#i thought i am growing out of fandom with how i haven’t been looking for shippy stuff lately but it’s really just had been

[yuzuria]

fandom gay ships characterisation in the past: seme always asserts himself to the uke without his consent, “your mouth says no but your body says otherwise” type of shit

fandom gay ships characterisation today: seme is the man/husband and uke is the woman/wife who is soo girl coded and gets bred and pregnant all the time

[sleepiexx]

Something He’d Overheard

James Potter x fem!Reader

Note: I’ve been in the marauders fandom for over 7 years now, I think it’s high time I write a fic for it. Part of my efforts to branch out into writing for more fandoms than COD.

Summary: James finds himself head over heels when he sees you defending a first year student.

Warnings: some curse words here and there, bullying mention, overall rlly soft

Word Count: 1151

After countless fictional characters and random strangers on the street with pretty faces catching his burning ire, anyone who knew James Potter knew good and well that he was a lover. He had long believed in love at first sight, merely seeing someone eye-catching often sparked thoughts of budding romance, fantasies of how they would love and what their relationship would look like amongst other things. Soulmates and fate were a big concept to him too, for example his favorite book character, a headstrong witch who was kind and brilliant, well James had a hunch that in another life they were lovers.

He’d fallen in love just about a million times, and yet something about you was different.

You had caught James’ eye one day as he made the trek to the library to collect his good friend Remus for their group’s usual night’s worth of mischief. Your beautiful eyebrows were pinched together in anger, a sneer on your pretty lips, your voice was loud and firm as you scolded one of the usual culprits (a death eater in the making) for bullying a defenseless first year student.

Your hand clutched your wand intently as you damn near hissed the words, “you wanna try picking on someone who can actually fight back?”

They let out a scoff and left the scene, leaving you, the first year, and unbeknownst to you, James.

The switch between standoffishness and caring came like whiplash. Your tensed frame relaxed as you knelt down in front of the first year (those eleven year olds seemed to be growing shorter and shorter every year). Your dominant hand reached out and gently wiped away the younger child’s tears.

“Everything he said is bullshit,” you began, “he’s angry at the world, looking for someplace to fit in, and unfortunately it’s really easy to fall into the wrong crowd. You haven’t, and he’s jealous of that.”

The kid sniffled, pout still indented firmly on their little lips, “who would be jealous of me?”

You shook your head in disbelief, “plenty of people! You have a gift that a large part of the world’s population doesn’t possess, that’s something to be proud of no matter what other witches and wizards try to tell you. Heck, I’m even jealous of you.”

As you spoke a smile crept its way on the first year’s face, “you are?” They asked.

“Yeah, I am!” You nodded, “you’ve got six and a half more years left at Hogwarts to have fun and run about the castle, I only have another year and a half.”

“This place is pretty cool,” they muttered.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Your face lit up and you stood to your feet, offering the small child your hand so you could walk them back to their common room. You’d never seen the awe-stricken onlooker, but the scene was now burned into James’ mind.

It followed him to the library, where he convinced Remus to follow him to their other friends, a long walk that Remus spent listening to James drone on and on about you. It followed him to his dorm that night, and every other night for weeks leaving the marauders to know every single detail about you. And it most especially followed him to each of the classes you had together where James would stare at you and admire your appearance while daydreaming about you.

It was the third time that week that the scene had followed him to the lunch table when Sirius slammed his palms on the table, “I’m putting an end to this nonsense right now. You either talk to her, Prongs, or I will. And trust me, you won’t like how in depth I will go about those daydreams you’ve been having where-“

Sirius couldn’t even finish his sentence with how fast James jumped in, “alright, alright! I have potions with her next, I’ll talk to her, I swear.”

The statement leaves the marauders satiated in conversation as they finish up their lunch and head to their classes.

In potions, James nearly decides to abandon ship, facing a new anxiety he’d never experienced before when dealing with a girl. He decides that maybe it would be best to keep to himself, too afraid to stumble on his words and make a fool of himself in front of such a pretty girl. All this is until Professor Slughorn proclaims that today’s assignment requires a partner. If there ever was a time to shoot his shot, it’s now.

He takes deep breaths, adjusting his posture and forcing his every step to radiate confidence before he reaches you, “I was wondering if maybe you’d like to be my partner?”

You smile, “I’d love to! Fair warning, though, I’m not the best at potions.”

James bursts out into a giddy grin, “I’m willing to pick up the slack.”

“Unfortunately, I bet I’ll make you eat your words,” nonetheless you collect the ingredients as James collects the supplies.

When everything is together, James reads off the instructions. You follow them with great care, not wanting to make a fool of yourself in front of your new, devilishly handsome potions partner.

You make to slice open one of the ingredients, as the instructions called for, but your knife slips, sending the damned thing hurdling straight towards your face. You close your eyes, bracing yourself for an impact that never comes, reopening them only to be met with the sight of the back of James’ hand.

“Holy shit,” you curse, “did you just catch that?”

James nods, almost surprised at himself.

You shake your head in disbelief, “if you weren’t such a good chaser, I’d suggest you take up seeking.”

Your statement renews James’ confidence, so you’d noticed him too?

“Can I show you how to cut it?” He asks, a smile on his face.

You nod, watching his hands intently, confused when he disappears behind you. You quickly piece together what’s happening when he grabs your hands with his own, handing you the knife and positioning you so that you slice through the ingredient like it’s nothing.

“Great job!” James praises, even though it was him that had done all the work.

You still take the compliment, grinning from ear to ear as he tosses the final ingredient into the potion, creating the rich purple color you were striving for, “we make a really good team, Potter.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks, “well what do you say we see if we make as good of a couple?” You feel blood rush to your cheeks, James further clarifies “Hogsmeade this weekend? Just you and me?”

And you nod eagerly, “I would love that.”

If Sirius thought James asking you out would be the solution to him raving on and on about you all hours of the day, he was sorely mistaken and he was about to figure that out as soon as James stepped into the common room.

[clawsdevour]

mornings w you

wc: 1.2k content warning: established relationship, smut, creampie, praise, one shot, not proofread, multi-fandom x reader, aged up

note: this is like my first finished short smut so i wanted to keep it very simple and basic and vanilla ig.. BUT I HOPE U ENJOY THIS SHORT ONE SHOT !!

 ﹗ ⟢ ◦

You’re in your shared bed, just woke up, laying under the covers. You look at the clock to see what time it currently is, to see that it’s 8:48 in the morning. Usually you wake up at 9 AM to start your day off. You thought to yourself, if it’s currently 8:48 AM that means that he should’ve already arrived at his workplace. You looked to your right and realized he’s snoozing soundly right next to you. You thought to yourself in shock because it wasn’t his day off and usually he’s working so you never wake up to the sight of him sleeping peacefully in bed.

You thought to yourself while staring at his perfect face, how did you bag this man and make him your husband? His chest slowly rose up and down as he breathed and the light hitting his torso in ways that makes him look like he was sculpted. Your thoughts circulated when he moved and put his arm on top of your legs. The warmth that he embraced with you, made you happy that he was a bit late for work.

“Don’t go.. I miss you” he whispered grumpily with his deep morning voice you haven’t heard in a while. Oh, you missed his sleepy husky voice so much. You smiled slyly and ran your hand through his hair until his face shifted upwards to look at you. His heavy eyes opened and stared into yours, letting out a smirk from his right corner. 

“It’s currently 8:57 babe, you’re so late for work you know that?” you told him quietly almost shushing him knowing how tired he is, still stroking his hair. Your growing sigh of concern was about to be let out when he replied.

“It’s just one day, when can I ever have my hair stroked by you in the morning again? I miss you and your touch. I crave your affection.. It’s been so long since we had our own time together,” He said whilst closing his tired heavy eyelids. This surprised you a bit because he was right. You wanted him so bad.. especially since how long it’s been since you’ve had him thrust into you.

He looks back up at you and plants a kiss on your lips. You can’t help yourself as you melt into his kisses. The kisses he peppers onto you drove you insane, your face start to flush a bright red hue. At this point, he’s dominating you, putting himself on top of you while your head is between his arms. His neck kisses led to him putting his right hand under your shirt, teasing your breast. You let out little moans and whimpers as you feel his dick start to grow as he grinds in between your legs exuding his heat.

“Aah.. please give me more..” you start to let out words that make up sentences throughout the pleasure being released through the teasing and grinding.

“Please? What do you want me to do?” he taunts you with a smirk that you can feel start to appear around the nipple his lips were attached on.

“I want you.. now. I can’t wait, I need you in me” you start to plead. You want his fingers touching your damp panties, especially more like, in them. You crave him so bad you couldn’t wait any longer and he knows it.

“Say less.. let me hear those pretty moans you make, loud and clear for me” he backs off and pulls down your panties you slept in, making you gasp out of shock. The sudden act immediately made you flinch as the cold morning breeze touches down on your wet cunt. The slick on his fingers makes you let out a small yelp when he puts his two fingers in. The pleasure you felt from his two long fingers was good, but not as quite as when he puts his thick cock in you. You can’t help yourself but let out those moans he so wanted to hear.

“Is this what you wanted babe? Or do you perhaps want more than this?” he starts to pick up the pace making you start to breathe heavily as he quickly goes in and out of your soaking wet pussy. You can’t help yourself as you start turning into a moaning mess, even without his dick.

“Cum on my fingers, I know you can do it. You’ve been waiting so long and patiently for me huh..” Those four words made you tense and arch your back further into the sheets. The sounds your sopping drenched cunt were so erotic you needed to hear what it’d sound like with his dick.

“I.. I’m cumming!! It feels so good. I want more baby please..” You mouthed breathless as your hearts beats crazily. He pulls his fingers out of you and licks the cum off his digits. 

“You taste so good baby, I can't get enough of you. You did so good for me. Are you ready for the grand prize hmm?” He takes his raging boner out of his grey sweats and the moment your eyes landed on his cock, your mouth started salivating. At this point you just wanted to take all of it in one go. Oh how you missed feeling full of his cock.

“Just put it in me. Right now,” you muttered and he complied. He shoved all of his length in one go making you groan as you adjust to his large size. It was so big and the fact he put it all in on one go made you start to tear up. He noticed this and gave you a forehead kiss making sure you weren’t seriously hurt as he started to slowly rock his hips into you.

“You okay baby?” he whispered into your ear, still a bit raspy and husky. You nodded and whimpered at him to start moving. His quick but sloppy thrusts sent you into an orbit, especially when he put his thumb on top of your clit. Rubbing it in slow circles, stimulating your pussy in ways you didn’t think could be stimulated. The inhumane sounds made by your skin slapping against his aroused you even more, creating more of your essence to seep out of your wet cunt.

“You feel so good around my cock, you keep squeezing me so tight I feel like it’s gonna snap in half inside you” he whimpered out while looking into your dazed eyes with a slight curve in his smile.

“I’m.. c-cumming! I’m gonna cum.. You feel so good inside me..” you were at your climax. You felt your abdomen start to bubble and build up that pent up tension, ready to be released.

“Cum for me. Show me how good you feel.. Hnngh..” he started to thrust deeper and faster. You both were at the home stretch chasing after your release. The slapping echoed, same as your loud groans mixing together, the erotic wet sounds coming from your pussy. That was until you felt your release, letting out the loudest moan your bedroom was able to echo off the walls. He shot his cum deep into your pussy and collapsed on your chest. The sounds of the bed sheets shifting, the loud heavy breathing from climaxing. You stroked through his hair one last time as his cum started to slowly seep out of your pussy, remnants that showed that you were his.

“Maybe I’ll call in sick today, you’d like that wouldn’t you” he murmured, about to doze off while looking at your gorgeous breathless face.

*.༄ TETSUROU KUROO, MIYA OSAMU, HAJIME IWAIZUMI, SATORU GOJO, ITADORI YUJI, FUSHIGURO MEGUMI, KAMO CHOSO, SUNA RINTARO, KEIJI AKAASHI, DILUC, HAWKS (ALL AGED UP/POST-TIME SKIP), and of course any of your favorite characters!!!

masterlist here

[bubblybloob]

Hey, so this kind of turned into a vent. Be wary going in, but it’s important if you engage some with my stuff. I think I’ve been thinking about it more as btg has become more active, and wanted to get it all off my chest.

I’ve wanted to bring this up for a while now, after my popularity grew. I’m sure some people have noticed my lack of joy at the 500 followers milestone, and the 600 one, but it’s a bit more complicated than on the surface.

So, there was something I haven’t really mentioned. It wasn’t ever really a secret, I just didn’t feel it was important, and was always taught it was dangerous to talk about and to dance around the subject if brought up. But I’ve noticed that the people on Tumblr find this kind of important to know when interacting. I know people on here can get really hostile, and this kind of became a secret because of that. I don’t know if it’s bad that I haven’t said anything or not, but I thought I should still make a post anyway.

So, I’m, in my country, since I know it might be younger or older in other places, a minor.

Okay most important stuff first. Yes, I’ve said or drawn mildly suggestive stuff, that’s mostly because I’m very unaffected by it and find it more amusing (I might be a little ace idk), though I do purposely keep stuff I make mostly tame simply because like- still technically a kid. I’ve seen stuff far more suggestive from afar before and just nod and say “mm, yes, that exists” and indifferently move the hell on with my life.

Being part of the STP community has been really strange for me and not all in good ways. I hate hate hate people looking up to me, or being jealous, or having anxiety talking to me because- in my head- I’m just doing everything and talking to everyone I can because I like making stuff and talking to people, and I feel so uncomfortable up on this pedestal where I’m held so high, but if I make one wrong step I’ll have tomatos thrown at me. It’s a really claustrophobic and isolating position and feeling and it makes me feel sick, anxious, stressed, and really really scared.

I like the community I’m in and friends I’ve made, but I’m really afraid I’ll say something unusual or wrong or maybe even offensive since I don’t know everything I’m supposed to say or do. I don’t know how to act when someone’s depressed, I don’t know how people feel about shipping, or designs for characters who canonically don’t have a physical appearance, or what the opinion is on all of the nsfw content. I do the Homer Simpson bush meme whenever I see it pop up because if there’s something that I do know, it’s that people don’t want minors reading their blorbos being sexy with each other.

(Side note: The amount of times I’ve accidentally clicked on an explicit fic thinking ‘Oo what’s this’ and then seeing what’s going to happen is… not staggering, actually. But enough for me to laugh in hindsight. I scroll to the bottom to read the comments to confirm my suspicions, and get the hell out. Happened with the same fics multiple times too because I forgot they were explicit and that I’d encountered them in the first place, wondered why I never read them and then boom, flashback, I never read the description like the fool I am).

And there’s the thing isn’t it. Some parts of fandom culture, it feels like all I can do is mess up. I just don’t know how I can handle all the fear of this attention?

Like, I don’t hate it. I like interacting, I like that people love my art despite my grievances with parts of my style, I’ve been so motivated to grow and get better because of everyone. You can all look at my oldest STP post and newest one and see the differences plainly.

But it’s really so much, and I’m as grateful as I am terrified. I’m terrified of hurting someone’s feelings when I don’t mean to. Like, what if I follow someone and they get excited because I’m a “big name” and then I decide to unfollow for whatever reason I might have at the time? I might crush that person’s soul or want to interact.

Despite my willingness, I do have problems with some ships, but I can’t voice any because what if I start a big argument with a bunch of people involved instead of the normal discussion I wanted to have? People are more likely to take my side because I’m the popular person, and we all know popular people are always right about everything and we must regurgitate their opinions without any thought put into how you actually feel. And then I’ll make whoever I was talking to retreat for a really long time, and everything will be awful and terrible forever and ever.

I can’t do that to people! I’ve been those people! I’ve was told things by people I looked up to and would get so so so upset, because I’m really emotional. I don’t want to hurt someone who might be sensitive like me.

I really just wanted to get all these feelings off my chest. Sorry if it got pretty venty. I’m open to discussing it, I’m still really scared to post this, it’s my only ever vent post, but I’ll try not to just save it in my drafts and let it rot.

[delusinaldreamer19]

Vent/Rant incoming. Feel free to disregard.

(But also maybe don’t, idk)

Something that’s become apparent to me as I’ve posted more frequently on Ao3 is just how disheartening it can be to feel like I’m performing for a silent crowd.

Dgmw, it is very much that I am just a sensitive & insecure person by nature. (I’m incredibly embarrassed abt posting this, but again, just venting.) And its not that I’m trying to directly beg for ppl to read and comment on my works, but I am sort of…indirectly doing that.

I just can’t help but feel a bit like ‘what am I doing wrong?’ I’ve both intentionally and unintentionally written a decently wide verity of fanfics for Kuro, whether it’s shorter oneshots or longer multi chapter fics, as well as tonally with things being funny, sad, mysterious, contemplative. I try and pay attention to what gets the most interaction so that I know what people are most interested in reading. But even with doing that, I can’t really tell. Like I want to write stuff that people enjoy reading, but it sometimes feels impossible to tell if I’m doing that.

(Pls excuse me, I’m about to start very much complaining)

I don’t even know why I tend to feel that way, I’ve got six stories posted and half have over 1000 hits (two that are over 2000 hits). But again, I’m a horrifically insecure person with an adhd brain that never shuts up.

I know that I’m doing nothing but preaching to the choir when I say ‘authors really want you to comment on their works!!’ And it’s not that I don’t ever get comments (and I swear that I am extremely thankful for each one despite how what I’m about to say sounds), but I just feel like the nature of them is what gets to me sometimes.

I put a lot of time and effort into my stories (despite how quickly I’ve been updating), and I work really hard to write things that are well thought out, interesting, and while I don’t write smut (as of now), mature. I’ll look in other stories comment sections to see what other ppl have said about works that I’ve enjoyed, and I’ll see questions and commentary about specific things that happened in the chapter, and my works just…don’t tend to get a lot of that.

It could very well just be that my neurodivergent brain is upset about not getting that instant gratification, I get that. But I just wanna like- talk to people about my stories. I wanna have discussions about things in Kuro or things that I’ve written. I wanna hear when something I’ve created has garnered any sort of reaction. And because I don’t get a lot of that, my cursed neurodivergent and insecure brain translates it as meaning that I didn’t truly make anything that warranted a reaction.

I’m just incredibly prone to growing obsessive over things like this. I didn’t really ease into writing fanfiction over time, I sort of just hit the ground running and took off. For reference, I quite literally wrote all of my stories (a collective 146,000 words (I added it up cus I was curious)) in JUST this past year.

I’m kinda not sure what I should do. If I need to “work harder” and “do better”, or if I just need to wait for this influx of self doubt to pass. Or even take a small break from writing, which I don’t necessarily want to do since it’s still something that I greatly enjoy. But if that’s advice worth giving in regards to my predicament, then I suppose it warrants being considered.

(inhale) BUT ANYWAYS, that’s the end of my little vent session. As I said in the beginning, feel free to disregard, or don’t. I could probably use some advice tbh, but don’t want to beg for it. I haven’t had much of an active presence in fandom spaces (or really just active internet presence) for most of my life, so dealing with this sort of thing is still very new to me and I’m not really sure how to navigate it😭.

[allamericanb-tch]

marauders as eliza mclamb songs

** i limited myself to the ones she has on soundcloud because i did not want to go through her entire tiktok page to find links for all of her old songs sorry im a lazy queen.

pretend my explanations are not convoluted and poorly worded

the playlist of songs mentioned please go listen to it (with the marauders in mind !! ) i am obsessed with eliza mclamb currently. i tried to use every song on this playlist since i couldn’t use every song on her tiktok but i did skip some so. sorry? also the lyrics are just the ones i thought were the most them. i did not type out every single lyric to all these songs im not a MANIAC

james — look at me and lie / “daddy issues”

genuinely this song makes me tear up every time. it’s so jegulus from james pov coded which i think is absolutely devastating. in my mind this song is james thinking about regulus, knowing he has the mark, and regulus is wasting away knowing that he can’t be with james anymore, unknowing that james knows he has the mark. ugh it just breaks my heart every time.

i fucking hate when you look at me and lie // but i see it in your eyes you haven’t given up anything, except maybe the last three years of your life

—

jegulus 💔

i know i remind you of the life you couldn’t live, you make that pretty clear when you lose your shit weirdly i like that side of you better. // to see you angry is more fulfilling than the apathy

———

remus — wendy’s parking lot / autopilot / dial tone 

cigarettes i mean this is literally remus. but in all seriousness, this song is so remus feeling alone, very first and second year of him, before he really got on with the marauders.

smoke a single cigarette out the window // i want to go driving till i run out of gas, speed till i pass everybody in a baby blue subaru with their 401k’s // i don’t have anyone to cry to

—

remus trying to live his life after sirius leaves

doctor said i need routine // it’s time to drive around aimlessly and listen to music that used to make me cry, i wish it still did // i miss the feeling of feeling something

—

remus calling grant after sirius leaves

who can i call? // you don’t have to say anything at all // just stay on the line, to know somebody’s out there will do me fine

———

sirius — 2007 / haunted house

this song is sirius thinking about his time with regulus before hogwarts, and regulus idolizing his older brother and wanting to be just like him, and they grow up and grow apart, but really they’re scarily similar and sirius knows it and hates it because he hates himself.

you were still a baby, of course you’ll always be my little lady, but then you were freed // god, you’re turning into me // i want to hold your little face just look at you and say, ‘it’s not as good as it seems’ // it never gets better than being a kid with a dream

— 

this is sirius returning to his apartment he has with remus after he escapes azkaban

i swear this house is haunted, i can’t be here without wanting to go back ten years and do it all again. // i just can’t make myself fit back into place

———

peter — speak

this is peter being quiet and shy and following james around like a lost puppy dog because james has always been his only friend, and he couldn’t bear to lose him, so he goes along with everything james does.

i never could talk loud enough so i learned how to listen. // i find my place in other people’s shadows. // i wait for you to ask me, ‘how is it you forgot how to speak?’

———

mary — pornstar tits / anti-cinematic

this song is so mary being oversexualized by the fandom, and only used as a device to further the plot of wolfstar fics by being a rival love interest for sirius.

they trade that shit like pokémon cards, swapping my body with somebody else’s // it’s either jezebel or madonna and i’m not sure which one is worse

—

this i think is mary leaving the wizarding world, and losing all her friends (..because they died) and trying to go back to life as a muggle

what if my best years are behind me? // what if i just keep getting older and lonelier?

———

lily — elastic band / american wasteland

this song reminds me of lily reminiscing on her life before she found about wizards and magic and became involved in the war, and knowing she can’t go back to the life she once had.

so many memories i can’t recover existing in only a feeling // sometimes if i think real hard its like i’m there again // i’ll think i’ll stay in this moment for a while

—

american lily evans. there i said it. but this song actually feels more petunia to me. petunia after lily leaves, feeling out of place without her built in best friend.

two kids in a double wide // take the city bus home // get off at the next stop and walk the rest of the way home in the dark

———

marlene — twin flame

marlene and dorcas, dorcas and marlene.

i can read your mind like you can read mine // do i like you, or do i like that you’re fucked up like me?

———

regulus — hydroplaning

this is regulus being in love with james, and being so deep into his self-hatred that he can’t even fathom why someone like james would like someone like him.

something about you liking me just doesn’t sit right with me i think it probably means you have bad taste. // and then of course i’ll whine about how no one could ever love me.

———

evan — drunk in a fancy shower

evan at a party feeling out of place because party is drunk kissing other girls, and not drunk kissing him. poor evan :(

it’s so clear that i really don’t belong here // is it so cynical to think that no one would give a shit if i crawled out this window? // i need to get the fuck up, get back out there fill my cup up

———

barty — zoned out

this is so barty losing his mind slowly after evan’s death

i came back into my body to find somebody else in it // i hate that i can’t listen to you over the sound of my heartbeat // sometimes i just have to leave

———

pandora — witching hour / all alone

pandora is very much the kind of person who would find comfort in being alone in the middle of the night, and being awake while the world is asleep.

it must be the witching hour if i’m awake // it’s like the universe has picked me up, i’m a tiny baby in her cosmic cup. // i’m not scared of the unknown

—

pandora being self aware and knowing that people think she’s weird and creepy but knowing she is on the right path for her <3

all alone, in my little world. if it’s a one man universe i’m my favorite girl. // ‘you’re all alone, well aren’t you wasting time?’ no i’m just taking mine. 

———

dorcas — dreamgirl

dorcas being dorcas

i wanna be your dean girl // i like the version of me that lives in your mind // i’m still a mystery to you

———

[she-karev]

Playing Cupid (Japril Season 16 Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Jackson Avery x April Kepner

Canon Episode: Season 16 Episode 20

AN: I decided to shift the focus to Japril because I strongly believe they missed an opportunity to bring April in after Jackson was shot. Amber in this story represents all of us Japril shippers and she is basically gonna be Cyrano to this couple that deserved better writing. The next chapter will be posted tonight so be prepared.

Summary: April is surprised to find Amber at Jackson’s apartment and learns what happened to him. They talk about their relationship problems where April reveals her impending divorce to Amber.

Words: 2541

Amber holds the door open still looking at April Kepner in mute shock who looks at her in visible shock with her mouth wide open. In a stroller between them is Harriet who looks at Amber with a smile happy to see her. Amber snaps out of it and remembers her place.

“April I didn’t expect to see you here…in Jackson’s apartment.” Amber suddenly remembers something, “Wait is it Jackson’s weekend already?”

April blinks before answering, “Um I took some night shifts at the clinic Jackson and I switched the dates, I am sorry I am trying not to be judgmental but what are you doing here in one of my daughters’ homes?”

“No, no it is not like that.” Amber tells her with a straight face practicing this speech she did with Maggie and Andrew when they questioned the nature of her and Jackson’s relationship, “Andrew broke up with me and kicked me out.” April’s face morphs to sympathy, “I needed a place to stay and his is roomier than my brothers. It’s just a friend helping a friend I swear. I thought he told you this.”

“He didn’t. I’ve been busy with clinic and I guess he wanted to figure out the best way to tell me.”

Amber chuckles lightly, “Well it’s an interesting way to find out I guess.”

April looks behind her, “Where is Jackson?”

Amber’s slight grin falls at that question, “They didn’t call you to tell you?”

April suddenly gets worried, “Tell me what? Is Jackson, okay?” Amber realizes she is still holding the door open and talking to her out in the hall. She steps aside and April quickly enters the living room with Harriet in the stroller while she sits in the armchair. Amber takes a seat across from her on the couch.

“Um…there was a shooting today.” April’s face falls at that word shooting and she looks down in silent shock not registering what Amber says next, “He was working with Warren at the PRT but he is fine. A drug addict tried to rob them at point blank and shot Jackson in the leg. The patient died and so did the shooter but everybody else made it out safe. They applied a tourniquet so there was no major blood loss, bullet went through so they just had to debride in the trauma room. The bone isn’t too damaged but Link thinks he should do PT just in case-”

“PT?” April looks up confused just now latching on to the one word that doesn’t make sense. Her mind was paralyzed by shock and growing grief that she didn’t pay attention to what Amber said, “What are you talking about?”

“Ortho doesn’t think it’s too bad.” Amber says on an exasperated edge, “Haven’t you been listening? It’s a bullet through the calf they had to debride in the trauma room but he should be okay after a few weeks.”

April gasps clutching her stomach like it was gonna drop, “He’s-He’s alive?”

Amber quickly nods, “Yes he is, weren’t you listening?”

April exhales in a relieved manner and looks close to tears, “I-I just…when you said shooting, I thought…I thought I lost him like we lost Reed and Charles. Reed and Charles were-”

“No, I know Jackson told me about them and how you two were there during the hospital shooting.” Amber sighs with regret, “I’m sorry I should’ve tread more carefully and lead with he’s okay. I didn’t realize it would bring all of that back for you. Are you okay?”

April swallows and nods, “I am, I am now that I know he’s okay. How did this happen?”

Amber groans at that reminder, “It was a junkie with a gun, she stopped the PRT for drugs and I guess she shot Jackson to make a point. She’s dead so we can’t get our revenge.”

“Well, I believe she’s earning a well-deserved punishment from the red guy downstairs so I’m good.” April gets Harriet out of her stroller and puts her in the play mat with her toys before coming back to talk to Amber, “How long is he gonna be at the hospital?”

“Assuming everything goes well, he should be out with a cast by the end of the weekend. Jesus, I swear with this and Dr. Webber the whole world is going upside down.”

“I saw the video.” April nods in understanding, “How are you holding up?”

Amber chuckles darkly sipping her drink, “Is that a rhetorical question? Because with the bipolar ex, squatting at a penthouse, my teacher possibly having dementia and my brother figure in the hospital with a bullet wound I’m gonna need more whiskey.”

April looks at her in sadness knowing her pain, “I’m sorry. You said that DeLuca is bipolar? Are you sure about that?”

Amber swallows the lump in her throat, “Yeah, I have been on this ride before and I know how it looks even with a manic and not a psychotic. I never knew what it was to be in a relationship with someone with mental health issues but for the last two months I now understand that you don’t matter to them. Their problems become your own because they feel the need to take it out on you because your close targets. It gets frustrating to the point where you just want to get out and leave them to suffer from their own delusions.” Amber sighs with April giving her a sympathetic nod, “I think I understand why my father left my mother.”

“Hey come on.” April starts with a motherly tone, “Just because you fell in love with someone with mental health issues doesn’t make you your dad and it doesn’t make him your mom it just…it makes it a rough patch you can either work through or not.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything left to work through.”

“Listen I’ve seen mental illness with soldiers in Afghanistan. They take on a whole new personality, it’s like somebody else took over. It’s the same thing that’s happening with Andrew only instead of war its genetics causing this.”

Amber sips her whiskey, “I know I’ve repeated that mantra with my mom and brother. I know he didn’t ask for this like I didn’t but he is ignoring it and making it worse. I know you think that’s selfish and I’m projecting my family problems on him.”

April shakes her head, “No that’s not what I think. Neither of you are being selfish here, you’re just tired of repeating this pain. As for Andrew the illness doesn’t make him inherently selfish, what makes him selfish is refusing to do anything before it’s too late.” Amber nods as her eyes begin to glisten. April looks at her in sympathy, “Are you really sure it’s over? There’s nothing to mend at this point?”

“No I made it more than clear he lost the right to beg for forgiveness when he showed up to help Webber instead of trying to fix himself and us.” Amber starts to tear up, “I thought I found the one. He was it for me. He was sweet and kind and handsome and he could handle my crap. He knew what it was like to grow up with a parent who neglected their mental health. I thought I hit the jackpot. Instead, I was so worried I would get my mother’s illness I never for one second considered he could get his father’s. And now he has and he refuses to do anything about and I feel…I feel like I’m broken and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”

April pulls out a travel tissue packet and hands it to Amber who takes it and wipes her tears, “Thanks I know this isn’t how you envisioned your night going, taking care of a heartbroken resident sleeping in your ex’s guest room.”

“Well, it’s definitely more interesting than what I had in mind.” Amber chuckles while April grins.

“God I am such a mess, not even a hot paramedic asking me out can cheer me up.” April raises an eyebrow, “Wren Jones, I gave her a cast with my number after she asked me out.”

“I’ve met her, she brings patients to my clinic, she’s pretty.”

Amber wipes another tear, “She’s freaking gorgeous but I can’t April. I’m too screwed up to date and I want it to be because I like her and I do but…a part of me thinks about the look on Andrew’s face when he see’s me with someone after he dumped me and the satisfaction it will give me to beat him. But Wren deserves more than to be a weapon in my relationship war. And I don’t know if I can give her what she really deserves. I don’t know if I can jump back in the game so soon after what I’ve been through.

April squeezes Amber’s knee in comfort, “There’s nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself and regrouping and healing. It would be wrong for you to jump into another relationship so soon after your breakup because that will just make things worse for you. Maybe this is a sign for you to get your priorities in order and connect with yourself.”

Amber nods, “Yeah I know I need to step back from the dating game indefinitely…it still sucks though.”

April grins, “Look for what it’s worth I completely understand where you are at right now.”

“No, you don’t.” Amber sniffles, “I know your divorce from Jackson was messy but you found your true love after him.” April frowns as Amber continues, “Your one is perfect, he’s cute, he’s in the business of saving lives, he worships the ground you walk on, he doesn’t make you feel like crap. I mean you pretty much hit the jackpot after your divorce while I-”

“We split up.” Amber freezes and looks up in shock registering April’s fallen face. April sighs and takes a moment before explaining, “We kept trying to tell ourselves that our whole winding road was God's plan to bring us back together. But he was still so angry and so hurt. I mean, I left him at the altar, and then his wife died. You know, you don't just stop feeling hurt 'cause it's a better story if God brought us together in our pain.” Amber looks at April feeling sympathetic, “He denied it for so long. You know, he tried so hard not to hate me. I think loving me, making us a full circle was the story he was writing. I mean, I guess it was the story we were both writing. I mean, I was trying to get past my guilt. He was…He was trying to forgive God for the loss of Karin…but y-you know, ultimately, we learned that…” April bitterly chuckles, “Life just isn't always so tidy. And God's plan isn't always so easy to understand. He's always been so good with Harriet, and I adore Ruby, but we both started working longer hours, just avoiding coming home. And then, his sister got sick. She lives in Philadelphia. So, he and Ruby went to Philadelphia to be with her, and…now she's better, uh, but they're still in Philadelphia. And…they are not coming back.” Amber looks down in guilt over her previous assumption, “So yeah, I get how it feels to be broken beyond fixing. I am about to be divorced for a second time and a single mother again and according to the bible and my family I am a sinner in the eyes of the lord. I am doing about as great as you I think.”

Amber holds out her expensive whiskey, “Here you need this more than anyone I’ve ever met and that’s a lot of people.”

April chuckles, “Thanks but I’m working tonight. Speaking of which I gotta get to the clinic.” April stands up grabbing her purse and Amber stands up to lead her out, “Are you good to take of her tonight?”

“Don’t worry it’s not my first time with her it’s just double the diapers without Jackson around. If it’s okay with you I can take her in to see him tonight before she sleeps, maybe a visit from his little girl will be good for him.”

“Yeah of course, he needs a good end to a day of being shot.” April chuckles darkly, “I swear it’s day like these I could kill him for being so brave and so stupid.”

“You and me both sister and thanks for the talk I think I needed some girl to girl talk with someone who get’s where I’m coming from.” Amber smiles at April gratefully.

“Of course, and if you want, I can help you unleash your rage the right way.” Amber raises an eyebrow, “Gun range, shooting a paper target is very cathartic trust me.”

Amber chuckles, “I’ll think about it. Hey, does Jackson know about you and Matthew? I mean he never mentioned it.”

“No, he doesn’t I’ve been busy and so is he. Plus, he thought it was crazy what I was doing he didn’t say it but I could see it and I’m really not in the mood for an ‘I told you so’ my family already got their share after I told them.” April sighs, “Amber, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell him before I did. This is still new, it just happened and I want to figure out how to tell him myself. Can you please keep this between us and Harriet who I already swore to secrecy? Please?”

Amber looks at the pleading face on April and despite wanting to tell Jackson knowing his lingering feelings for April decides to keep a promise after April helped her with her emotional turmoil, “Yes I can keep this between us. I mean it’s not like it’s gonna change his life in any way.” Amber grins to sell it knowing it would be the opposite for Jackson.

April grins, “Okay thank you so much I already fed Harriet so your good there, you just take her to see daddy, read her to bed and she should be out like a light.” April goes to the play mat with a wide smile for Harriet, “Okay ladybug mommy has to go but your gonna see daddy and then you get to have a sleepover with auntie Amber is that fun?”

“Yay!” April laughs at Harriet’s joy as does Amber who can’t believe intern year that little girl hated her and now, she’s the designated aunt.

“Yay! That’s right I love you so much ladybug I’ll see you soon.” April gives Harriet a lot of kisses before walking to the door with Amber leading her out, “Okay call me if you need anything seriously.”

“Don’t worry I will, have a good shift.” April nods and leaves. Amber closes the door before making a raspberry sound and lifting Harriet in her arms so she can get her ready to see her dad. Amber sighs as she carries Harriet down the hall to her room, “Harriet it’s days like this I wonder what my life has come to being thrust into other people’s problems.” Amber closes the door in Harriet’s room.

Next Part Here

[redwayfarers]

@lilas your prompt is here! tonglr was being weird and i've been trying for so long to just publish the thing? so here it is as a regular post instead...

fandom: wayfarer ship: cassander inteus/melchior larkspur (cassmel) characters: cassander inteus, melchior larkspur rating: gen words: 1045 dividers by @saradika

prompt: kiss in secret

There are a few rules when Mel is on a con job. One, never greet him as Melchior in public. In fact, don’t greet him at all beyond a wave; he may have masked his stretched blue body to others, but to my eye, he sticks out like a sore thumb. I do too, so I get it. Most of the time, “tall red guy” gives me away. 

Chasing wayfarers out of villages sure is fucking fun. The tall red guy has outstayed his welcome, so we chase him out with forks and brooms. Did you know that magiani bring curses on ships and most recently, villages? Red ones more than most! Honorable Guild of Mages has concluded and definitively proved that magiani are somehow fucked in the head (through absolutely no fault of the Guild itself) and they also bring bad luck. Better chase them out quick before it spreads! 

The hair, I mean. There is such a thing as bastards. 

Next thing I gotta do when Mel’s on a job is bring out my collection of headscarves. Just in case. Height gives me away regardless. It’s only Sero’s thoughtful care that helped me not bump my head against all kinds of shit when I was growing up. By now it’s instinct. It helps lessen the chances of him being found out if he ever sees me. 

Not that he normally does, mind. He usually avoids me for those reasons, but just in case we see each other out and about. I don’t mind it, personally. Headscarves make for some nice, inexpensive detailing. I am but a poor wayfarer, after all. With some puppy eyes and dick sucking, I managed to get some face framing pieces in the mix, too. 

If you told me I’d be in a relationship with a con artist and technically complicit in his crimes, I would’ve laughed. But hey, it’s not like I don’t approve of him scamming rich assholes. I bear the name of a long line of rich assholes who hog all the power, I have every right to hate them with all my being. 

So in the midst of one such crime, with my dark headscarf, curls around my face and non-descript clothes, I glide into the crowds of Velantis. What I wasn’t expecting, however, is seeing Mel in them, blue and gorgeous and dressed in absolute finery I’m not sure how he affords. He’s in the company of a human with black hair, equally well dressed, whispering something in her ear. She blushes and looks away. Mel gives her a sweet smile. 

He has such a way with people. 

I don’t know what she’s seeing. Is it a human, like her, or maybe an elf? Probably not a melusine. Maybe an aeda? Certainly not a dwarf, judging by his body language. I don’t know the name off the top of my head, but I can’t go shouting Melchior like this. It’ll probably be a one off sighting and a story he tells me over dinner. 

Yet, as she looks away, Mel glances in my direction. His eyes widen for a fraction of a moment and he whispers something in the woman’s ear. She nods, earning herself a kiss on the cheek, and he makes his way over. 

“Hello,” I say quietly and he signals to a nearby hidden corner between two shops. His hand grips my upper arm and we sneak in there. It isn’t hard to hide our footsteps in the throngs of Velantis. 

As soon as we’re out of sight, his shoulders droop. His smile, acted and fake, drops. He doesn’t let go of my upper arm. “Thank the stars I saw you,” he says, and he sounds.. Off. Nervous. Worried. 

“What’s the matter? Something wrong?” I look over at his face. He offers a small smile. 

“Nothing you’re able to help with much, unfortunately,” he says quietly. “I simply haven’t been this nervous over… in a long time. It’s disconcerting.”

“I’m sure you’re doing great,” I reply, taking his hand in mine. He sighs deeply and leans in. 

“You smell of oranges,” he says. He then kisses me, and I’m careful to not ruin his hair or clothes when I hug him and return the kiss. Thankfully he’s not wearing any lip color, and even then, the importance of not ruining the image he’s presenting. I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if he got in trouble because of me. 

“Wanna talk about it? Tonight, I mean.” 

He squeezes my hand and nods. I kiss his forehead. “You’ll be fine,” I laugh softly. “You could fool the best of them.” 

“As long as I am not ratted out,” he teases. It’s still tense, but not as tense as before. 

“You won’t get any rats from me,” I promise. “Mice, maybe. Rats, no.” 

He barely holds back a laugh. “I really need to go now, Cassander. But I did need that. I’ll tell you all about it tonight.” 

I can’t help stealing yet another quick kiss. It's not my fault he has such kissable lips. He smiles, but this time, it’s genuine and less of a mask. He then lets go of my hand to dig through his pocket and place something in my hand. 

It’s a few crowns, shiny and gold in the sunlight. “Buy yourself that hair oil you like,” he says and touches the curls around my face. It sends the hairs tickling the skin of my cheeks and it’s my turn to hold back a laugh. “It makes your hair look so delightfully bouncy.”

Before I can say much else, he’s off in the crowds again, and I’m left looking at the crowns. They’re so new and maybe possibly freshly forged, and maybe he stole them just for me, or maybe he brought them for himself but decided my hair is a more worthwhile investment, I don’t fucking know. I just know that they make me giggle like I’m a kid again and that there’s more than enough crowns there for two bottles of the oil. 

I also know that there’s a story waiting for me tonight, and that maybe, I’m not as shitty of a person as my head likes to make me think I am.

[tamathestoryteller]

What reason does cross guild have to take out Blackbeard? Did I miss something?/genuine

Holy shit I have never gotten an anonymous ask before! I am honoured! Thank you 🥹

No you haven’t missed anything. Not really!

The Strawhats and Luffy especially have reason because Blackbeard orchestrated Marineford to get an all star evil crew from Impel Down and Whitebeard’s DF. Therefore Blackbeard is basically responsible for Ace’s death. We know Blackbeard gave Shanks his facial scar, so I assume there is bad blood there, although the story hasn’t been revealed.

My reasons for the cross guild joining… under the cut. (Spoilers for Egghead arc past the anime, safe to read for manga readers)

My first (weaker) reason:

Perona goes in search of Moria, who is last seen on Blackbeard’s island while he is away. We are lead to assume Moria is killed by Shiryu and Catarina Devon. In the fandom, most people consider Perona to be Mihawk’s adopted daughter. In cannon, I’m not sure if Mihawk would go rescue her, but if he did he would probably go by himself…

But I think it is so funny to imagine Mihawk pulling up to the Sunny and being like: “Zoro! We gotta go rescue your sister”

My second (stronger) reason:

Currently all the 4 emperors are going after the One Piece and while Luffy has Robin to read the poneglyphs and went to each one of the Road Poneglyph and then collected them honestly. Luffy and Law gave Kidd copies of the Road Poneglyphs they got during their alliance because of his help with the battle on Onigashima. I’m not sure if he even knew about the road poneglyphs being necessary to find the One Piece before they give the copies to him. Anyway…

Shanks takes Kidd’s poneglyphs before he distroyed him (although I’m sure Kidd is still alive somehow), and Blackbeard took Law’s when he beat the Heart Pirates. So if we look at the race for the One Piece as consisting of having the info (poneglyphs) and having the means to translate them.

1st place- Luffy with 3 poneglyphs and Robin

2nd place- Blackbeard with 3 poneglyphs and Pudding. As it is implied in WCI that Big Mom wanted a kid with a 3rd eye because she thought they could read the poneglyphs.

Also in 2nd place- Shanks, because even though we don’t know how he intends to read them, Shanks has 3 poneglyphs and probably knows where the 4th one is.

Last place- goes to Buggy and the Cross Guild, with no poneglyphs and no means for translation. However Buggy has strong armed Crocodile and Mihawk into going for the One Piece by telling their entire organization that they will. If they go against him the organization will crumble because all of Buggy’s followers think that he is awesome, and they will look ridiculous if it comes to light that he got the better of them in the first place.

But I bet that it will only take Crocodile realizing that the race for the One Piece would help him get his hands on one of the ancient weapons and he would get on board. After that getting their hands on the road poneglyphs would be fairly easy. As a former Roger Pirate, Buggy can walk into Wano and ask to see their poneglyph, and unless he can read the poneglyph, or is given the explanation by Oden’s dad, he or Crocodile wouldn’t know about Pluton being hid under the poneglyph. If Crocodile did know about Pluton being under there then he would probably want to stop the whole thing there to bring down Wano’s borders and get it.

So after Buggy goes to Wano, Inurashi and Nekomamushi would give him a note or something to have permission to look at the one on Zou. A quick call to King Neptune or a little research and he would find out that the road poneglyph from the Ryugu Kingdom went to Big Mom.

With Big Mom out of the picture the Cross Guild could honestly trade or buy access to the one on Whole Cake Island.

Then the Cross Guild would have everything Shanks has since Buggy would also probably know how to find the 4th one.

My third reason:

Blackbeard is growing stronger by the day, and in addition to looking for the One Piece it is going to become obvious to everyone that he is going to try to crush the other Emperors eventually. His crew is in direct competition with the Cross Guild in terms of power. If they want to survive, teaming up with Shanks and or Luffy would be their best bet.

I also think story wise it would be one of the best ways for a Shanks and Buggy reconciliation, and to allow the Akagami Pirates to interact with the rest of the one piece world.

Because if that theory goes around that Shanks will die before Luffy gets to reconnect with him ends up being true. I will be very upset 😠

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[bokutos-last-brain-cell]

This is sorta random but your and tired-o-fighter's interaction is so sweet ajdhdj this is what I love about fandoms how we coincidentally find each other and how our mutual special interests can bring that sense of joy and excitement. To think I almost didn't send that ask because I was shy ajdhdj I'm glad I did send it then

-sunshinebokuto

I totally get being shy about that kinda thing lol, though that tracks given my anxiety! I’m glad you sent that ask too!

I love talking with people about the things I enjoy but it’s admittedly been somewhat difficult to establish that people are welcome to converse with me here (and even on my main blog) because of how inactive I can be which I worry makes me appear more aloof and unapproachable than I actually am. Mostly it’s because of how sometimes I feel I’m just dropping fics and art into the ether and no one is seeing them, which makes me feel like no one’s interested and so I don’t post things like this where it’s just my rambles about stuff or even what’s going on in life because I find myself thinking “Does anyone even care about just my thoughts by themself? Why? It’s just me talking.”

It’s one of the mindsets I’m working on changing but unfortunately that takes time and I won’t magically improve on it overnight, and when you add my neurodivergency and mental health issues to the mix, it’s a pretty gnarly combination to try to combat. It’s definitely prevented me from being more bold in trying to cultivate a social circle here and grow my audience, such as how I’ve been wanting to find a beta reader for my Haikyuu fics (or even just my fics in general) but don’t know where to look or how to go about asking. I’ve been working on the Ennotana story for the Soulmates of Sleep series for the last 2 years since posting the Yakulev one (well, I haven’t really attempted to do so for the past year because of the massive writers block I’ve been dealing with but still) and have kind of stalled on it because I haven’t been able to get any feedback on it from people, and this applies for a lot of the other stories I’ve had in the works as well, such as the multiple BAKK AJR series WIPs I have going

I feel like I managed to go off track of what your original message was saying lol, but I’m pretty sure that’s just bound to happen with me given my ADHD. Anyways, agreed, fandom space can really be such a unique and wonderful thing! Thank you for sending me these asks and getting me out of my shell a bit more than I’ve been able to do on my own, it means a lot that you’re reaching out and please feel free to keep doing so! (Also that applies for all y’all, I really promise that I love getting asks and whatnot from you guys)

[joycieillustrations]

Hello! I found the scene in the finale between Corlys and Alyn very intriguing but am eager to hear your thoughts on it in terms of whether or not it clarified anything for you/for the representation of Corlys in your fics. I thought your last ask on the subject was interesting as I've struggled to make sense of Corlys and his actions all season. I'm still mostly at a loss.

Hi there! Thanks for your ask 😊

I’m going to preface this with the caveat that I still haven’t watched the episode yet. I’m in the UK so I’m asleep when the episode first airs (don’t have the energy to stay up until 3am anymore 😩) and due to my mental health being a bit rubbish recently, I haven’t really wanted to sit down and watch it. That being said, a couple of friends kindly transcribed the scenes for me and also summarised the performances etc., so I know what happens and how.

In all honesty, it doesn’t change much of what I’ve got planned. What this scene has confirmed for me (and I may be proven wrong by Season 3 when it airs) is my belief that Alyn is older than Laenor. To me, the imagery he uses in his (very justified) angry refusal of Corlys brings to mind an eldest child who saw a life that could have been his taken and given to a younger half-brother simply because he is legitimate. The fact that, in this anecdote, Laenor and Corlys are picking out sweets gives the image of Laenor being quite young - so young that he is still being indulged by his father, something that we see Corlys is not wont to do - and Alyn being old enough to understand who Corlys is, why there is a difference between himself and Laenor, and also to be out working. Now, this maturity and cognisance may simply be because Alyn has had to grow up faster because of his lowborn status, but I think Alyn being older too holds more weight.

Another reason this scene makes me think Alyn is older than Laenor is this anger that is present. He almost sounds - in modern terms - like a child of divorce, like someone who feels like they’ve been cast aside for a chance at a ‘better’ family. To me, this anger would make even more sense if Alyn had been born first: that he’d look at Corlys with Laenor and wonder why he wasn’t good enough? Why did Corlys need another son when he had Alyn? What did he do wrong? What did he do to make Corlys abandon them, abandon his mother (who I’ll refer to as Marilda from now on, even though her identity hasn’t been confirmed in the show)? Why did Corlys come back and father another child on Marilda and then abandon them again? Is he the reason Addam has had to grow up without a father? None of this is Alyn’s fault, of course, but a child blaming themselves for the breakdown of their parents’ relationship is a very common thing (speaking from experience). On a rational level, I think this older Alyn knows that really Corlys could never have married Marilda because she herself is lowborn (and potentially also a bastard), but that doesn’t erase the hurt he feels from his childhood. He saw the man he knew was his father with a wife who wasn’t his mother and watched as they raised a son whom Corlys openly loved and cherished.

I have written a detailed response where I go into more depth about my personal canon re. when the fathering of both Alyn and Addam takes place, what I think about what this means for Corlys and Rhaenys’ marriage, etc. but I think I’ll post that separately. I want a little more time to refine my points - especially as I think there’s a lot of different factors at play when it comes to the fandom’s response to Corlys having bastards - and I don’t want to overwhelm you by making what is already a very long answer even longer!

I will summarise briefly here with this: I think Alyn was born before/very early on in Corlys and Rhaenys’ marriage and that Addam was conceived during a very low point in their marriage where Corlys and Rhaenys were both under a lot of strain. I think the conception of Addam occurred through Corlys making a very poor decision in a moment of weakness, seeking comfort he’d normally find in his wife. From S2 Corlys’ lack of knowledge about Marilda, despite her having two children with him, I don’t think it was an ongoing emotional affair, but rather she was an easy escape for him, having already had a child with him. Like I said, I’ll go into more detail with a later post - let me know if you’d like me to tag you!

Thanks again for your ask and I hope this answers at least some of your questions! ☺️

[imagineanime2022]

It's A Promise

Asmodeus X FTM!Reader

Word Count: 772

Requested: @your-next-daydream @tiddyanon-official

Request: Hello darling!!! Me again! I have a bit of an odd request but I'll do my best to word it. May I have Asmodeus from obey me with an insecure reader? Here's the context. Reader plays otome games as well because it's fun, none of us can lie they are fun. And reader will see the characters they interact with and see how perfect they are compared to them and will just get in their head about how they don't look good at all. I do this unfortunately it's more of a bodily dysphoria with the fact that I am trans (ftm) and I also don't particularly like myself. But you don't have to write all of that. I also hope you aren't getting tired of obey me…the fandom has seem to found your page quite well. Anyway thank you for reading I hope you are doing well in your studies! <3 AND Obey me with a closeted FTM reader that looks like a masculine Lilith? And one day, they're hanging out with one of the brothers, and they accidentally call him "sister." And at first the brother's just upset because they're reminded of their youngest sister's passing, but then they're surprised as MC just bursts into sobs at the (ACCIDENTAL) misgendering.

Warning: Accidental Misgendering, Insecurity, Slight body dysphoria

You had been coming to terms with who you were and what you wanted for yourself before you were teleported to Devildom. The demons there helped somewhat because of the fact that there was very rarely a gender normal for them. You found yourself growing closer to Asmo for that very reason, you felt that he was less likely to judge you should he ever find out about your gender identity. Levi was the other brother that you had found yourself growing closer to due to your interest in otome games.

That being said you were still hiding your transgender status and with no support system things started to get the better of you, you’d often found yourself focusing on problems that others may not have even noticed and in most cases don’t notice. Like most things these observations mounted until you couldn’t ignore it when you walked past a mirror. You spent more time playing otome games which didn’t help as you found yourself comparing yourself to all of the characters and greater defining your problems.

Asmo became a welcome distraction as he would spend time talking and messing around with you but today wanted to play dress up and you were his doll and it started out well he complimented you and you thought that it was going to get better but then he stopped his hands resting on your shoulder “you look amazing… Like Lilith did, the perfect little sister.” He said. Asmo didn’t realise that you were upset by the sentence, only snapping out of his sadness when he felt tears on his hands. “Hey what’s wrong..? Hey.” He slowly moved your face so that you were looking at him. “Sorry.” You said softly and he shook his head. “What are you sorry for?” He asked. “You haven’t done anything.” “I know you didn’t mean it.” You informed him and now he really was confused and you could see it. “You're going to have to explain.” Asmo finally said and you looked at him and nodded, you knew that he was right there was no way that you were going to be able to get passed this without telling him what was going on. “I’ve never told anyone this, so you have to bear with me.” You said voice shaking with the nerves that you were feeling, he nodded relocating you both to the bed where it was more comfortable, you had taken to playing with his fingers as he waited patiently for you to talk. “Alright…” You took a deep breath “before I came here I was in the process of figuring out something about myself.” You informed him and he nodded along with what you were saying but you had a feeling he knew where it was going and you thanked him silently for still letting you say it “I’m Transgender from female to male so when you referred to me as the perfect sister earlier.” “I’m sorry, I never meant for that.” He said as he squeezed your hands in reassurance. “I know, you didn’t know, it was difficult for me to tell you all, you were all so happy with the way that you are, you know… All demons seemed comfortable in their own skin. I started comparing myself to characters in the games that I was playing and fell further into this self deprecating hole.” You explained, it was easy to talk to him, there was nothing about him that said that he was judging you. “You my love after perfect as you are now and will continue to be perfect if you change. Do you know why?” He asked, you frowned as you waited for him to continue hanging on to every soft spoken word. “Because it’s a choice you made to make yourself happy, I want to see you smile, I want to see you choose something because you want it.” “Asmo… Thank you.” You said softly. “Can I hug you?” He asked, your heart swelled at him seeking permission. “Yes.” You nodded and he pulled you into his lap wrapping his arms around you. “You come to me when you are ready, okay… we can go shopping, get you new clothes and we can tell the others, I’ll be right by your side no matter how long it takes or who you decide to be.” He said. “You promise?” You asked. “It’s a promise.” He said softly, tightening his hold on you and hoping that it conveyed how safe you were with him and that no matter what you’d look back and see that he was ready to catch you.

Request Here!!

[jastersmohnson]

Where the heck have I been??

I found this old(ish) tweet by Michael Sheen.  My first thought was Michael Sheen looks good in a turtleneck.  My second thought was wait a minute, this was taken back when they were filming the show.  My third thought was wait a minute! I own that exact turtleneck (which I wear regularly now!)

(I didn’t mention it at the time but I did acquire one of Bill’s suit jackets, it’s one that he wears in eps. 403, 406, and 410—pictured below.  It’s like a grey suit but it has a rust pattern.  It happens to fit perfectly!)

So I’m not dead!  I’ve been tending to some of my other fandoms, and to be honest, I’ve definitely fallen out of the Masters loop.  I haven’t seen the show in more than three years, my last rewatch being at the end of 2019.  But something the last few weeks got me reminiscing about the show and suddenly I’ve been playing catch up on all the things I’ve missed and am now just discovering.  Lizzy Caplan had a baby!  Michael Sheen had two!  Caitlin Fitzgerald had a baby and got married!  Michelle Ashford has a new movie out!

Anyway, I’m not starting another rewatch of the show just right now.  I am a firm believer in absence making the heart grow fonder, so I do know that whenever that time comes, I’ll have a blast rewatching it.  And when I do rewatch it, I’ll be sure to do something.  Maybe another episode ranking or ranking all of Bill’s bowties, I don't know.

There are just a few thoughts that do come to mind.  First, it’s no secret that I’ve made my complaints known about Showtime removing Masters from their streaming service (and by that I mean they FUCKING SUCK for doing that), but just gauging the popularity of Masters nowadays, to my horror it seems to be mostly forgotten—and that’s pretty much only because it’s not streaming anywhere.  Netflix, please, give it a chance!

Speaking of Showtime... man have they gone downhill since Masters of Sex ended.  Apparently Yellowjackets is really good, but that’s the only thing real thing they seem to have going on.  When I made a post similar to this discussing the state of Showtime, I mentioned Billions as being the one bright spot of all their program at the time... well that show has gone downhill hard.  But beyond Billions and Yellowjackets, I don’t hear anything about their other programming.  You really have to wonder just how much longer Showtime has until it’s acquired by some larger company.  Maybe then Masters of Sex will be actually featured in a streaming catalog.  Maybe they’ll even be brought back?

Regarding the Masters of Sex cancellation, I’ve definitely accepted it.  In fact, as time has gone on, the more I appreciate the ending.  I think I had it in my mind that if season five were to exist, it would chronicle their lives into the 21st century, but the more I think about it... that probably wouldn’t have been the case.  The show probably would’ve ended in the late seventies.  Chronicling three decades in ten episodes would be a nightmare, and gradually aging Michael and Lizzy would be a challenge.  In case I didn’t make it clear by ranking “The Eyes of God” as my third or fourth favorite Masters of Sex episode, I really do love the way the show ends, but what’s always bothered me was that the writers didn’t know it was going to be the end when they wrote it.

So I’m totally fine if that’s it and that’s how Masters of Sex does definitively end, but I’ve also been encouraged by Michael and Lizzy implying in some interview years ago that they’d be more than happy to come back at any given time.  So there’s always hope!

[the-truest-sentence-i-know]

you don't feel pretty (you just feel used)

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Characters: Rhaenyra Targaryen x Daemon Targaryen (Daemyra)

Rating: T

Summary: Rhaenyra confronts Daemon about leaving her behind in the pleasure house.

Word Count: 1k

ao3 || ff.net || wattpad

When Rhaenyra had left the Valyrian steel necklace on her bedside table that morning, it had not been a deliberate move. She had slept in longer than normal and had had to hurry to appear at breakfast like everything was normal. But now, after her conversations with Alicent and her father, she thought it could perhaps have been a subconscious move.

She wandered through the Red Keep, her anger with Daemon growing with every step until she inevitably ran into him in the gardens.

He still wore the same clothes as he had last night, though considerably worse for wear. She was so used to seeing him always put together, it was a bit disconcerting.

“Good morning, princess,” he said, amiably.

“It is afternoon, uncle,” she said.

“So it is,” he said.

Rhaenyra’s hand involuntarily reached up to touch where the necklace usually rested between her collarbones. Her fingers found no cool metal there and she pretended to be adjusting the neckline of her dress instead. But Daemon’s eyes followed her movement and then looked up at her face, in that way he always looked at her. Like she was fascinating, or amusing, or he was trying to figure her out. She could never quite read him, but always got the feeling that he could read her perfectly.

She cleared her throat. “You look terrible.”

“I may have indulged somewhat heavily in drink last night after we–” He paused almost imperceptibly. “–parted ways.”

Her jaw tightened. “Parting ways is not exactly how I remember it.”

Daemon just looked at her a little longer, then said, “You’re angry with me,” as though he was making an observation about the weather.

“Of course I am angry, you abandoned me!” she burst out, then lowered her voice when she remembered where they were. “And we were seen.”

Rhaenyra thought she saw a flicker of worry in his eyes, but it was gone so quickly she could have imagined it. He shrugged carelessly.

“Does this not concern you?” she asked. “If the wrong person found out, the entirety of King’s Landing could know by the end of the day.”

“Only the most gullible or meanspirited would believe such vile rumours.”

She frowned at his flippancy. “I cannot tell if you are being deliberately naïve or if you are mocking me.”

“I would never mock you, princess,” he said, somewhat sincerely.

“Then what was the purpose of leaving me behind?” she demanded, working hard to keep her voice down. “Of bringing me there in the first place if you weren’t going to follow through?”

He huffed out a frustrated breath through his nose, looking away from her for a moment.

“Unless…” Rhaenyra’s face fell, and she looked up at Daemon with more distrust than before.

This even he found troubling. “What?”

“Unless you are the reason the news reached Lord Hightower so quickly,” she said slowly. “Lord Hightower, who has made no secret of his disapproval of me as the heir.”

“Rhaenyra,” Daemon said, for a moment – for once – at a loss for words. “Lord Hightower does not much care for me as heir either.”

“Yes,” said Rhaenyra. “That’s the part I haven’t quite worked out yet. If you wanted to discredit me in your favour, why not have the news reach my father directly, so you could spin it in such a way to benefit you? Or, even better, to someone sympathetic to your claim to the throne? Although–” She allowed herself a little smile. “–there aren’t that many of those, are there?”

“Then again,” Daemon said, and Rhaenyra got the feeling that he was beginning to enjoy this conversation again. “Being caught with you would sully my reputation too, would it not?”

Rhaenyra rolled her eyes. “Not as much as mine, and we both know why.”

Daemon is quiet again, searching her face. “Perhaps you’re not angry with me.”

She blinked. “Um, no, I am quite certain that I–”

“You’re embarrassed.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, cursing the feelings that rose in her as she remembered. Daemon pulling away from her, his mouth away from her, his hands off of her. Turning away like he didn’t want her anymore. Like he had grown tired of her.

Now, with the fear that he had never actually wanted her in the first place – and knowing that she had let him see how much she had wanted him – the feeling pressed up against the back of her throat. She could even feel tears pricking at her eyes.

But she swallowed hard and then looked her uncle in the eye. “If one of us should be embarrassed, it is you, not me. You took me to that pleasure house, you started it, and then you didn’t finish it. And then you ran.” She took a breath. “And I had to seek my pleasures elsewhere.”

Rhaenyra felt a distinct triumphant rush as she watched the words sink in. His eyes darkened and roamed over her body as though it would reveal its secrets to his gaze.

“Who is he?”

Another rush at the jealousy in his voice. “Who is who?” she asked. “I don’t know what you mean.” She smiled sweetly. “You should take a bath, uncle, you smell dreadful.” And she turned on her heel and walked away, resisting the urge to look back at him.

That night, she found out that Daemon had left for the Vale under her father’s orders and was expected to be gone for some time. As she got ready for bed, she could not decide whether she was happy he was gone. While she no longer had the same blind trust in him that she had had before, she could not deny the pull she felt whenever he was around her.

She heard the latch of the door open and turned to see Cristan’s deep eyes peering into the room. Perhaps it was best Daemon was gone, she decided. Dallying with a knight was one thing, but her uncle? She wasn’t a fool; she knew that was a dangerous desire to even entertain.

[beauty-and-passion]

What am I currently doing?

What am I even doing? Am I dead? Have I left the fandom?

The answers are writing, no and no.

The long answers are:

What am I doing?

First I collected all answers from the survey for the fanwriting of Sanders Sides Season 3 (aka Fanders Sides Season 3). I checked them all and planned what to do. I already wrote a post with all the details, so I won’t spoil too much here: everything will be explained in due time.

I also finished the analyses of the remaining episodes.

And in the last weeks, I’ve started writing Fanders Sides Season 3. Today I finished the first 9 episodes which ideally close my first “arc” of the season finale. One third (more or less) is done.

However, these things should still be reviewed and proofread and I can do it only after I finish writing the whole FSS3. So for now it’s just a good draft.

Am I dead?

Eurovision 2023 almost killed me and the aftermath left me crushed. It has been a couple of terrible weeks and I managed to get out of them, only after a while - and after the true winner got back on his feet.

In the meantime, my job contract ended and the company did not renew it. Why? Oh, no idea. They need a person and yet, they decided to fire one they spent 6 months training for that role. The bullshit they told me was “there is no money”, which is ridiculous coming from a growing gas and oil company.

The truth is probably that the heads of administration are complete idiots and have no idea about the situation. The place I worked for is a branch of the company and the administration center for the whole Italian division of said company.

When I started working there, the administration office was down to three people (they had retired) and they really, REALLY needed help. I did my best and, thanks to my and another person’s help, the workload was reduced.

So, since now things are somehow normal, they told me that hey, the problem is solved. Which proves they have no idea how an administration works, because reducing the workload now doesn’t mean the workload is reduced forever.

And even though they do not know that, my colleagues do. And they’re all pissed. They protested and did everything, so... who knows?

In the meantime, I decided to try another route, which means teaching. I am currently studying to take a few exams and, hopefully, get into a course. If a company calls me, I will ponder the decision, but in the meantime, I’m focusing on my studies.

And writing, of course. Always writing.

Heck, this sudden change in my life gave me somehow the idea I was looking for for 10 years. I don’t know how, but I just... thought about it, wrote down a couple of things and bam, in less than one hour I had a working plot. Just like that. As if I haven’t spent YEARS thinking about how to make that fucking plot work. But that’s another story I will probably explain one day.

Have I left the fandom?

Of course I haven’t left the fandom, I’m writing FSS3!

And even after that, I will still keep an eye on Sanders Sides, waiting for the faithful day in which Mr. Sanders will finally decide to work on the season 2 finale. I will post other stuff too and other analyses I’ve planned long ago, but one part of me will still wait for the next update.

However, since FSS3 might take a while, I would like to start posting the episode analyses. But I’m also on a writing spree for FSS3 and I don’t want to lose the momentum by shifting my attention to something else.

So the answer is that, for now, I probably won’t post anything. The analyses should be proofread first, but I’m writing now and I don’t want to lose the moment. I will keep going on with FSS3 until I’ve finished it, then I will start proofreading and once an analysis will be ready, I will post it.

So if you’re still following me, please wait a little bit longer. If I start something, I finish it. All you need is just a bit of patience.

In the meantime, of course, you can ask me for updates, details or anything else. It might take me some time to reply or I wouldn’t be able to tell you everything, but I will try my best as always.

And, of course, thank you all for your time and your patience 💖

[silvermoon-scrolls]

To Be or Not To Be, Yourself

Fandom: Young Hercules Pairing: None Word count: 487 Content warning: Questionable ethics? My humor?

For @deanobingo – Also available on AO3 Promts used: Iolaus and Honesty (or lack there of)

Summary: Iolaus feels Hercules needs help in the chatting-up-girls department, and naturally he has a plan to help a fellow cadet out (and maybe himself, too).

~

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Hercules looked mighty uncomfortable as he stopped outside the tavern, clearly reluctant to continue inside.

“It’s a great idea,” Iolaus said with enough confidence to make a pig fly. “How many girls have you scored with, huh?”

“None,” Hercules admitted. “But I haven’t really been try–”

“Exactly,” Iolaus interrupted. “And do you know why that is?” He poked his friend in the chest and immediately answered the prompted query himself. “Because you don’t know how to relax and just be yourself around girls. And since you aren’t comfortable being yourself, it only stands to reason that you should pretend to be someone else!” he explained with the air of a man who was secure in his knowledge that his reasoning was beyond reproach.

Hercules however did not seem to be entirely convinced of his friend’s logic. “I don’t know… It feels dishonest.”

“Don’t see it as lying. Just, you know, putting forth another version of you. One that’s a confident ladies man.” Iolaus nudged Hercules in the ribs and winked.

“But isn’t the whole point of being in a relationship with someone that you’re supposed to be able to be yourself with each other?” Hercules asked hopefully.

Iolaus abruptly brought up his hand. “Who-ah! Going a little fast there aren’t you? Who said anything about relationships?”

“But…” Hercules looked confused. “I thought– Isn’t that the goal?” he asked uncertainly.

Iolaus gave him a look of such incredulity that Hercules started to question whether he had suddenly grown an extra head or or maybe a disturbingly disgusting mole right between the eyes. “Uhm, then why do you want to talk to girls so badly, what's the point…?”

“‘What’s the point?’” Iolaus echoed with a hint of annoyance. “Sheesh, Herc. How much of this birds and bees thing am I gonna have to teach you?”

A large grin appeared on Iolaus’ face as he noted Hercules’ cheeks slowly grow beet red. “There you go,” he said, slapping the demigod on the back. “I knew you would get on the right page eventually.” Confident that his friend was won over now that he obviously was thinking of the right kind of things, Iolaus gently got them moving towards the tavern again. 

“Now remember,” he urged – his voice taking on that certain characteristic it did whenever he relayed one of his 'foolproof' schemes. “We are students from an art school in Athens. You’re a sculptor and I’m a poet – chicks dig that mushy, artsy stuff – and we’re here looking for the most beautiful girls in the land as inspiration for our art pieces.”

His partner's intricate background story faded into the background as Iolaus pushed him through the doorway of the tavern and on to this week’s inevitable doom. A sculptor was all well and good, Hercules thought. But what he really needed to be, was a person who knew how to say 'no'.