#i think the texas pit demon possessed me or something

[fru1tt0ast]

i was recently overcome with a horrid illness that left me delirious and in pain for days, so naturally i drew dutch and hosea. clearly the only rational thing to do.

[letterboxd]

How I Letterboxd #7: Cinemonster.

Hooptober’s head honcho opens up to Jack Moulton about his love for Texas-born horror director Tobe Hooper, the joys of running Letterboxd’s most beloved Hallowe’en community challenge, and the “terrifying, magical” experience of seeing Frankenstein at the age of four.

“You can’t spell October without Tobe.” —Cinemonster

Cinemonster, known to his family and friends as David Hood, is a restaurateur in Pittsburgh by day, and the head honcho of Hooptober by night. Now in its seventh year, the horror film challenge sees participants set their own 31-day viewing agenda of 31 films, curated according to a list of criteria set by its creator.

‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ (1974), directed by Tobe Hooper.

With over 5,000 films logged on Letterboxd and a growing collection of posters, DVDs, Blu-rays, laser discs and film memorabilia, Cinemonster is a literal monster of cinema. He has created more than 500 lists, including a ton of year, director, actor, actress, franchise and memoriam lists.

What brought you to Letterboxd? I found Letterboxd while I was doing a Google search for a horror film that I had forgotten the name of. I ran into a list that Hollie Horror had made and wound up starting a profile and it went from there. That would have been a little over seven years ago.

How freakin’ cool is last year’s Hallowe’en Easter egg with the dripping blood from our logo? [Pro members get this added to their pages by mentioning #horror in their bio.] I’m a fan.

Unfortunately I haven’t heard of a single one of your four profile favorites! What’s urging you to highlight these films? They are just lesser-seen and have something good or great about them. Eyeball is a great little underseen Umberto Lenzi film. Death Machines is an awkward, weird and wonderful film with kung fu and blood. Massacre at Central High is one of my favorite films and sadly lacking a disc release of any kind—anyone who has seen Heathers will recognize a couple of things if they watch it. Rituals is a criminally underseen stalked in the woods film from the ’70s.

In this this list description, you explain how the original Frankenstein (1931) hooked you into horror at four years old. Can you describe what you most remember about that life-changing experience? It was both magical and terrifying. The space, the creature, the little girl. I had trouble sleeping for weeks afterwards. No matter where I am in the world, if there is a screening of Frank, I’ll go. I watched most of the major universals by the time I was six or seven. I saw Alien and Jaws 2 with my folks and those stuck with me. Cable and a local UHF station showing Hammer films on Saturdays are what really allowed me to get sucked in.

‘Frankenstein’ (1931), directed by James Whale.

The horror films of 1980 and 1981 were the most impactful and are the ones that mean the most to me to this day; Fade to Black, Night School, Motel Hell, The Fog, Alligator, Altered States, Terror Train, Death Ship, Scanners, An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, The Funhouse, Dead & Buried, Hell Night, Wolfen, Ghost Story, The Pit and Evilspeak. I saw all of them five to ten-plus times on cable as a kid. They’re still all high on my list. I am glad that Fade to Black is on Shudder. People need to watch it. More relevant now than then.

What exactly provoked you to start Hooptober seven years ago? I moved into an old spooky house and had a backlog of Blu-rays to watch and the 4K of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was about to come out. I’d done some interactive stuff on Letterboxd previously and had a decent amount of people involved. I was also at a point in my life where 31 films in 31 days is tough, as it is for a lot of us now. So I thought ‘Why don’t I do something that starts a little early, clears some of my list out, and has some parameters that don’t feel like I am handing out an assignment?’ I grew up in Texas, Tobe [Hooper] is close to my heart, and with all the Hooper I owned and the 4K coming out, I decided to christen it with his name. You can’t spell October without Tobe.

What’s the most members that have participated in a Hooptober? The number of people who participated was a little more than I expected, but that wasn’t what I was surprised by. I never thought of it as a recurring event until I started to hear from people the following summer about ‘the next one’. I just kinda chuckled after about a dozen people had asked and I said out loud to no one, “I guess I’m doing another one of these”. We are well over 700 this year, and still climbing.

‘Fade to Black’ (1980), directed by Vernon Zimmerman.

Where do you get the ideas for the rules for films to consider watching? At this point, I look back at past years so that I don’t repeat myself. I look to the current year for inspiration. Is there a film from a sub-genre that was prominent? Was it a strong year for output from women, Mexico, Asia, Black filmmakers, something cultural, and so on? I may focus on effects creators, an actor or writer on a whim. I try to keep an eye out for blind spots I haven’t covered. Shudder, archive.org, the big streamers are all resources. Sadly, rarefilmm no longer exists.

In last year’s interview with Merry-Go-Round magazine, you mentioned plans to turn Hooptober into a film festival. How’s that going? In a post-pandemic world, how can we keep independent niche film festivals thriving? The world has not been agreeable, obviously. I’m not even sure how viable something like that will be next year. I’ve been taking a look at streaming options. Post-pandemic will require more creativity and outside-the-box thinking, and will probably continue to feed some drive-ins. Been a while since more than a handful of people wanted to put money into a drive-in, which is nice to see.

I’m going to do a tweet along to The Witch Who Came From the Sea in October, and I’ll give you an exclusive here: The George Romero Foundation and I are doing online Horror Trivia on October 11. I had been doing it live with them here in Pittsburgh until the pandemic.

Based on this year’s rules and conditions, if there was one essential you-can’t-miss film you could force all your participants to add to their challenge, which film would it be? Demons, Eve’s Bayou or The Witch Who Came From the Sea.

‘The Witch Who Came from the Sea’ (1976), directed by Matt Cimber.

What have been your own greatest film discoveries through your Hooptober adventures? A Tale of Two Sisters, I Drink Your Blood, Blood Diner, and though it is a bit of a cheat to list this one, The Amusement Park. It’s cheating because it didn’t exist as something that I or anyone else could have watched, prior to when I saw it.

Do you have any acclaimed horror movies still lingering in your list of shame? Eyes Without a Face, Upgrade, Cure and Scream 4.

Have you ever completed one of your own Hooptober challenges yet? Errrrrrrrrr, one. I’m on track this year.

What about the participants over the years—any Letterboxd friends you’ve made who would you like to give a shout-out to? Aaron, Sarah Jane and Chris Duck are people that I talk to outside of Letterboxd. There have been a few others over the years. Slappy McGee has helped me with Hooptober the last two years. They are great. Javo and David Lawrence are pretty great, too.

Before Hooptober, many of your lists invited discussion with your followers. In what ways is Letterboxd the ideal forum to foster a community of film fans? Fans exercise their fandom in so many ways. The platform is so flexible that it allows you to utilize it in a small and personal way, in a promotional way, or to dive into the community pool and see who’s out there that shares something with you or can show you something. The more people that we are exposed to and listen to, we are all the better for.

Which of your review—from any genre—are you proudest of? The Invisible Man or The Hustler, probably. I have a capsule of Hud that I like.

So, you’re the horror guy. Nobody is denying that. You are Cinemonster, after all. But when I look at your top movies list and see that Singin’ in the Rain is your all-time number one, I’ll need you to explain yourself. I go back and forth between that and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. They are 1A and 1B in some order. Singin’ in the Rain is a perfect film and the studio system at its best. I will ignore your implied insult. ;)

‘Fear of a Black Hat’ (1993), directed by Rusty Cundieff.

It’s true, even a horror aficionado needs some levity in their life. What other comedies pick you up from a dark place? Fear of a Black Hat always does the trick. Same with The Awful Truth, Murder by Death, Hollywood Shuffle, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Blazing Saddles, Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Black Dynamite.

Who has been keeping you company during this tough year? I have watched thirteen Spike Lee films so far this year. I’ve taken a break the last few months, but I’ll probably knock out five or six more. With the exception of 25th Hour, everything is a revisit. It’s been a joy to go back through everything. Crooklyn is much stronger than I remembered, and Bamboozled just gets better and more impactful as time passes. I have loved Spike since the day I saw School Daze. His films have always connected with things that are important to me and to those that have been around me. Lee is still grossly under-appreciated as a narrative film director and a documentarian.

We’re bowing down to your epic Blu-ray and DVD collection. Which ones are your most prized possessions? Make us jealous. I have an Anchor Bay DVD of Dawn of the Dead signed by the cast and George A. Romero, a steelbook of Battle Royale, the first Slumber Party Massacre set before they had to reprint the box, the original Star Wars trilogy on Blu. I’m sure there are things I’m not thinking of. I have a lot of out-of-print and laser-only stuff. I’ll never get rid of my Holy Grail, Ghostbusters and Akira Criterion laser discs.

A selection of Cinemonster’s signed memorabilia.

I have a copy of Painting with Light signed by John Alton, John Waters and Steven Soderbergh I’ll send you a picture of. I used to collect movie posters, and I have the original Revenge of the Jedi one-sheet and the Drew Struzan Squirm poster. I do love those.

From your top directors list, let’s put one horror director on a pedestal. Who does the genre better than anyone else and why? George. They’re always topical, intelligent, thoughtful, personal and sometimes prescient. At their best they hold up both a mirror and a crystal ball. He was writing found-footage scripts in the early 70s, for god’s sake. Tobe is grossly under-appreciated. James Whale and Mario Bava could scare you in so many ways.

So, thinking beyond Ari Aster, Robert Eggers and Jordan Peele, which up-and-coming horror directors are you most excited about? Issa López, Gigi Saúl Guerrero, Benson and Moorhead, Shinichiro Ueda, Na Hong-jin, Julia Ducournau, Nia DaCosta, Jeremy Gardner and Leigh Whannell.

The 2010s were a great decade for horror. We have more money on-screen, moving away from the low-budget films of the 2000s. Which favorite horror film of the last decade inspired you the most? Get Out. What Jordan did for generations to come is unmatched in this century.

Chucky from ‘Child’s Play’ (1988).

Which probably-too-long horror franchise gets too much flak and is top-to-bottom a great time? Child’s Play. Chucky has always been treated generally as second tier. [That franchise] has tried a lot of interesting and out-there things during its lifespan that had no business working, but did.

I know it’s been a slow year but you haven’t logged many 2020 movies yet! Which is your most anticipated horror movie of 2020 or 2021? Peninsula, for sure; I love Train to Busan. Then Candyman, The Dark and the Wicked, Grizzly II: Revenge, Bad Hair, #Alive, After Midnight, The Platform, Bulbbul, Underwater, Shirley and Swallow.

Interview by Jack Moulton. Follow Jack on Letterboxd.

[thesirhandsome-tepalehuia]

PIT-BULL attack

Against my better judgment, i undergo the pain of typing this to you as you will comprehend later in the story. The day warmed up nicely as the sun shone and the world was happy so, I opted to walk to pick up the nieta from school. On my way, I reconned the pecan trees, underneath from which we were going to harvest a fresh crops on our way home. Although I had forgotten my glasses, the celephone showed the time was 3:37pm; I was making good time. Nearing the school, the two chihuahuas barked after me, as they do every day and I ignored them, as I do every day until they went back home. Then, I noticed, two houses ahead, something new. A pit-bull dog staring at me with the blood-lust glare and his every muscle flexed in his ready to kill posture. My instinct told me, as I continued my quick pace, that ignoring this one was hardly going to work and my eyes strained to see if there was, hopefully, a leash or tether of some sort securing the apparently vicious beast. Far off in the driveway, I could make out the head of a man cleaning the cab of the backed-in pickup truck, in front of which the dog stood preparing to make his kill. I faced in the direction of my walk without showing fear or slowing my gate but, my focus, out of the edge of my vision, was on the threat. Without so much as a flinch, the dog exploded into movement towards me, making a low guttural rumble in his throat that came out of hell and in less than a second he reduce the distance between us to half. Without time to think I yelled "HEY" in an attempt to startle the advancing demon. The sound that shattered the still sunny air was unfamiliar to me and was something more of lion's roar warning against any approach. Without thinking I moved faster toward my attacker, crouching down with my right arm shielding me, as the monster leaped into the air towards my face. It was hardy a dog at all but, a conglomeration of teeth and anger propelled by a huge mass of bulky muscle.My mind had shut down and my instincts had taken over, as my body did things I out of my control and yet, I was doing those things; like stopping my feet from walking but, permitting my forward motion. . . like visualizing the mid-flight demonic-possessed dog's eyes focused on my throat, in slow motion . . . . . . like pulling back my right to expose my neck to his attack . . .. . . like forming a fist with my right hand and striking, suddenly and with perfect timing, the dog's left jaw with the full force of my weigh and momentum.I believe it is called a "right cross" though I lack any training or interest in the fighting skills.With sharp "YIPE" the dog's body was set to spinning, missing making any contact with my body except that with my clenched right fist, as I resumed my walking pace leaning slightly left for following through with the punch.The yipe was interrupted by a dull thud sound of a heavy body involuntarily contacting the hard dry south Texas dirt. I was continuing my pace when the dog's human poked his head up over the SUV parked next to the pickup and yelled for his dog.A quick glance back reminded me that the poor pathetic creature laying on its back had, at one time, long ago, posed a threat to me but, for now, MY focus was on this irresponsible tattooed waste of human flesh that dares allow such a dangerous animal be loose in a school zone.The entire event took up less than three second though it seemed like forever at the duration. At the hospital, I relayed this story to the daughter & nieta.When we were alone, the nieta said "Coocoo, that story is so cool. You should post it on facebook & tumblr so people can read it and know how cool you are. YOU PUNCHED A PIT-BULL. I would have frozen & gotten bitten" I was treated for a broken wrist (slight fracture of the right ulna).Hey, I'm a lover not a fighter.The dog eventually regained consciousness & was taken by Animal Control for observation, as his teeth did break the skin of my knuckle and wrist

[thelioncourts]

what are some of the most beautiful fics of wincest or j2? in your opinion? what the some of the funniest fics? which fics made you cry the most?

this is such a loaded question. our fandom is full of so many amazing stories and so many talented authors, and it’s almost impossible for me to make a list of anything without it being three miles long. that being said, I’ll try. mind you, I am far less read in Wincest. despite my love of it, J2 fics have always called to me more, and always, so forgive me if most of what I give are J2 stories. the beautiful and the ones that make me cry often criss-cross, so I’ll do my best to organize them as much as I can.

Beautiful Fics

Forever is a Lonely Number by lightinthehall

[ Written for the prompt ] “Jensen never ages, Jared does, but they stay together forever.”

Comment: an absolutely breathtaking story. so much is said in so few words and I both ache and dream and sigh happily at this story every time.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3286; Warnings: character death

In Becoming Who We Are by errant-jane

Fresh out of school with a degree from the University of Washington, Jensen meets and falls for Jeff Morgan. He may not know what he wants to do with his life, but for the first time since leaving Texas, he feels like things are coming together. Jeff seems like the perfect guy, right up until it all falls apart, and Jensen is left wondering where he went wrong. A couple failed relationships and a few years later, Jensen’s decided that one-night stands are preferable to dates. He’s got his friends and his roommate, Sophia, for everything non-sex related, after all. Until Sophia decides to move in with her boyfriend and Jensen’s stuck trying to find a new roommate. At Sophia’s insistence, Jensen meets Jared Padalecki and the two become fast friends. Only, the more they get to know each other, the more obvious it is that there’s something there. But Jensen is unwilling to risk losing Jared’s friendship for the possibility of more. Unfortunately, if he doesn’t get things figured out, he might lose Jared anyway.

Comment: this story is causes so much emotional confusion for me because it’s so perfect with just Jensen and Jeff and I couldn’t see how it would end up with Jared in the picture at all and then it just. happens. and it’s amazing to watch Jensen grow and to watch Jared worm his way, unknowingly really, into Jensen’s heart.

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 82700; Warnings: none

A Song in the Stars by strive2bhappy

Jared Padalecki has dreamed of taking to the skies since he was five-years-old. When he becomes an adult and builds a spaceship of his own, he gets to do just that, looking for adventure – little did he know the adventure waiting for him. Jensen Ackles is born part human, part Terryn and his life as an outcast is difficult – music is his only real escape. When he’s captured by the Dominion, an organization hell-bent on taking over every galaxy in every way they can, he’s used as a lab experiment to see how his special, combined heritage can be advantageous for them. Fleeing Dominion control, he vows to himself, they will never find him again. A chance meeting between Jared and Jensen helps both of them get what they’re looking for – and the way things end up, it may have been more than just chance. From various planets throughout different galaxies, to nights under the stars in space, Jared and Jensen find in each other something worth fighting – and possibly dying – for.

Comment: I think about this story so often. sometimes I look at the stars and think of these boys.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 39813; Warnings: none

Meet You at the Dock by grace_fully

jensen’s a third-year ivy league student home in small town Vermont for the summer. the lake, his family, his friends – all the way he left them last year. except jared. jared’s new.

Comment: grace_fully is one of the most talented writers this fandom has had and I miss her so much. this story is so simple and gorgeous and you can feel the pining just as much as you can feel drip of sweat on your skin in a muggy summer.

Rating: PG-13; Word Count: 5800; Warnings: None

Miles to Go by @dollyluxe

As Jensen’s assistant, Jared takes care of him at work. As a man in love, he can’t help that he wants to wrap him up in a warm blanket and take care of him in every other aspect of his life, too.

Comment: I read this fic at least once a month, if not more. it’s a Christmas fic that is so much more than a Christmas fic. it makes your heart stop in your chest and it makes you want. 

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8176; Warnings: none

Funniest Fics

So Hurry Up and Bring Your Jukebox Money by curds_and_wheyface

It’s Mardi Gras at the beach and Chad wants to film Jared getting laid for his website. It says a lot about their friendship that this isn’t even the weirdest thing Chad’s ever asked of him.

Comment: it’s steaming hot and hysterical and Chad is a main character, which guarantees laughter. 

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 7527; Warnings: voyeurism, alcohol 

(A Shortage of) Sense and Sensibility by lightinthehall

[ Mockumentary!AU fic ] Except Jared just can’t understand why Jensen isn’t off-the-charts, truly, madly, deeply in love with him. He’s pretty used to merely looking at people and having them swoon all over the place. Not Jensen. Not only is Jensen apparently immune to the sex-power-stare of Jared Padalecki, he’s never around to witness it. Every time the director yells That’s a wrap! Jared turns to say, ask Jensen out for something casual like coffee at his place – or sex on the coffee table at his place -  poof! Jensen’s gone before he can even get a word out.

Comment: I love the mockumentary. I love that weirdo universe’s not-Jared and not-Jensen. this fic captures that so much and I just giggle constantly.

Rating: Teen; Word Count: 3533; Warnings: none

A Man’s Fortune by morrezela 

Jared is a dragon. Jensen is a pretty if foolhardy young man trespassing on Jared’s mountain. Nobody ever warned Jensen about the possessive nature of dragons.

Comment: this is so much more than just a funny fic, but it is funny and made me laugh out loud at times. Jared is just. so sad (hysterically sad) that Jensen doesn’t want to be captured by him, and I just. the poor thing. 

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 25791; Warnings: dubious consent 

To Hell and Back by ashtraythief

It is said that if a demon steals an angel from heaven he’ll gain immense power. Jared is a demon who doesn’t fit in and when he finds a spell to open a passage to heaven, he thinks he’s found a solution to all his problems: angel power. But Jensen, the angel he takes, is not at all what he expected a celestial being to be like and things don’t go as planned. At all. In the ensuing chaos, Jared and Jensen have to form a strained alliance to survive and embark on a dangerous journey through the deepest pits of hell to flee from Jared’s rivals and all the other demons jonesing for angel blood.

Comment: I read this last year and it was one of my favorites of the Big Bang that year. Jared is the most hysterical and adorablely wonderful demon and Jensen is the most un-angel-y guy and their adventure is amazing, whilst having a fantastic plot.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 28378; Warnings: violence

Decaffeinated by Molly

In which Jensen develops a drinking problem, and Jared solves it for him.

Comment: we all know that Jensen + coffee is the true OTP and, as a fellow coffee addict, I just couldn’t not love this fic

Rating: General; Word Count: 5071; Warnings: none 

#FlyTheUnfriendlySkies by dugindeep

Jensen is a customer service agent in American Airlines’ Admirals Club and Jared is the crabby celebrity who is always in his face.

Comment: literally just. this fic. lmao. 

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 7600; Warnings: none

Fics that Made Me Cry

The Courtship of Jensen’s Co-Star by @qblackheart

Somewhere in the time between a handshake and a hug, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki went from being reel-life brothers to real-life best friends, and complete strangers to cosmic soul mates, no rhyme or reason to it that either of them could ever see. Jared was everything Jensen was not: friendly, funny, and full of life; one in six-point-whatever billion the Earth’s population currently stood at. Life was awesome. Work was amazing. Everything was fine until Jared kissed Jensen. Everything was peachy until Jensen fell in love. With desperate times unexpectedly calling for desperate measures, Jensen called Chad Michael Murray for relationship advice – because being in love led to temporary insanity obviously – so it really didn’t surprise him that he couldn’t seem to win when it came to wooing Jared. Still, Pisces must’ve been in a really good place in the night sky or something because suddenly, right smack dab in the middle of the miserable courtship of his co-star, Jensen discovered that maybe loving Jared was all he needed to do to win his heart. And luckily for Jensen, loving Jared was also the one thing he did best.

Comment: I talk about this fic all the time, but, god, I can’t help it. it’s them. and I cry and my hands shake and I’m completely overwhelmed by them. always.

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 112,000+; Warnings: none

Forget-Me-Not by @babybrotherdean  

In 1547, they meet as children. Sometimes, even when two people are truly meant to be together, it takes a few lifetimes across a few centuries for everything to sort itself out.

Comment: reincarnation. meant-to-be. losing each other. ache ache ache. 

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 9400; Warnings: character death

I Saw You Shine by @dollyluxe

Jared gets a glimpse into Jensen’s new life.

Comment: this was written for me so I’m probably a bit biased (I cried when I saw the notification, let alone the tears that came when I read it), but I absolutely sob reading this story. I understand them both more than I care to ever explain, and it’s the most gorgeous kind of pain that ends as happy as it can because it’s our boys and it has to. 

Rating: Teen; Word Count: 3203; Warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts

Criminal Intentions by fftf

One murdered girl and no solid suspects’ leads local sheriff Jeffrey Dean Morgan to Jared - son of respected ex-sheriff, Gerald Padalecki, and soon-to-be newlywed. With nothing but shared history and circumstantial evidence to link him to the case, Jared’s name is cleared, but there is more than one life destroyed that night and harsh truths are brought to light which threaten everything Jared thought he could count on. Four years later Jared Padalecki returns to his hometown, and his old life – including his best friend and ex-fiancé Jensen – as a successful Agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Jared has received information which endangers Jensen and everything Jared still holds dear, but his investigation provides him with more than he bargained for, including worrying insights into the crime that destroyed his life. Is Genevieve Cortese’s killer back and gunning for Jensen? Or is there more to the case than meets the eye?

Comment: this isn’t so much a crying-fic as it is just pure emotion. it’s so charged and intense and I could feel my breathing drop at times and. ugh. yes.

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 69350; Warnings: character death

And a fic that fits all of these categories:

sadly is not online anymore. but.

The Doors of Time by felisblanco

god. this story. my forever-favorite fic ever. absolutely ever. I sob and dream and can see everything. absolutely everything that happens in this story. I wish I was more eloquent with my words so I could tell you what this story means to me, and one day I will. one day I’ll get all my thoughts about this story down. one day I’ll be able to comprehend the pain and joy this story brings me.