#i think that's what gave me this realization yknow
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Thinkin about names and how to me they're kinda like clothes, some I would not be caught dead in, some are like, fine, but they don't really fit, some are like those old sort of worn out shirts with sewn up holes in the sleeves that fit comfortably around you for years and years, and sometimes your whole style changes and it's time for something new. And it's not necessarily like that old comfortable shirt is gone, it's still there and cozy if you want it, but right now you have this new thing that fits better. And sometimes you change your style a lot, and that's okay. Sometimes you get comfortable in one style and stay that way for a long time, and that's okay too.
#this got really long winded but ykwim?#i was thinking about how ive been going by rook for a long time now#and usually i change my name every year or so#but rook has felt fine for a while. and like.#it's not even like it's MY name yknow like. it's mostly an identifier i wear#which is fine its comfy#names are something i wear and if im gonna wear something for an extended period of time its gotta be comfy!#and like. in twitch chats i like being called peppermint it gives me the same sort of euphoria as being called rook#i think that's what gave me this realization yknow#peppermint is just another shirt i wear in a different place and it feels nice there#from the lark themself#pride#gender#sort of
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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thinking about fallout 4 against my will
#random thoughts#fallout#unfortunately nora compels me#the fact the 'hi honey!' tape specifically mentions her 'shaking the dust off' her law degree is interesting#like she gave up her job to stay at home with her husband and kid. why?#like that's a whole year. at LEAST.#love the idea of nate pressuring her into it <3 maternity leave turns into 'isnt it so nice being with sean around the clock?'#'too bad you won't have this quality time when you return to work'#turns into 'you can always return to work if you feel like it but we DO have a lot saved up . . .'#and it's like. okay so fallout 4 would be so much better if it were set in the 1960s. literally no reason it shouldnt be#yknow beyond complying with lore which. it isnt that faithful to in the first place#i just think it's weird the game is like 'here's the FUTURE' and then it's like 'here's the FUTURE FUTURE'#anyway make it the 1960s. give me time-appropriate fucked up family dynamics#and nora's a laywer and a feminist who promised herself she'd never compromise her career for a man#and nate seemed so NICE and like he understood until uh oh. frog in a slow cooker#and he makes everything seem like it's her idea until she's barefoot in the kitchen with a screaming baby on her hip and burnt food in a pan#and she doesn't even realize she's trapped until it's too late. isolated from friends and family#idk ill do more research later to make it more time-accurate (ESPECIALLY interested in second-wave feminism)#anyway i think she cheats. with a door-to-door salesman selling places in the bomb shelters#(honestly probably the only adult social interaction she's had in weeks beyond her husband)#i like to think at some point she had a bit of a car accident due to the stress so nate took her keys#probably just a minor fender bender he blew out of proportion but she believes it because oh god what if she hurt sean#her feelings toward sean are complicated. i dont think she quite loves him which she feels guilty about so she overcompensates#with trying to keep him as safe as possible and she feels like he KNOWS and HATES her#(honestly when the bombs drop everything happens so quickly and when she's in the future and registers sean's gone she feels. so relieved)#(followed by heavy shame)#nate sabotaged her birth control btw. love evil 1960s patriarchs#never outright stated but heavily implied!#anyway nora in the future (while she felt very progressive for her time) feels very out of place#like her ideals have no place. like she has no place
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Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and pre-emptively empathizing with the nonsense you are no doubt being flooded with and the psychic damage it must be causing. Keep stanning the king ignore the weirdos <3
thankg u.,, i feel like ive been trapped in a fuckign . Torture Labyrinth these past coupl days . but. wwe will. We Will Yet Persist onwards w/ our hand on the left wall till we;re either out or at the center i swear 2 fucking GOD,
#talking tag#asks#th pain is forever the Horrors r unending the lack of media comprehension on all sides is Disappointin But Also My Goddamn Life I Guess lol#though i will say ppl in my inbox have actually been.. surprisingly polite overall? if not outright rather kind as a whole. um. post-atsv.#but. god. i have not Talked About so much of that movie because i kind of just.#..ok actually i realize this is gonna sound rude as hell lmao. but. hhaha i Kinda Just. was fool enough to Assume that everbody would yknow#like. Comprehend The Film yk yk yk. since it is a well-written movie that doesnt try to Hide any of what it;s abt? yk?#i come On Here onto tumblr dot bumblr and i make my stupid esoteric gddamn complaints abt 2099 Themes for Me Only so my head doesnt blow up#n silly ol me i really do like earnestly honestly in my Heart think. like. we all saw the same movie. right? mayb thingsll calm down.#but oh oh oh oh oh no no no No No. they do Not calm down they get So Much Worse.#and now hypothetical Internet Strangers might be Passing Judgement bcuz we look like an Apologist 4 assuming Everyone Knew Media Literacy#CHRIST. do people think i think mig was. like. In The Right. in atsv. no ive known he would be Wrong for years dudes.#why do yall think i was so low-key Disappointed he was placed in a role that couldve better suited. like. Superior Spider-Man.#public image. DING-DONGs. man he is Never Going To Be In Movies Again After This Hes An AU SPIDER-MAN FROM THE 90S. LORD!#i had SO MUCH FUN watching atsv!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont like the choices it made to put miguel in the situation that it did. Bizarre Thematic Changes to 2099 that Only I Care Abt. but like#that is SUCH a fuckin SMALL and insanely autistic nitpick like i earnestly loved the hell out of the film and its mig is--#--Earnestly One Of His Better/Best Adaptations despite bein within the limited confines of th plot nd setting he is In & w/o his inner mono#..i just. Hate So Much That This Movies Version Of Miguel Will Be The Only One That Anybody Knows For The Next Seven Years At Least. yknow.#i lov watching that fuckers trainwreck of a slowmotion mental breakdown for two hours but the movie gave practically Zero Context 2 newbies#BTSV please save me BTSV please save me BTSV PLEASE save me PLEASE please please please PLEASE BTSV youre my last hope....#(arthur clenching his fist meme) ppl r Already so shitty 2 ppl w/ Messy Symtptoms i could Handle losing MK but SM2099 means too much 2 me..
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Is it valid to get mad at your significant other for something they didn't do but that you feel could realistically happen or do I need to calm down
#i had a vision this morning where my fiance and i had a kid amd i made dinner for everyone#and the kid didnt like my dinner and i was like okay but you have to eat it i wont make anything else and its good for you#and then (still in the vision) my fiance said 'you dont have to do what she says go microwave a hot pocket'#and the fact that (in the vision) my fiance didnt appreciate the fact that id cooked and contradicted me in front of our (imaginary) kid#made me feel super disrespected and upset lmao#cuz he does sometimes not eat the food i cook!! granted its usually cuz theres something in it he doesnt like but it still hurts#like you could at least say 'looks good but mushrooms make me gag so im gonna have pizza' yknow??#i also read a very long comic last night about unequal division of labor in homes and household management#and just all the ways that (usually) men dont even realize their (usually) wife keeps the house together with like preventative care#and i tried to get my fiance to read it but he gave up after a couple of panels cuz he thought i was accusing him of smth :(#im gonna try again when he didnt just get off a shift where he had to clean up a dead body i think#anyways hope nobody read all that i love my fiance and he tries#its just hard to get him to understand why i get frustrated sometimes#amd it goes both ways im not faultless either#we try :')
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i remember the first time ever i listened to SO i was like pfft rap? get out. (i was cringe) and then when i gave it a listen again a few months later i was a changed person... so i binge listened to their entire discography immediately and was genuinely shocked because how could ALL of their songs be bangers, like i couldn't believe it was possible it was surreal........ i wish i could turn back time (lol) to experience that pure shock again
#and the funny thing is i was in denial abt liking them for some time#i couldnt afford a new hyperfixation in that specific year#and i remember thinking to myself 'lol their music might be good but they're probably ugly its okay i wont like them'#(I WAS A TEENAGER SORRY FOR MY MENTALITY)#so i searched them up on pinterest and guess what i saw. the blurryface photoshoot#i kind of glitched and realized i was fucked#but i still tried to deny it and avoided looking at their pictures for days#but i eventually gave in and looked up videos and interviews and random facts about them#i was like SO stressed out abt this like i would get in trouble if someone found out i like them ahjdkdl#mind u in my country hardly anyone knows who they are#i made peace tho and then i fully embraced becoming a clikkie#technically im a hiatus clikkie#and one of the biggest concerns in my life then was the question of 'ARE THEY RETIRING WHY ARE THEY GONE'#idk looking back its so funny#this was in 2017#OH and one more thing#i was born and raised a christian and still was at that point (now i am not)#and all my life my mom would heavily censor stuff that would come across as 'devilish' or even mildly offensive to the christian religion#yknow even harry potter#so i had this irrational fear/anxiety abt stuff like that wired in my brain as well#so when i saw the hds live vid on youtube (the official one with a ton of views)#i got sincerely worried they might be some kind of devil worshippers or something 💀#them having a song called heathens did NOT help#off i went to google their religion and... the relief i felt when i found out they were christian lol#btw my mom did freak out over heathens when she found out 💀💀#i wont go into detail but she did give me trauma when she learned about the dema storyline too............#i still dont play lore videos when she's in the room 🥲🥲 thats why im lowkey jealous of clikkies with clikkie parents#okay story times over lol#tøp#nemotakeit
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I just read a whole wacky thread of people arguing which parent was bad Garmadon or Misako and I’m no longer scared of the Misako defenders
#shoutout to the one person who was going on about how garmadon was bad for LETTING LLOYD GET DRAFTED??? HUH???#they had a whole bunch of essays about that and everyone just had to ignore it cuz wtf were they on about#their argument kind of just turned into Everyone Is Bad Cuz They Let Lloyd Be A Ninja#and like. sure? but that’s just (LIKE THEY LITERALLY SAID) bc of the writers not realizing the implications. so it’s irrelevant#cuz it applies to EVERYONE man so WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS. also why point to GARMADON do u think he WANTED LLOYD TO BE THE GREEN NINJA#WAS THAT NOT LIKE. HIS ENTIRE GOAL. TO MAKE HIM NOT THE GREEN NINJA. applies to Misako too actually#my point is it was SO IRRELEVANT LOL#oh yeah but um the actual post. uh. yeah the ppl defending Misako were literally making stuff up and refusing to fact check#like listen I hella respect if you want to make ur little headcanons that justify her actions a bit more but you CANNOT be treating them as#fact like you literally made that up 😭#it wouldn’t be as bad if they weren’t also making stuff up to make Garmadon look WORSE. like wtf. they were straight up contradicting canon#to say that Garmadon didn’t care or whatever and never even tried to be there for Lloyd LIIIKE#honestly my biggest damning reason I don’t like Misako is honestly the fact that we meet her GIVING A TOUR. THAT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN#UR SON. like sure research prophecy or whatever SHE CLEARLY IS DONE WITH THAT AND IS JUST CHILLIN AT THE MUSEUM LIKE WHATTT#it’s like ‘oh she’s on break’ or ‘oh she’s just earning some money yknow ppl need that’ BUT LIKE. UR TELLING ME SHE HAS FREE TIME OUTSIDE OF#RESEARCH AND SHE CANT SPEND EVEN A MINUTE TO REACH OUT TO HER SON????#a lot of the arguments I saw acted like she couldn’t spare a single moment for Lloyd otherwise it gets in the way of her research when#CLEARLY SHE CAN. bro was CASUALLY STROLLING ALONG THE MUSEUM and just goes ‘oh hey abandoned son’ LIKEEE#Misako could’ve been a better character if the writers like. thought about things a LITTLE MORE. and gave her some depth.#and YOU CAN HEADCANON AS MUCH DEPTH AS YOU WANT ONTO HER. THATS COOL. BUT ITS NOT REAL.#I just think Misako defenders should be less ‘free my girl she did none of that’ and more ‘free my girl she did all that but the writers#didn’t know what they were doing’#like Misako has great potential but they fumbled. rip.
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you ever get an idea that is sooooo. arghhhhh bites into a roof tile and cries.
#zanna talks#i cant like word it good yet#but i think if mia ever got to talk to ethan after he died like either bc he came back or a SOR situation or whatever#that she should be allowed to be a little angry at him for just giving up. not facing the aftermath.#like you went somewhere you knew i couldnt follow. you left because you knew i was still here to take care of rose.#but you left us alone. you left ME alone.#YOU KNOW like not bc he's a terrible horrible person for doing that but bc shes human and it hurt. what he did hurt.#and anger is a stage of grief for a reason you know#i am 110% convinced he was only able to do that because she wasn't there for him to look her full in the face and say i'm leaving#you cannot change my mind on this#not bc hes scared of her or whatever the fuck ppl seem to think. but bc he loves her. and how can you do that to someone when you can see#the hurt and the realization and the grief dawn in their eyes you know#anyway. sorry ive been thinking about this so hard i had to stop reading rwrb#putting this all in the tags btw bc iiiii am scared of mia winters antis here on tumblr okay dont come for me ppl let me chill#let me have my little ideas. let me be.#like mia would understand in a way why he did it bc she did the same thing except it was different then#they could have saved him. or at least they could have tried. and he just gave up#meanwhile mias been living with the consequences and the guilt of what she did every day for years now#YKNOW.
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also omg its so obvious in mile's face how afraid he is of his uncle in both itsv after learning he's the prowler, and again in atsv when he sees earth-42 uncle aaron like he's still afraid of him :( but he also still loves him. its so terribly sad.... :(((
#atsv spoilers#crying so hard thinking abt this like he was still afraid but still he missed him enough#to run up and hug him. to be afraid of someone you love... to be hurt by someone you love so much. :(((#and i think theres many things causing the resignation in miles face in the last shot we see of him#and i believe one of them is the realization is that this uncle aaron from earth-42 cant give him the love that#his own uncle gave him. wait yknow what i have so much to say let me just make a seperate post
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Im gonna complain again cuz if I don't who will. Anyways, my ex and ex friends were heinous fake allies and absolutely awful lmao. Very clear to me now that I was just the "good jew" replacement for their ex jewish friend and as soon as I started breaking from how awful they were treating me they all started comparing me to their perception of that other person. Who probably wasn't even that bad to begin with tbh they all probably pushed them to their limits too with all the antisemitism, lesbophobia, and unhealthy dynamics I dunno. Shit was fucked.
#they even gave me their vinyls when i moved out cuz they thought they were mine....... 💀💀💀 i only owned 1 vinyl that i never played#cuz i just got it for 1 dollar at a garage sale#but like. i KNEW whos the records were bc i knew that person long enough to at least get a sense of their music taste#and know that they owned vinyls#that wasnt even the first time. they gave me hand me downs of the Previous Jewish Friend other times too#that they had left#and like. i took them sometimes cuz. im fucking poor sometimes i could use like a coat or a water bottle or something but#looking back it just makes me feel sick now like jeez#cant tell 2 jews apart??#fucked up#at first i thought it was bc they knew i didn't know them that well to begin with but no. oh no.#they DID think i knew them. they thought i knew them way more than i did... probably because.. hmm i wonder why#could it be bc im jewish :I#LIKE FKCNVJDKX#I LITERALLY#i feel so dumb but like. jeezus#what was i sposed to do#they rlly took advantage of me when i was in need and treated me like a pet#until they got bored of me#and realized i. yknow. am a human being with feelings
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In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3
#vent#oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday?#hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin#just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol#hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often?#laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol#hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps#is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!!#oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!!#like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow#I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!!#now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :)#uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment#I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone#mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it)#anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu#I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my#guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa.#squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou#oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man#2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried#with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah#it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only#gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned#for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new#girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or#emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid#for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much#NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here
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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her
#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type#like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light#though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college 😭#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc#he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him#will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her#pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun#but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head 😭??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting#him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an asshole😭#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao#like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO 😭😭#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult#but rather bickering masked by politeness? like 💢^^) (^^💢 selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince#but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other#sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time 😭😭#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a#expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends#yumeshipping — hajusae [prri]
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personally I don’t hate gray wing nearly as much as everyone else because he’s a great example of having rose colored glasses just because ‘well, he’s family’, and not realizing until far too late that that essentially ruined his life and made him amount to almost nothing. Because clear sky is his brother, he wants to assume the best of him. Surely, my brother would never. Surely he didn’t mean it like that. Surely he’ll do better next time. He’s my brother. He COULDN’T be a bad guy. So he keeps giving him chances, over and over and over again, until it’s completely destroyed him. Until he can no longer breathe, his lungs full of toxic smoke that clear sky abandoned him to breathe in, until he is under his claws, nearly killed under the moonlight, until his people are battered again and again, until borders become inevitable. But he never, ever realizes, because- it’s his brother. Surely, his brother will do better next time. Surely, he didn’t mean it. Surely, he will change.
And believing that is the death of him.
#It was always to my understanding that he died early BECAUSE of the lung damage#And that the fire and leaving gray wing behind was on clear sky. I don’t remember how but I remember it was#Clear sky’s actions got gray wing killed in the end. But he loved his stupid brother so much he was blind to see it until he literally died#Hell. And even after.#Because- they’re brothers. Surely. Hell do better next time.#Like people who keep forgiving their family over and over#Ohhh but hes changed!!! No he hasn’t. He may pretend for 10 minutes but he’s going back after another#but it’s my mom/dad/brother… I HAVE to have a relationship with them… because… yknow… family….#When really the best thing to do when you have a clear sky is cut that fucker off#Because he will slowly drain the life out of you and everyone around you#BUT. I don’t HATE the person who doesn’t cut off their family member#I feel SORRY for them. That they can’t realize how badly they’re hurting themselves keeping this up#So. I don’t hate gray wing.#Clear sky is a bastard and I’d say I hate him as a person tho. but not as a character either#Because he’s a villain and those motivate plot. I know they change their mind later. But I didn’t. I didn’t forget#And I choose to believe the powers that be didn’t either. Given skyclan all dies within the next decade and stays gone for generations#But I guess none of that is CANON text. It’s just also not NOT canon. It’s not an AU au because it like#COULD be why. They just didn’t say one way or the other#Anyway gray wing is really just like. A pathetic wet mop of a guy#Definitely no wise sage#But I do not hate him. I cried when he died at the end of path of stars#I pity that he never got to live a life free of all that toxicity because ‘but we family’.#Like a lot of older. Perhaps religious raised. People I grew up around with shitty family members#No you don’t owe it to anybody no you don’t have to respect thy father and mother if they don’t respect you#You never asked to be born. Etc etc#But that. They gave me something and family is family and blood is thicker than water attitude#Is very common around rural religious areas. Which is. What I think of the clans as. Backwoods evangelicals#ESPECIALLY in the early days#Well. Bulls’ shit is thicker than blood. And that’s what your life is gonna be full of if you stick with toxic people because of blood#Anyway whatever none of this means anything. Just. Saying words
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welp, at this point if anyone in the crowd of Bad Faith People Who Stalk Me And Hate Me Bc Of Someone Else's Compulsive Lying tries to accuse me of antisemitism bc i have a vampire whos a villain in my comic, i'm gonna ask them what their take was on allll of this going on. if its anything like "israelis and/or zionists are all evil people" then ik i never have to take their opinion seriously bc they dont even know what antisemitism means.
#i will listen to jewish ppl if they have any critiques or concerns about him in my comic but the rest a yall. lol. lmao.#if you are right now perpetuating antisemitic conspiracy theories about how jewish ppl are in control of all the money n shit#how can you claim you are less antisemitic than me?#its honestly freeing to realize a lot of internet leftists dont know wtf they're talking about ever.#so now i dont gotta over think if i Am being antisemitic bc yall dont even know wtf it looks like!#i was always so worried about this possibly happening but yknow what ive realized through all of this-#a lot of yall dont know wtf you're talking about at all ever. i was worried about being dog piled but like. why should i be now#you want a reason to hate me regardless. you're gonna be bad faith and assume the most uncharitable thing regardless. why#should i care and try to cater to YOUR- a non jewish leftist's- sensibilities?#just say you hate what i make and move tf on.#stop pretending you have a moral reason. also maybe stop pretending you know whats going to happen esp if my abuser on here#gave you their rundown and understanding of my comic bc i kept so much shit a secret from them to begin with.#why tf would i share all of my comic to them. so they can steal my ideas and/or share it to everyone? yeah i already knew ahead of time#that could be something they do. and i know to never reveal anything that spoils the plot anyways.#even if they're right about the tiny amount of stuff i showed them assume they're still wrong bc they just LOVE mixing truth with lies.#its like. their favorite thing to do.#but yeah yknow if any jewish ppl have any concerns ill listen. everyone else can go fuck themselves though.#dont come up in here acting like you know what antisemitism is lmao.#honestly i should've only considered jewish ppls opinions on this to begin with. but yall really gaslit me into thinking you knew just as#much as they do about antisemitism. and now look where we are. you've revealed you dont know shit and i dont need to take you seriously.#while you spent all this time laid back thinking you Know Better bc you call yourself progressive and think thats all the work you need#to do- i was ACTUALLY learning about antisemitism and conspiracy theories so i ACTUALLY know wtf to avoid in my art#and yall are gonna really try and be bold enough to assume you know what it looks like. you havent done shit. you havent reflected on shit#you think you're already above it all when really you're only a couple steps away from regressing into a conservative.
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Looking at the characters I got on toyhouse's ownership logs and it's making me so curious and a lil bit emotional... Like damn some of my lil guys were owned by someone else for years before they ended up in my hands, what were they back then? Actual characters? A design in someone's ufo folder? Did they have different names? Different stories? When did their previous owners lose connection? It's strange to think abt how old some of them are too, like Brady's toyhouse page is over 5 years old, like I was like 14 when his page was made how wild is that
#rat rambles#oc posting#for brady and sicarius in particular they were owned by the person who made their page up until I got them so I cant help but wonder what#their old ~lore~ was especially in sicarius' case since based on the other art of him he definitely had at least vague lore#also I realized while doing all this that yesterday was my 2 year aniversary of owning melody which is wild to me#heres to many more years to come :}#another funny thing is watching how short some ownership periods for certain characters were#shout out to polly who was owned by someone for two years and then the next person gave them to me for free like a week later#Im not like dissing on any of these owners or anything ofc its just genuinely rly fun to me seeing a glimpse into their pasts#Im very greatful to all the ppl who I got my ocs from especially the free ones#I dont generally go for free ocs anymore but the ones I do have I love very dearly#well I mean obviously midas was one of them rjfnfkd#circling back to polly for a sec a while back their designer commented that they were glad they found a nice home and it made me rly happy#I just rly dont want the ppl who made my character's designs think Im just letting them collect dust yknow?#I get worried sometimes that ppl will see my high character cound and get the wrong idea fjfndjdh
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chuuya dazai and fyodor when reader tries to remove the hickies they gave reader the next day OHKYIGOAHSS
a/n: hiii everyone i have crawled out of my void to offer you this post !! ty to the anon who came up with this wonderful idea. i've missed posting omg and we somehow are so close to 3k despite my inactivity??? slay. shall open reqs again once we get there mwehehe
warnings: slight nsfw
(Chuuya, Dazai, Fyodor) When You Try to Remove Hickeys
Chuuya
he's gonna be the most chill about this tbh
it's your body and if you don't want ppl seeing that on you then that's ur choice!!
however
hiding them is one thing, but that doesn't mean he wants to see you removing them
so yknow that hack where you take a whisk and like,,,twist it over the mark to get rid of it?
yeah so you tried that...and it was actually working until chuuya barged into the room and demanded to know what you were doing
bro is not happy to see the hickies he'd proudly left on you last night being somehow removed by a WHISK
grabs that mf thing and throws it across the room
chuuya's not angry at you, more so frustrated and insecure?? cuz like why would u wanna get rid of them
he's lowkey gonna start pouting tbh. won't say anything else but will glare & give u silent treatment
won't stop until you admit the only reason u removed them is because it was too visible with your work uniform and u didn't want everyone staring smh
insist that he should give you more in areas that people won't see and there's no guarantee y'all won't be late to work <3
Dazai
oh lord
so dazai really loves to mark you up
and last night was no different. your neck was black and blue with hickies
deadass to the point where you nearly had a heart attack when you saw it in the morning
"how am i gonna go to work like this?!" you practically sob to him while he LAUGHS
his only advice is "then don't go" as if both of y'all don't need to have ur asses at the agency in 20 minutes
you check ur phone for the time and when u see this you panic and sprint to your shared bedroom
you try everything you can think of to cover them
first you hastily layer concealer on your neck, to no avail as the marks were too dark
then digging through ur closet for clothes with a high enough neckline to hide it, to which you found none
whole time dazai is leaning against the doorframe, watching ur meltdown with an amused expression
he approaches and helps u up from the floor where u had collapsed with all the clothes strewn around you ☹️
"allow me to pick out something for you to wear" ….oh god
u guys are beyond late at this point so you sigh and accept defeat, to which dazai picks a shirt that of course displays all the marks on your neck
you got lots of stares that day to say the least
Fyodor
surprisingly fyodor doesn't usually leave too many marks on you to begin with
he's got that old fashioned take where it's like "other people don't need to see that and be in our business" if u know what i mean
however, he is also a very possessive man
^so when he gets worked up and does leave hickeys on you, the last thing he wants to see is you trying to hide or remove them
which is exactly what he walked in on u doing today
you were trying the good old "rub an ice cube on it" hack before u had to work
now this mf thinks you have some hidden agenda as to why you wanted them gone
"are you seeing someone else" 💀💀
PLS u didn't realize he had been watching from the doorway and this scares u so bad u drop the ice cube down ur shirt
u start frantically trying to get it out of ur shirt while yelling at him like "i have to work, wtf are u talking about???"
u immediately stop tho when he storms up to u and grabs your face to make you look at him
his face is so cold and unreadable omg it's scary
his eyes shift to the marks on your neck as he traces over them with his fingers
"leave these alone" he says lowly, then adjusts the collar of your shirt so they are partially covered
neither of u will say anything more about it after that, but fyodor sends sigma to secretly follow u to work to make sure that's where ur really going 😓
taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @mianqo
#bsd x reader#bsd x y/n#bsd x you#bungou stray dogs#fyodor headcanons#fyodor x reader#dazai smut#dazai headcanons#dazai x reader#dazai imagines#chuuya headcanons#chuuya x reader#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#bsd dazai#fyodor bsd#chuuya x y/n#fyodor x you#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#chuuya x you#fyodor x y/n
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