#i thought about today and suddenly
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I couldn't sleep
#.mimiming ❜#i thought about today and suddenly#well not suddenly#its more#idk#its never gonna happen again is it?#im gonna miss this stupid school with all it stupid teachers and all my stupid classmates arent i#oh fuck#fuck#im only going to go on that school bus to school about thirty more times and its only gonna be to write the exams#i wont be able to hang out with my classmates at class anymore#god fuck im crying#i miss my classroom and the corridors already#we'll be writing out exams somewhere else#not even our classroom#i cant go on the ground again to play throwball or anything#or have lunch in our school again#fuck man#why did this happen#i was supposed to hate this place and be glad i was leaving#why did i decide to go and actually get attached
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I'm probably going to regret this, but:
It is 100% true that people can, and should, denounce Israel's horrifying atrocities without being antisemitic. Unfortunately, it's also true that the people who are the loudest about the fact tend to immediately follow it up with something that makes me think, "people can denounce Israel's crimes without being antisemitic, but you sure haven't managed it."
#so many people who never gave a single fuck about palestinians until last year suddenly became very concerned-#once they thought it gave them license to go mask off about their big opinions about any and all jewish people#i've seen this countless times but today's was one that started out sounding vaguely reasonable and ended up at a vile screed#and of course it was from someone with zero actual rl stake in i/p bc it nearly always is#anghraine babbles#cw antisemitism#politics for ts
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They don't treat Hikaru the same
For how much they emphasise humanising Ai, they don't really apply the same principles to Hikaru. An undeniable monster? A manipulator sure, a monster though, I don't really see it. Ai wasn't a goddess or an invincible idol, Hikaru shouldn't be a monster. They're human beings.
#I really dislike the term monster; it's really dehumanising#They humanise Hikaru and then suddenly he isn't human anymore?#I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished for his crimes; but the term monster really gave me whiplash today#The manga really has been hard to decipher concerning its themes#I thought it was about seeing everyone as human and not a caricature?#oshi no ko#onk#oshi no ko spoilers#onk spoilers#oshi no ko manga spoilers#hikaru kamiki#ai hoshino#my rambles
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It feels like getting pulled underwater—the sharp sideways tug, the slight drag of resistance, then falling, falling, till the waves close over his head. But Logan can breathe when he rights himself again, even if the light has a watery filter to it and the voices have a distant echo. // Sometimes Logan gets a glimpse of guys who've been long gone from the teal, clustered at the far end of the bench or sitting in the box across the ice. He heard Jason's voice in the hallway loud and clear, that infectious laugh. And he could have sworn he saw Raffi fucking Torres getting out of a car in the players' lot. Something tells him not to look up the rosters.
Commissioned @impmakesart to make a painting based on the Sharks' Cali Fin hype reel + the flip side by frausorge. Imp was amazing to work with and I could not be more emotional about this piece and so, so pleased with how it turned out!! 🙇🏻♂️🙇🏻♂️ Commission him here. Thank you Imp!
#as i am sure has been very obvious i have been incredibly unwell this year for a variety of reasons#and i read that fic right after my uncle died suddenly and unexpectedly so i was thinking a lot about hospice while i was reading it#and i was going to about 8 million sharkuda games per week to just not be at home bc everything has fallen apart there#(also for a variety of reasons. but there is a lot of intense grief over my stepsister's death involved)#so today having signed a lease on an apartment on the entire other side of the country to be closer to career stuff and#get a fresh start and a hopefully happier and more stable life (even if a huge move and a career change makes me nervous)#while also the first thing said to me is that another family member had passed this morning (expectedly) and a relative#who became very sick recently (unexpectedly) and who due to advanced age does not have a great prognosis#it became a uniquely precious gift to have this completed and sent to me by imp this afternoon.#the fic + the ensuing games of seeing that reel hit a very tender part of me that has dealt with death and instability my entire life#and it is amazing to see an image of logan's similar loss and instability so perfectly realized!!#his troubled face!! the way it feels both underwater and in another world!! the lights all around that could be anything!!#looking up at the indistinct faces of his teammates who could be so so many people at this point but who he misses nonetheless!!#also PLEASE zoom in on the mist - the texturing and color gradients are SO cool. and the reflection on his helmet is so sick#the color scheme in this is freaking amazing and i just love it all so much man!!!#anyway i don't have a concluding thought. i was going to make this into a puzzle (i'm back on my bullshit)#but i will probably get it printed and framed too#if any of u come visit me know. know that your chances of seeing haunted logan couture are non-zero#and he could be ANYWHERE#art#san jose sharks#logan couture
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Bakugou hates this fucking time of year. Mainly because of the cold and dreary weather, but also because of the holidays and the upcoming expectations of and from him. He’s a damn good gift giver—when he wants to be, and only because he listens, also when he wants to—but the part he hates the most about it?
Gift wrapping. It’s a damn obligation from hell. He’d rather go out and buy all the gift boxes and bags and bows and shit before he’d ever wrap a gift. Maybe he hates it because he’s not automatically good at it, maybe he hates it because it’s just fucking stupid and useless if you’re just gonna tear through the wrapping paper anyway!
But he does it, for you and only you. Only because you came home at the beginning of the month with armfuls of wrapping paper and bows and gift tags and tissue paper and—and too much red and green and white. You’re so excited, and he can’t deny how cute you look sticking your tongue out when you cut the wrapping paper around the gift you got for Mina.
He stares at the present he brought you months in advance, wonders what’s so hard about wrapping a tiny little velvet box? And discovers his hatred all over again for wrapping paper and tape and shear scissors and dumb sticky bows. But the face you make at him? When he hands you the hand wrapped gift hidden under the tree on a horrendously cold morning?
It makes him warmer inside than he cares to admit. You don’t make fun of his wrapping skills or how there’s too much tape and that one hole he made in it when he gripped it too hard. You only grin at him, tear into the gift with haste, whisper about how nice it is to get some hand wrapped from him knowing how much he hated it. But maybe—maybe he doesn’t hate it so much now. Not if it gets this reaction out of you every time.
#thought about this while I was wrapping my nieces gifts today lol#damn near CRIED!!!!!#have y’all ever had to wrap a baby alive or a fucking ARCHERY SET????#HELLO????#so difficult for no reason#my personal hc for me n bkg is that he hates winter like how I hate fall lol#we’re both miserable until spring comes around and then suddenly everything is okay#also is it tacky to wrap an engagement ring LOL that’s not what I pictured in the box but still I’m curious#I pictured a nice necklace or bracelet that is personal to you#like a bday gemstone or the like#BUT IS IT TACKY????#and would u beat him up if he did that bc I think I would a little bit#alright gn I am tired and want that new mozzarella sandwich from Wendy’s#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬
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seward's introduction of van helsing, and VH's first letter, is much more... effusive than i remember it.
#dracula daily#krav speaks#re: dracula#helward september is going to be Hilarious w jonny sims and alan burgon#i do have thoughts about today's entry. proper thoughts i mean. but they careered off a cliff quite suddenly at the end
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I should probably draw more canon complacent GabV1el stuff but I do think it's cute when they cuddle and go on little funny dates sorry. Yeah I know their whole thing is fighting and whatever but. machine and angel kisssy?? ever consider that??
#sorry suddenly started feeling insecure about the two gabv1el wip's I'm working on aha....#Augh I had a thought today. I asked my friends if they thought Gabriel would be more sensitive to non-violent touch because it's something#he's not used to. and then I apologised because I realised how down bad I sounded sdhsdhdh.#it was very much a question for the drawing but. yeah <3 aughh#Ultrakill#GabV1el#Android.txt
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Know better next time
#hiiiiiiii guysssss#so what if I said I ship#meronia#then what???#anywayyy some real tags hold on#death note#my art#death note fanart#Nate river#miheal keehl#these could be stand alone pieces but in my mind they are looking at eachother#like out of NOWHERE I am suddenly having thoughts and feelings about these two#like I get it now#Also drawing Mello was so fucking fun???#idk I like what his face does#a diffrent day I’ll draw a realistic scar#today he only gets Zuko-core scar bc I’m lazy
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Good morning gamers! Hope you all have a good day! <3
As for me...😔 I've perhaps developed. A 4th Yakuza crush...I gotta stop! I can't keep developing more!!
#pan rambles#1st we got I.chiban <3#Who I'm certain will become an official f/o- I just need to reach his games. which will take a while#Second we got Y.agami who IS am official f/o <3#I was going through his tag this morning so he's on my mind today#So many kisses for him!#3rd we got...#Well. Uh.#D.aigo...😔#It was supposed to be a joke! I kept joking about him and my s/i dating at some point!! and then suddenly it didn't become a joke anymore#and 4th is...#I'm not saying who it is-#However I will say that the second I read that he was partially based off of L.upin III and S.pike from C.owboy B.ebop...I knew I was doomed#(For Context. L.upin III is like. an unlisted f/o of mine. Long story as to why I prefer keeping it that way but yeah)#(And S.pike is a pretty recent crush of mine👉👈 I always thought he was pretty handsome and watching the series only made me love him more)#so yeah#A man partially based off of two of those??? It's so over for me😔#Thankfully I still got a while before I play Y.akuza 4!! I'm safe!!!!#Kinda-
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i had the realization that the institute is not only responsible for taking Art's family away (by killing naomi and kidnapping siobhan), but also in giving him a family in return (synth!siobhan and danse who is also a synth)
and like. that hurts ;_; this organization is responsible for his entire world shattering, for all his anger and trauma. his one goal was to destroy that place and everything it stood for, and yet...it ended up indirectly giving him something to live for as well. it feels like a viscous circle.
#kasper yaps#artemis tag#idk if this worded correctly but AUGGHHH#today i suddenly thought about the fact that siobhan AND danse both were created by the institute#and i was like OH MY GOD THE IRONY...
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good morning from my room in my rents' house where i relocated to after 11pm with the help of my sister because i absolutely flipped my shit when i heard something scurrying across the floor of my room last night.
#around 10pm i freaked out because something tried to get under the bathroom door and then disappeared when i yelled in suprise#it looked like a big beetle or roach but i didn't see it long enough to know either way#spent an hour stressed af sitting on my bed because the floor was lava#i think partly because i was nervous about being jumpscared by whatever this was#eventually managed to sort out the lights and the bathroom and decided to go to sleep#and i think i could have dealt with the knowledge that this thing was somewhere in the apartment if i couldn't HEAR IT#suddenly#loudly#in the room#immediately panicked#could not have prevented that reaction in myself#definitely couldn't bring myself down#jammed my fingers in my ears so i couldn't hear it anymore and had to wait for my sister to come and get me#except of course i couldn't get up to open the door so she had to get the spare from my aunt#i'm certain my yelling/screaming scared whatever it was because it wasn't in the room by the time anyone got there#it was not dignified in any way and today i'm going to have to go back to my place#and try to work out how it got in#and try to block every fucking space there is between skirting and floor board#which is basically the entire flat#bugs can exist and i will not be happy about it but i can accept it#but they CANNOT be loud enough that you can HEAR THEM SCURRY#idk what it was!#i thought it was a big roach#i have never seen one in the houses here before#deeply deeply unhappy
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Things are really good lately <3
#I kept thinking this today#People are genuinely sweet#I'm having a lot of fun drawing (even if I'm critical of my things)#and showing wips/sketches to friends (ok mainly one lmao)#got some nice stamps and photography at our local fall festival/Kirmes#good food and cooking again <3#having an actual blast with Patreon even if not many people are there yet (but it's just? idk it's just fun!)#and the best thing is when the bad things suddenly don't seem bad anymore or you completely forgot about them#like work is still fucking intense but ok - feels manageable!#and randomly thought of the social baggage/getting ghosted today - but more as an afterthought of 'oh yeah guess that happened'#and just forgetting about it and turning to friends and family and art#honestly it kinda feels like it all fell into place these days#big reason is really just everyone being nice around me#either just mutuals or friends or just talking with people on the servers#sorry this is just a ramble lmao#I'm feeling so at ease it's really nice - so have a small positive post#sometimes you just gotta write/let it out you know?#delete later
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I genuinely need to talk more about Isabeau, I love him so much he's one of my favorite characters in the game and he deserves so much.
What the game did with his character, his interactions with the rest of the family and his backstory genuinely means a lot to me, it's so perfect and it made me feel so personally seen.
#Also he's such a freak little weirdo that tries to be normal but fails and falls face flat on the ground it's so funny#I love you Isa!!!#isabeau isat#isat#Not enough Isa love in the world I have to change that#I have so much thoughts about him!!!#Like I was just thinking about him all day today. his struggle. his doubt. and then I suddenly started to cry!?!?#He's so much#Both that we see in the game and what we don't see#But I'm not good at articulating those thoughts tufbkddk#rambles#Every time I see people saying that he's no really interesting like the rest of the fam I'm like#Grabs you by the shoulders*#THATS WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO THINK!!!!! NO!!!!! DONT FALL FOR HIS ACT!!!!!#HES LITERALLY JUST LIKE SIFFRIN!!!! WITH HIS OWN FLAVOR OF FUCK UP!!!!#AND THE GAME ACKNOWLEDGES THIS!!!!!!!!#PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG!!!!! HE NEEDS IT JUST AS BADLY AS SIFFRIN!!!!!
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Presented without comment.
#fontaines d.c.#fontaines dc#NME#So NME suddenly thinks they’re in charge again#They behaved for 10 years bc no one would buy their mags and bands were doing them a favour appearing in them#One (1) oasis reunion and suddenly they think they’re back in business#As evidenced by the 50 articles on Oasis they’ve put out in the last week#music#They’re talking about you you idiots#Also hahahaba Liam you say this now but Fontaines are the kind of band Noel would call ‘a proper rock band’#so let’s see where that goes in a year’s time#oasis band#oasis#oasis reunion#Musicians#not the beef is have thought we’d see today#Nevertheless. Fontaines are on a roll; while Oasis did ensure they didn’t get that no. 1 chart spot they deserved#Musically they’re on the rise yet again#Sorry I’ve been posting about this all day n all but I was on the bus home and had time to Ruminate#but what did you all make of it
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Sometimes I realize how much self-indulgent dirkjohn I made and it's like. Genuinely impressive to me. I'm impressed by my own art/fic and even analysis posts because damn, I miss my own energy, you mean I was able to just make shit up because I tend to be a little bit bonkers when I'm really passionate about something? For real?
#i did it with other things too but dirkjohn is one thing that keeps coming back when i least expect#they live in my head like freeloaders and never leave#just get quiet until i think about them literally out of nowhere#i was kinda spacing out in a bus the other day because there wasn't much to look at#and BOOM suddenly I intercept a dirkjohn braincell#they were talking about how to break the news about their relationship to the others btw#today I thought about earth c john accidentally conditioning dirk to be more honest#which just made dirk speak his mind and be a little more snarky in conversations he'd normally overthink in one way or another#john enjoys the mutual teasing and banter with this slightly more bitchy dirk who doesn't hold himself back#but other people like dave and jake aren't exactly prepared for his douche side even though they're supposed to be#but dirk was too afraid to disappoint them in any way#so he was actively biting his tongue on many occasions#dirk's most honest thoughts are mixed blessings#...and here's what I mean by 'freeloaders'#they just live their lives in my head#good for them#dirkjohn
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pla was like hey what if you got sent back in time to a world where a bunch of people hate you for existing and think you must be evil and force you to perform herculean tasks daily just to be tolerated except there’s this one guy who seems to genuinely like you and he thinks it’s really cool that you’re an outsider from another world and he’s there for you in your worst moment when no one else is brave enough to help and then later after it’s all been resolved you find out that this entire mess was his fault in the first place he’s the reason that you’re here he’s the reason that the world was ending and you got blamed for all of that and he turns on you suddenly and reveals he was just using you to achieve his own selfish goal and after you put a stop to him he curses you for being an outsider sent here just to stop him and now suddenly he genuinely hates you more than anyone else because it has dawned on him that you are the epitome of all that he wishes he could be
#see it’s not just about the ‘oh he pretended to be friendly and then betrayed you! oh no!’#you can get a betrayal trope in any old media#it’s about specifically the setup here#like what if he went from being one of the few people to tolerate you in this world#and the only one who can really keep up with you and travel the world and help you as your friend#the only one who’s really genuinely happy that you’re in this world#to suddenly the person who wants you gone most of all#it hits harder than the friendly people in the galaxy team who never hate you but just kinda sit back most of the time#it hits harder than the people who openly express their distrust for you from the beginning and slowly warm up#nah this is the one guy who actually liked you at the start until he realized your reason for being in this world#and it is antithetical to his (perceived) purpose#like ok i gotta be honest i don’t think volo was planning on backstabbing you from the start#bc he didn’t know you were arceus’s champion yet right#you were just some random kid#like i think once you started gathering plates he was like hmmm maybe i can use them…#idk#thoughts for today#pokémon#legends arceus#volo
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