#i thought id posted this here long ago whoops!!!!!

[hannahbisssssss]

Dinner and Diatribes (Nandor the Relentless x fem!Reader)

Author's Note: When asked to write this piece, I wanted to make it special for those waiting so long for its arrival. This will be split into two parts. I currently have part one (the majority of the work) done. However, chapter two is strictly NSFW and I'm separating both parts in case that doesn't interest you. I should be done with part two by tonight, so keep an eye out for it.

Warnings: Overprotective brother Guillermo, horny Nandor (duh), and an innocent reader. Take that as you will. Blood and violence (also duh)

Word count: 11,000+

Requested by @binks1004

This will also be posted on AO3 by tonight!

I sigh softly as I finish putting the last touches on my homework. Another assignment done. I look at the clock that resides next to my desk. 12:30 in the morning: shit… I should have been out of the dorms ages ago. I promised Guillermo that I would go to sleep earlier tonight because I wanted to make my way over to his house in the morning. Well, it’s not like I haven’t gotten less sleep before and still survived. 

Suddenly, my phone rings, and I jump in surprise. I check the caller ID… Guillermo. Shit. I hesitantly pick up the phone after letting it ring a couple times.

“Hello?” My tentative voice rings out.

“You should be asleep.” Guillermo’s voice sounds disappointed but not surprised. I almost hear the eye roll in his voice.

“Why would you call me if you didn’t know I was asleep or not? Who knows, maybe you just woke me up.” There’s a hint of snarkiness in my voice. As Guillermo’s younger sister, I felt occasionally obligated to annoy him.

“You were last active on Instagram 15 minutes ago.” Guillermo’s ‘I gotcha’ voice is laid on thick.

“…Whoops?” He laughs on the other line.

“Whoops is right. You need to go to bed, Y/N.” I feel the exasperation start to rise within me.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I had homework to get done before winter break. Is that so wrong of me to want to spend my full time and attention with you when I’m there at your house?” I decide to guilt trip him. I hear Guillermo sigh before I hear heavy footsteps on the line.

“Guillermo? Who are you speaking to?” The voice is distant, but I can swear I hear the essence of a Middle Eastern accent. The phone is clearly covered by one of Guillermo’s sweaters, as I can’t hear much of the conversation after that. I think I pick up the words ‘master,’ ‘sister,’ and ‘visiting.’ By the time Guillermo uncovers the phone, he responds almost sheepishly.

“Sorry. My roommate.” I am hit with the remembrance that Guillermo has four other housemates that he lives with.

“Oh, right… who was that?” My curiosity is piqued now.

“Nandor.” Guillermo says curtly.

“Nandor.” I repeat, testing the name on my tongue. “Is he nice?” Guillermo sighs.

“Sometimes.” I laugh. 

“I’m sure we’ll get along just fine, then.” I try to assure him. 

“Sure. Y/N, please go to sleep before you end up driving over here like an exhausted zombie.” 

“Alright, alright. I’ll go to sleep, but don’t be shocked when you see I’m active on Instagram for the next 15 minutes: I have a routine, you know?” I hear Guillermo stifle a chuckle.

“Yeah, okay.”

“You know you love me.” I tease.

“Of course I do. That doesn’t mean you can’t be insufferable.” He teases back.

“That’s the fun of having a sibling, I think.” Guillermo doesn’t hide his laughter this time.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” I can hear the chiding in his voice.

“Goodnight, Guillermo.” I hang up the phone and make my way over to my bed. I’m a lot more tired than I previously thought, as I plug in my phone within five minutes of my nightly doom scroll routine. 

The drive over to Guillermo’s house is nothing special. It’s cold, with some snow falling, but nothing I can’t handle. As I made my way over the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge, I feel myself getting a little nervous. What if Guillermo’s roommates don’t like me? What if I end up biting off more than I can chew with this trip? I mean, I’m staying for an entire month. Certainly his roommates would get annoyed with me after staying with them for so long. 

Before I can panic myself any longer, I realize that I’m already at his doorstep. I raise my hand to knock on the door, but Guillermo is already there. 

“Y/N.” He says fondly. I smile and let my hand drop.

“Hi, Guillermo.” We smile and hug and get all the niceties out of the way. 

“Did you end up sleeping well?”

“After scrolling on Instagram for approximately five minutes, yeah.”

“I noticed you weren’t active super long. I was hoping that meant you were asleep and not on that one website I don’t know about.”

“Character.AI?” I say with a laugh. He laughs too. 

“Yeah, that one. Who’s your current fictional character of choice?”

“I’m embarrassed to say…” I fidget with my hands for a moment. 

“Now you have to tell me.” 

“I most certainly do not.”

As I walk in the house, I am met with an ornately-decorated foyer. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling looks quite beautiful, and I can’t help but stare in awe.

“Like it?” Guillermo looks at me taking in the scenery. 

“Holy crap, you must spend a fortune living here.” He laughs at this response. 

“If only you knew…” I give him an odd look but decide to drop it. 

“Well, it’s 9:30 in the morning… What would you like to do?” I ask him with a pleasant smile.

“Did you eat breakfast?” I shake my head.

“Let’s do that first, that way you’ll be prepared for any activities I have set up for you today.” Guillermo says with a smile.

“Ooh, what kind of activities are we talking?”

“I’ll show you around Staten Island, and that’ll give me time to debrief you on each of my roommates.”

“Yeah, where are they? You’d think they’d be up by now.” Guillermo suddenly starts to fidget with his hands.

“They’re kind of nocturnal.” I look bewildered at this statement. “They work at the railroad, so they have weird hours.”

“But I thought… I thought you also worked at the railroad.” Guillermo looks stunned and a little frightened by my statement. “I-I do…” Guillermo looks down at his hands.

“Guillermo. I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re telling a lie. Did you get fired or something?” He perks up at my statement. 

“Fired, yup! I’m just trying to look for new work, so I’ve been keeping busy with the upkeep of this house. Please, don’t tell mom.” I nod in solidarity.

“Of course I won’t. Your secret’s safe with me.” Guillermo smiles and visibly relaxes. Suddenly, another figure walks in the room. He’s bald, wearing a vest, and carrying a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Who’s this?” I perk up as he makes his way out of the kitchen. Guillermo shoots him a warning look. For what reason, I can’t be too sure.

“That’s Colin Robinson.” Colin raises his cup as a friendly gesture.

“Hello… You must be Y/N. Guillermo told us you were coming. You’re in for a lot of fun.” I smile at Colin, as he seems friendly enough. 

“Yes! I’m Y/N, nice to meet you. I sure hope I don’t become a nuisance too quickly.” He smirks at my statement. 

“Oh, I don’t think that will be a problem.” Guillermo shoots Colin another warning glare and for a moment, I could swear that Colin’s eyes brightened. Guillermo quickly takes my hand and leads me out of the house. 

“We’ll be back later, Colin.” I look at Guillermo, confused.

“What about breakfast?” He tugs at my arm again. 

“I’ll buy you breakfast, okay?” Guillermo closes and locks the door behind him, rolling his eyes at the thought of Colin. 

“He seemed nice.” I try to give him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, well ‘seeming’ isn’t everything. Colin Robinson is one of the most annoying creatures on this planet.” I laugh a little at this statement.

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind. Breakfast?” Guillermo smiles back at me.

“Breakfast.”

The two of us take Guillermo’s car throughout Staten Island. A diner, a mall, a work building, everything that sees me throughout the day sees a smile on my face. The minutes turned to hours and I suddenly feel the sisterly urge to connect with Guillermo. 

“I’ve missed seeing you.” I break the silence with my voice, knowing the words would ring true. Guillermo nearly trips in the shoe store we’re currently walking through.

“I’ve missed you, too.” Is his simple reply.

“I just don’t think you’d be able to understand the depth of my statement. I really fucked things up.” Guillermo stops this time, looking at me as I speak, as if seeing me for the first time in his life.

I don’t come from a functional family. I grew up Catholic, fatherless, and forced to grow up fast. The weight I bear is not something easily shaken. My mother loved me dearly, but was always worried about Guillermo. He was 7 years older than me. He didn’t have many friends growing up on account of his rather odd hobbies. By association, when I finally reached the age he was when he first started getting bullied, I was left friendless and alone. 

Life as an emotionally-mature person in an emotionally-immature body often led to grief beyond the imaginable. I knew as I grew up that there were things I would never experience. Teenage romance, of course, was the least-established of my facilities. The days boys would hit on me were over… Nobody wanted to be friends with the girl whose brother believed in vampires. What if it runs in the family? 

“I really messed up. I should have been reaching out more. College fucked me up and I think I was still holding a–” The words spill forth before I can even think. I only recently got in touch with Guillermo a few months back.

“You were never supposed to be taking care of me. I was supposed to be doing that for you. I should have listened to your feelings; spoken about your hurt.” Guillermo’s words nearly tear at my heart. There are moments like these with one’s family members that help one realize just how connected blood really makes us. Seconds turn to minutes turn to us sitting on the floor and crying together while a Shoe Carnival employee checks in on us. 

The day passes a lot more calmly than earlier. I’m not sure exactly how many times I am warned about each of his roommates. 

“It really sounds like you don’t enjoy living with them.” Guillermo grimaces at my words as if struck.

“I do enjoy living with them, but they are a particular bunch. I know you can be, too. I just don’t want anyone butting heads with you; they’d do that even if I were to specifically ask.” My face softens at my brother’s words. 

“It’s only one month. It’ll be alright.”

When we make our way back to Guillermo’s house, the lights are on and I can see shadow figures moving around inside, albeit with some paper in the way.

“Guillermo?” I ask quietly.

“Yes?” He follows my gaze before going silent.

“What’s the paper for?”

“They’re very private people. Who would I be to judge?” Guillermo nearly chokes on his answer.

“Do you think it was a good idea to invite me to spend my winter break with you?” I feel Guillermo’s warm hands clasp around my freezing left one.

“I would do anything to ensure your comfortability here. They’ll behave, I promise.” He shuts the car off and makes his way out of the vehicle, motioning for me to do the same. We make our way to the porch and Guillermo takes the jingling keys out of his pocket. As he opens the door, I peek into the foyer. Nothing. Nobody. 

“Where did they go?” My voice asks softly. Guillermo gives me a smile that could be perceived as tentative. 

“Probably the fancy room. The curtain is shut.” I immediately shrink into myself at his words. 

“They know I’m here. I should leave–” I begin frantically.

“No, Y/N, please stay. We can go and introduce you.”

“Memo, please. I know you’ve lived with them longer than since we lost contact with one another. I don’t want them to think to ask you why we stopped speaking.” There’s a rustling heard behind the curtain as it’s pulled aside. Standing on the other side of the curtain is a black-haired woman with green highlights. She is dressed in Victorian garb and looks superb. 

“I take it you are Y/N.” She says in her Greecian lilt. I give her a bright smile; years of acting makes switching from emotions a thing to do with ease.

“Yes, I am. Hi! Are you Nadja?” She smiles at me and I immediately take notice of her sharp canine teeth. Odd.

“The one and only. Come, come, you must meet the others since Gizmo won’t be introducing you himself.” Guillermo rolls his eyes and makes his way to the fancy room with a huff. Inside the room are two men. One sits on the couch with a pipe in his mouth, occasionally blowing out puffs of smoke. He shoots me a suave smile and I recognize his sharpened canines as well. I mentally take note of that as I look at him.

“My darling, who did you bring for us to meet?” His voice is strained and clearly fake. He knows exactly who I am. “This is Y/N, Gizmo’s beautiful sister who he never speaks of.” My face flushes a deep red and I feel Guillermo preen behind me. There is a throat clearing heard from the corner of the room. Out steps a figure that dwarfs the others. He is tall and imposing and every bit of the name I know him to have: Nandor. 

“Be nice to Guillermo, Nadja. You do not want to scare off his sister.” He steps closer and I feel his steps, both graceful and lumbering, get closer and closer. He is wearing a furred cape with some other cultural garb that does not seem from the United States in the slightest. He makes his way over to me with his broad chest leading the rest of his body. I almost pass out as I look up at him, feeling the air in my throat constrict. 

“Nandor.” He says in his baritone, holding a hand out for me. “Nandor the Relentless.” My mouth opens and closes like a fish before I spit out my own name.

“Relentless? Why’s that.” He doesn’t need to answer, as I’m sure I’d believe any answer he gives me. 

“Y/N. You have a very lovely name, as well as a lovely curiosity about you.” He replies. 

“Thank you, that’s quite kind of you.” I recognize now that I still haven’t taken his hand and I do, trying to shake it frantically before realizing how immovable he is. His steady hand lifts my hand to his lips as he keeps eye-contact with me. Normally, I’d explode from the attention, but I immediately clock his fangs.

“Is something wrong?” Guillermo’s voice chimes in and I realize I must have been staring. I blink a couple of times and come back to reality, noticing Nandor’s lips are still on my hand. Guillermo takes notice as well and swats at my arm. I pull it back in surprise and Nandor’s deep voice chuckles behind me. 

“Careful with this one. She’s fragile.” Nandor’s voice is both teasing and deadly serious, as if sending a warning to his roommates. Guillermo tugs my arm and leads me out of the room. I wave at Nandor and he gives me a smirk I can only describe as fond yet… hungry. After Guillermo drags me out of the room, I immediately round on him.

“You live with a bunch of cosplayers?” Guillermo shrinks from my anger. 

“They’re quite eccentric people when they’re not working at the railroad.”

“Speaking of, why the fuck are they here playing dress-up when they should be at work?”

“It’s a Saturday evening.” I deflate with Guillermo’s response. He’s right, of course.

“Okay. I’m off to bed.” Guillermo gives me an apologetic smile and as I turn away, I realize I have absolutely no idea where I’m going.

“Upstairs to the right.”

“Thank you.” I respond curtly before making my way up the stairs. When I make it to the top of the stairs and take the first right, I close the door behind me and take a deep breath. After my brain runs silent for a few moments, I decide to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. Of course, that meant exiting my bedroom, and I did not want to do that just yet. I wanted to take everything in. I look at my bed frame, an ornate metal one with a stained glass lamp on the nightstand next to it. Jesus, they took this whole cosplaying thing very seriously.

Guillermo’s POV

“Are you fucking kidding me? I asked you guys to do one thing: act normal! How hard is that? You were humans once, too!” Guillermo’s whisper shouting is quieted by Nandor, who places his hand on Guillermo’s shoulder.

“Laszlo, Nadja, leave us.” Nandor waves a dismissive hand at them.

“Fuck off.” Nadja’s voice is the first to pipe in. Laszlo is quick to recover as he stands and grabs his wife’s shoulders.

“Nadja, how about you and I go to our room and… discuss this new development in the house.” Both Guillermo and Nandor bristle at his statement for the very same reason. Laszlo drags Nadja out of the room before either of them could chide the married couple. When they finally leave, Nandor looks down at Guillermo.

“I would like to court her.” He says blatantly. Guillermo feels as if he had just been electrocuted. 

“Fuck no.” Guillermo is quick to recover from his immediate shock.

“Guillermo, she is a beautiful, unwed woman of childbearing age. Would you enjoy watching your sister turn into a spinster?” 

“Not any more than I’d enjoy watching her turn into your concubine.” Nandor looks as if he could snap his bodyguard’s neck. “You will not be courting my sister, and I’m so fucking serious. She’s a Van Helsing as well – she could kill you without a second thought.” Nandor perks up at this statement.

“I do enjoy a challenge.” Nandor’s voice is smug and steady. Guillermo storms out of the room, making his way to his room under the stairs. 

Y/N's POV

The house is cold and quiet. The fire in the living room does not create enough heat to reach where I am. Guillermo set up the room nicely, with a few extra blankets that will not go unused. I smile to myself as I make my way out of the room to head to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I smack into the chest of the person waiting outside my door. Nandor. He gives me a smirk, one of the fangs popping out of his lip.

“Hello, little Y/N.” I nearly shiver at his voice, but maintain my composure. 

“Hi Nandor. Sorry, I should have been paying more attention.” He gives me a friendly smile.

“You are quite alright. Do not feel bad. I was standing right outside your door, so I should be the one apologizing.” Nandor’s hands are clasped behind his back, making him look quite serious and almost otherworldly. 

“Yes. What were you doing outside my door anyway?” I look skeptical of him. 

“I wanted to apologize for causing any strife between your brother and you.” Now that was an answer I was not expecting. I swallow and try my best to not look phased. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Nandor chuckles at my words, a deep and smooth sound. 

“Guillermo clearly cares deeply for you. I wouldn’t want to make a bad first impression.” Nandor’s voice is genuine, without a hint of any of the confident bravado he carried earlier. 

“I know he cares for me. Sorry, I’m incredibly tired and have to get ready for bed.” I gently scoot him out of the way and make it to the bathroom without looking back. I lock the door behind me, standing before the mirror in front of me. It is a humbling sight: I look as though the exhaustion I’ve felt since I was 12 was surfacing all at once. Realizing my face was getting red with that discovery, I covered my face to cry. 

What I could not see beyond the door was a stunned Nandor, able to hear my soft cries. He did nothing, and yet here I am, angrier than ever. I stayed in the bathroom for a long while, knowing I could not go out and face him again.

Nandor’s POV

As he stares at the bathroom door, all he can feel is completely helpless about the situation. Had he said something wrong? What did he do? All he said was that your brother cared about you. Was that so wrong? Nandor awkwardly shuffles to his bedroom, closing the door to drown out your cries. He could hear them slow and eventually stop, listening to your feet shuffle back to the room across his. He wants to try again, to reach out and tap your door; to ask you what’s wrong. He doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t. He tries to ignore the feelings your emotions stirred within him as he listens to your breathing even out as you fall asleep.

Next Morning - Y/N’s POV

I wake up the next morning feeling completely out of it. As I opened my eyes, I felt all the emotions slam into me as they did last night. Fuck. Had I really gotten that emotional around Nandor? I knew that my emotions had gotten the better of me, and I wanted to apologize to him. He couldn’t have known that my and Guillermo’s relationship was a sore spot. Of course he wouldn’t have known that: Guillermo has always liked to keep his shame hidden. I sit up in my bed and groan, trying to catch my bearings. His door is right across from mine… Maybe I could sneak over and speak with him. 

Why I felt so drawn to Nandor, I couldn’t explain. Maybe it’s because he’s incredibly handsome, or maybe it’s due to the fact that he has no clue about me. A clean slate. That’s certainly what I felt I deserved at this moment.

I stand and make my way over to my door, opening it and running into someone for the second time in under 12 hours. I’m surprised to see that it’s Guillermo. 

“I’m so sorry,” are the first words that leave his mouth. I look at him skeptically. “Nandor told me you were upset last night. I should have known.” My face heats up in embarrassment. 

“It’s no big deal, really. I was just upset–”

“Stop. Please stop lying on my behalf. I’m your older brother, and I fucked up. I haven’t told you the whole truth.” That stops me dead in my tracks.

“What are you talking about?” Guillermo takes my hand and looks at me with an emotion on his face I can’t quite read. 

“I know I’ve been obsessed with vampires since I was a kid, and I hoped above hope that they were real. So real that I went looking to find them. I found a job application when I was 19 that seemed suspicious enough, so I showed up here: to this house,” I shake my head in confusion as Guillermo continues. “I was met by Nandor at the front door, who took me in for an interview. The job detailed the upkeep of the house and what being a servant–a familiar would be like.”

“A familiar? What the hell are you talking about?” Guillermo takes my hand and continues.

“I haven’t been working at the railroad for all of these years… I’ve been working for Nandor, Nadja, Laszlo, and Colin Robinson. I’m a familiar. They’re vampires.” My face turns blank for the first few seconds after he said the words I desperately did not want to hear. 

“Are you serious?” I can see Guillermo’s face fall. “After all these years, you still don’t care about how your actions affect other people. Do you know what it was like? Taking care of mom when all she wanted to do was see her son. Getting bullied at school for being your sister?” I wrench my hand from Guillermo’s grasp. “I get that us getting back on speaking terms is new and exciting because I’ve missed you, but don’t fuck with me about this,” Guillermo quickly grabs my hand again and drags me to Nandor’s room.

“I can prove it. Look,” Guillermo opens the door to Nandor’s room and there, laying in the middle of the room, is a large coffin made from some of the finest wood I’d ever seen. 

“What the actual hell,” my voice is quiet but certainly not calm. “What is this?”

“This is where Nandor sleeps. He sleeps during the day because he’s a vampire, not because he works night shifts. If he touches the sunlight, it hurts him. And if he steps fully into the sun, it will kill him. That’s why the windows are boarded up; that’s why this house looks so haunted: because it is. It’s haunted by the vampires who have lived in it for over 100 years,” I cover my face again and pull my hand from Guillermo’s grasp. 

“You’ve actually been galavanting around with vampires for over a decade?” I am dangerously calm. 

“I don’t know if ‘galavanting’ is the right word, but–”

“Well, what would you call it? Leaving your family behind to live with vampires. Some fantastical fucking dream you got to have,” I turn away from Nandor’s coffin, feeling scorned. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I can’t take back those years that I left you and mamá, but I want to make up for it.”

“You left us! For years, you left us! And what am I supposed to do? Be fine that you were gone for so long, only to be living your dream,” I sit against the wall, sliding to the floor. “While I was stuck taking care of mamá, who wanted nothing more than to have her son back. Do you know what that’s like?” Guillermo takes a step closer to me, slowly sitting next to me. 

“No. I don’t. But I want to. It’s not fair that I was gone, but I want to have you back in my life–”

“Did you tell mamá?” Guillermo looks ashamed and it’s all the answer I need. “Why would you ever trust me with this secret?” 

“Because I can’t try to satisfy you with lies. I’ve done that for long enough,” Guillermo looks at me with such sincerity it almost hurts. I sigh, feeling a headache coming on.

“Is there anything else I should know?” I look at him from between my fingers.

“...We are descendants of the Van Helsing family,” I immediately groan and put my head back in my hands. 

“What does that entail?” Guillermo takes a breath as he prepares to explain.

“It means that you’re probably unnaturally good at spotting vampires. I noticed you noticing their teeth last night,” I look up at Guillermo again.

“You did?” Guillermo laughs at my question. 

“Maybe it’s why I was so good and seeking vampires out in the first place,” a small smile appears on my face at his statement. 

“Guillermo De La Cruz: always alone, traversing between two worlds,” I give him a smile as I take my hands off my face.

“Not alone anymore,” he replies with an openness I had not yet seen from him. 

“Not anymore, no,” Guillermo wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him.

“Yes, yes, that’s nice. Now Guillermo, please flee from my room with your sister so I may slumber,” comes a voice from the coffin. I almost forgot we were in Nandor’s room. I laugh at his words. 

“Shit, sorry Nandor,” Guillermo says as he stands, pulling me to my feet. 

“Yeah, we’ll go,” I say as I start to leave the room. Guillermo closes the door behind him and looks at me a moment before we both start laughing. 

“Whoops,” Guillermo says first. 

“I guess I didn’t think vampires could be light sleepers,” I reply. 

“They most certainly can. Breakfast?” Guillermo asks. 

“Yeah, just give me a few minutes to do my morning routine. I need to brush the heart-to-heart out of my teeth,” Guillermo laughs and makes his way down the stairs. 

“See you in a few!”

After taking the time to do my morning routine, I make my way down the staircase to the kitchen. Before I can get there, I’m intercepted by Colin Robinson, who is, once again, holding a cup of coffee and wearing another vest. I shuffle nervously on my feet, now come to the realization that I am surrounded by vampires.

“What makes you so different?” I blurt before I can stop myself. Colin looks bewildered. “Good morning to you, too,” he mutters. 

“I’m sorry. Good morning. What I meant was, if you’re a vampire like everyone else, why can you be awake in the daytime?” Colin takes a sip of his coffee. 

“Your first assumption was incorrect: I am not like everyone else. I’m an energy vampire: a daywalker,” I nod at his explanation, though I’m still confused. “I feed off of people’s negative energy. Energy vampires are the most common of vampires, and I’m sure you’ve met some before meeting me.”

“Are you draining me right now?” I ask cautiously. Colin seems to find this amusing.

“No, no. I do it when you least expect it.” His words hang in the air for a moment before Guillermo peaks out of the kitchen. 

“Leave her alone, Colin,” Colin’s eyes glow blue at Guillermo’s words. So his eyes were glowing yesterday. 

“Go and enjoy breakfast. I sure have enjoyed mine,” Colin smirks before walking away. I make my way to the kitchen and prepare for the rest of the day. 

The rest of the day is rather mundane. Guillermo told me I should start getting used to taking naps in the daytime if I wanted to spend time with the vampires. When asking him if he was going to take a nap, he merely laughed. 

“The job of a vampire’s bodyguard is never-ending,” he responded.

“I thought you were a familiar,” I eye him.

“I was, until the vampires got attacked by other vampires,” Guillermo responds as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. I guess, for him, it has been his normal.

“Should I be worried?”

“Not with that Van Helsing blood in you,” Guillermo nudged me. “Now get some rest.” So I did. The day was spent in a mostly-dreamless slumber as I tried to preserve my energy for the nighttime. Being a college student, changing my sleep schedule was certainly not hard. I woke up to my alarm and checked the time, seven o’clock. I rub my eyes and sit up, seeing the sun had already set below the sky. Being wintertime, it gets dark a lot earlier than I’d like. Maybe vampires enjoyed the winter more for that same reason. 

While pondering existential questions about vampirism, I peek out my door to make sure I won’t run into anyone else. As I look across the hallway, I see Nandor’s door is already open. I make my way over to his room, trying to be as quiet as possible, as if sneaking into somewhere I shouldn’t be.

I look inside his door and see his coffin opened. As I survey the rest of the room, I do not find him anywhere. 

“It is rude to try and sneak up on a vampire such as myself,” I jump in surprise and turn around. Nandor stares at me, a smirk playing at his lips. 

“I wasn’t–I didn’t–” He chuckles in that same deep baritone. 

“You’re not too sneaky for a Van Helsing,” I stand a little taller and cross my arms.

“Van Helsing or not, I’m still a De La Cruz,” Nandor raises an eyebrow at me. 

“I can see the resemblance between your brother and you. Come, would you like to sit?” Nandor gestures to a couple of chairs in his room. “The others are probably out hunting for the night,” I feel my blood go cold at his words. Nandor chuckles again before speaking, “Don’t worry – I ate yesterday in preparation for your arrival,” I feel his eyes on me as I sit in the chair. He moves to sit next to me. 

“Do you… kill people?”

“Yes,” his response is quick and almost cold.

“Do you enjoy it?” Nandor sighs.

“Only sometimes. Those are boring questions. I hear them too often. Let’s talk about something more interesting,” Nandor feigns a yawn which elicits a smile from me. 

“How old are you?” Nandor peers down at me from the corner of his eye, smiling. 

“I am over seven hundred years old. How old are you?” I suddenly feel much more shy and self-conscious. “Oh, come now, don’t tell me you don’t want to answer any of my questions.”

“I’m 23,” I respond quickly, as if challenging his words. 

“But a sprout amongst the trees,” Nandor’s words flow from him. “Y/N, I like your name.”

“Thank you… It’s a family name. Where does ‘Nandor’ originate?” Nandor smiles proudly. 

“From Hungary. It’s a version of ‘Ferdinand,’” Nandor says the name with a hint of distaste. 

“You’re Hungarian?” Nandor immediately shakes his head.

“No. I’m from Al Quolnidar. It used to be part of the Ottoman Empire, but now would be southern Iran.”

“I feel like I’m getting a history lesson,” I say with a laugh.

“Do you enjoy learning?” Nandor asks, blinking slowly at me. I pause for a moment, wondering how to respond.

“Yes, I think I do,” Nandor’s chest seems to puff up proudly, like a bird showing off his feathers. 

“Then I shall give you history lessons whenever you please.”

And he does. Days pass in the house and I always await Nandor’s rising in the night. I spend some of my time getting to know everyone in the house, but Nandor, of course, steals my attention most of the time. We spend long evenings and nights getting to know one another. Yet, it feels as though my life is not as exciting as his. No matter how many times I state this fear, Nandor is quick to respond.

“Just because I’m ancient doesn’t mean I’m more interesting.” We agree to disagree on this front. During the nights we are not speaking to one another, Guillermo catches us stealing glances at one another in the kitchen or the library. He, of course, knows we both have feelings for one another, but tries to inform me of how stupid and dangerous that is. I hush him up every time, telling him to let me have my fun, as there’s no possible way Nandor feels the same way about me. Guillermo shuts up every time, going back to whatever he’s doing. During one of our nightly talks, Nandor begins to open up a bit more about his love life.

“I had 37 husbands and wives,” I nearly spit out my drink at the number. 

“Shit, I realize this is probably insensitive, but how did you keep up with all of them?” Nandor laughs and waves off my question.

“I loved 35 of them, so it was relatively easy. The other two were political marriages: women meant to bear my children to carry on my name,” I try not to blush at the thought. 

“That must have been nice–having so many partners to spend time with,” I try to spin the situation.

“Oh no, I spent most of my time with my concubines when I was on the battlefield,” I, once again, try not to choke on my drink. 

“Did you ever think it was enough?” The words fall from my lips before I can reign them in. Nandor looks at me, surprised by my question.

“No… I suppose I didn’t,” I frown at his response.

“Do you ever think about settling down?” The dam has opened. 

“I’m a vampire. All I ever think about is settling down for eternity. I lived enough lives by being a conqueror as a human,” Nandor looks at his glass, half-empty with AB+ blood.

“Seven hundred years is a long time to be alive. I feel like I’ve lived through enough as a 23-year-old,” Nandor gives me a look.

“You’re still young,” he says as a matter-of-fact statement. “Let the world open up to you.”

“I think I have had enough of the world opening up to me,” I begin to swirl the wine in my glass. 

“What do you mean?” Nandor’s curiosity is piqued.

“Helping out a single mom since you were 12 is not exactly a job for sheltered individuals,” I say with a sigh. “My mom needed someone to help out around the house after Guillermo left. I was that someone. It wasn’t all that bad, but it was hard.”

Nandor is suddenly hit with the crushing realization that he inadvertently did this to you. He took away Guillermo, he made it nearly impossible for Guillermo to reach out and speak to his family. Nandor takes a sip from his glass. If his face could blush, it would certainly be burning from his shame right now. 

“I’m sorry,” is his only reply. I give him a smile, one that he recognizes as a friendly but tired look.

“Don’t be. It shaped me into who I am. I like me,” I say simply.

“I hope you don’t mind if I were to ask you about your father?” Nandor immediately wishes he could take back his words once he watches my face fall. 

“I don’t remember much. He was a piece of crap who bullied our mother for a living. When he finally decided to get lost, I couldn’t help but feel abandoned. My mom loved me as best as she could, but that doesn’t mean it was what I needed,” I say before taking another sip of my wine. “Blood is thick, though. I am forever appreciative that I got this opportunity to reunite with Guillermo, even if that means having my worldview shattered,” I say with a laugh. 

“How do you do it?” Nandor asks as he studies my face.

“How do I do what?”

“How do you speak about such things with a smile on your face? You should be crying.”

“I weep when I’m alone,” I tell him as I look into my glass again. “It’s not very becoming of me to cry in front of people I don’t know that well, now is it?” Nandor also looks into his glass before looking back up at me.

“I would like to know you,” Nandor says those words simply, as if it wasn’t a declaration.

“I don’t think you would. I’m broken–” I start.

“I don’t know why you’ve convinced yourself you’re not worth knowing. You’re allowed to be angry with me, you know? I took your brother away for years, causing you to have to raise yourself. I would understand completely if you chose to hate me,” Nandor’s words spill forth like a waterfall. 

“I don’t hate you,” my face is burning.

“Why?” Nandor’s question is exasperated. 

“I’m not sure, but I don’t. You’ve given me every chance in the world to speak freely, but I don’t feel like hating you. It does not change the past, nor does it heal the future. I think just being in your presence now is a comfort. One I should not take for granted,” Nandor is stunned into silence. 

“Can I kiss you?” I am stunned by this question. I stand abruptly before getting ready to leave. 

“I should get going,” I close the door before he has the chance to respond.

Nandor’s POV

By the end of the night, Nandor’s room looks as if a tornado blew through it. Once he heard you leave the house, he began to destroy everything within it. He threw his glass of blood at the wall, watching it shatter with a cruel satisfaction. Of course you would not reciprocate. You’re too full of life, too wonderful, too good for him. Nandor roars in anger at each of these thoughts, destroying some of the furniture in his room. All that remains untouched are his coffin and the paintings of himself on the wall: all a cruel reminder of the warlord he was. The violent, cruel, evil dictator who took lives without care. Of course you felt the need to run away for the night. He made you uncomfortable, and he couldn’t blame you for feeling that way.

At some point in the night, there is a knock at his door. Nandor rounds on Guillermo, hissing as he stares at his bodyguard. 

“Leave me,” Nandor’s words are cold and angry. But Guillermo does not leave.

“What happened?” His question brings forth a thousand more thoughts in Nandor’s head, who clutches it as if it is going to explode.

“She left. I scared her away,” Nandor’s voice cracks from emotion, and he curses himself for it, finding a book on his nightstand and ripping it apart.

“What? How?” Nandor storms over to Guillermo, towering above him intimidatingly. 

“Leave. Me.”

“This is my sister we’re talking about. My sister, who is alone in the streets of Staten Island because of you. Now, tell me what happened,” Guillermo’s temper almost matches Nandor’s. Nandor lets out a frustrated huff before explaining what happened. 

“She was never angry with me. Never angry at me, the monster who kept her brother away from her for 14 years. She held no bitterness towards me about it,” Nandor turns around to hide his shame. “None, until of course, when I ruined it by asking to kiss her,” Guillermo falls silent with these words. 

“We have to go find her. She couldn’t have gotten far–” Guillermo begins, trying to ignore the feelings stirring within him.

“We don’t have to do anything. You will go and find her. I have done enough for tonight,” Nandor hisses, throwing a glare at Guillermo over his shoulder. There’s a pause between them before Guillermo glares back at Nandor. 

“Fine. Next time, stay away from my sister,” the door slams behind him and Nandor jumps, quickly returning to destroying his room. 

Guillermo’s POV

She couldn’t have gotten far. That’s the only thing he can think as he goes out to look for you. You couldn’t have gone too far. Guillermo, met with constant lefts and rights, decides to follow a path he had taken you on during one of your many daily adventures through Staten Island. Left, left, right, straight for a few miles… You couldn’t have gone far. He tries to think of all the possible places you could have gone. 

You took your car, of course. You left in your car to do whatever you wanted, and he had no chance to stop it. Suddenly, he remembers the pang of disappointment he felt in his stomach when you said you enjoyed going to bars. He took you to a bar a couple days ago. It had food, greasy food, but it also had drinks. That’s probably where you went. He tries to stuff down the thought of you drunk driving. You wouldn’t. 

Guillermo feels an immense sense of relief when he sees your car outside the bar. He opens the doors, a sense of peace washing over him. That is, until he realizes you aren’t there. Guillermo’s panic rises within him again as he looks around. He asks the bartender if he saw you – he hadn’t. You were sending him on a wild goose chase. Guillermo clutches his head in frustration, trying to think of where else you could be. That is, of course, until he hears you scream.

Y/N’s POV

I wanted to go to the bar for the shitty food. I knew it would make me feel much better after running away from Nandor. I had been mentally kicking myself the entire night over Nandor’s question. Why did I leave? I cover my face as I sit at the front sidewalk of the bar.

Commitment issues. It was always commitment issues. I felt so embarrassed for leaving Nandor hanging, but I was terrified when he asked to kiss me. I wanted to, of course, but I had never… I mean, what would come next? Marriage? Sex? The last thought sends a shiver through me. He’s a vampire. I’m just a blip in his long existence: an impermanent thing. I cover my face and groan to get myself free of those thoughts. Standing up to go into the bar, I reach the front door before I feel my arm grabbed by some stranger, dragging me away with a hand over my mouth.

I’m dragged into an alley, a knife pressed against my back. Yeah, this would happen to me.

“Don’t scream,” the voice is scarily calm. “I’m just robbing you. This will go as easily as you want it to,” he speaks the words as if they’re molasses stuck in his teeth. As he removes his hand from my mouth, I take a deep breath. 

“I don’t have a lot of money on me,” I responded brokenly. 

“Well, it seems we have a problem, don’t we?”

“Please. Let me go. I’ll give you the keys to my car,” I am pleading now.

“You think I want some busted car from a college student?” The knife begins to dig into my skin. I gasp and the man shushes me before whispering in my ear.

“I told you this would go as easily as you wanted it to. It seems you don’t care too much,” I shake my head and try to reason with him. 

“Please, I won’t tell anyone about this. I’ll go quietly. I’ll give you everything I have, it’s just not much,” the man removes the knife from my back and brings it to my cheek. He slowly drags it down the side of my face, certainly drawing blood. I cry out, beginning to scream for help. After a brief moment, I feel the weight lifted from behind me as the man is dragged off of me. 

“Don’t touch her,” I hear a familiar voice hiss behind me. I scoot away from Nandor and the man he is now holding off the ground. His eyes are a deep red; red as blood. With that thought, I raise a hand to my cheek, feeling the warm liquid running down my face. I catch Nandor watching me touch the blood on my cheek. He hisses at the man, and it’s a deep and menacing sound. “Look away,” his voice is deep and commanding. 

I tuck my head and cover my face. The moment I do, I hear a disgusting squelching sound, followed by a gasp from the man. I’m sure he would have screamed if he could, but I would guess Nandor went for the throat.

“Y/N, we have to go,” I uncover my face to find Guillermo staring at me, frantically trying to pull me to my feet. In a split-second decision, I turn to look at Nandor, who is crouched on the ground like a predator, face deep into the man’s skin. His eyes are on mine the moment I look upon him, and I can feel his relief as he looks at me. Guillermo drags me out of the alley, holding my hand the entire way. 

“Stop looking!” Guillermo commands as he pulls me out of Nandor’s view.

“He’s not going to hurt me–” 

“You’re bleeding,” Guillermo interrupts me. “I don’t want to tempt an apex predator, thank you very much.” He opens the passenger door and helps me sit down before going to the driver’s side. Guillermo speeds off in his car, headed back in the direction of the house. When I looked behind the car, all I could see was Nandor standing in the middle of the road, blood covering his face.

We got back home after driving for a few minutes in silence. When Guillermo parks the car, he looks over at me.

“Are you okay?” I cover my face and look away.

“Yes,” I responded curtly.

“No you’re not,” Guillermo puts a hand on my shoulder to comfort me, rubbing it softly. “It’s okay to not feel okay after something like that. I remember the first time I saw a human die at the hands of vampires. It’s scary. You shouldn’t have had to see that,” he speaks so gently.

“I’m okay, really. I mean, yes it was scary… I guess I’m just glad Nandor got there in time.” Guillermo nods.

“Me too. You can thank him when he’s not all bloodlusted,” Guillermo almost reads my mind. 

“I’ll just clean up and it’ll be alright–” I begin.

“No. He’s already got the scent of your blood. He’s going to be touchy for the rest of the night. We need to get you patched up and to bed,” Guillermo cuts me off. “That is a talk that can happen another day.” I finally relent, nodding in agreement.

“Okay… Can I go get cleaned up now?” Guillermo turns the car off and walks beside me the entire way, keeping an eye out for Nandor. “I’ll be fine, you know?” He scoffs at my words.

“You’re as stubborn as him – I’ll give you that,” he mutters under his breath. When we make it in the house, Guillermo helps clean me up. Luckily, the other vampires were nowhere to be seen, though Guillermo was sure they could smell my blood. “I’m going to put a cross on your door tonight. Give you a couple stakes…” 

“Would that really be necessary?” Guillermo shoots me a look. 

“I’m not taking any risks. He’s dangerous and I will not have my sister getting bitten by a vampire,” he continued to dab a washcloth on the wound on my cheek. 

“It’s going to be a huge, ugly scar, isn’t it?” There’s a hint of despair in my voice. Guillermo sighs.

“I don’t know… Probably… But not ugly! Let’s… not worry about that right now,” he tries to filter his words, but it’s really no use. He begins to use alcohol prep pads on my skin, causing me to hiss through my teeth. 

“Ow, that really hurts,” Guillermo’s face turns sympathetic.

“You’re very strong. I don’t think it needs stitches: it wasn’t that deep. Can I put gauze on your cheek?” I nod.

“Here we go. It’ll be okay. You will be staying in your room tonight,” Guillermo’s words leave no room for argument. I groan at him, rolling my eyes.

“Fine,” Guillermo nods as he finishes disinfecting my face and putting gauze over it. 

“You’ll bounce back quickly. Something tells me you always do,” he gives me a wink and helps me stand before pushing me into my room. Guillermo places a stake on my bedside table, then goes to hang a cross on the front of the door. 

“Is all of this really necessary?” My question is exasperated. Guillermo shoots me a glare. 

“Is keeping you safe from a deadly vampire necessary? Oh geez, let’s think about that,” I roll my eyes again at his words. 

“Okay, thank you. Good night, Guillermo,” I sigh and place the hand over my gauze. Guillermo’s eyes soften and he makes his way to sit on my bed next to me. 

“You’ll be okay, I promise. I just want to be careful, you know?” I nod along to Guillermo’s words. 

“Thanks. I know you’re just looking out for me. I appreciate it,” I say to him sincerely. 

“Just rest. The morning will be here before you know it,” he leans over and gives me a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too… Good night,” I say to him. Guillermo smiles and makes his way to my door, closing it behind him. 

I wish I could say that I tried falling asleep, but I did not. I stayed awake for what felt like hours, tossing and turning in my bed. All I could think about was Nandor standing in the middle of the road, watching me drive away with Guillermo. There’s a level of guilt that falls on my shoulders as I think about that look he gave me. I hold my cheek, beginning to cry softly at the thought of my face being marred for the rest of my life. 

After crying for a long enough time to feel dehydrated afterwards, I hear the loud flapping of wings and a squeak outside my door. There’s a poof sound, followed shortly by a hissing as Nandor approaches my door. 

“Fucking guy,” Nandor hissed at the cross on my door. I stand, tiptoeing over to the door before cracking it open. Before me was Nandor, cleaned up and in the same outfit I saw him in earlier. His face immediately softened once he saw me. “Y/N… Are you okay?” He reaches a hand out and I flinch, a little afraid from what I saw earlier. 

“I’m alright, I promise. You… shouldn’t be here,” Nandor scoffs at my words.

“What did your brother tell you?” He spits the words. 

“He said you would be… touchy. I don’t want to irritate you,” I whisper, trying to make sure Guillermo wouldn’t hear us. Nandor’s face widens into a smirk.

“Oh no, my dear, wrong touchy,” I blush in surprise and he takes this as an opportunity to push past me, closing the door swiftly behind him as he carries me towards my bed. 

“Nandor! Please,” I protest as he lays me down on my bed, quickly following to curl up behind me.

“Please what, darling? Use your words,” he nuzzles against my face, nose rubbing against the gauze on my cheek. 

“I don’t– I can’t…” The words are lost on my lips and Nandor shushes me. 

“I know, darling. I can smell it on you,” he nuzzles against my cheek again, pressing a kiss to the gauze on my face. “A virgin, are we? I smelled it in your blood,” Nandor whispers as he puts an arm around me. I blush deeply in surprise that he was able to guess so easily. 

“I grew up very Catholic,” are the only words that leave my mouth. Nandor chuckles darkly.

“I don’t care. It doesn’t matter why, it matters that you are,” he kisses my cheek again. I shake my head again, trying in futility to deny.

“I ran away after you asked to kiss me,” Nandor stops suddenly, his grip loosening. 

“I will leave you if you wish it,” he continues to pull away. 

“No! I mean… you don’t have to,” I try to cover the desperation in my voice. Nandor chuckles again and leans in against me.

“You smell amazing,” Nandor continues to nuzzle against my cheek. 

“I shouldn’t have run away. I’m sorry,” I feel the remorse surge within me.

“Don’t be. I got a free meal of it,” he teases gently before nosing against the pulse point on my neck. 

“But I am sorry. I shouldn’t have left you. I should have told you that I’m afraid to get close to people, that it was never your fault–” Nandor nips my neck gently, causing the words to die in my throat.

“Hush, Y/N. Stop apologizing. I don’t want you wasting your breath on something I already understand,” he leans down and kisses my head. I flip to my other side, facing Nandor and getting a good look at him for the first time since the attack. His eyes are still a faint red, pupils blown wide with some primal feeling deep within him. I reach a hand up and push a strand of his hair behind his ear. I hear a low groan rise from his throat.

“What does it feel like?” I ask suddenly. Nandor pulls away to look at me.

“What does what feel like?”

“Drinking blood. Is it… I don’t know… enjoyable?” Nandor smirks as he looks at me. 

“I wouldn’t be able to explain it. Drinking blood is like nothing I ever did when I was a human. It feels so powerful, like something out of a movie,” Nandor gets lost in thought, staring out of the paper-covered window.

“What does it feel like for a human?” Nandor looks at me a moment, before answering.

“When I was turned, it was not a pleasant experience. I’m assuming that was due to the violence of the one turning me, but I’ve heard some humans find it to be a pleasant experience. Why?” Nandor asks the question he already knows the answer to.

“I… would you drink from me?” I look up at him shyly. Nandor’s breath hitches as he looks at me. 

“You would want that?” I nod, the words dying in my chest.

“Would you remember me?” Nandor looks perplexed by the question.

“I would know you through the rain and the snow, through every storm that appears in the night. Just because your blood calls to me doesn’t mean I will answer in violence,” Nandor leans down and presses a kiss to my undamaged cheek. 

“You make it sound so easy,” I whisper to him.

“For some, it really is.”

“Is it for you?” Nandor hesitates.

“No, but I will not forget you,” I lean forward and hug Nandor against me. 

“You saved my life once. I owe you, at the very least,” Nandor leans forward and captures my lips in a kiss. It is a deep and passionate kiss that conveys the days of yearning between us. I could imagine myself getting lost in that kind of yearning forever. The kind of yearning that leaves one seeking answers from the beginning of the first interaction. 

Nandor’s tongue presses against my lips, licking off any balm I put on there a few hours before. I open my mouth to him, breath getting stolen as he takes a greedy gulp of my air. 

“The second you view this as a transactionary agreement,” he starts as he pulls away from my lips, “you’ll forget how much I want to get to know you. I don’t want you to forget that,” he says as he presses a kiss to my nose. He pushes my head to the side gently, sniffing my pulse point and taking a moment to just sit there. 

“You’re so sweet,” I whisper to him.

“Sweet. That’s not a word that’s been used to address me before,” He laughs and presses a kiss to my neck. I giggle softly as he continues to press kisses to my neck. “I like those noises. You sound happy. I only want to hear you happy,” Nandor mutters against my neck.

“I hope that not always being happy is not a let-down,” Nandor chuckles again, nipping my neck softly. 

“Don’t speak as if you’re some consolation prize. I don’t care. I like you,” he mumbles against my skin. 

“Are you going to bite me now?” I ask, trying to deflect some of the attention he was putting towards me. Nandor nuzzles against my neck again, dragging his teeth along my neck. 

“The second you say it back, I will. I like you,” Nandor says, pulling away to look me in my eyes. I blush deeply, trying to maintain eye-contact with him.

“I like you, too,” I say as Nandor leans down and captures my lips in another kiss.

“That’s more like it,” he says, bending down and pressing a kiss to my jaw. He leans down and kisses against my neck, growling against my skin. “So warm, so soft, so sweet,” he sinks his fangs into my skin. It feels like a short needle prick and I jump a little in surprise. As I jump, Nandor’s hold on me tightens to keep me in place. I whimper a little as I feel him begin to take pulls of my blood. 

“That… feels really nice,” I mutter to myself, feeling as if I had entered a trance. Nandor groans as he continues to drink deeply from my neck. The sounds are lewd and wanton as my body curls into him. It feels as though a thousand hands are holding me against him, making me feel safe and protected in his arms.

He takes a couple more pulls of my blood before pulling away, licking the puncture wounds on my neck. He kisses the marks gently, groaning from deep in the back of his throat. 

“You taste divine,” he breathes the words as if they are keeping him alive. 

“That felt really nice,” I mutter, still in a daze. Nandor chuckles and holds my face in his hand.

“I’m sure it did. I made sure to be gentle with you,” he says as he kisses the spot where he bit again. There are moments like these that help one realize just how connected blood really makes us. It feels as if we are bonded in some way, and I can tell Nandor is feeling it, too. “I’m sure you can feel how intense things are right now. Just take a deep breath, okay?” He holds eye-contact with me and takes a deep breath, trying to get me to follow suit. When I do, he smiles and kisses my cheek. “Good girl,” he whispers. My eyebrows knit together with his nickname.

“Oh, you liked that, did you, darling?” He kisses my lips quickly before saying, “my good girl,” once again.

4am - Nandor’s POV

Nandor woke up with you in his arms, feeling the weight and security you offered him. However, after a moment of peace, he feels something pressed against his back. 

“Get up,” Guillermo’s voice is a deep warning. 

“Guillermo–” Nandor tries to speak.

“Get up. I will not ask again,” he hisses again, holding the stake against Nandor’s back. Nandor looks over as you begin to stir. 

“You wouldn’t want to wake her up, would you?” Nandor’s voice is a deep purr. 

“Did you bite her?” Guillermo already knows the answer.

“Only because she asked,” Nandor nearly taunts Guillermo, who grabs Nandor and pulls him out of the bed. 

“I told you to leave my sister alone,” Guillermo growls at Nandor, who holds his hands up in defense. 

“She invited me in,” Guillermo frowns at Nandor’s words. When you stir, they both look over in surprise.

“Did anyone think about asking me what I wanted?” You stare at the two of them, glaring at Guillermo. “Yes, I invited him in. Yes, I realize that may sound dumb to you. No, I do not regret it,” Guillermo bristles at your words.

“I’m just making sure you’re safe,” his voice is a strangled mix of frustrated and calm. 

“Unhand Nandor, dude,” you say to your brother, who begrudgingly lets him go. Guillermo storms out of the room, causing you to want to go after him. 

“Don’t. He needs a minute alone,” Nandor starts.

“You don’t know what he needs. I need to apologize to him.” You get up and make your way out of the room, heading down the stairs to find Guillermo fuming in the kitchen. 

Guillermo’s POV

“I’m sorry,” are all the words you can muster. He hears you from behind him and he turns around, glaring.

“I told you to leave it alone for the night, and what did you do? Not that. Certainly not what your brother asks you to do,” you frown.

“It’s fine, he was fine! Nothing happened,” at your words, Guillermo’s eyes flicker to the puncture wounds on your neck. She flushes in embarrassment and quickly covers up the marks. “Nothing beyond that.”

“I don’t care what happened between the two of you, I want Nandor to be good to my sister. I don’t want him to lose interest the second you lose your novelty to him.”

“I don’t think I’m some novelty to him. I think he likes me–” Guillermo holds a hand up to quiet his sister. 

“I need to speak with Nandor,” he says with a biting edge to his tone. 

“Not with that stake, you don’t,” Y/N says with a glare thrown his way. Guillermo huffs, standing up from the table and walking out of the kitchen without his stake. As he stomps his way up the stairs, he sees Nandor peer from out of his room. 

“You, me, talk. Now,” Nandor opens the door for him, allowing him entry. 

“Guillermo!” Nandor says with a friendly lilt in his voice, trying to appeal to Guillermo’s normally good-natured attitude. “What is cracking, friend? How has your day been going?” Guillermo looks at Nandor’s room, still in complete disarray from the night before. He turns at Nandor and looks up at him. 

“When you said you wanted to court my sister, I could have killed you. When I saw you holding my sister this morning, I almost killed you,” Nandor shrinks from Guillermo’s words. But, he sighs. “Be good to her. That’s not a lot to ask for, is it?” Nandor immediately shakes his head. 

“I will be the best to her. Only the best she deserves,” Guillermo nods, thinking over Nandor’s words. He huffs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“If you so much as break her heart, I’ll put a stake through yours,” Guillermo threatens. Nandor crosses his fingers over his heart.

“Scout’s honor,” he bares his teeth in a little smile at his bodyguard. Nandor nearly jumps for joy as he makes his way out of the room to find you. When he sees you at the bottom of the stairs, Nandor grabs you around your waist and spins you around, kissing your bandaged cheek again. 

Y/N's POV

“Well, that went well…” I say with a laugh as Nandor brings me closer to kiss my cheek. 

“It did. Better than I could have ever imagined, my morning star,” I blush at his nickname, which elicits a satisfied noise from Nandor. “You like my little nicknames?” Nandor leans in and kisses my lips once again with a surprising amount of gentle energy. He dips me once my feet touch the floor, breaking apart only to look at me with the same reverence as yesterday. 

“Yes, I could get used to the nicknames,” Nandor smiles brightly, his fangs bared. 

“Anything for you, little one,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss me again.

[localowlhousefanatic]

Tag game!

so, i just discovered that the fanfic question id ussualy answer around this time is out of commision, so im making a tag game! for some reason the only thing i can think of is a poem-ish thing (it rhymes, thats the poem part.) for a list, so thats what we're going with! First ill give you an explanation of the question, before providing my own answer! With all of these, feel free to add a link to the story uyou're pulling from

something old

(here, please provide a bit you wrote a bit ago from an older fic taht you like! Is the question referring to an old fic you like, or a bit? you decide!)

my answer:

As she tugged on the cord next to the window, Masha couldn’t help but be reminded of a stage play by the way the warm, orange sunlight hit their mother- like a spotlight turning on at the lifting of the curtain. The angle also didn’t help, Placing Masha in such a position that mom was framed as a silhouette, like they were watching from the wings at the opening moments of a play.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47992501)

something new

(here, provide your favorite bit from among the three most recent things you've either published or worked on. Why three? Idk, maybe this post works by fairytale logic now)

my answer:

That isn’t to say that there’s no blue around her- there’s plenty, just not the Blue that matters. Theres the Blue streetlights, casting a light that’s almost negligible in the screaming buzz of neon billboards and signs, some of which are blue. The light- so sharp and loud its almost toxic- Cuts through the rain, and bounces off of the layer of water covering the street, and fills the thin mist that’s gathering above the ground, giving the entire street the feeling of being a mix of nightclub and dream. There’s blue everywhere around Red, but it only serves to remind her of the overwhelming need inside her- it’s like handing a cold person a candle, providing just enough warmth to dangle the possibility of comfort in front of them, but not nearly enough to stave off the cold.

Something borrowed,

(sharing time! share a bit from, or a fic, you enjoy from someone else. please credit your sources though)

my answer:

This is just a really good fic. Its also by a really good writer, who deserves all the love

Something Blue

If youve been wondering why ive coloured the headers up until this point, heres your answer: the blue bit.

(please either share a bit/fic you wroite taht made you, teh author , sad. And for those of us who dont do taht often, just provide something you think of with something blue. This might be getting a bit weird now, sorry.)

whoops, ive used my blue bits already at the top. Well, i did just remeber teh one other time i focussed on the colour blue. behold,

 The girl that was looking back at them was dressed impeccably, Masha noted. She was wearing a long royal blue trenchcoat, the type you would expect on a noir detective. Gods, I want that coat. They also noted the fact that it was a crumpled mess. A coat shouldn’t be so messy and yet look so good on someone, they thought with a pang of jealousy. The coat wasn’t the only thing that was a mess though. The girl wearing it looked like she hadn’t slept in a while, indicated by light bags under her eyes that she obviously hadn’t tried to conceal.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/47040430/chapters/118509421)

im sorry for the slight mess that was this post, i hope you people can have fun with it. I think that im supposed to give you numbers here or something, but i dont know that many writers here, so ill just tell you to tag who you want

following my own advice: @topheecoffee @queereldritch @oh-cramity-its-amity @sky-neverending @bonpocalypse @usernamemybeloathed

and for a riskier tag, @captainimprobable

[dailyhonakana]

admin 🎼 here - happy first week of daily honakana except not really because we missed yesterday, whoops! i’ll be trying my hardest to make an extra post (once i work up the motivation to)!!

anyway today im here to announce i figured out im bi and honakana was part of the reason why 👍 here’s, somehow, a five-paragraph ramble about that! this doesn’t really fit the blog’s usual posts but i figured i’d talk about it because i didn’t want us to miss posting two days in a row, and i wanted to discuss how special these two random ass girls are to me <3 this is pretty personal but i thought id get it out somewhere and this blog seems fitting enough. if its too long then just know the moral of the story is that honakana changed my life

okay so i do like guys, which is something i cannot deny. i hardly even considered the possibility of me liking girls as well, though, until i downloaded project sekai on my phone. Yes, until I downloaded project sekai. i was already a huge vocaloid fan (not to the ridiculous extent i currently am, but it was still one of my most important interests!), so of course i became a huge prsk fan, too. i immediately grew attached to nightcord, and kanade in particular! why her? i couldn’t tell you, but boy did i really like her. and i still do!

i was an active shipper of some characters from some different fandoms at this point, combing through google for ship art and reading tons of ao3 works and basically searching everywhere for scraps of content of them. all my favorite couples were straight, though - i was fine with gay pairings, but didn’t care all that much about them. now, i was thinking a lot about kanamafu (who i still love too!). and then i wondered if anyone was shipping kanade with her housekeeper. i proceeded to go to ao3 and read all of skwakr’s works, and then all the few other works tagged with honakana, and then i followed the tag and looked everywhere for honakana fanart to save and honakana AUs and canon honakana moments and whatever other content i could find of them. somehow despite the fact they had hardly anything together in canon or fanon (at the time, anyway) they were my new obsession.

why? again, i couldn’t exactly tell you. i think it had something to do with how sweet and uncomplicated their relationship was, though - it was easy to believe honami would always care for kanade, and kanade would always leave time for her, and both would unconditionally love the other with nothing stopping them. i also think it must have been because of how well skwakr portrayed that unconditional love (go read their works if you haven’t, they express such great love in so few words and they’re incredible!!!). it seemed so real to me, real enough i somehow managed to fall in love with honakana as much as each was in love with the other. oh yeah and this was while my first (male!) crush was raging on - i turned to a pair of fictional girls dating for comfort while constantly pining over him. that was incredible of me. i mean i still do that tbf

i eventually lost my interest in prsk itself and got rid of the game, but my interest in honakana didn’t waver much. i didn’t actively interact with the fandom or read every single honakana fic that was released - i didn’t even find out about their wedding event until a few months ago - but i continued thinking about the two of them frequently. recently, i started the game again, for a reason i don’t remember. i don’t think i was planning on playing it much; then, i learned about the event and that it was coming to the EN server in a few months, and after not playing for so long, i suddenly had a goal waiting to be completed in those few months. i needed to rank high on the leaderboard, and i needed to do it for those two fictional lesbians i loved so much, for some reason.

a new, more agonizing crush is currently raging on for me. i’m pretty sure the object of that crush now thinks i’m a lesbian after having explained my need to tier in the event to him (and also having an icon of marcille donato on discord). it’s now a day since the event’s ended and i’ve been thinking a lot about my orientation - yes, mainly because of him, but also because it’s something i haven’t really figured out about myself. i’ve never liked a girl as much as those two boys, but i consider way more girls from fictional media hot than guys, and there’s also … all of this to consider. i don’t know how else to say it: i do not think there is a heterosexual explanation for my two-year-strong obsession with the not-even-that-fleshed-out relationship of two girls who are not real and are not dating. somehow, they’ve been as much of a constant presence in my life as that first crush was! and so thinking about it today i have decided i do not give a shit if i’ve only ever liked real guys and fake girls, i am bi and nobody gets to decide that except for me. who cares? no one should, except for me! thank you for reading my pouring my heart out about two random anime girls and good night. i need to go to sleep save me honakana

[lime-sketches114]

Last Pegasus Ch. 1

Hello everyone and welcome to the FIRST CHAPTER of my original story! I know it's been a LONG while since I posted the Prologue to this story so I hope you all who read this will be interested in further chapters and artworks! This is my dream to put my characters into a story and share with people! This story was inspired by many things so I hope it's fun!

🚫🚫🚫PLEASE DO NOT STEAL THIS IS AN ORIGINAL WORK!!!🚫🚫🚫

💚💚💚PLZ LIKE SHARE AND COMMENT YOUR OPINIONS! ID LIKE TO SEE EM AND PLZ GIVE A FOLLOW FOR MORE!💚💚💚

Thank you and happy reading!

💜- Kat/Lime the Author

WARNINGS: censored cursing, anxiety, mostly safe stuff, very fluffy and wholesome

As the sun started to rise high in the sky, I sat alone in the garden. Doodling away in my sketchbook as my younger sister practiced magic. It was late summer for us as the breeze blew by. Even the cold hasn't nipped the warmth yet. My mind fluttered to new lands as I drew. It was like from memories in past lives but that would be silly. A misfired spell brought me back to my senses with a scream and I looked in the direction of my sister.

"Whoops…sorry sis…" she apologized.

"It's alright Ava, but try not to do complicated spells too often. Your tattoos haven't even come in and you're much older than 13 years old." I patted her head.

"I know but I'm tired of it all…I want to be like you guys and fly or do complicated spells and tricks!" She sighed as her ears drooped.

"One day you'll have your chance. Just be patient" I picked up my sketchbook.

"Just like how you're testing Uncle Laurence's patience?"

I looked at her confused then looked at my phone. Oh sh*t. I WAS LATE!!!

"Great Gods! I'm late!! I have to go Ava…umm…try not to blow up the castle by accident…again" I chuckled nervously then raced to the stables to find my wolf, Urion, waking up from his nap.

"I take it you just looked at your phone…" he yawned.

"Shush! Yes and now I'm late! Come on!" I climbed onto his big back and we were off to the town below the castle. 

Racing down the main street we stopped at the location we were to meet at. It was a local cafe my twin worked at. The streets along the way seem to be bustling in the early light of day as buildings line the sidewalks. People from far and wide have seemed to call this kingdom home for as long as I can remember. After a bit of running, we arrived at the cafe. Urion let me off and turned into a human form to not take up space plus he didn't want to shed in the place.

"Welcome your majesty~~~" Speaking of the daemons themselves…my twin piped in.

"Flash you know you don't have to blurt that out loud"

"I know but it's funny, Uncle Laurence came in about an hour ago, you're lucky he's lenient on you."

"I know and I'm sorry, could you make my drink to go while I speak to him" I held up my card.

"No problem, I'm about to get off my shift anyways, Doofus can cover me"

"But you're the manager here…"

"And he's co-manager" they raised their brow.

"And I wonder what he's more into…you or the leadership complex in general…"

"Just shut up and go to Uncle Laurence" they huffed

I chuckled as I made my way to the couches in the back. There I saw our Uncle. He was clutching his cane in front of him. He was still pretty young for his age to be handicapped the way he was but it was an accident that caused his predicament. He came out of his thoughts from staring out the window when I approached and he gave a soft smile.

"Ah, Kat, I see you woke Urion up as well. He needed the exercise." My uncle chuckled as he adjusted himself with a beaming smile he always seemed to have.

"Yeah…sorry for being late, I was stuck in my fantasy world while Ava practiced. Her misfire brought me back to reality" I chuckled embarrassingly.

"Is that so hm? Well as long as she didn't hurt herself…" he sighed

"So what did you want to talk about? Is it more training? A new spell? Are you getting weaker??" I asked.

"I'm just fine, I just wanted to tell you, since your 21st birthday is coming up, your final training courses will be up soon. Soon you'll be one step closer to being a fully fledged Guardian." He smiled.

"Fully fledged?! B-but what will happen to you?"

"Only time will tell but I just wanted to get it out of the way while I still can…before I'm bound to a bed or wheelchair for the rest of my days."

"That is true…" my ears drooped.

"Don't be so doubtful of your abilities either, I know you'll do well and make a name for yourself."

"If you say so, may I ask why? Why so soon?" I looked at him with concern.

"There have been some…changes in the world and I need you and your siblings to investigate it further in my stead. I fear it may be more that I can handle on my own." He adjusted in his seat, fiddling with the top of his cane.

I nodded as my thoughts began to wander about. Why now? Why me? Are my siblings and I ready for such responsibilities? Am I truly ready…? I guess only time will tell of my predicament. Then the sound of the slamming employee door brought me back to reality again. There stood Flash with drinks in hand near us.

"Oi! I just got off! Where are we going? Sounded important Uncle Hobbs" Flash cracked a smile.

"…I wish your father didn't teach you that nickname…" Uncle Laurence chuckled out a sigh as he prepared to get up, "We're gonna head out to the Council House to address certain matters that have popped up in different regions of our world. Important matters."

"Sweet…road trip" Flash smirked as she handed us our drinks before sipping on hers.

"Will others be joining us?" I spoke up.

"I've already briefed Gavin of the situation early this morning but it's up to you to see what you want to do after this meeting." He announced as he got up with a wobble. Urion caught his arm as he leaned.

"Steady…" Urion said in a calm monotone voice.

"You really are like your mother, young one" Laurence smiled as he stood tall before looking at me. "My leg hasn't given out completely yet! I'll be fine, Lil Dove."

"If you say so but if you ever feel weak, I'll make sure Auntie Atla gives you an ear full when she gets the chance!" I giggled.

"But I'm only in my late forties~" he said in a sing-song tone.

"Forty going on eighty…" Flash smirked while sipping her coffee. Uncle Laurence tilted his cane to trip her up while being stable. Nearing spilling the coffee in the process as Flash walked into the trap.

I snickered as I saw the stumbling act. Flash was glaring forwards as we walked out of the coffee shop together.

★★★★★

After fifteen to twenty minutes of walking down the sidewalks of Yoitz, we arrived at the Council House downtown. Walking down the ivory carpeted hallways of the building we made it to a meeting room. Along the way my anxiety was being tossed left and right. I was just a little nervous ball and Flash just sipped away, holding my hand. As soon as we all sat down, Uncle Laurence pulled out some documents pertaining to the situations he mentioned.

"Since you two will be 21 in a few months, I figured I should share some important information with you to lighten my load a bit. You are old enough to shoulder a reasonable task at hand. My Guardian duties are not a walk in the park." He had a saddened look on his face before he took a deep breath and lets out a tired sigh.

"W-Why? What's going on?" My stutter slipped into my words.

Uncle Laurence opened up the folder he had in his bag, "We don't know the complete story but there has been a rise of Gryffin activity near the north west coast of Scavaheim, near the port town of Hearth Harbor. The locals there have been getting worried with the Test of Bravery coming up at the end of the month."

"What are a bunch of big birds gonna do huh? The Scavens are Giants are they not?!" Flash hissed.

Uncle Laurence glanced at Flash with a stern look, "Yes but they're sacred animals to the patron deity in the area and there's not much they can do besides defend and scare them off."

"Is there something we can do? What about Auntie Atla? What is she doing on the matter?" I spoke up.

"I have sent her to look into the matter but she may need your help for future insights while she takes care of the Test of Bravery." He looked at us.

"Don't you want to…ya know…meet her?" Flash spoke in a sarcastic-like tone, raising an eyebrow.

"As much as I would LOVE to see her, I've already been told off by her to stay and rest up. She gave me an earful earlier this week…" he said in a defeated way. Good job Auntie.

"Well she is your wife and the Guardian of Bravery! Of course she's looking out for your well being!" I chuckled.

"She's stubborn, that's what she is…" he giggled out a smile.

"Who all will be going with us to Scavaheim?" Flash drank the last of her coffee and tossed it in the trash.

"Your sister Terri will be joining you along with Gavin for good measure. Terri will also be joining in this year's Test of Bravery among other young Scavens. You'll prepare to leave by the end of the week." Laurence said with a serious tone.

"We'll do just that Sir, you can count on us!" I nodded a smile.

"I know I can, just try your best and lead them" Laurence placed a hand on my shoulder and then we hugged. We hugged for a short while before Flash, Urion and I left the building with the report.

My stomach began to flip flop in my body. My worries must really want to become real as I held my, possibly cold by now, hot chocolate. This will be my first time traveling without my parents or my uncle outside the kingdom. I try to calm myself by putting documents in my bag and sipping on my drink. A message notification got me out of my thoughts again. I looked at my phone to see a message from my adoptive brother, Gavin. He felt more like a friend than a brother but more or less he lived in the castle with us, and now he has his own place. I tapped on the notification to see what he wanted.

[ Hey you ok? Just got off from work ]

[ Yeah… just a little worried…was in a meeting with Flash and Urion. He looked super bored lol ]

[ Overwhelming huh? ]

[ …Yeah… ]

[ Pizza or Steak? ]

[ Pizza plz ]

[ No problem, see you soon. Be careful coming over ]

[ Thanks Gavin, see ya ]

"That your boyfriend~~~?" Flash was leaning over with a sneaky smirk, looking at my phone.

"AH!? NO!!" I retaliated.

"Jeez!!! I'm kidding! I know it's Gavin…" Flash chuckled, "I'll see you soon, I'll find my own way home, you take Urion to Gavin's"

"Thanks, I'll save you a slice" I smiled and walked in the direction of Gavin's apartment with Urion.

As we walked I could tell Urion was looking at me. Poor thing always worries in silence. I gave him a soft smile as I held his hand for good measure. I could tell his non-existent tail was wagging on his human form before he turned into a wolf again. We soon arrived at the apartment complex, I buzzed us into the building. Urion stood close to me as we walked to the door and I unlocked it with my spare key. There stood Gavin setting up the coffee table with pizzas and drinks. He turned around and smiled his signature gentle grin. He sure does know how to host guests that's for sure.

"Welcome Home, Your Highness" he spoke in a joking matter as he gestured to the coffee table and couch.

"Ha Ha very funny, you know me butthead" I chuckled and gave him a big hug.

As he hugged back, he breathed out a chuckle, "I know, just wanted to hear you laugh Kat. How did you fare on the way here?"

"Her aura seems tense and unsure…" Urion spoke up as his fluffy butt laid next to Gavin's wolf, Acadia.

"Urion…" I pouted. "Yeah…it was nerve-racking…"

"It must be hard to jump this far into training" Gavin sat down.

"Well I'll be traveling with you, Flash, and Terri to Scavaheim! It's been a while since I've been there and let alone without mom or dad…" I hugged myself.

"Don't worry about a thing, we take this one step at a time and enjoy the more…brighter sides of the mission, ok?" Gavin smiled.

"Right…I'll try…" I nodded and sat beside him, "I'm glad I won't be alone in this whole ordeal…but… I'm worried about Uncle Laurence's condition. I wish he would just get better somehow…"

"I'm sure he'll be fine until the celebration comes around. He's too stubborn to die just yet." Gavin chuckled. "You're smart, Kat, I know you'll figure things out in no time"

I smiled as he handed me a plate of food. I nodded in agreement as I took a few bites of my food and a few sips of my drink. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the wiggle of a controller. I smirked and grabbed it. We played games and had fun late into the night. Dwindling my anxiety away, fizzling out my worries. The mission ahead will be tough, I know that, but with my family around me to help guide me is all the courage I need for now. A new beginning of being a Guardian will be a long and hard road and I also know it's a fruitful one. Who knows…I might meet someone new to help us and be friends? Only the future will tell. Scavaheim here I come!

( not my image, just a placer until I can make art, it's a Google image)

[syrupmancer]

bed bath blockade battlefront & beyond

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Irresistible Danger - Part 60

Synopsis:  After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)

Words: 3,229

Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing

ID Masterlist can be found HERE

Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE

Author’s Note: We’re back! Omg y’all...I finally have a path to the ending for this fic! After this chapter, I’m planning for there to be 5 more chapters until the end, which will give ID a total of 65 chapters. I’m still working on writing and editing these last chapters, but I’m pretty confident in that timeline :D I also plan to post each Friday again, so there should be chapters now through September 10th, if all goes according to plan. 

PDA

You woke with a smile the next morning, partially because of the happiness filling your chest like a balloon. The other part was because the warm body behind you, accompanied by a rasp of beard on your shoulder and soft lips on your neck, signalled that you weren’t alone. 

The florid orange rays coming in the large windows told you that it was still early, the sun barely risen above the horizon. Turning over onto your other side to face Negan, you took in his tousled hair and heavy-lidded gaze. 

“Mornin’ doll,” he said, voice raspy with sleep. 

“Morning,” you whispered back, pressing a kiss to his irresistible mouth. “No crack-of-dawn meetings today?”

His lips quirked against yours. “Nope, thank fuck,” he murmured, before rolling atop you and spending a good portion of the morning taking you apart with pleasure, then putting you back together piece by piece with cuddles and toe-curling kisses. 

When he later glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost 10am, he gave a groan and flopped onto his back with a forearm covering his eyes. “Much as I’d love to stay here all day, I gotta go with a couple Saviors to check out one of the nearby outposts. They reported some concerns about their fucking security measures, and also requested a few more men be stationed out there to help divvy up their shifts, so I wanna go see if there’s any fucking issues for myself.”

While you felt a tiny thrill that he was so willing to tell you this information, to let you know about his duties as leader, you also had a moment of worry about him possibly assigning more men out to work the outpost. “Is that the one you brought Simon in from a couple weeks ago?” 

Knowing exactly where your thoughts were headed, he said, “Don’t get your fucking panties in a bunch, doll. If the outpost needs more hands, I was planning to send a couple of my newer Saviors.”

Pleased at this response, you smiled and leaned in close so your mouth was hovering mere millimeters from his, before whispering, “I’m not wearing any panties to get in a bunch.” 

Before he could react, you rolled out of the bed and strode to the bathroom, putting a little extra swing to your hips. The growl and unmistakable rustling sound of sheets being thrown off was your only warning before Negan scooped you up into his arms and marched into the bathroom. 

An hour later and you were both sufficiently clean (after first getting extra dirty against the shower wall), and you saw Negan off from his rooms with a kiss and warning to be careful. He gave an arrogant smirk at that, which got him an eye roll and playful shake of your head as a response. 

You watched as he strode down the hall towards the staircase, shoulders encased in leather and his whistle echoing off the walls. While they’d never dare ask him about it, you couldn’t help but give a little smile at the thought of his men wondering why the hell their usually punctual leader was almost ten minutes late to leave for the outpost...and why he seemed so happy about it.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Unable to contain your excitement over the events of the night before, you headed over to Ben’s room not long after Negan left. Thankfully he was there, having just returned from finishing up serving breakfast. His roommate was out this time, so you were able to huddle across from one another on his bottom bunk and catch him up on your conversation with Negan.

Ben listened intently, mouth slowly falling further and further open as you went on. When you got to the part about Negan admitting he wanted only you, and called you his partner, Ben let out a whoop of joy and threw his arms around you in a hug. 

“I knew it!” he exclaimed. “That big lug is head over heels for you.” 

The two of you chatted happily for a bit, before you left and wandered back down to your own room. It had felt like forever since you had a chunk of time to just relax in your bed without over analyzing or stressing over something Negan-related. Gone was the weight of that padlocked box of questions, which made both your brain and subconscious very happy. The three of you snuggled up on the bed and spent the next couple of hours finishing your re-read of Harry Potter before it was time to head down to the kitchen for dinner prep. 

Today’s menu consisted of lasagna using leftover deer meat thawed from the freezer, with the signature side of rolls. Trixie had unofficially promoted herself as being in charge of roll duty, making sure the dough was the right consistency and the ovens at the perfect baking temperature. She wasn’t rude about it, but the little bit of authority she showed when instructing another staff member how to properly knead the dough seemed to fulfill her need to be seen as a knowledgeable and important part of the staff. And in all honesty, none of her feedback to the others was incorrect, so rather than reprimand her or say she was out of line, you had caught her eye at one point and given an almost imperceptible nod of approval. This caused her smile to beam so bright that it was a wonder you didn’t need sunglasses. 

As it turned out, you weren’t the only one who had noticed Trixie’s presence and been keeping a stealthy eye on her. Andrew, a member of the food prep crew, had been not-so-subtly following Trixie with his gaze lately, and today was no exception. He was an attractive man in his early 20s with shoulder-length black hair and kind brown eyes, a much more appropriate candidate for Trixie than her previous choice.

It seemed safe to say that Trixie was aware of the attention as well, as she found every reason possible to flounce past where Andrew was busy loading trays of lasagna into an oven. At one point, she even stopped to chat briefly with him, and out of the corner of your eye you saw her toss back her head and laugh at something he said. If it seemed a bit overly dramatic to you, well, Andrew didn’t seem to mind. In fact, her reaction caused him to fumble with the tray of pasta he was holding, almost spilling the entire thing onto the ground. He thankfully saved it at the last second, otherwise you would’ve had to interrupt and lecture the two of them about focusing on their work and not chit-chatting. And you didn’t want to do that, not when Trixie finally seemed interested in a guy more her age who was actually available and seemed to genuinely like her. 

Despite your initial tension with Trixie, you now realized that she had just been struggling to find where she fit in, to feel like an important part of the community. She’d initially been scooped up and led astray by Amber, but thankfully she had found her way back on the correct path and was making progress at getting along with the others, rather than isolating herself and using condescension as an emotional wall. Someone like Andrew, who was kind-hearted and considerate, not to mention absolutely captivated by her, was exactly what she needed. 

Focusing your attention away from young romance and back to meal prep, you spent the next forty-five minutes making sure everything was baked to perfection before sending out the first trays of lasagna and rolls. However, your mind kept randomly returning to Negan, almost unable to contain a secret smile each time you remembered where the two of you now stood. The usual worry and second-guessing had been replaced by the stability of knowing how he felt, and each time you remembered his words from last night a flutter of butterflies went off in your stomach. 

Negan had told you this morning that the outpost he and a small team of men were going to was less than an hour’s drive from the Sanctuary, so he planned to be back around dinnertime. Sure enough, about 20 minutes into when the first round of food was being served, you saw a small group of Saviors enter the cafeteria and settle down at a table. You guessed that they were the ones who had been out on the mini mission, and breathed a sigh of relief at seeing them back safely and with jovial expressions on their faces. You could always tell when things went wrong on a run, due to the overall aura of the men who returned, but this time they were smiling and talking animatedly with one another. Hopefully this also meant that Negan was in a happy, and perhaps affectionate, mood when you went to visit him later...

It was as if your thoughts had conjured the man himself. You were out in the cafeteria with a large water pitcher, making rounds to refill empty glasses for people, when a hush in conversation made you still and look up.

And there he was, standing at the entrance to the cafeteria with his signature leather jacket unzipped just enough so that the edge of a white tee peeked out over the top. He scanned over the tables like a king surveying his domain, looking both intimidating and absolutely delicious with the arrogant way he held himself, as if he had no cares in the world but was also ready to take on anything.

When his eyes landed on you, those sinful lips quirked upwards at the edges, and you swore that even from the distance of half a cafeteria you could see his golden gaze light up at the sight of you. He moved, striding with determination and purpose to close the space between your bodies. The breath caught in your chest at his beauty, at the raw masculinity and almost animal magnetism that surrounded him. 

He stopped mere inches away, and you gazed up at him in both welcome and a bit of confusion. Trying to act calm and unaffected, and not show how much you wanted to grin and launch yourself at him, you said, “Welcome back.” 

Your eyebrow cocked in question when he shook his head with a low chuckle. “Oh no, doll, that won’t do at all.” And with that, he wrapped an arm around your waist and lowered his head...

And kissed you in front of the entire Sanctuary. 

A wave of shock jolted through you, at the same time as your body automatically responded, molding itself to his. Your brain was flatlined on the floor from the unexpected move, while your subconscious ran around it in circles screaming with excitement. 

You could practically feel all the astonished stares from community members, as they watched their all-powerful leader break one of his cardinal rules and kiss you to within an inch of your life. And dear god, what a kiss it was! His lips were firm yet gentle, his tongue just barely tracing your bottom lip, as if he couldn’t help but steal a little taste. He wasn’t holding back, and the primal part of you recognized that he was publicly staking his claim for all to see. There could be no question after this moment that you were his, and that he wanted everyone to know it. 

When he finally pulled back, you could only look up at him with what must’ve been an utterly dazed expression, if his pleased smirk was anything to go by. Glancing to his left and then right, his brow furrowed and expression turned serious as he bellowed, “What the fuck are you all looking at?”

His words had the desired effect, as eyes dropped back to their plates and the community stuttered back to action, obviously trying and failing to act like something monumental didn’t just happen. You’d have given a lot of points to know what they were all thinking, but you didn’t see any angry expressionsand no one had said anything or acted out of line, so hopefully that was a good sign. 

Negan’s warm hand rubbed comfortingly up your bare arm, and it was then that you noticed he didn’t have his gloves on. That also sparked the realization that he wasn’t carrying Lucille, which was strange since he always had her on his person when making an appearance in front of the community. 

Now that you’re thinking about it, did he even have her this morning, when he left?

You thought back to when you had kissed him goodbye and watched as he walked down the hallway. Surely he’d have taken her with him to the outpost...but you honestly couldn’t remember seeing her up over his shoulder. You had to just be forgetting, because there was no way he’d leave her behind. 

That train of thought was brought to a halt when the hand on your arm trailed down along your waist and settled possessively on your hip. “I wanted to put in a request for one of your staff members to bring two servings of dinner to my room, for Simon and yours truly.” 

Before you could ask if he needed time alone once you were done with dinner, he provided the answer. “We need to go over the fucking outpost inspection results, but I’ll come and find you once it’s done.” It was the second time he’d done that today, answering a question before you had the chance to voice it out loud, which was a sign of how well he was coming to predict your thought process. 

You were still a bit in shock at all of this, especially how he was discussing his evening plan with you so publicly and audibly, as if to show that you were more than just his in a physical sense. He was broadcasting to the community that you were what he had already told you last night: his partner. His voice had been low enough that only the nearby tables would’ve heard, but you knew every moment of this interaction would be spread across the entire community within minutes after he left. 

Giving a smile and trying to look like ‘yep, this is completely normal, no big deal, I am totally not internally screaming with joy and wanting to climb his fine ass like a tree’, you replied, “Of course. I’ll have it sent up immediately.”

“Thanks, doll,” he said with a final smirk. Then his face morphed back into the intense, badass expression of the Sanctuary’s leader, and he strode out of the cafeteria. 

You were left standing there, still a bit shell-shocked by what had just occurred, but also giddy as hell over it. That emotional high was only slightly dimmed by the awareness that now, with Negan gone, you were the sole center of everyone’s attention. A quick scan of the cafeteria showed that most community members were trying not to openly stare. However, the lack of chewing and frequent side glances thrown your way as your legs finally unfroze and started back towards the kitchen were proof that they had all seen Negan’s display of affection. 

While the rest of the community might’ve at least been making a feeble attempt not to obviously stare, the same couldn’t be said of the kitchen staff. At least a couple of them must’ve witnessed what happened when serving trays of food, and those members must’ve scurried back to the kitchen to report it to the others. Every single one of them was staring in wide-eyed silence with a mixture of shock and fascinated curiosity when you walked back through the swinging doors. 

Even though your face felt heated and you were a bit off-kilter, you still managed to sound slightly firm when announcing, “Alright folks, back to work. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”

You breathed a sigh of relief when they didn’t argue, but a couple of them did give knowing grins, Trixie included, though at least they all seemed good-natured about it. Trying to act as though your world hadn’t just been spun off its axis with that public kiss, you went over to Ben, who was the only one that had stayed fairly composed the entire time. In fact, his eyes danced with mirth and he was obviously trying to hold back a smirk, so you felt only minimally evil when telling him of Negan’s request that two servings of dinner be taken up to his rooms for him and Simon. Ben gave a playful glare when you told him to take up the food himself, saying it loud enough that some others heard, making him unable to say no without looking a bit suspect. 

When the tray was ready to go a few minutes later, you quietly murmured to Ben as he passed by on his way out of the kitchen, “Say hi to Simon for me.” The words caused a hint of pink to flare in his cheeks as he gave a halfhearted glare. You almost felt guilty for teasing him, but knew Ben would more than forgive you when Negan came through on his promise to get Simon his own room.  

Though the kitchen staff still threw glances your way here and there, they quickly fell back into their usual routine and no one made any direct comments. You were safe from scrutiny...at least for now. At least no one seemed to have any extreme concerns about what had happened, making you wonder how many of them had suspected what was going on between you and Negan before now.

Once dinner and cleanup were over, you headed back up to your room. Negan had said he would come find you when he was ready, so you planned to just lay back and relax until then. 

Oh, who were you kidding. After that kiss, you were totally going to sit on your bed and think about all the dirty things you wanted to do to him the moment the two of you were alone. 

Trying to convince yourself that you could be at least semi-productive and pretend to have a hobby other than fantasizing about the leader of the Sanctuary, you pulled the copy of Harry Potter off your bedside table. You were just opening to the first page, planning to restart it again from the beginning, when a firm knock sounded at your door. 

Pulse jumping with excitement, you rose from the bed and didn’t even hesitate to cross the room and reach for the doorknob. It never occurred to you that it might be anyone other than Negan, let alone for it to be the last person you’d have ever expected to see at your door. But things had been going so well today that it was almost as if fate was bored with your happiness and wanted to add some drama to the mix. 

Totally ignoring the warning prickle that ran up your spine, you opened the door with a welcome smile. It quickly died on your lips at the sight of who was standing on the other side, hands on hips and eyes throwing daggers your way. 

It was Amber...and she looked pissed.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

[phoneybeatlemania]

I wonder if Paul knows lot of his fans here think his belly is super cute. Like most people here who like Paul love his squish. I think he's actuslly kinda insecure about it. Apparently he doesnt like talking about being overweight as a kid its a sore topic. And Linda said she often had to reassure him that she liked his stomach. You here about Johns body image struggles but I think Paul is a bit more quiet about his own issues

(CW: eating disorders)

Ive definitely heard a story about Paul being insecure about his stomach and his weight (c. 1969-70?) and Linda comforting him over it - I dont think ive ever seen evidence or a source for it though, so I dont know if its true or where it comes from? But I do get that sense about him too, in that he’s more rattled with insecurity (possibly about his physical appearance) then he’ll let on (whereas Johns the type who’ll often tell you upfront: “yes i despise everything about me. yes i think im the second coming of christ. yes we exist.”)

putting the rest of this post bellow the cut just because idk

Ill quickly note though that the difference with John is that theres a lot of evidence to suggest he was struggling with an actual eating disorder (EDNOS, to be specific) and I made some posts on it awhile ago (x) (x) (second one is less structured but the evidence is certainly stronger imo) - so if thats a topic that interests you, id suggest giving them a read!

Whereas with Paul, he might be insecure over his weight, but it’s not the same (as in, there isn’t any evidence - that im aware of - to suggest his eating habits have ever been symptomatic of an ED - although ill note that I don’t want to generalise ED’s as being a purely physical thing, since they are mental illnesses). I know you weren’t saying they were equally insecure over their weight or anything anon, just that Pauls issues could be under discussed by fans, and lesser discussed by Paul himself - I just wanted to point out the difference though in case anyone might be misguided here :)

And I think as well, there is something to be said about Paul being situated as this wholly confident guy (and John being wholly insecure) when theres interviews and extracts that strongly suggest otherwise. And largely that image is just constructed by Paul himself - because whether purposefully or not, he certainly comes off as confident and extroverted in most interviews. But at the same time, as Caitlin Moran says in the extract ive posted bellow, theres suggestions here and there, of a subtextual insecurity.

This is from an interview between Paul McCartney and Caitlin Moran, c. 2011 (i think?) and featured in the book Moranthology:

Paul then goes on to tell three stories that suggest - in marked contrast to the disconcerting, alpha…vibe he emits - that he is still insecure after all these years.

The first about how he only announces the first two dates of any tour, ‘to see how they sell,’ so that - when they sell out in six minutes…he can sigh and say, ‘Well, people do still want to see me, after all’…

The second is how he’s only recently started playing a lot of lead guitar, ‘Because the first time we ever played - pre-Beatles - I totally screwed up on the first night…’ I totally blew it - the nerves got the better of me. So I never played lead guitar again.’

‘Its taken you this long to get your nerve back?’ I ask incredulously. ‘Yeah,’ he replies…‘when The Beatles did Wembley for the first time, I remember sitting on the town hall feeling physically sick. I thought, “Ive got to give this up.”’ (pg. 317-18)

Theres nothing about insecurity pertaining to weight in that extract (so whoops on getting off track here) but it was just one that stood out to me recently, and so I wanted to post it - and additionally, I think we can infer something about the way in which Pauls insecurities might manifest in the language he uses.

[toumakibangs]

Oh when I woke up tonight I said I've gotta make somebody love me (and now I know that is you, you're lucky lucky)

SERVICE NOTE: Here we are with the last prompts of the TouMaki Month! I’m so very sorry for the delay, but I went long with writing because of work issues and after that I’ve been without internet for a while (still am, technically)! If you’re reading this, it means that he last fics have been queued and they’re being uploaded as we speak: a post every two hours, from 3pm to 5am, CEST time. My advice is to check the blog if you don’t want to miss any, because if you’re going to browse the tags (‘toumaki month 2018’ and ‘toumaki’), Tumblr will only show you three posts per blog.

Anyway, at 7am CEST time we’ll upload a recap post featuring ALL the entries to the Month, so you can browse them more easily (I’m also saving the final Goodbyes and Thank You-s for then).

My apologies again for the wobbly schedule and I hope you’ll enjoy these last fireworks!

Prompt: “Things you said on the phone at 4am”

Jules’ Notes: Did somebody say ‘Paradise Kiss’? Not an AU, but whenever I think about Makishima’s life in London I feel influenced by that manga. So, if you’re familiar with it, you might recognize a certain situation… but I’m positive it will end differently for Maki-chan! ;)

Toudou’s phone blasts off in the middle of the night, and it’s only halfway through the fifth ring that Toudou sees it’s freakin’ 4am in the morning. Right after that, Hana, for the adjacent room, proceeds to remind him just how late 4am in the morning is for the average person. Caught between sleep and the literal wake-up-call, he has barely the time to mentally chastise himself for always forgetting to put his phone on vibration mode before he sees the caller’s ID. It’s Makishima. Who is the reason Toudou always forgets to put his phone on vibration mode. They have an hard enough time just trying to keep in touch, lately, it would be absolutely unthinkable, in Toudou’s list of values, to miss a call from Makishima or let a text or a mail unattended. Even if Makishima never calls after 9.30pm (Tokyo time), not to disrupt Toudou’s sleeping schedule. And even if he insisted Toudou didn’t have to reply to his messages right away, that was the whole point of leaving them, to give Toudou the chance to answer when he was more comfortable.

But Makishima is clearly calling him right now, in the middle of the night, and the ringtone has been going on for so long that it can’t be a mistake. Why would he do that, if not for a huge emergency?! If not for something very serious!? Like, an accident, or breaking up with Toudou over this long-distance-relationship that is clearly more effort than it’s worth?!

Hana solicits him again (this time by slamming her platforms towards the wall they share, by the sound of it) and Toudou answers the call out of reflex. The picture of Makishima that is associated to his contact switches to the black screen, but Toudou’s ears fill with a well-known, much beloved, totally missed voice.

- Jinpachi!!!

It’s not, Toudou notices, the tone of voice of someone that is going to announce a tragedy, but he kind of feels too drowsy, still, to trust his own judgement.

- M-Maki-chan..?

- I’ve sold it, Jinpachi, I’ve done it! I’m sorry, I know it’s late as fuck back home but I had to tell you!!! I’ve sold it!

Even half-asleep, he doesn’t miss the affectionate way Makishima addressed Japan and called it home. A few months ago, he wouldn’t have. It puts a smile on Toudou’s lips and calms his racing heart more than the rest of Makishima’s words. That, so far, still hold too little meaning for him to make something of them.

- …w-what are you talking about?

- My dress, Jinpachi! One of the pieces I’ve left at some boutiques! It has been sold!

It’s something they’ve been talking about, recently: Makishima still helps his brother with his brand but lately, with the complicity of a few classmates, he has started developing his own side-brand, and Ren encouraged him to put a label on his creations and try to propose them to some few, selected underground shops among his own. So far, the experiment hadn’t given much results. Although it was to be expected, since unique pieces were more difficult to place than mass-produced ones that could be made available in every size, it still was a little disheartening for a wannabe designer to hear, day after day, that nobody wanted your stuff. Until today. When, apparently, right before closing time someone had walked into an indie store looking for Ren’s Design novelties and purchased a whole outfit labelled Spider’s Web.

Makishima’s first sale as an independent designer.

- That’s AMAZING! Oh my god Maki-chan I’m so happy!!! Are you happy?!

He hears a loud chuckle at the other end of the phone, along with the clinking of glasses and a whooping noise that sounds too much like Ren partying on his own in their tiny kitchen.

- K’ha! Of course I’m happy! It’s a real sale, Jinpachi! I mean, in a real shop! Somebody walked in, tried my dress and liked it so much that they decided to buy it! And they picked the accessorizes too! I mean, isn’t it amazing!?

What’s amazing, in Toudou’s opinion, is his boyfriend’s absolute marvel at a gesture that is at the very base of his dream profession, and he jokes about it lightly.

- Isn’t it what you’ve always worked so hard to achieve, though? People buying your stuff?

- Yeah, but you don’t understand: I’ve sewn things for Ren that have been sold, I’ve even suggested him some designs that he’s managed to turn into something desirable, but people never really liked my clothes enough to buy them! I mean, this is real!  They’ve given me the money they made from the sale! I am currently drinking the fruits of my labour!

Toudou would like to hug and kiss him senseless. To congratulate and celebrate him, of course, but mostly because right now Makishima is too adorable for words.

- Drink them to the last drop, then, tiger. You’ve earned it.

- I did. I mean, I really did. It’s unbelievable.

There’s a pause, and Toudou hears him gulp down something, most probably expensive beer, if he knows him and Ren. Then there is a sigh, and when he resumes speaking Makishima sounds more sober than earlier.

- What if it’s real, Jinpachi? What if this is the real thing?

The subtext is clear: what if it turns out this is not a scam, and all my efforts pay off, and my future starts to take a definite direction, and it’s a route that doesn’t involve Japan, at least not in the short term? What if I make it, and my dreams come true? What happens to the rest?

Toudou exhales loudly, failing to hide a chuckle. Because despite the untold questions, he can’t help but feel enthusiastic at his boyfriend’s success.

- This is the real thing, Yuu. Which means that you were right all along, and that you don’t have to stop now, but work harder than ever. Strike while the iron is hot, or what is it than they say in London: go get your rightful place among all the professionals that populate those streets!

- …you make it sound so easy.

- I know what you’re capable of, and I believe in you. I’m proud of you: congratulations on your sale.

He hears Makishima swallow.

- I… I wanted to tell you right away. As soon as I knew it. T-They called me and the only thing I thought about beside my own exhilaration was ‘I have to tell Jinpachi’.

Toudou sniffs, and dries his eyes with the back of his hand.

- T-Thank you. I’m very h-happy to hear that.

- …I love you?

Makishima never says the words first. He always reciprocates them wholeheartedly, but he doesn’t say them first, usually.

- I love you too. I… I wished I was there to celebrate with you.

There’s a pause and Toudou knows Makishima is worrying his bottom lip and pinching the bridge of his nose.

- M-Me too, Jinpachi. Honestly.

They don’t say anything for a while, merely breathing into the phone and listening to each other. Toudou puts his own device on the pillow and lays down himself: like this, if he keeps his eyes closed, it almost feels like they’re beside each other.

- …sorry for waking you up? I mean, what time is it on your side, 4 am?

- Twenty past four, right this instant.

- Go to sleep, Jinpachi.

Toudou yawns.

- Talk me into it: what are you having for dinner? Going out to celebrate?

- K’ha! No, not at all: we’ve ordered take out, I’ve been craving spring rolls for a while. And Ren keeps handing me beer that I swear I don’t know where it’s going.

- You’re drinking it, Yuu. I can hear you swallowing and you’ve been doing that for a while.

- You’re lying.

- I’m not and you’re going to get drunk.

- And doesn’t that bother you?

Toudou whines.

- It does, but it’s not like I can stop you from here, can I?! At least I know you’re home and you’re safe.

- I’m not safe, my brother is totally irresponsible.

There’s an indignant exclamation in the background, followed by a thud, and Toudou knows Ren has thrown Makishima a slipper: he chuckles.

- Love that you’re so lively…

The commotion is followed by silence, as if Makishima locked himself into another room.

- Where are you, now?

- Bedroom.

- Me too.

- Yeah, I guessed as much.

- …tell me about the dress you sold.

Makishima knows Toudou doesn’t really care for the details of the outfit, but he does understand that asking Makishima to talk about his work is the easiest way to get to hear his voice for a long period of time. It’s a game that Makishima plays willingly, and he knows he’s going to lose Toudou before he arrives to the description of the matching hat and fake suspenders, but he doesn’t care. The breathing on the other end quiets down and stabilizes at the shoes, but he rattles on in a low reassuring tone and then stays silent, listening to the faint murmurs coming from the other end of the line.

It almost feels like Toudou is sleeping beside him.

He doesn’t hang up for a long time.

[theday]

Those feelings are perfectly valid. It doesn't make you petty just because you still feel this way while some have moved on; people feel and deal with things differently. I don't know how you feel about these feelings of yours, but try not to beat yourself about it. Hopefully he'll apologize if he gets the chance. If he doesn't, I hope these feelings leave eventually.

For the Jae situation (if you’re talking about the song) I think it’s unfortunate that the song he recommended has such problematic lyrics. My stomach was twisting the whole time I was reading them and to know that he thought it was appropriate to recommend it didn’t make that it any better. I try my best not to blindly love bands or idols but a part of me thought that he was going to apologize. It’s been almost a week but I don’t think I’ve seen anything yet. This has me feeling torn at this (1)

point. This might be biased but I suggest having a bit of faith in him perhaps? Based on his personality (from what we can see anyway) I feel like he wouldn’t leave a topic like this untouched on purpose, especially if he knew that my days were upset about it. I understand that it can be unsettling to have one of your favorite people do something that rubs you the wrong way without any closure to disappate those negative feelings. Even if you do continue to feel badly towards him, know that (2)

hi anon!! how are you i didnt really expect anyone to talk about it bc i have v few day6 mutuals but thank you for bringing it up!!! i have talked about this before in an ask i answered on my main blog (thought it doesnt relate to the topic at all so ill just copy and paste what i said) under cut bc this will get long!

as of november 6:

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics… i SURE hope not… idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

 jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm 

okay so that ^ was like 4 days ago and it was answering a question on pet peeves so it didnt really have to do much with jae at all sorry for making u read that the second last paragraph is probably the most relevant whoops anyway

ive already said this but thank you so much for coming to my ask to talk (? though its mostly to reassure) about this with me because on twitter where i follow more mydays, i barely saw anyone talking about it and as i mentioned above it really bothered me :-/ everyone has different ways of responding to it so ill let that slide because there may be people who still want to enjoy day6′s music without having to deal with anythng “problematic” idk i cant speak for those fans who keep quiet about it but this isnt about other mydays its about jae and 

the fact that he’s been active on twitter since the release of the november magazine but has yet to speak about it also bothers me and its not smth i can just brush aside because like you said the lyrics are fucking terrible and has upset at least 2 people??? (which is completely understandable, the lyrics are trash along with the artist but i doubt jae knows about the shit the artist has done) from what i managed to catch on twitter idk about others and i posted a message on fans here because he has said that they do check fans so im hoping he ends up seeing it soon assuming he doesnt know about how the song distresses some mydays (i think most people have stopped @ing him about it at this point) and ill try to keep tweeting him??

i check the jae_day6 tweets and there are barely any tweets about the whole thing which is sad :-( so im just giving him as you said, the benefit of doubt and i believe that once jae finds out he’ll speak about it because jae is still the kind, encouraging person to mydays and i dont want something like this to change my opinion of him although it did eventually since i cant look jae (and pictures of him) the same way :-/ it probably has to do with the fact that i get influenced really easily by what others think?? and this time bc of what i think i ended up reacting negatively/not at all to jae things and i mean it sucks??? but i know that its okay to feel the way i do since we havent gotten any sort of explanation whatsoever 

anon i hope youre doing much better and even if you harbour any negative feelings towards jae too i want you to know that it’s really alright to feel that way like you said!!!! it makes me a feel a bit better that i have done my part to try and get jae to notice the mistake he’s made and i just hope he’ll talk about it eventually because he has so many opportunities to apologize/discuss the matter (vlive, twitter, fans) theres also music access which i will try and tune in to next monday so i can leave a comment (id feel bad for bernard though since hes the main dj)

once again thank you so much for being kind enough to reassure me and im glad it gave you a chance to talk about this too because something like this isnt something i can forget easily and i hope you have a good day because youre really great!!!!! i love you and its amazing that you believe in jae idk i think youre amazing!!!! 

[bespokekitchesldn]

Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror

This one will be a relatively short post, because it’s only about a mirror. But as far as mirrors go, it’s pretty damn big! Check out the newest hallway addition:

I bought this square peacock mirror a while ago on sale at Homegoods — $89, I think? For months years, I’ve planned on putting it in the dining room (?), in the living room (?), and other places. But I could never seem to pull the trigger. I kept thinking and re-thinking its placement.

That is, until this weekend, when I finally decided it’s best to be completely oversized in the hallway between the front door and the kitchen. Given its size (over 30 inches), it doesn’t seem like it should go here, and yet, it works!

Whoops… forgot to clean off the mirror… knew I forgot something!

I tend to do this with big statement pieces. I bought it not long after “peacock” and “honeycomb” mirrors were big trend (for years, they seemed to be everywhere — Restoration Hardware, Pier One, Ballard Designs, Pottery Barn, etc.). It happened to be a trend that I actually really liked, even though I sometimes hate it when I think something is a little too popular. Here is a great example of one in a home that was styled really well, and this one too.

photo: Young House Love

Similar mirrors

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But, I do like ornate mirrors (and things with a touch of Moroccan influence). Even though I thought this particular trend looked amazing in all of the blog posts I was seeing using them, I knew that in time, my overexposure to one that looked exactly like all of the ones I’d been seeing would probably make me not like it as much (when you’re a DIY/design blogger, you tend to gobble up trends like you’re on a fad diet through the sheer amount of posts you read on a regular basis, which gives you design fatigue after a while). I spotted this one, which matched well with both the parts that I liked about the trend and the fact that it was just different enough to be something I hadn’t seen yet — score!

With all of the arguments not to buy in my head, it was one of those “it’s heavily discounted, I really like it, I’ll probably regret not buying it more, and if I grow out of it, I can always sell it” justification situations, and I found myself taking it home. Does Homegoods have some kind of special oxygen pumping into their store, like casinos? It’s a Homegoods conspiracy.

Then, I kept moving it from room to room, because I kept changing my mind — never hanging it.

Sometimes, all you need to finally do something is to run out of excuses not to do it right now. I was basically trying to give myself the choice to either finally find somewhere to put it, or accept defeat and sell it to some adultier adult who might actually hang it on the wall. And wouldn’t you know it? Procrastination had finally run its course. The choice became crystal clear.

I took a few monkey hooks, measured out the wall, and popped the mirror in place (seriously, if this description sounds at all like you, get yourself some of these things… these are the exact hooks you need that will remove that last I-dont-have-the-right-screw excuse — and here is a post on how to use ’em, how to determine placement on the wall, etc.). Now that I’m walking past it every day instead of stashing it in a corner to hang “later,” it feels new again!

I’m probably the queen of procrastination, but I’m curious to see how many of you guys have done something similar with decor. What’s the longest you’ve ever held onto something before finally putting/hanging it in your house?

The post Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

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from The Ugly Duckling House http://www.uglyducklinghouse.com/hallway-update-square-peacock-mirror/

[garagedoorsbrighton]

Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror

This one will be a relatively short post, because it’s only about a mirror. But as far as mirrors go, it’s pretty damn big! Check out the newest hallway addition:

I bought this square peacock mirror a while ago on sale at Homegoods — $89, I think? For months years, I’ve planned on putting it in the dining room (?), in the living room (?), and other places. But I could never seem to pull the trigger. I kept thinking and re-thinking its placement.

That is, until this weekend, when I finally decided it’s best to be completely oversized in the hallway between the front door and the kitchen. Given its size (over 30 inches), it doesn’t seem like it should go here, and yet, it works!

Whoops… forgot to clean off the mirror… knew I forgot something!

I tend to do this with big statement pieces. I bought it not long after “peacock” and “honeycomb” mirrors were big trend (for years, they seemed to be everywhere — Restoration Hardware, Pier One, Ballard Designs, Pottery Barn, etc.). It happened to be a trend that I actually really liked, even though I sometimes hate it when I think something is a little too popular. Here is a great example of one in a home that was styled really well, and this one too.

photo: Young House Love

Similar mirrors

*this post contains affiliate links*

!function(d,s,id){ var e, p = /^http:/.test(d.location) ? 'http' : 'https'; if(!d.getElementById(id)) { e = d.createElement(s); e.id = id; e.src = p + '://widgets.rewardstyle.com/js/shopthepost.js'; d.body.appendChild(e); } if(typeof window.__stp === 'object') if(d.readyState === 'complete') { window.__stp.init(); } }(document, 'script', 'shopthepost-script');

Turn on your JavaScript to view content

(if you can’t see the widget above, you might have to click over to the actual post on the blog)

But, I do like ornate mirrors (and things with a touch of Moroccan influence). Even though I thought this particular trend looked amazing in all of the blog posts I was seeing using them, I knew that in time, my overexposure to one that looked exactly like all of the ones I’d been seeing would probably make me not like it as much (when you’re a DIY/design blogger, you tend to gobble up trends like you’re on a fad diet through the sheer amount of posts you read on a regular basis, which gives you design fatigue after a while). I spotted this one, which matched well with both the parts that I liked about the trend and the fact that it was just different enough to be something I hadn’t seen yet — score!

With all of the arguments not to buy in my head, it was one of those “it’s heavily discounted, I really like it, I’ll probably regret not buying it more, and if I grow out of it, I can always sell it” justification situations, and I found myself taking it home. Does Homegoods have some kind of special oxygen pumping into their store, like casinos? It’s a Homegoods conspiracy.

Then, I kept moving it from room to room, because I kept changing my mind — never hanging it.

Sometimes, all you need to finally do something is to run out of excuses not to do it right now. I was basically trying to give myself the choice to either finally find somewhere to put it, or accept defeat and sell it to some adultier adult who might actually hang it on the wall. And wouldn’t you know it? Procrastination had finally run its course. The choice became crystal clear.

I took a few monkey hooks, measured out the wall, and popped the mirror in place (seriously, if this description sounds at all like you, get yourself some of these things… these are the exact hooks you need that will remove that last I-dont-have-the-right-screw excuse — and here is a post on how to use ’em, how to determine placement on the wall, etc.). Now that I’m walking past it every day instead of stashing it in a corner to hang “later,” it feels new again!

I’m probably the queen of procrastination, but I’m curious to see how many of you guys have done something similar with decor. What’s the longest you’ve ever held onto something before finally putting/hanging it in your house?

The post Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

Website // Subscribe // Advertise // Twitter // Facebook // Google+

from The Ugly Duckling House http://www.uglyducklinghouse.com/hallway-update-square-peacock-mirror/

[gerards-parasite-blog]

BREAKING POINT

ok hi. This is a story I wrote in LA class and why not post it? It’s from the perspectives ( It will say the characters name, and that’s when the perspective changes) of the three main characters, Azayliah, Zander and Ariah. So um yeah I hope you like it!

Azayliah

I was spinning out of control. My damp palms were slipping off the handlebars. I could feel the motorcycle tipping out of control. I could see the water below me. I watched it climbed up the side of the cliff, it's foamy white reaching out to grab me and pull me back down with it. Azzy! Look out! My sister. Azzy! Azzy! AZYY!

“ AZZY!”

I was pulled up from the depth of my troubled sleep. The sun sent its death rays through my cracked and grimy window. Curled up in the corner of my filthy mattress, threadbare blanket long ago discarded, I signed away from the light, my eyes streaming with pain.

“Azzy!   You need to get your butt in the car, we need to leave! I’ve had the truck packed a certain way so don’t shift anything! NOW MOVE!!” I realised that this normally gentle ( Now not so) voice belonged to my sister Ariah. Weird, she was never harsh.

“ Ariah what the hell! It’s-” I grabbed my phone from the floor “ 5:30. And you can say ass you know. There’s no law against it, and you’re 16, so man up.” I sat up, grudgingly rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“AZAYLIAH!”

That grabbed my attention. My sister never used my full name unless,

“ No.No.No.No.No.NO.NO.NO.NO.NO.NO. They can’t be here.” I stared into my sisters hazel eyes, wishing she was lying. Hoping this was a prank.

“ Zanders in the car you have 5 minutes. Mom and Dad are coming home early.”

I scrambled around my musty miniscule room, emptying the contents my giant black backpack onto my bed, then throwing whatever I thought I would need inside: clothes, picture stack, money, food stash, the only photo I had of my family. My parents together and happy. My parents together and sober. I rushed into the bathroom, just barely taking time to glance in the shattered mirror before grabbing every stick of deodorant in sight, back to bedroom, toothbrush, makeup. I was forgetting something. Shoot what was it! Hair Ties! Yes! Wait no, I had those! What was it?? I had charging cables, underwear. Ughhh.  OH GOD. I pelted back into my room and grabbed my biking helmet. Just touching the black plastic made me stop in my tracks. I remembered how I’d won this. It was in a motorcycle gang race, my first. But definitely not my last. I had beat everyone. It was like my acceptance letter, everyone in the serpents had signed it. There was their logo on the side. Pink Lemonade. I was one of them; I had their backs and they had mine. A 14 year old? They'd laughed when I asked to try, they weren’t laughing when I beat them all. I was leaving them behind. But they’d understand, this was life of death, the PL were familiar with life or death situations, I’d come back. Now if I didn’t go I would actually be dead. No shit sherlock I thought to myself as I finished zipping up my bag. Goodbye hell. Hello freedom.

Zander

Ariah was back outside and in the passenger seat in a number of seconds, her sandy blond hair combed into a perfect bun at the top of her head, her eyebrows morphed together in concentration as she began mapping our way on the dashboard, which had all the folded up road maps we could afford.

“ ARIAH DO WE HAVE ALL THE MONEY???” I peppered at her, I was a nervous wreck, my body trembled in the seat.

“ Yes.”

“ DO WE HAVE OUR LICENSES AND ID??”

“Yes they’re in the glove box, I also have chargers and snacks in there, I packed them while you got the bags ready.” She responded, not lifting her eyes. “ I also made sure we took all the car keys, and broke the tracker you put on the side of the car, I don’t want mom and dad finding us.” Still no eye contact.

“ Ok good. GOD.” That at least semi relaxed the knot in my stomach “Jesus, for a 16 year old you seem 20.” I leaned over and squeezed her

“ It’s ok Zander, we’re going to make it out of this. And for a 19 year old, you seem 2, which is just fine with me.” She mumbled into my shoulder.

God what did I do to deserve such an awesome sister. I thought to myself.

“ Where’s Azzy?” I asked, taking a chug of cold coffee.

“ Remind me why we decided to let her sleep in?” She joked. I couldn’t help but laugh at her rare outbreak of humor.

But my laughter was cut short as I saw the red van turn around the corner, its tires skidding back and forth on the road. Our parents were here. They said they’d be back in a week, giving us all the time we needed to prepare and get out of the house. When I got a text from my buddy Matt, saying he’d seen their van whilst driving on the highway, I’d flipped out. They said they’d been coming back next week. APPARENTLY NEXT WEEK IS NOW THIS MORNING APPARENTLY. If they found us in the house, they’d put us in child care, and none of us three wanted that. Less freedom than we already had.

“ AZAYLIAH, GET OUTSIDE NOW!” The knot was back. We had to leave now if we wanted any chance of getting away

“ WAIT!” I heard her strained voice say

“ AZZY GET IN THE CAR!” I hollered out the car window, as she finally staggered out the door. God why was she so slow!!

“ AZZY! CAR! NOW!” no response

“ AZZY!” Ariah was yelling too, tears now streaming down her face. I could only imagine what she was thinking, but I knew it was probably very similar to my own thoughts.

“ I’M HERE GOD DAMN IT! THE CORD HOLDING ALL YOU SHIT IN THE BACK WAS BROKEN, IF I DIDN’T FIX IT YOU’D BE RUNNING OVER EVERYTHING WHEN YOU BACKED OUT! SO YOUR EFFING WELCOME!” She shot back.

“ YOU TOOK A MELENIA NOW GET IN!!!!” pushed her through the window that she was currently shimmying through, I still hadn’t gotten around to fixing that door. Oh well.

“ Zander, I can build a droid in under 10 minutes, yet you lack the brain cells to fix this goddamn door, it was your ginormous bag getting in the was so don’t you dare say I took long.” She glared at me, smacking me on the head with that ridiculous helmet.

“ Are you actually bringing that?” Ariah asked, wiping at her eyes.

“ Yes, now, I thought we were escaping from parents that WILL kill us. I don’t know about you but I’ve been beat enough times that I’m more than ready to get out of this hell hole.” Azzy began braiding her platinum blue hair, I knew that was a sign that we needed to move, or we had a panic attack on our hands, and I knew neither Ariah or I were up to dealing with that.

Araih

“ Zander, they’re here.” I felt myself deflating, we were done for.

The red van screeched to a halt at the bottom of the driveway, blocking our escape. And there they were. My father, shirtless and scruffy, he needed to shave, and then my mother came staggering out of the van, not even attempting to conceal the bottle of vodka in her hand. They were both drunk, high stoned i couldn’t even tell at this point. They’d fallen so far down the rabbit hole that there was no way they could come back. My father. He was in front of the car now. Banging on the hood, screaming indecipherable insults, I turned around to cover Azzys ears, but she was already doing that, curled up in the back, this was the rare times I saw her this scared, I hated seeing her like this, so I pulled her upfront to sit with me. I gripped her with all my strength trying to drain the fright out of her quivering frame. I turned over to Zander. We both knew what this meant. This was the end of the road. Our mother was there now, leering at our cowardice, get out of the car she said, or she’ll burn it. Huh, never heard that one before.

“Zander get out of the seat.”

We both looked at the lump in my lap, Azzy was staring stone cold at our brother. We both knew what this meant.

“ No you are not driving.” I said to her, gripping her even tighter “ Zander stop her!”

He looked at me, then to Azzy, then outside.

“ Get us out of here Azaylia.” He said, a wicked grin breaking out all over his face

“ Hell yes!” She high fived him as he clambered into the back.

“ZANDER SHE’S 14!” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, normally Zander didn’t let Azzy even touch the wheel.

“ Ariah, this is our last time to do something before we’re put in foster care or some bullcrap like that. If we’re going to go out, we might as well do it in style.” He smiled to me, his expression dappered.

“ Azayliah, if you hurt anyone I’m going to stab you with a broken shard of the window, so you better watch your ass and be careful, but let's go.”

Azayliah

No way. My sister was letting me do this. I stretched over and pulled her into a bear hug. I had this all mapped out. I wanted to make as much damage as possible, rage and excitement were clouding my vision. I started to back up, letting my parents get even more mad, my father stated towards the car. And that's when I started.

“ AZZY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING??????” Ariah was wailing in my ear.

Zander was in the back whooping like his favorite soccer team had just won the world cup. I had reversed so I was almost touching the van, before I revved the engines and bolted forward, taking a sharp right turn onto the lawn, ruining it past fixing point. That's for every time you beat us. Just barely hitting my parents, That’s for every time you yelled at us. I hit the gas. That’s for never being a parent to us, when we needed you most, now look who’s alone. And we were off. There was hair in my face and tears in my eyes, but we had done it, we were free, on the road. Freedom.

“ WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” We were all crying all laughing. Free. That's a new word. But we were together. And that's what mattered most. Screw the cops, we could do anything now. We had eachother. Love was our strongest bond. We were there for eachother. Forever and always. That was a quote we later painted on the roof of the car.

“ I love you guys.”

[jaxsilver]

Gender, Drag, Dysphoria and Contentment?

hurhur i wrote a song called contentment once, it was fucking terrible. So here’s the deal. Gender doesn’t exist. This is all purely based on my own beliefs, experiences and being in my own head, so consider that before you rip my fucking ass into shreds for anything you’re about to read. I don’t believe gender exists, atleast not in the way we know it. There is no boy, girl, fluid, non binary etc. It’s all just a label, a category someone came up with. But how the fuck are you supposed to feel when none of that really fits? For absolutely years I tried to figure out what gender label I felt most comfortable with, in recent times i settled for non binary as it was the biggest grey umbrella I could hide under. UNTIL… (que dramatic dundundun) one night, when i smoked some really dank weed, i realised something that would blow my goddamn mind. GENDER DOESN’T EXIST. but then what does? AHA, this is where the stoner mind kicks. What does exist is femininity, masculinity and androgyny, everyone is just a different mix of those. Keep the whole gender thing in mind, we’ll get back to it in a jiffy. Pronouns however are a completely different story, they are only something to refer to people as just as if it was their name except not because its kinda creepy to just repeat someones name 10 times a sentence yknow? A persons pronouns should still be fucking respected and if anyone ever misgenders you on purpose just burst into tears and make them feel like they’ve murdered your first born. Personally i still choose to go by they/them and he/him because thats what makes me feel comfortable in my own body, some people might not get that because yeah i was born into a ‘female’ body but if you don’t get it sucks to be you, respect a persons identity and pronoun choice or bin yaself you useless paperclip. Now drag. Like every other bitch under the age of 30 who’s taken a pritt stick to their eyebrows, (or in desperate day before payday broke ass times, hair wax) (don’t do it) (it doesn’t dry) I’ve watched an episode or two (or like 9 seasons worth) of Rupauls drag race. When i first fell in love with drag i was 13 and still functioning as “girl”. The people i was friends with saw drag as a man dressing up as a woman which like no you’re wrong. Drag to me is art, makeup is your medium and your face is your canvas. Yeah drag is about looking feminine but who says you can only do drag if you’ve gotta duct tape a dick to your ass?! Recently i’ve decided to start doing drag and being a drag queen, something i was told i couldn’t do at 13 because i was “already a girl”. WELL WHOOP DE FUCKING DO WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT HERE I AM DOING WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY AND THERE YOU ARE POSTING OUTDATED DONALD TRUMP MEMES. I’m still a tad salty about it so moving on. Shoutout to Adore Delano and Sharon Needles who were the first queens i ever saw make the dirty punk, grunge, emo look fucking incredible and beautiful. (also all my mates that badgered me to start drag, u da best). Remember how i told you to hold on to that gender concept? time to bring it back. As i said earlier, it took years for me to find a way to be comfortable with the idea of gender. If nothing you’ve read so far makes you understand that drag shouldn’t be limited to one type of person consider this. Until drag the sheer idea of femininity made me fucking cringe and crave death. no like seriously, you ever look in the mirror and realise you can’t wear your favourite expensive as fuck jeans anymore because they give you a waist which gives you a feminine shape and you just can’t be fucking arsed to hear ‘she’ all day anymore? it kinda sucks. drag is my outlet. it allows me to be feminine but on my own terms. i call my drag persona my hotter and more talented little sister. i’ve always loved the frances bean cobain grunge look with the long hair and makeup but to look like that as myself was just really fucking uncomfortable. but drag? no, not in drag. Lux Vicious is a character i created and use my self to portray and goddamn she’s fucking cool. don’t get me wrong, it didn’t suddenly stop body dysphoria, it was only an hour ago i was standing in front of the mirror being sad about the lack of bone structure in my face and not having a flat chest but that’ll never stop. but i can wear those jeans now and not feel as shitty about myself, because i still know that the things that aren’t out of my control (like my body shape) are all masculine and androgynous bc thats who i am. the tiny percentage of femininity i harbour comes out only during drag, but it finally has its own outlet and i feel a touch more comfortable in myself. there was probably a lot more i wanted to say but i thought of the majority of it in the shower and by the time id rinsed off id forgotten like 87% of it so keep your peepers peeled for a two point oh. the moral of this story is if it fucking makes you happy and feel good about yourself fuck everyone who negates it and doesn’t agree with it. its your fucking life and as long as you’re not killing people or sprinkling cancer into the water pipes, you’re golden.

p.s. this is not my usual style of writing due to me being high as a fucking kite on allergy medication because hay fever and i aren’t on the same page at the moment.

[petraself]

Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror

This one will be a relatively short post, because it’s only about a mirror. But as far as mirrors go, it’s pretty damn big! Check out the newest hallway addition:

I bought this square peacock mirror a while ago on sale at Homegoods — $89, I think? For months years, I’ve planned on putting it in the dining room (?), in the living room (?), and other places. But I could never seem to pull the trigger. I kept thinking and re-thinking its placement.

That is, until this weekend, when I finally decided it’s best to be completely oversized in the hallway between the front door and the kitchen. Given its size (over 30 inches), it doesn’t seem like it should go here, and yet, it works!

Whoops… forgot to clean off the mirror… knew I forgot something!

I tend to do this with big statement pieces. I bought it not long after “peacock” and “honeycomb” mirrors were big trend (for years, they seemed to be everywhere — Restoration Hardware, Pier One, Ballard Designs, Pottery Barn, etc.). It happened to be a trend that I actually really liked, even though I sometimes hate it when I think something is a little too popular. Here is a great example of one in a home that was styled really well, and this one too.

photo: Young House Love

Similar mirrors

*this post contains affiliate links*

!function(d,s,id){ var e, p = /^http:/.test(d.location) ? 'http' : 'https'; if(!d.getElementById(id)) { e = d.createElement(s); e.id = id; e.src = p + '://widgets.rewardstyle.com/js/shopthepost.js'; d.body.appendChild(e); } if(typeof window.__stp === 'object') if(d.readyState === 'complete') { window.__stp.init(); } }(document, 'script', 'shopthepost-script');

Turn on your JavaScript to view content

(if you can’t see the widget above, you might have to click over to the actual post on the blog)

But, I do like ornate mirrors (and things with a touch of Moroccan influence). Even though I thought this particular trend looked amazing in all of the blog posts I was seeing using them, I knew that in time, my overexposure to one that looked exactly like all of the ones I’d been seeing would probably make me not like it as much (when you’re a DIY/design blogger, you tend to gobble up trends like you’re on a fad diet through the sheer amount of posts you read on a regular basis, which gives you design fatigue after a while). I spotted this one, which matched well with both the parts that I liked about the trend and the fact that it was just different enough to be something I hadn’t seen yet — score!

With all of the arguments not to buy in my head, it was one of those “it’s heavily discounted, I really like it, I’ll probably regret not buying it more, and if I grow out of it, I can always sell it” justification situations, and I found myself taking it home. Does Homegoods have some kind of special oxygen pumping into their store, like casinos? It’s a Homegoods conspiracy.

Then, I kept moving it from room to room, because I kept changing my mind — never hanging it.

Sometimes, all you need to finally do something is to run out of excuses not to do it right now. I was basically trying to give myself the choice to either finally find somewhere to put it, or accept defeat and sell it to some adultier adult who might actually hang it on the wall. And wouldn’t you know it? Procrastination had finally run its course. The choice became crystal clear.

I took a few monkey hooks, measured out the wall, and popped the mirror in place (seriously, if this description sounds at all like you, get yourself some of these things… these are the exact hooks you need that will remove that last I-dont-have-the-right-screw excuse — and here is a post on how to use ’em, how to determine placement on the wall, etc.). Now that I’m walking past it every day instead of stashing it in a corner to hang “later,” it feels new again!

I’m probably the queen of procrastination, but I’m curious to see how many of you guys have done something similar with decor. What’s the longest you’ve ever held onto something before finally putting/hanging it in your house?

The post Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

Website // Subscribe // Advertise // Twitter // Facebook // Google+

Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror published first on http://ift.tt/1kI9W8s

[noambouzaglou-blog]

Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror

This one will be a relatively short post, because it’s only about a mirror. But as far as mirrors go, it’s pretty damn big! Check out the newest hallway addition:

I bought this square peacock mirror a while ago on sale at Homegoods — $89, I think? For months years, I’ve planned on putting it in the dining room (?), in the living room (?), and other places. But I could never seem to pull the trigger. I kept thinking and re-thinking its placement.

That is, until this weekend, when I finally decided it’s best to be completely oversized in the hallway between the front door and the kitchen. Given its size (over 30 inches), it doesn’t seem like it should go here, and yet, it works!

Whoops… forgot to clean off the mirror… knew I forgot something!

I tend to do this with big statement pieces. I bought it not long after “peacock” and “honeycomb” mirrors were big trend (for years, they seemed to be everywhere — Restoration Hardware, Pier One, Ballard Designs, Pottery Barn, etc.). It happened to be a trend that I actually really liked, even though I sometimes hate it when I think something is a little too popular. Here is a great example of one in a home that was styled really well, andthis one too.

photo: Young House Love

Similar mirrors

*this post contains affiliate links*

!function(d,s,id){ var e, p = /^http:/.test(d.location) ? 'http' : 'https'; if(!d.getElementById(id)) { e = d.createElement(s); e.id = id; e.src = p + '://widgets.rewardstyle.com/js/shopthepost.js'; d.body.appendChild(e); } if(typeof window.__stp === 'object') if(d.readyState === 'complete') { window.__stp.init(); } }(document, 'script', 'shopthepost-script');

Turn on your JavaScript to view content

(if you can’t see the widget above, you might have to click over to the actual post on the blog)

But, I do like ornate mirrors (and things with a touch of Moroccan influence). Even though I thought this particular trend looked amazing in all of the blog posts I was seeing using them, I knew that in time, my overexposure to one that looked exactly like all of the ones I’d been seeing would probably make me not like it as much (when you’re a DIY/design blogger, you tend to gobble up trends like you’re on a fad diet through the sheer amount of posts you read on a regular basis, which gives you design fatigue after a while). I spotted this one, which matched well with both the parts that I liked about the trend and the fact that it was just different enough to be something I hadn’t seen yet — score!

With all of the arguments not to buy in my head, it was one of those “it’s heavily discounted, I really like it, I’ll probably regret not buying it more, and if I grow out of it, I can always sell it” justification situations, and I found myself taking it home. Does Homegoods have some kind of special oxygen pumping into their store, like casinos? It’s a Homegoods conspiracy.

Then, I kept moving it from room to room, because I kept changing my mind — never hanging it.

Sometimes, all you need to finally do something is to run out of excuses not to do it right now. I was basically trying to give myself the choice to either finally find somewhere to put it, or accept defeat and sell it to some adultier adult who might actually hang it on the wall. And wouldn’t you know it? Procrastination had finally run its course. The choice became crystal clear.

I took a few monkey hooks, measured out the wall, and popped the mirror in place (seriously, if this description sounds at all like you, get yourself some of these things… these are the exact hooks you need that will remove that last I-dont-have-the-right-screw excuse — and here is a post on how to use ’em, how to determine placement on the wall, etc.). Now that I’m walking past it every day instead of stashing it in a corner to hang “later,” it feels new again!

I’m probably the queen of procrastination, but I’m curious to see how many of you guys have done something similar with decor. What’s the longest you’ve ever held onto something before finally putting/hanging it in your house?

The post Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

Website // Subscribe // Advertise // Twitter // Facebook // Google+

Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror published first on https://noambouzaglou.wordpress.com/

[noambouzaglou-blog]

Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror

This one will be a relatively short post, because it’s only about a mirror. But as far as mirrors go, it’s pretty damn big! Check out the newest hallway addition:

I bought this square peacock mirror a while ago on sale at Homegoods — $89, I think? For months years, I’ve planned on putting it in the dining room (?), in the living room (?), and other places. But I could never seem to pull the trigger. I kept thinking and re-thinking its placement.

That is, until this weekend, when I finally decided it’s best to be completely oversized in the hallway between the front door and the kitchen. Given its size (over 30 inches), it doesn’t seem like it should go here, and yet, it works!

Whoops… forgot to clean off the mirror… knew I forgot something!

I tend to do this with big statement pieces. I bought it not long after “peacock” and “honeycomb” mirrors were big trend (for years, they seemed to be everywhere — Restoration Hardware, Pier One, Ballard Designs, Pottery Barn, etc.). It happened to be a trend that I actually really liked, even though I sometimes hate it when I think something is a little too popular. Here is a great example of one in a home that was styled really well, andthis one too.

photo: Young House Love

Similar mirrors

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But, I do like ornate mirrors (and things with a touch of Moroccan influence). Even though I thought this particular trend looked amazing in all of the blog posts I was seeing using them, I knew that in time, my overexposure to one that looked exactly like all of the ones I’d been seeing would probably make me not like it as much (when you’re a DIY/design blogger, you tend to gobble up trends like you’re on a fad diet through the sheer amount of posts you read on a regular basis, which gives you design fatigue after a while). I spotted this one, which matched well with both the parts that I liked about the trend and the fact that it was just different enough to be something I hadn’t seen yet — score!

With all of the arguments not to buy in my head, it was one of those “it’s heavily discounted, I really like it, I’ll probably regret not buying it more, and if I grow out of it, I can always sell it” justification situations, and I found myself taking it home. Does Homegoods have some kind of special oxygen pumping into their store, like casinos? It’s a Homegoods conspiracy.

Then, I kept moving it from room to room, because I kept changing my mind — never hanging it.

Sometimes, all you need to finally do something is to run out of excuses not to do it right now. I was basically trying to give myself the choice to either finally find somewhere to put it, or accept defeat and sell it to some adultier adult who might actually hang it on the wall. And wouldn’t you know it? Procrastination had finally run its course. The choice became crystal clear.

I took a few monkey hooks, measured out the wall, and popped the mirror in place (seriously, if this description sounds at all like you, get yourself some of these things… these are the exact hooks you need that will remove that last I-dont-have-the-right-screw excuse — and here is a post on how to use ’em, how to determine placement on the wall, etc.). Now that I’m walking past it every day instead of stashing it in a corner to hang “later,” it feels new again!

I’m probably the queen of procrastination, but I’m curious to see how many of you guys have done something similar with decor. What’s the longest you’ve ever held onto something before finally putting/hanging it in your house?

The post Hallway Update: One Big-Ass Mirror appeared first on The Ugly Duckling House.

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