#i thought i should finally do this

[brightestorangedawn]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* About Me ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Hi, I'm Beth! I'm in my 20s and I live in Australia (so imagine everything I say with an Australian accent). I'm incredibly, incredibly shy, so if we're mutuals chances are I do really want to talk to you, but I'll almost never make the first move.

I wouldn't say this is primarily a Star Wars blog but it does take up a big chunk of my attention on here ngl. I'm primarily interested in prequels stuff, and primarily in Anakin/Padmé, but I do also really love the OT too, although I don't really write about it.

Other stuff about me is I really love art (although making it is absolutely not my skillset), I love books (especially narrative non-fiction), and I really love to analyse and pick things apart (in a good way).

I'm not really into any other fandoms in the way I'm into Star Wars, but I am a very big NGE enjoyer (if you couldn't tell from the pfp), a big Dune enjoyer and honestly just a very big 80s sci-fi in general enjoyer.

I'm not sure what else to write here to make this interesting so I'll just tell you some random things about me like the fact that I'm scared of carpark elevators and I really love mustard and my favourite book in the whole world is The Shining and my favourite painting is Circe Invidiosa by John William Waterhouse.

I'll put my masterlist of fics below (and then watch as I forget to ever update them). I really like writing character study stuff, or about love and obsession, grief, loss, mourning, being doomed to the narrative, the burden of power - I don't tend to ever write very happy endings (sorry). 99.99% of the stuff I write is either about Anakin or directly from his perspective because he's my favourite and also the easiest for me to write <3

If you read my stuff on Ao3 a while ago and wondered where it went, well ... all I can say is that it's back.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Masterlist ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

One-Shots

First Time/Last Time

Summary: Cool evening mist on the lake outside, fireplace warmth turning the sitting room golden.

Her veil on the floor, her dress on top of it.

'Do you trust me?' he asked.

'Of course.'

'Do you love me?' he asked.

'Even more so.'

---

The first time Anakin and Padmé sleep together, then the last time.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Tip of the Tongue

Summary: On Naboo, Padmé shares her favourite dessert with Anakin. Vader is haunted by the memory of it.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé and Vader/Padmé

Rating: T

(personally my favourite thing I've ever written heheh)

What's In a Name?

Summary: Anakin and Padmé try to decide on a name for their unborn child. However, they know that whatever they choose there is one name the baby can never have: Skywalker.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: T

How Will I Let You Slip Through

-

Summary: "Don't grow up too fast, my son.” She murmured it into the gold of his hair.

But as much as she could want it, as much as she could will it, she still couldn’t stop him slipping through her fingers.

Four little interconnected stories about Skywalkers facing big moments of their lives over tea, caf, and (of course) blue milk.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé, Vader/Padmé , Luke & Owen, Anakin & Shmi

Rating: G

I Dug a Grave For You

Summary: I dug it with my own hands, no help from the Force at all. Nothing to make the task easier, nothing to make the task more bearable. Just the sound of the shovel cutting into the soft sand, moving it aside, throwing it over my shoulder. Over and over again, a rhythm, a song, a hymn, a dirge.

Pairing: Anakin & Obi-Wan

I wanted to feel every second of it, every moment of pain and discomfort. Some sort of penance for what I did to you. Some sort of way to say I’m sorry.

---

In the aftermath of the duel on Mustafar, Obi-Wan escapes to Tatooine to live a life full of shadows and grief.

Rating: T

Multi-Chapter Fics

Cestrum Nocturnum

Summary: Summer on Naboo, the Clone Wars have yet to begin, and Anakin is tasked with protecting Senator Amidala after an attempt is made on her life. It's too bad that every moment with her has him in agony, and every moment apart is even worse—especially after that night in the courtyard ...

Or: Anakin spends a torturous time on Naboo in the company of the person he loves because he doesn't know how to tell her his true feelings.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/2

The Grove of Silver Leaves

Summary: In 1890, Anakin is an artist, apprenticed to the wealthy Sheev Palpatine. He meets Padmé at a party and she quickly becomes his muse. Of course, Anakin falls desperately in love with her—it’s just too bad she’s married to someone else.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/?

A Changing Fate

Summary: During the Clone Wars, Padmé nearly dies, and in a moment of impulsivity, the secret of Anakin’s marriage gets revealed to the Jedi Council. Not a lot goes to plan for him after that.

Or: Anakin learns what is really important to him. It’s not always what he thought it would be.

Pairing: Anakin/Padmé

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/15

[aria-greenhoodie]

You see, @localcanadiancryptid22, I’m a motherfucker who LOVES drama, so I fw anything that can create that.

I’m normal. Btw. In case you were wondering.

[purarupu]

「 kafhime: four seasons with you 」

[applestorms]

L can be such a possessive character at times. he always strikes me as the type of person who is deeply aware of everything that he owns, both in a more literal sense and metaphorically-- like, he knows what money he has and how to use it, what resources are readily available to him and what he has to be sneakier to utilize, the habits and tendencies and emotional states of individuals and world governments both. the DN musical really puts an emphasis on the more computer-y aspects of how his brain functions, which isn't as obvious in the manga/anime but i think still works well as a way to follow his thinking. it's kinda what near does too: everything is a factor to them, every tiny detail a new opening to optimize for the best results, every person and location and object a part of a puzzle waiting to be solved. and as a part of that, L is deeply aware of every and any little thing he may or may not have control over, and exactly to what degree.

his habit of stealing titles as depicted in the LABB murders novel is such a good example of this. ryuzaki, eraldo coil, deneuve. he eats people alive and then takes their names for himself like some kind of fucked up fae or trickster god, creating new masks and personas to hide behind from the remains of the people he's devoured. i have to wonder if he would've used the title of KIRA for himself had he won-- i can hardly imagine what kind of power such a title could hold if held in his hands. of course, he could've just used the defeat of KIRA as a way to build up the L title even further, offering up the body of a dead god like perseus showing off the head of medusa. but L is so emotionally attached to the kira case, i struggle to see him allowing it to fade from existence so thoroughly as near does, even if it is only kept close on a private level...

this is part of why i think it genuinely makes a lot of sense that L's ultimate win state would include capturing light to some degree. even if the memory of KIRA somehow manages to fully disappear from the public consciousness, there is no fucking way L is letting light yagami out of his grasp. honestly, the moment that L truly loses this game is not when he starts investigating misa while still under rem's watch, not when light gets back his memories, not even when he dies, but the moment when he allows light to be freed from the handcuffs. the moment when he allows the other members of the task force to turn off the cameras and keep him from watching light and misa talk in the lobby. the moment when he gives up, lets light yagami go outside of L's personal sphere of control, is the moment when L starts the clock ticking down to the end of his own life.

this is one of the key ways in which i see light as a true equal and parallel to L, as after L's death he, intentionally or no, continues the same tradition and takes L's title for himself, twisting the two sides together into the L-KIRA amalgamation. only, the L title functions a little bit differently than every other persona or title that we see in the series-- because L's true name is L. that's all that he is. on a literal, legal, and emotional level, i don't think that L is anything more than L. he is the world's greatest detective, he's an incredible, weirdo super genius, but he does not afford himself much more than that, barely allows himself personhood or humanity outside of his work. light was the one to ultimately defeat L because he did not just put a stain on his character (as BB attempted), did not just kill him, but stole his very identity and took it for himself.

one of the biggest contradictions of L's character that i think you must accept should you attempt to portray him accurately is that he is both deeply detached from humanity while also having all of his work and effort and life be focused around saving it. it's one of the ways in which he is an exact opposite to light-- where light relies on humanity for external validation, to be Seen, while also looking down on it as dumb and immoral and spineless, L is so separated from it that he barely exists as a person, all the while dedicating almost every action he takes to helping it. remember: for all the emotional turmoil that wammy's house and the legacy of L may put on the kids living there, ultimately it's entire existence is nothing more than L's logical solution to his potential demise. if he dies, the world goes down with him, all of the cases that are yet to happen and he is yet to solve being left in the air. he has the foresight to set up a fail safe, but not to consider the emotional implications of what being that fail safe might feel like, how high the price of your own humanity is if you are not already alienated from it, the inability to have your own name on your gravestone-- though perhaps some of the blame also falls on watari's shoulders in this case, philanthropic old bastard that he is.

imo, playing his game really got it right in presenting L and light as one and the same, synonyms on either side of the mirror. in every action they take they are both so selfishly selfless, playing the game for themselves and their own pleasure but plastering the needs and will of humanity on top of it. L isn't invested in saving humanity for the sake of humanity-- he just likes the thrill of having the stakes raised so high. hard to shit on ryuk for wanting entertainment when the humans he finds are just the same as him.

[magicandmundane]

Something something Clone Force 99 breaking binders in every season finale

[alea-jottun]

As a S1 Caitvi casual enjoyer and S1 Jayvik shipper, S2 reminded me of why I usually DO NOT want my ships to become canon.

Also, the extreme arcane S2 defenders are annoying. It's fine if you liked S2, great for you, but it doesn't change the fact S2 couldn't follow the most basic writing principles and gave up on everything S1 stood for. (Side note, I don't think you realize how good you have it, with the criticism being contained in one tag : back in my days, media criticism was in the same tag as the media itself, so you were forced to see it even if you just wanted to casually enjoy fandom productions.)

Also, most people here (rightfully) complain about the treatment of Cait, Vi and Jinx, but I do not see many posts about how the writing fundamentally betrayed Mel, Jayce and Viktor too. Might post about it later.

Honestly at this point, I am not sure I like Arcane anymore. Thinking about it doesn't bring me the joy it used to.

[azadrithaanatheme]

Unexpected Reunion, Part 2

part 1 | part 2 - Click the images for better quality

*points at Nori, Yeva, Khan, and Yeva's husband (who I'm calling Alexei because other people call him that and I like the name)*

"Old. Married. Polycule."

[claitea]

i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them

[breadandlottery]

[epickiya722]

Okay, I read what I can from the epilogue and I just want to put out that I'm not saying I'm right about anything I say here because it's not an official release and I read from fan translations.

『Also refer to this post and this one!』

So, again, I was right about Ozawa meeting Yuji again and they have a little heart to heart.

Talking about snow, what they're doing in the same place, bit about Shibuya, it was cute.

But the ending of it was more open ended (which isn't something I hate to be honest).

Before anyone goes "Oh, they pulled a MHA 431, it's so homophobic", I get that it might feel that way but... in no way did Yuji express anything romantic to Ozawa, let alone any kind of feelings for her. Like, let's take a step back FOR ONCE and analyze what's up here. Here, take my hand. Come on and follow along with me.

If anything, from his side, he thinks she is a cool girl. However, he still barely knows her and I doubt him if confessed to he would be like "Oh, I like you like that, too, Ozawa! Let's date!" She's, at best, an acquaintance. Someone in passing, someone he did go to middle school with.

So, her epilogue isn't even homophobic. At best, it's once again just Ozawa being all starry eyed over Yuji who doesn't know how she feels.

It's actually sad when you think about it.

In no way is her feelings are mutual. If Yuko was looking for love, Yuji may not be that person for it. I get it, sometimes you'll have feelings for the one person who was nice to you, but that doesn't mean it will be the only person.

Yuko being too busy hung up on Yuji may have missed a person who likes in the way she likes Yuji. What if there was someone else who did pay attention to the way she writes? Who did meet her at some point and got to know her and liked her for who she was?

And if not that, Yuko should have took Yuji's words to heart and realized how great she is and learn to love herself a little more.

The thing about the middle school flashback I feel, isn't just a flashback about her, but also to show the kind of person he is.

It shows that he's attentive and thoughtful. But also that his actions tend to be swayed by other people, even forcefully. Which happens often for Yuji. He told those boys he didn't like anybody and when asked again if he had to choose, he choose someone who he thought was a neat person. Those boys forced Yuji to give another answer despite him saying he didn't like anybody the first time.

If anything, that flashback serves as a more gentle example of who Yuji is contrasting to Rin, another person who knew Yuji when he was a middle schooler (Rin is actually older than Yuji). In Rin's flashback, we see Yuji defend a kid that was being picked on.

Yuji was being attentive, he didn't ignore a kid being bullied. He stepped up and told them to leave him alone and when they didn't and decided to charge at Yuji, he was then forced to act violently. In turn, Rin was left with the impression he had of Yuji, just as Yuko was.

Bringing up the snow bit, it was cute. I liked it! Yuji being compared to snow. But this is not the first time someone has came across Yuji and thought of snow.

What was the incident they bring up this chapter? The Shibuya Incident, right. And who did Yuji have to fight and had cowering by the end of it? Mahito, yes, him. And other than a wolf, what else did Mahito imagine when he became fearful of Yuji? SNOW!

So like with Rin, Mahito's perception of Yuji is opposite of Yuko's. She got to experience a gentle side which she admires. Rin and Mahito got his violent side, which they feared.

With all that being said, even with this epilogue ending the way it did, it doesn't smell "canon" to me. Especially, on Yuji's end of things.

Yuji may have a type of girl he likes, but he is also someone who doesn't express romantic interest in anybody.

While this is Yuko's epilogue, I do feel like she is also just another character to showcase the kind of person Yuji can be. She being present shows a gentle side of him while characters like Rin and Mahito shows his violent side.

And no, again, I don't think this means they're canon. So I beg, certain shippers who like the same ship I do, don't jump on Yuko, Yuji or Akutami for thinking this is some homophobic chapter when the romance between a girl and a boy here once again went nowhere.

It really didn't feel like Akutami-sensei was really trying to make them canon. And given the track record of F/M ships in this series? Yeah... no...

[indilaras]

it's mira loving hours <3

(you check the clock. all the numbers have been replaced with 'mira loving hours')

Aro and Ace colors bonuses:

[winged-bat]

Watching your sister slowly deteriorate before your very eyes and desperately chasing after a way to make things better to the point of damning yourself to the very thing causing all of this (werewolfism). Ending up killing her then slowly losing it trying to escape the same fate with only the figment of her memory following you (hallucinations). Being trapped and not being given the relief of death because you are nothing but a thing to be used. Stuck in a way that will forever haunt you.

[sugarcarnation]

love love love how similar these two panels are. makes me insane

[mbat]

i yet again do NOT understand why people think that what happened to steven in future came out of nowhere. the main show beats it into the ground how fucked up all this stuff has him! just cause he ends the main show in a good place doesnt mean that everything was solved! he solved the gem stuff but not himself, that was the whole point!

like. those people show that they didnt even pay attention to the show AND they dont understand trauma. like. shut the fuck up !!!!

[a-caterpillars-world]

The Chariot and his entourage

[I] [II] [III] [IV] [V] [VI] [VII]

[forgettable-au]

I'm very sorry for this but I may not be able to post the pages tomorrow, maybe sunday?

I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE THIS BUSY?? BUT I'LL POST THEM WHEN I CAN

Hopefully after this we can go back to the regular schedule 😭