#i think the most recent example of him mentioning it was at their last live talks/Q&A?

[cacoetheswriting]

celebrity skin. (part ten)

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x popstar!fem!reader word count: 4.6k summary: the final resolution, at a funeral, of all places.

content warnings: 18+, minors dni: suggestive & mature themes, adult language, minor character death, topics of grief, alcohol consumption, mentions of blackmail, use of pet names, — if i missed anything in this chapter, pls let me know!

& psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely in the story, only that she’s a little shorter than eddie.

celebrity skin. masterlist

a note from me: hello friends, it’s been a while. apologies for the radio silence and for living this fic unfinished until now. life just happens and surprise, i had a whole ass baby last year (call me mother). postpartum is not easy and it especially has not been kind on my mental health, so i took time to get my pink back while taking care of another human. i appreciate you sticking with me and being patient - this is for you!

“This is all my fault.”

Unsurprisingly, Eddie blames himself. He always does. Even if he isn’t the one to be held liable. Call it insecurity, whatever. Eddie Munson just believed, from a very young age, that he was a walking magnet for all things unlucky.

Certain events occurred for no reason the brunette could explain, other than there being an unknown higher power had it out against him, which he’d often say to Wayne in hopes of some show of sympathy or a lesser reprimand. And even though, for the most part, Wayne agreed with his nephew, there were certain tricky situations for which the young Munson boy only had himself to blame. „Bad decisions lead to bad outcomes”, Wayne would mutter at the dinner table as Eddie sat, a bag of frozen peas pressed to his swollen eye. 

His luck had briefly changed once he accidentally became friends with Chrissy Cunningham.

The preppy blonde offered him kindness — not something he’s been privy to before, especially not from the Hawkins upper class. Chrissy didn’t care about his upbringing, his social status, living conditions, or his style. She stood up for him in front of the rest of Hawkins’ finest on more than one occasion, pure acts of heart that to this day many of the townsfolk believe cost the cheerleader her life.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie exhales, then repeats, “this is all my fucking fault.” Panic detectable in the sound of his voice.

“Stop that,” Marianne insists in a whisper, eyes focused on the rockstar as he paces, hands deep in the pockets of his black tailored trousers. 

He sighs. “If I had never gotten involved—”

“Eddie, I mean it.” Marianne cuts in. “This is most definitely not your fault and none of the people gathered here today believe that it is.” She tries her best to reassure her favourite client. “I know that may be hard for you to believe considering what you told me recently…” 

There’s a pause.

“No one thinks this is your fault, Eddie.”

“She does,” the rockstar says simply, ending the conversation. He then pushes through the double doors that lead inside the church.

The silence inside is agonising. Almost suffocating. Patrons dressed head to toe in all shades of black, staring blankly ahead at the altar. Staring at the open casket which was surrounded by floral arrangements made from dozens of white roses.

Eddie looks ahead, toward the front row, where the family is sitting. Your family. From oldest to youngest, all of your siblings, shoulder to shoulder: Caroline, Valentine, Amelia, and little Jonah in your father’s arms. Your mother is a little removed. She’s at the end of the row and by the way her body is shaking, Eddie can tell she’s crying — understandably so.

There’s a lot to be said about death. Eddie knew that first hand. 

Chrissy’s death, for example, was an event that forever changed the trajectory of his miserable life. The accusations, the mob mentality, all of that was the push the brunette boy needed to finally get out of town and make something of himself. Escape. Although, it could have gone either way. He knew that, he wasn’t a complete idiot. It took a long time for the rockstar to come to terms with what happened that night. And even now, years later, Eddie knew that back in Hawkins, he’d forever be blamed for something he didn’t do.

“None of the people gathered here today believe that it is.” Marianne’s words from just moments ago echo in his ears as he desperately tries to get a grasp on his feelings.

This was the third funeral Eddie has ever attended. Second, if you count the fact that the boy was far too young to remember that of his mother’s and it’s not like Wayne ever shared any details. Actually the first funeral because although Chrissy’s burial was a day the brunette rockstar could never forget, he wasn’t entirely welcome there. That didn’t stop him, of course. He did not make his presence known. Instead, Eddie hid between the trees at the cemetery, watching from afar. 

Seemingly, the entire town was there which made the young Munson boy angry ‘cause these people didn’t care for Chrissy. They were all phonies. Acting like they knew her when in fact, if asked, they wouldn’t even be able to say what her favourite colour was. Eddie knew her. He really knew her. In fact, Chrissy told him so many times. “I think you’re my only true friend, Eddie.” She admitted one afternoon. “You know, it’s quite lonely being the most popular girl in school. With you though, I don’t feel so alone.”

The memory makes his heart hurt. More so because it’s been locked away for years. Hidden in a metaphoric box that the rockstar swore he’d never reopen. Recently though, considering the circumstances, Chrissy has been on his mind a lot more. Her big blue eyes, her bouncy blonde ponytail. Her smile, her laugh. The sound of her voice. Her kind heart. Recently, Eddie’s been thinking about his friend quite often. Thinking about how he wasn’t allowed to say a proper goodbye.

Goodbye…

“What are you doing here?” 

His head snaps up at the question, brown locks bouncing with the sudden movement. He quickly looks around, but no one else currently inside the church seems to be paying attention to him, or to you. And you… You’re staring at him, waiting for an answer. 

“I-I came to pay my respects.” It seems rather obvious, although maybe not.

All you do is nod. 

Eddie notices how you’ve been crying. On instinct, he reaches for your hand. He wants to offer you comfort. Some solace amongst all of this sadness. To his surprise, you don’t pull away. In fact, you allow your fingers to tangle themselves amongst his and when the rockstar squeezes, once, gently, your whole body seems to relax.

“I am truly sorry for your loss.”

You respond with a timid smile. It’s not much, but it’s all you can muster. 

Thursday, October 14. Time? 9:27pm. That’s when you got the call. Your strangely composed father broke the news. An accident. You could hear sirens in the background. He was driving. Someone ran a red light. He was okay. Time seemed to slow as he continued. “Sweetheart, your Nana… Can you pick up your mom and meet us at the hospital?”

The older woman had never looked so frail. Bandaged up. Connected to all sorts of wires and tubes, monitors that beeped so loud you thought your brain was going to explode, machines that were essentially keeping her alive. Your Nana’s eyes were closed when you walked in and for the next three days. You took turns sitting by her side. Talking to her, reading her favourite gossip columns, Val even repainted her nails while Caroline always made sure her hair was brushed and perfect.

News of the accident spread. The hospital room quickly filled with bouquets of flowers and various ‘Get Well Soon’ cards — one of which was signed by Eddie.

Once he heard about what happened, the Corroded Coffin frontman dipped early from his own album release party to fly back to New York as fast as he could. Yes, your grandmother has made it nearly impossible for him to be with you, but at the end of the day, she was still your family and you were undoubtedly hurting. Setting his own feelings aside, he wanted to be there for you. Simple.

If you weren’t at the hospital, you were curled up in bed, crying into Eddie’s chest. 

Then you got the call.

Your Nana was awake.

Doctors later explained her sudden surge in energy as terminal lucidity. In the moment however, no one questioned the miracle that brought her back to you and your family. No one batted an eye. Just happy to see her eyes open and hear the snark in her tone of voice. If only for a few hours, she was back to her old self. 

“I’m going to get some more coffee.” With a gentle squeeze to your Nana’s hand, your mom exits the hospital room leaving you briefly alone with the matriarch of your family.

There’s a split second of silence during which you contemplate telling her how scared you were that she was going to die, but you stop yourself because there’s no need to burden her mind with such horrific thoughts.

Although, your Nana seems to read your mind.

“Please don’t fill your pretty head with worry,” she says reassuringly, “I know I gave you all quite the scare, but it’ll take a lot more than some car crash to take me out.”

“Don’t joke like that.” It comes out rather flat.

“Then smile for me, my darling.”

You abide by her request, lips twirling upwards for your Nana to see. She mirrors your expression and for the next twenty seconds, all is good again in the world. She really wasn’t going anywhere. You didn’t have to be scared anymore.

“Now that we got that out of the way,” she says matter-of-factly, “This little accident I found myself in did force me to rethink my behaviour with regards to a few things.”

You shake your head. “You don’t have to do that here.”

She ignores you. “I do have to, and want to, come clean about something I did.”

With a swift exhale — for added courage — your Nana spills her shame. Once you hear Eddie’s name escape her tired lips, you sort of black out. Only hearing fragments that don’t entirely make sense to you. Something about bias and her distaste towards the metalhead. Chrissy Cunnigham. The blackmail. The breakup. Your breakup. There’s puzzle pieces missing. Yet even without the borders, even through the haze of the moment, you got fragments of an answer to why Eddie ended things that second time. 

The woman you cherished, the woman you had to thank for your entire career, was unfortunately the same woman who came between you and happiness. She made a choice for you. A choice that ended with you bed bound for weeks. Heartbroken. A recluse.

As she squeezes your hand, through tears in your eyes, you ask her if it was worth it. Forcing Eddie to hurt you like that.

Unfortunately, you never get an answer.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The room fills with doctors and nurses faster than you can realise what’s happening. They’re asking you to move out of the way, so you do. You stand at the wall, arms tight against your heaving chest, and you watch, terrified, as the professionals do everything in their power to keep your grandmother alive.

But the beeping doesn’t stop. Not exactly. Instead it slows. Flatlines. 

At some point, your mom had returned to the room. She’s panicked, asking what happened. You don’t know what to say, pushing yourself further into the wall behind you, hoping it would swallow you whole — it doesn’t. 

Chest heaving, you don’t know how to act, what to do. In the blink of an eye, the space of a single breath, your Nana passed away. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. “She was fine”, you find yourself saying, but no one is listening. The nurses unplugging her lifeless body from all of the machines, while the doctor speaks with your mom, calmly explaining what could’ve caused the sudden change in your grandmother's state.

“She was fine,” you repeat, but don’t move from your spot. Instead, you close your eyes to hold back the tears.

The sadness was imminent. The anger however, well, the anger overwhelmed you.

Your Nana, this human you idolised for your entire life, the person who helped you and shaped you into who the world deemed worthy, the woman who always had your back, turned out to be a liar. She was no better than any of the other leeches who had befriended you only to mooch off your success. 

Whatever her reasonings were at the time, she put your happiness aside by threatening your career. Something you’d never thought she’d do. And what was worse, she made a decision for you, then kept it a secret for months on end. 

Her and Eddie.

The rockstar is waiting for you when you get home — like he has been every night since the accident. You find him in the kitchen, cooking. He turns when you walk in and immediately drops the wooden spoon in his hand, wiping his fingers on the denim of his jeans before pulling you into a hug.

Eddie is the epitome of comfort, that much you’re sure of. But you don’t immediately return the embrace because your mind is confused. He lied, in a way. He said he wasn’t the relationship type and that’s the reason he can’t be with you officially. Now you know that’s not entirely true.

The Corroded Coffin frontman senses your apprehension, though before he gets a chance to ask what’s wrong, half formed sentences are spilling from your mouth into the crook of his neck.

“She’s dead.”, “She told me—.”, “The blackmail…” , “Why didn’t you?”, “She died— She died before I-I could get the full story.” “Eddie, what the hell—”

You pull away slowly, then wipe your eyes with the sleeves of your cashmere sweater. Eddie’s hand travels to your cheek ‘cause he doesn’t want to let you go, afraid that if you take even one step away from him, you’ll never find your way back.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he whispers and you nod. “And I’m sorry for all the lies.”

“Eddie—”

“Please,” he interrupts, “I-I promise I will explain everything to you, but right now,” the rockstar pulls you in for another hug, “you should get some sleep.”

You nod against his chest and let him lead you across the apartment, towards your bedroom. Like a knight in shining armour, Eddie helps you into bed, taking off your shoes in the process and placing them gently at the corner of the bed. He covers you up with the soft duvet before closing all of the blinds and making himself comfortable next to you.

Before you know it, your eyes are closing. You let tiredness win.

When you wake up, some fourteen hours or so later, the Corroded Coffin frontman is nowhere to be found. Just a note on your bedside table with the words, I’m sorry. I swear I’ll explain my side of the story in time, but right now, it’s best if you’re with your family. I don’t want to get in the way of your family.

Fuck him.

-

“I am truly sorry for your loss.” Eddie’s words are sincere, you can tell by the slight tremble in his voice. “She may not have been my biggest fan, but I know she loved you.”

“I doubt that.”

He shakes his head. “She loved you, that’s why she did all that she did.”

“You promised you’d explain.”

“I don’t think this is the time—”

“It’s never the right time with you.” You say harshly while looking away, at the crowd of people that knew your Nana at one point during her adventurous life. “Excuse me,” you add without glancing at him again and walk in the direction of your family.

The service is beautiful. 

You fight back tears throughout, knowing that there’s always someone lurking, trying to catch you crying for a picture they can later sell to the tabloids for hundreds of dollars. And you do a good job hiding your emotions because that’s what you were always taught to do in public situations. Taught so by the very woman your family was mourning today. You feel her presence strongly in that moment, as you bite the inside of your cheek. You can hear her voice inside your head, telling you to straighten your back and hold your head high, “Never let them know what you are thinking.”. Instead, you’re trying your best to focus on the eulogies. 

Your father speaks first. With your little brother steadily in his arms, he reads a letter written by your mother, who was too distraught to come up and read it on her own. His pace is slow as he enunciates every single syllable — something he only ever does when he’s angry or sad. When he’s done, he looks at your crying mother and mouths, I’m sorry, I love you, before stepping off the altar and letting your older sister take his place at the stand.

“My grandmother was a remarkable woman.” Caroline clears her throat into the microphone. She’s equally as composed as you, although the smudged mascara in the corner of her eyes gives away tears she shed before the funeral started.

Caroline continues, “She led an amazing life, although not without its challenges. She overcame it all with grit and wit — qualities she tried to pass onto us, her grandchildren.”

She pauses. Almost as if she’s hesitant to keep going.

“I’m sure each and every one of you here today has a story to share on how my grandmother touched your life. She was a friend to all and an enemy to some.” That earned my sister some laughs. “Her priority had always been our family and now that she’s gone, we definitely feel a void. I for one don’t know if I can still be the same person I was when she was here.”

Caroline finishes with a prayer. She then strides towards the front aisle and retakes her seat next to you. She squeezes your hand, sympathy and encouragement, as you take in a deep breath and stand. 

Everything feels in slow motion during the fifty-odd seconds it takes you to stand where your older sister just stood. You retrieve a piece of paper from inside the sleeve of your couture black jacket and lay it flatly in front of you. The words blur in front of your eyes but only for a split second. “Never let them know what you are thinking.”, and so you don’t.

“Our parents give us life. Our grandparents give us a sense of who we are and where we come from,” you begin. “This week, as we said goodbye to my dear Nana, it hit me how incredibly lucky I have been to have her, not only with me, but as an integral part of who I’ve become in my life.”

“Without my Nana, I’d still be singing Dusty Springfield in my bedroom. I wouldn’t know how to play any musical instruments and the poems I’ve written over the years, well, they’d remain just that. As the incredible matriarch, the regal leader in our family, she pushed all of us grandkids to strive for greatness. Without her, we’d be just another family. Faces lost in the sea of New Yorkers. I know I speak for all of my siblings when I say that thanks to our warrior Nana, we learned who we really are and we are able to live our lives without—”

You pause and look up at the crowd, your eyes first landing on the front row, your family, then further, until they meet a certain brown pair. Eddie offers an encouraging smile and even though there are many things running through your mind about what he and your Nana have done, your lips tilt upward to return half the expression.

“We can live our lives freely,” you change the sentence before continuing, “And even though she’s no longer with us physically, I can still feel her presence. She’ll be with me forever.”

As you wrap up your eulogy, the piano begins playing soft notes of You Decorated My Life by Kenny Rogers. Your father stands along with five other men and they take their place by the casket, lifting it carefully then carrying it out of the church.

-

“Your eulogy was really beautiful.”

Eddie’s voice breaks you away from your thoughts.

The rockstar is leaning against the doorframe of your teenage bedroom, where you’ve come to hide from all of the people gathered in your parents house for the wake. There’s a shaded smile present on his face, kindness behind his eyes. You instantly feel warm.

“It’s hard to be angry at someone who’s given you so much.”

“So you’re just angry with me then?” He probes, stepping inside and gently kicking the door shut with his heel.

Shaking your head, you say, “No, I’m not angry with you, Eddie,” then sigh, “I think I’m just disappointed.”

“That’s probably worse,” he admits.

You pat the blanketed spot next to you, inviting him to sit down. He does so without hesitation and when his arm brushes against yours, you instantly lean your head against his shoulder. 

“I just wish you trusted me enough to tell me the truth. Allow me to make my own decision.”

Eddie nods. “I get it. I guess I was just scared you’d think I was making it all up, trying to paint your grandmother as someone she isn’t.” 

For a moment, it’s quiet. The afternoon light seeps in through the half-closed curtains, offering a glow that you’ve only ever witnessed in Eddie’s Hidden Hills home.

“Why did you leave that night? When she died, I woke up and all I had instead of the person I really needed beside me was a sorry excuse for a note.”

He doesn’t immediately answer and that frightens you. A thought crosses your mind that he’s still hiding something — which would be crazy since it was your Nana who seemingly orchestrated everything.

“Yeah, that was an asshole move on my part.” He admits, “I uh, I was scared that when you woke up, you’d be twice as angry about this whole debacle with your grandmother that you wouldn’t let me tell you my side of the story.”

“So, your gut instinct was to run?”

“Always is, sweetheart.”

You scoff. 

“I wanted to give you the space to grieve and understand your own emotions first before I loaded more shit onto you,” Eddie says honestly.

There’s a split second of silence.

“Can you tell me everything now?”

“If that’s what you want.”

You lift your head, tilting it so that your eyes catch his. 

“I want to move on with our lives and that can only happen when I have the full picture.”

Eddie raises a brow. “Our lives?”

“Yes,” you say, taking his ring-clad fingers in yours, “Ours.”

-

“That’s the moment I really knew I can never let her go again,” Eddie says, hand on your thigh.

The interviewer clicks her pen, satisfied with all of the information the two of you have given her over the last few hours. She lets out a content sigh to prove as much before leaning forward slightly, over her crossed legs. 

“I gotta say, you guys are my favourite Hollywood couple.”

“Thank you,” you say with a smile, then glance at Eddie. “We also think quite highly of ourselves.”

“That we most certainly do,” the Corroded Coffin frontman agrees with your sentiment and beams at you affectionately. Your heart soars.

It has been almost one whole year since your Nana passed and you know she’s rolling in her grave ‘cause of how much you’ve accomplished with the rockstar by your side. 

After the funeral, Eddie agreed with Marianne, his label, and most importantly, his bandmates, to stay in New York while you finished filming for Law & Order. He took the occasional trips back to the West Coast for photo and video shoots along with management meetings, but for the most part he was by your side, day and night. He came with you to set, championing you on this new journey from singer to actress.

When filming for your character wrapped, you packed a big suitcase and joined him on tour. You’ve never really gotten to go on a road trip. Whenever you went on tour for your albums, it was from the private plane to the venue to the hotel, repeat, repeat, repeat. Being on a tour bus with Eddie and his friends, in a different American city every other night — all while getting to watch Eddie do what he does best, on that stage, in front of thousands of screaming fans — was somewhat also a dream come true for you. 

During that time, you finally met Eddie's uncle, Wayne. He came to the show in Indianapolis, watching the performance with you from backstage. Afterwards, Wayne spilled about one thousand secrets and stories from Eddie’s childhood. Some heartfelt, some more delinquent. From the time young Eddie broke his arm while trying to save a stray cat from a tree, and the countless times a teenage Eddie would sneak out to sell weed at rich kids parties.

You fell for him harder then, and even more with each day that passed.

Months later, when the Assistance is Futile tour had its final show in Los Angeles, you told Eddie you weren’t going back to New York: “If you’ll find space for me in that big mansion of yours, that is.”. The brown-eyed rockstar smiled wide at your words, then said: “Our mansion, sweetheart.”.

While you brushed up on your acting skills, landing more and more television and movie roles, Eddie got to work on his third album with Corroded Coffin. That’s when he found the notebooks. Lyrics for songs the two of you had written during your summer together, before your grandmother meddled and it all went to shit. He brought them to you, a twinkle in his eyes.

“I know you’re transitioning away from singing, but hear me out…”

That’s how The Popular Kids was born. Corroded Coffin’s third studio album, with one twist. You.

Which brought you both here, to the interview at Eddie’s Hidden Hills home that has, over a short period of time, also become your home.

“Well, it was great to chat with you two today. Get to know you a little more intimately,” the interviewer says, “Your entire relationship has been very secretive up until this point.”

“Well, this business can be quite cut-throat and there’s very little privacy, which we know is what we both signed up for when we first got into the industry,” Eddie begins, he’s unbelievably natural, he’s made for this — being a star, “The little things, well, we just wanted them to be between us.”

The interviewer nods.

“That’s a little lie, no?”

“What do you mean?” You ask as innocently as you possibly can, because even though you’ve shared a lot of stories today, you haven’t given the whole truth. That remains between you, the rockstar, and your Nana (God rest her soul).

She doesn’t push, quite unlike any other journalist that you have ever come across. Instead, she says how a photographer will be over tomorrow for the shoot and reconfirms that you’ll be the cover of the October issue. 

Eddie sees her out and when you’re alone, he asks if you’re happy that you two did this.

“Apprehensive, sure. But yes, happy.”

“Good.” He leans down to plant a kiss on your temple. “I’m happy too and the world deserves to know just how happy you make me,” he adds while trailing kisses along your cheekbones and down your jaw.

You smile. “I don’t think they should know that much.”

“No?” Eddie’s teasing.

“Some things are better kept private,” you murmur into his ear, “Like how you corrupted me at that pool party.”

“And I’ll continue corrupting you for as long as you’ll let me, sweetheart. Getting under your celebrity skin until the end of time. That’s a promise.”

celebrity skin. masterlist

thank you to all that have been following this story from the beginning and to everyone that has come along the way — i appreciate you more than words can say!

& tagging some cool ppl that expressed interest: @eviethetheatrefreak , @thirddeadlysin , @haylaansmi , @nope-thanks , @tlclick73 , @vintagehellfire , @ashlynnkennedy , @avalon-wolf , @sidthedollface2 , @astheni-a , @bebe07011 , @aysheashea , @papillonoirsworld , @vol2eddie , @spideyanakin-interacts , @rogers-sweatbands , @mimsie95 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @ohmeg , @hereforshmut , @eg-dr3amer3 , @rexorangecouny , @morganlolitta , @littlexdeaths , @bl0ssomanddie, @doritodynasty (if your user is crossed out, it means the tag isn’t working. pls check you’ve enabled tagging in your settings)

[fellshish]

I have a question, and my name is Sal.

I grew up watching Coraline as a kid. It was my jam. I loved that movie, and I will forever say Henry Selick deserved more attention for making it.

I like the Dresden Dolls and Evelyn Evelyn (Amanda Palmer projects) I still have the songs stuck in my head. You know where this is going.

I know you said that fans of works should still enjoy the work even if the creator sucks. And I can do that with Kubrick and Aaron Fechter, but that’s because Kubrick is dead, and most of Aaron Fechter’s IP got ripped away from him and is gladly in the hands of the public (despite how much he likes to sue).

Gaiman (and Palmer) are still alive and/or profiting off their stuff. Not to mention, I want to bring attention to the situation and help bring justice to the victims. Yet everytime I post about it or reblog what someone else put into words what I think, I feel like I’m virtue signalling.

How do I handle it and is it bad that I keep thinking of the art that influenced me by them instead of what they did (in a way to soften the blow to how horribly they abused these women)?

(You can respond to this publicly, as I am sure people are thinking the same thing somewhere. I am sorry for dumping all this on you.)

hi sal!

sorry, this got long. your ask was so genuine and i was afraid of getting it wrong. 

i want to start this off by saying i am not the boss of anyone’s fandom experience. everyone gets to decide for themselves how they proceed after learning about the numerous women who have come forward against neil gaiman.

the things you mention are things i’ve struggled with too — last year when i first learned about it, when i listened to the podcasts and recently again reading even more detailed (and horrifying) news reporting.

these are also struggles shared by many fans in many fandoms of creators who were accused and/or controversial and/or convicted. for example many (trans) people i know have grown up loving harry potter, and have had to deal with their favourite writer waging a vendetta against trans lives. some still participate in the hp fandom without supporting her. they can’t help their hyperfixation and still find a lot of good and a lot of friends in the fandom. 

because yes, i do believe that someone can stay in such a fandom as ethically as possible. as in: i try the best that i can to make sure no further financial gains go to the creator. that means i avoid watching official streams, buying official merch, going to official cons, going to plays based on his work etc. i also amplify the women’s voices by spreading the article. 

the thing to keep in mind is: there is a difference and a distance between a creator and a fandom of what they created. a huge wall even. fandom is about community, friendships, creativity, … i am on a playground playing with the characters with my friends. sharing art and fics and gifs etc. and what those characters and stories mean to me are positive things. 

the core is this: if you have to live your life only consuming art by morally pure people (and who determines that?!) then you will have very little left to enjoy. 

and of course i understand the urge to want to help the victims, and the guilt/worry about virtue signaling. i’m going to break those down separately.

i think the idea of ‘helping bring justice to the victims’ is good but it also puts an unreasonable amount of responsibility on your young shoulders. here’s what’s already happened: the women’s voices have been heard, there is now more widespread media covering, he has lost his reputation, hasn’t been on his platforms since last summer, he’s losing (film) projects of his work, … what else consequences are yet to come, legally or otherwise, we’ll have to see. the responsibility for that lies not with you as one single fan but with lawyers etc. and you might find it important to keep vigilant that the story doesn’t get buried (again). in that case reblogging isn’t virtue signalling but useful.

but it’s also unreasonable to expect someone to continually do that for days and days. that’s a quick ticket to depression. ultimately tumblr is, to many, a fandom space. some people use it only for pleasant fandom activities. and what if they do? you can’t know a person’s whole life: maybe they are survivors who are too triggered to participate, maybe they’ve donated to causes that help survivors, maybe they have shared the story on other platforms etc

you asked “is it bad that I keep thinking of the art that influenced me by them instead of what they did”, and i found that the most heartbreaking part of your ask. it isn’t helpful to you or to anyone to keep torturing yourself with guilt. you’re aware of the allegations, and that’s good. but don’t burn yourself out trying to live up to the impossible standard of a morally pure activist that doesn’t exist. please stop being your own thought police. 

i think the fact you struggle so deeply, shows what a beautiful person you are.

now you’re going to be reading a lot of opinions. some very different from mine. am i right in continuing in fandom? i don’t know. this is my first time living life too. but i AM right that you’re a good person.

that said: protect your heart. block freely and curate a fandom space that makes you happy. avoid engaging in endless internet discourse that is bad for your mental health. step away for a while if that is what you need.

these are some intense days but i promise it gets better. the kid who loved coraline can still love coraline, but is just more informed now. 

the main rule of fandom is: does it spark joy? if yes, embrace it, because that’s a wonderful and rare thing to have.

[shitposting-fox]

I'm going to go into detail quickly about the Dream video the best I can below the cut so YOU don't have to watch it. Tried to avoid injecting most my opinions (except for a few times where the editing and phrasing/tone was intentionally done to effect the meaning of the video)

Apologized for using a slur in his tweet

Moved onto Tommy's video

Claims Tommy and Co. Have been spreading disproven lies for over a year and a half

Uses clips from Tubbo's response stream, captioned "Tubbo, Tommy's Best Friend"

First clip: Tubbo reading through Dream's reddit post and saying "I understand why he would be upset about the lies"

Context, when talking about the reddit post: Tubbo discusses how he doesn't agree personally with Harry and Tommy (and other friends) making pedophile jokes, but also emphasizes that it is up to each person to make their own conclusions about the allegations and evidence provided in Dream's video ("The Truth" ~ 40 minutes long addressing the allegations against him)

Second Clip: Tubbo discussing how he does think his friend group needs to stop calling Dream a pedophile online/on their platforms

IMPORTANT NOTE: No one brought back up the pedophile allegations except for Dream during his stream. As far as I'm aware, no one brought up the allegations in regards to the current drama. (I'm unsure when Tommy has last said pedophile jokes around Dream, as I haven't seen any recently. I don't follow him on X/Twt or his streams as much recently. They may have been making jokes recently, but I'm not sure how recent. If someone knows please share in the comments!)

Both in Dream's stream and video when he reacts/uses these clips he skips over all of Tubbo's criticisms, commentary, and takes multiple small clips without their proper context being mentioned. During both streams Tubbo emphasizes how he doesn't agree with Dream and, while he does understand his frustrations with the pedophilic allegations, Tubbo discusses how people hate Dream for more than just that.

Makes fun of Tommy saying his friends are idiots but have big hearts, "I know you're upset because my friends called you a pedo BUT they have kind hearts"

Claims to not know what Tommy is referring to when he says Dream and Co are sexist behind the scenes

Attempts to make a comparison by claiming Tommy is racist, but does not specify this is meant to be a joke

Claims Tommy is making false allegations because he is just mad that Dream made a three hour live stream "showing their bad behavior" and criticizing his friends

Mentions how Tommy recently interviewed SapNap and didn't appear to have an issue at that time

IMPORTANT NOTE: A common point Dream makes throughout this video and his stream is often Tommy being courteous or respectful. It is proper interview etiquette to be respectful and not shown any bias or dislike with the person you are interviewing

IMPORTANT NOTE: This video was released five months ago, coming up on half a year, and was filmed almost seven months ago. It was "I Fixed YouTuber's Mental Health" which featured multiple influencers Tommy was able to talk to during VidCon 2024 (end of June)

Captions the clip with "really doesn't want to be here" as Tommy leaves SapNap, implying he made SapNap uncomfortable

Said George walked away because he didn't want to be in Tommy's video

Claims this means that they are either not bad people OR Tommy doesn't care as long as he can profit

Shows the various 2023 Logan Paul screenshots with Tommyinnit, but then says he will turn on them if it is beneficial to him (clarifies this is in 2024)

Says he only gave Tommy YouTube advice because he could tell Tommy was talented and hardworking

Shows select screenshots where they get along and Tommy is grateful for advice

Shows a clip of Tommy saying "Dream's awesome. For the past 8 months or so we've been having- like- one a week a two hour call and he helps me with shit"

Says Tommy cannot actually believe what he is saying in his heart, points out no direct examples or screenshots were shared

"if my intention wasn't to help you what was my intention?"

Says Tommy's "egotistical sentiment" about the Dream SMP not being as big if he hasn't joined is the same thing he is accusing Dream of saying

Says the Dream SMP was made by everyone (NOTE: Tommy also acknowledged this in his video, and Tubbo has mentioned this on stream too)

Dream says his merch brand is a family business, and shows an unboxing clip of Tommy with the merch (does not specify when this video was taken)

Says Tommy's merchandise branch utilized child labor (does not provide evidence), scammed multiple users and influencers (no specifics again), said they did not get paid and the company went bankrupt

Uses the fact that lots of issues arose from the brand to make Tommy appear unreliable or negligent in his support of various brands

Uses the Coffezilla video as evidence for the brand scandal, which also shows multiple other large-name influencers also unknowingly being partnered/scammed by the brand (Corpse Husband, Anthony Padilla, Karl Jacobs, and Valkyrae are briefly shown in this clip)

Quickly plugs Dream's merch shop

EDIT: Just found out dream edited the clip so have Tommyinnit instead of Mr.Beat, where the original showed Mr. Beast in the lineup

Says Tommy tried to belittle what Dream does and that Tommy implied his content (books, podcast, etc.) are more valuable/important than Dream's ("which I think is just a little... Sad? I'm happy making videos...")

Claims Tommy had an "editor sweatshop" and shows cropped screenshots about editors getting paid (around £50 per video), but does not show either users mentioning who they work for, just titles "this is about his friends with big hearts"

Shows more cropped screenshots without any usernames discussing how some fans occasionally would help edit videos for free

One of said screenshots appears to be in a tone of neither Tommy nor the editors ("yeah I mentioned thinking about doing that. Like getting Tommy stans to do rough cuts for him or smth")

Uses music and phrasing to downplay the massive message Dream sent to Tommy's mom during her divorce, emphasizes it's just one message albeit long (it's around 4 paragraphs long)

Starts to bring context to the message and how it was a response to her replying to upset dream fans (relating to the video Of YouTuber's Were Honest I believe)

Says that Tommy's video had no screenshots or evidence because "it would make him look ridiculous he did"

Mentions how Tommy was 16/17 and Dream was 20/21, and didn't treat Tommy like a toddler

Says he treated Tommy like a friend and colleague and they had occasional disagreements because he treated Tommy like an equal

Downplays the impact of their age difference by saying that Tommy's phrasing makes it sound like one of them is twelve and the other is "an Evil overlord"

Shows another clip of Tommy saying everything on his channel you can thank Dream for (and subsequently Tommy not taking any credit for his success)

Says Tommy doesn't care enough about the slur to make the video, but that he can use it against Dream and go promote his items

Points out that Tommy has left up old videos with Dream and his family, and says that since Tommy "dedicated an entire video to hating on [Dream]" he can go ahead and take down all the videos that Dream is in while Dream does the same for Tommy

"if you have a backbone you wouldn't want to show support to such a no-good person"

Says he's proud of Tommy, and that he doesn't need to "put other people down to lift yourself up"

[pynkhues]

Speaking of Louis, Lestat and masculinity, I think a point that people always ignore is that Louis' masculinity is important to him and he's attached to gender roles/preconceptions far more than Lestat/the way Lestat is not. I think it's communicated in the show pretty well. It's why he feels comfortable in the role of the successful businessman to Lestat's supporting spouse, but not when the power dynamic is flipped, and why Lestat feels comfortable to be the supporting spouse as well. Your recent post reminded me of the "Come to me" lyrics, and I think Lestat placing himself in the feminine role of Mélisande is another example of that. Plus the Marie Antoinette dress (note Louis being kind of uncomfortable with the camp of it all lol).

I totally agree, anon. I think the show's pretty deliberate with the fact that Louis' at his most comfortable in his relationships with both Lestat and Armand when he's acting as the businessman / breadwinner and they're acting as the supportive spouse. I mention it in the post I think you're replying to, but Lestat playing host at The Azaelia and helping to manage the staff - presumably without being paid - very much plays into that sort of dynamic, and it's one Louis seems to be repeating with Armand in Dubai given Armand's helping to effectively administrate the sales of Louis' art investments. It's a form of unpaid domestic labour which in a loving relationship, can be completely fine, but does often come with (perceived or real) connotations of roles and a certain power dynamic.

A huge part of that I think is tied to Louis' sense of masculinity and the role he wants to take in his relationships, but I also think it comes from a genuine place of wanting to be the provider, which has likely been borne out of the role he took with his mother and siblings as a young man. I talk about that more here, but I do think he needs to feel like he can look after those he cares about, and I actually do think it comes from a pure place even though it can be and is often corrupted by the fact that he's capable of real cruelty and vindictiveness when he feels scorned (i.e. he wants to provide for Grace because he loves her, and he buys her that holiday for her honeymoon, and he wants her to have the house to raise her family in, but when she disowns him, he doubles down on that out of spite not because he's letting her go and moving on, but because he's holding her to it. He knows she and Levi could never afford it without him, and he really rubs that in her face at their mother's wake. She'll always be living in his house, and that once meant something pure and good and loving, albeit paternalistic, and now it fundamentally does not).

I didn't really go into it in that last post, but I also think Louis being a voracious reader is something that gets misread a bit sometimes. Like these days, it can feel like being well-read is more common with women, particularly in online spaces, but I absolutely see the connotations on the show of it being partially a performance of class and masculinity. That's not to say I don't think he genuinely loves reading - I really think he does, and I love that about him - but this is the 1910s through 1930s when hypermasculinity and wealth was very much tied to being well-read, and a lot of contemporary authors from William Faulkner to Ernest Hemingway to Joseph Conrad, were both depicting and exploring manhood in ways that were pretty formative for a generation of men.

On top of that, reading was a symbol of class because the only people who had the time or capacity to do it were people who were both educated and had money. Louis sitting on a park bench in a three piece suit reading Charles Darwin of all people is absolutely a show of class and masculinity, and the fact that it dovetails into a conversation about diet, again, is a broadcast of wealth and status. Sure, we're talking about eating people, but if you're looking at it as a metaphor, it's symbolic of Louis having' choices about what he eats when, which is inherently about having the means and status to do so.

Plus I feel it's pretty important context for Louis and Lestat's bickering in 1.05 when Louis' reading Madame Bovary - Lestat calls Louis a snob, and Louis goes in by basically calling Lestat shallow and uncultured, which is a) very funny to me, personally, I love it when they're mean to each other, haha, but also b) I think very much evident of Louis' feelings of masculinity, particularly given it happens directly after he cites Claudia calling him the unhappy housewife. Again, Louis' rejecting that role - the house is a mess (so they've either fired their staff, or they've quit), Louis' not going to do it and neither is Lestat, and Louis' sprawled on the couch reading from his husband's library and dragging him for being too frivolous to read them.

Again, I think Louis genuinely loves reading, but I also do think for him it's fundamentally a part of his identity as a Cultured, Intellectual Man. It's why he doesn't take to the campiness of the Theatres des Vampires, or as you said, get involved in lestat's Mardi Gras performance (I'm always sooo fascinated by the fact that we don't get a reaction shot of Louis to that sequence at all - again! It feels loaded!) I think his sense of masculinity is, well, pretty traditionally masculine, and I think it's pretty vital to his self-image.

[eyecan02]

Analysis: Why Alastor is Randy and Why I'm Not Being Completely Delulu About It

While we may not know how frequently/infrequently Alastor would sleep with someone, one thing we do know is that apparently (according to Viv's former coworker Faustisse) Alastor did not die a virgin.

So if he's not a virgin, that means he occasionally did have sex and that it's been 7 years since he's last been intimate with someone. Let's just say for example that Alastor had a routine of doing it once or twice with a woman every 3 months or so.

That would mean a routine he was used to was suddenly disrupted for 7 years so I think the story is beginning with Alastor in a period of wanting- that rare urge someone like him would get to have sex on his terms.

He was someone's prisoner for 7 years , and continues to be someone's slave even with his leash "loosened". He likely didn't get to talk/interact with a lot of people wherever he was. As he told Charlie in the first episode,"It's been some time since..." and does a little walking gesture with his claws.

Almost as if he's trying to say that he's sort of trying to "find his land legs again" while he reacclimates to his old home and interacting with people once more.

In the first episode, right off the bat we see see Alastor reacting to something sex related. He shadow summoned himself to Angel's side before Angel even mentioned Alastor when he suggested a porn as a commercial.

Alastor's reaction was replying with, "Ha! Never going to happen!" A lot of people assume this means Alastor is sex repulsed, but he's literally only known Angel a week at this point so I feel like it's the way most people would react to someone speaking so boldly to them.

People focus entirely too much on that line and don't pay attention to one very important detail of that scene. The shadow summoning part. It's interesting the way Alastor instantly teleports to Angel's side.

Why? Can he read minds? Does he automatically know when someone is thinking of having sex with him? Could it be maybe that he also has sex on the brain? Obviously not with Angel but just in general.

Another thing I haven't really seen a lot of people talk about is this one line from episode 2. After Sir Pentious returns a piece of Alastor's coat, Alastor says, "Oh, not many have been able to take even this much off of me."

Out of all the ways he could've phrased it, he chose to say it in a way that made the line sound on the verge of sexual. To me, it sounds like an Easter egg about Alastor's sexuality. As if they're trying to say that just because Al doesn't have many knotches on his bed post...it doesn't mean that there aren't any knotches.

In episode 3, we're shown that Alastor has two chairs in front of his fireplace- alluding that he does want company/is expecting a guest in his room at some point. Zestial's comment in this episode is interesting.

"Some had suggested that you'd fallen to...holy arms." The way it could also mean Alastor has FALLEN for someone "holy"/literally part angel because of her dad.

Then there's Zestial's other line, "There too have been rumors of thy involvement with the princess and her recent flight of fancy." Alastor's eyes are dilated at the mention of Charlie.

Alastor only appears in a flashback in episode 4, but I feel like this episode not only alludes/reflects what he's up to, it also serves to demonstrate Val as a direct foil for Alastor. We have to remember that Val only owns Angel half the time so when Angel is not in the studio, Angel gets to rebel and choose his own partners. Unlike Alastor who seemingly did not have freedom for 7 years.

I feel like Alastor is both fascinated and envious of Angel for having a certain degree of freedom so I feel like he tries to take a page out of Angel's book, and simply tries to "live" once in a while. Going back to my comment about believing episode 4 may subtly reflect what's going on whenever Alastor is absent.

I suspect that after an overlord meeting, he tries to go back to "familiar times" like drinking, dancing and occasionally sleeping with someone. I have an inkling that I'm not far off the mark because in episode 5, Alastor appears like he had a late morning/afternoon almost like if maybe he's coming up from a hangover/late night.

Like he just seemed so unaware that Luci was coming over the way he glares at the "Wellcum Daddy" banner like "Why wasn't I informed?" That's how out of it he was.

With Alastor being frustrated in ways more than one, especially due to his lack of freedom, it makes it worse when the most powerful being walks into Alastor's territory and immediately starts hugging Charlie in front of him.

The first time in the series we actually see Alastor touch Charlie (not including the pilot), he touches her shoulder, back and chin almost as if he's trying to "wipe off Luci's touch and scent" to replace it with his own. His claws are on her boob too when he first places his hand on her shouder.

Charlie's reaction to Alastor's hand on her shoulder is telling- it means that Alastor touching her up until that point was not a common everyday occurrence so I'm thinking that Alastor himself did not realize how much he liked Charlie until he started giving her compliments in front of her dad.

It started off as him trying to stake claim over Charlie/piss off Luci but every time he looked at Charlie as he praised her, his eyes were soft and full of sincerity. I think Alastor finally touching her onscreen opened the floodgates of his attraction to Charlie- literally can't stop touching her for the rest of the episode.

Then comes the scene where Alastor defends the hotel/devours the loan sharks, he says, "Oh, how I missed getting to let off steam!" While, yes, he misses the unbridled violence and chaos he used to cause, "letting off steam" does in some cases mean to let off frustration in a sexual way. For a character who is apparently not meant to be overtly sexual, he sure has quite a few innuendos in this first season.

In episode 7, Alastor is acting so comfortable on Charlie's bed. Why? Again, he's supposedly meant to be the least sexual character in the series. And yet he's rolling around on Charlie's bed (where she sleeps with Vaggie) like he owns it.

Notice he's even laying on Vaggie's side (trying to mark his scent to mask Vaggie's) and making "come and get it" poses on her bed. He only gets out of Charlie's bed/starts acting more seriously when she says, "I don't understand how you can enjoy everyone's suffering so much."

"Just because you see a smile, don't think you understand what's going on underneath." Alastor doesn't want Charlie to simply see him as a 2D villain. He actually cares what she thinks about him, and that's why he reveals that his smile is a power move that Charlie should use.

He both cares about her and desires her physically. Constantly grabbing Charlie's shoulders, touching her hair, pressing his face against hers. He's obsessed with her, and physically needs to be near her. That's probably why he didn't further try to take advantage of the situation.

At this point, Charlie was pretty much broken up with Vaggie so Alastor could've taken advantage of her vulnerability and given into his physical desires for her. The problem is as I mentioned, he cares about her and also serves a master so sleeping with Charlie would complicate matters.

If he ever wants to be free to desire or get what he wants in general, he'll need that deal with Charlie. Just the way Alastor looks at his hand after the deal is sealed between them(you can even see he briefly held Charlie's hand tighter for an instant before letting go), you can see how content he is almost as if he's half way to feeling the kind of satisfaction he wants.

The whole "good girl" scene seems to have subtext, especially because of Charlie's reaction to Alastor calling her a good girl and petting her. Why was she so shy all of a sudden? Alastor had just finished extorting a very vague deal from Charlie, and the aftermath is her being shy?

I have this theory that Charlie and Al didn't just make a deal- their minds melded together. This is shown when Charlie explained to Vaggie that angels can be killed, but when did Alastor tell her this? The two of them never once spoke during the entire making of the contract, which means Alastor fed Charlie the information telepathically. But did Charlie hear other kinds of thoughts from Alastor? Anything that would've had her reacting shyly to him only moments later? I'm betting on yes, yes she did.

Later in episode 7, we see Alastor link arms with Charlie and wearing a very serious expression when a male cannibal tries to greet them. Alastor did not so much as bat an eye at the "She's much too young for you" comment and just continues staring evenly at Charlie.

I love the look he gives her when he leans on Charlie's chair and says. "We're here on business of another kind." They look like a Queen with her advisor in this scene.

"She's filled with potential that I could guide." It's not just a physical desire he has for her or any order he's following from his master/manipulation. He wants her to reach her full potential with him at her side.

In episode 8, Alastor says this line. "You lack discipline, control and worst of all...you're sloppy." It's almost as if he's describing himself because these words seem like a foreshadowing for his defeat and also like a hint toward his sexuality- as in he doesn't want to be controlled by any desires he might have.

It's a paradox because while Alastor may not want to be ruled by love or desire, he's fascinated by it. This is noted during the "the last stand before the battle" party scene. "It's been a thrilling ride watching these wayward souls find connection." He doesn't seem to realize it but he's a romantic at heart, enjoying the development between Huskerdust and CherriSnake.

"One could almost get accustomed," he says as he stares directly at Charlie in a dreamy sort of way. This is probably one of the most sincere Alastor scenes we've seen so far.

During Alastor's finale song, he sings, "I'm hungry for freedom like never before." Like never before because he cares for and desires Charlie. This changes the game entirely and gives Alastor a stronger resolve to free himself.

He will still betray her and the Hazbin gang at some point. This is inevitable but love and lust complicate things for sure so it won't be as straightforward as Alastor laughing evilly while twirling his proverbial mustache. We'll be in for quite the ride that's for sure.

I love that that they hardly interacted in the season finale ep, and yet the animators were kind enough to feed us with the hug scene. For someone who hates touch, Alastor didn't seem to mind Charlie hugging him at all. I feel like Charie is his comfort person, and we'll get to see more of Al's obsessive love and lust for Charlie in season 2.

[thesnazzysharky]

Something interesting about Deer Lord and Beef Demon

Something that came to my mind recently that I've been thinking about for a bit is the similarities/opposites between Deer Lord and the 100% Beef Man. Obviously I knew about how the both of them have you get teleported to a whole different dimension entirely before you get their death screen, but I've noticed some other things.

Similarities

When it comes to similarities, they're both demon-like entities with religious connotations who can go through walls, float over pits, teleport you to different dimensions entirely, and can be sealed in the Hellgate. They also both put their victims in a fate worse than death situation; with Deer Lord absorbing victims into his torso where you can see them eternally screaming and the Demon taking away his victims souls entirely. Presumably trapping them in hell or something just as horrible. One last similarity between them is that they both have something to do with children. With Deer Lord referring to the carnivorous deer as his children and the Beef Demon's locale having a play area where children would go to.

When it comes to how they're polar opposites of each other, for starters, their personalities are completely different.

Deer Lord

Deer Lord ingame is portrayed as having a sorta moral code to him. Said to be effective against violent subjects, Deer Lord presumably doesn't harm anyone that have no history of violence or aggression and don't try to harm his deer. Even once he does become aggressive towards you, he doesn't seem overly violent or aggressive about it. One of Deer Lord's motifs is submission. While hunting you down, he wants you to submit and willingly join the other suffering souls within his torso, hence him waiting for you when you're teleported to his dimension and opening up his cloak once you get closer. His chase theme being called "Your Consenting Mind" and one of the images that flashes whenever you're hit by him or his deer simply saying "join" further enforces this.

Then there's his voicelines while he's chasing you (which you can view here). Deer Lord speaks in a very matter of fact, calm, and god-like way (he is referred to as a lord for a reason after all). There's the "Join us" line which again goes back to the submission motif. There's the "Your flesh will sustain my children" and "Your submission is inevitable" lines which go along with the matter of fact part of his personality that I was talking about. The way he says these lines doesn't feel like he's trying to threaten or scare you necessarily, but rather stating a fact. He's fully confident that you WILL submit to him and your flesh will be fed to his children, whether you like it or not. Out of all of them, the most interesting line to me is the "Why do you run, child?". Once again, the way he talks doesn't come across as outright aggressive or threatening. He sounds like he's genuinely questioning why you're choosing to run away from him instead of just accepting your inevitable fate. Once again, he's fully confident that he will catch you.

Beef Demon

Then there's the Beef Demon. Not only does he lack a moral code and just targets whoever he sees, but he's also much more evil all around. While Deer Lord is about submission, the Beef Demon is about force and manipulation. He formed what was basically a cult at the failing fast food restaurant through his burgers containing his special "beef". Causing nightmares to those who eat the beef or even altering their minds entirely. Completely breaking them as a person and making them his slaves. The examples being the customer who kept mindlessly ordering excessive amounts of food and the manager slamming an employee's face on a grill as mentioned in the notes in his locale.

Being a literal demon, he's a very manipulate entity. Ruining the lives of others through a mundane fast food restaurant. You can even say his chase theme reflects this. Being innocently titled "We Have the Beef", which is a parody of the "We Have the Meats" slogan from Arby's, despite arguably being one of the most unnerving and chilling soundtracks in the game. Listening to the soundtrack itself, to me at least, it sounds like it could've once worked as a regular music track or jingle for the restaurant, but instead it's distorted and creepy sounding. Perhaps reflecting how much the demon distorted and twisted the restaurant for his own gain. There's also the fact that unlike Deer Lord, Beef Demon is much more violent and sadistic. When he captures his victims and sends them to his dimension, he later throws out their mangled and twisted corpse days later. Implying that he tortures his victims in some way before getting bored of them. But even then, the sweet release of death isn't something that his victims can be gifted with, because the demon keeps the souls of his victims. As mentioned before, perhaps sending the souls of his victims to hell or giving them a fate just as bad. When it comes to his voicelines (which you can view here) it's much more obvious that he's taunting and trying to scare the player unlike Deer Lord. The "I see you" and "I will catch you" lines being the main examples. There's also the "Turn to me" line which goes along with one of his motifs being about force rather than submission. Then there's the "Stop running away!" line, which is interesting to me in that the demon sounds noticeably frustrated while stating this. Unlike Deer Lord who is simply and calmly asking the player why they're running away, the demon is demanding the player to stop running from them in anger. Similar lines that show different perspectives.

The Beef Demon is interesting in that he's one of the very few characters in the game that you can really call evil. Most of the other specimens, monsters, and dolls have some excuse. He doesn't. The demon most likely knows that what he's doing is wrong, but he doesn't care and doubles down by taking pleasure in what he's doing.

Deer Lord has you come to him in his dimension so you can submit yourself to him. Beef Demon has you come to him in his dimension because he's a sadistic prick who likes playing with prey, with his arms wide open for embrace and all. Deer Lord just wants to be left alone for the most part. Beef Demon actively seeks his prey out. Some other opposites between the two include: Deer Lord staying close to the ground while Beef Demon floats, the axe not affecting the lord while the demon teleports away when hit, Deer Lord speaking normally while the demon speaks in reverse, Deer Lord being trapped just like all the other specimens while the demon can leave and come back whenever he pleases, Deer Lord being lean and standing upright while Beef Demon is more bulky and slouches forward, Deer Lord's locale being more natural while Beef Demon's locale is more industrial and familiar to humans, and Deer Lord is a child of Bayagototh and has his children come help him in the Hellgate chase. Meanwhile Beef Demon is a more separate and independent entity that makes others his pawns. I also brought up how they both have something to do with children, but what makes them different is that Deer Lord genuinely cares about his deer who he views as his children while Beef Demon is a manipulator towards children. Whatever went down in the play area and what happened to those children afterwards can't have possibly been good. One last thing to end this off that further relates these two to each other, not only do their chase themes fit together surprisingly well as seen in this video, but under that same video is a comment stating that apparently their themes have the same key and BPM. I'm not a musician or anything like that. So I don't fully know what that means or if it's true, but if it is, then it's another piece connecting these two to each other.

Conclusion

After thinking about and taking a closer look at all of this, I'm surprised by the results. I was always a big fan of Specimen 11, but I could understand why everyone was in the camp of him feeling like a poor man's Specimen 8 with his death sequence being so similar; as if Kira got kinda lazy while coming up with a cool death sequence and just did what Deer Lord did again because it worked the first time.

Now with everything I said and analyzed, I'm starting to think that these two being similar yet polar opposites at the same was possibly intentional. As for lore implications or what Kira was trying to imply with all of this, I'm not fully sure. You could simply view it as establishing Deer Lord and Beef Demon as rivals of sort, with them being so different in their personalities and ideals. Or you could perhaps say that the Beef Demon is connected to Bayagototh is someway somehow. Maybe one day Kira will make a game that expands on Beef Demon a bit more? Again, not sure, but it's all interesting to think about nonetheless. Needless to say, I'm fucking obsessed with this game and will forever love it to death. For such a seemingly simple game on the surface, there always seem to be something intriguing to find or think about. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading and have a snazzy day!

[aureliusbraniff]

I finished The Hobbit recently and I wanted to talk about it.

Full disclosure If you haven't read the book yourself, watched the movies, or seen any memes I would like to warn you moving forward in this review will contain spoilers

My rating: 3.75 ★★★★

Summary:

A high fantasy story set in an intriguing and expansive world. Throughout the story you mainly follow a character that's from a race called hobbits, and a bunch of dwarves. They get themselves into a number of predicaments throughout their adventure and we (the readers) get to witness their shenanigans, as well as meet a few interesting characters.

In the book your introduced the MC Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf, Thorin, Bombur, Fili, Kili, Bofur, Bifur, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Dori, Nori, and Ori. We also encounter other iconic characters such as Thranduil, Elrond, Beorn, Gollum, and Dain to name a few.

I can appreciate that this was revolutionary for the time and as you read this you can see how it influenced the fantasy genre. The writing style is very much a product of its time, so if your not used to early 20th century writing or if you don't like it, it might be difficult to get into this book. Aside from the style the way the story is written was difficult for me to read not in the sense that the writing was complicated it was just hard to immerse myself that might be a me issue, I'll revisit this if I decid to do a re-read. The characters don't get much development aside from Bilbo the MC. To a certain degree I would forget about some characters were there because they rarely did anything or weren't mentioned as frequently as others. So it was hard initially to get attached to characters even within the main cast. I will say that Fili, Kili, Bombur, and Thorin stood out to me the most out of the 13 dwarves. Gandalf was kind of just there which I find amusing it was quite literally just a side quest for him. Some of the other characters were decent, we don't really get to know much about them, but that makes sense since the book focuses on the Bilbo's perspective so it makes sense that readers would be kept in the dark.

I will also say that the world building is brilliant, it feels flesshed out despite it being a small book it was described in a way that still made it believeable and intriguing after the first 80 pages or so. I think it also helped that the characters kept moving from place to place. So that we got to several different locations in this world and the different species and some of the cultures in this world.

Some critics I have for this book is that the characters get into difficult situations and get out of them pretty conveniently. For instance Bilbo just randomly coming accross the ring was a good idea in a sense but it was too easy that he just passed out and when he woke up randomly came across it. Another example would be whenever they were captured by an antagonist (i.e. the trolls and goblins) and then last minute Gandalf would miraculously show up and save them. I get that he's extremely talented in magic and insanely powerful so much so he's a living MacGuffin but still it just felt to easy, and made me question why he couldn't do anything sooner. Don't get me started on when Smaug got super mad at them and instead of attacking Bilbo and company he decided to fly off and destroy Esgaroth. the only time I felt like the stake we're relatively high was when the humans we're trying to fend of Smaug, but that just made me more mad at the fact that Bilbo and company got off pretty much Scott free. I feel that it kind of lowered the stakes for me and so I didn't really feel concerned for the characters. Although it is a children's book so it can be expected. Another thing that bothered me was the songs, there were numerous songs throughout the book. I usually don't mind songs but they sounded the same, the lyrical style and rhyming scheme was the same despite the fact that some of these songs were coming from several characters from various different races and cultures. It just seems unlikely that they would be that similar. I understand that there can be similarities between different cultures especially when they are close to one another but there would also be some slight differences and there simply isn't. Also the book is written to be a translation. It seems strange that the songs were translated to rhyme in the first place. The likelyness of something rhyming from one language to another is slim, and if the song was translated to rhyme then would that not bastardize the original language of the song? It just really irked me.

However in a less critical note there is also some pretty good symbolism in the book some of the things that I noticed and saw from other reviews was:

Orcrist and Glamdring being symbols of heroism

The ring symbolizes power something that can be useful and handy in many situations but has its drawbacks

Thorin gets dragon sickness which can symbolize greed obviously and how quickly it can consume you and destroy your relationships in addition to yourself.

Also Thorin being buried with the arkenstone is nice not sure if it counts as symbolism. I think it could symbolize the heart of the mountain/people being returned to its rightful place

I would also like to add it might be the movies and memes that has corrupted my perception of Thorin and Bilbo's relationship I think it's kind of romantic that Thorin waited to die until after he saw Bilbo one last time. Also it might just be wishful thinking to support this claim Bilbo and Thorin hadn't known each other that long considering their species' lifespans. Not to mention Thorin's reaction to when he thought he had been betrayed. I know his mind was corrupted because of the dragon sickness and he was being protective of the gold and the mountains because of its significance to him and his people but even still he had a visceral reaction and seemed incredibly hurt. Either he was projecting his pent up emotions about the situation at Bilbo or he felt something for Bilbo those are the only two logical explanations to me. If you have other theories feel free to share.

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

Mention of Antisemitism -

Another thing I want to point out is the antisemitism. I didn't notice initially and I was confused because I had seen people talk about. In my copy around page 192 there was a strange and unnecessary comment about how the dwarves really are, and it did consist of common antisemitic characteristics. Although I wouldn't really associate the dwarves with Jewish people, but I can see why someone might see some similarities I suppose. I don't think it was a deliberate choice on Tolkien's part, I think it was probably an subconscious decision. Unfortunately in the case of a lot of popular books especially with classics this is a pretty common issue. Although from what I've heard he did apologize and was more cautious in LOTR. Which is something, I guess

[stashandtell]

Some Recommendations for Fics That Influenced My Weasley-Ship Rankings

I ranked all my favorite Hermione/X Weasley Sibiling in my most recent post Nobody Asked For This: My Rankings of the Hermione x Weasley Ships with REASONS. Here are some recs to back my completely biased opinons. And now, you can read my fic, Ranking the Weasleys on AO3! - - - - As I sometimes mention on the internet, I keep a WILDLY long and fairly detailed spreadsheet of all the fanfics I've read. I've not been in the fandom long at all but due to life circumstances, I've had too much time on my hands since diving in and have allowed this special interest to wash over me and my whole life like the warm, scented water in the Prefects' giant bathtub. (I hit over 800 works read on my spreadsheet a few days ago and am going to do a numerical analysis and breakdown no one requested, so come back for the data if you're curious.) I've pulled some of my fave fics for my main Hermione x Weasley Sibling pairings -- though I have SO MANY MORE. All of these are mid-length to longfics (~30K-100k+ words, except for one) and are complete, unless noted. Normally I'd copy-and-paste the author's summary but since I'm going to be recommending many here-- I'll give you my 1-3 sentence take on the fic and encourage you to read the author's summary and tags. We're going in descending birth-order by sibling here to keep things tidy: Billmione: What's nuts to me about the Billmione ship is that I don't have a ton of fics I would enthusiastically recommend that explain why I love this pairing so much. I'm not a huge werewolf-ish fan, the age-gap isn't something that inspires my reading that much, and, to be completely honest, sometimes Bill is dry toast in a fic and replaceable with almost any other character. That said, for those of us who love a rare-pair, we feast on the scraps. We love the moments that fuel our headcanons and it's the cumulative experience of developing our own understanding of these characters that drives us into the arms of these fics more than anything. I had a difficult time pulling general recs for this ship, only because so few encapsulate what's I love about Hermione and Bill together (in my mind) in a singular work. I'll keep searching though and plug away at adding my 3 Billmione WIPs to offerings out there, to keep the flag flying. To be perfectly clear: These are GREAT fics I highly recommend. I just don't think of any one of them as the touchstone fic for my love of this pair (imo.) Still Strong by DietCokeofEvil, inspired by I Am Strong by floatsdelicately

Word Count: 38,780 / 19 Chapters

Summary: When Ron leaves Hermione without an explanation a month before their wedding, Bill returns the friendship and care she gave him when he and Fleur separated. They fall in love and build a life together.

My Comments: I read I Am Strong first and I have to say, I loved the two stories together. It's maybe even worth reading I Am Strong before Still Strong because that's how the publishing/inspiration-order goes.

Through the Ages by LadyBlack3

Word Count: 30,301 / 11 Chapters

Summary: Hermione and Bill team up to help research possible causes for a disease spreading through Charlie's dragon reserve and find themselves drawn to each other.

My Comments: This is a fun fic with a plot that keeps things moving. I love them coming together as full-fledged adults with their own lives.

I was torn on recommending Cairo Nights by GillianSteele instead of Through the Ages because they're both excellent examples of this ship, so I'll drop it here as an honorable mention if you're looking for more!

- - - - Charmione: There are SO MANY good Charmiones on my list but I need limits. I would say none of these are exactly emblematic of the typical well-loved Charmione fics, as they don't spend time on the Reserve-- but if you're looking for more recs, feel free to ask me on tumblr or leave a comment and I can happily suggest many more. Last Christmas by KittenShift17

Word Count: 17,079 / One Shot

Summary: Last Christmas, Hermione drunkenly snogged Charlie when she mistook him for Ron and shortly after she broke up with him. This Christmas, she's back at the Burrow and anxious to see Charlie again after thinking about him all year.

My Comments: This was one of the very first Charmione works I read and I recommend it to most my friends looking to get into the ship. As a hefty one-shot, it's a pretty satisfying fic with great Weasley banter and it's on my list of fics to re-read this winter when it's time to get cozy around the holidays. If you like this, check out I Saw Mummy (mind the tag) by Amebb42. Last Christmas is the shortest of all the fics I'm recommending.

Creature Comforts by neilstic

Word Count: 34,588 / 5 Chapters

Summary: Hermione and Charlie are both Hogwarts professors and are into each other. They are also good friends who get to do some fun time travel exploration thanks to the secrets of the castle.

My Comments: This fic is SO well written and snort-out-loud funny. I think of it often and it's not the typical Charmione fic, which is why I wanted to shout it out.

The Eventually Ever After Series by Huffleclaws19 deserves an appreciation post on its own and I HIGHLY recommend it of you're a fan of Charmione and Theomione. It's worth reading it in order. Merry Christmas to Me (the first in the series) is already on my Top-Tier List of all-time faves but the whole series arc is so, so good. Consider this a MOST honorable mention.

- - - - Permione: The Always Series by Simply_Lovely_Reader consists of two stories: Unlikely, which is Hermione's POV and Possibly, which is Percy's.

Word Count: Unlikely - 15,537 / 11 Chapters Possibly - 26,754 / 13 Chapters

Summary: Percy catches Hermione pleasuring herself to thoughts of him in his bed in the Burrow immediately before they start working together at the Ministry. Romance and pining occur.

My Comments: I was overjoyed to find that there was a Percy POV fic for this story but if you only pick one, read Unlikley, which is Hermione's POV.

Reflector by Calebski

Word Count: 39,692 / 7 Chapters

Summary: Hermione seeks Percy's help in finding career her path after the war they're both so changed by. He finds himself seeking her out as well as they develop a friendship and so much more.

My Comments: This author wrote one of my all-time top 3, won't-shut-up-about-my-love-for-it fics, Flourishing Devotion, a Nevmione canon re-write. I really dig their style (Venus Flytrap, another Nevmione is great too.) This Permione delivered.

- - - - Fremione: Fremione recommendations tend to fall in to a few buckets, which often overlap 1) Fred Lives 2) Fred Dies, per the canon 3) Canon rewrites of Fred & Hermione developing feelings during the Hogwarts years There are several WONDERFUL canon re-writes I'll include a few as honorable mentions.

Salve Amor by moonfairy13

Word Count: 31,974 / 20 Chapters

Summary: Hermione saves Fred's life with a bonding spell that can only be cast by someone who carries love for the person they're saving. She doesn't want Fred to know or feel tied to her so of course miscommunications and meddling ensue.

My Comments: The author, moonfairy13, has so many great fics worth checking out. What was great about this one is that the whole fic centers around the Fred Lives turning point.

I Can Love You Like That by LSU Sweetie

Word Count: 31,357 / 12 Chapters

Summary: Fred and Hermione are the last two single people in their friend group at the winter holidays. Hermione wants a relationship and is interested in Fred but has also started to get gifts from a secret admirer.

My Comments: I love a grown-up Fred and Hermione. LSUsweetie has some great works with different pairings and I particularly absolutely freaking loved Festive Fates. This is worth reading because the pairing is undisclosed, so you gotta read it to find out. Paraphrasing the author's summary: Hermione ends up pregnant after a night with a mystery man at New Year's Eve masquerade party right before she has to leave for a year-long work assignment. When she returns the following Christmas, she brings a baby with red hair to the Burrow and hopes to find answers.

Honorable Mentions, Canon Rewrites:

Don't You Know You've Got the Best of Me by raquains

Deal or No Deal by LetticeDouffet

Steel and Soft Smiles by TricksterGhost7 and its companion work, Little Glimpses

Oh So Many Years by fanfictionaries*

The Two Dropouts by tryingsss*

*Denotes a partial canon rewrite (aka ends early or starts later) - - - - Geormione: There were several great Geormione pieces I wanted to recommend but both of my recs relate to navigating Fred's death in very personal ways. That has tended to be the majority of what I've been reading in the Geormione space though there are other dimensions to this ship worth checking out. Like Fremione, there are some great canon-rewrites as well.

I have not started tackling the behemoth that is The Arithmancer by White_Squirrel yet or the rest of the series, though it's queued up as a reward once I finish some very longfics I'm working through... so I know I've read a lower % of the total completed fics on AO3 in the "Hermione Granger/George Weasley" relationship tag than Billmione, Charmione, and Fremione.

To Those Who Wait by Fictionallizzy

Word Count: 56,233 / 9 Chapters

Summary: After Fred's death, Hermione and George spend a forbidden night together which leads to much more than they both expected.

My Comments: In my ridiculous spreadsheet, I give a rating for my personal love of the story and another for the spice level. This is one that has 5/5 on both counts, the smut smuts 💋 and there's some juicy angst in there (my fave.)

In Case You Don't Life Forever by xLoveMx

Word Count: 24,724 / 12 Chapters

Summary: After the battle, Hermione and George are together and apart in their grief. She tries to prepare WWW to reopen and they finds she has to deal with Fred's ghost literally and metaphorically.

My Comments: I've read a few ghost!fred fics but I really loved this one. It was hard to select just one George-Falling-In-Love-While-Grieving fic and the extra dimension Fred's ghost added to this story made it stand out for a recommendation.

- - - - Multi-Weasley Pairings: In fics with multi-Weasley ships, they tend to fall into three buckets: 1) Siblings in competition 2) Love triangle or triad (v-shaped or triangle-shaped) 3) Reverse harems or multiple hookup partners I basically had to read through the majority of all the enticing completed long fics with ALL of the individual siblings I wanted to read paired with Hermione before I started reading multi-Weasley fics. BUT I'm glad I went there because there are some really interesting works that I enjoyed. Here's a fic rec for each bucket: 1) Siblings in Competition: Yours Til The Stars Fall From The Sky by Ronsboggart

Pairings: Fremione, Charmione

Word Count: 64,178 / 7 Chapters

Summary: Hermione and Fred are going to be together until a chance meeting at the World Quidditch Cups finds her and Charlie inexplicably drawn to each other.

My Comments: Mind the tags! This fic definitely has the underage warning on it, which I totally understand isn't everyone's thing. That said, the story of Fred and Hermione falling for each other despite the magnet-pull of Charlie really got me on board with reading Fremione works. Truthfully, I sort of didn't "get" the appeal of Fred until I read this story and for that I'm so grateful. I ended up loving the characterization of Fred and Hermione's love so much in this fic, it's definitely worth it imo.

Honorable Mention: Hot Girl Summer (shorter one-shot) by Anonymous 2) Love Triangle / Triad (V-Shaped): Hic Scunt Dracones by Amebb42 & ShadowAlt

Pairings: Billmione, Charmione

Word Count: 118,498 / 29 Chapters

Summary: On a curse-breaking expedition in a tropical paradise, Charlie, Bill, and Hermione find themselves working a case that puts them face to face with old magic. Both brothers find they care for the same woman and try to encourage her to choose between them.

My Comments: If you read my Ranking the Weasleys post, you know that I don't give a toss about dragons half the time and I REALLY loved the dragon storyline here. I sing the praises of Amebb42 in just a bit but ShadowAlt also has great stories. I enjoyed reading their author's notes in this too.

3) Reverse Harem: Where the Heart Is by Mother_of_Chaos

Pairings: Billmione, Charmione, Fremione, Geormione

Word Count: 40827 / 12 Chapters

Summary: Hermione, who has special abilities and works as an Unspeakable, receives a claiming werewolf bite while helping save a member of the Weasley family and becomes part of their pack.

My Comments: This work was recently completed this past August and was inspired by The Weasley Pack by Mrsmarauders02. Both are worth reading and center around werewolf and pack power. Mind the tags!

Reverse Harem Honorable Mention: Weasley Magic by Amebb42 I included only completed fics here but I have to shoutout the WIP that lives in head rent-free on a regular basis and that's Weasley Magic by Amebb42. This author has so many great works worth reading but this fic completely sold me on the Weasley reverse harem structure and inspired me to give other works a try. Plus, it's not based on a werewolf pack. Yes, the smut is smutty which is great fun, however, all of the characters are so well developed in this massive ensemble work. The Molly bashing-to-redemption is one of my favorite kinds of family angst and there are more relationships beyond Hermione + all of the Weasley siblings that adds delicious complexity to the story. Most importantly, the world mechanics, especially when it come to the Wizengamot, the inherited Weasley family magic itself, and Bill's new status is so, so interesting! I live for this fic . - - - - As For All The Other Hermione x Weasley Family Member Ships: You'll note from my post "Nobody Asked For This: My Rankings of the Hermione x Weasley Ships With REASONS" I don't consider myself well-read in ships with Hermione/Ginny or Hermione/Ron or some of the other family members, so no recommendations at this time. If you have recs, please share! I'd love to know what I'm missing out on or what your fave works are for different pairings.

Don't forget to check out the newest fic, Ranking the Weasleys on AO3!

[nerdieforpedro]

Angel in Disguise

Javier Peña x plus size female reader

This fic and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: a little over 1k

Summary: It's raining and it reminds you of your recent interactions with your best friend Javier Peña.

Warnings: unrequited love, angst, one person you work for should not drive, slight self-esteem issues?, possessiveness

Notes: I haven't posted anything for Javier Peña for a long time. I'm glad I was able to write something. This is one of two for @undercoverpena 's April Showers Challenge.

Main Masterlist/ Javier Peña Masterlist/ Writing Challenges Masterlist

Leaning against your desk, you’re looking out at another rainy day. Thankful that you keep a pair of rain boots in your office and at home. You’re thinking of last month and last week, how you’ve lied to Javier and yourself. It’s for the best though. 

Large drops remain on the window as the sound of the water falling intensifies. Last month you had finally worked up the, well with a shot or two of liquid courage to tell him. Tell Javier Peña that “yeah, we’re friends Javi but I want more from you. Have wanted more from you. I could make you happy, because I know you. We know each other. I can give you something simple, a life together.” One of your favorite dresses, your deep violet one that had the open shoulders you liked. Pretty and not too sexy you felt, just right.

Nothing was right that night. He walked in with a woman you were pretty sure was at least ten years younger than him or maybe she had excellent skincare and always used sunscreen. His hand looked perfect on her waist and so did hers on his. He introduced her to you as his girlfriend of the last six months. You’d heard him mention someone but didn’t think it was the same person. Was she the one that had large mood swings? Javier would never admit it but you know he craves a bit of drama. Something you rarely have any of. Dinner was nice at the bar. She seemed nice. Neither of them stopped smiling nearly the entire night. 

The only silver lining is that you live on a lower floor than Javier so you don’t hear that. You’d go insane if you heard them doing that. You’ve heard the rumors and have gotten the sense (though given your feelings you could be biased. Highly doubtful,) that most of them are true.

That night you went home by yourself, threw off your dress and flopped across the bed. You weren’t sure if the rain came down first or your tears but you do know that you cried yourself to sleep and woke up cold. 

That was last month. Now they’ve been together for seven months.

This week at work you were legitimately busy given that the ambassador you work for has decided to drive drunk and hit a lamppost, damn idiot. Of course he wants to use his diplomatic immunity and the policia would like to make an example out of him. Negotiations are led by you as you represent the embassy. Javier was able to catch you one day, say hello, how are you and ask what you thought of Camilla. Her name is even pretty, like her. She was polite and complimented your dress that night. Nothing bad to say about the woman except she exists or is doing so next to Javi.

You lied right to your friend’s face and told him that you like her, she seemed very sweet, that you three should go out for drinks and that she’s beautiful. The last one wasn’t a lie, she was stunning. The rest of it you’re still unsure how you made it all drop from your mouth so easily. His eyes light up and Javier says something that is as honeyed as it is a stab, “I’m glad you like her. I was worried you might not and then I’d have to wonder if she’s really right for me. You’re the best ángel.” You think you smiled and gave him a hug before going back to dealing with the ambassador issue. It’s a blur. Getting back to your office and stopping yourself from yelling took priority over before getting back on the phone about this drunkard’s problem which is yours.

Finally into the next week, you’ve settled the dispute between the policia and the ambassador. He’s required to pay for the damage and a substantial amount of money to the city of Bogata with a suitable donation to the policía as well. You should have left a few hours ago, but then you might have run into Javier on your way out. You need to steady yourself before seeing him. ‘Just act like I did two months ago. It will be fine.’ That’s what you tell yourself but you know your body will betray you when you see him. You feel the melancholy and longing again. 

The gray skies match your mood. Subdued. Drippy. Unsettled. Foreboding. Closing your eyes, you feel them fall against your cheek again, the tears rolling down. Twisting your body to reach for the tissue box you now keep on your desk, you pat your eyes to see Javier Peña in the middle of your office.

“Hey amiga, qué paso? (friend, what’s up?) You’re crying.” It’s kind that he asks, Javier is always kind. Before you can tell him you’re fine, he’s got an arm around you and kisses your forehead. “What’s wrong?” You won’t tell him why, he’s happy and you know he deserves it. Given the small pieces of how he came to be at the embassy. Broad strokes and rumors are what you know. Javier doesn’t talk about his time in Columbia or pursuing the Cali cartel. When it’s mentioned his face hardens, letting people know to change the subject.

“Just a tough day today, that's all Javi. Thanks.” Your head leans against his chest, breathing in his scent. Keeping your hands around the tissue you’d been dabbing your eyes with. A thought you immediately regret enters your mind:

Could she be an angel in disguise and leave him broken on a rainy day such as this? Maybe Javier would be standing out in the rain? Could you take him against your chest like he’s doing with you now?

No. It wouldn’t be the same. Javier is being a sincere friend to you right now. You would have an ulterior motive. 

A few more tears fall across your cheeks as a gust of wind blows the rain loudly against your window. Even the sky is scolding you:

Leave that man be, you’re the angel in disguise. 

Peeps who want a hug from Javier 😭:

@guelyury @yorksgirl @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @javierpena-inatacvest

@theywhowriteandknowthings @goodwithcheese @maggiemayhemnj @readingiskeepingmegoing @bitchwitch1981

@harriedandharassed @bishtrouille @schnarfer @katw474 @megamindsecretlair

@tinytinymenace @magpiepills @pedroshotwifey

[thevulturesquadron]

Hello! 👋 Could you list some of the best comic books that explore the Rogue/ Magneto relationship?

Hey there!!! 👩‍🚀 Oh gosh! With pleasure! I might be a bit rusty because I haven’t gone through older Marvel comic books in a while and also because I am not up to date with the recent years of X-Men comics BUT there are still a couple of issues that are very dear to me when it comes to Rogue & Magneto, so happy to share:

It all started in the year 1981:

1. Uncanny X-Men #269 ; Uncanny X-Men #274 & Uncanny X-Men #275 (1981, Written by Chris Claremont) [The story is pretty self-contained to these 3 issues and it all starts with Rogue realising that her Ms. Marvel powers are gone and Carol Danvers somehow has her own body now. (a very simplified context of what was going on in that era with the X-Men) I absolutely love Rogue in these issues. She has sass and personality, and she still carries a lot of her energy from the 80s.]

2. X -Men Volume 2 (Issues #1 - #3) - (1991, Chris Claremont) [They meet again after the events in the Savage Land, now on opposite sides.]

3. Magneto Rex: Issues #1- #3 - (1999, Joe Pruett) [This miniseries… is a bit weird and needs some context. It’s at a time where Marvel really wanted to have Magneto return to his evil ways and be a villain for the X-Men (regardless if it made sense or not). Not one of my favourites and generally can live without but it’s a ‘next stop’ in their interactions, so adding it to the list.]

4. Then we have X-Men Legacy! ( 2008, Mike Carey) [This one is a chonker, and to make things worse it is connected with other series running at the same time. It has pieces of Rogue and Magneto through the entire run but all in all, the story sees them reunite under the same team in Utopia (starting with Legacy #231). The full run of Legacy can be difficult to follow up on but if you have the time, it’s really worth it. It’s also the first story in YEARS where Rogue is allowed to shine and do her own thing. If you need a more detailed list of what issues are really worth reading, in what order and what is happening in between them let me know and will be happy to write down a breakdown!]

5. Memorable mentions in the main series: There are quite a few tiny bits about them in the comic books but here’s a list of issues that give more context to how they interact and how they feel about each other:

a. Marvel Fanfare #33 - (1982, Chris Claremont. I love Rogue in this one and it’s such a nice example of what a good and powerful duo they can make. Something that is later explored in Legacy as well. b. Legacy #223 (during Rogue’s journey to control her powers) we have a glimpse of how she remembers and sees Magneto’s presence in her life. c. Magneto #10 (2014, Cullen Bunn) - Similarly, a glimpse into Magneto’s mind on how he remembers Rogue and the impact their connection in the Savage Land had on him. d. Mr & Mrs X #6 (2019) - there is a page between Rogue and Magneto where, in all that mess, at least Magneto’s honest feelings for her and his care for her happiness shine through.

And last but not least, Age of Apocalypse. [This is a completely separate timeline that the comic books liked to visit from time to time. In this universe Rogue and Magneto are pretty much in love and married but… it’s a very tragic universe. Original series started in 1995; then it got revisited in 2005 and again in 2015… I think? The series… is far from perfect, there are so many things that can be described as unhinged (dialogue included) but, there is so much love for these two characters and I absolutely recommend it if you are ok with investing some time into reading it, and most of all if you are ready for a real heart break (again and again).]

Hope this helps! Happy to go into more details or put aside a cleaner list if interested! 💜

There are a couple other mentions in the comics so in case I missed something important I will summon one of the gods of endless knowledge when it comes to X-Men to correct or add to the list: @maedelin

[milogreer]

so uhh this is gonna be scatterbrained. but i'm gonna ramble about milo and (what little info we have on) colm. sorry in advance if it doesn’t make sense i just had to exorcise this demon 🫡

i believe "camping with your alpha boyfriend (2021)" is the earliest mention of colm in an audio. obviously we don't actually know milo's side of things because it's told from david's POV, but we still get the mental image of little thirteen year old milo sitting shotgun in his dad's pickup as they drive to their camping spot. gabe's goofing around in the truck bed to make david and asher laugh, and colm joins in the fun by swerving the truck to mess with gabe. very basic dad thing to do, my dad's done the exact same thing to me and my siblings. it feels familiar and silly, and david frames it as a good memory, so it feels like a good memory. which is important to the point of this post

in "celebrating the new house (2022)," we get a little more colm lore:

My dad was forever blowing any cash he made on fucking bets and gambling and shit, chasing some fucking high. My mom was the only reason we didn’t end up out on the fucking street. He didn’t pull his head out of his ass and get some help until after I’d already moved out. So I never got to have that feeling of being in a house that was actually ours, ya know?

already this is a stark contrast to what we've previously heard of colm (i don't think there's any real mention of him between sept 2021 and dec 2022?) and it kinda makes me look at that old memory in a different light, especially with regards to david saying marie was "nagging [colm's] ear off about being irresponsible and a bad example." like. ykwim? like i'm just thinking about that interaction and wondering how far along those problems were at the time, if they were present at all. was this a normal, fun family outing? or would milo have rather been in the truck bed with david, asher, and gabe?

(and the fact that it wasn't until after milo moved out that colm tried getting any help?? i could make a whole other post speculating about milo struggling with wanting to move out of that environment ASAP vs not wanting to leave marie on her own to deal with colm)

so then i'm re-listening to "your werewolf boyfriend is worried about you" and having a visceral reaction to (re-)learning that colm was also an alcoholic:

But what he chose to do with that frustration and that feeling of powerlessness was not his job’s fault, those were his choices. He’s the one who decided to lose himself in booze and gambling and never being home. Never being there for the people he said he loved but apparently couldn’t stand to be around.

the last sentence especially is just an absolute heartbreaker because milo's, what, thirty now? and he's been dealing with this since he was a kid. clearly he's not on great terms with colm. the only times he ever talks about him is when he's shit talking the department. that is a crazy weight for someone to carry their whole life. i don't have experience with the gambling side but i do have an alcoholic family member who i used to be really close to as a kid but grew up to intensely resent as a result of his actions, so it hits a little close to home to see that reflected in milo

but i digress. umm. i bring up the camping story to highlight the most recent mention of colm from milo and how there were good times and sometimes maybe it hurts to remember them when the person involved devastated you as you grew up because they weren't what you thought they were. and how these things follow you through life and impact how you approach certain things. milo has to live with the fact that the same system that royally fucked colm is potentially going to do the same thing to the love of his life; i never drink more than one shot or half a beer, if i drink at all, and i don't like being around drunk people. even though we don't hear about colm very often, his influence is still there whenever milo has to deal with the department in any way

anyway i guess TLDR; imagine living the majority of your thirty years of life feeling like your dad couldn't stand to be around you because he was too busy drinking himself stupid and gambling away every penny he had as a way to deal with the strain that his job put on him. imagine having to witness your mom struggle constantly to keep you cared for. imagine the few good childhood memories you have with your dad being overshadowed by thinking he didn't love you or your mom enough to change. imagine watching the department run your soulmate into the dirt physically and mentally the same way it did your father and wanting to be supportive of them but also being so worried for them. it's a really interesting situation for him to be in and i enjoy it but it hurts me. the end

[youtube-arc]

Overthinking this specific scene

Okay, the selection of characters here seem random, but I see some logic

As we all know, Mario has two ver clear and obvious favorite persons: Luigi and SMG4. When he needs something, generally the first person he asks for help is Luigi, when Luigi can't help him, he goes to SMG4;

One of the most recent examples of this is the Beans video

Generally the two of them are his primary choice to hang out (look at how many Crew videos we have with Luigi and 4), etc.

Of course, is not crazy to put Meggy as the third one, they are very close, help each other a lot, the multiple sunset scenes, etc. They fight, but they care for each other.

It's pretty expected that Mario visualize his favorite persons cheering for him when he needs motivation, I guess everyone does that, so it would be pretty fitting if it's the case.

...But what Melony and SMG3 are doing there? And what about that propeller beanie?

Rulling out the beanie, I think that this one is just supposed to be a random kid cheering for Mario, maybe himself as a kid, who knows

Now for 3 and Melony, I'm actually surprised to see them here; positively surprised.

Mario and Melony have a lot in common. They both are extremely powerful, but are too silly to actually use those powers to something beyond protecting their friends and having fun; both are technically gods (Mario being the anchor of the world they live in and having the Funny(tm) powers, Melony being basically the Fierce Deity from TLOZ) and have a very whismical and silly way to see the world and everything that happen to them. We have a lot of cute moments of them hanging out and caring for each other...hell, look at the Death Row ep!

So it does make sense for Mario to have her as one of the people he goes when he wants company or needs help, they are similar and probably understand each other well.

Now for 3...it makes more sense than you think.

One thing I don't see a lot of people mentioning is that Mario always liked 3, since smg4 vs smg3 (2011); they are the pinacle of the trope "hero who think they are friends x villain who think they are archnemesis", and its extremely obvious. Examples down below.

Mario never saw true danger in SMG3, and even defended him when SMG4 was judged him too harshly, which is pretty intersting to see.

And of course, Three being the villain that he is...he used this to manipulate Mario during The Youtube Arc.

Well, outside this and the obvious "I was born to protect you" thing (something Mario and 4 also have), they are very compatible: they like to cause chaos, they like to commit crimes (we just had a full episode of them robbing a bank lmao), both are good when it comes to understand others (and Mario is even better than 3), etc;

But even knowing all these things, I didnt expected to see 3 to be placed with Mario's favorite persons; in the last SMG4 Crew from 2023, they gave Mario a picture of his friends and 3 was not in the photo, and he appeared in this video, its not like the editors forgot him or something

My guess is that their relationship improved a lot since last year, which is true; episodes like The Inspection, Trash Friends, Mario Gets Stuck Into a Gif and Mario Reacts to Illegal Nintendo Memes show them to be closer now, and Mario even calls 3 when he needs help

Mario asking for 3's help in "Mario Gets Stuck as a Gif

Mario basically calling 3 a friend in "Mario Reacts to Illegal Memes"; He also did the same with SMG4 once.

This make me super happy; Mario having more people he trust to help him and feel comfortable with is always a good thing <3

But to be fair, I thought Bob would come before both Melony and 3

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E10

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

LETS GO! This one doesnt have the most lore so I am finding little things to cover too. So goosekeeping. In Roman Britain keeping goose domestically was not a big thing. However, by early medieval times, it had very much increased. Merlin stands between these. So keeping geese makes sense. Geese also naturally fatten themselves for winter if left to do so. So are a good choice for a village that doesn't have much to spare in the way of cultivated food.

Now in Feudalism one of the things that was a lord's responsability was basically making sure raiders did not come and do this. Of course, this was done with various degrees of success. Ealdor is a border region and from what we learn. While it is in Cenred's kingdom it does not seem to have a lesser noble of the kingdom ruling over it. It also must be far from Cenred's court. This would leave it far from any protection. Cenred would have more of an interest protecting villages that actually provided him food. (Thus kept up their side of the feudalism deal.) This is later reinforced when it is said they appealed to Cenred (And that their safety is his responsibility) but he cares little for the outlying regions.

Merlin doesn't actually show any lesser nobility that does not live in capital cities. It does however imply they exist. (See Lancelot for more on this) What I find interesting is that Ealdor was not raided before in recent memory. Or at least that it's not mentioned. I wonder if Merlin had anything to do with this.

Funfact "gealdor" in old English means spell or charm or incantation while Ealdor itself means chief, leader, head of family. Prince or king, or Orgin or source. (The last one seems most likely as it is Merlin's place of origin. I cannot find anything about Aecitir Also while Uther is right sending an army over the border would be an act of war. He could VERY likely get away with sending some men as Arthur suggests. ESPECIALLY since there is little likelihood of any of Cenred's soldiers being in the area to know. Its possible if this audience was granted in private he might have risked doing so. And he could have said no and then sent soldiors secretly later BUT this is Uther we are talking about sooooo.

*Screams in not as poor as most commoners Gwen family theory* I feel like I'm kicking a dead horse here but BEING ABLE TO GIVE PEOPLE WEAPONS AND ARMOR IS A BIG DEAL

Morgana: Bring back memories of when I used to beat you

Arthur: That never happened.

So Morgana lost her father at age 10 I have no idea what age Arthur would have been but I'm inclined to believe Morgana and that Arthur made excuses or something. NOW Morgana knows how to fight so I think we need to ask how she was trained? Did Arthur practice with her? Or was she actually trained? From what we see in the show most noblewomen do not know how to fight with swords. So it is not a traditional part of their training in the Merlin world. (The only other noble woman we see using a weapon is Mithian with a crossbow on the hunt and her loving hunting is a rarity by Arthur's reaction.) Medieval woman often used bows on the hunt so this is "normal" There are examples of medieval woman warriors but they are fairly rare. I think Morgana got actual lessons in sword craft from knights and that is was an indulgence of her wanting to learn it by Uther.

OKAY! So they keep chickens too! I'm guessing that they mostly keep them for eggs and perhaps meat very occasionally. Eggs would be a HUGELY valuable source of protein, Along with milk (Merlin mentions there being cows even if we do not see them in this episode) So from what we see, Merlin's diet growing up would have been milk, grains, eggs, and likely some fruits and vegetables as we saw those taken earlier. Perhaps every once in a while some meat.

Confirmation most of the village did not know about Merlin's Secret. I gotta wonder what they thought when Hunith up and sent him seemingly defenseless on the same road we see so many bandits on. Actually Hunith makes her way to Camalot twice on her own though. So Bandaits just ignore peasants if they don't look like they have anything of value on them but if knights and rich people are around attack? I think that's the only explanation for how safe roads in Merlin seem to be for peasants without valuables and how dangerous for LITTERALY everyone else.

Will: why did you Leave?

Merlin: It wasn't what I wanted. My mother was worried. When she found out you knew she was so angry.

Will: I wouldn't have told anyone.

We also know Hunnith said Merlin was at odds with people and Merlin later says you cannot always trust people. (There is also nearly dropping a tree on old man simons with magic.) This entire thing is interesting because Cenred does not hate magic like Uther does. He was fine with Morgouse. So it's quite possible magic is not illegal, or if those rules were in place once Cenred ignored him. Personally I think Hunith was afraid of Cenred taking Merlin and using him as a weapon. Perhaps there would have been a large reward for anyone who discovered a powerful magic user and brought the news to Cenred. This is just a theory of course. She also might have been afraid of someone putting together him being Balinor's son and that information getting out.

Let's take a moment to look at the status of women in the Merlin world. Casual sexism is a thing ("You are such a girl's pedicoat , losing to a girl being bad, Arthur not wanting the woman to fight. ETC) but we sometimes see common women owning land and businesses (Mary's tavern that appears in the Gwaine episode. Alice being a healer.) And the old religion VERY much revered women. However, Female Knights don't seem to be a thing. In fact, As we addressed earlier girls being skilled in battle seems unusual (Though we it in a magic outlaw group once and Isolde. As well as Morgana and Morgouse) and killing them in battle is seen as particularly bad. However, like real medieval woman, they can participate in hunting ETC. They also CAN rule (Gwen, Morgana, Annis) Chastity does not seem as big a deal. Woman can be alone with men without bad comments. And they go where they want without escort. Olaf's behavior toward Vivian is viewed as excessive as well. However, I don't think most noble women have sex before marriage. (Talking about Arthurs's intentions being honorable Uther not trying to bed Katrina until their wedding knight.) While perhaps doing it is not such a big deal (Vivian talking about previous men being chased with knives, Uther urging Arthur to have fun while he can with Sofia) Unsure about commoners. Also I would guess Men inheriting before women is not a thing based on how Morgana is seen as a viable heir to the throne. Also by the size of families we see birth control is readily available. SO A huge improvement on the real middle ages. But casual sexism is still a thing.

[fangirl-life]

Not So Quick Rory McCann movie vent/review

Spoilers below for those who want to watch The Damned. Truly, this will be long, so be warned. more of a vent session

I just got back from the movies and saw The Damned. Ever since I rekindled my celeb crush on Rory McCann, I'd been keeping track of his new projects. One I came across was this movie. He was highly billed in the cast, though it was a small cast. The trailer was also pretty compelling in and of itself and properly set the tone as a horror film.

At the end of the day, I am a horror fan, so I enjoyed the film and think its worth the watch. I got lucky because it has a minor release and only one theater in my city offered to show it.

The venting part is just me being disappointed in how little I'm seeing Rory lately and, more specifically, in this movie. That's it. I suspected that his character would get killed off at least half way through the film because, as mentioned, the cast is small so scenes throughout the trailer featured the entire cast except Rory's. His character Ragnar was only featured in the first 1/3 of the trailer. Trailers are a short summary of a film. I was thinking that, with him being such a noticeable person, there's no way he's not featured in the entire trailer unless he is actually not that important of a character or he died. With the cast being about a dozen people, I wagered that Ragnar died, to which I was correct. What I didn't suspect to happen would be that he'd die within the first 15 min. Usually characters that don't last that long in movies aren't even featured in trailers, but again, since the cast was small and he's more well known than most of the cast, it'd make sense that he was in it.

I went into the movie for more than just Rory, but lets be real, as a fangirl on Tumblr, I predominantly went for him. Luckily, the movie was pretty decent (It was really good, in my opinion except for the ending), so the initial disappointment of knowing he wouldn't be on screen anymore eventually dissipated. I will say that there were silhouettes or ambiguous (but obviously male) figures towards the end of the film that were supposed to be this supernatural creature in Icelandic and Nordic folklore that resembled his stature, so I wonder if he was technically still acting and featured in it until the end, just not as a Ragnar/a speaking role.

Part of this venting session stems from the pattern that, despite his experience and skill level with acting, he seems to get such small roles. More specifically, he seems to often die. Either the death makes the role short or its just a small role. I know he doesn't mind being type cast as an antagonistic character because he finds playing villains as fun, so I won't harp on that, but I just wonder if short roles are all he's able to get from his agents or hiring teams or if he genuinely just wants to stick to smaller stuff.

I haven't seen everything he's been in because its not all accessible to me, but especially recently/post GoT, you'd think his roles would get more prominent. They could still be lowkey/indie stuff as a way to mitigate living with fame, but he's been mostly supporting or lesser.

Playing the villain, Rory only appeared in 3 of 6 episodes of Knuckles with no segway into the new Sonic movie (maybe he died in the show). I read on Tumblr that his role in Jackdaw was about 2 min if I remember correctly. He's done voice work, of which I watched Vox Machina, and personally he didn't sound like himself to me and I didn't initially recognize him (which could be a good thing as an actor). His voice is distinctive, but his character in the show had a generic, domineering tone which Rory can easily do while still sounding like himself. For example, Lance Reddick's antagonistic character in the show did sound like him while still being domineering. He also only had like 1-2 min of total screen time in the new Gladiator movie. I'll take what I can get, bc it was a nice surprise to find that he was in the movie, but I feel like his roles in Slow West and XXX, though still supporting rather than main, featured his longest screen time post GoT. Maybe Jumanji too. That was almost ten years ago.

I don't know. At the end of the day, I'm happy he's getting steady work even if its not how most people would see as an advancement in a career. A career is what you make it. If you are making enough to be financially stable and content (which it seems like he is), then there's no need to accept a promotion and do more work if you don't want to. I also don't want to discount the main roles that he has earned. Though, according to Wikipedia, he has only been in top billed roles for TV 3 times and the last was a decade ago. Maybe he likes the extra time that smaller roles bring; maybe it allows him to sail more. That coupled with playing villains is probably perfect for him. I respect the privacy of his personal life, I just wonder if its by his choice or if production companies or his agents aren't getting him roles he deserves. I also just hate seeing actors in general get typecast when they seem to have the potential for more, especially for physical matters like looking different or ageism.

Getting crumbs as content to consume as a fan are the woes of being apart of a niche fandom like one of a non-mainstream actor. Good thing I love Pedro Pascal bc I get well fed in that fandom everyday. If you made it this far, sorry it was long and thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[helenvader]

I just have to quote this in its entirety. 🤣 Trust Fred Colon to make Havelock feel slightly unsettled, and more than slightly ironic.

At precisely eleven o’clock there was a smart rap on Lord Vetinari’s door. The Patrician gave the woodwork a puzzled frown. At last he said: ‘Come.’

Fred Colon entered with difficulty. Vetinari watched him for a few moments until pity overcame even him.

‘Acting captain, it is not necessary to remain to attention at all times,’ he said kindly. ‘You are allowed to unbend enough for the satisfactory manipulation of a doorknob.’

‘Yes, sah!’

Lord Vetinari raised a hand to his ear protectively. ‘You may be seated.’

‘Yes, sah!’

‘You may be quieter, too.’

‘Yes, sah!’

Lord Vetinari retreated to the protection of his desk. ‘May I commend you on the gleam of your armour, acting captain—’

‘Spit and polish, sah! No substitute for it, sah!’ Sweat was streaming down Colon’s face.

‘Oh, good. Clearly you have been purchasing extra supplies of spit. Now then, let me see …’

Lord Vetinari drew a sheet of paper from one of the small stacks in front of him. ‘Now then, acti—’

‘Sah!’

‘To be sure. I have here another complaint of over-enthusiastic clamping. I’m sure you know to what I refer.’

‘It was causing serious traffic congestion, sah!’

‘Quite so. It is well known for it. But it is, in fact, the opera house.’

‘Sah!’

‘The owner feels that big yellow clamps at each corner detract from what I might call the tone of the building. And, of course, they do prevent him from driving it away.’

‘Sah!’

‘Indeed. I think that this is a case where discretion might be advisable, acting captain!’

‘Got to make an example to the others, sah!’

‘Ah. Yes.’ The Patrician held another piece of paper delicately between thumb and forefinger, as though it was some rare and strange creature. ‘The others being … let me see if I can recall, some things do stick in the mind so … ah, yes … three other buildings, six fountains, three statues and the gibbet in Nonesuch Street. Oh, and my own palace.’

‘I fully understand you’re parked on business, sah!’

Lord Vetinari paused. He found it difficult to talk to Frederick Colon. He dealt on a daily basis with people who treated conversation as a complex game, and with Colon he had to keep on adjusting his mind in case he overshot. ‘Pursuing the business of your recent career with, I have to admit, some considerable and growing fascination, I am moved to ask you why the Watch now appears to have a staff of twenty.’

‘Sah?’

‘You had around sixty a little while ago, I’m sure.’

Colon mopped his face. ‘Cutting out the dead wood, sah! Making the Watch leaner an’ fitter, sah!’

‘I see. The number of internal disciplinary charges you have laid against your men’ – and here the Patrician picked up a much thicker document – ‘seems somewhat excessive. I see no fewer than one hundred and seventy-three offences of eyeballing, earlobing and nostrilling, for example.’

‘Sah!’

‘Nostrilling, acting captain?’

‘Sah!’

‘Oh. And I see, ah yes, one charge of “making his arm fall off in an insubordinate way” laid against Constable Shoe. Commander Vimes has always given me glowing reports about this officer.’

‘’e’s a nasty piece of work, sah! You can’t trust the dead ones!’

‘Nor, it would seem, most of the live ones.’

‘Sah!’ Colon leaned forward, his face twisted in a ghastly grimace of conspiratoriality. ‘Between you and me, sir, Commander Vimes was a good deal too soft on them. He let them get away with too much. No sugar is safe, sah!’

Vetinari’s eyes narrowed, but the telescopes on Planet Colon were far too unsophisticated to detect his mood.

‘I certainly recall him mentioning a couple of officers whose time-keeping, demeanour, and all-round uselessness were a dreadful example to the rest of the men,’ said the Patrician.

‘There’s my point,’ said Colon triumphantly. ‘One bad apple ruins the whole barrel!’

‘I think there’s only a basket now,’ said the Patrician. ‘A punnet, possibly.’

‘Don’t you worry about a thing, your lordship! I’ll turn things around. I’ll soon get them smartened up!’

‘I am sure you have it in you to surprise me even further,’ said Vetinari, leaning back. ‘I shall definitely keep my eye on you as the man to watch. And now, acting captain, do you have anything else to report?’

‘All nice and quiet, sah!’

‘I would that it was,’ said Vetinari. ‘I was just wondering if there was anything going on involving any person in this city called’ – he looked down at another sheet of paper – ‘Sonky?’

Captain Colon almost swallowed his tongue. ‘Minor matter, sah!’ he managed.

‘So, Sonky is alive?’

‘Er … found dead, sah!’

‘Murdered?’

‘Sah!’

‘Dear me. Many people would not consider that a minor matter, acting captain. Sonky, for one.’

‘Well, sah, not everyone agrees with what he does, sah.’

‘Are we by any chance talking about Wallace Sonky? The manufacturer of rubber goods?’

‘Sah!’

‘Boots and gloves seem non-controversial to me, acting captain.’

‘It’s, er, the other stuff, sah!’ Colon coughed nervously. ‘He makes them rubber wallies, sah.’

‘Ah. The preventatives.’

‘Lot of people don’t agree with that sort of thing, sah.’

‘So I understand.’

Colon drew himself up to attention again. ‘Not natural, in my view, sah. Not in favour of unnatural things.’

Vetinari looked perplexed. ‘You mean, you eat your meat raw and sleep in a tree?’

‘Sah?’

‘Oh, nothing, nothing. Someone in Uberwald seems to be taking an interest in him lately. And now he’s dead. I would not dream of telling the Watch their job, of course.’ He watched Colon carefully to see if this had sunk in. ‘I said that it is entirely up to you to choose what to investigate in this bustling city,’ he prompted.

Colon was lost in unfamiliar country without a map. ‘Thank you, sah!’ he barked.

Vetinari sighed. ‘And now, acting captain, I’m sure there’s much that needs your attention.’

‘Sah! I’ve got plans to—’

‘I meant, do not let me detain you.’

‘Oh, that’s all right, sir, I’ve got plenty of time—’

‘Goodbye, Acting Captain Colon.’

Out in the anteroom Fred Colon stood very still for a while, until his heartbeat wound down from a whine to at least a purr.

It had, on the whole, gone quite well. Very well. Amazingly well, really. His lordship had practically taken him into his confidence. He’d called him ‘a man to watch’.

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

So uh...that thing I said about my tma hyperfixation slipping recently? Well, I wasn't lying, but...holy shit, if it didn't come back quicker than I expected! As I'm sure many of you are aware, they recently announced a live performance happening in London surrounding Hill Top Road, and...I am so ridiculously excited for it. Now that I've booked my tickets, I am wholeheartedly back on the listening train and set on finishing it before October 30th next year.

As I have said in current my pinned post, I don't think I'll be continuing to write down all of my thoughts for every episode, both because I don't have the time or energy, and because I want to start using this blog for pleasure more and just post about whatever thing's on my mind. That being said, I finally got back into the podcast with MAG 87 (a bit of a weird new start, I know, but...whatever), and...I definitely have some things to say about it! So uh...yeah, read beneath the cut if you want to hear a bit of that! :)

But first, I'd just like to give some brief thoughts on MAG 85 and 86. Unfortunately it's been quite a while since I last listened to them, and I don't really have much motivation to go back and re-listen, since I'd like to keep things moving forward, so...a lot of my hyper-specific thoughts have evaded me. That being said...I thoroughly enjoyed both of them!

MAG 85...despite being extremely frustrating to form any coherent thoughts about, was an absolutely stellar episode! And I mean...being confusing is kind of the point so I can't complain that much. Like, it is entirely impossible for me to decipher this one, I can't tell if it means fuck all or is the most important thing ever, but...whatever, it was good! It's no secret at this point that I really like all of the stuff surrounding The Spiral (particularly a certain distorted door man...), so this was obviously a great time for me and was stellarly written. I did find quite a bit of intrigue in the post-statement though, namely Georgie....I mean, bless her heart, but holy shit she needs to re-think her dating life, and also what is seemingly the reveal of the name of one of Gertrude's late assistants. ...Eric Delano. At first I didn't think much of this name reveal, I mean, I assumed we'd learn more about him later, but the intial reveal doesn't tell us much. However...for reasons I'll explain later, I recently reffered back to the transcript for MAG 62, and...wouldn't you know it, Mary mentioned an Eric back there, one that both she and Gertrude are familiar with. I have no idea what his connection to the former could be if there really was one at all, but uh...based on the context he's brought up in, I'm guessing that his death had something to do with whichever one of ✨the horrors✨ he was devoted to (likely The Eye if he was indeed an archival assistant, but...then again Gertrude's alliegance to it as The Archivist can still be questioned so I'm not saying anything conclusive for the time being), and the "what's left of him" remark means his death was...probably a bit of a slow build. Anyways...all very interesting.

Now, as for MAG 86...holy fucking shit. As far as I can tell this one if quite infamous among the fandom, and...yeah, I can certainly sympathize! I really don't think I have much more to say about the statement that hasn't already been said, but just...wow. It's another example of a statement that doesn't really seem connected to the overarching plot, (I mean...there are some similarities between the monster in this episode and Maxwell Rayner, but I feel like I'm supposed to read into that more than the two almost certainly being extensions/servants of the same darkness power, plus if we assume that the Rayner body swapping theory is true, and that he only does so when the current one is starting to get really old, and specifically targets children for hosts, then like...why is he possessing an adult? Why was he outside of a body for so long? This is a really long section inside parentheses holy shit.) but it is just...so incredibly memorable and terrifying. The way that throughout the entire episode, it builds up its concept of a monster that is one with the darkness of night itself and only encroaches towards when you aren't conciously hiding from it underneath a blanket, but then at the very last minute completely subverts this idea by revealing that its patterns were just a farce meant to lure Benjamin into a false sense of security...it's genuinely haunting. And of course "The blanket never did anything" is a quote for the ages, like...just wow. (Also the way it left a noticeable stain on him reminded me of Void from Hollow Knight but that's off-topic).

Otherwise though, this episode had a lot of great non-statement content! While I am...still absolutely terrified by the prospect of Melanie working at the institute now, along with her blatant naivete and denial (although granted I'm thankful that she's much more open to investigating what the hell is happening than Season 1 Jon was), I really liked her reading the statement here. Lydia Nicholas does a great job making her read sound different from the statements Melanie gave herself, I mean...she genuinely sounds horrified by the end which like...same girl. I also love how she says "marker" at the beginning and end, it's such a small but charming detail that highlights how she's still used to her old way of looking into and documenting the paranormal really well. Also, somewhat off-topic but...WHY THE HELL DOES ROBIN PATTON SOUND SO MUCH LIKE GEORGIE'S SHITTY DATE?! Like...I was so prepared to learn that Georgie got mauled by a shadow monster upon listening to MAG 87 but...nope! Genuinely...what was up with that? Uh...regardless, we also have Tim who...I found to be VERY interesting in this episode. Firstly...the line "Who am I even sad for?" was just...an absolute gut punch. It's no secret that anything regarding the inherent tragedy of Sasha's character is enough to make me cry, but like...despite my occasional frustrations with him, it's stuff like this that makes me feel like...just, Tim Stoker, they could never make me hate you. But outside of that...something is absolutely up with him.

I just...find it so weird that he seems to almost instantly recognize what happened when Melanie starts talking about the two Sashas, like...how is it that HE seems so understanding of what's going on when she, the only person other than Elias who was able to see through the facade, really isn't? I mean, sure, there have been a few statements about The NotThem before, but only one of them actually had the archival assistants involved in any follow-up, and I mean...Tim is like the office diva who's just here for shits and giggles! ...That's an overexxageration, I'm sure he had his reasons for joining the institute that'll be revealed in the future, I'm just saying he's absolutely the most lax person here, albeit the way in which he's lax has changed over time. But like, why does he, of all people, remember this singular statement that he looked into over a year ago at this point in the timeline? I mean, I guess he did take a bit of an interest in the table when it was delivered to the institute, and was also the one to tell Jon about the delivery, but...Jon himself didn't even clock that the table and The NotThem were inherently connected to one another until after reading Lawrence Moore's statement and hearing about how Adelard Dekker bound the thing, so why should I expect Tim to be any better? Just...what is the deal here? On top of that, I found it really interesting how he just...stopped reading the statement and went on a rant at the beginning. As far as we can tell, statements seem to...draw people into them in a less than normal way, likely explaining why they portray the person who gave it while reading out loud, and why they seem so shocked and breathless when they stop (except for Jon but granted he's been doing this for a while whereas Martin and Melanie are new to this). The only other exceptions to this are Elias, who's method of reading "Alice Tonner's Statement" were...unique to say the least (and is also a practically confirmed to be claimed by The Eye like Jon while the archival assistants might just be touched so...there's also that), and Gertrude, who is...admittedly a bit of a mystery, but if we go with the assumption that as The Archivist she was also claimed by The Eye like Jon and probably all before her, and take some of her, um...fiery machinations into account, then...yeah, I feel confident in saying there was probably a bit of resistance to all of this spooky archive shit on her part.

So then, what's the deal with Tim? I mean, I once proposed the idea that "statement begins" is a sort of paranormal trigger phrase that draws people into the statements as an explanation for why Gertrude, a character who doesn't say that, seems so unfazed while and after reading a statement, but...this episode actually deconfirms that notion, because Melanie doesn't say it and still comes out uneasy. So...Tim not saying "statement begins" probably means very little. I mean...I guess it also felt like Melanie was getting drawn in over time so...maybe the fact that Tim didn't even start the actual story has something to do with it? Well like...my point is, this and the instant understanding of what happened to Sasha is enough to make me feel mighty suspicious of Tim. Like, I don't think he's some evil villain or anything but...I mean to say that he's shifted from "just some guy who got stuck in this whole mess" to "someone who might very well have a much bigger stake in the lore and narrative than I initially thought". And like...I know Season 2 Jon was an insane bastard who was not to be trusted but honestly...I also kind of think it's weird Tim came to the institute despite there being no history in paranormal studies on his record. So...what do I think's going on with him? Well...I think he very well might have some sort of connection to The Stranger. I don't get the sense that he's actually working for it or is in on The Unknowing or something, because even thought deceit and false appearances is kind of The Stranger's thing from what I can garner...Tim seems pretty genuine in his confusion. If not, then "Who am I even sad for?" would have significantly less weight to it. But...I just wonder if maybe he's been touched by it beyond just being decieved by The NotThem, and...maybe that has something to do with his past. It would explain why he recognized what was going on with Sasha after hearing Melanie's account (I am...very tempted to say that he lost someone to The NotThem before, but...I don't know how you'd expand on that given that the thing is currently rotting in an underground ditch. Sure, it's not actually dead and could theoretically bust out at any moment, but...eh...we'll see), and mabe also why he was able to seemingly tear himself away from the statement, since The Eye and The Stranger seem to be VERY naturally opposed, maybe more than they are to any other one of ✨the horrors✨, except for MAYBE the darkness because The Divine Host's insignia is literally a closed eye. Ultimately...these are just two relatively small details and I'm making a lot of assumptions based on them, but...I really feel like something interesting is about to happen with Tim. I mean, I really hope so, I've said before that I badly want to see more about his character get revealed so that I can form a more clear opinion on him, but...I'll just have to wait and see.

And then finally, something that really surprised me...Melanie and Jon meeting up! This was a delighful surprise, not only because I love their interactions with one another, but also because...it's really interesting plot-wise. Firstly, we got some more information on Melanie getting "sort of shot" (it's been months and I still have not stopped thinking about that). Apparently she was shot in the leg...by a ghost. Oh...homegirl is so haunted by one of ✨the horrors✨ and it is not even funny anymore. I don't really have much to say about this reveal, other than that...I'm very intrigued by it and hope she makes another statement of her own soon. Because uh...that sounds important. Anyways, I think the most interesting thing here is the deal made between the two of them. Melanie helping Jon out with gathering additional resources is very intriguing...kind of, I mean, I'm writing this post-MAG 87 so I already have a decent idea of what her doing this for him might do...and given the context I kind of hope she doesn't help him with what he's trying to do because I prefer my archivist raw and not cooked but...we'll get to that. But uh...otherwise, I am EXTREMELY interested by the fact that Jon has...supposedly told Melanie everything. Like...I desperately need to listen to MAG 88 right after I post this just so that I can hopefully see the fallout of that conversation at the institute. Like...will they learn about Sasha, Leitner, Elias, Gertrude, ✨THE FUCKING HORRORS✨?! Just...how do you reveal all of that to the new girl at the institue when meeting up at a café, and better yet, how do you expect her to share all of that information with her new coworkers she barely knows at a place where they are constantly being watched by a guy who probably doesn't want them knowing that?! And like...how the hell do you "start with Sasha?" Like, I have genuinely tried imagining that conversation between Jon and Melanie in my head multiple times (i swear I am a normal person), and...I just cannot make that work. Like Melanie, I'm sorry, but Magnus Institute Lore 101 requires that you start with the worm lady, okay? Just...wow...how is that going to go down? Anyways...those are my main thoughts on MAG 86! ....Yeah, the disparity in stuff to say between this and MAG 85 is kind of laughable. I swear I like it, I just...cannot write anything coherent about it. Regardless...onto the main event!

But before that....just one little thing I recently realized regarding the episode "Hide and Seek" namely its title. Not only does it refer to The NotThem chasing Jon, but...I just realized that The Stranger "hides" and The Eye "seeks", but in this episode, the seeker is a manifestation of The Stranger and the hider is a man claimed by The Eye. ...God damn that is really clever.

So...MAG 87. ...I would say I was surprised that definitely not Elias Bouchard managed to find out where Jon was hiding Gertrude's tapes but...I'm not. Because. Come on. Man...I just realized how unfortunate it is that right after Basira gave him that gold mine of information, he was forced to leave all of that knowledge behind. ...Yikes. Anyways, uh...I guess I should start with the statement here! Let's get the obvious out of the way. Sebastian Skinner you will always be famous. Put this man right next to Joshua Gillespie and Karolina Górka and let them form the most powerful polycule in human history because OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM. King and patron saint to all neurodivergents across the globe, he deserves all the riches he could ever desire. Yeah...despite all of the genuinely unnerving imagery and lore revelations in this episode, I have to say that Sebastian alone makes this one of the funniest episodes in the show by far. The man is LITERALLY asked to unclog human flesh from a sewage pipe in a creepy building in the woods by a very creepy woman who offers to FLENSE him...and he is just completely unfazed by and oblivious to the whole situation. I just...I can't get over that. In fact, he is so unbothered by it that Megan is GENUINELY APPALLED by it, but also so ammused that she calls over a servant of a completely different member of ✨the horrors✨ to LAUGH ABOUT IT, and then calls him back, not even to neccessarily kill him, but just to rub it in his face how actually scary things are. Just...absolute comedy gold, I love it. I will remember this man always, and it is actually kind of heartbreaking that he did not survive in the end if Gertrude's comments are anything to go off of (also yes hi Gertrude I missed you :D).

Outside of that though...yikes was this a freaky one. I mean, really only the second half if I'm being honest, the first part was still hilarious. Just like...so much disturbing imagery. The way he describes "Megan" burying her plastic hands into his skin, how Jude Perry just cruelly laughs as he cries out for help, and then a workshop filled with a bunch more of the sentient mannequins from MAG 83 skinning a bunch of severed heads, it's just...ugh! Same goes for Megan's face slipping away and Jude burning his shoulder right as it seemed like she was going to let him get away, just...yeah, very disturbing statement. Overall I really liked it, good mix of comedy and horror that builds the plot surrounding The Stranger, The Unknowing, and...surprisingly The Lightless Flame up really well. And speaking of which...

The best part of this episode for me is definitely all of the new information it gives us and the way it pushes the plot forward, both in the statement and the comments made by Gertrude and Jon. In general, I feel like Season 3 has done a great job at pushing the plot forward so far, even if it's felt a bit slow for me due to my hiatus. Firstly, I'd like to discuss what we learned about The Unknowing, because...wow. Now, Jon says that he believes The Unknowing is a "ritual" and...yeah, there probably is some truth to that. Now, I do still think that the destruction of The Magnus Institute probably plays into The Unknowing, both for reasons that I've discussed before, none of which have been debunked here as far as I'm concerned, but also because this episode confirms that while The Stranger is definitely the one leading the operation, other members of ✨the horrors✨ have the potential to get involved as well, namely what we now know is called "The Devastation". Amazing name by the way, I especially appreciate its existence because it was getting annoying having to differentiate between "Lightless Flame" as in the power and "Lightless Flame" as in the cult. Now, I know that Gertrude kind of suggests it is possible that Jude Perry (who uh...yeah! Really cool to get a new named freaky person here!) was just here for shits and giggles, and I mean...to an extent she probably was given Sebastian being a guy that exists, but let's assume that she actually is working with agents of The Stranger on The Unknowing. Now, as far as I can discern, there...really doesn't seem to be much that would make The Stranger and The Devastation natural allies when you look at things through a thematic lense. Like, compare this to The Vast, the isolation power and the darkness power, all of whom are allied via Daedalus, and you have clear thematic correlation. The Lukases, Fairchilds and Divine Host are working together because of the loneliness, size and darkness of space. Meanwhile, The Stranger and The Devastation don't have much in common...except for a common enemy. ...Or rather, seperate enemies that are allied with one another. Yeah so...The Stranger hates The Eye and The Devastation hates The Spider, and it does seem like The Eye and The Spider are allied in a number of places. Now, according to Gertrude, The Lightless Flame had...plans of their own that recently "went up in flames" (she actually said that by the way, I never thought I would hear her tell a joke), likely due to the loss of Agnes as we can tell she was definitely important to her given all of her "destiny" talk. Er, on that note, I guess I should mention that it's entirey possible that Jude Perry is the only member of The Lightless Flame allied with The Stranger, since all of the other named ones (Agnes, Diego and Arthur) are....very very dead, while she is implied to still be out there. Regardless, this makes me think that her and/or The Lightless Flame's involvement with The Unknowing could be a sort of...next best option. Like, maybe their plans involved getting rid of The Spider, but since Agnes' death has left them in disarray, their siding with the member of ✨the horrors✨ who seeks to take down The Spider's bestie. And...the best way to do that is probably through wrecking the institute. So uh...yeah, I definitely think that The Unknowing will involve destroying the institute, but...I have reason to suspect there's more too it than just that.

My reason is...well, Gertrude was actively trying to stop it. We know that she and Leitner tried to burn down the institute, or at least the archives, right before her death, so if The Unknowing only sought to do the same thing as her...why would she try to stop it? There has to be something else it seeks to achieve, and we have...at least an inkling of an idea of what that might be now. But um...on the note of Gertrude wanting to stop it, there's that! We now know for certain that Gertrude was not just fighting against The Eye from within the institute, but also The Stranger as well...which makes me think she was probably fighting against all of ✨the horrors✨, if the fact she was against two immortal enemies is anything to go off of. I also think this episode debunks the idea that she was secretly a servant of The Devastation due to her tendency to burn and explode, both because of what I just said but also because she talks about Jude Perry and The Lightless Flame in a way that makes her seem...on a different side from them. But like....that doesn't make her whole character any less bewildering to me! Hell, I think this makes her MORE bewildering! Not only do I not understand how she was able to even attempt doing so much damage to The Eye when she, as The Archivist, was presumably claimed by it, but like...how the hell was she going agaisnt EVEN MORE?! How is she just..able to fight against every side in this war between eldritch abominations, especially when her only known allies were three assistants who all died horribly, and an old librarian who while definitely powerful, is implied to have met her relatively late into her life? Even Michael, a character whose only discernable goals are to cause chaos, look hot while doing it and sit back and watch the world burn is at least aligned with The Spiral (albeit seemingly more by nature than by choice or experience). And like...better yet, WHY?! What motivated her to join The Magnus Institute and start fighting all of these things? My best guess is that she, like Jon, was motivated to join due to prior interest in the paranormal, and only learned that the institute was just as paranormal as everything it's been studying later on. The only discernable difference is that while Jon came in search of knowledge, I think she might have come in search of blood, but like...that's not a lot! Just...god. "Interesting" does not do this character justice. I love this arsonist grandma so dearly but like...I need her secrets now. And the funny thing is, I'm not even done talking about her yet! But...for now, back to The Unknowing.

So there's a few more details regarding it I want to point out. Firstly, it seems almost confirmed that while The Anglerfish and its minions, Breekon and Hope, Jude Perry and at least for a time, The NotThem, are all actively involved in The Unknowing, The Other Circus is the main organizer of the event, which makes sense as it does seem to be The Stranger's equivalent to the groups like The Lightless Flame and The Divine Host. (Mentioning that, I...kind of wonder if The Divine Host is involved here as well? I mean, not only are they seemingly aligned against The Eye, not only do they share some thematic similarities with agents of The Stranger, but...they've also been planning something for a while. There's Natalie Ennis' mention of a plan "three-hundred years in the making", which just so happened to have a part of it enacted...presumably not long before Gertrude's death. ...We'll get to the timeline shenanigans in a second. But uh...they also recently had their plans sold out to Section 31 by...who is most likely Elias, a guy who has expressed his desire to stop The Unkowing, albeit somewhat nonchalantly. Regardless, uh...we know that The Other Circus is in charge of this whole thing, but namely...somewhat by the name of "Orsinov". But...seemingly not Gregor Orsinov, the ringmaster from MAG 44, as Gertrude refers to this Orsinov with a "her" pronoun. Assuming that this is not a continuity error, then this likely means whoever is running The Other Circus is not the same person as Gregor, but rather a relative, spouse or even child. ...Preferabbly not that last one as I do not like the image of someone who is unlikely to be a normal earthling procreating. Alternatively, uh...congrats on the transition I guess? I know that sounds like a joke, but...it is worth noting that considering The Stranger is like...the shapeshifting one, a change in gender is not impossible here. Ultimately I'm fine if they go down that route, I just...don't hope they would frame that change in gender as an inherently scary thing? But...eh, I have faith in Jonny not to do that. Either way, there's some interesting directions they could take this in. Gertrude also mentions that Orsinov has...a world they wish to bring about. ...THAT doesn't sound good at all. I think this is pretty definitive proof that there's more to The Unknowing than I initially thought, and that it has much larger implications than just the destruction of the institute. I also assume this would be where the "ritual" aspect Jon alludes to would come into play, although I don't really know how to interpret that dialogue at the moment. Other than that...well, we know that all of that skin will somehow play into The Unknowing, and that there will also be "dancers" there who are wearing that skin. I assume these dancers are probably the various sentient(?) mannequins that agents of The Stranger have been producing, as "Megan" does seem to be wearing skin herself. This...also might explain what the deal with Sarah Baldwin and Daniel Rawlings is. I've thought since MAG 54 that the original humans who stumbled into Old Fishmarket Close were skinned by The Anglerfish, and that skin was given to monsters who serve it. Now it seems very likely that The Anglerfish's victims are actually "dancers" in their own right, so that's cool! I mean, it's terrifying, but it's cool! Uh...The Unknowing is seemingly fast approaching, which...yeah, definitely makes sense, I would be surprised if it didn't at least attempt to succeed this season honestly. And finally...this isn't from Gertrude's comments, but I didn't know where else to put it, but uh...we know that The Stranger also goes by the name "I Do Not Know You". ...I just thought that was neat.

Now, there's one last aspect of Gertrude's presence in this episode that I would like to discuss, that being...the timeline of her death. Unfortunately, my only real flaw with this episode is that it has quite a few, not plot-collapsing at all, but still pretty frustrating continuity errors that muddle the timeline a bit. ...Or does it? Because upon further thinking, I actually realized, what might seem like an impossible timeline...could actually be a clue. ...Yes, I am fully aware I probably sound a little crazy just by saying that. But first of all...well yeah I am crazy, we've established this before. But secondly, if it does turn out that these are just continuity errors...honestly like...whatever. I would prefer it if they weren't but I won't be super upset if Jonny made some minor mistakes, especially since he otherwise does a remarkably good job at keeping track of a timeline that is often not delivered to us in a chronological order. Now, there is one detail that I really can't rationalize being anything other than a mistake, and that is Jon saying that this tape was recorded a year or so before Gertrude's death. That is just...blatantly not true, as this statement was recorded in April of 2015, and Jon had been The Archivist for a quite a while by that point. Ultimately though, this doesn't really matter, especially since MAG 33 kind of established than any continuity error said by Jon regarding a statement can be explained by him being a little bit dumb on occasion. And by a little bit dumb I mean he smashed the table I'M STILL NOT OVER IT I KNOW YOU HAVE CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ABOUT SPIDERS BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK?! But otherwise...well, it's a bit complicated. This isn't the first time that we've gotten conflicting statements regarding Gertrude's death. In MAG 25, we're told that she died in May 2015 on the same day screams were heard from Hither Green Chapel, but in MAG 40, Elias tells her she died, or...at least went missing, in March. This means that this statement could either take place a month before...or a month after she died, and...I actually think either one could work. Stay with me. Let's start with the easiest assumption, that being that she died in May.

If this is the case...well, there's really not much to say. This statement was recorded a month before she died, end of story. As for Elias, well...he was the man who killed her, and we can say without a shadow of a doubt that he lied in the statement he gave after the Prentiss incident. The only problem is...I don't know why he would lie about the date of her death specifically as that seems kind of disadvantageous, but...I can just chock that up to him being a silly guy who does what he wants. Alternatively, you could assume that Gertrude went MISSING in March, but actually died in May, but...that wouldn't really explain the blood in the archives (although it's entirely possible that detail was another lie), and on top of that, wouldn't explain why Jon had her date of death recorded as being in May when she was only confirmed dead when Martin found her body in the tunnels in July of 2016. So...yeah, it's not perfect, but there are workarounds to this line of thinking. But...what if we take an alternative line of thinking, one that is less likely but a bit more fun? What if we assume that this statement was recorded a month...BEFORE she died?

You see, I've just been thinking...there has to be...SOMETHING more to Gertrude's death, right? Like, sure, it made sense for the whodunnit mystery to be concluded in Season 2, but like...her death is such an important catalyst in the story, and I find it way too hard to believe that it's as simple as "Elias shot her because she was trying to burn down the archives". (Oh uh...and this doesn't really connect to what I about to put forward, but I have to wonder...why did it take Elias so long to kill her? Like, she was working against The Eye at least since the late nineties, and he should've known about this because...well, you know. Unless gaining all-knowing powers from his patron took over 20 years, but like...I find that unlikely. ...Why did he wait?) I just...feel like there's more too it. And uh...you know how I mentioned I went back to the transcript for MAG 62? Yeah...you might see where I'm going with this. I went back there because in this episode, Jon mentions the page of the skin book that Gertrude got from Mary. Now, he very quickly disregards this as being at all connected to The Stranger (while also commenting on how confusing this all is, which....you and me both buddy), and I have to agree with this. While I am implored to raise an eyebrow at how all of the human heads that were being harvested for skin in the workshop here were hung on the same stuff used for Mary's book, we know that the book connects to a seperate member of ✨the horrors✨ called "The End", and while ✨the horrors✨ do collaborate with one another, we've never seen a Leitner that's connected to more than one of them, the same principle applying to artifacts and claimed people. But...I don't think the book being mentioned here has to be a throwaway line. If you recall MAG 62, Mary gave Gertrude a page of her book. Now, the page already had writing on it, seemingly implying that someone's spirit had already been bound to it. But...then I remembered that Mary seemingly bound herself to the book...and that's when I had an idea. For a long time, I've wondered how Mary could've possibly done what she did, but then I realized...is it possible that she removed chunks of her skin before dying, did all the spooky writing and incantations, and THEN overdosed on painkillers, which ultimately resulted in her being bound to the book? Because if that's the case...what if the same happened with Gertrude? Because like...Gertrude is shown to be familiar with the smell of burning skin in MAG 62, so like...what if she had pieces of her skin removed at some point, and then Mary used those pieces to create the page that she would then give her later on? Then, if we assume Elias killed her in March, this resulted in Gertrude being bound to the page as a ghost, therefore explaining how this statement was recorded after her death? This would also explain her mysterious remarks about needing to recover and being unable to stand, because she would be adjusting to a new state of being! (Side note, can I just say that I thought Gertrude sounded like...noticeably more aged here? I don't know if that's just a result of me not having tuned in for a while but if it isn't...great job Sue Sims, you really sold it well :). ) Now...all of that said, how likely is this?

Honestly not very, this is kind of crack. Plus, there are a number of very easy alternate explanations to these mysteries. The remark about burning skin could come from an earlier encounter with The Stranger or The Devestation, and honestly...it is entirely possible that Mary got help from Gerard when being bound to the book, because not only was he suspected of killing her, indicating he might have been at the scene, but all of the statements where he seems to be on bad terms with her take place after her death in 2008, so...yeah. It's very likely that the death in May thing is the case, or that...all of this is just one big jumble of continuity errors, which is honestly fine! But...eh, I like this idea quite a lot. Alternatively, I could argue that she's a ghost similar to the Archivist seen in MAG 53 but...that's pure speculation. Well, whatever the case, I just hope that there's a bit more to Gertrude's death and the circumstances surrounding it then what we've been given so far, because...I think there's a lot of untapped potential there.

Well...to wrap all of this up, I'd like to discuss some of the stuff Jon said. Firstly, he mentioned how weird it is that Gertrude was recording tapes all the way up until she died, along with how strange it is that only a small handful of statements were actually transferred, at least...as far as we're aware. I...honestly have to agree with this, but I think I have a decent enough idea as to what the deal is here, but it's not perfect. For a good while now, I've assumed that Gertrude intentionally kept the statements "disorganized", so that her successor would get all of the information they need as quickly as possible, and I think a similar thing might be going on with the tapes. All of them cover pretty important stuff, MAG 53 giving insight into The Eye and the institute, MAG 62 showing us some pretty important events, MAG 44 and 87 both tie back to The Stranger and The Unknowing, and MAG 77...uh...well look, there's probably no way she could've known that The NotThem would infiltrate the institute, especially all those years ago, but the tape does give us a clue to the existence of a statement from the ever-mysterious Adelard Dekker, and given how that statement has gone missing for unknown reasons...I think it's probably pretty important? Granted this theory isn't perfect, I mean, why would she be recording a statement that gives information regarding The Other Circus when she says in this very episode that she's surprised The Unknowing is something...like...actually worth worrying about in the present? And why would all of these tapes be buried alongside her in the tunnels...unless Elias put them there...which...ok that actually checks out. Anyways, this line of thinking isn't perfect but...I think something along these lines makes sense. The second point of intrigue to me is uh...Jon's plans. Which...oh boy.

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*....

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, HORRORS AND MICHAELS, GIVE IT UP FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF "NEW PLOT POINTS IN THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES THAT ARE REALLY EXCITING FROM A STORY PERSEPCTIVE BUT TERRIFYING WHEN YOU CONSIDER HOW MUCH IT'S GOING TO SUCK FOR ONE OR MORE OF THE CHARACTERS!!!" 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

So...Jon...ever-knowledgable and sane...has decided that it's a great idea to try and track down Jude Perry. You know, that lady who sets people on fire? I just...look, Melanie, if you know what's good for you, which I know yo-...actually nevermind you went to India fully aware that you might get murdered by ghosts, which you almost did, so...no. But if you have gained the ability to know what's good for you, which I hope you do, then you will NOT help the smelly man track down the professional arsonist. Like...dude?! Hello?! Like, I know the situation is dire, I know The Unknowing is a rapidly approaching threat, and I know that after BPM and the flashbacks to your childhood trauma you've accepted that there's really no way out of this mess, but like...damn, this is not a good idea! Not even Season 2 Jon would do this! Don't get me wrong...I think this is super exciting, not only because I have a particular bias towards the stuff involving The Lightless Flame (...mostly Agnes but shhhhhh), but because...this is EXACTLY what I wanted Season 3 to do. Finally getting out there in the world and actively trying to find all of the shit from the statements. It is...extremely dangerous and terrifying, but...also very exciting. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, after all it is entirely possible that Jude Perry has moved far out of Havering, or has even died at this point, but...man, if we could actually HEAR a member of The Lightless Flame speak...I might actually lose my god damn mind. Well...I'll just have to wait and see.

And finally, the ending of this episode. ...Yeah, that's genuinely terrifying! Hearing the calliope music slowly creep in, and then getting Jon's genuinely horrified reaction...it's so unlike what I'm used to so far, it comes at such an unexpected moment...and my jaw was genuinely left wide-open at it. That's uh...that's not good. Jon...I think you have a bit more to worry about than just police now. Oh, and just because I haven't really mentioned it, um...yeah I absolutely adore Georgie! She kind of has a very similar appeal to that of Basira for me, being a really down to earth and real-feeling character in a world filled with people who, while I absolutely adore them, are objectively freaks of nature. And while I do still think I like Basira a tad bit more, if only because I just feel like I know her better, I actually think Georgie is a better example of this trait! She's just a really friendly and supportive friend to Jon who has...unfortunately gotten a bit wrapped up in this mess, and...yeah, what can I say, I find her very endearing and hope to learn more about her and her past with Jon. I will say, I do find it a tad bit frustrating that Jon is pushing her away and refusing to get help from her, especially when he kind of resolved to stop doing that at the beginning of the season, and ESPECIALLY because she is the exact kind of person he needs at the moment, but granted, I get the sense he's doing this more out of care for her than suspiscion or malice, and I mean...yeah, I'd also be hesitant to tell her...all of that. And also...holy shit the statements really ARE an addiction allegory! Jesus Christ...Jon, what the hell is going on with you right now?

Well uh...yeah, that's all I really have to say! I was definitely surprised by how much I managed to write here, and I'm very happy that my tma fixation has seemingly circled back around earlier than I expected! I hope you enjoyed reading this and that this new kind of format worked well, this was certainly much less of an investment of time and energy for me at least, and I had a good time with it! Like I said, I'm not going to be dead set on writing about every detail of every statement anymore, and lengths of posts I do write will probably vary either do to time or how much I even have to say, but...this should be a decent example of the kind of format I'm going for! Anyways, I'm...probably not going to listen to MAG 88 just yet because it's late, so I'll save that for tomorrow morning! Anyways, it's nice to be back on tma, and thank you very much for reading all this! :)