#i think that's why i like tales so much. the medium is different

[doom-dreaming]

not to completely whiplash back to borderlands for a second, BUT. I'm continuing my nail art retrospectives on my sideblog and thinking about how fun it would be to do nail art for Atlas-redesign TFTBL Rhys and THAT got me thinking about how I'm disappointed in BL3 again.

Rhys was one of the least egregious character mistakes in that game, in my opinion, but they still kinda fucked him up, huh. Atlas Rhys at the end of Tales had become genuinely more confident in himself and his companions. He'd Gone Through Some Shit and come out the other side different. Yeah, he was still a himbo and a doofus and made bad jokes and thought he was cooler than he is, but there was actual character growth. And then in BL3 they downgraded him back into being an overly-nervous, in-over-his-head, scared of a papercut comic relief character (in a game OVERFULL of comic relief, for the record. depending on your version of comedy) instead of acknowledging the depth he'd had. I guess that's my main complaint about BL3, the character work felt pretty one-dimensional for 90% of the characters. And I know I'm asking a lot from a franchise like Borderlands but the issue is they CAN do it and HAVE done it before and then failed to keep doing it

idk. I'm stirring up dormant opinions about games I haven't played in at least 4 years. also the aesthetics of his Atlas stuff were better in Tales. and he didn't have a mustache.

[legendaryvermin]

What if No Gold?

If you've talked to me about game design before then you may have heard me talk about how much I hate two things in TTRPGs: Gold and Trad Game XP.

While I may write a post later talking about why, today I was thinking about what sorts of systems you could use to make a fair start at getting rid of gold pieces in your game entirely, and so I'm here with a couple of quick ideas and partial systems that you are free to try out or steal for something yr working on.

Barter Tables

Barter tables are simple, they are a list of the kinds of things a person or community might have or could give, versus the kinds of things they might need. For a simple one: Wandering Knight:

A day's worth of hard tack -> a night's watch A fine weapon -> fine maintenance on all medium and heavy armor Saving them from certain doom -> A true name, used to summon them once for battle against a worthy foe

On the left, we have something the party might have or give, and on the right, something they might receive in exchange. We can already see from this that goods and service are at odd equivalencies. This table needn't be the only set of exchanges available, but it offers a place for us to not only understand this character, but to think about what skills and goods they are likely to have on them, and how they fit into our world, and build off of in the future. Here's another:

A Reputable Inn:

Nothing -> A thin broth and a bench in the main hall to sleep on Fresh ingredients -> A fine meal and a private room A Golden Trinket -> A fine meal, a private room, and the attention of pickpockets A well told tale or song -> Food and beer, trinkets and tack if you're lucky Breaking up a fight before anyone is hurt -> a well packed lunch and extra supplies for your departure A well-woven tapestry -> Fine food whenever you are in town, and a favor from the owner

Discreet Value Matrix

This is a fancy way of saying that depending on certain factors, we might be able to assign a specific value to different kinds of objects to help decide how much you get for them. Imagine a few axes for this kind of matrix, all with possible values between -10 and 10:

Quantity

Scarcity

Utility

Magical Endowment

Age

Beauty

You could use these values to figure a rough value of something based on the condition of not only the object, but also the environment of the thing. Let's take a normal sword as an example. When seen by a warrior, a sword might have the following value:

Scarcity -> 2

Utility -> 7

Age -> 6 (it's new)

But to a farmer it might look more like this:

Scarcity -> -5 (I do not need this)

Beauty -> 2

What you do with these numbers (adding them, just comparing them) doesn't matter as much as having a consistent way to identify how much a person or group needs something, and potentially makes for some very interesting trades:

Let's say our party needs a magical relic that is in the possession of a local town. to the town the relic has the following value:

Scarcity -> 10 (there's just the one)

Age -> 10 (it's been here since the town's founding)

Utility -> -3 (there's a rumor it's cursed)

Beauty -> 5

Magical Endowment -> 10 (it's clearly magic so come on, can't get something for nothing)

Now the party doesn't have the time to do a side quest to help this town with the skeletons popping out of the graveyard, but they do have two things the town needs: weapons (to fight the skeletons) and food (there was a blight on the crops, maybe related). Through some negotiations, the players trade the following to the town:

Spears

Utility -> 5

Quantity -> 4 (enough for the toughest townsfolk)

Scarcity -> 7

Food

Utility -> 7

Quantity -> 8 (it's all their but the party has a druid that can create food)

Scarcity -> 7

It's pretty quick to do napkin math on what makes a fair trade for the facilitator, and the party gets to go on their way knowing that they're eating nothing but roughage for a couple of days.

[filmnoirsbian]

hope yr doing well out in the physical world! realized i havent seen much of you around. i was having a conversation with a dear friend on indie horror and its use on childhood abuse and stalking of women and if there's an over saturation of these stories (and if that's the case why are these stories being used so often). we talked for hours about it and i thought "wow, i would love to hear joan's take" (yr a favourite of mine for horror opinions so i thought id give you an ask)

What an interesting question...personally, I don't believe there's such a thing as an over saturation of themes or types of stories. I think you can have 100 different stories about the same theme made by 100 different creators and you'll still be able to get something new from each one. Whether or not they're all objectively well done can be debatable, but I certainly think they shouldn't stop being made just because a similar story already exists. Nothing is new under the sun and I think that can already give creators some unnecessary anxiety because they worry that their version won't be "new" enough, and tbh I think that's silly! I myself love mommy issues horror in particular. I've consumed tons of those stories and I'll keep consuming them until I run out because it scratches a particular itch for me, and even if one doesn't really hit for me, that doesn't mean it won't hit for some other mommy issues bitch out there.

Now onto childhood abuse and the stalking of women in indie horror...which I think is kind of an oddly specific niche considering both of those broad themes have been present throughout mainstream horror for centuries, because people have always been horrified by the real life dangers posed to children and women, two of society's most vulnerable demographics. Think of fairytales, in which children are so often victimized, or vampire tales, in which women are so often stalked, groomed and preyed on. These are both foundational staples of the genre. That they seem more prevalent in a current medium (independent horror films) to you is likely because you and your friend have been gravitating towards that medium in particular.

The reason for their longevity into the current day is because these are, sadly, often relatable experiences. Statistically, 1 in 13 children experience abuse in the U.S., to say nothing of the rest of the world. One billion children globally are estimated to experience sa, to say nothing of all the other types of abuse that are so prevalent. In 2019, 3.4 million people in the U.S. aged 16 and up were victims of stalking, with women and girls making up the overwhelming majority. It's human nature to want to see our experiences reflected, even if in a fantastical way, and perhaps especially in that way. Until the abuse of children or stalking of women becomes less common, I think these types of stories, told across all genres and mediums, will continue to find an audience.

[songwolfwildblogs]

@toffeebrew so I finished it.

(One-shot under the cut)

Y/n had left the utmv Fandom a while ago, they had entered THAT side of the Fandom. The side that every Fandom had. The side that made Y/n feel horrible, the constant worry of being judged had ruined the fun but that was years and years ago. They had grown a lot in that time, lost the friends they thought would judge them and over time they forgot about their time in the Fandom but then… they came across a TikTok of the silly guys they fell in love with and it all came flooding back… they remembered how these little guys were what got them into art, but they also remembered the toxicity.

Y/n approached the Fandom cautiously at first only going through their old art and reminiscing about Their aus. They started scrolling through TikTok and started seeing utmv content then when they got sick of TikTok they went to Tumblr and there the hyperfixation was reignited. They fell in love with the characters all over again absorbing all the info they could but they also remembered something… ink.

Would he be mad? What would he think about Y/n abandoning him? ….

What the hell is Y/n thinking? Ink isn't real! Well… ink and everyone still felt real in Y/n's heart.

The doodlesphere was less active than the early years but it still was buzzing with activity, Ink as usual was bouncing around while reading the newest au list, it was from a new creator! It wasn't exactly the best, but that doesn't matter!

Ink has the philosophy that: an au always means something to someone even if it's one person it has a place in the doodlesphere!

Ink couldn’t help but smile and put the au up in the doodlesphere. He moved back into the center of the doodlesphere and took in the aus surrounding him. Suddenly Ink heard a voice, ink has always heard creators while they work but this was a voice he had missed… Y/n! He was practically jumping up and down while skipping around

Ink immediately went towards the au that was being worked on, a theatrical Tale, ya the name was a mouthful but eh. Ink appeared in what appeared to be clip studio paint, which wasn't the art medium Y/n used to use but it has been years so they must have improved a ton! They were redesigning the sans and papyrus of the universe First, the sans was wearing black sweatpants, and a black hoodie as well as a pair of gloves. Papyrus was a completely different story, dramatic carvings laced his now much more armor like battle body, a lance laid on his hip and there was a note pointing to the get up saying “Not real, would be a risk to actors.”

Y/n was mumbling along to a random song, ink couldn’t really hear it but he assumed it was either an emo song, mitski, a musical, or MARINA since most creators seem to like those.

Ink couldn’t contain himself anymore, he used broomie to draw in the reference window. “Y/N!!!!!!! Hiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!! It's ink!!! I'm so so so so so so so happy to see you again!!!!” it took a minute For Y/n to notice, of course, while drinking some coffee which made them cough, which made Ink chuckle. Y/n seemed nervous as they spoke “ink?! Holy fuck. I… uh… I… fuck. Hi?” Y/n's nervousness was barely picked up by ink but Y/n was one of the few people he could read slightly, he didn't know why but he oddly got Y/n somewhat they just kind of clicked. Ink erased what he wrote then began writing “what's wrong your seem nervous” Y/n sighed before continuing as they placed down their cup and continued to draw “It's nothing really, it's just… are you not mad? I left for so long… I basically Abandoned you and my aus.”

Ink was mildly surprised but shook his head not like Y/n could see him, yet again he used broomie again, writing “I'm not mad! I'm so happy you're back! I missed you a lot! Also I love these designs so far!”

Y/n smiled softly and shook their head even after all these years… ink never changes.

And that's a good thing in a way… because in the end he'll always be there to help. Always be there to info dump too. Always just… excited to help with the creative process. Even if Y/n knew he couldn't technically feel emotions It didn't mean his emotions were less valid.

Ink was a friend in a sense even if he wasn't in Y/n's reality… he was still a friend

[teddyclara]

Fragaria Memories Red Bouquet Ep 1 Thoughts

I'll be using @kanatajelly-tl's translation of the voice drama. You can find it here!

Everything is under the cut!

So the Strawberry King is missing and then the SEEDS came into Fragaria World. Obviously connected

I mentioned this in a previous post, but the Strawberry King is a real Sanrio Mascot. He looks like this

(Stolen from the wiki) (Tumblr fucking up the quality)

He's the ruler of the Strawberry Kingdom, which, apparently, has 7 other children that dress like him

They're referred to as angels (??), and they debuted in 1975. Interesting how the story is using this guy as a figure and saying "lmao we don't know where he is". Anyways, history lesson over

Kinda interested in how the abilities of the knights are going to play out here. Magic is obviously a factor, but we don't know too much about how they use it. It's a limitation of medium used for the story, though maybe we might see it in the MVs.

Hallritt appears to be the least experienced knight among the cast, although given how he one-shots a SEED despite having never seen one before means he's likely Really Cracked at fighting. He also dodges the ambush of the other knights pretty well.

Merold caught me off guard like, really hard. I actually looked up his introduction because I was like "wait did they say he was Like That?" and yeah, he's just Like That.

Actually, he's so funny. Making himself home in Romarriche's place and eating his candy. He does seem like a massive piece of work, especially given what he says to Hallritt in the preview for the 2nd ep

He seems to just sort of have this condescending attitude to others, which his feats only exacerbate. I can see why Kurode was so upset and ran away.

Now I'm going to talk about the topic that caught my attention first, the SEEDs

Apparently, their main abilities is that they are able to cause things to disappear.

In the Voice Drama, they were making produce and shop items disappear, but the opening narration notes that they do this with people.

Also like how SEED's actually bloom, that's a cool feature

Anyways, I wanted to state my theories about how the story will unfold.

One of the big theories floating around is that this is a Madoka Magica situation, and the story is a time loop. This is based on the music videos that were released prior for each Bouquet. You can find them here, here, and here.

That said, after learning this information about the SEEDs, I don't think there's a time loop at all.

There's absolutely a loop, but I think what's happening is that everyone is forgetting what truly happened in the past as the SEEDs keep making everyone's memories disappear. There's a lot of emphasis on the past, even this Drama mentions it in regards to a legend of the Fragarian Knights of the Red Continent's past, but I think that they are just a different flavor of the main cast. It's just that everyone keeps repeating their choices because they're stuck never knowing or learning the mistakes of their past.

Maybe. This might be debunked hard when the 2nd Voice Drama drops. But who knows.

Anyways, those are my thoughts for the Drama. I hope there's more worldbuilding because the fairy tale-esque setting of the series is just appealing to me.

[artist-issues]

I know you have kind of commented on this topic in one of your posts, but what do you think of the fact that Tolkien hated Disney and thought of Walt as a "con-artist" (if I remember correctly) because of how much would be changed? Even though I very much love Disney movies, considering how Tolkien studied mythology, folklore and history from other cultures in-depth, particularly those of European background, I do understand why he was not fond Walt's work at all if we view it from his perspective. Other people seem to share a similar sentiment. I ask you because you often analyze Disney movies and their themes quite in-depth. This whole thing is interesting.

Well, I'll preface by saying I'm not much of a Tolkien apologist. I don't connect with him or his mentality as well as I might flatter myself by saying I do C.S. Lewis' mentality. C. S. Lewis had this beautiful way of blending genuine good-faith enjoyment of something and careful, intentional critical thinking. He could be a reasonable analyzer of media, and a childlike consumer of media, at the same time. Don't know if I've mastered that myself, or if I ever will, but I really admire it.

Which is besides the point, sorry! 😂

But Tolkien was different. First off, Tolkien said some things about interpreting the meaning of his own stories that I don't agree with. He keeps insisting he wasn't trying to "say" anything with Lord of the Rings, or infuse it with any particular "meaning." Truth of the matter is, though, that is not true of any good storyteller. What they believe about the world bleeds into what they create, if they're creating genuinely. So Lord of the Rings is about how small decisions matter, doing what you can with what you're given instead of trying to control everything matters—whether Tolkien likes it or not, whether he was always conscious of it or not, that's what his story says.

He also criticized weird things to criticize about Lewis' works. For someone who was Lewis' friend, I don't know how he could've looked at what Lewis was writing and been surprised, or disgruntled, at the hodgepodge of mythology in works like Narnia. I don't know what made him think a "children's story" would feel like anything other than...made for children.

But anyway. All that to say, I don't always agree with Tolkien, or feel like I understand him. His response to Disney movies is just one of those things I don't get. I can speculate, but I don't know.

Like I said, I think he was so used to thinking of fairy tales and literature in a way that is much...higher, and more layered, than how the everyday layman thought of them, that when a Kansas cartoonist started retelling fairytales without any apparent grasp of that layering, it really rubbed him the wrong way.

I guess it would be like if someone came along twenty years from now, pointed at Disney's The Little Mermaid, and said, "look! A cartoon about fish! I'm going to make an TikTok dance about fish and call it 'The Little Mermaid,' and retell it that way!"

First of all we'd be like "IT'S ABOUT SO MUCH MORE THAN FISH, it's not just an CARTOON, are you BLIND?!" And then secondly we'd probably go, "and what? A TikTok dance?! Are you kidding me? You want to take this beautiful pillar of traditional animation and living color and musical mastery and drag it down to the level of middle school girls flapping their hands around cringily??"

That's probably how Tolkien felt Disney was treating Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Because back then, the medium (TikTok dances, animation) was just associated with sort of lowbrow humor and silliness. Walt was still inventing the whole "animated film to be taken seriously" thing. And back then, Tolkien would've seen the comedy characters of the Dwarfs and their character development as very shallow in comparison to the mythos of Dwarfs in literary and oral-tradition history. He had the most background knowledge. So what he was comparing Walt's movies to was, for him, like comparing grape Gatorade to aged Italian Wine.

As far as Disney being a "con artist..." yeah, I think that's a little bit of a stretch. He was definitely selling something, but if you can look at Walt Disney's life and see dollar bill signs, instead of a guy who genuinely made what he liked because he liked it, you don't know much about Walt Disney. He didn't adapt fairy tales because he thought they could make him money. He adapted fairy tales because he adored them, just like he had a train in his backyard because he adored them. Ask his brother Roy how much Walter "Let's Invent Smell-O-Vision and Drop Flowers on the Audience of Fantasia" Disney was thinking about exploiting the public for financial gain.

Like I said, Tolkien was responding to Walt Disney because he was Tolkien, and it would've been like asking a Bird to relate to a Krill. They were way too different to ever understand each other on the level that either of them preferred being understood at.

[genericpuff]

I’ve been wanting to try a hand at making comics since I think it’d be the best way to tell some of my stories- but the thing I tend to have the most trouble with is the actual layout and composition of panels.

do you have any tips/tricks or resources that might help me get a better understanding on what to look out for, think about, or even just start? I’d really appreciate it!

That's something that'll just take time and practice, honestly :'0 Sorry that's probably not a very satisfying answer but there's a reason why the answer to so many "how do I get better at xyz" questions is "practice" LOL That said, there are ways to help you practice, I think in the case of composition and layout the best way to do it is go read other comics! See how they set up their panels, how they vary them, how they push the limits of the boundaries of the panel and page to emphasize characters and speech bubbles, etc. It also depends on what kind of story you're telling, as composition is just as much a conveyer of information as the characters and art. Different genres and mediums of storytelling will use different compositions to reflect that.

I'm gonna use BONE as a starting point. It tends to have pretty easy to read panels as these books are meant for all ages and the art is designed to be easy to read-

-but they also get fun with them sometimes:

BONE tends to focus on per-panel art pieces so it just makes it look a lot nicer than if they had cut the panels up individually when they let the previous panel operate as a backdrop like this.

And then there's shonen manga, which tends to be way more focused on action and movement, so the panels reflect that. You'll find a lot more panels cut up into unique shapes to convey movement and action in manga like Naruto and Berserk.

And then you get REALLY crazy shit in stuff like Tales from Alderwood where the characters break the panel line entirely on a regular basis.

If I can use some of my own pages as an example, here's stuff I've done with my own compositions:

Really it's just treating the page as a composition, and each panel is a different aspect of that composition. Narrow down what your goals and focuses are when it comes to depicting a page, and look at other works that are the same genre/medium as what you're doing, there's tons of inspiration you can get just from reading alone :)

[cuubism]

If you don't mind me asking - what do you think Dream's attitude/reaction towards Tolkien's works (including the legendarium!) would be? (I'm asking a lot of Sandman bloggers this, because I'm extremely curious regarding your takes on this.)

oh! hang on i gotta brush up on my tolkien because i haven't actually read any of the books since like. 2011.

i guess my main thought would be about how dream missed like, 95% of his work when he was stuck in his Jar. my understanding (read: google search) is that tolkien was building up the mythology for his stories before 1916 (when dream was captured), but most of it was not finished/published until a while after.

(this became an insane and mostly unrelated rant i am so so sorry)

i think a lot about how much of his own... area of work and power dream missed when he was trapped. the 20th century, generally speaking, was a time of rapid growth in storytelling methods and media more generally. dream missed almost all of radio, particularly radio as it became a medium for stories. radio was invented in the late 1890s but didn't see a proper rise into a storytelling medium, rather than mainly a direct communication one, until around the 30s. so dream missed the creation and growth of the first, i guess you would call it, networked storytelling, and technological storytelling, and what was... probably? the biggest return to an auditory type of storytelling since the original oral tradition, folk tales, great epics etc, for radio at its peak of cultural relevance (at least in the US and probably the ""West"" more generally, alas i can't speak as knowledgeably for other parts of the world, obviously plenty of other parts of the world had radio in the early 20th century and onward, but i don't know much about its use as a fictional storytelling medium versus for news and government broadcasts. something to look into! part of why radio became such a medium in the usa was because of our rampant capitalism and commercialism lol, so less capitalistic places might have approached it differently - here, advertisers wanted to figure out a way to monetize radio better, but obviously people aren't going to just listen to hours of ads, so they packaged them around stories, live music performances, and variety shows. that's where soap operas as a form come from -- they were originally sponsored by soap companies! also serials, though of course books have also been serialized in the past. and sponsored radio programs also birthed the sort of episodic comedies that eventually evolved into the half hour TV comedies we know today)

which also means - as a direct result of missing radio, dream also missed the rise of television as a medium - it grew directly out of radio, even the big networks we know today, CBS, NBC, and ABC were originally radio networks. television has ended up being a huge change in visual storytelling, not only in its inception, but especially in its more recent years - it's probably the only long-form audiovisual storytelling medium, which is something that didn't really exist before. huge shift in storytelling possibilities. he also missed the development of comic books, and the internet, and the resulting increased accessibility of art and storytelling to both artists and art lovers. he missed an absolutely huge, HUGE shift in the democratization of art and the ability to share it. and, once again, the development of totally new methods of storytelling in the form of internet video! not to even mention the accessibility of MUSIC, music recording and sharing was still in its infancy when dream was imprisoned and now you can get, and make, and share pretty much any music imaginable! and the new genres! and the intermediality of everything and the cross-cultural awareness!

this is not even getting into the new ease of photography, or film, which was also relatively new in 1916. imagine going into a coma when there were only silent films, and waking up to everyone and their mother making tiktoks. the last film you saw was one of chaplin's or something and then you come back and see interstellar in imax 3d. i think i'd explode. (dream would love film, too, it's very dreamlike)

dream returning to the waking world in 2022 and immediately having the entirety of tiktok beamed directly into his head:

(another thing i think about a lot but won't get into because i'm already rambling - hob witnessing the entire development of accessible writing from the printing press to fucking social media. insanity. i want to pick his brain on it

what pushed hob over the edge, do you think. what's the one thing he saw written online that briefly made him regret ever getting involved in printing at all and wish everyone was illiterate again. it was not porn, btw, mr. monsterfucker gadling can handle anything, ok. no, it was something much worse...)

anyway. rambling over. this is all to say that i am not a tolkien expert and haven't read much of his stuff anywhere recently - though i was quite obsessed with it in middle/high school - so my main thought is in relation to dream getting cut off from all of these great stories. it must have been like, to put it flippantly, your favorite tv show getting cancelled halfway through after a cliffhanger XD. he has all these stories from great storytellers - tolkien included - storytellers who are building their whole own worlds in his realm, storytellers he's nurturing and supporting in his own way - and gets ripped away from them. and when he returns, they're all gone.

here's hoping someone who knows more about tolkien can give you an answer more specifically relevant to that. that's all i got for now 😂

[prince-koda]

Heard

Steven Grant x Reader with some Marc Spector x Reader

Word count: Under 400

No warnings, just self indulgent fluff if you can even call it that.

First person with no pronouns or description of reader’s looks

A/N: Super, super short and self indulgent stream of conscious blurb I did as a warm up. I haven’t really written anything but essays since high school. Don’t expect much, this is literally nothing

Sometimes it feels like the only time I know myself is when I’m watching or reading media made by others… I’ll read a story or watch a movie and it opens my eyes to ideas and themes that I’ve either never thought of or often think about; it’s the closest I feel to being understood. I can say something a million times, but it’s the artistry of a film or the eloquence of a novel that make the ideas real.

Media since the dawn of time, even back when it was only just orated tales, has always been able to draw at so many parts of the human psyche. It alters the way humans perceive the world — both literally and metaphorically.

The desire to be heard and to make others feel heard is what’s drawn me to an assortment of mediums — although the patience to master any medium has yet to be found.

But when I met Steven, I felt different.

Steven has a way of making me feel like I can do anything, his star-filled eyes never making me feel lesser for my inability to declare my thoughts and feelings. It definitely helps knowing that he also struggles with feeling heard and getting the right words out. Perhaps our common anxiety over saying the correct things as to not be misconstrued is what drew us to one another.

Steven never laughed or made fun of the jumbles of words that would always fall from my lips when I felt like I couldn’t find the right way to get my thoughts across; I never did the same to him. Why would I?

While Marc didn’t rant and rave about things the way Steven and I do, the anxiety of being annoying quickly dissipated after he began bringing up little things here and there that let me know he was listening. Even when he acts like a hard ass all the time, he pays attention.

Laying in bed with them and being able to spill all my thoughts on why some random book is so great or what a movie could have done to better tell a story, they listen.

It feels good to be heard.

[ink-flavored]

Introduction

BTS Series: ⬅ Table of Contents - Reworking Pride ➡ Also available on Neocities! P&J Taglist (Check out my Google form to get added): @elegant-paper-collection @auroblaze @zeenimf @vacantgodling @foxys-fantasy-tales Banner art by @auroblaze

Those of you who have followed me from the beginning of my fanfiction career will know that I’ve always loved writing Alternate Universe or “AU” fics. Taking characters we all know and love and plopping them into completely different settings and scenarios has always been more fulfilling to me as a writer than sticking within the confines of canon. That’s why something like the AU-gust 2022 Challenge was so much fun for me to do��it’s already something I’m familiar with and enjoy.

However, the big downside of AUs is that it’s much easier to lose focus of the characters the story is supposed to be about and end up writing original characters that happen to look the same. I’m plenty guilty of this. Though I always appreciate my readers telling me how strong my characterizations are, when it came to Pride & Justice, the fic I wrote for Day 9 of AU-gust ’22, I really felt myself deviating. The piece was short, written in a single day, and within the constraints of the Angels & Demons prompt, so it didn’t bother me too much. What did end up bothering me was how much the idea stuck in my head, shouting for my attention weeks after I’d written and posted it. When concepts linger around for that long, I know I can’t just abandon them to rot.

The thing is, I knew right away I didn’t want to make it a full-fledged multi-chapter fanfiction. To quote my own AO3 author’s note, the characters I wrote were “OCs in blorbo meatsuits.” Trying to turn something like this into a fanfiction would feel disingenuous—it’s not what my fanfiction audience is here to see, and it’s not fair to my creative drive that clearly wanted to write something original, but would be constrained by the flimsy barrier of fandom that I forced it to uphold. Really, I don’t think it would have held up as a fanfiction. I decided to take a different route, and begin the process of turning it into an original idea for a novel.

A lot of people disparage fanfiction writers turning their ideas into original works, and I think the reasons for outcry are often misguided. Yes, “filing the serial numbers off,” the most common method for publishing a fanfiction as an original work, consists of doing very little outside of changing the names of the characters and some light editing to make sure the plot stays the same. Yes, fanfiction and genre writing are different mediums with different rules. While fanfiction can be structured the exact same way as an original manuscript, it’s very rare. But fanfiction is a genuine artform, a medium for telling a story. Just as a book can be adapted for screen, or a movie can be adapted for the stage, a fanfiction can be adapted for an original work. You just have to treat it like what it is: an adaptation.

I thought I would document my process here, give you a behind-the-scenes tour, of how I’m turning Pride & Justice: the fanfiction into Pride & Justice: the novel. You may have already seen hints of this on my Tumblr, but I’m going to go much deeper than moodboards and backstories here.

You can find every entry in the behind-the-scenes series documented on Ko-Fi for a $6 donation, for free on Neocities, or here on Tumblr!

[4lph4kidz]

7, 17, 27 and 28 for the writing asks? :3

thank you for asking!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

i like the excitement of ideating and making connections between those ideas, seeing the project start to take shape. i like the later stages where i'm polishing what i've got, making sure that the language conveys what i want it to and that the whole thing flows well. enjoying the middle part... is more difficult.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Mmmmh. So, Bound in Ink and Iron was initially supposed to be a pretty light affair where i played with fairy tale tropes, but i ended up going into more typical dark fantasy territory because i love that genre so much and i wanted to embrace that. i made a lot of notes and planning about the setting because i wanted to feel like i understood the world, as it was really important for me to accurately capture the outlook of an analytic and self-assured character like dirk. i have way too much to share everything here, but i have extensive notes on the magic system of that world bc i can draw on canon's power system and themes pretty easily. Excerpt of those notes here:

Magic is a force in the world that many people can tap into, but powerful magic is something a select few are born with or are able to wield in a meaningful capacity - Homestuck is a chosen one story in a sense and its world is not fair. Power is something that comes to you with a price. Everyone taps into or channels magic in a different way - the idea of classpects, mechanics and role and character tied together, people can have different affinities in a figurative sense. Characters may prefer certain techniques or materials - magic as an almost artistic medium, but more than that, an expression of self. It is very difficult to try and learn magic 'someone else's way', though its possible to imitate. As POV character Dirk is someone with a relatively scientific, technical approach to magic - he prefers to inscribe patterns, craft objects and follow rituals - and while he has an intuitive ability to sense magic presence, he struggles to wrap his head around or understand forms that are created with methods and approaches unlike his own.

When it comes to fic, i like AUs because i like worldbuilding and trying to imitate and play with different genres and i like having room for original spins on stuff. i do like minutiae, even if much of it never makes it into the story or is disregarded as the plot demands. i'm a major perfectionist and if i'm too precious about it it can be counterproductive in the long run, you know? if it was an original work i would be more thorough, i think, but this is fanfiction and i want to get to the finish line more than i need to make my most perfect magnum opus.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

jake is stressful because i feel like it's very easy to mischaracterise him in fanwork, but i worry about writing jane the most. i have feelings about her handling in canon and post canon, and would find a different outcome vastly preferable, but i also don't want to reject canon or erase her complexities from her completely!

i also generally stress about characters that are secondary or tertiary in my fics because i feel like i've not given them the same consideration i would the characters at the center of the work? sometimes the main focus necessitates putting the incidental characters in a less than optimal position in the work, and i don't really like feeling like i'm not doing them justice.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

i have a lot of fun with jake, despite aforementioned concerns! i like the character a lot and i'm told it shows. he is delightful, to me.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Let's Love Him, Together

Words: 2,321

Character: Hatake Kakashi & Nohara Rin

Pairings: Kakagai and GaiRin

Back home the palace garden is giant.

There’s a huge pond in the center with a maple tree towering so high that Rin had once believed her mother's tall tales of it reaching all the way up into the clouds. All types of flowers grew in the endless garden. Hydrangeas, wisteria, spider lilies, tulips. Those were only a small selection of the flowers she could recall growing up beside. 

As a child she had found it easy to get lost in the garden for hours, just running around trying to identify all of the different plants that were growing there.

Standing in the middle of this other, much smaller, garden, she wondered if there were more than five plants in the tiny plots that surrounded a medium-sized pond.

“It’s…” she searched for the right thing to say, but none of the descriptors that came to mind were appropriate.

“Small?” the prince’s knight stepped up to her side. The entire walk to the garden he had followed behind her, directing her with short, quick instructions until they’d made it outside. Now that it seemed to be just the two of them, though, he stood at her side tall and proud.

Something that none of her guards would ever think to do.

“Small is a good descriptor,” she turned to face him and grinned. With him saying it she couldn’t be considered rude for simply agreeing. “Has it always been this small?”

“As long as I can remember, yes.” Rin raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t particularly odd to hear someone who worked in the castle say something like that, especially a royal guard. Something about the way he said it felt off, though. Rather than it being a simple statement of fact, there was a fondness in the words.

An emotion that she could only assume was attached to good memories, and while she hoped her future husband didn’t make his knights and servants' lives difficult she couldn’t imagine why any of them would hold such fondness for a place he would likely never have spent time on his own. 

She knew it wasn’t her place to ask. As the prince’s future wife, she was still an outsider to the kingdom. Someone with no power outside of her own kingdom until the day she and the prince married.

Still, she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. After the marriage was completed she likely wouldn’t have a lot of time alone with the royal knight. He was Gai’s dedicated knight. The one assigned to protect the prince and no one else. His presence at her side without Gai was a rare opportunity.

One she simply couldn’t ignore.

“So-” she tried not to look his way, but she couldn’t help but glance to her side when he didn’t respond right away. “How long?”

The knight arched an eyebrow.

“How long has it been,” she clarified. “You’re about my age so, if this kingdom follows the same rules as mine you have been a knight since you were eighteen which would be…five years.”

“Seven,” he answered. “I was knighted at age sixteen, but that’s not what you’re asking. What you’re asking, I believe, is how long I’ve been in the castle,” cupping his chin between his forefinger and thumb, he glanced up to the sky. A thoughtful look if she’d ever seen one. “Well, almost all of my life really.”

Rin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It wasn’t that it was out of the ordinary for servants to live within the castle, but there were always certain areas that were reserved for the royal family.

The garden was one of those areas. Only the gardener was permitted entry, or on special occasions, the servants of the castle would be permitted into the area to celebrate with the royal family.

“Ah, I’ve confused you,” he offered her a smile. “Sorry, allow me to elaborate,” stepping forward, he pointed to the single bench positioned just under a large maple tree that resembled the one in her own garden back home. “Choza-sensei used to hold out lessons there when it was nice outside.”

“Your lessons?” she frowned, growing more confused with each word he said. ‘You mean-”

“He would teach the Prince and I, yes.”

Wrapping her head around that information felt impossible. All of her life Rin had only shared her lessons with her siblings. She had friends among her servants just as Gai did, but she’d never have been allowed to share lessons with them.

Her parents would have laughed at her if she even suggested such a thing.

“Your Kingdom certainly is-” Once again she found herself searching for the right word. Something that couldn’t be considered insulting, but nothing came up. 

“Strange?” the knight offered without hesitation. “Peculiar? Bizarre?”

Thinking about it, Rin nodded. “Yes, all of those.”

“You’re not the first to say so,” stepping to the side, he motioned toward the bench. A simple but obvious signal for Rin to take a seat. “Choza-Sensei himself argued against it, but the King insisted.”

Following his lead, Rin took a few short steps forward, turned to face him just as she reached the bench, and lowered herself onto it. 

As soon as she was sitting down, a strange feeling washed over her. A comfort that she hadn’t experienced since she first stepped onto the ship bound for her future husband’s kingdom. 

It was as if this spot, with all of its history, was telling her that she was safe.

That somewhere in this new, confusing Kingdom, she had somewhere to relax.

“It’s his favorite spot,” the knight continued, his voice full of tenderness as he looked upon the tree hanging over them. “Once a day he comes out here to relax.”

Rin frowned, suddenly feeling like she was encroaching on someone else’s space.

“No, please,” the knight protested when she began to stand. “I brought you here for a reason.”

Tilting her head, Rin felt her brows furrowing toward the center of her forehead. “What reason is that?”

“Well,” he paused, a thoughtful expression settling into his eyes as he stared at her. “I was hoping that it could be your place too.”

Rin’s brain screeched to a halt. “M-my place?”

“Yes,” he confined with a sharp nod. “You’ve been here for a week now and not once have I seen you relax. At least, not until just now.”

A week. For an entire week, he had been observing everything she did so closely that he’d picked up on her discomfort. Rin would usually be impressed with his observation skills if she wasn’t so upset with herself.

She was a Princess. From the young age of five, she had been taught how to stand, how to talk, how to present herself to others with confidence and calm, and most importantly she’d been taught to never allow her annoyance or stress to show in public.

Only one week in and she’d failed miserably.

“You’re stressing again,” the Knight spoke, a kind smile greeting her when she looked up at him. “Take a breath. The flowers may not be numerous, but they smell wonderful.”

Doing as he suggested, she closed her eyes and drew in a deep, calming breath. Immediately her nose was filled with the aroma of crisp autumn leaves and hydrangeas. Her concerns seemed to drift away with each passing moment, the scent pushing them off to the side until she could hardly remember what had been bothering her so much.

“There,” opening her eyes, she couldn’t help but let out a little puff of laughter when she saw the knight smiling at her. “That’s why he likes it here. He says all of his worries seem to wash away whenever he sits under this tree.”

Thinking about it, Rin chuckled. A real, proper laugh this time.

“Are you sure it’s just the tree?”

Now it was the knight's turn to look confused. “I don’t- I’m sorry?”

“The tree is nice,” she explained. “The garden is small, but calming. A good place for someone to collect their thoughts. But that’s not all there is.”

“What else is there, then?”

“You,” his eyes widened with shock and Rin found herself laughing more. The Knight who had been nothing but calm and collected since the moment she met him was suddenly overwhelmed by one simple word. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way he looks at you, or how he’s always asking for your opinion even though we both know he doesn’t need it.”

She had noticed.

It had been impossible to ignore. Every moment the two men stood in the same room together, Gai was always focused on his knight. 

Anyone with eyes could see that the Prince was in love, and it was not Rin who had won his heart.

“I- well…” Panic began to set in, his eyes darting around the garden. Searching for prying eyes that might use this information against him or the Prince. 

Jumping to her feet, Rin reached out and took hold of his arm. “Deep breath,” she repeated his words, grinning when he stared at her with fear in his eyes. “You are calming for him. Your presence is good for him, and I assure you I have no intention of doing anything to take it away.”

If she’d had a problem with it, she would have rejected the marriage as soon as she’d realized. Her parents may have been annoyed, but they would have understood. The choice was always her’s to make and they’d assured her of that from the moment they began negotiations. 

“Anyways,” turning back toward the bench, she smiled. A small smile shared only with herself as she thought about the life ahead of her. There was still a lot for her to do before the wedding. Adjustments she had to make to her new life, things she had to learn about the castle and the people who worked in it, and time that she needed to spend with her future husband.

After all, his heart might belong to his precious knight but it was her that he’d be sharing a bed chamber with. She had her place in the castle and the Prince’s other attractions wouldn’t stop her from fulfilling that place.

“You belong here,” the Knight spoke, his words striking right at her soul where all of her fears were kept so perfectly hidden away. “It took a long time for him to choose someone he could be happy with. Someone he might come to love one day.”

Her smile grew as she listened. “And you think that’s me?” 

“I know it is,” turning to look at him, she couldn’t help but gasp when she saw the tenderness in his eyes. “You say he loves me, but that feeling is not one-sided.”

“Then…why-”

“Because you’re good for him,” he answered without hesitation. “You’re good for this kingdom. At the end of the day, regardless of how I may feel, my duty to the kingdom and my Prince comes first.”

His emotions radiated off of him.

Love.

Devotion.

Determination.

Sadness.

“No,” she whispered, unable to ignore that overpowering sadness that seeped into his words. “I’ll only go through with this on one condition.”

It was something she’d never anticipated having to choose. A path that she’d never imagined for herself, even when she’d prepared herself for the possibility of marrying someone whom she would never truly love.

“And?” The knight prompted, staring at her with calculating dark eyes. “What is your condition?”

Stepping forward, she smiled up at him. “You love him.”

“I…” his eyes narrowed. “Don’t understand.”

“Love him,” she repeated. “Behind closed doors, where only the two of you and I know what is happening.”

Realization set in and his eyes flew open with shock. “Are you…you must be joking.”

“Not at all,” she answered with a confidence she’d been missing until this moment. For the past month as she prepared for her journey to the new kingdom, and thought about the impending wedding, she’d fretted that her marriage would end up like her parents.

Devoid of love or devotion, but full of duty.

There was nothing about her parent's marriage to be ashamed of, but it wasn’t what she wanted. An unhappy husband who would rather spend his time hiding away in the library, or entertaining guests, was not what she envisioned for her life.

“You love him,” she repeated. “And you tell me all about it so that one day, perhaps, I can love him as well.”

Two lovers. A Wife and a Knight.

It may not be the perfect arrangement for others, but Rin knew it was the one that would work for her. 

“You’ll love him too,” The Knight assured her, tenderness returning to his eyes as he thought about the lover that they shared. “And He’ll love you too.”

Rin laughed at that. “I should hope so.”

“Without a doubt,” the Knight responded with the same confidence he had shown since the moment she met him. “He loves kindness and sincerity above all else, and you are both of those things and more.”

“You barely know me, dear Knight.”

“I know enough,” he assured her. “And it’s Kakashi.”

Rin tilted her head. “Kakashi?”

“My name,” he answered. “It’s only right for you to know my name if we’re to share a lover.”

Kakashi. 

It sounded like a perfect name. A name full of dignity and respect.

“Then from now on we’ll do this together, Kakashi,” holding out a hand, she smiled when he stared down at it. “We’ll love him, together. Deal?”

Realizing what she was asking, he reached out and grasped her hand. It was something no one else would dare to do, and which he would never repeat where others could see them, but a small action which he granted her in this moment as they sorted out their futures.

“Deal.”

[fallenlondonreviewed]

The Path of Blood and Smoke

While minding your business in London, you are hunted down by an enigmatic Tomb Colonist. He claims you are part of a bigger prophecy and enlists your help to save the world from a malicious ritual conducted by a surviving sect of the Third City. As you travel to the northernmost corners of the Tomb Colonies, a bloodstained tale about betrayal unfolds.

My Rating: ★★★★☆ Community rating: none yet A gripping, gloomy, self-contained ES with a charming travel companion and an ending that left me thinking about it long after it was over. Main Focus: Third City, God Eaters Secondary Focus: Tomb Colonies

Spoiler Free

Opening

Who should play it? How does it begin? Will my character feel out of place?

You are approached by someone who reveals to you that you are the center of an ancient prophecy. Why? Who knows. But the fate of the world depends on your sudden role as the Chosen One. So you decide to investigate, if for nothing else than curiosity’s sake.

This has to be one of the best openings to an ES I’ve ever seen. Every character, no matter the background, will have the same, bewildered reaction. This isn’t like so many other ES, where you wonder why your character would ever engage in this story.

Spoiler-Free Review

I had quite a lot of fun with this ES, despite its gloomy nature and lack of humor. It’s medium length, and I played it comfortably with two candles without running out of actions. 

“The Path of Blood and Smoke” delves deep into the human-sacrifice culture of the Third City. Betrayal is the central theme of this ES and it pulls through the entire ES beautifully. Every choice you make asks “do you trust this man or not?” Every possible ending draws hugely on the theme as well.

From a lore-standpoint, it doesn’t disappoint either. The backstory of the God Eaters is never explained, but one gets a very good grasp on the kind of fear they ruled with. Since I recently played Haunted By Stairs, it felt great to meet the priest-kings again.

This ES is suited for characters from all walks of life who don’t mind a little violence. Especially SMEN-players and historically inclined characters will have a blast here. However, if you don’t like blood or are looking for a happy ending, you’d be well advised to skip this for a while.

The writing is solid and easy to follow, but never gets too abstract. Mechanically, the ES is structured very linearly (you follow a road most of the time), but I didn’t feel like it took away from the experience. Every step came with a broad variety of choices, so I was never forced to do something out of character. It also kept up the tension and excitement, and I was looking forward to every next step. 

This is an all around very good ES, and if the Third City is something that interests you, it’s a must-play. You get a good amount of content for your Fate, and a charming story as well.

Additional Thoughts (Full Spoilers)

The entire ES is a tug-of-war between trust and betrayal, and in the vein of the God Eater’s backstabbing nature, trust won’t be rewarded here. There is no feel-good ending to this one.

However, I liked how, regardless of your decisions, you always have access to three options to resolve it: The moral high ground, the morally neutral one and the violent one. Their difficulty varies depending on the choices ahead, but it doesn’t lock the player into something they’re uncomfortable with.

And every single ending comes with layers upon layers of betrayal. There is a karmic justice at work here which plays out slightly differently in every ending, and I love it. It’s like a prism of betrayal. Needless to say, the endings are my personal highlight, and I could fill a whole other blog-post just ranting about them.

Depending on the choice at the finale (and if you succeed or not), the God Eaters have been strengthened or weakened, which is rather huge in the grand scheme of things. Although, as with any ES, London won’t change much. We’re only just left with the knowledge of what we did and that somewhere, far up in the North, old schemes are set into motion. 

The only downside to the ending in my opinion is that it comes rather abruptly. It moves us from a menace-area right back to our lodgings, with no time to pick up the pieces. I personally would have loved to wake up at the site of the climax and have to stumble back myself. That way, the high tension and emotion would have cooled off more naturally. 

Aside from the ending, my other highlight was the Lace-Wrapped Emissary. He is the only character in this ES, and therefore gets a lot of attention. The author does a great job in setting him up as his own person – he is a bit socially awkward, tries (and fails) to cover up his own nervousness, and is in over his head himself. Yes, he’s a backstabbing bastard, but a very likeable one. A problematic fave. Though I understand everybody who wanted to inflict untold harm on him the second they met. 

The ES does him a bit dirty by making him sus from the very beginning. Yes, it plays into the theme of trust vs betrayal, but the twist would have been more potent if I hadn’t distrusted him right from the beginning. 

Community opinion seems to be overall good. The only points of critique are the ending, that doesn’t impact London, the fact that we are randomly chosen and the soft railroading.

Though, especially to the second point, I have to counter that us being lied to and picked at seemingly random plays into the betrayal, too. After all, the God Eaters don’t need someone special. They just need their prey to struggle. 

Credits for "A Path of Blood and Smoke": Writing: Luke van den Barselaar Editing and QA: George Lockett Art: Erion Makuo

Link to the FL Forum

[go-go-devil]

14 & 16 ?

14) Describe your feelings on Disney’s animated film catalogue (and/or Pixar as a separate studio and as a conglomerate of the Disney corporation)

As much as I despise Disney as a company, I can't deny that their films were a huge part of my childhood as well as a major player in developing my undying love for the art of animation. I'm mostly talking about their older, 2D films, as their 3D films I grew up with really never stuck w/ me as closely and I admittedly haven't even a new film from them since Zootopia back in 2016

With Pixar my feelings aren't quite as complicated. Their 90's and 2000's output still remain some of my favorite 3D animated films of all time (except Cars simply because it never really make me feel anything for it, good or bad). Yet after Up came out and they were forced to do a bunch of sequels after being bought out by Disney I stopped caring about their film output, especially since their style of 3D animation became homogenized to the point where it looked no different from a Disney film. I could rant about this further but I don't wanna turn this into an essay...

Anyway, here's a list of my favorite Disney films in no particular order: Alice in Wonderland, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Mulan, Robin Hood, Fantasia, The Lion King 1 & 2

And here are my favorite Pixar films also in no particular order: The Incredibles, Monsters Inc., A Bug's Life, Toy Story 1 & 2, Finding Nemo, WALL-E (though I will admit as of late I feel this film has a few serious issues that hampers my enjoyment of it)

16) Are there any animated films that you think deserve to be in the Criterion Collection? What is your overall opinion on their current collection of animated features?

There are dozens upon dozens of animated films I think should be in the Criterion Collection because quite frankly their animation catalogue is still a sad joke

Like I'm glad that there's at least more than 3 films inducted into the collection now. I'm glad that they have recognized Lotte Reniger's and Suzan Pit's work as well as many animated works outside of America, England, and France. But good gods they're still SO MUCH that deserve to be in there!

Where the hell is Akira, one of the most influential anime of all time?

If Watership Down is (rightfully) in there than why not also The Plague Dogs, an equally beloved adaptation of Richard Adam's work?

Caroline Leaf was one of the pioneering filmmakers for Canada's National Film Board, so why aren't her animated masterpieces featured in here?

How come none of Yuri Norstein's films aren't on there despite being one of Hayao Miyazaki's greatest influences and the fact that Tale of Tales is still considered by many to be the greatest animated short film ever made?

I mean fuck where's Princess Mononoke or ANY Ghibli film for that matter?!

(Also for those curious the only Disney/Pixar film in their collection is WALL-E, and it's one of the seven animated films that are available in their dvd/blu-ray collection..)

It's just so depressing to me because many people still consider the collection to be a stronghold for the some of the most important works of film ever made. The fact that so little animation is featured on there feeds into the lie that mature, thoughtfully made animated films are a rare find, as well as the idea that animation as a medium is inherently less valuable than live action films, and that pisses me off to no end >:(

[foxbox23232]

God even cares about your tiny fingers.. isn’t that so interesting? She also told me on the 3rd day I would be healed and I was. And another thing… It was a what 1/1,000,000 chance that I got saved from suicide? 1/10 she guessed the right finger? 1/50 chance she guessed the right day I’m healed? You guys really have no clue lol the things that go on on a daily basis with me and God and my spiritual mom. And I just love it so much. I sit there and take it in and never want it to end. It’s like a fairy tale come true. It’s so interesting to me. And Gods people always win. And he will always love you and protect you. And Gods people truly do love you like no other people. It’s a different kind of love. It’s like everything ive ever wanted in life.

Also the anointing is not cheap at all… my spiritual mom had to sacrifice A LOT and obey God A LOT in order to receive this kind of prophecy. I truly do believe everyone is capable of seeing angels and demons but it will cost something. And typically God doesn’t gift people until they’re ready because he knows it would scare people too badly. He wants people fully healed and armored and prepared until that day. I think typically this is why only prophetic people are this type of highly gifted. This is also not the same as being born a medium or psychic. Those people typically have to get healing and they do not remain that way.

[its-a-hil]

answering everything for this ask game

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect? there are. a number of them. flare (clark powell, for homestuck) magilou's theme (motoi sakuraba, for tales of berseria) electricity forecast (inabakumori, really everything by them is just. so good) 14.3 billion years (andrew prahlow, for outer wilds)

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)? how hard teaching is :/ idk it's difficult to process anything else when im having a fulltime job for the first time in my life -_-

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home? yes absolutely i need to wear something comfy and soft and unrestrictive so like. leggings and a t shirt. having to wear vaguely formal clothes to work is nice for my self esteem but they are absolutely not home clothes at all

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with? not at the moment but i want to!! new year's resolution is to buy/make a necklace with 30 lunar phases and wear the appropriate one every day in 2024

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them? i have an older sister, we're extremely different lmao i guess we're both academically inclined and like reading fantasy, but that's like. it. though we are both currently getting our masters degrees from the same university so that's neat

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does? i guess… seeing something that was more beautiful than i expected? that's very vague hold on one time i was walking home from my office hours as a ta after a student had held me late these were evening office hours, so like. it was 2230, i was not dressed for the cold, i was annoyed at the student but but as i was passing a little field of grass, there were little ice crystals on the blades in the light of the streetlamp, as the wind was blowing the grass and i was walking past it the grass glittered i cant think of a better way to describe it but ive never seen anything like it since it completely made my day so yeah. that's my answer

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else? hm idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i feel like inside jokes usually just become part of my vocabulary

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is? fiction i think it's because im much closer to being good at writing than i am to any other art form so it resonates more with me since i can feel/imagine its creation in a way that i cant for music or visual art also sometimes i read my own past writing and it eats me alive

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you? it's associated with my name obv, since it's just a pronunciation guide but it's also associated with my avi edits, which are wonderful and make me feel great joy

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot? oh absolutely also not at all past me and present me both had/have an absurd inability to compartmentalize, a large degree of silliness, and a general love for the world the main difference is that ive… done more things

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again? not quite a movie or a book but. katanagatari. i really liked it but also it is so fucking slow i tried to rewatch it a couple years ago and i couldnt bc it was just so wordy

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired? it's quite easy to tell if im upset or tired i feel idk if theres a difference between them just like. looking at my eyes. also i take pauses when im tired/upset. also my voice is just. god. unsure about a tell for whether im happy though im not very in tune with my emotions to be able to tell that at least with other people if im by myself ill stim and the cadence/type of stim makes my emotional state obvious but who ever sees that

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts? things that encourage me to do something i want to do but need the motivation for my college friend group does a yearly gift exchange and a couple years ago i wished for earrings as motivation to get my ears pierced (it took me another 9 months but. we still did it girlies !!)

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life? hm. failure? failing a class, or having a relationship break down, or tripping and getting myself seriously injured just. something that reminds me how ubiquitous loss is, that forces my brain to accept the fact that it's okay to not try to be perfect

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless? aranea homestuck!! something about the way that she knew that the game over timeline would break, did her best to avoid it, and everything fell apart anyway the part where she kisses jake and is like "wait why are you freaking out?? i know you like me this was supposed to encourage you" is just. she's doing her fucking best and putting her all into saving the timeline and yet everything she's doing is hurting and she doesn't know why also the part where she snaps and mind controls damaras to smash planets together in a desperate attempt to kill the condesce. so important. love her idk if she even counts as a villain but the story hates her so. it counts for me

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on? haha… "decorated"... that sure is a word…………

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with? oooooh answer !! god. tales of luminaria was so fucking good!! (this was the trailer theme, and it was honestly the first thing that clued me into the fact that the game would be amazing)

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about? i guess for a general hypothetical person, i'd tell them how i have a teaching job now, how i have to manage a horrible curriculum that's just. extremely pedagogically unsound i'd also tell them that i went to la over the summer and got to see my 2nd space shuttle orbiter, that i don't yet live somewhere with public transit but that day is growing ever closer and im so excited