#i think the problem is that basically all companies 1. doing something shitty

[wild-at-mind]

People: we're boycotting Starbucks because of Palestine.

Someone else: it's not on the BDS list

A 3rd person: yeah but they are firing people because of Palestine. And union busting.

?????? Goalpost moved. I am tired.

[sentientgolfball]

Ghoulette Appreciation: Week 1

I kicked the writer's block and was able to write the first prompt for @jesusbutbetterrr ghoulette months :3 I did a mix of start of something new and girl's night in

All the prompts I do are gonna be nothing but Mistshine! I'm taking this as an excuse to write for my favorite ghoulette pairing, but of course all of them will be making appearances :3

Word Count: 1937

Tags: ghoulette pile, drunk/high sex, Mist is intersex with a tentacle, transfem Sunshine

Summary: The band would be heading out on tour soon and the girls have their last Ghoulette Night before they're separated for months

Mist was one to usually keep to herself. They were quiet, reserved, preferring the calm silence over chaotic company. Some thought it was because she was cold, emotionless, and a bit of a prude. Others thought it was because she was too dangerous for even the other ghouls to be around them. The venomous barbs sheathed in their wrists were proof enough. 

That was the problem with humans, Mist thought, they never see the full picture. While some of their whispers had merit, they would never understand why. Mist was a deep sea water ghoul. Unlike your average ghoul of any variety really, the deep sea beasts were solitary in nature. The only time they’d see another of their kind that wasn’t immediate kin would be during the mating seasons. The only packs that existed were made up entirely of family, and even then those packs were minuscule. It was rare for deep-sea ghouls to have more than two kits. 

So yes, Mist could be described as cold and reserved, but it didn’t reflect all of her. Living on the surface taught her how nice it is to have packmates. To know that any of them would drop everything for her if she needed, and she’d do the same. Of course, as much as she cherishes each and every ghoul, that doesn’t change her basic nature. She still enjoys her alone time, needs it. They spend so much of their free time alone that they’re always a little surprised when ghouls come looking. 

It’s not often that they find themselves sitting on a lumpy bean bag in Cirrus and Cumulus’ room surrounded by the other ghoulettes and copious amounts of wine, weed, and self-care products. Mist would be lying if they said they didn’t enjoy these rare nights of pure indulgence. They’d let Cumulus and the newly summoned Aurora use her for makeup practice, they’d let them put whatever cream or lotion on her because it made them happy. Mist would let Cirrus keep her glass full of the wine she had Swiss steal from Terzo’s personal collection. They’d let Sunshine feed her a joint until she got bold enough to sit in their lap and shotgun. 

Mist would do the same for all of them. She’d bring the best food to complement the wine. She’d brush their hair and work knots out of their muscles with her rough hands. She’d give exactly as much as she’d take. 

Tonight’s Ghoulette Night was bigger than any they’d had recently. It was the last before Cirrus, Cumulus, and Aurora would be off on tour. The wine was the sweetest Swiss could get his claws on. The weed was harvested directly from Mountain’s personal store. Mist had even broken into the Ministry cellars to get their hands on the best meats and cheeses for the ghoulettes to snack on. It was a necessity, she had decided. 

Now they all sit in Cirrus’ nest, more than a little buzzed and lazily touching each other. 

“Fuck I’m gonna miss this” Sunshine sighs, resting her head on Mist’s shoulder. 

“Me too” Aurora giggles when Cumulus kisses behind her ear. 

“We can always make a shitty nest and drink shitty wine in the hotels” Cirrus chirps.

“No way! You guys aren’t allowed to do it without us!” Sunny sticks her tongue out and clings closer to Mist. 

Mist just hums and squeezes her waist. 

“Oh we’re still definitely drinking” Lus purrs “but it won’t be the same without everyone.” 

“I don’t wanna think about that. Don’t wanna think.” 

Sunny suddenly jolts from where she had been lounging against Mist. She crawls into her lap and Mist knows she’s grown impatient. It’s an unholy miracle it took this long for her to start this. Usually, when they’ve snatched Mountain’s weed they’re all wrapped around each other before a coherent conversation can be held. 

“Wow, Sunny I think that’s a new record for you” Cirrus laughs but starts to shift Aurora onto her lap. 

“Took you long enough” Cumulus slots herself behind Aurora, caging her in. 

Mist had to agree. They had been painfully waiting for Sunshine to make her move. It always started like this. They’d all relax and let the alcohol and smoke turn time to honey until one of them couldn’t take the anticipation anymore. It was usually Sunny, save for Aurora’s first Ghoulette Night. 

Mist loved the way Sunny would always cling to her first. No matter what they did to her, Sunny would always come back for more. Mist would be lying if she said it wasn’t addictive. With Sunny finally in their lap, they made their move. 

“This is for making me wait” she whispers low before sinking their fangs into the side of her neck. 

Sunny whines high-pitched, twitching her hips forward, dragging her cock against them. Mist squeezes her hips harder, feeling their tentacle start to poke out of its sheath. 

“‘M sorry” she squirms.

“No, you’re not” Mist tears Sunny’s crop top off. 

She just giggles and shrugs. 

On the other side of the nest, Cirrus is lying flat on her back as Aurora scoots closer and closer to her face. Cumulus has one hand under her skirt and another in Cirrus’ underwear. 

“Don’t look at them” Mist grabs her jaws and forces her attention “You only know me.”

They crash their lips together in an almost possessive manner. It's filthy instantly with tongue and fang licking and clacking together. Mist yanks at the short hairs around the nape of her neck pulling breathy little gasps from her. She slides her hands under the hem of Mist’s shorts, slowly starting to pull them down. 

“Lords below it has a mind of its own” Sunny giggles feeling their tentacle writhe against her fingertips. 

“You say that every time” Mist deadpans. 

“Whaaaat I think it’s hot how excited—“ 

She’s cut off by Mist tweaking both of her nipples. They drag the flat of their tongue over the scars under Sunny’s breasts before replacing a finger with her mouth. She sucks and nips at her tits until they’re decorated with purple and blue marks as deep as Mist’s eyes. Until she can feel Sunny’s cock kicking in her pants. 

Her eyes briefly flick when Aurora moans. Cirrus’ face is covered by the fabric of her skirt and her thighs. Aurora shakes, grinding down on her face. Cumulus is laying on her stomach, face buried in Cirrus. 

Mist's attention is drawn back when she feels warm fingers teasing her cunt. Sunny is grinning down where she has her hand shoved into her shorts, tentacle wrapping around her wrist to pull her closer. 

“I think it’s unfair you get to look at them but I don’t” she pouts, but slowly slides a finger inside of them. 

Mist grabs her wrist, yanking her hand away. They shove their shorts down enough to let their tentacle fully free before popping the button on Sunny’s pants and wiggling her out of them. She seats Sunny back on her lap, letting the tentacle probe curiously at her ass. 

“You’re right. It is unfair” she wraps a hand around Sunny’s cock right as the tip wiggles in “but I want all of you.” 

Sunshine squirms and whines as the tentacle slowly slides into her, wet and sticky with Mist’s slick. They squeeze the base of her cock and Sunny yelps. Mist does it again and again and again, pulling those pretty little sounds from her. 

They latch onto her neck, trailing bruising kisses up her throat. She licks into Sunny’s mouth tasting her sweet orange and vanilla flavor. Sunshine pants into her mouth as the tentacle writhes within her. Mist starts to jack her off, pressing a cruel finger to the underside of her head every time their fist passes over. 

Maybe it’s the wine. Maybe it’s the weed. Maybe it’s the noises of Cirrus, Cumulus, and Aurora. Maybe it’s just Mist, but Sunshine can already feel her balls drawing up as her cock spits pre.

Mist bites her bottom lip and trails wet opened mouth kisses up to her ear. They drag their tongue over the shell before biting the lobe. 

“Cum for me”  they whisper low. 

Sunny does. Hard. Everything is intense and floaty as she spills over Mist’s hand. Tears prick the corners of her eyes from the tentacle still moving inside her ass. Mist snickers, kissing across her collarbones. 

“Mist can we play? Pretty please?” 

They slowly unlatch from Sunshine and look down. Aurora, now completely naked, has crawled over to them. Her eyes are big, pleading, and a little red. Something inside Mist burns. She doesn’t understand why, it’s not like she dislikes Aurora. Quite the opposite actually, she thinks her bold nature is quite charming. But when Sunshine wiggles off of them at the call of Cirrus and Cumulus, the burn only intensifies. They make a mental note of this, something to examine later, before they push Aurora onto her back and climb between her legs. 

The tentacle immediately starts slipping into her cunt and Aurora giggles at the sensation.

“You didn’t let me have this last time.” 

Mist tears her gaze away from where Sunny is choking on Cumulus’ strap. 

“You were new. I didn’t want to frighten you.” 

“Please” she snorts, “it takes a lot to get me to crack.” 

Mist tilts their head with an eyebrow raised. 

“C’mon Mist I’ve heard the others talk. Give it to me.” 

“Hm. Not here. Not now.” 

“Why not?” She huffs. 

Mist leans forward, wrapping a hand around Aurora’s throat, and squeezes hard enough to make her gasp. 

“Because” they whisper “if I'm going to, I want you tied to my bed so I can break you.” 

Aurora’s eyes roll to the back of her head and she clenches hard around the tentacle. 

Mist tries to put all their focus on fucking Aurora, giving her a little something to think about as the tour starts up, but everything is clouded by the noises Sunny is making only a few feet away. Every gasp, whine, keen has a flash of heat coursing through her body. She doesn’t understand why though. They’ve been having these nights since the two air ghoulettes were summoned and not once has this happened before. 

She decides it’s the effects of Mountain’s weed, she was always a lightweight when it came to anything drugs. They shake it off and drop a hand to Aurora’s clit, circling it as they squeeze her neck. 

Aurora cums with Mist’s name on her tongue. They coax the tentacle out of her and help her sit up. She props her up, letting her lean against her as she snatches a nearby bottle of wine and offers her some. The two cuddle and pass the bottle back and forth as they watch Cirrus and Cumulus milk every last drop out of Sunshine’s cock. 

“You’re growling,” Aurora says sleepily. 

Mist hadn’t even realized. She stops herself immediately with a cough and swig. Sunshine cries out both of the air ghoulettes names and they nearly choke on the wine. That fire ignites in her belly again and now that she’s not buried to the hilt in Aurora she can place a name to that feeling. 

Jealousy. Possession. 

She wanted to be the one to get Sunny to cry like that. 

She didn’t want to hear another name roll out of her mouth. 

She was confused. Ghouls share everything, even the solitary deep-sea ghouls were strangers to monogamy. So why was Mist feeling this way watching Sunny be taken apart by someone who wasn’t her? 

This is new.

[yourwolfmuzzle]

"Please understand, animation is expensive and budget distate everything and there is sooo much behind the production!"

1 - Hey im not sure that this is okay that animator speak about this. Not in the way “never speak about this we do not care” more like “is this a signal for us? Are you all okay???”. I just fucking hope you get your paycheck big enough and this is not an attempt to justify the company that you were not paid enough (but you just love to much this series to say this is wrong) or this is not some kinda signal that you were abused as an animator (and your colleagues too). No matter what animators sometime tell us about new episodes, i hope you all were treated well. Or at least animation department, because god damn we do not want to them get treated like in Genlock/Volume 6 times. As an amateur animator who loves animation with all my heart, i hope you all okay because this whole thing for me was sounding as a alert signal. But also - no matter how you love this series and working on “dream project”, you don't have to sacrifice yourself for this.

2 - There is a thing - i dont know about everybody but im trying to not blame everything on animators, ask too much of them and basically im trying to not touch visual part of the series because when is good i try to point this out, but when its bad or have some errors i mostly think that its maybe bad management (”animation error/animator portrait this moment wrongly and we didnt check this”), crunch or someone didn't get paid enough. A lot of you have to work in not the most pleasant mode, with  not the best people not in the best conditions. So this whole thing is not about animation, music, rigging or something else that makes my impression worse of episode 9...

3 - My main problem is writing. Not “there was not enough animation in this episode” or “this episode is tooo short” (like yes it is short episode and this is a whole problem in R/WBY, but this post is not about this specifically) but what they decide to write for 12 min 30 second episode after pretty important and pretty stressful episode. So this whole story is not even about “this episode is short i wish that episode was longer(” but about “i wish this episode was not feel so empty and offensive in relation to some topics”.

4 - “But what if writers is also get crunch, underpaid and difficult deadline? Have pity on them too!” If they are also under some crunching not by their will just like what happened to people who were doing rigging process - OH MY GOD. I know that this is not so likely, since some of the writers are quite importante figures in RT and CR/WBY, but....you know....if they are...them f u c k...

5 - Also did we not get a whole game, anime and something else before we even got the final trailer and date for a new season? This two part crossover movie? If they have money for supplementary material but not for the main product - i think this is not about “not enough money” thing and more about shitty deciding where to spend your budget.

(also its been what +-10 years? With new engine - 6 years, and there is still talks about budget.)

[misdre]

a friend asked for podcast recommendations and i thought i could as well make a post about things i've liked listening to. i like investigative pods and stuff about scams and that kind of thing but i do listen to a lot of random crap. i've probably also forgotten like 60% of what i've liked before but eh whatever

pods about a single case in detail:

chameleon: hollywood con queen - a scam story about the movie industry

dr death - only season 1 is available for free (i think) but it's the best one anyway. about a scam doctor who was somehow allowed to operate people

finding drago - an investigative pod about trying to figure out who wrote a rocky IV fanfic. yeah. and it's wild as fuck

harsh reality - about a catastrophically bad reality tv show in the 00s

the lazarus heist - about north korean hackers

sweet bobby - a catfishing-kind of relationship story

twin flames - about a weird culty MLM community

wecrashed - about a shitty guy who makes a shit company and then crashes hard

(the shrink next door - only available for subscribers on wondery now but putting it here anyway because it's a wild story about a guy ending up so badly manipulated he basically turns into another guy's slave)

general episodic:

auta antti - every finn knows this. antti holma offers help for people's problems.

behind the bastards - detailed profiles of all kinds of assholes, both historical and modern

cheat - a more humorous pod about scams and scammers

the dream - first season is about MLM scams, second is about diet product scams

the evidence locker - the only real true crime one in here, i like this because it has cases from all around the world and not just north america & UK. there isn't anything else that stands out about this tbh the bar is very low in this regard

let's not meet - readings of people's creepy encounters

the magnus archives - starts off as an anthology kind with short horror stories, turns into a horror audio drama later on

the nosleep podcast - short(-ish. some are pretty long) horror stories

scamfluencers - scammers

something was wrong - usually women reciting their experiences with Guys but sometimes also stories about other types of abuse

this is actually happening - people with unusual/traumatic/etc experiences telling their life stories

tiedetrippi - the other finnish pod in here. weird and creepy science facts

were you raised by wolves - two americans talk about etiquette and half of it doesn't match my culture but somehow i keep listening anyway. yeah keep berating me about not tipping my idk hairdresser and garbage guys here in finland

feel free to recommend your own if you like something that fits the general themes! i especially need more of the wecrashed type in my life that are about obnoxious men getting what they deserve in the end

[graciegoeskrazy]

a funny way of showing things 2

Pairing(s): Sebastian Stan x teen!daughter!reader, Lily James x teen!reader

Word Count: 1277

Warnings/Content: some language, angsty (but u already knew that), anxiety mentions

A/N: ITS TIME. Thank you for all the support on part 1. I hope you enjoy the long awaited part 2!! Let me know what u think. Please do NOT repost my work on any other platform. This is my ONLY ACCOUNT.

Weeks had passed. 3 weeks and 4 days to be exact. You barely spoke to your father or his girlfriend, and kept to yourself a lot. Some friends noticed a difference in your behavior. The fact that you were more reserved was a major sign indicating you were not okay. The outgoing, loud, charismatic young women they once knew was nowhere to be found. Being the amazing friends they are, they knew and understood that you would take your time and come to them for help eventually. They were always there for you, unlike some people.

Being alone gave you a lot of time to reflect. With the dance season over and the school year wrapping up, you focused on your grades a lot more than usual. You never realized how much you liked school. Like actually. And you were good at it too! Your grades were pretty good before, but now? Straight A’s all around. The bonus was, it kept you distracted from the shittiness at home while also letting you do something productive. It was a win-win.

Home was complicated to say the least. Lily had basically moved in with you and your dad which honestly was the least of your problems, but you never said more than, “I’m leaving” or a “hey” to your dad. There were a couple of times where he would have to sign your test paper so you could bring it back to school and show your teachers that your parents saw your grade. That was the closest interaction you both had with each other during these past few weeks. He could see you improving, but he never said anything afraid of what would happen.

Ever since the competition season ended, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, you and your friends would go to someone’s house for a study session. You would never really work together but having each other’s company was nice and comforting. You were packing up your things when you heard a knock at the door. You turned and paused stiffening slightly when you laid eyes on the couple at your door.

“Can we uh come in for a second?”

Is today something special? Like a holiday? Why is he talking about this now? Why?

You simply nodded and slowly sat up from your awkward position. They slowly made their way to your bed and cautiously sat down.

“We um…we needed to talk to you for a second. Is that okay?”

You never nodded but your dad continued anyway.

“I don’t know how to say it without making it awkward, so I’m just gonna do it. I just booked a new project. It’s back in L.A. and I know we just moved back home but, I’m sorry. We gotta go by the end of the school year.”

You're joking.

“We? Like…me too?”

They slowly both nodded. “Yeah.”

“…oh.”

Shocked was an understatement. Yes - he books new things all the time. Yes - this has happened before. But you never saw this coming. He never even mentioned a new movie in awhile, but after all, things have been different.

“But- um…what if I just stay with Grandma? I can take myself wherever I need to be, and we can take care of each other any way we can! Just like when I was younger-“

“Sweetheart, we both know she’s getting older. It’s not good for her to look after you.”

You wanted to fight back. Say that you would take care of her while you were home, but something inside you wouldn’t let you do it.

A familiar feeling. The same feeling as that night. It was back. The feeling of being so small yet so tall and powerful at the same time. The feeling of endless anxiety crashing over you and pulling you deeper making it harder and harder to swim back to the top. Too overwhelmed. Too many thoughts swarming your brain. Too much.

“Y/N? You okay, hun-“

You still didn’t want to fight. “I don’t want to move back. I would like to stay here.”

He was taken aback by the politeness. He slowly got up and kneeled down in front of you. “I’m sorry sweetie. I know you don’t want too-“

“I have to go.” You got up and walked past your dad and headed towards the door. Lily and him both exchanged confused looks before running after you.

“Y/N! Wait. I want to-“

The feelings - whatever they were - were too strong. They consumed you fully, more than they have in years. You’ve dealt with anxiety for as long as you can remember. You tried to go back to what you were told to do whenever things like this happened, but the only thing you could think of was him. Your father. After all the shit you’ve been through, he has been there for you through every single part of it, as you have him. He’s all you could think of. The good parts and the not so good parts, he was there. So, you did what you always did. Hugged him.

It felt so foreign, yet so familiar. You missed it. He didn’t hesitate to accept the gesture and pull you tighter and tell you everything was gonna be alright. You’ve heard that phrase for what felt like a million times, but every time he said it, it felt true. It felt like there was still hope even in your darkest hours. It was always the tiniest glimpse at the end of the tunnel, because no matter where the tunnel ended, you knew you would always have him.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so overwhelmed with everything, but that’s the thing I don’t have anything except school because it’s the end of the year and I don’t have dance anymore, and I feel so stupid because things are going great, my life is going great, and I can’t help but cry because I have these stupid emotions in my head about stuff I don’t even understand and ethier want to understand or don’t want to understand at all. And I’m pushing all my friends away because I won’t talk to them because I’m too scared for some shitty reason I don’t understand. I’m losing everyone and everything and I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

He listened.

Like he always does.

Like he always will.

“Shh. I need you to take deep breaths for me baby. In and out.”

After following his instructions you continued. “I'm so tired dad.”

“I know.”

“And I'm sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, my love. You did nothing wrong. Ever. I'm sorry.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more, baby girl.”

He kissed the top of your forehead. “Come on, let's go lay down.”

You finally stepped away from your dad and noticed Lily was long gone. Your dad led you to your room and tucked you into bed.

“Can you lay with me?”

He nodded and smiled. “Of course, my love.” He turned on the TV and turned it to a random channel to keep him entertained while you rested. He also turned the volume down so you wouldn’t be disturbed.

After only a few minutes you noticed a figure peeking in through your slightly opened door. It was Lily. She saw that you noticed and quickly tried to get away, but you told her to come join you and your dad, too, which she obeyed.

Everything felt good. Everything felt right. And to feel that way, you needed to be with him. It didn’t matter what you were going through, or where you were. He would always be there. And that would never change.

[antiloreolympus]

8 Anti LO Asks

1. the thing is like even the poets we draw from get critiqued too. a lot of people thought hesiod was an evangelist with an agenda to push, homer (if they existed) was often lampooned for contradicting lines and spending too much time making lists than developing the story, aeschylus and euripides were both seen as biased and cynical and were often mocked, along with many more, and yet LO fans think their kiwi tumblr fave is somehow above all of them and shouldn't be critiqued? Get over yourselves

2. the problem with the 'make your own story" argument is that, assuming you try to retell hxp at least, youll have LO fans attacking you for "stealing" from rachel, who in turn never promotes or supports other retellings unless it adheres to her worldview (such as OSP). say what you will on punderworld or ficlets, but they always prop up lesser known creators with their platforms, meanwhile rachel when tasked with helping others (like Lets Play) she made it about herself. that speaks volumes.

3. a lot of LO fans think antis are just randomly haters but that's not true. Most of us were once devoted fans who couldn't ignore all the issues anymore and who still remember when it had promise and effort put into it, not the rushed husk it is now. It isnt just blindly hating it, it's being annoyed & disappointed of what could have been and how much the comic has declined and how the fans refuse to acknowledge its faults. How would we know how badly its gone down if we weren't fans once?

4. idk man i wouldnt tell people who dislike lo to make their own comics because those end up being way better. reylos did the same thing to disney over how badly they hated the last star wars movie and now their fanfics are becoming NYT bestsellers. just saying.

5. Maybe I'm dating myself here but one of the funniest parts of fandom used to be the most devoted fans calling out the bad stuff in what we liked and discussing it, because it was fan to pick it apart and clown on it. IDK why now LO fans and people like them are so convinced they can only mindlessly praise with no dissent and all critique is invalid. It's basic critical thinking skills that one can like something and still acknowledge the flaws. It's a bad look to admit you can't do so IMHO.

6. lo fans really need to get off this high horse that lo is perfect and therefore can never be criticized. even the best pieces of work ever have actual things to critique within them, and lo is not somehow better than all of them  to not be critiqued as well. its an ever growing list of issues lo keeps adding up because of who is behind. sorry, rachel, if you want sole credit for the writing and art, you have to own all the critiques too, and the fans needs to accept it. 

7. sorry, LO fans, but we are allowed to critique a work that gets so much privleges that even other webtoon creators dont get (seriously, the majority stull have to live off commission work while working on a full time comic) meanwhile rachel gets away with bad writing, cliffhangers that aren’t resolved for years, worsening art, and her bad and entitled attitude all while the company constantly promotes her while the majority of their catalog doesn’t, she has a full team rushing work for her while she at best does sketches and the occasional banner art, and gets her a bunch of media deals that the rest won’t ever get even a scrap of, all while already being a well off, privileged white woman who cries to her thousands of fans when her ego is bruised because more and more people are noticing her shitty politics and morals put into her work and are rightfully calling it out. at the very least you’d think someone in such a high rank at one of the worlds biggest media houses would actually put in the effort to make the best product she can and respect the people and culture she’s making bank off of, but she’s not and frankly does not seem like she ever will. She quite literally said it’s HER story and she’s allowed to do what she wants with it, and has spoken over Greeks time and time again that their input doesn’t matter over her personal feelings and thoughts. you don’t see other people in her position who also made bank (such as Rick Riordan or Madeline Miller) treat Greece and it’s people so awfully as her, her fans, and her product do, yet she gets all the excuses in the world while the above mentioned and others work on their mistakes and try to always put their best products out there, all while respecting Greece and it’s stories and even giving platforms to the underrepresented, meanwhile Rachel herself can’t even keep colors in line or keep designs on model while her writing gets more and more nonsensical, with her status only going to enrich herself and her ego while the rest are clinging to survive. God willing, maybe another mythology webtoon will be picked up to give her some competition and actually force her to put in the work for the rewards she earned off the backs of others, and that can’t happen soon enough.

8. NGL, kinda funny that LO Stan defends it by claiming people who dislike it are just “hacks like the woman behind 50 shades” like … uh … you know LO is ripped off from 50 shades, right? Like quite literally, it’s almost point for point exactly the same as 50 shades, down to the CEO with mommy issues and BDSM mixed with weird obsessions over a college girl’s virginity and a jealous ex who is into it versus the pure MC. Rachel is literally the hack ripping off 50 shades that that stan is claiming antis are. Wild stuff.

Anyway both the 50 shades woman and Rachel owe Stephanie Meyers a lot of money Bc they both in turn just ripped off Twilight anyway lol

Based on this post:

https://alatismeni-theitsa.tumblr.com/post/663420719494053888/why-not-write-a-take-of-your-own-on-the-myths

[punkofsunshine]

Textiles: Agriculture, industry, couture, and exploitation

You guys may not know this, but I’m a fan of the fashion world, I have a deep respect for handcrafted clothing. The skill needed to make clothes is incredible, I’m a bit rusty with a needle and thread myself, but a few of my friends are spectacularly skilled with a sewing machine and a needle. Envy aside, this is actually a very good skill to learn, the decline of this knowledge has been beneficial to those who work in the fast fashion sector and nobody else. Clothing is an essential part of culture and I think that essential aspect is part of why I really dislike fast fashion as well as haute couture. Generally speaking the fashion industry does some pretty shitty things to workers and markets to those who don’t see anything bigger at stake than how they look, which is awful for a culture that’s as consumption obsessed as that of the US.

It all has to start somewhere, mostly from seeds, as long as you pretend that synthetic fabrics don’t exist for a moment (that deserves a post of its own when I move onto the topic of fossil fuels and their obsolescence), most clothes are made from cotton yarn, which is woven into fabric, which is then cut into various shapes and made into whatever clothing item is being manufactured, yeah? Well, there’s a problem with cotton even into the modern day and that’s the energy cost for processing and water cost for growing when you look at the water cost alone and combine it with the fact that in needs to be processed, transported, woven, and cut that comes out to be a lot of fossil fuels and even more water consumed. Roughly 20,000 litres of water (5,283 gallons) is used to produce 1 kilogram of cotton (2.2 pounds). High water cost combined with pesticide, herbicide, and fungicide use make cotton a nightmare for groundwater pollution, agricultural runoff, and soil depletion. There is a better source of fiber than cotton which uses less water and produces more than cotton does, hemp, the industrial variety of hemp is easy to grow and could be replacing half of all textiles very soon. Industrial hemp uses less than a third of cotton and produces, to read more about this hemp click here. 

Now onto the textile industry and how it feeds into both fast fashion and couture. As we’ve established, cloth is incredibly important when talking about fashion and clothing. It’s sometimes a selling point, if you want clothes that are easy to take care of, or want something that’s luxurious but is dry-clean only (I don’t know why people would do that to themselves, but that’s besides the point). The top textile manufacturer right now is Arvind Limited which deals in cotton fabrics, cotton is still king it seems, but it’s an India based company. I can’t seem to find who they supply to, although their financial reports are public access, I cannot find who they sell their fabrics to. I am willing to bet it’s mostly to fast fashion companies and some premier brands. That information is out of my hands however, but I can say they’re making bank as a 3rd party distributor with cheap labour on the ground floor. I’m afraid I cannot give detailed accounts of whom they ship to, but speculation will have to do for now.

A little break from serious topics to discuss couture, haute couture, and handmade clothing, I swear we’ll move onto the topic of exploitation of workers after this. Couture is essentially custom fitted clothing, haute couture is luxury custom fitted clothing, and handmade clothes are self explanatory. The only one out of the three that I don’t have a problem with is handmade clothing because it’s made to be warn more than once and is pragmatic, the couture however, is basically what you see at the Met Gala, to be worn once and never again. I think you see the problem as much as I do, a waste of resources and idolization of others based on appearance. Now, I may be misunderstanding or biased, but clothes are supposed to be worn multiple times. In this respect, couture is no better than fast fashion. 

Now onto the final topic of an already lengthy post, exploitation of workers in textiles. From the farmers who grow the fiber, to the cloth makers, to the ones operating the sewing machines in sweatshops, all of these people are being exploited by different organizations. The farmers are exploited via the seed industry as well as pesticide, herbicide, and fertilizer industries because they’re viewed as essential in the production of clothing fibers and food crops. For the manufactures of the cloth, they’re being exploited by whomever runs the factory for processing and weaving the fibers, same goes for sweatshop workers. It’s like this anywhere you go in the textile industry, even “high end” fashion is infamous for seasonal crunch times and overworking designers, photographers, and models. It may not be the same as meager wages in a sweatshop, but nobody should be under extreme stress over something that will go away from public vision in a month’s time. We need to rethink what we wear, me included. Instead of throwing clothes away, we should learn how to resize and repair. We’ll get to that point eventually, but until then we have to be more conscious about the things we take for granted and their social & ecological impact.

That was all for today, this post was 2 days late, but I work a lot now and it’s hard to keep up with any social media, especially when I’m essentially writing essays. So have a good one and stay safe babes.

This has been @punkofsunshine, out.

[mrs-dynamight]

Be Nice To Me

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem!Reader, Denki Kaminari x fem!Reader

Warnings: Eventual mature content, angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle, the reader is lowkey toxic, everything will be adressed in every episode (:

Chapter warning: Swearing but just a little bit of it. Everything else is pure Fluff.

Chapter: 1/? I'm planning about 20, maybe even a little more.

Synopsis: You're in love with your best friend Bakugou, and you're cofessing to him but things get a lot more complicated when Denki starts to treat you different *wink wink*

Word count: 1.1k

Author's note: Heeey! This is my first fic ever in life, I had this idea rotting in my brain and I've been dying to write it for soo long, it is lowkey inspired of something that happened in mi DR. English isn't my first language so if you see any grammar mistakes please lemme know. Luv ya.

Chapter 1 I wanna be Yours- Arctic Monkeys

I’ve been in love with Bakugo Katsuki since our first year in the UA, I mean yeah, he’s got some issues to deal with, but he was able to go through a lot of stuff, he was kidnapped, marked as a problem child and been a victim of this disastrous “hero society”, but in the end he is just a loud kid who likes to win, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him wanting to be the no. 1 hero. Isn’t it?

Today is the day, the first day of our last year in this hero academy that made the promise of turning kids like us into saviours of the people, it’s been a long journey since the selection exam and at first I was kinda shocked that I really gotten into class 1-A, since there was people with better kirks than mine, I used to think that drawing things in my skin was way less impressive and useful than shooting lightings, make things float or throwing acid, but I grew fond of my quirk thanks to our talented teacher Mr. Aizawa and the marvellous All Might, and in this day I’m really proud of everything we have accomplished as students, and that is why I am going to confess my undying love for the ash blonde guy this year.

I’ve waited enough time I know, but there was so much more I had to know before telling him, at first I was completely sure he and Kirishima were boyfiends, but it turns out they just love each other in a soulmate-ish kinda way, and of course be sure Bakugo actually likes girls (although neither of us actually knows what does he like cause he never talks about that stuff), my best friends Deku, Shoto, Ochako, Tsuyu, and Tenya have been listening me rambling about Katsuki for two whole years so we made a 12 steps-ish program for confessing, but now that is time for the first step I’m nervous as I can be, sure it’s easy, it’s not like it is the first time actually talking to him but it surely feels different. I grab my stuff and wait by the class 3-A dorms stairs, but the one who comes up is no other than my favourite pokemon in the flesh.

-Well if it isn´t L/N Y/N in person- Said Denki Kaminari with a big smile and a non matching sleep deprived face – I appreciate you waiting for me to walk to class together but I have to eat breakfast first, Sero bought this new cereal who is basically just marshmallows and colourful tiny stuff and I’m dying for tasting it but you know how Aizawa don’t like when I eat sugar before class, or during class, or after, In fact I don’t think he wants me eating sugar at all, but it just tastes sooo good, Y/N wanna gab something for lunch?-

-No thanks Denki, actually I’m waiting for Bakugo, I have a couple questions about his internship, you know quirk related stuff, and… uhh just school things I guess, but please tell me if the cereal tastes good, now I’m dying to know- I say with a bit more nervous expression that I planned, but I don’t think Denki notices

-I’ll let you know, good luck with Bakubro, he’s angrier that usual today- Said the yellow haired boy.

And just as he said that a Redhair and a Blonde came downstairs, my heart skipped a beat when Bakugo looked at me with that gorgeous crimson eyes.

-Good morning Y/N!- Said Kirishima with his usual brighter than the sun smile

-Morning, draw- Said Bakugo in his usual raspy voice. C

onsidering how almost every one of us in class A were upgraded from “extras” to some sort of specific quirk related nickname “Draw” was one of the best, and I think it was because of how close he and I have grown, ever since we started training together after the UA sports festival of our first year, I was beat up so easily by Tetsutetsu that I had to practically beg for assistance and of course, Bakugo being the winner and also no. 1 in class was the perfect choice, two years has passed and I can say with confidence that he is my best friend, he would deny it completely if someone asked it, but I think he also enjoys my company, I have seen him laugh, cry, complain about family or whatever, and even blush when I asked if he and Kiri where a thing, and my feelings toward him only grew and grew.

-HeyBakugo, wannawalktoclasstogether? Ihaveacoupleofquestionsaboutinternshipsandthisthinghappendwithmyquirk and… – I was so nervous that I spoke way too fast.

-Have you been drinking that monster stuff that shitty hair and Pikachu are into? Because I didn’t understand a single word coming from your mouth, now besides tutoring you in kicking ass I have to make sure you know how to speak? – Bakugo said with his usual mocking kinda bully tone

-Hey, just wanted to walk you class, what if some crusty-looking guy wants to kidnap you on the way there? AGAIN – I said with some defiance tone, Denki busted into laugh and Bakugo give him a killing stare.

- ‘Tch, let’s go then, shitty woman- Was that a blush? Maybe I crossed the line but bitch I might be.

This was the first part of the plan, just casually invite him on a date, I know him, he can’t say no to 8x spicy ramen and a night at the arcade (anything were he can fight and win, thank God for Bakugos competitiveness)

-So Katsuki, I was wondering if you are free on Friday, there is this new ramen place, and they have this extra spicy ramen challenge that I just know you can beat- I say holding my breath to not sound so nervous, why am I so nervous? This is Bakugo, we’ve been friends for two whole years, we’ve hung out together a lot of times, sure with Kiri, Mina, Denki or Sero, but, it counts, right?

- Huh? Friday? Yeah why not, bet that I can beat you at eating too, should I tell shitty hair? – He said.

-Actually I have only two coupons so I was thinking we just both go after school, I also want to beat your ass in Mario Kart so maybe a ramen and arcade afternoon? – Yeah Y/N confidence, relax, you got this.

-Beat me in something? I doubt you can be able to do that woman, but sure, let´s give it a try then, just don’t hate me for being better than you in everything- He said with a smirk in his face, God he’s gorgeous.

-You wish Katsuki- Yeah that’s better, this is the friendship we have built for over two years, everything is going to be just fine.

OMG! Thanks for reading, if you wanna be tagged in the series please lemme know.

Part 2 here

[life-rewritten]

The doomed futility of Sisyphus; Sisyphus The Myth Kdrama Analysis

Before we start this analysis, I did have a lot of help getting to understand what's happening in this show especially the logical rules of time travelling, due to this website bitchesoverdrama, we have a great community over there we talk about shows and comment our thoughts and the way packmule sees things in shows is so inspiring. So even though this is my theory it is based of her own theories and opinions on what's going on in the show. 

Sisyphus The Myth Ep 1-4

Let's talk about Sisyphus. The Korean drama that everyone seems to have something to say, mostly negative because they don't understand where the storyline is going, and because of that frustration of lack of understanding, they go to insults, and annoyance, and lack of patience to wait it out, they call the show ridiculous with it's terrible directing and also outlandish action scenes and unreasonable logic. The first mistake these people made is going into this show, thinking it was a logical sci-fi. There is another show where people have mistaken a mystery fantasy plot (as the writers announced it was, in an interview)  for sci-fi because it includes scientific rules sometimes and discusses time travel. Do you the know the show? It's The king's Eternal Monarch. So because logical people have it out for writers using specific sci-fi plotlines to write a romantic mystery show; that doesn't actually base its self on the realism or logic of the science they expected, people call these stories dumb; they say it's ridiculous and should not have been done. And it's hard for people like me who completely gets bored at the idea of a sci-fi show, I'm not logical. Let's first get that out of the way; I won't be calculating mass, and time, and velocity and use maths and science as a base for my analysis.  In fact, I usually run away from anything to do with sci-fi. But there's something funny about this, that with TKEM and now Sisyphus, mystery fantasies that do incorporate a piece of the sci-fi genre, actually make me enjoy them. 

Perhaps it could be argued that it's because I'm not smart and I like ridiculous things, I only want romance with shitty writing, and maybe that's it. However, I disagree, what I see in these stories are a different sort of basis; instead of relying on scientific logic rules, or whatever is seen as appropriate in a sci-fi plotline, they use meta; they use other things to make their world mean something. For TKEM, it was literature and fairytales, and stories, and for Sisyphus actually named after the  Greek myth, it's the same. In order to understand where a show is going when it uses a literature base, you have to first understand the source. What is the source saying? Why have they chosen this source to tell this story? But people clock out and don't want to wait, aren't connected to the characters enough to care, or just plain detest anything that doesn't follow a specific set of logical rules, and that's fine; you're allowed to like or want whatever you want to see on TV, it's your experience, but  for the others who do want a show that is maybe deeper, interesting, laced with a good plot and love story that is sad, futile and also romantic, then I would suggest Sisyphus being for you. This isn't going to have a lot of support, and I already know this. Still, I do want to write about this show and explain why I'm into it because it has everything I like, a mysterious plot, fantasy/sci-fi elements, and a romance that is very angsty but also very deep. The show's director maybe not be as great as the others before him, but I think he's doing an okay job showcasing what he wants from the story. So yes, Sisyphus has so many scientific questions to ponder about, but I want to get rid of all that and focus on the bare bones of the story. How does this myth connect to this story, and why does it foreshadow how good this plot could be? This doesn't mean, this plot will be great because it all depends on the directing and writing skills, I'm not familiar with their work and with the director. I don't particularly care a lot about what he offers. But I know how he makes shows, I know the themes he's into and from this myth analysis, this show is definitely up his alley. So for now, I'll keep enjoying it and analysing, but it doesn't mean I think it's the best thing ever to exist in this genre. Okay, now we have that out of the way; let's learn about Greek Mythology, shall we? 

An Introduction to a Genius

So who or what is Sisyphus? When I hear about Sisyphus, I think about the guy who tried to run away from d*ath but ended up being captured by Zeus for even trying to think he could do that. He ends up basically with this painful task of constantly rolling a boulder uphill. In a way, it's depressing AF, and it really holds this theme of futility and punishment. So it's interesting to see we have a character who is being punished for his brains and his cunningness to evade situations and save people, and it seems unfair that he gets this ending. It also makes me worry about Tae Sul, our main character in Sisyphus the myth, who begins the first episode evading d*ath by saving tons of people on a plane and then also wanting to revert a specific family member's demise that he feels guilty about. Taesul is just as smart and cunning as Sisyphus; he uses his skills, his brain and his talent to help people. So it's a bit disturbing because already from looking at him, it's unfortunate he's destined for a futile, sad ending; he's destined to be punished by powers be, for being an obstacle. And will you have it, the whole plot revolves around him being chased by people who want to get rid of him because it seems he's found a way to prevent d*ath and prolong the lifespan of the people he loves. What a surprise. Honestly, it's that simple; the boulder represents him having to take on weight constantly because of his actions and live with that repeatedly being chased by the thing he tried to avoid. The episodes scream that it's because he tried to bring back his brother from the past, but the thing is, there's more to the myth of Sisyphus than just this outline. So before we can truly understand the big picture and where this plot is, we need to truly go back and understand the real story of Sisyphus, the myth. 

Let's go back. So yes, Sisyphus is cunning, smart, witty, he has many moments since he's apparently a king, royal full of influence and power. He really cares about protecting people, including himself, yet the way people see him is actually harmful. They see him as childish, sneaky, heartless and a player. Surprise. The thing is, this is precisely how we are introduced to Taesul. He's a big flirt, a big child who complains and acts immaturely with his company. He's someone of influence, in fact, significant impact; so much money and prominence, and yet he doesn't seem like he cares about anything. So yes, you can understand why people have a wrong perspective of our Sisyphus. However, he doesn't want to care about anything because he's self-destructive, broken by the guilt of letting pride, money and greed stop him from preventing his brother from being eliminated.

 And it's something that lives with him every day; in fact, he's dependent on self-medication to get rid of the haunting figment of his brother. Now he says he doesn't care about people and others, but we know he's lying; he's clearly someone who's destined to protect, he does care even when he acts nonchalant, for example, saving a whole plane from crashing and hurting people, especially when he has said he is waiting and has been excited to leave the world, if he were selfish he would have let the plane crash, he didn't care as he said, but something in him still went back and provided the solution to help. 

So this is really vital, this idea of Sisyphus being misunderstood by people in a way he's actually with a saviour complex, he protects, and he saves people with what he has yet even his actions are deemed evil or selfish or a natural disaster for them. So again, it's obvious the plot is based on whatever he has done to create this apocalyptic future we see in the show that is being misunderstood. The people who are out to get him are seeing him and hating him when in reality, it's obvious this was meant to better the world/ also himself because as much as Sisyphus has a saviour complex, it doesn't mean he's selfless; in fact, he's a very selfish character, he'll put his own needs above the world at times. This is where Taesul will make a mistake. Because for him, his only goal is to bring back his brother, even when warned he shouldn't, even when there are hints that him unveiling the truth will lead to suffering and the end of the world as we know it, it's still all he wants to do. Is it just that though? I'm getting ahead of my self I still need to break down this myth. 

The Problem with Cunningness

So Sisyphus is someone with cunningness, knowledgeable and powerful, so when the first time he sees an opportunity to get rid of this thing we call mortality for people (not just him), he's punished when the gods aren't happy. Especially the god of war himself, Ares, who is frustrated at Sisyphus for chaining de*ath,  Ares is upset; he is annoyed that Sisyphus is getting in his way, making people lose the meaning of war, what's the fun of war if no one is being removed? Which is interesting because we also find out in Sisyphus that Taesul's actions and mistakes and his own demise will lead to a war that will end everything and some organisation isn't happy they were at the losing end of that war. They hated the result of Taesul being alive to either cause or prevent that war. So they're sending people from the future who look creepy as hell and also like don't have limbs because they're rushing the process of uploading or just using a fake uploader with more errors (not yet sure which), but they are here with one goal; to get rid of Taesul, like Ares. Wow.

 So Sisyphus punishment is actually that he is eliminated and sent to the underworld. Wait, so it wasn't the boulder that was his first punishment; his first punishment was to be chased by De*ath (I'm going to find another name for this we're gonna say D  because of this stupid flagging system in Tumblr) just like Taesul is suffering in the present time in our show. Oh, okay, so where do we get the other punishment, the one Sisyphus is really known for. This is where the plot of this show unfolds, surprisingly. Because there's another character connected in this Sisyphean myth, Seohae, meaning Sisyphus had a wife. So when Sisyphus ends up, you know, getting axed, he still has a few tricks up his sleeves; he asks his wife to do something for him, not to bury him or respect his body wishes appropriately, in fact, to drop him naked in the middle of the city (that's obviously a parallel to how people are being downloaded into the past in the show visually). So because he did this, he's able to trick Hades and Persephone into letting them allow him to run back to the past to his wife to have a go at her, to tell her she didn't respect his wishes. And oh boy, oh boy, does he end up again evading D. Genius, in fact, he ends up going back to his wife and staying a very long time because it was his plan all along; he wasn't back to the underworld; they were all chumps who allowed his escape. So Sisyphus is a funny character, he chooses to go back, and he again avoids D; however, when he finally reaches his old age, he has to face everyone, including the gods; Zeus isn't happy with Sis; he says it's a bit of an insult really for what he has done, so Zeus basically punishes him with that godforsaken boulder. 

Okay, hold, that's a lot to unpack. So what happened here is we're still seeing Taesul as Sisyphus in this second part of the myth, right? So he's going to find a way to avoid Sigma always and survive, but we know he doesn't. His story ends truly when his demise leads to the war if we're following a timeline mentioned by Seohae. So what is this second punishment about a boulder?  Because this is the most crucial plot for every Sisyphus myth. 

Our Surprise Sisyphus

Well, look at it carefully;

 it has themes of running back to the past to criticise a lover,

 it has themes of trying to prevent a lovers demise, 

it has themes of futility and repetitive actions, it has themes of being punished by a powerful source,

 it also has themes of someone who is rebellious and doesn't want to let D win. 

It's Seohae. And that blew my mind. We don't have one Sisyphus in the storyline; we have two. The show's title is Sisyphus the myth because the love of these two is actually the role of Sisyphus; let me explain. 

The first acquaintance with D is Taesul's story he's the one who invents a way to chain D and then is punished by being taken by D. The person who ends up wanting him to save himself is not himself in this show; it's Seohae her whole goal, her whole reason to want to go back is also to evade D for her mother (she mentions this in episode 1 to her father) but also to stop Taesul from being eliminated, to stop the war but more of all because she loves him, she's married to him, they're meant to be lovers. However, she doesn't have all her memories of everything. All she knows is that another version of her self has told her she needs to go back in time to warn Taesul, so he doesn't make this mistake, so they live happily together after marriage, and the war doesn't happen. 

Ohhh, that's what's happening. So who's Zeus, you ask? It's the ICB, the Control Borough, that has to find balance and makes things right with all of the time travellers; they're looking for Seohae because she's illegal; she's not meant to be doing what she is doing. Just like Zeus has to intervene to punish Sis. So alright, we're getting there, we have Taesul, he's going to do something to avoid D, but unfortunately, he is going to be found by D because someone does not want him to succeed. Okay, however, we have Seohae; she is in love with Taesul and is determined to keep him safe. Hence, she finds a way to go back and warn him to prevent D from finding him; she essentially tricks the system to find and save the world, but also selfishly to go live a happy life with the guy she loves. So what's this about this boulder then?

The boulder; A heavy frustrating punishment

 Well, unfortunately for our two characters, it's pretty apparent Taesul always ends up being eliminated #, and it always leads to the war that destroyed earth. But also we know Seohae gets shot; during her wedding, she also is fated to suffer and be eliminated if she goes back to save Taesul. Her father warns her repeatedly about this. She doesn't listen. The clue here is the boulder keeps on being pushed; Sisyphus is in a constant struggle of the futility of his punishment; he can't escape; he is tied to this boulder to keep trying to push it to a destination, but all he does is repeatedly keep pushing the boulder infinitely.

Oh, wait, a show about time travel, a show about the futility of trying to change the past, a show where the future versions can go back with regret and meet their past versions which make the same mistakes over and over again, no matter how much Seohae tries to stop Taesul from opening the stupid suitcase that starts everything, he always opens it, it's useless, they're in a time loop. Each time he always creates the uploader, and each time the war happens, Seohae returns to stop him from being eliminated each time they always fail, and Seohae somehow leaves her diary telling her next self to do the same. It's an eternal loop. She's stuck being punished for carrying that weight, constantly relive that story over and over again, to try and save Taesul; her destination is always the start again. Like Sisyphus with the boulder. 

The only thing is why does she not remember or why is she acting like she doesn't remember, because it's different versions of her, it's a paradox, she always goes to find her next self, and she leaves that diary starting this all over again, her next self has now instructions always telling her to find Taesul, to save him and when she's going to be eliminated. (her wedding probably). Each time she goes back to save Taesul, she falls in love with him, they get closer to the wedding, and she gets shot. For Taesul, we see that the wedding leads to him making an ultimate decision, remember Sisyphus evades D twice. Seohae does this all the time to escape D for her mum and Taesul.

Meanwhile, Taesul only does this to avoid it for Tae san, his brother. Who is the second person? It's Seohae. They're Sisyphus for each other, surprise, Seohae ends up becoming Sisyphus always to try to prevent Taesul's demise and the war, but Taesul has a choice on the wedding day to choose either Seohae's life, or the world, what do you think he chooses? That's why I think he continually invents the uploader because of her, to save her, more than anything else. He always chooses futilely to save her above the results of the war. In doing so, he always ends up being the one who gets eliminated, but she always ends up determined to prevent that situation. 

Her dad was indeed right; she shouldn't meet with him; they both are in this repetitive loop, and the world is always a victim because of it. See how Sisyphus can try to be good and protective but still be seen as evil, a disaster, and a curse. So, in the end, both Seohae and Taesul are Sisyphus; both are punished every time. One by Taesul continually being caught and two by Seohae constantly losing her memories and forcing her self to repeat the journey again, to push that boulder over and over again. But with TKEM, we entered a timeline where change could happen after being stuck in an infinite loop forever, and that's interesting. With this show with how many times it seems Seohae has always written more instructions each time she travels, could we be in the timeline where things may become different? 

Sisyphus; A chance to change the past futilely

It seems like it more things are being revealed to them, that might be new information, Jung apologising and realising his mistake in probably being the one who takes Seohae's life in the wedding because he thinks she's evil (lied to by ICB) might be a new occurrence in this new timeline. There's more information slowly being added each time we do this time loop; the question is, where are we now? As I said, I don't know the science or calculations needed to understand the time travel aspect of the show, but that is important. 

So we have a star crossed romance that is being torn between the claws of D, two people punished continuously for just wanting to be with each other and putting the world at risk. We've seen what the results of Taesul's actions lead to; it leads to an apocalypse, a disaster and more; we've seen his stubbornness and determination not to let that stop him. All he wants is to evade D for his loved ones. But Seohae also becomes like that; she's also stubborn, also determined just like him to protect her loved ones despite both being advised not to do anything more, not to shake fate, not to mess around with time and life. Still, they never listen; they've put themselves in a time loop where they're being punished, and their punishment leads them again to do the same thing because of their desperate need to be together. 

It's heartbreaking; however, there's a slight hope for a happy ending, one because this director does stories of couples torn apart by forces and things they can't control (Master's sun, Dr Strange etc...) being tied to each other's downfall and growth, being pulled away no matter how desperate they want each other. Their need to be with each other puts others at harm, but he always ends it in a happy ending. Sisyphus actually gets his goal a bit, not how he wants it, but he gets to live a long life with the woman he loves. However, it's after he lives that life; he goes back to being punished. So maybe this timeline Seohae may succeed and live the married life she wanted with Taesul (she does not know she loves him, she will fall for him repeatedly each time they do a loop, both of them always do); however, the sad truth is it was not her first version/authentic version that got to live that happy ever after,  it might be this version though who knows? Either way, her original (her first-ever version, always suffered and had to be the one to push that eternal boulder with no end, she didn't get to see her ending) but this one or another future version may do. Taesul also has a chance to have a happy ending because even though his story ends with the first part of Sisyphus, Sisyphus finds a way to get out of the underworld and go back to his wife, so again it's like yeah, his first version did get punished, did get eliminated, failed, but this version or a future version may get a chance to spend that time with this Seohae. 

Do you get me? It's not their original versions that get the happy ending, but it's still them that gets a chance to live old and have a happy life. So I'm hopeful, is what I'm trying to say. Thought that infinite loop of futility and failure to escape mistakes isn't a great sign. Let me know what you think about Sisyphus so far. Are you like me? Are you intrigued by this love story, and what are your theories? Let me know. 

[tumblezwei]

Honestly, I feel like people are being more critical of localizations because of companies like Funimation having their translators basically admitting they wiggle in agendas or things that were totally absent in the original (such as the prison school gamergate reference, the patriarchy in dragon maid, the social distancing reference in kaguya) or that they even hate the audience they're working for. It has only been a handful of incidents but it really doesn't take a lot to break trust, especially with one light novel being censored to remove paragraphs of LGBT+ content/context.

I feel that if companies hadn't basically chipped away at the trust their audience has in them, then people would have complained less about the nagatoro localization. Though, I think how they used "sus" for nagatoro was a little... weird? From what I remember seeing, "sus" was closer to the middle of the sentence rather than the end which is how it would normally be used which made the sentence read weirdly.

I agree in part about Funimation and it’s weird and sometimes stupid decisions, but that doesn’t really justify in my mind the absolute vitriolic hatred people have for translations that are just mildly different. Inserting events like gamergate or patriarchy are annoying for a couple reasons, but the way I see it the worst thing they’ve done is lead English speaking weebs to believe that every instance of changed dialogue is a deliberate wrong act. That’s how we get things like the Nagatoro discourse or a complete misunderstanding the the best way to localize is to translate exactly 1 to 1 with the original text. When often that just isn’t the case. 

And like, sometimes changing it isn’t actually a problem worth getting so angry about? The gamergate one? Sure, that inserted a completely separate political controversy from a foreign country that had no reason to be there. Dragon Maid? It made Lucoa OOC in that moment because the whole point of the scene was that she didn’t know about human societal norms. But Kaguya? Why is that such a big deal? Sure it may age a bit poorly, but it didn’t mischaracterize anything, it didn’t insert some political message, it didn’t take away from the scene at all. It was a small reference to something that was and still is effecting the entire world by just changing the phrasing a little. Why is that so horrible? Y’all have to choose better hills to die on sometimes and that one ain’t it. 

What I’m trying to get at is, while Funimation can be shitty, not everything they do is worth getting so heated about. Are you getting mad because it changes something fundamental to the show, or are you getting mad because a company you don’t like changed something arbitrary? There is a difference and you should pay attention to it. 

[queenlua]

Last week you mentioned GPG has really serious problems. Could you tell me more about them? I can't find much of anything online.

first, thanks for your patience with this appallingly late reply! september hit me like a truck :P

second: huh, wow, okay, a cursory google search really failed to turn up much stuff, huh. depressing!

i'm-a talk about the summer 2019 keyserver attack, not because that's the only issue / security vuln / fuck-up the project has ever had, but because it's (1) a hilariously bad fuck-up, and (2) generally reflective of how the project deals with security concerns, and thus demonstrates that the project is fundamentally pretty unserious

so.

this gist, by one of GnuPG's maintainers, does an okay job of summarizing the problem. a brief summary:

* one of the putative purposes of OpenPGP is to provide a "web of trust" via keyservers. i know Jane Doe, i meet her in person, i verify she is who she says she is, and i sign her key; that signature gets reflected in some keyserver, which acts like a big phone book. now, in the future, if you can't personally go verify Jane Doe's trustworthiness, but you do trust me, you can trust communications from Jane Doe, and you looked all this info up in the keyserver

* "what if a malicious actor tried to overload the keyserver?!?!" e.g. what if i spam ~150k signatures on some dude's key just to fuck with the network

* the answer, in the case of GnuPG, is, "this software is shitty and bad and can't deal with that volume so it just grinds to a fucking halt"

* ...and also most the keyservers try to copy their data from each other so you can have a ~web of trust~ throughout the network, which means, these malicious keys quickly perpetuate through the entire nnetwork

* which means anyone who receives the Forbidden Key Data TM, in practical terms, has broken their fucking GnuPG install, and that whole ~web of trust~ thing we built up is now unusable

technically speaking, this is not a security lapse per se! no cryptography has been broken; no secret data has been leaked. it is, however, a fairly straightforward denial of service attack, and is probably kind of disappointing if you wanted your security software to, you know, do software things

and look, anyone can be bitten by a nasty bug. you'll never see me being like "WOW WHAT DUMBFUCKS, HOW COULD ANYONE WRITE SUCH A STUPID BUG," because, y'know, there but for the grace of god i go, and all that. if anyone tells you they're smart enough to never write a bug, they're a fucking liar.  (my full-time job for a while was literally proving those people liars, and i never fucking failed, not because i am brilliant, but because all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god. [sorry for all the god stuff; my long-abandoned southern baptist heritage comes through when i'm talking security for some reason])

however! the manner in which you respond to such a vulnerability matters:

* let's say i had discovered this bug in GnuPG. the industry standard, if i'm kind and polite, is: i disclose the bug privately to the maintainers, and they have a 90-day window during which to fix it. if they still haven't fixed the problem at the end of the 90 days, that's fine, that's their prerogative, but *i* also get to announce to the world "hey there's this bad bug, here's how i found it, and here's how to exploit it."

this is done to keep The World In General TM safer. see, i'm just some rando. if *i'm* able to find a bug in your shitty software, then it's guaranteed the NSA or Unit 8200 or some-other-super-secret-government-agency absolutely has the resources and wherewithal to find the same bug. and also, some slimy just-in-it-for-the-money hacker gang probably also has the resources to find it. by telling the company "hey, i will go public with this in 90 days," i'm lighting a fire under their ass to actually fix the problem, rather than just letting them pretend security by obscurity will save them, and if they don't fix it by then, then at least users have a prayer of finding out, hey, these dudes do not take security problems seriously, and making informed choices based on that.

there is some wiggle room in this. for instance, the fuck are cloud vendors supposed to do about something like Spectre/Meltdown? there were some shitty, not-100%-effective mitigations that could be done in software, but fundamentally the only real fix was getting new hardware, and tragically, we cannot redesign, manufacture, and ship brand new CPUs to everybody who might be affected within a 90-day timeframe. ergo, Google Project Zero pushed their disclosure deadline way out on that. but, crucially: they still went public at some point, and Intel did not cry "wah" or "no fair" or anything like that. they worked with researchers as best as they could, and once the cat was out of the bag, they offered public resources to help developers understand how their software might be affected. that's the rules of the game.

compare this to, uh, GnuPG's outrageously shitty response (from the previously-linked gist), which can basically be summarized as:

* "wah ocaml is complicated and we don't know how to maintain our own fucking software wah"

* "ten years [?!?!?!] wasn't enough time for us to fix the problem wah"

* "whoever did this attack is a hater :((((("

which. what. what the actual fuck. those are not actual reasons to not fix your sofwtare.

also, the way in which you present your software matters:

* i've thrown up shitty hobby projects on github before. if someone came to me all earnest with a CVE against them, i'd laugh, append the README to say "yo i threw this together on a weekend while i was buzzed, you should absolutely not be relying on this for anything that matters, xoxo lua." that is 100% fine! advertising THIS SOFTWARE IS NOT NECESSARILY SECURE and thus electing not to give a shit about security problems is fine.

* i've been a part of things that are... somewhere between a hobby project and Real Software TM. e.g., research prototypes that you're hoping will be widely used so you can get a better sense of desired use cases and unexpected constraints, but which you hope will be used primarily by "power users" or others who are interested in that project's specific goals.

such a project may not be able to offer the same kinds of security guarantees as Fancy Corporate Software, and that's fine, so long as they're open and honest about stuff like: what the goals of the project are, what we're sure of and what we're less sure of, how we're vetting our stuff, what our policies are when someone does report a security issue, stuff like that. there's plenty of stuff maintained on a volunteer basis that i'd generally trust because, i expect they'll notify me if there is a serious security concern to be worried about, or they have a long track record of excellence in a narrowly-tailored space, etc. that's all good.

* what you cannot, cannot, cannot do, is: claim to offer some kind of robust security solution to people in actually-precarious situations, and then not actually act like a steward of those person's interests. if you're, oh, telling Venezeulan dissidents "our [shitty hobby] software [with gaping, well-known vulnerabilities that haven't been exploited yet ONLY because no major nation-state entity has felt threatened by our code yet, but if they were so threatened, they could trivially wreck the entire project using a well-documented years-old vulnerability we can't be assed to fix because ocaml is hard i guess] is safe and reliable to use!"

...if you're telling political dissidents that? and then you get over-the-top pissed off at someone pointing out the fucking problem you refuse to fix? and somehow make it all about mememe? then fuck you, sincerely. the threat those dissidents face is not someone breaking the fucking key network. the threat is you, you personally, because you are fucking lying to them about what your software is able to do.

GOD. sorry, just. i reread that link and got so pissed again. fuck that attitude entirely. if you let people down, fucking just sit with that for a bit, okay?  sit and think and do better next time.  christ.

anyway.

this is a particularly gratuitous example of GnuPG maintainers being little shits, but in general they've been lackadaisical and dismissive some other times in the past when people have brought them real security problems, and then act all pissy if, y'know, people go public with said security problems. i haven't kept up with their work lately (i think maybe the community got kind of annihilated by this keyserver thing?) & i have other bones to pick with any project of that type (it's kind of taking the wrong tack entirely imho), but like, yeah, in general if a software community's response to security bugs is "oh gosh that's hard maybe we'll get to it someday," you should not be trusting that software lol

[quercus-queer]

BA’s Reckoning

Yes, I stole this title from the Sporkful podcast. You should check it out!

So just a reminder the whole thing that kicked this off was when Tammie Teclemariam tweeted the photo of Rapoport in brown face (yes its brown face its a purposeful caricature of Puerto Rican ppl, his girlfriend called him her papi in the caption as well) saying he should simply write the article on Puerto Rican food then (the issue was Illyanna Maisonet, a Puerto Rican food writer, got rejected rudely by Rapo for her pitch to write about Puerto Rican food) Which brings up the larger issue of BA being racist and not covering any other dishes besides Eurocentric ones, and the ones that aren't Eurocentric are almost always either whitewashed or done by white people which is what happened with Masionet’s article (this is where Amanda Shapiro and Meryl Rothstein come in).

This led to a zoom meeting where Rapo made a shitty apology leading Sohla El-Waylly’s instagram posts, where she condemns Rapo, talks about her 50k salary despite having 15 years of restaurant experience (She ran a fucking restaurant and 50k in NYC is pathetic), being hired to help white editors, and not being paid for ANY of her video appearances (none of the poc you see in videos have been compensated including the zoom videos). Which has led to many people at BA being exposed for being terrible (Conde Nast is the parent company and owns BA, Vogue, Architectural Digest, Allure, Glamour, Wired, Epicurious,Teen Vogue among other things... also take note how most of these have consistently been criticized for their racism or “race problems”)

ANYWAY here’s a general guide of what each BA person has done, this is in no way comprehensive, feel free to investigate on your own, always fact check and form your own opinions!

Adam Rapoport: Brown face, not paying his non-white employees for their video appearances, treating his assistant Ryan Walker-Hartshorn (a black woman) like shit (she was working overtime and was barely making rent with what he was paying her), he's sexist (see every video with Molly) and racist (mixing up Sohla and Priya Krishna and never apologizing) and more!

Check out the Business Insider piece, twitter (Tammie’s, Christina Chaey’s, and Priya’s), Sohla’s podcast and interviews, and someone made a compilation of Rapo being condescending I think

Matt Duckor: Disgusting, racist, homophobic, sexist all around terrible person, probably the most obviously terrible of the bunch (see Rick Martinez’s insta plus Duckor’s own tweets), strung along Sohla for months saying that her pay was “stuck in legal” so that she would keep appearing in videos, gave Sohla a contract when this stuff first started happening to try and shut her up, HE is the one deciding pay for everyone at BA and was the one not paying poc for video appearances.

Check out Rick’s Insta, Twitter for Duckor’s tweets (screenshots bc he deleted his account)

Carla Lalli Music: First off, ppl are pointing out she was condescending af to a lot of her guests on her show (except for the white ones). The racism at BA did not start nor stop with Adam Rapoport and guess who was editor in chief before him? Yup, Mrs. Carla Lalli Music! Necessary amendment: Carla was the food director NOT the editor in chief and she is currently an editor at large... still a powerful position though and I think the sentiment still stands. She had a pretty pathetic twitter thread about how she should’ve done more but was focused on the sexism/focusing on women, strange because she also sent that shitty email to two women along with Delany and Brad after the two of them, Delany, and Brad were talking in the kitchen, telling them not to enter the kitchen without permission (not enforced on Brad or Delany obviously, only the two women who happen to not be white) I misread the article, Brad was a part of the convo, he did NOT receive the email, and didn't respond to the articles request for comment.. he fucking works in the test kitchen, i’m an idiot and that's on me

Business insider and her twitter 

Alex Delany: I have a post with the screenshots of the confederate flag cake he made himself because he felt the “need to express some southern heritage in cake form. Such a glorious cake...” for his friend moving to South Carolina, the lovely vine with the classic “F*g is a bundle of sticks joke” also have a post discussing that, he’s wildly underqualified for DRINKS editor and overpaid, also his girlfriend is Allegra Lorenzotti whose mother Eva Lorenzotti, is in Jeffery Epstein’s black book which is concerning (though who knows maybe Delany is dating a different wealthy Allegralo), also those sexist tweets

I have screenshots from Tumblr, ppl have the vine on twitter along with the sexist tweets (he deleted his twitter and Tumblr btw)

Andy Baraghani: There are screenshots of Alyse Whitney’s (an asian woman) twitter thread saying Andy purposefully undercut her articles multiple times because of a petty feud with Antoni from Queer Eye by using his friendship with Amanda Shapiro (Whitney’s editor) to kill the story, which is shitty and brings up the bigger picture of BA being cliquey and getting in with a friend of a friend and such which is just a toxic work environment

Amanda Shapiro: Puerto Rican food article, Alyse Whitney’s articles, she’s a perpetuator of the toxic work environment, stealing Nikita Richardson’s work and getting credit and pay for it (pls check out her twitter and the articles with her), also racist, should not be in charge

Chris Morocco: Made one (1) basic post (simply a reply to Molly calling him out actually) at the beginning of all this agreeing to not be in anymore videos until his coworkers got paid/backpay, he said he was complicit (duh) but also that he had no idea this was happening, but guess what? He is the one that hired Sohla for only 50k! There is a whole can of worms about how little Sohla was hired for despite her experience plus talent along with her current pay and Chris is a part of that. Also both his gumbo video and Halo Halo recipe are downright disrespectful at BEST and they should not have had a white man doing them (again with the white people doing articles/videos that can be EASILY given to someone whose actually part of that culture) and before anyone says anything yes the gumbo was for Chris’s show (strange how only white ppl get shows or in Andy’s case unless you’re friends with a higher up) still doesn't make the video less disrespectful, also he’s SAID he is friends with Anna Wintour (head of vogue, and a racist “there’s no room for black women” the reason the vogue challenge is happening)

Brad Leone: Himbo status permanently revoked, “Brad who just found out racism is real”(Sohla said this in the Sporkful podcast) is NOT acceptable for a 35 year old white man whose coworkers are suffering in a clearly toxic work environment, the screenshot with “I didn’t sign her contract she did” is NOT how you respond to your coworker being underpaid and disrespected by the company she works at because she is not a white man. I do not like him anymore, he has made apologies but ignorance to this extent is willful and I don't completely buy it the rumors he was upset Delany was going to be fired/would quit if Delany was fired/was mad at Sohla is not something I was able to confirm but based off of what I’ve seen he really needs to prove himself to be better, he can stay if that’s what his coworkers want but he is on thin fucking ice

Stuff I can't accredit to a single person, but BA is racist: 

NIKITA RICHARDSON, pls check her out on twitter

They sent Sohla to interview black chefs (bc BA has a bad track record) because she was the darkest and there were literally NO black chefs working at BA

Making Priya only cook Indian dishes (which were kinda whitewashed) I actually think this may have been Duckor

Tokenizing the poc staff (they would make them be in the kitchen when filming the white hosts shows and push them in front of the camera to highlight nonexistent diversity)

Paying Hawa Hassan only $400 for her video (probs also Duckor)

[myglogic]

Priceless | Bang Chan | 01

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Pairing: Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x female reader

Genre: Crime, enemies to friends to lovers, angst, fluff

Short summary: Y/N is a journalist who dreams of writing a frontpage article at the Seoul Times. She gets the chance to attend the Bang Charity Gala through her work where she plans exposing Kevin Bang, father of Chan and one of the richest men in Seoul. How is she planning to do that? The Gala is a masquarade ball where no one will recognize her. Y/N just wants justice for herself and everyone Kevin Bang hurt.

DISCLAIMER: Everything in this fanfic is fiction - that includes Chan’s fictional father who of course does not represent Chan’s real father! ♥

The event was full of people. Full of filthy rich people, you might add. It was the event of the year for Seoul’s richest and most famous people. The Bang Gala. What is the Bang Gala, you might ask? It was a charity gala where tons of money was gathered for a good cause every year. The cause is always kept a secret until the gala. Last year the money went to an organization that helps orphans who didn’t get adopted to adjust to society. Sounds like a beautiful event, right? In one year, the money went to survivors of natural catastrophes, another year it went to the homeless. Each year millions of dollars were donated. You couldn’t even imagine how big the sums must be.

Bullshit. That was what you thought. Because the people behind this charity gala were the Bang family. Kevin Bang, the owner of Seoul’s biggest real estate agency, no, you could even say the owner of South Korea’s biggest real estate agency hosted the gala. In the media, he was known for being a generous businessman, always leaving huge tips at the restaurants he was eating at. He was not only known for being generous, but also being down to earth too.

All of it was an act. Because you knew who the real Kevin Bang was. You knew how the real, evil, Kevin Bang was like and how he treated the people around him too. He was the reason why your father lost everything.

You were just a kid when all of that happened. You didn’t like to dwell on the past but you were a girl who hated unfair treatment. The past was the past but it wasn’t easy to forget. In the past two years you have been working for a pretty big newspaper – the Seoul Times. Okay, working would be an overstatement. You were basically there to proofread the articles written by the real authors and bring coffee. But you were still happy to be there because it was a start. You studied journalism but had no experience yet so it was even a miracle that you got a job at such a renowned company. Sometimes you did write small articles but mostly it was about boring stuff, for example, how the private school next door opened their new library which was – what a coincidence – sponsored by none other than Kevin Bang.

Your parents were proud of you because you worked your ass off at university for this degree. It was very underwhelming to get such an underpaid job, but you had to work hard to become the head editor one day. Right now, you worked at the “celebrity” department, where they basically gathered all kind of news about any kind of celebrity. Like for example how BTS got another win for their latest album. It wasn’t what you envisioned. Sometimes you switched departments too and just work wherever you were needed. That is why you needed an incredible story to write, a story that you have discovered. You didn’t only write articles but sometimes you had to investigate too, like doing interviews outside the office if the writer himself was too lazy to do it. But this story was your personal story. No help from Seoul Times or any other editor. You knew that this story, your story, would secure you a job on the top. That story was exposing Kevin Bang.

Exposing the real Kevin Bang. Not the beloved charitable, kind person that everyone looked up to, but the asshole, getting-anything-he-wants Kevin Bang. Why was your hatred for him so deep when everyone seemed to love that guy? The answer was simple. If something didn’t fit into Mr. Bang’s plans then he just bought everything with his money and influence. He was one of the reasons why an orphanage was demolished because he wanted to free some space for his clients, so he built a 5-star hotel on that area. According to your research he made some hefty payments to make sure that this does not reach the media. It hurt you a lot because you volunteered a lot at that specific orphanage. The kids there were not prepared to leave at all. It was a shitty move of him and you hated him more for that.

But that was just one of his many wrongdoings. You hated reading anything about that guy and his family.

♥.

Chaos. The office was very chaotic because of the on-going charity gala. A lot of newspapers used the gala to get interviews with big names, because anyone who had influence attended that gala. But this year’s theme was not optimal to get a lot of interviews: Masquerade. Everyone had to wear masks so no one knew who you were.

It was interesting since all of the people there already had two faces. The theme made a lot of interviewers back out because if you can’t see the celebrity, interviewing them would be difficult.

You were sitting at your desk, trying to find more dirt on the Bang family when you heard a stack of papers landing next to you, making you flinch a little. It was your supervisor, Hana, who looked at you, annoyed. “Proofread these, okay?”, she sighed, rubbing her temples.

“Okay.”, you said, not wanting to annoy her more.

“I need these by tomorrow by the way.”, she added arrogantly.

“Excuse me, what?!”, you said, standing up in shock. “I can’t even get half of those done in a day!”

She stared you down with an angry expression. “Okay, then why don’t you go and try to interview some masked celebrities at that stupid gala, huh? Our top interviewers don’t want to go because they think it’s a waste of their time!”

You sighed. “Just because you have problems, doesn’t mean that you can put all the workload onto me.”

“I am sick of you complaining, Y/N. This gala is stressing me enough already. It’s not like anything happens at these galas anyway, I don’t even know why we have to send so many employees there. The big boss is crazy. Taejoon doesn’t want to go and we have to send someone from our department.”, Hana said angrily, clearly angry at Taejoon who usually does the interviews for your department.

Then an idea popped into your mind. “Wait… So technically if Taejoon goes to that gala thing, doesn’t he get a free pass?”

“Yeah, we cannot identify the celebs there anyway. But we still have to send ten of our people so that they can write down how much money was donated, where the money goes to, blah blah. Also, if anyone decides to show up without a mask, interview them. Stuff like that.”

This was the idea! You gathered information on Kevin Bang for a while now and if you could find a way to get in there, you might be able to turn everyone against him. You just needed to get the attention of the guests and the media. You knew that you wouldn’t get the recognition you wanted but it would be a start to dig the dirt on him.

Maybe, if you tell the boss that it was you who exposed him, he will let you write the big front-page article about him. Nobody knew more shit about Kevin Bang than you.

“You know, if you let someone else proofread these articles, I would go to that gala instead of Taejoon.”, you offered her.

She gave you a tempting look. “You never went, right? Of course, you would be excited to enter such an exclusive event. But please don’t fall asleep, it gets boring pretty quickly.”, Hana warned you. “Also, you can’t wear a mask as someone from the media. You need to stay in the background, especially since you are still a rookie. Got it?”

Yeah, of course, it was because it was an exclusive event. It’s not like you had a huge ass plan to destroy Kevin Bang or something. “Yeah, got it. Can I go?”, you asked innocently.

She sighed. “Okay. But don’t do anything stupid!”

“I won’t!”

‘At least not when you are around.’, you thought.

Now that you got your free pass to the Bang charity gala, you needed to make up a plan. A really good one. Because your operation was big and you couldn’t risk making any mistakes. The gala was in two days and you quickly needed to figure out what to do and how to do it.

♥.

With all the information you had on Kevin Bang, you knew you had to somehow get the attention of the audience that would attend the gala. Through some insider information you found out that there will be a huge projector. It’s projecting at the main stage. So, you somehow needed to get to the tech room to show the audience your evidence.

You found out that a friend of yours, Felix, will be working there on the night of the gala as a waiter for drinks. You were sure that he would be a huge help and approached him but at first, he thought you were crazy. You were basically trying to ruin a charity event. But after explaining why you wanted to do it, he agreed to help you with your plan. There was a designated area for the press, so you needed to get inside and change first to mix with the actual guests.

This was your plan:

1.    Get inside the actual building as someone from the press

2.    Bring a sexy dress and a mask

3.    With the help of Felix get in the employee area to change

4.    Act as if you’re a guest and talk negatively about Kevin Bang

5.    Get in the computer room to “hack” the projector

6.    Expose Kevin Bang

Sometimes you felt like one of those drama Youtube channels. But this was more than just telling everyone about a horrible person. You did this for your family, especially for your dad. Your family was ruined because of him. Your parents worked their hardest just so you could go to university. Of course, you also did this to write an article about him and get a better position at work. But there was more of a personal agenda behind this.

After a long day of work, you finally came home, clearly exhausted. The gala was tomorrow and you were really nervous about everything. Your roommate Jisung walked out of the kitchen and looked at you. Jisung and you met on your first day of university and became friends quickly. He was your closest friend and you knew you could trust him with your life. “Hey, I got a huge ass dress delivery for you today? What are you going to do with such a fancy dress?”, he asked you curiously.

You smiled at him, determined. “I will attend the Bang charity gala tomorrow.”

Jisung’s eyes widened. “What? For real? Because of your job or what?”

You smirked. “Just wait. After tomorrow, I will finally get the recognition I deserve. And yeah, I will get in thanks to my job.”

Jisung looked at you suspiciously as he sat down with a bowl of chips in front of you. “You're planning something, aren’t you?”

You put on a confident smile as you laid down on the couch. “Yeah. Look, I will tell you everything after the gala. It’s a huge thing so…”

“Don’t get arrested or something, dude.”, Jisung sighed. “Well, since you won’t tell me now, why don’t we watch a movie on Netflix then?”

“Sure.”

♥.

The day of the gala arrived quickly and you found yourself with a camera hanging onto your neck in front of the huge ass gala building. You gave your dress to Felix before so he could hide it in the employee changing rooms. Your hands were sweaty as you took some pictures.

“So, we will be at different locations throughout the building. Try to get some good pictures and if you recognize someone, try to get an interview, okay?”, one of the interviewers told the Seoul Times journalists.

As you went to your designated areas you looked around for Felix to get out of here. At the same time, you admired the huge building with a rich history. Literally, rich. The guests were coming in slowly and everyone looked glamorous and fancy. Their dresses probably cost more than you earn in a month. The location was beautifully decorated, the main stage was huge. While looking around you saw the tech people going upstairs. The tech room must have been upstairs. You couldn’t find a good floor plan on the internet and security was high alert. There had to be a way to get up there. Dressing up as someone from the tech crew would be too obvious but no one would suspect a masked woman in a dress. Especially since you were masked, you were even safer.

As everyone was seated Kevin Bang entered the main stage shortly after. His crisp suit looked expensive, his hair was slicked back. His face was half covered by a black mask. Behind him was his wife, probably number 6 by now, and his son Chan. They also wore masks that didn’t do a good job with covering their faces. Your gaze wandered more towards to his son than Kevin himself. He looked handsome, you couldn’t deny that, with his black hair and dark blue, perfectly sitting suit. You also noticed that he didn’t look too excited to stand there. Interesting.

“Welcome to the annual Bang charity gala! I am happy to see so many faces – well, technically I can’t see you but I appreciate every single one of you!”, Kevin said enthusiastically which earned him hearty laughs from the audience. You rolled your eyes. “You for sure have been wondering where the money goes to this year! This year, we are donating the money of this beautiful gala to a brand-new hospital! With the money you donate every year we can build a completely new hospital where everyone can be treated! The best thing about the hospital?”, he started and showed a picture of the future hospital that was projected behind him. “We will get the best doctors! Anything for our residents of Seoul!”

The crowd cheered and clapped politely. The rich were delighted. “Let’s see how much money we can gather tonight!”

You scoffed at his stupid smirk. “What a freaking liar, the money doesn’t even arrive there.”, you whispered angrily.

The event kicked off, classical music was playing in the background. Since the theme was “masquerade” the guests started waltzing in pairs. It did look very appealing but it felt like this wasn’t your world. In fact, this was not your world. You sometimes wished it was. Not worrying about anything, especially money. You knew you could never fit in.

You then got up looking around. Security was everywhere. Then you spotted Felix who walked up to you. “Hey, sorry, I’m late. These rich people never stop drinking.”, he sighed, clearly exhausted as he pushed his blonde hair back.

“It’s fine the event just started. How can I get out of here without security noticing?”, you asked him, feeling the fear inside you coming up.

“Just walk next to me. As long as you don’t act suspiciously nothing will happen.”, he assured you and walked you to the employee changing rooms. You noticed a few glances from some security guards but nobody stopped you.

As you were getting dressed, Felix spoke up. He was hiding behind some lockers so you could dress in peace. “But Y/N… what if you get caught? How do you plan on getting out of here after doing that stunt?”

You sighed, “I need to do everything step by step, Felix. First, I need to get to the tech room and make sure that everyone out there can here hear me. Then I will decide what to do. But I won’t get caught.”, you told Felix while putting on your red dress that had lace details on the top part. It wasn’t tight but still looked really nice. It was a rather flowy dress and you could breathe in that dress. It looked expensive enough for the elite of Seoul. Good thing that you can rent dresses. You then put on some red lipstick and put your mask on that covered nearly your entire face except for your lips. You were unrecognizable, especially since you looked like a zombie normally.

As you turned the corner to meet Felix his eyes widened for a moment. “Wow, you look nice! I bet you will fit in without any problems!”

You smiled at him and then squeezed his cheek. “Aww! Thank you, Felix. I’m really nervous… but I have to do this.”

He looked at you with a worried expression, “Please, be careful, alright?”

You nodded and quietly exited the dressing room. Some people sat at their assigned seats, others were talking about the event. The music was loud but the atmosphere was alright. For now.

You decided to join a group who were talking. They were two women who were gushing about how extravagant this gala was. They were wearing expensive designer dresses.

“I love the gold details in the decoration.”, one of the women, the one who wore a black mask, said.

“I wish they would serve some more seafood. The buffet is horrible.”, the other one said, sighing. Wow.

“But no matter what Mr. Bang does, his galas are still the best!”, black mask spoke up again.

“I don’t get why everyone likes him so much…”, you spoke up, taking a glass of champagne from a waiter that was walking by.

The women looked at you, a look of confusion in their eyes. “Why would you say that? Everyone loves him.”, black mask said, defending the man.

You sighed. “I heard that he's a real asshole in reality. Ever heard of when he bulldozed an orphanage for his new hotel?”, you told them.

They gasped in shock. “He would never do something like that, would he?”

“Well he paid the media so word couldn’t get out.”, you told them.

Then they started discussing if this was real or not. That was what you did for the first hour. While there was some show on the stage, you trash talked Kevin Bang. While some people didn’t even listen to you, others were saying that they had assumptions about him. Kevin Bang was a smart man. He wouldn’t show his real face to anyone.

As you were looking around the room, you felt something or rather someone staring at you. Now that you think of it, you felt that even earlier. Then you saw that in fact someone was staring at you. That suit and mask… He looked really familiar. He walked up to you and held out his hand. “Would you like to dance with me?”

You were surprised and didn’t know what to do. “Uh, I’m not really a dancer.”

“Just follow my lead, you will be fine.”, his butter smooth voice assured you. Damn it.

You then took his hand and followed him to the dance floor. He put one hand on your waist and his other hand held yours. You wondered why he asked you out of all people. You carefully followed his steps, trying not to embarrass yourself.

“So, what’s your deal? Who are you?”, he grumbled, his eyes dark.

“This is a masquerade, isn’t it? Why would you ask me that?”, you told him, slightly surprised by his sudden change of attitude. What was he trying to do?

“I heard you talk shit about my father. What the hell are you even doing here if you hate him that much, huh?”

Your eyes widened. Of course, he was Kevin Bang’s son! You recognized him from earlier. “Why do you act like everyone in this room loves him? As if I am the only person who dislikes him.”

He tightly squeezed your hand and waist to symbolize his seriousness. “Oh, really? You don’t know him. He is a businessman, sometimes he has to make sacrifices like relocating an orphanage.”

So, he was listening to you. Interesting. “You call that relocating? You don’t know shit.”, you said in an annoyed tone.

“And you know that better than his own son?”

It was your turn to give him a tight squeeze on his shoulder. “Yeah, I actually have my sources.”

You were dancing in circles and his gaze bore into yours. You would find it cute that he tried to defend his father if he wasn’t Kevin’s son. “I will find out who the hell you are. I bet you are one of the Lee’s. You guys are always jealous of us.”

You sighed. “I am so jealous of you and your life. Oh, fuck off. You know, I don’t have to like you or your father. And here I thought I would dance with a gentleman.”, you said, trying to sound disinterested.

The music finally came to an end and you looked at the man in front of you. “It was not nice to dance with you. Let’s not do that again.”, you said and turned your back, walking away from him.

“Wait! Who the hell are you?”, Chan shouted, gaining a few looks from the crowd. But before he could follow you, you were lost in the crowd.

You tried to go through busy crowds and then tried to find a way to go to the computer/tech room. You decided that it would be best if you pretended to search for a bathroom or something, so you sneaked upstairs without anyone noticing you for now.

It was time. Time to get revenge. Time to show the world who the real Kevin Bang was. Time to shine.

A/N: Hello guys, this is my first (consistent) series on this blog! This is also the first time I am writing for Chan and I hope I do him justice. Buckle up because this story has a lot of twists and turns. I appreciate every form of feedback and maybe even theories! What do you think will happen next? Thanks for reading! ♥

[ms-demeanor]

It was kind of your side rant in a rant but, is it really not normal in most areas to expect everyone who drives to have at least very basic knowledge of cars? At one point it was nearly a required class in our schools!

Auto shop in my school district got cancelled in 1997, four years before I would have been able to take it. I don’t know what the driver’s ed requirements are like now but I never had to take even a driver’s ed class (I think because I didn’t get my permit until 6 months before I turned 18?). At one point I tried to convince my Girl Scout Troop that we should earn the Car Care Badge but my troop leader was pretty aggressively against it (back in my day the “drive for a greener world” section was “learn how to change your oil” and my troop leader was worried we’d get crushed to death by a car or something).

Beyond that, in spite of living in the strongest car culture in the world, pretty much nobody has ever talked to me about how cars work unless I’ve intentionally sought that information out.

I didn’t know much about working on cars until I started dating my partner, who does all his own car maintenance. Since I started dating my partner and learning how to work on cars I’ve:

replaced my air filter (this is literally the easiest bit of car repair you can do. You’re probably due for it, google “how to change air filter on X type of car”, get a filter from autozone for $17, replace it, and cackle because Jiffy Lube will never again be able to charge you $50 to do it; if you’ve never worked on your car do this now you will feel so powerful and you’ll want to do more)

changed my oil

flushed my transmission

replaced a water pump in a Saturn engine (Saturn engines get bonus difficulty points because they’re so tiny that they’re impossible to work on; part of the reason I’ve done so much repair stuff is because my partner’s hands couldn’t fit in my car’s engine)

replaced a thermostat in a Saturn engine

replaced a bunch of fucking belts (including once with only one wrench and a headlamp in a dark parking lot for a friend)

replaced O2 sensors on three different saturns (delightfully simple; I borrowed a wrench from my dad to replace an O2 sensor once and went outside and came back in five minutes later and he was like “Couldn’t get it done?” and I was like “What? No? I’m putting your wrench back because I’m finished” and he was floored - my dad doesn’t work on cars *at all*)

changed spark plugs

replaced 2 radiators on one miserable 1984 mazda truck

replaced 1 jeep radiator

changed so many headlights

done my brakes a bunch (pads and drums; this shit is so fucking easy please do your own brakes don’t pay the dealership like $600 for $20 in parts and half an hour’s work)

dropped my gas tank to replace the in-tank fuel filter

replaced my valve cover gasket after spending four miserable hours sitting in the engine compartment scraping the old one off

and I’m currently halfway through an ABS deletion on my 1989 XU. (gotta re-run brakelines and it’s annoying and we keep losing track of the double flaring tool)

I am not, by any means, a mechanic but I like working on cars and it’s not as hard as it might seem from the outside.

However I had to go looking for all of that information myself (when we started dating my partner didn’t expect me to work on cars with him, I had to ask him to show me) and anybody else who wants to work on cars has to do the same, at least around here.

Most new vehicles come with a maintenance schedule in the shitty little manual that comes with the car. If you buy new from a dealer they’ll probably have some kind of basic maintenance agreement during the warranty period.

None of that shows you how to jump a car or change your windshield wipers.

Anyway, if you are reading this and you want to learn how to fix your car here are some tips:

Get a real manual for your car. The shitty little twenty page booklet that tells you where the hazards are is good for quick reference but bad for fixing things. Get a Chilton’s Manual. And yeah, I would recommend Chilton’s over Haynes. These are manuals made by independent companies who bought the car in question, stripped it down while documenting it and taking pictures, and put it back together. These are *great.* I give out as gifts.

Go look for a forum on your particular type of car - this works if you’re having in-the-moment problems too. At one point my buddy was going to pick me up but his car wouldn’t re-start; we looked on a forum, discovered it was a fuse problem, found the super secret re-activation button hidden under a panel in the center console, and were able to drive off on our merry way to try to replace the fuse (I bought four sets of fuses before we gave up - turns out it was an accessory fuse for the brake light on the camper shell and also Toyota makes it so that a burned fuse on an accessory can pretty much kill your car, so that’s fun!)

Look for youtube videos of the fix you want to do. They’re not going to be out there for everything, some car communities have more nerds than others (jeeps jeeps jeeps jeeps jeeps jeep nerds are NERDS and there are videos for everything) but you’ll at least be able to find something similar to cross-reference the fix with your Chilton’s Manual.

If you want to learn or read about general repair stuff check out the Wrenching tag on Jalopnik. I find Jalopnik very soothing and read it a lot.

See if your local community college has an Automotive Technology program - there should be introductory courses and advanced courses and it’s a lot of work to take a class like that but it’ll be extremely worth the time and effort.

Ask to help when people you know are working on their cars. Your buddy  probably could use a spare set of hands to do his brakes and you can learn by watching and helping.

[my-soul-sings]

just my luck: chapter 1

Fandom: Wannabe Challenge Characters: Taehee x Reader 

Summary (placeholder): Having been cursed to live a life filled with misfortunes, moving to a new city to start anew was, as expected, a difficult process. But things start to change after you encounter a mysterious doctor who seems to know you even though you’ve never met him before. 

Notes:

Will contain spoilers for Taehee’s Story. 

The ‘Reader’ character will be left unnamed, and there are no mentions of ‘y/n’.

Taehee is trained in western medicine here, instead of oriental medicine.

The reader character will not be based on the in-game MC, other than her looks. The differences are because personally I think the in-game MC and Taehee’s personality don’t really match somehow.

This is basically my version of events of how Taehee and MC meet again. The details and events in this are not true to the game, other than Taehee’s backstory. 

For now it’ll be here on tumblr (if and until I move it to AO3) and i’ll be using the tag #justmyluck on the blog for chapter updates. 

***

The rain was loud in your ears. Cars whizzed by you, water splashing beneath the tires and onto the pavement as they went by, and people hurried about with their umbrellas that did little to keep them dry in this torrential weather. 

You stood still in the middle of the hustle and bustle, your luggage by your side and your broken umbrella hanging limp and useless in your hand. The cold rainwater seeped into your clothes, and you shivered as a chill ran down your spine when the strong wind blew against your frame. 

You could feel odd stares being directed your way, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your phone battery had been depleted, which meant you could no longer refer to Poogle Maps to get to where your new apartment was. You had already waited for the past hour trying to hail a cab to no avail, and no one was accepting your request on the Duber app. 

As if moving wasn’t stressful enough already, all of this just had to happen. But you weren’t surprised in the least—it was just another typical day in your unfortunate life. 

For as long as you could remember, you had terrible luck. At first it was trivial things like always getting the shitty prizes in a lucky draw no matter how many times you spun the wheel, and always losing in games of chance against friends. No matter where you went or what you did, it seemed you were doomed to consistently draw the short end of the stick. 

Your luck seemed to only get worse as you grew older. Injuries grew increasingly common, and more severe. You didn’t think there were so many ways a person could get hurt—you had to learn it the hard way, from slipping on a banana peel, getting knocked down by someone who accidentally ran straight into you, getting hit by stray soccer balls or baseballs in school… The events were countless. 

Your classmates used to joke that you had been cursed by a witch when you were younger. Sometimes you found yourself wondering if that was true after all. There was only so much bad luck one person could have in their life, and you seemed to be attracting a never-ending supply of it. 

You’d hoped that maybe things would change after moving to this new neighbourhood. You had even specifically asked for an apartment that had ‘good feng-shui’, hoping that would make some kind of difference.

It didn’t. You hadn’t even arrived in your new home yet, but you could already tell that things weren’t going to change. If you had been cursed by a witch or been fated to suffer neverending misfortune, then moving to a new neighbourhood to start afresh wasn’t going to change anything. 

With a sigh and a shiver, you decided to shake yourself out of your low spirits. No point dwelling on these things, you may as well hurry to your apartment before something worse happened. So you picked up the handle of your luggage and continued trudging on, your feet making squelching sounds with each step from the water that had filled your shoes. You’d get home one way or another, and a little rain wasn’t about to stop you.

Just as you finished that thought, the handle of your luggage broke, and the whole thing tumbled straight into a muddy puddle, sending specks of mud flying and staining your jeans.

It took everything in you to suppress a frustrated scream when you dipped your fingers into the dirty waters to pick up your luggage again. 

***

By the time you arrived at the apartment building, you looked like you had been to hell and back. 

But hey, at least you had come out alive, right?

Your landlord had been surprised to see you drenched from head to toe, and she had kindly offered a fresh towel and some hot tea for you after inviting you into her home. She was a kind elderly lady, and her warm welcome brightened your mood considerably. The tea had felt extra warm as you made small talk with her before taking the key to your apartment. 

But then your mood sank right back down to rock-bottom when you realised that you had to carry your heavy luggage up five whole flights of stairs, because it just so happened that the elevator wasn’t working. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anyone you could ask for help—certainly not the sweet old landlady. You felt bad to bother any of your neighbours too. 

So an hour and one rough tumble down the stairs later, you miraculously made it all the way up to your door. You would be jumping for joy if your arms didn’t feel like they were about to fall off. All you wanted to do was take a hot shower, lie down and get some sleep. Maybe take some painkillers before that too, because you could feel a migraine coming up. 

The apartment smelled a little musty when you entered, but otherwise, everything looked great. It was bare, seeing as there was some delay in the delivery of your furniture, but it was clean. There weren’t any bugs that you could see from a quick survey of the rooms, so that was good enough in your book. 

Looking around your simple studio apartment, you smiled to yourself, glad that you had finally made it here despite the many hiccups along the way. Nothing could dampen your spirits now; moving here marked the beginning of a new chapter in your life, and you were ready for your new job that would be starting in two weeks. 

You had a good feeling about all this somehow, despite dripping wet all over your floor and even though your sides hurt from falling down the stairs together with your luggage earlier. 

Cursed or not, you were excited about living here already. 

***

Two days later, your furniture still had not arrived. You had to make do with the sleeping bag you’d packed in your luggage for contingencies such as this. The moving company wasn’t getting back to you even though you had sent them a string of emails asking for updates. You hoped it was just a lack of staff around on the weekends, and that someone would get back to you by Monday.

Apart from that, there weren’t any major problems. Everything in the apartment was working fine. You had made sure to check everything to make sure you wouldn’t suffer some kind of freak accident in your own home—it had happened before, when the ceiling fan in the living room fell just when you left to take a drink. (Looking at it from another angle, you had been incredibly lucky with that close shave.)

The only issue left was the fever that you had woken up to that morning, definitely because you had been caught in the rain. Thankfully, the landlady had informed you that there was a clinic just across the street, so you made plans to go after forcing yourself to eat half of an apple. You didn’t have an appetite but you’d probably faint on the way if you went on an empty stomach, and ending up in the hospital was definitely not on your to-do list here. 

It was warm out when you stepped out of your apartment building. The sun was up, and the temperature was just right. Perfect for a walk. You’d probably enjoy it better if your head wasn’t pounding so much. 

It wasn’t too difficult to find the clinic. Like the landlady said, it was right across the street, a mere five minutes’ walk from your apartment. And then right down the street was a convenience store too. You’d go pick up some snacks and ready-made foods later — it’d be too tiresome to cook while sick.

The clinic wasn’t too full, thankfully. There were maybe about four to five people inside when you arrived, and after registering at the counter you took a seat and checked your phone. You hadn’t had the energy to reply to anything yesterday, so it seemed that your phone had blown up while you were gone.

The messages were mainly from Seohee, your best friend. You saw multiple missed calls and messages from her, and from what you could glean from the message previews, she had been worried because you just went MIA without updating her on your whereabouts. She had been worried from the start when she heard that you were going to live alone in a new city, without anyone accompanying you. 

Grimacing, you swiped right to open the chat, and you typed a quick message to assure her that you were doing fine and adjusting great, casually omitting the part where you had fallen sick and your furniture hadn’t arrived yet. No need to worry her, she had enough things on her plate to manage. 

The other messages were from random group chats that you didn’t have the energy to read at the moment, so you locked your phone and closed your eyes momentarily, leaning back in your seat and resting your head against the wall. The doctors seemed to be taking a while…

About half an hour later, your number was called. Finally. 

You stood up a bit too quickly, and black spots promptly appeared in your vision while your head started to spin. A nod was all you could manage when the receptionist pointed to one of the rooms down the hallway, while you took hesitant steps forward and tried to steady yourself. Eventually the dizziness subsided and your head cleared up a bit when you read the name written on the door plate: Dr. Taehee Kim. 

You repeated the name a few times in your head. It had a nice ring to it. You knocked twice on the wooden door and pushed down on the door handle to enter.

“Good morning.” You heard a deep, male voice, and your first thought was that you liked it. There was a soothing quality to it, and maybe it was an exaggeration but your headache seemed to lessen just from hearing him speak. 

You looked up, wearing a polite smile and returning the morning greeting. Or at least, you were about to, but then your voice caught in your throat and you found yourself staring into the eyes of who was quite possibly the most gorgeous man you had ever seen. He had thick, wavy black locks parted to the side, and a pair of deep set, dark grey-ish green eyes—a colour you had never seen before. His complexion was fair and otherwise flawless, and you could tell from his defined jawline and broad shoulders that he worked out regularly too. He looked handsome enough to be a model, and you couldn’t help but stare with widened eyes, while heat began to gather in your face. Whether it was from the fever, or because of him, you couldn’t tell. 

But getting to see such a handsome doctor… today had to be your lucky day. For once. 

The only thing was, it seemed to be the exact opposite for him. Contrary to the tone of his greeting, he now looked like he had just seen a ghost. He sprang to his feet the moment he saw you, and his chair rolled backwards until it hit the wall behind him with a loud thump. His eyes were blown wide, lips parted as he stared at you, searching your face for something… You didn’t know what, exactly. 

The normal thing to do now would be to sit in the empty chair next to his desk and for him to do his job, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move a single step. Not when he was looking at you like this, as if he had a million things to say but couldn’t. So you stood there, feet glued to the spot by the door as you stared back, blinking and confused. 

He spoke again after the tense silence stretched on for much longer than you’d have liked. 

“Is… Is it really you? Am I dreaming? Is this… real?”

In the silence of the room, his shaky whisper rang loud and clear in your ears. 

Affection. Sadness. Longing. They were unmistakable in his wavering voice, in his eyes that were starting to glisten with what seemed like tears. 

The only problem was, you didn’t understand why. Much less why it was being directed to you. You were missing something here, or maybe it was him. You didn’t know. Your head hurt, and you just wanted some medicine, and then to go home to sleep this fever off. 

But now your doctor was walking towards you, each footstep ringing in your ears as he drew closer and closer, his perplexed expression remaining the same. And for some reason you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his, much less find the strength to push him away when he stood an arm’s length away and gently held you by the shoulders. Even the way he tried to hold you was strange — his hands were shaking and his palms were barely brushing against your shoulders, hesitant and afraid. 

Maybe you had spoken too soon. It probably wasn’t a lucky day at all—when would you learn? Now you were stuck in an office with a weirdo who was getting way too emotional over a simple consultation.

“A-Are you… okay?” The words came out as a timid squeak, and you watched as he blinked, though his eyes didn’t lose the glass-like quality to them. The ceiling light was reflecting off his eyes, and they seemed to be glistening with fresh tears.

“I never thought… I… I can’t believe it’s- it’s- H-How could this happen?” 

You flinched when you felt something brush against your cheek, and it took a few seconds for you to realise that the back of his hand was ghosting over your skin. 

Belatedly, your fight-or-flight response finally kicked in and you pushed his hand away, putting your hands out to make him step back and put some much-needed distance between you. Handsome or not, this guy was getting downright creepy and inappropriate.

“Look, I don’t know who you are, and I think you’ve got the wrong person. I’ll just go to another clinic-” You turned around, ready to hightail it out of his office, when you felt his hand on your wrist, holding you in place. 

“No, wait. Please- Please wait. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

A voice pounded in your head then. An image flashed in your mind, one of a man who didn’t belong in this time period. He was dressed in traditional clothes, and he was holding you with tears streaming down his face. You couldn’t quite make out his face from the blurred picture that came and went like lightning, but the sound of his voice was the same as this doctor’s desperate plea. 

Then dizziness hit you once more, but this time it didn’t subside. The last thing you remembered before your vision turned black was the sound of him calling your name. 

***

A/N: I will be leaving this on tumblr for now, I’ll probably start posting on AO3 when I have more chapters ready to post. :) I’d love to hear your thoughts on this first chapter and thank you for reading! :)

[lovelyirony]

Fic title meme : pulvis et umbra sumus (We Are Dust And Shadows)

On every single document, including the ones that show what actually happened to Howard and Maria Stark, Tony Stark is listed as dead among them. 

He is not. 

But in not calling in the accident on the abandoned road, Tony managed to find someone else to take his place and escaped. 

Tony Stark is dead. A whole family funeral and everything. Obadiah pretends to cry. Tony is at the funeral with shitty dye in his hair and sunglasses that he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. Ha. 

The funeral is closed casket. All their faces are rumored to be impossible to fix with make-up. 

He makes new documents. Anthony Jarvis, from Boston. Airtight background. Likes puzzles. Scored damn high on the SAT, but not the perfect score. 

(Killed him to answer some of those questions wrong, seriously.) 

Anthony Jarvis goes to MIT and requests a single room. He gets one for one semester, and then the room next to his burns and destroys his as well. So he gets moved to Jim Rhodes’. 

Jim becomes Rhodey, and he is the first friend of Anthony Jarvis, and nicknames him Tony. 

He grins at that. 

There are plenty of times that Tony wants to tell him. The thing about secrets is that they need to be shared. No one really wants a secret, nor do they want to keep it. But he keeps his mouth shut and asks if he wants to go for Thai food. 

“This is the third time this week.” 

“Not my fault it’s good! I’ll pay...” 

“Sign me up.” 

Tony and Rhodey gets Thai food. It’s good. 

Rhodey lets him in on a secret that Tony had actually known about since his room assignment. 

(You remember that guy’s room that caught on fire? Yeah, he swore that his microwave hadn’t been on, and nothing had been plugged in. He was right. But Tony needed an accident.) 

In other circumstances, Rhodey would have ignored the offer that he had. He had had his heart set on Air Force. But there was something about the man who talked to him. 

“It’s a place called Strategic-Homeland-something I can’t remember,” Rhodey says. “Point is, they’re a big deal and kind of shady, but not in the government shady kind of way. The only thing I can find out about them is that they’re an international company who need engineers, pilots, and basically anyone like you and me. I don’t know how I feel about it.” 

Tony nods. 

“You want me in on this?” 

“I mean, you did tell me a couple of weeks ago that you weren’t sure what you wanted to do after graduation.” 

(It was two weeks, three days, and fourteen hours ago. Not like he was counting.) 

“...thanks. I’ll check it out with you.” 

Anthony Jarvis shows up in a nice suit, stupid sunglasses, and impresses the higher-ups by diagnosing a problem with the engine that others had previously marked as “impossible.” 

He’s hired on the spot, same as Rhodey. 

Tony Jarvis gets his own keycard, finds an apartment in New York that’s within at least biking distance, and gets started on inventing some cute little toys for the spies in Research and Development. 

He brings the laser-lipstick to life, poison-drop-earrings, spyglasses that actually work and have HD, and briefcases that use mirroring technology to change color. 

“How did you do this?” Rhodey asks, eyes wide. “I swear this is unreal.” 

“Aw,” Tony says. “You sap. I got some inspiration from some old comic book ads. I think I’m gonna try a ring decoder next, what do you think?” 

“Almost makes me want to go on missions instead of flying them.” 

Tony Jarvis is known for working odd yet long hours. He comes up with results. And he keeps his head down and minds his own business. 

This is all to find out exactly who killed his parents. As much as his and Howard’s relationship was...interesting, he still wanted to know. 

His desire to know the truth leads to somewhere he hadn’t thought was possible: Hydra. 

His hands freeze as he looks at the paper file with thick, black lines all over. The information there was sparse. Howard, Maria, and Anthony Stark all died. It was ruled: 

And there’s nothing there. 

It wasn’t an accident. Sure he knew that, but there was something far more sinister at play. Why wasn’t it an accident? 

- 

He gets Alexander Pierce in his apartment with a man in the corner. His arm gleams in what little light from the lamps outside give off. 

“Why are you searching for the Stark files?” He asks. 

“Why didn’t you just schedule a meeting? I’m available tomorrow at three,” Tony jokes. “Who’s your friend here?” 

“Someone you wouldn’t want to shake hands with,” Pierce answers. “You need to stop looking into this before you find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Accidents will happen,” Pierce says. He gets up from the table, to the counter. Gets out a glass. And makes himself water. He smiles as he looks to the man in the corner. “Do you want any water, Winter Soldier?” 

Winter Soldier remains impassive. 

Tony stills. 

“So, the legends are true. And Hydra is still around.” 

“And if you aren’t careful, you won’t be,” Pierce says. “Don’t bring any of this up. Or this won’t be the last time you see Winter Soldier. I know your moves, Jarvis. Don’t think you can surprise me.” 

They exit the apartment. Tony realizes that Pierce took his glass. 

And he laughs. 

Because this? Not according to plan, but god he’s gonna have fun with it.  

It starts with telling Rhodey who he actually is. 

It does not go as planned. 

“So let me get this straight. I’ve known you for years and you just. Never told me?” Rhodey asks. “Why not?” 

“To be completely fair, no one knows besides a man in Wisconsin, and he’s from Wisconsin,” Tony says. “Also I was drunk. Drunk me is a terrible person who would sell me for a buffalo nickel.” 

“I’m still mad, even if that’s funny,” Rhodey says, trying not to smile. “So. Why tell me now? I’m assuming you need something.” 

“I would like your help,” Tony says. “It is not required but I am toppling a secret organization living in SHIELD and I think if I get your help, I will most likely not get fired by the end of this. Fury likes you, he hates me.” 

“False, he mildly tolerates you. You’ll be fine. Probably. Who else should we get to help?” 

Tony had originally planned for no one. 

But then there was Pepper Potts. 

She had been deemed by the media as “crazy” for accusing Obadiah Stane, longtime-CEO of Stark Industries, as ordering a hit out on the Stark family. 

She had been booted from the company--anticipated--and then Hydra had ordered a hit on her. 

Slightly unexpected. 

Point is, Rhodey brings her into the apartment and tells Tony casually that the grocery store had run out of his usual hummus brand, was the generic okay? 

“That’s like asking if I’m okay with blue pens,” Tony curses. “Also, is that Pepper Potts? Why is she here? Did you run into her at the grocery store?” 

“No, as I was coming back. Did you know that she has a hit out on her? Fun times.” 

“Oh my god, will someone explain to me what’s going on here?!” Pepper seethes. “I was just trying to get my yogurt without anyone taking a picture of me and some random fucking guy had a knife thrown at me and then this guy took me to your house!” 

She then rants for ten minutes about the “questionable design choices going on in this establishment, who honestly thinks shot glasses are a decoration?!” 

“Are you done?” Tony asks. “Because if you want to help with a conspiracy plot, you need to be done.” 

She is. 

Pepper does not get a job with SHIELD. In fact, she mainly just decides to take care of the redecoration in Tony’s apartment. 

“You will be paying me for this.” 

“Why would I do that? You’re using my money to buy everything. You’re living here rent free for now.” 

“Because I’m helping you make better life choices. I also want new shoes.” 

What Pepper does is provide very valuable access to Stark Industries: she knows the ins and outs, what employees do and don’t do, and also is very helpful in telling Tony what he needs to do when he takes the company over. 

“Who said I was going to take it over?” 

“Me,” Pepper says. “Also because I reviewed every single old document and the company was specified to go to next-of-kin. You are. And you’re not dead.” 

“My death certificate is literally framed,” Tony says, pointing to his graduation photo that Rhodey took. He had swapped out his official diploma with it as a joke. No one had seen it. He thought it was hilarious. 

“Yeah, but they can do DNA testing,” Pepper says. “This is like the twenty-first century Anastasia except this time they don’t find you with metal detectors!” 

“I don’t like that you know that story as well as you do,” Rhodey says. “But I’ll leave you a credit card for furniture and groceries. If you get rid of my drinks in the fridge I’m literally never forgiving you.” 

“Noted, and I don’t need forgiveness,” Pepper says. “But they’ll stay there.” 

So begins the plot. 

Pierce doesn’t know three things, which is a lot of things not to know: 

1.) Tony Jarvis is not Tony Jarvis. 

2.) Rhodey actually likes Tony and most of the time him saying that he would “kill Tony in a variety of ways, starting with sporks and moving forward...” is mostly (mostly) a joke. 

3.) Pepper Potts resides in their apartment and is having fun telling Tony she bought new silverware. 

“Why did you buy new silverware! It was fine!” 

“I recognized all of these forks and knives from restaurants. Why did you steal them from restaurants?” 

“They can replace them!” 

“Don’t. Anyways now your spoons match and you don’t have the shitty ones from different places. Also I painted the bathroom.” 

“My landlord is gonna kill me.” 

“I made her cookies and discovered that she likes going to concerts. You’ll be fine.” 

(Pepper is a goddess. You can’t convince them otherwise.) 

Pierce doesn’t know any of this, but he still holds a key piece of blackmail: Tony Jarvis shouldn’t know about Hydra, and he’ll do anything to make sure that he doesn’t lose his job. 

Tony has been recording their conversations for weeks. 

(Pierce thinks he doesn’t design things to get around the available technology. Pathetic.) 

He also has bugged Pierce as well as his house, and figures out that Winter Soldier is going to be on assignment within the DC area in an effort to kill some higher-up on the foodchain that was SHIELD. 

Well. 

Tony has always wanted to go and see the cherry blossoms a little more up close. 

Pepper, of course, doesn’t like that they left his boots on. 

“This couch is new and red,” she says. “Take off his boots!” 

“He is unconscious and probably won’t be in the next fifteen minutes,” Rhodey says. “We are not touching him and possibly shortening that fifteen minutes.” 

Winter Soldier wakes up to three faces staring at him. 

“Mission failed?” he asks, voice robotic. 

“Nope, you just got a new one,” says the man on the right. He is wearing a t-shirt. Winter Soldier thinks that in this situation, a t-shirt is not the best option. 

(Of course, he’s not supposed to think. But they don’t have to know that.” 

“Can you take your shoes off?” says the woman in the middle. “Please. You’re getting germs on the couch.” 

He’s confused. 

“Who am I killing?” 

“No one, yet,” says the man on the left. “Do you know who you are?” 

“Winter Soldier.” 

“No, like a name? I’m assuming you’ve had a name at some point.” 

“Someone has called me Mr. Freeze before.” 

The man on the left snorts. Man on the right taps his arm lightly. 

“Well, um, okay then. How do you feel about the name...aw shit. I can’t think of a name for you when your mask is on. Can you take the mask off?” 

He takes it off. It’s nicer to breathe. 

The man in the t-shirt pauses. 

“Okay. So your name is Bucky Barnes. Do you know that name?” 

Something clicked. But he doesn’t know what. 

“Sounds...familiar.” 

“Cool! So that’s your name now, do me a favor and don’t google it. I’m Tony, this is Rhodey, and this is Pepper. If you don’t take your shoes off, you’re going to be scared of her.” 

Newly-named-Bucky highly doubts that he will be scared of Pepper because she is built like a twig and she is wearing high heels. 

(He is wrong about ten minutes later when she forcibly throws a fork at him.) 

“Why am I here?” he asks. “Should I be checking back in with Handler Pierce?” 

“No,” comes the consensus from everyone else in the room. 

“Technically, he thinks you went rogue and went back to Russia. He’s organizing a team to go get you. We hired an actor to play you. It’s been entertaining. He got some plums. Do you like plums?” 

“Why is that relevant?” 

“It’s vapid and not interesting at all, Tony loves questions like that,” Rhodey says. “Now come on. We need to get you actual shirts. Also some body wash.” 

Bucky Barnes learns how to be a person. He stares at himself in the mirror for an hour and smiles slightly when Pepper calls him “vain” and pushes him aside to grab her hairbrush. 

He then learns that Hydra is trying to overtake SHIELD and they have a slight window with Pierce out. 

This involves two things: 

1.) Tony Stark coming back from the dead. 

2.) SHIELD panicking that they didn’t know this secret and taking another look at the paperwork, in which case Hydra will be found out. 

These are both easier than anticipated. Tony can act like a showman better than anyone, and has been carefully growing a goatee that is eerily reminiscent of his late father’s. Of course he’s had to switch it up. 

The media is going crazy. SHIELD as well. They’re scrambling to find paperwork that proves that it happened, and they find that the “accident” was no accident. That Howard hadn’t been working for the “enemy” at the time. 

The enemy was in the building, and they had blended in seamlessly. 

This all happens on a Wednesday, by the way. Pepper has it marked on the calendar and everything. Rhodey made his coffee. 

Bucky is busy slamming people into drywall and listening for any word from Rhodey, who is also slamming people into drywall. 

“You know, you’d think we’d get something like a suit of armor for this,” Rhodey pants out, slamming another guy out of his way. 

Bucky nods. 

“Best I can offer is a grenade.” 

“Where in the fuck did you get a grenade?!” 

“Supply closet. Second floor. What, you didn’t check?” 

“No sorry must’ve missed it--of course I didn’t fucking check the second floor closet!” Rhodey yells. 

Bucky says he’s stressed. He should calm himself. 

Rhodey chucks a particularly nasty Hydra agent out a window. 

(Bucky thinks Rhodey is probably the coolest person he’ll ever meet.) 

Tony is fashionably late to the take-down of the century. He’s already foiled a lot of plans, and taken a key-card for Project Insight to work. 

He waltzes in and nearly gets hit by a mug. 

“So, how’s the party going?” he yells over to Pepper. Pepper is still in her heels. She looks like a goddess still, as usual. It is a Wednesday, after all. 

“As fine as it can be,” Pepper says. “We’ve met some resistance. With Pierce gone there’s little infrastructure. You got his plane delayed, correct?” 

“Even better. Got it sent to London. Motherfucker is gonna be there for a while,” Tony says. “Also may or may not have said that he was a threat. SHIELD branch there will investigate, find out some questionable things in his file that he will swear up and down were never there.” 

“Good,” Pepper says. She launches a stapler at someone’s head. “Do you think we’ll have time to pick up takeout for dinner?” 

“Depends on whether or not Deputy Director Hill is Hydra.” 

They see Maria Hill pass by in a blur, yelling as she jumps onto a man and sends him crashing down over a railing. 

“Lovely, she isn’t!” Pepper cheers. “By the way, I was thinking about redoing our kitchen.” 

“‘Our’ kitchen?” Tony says, ducking a bullet and drawing out his personal lipstick-laser, firing it with expert precision. “I told you the living situation was temporary.” 

“Oh please, you have an extra room.” 

“Which was an office!” Tony tells her. 

“Like you can’t have your office at Stark Industries,” Pepper says. “I expect to hear how the reveal went over dinner. Also, please hire me back. I don’t wanna be your interior decorator for forever.” 

“Neither do I, you like modern art. Disgusting.” 

And so the fighting resumes. 

It is done by five-thirty-two, with an official surrender from Pierce. 

“Thank god, I already ordered Chinese and they said it’d be here at six,” Rhodey says. 

They all sit on the red couch. 

Shoes on. 

Tony tips four hundred percent. 

-

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” Rhodey asks. 

“I am not moving for six hours,” Bucky answers. “Also maybe getting a library card.” 

“This is the first thing you want out of the icebox? A library card?” Tony asks, laughing. 

Pepper laughs. 

“I have errands to run. You can come with me and we’ll swing by.” 

“What are the errands?” 

“Getting a kitchen mixer and also making sure that my plates match my napkins.” 

“A travesty if it doesn’t happen,” Rhodey deadpans. “Pass the lo mein, Tony. You’re hogging it.” 

“I had to fight on a Wednesday and run,” Tony says. “Today isn’t cardio day.” 

“Literally hate it when you speak,” Rhodey says. “Absolutely abhor your language.” 

They go to bed, although it’s more of laying on the floor. 

Sure, Tony will have to deal with retaking a business that he knows a bit less about and Pepper will have to be trained (again) and also fight against being made CEO (but she won’t fight much). Rhodey will get a new job with SI because it’s not like Tony will let him work at SHIELD (Rhodey tries, Tony will get him fired at some point). Bucky just...he needs to get a bit more than a library card. 

But that’s for tomorrow.