#i think...... as someone who has only really been a content creator of any kind for a couple yrs now

[is-this-yuri]

Please help me survive and escape homelessness.

GFM

KF

CA

I want to be safe by the winter of 2025.

I'm having a difficult time fundraising for my van. Repeated car troubles and various other unexpected issues have eaten into my savings multiple times, and while in a slump I wasn't making as many posts about my situation and I got significantly less donations over the last ~6 weeks on both my gofundme and my kofi/cashapp. While I've 'regained' a lot of what I lost, I've been spending about as much as is coming in. Aside from one instance, my emergency expenses were eaten by my fundraiser savings, which was then gained back about as quickly as I was spending it on my daily expenses. I still haven't reached the goal for the recent $1000 I had to spend on my car.

So far I've lost $2,200 of the $3,100 that's shown on the GFM. I'll be updating the fundraiser to reflect the loss.

I'm autistic and struggle just to meet my basic needs, and despite that I've been denied disability income multiple times. Failing to hold a job (and developing PTSD symptoms from my time being employed), and let down and abandoned by anyone who could support me, I'm left with few resources and few options. I try to make posts when I'm in a good mood, or keep people updated when I'm in a bad mood. I make videos on YouTube, hoping eventually I can show people what their money has gotten for me.

On a good month, I only spend about $600, leaving me some space to save the donations I was previously getting. With winter and the holidays coming, I'm not sure I'll be getting as much money as the warmer months, and I'll be spending more on keeping myself warm and fed over the winter. It will be more like $800/mo now. The only real solution is getting more money than I'm spending, as I'm already spending as little as I safely can.

I'll only take financial advice from someone who has lowered their expenses below mine, with the same disabilities and circumstances as me. What I need is more money, and I don't always have the energy to pay back with art and things like that. I don't even always have the energy to post my pleas for help. I don't have a sponsor to help me make these posts.

I'm in a low energy mode because what can I do with no money? In a state where I have to spend as little as possible, see such slow results, see most of it taken by things outside my control, and somehow keep up hope that this will work?

When I feel safe and have adequate shelter in a van, I'll be able to REST. And then start working harder and making more money one way or another. Whether you think I should suck it up and get a job or you want to see me become a content creator, I need money for any kind of opportunity and I'm just not getting enough.

So, thank you to everyone who's suppported me so far. Thank you to the repeat supports. I'm sorry I had to spend your money on other things. Thank you to the person who covered most of a huge expense I was stressing about a couple months ago. Thank you to the person who sent me $200 to get a hotel and told me to take care of my mental health before saving anything. Thank you to the blogs that have featured my fundraiser in your posts. Thank you to everyone who keeps boosting and cheering me on even though you can't support financially.

I don't know what else I can do to get more people like that to see me. There are so many options on the internet, but it's still a daunting task and as much as I can't really afford to rest, I have to sometimes. Often, in fact.

Please keep boosting this post until my goal is really met. Until I can spend more than $600 a month and actually earn your money rather than beg for it.

[memryse]

if mcyt isn’t fiction then

people who create dnd characters that are similar to them in personality are just playing themselves and should not be treated as having made a character

people who make any other dnd character should also be treated as just playing themselves since people refuse to even consider roleplay smps as fiction

any ocs someone puts a bit of themselves into? nope not fiction!

actors who play a character with the same first name as them aren’t really acting

and so on

maybe YOU can’t separate characters and real people and think that everything you see from a youtuber even when they’re explicitly acting is how they are in real life but we as a fandom just don’t have that issue lol. we’ve had disclaimers and indicators for when we’re talking about characters and not content creators for years because a certain smp contained a character having suicidal thoughts as a result of abuse at the hands of another character and we needed to make it absolutely crystal clear that we were referring to a fictional storyline and not real guy #1 being an abuser and real guy #2 being suicidal. these customs have either extended into other corners of mcyt fandom, or some developed their own independently like hispanic mcyt fans have used the word cubito to distinguish mc guy from real life guy from years, a term that other language speakers liked so much we’ve also started picking it up lol

we know exactly what we’re doing. i get that the line maybe does seem more blurred to an outsider looking in (i wouldn’t know given that both my first fandom at age 12 and current fandom at age 20 were mcrp lol) but it’s universally understood amongst us. i don’t have a problem separating hermitcraft!gem and empires s1!gem the wizard with a twin brother and empires s2!gem the princess and cc!gem the real life canadian woman.

idk it rubs me the wrong way that after years of trying to explain this we’re either met with people calling us racists because of three guys that the rest of us (all of us, really, because dream team fans do not claim to be minecraft fans. those are the type to actually write rpf and ship the real life racist guys) hate probably a lot more than any of you do, or they watch a few minutes of a less roleplay-heavy series/part and decide that the entire medium is invalid as a form of storytelling

it’s so annoying. i don’t think we need to be understood to have validity as a fandom we’ve been doing this for years already without that but it is so infuriating and sad how whenever there’s some kind of fandom poll thing one of three things happens

mcyt fans are banned outright and placed on the same level as something like hp

an mcyt fan runs their own and gets harassed for it

a non-mcyt fan allows us in until they get harassed so badly by whatever fandoms we go up against that they end up deleting our bracket

in what world is that normal behaviour. and that harassment always involves calling them all racist cishet white men such as misgendering both eret (real life bisexual genderqueer person) and their character (also queer), attempting to harass jimmy solidarity fans because jimmy makes mc videos so he must be a dream associate (the only time they interacted was in a tournament during which dream and georgenotfound shittalked jimmy’s best friends to his face), all the shit quackity has gotten for being a former friend of the dream team as if he wasn’t the #1 victim of their racism and xenophobia, the fact that any time c!technoblade is involved in a poll we have to beg other fandoms not to talk shit about him because the real life man died of cancer before dream’s grooming allegations came out, similarly when tfc was in one. and so on and so forth. all because people can’t separate roleplay and real life and think that the entire minecraft sphere revolves around dream just because their idea of mcyt does (not even his own smp named after him did that).

[lemoncrushh]

This is why I haven't been writing...

This got long, but I had to say it.

The lack of feedback has always been something writers struggle with, at least in the ten years I've been on tumblr. It's nothing new. But it feels like instead of improving, it's gotten even worse.

Years ago, I had a long-time mutual bash me for complaining about it, calling me entitled. I was upset about it then, but here's the thing...I am entitled. And so is every other writer on here. We are all entitled to a little feedback and interaction. That's what we're here for.

I understand the drought we're in without any new Harry content. But I would think that would bring even more readers. Instead, it's crickets. There are a handful of popular writers on here who constantly receive asks and get interaction, and I am in no way saying they don't deserve it. They absolutely do. But the rest of us do too.

Writing fanfiction is not a job. We do this shit for free. But it's still as time-consuming as a real job. And to only get likes with very few random reblogs here and there is very disheartening. We are content creators. I understand tumblr may not be like other apps and websites, but it's still content. And likes here mean nothing. It's not like on tikok or instagram where the algorithm somehow keeps track of likes. On tumblr it doesn't mean shit. Your like is not going to make my post show up on someone else's dash. The only way to get content shared on this app is to actually SHARE IT. That's what the reblog button is for.

Imagine how a content creator on any other platform would feel if they got no feedback. If nobody was interacting with them, they would probably get their feelings hurt and eventually pack it in. That is now I feel now. Tbh, I can't believe I've been here this long. If this were a job or a relationship, and I was telling someone else about how long I've been doing this with little to no reciprocation...they would shake their heads at me and tell me I was a fucking fool and I needed to get out of this situation.

Am I getting on my high horse? Damn right I am. I have been biting my tongue for far too long. I have made so many excuses over the years...that fic was too personal and didn't appeal to the mass audience, that fic was an AU and not everyone likes AUs, that fic was too long and most tumblr readers don't read chaptered fics, that fic had such-and-such trope that readers don't like, there are too many writers here now, nobody reads that kind of fic anymore they only want smut, that fic was too smutty, you're just too old and nobody likes you anymore...yes I've told myself all of it. And maybe I'll never really know why you guys don't like my fics or why you won't interact with me. All I know is I'm sick of trying.

I had - and actually still HAVE - loads of ideas for Harry fics. I am honestly so sad that I may never write them. But I just can't bring myself to get motivated and excited to write something when nobody gives a damn.

This definitely turned into a rant, but it's how I feel. I used to really like it on here, but that joy is long gone. Things really changed after the pandemic, and the newer fans don't seem to use tumblr the way we used to - and the older fans like me have mostly left or only pop in sporadically when something happens.

I was never here for likes. I'm bored just scrolling through pictures. Fandom to me was all about interaction and about finding people who loved the thing you loved. Nobody here gives a shit anymore.

I love Harry Styles. And tbh I still love fanfiction. I'm not deleting my blog because I deleted my heart-attack-harry one I'd had for years back in 2021, and I regretted it. This one will remain. And I'll still pop in now and then to read. But my heart is just not in the writing anymore.

Court

[icaruspendragon]

i think the most unexpected part of being a content creator has been just how much parasocial relationships warped my perspective.

like i knew sharing parts of my life with strangers on the internet would mean that even if they didn’t feel like i was a stranger to them, they were all still strangers to me.

and i share more parts of myself online than most. so lots of these people really do know so many things about me, and because of that, sometimes i forget they’re strangers who don’t actually know me.

like someone will leave a comment that i think is funny so i share it with my groupchat and they’ll be like, “berklie, this is actually a really weird thing for a stranger to say to you.” and my response is almost always “oh. 🧍🏻‍♂️”

it’s like i’ve gotten desensitized to people saying what most would consider out of pocket stuff to me. or maybe my threshold for what i consider out of pocket is higher than it should be.

i’m incredibly fortunate in that 99% of what’s said to me is lovely and respectful and that the vast majority of my audience treats me with kindness.

there’s so much talk about people having parasocial relationships, but no one really talks about what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those relationships. and like i know that no one is making me put myself out there like this, that it’s a choice i willingly make.

and i’ve been on the internet for 13 years now, which is literally half my life. i know what it’s like.

i was on this site in 2012 and fanfic.net in 2011. i know how awful and vile anonymity makes some folks get, but there’s a purgatory-esque space i didn’t know existed. and that space is where people aren’t mean, but they aren’t exactly nice, either. they’re weird. and not in a fun way. they’re invasive. and i’ve been exposed to it for so long i only notice when it’s extreme.

and if you follow me and you read this and are thinking, oh god. is she talking about me? the answer is no, i’m not.

i have lots of folks, especially those who comment/interact frequently, that i think of as my “regulars.” these are people i recognize and even go so far as to think about outside of whatever platform i’m posting on. and even if they don’t interact with my content super frequently, i recognize these users. i remember a lot more about people than folks might think.

these people aren’t the problem.

it’s the people who see i’m a person but forget that i’m human, if that makes sense. like of course people objectively know i’m a person. but i think sometimes they forget i’m human. and that i can read. and that i have feelings.

there have been several times where i called someone out for saying inappropriate shit to me and their response has been, “i’m so sorry. i didn’t think you’d see it.”

but i do see it. even if i don’t publicly acknowledge it, i see everything.

i think some people think just because they see more of me that i can’t see any of them. but i do.

so please, please remember i may just be a person that lives in your phone to you, but i’m a human who lives outside of it, too.

regardless of familiarity, i deserve to be treated like i have an existence outside of people’s screens. because i do.

despite appearances or perspective, at the end of the day, i’m just like you.

[i-love-your-light]

too many thoughts on the new hbomberguy video not to put them anywhere so:

with every app trying to turn into the clock app these days by feeding you endless short form content, *how many* pieces of misinformation does the average person consume day to day?? thinking a lot about how tons of people on social media go largely unquestioned about the information they provide just because they speak confidently into the camera. if you're scrolling through hundreds of pieces of content a day, how many are you realistically going to have the time and will to check? i think there's an unfortunate subconscious bias in liberal and leftist spaces that misinformation is something that is done only by the right, but it's a bipartisan issue babey. everybody's got their own agendas, even if they're on "your side". *insert you are not immune to propaganda garfield meme*

and speaking of fact checking, can't help but think about how much the current state of search engines Sucks So Bad right now. not that this excuses ANY of the misinformation at all, but i think it provides further context as to why these things become so prevalent in creators who become quick-turnaround-content-farms and cut corners when it comes to researching. when i was in high school and learning how to research and cite sources, google was a whole different landscape that was relatively easy to navigate. nowadays a search might give you an ad, a fake news article, somebody's random blog, a quora question, and another ad before actually giving you a relevant verifiable source. i was googling a question about 1920s technology the other day (for a fanfiction im writing lmao) and the VERY FIRST RESULT google gave me was some random fifth grader's school assignment on the topic???? like?????? WHAT????? it just makes it even harder for people to fact-check misinformation too.

going off the point of cutting corners when it comes to creating content, i can't help but think about capitalism's looming influence over all of this too. again, not as an excuse at all but just as further environmental context (because i really believe the takeaway shouldn't be "wow look how bad this one individual guy is" but rather "wow this is one specific example of a much larger systemic issue that is more pervasive than we realize"). a natural consequence of the inhumanity of capitalism is that people feel as if they have to step on or over eachother to get to 'the top'. if everybody is on this individualistic american dream race to success, everyone else around you just looks like collateral. of course then you're going to take shortcuts, and you're going to swindle labor and intellectual property from others, because your primary motivation is accruing capital (financial or social) over ethics or actual labor.

i've been thinking about this in relation to AI as well, and the notion that some people want to Be Artists without Doing Art. they want to Have Done Art but not labor through the process. to present something shiny to the world and benefit off of it. they don't want to go through the actual process of creating, they just want a product. Easy money. Winning the game of capitalism.

i can't even fully fault this mentality- as someone who has been struggling making barely minimum wage from art in one of the most expensive cities in america for the past two years, i can't say that i haven't been tempted on really difficult occasions to act in ways that would be morally bad but would give me a reprieve from the constant stress cycle of "how am i going to pay for my own survival for another month". the difference is i don't give in to those impulses.

tl;dr i hope that people realize that instead of this just being a time to dogpile on one guy (or a few people), that it's actually about a larger systemic problem, and the perfect breeding grounds society has created for this kind of behavior to largely go unchecked!!!

[tangosyourtek]

Since you have the best takes ever: why do you like Jimmy and Tango as characters?

Oh gosh uh, I never really thought about that within their characters rather than why they’re my favorite creators.

They’re two of my favorite creators because of their silly energy and how well they bounce off of other people. I enjoy solo content a lot, but they make group content just as amazing and not overstimulating (Jimmy has done this a few times on stream where if the people he’s playing with get really loud in voice chat he’ll back off). I just really love the silly dorkiness they both bring to the table, even as much as I joke that I hate when Jimmy talks brainrot, it’s endearing. They also have some of the best and welcoming experiences with the community. Jimmy is really active with the fandom in twitter, and he always has a segment at the start of stream where he says hello to chat and reads names out. Jimmy also dedicated a portion of stream to scrolling through the reddit and reading what people have to say, compliment their art, and look at memes. Likewise, Tango is always saying hello and goodbye to people in chat when they come and go and It really feels like they actually recognize names in the community. A lot of streamers don’t read chat like that if really at all / the real big streamers tend to only read donations or recognize donators.

I obviously really like their characters because I am so infatuated with the creators themselves, but I think the main reason their characters are also my two favorites is because of their character development throughout the series.

Jimmy is bullied by almost the entire server, some of his own teammates don’t take him seriously, and they’ll go behind his back. He has a streak of dying first, but despite it he has really improved and grown. It’s not just about his placement or how many kills he has but his interactions with others. He’s really started putting his foot down and trying not to let himself be used as a verbal and physical punching bag. He’s always been a survivor and someone who does better on the defensive rather than offensive, and I’m glad we got to see him go crazy with some kills this season.

Tango is someone who sticks with what he knows. He’s never known stability, but the one thing that is constant is who he teams up with- even if it’s not in his best interest. He was playing both all sides in 3rd life, betrayed by his team in last life, and then in double life he had found someone who’s kind of like him that he could trust and actually hold on to. Then in limited life he was ready to sacrifice himself to make sure his time went to his team. He decided that, and I really think “For TIES!” was just the beginning of him putting his foot down. I think he learned to let go, not forgive or forget. He actually felt disappointed this season when he saw Bdubs was chasing him down trying to kill him. He knew from the very start that their team wasn’t a “real team”, and that it would only lead to a betrayal or “kill me if Bdubs needs it later.” He didn’t really accept what their team was, but he came to terms with what it entailed and it wasn’t even Bdubs who was going after him but Grian’s mimicking ability. I’m never getting over that moment…

There’s probably more moments and other things I could mention about their character developments, but I haven’t rewatched any of the series recently except for Double Life, so it’s been a while, and I have goldfish brain…

[beddybites]

Do yiu have any tips on like how to attract more attention 😭 it's been a good while and it's a huge struggle of keeping motivation and not so amazing art so it's hard to sure my characters and their stories bc one thing a can say in confidence is I am a good writer I'd like to think, people tell me I have and oddly good but cryptic way of writing that keeps people enthralled, but my biggest struggle is getting them interested in the first place 😭

hi there!! i admittedly dont really know much about the world of writing and how to gain more attention there, but i can try to give tips and see what applies & sticks!

start off short & simple and build it up over time

if you start off with something big and complicated there will be more pressure to keep things big and complicated. theres nothing wrong with short and simple and mixing it up here & there (ie with art: if you only post full pieces with extravagant rendering people will keep expecting it. mix it up a bit. i try posting a variety of sketches and doodles and more detailed things— sometimes some things do better than others and thats ok!

it is 100% okay to repost/reblog your own work

if you ever see me spamming my blog with the same posts, its so i have it back on peoples feeds and on my main profile and its easier for people to find. its also likely that some ppl missed the post, and reblogging/reposting gives them the opportunity to see it!!

something something “its cringe and egotistical” WRONG!!!!!!!!!! its completely normal for creators to repost their content and it may help a lot!!

short & sweet descriptons

when you post, avoid giant paragraphs of text, especially if you’re including art in the post. people will be distracted and will see a giant post and just scroll past it

speaking of descriptions, try using trendy words and notable names

its kinda like hashtagging. if you look at my posts you’ll typically see how i will drop people’s full names + include the word “art” or “doodle” … this is because it will more likely show up on someones feed if said person looks up the same words.

ie: googling “muichiro tokito art” -> insert my post popping up because it has “muichiro tokito art” written out in the description

i admittedly have trouble providing tips as someone who doesnt rlly understand how i got noticed to begin with haha. something something imposter syndrome or whatever they call it these days… so im not really sure if anything above helps, but this is stuff i typically try to keep in mind when i post with the intent of trying to get people to see it

more importantly—

i know this is cheesy and this is easier said than done (i have this habit too a lot of the time) but numbers does not equal ur worth or talent. i know it isnt motivating and it can be so heartbreaking): but even if ur stuff doesnt get a lot of notoriety please know it doesnt define your value . this may sound like gibberish as it is 5 am as im posting this but truly… never give up on ur work!!! i promise u someone out there loves it

im more well known for my deaging & fluff content and to this day im rlly shocked it blew up the way it did. i really made it for myself. i came up with a whole alias and didnt plan on posting it anywhere bc i was so scared ppl would hate it and harass me or nobody would gaf. but eventually i was just like Man. if this thing helps me then maybe it can help someone out there too. and it helped provide ppl some joy & wonder and whimsy & made them feel seen and truly thats all i could ever want…

its difficult and its hard but i promise u… be patient and kind to yourself. it can definitely be hard sharing things around and getting that exposure you need but there are ways for sure. some journeys are faster than others and thats ok!

again sorry if this is all gibberish its super late ): but i hope this could help in some way shape or form

[corpseconvulsive]

Hi! My name is August and im here to address the rumors of Toby/Plague, a cosplayer and content creator being a groomer and other accusations made within the last few days

You may recognize my name from other posts made regarding myself and other rumors including the rumor that i am one of the people Toby is grooming, which is devastating in my eyes because never once has Toby acted in a predatory way towards me, he is truly one of the coolest dudes ever.

Why did this rumor start? Its because of one screenshot where i am describing that i am cold and toby makes a joke saying he will “wrap his feet around me” which was obviously a joke, wrapping your whole ass feet around someone is not even humanly possible?

I fully consent to the sexual and darker jokes and fully enjoy them as we use in private in our servers for just ourselves and friends watering our humor down in the Blood of Salvation server, Toby always makes sure to respect a boundary if it is brought to his attention, still TO THIS DAY i am asked at least twice a month sometimes even three times if my boundaries have changed, the only one being to not make fun of me for my weight as it makes me incredibly insecure, Toby has never broken that boundary. If people had an issue with our humor, we have always communicated in the server that they can message a moderator to discuss any issues, no one ever messaged us saying they felt uncomfortable.

I can address that our humor is quite sexual and dark to begin with, however if toby is not personally friends, he controls his humor ESPECIALLY around minors, there have been many occasions where Toby has mentioned he is kind of sick of minors joining the server just because they simp and suck up to him and how gross he feels when people act like that just because the find him hot.

Majority of the jokes made were in a chat where only the moderators and admins can talk which you can choose if you want the channel to be visible or not, all moderators who are close friends talk here, we didnt say many of the screenshots shown to random members although we should have been more careful with what we say as some people are incredibly young.

Also the way this was handled was horrendous, Seirei has a large platform that i stopped following a few months ago, her content was great in my eyes and i completely idolized her because she seemed really cool, however things like calling ticci toby an abuser and other drama that arised has caused me to stop following her. She should have handled it like an adult and talked to everyone mentioned to get both sides as some people involved are minors which is so dangerous seeing how people are being doxxed now, some involved are as young as 14. Seirei’s posts are in my eyes, the reason this stupid situation has gotten to the point people have begun doxxing Toby and others, this in my eyes, is terrible, even for the ones making up these rumors and statements that are being doxed as well. I have no respect for those making up these things about my friend, however i think everyone deserves the right to feel safe in there own home without worrying about there information being leaked and something happening to them.

I have messaged Seirei who said to message her if you have more information or input as it says on her tiktok, explaining that Toby is indeed not a fucking creep towards me, is definetly not grooming me as I know the signs I have been groomed twice in my life for long periods of time such as 2-3 years starting before i was even a teenager, and about screenshots and things said about me in general regarding an old situationship. Seirei has not acknowledged my message along with another friend who has messaged her for a simple question.

Regarding the things with my ex situationship, i do not know why it is being brought up as it was irrelevant to this however all i will say is yes i sent her nudes however she did happen to start sending them first and it was a common thing for us to act sexual with one another, also one of the people who happens to be making accusations about Toby has told me i must not have sexual trauma if i sent nudes to her when I admitted i was a victim of sa and grooming which is a horrible thing to say to any victim to disregard what happened to them, it is not right and vile to do that to any victim no matter what abuse they have trauma and scars from, especially when some have developed hypersexuality from the trauma such as myself.

I would also like to discuss how these people accusing toby are hypocritical as well, they act like they have not done similar things while they have.

Robin, someone who started this mainly from what i know, loves to simp and support Jimmy Urine, who if you dont know who that is, he is a giant pedophile and was the singer of MSI(Mindless Self Indulgence). He has been charged with sexual battery against minors and they fully support this man and call him hot and basically drool all over him.

Virus is a person Toby used to be friends with before i came into the picture, a minor who said sexual shit and has wrote multiple in depth paragraphs about wanting to do sexual things with Toby as a minor before Toby finally kicked him from the server and blocked him entirely due to the shit he was saying. When i became friends with Toby I had heard stories about Virus as the server was still below 100 members(believe i was the 96th member after i messaged Toby asking if he had a server since his discord was on his IG) so the server was a close tight knit group with the moderators and there friends before it was opened for the public. After making it public Virus made MULTIPLE TikTok accounts and Discord accounts to join the server after being banned for his weird actions, how do we know? Because this dude kept posting art in his style, I was one of the people who analyzed the art as I am an artist myself, the eyes, nose, face shape, style, is all the same. He even presented us with a fake tiktok account, it was him in a red curly wig, same background as his other tiktoks. He is obsessed and seems to come back at least once every month or two.

Many others have made r34 of characters which is gross, like i mentioned before told me i couldnt have been sa’d and groomed if i sent nudes, someone tried accusing me that i was an adult talking to my situationship who is a minor despite the fact that my ex situationship was older than me, accused Toby of asking a minor to show him their tits as a joke meanwhile the “minor” i question is our friend Kat who is 23 so definetly a minor, people have called moderators who do there job mean, saying its wrong that we “shit talk��� members meanwhile we only “shit talk” members if youre being stupid and we think its a possibility youll break the rules and start shit meanwhile these people accusing toby have servers and gcs on discord made for the purpose of shitting on Toby, myself, and other members of the staff in the crp server, and a bunch of other stuff.

As you can see, the list goes on with how hypocritical these people are, using things out of context to try and get the point across when all they are doing is lying to paint Toby in a bad light, its disgusting how they accuse Toby of being a groomer when this is who happens to be accusing him. Again to the rumor Toby is grooming me, i can fully state that no he is not grooming me, he has never acted romantically in any shape or form with me, he has never acted predatory towards me or any others, I mean if I dont text him, my dms are drier than the sahara desert with that man, hes not one to text first so sometimes i go a day or two without actually speaking to him. I know the signs of being a groomer from experience and research, Toby is not grooming myself or any others and its bullshit that people are accusing him based on messages taken out of context.

Thank you for reading🖤🖤❤️❤️

[witchyfemking]

🌹🐉Queen/Mother Lilith master-post 🐍🦇

DISCLAIMER

There are many people saying that working with Queen Lilith is closed, id ask that you please go to the last link. A Jewish content creator goes into detail about why 1.) That's false and 2.) Why claiming this is actually antisemitic.

I understand that this deity may hold a negative context to different people/cultures(i.e. people of Jewish culture)/faiths etc. Please be respectful and mindful. Both the people and the divinity have the right to respect. Just because a divinity/entity has been the best thing in the world to you, doesn’t mean that’s the case for someone else(vice versa). Thank you for your consideration.

Mother Lilith is a divinity that I hold very dear. She has been a big help to me and has guided me in my journery of self love and reparenting myself.

Lore/mythology (briefly summarized)

Lilith originally was the first wife of Adam; made from the same primordial matter as her counterpart by the one who created her. She has left the garden in anger because she refused to lay under Adam; Lilith wanted to be seen as Adams equal but he refused. God sent angels to take Lilith back to Eden at Adam’s request. She was located near/in/at the Red Sea. Her children had been slain because of her refusal to return. ( I have heard conflicting info from different sources but I’ll recall what I think is to be more accurate at this point). Some of the fallen angels (a big figure being Lord Lucifer) had made themselves acquainted with her and they had gained each others’ trust. This is the point where Lilith had became a demon and was at least set on the path to becoming a highly ranked Infernal deity(if not at this point already). Lilith at some point after this whispered empowering thoughts into Eve during her dreams; leading her to eat the fruit.

Lilith also has an aspect tied to the Mesopotamian demon Lilitu.

Signs/Symbols of Queen Lilith(some i’ve personally experienced as well):

Snake imagery

Birds( robins, cardinals, blue jays, doves, owls or any corvid/black bird) I’d like to mention that she left me a robin who had passed, cause she knew I’d give it a proper burial.

Witnessing any of her other sacred animals (mentioned below) or frequently seeing imagery of them

Me and other devotees of hers have known her to send really animal that’s black as signs

rose imagery

sudden interest in her

sudden yearning desire to explore oneself/identity

speaking up/ standing up for yourself in circumstances in which you normally wouldn’t

for uterus owners; in my personal experience she had gotten terribly frustrated that i wasn’t noticing her so she started affecting my ‘moon cycle’. I experienced irregularities, increased pain and moodiness. I also got much more fatigued during my time of the month in the time she was trying to get my attention. She may or may not feel the need to do something of this fashion to get your attention; My only assumption that she did so in my case is because I was extremely oblivious. However I highly implore you discuss things with your doctor before concluding that this is the cause.

You may notice the wind howling louder

Vampiric/Succubus imagery/energy

Draconic and/or primordial energy

Energy of water or the ocean

Feeling of not necessarily one certain element (maybe all of them together)

feelings of a motherly energy

dreams/visions of red or dark haired woman( i’ve honestly had her appear to me as blonde). She may be a witch, possibly a queen. She could be protecting you during the experience ( if you’re on her good side ofc)

Sacred animals of Queen Lilith

Snakes

Dragons

Hyenas

Cats of various kinds ( domestic, wild, especially with black or dark coats)

Ostriches

Spiders

Unicorns

Owls

Goats

Bats

What does Queen Lilith specialize in? What can she help you with?

taking back your power

shadow work ( specifically the feminine side of the side)

tapping into/ welcoming your dark feminine energy

welcoming dark femme energy into your life

dark femme workings

defends women/femmes and children who’ve suffered abuse(especially s3xually)

Improving sexual relationships

asserting independence

support in women/womxn’s/femmes rights

fighting oppression/sexisim placed on women/fem identifying people by the patriarchy(or in general)

assistance in gaining respect and/or recognition for contributions

exploring/awakening sexuality (especially if you need assistance with you libido)

sex magic ( more specifically feminine dominance)

Assistance with menstrual magic/spells/rituals

Help in any women/female health issues ( menstrual issues, moods swings, feritility, MtF/FtM etc.)

( i recommend you be treated by a medical professional along with the last point; mundane before magical; magic/spirituality shouldn’t be used in place of medical treatment, simply as support.)

Correspondences/ Offerings

Herbs/Plants/Scents:

Belladonna (POISONOUS)

Nightshade (POISONOUS)

Mugwort ( still use with caution)

Sandalwood(Red + White)

Patchouli

Rose

Jasmine

Lotus

Dragon’s Blood

Cinnamon

Olibanum

Camphor

Myrrh

Jasmine

Frankincense

Amber

Saffron

Crystals:

Onyx

Fire opal

Diamond

Ruby

Obsidian

Topaz

Red Jasper

Red Carnelian

Black Moonstone

Black tourmaline

Jet

Garnet

Clear quartz

Food/Drink:

Chocolate ( Especially anything Dark and/or spicy )

Lime

Pumpkins/ Gourds(idk if gourds are edible tho, but to a deity it doesn’t matter lmao)

Red velvet sweets

Chocolate cake

In my personal experience, she loved these Sriracha Peanut Butter Chocolate Cupcakes I used to be able to get.

Spicy foods

Apples

Pomegranates/Pomegranate juice

Colors:

Black

Reds (Especially blood red or velvet tone)

Purple

Orange

Gold

Magenta

Dark pink

Silver

Dark Grey

Time/Days:

Wednesday

Friday

Witching hour (either Midnight or anytime 3-4 am)

Dark/New Moon phase

Beltane Sabbat/May Day ( sexual theme of the holiday)

Oct. 24 ( some sources claim this is the day Lilith left Eden)

Feb 29 (on leap year. Woman are known to break traditional norms during this time)

Miscellaneous:

Empress (Tarot)

High Priestess (Tarot)

Moon ( Tarot)

Strength (Tarot)

Any Queen Card ( More Specifically to my UPG, Swords and Wands suits)

Air and Fire are her main elements. However, she does not limit herself to one specific element, she has traits of all.

Vampiric/Succubus energy

Draconic/Primordial Energy

What is she like?

To me, Lilith is very much like a mother. Im sure you could probably guess by how I addressed her in the beginning of this post( which I call her Mother Lilith for personal reasons). She very much holds the energy of a firm mother who cares very much for her children. Lilith is very much stern when she feels the need, but knows when you need her to be gentle. Many times she has been a source of comfort and encouragement for me. If you show her the decency and respect she deserves, she will give it to you in return. If she sees you as her child (or holds you dear in anyway) she will go to distant lengths to protect you or to show your abusers not to mess with you again ( at times on her own accord). There are times where she made things difficult for people who wronged me on her own(probably a lot more I don’t know about). Mother Lilith is extremely supportive and will be there when needed, but she will not coddle you. She will not baby you. I see a lot of practitioners say “ she wont hold your hand” that’s true in a sense. Yes there are things you need to face alone, but a mother wont deny holding your hand if needed, she just wont do things for you. She will empower you to do things with independence. Lilith is definitely the kind of mentor to give you a rude wake up call when you’re not acting like yourself or doing things that wont benefit yourself or others. She is not afraid to be mean and wicked with you if need be.

Lilith’s energy generally feels airy and fiery. She carries herself regally and a sense of pride. Like i’ve mentioned, she doesn’t necessarily tie herself to one element, I’ve felt energy of all elements come from her, I assume this comes from her shapeshifting nature.

Sources and links

My own personal experience and UPG

Lilith Queen of the Night

Lilith and Witchcraft

Lilith: The Demonic Paradise Wiki

Lilith ( Occult world entry)

Tumblr users entry on Queen Lilith (i’ve honestly had a rocky history with the author of this post, I hadn’t realized who this was until after I recorded the information, but I still am going to give them credit where it’s due because it’s only right and their post gives solid information)

https://occult-world.com/lilith/

[ataraxixx]

my piece on why i really like echo. i have ruminated a lot of these thoughts in my brain for awhile but i realized ive never actually made a public post abt it .. echoheads lets discuss extensively

see. i think we can all agree about the most common echo characterization. at least the one i usually see in fics? and generally most fan content. hes a happy-go-lucky guy whos a bit child-like or naive, very innocent and mostly just glad to be here and full of wonder and whimsy and etc. and also really loves zane and is very kind and sweet and etc.

i am not saying this is an incorrect characterization by any means . obviously. because hes literally got like 5 minutes of screentime and most of that is spent not talking so its really up to whoevers writing him how they want to take his character. but i also think that making him just. Fine with everything is a very underwhelming way to take his character. because he could be so much more than just. zane's brother who is innocent and silly. he can be innocent and silly and still have complicated feelings about his situation and existence yk.

i enjoy villain/antag echo bc it gives him a role in which to explore those complicated feelings as Himself. not as second fiddle to whatever zane is doing, but as a story of his own to come into his identity. because often times when hes included in fan content hes there just to be zanes brother and nothing else. which is so sad for him. because in canon thats all he ever was and all he'll ever be to his father. to zane. to the ninja. he's just the copy. the lesser version. he can never be his own self he will always be a derivative of zane.

like how is that not an interesting thing to explore. and how could we not think about the complicated feelings he would have about that. echo isnt stupid. he isnt incapable of having those kinds of feelings about his identity or role in the world because he is Literally Zane. he is programmed to be identical and he is in every facet of his personality and mannerisms a reflection of how zane was before he met wu/the ninja. when he was just a bit clueless about the world but not Stupid. just unknowledgable. and he was still capable of complicated feelings about himself because we see as early as episode 2 of season 1 he is wondering about himself and his role in the team and how he feels about the world. he isnt just content every day of his life to simply be there; he questions things and thinks about them deeply. why do fan creators often rob echo of this same capability and dumb him down to simply being child-like or incapable of complicated thought?

i always see him just. Fine with everything. and i dont think he needs to be a villain or evil or even violent to make him an interesting character. but i also think that anger and violence is a natural progression of the situation he has been put in by the doctor and by extension the ninja. they too do not regard him as his own individual, only as an extension of zane. which is literally crazy. because he is a whole ass person. they disregard his identity because its the same exact one as a person they already know; but he has no control over that. he didnt ask to be made as a copy of someone else, and now he exists, and he is forced to live knowing he was never his own person, even though he Is. Because he is Himself and he Exists and yet he isnt because his face doesnt belong to him and his voice doesnt belong to him and his name doesnt belong to him. the world decided he is someone else and he cant be who he actually is because someone else is Already him. like christ man. why are we sleeping on this and just making him like yayyy:3 im so happy i love everything or whatever. bro should be questioning his existence!

because i do think joining the SoG gives him such an excellent entry into both formulating his own identity while also paralleling harumi in an interesting way; for both characters in their attempts to create their own identities opposing the ones theyve been forced into, they end up only relating themselves to that identity anyway. in echos attempts to separate himself from zane he ends up relegating himself to hating zane because zane took something from him, an acknowledgement that he is a copy in the first place. their scrapped fight dialogue is so interesting guys. a discarded replica an experiment left to rust. should he not be upset that despite not asking to be made, much less in the image of someone else, he was left abandoned? that he was created solely to be hated by his creator for not being Someone Else? And now he is stuck always chasing after the shadow of that person because he was never meant to be his own person. only zane's copy. never as good as the original. and he has to live with that. its so devastating and good characterization and so interesting that i cannot pass up on it for simply having him be Guy Who is Happy and Innocent.

He is not stupid. He would definitely have less anger in his heart if the ninja got to him before Harumi did, but i think its so impossible that he can simply look at zane and feel nothing. that he can see the person who has cursed his existence into meaninglessness and just be like omg brother:3 because he is doomed to constantly be relegated to Zane's Brother and he will never be Echo to these people that call him a friend. He cant even use his own name he has to be Echo. because its someone elses name and not his even though it Is His its the name his father gave him. but hes not allowed to use it because hes not the original. and he is lesser. and he will always just be zanes brother and he will never be zane. and he will never even be echo. isnt that so fucked.

[demonqueenart]

Hey, thanks for bringing this stuff about DnP to light! Obviously, as a someone who’s been a fan of theirs (and still is) for about ten years now, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but even when I was younger I could tell that some of the jokes/statements they made were definitely in poor taste. I never acknowledged the wider hurt it may have caused, though, and I’m definitely learning to be better than that and listen to when poc are talking about these issues.

I guess there’s definitely an element of defence, particularly in this day and age, where people immediately assume that their faves are being cancelled and they’ll rush to defend them to avoid that from happening. To be fair, I’ve been that person before in the past, but I’ve learnt to internalise that “no, people aren’t trying to cancel DnP or ruin people’s fun, and believing that is simply immature; we are simply holding them accountable so that they can make amends and make the space more inclusive to everyone.”

I know there isn’t anyone that you can fully trust, but DnP have always shown capacity for kindness, acceptance and inclusion (as a trans person, I noticed over the years how they became more and more trans inclusive with their language, which was nice to see), especially with their recent support for Palestine which so many other creators have not bothered to even talk about, so I want to hold out hope that they would genuinely want to make up for what they’ve done, and I really hope they do. We all hope that. In the meantime, it’s up to us a phandom to make the space more inclusive to poc fans and to allow this conversation to happen without getting scared or angry or defensive.

I’d also like to point out, even though I know that this isn’t in any way related to the conversation at hand, that I was personally disappointed by a tour announcement because I knew I wouldn’t be able to go. Even though the most basic tickets are technically cheap, they’re still not accessible to a lot of poor people, and considering the UK is going through a cost of living crisis right now, it was certainly a bit of a slap in the face. I will admit, I was incredibly surprised that Dan put WAD on YouTube for free, so there is obviously a growing understanding on their part that their tours aren’t accessible to everyone, so I’m hoping they’ll find a way to make this new tour accessible, but I still think this tour has a problem with exclusivity in a LOT of different areas, as you’ve pointed out. I have friends from different continents who have complained about the exclusivity of the tour, even from friends who are in Europe (but aren’t in the more Western parts of Europe; there are no shows in Greece for example, despite the fact that there’s a large number of English-speaking phans in Greece).

One last thing I want to mention, though, I saw an anon talk about the subtitles on their videos. I have sensory processing issues, and I’ve always found that their videos have proper subtitles on them. I’m not sure whether I’ve missed some videos, but I’ve watched a substantial amount of their content and I haven’t found the subtitles to be a problem, so I’m wondering if perhaps the subtitle issue might be an individual issue instead? Again, I really don’t want to assume if I’ve got something wrong, but for me personally, DnP are one of the only YouTubers I’ve been able to trust to have proper subtitles on the majority of their videos, so that ask confused me. If anyone’s able to clear up that confusion, I’d appreciate it, because I don’t want to misrepresent someone else’s experiences just bc they don’t match mine.

Anyway, I’m really sorry for the long ask. Again, thank you for bringing this all to light, and I really hope things improve. I will always love Dan and Phil, and I trust that their hearts are in the right place the majority of the time, so I really do hope they grow from this. I’ve seen genuine growth from them over the years already, but there’s still a way to go, and none of us can shy away from it no matter how much we want to.

Stay safe, and have a nice day!

I'm glad I can be the one to shed light on racism and normalize talking about it in this community. Back when we weren't able to have this discussion properly, I would have never expected people to ever understand or accept me in this community again. I was told by many of my well-intended friends who've been here longer than me that the only way to move forward was to make peace with the racism that was happening here. (And don't get me wrong, they meant well and they’re a very good friend of mine for that. They didn't have to support me when I was at my lowest, when I was so damaged from it I could hurt them so easily. But they did it anyway because they cared. Some of them may not even share the same worldview as me, but that has never been a barrier for them to reach out and say they support me.) What I'm trying to say is, that the phandom was that bad before: The only way to survive as a poc who's being oppressed by this community in the past was to shut up about our experiences, or leave.

So when I saw your ask, able to articulate a full understanding of the situation of what's going on here, it feels like I had served my purpose. For the past fifteen years of this fandom's existence, we have never been able to talk about this until now. And yet, me and other blogs talking about this have managed to make an impact, enough to make us finally open up about it. A lot of you feel safe enough that you no longer chose to go anon by it now. That is fucking amazing. I hope that it has been healing and educating for all of you, and that we as a community will be able to move forward in the right direction this time :)

As for the subject of subtitle issues, I would admit I don't know a lot about it too much, since I never have to use it. From what others have said in the tags, it seems older videos had proper subtitles, thanks to the free community captioning. But ever since the hiatus, everything has been all over the place and they might not have that proper system to rely on anymore?? I don't know much, so if anyone is interested in expanding more on the subject, or more to where the op of this ask can be coming from, I would love to hear more. We should know what exactly happened so we can bring this to dnp to see where we can improve. (Also, I’m glad that ask opens more discussion about this now. And I didn’t realize it’s disability pride month, yay!)

[ID/ a banner with light blue sparkly background; the disability pride flag slides in from the left and darker blue text pops in reading "Make some noise for Disability Pride Month!!" /end ID]

Banner by dapg-otmebytheballs

Auto-message: This ask’s purpose is to acknowledge dnp’s past/present exclusivity, not to cancel them! But to embrace mistakes that they’ve made so that 1. we won’t exclude people in need in this community, and 2. we can normalize bringing up exclusivity so that improvement can happen. Hopefully this will one day help dnp realize that this is a safe space for them to talk about their mistakes, so that this space can become safe for people of all kinds too <3

*If you don’t understand what is happening, scroll through my blog for context. And I’ll be taking time to answer my asks, so don’t think I’m ignoring youuu*

[fordtato]

Gffan has done the following:

-Letting people comment transphobic stuff on his Server

-associating with a reddit mod whos known to be transphobic

-openly showing weird distaste for the Dipper being Trans headcanon (didn't he also say: "I hate the Dipper Trans Theory" to us once?)

He also believes there’s only 2 genders

Hello. So. I do not normally respond to anonymous discourse like this in my inbox as a rule (especially given this site's proclivity for seeing anon callouts weaponized against trans people and women and people of color), but I felt it was important to do this in this case, since I am publicly working on a project with ThatGFFan.

I have known GFFan for over a year now now (in an exclusively online capacity), and in that time, he has not only never misgendered me (a nonbinary trans person, someone outside the "2 genders" framework) but has also actively corrected people who have misgendered me. I have witnessed him speak against transphobia in the fandom and against transphobic content creators. The idea that he "believes there are only 2 genders" is inaccurate by every account I have of him.

As for other accusations in this ask, such as him "associating with a reddit mod who is known to be transphobic" I don't have any evidence for this presented to me, and even if I did, association in a public online space is not the same thing as sharing transphobic sentiment. There is room in any online space for a conversation about the optics of this kind of engagement, but if I had to apologize for every person I've ever engaged with civilly who I later learned was problematic in some way, I'd be here all day, and that would be an unproductive use of my time, and would not undo any harm done by that person.

Lastly, I hope ThatGFFan will not mind me saying this, but he is a young person (younger than you think, I assure you). If he has engaged with unsavory people in the past, or has indicated any kind of transphobic sentiment (neither of which I have any evidence of) it is my belief that we need to allow people to grow, especially when I have actively witnessed that growth firsthand. And in that case, I do think (and maybe I'm putting my faith in the wrong person here, so I hope this doesn't bite me one day), that he has made an active effort to learn how to do better, even if he makes mistakes in that process.

What you have done, anon, is entered my inbox with accusations against a person of color, half of which have no evidence behind them, and the other half that I personally know to be demonstrably false. Nobody who is a victim of this transphobia has come forward, at least that I saw, and if they did, that would be up to ThatGFFan to respond to - not me, a trans person unrelated and far-removed from whatever incident you are talking about (an incident that likely occurred when ThatGFFan was a minor, in any case).

I don't have a big platform. I am a small creator (much smaller than ThatGFFan), and a trans Palestinian person. Why am I being called upon to answer for a cis person's (alleged) missteps as they grow into an adult? Why am I being called upon to publicly shame and renounce a person who has shown me kindness and allyship? Is it so I can prove my dedication to the fight against transphobia? My entire blog, my entire body of work, my entire existence, has been an active fight against transphobia.

I mean, by God, all I can do is hope I'm doing the right thing here, but I vouch for him. Or I at least vouch that he is trying.

(p.s. I hope this goes without saying, but someone disliking a specific queer headcannon does not indicate one's political beliefs, and this is not going to be an accusation that I really engage with, because it sets a bad precedent. This is not a moral wrongdoing. This is an opinion you are suspicious of.)

[giantchasm]

I have a joke for everyone. A spider, a wasp, and a… thing wander into a bar. They walk up to the bartender and-

Okay, no. Seriously, what is that!? It’s giving me the heebie jeebies!

Wait, what’s that? Your saying the crime against god in the center there is the protagonist of my current WIP fic?

…Whoops.

Goofs and gaffs aside, recently I’ve been writing a fic where Sectonia gets brought back and she’s kind of Messed Up. I’ve even posted about it a little! It’s been a fun time and I’m looking forward to sharing more.

However, as someone who stalks the Sectonia tag, I couldn’t help but notice there were two other people working on AUs that featured Sectonia being brought back in some way, shape or form. Girl’s a popular bug!

I think, typically, when I realize a project I’m working on is in any way similar to something other people are working on I tend to get a little anxious. I get scared people will think I’m “copying” them even when I conceptualized my idea on its own. Probably the OCD talking. You know how it is.

But you know what? That’s a bad attitude to have! It shouldn’t be scary to me that there are three different people working on AUs that involve a resurrected Sectonia right now. It should be cool! All of us, individually, loved her enough to want to give her a happier ending. Isn’t that sweet?

And not only that, but it’s really fun and interesting seeing how all of us have tackled the concept differently.

Joronia from @paintpanic’s Resurrection AU has returned as her original self, both in psyche and form. Not only is she a spider again, but she seemingly sees herself as, well… still herself— still Joronia, even despite the guilt she clearly feels over her actions as Sectonia.

In contrast, Sectonia from @chowmoon2’s Mortal Souls AU is still ‘Sectonia’ to the point where it’s effectively a form of ego death for Joronia. She’s no longer a complete monster, but she resembles the girl she once was so little she may as well be a new person. Seemingly, she doesn’t even see them as one in the same.

Then ‘Nia’ from my Perennial Bloom AU… well, she’s still trying to get that figured out: who or what exactly she is. Uncorrupted but still deeply traumatized and angry, she doesn’t want to be ‘Sectonia,’ but also feels like she no longer deserves to be ‘Joronia.’ And if she’s neither of those… then, well, who exactly is she now? And what does Taranza— who she’s so concerned with the opinion of, want her to be? There’s a lot of inner torment there, and it reflects in her physical form.

It’s awesome. How all three of us wanted to see her brought back, but did it in such different ways… and not only in our characterizations of the ex-tyrannical-queen! Additionally, we’ve all gone for different methods of revival and developed her relationships with various characters in such a wide variety of ways. Outside of Taranza (the universal constant), it seems these girls have entirely different social circles!

It’s fun. I think if they were to meet, they’d have a lot to talk about… and so I drew it! Both because I thought it would be interesting and because I wanted to give a shout-out to two other awesome creators making content involving our favorite (not-so) dead girl.

I hope both of you like it! I’ve never interacted with either of you before, so I felt just a little bit awkward drawing your gals, but I couldn’t resist. Sectonia fans have got to stick together. There’s approximately only five of us total, after all.

Undead spider(?) group therapy tea party time!

[kanmom51]

JK live 21 July 2023 London - Part 1

cr./to the creators of the content used in this post.

This is a big one.

So big that I had to split it into 2 parts.

It might feel a little repetitive at times, but here's the thing, JK repeats himself A LOT in this live. He's making a point. Driving it in. Making sure we understand. Like really get where he's going with it.

A defining moment I would say. JK continues to tell it as it is, and he's getting bolder and bolder.

I mean, JK has been giving us these in abundance, but this one is big not only because of what he says during the live, but also the timing of it all.

But before I sink my teeth into the live itself I will start with the numbers. A fun start to it all.

JK started the live on 21 July 2023 11:42 pm or 23:42 London time.

11:42 and 23:42

1+1+4+2=8

2+3+2+4=11

8/11

Now let's look at the date:

21.07.2023

2+1+7+2+2+3=17

And if you go by 21.7.23 then:

2+1+7+2+3=15

Take your pick:

8/11/15

or

8/11/17

What do you think – a coincidence?

And now let's get it.

Do we start with what he was wearing? Distressed jeans, not sure of the brand, and another Masion Mihara Yasuhiro T-shirt (I think that by now we agree this is the Jeon-park go to brand of late). Also has his bracelet and the pinky ring.

You know - the what seems to be new and special pinky ring (which god dammit he sure did abuse during the live).

Intentional or not, that ring was front and centre during the live, and intentional or not it put the wooga ring theory to rest. You know, the whole Coco Chanel stupidity. Done and dusted.

JK came live telling us he's tired (you could see how tired he was) and was going to wash up and go to sleep. But obviously he had thing he needed to tell us before, so he came live, a little (more like a lot) charged up (alcohol charged up), and understandably so. A little or perhaps in this case a little too much liquid courage can take you a long way if there is much you feel you need to say.

JK told us in his Weverse interview that he puts in thought before doing a live. And even though in this case he said he just turned it on without any thought, perhaps the timing was without any thought, because he did have notes prepared with what he wanted to say on the live (he literally looks through them before he pops off to the toilet mid live). He definitely had things to say, to share, to get off his chest. Being rather intoxicated the way he was I feel like he struggled a bit to articulate at times the message he wanted to convey to us. But at the end of the day/live, I think that the message was rather clear, and I will get to it further on in this post and part 2 of the post.

What I do want to say now is that this young man is phenomenal. He is a phenomenal artist, a worldwide celebrity, and yet he is so real, so genuine, authentic with his fans. He allows us, total strangers in, in ways I have never seen another celebrity allow. He genuinely feels love for his fans and he genuinely wants to be able to have these open sincere conversations with them. How someone can feel malice or hate towards this young man, someone who everyone that gets to actually meet him has nothing but kind and positive words to say about him, I just do not know and will never understand.

So, his promotions are over.

How many days was it since the song dropped?

8 days you say?

And that's why he went live.

Was that the alcohol hitting?

2 minutes in and we have the dainty Koo hand.

JK talked about how he had a lot of fun doing the BBC 1 performance. And having army there with him gave him energy. It's something he realised. The difference between having Army in front of him or not, just how big that difference is to him. He also shared that health wise he actually felt worse. Coughing, difficulty breathing (we saw some of it in the behind short of the BBC 1 performance), which, when you think about it, makes his performance even more amazing.

JK repeats this quite a bit in the live.  His love for army, how army give him energy, how army push him to be a better person, a better artist.  How grateful he is for army. You can also see just how much he misses performing in front of his fans, misses doing their concert.  He says it outright, that he’s made to do concerts.  Left me wondering if that was him inadvertently spoiling something.  With him you never know, lol.

JK also mentioned how he enjoyed performing in the live shows, even though he was off key in the live performance (guess he’s talking about BBC Radio 1).

Listen, the man has been performing live for several days now with a seriously bad cold.  A cold that effects your hearing, your throat, your breathing, your voice.  And with all that he’s done phenomenally (my word of the day).

Ok, so if I had to tell you in a nutshell what JK talks about in the live (difficult task but I’ll try), I’d have to say that around 90% of this live was JK loving army.

As simple as that.

Drunk sincere JK gushing over army, telling us how much he loves us, how we cheer him on, how hearing army made everything better for his performance, even made his sore throat and coughing go away just before the performance.  How army supported him, how he cares for army and loves army.  Wait, I feel like I’m starting to repeat myself.  Thing is, that’s exactly what JK was doing.  90% of it was that.

Then JK talks about his promotions and how army cheering him on throughout that period made him happy.  Well, the good side of sm that is.

The promotion period felt short to him (which it was), and stuff didn't fall into place (GMA's for example), and yet :

This here was JK letting us know he's been monitoring sm.

He knows the good. But he also knows the bad and the ugly. And there is so so much ugly going on right now. Which could also be another reason why he felt the need to come forward and say the things he does later on in the live.

Breaks my heart. Knowing that they know about the crap so called fans come up with on sm. And knowing this JK makes it abundantly clear there is a difference between those 'fans' and army, that he loves beyond imagination.

JK goes on to say, again, how happy he is to meet us. Doing the lives too. Communicating with us. He likes it. Well, we do too.

JK tells us he ate well after the performance given it was his last one and he also drank and is "kind of drunk right now too".

He is so self aware. He knows that being drunk will loosen his tongue. He knows that he might say something he shouldn't say (question asked is according to whom? To Hybe? To the fans? To himself?). And yet he will continue to talk to us.

Again JK telling us he is a person just like us.

He's being open and honest and just showing so much vulnerability.

Can we take a moment and appreciate this?  I know I keep repeating myself, starting to sound like a broken record here, but I think we don’t appreciate him enough. I think that much of what he gives us is taken for granted, and it shouldn’t.  He is honest and open and wears his heart of his sleeve and allows himself to show us vulnerability. How many idols or celebrities do you know that do that?  Let us in.  Not all the way just yet, but he wants to. He really wants to be able to show us his true self.

He also wants us to understand that he’s a person just like us.

The whole “let’s be friends” is also part of it.  He doesn’t look down at us, and how many celebrities do you know that are like that? That look at you, their fan, at eye level.  That don’t feel they are better or more worthy than you. That see themselves as an artist but there to create art for you to enjoy.  That are forever grateful for your support of them.  That will be happy to acknowledge you if you approach them, even on their free time (and I’m not talking about fucking sasaengs that stalk them, but army that recognize them and dare to talk to them, yeah like the girl at the stop shop in CT).

All he wants is to be able to be honest and act naturally with army.  Because, for him “army is the best”.

And he continues, because so what? army is sincere, what is there to hide, being sincere with Army, that's what he wants.

Doesn't need anything else. army is the best. He's comfortable, he's having fun. From now on it's going to be like this.

"We might curse at each other later on..." - so also telling us things we might not like to hear? Like you do with a friend?

He is constantly making a point of a. how important army is to him and b. that he wants to be friends with army, be able to talk to us casually, like a friend, and vise versa, act naturally. Bottom line: did I mention friend zoning yet?

Act natural.

Now that is a loaded term. Because to act naturally means be yourself, no walls, nothing holding you back (well in the context of this is who you are as a human being and not putting on a façade or as JK usually puts it, not wearing a mask). Acting naturally is acting like you want to, like your nature, and not like others want or expect you to. That's how JK wants to be with us. But being like this means lifting that mask. And he's in the process of doing that. He has a little, but even as he puts it later on in the live, there are still hidden parts of him, parts we don't know, and I do think that he is over that. He wants to show us him. No unnecessary masks. Whoever will accept him and love him will. Those that don't, well, you can't be loved by everyone. And this is grown up, mature and very intelligent JK, who understands that, and has decided that he is not going to live his life trying to appease those that will never approve of him, the real him. Those who care about him, he will do everything for. Those that don't, those that hate, as far as he is concerned they can continue to live their lives, he has mentally cut ties with them.

JK talks about how army is better than anything. That he kind of feels bad for his parents because of army's significance to JK. I don't think it's about loving army more than his parents. It's about the importance that army has for JK, army that followed and protected him for 10 years since his debut (a time that his parents weren't really able to be there for him, not as much as army was, is what I think that JK is saying).

And for those people he wants to be honest. He feels that for the people that protected him over the past 10 years, the ones that love him, he owes honesty.

But what is that honesty he keeps talking about? Why does JK feel the need to repeat this time after time during his live? I'd say because he feels that at the moment, until this point in time, he hasn't been fully honest with us. And perhaps he's also a little weary of how army will accept that honesty, how army might react to JK without that mask. I do think that there is so much more coming from JK.

This for him is only an opening shot!

We need a comedic pause for a second here, cause things, they got heavy there for a second. Phew. Thank you JK. Drunk neuro-divergent JK being distracted by the creepy statue, lol.

I actually feel like he himself needed that pause (he takes a few like that throughout the live), and what better than taking the time to pick it's nose, clean dust and have a conversation with a statue?

Now how can you not love that person, eh? I really don't get people that hate him. It's the same level as those that hate JM. Those two human beings are the most precious lovable (add fucking gorgeous too) people EVER. They WERE clearly MEANT for each other. So how can people hate either of them? Both of them? Who they are as individuals or as a couple? How????????

But obviously there are many who do. Sad. It's sad they exist and I also feel sorry for them too. Because being filled up with so much hate that you feel the need to turn it on someone who is a stranger to you, someone so loveable as those two young men means you are a very sad and unhappy person yourself.

Ok, this wasn't supposed to get too deep. Not this part. This was supposed to be the fun part of this post.

🤷‍♀️

JK goes on to give us a little more detail about his dinner - with staff celebrating the end of his short promotions. He ate and drank, which was hard work, lol. He says he's a pretty simple person, enjoys the simple things, but regrets he also forgets them pretty fast, and wants to make an effort to make the memories and feelings last longer.

JK, like RM, Suga and JM before him talks about the day they comeback together.  It’s not about if, it’s about when this happens how wonderful it will feel.  You can see he is genuinely excited for it. "it's going to be amazing". His words.

And once again he talks about his gratitude and how thankful he is to army for today (his performance), and for the experiences he had, and will need to put much more effort.

When I said that 90% of this live is JK talking about army, his love for us and what he needs and wants to do for army I wasn’t kidding.  This is the thread right through the whole live.  Army love him. Army cheer for him.  He has to do more for army. Be worthy of our love for him.

As much as we give him love, he needs to fill something for all of us, and he is trying to.

But he also wants to be comfortable with army (again, something he repeats multiple times through the live).  And this, my friends, is where JK friend zones us.  Like completely.  Like with no shame, lol.

This is also when JK lets us know he knows he's being criticized online. He drinks, that's him. People might not like it, it's their prerogative - "do whatever you want". And this is also not the last time JK mentions being criticized for drinking or being disliked/hated.

JK being super chill, and yet tells it as it is:

In other words, when JK talks about the army he loves, the army he is grateful for, the army he feels indebted to, well, that most definitley doesn't include those that are hating on him, or those that will not accept him for who HE is, real JK, the one that wants to feel comfortable when interacting with army, the one that wants to be himself and not a puppet or persona that is being forced on him. He is past that. And he is being loud and clear about it too.

"We might be strangers but I want to feel comfortable with you".

Act natural, be comfortable, those words on repeat. JK driving it in again and again.

He wants to get closer, and closer, again, means bringing down those boundaries around him.

Please tell me who asked him to grow a beard in the comments, I'm coming for them... Thankfully he just doesn't have that facial hair growth, phew. Can he pass that on to my husband please? I mean, shaving in the morning and by late afternoon try to get near him you'll be stabbed in the face.

I digress, my husband's facial hair is most definitely not something you would be interested in.

JK's on the other hand...

Well, according to him he literally has none, so there you have it.

Love how every time he's either checking out his skin or his facial hair we are getting a JM in our face. Fun!! He does say he wanted us to have fun!!

And here comes the comment about the 'dirty' version of Seven.

Love love love love the way JK dealt with this one.

Yes, he might have been a little all over the place, but first of all his reaction to calling it dirty. Second, even almost as drunk as a skunk he kept his composure and tried to explain his pov.

This is one of the times he reminds us of his age, of how many years it's been since his debut. And this is something I felt he was trying to achieve by releasing the explicit version of the song - the understanding that he is no longer a child. That the fandom needs to accept he is a grown up, stop infantilizing him. That he can say fucking and the world will not stop turning on it's axis. That he can sing about sex, that he, god forbid, might be actually having sex too (like the reaction of some of this fandom to this song, as if this is a revelation, something unbeknown to us all, that JK, a 25 yo man, is sexually active).

And when he says he's almost 28 yo (Korean age) and goes on to say "but I know why army loves me", is his acknowledgement of said infantilizing. The fact that army see him as the youngest, the maknae, and not a full on grownup. And those are things he was thinking about while deciding which version to release.

He wants acknowledgement as a grown up and as an artist and he felt that he needed to release the two versions to achieve that.

He wanted to change that image of him, and for that he needed to change himself.

He wants us to accept him, the changed him, but he's not going to force us to.

So here's the thing. This isn't even half way through the live. And there is still so much more to come.

There are a few words that keep coming up on repeat in the live that I can think of off the top of my head.

Army, of course, grateful, fun, happy, natural, comfortable. All seem to be said with ease, even lightly, but all with extremely deep meaning behind them.

I'll leave you with that food for thought. Why is he repeating these words? What is he trying to tell us? What next?

Part 2 to follow shortly.

[currantlee]

A few comments on a recent post about RWBY I made got me thinking about something. Basically, I think that Rooster Teeth – and possibly by extension its parent companies – have artificially inflated RWBY as a media project and franchise rather than letting it grow organically. Therefore, it became a bubble that was bound to burst at some point. RWBY might never have been a profitable IP, which might be very relevant for its future.

This is not a problem that arose after Monty Oum‘s passing, I feel like this was already coming before that. Shane Newville‘s open letter (which absolutely comes from an emotional, mentally unwell state of mind, but has had many of its contents confirmed over the years, even beyond being one of the first descriptions of the toxic work environment at Rooster Teeth) makes a few points that support this impression. Whether you agree with the letter or not, you cannot deny that the first two volumes of RWBY, while they also had merch accompanying them and stuff, were not produced following industry standards – starting with the 3D software used, Poser Pro (Monty Oum‘s preferred tool for animation). This led to some really creative animation work that, while not always high-quality by industry-standards, was certainly pushing boundaries. It was creative and it worked for what RWBY was: a passion project created by someone who saw animation as his strongest suit – as his preferred medium to tell a story. I‘ve seen a lot of people claim that Monty Oum wasn‘t a writer, and while that‘s true, I feel like the implication of that statement is always that he couldn‘t tell stories on his own. I don‘t think that‘s true. I think Monty Oum was a great storyteller when it came to expressing certain things through animated action scenes. It‘s just that he wanted to tell a story that included more than just that and a few lines of dialogue – which is where Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross come in, two at the time very inexperienced writers (who possibly had a fallout with Monty Oum over creative differences later), as well as some talented folks – people like Shane Newville. They were chosen to work on this because Monty Oum acknowledged their potential and liked to work with them, and I feel like that created an environment where they were really allowed to flourish. Volumes 1 and 2 are certainly not flawless, but I feel like I can tell the people making it had fun.

To Rooster Teeth however? I think RWBY (and by extension, Monty Oum as a creator) might have been little more than assets to them. RWBY was first created around a time when RT first tried to be more like, well, an actual company. At least from 2014 onward, but possibly even earlier than that, this included an effort to conform to industry standards more, mostly in order to be able to hire more people – very visibly so in RWBY in the form of the switch to Maya (my opinion about that is, the way they did it didn’t do RWBY any favors at all). I think they saw RWBY and Monty Oum as an opportunity to appear… More important, bigger, than they ever really were.

So what did they do? Again, I kind of have the feeling that they “upscaled” RWBY to a size where it appears like this big thing, but it became far too much to handle. Essentially, they created a mock giant, or a metaphorical quasi-star: something that can appear big from afar, but is actually very small / unstable (and if we go with the quasi-star metaphor, disturbs all of its surroundings). This is what I mean when I say that RWBY was a bubble bound to burst, because no star lives forever – and quasi-stars can only exist under very specific, very unstable conditions (I linked a Kurzgesagt-video in case you’re interested what exactly a quasi-star / black hole star is / was, cosmology is so fascinating IMO). Once these conditions exist no longer, they both fall apart and collapse into the black hole that is their core at the same time.

My main argument for this is that RWBY was essentially a huge money sink for RT (Source: Barbara Dunkelman’s unprofessionalism). They pumped so much money into this… Perhaps even more than they ever made from it. While this isn’t 100% confirmed, it is very much possible (and IMO not exactly unlikely) that RWBY was never profitable — which it might have been if RT hadn’t been so hellbent on creating the illusion of a multi-million-dollar franchise.

This is purely speculative, but this might also be why Volume 10 was never greenlit. We know that Volume 9 was to a significant part funded by Crunchyroll and in fact would not have been possible without them (probably because RT was already out of money at this point). They might have bought into this mock giant, then realized they had pretty much been scammed once Volume 9 aired. This might have led to Crunchyroll’s unwillingness to fund another season for something they knew now was effectively a money sink. Since RT at this point lacked the funds to produce Volume 10 alone and therefore was dependent on investors like Crunchyroll and Warner Brothers… Volume 10 was never greenlit, no matter how hard they attempted to get their fans’ hopes up and start a hashtag campaign on social media (as far as I remember, that was started by Rooster Teeth, not the fans. I don’t have my Twitter account anymore though, so I can’t check). Again though, this is speculation.

The worst part? This refusal of RT to just… Downscale RWBY again, this determination that it had to be this huge franchise… Was all put on the backs of the creatives working on it. We know at this point, from multiple sources, that RWBY and other RT productions have had an incredible amount of crunchtime, working overtime, employee abuse, … going on behind the scenes, which seems to only have gotten worse after Monty Oum’s passing. At the end of the day, all RT does and has ever done is blame others for their incompetence. Like, no shit, I’ve seen fans claim that it’s the FNDM’s job to “keep the show alive” (particularly in the light of #GreenlightVolume10), which… No, that’s not the fans’ job. It’s the job of the company who has been entrusted with this beloved IP, and said company has proven to be utterly incompetent on multiple occasions, which is unfortunate, but a sad reality for all those who love RWBY. And while Rooster Teeth has never directly said such a thing, they have certainly implied it and taken advantage of the existing sentiment within their fanbase, as well as their parasocial relationship with it (again, see #GreenlightVolume10 for reference).

To clarify, I’m not saying none of this would have happened if RT didn’t insist on making RWBY this big franchise (and biting off far more than they could chew in the process) – again, RT was far too notoriously incompetent at everything a company should manage – but I do think it might have played a role. It also isn’t an excuse for all the employee abuse. Again, what they should have done is downsizing the project, not inflating it further and further.

If I’m not somehow completely in the wrong (because IMO this just makes way too much sense to not be at least partially true – but let’s face it, a lot of this is just me connecting dots, and there is always a chance I’m connecting them wrong, even though I don‘t think so), then it kinda blows my mind that there are still people who believe in this scam. Though I will say, emotional attachment can do that to anyone. If anything, I’m honestly sorry that those folks lose something that means so much to them, and that false promises were made to them.

At the end of the day, the story of RWBY (the “franchise”) is twofold. It’s a story about an incredibly talented creator who passed away far too early, who was given the incredible opportunity to make his dream come true. It’s a story of people he trusted taking up his torch, and maybe getting lost in the dark along the way. It’s an inspiring story regardless, and I hope to see it continued at a downsized scale so it can grow organically, preferably in the hands of an indie animation studio like Dillon Goo (🤞)

But it is also a cautionary tale to both creatives and companies who employ them, a tale about false promises, abuse of both employees and fans, as well as how to not run a project. Don’t blow your thing out of proportion too early, don’t create a mock giant / metaphorical quasi-star. Let your ideas and projects grow and flourish organically and sincerely.

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU, Written Elements, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Chapter 2 (a): Bedwars

Word Count: 2171

“Hey guys,” you smile at your webcam, “How’s everyone’s night been so far?” You adjust to get just a bit more comfortable, wrapping your favorite blanket around your legs as you observe their responses in chat. 

“Oh my god you had sushi for dinner? That sounds so good.” You lean forward to get a closer look, “Awe thank you. I tried so hard to do my makeup today,” you inform everyone when you see a compliment fly past. “It took me like four business days to finish my eyeliner,” you roll your eyes at the memory. 

You start humming softly as you read through chat, prompting everyone to start spamming for music and making you smile. “Okay okay, I get it guys I’ll put some music on.” 

You pull open Spotify, selecting one of your favorite non-copyrighted playlists, “Is that loud enough? Oh- too loud?” You turn it down by about twenty percent, “Is that better?”

You grin, letting yourself relax against the back of your chair. “I don’t really have a plan for the stream; I just wanted to kind of chat for a little bit, explain why I was in the hospital and stuff.” 

YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL????

You laugh when you see the message, realizing too late that you’d probably just dropped a bomb on everyone who doesn’t follow you on any of your other social media. “Oh yeah, sorry guys.” You suddenly snort, “Did someone just say I was in hospice for being dumb?” 

You shake your head subconsciously, “Even funnier though is that they’re kind of right.” 

You reach forward to grab the bottle of water resting on your desk, “Don’t worry it’s not anything serious. Like at all.” You pause to take a brief sip of the iced liquid, cringing at how cold it is when it enters your mouth. “Holy shit,” you shudder, “That was so fucking cold.” 

You take a deep breath to regain your composure.

“Anyways, so basically I fell and hit my head yesterday and my friends just wanted to take me to the hospital to make sure I didn’t get a concussion or anything. And then it turned out that I was actually - like - super dehydrated so they wanted to give me an IV drip to get some fluids in me.” You lift your water bottle pointedly, “Hence the new addition to the stream.” 

Normally you’d rarely ever have water during a stream, and if you did it was kept in a much smaller bottle. It’s different now though (your roommate made sure of that) since your current water bottle is big enough to cover your entire face if you were to hold it up. 

“But now I am a-okay and in perfect condition. Well, mostly anyways.” 

You spend some time just singing along to the music and responding to some of the messages you see in chat. You feel yourself relaxing as you talk with everyone, your tense shoulders loosening and your voice growing just a bit louder as you get more comfortable. 

You’re always nervous to stream at first, despite having done it hundreds of times by now. You don’t think you’ll ever not be nervous to be completely honest. It was such a surreal experience, to be able to be so closely connected with so many different people from so many different places, that you were terrified of ever losing it. 

“Oh my god you guys. So I made some pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips in them the other day and they are literally like the best thing I’ve probably ever baked in my life.” 

Better than your blended cookies?

You roll your eyes, “Oh ha ha; you guys act like you’ve tried it. I promise you all that it’s literally ten times better than it sounds. I’ll have to post the recipe at some point because I genuinely think a lot of you would love them.” 

I can attest to that ✋

“Sho,” you excitedly exclaim as you see your friend’s username. “You guys know Shoyo right?” You feel your head tilt, watching the varying responses flood your chat box. “Well if you don’t know who he is, he’s literally - like - famous for playing volleyball.” 

I love Hinata! I met him once and he was so nice.

You nod rapidly in agreement, “Yes! He’s seriously gotta be the nicest person I’ve ever met.” 

“Do you want to get on call with me?” You direct the question towards your close friend, subconsciously biting your lip as you await his answer. 

Still at practice unfortunately 🙁

You pout, “Oh no.” With a small sigh, “I just don’t know what to do now. You got any suggestions, chat?”

You read as many messages as you can, eyebrows furrowing further the longer you sit there. 

“I’m seeing a lot of minecraft; do we wanna play a bit of minecraft?” You hum in thought, swaying in your chair as you consider the idea. “How about Bedwars?”

Chat practically erupts at your words, capitalized letters and emotes flying by so fast that you don’t get any chance to read a single one. “Okay okay,” you laugh, “I get it.” 

You set your water bottle back down, adjusting your keyboard to sit properly before grabbing your mouse. “Let’s play some Bedwars I guess.” 

~~~

“Fuck you!” 

You groan as you release your mouse, throwing your head back in annoyance as you die yet once again. 

“How the fuck do I keep on dying? Literally what the fuck!” You chance a glance at your chat, hiding a smile at their reaction to your raging. You’ll admit it, while you are actually frustrated with the game, you’re definitely playing it up just a little bit for your audience. 

You don’t wait for the round to end after you die, leaving the game and immediately running to join another one. You’ve been playing in teams of three, hoping that having the extra assistance would help you stay alive longer. 

So far it’s proved to be completely futile. 

“We’re definitely gonna win this one you guys,” you say just as the round begins. “Me-,” you pause to look at your teammate’s usernames, “PinkyFluff_22 and Kodzuken are going to absolutely demolish everyone else.” 

What did she just sayyyyyyy 😳

I’m sorry you and WHO????

No way she’s playing with who I think she’s playing with

One in a million chance lol

Wtf

“What is everyone freaking out about?” You question as you patiently wait to collect some iron and gold, watching one of your teammates begin to cover the bed with a measly defense of red wool. “Kodzuken?”

You buy some wood and Endstone from the villager before purchasing a slightly better sword than the wooden one you were given. “Oh they stream?”

Girl 💀

How do you not know who he is?????

“Bro I don’t know,” you shrug, “I just work here okay.” 

You sprint over to the bed, breaking the wool to replace it with the Endstone, layering the wood on top, and then finally placing the wool around it again. “I guess I’ll be bed defense then,” you say as you notice that you’re the only person left on the island. 

“Oh shit someone’s coming!” You duck behind the giant cube of wool, watching the name tag get progressively closer to your island. You jump out as soon as you feel like they’re close enough, attacking the unaware oncomer and knocking them off the island within a few easy hits. 

“Fuck yeah!” You jump around excitedly, proud of the way your plan was actually successful this time. “See that? I told you I’m not bad!” 

You abruptly flinch as your character turns and comes face to face with another player. “Holy shit!” You release a sigh of relief as you realize it’s only your teammate, Kodzuken. “That scared me so bad. Oh my god,” you release your mouse briefly to place your hand on your chest. 

While you’re distracted trying to calm your heartbeat, Kodzuken suddenly stops before you. “What is he doing?” But before you even have time to be suspicious he suddenly drops a pile of diamonds and emeralds on the ground. 

You blink.

“Huh?” He looks pointedly at the gems then back up at you and back down, lightly tapping the block they’re floating on. “Is he giving them to me?” 

You glance over at your chat, your character finally going into motion when you realize they’re all screaming at you to go pick them up. “Jesus, sorry. I got them, see? Look, I’m picking them up right now.” 

You collect everything on the ground, crouching and un-crouching multiple times as a way to thank him. “Oh- shit,” you pause as a popup suddenly appears, “Stupid sticky keys!” 

By the time you manage to exit out of the window, Kodzuken is nowhere to be found. “Well,” you look at your webcam, “That was unexpected.” 

You quickly open game chat to send him a private message as fast as you possibly can. 

“Thanks :)”

It’s the best you can do with the little time you have but you hope he appreciates it nonetheless. 

“Okay, I’m gonna up our bed defense.” You repeat the earlier process all over again, only this time you add obsidian and make the outer layer made of wood. “Now that’s like literally impenetrable.” 

You upgrade your sword to a bow and arrows before purchasing some TNT and fireballs and buying the Miner’s Fatigue trap. “Now the real question is whether I try to attack the bases next to us or not.” 

Attackkkkkk

You’re gonna die

Kill them

We believe in you

“I guess it’s decided then,” you quickly shake out your hands. “Okay,” your voice fades as you run across the bridge you could only assume one of your teammate’s made. 

You’re extremely quiet as you make your way across, keeping your eyes on the island next to you and turning back every now and then to check on your own. You’re biting your lip as you slowly make your way across the rival team’s bridge, crouching the entire time to hide your name. 

You’re roughly twenty blocks away when you take the next step. Still crouching, you aim a fireball at their seemingly wool covered bed. “Yes!” You cheer as it makes its mark, blowing up the wool and revealing wood below it. 

You know that you’ve alerted the players at this point (there’s no way you haven’t) so all you can do is run into the fire. 

You’re panicking as you place some TNT around the bed, running away and into a player from the enemy team as it explodes. You use your mediocre sword to hit them away from you, mentally sighing as they get hit back enough for you to run away. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” you sprint towards the now revealed blue bed. 

“Blue Bed was destroyed by Soft_Paws!”

You squeal out of both fear and excitement, adrenaline racing through you as you’re attacked by two of the blue players at once. You throw a fireball at them, shouting for joy when one of them is successfully knocked off the island. 

“Holy shit!”

The next player is harder to kill, your health rapidly deteriorating as you battle with nothing but a stone sword and your adrenaline. 

You have one heart left when it finally happens.

“Ecstasy.png was killed by Soft_Paws”

“Yes!” You kick your feet out, jumping up from your chair with your excitement before remembering that you’re still in a game. “Holy fuck I did it. I actually did it, you guys!” 

She’s CRACKED

LETS GOOOO

WOOOOO

YEEEEESSSSSS

~~~

Roughly five minutes later, you’re still in the round. Everyone’s bed has been broken at this point but there are still three teams that are yet to be eliminated, yours included. 

You’re sort of just hiding at the base, watching the chaos from afar as your one and only teammate left (Kodzuken) goes on a murder spree. 

He’s running back to the team’s island when the incident occurs.

All you see is yellow leather armor and a yellow name tag, sprinting on the bridge connecting your base to the emerald island. You don’t even consider the fact that they’re currently being chased down by your teammate, you just aim. 

Your aim is exceptionally good, so good in fact that the explosion knocks off both the yellow player and Kodzuken. 

You freeze at the realization, your mouth falling open in complete horror as you piece together what you’d just done.

“I did not just do that,” you whisper, mostly to yourself as the events replay in your mind. “Oh my god,” you facepalm - forgetting (once again) that you’re still actually alive and participating in the game - and completely missing the person running towards you on the other bridge. 

You hear the sound of something being attacked, echoing through your headphones and making your eyebrows furrow with confusion. 

You abruptly gasp, but by then it’s too late. 

You’re dead. And your team has lost.

Taglist: @crazy-people-are-here, @existential-traveller, @peachesncats, @royalz658

Any names in bold are unable to be tagged.