#i thought about waiting until next week when the finale actually goes live but well

[littleladymab]

@jadeoxfordrose gave me a few domaystic prompts one of which was for Elżbieta and Sorren and while i don't know if i can ever think of a situation in which they can relax enough to be domestic i did use it as an excuse to finally write that post-S1 reflection that i've been sitting on since 2021 when we finished the game. Seeing as one of the prompts they gave me was "Memento", it just fit.

Obligatory "go listen to @sagasofthesunlessreach!!" so you can learn about what i'm talking about lolol not me writing 2500 words of NOT either project i should be working on, so like, just take this i gotta go see myself out

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Elżbieta waits until the party is in full swing before she slips away. It’s almost too easy, but they’re drunk off success and something well aged and expensive from Aldrich’s personal stores. And Doctor Paxton is telling the story of his heroic deeds as if he’s the hero of the moment.  

Which, while not exactly true, isn’t completely wrong. It is enough to keep everyone’s attention, especially when Apricus decides to challenge him to a debate over who did more.  

They both brought back the sun, if even for a short time.  

The people of Ruel and the Rams join together in celebration, and Elżbieta slips into the shadows and up onto the ramparts overlooking the courtyard of the keep.  

She untangles the golden chain from her hair, fumbles the clasp twice with shaking fingers before freeing herself, and grips it tightly in her fist. The metal is warm from her touch — she is warm, an anger boiling just beneath the surface that she doesn’t know how to direct.  

She is not dead, or undead, or whatever else they want to think of her. She can feel the pulsing reminder with every heartbeat, and Aldrich’s words echo in her ears.  

You are just like him.  

You don’t even know what you’re giving up.  

And louder, over all of that, the busts of the family heads turning their gaze to her and calling her traitor. A family she hadn’t even known was hers, already casting scorn.  

They don’t even have the decency to do it at a family gathering.  

Elżbieta closes her fist even tighter around the locket, wondering if she should hurl it into the night or find a bottomless pit to drop it into or if the fire would melt it--  

“So this is where you’ve run off to.”  

Elżbieta jumps despite herself and turns to see Sorren leaning against the parapet several paces away, giving her enough space to not feel crowded by their presence. “I didn’t think you’d notice,” she says, hand dropping back to her lap.  

They shrug in feigned nonchalance before gesturing towards her with a flask. Their crooked grin catches in the flickering light from the bonfire in the bailey and she remembers the way their smile glinted in that brief snippet of sunlight. “If there is one other person here that would have any sort of inkling of what I’m feeling right now, I figure it would be you. So I thought, hey, maybe cheers to a job well done...?”

Honestly she has no idea what she’s feeling right now, or how it might compare to Sorren – they lived in that house, suffered beneath Aldrich’s hands. If anyone truly understood, it would be the other dhampirs and experiments they left behind in the mansion. She didn’t even know she was an Errol until just recently.  

No, that’s not true; she’s not an Errol. She’s a Wrona, just like her mother.  

And Aldrich tried to claim her the same as he claimed Ruel’s best and brightest, the same as he tried to claim Sorren, so maybe she does understand and it’s that anger mixed with a hopeless unmooring of everything she thought she knew changing before her eyes.  

“I don’t think you brought nearly enough to get drunk,” she says by way of agreement, and they push away from the parapet with the same liquid grace they bring to everything to cross the distance between them.  

“I got started without you,” they say, passing her the flask before dropping down next to her. They force her to scoot over so that they can dangle their legs through the same crenel as her. “Not interested in partying with the others? Even Ksana is enjoying her moment in the spotlight.” 

Elżbieta huffs and takes a deep pull from the flask, hissing through her teeth as the alcohol hits the back of her throat. “I’m not one for the attention. It’s sort of antithesis to my whole deal.” 

“Oh, aye? Dark and mysterious, is it?” Sorren chuckles as she nudges them with her elbow. 

“No,” she answers pointedly, holding the flask out of their reach when they try to make a grab for it. “I’m a one on one type of person. I don’t do crowds.” 

“So that’s why we’re up here on the ramparts, watching the party down below?” 

“I attempted to do this rampart business on my own, but you’re insisting on ruining that,” she teases as she finally relinquishes the flask. 

“You just said you’re not dark and mysterious so I’m trying to make sure you’re not a liar.” They pause with the flask against their lips before lowering it and meeting her gaze. “I can go, if you’d rather be alone.” 

Something shifts in her chest as she holds their gaze for a beat longer before turning to look down in the bailey below them. “No. Stay. Thank you.” 

Their shoulder is warm and solid against hers. “You know,” they start slowly, drawing her attention back to them, “I am also not fond of crowds. Not like this.” 

She wonders how long they hid their face after they escaped from the mansion, how long that fear of what they became chased after them. And what made them brave enough to finally do away with the scarf and the jacket — to show off the markings and the changes. 

She opens her mouth, the questions on the tip of her tongue, but then she closes it without asking. This is a time for celebration, not poking into old wounds made raw just because the man who carved them into bone and sinew is dead. 

Sorren lifts an eyebrow when the silence stretches on for too long between them, so Elżbieta settles by saying, “A week isn’t a very long time to get used to anything.” 

“I’ll fucking drink to that,” they grumble and take a sip before passing the flask back to her. 

Maybe she does understand how they feel better than she thought. 

For awhile they sit and pass the drink back and forth between them as they watch the celebration going on below. Sorren gives the occasional comment about one of the Rams, though from this vantage it’s hard to tell them apart. 

There’ll be dead to count and wounded to tend to, and new faces who want to help flocking to the keep. But for now, it’s a celebration. 

Elżbieta finishes off the flask and finally asks the question that has been circling around her head since the fight at the manor. “Do you recognize the name Cosmin?” 

Sorren pauses to consider, then shakes their head. After a beat, they ask, “Your father?” 

“No,” Elżbieta snorts. “Aldrich would not have given that to me for free. Another uncle, probably.” A groan works its way up her throat and out through clenched teeth as she tangles her fingers in the strands of her hair. “I go from it only ever being my mother and me to suddenly I have a whole family but they’re all a bunch of shitty uncles.” 

Sorren laughs, the sound exploding out of them before they can stifle it with the back of a hand. “Sorry. It is a shitty situation. It’s not that funny.” 

She allows for a small tired smile to tug at the corner of her lips and heaves her shoulders in a shrug. “I mean, it’s kind of funny. Just imagine the family portrait: Crowds of uncles, and then me.” 

“Surely you can’t be the only of your generation?” 

“I guess that’s part of the puzzle, isn’t it?” Elżbieta extends her hand into the empty space before her, letting the locket dangle from her fist. It swings in a lazy arc, catching the firelight at each apex. “How many are like Aldrich and Dragomir?” 

They reach out as well, catching the locket with nimble fingers and studying the crest emblazoned across the surface. “Or how many are like you.” 

Honestly, she wouldn’t wish this upon anyone else. There are newly formed dhampirs back at the house, and while she’s glad that that is all they are, it hurts to know that this was done to them. They had no choice. 

Of course, neither did she. She was born like this. 

So how much choice did her mother have? 

Elżbieta relinquishes the death grip she has on the chain and drapes it carefully over Sorren’s fingers so she can release the clasp on the locket. The lighting this far up the battlements is poor, but she can see the moment realization clicks on their expression. 

“How did you get this?” they ask, smoothing their thumb over the portrait inside. “It’s an older version of their crest, I think.” 

“A gift given in good faith,” Elżbieta quotes, though she waves it off as Sorren lifts an eyebrow in confusion. “The psychopomp of Lady Moon gave us each a gift. You saw everyone else’s — flashy things that give the people hope and reassurance.” She folds her arms over her chest and falls back against the merlon with a sigh. “This is something for me alone.” 

“Do you think it was your father’s?” 

Elżbieta doesn’t respond right away. She stares at the bonfire and thinks about the expression of the woman on the portrait — how often her mother still made the expression if Elżbieta got too curious. 

She left home to find any answers about her father since her mother refused — couldn’t, she now realizes is more likely. She’s gotten one answer and only a hundred more questions. How much of that will be answered once she goes through Aldrich’s paperwork remains to be seen, but she owes her mother those answers as well. 

“I don’t know,” she finally says, voice low and tired. “If it is, then does that mean he’s dead if the keeper of souls gave it to me? Is it a replica? Did he discard it to keep himself safe, or my mother?” 

Aldrich didn’t know who her mother was on a personal level. Just what she represented to his brother. And even then not well enough, or he wouldn’t have been so surprised to see Elżbieta. 

Sorren tilts their hand back towards her, offering up the locket. “What do you want the answer to be?” 

Good fucking question. 

She presses the tips of two fingers to the crest, the lion rampant and the vines draped across the top of the blazon. “At first, I believed I would find my father, and he would be a monster, and I would kill him. Then I learned about what happened to you, and I thought… What if the same thing had happened to my mother? If he had done something to her that made me this way, well. First I would destroy him, and then I would kill him.”  

“That’s an awful lot of murder on the mind.”  

Elżbieta huffs. “I’m a monster hunter by trade. It was easy to think about it that way.”  

Sorren watches her as they hand the locket back. “And now?”  

“And now…” She runs her thumb over the raised edges of the family crest. Traitor, the voices had called her. “Now I don’t know. I’m still no closer to an answer, except that the monsters hated him. Does that mean I can forgive him if I meet him? I don’t think I’ll really know until I’m standing in front of him.” 

They hum in thought. “Do you have any leads?” 

“Not really. Not unless there’s anything in that mansion.” She runs her thumbnail over her lower lip and stares at the far wall of the keep. A thought comes to her, and she takes a breath — then holds it, thinking. 

Sorren waits, leaning back on their hands. 

It takes another moment longer before she gathers the courage to ask, “Do you want to de-Aldrich that house with me? When there’s a moment to spare. Not that… you’ll have many of those, I’m sure. But if one comes up.” 

They give a low, appreciative whistle. “Wreck anything of that bastard’s self-aggrandizing shit? I’ll fucking make time.” 

“Like that organ?” 

“They don’t call me the Maestro for nothing,” Sorren says in a mocking impression of Aldrich’s accent. “I do wish I could have punched him in the face at least once.” 

“We didn’t get a good look around the house, but I’ve got money on him having at least seven portraits of himself.” She grins as Sorren laughs into the back of their hand. “There were busts of the family in the foyer. You can have dibs on Dragomir as a consolation prize if you teach me how to shoot.” 

They lean against the merlon to give her a considering look. “I’ve seen you shoot, and you’re plenty good already.” 

She flushes from the praise despite herself. Aldrich had critiqued her abilities, but well. He’s dead now and she’s not. And she had shot him several times despite being ‘sloppy’. “I can’t shoot like you.” 

They push away from the wall and gesture her in closer, as if preparing to confide a deep secret. “No one can shoot like me,” they tell her in a stage whisper, and it’s their turn to grin as she laughs. “But sure. I’ll teach you some tips and tricks, and we can use any Errol memorabilia as target practice. So long as I get first crack at anything with Aldrich’s face on it.” 

“Agreed.” 

Sorren holds their fist up into the space between them, and Elżbieta stares down at it. Returning the gesture means that she’s committing herself to the agreement, and she’s so used to playing things as they come, that planning for something grander than the moment to moment seems daunting.  

Misinterpreting her hesitation as confusion, Sorren reaches out with their other hand to curl her fingers into a fist, then guides it up to bump their knuckles together. “Like that.”

“I know what a fist bump is,” she says, and they laugh. “I’m not that much older.” 

“I thought maybe it was a regional thing, and you didn’t know—” 

“Give a girl time to think, would you?” 

They quirk a brow over their electric blue eye. “Were you considering turning us down? After I extended the very rare and quite generous offer to share my sharpshooting knowledge with you?” 

“No,” she answers without hesitation, serious despite their teasing. “I just… Well, I suppose it doesn’t much matter now, does it?” 

Sorren studies her, waits for a follow-up that doesn’t come, then releases a sigh. “Can you at least let me know if you change your mind? Don’t just up and disappear in the middle of the night.” 

“I’ve given you no reason to think that I would.” 

“I’ll be honest, I thought you might before we confronted the Maestro. What with the whole ‘he invited me to his house, maybe I’ll go see what he wants’ bit.”  

Elżbieta hunches her shoulders in embarrassment. “I’ll be honest, I thought I might have gone then, too.” 

“Oh? What stopped you?” 

She shrugs. “Wanted to try something new, I guess.” Not quite a lie, just not the whole truth. She’s not an Errol, she’s a Wrona, and in the end she didn’t owe Aldrich anything. 

Sorren laughs again, then clambers to their feet. Using the grip they still have on her hand, they pull her up after. 

[ryverbind]

Faceless Fixation (Sal Fisher): Bacon King [26]

TW: very slight smut & marijuana use. ALSO 100K ON WATTPAD I LOVE U GUYS SM WTF!!! seriously would not be here without all of you :,) <333

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"Good morning sleepy little princesses!"

I scrunch my closed eyes, wincing at the bright light that pushes past my eyelids.

"Fuck, Ash," I hear Larry groan frustratedly. I open an eye and peek over, noting Emo Buff Daddy himself throwing an arm over his eyes. "It's too damn early!"

The Faces and I camped out in me and Ash's partially empty living room last night-- well, some of The Faces. Todd and Neil ditched us for their own apartment, which is fair. But the other two men decided to hang out.

I'll say that sharing an air mattress with Ash has been quite an experience. I've slept in the same bed with her before, but this kind of bed just causes her to naturally gravitate toward me. Every night lately, I wake up at some point with her legs wrapped around mine in some kind of sailor's knot that I never imagined was possible.

As for Larry and Sal, I have no idea. Sal goes to bed late and he wakes up early. He's a fucking freak of nature.

"Oh, come on, you whiny little bitch," Ash teases her male twin playfully, ripping the blankets off him. "It's nine in the morning! We're going to y/n's to start packing up her stuff at ten. It's wake up time!"

That's true. I glance at the stacks of boxes around the wide expanse of our living room. We don't have furniture yet-- we still need to buy some and wait for the last moving truck to bring the bigger things Ash is taking from Nockfell. But for the most part, we've got everything here, which means my stuff is next.

With a little more grumbled complaints from Larry, the four of us finally leave our new apartment and meet up with Todd and Neil to start heading to my apartment on the other end of town.

An Uber the size of a soccer mom's mini van drops us off in front of my apartment complex and the group of us file out. Todd is busy telling Neil about the diner I worked at literally about two weeks ago-- not that he knows that.

At the mention though, I look over at the diner, feeling a little nostalgic. That is, up until Ophelia walks bounds up to the front door. I blink at my friend, furrowing my brows. What are the chances?

I yell her name, let Ash know where I'm going, then jog over to my friend who looks so pleasantly excited to see me.

"Y/n, holy shit!" She exclaims when I'm close enough, careful not to say my name too loud since Mike undoubtedly told her that The Faces didn't know about me at the time. "Girl, where have you been?"

"Um, back in my hometown, actually," I tell her with a little grin, enveloping her slightly taller figure in a tight hug.

"I heard you got fired," she cringes upon stepping back, looking down at me worriedly. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yea!" I answer, retaining my easygoing smile. "I'm streaming with The Faces. It's proven to be good income. We haven't done any videos lately because we're busy moving into a new apartment, but things have been fine otherwise." I stop my ranting and focus in on the apology I've been meaning to give her. "Also, I am so sorry about what led to me getting fired. Please relay that to Mike, too. I thought he was going to have a heart attack in front of The Faces."

"I know," Ophelia cracks up, covering her mouth with a hand. "I was watching from the bar. Poor, Mike. He could not keep it together! The sperm bank thing was hilarious." She sobers up to tell me, "But congratulations on everything else. I'm happy for you!"

I laugh with her, giving her another hug. "Thank you. But seriously, once I'm settled in my new apartment, I'll invite you guys over to hang out. I miss you," I say honestly, holding her close.

"We'd love to!" She gasps excitedly, squeezing me tight before backing away. "Just send me a text and we'll be there."

"Sounds good," I tell her. "It was nice seeing you! Have a good shift."

"You too!" She says, waving. But she pauses thinking about her words, furrowing her brows. "You don't have a shift. Forgot," she giggles to herself as she backs toward the diner, giving me little finger guns. "Love you!"

"Love you, Lia," I call back with a bright smile. She's such a character.

I walk back to The Faces quickly and lead them up to my apartment, unlocking the door and letting everyone in. I haven't been here in a while.

The day after we came back from Nockfell, Ash and I stopped by to grab some clean clothes and necessities, but I haven't been back since.

I haven't seen my dad since I left LA about two weeks ago. I called him to cry about Ash inviting me to live with her and he fangirled with me over the phone, but besides that, we haven't spoken much.

And Travis, that little ass. When I came back earlier this week, he had left a sticky note on my bed that said, 'Since you wouldn't let me send a dick pic to the singer, here.' He proceeded to scratch out three failures before finally settling on the most mediocre drawing of a dick I've ever seen in my life. But he tried, I guess.

The point is, being back home is nice-- even if it technically isn't home anymore.

Ash, ever the goddess, brought a ton of stuff to cook lunch today. I think pork chops, french fries, and snack packs of chocolate pudding cups. Though, I think it was Larry's influence that got us the snack packs.

Ash sets up shop in my kitchen, outraged at the fact that Dad bought normal salt and not Himalayan salt for her 'exquisite five star meal.'

I sit with the rest of my friends in the living room and make the split second decision to start streaming from my phone. Since I'm not doing anything right now, why not? I've got to make this bread.

I turn my phone around the room, earning a middle finger from Sal who's laid back on my couch watching some kind of play through of a Call of Duty Zombie's Easter Egg. Odd stuff. But he seems to enjoy it so I don't mind, especially given the circumstances of him moving here.

He's been really quiet this week.

Todd and Neil wave, and then I flip the screen to show me and Larry. The man has his face squished against mine so he can get into the screen. I have to adjust my mask with my free hand to make sure the squishing doesn't reveal me at all, but I have a good laugh with him anyway.

After about fifteen minutes, Ash finishes her lunch so I show my subscribers her lovely food then end the stream, grabbing a plate of food to eat with everyone.

As soon as I finish my last bite, there's a knock at my door.

I rush over to the door, ripping it open to see a grinning Nate with a plate of brownies in his hand. What a godsend.

I hop up on my toes to give him a tight hug, feeling about as giddy as I can possibly be. I haven't seen him in weeks at this point.

"Hey, Ducks," Nate drawls in that silky, deep voice of his. His free hand wraps around my waist, his head leaning down to rest against my shoulder. His voice is muffled by my hair as he continues speaking, "Looks like you didn't die back home. Shame."

I swat at his arm, taking an opportunity to snatch the brownies away from him. The smile I give him is a bit of a petty one, but it's a smile nonetheless. "You'd never get that damn screwdriver back if I died, just remember that," I remind him, breaking away from his embrace. His warm palm follows my body though, attached to the small of my back.

Nate rolls his dark eyes, tongue in cheek as he contemplates my reasoning. "Fair enough. I guess it's a good thing you made it back." His gaze has fallen on the rest of my friends now though-- the friends who watch us silently. Ash's cheeks are painted a lovely rouge color but she somehow manages to look our way.

Seeing Ash all flustered around a guy of all things is hilarious. She's so confident with women, and now she's fumbling for the right reaction.

"These are The Faces, as you probably know," I tell Nate, a happy sigh falling past my lips. I start naming them from left to right. "Sal, Ash, Larry, Todd, and his boyfriend, Neil."

Nate nods his head in greeting, lips pressed into a tight line-- his version of a smile at the moment. It's the best he can muster up, poor guy. He absolutely abhors meeting new people.

Larry cracks the code immediately, walking over to Nate and offering a hand. "Nice to meet you, dude," he starts with a cheeky smile.

Nate cracks a smile, grabbing onto Larry's hand and shaking it. "You too."

The rest of the males in the group shake his hand, but Ash simply waves from her spot across the living room. She doesn't move in.

Oh, so she's got it bad.

Still holding onto Nate's brownies, I move toward my kitchen to set them down on the cabinet. "Ash was nice enough to make lunch," I tell my friend, gesturing for him to follow. "We've all eaten already, you can have what's left."

Nate trails in behind me, watching everyone in my living room since the only thing that separates us is the island table. I put down the brownies then move around the table to sit down. Everyone else is busy watching Ash's stream from last night. She gave a quick tour of our new apartment, explaining why we won't be active for a few days and whatnot.

Plate in hand and still the sole occupant of my kitchen, Nate leans against the table opposite me and digs into his food. With just one bite of a french fry, his eyes widen a bit and he tilts his head as if he's just switched realities. "Shit's pretty good," he murmurs, focusing on his plate again to finish his bite.

I watch him with a fond smile, fisting my hands beneath my chin.

That is, until a tatted hand surfaces at my side and snatches a fry off the platter beside me. Nate and I both focus in like a cat to a laser, watching the hand move.

I follow that hand to see Sal leaning against the table, his hair hanging over his shoulders and prosthetic face aimed at Nate while his shoulder brushes mine. I search for his eyes to get a read on him-- figure out why he's here-- but with him facing away from me, the attempt is futile.

Worse though, he doesn't say a word. Just watches my friend. And Nate watches him, a contemplative expression beginning to take over his face.

Are they sizing each other up? My antisocial, shy Nate is actually looking Sal Fisher dead in the eyes without cowering?

I fight the urge to sink in on myself as I watch them and ponder what to say. I don't even know why they're looking at each other like this. It's getting tense. So tense that it suddenly feels difficult to breathe within the boys' general vicinity and I just have zero clue of what's going on.

Then, Sal snaps his head to me. I flinch when his vibrant eyes meet mine.

He looks into my eyes before his gaze begins traveling over my face. He glances here and there, taking in each curve and tilt of the mask shielding me from him. His hand lifts toward me, pushing a strand of hair away from my mouth and I blink at him. A torrent of abusive flutters infest my stomach and my body grows warm. I beg myself not to blush, wishing I could stomp down every single thought about Sal being sweet that suddenly floats into my head.

Everything begins falling apart.

"Oh," Nate mutters from in front of us. I turn to address his sound only to find his eyes a little wide and his mouth gaping a bit. "Oh," he emphasizes the word.

In my peripheral, I catch Sal switching his attention to Nate as well.

Nate immediately throws his hands up in surrender. "I think-- I think I get it." His voice is low, wavering. "We're just friends. It's not like that."

It's my turn to widen my eyes. Are they communicating telepathically or something? Is it just a weird, guy thing? Nate deciphering Sal's wordless claim is even freakier than him claiming me in general.

Sal ignores Nate's words at first, simply looks down at the plate full of fries and grabs another. "Good."

And he's gone.

I stare at the spot Sal populated just a moment ago, flabbergasted beyond belief. Just the slightest touch was a warning, a claim, and acknowledgment all in one. I can't quite process it, but thank God Nate did it all for me.

"What the fuck," he hisses lowly, leaning over the table to talk to me more privately. "You have something to tell me?"

I look at Nate again, noting his hyper finger-tapping and dilated pupils. He just got his drama for the week. No, the entire month.

Meanwhile, I'm short-circuiting. I'm still living in the moment when Sal's fingers brushed the corner of my lips and his gaze pierced through every layer of my skin. But the icy cold, overwhelming fear that suddenly slices through me like the dagger on Sal's neck brings me back to the present. Because Sal just told Nate that we're fucking without saying a single word. Now someone knows.

I can trust Nate with anything, I know that, but I'm dreading the conversation that comes with his knowledge of the situation.

Panicking, I leap up from my chair and lean toward Nate, slapping a hand over his mouth. "Not a word," I whisper to him, trying my best to keep my voice as quiet as possible. "We'll--" I pinch my lips together, shake my head. I can't believe this is happening to me. But I ground myself and do my best to remember that things are fine. Everything's okay. For now. "We'll talk about it later."

Nate nods vigorously beneath my hand, so I slowly pull it away-- watching and waiting for him to screw something up. He doesn't, but he starts conjuring up an evil plan. I can tell by the rabid smirk that begins to form on his lips. "You know I'm going to fuck with him, right?" he whispers to me, narrowing his eyes in some kind of psychotic glee.

Sighing, my head droops and I dread the full day ahead of us. "Please don't," I practically beg him.

"Even getting on your knees won't stop me from taking this opportunity," Nate cackles, grabbing his plate and moving around me to the living room. He even has the audacity to plop down beside Sal, giving him a cheeky grin before popping a fry into his mouth. Sal watches him incredulously before turning back to my TV.

The Faces, Nate, Neil, and myself spend the entire day clearing out and packing up my room. many of my belongings were already packed, seeing as I only moved to LA a year ago. We didn't have to go through the trouble of figuring out my drum kit since it's already in a bunch of boxes.

By the time nightfall came and went, we all grouped up in my living room. Surrounded by boxes and eating food that Larry so graciously ordered for us (Raising Canes, to be specific), Ash took the courtesy of trying to turn some music on to aid the relaxing atmosphere after a hard day's work.

My dear best friend is standing in front of my dad's speakers, scrolling through all of my music to pick a song while the rest of us sit in a circle. To my left, Nate, then Neil, Todd, Sal, Larry, Ash.

The balcony curtains are open to let in the beautiful city lights that manage to reflect into our apartment. Green's, blue's, and yellows engage in a passionate dance along the lines and grooves of my living room's ceiling. Such a hypnotizing light show for myself and my friends.

Ash finally settles on a song, grumbling when an ad plays as soon as she comes over to sit down. "I'm trying to play sad Bullet For My Valentine songs and Spotify won't let me!" she exclaims, plopping down on the floor beside me.

"Sorry," I snicker, dipping a fry into some sauce. "I refuse to give them any of my money."

"I'll pay for it," she scoffs, sending me a playful wink to say she's just joking. I simply roll my eyes and eat my fry, enjoying the lax atmosphere.

We fall into silence for a few minutes and I try not to look over to where Sal sits. He's been incredibly tame today-- so much so that I find myself worrying for him a bit.

He's sitting in front of my sofa, his head laid on the seat cushions. A few tendrils of his cerulean hair clash against the dark color of the fabric. And with his head bent the way it is, I can pick out just about every dip and curve along the length of his throat. A constellation to map out with my lips when the time comes.

"What's the craziest thing you've ever done?" Larry suddenly asks, probably put off by the silence or expressing his boredom.

I pull my attention away from Sal, especially when he picks his head up to look over at Larry.

I turn to Larry too, finding him fidgeting with his septum piercing and gazing at nothing. So his question was for anyone, then.

"I've got a story," Nate says from beside me, his tone a little too chipper for my liking.

I've mentioned before that Nate and I go way back. I mean, way back. So far back that he and I have witnessed the typical teenage depression and feeble attempts to be badass. The difference is that Nate and I went a step farther. We didn't just attempt to be badass-- we were badass. Not that I regret it, but it's something that I sickeningly assumed he would bring up at some point tonight to 'fuck' with Sal. And, dammit, Larry just gave him his opening.

In a moment of weakness, I grab onto Nate's wrist and throw him a look. Furrowed brows and wide eyes to portray that I really don't think this is a good idea.

Nate mimics my look though, leveling with me. This will be his one statement for the night and he's done. That's what his look means... but is it worth it?

I spare a glance at Sal and immediately regret it. His gaze is set on me and Nate's connected limbs, making me immediately let go of the man's wrist. Sal's already jealous enough as is-- I think that's more than enough.

But, my mind wanders back to the time Sal had a woman nearly sitting on top of him when we were in Las Vegas. All the times he was a jackass to me. You know, maybe he's better now, but that doesn't mean I can't screw with him a little too, right?

I wet my lips then turn back to Nate and give him a little nod.

I'll probably regret this later.

"Okay, so," Nate starts, scooting in closer with a winning grin on his face, hands in the air to accentuate his story-telling. I start counting my blessings. "Back in high school-- junior year I'd say-- y/n was dating this total asshole, right? I mean, this abusive, two-timing, unfaithful--"

I cut him off with an embarrassed cringe. "Get to the point, Nathaniel."

"Right, right." He rolls his eyes, waving me off. "My bad. So anyway, yea. He fucking sucked. He was also my best friend at the time." Nate tips his head toward everyone, earning lots of 'oohs' to add to his already hugely inflated ego. He continues with a dramatic bravado. "I caught him cheating again, so I let y/n know. Also cut off my friendship with him by that point."

Ash snorts. "As you should. Continue."

Nate's grin morphs into a bit of an evil smirk as he turns to Ash, talking directly to her now that she's shown more interest than everyone else even thought they're still listening intently.

"So y/n had finally had enough, thank God." He shoots me a pointed look that I only raise my eyebrows at. "And she broke up with him. She was mad. I mean, so mad that the next day she stomped up to me in the hallway, and-- get this-- with no hesitation whatsoever, said to me 'Let's fuck.'"

I hide my face in my hands at the same moment lemonade spews out of Larry's nose.

I hear a few muttered curses from Ash before Nate continues with the story.

"And I was game, duh, but I had to ask what the occasion was 'cuz the day before she was holding hands with my ex-best friend. So she explained everything to me, and..."

I peek through my eyes to see Nate who's smiling proudly at me, giving me an opportunity to continue the story. So with a breath, I lower my hands and try to ignore Sal's blazing gaze on me.

"What better way to get revenge than to fuck your ex's best friend?" I say tentatively, shrugging.

"Best part of that was he got a pic of me hitting it from the back." Nate leans away from the group with a content smile stretching across his face.

Ash giggles while Larry and Neil reach over to fist bump him. Sal looks a tad amused by the prospect too, but a completely different emotion overshadows his pretty eyes.

Todd, ever the scientist, has his own inquiries about the situation. "So, did you two ever date? I can't imagine neither of you were confused after something like that."

I shake my head. "We'd set up ground rules," I answer him. "Nate was a lousy lay," I can't help but chuckle when Nate lightly punches my shoulder. "But revenge made it erotic, I suppose." I continue, at least giving my friend a couple props.

"So no other feelings?" Ash asks, clarifying with her hands held out.

"Never," Nate declares. "No feelings other than the coolest fucking friendship in existence."

Aw, that's cute. I poke out my bottom lip and turn to him. "That's so sweet, Nate." He sends me a genuine smile that almost makes me feel bad about my next words. "But your mom's still cooler than you."

Nate groans, shoving a hand into my face. "The both of you probably beat me up together in your dreams. I don't know what the hell she see's in your evil ass."

I laugh heartily, catching Sal standing up in my peripheral. My attention leaves Nate who starts talking about the many times I was present for his chancla chucking mama's outbursts. Sal walks into my hallway-- most likely heading for the bathroom.

And you know what, I have things to confront him about right now. For one, I need to know how things are going to progress after Nate finding out about us and I can't necessarily wait to find out.

So I wait for a minute before getting up with an excuse about needing something in my room. Then, I wait in front of my bedroom door-- right across from the bathroom.

When Sal opens the door and shuts the light off, his head instantly snaps up to meet my neutral expression. He glances toward the sounds of our friends conversing from my living room then looks back to me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I hiss quietly, gesturing toward the hallway with a hand.

Sal takes leisurely steps toward me. "I should be asking you that," he challenges, voice low and words clipped. He's certainly not happy.

"I think I have a good reason to ask first," I counter, crossing my arms over my chest. "Nate knows about us, so what do we do?"

Sal doesn't answer right away, not until the toes of his shoes tap against mine. I suck in a breath and hold it when his prosthetic nose bumps my mask's. His nonchalant response is, "We fuck."

I swallow against the monsoon of butterflies that suddenly start flapping around my insides. We must stay focused, brothers.

"That's not--" I try to start, but cut myself off. I don't know what to say.

"That's not what?" Sal asks, stooping a bit lower and twisting the knob of my bedroom door. I stagger backward when the door gives.

My heart begins to race, pounding away at the fortress of ribs in my chest as Sal backs me into my room, softly shutting my door behind him. He follows me, cornering me against a wall. I can't even look at him, not when my face is flaming hot and my body is having these ridiculous reactions. I can't even confront him without freezing up now. His anger, his dominance, the upper hand he always has. Something about it is just so enthralling.

"Answer me," He says, voice a bit louder this time. "That's not what?"

"That's not a good excuse," I say quietly, taking a step to the side to move around him. But my attempt at an escape is met with a hand gently wrapping around my throat.

I swallow against his hold, imagining he can feel the action across each of his fingers. He watches me curiously as if that's exactly what's going through his head.

"It's not an excuse," he repeats my claim, tilting his head a bit to look me in the eye. "Was your story about fucking your friend an excuse, then?"

I open my mouth to say something, but shut it. I shouldn't have let Nate tell the story. It had the desired effect-- Sal is clearly feeling some kind of way about it, but I feel like it definitely wasn't necessary. What was the point?

"Are you going to fuck him again?" Sal asks, dropping every hint of emotion to portray how serious he is about the topic.

"No," I rush to say, tripping over the word. I catch my breath that won't stop running from me. "It was once. I was... I was being honest when I said he was a lousy lay. We were seventeen." I mentally apologize to Nate, knowing he wouldn't care either way because I doubt I was any good at sex either.

I haven't talked with Sal in a while. Not one-on-one. Not since right before we left Nockfell, which was nearly a week ago at this point. Everything else has been the two of us sneaking glances and scooting past with a quick 'Excuse me.' Was I so desperate to get his attention that I had to make him upset to do it? I could have just texted him on Discord or something.

Sal's quiet, letting me think about the consequences of my actions, I'm sure. But the longer he doesn't speak, the more I notice the aggression in his eyes lessens.

His thumb slowly begins to rub along my pulse point, feeling my erratic heart race the same way he did the first time he ever gripped my throat. The skin on his finger is rough, calloused. Guitar playing hands and all. The repercussions of art scratching along such a sensitive part of me.

He taps against a spot on the side of my neck, his gaze snapping to the area he's focused on. "I want to bite you right here," he murmurs quietly.

I guess he's been craving me too.

"So do it," I whisper, drunkenly taking in the way his eyes suddenly meet mine again. I don't need alcohol when Sal's around. He's proven to be more than enough intoxication.

"I can't," he replies lowly, a slight rasp to his voice. "If I do that, I'll fuck you."

I bite down on my bottom lip and think about my poor friends who are waiting for us to return. I also think about how much I've worried for Sal and how badly I've wanted to be near him all week. I can just tell them I dragged him over here to help me look for what I needed, right?

"So do it," I repeat myself, giving him the go ahead.

Sal closes his eyes for a few seconds, probably weighing his options like I just did. It seems that lust wins his internal battle though because within the next second, he leans toward me, buries his prosthetic face into the side of my neck.

I turn my head toward him, shutting my eyes when the scent of his hair envelops me whole. His azure hair, silky against my cheek, moves with him as he trails his nose lightly along the length of my throat.

"I've wanted to taste you all week," he admits quietly, the words a breathy whisper that I can hardly hear due to his prosthetic.

I try my hardest to suppress a shiver, but I can't help but clutch his hair in my hand, tugging at the long strands.

Sal hums, releasing my throat from his grip to hold me to him by the nape of my neck instead. His other hand ghosts up my body, softly trailing up my side and across my breasts all the way over to where he hides against me.

He pulls away from me just a bit, pulling his prosthetic over his head before returning to his place against my neck. I can't help but hold my breath as his scarred lips skim along my throat, leaving the smallest of kisses only when he feels the need.

I pinch my lips together and tug on his hair again when he drags on the slight touching for far too long. He chuckles quietly before finally obliging me, digging his crooked teeth into the spot he so desperately wanted to bite earlier.

I yelp, melting against him just as he pulls me closer to him with a hand on my waist. He slaps the other hand over my mouth to shut me up and I blink at the action, just a little miffed up until he licks the abused skin to soothe it.

He sucks the flesh on my neck into his mouth, leaving marks in a horrendously obvious spot that I know I'll regret later but... I don't regret it now. I can't even find it in me to care about having to hide the dark red marks he'll leave on me.

Sal continues mapping out his artwork along my skin, holding me hostage against his body. His leg finds its way between mine and he lifts his knee, creating friction against my clothed clit. I moan against his hand, making him press harder against my mouth. I grab at the hem of his shirt, squeezing the fabric in my fist as my other hand buries itself further into his hair.

I feel faint, not because of a lack of air, but because of a lack of him.

Sal moves his way up my neck kissing along my jaw before pausing in front of me, his marred nose brushing along mine. His lips are parted and swollen, the tips of his canines peeking past his top lip. And his gaze tethered to the hand that covers my mouth. I watch him, crumbling a bit as he pushes his knee into me again.

He smiles a bit, showing of a hint of that dimple that could bring me to my knees faster than anyone or anything else.

I gently bite down on his finger, causing him to slowly pull his hand away from me. I gasp for breath when his hand finally moves, running my tongue along my bottom lip. Sal's eyes track the movement and I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows.

His knee drops and he pulls me just a fraction of a centimeter closer to him by the back of my neck.

Something about the way his gaze doesn't leave my lips makes me freeze up.

No. No.

"Twitterpated." The word leaves my lips before I can even realize I thought of it.

Sal's hands are off of me the exact moment I formed the first syllable and he takes a baby step away. I warily watch the way his eyes widen, like he's surprised himself. And he's still close, just a hairsbreadth or two away, but he has room to regain some clarity.

I'm about to apologize when a knock sounds on my door, followed by, "Ducks? Can I come in?"

I gasp, my knees going weak for a moment-- and this time it's not because of Sal.

Unceremoniously and without reason, I shove Sal away from me. He stumbles backward, catching himself with a hand on my bed and an offended grunt.

I reach a hand toward him to offer help that's far too late, my eyes wide as I cringe at the sheer audacity that this situation has slapped me with. But remembering that my dad is literally outside the door, I motion to Sal's prosthetic that's limply hanging from his left hand.

"Put it on!" I whisper harshly.

Sal realizes I'm saving him, saying his thanks through wide eye contact alone as he buckles the prosthetic to his face again.

"Um," I say, loud enough for my dad as I glance around my room. I spot an Amazon box and chuck it at Sal, managing to smack him in the prosthetic he just finished placing onto his face.

He throws his hands up and narrows his eyes at me while I mutter an embarrassed, "Fuck!" To my surprise, Sal chuckles.

I take a breath and sit down in front of my computer, ripping the drawer on my desk open to look like I was rifling in it. "Yea, dad," I call and I watch Sal's body go rigid in my peripheral. "You can come in."

I glance back at Sal who frantically unfolds the flaps on the boxes, practically burying his head into it. I can't help but laugh at the visual.

My dad cracks the door open, peeking in with a hand over his eyes so he doesn't see anything unsightly. "Sorry, just wanted to check in. I'm stopping by to grab my laptop and, apparently, Raising Canes. Then I'm heading to the airport." He gives me a reassuring, gentle smile.

I stand up, ditching my prop excuse and walking over to hug my dad. "No problem, we were just..." I look back at Sal who's finally poked his head out of the box. "Looking for Nate's screw driver," I continue, turning back to my dad.

My father, Bruce, bacon king himself, slackens his expression to tell me he's not buying it and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I rub a hand over my forehead before gesturing to Sal. "This is Sal," I tell my dad, "Sal, this is my dad."

"Good evening, sir. Nice to meet you," Sal says politely and it takes everything in me not to snap my neck on my way to look at him incredulously. Where the hell did these manners come from?

My dad smiles at Sal, waving to him. "Nice to meet you too, son."

Then he leans toward me, his grey eyes beyond amused as he says, quiet enough so Sal doesn't hear, "You have a hickey the size of Australia on the side of your neck, sweetheart."

Oh my God.

I loose a pained breath, slapping a hand over the side of my neck that Sal had attacked just moments ago.

"Other side, honey," Dad says and I think I'm seriously going to faint while I slap my other hand to the opposite side of my neck-- just in time for him to cackle and continue with, "Just fucking with you. You were right the first time."

I watch my dad with wide eyes, fumbling around my brain for words. All I manage to come up with is, "Is blood really thicker than water, Bruce?"

My dad chuckles lightheartedly, clapping a hand onto my shoulder as an apology and squeezing gently. "I'll leave you be, Ducks. I'm going grab my things-- I'll check back in a bit to say goodbye."

And then he shuts the door again. That bastard, I hate how much I love him.

I turn back to Sal with a troubled sigh, but I feel a bit revitalized when I see the mortified look in his eyes.

"Oh my God," Sal voices my thoughts and I laugh lightly, walking over to take the random Amazon box from him.

"Don't worry, he isn't crazy," I try to reassure Sal as I drop the box into the corner behind my desk. "Can't say the same for when he heard about me and Nate though."

"If you were seventeen, I can just about imagine," Sal murmurs more to himself than to me. "Sorry. About your neck." He says a bit louder this time, but remorse taints his tone. "About all of it."

His tone and words tug at my heartstrings. "Don't worry about it," I tell him, making my voice a little gentler than normal. "I was..." I pause, thinking of how to word my reaction properly. "Scared."

Sal snorts. "Me too. I didn't mean for it to look the way it did, I was just fascinated."

"When are you not?" I quip, closing the drawer to my desk.

"I thought we were being nicer to each other," Sal counters my statement with one that bites. I turn my head over my shoulder, noting the fire in his eyes. He's hungry for a fight.

"Since when?" I turn to him, leaning back against my desk with a minuscule, barely there smile on my lips. "I thought our arrangement was sex, not friends."

Sal tilts his head a bit. "We're not friends?"

I straighten, blinking at him as embarrassment flares within me again. A tremor of flutters makes my heart skip a beat at the same time and my mind goes completely blank.

"I--I mean--" I rush to say, swallowing past the stutter. "Yea, we're friends. I guess. If you want. I don't--"

Sal laughs. He closes his eyes as the lovely sound echoes around my room. Then he stands and saunters to my door, quick to make his exit.

He turns the knob, back to the door as he says his parting words. "You don't stand a single chance, y/n."

No, I really don't.

I sigh, grabbing concealer and foundation to dab onto the pretty mark on my neck, making sure it's covered as much as possible before I follow after Sal.

When I get through the hallway and resurface in my living room, I find my dad standing right outside my friend's little circle on the floor. He turns to me when I walk in, his dad radar making him look directly at my neck. When he finishes his visual examination, he throws me a thumbs up. I roll my eyes, trying to ignore the shame coursing through me.

"Hey, Ducky-Duck," Ash chirps from the floor. "The guys and I are about to head out. Are you coming tonight?"

I smile at my dear friend. "I think I'm going to stay here tonight, hang out with Nate before I move out for good."

Ash nods her understanding, bright smile still lighting up her entire face. "Sounds good! We'll start bringing your things over tomorrow, right?"

I nod back to her, "Yep, I'll be up bright and early."

"Cool," she says, looking over to Nate who watches the exchange. "And you're always welcome at our apartment too. Just so you know." Her smile widens a bit.

Some part of me thinks they're going to end up hooking up somewhere in the future.

I watch the moment Sal realizes he has nothing to worry about. Nate smiles wickedly at Ash, all but confirming that we can expect that to be a thing at some point.

I hug my friends and my dad goodbye, watching as they file out of the apartment. When I return to my living room, Nate's sitting on my couch with a joint between his fingers.

I fight the laugh that bubbles up my throat, especially when he glances up at me with raised eyebrows, asking an unspoken question.

"Let's go to the balcony. Dad would kill me if I burned his couch," I say, grabbing Nate's arm and pulling him up to drag him outside.

We keep the doors open, sitting beneath the clear night sky while passing the joint between the both of us. Smoke materializes in the air through various, white puffs that dissipate as they climb higher and higher.

It's quiet for a bit-- well, as quiet as city nightlife can be. Muted laughter, music, and car honks echo off the wall of my apartment. Makes my nights a little less lonely.

"You gonna tell me what all that was about?" Nate breaks our silence, taking a hit from the joint before moving it toward me.

I take it between my index and thumb and examine it. "We've been..." I pinch my lips together as I ponder the situation I've gotten myself in. I take my own hit before passing it back to Nate. I blow the smoke into the open air before continuing my explanation. "We've been fucking around for... jeez, like, two months now."

"Two months!?" Nate repeats, flabbergasted as he holds the butt of our shared joint between his index and middle fingers. "That long?"

I chew on the inside of my cheek. "Yea, it's been a while. It started online, shockingly."

"Damn." Nate releases an audible breath, dark eyes glancing between my own. "Phone sex?" He quirks an eyebrow.

I grin. "Yea."

He fist pumps the air, giggling to himself. "So, does anyone else know? You seemed a little apprehensive about me saying anything."

I shake my head. "The rest of our friends would tell us to call it off if they found out, which is why we haven't said anything-- or, well, that's what I think they'd do. No one else knows. Just you-- and my fucking dad now." I rub a hand down my face at the reminder, whimpering at the sheer fact that my dad knows that something is going on between Sal and I.

Nate chokes on a cackle, leaning forward in his chair to launch into a coughing fit. I watch, pretending to be unimpressed even as a little smile works onto my face. I guess it's a little funny. What are the odds, right?

"Your dad? That shit's priceless," Nate sighs, catching his breath. "Why not try a relationship?"

"God, no," I shoot the words out immediately. I don't even want to think about it. "He and I have an arrangement. It's just sex. Neither of us have hinted at anything else. And besides, I don't want a relationship." My voice grows quieter toward the end.

Nate's expression is filled with pity. "Y/n, I know your last relationship wasn't great. Hell, we relived that bullshit tonight with the story." He laughs lightly at the reminder of everyone's shocked reactions to him and I hooking up in high school. "But don't let that stop you from pursuing anything new. Sally Face seems to be pretty into you," he continues gently.

I snort, looking away. "It's just basic attraction. I think he has his own shit to work through and I do too."

"You're throwing excuses at the wrong fucking person," Nate says knowingly. "I saw you stealing glances every two minutes."

I turn my head to him, glaring. I throw a quick, discreet punch at his arm and don't feel bad about it when he hisses in pain.

But I have to think about what he said too. Sal and I had a rather frantic run-in with each other tonight-- one that ended just as frantic as it began. I used our safe word for the first and probably the only time ever. Part of me feels guilty about it, but another part remembers that I was justified. Sal has always been understanding. He wasn't mad, backed off as soon as I let him know.

I let the thoughts marinate for a few moments before expressing them to Nate.

"I think he tried to kiss me tonight," I admit quietly, cracking my knuckles as I watch the stars light up the sky. My cheeks grow pink as I voice the idea, afraid that it'll somehow prove to be true.

I catch Nate's head turning toward me in my peripheral. "And how do you feel about that?"

I laugh humorlessly. "Not great considering I used our safe word."

Nate sits up a little straighter, still looking at me. "Oh, damn. That bad?"

I nod, tilting my head down with a mixture of shame and fear. I don't know how to feel about it because a small part of me wants it, but the rest of me is terrified.

Nate takes a deep breath. "If it's what you said, a sex arrangement, then you have nothing to worry about. It's surface level, right? So what's wrong with a kiss? I'm honestly pretty shocked you haven't kissed at this point. Most people do, especially for hookups."

He has a point.

"I know," I tell him honestly. "When things started, the prosthetic was still a barrier. He's... he's started taking it off around me though. So we've been able to do... more."

"If he's taking the prosthetic off, then he trusts you. So why don't you trust him?"

Nate's question hits me a little deeper than intended. I gulp over the words, organizing them in my head and thinking hard about it. I do trust Sal. He hasn't led me astray, he's been kinder lately, he's always done exactly as I asked. If I express my worries about kissing, I don't have a single doubt in my mind that he'd take it seriously and accommodate me as best as possible. I just have to work up the courage to let it happen.

The next issue though...

"He played it off though," I sigh, shifting in my seat to face Nate. "He apologized, said it wasn't what it seemed like and that he was just fascinated. But, the way he was looking at me... I don't think he was telling the truth."

I peek at Nate through my lashes, noting his concerned, serious expression. "I think that your fear of it scared him. Maybe he didn't want you to call things off over that, so he didn't tell you the complete truth."

I tilt my head, considering. I've done the same exact thing with Sal-- fibbed and left out information to ensure that we'd continue our arrangement. It makes sense, as sad as it is.

"Are you sure you don't have any feelings for him, y/n?" Nate asks, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

I open my mouth to spit out a very loud 'no,' but I stop and think about it. Damn Nathaniel for making me actually think about things tonight.

Everything that made me hate Sal in the beginning is practically nonexistent now. All the anger, the pain, the fights. Sure, we still bicker here and there, but it's for fun now. It's never serious, never deep. It's a lot like Nate and I's friendly banter. Besides that, Sal has been excellent in pretty much every box on the check list.

So, do I like him?

"I mean," I whisper. "I definitely have a crush." I admit, albeit with a bit of force considering it's the last thing I want to admit.

"Well, duh. He's got a crush on you, too. Why else would you guys be fucking?" Nate sighs dramatically, flicking his wrist with a prideful flair I haven't seen from him in a very long time. I think he had fun tonight. The thought makes me smile.

I shrug in response even though the thought of Sal crushing on me does make me feel a bit gooey on the inside.

Wait, gooey?

I groan, slapping my hands over my face and grumbling a muffled, "Fuck."

Nate guffaws, his chair creaking as he sits up quickly. He shoves my arm. "You do like him!"

I shove his arm back, swallowing back tears of surprise, fear, and regret. The audacity of my own emotions. "If I do like him," I start, leveling a glare at Nate which makes him sober up quickly. "It's not enough. Nowhere near. And besides, he's still a shitbag." I don't mean those words as much as I used to.

"That's true," Nate mumbles to himself. "You two have a little feud online, don't you?" His brows furrow and he looks down at the small space between us. "Oh, wait." He snaps his head up to me. "What about that other guy? What was his name..."

"Oh, shit," I whisper, covering my mouth with my hand. I've been so blinded by Sal that I forgot about him. "North."

"Yea! That's it," Nate points at me, eyebrows raising now. "People online are saying you're dating."

I shake my head. "No, I've only met him a handful of times. Spoken even less. I think he's definitely got the hots for me," I snicker at the idea. "It's nothing like what's going on with Sal and I though."

"Doesn't seem like that online," he murmurs, brows raised suggestively. I scoff in retaliation, rolling my eyes at him. But then he narrows his gaze in my direction, scrutinizing me from the minute distance between us.

I watch with bated breath, waiting for whatever's brewing in his head to leave his mouth.

"Why the hell are you still wearing your mask? In fact, why are you wearing a mask at all?"

The reminder washes over me like a bucket of ice water. I suck in a quick breath, hold it as humiliation alters my expression. Nate takes my reaction seriously, sobering up the friendly banter we had going on for a bit.

"You're... going to get a kick out of this one," I whisper, chewing on my lips. At this point, the situations I've stuck myself in are becoming ironically hilarious. Who does this to themselves?

Nate's face drops as he seems to catch the hint that I buried myself in something stupid again. "What did you do."

Statement, not a question.

I suck on my teeth, averting my gaze to avoid seeing the dumbfounded look of pity and awe that'll take over his handsome face the moment I spit it out.

"I met him once. Before I ever talked to him online. He was at the diner-- he hated me. I... I panicked. So beneath the mask, my face is a girl named Lexi to him. She has no relation to myself or Vi." I spit the words out quickly, frantically, so much so that I worry he may not have been able to catch all of it.

I scrunch my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose as my body grows warm. Saying it out loud feels so much worse than thinking it.

Why am I doing this to him? Isn't this just... insanely cruel? To look Sal in the eyes and play with his head. To know he thinks I'm two different people and never say a word about it.

I mean, at least he doesn't think I'm three people anymore. And besides, he took my reveal as y/n well, right? So maybe the same would go for Lexi's reveal.

"You're such a dumb fuck." Nate shakes his head, flabbergasted. "What are you going to do about that?"

Tongue in cheek, I ask myself the same question. What do I do? Hope for the best, that he just somehow never finds out or grows curious? Wait until he gets tired of me?

I blink around the frustration and fear that starts to rip at my insides. "I really don't know."

Nate hums, pursing his lips. "Well," he says, voice much lower now. "Seems like you have a lot to think about, huh?"

"When I'm not high? Yea. Definitely." I laugh lightly as Nate sends me a reassuring, friendly smile before turning to watch the sky. I mimic him, gazing at the cloudless night.

Every once in a while, I find that the color of some of the stars matches Sal's eyes perfectly. I wonder if he'd think the same.

-------

A/N::::::::::::::: happy 100k everyone!! to ALL my readers, i want to start by expressing my immense gratitude. I just know that 14 year old ryver has tears streaming down her face knowing that we got here. never in my life did i think this would actually happen to me, but even more than that, i never expected to make such wonderful friends in all of you along the way. 100,000 views on a piece of work i created feels absolutely impossible, but i would not be here without all of you. through this process, you've all been so kind, helpful, loving, and wonderful. the right words to explain how much i love you do not exist. this feeling is incomparable to any other and not a single concept on this earth could possibly capture it's essence completely. THANK YOU! from the bottom of my little heart, thank you so much. i love you all with every fucking bit of me. we're all little fish floating down a lone river in appalachia-- we're all together in some universe or another and i wouldn't have it any other way <3

all week, i've been thinking hard about this chapter and how much i've wanted to give you guys a good one to celebrate! when it started i was like :/ don't like itttt. BUT i had a couple drinks (DO NOT RECOMMEND-- DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL FOOLS) and managed to pump out about 5,000 more words in one night! 5,000 that were completely unplanned, but ended up working out really well. i fell IN LOVE with nate and y/n's little interaction at the end :3

as of right now, it's 1:49am on wednesday, june 12th. we sit at 99.5k and i've been tweaking all day to come home and finish this chapter for you guys. i'm counting down the minutes, counting down the views left to go and listening to twenty one pilots. i feel like i'm living the life i've always wanted and it's all thanks to you. thank you for everything, my loves. i love you all with my entire heart and soul! have a wonderful morning, day, evening, night! until next time <3

p.s. you won't have to wait longer cuz GUESS WHO'S FINISHING A SAL LORE CHAPTER TO CELEBRATE TOO WOOOOOOOO!!!!

p.s.s. My little brother made a Sally Face mask (he's super duper talented) and let me borrow it for pics with my 100k cake. It's currently on Instagram (which is ryverbind)

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[aashi-heartfilia]

BnHA 392: Ochako gets stabbed. No she's not dying.

Yeah so what if she got stabbed? With stabby pants Toga around this was bound to happen.

Doesn't mean that she is gonna die!

And even if it looks serious, I don't think it will have a serious consequence or anything. She might as well get a cool scar like All Might at most.

And I don't even wanna talk about that grab scene on the next page. I think it's a mistake that will be corrected during the volume publish, remember how inking on Ochako and Toga wasn't on point either in the last chapter.

With Hori's declining health, I think it's a very likely case.

Anyways, we'll have to wait now for two weeks to see if our babygirl is all right or not.

Contrary to popular belief, I think she's fine. Great infact, because now she'll fight more seriously.

Remember how in her battle vs Bakugo during SF, when even her friends underestimated her and thought she needed help?

But she proved to everyone that she's more than capable of handling herself when the time calls for it?

And this is a battle she cannot afford to lose, we have lives on the line. Not just her fellow heroes but Toga herself is also in danger and Uravity is a hero who wants to see everyone smile.

I think this is bound to come sooner or later. Like what kind of hero Uravity will be?

Like Ingenium is a hero who guides lost children to their home, Uravity will find a way to save Toga and the entire battlefield that is dealing with Sad Man's Death Parade.

Now, it's more important than ever because we've seen that Pixie Bob is down for the count. She was the main person containing the clones but now that she is down and Toga has created multiple doppelgangers of our beloved heroes, everyone is at a risk of getting stabbed.

Since the last two chapters were about Toga, I think the next chapter will be about Ochako.

Personally I would love an Ochako Uraraka: Origins chapter and then a Rising Chapter following it!

This will be one of the biggest moments of the series where a character gets an Origin and a rising chapter simultaneously.

A chapter that shows us Ochako's life before she joined UA.

Just like Toga, we only had a glimpse of Ochako's past. Bonus material suggests that she used to sleep to save money and bear the heat in summers because her parents could not afford an AC. But that's not all.

Horikoshi has been hinting at this dynamic for a long time. So I feel like there has been something about Ochako that has been hidden from us, as readers.

It was always hidden in plain sight, just like how those postcards were a foreshadowing for Ochako getting stabbed in the stomach.

The author said that there is a scene between TOGACHAKO that he is itching to draw.

Personally I don't know what scene it is. It could be Toga stabbing Ochako in the recent chapter, or it could be something entirely different. We won't know for sure until this arc concludes.

As for this arc, I think this fated battle will last for at least 3-4 more chapters.

Everything is in complete chaos and it will take time to wrap this up. Even if a miracle were to happen, I don't see a direct solution to TOGA's Sad Man Parade unlike Dabi where Shouto just reaching on time was everything.

Not only Ochako will need to convince Toga to stop her Parade but also deal with the existing ones that are running rampant around the battlefield.

Also, can I just say how much I loved Ochako just casually flying over the entire parade?

Also her jet boosters are finally coming in handy!

Also I just loved how much control she has over gravity now. She literally pulled both Toga and Tsu out like it was nothing! Plus the Twice clones surrounding her!!

Toga using the blood from the battlefield totally caught me off-guard. She really is playing 5D chess now.

Guess, it goes to show you how smart she actually was up until now.

Ochako and Toga are two faces of a coin. Of course, they're both smart.

Plus I think Toga is still not using her full power, as the Curious vestige suggested. She's still hiding her true self.

And maybe that's the answer to everything. Ochako will try to appeal to whatever goodness is left of her.

Ochako knows that Quirks are nature and just like Toga, she's been hiding her true feelings all along. And I think the feeling that she's been hiding is envy.

She was jealous of how 'normal' everyone else is and how they get to express their love and she doesn't. It is not a form that society will accept.

But in the world of MHA, how do you even decide what is normal and what isn't?

Her parents literally denied her humanity.

I also loved what Tsuyu said here about Heroes following the rules. If killing was the only way, Ochako and the heroes were more than capable of doing that.

But it's not about killing or arresting her anymore but rather about confronting a little girl who has been rejected her entire life, even by her own parents.

It's about a young girl with a big dream who wants to see everyone smile and yes that includes Toga too.

It was never a story about killing people because violence leads to even more violence, it's about understanding and sympathy, care and compassion and this is how true heroes are born.

Cheers! Sunshine!

~Thanks for reading

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Exhibitionism

Dabi first started doing cam shows mostly as a joke. He didn't think that anyone would actually tune in, and some friends of his that are sex workers told him that kind of work was more reliable than arson jobs, though they kept their ears out for him on that front. He said that he couldn't risk getting an infection and not two weeks later they hooked him up with one of their hand-me-down laptops and a SD webcam along with an account they'd set up in his name. Try it once, they'd said. His look is so unique and his voice is exactly the kind of thing that other people will be interested in. The fact it had not only worked, but he had gotten off harder than he had in his entire life told him that he was absolutely fucked and that he wasn't going to be able to just stop like he'd thought. He'd started doing the cam shows, and soon got enough money to turn that into his primary source of income, and in a matter of months, enough that he was able to get a better camera, have an apartment of his own, stay healthy, survive. Things were good. 

He had been intrigued when he was reached out to on his profile asking him if he had ever considered putting on a live event. Dabi had planned on dismissing that out of hand, but the account that reached out proclaimed to be the official one for some big, well-regarded sex club in Kamino. After a little back and forth with the owner, a man named Tomura Shigaraki, they set his compensation, a date, and finalized the rest of his details. 

And the first time he had been there, in a gaudy red room with a wall of mirrored glass between him and the crowd of people who had shown up to watch him, Dabi had been floating so high afterward that he had a hard time focusing at all when Shigaraki came in after the show to check in. Thankfully, the other man was a practiced dom in and out of the club and he had just made sure that Dabi had water, a snack, and enough blankets to stop shivering until he came all the way down from the high. And when Dabi was sane again and he got his cut of ticket sales and the base fee they'd agreed to, he had been more than enticed to come back to V for a few more sessions. 

It took about seven before the flirting that had been a low simmer between he and Duster had gotten hot enough that he asked if the club owner would partner with him for one of the shows. That first time lived in infamy because it was the only time that Dabi had managed to cum five times in a single session, and he'd been sobbing at the end of it. So that became a bit more frequent as well, though they always kept things very professional outside of the red room. Not like Dabi was dreaming of the next time he could hop on Shig's dick day and night or anything. 

He wonders if it would be as good if he didn't know that there were so many eyes on them as Shigaraki holds him on the bed. They're facing the mirrored window, his back to Tomura's chest, hips framed by Shigaraki's legs, his arms tied behind him as his temporary dom touches him. A tremble goes through his skin as he does, reaching between his legs to spread him open, ignoring his cock that is already achingly full and choked with a cock plug that is stretching his insides and holding his pleasure tight behind his head. 

"Look at that, your pretty pussy is already dripping." Tomura's voice is low in his ear as he rubs his fingers over Dabi's hole, already soaked with lube from preparing for this session. "You can't help it, can you? Such a needy attention whore."

Dabi whines, "Like it when you show me off, Daddy." 

"I know you do, princess." Tomura presses a kiss to his cheek and then he reaches for the length of seven black anal beads that's waiting for them on the bed. "Now let's show everyone just how greedy your messy cunt is." The first bulb isn't that big, but the sensation of the solid silicone being pushed inside is nice. It's not the thing that has him moaning though. It's Tomura murmuring, "That's it, I'm going to stuff you full, and when we're finished, I'm going to pull them all out and show everyone how wide you're stretched. They're going to see all the way inside of you, princess, and they're all going to be so jealous that I'm the one who gets to paint your walls with cum." Dabi trembles in the other's embrace, his cock aching sharply from being plugged as Tomura pairs the words with pushing the second bead inside of him, nearly double the size of the first. He can see them in the mirror, but Dabi doesn't care about that. He just looks because he knows that beyond the thin barrier, there are people watching him as hungrily as his hole is opening up for the beads. Hotter just because he likes to put on a show and because he knows that he and Shigaraki always put on the best.

[gabessquishytum]

tw suicide mentioned

I read the ask you got about Hob working for a suicide hotline and answering Morpheus's call and loved it a lot and it made me think...what about some kind of modern reverse Sheherazade AU?

In the original tale (well, how I remember it), Sheherazade marries a king who is known for killing his wives on the morning following their wedding. Sheherazade doesn't want to die and has come up with a plan: she is a great storyteller and, in the evening, she would start telling her husband a story but would stop before the end. Her husband, desperate to know how the story goes, would thus allow her to live one more day. Only the next evening, she would not only finish the first story but also start a new one she would again stop before the end and would therefore be granted a new day of living, where she would again start a new story and so on and on...(for 1001 nights and by then the king has fallen in love and doesn't want to kill her anymore).

In this AU, I can see Hob, suicide hotline worker, receiving a call from M who is one step away from commiting suicide and who's asking him for a reason to live.

Hob is alarmed and, like said in the other ask, first makes sure M is not in immediate danger before he starts to list little things of life, often overlooked but who are actual wonders making life so much better in his eyes (chimneys,..)

But M still doesn't seem convinced. His wife is gone, along with his son. His life is over. There is nothing left for him... So Hob decides to tell him a tale - not one he needs to look too far to find, as it is his very own story - the story of when Hob himself hit rock-bottom. So "once upon a time, there was a man who thought his life was over. His wife had died, leaving him alone with their young son. His salary alone was not enough to pay the rent for their apartment and he was this close to being evicted, while the social services were threatening to take his kid away..." This is a grim start for a story - and had been a grim time for Hob - but the important part is that the story doesn't end there. Because, even then, Hob had been fiercely holding on to life. For his son, first, (for he couldn't abandon him!), before he realised it was still ok to live for himself and enjoy all the good things life had to offer.

Hobb tells M all of this. The ups and the downs and how "that man" in the story was able to hold on, fight, rely on friends and finally get better, find stability and even happiness.

The thing is, Hob doesn't have the time to finish his story. It wasn't planned; he simply went into a bit too much details and didn't realise how much time has passed. But at this point, he's already stayed on the phone for longer than he was supposed to (even crisis hotline volunteers have schedules, and the next one has been waiting his turn near Hob's phone for a few minutes already).

M seems a bit better than before, but Hob isn't reassured. Since M doesn't want to talk to another volunteer, Hob suggests M calls back on the next day (or the next week maybe?), and asks for him, so he can hear the happy end of his story. And M accepts, promise he won't do anything stupid until then. This is a small victory.

And M does call, and asks for Hob, and Hob tells the end of his story. M seems better than the first time Hob heard him, but let's be honest, he isn't doing too good either. Since M had seemed interested in his first story, Hob decides to start telling a second one, this time loosely based on something that happened to a friend. But then again, he hasn't got the time to finish it! So, again, Hob and Morpheus "fix an appointment" for the next day (week?).

And things go on and on like this, M (Morpheus as he tells Hob at some point) calls and listen to Hob stories, Hob never finishing them (he does end up doing it on purpose) and forcing Morpheus to stay alive and call again to hear it! And maybe Hob is not the best of storytellers, but he isn't anything close to bad either, and Morpheus is always eager to hear the tales he comes up with.

At first, the stories mostly rely on Hob's experiences, those of his friends or things he's heard on the news, in a bar,... but with time, he slowly comes up with some of his own ideas, starts to include elements of sci fi, of fantasy sometimes...

And somehow, Morpheus starts to participate in the storytelling, adding his own ideas to that big tale they are creating together - one of pirates, of princes and knights and of star crossed lovers who reunites under the moonlight... (Maybe Morpheus used to be a writer and Hob is the spark that gets him into creating again). At this point, Hob has given Morpheus his personal phone number and Morpheus as stopped talking about killing himself.

(and yes they have fallen in love along the way and end up together 😊)

Another amazig Ficlet in my inbox!!!! Yayayayay!! I love the idea of a modern take on Scheherazard, it's such a great way for these two in particular to get together. I also like the idea of Hob being a kind of crappy storyteller, but Dream WANTS to live and he's clinging onto this one thing, even though the stories aren't particularly good, it's enough to just get him through day after day. It really is the little things. And the stories are sometimes (deliberately) so bad, Dream just HAS to contribute and help Hob with the telling. It awakens the part of himself that he thought way already dead. Finding out that his creativity has survived gives him hope that the rest of him might survive, too.

And if he can survive, then he can properly live, can't he? With Hob’s help of course. It doesn't have to be easy. It's not MEANT to be easy! But Hob isn't going to let him give up, ever <3

[anticanonsposts]

Lunar Embrace-Chapter 3

cw: fem pronouns used, allusions to nsfw themes kind of, spooky?

word count: 1,516

The door finally creaked open as she heard heavy footsteps.

‘Hello?’ his accented voice chirped out, his eyes widening when he finally recognizes who is at his door. 

He’s wearing dark gray work pants, he was probably chopping wood before the sudden weather change. He also has a black t-shirt and a green and black flannel. She briefly wondered where he possibly bought his clothes, she doesn’t know anyone who sells them in anything near his size. Her mind wandering was short lived though, she quickly shook herself out of it to answer him.

‘Hello König! I had a lot of extra goodies around the house..l’ Dammit don’t say they were extra, that makes him seem like this was an afterthought, and it was VERY planned. “I thought I would bring you some, since you usually don’t get extra things at the market. And I thought you would like them.” As she finished she swears that König’s shoulders lowered a bit, easing his tension and his expression softened ever so slightly. 

“I-I, why don’t you come in?” he quickly says ushering her inside by putting his left arm around her shoulders.

Stumbling in, she sets her many bags down and attempts to take off her boots but her balance gets thrown off and her arm goes flying out and reaches König’s shoulder, to steady her.

“Sorry” she says meekly. 

“It’s ok, you were falling” he replies, shaking his head with a slight smile crossing his face. 

Now, having her boots off and standing next to the mat he had in front of his door she starts again, “Anyways, like I said, I brought you a few things that I thought you would like.” 

“Thank you, but you really didn’t have to make the journey all the way here, I could have waited until next week.” he replies.

“It’s ok, I really wanted to.” she made sure to linger her eye contact a bit longer than she normally would when saying this.

“Before the weather at least?” he chirps. Was he trying to make a joke to her? Maybe he doesn’t mind that she just barged into his house unexpectedly. 

“I can go now if–” she starts to say but he cuts her off.

“No! Of course not, you just arrived! U-Unless you would like to leave?” he asks. 

“No, I’ll stay, as long as I am not imposing”

“I can assure you, you are not!” he replies, leading her over to the couch, bringing the goodie basket with him.

He starts to investigate the contents as she explains to him what happened on her journey. Weirdly when she told him that her horse got spooked and bucked her off, his upper body tensed up a bit. But it was very momentary, so she figured it was nothing. And when she asked if he had seen any bears around, he said no but that he also had not seen the marks she described.

Then the conversation switched to different topics, they each learned more about each other and each asked many follow up questions about the other. The entire time König seemed pretty relaxed, but there was something going on behind his eyes, a thought that he couldn’t quite articulate, or didn’t want to share. König was feeling nothing but entranced, he might be thick but he’s not stupid. He understood why y/n came to his house, at least he hoped he knew why. Her eyes were just so pretty, her cheeks so supple, and her body was so plump and round. After they had talked for what felt like hours, he had a very hard time concentrating on what she was actually saying to him and was just taking in her physicality. 

Soon enough, she excuses herself to use the restroom, and he mentally tells himself that he needs to get it together, ‘you’re thinking like a feral dog, she’s gonna think you’re a deviant’.

Upon returning to the couch she blurts out "Oh my god, it's already 5pm! I should head home…" she starts to say but then both of their eyes go to the windows and see that the storm has not let up one bit. 

"Well you cannot return now, with this weather, and without a horse. Please, I insist that you stay the night." König offers, hoping that she would see it as chivalrous and not creepy.  

Usually, y/n would feel more tentative about taking an offer, out of politeness, but given that she had no other option, and would quite frankly love to see what he looked like in the morning, she replied ‘Thank you, I really appreciate it and I will try not to be a bother’.

He simply gave a small shake of his head and a beaming smile. However in the next few seconds this light hearted mood seemed to entirely leave him as he moved the curtain to one of his windows out of the way and looked outside. She thought maybe he was concerned about the storm, but there seemed to be something deeper than that. From what she could see outside, there was only the raging storm and the full moon shining. Nothing that should have upset him, maybe it was her…. Maybe he really didn’t want her to stay and was just being polite. But she quieted these thoughts quickly, he was a grown man for god’s sake, completely capable of making his own decisions. 

“Here, I can show you where you’ll sleep,” he says, holding out a hand to lead her and her bag, which doesn’t even have what she needs for an overnight trip. They go up a short flight of stairs to an upper level of the cabin, almost like a loft.

He brings her into what seems to be the master bedroom, which has a couple lamps, bedside tables, and a very large bed with flannel sheets. 

"Oh…is this your…." she starts to say, raising her eyebrows at the man, who quickly interjects to say,

‘Oh I’m so sorry, yes this is my room, but I won’t be sleeping in it tonight. I figured you are the guest, you deserve the bed.’ he finishes with a slight chuckle.

It was very cute but also very obvious that he did not have guests often, and was simply trying to be polite. She appreciated it, and if anything endeared him more to her. 

“I actually will not be in the house tonight…" he starts but just receives a completely bewildered look from y/n and continues, "I need to make a trip to my horse stable that is about a mile farther North from the cabin to make sure they are surviving the storm."

"Oh, will you be alright in this weather?", she questions, with many others floating around her head. Like who in their right mind would go out in this weather, especially without a form of transportation. She didn’t care how big he was, this was not healthy for any person. 

"Yes, I will be fine, I promise, I have done this before in similar conditions." he replies, sounding very resolute and confident. She figured he must have done this before and clearly survived that so she obliges and sees him out the door. 

He left with a rain poncho, again making her question where he possibly found one that big, a small satchel, and assured her that he would return before she was awake. He also told her that she was free to use anything in the house, have any food, and take anything from his closet to sleep in for the night. As well as where the extra blankets were kept in case she got cold. 

Once he was gone, she was of course disappointed but she was as excited as ever that she would be sleeping in his bed. She felt a little weird about it, but just told herself that he was only being a gentleman. 

Soon enough, she found a large t-shirt in his closet, a gray cotton one from what she could tell and of course it was quite big on her. Then she crawled to the center of his bed and nestled herself under a few blankets, turned the lights off, and started to ponder the events of the day. Promptly she drifted off to sleep, since she was no doubt very tired from her long day. 

What she assumed to be only 3-4 hours later, she woke up, something stirred her from her sleep. She’s not sure by what, maybe a loud noise? The storm? Something else? She wondered until she heard a very loud, rumbling noise coming from outside of the cabin. It sounded like it was coming from an animal, but only because she did not think a human was capable of making such a noise. Yet, she had no idea what animal could possibly make the noise. It sounded like a howl but from a wolf that was 10x bigger than any she had ever heard of. Maybe those childhood stories were more based in reality than she originally thought. 

Taglist:

@honeybeeznutz

[feuqueerfire]

4Minutes Ep 1 - 4 Live Blogging

I’m in Chicago and hanging out with friends but also, I’m awake while the others are sleeping/busy. So maybe I’ll start watching this hmmm. Ideally I’d binge/watch each episode in one go, then go through archives and posts for that episode, then move on to next episode but the rest of the week once I get home is also going to be chaotic, so I don’t think I can watch the episodes with my full attention then either. I wanna be caught up for Friday’s episode, so here we go on my ipad. I saw a bunch of stuff for the first two eps and some stuff for the third ep; most of it was Fuaiz character with Bas or Jjay so I kinda don’t know what’s going on with our main couple except Bible’s character sees visions (including having sex w the other guy).

Ep 1 (Aug 11/12)

Great? in the hospital and dying. Tyme wandering around while shot and dying

beautiful shots

Korn works in his father’s company and has been given a new position… Investment but also referred to as “the secret operation” by his dad when he can’t hear

oh Great is gonna take over Korn’s old transportation overseeing stuff soon

Are Great and Korn cousins?

Great hit a woman while speeding in his car?!?!

hit and run?!?$?$?!!!!!

I heard some people say that none of the characters are good but I didn’t expect our main character Great to quite be this bad

ohhhh his first vision four minutes into the future, that was cool

the hospital setting does remind me of Triage - another Sammon creation. like the never saying free in the ER thing

oh Tyme is still a student? i mean med students get to be older toward the end of their studies. but he’s a doctor already i thought

the secret operation investment banking is online gambling done by a bunch of people on computers

who is that woman at the gambling place?

[Linguistics] Phi, nai between Korn and Tonkla

everybody was awake and around by the time I got to Korn-Tonkla on the couch… will pick it back up when I’m alone again heh

Korn gives money to Tonkla (though Tonkla still works)

very explicit sex scene that goes on for a little too long for me, so I started skipping toward the end. but not bad yknow it’s just that i find it awkward looking at so much nakedness. my friends are on the other side of the room, so I’m also not fully chill

Also the “can you fuck me raw?” was indeed crazy. I think there’s supposed to be a “does it hurt?” but i missed that one probably bc i skipped some parts

Great and Korn are brothers. I thought Great was that aunts son but is the dad’s son actually

Great telling Korn about his future vision lol how would he believe you

ohhh okay the reason Korn called Great’s mother aunt is because he has a different mother but same father. I finally understand lol

Tyme and his grandma. also he will become a surgeon soon but isn’t one yet

going up the elevator is okay but going down is not

Bible giving flowers to a patient in a hospital reminds me of Vegas giving Porsche a flower basket

I wonder what the future vision’s purpose was this second time

so true, this is a BL where the main characters must meet. Almost forgot lol

heh visions of him making out w Tyme

hmm when the woman had a heart attack and was stuck going through her life so far again, she could see 4 minutes into the future. Is Great in that hospital bed at the start and is seeing 4m into the future for the past

Interesting first episode, lots of things happened and my interest is piqued. What’s up with the woman who ran in front of the car and her mysterious son that’s Great’s age? How are the characters’ paths gonna cross? What’s the 4 minutes thing even? exciting. Well shot and the sex scene going so far startled me even though I kinda knew about it. Gotta wait until Tuesday to watch eps 2 and 3 rip.

Ep 2 (Aug 13)

murderrrrr

kinda looks like Fuaiz face and the cigarette hmmm. I wonder if he’s killing his brother bc ik that happens from spoilers or if it’s a future thing

oh, son committed suicie. wonder if it has anything to do with the gambling

Title is so annoying and not in a fun morally gray way. he's just ewwwwww without anything interesting about him. Similar to the same actor playing Top in DFF actually

ofc and Great's just chilling with this weirdo kidnapper agh

Great literally just originally watched his weirdo friend beat someone to death with a rock wtf...

stupid... Tyme literally fixing his hair and clothes and flexing him arms to go check up on Great lmfao

Tyme practically flirting while Great experiences visions of them having sex

I wonder what about Great intrigues Tyme so much

oh, Title died? This is a field by the river where Great left Tyme right but he'd only hit Tyme once with a rock. I didn't realize he was the one who was Tonkla's brother who apparently died but whew, that's good, I don't wanna see his face bruh

Title is Tonkla's nong? that's wild

Why don't they show the brother's face? Is it not Title?

aghhhh ofc it wasn't Title, a misdirection. no wonder they've not showed his face at all. but did that mans die at the same place Title brought Dome to kill?

damn, Great is not good at fighting at all lol but that tracks

now where did Tyme come from?

The calculations going on in Tyme's head during this conversation with Great lol

everything is so 11:00 related

Did she crash the sites?

oof, Korn fucked up and was a reason a hacker could do this

yaas okay the het sex is way less explicit but still exciting. should've shown more kneeling from Korn imo

yaas one side of the couple cheating (though I'd guess that Korn actually with the woman/is expected to be with the woman/does this often and Tonkla is actually his side piece sugar baby) and another side being set up for the cheating later on (Win coming to see Tonkla)

hmm who is she working for and giving the information to? It looked like Tyme for a second but I doubt that doctor's involved in this. so idk. but that would actually make sense why Tyme was so interested in Great, especially after seeing his name (surname)

Ep 3 (Aug 13)

Last episode before I have to wait just like the rest of them :') Just 4.5 weeks or so until the finale though.

Two murders in a similar way... So somebody killed Tonkla's brother and Tonkla killed them with the stone similarly

We've moved on from 11:00 to 11:01 last ep and it's showing up plenty this ep. There were some theories that Great has until 11:04 in the current timeline where he's in the hospital bed to change the stuff in his past, which could be interesting

seeing 11:01 when it's actually 9:30 ahh. real time vs past

"Can you forgive me, Great?" visions hmm

Great smiling so much around Tyme hehe

[Linguistics] Going from Doctor -> P'Tyme

hanging out and doing claw machines, cute

aw poor lonely rich kid Great. but okay so is his dad his bio dad or his stepdad?

oh, almost kiss already?!

nooo she got captured at the gambling den. did she send that info to Tyme?

damn, the case got transferred to the corrupt chief

"Deep down everybody knows who did it" omg?

"I shouldn't do this. you must still be grieving" cut to them making out shirts off and progressing lol

Tonkla's so funny, asking Korn before and now Win to fuck him raw

skipped through this sex scene too ngl like it's too explicit for me T.T

Tonkla got off and is no longer into the kissing lol and also interesting how in Eo 1 he was all about pleasing Korn and being like oh i don’t need to finish while I don’t even know if Win came (Tonkla did though! jizz on his damn chest omg)

ah, Win saying Tonkla can call him anytime for whatever reason, a sharp contrast to how he still hasn't been able to reach Korn

okay, so this happened in Great-Dome-Title's school and year because the girl who commented about the dead guy was in their class. but nobody is currently dead in their class... so is this indeed in the future like some people were theorizing? like Tonkla's storyline and Great's storyline aren't happening simultaneously?

11:02 already

ohhhh I'd seen the gifs of Tyme taking off his mask but was so confused. I get it now. yeah it was Tyme that Nan was sending all the gambling evidence to.

but why are him and Nan doing so many scary things by themselves, no backup, no nothing oof

I'd seen the 2 timelines theory but I wasn't sure if that would actually work because Korn and Great were at that dinner with their parents at the same time. And I thought it was after Great started seeing the future and Korn got assigned to the new thing, which we had mentioned to Tonkla.

I wonder why Great had seen the 4 minutes future this episode? Usually it's a significant event, especially ones where he made a cowardly choice, but that time, his heart started hurting and he dropped his drink?

Ep 4 (Aug 16)

I just happened to be working from home today so I can start watching during my lunch hehe and not have to wait ~6.5 hours until its release

oh, Tonkla matches the DNA of fingerprints on the rock?

Dr. Den just giving away where Tyme is to Great while Tyme's in the middle of surgery lol c'mon

move in with Tonkla?! girl you're a side piece of the side piece, you can't move into Tonkla's place that's likely running on Korn's money

no way Tonkla actually brought Win home lmfao I thought the promo pic for this ep was Tonkla and Korn in bed, when's that gonna happen. and Tonkla is trying to get it on with Win again, I like the tension when he's dragging his finger over Win's clothed chest

...and Korn arrives right then lol

Win having to hide without his pants is killing me lmfaoo

agh, Korn not backing off of Tonkla until the 4th time he pushes him off with a lot more force D: he submits to the woman + the other higher-ups in the business, so he comes to throw his weight around with Tonkla

that's crazy, Win didn't even put on his pants this whole time lmfaooo

Tonkla's switch up in personality between Korn and Win and the way he has Win under his control is crazy. it's mostly because how much he loves/gives a fuck about Korn vs Win ig

oh, Korn and Tonkla are ~4-5 years apart since I'm guessing Tonkla's a freshman and Korn is a senior in this flashback. I thought they were a decade apart at first lol

oh yeah, Tonkla's parents are dead so his nong can't be Title.

did Tonkla's nong kill the cat?

also is this the black cat Tonkla saw in ep 1 or 2 that was eerie? ig because it's supposed to be dead.

ah, the start of Tonkla and Korn falling in love. their start is so much more romantic than I expected, like their first time seems so romantic, a stark contrast to how Korn was pressuring Tonkla today

"I love you" from Tonkla already?

oh, his parents were still alive back then and probably his dad killed the cat.

omg? Korn saying he'll tell everybody that Tonkla's his bf once he takes over the company?

oof, sad Win in the bed while Tonkla's sitting and thinking about how he met and fell in love with Korn but I mean you now know that Tonkla's with somebody and are still having sex and sleeping in the bed.

Ah, the brain can survive w/o oxygen for 4 minutes. Thus the fandom theory that Great's going through the last 4 minutes of his life right now in that hospital bed and making different choices and such, hopefully to change the future

oh, she saw Great in that room?

Den really is so endearing somehow

the cut to Nan being slapped startled me fr

ok at least Great deleted the msg from Korn's history bc I was like lol what if he doesn't

omg the guy actually killed Nan in the other timeline, that's crazy

lol in what world would Tyme not get shot on sight? They're already grabbing at and pointing guns toward Great, the son of their boss + that guy shot Nan through the head in the other timeline, Tyme should've been dead by now but it's okay ig. lol they're even letting Tyme just walk away and go, that's wild

lmfao please Great high on adrenaline rn after the rescue. hopefully some thoughts about how shitty his family is will come into head soon

[Linguistics] "Not yet": 'yang' ยัง at 47:38 at Great is smiling. anytime I hear this I'm reminded of Pete are you satisfied and Vegas from his chair, grinning wide, saying ยัง after having tortured Pete in the basement. similar ยัง with a wide smile from Bible but different emotions and vibes lol. pretty much every time I hear ยัง I'm reminded of Vegas, so it's funny that it's a different Bible character this time

Tyme and Great first kiss hehe and they're so cute

they talk and giggle so cutely as they're taking their clothes off ahhhh

so Dome is Tonkla's nong fr? but how does it make any sense? because Tonkla's nong died - Korn was thinking about Tonkla telling him to get out while he met Great which was in the present

ohhh okay two different timelines not in the future sense but in the sense of parallel universes where Tonkla's in the original timeline still but Great's actions have saved Dome but in... a different timeline. and they kinda merge... kinda don't....

heh, I'm so glad I got to watch this ep right after it aired but now I've gotta wait for a week + some few hours because I'll be at work on Friday next week :<

Some progress on the TymeGreat front but it feels a bit strange how shallow? it seems because they've hardly spent time with each other and know nearly nothing about each other but Great is betraying his brother for Tyme and risking his life etc. Maybe because he has the visions of the two of them together and so is trying to speed up the romance? it just feels like their relationship is unearned/lacking which is a stark contrast to how in-depth and complex they're getting with Tonkla's relationships. So is the TymeGreat thing on purpose?

I'm curious how they'll deal with the 2 timelines stuff because the butterfly effect is kind of happening but not really???? The merging of two timelines where Tonkla is in the original one and Great is in the redo one but they bleed into each other (or rather maybe the redo is bleeding into the original one?)

Also I was wondering if the cold opens are from the future but it seems not, right? So does Win know right know that Tonkla is a murder suspect as he sleeps with him after finding out he already has someone and Tonkla's cheating with him? Win grow a backbone and stand for something. Letting himself be used as a side piece by a murder suspect, girl.

Thoroughly enjoying this, need the next episode right now.

[ash-is-dying]

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Chap 2

A/N: It’s like 12am right now and i’ve been doing this since 9pm... really wanted to get another chapter done and dusted and I actually really like this one so hope you enjoy! 

P.S. Also let me know if you want me to make a taglist at all...

Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.0k

Chapter 2: Mr. Here To Stay

---

That one interaction hung over your head for the rest of the week. What once was a peaceful and calming place to relax was now haunted by the presence of one aggravating barista. Unfortunately for you the closest coffee place aside from Grateful Bread was blocks away and not worth the walk, so you were stuck with Eddie, the pretty barista from hell.

Avoiding him proved to be easier said than done. He worked most mornings as you’d come to find, on days it was just him you’d wait until the morning rush brought an extra pair of hands to the register and when he placed your order on the bench which made him roll his eyes every time you made sure to wait until he’d moved onto the next order before collecting it. Mornings had become a game of cat and mouse except when you were around Eddie it felt more like starving lion and mouse.

Your one reprieve was on the blessed Sunday morning when you walked in to see Wayne working the counter and Eddie nowhere in sight. Risking it even if he could just be in the back or on break, you swiftly approach the owner who spots you and breaks into a tired smile. “The usual?”

You smiled softly. “You know me too well Wayne.”

He nods and makes his way over to the coffee machine preparing the myriad of ingredients for your usual drink. You stand there watching quietly until your curiosity gets the better of you. “So who’s the new hire? I’ve seen him around recently but haven’t gotten the chance to talk with him yet.” You said lying through your teeth in the hopes of finding out anything about the pretty asshole making your life miserable from afar.

“Eddie? Yeah he just moved to town, needed some quick cash while he settles into school so I thought I’d let him serve while he gets on his feet. Barista is most certainly not his dream job.” He said shaking his head and laughing.

You smile in return, Wayne’s laughter becoming contagious. “You know him too well?” Wayne closed his eyes and shook his head,

“Only lived in my trailer for the first twenty years of his life, the bum. Still hasn’t paid me back a cent for his college degree.”

The realization dawns on your face and your eyes widen, “So you two are…”

Wayne looks up and shrugs, “Yup, that couch potato is my good for nothing nephew” he says kind heartedly, “he’s really more like a son to me than anything, he’s been living cross country for a bit and decided to finally settle down closer to home.” He sighs. “More than anything I’m just glad he’s back in my life for a bit, won’t be long before he gets some savings and goes off on another road trip and I’ll tell you one thing that boy does not look back.” He finishes his speech and puts the lid on your coffee cup to go gently sliding it across the counter. “Sorry darl, feel like I’ve been hogging the conversation. Much going on with you?”

Still reeling from Wayne’s admissions about Eddie the questions fly through your head a mile a minute. ‘How on earth is Eddie your nephew? Why is he such an asshole? Why is he in town? How long’s he around for?’ And yet all that comes out of your mouth is; “No. Not really, just stopping by before my music lecture.”

Wayne nods and reaches for the small bakery display window pulling out some tongs and placing a custard danish into a brown paper bag and placing it in front of you. “On the house. You gotta be taking care of yourself girl.”

“Oh no- no- really its fine Wayne, ill grab something on the way home.” You smile  before he crosses his arms.

“I ain’t arguing, enjoy your breakfast kiddo.” Before you can reject him again he slips away back to the front counter. You blush and tentatively grab the pastry before leaving to head to class, mentally beating yourself up for letting Wayne do that for you.

The guilt begins to wash away as you eat the flaky treat on your walk to campus, the custard is sweet and the pastry is sticky as you hold the bag while you eat, trying to save your fingers from the inevitable. By the time you finally reach the building your sweater is covered in crumbs and the leftover hot chocolate is now lukewarm. You stretch and sit down on a nearby bench, pulling out your music notebook trying to get something down before class, your mind continuing to wander to the tattooed boy who is becoming more intriguing by the day.

---

As you walk in you notice the classroom looks different than usual. The lecture hall has been rearranged. Desks are now set aside in pairs and there is labels on every other desk, some form of assigned seating unfamiliar to the students, you included. You look around and find your chair in the back corner, your desk mate being nowhere in sight. As everyone found their name tag and sat in place the professor started to speak.

“I’m sure you’re all curious why you’ve been seated this way today. I’ve decided that it is time for you all to work on your collaboration skills, a musician must learn to work with a conductor, songwriter and above all else other musicians in order to progress their skills to a more professional level.”

Your eyebrows furrow as the desk beside you remains empty and your attention wanders to your partners tag.

Edward Munson.

Whoever he is he must be new, the class only consists of about fourteen people so keeping track of names is not something you struggle with. Someone you’ve never met and have no experience with in the slightest is who you’re going to be depending on for your music degree. Someone who isn’t even here for the first class of the new course. Lucky you.

You turn back to the professor.

“I have paired you with those who I believe have different music tastes and styles to you going off of your application demos you submitted when you joined this extension class. This will be work the majority of your grade this semester so I suggest you make it count. Spend this first class getting to know your partner and begin to understand who they are, after today I expect you to no longer be strangers.”

You resign yourself to spend the class scrawling in your notebook possible style collaboration ideas, a gut feeling telling you that you’d be completing most of this task. Your headphones go in as the sound of ABBA takes you away from the slight disappointment of not having a partner. Due to this your ears only catch half of what is happening outside your little bubble. There is the sound of the door opening behind you and some mumbled speech hard to make out before a certain phrase catches in your ears.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Clear as day a familiar voice penetrates your brain and causes you to look up beside you. There stands a boy in what seems to be pajama pants, deep grey ones with lightsabers wrapping around the legs. He also wears a stained and well worn iron maiden shirt as his teased curls sit on his shoulders, his whole body slumped over, his eyebrow raised in annoyance as the current bane of your existence glares into your eyes.

Edward Munson.

Eddie Munson.

Shit.

The pair of you stay silent processing what this all means. This is so much worse than working with a stranger.

“Glad to see you’ve shown up. I think we can skip the pleasantries and just get to work.”

“Agreed.”

He sits, more flops into his chair looking over your shoulder at what you had been working on. He closes his eyes and rests his head on his arms. The smell of cheap cologne and sweat fills your nose as you frown and continue to write on your own. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t shown up. At least then you’d still have your sense of smell.

This is how the class continues until the professor comes around to read your notes. “These are all good ideas I like them a lot.” A smile graces your face. “But… I don’t know if I’m seeing much of Mr. Munson in here.” Your smile falters slightly. “Have you two been getting to know each other like I asked?”

This perks Eddie up as he lifts his head and opens his eyes slightly. “Oh trust me sir we’re well acquainted.”

The teacher leans back on the desk in front of them. “Then tell me what her favourite song is, favourite colour, where she works, anything at all that you’ve been talking about.” Eddie sits in silence formulating his reply.

“She has almond milk in her coffee.” He replies smugly causing you to scoff.

“He’s a barista at my local cafe sir it hardly counts. He doesn't even remember my name.” You slide your hand over your name card as he grimaces at you.

“As if you remember anything about me.” He responds snarkily.

You sigh and turn to face him. “Your name is Edward Munson but you obviously prefer to be called Eddie, you work at the café Grateful Bread most days a week except for when you come to your music lectures. You obviously don’t particularly care about being on time for said classes and I’d say you feel the same way about work and you get away with it because your boss is your uncle Wayne. You can’t stand it here and you can’t stand me and I’m almost entirely certain as soon as you can afford it you’re leaving this place for good.” You cross your arms as Eddie’s mouth moves and no words come out.

The professor is the first to speak “Sounds like you’ve got some homework to do Mr. Munson. I suggest you both spend more time getting to know each other properly and less time psychoanalyzing each other. I’m expecting big things from you two, you are by far the most advanced students in this course after all and I hope you can be mature and sort this out like adults.” He stands and moves to the next group leaving you both in the same uncomfortable silence as before.

“So… what’s your favourite colour then.” Eddie asks in a monotonous voice.

“Black.” You respond sharply.

He looks at you like you just spat in his face. “Black’s not a colour. It’s a shade.”

Your fist clenches as you hold back the snarky comment stuck in your throat. “It has to be a colour as light is absorbed by it and we can physically see it with our eyes.”

“Uh no. Black is a combination of colours meaning it can’t be a colour itself it just exists as a shade.”

“Your logic makes no sense. If black is just a combination of other colours then how is it not a colour it’s just a darker tone than other colours.”

The palm of his hands dig into his eyes. “Even your favourite colour is dumb I swear-”

“And what makes your favourite colour so great?”

“My favourite colour is dark red like a normal person and it is the best colour.”

“That’s not even a proper argument- Why did you even start this fight? You sound like such a child.”

“At least I’m not an uptight prude.”

“Up yours Munson.”

The class is dismissed soon after and Eddie stays seated whilst you pack up your things. “I’ll write you a copy of my notes so you know what our project is.” You move to leave before turning back sticking your nametag lopsided to his desk. “That’s my name by the way asshole in case you ever wanted to actually know who you’re bothering with your childish bullshit.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind sweetheart.”

You scowled as you walked out of the lecture hall, your head hurting and your face on fire as it dawned upon you that Eddie Munson was becoming Mr. Here To Stay.

[lover-of-mine]

Your last post is funny bc just TODAY I watched that season finally. I’m literally 2 episodes into season 5 right now. As someone who just watched that for the first time (and hadn’t noticed it WAS the season finally when I started watching it) I was losing my goddamn MIND watching those episodes. Just constantly 😯😯😯. I began watching 911 when I started seeing posts circulating about Buck being bi. At the time I had no idea who he was other than the occasional gif set but it made me intrigued and I have been HOOKED. Literally trying to get through as many episodes as possible so I can watch the episodes live. Questions for you (since I have no one else to talk to about the show); when did you start watching? Have you had any predictions while watching the show that didn’t/ did come true? Like for me when I watched season 1 and Abby went to the fire department for the first time I SWORE up and down that her and Bobby were meant to be endgame (was clearly wrong lol). But also after Chris got stuck in the Tsunami I called it that something would happy to Harry later on (just a feeling that no one was safe lol, not even the kids). I’m just so curious to see what the fandom theories have been over time lol since I missed out on it!

Yeah, no, watching suspicion/survivors for the first time is WILD. Like, imma be honest and bit oversharing, I watched the show for the first time in a depressive episode, so I watched everything up to 5x10 in like, 6 days according to the posts I made on Tumblr about it, so I didn't realize theorize about anything, I was just hitting next episode like my life depended on it. But I didn't know anything about the show, like, at all, I had just watched 911 lone star in a weekend because it was on the tv and there were only like, 20 episodes of it out it at the time and a network in my country was just showing all of them on a loop, and I opened the Disney app fully intending to rewatch grey's anatomy, and 911 was the first show on my recommended to you list, and I had liked lone star enough, and was like sure why not. And I legit couldn't stop watching. All of this happened the week before 5x11 aired on the us, so 5x11 was the first episode I watched like "live" (the first episode I actually watched live was 5x16) but I watched it in the same week, I think I finished on a Tuesday? And the episode aired on Monday. I can't really give you any theories I have witnessed so far because they would be spoilers tho, but if you wanna come back once you catch up we can talk about some of the madness that goes around here. But I had the same thing happen to me, I didn't realize it was the season finale, and I didn't know anything about the show, so I had no idea what was happening, and I thought I had learned my lesson with the tsunami arc, because I watched 3x01 at like 3 am fully saying this is the last episode I will watch and then I'm gonna go to bed, and then the tsunami hit, and I was like well fuck and then Chris fell in the water and next thing I know is 5 am and Eddie is making me cry at the end there. But I saw the 13 and didn't realize the season only had 14 episodes and then everything kept happening. I seriously cannot imagine what it was like to be forced to wait a week between those 2 episodes it was SO CRAZY. When Eddie got shot I legit froze. Watching that for the first time not knowing it's coming is SOMETHING. I do remember thinking that they were gonna kill Shannon but I didn't expect to be right, I also remember clocking that Jason was Doug pretty fast. Something funny tho, I remember posting that meme that's like "I've had blank for 1 day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this room and myself" with Buck and I waited until I had been watching for a day and a half, that means I posted it while watching the season 2 finale. I hit post and the truck blew up and I legit went like ????????? and that is still the most ironic thing that ever happened to me while posting about 911 kspskspkspakapkapa (here's the post, I actually came back to edit the tags because I was in shock lol) and I laugh every time I remember that lol but I'm glad you're enjoying the show, you can come back to talk to me about it any time!;

[wardenmages]

Okay so after that "didn't die when they should have died" post earlier I just rambled for several paragraphs into a semi-coherent fic about Gavin's PTSD in Detroit Reawakening and Detroit Evolution, with some mention of Detroit Absolution/D3. This is a fair amount of headcanon as well as my interpretation of certain scenes.

So here is some musing on Gavin's presentation of PTSD and how healing isn't linear and doesn't end but sometimes the people we love make it a little bit easier to live with it, and that sometimes healing means leaving situations we didn't realize were hurting us because it was better than where we started.

-----------

Gavin startles easily and violently. One time a rookie who didn't know any better tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around and decked them in the middle of the bullpen before his brain kicked in to follow his fist. He wears a heavy jacket because it muffles the world around him into a dull ache rather than a constant prickling on his skin down to his bones.

It's easy to tell when he's pulled an all-nighter from the pile of disposable coffee cups on his desk - he didn't have time to clean out a mug every time he went back for more. He's even less patient and understanding than usual. On particularly bad days, people watch him roll his shoulders and touch the back of his head to chase away bruises that healed on the surface years ago.

He's made a name for himself handling drug cases, but he can see Fowler wishes he'd take anything else. It makes him bristle and dive even further into his cases, because fuck Fowler if he doesn't trust Gavin, Gavin earned this. As the faces become less and less familiar, Fowler stops giving him that look whenever he goes in for supervision, and Gavin doesn't know if that means he finally proved himself or if Fowler was just waiting for Gavin to run out of options to run.

He keeps just about everyone at arm's length, except Chen and Miller. He's known Tina for years, since he was still an intern and she was working three jobs to pay for college. It's easy to like Chris, who is one of the most genuine guys Gavin's ever met. He jokes to himself that he doesn't know why Chris became a cop of all things, but he doesn't know why he's a cop either, so he lets it sit. Neither of them complain when he smokes, they don't push beers or shots into his hands at the bar, and push back when he's being a shit. For about a week he has a crush on Chris and his big cheesy smile that lights up the room and holy fucking shit he's got it bad, but he pushes it back because he only has two friends at thirty years old and he knows he's not exactly fun to be around.

Sometimes kids come through the station in his cases and it fucks him up for days. He stares at their records, a mess of foster homes, charges written in and then crossed off if they didn't stick, and notes from the overloaded caseworkers who can't even spell the kids' names. He thinks about his apartment and how it feels so big but so small at the same time, there's a spare bedroom he just uses for storage that he could clean out, he has enough savings to get furniture and shit. He keeps a tab open with the sign-up to get certified to foster. He thinks about making the system better from the inside.

He knows that's not how it works, not in the real world. The kids move on to the next house or their parents, and Gavin closes the tab and tries not to look at his badge. The next time he sees their names he pretends he never thought about them and that arresting them actually means something.

He doesn't sleep much, maybe three to four hours a night. It's impossible to fall asleep when you know it's not going to last long before your own brain betrays you. He wakes up from another nightmare, body stiff and covered in sweat, and just curls in on himself until he can force his body back into submission. It's a battle of wills more than something he needs to stay alive.

Nines helps. God, Nines makes everything feel lighter, and he stops sinking from the weight around his neck. It's still heavy and he can't help but bite whatever hand is held out to him, but it's more than bearable, he's alive.

His second near-death experience, lying on the floor of the precinct clinging onto consciousness through the numbing mess of pain and nerves at their breaking point, he nearly fades out just to make it finally stop. He wakes up in the hospital hours later terrified at how easy it was to just slip away.

He won't let it happen again. He's nearly died twice - really, truly close to death, not just in danger - and it didn't take. He's too stubborn to go out, not when he finally gives a shit about his own life and the people around him do more than just tolerate him and his friends are all moving forward and... he wants to move forward too.

So he quits his job alongside his partner. He doesn't push down how he feels about it, how as grateful as he'll always be he feels used by the system that kicked him down in the first place. He works with the kids at the shelter and talks them off the ledge. He doesn't foster, he's still adjusting to living with Nines and both of them love their privacy too much, but sometimes the kids stay the night with permission if they're struggling at the shelter. A few stop by their apartment first before even approaching the shelter.

He doesn't always know what to do or say, how to help, but he tries. He tries, and he tells them he better not read their name in the news unless it's for some kind of award. Newspaper clippings aren't a thing anymore, but he prints them out whenever he sees them, kids taking time to hang out at one of the senior centers or work in one of the urban gardens or a mentoring program with some androids, anything good. He tacks them up on the wall of his small, shitty office that never gets warm enough or cold enough but Nines brought in a couple of his plants and there's some art on the walls from Tayla and a bunch of framed photos around the place so it feels more like home.

He wakes up from a nightmare, body stiff and covered in sweat, to Nines pressed against his back holding his hand and massaging gentle circles into the tender skin where his prosthetic meets his hand. He clenches his jaw and tries to focus on the way Nines' fingers feel, the gentle glow from the edge of his skin overlay, his simulated heartbeat and breathing that Gavin knows he's amping up so Gavin can feel it.

After a few minutes, he closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep to the sound of the cat scratching at the door frame, and breathes.

[markxmelon]

Parings: Johnny x American!Y/N

Pronouns: She/Her

Genre: Fluff (Mostly)

Warnings: Y/N has a boyfriend named Andrew, Fights, Johnny and Y/N are 14 in the beginning, let me know if I forgot anything

Word Count: 3k

Hope y’all enjoy!

Johnny looks astonished at his friend of 10 years. "You what?" Y/n looks down while she plays with her hair. " I...I like you..." She answers, her face turning redder by the second. Johnny's expression went from surprised to apologetic. "Y/n...I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way." Y/n continues to look down, "oh..." Johnny felt bad, but what else could he do? "...if you think about it, I'll be leaving for South Korea next week. The relationship wouldn't work out." Y/n knew he was right. Honestly she was just happy she didn't have to live with knowing she never told Johnny how she felt. "Right as always, Suh." Johnny smiles at her. "We still friends?" He asks with hope written all over his face. Y/n hugs him, "Of course." Johnny hugs Y/n back and smiles. They stayed like that for a while. Y/n sighs, "I'll miss you while you're in Korea." "I'll miss you too."

"Flight 756 to Seoul, South Korea is now boarding."

"Mom I love you too, but they called my flight!" Johnny says as he tries to escape his mother's kiss shower and tight grip. "Okay fine. Make me proud honey." She says as she lets go of him. "I will. I promise." He give his mom a smile then goes to Y/n who was patently waiting.

"Well this is it." Y/n says. "Yeah. I promise to facetime you whenever I can." He promises as he gives y/n a hug. "Next time I see you in Chicago, it better because you're on tour." Johnny laughs. Before he could respond, the airport speakers went of again. "Last call for Flight 756 to Seoul, South Korea." Johnny sighs and lets go of y/n, "See you soon." "See you soon, Suh." Johnny then did the unthinkable. He leans down and kisses y/n on the cheek, then quickly walked to the boarding gate.

Y/n touched her cheek as she and Johnny's mom watch the plane take flight from the big airport window. Until next time Johnny.

Y/n and Johnny tried to often talk to each other. Y/n was there through the 8 years of Johnny's constant doubt of ever debuting. She reassured and gave him the hope he needed. She was there to celebrate his debut and made sure he knew how cool he looked. Soon, of course, both were wrapped up in their adulting, that they hardly had time to talk due to their schedules and, eventually, they lost communication.

Y/n became a really popular model in America. She moved to Los Angeles for a few years, but went back to Chicago after being so homesick. Johnny debuted with NCT 127 a few years ago and his music career became his top priority. Both of them kinda forgot about each other. Well that was until NCT 127 went on their world tour.

Johnny was happy to perform in Chicago. He couldn't wait to see his mother and all his old favorite places to go. He was actually planning on taking the members to his favorite restaurant after the concert. He even planned to spend the next 2 days with his mom before they left to another state. He was beyond excited. It really shown while he was on the stage. When the concert was over he quickly went back stage and started rushing the members so they can quickly go to the restaurant. He hasn't been there for years. He went there everyday with y/n- Johnny smiled. He hasn't heard from y/n in a while. Going back to the restaurant will for sure bring back a lot of memories.

"Finally!" Johnny shouts as the van pulls up to the place he's been missing for years. The members walk into the restaurant while Johnny's 6 foot self jumps in excitement. The hostess/owner sees Johnny and a smile quickly grows on her face. "Johnny? Long time no see!" She leaves from behind the counter and hugs Johnny. He hugs her back, "Hey Mrs. Jones!" "I see Korea treated you well. You're a giant now!" Johnny laughs. "I've seen y/n come here with her boyfriend all the time and I thought it was weird to not see her here with you. Today she came in alone. I was wondering why but now that I see that you're here I understand completely." Johnny looks at Mrs. Jones confused then that's when he gets what she's hinting at. "No! Nonononono I'm here with my members." He jesters to the guys patiently standing behind him. Mrs. Jones eyes widen. "Oh my goodness! Let me get you guys seated. I'm so sorry." The members tell her that it's fine as she rushes them to a big table. She gives them all menus. "Your waitress should be here soon." She smiles at them and left, but not before hugging Johnny one more time and saying, "Y/n is over there if you want to say hi." She points y/n out. When Mrs. Jones left, Johnny looked at y/n for a while. She looks beautiful.

Y/n sits at her table for 2 alone and constantly checks her phone. "Where is he?" She mumbles to herself. Her boyfriend has never been this late before. Maybe he forgot. She sighs. It's been almost 2 hours. She gives up and asks the waiter for the check. As she checks her phone one last time, someone sits in front of her. She assumes it was her boyfriend. "Where the h- Johnny?" She looked up mid-sentence and saw her childhood best friend, Johnny Suh. "Hey." Y/n smiles from ear to ear and quickly stands up from her seat so she can hug him. Johnny stands up as well and hugs her. "I-I can't believe it's you...You're so tall!" He snorts, "Why does everyone keep saying that?" Y/n laughs. The two hugged a bit longer and eventually let go. "What are you doing in Chicago?" "I'm on tour with my group." Johnny gestures to his friends who are staring them down. "Oh you're eating with them? Don't let me bother you. I was just about to head out anyway. I'm just waiting on my check." "oh really? How much was your meal?" "Only $2.15 since I didn't eat anything." And before y/n could even stop him, Johnny put $3.00 on the table, grabbed her hand then dragged her to his table. "You can eat with us." is all he says as he drags her. Y/n protest but Johnny keeps going.

When they made it to NCT 127's table, Johnny says, "Guys this is my childhood best friend y/n. Y/n this is Taeyong, Yuta, Haechan, Mark, Jungwoo, Taeil, Doyoung, and Jaehyun." The guys wave and greeted y/n and she shyly waved back. Haechan mumbles a "yeoppeo" to himself. He wasn't quiet enough though and got a smack on the head from Johnny and red cheeks from y/n. She learned Korean from Johnny's mom and the Korean class she signed up for to surprise Johnny a while ago. Johnny pulled out a chair for y/n and she reluctantly sat.

The members asked y/n many questions about herself and younger Johnny. She was a bit shy at first but soon opened up to them and told them many embarrassing Johnny stories. "Y/n please!" Johnny pleads while trying to cover y/n's mouth. "No No! Let me tell it!" She says while fighting back. The members laugh at the two and laughed even harder at the ending of y/n's story. Johnny rolls his eyes, but is secretly happy that the members have taken a liking into y/n. He looks at her as she tells more stories from their childhood and can't help but think, she's really gotten beautiful over the years. Her personality hasn't changed at all though. He smiles at her as she waves her arms around while telling the story of how he threw up on a rollercoaster once. However, the moment was short lasted.

"Y/n, there you are!" Everyone turned to the voice. Y/n eyes widened. "Andrew! Where were you?!" She says as she stands up and walks angrily towards him. He grabs her and and takes her further from the table. Johnny sees them talking but can't hear anything. He sighs. Jaehyun notices Johnny's dismay. "I got this bro! I can read lips." Johnny rolls his eyes as Jaehyun focuses on the pair. "Okay so y/n said 'I'm sorry your grandma fell down the stairs. Is she okay?' the guy said 'Yeah she's fine. You know grandma's a trooper.' 'Yeah she's the strongest woman I know. Hehehehehe. I'll go say bye to the guys so we can go.' And now she's coming this way." Haechan scoffs, "There's no way that's what they were saying." "Yeah there's no way." Taeil agrees. The members nod in agreement as well. "I guess we'll see for ourselves." Jaehyun says as y/n made it to the table.

"Hey guys I got to go see my boyfriend's grandma. She fell down the stairs! Crazy right?" Y/n says, making the members look at Jaehyun with wide eyes while he leans back with a smirk on his face. Y/n looks at them in confusion, "What?" Johnny shakes his head, "Nothing...before you go. I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to Six Flags with us tomorrow." Y/n jumps in excitement, "I haven't been there in a while! Of course I would go with you guys!" She looks back at Andrew who smiles at her. She turns back to Johnny, "Can Andrew come too? I would love for you guys to meet!" Johnny screams on the inside and says, "Of course he can." Y/n smiles widely at him and hugs him. "Okay text me the time you want to meet up and I'll see you then. My number is still the same by the way." She waves goodbye to the other members and they wave back and say bye.

As soon as y/n left the members ask Johnny why he ask her that. "We never said anything about Six Flags. I thought you were going to spend the next 2 days with your mom?" Taeyong questions. Johnny totally forgot about that, " Well 1. I asked because I want to spend more time with y/n and 2. I can see my mom before we go to Six Flags, like a take her out to breakfast and when we get back I can treat her to dinner. The day we leave I can spend that time with her too, so it'll be fine." Mark looks at Johnny, "You really like y/n huh?" Johnny coughs at this, "WHAT?! No! I just haven't seen her for what, like, a gajillion years and I missed her." "Because you like her." Jungwoo adds. The members laugh. Johnny's face turns red, "Just...shut up and eat."

The guys bang on the bathroom door. "Johnny hurry up!" "Come on! I need to pee!" "Haechan just go to your own restroom." "It's too far!" The guys continue to knock on the door. Johnny ignores them as he finally got his hair the way he wanted. He pats his clothes a little bit then smiles at the mirror. "Looking good Johnny." He finally opens the bathroom door only to be pushed out of the way by Haechan who needed to pee really bad but was too lazy to walk to his own bathroom.

"About freaking time!" "Were you pooping your organs or something?!" The guys asked many questions just to be ignored by Johnny. He had the biggest smile on his face as he put on his shoes then walked out of his hotel room. He practically skipped to their van and yelled out to the others that they're walking too slow. He couldn't wait to see y/n. He texted her that they're on their way now and she responded saying that she's already there. Johnny screamed at the now satisfied Haechan to hurry up and get in the car.

They finally arrived at the amusement park. Johnny pushes past the members to get out of the car first. He once again ignored their complaints and looked around for y/n.

Y/n sees Johnny and starts waving her arms. He eventually sees her. He runs to her and picks her up. They spin around while laughing. Even when he put her down, they were nothing but giggles. Their moment was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. That's when Johnny remembered that he was coming too.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Andrew, y/n's boyfriend." He said with a sweet smile and held his hand out. Johnny decided not to be petty and returned the handshake. "I'm Johnny." They both stood there. Analyzing each other.

"Wow if I was a bystander I would think that you two were dating." Y/n jokes and the boys both laugh loudly at her joke. Slightly glaring at each other. Andrew looked away from Johnny and at his girlfriend. "Let's go before the line gets too long!" Before y/n could respond, Andrew grabbed her hand and ran to the entrance. Johnny looked at them and sighed.

"Brutal." Mark says and Johnny rolls his eyes.

The whole day kinda went like that. Johnny fighting for y/n's attention by winning her stuffed animals and making her laugh. Meanwhile Andrew would take y/n on tons of rides with promises of protecting her and giving her tons of kisses. Y/n was completely oblivious about the competition and was just enjoying her time.

Soon it was getting dark and the Six Flags fireworks show was about to start. "I'll go get snacks." Y/n says. Johnny and Andrew jumped up. "I'll go with you!" Y/n taps their shoulders. "You've both did enough for me today. Sit down and relax. Taeyong, will you go with me please?" "Of course." He stands up. "Me too!" Haechan gets up as well. Y/n giggled then they head off to the closest snack place.

Everything was peaceful for a second but someone had to open their mouth. "What are your intentions with y/n?" Andrew says. Johnny looks at him, "What?" "You heard my question. You've been flirting with my girlfriend since you got here." Johnny then realized that it was wrong to flirt with a girl who was already taken. No matter who they were. He was about to apologize when Andrew spoke again. "Well it doesn't matter because it's not like she'll want to be with you anyway." Andrew smirks while Johnny raises an eyebrow, "It's funny. You seem like the perfect guy for her. Famous, kind, treats her right, loyal. Yet she's with me. The guy who would lie about his grandma being hurt just to get away with cheating on her."

Johnny shoots up. "You did what?!" Andrew stands up too. "And there's nothing you can do about it. 'Cause honestly who would she believe? Me, her sweet loving boyfriend or her ex best friend who left her heart broken." Johnny eyes widened. "You think I wouldn't have known about that? Y/n was untouchable for years because of you. Well that was at least until I got to her. I didn't even like her and she was just throwing herself on me. I still don't like her." "Then why are you with her?" Johnny's anger rises. "Duh! She’s rich and famous! Nothing’s better than a sugar mama.” Johnny balls up his fist. Andrew sees that. "Awe are you getting mad? Don't worry. When I'm done with her, you can have my sloppy seconds-" Johnny punches Andrew square on his jaw. Andrew fell and Johnny went down and threw more punches at him. The members try to pull him off of Andrew but it was too late.

"Johnny?"

He quickly turned around and saw y/n standing there. He then realized how bad this looked. "Awe man. I missed the good stuff!" Haechan says and receives a head smack from Taeyong. Johnny tries to explain everything as y/n puts the snacks on the table. She quickly tried to see if Andrew was okay but the bruises on his face and his teary eyes told her everything she needed to know. Y/n puts his head on her lap and glares at Johnny. "First you break my heart and leave me here with a kiss on the cheek as if that'll make me feel better THEN you ignore me for years THEN you comeback and talk to me like you've done nothing wrong THEN you beat up my boyfriend! What's wrong with you Johnny?!" Johnny opens his mouth but nothing comes out. The members who were there tried to talk for him. "Y/n you should've heard what Andrew was saying." "Johnny did what was right." "Please listen to us." "We have no reason to lie to you."

"No reason? Johnny's your friend! Of course you'll lie for him!" Y/n was about to pop off again when Andrew spoke up. "I just wanted to be friends with him but he said that I didn't deserve you and that he only wants you so he can use you for publicity. I tried to stand up to him but he punched me." Y/n heard nothing. She didn't hear the guys scream that it wasn't true. She didn't hear the fireworks. She didn't hear Andrew's fake cries. She didn't hear anything. Is it true? Would Johnny really say something like that? Am I really that gullible to believe he would want to be friends with me again? Johnny's changed since I last saw him...it could be true. She looked at Johnny. They both have tears in their eyes. Johnny hasn't changed that much though.

Y/n snaps back into reality. She sits up and lets Andrew's head fall to the ground. He hisses in pain. She ignores him and walks to Johnny. "Tell me the truth." She demands as she looks him straight in the eye. He tells her everything in great detail. She listened and believed every word. When Johnny finished, he looks nervously at y/n's unreadable face.  She turns around and kicks Andrew. "We're through."

She links her arm with Johnny's. "Take me home please." He smiles at her and walks away with the members following them. Well most of the members. Jaehyun and Mark stayed behind. They pointed their middle fingers and laughed at Andrew. When Andrew was about to get up, they ran away while laughing like little kids.

[bingbong21]

"My Generation" Translation Part 1.

Next

Hello there! I haven't seen anyone translate the BB drama track yet (and I refuse to get twitter to really double check), so I am mustering all my limited willpower and throwing my hat into the ring!

This post covers from 0:00 until 11:03. Because I feel like translating 40-ish minutes of drama track would make this unbearably long. Also if you see a number, that means there's a note I want to make because I did take some liberties.

With that said, here we go!

News anchor: Yesterday the functionality of Hypnosis Mics was restored, and reestablishment of Chuohku’s command is underway.

Ichiro: It’s been a week since the Block Party and we’re already back to normal huh?

News anchor: In addition, regarding the postponed Third Division Rap Battles, the Administrative Inspection Bureau announced that it is too early to decide to cancel the event.

Ichiro: Ha…The Division Rap Battles…

Rei: Yo! Sorry to keep ya waiting. What’d you want?  

Ichiro: Thought I’d give this back. *tosses keys*

Rei: Hm.

Ichiro: It’s the keys to the car you lent me. It’s parked over in that lot.  

Rei: Hmph. Is that so?

Ichiro: That’s all. Sorry you went out of your way.

Rei: Eh, I had work around here anyway so it wasn’t a problem to come get the keys.

Ichiro: Hmph. Later. *goes to walk off*

Rei: How are they doing?

Ichiro: Aa?

Rei: Jiro and Saburo.

Ichiro: They’re away right now.

Rei: Hmm?

Ichiro: The festival made them want to see more of the outside world, so they both went on a trip.

Rei: *laughs* Finally getting used to parenting, huh?

Ichiro: Quit screwing around. They’re still kids. Until it’s time for them to enter society, I’ll be sure to take proper care of them.

Rei: Hmm.

Ichiro: It’s common sense. Later. *walks off*

Rei: Now then, wonder what’ll happen?

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Jiro: I’m back Aniki!

Saburo: Ichi-nii, I’m home!

Ichiro: Oh, welcome back! What’s this? You guys decide to come home together?

Jiro/Saburo: No way!/Not at all!

Jiro: We just happened to meet up!

Saburo: Ichi-nii, please listen. I’ve learned so many things because of my trip!

Jiro: Oi! I’m gonna talk first, so you be quiet!

Saburo: Grh…Don’t you shut up?

Jiro: What was that?!

Saburo: Aa?!

Jiro: Aa?!

*sounds of them fighting*

Ichiro: *laughs* Looks like nothing’s changed since before your trips.

Jiro: That’s not true! I worked together with them and learned a lot of different things!!

Saburo: Me too! I got a lot of inspiration from interacting with people in the countryside!

Ichiro: I get it, I get it. How about we go eat, and you can take turns telling me about it, yeah?

Jiro/Saburo: Yes!

*sounds of dinner*

Ichiro: Eeh? So Jiro, how did you end up traveling with the company president?

Jiro: Oh! I happened to be given a ride by the company while I was hitchhiking. His company was getting merged, so I helped him with a lot of different things.

Saburo: Heh. You probably just carried his bags the whole time.

Jiro: Did not! That’s a problem he dealt with himself!I got to do consultations with the investors. I also got to attend business meetings with clients and mediated fights between employees!

Ichiro: So, did you achieve the purpose of your trip?

Jiro: Yeah! It’s crazy how much I learned working with a lot of different people. Things can get pretty complicated when you bring together people with different ideas who all want to improve the company.

Saburo: Ha! You talk like you actually understand it.

Jiro: Shut up! Is it your turn to speak?!

Ichiro: *laughs* Well, I’m glad it seemed to be a good experience.

Saburo: Me too! I had a very interesting experience!

Ichiro: You went to the countryside, right Saburo?

Saburo: Yes! My idea was to bring technology to rural villages and encourage regional revitalization!

Ichiro: Oho, that’s a pretty grand plan isn’t it?

Saburo: But, after I lived there for a bit, I realized that the inconveniences and simple way of life (1) aren’t a bad thing.

Jiro: Yeah, I get ya.

Saburo: Ha? What do you possibly “get”?

Jiro: Well I mean, look at it this way: our journeys were different, but it sounds like you and I learned the same things, yeah? 

Saburo:No we didn’t! The depth and quality are of a completely different order of magnitude!

Jiro: Tch, why do you have to be so annoying?!

Ichiro: *thinking* They’ve been able to expand their horizons.

*door bell rings*

Jiro: Oh? Who could that be this late?  

Saburo: It’s way too late to be making a request.

Ichiro: Just a minute! *opens door* Yes? Chairman?!

Chairman: Apologies for coming so late. As the chairman of the Neighborhood Association, I have a favor to ask of you.

Ichiro: Ha…please, come in for now.

*re-enter home, gets tea*

Ichiro: So, this urgent consultation…is it about work for the Neighborhood Association or something?

Chairman: No, the truth is I’m currently in talks about a large-scale urban development project.

Ichiro: Urban development project?

Chairman: It seems that Ikebukuro’s biggest hope is to build a large suburban facility. The stores will be closed down, and those lots will be where culture, sports, and commerce come together. They want to build the largest desired large-area suburban facility. And that’s why I’m in a bit of trouble.

Ichiro: I’d like to hear more details

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ichiro: I see. You want a response and now your family is having a falling out.

Chairman: Yes. At first there was only opposition from the current generation of my sons, who are in charge of the stores. But recently my grandchildren’s generation has begun to rebel, and things are starting to get out of control.

Ichiro: That seems difficult.

Chairman: Here I am thinking of everyone’s happiness, but they just don’t understand a parent’s feelings at all.

Ichiro: When you say that…

Chairman: I’ll only say it here: it’s been tough, even for our family’s fish shop that supports the other stores. If this keeps up, we won’t be able to avoid bankruptcy.

Ichiro: And when that happens, your family’s way of life will be destroyed.

Chairman: Yes. This is a difficult decision for us Neighborhood Association officials. However, when we think about the lives of our sons and grandchildren, we’d rather replace the shops with the urban development.

Ichiro: Haa…

Chairman: They’ll get all the money from the buyout. With that amount, our sons and grandchildren will be able to live their lives without any problems.

Ichiro: Chairman…

Chairman: We are sad about the loss of the stores. But more than that, we want out children to have happy lives.

Ichiro: Me too…I’m my younger brothers’ parent, so I completely understand how you feel.

Chairman: I thought you would say that. But, that’s just how a parent is supposed to think. Ichiro-kun, could you help me to convince my sons?

Ichiro: Of course. Please leave it to me.

Chairman: Oh! You’ve really saved me!

Ichiro: So when is the deadline to respond to the urban development plan?

Chairman: The person in charge said it will be in a week.

Ichiro: Understood. If that’s the case, I won’t be able to gather the others’ opinions by then.

*door opens*

Jiro: Aniki! Let me help too!

Saburo: I heard the whole story. I want to help as well!

Chairman: Jiro-kun, Saburo-kun! But, you two are still just kids.

Ichiro: If it’s these two it’ll be alright. Please leave this matter to my brothers.

Chairman: Well, if you say so Ichiro-kun…

Ichiro: Yessir!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ichiro: Let’s go over the situation again. A large-scale urban development project has come to Bukuro, and the people in the shopping district are being approached to sell their land. It looks like opinions on how to respond are divided. First we have the clients, the Chairman’s generation. Then, we have the current generation who run the shopping district. Finally, below them, is the grandchildren’s generation. Here is what each of them have to say.

Saburo: So the grandchildren’s generation don’t want to sell the land and want to continue running the store there.

Jiro: But the working generation has an option to sell the land and open a store in the new facility as a tenant. Isn’t that the best option? They’d be able to get money and keep the store open.

Ichiro: It seems that the difference in selling prices is quite different.

Saburo: I see. So in other words, there’s a difference between cashing in the right to open a store and exercising the right to open a store in the facility. (2)

Ichiro: However, it seems like the shopping district manages all the stores. Meaning that if they were to become a tenant, there wouldn’t be any hope of making a profit.

Jiro: So like the chairman said, it would be best to convert everything into cash?

Ichiro: Yeah. Everyone is getting emotional and it’s difficult to have a discussion. However the response to the developers is due in a week. If we don’t hurry, we’ll run out of time.

Jiro: In that case, why don’t we gather everybody at West Gate Park and have them listen to the full story?

Ichiro: That’s a great idea!

Saburo: There’s probably a key person for each generation. If they speak for everyone, I think it’d be quicker to talk to them.

Jiro: The leader of the shopping district union is probably the one who organizes the current generation. Which in that case would be the fish shop’s old man.

Ichiro: I heard the person who organized the grandchildren’s generation is the old man’s son.

Saburo: That means it’s a three-way struggle between parents and sons, doesn’t it?

Ichiro: Aha…Well, can I leave the gathering of the people to you two?

Saburo: Yes. It’s already late today, so tomorrow Jiro and I will split up and see what we can find.

Jiro: What do you think about scheduling the meet-up three days from now?

Ichiro: Ah, there’s no problem with that. I’m counting on you.

Jiro: Yessir!

Saburo: Please leave it to me!

Ichiro: Jiro and Saburo have really changed in such a short period of time.

Notes:

Saburo actually says “mazushisa” which is poverty and I uh. Am a Saburo fan first, human being second so uh. I interpreted more favorably for him lol

This was tricky because it used “kyouju suru” which literally means “to teach” and like. Idk, maybe I’m an optimist and want to believe they have been told all their options. So I went with exercise, as in they the second generation are exercising their right to tell the new facility to give ‘em a spot

[rubyleaf]

Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.

So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?

So here goes. The update.

MOST RECENT:

Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.

Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.

Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.

Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"

WANT:

Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.

[iantimony]

tuezdai

i was thinking about crossposting this to dreamwidth and THEN i remembered that ive been looking for an excuse to make. a neocities website. so. :3 i am going to make a neocities page for weekly roundup hehe

relatedly look at this bizarre captcha i got when i went to make an account. like. any of these fools could be robots.

listening: not a lot of music this week but ive been listening to rangedtouch's just king things podcast! i'm listening in order from the beginning and im at about halfway through ep 8 (the dead zone). i really enjoyed their homestuck reread podcast so when that finished i was like. well. i want to listen to these clowns (appreciative) hang out more. time to peruse their back catalog. and ive been enjoying it so far! i wouldn't call myself a huge king-head, i've read carrie, salem's lot, the shining...pet sematary? cujo? a few other misc king stories. there's a short story about a cat that crawls its way down someone's throat i think was stephen king and that one lives in my head rent-free. so definitely a lot of books ive never even heard of in here, and i definitely haven't read the Big King books (the stand and dark tower, mainly) but it doesn't matter too much for podcasting :)

sidebar, i told my roommate about the podcast and she misunderstood the premise and thought it was like. audiobook style. like they were reading the books out loud. i was like babe the stand episode is less than 4 hours long. do you think it's on like 10x speed. lololol

music-wise, @delta-orionis has some DELICIOUS synthwave playlists that ive been working out and studying to. it's like 40 hours long. go nuts

reading: i went to the library with the intention of wandering the nonfiction section until i found something that looked fun but they're remodeling soon so a ton of the stacks aren't open for wandering rn...i can reserve stuff and pick it up but they're not accessible to the public :( the fiction section is though so i grabbed "the birthday of the world", a short story collection by ursula le guin! i thought short stories would be nice because of my lack of time to properly get engaged in a Book and i was right, it rules. i read the first three or so last weekend when i took myself to brunch at a new tea place on main street (3/5 for the brunch, the restaurant is brand new so there are definitely some things that went wrong - food took forever to come out, i was frequently forgotten, after i was seated i waited for like 10 minutes to be noticed by waitstaff, when i finally got my food the rice was crunchy, etc. i would go back to eat there but not any time soon, maybe in a few months after theyve been open for a while. the tea RULED though. their gimmick is like...travel? airplane? so all the staff introduce themselves as flight attendants, and their rewards card is formatted like a passport book where once you get a row of stamps for a certain continent you get a free tea, and once you fill out the whole book you get another free tea........it's so cute.......) actually now im not sure if it's the location the tea came from or the Type of tea? because that top column goes from japan to england which is not exactly a Region. eurasia????? idfk. still cute

anyways. the short stories. i read the first three ("Coming of Age in Karhide", "The Matter of Seggri", and "Unchosen Love") and really enjoyed them! i never finished Left Hand of Darkness (i will return to her one day i promise) but it definitely wasn't required reading even though the first story was set on that same planet. the next story is "Mountain Ways" which is actually available online for those interested :)

watching: more evangelion, and my roommate put on "cunk on earth" for me and it rules it's so funny. obsessed with her.

making: embroidery progress! about halfway done filling in the headphone cord.

as a self reminder, the task list for finishing this is:

fill in headphone cord

words along the side

fill stitch for hair

color in eyes

add misc hair flyaways

misc: quantum midterm thursday......it's open note so im not as frantic as last semester's exams but still. ah. ahhhh. :(

[cherrysdoc]

10/21/24

Warning-talks of struggling mental health

Ahhhh finally, today was the last day at my sucky customer service job!!! I feel alive again lol.

Here’s a quick recap of the past week—

Last week I started my training for my new job (assisting the elderly/disabled folks). It went a lot better than I thought it would actually. They’re gonna pay me more than I thought they would which is honestly a huge blessing. My husband and I aren’t doing the best financially since he lost his job, so I’m so glad to be starting this new job. And like I said in my last entry, I’m excited to spend more one-on-one time with the people I’m working with and getting to know them more personally.

My husband has a job interview coming up, so fingers crossed it goes well. He’s been working hard door dashing, doing school and working on his YouTube channel. And being a good house-husband lol.

Last week, my parents came up to visit me and my sisters who live around. I can’t help but feel that they might be disappointed in me. It’s not they’ve had the highest expectations for me since I started having my mental health issues—I think they must be glad that I’m just still alive.. but still, I have this need to make them proud of me. Sometimes it really hurts me when I think about it, so I’ll stop that train of thought lol.

I can’t believe it’s 10 days until Halloween! I’m excited even though I don’t really have any plans. I feel like Halloween has become less and less exciting over the years. I feel that way about a lot of holidays as I’ve gotten older. I suppose it’s just the childhood wonder just worn off. Everything used to keep me up at night just because I couldn’t wait to wake up the next day.. I wish I could still feel like that.

This post sort of became a bummer the more I wrote lol, but I am looking forward to what the future holds in store for me. Things are on the up and up for sure.

Love from,

Cherry <3

PS We watched ‘The Love Witch’ this past week. I’ve watched it so many times, but I’m still obsessed with that movie ahhh