#i think that netflix is smart as FUCK for making this story into a live action short story

[hepatitisneedle]

absolutely adoring how (almost) everyone around me wants to know my opinion on the live action one piece

[impala-dreamer]

Who We're Pretending To Be

A Story from the YOU Universe

~Joe finds himself getting too close to one of his grad students and he fights the urge to fall completely.~

Joe Goldberg (Jonathan Moore) x F!Reader

5,019 Words

Warnings: NSFW.

A/N: If you've not seen the Netflix show YOU, this may not be your thing. Still a great story, but it helps to know the show. Also, if you've not seen the show, I suggest you get right on that because it is AMAZING.

Set between Seasons 3 & 4. Slight spoilers for s4, but not really. 

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

The classroom seems cold today, like there’s something missing. It’s distracting. I can’t quite put my finger on what’s off, but there’s a charge in the air like something’s about to happen; as if lightning could strike at any second.

I don’t mean proverbial lightning, as none of my students seem to have grasped any of the contextual undertones of the book we’re discussing, but actual, live lightning. If I opened the windows behind my desk just a crack, a bolt would sneak through and bury itself in the base of my skull. Maybe that’s what I need- a jolt of electricity, something to break me out of this fog that crept up around me and climbs forever higher threatening to suffocate me.

I think I’d take the lightning to the skull over suffocation, but we don’t always get what we want.

I’m perched on the edge of the desk when the door opens and Y/N comes rushing in.

Suddenly, all of my attention is on her.

She’s never late. Never rushing, always at least ten minutes early for every appointment, every class. She seems- off today, as well. Perhaps she can feel the imminent lightning strike as well. Wouldn’t that be funny? I find a kindred amongst these idiot grad students who can’t even seem to end this horrid debate.

“I am so sorry, Professor Moore.”

Y/N’s voice cracks a bit, which in itself isn’t very unusual. She’s one of the quieter students I’ve encountered, and the only American in my current circle of acquaintances. Her accent is faint, as if she’s attempting to hide it from her schoolmates. She’s been here a while, I can infer; sprinkling in local slang and adding letters to words where back home there would be none. She’s trying hard to fit in, but why? Why not be herself?

“I got held up by-”

I hold up my hand and smile softly. “It’s fine, Y/N. Please take a seat and try to catch up.”

For fuck’s sake, she’s only twenty minutes late, but it looks like every second has weighed her down like lead.

The others pick up their debate and I sit back a bit, cross my arms, pretend to listen. This teaching thing isn’t as hard as everyone makes it out to be. Occasionally, I toss out an idea and let them run with it. Sometimes, I pay attention, mostly I don’t. Mostly I’m thinking of You. Of how beautiful You looked at that art show, of how You gasped when you saw me like You couldn’t decide if You wanted to run to me or away.

From the corner of my eye, I see Y/N timidly raise her hand and You are temporarily pushed aside. She keeps her hand up but close to her chest, as if the very act of asking to speak is somehow terrifying.

How can someone so brave be so terrified to do something as common as speak in class? She’s clearly not a scared person by nature- she moved across an ocean to attend university when she could have gone for free back home to whatever state college she decided to attend. I’ve peeked at her transcripts- she’s smart. Not win a genius grant or a full ride smart, but smart. Why is she so nervous?

I smile and a bit of her nerves seem to quell. Her shoulders relax an inch and she smiles back.

“You know you don’t have to raise your hand, Y/N,” I tell her, laughing gently to put her at ease.

She dips her chin and then looks up with the most beautiful gaze I have ever seen. Her lashes flutter upwards in slow motion, the darkness of her pupils expand, pushing nearly every fleck of color away except the gemlike glow cast by the stained glass window over my head. She smiles and her lips shine like glass. Soft, pink, beautiful glass. I can’t look away and yet I absolutely have to. Thankfully, she speaks and I can act like I’m moving away to sit in my chair and not to get away from her.

“Sorry,” she says, sweet voice sweeping over the room. “I just didn’t want to jump in because I was late but-”

“But you have something to add,” I finish for her.

Her eyes float back to me and the atmosphere shifts. The foreboding of a lighting strike vanishes and the room seems to warm up. Quickly, I sit and scoot the chair close to the desk, set my elbows on the top, clasp my hands near my lips. I can’t stop staring at her.

She nods. “Yes. If that’s alright.”

There it is again, the tiniest speck of British on her tongue. How long has she been living here, and why? It can’t just be for school. She’s too interesting for that. She dresses to blend in; muted colors and clean jeans, her hair always swept back, face free of plastering makeup or too much color. There’s only ever that pink gloss and a gentle brush of mascara. It’s as if she doesn't know how beautiful she is, or perhaps, she doesn’t care.

Or was she one of those kids who never really got any attention until they blossomed but by then it was too late to fit into their personality?

She chews her lip nervously and shyly looks away from me.

No, she knows. She knows how beautiful she is, she just isn’t one to flaunt it; doesn’t need the attention. Or is that how she draws them in?

She’s already talking, but I can’t hear a thing she’s saying. I can hear her voice, that honey like glaze she adds to things when she’s speaking passionately, but the actual words, the meaning- I can’t follow a damned thing. I’m too busy trying to figure her out.

You flash through my mind for a moment; a sweet memory of a smile in the library when You didn’t think I was looking.

What is it about a smile that says so much without words? Does it show who we really are or who we’re pretending to be?

“I just think that love shouldn’t be so easily condemned.”

Y/N’s comment breaks through my thoughts of You and I clear my throat, straighten up in my chair, focus.

Across the room, Nadia rolls her eyes, clearly disagreeing with Y/N’s interpretation. “This isn’t love, it’s obsession. The two can’t and shouldn’t be intertwined.”

Y/N bites her bottom lip and shakes her head.

What does that lip gloss taste like? Berries, perhaps… No. Stop it. Focus.

“I disagree.” Y/N sits forward and tucks her hands below the table. “Love is obsession. Obsession is love. It’s not a tautology, no, but you can have one with the other. If you’re not even a little obsessed with the person you love, is it really love at all?”

My mind is zinging, my ears ringing. Does she truly believe that, or is it all for the sake of debating Nadia? They’ve been at war most of the semester, but this seems truthful, deep.

The bell rings before I can recenter and add anything. I give my head a little shake and stand up, the chair rolling back behind me.

“Class dismissed. Great job today. Lively, wonderful discourse.” I fake a smile at the rest and then settle on Y/N.

She’s taking her time, hanging back as she gathers her things. She stuffs a notebook into her bag and the pen she’s been using rolls away from her.

“Crap.” She lunges across the table for it, but it’s too close to the edge, too far from her reach.

I drop down at the last second and save it from a dusty fate of rolling across the floor. “Gotcha.”

She’s staring when I stand up. Our eyes meet and she doesn’t shy away, but looks even deeper somehow. A smile lifts her cheeks and my pulse quickens.

No.

She holds out her hand and there’s a fleeting second when I want to trace my fingers across her palm, feel how soft and warm she is, but no. I toss her the pen and turn, trying to get her out of my head.

I have more important things to do than become a tired cliche. Some professor falling for a student. It’s an outrageous thought, and besides, I don’t need Y/N, I have You.

I hear the zipper close and a chair being pushed in. She’s leaving.

She lingers in the door and turns back to me with a sweet smile. “Have a good weekend, Professor.”

Her tone is so genuine, so kind that it nearly knocks me backwards. I can’t remember the last time anyone has truly wished me a good time. It’s such an overused pleasantry, so common and boring, but not when she says it. Not when she smiles at me like that, with her eyes still and focused on me.

The warmth spreading through me is real as well and I can’t seem to push it away. “Thank you,” I managed, barely able to stand let alone return the sentiment. “You too.”

The rest of the day goes by quickly but it feels like forever. Two more classes, two more groups of students droning on about what the author really meant, when none of them, not a single one seems to be able to read between the fucking lines. None of them can step back and see the whole picture, capture the meaning as a universe unto itself and not just a line in black and white on an otherwise blank page.

Y/N could read between the lines. Y/N would understand the sum of it all. She would get it.

Stop. Thinking. About. Her.

On my walk home, I think about You. Wondering what You’re up to, where You are tonight. The sun is setting, dragging the sky down into a deep pink and I wonder if You are seeing the same colors where You are. Someday, we’ll sit together on an island in the Pacific and see what that sunset looks like. Would You paint it for me, I wonder…

Y/N crosses my mind for a moment as I gaze at the light reflecting off a window as I pass. Would the sunset hit her shining lip gloss in the same way? Would the pink deepen with the sky? Would she smile if she caught me staring, back away if I leaned in to drag my thumb across her juicy, pink bottom lip?

No.

Darkness has settled and I haven’t moved to turn on a lamp. I’m stuck, glued to my sofa, my hands nailed to my thighs. I keep my eyes open for fear of seeing her face, but bouncing around the room looking for a distraction is only giving me a headache. I need to get out. I need something to do. I need-

A knock at the door.

Who would be knocking at my door at nearly ten o’clock at night?

Curiosity pulls me off of the couch and I switch on the lights as I head to the door. The peephole is clouded as fuck, but I can see her outline. My stomach tightens, my shoulders tense.

What is she doing here?

Her hand raises to knock again, but I unlatch the door before her knuckles hand. I find her dangling in the air, her startled face the most appealing thing I’ve seen in ages. Her eyes go wide, her jaw drops just enough to give me a peek at her tongue. Quickly, she rights herself and shies her gaze away. She chews her lip and I notice the pink gloss is gone, replaced by a deeper red.

Everything about her is different tonight. Her hair is down and fresh, her eyes are lined in black and the color blended above brings out the prisms in her eyes. Her clothes are strange as well: a short skirt, tall boots, a blouse that’s too tight to hide anything. There’s a gold string around her throat, something old, a gift perhaps from a dead relative, or a chance find at an antique shop. She would like diving through boxes of discarded wares looking for treasures, wouldn’t she?

Or maybe I’m just distracted by her appearance. Maybe I should stop trying to pick her apart and send her far, far away.

I’m not that man anymore. I’ve changed. I’m good. I have to be good for You.

It’s been too long since either of us has said anything and the fact of it is hanging in the air between us like some kind of glowing, awkward sign.

Thankfully, she speaks.

“Um… Hi.”

It isn’t much, but it breaks the painful silence.

I smile, confused but curious. My ultimate downfall.

“Y/N. What are you doing here?”

I should say something about it being inappropriate, something about contacting me only during office hours, but she knows. That’s not why she’s here. I can see it in her eyes.

Her hands are tucked behind her back, I notice. She’s holding something, not just shoving her tits in my face, although, I can’t say that I mind. She sees that I’m looking and turns to the side a bit to hide it more.

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, calming herself, steeling her nerves. Why is she so nervous? What secret is she hiding? What plan has been brewing all day in her head?

That’s it, isn’t it? She was late this morning, distracted and timid because she was planning to come here.

I should be flattered, but I’m too intrigued by her boldness as she slides past me into my flat.

“I know this is highly inappropriate,” she says, the confession like a song on her lips. “But… I… Well…”

Her nose scrunches up in the most adorable way while she searches for the right words. It’s endearing and makes me want to sit for hours and listen to her talk, discover exactly who she is and why.

I’m still standing in the open doorway, I realize, so I move aside and let it close. My back presses into the door and I hold my tongue, letting her get to the point.

She’s struggling, dancing around it in her head.

I want to crack open her skull and watch the thoughts spark through the gray matter like shooting stars.

“If you’re worried you’ll get in trouble,” I say, trying to get things moving, “you won’t. I’m just wondering why you’re here and how it is that you know where I live.”

She laughs and digs her tooth into the corner of her lip. “I’m not… stalking you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

I almost laugh. Almost.

“Nothing that nefarious,” she goes on. “But I did do something bad.”

The nerves seem to fall away from her the more she speaks and her demeanor changes. Her voice deepens ever so slightly and her hip pops to the side as she looks me over. Is she… flirting with me?

“I doubt you’ve done anything newsworthy, Miss Y/L/N…”

She takes a step forward and her lips pucker gently.

She is flirting with me.

“I hope not,” she says with a little laugh. “You see, I work part time in the admin office…”

I didn’t know that. I don’t know a lot about her. So many things to uncover, so many artifacts to dust off and examine.

“OK…” I push off from the door and take a step towards her. She counters, stepping backwards, guiding me to follow.

“And, well, I accidentally was looking at your files and-”

“Accidentally?”

She presses her tongue between her front teeth and smiles, eyes falling across my face. “Accidentally on purpose,” she clarifies. “I was… curious.”

“About me?”

Another step closer but she doesn’t move this time, letting me close the space between us by a few forbidden inches.

She sighs sweetly. “A little, yes.”

I dip my chin and look up, lifting my brows in question. She pulls in a quick breath, clearly enjoying the look I’ve given her.

“OK, maybe a little more than a little.”

One more step and I’m closer than I’ve ever really been to her, except just now when she invited herself in. I take a breath and she smells warm like vanilla, sweet like honey. The fantasy of berries on her lips falls away and I suddenly want to bury my face in the crook of her neck and do nothing but breathe in her scent, feel it invade my senses, infect my bloodstream.

Her chest heaves with a heavy breath and her eyes grow a little darker. She wants me.

“Maybe a lot curious,” she whispers, lifting her chin and blinking slowly.

Is she daring me to kiss her? Can she feel the lightning between us? Dare I?

No. She’s a student. She’s off limits. She’s not… You.

She must notice my hesitation and steps back a pace. She clears her throat. “Anyway. I saw that it was your birthday today.”

It’s not my birthday. Not my real birthday, anyway, just the one on the fake passport with the fake name and real photo.

I smile because I have to. “It is.”

Whatever she’s hiding behind her back shifts between her hands. “And, well, it’s presumptuous of me but I’ve never heard you talk much about friends or family and… you don’t wear a… ring. I just… Well, I know how hard it is to be a world away from what you know, and this city isn’t exactly kind in general, so…”

She’s rambling and I don’t ever want her to stop. Her voice ebbs and flows over me like a sultry tsunami and I can feel my fingers twitch, my blood rush through my system faster and faster.

“I just don’t think anyone should be alone or forgotten on their birthday so-” Finally, she reveals the mystery behind her back and holds out a green glass bottle. “I took a chance that you were a scotch man. At first I thought wine, but I know nothing about wine, and the guy at the shop said this one was good, so… Happy birthday, Professor.”

She hands me the bottle and without thinking, I take it. It’s not expensive by any means, but it’s the gesture that counts. She doesn’t let go right away, holding it with me, as if she can communicate her desires through the blown glass.

“Thank you.” I smile, let my finger brush against hers. “This is… very thoughtful.”

She lets go but doesn’t move otherwise. Her eyes are locked on me, her stare so pure.

I have to get her out of here.

Y/N shrugs and smiles, so confident now, so sure. “It’s nothing, really. I don’t even know if it’s any good.”

Her meaning lingers and I nod, gesture to the sofa as I start to peel off the seal on the top of the bottle.

“Join me for a glass?”

She bites her lip again and I nearly lose it.

“Love to.”

The scotch isn’t terrible but it’s not great. More like something you’d grab if you were just looking to get drunk, not necessarily gift someone you’re trying to impress.

Is that what she’s doing here? Trying to get me drunk? Surely, she knows she’s impressed me long before today. The looks between us in class, the lectures directed almost entirely at her have not gone unnoticed, but this, this is different. This is dangerous. She is dangerous.

The sofa suddenly feels too small. We sit close, drinking and chatting about life in London. She tells me about her family back home and how she had to cross an ocean to escape a misspent youth and an abusive father figure. I lie my way through a few answers but mostly, I let her talk.

The more she drinks, the looser her tongue gets, the freer her gestures. More than once, her hand falls to my knee and even though I should, I don’t push her away. Even though I should stand up, take her glass, ask her to get the hell out of my house, I can’t. I can’t do anything but stare at her lips as she speaks, drown myself in the tone of her voice, memorize the shape of her ears, her nose, slope of her shoulder. I’m lost in time with her and even though I know the clock is careening past midnight, I don’t care. I don’t want her to leave. I don’t want her to move. I want to be frozen in this moment with her. I want to die in her arms but not before…

“Professor?” She laughs gently, loose and relaxed from the alcohol. She leans in, her shoulder pressing against mine. “Are you even listening to me?”

Honestly, I have no idea what she’s been saying, but I can’t let her know that. I shift a bit, turning towards her. There’s barely room left for the Holy Ghost, as they say, but I doubt he’d begrudge me a little closeness, especially on my- on Jonathan’s birthday.

“I’m listening,” I whisper, captivated by the way she’s glowing. “I’m always listening to you.”

She squirms a bit and smiles behind her glass, takes another sip, downing the rest. There’s a drop of amber gold on her lip and it takes every ounce of restraint in me not to sweep it away with my tongue.

She pats the back of her hand against it and the moment is gone.

“Ya know, you’re one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. And I’m not just sayin’ that. You really are. I get you. I see you, Jonathan Moore. I see inside you.”

She slurs a bit, but not enough for it to be considered a crime if I touch her. That’s all I want to do, just a simple touch. Just to feel how soft she is beneath my fingers, how smooth the curve of her cheek.

Ripping myself away from the impulse, I take the glass from her hand and set hers next to mine on the coffee table. “I think you’ve had enough, Miss. Y/L/N.”

Her hand lands on my chest, right in the very center of me. Can she feel my heartbeat? Does she know how much I want her?

“You can call me by my name, ya know,” she says, dropping her chin and smiling. She’s so close that it would take but a tiny nudge to taste her. “Everyone just calls me Y/N/N.”

This is insane. She needs to leave. I need to slam the door behind her and never open it again.

“Y/N/N.”

Her name falls from my tongue like an incantation and her eyes go hazy. She leans closer, her breath fanning over my lips.

“Say it again,” she asks, nearly begging, “please…”

Fuck, this isn’t good. I can’t do this. I shouldn’t do this. I need to- Fuck, what does it all matter? She’s beautiful and interesting and smart and sitting next to me barely dressed and all she wants is me to whisper her name. What’s the harm?

“Y/N/N.”

The spell falls over her and I know it’s too late to back away. Her eyes fall closed and she leans in, pressing her crimson painted lips to mine. She exhales, pushes herself into the kiss, lets out a tiny moan.

She feels so good and it’s all I can think about. She pulls back and I lean in, needing more. My arms wrap around her, stealing her away. She melts against me, opens her lips to my tongue. The vanilla on her skin mixes with the scotch on her tongue and I’m blown away.

“Professor…”

If feels wrong, so fucking wrong, but I can’t stop tasting her, can’t stop breathing into her with every ounce of air in my body.

I let her go for a second, thinking she’s changed her mind, but no, she’s even more ready than I am.

She stands up, fits her knees in between mine and slowly unbuttons her blouse.

My eyes are huge, I know it. I must look like an idiot but I can’t help it. She’s here, beautiful and curvaceous, teasing me, undressing for me. It’s all for me. She’s here for me.

The blouse floats to the floor and she looks down at me, a hint of previous nerves returning. Her bra is pale pink and covered in lace. Something so pure and innocent covering up something I would kill for.

I would, I realize. I would kill for her.

She wiggles out of her skirt and her hips are distracting. I want to touch, to feel my bones crushing into hers, to sink myself deep inside just to see what it’s like, to know her, to feel all of her.

“You like?” she asks, innocence ringing in her soft voice.

What happened in her past that would make her ask such a thing? Who hurt her so badly, who crushed her self esteem to the point that she wouldn’t be able to tell if I was enjoying her delicious display?

“Of course. You’re… absolutely stunning.”

I can’t say more or I’ll break. I reach for her and she slides into my lap, locking her thighs around mine. She presses down on me and my cock responds, all blood and logic rushing down to push back at her ass.

She wraps her hands around my neck and bends to kiss me. Her fingers tangle in my hair, she curls them, tugs gently, testing, enjoying. Her kisses deepen and her hips roll. I’m about to lose my mind.

“I’ve wanted to do this since the first day of class,” she moans, scraping her nails across my scalp.

The sensation is intoxicating and my eyes roll back a bit as she tugs hard. Her right hand is locked in my hair and her left is dragging down my chest. I should stop her. I should stand up. I should…

“Fuck.”

Her hand sneaks into my slacks and she scoots back onto my knees for better access. I can’t even think straight as she rubs at my cock. Her hand is soft, warm, firm. I know I’m moaning, but I can’t help it. I might just die here beneath her.

Her tongue glides across my lips. “So hard to sit in class and not dream about fucking you…”

Something snaps inside of me and I let go. I grab at her tits, peel the delicate lace down and pinch her nipples hard until she’s crying out and arching against me.

“I can’t even read anymore,” she admits, nearly breathless as my lips seal around her left nipple. “Every page makes me think of you. I can hear every word in your voice. I- oh God-”

I bite down just enough to stop her train of thought and I look up to see a blank, beautiful stare.

“I want you,” she whispers, lips never quite closing after.

Fuck. This is what I was trying to avoid. This feeling, this hunger inside of me. This need to fall into someone else, this treacherous lust that forces me to act.

“Please…”

Her hand falls to the nape of my neck and it’s so delicate, so tender that I break.

Wrapping my arms around her, I stand and twist, flipping her over onto her back. She gasps and reaches for me, kissing through the shock while I tug the slacks from my hips. She yanks at my shirt, fumbling with the tiny plastic buttons, licking at every new inch of exposed flesh.

“Want you inside me so bad,” she sings, nearly praying as if I’m some ancient god on high that can make all her dreams come true.

I don’t know about all of them, but this prayer, I can answer.

I tear the lace from her hips and fall down over her, crushing her into the old sofa. Her breath stops for a blessed second and I swear I can hear her heart racing through the silence. She runs her hands across my shoulders and down, curling them around my hips while spreading her legs wider.

“Please… Please… Please…”

Her whine is pathetic but I can’t get enough. If I had it in me to drag this out, to tease her for hours, I would, but the scotch has clouded my head and the sight of her strung out and desperate makes it impossible to wait.

She inhales hard when I sink into her. I can feel myself falling but I press my hands beside her head and hold on as best I can.

She feels like heaven.

Or the closest thing to heaven I’ll ever know.

Wet and warm and tight, I can feel her throbbing around me. Every thrust is like magic, making her shiver and squirm and tighten up even more. She clings to me, nails digging into my arms, mouth searching and thirsty for more.

“Jon-”

I almost go insane. It’s not even my name, but it feels so right on her lips that I wish it was.

I feel her orgasm; her body clenching down on me and pulling me in deeper. It’s so hard not to scream her name at the top of my lungs. Nearly impossible not to stay here forever.

I fall down, shove my face into the crook of her neck and thrust a few more times. I know it’s over too soon, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

She rakes her hand through my hair, gently this time, and finds my lips, kissing me sweetly.

“Hi,” she laughs when our eyes finally focus and find each other through the afterglow.

God, she’s beautiful. So giving, so loving, so perfect in a million different ways that it’s actually breaking my heart.

I smile and peck her lips as I go soft inside of her.

“Hello, You.”

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

@alwaystiredandconfused @babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @impalaspixie @jackles010378 @kazsrm67 @k-slla @leigh70 @lyarr24 @nancymcl @peachy-vans @pizzagirlxnsfwx @rachiem4-blog @sexyvixen7 @suckitands33 @the-wounded-healer05  

[jo-harrington]

Freaky Friday - A Stranger Things Story (Part 1)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Word Count: 3.5k

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, Eddie and Steve (Enemies to Friends)

Summary: Eddie thinks that Steve has everything in life handed to him on a silver platter (including his new girlfriend who Eddie has a crush on). And Steve just can't believe that the kids look up to Eddie the Freak, or that he lives his life without giving a single fuck.

Must be nice. But you know what they say, the grass is always greener.

Warnings/Themes: AU with no Upside Down. Body swapping, dark magic/alchemy, unrequited love--some crushes at least, Babysitter Steve, No Upside Down means slightly still King Steve, unresolved feelings, manipulation/deception, Reader gets a nickname (Honey), no Y/N if I can help it, no smut in Part 1 but liable to be in other chapters

Note: After a very hot and fast suggestion by @shiftingtherain, this mini-series was born. And instead of working on Store Manager Verse like I wanted to, here we are. This part is a little shorter...it's the intro, sue me. Next few parts will be a tad longer.

Credit for the header partially goes to me for the design and the logistics but I was tired, so I may have borrowed gifs from @emziess and Netflix itself as a jumping off point (with permission from Emzies and Netflix is a corporation so they can rot). I can only do so much guys, I also had to write this thing too.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

If Eddie never saw Steve Harrington again in his life, it would still be too soon.

He didn't always indulge in rentals from Family Video—if it was too cold and wet to have band practice in Gareth's garage, or if he was having an especially bad week at school, or if he needed something a little more realistic than the illustrations of Heavy Metal magazine to help him satisfy his needs—but today just had that special feel to it.

He'd gotten a B on his math test, Rick had been feeling a little under the weather and let Eddie make the rounds to his usuals for a sweet little cut, and he had found a dusty old book about alchemy and occultism at the library that was going to help him put the finishing touches on tomorrow night's Hellfire session.

For all of that, Eddie thought a little reward was in order.

A little Dark Crystal, a little pizza from Lou's, a little weed...he'd be having the best Thursday night.

Except...

For the past twenty minutes, he'd pretended to hem and haw over the selection of movies just so he could glare across the store at the counter, where Steve stood, flirting and making grandiose promises, with you.

He burned with jealousy, and God, it took almost everything in him not to gag as Steve reached across the counter to slyly hold your hand. And everything else for his heart not to break as you just let it happen.

Eddie didn't know how or when or why this started—when Harrington had gotten his claws into you and how he had managed to charm his way into your heart—when it should have been Eddie instead.

Eddie'd had a crush on you for years but had always been too nervous to do anything about it.

You were a year younger than him, and friends with his pal Mickey's younger sister, so he'd seen you around quite a bit. Smart and funny and pretty; maybe not as unpopular as Eddie was, but certainly not in the running for homecoming court or whatever other social hierarchies were in place at Hawkins High either. He figured...you know, maybe once he got to senior year he'd get the courage. Maybe take you to prom or something; who wouldn't want to go out with a senior?

But he'd gotten the notice from Higgins that he wouldn't be graduating with the rest of the Class of '84 and it really put a damper on his plans.

He had been hopeful again the following year, actually had a few classes with you and sat with you for partner work when no one else wanted to work with him, when they laughed at him. You weren't even afraid to go up to him in the cafeteria to ask a question, or walk with him in the hall if you had to go in the same direction for your next class. You'd talk about assignments mostly, but he savored every little fact he could learn about you. What books you'd been reading, the fact that you watched Svengoolie on Saturday nights—just like he did—or that you'd had some squabble with Mickey's sister over a scrunchie of all things and were no longer speaking.

But Eddie knew how bad his grades were—somehow even worse than the year before—and aside from the work you did with him, he knew it wasn't gonna be enough for him to graduate. So he wasn't gonna put himself in the position for you to laugh in his face—not that you would but...just in case you did—by asking you out.

He thought you would disappear from his life after you graduated. Get the hell out of Hawkins the way everyone else wanted to. But no. You took a few classes at the community college and worked the dinner shift at Benny's a few nights a week. You'd been there every Tuesday night, when he and the guys grabbed food after their gig at the Hideout. The usual booth reserved, drinks already poured by the time they sat down, and their usual orders already written in your little order pad.

You usually gave him extra whipped cream on his slice of cherry pie too.

The guys always urged him to ask for your number...but he never did. How could he? Even if you were stuck in this town the same way he was...he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

And now...here you were, listening to Harrington talk about some great surprise he had planned for your third date the next day.

Eddie wondered why you hadn't screamed in outrage when Steve mentioned how much Nancy Wheeler had liked it when he took her to this mystery place. He would have definitely expected you to at least flinch at the mention of his ex-girlfriend's name.

"It sounds really great," you said instead, smiling and nodding. "I get out of class at 3 on Fridays...should I be here around 4?"

"4 is perfect, honey," Steve grinned.

Eddie couldn't stand to hear whatever sickeningly sweet goodbye you both would come up with so he just grabbed whatever tape was in front of him and approached the counter. You and Steve both flinched when Eddie slammed his selections down on the counter to be checked out.

“Uh…I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bye Steve,” you muttered, eyeing Eddie with a half-smile that felt a bit sad. “Bye Eddie.”

"Bye honey."

“Bye honey,” Eddie mocked once you were out the door, then turned back to Steve. “You gonna try and make goo goo eyes at me next Harrington? I don’t have all day.”

“Jesus Munson. What’s up your ass?” Steve scoffed, grabbing the tapes.

“I’m just trying to get my videos and go.” Eddie rapped his knuckles on the counter. “Not really interested in the kind of customer service you're trying to provide."

Steve wondered what the likelihood of getting fired would be, if he just punched that smug look right off of Munson's face.

Keith hated the guy too, he always left the Adult section looking like a mess. Maybe Steve would get a promotion instead.

For years Eddie roamed around Hawkins being a general menace with his gaggle of friends. Causing trouble, shouting at people, making faces at old ladies. He’d gotten “taken in” to the police station one too many times but always seemed to make it out without actually being arrested. Which baffled Steve; Eddie was a drug dealer for crying out loud.

And yeah, Steve had even asked him to come and deal at a party or two but…people like that were bad. Simple as that.

Even after all of that, after you got past the “bad boy” persona….he was a fucking nerd. He wasn’t even cool like the bad boys in movies were. Steve felt like someone was tricking him the first time he had walked past the Hellfire Club’s table in the cafeteria. For all the leather and chains and band tees—all the talk of satanic rituals and blood sacrifices—there was sure a lot of talk about elves and…and bards and Star Wars.

So it shouldn’t have been a surprise to Steve that the kids would flock to Eddie by the time they made it to Hawkins High.

But it had been. A huge shock.

His unexpected little gaggle of morons…weren’t really his anymore.

Steve had dropped Dustin off on the first day of school and said “don’t get into any trouble.” Even made Robin promise to keep an eye out for him. He expected the kid to…join the mathletes or something. Get roped in with the science nerds.

But by the end of the week, the kids were all clamoring about how they would need to reschedule movie nights with Steve so they could go to Hellfire club with Eddie.

Steve couldn’t understand it. Eddie was a freak, a punk, some good for nothing…and now the kids were suddenly following him like he was some sort of prophet. Spreading the word of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

See? Steve could do the nerd talk too when he wanted...thanks to Dustin.

Who, much to Steve's annoyance, was apparently Eddie's biggest fan. The guy could do no wrong in Dustin's eyes, and it really irked Steve.

Will and Lucas were spending Saturdays at the library—not for homework, but for research because apparently Eddie really liked incorporating mythology into his campaigns. (Whatever that meant.) Mike was growing his hair out because "Eddie's hair was cool.” What about Steve, whose literal nickname was The Hair? Shit, he'd even seen Eddie give Max a ride to school on a few occasions when he was late dropping Robin off. And he knew Max and her mom had been having a hard time since her step-dad skipped town and Billy...

Steve knew some of the town gossip about Eddie was just a bunch of bullshit...but if Max Mayfield was cool with him?

Yeah, he just couldn't help but be suspicious of the guy.

Regardless, the sooner Steve could get him out of the store, the better his night was gonna get.

...actually...

"That's gonna be $10." Steve announced dryly.

"Woah, $10?!" Eddie scoffed. "I have a membership."

"Since when?" Steve asked, hands immediately landing on his hips.

"I use one every time I'm in here."

"Yeah you use Reefer Rick's."

"So?"

"New policy," Steve lied, hoping it would get Eddie out of his hair for a good while. "No sharing memberships outside of your family. Last I checked, your last name isn't Lipton. So you either cough up the $25 for a new membership Munson, or the $10 for your rental. What's it gonna be?"

Eddie grumbled and dug his wallet out of his pocket, slamming the money on the counter.

"Any candy?" Steve asked mockingly before grabbing the cash.

Eddie grabbed the tape and grumbled under his breath as he exited the store.

Yeah, Steve wasn't gonna be dealing with him any time soon.

For a second though, as he went to start processing returns, he wondered...

If Eddie was in some ritualistic cult...what kind of curse could he possibly put on me?

But that was a dumb thought to have.

Eddie's night just went down hill from the minute he left Family Video.

He didn't notice that they'd given him the wrong pizza at Lou's so now he was stuck with some specialty veggie pie with broccoli on it, the tape he had grabbed indiscriminately had been some artsy foreign romance crap, and just now he'd just spilled Dr. Pepper all over his Hellfire notebook.

"Fuck," he shouted as it spilled over the side of the coffee table and onto his sock-clad feet. He couldn't give a shit about the carpet, he could even ignore his wet socks, but his notebook. Weeks of work, planning and toiling over the most sadistic campaign.

He liked to keep all of the notes of Hellfire's completed campaigns, a sort of...record for future kids to look back on and reference. And now this specific masterpiece would be lost to memory.

He cleaned everything up as best he could before making a quick trip back to his room for an extra notebook or something he could use to salvage his plans for tomorrow's session. He had always been really bad at...keeping spare notebooks on hand. Even the ones he'd used for class always ended up covered in his drawings or notes, little bits and ideas of dialogue he could use for speeches or NPCs.

The best he could find was his math notebook from last year which, surprisingly, sat relatively untouched.

Eddie knew why: that was a class he shared with you. And as he opened to some random mostly-empty page, he saw his little scribbles in the margins surrounding half-faded, penciled-in algebraic equations. Daggers and hearts and his and your initials intertwined together.

It was the one class where he would never encounter partner work with you, so he felt compelled to fill the pages with his daydreams instead of fantasies and lore. You would never see it.

"Well," he huffed as he dropped back down onto the floor and slapped the notebook onto the coffee table. He grabbed his pen and scribbled over the drawings on the page. "Now that she's with Harrington, no use living in this fantasy. Fuck, I was stupid, so stupid to ever think she would want anything to do with me."

He grabbed the dusty old alchemical book from the library and found his place, staring at old sigils and runes and text indiscriminately until he came upon one that looked too perfect for the campaign. Concentric circles, arcane lettering, angular lines...

While Eddie would usually use a clean page for something like this—something he would hand off to his players—he drew a copy of the sigil onto the page and planned to rip the edges off, maybe singe them with his lighter to make it look more authentic.

He kept staring at the still-noticeable doodles beneath the pen scribbles and his heart ached a little in his chest.

Yeah, he would definitely want to burn those too.

By the time he was done copying the sigil, a wave of exhaustion overtook him and he glanced down at his watch.

It wasn't much later than he usually went to bed on a weeknight...

He stared at the half-ruined notes for tomorrow's session that he still needed to rewrite and sighed.

"Fuck it, I'll just redo them in the morning." He got up and stretched his arms over his head. "I can just sleep in tomorrow. Skip class. Show up for Hellfire. Who cares anymore.”

He put the rest of the pizza in the fridge for Wayne and then headed to bed, only to be plagued with dreams of scribbled out love hearts, movie theater candy, guitar solos, and big red gum.

When Eddie woke up the next morning, he felt...honestly felt like he was floating on a cloud. Every muscle in his body felt looser, yet somehow tighter at the same time. His skin felt tighter, like it wasn't right, like it didn't fit somehow, it was suffocating him.

He must have died but he wasn't quite sure if this was heaven or hell.

His eyes burned and blurred slightly as he opened them and what he saw was...unexpected.

Gone were the off-white walls, his posters, the piles of his crap, and that concerning patch of probably-mold in the corner of the ceiling. Instead there was a sturdy ceiling, plaid-papered walls, and matching curtains?

Eddie groaned and rolled over.

What the fuck was this place?

There was a slam of a door somewhere that practically shook the walls surrounding Eddie and as he sat up, he found himself only wearing...briefs? He didn't wear briefs.

This wasn’t his bed, wasn’t his room…wasn’t his… body?

He looked down at his chest, his arms, his hands…his fingers weren’t right, he didn’t have this many freckles and moles, he didn’t have…abs, if that’s what you could call the slight definition on his torso. Still it was more than his body had ever had. His skin…was itchy and mostly hairless.

Eddie reached up and touches his hair—shorter than he was used to, not curly…at all—then his face, as if that was any indicator to what he—

“A mirror!” He exclaimed. His voice…sounded familiar, but different. Fuck what kind of dream was this?

Because it had to be a dream right? It had to be. How else did he wake up in someone else’s body?

He pushed himself out of the bed, walking slightly off-cadence, which…yeah probably came with the territory of your brain needing to get used to a new body. Fuck…was his brain even his brain or did his mind just get transported what was happening?

Ugh it was too early to think about that.

Eddie slowly cracked the bedroom door open and peaked into the rest of the house. He spotted a bathroom just across the way, otherwise…shit, this place actually looked a little familiar. Where the fuck was he? Who the fuck was he?

He quickly crossed the landing into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. He heaved a breath and leaned back against the door for a moment to calm himself; his hands were shaking and felt cold. Could he even feel his fingers? Nice to know the occasional nervousness that snuck up on him at his lowest moments hadn’t been left behind in his old body, that they’d followed him to this one.

His body…would it still be in his bed? What if he really had died and…had jumped into his new body? Was this reincarnation?

Fuck, if he was dead…Wayne would find him. Could he even…see his uncle again? How could he ever explain who he was?

Eddie felt the tears prick his eyes and his throat tighten and he slapped his face a few times.

“Come on man, come on,” he muttered. “It’s not that bad. It’s only…mildly awful. Fuck, ok. Just go, just look, just…rip it off like a bandaid.”

Eddie took a deep breath and nodded, then crossed the short distance to stand in front of the sink. He stared at his new feet, wiggled his new toes. You never…appreciated the toes you had until you have new ones.

That was awful and you’re an idiot. Just look.

Eddie closed his eyes again and turned his face up towards the mirror. He could do it. He would do it.

He opened his eyes.

“Jesus H. Christ!”

Steve woke up feeling like absolute shit. Everything ached—like he had pulled a muscle or something by sleeping crookedly—he had awful cottonmouth, and he had inhaled…some yarn or something because he woke up coughing and gagging until he got the intrusive strands out of his mouth.

“Gahh, shit, shit,” he said and scratched at his throat. He sounded hoarse. Ugh was he getting sick? He’d have to ask his mom to bring home some soup or something.

Could he call out of work? Shit he had to take Robin to school. She could walk today, he felt awful.

Steve blinked his eyes open and took in the unfamiliar popcorn ceiling with growing concern.

He looked around at the…piles of garbage and the cracks in the plaster walls partially covered by band posters...and felt the rise of panic grow within him. He tried to recall the night before.

He’d wrapped up his shift at Family Video, gone home and had a rare dinner with both of his parents, then…felt extremely tired and went to bed.

So how did he end up here…wherever here was?

This was a kidnapping; it had to be. He was…drugged—explained the cottonmouth—and kidnapped. And now someone was holding him for ransom or something to…blackmail his father? Thomas Harrington was kind of a dick sometimes, sure, but still…he was a pretty decent guy. Who would want to blackmail him?

“H-hello?” Steve called out. “Anyone there? C-can anyone hear me?”

There was some shuffling outside of the door of the room.

Thankfully Steve wasn’t tied up or anything. God, what kind of kidnappers were these? He quickly glanced around the room for a weapon of some sort and he immediately spotted...

A guitar? A few guitars actually. Man these kidnappers really liked music huh?

One was a weird shape--he'd seen some hair metal bands use guitars like that in magazines, but he'd never seen one in person--and was a mottled red color. One was just what you'd expect when someone said "electric guitar." And one was acoustic and looked like it could pack a real wallop.

Bingo.

Steve pushed himself out of the bed and immediately jumped because whatever had been in his mouth was on his shoulders now. He reached up to grab it: hair. Long, wavy, messy...knotty and frizzy. Like it hadn't been brushed for days, maybe weeks?

And his arm, sticking out from whatever t-shirt he'd been put in...was lithe and weak and there were tattoos. On both arms. A creepy claw hand and a bunch of bats.

What was this? How long had they held him hostage for? No wonder they didn't feel the need to tie him up! He'd been knocked out cold.

He needed to get out of here. Now. He needed to get home.

Steve crossed the room to grab the guitar when he noticed it. At first he thought it was another person. But no, it was just a mirror...and in the mirror...his reflection.

Only it wasn't...his reflection.

It had startled him and he had jumped. Then he moved his arms a little and watched the figure in the mirror mimic him. Over and over.

A wave, a turn, a funny face.

He couldn’t believe it. This had to be a joke. A dream. A nightmare.

Because it was him, his reflection. But it was not his—Steve Harrington’s—reflection.

It was Eddie Munson's.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 킹덤/Kingdom.

Kingdom is a 2019-2020 Netflix series set in Joseon-era Korea, following the collaborative adventures of an exiled prince, a country doctor, and a scrappy mercenary who's pretty much the only one in this entire zombie outbreak who has a damn gun.

I have very complicated feelings about zombie media. See, in case you hadn't noticed, horror movies are never actually about what they're about. And a whole lot of modern zombie stories wind up being a) metaphors for fears of immigration by mindless subhuman hordes hell-bent on infecting the good, pure people, b) white male fantasies about how the downfall of civilization will put them back on top again and then all you DEI people will be sorry! and/or c) ways to let your protagonists just kill the shit out of a whole lot of humans but it's okay because they're not really human. Soooo yeah. A lot of zombie-flavored things I like, I have to like them despite all that.

But Korean zombie media tends to avoid a lot of these issues. (Maybe because Korea's experience with invasion is less Fox News Lies About Scary Brown Migrant Caravan Again and more [long list of actual historical incidents]? Who can say!) Kingdom is no exception. It's smart zombie fiction, where the zombies are mostly here to make the already-complicated mundane geopolitical situation just that much more of a fucking nightmare.

This is a bloody, violent, grimy, often downright gross drama, so if you're squeamish, you may want to pass on this. If you're into horror, though, and into zombie horror especially, go on and sink your teeth right into these five reasons I think you should watch it.

1. No one here has ever seen a zombie movie

You know how one of the frustrating things about watching a zombie property is seeing a bunch of otherwise competent, regular people act like they had all their cultural awareness of zombies surgically removed, down to making up cute words that aren't "zombie" to keep from saying the word "zombie"?

Everybody in this show has the excuse that they are living several centuries before even the possibility of zombie movies.

This story starts out pretty standard for a historical drama: a sick king, a pregnant queen, a crown prince in a precarious position, questions of succession, accusations of treason, wealth and class dynamics oppressing the poor, shady backroom politics -- you know, the usual stuff. And it never stops being about all that! It just also has zombies. Evil bastards don't stop being evil just because decomposing hordes are breaking down the door. In fact, that just makes them worse! And our heroes are at ends because they have no natural immunity to the genre they've walked into.

Sure, there are some moments of comic relief, but for the most part, Kingdom plays its premise absolutely straight-faced. How would 17th-century Koreans deal with a bunch of walking corpses? With period-appropriate tools, tactics, and mindsets!

In your standard modern zombie setup, everybody has guns, and then some special badass rolls in with a katana and everyone oohs and ahhs. In Kingdom, the wealthy have swords, the common folk maybe have farm implements, and there's one measly matchlock rifle in the party. For a few lucky headshots, you've got archers. For everyone else, things are about to get real up close and personal.

The characters also have period-appropriate worldviews that both inform their reactions to the problem and are frankly bizarre by modern standards. What if you had to deal with zombies in a place with cultural taboos against dismembering or burning dead bodies? What if people felt compelled to treat the corpses of peasants differently from corpses of nobles? What if the scholars won't act in their own defense because it's insulting to ask them to wield weapons? What if you can't ask certain important people certain questions because it's literally treason to do so?

The real moral of Kingdom is that there's not a situation so bad that devotion to Confucian principles can't make it worse.

2. That scrappy bastard

I'm not going to play favorites here-- Wait, what am I saying, of course I am. It's Yeongshin.

You know how, in any given zombie movie, your hapless protagonists survive because early on they find a party member who's about ten levels higher than they are? That's Yeongshin. He's cagey as hell about his shady past -- to the point where we don't even learn his actual name -- but he's going to come in real handy here, because he is also the aforementioned only guy with a gun, and he fucking knows how to use it.

And okay, I'm exaggerating about the gun shortage, but not by much. Firearms are rare, you need training to be able to operate them, and no matter how good you are, they still take time to reload after each shot -- if they even fire at all. (Also, ignore the part where everyone's aim is far better than shitty matchlock rifling should allow.) Guns are not the go-to weapon in this zombie situation. You can't just shove a bunch of pistols in everybody's hands and count on at least a few lucky shots. You could amass all the period-appropriate firepower you wanted, but without specialists, it'd be useless.

Yeongshin is fueled by some very reasonable guilt, since, uh, a nonzero amount of the shit that goes down is kiiiiiinda his fault. But I love that instead of giving him a death wish, it makes him even more determined to survive and do what he can to mitigate the fallout of his unintentionally terrible decisions. He knows he's far more useful alive, so to hell with taking the easy way out. Whether his opponents are living or undead, he's going to make them wish they hadn't messed with him.

This is a good place to note that the whole cast is great, from the thunder-voiced head of the evil family to the prince's wife-guy manservant to the doll-faced bitch queen. And obviously Ju Jihoon and Bae Doona are captivating every second they're on the screen, because they are absolute acting powerhouses and I love to watch them work. His Prince Lee Chang and her physician Seobi are compelling, memorable main characters who perform the important zombie-movie function of being the people you care about when they get put into dangerous situations.

But I walked away from this unable to stop thinking about Yeongshin. Bare-headed in a world of very meaningful (and often very silly) hats, he's feral and bitey and completely unfit for polite society. So of course he's going to wind up side-by-side with the second most you-need-to-be-respectful-to-him guy in the land.

More than anything, I love watching him work. He's a very physical character, but all his stats are in speed and agility, so he will just literally throw himself full-body against doors or into fights and let his momentum do the work. His actor, the handsomely exhausted-looking Kim Sungkyu, brings such a great physicality to the role. Yeongshin may be the Gun Guy, but he's not sniping from the back row. He's right there on the front lines, pulling off stunts none of the other characters would dream of trying. I cannot stress enough what a delight his action sequences are. It's such a good visual counterpart to the zombies, who also have no sense of bodily self-preservation.

And speaking of the zombies...

3. Zombie rules

I find that Korean zombie properties are the best in particular at zombie physics. Their directors seem very interested in pondering exactly what the weight of that many bodies would do. The answer is usually pretty gruesome and visually fascinating!

Kingdom's main use of zombies is by volume. While there are a few (memorable!) one-on-one scenes, the show delights in seeing just how many zombies it can fit in the frame. The danger is always from the sheer number of hostile bodies. You can use those numbers against them, if you're clever, but wait too long and you run the risk of being completely overwhelmed.

I've seen some people criticize the zombie extras by accusing them of not moving like zombies, which is the kind of nonsense you say when your only exposure to zombies is Slow Zombies. Kingdom's zombies are Fast Zombies -- they don't shamble, they swarm. They all just plow on full speed ahead until something stops them, and they definitely don't watch where they're going. Those extras do some incredible work flinging their bodies over obstacles and into solid objects. I sure hope one of the benefits of all that voluminous period-appropriate costuming is how much good padding you can probably stuff under there.

Continuing the thought exercise about what a 17th-century zombie outbreak would look like, Kingdom does some clever things with putting humans and zombies alike in situations you wouldn't find in the modern world, ones made possible only by the time period. I really like that it never forgets that part of the fun of this whole enterprise is making the best of the social and technological concepts that would have been present then. It doesn't feel like a modern zombie movie with incidental hanbok -- it actually makes the most of what a rural medieval setting both gives and takes away.

The rules Kingdom makes for its zombies are also an interesting take. You, the modern viewer, know how zombies work in general, but you don't know all the quirks of these zombies in particular, so you're learning at the same time the characters are. And sometimes you learn wrong! Sometimes you have to rewrite your whole strategy because you realize at a critical moment that both you and the characters misunderstood something very badly.

...And yeah, okay, it plays a little fast and loose with those rules sometimes, but so what? You know how this works! You know that the lead actors will dodge more and get bitten less than the random extras will. You know that named characters will last longer than their NPC counterparts. If you're going to hold that against it, maybe horror movies aren't the thing for you. Go do a Rubik's Cube or something.

4. The parts without zombies

Plenty, plenty of people have made the Game of Thrones comparison, which ... yeah, sure, I can see it. It wouldn't have been my first thought, but I get where people are coming from. And you know what, if you're a Game of Thrones enjoyer, you'll probably like this too. It hits a lot of the same beats and has a lot of the same vibes. It's kind of like if you shrunk Game of Thrones in the wash, until there were only two warring families and not a conlang in sight.

This show isn't historically accurate to the letter -- think of it more as AU Joseon-Era Korea, where specific people are fictional but the larger context is more or less the way things would have been. You never get given a specific year, but from technology and various context clues, you can kinda narrow it down to the 1600s. It never commits to a single year, though, which dodges a lot of nitpicks. Its fictional aspects are nice, too, because that means you don't have to know any real history at all. The show will give you all the information you need to understand the campaign setting, just in case your knowledge of medieval Korean dynasties is not up to snuff.

The conceit of the series is that some very specific devious political backstabbing and corruption has been happening since before the show began, making everything vulnerable to catastrophe. Unsurprisingly, the sudden appearance of zombies does not magically mend those rifts and make everyone come together! In fact, the reason the zombies are happening at all is related to these treasonous power plays, and while we never learn the full story (see my later note on the drama's ending), we get a whole lot of it. And it's a good, complicated reason! Here we return to the idea that zombie movies are always metaphors for something else. Set against the backdrop of multiple Japanese invasions during this period, Kingdom sure does have some things to say about the dangers of considering certain lives disposable in the service of the greater good.

I will be the first to say that IT TURNED OUT MAN WAS THE REAL MONSTER ALL ALONG storylines are tedious, so I'm glad Kingdom didn't decide it needed to beat that drum. The truth is, nobody's surprised when the bastards who have treated other people like shit all their lives continue being bastards in a crisis situation. It's the Joseon Dynasty. Everybody's locked into a rigid neo-Confucianist hierarchy. They don't need an apocalypse to reveal how much the people at the top would sell them all for a single corn chip. They've been clear on that one for a long time.

What this means is, if you're not traditionally someone who goes in for zombie horror, but you like a good political thriller and can roll with some supernatural elements, you might consider giving this one a shot anyway! It's not some hugely complicated and sophisticated plot, but it's still plenty to chew on. (See what I did there?)

5. Time to spend that Netflix money!

This show is gorgeous. It looks beautiful and it sounds beautiful. It's shot beautifully against beautiful sets and even more beautiful landscapes. Everyone's wearing beautiful costumes. What little CG there is is even beautiful. It's just visually a treat.

Light is such an important part of the show that I can't not comment on Kingdom's use of it, production-wise. The show is often shadowy as hell, but in a high-contrast way, as opposed to the awkward near-blackness of so much prestige TV. Even when it's dark enough that faces and details are obscured, there are still light sources that provide visual interest. Besides, I'll cut it some slack because it is a horror property. You should be watching it in a dark room anyway! And sure, there's some awkward day-for-night stuff, and transitions around sunset can be downright goofy, but if that's the worst of the jank we have to suffer through, it's fine.

As beautiful as it is, it's also very ugly. The story takes place over a period of time so short that barely anyone has time to change their clothes, much less take a bath. The grime just accumulates: sweat, dust, mud, sewage, smoke, spit, and all kinds of blood and viscera. By the time the story's done, everyone looks realistically beat to shit. (Bless those poor makeup artists, having to keep such close track of all the damage characters have suffered.)

I feel as though I should note for context that while I'm a horror movie fan, I'm still pretty squeamish when it comes to gore. I made it through Kingdom okay, but there were definitely parts I had to watch through my fingers. It hits the realism middle ground that gives me the wiggins, where it's neither absurdly chaste about bloodletting nor dumping comedic buckets of corn syrup on the actors. It suits the tone of the show perfectly! Just, you know, if you're a little tender (like I am), be ready to look away from the screen sometimes.

Korean historical dramas sure do have a real advantage on the wig front, in that most everyone is wearing some kind of historically appropriate hat or headband that covers the places their wig joins. And then you have Yeongshin, who looks so good all shaggy because that's clearly at least mostly Kim Sungkyu's real hair.

I've seen a lot of shitty low-budget horror in my day, sure -- but I've also seen a lot of shitty high-budget horror, where a production has a lot of money and spends it all on exactly the wrong things. Kingdom uses its funds wisely. It's not extravagant (except for the queen's amazing outfits). There are practical effects aplenty and some beautifully framed shots. It gets a little gimmicky with the camera work in season 2, but you know what? It's fun! The gimmicks are action-movie fun, and I will not criticize something for having fun in the midst of some otherwise grisly subject material.

It's also got great rewatch value. There are just enough secrets running throughout that going back for a second viewing makes a lot of things make more sense -- in, of course, a horrible way! But that's just the way we like it.

caveat: Beware of cliffhangers

The show is two seasons long, and it's clearly set up in expectation of a third season ... which never happened. What did happen was a separate, largely unsatisfying movie that tells the backstory of the cool character you meet in the last ten seconds of the last episode.

But that's it. There was also a prince-focused prequel planned, but that got scrapped before production even began, and that was four years ago. I'm not holding out much hope that we'll ever get anything more from the Kingdom universe.

I am not super-bothered by this, though, and here's why: The two seasons are enough to wrap up the main political plot. Most of what's left is zombie lore, and I am so bored by zombie lore. Still, would I have watched these characters roll around in that zombie lore for another six episodes? Without question! Are there loose ends I wish had gotten resolved? You better believe it! Do I want to know what the super-duper secret behind the zombies is? I sure do!

But I also don't feel like I got cheated out of an ending. Those two seasons hang on a story that's 90% the political succession crisis and 10% figuring out where on earth this whole zombie thing came from. That means what you get feels like 90% of an ending, which is pretty damn good by my standards.

Still, it's enough of a bummer that I feel I should give a little heads-up about it -- working, as I always do, on the principle that something can't disappoint you if you know it's coming. If you go in with the right mindset, you can be happy with what you get while not being sad about what you don't. And what you get in Kingdom is, in my little horror-loving opinion, worth it.

(Also, am I giving it extra credit points for how it did not sink my ship? Buddy, you better fucking believe I am.)

Ready to watch?

Netflix money means Netflix. It's got two seasons, and then you can make the decision about how much you care about the movie. I found it mostly disappointing with a few really cool moments, so it's your call if that's enough to justify your watching it.

The series itself is a pretty quick watch, too -- twelve episodes total, all 30-50 minutes long once you skip the opening and closing credits. You can blow through the whole thing easily in a single weekend, which is not something you can say about your standard Korean television season of sixteen hour-long episodes.

And then pretty please come back and do fan stuff for it! I couldn't find exactly what I wanted so I had to write my own. One Quiet Night remains one of my comfort fics that I self-soothe by rereading, which may be a weird thing to say about a smutty gay fanfic about a violent zombie drama, but hey, we all make our own fun.

Also, I know I usually end these with a cute behind-the-scenes photo, but this promo video is too adorable to leave out, so we're going with it instead. It's slightly spoilery for season 1, but not in a way that makes sense out of context. And if you didn't have a crush on Kim Sungkyu already, well, you will after this!

[bluedillylee]

Hexer episode 6

Don’t you hate when you’re trying to dramatically storm off and then some stupid monster interrupts you? Poor Pavetta 😅

oh you know mousesack is the coolest dude here cause his beard is the biggest. He’s got a little ra ra rasputin vibe going on

oh damn did she get poisoned I thought she just fainted sorry girl I wasn’t judging u for fainting from the puppet. We all been there.

hahaha Geralt telling them not to drain her blood with leeches.

Ah Calanthe wants Geralt to come kill Duny for her. I fucking wish that creep got killed. I’m pretty sure that little worm survives the end of the book series now that I think about it 😤 dammit Geralt 😩

aw shit everything between Calanthe and Pavetta just hurts. All the ways that Pavetta is just totally abandoned by her mother in service to the kingdom it’s like she was groomed to be the perfect victim for Duny/Emhyr to take advantage of. She’s starved for love and desperately wants someone to think she matters. I feel like we get to see so little of Pavetta, she’s barely a character in the books and we didn’t get a lot in the Netflix show. I’m excited to see what else happens this episode with her.

Huh so she doesn’t suspect about Duny yet she thinks a creature is prowling the castle? In the books wasn’t that Duny and Pavetta having sex? oh I love how how clever Calanthe is in this. She gathers all this info on Geralt and then does all she can to set herself up to look like the most reasonable side I love it. It’s such a great way to show her political performance skills in just a few minutes to the audience. She’s keeping the child of surprise claim hidden from Geralt and trying to make sure he’ll kill Duny by telling him he has a monster form. Everything she does is very clever here and I love it

Pavetta doing magic is so funny. Go girl make that witcher so constipated.

ok well I was going to say that no woman likes hearing a man say another woman’s name but this one seems to be into it? Damn and she’s very patriotic do it for cintra!

hold on now I just got the ick actually Geralt thought that was Yennefer the whole time. You ever get so caught up it watching a beautiful woman unbutton her dress that you forget they’re depicting an assault? Err yikes 😬

damn now with Pavetta talking to him I feel like it’s created such an interesting and complex situation. Inadvertently Pavetta ‘magically’ drugged Geralt someone else came along and took advantage of him in that vulnerable position. Pavetta only did that to Geralt because magically sleep spelling the people around her in the only control she has in her fucked up situation.

like it’s messed up but it’s interesting to think about. I kinda wish I were a writer just because I feel like there’s stuff to dig into there but words are not my medium. Idk I am rotating these two in my mind.

ooo yes show your contempt for him Geralt heh heh

god this dude is full of shit ‘I don’t remember now’ bullshit you planned it

you fucked her to strengthen your claim- 😤🤬😬 I’m evil now I’m entering the story Pavetta I’m going to woo you so so niceys don’t even worry about that that bonefire over-there that smells like hedgehog I’ve got chocolate and animal crossing on god well get you some therapy Come live with me it’ll be awesome.

Hmmm this is different from the books with virgins not being able to do magic. I remember ciri having a conversation with Yennefer and being worried about being a virgin effecting her magical ability but yen telling her that was silly

Pavetta is so lonely all Duny has to do is the bare minimum for her to feel like she’s in love.

Calanthe is so fascinating. A terrible mother a brilliant queen. Smart yet has a temper that can undermine her.

Geralt’s advice is interesting. It’s smart quick thinking but also it fails to think long term which are what Duny/Emhyr’s goals actually are.

also love that his advice was ur a hottie get married

noooo don’t seat Geralt next to creepy lady

wooo eist and Calanthe are getting married yay

omg the creep wants to talk to Geralt about it. Who tf is this aurora lady the creepyness is off the charts

wow hedgehog Duny looks terrible

the only thing wrong with the Pavetta scream scene is that they could have gone harder on the telanova sort of vibe to it. There should have been more scene transitions and wipes.

hahaha Calanthe is the lion of cintra with hair like that

always this interesting push/pull dynamic with Calanthe and Geralt she tells him she’ll keep him in her heart but also confirms that witchers can’t ask anything of kings. I feel like I can’t quite be sure if it’s real or not. Maybe in spite of herself Calanthe does feel a connection with Geralt (not necessarily romantic or even something that would stop her from using him but something you know)

Duny just could let him go without one last jab huh? This is fate

Episode 6: Calanthe link to the episode

[that-irishman-fan]

one piece characters that give off bisexual energy part one!

( GIF is not mine, it belongs to @snippychicke and neither is One Piece or its characters mine in any way! )

Kuro/Klahadore

Arc: Syrup Village, East Blue, Vols. 3-5, Chapters 23-44

Headcanon: Kuro is bisexual biromantic, but I can also see him being sapiosexual too.

Thie Machiavellian butler himself serves both tea and cunt as the first contender in this series! Kuro was always interesting to me as a twelve-year-old reading One Piece for the first time. He was definitely a highlight when I was uncertain about the story as a whole. ( Keep in mind One Piece was the first manga and anime I fell in love with, after my grandparents had bought me the first volume from a flea market when we were visiting them on summer vacation. ) I've seen lots of people put him down as an antagonist for being a walking trope, lazily written, or just plain boring. I don't get it myself and I'll always be a Kuro stan. You couldn't have had a layered baddie such as Doflamingo or Orochi in such an early part of the story. It wouldn't have fit the tone. While there are some irksome qualities to Kuro and his motivations, I won't hop on that hate train saying he is somehow a terrible villain. Kuro was classy, snobbish, wicked smart, a scheming bad boy who I always pictured as belonging in Buckingham Palace laying out silverware for the royal family. Can I just say how fucking mental I went when they made his actor in the Netflix series English? I've always had a thing for villains, and he was no exception to me as a middle-schooler. I've had a plot bunny for a small one-shot involving Kuro as the main character; before he betrayed Kaya, just about his daily routine as a butler. I find anything to do with butlers to be absolutely fascinating-- I'm showing my autism and ADHD here. In it I wanted to write Kuro as being explicitly bisexual. I can't really explain why I get a gay aura off of him. Perhaps it's queer coding, a subconscious recognition or gaydar, or just me being ridiculous. I really got it when I reread East Blue again recently, and after I saw the live-action. The latter had a HUGE part in forming my opinion on Kuro being bi. This is more me joking, but can we agree being a cat person is inherently queer? I think either he's really overkill with the whole black cat theme, or there's something else going on. I also want to add I'm firmly convinced he'd be sapiosexual too. This is a man who prioritizes intelligence as a both strength and virtue. You can't tell me he wouldn't be looking for smarts as the defining trait in a significant other; somebody to match his own wit. Some characters I've chosen for these headcanons won't fit into one easy box, which is true to life as we don't all think, love, or view things the same way. I want to make sure I'm showing representation and diversity to our beautiful community, no matter how we identify.

So yes, Kuro/Klahadore is bisexual biromantic and sapiosexual in my mind! I should quickly write as an aside that I won't be going in any particular order with these posts. So, we'll be jumping across arcs to all kinds of characters. With that, thank you all for reading this, please let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your thoughts. Have a fantastic rest of your weekend and take it easy!

[entropiceye1342]

Spoiler free review for Netflix's live action One Piece!

WOW.

A lot of stuff to love! I absolutely ADORE this take on the adventure of the Straw Hat Pirates!

The Straw Hats are all cast perfectly, the supporting cast is spot on. Everyone NAILS their characters!

Give the man a crown!

Iñaki Godoy as Luffy is goofy and oblivious in all the right ways. He sticks the perfect landing of the emotional intelligence that was crucial to bring the deeper side of Luffy to life, and doesn't neglect the hyperactive child side either! Seeing him gleefully bounce around - both in and out of fights- was special. The CGI was pretty good! Better than I expected, really. I appreciate making Luffy a little more level-headed, it's a good choice to tone down the chaos goblin for live action 🤣

It was magnificent to see Luffy grow into a "real" pirate in this arc, and he will be the KING!

Mackenyu as Zoro is a bit "too cool" but honestly I expected it to happen, people tend to overlook the fact that 90% of the time he's just as dumb as Luffy 🤷 but MAN is he cool. He really surpassed my expectations for the fight scenes, and did not skip on the brutality! 3 Sword Style was stunningly realized and incredible fun to watch- even without drawing a single blade!

His one liners and sarcasm are on point, ESPECIALLY regarding Sanji 🤣

Emily Rudd as Nami is INCREDIBLE. Smart as a whip and wily as ever, this cat burglar lands on her feet! In and out of combat, Nami is quick on her feet and with her wit. One Piece passes the Bechdel test once again, and her story is every bit the emotional powerhouse as its manga and anime counterparts- better in some moments! 'Nuff said.

Jacob Romero Gibson as Usopp is delightful, though unfortunately he doesn't get as much time to shine as the others. When he does though, it's fantastic!

He really got the little things down about the character without needing to be as over the top as his counterparts- a bullseye from the sniper!

Sanji is perfect as well, you can SEE the training Taz Skylar went through for the part, from the mouth watering food to the killer martial arts. Every bit as fun to watch as the rest of the Monster Trio! My expectations for him were already high, and he kicked them into the stratosphere.

I'm glad they toned down the flirting, they found the right balance and played it well. Sanji matches Zoro in the bickering spectacularly, an absolute must that exceeded my hopes in both of their performances.

I'm not gonna list everyone but because I love this stupid fucking clown:

Jeff Ward as Buggy is an absolute TREAT, I am a huge fan of this take on the character. The perfect storm of bumbling dipshit who wants to be taken seriously, but still pretty intimidating at times. LOVE it. His jokes are GOLD.

Speaking of! Gold Roger, the man who started it all! *mwah!* Dazzling performances from him AND the Marines.

The few nitpicks I have are minor, the childhood acting ranges from ok to abysmal, Lily Fisher as young Nami is a notable standout. Some of the "minor" characters suffer from wooden acting, but honestly that's about the worst of it.

The Fishmen look a little low budget in their early appearances, but are absolutely PERFECT when they are the ones in the spotlight. Absolutely phenomenal work from McKinley Belcher III, my biggest fear from this was Arlong being done wrong and he CRUSHED IT!

The soundtrack was rousing, it truly felt like a call to adventure! And above all the SET DESIGN 😭

They TRULY brought the world that Oda Senseii has been drawing for us all these years, to life.

And now, anime One Piece is trending on Netflix.

THE GREAT PIRATE ERA IS HERE!

Here's to hoping Netflix doesn't Netflix it 🍻

What did you think?

Especially if this is your introduction to One Piece, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

[animebw]

So the live action One Piece is really, really good.

I know, far from the first person to say it. But it really must be stressed how absolutely bonkers it is that One Piece, of all anime properties, is what breaks the live-action adaptation curse in the West. So many attempts at adapting far more live-action friendly stories like Death Note and Cowboy Bebop ended up complete disasters, and yet it's perhaps the most unabashedly cartoonish anime franchise, the one defined by how it takes advantage of drawing and animation to portray people, places and things that would be completely unfeasable in the real world, that shows how to translate this medium to live action without losing what makes it special in the first place. It's not a perfect adaptation, but it pretty much nails everything it needs to, capturing the heart of this story in all its most important moments and making smart changes that serve its new form as a binge-worthy Netflix drop. So let's talk about the things I liked, the few areas I think it fell short, and how I think future seasons should play out! Spoilers, obviously.

The Good:

-The most important thing to get right was the casting, and they nailed it: all the Straw Hats and their supporting cast are just about perfect. Inaki Godoy just is Luffy, Emily Rudd does a fantastic job shouldering the season's core emotional weight as Nami, Vincent Regan steals the show every time Garp is on screen, and Jeff Ward is an absolute riot as Buggy. Special shout-out as well to Morgan Davies for nailing Koby's expanded screen time.

-Speaking of, I love how Koby and Helmeppo's title-card story is fleshed out into a proper B-plot throughout this season. Following their journey under Garp's command is a perfect way to introduce us to the Navy's inner workings and the more explicitly political side of the story up front, as well as foreshadowing plenty of future story beats to come.

-The action. Is. So. Good. Thank god we're finally remembering how to film proper hand-to-hand brawls, cause every punch-up is a blast to watch.

-Luffy actually has more of an arc here than he does in the manga! Manga Luffy can be a pretty static character a lot of the time, which I know is kind of his appeal, but this adaptation gives him a bit more to work with as he grapples with the responsibility of being a captain and the consequences his mistakes can have for his crew.

-Seriously Buggy is so fucking funny they nailed him so perfectly

-Putting more of a focus on Nami's struggles throughout the season was a great way to give it more structure for a binge format. Her emotional journey is really the heart of this adaptation as we watch her go from a paraniod recluse to fully embracing the Straw Hats as her new family.

-One benefit to being live action and produced in America? Way, way less casual sexism. Dare I hope that future seasons will avoid ruining Sanji's character among other pitfalls Oda fell into? Fingers crossed!

-The production design is immaculate. It strikes the perfect balance between the wacky cartoonishness of One Piece's world and the demands of filming in live action.

-Fantastic soundtrack too! It knows just where to deploy instrumental renditions of We Are while charting its own musical identity.

The Bad

-Some of the dialogue is a liiiiiiittle cringey? I know dialogue has never been OP's strongest suit, but there are definitely a few moments that feel overly anachronistic and "how do you do fellow kids?" There's a moment Buggy jokes about toxic fandom that really made me roll my eyes (especially since the OP fandom has by and large really embraced this adaptation, so it comes off like a cheap shot at a demographic of haters that doesn't even really exist).

-While the camerawork and editing are pretty great, the color grading is very much... not. Can we please stop shooting everything in boring desaturated yellows and greys and start lighting our night scenes so we can actually see what's going on?

-Shockingly, it's the strongest parts from the manga- the backstories- that I feel suffered the most here. Some of that's due to most of the child actors not being that great, which, well, that's a risk you take with child actors. But it also cuts out a lot of the personal culpability that made a lot of those backstories so compelling? Like how Sanji used to be pretty wasteful with food until his experience stranded on an island taught him how important it was to respect every bite? That aspect of his character is completely missing in his flashback here.

-Hoo boy, they made some... choices with how they depicted Arlong's crew. I know the Fishmen are a big racism/discrimination metaphor, but between the trap music that plays whenever they show up, their overall "urban gangsta" fashion aesthetic and the design of Arlong Park, the fact Arlong himself is played by a black actor... there is some coding going on here, is my point. And considering how much I hated the direction this story arc went in Fishman Island, that does not give me confidence in this adaptation's ability to escape sucking just as much on that front.

Future Season Wish List:

Season 2: The Alabasta saga, starting with the arrival at Roguetown and ending with Vivi's send-off

Season 3: The Water Seven saga, maybe with a brief stop in Skypiea beforehand but not long enough to get bogged down in there like the manga did

Season 4: Possibly controversial, but I think this should take us to the timeskip. Spend an episode or two in Thriller Bark but cut out all the bullshit, one episode in Sabaody for the Shit Gets Real(tm) section, one episode in Amazon Lily, then onto Impel Down and the Marineford showdown, with one episode dedicated to the fallout of that battle and getting us to the timeskip.

Season 5: Big focus here should be Dressrosa IMO. If you must spend some time in Fishman Island then do it, probably don't need that much time in Punk Hazard since barely anything happens there, then get into the thick of Dressrosa.

Season 6: This should be the Wano season. One episode in Zou, maybe a couple in Whole Cake Island to set up Big Mom, (honestly we might not even need the extra Sanji backstory if this adaptation gets rid of his worst traits), then get straight into Wano so you have all the time you need for all those moving parts. Also, Gear 5 Luffy in live-action should just be him turning into his anime self Roger Rabbit style. Tell me that wouldn't rule.

[brizadeiro-doce]

Books I've read in 2023 and 2024

War and Peace:

Bro, I've only readed it cos of the fucking Peanuts Movie. This book is 90% rich Russians crying over nothing and 10% gayness. But listen, Pierre and Andrei had the most unspoken yaoi tension. Natasha was a mess, but like, same. I read this in class, and people looked at me like I brought a brick to school—which I kinda did. Leo’s toystore by warren pierce is my fav book. 10/10.

Don Quixote:

I wasn’t ready for this to actually be funny. Like, why is a 400-year-old book doing slapstick comedy better than Netflix? Don Quixote is peak delusional, and Sancho Panza is peak relatable. But seriously, Cervantes, did you need to make every scene 20 pages? I’m begging you to chill. I read it in class and almost snorted out loud multiple times. Would I reread it? Only if I needed to sound smart at a party.

The Metamorphosis:

Kafka really woke up one day and said, "What if life sucked even harder, but also you’re a bug?" Gregor Samsa deserved better; his family was trash, his boss was trash, and even his bug body was trash. I felt too seen with this one. Also, my copy came with The Hunger Artist and Letters to Father, so I got the full Kafka experience. Later, i ended up needing to choose a book to make a slide show 4 class, and i picked Metamorphosis. Read this in class(where else) and got hit with existential dread during math. 9/10.

The Stranger:

Camus really wrote a whole book about a guy who doesn’t care about anything, and honestly, iconic. But also, what was even the point? I don’t remember half of it because Meursault was just vibing through life, and I was vibing through the pages. I read it and suddenly felt like I should start smoking cigarettes and wearing sunglasses inside home. French people are built differently. Camus, bro, why did you make me feel both smart and stupid at the same time? 8/10.

The Catcher in the Rye:

Holden Caulfield is that kid in your class who thinks they’re the only one who’s ever been sad before. He is THE most annoying person you’ll ever meet, but also, I’m him, and he’s me. Salinger really wrote a whole book about a teenager complaining and made it iconic. I read this because of Submarine (2010), and now I kinda want to bully Holden. I hated how much I loved it, but also, why is Holden such a little hater? Go to therapy, bro. Or don’t. It’s funnier that way. The vibes were immaculate but also insufferable. Salinger, explain yourself. 10/10.

Les Misérables:

Okay, so Les Misérables was an experience. Javert and Valjean? They’re 100% gay. If you don’t see it, are you even reading? There’s no way these two aren’t just having a slow-burn, tragic love story on the side. The tension between them is palpable, and it’s practically fanfic material—Victor Hugo low-key wrote a gay love story that society wasn’t ready for. The fact that they never actually kiss or confess feels like a missed opportunity. Fantine deserved way better. Cosette, though… I can’t say I’m a fan. She’s kind of just there, being bland and perfect while everyone else’s lives fall apart. I felt zero connection to her character, especially when Marius was acting like he’s ready to throw it all away for her. Marius is my favorite character, though. 8/10.

[artisticdemon]

Lara Croft, my childhood hero

Lara Croft is a special character to me growing up. Tomb Raider Anniversary was the first game I ever played on PlayStation 2 back in 2007 and I was 6 years old. It was the first time I saw a female protagonist in a videogame and I looked up to her and wanted to become her. Then Angelina Jolie entered the picture with the live-action movies and that made my love for the character to reach new levels. She is my role model.

Then in 2013 I got the Tomb Raider Trilogy (Anniversary, Legend, Underworld) and I had the time of my life, I still play the trilogy to this day.

She is the embodiment of femme fatale. She is smart, ambitious, determined to achieve her goals, sassy, strong, sexy and just right down badass. I don't know why these traits made her a sex object, to be honest. Maybe when the character was introduced players and probably men just paid attention to her boobs and ass rather than just seeing a strong female character that can kick some ass. I hope you grew up a bit boys because, come on. Stop thinking with your dick it's fucking annoying.

The reboot didn't bother me as much as other people did because it was a new adventure and the origin story about how Lara Croft became the character we all know and love. Do I miss the old Lara? Yes of course but I would never curse the reboot. I will if they decide to keep her the way she is now.

The only problem I have with the reboot is how they took away her dual pistols, yes we had our moment with them when we killed Mathias but that was just fan service. I don't know why the bow and arrow became the default weapon so I'm praying that will change with the new games.

Also, a lot of people say in the reboot she just kills like there is no tomorrow and that just makes me laugh because she always killed the bad guys. You people seem to have forgotten Legend, Underworld and the first games. She kills or lures people into traps. Stop being crybabies for a sec and use your fucking brain to think.

Now this picture has caused a lot of problems among the fans. They say she looks like a man and honestly I don't see that. The only thing they took away are her lips. A bit of redesign is needed, I'm not gonna lie. If they want us to call this version Lara Croft but overall it's not a bad design. I still see Lara Croft and something tells me that this version will be closer to the OG version agewise and mentality-wise. I'm excited. I hope they don't fuck up the story though by going woke. And please bring back her lips.

And now I'm diving into the Netflix series, I'm excited about the series but that design is a no-no, a lot of people call it "Butch lesbian" or whatever that means and I hope they changed it fast because, as I said, Lara Croft is not a butch lesbian, she a femme fatale. So let's keep that in mind Netflix. Even the 2013 reboot was closer to the original design than the other two games.

And I'm gonna say it, I don't want them to make her a lesbian. I just don't, her sexuality shouldn't be the thing we grab on like moths to a flame but I don't want to make her a lesbian. I don't care if I get hate for this, you have your opinion, I have mine. I hope the writers and the audience leave her sexuality alone because that's not what Lara Croft is. She is an adventurer, a survivor, a femme fatale and a woman that takes shit from no one. Those are the characteristics we should focus on and not her sexuality.

Also I see that nowadays that's all what people care about in characters and you people can fuck off. If making your sexuality your whole personality is your thing and for some reason you want to push that to everyone and everything then stay the fuck away from people because you are being an annoying asshole. And everyone around you sees you that way so allow me to say it to you because they won't.

Anyway, next!

I really miss the gymnastic stuff we were doing in the old games, it was fun rolling and doing acrobatics so I hope they finally bring this back and the Croft Manor level! OH I LOVED THE CROFT MANOR!!! I was role-playing while playing. Like Lara had a routine before leaving for a mission and so on. And I have missed changing outfits. Legend has won in that department for me. Actually, Tomb Raider Legend is at the top of my list of favourite video games. I just love it!

I hope the next gen of Tomb Raider games brings us back the Lara Croft we all know and love and grew up with and were inspired by.

One day we will get our Lara Croft back.

[fancoloredglasses]

Inspector Gadget (Bumbling for Justice)

(Thanks to M. Acrylic)

[All images are owned by WildBrain Ltd. Please don’t sue me or sic Penny on me]

When you think of police shows, you think of brilliant detectives piecing together the clues to bring the villains to justice.

Aaaaaaaand then there’s Inspector Gadget.

Gadget (voiced by Get Smart alum Don Adams) is the world’s first bionic decective. His body is stuffed full of neat devices including extending arms, spring loaded legs, pop-out roller skates, a personal helicopter, and a parachute (really just an umbrella that somehow supports his weight)

His detective skills are...well, let’s be honest. He’s a fucking moron.

(Thanks to Official Pink Panther)

It’s clear the writers were inspired by the Inspector in The Pink Panther Show.

(Thanks to Looper)

...and the live action Inspector Clouseau (played by Peter Sellers) in the Pink Panther films.

Hell, in the pilot episode he even sported a Clouseau-esque mustache in the first episode (thankfully he used his Gadget Razor by the next one)

The only reason I can see he still has a job is due to...

...his niece Penny, who generally does all the sleuthing while Gadget is bumbling around.

...while her dog Brain keeps an eye on Gadget.

Every episode is pretty much the same.

Metro City Police Chief Quimby gives Gadget an assignment...

...on exploding paper for some reason. I’m not sure why, as that tactic always blows up in Chief Quimby’s face. Gadget’s assignments put him against the criminal organization known as MAD, headed by...

...Dr. Claw (along with his pet MadCat) Note that you only ever see Dr. Claw’s gauntleted hand. Throughout the episode Dr. Claw has his many agents trying to kill off Gadget as he bumbles around while Penny does the actual sleuthing and Brain does his best to keep Gadget alive (usually while being mistaken as a MAD agent by Gadget)

By the end of the episode, Penny manages to foil MAD’s plans and makes sure Gadget gets all of the credit.

Over the years there have been two live-action Inspector Gadget films. One was an origin story that starred Matthew Broderick (from Ferris Beuller’s Day Off), while the other was a direct-to-video release that didn’t. Both are available on Disney+ for the curious.

Netflix has also produced a new series that is a continuation of the original series.

If you would like to watch the original series, it’s available on Roku.

If you would like to see an episode reviewed, please let me know.

[khaleesiofalicante]

I was really fucking bored today and I looked at Andrew and went "so, hypothetical question... Let's say you have a wife, and another version of your wife comes from the future..."

And I basically told him the entire plot of lbaf LMAO. I know his attention is harder to mantain with stories, so rather than telling him the story like with Sarah, I involved him in it, and my god it was so fun!!!

It was like a little game with those options that lead you to others. It went from "would you want to be with that future version of your wife?" "your oldest son has always been in danger, and you thought your youngest was gonna be fine..." "your realize your son is in love with that person destined to kill your oldest.." "knowing this would save your child in every universe, would you..."

And it went for like two hours lol. From one question we went to so many others. It was like giving two versions. The one he was "living", and the story itself. Like, him saying he wouldn't have gotten angry at his youngest son (Arthur) for falling in love with the person destined to kill his oldest, rather than dissapointed, so he wouldn't have pushed him away, therefor he wouldn't have had the guilt of that when his youngest died. And he also said he wouldn't ask his wife (Other Max here hehe) to bring his son back knowing it could cause so much destruction (he was playing David here lmao)

And after he answered, I told him the "real" version, but still making it sound like he was living in it. Ngl, it was kinda confusing😂😂. idk how I can explain the whole plot of lbaf so easyly but I can't understand a simple ecuation for shit lmao. He was so fucking stressed at some point because he said it was so complicated and sad. But omg, he's so smart, if he was in lbaf, there would be no plot, because actually thinks!!!

He also stood on Sarah's side, saying David was a little crazy and a lot manipulative, and that Arthur was dumb in not telling them anything (don't worry, I protect my babies with my life 😤)

So yeah, add him to the list of people waiting for the story eagerly. He also said you were really smart and amazing for creating this plot and making it make sense and have such complicated emotions. He said something like "I don't even know everything about this story, and you just gave me a general synopsis, still and I am shocked and thrilled! Tell her she's awesome!! And read the next chapter faster because I want to know too what happens!!"

Your writing IS THAT FUCKING COOL!

First of all, this is a GREAT game to play with your friend (not this story per se hehe).

Maybe we put Andrew into LBAF and see what he actually does. Shit is easier said than done 😎

Also, minus points for both Sarah and Andrew for David slander!!

Thank you for the kind words and for sharing this crazy story with your friends 😘

PS - If you liked playing this game with Andrew, I'd recommend you watch Bandersnatch (you gotta watch it on Netflix) with Andrew. It's a black mirror episode where you get to decide what happens next in the story and it's so fucking stressful.

[headspace-hotel]

I can't even describe to y'all how much the side of tumblr that's proud of like, not caring what "tropes" are, and thinking fan-fiction is of no value, is just a pile of pseudo-intellectual bullshit.

It's all based on assuming the intellectual high ground over Cringe Stupid People~ who only read repetitive fanfiction. Meanwhile i consume fuck all of "Media" aside from...spending Literally hours a day reading literary journals, academic publications, and ancient and medieval texts. I don't read fanfiction. I don't watch TV, as in "have never logged onto a netflix account in my life." I've read more of egyptian papyri, or ancient Greek poetry, or the fucking Annals of Tacitus in the last year than fanfiction.

Like do you want to start on the ✨intellectual high ground?✨ Do you really want to play "Who's read the most dead people?" Some of us are super mega goblin brain autistic and also devoting an education and career to this shit, hi.

Guess what, I don't give a flying fuck if someone wants to read 20 coffee shop AU's in a row of their favorite characters. It's not the collapse of the intellectual world. Everyone should do what makes them happy and read what makes them happy, we don't get long on this earth.

Fanfiction isn't inherently worse than any other kind of writing, it makes no sense to say so, and nothing you do is going to stop people from reading the stories they like. If you look at folklore studies, you'll see a lot of similar constructs to the ones we have to describe fanfiction. And tropes? Tropes have existed for a hell of a lot longer than "genre" has, they actually substantially describe stories, and the majority of "Real Book" readers consume the same tropes over and over in reading thrillers and romance with the same formulas.

"Ao3 tropes" are being used by bookstores, discussed in classrooms, and they will be used to understand how people in this time told stories, and acting like that's the death of art is bizarre. This stuff is fascinating and it's cool.

Also. People's reading choices absolutely weren't more erudite (or less horny) in The Past.

Do you think the "novels" people in the 18th century freaked out over were intellectual masterpieces? Do you think Greeks in ancient Athens somehow had some greater ability to discuss Literary Narrative Techniques than people now do? Do you think any rando common person on the street watching Shakespeare perform would have a super smart and educated take on the Themes Present Within The Text?

Maybe teens on tiktok failed 10th grade english class or whatever, but storytelling is a living creature millennia old, breathing in the lungs of people across centuries that, for the most part, couldn't even read. Telling stories and being told stories is human nature and that's just the coolest shit to me

[moki-dokie]

Netflix Cowboy Bebop Review (From Someone Who Loved the Anime and Watched it an Unhealthy Amount of Times)

Kinda tired of seeing these reviews from the people who either A) haven’t actually ever watched the anime yet still want to compare the two or B) saw the anime once 20 years ago and think they’re an expert based on that alone or C) binged the whole show all at once and didn’t actually take the time to truly watch everything and digest the story. I watched this show every. single. day. for fucking YEARS. until Toonami finally took it off the air. And then I bought the DVD set and watched that constantly. I thoroughly love this series and very few animes have ever been able to be close to as good.

People are allowed their opinions, of course. Even true diehard fans aren’t always going to like adaptations of the original. But they can respect it, which makes a huge difference. Anyway, lets get into this shall we?

Obviously, there will be spoilers.

I’ll start with the Cons just to get them out of the way. There aren’t many.

Vicious: This is probably everyone’s biggest gripe and for good reason. He is the main antagonist of Spike (And kind of by proxy, to all the main characters) and even though in the original series he wasn’t actually on screen much, his presence was always very much there and very important to the plotline. Vicious is his name incarnate. He is cold, calculating, ruthless, smart as a whip, a man of few words, deadly in combat, and extremely level-headed to the point it may seem like he’s emotionless and unbothered by anything ever. Netflix’s version absolutely was not this. In any way at all. This version of Vicious was almost... comical. A parody of what a villain ought to be and it’s honestly a damn shame. The casting was so very wrong for him that it kind of blows my mind. They got it so very right with 99% of everyone else. Not only is his look completely off but it seemed like the hair/makeup department kind of gave up after dying his hair. The dark eyebrows and chest hair (also, why tf did he need to be shirtless so much. ugh.) were just a very weird contrast to the ratty silver hair. His personality is utterly wrong. This Vicious is hot-tempered, has anger issues, blatantly abusive (both physically and emotionally and like more in a wife beater kind of way rather than just a cold heartless killer kind of way), talks way too much, and is easily and frequently bothered. By like, everything. I would have much rather of had casting similar to Hugh Laurie, Jeremy Irons, Rhys Meyers, or Alexander Skarsgard. Rhys, with the right hair/makeup crew, could have been stunning as Vicious. But alas. Netflix’s version does not have the same lingering threat in the background. Nothing about him invokes fear. I’m so very disappointed with how hard they failed on such a hugely important character.

Ed: I only have a few issues with Netflix’s Ed. 1. She isn’t POC. Ed is brown in the anime, full stop. Ed’s father is HELLA brown. Ed is Brazillian-coded and this has been known pretty much since she made her first appearance. Sure, its always been ambiguous... but it’s ambiguously brown. And there is a big difference when erasing a POC vs adding one. 2. The actress tries a little too hard with the over-the-top Edness. It felt really... weird. Inorganic. 3. She’s older, or at least bigger, than Ed should be, which makes the forced wild-child behavior even more out of place. Idk, just feels like the casting for this one was a bit off? doesn’t ruin the character by any means, just feels a little clunky.

Gren: Idk what to say about this one. Gren has always been my favorite non-main character. I loved how tragic his story was. I loved how smooth and suave he was. I loved how he came to accept who he was forced to become. And Gren was the first time I had ever seen someone who could be considered intersex in any form of entertainment media. He was a very profound character at the time and very unique. I always wished he could have lived and joined the Bebop family - he would have fit right in. I understand that the trope of his character hasn’t exactly aged well, but that doesn’t take away from the fact it was a tremendous step forward in the 90s and I wish at least part of that could have been preserved. Netflix’s Gren... don’t get me wrong, I love that character as well! But it isn’t the Gren we know in the slightest. It’s just some dude with Gren’s name. I fucking adore him, but I’d rather he be a different character.

Fighting Choreography/Stunts: They could have spent a little more time on the fighting scenes. Some of them are a little clunky and obviously taken step-by-step. Not terrible, not fantastic. Really could have done a better job with flying stunts especially. I know it’s supposed to be campy to a degree but jfc they might as well have just left the wire in for some of those shots.

Camera focus: Not sure wtf was going on with the focus in most of the shots, but it was like, strangely blurry outside of the main focal point. Like if the camera was focused on Jet, but Spike was beside him and talking, Spike would be just sliiiiightly blurred/out of focus. Just annoying more than anything.

And thats it, really. Julia/Vicious bugs me just a bit, but not enough to really be a con. Just kind of like, ehhhh they could have gotten to the same ending place without that, yknow?

Now, onto the Pros.

Respecting the Source Material: I have never seen an adaptation done with so much care, diligence, research, and all out respect as this was. Say what you will, but everyone tried their damn best to not only recreate some of the most iconic scenes, but to do the series justice with the new twists and fresh stories. From framing the shots, to costuming, to set design, and of course to the music. This is how you honor the source material you’re adapting. I think, best of all, the campyness of everything remained. Bebop is a fucking cool anime, but you absolutely cannot deny how stupidly silly it can be as well. I enjoy they kept that alive. It’s hard for it to translate into live action without getting cringey (and certainly, in some parts it is) and I’d say on the grand scale they acheived just the right amount of camp.

Music: Bruh. What the fuck else can I say other than, as expected from Yoko and the Seatbelts... THIS FUCKS. I am 1000000% going to own this very lengthy soundtrack that I hope is going to be multi-disc like the original.

CGI: I’m actually very extremely pleased with the graphics. Yes, many times you can blatantly tell they’re greenscreening something but the level of detail that went into this shit is stunning. The ships are fucking spot on. The planets each feel unique and look realistic while honoring the original designs. The space shit like billboards and whatnot are badass. The astral gates look even cooler than the anime’s. Honestly, big fuckin kudos to the VFX team. My one and ONLY complaint is that they didn’t edit out Cho’s contacts in post production. Very small complaint, and most people don’t even know to look for them. But when you’ve worked in eye care before they stand out like a sore thumb.

Set Design: It baffles me how they made the interior of the bebop look EXACTLY like it does in the anime. like holy fucking shiiiiiit. I adore the mixing of real, actual, authentic 80s/90s technology into so many things. I can’t express how much I love how so much tech is still analog in some way. Every room we’re taken into feels like a place you could walk into today, or went to 20 years ago. It feels so familiar. And hell, even the outside scenes look cool as fuck. and as I’ve mentioned before, all the places we’re taken to feel very unique. Considering a huge portion of these sets were likely built in studios with only a handful of scenes being on location somewhere, I really gotta hand it to them.

Diverse Casting: Aside from our main characters, I love just how many side, minor, and background characters are so very diverse. Not just ehtnicities, but body types, age, all spectrums of gender, accents, ect. It really cements how intermingled humanity has become since leaving Earth. 

Ein: I know it’s a little silly to sing the praises of a canine actor but listen. The fact they used a real dog instead of doing some bullshit cgi dog is worthy of praise. Not only that but that was a VERY well trained dog. You know how a lot of times you can very obviously tell there’s a handler directly behind the camera coaxing the dog into doing whatever it should be doing? Yeah, I very rarely got that from this pup. Very good job from a very good boi.

Spike, Jet, and Faye: Honestly there’s not much to say about them because they all fuckin kicked ass. They all felt so much like the actual characters. They had such chemistry and charisma. Loved everything about them. I know a lot of people got butthurt that Faye wasn’t the half naked femme fatale trope of the 90s, and they can die mad. I LOVED this Faye. She was every bit as sexy, fiery, witty, and cunning as the original. Plus she has the added bonus of having the mouth of a sailor. All of them being aged up feels... right, too. I mean lets be honest here. Even if Spike was in the syndicate from like age 15 to 25 and then goes 3 years on his own, I still cannot fathom him having the set of skills that he does. That kind of stuff takes decadeS to master. Or Vicious being 27 and somehow a katana master, top assassin, fought in a war for a while, ect. Shit don’t make sense. I don’t know if they actually aged any of them up but considering the actors they got, I’d assume yes. It would make way more sense for Spike to be late 30s and Jet somewhere in his 40s. Faye still looks and feels like a mid-20s something. idk man. It feels way more grounded and real this way. I could NOT imagine this same plot playing out by a bunch of baby-faced actual 20-somethings who are barely even legal adults, yknow?

Plot/Storyline: There wouldn’t be much point in simply remaking the exact same thing 1:1 throughout the entirety of the series. So, understandably, the story has some differences. I thoroughly enjoy being able to identify each episode and know which one of the anime it’s based on, yet still not quite knowing what’s going down. The overarching plot, however, takes a pretty drastic turn from the original and frankly I’m very curious to see where it goes. Julia becoming a villain (maybe??) isn’t something I expected at all, and yet it makes perfect sense after all she’s been through. And hell, maybe this is her way of eventually getting rid of the entire syndicate once and for all. No clue! Thats the wonderful thing about it! I don’t know what will happen next and I am interested in that! Furthermore, this series feels way more seamlessly connected than the original ever did. That was kind of the thing back in the 90s so that episodes could be watched independently without needing to know what was going on, but they tried doing both at the same time and admittedly it didn’t always work out. Netflix’s version does a fantastic job of making each episode have a unique thing they have to overcome while still dealing with the main plot. It seems like Season 2 is going to incorporate the Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door movie, which feels like a good move since that is about where it comes in on the timeline And dear god I hope they release it around Halloween. If we’re lucky enough to get a season 3, that will be the grand finale build up. They’ve done a great job with pacing, almost matching the anime’s. I can’t say it enough how much respect the showrunners have given to the original. You can honestly tell the writing is done to remain faithful yet give us something new. I really hope they can take the backlash with a grain of salt. Those of us who truly and honestly love this series can seriously appreciate the dedication that went into this. The story certainly feels like it was made for us, the original fans who are grown up now. I’ve been dying for more sci-fi that can be both dark/gritty AND fun/silly. Reminds me a lot of Firefly (which, lets be honest, took heavy inspiration from Cowboy Bebop) with the mixture of serious story and things that’ll make you laugh. If you can love Firefly, you can love this series.

Overall, this was a VERY enjoyable show to watch and I’ll probably watch it a few more times to try and pick up anything I may have missed in the background. I’d really recommend ignoring the folks out there whining that they butchered the show - most of them are literally basing it on clips and stills rather than, you know, actually watching it. And obviously it shouldn’t need to be pointed out that this is an adaptation and things will be different. Don’t go into it expecting everything to be exactly the same across the board.

I’d probably give this 8.5/10. There are definitely areas of improvement that I sincerely hope they work on in season 2, but this was really damn good. Mad respect to everyone who worked on the show!

[shortpplfedup]

BEST OF BL 2021 CATEGORY: FAVOURITE CHARACTERS

The top 5 lovelies who owned (and broke) my heart this year. I stuck to main characters, but there is one honourable mention I simply couldn't let go unlauded.

BEST OF THE BEST

5. Teh Krittikorn Saetan (Billkin Putthipong Assaratanakul) | I Promised You the Moon (Nadao Bangkok/LINE TV)

So maddening yet you just can't quit him. Teh's the kind of character you want to beat with a belt, but then he does something so completely breathtaking that it makes you weep and wonder why he can't just be like that all the time. Flawed beyond measure, but somehow still so beautiful to watch, I can never hate him, no matter what. I don't know HOW Billkin did that, but it makes him a singular talent in my mind.

Favourite scene: the rooftop, episode 2.

4. Tian Sopasitsakun (Mix Sahaphap Wongratch) | A Tale of Thousand Stars (GMMTV)

The brat who grew up in front of our eyes, Tian's mix of sass and sincerity earns him an easy spot on the list. Tian feels like such a REAL person, one who makes mistakes and whose actions have unintended consequences, but whose heart is ultimately in the right place.

Favourite scene: Tian and Phupha go on a date, episode 5.

3. Kang Seo Joon (Son Woo Hyun) | To My Star (H & Co/EnergeDic/Viki)

An adorable bundle of neuroses masked behind a façade of easy charm, Kang Seo Joon stole away my heart. Somehow the character manages to combine a surprisingly un-annoying manic pixie dream boy energy with real caring and consideration for the grumpy gus he's found himself living with. By the time he's sitting at the front door like a puppy waiting for Ji Woo to get home, you're totally sold.

Favourite scene: the basketball game, episode 4

2. Phat Naphat/Pran Parakul (tie) (Ohm Pawat Chittsawangdee/Nanon Korapat Kirdpan) | Bad Buddy (GMMTV)

As if I could choose between them. Pat and Pran are so entwined there's no way to separate them in my mind. They're very different people, but they're really only totally themselves with each other. Pat's big, loud, sloppy, soft heart, and Pran's shrewd, methodical front belying the quiet fire underneath don't just complement each other, they complete each other. I love them both, equally.

Favourite scene (so far): the beach, episode 6

1. Oh Aew Panwa Suramontha (PP Krit Amnuaydechkorn) | I Promised You the Moon (Nadao Bangkok/LINE TV)

The greatest character Thai BL has ever produced point blank period and I will fight you over this. Oh Aew has seen joy and pain and loved through it all, but he's no pushover. This boy knows himself like no other character I've ever seen, with an emotional intelligence off the charts, and the smarts to know when it's time to quit something. The first ever sunshine pragmatist I've ever seen in BL, and I'd love to see more.

Favourite scene: the wedding, episode 5.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Felice Ehrencrona (Nikita Uggla) | Young Royals (Nexiko AB/Netflix)

Talk about a character that simply blew me away. With Felice I felt SEEN in a way I don't think I've felt seen before in drama. The way she tries so hard at first to conform, and then says 'fuck that noise' to all the expectations of her one by one makes me wish I'd had a character like this in my view when I was a teenager. As it stands, I'm cheering her on. You're doing amazing sweetie.

Favourite scene: Felice dumps August via Instagram Stories, episode 5

[madam-o]

Cowboy Bebop (2021, Netflix)

*Minor Spoilers*

I honestly didn't think this thing would work. What made Cowboy Bebop work in its original form was the poetry of the images mixed with the gorgeosity of the music. It was heavy on style, which made the simple story feel like it had depth. A live action version just can't do the same thing as an anime.

But the only thing I honestly didn't care for in Cowboy Bebop (2021) was the white hair on people who clearly aren't close to even being blonde. That never works. I would've gone with the original gray hair look for Vicious anyway. Otherwise it was well-written with an obvious understanding of the original work while being entirely its own thing. It made smart choices regarding the characters and built on what we know of them from the original.

All three leads are well cast. The Bebop crew have a charming chemistry and several amusing bonding scenes together. Happy to report, they still really suck at their jobs. And probably best of all, some unnecessary baggage has been removed, namely Faye's unrequited attraction to Spike and Spike's "walking dead man" character thing (which I liked as part of the anime, but it doesn't fit here.)

There were several minor differences but they made sense. Some things just wouldn't translate well to live action, like Vicious' very cold personality, which feels like something that works better as anime trope. Here he's got more barely contained rage and a lot of arrogant superiority. Julia is less pure and unobtainable, and I like that to be honest. Her arc makes sense to me considering the fucked up situation she finds herself in.

There's some notable cameos from great actors, like Adrienne Barbeau and John Noble, and lots of wonderful secondary and single episode characters. Pierrot Le Fou is especially well played by Josh Randall, who I don't know at all but I can tell you one thing about him, he was born to play this part. Faye's "mom" is notably played by Christine Dunford, who I also don't know. In fact I don't know a lot of these actors, but damn, they're good.

I consider Cowboy Bebop a perfect anime, and I consider the live action version a worthy tribute and expansion to that anime. I really have no time for the "this show r*ped my childhood" bullshit I'm seeing everywhere (I can't believe people still say things like that unironically.) I feel like a lot of that has to do with the characters not looking as young and hot as they do in the anime, but c'mon, it's anime. Everybody looks perfect in anime. If you can't deal with the changes, just grow the fuck up and go rewatch the original. Big mommy milkers Faye hasn't gone anywhere.