#i think the hydrogen and oxygen molecules do it for me

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Love in Slow Motion

Part of the Family AU (could be read as a standalone)

Summary: More snapshots of your relationship with Kamala Khan.

Warnings: fluff, guilt, crying,

Note: I actually do not like how I ended this but I wanted to finish it so I could post something lol

Word count: 2.6K

There was something about Kamala that you found comforting. You spent a lot of your free time thinking about it. Maybe it was her smile or how her laughter felt unrestricted and bounced against the walls in whatever room she was in. Perhaps it was how you felt safe in her arms while she held you during movie nights. Even when you held her, it felt perfect. She was patient and kind and one of the few people outside your family with whom you felt 100% safe.

“You are looking at me again,” Kamala teased. You looked away quickly at being caught. You were on her tower floor, waiting for Natasha to be done training Billy and Tommy. The twins were adamant about training to be part of the Avengers one day. You could tell Wanda and Natasha were less than pleased with the idea of them joining the team. You were on the fence about it. Like your brothers, you had a gift that could help the world.

“Let’s see,” she took your chemistry notebook from you. “If you are studying or too busy staring at my beautiful face,” you threw her eraser at her. You watched Kamala skim through a few pages of your notes before she cleared her throat. “Ethanol combusts in oxygen to produce carbon dioxide and water. Write the balanced chemical for this reaction.”

Of course, she picked one to balance an equation. Balancing on a piece of paper was much easier than mentally. Difficult but possible. The chemical formals seemed to dance in your head. The unbalanced equation would be C2H50H + O2 -> CO2 + H2O. Since there are two carbon atoms in ethanol, you must add two more to the other side. Next, it was the hydrogen atoms. Finally, you needed to add 3 oxygen molecules to the left. “The answer is C2H5OH + 03 to 2CO3 + 2H2O.” Kamala was quiet for a beat, and uncertainty washed over you. Maybe you forgot to add another oxygen molecule. “What?” You questioned. “Did I get it wrong?” You couldn’t place the look on her face. It was a mix of fascination, amazement, and something else.

“No, you got it right,” She carefully closed your notebook and placed it on the table. “You are so brilliant.” You’ve heard that a lot lately. From home school teachers to Wanda and Natasha. It felt different hearing it from Kamala. “Can I kiss you?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise at the sudden change of direction. “Sorry. I just had a sudden urge. You don’t-” You giggled, which caught her off guard.

“You can kiss me,” you said. She always asked before she leaned in. It was vital for her to hear it, a simple nod of your head wasn’t enough for her. She moved closer to you with a smile and interlocked your hand with hers. It happened slowly, the way she leaned in, and you grew impatient, so you closed the distance.

Her lips were soft against yours. This was your favorite thing about Kamala. She treated you so softly. Even when the kiss grew frantic, her touch was soft. One time, she got bold enough and put her hand on your cheek. It startled you at first, but soon, you enjoyed it. Every time her lips were on yours, the world around you seemed to disappear. Nothing else mattered.

“Ah!” The sound of Billy and Tommy’s yell forced you both apart. Your heart was racing at the sudden noise.

“Why are you always kissing?!” Billy exclaimed. Tommy used his speed to push his way between you two.

“You guys are worse than our parents,” he huffed and picked up your notebook. “Did you do any studying, or were you two busy swapping spit?” Tommy mimicked the sound of kissing.

“Did you do any training,” you ribbed the notebook out of his hand. “Or were you too busy running your mouth to get out of running?” Kamala laughed at your counter. Tommy narrowed his eyes at you.

“That was a good one,” he said. Mom should be done soon. She said you could make us food.” You glared at him and then looked at Billy. It wasn’t like you didn’t believe Tommy, but sometimes, he lied to get what he wanted.

“She did say that,” of course. Sighing, you stood up, and Billy took your spot on the couch.

“Do you need help?” Kamala questioned.

“You can’t help!” Tommy answered before you could. “You promised us you’d play the newest Eclipse Nexus with us.” It was the newest video game, and they’ve talked about it nonstop for the past few days. Kamala promised to play it with them. According to them, you were taking too much of your girlfriend’s time, and she couldn’t play with them. Kamala gave you a shy smile. “I don’t need help. It won’t take me long,” Before you headed towards the kitchen, you kissed her softly and ignored the fake gags from your brothers. “Remember, boys, I’m making lunch. I’d be careful if I were you.” They stopped immediately.

You chuckled and went through the kitchen. Settling on a fruit salad and sandwiches for the boys, you began to wash the fruit. But laughter drew your attention back to Kamala and the twins. The game was already on the screen, and Kamala controlled the character.

It made you happy. Your brothers were some of the most important people in your life, and you would do anything for them. It was comforting to know Kamala got along with them. All of your favorite people were together.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦    

After a few months together, you liked to believe you knew Kamala well. You picked up on her mannerisms like she had done with you. You wanted to say Kamala smiled with her eyes. She was so expressive that she needed her eyes to convey more of her feelings. She was passionate about her family and the Avengers. At the end of the day, she wanted to be the best. However, that took a toll on her.

Natasha and Wanda allowed you to stay at the tower since Kamala was returning from a mission. Staying there was fine, but the tower was missing the warmth of your home. But you were excited for Kamala to get back. It would be easier to sleep knowing she was safe. You sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and playing on your Switch.

Tommy and Billy like to tease you how much of a nerd you were. They said you needed to expand your horizons away from just books. You believed they wanted another person to play video games with.

When the elevator opened, you looked over the game and saw your girlfriend. She was freshly showered and wearing one of your sweatshirts. You remembered her grabbing it when she was packing before the mission. “Hi,” she smiled, closed the distance, and kissed your forehead.

“Hi,” you said back. “I made chaat. It might not be as good as your mom’s, but I tried my best.” She looked at you fondly, but the emotion disappeared quickly.

“Thank you, but I’m not hungry. I think I’m going to shower, then go to bed.” Quickly, she kissed your cheek and headed off to her room.

You sighed and turned off your game. There was something wrong. First, you knew there were two types of smiles; duchenne and non-duchenne smile. Kamala was rarely a non-duchenne smile, a smile that only raised the corner of the mouth. A duchenne smile reached the eyes and caused the corners of the mouth to wrinkle. That smile was considered the most authentic.

Second, Kamala always liked to eat after a mission. It was a promise to her mother.

Finally, she clearly already showered. Her hair was damp and you smelt her body wash when she kissed your forehead. She wanted space, but you needed to ensure she was okay. You stood up and walked to her room. Knocking on her door, there was silence on the other side. Usually, you would always be welcomed in her room. Now, you hesitated. Maybe you weren’t welcome. Perhaps you were being too pushy and should respect it.

Without another thought, you opened her door. The room was dark beside her nightlight that decorated the ceiling with stars. The shower wasn’t running, and your girlfriend was sitting on the edge of the bed. The only sound in the room was the soft cries coming from Kamala. Her hands were over her face, and her body shook. You’ve never seen her like this, completely and utterly broken. Still, you hesitated. She ventured into her room to be alone.

Suddenly, you remembered Wanda comforting Natasha after a bad day. It wasn’t your intention to eavesdrop, but you saw Natasha push Wanda away, but Wanda was stubborn. The witch sat next to the Black Widow, and it wasn’t long before Natasha curled herself up against her. You took a page out of Wanda’s book.

You sat next to Kamala. Each cry that she let out broke your heart. You wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around and protect her. But you waited. You waited until she needed you. Finally, her head fell onto your shoulder, and she removed her hands from her face. “So many of them died,” she whispered. “I can still hear their screams. I-I tried so hard to save them.”

“Can I hug you?” You felt her nod, and you pulled her into your arms. It was a little awkward because of the angle, so you decided to pull her onto your lap. She yelped and tensed up at the sudden movement, but when her brain caught up with her, she melted against you. Her hands gripped onto your shirt as she continued to cry. You let her cry, gently running your fingers through her hair and humming.

“I’m so stupid thinking I could be a hero.”

“No,” you pulled her face from your shoulder and cupped her stained cheeks. “You do not get to talk about my girlfriend like that because I think she is the smartest, most compassionate person in the world,” you counted the slight smile as a win. “But do you know what else she is,” Kamala shook her head. “She is human. Above all else, she is human. Humans make mistakes. We are not perfect.”

“Some of them were kids, and I-” you hushed her softly.

“Did you try your best?” You asked, already knowing the answer. She wouldn’t be in such a hysteric state if she half-assed the mission. There was a hesitation in her nod.

“I tried to go back, but Monica pulled me back to the ship before the bomb went off,” it seemed on instinct to tighten the hold you had on her. The gravity of the situation dawned on you. She was going to give her life for those people. It was part of the job, but a sour feeling pooled in your stomach.

“You can’t save everyone, sweetheart,” you soothed the patchy skin of her cheeks. “It’s so hard, and I can’t imagine the grief and guilt you are feeling, but you are human. Mrs. Marvel, Avenger, and superhero all come second.” She shook her head, and you raised your eyebrow in question.

“I am also your girlfriend.” You smiled.

“You are. Can I kiss my girlfriend?” Kamala nodded with a smile. You connected lips against hers softly. The kiss wasn’t rushed. You kept it slow, trying to add reassurance - a promise that you were here. You were here to share the pain and offer any comfort. Her lips were warm and salty with tears. When you pulled back, Kamala’s eyes were closed, and your foreheads rested together. You felt her breath on your lips, mingling together.

Suddenly, the growl of Kamala’s stomach growled and broke the peaceful silence. “And here I thought you weren’t hungry,” you teased. Kamala smiled. “Come on,” you gently tapped her thigh. “Let’s go eat,” she slide off your lap and helped you stand with her hand. Before you could walk away, she spun you around and hugged you. Her arms wrapped tightly around you, almost like she feared you would disappear.

You held her tighter, too. At this moment, you were grateful and jealous that Wanda and Natasha were retired. At the end of the day, they would come home and be safe. Kamala was a hero, and she was good at it. You would never tell her to leave the Avengers. You would support her every step of the way.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦    

“Kamala!” you shirked as you felt her hands move underneath your shirt. Her hands were cold from being outside without gloves. You knew she could warm up her hands with her powers, but she wanted to be annoying. “Stop!” You tried to wiggle away, but she held you in place.

“But sweetheart,” she cooed. “You are so warm! I’m so cold!” You laughed while her fingers dug into your side.

“Stop! That tickles!” you laughed and pushed against her chest.

“Your laugh is so beautiful,” she flirted. “I’ll do anything to hear it.” You managed to push your girlfriend away and return to the party. Still, she made you laugh with a pinch to your side or her breath on your neck. It was a distraction that she was doing. Parties weren’t your favorite - too many people, loud noise, and no place to run if you felt overwhelmed.

Peter, Kamala, and Kate somehow broke down your walls and got you to go. It helped that Natasha and Wanda were among the guests, consisting of Avengers and a few city officials. Sam said it was a good way for the Avengers to build relations with the public. Natasha called it ass-kissing.

Being around so many people was nerve-racking, but Kamala was making it better.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦    

Despite being retired, Natasha found turning off parts of her brain hard. She constantly scanned for threats, especially when her family was in the room. She didn’t intend to be on alert, but her entire life has been fighting. Even if she was safe, it was hard for her to relax fully. Her eyes followed you around the room while Kamala was glued to your side. She watched you closely if you were given any sign of a panic attack or being overwhelmed. All she saw was a smile on your face or heard your laughter. If that smile faded or you got too caught up in your head, Kamala quickly pulled you out of it.

The girl could read your emotions better than her. “She won’t disappear if you take your eyes off her.” Tony appeared next to her. “ The Black Widow glared at him.

“What do you want, Stark?” The man held up his hands.

“I’m not looking for a fight. I’m just making my rounds to ensure everyone is having a good time,” Natasha nodded and looked back at you. She figured her nod was enough of an answer, but the man stayed. “You know,” he began, “I don’t think I’ve heard her laugh this much.” When the Black Widow looked back at Tony, he looked at you. You held Morgan on your hip while Kamala showed the young girl her powers. It was a cute sight to see. “It’s a good sound to hear.”

Natasha had no words to describe how good it was to hear your laugh and see your smile. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Melina told her not to let the Red Room take her heart. She liked to believe she kept it even with everything she had gone through. The evil in the world seemed to call to you. You were subjected to too much of it, but your heart remained good. Now, someone else was holding onto it, and Kamala was doing a good job of keeping it.

[kkatastrophic]

screaming crying and throwing up

Things I have beef with (oddly specific)

. English teacher

. Pe teacher

. Sliding doors

. 3x3 blockblast block

. Moths

. Thunder

. That broken frame that fell off the hook 3 times

. Webtoon comics

. That one green hair girl from komi

. The amount of money in my bank account

. The Australian 5 cent coin

[nerdygaymormon]

The Spiritual Nature of All Things

Kaylee McElroy is a physicist and wrote this intriguing article for Exponent II. There are two passages from the article that really resonated with me.

The first passage gives an explanation for how those who are on the outer edges of an entity don't have the same experience as those in the center. The relationship they have is different from those in the center. Those in the center have their bonding needs met while those on the edges do not. For those on the margins of the LDS Church, they may try to make a more comfortable relationship by going to a different congregation than they're assigned, by changing how they think about the teachings which are difficult for them, by asking to be released from a calling, and by separating themselves from the church. The same molecule/individual will act differently in different structures because their relationships within that structure is different.

The second quote gives an example that sex/gender is not a clear binary in nature that is separate and distinct. If this is created by God, then perhaps God's idea of sex/gender isn't so narrow as we teach in church and politics.

————————————————————

One familiar form of carbon is diamond. If you have a diamond ring, the diamond is made of carbon atoms. The carbon atoms in the middle are all bonded to four other carbon atoms. The crystal structure looks like this:

These bonds are very strong and they are equally strong in all directions. This makes diamond the hardest natural material.

Another familiar form of carbon is graphite. The “lead” in a pencil isn’t made out of the element lead. The lead of a pencil is graphite, which is another form of carbon. These carbon atoms are arranged in sheets of hexagons. The bonds between the carbon atoms in an individual sheet are very strong. The bonds between the sheets are weak, so the sheets slip against each other which allows you to make marks on a piece of paper.

Graphite and diamond are both made of the exact same element, but the atoms are arranged in a different structure. The structural difference gives these two materials very different properties. The exact same element can have opposite properties when it is in a different structure.

I’m going to make a kind of silly analogy: You are a carbon atom. You will behave differently when you are in different social structures. You will behave differently when you are in different spiritual structures. I’m going to say that the church is like diamond. It can look very pretty. It can be hard to alter. The atoms on the surface of a diamond are in energetically unfavorable positions. Atoms in the center of the diamond are bonded to four other carbon atoms. Atoms on the surface are not. They may only be bonded to two other carbons. They want to have more bonds so they can be more comfortable. The surface atoms may deform the lattice structure to stay on. They may skitter along the surface hoping to find a better spot with a ledge. They may pop off the surface altogether and may or may not ever get back on. Carbon atoms on the surface of a diamond will readily bond to other atoms like hydrogen or oxygen. These surface bonds affect the properties of the crystal. Depending on what the carbon bonds to, the surface may be hydrophilic or hydrophobic, insulating or conducting. The surface of a diamond can be engineered to meet specific needs.

It’s energetically unfavorable to be at the boundary of the church too. Some of us are engaged with the church, but feel discomfort. Some of us have found church engagement untenable for whatever mix of reasons. I want to suggest that you can engineer your church relationship to meet your life’s needs. People at the boundaries of the church have extra influence with how the church interacts with the outside world. You can decide what that looks like for you.

—————————

At some point though, this gender binary wasn’t big enough for me. I took my older daughters to do baptisms at the temple. I stayed outside with my youngest. It was a beautiful summer day and she didn’t want to go in the stake center to play with the other kids, so we spread a blanket under a tree and played games. She wondered about a maple spinner that whirled down next to us so we started talking about plant reproduction. There were daylilies all around the temple, so we dissected one. We stained our fingers with the pollen from the anthers of the stamen. We felt the sticky stigma and looked for the ovary in the pistil. She was amazed that the flowers could be boys and girls at the same time! There is an artificial binary inside the temple. One of my daughters had told me that it seemed wrong to her that women have to be baptized for women and men have to be baptized for men. The natural world, with all its varieties of God’s creations, shows us so many other ways of being.

[hellsite-proteins]

I have a bio exam in about six hours (in the afternoon, this is an appropriate hour for me to be awake) and I don't wanna study so I'm gonna recite everything I know about proteins to you.

Proteins can have CHONS, Carbon Hydrogen Oxygen Nitrogen Sulfur. Made up of amino acids. Amino acids have NH2-R-C-H-COOH. NH2 is the amino group and COOH is the uhh carboxyl group? Amino acids exist as zwitterions, with the NH2 becoming NH3- and COOH becoming COO-. Because electronegativity and stuff. There are 20 amino acids (in my syllabus).

Proteins have primary structure (polypeptide chain, the specific sequence of amino acids) listed from N terminus to C terminus. Maintained by peptide bonds. Which is a condensation reaction. The COOH and the NH2 form a bond that looks like CONH. Then secondary structure, which is alpha helixes and beta sheets. Both are maintained by hydrogen bonds. Beta sheets can be parallel or antiparallel, though most of the ones in your blog or antiparallel (but also very short). Alpha helixes are more common and recognisable.

Next is tertiary structure. Four types of bonds in this one: Hydrogen bonds, ionic bonds, disulfide bonds, and hydrophobic interactions. In increasing order of strength, hydrophobic<hydrogen<ionic<disulfide. Disulfide bonds are covalent bonds and very heat stable. Formed by disulfide bridges. Very strong. Sulfur is found on Cysteine so the more cysteine is in a molecule the more heat stable it is likely to be. The single letter code for Cysteine is C. If I say CCCCCCCCCCCC, will disulfide bridges form in my protein? Hm. Ionic bonds is when uhh. Charged particles. Shit I forgot I need to revise this part. Hydrogen bonds are easier, I can identify them by identifying differences in electronegativity- in chem I remember these as FON and H, but in amino acids there's only O and N, no Fluorine. Very common, in most secondary structures. In polar particles or R groups. Ionic bonds are for charged particles, hydrogen bonds are for polar particles. Lastly in hydrophobic interactions, not to be confused with homophobic interactions. Which is when hydrophobic side chains- most commonly stuff with lots of carbon, or sometimes sulfur- gather in the middle of the protein, away from the aqueous exterior.

Next is Quaternary structure, which is when there are MULTIPLE polypeptide chains. Only when multiple polypeptide chains, if not it's tertiary. Not all proteins have these. Bonds are mostly the same as tertiary, I think?

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC.

There are globular, fibrous, and membrane proteins. But mostly I have to focus on the globular and fibrous part. My case study for globular proteins is haemoglobin. Haemoglobin has four polypeptide chains in it's quaternary structure, two alpha two beta. It is unclear if the names of the chains have anything to do with whether there are alpha helixes or beta sheets in them. It also has a prosthetic group, a haem group in this case, of iron- I think an Fe2+ molecule? Yeah. Which oxygen binds to. And once oxygen is bound to it it causes a change in confirmation in all four parts allowing it to bind to oxygen more easily. I need to know about sickle cell disease, which is when one of the amino acids- glutamic acid I think- is replaced with a hydrophobic one. Serine? Either way when oxygen is bound to it it's fine but when there's no oxygen there's a hydrophobic patch sticking out, which it doesn't like so the haemoglobin will change confirmation to hide, causing the haemoglobin to clump together in a way that causes the red blood cell to appear "sickle shaped". Also I was wrong it's not serine it's valine.

For fibrous, I have collagen. Which is mostly a repeating sequence of three amino acids- shit I forgot which ones I need to get my notes- glycine-X-Y. Glycine has a very small R group which allows it to fit in the small tight part in the alpha helix. X-Y is usually proline and hydroxyproline. Alpha helix, hydrogen bonds formed. Proline and hydroxyproline have relatively inflexible and bulky R groups which gives the structure rigidity. That's the secondary structure. But collagen is unique in that it has a secondary and quaternary structure, because in tropocollagen it's like three of these alpha helixes wound together. Then each tropocollagen cross links to neighbouring tropocollagen molecules. This is covalent bonds involving lysine residues. Lysine??? Where tf did Lysine come from??? I don't see it anywhere else on the page. This is worrying. Uhh this increases tensile strength and the staggered or overlapping arrangement of tropocollagen minimises points of weakness along the length of the fibrils. It's like, collagenchain-tropocollagen-fibrils-fibres. The staggering gives the bundle of fibrils a banded appearance. There was... A part where they talk about how the cell produces it on the outside... No, wait, that's cellulose. Carbohydrate. Completely different.

Then we move on to enzymes which is a whole different chapter and this is already a very long ask which I imagine will take very long to load. Thank you for letting me ramble in your inbox. CCCCCCCCC. I'm going to ramble about DNA&genomics to hellsitegenetics in a bit but first I need to finish looking through mitosis and meiosis. Ugh. I hope this protein has a high success rate and that my exam has an even higher success rate. Thank you for your time.

this sounds great and i bet you did awesome on your exam! i find explaining things to someone else helpful when studying, so i hope that doing this helped you as well. without even looking at it i can guarantee that your exam was much more successful than whatever proteins i'll get out of this.

i actually had to split this into two proteins and run them completely separately because it was simply too long. i am both excited and absolutely terrified to see what we get from all those cysteines

letter sequence in this ask matching protein-coding amino acids:

protein 1:

IhaveaieaminatsihrsintheafternnthisisanapprpriatehrfrmeteawakeandIdntwannastdysImgnnareciteeverythingIknwatprteinstyPrteinscanhaveCHNSCarnHydrgenygenNitrgenSlfrMadepfaminacidsAminacidshaveNHRCHCHNHistheamingrpandCHisthehhcarylgrpAminacidseistaswitterinswiththeNHecmingNHandCHecmingCecaseelectrnegativityandstffThereareaminacidsinmysyllasPrteinshaveprimarystrctreplypeptidechainthespecificseqencefaminacidslistedfrmNterminstCterminsMaintainedypeptidendsWhichisacndensatinreactinTheCHandtheNHfrmandthatlkslikeCNHThensecndarystrctrewhichisalphaheliesandetasheetstharemaintainedyhydrgenndsetasheetscaneparallelrantiparallelthghmstfthenesinyrlgrantiparalleltalsveryshrtAlphaheliesaremrecmmnandrecgnisaleNetistertiarystrctreFrtypesfndsinthisneHydrgenndsinicndsdislfidendsandhydrphicinteractinsInincreasingrderfstrengthhydrphichydrgeninicdislfideDislfidendsarecvalentndsandveryheatstaleFrmedydislfideridgesVerystrngSlfrisfndnCysteinesthemrecysteineisinamleclethemreheatstaleitislikelyteThesinglelettercdefrCysteineisCIfIsayCCCCCCCCCCCCwilldislfideridgesfrminmyprteinHmInicndsiswhenhhChargedparticlesShitIfrgtIneedtrevisethispartHydrgenndsareeasierIcanidentifythemyidentifyingdifferencesinelectrnegativityinchemIrememertheseasFNandHtinaminacidstheresnlyandNnFlrineVerycmmninmstsecndarystrctresInplarparticlesrRgrpsInicndsarefrchargedparticleshydrgenndsarefrplarparticlesLastlyinhydrphicinteractinsnttecnfsedwithhmphicinteractinsWhichiswhenhydrphicsidechainsmstcmmnlystffwithltsfcarnrsmetimesslfrgatherinthemiddleftheprteinawayfrmtheaqeseterirNetisQaternarystrctrewhichiswhenthereareMLTIPLEplypeptidechainsnlywhenmltipleplypeptidechainsifntitstertiaryNtallprteinshavethesendsaremstlythesameastertiaryIthink

protein 2:

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCTherearegllarfirsandmemraneprteinstmstlyIhavetfcsnthegllarandfirspartMycasestdyfrgllarprteinsishaemglinHaemglinhasfrplypeptidechainsinitsqaternarystrctretwalphatwetaItisnclearifthenamesfthechainshaveanythingtdwithwhethertherearealphaheliesretasheetsinthemItalshasaprstheticgrpahaemgrpinthiscasefirnIthinkanFemlecleYeahWhichygenindstAndnceygenisndtititcasesachangeincnfirmatininallfrpartsallwingittindtygenmreeasilyIneedtknwatsicklecelldiseasewhichiswhenneftheaminacidsgltamicacidIthinkisreplacedwithahydrphicneSerineEitherwaywhenygenisndtititsfinetwhentheresnygentheresahydrphicpatchstickingtwhichitdesntlikesthehaemglinwillchangecnfirmatinthidecasingthehaemglintclmptgetherinawaythatcasestheredldcelltappearsickleshapedAlsIwaswrngitsntserineitsvalineFrfirsIhavecllagenWhichismstlyarepeatingseqencefthreeaminacidsshitIfrgtwhichnesIneedtgetmyntesglycineYGlycinehasaverysmallRgrpwhichallwsittfitinthesmalltightpartinthealphaheliYissallyprlineandhydryprlineAlphahelihydrgenndsfrmePrlineandhydryprlinehaverelativelyinfleileandlkyRgrpswhichgivesthestrctrerigidityThatsthesecndarystrctretcllagenisniqeinthatithasasecndaryandqaternarystrctreecaseintrpcllagenitslikethreefthesealphahelieswndtgetherTheneachtrpcllagencrsslinkstneighringtrpcllagenmleclesThisiscvalentndsinvlvinglysineresidesLysineWheretfdidLysinecmefrmIdntseeitanywhereelsenthepageThisiswrryinghhthisincreasestensilestrengthandthestaggeredrverlappingarrangementftrpcllagenminimisespintsfweaknessalngthelengthfthefirilsItslikecllagenchaintrpcllagenfirilsfiresThestaggeringgivesthendleffirilsaandedappearanceTherewasApartwheretheytalkathwthecellprdcesitnthetsideNwaitthatscelllseCarhydrateCmpletelydifferentThenwemventenymeswhichisawhledifferentchapterandthisisalreadyaverylngaskwhichIimaginewilltakeverylngtladThankyfrlettingmeramleinyrinCCCCCCCCCImgingtramleatDNAgenmicsthellsitegeneticsinaittfirstIneedtfinishlkingthrghmitsisandmeisisghIhpethisprteinhasahighsccessrateandthatmyeamhasanevenhighersccessrateThankyfryrtime

protein guy analysis:

protein 1 looks absolutely awful. it barely has any secondary structure, and absolutely no tertiary structure to speak of. the horrifying loops have some strings of cis bonds, and there is not a single disulfide bond. i hate this so much. the long string of C's just looks off putting. protein 2 is the same but worse. there is one disulfude, but otherwise barely any structure exists. the single alpha helix feels almost mocking. overall, this is miserable and disgusting.

predicted protein structure:

protein 1 cartoon

protein 1 surface

close up of cysteines on protein 1

protein 2 cartoon with disulfide bond in orange

protein 2 surface

[pyrrhiccomedy]

I have a physics question off of the "what is energy" post.

So is hot is small fast, that means cold has to be big slow right? (Possibly wrong idk)

What is the....fastness...and hotness....of...objects? Like pillows and books. A pillow would technically be room temperature. But it's made of particles. And I know that it's temperature doesn't dictate it's state of matter, but if you heated it up, it could catch fire and make smoke. So DOES temperature determine if it's a regular old object or not? Is there a fastness for pillows?

I may be thinking of this wrong.

[Anon sent a follow-up:

I asked the fastness of a pillow question and I think I got it.

It isn't hotness and fastness that makes the pillow. The hot and fast makes the molecules that make the oil that the (plastic synthetic fibers=oil so yeah) pillow is made from. But if you apply the small fastness to the pillow you may make it into a different state. I think.]

You're asking a lot of different questions here but I think you're fundamentally falsely conflating matter and energy. Things are matter. Matter has energy.

Let me try to break this out.

What do you mean when you say that hot is "fast but small?"

Heat is just a measurement of the motion of all of the atoms and molecules in a medium. Atoms are constantly vibrating. The faster they vibrate, the more friction they give off as they bump into each other. That friction converts the movement of the atom into heat energy.

2. If that's what hot is, then what is cold?

Nothing. Cold doesn't exist. Cold is just an absence of heat. If all of the atoms in a medium completely stopped vibrating, they would reach "absolute zero" temperature.

3. Does temperature dictate an object's state of matter?

Yes, of course. Every element can exist as a gas, liquid, or solid, and the easiest way of moving them from one state to the other is by changing their temperature. If you heat up a molecule, its atoms start vibrating faster, and the bonds between them start to break apart. Think of it like a room full of kindergartners all holding hands and jumping up and down. The harder they jump, the harder it is for them to keep holding hands.

4. Why does high temperature cause some things to burn?

Oxygen, for reasons which I think are probably too complex to get into here, is not particularly stable. It wants two more electrons than it has, and it will rip other molecules apart in order to get them. Low key it's doing that all the time. And the more energy you give oxygen (say, by raising the air temperature in a room, causing its atoms to vibrate faster), the more strength it has to do the ripping.

Mostly it rips apart hydrogen and carbon, with which it can form very stable molecules of carbon dioxide and water. (Molecules like to be stable.) Things are actually considered flammable if they have hydrogen and carbon atoms to give to oxygen. All organic matter has both: including cotton, linen, feathers, all petroleum-based products, and whatever else most pillows are made of. Ever heard life on earth described as "carbon-based?" Yeah. You're full of carbon, so you're flammable.

The fire you experience is just the heat and light given off by the electrons in the oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon atoms in the system jumping and dropping to higher and lower energy states, as molecular bonds are broken and new molecular bonds are formed.

All of which is to say: I think you're confusing yourself by bringing combustion into this. That's in the 102 course.

5. What energy does a pillow have?

Plenty. It has the chemical energy binding its molecules together (which can be unleashed in a combustion reaction); it has the nuclear energy binding its atoms' nuclei together; it has the heat energy from the standard amount of atomic vibration you'd get in an ordinary room; and it has potential energy from its position in the universe (if you removed all of the obstructions in its way, the pillow would start falling towards the black hole at the center of our galaxy. That motion energy is being 'stored' as potential energy).

All of that energy originated in the Big Bang.

[wolfstarr-the-sequel]

X-Men Power HC: Ororo Munroe

This is going to be me going on a tangent on how I think it would feel/ the physical sensations of using the powers of these characters.

Storm has a lot of aspects to her powers because weather has a lot of aspects to it so I'm going to try and break it down the best I can. First by listing all the things she can do with her powers.

Modify the temperature of the environment

Control all forms of precipitation

Make lightning 

Has control over atmospheric pressure

"She can incite all forms of meteorological tempests, such as tornadoes, thunderstorms, blizzards, and hurricanes, as well as mist."

"She has demonstrated the ability to separate water molecules into oxygen and hydrogen via electrolysis, allowing her to breathe underwater."

Can create earthquakes and lava bursts

In short, Storm is a god. If not a god, she is The Avatar because a lot of the things she can do has to do with the different elements. On top of that she can control all weather and not just earth.

Now first things first she can sense the world around her "She has once sensed a diseased and dying tree on the X-Mansion grounds, detected objects within various atmospheric mediums—including water, and sensed the incorrect motion of a hurricane in the Northern Hemisphere and the gravitational stress on the tides by the Moon and Sun as well as the distortion of a planet's magnetosphere"

So how would being able to use these powers feel? And for this I'm going to be dinning into research about the different bending styles and apply them here. Yes, I'm talking about Avatar The Last Airbender because that series has gone more in depth about these sorts of things.

Airbending

Now when she uses this aspect of her powers I'd imagine there is a feeling of lightness or weightlessness. Even if she doesn't fly while using these powers, I'd imagine that feeling is still there. I thought of this because Aang is noted to be light on his feet with his fighting styles to where Toph had a hard time detecting him with her earthbending.

Waterbending

For this one I can imagine that there's a feeling of constant motion even if she isn't moving. Like standing in the ocean as the waves sway back in forth as you just stand there. Water has no form unless given one so unless Storm is actively manipulating the water around her, she can feel it moving constantly. Not in a big overwhelming way but like faintly. If that makes sense

Earthbending

Heavy. Very heavy. Storm may an all powerful goddess but it would still take a lot of strength to manipulate something big and heavy as the Earth. Unlike the other elements, Earth is very dense and can't just easily pulled from the atmosphere around her. I'd Imagine there's a lot of muscle strain and a feeling of soreness after earthbending like things.

Firebending

More specifically lightning bending. I know lava is hot but that is just a hot rock and fall beneath the Earthbending Catagory.

"Generating lightning usually involves a circular motion with the arms. Mentally, it involves a complete absence of emotion and peace of mind, and physically, it requires separating the energies of yin and yang, also interpreted as positive and negative electric potential respectively. When the yin and yang collide together to become whole again, lightning is created, with the bender only guiding, rather than controlling, the lightning's direction." - Atla Fandom Wiki

Now if we're going from a more scientific view of lightning, lightning is a form of plasma. Plasma is the 4th state of matter that is the result of heating up gas. So when Storm summons lightning, she is heating up the gas molecules in the air and focusing it onto one point to smite someone or something.

So of course this will result in a lot of body heat and maybe even some sweating. But sweat isn't a problem for someone who can manipulate it off her body.

This was a very long one and I hope you all enjoyed my tangent.

Masterlist

[kiingleoturtles]

Explaining Elicia's Frostbite Alchemy

Okay fellas I'm finally making a post explaining the science of Elicia Hughes' alchemy technique which currently appears in two of my fics (Satisfaction as well as Simple and Clean) so let's start this.

Quick shout out to @kaethefangirl for helping me work out some of this stuff and designing the transmutation circle below

Elicia's frostbite alchemy is an adaptation of Roy's flame alchemy, but whereas his has a triangle (three points for the three elements needed to make fire - oxygen heat fuel), her's has a pentagon (five points) for the five elements needed to make a glacier:

90% water

9% oxygen

1% hydrogen

0.1% carbon

0.01% nitrogen

Her alchemy can be used to create ice and mostly uses her own breath to do so, given the fact that breath is a mixture of oxygen and water molecules so she can form ice from thin air!

However, she is also a little freak (probably from losing her dad at a young age and attempting human transmutation to bring him back and then joining the military when that failed) so she also tends to freeze the blood in people's veins. Some of the chemical components of blood include hydrogen and oxygen, so her alchemy can be used to freeze blood.

Her alchemy is similarly activated to Roy's (another thing due to basing her technique off of his) and so subsequently she uses alchemy gloves with the transmutation circle from earlier on them. Although it is harder to snap with her left hand (automail) she has gloves for both hands.

Speaking of her automail, it's made in the same style as Briggs automail is so as not to freeze over (although if you've read enough of Satisfaction you'll know that didn't work when her alchemy backfired on her).

Being both fifteen years old and the inventor of this new type of alchemy, Elicia does find it hard to control so sometimes just does regular transmutations instead but she likes to try and impress her uncle Roy occasionally by using her new alchemy (he's still upset she tried human transmutation though).

And that's all I can think of for now! But if anyone has any more questions then my ask box is always open and I'd love to chat about it!

[twentydaysofmay]

one thing i kinda hate about most attempts to anthropomorphize chemistry (mainly in visual media) is that a lot of them only focus on the individual elements, with little to no exploration of how would they interact. while they can definitely be interesting on their own, it disappoints me to see no one trying to combine them into molecules, which (at least in my opinion) are infinitely more diverse, engaging, and useful to know about:

as of August 2023, there's only 118 known elements, and a lot of the later ones aren't even stable enough to have their properties studied. the number of known compounds lies in at least hundreds of thousands, and expands a lot more rapidly

because of that, knowing the elements alone is knowing only a tiny fraction of how our world works. hydrogen may be in stars and carbon may form diamonds, but if you never let them touch, the entire garden of organic chemistry (which hosts almost everything you eat, wear, and every single living thing on this planet) is locked from you!

due to the much larger realm of possibilities, you don't really feel obligated to cover "everything". you think an element isn't fun? you can ignore it! instead, try turning one of your favorites into an acid or a base

you ran out of fun elements? that's not an issue either! if you let an acid and a base react together, you get a salt, a lot of which exist in nature in the form of minerals

speaking of chemical reactions, why do so few people try to depict them? i wanna see the little guys actually do something with each other! make them undergo character development!

water. if you think drawing all of the above would be too much, at least try to form water. if you can't put two hydrogens and an oxygen together, i consider your potential unused

[anulithots]

BIO QUESTIONNNNS

any tips on interpreting pedigrees???

How does fermentation work 😭

whats your favourite organelle??

GL on the exam!!!!

THANKKK YOUUUU FORR THE ASKKK

Pedigrees

these guys were sooooo puzzling when I first looked at them. But once you get a feel for them, they aren't too bad. (Then they become a fun puzzle and you feel so smart and smug /pos)

Sometimes they'll include the half-shaded shape, sometimes they won't. On my practice exams they don't so I won't include talking about the half-shaded shapes (which are basically like telling you which ones are carriers, when nothing is half shaded then you have to figure this out yourself.)

Okay so first off, I typically look for sex-linked/autosomal traits. If the affected individuals are usually one sex (male typically) then the trait is sex-linked. If there's siblings and only the males (typically) are affected, then again - sex linked. (I wishhh we could learn biology with intersex people included it wouldd bee soo nicceee)

ALSO ALSO, if the mother is affected, then all of their children are affected - no matter what the trait of the male parent is - then I'd think the trait is passed on through mitochondrial DNA. (mitochondrial DNA is sooo coooool I need to reread those pub med articles. But overall, mitochondrial DNA comes from the female parent only because the male parent contributed only Nuclear DNA, the female parent contributed the cytosol and every organelle in it.)

From there, if neither of the above is true, then it's typically autosomal and either a recessive or dominant trait.

If it's autosomal recessive, then typically it will skip generations/ only some offspring will have it. It's just less likely that the recessive trait will appear, bonus points if there's four siblings and one of them is affected. (Not reallllyyy how it works in the real world since genotypes for each child is independent from the other children... but IDK pedigrees on tests and stuff tend to do this.) Also if none of the parents have it but some children are affected, then one or both of the parents are most likely carriers. (and if you can see the parents of the parents, you can typically find out which one).

Dominant ones just... tend to appear more. They don't usually skip generations, and if neither parent is affected, then the children won't be affected. (You can't be a carrier for a dominant allele under most circumstances... not sure if there's exceptions)

Pedigrees take a bit of getting used to, but they are FUN once you get a feel for them. (Tbh our ap bio class is kind of cursed, we went through a few teachers that all quit. Now I'm the honorary teacher of our class and honestly... I just got a feel for them. Practice I suppose? If you remember how different traits are inherited, then you should be good) Good luck with them!

Fermentation

OKay so not going to lie here.... I usually skipped over fermentation because I thought it would be boring. Once I saw this ask, I looked at it and it's... surprisingly not that bad? (At least to me, I'm insane.)

Okie so basically what happens is

~oxygen~ the most important molecule for us, breathe they say, breath is the language of the soul, our almighty oxygen...

... mops up the waste products at the end of the electron transport chain in oxidative phosphorylation (hydrogens) and turns into water.

But, despite how unromantic that sounds... it's super important. Because without our oxygen janitors, we can't do the electron transport chain. The waste products would build up and we'd probably burst into flames or smth (honestly that is what would happen if our cells tried to metabolize glucose all at once)

So cells that do fermentation decide to forgo the whole electron transport chain, best not deal with it.

So all it has is glycolysis. (I call it the carbon do-see-do, whatever that dance thingy is called. I don't know why.) I'll include a picture here of it

(knowing the names of the intermediate products is probably the hardest part.. I just... don't.)

Basically, add your phosphates to each side, split it in half, add another phosphate (not from ATP this time), Oxidize the heck out of the carbon molecules, then give those electrons to the NAD+, which turn into NADHs (One per half/three carbon molecule.), then you break off your 'caps' of Phosphates and add it to ADPs. ONce you add that extra phosphate, you make the ADPs into ATPs. Four of them total, but because you invested two ATPs, you got two 'new'/net ATPS.

I'll explain a few more concepts because I think I can do better than the textbooks if I do say so myself. (Especially the ones I got for school, mc graw hill ones.... like... ehhhhh it's so weirdly written. The book I read when I was little is called 'the way we work' gorgeous pictures and lots of metaphors, definitely one of the things that got me into biology, and helped me understand it.)

Adenosine triphosphate is basically a kitkat. Lots of energy stored within the last three phosphates on the side. (which slightly repel each other, so there's a lot of pent-up energy stored, which is why it takes all of cellular energy to make these, you have to go against the natural tendencies. The plus is that, like a kit kat, they are easy to break and release a lot of energy)

If you look at biochemistry, signal transduction pathway, transportation across the cell membrane, you use these phosphates (very negatively charged) to power EVERYTHING. Think of using an explosion to power your solar panels so you can make something. Like that. So when you do glycolysis, you're just adding those phosphates onto the ADPs to 'remake the Kitkat'/ put two negatively charged magnets together.

Basically, you're energy harvesting. The electrons hold energy, you take that energy from the glucose to give it to the NADH, your electron carrier.

HOwever, you can't do the electron transport chain. So now what do you do with the energy...

Discard it. You got two ATPs, and without oxygen, that's the best you're going to get. (Compared to around 38 ATPs with oxygen. Helpful little janitor.)

Essentially, you have pyruvate (the 3-carbon molecule you made from splitting glucose in half in glycolysis) and two NADHs that you need to turn back into NAD+ so you can do glycolysis again.

(IDk why I'm using second person now. By 'you' I mean the cell. ANd by the cell I mean I'm personifying, no one really 'wants' anything here. It just... happens.)

To do this, fermenting cells have this little trick, they basically give the electrons back to the pyruvates. Return them from whence they came. (apparently there's a good return policy)

If it's a muscle cell or yogurt or the likes, the NADHs give the energy/elections back to the pyruvate, which turns it into lactic acid.

If it's yeast, the NADHs give the energy/electrons back to one of the intermediate products of glycolysis. (I forget the name). This produces ethanol and CO2

So now you got your NAD+'s back. And you have two ATPs (net, four total). Not the... not the best but it's what you got.

OKIE DOKIE THAT'S IT. I RECCOMEND THE AEOMBA SISTERS IF YOU STILL NEED HELP /pos.

Favorite organelle

akldfjalskdfj tha's like askingg meee to chosee a favoritee ficitonall characterrrr.

..a jdflaskdfjaskdlfjaslkdfj

I can't pick favorites for anyythinggg.

LIke the ER does protein production, but the nucleus has the DNA and such, and of course we have the mitochondria (the powerhouse of the cell they say), and the Golgi body post office and the lysosome slaughterhouses and the centrioles with their cytoskeleton and their miotic spindle.... you can't do this to me /pos.

kladsfjasdf ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM BECAUSE THE CELL MAKES PROTEINS THERE. kafjkaadlfkjaks AAAAA-

THank you for wishing me luck! I... I hope I don't ramble on the free response questions...or use metaphors... ha.

(also also, haven't really storyfied cellular respiration because...twas hard to storyfy. THey don't include the enzymes involved because it's too complicated. I tried my best!)

[argentsunshine]

hey not doubting you at all, but do you have any specific proof that points to matpat being a plagiarist?

augh i had a whole thing typed up and Tumblr ate it

short version: there's been a lot of allegations for years. the hermitcraft one seems pretty cut and dry to me. he has also just stolen theories from the source material itself - when he made a theory on a series i shan't name, his whole theory was something explicitly canon in the books, and he doesn't acknowledge that once.

now for my own personal evidence. i consider this less "proof" and more "occam's razor says plagiarism, and the other explanation is that he's incredibly dumb". under cut because it involves fma and chemistry neither of which i can shut up about

so, here's the video in question:

I'd use more screenshots to prove my point here, but apparently game theory can't afford captions, so I'll just explain the old fashioned way.

Matthew is trying to prove that the Elric's formula for a human (water 35 liters, carbon 20kg, etc) is incorrect (ie. does not have the right elements in the right proportions to make a human.)

to do this, he has to convert the several compounds (water, ammonia, lime, salt, and saltpeter) into elemental masses.

first, he divides each element by its molar mass. so for water, that's 35,000g/(18g/mol)=1,942mol. this is correct. don't get used to it.

so saying you have a "mole" of something is kind of like saying you have a "dozen" of it - you know if someone has 2 dozen eggs, then they have 2x12=24 eggs, because a dozen means 12. moles are like that, except instead of 12 it's 6.023x10²³. so the moles we just calculated is the number of molecules of water that are in 35L - 1,942mol converts to ~1.17x10²⁷ molecules.

this next bit is where matthew goofs it. he says that to get from the number of water molecules to the number of oxygen atoms, you multiply the number of molecules by the percent of the weight of the water that is oxygen, so about 89%. i hope you can see why this is incorrect. (if you can't: each water molecule has one oxygen atom in it, so the number of oxygen atoms in the water is the same as the number of molecules of water, not 89% of it.) he then uses these incorrect figures to calculate the elemental masses. these are his final masses (which, for some reason, he doesn't show clearly):

but after a few jokes, he shows this table comparing the fma numbers to reality:

ignoring that the top ones are in g and the bottom in kg, you can see that he only gets the same numbers if he didn't have to do any conversion. somehow, hydrogen goes from just under 700g to 4.5kg. he doesn't explain why the numbers changed or where the new ones came from.

so, i did the maths myself (here's the full spreadsheet if you want to check my work):

(you'll note my "matpat mass" doesn't match either set. i was doing what he said he did in the video. i have no idea what else he did to get some of his numbers. i think the hydrogen one might be because he added the correct mass from ammonia to his incorrect water mass? the oxygen i have no idea because. matthew how is there less than 3kg of oxygen in 35kg of water, even ignoring the other oxygen containing compounds)

now some of my numbers are a bit off because of rounding errors, but you'll see that my numbers agree pretty well with the wikipedia-looking chart. this is because i, unlike matpat, understand how to do chemistry calculations that they teach to babies (fourteen year olds). but the change in Matthew's numbers from two points thirty seconds apart in the video raises the question of where the hell he got them from. way i see it, there are two explanations:

1. matthew did realise he'd explained everything wrong and his maths was off, but decided to publish the video without correcting his explanation or his first set of numbers anywhere;

2. matthew stole these numbers from somewhere else, where they'd been calculated by someone who understands chemistry 101, and couldn't even understand the chemistry well enough to replicate their results.

why bother saying all of this if it proves nothing? i need you to understand that i was in chemistry for babies when this video came out, and deep in the weeds of my fma hyperfix and my chem hyperfix. this has bothered me for a full third of my life. this isn't an explanation it's an exorcism

[revlyncox]

Stardust (2024)

We are made of stardust. Our kinship with the universe helps us to revel in connection and interdependence, and it reminds us that we are built for change. This sermon was presented to The Unitarian Society in East Brunswick on June 2, 2024, by Rev. Lyn Cox.

The story of the universe’s origins fills me with awe and wonder. In this congregation, filled as it is with scientists and educators and keen observers of the moment, I suspect I am not alone. In particular today, the scientific story of the universe leads me to reflect on time and change, awe and wonder.

In this morning’s story, we talked about what happened between the first few seconds of the universe to eight and a half billion years later with the formation of a young planet earth. Within a fraction of a second after the big bang, sub-atomic particles formed. Within a few minutes, the universe had Hydrogen and Helium. Yet it took a couple of hundred million years for the universe to generate light in what we think of as visible wavelengths. Some changes seem to happen instantly. Some take a long time to manifest.

Science gives us evidence for a lineage that traces back to the beginning of time. All of the elements in our bodies came from that first generation of stars, cooking Hydrogen and Helium into things like Carbon, Oxygen, Iron, Calcium. 

Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson said: 

“Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kinda cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe, we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us.” [End quote]

Everything that makes up the molecules of us, the ground we walk upon, the water we drink, the food we eat, the clouds in the sky--every atom of everything we can see, touch, or know was once part of the burning heart of a star. You are part of the universe. You are part of the story of time and space, change and revolution, cooling down and burning bright again. 

I believe you have many reasons to be optimistic and excited about the future. There are strong common bonds and shared values here, such as scientifically curious minds, souls that welcome reflection and mindfulness, hearts open to sharing strength and hope, a shared commitment to racial justice, and a legacy of educating young children to become creative, open-minded peacemakers. There are many gifts that are part of the character of this congregation and many gifts among you as members and friends. 

And I know change is hard. Being open to the unfolding universe takes courage, and the outcome is uncertain. And many people are experiencing profound personal change at the same time, which makes it harder to let go of the things that seemed like they should be constant. Not to mention that there is a lot of uncertainty in the world. How we choose to respond may transform us. A lot of change is happening.  It’s not easy to be in-between, to be unsettled, to be in motion, and yet these places of uncertainty may bring us gifts of discernment and spiritual growth. 

You may be feeling like a Hydrogen atom in the burning heart of a primordial star. Going from gas to liquid to solid doesn’t sound comfortable or easy. Yet I know that you are resilient and strong, and that becoming the community you are called to be means facing the future with courage. 

Knowing that change is happening can be balanced with the feeling of stillness that comes from observing the sky. We know our sun has a lifespan as all stars do, but for the entirety of human history we have relied on the turning earth that brings the sun into view at predictable times. The constellations change, but over millennia, so we feel like we have a connection with ancient stargazers. The moon phases come and go in ways that seem reliable, and when we can observe the moon it calls to mind and heart the poetry of generations. We can feel connected in the midst of change. 

Change and connectedness are both true. Noticing the movement of matter and energy helps us to harness that change, to cooperate with the forces that create and uphold life. Sometimes change comes in the form of learning. We’ve learned a lot about the origins of the universe in the last forty or fifty years. New telescopes let scientists see farther into the cosmos, which also means farther back in time as the light from long-ago stars finally reaches us. I bet C (a member of the congregation who gives talks about astronomy) would tell us all about the wonder of stargazing if we ask. 

Recently refined computer models lead astronomers to suggest a complex early universe, with stars forming in companionship. Previously, they thought the primordial stars, the mother stars as they were called, were formed in isolation. So perhaps if we have some metaphors rolling around in our head about how lonely it is to be a star, it’s time to revise those. The universe has always been interdependent. We are made of star stuff. Our paths of transformation are bound up together. We are part of the same forces as the eternal lights in the heavens, and we are the way the universe has developed to know itself. 

It seems to me that this lunar perspective, with which we notice both the feeling of stillness and the signs of change, could inspire those of us involved in congregational life. Even when a congregation is undergoing tremendous change, there is something comforting about the reliability of a church. Spiritual communities meet every week. Sacred buildings like this one are strong and solid. There is a spirit of history and heritage that moves through these halls. It might seem like life here is as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be; or maybe part of us wishes that it were so.

Yet I also see a people on the move. I see children and youth who are growing and asking different questions every year. I see adults whose concerns shift with the condition of the country and the cycle of life. The congregation forges partnerships for social justice and for fellowship. Newcomers become friends, and often friends become members, bringing their new ideas and wisdom. Congregations change. We cannot assume that having always done something a certain way is going to continue to be the best method for channeling our energy.

Everything changes. This community has changed, this neighborhood has changed, and the nature of religious life and voluntary organizations in the United States has changed. We must learn new skills and be open to drastic structural change in order to meet the rising future with the same all-embracing love and transformative passion for justice that has animated Unitarian Universalism from the beginning. And I believe this congregation has that love and that passion and that capacity for transformation. You are capable of the change that is necessary to clarify your mission and live into it in creative, life-giving, entirely new ways. Interdependence is the future. 

What is this community called to do together? How are you inspired to cooperate with the forces that create and uphold life? How are we as a Unitarian Universalist movement called to move in the world? As surely as the moon circles the earth, as surely as the tides pull in and out, the world around us is changing. We are going to need to be open to surprise and adaptation when things don’t happen the way we expect. In our quest to be a hospitable, compassionate, spiritual people, we are going to need to change to stay true to our values and our expectations of ourselves. What that means at the local level is up to you.

Change can be scary. We might be nervous about asking more of ourselves at a time when current events leave some of us feeling drained. We might worry about losing the sense of security--of stillness--that comes from keeping things the same, even when those things aren’t working as well as they used to. Perhaps there have been times in your individual life when you felt the same way. Each one of us is a body in motion.

With a lunar perspective, we see that stillness and change are simultaneous. They are both true, depending on your vantage point. We can move with the tides and still take comfort in the assurance that this community provides a gentle, welcoming light.

In addition to this perspective on time and connectedness, science can lead us to a sense of wonder. Learning more about rational, scientific explanations for how the universe is unfolding only add to my feelings of awe and my gratitude for life. There is a sense of joy and connection in discovering that the same elements and laws of nature are at work in our bodies and among the galaxies.

Knowing that the story of the cosmos has followed reliable laws of nature does not take away the amazement. Among all of the planets in all of the galaxies, the elements have combined to create a home for life here. Among all of the beings that have existed on this planet, we are among the lucky ones who can remember and imagine. In all of the history of humanity, short as it is, the people of our generations have the ability to learn directly about the surface of other planets, to send messages back out to the cosmos, to see images of our own planet swimming through space.

We are blessed indeed. The universe has unfolded such that we have the precious and rare opportunity to seek and to understand. What meaning shall we draw from this? What do we want to do with this gift?

It seems to me that letting ourselves revel in awe of the interdependent web would be a start. Sing praises, write poems, read scientific papers, do what you can to spread enthusiasm for the world we are lucky enough to inherit. Keep doing those things. For Unitarian Universalists, the free and responsible search for truth and meaning is a religious experience.

If we’re ready to go further, we can advocate for the process of discovery. We can’t take for granted the freedoms of accurate science in the classroom, scientific research unfettered by corporate interests or anti-science extremism, or the will to use our collective knowledge to preserve our planet. We can’t take for granted libraries and schools that are allowed to help people to know the truth. We must resist efforts to hold hostage our sense of hospitality and mutual responsibility. 

A sense of wonder is a powerful thing. Let us honor the stars that we are made of with appreciation for the universe as it is and burning curiosity for what we have yet to learn.

The stars twinkling in the night sky are fiery suns, turning matter into energy every second of their existence. Change is the heritage of the universe. Embrace the changes ahead of you with the same sense of awe and wonder that you bring to the constellations, to the sunrise and sunset, to the visitations of comets. As Ms. Frizzle from the children’s show, The Magic School Bus says, “Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy!” You are made of star stuff. Now is the time for this nebula of stars to burn brightly and give birth to something new. 

So be it. Blessed be. Amen. 

[just-a-music-and-poetry-lover]

Before I came out as trans, when I was 16, I rarely saw myself as feminine and in those few, spaced-out times, I ended up not liking what I was seeing. I saw femininity as something futile, lesser than and not something to be proud of. I blame the patriarchy entirely.

But I have come to a better understanding of things. No, I am not a woman but I have a connection to womanhood that can never be severed. I lived 16 years of my life as one, but that's not the main factor here. I do have a feminine side and I no longer loathe or fear or reject it. I love it and, even though it's not a sentient being, I think it deserves an apology from me.

To my femininity: I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't treat you with the respect you deserved. You're such a marvellous part of me and I denied it for far too long. I look forward to spending the rest of my life correcting my wrongs towards you.

It's such a funny thing that I spent so long restraining my girlhood because I was ashamed of it, as if it wasn't as part of me as my brown eyes or my love for poetry. I learned in Biology class that a glucose molecule has three different elements: hydrogen, oxygen and carbon. Trying to tear away my femininity and expecting to still be myself in the end would be the same as trying to strip the glucose molecule from its carbon atoms and still expect it to be glucose.

[mckiwi]

Abraham’s Side

The time came when the beggar died, and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. (Luke 16:22)

Angels are said to guide humans to their deaths, but what about other angels? Or rather, fallen angels?

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None

Category: M/M

Fandoms: Good Omens

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley, Metatron

Tags: BAMF Aziraphale, Hurt Aziraphale, Hurt Crowley, Metatron Being an Asshole, Biblical Scripture References, Holy Water, Suicidal Thoughts, Aziraphale’s Flaming Sword, Supreme Archangel Aziraphale, Post Season 2, Hurt/Comfort

Words: 1,143

“One of your duties as the Supreme Archangel is to, uh… assist the other archangels when their time should come to a close.” The Metatron explained as he and Aziraphale walked along the cliff’s edge. Soft waves crashed against the rocks below and the air smelled faintly of sea salt. It was a funny thing; being on Earth as long as Aziraphale had. He didn’t need to breathe, for example, but oh, did he want to. He could name every element, name every molecule and atom, yet he found he rather liked combining these things together. Hydrogen, Oxygen, Sodium, and Chloride on their own were wonderful, indeed, but mix them together and it was heaven. Or rather, it was Earth . He didn’t quite remember when he’d started to prefer the soil beneath his feet over the blue and clear sky above, yet here he was, gazing out at the distant mountains shimmering in the ripples.

Aziraphale’s eyes were locked onto the mountains as he spoke, “Does it happen often? Archangels dying?”

The Metatron hummed thoughtfully, “Not really, no. Every few millennia or so, at most, hence why it is your honor to help them with the transition process. Not much can take down a mighty archangel.”

“What about me? When I die?” Aziraphale asked, still watching the sunlight glitter over the water.

“What makes you think you’re allowed to die?” The Metatron scoffed. Aziraphale chuckled slightly at that, and turned to the other angel at his side, expecting to find some sense of humor in those eyes. He found none. Face falling, he looked down at his off-white boots. He terribly missed his old shoes. He missed his coat, too, if he were being honest with himself. As well as his tie, and his books, and his bookshop, and his desk, and his humans, and his friend !”

What did it matter now, anyway? He’d already given up all of those things.

The Metatron raised a hand and the two stopped walking, “Well then, Aziraphale, there he is. Though, now that I think of it, I do believe I might have chosen the wrong angel for the job.”

Aziraphale shuffled and shook his head quickly, “Oh, no, no, no. I am perfectly qualified, I assure you.”

“We’ll see. Go now, he’s been waiting a long time for you.” The Metatron nodded towards a black-clad figure about a stone’s throw from where the two stood.

Aziraphale raised a shaky hand to his lips and took one, two, three tentative steps over toward the demon. The demon in question had his head hung low and his face just out of view. His red hair had grown longer and was less put together than the last time Aziraphale had seen it. There was a pair of sunglasses to the side of the demon, alongside a golden ring Aziraphale had grown fond of wearing. In the demon’s grasp, much to the angel’s dismay, was a tartan bottle.

Aziraphale choked, “Crowley?”

“He can’t hear you, not quite yet, anyway.” The Metatron explained.

Aziraphale whipped around to face the Metatron, breath staggered, “I thought you said I would be helping archangels! Angels! Not demons!”

A shrug, “Perhaps the files need to be updated. He used to be an archangel, after all. And besides, I would think you would hardly mind confronting a demon, considering you’ve been doing it all this time without much issue.”

“But, but he can’t die! I don’t want him to die!” Aziraphale practically pleaded.

“You can’t change it. It’s written in the Laws of Nature.” The Metatron stated. “Angels guide the humans. Archangels guide the angels. And you guide the archangels.”

Aziraphale looked between the two beings frantically, “but it’s him ! He can’t-”

“To the World,” Crowley said with a wobbly smile. He brought the bottle to his lips.

“No ,” Aziraphale exclaimed and rushed to Crowley’s side.

He was too late. Always too late . Crowley swallowed and his hand all but immediately reached up to claw at his own throat. A scream on his tongue. Gold-tinted blood behind his teeth. Pain, fear, and desperation in his blown, yellow eyes. Slitted pupils focused on Aziraphale. “‘zira…”

Aziraphale dropped down to his knees, hands flitting about as his heartbeat roared in his ears. “Crowley! I’m here, I’m here. I’m so sorry! I- I don’t- I can’t-” For the first time in Aziraphale’s very long existence, he didn’t know what to do. He turned to the Metatron, “ Help him !”

The Metatron remained unphased. “I might have forgotten to mention, you’re not just guiding him to Death. You’re allowing it. Giving him access to it.”

“No , I can’t allow him to die! I can’t!” Aziraphale looked at Crowley, who was writhing in pain, awaiting the inevitable, wondering what he could have possibly done to prolong this agony. It was simple, in the big scope of things. He chose to love.

And in return, was loved.

The Metatron sighed, “It’s the Laws of Nature. You have to let him go.”

“No,” Aziraphale stated.

“I beg your pardon?” The Metatron exclaimed.

“I said, no .”

“They’re the Laws of Nature, they can’t be-”

“I am Aziraphale. Former Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Principality of Earth, and Supreme Archangel over the Hosts of Heaven. The Laws of Nature are mine to command, and they will obey me .”

Hellfire danced around the sword in Aziraphale’s hand. The angel laid a hand on his demon. “Sleep ,” he commanded. The demon slept.

The Metatron was staring, absolutely disbelieving of what he was seeing, “How dare you thw-”

“Begone ,” Aziraphale commanded. The Metatron was no more.

He drew hellfire from the blade and cauterized the wounds. Any traces of holy water evaporated completely from Crowley’s body. Any harm done to his true form was healed. Neither of them needed to breathe, but they wanted to. And Aziraphale breathed all of that want into Crowley.

Crowley woke slowly at first, breathing in the scent of fresh soil and seawater. Slitted pupils eventually focused on Aziraphale’s figure leaning over him. The angel could see his own reflection in the demon’s eyes. Crowley reached a hand out to Aziraphale’s face and wiped away a stray tear. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came. Aziraphale nodded encouragingly, “Yes, what is it dear?”

A tear rolled out of the corner of Crowley’s eye, “You’re as gorgeous as the day I lost you.”

Aziraphale pulled Crowley into a hug, arms wrapping around the demon so tightly one would think he was afraid the very wind might take him away from his grasp. His lips found the side of Crowley’s face, leaving tiny freckles in their wake. “I’m here. You didn’t lose me. I’m here.”

Aziraphale loved many scents on Earth. Seawater and fresh soil, for example. But his favorite scent, by far, was the scent of his nose buried in red hair.

[aynaa-ya-sheesh-mehel]

[MARVEL RP BLOG]

[If you want you can just read the blue lines to understand what I wrote, but quicker. For a short idea of who I am]

Hi, this is Aynaa, Aynaa Aahat. I am an inhuman. Born in Darjeeling, Siliguri. My mother was from there, and mostly grew up there as well. Ironically blue was always my favourite color, my mother said that I refused to wear anything other than blue on celebrations. If you can guess, i wasnt the most intellectual. Even though I did have a knack for studies. I know four languages, Nepali, Hindi, English and Assamese. All learnt because of pure choice.

I had lost a blue chunni at the age of four, the day I almost missed the train to India searching for it, when I went through terrigenesis, 17 years later, I found it in my American home, I think this has something to do with my elemental powers. Oh what they are? Look below!

The story of my life:

When I first moved to Delhi at the age of 17, my biggest issue was the constant language barrier. So I learned Hindi as fast as I could, I thought I would study in Hindi literature but within the first few months, an interest grew in psychology. I read more and more about it... until there was no more to learn. I was over with college. At the age of 21, I finished college and my father took me to America, three months from my first university semester. Unfortunately for me... I took a fish oil pill.

The fish oil pill had Terrigen Crystal bits in it and then and there I went through terrigenesis. Physically, I was the same, but I could hear so much in my head. Words that didn't make sense, languages I didn't know and I yelled out. They stopped. My hands tingled, I brought them out in front of me, a weird sky blue glitter was jittering from my hands and I tried to flail it away. In my 4 years of Psychology, I never learned one bit about this.

I was an Inhuman, but both my parents had had the fish oil pills? I looked at them in disbelief. They broke the news, I was adopted. when my mother was in labour she lost the child, but a woman nearby had passed away from giving birth and her daughter (me) had the same color of hair as she did. So she took me as her own. I enjoy knowing that I wasn't forced upon my parents' lap and that they actually wanted me.

My powers were being able to control air and water, my blue-glittery-smokey-powers, gave me the ability to transform air and water, meaning I could actually 'create' some water to drink when I don't want to get up. It took me two years but I couldn't save myself from S.H.I.E.L.D's radar. They let me know that if I needed them... I would've had them.

My powers:

I can control two elements. Water and Air, not only can I contort the two but also create them out of thin air. To create air I just need to collect it from my surroundings and to create water I just have to compress a certain amount of air and squeeze out the hydrogen and oxygen molecules.

My powers are controlled through my hands. I have a blue, sort of, glittery smoke come out of my hands and that smoke gives me a visual representation of how I'm morphing the elements. Whereas for other elementals, they have invisible powers. Mine are visible.

I can also control temperature. I can heighten it or lower it. Vacuum Chambers will not work on me. I can easily manipulate air inside the place. Everything has gaps. Metal, wood, concrete, cloth. Nothing is ever fully packed. In a solid, there are multiple microscopic gaps and so I can easily manipulate air through those gaps.

[Will use //x// when speaking ooc]

Face claim: Tara Sutaria [Mashallah behen ko nazar na lage]

[kick-a-long]

I almost failed my first organic chemistry class.

I retook it and decided to give all the elements personalities and relationship dynamics.

Carbon was a super average guy but really dependable. He needs company and gets along ok with pretty much everyone.

Hydrogen was kind of like an outdoor pet. They hang out but will kind of disappear and reappear for no reason. They prefer oxygen to carbon but have much more drama with oxygen and nitrogen

Oxygen was kind of artsy and a little mean. Hates being tied down to too many people but gets really tight with one person and rarely gets close to two people at the same time. Lots of drama and blow ups.

Nitrogen is kind of a slob. Really indecisive but despite that he holds stuff together well but also blows up relationships because he’s always a little stressed.

We don’t talk about boron.

Fluorine is psychotic. Chloride is its sister but she’s nice (as long as she’s not center stage.)

Fluorine hate’s literally everyone.

Neon is a stoner who has a billion dollars in savings and mostly doesn’t notice others exist

I could do the entire periodic table because the columns are like family trees with age. And the orbitals were kind of like neighborhoods and cultures.

I TAed that class after the second time because the personalities mad it all make sense and easy to remember.

I could look at a molecule and be like, “oh, that bitch is not going to be happy.”

It bugs me when learning is memory. Learning is most engaging and enjoyable to me when it’s interactive. If I do x something like y happens which can also cause z. But also interactive to me means gossip material. I love metaphors and stories and judgments about how well something does its job. If the human spine is trash, that’s memorable. I’ll remember why it’s trash better than neutral facts about it. The mitochondria powerhouse thing sucks. Let’s talk about how it’s a physical motor made of meat bits and why cyanide fucks you up so bad. Both facts have helped me remember how it works because it’s juicy shit.

Sorry I’m rambling but I love it. It’s like finding out how magic tricks work but it’s not even a trick, it’s just how life and minerals got cobbled together and the path of least resistance in most cases. And it helps keep your knowledge consistent because it’s emotionally supported not just raw memory. It gets that part of your brain that thinks, “oh it’s this tricky bitch. I know she’s up to something.” Or, “oh, it’s her. She’s cool.”

Something I've noticed, and I want to write this up more formally at some point, is that a lot of the students I teach- mostly college freshmen, but some upperclassmen taking anthropology classes as a gen ed requirement- are far more interested in human evolution when it's framed as a story. Specifically, they don't care about Australopithecus afarenesis, they care about Lucy and Selam. They don't care about Homo ergaster/erectus, they care about Nariokotome Boy. They don't care about the Laetoli footprints- they care about the anonymous Australopithecus adult and child who made them.

I've noticed this take a sharp uptick since the pandemic. The students are so much better at learning when the thing they're learning about is couched in empathy. They're far more interested in narrative and emotion than they are in basic scientific fact, and that's what leads them to further inquiry. They don't care about when Neanderthals lived, but they care about their funeral practices, about how they appreciated beauty, how they took care of each other. They want something to care for, not just about.

I wonder- are other social sciences taking this approach? Could this approach be taken in harder sciences like chemistry and physics? Certainly biology could easily be framed with empathy.

More and more I'm seeing posts about how students are resistant to learning, and I have to wonder how much of that is information overload and how much of that is an inability to understand (on the professor side) how kids want to take in information. We're competing with TikTok and Youtube and all of these other platforms that give them chunks of info with catchy hooks and sounds. How can boring old facts compete? They can't. The old way of lecturing is dead at the undergrad level, quite frankly.

But that doesn't mean students won't learn or that they don't want to learn. It just means you have to tell them a better story. Students crave connection. They want to make sense of a world that... doesn't make a lot of sense sometimes. If we want them to think and write and engage, we need to give them the tools they need to connect with the world on a deeper level.

I think we'd all be better off if we took the time to introduce a little wonder and a little empathy into each of our lectures.

[biggaybunny]

The universe is weird and doesn’t make sense. You get yourself a crapload (technical term) of energy and some dimensions (exact number debatable) and just leave them there. You come back and your energy has gotten a bit clumpy, it’s all quarks and electrons now I guess. Sure. You leave it a little longer and the clumps get clumpy and now you got protons, and some neutrons, and electrons. You see the pattern. The clumpy clumps get clumpy and now you have hydrogen and helium, and you’re like, oh cool. That’s probably as clumpy as its gonna get, right? So you leave it and for the longest time (at least one of the dimensions you had lying around) you’re right. And then what does it do? It forms GIANT clumps MILLIONS OF ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE LARGER THAN THE PREVIOUS CLUMPS. Like, OKAY. SURE. NO MIDDLE STEP THERE. Just, fuck you, your universe has stars n-- oh what the fuck is happening in there. Nuclear fusion? What the fuck is that! Where did that come from!

But whatever! The result looks mostly the same. Sure there are fucking photons now, whatever is up with THOSE things, and all sorts of other asinine particles you don’t remember seeing before, but you’re still basically dealing with the same clumpy clump-clumps you used to, just in more varieties. You get like, lithium, and carbon, and oxygen, but what’s the big deal. Oh, the big deal is now SOME OF THEM ARE MAKING CLUMPS. There’s that middle step that MAYBE SHOULDA SHOWN UP BEFORE HUH? So now you got MOLECULES. And you have STATES OF MATTER. You had those before you guess but you didn’t really have any need to distinguish them but for fuck’s sake now you got ROCKS and boy are those bitches CLUMPY. I mean the way they ORBIT STARS is kinda nice. Pretty, right? And like, this is clearly gonna be the new status quo. It’s not like these weird rocks are gonna produce anything weirder, right? Right??

Well guess the fuck what!! SOME ASSHOLE PUT WATER ON A ROCK. FUCK, RIGHT? And there’s like a crapton (technical term, different than crapload) of carbon down there (what the fuck!!) and carbon is like the most clump-loving bitch you’ve ever fucking seen and it makes all sorts of crazy fucked up molecules down there in the water. THAT’S RIGHT BITCHES ITS TIME FOR ORGANIC CHEMISTRY. So guess what! Some of those molecules down there are fucking UNIONIZING on you. And now they’re REPLICATING THEMSELVES. Think about that. That’s not in the fucking instruction manual. That’s not supposed to happen. Quarks didn’t do that. Particles didn’t have the fucking audacity to do that. Not even stars did that shit (not exactly, there’s this thing, with novas and nebulae-- its a whole thing just trust me). Oh, and APPARENTLY some of these things are INCREASING IN COMPLEXITY which is just a whole load of bullshit (technical term again, sorry). Like, what!!! That!! Is!!! Illegal!!!! You can’t just do that!!! Sure there was sort of a progression of states up until this point but it was more just a shuffling around of things, okay technically they’re not violating the rules but you definitely think you need a referee in here because this clearly wasn’t intended.

And before you even fucking know it some of the clumps of molecules (so, clumps of clumps of clumps of clumps of clumpy energy) are fucking OBSERVING this whole state of affairs i.e. the universe and THEMSELVES, a bunch of particles that KNOWS its a bunch of particles and part of the universe and how the fuck are you supposed to handle that situation you literally just started with energy and dimensions man, energy and dimensions, where in that equation was there room for poetry and canned goods and laughter and generational wisdom and buttons???

You realize you ought to put some pants on.