#i think this is the longest oneshot i've written so far

[incorrect-jojolands-quotes]

So, I wrote a fic about Barbara Ann.

[mariabtsos]

Nuts - ||k.nj||

Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?

Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 

Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.

Word Count: 8.5k+

Namjoon thought himself a reasonable person, horny, but reasonable. He never needed to go to extremes to get what he wanted, whether it be an artist he liked to feature on a song, or fuck the sexy girl that kept bringing champagne over to his table at club. She was leaning against the wall of some small maintenance closet, her back was arched as he pounded into her relentlessly.

Once they finished, he could tell she would want more, doing a not so subtle attempt at slipping her phone number into Namjoon���s back pocket. He smirked and walked out after fixing himself up, knowing full well this would be the last time he’d see her, Namjoon never came back for seconds once he had them. It was nothing against the women he slept with, he didn’t used to be this way, but a few instances of heartbreak and a toxic cycle of make up sex can lead one to denounce love all together and give into pure carnal desire.

Such was Namjoon’s case.

When he arrived at his table he noticed his manager, Jin, and his two best friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, did not receive him with the usual knowing smiles, granted, this time he hadn’t waited long to ditch them for some pussy. Namjoon usually gave it about an hour or two into an outing before temporarily or permanently leaving his friends, but he supposed tonight he really needed a quick fix.

“Why do y’all look like you’re mad at me?” he asked, taking a seat and picking at the chips and salsa that had been placed at the center of their table.

The VIP section of the club was nice, it had a great mix of different low and high-grade celebrities, Namjoon liked to think he was making his way up from the low end of the spectrum, now that he’d been picked up a small label and his mixtape would go from SoundCloud to mainstream platforms.

“We’ve barely been here for half an hour, Namjoon-ah,” Jin complained, holding the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb, Namjoon just continued to stare at him confused. “Well, it’s not my fault, every time she was serving us drinks her tits were right there, and I don’t know if you noticed but they were beautifully proportioned,” he smiled cheekily.

His friends didn’t reciprocate it.

“The label signed you up for a reality show,” Jin stated bluntly, Namjoon almost thought he heard a record scratch, “why?”

“They think it’s good exposure for you,” the older shrugged, “plus it’s like a retreat, you get to stay in a villa with other people and you play games through the summer to win a cash prize.”

“Will I get to keep the cash prize when I win?” he asked, Yoongi and Hoseok sharing a look of annoyance at their friend’s cockiness.

Namjoon had never really been the cocky type, but once his mixtapes and albums started getting hundreds of thousands of streams, and girls seemed to follow him like bees in search of honey, he’d seemed to have his feet a little too far off the ground, and it got worse once he was signed to the label.

“The label is considering it if you create enough buzz around yourself.”

“Well then, I guess I have my work cut out for me,” he smiled, dimples on full display.

You kept refreshing your email every minute, you needed this opportunity, you needed this. It had been your dream since becoming a makeup artist to open your own salon. You were tired of taking clients in the small living room of your studio apartment.

You had been looking for an investor for months when you finally found one that had been interested in your business. He had arranged an interview with you and had asked for a portfolio of your work, just to see what you offered would be worth what you were asking, everything in the interview suggested it was. You were told to wait about a week for them to get back to you, and now that it had been a couple days after the week mark you were starting to get nervous.

The notification sound of a new email made your heart start to race.

From: Hwang Jongdae

Subject: Investment on 2!3! Beauty Salon

Good morning, miss Yn,

After careful consideration of your proposal, we have unfortunately decided that we will not move forward…

You didn’t need to read the rest of the lengthy email, you slammed your laptop shut, immediately reaching for your phone to call your sister, tears inevitably escaped your eyes as soon as she picked up your call.

“Ynie what’s wrong?” She asked, her face showing immediate concern. You explained the situation to her through sobs and snot.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“You could come out with me and Danbi, we are going to the club tonight, maybe you’ll find some rich drunk guy that will invest in your salon.”

You were apprehensive at first, but in the end here you were, in the middle of a night club making somewhat conversation with some guy who’d long taken off his suit jacket and tie, you weren’t planning on anything, you just wanted to someone to converse with since your sister and her girlfriend had ditched you to go dancing.

It wasn’t your fault you had ended up outside making out. You were just sad and needed some cheering up, making out with a stranger sounded like a quick fix, and maybe you’d get a room somewhere and you could enjoy the brief happiness that came with having a one night stand

“Well, I think, your story could make for great reality TV,” his speech was slightly slurred as he pulled away, a sign that the glass he was somehow still holding was definitely not one of the first ones he’d had tonight, “I’m casting this…um…competition show, you get to spend the summer in a pretty villa with pretty people and play games, you can win a SHIT load of money,” he kept leaning toward you, you had to hold back the urge to puke as his breath reeked of alcohol.

You were interested as soon as he mentioned money, you didn’t care what kind of competition it was, you would do anything to make your dream into reality, even if it meant participating in some stupid TV show and dealing with dumb people.

Namjoon was a bit upset about giving up his phone the night before their first day of shooting, but this retreat was meant to be a place where he could disconnect entirely. Which wasn’t an entirely bad idea, the past few weeks was mainly a lot of paperwork and filming his intro for the show, apparently, he’d be the “first to arrive.”

He was happy to see champagne set up on a hightop table, he served himself a glass and waited, other guys started showing up, and then the girls started showing up as well, and to say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement, all the women were beautiful and when you walked in? 

Namjoon quickly knew that you'd be his target.

He was immediately attracted to you, for a moment he really thought that whoever was up there, if there was anyone, must've put you right there, you were exactly the type he went for when he looked for a quick lay. You were wearing a full body bathing suit, given that the villa was at a beachfront, like shows like these often were. Your hair was down in what he assumed was its natural form, and your make up accentuated your face's features beautifully.

The rest of the girls immediately went to greet you, while the men just stared and spoke amongst themselves about who they liked, it was mostly varied answers. The six girls were the stereotypical body type you’d see in shows like these, although some were definitely on the curvier side, all from different places, the guys were pretty much the same, all well built and mouth-watering.

“Okay so to catch you up to speed…um” one of the girls spoke.

“Yn”

“Right, we have all been scanning the boys and let me tell you, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she chuckled, as did all the others. She introduced herself as Andrea, and the other girls introduced themselves shortly after.

They walked you over to where the high-tops were, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way the beautiful dragon-eyed man was devouring you with his gaze, and regardless of your small cover-up skirt and your full body bathing suit, you felt very much naked and aroused. If his gaze alone could do that, what could he do to you?. You had no time to calm your racing heart as he approached, his tall frame towered over you.

“Hey,” his voice sounded like honey, “my name is Namjoon, what’s yours?” he wasn’t subtle at all with the way his eyes trailed up and down your body.

“Yn,” you held your hand out to him “nice to meet you Namjoon,” he took it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips to kiss, you quickly took your hand away.

“What, you don’t like chivalry?”

“You don’t seem like the type to do it genuinely,” you admitted.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

Your neck was hurting badly, you didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to you, making his stature much more than what you had initially suspected. Namjoon enjoyed the vertical advantage, as it gave him a perfect view to your tits, so beautiful and round, he could feel himself slowly harden, he was ready to tell you to come with him to one of the rooms so you could act upon it, when the host of the show finally showed up.

“Hello guys!” he was a beautiful man as well, did this show only look for good looking people? The producer you’d met said you’d be with pretty people, but this was another level, what a major boost to your ego. “I’m Taehyung, welcome Games in Paradise!” Everyone cheered and clapped as the host gave a pretty boxy smile, “you’ll spend the rest of your summer here, where if you succeed with our challenges, you will win a fantastic prize! Your first challenge will be announced later on by the beach, please explore your home for the next two months and enjoy!” Cheers erupted from the small group again, and everyone dispersed after Taehyung walked away.

And explore you did, the villa was huge, it came fully equipped with everything one could only dream of having. The kitchen was fully stocked with a bunch of fancy appliances for your convenience, the bathrooms were gorgeous and came with both a standing shower and a bathtub, the sleeping area had six queen sized beds and nightstands were full of things to make all the sex everyone was planning on having more enjoyable, from condoms to toys, to lube; a few rooms were locked and you weren’t sure why, but no one really cared, considering everyone starting breaking off into duos and small groups to start enjoying their time there.

(T-4 hours)

Andrea, and yourself were enjoying sun-tanning on the lounge chairs right in front of the pool, your cover-ups long gone as your asses in full display as you laid on your stomach. You were reading a book you had picked out of the villa’s small bookcase, while your newly found friend had her eyes closed.

“So, you and Namjoon huh?” she spoke, you looked up to see her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose as she stared at you suggestively. “He’s hot as fuck, anyone here would stupid not to be turned on by his mere sight,” you shrugged.

“The way he was looking at you I thought he was going to fuck you right then and there!” she giggled. You sighed in response and went back to reading your book, mainly to distract yourself from the godly man you’d met, and the many things you wished he’d do to you, so your wetness wouldn’t ruin your favorite swimsuit.

Namjoon was watching you from far away, two of the guys he’d met on either side of him also watching the girls they so badly wanted. Namjoon would enjoy his time here, whether it was with you, or someone who offered to help with his urges sooner. “Okay,” he stood up from his spot, “y’all can enjoy staring and not touching, I’m going in,” he started walking off when he felt a smack in his ass, surely from Jimin, one of the guys he’d been seating with, and his newest friend.

As he walked down to the lounge chairs he noticed someone else taking your friend away, leaving you alone.

Perfect, no interruptions, he thought.

“Hello again,” greeted you once he was close enough to you, he sat down at the spot your friend was previously laying on, his eyes shamelessly enjoying the view of your ass.

“If we still had our phones I’d tell you to take a picture,” you quipped, Namjoon looked back to your face and found you had been staring at him, he flushed slightly at being caught, but got himself together fairly quickly.

“Can you blame me when you have such a wonderful ass?” he chuckled, his dimples in full display which only made him more attractive in your eyes. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely filled with tension, you took off your sunglasses, a small smirk on your face “I bet you’d love to fuck it wouldn’t you?”

Namjoon wasn’t expecting such a bold response. He choked on his own saliva and got into a coughing fit as he heard you cackle loudly. When it finally subsided, he noticed you’d left, leaving a water bottle at his feet and a note on the lounge chair you had been seated on not so long ago.

Meet me in the sleeping area ;)

(T- 30 minutes)

There truly was no way of explaining your current predicament. How had you ended up like this so quickly? It was truly all a blur.

All you knew was that you were straddling Namjoon, dry-humping his erection over his swimming trunks, and making out ferociously.

Namjoon felt his dick getting impossibly stiff as you rubbed your pussy against it, your moans swallowed by his lips as he put his tongue down your throat. He played with your tits, massaging one of the mounds with one hand and holding your ass with another. “Can I pull down the straps?” he groaned as you moved to kiss him behind his ear and down his sharp jawline; you managed to muster a pathetic ‘mmhmm’ and you felt your nipples brushing against his chest and then being pinched and rolled between Namjoon’s thumb and index finger.

“Your body is so gorgeous,” he complimented before putting the breast he was playing with in his mouth, making you arch your back and moan as he sucked and licked it to his heart’s content. When he released your breast from his mouth he slowly dragged his hand down to your core, expertly moving your swimsuit aside and using his thumb to rub your already sensitive bundle of nerves, “fuck!” you moaned, he then moved his hand so that his thumb continued to rub your clit as he inserted his finger inside of you, “so wet for me,” he added another, “so tight,” and another “can’t wait to fuck this slick, tight pussy until you can’t walk” his fingers curved deliciously against your walls and you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening inside you.

“Take off your pants,” you managed to plead.

“Hmm?”

“Take off your pants, please, I want to rid-”

“Hello,” a robotic voice interrupted your pleas, scaring you so badly you almost ended up falling off of Namjoons lap. He gently took his fingers out of you and fixed up your swimsuit just in case someone was about to walk in. “Who the fuck is there?!” Namjoon asked sternly, carefully moving you off his lap.

“My name is Lana,” that’s when you finally noticed the small cone on top of a decorative table. “I hope you are enjoying the retreat, please head down to the palapa, it should be next to the place you arrived at today.”

You and Namjoon stared at each other, having a mental conversation on whether you actually wanted to or not, ultimately going back to making out. Namjoon wanted you so badly, and the stupid Lana robot had definitely not made him any harder, but he was sure he’d be back to it once you guys got back in the mood.

“Hurry up, lovebirds.” Lana’s robotic timbre interrupted them yet again, making you fall backwards on the bed “ugh!” You complained, “Let’s go before she becomes more of a buzz kill.”

You sat next to Namjoon, his arm was around your shoulders. You saw Andrea sitting among some of the girls, one of them in particular, Jihee you thought was her name, was throwing daggers at you with her eyes. All you could do was give her a tight-lipped smile, looking away from her as the small cone that had scared you earlier slowly rose up on a platform in the middle of the table.

“Hello, contestants,” her multicolored light blinked as she spoke, “I have gathered information during this first day of the retreat.” Everyone looked at each other, in a very ‘what the fuck’ kind of way because up until she spoke, you had thought her to be a very fancy diffuser, “it has been most insightful.”

“What the fuck does she mean?” Andrea spoke up.

“The purpose of the retreat is to have you create deep, meaningful, emotional connections, instead of the meaningless flings you’ve all been having.”

“So… have platonic relationships with women?” Jimin looked confused, he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“To incentivize you not to do this, I have set the prize money to one-hundred thousand dollars.”

‘Oh my god’s’ were spread out through the group, as they all talked about what that amount of money could do for them, you opened up to Namjoon and Andrea who were the people sitting closest to you, “that money could definitely get me my salon!”

“You’re a hairdresser?” Andrea asked.

“Makeup artist, but I’m planning on having a full service salon,” you smiled sweetly, Namjoon found the sparkle in your eye somewhat endearing when you talked about your dream, but, he couldn’t let himself dwell on it for long, he wanted a good lay, not a deep connection, deep connections had only caused him pain.

“However,” Lana interrupted the group’s chatter, “there are conditions to your stay in order to win the prize,” you hoped the collective complaint wasn’t missed on the small cone, although you were sure it was, it was a robot after all.

“There will be no kissing.”

Your eyes widened, as did most of the groups. “Well, she only said kissing right?” Jihee said.

“No heavy petting.” 

“This is fucking stupid,” Daniel, one of the guys Namjoon had been hanging out with spoke.

“No sex of any kind, this includes self-gratification,” the chorus of what’s and no’s that broke out from the group were immediate, and you felt regretful, if you had cut to the chase sooner you could’ve gotten a really good dicking from Namjoon, and now you were all going to be blue balled.

Or were you?

(Day 2)

You woke up the next morning comfy, you and Namjoon decided you would share a bed, and his muscular arms held you tightly, and you felt protected in a way. You hadn’t been one for cuddling in a long time, not since your last relationship almost 4 years ago. It had ended quite tumultuously, especially due to its toxic and suffocating nature. It was mainly why you had one night stands, you didn’t have to cuddle if you didn’t want to, you could just leave right after.

You also didn’t miss Namjoon’s morning wood against your ass, no one was awake yet aside from you, so you decided to be a little risky and pretend like you were adjusting yourself, only to rub up on Namjoon’s dick some more. His grip tightened at your hips, you felt his breath against your ear as he groaned.

“You better stop that, or I’ll fuck you just like this,” he whispered, you could feel yourself getting slick at his words, how badly you wanted him follow through. “Don’t you want the money?” you whispered back, doing your best to hold your moans as he grinded against your ass, “Lana is a dumb fucking robot, how will she know?”

Fuck it.

That’s how you ended up with your shorts and underwear halfway down your legs, and with Namjoon’s fingers deep in your pussy, just like last night. You were biting your pillow and doing your best to hold back your moans. “You ready for me baby?”

Best you could do was reach back and touch him, you wanted to keep quiet just in case someone heard you. He slowly teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, you had yet to see it but when it breached you, you could tell he was thick, and as he slowly fed himself into your pussy, it was ten times harder to stay quiet. Yup. He was definitely big. 

He fucked you slowly, and he had to hold himself back as well, your pussy felt so good and it almost felt like you sucked him in deeper with every thrust, he wanted to rail you, to make you scream and moan so that everyone knew just how good he fuck you. “You’re taking my cock so well,” he praised you, causing you to clench harder on him, “if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” you answered, “why don’t you hmm? Maybe I’ll pump full of my cum too, and make you keep it in so no one knows what we did,” he bit your earlobe and you almost moaned out loud. The coil in your stomach snapped, and your back arched from the pleasure the beautiful man behind you was giving you, it wasn’t long before he came as well, and just like he said, you were filled to the brim.

After your morning shower and getting yourself ready, you were out and about with the girls hanging out in the pool, it was a hot, sunny day, and you were having fun hanging out with the gals.

“Were you okay this morning, Yn? I thought I kept hearing moan?” Jihee asked, making the rest of the girls turn to you. You and Namjoon had agreed to not tell anyone about your little escapade this morning. “I was having a really bad nightmare, I’m sorry,” you smiled apologetically.

Jihee didn’t seem to believe you, meanwhile the other girls rushed to ensure you were okay, they kept asking what your nightmare was about, thankfully, before the show you’d have a really bad one, so you used that one for your story, they didn’t know it wasn’t recent. However, you didn’t miss the angry looks from Jihee, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the guys came over to the pool to get you, stating that Lana had called for you all to go to the palapa.

You sat next to Namjoon again, who placed his arm on the armrest behind you. You were staring off, not really setting your eyes on one thing until they landed on his thighs. They were so thick and muscular, you wondered what riding them felt like, perhaps that could be the next thing you and Namjoon sneaked off to do.

“Hello, contestants,” the small cone in the middle of the table spoke, everyone greeted it back. “It has come to my attention someone may have broken the rules,” everyone stared around, except for Namjoon, who was playing with the leftover fabric of the headband you were wearing.

“No one’s done anything Lana,” Jimin stated.

“My cameras picked up movement and audio last night, are you sure?” The girls stared at you so quick you were worried they would break their necks, “Yn? You said you had a bad nightmare last night didn’t you?” Jihee’s voice was laced with cattiness, and you felt a slight tug to your headband.

“My cameras picked Namjoon, speaking also.”

“Her nightmare sounded pretty bad, I was whispering in her ear to calm her down, nothing happened,” the way he lied so effortlessly made you feel weird, and you remembered why you’d been single for so long, you didn’t want to be in another situation where you were gaslighted and lied to.

You were grateful that you had kept your movement so slow and subtle.

“Just a warning, if you are found breaking the rules, depending on what you do, you will lose money.”

All hell broke loose then.

(Day 14)

You had managed to go this far without you or Namjoon making a single sexual move, and it was killing him not being able to plow you like he wanted to. It was good because you weren’t the first to lose the group money, Daniel and Jihee were surprisingly the firsts to do so, Jihee had given head to Daniel twice in one day, losing twelve thousand dollars. Later on, Andrea and Jimin kissed a few times, losing six thousand dollars.

Namjoon thought that building an emotional connection was dumb, he’d done that before, and each time it ended in a heartbreak worse than the last, his most recent relationship being what made him swear off on relationships. The girl he had dated was someone he’d loved, he’d do everything for her, every song was for her, any money made from his music went to both his and her bills, he almost dropped his best friends for her. 

And then he found out she’d been cheating on him all along.

It absolutely broke him, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t good enough, he’d always been a gentleman, he would spoil her, love her, why wasn’t that enough? 

He didn’t care anymore, when he had an urge he would go to the clubs, or even after a gig he would pull a fan he found hot and he would fuck them until he was satisfied, leaving shortly after, or if he was craving something more intimate he would cuddle them after for a little while, no deep conversation, no sob stories shared, no number exchange. No strings attached. It was the only way not to get hurt.

You were so nice, such a good fuck. He almost wished you had met a few years before, then again would he have looked your way? He always seemed to be dating women who only wanted him for his money, women who never appreciated the little things. You did. He’d made you coffee this morning, using the keurig in the kitchen because he knew he would burn the villa down if he did it like some of the others were making it. He did it because you had become somewhat friends, sexual tension aside, your conversations were great, even if they were forced at first to distract you both from how badly you wanted the other, maybe he’d leave this with you as a good friend. All the girls cooed at the nice gesture, and Namjoon visibly cringed “it’s just fucking coffee it doesn’t mean anything.”

Oh, how those words hurt you.

You had unfortunately developed a crush for the rapper. He was so incredibly smart, he had such wisdom and insight, and his face card was crazy. You had felt horny the first few days, after your small rendezvous, but that subsided once you had more and more conversations, you really like his brain. However, how you felt didn’t matter, he didn’t want you like that, you were someone he fucked once and that he wants to fuck again, nothing more, nothing less. So, maybe it was a good thing that new players came into the scene.

Lana announced them, and it wasn’t long before you spotted them walking down the beach, two men. Both men were absolutely ripped, one of them had a full sleeve and piercings, making you salivate at the sight, the other didn’t have any tattoos, but he had a somewhat big nose and a beautiful smile. When they arrived they quickly introduced themselves as Christopher and Jungkook. The latter seemed to have immediately set an eye on you as he immediately started conversing with you and tried to get to know you better. You and the others had to explain the rules to the newcomers, they weren’t exactly thrilled, but they got over somewhat quickly.

“Ynie, do you want to go talk somewhere else alone?” the doe-eyed man asked, and how could you say no to that pretty smirk. Namjoon didn’t really like it as he saw you walk away with the younger man.

“You can’t talk to her the way you did this morning and expect her not to move on,” Andrea spoke, Jimin giggled next to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t care,” he clarified, making your friend roll her eyes.

“Attention, contestants,” Lana’s voice broke through the various conversations, “there will be a special event happening near the garden tomorrow, please go there in the morning.”

“What’s in it for us anyway?” Chris spoke up.

“The person who shows the most progress and success will win a date with a person of their choosing,” now that changes things.

(Day 15)

Without words. That’s what the workshop was called.

Lana had paired all of you up, and you had ended up being paired with Jungkook, whilst Namjoon was paired with Jihee. Namjoon wasn’t one to be possessive of the people he fucked, but it wasn’t that he fucked you before, you were his friend, and Jungkook seemed like he was up to no good, what with the big deceitful doe eyes.

You were excited though, it was a fresh start for you, maybe Jungkook will be able to give you that deep emotional connection you were supposed to look for. You hadn’t wanted it at first, but your growing feelings for Namjoon along with all the workshops you had done so far helped you realize that. This one in particular had two stages, the first one was picking up on your partner’s body language. You had to go for a hug with Jungkook showing a specific emotion, and he would have to guess it later, that emotion was excitement.

Once Lana gave you the go, you ran toward the pretty man and hopped on him, wrapping your legs around him. He quickly caught you, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to hold one of your legs up, you both were so giggly, and everyone in the group could tell you were enjoying each other’s company. Namjoon was hugging Jihee but he wasn’t putting that much effort in it, he was watching you and Jungkook, and the stupid shit eating grin he had whilst you hugged. How badly he wanted to be the one you had your legs wrapped around, he was getting a little upset at how long you were hugging this newcomer for, considering everyone had stopped except for you two.

“We don’t have all day!” Namjoon remarked, his tone was bitter. You didn’t realize you had embraced Jungkook for so long, you had connected a lot during his first day, you talked until the high hours of the night, so you felt good with him, it was easy. You let go and walked back, whispering I’m sorry’s to the group for the hold up. “The next stage is soul gazing, you will stare at your partner in silence, it encourages you to see and connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level,” Lana said.

The silence of everyone was quite comfortable, and watching Jungkook you felt such warmth and kindness emanating from him, and you also saw him tear up a bit. “You have a beautiful soul Ynie,” he admitted, and like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes from those words. Namjoon, however, was seething, who the hell is guy anyway, why is he making you swoon all the sudden? It was bullshit, absolute bullshit. After the workshop was finally over, Lana announced the winner, you.

“Yn, who do you choose to go on this date with,” the little cone asked, and everyone’s eyes were on you. The expectations were skewed, some were expecting you to pick Namjoon, and some were expecting you to pick Jungkook based on the past two days alone.

“Jungkook,” he had the prettiest smile, “wanna go on this date with me?”

“Yes!” He was very enthusiastic, giving you a quick side hug, the girls rushed to your side to help you get ready.

Namjoon was with the guys as they all watched Jungkook getting ready, he wasn’t very excited about the prospect of you going on a date with someone, he wanted you all for himself to enjoy and he couldn’t have that if you went with Jungkook. He heard Jimin giggling, noticing he’d been staring at him this whole time. “What?”

“Good thing you don’t have laser vision, poor Jungkookie would be dead if you did,” he continued to chuckle.

“I’m not even looking at him.”

“Give me a fucking break hyung, it’s obvious you are jealous of the guy, I mean just today’s workshop alone shows that,” Jimin explained, “if you like Yn you should shoot your shot.”

Did Namjoon like you? I mean he was definitely not repulsed by you, you were a smart, pretty girl. But how would he know you wouldn't use him? Sure you didn't seem like you would but what about when you were out in the real world?

“I'll be back,” Jungkook had a big grin on his face, “wish me luck!”

As Namjoon watched the youngest out of the men walk out, he decided he would get dressed himself, and get his frustration out with the punching bag at their designated workout area. Watching as he met you at the door to the villa. You were wearing a simple gray summer dress and it complimented your skin tone beautifully.

Jungkook was a little confused on why Namjoon was so adamantly upset at him, but he couldn’t worry about him right now, not when he was so excited to see you. You were incredibly nice to him when he arrived, and your conversation had been so wonderful when he’d pulled you aside. You talked about so many things, where you were from, what you did for work, what your goals were.

“I’m a tattoo artist! I’ve drawn most of the pieces I’ve gotten done,” he took off the shirt he was wearing, the white tank top underneath being the only thing keeping you from seeing his abs. His sleeve was beautiful, so incredibly colorful and full of life, he explained most of his tattoos, including the ones that were meant as cover-ups for others. Your eyes got lost in the way his muscles flexed as they trailed up his arm, eventually your gaze ended up meeting his.

He had stars in his eyes, and his smile seemed so incredibly genuine, he cocked his head to the side as he stared at you, “can I ask you something?” you nodded, “do you and Namjoon hyung have something going on? I don’t want to move forward with pursuing you if you are not available,” the question left you a bit stunned and you thought it through before deciding to trust Jungkook with the truth.

“We’ve had some serious sexual tension since we got here,” you admitted, “no one knows this but we actually fucked on our second night here,” the pretty man in front of you deflated a bit, and then it seemed to hit him, “so, not even the weird cone thing knows?”

“I mean she probably knows now,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, after that we agreed not to tell anyone, and we started building a friendship, I started sort of catching feelings, and I thought he was too, he would do little nice things for me, and then say something mean after,” you sighed, “so I’m not sure about him as person.”

Jungkook was a great listener, he stayed quiet and gave you his undivided attention the entire time you were talking, and now he sat pensive, looking up at the stars as he tried to come up with something to tell you, “I think you are really cool, Yn, and I think you deserve someone who will want you in every way, not just because you’re stunning” you blushed slightly at his words, “I would love to get to know you better and explore something with you, but if you want Namjoon that badly, then I don’t want to get hurt, going after girls who are emotionally unavailable or attached to someone else is exactly why I’ve become a man whore.”

You were shocked at his candor and honesty, but it endeared you to him and made you envy him. Why couldn’t you have your shit together? Why were your boundaries so unclear? Worst of all, a pretty guy who had treated you with nothing but respect wanted you… but your feelings for Namjoon were more, from the small coffee offering to conversations he would have with you about books you both had read, to deep conversations about each other’s life.

“You are a good person Jungkook.”

“But I’m not the kind of person you want.” You gave him a saddened smile, “I’m fine with being your friend Ynie, you are a good person too, and in time Namjoon will realize it too,” the night continued on with so much laughter, Jungkook felt like a long lost friend, and you were happy that life had brought him to you.

Namjoon was not happy. The people in the villa watched as he beat the absolute shit out of the punching bag in front of him, his jaw was clenched, and his mind was playing all the possibilities of what may happen on your date with Jungkook.

Did you do any of the things you'd done with him? Did you kiss him? Did you like him? Will you come back with a stronger connection and leave him to rot?

If you did he wouldn't blame you, he deserves every one of those things, especially after the way he'd treated you, all hot and cold. It truly isn't his fault, so many strings of wrong relationships, with the last one being a constant cycle of toxicity and gaslighting, which Namjoon can now admit he was a part of. Him and his last partner weren't good for each other, but they loved each other so intensely they didn't want to let go.

Love hard, hurt harder, you know?

He heard your unmistakable laughter along with his, and he started punching his bag harder. How long had he been standing here punching this poor bag? He didn't care, currently he was imagining Jungkook’s head on a stake.

“Namjoon?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned his gaze toward, whilst still in a punching stance, “can we talk?” Namjoon straightened up at that. He kinda liked the way you were checking how sweaty his body was, he didn't like your sudden frown however.

“Your knuckles are bleeding.” 

Were they? Surely he wasn't punching the bag that long that hard. But when he pulled up his hands to look at the damage he couldn't help but cackle.

“I guess they are.”

“Why don't you go take care of them and then we can talk, hmm?” You gave him a tight, close-lipped smile.

Fuck no.

There was no way he was letting you leave after you were the reason he'd been punching this bag, not when he'd spent the last however long wondering, overthinking, what you and Jungkook would possibly be doing. There was simply no way. It was almost a reflex the way his hand wrapped around your wrist, you barely had time to look at him before he pulled you away to a secluded corner of the villa, cornering you against the wall with both of his arms caging you in, droplets of sweat all over his body. 

It was crazy, the way your body seemed to respond so quickly to him, he heard the small whimper, and saw how you put your legs together, and fuck sake the way you were looking at him was like you were begging him to…

He wanted to do this right though. He moved away slightly, giving you some space to breathe, “what'd you wanna talk about Yn?”

“My date with Jungkook went well,” okay maybe not what he was expecting.

“Good for you?”

“I think we'll be great friends, him and I,” Namjoon suddenly felt himself taking a deep breath of relief. “Really?” The space he'd given you was gone again.

He hoped you could see just how affected he also was by you, how his own dick was stirring, having your body so close, having you so close. You must’ve sat there staring at each other for a few minutes, Namjoon’s gaze going back and forth between your lips and your eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to you, with you. He leaned in slowly, your height difference making him bend down slightly, your eyes fluttered shut and he stopped just close enough that your noses were brushing together, you were so beautiful. Before you could ask him what was taking him so long he connected your lips in a delicious, passionate kiss, your tongues explored each other’s mouths and your hands held onto his shoulders.

Namjoon was the first to pull away, only to move his kisses down to your jaw and eventually your neck, causing you to let out little moans, they were the prettiest sound to Namjoon. He found himself reaching for the shorts you had worn under your gray dress, “may I take these off?” he asked, his eyes hooded and filled with want, all you could do was let out a pathetically high-pitched ‘yes’. He hooked his thumbs at the waistband, dragging your underwear down with it, he watched them pool at your feet and then knelt down, “is this okay?” you felt his breath against your center, making you squirm slightly.

“Yes.”

He dove right in, licking the length of your slit, groaning at how aroused you were and he had barely done anything to you. He moved on to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking gently, causing your moans to become slightly louder, “you gotta keep quiet for me baby,” he instructed you when he briefly pulled away to catch his breath, the sight of the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness making you almost want to orgasm right then. He started eating you out again, this time adding his fingers to the mix, and you had to cover your mouth to make sure your moans wouldn’t be heard all over the villa. You felt yourself closer and closer to your climax and Namjoon could too, your walls squeezed his fingers tightly almost as if wanting to keep them prisoner, and he wanted nothing more than to replace them with his cock, especially because it was so painfully hard. You wanted that too, you wanted nothing more than for this to go all the way, but you felt that in order for what you wanted to work, things had to be different.

“Namjoon, stop” he immediately moved away from you, gently removing his fingers. You took a moment to catch your breath, as he slowly pulled up your shorts and underwear and fixed your dress for you, “did I hurt you?” he asked, holding your hips, looking genuinely concerned at your sudden request. He had an almost boyish charm when this side of him was shown to you, so sweet, so gentleman-like, why would he not be like this always?

“No, I just,” you sighed, putting your hands on his chest, “I like you Namjoon, I would like for us to try and get to know each other, for us to get the chance to see if this could go anywhere, but I’m not sure if that’s what you want, and I need to know, because I don’t want to be pining for someone that just wants me for sex.”

Your confession surprised him, he hadn’t thought that all your conversations and your sexual tension would lead to anything more than maybe a friends with benefits kind of situation. However, considering how he's been reacting to the possibility of you and Jungkook together, maybe he did want to explore more.

“I'd love to get to know you more Ynie,” he flashed his dimpled smile at you, and you felt your heart fluttering. Jumping into his arms for a hug in which Namjoon made sure to hold you extra tight. Maybe this was the beginning of his healing.

(Day 27)

The rest of the stay at the villa was great for you two, Namjoon was so very thoughtful, he made you fresh coffee every morning, and you guys had a reading date every afternoon, where you shared the big love seat by the pool, laying back on his chest as he held whatever book you were reading in front of both of you.

People weren't too happy once Lana deducted the money for your offense after your date with Jungkook, and they were even more distraught when they found out what shenanigans you'd been up to on your second night there, you had lost them so much money the price money was down to forty-five thousand dollars. Jihee almost jumped you, thankfully Jungkook was there to hold her back. Speaking of, you ended up having another girl show up, a sweet blonde named Maddie who immediately caught Jungkook’s attention. It was great seeing your friend happy. You guys would have chats by the pool when you got a chance and update each other on the happenings of your relationships. 

Lana had also been a bit more liberal by giving you all bracelets, when they lit up you’d be allowed to kiss the other person, this would only happen if your emotional connection had been proven to strong and genuine.

Although you and Namjoon were still very much in the eyes of everyone, “getting to know each other,” that would all change three days before you left the villa. You honestly had no clue when he had the time, but when Lana announced you were going on a date with Namjoon, everyone seemed to be beaming at the idea. He told you to dress nice. So you opted for a two-piece white set, with a loose halter top, white loose shorts, and wedges. Turns out you were going on a boat ride.

“Oh my god Joon,” you beamed as he helped you sit down at the front of the boat, where an assortment of sushi was waiting for you. You sailed along, enjoying the sun on your skin, and the beautiful man that kept feeding you sushi, especially since even if he tried to show you how to use chopsticks you still couldn’t keep the sushi in your grasp for long. You talked some more about life, and you ended up opening up to one another.

“My last relationship was like, three years ago,” he started, “she basically only wanted me for my money, but I didn’t really notice, I just wanted to love and be loved, and I thought that I was being good, I spoiled her, gave her everything and she still cheated on me, so I swore off relationships and became a man-whore,” he chuckled bitterly. “My last relationship was four years ago, it was very toxic, he basically made me feel bad for not always wanting to be on his dick, or because I spent time with my friends and not him, he went around telling everyone our business but always left out how awful he was to me.” You had been staring at the horizon, the sun slowly setting bringing golden hour to you.

“Eventually when we broke up, he tried getting back together with me, and when I said no, he started shit-talking my friends and myself, and all I could do was watch as they got tired of dealing with me and my drama, so now I only had my sister to rely on,” you felt Namjoon’s hand on your cheek, he watched with sorrowful expression, “you were crying.”

“I swore off relationships after that too, I have never felt more alone than during that time, and I didn’t want to feel like that again.”

“I know at first I didn’t do the best job at not making you feel that way, but I hope I can help you feel less lonely,” Namjoon said, still caressing your cheeks, you felt your wrist vibrate, seeing the big green checkmark on your watch, Namjoon had the same. You were ready to lean in to kiss him, but he stopped you.

“Before we kiss,” he started, “getting to know you has been amazing, I find myself learning some much about myself and slowly coming back to who I was before all the bullshit. I want us to be real, I want to go back to the real world and make it work with you, would you be my girlfriend Ynie?” Your cheeks hurt from how wide you were smiling, you never really thought of yourself getting back into a relationship, you had sworn you were too damaged for something like that, but maybe this was the start to your healing. “I want to make it work in the real world too, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” his dimpled smile gave you butterflies, and as his other hand reached your cheek to fully cup your face, he closed the space between you with a kiss that had been different from the ones before, the others were hungry, desperate, and horny, this one was slow, passionate, and breath-taking. You felt your wrist vibrate again, making you pull away much to your dismay.

“I’m excited for the outside world together,” his gaze was sweet and soft, something you had never seen. He laid back, opening his arms up so you could cuddle.

“Me too,” you smiled, quickly moving your picnic stuff out of the way and scooting over, you laid your head on his chest, you heard his heart beating so fast and so loud, “your heart is about to beat out of your chest,” you giggled.

“I was so fucking nervous,” you looked up at him, “but I am happy I think, hopefully we’ll make it through.”

Fingers crossed.

[imthesilentwriter]

The Sleepovers

Harry Potter x Wolfstar!Daughter!Reader

Summary: You have sleepovers with Harry; however, you start to suspect something is up when you notice things either before, during, or after your sleepovers. That is, until you figure it out why you have them.

Warnings: mentions of blood and bruises (let me know if there is any more I need to add)

Authors Note: This is the longest oneshot I've written so far - it's also the first one in the "Pre-Hogwarts" section (how exciting). I would like to thank everyone for their support on my previous posts, it makes a world a difference to someone like me, who just loves to write. So, without further a due, enjoy this fic... excuse the 8 thousand words word count :)

Word Count: 8334

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You notice something is different when Lily comes to pick you up from your home, instead of your dads dropping you off at Harry’s. Maybe you’ve always noticed something, or maybe you’re just starting to pick up on it now.

Here you are, standing in front of your dad, Remus, who is lying on the couch, his arm draped over his eyes. You’ve seen him like this before, the way his body seems heavy, and his face is scrunched up with lines that make him look tired, but there’s something more today. A pain etched deep into his skin that makes your chest feel tight.

He huffs out a breath, a sound you recognize, one that only escapes him when he’s frustrated. It’s a sound you’ve heard more often when your sleepovers are planned. Your little four-year-old brain can’t quite wrap around why, but you know something is bothering him, something that always happens when you’re getting ready to stay over at Harry’s.

You keep standing there, watching him, as he stays curled on the couch. His breaths are heavy, and a small part of you, deep inside, screams at you to make it stop. You want to help him, to take away whatever is hurting him. But you can’t, and you know that. You’re not sure why, but you just know.

With soft footsteps, you step closer, standing near his head. You reach out a small hand and place it gently on his forearm, your fingers barely brushing his skin. “Dad?” you say, your voice barely more than a whisper, but it cuts through the quiet.

Remus hums in acknowledgment, but doesn’t move, so you pat his arm gently, trying again. “Are you okay?”

Slowly, he pulls his arm away from his eyes, revealing the soft, kind hazel eyes you know so well. But today, they’re different. He looks at you with love, but the pain is still there, sitting behind his gaze like something heavy he can’t put down.

“Yeah, sweetheart, I’m fine,” he says, his voice quiet and tender, but you see it – how the corners of his mouth don’t lift like they usually do, how his shoulders stay tense, even when he tries to smile.

You tilt your head, thinking carefully before speaking again. “You don’t look okay,” you say simply, and for a moment, his shoulders stiffen, like he’s been caught.

Before he can answer, there’s a knock at the front door. The sound pulls both of you out of the moment, and Remus glances toward the door. “Lily must be here,” he says, swinging his legs off the couch and sitting up.

But when he stands, a groan escapes him – low and quiet, but enough to make your heart hurt. He’s moving slowly, like each step takes more effort than usual.

He looks down at you as he struggles to straighten up. “You’ve got everything?” he asks, trying to sound casual as he walks to the door.

You nod, holding your little bag close to you. “Yes,” you say, “Daddy made sure everything was in my bag.”

Remus gives you a small, tired smile and opens the door. Lily stands there, smiling softly at both of you. “Hi, sweetheart,” she says, waving at you with her gentle, familiar warmth. Her eyes flicker to your father briefly, and you notice the way her smile falters, just for a second.

“Ready for another fun night with Harry?” Lily asks, kneeling down to meet your eyes, but there’s something in her voice, something you can’t quite place. It’s the same way she always talks to you, but today, it feels different. It feels like she’s trying to hide something.

“Yeah,” you say, though your mind is still on your dad. You glance back at him, watching as he leans against the doorframe, looking so tired, so worn.

Lily stands up and gives him a look, one that you don’t understand, but you know it’s important. “Take care of yourself, Remus,” she says quietly, and your dad just nods, his hand gripping the door a little tighter.

“Have a good time, sweetie,” he says to you, his voice softer now, like he’s trying to put everything into those few words.

You feel a lump in your throat as you give him a small wave. “Bye, Dad.”

Lily takes your hand as you walk away, but as you look back one last time, you see him standing there, still leaning against the door. And in that moment, your little heart knows something.

You might not understand it yet, but you know there’s something more. Something your dad is going through, something that makes him hurt, and somehow, you just wish you could fix it.

The second thing you notice, that makes you believe something is up, is when James, Harry’s dad, leaves for the night without taking any of his belongings.

You’re sitting on the living room carpet with Harry, carefully stacking brightly coloured wooden blocks into a tall tower. You hear the sound of pots clanging from the kitchen where Lily is cooking dinner, her humming mixing with the sizzling sounds of food.

The room feels warm and cozy, but something in your chest still feels off. You’ve been thinking about your dads all day, wondering why you’re still here instead of back home with them.

That’s when you hear footsteps coming down the hall. You look up just in time to see James entering the living room, fully dressed to go out. His coat is on, and his shoes are laced up tight, but there’s something odd about him –  he’s not carrying his usual things. No bag, no wand holster, nothing.

“Hey, kiddos,” James says, his voice a little lighter than usual as he kneels beside you and Harry. He ruffles Harry’s messy hair, earning a giggle, and then glances at you with a quick smile. “What are you two up to?”

Harry points to the tower, his green eyes wide with excitement. “We’re building a super tall tower, Dad! Look, it’s taller than me now!”

James chuckles, reaching out to steady the wobbling blocks. “Impressive, mate. Just don’t knock it over too soon, yeah?”

But you’re not paying much attention to the blocks anymore. You’re watching James, your eyes narrowing as you notice the way he glances toward the door, like he’s in a hurry to leave. Something about it feels… wrong.

“Where are you going?” you ask suddenly, looking up at him with curiosity.

James straightens up, looking a little surprised by your question. “Just out for a bit. Got some things to help your dads with.”

Harry tilts his head, his playful smile fading. “Are you going to work?” he asks, his voice small.

James shakes his head quickly. “Not tonight, buddy. Just helping them out.”

You frown, your chest tightening with confusion. “But… why didn’t you bring your things? You always take your bag when you leave.”

James gives you a soft smile, though there’s something behind it you can’t quite place –something that makes your stomach twist. “This time’s different,” he says, brushing a hand through his hair. “I won’t need them where I’m going.”

You don’t like that answer. It doesn’t make sense. “But… when are you coming back?”

James kneels down again, this time looking you directly in the eyes. His expression is softer now, but there’s something serious underneath. “Not for a little while,” he says quietly. “But don’t worry, you’re in good hands. Lily’s got everything under control, and we’ll see each other soon.”

You nod slowly, but the worry in your chest doesn’t go away. If everything is fine, why does it feel like James is leaving in a hurry? And why didn’t your dads come to get you?

Lily appears in the doorway, wiping her hands on a towel. “Dinner’s almost ready,” she says with a smile, though her eyes flicker briefly between you and James. “You heading out now?”

James stands, giving her a quick nod. “Yeah, should be back by morning.”

He ruffles Harry’s hair one last time and gives you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “You two behave for Lily, okay? And don’t stay up too late.”

Harry grins up at him. “We won’t, Dad!”

But you stay quiet, still watching him carefully. There’s something about the way he moves, the way he glances at Lily, that makes you think they’re not telling you everything.

As James heads toward the door, you call out again, your voice small. “Are my dad’s, okay?”

James pauses at the door, his hand on the knob. For a second, you catch a look on his face – something like worry, but he quickly covers it with another smile. “They’re fine, kiddo. Just busy, like I said. Don’t worry, everything’s alright.”

And with that, he’s gone. The door clicks shut, leaving you sitting there with an uneasy feeling you can’t shake. Harry is already back to stacking blocks, his giggles filling the room, but you can’t stop thinking about James’s hurried exit – and why he didn’t take anything with him.

The third thing that makes you believe something is up when you’re told you’re staying an extra night. This isn’t normal. Sleepovers are supposed to be one night, and you’re confused. And, frankly, a little upset. You want to go home. You miss your dads, and you don’t understand why you can’t.

“No!” you shout, crossing your arms over your chest as Lily tries to guide you upstairs to get ready for bed. “I don’t want to! I want to go home!”

Lily kneels down in front of you, her eyes soft but tired. “Sweetheart, I know you’re upset, but you’re going to stay with us just one more night. You and Harry can have lots of fun tomorrow, okay?”

But you don’t feel like having fun. You feel angry, and a little scared, even though you don’t know why. You shake your head hard, your pigtails bouncing. “I don’t want to stay! I want Dad and Daddy!”

Behind you, James is struggling to get Harry into his pyjamas, Harry giggling and wiggling away like it’s a game. But you’re not laughing. Your eyes are stinging, and your throat feels tight.

Lily sighs and gently touches your shoulder. “It’s alright, love. Your dads will come pick you up tomorrow. They’re just busy tonight.”

Busy doing what? Busy without you? That makes you feel worse.

“No!” you shout again, your bottom lip trembling. “I don’t want to stay!”

You stomp your foot, the sound echoing through the hallway. James glances over, eyebrows raised. “Hey, it’s okay, kiddo,” he says, standing up after finally wrangling Harry into his pyjamas. “We’re going to have a cozy night, and then your dads will be here before you know it.”

But you don’t want a cozy night. You want your dads, and no matter what James or Lily say, it doesn’t make sense why you can’t just go home now. You can feel your chest tightening, the tears threatening to spill.

Lily looks at James, and for a moment, you catch the look they share, something silent and serious. It makes your stomach twist in a way you can’t explain. It feels like they’re hiding something.

“I don’t want to stay,” you mumble again, your voice small now as the tears spill over.

James walks over to you, kneeling down until he’s eye level. His hands gently rest on your arms. “I know, kiddo. I know you miss your dads. But they’re gonna be here tomorrow. You’re safe with us, alright?”

You shake your head, a few sobs breaking free as you bury your face in your hands. “I want them now,” you cry, your small body trembling with the force of your tears.

James pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back soothingly. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispers. “You’re gonna see them soon. I promise.”

But it’s not enough. You cling to him, your tears wetting his shirt as you cry, still wanting your dads. You don’t understand why you can’t go home, why this sleepover isn’t like the others.

Lily watches for a moment, her face full of concern, before gently taking Harry’s hand. “Come on, Harry, let’s go brush your teeth, alright?” she says softly, guiding him toward the bathroom. Harry looks back at you, wide-eyed, as he lets Lily lead him away, but you’re too upset to notice.

James holds you a little longer, whispering gentle reassurances into your hair. “It’s okay to be upset,” he says softly. “But you’re gonna be alright. We’ll do something fun tomorrow, okay?”

You sniffle, wiping your face with your sleeve, but don’t answer. James pulls back slightly, looking at you with those kind, patient eyes. “How about we read a story before bed? That might help.”

You don’t answer right away, but after a moment, you nod, still feeling the ache of missing your dads but too tired to fight anymore.

Once you’re in Harry’s room, you sit on the bed, still sniffling and sulking while James helps you into your pyjamas. Harry comes bouncing back from the bathroom with Lily, looking much happier than you feel. Lily sits beside you, tucking you both in.

“Harry picked out a story for tonight,” Lily says, holding up a book with a picture of a forest on the cover.

You glance at the book but don’t say anything. Harry wiggles excitedly under the blankets. “It’s about a werewolf!” he announces, like it’s the most exciting thing ever.

Your eyes narrow, and you frown. “I don’t like werewolves,” you mutter, turning away, pulling the blanket up to your chin.

Lily pauses for a second, glancing at you before opening the book. “Well, let’s give it a try. Maybe this one’s different,” she says gently.

She begins reading, her voice soft and soothing as she tells the story of a little boy who gets lost in the woods and meets a werewolf. But the werewolf isn’t scary – he’s sad, because he’s all alone, hiding from everyone because they think he’s a monster.

You shift a little, your frown deepening as you listen. Harry is listening intently, his big green eyes wide with curiosity.

“And then,” Lily continues, “the little boy realizes that the werewolf isn’t dangerous at all. He’s just a person, like everyone else. He just needs someone to understand him.”

You peek out from under the blanket, your brows furrowed. Something about the story makes you feel strange inside, like you’ve heard something like this before, but you don’t know where.

By the time Lily finishes the story, you’re quiet, staring down at the blanket in your lap. You don’t feel so angry anymore, but now there’s something else – something tugging at your chest, something you don’t quite understand.

“See?” Lily says softly, closing the book. “Not all werewolves are bad.”

Harry grins up at her, his thumb already in his mouth as he snuggles into the pillow. You, however, don’t smile. Instead, you look at Lily with a small, hesitant frown.

“Are… are there real werewolves?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Lily hesitates, her hand still on the book, before nodding slowly. “Yes, there are. But just like in the story, not all of them are bad.”

You think about this as Lily kisses both of your foreheads and turns off the light. You’re not as upset now, but you’re not sure why. You feel like there’s something more you’re not being told.

The fourth thing that makes you suspicious is when, during one of your sleepovers at the Potters’, you can’t sleep. So, you sit on the couch, your small legs tucked underneath you as you stare out the window.

The house is quiet, everyone else already asleep, but the full moon is hanging heavy in the sky, casting a pale glow over the yard. It feels bigger tonight – brighter too – and you can’t take your eyes off it.

Your bunny is clutched tightly in your arms, and though you know you should be sleeping, you just…can’t.

The soft creak of footsteps pulls your attention away from the moon, and you glance toward the kitchen just as James walks in. He’s rubbing his eyes, his hair even messier than usual, and you can tell he’s still half-asleep. He fills up a glass of water, and as he turns, he notices you sitting there, wide awake.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says quietly, walking over to the couch. “What’re you doing up?”

You shrug, hugging your bunny closer, your eyes flicking back to the window. “I couldn’t sleep.”

James raises his eyebrows, glancing out the window as if to see what has you so distracted. He sits down next to you on the couch, his presence warm and comforting, and takes a sip of his water. “Staring at the moon, huh?”

You nod, your eyes fixed on the glowing orb outside. It’s strange how something so far away can feel so…close.

James watches you for a moment before asking, “Wanna talk about it?”

You hesitate, biting your lip. There’s been something on your mind for a while now, something that doesn’t make sense, but you don’t know how to say it without sounding…weird.

“Why do I have sleepovers with Harry once a month?” you ask suddenly, your voice small.

James blinks, clearly caught off guard by the question. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice carefully neutral.

“Every month,” you say softly, finally looking up at him. “Why do I always stay here once a month?”

James pauses, glancing at the moon again before turning his gaze back to you. “Oh, well, you know… It’s just something we started doing, right? You and Harry are best friends, and your dads sometimes need a break, so we figured why not make it a tradition?” He smiles, but there’s something in his eyes, something that feels like a lie.

You just nod, accepting his answer, but deep down, it doesn’t feel right. It’s not the truth, but you’re too tired to push any further. Instead, you hug your bunny a little tighter, staring back at the moon as it seems to glow even brighter.

James clears his throat, gently ruffling your hair. “How about we head back to bed, huh?”

“I’m not tired,” you mumble, shaking your head. Your eyes are heavy, but your mind is still wide awake, thoughts swirling too fast to let you rest.

James just nods, not pushing you. “That’s okay,” he says softly. “We can sit here a bit longer if you want.”

You don’t say anything, but the quiet is nice. The two of you sit there together, the only sound the soft ticking of the clock and the faint rustling of the leaves outside.

After a while, James speaks again, his voice gentle. “How about you come sleep with Lily and me tonight? You’ll get some rest with us, I’m sure.”

You hesitate, glancing up at him. “I don’t know…”

“Just for tonight,” he adds, his smile reassuring. “I think it might help.”

Reluctantly, you nod, and James sets his glass down, standing up and holding out a hand to you. You take it, letting him guide you toward the bedroom. As you follow him down the hall, you can’t help but glance back at the window, the full moon still hanging there, watching you.

You don’t understand everything yet, but one day you will. For now, though, you climb into bed between James and Lily, her arms wrapping around you as she murmurs something soft and soothing. And slowly, despite everything, you start to drift off, the warmth of their presence easing you into sleep.

The fifth thing you notice – that makes you generally terrified – are the fresh cuts and bruises on your dad’s back.

You didn’t mean to snoop, not at first. You were just wandering down the hall, minding your own business, when you heard quiet voices coming from your parents' room. The door was slightly ajar, just enough for you to hear bits of the conversation.

Normally, you’d keep walking – you know you’re not supposed to eavesdrop – but something about the low, serious tone of your dads’ voices makes you pause. It’s like they’re trying to keep their words quiet, like they don’t want you to hear.

And that’s exactly why you stop, holding your breath and creeping closer to the door.

From where you’re standing, you can just make out the edge of the room, your dad Remus sitting on the bed, his back turned toward the door. You’re about to step away when something catches your eye – something that freezes you in place.

His back… it’s covered in bleeding cuts and dark bruises. Some of the cuts are still fresh, red and angry, the blood just barely dried. The bruises are large and deep, spreading across his skin in painful purples and blues. You feel your stomach twist with fear and confusion. Why is your dad hurt? Where did he get those injuries?

Your breath catches in your throat, and your heart pounds in your chest. You want to ask. You want to burst in and demand to know what happened, why your dad looks like this, but you don’t. You can’t. Something in the air feels fragile, like if you interrupt, the whole world will shatter.

So instead, you just watch.

“Hold still, Moony,” Sirius murmurs, his voice gentle but firm. He’s kneeling in front of Remus, carefully tending to the worst of the cuts. You can see the worry etched into his face, the way his hands shake just a little as he presses a cloth to the bleeding wounds. “This one’s deeper than last time…”

Last time?

Your eyes widen as you piece together what you’ve heard. This has happened before? But how? Why?

Remus winces as Sirius presses harder, and you see him close his eyes for a moment, jaw clenched in pain. “It’s fine, Pads,” he says softly, though his voice is strained. “Just… finish up. We don’t have much time before she gets back.”

Before you get back. They don’t know you’re already here.

You feel frozen in place, torn between rushing in to help and staying hidden. Questions race through your mind – how long has this been going on? Why didn’t you know? Why didn’t they tell you?

James said he was helping your dads. He said everything was fine, but how could it be fine if Remus looks like this?

You swallow hard, your throat tight with fear. Your mind can’t make sense of it. What could possibly hurt your dad this badly? You’re scared to know the answer, but you’re also scared of not knowing. The room feels too quiet, too heavy with secrets, and you feel like an intruder in your own house.

As you stand there, the fear mixes with guilt. You shouldn’t be watching this. You shouldn’t be here. But you can’t tear yourself away, no matter how badly you want to.

Sirius finishes bandaging Remus’s wounds, his face tight with frustration. “You can’t keep doing this, Remus,” he says, his voice quieter now, but sharp. “She’s going to notice. You know how observant she is.”

Remus sighs, his head hanging low. “I know. But what choice do I have?”

The words hang in the air, heavy with meaning you don’t understand. Sirius stands, his hands on his hips, shaking his head like he wants to say more but doesn’t know how.

You step back, heart racing, feeling like you’ve just witnessed something you were never meant to see. Tears begin to prick at your eyes as you back away from the door, heart pounding.

You didn’t understand what was happening, but it was enough to make your chest ache, and your throat tighten with fear and confusion. You shouldn’t have been listening. You shouldn’t have seen the cuts, the bruises.

You turn and walk quickly down the hall, your small feet padding softly against the wooden floor as you make your way to your bedroom. Tears are already spilling down your cheeks by the time you reach your bed, and you throw yourself onto the mattress, curling up into a ball as silent sobs shake your body.

You don’t want to cry. You don’t want to feel scared. But you do. And the tears keep coming, even though you press your face into the pillow, hoping to muffle the sounds. Why is Dad hurt? Why didn’t anyone tell you?

The questions keep swirling around in your head, but they have no answers. You’re left feeling lost, scared, and alone.

After a while, you hear a soft knock on your door, but you don’t move. You keep your face buried in the pillow, your body trembling with quiet sobs. The door creaks open, and you hear the familiar sound of footsteps.

“Princess? I’ve been looking for you,” comes Sirius’s gentle voice, soft but tinged with concern. You don’t answer. You can’t. All you can do is cry.

His footsteps stop near the bed, and you can feel him hesitating. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says, his voice closer now. “What’s wrong?”

You sniffle, trying to stop the tears, but it’s no use. You don’t want him to see you like this, but you can’t hold it in any longer. You feel the mattress shift as he sits beside you, and his hand gently touches your back. “Hey, hey… it’s okay,” he murmurs, sounding worried now. “What’s going on?”

You don’t respond, just cry harder, your body shaking as you curl up tighter. Sirius’s heart seems to skip a beat, and he quickly scoops you up into his arms, holding you close to his chest as he stands. “Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” he whispers, swaying gently as he holds you, his voice soft and soothing. “It’s alright, princess. You’re safe.”

You cling to him, your tears soaking into his shirt as you bury your face against him. His arms are warm and strong, and he holds you like you’re the most important thing in the world, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back as he sways.

“Daddy…” you finally manage to whisper through your sobs, your voice small and broken.

“What, princess?” he asks gently, his chin resting on top of your head as he continues to rock you.

“I want Dada…” you sniffle, your tears still falling as you cling to him.

Sirius’s heart aches at the sound of your broken voice. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and murmurs, “Okay, love. Let’s go see him.”

He carries you out of your room and down the hall, your little arms wrapped tightly around his neck as you continue to cry softly into his shoulder. He pushes open the door to the bedroom, where Remus is lying in bed, his face pale and tired, though he sits up a little when he sees you.

“She’s upset,” Sirius says quietly, looking over at Remus with worry in his eyes. “She wants you.”

Remus’s face softens, and he opens his arms as Sirius gently sets you down on the bed beside him. You crawl over to him without a word, wrapping yourself around his arm as if holding on to him will make the fear go away. His skin is warm and familiar, and despite the cuts and bruises you saw, he still feels like your dad.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Remus whispers, his voice gentle as he strokes your hair. “I’m here.”

You don’t say anything, but your sobs quiet as you nestle closer, your small body trembling less with each passing moment. You can feel Remus’s steady heartbeat under your cheek, the familiar rhythm calming you even though the fear still lingers.

Sirius sits on the edge of the bed, watching with concern, but you barely notice. All you want is to be close to your dad, to make sure he’s still here, still okay.

Eventually, your eyes grow heavy with exhaustion. The weight of everything – the fear, the confusion, the tears – finally pulls you into sleep. Your small fingers are still wrapped tightly around Remus’s arm as your breathing evens out, soft and steady.

Remus exchanges a quiet look with Sirius, his tired eyes full of gratitude and sorrow as he watches you sleep. He holds you a little closer, his hand resting protectively over yours.

“Sleep well, my love,” he whispers, his voice barely audible. And for now, with both your dads by your side, you do.

You’ve been acting strange. Everyone can see it, even if they don’t understand why.

It started off small – little changes that only your dads seemed to notice at first. You wanted to help Dad, Remus, with everything. Holding his hand when he walked, carrying things for him even though they were too heavy for your little arms. You were always there, hovering near him like you were scared he’d disappear if you didn’t keep him close.

But then, it got more intense.

You didn’t want to be held by Sirius anymore. Whenever he’d try to scoop you up, you’d shake your head and squirm away, making a beeline for Remus. Always Remus. You’d cling to his legs or lift your arms up toward him, begging to be carried. Even when Sirius tried to join in the bedtime routine, you’d edge away, making sure you were tucked into Remus’s side instead.

At night, you refused to sleep in your own bed. You’d crawl into your dads’ bed, nestling between them. But you always pressed yourself as close to Remus as possible, your tiny body clinging to him like a lifeline. No matter how much Sirius coaxed or joked, you wouldn’t budge.

It was confusing. They didn’t know what was going on – why you were suddenly so attached, so desperate to be near Remus all the time. They tried to ask, but you couldn’t find the words to explain. You couldn’t tell them about what you saw, the cuts and bruises on Remus, the ones he tried to hide but you had noticed.

Now, it’s another night, and you’re at the Potters’ house for your monthly sleepover with Harry. But things aren’t the same.

You’re in Remus’s arms when they arrive at the Potters’. You haven’t let go of him all evening, your small arms gripping his neck tightly, your face buried in his chest. Sirius stands nearby, looking concerned but trying to keep things light. “C’mon, sweetheart,” he says gently, stepping closer, “time to go with Lily.”

But the moment Remus moves to set you down, something inside you snaps. You cling tighter, shaking your head fiercely. “No! No, I don’t want to! Dada, please!”

Your voice comes out high-pitched and frantic, tears already filling your eyes. Remus freezes, exchanging a startled look with Sirius. You’ve never reacted like this before. “What’s wrong, baby?” Remus asks softly, pulling you back against his chest. His voice is gentle, but you can hear the worry in it.

“I don’t want to leave you,” you sob, shaking in his arms. “Please don’t go, Dada, please!”

Remus tries to soothe you, rubbing your back and murmuring soft reassurances, but you’re beyond comforting now. Sirius steps forward again, trying to coax you gently. “Hey, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re safe here with Lily and Harry. We’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

But when Sirius reaches out to take you from Remus, you kick out, struggling against him with more strength than anyone expected. “No! No!” you scream, your tiny fists gripping Remus’s shirt, your cries turning into a desperate wail.

It takes both Sirius and James to gently pry you from Remus’s arms. You’re thrashing, kicking, your little face red with tears and frustration. “Dada, please!” you keep crying, over and over, like it’s the only thing you know how to say.

Remus’s heart shatters with every sob. He kneels in front of you, his hands trembling as he reaches out to touch your face, but he knows there’s nothing more he can do. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers to you, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

But you don’t want promises. You want him. You continue to cry, your arms reaching out for him even as Lily finally steps in, wrapping you in a soothing embrace. “It’s okay, sweetie,” she whispers softly. “I’ve got you. You’re going to be alright.”

Remus looks like he’s about to say something – maybe that he should stay behind – but Sirius shakes his head, his face filled with pain. “We don’t know what’s gotten into her,” he says apologetically to Lily. “This... this isn’t normal. We’re so sorry.”

Lily shakes her head, her tone calm and firm. “It’s alright, really. She’ll be okay. I’ve got this.”

Reluctantly, Remus lets Sirius and James pull him away, but he keeps looking back, his face pale, his eyes filled with sadness. You keep screaming, reaching for him as they finally leave, their figures disappearing into the night.

Once they’re gone, you collapse against Lily, sobbing into her shoulder. She holds you tightly, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back, whispering soft words until your cries slowly start to quiet.

Even after you’ve calmed down, you refuse to leave her arms. Throughout the night, you cling to her like you did with Remus, not wanting to be put down, not even when it’s time to eat or play with Harry. Lily doesn’t force you. She keeps you close, holding you until you finally start to grow heavy in her arms, exhaustion from your earlier meltdown catching up with you.

Bedtime comes and goes. Thankfully, Lily managed to get you to sleep in Harry’s bed with him – though not without a bit of negotiation.

It started with you sitting cross-legged on the floor, arms crossed over your chest, your lower lip sticking out in a pout. “I’m not tired,” you muttered, glancing toward the window as if expecting your dads to come back any second.

Lily knelt in front of you, her voice soft and patient. “I know, sweetheart, but it’s late, and Harry’s already in bed. Don’t you want to keep him company?”

You shook your head, looking away. “I want Dada.”

Lily sighed, sitting back on her heels, thinking for a moment. “How about this? If you go to bed now, I’ll read you your favourite story. And tomorrow, we can make pancakes for breakfast. You love pancakes, right?”

You hesitated, eyes flicking toward Harry’s bed where he was already fast asleep. “...With chocolate chips?”

Lily smiled, sensing victory. “Of course, with chocolate chips.”

You uncrossed your arms slowly but still didn’t move. “What if I have a bad dream?”

Lily’s heart softened, and she reached out to gently touch your cheek. “If you have a bad dream, you can come right into my room, okay? I’ll leave the door open, so you can come get me anytime.”

That seemed to be enough. Reluctantly, you stood up, clutching your stuffed animal tightly to your chest. “Okay,” you said softly, your eyes still glancing toward the door, but this time you let Lily take your hand and lead you to Harry’s bed.

As she tucked you in beside him, you held onto her hand for a moment longer, your small voice barely above a whisper. “Promise you won’t leave me?”

Lily leaned down and kissed your forehead. “I promise, sweetheart. I’m just in the next room.”

Satisfied, you finally settled into the covers, snuggling up next to Harry. Your eyes stayed on Lily as she pulled the blanket up over your shoulders, but when she smiled and whispered goodnight, you closed them, holding onto the comfort of her promise as sleep began to take over.

But it’s not long before, after Lily’s put you to sleep, that you wake up. Your small voice breaks the silence of the night. “Lily?” you whisper, standing in the doorway of her bedroom, clutching your bunny to your chest.

Lily sits up, blinking sleepily. “What is it, love? Did you have a bad dream?”

You nod, your lip quivering as you clutch your bunny tighter. “Can I sleep with you?”

Her heart softens instantly, and she lifts the covers without hesitation, inviting you in. “Of course, sweetheart. Come here.”

You crawl into bed beside her, snuggling into her warmth, and for a moment, everything feels okay. But as you settle down, you glance out the window and see the full moon hanging in the sky. It’s big and bright, and for a moment, you just stare at it, your small brow furrowing.

“Lily?” you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Hmm?” she hums, brushing a strand of hair from your face as she watches you.

“Why is the moon so big?” Your question sounds innocent enough, but there’s something deeper in your tone – something Lily can’t quite put her finger on.

She glances out the window at the moon, its silver light casting shadows across the room. “That’s just how it looks when it’s full,” she explains gently, her hand still resting on your cheek.

You nod slowly, but the quiet lingers longer than usual. Lily thinks you’ve fallen asleep as your breathing starts to slow, the rustling of the blankets the only sound in the room. But then, in the stillness, your soft whisper catches her by surprise.

“I know about Dad.”

Her heart skips a beat, and she looks down at you, confusion and concern written all over her face. “What do you mean, sweetheart? What do you know?”

You hesitate for a moment, your small fingers twisting the fabric of your bunny’s ear. Then, in the same tiny voice, you whisper again, “I know he’s a werewolf.”

Lily’s breath catches, her heart aching for you. She sits up slightly, pulling you even closer, her arms wrapping around your small body. “Oh, sweetie,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to your head. “Is that why you didn’t want to leave him tonight?”

You nod, your face pressing against her side, and your voice is muffled when you finally speak again. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Lily holds you tighter, her own heart breaking at how much you’ve been carrying inside. “Oh, love,” she whispers, her fingers gently stroking through your hair. “Your dad is very strong, and he has Sirius and James with him. They take care of each other, and they’ll always come home safe to you.”

You sniffle, your grip on your bunny loosening just a little as her words sink in. “But… I saw him. He had cuts and bruises.”

Lily’s heart squeezes painfully at your confession. She stays quiet for a moment, unsure how to respond. “I know it must be scary,” she says softly. “But your dad is always going to come home to you, no matter what.”

You look up at her, eyes wide and filled with worry. “Promise?”

Lily nods, her hand gently cupping your cheek. “I promise, sweetheart. Your dad loves you so much, and he’ll always be okay.”

You don’t say anything else, but after a few moments, you burrow closer into her, the tension slowly leaving your little body. Lily continues to hold you close, her heart aching for the weight of the secret you’ve been carrying.

Eventually, your breathing evens out, and Lily thinks you’ve fallen back asleep. But just as her eyes start to flutter shut, you whisper one last thing.

“Thank you, Lily.”

Her eyes well up with tears, but she swallows them down, pressing another kiss to your hair. “You’re welcome, love. Now get some rest, okay?”

And with that, you finally drift off, safe in Lily’s arms. The full moon outside continues to shine, but for now, you feel just a little bit more at peace.

When you wake up in the morning, Lily holds true to her promise – pancakes with chocolate chips! The smell fills the kitchen, and you sit on the bench, legs swinging as you watch her expertly flip each pancake in the skillet. The kitchen is warm, sunlight streaming through the windows, and for a moment, everything feels perfect.

Just as Lily finishes the last batch, the front door creaks open, and you turn your head to see James, Sirius, and Remus walk in. Your heart skips when you notice Sirius leading a kind of hurt-looking Remus toward the couch, his arm around him protectively. Remus looks tired, pale, and a bit wobbly on his feet.

“Morning, love,” James says as he steps into the kitchen, planting a kiss on Lily’s cheek. He flashes you a grin. “How’re my two favourite girls doing?”

“Good,” you reply quietly, but your eyes stay fixed on the living room, watching Sirius fuss over Remus, guiding him gently to sit on the couch.

You try to hop down from the bench, but it’s a little too high for you to manage on your own. Without a word, James notices and comes over, lifting you down with ease. “There you go, kiddo,” he says with a wink.

You don’t waste a second. As soon as your feet hit the floor, you run straight to your dad, Remus. He barely has time to brace himself before you fling your arms around him, giving him the biggest hug you can manage. “Dad!” you say, your voice muffled against his chest.

Remus lets out a soft laugh, though it’s a bit strained. He wraps his arms around you, holding you close as you sit in his lap, clinging to him like you’re never letting go.

Sirius watches the two of you from the side, hands on his hips, and he lets out a dramatic sigh. “Where’s my hug, huh?” he jokes, feigning hurt.

You giggle, still snuggled in Remus’s lap. “You don’t need a hug, daddy, you’re fine,” you tease, glancing at him with a cheeky grin.

Sirius raises an eyebrow, stepping closer with a mock pout. “Fine? Me? Do I look fine? My heart’s breaking over here!”

Remus chuckles softly but says nothing, his hands gently brushing through your knotty hair.

You roll your eyes playfully at Sirius. “It’s just because… Dad’s special.”

Sirius snorts, eyes twinkling. “Special, huh? What, am I chopped liver? Come on, sweetheart, where’s my special?”

You giggle, glancing over at him, then say without thinking, “You don’t get one ‘cause you’re not a werewolf.”

The room falls into a sudden, heavy silence. All the adults freeze.

Sirius’s eyes go wide, his usual playful demeanour gone in an instant. “What?” he blurts out, looking between you and Lily, panic rising in his voice. “Who told her?”

Lily’s face pales as she stammers, “Sirius, she-”

“I figured it out,” you interrupt, your small voice cutting through the tension. “After last sleepover, when I came home, I saw Dada covered in lots of cuts and bruises.” You turn to Remus, your eyes wide and sincere. “I know you get hurt every time the moon is big.”

Remus’s arms tighten around you, his breath catching. He looks to the others, who are all standing there, unsure of what to say or do.

Sirius groans, running a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. “Merlin, Moony, I thought-”

“It’s okay,” Remus says quietly, his voice thick. He looks down at you, his expression soft, though there’s a sadness in his eyes. “She’s smart. She figured it out.”

James and Lily exchange a look, both unsure of how to handle the moment, but neither says a word.

You feel Remus sigh under you, his chest rising and falling heavily. He kisses the top of your head, brushing your hair gently. “You’re too clever for your own good, you know that?”

You just hug him tighter, as if holding on will keep him safe next time.

Remus’s arms remain around you, and he swallows hard before speaking, his voice soft but carrying the weight of everything unspoken. “I didn’t want you to worry about me, sweetheart,” he says, his words quiet but careful. “I hoped… maybe we could keep this from you for a little longer.”

You look up at him, confused. “But I already know, Dad. I’m not scared,” you say, your voice small but sure. “I just… I don’t want you to be hurt anymore.”

Remus’s face tightens, his eyes brimming with an emotion he’s trying to hold back. He glances at Sirius, who looks just as tense, before turning back to you. “I know you don’t, love,” he murmurs. “And I wish… I wish I could promise that I wouldn’t be, but…”

Sirius cuts in, his tone unusually sharp with worry. “We should’ve been more careful. I should’ve been more careful.” He’s pacing again, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “Merlin’s beard, Moony, she’s too young to have to worry about – about this.”

Remus sighs, rubbing a hand over his face as he watches Sirius pace. “It’s not your fault, Sirius,” he says, his voice steady but laced with weariness. “It’s no one’s fault.”

Sirius stops in his tracks, his jaw clenched. “But we should’ve been more careful. I should’ve been more careful.”

Remus shakes his head, looking down at you still sitting by his side. “She’s smart. We can’t hide everything from her forever.”

Sirius opens his mouth to argue, but Remus cuts him off, his voice gentle but firm. “It’s not your fault, Padfoot. She was going to figure it out eventually.” He gives a small, tired smile. “And I’d rather she hears it from us, in her own way, than find out some other way.”

You pull away from Remus’s chest just enough to look at Sirius, his usual playful smile nowhere in sight. “It’s okay, daddy,” you say quietly, trying to offer him a smile. “I just wanna help.”

Remus rubs your back gently, shaking his head. “You don’t need to help, sweetheart. It’s not your job to worry about me.” He pauses, struggling to find the right words. “This… thing I go through every month, it’s hard, but I’ve been dealing with it for a long time. I don’t want you to be afraid.”

“I’m not,” you insist, your arms still clinging to him tightly. “I just don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Remus’s eyes soften further, and he lets out a heavy sigh. “I know, love. I know.”

From across the room, James speaks up, his voice gentler than before. “Kiddo, your dad is stronger than you realize. We’ve been with him for years through all of this, and we’ll always make sure he’s okay.” He exchanges a glance with Sirius, then adds, “And we’re going to keep you safe too, alright?”

You nod, but there’s still a weight in your chest. You glance back up at Remus, your mind racing. “But… why do I have to go to sleepovers every time the moon is big?”

The room goes quiet again, and you can sense the adults exchanging looks over your head. Remus shifts beneath you, clearly uncomfortable with your question. Sirius stops pacing, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s for your safety, love,” Remus says carefully, his hand brushing your hair out of your face. “Sometimes, when the moon is full, it’s… it’s better if you’re not around, just in case.”

“Because you’re a werewolf,” you state simply.

Remus stiffens, his jaw tightening. “Yes. Because I’m a werewolf.”

You study his face for a long moment, then nod, though something still doesn’t quite sit right with you. “But you’re not scary.”

Sirius’s voice cracks a bit as he lets out a strained laugh. “Oh, trust me, kid. He’s scary.”

Remus shoots Sirius a look, but you’re already shaking your head. “No, he’s not. He’s just Dad.”

Remus’s expression softens even more, and for a moment, he looks like he’s fighting back tears. “You’re too good to me, love,” he whispers, holding you close again.

The tension in the room seems to dissipate slightly, the weight of the secret hanging between all of you, but now out in the open. After a moment, James claps his hands together, trying to break the silence. “Well, now that that’s all out in the open… how about those pancakes?”

Lily, who has been quiet this whole time, steps forward with a soft smile, clearly relieved for a distraction. “Right. Pancakes.”

But before you can move, Remus tightens his arms around you one last time. “I love you, my clever girl,” he whispers, and there’s a warmth in his voice that makes you feel safe, no matter what the moon does. “Always remember that.”

You smile, squeezing him tightly. “I love you too, Dad.”

Remus gently helps you down from his lap, and as you straighten up, Sirius grins, holding his arms out wide. “Alright, now that we’ve had all the emotional stuff, where’s my hug? I may not be a werewolf, but I’m still pretty special, you know.”

You laugh, feeling lighter as you run over to him, wrapping your arms around him. “Okay, daddy,” you say, making Sirius groan dramatically as if your hug is squeezing all the air out of him.

“See? That’s better,” Sirius says, ruffling your hair with a playful smile. “Don’t let dad hog all the hugs.”

Lily’s gentle voice cuts through the moment, her smile soft but relieved. “Pancakes are ready, everyone.”

As you all start heading toward the table, James claps his hands together. “I’ll go grab Harry. Can’t start breakfast without him,” he says, flashing a grin before heading upstairs.

You turn to Remus, still feeling the weight of everything that’s been said. “Are you okay, Dad?” you ask softly, peeking up at him.

Remus smiles down at you, brushing a hand through your hair. “I will be, sweetheart. Especially with you looking out for me.”

You nod, the warmth of being surrounded by the people you love filling your chest. Together, you sit down at the table, the heavy secret now shared, but the bond between you and your family feeling stronger than ever.

[ddoxhan]

that summer

draw me in your world, as you let yourself into mine let me be your safe haven, for I love when you shine

word count : 4.8k words

genre : fluff with a tinge of angst; your typical summer love story but haerin does not feel the same way you do for her?; runner! haerin x literature student! fem!reader; you are an overthinker and sometimes just wish you stop thinking

t/w : none :)

a/n : this is the longest i've ever written for a oneshot and honestly, i didn't want to split it up cause i wanted yall to feel the whole thing at one go. enjoy !

"haerin-ah, wait up!"

"you're just slow! we're gonna be late if we don't hurry!"

you swore you needed to wake up earlier to avoid having to rush to school, especially when haerin waits for you every day to walk together. at this point, the two of you had been running to class for three days in a row now, not walk. to your surprise, the girl has never complained or grumbled about how you would make her almost miss the bell. but then again, she's always been like that. haerin was never someone who wouid let out her anger on you or anyone in general. you've never seen her get angry, concluding that she just doesn't know how to.

the said girl turned her head around while not faltering in her rushed steps, making sure you're keeping up with her speed. but the thing is, she's the school's top runner and you barely pass your required tests for physical education. haerin knows, which was why she opted to drag you along by your hand. the sudden grab left you slightly taken aback. well, slight is an understatement, you were very taken aback. especially when you have the most obvious crush on her.

you've always had a crush on haerin ever since you were 12. it just happened so when she saved you from some bullies, aka silly boys, running away from them as you two rest at the neighbourhood playground after. she sat you on the swing while you cried in both fear and relief. but all the fear washed away when she flashed you a smile that you never forgot till this day. the way her eyes curved up and her snaggletooth showed with that big smile of hers, that's when you fell for her.

as you busied yourself in your own world, you once again arrived at the school gate right before they closed it off, with some students sighing at how they missed it by a split second behind it. a slow realization hit that you've ran to your limit, you tried taking deep breaths but it might have made it worse. sometimes you wished you were more athletic, for these kind of situations, and also to spend more time with haerin if you were in the track and field team.

"hey, try breathing with both your nose and mouth, it can help."

the girl in front of you looks unfazed, as if she just went for a relaxing morning jog. which isn't entirely wrong as you don't live too far from school. you stand up straight again, doing what she told you to. it actually did help but as she glanced at her watch, you understood what it meant.

"go on, don't be late for class because of me."

"it's fine, there's still some time. I'll go with you."

although you were very sure classes starts in 3 minutes, you didn't argue further as it just meant you get to spend more time although it's just minutes. when the two of you were put into different classes, the time spent together reduced drastically plus haerin's training after class on some days. it was just lunch and maybe weekends if she didn't have extra training. but you felt bad for wanting her to spend her only free day with you, so you try to refrain from jumping onto her bed during some weekends.

why is it so hard to just spend some time with her?

lunch came. and that meant you get to see haerin again after the last time before classes started. at this point, you were just too infatuated with her that you were experiencing some sort of separation anxiety that you can't seem to quite explain. there's nothing you can do about it, you were just that in love with her.

but you did not guess for her to walk along to the cafeteria with him. him who? him, woonhak, the heartthrob who happens to be almost as good as haerin in the track and field team. everyone who sees them walking down the corridor would literally stop to look at how good they look together. it's to the point that they gush over the possible relationship they should have.

you were one of the people who'd look too, but you were always left slightly upset and heartbroken whenever you heard such comments. for sure, woonhak didn't do anything other than walk with her because he likes to ask and learn from haerin when it comes to running. there was no one to blame for your feelings except yourself. and at times, you just wished you could just like someone else cause the pain gets unbearable.

"hey froggie! how was class?"

it might sound like you're being selfish, but you wished haerin only ever smiles at you like that. that smile, the very same one you fell for and also the one that makes your heart clench a little. not to mention the nickname, it makes you feel as if she sees you nothing more than just a friend.

"the same. mr park is giving out work, again. I'm not surprised anyways."

"how about you?"

you swore you saw how her eyes sparkled a little when she started telling you about hers. but you don't feel that much good inside after.

"oh! you know woonhak right? him and I got chosen to be interviewed for a promotional video for the school."

"oh, him..."

"sorry, did you say something?"

"ah, yeah I know him."

"yup him, we agreed to meet on sunday to prepare ahead of the interview. I'm sorry if you wanted to come over."

"no don't be, it's fine. I can just work on mr park's project on sunday."

"but still, it feels weird that I won't be around."

"oh come on, it's literally just a few hours! and before you know it, you'll be back and I can come over if you want."

"this is why you're my best friend, I can always count on you."

well, that hurt a lot. you didn't know if it was intentional or just coincidental as she manages to throw your urge to confess out of the window every time it surfaces. all you could hope was that she didn't take notice of your feelings, or else you swear you'd never be able to face her again. the very last thing you need is for this friendship with her to shatter to the ground like glass. but you knew, the moment you fell for her, you were already walking on thin ice.

"what do they have for lunch today?"

"kimchi fried rice, today has your favourite strawberry milk."

picking up yours, you shaked it to tempt her to quickly go get hers and come have her food with you. and so she did.

whenever it came to her favourite food, she always looks like a cute little kitten who's hungry all the time. and when she spots them, she'd rush to get it and sit with you with an adorable smile plastered on her face as she eats or drinks away. you wish you were able to be someone who makes her that happy too, but along with those thoughts were the heavy consequences of your confession.

whatever you two have built throughout these many years will just shatter like glass, into fragile pieces that will not be able to be pieced together again. even if it could be pieced together again, nothing can stay the same.

for now, you'll keep it to yourself. nothing has shifted between you and haerin, so you shouldn't too.

you have no idea what the hell you're doing right now. what kind of situation is this, you don't know.

"you told me we were gonna work on that project. as far as I know, this is not part of the project."

"I know, but just, we'll work on it after. for now, I just need you to accompany me."

"bro, this feels so illegal to be spying on someone."

"I'm just making sure that boy isn't doing anything to haerin."

"you know they're like the most shipped couple in school right? and woonhak's a really nice person."

"you never know."

all dani could do was roll her eyes at how dumb you look, she looks, with this so called disguise that barely covered their identity. she told you the shades were not it when it's practically indoors, and how it literally makes them stand out even more. at times like this, she questions herself why she's friends with you, and why she's willing to be in this with you. overall you were a great person, just not when you get too overprotective of the girl you love.

"if you're just gonna snoop around, you might as well just confess."

the moment you heard the word 'confess', the coffee you were drinking through your mouth came out through your nose. dani didn't know whether to laugh or help you wipe the table cause that was the reenactment of that 'the incredibles' meme of violet. maybe this was why she was friends with you.

"w-what do you mean?"

"you're too obvious to not notice each and every time you zoom out of class to have lunch with haerin. and zoom out again when the bell rings so you can head over to the gym hall to watch her practice."

"bro why didn't you tell me?!"

"tell you what? that you're like an idiot in love but the person you love doesn't seem to feel the same way?"

"I am not an idiot! but I definitely am in love..."

the mood suddenly shifted to somewhat gloomy as those words left your mouth. admitting that you had feelings for haerin to someone else for the first time didn't feel much extravagant than you thought. it wasn't that what you felt wasn't real or overwhelming, they very much were. but the thought of her not reciprocating them, broke you a little on the inside.

you've always imagined being by her side throughout university till the day you'd grow old and get a small house in the countryside. if it were the best friend context, things would have been fine. but you want to be there for her as someone she loves, too. as cheesy as it sounds, just the two of you against the world and no one can stop you.

reality begged to differ when you see how happy she is now as she picks up some clothes from the racks in a store. with woonhak smiling down at her. you couldn't deny that they look good together, way to good that it was believable if haerin told you they started dating after this date. the more you saw the two of them together, the more it was harder to imagine you being the one who would be making her happy.

although you've known her for so long, you weren't one to express your feelings through words. 'actions speak louder than words' was the motto you've lived with all this time. but this love thing takes more than that. being a literature student did not help with that vast range of vocabulary cause there was no point of preparing a confession. it has to come from the heart, and that's what makes it so hard.

"..."

"they left by the way."

your head whipped to the direction of the store they were in, and the last spot you saw them at was indeed empty.

"let's go then! you better saw where they are heading."

not even allowing dani to finish her chocolate drink, you dragged her along to chase after the two. they were definitely fast, very fitting to be in the track and field team. and dani did not sign up for this.

in the end, dani had to drag you out of that mall before you ended up actually stalking those two poor souls. you were definitely not pleased with that decision but you two had a project to attend to, so you placed whatever that's disturbing to the back of your head. although it was sort of futile.

"well, at least we got half of this done, sorta."

"we can meet again tomorrow after school to finish it up if you want."

the australian squinted her eyes at you, as if trying to question your intention. she had the right to after what you pulled off today.

"for real, this time. I kinda want to get this over with and watch haerin practice."

"you better keep your promise."

giving a salute, all dani could do was chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood with your antics. how can she not love someone like you when all you do was make everyone around you smile?

"hey, do you think it's possible that haerin would have feelings for me? even the slightest bit?"

"I don't see why not. you're a nice kid."

"the definition of nice is different for everyone, and so it is for me."

the older took a seat next to you on the bed, putting down her books on your study desk. when the topic about your feelings for haerin surface each time, you can't help but let your real self seep out a little, the happy-go-lucky facade faltering.

"you know, you don't have to be nice to be liked by anyone."

"but that doesn't mean I can be bad either."

"you know I don't mean it that way. it's just that, whether the person is nice or not, if you like them, you just do."

"that's true..."

it was feeling a little weird to talk about this with someone, but you were glad that it was dani. she was like an older sister figure that you could rely on whenever you needed her.

"you love haerin. and do you love her because she's nice? or because it's her?"

as you registered her words in your brain, you couldn't help but feel hopeful all over again, even after seeing those two at the mall today. maybe, they really are just friends. maybe, haerin does like you a little. maybe, you should confess.

you were so lost in your own thoughts that you couldn't feel the presence next to you, slowly clasping your hands. dani looked at you really endearingly, as if you were the person she cherished the most in the world.

"whatever you do, I'd be here to support, okay?"

giving her a reassuring nod and grin, dani's heart swelled at how your mood was lifted again. all she wants to see was you smile, regardless of who's behind it.

"FROGGIE!"

the shout from across your bedroom door grabbed your attention as your eyes darted towards it. as it swung open, the very person you two were talking about barged through to throw you into a hug. along with dani cause haerin knows her too.

"unnie! what are you doing here? the project?"

"hmm, we were just tidying up cause it's getting late."

the older slipped out from the embrace to finish packing her stuff to leave those two to their own world. maybe one day, she'd be able to find someone she loves too.

"bye unnie!"

"dani, I'll let you know what time tomorrow."

"yup sure, just ping me when you're done."

as dani left when she saw your thumbs up, you're tackled into another hug. you were wondering why she was being extra clingy after that date with woonhak. did woonhak confess to her? was she being shy about it? is she gonna tell you something? you were overthinking a lot of things and it wasn't a good sign cause that just means you're going to start doubting every single action haerin takes.

"I missed you."

you wish you would just disintegrate into dust at this very moment. everything that has happened today had already put your brain and feelings into overdrive. and for her to say this, made your heart feel heavier than ever. you didn't know why, it just didn't feel all that good although you did miss her too. but the words just can't seem to fall from your lips.

all you could do was look away and nod. because if you were to look at her, you think you are going to cry and confuse her even further.

"I should go shower first, it's been a long day."

"then we can cuddle!"

haerin slipped away from the embrace into your bathroom. with her belongings scattered around your room, it makes you feel even dizzier from all these crashing feelings. it's as if you are itching to confess to her or else you'd combust for real. that was why you could only keep your mouth shut, or everything would be over.

for now again, you try your best to act normal in front of her. for your own sake, for her sake, and to keep this friendship the way it has been this whole time.

everything went on like normal. you and dani wrapped up that damn project mr park gave, having lunch with haerin every day, spending your time watching her practice, hanging out every weekend. but as haerin's competition was approaching, she spends more time at the gym hall, even during weekends at times. you can't blame her when she's the top in her team.

this competition was utmost important for her as many big companies scout at this particular one. meaning that if she does well, she may have a chance of signing with one. but that means that she would have to move to the city if that does happen.

you were afraid to lose her. sure, you two would still be friends even if she was miles away. so that's exactly what you're afraid of, staying friends. you knew you had no guts to confess to her anytime soon. if haerin leaves, you will still be here. you can't imagine how it will be without her, because you've spent your entire life with her by your side.

even today, you're in your room as haerin is training more as days are left till the competition. divided between confessing or not, you wrote down all the things you want to get for her on your laptop. the tomato frog that she loves so much, a printed sweater with a cat, a couple bracelet that she had her eye on last month. you remembered everything like you knew the back of your hand. it wasn't intentional, but you just did. not to mention that you had quite bad memory that you took a week to remember your seatmate's name.

you were going to do it. you were going to confess. it took you years to finally make that decision and you want it to be perfect. what did it mean by perfect, you don't know. it was your first time, but you just wanted it to be from the bottom of your heart. regardless of whether haerin would reciprocate the feelings, you came to an agreement with yourself that it was fine if she didn't. she was going to move away when she wins that competition so it would just mean that you two stay friends. friends who are apart from each other.

although it may take time to heal, it was going to be fine. not everything in life can go smoothly, and you were willing to take the risk. it was unfair for both you and her. you couldn't pretend any longer that you saw her as a friend, when the way you treat her is definitely more than one. and she deserves to know what you feel for her, with no secrets kept between the two of you.

D-10.

"WOONHAK! GOOD LUCK!"

"YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT BRO!"

"HAERIN-AH! SLAY IT!"

"HWAITING!"

screams and shouts from both sides of your ears were definitely gonna leave them ringing for some time. of course you weren't going to miss haerin's big day. you were beyond proud that she made it to the finals after beating her opponents in the semifinals. quarters were a piece of cake since she was a whole second ahead of everyone.

it was no doubt when she held the fastest record for 100m among the schools here. the agents definitely had their eyes on her the entire time, it just depends on who she chooses.

you didn't really like going out for events like these but she was an exception. although you weren't screaming your lungs out for her, you caressed that ring on your finger very dearly. the ring haerin got you when you two got into the same high school, calling it "the lucky ring". whenever there were big happenings, you'd wear it, feeling that she was with you through them. this time, you wore it so she could feel that you were with her.

"ON YOUR MARK."

the determination on haerin's face didn't go unnoticed even if you were nowhere close to the tracks. and when she flashed that smile at you before the whistle went off, you cried softly into your hands.

you love her so much. so much that this was going to be the last time you two were going to be friends. friends who grew up together, playing with puddles at the playground. finding restaurants to visit together. laughing at stupid videos in bed. taking pictures and videos of each other when one is sleeping. all those days were going to be a memory. a sweet memory for you to look back at after this day.

reporters swarmed the winner of the competition, blocking the pathway for the others who could only sigh at their defeat. some were lucky with outstanding performance.

"could you tell us what's your future plans after this?"

"will you be signing with Krux? we saw their agent approach you personally."

"is it possible to know who kim woonhak is to you?"

"i'm sorry everyone but haerin will be heading off first, any questions will be answered by me."

the coach pushed haerin into the locker room before locking everyone outside with him. she let out the breath even she didn't know she was holding.

"so, who is kim woonhak to you?"

the noise was starting to die down outside as the reporters were led to a different room for interview. the silence was growing deafening as those words echoed across the empty room.

"you're my friend."

"damn, I really didn't have a chance, did I?"

"you know that very well. plus, there's a whole line waiting to date you so why waste your time on me?"

haerin couldn't bother, as she had something better to do and someone better to be with.

"sunbae, you do know I don't like you anymore right? not after you turned down my confession the other day."

"I was just making sure. I've seen too many of you playboys in action."

"oh come on, I'm not a playboy!"

woonhak was someone who was very responsive to teases, and haerin takes every chance she gets to tease the hell out of him. if anything, he was like a brother to her and she was like a sister to him. in fact, both of them decided to sign with the same company since they were offered. it was always good to have someone on your side in the sports world.

"I know, I was just messing with you. now get out, coach probably needs you."

"why me when the winner is right here chilling?"

"because you're gonna answer on my behalf."

the scene that was unfolding could easily be misunderstood if walked in at the wrong timing. and someone did just that. but what haerin didn't expect was that you walked in on them, seemingly laughing and smacking each other, like a couple. well, it did look like that to you at least.

you felt like you were interrupting something, so you dashed out of there as quick as you could. your eyes were stinging as the humid wind cut through your tears that were threatening to fall. although haerin was deemed the winner today, you were zooming past people faster than she could, as if in denial that you lost even before getting a chance to tell her.

it was getting more and more suffocating as the people around you were overwhelming. although you could breathe better when you reached the tracks, taking in the view of the vast field, it was too much that you had to hit your chest to let out some suppressed cries.

just as you felt slightly better, you felt a pair of arms swinging across your sides from behind, trapping you with them. you didn't even need to see who it is, as their scent invaded your senses, carrying familiarity with it.

"haerin-ah, congratulations! I'm so proud of you."

you turned around to bring her into a hug, but also hiding the fact you were crying because things were to change today.

"thank you, I wouldn't have done it without you."

"no, don't say that. you.. did it because you trained very hard for this. and you'll be achieving your dreams."

"you did do something for me, you were there for me. I saw you at the bleachers and that made me more determined to win."

"why are you crying, froggie? don't cry, we'll still see each other."

haerin cupped your face with her hands to wipe the tears off of your face. but that just hit the nail on the coffin, meaning that she would sign and leave for the city. which was now or never.

"haerin-ah."

"hmm?"

the endearing look in her face as she looks at you was more than enough to let you know she would be here for you no matter what. even as just a friend. although it was starting to rain, you knew you had to do it now. the words were getting stuck in your throat as it started to get dry. but, you were going to do it still.

"I love you."

"huh?"

the confusion on her face hurt you more than it should. you should know that she does not feel the same way you did for her. you should know that she was probably already dating woonhak after what you saw earlier. you should know-

"I love you too."

it was the first time you have ever seen that smile on her face. a grin so wide, it's like she's the happiest girl in the world. the most crescent eyes you've seen on her, as if she's staring at the girl she loves.

wait. she said she loves you too.

the sunshower was drenching the two of you but you couldn't give a damn about it. she said she loves you. she reciprocated your feelings. but you were having a very hard time trying to wrap your head around it.

"I love you too, you silly."

her laughter tickled your ears as you stood there frozen. your dumb reaction had her swaying you around with her in the rain as the sun was blinding through the droplets. just as she stopped to look at you again, you still had that bewildered face.

"I thought you were dating woonhak..."

"me? and that idiot? babe, you gotta be kidding me."

the sudden endearment had your cheeks flare up as you bury your head in her shoulder, in attempt to cover your face. but your ears were shooting bright red too, earning an earthy laughter from haerin, you could feel it through the embrace.

"so that means we're dating right?"

she looked at you with a shocked face before peppering kisses all over your cheeks.

"yes, of course froggie. unless you wanna get married."

the attempt at humor cracked both of you up, but you knew that was something you see happening in the future. but for now, everything was perfect. you were perfect, and haerin's urge to kiss you was too strong at that moment.

"can I kiss you?"

all you could do was nod and as her lips touched yours, that's when things were sinking in for you. your hands slowly draped over her neck as you pulled her closer to feel the longing for her warmth grow stronger. the sunshower painted over you and her, but you couldn't care less about what's around you when the most important person is in front of you. it was true that today was the last day you two were friends, but blossomed into a new beginning as each other's love.

as you pulled back to breathe, you two had your eyes closed, foreheads touching. although no words were exchanged, you knew, many more summers were to be spent with the love of your life.

it was the summer rain, the summer rain when haerin fell for you as you held her hand and ran in the rain back home.

that summer you fell for her too.

[wellgoslowly]

Hello! I love reading your stories and I was wondering if I could get a request please. It’s for Lockwood and Co. One day, Lockwood stumbled into a small bookstore because it was raining and there he finds the reader (and her dog, a boxer please) who owns the bookstore and they start talking and the reader doesn’t think anything about it (because she talks to all her customers the same way) but Lockwood starts showing up more often at the bookstore to just to talk to her and slowly but surely they start falling for each other. Thank you so much!!!

Bookstore Girl

a/n: this is by far the longest request I've written to date! I'm very proud of it and I'd defo be interested in writing a part two. I also just love me a good bookstore romance so this was super fun to write! i listened to the song bookstore girl by charlie burg a lot while writing this!! also there's quite a bit of tea related discussions and I have never made tea so pls don't scream at me I am simply american and unexperienced.

pairing: lockwood × fem!reader

word count: 3.3k

warnings: none

notices: a character in this oneshot uses neopronouns [ey/em]!! if you don’t know what they are, please check this out- and if you don’t support people who use neopronouns, do not interact. If you comment hate, you will be blocked. neopronoun users are valid and loved on my blog, and I won’t tolerate hate of any kind. if you use neoprouns- know that I love you and you will always have a place in my writing (as a person who goes by they/she/ey)

tags: @ikeasupremacy @oblivious-idiot @givemea-dam-break @tangledinlove @neewtmas @losticaruss @waitingforthesunrise [if yall want to be tagged when I post requests, lmk in the comments! also sorry if I forgot anyone!!]

It was a slow, rainier-than-normal London afternoon when you first met Anthony Lockwood.

“Hi there… Would you happen to have anywhere I could sit and… dry off?” You had been shelving what was left of a new shipment of classics you had just received when you’d heard a distressed patron behind you. “Oh yes, of course.” You said as you turned to face the customer, suppressing a laugh at the sight before you. A handsome figure stood behind you, their dark long coat absolutely dripping as they wrapped it around themselves, trying to salvage some sense of warmth. “We have a cafe in the back, follow me… and try not to drip too much.” You joked, and goddamn, of course the pretty customer had a pretty laugh.

“Apologies, uh… ma'am.” He said, noticing the pronoun pin on the strap of your apron. “I was just walking home and the storm came out of nowhere and one of my roommates broke my umbrella last week… long story.” They explained as you led them to the small cafe situated in the rear of the store. “Would you like anything? Cocoa, Tea?” You offered as they sat down at a small table near the entryway. “Oh, tea would be perfect, thank you.” They spoke, and you couldn’t help but notice the rapier attached to their hip as the sheath scraped gently across the hardwood floor.

“How do you take it?” Nellie, your best friend, business partner, and head barista, asked from behind the counter. “Hm- surprise me. However you take it is fine.” The customer said with a smile. You slipped behind the counter, brushing past Nellie as ey flitted about looking for the secret stash of eir favorite tea that ey always keep hidden, only taking from it on “special occasions”. Nellie winked at you as you slipped into the backroom, looking for the spare blanket you always keep back there for cold winter days. You rolled your eyes and shooed Nellie away, causing em to laugh. Finding the soft reserve blanket, you turned to take it to the sopping wet customer, only to find Nellie blocking your way.

“What are you doing?” Nellie asked, a slightly mischievous glint in eir eyes. “Getting our dripping wet customer a blanket. Why?” You asked, suspicious of Nellie’s train of thought. “He’s nice. Asked me my pronouns and told me he goes by he/him. He’s pretty cute too.” You scoffed. “What does that have to do with anything?” You laughed, causing Nellie to roll eir eyes at you. “You never let anyone use your blanket, not even me.” You laughed again. “Yeah, Nellie, well, you’re never sopping wet when you ask. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must attend to our customer.” You say, brushing past Nellie and ignoring eir laughter as you walked out of the backroom.

When you returned to the main floor, you noticed that the customer was no longer alone. “Bruce, leave the poor guy alone.” You laughed, watching as your dog, a Boxer, jumped up, front paws landing on the customer’s lap as the customer laughed. “It’s not a problem, honestly. He’s quite cute.” You smiled, handing the blanket to the customer, who took it with a soft “thank you” and an appreciative smile.

“I'm glad you think so. Some of our older patrons don't like that we have a dog around, but I could care less.” You say, bending down slightly to pet Bruce on the head as he jumped down from the customer's lap. “Is he yours?” The customer asked as he wrapped the blanket around his body. You nodded, sitting down at a chair opposite the patron.

“Yep. This place, too.” You said with a cheerful smile as Bruce jumped into your lap. “Oh! I had no clue I was in the presence of the owner.” You laughed, scratching behind Bruce's ears. “No, I'm serious, that's really cool. I run my own business too, but it's not… quite like this.” He chuckled, almost to himself, glancing down at the rapier on his hip.

“Wait- you run your own agency?” You asked, intrigued. You had vaguely heard of agents running their own agencies, but you hadn't necessarily believed that someone your age was capable of running something like that. And yet it kind of made sense, taking in his appearance- the long coat, white button down, black tie, and slightly too-tight pants gave the desired effect of making him look slightly older and a bit more authoritative.

He smiled and stuck out his hand. “Anthony Lockwood, of Lockwood & Co, at your service. Most people just call me Lockwood.” You smiled, shaking his hand in turn as Bruce grumpily whined at the loss of your hand. “[Name], of Read Rose Books. Pleasure to meet you, Lockwood. You know, I think I've heard of you. You did the Annabelle Ward Case a while back, right?” He nodded, a sparkle appearing in his eye at your mentioning of hearing of his agency. “Yes, that was us. It's a pleasure to meet you as well, [name].”

“And I'm Nellie.” Nellie had a knack for sneaking up on you at the worst times, and that day was no exception as Nellie had somehow crept up behind you without a sound. ~~The customer~~ Lockwood himself didn't seem to notice Nellie's presence, jumping about 3 feet in the air at eir arrival. Nellie set down Lockwood's tea, and he thanked em before taking a sip.

“Oh my god, this is amazing.” He said, turning to Nellie. “How did you do that? I've never tasted anything like it before.” You could see Nellie beam at Lockwood's praise, and you couldn't help but smile. “Secret recipe” was all Nellie said before ey flounced back behind the counter.

Lockwood chuckled, taking another sip. “George- one of my housemates, would love em. He's really into cooking too- makes all sorts of elaborate meals that always taste amazing.” You chuckled, looking back at Nellie. “Even I don't know what Nellie puts in there- ey've never told me.”

“If there's anyone who could get the recipe out of Nellie, it's George. He's an insanely good cook, and he loves tea more than the average person.” You both laughed softly before Lockwood spoke up again.

“Speaking of George, do you have a phone I could use to call home? Just to tell my housemates where I am.” “Oh, of course! Follow me.” With a distressed whine from Bruce, who had to depart from your lap, you got up off you chair and led a blanket-clad Lockwood over to the front desk, where your store phone was located. “Thank you so much, I should be quick.” He said, picking the phone up. “Don't worry about it, take as much time as you need.” You assured him. “I'll be right over there stocking some classics if you need me.” He nodded, and you walked back to where you had been dutifully stocking the beautiful new editions of Pride and Prejudice, making a mental note to leave one aside to purchase later for your own personal collection.

You were still within earshot, so you could hear most of the conversation that Lockwood was having (not that you were purposefully eavesdropping, of course- it was very quiet in the store so it was very hard to try and not hear his conversation. You did try, though.) Lockwood's conversation started with a “Hi George, I wanted to let you know that I'm ok-” before Lockwood was promptly cut off by a loud voice shouting at him, causing Lockwood to jump and have to hold the phone away from his ear for a moment.

“Hello to you too, Luce. Look, I'm fine- I got caught in the storm and *someone* broke my umbrella on that case last week so I had to seek shelter before it got too bad. Don't worry- I'm at that bookstore in town… The one George has been wanting to check out? Read Rose? The staff has been very nice and helped me to warm back up but I'm not sure when I'll be able to come home with how the storm is going.” A moment of silence followed as someone- Lucy, you assumed- spoke to Lockwood. The quiet was broken only by the sound of books being pushed into their respective slots on the shelves.

“No, no, Lucy, you are not coming to get me. I don't care if you broke my umbrella, I won't allow you to walk over here in the rain- Lucy? Lucy?!” And then Lockwood let out a frustrated sigh and put the phone back down on the receiver. You looked back up at him, stifling a laugh at his exasperated expression. “I guess one of my housemates is coming to retrieve me.” He laughed, running a hand through his still-wet hair as he looked outside at the still raging storm. “From what I could hear, they sound very stubborn.” He chuckled. “Oh, she is. Lucy is insanely stubborn, believe me.” You laughed, liking the picture you were putting together in your head of this Lucy already. “To be fair, something tells me you're fairly stubborn yourself.” You chuckled. Lockwood gasped, putting a hand to his heart. “You wound me.” He said, and you both fell in to laughter.

Your laughs subsided after a moment, and you fell into a comfortable silence as you stocked and Lockwood walked around, perusing the aisles of books. You two stayed like that for a couple of minutes, and you had never been more content to just be quiet with someone before. “Now I understand why George has been bugging me to visit here for so long. We haven't had much time- cases have been piling up so George is either at home or at the Archives most of the time these days.” You nodded in understanding as he took a book off a shelf near you and examined the cover.

“I get it. Not the agency work- I don't have any Talents. The stress, I mean. My grandmother owned this place and passed it down to me when she passed. Every day there's something new to take care of or a new problem that comes up.” You laughed as you put the last book on the shelf. Lockwood laughed as well. “I know exactly what you mean. You love it though, don't you?” He asked, turning to you. He smiled as your eyes met his, and you gave him a smile in return. “Yeah,” You said softly. “I really do.”

He grinned, and was opening his mouth to say something when there was a sudden noise at the door, and then there was a borderline soaked girl holding an umbrella standing breathless in the doorway. This must be Lucy, you thought to yourself. She was obviously righteously pissed, her hair dripping as she tried desperately to control the bangs that were matted to her forehead. “Lockwood, you idiot.” She said, shoving the umbrella at Lockwood and turning to face you. She sent a look Lockwood's way, which you translated to say something like “who is this?”. Lockwood smiled.

“Lucy, this is [name], owner of Read Rose Books. She and her friend Nellie have been very welcoming and helped me to get warm. [Name], this is my associate, Lucy Carlyle.” Lucy rolled her eyes, elbowing Lockwood in the ribs and whispering something like “you can just introduce me as your friend, you dickhead” before she turned her attention to you, smiled, and stuck out her hand for you to shake. You did, softly saying “nice to meet you”, as did Lucy. “Thank you for taking care of this one.” Lucy said after your handshake had ended, pointing to Lockwood. You laughed. “It was no problem at all, really.”

Lockwood moved to return the blanket you you, but you refused. “You need it more than I do. Just make sure to return it whenever you can, ok?” He smiled appreciatively, nodding in understanding before Lucy grabbed him by the arm ans hauled him to the door. “Thank you again!” Lockwood yelled at the same time Lucy said “Have a nice night!”, and then they were out the door and the shop was silent again.

Nellie was there within seconds, pressing a warm cup of cocoa into your hand. “I'm never getting that blanket back, am I?” You asked em softly. “Probably not, no.” Ey agreed.

---

It was a week until you saw Anthony Lockwood again.

It was sunny outside this time, and you had a pretty nice crowd going inside the small Read Rose venue. You were just finishing up a customer's transaction, barely had the words “have a good one” out of your mouth, when you saw him enter the store. He had on the same outfit, but his hair was more styled, in a totally not attractive way. He was entering the shop with someone who you didn't recognize. They were slightly shorter, with brown skin and curly dark hair and glasses.

You noticed the second that Lockwood found you, watching his eyes light up and a smile form on his face as he waved. You waved back and returned the smile when you saw what Lockwood was carrying in his left hand.

“I was thinking I'd never see that blanket again.” You joked as Lockwood and his companion walked up to the front counter. Lockwood chuckled. “I see how little faith you have in me.” He spoke as he passed the blanket over to you. “Well, she's not exactly unfounded. Remember that time I leant you a sweatshirt and I didn't get it back for a month?” You laughed as you placed the folded blanket on a shelf beneath the counter, not seeing Lockwood sharply elbow his companion in the ribs.

“Anyways, [Name], this is my best friend and business associate, George Karim. He's the one I told you about that's really good at cooking. ” You reached out your hand for George to shake, but he ignored it and turned to examine your store. Within seconds, he was walking away to an aisle that had caught his eye, leaving you behind with Lockwood as you yelled out a rushed, “it was nice to meet you!”

Lockwood smiled apologetically. “Don't mind him. He's au- he can be a bit brash, but he's a good guy, once you get to know him.” You smiled back as you waved your hand in a dismissing manner. “Don't worry about it. I hope I do. Get to know him, that is. Lockwood & Co. seems like a very fun bunch.”

All Lockwood could do was smile before George returned, informing you that they would be back soon but they had a case that night that they had to prepare for. You nodded in understanding. “I'll look forward to your next visit. Be safe out there.” One last dazzling smile from Lockwood and he was gone, being borderline pushed outside by George as you laughed.

---

It went on like that for weeks- at least once a week, Anthony Lockwood would wander into your shop, only once or twice actually buying a book. You got to know each other fairly well- you learned that he hated sugar in his tea, that he always wore pink socks, that he didn't always wear suits, and that he started wearing [favorite color] ties whenever he came to visit after you told him it was your favorite color.

You learned that his favorite genres were classics and mystery (and that he had a bit of an obsession with gossip magazines). Often times, he would come in right before closing a couple times a week and sit and read with you to pass the time before you closed and walked you to your flat a block away.

Every time this happened, Nellie would leave work a half an hour before you and give you a set of totally non-subtle winks before flitting off into the sunset. Lockwood never seemed to notice eir suggestive winks, and if he did, he never appeared too flustered.

Nellie would corner you every morning after, grilling you for every detail. “Why do you even care?” You would say, laughing as you unlocked the storefront. “Because a super hot guy is obviously falling for my best friend!” Ey would exclaim, and you would roll your eyes and laugh it away, making sure to change the subject while you tried not to dwell on the possibility that Nellie was right.

---

“Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite bookseller. Do you ever take a day off?” You laughed from your perch on one of the bookshelf ladders, looking down to see Lockwood standing below you, a smile on his face and his hands on his hips. You laughed. “Hi, Lockwood. To what do I owe the pleasure?” You bent over, grabbing a book to put up on the top shelf.

“I was sent by George to search for a book he was looking for.” Came the reply, not an uncommon excuse. You turned to reach for another book to stock, but you realized that Lockwood was holding out a book for you. “Thank you.” You said softly, and he looked up from the synopsis of a book in his hand to smile at you. “Of course. It seems you're a bit of a workaholic- I'd love to help in any way I can.” You laughed as you shelved the book.

“You're one to talk. Pretty much every time you come in here you've got that getup on and intense bags under your eyes.” You joked as you descended the ladder, taking the empty box from Lockwood's hands.

“Well, one needs to be a little bit obsessed to lead a top agency, don't they?” He asked, following you to the cafe. Nellie brightened as ey saw Lockwood trailing after you, calling out and asking if Lockwood wanted anything. “Yes, please, Nellie. Could you by any chance make your secret recipe tea to go? I really need to get going, but I was in the area and I just wanted to stop by.” Nellie smiled. “Aye aye, captain.” Ey said before they started the tea making process.

“I thought you came in to look for a book for George.” You said, turning to him with an eyebrow raised and a smile on your face. You giggled as you watched Lockwood flush. “Ah, yes, well, you see-” He was so caught up in his mumbling that he didn't realize that Nellie had appeared next to him, a bag in eir hand. “Jesus, Nellie.” Lockwood jumped, and Nellie chuckled. “Not Jesus- people do often get us confused.” Nellie joked before pushing the bag in front of him.

“What's this?” Lockwood asked, cocking a brow. "A gift for you, George and Lucy. For being such great patrons.” Lockwood smiled. “You really don't have to-” Lockwood started to speak, but Nellie interrupted him. “I insist.” Ey said before turning and running away before Lockwood could fight anymore.

Lockwood turned to you and scoffed. You chuckled. “Ey really like making baked goods for people.” You explained. Lockwood smiled, and the two of you lapsed into a comforting silence, taking in the slow crowd that filled in and out of Read Rose Books.

After a moment, Lockwood broke the silence. “Are you- would you be amenable to visiting Portland Row tonight?” His question caught you off guard, but you smiled nonetheless. “I could be convinced. Why? What's in Portland Row?” You asked, turning to look at him. He smiled softly, a soft flush dusting his cheeks. “Lockwood & Co. We just finished a pretty big successful case so we're throwing a small get together at the house, if you wanted to come?” He asked, and you could sense the nerves radiating off of him. You smiled, nudging his shoulder as you turned to face away from him, trying to draw attention away from the blush that was slowly spreading across your face.

“I'd love to.”

eeeek thank you so much for reading!! pls leave feedback, it truly makes my day :) also if you want to request or see my other works, my masterlist is linked in my about me post which is pinned :)

I love you all so much, remember to stay hydrated, and I hope yall have an amazing day!!! mwah

xoxo linnie <3

[blackjackkent]

2024 Writing Roundup!

Tagged by @queenaeducan-writes! Thank you!

Tagging:

@bardic-inspo  @astreamofstars @morganaseren @thedarkstrategist @istibaethoriel

@rhysintherain @0ccuria @gothyanki @dungeonsdragonsandlawyers

@babygurltash @eluvisen

(I tag folks who have liked this post over here! Following me and want to be tagged in other fic writer memes like this? Drop a like there! <3 And if you don’t want to be tagged anymore just unlike the post. c: )

words posted: For purposes of this meme I'm ignoring liveblog writing and ask meme prompt fills, and only focusing on stuff on AO3, which in 2024 totaled roughly 102,482. (This is including one chapter of Open Your Eyes that was posted in 2023.)

additional words written: An uncountable amount of liveblogging, ask meme fills, and WIPs that I'm not even gonna try to guess at tbh. XD

grand total of words: No idea. But in the multiple hundreds of thousands certainly. :O

fandoms: Baldur's Gate pretty much exclusively. (I did write one small Dark Souls flash fic.)

highest kudos: 70 kudos on Prayers and Hellfire

highest hit oneshot: 2358, also on Prayers and Hellfire

new things I tried:

Pretty much everything about this year was brand new, as I've never gotten into fanfiction on this scale and with this much enthusiasm before. But writing multiple-chapter fics and writing published E-rated fic were the two biggest things, I suppose.

fic I spent the most time on: I suppose Open Your Eyes wins this by default since it is a chap fic and has five chapters in it now. (Sixth in progress!) Of the one-shots, probably Sunset or Prayers and Hellfire, which were the two longest one-shots I wrote this year.

fic I spent the least time on: Besides the aforementioned Dark Souls flashfic, probably A Bond That Needs No Name or Owlbear Vignettes, both of which started as off-the-cuff liveblog posts and then got moved to AO3 after.

favorite thing I wrote: Sunset takes the cake here; it took me by the throat and demanded I write it. It's my longest one-shot ever and I'm extremely proud of the result. Unfortunately it's probably reached the full extent of its audience (Jaheira/Khalid is a pretty niche topic) but I am so glad to have given everyone a good show. :D

Runners up here include Prayers and Hellfire, my second-longest one-shot and first attempt at published smut; and The Two Sides of the Coin, my favorite take so far on Jaheira and Karlach's friendship.

favorite thing(s) I read:

Tbh I don't read nearly as much fic as I write, which is something I maybe want to work on in the coming year, but I will shout out everything I have read by @eluvisen (including and especially the epic that I don't think is published yet 👀) and the wonderful Pulled Into Orbit by @thedarkstrategist.

writing goals for 2025:

* Finish Open Your Eyes and Fault Lines

* Write The Grand Reunion once Fault Lines is done.

* Continue exploring Jaheira-related fic out of the enormous list of ideas in my backlog.

* Continue regular ask prompts and liveblogging.

* Don't burn out. XD

new works:

Gonna do like @queenaeducan-writes did and do a full summary even though evidently that wasn't the original intention of the question. XD

* The Blind and the Silent - Dark Souls flashfic set in the End of Fire ending of Dark Souls 3

* What Good, This Heart of Stone? - Hector and Lae'zel handle overwhelming emotions by beating the crap out of each other.

* A Bond That Needs No Name - Jaheira and Minsc reconnect after his rescue from the Absolutists.

* Owlbear Vignettes - Camp adventures with Buddy the Owlbear.

* Zariel's Crucible - Enver Gortash's final test for Karlach before selling her to the hells.

* Comrades and Lost Children - Karlach and Jaheira bond by the fire after Moonrise.

* The Two Sides of the Coin - Karlach and Jaheira discuss loss and being left behind.

* Prayers and Hellfire (NSFW) - Hector and Karlach's first time together (and Hector's first ever).

* Sky-High - Karlach, with Hector's help, wrangles the tiefling refugee children after the battle at Moonrise.

* Broken Little Puppets - Karlach supports Astarion after his stand against Cazador.

* The Hellraisers (hiatused chap fic) - Hector, Karlach, and Wyll's adventures in the hells, post-game.

* We Who Have Faced Gods - Hector, Karlach, and Jaheira talk on the road towards Baldur's Gate.

* Quiet Zone (NSFW) - Hector and Karlach, during their Avernus adventures, find a private moment together in the library of the House of Hope.

* Fresh Meat - Karlach remembers a dark moment early in her time in Zariel's army.

* Fault Lines (WIP chap fic) - how Jaheira and Nine-Fingers know each other, and how their friendship fell apart.

* Open Your Eyes and It Will Blind You (WIP chap fic) - origin story for Jaheira and Rasaad's relationship, and an adventure for the BG2 gang investigating a Sharran invasion in Rasaad's monastery in Calimport.

* A Harper's Bonds (ongoing anthology) - collection of short stories/prompt fills at different periods in Jaheira's life.

* Sunset - Khalid's death, and memories of Jaheira that gave him strength.

[earthtodora]

Fanfic Writer Interview

Thankyouuu to @uriekukistan and @rocketkid300 for the tag!!

Tagging: @izabella95 and @sailormew4

wow this one is a bit long oops.

How many works do you have on ao3?

i have 36 works (plus a couple of orphaned fics), 32 fics for jjk and 4 for haikyuu! most of my fics are one-shots, but i have a couple of multichapter fics, and there are 2 currently unfinished.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Saving You: my longest ever project and i'm still not over how much attention this one got. it's an itafushi time travel fix it fic, and writing it made me realize how much i like writing angst and hurt comfort!

so much for keeping this just friends: okay so this is a kuroken one-shot, post-time skip, with a smut scene at the end. i'm a bit confused about how it got so popular (my best guess is the timing, as i wrote it after the movie came out) but i'm really grateful.

i'm not too far and you're my favorite place: also a kuroken one-shot, in a 5+1 format. it's also rated explicit. wait, i think i see a pattern here. so maybe it's the porn, huh?

The Truth Is, I Want To Kiss You - itafushi one-shot (and no, this one doesn't have any smut). yuuji is hit by a curse that makes him say every thought that comes into his head, and megumi is forced to deal with the consequences. actually kinda happy with how this one turned out, and i'm glad so many people enjoyed it.

five times megumi's shikigami were affectionate with yuuji, and one time megumi finally was: - another 5+1, a cute, fluffy, megumi pov oneshot. one of the few times when humor was kinda successful, i think.

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

i always try to respond to every comment i get. sometimes (like now) i fall behind with comments on my one-shots, but i will eventually catch up! i really appreciate any kind of interaction and feedback from my readers, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when people leave me a comment.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angriest ending?

you know, i've been called an angst monster, but one thing about my fics is that they always have a happy ending. i just don't have the heart to write sad endings. that being said, at one point when multiple friends of mine started working on MCD fics, i kinda wanted to try it too. but i just can't bring myself to kill off half of itafushi, so they both had to go. there was resolution, and they were together in death, but they still died. so it was kinda bittersweet.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

honestly, most of them end quite nicely, and the ones that don't end happily still have a hopeful ending, if that makes sense. but i guess Saving You is the happiest, cause we get a proposal at the end, and a wedding bonus chapter is in the works!

Do you write crossovers?

i don't have any published ones yet, but i fucked around with a naruto/jjk crossover idea and wrote some scenes. i just like the idea of itafushi showing narusasu how to fucking communicate and be honest with each other. and i like the idea of naruto trying to convince yuuji to befriend the murderous monster sealed inside him, cause for him it worked out pretty well, so why can't it work for yuuji? (sukuna is not amused). basically a crackfic, which may or may not see the light of day.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah, i got some mean comments and some weird asks in my inbox once or twice. i don't understand why people get so angry and aggressive over fics, like, you can just close the tab and move on. especially if it's something that was clearly tagged, and was never intended to appeal to your specific taste. constructive criticism is of course always welcome, and i love interacting with readers, but when someone tells me they don't like a certain part and then follows up by telling me that the whole fic is trash, yeah, not a good vibe. lmao i remember getting a really condescending comment about me getting the timeline wrong and how i didn't even bother to get my facts right. spoiler, i had the manga open while writing and i got the timeline correct, so someone made a fool out of themselves by commenting that. ngl, that was pretty funny.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i like writing smut! but, i find that smut attracts a certain type of audience and i just don't have the patience to deal with the problematic ones. people seem to be very particular about their preferred top/bottom dynamics, and they get real upset when i don't follow their headcanons. so, i'll still keep most of my fics sfw, but if the mood strikes me, i might write a smutty one-shot, or an explicit scene in a multichapter fic. my smut scenes are usually pretty heated, and there's a bit of power play involved. i enjoy writing characters taking charge in a fun, consensual kinda way.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

actually, i had multiple fics of mine stolen and posted on wattpad under a different account name. i think the thing that pissed me off the most was seeing the author's notes and the "author" replying to some of the comments, like, are you fucking serious, bro. props to the wattpad tho, they took down the account pretty quickly after i reported it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, but i would probably cry if anyone wanted to do that.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also no, but i'd love to!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i guess no one is going to get surprised if i say itafushi, right? there's just something about their dynamic that has me in a chokehold and won't let me go. i enjoy reading their characterization in different settings, and there are so many ways you can explore their relationship. i also love satosugu, narusasu, kuroken, bokuaka, kagehina and iwaoi, so there's no shortage of fics for me to read.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i have a half-abandoned fic about post-canon megumi going through several stages of spiraling out of control, hearing voices, seeing visions and generally losing it. he's basically having a psychotic break, and it's really dark. i've never written angst to this extent before, and it's hard. i'd love to finish it, but it's a challenge, because i can't quite grasp the tone i want to set for it. might be worth revisiting some time later.

What are your writing strengths?

i love writing dialogue, and i like using it to convey character's personalities and relationships. my fics usually have a lot of banter between characters, and it's usually a lot of fun. i get told i'm good at writing angst, which makes me proud. also, if someone says i'm funny, then i consider that a personal achievement.

What are your writing weaknesses?

as i said, i love writing dialogue. well, it's not a weakness, per se, but my fics often turn out dialogue-heavy, and sometimes i need to balance that out. it's a learning process. my prose is a little bit flat, i don't usually add much detail to descriptions, so there's a lot of room for improvement in that department. it's mostly due to my impatience and desire to move the plot along, but whenever i read beautiful descriptive prose, it makes me wanna work harder.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if the situation calls for it, and the characters can have a conversation in another language, why not? i watch anime with subs, so honorifics sound natural and don't distract me, but when i use them myself, i like to keep them canon-compliant and not overdo it. some "iconic" japanese phrases do lose their charm when translated (choso hung up on the onii-chan thing is a good example), so in those cases, i'm good with just using the original version. it's a personal preference.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

i'm late to the whole anime party, so i'm still catching up with everything. i managed to finish naruto recently, and i read a bunch of sasunaru fics, and honestly, i would love to try and write something for them. they have a rougher, more aggressive dynamic, certainly more toxic than itafushi, and i'd love to play around with that.

i have 4 haikyuu fics published, but i don't have anything written for kagehina yet, so that's next on the list.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i had to think about this for a while, cause all of my fics are special to me in their own way. i guess i will always lean towards my angsty ones, cause, i love it when a description of pain gets the reader's emotions all stirred up, and i have a knack for making people cry, apparently. so, i'd say the world is cruel but i still love you (along with the farmfic that follows it up called let's take this mess and make a home)

but i'm kinda happy with my latest angsty one-shot, blessed with a curse, too.

[carriehobbs]

2024 writing roundup

Thank you so much to @wayhavenots for the tag!! 💕

I haven't done a lot of writing this year, but I'm really proud of what I've accomplished so far. Around the start of 2024, I came back after an approximately five-year-long break from fiction writing, so this year has been focused on getting my feet under me as a writer again.

words posted: 3026 words*

*I've done more nonfiction writing (analyses, syntheses, etc.) this year, but I'm only counting my fiction writing here

additional words written: 5380 words

grand total of words: 8406 words

fandoms: Blood Moon, The Wayhaven Chronicles

highest kudos: from the corners of my room

highest hit oneshot: from the corners of my room

new things I tried: Technically everything I've written this year has been an experiment of some sort! When I started writing again, I decided I wanted to deliberately experiment with different styles and writing different things, even if the writing didn't pan out the way I had imagined it would. Some things I've tried include:

Different narration styles! With Netflix and Chill, I wanted to try a narration style that felt a little more detached and distant, a bit more like an external observer watching the characters. I don't know how successful this was, but it was fun to try.

Epistolary (text-based) fic! I've never written something (even somewhat) epistolary before, and from the corners of my room presented new challenges for how I was going to format the fic, represent time passing, represent the editing process while writing texts, etc.

Multi-chapter fic! I've never successfully written a multi-chapter fic in all my time as a writer, so it's been an interesting process to try and find new approaches that keep up my motivation for finishing the work. It's really illuminated some of the places I get stuck as a writer, and it's been a fun challenge trying to figure out how to broaden my writing horizons.

fic i spent the most time on: Out of my published fics, from the corners of my room took me more than a few months from start to finish, mostly because there were extended periods where I took a break from writing. (Out of all of the fics I've written this year, my 13-going-on-30 au has actually taken the longest, also because of long periods without writing).

fic i spent the least time on: Despite including the time I took to research octopuses, Netflix and Chill has taken the least time from start to finish: it only took a week or two to write and edit.

favourite thing i wrote: Despite not being published yet, I'm going to say the 13-going-on-30 au. Writing multi-chapter fic has been such a different experience from writing oneshots (what I typically do when I write), and it's been so incredibly fun to try and plan something coherent that spans multiple chapters. I have about 2500+ words of just notes about how I want the plot to develop, or what plot elements need to be included at which times, or little details that need to be included consistently throughout the fic and to what effect. I've shared some of it before (in my wips tag), but here's another short (unedited, I'm still not allowed to edit) snippet to celebrate the new year that I don't think I've posted yet:

“Found her,” the woman declares before flopping indolently into a pulled-out chair at the table. “Safe and sound.” At the counter, the most beautiful man Alina has ever seen carefully sets aside a knife on the marble countertop and turns around at the woman’s words. His eyes meet hers and Alina’s stomach flips as the earth drops out from beneath her feet. “Alina,” the beautiful man says with an affectionate smile that sends warmth unfurling, blossom-like, in her chest. The fondness in his voice transforms her name in a way she’s never heard before.

favourite thing(s) i read (not a ranked list):

La belle dame sans mercy by Hoeratius. I actually read a lot of their work after finishing the queen's thief by megan whalen turner earlier this year, but belle dame has stayed with me because of how the relationships between all of the characters are handled with such complexity. I cannot count how many times I've just sat and buried my head in my hands because there's no way the plot can be resolved without everyone I like (including the characters I wasn't expecting to like) getting hurt.

I Can't See Me Lovin' Nobody But You by @/wayhavenots (aka the Rook Lives AU). I love how thoroughly PD has thought about how Rebecca + Avery's lives have been shaped by Rook's death (and consequently what their lives would look like if he was still there). I want to eat it so it permanently becomes a part of me.

on thin ice by @/ladiemars. I love how much thought has been put into adapting the characters and plot elements from the original context of the Wayhaven books to make them work in this ice skating au. the dynamic between Frankie and Adam is incredible.

it comes in threes by @/nat-seal-well. True to form, Chrys delivered another exceptional exploration of the Sewell family, this time focusing on N's mother. N's mother hasn't (yet) been touched on a lot in Wayhaven (and even then, what has been shared is in relation to N), so it's spectacular to read a fic where she gets to be front-and-center in her own story.

Always for the First Time by @/serial-chillr. I cannot stress how many times I have reread this fic. It introduced me to N/M, sunk its hooks in me, and hasn't let go.

writing goals for 2025:

Finish writing the 13-going-on-30 au!

Write fic from the perspective of a different character. Both from the corners of my room and the 13-going-on-30 au are from the perspective of my oc Alina Langford, so it would be nice to write something a little different this year (Wayhaven fic from the perspective of a different oc, fic for a different fandom, fic written from the perspective of a canon character, etc.)

new works:

Netflix and Chill (Blood Moon, MC/Marco, 1417 words)

from the corners of my room (The Wayhaven Chronicles, MC/Nate Sewell, 1609 words)

tagging: @nat-seal-well, @serially-wayhaven, @tommykinard217, and anyone else who wants to share their writing journey this year!

[pixelchills]

Also in each of of your fics which were your most fav chapter you've written for them?

Oh, this is such an interesting question and I'm so bad at making choices... XD I'll try to answer this as best as I can with all of my multichapter fics (and grouping oneshots together).

Dolldrops First Adventure:

Despite not being able to finish the last chapter of this fic, I think my favourite chapter to write was either chapter 3 or 4, because that's when I realised I really enjoyed writing things from Sun's POV and have my stories centre around his experience. The alarm clock scene and Sunny and Chill making flower crowns were also really cute to write.

A Not so Sunny World (Prequel):

This is my longest fic so far, so it's really hard to choose which chapter I enjoyed writing the most... I am quite torn between the first meeting between our celestial animutants in chapter 3, and Sun's embarrassing sexual awakening in chapter 17 after Moon cuddles him...

A Not so Sunny World:

So far, I think I really nailed the tension and horror in the first chapter quite well. I literally had to take breaks from writing it and even delete a scene because I was so anxious of what was happening. I'm aiming to gain a similar climax to the last chapter of Arc 1.

My Dear Daffodil:

I actually like most of the chapters in this fic for different reasons, but if I need to choose which one I enjoyed writing the most, it must've been the first one. I loved getting Solar's backstory out and build him up as a character.

May I Love You

Even though there's only a couple of chapters out, I've written 5 so far. My favourite one to write must've been chapter 3 so far, but I don't want to spoil it ;)

From all of my oneshots, Bloodmoon has been the one I probably enjoyed writing the most. It was refreshing to touch a subject I haven't seen many writers do and write a hurt/comfort fic with my favourite characters (or my version of them). It is also a very personal work for me since all of Moon's uncomfort and pain comes from personal experiences.

[kay-elle-cee]

If you could recommend one of your fics to me which would it be and why?

Hi anon! This might be cheating, but I'm going to give you 2 recs: an angsty multichapter and a fluffy oneshot.

Fluffy Oneshot: A Thrill Divine, Down My Spine — T. 2.3k. This was something I put together rather quickly, but was gripped by the idea and the vibes of a song. I had so much fun writing a no-Voldemort AU Friends-to-Lovers Jily. I let them really just have fun with each other, and I really think that bubbled up to the writing. This continues to be one of my favorite little fics I've written.

Angsty Multichapter: i'll be fine, i'll be good — M. 6 Chapters. 63k. Conversely to the above, this is the fic that's taken me the LONGEST to write, so far. The idea of a Slytherin Lily who is still so recognizable as the Lily we know from canon, and how her sorting affects her relationships and life, is so compelling to me. It's probably the fic that means the most to me—I feel so much for this Lily and am so proud of her growth and how she takes control of her life.

Thank you for this ask, it was a fun one!

[graceisprobablyonline]

Complete Fanfic list

Helloooooo! This post will be updated as more fics are written. I swear that I will eventually write something original / not hellaverse, but uh, for now... enjoy!

I’m Huskerdustbrainrot on Ao3!

Drinking Buddies - (12.k words, complete)

"Angel’s drink was being poured for him the moment he set foot through the door."

This is my first fic! A bit rough around the edges but it will always hold a special place in my heart because it's the first time I tried to write anything longer than just a couple pages. A cute Huskerdust get-together story that kind of lost the plot towards the end. (Whoops)

Something that I've been dying to day - (4.5K words, complete)

"The nightmare always ended here, but this time she wasn’t waking up.”

My Chaggie get-together fic, I feel like it could be better HOWEVER this is the first fic I had beta read and I really tried w this one (I adore my beta readers so much omg Blue Fizz and Maddie if you're seeing this ily)

Pride and Pentious - (5.2K words, complete)

"The parade was Charlie’s idea. Of fucking course, it was her idea. Who else would host a party in hell when they had nothing to gain from it?"

A fun little fanfic about the meaning of pride with the hazbin hotel crew! Each chapter is like a mini character study and I had so much fun with it

Who I was with you - (17.5K words, Complete)

"How many times can you fall in love with the same person?"

I loved the idea of writing a fake dating scenario, for Chaggie but I thought having them break up and then fake date would be interesting. It was indeed... interesting! This is my longest fic so far, and I learned a lot writing it!

Of all the imps in hell... - (1.7K words, Complete)

"In short - she was the best candidate they were gonna get."

A small fic about Moxxie and Millie and how they met! I thought that it would be cute to write them having a workplace rivalry. Did I yet again rush the ending bc I got bored? Uhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhh 🤫

The path to redemption - (3.4K words, WIP)

"Freedom was strange.  Angel was just waiting for the illusion to shatter."

My current WIP about Angel and Husk adjusting to being free and dating / all the messiness that trauma can cause

The owl café - (606 words - WIP)

“You were thinking about Amity again, weren’t you?”

My aim for this was simply the fluffiest cheesiest coffee shop au I could manage so of course I had to make it my first Lumity fic!

I also have some angsty hellaverse oneshots from my fanfic war with my friend Fizz / and a whumptober series that spans multiple fandoms like falsettos, gravity falls, owl house ect

Thank you! :D

[saelterlude]

I've been working on this fic for weeks! You don't understand how excited I am to post this

Time In A Tin Can

Summary: Twelve years ago, back in middle school, Mao Weijia and her two friends, Guo Xiaolu and Liu Sanjie, went on a camping trip. Together, the three of made a time capsule and buried it somewhere in the middle of the forest. Now she needs said time capsule back. Hopefully this photo hopping sorcerer can locate it, she'll even pay extra to get it retrieved. Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi are excited they're essentially getting paid to go camping, and Lu Guang is just along for the ride.

It's a Link Click camping fic! This is by far the longest oneshot I've written and I'm so proud of it. (12k lol, I thought it would be a 3k)

The base concept for this is a case fic where both Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang have to work simultaneously in the past and present. My first idea was darker, a missing journalist case, but I decided to go with a lighter treasure hunting case instead. And I'm glad I did that, because this ended up being what I like to think as the perfect balance of hurt/comfort.

Anyway! I would appreciate if you give it a read, thanks!

[wawamouse]

Fanfic ask game but I answer all the questions on my own because I can and I want to lol (and you can too 😌)

What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today? My first fanfic was a Harry Potter fanfic I wrote in 3rd grade from the POV of James Potter going to Hogwarts (I had read books 1-6 in 2nd grade). I thought I was a genius for this because I had no idea fanfic was already a real thing.

What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come? My most recent fic was "Riptide", answered for a kiss prompt. I've come very far! I wrote a bit of fanfic throughout high school years ago but didn't get heavy back into it until 4 years ago, during the height of the pandemic.

In your opinion, what’s your best fic? Honestly can't judge this. I have my most kudosed fic, but it definitely isn't my best. I think I would have pick one of my shorter Miguel/Chico fics, or else one of my longer rongzhi fics.

In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic? It would have to be one of my HxH fics. I wrote a series for it in high school or college (idr). The show had seen a resurgence in popularity at the time, I think, because it was around when the remake anime was released on Netflix. I think it must be "We Who Have the Souls" that is my most kudosed fic.

Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that? Off the top of my head: "For Nothing Tender About it" (MiguelChico), "At Rise" (M/C), "Exit Wound" (Sui Zhou/Wan Tong), and "A Dying Eye" (Ding Rong/Wang Zhi)... I've been re-reading a lot of my shorter fics lately. I really like "Alibi" lately...

Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that? Probably if I reread one of the ones I orphaned or one of the ones I wrote in my early days which only exists on a thumb drive now lol.

What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)? "The Nineteenth Year of Chenghua". Zombie apocalypse fic. Someday….

What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)? Out of Nowhere, I guess. But I don't remember anything to finish it. Next oldest is The Nineteenth Year of Chenghua.

Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material? No.

Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it? Yeah, The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty (I started the tag), Hamlet (wrote fanfic for a class), Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead. I also think I wrote Need For Speed (movie) fanfic before there were any other fics to read, but I might be wrong about that.

Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting? I don't think so? Not if 'concept' means 'same plot premise'. Yeah, no, I don't think so. There are some stories where something necessarily has to be written to cross canon point A to B to get to where you want to be in the fanfic, but… no? Maybe "Collision Course"? I wrote the in the car talking concept originally as what was going to be a remix of @/merelyafigment's tumblr snippet.

Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why? I write really trashy smut and wattpad level indulgence in my notes app as a fun activity before bed sometimes. But those are never really meant to be published, though they're there for me to steal bits and pieces from for actual fics. Actually, a good chunk of "For Nothing Tender About It" and "Countdown" and probably smaller portions of some other fics I'm forgetting came from that notes app. Sometimes I'll read back stuff and be like "hey, that's actually not that bad" and polish it up, chop off the trashier bits, and then turn it into a oneshot.

What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today? I'm a better writer? Lol. Idk, punctuation, probably. I used to write X-men fic exclusively (the comics) so I had a horrible habit of writing out accents (think Gambit, Rogue, Wolverine, etc). I've shaken off a lot of that style, though I still like capturing some of a character's voice.

What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today? I don't think I had much taste in the past… There was a point where I was very undiscerning about what I read.

Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular? No, I don't think like that. For the longest time, I didn't engage in fandom or actually make friends in the fandom. I just posted stuff and if someone read it, nice. I was more free 😂

Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention? I have a fanfic for a ship I am the sole writer of that has exactly 2 kudos.

In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic? One of my most kudosed fic (496 wtf, just checked) is a Glenn/Daryl fic for the Walking Dead. It's not particularly good. But the fandom is big, I guess, so even rarepairs thrive there.

What’s your most underrated fic? I would point to any number of my Miguel/Chico fics, except that all eyes looking for that pair at a given time have likely already read the fic, so it wouldn't really be correct to call any of them underrated. Underrated, maybe, in the sense of wOULD You LiKE tO TaLk AboUt IT PerHAPS?! MaY I wOrd VoMIT AbouT It?? HeLLo?

If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick? What a funny question…

Well. He could feel quite senseless sometimes. Idle-minded, it had been said of him; and if not idle-minded, then fixating on idle pleasures. That was all it was.

—Surpassing Corridors

Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down? No way. That's too much work. I just make changes directly into the fic lol.

If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs? I'll often go to their profile and see what other fics they're into or what fandoms they've written for, if they have. If they write a fic later for the pairing, I'll make sure to read their fic and comment.

Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed? I have a mutual who me and a friend always refer to as "AO3 User [Full URL]" because her fanfic was amazing. Even to this day, I don't like to bother her too much 😂

What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten? There's a couple of people who've read my fics or have gotten friends to read my fics despite not being in the fandom, and I really treasure that. Of course the long comments are always the best :D <3 But I also really like short comments, and this one was really touching (commented on a (sort of) vampire AU I wrote): "What a great premise - totally unexpected (which after 25 years of fic, hard to find) and beautifully written."

What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it? Someone flamed me on an Xmen fic I wrote years ago on ff.net, criticising the plot and my grammar. I didn't really care, though; my response upon reading it was like "Dude I am literally 12 years old" LOL.

What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review? Never gotten any reviews like this, except maybe the one I mentioned above. I don't think I get enough comments to have seen the breadth of the type of negative reviews people leave.

What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised? Uhhh… When there was a nice thing in the plot or the dialogue and people say Wow or when they say they could imagine the character saying it or something… (< imagine I said that in a weird low voice like Eeyore)

If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick? Single fandom fics. I'm really picky about crossovers and don't read them often.

if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick? I'm gonna say Oz because that's my current interest right now LOL.

Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy? I don't know what this means. No? I've written nearly 60 fics for both TSOMD and Oz for pairings that don't have that many fics to read if you subtract my contribution lol. There's some fandoms I've read an enormous amount of fic for (especially in the past) that I've never written for, too.

Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one? I'll still write for the past fandom when inspiration strikes, but I have a small brain so I forget plot stuff and can't capture the tone as well, I feel like.

Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right? Can't say. A character I've never written, probably. I'm delusional in a way so I feel like all my characterisations are valid, even if on the surface, I wring my hands and go "sorry for the OOCness!" Also, once I get into the groove of writing a certain character, it comes easier. But I guess there are still moments where I freak out and think I've not been writing them properly. I still think I write Miguel as too nice or something.

Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying? Omar White…?

Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up? Hmm. Hm… Sister Peter Marie, maybe? Got her in some unpublished wips as well as "In the Blink of an Eye". She's useful as a therapist character lol.

Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way? Nope. I don't have stats like that.

Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to? No? I've added ships into wips as they've gone along and things developed. Is that the question? Then yes, I guess.

Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic? I wrote a fanfic for a ship that I don't really like for a fic donation drive event, if that counts. Oh wait, yeah, I've written two other ships I don't like into fics before. For the angst.

Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic? Only if it's in character for a character to shit on another one. I don't insert my meta author opinion like that, though. Kind of tasteless as well as pointless.

Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why? I don't think so? I don't assume anything about potential readers like that.

Do you consider yourself to have a readership? Yeah, in a sense. It's easier to identify the repeat readers when there's only like 5 of them, plus guests. I don't really consider all of you guys readership tho because I feel like that implies some kind of interaction between author and audience.

Do you feel like you put out enough content? 🤣🤣🤣 I probably put out TOO much content. "Readership", as they say, has dwindled. But by god, I'm still going.

If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site? I sometimes post to Tumblr (ask memes) or Dreamwidth (community prompts) but I prefer AO3, especially because for the rare comment that I do get, I can find it again easily. I don't really like posting fic directly to Tumblr because if someone comments on it the fic or post or whatever, I can't find it easily. And I have a really really bad memory 😭 I like things in one place.

How many views has your most popular fic gotten? Highest hit count is 12,026 hits on "We Who Have the Souls," which is my top kudosed fic (751).

Your least popular? My fic with the least kudos, "Prey Animal" (2), has 47 hits, but my fic with the lowest hits is tied between "Movie Time" and "Sore Spot" with 10 hits.

Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received? Yeah, I've been trying to leave kudos/comments on every story I've read since like two years ago? Sometimes if I really have no energy, I don't comment, but then I feel guilty. I'm only subscribed to one fic, though, and I'm not super into bookmarking.

If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself? I wanna say Action/Adventure, but the more accurate would be that broader genre, Drama.

Do you consider yourself a diverse author? Idk what this means. I'm a gay chinese dude, is that what this is asking? lol

If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? I would give them my Hamlet or RAGAD fics bc they are the most respectable ones by virtue of proximity to Shakespeare lol.

Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too? My IRL friends from high school (now internet friends :') ) and my sister. No to HS friends (not anymore, anyway). And my sister isn't in fandom.

Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it? :D Yes <3

Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive? Yes and yes. I think fanfic has made me a better writer. I've made friends through fanfiction, and it's pretty much the only think in my life, besides other fandom creating, that keeps me creative and not wanting to slam my head into a wall <3

[can-of-pringles]

Talk Shop Tuesday: How do you decide on the length of your stories? How do you know whether something will be a oneshot or a multi-chapter piece - or when you do a oneshot series rather than multiple chapters of the same fic? Do you have a method for outlining your longfics or choosing which scenes will go in each chapter?

What's the shortest piece you've ever written - do you like the length of it? How about the longest piece you've ever written - same question? How much do you think about word count as you write?

(I know that's a lot of questions, feel free to skip over whatever you don't want to answer, I just wanted to give you something to focus on for a bit)

Thank you so much for sending this bestie I really appreciate it

Talk Shop Tuesday

I usually try to aim for at least 1k words. If more, then that's great obviously. I've learned not to pressure myself into writing a strict certain amount and just try to let my writing flow naturally.

I typically prefer one-shots over multiple chapters, but if I'm coming up with a more obvious overarching plot/clear cut story, then I stick to multiple chapters. Another thing is if I'm rewriting an existing media then those tend to be chaptered.

This is not to say that majority of my one-shots don't have a clear story or anything, they are more like loosely connected chapters so to speak, or maybe peeks into a big story is more correct to say. I feel less constricted when working with one-shots if I change my mind on something related to the plot. If there's an outdated one-shot it's not as big as a deal since I can either delete it or rewrite it. Whereas with a multi chapter, it feels harder to go back and change things.

I don't really tend to outline my work, though lately I've been big into spreadsheets and making timelines. Most of my stuff is now categorized by months and years, and I can decide what happens in a certain month which gets turned into a chapter or new one-shot/fic.

I feel like word count was answered above. I try not to think too much about word count as I write because I don't want it to discourage me. Sometimes I do check rarely if I've been working on a single fic for a while and it feels like it's getting long

Looks like the shortest thing I've written was Low which is 192 words. I wrote it when I was having a low (shocker /j) and was coping by writing about Peter dealing with low bloodsugar and Marigold helping him feel better I think. I think it's fine, it's certainly not my best but it only really exists as a coping fic, ( ironic when the actual fic is fairly fluffy from what I remember?)

And the longest I've written so far is When I'm Alone with You which is currently at 31,476 words. I'm honestly pretty happy and proud of myself that it's gotten that far, with still a lot more planned!

[dykebeatles]

for the writing tag game! thank you @revollver and @menlove for tagging meeee!

how many works do you have on ao3?

five that are still up, i have another 5 that i orphaned and i miss them. i was cringe and not yet free </3

what’s your total word count?

43,804

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

everything orphaned has higher than what i've published so! going off what's still up!

a summer wasting

just to make me misbehave

inflexible components

revolution by numbers

tiger eyelashes, summer wine

do you respond to comments? why/why not?

yeah! as far as i know i've replied to everything that's still on my account. i just love to hear what people have to say because i'm a glutton for praise and. uhhh. yeah just love to discuss what people think!

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i wrote a teeny tiny jegulus drabble thing that was canon compliant all about grief and memory through little vignettes

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

a summer wasting! that fic makes me :D first times and feelings yay!

do you write crossovers?

nope. they're just not my sorta thing

have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that i'm aware of!

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes <3 i think it's just as important for character exploration as conversations are, people have sex just like they talk and write and play music and whatever else. that, and i think it's fun

have you ever had a fic translated?

no! always open to it though!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

also no, although there are beautiful things in the works with @menlove that will see the light of day at some point in the future

what's your all-time favourite ship?

ooooh okay. it's between enjoltaire, mclennon, or wolfstar. actually maybe also stucky. the orphaned works i have are stucky, steddie, and jegulus but those last two were very much passing phases.

what's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

genderbent riotgrrrl adjacent mclennon thing. maybe.....maybe....

what are your writing strengths?

i think i write realistic dialogue, i'm almost always having the conversations out loud that i'm writing lol

what are your writing weaknesses?

hmm i think i pace things a little funny sometimes or things are phrased slightly clunky. that and i'm forever making punctuation errors.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

probably wouldn't do it if i didnt have someone who could check it for me but i'm not against it in the future! if it was for a reason

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

if we're not counting the anime fics i wrote on wattpad age 13 (and i'm not) then it was marvel/stucky!

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i want to go back to les mis at some point and write that. also more beatles ships that i've just had vague ideas about, there lives a john/paul/maggie paris fic somewhere in my brain.

what's your favourite fic you've written?

a summer wasting once again, the longest fic i've written, even though she's comparatively little i'm such a oneshot person so was proud of that! i loved writing john and the response to it was so delightful also!

tagging @scurator @wronglennon @planetaire sorry if you've already done this! and anyone else who wants to!

[tamras-shieldmaiden]

I saw this ask game circulating around the Tumblersphere, and I don't remember having done a fic writing recap before, so here's my take for 2023:

2023 Year-End Fic Round Up

Words written (published or not, WIPs totally count too!): 

Total published word count for this year is 38,706. Hadn’t I been sick, which derailed my flow and hit me with a writer's block, I think it might've written more, but I'm still satisfied with my output. I'm not a prolific writer but I'm still proud of what I was able to publish in 2023.

Smut scenes written (if applicable): 

Two, with a oneshot written specifically for one of them (cough mirror cough).

New things I tried: 

I embarked on a spanking brand new ship. Although I've always said I didn't like shipping Kuvira with any of the Beifongs (and yes, that includes the canon one), after a series of insightful conversations with @redcatmusings, with some nice persuasion I ended up changing my mind about Lin/Kuvira and well, here we are with 4 Linvira fics published so far. 😅

Fic I spent the most time on: 

The fic I spent most time on last year was Masquerade, since it was the longest with 6 chapters. It had been a while since I wrote an action heavy chapter, so chapter 5's car chase scene took me a while to figure out, but I believe that in the end, the effort paid off.

Fic I spent the least time on: 

That would be Melody of our hearts. The process felt almost like a stream of consciousness, from choosing 2nd person POV as narrative devise to the writing itself which I wrapped up in a day. Even coming up with title was a breeze, something that's unusual for me because I tend to agonize over coming up with titles.

Favourite thing I wrote: 

I'm torn between Masquerade and Seeking Harmony. Masquerade was an absolute blast to write. I loved Asami and Kuvira's rapport throughout the story and building up the tension between the leads amidst the suspense of the investigation was tons of fun to write as it was to read.

Seeking Harmony is the opposite because it's a short, soft introspective oneshot, and that's precisely what I liked so much about it because I was able to weave in some atmospheric elements to emphasize the calm and soft mood of the story. And besides, depicting a vulnerable Kuvira with a supportive Korra is always a win in my book.

Favourite thing I read: 

This one is not easy because one advantage of participating on Fanfiction Exchanges is that you get to be exposed to a variety of fandoms and talented authors outside of one's prefered fandoms that otherwise one wouldn't read, and I've read some amazing stories that at moments they've made me doubt of my skills because they were so damned good! I was skeptical at first of the concept but it is a great experience that I wholeheartedly recommend for both the quality writing and the amazing authors one gets to meet and admire and build friendships with.

Writing goals for next year:

I want to pick up on the Linvira fic I had originally planned for last year's ATLA Rare Pair Big Bang because that story is itching to be told. I also have a Kuvira/Asami WIP in the works set in the Bodyguard continuity, and maybe this will be the year which I finally get to complete my Kuvira redemption saga with the last story I've been cooking for years now.

Tagging @redcatmusings @rakaiawriter @roguegona @alpaca-clouds @udaberriwrites @diana-fortyseven @the-orion-scribe @orangepanic and anyone else who'd like to join in.