#i think they should both explode and die
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everybody gangsta until puck starts laughing during a tense moment then you know it's about to get UGLY
#he is UNWELL to say the least#i hate the bhaaltwins#i think they should both explode and die#&&. OUT OF BONES!☠ 𝐎𝐎𝐂。
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brrrba pa pa da de do ♩
#just me hi#i wanna work on my stuff..#i also need to figure out the vram on my computer because i will die without my viddy games..#//oo a cat has arrived#she likes to sit on my lap while i'm using it so i'm restricted to just writing or watching videos sometimes lol :)#//but yeah i wanna work on pi.e :1#i think i should have a reason for not doing it but i just don't have one lol#just can't i guess. hmm#//been very loud recently - i both need more and more music but also i need to just repeat the current recents until they're burnt into the#grooves of my brain hfhsh#can't make up my mind so i'm on autoplay rn :3#i like lesbian songs they're probably my favorite genre lmao <33#also that generic mall rock sound. i am in Love with those hgbfhs :D#//hm i also wanna start some shows#i'll get to it eventually :)#//oh i still need to learn to make chicken alfredo pasta#i have Got to do thattt#//and aside from generic mall rock sounds i like that 'vaguely sounds like it's coming from a tin can' sound hfhs#a very tinny + strained sound if you know what i mean#that and that solid soft smooth sound#i can't explain that one in any other way but it's like the concept of that high-end plastic they use for kids' toys but Fuzzy and Soft#//i think i also need to go to the lake lol#it's just that kinda time. send me to the wortor#one of my favorite spots because when you get real far out there nobody even bothers to swim out towards you hbfhsv#/i think moats should be more popular these days. because they're neat :3#//anywho i'm gonna devote the next 15 minutes to exchanging gifs with apollo again lmao#we did this the other day because i wouldn't stop sending cat exploding gifs. so now neither of us can stop hgbhfsbf#he just sent me zuckerberg i gotta go- Ciao !!
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at least jindosh knows how to entertain himself...??? i guess??
#tütensuppe#'empathy of a mantis' was not hyperbole clearly#o do want to try taking out the clockwork soldier but i assume i will die a few times before i manage it#ok genuinely i think hes massively fucked up but also hes a Funny Little Guy to me#this spot is usually reserved for the shitty women. huh#also! i managed to take the thing down without dying! first attempt!!!#you might want to get out of there when it explodes though. lmao#edit 2: strike from above should remove its head. then sneak away and its a sitting duck for you to take apart#i gave it a few attempts for funsies and one time a second one showed up! one is fine two is very much NOT holy shit#i can parry these guys more easily than regular guards too for some reason#OH I WONDER#if you have two. and manage to behead both of them so they go by audio only. then shoot one or whatever#will they attack each other??#i HAVE to try that i bet its funny
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This Means War
Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Synopsis: Peter and his crush on you feel threatened when your childhood best friend Harley Keener comes to visit and clearly harbors feelings for you
Masterlist
“Do you think I’d explode if I drank this?” You asked and swished around the insides of the beaker you were holding. Peter looked up at you through his lab goggled and chuckled.
“I don’t know. You should try it.”
“You say that now but you’d be so sad if I exploded.” You insisted. “You’d have no one to watch Over the Hedge with.”
“Wait, can we watch Over the Hedge tonight?” He pleaded. “I forgot about that movie. I love it so much.”
“I know you do. Which is why you’re gonna be sad and alone watching it tonight and thinking wow, I wish I didn’t let my best friend explode.” You shrugged and put the beaker down.
“Um, excuse you. I would never be best friends with a girl. You have cooties and go to Jupiter to get more stupider.”
“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong.” You chortled. “Because I actually went to college to get more knowledge. It’s boys who went to Jupiter to get more stupider.”
“But if I, as a boy, successfully figured out how to travel to Jupiter, wouldn’t that make me the smarter one? Since I cracked interplanetary travel?”
“I think you should drink this.” You said after a beat of silence and held the beaker up. Peter laughed and you did too. He snuck another glance at you as you combined the contents of two flasks and made a tiny explosion. You often accompanied him in the lab when he was at the Avengers tower despite not being much of a scientist yourself. You just liked to help and watch as he did his thing.
“Thanks for helping me, by the way.” Peter said. “I’m sure you have a million other things you’d rather be doing than helping me develop new kinds of web fluid.”
“I don’t mind.” You shrugged. “If you throw out the words “tornado web”, of course I’m gonna want to help you make that possible. Plus, I like spending time in the lab with you.”
“You do? Because so do I.” He said as a blush covered his face. You looked up from what you were working on and gave him a smile. Peter sucked in a sharp breath and cleared his throat.
“Um, so, I’m just gonna throw this out there and you can tell me how you feel.” Peter began. “I was wondering if maybe sometime you’d want to-“
“Where is she?” Peter was cut off by an unfamiliar voice booming through the lab. You immediately looked up and pulled your goggles down.
“Harley?” You asked, sending a twinge of jealousy down to Peter’s stomach.
“Who?” He asked you. His question was answered by a tall, sandy blonde guy walking into the lab. He wore an oversized corduroy jacket with patches on the elbows that made him look the kind of effortlessly cool Peter could only dream of looking.
“Harley!” You exclaimed and put your beaker down to run to him. Peter watched with furrowed eyebrows as you threw your arms around Harley’s neck and hugged him tightly. Harley wrapped both arms around you and lifted you off the ground as he spun around.
“There’s my girl. I missed you so much.” He said into your ear as he swayed back and forth with you in his arms.
“I missed you too.” You told him as you pulled out of the hug but stayed in his arms. Peter felt like he was about to pass out and maybe even die over the sight in front of him so he cleared his throat to remind you he was there.
“Hi. Sorry, your girl? Who is this guy?” Peter asked you through a forced laugh as he shit daggers at Harley.
“Oh, sorry. Peter, this is Harley Keener. He’s my dad’s friend.” You explained as you slid out of Harley’s embrace but kept an arm around his torso.
“Your dad’s friend? How old is he?” Peter asked.
“He is your age. Feel free to direct any of your questions at me, by the way.” Harley said sarcastically but playfully to Peter.
“Harley, this is Peter. My dad’s other young adult male friend.” You told Harley. Harley held out his hand and Peter shook it as hard as he could while never breaking eye contact with who he had now deemed his competition.
“Right. I’ve heard of you. You’re the one that can shrink down really small, right?” Harley asked while still shaking Peters hand. Peter narrowed his eyes at Harley when he registered the subtle shade and tightened his grip.
“No. That’s Antman. Peter is Spiderman.” You explained. Peter gave you a look that told you to stop talking since you had just revealed his identity.
“It’s okay. We can trust Harley. He’s known everyone’s secret alias’s from before the Avengers were even a thing. He’s not gonna tell anybody.” You assured Peter.
“Yeah, you can trust me. But sorry for the mix up. I just assumed you had shrunk yourself to be that short.” Harley smirked as he stopped shaking Peter’s hand.
“I’m not short.” Peter defended. “I’m the average height of a woman.”
“I bet you are.” Harley snorted. “You said it was Peter, right?”
“Yes. A man’s name. That makes one of us.” Peter mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.
“That’s weird. You’ve never mentioned him, Sands.” Harley said to you as he slung an arm over your shoulders. Peters jaw tightened as his eyes flickered between you and Harley.
“Sands?” Peter asked you.
“Oh, it’s an old nickname from when we were kids that he still insists on using for some reason.” You said and playfully rolled your eyes.
“How cute.” Peter scrunched his nose. “Who doesn’t love nicknames?”
“I’m guessing you do, Spiderman. How did you get your powers anyway? Did you fall into a giant tank of spiders or something?” Harley asked, making you laugh.
“No. No one has a giant tank of spiders just lying around uncovered. I got bitten. And then it got infected. And now I’m really sticky and sensitive to loud noises and don’t need glasses anymore.” Peter stated with zero amusement in his voice.
“Hm. I’m starting to see why you didn’t bring this guy up, Sands.” Harley whispered in your ear but Peter still heard. He gulped and felt his jealousy grow as you leaned into Harley to hear him better.
“I’m sorry, how did you say you two know each other?” Peter asked through another fake laugh.
“My dad befriended Harley when we were kids. He’s a family friend now. He and his mom come over for holidays and family dinner sometimes but I haven’t seen him in a while since his band went on tour.”
Peter fought the urge to laugh at him being in a band but didn’t when he remembered that you had a thing for band guys. He looked Harley up and down and had to admit that he was your type to a T.
“So you grew up together? Thats great. You must have a real sibling bond now after knowing each other all those years. And you know what they say about siblings.“
“And what do they say about siblings?” Harley asked him with an amused smile.
“Well I didn’t think I’d have to explain why incest is bad to you but I guess I don’t know how you do things down in…wherever you’re from.”
“I’m originally from Tennessee. And you’re right, we do have a special bond. Y/n was my best friend before her dad sent her to fancy private school and she got all pretty and made rich friends.” Harley teased and gave your shoulder a squeeze.
“Hey. We’re still friends.” You insisted.
“Best friends, though?” He asked skeptically. You laughed and looked at Peter, whose expression immediately made you drop your smile. You and Harley were not as close as you used to be and in his absence, you’d grown close to Peter. In that moment, you didn’t really know who you considered your best friend.
“Peter and I were actually just in the middle of making something. You can totally stick around and help but I know you’re not much of a science guy.” You said to change the subject.
“That’s okay. I’m gonna go say hi to your mom and catch up with you later, all right?” Harley asked as he placed a hand on each of your shoulders. He was so touchy with you and to make matters worse, you looked perfectly comfortable with it. Despite you and Peter being close, you were never the type of friends to show physical affection.
“Okay. Thanks for saying hi. We’ll talk later.” You replied.
“We will. Now come on. Bring it in.” Harley smiled and opened his arms to you. Your eyes flicked to Peter again who looked like someone had take his batteries out. You felt inexplicably guilty as you stepped into Harley’s arms for a hug.
“Missed you.” Harley hummed as he rubbed his hand in circles on your back.
“Missed you too.” You said as you stared into Peter’s eyes over Harley’s shoulder. Harley gave your arm a squeeze before leaving the lab, leaving you and Peter in awkward silence for a while.
“What?” You laughed nervously to break the silence.
“You really never mentioned me to him?” Peter asked quietly.
“I have. I definitely told him about the time you got your finger stuck in that park bench.”
“Okay, well that was really traumatic for me so thanks for bringing that up. I’m glad that’s the one thing worth mentioning about me.” Peter grumbled and went back to working on his web fluid.
“Peter, come on.” You groaned. “Don’t be mad at me. I talk about you all the time. He probably just didn’t remember because I usually call you “my friend” when I tell a story about you since he doesn’t know you.”
“Okay. That makes sense. But how come you never mentioned him to me? Did you know want me to know about this other guy best friend or something?”
“I have mentioned him. Remember I told you about the friend I used to play house with? But we’d always fight because we both wanted to be the dog?”
“He definitely looks the part of the dog.” Peter mumbled.
“Hey.” You laughed. “Be nice. He’s my friend.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just feeling a little weird that this whole time there was this guy you have whole history with and I didn’t know anything about him until today. I guess I just thought we knew everything about each other.” Peter said without looking you in the eyes.
“You’re right. It is weird. I guess I just never really thought about explicitly telling you about him. He’s just kinda been a passing figure in my stories from my childhood. But you know, you and I have deep history too. So deep that when you and I are together, I’m not thinking about other people I know. I’m only thinking about you and how God damn annoying you are when you ignore my ideas but then magically come up with the exact same one ten minutes later.”
“Because only men are allowed to have good ideas.” Peter laughed now that you had put some of his nerves to rest.
“You’re right. Sorry, sir. I forgot.” You said meekly, making Peter laugh. He was able to relax now that you talked it out but he was still curious.
“So, did you and Harry-“
“Harley.” You corrected.
“Yeah, whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “Did you guys ever date or anything?”
You were quiet for a minute which was exactly what Peter was afraid of. It looked like you were thinking of something, a memory that Peter didn’t have access to but desperately wished he did.
“No. We were only ever friends.” You said finally.
“But did you ever like him? Like, like like him?”
“Like like like?” You teased him.
“You’re avoiding the question.” Peter said without sharing in your laughter. You stopped smiling and shrugged a little.
“I don’t know. I’ve known him a really long time. So yeah, I’m sure there were a few times where I wondered if we were meant to be more than friends. But nothing ever happened between us.”
“Oh.” Peter said curtly and nodded his head. You snuck a glance at Peter but he was looking down so you couldn’t tell what his face was doing.
“Why do you ask?” You wondered.
“I’m just curious since I don’t know anything about the alleged childhood best friend of my young adult best friend.”
“Well don’t be. Because there’s nothing to know.”
“You’ve been friends with him since you were kids but there’s nothing to know? How boring is this guy?” Peter snorted and hoped you’d say he was the least interesting person you knew.
“He’s not boring. You remind me of him a lot, actually. You guys are very similar.”
“Does that mean you’ve ever wondered about us?” Peter asked before he could stop himself. You froze and looked up at Peter who was bright red under his goggles.
“Um…” You began. Before you had a chance to finish that thought, the contents of your beaker exploded and webs shot all over your section of the lab table. You jumped in surprise and Peter ran over to you to pull you away from the explosion. He kept you behind his back as he threw a towel over the smoking beaker to snuff it out.
“Maybe that’s enough lab work for the day.” You said as the smoke alarms began to blare. Peter covered his sensitive ears with his hands and you smiled apologetically before putting your hands on top of his to further block out the noise.
“I have, by the way. I have wondered about us.” You admitted as you looked into his eyes.
“What? What about pus?” Peter shouted over the noise. You smiled tightly and shook your head.
“Nothing. Let’s get out of here.”
A few days later, you and Peter were back in the lab to work on some things. Harley was still visiting, much to Peter’s dismay. But nevertheless, he was grateful to have alone time in the lab with you without any interruptions. That is, of course, until you were interrupted.
“Hey, you.” Harley greeted as he walked into the lab in water another oversized jacket that made him look like the love interest in an 80s movie.
“Hey, you.” You smiled in response while Peter discreetly rolled his eyes.
“Hello Peter.” Harley said with a tight smile.
“Hey, Harry.” Peter replied. Harley caught the intentional misnomer but didn’t say anything.
“Woah. Why does it smell like badussy in here?” Harley grimaced as he sniffed the air.
“Stop.” You groaned. “It does not.”
“What’s badussy?” Peter asked.
“Um, butt, dick and pussy. Obviously.” Harley replied as if Peter should have already known that.
“No. Not obviously. I only know what two thirds of those smell like, so.” Peter shrugged.
“You’re telling me you’ve never walked into a humid public bathroom and it smelled like straight up cooch in there?” You asked Peter.
“Um, no.” Peter stated. “I have not. Men’s public bathrooms usually smell like wide open ass. No notes of cooch.”
“He’s right.” Harley agreed. “Especially New York bathrooms. And there’s usually poop or blood or after birth smeared on the walls.”
Peter stifled a laugh and turned his head when he found it harder than he expected. Harley noticed Peter laughing and smirked.
“It’s okay. You can laugh at my jokes.” Harley told him.
“I wasn’t.” Peter lied and held in another laugh.
“You so were. You guys don’t have to sworn enemies, you know. You’re allowed to be friends.” You told them.
“No we can’t.” Harley shook his head.
“He’s right. Shockingly. We can’t.” Peter agreed.
“Why not? You’re like the helvetica and comic sans version of each other.”
“Who’s comic sans?” Peter asked at the same time Harley said, “I call helvetica.”
“See?” You laughed. “You guys are meant to be friends. So get off your high horses and French kiss each other already.”
“We are so not gonna French kiss.” Peter mumbled.
“Yeah. If I’m French kissing anyone in this room, it’s not gonna be him.” Harley replied. His sentence both flirted with you and took a dig at Peter, giving Harley the upper hand once again.
“She doesn’t want to French kiss anyone. She infamously thinks that’s the grossest form of kissing. I’m surprised you don’t know that. I thought you guys were best friends.” Peter tilted his head to the side just to piss Harley off. Harley took the bait and folded his lips in.
“I’m surprised too. When did she tell you that? Did she mention it while you guys were braiding each other’s hair and making foul smelling potions?” Harley asked and swished the contents of the beaker around.
“First of all, they’re not potions because we’re not Minecraft witches.” Peter snapped. “And secondly, we don’t braid each other’s hair. She gave me one braid one time when my barber actually left a long strand of hair and I wanted a tiny padawan braid.”
“You’re telling me this smoking beaker of green fluid isn’t a potion? What the hell even is this? Fuel for a fart gun?” Harley grimaced and put the beaker down. You laughed at Harley’s questions, sending white hot jealousy through Peter’s veins. He could feel you slipped through his fingers and falling right into Harley’s arms.
“No. Because I’m not a character from Despicable Me, it’s not fuel for a fart gun.” Peter replied and snatched the beaker.
“Then what is it? Don’t tell me you made a love potion to get her to fall for you. Because I hate to tell you this, but it’s not gonna work. No matter how many strands of her hair or fingernail clippings you threw in there.”
“Stop teasing him.” You warned. “It’s a not a love potion or a fart gun. We’re trying to make a web fluid that doubles as a stink bomb in case he needs to make a quick escape.”
“Ew. What the hell is web fluid? And where does it come out?” Harley grimaced and looked Peter up and down.
“For a dollar, I’ll show you.” Peter said with a wink.
“Web fluid is one of Peters many inventions. It helps him swing from building to building.” You explained.
“Oh yeah? Why do you have to make it in a lab? Shouldn’t Spiderman be able to produce his own webs?” Harley asked Peter.
“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you be in school or an AA meeting for skinny jeans or something?” Peter shot back, making you laugh.
“How would it be an AA meeting if it’s for skinny jeans? Wouldn’t that make is skinny jeans anonymous?” Harley pulled apart his joke, making Peter clench his jaw.
“Well I don’t attend the meetings so I’m not sure what they’re called.” Peter shrugged and looked away.
“Right, right. Hey, why don’t you tell him what you said about my skinny jeans?” Harley said to you.
“I said nothing.” You mumbled.
“Come on. Tell him what you said.” Harley laughed and poked your side. Peter watched the interaction and clenched his toes in his shoes.
“What did you say?” Peter asked you, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“I said I liked them because they remind me of the frat boy pictures of Harry and Niall from back in the day, okay? Specifically that picture with the yellow hat and white shirt. Is that what you all wanted to hear? Are you both happy now?”
Peter discreetly punched the table out of frustration because he knew exactly what photo you were talking about. He knew because you had shown it to him when teaching him out the epic high and lows of reading One Direction at a formative age.
“Well she once told me that my outfit reminded her of Alex’s hot Italian boyfriend from Wizards of Waverly Place.” Peter replied in an attempt to level the playing field.
“Dean Moriarty.” You gasped. “He was so fucking hot.”
“Oh yeah. I remember him. We used to watch that show together after school. In my living room. Sharing one blanket.” Harley recalled the memory while looking at Peter to see if that bothered him as much as he hoped.
“Okay well I see your one musty blanket and raise you the time she sat on my lap because there weren’t enough seats in the car. And her pony tail was in my mouth for the whole ride. Sounds like a really comfortable blanket, though. Congrats.”
“Oh my God.” You groaned. “Guys, stop. I can’t listen to you trying to one up each other with what you think are impressive things. I’m friends with both of you and that’s it. I’m not gonna be the yard stick in your dick measuring contest right now.”
“Yard stick?” Harley laughed. “Damn. What type of guys have you been dating?”
“Not you, obviously.” Peter mumbled.
“And why is that obvious?” Harley asked him.
“Because you’re wearing the Bella Hadid of skinny jeans right now and they don’t leave much to the imagination.” Peter shrugged. You shot him a look but he wasn’t backing down.
“I don’t even know what that means.” Harley snorted.
“It means your jeans are really tight, Keen.” You whispered to him. A smile tugged at Harley’s lips over the nickname and he took that as an opportunity to wrap his arm around your shoulders.
“Sorry. You know I’m not great with pop culture references. I’m more into the classics.”
“You literally just mentioned frat Harry and Niall but okay.” Peter mumbled under his breath.
“Stop fighting.” You warned. “This weird little competition you have going on it stupid and unnecessary. I want you guys to be friends. Then we can all hang out.”
“We can never be friends, Sands.” Harley told you.
“Yeah. That was the second time the broken clock was right.” Peter agreed. “Because he’s Gale and I’m Peeta. He’s Jacob and I’m Edward. He’s Jesse and I’m Jake. He’s Tom Hardy and I’m Chris Pine in that movie we watched where they’re both spies and fall in love with Reese Witherspoon.”
“This Means War.” You snapped your fingers when you remember the name of the movie he was talking about.
“Hold on. I’m pretty sure you made yourself the guy who gets the girl in all those examples.” Harley pointed out.
“And I’m pretty sure you 100% understand pop culture references so I’m not sure why you lied a minute ago.” Peter replied.
“If you’re gonna keep this up I’m leaving.” You told them.
“Fine. We’ll stop. But if you’re not too busy with this web stuff, I could use your help with a song.”
“You sing?” Peter sighed in defeat. He had hoped Harley was just the water boy or something for the band he was in.
“A little.” Harley shrugged.
“He’s being modest.” You insisted. “Harley has a great voice. And he plays the guitar. You should come with me the next time his band has a show. He’s the frontman.
“Jesus Christ. Of course he’s the frontman. Do you ride a motorcycle too?” Peter asked mockingly.
“Yes, actually.” Harley replied. He had Peter beat in the cool bad boy department and they both knew it.
“Did you bring it?” You gasped and squeezed Harley’s arm.
“I did. You want to take a ride and go get some food?” He asked you.
“Yeah. Sure.” You smiled excitedly.
“You’re leaving?” Peter huffed like a little kid.
“You should come.” You replied. “You haven’t eaten yet. And we can show Harley around the neighborhood.”
“No, thank you. I need to finish this. By myself.” Peter grumbled as he stared daggers at Harley. Harley just smirked and gave Peter a shrug that said “better luck next time”.
“While you straddle a guitar players bike.” Peter mumbled under his breath.
“What was that?” You asked him.
“I said I hope the weather stays nice.” Peter lied through an exaggerated smile.
Peter tried to stay busy in the lab for a while but he couldn’t stop thinking about what you and Harley were doing. Your conversation did little to ease his mind about your history with Harley so now all he could think of was the worst case scenario. The image of you getting whisked away on the back of Harley’s bike with your arms wrapped around his waist was playing in Peter’s mind no matter how hard he wanted to push it out. You were probably laughing at all his jokes and leaning into his side at some restaurant. To clear his head, Peter went for a walk to clear his head. When he came back, he heard the sound of a guitar coming from your bedroom. His curiosity got the better of him and he went to your room to see what was happening. When he pushed your door open, he saw you and Harley sitting on your bed while the played the guitar for you.
“Oh. Sorry. Sorry to myself that I had to hear that. Wait, what? Sorry, what did you guys say?” Peter played dumb and looked between the two of you.
“We didn’t say anything.” You laughed and knew exactly what he was doing.
“I was just playing Y/n the song I wrote for her.” Harley told him.
“You wrote her a song? Well isn’t that just peaches and cream?” Peter smiled tightly.
“Yeah. Would you like it hear it?” Harley smiled innocently and strummed a few chords.
“It’s really good.” You said. “It’s about our friendship and always being there for each other despite living in different places.”
“Sounds really magical and effervescent. Didn’t realize your cycles synced up.” Peter said quickly but you still caught what he said.
“What was that?” You asked him.
“I said I would love to hear it so bad.” Peter lied. Harley started to play the beginning of the song but slowly stopped playing and cleared his throat.
“What’s wrong, Keen?” You asked, making Peter roll his eyes.
“I’m feeling shy all the sudden.” He laughed shyly.
“Really? Because of me?” Peter asked. “I thought you’d be used to singing to men. Because that’s who I assume is your target audience giving all the pins on your guitar strap.”
“No. Because of you, actually.” He admitted to you. “I haven’t played you the second chorus yet. And it’s pretty vulnerable.”
“Well, let me hear it.”
“Yeah. Let’s hear it. Let’s all hear it.” Peter said to remind you both that he was there. Harley smiled timidly at you before starting to play the song again.
“Though we’re miles apart, you’re still in my heart. Fought with paper swords when we were kids. I wish we still did.“ He sang in a smooth voice that even Peter had to admit was good. You looked utterly in love and rested your chin on your knee as you listened to him sing to you.
“The ribbons in your hair, playing truth or dare. We grew up too soon. Cause now I miss you.” Harley continued singing and you covered your face with your hands to hide your smile. Peter couldn’t take it anymore and felt himself losing the urge to interject.
“Do you guys ever think about how mozzarella sticks-“
“Peter! Shh.” You hushed Peter and quickly returned your attention to Harley.
“Now I live in a different city. I saw online that you’re still pretty. I text and ask how you’ve been. You send back Checkers but never win. I wish things didn’t have to change. Like when you went to a school far away. You came home but we were never as we were. I love you now but I sometimes miss her.” Harley slowly stopped strumming the strings and looked at you with a shy smile. You gasped and clapped your hands for him while he blushed a deep red.
“Sorry. I know it’s cheesy.” He said. “It’s about missing how close we were when we were kids. I know we still talk but it’s not the same. We catch up every now and then but I miss when I knew about every thing about your day.”
“That’s really sweet, Keen. We should talk more. Because I miss our friendship too.” You said and squeezed his shoulder. Harley smiled and toyed with his guitar.
“Peter, what did you think of…” You trailed off when you realized Peter wasn’t there anymore. You immediately felt guilty because you weren’t sure when he left.
“Damn it.” You hissed. “I gotta go talk to him.”
“No. Let me.” Harley said and put his guitar down. He walked down the hallway until he found Peter’s room and knocked on the doorway.
“Hey.” Harley greeted. Peter looked up at him and rolled his eyes.
“If you’re here to sing to me-“
“I’m not. I want to talk to you.” Harley cut him off and went and sat on his bed. They sat in awkward silence for a moment as neither knew where to begin.
“You know, if you and I keep this rivalry up, we’re only going to hurt her.” Harley said after a minute.
“I know that.” Peter said quietly.
“Look, Peter, you seem like a nice guy. I can tell why she likes you. And she obviously really enjoys your friendship. But that’s all that’s ever gonna happen between you two. A friendship. Because I’ve been playing the long game.” Harley said earnestly. He wasn’t trying to be mean or hurt Peter, just being candid.
“So have I.” Peter told him.
“And how’s that going for you?” Harley asked with genuine curiosity.
“I’ll have you know I accidentally brushed against her boob once and she didn’t even bat an eye, so.” Peter shrugged like what he said mattered.
“Yeah?” Harley laughed. “We’ve kissed.”
Peters world came crashing down in that moment. He felt a hot rod of jealousy pierce his heart and cut him straight down the middle upon learning this.
“What?” He asked with a dry mouth.
“I was her first kiss. She didn’t tell you?”
“No. She never mentioned that.”
“Peter, I didn’t come in here to hurt you.” Harley began. “I just wanted to let you know what my intentions are. I came back to New York for her. I think it’s finally time she and I give it a go. And I think she feels it too. But I hope that you and I can put this aside and become friends. Because I genuinely think we’d get along.”
“If you and her start dating, there is no way we’re gonna be friends.” Peter said without making eye contact.
“Why not?” Harley asked, sounding a little hurt.
“Because I’m gonna kill myself.” Peter snapped, making Harley laugh in surprise. Peter couldn’t help but laugh too when he heard how ridiculous he sounded.
“I hope you don’t. Because she’d miss you. And I would too.” Harley told him. The boys looked at each other for a moment and ending up smiling. Peter felt his animosity towards Harley dissipate and realized they were just two boys who liked the same girl. And on top of that, Peter couldn’t blame him for liking you. How could he not?
“Please don’t.” Peter blurted.
“Don’t what?” Harley wondered.
“Don’t go for her. You’re so handsome. Like, in your face, Greys Anatomy doctor level handsome. You have the bike and the guitar and the floppy hair. You could go out and get any girl. I will even help you find one. But please, don’t go for her. Because I can’t compete with you. I can’t write her a song like that. I tried to write her a poem once but I was too scared to give it to her.” Peter said as he pulled out his notebook to show Harley his poem. Harley read over the poem a few times as his eyebrows knit together.
“You rhymed “go the movies” with “the shape of your boobies”. Two separate times but they’re completely different trains of thought. I’m not even sure how you did that. This stanza just says “perchance.” You can’t just say “perchance”. And this line is just a lyric from Pound the Alarm.”
“Do you see why I need you to back off?” Peter sighed and took the notebook back.
“You don’t think I feel the same way? I can’t compete with you either. You get her in a weird way that I never could. I see the way she laughs at your jokes. And relaxes around you. She and I have shared history but sometimes I wonder if we’re just rehashing the good memories and never making any new ones. If she and I met today, I don’t know if she’d like me. But you two formed an organic friendship. There’s no wondering whether or not she likes you or just likes the nostalgia. And I know she adores you. She tells me about you all the time. I know every story of every person you’ve ever saved. But she loves the regular side of you too. She once told me about this time you got your finger stuck in a park bench and she was laughing so hard during it that I didn’t even hear half the story. Her real laugh, too. The one where her head falls back and she kinda wheezes. I haven’t been able to make her laugh like that since we were kids.”
“Okay unfortunately you’re right and I actually do want to be friends with you.” Peter said after hearing Harley be vulnerable with him. Harley chuckled and Peter found himself laughing too.
“Let’s just promise that whoever she chooses, the other backs off and lets her be happy. She deserves that.” Harley said and Peter nodded in agreement.
“If it’s you, you better treat her right.” Peter told him.
“Or what? You’ll shoot me with your fart gun?” Harley joked.
“Yeah. Exactly.” Peter laughed.
“I’ll take care of her. You would too. I know that.” Harley said once their laughter died down.
“I’m glad you know. But I’m not worried. She knows where home is. Sooner or later, she’ll stop eating shrimps with the wimps and come eat lobster with the monster.” Peter shrugged and gestured to himself.
“I don’t even understand what that-“
“Me either.” Peter cut him off.
After their talk, Harley went back to your room and found you playing with his guitar. You looked up at him when he walked in and smiled.
“Hey.” He said and sat back down beside you.
“Hey. I think I still remember how to play Hey There Delilah on the guitar.” You told him and gave a bad attempt at playing the chords.
“Do you?” Harley asked skeptically and you laughed.
“I guess not. How’s Peter?” You asked and set the guitar down.
“He’s fine. I don’t think he liked my song, through.” Harley joked.
“It’s okay. I liked it.” You replied and gave him a fold smile. Harley smiled back and took your hand in his. You gulped at the contact because you felt something was coming.
“I really do miss you.” He told you.
“Miss you too, Keen. You should visit more.”
“I know. But you need to give me a really good excuse to come up here because I’m not a fan of the flight.”
“What kind of excuse?” You smiled nervously. To answer your question, Harley slipped a hand behind your head and started to pull you into a kiss. Before your lips could touch, you turned away and hung your head so that you didn’t have to see his face.
“I can’t.” You said quietly. Harley withdrew his hand and put them on his lap.
“Because of him?” He asked and you nodded your head. Harley laughed shortly and nodded as well.
“I get it. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. But I have to admit, I always thought you and I would just go for it one day.”
“So did I.” You admitted.
“So why can’t we just…” He trailed off and gestured between the two of you. You finally looked into his eyes and gave him an apologetic smile.
“Because I’d always wonder about him.” You answered. Harley smiled sadly but nodded in understanding.
“Can we still be friends?” He asked you.
“Are you kidding? Of course we can. This doesn’t haven’t to change anything.”
“Good. Because I don’t have anyone else to play IMessage games with.”
“I’m sending Checkers right now. And winning.” You said as you pulled out your phone.
“We’ll see.” He laughed.
Peter slept at home that night in fear of hearing the sounds of you and Harley consummating your new relationship. He put his earbuds in and listened to his sad boy tunes and cried until he fell asleep. He got up the next day with puffy eyes and got dressed to prepare himself in case you wanted to see him. Just as he was getting up to leave him bedroom, you appeared in his doorway. He jumped a little and sat back down on his bed.
“Hey. I thought I’d see you last night.” You said and folded your arms.
“Yeah, sorry. I needed to come home and clear my head.” He said without looking at you.
“Oh, okay. Is it anything you want to talk about?”
“Not particularly, no.” He replied. You have Peter a look up and down and let out an amused laugh.
“What?” He wondered.
“You’re wearing skinny jeans.” You pointed out with a cheeky smile.
“Psht. No.” He scoffed. “These are regular jeans.”
“Those are absolutely your skinny jeans from when we went as Kurt and Blaine for Halloween. And you didn’t gel your hair today. Oh my God. You’re trying to look like Harley.”
“I am not.” He lied but upon looking in the mirror, he realized he had definitely channeled Harley when getting dressed.
“You are. Which I don’t understand. I like your gelled hair and dorky t shirts. Why are you trying to be someone else?” You asked as you sat beside him on his bed.
“I don’t know.” He lied again because he couldn’t tell you that he was trying to look like the boy you liked.
“Harley said he talked to you yesterday after he played his song.” You said to change the subject.
“Yeah. We talked. He mentioned that you guys kissed.” Peter admitted without looking up at you.
“Yeah. We did.” You nodded. Peter clenched his eyes shut at you confirmed it and hung his head.
“I didn’t know that.” He said quietly.
“Because it was so awkward that I never tell anyone. We were like 11 or something and acting in a very poorly rehearsed summer camp rendition of Grease. I was Sandy and he was Danny. But my dad brought all his business man friends to come see me and I got so nervous I threw up during Hopelessly Devoted.”
“Oh.” Peter couldn’t help but smile now that he knew the kiss was nothing to worry about.
“Yeah. You feel stupid now, don’t you? You got all worked up over a peck between two 11 year olds.”You teased him and poked his aide.
“I may feel stupid but at least I wasn’t a theater kid.” He mumbled.
“Hey.” You said warningly and smacked his arm.
“Sorry.” He chuckled and rubbed his arm.
“So are we okay?” You asked him and turned to face him.
“I don’t know. Is your boyfriend gonna be okay with us staying friends?” Peter asked with a roll of his eyes.
“Well I don’t know either. Since I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“You don’t?” Peter asked as hope grew in his chest.
“Peter, I don’t like Harley like that.” You insisted. “I told you that.”
“I thought you were capping.” He shrugged.
“I wasn’t.” You chuckled. “He’s not the one I like.”
“So you do like someone? Who is he? Is he bigger than me?” Peter asked with his jealously coming back with full force.
“Oh my God. You’re honestly so annoying.” You groaned and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. Peter wasn’t expecting this so he froze for a moment before kissing you back. He’d been waiting a long time for this so he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you close and full enjoy the moment. When you pulled away, you both laughed shyly and rested your foreheads together.
“Was that just as friends or…” Peter trailed off and looked at you for answers.
“Uh huh. Yeah. That was a friendship kiss.” You replied sarcastically before pulling him back in.
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#peter parker x reader#peter parker jealous#peter parker fluff#harley keener x reader#peter parker imagine#peter parker angst#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker x stark!daughter#peter parker x stark!reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland fluff#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x y/n
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A Luke and Trouble smut in the car
a/n: she's back.... and with a trouble!verse smut gasp. anyways if you haven't read the series all you need to know is luke calls her trouble. if you do wanna check it out, read 'partners in crime' here!
luke castellan x fem!dionysus!reader
wc: 1.1k
“We’re gonna be late,” you grumble under your breath. The sun is setting on Long Island faster than you and your boyfriend thought it would with the old hatchback slowly inching through Queens traffic.
There’s only an hour left before curfew.
And Luke Castellan drives like someone’s blind grandpa.
“Relax, babe—once we get onto the expressway, we’ll be straight sailing from there!” Luke says, with a hint of a smile prodding at his cheek. You were never a patient person, fidgeting in the passenger seat next to him, sweaty thighs stuck to worn leather. The air vents are tired, sounding like gasping coughs, and every car in New York City seems to be inching forward and unable to pick up the breeze.
“You said that forty minutes ago.”
“C’mon, it’s not all that bad, trouble. We get to have some extra time together. And be alone,” his voice is as smooth as the rumbling engine, taking his fingertips to the soft of your thigh. You’d find him sweet if you didn’t feel like ripping all your clothes off right now. “You know how rare that is for us.”
“M’just so hot, babe. I feel like I’m fucking dying,” you groan, exaggeratedly flopping over the console and onto his shoulder. He doesn’t mind being stuck to you like this, wet skin and shiny lips nuzzling against his neck and he licks a drop of sweat from his cupid’s bow. Your gentle kisses sear onto his skin and he has to inhale deeply, almost eyeing the horizon and daring for it to darken slower. Foot tapping on the brake a little too harshly, the car is a toe away from rolling into the one in front of you.
“You’re not going to die. Would be lame if you did.”
“But baby, it’s like I’m about to explode,” you whine louder, “feels like we’re sitting on the surface of the sun!” Even at his wits’ end, your boyfriend can’t find the gall to get mad at you. Especially when your tank top flies into his lap, right over the growing bulge in his shorts that’s keeping him hot and bothered. Luke almost goes nonverbal at the goosebumps that rise—and you haven’t even touched him yet. You’re fumbling with something, knocking around in your seat as he shakes his head and tries to focus on the road.
“Don’t.”
The car behind you honks slightly and he swallows dryly, running his hand through the wet mop of curls as he rolls forward. Fuck New Jersey drivers, he thinks, this guy shouldn’t have gotten a license—what!
“You should’ve just let me drive,” your voice disrupts his inner monologue, and he doesn’t have to look at you to know you’re grinning, “Would’ve gotten there faster than you, speedster.”
You know exactly what you’re doing.
“We’re gonna be late.” Hand flexing over the gear shift, his eyes dart across the road, quickly mapping out a path to the next exit. Your panties fall over his fist, a flash of black lace and damp with something other than just sweat.
“Aren’t you a son of Hermes? Make it work.”
Horns honking like a symphony, he weaves through traffic almost dangerously fast and not being able to do anything else but bite his lip when he hears you laugh through the chaos of it all.
—
“Sh–Shit! We’re gonna…”
Luke’s the one laughing now as he slaps a hand over your throat, pistoning deeper into your warmth, and fuck, everything about you feels like fire. It’s the type of burn that licks at you from the inside out—but Luke tends to it with vigor, feeling you with every inch of his being. Your hands slap onto his wrist to hold him there, eyes rolling back into your head with wispy breaths of bliss.
It’s dark now, and you’ve both somewhat safely stopped the car in a wooded area—Luke ripping off the rest of your clothes and his own before taking you belly-up in the backseat and your calves sitting pretty against his shoulders.
“Be late? You weren’t worried about that earlier,” he teases.
The illegal fireworks and other illicit goods you’re trying to smuggle back to camp jostle in a box on the ground, digging painfully into his shins but he’s too busy stamping his hands into the shape of your breasts, rubbing you down with the mixture of both of your sweat that rolls with the momentum of your bodies.
“Fuck, Luke!”
Looking down at you with heat in his gaze, his thumb prods at your swollen lips, tapping lightly for you to open up. You do without a single complaint. He loves you, yes—even when you’re mouthy, but you look extra pretty when he gets to fuck you dumb and there’s no one around to bother you two. Grunting, you can feel and hear your skin slap against his when he leans forward to delve deeper if it’s even possible. All of you is red-hot from his passion, cock thrusting harshly so much that you can feel it slam against your insides.
For a moment you think he must hate you—dancing on the line of hot and hurt.
Your eyes lock and you both grin.
“Let me take care of it. Gonna let me take care of you, right pretty girl?” He spits, a straight shot into your waiting mouth and an inhuman noise crawls up from your caged throat.
Leaning up to kiss him and grappling at his shoulders, he smiles into your pout, smeared lipgloss and runny mascara transferring onto his tanned skin. He loves it, knowing that you’re all over him and feeling branded by you even in the dark of the night.
A light flashes in your peripherals and you pull off him with a gasp.
“Is that a car?”
“We’re fine,” he grits, locking your legs around his waist and trying to focus—you’re so soft and soaking all over. His hands slip to your ass, clapping your cheek as he jerks his cock into you harder, making you whine. “They’re not… going this direction. Stop getting distracted.”
The heat builds from your core, pussy pulsing, and tears almost sizzling off your cheeks, so shiny and tempting that he licks a trail up to your ear.
“I don’t want you to stop. Don’t… you dare, Luke. Fuck!”
Light filters through the darkness behind your eyelids as you grind yourself on his lap rapidly, chasing your high until the end. In a few hours from now, it’s back to business—but Luke has always been one to remind you of your mischievous side.
“Shit, trouble,” he sighs in bliss.
A blip of a siren goes off from outside, followed by quickly approaching footsteps towards your foggy windows.
“Shit,” you repeat back to him with wide eyes, untangling your legs and quickly trying to find your magic Zippo lighter through the mess of clothes at your feet.
—
Lessons were learned, and Connor and Travis were elected to go on supply runs from then on.
#luke castellan x reader#made by ma1dita ♥︎#trouble!verse#luke castellan smut#pjo x reader#percy jackon and the olympians
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/ orv novel spoilers until up to ch 468
Wherever one will be, the other will rush over to protect them
Ok.! Time to go insane about shin yoosung (I love Lee gilyoung too but I need to talk about shin yoosung otherwise I will explode.)
every so often at least thrice a week I think about how attached yoosung is to dokja it just turns my heart inside out. Like she really just started off thinking she was better off dead, and no one wanted her, and then han sooyoung shows up and threatens to kill her and she thinks "oh. I kind of deserve it." and what does dokja do? He protects and saves and nurtures her. Which is already very heartwarming right?
And then she learns about this future self of her from the 41st round, gets 41st sys' memories of pain and feeling neglected by 41yjh, literally everyone wants to kill her, and also her future self is this monstrous beast who's wreaking havoc, the man (yjh) whom her future self decides to stake thousands of years on wants to kill her as well, and future self has already killed herself like once. And so this is like a whole ass onion of layers that are reinforcing her mentality that she's unneeded and she should die and everyone wants her dead and the world is better off with her dead, right? And WHAT DOES DOKJA DO. WHAT DOES DOKJA DO. HE
1. Protects her immediately, putting himself between her and yjh's sword
2. "yoo Joonghyuk if you hurt her I won't forgive you"
3. Protects her future self (who has done terrible things and was also forsaken by the person she struggled so desperately to help)
4. Due to trust in dokja, this causes kimcom to all protect future sys as well without hesitation
5. Gets pissed on behalf of scenario enforcement upon 41sys and promptly uses a good chunk of his riches to beat up the dokkaebi
6. (sys isn't aware of this but I'll add it anyway) saves 41sys soul from the dead and reincarnates her into a baby which he raises with care
LIKE HE SAVES HER, SAVES HER AGAIN, SAVES HER FUTURE SELF, BRINGS HER FUTURE SELF BACK TO LIFE, LIKE I'm overwhelmed. Can you tell? He said "you are needed, I won't let you die" in like 20 different languages, and I just. I cannot even begin to fathom how much that meant to shin yoosung, she's so young yet she told dokja he could kill her, omg her and gilyoung r rlly besties for lifers because why are they both fucked up, please.
What am I even talking about it's almost 7am
#I'll add alt text when I wake up#Orv#Orv spoilers#orvfanart#omniscient reader fanart#omniscient readers viewpoint#omniscient reader#kim dokja#kdj#Shin yoosung#Lee gilyoung#Sys#Lgy#Biyoo#crit's art: orv
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Never looking at hands ever again, ugh, fingers should all explode. ANYWAYS: GET REDEEMED LOSER AU! @avisisisis keeps having epic, amazing ideas for my au, SO I FINALLY KNEW WHAT TO DRAW! Basic run down of the AU is this: Evil Mark (Wasp) trying to make Mark worse, while Mark tries making Wasp better. They both think that the other is the weakest version of themselves. They hate each other, they hate themselves, and cain instinct is set on truly homicidal levels of hostility. Everyone looks on in horror, confusion, plenty of concern, and slight, fleeting understanding.
EDIT, bonus song theme because I can: I am drowning. There is no sign of land. You are coming down with me. Hand in unlovable hand. And I hope you die. I hope we both die. (No Children by The Mountain Goats)
#the brainrotsreal's art tag ✧˖°:*♡#get redeemed loser au#they are so precious to me... wasp my beloved mark my beloved#i wanna say something rlly coherent in the tags but my brain is fried rn try tmrw (used all my power for this art and need to recharge)#invincible#invincible fanart#mark grayson#fanart#procreate art#invincible rotating in my mind#mark grayson fanart#invincible show#invincible series#invincible au#digital art#something about this show summons to draw like nothing before this makes me think of BACKGROUNDSSSSSSSS#U KNOW HOW RARE THAT IS
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✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦
Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-
-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.
-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.
-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.
-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.
-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.
-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*
-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.
-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!
-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.
-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.
-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!
-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.
-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.
-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!
-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.
-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.
-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*
-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-
-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!
-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.
-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.
-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.
-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.
-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?
-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.
-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!
-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3
-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!
-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!
-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!
-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!
-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!
#incorrect cod quotes#call of duty x y/n#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod x gn reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#captain john price#john price x reader#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#alejandro vargas#valeria el sin nombre garza#phillip graves#rodolfo rudy parra#rodolfo x reader#ghostsoap#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#konig x reader#konig call of duty#alejandro x rodolfo#kate laswell
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Cookies for Everyone!
--- cannibal chef m.list a/n at the end!
"Everyone! I got all of you something!" You excitedly bounded to them with a covered round tray in your hands.
Everyone turns to you curious as to what you're holding, except Vaggie, who narrows her eyes suspiciously at the tray crossing her arms.
"What's in the tray?" She asks, voice laced with hostility.
"Oh, Vaggie. I'm sure it's something harmless," Charlie tries to mediate with a smile.
"Harmless? From her?" Husk retorts with a snide grin. "I'd believe it when snakes and pigs fly."
Angel gasps hugging Fat Nuggets closely. While Sir Pentious does the same with an offended look hugging his eggbois.
"Too far, my bad."
You waved them off with a laugh, and said, "Oh, goodness no! I could never! I just wanted to give you guys a little something for inviting me to do stuff with you recently. I never had proper friends before, so I made you..."
You drag the suspense and slowly lift the cover making them hitch their breaths anticipating the worst.
What was it? Mutilated body parts? Teeth bracelets? Their stinkiest undergarments?!
You finally presented the gift with a proud look on your face, while their tense faces deflated in relief to see...
"Cookies?"
"PEOPLE SHAPED COOKIES! LOOK IT'S ALL OF US!" Charlie screams elated grabbing her cookie.
"I think those are called Gingerbread Men," Husk remarks at Charlie cynically making Vaggie glare at him.
"Woah! These look great, doll!" Angel complements inspecting the cookie with a smile.
"They also taste amazing!" Pentious adds, melting from the taste of your baking.
"Not gonna lie. I thought you'd give us eyes or nails of our loved ones," Vaggie confesses before eating a bite out of her cookie, "These aren't half bad."
You smile and reply with a shrug, "I'm crazy but I'm not a monster."
"I think we've already passed that, dear," Alastor notes appearing by your side.
"Sir Alastor! I wouldn't dare forget to make you some!" You said giving him a little bag of his own cookies, giving the rest their own goodie bags.
"Well, everyone. We'll be heading out. Can't be late for our reservation," Alastor announces cutting through everyone's conversation taking their attention.
"Reservation?" You ask tilting your head rather cutely, but Alastor would rather die than say that out loud, "I never arranged a reservation for you, Sir."
He grins holding your shoulder, and replies, "I made it for you, of course! Seems like you've already forgotten about your own birthday, sweetheart."
Your head explodes into a red color looking very embarrassed and excited, both at his endearment and plans for you. It made you feel very appreciated that he remembered something you've barely told anyone.
Your brain runs around in delusions. Thinking so far into the future where you'd live together with Alastor, sleeping in the same room being woken up by your pet cat and being a family.
"We can't be late. See you in a while, chums!" The radio demon bids goodbye holding your lovesick form in his arms in a princess carry while you short-circuited.
"Should we name our cat after you, sir? 💕"
---
saw this goin around while i was gone wtf, its oddly and scarily cute ew? /aff LMAO
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin angel dust#hazbin charlie#hazbin lucifer#hazbin husk#hazbin vaggie#alastor x reader#alastor#cursed cat alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor the radio demon#radio demon#alastor hazbin hotel#the radio demon#harleehazbinfic#harleehazbinfic art#cannibal chef reader
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Marvel Characters Confess You To Because They Think This is the End
Pairing: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wade Wilson, Remy LeBeau, Logan Howlett, Kurt Wagner, Kate Bishop, Peter Parker x Reader
Tags: angst, love confession, fear of death, cuddles, hand-holding, sudden kiss, hesitation, protectiveness, friends to lovers, pining
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: I will try to make these have a happy ending.
CONFESS AS SOON AS THE COUNTDOWN STARTS - Wade, Remy, Peter
If this is it then he'll tell you everything that he's been holding back for years. Might be a little lame that he waited all this time, until you're both gonna die to tell you, at least now you know his feelings. When the clock reaches zero and doesn't explode he feels very silly because he poured his heart out to you for 10 minutes thinking this was the end. In case you feel the same he could still take you on a date, or not, up to you.
KISS YOU AT THE LAST SECOND - Clint, Kurt
His eyes kept looking at the ticking time and then to your lips, debating silently if he should do it or not. As the last few seconds were left he couldn't hold back anymore, he grabbed you and kissed you. The kiss was salty with tears, not from fear but from his regret of not doing this sooner. It was very awkward for him when the bomb didn't go off and he felt you kissing him back instead.
HESITATE TO SAY ANYTHING BUT EVENTUALLY DO - Steve, Natasha, Kate
Wastes half the time walking back and forth, trying to come up with different plans to get out of the room. Since nothing is working sitting down next to you is the best place to die. A confession falls almost too quietly from their lips and they look into your eyes, looking for any sign of rejection. They're more scared of that than of death, they've had plenty of close calls with that, luckily not this time as not only were you rescued but you also returned their feelings.
ONLY HOLD YOUR HAND - Bucky, Logan
As he's never been the best at sharing his feelings and brute force doesn't work with this problem he opted to sit next to you and hold your hand. Might be a small comfort but he wants to do it, showing you he cares about you more than he could say. With your head on his shoulder you look at the countdown and wait in silence, cuddling up closer each minute. As soon as the door opens he moves away from you, embaressed that he had to be rescued like this.
#marvel x reader#mcu x reader#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#natasha romanoff x reader#clint barton x reader#wade wilson x reader#remy lebeau x reader#logan howlett x reader#kurt wagner x reader#kate bishop x reader#peter parker x reader#marvel imagine#mcu imagine#marvel headcanons#mcu headcanons#marvel angst#mcu angst#marvel x you#mcu x you#captain america x reader#winter soldier x reader#black widow x reader#hawkeye x reader#deadpool x reader#gambit x reader#nightcrawler x reader#wolverine x reader#spiderman x reader#x reader
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Twisted Wonderland boys with an S/O who's afraid of bugs (me too)
Did I literally just post 5 minutes ago? yes. am i posting again? yes. Stuff you should read: Bulleted HC's because i dont feel like writing an essay like i did with floyds tent hc, no beta we die like men, mention of multiple types of bugs Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Malleus Draconia, Trey Clover, Jamil Viper, Vil Schoenheit, Epel Felmier, Sebek Zigvolt, Floyd Leech
(can be read as platonic but i did write it with a romantic relationship in mind)
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
Leona literally came running into the room thinking you had died or smthn, but no. you were screaming, standing on his bed....all over a small cockroach.
Bro actually sighed. like, a super big sigh, one that youd only get from a dissapointed mother while he stomped on the bug.
"Seriously, Herbivore? You took care of multiple overblots, but a single cockroach gets you all worked up?"
hes grinning so hard. youd want to punch him with how hard hes grinning.
all hes thinking is about the amount he can tease you about this
but, yes. he does get rid of the bug.
unless he was sleeping. then he forces asks ruggie to do it nicely.
MALLEUS DRACONIA
implodes the bug.
im not kidding.
he literally goes full on oceangate on that bug and implodes it
you didnt even have time to properly freak out before the bug was wiped off the face of the earth
"tsunotarou what was that sound?"
"nothing light of my life" *hiding bug corpse*
"are you sure bc i thought i saw a bug"
"nope. no bugs here? should we buy some bug repellant to ease your mind?"
".....no its okay."
you knew he somehow killed the bug.
and it only made you love him even more than you already do.
TREY CLOVER
catches the bug for you and lets it outside.
unlike the first two, he tries his best not to kill the bug.
he pulls the "how would you feel if i stomp on you and kill you?"
"if you killed me while i was a bug i'd thank you"
"you'd be dead, [name]."
"....id thank you from the grave."
he just sighs and shakes his head
probably convinces riddle to let him put anti-bug measures around heartslaybul for you (it didnt take much convincing riddle hates bugs too)
JAMIL VIPER
screams with you
probably set ramshackle on fire more than once while visiting you
you both have to call kalim or adeuce to come exterminate the single cockroach on the ground
again, that one tik tok sound where its like
"YOU KILL THE BUG, YOURE THE MAN!"
"SINCE WHEN."
thats a daily interaction between the two of you
if it happened at scarabia, he'd stay at ramshackle for the next month
literally would abandon kalim (or if he really cant be trusted he'd just bring kalim with him to make sure he didn't cause any problems)
VIL SCHOENHIET
screams with you x2
isn't as dramatic as jamil, but he definitely freaks out about it too.
about the bugs? no. about the bug bites.
again, youd have to call someone to save the both of you so you dont pass tf out and die while he gets eaten alive by a fruit fly
wym fruit flies dont bite? you cant be too cautious.
somehow always has bug repellant with him in the warm seasons
hes prepared and will NOT get any bug bites
EPEL FELMIER
zero reaction, or has a positive one.
"what in tarnation do you mean you hate bugs?! they help with fertilizer blah blah blah blah blah blah (i dont know farming stuff)!"
you have to CONVINCE him to get rid of the bugs, but he'll eventually cave and do it just for you
if you ask him to put up anti-insect measures he'd look at you like youre crazy
"[name]. bugs are actually really good for our ecosystem. back at home we always had to take care of the bugs, or else our crops would die."
"shut up. please. ily, but i cant deal with these bugs."
"okay okay okay fine"
will reluctantly set them up
overall a 4/10 for bug measures he will do it just not unless you beg
SEBEK ZIGVOLT
yells.
not in fear, but in anger because how DARE such a miniscule thing try to terrify the people he cares about?!
doesnt explode it like malleus
but strikes it with lightning.
yk his dorm card groovy? thats what hes doing to a little centipede.
expects you to praise him for protecting you
sure, its a given that he would, but he would very much so appreciate your thanks, and maybe a head pat or smthn
give him one.
now.
FLOYD LEECH
like trey, he lets the bug free
sometimes.
other times he kills it and chases you with the corpse
or keeps it alive and chases you with the living bug
if you REALLYYYYYYYYYY dont like bugs, like straight up sobbing, freaking out, then he wont but otherwise? have fun bro
someone has to seperate you two when you see a bug, because he will do something
sometimes if he's feeling generous he wont do anything and you'll be like "tf? what did you do to be so nice?"
"cant i just be generous towards my shrimpy?"
"no."
".....yeah i almost grilled grim thinking he was food."
"you WHAT."
all of this because of a simple bug
oh to be young and in love ----------------------- m.list @mit0ee 's work, please do not steal!
#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar x reader#leona x reader#malleus draconia x reader#malleus x reader#trey clover x reader#trey x reader#jamil viper x reader#jamil x reader#vil shoenheit x reader#vil x reader#epel felmier x reader#epel x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#sebek x reader#floyd leech x reader#floyd x reader#no beta we die like men
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Hi! Sorry if this has been done before (in that case ignore lol), but can you plz do TFA or TFP Prime and Ratchet reacting to Gen Z slang? Tysm!
TFP Prime and Ratchet react to reader using Gen Z slang
oh man this was a joy to write. thank you for requesting and i hope that i don't come off as too cringe
Warnings: Small mention of alcohol (high-grade), human reader, sfw
Word count: 475
"Man, doesn't Megatron just give you the ick?"
The two oldest mechs of Team Prime pause their intellectual conversation and turn to you, both staring perplexedly at you.
Casually leaning against the rail with your head resting on a hand, you stare back at them with a shit-eating grin on your face.
"It's giving... delulu with a side of obsessed."
"I beg your pardon?" Ratchet tilts his helm at you. Optimus follows suit, raising an eyebrow at your sudden commentary.
"Kind of cringe if you think about it," Your smile only widens, "Like bro, it's been millions of years; give it a rest and take the L."
The two mechs glance at each other in silent telepathic communication, hoping that the other has even the slimmest idea of what those words mean. Ick? Cringe? Take the L?
The flabergasted look on their faces as they turn to look at you causes a supressed laugh to catch at your throat.
"What the frag does that mean?" Ratchet pinches his optic ridge, clearly annoyed that he's even choosing to entertain you, "Why should Megatron be handed a letter of the english alphabet?"
"I believe it is what the kids call..." Optimus flicks his optics over to your concerningly reddened face, "Humour."
You're so close to loosing the plot it's not even funny. If you we're to try and explain, you would surley keel over and die before even muttering a word. Keeping your swave and casual stance against the rail, you make eye contact with Optimus.
"Periodt." You let a titter slip your lips when you hear the loud, maniacle laugher of the kids from behind the couch.
You can almost hear the cogs turning in Optimus' processor as he looks to Ratchet for assistance, but the medic offers no help as he glares daggers at you from behind his pinched digits.
"You say 'Periodt', but what does that mean?!" Ratchet's bubbling annoyance explodes into frustration as he looks towards Primus for an answer.
"Oop, Ratchet is in his salty era."
"My WHAT?" Ratchet whips back to face you, and the look on his face is the final straw for you as you keel over and burst into a furious howl, almost whacking your head on the rail as you grip on for dear life.
Optimus watches as Ratchet throws his servos in the air in a wave of surrender and removes himself, presumably to cry over a glass of high grade while babbling about his disdain for the human race. The Prime turns to you with a slight ammused expression at your laughter.
"Would it be correct to say that Ratchet has also... taken the L?"
You die, you die right where you stand. The kids joining you as your body clatters against the rails to the ground and howl in fit of unrestrained belly laughter.
#transformers#transformers prime#tfp#tfp optimus#tfp ratchet#reader insert#tfp x reader#platonic#sfw#cyberrosewrites
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pre hotel battle and vaggie wants to round out her gf's stat blocks just a LITTLE bit more
Vaggie: “Okay sweetie, big battle for our lives and hotel coming up.”
Charlie: “Which we are going to WIN and NOT DIE in!”
Vaggie: “Right. First battle you’ve ever been in?”
Charlie: “Technically, yes.”
Vaggie: “Still not vibing with an actual weapon?”
Charlie: “They’re all so…. Pointy and mean looking…?”
Vaggie: “So we’re sticking with the shield plan for you.”
Charlie: “I drew up some designs for one! LOOK! WINGS!!!”
Vaggie: “Really, very cute babe, it’ll look great on you. Very cool thing for any murder angels to smack face first into.”
Charlie: “Thank you!”
Vaggie: “But I’ve been thinking… well no, I’ve been having nightmares-”
Charlie: “OH NO!!!”
Vaggie: “-and if you wanna help with that, maybe you could have, like, just one kinda attack thing?”
Charlie: “Oh.”
Vaggie: “One trick up your sleeve, Charlie. That’s all I’m asking.”
Charlie: “I… I guess… if you’re worried, then…”
Charlie: “…I could… try doing the demon thing… a little…?”
Vaggie: “No you hate that.”
Charlie: (HUGE SIGH) “Okay good! WHEW. So what’s the OTHER attack thing idea??”
Vaggie: “You do have a little of the carnival magic stuff, yeah? Like your dad?”
Charlie: “Oh I love that stuff! YES!”
Vaggie: “I was thinking maybe you could do fireworks.”
Charlie: “FUN!”
Vaggie: “And explode people with them.”
Charlie: “HORRIFYING!!!”
Vaggie: “I know. I know but- just a little, sweetie? For me?”
Charlie: “Explode them, Vaggie? Into, pieces!?”
Vaggie: “I’m picturing globs and chunks actually.”
Charlie: “Vaggie!”
Vaggie: “Sorry, look-” (takes gf’s hands)
Vaggie: “This is gonna be a real battle with a lot of stuff happening. Lots of people. Lots of yelling and people running around. We’re probably gonna get separated at some point-”
Charlie: “No. You’re staying right next to me.”
Vaggie: “Charlie I swear I’m gonna try to, but that's not how big mob fights work out.”
Charlie: “We can MAKE it work like that THIS time!”
Vaggie: “Listen. I really, really want to go into this knowing you’ve got something for crowd control, alright? If a dozen angels swoop down on you and I’m not right there, I wanna know you can give yourself enough breathing space to keep that shield between you and them.”
Charlie: “But- you WILL be there-”
Vaggie: “One hit. That’s all it takes. For me and for them both, and you- please.” (squeezes hands) “They want to kill you. And they can. And they’re gonna try to.”
Charlie: “….”
Charlie: “… I don’t want, to hurt people.”
Vaggie: “A shield to the face hurts.”
Charlie: “Okay fine- I don’t want to KILL people! Or even get close!”
Vaggie: “That’s fine, that’s the world we’re aiming for.”
Charlie: “But it’s not good enough right now though, is it.”
Vaggie: “… maybe it is.”
Charlie: “You just said…”
Vaggie: “Fuck what I said, you don’t need to detonate anyone for crowd control. You can do lights, right?”
Charlie: “Yes?”
Vaggie: “Bright and flashy ones?”
Charlie: “Obviously, those are the best kinds-”
Vaggie: “So try flashing people.”
Charlie: “Flashing?? Wh- IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE???”
Vaggie: “-blinding, blinding I meant blind them with flashing lights, get them to back off.”
Charlie: “Oh!”
Vaggie: “That a doable thing?”
Charlie: “Yes VERY doable! Like a really amazing sparkler!”
Vaggie: “And they wouldn’t be dead, they just wouldn’t be able to see enough to attack you.”
Charlie: “It wouldn’t even really HURT THEM even!”
Vaggie: “Sure. Unless they trip or fly into something.”
Charlie: “And you’d feel better???”
Vaggie: “Much, much better.”
Charlie: “Enough to sleep?”
Vaggie: “When you’re not keeping me up half the night with kisses, yeah. I think so.”
Charlie: “I’LL DO IT! I’ll practice weaponizing pretty sparkles!”
Vaggie: “Thanks, babe.”
Charlie: “What battle weapon-y things should I be practicing with them, in practice?”
Vaggie: “Uhhh make it a reflex, fine tune your aim…”
Charlie: “Fun!”
Vaggie: “Figuring out how to not blind everyone else too would be good.”
Charlie: “That’s a good point, hmm-”
Charlie: “-Ohhhhh I could make the lights SMALL. Very small, so they don’t do much on their own- then only someone who’s super close and I’m aiming for and who gets a face FULL of them would really be blinded!”
Vaggie: “You’re so smart.”
Charlie: “OH MY GOSH I COULD THROW GLITTER BOMBS!”
Vaggie: “That honestly sounds terrifying. I love it.”
Charlie: “HEHEHHEHEH.”
Charlie: (smooches her)
Charlie: “We’ll stay together in the fight so you can have front row seats to the light show, okay?”
Vaggie: "... we can try to..."
Charlie: "Will. We will stay together."
Vaggie: “… and, you’ll practice hard until then.”
Charlie: “I will!”
Vaggie: (lets out breath) “Then we’ll be okay. And also sparkly.”
Charlie: “Same thing~”
#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#vaggie#chaggie#incorrect quotes#local fighter be like “if the woman i love isn't gonna have a weapon in this fight then she NEEDS at least a few good cantrips”
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Cale with someone who has blood manipulation and can make their blood explode on command once it touches the enemy, but they have to cut themselves up first in order for the power to work. 💀😀
It's either they think it's super duper helpful or they become extremely concerned
Let It Run Through Your Veins (Not Out!)
tags: blood, both cale and reader are idiots, gender neutral reader
English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors
Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission
Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome
Requests are open and welcome
Buy Me Dessert
Navigation Masterlist
“You said you have an explosive ability right? Now’s a good time to show it off.”
Another day, another attack from one of many Cale’s enemies. The forces from the other side were more overwhelming than he thought. The young master had not expected the enemy to pull all the stops here.
Good thing his significant other said they discovered a new ability they can do.
Or was it?
“What the hell are you doing? I told you to help us not injure yourself.”
Cale stopped controlling his fiery rain for a moment to look at _____ cutting their arm.
“That’s what I’m doing just watch!”
“How the hell am I suppose to watch you doing something–”
He couldn’t help but stop in his tracks when he saw what happened.
_____ had manipulated their blood and flung it towards the enemy. As those red splotches hit the enemy they exploded on command.
“Human! _____’s power is amazing! It’s amazing but dangerous! They’re losing too much blood!”
Raon didn’t know if he was impressed or scared for the now blood manipulator's well-being.
“_____ stop already. I’ll handle it from here.”
“And overuse your ancient powers and faint? No way.”
“Then what do you want? For you to lose too much blood and die?”
At this point, the two are arguing with each other without regard to their enemy.
“Just what do you think you’re doing being distracted–”
Sizzle
Boom!
The arrogant enemy couldn’t even finish his sentence as Cale’s Fire of Destruction and _____’s blood manipulation rained down on him.
“See I can handle it just fine.”
“No, you can’t. You should see how pale you are right now.”
“You can’t talk Mr I-Look-Like-I’m-About-To-Faint”
Everyone around them just shook their heads at the arguing. To everyone else, the two look like they are about to faint and would probably stay unconscious for at least three days.
It doesn’t help that they haven’t stopped using their powers while arguing. No, in fact, they were arguing while swiftly taking out the enemy.
That was why the rest of the group decided to move faster and wrap things up as quickly as possible.
Or else those two might just faint for three weeks from overusing their powers.
Surprisingly they didn’t. The couple was pale and they were staggering at the end but they persevered and didn’t faint. However, they were both extremely hungry.
Hence why they are currently eating in Cale’s room. A delicious feast was laid out in front of them thanks to Beacrox’s hard work.
Cale and _____ were silent as they ate. No traces of them arguing could be seen. It was as if it didn’t even happen.
Well until Cale opened his mouth to speak.
“You’re going to be the death of me.”
#trash of the count's family#lout of the count’s family#tcf#lcf#cale henituse#lotcf#totcf#le asks#cale x reader#cale henituse x reader#tcf x reader#lcf x reader#lotcf x reader#totcf x reader#lout of the counts family x reader#trash of the counts family x reader#x gn reader#x reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader#manhwa x reader
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RagaPom fan kid when🥺?
Jk but I ADORE your art so much i might as well be called a believer of it 🙇♀️
Harlequin!Jesterdoll fankid - Anya!
I gotchu homie I should probably also clarify that the fankids aren't canon-
This is Anya, or Aanya Belle. She is Pomni and Ragatha's child, and is the second child puppet to ever grace the world. Quite possibly the most emotional one too, earning her the title "Little Sensitive Poppet". She's sweet and empathetic like Ragatha, but she doesn't have a temper. She instead inherited her harlequin mom's intense emotional reaction, but for other emotions. Her classification is a Mannequin.
She gets scared quite easily and ends up crying for hours, which made Jax give up a teddy bear he had been keeping near and dear to him. Aanya has been never seen without the teddy bear ever since.
Yes, to everyone's surprise, Jax is good with kids.
She has the largest sense of empathy out of anyone, a trait clearly inherited from Ragatha. So much so to the point that she's willing to abandon her "safety spot" (which is any furniture she can hide behind) and comfort you with her teddy bear if she so much as senses you're upset.
Her relationship with her half-brother was a little rocky at the start; Cade was overexcited over the idea of a new playmate (that wasn't Bubble) and kept wanting to bite her fingers off, and so had to be kept in his favorite box to calm him down, and make him get used to his new half-sister's presence. Soon enough, he learned to get along, and eventually, their sibling bond strengthened.
Cade would hug Anya if he notices that she's distressed (which is something that my irl baby brother does and I used it as inspo here) and would not hesitate to step in the big brother role to protect her if there's a threat.
He also attends her miniature tea parties, although for some reason he likes to stay in his box when the tea party commences. He never touches the teddy bear either, and even seems to want to avoid to touch it. Pomni thinks it's because he doesn't wanna end up ruining it.
When Cade turned six months, Ragatha started avoiding Caine, which made the puppetmaster confused. There were no more invites to tea parties, no more friendly talks, and no longer did Ragatha ask Caine if he had another vinyl she could listen to. All the more, Pomni looked extremely guilty everytime they would talk, and looked like she really wanted to tell Caine something.
Caine didn't prod at the girls' relationship, since he knows it's not exactly his concern/nor is it his business. But when one day that Pomni came rushing in to his office for help because Ragatha collapsed in pain, Caine wasted no time rushing to her aid.
Once all symptoms were described to him, he immediately managed to connect the dots that Ragatha's die was also housing two souls, and that it went on for so long, it was already starting to kill her off FOR GOOD. When the puppetmaster asked why she had kept it a secret, Ragatha admitted that she felt guilty; Cade was already in this world and that she had no right to have a child with Pomni, yet here it was.
Caine was immensely disappointed, but not because of the little soul's existence. Instead, he was upset that Ragatha would rather risk her very own life for something so non-trivial, and that the doll was freaking out over nothing. After an intense and dangerous procedure since the incomplete soul's grip onto Ragatha was stronger than Cade's was, Caine managed to extract and transfer the soul, but Ragatha remained unconscious for three moons because of the exertion it took.
He told Pomni to keep the die for now, and wait until Ragatha wakes up, so they can both decide whether they want to keep the little one or not. Pomni, guilt-ridden, questions why he's remained calm, and not exploded over the fact that she and Ragatha created a new existence without his permission, and Caine simply replies "Whoever told you that you both needed my blessing for it, needs their heads bashed in"
Eventually, Ragatha wakes up and apologizes to Caine for giving him so much trouble. The puppetmaster is quick to comfort the mannequin, and that he's relieved that Ragatha survived. He then reassures both Puppets that they didn't have to keep secrets like this from him out of shame, since their polyamory relationship was consensual from both parties in the first place. After a reconciliation, Caine asked the question: Will they keep the soul, or not?
They chose to keep it. And in only a few months thanks to Caine's prior knowledge, Anya was officially welcomed into the world.
#tadc#tadc au#harlequin au#tadc harlequin au#the amazing digital circus#ragapom fankid#pomni x ragatha#ragatha x pomni#I said I wanted to make a ragapom fankid AND NOW I'VE DONE IT#shaking and crying and sobbing all over again#I CAN'T TAKE THIS.... /pos#art#fankid#fanchild#fan character
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Lollipops and cigarettes
Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x reader
Content tags: established friends, slytherin!reader, no angst (i deserve a medal for this lmao)
Warning: mentions of drugs, suggestive content but no smut, just heavy foreplay
Prompt: "I know I signed up for this and all, but... if I die, it's still your fault and I will not hold back on blaming you." (source)
Summary: Mattheo thinks it‘s fun to explore the Forbidden Forest in the middle of the night
A/N: boy, the way I hop from one Riddle to another - i can fix him ykyk ok but these are shorter than other fics since theyre part of the prompt thingy I’m doing and I figured I should get started
Word count: 1.9k
You would kill him - you will kill him - if whatever is in here doesn’t kill you first and then you’ll kill yourself for letting him persuade you in the first place.
Mattheo disregarded many things, like his school work, attendance, relationships but you gotta leave it to him - he knew how to push your buttons and when he said he’d take Amara from the year below with him if you weren’t joining him, you snapped and agreed - looking at nothing but pitch blackness and the occasional rustle - that always scared the living shits out of you - you thought to yourself, he should’ve taken her.
You weren’t the type to get frightened easily but the eerie dread that filled you once you were so deep in you couldn’t even see Hogwarts anymore it was over and you almost jumped at every sound, your hand subconsciously reaching out for Mattheo only for him to give you the most shit-eating grin and tease your anxious behavior - Salazar knows why you like this idiot in the first place.
The unsteady path shaped by the trees seemed never ending and incredibly unnerving, even if you tried to see the end it was just pitch black.
“Come on, princess, ”, he pokes your side with his elbow and nudges his head forward, “who knows what’s waiting for us out there.”, he smirks and you scoff loudly and hit him, resulting in the leaves rustling in the trees and crows suddenly emerging with loud ‘craws’ and you almost shit yourself.
Subconsciously you hold on tighter to him to the point your chest touches his arm.
“I hate you, by Merlin’s beard, fuck you, Riddle.”, you whisper-shout into his ear; his head turns towards yours in a matter of a second, your face was already so close to his, your noses brushed together when he turned; you could feel his breath tingling on your lips.
Shivers ran down your spine - you were used to the tension that followed almost every interaction you had with Mattheo but this? This was on a different level - the both of you were alone in the woods, your body clinging to him and now you just had to move forward, not even two inches and you’d finally know how his lips taste - you bet like a mixture of lollipops and cigarettes.
He smirks and you could feel the ghost of his touch on your lips - you will breach the distance between you guys if he isn’t going to do it.
His hand reaches out for your hair and brushes a piece of it back behind your ear and you’re finally able to make out the shadows on his face, like his scar on his nose, or the scar on his right eyebrow, from the small light of the moonshine seeping through the branches of the tree and your breath hitches - he was smiling.
You knew you liked him and you knew how it felt to like someone but nothing could’ve prepared you for the way his smile accompanied by the soft glow of the moon on his face would make your insides explode; make you feel so warm - the former coldness of the forbidden forest long forgotten.
“Fuck me yourself, babe.”, he grins and the almost fairy tale-like illusion you just created in your head shattered - this is Mattheo fucking Riddle, by Salazar you still don’t know why you like him, of course he’d make a dirty jab at you.
You were about to roll your eyes and push him away but you had a better idea in your head; your hands reach for his jawline and you start to trace it, his small beard stubbles scratching your fingertips and you can see the way he gulps hard by his adams apple - his jaw clenched but a curious glint in his eyes - what are you doing? Your fingers start to trace the way down to his neck, followed by his collarbone towards his chest and abs until your fingers stop at his waistband; his eyes follow your touch in anticipation and curiosity but he hasn’t dared to utter a single word. You tug him closer towards you by his waistband and you reached up until your lips ghosted over his neck - right above the spot most girls would leave their hickeys on, you assumed it was his most sensitive spot; a few seconds later you make your way back to his ear, your lips graze his earlobe and you can hear his breath hitch and you smile: “Don’t mind if I do.”
He sucks in a deep breathe and gives you a warning glance: “Fuck, princess, unless you actually plan to follow up with that, don’t tease me like that.”
“Why not?”, you smile knowingly, Riddle might not be interested in romantic relationships but you knew the effect you could have on a man.
“I don’t think you want me to leave you alone right here because I have a hard business to take care of”, he glances down towards the dent on his crotch, your hand was still on his waistband and you let out a small giggle, “do you?”
“Let me take care of it, then?”, you give him your best doe eyes while your hands slowly pull on his waistband and you can almost see him come undone at the mere idea of you touching him - it made you feel powerful, hopeful and needy for him.
“Princess,”, his eyes darkened, he seemed to finally snap out of his trance and before you know it your back was pushed against a tree, Mattheo’s arms were wrapped around your waist and his forehead was leaning against yours, he was breathing heavily, as if he could barely contain himself - he looked at you like a starved prisoner, ready to finally devour you after he’s been denied for so long and god did it turn you on.
“Tell me off.”, he whispers against your lips, you start to wonder if you have to beg him to kiss you and you shake your head.
“Kiss me, Riddle.”
His lips immediately meet yours and you close your eyes leaning closer into him, wrapping your arms around his neck while he pulls you even closer by your waist. Earlier he looked like he could devour you and right now, he is, his one arm went up to your head and he started to slightly tug at your hair, not hard enough for it to hurt but hard enough to make your head go back and for you to let out an involuntary moan.
“Fuck, you’re so hot.”, he breathes against the outer corner of your mouth and starts leaving sloppy kisses there as well.
His hands roam around your entire body until they find the back of your thighs and he starts to knead them slowly and you let out a small gasp at the sudden sensation of his big hands around your thighs, you were growing hotter and hotter, you wanted - scratch that- you needed this man, the tension in your core only growing stronger.
He lifts you up by your thighs, his lips never leaving your body, it felt he like was trying to engrave this feeling into his mind, and leans you against the wall, your crotch is right against his, your needy core almost immediately starts to rub against his hardened member and you let out a whimper.
He gently bites you in the neck and licks your most sensitive spot and you moan out his name.
“Baby”, he groans, “moan my name again”, his hands meet your ass and he gives it a firm squeeze and you moan out his name once more.
Just when he started to take off his shirt an alarm went off and you opened your eyes hazily.
“Fuck”, Mattheo curses and immediately puts his sweatshirt back on.
You have to take a deep breath to get back from the high you just felt and you give Mattheo a concerned look and breathily say: “What’s wrong?”
“Theo texted, there’s an emergency and they’re gathering all the students in the great hall.”, he bites his lips and you can’t help but almost completely disregard what he’s currently saying and only want to feel his lips on yours again.
“You’re staring.”
“Can’t blame me.”
He chuckles: “Now, princess”, he grabs your hand and starts pulling you back to where you had come from, “we gotta hurry before we get into big trouble for sneaking out.”, he gives you one last glance, and the current situation finally seems to dawn onto you and you start to freak out.
“Salazar, fuck, Mattheo, we’re so going to get a whole year of detention if they catch us.”, you bite your lip, the anxiety finally overshadowing your horny mind and you both hurry back to Hogwarts.
Out of breath you finally are inside the castle, skillfully evading any teachers or prefects and you can’t help but curse at him, the anxiety taking over - what if you’re too late?
"I know I signed up for this and all, but... if I die, it's still your fault and I will not hold back on blaming you."
“Nobody is going to kill you.”, he chuckles.
You roll your eyes: “Clearly, you haven’t met my mother.”
“I’ll just swoon her off her feet, too.”, he smirks and you pretend to gag at him.
He checks his phone: “We’re fine, Theo says, they’re still gathering all the students.”
You sigh in relief: “Theo deserves the greatest head for warning us like this.”
He turns around to face you, almost as if you’re insane, like he can’t believe your audacity, his jaw clenched: “Do I need to remind you of who’s name you moaned 30 minutes ago?”
Your eyes narrow in confusion until you finally get it and you can’t help but smirk: “I meant a joint.”
“Oh.”, he looked dumbfounded.
“You jealous, baby?”
The both of you arrive at the Great Hall and before you can enter Mattheo grabs your arm and halts you from entering.
You stare at him confused and expectantly.
“This is more than just sex to me, princess.”, he looks at you, his eyes filled with so much vulnerability you soften at his words and your inside starts to fill with joy, you had hoped this is how it would be between you guys, even if you had been fine with just staying friends as well.
“I feel the same”, you smile at him and squeeze his hand.
He smiles back and you make your way into the Great Hall, the both of you skillfully and undetected make your way to your friends and stand next to them.
When they spot you they greet you with laughter and smiles, Theo winked at the both of you and all of you waited for the roll call, all while your hand never left Mattheos grasp.
“Y’know we’ll continue later, right?”, he whispers in your ear and when you turn around you’re met with his smug grin and the brightest shining eyes in the room and you smile feeling absolutely content and you can’t wait to taste the taste of lollipops and cigarettes again.
#x reader#fanfiction#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys#slytherin#harry potter#hp#hp fandom#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo x reader#benjamin wadsworth#theodore nott#theo nott#theo#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x reader#harry potter x reader#hp x reader#suggestive
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