#i think the usa mutuals i have are sleep right now but just in case

[al-mayriti]

i have to choose to which usa universities i should apply to cause i refuse to pay almost 500 € only to apply to all of them. should i throw representatives of each university in an arena and make a battle royale situation out of this

[catstrophysics-fics]

Been a while since I posted something here. Dean/Cas, 2k, domestic and written in one sitting. Likes, comments, and reblogs WILDLY appreciated! It wasn’t dark at night in the city. Streetlights glowed orange, marking every 100 feet with soldier’s precision—guards never present along backroads and country highways. Buildings adorned with neon signs lined the street, marketing “OPEN” or “VACANCY” or any of the thousand other possibilities for a storefront. Even the horizon shone, light pollution leaching into the night sky unlike anything he’d see among the trees. It wasn’t dark at night, and the Impala’s headlights barely showed against the road.

Sam was home, keeping tabs on Eileen as she hunted down a siren that only targeted men, leaving Dean and Castiel to sort out wrapping up a case in Nowhere, USA. The case was an easy finish: exorcise a demon, salt the doors and windows afterwards, and check the perimeter for anything else dodgy. Then they were alone downtown, and for the first time in too long they had a night to themselves. They started with the basics. Take Baby to a gas station, fill her up and clean the mud (and blood) off of her chrome, then Rain-X the windshields. Stop by the most middle-of-the-road all-night diner they could find, Dean slipping off his overcoat in the car before they went in. He ordered a burger, same as always. Castiel sat across from him in the cramped linoleum booth, same as always. The persistent shake in his leg had slowed to an occasional bounce, and he stretched out both feet under the booth, barely mustering the care to flinch away when he knocked into Castiel’s legs. For a split second he considered apologizing, but when Castiel nabbed a fry off of his plate—he didn’t need to eat, but Dean had long since learned he’d snag bites of food when he felt really happy—he called it even and let his knee rest softly against the side of Castiel’s. Dean ate slowly. Castiel watched. The streetlights outside flickered every handful of minutes, a reminder that time passed even as they sat nearly motionless. He snagged another fry, and this time Dean batted at his thieving fingers with his free hand. That’s mine, his initial look said, but with a cocked eyebrow and half of a sideways smile he relented (as always; so it had been, so it always would be). They finished eating, talking of anything but hunting. I don’t understand why we need to sleep here tonight, Cas had said, met by Dean’s reciprocal I need sleep, and you’re not driving. Never mind that Castiel could drive perfectly well, save for when a truck swerved into his lane and the stereo turned on full blast, or when bouts of road rage would pop tires off of cars in front of him. Aside from incidents like that, he was a good driver, patient in a way Dean assumed came with millennia of watching time come and go. Dean paid, tipping 20% and rounding up to the nearest whole number, some remnant of John and Mary discussing credit card bills and adding them up themselves hanging over from his childhood. They stood, neither acknowledging that they’d been separated only by the fabric of their pants moments before, and Dean held the door on their way out, giving the restaurant one last once-over (for black eyes, glowing blue eyes, and a glance for silver eyes on the monitor over the door). The Impala glistened in the night, chrome freshly wiped and windshields free of the dirt of miles. Absently, Dean checked his watch, more of a habit than anything, and Castiel cocked his head inquiringly. Dean flipped his hand over, showing an upside-down 10:32, and they got in the car with a thunk of the locks shifting. The engine turned over with Dean’s key, and the radio crackled back to life, playing one of Led Zeppelin’s lesser-known songs softly. By some unspoken mutual agreement, they drove aimlessly. The city was nice, Dean thought, small enough to be beneath the notice of big box chain stores and big enough to have infrastructure they didn’t run into most places. A few nice houses scattered around, painted murals on the sides of strip malls, and straggly if well-kept medians. A swath of dark green appeared up the road, and without turning his head he could feel Castiel looking at him hopefully, a question hanging in the air like static electricity. Dean turned on the blinker, and a sense of satisfaction permeated the front seat. The park was nice. The whole city, really, was nice, Dean thought. Well-proportioned. Cas seemed to like it, too, it seemed, as he walked a few feet ahead not by any conscious thought; Dean just preferred to hang back and watch him, sometimes. Turn the tables a little, see him when he’s off guard and full of wonder even after all his years on

Earth. They wandered without direction, taking the first path they saw before breaking off to follow tiny train tracks for a spell, Castiel walking carefully between the ties and Dean balancing haphazardly on the rails themselves. A few dozen yards into their balancing act, Castiel tripped, and without thinking Dean caught him around the forearm, holding him steady until he regained his footing. Unlike back home, when they’d limit touching to necessities such as healing or spellwork, Castiel didn’t seem inclined to shake Dean off, and Dean didn’t let go, sliding his hand down to rest closer to Castiel’s as though it were the most natural thing in the world. They carried on, tracks now running between them The train tracks ended abruptly with a miniature “STOP!” sign before opening up into a paved pavilion with a pool in the middle, bubbling softly. Castiel paused, hand slipping out of Dean’s as he looked around slowly, eyes aglow not from within but from the reflections of the lights around the pavilion off of the water. Dean stepped up beside him, careful not to break whatever spell seemed to have come over him in the pavilion. “Y’know,” he said, hearing his words bounce back off of the white stone, “I could teach you how to dance.” Castiel turned to him slowly, surprised at first before his expression settled into something softer. Dean felt his cheeks heat, conversations late at night in motel rooms slipping back into his mind. “You’d said you wanted to learn, and Sonny made all of us boys go to cotillion at least once.” He cracked a grin, and Castiel’s lips responded reflexively. “I can waltz like nobody’s business.” For a split second it looked like he was going to refuse, carefully place another layer of brick between whatever forbidden hands reached out between them. Then he stepped forward off the end of the track, coat swishing, and waited expectantly. Frankly, Dean had expected him to decline. Angels weren’t known to dance except on the heads of pins. But it was Cas, standing in the center of the pavilion a few feet from the water’s edge, head cocked as he waited. Dean took a moment to remember, thinking back to teenage him in a scratchy shirt and too-tight bowtie and the one-two-three step he’d committed to muscle memory years ago in a school gym, rattly classical music playing over the PA system as he laughed and flirted carelessly with whatever girl he danced with that night. The steps had never left him, though faces and memories did, and he flipped through the songs he’d since learned he could waltz to. Castiel stood waiting, stiff in the shoulders and watching his every move expectantly. Dean stepped closer, feeling the familiar electric hum that came with proximity to him and a matching buzz hum through his veins. Gently—he pegged the emotion pounding in his chest as nervousness, and butterflies fluttered to life in his stomach to accompany—he moved their hands into place, one around Cas’s waist resting low near his hips, Cas’s right hand on Dean’s left shoulder. Just like always, his fingers tingled when they brushed over the raised scar, and Dean smiled quietly to himself as he interlocked their hands, the easiest motion in the world. “It’s just one-two-three,” Dean said, taking tiny steps of his own to demonstrate. “We’re set up like you’re leading”—because I want your hand on my shoulder, because I want to feel you under my fingertips—“because you’ve got two left feet, and it’s a little easier to start going forward first.” He paused, flexing his fingers in the fabric of Castiel’s coat. “I’ll lead, though, just follow me.” Castiel nodded, and Dean couldn’t help the smile that broke through his nerves. Clearing his throat, he started to hum the opening of his favorite waltz song, holding eye contact with Castiel as they started to move. I put a spell on you Because you’re mine Even wordlessly, he saw recognition spark in Castiel’s eyes, and the happy, comforting buzz of his presence turned up a few notches as they began to move, Dean guiding them backwards in

spiralling circles around the fountain as he hummed through the rest of the song, watching enraptured as the light changed and shifted around them, always seeming to glint an otherworldly blue from Cas’s eyes. I just can't stand it, babe Castiel was relaxing, pulling Dean near-imperceptible millimeters closer with each turn, and Dean let himself be drawn in, magnetic until they were nearly pressed up one another in the glow of the fountain. Because you’re mine. Dean held out the last note for a few moments, still staring intently at Castiel who seemed breathless despite needing no air. A surge of joy rushed through his chest, and he leaned in the few inches between their lips and pressed a quick, happy kiss to the corner of his lips. Behind him, the fountain burst out a geyser of water that cleared the treetops as the backlight in the water flickered to black. The water came raining down on them, still holding each other from dancing, drenching Castiel’s coat and plastering Dean’s hair to his head. They stood frozen for moments, the din of traffic in the distance audible for the first time, and Castiel’s eyes got wider and wider, fear creeping in at the edges until Dean burst out laughing, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Castiel’s shoulder. Slowly, the tension dissipated from his shoulders and he breaks into quiet giggles, starting soft and low and escalating in seconds into the same body-shaking laughter Dean trembled with, both of them tapering to the end of a bout before catching it back from the other. The fountain behind them had returned to normal, the only signs anything had happened the puddle of water surrounding it and the broken, dark bulb underneath. They drew apart slightly, aftershocks of laughter still coursing through them in tandem with adrenaline. “To avoid further municipal catastrophes,” Dean began, before collapsing into another bout of giggles as Castiel squeezed his hand, “I’m giving you advance warning this time: I’m going to kiss you again.” Castiel’s eyes crinkled at the corners, and he didn’t give Dean time to lean in before his lips were on Dean’s, wet from fountain water and warm from laughter, and Dean didn’t mind the static shocks passing between their hands and radiating out in all directions from Castiel. They followed the train tracks back to the main path, leaving wet shoe prints behind and a line of drips gathering underneath their joined hands. “Grab the towels from the back,” Dean said as they reached the car. “We’re not dripping all over Baby like this.” It wasn’t dark at all in the city as they drove to the cheapest motel on the edge of town, Dean driving left-handed as he stroked over Cas’s thumb. He parked, got out their only bag (a change of clothes apiece, and a handful of weapons just in case), and his voice didn’t waver at all as he asked for a room with just one bed.

[ciarawritesmarvel]

wanderlust [1] - steve rogers

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 4.2k (yayyyy)

Warnings: Mutual pining to the max? Lots of secretly loving Steve. Minimal language. 

A/N: Eeeee I know I know, I have a Bucky series ongoing what am I doing but I’m in such a Steve mood at the moment, and I have to do this! A little mini series following Steve and the reader’s trip around the world, just a little one, full of pining and love and fluff and sunsets and intimacy but not smut. This has really sparked something in me and I can’t stop writing it. I love you guys and please do let me know what you think of this if you have time! <3

Summary: Your best friend and colleague Steve Rogers only really wants to make you happy, even if that means taking you around the world to do so. Will you satisfy your wanderlust or somehow wander into love?

Prompt: I love you. And I’m sorry if that scares you but it won’t change. I love you. I have for a while now. [written for Attie’s 4K Challenge Challenge! @barnesrogersvstheworld]

I’m going to start tagging in reblogs and my masterlist is in my bio if you want to find it! Enjoy! 

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new york city - usa

Your bright smile and smart dress were the only thing keeping the fact that you were sleep-deprived and exhausted a secret. The black skirt suit was too hot and you felt yourself pulling at your neckerchief whenever you thought no one was looking.

“Hello and welcome to Gaia Airlines! Could you place your luggage on the conveyor belt for me?”

Over and over and over, that sentence was seared onto your mind like a brand, so natural were the words that fell from your lips that it felt as if you were on autopilot, not really thinking about anything as you asked the typical questions and ripped tickets with the mechanical movements of a bored human being.

You cast a glance down the line of people on the night shift alongside you and saw the similar subtle signs that lack of sleep adds to your features. Sam was rubbing his face, Bucky’s shoulders had sagged, Nat’s heels lay strewn on the floor under the desk and Steve beside you had dark circles under his eyes and a slightly more worn smile than usual.

He’d caught you stealing a glance at him between customers and inclined his head towards you just slightly with a small tilt as if to ask if you were doing okay. You gave him a soft smile and a tiny, almost imperceptible nod that you knew he would pick up on. Not only was he good at reading others in the first place, but you two had gotten to know each other rather well over the past five and a half years. Calling him a best friend, calling all four of them best friends, didn’t feel out of place.

He turned back to his next customer, satisfied with your answer, and began to serve them, you continuing with your own line. Why people couldn’t just get flights in the daytime like a normal person would baffled you. But not really.

You’d take any flight you could get if it meant you’d get to go out and see the world.

Working at an airport and watching people flying away on magical adventures every single night whilst also being someone who had never left the United States and had a serious case of wanderlust was an interesting situation to say the least. The irony was certainly not lost on you.

Almost a whole night of the same old, same old checking in had gone by and if it was even possible, everyone appeared to be flagging so much more. You’d lost your own heels a few hours previous, secretly reaching down to massage your aching feet every couple of minutes. It wasn’t as if you even got a decent break in your 12 hour shift, just two half hour ones that were just used for a much needed sit down, a run to the bathroom and a quick snack.

With just an hour left, it was Steve’s turn for a break and as soon as the clock struck the hour he put a rope across his station and stepped back from the podium with a stretched out sigh. He walked behind you to make his way to the break room and squeezed your shoulder on the way past with a pitying smile and you brought your hand up to cover his for only a second, meeting his glance with grateful eyes.

“I’ll grab you a coffee,” he whispered on his way.

“Thank you!” you mumbled, even though he was already gone and you could hear his shoes clicking on the floor, quieter and quieter as he travelled down the corridor.

There was a part of you, your heart most likely, that seemed to warm at the thought of Steve offering to get you a coffee and none of the others, however selfish it may have sounded. But in reality, it reaffirmed your belief that the relationship the two of you held went a little beyond the rest of your work relationships. Steve was a little more than that to you than a mere best friend and it was nice to know that feeling was reciprocated.

There were other feelings in the back of your mind for Steve, ones that used to be right at the forefront, begging to be set free, but it had been a long time since you had properly listened to those. They just happened to lurk there, completely unwanted and unreciprocated, of that you were sure, and so you cast them away in fear that they may one day interfere in the best friendship of your adult life.

You heard a mini beep from your computer screen that indicated a chat message. You continued to talk through the protocol safety questions with the customer you were currently serving but clicked on the little bell icon to open up the chat window at the same time. Sam had set up the chat about a year ago, installed it on the five workstation computers only and done it in a certain way you didn’t quite understand to ensure that the airline wouldn’t see it and that the day shifters couldn’t access it either.

You were added to a chat with Badass, Princess and Birdman.

Nat: Sorry, am I mistaken or did somebody just offer just one singular person a coffee?

Bucky: No Nat, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what just happened.

Sam: What would possibly cause such unabashed favouritism?

Your brow furrowed at the messages but you ignored them for a second as you ripped the tickets you’d just printed from the mini printer and handed them to the customer in front of you as you told them to have a wonderful flight. There was no one left in the queue for the time being, though you knew it wouldn’t last, so you turned your attention back to the messages.

Y/N: If you guys ever want to stop being children, just let me know.

Bucky: Someone’s tetchy. It’s as if we haven’t all just done 11 hours of a 12 hour shift.

Y/N: Less of the sass, Barnes.

Nat: You’re willingly blind, Y/N.

Sam: Willingly ignorant, blind isn’t a strong enough word.

You have left the chat.

You could feel a couple of glances at the side of your head as the others noticed your exit but you ignored them, focusing on the person that had arrived in front of you to be checked in. Your colleagues, as you currently felt compelled to call them just colleagues, had been alluding to a crush from a certain other colleague for a good few months now, but it was something you wouldn’t even consider a possibility. It wasn’t up for discussion. Not anymore. Not when you’d had to spend months locking away every thought of Steve that you couldn’t have, months boxing up every inappropriate feeling you found in your brain.

Steve returned and you felt his arm just brush your side lightly as he placed a steaming hot mug on your desk, not stopping to talk to you but just returning to his station. You glanced at him and he was already looking at you, a weird glimmer in his eye and a grin adorning his features. You shot him a quick puzzled look but he shook his head lightly, the grin only growing.

And then he did something completely new. He winked at you.

It was playful and excitable and he was like a puppy that had just been given a new home. He looked revitalised, a different man to the one that had trudged away to the break room half an hour ago. Completely bewildered, and just slightly more flustered than you’d like to admit, you hurriedly dropped your gaze away from him and towards your work instead, silently wracking your brain for anything that could have happened to him to have made him so cheerful so suddenly. The others were looking confused too, with Bucky and Sam shaking their heads at each other and rolling their eyes and Nat mouthing expletives at you. You resolved to ask him about it as soon as your shift ended.

You had never seen such a sudden change in Steve’s mood. And he had never sent you a wink that made you shiver.

30 minutes earlier

Steve struggled through the corridor, desperately trying to keep his feet moving, one after the other, even though it was difficult to keep it going. He was so tired. He’d taken the early and late break this evening, so that the others could have the middle ones that they really needed. Especially you, since you’d been secretly signing yourself up for the early and late breaks for the past week in order to help the others.

He’d now signed himself up for the coming week. It was the absolute least he could do.

As was grabbing you a coffee.

In the break room, there were a myriad of other airport employees, flight attendants, duty free salespersons and even a few pilots scattered around. Steve’s ears automatically tuned in to a familiar voice and his lips turned up in a knowing smile.

“...so I told him, look Rhodey, just because you’re my co-pilot doesn’t mean I’ll hesitate to send you out the door with a parachute!”

A few of his colleagues laughed at his clearly exaggerated tale as Steve walked over and tapped him on the shoulder, watching his face break into a grin when he turned around.

“Steve Rogers!” he exclaimed, cupping his face with both hands and planting a kiss on each cheek, something Steve had grown somewhat accustomed to.

“Tony Stark,” he replied, clapping a hand on his arm, “It’s been a little while. How was South Korea?”

“Wonderful. How’s Y/N?”

Steve’s whole face seemed to slump into one of a grumpy teenager although there was the faintest hint of a blush forming on his cheeks that told Tony his teasing wasn’t unwarranted. He’d been teasing him as such for about four years, however, so it was beginning to become tiresome.

“Wonderful,” Steve mumbled reluctantly, “But you could really ask her yourself.”

“Where would the fun be in that?”

Tony grinned and Steve glowered at him, but still he sat opposite him at one of the tables in the break room when Tony indicated to do so. Tony may have been a pain in the ass, but he was an old friend and one of the only people Steve would willingly endure such teasing from. The other was Bucky, and sometimes Nat but never Sam. He had his limits.

“Seriously, have you still not said anything to her? You know she-”

“Tony,” he warned, sounding exasperated, “Move on. Was Pepper on your flight to Korea?”

“No,” Tony grumbled, “They don’t let us on the same flights more than once a month now, something about not trusting us to keep the plane...sanitary.” Steve’s nose wrinkled in light disgust.

“You know how gross that is, right?”

“We most certainly do!”

“Pepper’s such a lucky woman,” Steve said sarcastically and Tony laughed, Steve congratulating himself on successfully changing the subject, even if it was just for now.

“That she is. She’s back from Thailand tomorrow so best to stay out of our way for at least 6 hours, then feel free to stop by the apartment and say hello!”

“I’ll give you 12 hours, but I will pop over, I haven’t seen Pep in such a long time!”

“Chief flight attendants don’t get too much free time.”

“Neither do pilots, Tony. How do you two manage it?” Steve asked, curious and a soft, genuine smile played with Tony’s lips as he shrugged lightly.

“We get by. Cherish the time we do spend together. It helps that we’ve known each other for ten years. Though five and a half is probably enough too.”

“Tony-”

“Oh come on Steve! It’s been four years of you being in love with this girl and four years of being too scared to anything about it. Do you realise how long that is? Four years!” he insisted and Steve felt a small anger building in his stomach.

“I’m not too scared to do anything about it, Stark,” Tony looked slightly taken aback by the bite in Steve’s words and knew that he was only referred to as Stark when he’d gone just a little too far, “I’m not doing anything about it because, above everything, I count myself lucky to have Y/N in my life and I refuse to do anything that might jeopardise that. Period.”

Tony blinked a couple of times.

“Okay, fine. That makes sense, I guess,” it almost sounded as if Tony was being serious but Steve knew him better than that, “Or at least, it would if I wasn’t 100% sure without a doubt that Y/N is head over heels for you.”

“She isn’t.”

“I’ve known her for just as long as you, Stevie, and I know that she does.”

“You don’t see her everyday like I do. We’re best friends; I would know. Drop it.”

Tony sat back in his chair with a heavy sigh. He couldn’t count how many times the two men had had this conversation. It was growing unbearably annoying. Steve was forthright about his feelings about you and had been for a very long time and whilst you wouldn’t dream of admitting anything to Tony, who was little more than a friendly face that you saw around sometimes, Tony had seen the way you looked at Steve. He knew that look. It was the look he got when Pepper was around.

It was that of a lovesick puppy.

And whilst you weren’t much of the puppy type and that was far more Steve’s game, he knew what he’d seen. You were smitten. Steve was smitten. Why neither of you were brave enough to take this further was beyond him. Though this was coming from the man who had showered his wife with bouquets upon bouquets of flowers and one ill-begotten batch of strawberries before she agreed to date him, so subtlety wasn’t exactly his strongest suit.

“She means that much to you, huh?”

A pause. Full of weight. Meaning.

“You know she does, Tony,” he said softly, looking down at his hands which had starting wringing together nervously without him even noticing, “I’d do pretty much anything for her. Which reminds me, I should really be getting her coffee so-”

Steve pushed himself up from the chair with his hands on his thighs, not noticing the look on Tony’s face and the clear fact that he’d just had what he thought was a genius idea. As Steve wandered over to the coffee machine in the kitchenette area, Tony bounded up from his chair and over to his friend, taking off his pilot cap and tugging it over Steve’s head.

“I’ve just had an incredible idea!”

“No.”

“You haven’t even heard it yet,” Tony pouted as Steve waiting for the coffee to brew, having put your favourite pod in the machine. He turned from the counter and leaned back against it, hands pressing into it on either side of him. He nodded reluctantly for Tony to continue, “Why don’t you and Y/N take a trip? All expenses paid by yours truly, a holiday from the night shift, a chance to spend some quality time together. It would be perfect!”

“Are you out of your mind?” Steve scoffed, shaking his head, “I am not going on a trip with Y/N.”

“Why not? You said it yourself, you’re best friends. Best friends go on vacations together.”

“Yeah but-” he floundered for some other excuse, “I can’t let you pay for it!”

Tony laughed at that. Steve could admit that was a pretty weak point. What with Tony’s air miles and his ridiculous amount inherited from his father, he wouldn’t even notice if somebody stole from him, Steve was sure. And he was a generous man at heart, so accepting such a huge gift, though difficult, wouldn’t be that hard to stomach.

“Forget the conversation we just had. Forget romance. You love her. That means something, even between best friends. And wouldn’t this make her happy?”

Steve paused. It would. There was no denying that this would make you happier than he’d probably ever seen you. Work was beating your ass lately, and there wasn’t a day, or night, that went by when you didn’t talk about some part of the world you wanted to see, or lamented about an incredible place that one of your flight attendant friends was flying out to that night. You’d always wanted to travel.

He could make it happen. He could make you happy.

Or, at least, the trip could.

“I don’t know, Tony-”

“You think too much, Rogers,” Tony pointed, accusatory, at Steve, a stern look overtaking his features, “For once in your life, just do something spontaneous. Invite Y/N to come around the world with you. Why not?”

There were so many reasons why not. Because it was ill advised for a man in love to go away with the object of his affections. Because he shouldn’t take a free trip from Tony Stark. Because you might say no, he might be crushed. Because you did not love him back and he should be distancing himself from you in order to deal with that fact and not throwing himself before you in some grand gesture that wouldn’t win your love or make him feel any better about his unreciprocated feelings.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

Tony clapped him on the back in his excitement with a grin of glee on his face.

“Ask her tonight, ask her tonight!”

Steve chuckled, because, although it was clear that Tony was getting ahead of himself, he couldn’t deny that he was feeling a little lightheaded himself. A world trip? The only thing that made those three words exponentially better was the addition of another two words.

With you.

He picked up the coffee cup, the steam rising in a steady stream from it and disappearing into the air above. Smiling at Tony, he placed a firm hand on his shoulder for a second.

“Thank you.”

It was sincere and the look of happiness on Tony’s face, in the crinkles around his eyes, was evident enough. With that, and a final word that he would come visit him and Pepper in the coming week, Steve left the break room, fulling intending to arrive back to you a little earlier than was necessary and forgo some of his break.

You needed your coffee after all.

And so here he was, grinning unnaturally at anyone who arrived with tickets at his stations, messing up his perfectly practised lines and questions and, instead of stumbling and apologising profusely, simply chuckling with a light apology and a small shake of the head at himself. He had even winked at you and hadn’t thought twice about how ridiculous he must’ve looked. He was the epitome of giddy.

A beep brought him out of his reverie.

You have been added to a chat with Princess.

Bucky: What is going on with you, pal? You’ve been smiled manically at yourself for the past ten minutes.

Steve: Tell you later, Buck.

Bucky: Can you at least tell me how to change my damn name on this crap?

Steve has left the chat.

Princess suited him too well. He couldn’t rob the team of that chuckle every time he was added to a chat.

The shift finished quicker than ever for Steve and what felt like slower than ever for you. Steve’s change in mood was almost worrying, even if it seemed positive, and you cornered him in the staffroom as soon as you arrived there. You both had your lockers open, ridding yourselves of suit jackets that would be needed tomorrow night, Steve passing you your heels that he had carried back for you.

“Okay, come on Rogers. Spill.”

“What are you talking about?” he feigned nonchalance, but he was such a terrible liar and he was still smiling. He hadn’t stopped smiling since. It was unnerving.

“You. Your face. It’s weird,” you argued, pulling out a black duster coat from your locker and weaving your arms into it, pulling it tight around yourself as you hoisted your bag onto one shoulder and shut your locker, “So tell me what’s going on.”

“Okay, fine, there is something. Just, don’t freak out.”

“...Okay.”

You were beginning to get a little worried, but you tried not to let it show, not wanting to put Steve off telling you whatever was on his mind. He was easily spooked.

“I saw Tony on my break-“

“Oh my god! Tony! How is he? Still a little shit?” you said playfully as Steve closed his locker and you both began walking through the airport towards the staff car park.

“Still a little shit, yeah. But he’s good, Pep’s back tomorrow and they have a week off together so he’s naturally ecstatic,” you laughed slightly but looked genuinely happy for your pilot friend and his wife. Steve found himself falling for you just a millimetre more at the happiness you held for other people’s happiness, even those you didn’t know well. Little moments such as this could add millimetres and millimetres to his fall, “But anyway, he offered me a gift. And you.”

“Really?”

“Yes!” Steve could feel his voice getting more excited and his steps becoming bouncier as you walked through the huge rooms, arms bumping each other every few seconds, “What would you say if I told you he was going to pay for us to go on holiday?”

You stopped in your tracks and held out a hand to stop Steve too. You stared at him.

“Is this a joke? Because it’s not funny, you know how much I want to-“

“Travel, yes I do which is why I would never joke about this Y/N. It’s true.”

“Shut up,” you hit his arm then, not being able to process this, “Shut up! Wait, wait, we can’t let him pay, that’s ridiculous.”

“Do you know how rich Tony is?”

“...Fair point.”

“I would never usually accept such gifts from him either, trust me, but this? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Two weeks off work, a trip around the world, to the places you’ve always talked and dreamt about.”

There were tears in your eyes and whilst Steve was sure they were happy tears, he couldn’t help but be a little scared by them. You were still gripping his forearm tightly, to ground yourself, because your head was spinning. You couldn’t take this in. Steve wiped a tear that happened to fall onto your chin with the pad of his thumb with a shaky smile.

“And you’d be coming with me?” you asked quietly when you found your words.

“Yes, I mean, if you don’t mind-“

“‘Cause I don’t think I could do this without you.”

He breathed out a long breath. He was worried you wouldn’t want him but he should’ve known you would. Of course you would. You were best friends. He knew he was an important part of your life, even if not in the way he would like, just as you were an important part of his. He turned his forearm in your grip and held your own arm in his hand.

“I’d be there every step of the way, doll. We’d see the world together.”

His words were so comforting although they did a number on the locks of the boxes at the back of your mind and made your heart jump in its place. Together as friends, you reminded yourself, filling in the blank. You mulled over the proposition in your head. It was all too much.

“We need to talk about this properly.”

“Of course,” Steve replied readily, feeling you begin to waver.

“And I’ll need to talk to Tony.”

“I’m meeting him and Pepper sometime this week, you can come with me.”

“But if we can get it all sorted… well then I’m in buddy.”

“You are?” Steve was shocked and overwhelmed and felt like he was jumping over the moon.

“Of course I am! How could I say no? Oh Steve, this is amazing!”

There were a few tears falling now, happy tears that were actually rather unnoticeable, since your grin was taking up your entire face and there was a light in your eyes that Steve hadn’t seen in at least a year. He’d forgotten how beautiful true happiness looked on you.

All too soon he couldn’t see it anymore though, because you were clasping his shoulders and bringing him down for a hug, clutching at his back with a ferocity that was new. But this meant so much to you. More than you’d ever be able to tell him.

Tony might be paying for it, but Steve was going to take you around the world. That was everything.

“Thank you,” you mumbled into his shoulder, your chin resting on it as his arms melted into your back and he held you to him tightly.

“Tony’s paying-“

“Thank you.”

Your insistent tone told him not to argue and so he just squeezed you impossibly tighter.

You were happy. He’d done his job.

next chapter

[sarahraffertysource]

When it was first reported late last year that Meghan Markle and Patrick J. Adams would be leaving Suits after its seventh season, it was hard to imagine how the show would go on. Having already lost Jessica Pearson (Gina Torres) a season earlier, fans of the long-running USA drama had genuine reason for concern given how pivotal the show’s ensemble has always been to its appeal.

But the introduction of Katherine Heigl as Samantha Wheeler, a ballsy and uncompromising attorney unafraid to tell Harvey Specter to “kiss her ass,” has thrown an intriguing new spanner into the works. Samantha’s presence shakes up the status quo at the newly-renamed Zane Specter Litt, while fan-favorite relationships like Harvey and Donna remain as pivotal as ever.

BAZAAR.com visited the show’s Toronto set last month, and spoke with Gabriel Macht, Sarah Rafferty, and Katherine Heigl about what to expect from the new era, and how it’s felt to continue the show without Adams and Markle. Here are eight things to know about the eighth season.

1) Harvey is missing Mike a lot.

But arguably not as much as Gabriel Macht is missing Patrick J. Adams. “I didn’t really know how overwhelming it would be for me,” Macht admits, “because we really started together. The show started as a two-hander and became an ensemble—which I’m very grateful for—but Patrick and I would bounce ideas off of each other, and Patrick always comes with such integrity and intelligence that he was very much my partner in this journey.” The actors are good friends in real life, and when Macht admitted to him how daunting it felt to do the show without him, “his response was ‘any time you want to talk, I’m a phone call away.’ So that was very touching, and I take solace in the fact that he’s there for me, but it’s definitely been a void.”

2) But Mike remains a strong presence in Harvey’s world.

Early on in the season, there’ll be a storyline that highlights just how deeply Harvey was shaped by his protege. “Mike has always been all about pro bono cases, and Harvey takes a pro bono case,” Macht says, “and Donna points out that this is his way of trying to keep Mike’s spirit alive. I think Harvey understands that, and acknowledges that, and he also understands that he is not Mike. Harvey’s always been aggressive and manipulative, but he also has a heart of gold.”

3) Alex (Dulé Hill) and his prickly friendship with Harvey will help to mitigate the loss of Mike.

“That does fill [the void] a little bit,” Macht said. “But it is a different relationship. Harvey and Alex do have history, but they’re also in a place where Harvey is managing partner and Alex really wants to be name partner, and much as Harvey wants to give it to him, it’s too soon. You will definitely see some of that banter, some of that wit and sparring, with Alex and also with Robert [Zane].”

4) Samantha is filling the void left by Meghan Markle’s Rachel—but not in the way you might expect.

Robert (Wendell Pierce) is more integral to the firm than ever before, but he’s also dealing with the new absence of his daughter. In the season premiere, he brings in Samantha as his right-hand woman, and per Heigl, their relationship is very much that of a surrogate father and daughter. “Robert is the only person that she truly respects enough to, not acquiesce to him, but listen to him,” she explains. “They have a really important, powerful connection that’s based on her love and respect for this man. She believes him to be somebody in her corner, and that matters to her a lot, because she hasn’t had that very much in her life.

Samantha’s relationship with Robert also allows her to let down her guard. “We shot a scene yesterday that I loved, where Sam comes to Robert very much like he’s her father, and she’s being a little petulant in trying to get her way, and it’s so great because it’s the only time you see her being less than in charge,” Heigl adds. While there was never a direct intention for Samantha to replace Rachel in that way, it just worked out. “You do feel the absence of that relationship [between Robert and Rachel], so this is in some way filling a void,“ Heigl says.

5) Harvey and Samantha’s relationship isn’t so much love-hate as straight-up hate.

And the initial tension and distrust between these two won’t ease up much, at least early on. “She’s a real foil for him because she’s a lot like him,” Heigl says. “She has that similar confidence, a similar cockiness, a similar wit, and I think Harvey’s biggest issue with her is whether or not she’s loyal to him and the firm.”

And while many shows would have immediately started to play up sexual tension between the two, that’s not necessarily in the cards here. “I don’t think the first instinct is ‘let’s throw them together romantically.’ I have no idea whether they will or not, but it’s fun to come into it like that’s not what these people are thinking. They’re not distracted by that right now. They’re very focused on what they want, and that might develop into something or it might just develop into a mutual respect—or a mutual loathing!”

6) Samantha may not be what she seems.

While this is arguably true of everybody in Suits to some degree, Macht hinted that Samantha’s account of her own backstory isn’t necessarily to be trusted. “She’s disrupting the status quo, and you don’t quite know if she’s on your side or against you. She becomes a villain in a way, but she might be redeemable, and in many ways she’s like the flip side to Harvey. We’re going to learn that they come from the same place, and that they’re both outsiders—or at least that’s what she claims. I think she says what people want to hear.” Hmmm…

7) Gender politics will play a slightly more prominent role in the show.

Sarah Rafferty revealed that Donna’s recent “lean in” moment, where she finally decided to go after what she wanted at work, and ultimately earned the COO title, came directly out of a tearful conversation she had with showrunner Aaron Korsh after the election of Donald Trump. “I said, ‘we have to do something. We have to take Donna on a journey.’ We needed to consciously make a statement, and shine a light on a woman’s story.”

Even though Korsh generally avoids making any overt statements with the show, Rafferty adds, “I said, ‘I know that you don’t feel you’re making a statement, but we must acknowledge that a statement is being received, whether you’re making it or not.’” Having received countless messages from female fans who have been inspired and empowered by watching Donna, Rafferty knows this matters. And in Season 8, Donna’s dynamic with Samantha allows for even more exploration of women’s working lives. “I’m about to shoot a scene with Kathrine in episode 809 where we, as two formidable women, both acknowledge that we’re having a gendered conversation, and dealing with some gender programming,” Rafferty revealed. “I appreciate that Suits is doing that in Season 8. It’s time.”

8) Rafferty has a very specific dream storyline in mind for Donna.

In last year’s midseason finale, Donna was torn apart on the stand by a lawyer who was hellbent on proving that she got to where she is by sleeping with Harvey. It was a painful sequence that also served as a reminder of why it’ll be so hard for these two to ever make it work: should they ever get together, Donna will be more vulnerable than ever to these types of attacks on her, and she knows it. “I want that to happen, actually,” Rafferty said when asked about this potential future. “That’s a storyline I want to follow in 2018. Everything that she’s worked for, all her superpowers, all of her unique potential, I want all of it to hang in the balance because of sexism, and because of [her relationship with Harvey]. I want a full arc where that threatens everything Donna has built, and Donna ends up potentially saving herself.” We are here for this storyline, for the record.

[theothershreya]

Shreya’s Two Cents on the COVID-19 Pandemic

It seems like we tore a page off of a science fiction novel. And instead of getting a time machine that could potentially lead to alternative timelines, we took the slightly more dangerous route. The thirst for adventure is a never ending one. But why are we so greedy?

BATMAN: An Origin Story.

“Stay away from Chinese food. It has AJINOMOTO in it”

~ #Sanskaar from a Wise Elder

Legend has it that in late December of 2019, a man ate a bat that he bought from Wuhan’s wet animal market. And that inspired a chain of events which led to everyone being grounded for what felt like two decades. Enough time for everyone’s sleep schedules to get back on track. Or not.

If we really had a time machine, we could go back in time and prevent that particular young man with a palate for flying mammals from putting all of us at risk. But before we get to building that time machine, we need to know our enemy.

WORLD WIDE WET: 

The kind of markets that sell exotic meats abound in China. In these wet markets, animals are slaughtered on customer demand. And let’s just say, it’s not really a happy farm in there. As the 2004 SARS and COVID-19 outbreak have already testified.

The animals brought for slaughtering are kept cooped up in cages, with very little to no breathing space, implying that their bodily fluids and excrement mixes into each other, making it a perfect breeding ground for contagious microbes.

And the sellers don’t discriminate against the species. Meaning that even rodents get to spend what’s left of their lives with the birds. It would only be natural, then, that the upmarket elites of China choose to distance themselves from this utter lack of hygiene. Right?

RONG. JUST LIKE WONG. 

“I’m not racist, you’re racist.”

~Wu Tang Klansman

In 1988, the Chinese government exercised a law that encouraged the domestication and breeding of wildlife, meaning that if you hunted wildlife for food, the state had your back. This also led to endangered animals being poached illegally, supplied to the same wet markets as the farmed ones. 

This gave rise to an industry worth more than 148 bn Yuan today. Although it contributes very little to the Chinese GDP, the industry has very strong lobbying capabilities. So much so, that certain endangered species like the tiger and the pangolin have been declared legal for sale.

The elite population of China amounts to more than 80% of the sales from these wet markets. The consumption of exotic, wild mammals as a delicacy has become a status symbol. It is this elite strata of society that creates a demand for exotic meats. And, having a strong Influenza on the government, manages to keep the wet markets up and running. 

Countries around the world have called for a ban on these wet markets, to prevent such epidemic outbreaks in the future. Being hygienic is not a thing for the weak. It prevents diseases. 

IT’S A ME-A! CORON-A!

World: So what do you want to eat today? Coronavirus: I don’t know, Italian?

Total: 1,83,957. Recovered: 51,600. Deaths: 24.648

Like any couple deciding on a honeymoon destination, Coronavirus picked Venice. 

Well, technically, Lombardy first. Lombardy is the most populous, richest and most productive region in the country, meaning that a lot of lives were affected. Italy was quick to adopt preventative measures, quarantining and locking down almost all of the country into red zones and yellow zones. Even with one of the world’s best healthcare services, Italy was unable to cope up with the sheer number of cases of the people infected. Heartbreaking cases of senior citizens giving up their ventilators to prolong the life of younger people have come to light. To me, personally, Italy seems like a beacon of hope for humanity. 

It’s not perfect, but they’re tackling it with all they have.

In all of Italy, 139 physicians have died since the beginning of the epidemic. Almost half of them were general practitioners. 

Italy reported its second successive drop Tuesday in the number of current coronavirus cases as it neared a crucial decision on whether to extend its national lockdown.

EU! MONEY!

The pandemic provoked large economic damage to the Italian economy. Italy, Greece and Spain want to  borrow money ,with Germany’s backing as a guarantor, so that investors would consider them less of a credit risk and demand lower interest rates, making it easier for those countries to continue to tap the bond market. 

“We aren’t asking for a mutualization of debt, but the mutualization of the excessive risk of recession,”. For Germany and its northern allies, the idea is a nonstarter. Even as they’ve put in place massive rescue packages for their own populations, they’ve shown little willingness to help their southern neighbors. Though Italy insists it can pay back whatever it borrows and is only asking its eurozone partners to effectively co-sign its loans, not to foot the bill, many economists doubt it would be able to do so. 

If the other members of the EU bloc do not help Italy, SPain and Greece, it could lead to a significant hampering of their relations, not to mention a very tortuous post pandemic recovery.

CLAPS! CANDLES! CORONA!

India. So many aspects to consider about your own country. Let’s start with stats. ‘Cause I love maths. 18,985 cases, 3,260 recoveries and 603 deaths.

Initially, I didn’t think the Coronavirus would affect us at all. Even as reports of Wuhan Virus were spreading, I was chilling out, blissfully unaware of the impending doom. When the CoronaVirus cases spread to Bangalore, mid March, is when things went down for real. We’re talking lockdowns, quarantines, people on tik-tok, people on Instagram nominating each other for meaningless challenges just so they can have some social interaction. The extroverts were losing it. The adults had to work from home. The graduates had to sleep, er, Study from home. Even the oil prices had sunk now, because there was too much supply and too little demand. The message was clear to most of us: STAY AT HOME AND SAVE THE WORLD.

And yet, there was a section of society far far away from ours, but very very close to ours, who, in times of a global crisis, chose anarchy over common sense. Let’s rant.

Doctors were attacked in Indore

Nurses and doctors in Mumbai were harassed by their neighbours

Citizens of Hyderabad were panic buying groceries. Guess their favourite GoT character. Thassright! HOARD-OR.

People played prison break with quarantine in Gujarat, Kerala, Punjab and Telangana.

Misinformation is spread about eating meat and various underlying reasons of the COVID-19 Outbreak owing to misuse of the popular messaging app, WhatsApp. 

On the insistence of Narendra Modi, some people took the claps and candles movement into their streets, openly defying preventative social distancing measures

Wikipedia had to change editing criteria of their article on the 2020 pandemic, to stall the spread of misinformation

Farmers and daily wage labourers suffered major setbacks, even having to starve for days on end as they don’t have access to food, water and shelter.

All around the country, cops were being harassed for imposing the lockdown regulations. Some members of the radical group, Nihang, brutally cut off the hand of a policeman after being asked to stall.

Muslim gatherings organised by the Tablighi Jamaat has resulted in a large increase in COVID-19 cases, which has triggered Islamophobic reactions and increased communal tension. TJ is that one member of the group who irritates the teacher and makes the whole group get an F. When quarantined in the hospital, they were found to be misbehaving. They’re not helping their case. 

Kota kids caught Corona. Give them some sunshine, give them some rain. 

Prevalent misinformation also led to brutal lynching of three people in Maharashtra.

All of the above can be tied to misinformation and mob mentality. This impulsive behaviour has put all of us at a greater risk of COVID-19.

GOOOONE IN THE USA!

USA is now the leading country in the count of COVID-19 cases. And the number of Covidiots.

People from all over the country took to the streets to protest against the lockdown measures, proving once and for all, that the country is going through a rebellious phase, what with choosing Trump as its President just to annoy its sensible parents. 

The sheer lack of responsibility is shocking. 

HOPE FOR THE FUTURE

A vaccine is being developed in European countries. However, it may be a long time before it gets to a human testing phase. Bill and Melinda gates Foundation has already donated $250million into its research and development. An additional estimate of $2 billion will be required to finalise a cure.

CONCLUSION

This is an advisory issued in public interest.

We’re all in this together. Stay safe. Practice good hygiene. If you’re privileged enough to have good immunity, don’t ruin it for those who don’t by being a disease vector. This is probably not the best time to spread propaganda. Or diseases. Pick up a hobby. Finish that assignment your teacher asked you about last decade. Grow a beard. Get a life. Support people who may not have access to food and clean water. But, whenever you can, maintain 1 Amitabh Bacchan distance between yourself and other human beings. Seriously, when else will you get the chance to save the world from the comfort of your couch?

[squirrelsave]

Covid-19: A Chance To Define Your Investment Behaviour

Greed & Fear shapes investment experience, which in turn defines future (gambling) behaviour

In my previous blog, I talked about one’s investing experience driven by greed and fear – seared into memories that shape our future behaviour. I shared that the swings between excessive greed and excessive fear lead to behaviour that is like gambling.

Let me start with my personal investment (gambling) behaviour.

I have seen many crises in my government and financial career. Some severe. Some very severe. I recall the 1987 market crash, 1991 recession, 1997-98 Asian Financial Crisis, 2000 Dotcom bust, 2007-2008 Global Financial Crisis, 2015 China market crash, and many more geopolitical and military conflicts in between. I remember struggling to deal with my emotions of watching grown men cry at a hawker centre in Bukit Merah after the 1987 Black Monday market crash.

I had just started working. Coming from a low-income family, I never had more than $20 in my post office savings account. When I was growing up, almost any “hongbao” money collected by us siblings during Chinese New Year was handed back to our parents for recycling. What little family money was often spent on lottery tickets and horse races. Hence, my anti-gambling attitude.

I had a little more cash when I enlisted into the military and remember being so happy to see “$90” printed - letter by letter - credited to my little blue book. So whatever money I had, I saved. Despite my economics and accounting degree, I only focused on public policy and did not look at investing – only in my meagre bank savings account.

Our saving, spending and sharing behaviours are largely shaped by our personal experiences.

So, combined with my childhood money experience, the “Bukit Merah experience” was a shock to my confidence in investing (gambling). It confirmed the dangers of investing, where seemingly career established and grown men can break down and cry. You can lose it all or almost. And for those who are old enough (I am), I had to ingest the almost daily news saturation of the so-called “Pan-Electric Crisis” [1] in 1985 and its aftermath – before returning to Singapore to complete my remaining National Service term.

Now Looking Back Rationally…

For many, memories of these crises and many smaller crises -which at some point threatened global or regional stability - have largely faded. For example, during the 2008 Global Financial Crisis, how many remember the stress of wondering if your ATM card would work the next day and the contagion spreading from one failing bank to a suspicion of a bank that everyone takes for granted as being as “solid as a rock”. As the founder of a fast-growing wealth management business, I did. The lesson I take away is that such fears beyond the original cause can - in themselves – cause self-fulfilling prophesies.

Looking back, we have mostly recovered from these crises. But every crisis has definitive casualties who will never forget. These are the defining moments. Extremely painful. It’s like how you feel after a painful, lung-crushing and heart collapsing run. You can’t feel your legs. Only your brain feeling the pure weight of lead – whenever you lift one foot to take a tiny small step. Yes, we have all been there.

But like all painful mental daggers, a sense of light-headed comfort and relaxation accompanied by an innate sense of accomplishment will come soon – when recovering from that pain. That’s the defining moment to be seared into memory while the filling melts into obscurity – for future retrieval.

Like every crisis, every life has its defining moments. But we choose what we recall and what we repress. For a generation, it will be a shared defining moment with individual variation in tint and intensity. But still, a defining moment nonetheless for future recall.

…and here is how I hope your investment (not gambling) experience will be shaped for the better.

First, let’s see where Covid-19 stands [2].

As of 27 March 2020:

Almost 600,000 confirmed cases and over 27,000 deaths across 199 countries [3]. What’s important to note about the numbers is the pattern.

USA (102K confirmed) now exceeds China (82K) in terms of confirmed cases.

China is recovering with life slowly returning to normal.

Second, let’s assess the likely scenarios of how the world will respond.

Cautiously Optimistic Case: Covid-19 is seasonal and will continue spreading widely in the Western Hemisphere until end-April. With over 2 billion in lockdown, Asia peaks earlier. Safe distancing slows the spread and healthcare capacity catches up. But the very same measures that Covid-19 causes rising unemployment as consumer demand collapses. Financial stress and bankruptcy soar. We see a global recession until September 2020 before a slow recovery.

Pessimistic Case: Covid-19 is not seasonal and continues spreading in the Western Hemisphere until end-May because of poor management and leadership in the public-health response. Countries that managed to tame the spread continue public-health measures to prevent resurgence – leading to a deeper global economic impact as supply chains are disrupted. Fiscal and monetary policies fail to dampen the negative economic impact. Global recovery begins in the second half of 2021.

Currently, China seems to have contained Covid-19, but the economic impact is still severe [4].

This is historic. China’s GDP will fall in 1Q2020 - the first time since 1976.

Currently, about half the USA population is on stay-at-home (SHN) orders. The week ending March 21, USA unemployment claims reached a record 3.3 million. In contrast, the Global Financial Crisis recorded a high of 665,000.

The IMF is forecasting a global recession in 2020. On the bright side, some analysts are forecasting a recovery as early as the third quarter of 2020.

What do these all mean for a true investor?

Currently, analyst opinions are a dime a dozen. So is mine. Beware.

The difference is that my opinion doesn’t really matter anymore. Why?

Having lived long enough and dipping into my childhood traumas, I have finally decided to confront my investment (gambling) demons. I have lost more money than I have risked over the years – whenever I invested in individual stocks. How many stocks can I really track? And now - even more, as markets become global - and I do need my sleep. And even as I track individual stocks, what advantage do I get – when information and speculative rumours abound in real-time within cyberspace?

When I was an investment analyst when the internet was not yet ubiquitous, I would walk the ground visiting plantations and factories to count the number of loaded container trucks versus what management claimed – rather than follow what other analysts opined from their office chairs. I could get some information advantage because a phone call (even expensive international calls) was faster than me typing on a PC and sending it via a 9600 bps speed fax modem (warning: age test here!). And it mostly worked! But not anymore. Now, companies dish out information in real-time, simultaneously and globally. There is no time advantage. Prices of stocks are now available 24/7, literally right on your toilet seat. So, it is more sheer buying and selling power that will move stock prices.

In short, everyone can have an opinion, and share it instantly with anyone, anytime, anywhere.

The hard truth is that if you are so good, then why are you still an analyst? Or an investment manager? Why do you have to manage someone else’s money? The hard truth is that your method is to make money from someone else’s money – sometimes, even when that someone else loses money!

So, think again why you have money invested in a unit trust or mutual fund. What are the charges? Are the fees aligned with the performance of the so-called investment? Read my blog about unit trusts if you wish to get more insights.

It means that as a true investor, picking stocks is like picking a horse. Picking the horse race is like picking the industry sector. Picking which country is hosting the horse race is like deciding the geographical stock market you want to bet in. And that’s it. Buying and selling stocks is betting.

Sure, we may say what we need to professionalize, rationalize, regularize - whatever. In effect, we’re justifying why gambling at a horse race is different from investing (trading) in the stock market. Good luck (no pun intended)! There is simply no ample justification. Buying and selling stocks is like gambling. There is no complete information. Professionally, we are taught to diversify our bets. Sure, we try. But honestly, how do we do that diversification? Mostly and truthfully, by my individual gut feel, the seniority of my title, how dependent the bosses are on me or how loud I can be, among other personal dominance strategies.

A true investor must not do any of the above. Worse, a true investor should not be outsourcing such gambling behaviour to someone else who claims to be a better gambler through experience or professional titles – and still charge me one of the highest fees in the world [5]!

A true investor must now use the latest technology to find the best possible return for the risks you are willing to take. For those who are unsure what risks, try our proprietary gamified risk profiler which uses data analytics to predict a suitable investment risk for you – based on your time horizon versus your age, your income stability, your risk-taking style and investment knowledge garnered through a simple 2-minute game.

Replacing Human Emotions with SquirrelSave AI

In 2016, I decided to leverage artificial intelligence (AI) to improve investment outcomes by replacing the alternating currents of human emotions - greed and fear – with real-time 24/7 data analytics.

Don’t get me wrong here. There have been algorithm trading systems for years. These are mostly trade-secrets and you will not know the rules by which the algorithms have been constructed. These are what we call “alpha” trading systems – which maximizes returns. These are “black-boxes”.

SquirrelSave AI is transparent. Read all about it here. Our investment outcome follows Nobel Prize-winning Markowitz Portfolio Optimization which searches for the highest probable return for a given risk level chosen. The key technical challenge all these years was to predict and stabilize the risk. With AI techniques such as machine learning and the real-time financial datasets available cheaply, it is now possible to replace the human gut feel approach with a disciplined time horizon driven AI machine learning system to diversify across stocks, sectors, geographies and asset classes. And that’s what we built SquirrelSave to be.

Now before you ask me how SquirrelSave performs, think of the risk management first. Ours is not an “alpha” returns maximizing system (which also means a risk of maximum loss). Ours is not a “beta” passive system which simply follows the market. Ours is a dynamic asset allocation system that combines alpha and beta. We diversify based on data analytics which machine learning has taken over – since SquirrelSave’s basic logic was trained in 2016 and validated since then till today. Between risk and return, SquirrelSave is more towards risk management. And it is important to emphasize that SquirrelSave is not a fund. You get your own personal portfolio. Your portfolio is managed by SquirrelSave according to the time horizon you input and your age. Hence, it is very likely that in the short term, you will not see SquirrelSave making buy and sell decisions simply because markets are gyrating due to Covid-19 fears or because interest rates are set at zero.

[1] The Pan Electric Crisis, 1985 – History.sg

[2] Covid-19 is an evolving human tragedy, affecting all humankind with a deep impact livelihoods. Hence, some data in this blog will soon be out of date. Go online to get the latest data.

[3] https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ Note that data variability is wide due to the different standards of testing, reporting efficiency and health capabilities, among other causal factors.

[4] China National Bureau of Statistics

[5] Business Times, “Singapore mutual funds charge 'higher fees than global average'”, 19 Sep 2019

--

Originally posted on SquirrelSave blog

https://squirrelsave.com.sg/blog/covid-19-defining-investment-experience.html

[biofunmy]

Here’s Some Money Advice: Just Buy the Coffee

Welcome to the Smarter Living newsletter! Every Monday, Tim Herrera emails readers with tips and advice for living a better, more fulfilling life. Sign up here to get it in your inbox.

I’m calling it right now: This is the summer of bad personal finance advice.

An industry of experts exists to advise us on how to spend our money. Some of those experts are truly on your side and sincerely want to help you be better with money. Some of those experts are … not exactly on your side, and are perhaps more interested in riling us up about our spending. It can be difficult to tell them apart, and it makes our already-fraught relationship with money even worse.

Earlier this month CNBC generated an outrage cycle about money advice by tweeting this story, in which the personal finance professional Suze Orman claimed that buying coffee means “you are peeing $1 million down the drain as you are drinking that coffee.” (Even the legendary writer Susan Orlean weighed in.) Earlier this summer, USA Today generated a similar negative buzz when it published an article from the money website The Motley Fool that claimed Americans waste an average of $18,000 a year on “nonessential items,” which they said included personal grooming, gym memberships, restaurants, coffee and lunch. These are all on top of similarly shaming articles that tell us we’re not rich because we sleep in and travel; because we buy shoes and jeans; and, of course, because we buy too much coffee.

While it is true that every one of us — including yours truly — can and should be smarter about spending, these small, sometimes necessary purchases are a just a sliver of a much wider story about our struggles with money that, in large part, can be traced back to the Great Recession, the debt load for younger Americans and broader trends about wage stagnation.

“For Americans under the age of 40, the 21st century has resembled one long recession,” the Times columnist David Leonhardt wrote earlier this year. “I realize that may sound like an exaggeration, given that the economy has now been growing for almost a decade. But the truth is that younger Americans have not benefited much.”

So, no, your coffee habit is not the reason you aren’t a millionaire, nor are the haircuts you get or the gym membership you have. But how can we improve our financial situation when we’re being shamed for enjoying a latte? Who can we trust? Is the advice we’re reading truly advice or is it meant to sell us something? It’s a mess!

To get some answers, I talked to an actual expert who is on our side: Tara Siegel Bernard, a personal finance reporter for The Times and one of the sharpest minds working in this space. Below is a conversation I had with her about the state of personal finance advice, along with what we can do to truly improve our financial well-being. (And let me know on Twitter what money-saving tips have worked for you.)

Tim Herrera: So I feel like we’re in this weird bubble where a lot of personal finance advice is centered around tiny expenses, like coffee, snacks, occasional lunches or other small indulges. I hate it! Those are usually the things that make life worth living! So I’ll start with the question we’re all wondering: Will skipping coffee make me a millionaire?

Tara Siegel Bernard: The short answer: no. It’s silly. It’s a superficial way to get at the “needs versus wants” question, but it’s not a particularly smart one. Or maybe it’s just easier to blame people for overspending on coffee because it’s a lot more difficult to give advice on the many things they cannot control: wages not keeping pace with the cost of living, the high cost of health insurance, housing, child care, paying for college, etc. But … coffee! You can control the coffee!

All of that said, we should try to be thoughtful about spending. We’re constantly making choices and trade-offs that affect our financial and emotional well-being. Should I pay more for housing so I can live closer to work and spend less time on the train and more time with family and friends? Or should I pay less for a home but increase my commuting stress? Those types of financial decisions — how much house to buy, for example, or buying a more economical car — will go a lot further than agonizing over lattes.

TH: Yes! And I feel that focusing on tiny purchases just ends up making people feel bad and shamed about their spending — like there’s something wrong with them because they lack the willpower not to buy a latte. We all have enough anxiety about money, why does this stuff keep coming up?

TSB: It seems like a quick fix, something we can easily control. But I’m willing to bet that the headlines that accompany these types of stories and tweets generate a lot of clicks.

TH: So while we’re doing a little myth-busting, are there any other especially bad pieces of money advice that have seeped into the public consciousness you’d like to shoot down?

TSB: There’s a myth, or at least a misunderstanding, that investing needs to be hard and complicated, or that you will do better with the more “sophisticated” investments that wealthy people have access to. It’s just not true. If anything, it’s often a marketing tool to push some newfangled mutual fund or investment that you just don’t need.

There is a learning curve, even with the most basic investments, for those just getting acquainted with saving and investing. But it can be boiled down to the following: Buy a collection of low-cost investments like index funds, which will track different certain segments of the stock and bond markets, that provide exposure to businesses around the world. The most important factor is coming up with the right mix of aggressive investments (stocks) and conservative ones (bonds) that you can stomach — and there are smart financial pros who can help you with that.

The quality of any advice you receive depends on who is providing it. Wall Street regulators just passed new rules that, advocates say, may make it even more difficult to distinguish between which financial pros are acting in your best interest. The onus remains on us to sort it all out.

TH: Clearing away all the clutter, very simply: What are a few things average people could do today or this week to improve their overall financial well-being?

TSB: It has become much easier to be an unconscious spender. Within a relatively short period of time, subscription-based businesses are everywhere, and they’re probably betting that most of us will forget to turn off these services when we don’t need them anymore. Unsubscribing to something is a quick little win. It’s not going to make you a millionaire, but you can comfortably buy a cup of coffee with the proceeds. You might also check out our 7-day Money Challenge, which helps you tackle one simple task each day to help improve your financial life.

Here’s another easy one: Do you know what sort of perks your employer provides? Do you commute to work? Do you plan on buying a new pair of glasses? Your employer might have programs that allow you to buy all of these things with money from your paycheck before it has been taxed. If you’re in the 24 percent tax bracket, that translates into a $24 discount on your $100 prescription sunglasses. You might also be able to set aside up to $5,000 pretax for child care expenses. Open enrollment for all of these things — commuter programs, flexible spending, dependent care accounts — tends to happen in the fall, so check with your employer if you haven’t already signed up.

Earning more money always helps, too. Keep a written record of your accomplishments at work and ask for raises when you can build a case. Research shows this can be particularly tricky for women, which is something I’ve written about over the years. (Here’s some advice on asking for a raise.)

It’s also worthwhile to take a deep dive into your finances once every three to five years to get a better grasp on where your money is going and how it’s working for you. I’m a fan of getting advice from a professional, even if it’s only occasionally, to help hold you accountable. (Just be sure the adviser promises to act as a fiduciary, which means your interests are always put first.)

TH: Last question: What’s one piece of financial advice you wish you had known at the start of your career?

TSB: I wish I would have been better at seeing how much more I could’ve saved and invested. I think I knew that I had to save enough to get a matching contribution from my employer, but I should’ve tried harder to see how much further I could’ve gone. It might not have been much, but it would’ve raised my consciousness on the whole “save early and often” idea, and how much that can help later in life. Just going through the exercise helps.

During roll call, my teachers used to pause before sputtering out a chopped-liver version of my name. At appointments, interviews and coffee shops, it suffers a similar treatment. (That’s if people don’t freeze, waiting for me to break the painful silence.)

Butchering someone’s name is the ultimate of bad first impressions. So ensues a domino effect of uncomfortable social exchanges that at best sour someone’s day and at worst deem a relationship dead before it’s had a fair shot. “What’s in a name?” Shakespeare challenged. Well, easy for him to say. Try these tips next time the cat’s got your tongue over an unfamiliar moniker.

Don’t Assume

English class taught us to “sound it out,” but people’s names — especially those roughly transliterated from other languages — play by their own rules. Simply put: If you’re unsure if you know how to pronounce it correctly, you probably don’t.

Just Ask

The simplest solution of all is simply to ask, “How do you say your name?” Doing so is not only respectful, it saves about 10 minutes of correcting, joking and pretending the whole situation isn’t just awkward.

Spell It Out

If afforded the luxury (or if all else fails), there’s always the option of taking it letter by letter. Chances are the person whose name you handled with such tender care will make themselves known midway and, most important, be so grateful.

Sahred From Source link Business

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can t afford employer health insurance

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Kennedy Meeks' Personality Has Won Over the Raptors and His Game Might, Too

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports Canada.

Had you walked into any room that Kennedy Meeks occupied during the course of Las Vegas Summer League this week, your eyes would have been drawn to him immediately. At 6'9", he doesn't necessarily stand out in a sea of NBA players and hopefuls, but there is a palpable gravitational pull from his personality. He is often laughing, almost always smiling, and making quick friends of nearly everyone.

"His personality's great, right?" says Jama Mahlalela, co-coach of the Toronto Raptors' Summer League team. "He's kind of that big teddy bear type personality. He's good with everyone, you can tell he's sort of developed those skills."

Ask around the Raptors organization, and Meeks is on everyone's short list of favorite people they've met during years of the pre-draft process. Talk to his current teammates in Vegas, and Meeks is a common, almost unanimous answer as someone players have gotten to know in the chaotic week-plus in which chemistry is either forged quickly or isn't forged at all. Speak to his former North Carolina teammates, and it's clear that Meeks is a connector between people and a link between teams.

It's hard to find someone with an unkind word to say about Meeks, the person, which is a big part of the reason the Raptors have invested in Meeks, the basketball player.

"It's hard to not love his personality," says Raptors assistant general manager Dan Tolzman. "He's gonna come and he's gonna light up a room in terms of his approach. It's hard to not be drawn to guys like that. We talk about it all the time, whether it's assignment players or two-ways or G-League guys—the more that it's easy with them, the less maintenance, and the more they buy in to the situation they're in and being a part of the big extended family, the better it is for everybody."

Meeks helped North Carolina win a national championship in his senior year. Photo by Mark J. Rebilas-USA Today Sports

To be clear, the Raptors are intrigued by Meeks as a basketball player, too.

While he went undrafted after four years at North Carolina, the Raptors moved swiftly to bring him into the fold. The deal hasn't been officially announced, but the Raptors signed Meeks to what's known as an Exhibit 10 contract in late June. It's a deal the Raptors can convert to an NBA contract or one of the league's new two-way contracts but in all likelihood will see Meeks come to training camp with the team then become a G-League affiliate player, earning a $50,000 bonus as a supplement to his G-League salary if he sticks around a certain amount of time.

"I think the Toronto Raptors staff believed in me from the jump. I know the business. They only had one pick, and I honestly think if they had a second one, then they would have picked me," Meeks says. "That's not the way it goes sometimes. Everything isn't a fairytale. I'm the type of person that's always optimistic and likes to think ahead and always believes in myself, so that's the main thing I focus on each and every time."

And so he has faith he'll eventually fight his way onto the roster. For now, he's a part of their Vegas team, scoring 27 points on 22 shots with 13 rebounds in 37 minutes. It's a solid start to his professional career, making an immediate short-burst impact as the team's played to a 3-1 mark.

That's a lot of scoring in a hurry, and he hasn't exactly been shy trying to impress. From an analytic perspective, the Raptors feel his elite rebounding should translate, and his defensive metrics are friendlier than his reputation in terms of impact at that end. His free-throw percentage and a lack of 3-point attempts would suggest he doesn't have much future as a shooter, but there is system context to what range he could show, and the Raptors are believers in his ability to eventually stretch the shot out.

For his part, Meeks was just eager to show that range out of the gate in Vegas. With his friend J. Cole sitting courtside—yes, that J. Cole, with whom Meeks has grown close through some mutual friends, and who hooked up tickets to his concert the night prior (again: people really like Meeks)—Meeks stepped into a feathery triple, his first three since high school.

Not everyone loves Meeks as a prospect, something he's keenly aware of (and willing to debate). Among the primary public draft rankings, Meeks didn't register in any top 60. Four years (itself often considered a negative) of plateaued production make him anything but a sure thing. There are concerns about his athleticism, about his defense, and, as has been the case since he was a 300-pound high-schooler, about his conditioning.

Meeks dropped about 30 pounds over the course of his college career, and the Raptors are hopeful that getting under the umbrella of an NBA organization will help him further refine his body. The Raptors also play more methodically than the up-and-down Tar Heels, and there's now the added incentive of the NBA being in close proximity.

"With the right carrot in front of him or the proper staffers that we have pushing him and getting him to the point and really working on him and driving him, he has the ability to—we've seen it, he's gone from where he was in high school to where he is now, and now with all our resources, where can we get him to next?" Tolzman says. "That's what's intriguing about him."

For now, Meeks is mostly keeping it simple—the effect of small changes like more water and proper sleep know no bounds—and doing what's suggested. It seems somewhat shocking given the limitations that were attached to Meeks' scouting profile entering the draft, but he even has eyes on a transition to power forward. The Raptors are deep at center but a little thin at the four, and Meeks is nothing if not pragmatic.

"It's a little more difficult when you're getting out in transition and you forget to stay outside 'cause you're so used to going down low and running to the front of the rim and posting up, and those type of things. I'm always up to learn something new, and these guys do a great job of trying to help me," Meeks says. "I'm pretty sure I won't play center in the NBA. I'll pretty much be a power forward. I mighta just lucked up, man. To play behind Serge [Ibaka] isn't too bad."

The Raptors can see it, too, though it's going to take some time. He'll need every bit of his nice post footwork to materialize in terms of lateral movement as he slims down further and strays from the paint, and he'll need his soft touch around the rim to materialize in consistent range. If everything falls into place, the Raptors can squint and see an exceptional rebounding power forward with a solid face-up game and at least show-me range.

Always smiling. Photo by Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

"I think he has an innate skill for the game. I think he has a feel for spacing and where to go," Mahlalela says. "Now, the biggest challenge with him is he's been a five traditionally his entire career, and now we're looking at him [and wondering] can he be a four in our system in an NBA brand of basketball? He's now trying to rework his spacing, so that innate feel that he has for the game, he now needs to replace it and figure it out at a different position. So it's actually been a pretty big growth curve for him, figuring out what he does at the four versus the five. He's taking steps every day with that."

The natural feel Meeks has for the game comes up often. A big part of Toronto's faith in his ability to transition and develop is borne from that intelligence on the floor, and it's something that makes itself clear not only to teammates but to those observing the team throughout the week.

"Meeks is an interesting player in that he knows how to play," Raptors head coach Dwane Casey says. "Not overly athletic but smart, played in a great program at Carolina. He's done a good job of reading situations and doing the fundamental things. Great hands, soft hands, the way he scores around the basket with not a lot of explosion. He's a very interesting player for our team. I know Kennedy's done an excellent job of getting in great shape, he's lost a lot of weight, he could lose more and he probably will. He has some intangibles that you can't teach."

It can be difficult to stare at a depth chart here in mid-July, with several more camp invites to be handed out, and try to figure exactly where an undrafted free agent might fit. The Raptors theoretically have a hole at power forward, but if Meeks' transition is going to take some time, it might be a project better undertaken with Raptors 905. If he's a center, the Raptors aren't exactly in need. He might disagree.

"Oh no, I'm focused on making the team, for sure," Meeks says. "Like I said, I always believe, above and beyond. I think they also believe that, too. I can bring the rebounds to the game, I can bring the low-post scoring, and I can set the big-time screens. My main goal is to make the team and whatever happens happens after that."

Things change quickly, as Toronto's offseason can attest. However things shake out, the Raptors would be thrilled to have Meeks somewhere in the organization, adding another beacon of the culture they're trying to instill. Wherever he winds up, he figures to be the most popular person in the room.

Kennedy Meeks' Personality Has Won Over the Raptors and His Game Might, Too published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv