#i think you really get to know a character's voice when they talk a LOT
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I knowww I think about stuff like this so much. It kind of plays into his whole character vs self conflict where he's constantly self-deprecating and assuming the worst in himself. In fact, everyone else is always calling him dumb too, probably just because he's more quiet compared to them. When you don't talk, others tend to assume you don't have thoughts either... But then we read his journal and it's incredibly insightful about everything happening to him, thereby highlighting the tragedy of how much his circumstances hurt him.
And then that makes me wonder if that conflict of self-doubt and self-hatred maybe doesn't entirely come from himself. Because clearly, he's NOT dumb. He has to know how well-spoken he is, he sees how others talk and chooses not to mimic them. And when he's writing, he knows no one else is gonna see it, so he doesn't speak in his journal as if he's just writing nonsense. He knows he's not.
So that brings up the heartbreaking possibility that his fellow gang members impact his psyche enough to where he socializes under the impression that everyone thinks he's a prize idiot (if you will). And all that negative self-talk really gets in your head... It can't be helped by other people poking fun at his intelligence. I'm sure they're just jokes, and I'm sure he knew that too, but still, it's definitely enough to worm its way into your self-image, even for someone as in touch with himself as him.
He truly is very insightful and very well-spoken, and has a lot of intelligence, both emotional and otherwise. But due to some combination of his own internal struggles and the outside influences that may or may not have catalyzed those, he treats himself like he's stupid and expects others to do the same. And it makes me so sad to think how much happier he could have been if he didn't constantly have voices both around him and in his head telling him he wasn't good or clever or aware. If only Arthur could have appreciated how great he was! :(
I constantly think about Arthur's quote, "I can barely speak English." because the same man is saying things like, "I must moderate my approach to wine." "Despite my best efforts to the contrary..." or "I have to insist." At times he can be poetic (threatening or not) in the way he says things too. For example, "Maybe when your mother's finished mourning your father, I'll keep her in black on your behalf." Or one of my favorites, "Lack of something to feel important about is almost the greatest tragedy a man can have."
Or how about when he finds that crashed airship along Little Creek River? He mentions Icarus, a Greek myth about a man who flew too close to the sun and the wax melted, causing Icarus to plunge into the sea and drown. At that time not everyone is learning and reading classical literature, you literally have to go out of your way and read that shit in a book. Sure Dutch and Hosea taught him to read, but what outlaw is teaching a teenager about Greek Mythology?
Arthur is smarter than he gives himself credit for. He's by no means stupid. He's self-aware and far more emotionally intelligent than he comes off as.
And it makes it a bit more tragic when you think of the potential Arthur might’ve had outside of being an outlaw.
#great post op i love thinking about this#and you gave me an excuse to yap a bit so ty#i personally have a slightly different opinion about the icarus point but that is a post for another day#poor Arthur#rdr2#arthur morgan
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Guys! Clark has started to invade too!!! Anyway, today I was thinking about Smallville Clark Kent (personal go to when thinking about the character) with a new neighbor from the city...
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Clark Kent: Who sees you by the fence, petting his family's horses, and doesn't recognize you, which is odd because he recognizes everyone in such a small town.
Clark Kent: Who quickly realizes from the way you dress to the lack of an accent that you're not just new in town, but from some larger city that probably has apartment buildings with more tenants than the entire town has people.
Clark Kent: Who brushes off your apology for petting the horses, which you'd only done because you've never seen any in real life and couldn't resist how sweet they looked.
Clark Kent: Who watches you insist on going home to unpack instead of keep talking, but runs into you at school the next day and offers to show you around.
Clark Kent: Who you offer a ride home in your car as a thank you for being an extremely patient tour guide.
Clark Kent: Who accepts, under the condition that you let him show you the town too and when you tell him you pretty much have with how small it is, shakes his head and tells you there's a lot of places people don't know about aside from him or a few other kids.
Clark Kent: Who not only shows you his favorite places the next time you're both free, but also says he would be glad to teach you to ride, if you ever wanted.
Clark Kent: Who is thrilled when you take him up on it and spends several hours on a trail with you at a calm pace, keeping close in case anything suddenly spooked your horse. Although they were incredibly good horses so there weren't any problems.
Clark Kent: Who was fascinated by watching you slowly get more accustomed to the town—wearing clothes that were from a local boutique instead of a designer brand, engaging in the rather silly but beloved town traditions, even cutting off some of the friends from the city who you realized weren't really your friends at all after they once visited and immediately started making fun of Clark and his friends.
Clark Kent: Who was surprised at first, when you showed up at his family's door one day asking to help with the animals, but quickly got used to you coming over to help him feed or bathe them, which you claimed was your way of thanking him for the riding lessons but he suspected you just wanted an excuse to be with the animals.
Clark Kent: Who knew you'd fit in with his friends after they got over their own prejudice of you being rude or pretentious because you're from the city and likes hanging out with you with them but likes it just as much, maybe more, when everyone leaves and you're able to stay a bit longer in the barn.
Clark Kent: Who leans out the window next to you, enjoying the breeze as the sun sets and tells you he's glad you moved to Smallville.
Clark Kent: Who sees you shudder from the cold and instantly wraps his jacket around you, conveniently ignoring your blushing cheeks in case he was misreading the situation.
Clark Kent: Who still carefully tucks a piece of hair out of your face—while the voice in head screams not to ruin things—just to see it better and wets his lip while staring at yours.
Clark Kent: Who leans in slowly, waiting for the moment you'd slap him and walk out for daring to try something with you, but only sees you leaning in too.
Clark Kent: Who kisses you for the first time while you're in the barn, wearing his jacket, but promises himself then and there that it wouldn't be the last.
#x reader#headcanon#clark kent x you#clark kent x reader#clark kent imagine#clark kent#smallville#smallville clark kent#x you#plethorawrites
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Hi OTNF and everyone,
I am finding that it's harder and harder and harder to get into anything - book, show, movie... most things seem, you know, to just not be doing it for me, be it fanfic or original stuff.
In part, I think, it's a general restlessness and that it's become harder to give anything enough time to get into the stories, the characters, the settings, the narrative voices... I guess you can call it attention deficit on my part, just a need for stories to deliver those sweet, sweet hits quickly, but they're not.
I'm not currently ficcing but I did for years (might again in the future, who knows), and it's made reading, specifically, harder. It's like I've become more aware of what goes on behind the scene, I guess? I feel like I can see the writer giving up on a sentence, skipping a scene because fuck this, trying hard to not repeat a word although it's the only one that fits, etc.
Or maybe it's just the *everything* around us in the world that is weighing on me too much? I could say it's adult life, but then again I have more free time than most (and boy do I need hours of doing nothing to survive the other hours), and no family/partner (all that would put even more pressure on me): what is wrong, to make everything so UGHHH?
I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with a brain moaning feed me, feeeed me, and whatever I try to give it, it spits everything out. (Yes, I've tried hobbies, and nothing sticks there either. I've never really found rewards or satisfaction there, so...)
Decades ago as a kid, I was a voracious reader, although studying literature took the pleasure of it away from me. It took time and discovering fanfic that brought me back to reading, but at the time the internet was starting to be a thing, too, and it can't have helped the attention thing. AFAIK I'm not ADHD but then again, I couldn't get a proper diagnosis (the therapists I saw were either dismissive or just about The Talking, which was pointless for me).
I just wonder how it all disappeared, you know? Sometimes I find something that catches my attention for a while - a book (but I read quite quickly when motivated), a fandom... but it's been a while now, and it's just so frustrating! When is it going to come back? Will it ever? *gulp*
I know that books were escapism when I was a child, and then fandom was escapism, but at the moment I find myself grabbing at air and my empty hands are mocking me. Give me my escapism baaaaack!
So, uh. Anyone here with me?
--
Yes.
I felt like that during part of lockdown. Anhedonia is common in those kinds of circumstances.
Getting your mojo back is certainly possible, but you may need to go see a professional about depression and have some chemical assistance (yes, even if you don't feel sad per se), or you may need to change your lifestyle to one that doesn't have the thing causing you to need eleventy billion hours of downtime.
Aside from serious interventions like that, you can consider a social media detox. Remove every source of doomscrolling and time wasting of that type. When the attention span is zero and nothing brings joy, the tiny and useless hits from finishing a game of solitaire or seeing one more instagram post become very attractive. This is a trap. It will suck what little energy and joy you have and make your muscles flabby for the work of getting into an in-depth book/hobby/experience.
I know the feeling of being able to see how the sausage is made, but... well... first, being in a better mental state will make that matter less, and second, reading prose that is more competent will make that less of an issue. A lot of mainstream tradpub genre fiction is not, in my opinion, very well written these days. Obviously, people are still enjoying it, and that's fine, but if you're noticing writers fumbling around, it might be time to check out some literary fiction or some other category known more for prose quality than anything else.
It's also important to have some structure and some things to look forward to. Even if you feel tired, overwhelmed, and busy, sometimes, the answer is to do more... But it must be things that are distinct and significant and that get you off of the couch, like going to one museum every weekend.
I saw some advice once about this kind of thing that phrased it as "One big adventure; one small adventure."
Every week, you should have those two things to look forward to that matter. Check out a new coffee shop. That could be the small one. Go to an event: a gallery opening, a concert, whatever.
Physical exercise and doing some things that aren't as verbal and conscious thought-involving is important too. Painting is a better hobby for zoning out than writing is. Taking long walks in nature is good for most people.
--
The kind of intense, obsessive love I had for reading as a child and that I sometimes have for fandom requires a lot of attention and some time. It's escapist, but that masks how much work it actually was. It didn't feel like work only because we were in training.
If you've filled your brain and your day up with a thousand petty annoyances or minor and useless attempts to feel something, you won't have the capacity for those deeper things.
Because you are already at a point that's equivalent to a bad sprained ankle, trying to get back to running right now won't work. You have to stay off of the ankle for a bit, then build your strength and stamina back up.
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the recent development with 'everything is alright' has me wondering about king starscream and how... lonely he seems. granted rattrap is there but hes... not much company in stars mind, i think. like dont get me wrong i knew he'd be lonely and a little on the right side of miserable, but that in tandem with the bit about 'dont you know you're home/his future/the one good thing in his life' bit from the last chapter has me!! chokign up a bit cuz damn he really wasnt kidding!!! he got what he wanted but at the cost of still being miserable bc its fuckin LONELY at the top when youre paranoid as all hell with VERY REAL justifications to back said paranoia up!!! god!!!
Yeah, King Star isn’t all that happy. I do like playing with different versions of the same character and just tweaking the circumstances. In Everything is Alright he’s alienated himself from his Trine due to his paranoia, in True Romance he still trusts his Trine and has that relationship, so he’s a lot less paranoid and lonely, in Overdone his Trine just drifted apart. He could have made more of an effort to connect and reach out, but he was so focused on his goals, he didn’t really notice that gap widening until they’re almost strangers to each other
Overdone Pt 2
IDW RID Starscream x Reader
• “You’re weren’t on earth, were you?” He asks when Rattrap gawks at the human in his grip. Striding past, he heads for his private habsuite. Hears Rattrap weakly call out about the reports and he ignores him. They can wait. But you? A human from nowhere plummeting to your death. Closing the door behind himself, he studies you as you cling to his servos. Timid for a spy. “Well?” He growls, depositing you on his desk. “Where did you come from?” Who sent you to spy on him? Wants to know so he can and deliver your broken body to them.
• Falling on your hip, you stare at the big monster and his wings flare out. Trying to say something, anything, when you’re too terrified to make a sound. You’d been driving and then crippling plain had slammed through you, feeling like being torn in two. And then finding yourself somewhere wholly different falling to your death. It’s a nightmare and you can’t wake up. Lip curling, he slams his huge palms down far too close to you and you scream and cringe into a ball. “Speak! Who are you working for?” He roars.
• Pretending at terror? No, venting softly as that acrid shift in your scent registers, he leans back. Not an act. “I don’t know! I don’t know anything!” You cry, little voice broken and terrified and his wings droop slightly. Maybe you’re telling the truth, but you came from somewhere. Humans don’t spontaneously teleport across space and time. Except you apparently had. Servos tapping on the desk, he glares at you and the problem you pose. If you are a spy? An autobot ally sent to undermine him? Why risk your death? If he hadn’t grabbed you, you would have died. Maybe whoever had dropped you meant to see what he’d do and you’re of no importance to them beyond as an expendable pawn?
• “Stop cowering and sniveling,” he growls and you risk a glance at that scowling face, see his optics narrow at you. “If you show your fear, others will use that against you.” Heart hammering against your ribs, you watch him pace around the huge room. And when he’s not looking at you, you can breathe. Try to get your bearings. You have no idea where you are or how you got here, but it had hurt worse than anything you’ve ever felt. Tracking him as he lifts a hand, murmuring, you realize he’s talking to himself at the same time it sinks past the fear that he’d caught you when you’d been falling. He’d saved you.
• Why had he saved you? Because you’re not a monster not matter how much you pretend you are, that annoying, little ghost whispers and he curls his lip. “You know nothing.” Refuses to look, to let his processor trick him with impossible things. Would think maybe you’re a hallucination, too. Except he’d felt your little heart beating against his servos, the warmth of your body in his hands. He’s not mad enough to imagine details like that, yet. Though for you to appear when he was considering not pulling up? Are you a punishment? Drifting back to the desk, his head tips with predatory interest as he rests a servo against your throat and you lay a soft hand on him. You feel real. “Tell me why I shouldn’t rid myself of you. Make me believe you’re no spy.”
Previous
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𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩 — send in any character from my masterlist + a prompt from one of the lists ( fluff , angst , smut ) for a blurb.
❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜ with babygirl daryl dixon <33
── .✦ 𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 ┆ 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐧
𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 ; you see daryl smile for the first time in a while.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ; daryl dixon x reader , alexandria era, just lots of fluff.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ; 1.5k .ᐟ
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ; this was only supposed to be a lil blurb but i got carried away writing for my scrumdidlyumpcious mans *sighs dreamily*
you were sitting alone on the front porch as the rest of alexandria slept soundlessly around you. the air was warm against your skin with only the slightest breeze. it was the perfect night to sit under the stars and just let yourself breathe for once.
though, the small moment of peace is interrupted when you hear footsteps coming up behind you. they were soft against the wood, yet making it creak beneath them, and you don’t need to turn to know who it was.
daryl slowly sat down beside you, sinking onto the step you were on, and leaning his head against the pillar behind him. he looked tired, more tired than usual. dark circles encapsulated his otherwise icy blue eyes, and there was a slumpiness to his shoulders.
"can't sleep?" you tilt your head to the side slightly, turning so that you too were leaning against a pillar now and facing him onward.
“nah,” he murmured, his drawl thick and heavy with exhaustion. it was clear that something was weighing down on him. perhaps the same thing that had even been disrupting his sleep.
you give it a moment to see if he would tell you what was wrong on his own accord, but this was daryl, and he wasn't one to talk about his feelings or express his troubles without prompting. he rarely spoke much anymore as it was, not compared to how he used to anyway.
watching as his gaze pans off to your surroundings, taking in the other houses along the street and the trees that were rustling in the wind, you can’t help but wonder what’s got him so stuck in his head. there was a clear distance in his eyes that you had only ever seen a few times before, but there was no telling what could be the cause of it.
eventually, you gently nudge his leg with your foot to get his attention, "what’s going on in that big ole head'o yours? and don't tell me it’s 'nothing'."
daryl’s eyes flickered towards you as you nudged his leg, as if being pulled back to reality for a brief moment. he looked away again, the darkness outside seeming to be easier to focus on than actually having to talk. he knew it was only because you cared and he, of course, didn’t want to worry you. you already worried about him enough as it was.
“it’s just…” he begins after a few moments, but stops, shaking his head. it was clear by the tension in his jaw that he was really bothered by whatever it was.
"hey, you can talk to me." you say, offering him solace for his thoughts.
he glances over at you, seeing the genuine concern in your eyes. he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid telling you, not when he knew how stubborn you could be and that you probably wouldn’t leave him alone until he gave you some sort of an explanation. he takes a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts into words before responding.
“it’s just… it’s been a lot,” he finally mutters, his voice low and gruff in the air.
you sit forward now, no longer leaning on the pillar behind you as you rest your hands in your lap, "what has?"
he rubs a hand over his face, frustrated, though not at you. never at you. his shoulders slump a bit more and it makes him look even more exhausted. “everything,” he answers after a short pause, the word simple enough, but you knew well enough that he wasn’t talking about just his tired state. he shakes his head, looking back out towards the small settlement, not really focusing on anything in particular. “jus’ feelin’ a bit… weighed down lately. i guess.”
you nod along softly as he speaks, taking in his words and letting him know that you were listening, "is there anything i can do to help?"
he can’t help but feel a swell of warmth in his chest as you offer your assistance. you always cared so much, cared about him. it made his heart feel full for the first time in a while. but he was stubborn, and even now it was difficult for him to admit that he needed support sometimes. the feeling of being a burden loomed over him constantly as that’s what he was accused of being growing up.
he shook his head slightly, still not looking at you, though a small part of him wanted to. “you do enough,” he mumbled.
“daryl, i’m serious. what can i do to help?” you move forward on the step a little, your knees hitting his now. “do you want me to take up some of your runs? will that help make you feel better?”
his brow furrows as you press the question again, his jaw tensing. he felt stuck between letting you help and being his stubborn self that tried to push everything away. though hearing you offer to take up some of his runs, a part of him considered accepting, which surprised even himself.
he was silent for a moment before speaking again in a hushed, gruff voice, the words almost being strained from his mouth, “i don’t… i don’t wanna ask things of you.”
“don’t be silly. i care about you, and i don’t want to see you run yourself into the ground.” you place a hand on his knee and give it a little squeeze. you hated how stubborn he could be, how he always pushed away the help that he clearly so desperately needed. “you do that and then who else am i going to annoy, huh?”
daryl stiffens a bit at the touch of your hand on his knee. it’s unexpected and he could feel the warmth through his jeans. he knew you wanted to help him and he knew you cared, but he was too used to being self-sufficient. yet, there was something about you, something that made him want to let his guard down and accept you. to allow your kindness to seep through the many walls that he’d built over the years.
so, after a short pause, he lets out an exhausted sigh and the faintest smile graces his lips, “mhm, cause i’m the only one that puts up with ya.”
"okay, wow. rude." you scoff a laughter, and shove his knee with the hand that was still on it. you let out a small sigh after a moment, before meeting daryl’s gaze once more. you don’t say anything, not for a second, you just wanted to take him in. "y'know, i don't think i've ever seen you smile. not like that anyway.”
he was surprised when you shoved his knee, more surprised by the fact that he didn’t expect to enjoy it. he lets out a small huff of a laugh at your reaction. though, the moment is short lived when you mention his smile and it quickly fades, the tension from earlier returning to his jaw.
“yeah, well, i ain’t much of a smilin’ kinda guy,” he says, shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing.
you let your gaze fall to your lap, your fingers idly playing with a loose thread on your pants. “maybe you should be. you have a nice smile,” you shrug, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks immediately.
daryl’s heart suddenly seems to jump inside his chest at your comment, the words catching him off guard. no one had ever said that he had a nice smile before. though, coming from you, it seemed to hit him hard in a way that he had never felt before.
the smallest touch of pink spreads across his cheeks and the tips of his ears as he glances to the side, avoiding your gaze as you look back up at him. “shut up,” he mumbled under his breath, the words without any malice just more embarrassed than anything.
“i’m being serious. i like your smile,’ you admit, causing not only yours, but daryl’s heart to race even more.
the honesty in your statement causes him to look back at you, his heart slamming against his chest. the sight of how sincere you are causes his stomach to twist and yet, he feels as if he could melt into the wooden steps beneath him.
“… shut up,” he says again, though it’s said with less embarrassment and more just overwhelmed feelings, and the faintest hint of a smile returns to his lips.
you just shake your head, and roll your eyes, at his reaction. he was so cute whenever he got flustered, and you enjoyed the fact of knowing you were the one that had caused it. though, you decide not to push him any further and leave it, letting yourselves enjoy the rest of the quiet before you knew you had to eventually head back inside.
#— 𝐯𝐞𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 .ᐟ ᡣ𐭩#— 𝐯𝐞𝐞’𝐬 𝟑𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲 .ᐟ ᡣ𐭩#— 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐧 ᡣ𐭩#myna ᰔ#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x fem!reader#daryl dixon x gn!reader#daryl dixon x plus size reader#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl dixon headcanon#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon fluff#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon fic#daryl dixon one shot#daryl dixon oneshot#daryl dixon blurb#daryl dixon imagines#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon
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Can you write smthn with kenma
Literally anything but fluff pls
𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀 𝐊𝐎𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐄 you’re getting better word count ; (751) content warning ; (video games, soft! kenma, not a lot of cw’s with this one guys, also not a lot of talking, this isn’t as good as i wanted it to be but umm ENJOY!)
The soft glow of the TV screen illuminates the room, casting a gentle light over everything, but your attention is solely on the game in front of you. The controller feels odd in your hands as your thumbs move quickly over the buttons, your eyes flickering between the screen and the person sitting next to you. Kenma is hunched over, his focus unwavering as he plays with that quiet intensity that you’ve come to love. His hair falls slightly from the hair tie, but he doesn’t bother pushing it away. He’s too absorbed in the game to care about something as simple as hair.
You can’t help but admire how effortlessly he plays, his movements smooth and calculated. Each time he presses a button, it’s with purpose, and you feel like you're trying to keep up with his rhythm, struggling to match his precision. It’s not a competition, but you still can’t deny that the small part of you wants to impress him.
"Kenma, wait up!" you call out, your character getting ambushed by enemies, and you're frantically trying to get out of the mess. You look over at him, slightly exasperated, but he doesn’t even look up from the screen, his expression unchanged.
"I’m not waiting. You have to learn how to dodge better," he says, his voice soft, but there's a hint of amusement behind it. You pout, pretending to sulk, but you can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.
"Not all of us are professional gamers like you, you know," you tease, moving your character in a circle to avoid another attack.
Kenma just shrugs nonchalantly, though you can see the glimmer of a smirk forming at the corners of his mouth. "It’s all about practice," he says simply, his tone matter-of-fact as he deftly takes out a boss in the game with a single well-placed move.
You watch him for a moment, impressed by how effortlessly he handles everything. His fingers glide over the buttons, never missing a beat. It’s like second nature to him, and for a brief second, you wonder if he’s even human. But then, when your character dies yet again, he pauses the game, finally turning to you with a small sigh.
"Here," he mutters, offering his controller to you. "You need to take a break."
You blink at him in surprise. "But I’m—"
"I know," Kenma interrupts, shaking his head. "You’re getting too frustrated. Just… watch for a bit."
You take the controller reluctantly, but instead of immediately handing it back, you rest it in your lap, watching him as he continues playing. His brow is slightly furrowed, and his mouth is set in that familiar, concentrated line. But every so often, you catch him glancing at you, almost as if he’s making sure you’re okay.
"You're really good at this," you say quietly, almost as an afterthought, but Kenma hears you.
He doesn’t respond immediately, and you think maybe he didn’t hear you properly, but then he glances at you again, his eyes softening.
"You’re not bad either," he says, his voice low but sincere, and it makes your heart skip a beat. He says it so casually, but you know Kenma doesn’t give out compliments unless he truly means them. It’s rare, and when it happens, it feels like a quiet victory.
You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting like that— him playing, you watching— until he suddenly pauses the game, the characters frozen on the screen.
"Alright, your turn," Kenma says, handing you the controller again. You blink at it, slightly startled. "You’ve been watching long enough. Time to try again."
You grin at him, taking the controller with newfound resolve. "Alright, Kenma. Don’t get mad when I show you how it’s done."
He raises an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a small smile. "You can try."
You start playing again, this time with a little more confidence, moving your character more smoothly, avoiding attacks with better timing. It’s not perfect, but it’s better. And Kenma watches, silent but approving, his quiet presence a comforting weight beside you.
"See?" you say, glancing over at him, a smirk on your face. "I’m getting better."
Kenma gives a soft, almost imperceptible smile, and for a moment, the world outside the game doesn’t matter. All that matters is the shared silence between you two, punctuated only by the rhythmic sounds of button presses and the occasional murmur of approval from Kenma.
"Yeah." he nods, his tone almost fond. "You’re getting there."
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader#kawoala#haikyuu!! kenma kozume#kenma kozume x reader#kenma drabble#haikyuu kenma x reader#haikyuu kenma kozume#haikyuu!! kenma#kenma x reader#haikyuu kenma#kozume kenma#kenma#return to sender
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About the gender in hp thing: I know JKR wrote the books wanting the patriarchy to have minimal impact on the world but even through a couple of the metas you wrote you can see that that’s not the case. In your character crying post there’s a clear implication that showing that kind of emotion is a weakness but also that it is not masculine. Equating strength with masculinity is foundational for cultures with strong patriarchies, and this idea infests every other aspect of their lives. Idk because of that and many other reasons I have a very hard time of writing the wizarding world as anything other than a patriarchy
This is a watsonian analysis vs doylist analysis issue.
I 100% do think that JKR went out of her way to really, really downplay the importance of gender in her worldbuilding - and this contributes a lot to the specific feel of the world. You could genderflip, idk. Neville. Snape. Draco. Hermione. McGonagall. and almost no plot elements or character dynamics would change. (Maybe James would bully Severus slightly differently? Idk. He honestly might not.)
Compare HP to something like His Dark Materials, another British fantasy series released at the same time, marketed to the same demographic... in which gender politics are REALLY important. Lyra conforming or not conforming to specific gender norms hugely impacts the way a lot of other characters treat her. So much of Mrs. Coulter's character has to do with how she's navigated the back ways and side avenues into power, because the patriarchy that runs *that* world is extremely explicit and plot relevant, and there's a lot she just can't do.
Now is JKR *good* at writing a gender-blind world? Not really no. So she's stripped out the importance of gender in a fairly surface way, while leaving evidence of the foundations intact. Everyone's a het couple, women take the husband's last name, Molly and Petunia are at home while their husbands work and there's no inverse of that situation, Fleur's father walks her down the aisle at her wedding, it's important that Hermione be able to tame her hair when she wants to, but for Harry it doesn't matter...
There is ALSO the narrative voice poking through and putting its own spin on everything. This is where we start getting judgment (for example) directed both at girls who are too feminine, and at girls who aren't feminine enough. Or sexual assault not really "sticking" if it's directed at boys. We don't have a character talking, in-universe, about how it's wrong for a woman not to want children. We just have a book where the only women who don't have kids (or take care of kids) are villains. Same thing with masculinity = strength = no crying. That's something the narrative framing / bias of the author brings to the table, but it's kept out of the mechanics of the magical world. I guess you could say Harry and Draco equate crying/fainting with weakness (but not explicitly anti-masculinity)... but then Lupin goes out of his way to separate 'fainting' from 'weakness' anyway.
Interestingly, gender is much more baked into the muggle worldbuilding. (Part of why I think leaving that aspect out of the wizarding world was a deliberate choice.) Smeltings is an all-boys school, so is St Brutus.' Dudley teases Harry about his "boyfriend" Cedric, Vernon sizes up Arthur and Mad-Eye by how masculine they are. At the beginning of Book 4, Dudley's diet is this very gendered conflict between Vernon and Petunia, where Vernon doesn't want a "little nancy boy for a son" - and that is one of the only truly gendered insults in the whole series. "Crybaby" almost counts... but the Slytherins tease Hermione for crying too, so idk. They tend to go for pretty gender-neutral insults, like "poor" "unimportant parents" "looks like a chipmunk" ... etc.
Like... I'm trying to imagine a scene were Lucius lays into Draco for not being masculine enough, and I can't. I think that in a canon-compliant fic, a scene like that would feel odd. The conflict would need to be framed more like a "you disgrace the name of Malfoy with your weakness" or "never tell anyone outside the family what you're thinking" or "your believe yourself to be more intelligent than you truly are." Not "you need to man up."
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Do you have a recs for fics based on the Apprentice arc?
Ooohohoho yesss, you've come to the right person. I have quite a lot of fics to rec (ive been obsessively consuming and hyperfixating like mad on the apprentice arc in particular):
(Also i consider haunted to be part of the overall apprentice arc so there are a few fics based on and set after that episode)
First you can look at the tag "dick grayson as slade wilson's apprentice" on ao3 and there are hundreds of fics, with every dynamic and characters you could want, these are just my favorites ive read (put very very vaguely in an order going down from my most favorites):
Never Alone
My favorite, its a masterpiece, its amazing! After haunted robin continues to have hallucinations and its a finished longfic that gives a really good look into robin's mental illness and how he is still only a human. I made a whole post about this fic and how its perfect in every way, i have not binged a longfic this long in forever but i did this one in a single reading session because i was completely and utterly gripped
More coherent and detailed but completely spoiler free rambles about what makes this fic so good here i cannot stress enough how this is a must read if you like the arc. I like, really really want you to read this one
The voice and gears of sunset
Oneshot set right after robin is rescued from slade in the apprentice arc. It hits so hard and hurts. Robin's recovery and him trying to connect again with the titans after what he had gone through, the titans being there to help every step of the way. The ending melts my heart
Emotional motion sickness
Oneshot set many years later when the batfam is fully formed and robin is nightwing. A good fic with dick and damian's brotherly relationship and discovering new ways to cope. There is an encounter with slade and that scene fills me with so much undescribable emotion
The fight and the war
Oneshot with the batfam. After an encounter with slade, dick is interogated with his family about the way he responded to slade's commands in the battle and how it could have gotten him killed. Dick is forced to admit what happened back when he was with the titans in the apprentice arc. Very good protective batsiblings in a different way to the other fics
Bedeviled
Oneshot set right after haunted. The spores have a lingering effect and robin presses an emergency distress signal to batman who is there for him
To pick at a scab
Years later with the batfam dick comes to the batcave and his younger brothers have some questions about a sound recording from his time with slade. Dick is thrown into a vivid flashback and the batfam break him out of it and help him talk through it. Oneshot
Reforming Nightwing
Unfinished longfic. The titans never find iut about the nanobots and dick is forced to be slade's apprentice for 9 years. After Slade is killed and dick is able to excape, he goes to bludhaven where he picks up a new civillian name and the new identity nightwing. Meanwhile tim and steph want to figure out who this new "nightwing" and what his connection is to the villian "renegade"
Do you think batman will give me partial custody?
Oneshot. After the apprentice arc, robin returns to gotham. Unable to figure out how he feels about the situation he goes to his parents' graves where he encounters harely who helps him start a conversation with him about the abuse they both faced
The apprentice
Unfinished longfic where the titans dont discover the nanobots and robin has to continue being slade's apprentice. He spends his time figuring out how to get a message to the titans or to batman or to anyone without slade knowing
Just the same
Robin deals with stockholm syndrome and cant help but compare how similar slade is to batman and how in some aspects he is better. The titans are there to help him figure things out. Oneshot.
Next to my robin and some matchsticks
Oneshot set after apprentice part 2 where the titans patch up robin's wounds and talk about some scars he has, some from his time before the titans and some from slade
#i do a little ramble#teen titans#teen titans 2003#teen titans robin#tt03#tt#dc tt#robin#dick grayson#apprentice#teen titans apprentice arc#fic#fic rec#teen titans fic#teen titans apprentice#apprentice robin#haunted#teen titans haunted#starfire#raven#beast boy#cyborg#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#slade#slade wilson#deathstroke#teen titans slade
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i love when you're just vibing w a new game and you have loose ideas of the characters and suddenly you're hit w a "oh man i have a new favourite don't i" bc uhhhh yeah
#shut up danni's talking#i should make a dragon age liveblog tag maybe bc inquisition is making me feel things#like i was already sucked in w the first two games but inquisition upped the game in some areas#danni liveblogs dragon age#anyways. one of my very minor pet peeves in da is that you get new companions every single game and very very few stick around#so i wasn't expecting to like a lot of the companions in inquisition and that kinda came true considering i have mixed opinions on like.#at least three of them i think. two for certain but one im still unsure abt#those are solas and sera w the other being cole#so i am INCREDIBLY pleased to be like new fave#bc i didn't really have one in 2 it sort of ended up being fenris i liked best but not enough to feel so strongly abt#my new fave btw is dorian he's just so dramatic and though he's prideful its not to an extent that it becomes a vice its endearing#he knows when to push it away sometimes and its great#my favourite non-companion is krem tho#he's so cool#not bc he's trans which he IS and i love him for it but bc he's just really a nice character????#slightly disappointed he's voiced by a woman but his voice actor is one of my favourite game voice actors so i have conflicting opinions#(its jennifer hale. she did female shepard in mass effect and rivet in ratchet and clank)#my second fave companion is varrick he's just. a wonderful friend and i love him.#he's so aro-coded and i love that for him. genuinely would love to be his bestie irl#he's also so supportive of hawke and the inquisitor he's like 'hell this one gets into all kinds of shit i have GOT to be there for them'#anyways. back to dragon age lol
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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THINKING ABOUT.
Universe contamination. WAIT before anybody says Oh doc’s gone off the deep end This is an oc project.
Kind of started as an explanation for why when my friends and I did crossovers it went off the rails? Also because of how my writing changed over time, ha. (of course you know you can’t have an adventure story without something going wrong but still.) Whenever somebody visits Jer, peoples around them are more… aggressive? Heightened emotions? (shoutout to Finch)
And on the other hand when Jer visits other people they’re able to calm down any situations very well, and just bring positive vibes! But it’s very exhausting for Some Reason.
I’m not sure how jer got the idea, probably a slow realization/looking back or maybe confirmation bias and none of it is real! Haha!
Contamination is a Major worry Jer has! They’re paranoid that outsiders staying too long and butterfly-effecting things/causing trouble could permanently ruin the timeline. (I think that’s what triggered him into uh shutting down his portal the first time) (and hearing about what JJ did was very worrying also-)
Lost my train of thought so I’m talking about another related idea. You know how in movies when a character is worried that Something TM is nearby but the other characters tell them not to worry because it’s not real? Irl we don’t have to worry and you can reassure yourself because Science, but in the movie they’re right to worry because the creature can be seen and really does exist. Jer knows the ‘creature’ exists, therefore that Threat is always there and nothing others say will fully reassure him, and he’s right to think that. Uh my thoughts. Losing my train of thought. [insert that meme of me by a conspiracy board]
(Orrrrr contamination isn’t actually because of universe magic but becauseeee of the way the worlds are slightly different and the way visitors act and talk are recieved differently? And when people are getting to know each other, first impressions do a lot? And what JJ did was an isolated incident that had a lot of warning signs beforehand? So he doesn’t have to worry? But too late, the idea’s in his head now.)
… uh oh, Jer’s trying to run an experiment by giving his friends ‘good luck charms’ and seeing if objects from their world could affect another’s if kept for a long time. Jer no!! Chill out!!
——
On a fun note though, I’m giving jer night vision. wahoooo :D I might make a cool drawing for it laterrr
And thinking on Rev- I think yeah, folks in Jer’s world think he’s some kind of creature or… maybe a film star? That’d explain why he’s most often at the studio and acting dramatic HAHA- but in all seriousness I think movies there would lean on the more action filled/ more violent side (and on the contamination thing- once people got to know Rev they mellowed out so. Jer, calm down. Jer of course people are going to act oddly your various friends from ‘out of town’ have fangs, claws, unusual eyes, and demon horns) (shoutout to Caedem)
(but. But. Potentially if some dangerous ideas were introduced to Jer’s city you can’t just… take them back- like Pandora’s box. If Something made people start acting more selfish and cruel it Could contaminate the supernatural good fortune of the city. Haha what who said that? I love ideas that could go either way, that’s my jam. Who knows. (But I wouldn’t do that to them because Id have to write something complicated And it would be very sad. But the worry is real to Jer.)
Related- thinking onnnn Jer’s rat! Randy’s doing a very good job keeping them calm- annnnd explaining out loud what you’re thinking (even to a pet!) can help you realize how over-worried you are. They’re having a Mental Health Moment but are holding it together on the outside so [thumbs up]
#unrelated but. over new years I was chilling with some other people and… I dunno somebody commented on how weird my voice is.#I guess it never sunk in tIll recently. AND I don’t talk a lot to begin with so uh it doesn’t often show.#feckinggg if I wasn’t scared of doctors I’d check for. something. hrrghfdsvfbfn… ok back to oc thoughts#time to project it onto jer because I can#I kinda know what’s up though I’m probably in denial though. haha.#aH yeah some of the ocs idea here is from how twitchy I was about my characters getting hurt LMAO I was such a control freak. sorry friends#HA so forgetful it feels like I’m analyzing and making headcanons for somebody else’s story. oh boy.#unrelated I really need to think about my characters pronouns more. maybe it’s because of how similar jer and I am that I’ve given him some#to me? I just need to work through it I think [slaps desk]#jer is also vaguely worried that he should be doing more to help the other worlds- he has a great affinity for magic n whatnot but like.#it’ll probably be fine they can handle themselves yeah? but the thought is always there#no I’m not giving jer my horrible paranoia (JUSTIFIED PARANOIA UNFORTUNATELY) and moral ocd what do you mean. (/joke)#unrelated I really want to talk about the horrible misunderstanding between jer and pavel because of Universe Differences but I’ll do that#when I’m more awake
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genbu ai has been found dead in miami.
#JK JK this is really exciting im glad kotarous getting an ai singing bank first#the whole point of virvox is a variety of masc synth voices after all and hes got like a really interesting voice#like his goofy very character-y tone is pretty unique so thats gonna be pretty fun#i seriously would have thought ryuusei would be the first tho. mostly just because hes so popular#but then again his voice provider might be busy. hes doing a lot of vtuber stuff and theres the upcoming aivoice2 talk bank#and yeah i didnt think genbu would be first LOL i prophesized this......#i mean i didnt know for sure but i did think it would be kind of funny. and it is kind of funny <3#also low key... i wouldnt be surprised if they gotta hold off for a bit. genbu might be cursed? they have been so so SO unlucky with him#king of software deprecation. king of contracts falling through. hes trying. hes trying#so i was like okay the first ai singing bank might not be him KJDSHJfdsjhkfds#besides as much as i would like an ai bank for benby (i would selfishly prefer a SV bank specifically so i can have my SV conveniences LOL)#im pretty satisfied with his concatenative. if you havent noticed <3#also selfishly i hope the next singing bank announcement (whenever that is) will be sourin. i think hes another really unique vocal#and also i want that old man. i need that old man. who said that#but any of them im exicted for. the younger guys kotarou and takuto i think about a little bit less often than the others#but i still like em a lot so it'll be fun to have that (not)catboy around#when we get more info i may start planning out some songs for him to cover.... ruh roh im already considering a few....#edit: im hoping SV because i like it but i'll be fine with any engine. except someone reminded me ace studio exists#i went from no fear to one fear in seconds flat. nothing against the software ive never used it its just#subscription software is not something i can do orz. please anything but that. i will be happy with anything but that LOL
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rubbing my temples a little thinking about tim takes
#you guys know he's multifaceted and no singular voice line defines him right?#also you guys have heard his little very genuine 'oh no...' when he shoots ppl right?#yes he seems to enjoy it sometimes but others he REALLY DOESN'T.#it's hard to tell what's acting and what's genuine in tps but even if you take everything as being 100% tim like#he contradicts himself!!! A LOT!!! he is not one thing. he is not uwu innocent bean OR bloodthirsty psychopath!!!!!#he's a secret third thing (multifaceted)!!!!!#this is not at anyone in particular btw so if you think it's about you it ABSOLUTELY IS NOT!!!!! I'm just thinking out loud#just urgh at how there seems to be two different camps on what tim 'is' and neither is really accurate to canon ough#I'm ALL for different interpretations & i welcome them but when talking about CANON can we please. Not ignore entire facets of his character#there's technically no wrong way to interpret tim i guess but he's just so complex and it can be frustrating to see ppl take a handful#of voice lines that suit their purposes and run with those#and completely ignore the voice lines on the opposite end of the uwu to deranged scale. like. OUGH!!!!!!!#CAN A MAN NOT BE BOTH#aww kitty i ruv him and wanting to strangle kittens like that's the SAME MAN. SAME MAN!!!#dif games but using for direct comparison. you get it.#anyway. I love timothy lawrence#from uwu kitty luvr to getting a little too into murder to puppy kicking intrusive thoughts i love that man#ANYWAY. WHATEVER. interpret tim how you want!!!! In the end it doesn't truly matter i just am insufferable about him LMAO#sylv speaks#dl#i know I'm not one to talk bc my tim is pretty soft but still (<- person who wrote about tim getting off to the thought of strangling jack)#i don't rly have a point I'm just thinking about him and posts ive seen over the years#((once again this is NOT A VAGUE and NOT ABOUT ANYONE!!!!!!!))
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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i hate how obsessed ive become to this show but god i cannot help it
#the bun talks#you dont understand#its a mixture of it being the perfect balance of kid wholesomness and angst#and the nostaliga of when i was a kid watching athf and had the thought of what if shake actually tried to be a good person#coupled with the fucking amazing voice actors#the lovingly featured representation and doing it in a way to really make you think#my bf and i were talking about how its basically WOY if wander and hater actually had a non-toxic relationship#this is the first kid show ive been obsessed with in years since MLP#and scratch and mollys relationship mean the world to me#i feel for scratch in that when i was younger it was really hard for me to accept that people outside my family cared about me#and i feel for molly cause deep down i wish i was as optimistic and outwardly friendly as her#and i have her kinda child like naivity that theres always a chance for things to get better#ive even had thoughts of kinning her at this point and maybe i want to? i dont know#the new ep related to me so fucking much i know its an experience that a lot of mixed race kids have but. it really really spoke to me#i really relate to her in ways that i cant fully explain. maybe i do kin her. i kinda feel like i already am#and finally like#im. so fucking in love with scratch. SO fucking in love#i live and die hard for characters like him. so upset at the world but finally gets the love he needs.#hes so fucking cute too and snyder does such a good job with him. hes very close to my heart already.#definitely fits the category of f/os that are short. vioent. and grumpy. but just really want attention#and that coupled with his lore and mysteries and the potential of what he really is its just.........#god i love him so so so so fucking much#im embarrassed cause i mean its literally just a kid friendly and a lil more likable MS but. im pretty sure thats another factor of it#cause obviously shake was one of the best parts of ATHF and yeah hes funny on his own#but my child brain back then was like. 'man i wonder what would happen if he was nicer'#and now i have my answer. in the form of him being a cute blue blob that befriends a girl who helps him open up#and its so nice that the show doesnt rely on secondhand embarrassment or making certain characters feel miserable for a gag#its#its just. such a fucking good show#and if it gets cancelled im genuinely gonna have a breakdown
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goodness I love him so much
#wow. today was wild. i made more progress on the game and he showed up a LOT#he did some horrible things. beat some people up. kidnapped a child. suggested he cut the child's finger off and mail it to her grandpa.#but... 😳. im so in love with him. he's such an asshole but wow... wow. he's so funny and handsome.. and so strong... and his voice gives me#so many butterflies!!! to think that i once hated this man... funny how fast things change huh?#also. another character called him “the meanest son of a bitch i know” (direct quote)#HE'S SO RIGHT. BUT.. HE'S MY MEAN SON OF A BITCH#he totally owned it too ajsjajsj he KNOWS he's horrible!!!! but also.. he cares a lot about his Blade... too bad she didnt last for long LOL#ash tries her best to comfort him during that time. she had grown to care so much for the man she considered her biggest rival in the world.#she also falls in love with him- ahem- and um... if i may be a little self-indulgent........ a.khos falls for ash too.#AHEM SNDHWIRYWBRBW#it's the enemies to lovers ship of the century!!!!#(i never said this but... he can get really cuddly when he's sleepy. it's the cutest thing in the world honestly)#and... you know how he's a theater kid and always talks about the script and shit? well uh... after their first kiss ash just chuckles#'that wasnt on the script right?'#of course he says no. falling for ash wasnt on the script but... for once he doesnt mind going off script#ash just shyly smiles. 'youre really good at improv then.'#OH ALSO#AHSJWHDJQHDJ#a.khos also likes to call ash his 'leading lady'#GAAAAHHH I HATE HIM (lying) ive fallen so hard for him. he's all i can think about. my heart is his. i am so sorry to all my discord friends#because i never shut the hell up about him#ash rambles 💚#i love him!!!! i know he's an asshole but i love him for that too!!
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