensely that you didn't know what to do anymore. You were hot and trembling, and moaning just wasn't enough.

You gripped his hair in search of something, and his answer was to crash his lips to yours. The kiss turned consuming instantly, and you moaned into his mouth, completely overwhelmed. His fingers entered you and hooked, pressing into your sensitive flesh with lewd sounds, and you couldn’t hold on anymore. You tried whimpering his name in between kisses, and if anything, he firmly kept going with his fingers, both inside and out, over your clit. It drove you to pull his hair harshly back, parting your mouths with strings of saliva between you, yet you didn't notice. Your orgasm burst through you, and you lost sight of yourself, moaning desperately in his hold, gripping his hair so tightly, you surely pulled it painfully.

You noticed this when you came to, blinking at him sluggishly. Your fingers instantly relented their hold, yet absolutely nothing in his expression indicated any pain. On the contrary, he was enticed. He was looking at you as though you had bewitched him.

He raised his hand to brush the hair out of your face, careful not to use the fingers still covered in your slick. “You're so beautiful.”

You would have blushed if you weren't already hot and bothered. Instead, you met his lips with yours, kissing him more calmly than he was able to. You melted a bit more with how he matched your gentleness, careful not to push or impose. He was adorable, and you were not done yet.

“Too hot,” you whined when the kisses picked up steam. “Get rid of it,” you asked, pulling on his sweater.

He firmly pressed his lips to yours before rising to his knees and pulling the sweater off. Then, he saw you struggling with your robe and helped you. Your pajama top met the same fate as his clothes on the floor, and you giggled because before it could even happen, he was already grabbing your tits and licking a nipple wildly. 

Moans interrupted your laughter as he licked and pinched, slurping your hardened nipples inside his mouth one at a time. You squirmed under him, trying to both grab him close and escape the onslaught. The more you writhed, the more you felt his hard dick pressed to your thigh, leaking against it as he rutted.

It drove you fucking wild because no matter how much you enjoyed having him eat your chest, you craved him inside you so much more right now. “Make me yours,” you begged, locking your glistening eyes with his when he looked up from the drooling mess he was making on your chest. “Don’t wanna wait, I need you.”

You noticed the red spots his lips were leaving behind on your chest, but you didn’t care because, in an instant, he was kissing you again. He stole your breath, diving in while you relished his hands tracing your curves until they caught your legs, spreading them so he could press his dripping cock and grind against your soaked cunt.

You groaned, unable to control your bucking hips to match him. The quiet moans out of his mouth burned you from the inside out, setting you on a path that could only end in you both consuming that passion sizzling between you.

But he pulled away from your lips, hiding in your neck and panting heavily as you moaned. 

“Tell me where the condom is, or I’ll fuck you without it.”

You whimpered, feeling the way he slid across your folds length and rubbed your clit deliciously. “I’m so close.”

He uttered your name in a scold, the warning lingering as you kept bucking your hips. You opened your eyes to face him and bit your lip, so fucking close you could see it. You were tempted to throw all caution out the window and have him raw. To raise your hips so he’d get inside you right as you came around his thick cock, creaming him from tip to base. The very thought was risky; his current expression was already pure lust, holding on by a single thread. If you pushed him, he’d fuck you raw and right, just like you craved.

But you let your hips fall to the mattress and relented. “Right pocket of my robe.”

He felt the robe still under you and ended up raising his hips away from you before you’d both lose it. It made you sigh and feel beneath you as well, finally finding the crumpled part of the robe that had the pocket you both needed.

He tore the wrapper open with his teeth and got the condom on as fast as he could. When his eyes raised back to yours, and he grabbed your legs, pushing them to your sides, you clenched. His expression was dark and unreserved, as though the brakes had come off, and it made you shudder.

Yet when he aligned his dick with your entrance and sank in, he was nothing but respectful and careful, almost solemn. The way your tight embrace left him adrift was evident in the way his eyebrows knitted and his jaw hardened, but he didn’t ram inside you or let that feeling overcome his control. He waited for you to adjust to his size, but you kept clenching around him, prompting him to look at you. 

You had felt him before, but it was just as earth-shattering as the first time. You simply shook your head as you sighed. “You feel so good— Don’t hold back!”

He almost growled as he let his hips snap to yours, and you let your head fall back. Your hips matched his, increasing the intensity of each thrust, and it was wild. You got lost in the sounds of skin slapping and moans and the heat overwhelming you from the inside out. He adjusted your legs to bend further, perfecting his angle to one that simply unleashed your voice with every slam and let him guide you to the finish line. 

He knew you were close by the way your pussy sucked him in, tightening like a vice that barely let him move away. It made him tremble from head to toe as he groaned in your neck. “Just like last time— I've dreamed of this for so long,” he confessed, trying to kiss you, even as you both heaved and tried keeping that hallucinated rhythm.

“Me too,” you whimpered, searching for his eyes in the midst of it all. His hand wrapped around your hair, keeping your eyes on his as though he needed to look at you, too, and you squirmed with watering eyes. This time, you didn’t need to hide. This time, you could lose yourself because he was yours. “Please.” 

You mumbled his name between moans as you begged, and he listened. He was lost in the pleasure, but he was attentive to you, noticing all the little cues he was only once privy to. You moved with him as your eyes rolled back closed and your nails dug into his shoulders, and he felt the shattering orgasm start around his cock before he heard your moans.

Your orgasm started his out of nowhere, but as he grunted and trembled in your arms, he had only exhilaration radiating from every pore. He spilled his cum as deeply as your quivering heat allowed it but quickly and eagerly opened his eyes to look at you. You were still trembling and moaning breathily with your lip between your teeth, but then you looked at him, and he knew.

He’d never catch the moment you fell in love with him, because the truth was, you already had.

[14dyh]

Clueless | H.Z.

Pairing: Hange Zoë x reader Summary: Your research partner, Hange, is clueless about romance. Or so you thought. Content: just fluffy research partners trope A/N: i survived college hell week so here you go. HVD HANGE LOVERS!!

"I didn't know you could walk slower," you remarked as Hange strode beside you. 

Early training was exhausting, coupled with the paperwork you have to handle after. Just thinking about it drains your energy.

Your ever-energetic Section Commander only beamed at you and responded, "Well, I have to match your pace more often now."

"Why is that?"

"Since we became research partners?"

Your head racked in confusion, gaze snapping back to them.

"Research partners? Since when?"

"I knew you still haven't read Erwin's notice," they said matter-of-factly, pulling a folded sheet of paper from their uniform. "He thinks your works are impressive and said we should work together on a new trapping device."

"That... sounds exhausting..." 

"Right! Exciting, isn't it?" Hange smiled, too deep in their excitement that they misheard you. You can never keep up with that amount of enthusiasm, try as you might. 

After pulling an all-nighter last night to organize files, your commander now wants to transfer you to the thinking team. Great. 

"When are we going to start?" you asked Hange. 

-

It turns out that working closely with Hange would present unexpected issues. You have no problem with Hange or the work itself as being with them brightens your day more than you cared to admit. Sometimes you wonder why they're so good at making you smile and laugh even at the face of mathematical formulas and complex design structures but that's a question for another day. Your real musings lie on the question of why they're so clueless about people hitting on them. Surely, the box of chocolates left on their desk with hearts scribbled all over it or the cadets swooning over them when they passed by the corridor weren't just people being friendly as Hange always liked to think. 

This present issue became more clear when Valentine's Day arrived. To think that your lot makes time to celebrate this event is amusing. You were with Hange the whole time that day, brainstorming and sleepless that you almost forgot about the day of love happening just outside your doors. 

"What if we try it? You know, outside?" Hange offered, sipping on their fifth mug of coffee. "See if it works?"

"Hange, it's a long-range weapon. And there are people outside," you muttered sleepily, yawning as you walked towards the window to allow some sunlight in. You drew the curtains and looked down. "People celebrating apparently."

"For what?" Hange asked absentmindedly, busy scribbling down a few ideas that you probably have to illustrate later. 

"Dunno," you yawned again, drawing the blinds back. "I'm sleeping. You can't stop me."

"Go ahead," they said, thumb pointing at the bed. "I'll wake you up later."

-

When Hange woke you up about an hour later, you hid under their pillows and bargained for another five minutes of sleep. 

"No, silly, we're not going to work. I brought something," their voice came, lifting the pillows you're hiding on. 

Their brown eyes beamed at you, holding up something as your vision cleared. 

Chocolate? 

No, not just that. They've got an armful of it. 

"Where on earth did you get all of that?"

"Outside the door," they muttered, opening one to munch on it. They offered you one. "Surprising, huh?" 

"Well, it's Valentine's Day." You only remembered about a minute ago. 

"It is?" Their eyes widened momentarily. "I thought it's tomorrow."

You laughed softly, taking a chocolate from their hand. "We've been staring at plans all week, we didn't know."

"About time," they spoke, sitting on the spot next to you. Their eyes met yours and for a moment, you were tempted to look away as if gazing any longer will melt you in a puddle. It's not helping that they seemed to enjoy looking at you more than anything else recently. "Let's have dinner. There's a new dinner just outside the quarters."

"Did, uh, did we miss dinner downstairs?" 

"Yeah... I forgot about it." A sheepish grin crossed their face. "Doesn't matter, though. It's only 9 PM."

-

It turns out that diners were occupied that day, couples swarmed the place as the buttery scent of baked goods wafted in the air. After the long queue, you managed to take back four sandwiches which you ate in your shared room. 

Hange sat on the bed next to you, scribbling equations, crossing them out, and starting over again. It was adorable how their brows crease when they think.

"Hange?"

"Hm?"

"Shouldn't you sleep?"

They smiled, "Later."

"Happy Valentine's Day," you mumbled sleepily, curling up next to them.

"You too." Hange's gaze lingered on your sleeping form, thinking of the reservation for two they booked yesterday.

They stayed up late that night, writing down equations, and dimming the lamp to allow you some sleep. They were asleep until afternoon slumped over their papers which you diligently put away when you woke up that morning. You only understood half of what was written, guided by Hange's short annotations on the page. It warmed your insides, knowing that Hange wrote these equations for your designs. The invention you're both working on felt more feasible and easier to envision.

- 

"It's working well, Commander," you reported to Erwin later that day when he asked about the device's progress.

"It must have been, huh? Hange knows how to gather a great team," he smiled amicably. "They specifically requested for you."

Your cheeks heated up, smiling warmly even on your way out of Erwin's office.

Hange was waiting in the corridor, notebook discarded and eyes lighting up when they saw you. They half-run in your direction, energetic and beaming as always as though they had enough sleep.

"Ready to go?" They asked, walking beside you.

"Where?"

That same charming smile you always notice creased their cheeks.

"Maybe the diner has a seat for two this time."

[semihearts]

Wait you think I’m pretty?

Pairing: Thanos x reader

Summary: Thanos and you are childhood friends and joined the game together, when he almost mess up during a game for being too high, he understands that you cant loose him… because you love him

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hope you like this one!! Feel free to leave opinions and suggestions <3

༺ ༽♡༼ ༻

When you agreed on joining some shit game Thanos was talking about all week, you could never guess that they weren’t just normal games, but actually deadly ones.

-‘’Where the fuck did you get us in Thanos? I swear I’ll kill you”. -“Senorita relax!! This first game was easy, ,we’ll make out of here alive with all that money”.

You and Thanos are friends since you can remember, and honestly you can never get used to his weird personality and he still manages to get you surprised all the time. Of course he brought with him his necklace, which is full of surprises as well, but you didn’t expect that in a place like this, his first concern was to get high as hell.

During lights out, Thanos would get in your bed and lay with you, and you knew he never slept. Maybe its the effects of the drugs, but you like to believe that he’s taking care of you - and you’re actually correct, he could never sleep knowing that there’s even crazier people then him a few steps away, who knows what they would try to do to you if he weren’t close -.

During mingle, he always made sure to grab your hand and tried to stay focused, even though he was literally seeing rainbows and unicorns - all thanks to the colored pills on his cross-. When the robotic voice said Two, he already knew who to pick. You ran first to secure a room, but once you got there… where the fuck was Thanos?

In the middle of the room, there he was. Completely still, with a confused face, and lost eyes, is he out of his mind??

-‘’Thanos!! Thanos what the hell are you doing?” You screamed his name but it seemed like he was in another world

10, 9, 8…

You ran towards him, grabbed his arm and ran, of course there was people getting in the room you secured before, as you had to leave it. Thanos was clearly off, his life was in a thin line and he had no reaction or expression. This game is about surviving, even if it means killing others, and that’s the thought you stuck to.

Using all your willpower, you managed to push those players out of the room and drag Thanos inside, locking the door.

-“Thanos!” Nothing -“Thanos!!” Nothing -“Su-bong!” His eyes were immediately on you.

Like he just woke up from a bad dream, his eyes found yours, he was awake. You never called him by his real name, which is almost dead to him, he is Thanos, that’s him now, he’s way happier being this new person.

‘’What- what just happened? Oh my God Senorita I’m literally sooo high right now-“

‘’Im tired of this, really Thanos. You could’ve died right there, all thanks to these stupid pills. But of course you never listen to me when I tell you to not use them before a game. I don’t know why out of everyone I chose to love you! You’re a complete idiot”.

“Wait did you just confess?”

“That you’re a jerk?”

“Nah fuck that, you just said that you love me girl”.

[squishygirl46]

Hi everyone, this is a story about my deepest fantasies and dreams. It will be written about me Let me know if you like it. Part one: the beginning.

God, I don't know where I am, some man left a camera in the room and said I had to speak my mind on it or I would be killed. The last thing I remember is leaving the house to go to the store. Now I'm here and I don't know what's going on, I'm so scared….. There's only one dim lamp in this room, a big bed, a toilet, a speaker on the wall and a door. I'm probably going to be killed or raped, I don't know, I'm so scared. Suddenly a masked man came into the room, carrying a scale and a camera.

- Hi said: Get on the scale and take off your clothes. I obediently did everything he ordered. Completely naked I stood on the scale which said 45 kilograms(99 pounds). -You're skinny, now stand against the wall and turn sideways. I went to the wall and turned around, then he told me to stand in front of him and he was taking pictures. What a shame… But I can't help it, I'm so scared. After this strange photo shoot and weighing, the man left. I don't know how much time had passed, but I was very hungry. Luckily the man came back soon and brought a huge tray of food on a gurney. Fried chicken, potatoes, meat pies, pancakes, brownies and cake. There were also several bottles of soda and some pills.

-Whoa, why so much food, I can't eat that much. -No one's asking you. He told me to take two pills and a soda. After I drank them he left and closed the door behind him. I started eating and as usual I got full very quickly, literally after a couple wings my little tummy was full and I laid down to rest and fell asleep, I don't know how long I slept but after I woke up the food was still there and I was very very very hungry…. I started eating again. A few wings, then a brownie, washed it all down with soda, then wings again, then potatoes and then soda again… I could feel my stomach filling up, but the hunger didn't go away, and only after 30 minutes of eating and stopped for breath…. -Oh, God, what was that just now? -Ufff. I mumbled. I looked at the tray, it was covered in leftovers. I put my head down and saw that my stomach was protruding very much, as if I had been inflated like a car tire…. And it was so hard. I was very thin and this protuberance really stood out. I laid back on the bed and dozed off….. When I woke up, the tray was gone, but on the wall were my pictures and a graph with my weight written on it. God, what does that mean, am I being fattened up? I've always worked hard on my figure, I don't want to be fat, I need to exercise to burn off the calories from that gluttony. I got out of bed and started doing exercises, 50 squats, 10 push-ups and 50 abs, then I rested and did them again.

-Fuuuuh, now we can have a little snack, as long as we don't eat too much. Right after these words, this man came in again with a tray, this time there were mountains of fast food, 5 big burgers, a bucket of fries, wings, nuggets, and 2 bottles of coke. -Oh my god, I'm not allowed to eat that, I've always avoided fast food in my life-. But the man silently handed me two pills. -No, I won't take them, they make me unable to stop eating! In response to these words, he just took them and put them in my mouth, then clamped my nose and poured cola into my mouth, I had to swallow them…. -Good appetite- he said and left. I decided that a little fast food wouldn't hurt my figure, especially if I kept doing exercises, or even more exercises, yes, it wouldn't hurt. I took the smallest burger I could find and took a bite. -God, this is so good,” I said with my mouth full. And a wave of warmth spread through my body. -Yeah, one burger wouldn't hurt me. -Yeah. But I couldn't stop at one, as soon as I finished it I took a Coke to drink, I thought I'd just drink a little bit, but I started gulping it down greedily, like I hadn't had a drink in a year. I only stopped when I had half a bottle. Right after that, I went on a food binge. A burger, another one, fries, nuggets, all dipped in sauce and swallowed before I could chew. After 30 minutes of such piggishness, I felt nauseous and almost threw up. I decided to lie down and rest.

-I ate a ton of food again, my God, what am I turning into, but ok, I'll exercise some more and everything will be fine. I put my hand on my warm, bloated tummy and fell asleep. When I woke up I thought it would be a good idea to exercise. Like last time I got up and started squatting, but I stopped at 30 reps and sat on the bed…. The leftovers were beckoning me… -Okay, I've done enough, I can have a snack. I finished everything on the tray and went back to sleep… It went on like that for about two weeks

[xoxoaugust]

look both ways (when you cross my mind)

pt 2. of See You Again

in which: After meeting again, Sae can't stop thinking about you. Wondering if you look both ways when you cross his mind.

an: guys i'm giggling

wc: 1.7k

That night, Sae stayed up for a bit staring at the messages you had exchanged. He couldn't stop thinking about you. You had changed, but your essence lingered like washed out cologne. You were still kind, but guarded; still humble, but confident. You seemed happy, at peace, without him in your life. That's what he thought, but he couldn't be more wrong. Sure, you were happy and at peace, but he would never know about the late nights, wistful dreams plaguing your mind like a disease spreading throughout the corners of your brain. He'd never know the guilt you felt after scolding him so mercilessly, and you'd never know that he'd forgiven you ages ago.

You were both just fools, fools whose biggest weakness would be communication, just longing for each other endlessly.

You stared at the ceiling of your half decorated apartment. By half decorated, you meant nearly empty. Aside from the necessary furniture and appliances, you had maybe a few pictures of friends and family on your walls. You glanced at the photo of you and Rin at his high school graduation , the one Sae wasn't there for.

Part of you resented Sae, the way he treated Rin after Spain was uncalled for. But part of you could never even attempt to hate him. Maybe you resented him to protect yourself, protecting your heart from the only person you'd ever give it to. Not wanting to be left like scraps, you shut off any and all communication.

The morning after, you woke up with a throbbing headache. Thinking too hard about the last couple days. You got up and got the day started with the little cafe just down the block. You walked with your shoulder bag full of your notebooks, your laptop, your pens and pencils, and headphones nestled comfortably on your head.

Walking in, you greet the little old lady who owned the cafe, and the girl around your age who worked there. You had befriended her after finding out she went to the same university as you. Her name was Rumi, she was a kind, and pretty girl with a longing to be a fashion designer.

"[Name]! It's nice to see you again! The usual?"

You stared at the menu, before looking back at her.

"Can I have my regular matcha, but can I have a smoothie bowl instead? You can pick the flavor, I trust you". You beamed.

She rung you up and handed you the matcha before running off the make your bowl.

As you sat down at your table, you thought about Sae. Would he come to see if you were here? Or would he just not bother?

"This is about that guy, right?" Rumi smiled playfully.

You looked up at her, meeting her eyes as she sat down in front of you.

"Yeah, he's cute, I could tell he was into you. He's not my type but you and him, my god a match made in heaven." She sighed charmingly.

"I don't like him, he's just and old neighbor of mine that happened to be here, no big deal." You said trying to cover the heat crawling up to your face.

Rumi looked at you like you had grown another head.

"Are you kidding me? [Name] , that boy is so in love with you. I've seen him around so many times, he always justs gets his drink and meal then sits at the corner table for like five minutes and then leaves. He doesn't talk to anyone, and he hasn't until you showed up."

You couldn't help the childish upturn of the corners of your mouth. You had spent so much of your childhood longing for Sae to reciprocate the puppy love feelings you had, but it never happened. Now, these feelings left a sickeningly bittersweet memory to relive in your mind.

You zoned out until the bell on the door rang. The person walked into the shop quietly, it was none other than Sae Itoshi.

Rumi looked at you smugly before getting up to take his order.

He ordered his regular unsweetened matcha and a fruit bowl. He walks over to where he usually sits, internally giving himself a high five because he was counting on you being there. Instead of sitting at the table next to it, he sat down right in front of you.

You looked up, baffled. You couldn’t tell if you were excited, or appalled at his audacity. Probably both if you’re being honest.

“Hi Sae, is there something you need or…?”

He simply took a sip of his drink before meeting your gaze and replying.

“I just wanted to sit here, if it’s bothering you I can move.” Said blankly, most likely in good faith but his tone wasn’t helping.

You smiled to yourself, same old Sae.

“You can sit here, just don’t be annoying.” You said, sarcastically.

You two sat in comfortable silence for maybe half an hour, before you broke the silence.

“How have you been? Haven’t heard from you in quite some time.”

He looked up, and you couldn’t help but think about how freaking cute he still is.

“We saw each other like yesterday, I’m the same as I was I guess.”

You sigh, he’s still painfully oblivious, and socially inept.

“You know that’s not what I meant, how has Spain treated you so far? Anything I should look out for?”

You asked even though you had already been here before, you just needed conversation starters.

He paused to think. He knew that your question was most likely hand in hand by how he acted towards you and Rin when he went back to Japan for the first time.

“Not really, it’s pretty nice here. It does make you pretty homesick though.”

Well that caught your attention.

“Did you get homesick after coming here?” You asked out of genuine curiosity.

“I did, it was bad for a while. I missed you and Rin, I missed my parents. I missed the food too, eventually it stopped.”

You felt a pit in your stomach, it must’ve been so hard to be in a whole different country by yourself at the age of 13. You felt your heart soften.

“You could’ve called me y’know, Rin and I would’ve dropped everything just to talk to you more often.”

“I did call”

“Yeah maybe twice!” You laughed.

God that laugh, he could never get enough of it. He missed your smile the most, of course he missed your company, but he could stare at that smile for hours and never get tired of it.

“We should stay in touch.” You proposed, hopefully might I add.

“We have each other’s numbers right?” He said monotonously.

“I mean like hang out, like we used to.” You said softly.

“Okay, where do you want to go?”

You looked at your watch. “Right now?”

Sae looked confused.

“Yeah, I don’t have practice tonight, we can go somewhere if you’d like.”

You thought about it, it had been maybe a year and a half since you’ve been to Spain. You managed to get a scholarship, but you never told Sae about it. Maybe the place has changed a lot since you left.

“You should give a tour, like what’s new here?”

He nodded before getting up to help you pack your things. Ever so the gentleman.

You grabbed your matcha before glancing back at Rumi, who was giggling and mouthing ‘I told you so’.

As you walked around the area Sae brought you to, you could help but feel nostalgic. I mean taking away the fact that Rin wasn’t here, you felt like the young girl would walk around with Sae all the time.

He would point out his favorite places in the small shopping center. His favorite bookstore, favorite restaurants, favorite clothing stores that he would go to maybe every 6 months. You were listening, partially. You kept looking at him, probably with heart eyes.

You finally settled near the park, until, you felt a drop of water hit your arm.

It was raining, and the downpour was picking up.

Sae grabbed your arm and pulled you to the nearest shade.

“My place is around here, if you’re okay with it we can head over there and wait until the rain slows down.”

You nodded and he grabbed your hand before dashing towards the building. You felt the heat creep up to your face before the two of you slowed down to enter the lobby.

He grabbed his keycard and scanned the elevator lock, walking inside with your hand still in his. When you got situated into the elevator, you let go of his hand, trying to warm yourself up by rubbing your arms.

He glanced over at you once before removing his jacket and offering it to you by holding it out in your direction.

"Sae I appreciate it but i'm okay, you don't need to give me your jacket." You smiled, still shivering.

"I want to, we're about to get there anyways, wear it until we get there so you don't feel cold."

You hesitantly took his jacket and placed it over your shoulders.

He kept glancing over to see you wearing his jacket, god he thought you looked adorable.

The elevator dinged and you walked out of the elevator, still wearing his jacket. He guided you to the massive door and opened it with his card. You couldn't believe your eyes, his penthouse was actually huge. It was so Sae, clean and tidy, everything was in it's place, though it felt lonely, there was a warm feeling about it. You took off his jacket and placed it on the coat hanger right next to the door before exploring the main area.

"Sae you cannot be serious right now. Who needs a bar in their house? Do you even drink?"

"Not really, there's coffee machines too if you want some."

You rolled your eyes so loudly.

The main room was beautiful, clean cream colored leather couches with red and maroon decorative pillows placed neatly in each corner, glass coffee tables and a fireplace. It was the typical millionaire side residence.

"Do you want something to drink? We have two hours to kill."

Your eyes bulged out of your head. TWO HOURS?!

"Uh i'll have anything, I don't mind."

He nodded before getting to work. You couldn't lie, he looked really good right now. His athletic long sleeve shirt pushed up to his forearms and his hair slightly damp.

As good as he looked, you did not know what to do, how were you going to stay here for two whole hours? You prayed there was a merciful god to strike you down this instant.

xoxo, august

an: sorry this feels so rushed, but I want to turn this into a series. I really like the idea of each Tyler lyric being a new chapter, so stay tuned !

[mttonex]

if you're still doing art requests could you draw tophabe as ponies..... pretty pls....I'm in love with the way u draw ponies your designs are so cute and make me want to create my own.....

THANK U!!! I'm so happy other people like my ponies as much as i do :3

also yes.. join me in clone pony hell.....

here are their full designs btw 😁😁😁

ok now explaining their cutie marks bc i felt smart for coming up with them:

Abe's is supposed to be a combination of a top hat and lighthouse. A top hat for what i hope are obvious reasons, and lighthouse because his house has lighthouse decor literally everywhere (he doesn't have any of the decor in his room though, so it might just be his foster parents who really like lighthouses but idc let me have this) I also thought just having a top hat as his cutie mark would be too boring so I wanted to add something extra to it lol. The hat kinda gets lost in the design tho and I don't really think people would see it if I didn't point it out but WHATEVERR (note from after I finished writing this: I just remembered Joan's...dream and Abe's lighthouse impression from the sleepover episode, that was NOT intentional 😭😭😭😭😭)

Topher's cutie mark is a horseshoe surrounding the earth, meant to look like a globe. The earth is pear-shaped because Topher has a globe in his room and it looks like that 😭 Also the horseshoe looks like the letter C.... like.... Christopher Columbus..... In this au or whatever I hc he got his cutie mark when he was younger, and when Christopher Columbus got "cancelled" he started covering it up, like how he changed his name (also this implies that all the clone parents are real and ponies in this universe which I think is really funny) Topher's fake cutie mark is a rainbow because of his whole woke ally thing he's got going on 💀 Also a fake cutie mark because he's fake woke...do u get me

um anyway sorry for rambling bye😁

[harmonic-intervention]

It's a long way back to you

"I need you to be brave one more time. And come back to me."

And we're back with the fix-its. I've been writing on four different WIPs - that's why it's taking me so long to finish a single one. But here we go.

Word count: 15,170 - getting back together, near death experiences, coma, it's tommy's turn to see how he affected people

Excerpt:

Tommy woke up in utter comfort. The room was dark, the there was a mountain of pillows around him, and there was not a single ache to be felt in his body. He took a deep breath and let it out, content to just lie there and doze a bit. Until Odin would come to remind him of his feeding time, that was.

He closed his eyes, not bothering to try and check the time. His brain was a little foggy, still, and if there was no alarm set, that meant Tommy had a late shift. He could sleep in a little bit, or at least relax until the day officially started with the screams of his beloved cat.

Only he realized, at some point, that enough time must have passed. Odin should be scratching at the door like a lunatic. He’d stopped doing it with claws out, but he had found the right amount of pressure to make a truly awful sound against the wood that grated on Tommy’s nerves enough to chase him out of bed in record time.

With a furrowed brow, Tommy threw the covers off and moved into an upright position. He fumbled around for the light on his nightstand, and that was where things started being strange. Well, stranger than his little cat buddy missing the opportunity to scream at him.

He couldn’t find the switch for his lamp. He felt along the cord, but it was nowhere to be found. He furrowed his brow. He was pretty sure switches couldn’t just disappear, but no matter how many times he tried, he couldn’t find it. Finally, he fumbled around for his phone to use the light from the lock screen. The lamp was different. It didn’t have a switch on the cord, but a little string to pull on.

What the hell?

Tommy turned off his phone without taking a look on the screen. He pulled on the string, and light illuminated the room, and Tommy quickly took notice of all the other things that made absolutely no sense at all.

This wasn’t his room. This wasn’t his furniture. The closet was gone, replaced by a sliding door. The door and the window had switched sides. Speaking of the window, there were still blackout blinds on it, but it was much larger than the one he was used to. On the other side, in a corner, was another door. Maybe a bathroom? Tommy’s room definitely didn’t have a bathroom connected.

What was going on?

He tried to remember what he’d done the night before, but he came up blank. He’d been- he’d been at home, right? Had he gotten black-out drunk and gone home with someone? But- no, he wouldn’t do that, because Odin needed to be fed. Even at his drunkest, Tommy always remembered that he had to get home and feed Odin.

He got up, realizing that he was dressed in his usual sleepwear – sweatpants and a sleeveless top. Something wasn’t right. As soon as he stood up, his head felt worse, foggier and heavier than before.

With a deep breath, took a step forward, and when he didn’t immediately collapse, he kept at it, opening the door. He half expected someone to jump him as soon as he stepped out, but nothing happened. He looked around the hallway, but there was nothing that sparked a moment of recognition.

He decided to walk down the hall to where he could see the top of a staircase, and went down with quiet steps. When he was a child, he’d perfected a near silent gait when that became one of the things that kept him from getting the shit kicked out of him.

Downstairs, he wondered if he should just make a break for it and get to the front door and out of this house before whoever lived here found him, but just as that thought crossed his mind, he heard a little meow from the floor and he felt two small paws standing on the back of his foot.

He looked down, a smile already on his face, and it only brightened at the sight of a cute little calico rubbing her head against his shin. He lowered himself down and offered his hand which she accepted readily, nuzzling into the palm of his hand.

“Hi there,” he murmured. “Who’re you?”

She purred in reply, and he was about to right himself up when a voice spoke from close-by, a voice he knew too well and loved too much for what happened, and he almost jumped right of his skin.

“Morning, honey.”

[continue on ao3]

[riovidql]

i thought that i was dreaming when you said you loved me — AGATHARIO

“Honey, I’m home!” Rio said as she walked through the door, getting out of her shoes and losing her coat. “God, you will not believe the day I had. I swear, one of these days it will be proven that stupidity can kill. Then I will finally have pea- Agatha…?” She stops, because Agatha is nowhere to be seen, or felt, for that matter. What the fuck?

“Uhm, Agatha? Scratchy?” She shouts. No answer. Fuck. “Fuck, did I walk into the wrong apartment again?” But then a little ball of fur comes running down the hall, stopping precisely in front of her. She kneels down. “Hey, bunny. Where’s your mama?” She, funny enough, scratches behind Scratchy’s ear as she picks him up. He looks like he knows, but won’t tell. Well, of course he won’t tell me where she is, he can’t talk.

“Okay… Scavenger hunt it is then. And you,” she looks directly into his eyes. “Are coming with me. Agatha won’t murder, burn, bite or whatever she’s… We’re… Uhm. She behaves when you’re around! You’re my shield, is what I’m saying. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Agathaaa! Where the fuck are you?”

She looked everywhere. Even under the rugs. A woman could never be too safe. And honestly, it’s Agatha. And Rio could, obviously, try her phone. But one thing about Agatha Harkness is she absolutely, completely, despises phones. And technology over all; (some will say it’s because she doesn’t know how to use it, she will deny profusely, she just is above it).

Rio was tired. She had a long ass day at work, and she needed sleep, and no one could argue she did not look for her wife, Señor Scratchy was witness. Though that rabbit always chose her wife’s side anyway. Useless, traitor bunny. But she did send her a text, though.

As she laid down on the couch, with the little pet comfortably under her chin and the low, background noise of the TV, she dozed off. She wouldn’t know what time that actually happened or how long she was napping for… People were taking longer to get to the fucking point, traffic was ass, the elevator was broken so she had to take the stairs, and this nosy neighbor stopped her for unsolicited advice, boring gossip. And she still had to go look for Agatha. If you asked Rio, she would say that day had approximately 87 hours. And counting.

And as if it couldn’t get worse, she woke up from her sleep with a killer headache. National Fuck Rio Vidal Day, fuck me. ‘Did Agatha at least get home?’ was her second thought, but as she was regaining her consciousness and taking in her surroundings, the smell caught her senses. “What the fuck?” It smelled like…? Chicken? And bechamel sauce? And was that Agatha moving a spoon on a pan? Wait. Was Agatha cooking? Just for how long, exactly, had she been out for and did she or did she not mistakenly alternate realities? “What the fuck.” She says a little more loud this time, making Agatha look over her shoulder with a smirk.

“I thought you were dead.”

“And then you decided to cook? Aren’t you just the most romantic thing in the world.” Rio scoffs.

“Unfortunately, I was wrong.”

“Charmer.” Then Rio remembers. “Where the fuck were you? And why didn’t you call, or text? Or left a fucking note stuck on Scratchy?”

“Out.”

“Out? That’s all you have to say after disappearing for hours and making me turn and toss and destroy this apartment looking for you?” Rio crosses her arms, mildly annoyed by her wife’s nonchalant responses.

“It didn’t look like you were turning and tossing and destroying this apartment when I got here.” Agatha was smiling big now and oh, Rio fucking despised her. Fuck Agatha, was what she was going to do later.

“Fine!” She rolls her eyes, lying down on the couch again. “Just be quiet. Someone decided it was a good idea to play drums inside my head.” And just like that, she dozed off again.

When she rose, it was to a glass of water and two ibuprofens placed on the coffee table in front of her, which she gratefully took. Maybe she didn’t really despise Agatha. Or maybe the water was poisoned. Either way, she looked around and she saw that her wife was on a stool leaning over their countertop, her back facing Rio as her body looked like it was focused. Was Agatha writing hate letters to Jen, again? Standing quietly, she made her way to her wife, not wanting to startle her. Fine, she didn’t want to make Agatha aware she was snooping around her business.

That was when she saw it. Agatha was drawing. Drawing plants, elaborate ones. The pages on display had four different kind of greens, each one with their own description and functionality, all painted and shadowed, except for the one she was just starting to work on. Rio was actually, maybe for the first time in her life, stunned. Well, except for when Agatha climbed on top of her in bed and-

What was even weirder was that Agatha was so focused on her task that she didn’t even notice Rio lurking behind her. Or that Rio was actually shedding real, big ass tears. Cry baby. “What is that?” She finally spoke, which she wished she didn’t ‘cause now there was a hand coming to slap her and Rio was caught off guard and there was no way she could react fast enough to dodge a very loud, and painful, slap on her face. “Are you fucking crazy?” She shouted after a few moments.

“If you didn’t stand there like a freak for God knows how long and scared the shit out of me, all of this could’ve been avoided.” Agatha continued to draw.

“And somehow it’s my fault.” Rio wasn’t finding the situation cute anymore.

“Yeah, it is. Good girl.” You could hear the smirk in her voice.

“Oh, fuck off.” She continued lurking. “What are you doing.”

Agatha actually blushed. “What I was doing was dinner, but somebody decided to sleep. Again.”

“Quit stalling, Agatha. What is this?”

“I’ve found a hobby.” She said simply.

“You’ve found a hobby? And it has something to do with plants? The very same thing you tease me about every single day and call me a nerd for?”

“Just wanted to know what the hype was all about. So I’ve been taking a few classes, going to some lectures, you know how it is.” Rio has no idea how it is.

“About plants?” She deadpans.

“Obviously.”

“Right.”

Agatha turns to look at Rio and says, “Dinner is ready.”

Rio is speechless, dumbfounded, stunned (again), blabla. What the fuck was wrong with her wife? Maybe she shouldn’t have got up today.

“Wait a minute.” She grabs Agatha’s arm as she stands. “You? Made dinner? And it smelled good? And we’re still alive?” Rio wasn’t so sure about the last part.

“Sue me for wanting to make something nice for my wife?”

Huh. “Am I missing something here?”

“God, Rio. You’re so annoying. I fucking made you dinner ‘cause class ran late and traffic was awful and I got here after you and felt bad. And your ass was sleeping so infuriatingly cutely with Scratchy, and you looked so tired. I am taking botany classes and going to approximately a million lectures a week about plants because you do so much for me and I just wanted to show you that I care too. Was that what you wanted to hear?” Agatha made her best to look annoyed, but Rio knew her and could see just the tiniest spark of insecurity in her eyes. She pretended she didn’t see. Or she would be feet deep buried.

“My love.” Rio said weakly. God, she loved, hated, her wife. Agatha eyes softened at the two words.

“Can I go back to my drawing now?” Leave it to Agatha to run from any type of emotional moment. Even after years married. This bitch.

“Ah yes, and you’re gonna tell me all about those classes of yours. How long have you been keeping this from me? And what is up with that draw game. I did not know you had it in you.”

“I have very skilled hands, I think you of all people would know that.” Agatha winked at her. Show off.

“Debatable.” Then Rio started running for her life. This time she had a good reaction time.

HEY! i just love these witches so much it really got me back to writing after YEARS. if anyone see this, i hope u enjoy it :)

[fortytworedvines]

If you're still taking prompts: I'd like 14 :)

Send me a prompt! This is a sequel to Summer heat, but can be read as a stand-alone. T rating.

14. The water is too cold

The heat hadn’t lessened; the air was hot and sticky and still. Siegfried struggled through his calls, desperate for some relief from both the heat and the vision that was constantly in his mind’s eye. Early that morning, before dawn, he’d happened upon Audrey bathing in the forest pool in the pre-dawn light, like a nymph, a goddess. He’d watched, unnoticed, unable to turn away.

He’d arrived home after her and the house was dark and quiet, and when she’d greeted him that morning, her usual prim and proper self, a calm smile on her face, he wondered if he’d dreamt it. But it was too vivid. The water cascading down her as she stood, the slim curves of her body… He couldn’t stop thinking about her.

By the time he went to bed he was in a state; desperately hot, tormented with longing.

He managed to sleep. He dreamed of her. Woke up with a groan and full of need. He glanced at the clock – nearly three. He could do nothing about his feelings, but he could get cool. The forest pool called him.

He crept from his room, fetched a towel from the cupboard and was down the stairs and out of the house in no time.

How was it still so hot outside? This heat wave had to end soon, surely! Sweat dripped down his forehead as he walked up the path.

Finally, he reached the pool. The still surface looked inviting, and he stripped off his clothes eagerly. The rocks around the pool were rough under his feet and he stepped carefully towards the edge. Dipped a foot into the water.

It was cold. It was beyond cold. It was too cold.

Ridiculous; all he wanted was too cool down, but his foot in the water felt like a block of ice.

Audrey had managed it, yesterday. She had looked like she was enjoying herself thoroughly. Siegfried gritted his teeth. He would get in.

Jump, the voice in his head that sounded like Tris whispered.

“Oh God,” he murmured to himself. He peered into the water – it looked deep enough. He steeled himself, and jumped.

It felt like shards of ice pricking him all over. He surfaced shivering and certainly not hot any more.

“Gah,” he said, slapping his arms around himself. Get moving, he thought. He struck out across the pool in the inelegant but serviceable breaststroke he’d learned years ago at school.

He reached the other side, turned – stopped. Surely he was hallucinating.

Standing on a rock by the edge of the pool… “Good morning,” Mrs Hall said with a smile.

“Mrs – Mrs Hall!” He shifted in the water, trying to prevent her from seeing – anything, well aware of his hypocrisy given his own ogling the day before.

“I see we had the same idea,” she said. “It’s far too hot. Do you mind if I join you?” She was already undoing the buttons on her blouse.

Siegfried’s brain ceased functioning. He mumbled something that might have been agreement. He swam back across the pool – there was no other option really – trying not to watch her avidly as she removed blouse and skirt, kicked off her sandals.

She stood there in bra and knickers, apparently unselfconscious. He reached her.

“It’s ever so cold,” he said, inanely.

“As I’m hoping.” She sat on the edge of a rock and dangled her feet in. “Bliss,” she said with a smile.

“Ngh,” Siegfried said, and turned back to swim back across to the other side. He was feeling more comfortable with the temperature now. The only discomfort left was his wild attraction for his semi-clothed housekeeper.

There was a splash and he turned to see her surfacing, water dripping down her face. She was even more beautiful than she had been yesterday. “So much better,” she said with a sigh. She lay back idly in the water, unaware, or uncaring, of the way her cotton bra clung to her skin, almost see-through.

“I came out here yesterday at this time.” Water swirled around her and Siegfried tried to stop looking at her. “It set me up for the day, it really did.”

It was the cold; that was why his brain wasn’t working, that was why he blurted out, “I know.”

She flipped onto her front and eyed him. “You do?”

His face flushed with shame and he swallowed. Didn’t want to compound his misdeeds with a lie. “I saw you.”

“Oh.” She was still for a moment, her face unreadable.

His brain still wasn’t working. “You looked beautiful. Like a goddess.”

Colour tinted her cheeks. “Daft ha’p’orth.”

But though she was blushing, she wasn’t shouting at him.

His heart pounded and he dared to swim nearer.

“I assume you didn’t follow me on purpose…?”

He shook his head ferociously and droplets sprayed from him. “Of course not! I was coming back from a call and I remembered this place and I was just so damned hot!”

She laughed at him and the tension in him eased. “And I was here and spoilt it for you. I am sorry.”

“No,” he said, and his voice was suddenly tight in his throat. “You didn’t.” He was close enough to touch her now, reached out a hand through the cool water and found hers. “You are so beautiful.”

She pulled him closer to her and there was a speculative look in her eye that made his heart pound. “I think,” she said slowly, “that you should return the favour.”

“… Pardon?” She wasn’t really suggesting… was she?

She was. “Out you get, Siegfried.”

“I – I…” but it was only fair, he supposed. He swallowed. Nobody had seen him naked since Evelyn, and he was years older now. “Very well Audrey. But please, promise me that you won’t run screaming.”

She laughed, her amusement and affection clear. “I promise.”

He let go of her, swam to the edge and climbed out slowly, extremely aware of her gaze on his naked body. He steeled himself to stand, feeling water drops slide down his body. He breathed in, out, and turned.

She was lying back in the pool and watching him avidly. He fought not to cover himself. “Well?” he demanded.

She laughed again. “You’re at the top of the hill, but you’re not over it. You’ll do, Siegfried, you’ll do.”

With a sigh of relief he jumped into the pool, surfaced spluttering, and swam to her side.

“There aren’t so many poetic comparisons,” she mused, taking his hand and pulling him to float next to her. “I don’t suppose Poseidon will suffice?”

“Humph,” he grumbled. She was still holding his hand and the water between them seemed to be heating. He put his feet firmly on the rocky floor of the pool. “Audrey?”

She floated into him, put her arms around his neck. He found her waist and pulled her tightly into him, barely able to think of anything apart from the feel of her silky skin against his own. His body was reacting to her and he knew she could feel it but she didn’t pull away and the expression on her face was one of need.

She ran her fingers through his wet, tangled hair. “Will we be forgetting this?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t want to forget,” he said hoarsely. “Whatever we do… whatever happens, I want to remember it.” She brushed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and his heart nearly exploded with it. “I want this to be the start.”

Her lips found his, and she kissed him fiercely.

“Audrey,” he whispered as they kissed, “oh, Audrey.”

[kissycat]

Another fucked up sleeper here. I can also remember falling asleep, similar to what the person above described.

1) I had a specific experience where I was trying to fall asleep in a room with a softly ticking clock, and it happened multiple times that I noticed I was falling asleep because I wasn't hearing the clock anymore, like because the perception faded out of my consciousness, and then from that "oh im falling asleep" jolt of thought I woke up again. Happened over and over until I finally got earplugs

2) For me personally I know for a fact that it isn't true that dreams only start an hour after falling asleep. For me they happen as soon as I approach sleep. I think the research on this has also been "updated" and it's now believed that we dream most or all of the time while asleep, but I heard this on a science podcast so idrk and don't want to conduct a review of the field right now. But for me it's like, i often notice that im falling asleep because i feel myself entering dream-state consciousness: i would describe this maybe as "i can feel my thoughts and perceptions getting away from 'reality'" - thoughts and perceptions that i wouldn't have in an awake state slowly start entering my consciousness, but in that in-between state there's still a conscious-self present enough to observe that these aren't thoughts or perceptions I would have in an awake state. When I'm really asleep and really dreaming, that conscious-self is turned off. I'm trying to think of an example to explain how this feels but it's hard to put into words.

Maybe as an illustrative example it could be something like: i'm thinking about German politics while about to fall asleep, and after a while i notice that I've been thinking about politicians or events that don't exist, but it felt like i was thinking about something real (i.e. I wasn't intentionally fantasizing, but in fact dreaming). Then if I fully come to consciousness again and check the time, often only a few minutes will have passed. This also happens if i "nap" during the day, most of the time im fully "conscious"/aware of myself, my surroundings, etc. the entire time and can choose to wake myself up at any moment, but I have some of these dream-perceptions/thoughts.

I also don't think it's necessarily true that neural activity being suppressed means that thoughts are/"feel" less vivid, I don't know if this connection can be established at all

Sleep is weird but it's weird in a showy blatant way. But *falling asleep* is also weird, in a self-hiding way, it resists close investigation from within, you don't (cant possibly?) remember it. Presumably at some point we genuinely "lose consciousness", stop experiencing qualia for a bit, until the dreams Rev up. Just an inert being. But that inertness appears continously from behind consciousness. Somehow our brain slips itself into this other mode. What is that slippage like, is it like anything? Why is it sometimes so hard, and sometimes so easy?