#i think that’s the shortest word on there!
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Thanks for this! It's explained what's going on really well.
Word of comfort to Germans from a British person (... OK I know, not a point in my favour, we Brexited like idiots, you're generally doing better than us. But still!):
This post sounded kind of familiar. I couldn't help but compare it to the fun and games we had a couple of years ago, where Liz Truss (a broken AI made by the ghost of Ayn Rand) got voted in as Prime Minister... and broke both the economy and the government within two months.
Quick highlight recap of that time:
Truss quickly releases an unfunded, unresearched budget that was basically her personal wishlist to Economics Father Christmas. Short version was that she was going to cut taxes, cut taxes, and cut taxes- especially for the wealthy- and pay for national infrastructure with Blitz Spirit(tm) and pixie dust. This budget immediately blows a £40 billion hole in the UK economy (because investors everywhere decide the UK's gone utterly mad), which in turn triples some people's mortages overnight.
As you can imagine, this makes her rather unpopular, including with her own Conservative party. She's been so much of an incompetent right-wing dickhead that the 'incompetent right wing dickheads' party are looking at her like "hey, hang on, what the fuck are you doing!"
TLDR Our economy has lost the plot and the government is infighting.
About a month after this, Liz Truss fires her loyal chancellor that she had, up until that point, presented a united front with. It's blatantly to try and save her career. It doesn't work.
Liz Truss disappears from like, her job. At one point a senior Conservative MP (Member of Parliament) has to insist the house of commons that 'the prime minister is not hiding under a desk'.
This all culminates in a vote, which may have been a vote about fracking or may have been a vote of confidence in the Trussterfuck's premiership (even Conservative MPs weren't sure), that immediately descends into mania. Multiple major political figures resign. There are reports of MPs in tears. There are reports of MPs being physically manhandled to the voting queue by Truss loyalists (and, oh, we do not do amateur dramatics like that here!). Liz Truss herself misses the vote because she's too busy trying to talk a senior staff member out of resigning. A Conservative MP tells BBC News that the whole thing was 'a disgrace the party can't come back from.'
A few days after that, she was out. Just two months after being elected prime minister. She's officially the shortest serving Prime Minister ever (the next shortest died.) It's wild, unheard of. British politics doesn't work like this. This kind of unhinged political chaos doesn't happen to us.
... That was two years ago. These days? We're... OK.
Don't get me wrong, we have a rising far right just like you do (where doesn't these days), and our new government is better but not amazing. It does feel more stable here though than it has in years. Some things even seem like they might start getting better! Truss' bullshit blew over, and we got back to normal.
Also, there was 100% a point where The Trussterfuck got so awful it looped back round to being funny. Once politics really loses the plot, sometimes all you can do is laugh.
... Anyway that point of this is that Germany will be fine. Political chaos isn't always doom, and based on what you've said about the way your government works, it sounds like this will sort itself out. If Scholz can fire Lindner, anyone can fire anyone, and that in itself makes a far-right takeover way less likely. Unless a convincing AFD majority is a real risk (which- I might be wrong but I don't think it is), everything will work itself out, and you'll get to have a bit of a laugh in the meantime.
Good luck- you might need to buckle in for a bit- but definitely don't panic or despair!
Okay alright sorry for all the sudden German politics influx but lemme explain what happened so far and why Germans are losing it a bit:
The tldr? Our government is getting a divorce and it's turning messy with elections being called early and now being called even earlier.
The longer version?
Okay so, groundwork first:
in Germany there is a coalition currently in power called the Ampel(traffic lights) bc the colours of the party are red, yellow and green (or not anymore or for much longer??). They're centrist slightly more left leaning than right leaning. (You could argue about that I am aware). There has been infighting for as long as this coalition has been going on. It is also the first three party coalition since y know, the Last Time.
So. Enough groundwork. The yellow party (FDP) has a finance minister (Christiane Lindner) it's this guy
You will see him in memes I am sure. We don't like him. He's an asshole and has blocked every meaningful change that the coalition had been trying to accomplish. He also got his finance plan blocked by our highest court because parts were against our Constitution.
(.... I am oversimplifying hard here it's actually more complicated than that and not fully his fault, but it's also not the focus)
What WAS the fault though of him and the FDP was that they had a strong position of "saving money at all costs" which made bigger and bigger rifts with the two other coalition partners who were more leaftleaning. The war in Ukraine, Infrastructure, climate change - there were many places that needed more money and Lidner was like naaahhhhh for no fucking reason other than "oh we need to save money!!"
Long story short there have been arguing all the fucking time and therefore have started to lose approval. Drastically lose approval. As on for the first time since the Last Time there is a far right party in charge for part of the country that is also being investigated for being Nazis. (Oversimplifying again).
Which is. Worrying. You know. Especially with Trump now being elected. It has us all a little skittish.
The finance minister has also now been fired.
You see. We were all still trying to stomach Trump winning the US election, when Scholz, in the same fucking evening, fired Lindner.
And not in a polite way. Nah. Olaf fucking Scholz our Chancellor, notorious for saying literally nothing, and with a running joke that he regularly stops existing bc that man Does Not Take Stances, a spine of wet cardboard, delivered this yesterday evening:
(English subtitles by me you already got this far watch it I spent too much time on this lol)
And it is insane alright. For his standards and German politic standards thats the equivalent of calling Lindner a egomaniacal bitch that has only his self interest at heart and can not be trusted.
Lindner and his party have been pulverised in all recent elections. Which means that after he was fired, the FDP completely withdrew from the coalition and all minister from the FDP resigned.
....well all but one who apparently stayed in his positions because he's leaving the FDP over this. What sort of shitty backstabbing kindergarten fight is this. (Jokes aside hes the minister of transportation and says he needs to stay in office in important projects. Which. True. Having minister resigning en mass is not good)
Alright cool cool cool cool. Current situation yesterday is the following:
So. Trump is president. Fuck.
Lindner got fired! Yaaay!
Wait my goverment is now also falling apart! Fuck.
Which all lead to new elections being called in Germany.
Mind you, that's not usual ok. I know other countries have systems where they can call an election whenever but that is not a thing that normally happens here. We have a schedule alright. (Insert obligatory "Germans and their plans and structure" joke)
So new elections are called for spring, nearly a year early. Cool cool cool. With a right wing rising in Germany and deeply unpopular current leadership. On the eve of motherfucking trump getting elected.
Habeck, leader of the green party and one of the few policians in germany I think is vaguely liked by ppl (the general attitude in German politics is less "I like this guy" and more "you are the least shitty choice I guess") has appearently also nearly started crying after the news broke. So. Yeah.
Now. Let's make this shitshow complete,alright?
There is this party. CDU. They had been in charge for a very long time in Germany. Centrist, right leaning, with the afd on the rising even more right leaning than before. Their current leader is Friedrich Merz, as unpleasant as human beings can go.
He has now called for the new election to be not in a few months but like. To be called next week.
In the current climate.
So yeah. if you're German mutuals and friends are currently going through their own stages of grief - this is why.
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The Chicken Salad War is not really an enemies-to-lovers in the strictest sense, because most of the animosity between Simon and Ylias is pretty friendly once they get past their initial spat, but there are a few scenes that are genuinely combative.
Sometimes when I write I'll jump around a little, write a scene I like so that I've got it down and can build up to it without hurry, but I'm at a point where usually I can just sit down and write the story straight through beginning to end, then just go back and tweak stuff. I was really struggling to do that with Chicken Salad War and I realized it was because I didn't want to write the combative scenes but by habit I didn't want to skip past them, either. Once I gave myself permission to skip past them I made a lot more progress, so that's good.
However, I'm now nearly done with the story...so all that's left to write are the scenes I skipped to begin with, and now I have to write all of them.
I did not, perhaps, fully think this plan through.
I do have the rest of the story as a framework, which should make things easier, but I am laughing at myself. Oh, you don't like writing fight scenes and confrontation? Let's see you write five of them in a row, you bastard.
Still, it's clocking in right now at around 65K words and probably only needs another 10K or so, which'll make it the shortest since Infinite Jes, a nice return to brevity.
Also there's a plot twist in this one that I am dying to tell someone about but I don't want to spoil it for anyone, so my reward for writing these damn scenes will be that eventually I get to inflict it on everyone. :D
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Dove: A Zombie Ghost Story (Chapter Three)
Summary: He didn’t truly know if he was the only one of his kind, but he’d never met any other infected that seemed even remotely conscious. They were all just mindless husks enslaved to the brutal whims of the virus. And he had been slowly but surely turning into one of them, before he’d found her. His little dove. Word Count: 3176 Warnings: still no smut, flashback to semi-graphic noncon which can be skipped, the section is in italics with the middle and end marked by a singe asterisk (the triple asterisk denotes a POV change as usual) Notes: This is by far the shortest chapter in this fic as it currently stands. I am thinking of doing a double update today to make it up to the few of you who read this, whoever you are XD let me know if that is something y'all would like. AO3, Masterlist
Ghost’s little dove seemed determined to get herself killed.
He hadn’t felt so afraid since he’d been bitten, when he saw her run into the cabin without so much as peeking inside first. And then her scream—God, her scream. For once, he was glad he couldn’t sleep, because he knew it would haunt his nightmares if he did.
The infected that was trying to eat her was dispatched easily, though not before it got unacceptably close to taking a bite out of her pretty face. He immediately crouched down to check on her, thinking of nothing but making sure there were no bites hidden beneath her clothes. He didn’t consider how she would feel about him touching her—and he didn’t consider how he would feel, either.
She was so warm.
He could feel her body heat even through her long sleeves and his gloves, and it was addicting. He wanted to pull her close and press her against him, to let her warmth chase away the cold that lingered in his very bones ever since his undeath. And he almost did just that—but then she shrieked like a banshee and kicked him, clearly trying to get away. It hadn’t hurt, he couldn’t feel pain anymore, after all, but he’d let go instantly anyway, backing away and trying to apologize. All that came out was a wet gurgling noise though, so he stopped, just silently looking down at her where she still sat on the floor, staring up at him with so much fear and confusion that he would have given anything to be able to comfort her.
Johnny would know what to do, he thought, and once again, he couldn't help but wonder just who this Johnny was. It was the only name he seemed to recall, from before. And it was only after he’d found his little dove that he'd remembered it, remembered the name that went with the disjointed sense memories of bright blue eyes, a deep Scottish burr, and the scent of clean soap.
“You’re real. You’re real, and you’re not eating me, and you’re— you’re protecting me. How? Why?”
His dove’s words brought him back to the present, giving him a spark of hope. She finally understood that he wasn’t going to hurt her, that he was keeping her safe. He groaned quietly in agreement, to let her know she was right and not just imagining things, but he was unable to answer her questions. He didn’t know how he had managed to hold onto pieces of himself, after his death. All he knew was that he was one bloody stubborn bastard, always had been, and always would be. He liked to think that that had something to do with him managing to fight off the virus, at least a little bit.
As for why he was protecting her… well, he was lonely. And he was fading, succumbing more to his instincts with every passing day in isolation. He wanted human companionship so fucking badly, and he could already tell that it was helping him remain himself. He felt more present, more alive in this moment than he had since the day he’d been bitten.
“You... Do you understand me?” His dove whispered after a moment. She sounded like she knew the answer, but he groaned softly in response anyway, awkwardly jerking his head up and down in a nod. His jaw wobbled grotesquely as he did, and he reached up to steady it, not wanting to disgust her any more than he already had, not when they were finally making progress.
She sucked in a sharp breath, big brown eyes growing impossibly wider. She looked shell shocked, and Ghost didn’t know what to do to change that. He’d never gotten this far with a human, before…
“Are there more like you?” She asked haltingly, after a moment of tense, heavy silence. “That— that are— whatever you are?”
Ghost carefully shrugged his shoulders, but at the same time, he held his jaw in place, and then jerked his head to the left, to the right, and then back to the left. He didn’t truly know if he was the only one of his kind, but he’d never met any other infected that seemed even remotely conscious. They were all just mindless husks enslaved to the brutal whims of the virus. And he had been slowly but surely turning into one of them, before he’d found her. His little dove.
“Oh,” she whispered, swallowing thickly. It drew his attention to the pale, bruised column of her throat, and his clouded eyes zeroed in on her pulse point. He could hear the thrum of her heartbeat, just underneath her soft looking skin. Her blood would taste thick and sweet on his tongue, he knew, and it would be so warm, as warm as she was. He sniffed deeply, groaning softly at her scent, and he felt drool pool in his mouth and leak out, down his chin. That, along with his dove’s small flinch, snapped him out of it. He quickly wiped the drool away, feeling embarrassed.
Slowly, she got to her feet, wincing as she stood up straight. She tried to dust off the dirt on her clothes, only to look distinctly horrified when she realized that black, congealed blood from the zombie that had attacked her now stained the stiff, pale pink fabric. She gagged when she accidentally touched it, and for a second, he worried she would throw up. She couldn’t afford to lose the little food left in her stomach, not when he knew for a fact she hadn’t eaten since before he found her.
He grumbled quietly, bringing her attention back to him, and then slowly moved towards the door, so as not to startle her. He picked up the corpse as he did, bringing it outside and moving it out of sight. He returned quickly, only to find her peeking out the door, watching for him. If he could have, he would have smiled. It was clear that at least part of her didn’t want him to go.
That part didn’t stop her from retreating rapidly as he approached, still maintaining a two metre distance from him at all times. He closed the door behind him as he re-entered the small cabin, then moved past her, deeper inside. He checked the single, tiny bedroom, but it was clear, just like he’d expected. He did find a thick quilt folded neatly over the end of the bed, and he picked it up, bringing it back to his dove.
She was in the miniature kitchen area, now, all the low hanging cabinets flung open to reveal bare, dusty shelves. She was currently trying to climb onto the tiny sliver of counter space to reach the higher ones, and Ghost growled disapprovingly. She startled, whipping around to look at him in fright. He held out the blanket as a peace offering, simultaneously moving closer. After a moment of hesitation, she snatched it from his stiff fingers and then backed away from him once more as she wrapped it around her shivering form.
Ghost opened the cabinet that his dove had been reaching for, and let out another growl—pleased, this time—when he found a solitary can of what he assumed to be beans, based on the faded picture on the label. He couldn’t read the words on it, and the reminder of how thoroughly the virus had destroyed so much of him made the hollow space in his chest ache faintly.
Once again, he offered the supplies to his little dove, and this time, she accepted it a little more graciously, a little less like she expected it to be a trap. Her fingers brushed against the fabric of his gloves, and he suddenly wished that he wasn’t wearing them so he could feel her warm skin against his own.
“Thank you.”
The words were so quiet, that without the virus’s enhanced hearing, he doubted he would have caught them. But he did, and his foggy eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. She didn’t notice how happy she’d made him, though, too busy pulling back the tab of the can and scooping beans directly into her mouth. She moaned in pleasure at the taste—clearly, she was even more hungry than he’d thought, if a can of cold beans caused that reaction—and a low sound grumbled deep in Ghost’s chest as a very human emotion stirred inside him in response. He stood there in shock for a moment as he watched her suck her fingers clean, before it faded into self disgust and he jerked his gaze away, walking back to the door to stand watch, like a good dead guard dog. Because that was all he could ever offer her, his sweet little dove. That was all he should ever want. To protect her. Not to fuck her. He was a revolting, decaying monster—his outside finally matched his insides. She would never have desired a beast like him even before, and she certainly wouldn’t now. He was depraved for even thinking about it. Perhaps the virus had twisted him in more ways than he thought…
***
Lelia devoured the can of cold beans like it was the most delicious meal she’d ever tasted—and she grew up eating at michelin star restaurants regularly. But she hadn’t eaten in days, and she was starving. Andrew had always taken half her rations, claiming she didn’t need them anyway if she was going to stay thin and pretty for him. Lelia had stopped getting her period soon after, and at first, she’d been terrified that he’d finally managed to get her pregnant. But the test she’d managed to get her hands on had come back negative, and no other telltale symptoms had cropped up. She’d finally worked up the courage to ask one of the other women on the base about it, and she’d given her such a pitying look before telling her it was probably due to starvation.
That was when Lelia had realized that how Andrew treated her was no secret, to the other people on the base. He must have realized it soon after, too, because that was when he’d started trading her body to the soldiers for bigger rations and longer shower times.
That was all she had been worth. A little extra food and a few more minutes of hot water…
*
It had been only a month since the dead started walking, but already, Lelia wondered if those who died in the initial chaos were the real lucky ones.
She’d thought her life was difficult before, as Andrew’s wife, when she’d been living on a large estate, constantly draped in the finest jewels and dresses, sleeping in the most comfortable beds, and being waited on hand and foot by a host of servants. Yes, Andrew had been cruel, the bruises on her body and the constant ache between her thighs were testament to that. And no, she hadn’t had a lick of freedom, not even allowed her own cell phone, or to leave the estate without his permission. But that was nothing compared to the utter hell her life had become.
She and Andrew now slept on a bed hard as a rock, and the food they were given to eat was limited and flavorless, if not outright disgusting. They had no household staff to do all their menial chores for them, and their lives had been stripped of all the conveniences and luxuries they’d both always enjoyed. Lelia had struggled greatly to adapt, but Andrew had taken things much harder.
He was angry all the time now, and he had nothing to do other than take his frustrations out on her by either fucking her or beating her. Nothing she did could calm him down anymore, all the tricks she’d learned to do so were now worse than useless. Even still, he held up appearances whenever they were around other survivors. Which was why she hadn’t been expecting him to do this.
They stood outside the Sergeants’ barracks. There were three of them, she believed, but she’d never interacted with any of them, as Andrew didn’t like her talking to other people, especially men. He had been trying to become friends with them, as he often complained to her about the privileges the soldiers got, and how he wanted in. He hadn’t been successful, though, with his father’s money now unable to compensate for his lack of charm.
So Lelia was quite confused as to why they were here, and why Andrew had such a grim but determined look on his face.
Nonetheless, she played the part of dutiful wife, her hand in Andrew's as she waited patiently while he knocked on the door. When it opened, showing all three sergeants inside, Andrew turned to her, cupping her face in his hands, and looked at her with… not remorse, but maybe regret. Like he didn’t feel bad about what was about to happen, but wished it hadn’t gotten to this point.
“Tonight, the good Sergeants here are your husbands,” he told her, words heavy with meaning. “Do you understand?”
Lelia did. Lelia understood very well. But she shook her head anyway, tears pooling in her eyes.
“I’ve been good,” she whispered, heartbroken. “Please, Andy, I’ve been good!”
“So be good again tonight,” her husband said, voice hard, before kissing her forehead and letting her go. He turned to the soldiers, looking unhappy but resigned. “Use condoms, and be careful around her stomach. I’ve been trying to get her pregnant.”
Lelia wanted to scream as the soldier closest to her took her arm in his big, meaty hand and dragged her inside the room. But she said nothing. She couldn’t make her mouth work, because she wasn’t inside her body. She watched as the soldiers took her all night long, one after the other—even all at the same time at one point—but she didn’t feel a thing. Not until the next morning, when she returned to herself. Her whole body was in terrible pain. She was on the cold floor, naked and covered in dried semen, as the sergeants snored next to her in their bunks. Lelia got up slowly, gathering her clothes and carefully putting them back on. Then, she left, wandering the halls with a pronounced limp and a dazed expression on her face until she ran into one of the other soldiers, an Officer. He grimaced at the sight of her, gently taking her elbow and leading her to one of the toilets. He wet a rag and gave it to her, letting her clean the semen off her face—she’d not even realized there was any on it—before bringing her back to Andrew, who was passed out in their bed, an empty flask next to him.
It would not be the last time her husband let the soldiers use her.
*
Lelia sucked in a shuddery breath as she set the empty can down on the tiny, two person table in the kitchenette, shoving the memory away viciously. She immediately grimaced and wrinkled her nose, casting a glance at her new undead… companion. He smelled awful, like rot and decay and death. The beans she’d just eaten almost came right back up, and she covered her mouth and nose, trying to hide her impolite reaction. She’d smelled him before, of course, but now that she actually had something in her stomach, it was all too apparent just how difficult being around him was going to be.
Would she stay around him? And when had he become a him and not an it, anyway?
Probably around the time you realized there was something still left in there of the person he used to be, a voice inside her head responded to her unspoken question. The thought made her sad, and she felt a wave of sympathy for her zombie. She couldn’t imagine what his existence was like, stuck in a body that was falling apart, feared by the only people who could understand him, and unable to talk to them, to tell them he meant no harm…
“What’s your name?” She asked him quietly, almost taking a step forward before she thought better of it. He still smelled, and she still needed her meal to stay down. Getting closer would only tempt fate more than she already was by remaining in the same room as him.
Her zombie looked at her slowly, and though there was no expression on his masked face—she was unsure he could even make one, with his broken jaw and missing lips—she still got the distinct impression that she’d surprised him. She immediately felt bad. He’d saved her life twice now, three times if she counted the food and blanket, and she was just now asking his name. She should’ve done so the moment she realized he was helping her.
Her zombie lifted one arm up to his neck, grasping something and then pulling it up over his head before holding it out to her. A silver chain with a set of dog tags dangled from his gloved fist, and Lelia inhaled deeply through her mouth before walking forward, holding her breath as she accepted them from him. She retreated quickly, trying to suck in air as subtly as she could while she wiped the grime from the dog tags with a corner of the tatty, checkered cloth that was laid across the kitchen table.
“Riley, Simon A.,” she read aloud. Beneath that was his rank information—Lieutenant. She looked up at her zombie, and gave him a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Lieutenant Riley.”
Her zombie grunted, jerking his head back and forth hard. His jaw quivered from the force of it. Confused, and a little bit afraid, Lelia backtracked.
“I–I’m sorry, do you not want to be called that?” She asked nervously. All the soldiers back on the base, or at least the ones she talked to (meaning the ones her husband lent her to) insisted they be called by their proper rank. Though whenever they used her, they demanded she call them Sir… Lelia swallowed, feeling the beans threaten to come back up for an entirely different reason. She wouldn’t call him Sir. She wouldn't.
Her zombie approached her, seemingly agitated, and Lelia flinched, taking a step back. He stopped, watching her for a moment, but didn't come any closer. He just pointed at his dog tags again, and Lelia looked back down at them, rubbing the pad of her thumb over his name and date of birth. Her eyes widened a bit when she saw the year he was born—1981, he was the same age as her mother—but she didn’t let herself get distracted. She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment, before trying again.
“You want me to call you Simon?” She half guessed, half begged. When he nodded, she let out a relieved sigh, her small smile returning. “Okay… let's try this again, then. It’s nice to meet you, Simon.”
#Dove#zombie ghost x oc#zombie ghost#cod zombies#zombie ghost cod#cod ghosts#simon ghost riley fanfiction#ghost angst#ghost call of duty#cod mw ghost#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#simon riley x oc#simon riley#simon ghost riley x female oc#simon ghost riley x original character#simon ghost x oc#simon ghost angst#simon riley cod#zombie simon riley#simon riley fanfic#simon riley fic#simon ghost riley fic#cod ocs#cod mwii#cod original character#cod oc x canon#cod oc#call of duty oc#call of duty
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hey we’ve never talked but euodia is a word with all five vowels! it’s a type of flower. have a nice day
that’s such a pretty word!!! adding that to my list, thank you :D
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drawing them being happy to cope
#asoryuu#ace attorney#great ace attorney#dgs fanart#my art#digital art#kazuma asogi#ryunosuke naruhodo#artists on tumblr#they're in love your honor#not me reading nothing but asoryuu fics for the past 12 days straight 😳#like i'm serious i think i've read like a good ~60 fics#shortest was about 1000 words and longest 27k#yeahhh this is definitely a new hyperfixation of mine 🤡#illustration
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Love is so freaky and messed up to the point that sometimes i do wish and hope SO badly that no one ever has to suffer being in love with me specifically because it honestly sounds absolutely unbearable
#my brain sure is braining lately#ignore me ive been having a Few Days for sure#and there aren’t enough words or enough time in the world to express the full context of this thought#like#the love story doesn’t happen in the epilogue#and the epilogue can’t fix an ending that failed to satisfy the reader#and an authentic and satisfactory sequel is impossible when the ending killed off too much of the plot#does any of this make sense#do i even know what i mean#just ignore me im overthinking#and of the like five different crazed rants i drafted tonight this one is like the shortest#and least weird i think#and i wanted to shout my nonsense into the void to shut my brain up for a minute#apologies for that#pls continue as you were and i hope your brain is quiet and your day is good <3#wait also im all good im just thinking no need to worry!#this is just my nonsense that wanted to be set free from rattling in my brain just let her be and she’ll go away on her own eventually😪
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everyday i find that an autistic trait i didn't relate to because i do the opposite, is actually also an autistic trait
#was anyone going to tell me about blank masking?! dkjfgfg#all those questions that are like ''in conversations do you monologue about your interests and won't let the other person get a word in?#even though sometimes they are not interested in what you are saying?''#and i'm always like nah because i simply won't talk. i don't monologue BECAUSE the other person won't be interested#i will sit there and listen to someone talk about whatever the fuck they want to talk while i make an effort to seem interested#but i will not say a word myself#and if they ask me questions i will answer in the shortest most concise way possible as to not seem annoying or waste their time#and you're now telling me that's also an autistic trait?!#that's masking?!#are you fucking kidding me!?!?!? dkfjghkfdg#this is the same thing as when i found out thinking everyone hates me is also a form of not being able to read people's reactions#lol#fuck!#angel talks#personal
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Dra -2/+2 chapter 1
KSKEKKSKKEKDKSKSKS YEAH DEADASS
I never really understood why when people talk about Ch2 they act like the main problem with trying to save Kizuna would be getting her to Kanata on time, sure that's what Ayame mentions when explaining herself in the post trial, but her whole talent is being fast so logically that shouldn't be the main concern but instead the lack of an infirmary and the amount of blood Kizuna had lost by that point
#looking back at ch1 is kinda funny to me because it's the shortest chapter in the whole fic#it's like 3000something words#and that doesn't bother me at all. it's the starting chapter we gotta start slow#but i remember thinking that was gonna be the avarage chapter length#like damn i was SO wrong lmao#dra#danganronpa another#dra -2+2#ayame hatano#kizuna tomori#hyena ramblings
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oh wait i get her i get whisper. okay i understand now
#~talk tag~#she talks clipped too and id been thinking of it as a choice but im also now considering#like when i cant ? talk good?#and i shorten everything into the shortest sentences i can manage because its difficult to get words out#'i dont want -blank thing-' becomes 'dont want' and attempting to articulate full thoughts is the barest and shortest versions of words#plus as much miming as i can manage#as well as having people double check they understand what im saying and then filling in the middle afterwards. MAYBE who knows maybe im ma#king shit up and actually she chooses to talk all clipped on purpose. whatever
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now annoying my brother by making up tunes and making him think they're real songs lmfshvjhs
#just me hi#when i finish a song sometimes i don't want it to end and i just keep adding on and changing it until it's not really the same anymore hfhs#and i add words sometimes too.. nobody sees that coming lolll#apparently he thinks most of the songs i sing to myself i made up. like dude my memory isn't that good lhfhsv#i forget them as soon as i'm finished but they're fun in the moment :3#if i had the patience for a music program i'd prolly do something about it but alas!! Alas !!#also i forget the tunes as Soon as i hear a real note. oh wells!#//okay so let's see what i'm doing#i think i'll try neocities again? got spooked by my own brain cuz it latched on like Crazy Hard when i got into it last time but maaaaybe#that won't happen This time (Lol. Lmao. Lol)#like not only did it frustrate me but that was the hardest and probably shortest-lived obsession i've ever had. real neat hghfsk#i Did delete all of the work i did afterwards tho cuz it still bothered me n i wasn't gonna work on it so i'll have a clean slate!! :33#//thaaat and i need to finish this piece i'm doin.. almost done but some parts are wonky... :/#i have to change the size of the head u-u but yea it might be alright after that??#i dunno cuz i feel like the sketchbook doodle looked better ; it's lost some energy :/#which is okay but i'm just a little auhh'ed by it. if you know what i mean Lol#yeaa though.. oh wells !!#/i'm gonna get on that cuz there are other things and stuffs i wanna get around to#so Ye toodles toodles :> !! o/
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rereading 41 as i write sukuna in 42 and my god. what WAS this
#this...might be the shortest passage that took me the longest to write#bro i was tearing my hair out for like two and a half hours over less than 300 words#worth it in the end. i think#this kinda goes hard ngl#anyway! back to writing#tpg
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are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me
#i feel like absolute shit rn fsdjkl#i think i talked too much today even though i barely spoke at all#but every time i talked someone else had smth to say and then the leader guy had to keep coming back to me like ''what were u saying?''#which was rly nice of him but like. if i just kept my mouth shut then he wouldnt have had to do that at all fdjskl#i mean like. he did ask me questions directly a few times. so he was trying to help me have opportunities to speak#but fsjkl i just. i feel bad for talking bc i know everyone else wants to talk constantly#and i can do without speaking fsdjkl i just... i kept stumbling over my words so badly and it was rly embarrassing ;-;#but i'd get nervous and panicked bc i knew i'd be interrupted at any second so i was just trying to find the shortest way to say my thing#but then i'd trip over my words bc i was so nervous and it'd take too long#and i just felt like i wasn't putting enough effort into my tone so i probably sounded rly flat today and i just. urgghhh#holding my head and tugging at my hair. why can't i just be normal dgjkl why am i so fucking annoying and weird and difficult#i dont know 😭 today was rly difficult bc i was just feeling kind of awful and like i was in the way all day#i did find some yarn colours i need at a flea market though and also some dip pens that i've always wanted to try#i figure $3 is a steal of a deal to try out dip pens instead of buying them brand new for like $30 fdsjkl#so there was something good from today! i just feel like i was annoying to be around all day idk fdsjkl#i honestly probably was totally fine sdfjkl i just. argh#and i hate going to stores w the centre bc i end up following the group leader around after a while bc i dont ever buy anything#i look around at the stuff i like to look at and then i am done and don't want to be a nuisance by being hard to find when everyone-#-else is done so i just figure sticking by the group leader is the best idea. stores dont like when i hang around the front for long fdsjkl#but then i just feel like a weird little kid trailing after their parent 😭 i wish i could just be an AdultTM but augh augh augh#what a fucking weird thing for me to do dsfjkl i just. dont know what else to do bc stores get annoyed w me if i wait at the front#and i dont want to wait outside bc then they'll forget im out there and look for me inside when theyre done LMAO#if i had income then maybe i'd be able to spend longer looking at things but fdsjkl theres only so much looking u can do when u dont buy#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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You're more amazing than catchphrases
90% of all Yugioh card effects are either "move a card from one zone to another" or "negate an effect" so I made a bunch of combat keywords so that monsters can actually be interesting on the field.
#asks#custom cards#also i managed to make them all different subtypes and get exactly 2 of each attribute so that's cool#anyway i'm barely even exaggerating about the 90% thing#“add a card from deck to hand” “special summon a monster” “destroy a card”#so much stuff is just moving cards between zones#and a lot of the rest is just “negate a card/effect” “effects can't target this” “can't be destroyed by effects”#just moving cards around or preventing cards from being moved around#how about actually caring about the battle phase?#yugioh's combat mechanics are really different than magic's so directly translating stuff like menace or haste doesn't work#but the difference also means there's so much opportunity for different abilities like Tricky or Stealthy or Guardian!#some translate fairly well like Vigilance into Resilient and Double Strike into Double Attack#and some are practically 1-to-1 like Deathtouch to Venomous and Trample to Piercing#Assist was an awkward one#the concept is so clear and simple and cool: it lets your monsters team up to attack together!#but mtg's Banding shows how that simple concept can be very difficult to translate into clean rules#even its spiritual successor Enlist had to specify “nonattacking creature without summoning sickness”#which i think is one of the only times that the term “summoning sickness” has appeared on modern cards#yeah i just checked and the only other cards that mention summoning sickness are stuff that involve creature-lands#i went back and forth on how exactly to word it before i decided to go the shortest and cleanest route of “spend this monster's attack”#which is also the most confusing wording if anything remotely unusual happens#heck it's not even clear whether it works while in defense position!#the idea is the same as Enlist: you can only use it if the monster COULD attack#so anything that prevents it from attacking also prevents it from assisting#but honestly if i were in charge i wouldn't even print this keyword because its wording is either too long or too confusing#also the Wrath effect appears on a few existing cards like Flame Wingman and i like it#Piercing also already exists in a kind of pseudo-keyword state#“if this monster attacks a defense position monster inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent”
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hozierr!!
YEAHH!! lesgo
#aughhh icarian…#this one is like. The one from unreal unearth to me just cause of how much you talk about it CACKLES#ouh interesting but at the start#so far this is about what i expected cackles cackles#and though i burn how could i fall when i am lifted by every word you say to me…..#its very slow and quiet ough#its like. a breeze through branches#waghhhh it’s so so pretty weeping wailing#it’s like making me feel things dude i dunno why (positive)#i do not have wings love i never will!!!!!!!!#god this is like. ethereal#this would play over some fucking crushing scene in a film i think /silly /pos#god shortest three minutes of my life????? it went by so fast wagh#overall definitely very much a banger ough#not something i’d listen to regularly i think but i did really like it cackles. very much what i expected#EAT YOUR YOUNG!!!!! hell yeah dude#i didn’t know eat your young was in this album that’s fascinating#i fuckin love eat your young so much dude top hozier song to me it’s been on my playlist so long#IM STARVIN!! DARLIN!! LET ME PUT MY LIPS TO SOMETHING!!!!!#i dunno it just scratches my brain in some kinda way it bangs it really does#so so rad#especially the chorus i just love how he sings the chorus cackles#and oughhh the music dude#you can’t buy this!! fineness!!#god when he fuckin draws out the “honey i” god#also just like such an interesting song i think#anyway. yeag. eat your young ftw always#answering asks#chair asks#chair!!
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Words gone
#okays#how do#i do#hm#oh shit wait im fine its back#like just as im writing these tags that may have been the shortest amount of time something like this happened#have to think hard to get the words though
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Sulked all day yesterday about changing my outline so that the chapters are shorter (and will therefore be easier to finish) because I do not like change even when it's good for me
Now I'm sulking because the reference I was so excited about finally posting is now two chapters away from the one I'm posting next
#honestly though#i do think shorter chapters is going to make this fic so much easier on me#but i do hate how there will be a random switch from super long chapters to regular length chapters#makes the fic feel lumpy somehow#rationally though its already got inconsistent chapter length#like the shortest chapter as of now is 7k and the longest is like 25k#with the average being something like 12k#suddenly dropping down to 4k-ish word chapters is going to take some getting used to
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