#i thought i wouldnt be cold because you would be holding me

[malldatexoxo]

sorry i assumed we would together

[iouinotes]

Beautiful Boy | Alex Walter

pairing: Alex Walter x female!reader

show: My life with the Walter Boys

warnings: mostly fluff and love confessions, but a bit of implied sexual activities

word count: 4,6k

summary: You are completely in love with your best friend. When the chance is given, you decide to finally take it and show your love.

a/n: The story will mention a review from the past, where they play truth or dare. So, I was inspired to write that scenario: match made in heaven is here!

He's everything I ever wished for. It´s silly, thinking about it, really. My ongoing crush for him since the first time I met him all these years ago.

It was during the first day after the winter holiday. It was dark outside, very cold and rainy weather. Well, unfortunately it did not look like that in the morning, so I instantly panicked after school, because I forgot to bring my jacket. Normally one of my friends picked me up after school and drove me home, but she was sick today and I heard about her being ill, last minute.

So now I´m standing in the hallway, debating if I should better start to go to the bus station (probably getting soaked) or if I just walk to the school library, hoping that the weather cools down. I was drowning in my own thoughts, when I first heard his voice.

"Are you okay?" The second my eyes landed on him, I was gone for good. Because the boy in front of me was utterly beautiful. Handsome round face, freckles, warm brown eyes and a shy smile. One look at him and I fell in love with his beauty. Little did I know, I would soon fall head over heals for his personality or the way his voice sounds when he is making fun of me, because I believe in love at first sight. How could I not, when I have met him?

He was very caring the first time we met. Even though I was embarrassed of my situation, he made me feel comfortable. When I told him about my difficulty, he instantly helped me out. He told me, that his brother also picked him up from school every day, so it wouldnt be a problem, if I came along. Not only this sweet gesture made me speechless, it was also the way he stripped out of his jacket and gave it to me without hesitation, when we went outside and he saw that I didnt bring a jacket.

"What? No, I can´t-" I tried to argue, but one blink of his lashes, one look at his eyes, was enough to keep me occupied. "My mom would kill me, if I didnt. It´s okay, I dont mind." He really was the sweetest. His jacket kept in fact, keep me warm. And it also smelled like him, thats what made me blush in the end. I didnt know, if he noticed me looking at him from time to time (but then again, he nowadays didnt noticed it either), but I could not contain myself.

He was a gentleman, shy and adorable. He was all I wished for in a guy. When his brother - who I idetified as the most popular guy of our school- Cole, came in sight, only then it clicked. The boy in front of me, with his nervous smile, was Alex Walter.

When the car parked and the headlights were visible in the rain, we quickly ran to the blue vehicle. His brother didnt talk much, so the car ride was mostly quiet, my eyes were out the window and my thoughts were on Alex previous gesture of holding the door open for me. He didnt intend for me to fall in love with him, but I couldnt think of anything else to do, better than exactly that.

"I didnt get your name?" was all he said, when the car stopped in front of my house. "Oh right, sorry. Im y/n." He smiled again at me and my heart wanted to jump out off my chest. I didnt really notice Cole in the front and his famous "Cole effect". I was all catched up, by the beautiful boy next to me.

"Alex" he shook my hand and it made me giggle. I saw his ears turning pink at my laughter, so I smiled at him, so he knew I wasnt making fun of him. He relaxed then, but much to my dislike the blonde brother spoke up, before I could say something else. "I dont have all day, so are you two done looking at each other or can you go now? I swear, I saw y´all nearly kiss." At that, I was the one who turned red. "Sorry, thanks for the ride and-" as I wanted to strip off the jacket, Alex stopped my movements. "Oh no, you can have it. I mean- it´s still raining outside, I-I dont want you to get sick." Maybe I was already at that exact moment, falling in love with him. I also think, that his words made my cheeks turn a shade of red, that wasnt even on a scala anymore, because it was so high.

"But when do I give it back to you?" The last thing I wanted to do, was crossing a line with the Walter brothers. And maybe I also hoped to see him again. "Tomorrow? I will be in the gaming room in third grade. If thats okay with you?" He spoke quickly, because Cole kept getting more annoyed. "No, its fine. Thank you, Alex." I kissed him on the cheek (dont know where that one came from) and before I could look back, I was already out of the car and running towards the house. When I opened the door and the warmth embraced me, I looked out of the window from my house. The car was already gone, but I remember smiling so bright, I almost could not contain the happy feeling that consumed me.

That was the first time, my diary heard of Alex Walter.

The next day, I searched through three gaming rooms before I finally found him, starring at his laptop. As soon as I tapped him gently on the shoulder, he turned around and looked at me suprised. When he asked me, if I had had any trouble finding him, I said "what no, it took five minutes", when in reality it took 20 minutes, but he sounded really sincere, so it didnt matter.

That was the start of our ever-lasting friendship. We became best friends quickly and are verly close ever since, he is my other half. We are always together, in the hallway, at lunch, we see each other at the weekends and we even got the price "the best of best friends" by our friendgroup. I mean it was funny and its nice, really. But it says everything. We are just friends.

It´s very funny actually, because he knows me better than anyone and I can´t keep one secret from him. He just knows, when something is up. But my biggest secret of all time, that was the part where he was clueless about.

My love for him.

He just doesnt notice and I tried to not show it, but everyone knows I like him. Well, expect for him. When I look at him too long, because I (again) got lost in his eyes or looked a second too long at his lips, while he talked, he thinks he has something on his face. When I compliment him, for literal anything, he thinks I make fun of him, so he doesn't take it seriously. And I tried almost everything, so he could finally notice. Maybe then he could make the first move.

I once talked about my ideal type, because it was a truth or dare on my birthday party and I literally described him - he didnt notice. I swoon on a daily basis over his beauty, his intelligence , his personality, his habits, his cute flaws like staying up all night to play a video game - he doesnt know. I tried to learn his favorite video game, I read the Lord of the Rings saga, I even watched baseball games with him, I do anything so he will notice, how much I care about him. But he just doesn't get it.

If I would know, he simply didnt like me that way, I could somehow cope with that. But then, there are moments, where I would catch him starring at me, where he seems to be the one wanting me. He watches romantic movies with me and lets me cry about it after, when I´m sad about the ending, Sometimes I even get to lay on his chest. He listens when I talk about my newest book obsession, he goes shopping with me, even though he hates it. He helps me studying and I can tell him anything, he´s always there for me.

So it could be, that maybe my feelings were not completely unrequited. But then again, why didnt he made a move by now? Nevertheless, it keeps me awake at night. Because I want nothing more than to kiss his soft lips, feel his skin against mine, to look at his eyes and study every single freckle from his neck to his forehead. I want to love him. In a way, he knows it.

These feelings, these thoughts are constantly in my head. Especially now, when I sit across him and simply look at his concentrated face. His eyebrows are drawn together, he´s currently biting on his bottom lip, his nose scrunched in a frown. The light of his room shows me every little detail of his face. In moments like this, on a friday evening, where we study together for a biology test, I wish he would know how I feel about him. Because it would make everything so much easier.

Its currently raining outside, a remember of our first encounter, the clouds are dark and I hear loud thunder since the last couple of minutes went by. "Do you think, it will get better? The weather clearly looks bad." I shift my gaze to look at him and when I catch him starring at me, my heart swells in my chest.

I want to break the distant between us and close the gap of our lips. Want to get to know every little detail of his body. But as he speaks up, I clear my head. "I dont know, Danny said something about a storm. I honestly didnt know, it would be that bad." He closes his textbook and stands up, looking out the window. ,,Should I go?" My question suprises him. "Now? I think if you take a step outside, you will get swept up by your feet. It´s not safe." He looks at me unwary. "I dont know, I always wanted to fly. Maybe thats a sign." I grin at him and he laughs quietly. "Yeah, of course. Let me ask my dad, what he thinks is for the best. Maybe he can get you an umbrella and you do your best Mary Poppins impression."

~~~~~~

30 minutes later I find myself in a full-on Walter-family-disscussion. "But uncle! I dont get to have girls stay overnight. Thats unfair!" Lee is looking at George, unable to hide his jealousy. "When did a girl ever wanted to stay overnight with you?" Isaac asks from across the table. Lee just ignores him, an angry look in his eyes.

"Look, its nothing that I will allow forever. But right now, she cant go home, so she is welcomed to stay here." I smile at him, thankful that I´m not getting thrown out. "Also, she is like a thirteen family member. She´s practically living here." George added. One look at Alex and I wanted to know what he was thinking. Was I just like a sister to him? "Okay enough of that. Y/n, dear you are welcome to stay the night. We will figure it out. Nathan is staying with Skylar, so his bed is free." I´m glad, Katherine is here. I thank her and George and by the time, we ate dinner and Alex got me a toothbrush, so I could get ready for bed, it was late after 11.

As I make my way back to Alex's room after using the bathroom to change into my clothes, leaving me with shorts and a shirt, Cole is suddenly standing next to me. "Well, what a great opportunity for you." He grins at me. At his comment, I am visible confused. "What do you mean?" I look up to his smiling figure. "You have him all by yourself, of course. Your chance to finally do something. I can´t stand it anymore, you like him and he likes you. I always thought you were the clever one out of you two, so please put everyone out of this misery and kiss him, because he´s a complete idiot. It's long overdue for you two to get together."

His words leave me stunned. After he´s done talking, he makes his way silently back to his own room and I´m still standing in the hallway, trying to process his words. Kiss him. He likes you. Does Alex really likes me or is that some cruel joke for Cole? I hope not. Because my friends have told me several times, that they think, Alex likes me too. But I always thought, they were wrong.

My heart is heavily pounding as I make my way back to his room, taking a deep breath as I open the door. Alex is playing a video game, as always, but I see that he also changed into something more comfortable. It helps me calm down my nerves, when I see him doing something, he always does. I take a few steps towards his chair and his concentrated figure.

I mean, what was there in life, if I didnt take any risks? If he likes me back, it could be the answer to all my dreams and if not - well, the weather was still going pretty bad and could help me out of the awkward situation.

When I decided to test their he-likes-you-too-theory, I quickly came up with a plan. Okay, so I wasnt the best at flirting, that was for sure, but I could make a move. For starters, I wanted something, I often thought about.

As I stand behind him, I trace my fingers along his shoulders, hearing his surprised breath, that he quickly tries to hide. Well too bad, I heard it.

"Alex?" My voice is quiet.

"...yes?" I can see his muscles tense, while I keep touching his shoulders, going lower until I touch his arm. Something about what Cole said, about Alex liking me, gives me a certain confidence, that wasnt there before. Please dont let the King of hooking up be wrong.

"Could I borrow one of your hoodies? I´m freezing and only have my shirt." I try not to think about the possibility that he laughs in my face and says no. But then again, I know that Alex wouldnt do that. "I-uh, yeah. You can, um, grab one out of my closet." I smile to myself, when I see his eyes nervously scanning the display. He paused the game, even though he doesnt look at me while he talks.

"Thanks." As I turn towards his closet, I get the feeling that he´s secretly watching me choose a hoodie. When I get a hold on a dark green one, I immediately know its the one from when we first met. I take it and walk towards the other bed, getting a glimpse of his eyes, that continue to follow me. And then I do something, I thought I would never do in front of him. I change out of my top, the cold air hitting my skin and I hear him gasps.

When I change into his hoodie, a settling warmth embraces me. I smile to myself, a joy blooms in my chest, the feeling of wearing his clothes, makes me feel too good to be true. The shorts I´m wearing are the same ones as before and I think, that I kinda like the casual look. And maybe it looks fine, that could be a good way to get Alex attention. My shorts cover my thighs, but because his hoodie is bigger than what I normally wear, this way it looks like I only wear his hoodie.

When I turn around and fix my hair, he already started another game again. Okay, mission getting-some-sort-of-reaction, is starting to get interesting. "Soo, what do you think? Too big?" I wait for his reaction. When he slowly turns around, one hand holding up his headphones, I see him trying not to stare too hard. But since I see his eyes scanning my body, it´s impossible for him to pretend. I smile to myself.

"And?" I make a step in his direction, watching him swallow. His eyes wander to the floor and a nervous expression crosses his face. "I- I need to finish this game so-" he turns around so fast, I´m almost surprised his neck didnt broke. Shit. That wasnt part of the plan. I glance around the room, trying to come up with something, another way to keep his attention at me. I sit on his bed, near his computer and decide to watch him play. I hear the sound of the game playing in the background, while I continue to think of a way for him to notice me.

And even though I keep my hands to myself, I see him sqirming in his seat. I laugh quietly. "Everything okay?" it seems he isnt that concentrated anymore. "Yeah, uh, are you bored? You never watch me play." His head turns to look at me. "You could teach me some moves." I say, looking at him and then the game, that shows a spider attacking some creature. He raises his eyebrows at my words.

"You sure? I thought you didnt like video games." My eyes wander to his lap as I quickly come up with a plan. "Maybe I will like it, if you show me some tricks. And also, I like you and you´re really interested in gaming, so I thought I could make an effort." His cheeks are blushing, my eyes are starring at his clueless ones.

A smile tucks at his lips, but he tries to keep his cool. "I mean, I´m really good at this, so I could teach you one or two lessons. Where do you want to sit? I only have one gaming chair, but-" he glances around the room, trying to come up with something.

"Well, we could share?" I ask, my voice sounding sincere and not as much thrilled at the idea, to sit in his lap, even though I am freaking out in my thoughts. His eyes widen, when he realizes what I just said.

"You want to-" he doesn't finish his sentence, stuttering at the idea of me sitting on his lap. "If thats okay with you, of course? I think its the best solution, I mean I do want the full experience. So its fair." I see him nervously licking his lips. "Yeah, yeah. I get that. Okay, cool, how do you want to-" I smile at him and his nervous speech. "Just relax, I dont bite. You do know that, right?" I laugh when I see his ears turning pink.

"Right. So uh, come here, I guess?" He puts his arms on the armrests to give me good access and I feel myself getting nervous. God, I never got to be this close to him. I stand up, his eyes take my form in his sweater in, I see him starring at the naked skin. And when I see something shining in his hair, I act without a second thought.

"You have something in your hair, dummy." It's a little paper ball from Benny, probably from the previous dinner (fight), I lean myself down, facing him forward in his lap and cross my legs over his thighs. I don't notice what position we are in until I lean back to show him the piece of paper and suddenly, I'm just a few centimeters from his face. Shocked by the less to no space we have left between us, he doesn't speak and neither do I. We just look at each other.

"i-i got it." The words leave my mouth, the distance between our faces -god his lips look so soft- leaves me speechless. It takes him a moment, but when he answers he sounds just as out of breath as me.

"thanks."

Again, we sit in silence. Suddenly I loose my balance and I almost fall out of the chair, but his arms are quick to catch me. So now, he has his arms around my waist and my arms linger around his shoulders for support. If I would lean closer, I could kiss him.

The thought of kissing him, makes me sqirm and when he lays his hands onto my waist to still my movements, I feel dizzy. Because Im not just sitting on his legs. Indeed, I sit literally on his lap. So when I feel myself getting wet, because he makes me so touch starved, I completely loose my mind.

"Im sorry- i didnt mean to sit that way. I just-" his eyes are so fascinating, brown, green and warm. It feels like he´s looking at my soul. He´s watching my every move. I know I should probably get up, but its the first time, he is that close to me and I cant stop looking at him.

Without a thought in my head, I raise my hand and touch his cheek. I see his lips breaking apart, so he can draw a surprised breath. "You have so many freckles everywhere." My eyes wander around his face. His voice comes back to life for a second, but only to sign. "Too many, actually." I draw my eyebrows together.

"It suits you and it´s not too much. Thats a perfectly fine amount of freckles. Look-" I start to count them. Each and every one. Starting from his ears towards his cheeks, his nose, further down until I stop at his lips. "You have one right above the corner of your mouth." I mutter, my thumb brushes his lips for a second.

Caught, my eyes sneak back to search his gaze. But he just looks at me. My heart feels like it could break any second, if I dont open my mouth to say something.

"You are" I begin to say "so beautiful to me. Every freckle you have, the colour of your eyes, your hair, your lips, your voice, just you."

I cant hold back anymore.

"i-i love you, Alex. I really do. I thought it would just be a crush that would go away, when time goes on, but it hasnt. You´re in every piece of my heart, you hold it together. You are my joy, my laugh, my sadness, you were everything for me, the first second I got to know you. Because you are the best person in my life, my best friend, my other half, my partner in crime, I would bail you out of jail in a heartbeat. Without you, my heart wouldn't beat anymore anyway. Because you make it live. Every day, every time I see you. Maybe if I would have known better, I would have never agreed to take your jacket, the first time we met. If I would have known, how absolutely in love I would get with you, it would have scared me to death. But now? Now I know better than to be away from you, because I better live as your best friend than without having you in my life. Because now, being away from you would be my death."

In one second, I bail my heart out and before I know it, he takes my face in his hands and leans forward. He stops his movement right before our lips touch.

"I think you will be the death of me too, sweetheart."

And with that, he kisses me.

Slow at first, his lips touch mine, so very soft and gentle. I almost think I´m dreaming, because his lips do feel like a dream to me. His hands caress my back and I clutch to his shoulders, afraid the moment will end. His warm hands strive back to my cheeks, tilding my head in a way he can have more access.

And I let him, mainly because I´m too caught up with this emotion and also because I would let him do anything with me. My hands are in his dark hair, gently tugging at his strings, so I get to hear that little breathless sound he makes, that makes my heart flutter.

I sink in his warm embrace, moving my lips with the same rhythm as him, hearing my heartbeat in my ears. His right hand goes to the back of my neck and this action makes me weak in the knees. And he notices it. Gently he breaks apart, leaving me with the want to have more of him and when I open my eyes - I didnt know I closed them - he looks at me, like I´m the sun and he´s the moon, that was away for too long.

"God, you´re so beautiful." His voice is deep, I can hear him catch his breath. His words make my heart ache until I think it isnt able to comprehend his compliment. I feel his lips again, my eyes flutter at the contact. One hand around my hip, holding me steady and the other one, around my neck, making me unsteady.

"alex-" a moan wants to escape me, but I try to hold myself together. His lips leave my mouth and trail further down, finding a spot at the curve of my neck.

"god, yes. Say my name again." I´m pretty sure, I never wanted him more than now.

My hands linger in his hair, I feel his hot breath on my skin and clench my thighs together. He is making me feel all worked up. As his lips leave that spot, I whimper his name, but as soon as his mouth leaves my body, he reconnects with it.

Brushing my hair aside, he kisses me again for a second before he lets go of me. With that, im completely convinced he hates me, the way he´s making me suffer. I hear him quietly laugh, so I slowly open my eyes to watch his face.

"You look drunk on love. Are you alright?" He smiles at me, looking at me, like he didnt just turn my world up site down (and my panties wet, by the way).

"What?" I ask, catching my breath. His skin glows and as I watch every detail of his face (how could I not), I almost miss his next sentence. "I would have never thought that this was your idea of gaming." I feel his shoulders move, when he tries to keep himself from laughing.

I gently smile and roll my eyes. "You are just too handsome for me, to concentrate on anything other than you." His cheeks turn red and there´s a glimmer in his eyes, that makes me feel completed. "So that´s why you have bad grades in math, maybe I shouldnt be sitting next to you then." His joke makes me laugh.

"Well, maybe you can give me some private lessons, so I could improve." At that, he opens his mouth, but no words are said. "Too stunned to speak?" I lean forward, his eyes follow my lips. "You just never flirted with me, its distracting." He looks up.

I just shake my head. One of my hands sneaks around to linger at his cheek. "Oh, trust me. I have. You just never noticed." His eyebrows rise. "Thats a shame. But I guess I have now." He catches my lips.

Yes, he definitely did notice me now.

[evadnesworld]

a cure to jealousy- head pats, xavier x reader

c/w: probs ooc, lowercase everything, xaviers jealous, that new kitty events got me in a chokehold, sickness (cold),

youre an attractive person, xavier knows that- i mean who wouldnt want you? you had the most beautiful smile, one that reached your eyes, speaking of eyes- yours were beautiful. to xavier they were like the stars, nebulae would shy away in awe and jealousy because of your sheer beauty. you hands, hands which he could hold, nuzzle against, the same hands that gave him pats whenever and wherever were now being held by anthor.

if you asked anybody what this sight looked like, they would respond by saying it was a confession, one that was being rejected. they would pay no attention to you soft familiar hands, your dazzling eyes, and your sincere smile. but for xavier- it was all he could look like. i mean, how dare this rando think he could hold you hand without permission?

but before that, allow me to paint the picture for you.

xavier had fallen ill shortly after magically evolving into a feline, you two werent sure it was because of the transformation- but one thing was for certain, it was a bad cold. he was sweating, his cheeks red, his voice raspy- if this was a different situation, it wouldnt cause much worry. but seeing how frail he was, you had declared that you would go to the store to buy him some medicine.

and my declare, i literally mean that- not only was he clingy because he was a cat but he was clingy because he was sick. so he turned into the ultimate clingy monster.

so, you decided to venture out of your shared home to the local pharmacy, thats where you saw a fellow coworker- one who did not know you had a boyfriend.

and as you purchased the medicine and began to walk back home as you approached your door, h stoppd you- with red cheeks, and a rapid heartbeat he grabbed your hand. and as though it were only the two of you there, he yelled out "i like you, please go out with me!" and if this was a shojo manga, this wouldve been cute.

but it wasnt.

you promptly rejected him, letting go of his hands after a moment- not knowing that your boyfriend lingered by your door, seeing all of this unfold.

after you had left, he decided to take a nap- but not seeing you, or feeling your presence made him pout. his ears ringing, his hart thumping, making so much noise that most of his thoughts were drowned out. but one lingered, and this thought was about you and your absence.

he decided to get up, and wait by the door, no matter how many weird stares he got from neighbors wondering by this sickly boy was standing by the door for so long.

you stopped when you saw him before smiling, a smile which instantly disappeared as he looked away with a pout.

"have you already decided to abandon me so quickly? youre so quick to hold the hand of others, but ever since i got sick youve kept your distance from me." his ears dropped as he crossed his arms, tilting his chin down for an added effect.

you walked over to him, not without chuckling- which wasnt taken well. his ears seemed to droop even more now.

"xav, it was just a guy from work, i rejected him- he was nowhere near as good as you." you teased as you brought your hand to pat his head, this was also not well recieved. he turned his head away, rejecting the pats even though thats what he desperately craved for at the moment.

you ushered him inside the house and turned to him once more as the door closed, "dont worry xav, my hearts only with you. but if you insist that it isnt then ill hav no choice but to leave." you let out a fake somber sigh,

to say this alarmed xavier was an understatement, because that pout soon turned into a frown. if it was any other day, hed insist- but with this horrible cold that decided to attack him, he leaned into your touch with defeat.

and it was there when you felt the familiar softness of his hair as he allowed you to stroke his ears once more. he sounded as though he was purring- your touch made him melt. his body slumping against yours as you two made your way to your shared bed. and after giving him medicine, he clung onto your like there was no tomorrow.

and you too had to accept defeat as you laid with him, his breaths slowing as he surrender to his drowsiness- peaceful now that you were by his side and not somebody elses. content with your warmth, and more than content that hed spend the rest of his life with you.

at least he hoped he would.

dividers from @/nicodefresas and @/konatasoup

how do i improve this story? i know hes ooc, but what would make him less ooc?

[hannahlovesluca]

Hihihihihi K Anon here :DD

Feel free to do this last or put this one as the last in the row !!

Can i request Luxiem boys(+ Ver cause he's my pathetic boyfailure)'s reactions to finding out that their s/o has a naturally cold body temperature?Like you'd think they'd be warm from their personality but when you touch them it's just freezing cold and they just go (:

Anyways please take care of yourself,drink and eat enough and rest enough !! Your health is important pookie

-K Anon

Luxiem + Ver with S/O Who has a Cold Body Temperature

• before you guys had actually met up irl (met through NIJI) and you told him how cold your hands always were, he lowkey didnt believe you because you just have such a warm personality

• however, when you guys first get together irl, first thing he’s doing is holding your hand because he’s so smitten

• and then his eyes go wide and hes just like??

• even though you don’t actually feel cold, he’ll take both of your hands in his and try to warm them up

• he also lowkey likes it too because he definitely prefers to be cold when sleeping and when you guys are cuddling hes just 🥰🥰

• our boyfailure just loves u sm!!!

• i love ver but i’ll be honest idk too much about him so writing for him is xtra hard 😭😭

• lets say you guys knew each other before niji

• maybe you went to the same high school and started dating then?

• anyway he genuinely worries for you, he does his research and its a pretty big sign for low iron so he’ll probably always ask if theres anything thats bothering you and you have to reassure him that its okay

• im sorry but he DEFINITELY blows on your hands softly to warm them up :((

• hes such a horndog but he can be so so soft and sweet

• and he knows how soft he is with you and isnt afraid to admit that he is!!

• he will NOT hide the fact that he loves you!!

• even if you’re not actually cold your skin just is, he’ll still tuck you in with extra blankets and make sure to cuddle the coldest parts of your body!!

• im sorry but he cracks a few jokes about you being elsa or some shit

• he probably flinches the first time he feels how cold your hand is :((

• he prefers being cozy and warm so it’s a big adjustment for him but he’ll do ANYTHING for you!!!

• definitely teases you about it as long as he knows your comfortable with it, otherwise he wouldnt

• i watch mysta, but again, not one of my oshi’s so its somewhat hard to think of things to add but i swear im trying

• even after knowing about your body temperature, he still probably flinches sometimes :((

• poor baby loves you so much and he wants you to know that and he feels so fucking bad because he doesn’t think hes showing it enough

• apologizes to you repeatedly about it :(

• much like vox, he’ll definitely make sure you’re always covered up even if you’re not actually cold

• “mysta, im having a heat stroke..”

• “too bad.” *sticks tongue out at you*

• GOLDEN RETRIEVER GIVES YOU HIS GLOVES

• “y/n, baby, are you okay? 🥺”

• looks at you exactly like that emoji

• holds your hands in his and probably presses them up against his chest for extra warmth 💟💟

• is the type to make you hot chocolate not only because it tastes good and you like it but because it’ll warm up your body

• hes so thorough with everything he does and remembers everything about you :((

• much like vox, he looks it up and once he sees that it could be something like low iron hes just like :0

• he hadnt even thought about that!!! what kind of a boyfriend was he!!!!

• ^ the best one ever

• HE LOVES TAKING WARM SHOWERS/BATHS WITH YOU

• im brain rotting i want to shower with him

• pls he deserves so much love how has he never had a gf anyone would be so lucky shouldve been me shouldve been me oh my god

• no parasocial

• anyways probably tells the lucubs and your fanbase about how cold you are just naturally and how hes worried, and when the clip gets shown to you youre just like 🥹🥹🥹

• “yeah, chat! Y/N is so cold, it kinda worries me. Apparently it can mean a lot of things and im scared they might have low iron or something..” *with a pout*

• and that was when they realized something was going on between you two

• THE MAN OF SEX HIMSELF

• anyways, much like vox, he definitely blows softly on your hands with warm breath to warm them up im so :(

• he also, like luca, will probably get you gloves (he would lend you his but they wouldn’t fo much)

• he probably reads to you while holding your hand and will look at you now and then just to make sure you’re ACTUALLY not cold

• he worries so much about you and being an overthinker doesnt help his case

• i imagine he’ll probably breathe on your hands whilst singing to you softly and just cradling you in his arms

• the man wants nothing more than for you to be happy and healthy and and and and

• ugh he just wants you to have everything good in life because you deserve it and

• i could rant about this man for ages plz restrain me

• anyway if he catches you wearing the gloves he bought you his heart will explode because he got you those and its just so :))))))))

• yk that Harry Styles song “Falling” thats literally him with you thats him in a relationship i cant explain it i just

• he also has a naturally cold body temp

• so the first time he holds your hands hes just :D

• much like ver, he prefers sleeping somewhat cold so when he cuddles you hes practically in heaven 🥰🥰

• his head buried in your chest while cuddling i cant

• brain is not functioning

• shu is just such a chill guy he wouldnt really have that much of a reaction 😭😭

[ohnomytummy]

Hi, I have a story from this Thanksgiving that I thought this community would like, and I don't have a kink blog to post it to so I'm gonna share it here cause I know your box is always open. Lol

I'm relatively thin, severely underweight for a good chunk of my childhood, have always been poor so I've never gotten to indulge too much in feasting, not in this economy. But long backstory short, I had the house to myself for pretty much 4 days straight for Thanksgiving break, along with all the leftover food from the entire family thanksgiving.. I was asked to toss most of it because we didn't have room in the fridge and it would go bad, but I didn't want any of it to go to waste.. you can probably tell where his is going..

I have a pretty sensitive stomach since I get full pretty quick, and I'm also lactose intolerant and most meat makes me gassy (and sweaty for some reason?), but for some reason none of that mattered to me, I put a YouTube series I've been itching to watch on my phone and munched on everything that was in front of me which included:

-almost half of a turkey that had been sitting out on the table for a day

-a platter of cheese and cube/slice things and pepperoni/some other meat I forgot

-I wanna say maybe 20 small sugar cookies (the puffy Walmart ones with frosting)

-about 2 litres total of a miz of lemonade, sprite, ginger ale, and coca cola

- 5 bread rolls with melted cheese and butter

-uncounted handfuls old candy I still had from Halloween....

I didn't even realize I'd been eating so much, but I guess since it was all over the course of about a day (9 hours-ish?) It was gradual enough that I didn't realize I'd gone overboard until the end. I remember reaching for the next thing getting ready and thinking "wow i wonder how much ive eaten" and seeing that the answer was all of it. I was wearing an elastic tank top, and I looked down and holy shit I looked pregnant. The tank top is kind of long but there was maybe an inch of belly sticking out from underneath naturally, and the tank top itself was like vacuum sealed tight to my skin!

This is where stuff gets crazy. I put my hand on my stomach to rub it and I could feel it churning under my hand, from the inside ofc and through my belly. I'd been burping throughout the whole stuffing absent-mindedly, but now that it was all setting in, I felt like I was going to puke. I couldn't even feel nauseous at first, it was just PAIN in my middle and I could barely get up. I'm so glad I was alone because I was moaning and rubbing my belly with both hands, holding it as I tried to get up. I could feel myself bringing up burps with every exhale, they were like.. soft and quiet but also really deep and sick, coming out with every breath, like "... urrrrrrp.. hic-hurrrrrp... uurppp. ur-urrp... hic-hUuuurrrrrrrrrp..." and with groans after each one lmao. I made my way to the bathroom eventually and sat by the toilet, sure I was gonna be sick, but I wasn't. I almost wanted to be, but I think I was just too scared to puke. So I sat back against the tub, facing the toilet, my whole body was covered in a cold sweat atp and i was rubbing my belly, and I could feel every single rumble as it ripped through my stomach and rose up as a belch. I couldn't stop burping like I was just about crying on the bathroom floor, bloated as a tick, belching helplessly. After a few minutes the burps started slowing down, but they were much more wet when they did come up. I think the meat and lactose was probably digesting now because I actually started to feel queasy. I started holding in my burps in fear that the food might come up, but then the air started xoming out the back. Starting with small short toots, leading to nauseous farts that, much like the burps, WOULDNT STOP. I was uncontrollably farting, small short bursts every few seconds and idk how to describe it but the farts felt pukey somehow. My stomach was churning like crazy and I could hear it from the outside (still felt intense as I rubbed it too). All the while the original belches never really stopped, so I was just on the floor, gas from both ends pouring out. My stomach was so hard and tight it felt like a bowling ball attached to me and my shirt was so tight it was so hot in hindsight but I felt like I was dying in the moment. Anyways I eventually fell asleep on the floor, woke up feeling sick, burped and farted next to the toilet again and tried doing the doggy-style yoga pose (best that I could, anyways, with my bloated upset tummy still filled with rotting undigested Thanksgiving leftovers) and kept farting until out of nowhere I almost shat myself, I think the position I was in moved the air along but the air took some stuff with it, so now I had to abandon that and sit on the toilet with a trash bin next to me because I couldn't fit it between my legs (my tummy took up the room lol) and it was mostly just me being sick from both ends, along with super uncontrollable rumbly burps and farts that just would not ever fucking stop.

Once it was all out things went back to normal, other than me being really gassy for a few more days.

I will let my uh *cough* community have this 😳🥵

[mayearies]

SZNS CHANGE ★⭑ ——— jotw

<- prev part | next part ->

that was weeks ago. things changed since then, and not equally on both sides. you and miles started drifting apart as you wouldnt bother to see him and the rest of your friendgroup as much. your new boyfriend was your top priority. miles stayed behind and all would brew inside him was loneliness and jealousy. but you still made an effort to see him.

you would come over on weekends like you usually did, only that it was different. sometimes you wouldn’t even stay a full day, and when you were around you would talk about your relationship with him. he listened, but he slowly was getting sick of hearing his name over and over again. you expressed the ups and downs, how you would break up every two days and be back the next. he knew it was healthy, you just thought of it as trial and error.

“mr. morales!” the professor’s voice stopped his train of thought, next thing he knew all eyes were on him. “are you gonna keep staring into space, or actually participate?” she went back to writing on the chalkboard as snickers were heard around him.

a member of your friendgroup scooted her desk closer to him, “you seem stressed. is it about her?”

he nodded with a face of discomfort. she had already knew about his unrequited love, and felt pity for him. she didnt hold it against you because you somehow didnt know, even if it was quite obvious. miles felt the same. “you wanna talk about it after class?”

“there’s nothing to talk about. it’s not like there’s gonna be a guarantee she’ll like me or understand. she couldn’t even keep her promise.” he shrugged his shoulders and the rhythmic taps of his pencil became louder.

“hey. if it don’t work out, im always available!” miles scoffed, “you play too much. my answer is still no.”

“your loss.”

you felt your heart drop everytime you saw miles in the hallways with your friends. well, not-so friends at the moment. you didnt see them often, remember? something about not seeing him like you used to made you ache.

your boyfriend dropped you off at class, until he saw your face and gave a confused look, “what’s up with you?”

“nothing. i’ll get over it.”

“if its about last night, i apologised already-”

“its not-!” your voice raised a little, “its not about that. i’m over it. shit happens.”

yeah, it does.

miles wasn’t a violent person from what you knew. the daily trial of fighting villians was all you thought he did. you never thought it got to this. when you heard the news, you rushed to the nurses office during your study hall break. what had come over him? your boyfriend sat in the chair outside with a icepack taped to his eye and bandages on his knuckles. they were bloody. 

you knew a video of the fight was going around, and the first person it was sent to was you. it claimed that your boyfriend started it, with his normal snarky remarks. he never likes miles, if anything he would talk shit every chance he got. he tried to get you to drop him several times but you refused. but now you were seriously reconsidering that thought.

miles sat across the room, just staring at the wall. according to the nurse, he had initiated the fight. and he had also hit the hardest. the injuries he suffered was a mild hematoma on his forehead and some minor bruises on his chest and face. you stepped towards him, your boyfriend’s eyes wandering. “miles-“

“miles, your mom is here to take you home.” the nurse inturrupted, “make sure to take some tylenol to ease the pain, keep some ice on it.” he nodded and left, without batting an eye towards you as he bumped into your shoulder.

“you told him about us?” his tone turned cold, but you were used to it.

“no! i didnt tell him about- that.”

he huffed, giving you a glare. “then how does he know? if you didn’t say anything?”

you might’ve let something slip.

@ mayearies , no swiping!

[cxsha-sicily]

he broke my heart, so why did i run back?

synopsis: you're biker ex-boyfriend helps you get back home from a party. Do you run back or leave him in the past.

paring: geto suguru x reader

w. fem! reader, biker! geto suguru, fluff, angst, modern AU

i just got back from a late night party and was walking out of the carpark alone when i heard a sudden engine roar. I didn't even bother to look back because i already knew that familiar sound all too well. my ex-boyfriend, Geto sugure

geto drove in-front of me, blocking my path before i could even make the next step. His gaze shifts down to my dead phone. i gave him a glare and he chuckles before flashing his cocky smirk.

"hop on" he says to me, patting his bike.

i didn't have any other options. My phone was dead so i couldnt call my friends to take me home and walking to my house would be a pain. i hopped on the back of the motorcycle.

geto felt his heart skip a few beats when he felt my arms around his waist; holding him tightly. he put his hands over mine and gave him a gentle squeeze before taking off. he felt like he was in paradise as he feels me hugging him from behind. he was always calm around ,e, but he was always shy when it came to his feelings.

he was a huge introvert. He wasn't exactly someone who could hold a conversation. it took him so long to say the big three words to me, and it took him even longer to find the courage to even look into my eyes.

i just hopes he knows that im only holding onto him so that i dont fall. Not because i wanted to. If i had another way to get home then i would use it.

it was quiet during the whole ride. All i could hear was the engine noise and the wind rushing in my ears. i felt the night breeze blowing against my face. His body heat made me comfortable, though it was still cold at night.

when he finally arrived at my house, he turned off his motorcycle and put down the stand, letting me get off his bike. he took off his helmet off and shook his hair a little. It was almost as if he still looks good even after a simple action like this.

i said a quick thank you and hopped off his bike.

he gave a simple smile and a nod in response. He was a man of few words. But as soon as i turned around to walk to my home, he called out to me. I could tell that he really didnt want to part ways, not yet

"Y/N"

he called out my man so suddenly, but it came out softly like honey.

i turned my head. i was shocked that he called me by my first name. he used to call me n/n.

"will you at least sit with for a little, for old times sake?"

he said, He knew he was being selfish. He knew he felt me, but he couldnt help but wonder if he was still the one who made me laugh, smile, cry. He hated how much he missed me and how much he wants to be with me. He felt lonely and cold without me. This is the closest he's been in almost a year.

i thought for a second. Do i really want to sit with him? A man i worked so hard to get over? someone who left me broken and crying in my bed for day on end? before i could think about it, my mouth moved on its own.

"okay"

why would i say that? he left me bent and i had to mold myself back. I promised myself that i wouldnt run back to him.

he let out a silent sigh in relief. He wasnt exactly sure whether i'd say yes or no. To be exact, he wasn't expecting me to said yes. He felt his heart thumping loudly. He gestured to the spot next to him as he patted beside him.

he felt his heart racing again as soon as i sat down next to him. The first time we've had been so close after nearly one year of no contact.

i walked to the spot next to him and started looking at the moon and the stars.

he stares at my side profile for a while. my hair moved in the wind beautifully and he watched me quietly under the dim light from the steetlights. He felt a small smile creep up on his face as he kept admiring my features.

" do you wanna talk or did you want us to sit here in silence"

it didnt matter to him, really. He was more than happy just being next to me. His hand inched closer to mine. the urge to hold my hand was becoming too unbearable. He finally placed his palm on my hand and squeezed it. He knew i would pull away, or snatch my hand away, but he still tried anyways.

i want to pull away, i really did but i couldn't. his hands were just as cold and rough as i imagined them. They matched my soft warm hands.

i was screaming at myself for letting myself get here. Why couldn't i just raincheck this? Why did i have to agree? do i even have it in my to disagree?"

he noticed that i didn't pull my hands away. He took it as a sign. his thumb gently traced small circles on the back of my hand. He tried to keep his cool and act casual, but he knew he was blushing like crazy right now.

"you still remember the first day we met back when we were both in college?"

he asked, trying to start a conversation. His mind couldn't find anything else to talk about, he just knew he wanted to hear my voice.

i nodded my head. How can i forget the day when i met my first love? the first time i laid my eyes on him, i new he was all i wanted.

He smiles when i agreed and the memories of the day came back to the both of us.

the both of us were in the college library. He was working some part time job at the library while i was studying for an upcoming exam. i dropped a bunch of my book all over the floor and he helped to pick them up.

i remember his asking to get lunch together, and the rest was history. Those were the days, when neither of us had a care in the world.

we were together for nearly two years before we broke up. i also remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in our shared apartment, and got a text saying we needed to talk when he got off work. After one hour later, he got off work while i was doing our laundry.

he didn't hug me and he didn't kiss me like he normally did. He sat me down and told me that we needed to breakup. Some girl from his highschool enrolled in our collage and caught his eye. he explained that he didn't hold the same amount of love for me like he loved her.

i guess they were right when they said first loves dont die.

" i also remember the day we broke up"

he held his breath when i mentioned the break up. it was difficult for him, because even though he left me, he still felt like he never stopped loving me. He was devastated knowing that he was the one who put me through it all and ruined me. He didn't deserve my love, and he never will. He let me go because he didn't want to see me hurt

"can i ask you a question?"

[marvelita85]

The king was death and queen Rhaenyra asended the throne, obviously the greens meaning Alicent and Otto thought the only reason they weren't dead by her hand was you, her daughter, being bethroded to Alicent son prince Aemond, bedrothal the late king Viserys claimed for the union of both families

You were turning 7 and 10 and as your nameday aproched your wedding with your uncle also did

You were close growing up, so close you did everything together, you even took him to fly on your own dragon when he havent claimed Vaghar yet, you both loved eachother but then Luke took his eye in the Drifmark incident and everything changed, letters stoped from his part altogether and after a year sending them you stoped too, you cried in your mother's arms long nights not understanding why Aemond stoped being your friend, Rhaenyra was hurtting looking at you in so much pain, she sent a letter to the king and Viserys decided to bethroded them, because he believed Aemond still felt love for you but you werent so sure anymore, his eye was so cold, and full of resentment towars your brothers and you

The night before the wedding there was a dinner only the family was present, Rhaenyra and Daemon ,Alicent was invited but not the former hand, Rhaenyra saw the looks between her brother and her daughter, all the nights you cried because of him and still the look of his eye looking at you always was softer than for the rest of Rhaenyra's children

You got out to the private gardens and close your eyes tried to breath in and out calming your nervs to tried to struck Aegon with your fork over dinner, the thought only made you smile

- to this hour tomorrow we are going to be married...-the voice made you started a little but you look who was talking and smile a little

- you are going to be mine... and I yours... why are you marrying me? Why did you say yes to our engagment

- what do you mean?

- you never wrote me back... after Driftmark you not only hated my brothers but also me

- I dont hate you... I woulnt be able to marry you if i did

- then why you never wrote me back?....

- what?

- i wrote you for a whole year before I realised you hated me and blame me for what happened to you, so I stoped sending them but I couldn't stop writing to you...

- I never recived any letter...

- I'm sure your grandfather and mother were very intrested in you not to get them

- I thought you abandoned me...

- you were my best friend Aemond... I never have wanted to walk out of your life... will be always like this then.... from now on we will be strangers doom to a loveless marriage

- it wouldnt be loveless... - yours eyes looked at him softening conciderably - despite what you might believe... I...

- Aem.... please...

- I still love you - you hold his hand creating an ancor for yourself, you needed those words coming from him - Im so sorry about the letters....

- I still have the ones I didnt send... it's silly

- no is not... I would like to read some if you let me - you couldnt help to hug him presing your bodies together, Aemond's arms went around you hugging as tight and close his eye presing his cheek into your blonde locks, there, only the godswood tree as their witness Aemond swore to protect you until his last breath and never let anyone else between them

-

[ddejavvu]

the ultimate boyfriend james potter in my head will forevermore be big beefy rugby jamie because that is SO boyfriend material so here i am projecting <33

James with a bestfriend (wink) or s/o that has cold hands 90% of the time. like, cold hands and cold feet . but cold hands so it takes so long to text back sometimes if they’re out n hes like “oh god am i in trouble she’s been typing for three whole minutes now” but it’s literally just ice fingers taking ages to work

very clear image of him being like - like you’ll both be out somewhere so he’ll ‘accidentally’ brush ur hand but when he notices how cold it actually is he drops all coyness and he’s just like “bug what??? ur hands r freezing why wouldnt you tell me 😡😡👎” while he’s blowing into em and then he gets to use the excuse allllll the time to hold ur hands cus he’s just being a good friend, wouldn’t want ur hands to freeze off! (even if ur hands r warm like ur sat watching a movie he’ll just hold em, and if u give him a look he just :]] )

oh god he’d probably also use it as a way to flirt even harder. like he’d notice ur hands are ice and ur maybe sat on em to warm em up so he’ll drop in a cheeky comment about how his tummys(abs he means his abs feel em it’s okay) always super warm and to use it as a heater. okay fine 🙄🙄 my arms are red hot too, go on, i suppose u can use them instead and ur like “james i am not going to feel u up” and he just :]

he definitely sends u lovey dovey taylor swift songs all the time cus he heard u humming one ONCE. he sends u wonderland, enchanted, U BELONG WITH ME, invisible string, lover, cardigan (he makes a playlist with these + others on and ur sat there like ‘🤨🤨🤨 is this..platonic?’)

(other honourable mentions on the playlist that I love and James would think he’s so sneaky and smart for adding: vanilla baby by billie marten, here you come again by Dolly Parton, uptown girl, build me up buttercup, hopelessly devoted to you, be my baby, i know it’s sapphic but he’d add she by dodie, cant take my eyes off you, my kind of woman, kiss me) n he would jokingly sing them to u randomly even when he knows you’ll get embarrassed and try and escape the area as soon as he starts up but that then gives him a reason to silly sing and hold onto u so ur now close to him, in his arms, and he can see u all cringing and embarrassed but at least ur attentions alllll on him [ie you’ll all be out at a pub and you hear the first four words from “cant take my eyes off you” come out of James’ mouth and ur immediately up n ready to bolt]

i thjnk i just enjoy the pining too much so all of this is James Potter Pining Pre Relationship thoughts because as nice as relationships are, the little bit before them is so sweet too <33 especially when reader is a bit blind lmao like UR SO STUPID HE OBVIOUSLY LIKES U (sirius would definitely shout this repeated from the get go, he’s like “babe he added paper rings and willow by Taylor fucking Swift to ur fucking COUPLES playlist after hanging out today - all he did was make moon eyes at u as he rubbed ur hands pls OPEN UR FUCKIN EYES” and Remus would have to redirect him cus he’s going a bit red in the face from lack of oxygen 💀💀)

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

--

BIG !! BEEFY !! RUGBY !! JAMES !! i actually got this ask like.. 9 seconds after u sent it.. bc i was obsessively refreshing tumblr while waiting for my dad in the car.. and the way that i giggled and kicked my feet and twirled my hair and skgsndjfanfkskjnakfnSNGKSJFNJFSND every single thought you send me scratches my brain in just the right way, i know when i see you pop up in my inbox i'm in for the treat of a lifetime <333

ICE FINGERS!!! i swear my poor best friend has to wait 20 minutes for little responses, i totally identify with that <33 no sometimes he just calls you like 'honey baby love darling are you hurt? are you okay?' and you're like >:(( i'm cold >:((

“bug what??? ur hands r freezing why wouldnt you tell me 😡😡👎”

he totally gets snippy about it!!! like 'that's my job, y'know, as your best friend. can't believe you'd lie to me.' / 'i didn't lie?' / ' you didn't tell the truth either!'

so he grabs em and gives em a good rub, and you swear you're about to short circuit when he raises them to his lips and blows hot air into them, rubbing them together with his own large, calloused ones <33

LMFAO SGKJDNFD NO BC he's like did u know my abs r actually so warm. they're a heater. biceps, too, it's a natural heating pack. and oh, god, don't get me started 'bout between my legs- and ur like JAMES!!!! NO!!!!! but he's >:)) why not sweetheart, afraid you'll like it??

HEHE i don't listen to much of her music but i know a few songs on there and yes, they're all on my james playlist!!! he slaps 'em on there, definitely plays love story at parties so he can kneel and pretend to propose to you and if you do not say yes he gets so butthurt. but not mean butthurt, pouty butthurt, and you'll have to rub his back and promise you didn't mean to hurt his feelings <33

NO BC SO MANY OF THOSE SONGS ARE ON MY JAMES PLAYLIST??? he's a loverboy fr, and he can't stop embarrassing you in public by singing to you. it's two birds with one stone, yk? one because he gets to basically confess to you, serenade you in front of a crowd and treat you like a princess the way you deserve, but two, because you always get all flustered!! and it means that you'll bury your burning face into his chest so no one can see you, and he can spin you around and sing about how much he adores you :')

no you are so right!! that's why i love slow burns so much, because the build up is so sweet!! i shit you not, the majority of my roommate!marauders fic plans are literally just reader and james growing sickeningly close and pining all the time because it's what i want in life!!! james potter loves hard and he should love me.

LMFAO SIRIUS IS LIKE REALLY.. REALLY BABE? AND I THOUGHT REMUS WAS SLOW ON THE ROMANTIC UPTAKE.. he definitely locks you in rooms together or ditches you on walks or pushes you into james so the big beefy guy can catch you <3333

[kuni-is-daddy]

WORKING OUT WITH GOJO SATORU. X GN READER.

Ft: Teasing, grinding.

1.1k words of gojo thirsting for u.

Gojo x Female reader smut

WARNING: NSFW CONTENT.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

At first gojo would ask you to come along just so you can watch him dead lift 200+lbs(pounds) or even be his "spotter" so he 'wouldnt get hurt', the spotter part was your idea. But just the thought of watching gojo sweat and breathe heavy gave you butterflies in your stomach. If you two would go to a public gym gojo would 100% FLEX HIS ASS OFF. Lift 200lbs? Nah gojo's going to 400lb. It doesnt matter if these other 'people' look more 'ripped' then him. He'll show them up without a problem. "Yeah you like that baby?" He'd grunt mid lift. "F-fuck..Its all for you love~" You'd scold him for pushing himself too hard but he'd suck his teeth, pick you up without warning and carry you bridal style out the gym. Laughing as you'd punch at him to put you down because it was 'embarrassing'

Gojo who would also send you pictures and videos of him lifting. Captioning how he can't wait to show you his progress. Up close. He'd sometimes even wear more revealing. Clothes during missions you two got paired up in. Turning off his infinity just so the wind can blow through his shirt and reveal his abs. Only for Utahime and Nobara to scold him.

If he's deadlifting sometimes gojo would joke around and act like the weight was too heavy for him or he got gradually tired, it could even be considered as a test of trust the first couple of times he invites you over. He'd smile and blush at how you tried so hard to hold it up for him after he made 'pained grunts.' even using cursed energy slightly because it was too heavy for you. (Gojo was completely fine holding up that much btw). He'd yank the weight off of him. trying to 'catch his breath' only to see you running around the gym that you've never been too before, asking people where you can buy water and cold towels for him. And that was another moment when gojo truly fell in love with you

One day Gojo finds you in the gym before he is. Wearing clothes lighter/thinner then your average attire as you sat on your phone waiting for him to arrive. "Hm? I see you got here before me baby~" He'd walk up to you with his gym bag. Wearing a black tank top, shorts and his iconic shades. Gojo is so tall~ (around 6'3) so even when his body isnt flexed out he towers over you so easily. "Well..I was thinking of joining you this time toru~" you smirk while looking him up and down, watching as he takes off his shades and his beautiful blue eyes glow, Now looking at you with an intimate gaze.

Gojo didnt have a problem with whatever you we're trying to achieve at the gym for any reason. Be it for your mental health, For him, Or just for the sake of being fit or trying something new. He loved the idea of you even doing something as far as exercise because it meant you we're getting stronger. Just.. 'Not as strong as him' he'd chuckle to himself while watching you do warm ups...Specifically squats.

He'd count out how much your doing, constantly telling you to push yourself and keep going 'just f' me' Until eventually it looks like gojo is enjoying himself a little TOO much. He's paying so much attention to your ass and how you'd recklessly bounce up and down from how tired you we're getting. Imagining how you'd bounce on his cock while pleading for him to let you cum "T-toru! oh fuck toru~ please..im so close daddy.." "Hah..Your so fucking good for me, Milking my cock just like that.. Dont stop.." Gojo gets caught out of his hard daze when you stop exercising and just stare at him with your hands on your hips because he somehow went from the number 14 to 69- while counting.

Gojo would pout and tug at your arm for you to keep exercising because you look so fucking hot. "Cmon baby..I promise i wont look...so much.. kay? You just..Do what your doing over there and ill be over here lifting-" he'd smile and give you a thumbs up while scooting over to the weights. "okay toru~ if you say so..." You'd constantly stop mid set to take a peek behind you to see if gojo was being a pervert, But everytime you would he'd just look 'normal'. When in reality gojo was talking glances at you, lifting with one hand and rubbing against his clothed length with the other. Mumbling how good you looked for him, How your sweat coated your body so well, watching as you perked up your lips when taking a sip of your water. "Yeah baby..thats what im talkin about' Dont stop.. your doin so well... fuck yeah..sweat for me~" You'd look at him dumfounded and ask if he was alright. "Yeah baby im great~ you keep exercising for me alright? get that heart healthy f' me~ you and that good form of yours. So fucking good" He'd take off his shirt, his chest glistening and pumping out through his sweaty body. You'd choke on your water while examining his body. "heh..Like what you see baby? Didnt get these over night~" he'd place the weight down and begin walking towards you, Flicking his hands through his hair. "How about I give you a treat baby? You've been so good f' me, working so fucking hard~ how about i help you out.."

You would shyly look away, calling gojo distracting because you we're trying to 'focus' but he loved that even more~ how dedicated you we're..how persisent you we're..All for him. He'd pull you into a sloppy kiss, picking you up and sitting on the bench. Your hands would begin to trail along his chest, Feeling his hot body against your own. "You can touch this body all you want baby~ its all yours." he pulled away from the kiss, trailing his mouth along the side of your neck, sending you chills down your body. "T-toru..we shouldnt do it here..What if someone comes in and see's.." You'd tug at his sweaty warm body. "mmm good then baby, let them see. Want everyone to be fucking jealous. So dam lucky to have you in my life, love you so dam much~" Gojo began to bite at your shoulder, tugging at your top. "shit..Wanna take you on right fucking now y/n. Cmon~ let daddy touch you, let me reward you~"

Your shivered at how touch gojo began to get, Not even trying to hide it anymore as he shifted his hands down to your waist, Moving your body over so you'd grind right against him. "T-toru...Toru.." youd moan out his name. holding onto his built arms while the intense heat of the gym ambushed your body as you could feel gojo's pent up length now grinding on your. "fuck...Yes baby?" "T-touch me..please..i want it~" "oh yeah baby~ know' you wanted more. Addicted to this cock yeah? say how much you want it~" he laid his head back against the bench, slapping your ass while you grinded against his length. "G-Gojo~ please...oh shit..please~ I cant, I wanna cum~ I wanna cum for you gojo~ I want you so bad daddy~" "Fuck yeah..thats what i wanted to hear baby~ beg for me more like a slut while daddy rewards you~"

[mccnstruck]

for forever, never yours.

characters: kazuha x gn!reader

tags: hurt no comfort, angst, mutual pining but you never get together, kazuha has commitment issues LMFAO, short fic, kissing

a/n: if you saw this before....no you didnt. HAHA but i reposted it because this wouldnt show up on any tags whatsoever and i need validation but anyways ENJOY

Your body shook rapidly, and had it not been for the individual in front of you, you would have thought of the house to be cold. Yet, the cold winds outside couldn't bear to strike your heart, as his quiet, unsweetened words did.

Your hands encaptured his, and you lowered your head to avoid his pitiful gaze.

“Please, Kazuha. I know you like me. I've seen the letters. I'm not blind to the way you look at me. Please.”

Refusing to let him see your tears, you failed to notice the accompanied shine in his eyes.

“You know I cannot fulfill your wish, my star.”

You shot your head up.

“Why…just why?! If you have the ability to write about my presence with words so sweet it hurts, then why can't you say it to me right now? Why can't you confess to me right now?”

You paused your outburst and lowered your head in desperation. Tears pricked your vision.

“Why call me ‘my star’ when I can't even be yours…?”

For the first time in your acquaintance with Kazuha, you had finally got him to become undoubtedly, utterly speechless. Yet, no sense of acknowledgement or reward eased the burning pain in your heart.

A silence of sadness drowned your heart in longing, yet the very person you longed for was so close…

And yet…so, so far.

“I… I cannot make you mine. I've dreamt of your eyes sharing the very yearning I've held in my heart. Your hands have held my own in a way that no one else would be able to. Yet, you know of my position. I cannot stay here.”

“I'm not trying to stop you, Kazuha, I was never going to stop you. I just want you. Have you thought of that?”

“I have thought of it–time and time again. That is entirely the issue, star.”

His hands left yours and gently cradled your jaw, enough for you to look back at his glimmering eyes and the aching sorrow filling his words.

“I cannot burden you with that unknowing of my presence. You deserve to belong in the arms of someone who can kiss you goodnight and stay to kiss you good morning.”

Your voice cracked, and you wondered how long he had rehearsed these words, this dialogue, in his head. For as much as you gazed your eyes over the letters you found, you never found the sad goodbye of what could have been lovers.

“I don't care about how long I will have to wait until I can see you again. Hell, I don't care if I don't see you for years! I just… I just want to be yours. I just want to know that I was yours. That you would think of me as yours.”

Kazuha’s eyes widened, and he struggled to find words to ease your heart.

“I…You have to understand, Kazuha. My heart will ache, regardless. Yet, do not leave me with the possibilities of what could have been. What we could've been.”

Kazuha paused to let your words etch itself onto his skin.

“I cannot burden you with me. However, I will be here in your arms for one night more. I will be yours tonight.”

You stayed silent, staring into his crimson eyes.

Oh, how love, burning with a passionate red, could leave such an aching pain in your heart. Love blends in with the blood pulsing through your veins; it becomes one with your blood. It creeps into the heart, and the heart bursts with desire; it is fueled with a purpose. But love could be very much fatal. Love will be stripped from your being; and when your heart deems it as necessary, it will burst out of your ribs, begging for it back.

Love is found in Kazuha’s crimson, knowing eyes.

“Kiss me.”

And love is found when he hadn’t hesitated to oblige to your request.

He kissed you so feverently, desperately holding on to your presence. His hands traced your cheeks, noted every mole, every single detail, until he could vividly recall your face behind his eyelids.

He felt your hands bring him closer, and felt your tears become heavier. Yet he knew he had no right to wipe them away when they were the reflection of his choices.

You tried to pull away, but he only pulled you back in. He kissed your cheeks, your nose, your temples. When his lips hovered over yours, he spoke.

“Find me once more, take me by the hands, and I promise to you I will kiss you with every single vow of staying.”

He leaned in even closer, and felt your breath on his.

“Will I be able to find you in every universe, Kazuha?”

“Absolutely. For if there is a universe without you, what is there for me to live for?”

He leaned to kiss you once more, and you let him. For you both know that he would leave without his heart in the morning; and that you would stay in your empty abode; your heart will burst to see a glimpse of a shadow that would never be yours.

mccnstruck

[thewriterg]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

pairing(s); thor odinson x fem!reader, loki layfeyson x fem!reader

summary; it was over in needed to be it had to be before you lost it before you couldn’t replenish your grip on the weight or was it already gone? —angstober day;11—

word count; 600+

warning(s); angst, one mention of women infertility, heart break, poly themes, reader is Mother Nature coded, and language

palylist; your face by wisp

A/n:—GIFs; @spookycora & @lokihiddleston— something short to get us warmed up

Loki knows he's done it, he knows there's no coming back from it deep down… but as the God of mischief he wouldnt take that answer there was a way that he would succeed in his task as he chased after you down the stairwell into the library that was once his that you now shared calling out your name

“Leave me alone Loki!” The echo of your hurt voice now bouncing off the wall of your ‘shared’ library you should've known, you should've known better to trust the Deity dressed in emerald green and God did it hurt your chest filled with dread it was heavy and once again you would continue to stress it, it hurt.

“Darling just listen-”

“NO! Great grief Loki i trusted you, after every instinct told me not to i did anyway, i am a fool” You started off strong until your voice reduced into nothing but a mutter and the raven haired prince attempted to take your hands in his resisting when you tried to pull away from him and the firm yet non injuring hold on your wrist and it stung him like nothing he’d never experience

“Why is it ALWAYS HIM!? Hmm? Why him love? The god screamed before bringing his voice down to a mumble as you struggled in his hold attempting to get away as far as humanly possible

“Brother! Let her go” The carried thunder and Loki glared at the blonde before going approach him with a malicious looking intent on his your body burned with a passion as you approached the brothers with thundering steps the currents of the winds becoming harsh on the outside

“Stop!” Your voice carries through castle and probably through the kingdom as well both of them looking like a kicked puppy at the stern, scolding, and coldness of your voice the life of the world slipping from your grasp it all hurt,

“Loki, it's not always Thor. You, you self sabotage because you think people will hurt you or abandon you… but you hurt the kingdom and you hurt me… Loki I thought the world of you” The prince heart broke in two at the sound of your voice that was full of emotion yet void of life and it stung his chest at the sound of his real name falling from your lips

“And Thor you don't have a balance in your life you choose every battle over what you claim as my my importance but I feel as nothing but a servant… This, this wont work it never has'” The brother stepped to you in protest that made you subconsciously take another back, away from the both of them

“That's not true little dove, we have succeeded we will continue to succeed” Thor denied reassuring himself more than he was reassuring you his icy blue eyed desperate for you to agree, begging for you to stay

“We love you darling” Loki stated firmly as if it was set written in stone for the next millenia to understand and study

“I want to believe you, but I don't.” That was it the hold of the earth was lost you hadn't had a grip on it any longer you felt the flowers wilting, the tree slouching, the soil becoming infertile as well as the women, you'd lost it lost your hold on humanity

Lost your hold on everything

©2023 thewriterg spooktober do not copy, translate, or modify.

[violet-1scrazy]

catch me if you can

pairings - ethan landry x reader

warnings - mentions of murder/violence

a/n - THIS IS MY FIRST FIC! i wrote this because i cant find any new ethan landry fanics😒 WAIT BC WHY DID I KIND OF EAT😛 anyways please send me tips and someone TELL ME HOW TO LET PPL SEND REQUESTS😫 anyways, thank you😘💕

* * *

the cold, night air tickled your skin as you walked along an empty nyc street. you shivered, the only thing your wearing is a tank top, jeans, and a thin cardigan.

you looked around, seeing how dark it actually is, all of the stores closed and there being no billboards or tall buildings at your location.

you thought about how easy it would be for ghostface to just pop out of a dark alley and gut you. your stomach turned even thinking about it.

you picked up your pace, your thought taking over your mind. you stopped in your tracks when you walked past an alley way and heard something crunch, like someone was stepping on something.

you looked down the dark alley, it only being lit by a dim light. your hands started to sweat, thinking about all of the possibilities of what could happen right now.

just as you were about to walk away, you saw a tall figure standing in the alleyway. it started moving closer and then your heart dropped. its ghostface.

you tried to run but the man in the costume pulled you into the alley and pinned you against the walk, his grip strong.

you tried to scream but his gloved hand covered your mouth. you tried to push him off but he wouldn’t budge. he wouldnt move so you punched his mask covered face, hard.

“ow!” the masked figure said, holding his jaw. you were confused when he started to laugh, your eyebrows scrunched. he took off his mask and you saw a familiar face, it was ethan.

“oh my god ethan!” you said, pushing him. he wouldnt stop laughing. “you’re such a dick!” you said, grinning and wiping your eyes. he looked up at you. you almost melted, looking into his dark brown eyes.

“im sorry.” he said, trying not to laugh. he kissed your forehead, relief washing over you. he took off his ghostface robe, him wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans. some of his brown curls stuck to his forehead from sweat. god if looks could kill, you’d drop dead.

he wrapped his arm around your waist and walked to your apartment with you. you leaned your head on his shoulder, glad you’re not dead.

[mx-darling-1]

I don't know if you're taking requests or not but if you are then could I get a wally x g/n reader who nearly passes out of being dehydrated and too hot?

This almost happened to me today (thankfully someone was around)

Please disregard if you find it triggering at all, have a good day

Absolutly! My requests are always open!

This was definitly a bit theraputic for me to write! I've struggled some with stuff thats caused me to be in that situation far more times then I'm proud of. Remember, always drink electrolytes if your going to be out in the heat! I'm no doctor but thats whats always helped me! TW: Dehydration, poor eating/hydration habits, and fainting/blacking out

Wally Darling X Dehydrated GN Reader A Summer Picnic

This was youre first summer in your new neighbor hood, and it was far hotter then anywhere youve ever lived. Usually as long as you wore lighter clothes you were fine in the summer. You often forgot to hydrate and sadly today was no different. You were in a pair of jean shorts and a tank top, something light for your picnic this afternoon. You were honestly excited, your first summer, and first date with Wally Darling. It is going to be absolutly amazing, at least thats what you thought. But, you hadnt eaten all morning so you would have an appetite for lunch. What you forgot to take into account was that you went to bed without dinner the night before simply because you were exaughsted.

Your date with Wally was going amazing y'all had been eating and chatting, a beautiful red blanket drapped across the perfect green grass. Being seated under the sun, you didnt even notice the heat against your skin or the sweat that began to bead off of you. You just happily chatted away with Wally, a bright smile on youre face. The two of you talked about anything and everything, but your vision began to get blurry. "Hey Wally, did we remember drinks?" Wally thinks for a moment before responding to you. "Oh dear, I can't believe I forgot! They are on the counter in Home!" You couldnt help but laugh gently, knowing that Wally meant no harm by this small accident. "Okay, then I'll go get it!" Without a second thought you stood up from the blanket and oh no.

Your vision begain to go black, white balls of lights appearing as your balance began to faulter. You didnt realize you were falling until you awoke in Wallys arms, him desperately fanning your face. "Neighbor! You fell over! Are you okay? Oh dear, we really must get you inside. I'm sure Home wont mind!" Wally stands up, you in his velvety arms. Thats something you dont know if youll ever get used to, he's almost two feet shorter yet can hold you with ease. Though...he eats with his eyes...so you suppose the size difference doesnt mean much here.

You didnt even realize you were at Home, so lost in your thoughts and stuggling to focus. You probably wouldnt have noticed if it werent for Wally speaking up. "Hello Home, please open up. Our dear neighbor fainted outside and I must get them cooled off." Home creaks with concern before opening its doors to let Wally get you inside. After only a few moments you were laying across Wallys couch, your date in the kitchen, although you arent quiet sure what he's up to. In fact, you had no idea until he walked back in. He was holding a damp towel; a bottle of water that seemed to be cold, well you assume so from the condensation; and he had a thermometer.

Wally walks right over to you and places the cold damp towel against your forehead. "Hey, do you know why you fainted like that darling?" Usually you'd be far more flustered from the nickname, but you were far to dizzy and exaughsted to pay that much attention. "Mm...I forgot to drink....I'm sorry Wally...I didn't mean to ruin our date." Wally shakes his head gently, handing you the cold water. "Drink up precious neighbor." You took the water bottle, opening it up and taking a few sips. Only once you took your first swallow did Wally began to talk again.

"You dont need to apologize to me dear. I still loved our date, and your health is more important to me then some picnic." Wally gently moves hair out of your face before placing the thermometor on your forehead. "I'll make sure you drink more from now on. I wouldnt want you to get sick or faint again like this. Especially if no one was there to catch you...oh dear well that would just be no good." The thermometer beeps and Wally checks it, a small sigh of relief leaving him as he puts it down on the stand beside the couch. "How....are you not mad at me?...I ruined our date..."

Wally cant help but shake his head, kissing your forehead before responding. "I would never be mad at you for something like this Darling. I doubt I could ever be angry with you for anything. I love you [Name], thats why I invited you on a date. If your health would make me upset with you, would I really love you?" You couldnt help but smile, leaning into Wally as he places a hand on your cheek. "Thank you Wally..." Wally strokes your cheek with his thumb, looking down at you adoringly. "Dont thank me dear neighbor, caring for you is a pleasure to me. Not a favor I'm doing, but something I do because I want to. Becuase I love you [Name], I truly do."

I hope you liked this chapter! I definitely enjoy writing Wally fluff, so I'm probably just going to keep requests open at all time! That way I can work on stories whenever! This request was really nice, but please make sure to take care of yourself!

[trahald-the-burrower]

Smeagol’s been through a lot physically. What illnesses and other health problems do you think he has? I’m really curious!

I've thought of this before, it's an interesting question!

I'll do a section for both books/movies, and then a section for only Jackson's movies. (i dont need to do a section for book-only because they overlap for that.)

---

BOOKS AND JACKSON'S MOVIES:

I think the Ring prevents him from suffering from major ailments, or at the least that even if he has them, he won't die from them as long as the Ring exists. I imagined it like the Ring allowed him to adjust and develop without dying. So even if he had severe upsets in the beginning, that would have killed him if he didn't have the Ring, he lived through them and his body then adjusted/adapted. (Poor fella)

I always figured he developed a highly acidic stomach to tolerate the raw meat that he eats, much like a carnivorous wild animal.

his physical endurance is incredible, he does better than Frodo or Sam, two rather healthy individuals, in that area. I would rule out heart issues.

Obvious things are hes suffering from dehydration, starvation. his nose runs a lot, he spits a lot, could say he has an overproduction of mucus but honestly i wouldnt say so, considering that does happen to most people when they're out in the cold and expending a lot of energy.

---

MOVIES-ONLY:

In the back of my mind, i assumed he might have some kind of dental issue. maybe gingivitis. His teeth were already starting to fall out before he even fully transitioned. I also noticed in The Hobbit that his gums have spots of blood on them and look quite swollen. but that could be because he's old, his sharp teeth poked his gums, and hes lost a lot of teeth. (honestly the fact that he has any teeth is a miracle, it's hard for me to even claim he has gingivitis, any ordinary person would've lost all teeth by this point nevermind someone with a dental issue)

an interesting thing was said by those working on the character in Jackson's version. "he's probably clinically dead!" a really interesting thought, but doesn't really hold up, dead things don't bleed or need to breathe. but it would make sense for his readings to be way off from an ordinary being.

He definitely has scoliosis. he doesn't seem to have arthritis, his fingers and toes are quite flexible.

---

SUMMARY:

so I guess to summarize all this I'd say he probably doesn't feel great a lot of the time but is able to push past the discomfort, partly because he's used to it and mostly because the Ring won't let him die (and also fuels him, what with his need for it)

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 16: WOOYOUNG

wc: 5242

warnings: mention of death, violence, drugs etc, SMUT

prev chapter

***

san

i remembered that wooyoung was afraid. he was scared of what would happen if miss A ever found out he shot mingi and deliberately antagonized a hotshot black dragon. looking back, i thought the black dragons would be anatagonized anyway because we caused shit in their side of town to get yunho back, it shouldnt be this big of a deal.

so why are so many bad things happening?

i didnt go to school today. i emailed all my teachers a forged sick note, claiming i couldnt leave the house because i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with sinisitic dizzy spells. most of my teachers are really helpful and good people, so they sent me the work they did for the day so i wouldnt miss out.

being a 'delight to have in class' aka a quiet smart kid who wasnt a pain in the ass had its perks sometimes. regardless, i used my morning to get all my money ready, of which i had just over enough to go to miss A to get her off my back.

when i get there, the place is crawling with old gangsters. miss A is screaming at people and when she sees me she's shocked, as if surprised i actually had guts to show my face. shes propped behind a round steel table in her garage, leaning back in her chair and the room goes silent as her eyes are on me.

"look who it is," she says to me, dipping her cigarette in her ashtray. "Lucky, you better have good news for me."

i bow to her and put the potato sack of money on the table. unfortunately i didnt have anything really fancy like a briefcase. im a fucking gangster on a budget.

she glares at me. "potatoes? is this some kind of joke?"

three guys restrain me out of nowhere, holding a knife under my throat. my breath gets stuck in my throat and i only manage to force out one thing. "m-money."

she doesnt tell them to let me go, which pisses me off. what the hell did i do to make her this mad? she lifts the opening of the sack and only when she sees the cash does she wave the gangsters to get off of me.

they drop me so hard i fall with my butt on the floor and i make no real move to get up in case they jump me again. instead i get to kneeling. "miss A, that's the money from all the dealings."

"i can see that. oh wow, you actually decided to be useful," miss A says, getting up and coming up to me. she puts her hand down on my hair and gently scratches it like you would a dog and i struggle to not show any fear. "if only wooyoung could be like you."

her words make me sweat. "where is wooyoung, miss A?"

i swear, if she laid a hand on him. i dont know what i would do, but no one here, including me, would be left alive.

her eyes darken. "i was actually hoping you would tell me, Lucky. your brother has become a magician. a cold case."

she doesnt know? did wooyoung actually skip town?

"i told him to bring me the hand of who killed my boys or else i would have his. he hasnt been back in days."

fuck. this is bad. im actually starting to get dizzy.

someone rolls into the garage, and my face drops in horror at the man and his disfigured, burnt face. hes in a wheelchair, an armbrace and has a bandage wrapped over everything but his mouth and eyes.

"you and your buddy got changbin and a lot of good boys killed. look what they did to seonghwa." miss A says.

that's fucking seonghwa? he looks fucked. hes never recovering. he wouldve been better off dead. now he really looks like something out of a horror movie, a real, terrifying disfigured butcher.

"that hongjong motherfucker," miss A laughs but there's nothing joyful in it. "he came into MY warehouse, burnt MY cargo, killed MY men. and all because he was looking for you two."

im struggling to breathe. i dont show it but im silently breaking down. i cant take my eyes off seonghwa. thats it? thats my future? i might as well kill myself. seonghwa killed yunho, he was one of the topdogs in the gang. im fucking nothing. if thats what that hongjoong guy could do to him then its over for me.

"he said that?" is all i can get out. miss A lifts my chin and forces me to look at her.

"you're not a boy anymore, Lucky. you'll always be a baby in my eyes, but its time for you to get serious, dont you think?" she tells me. "wooyoung is gone. so someone has to fix this. you know the rules, you make a mess, and you clean it up."

"miss A-" i start stammering. i feel like im going to cry. "we didnt do anything. we never even met that hongjoong guy. wooyoung shot mingi because he tried to kill him. it was in self defence."

"did i ask for an account of what happened?" miss A's voice drips with sarcasm. "i dont care who did what. but my boys paid the price. i wont let an attack on my turf go unpunished. you find wooyoung and you two will go and kill that fucker or i'll have you swimming in a fishtank with the rest of yunho. am i clear?"

fuck no. fuck my life is over. i just started having sex and now i have to die. this is a fucking nightmare.

"yes, ma'am," i nod my head. "when do you want this done?"

"before my boys suffer another attack. he wants you, so let him come."

"you won't find him," seonghwa says and he sounds like a lays packet trying to talk. his voice is raspy and sounds terrible. "he only shows when he wants to be found. and he wanted to be found that day. so make him come to you."

i dont want him anywhere near me! i want to scream. look at what the fuck he did to you.

i have to run away. i have to do it tonight. i have to take everything. i cant think clearly, my brain is beating so hard i can feel it in my ears.

i nod and get up and miss A distractedly starts counting the money. "so you got the money fast. i always knew you could do it, you were just lazy before, yeah?"

i had help, i want to say. yaera's stealing, her savings, wooyoung stealing all mingi's gambling winnings, fucking jongho. i couldnt have done this on my own. i would have been dead by the end of this month.

i did all that, just to stay alive. only to have another target on my head. this...it never fucking ends. its only going to get worse. i cant win. this game, its unbeatable.

i almost want to laugh out of pure irony. and yaera wanted me to ask miss A for a fixed amount. she wanted to help me pay off my dads bullshit debt. im never going to be free.

my hopes and dreams are gone.

"you still have your dad's gun right?" miss A asks me. i say yes in the smallest voice.

she smiles. "you better get to using it then, Lucky."

i leave miss A's garage with nothing left in the tank. nothing but another assignment. an assignment that will kill me.

im the sacrificial fucking lamb. why is she doing this to me? because she thinks i can do it? because she wants to get rid of me? i did what she asked of me. i got her yunho. i got her the drug money. now she wants me to kill an assassin? an assassin that already has a bodycount of seven?

and hes brutal. four of those were other gangsters, luckily none of those were ours at the time, but he guts every one of his enemies. he was connected to a murder of a prostitute. and cut out the stomachs and sliced off the hands of two guys who apparently looked at his sister.

what the FUCK am i getting into.

i get home and i dont know what to do. everything comes crashing down on me. i throw my fist into the picture frames on the wall, sending glass bursting everywhere. i look at the picture of my parents, feeling nothing but burning hatred. i hate them both. i hate my mother for leaving me behind in this shit life and i fucking hate that bullshit excuse of a sperm donor for killing me.

he killed me. he signed my death sentence.

i start tearing everything apart. im ripping my apartment to shreds because nothing matters. this is all useless, nothing, i wouldnt fucking miss this place. i have nothing but awful memories here. but my anger doesnt last. it comes crashing down so fast that im left to collapse next to my bed and i cant stop myself from crying.

its over for me. everything is.

i had nothing to begin with. nothing except...

without even thinking, my bleeding hand reaches for my phone on my desk and calls her. she picks up on the first ring.

"san?" her voice is comforting and i dont know why. i dont fucking know this girl. she doesnt know me. but shes all i have. and i dont even reall have her. "are you okay? you never call me."

i cant even speak, im heaving into the microphone and sniffling uncontrollably.

"san?" she sounds more concerned. oh shes concerned for me. thats nice. i'll remember how nice it feels when i die.

"c-can you come over, please?"

i dont even recognize my voice. its cracking and its like the pained whimper of an animal. she puts off the phone and i wrap myself around my bedsheets, curling into a pathetic ball.

shes here within 15 minutes. i dont know how she got here so fast. she was supposed to be at school. it was still one period before lunch. she must have been skipping. i wish i skipped more class now that i know im not going to live very long. studying all that shit was pointless. i should have been living like her. like i dont have a care in the world. but i cant. and i never could.

she walks into my apartment with her eyes wide, dropping her blazer off her shoulders and onto my dirty floor. "what the hell happened? are you okay?" she runs and puts herself infront of me.

"did someone break in?" she holds my wet face. i never stopped crying. not once. she looks horrified seeing me this way. i cant imagine how bad i must look. "oh my god."

she hugs me. she hugs me and i grip her so tightly till i feel my lungs tighten. the tears are pouring harder now. im staining her white blouse.

"im going to die," i choke out. "they're going to kill me."

"what?" she gasps. "who?"

i try to speak but i dont stop crying. this is fucking awful. she shushes me and lets me continue, rubbing my hair in the softest way that makes me hope i wont die, just so that i'd experience it more than once.

"im here, dont worry."

of course you are. you're always here. always invading my apartment. always working on my nerves. always in my head since i fucking met you. i wish i didnt take that for granted for as long as i did. if i knew this was all i'd have left.

i dont know what possesses me. i pull away from her, my hands drift up to the buttons of her blouse. im careful so she knows i wont hurt her the way he did. she watches my bleeding knuckles, looking at me with tender eyes. she doesnt stop me. i flick open the first button as she stands above me.

"can i?" i choke out. "this is all i have."

she starts removing her own buttons. "you dont even have to ask," she tells me.

she trusts me so much. if this is all i have left then i dont want to destroy it.

she drops her blouse, revealing her bronze, skin bare skin and black bra. the sun in my blinds isnt doing her justice. i reach behind her and unclip her bra and her boobs spill out right in my face. her skin is warm. shes so warm. she lifts my ugly brown hoodie off my body, trailing her hand down my stomach.

her touch feels like satin. i dont deserve it. she doesnt deserve this.

"i-i dont want to use you as a coping mechanism," i tell her but im talking to a wall. i dont want to but i am. im going to die and all i want to do is fuck her one last time. there isnt enough time in the world.

she kisses me sorely, with way too much emotion for what we really are. two broken, fragile people. we have no business with each other, but she kisses me like i mean something.

"for you, san, i'd let you use me however you want," she whispers against my lips. "as long as its you."

i feel my heart pain. i want to cry again but my dick is hard and i can only focus on two things at once. so i deal with my boner first.

i slide down her thin, pink underwear from under her skirt and it drops to her ankles. she steps out of it and pulls my sweatpants out from under me, immediately sliding herself onto my dick.

she moans softly into my ear and it feels like heaven. shes like heaven wrapped in one complicated woman. she could destroy me. she could ask to end me and i would let her.

i'd rather it be you than anyone else.

i grip her softly and my hands are stinging but i dont care. i feel weak. but somehow with her here, it doesnt hurt as much. shes riding me slowly, its crazy how without any foreplay shes already drenched down there. i guess she does like me a little.

she peppers kisses all over my neck as i hold her up, losing my mind as she slowly sinks and rises onto me. i never fucking liked our stupid school uniform but seeing it on her like this, with her on me, just makes me lose my mind. jongho doesnt fucking know what he missed out on.

"you know i care about you right?" she whispers into my ear. "its about more than just the money. you know that right?"

my lips her are on her chest and i kiss her there slowly. "i know," i mutter. actually i didnt know that. i dont know what the fuck she sees in a dickhead like me.

"good," she says, then pushes me down to my back. she adjusts herself to straddle me properly but i cant watch her struggle to please me. i get back up and flip her under me, pushing her back down gently when she tries to protest.

"but-"

"i want you to feel the way you make me feel," i say. and i never thought i'd ever utter words like that. fuck, no wonder everyone thought i was gay.

i drag my lips down her perfect, sculpted torso and plant them onto her shivering, wet hole. she whimpers weakly as i stick my tongue inside, slowly impaling her with it. i dont care that im taking my time honestly. im going to die, so i might as well make this as long as it can.

i drink up her bitter juices, lapping my tongue across her slit. the moans she lets out are otherworldly, definetely worthy of a noise complaint. i dont mind it. i feel useful for once in my life. i slowly inch a finger into her warm hole, sucking on her pleasure button while im at it. i'd call it her clit, but thats too rough for me.

"san please," she begs. "i want you so bad, just fuck me already."

i stop at her request, getting up and over her. i line myself at her entrance, pushing in slowly. she throws her arms around my neck and the eye contact we have as i just lay there inside her is enough to make me drop it all. i'd drop it all and leave with her, wherever she wanted to go.

her hole feels like home. my dick fits perfectly inside her. its warm and hugs me and i cant get enough of it. i push in and out slowly, taking in her eyes. they havent left mine. her lips are parted in bliss, and i decide to kiss them. she moans into my mouth, and it feels like a fucking spell being casted on me. i accelerate the pace, and the lewd sounds of her squelching and our breaths syncing up are all that can be heard.

it turns around so fast. im fucking into her at a pace thats desperate. like if i fuck her any slower, its going to get taken away from me. everything will. her legs are wrapped around my waist and she clenches on me, as if she doesnt want me to ever leave. i dig my fingers into her skin, holding onto dear life as i feel myself getting closer.

"wait," she breathes. "i wanna do it standing up."

i pause mid stroke. "how?"

"against the wall. lift me."

i go along with it. we get up and she lays with her back against the wall, lifting her leg so i can put it in. i pick her up and she slides onto me perfectly, and this new angle makes my brain go foggy. its so much deeper and tighter, i can feel her soak onto me.

i start ramming into her against the wall and her hair is hanging down her face, making her look like a sexier version of the grudge. she looks utterly lost in it all, and its so enjoyable to watch. i feel like im doing something right seeing her looked so absolutely fucked out.

my legs grow weaker as i hit her walls, feeling myself getting closer to the edge. shes demanding, with her legs wrapped around me she wont stop till ive been emptied.

"you're so fucking perfect," she whisper-whines, and its enough for me to blow. i completely blow inside her and she creams on me at the same time, our juices mixed together like some fucked up smoothie.

i drop her and she doesnt remove her arms from my neck. instead she pulls my body towards her, till we're chest to chest, completely naked amd kisses me harder than she ever has before.

this isnt even because we're fucking. she just wants to do it. and honestly, i needed it so badly.

when she pulls away im left yearning for more. it makes me sick. "thank you," i tell her. "i needed this."

"i know," she says softly. "tell me everything."

***

after i tell yaera everything, we're sitting on the bed beside each other, a painful, weighing silence between us.

"what are you going to do?" she asks, sounding hopeless.

"i have to kill the guy. or miss A's going to kill me."

"the police?" she says but knows immediately it wont work.

"i'd die before miss A sees trial," i laugh emptily. "and i'd go to jail for sure. she has enough on me to make sure i'm wanted."

she's frowning. she's realizing money cant buy my freedom. or my life.

"after you kill that gangster...nothing will be the same," she says. "you'd have blood on your own hands."

i shrug and stare out of my window. "it ends here, yaera. for both of us."

she stands up abruptly and looks like she wants to break into sobs. "no you can't disappear after this. i still need you."

i smile weakly. hearing that makes me feel better. someone will miss me.

"when i'm gone, you can have my apartment. i have some money left over here, maybe you'll be able to get away for good. you'll never deal with that freak again."

she's not happy with my answer. "no, san. i dont want you to go. i dont want you to disappear. cant we catch a one way flight? can't we run? i'll run with you. i promise."

she actually wants to stay with me. when i dont answer yaera bends down infront of me, holding my hands. i cant believe how quickly things turned around. i have so much to lose.

"when you finish your business, we're getting the fuck out of here, okay? promise me. i'll get the tickets, i'll get everything ready. but promise me you'll come back to me."

i cant promise that i'll be alive. i want to, but i dont want to lie to her.

"i cant promise i'll make it back, yaera," i mutter. a tear rolls down her face. "and even if we run away, is this really sustaintable?"

"is what?"

"us?"

she scoffs. "i dont think now is the time to think of what we are. i dont care about defining this relationship, thats not important. all i know is, you're all i have."

"you're all i have too." i whisper.

"thats enough for me. so promise?"

"okay, i promise."

"good, now lets clean up here and pick a place on the map."

yaera and i spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up my shattered apartment. i take my parents pictures and throw it in the spare room where i dont have to see it. when we're done, yaera makes herself at home and lays down in my bed watching youtube. i get dressed and she switches off her phone when she notices.

"where are you going?"

"remember those gangsters you met the night you followed me? im paying them a visit." i tell her.

"your dad's old gang...are you going to ask them to help you?"

"yeah. i wanna see if they've heard from wooyoung. get help where i can."

"okay. is it cool if i stay over?" she asks. "i dont feel like going home."

she doesnt even have to ask anymore. i say my goodbyes and make my way downtown.

getting into mao's place has always been shady, im surprised there are guys outside the door. they see me and are shocked to see me, letting me in and muttering shit in cantonese under their breaths.

i find mao sitting around a table and gambling and by god, i find wooyoung too.

he freezes when i see him and i have half the mind to beat the shit out of him. this is where hes been the whole fucking time?!

"sannie!" mao yelps with his cigarette dangling off his lips. "look we're finally good enough for him again! i heard you've been visiting everyone BUT me!"

i run across the room and catch wooyoung before he can run. then i pick him up and toss him into the closest wall. "you DICKHEAD!" i scream.

mao's men jump up from their seats and get between us. "woah woah woah!" mao shouts. "no fucking fighting under my roof! take that shit to the alley!"

"what the fuck man?!" wooyoung huffs. "arent you glad im alive?"

"you couldnt pick up a phone? you couldnt call me to let me know?" i snap. "i thought you fucking skipped town!"

"i had to toss my phone!" wooyoung stresses. "miss A is looking for me."

"i KNOW! I KNOW SHES LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE ITS BECOME MY PROBLEM, WOO!"

i start laughing hysterically. "we're fucked. we're both fucked because of you and i hope you know that."

wooyoung stands up, dusting himself off. he has a remorseful look on his face. fucking say something coward.

"i tried to keep you out of it," he admits shamefully. "i was gonna get it done."

"you were gonna kill hongjoong by yourself?" i scoff. "you'd be done for before you even do anything!"

"mao gave me a gun," woo says. i look to mao and he shrugs.

"you know about this?" i ask him.

"as long as he doesnt involve me, i dont mind helping out," mao says. "i dont want black dragons on this side of the world, but bae su ji is losing her touch."

"who the fuck is bae suji?" both woo and i ask angrily.

"Miss A."

"you know Miss A's government name?" woo questions. mao shrugs.

"we used to date in high school."

we're getting off track. im still fucking angry, i turn to wooyoung.

"so? let me hear this fucking plan of yours."

"i dont want you involved san. we cant both be dead."

it feels like my veins are going to pop. "she's going to KILL ME if i dont fucking do something about that hongjoogn fucker. he put seonghwa in a wheelchair and killed changbin. shes going to kill me if i dont get involved, woo, so just tell me the fucking plan."

"hongjoong's sister is getting married soon," mao interjects. "woo's gonna wipe him out there."

"and then im going to skip town for real," woo says with a dark look. "mao's arranged for me to go to hong kong. im gonna work for him there."

"you know who was also supposed to go to hongkong?" i laugh darkly. "yunho."

the room falls into uncomfortable silence aside from the sound of dominoes hitting the table.

"i'll be there, woo." i tell him. "im leaving town too."

"where are you going?" both mao and woo asks.

"im leaving with yaera," i answer woo only. mao is confused and wooyoung tells him its my girlfriend.

"you left Flor?" mao is shocked. i sigh remembering that yaera gave mao a fake name when she followed me. i dont dignify him with an answer.

"alright man," woo sounds defeated. "now you know. i didnt wanna keep in touch because i didnt want to make things worse."

"they're already bad, woo. you not telling me changed nothing."

ive calmed down significantly. i feel defeated but at least i know this bastard is alive.

"what about mingi?" i question. "he started this shit in the first place."

"im taking them both out," wooyoung says. "mingi's the groom. hongjoong's walking his sister down the aisle."

how convenient. two birds with one stone. now, how were we going to get out of it alive?

"WE, wooyoung," i correct him. "WE'RE taking them both out."

***

yaera

after i helped san clean up his rampage, i saw something interesting in his spare room.

i stare at the daewoo k5 in my hands, i never realized san was the kind to keep guns. with the way he lives, i guess i shouldnt be surprised. he needs it more than anything.

something dangerous popped into my mind when looking at it. the first thing i thought of was wiping santo off this earth.

wouldnt i be doing a good deed? taking that rapist, pedophile and fucking freak off this planet?

he called me again. from a different number. i never pick up unknown IDs because of him. but i picked up this time, and all i heard was him breathing harshly.

"i dont like being ignored, yaera. it hurts my heart. you dont want to know how i act when im hurt."

i wonder if yasmine found out, and thats how she ended up where she did.

i know he wasnt anywhere near her when she died, but the thought that he touched her the way he touched me...the fact that she enjoyed it. it was driving me insane. i feel myself losing it with every single thought that flashes by me.

i just want to leave. i want san to finish up his business, come out alive and free me from this place.

we decided on soroa, cuba. europe wouldnt be a good place for us to start over in. latin america would be fresh. its going to be better.

i tried to keep busy but my stomach ached for san. with every apartment i looked at, every beach and every municipality i imagined living in, i had a thought of san never seeing it. i feel so fucking helpless.

i cant fix any of this. i never could but ive never felt this cornered before now. if anything happens to him, i know im going to end up in a ward. i cant leave this place without him when he helped me get to this point.

my parents have left me so many missed calls. so have irina and claire. none from anya? thats weird. she always leaves me the most calls.

i decide to call irina back. i havent heard from them aside from drug related business so it'd be nice if she could take my mind off the fuckery thats been taking place. they always have the most interesting things to tell me. vacationing in saint tropez, partying in monaco, i'd love them to tell me about cuba.

irina picks up first ring. "hey girl–"

"you fucking bitch," she snares at me. i jolt up from the bed at her tone.

"hello?" i repeat in confusion.

"anya is DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

fire creeps up on my skin. it feels like all my hairs raising.

"w-what?"

"she fucking mixed whatever pill you gave her and she threw up all over herself. we fucking rushed her to hospital and she didnt make it!"

this has to be why my parents called me. oh my god. oh my god anya's dead.

"i dont know what you mean," is the first thing i say. probably not the best thing but its the first thing i could get out. there has to be people around her right now. i cant risk it.

"now you dont know what im talking about?" irina snaps. "you fucking killed her."

"anya has a history of drug abuse, irina. why are you blaming me for this? im sorry for what happened but dont call me with this bullshit ever again."

i quickly put off the phone and start hyperventilating. fuck this is a mess, my parents probably found out. they probably know. if i go home im screwed. i cant go home, they'll keep me there.

how do i stay out of this. i know i cant go to jail, none of them have any proof that i dealt them drugs. not a single shred of evidence. there are the cellphone records, but those calls cant get traced back to me. the phone's too old. i need to stay away from them.

i have to fix this, somehow. i cant unload it on san he has enough on his plate. but it sounds like ive made an enemy out of the closest thing i have to friends. i dont know what to do.

i look at the gun on my lap. i have to finish the story.

***

next chapter

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