#i think that maybe some lyrics are literal and some are not
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You should tell us about color psychology that sounds cool as hell
YES⊠HA HA HA⊠YES!
GGGOD I WISH I WASNâT OUT OF THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. but iâve been thinking about colors literally all day so you all get to be subject to my madness! sorry this is long and rambly wauaua. nightmarishly long post under the cut.
okay. first things first, a few basics. color theory and color psychology tend to get confused a lot in discussions, but they usually refer to different things. color theory is more about we physically perceive colors (color wheels and color schemes the like), while color psychology focuses on our emotional response to colors. if youâre familiar with the childrenâs hospital color theory post, that poster wasnât actually talking about color theory, but color psychology (and also itâs incredibly surface level and heavily misunderstands the subject because in what fucking universe does the quantity of positive associations with a color matter more than the context itâs used in and sorry i have personal beef with this tumblr post).
color theory is also a special interest of mine but iâm not gonna touch on it too much here because itâs not entirely important. mmmaybe another timeâŠ
essentially, certain colors (and color combinations) have associations in our brains and that affect our behavior and emotions. these associations are also very much affected by the context a color is used in. colors donât exist in a vacuum! so while red can symbolize passion and love when used in something like a dress or a bouquet of flowers, it has a very different connotation when itâs, say, splattered on the walls or smeared on the ground in a snail trail.
or for a less Childrenâs Hospital Themed example, iâll put my euphrasie and king designs here!
(of course the saturation and brightness of these blues play a massive part in how theyâre perceived but this is not a post about color theory this is n)
and, of course, combining colors in a piece can also change their meanings!! iâm about to get real fucking normal.
iâm gonna be focusing on the color combo of red and yellow here because itâs the one thatâs most relevant to my art (and also itâs really interesting.) basically, seeing these two colors together activates the part of our brain that controls our appetite, making us actually feel hungry. this is why so many food companies use red and yellow in their branding! itâs neat stuff!!
also, if youâre familiar with it, this is why the mv for butcher vanity uses this color palette!! along with redâs general associations with danger and blood, the color combo also physically induces hunger. pretty fitting for a song about cannibalism!
(there is also redâs association with lust and passion and how that intersects with the double meaning in the lyrics but i cannot derail this post into being an analysis of butcher vanity iâm sorry. weâd be here all week. maybe another day... wipes a tear from my eye)
and i think this might be the reason why some people feel hungry when they see my art, even when iâm not drawing food. while i donât tend to use red outright, most of my art has very warm undertones (red-oranges and yellows especially), which could be activating that hunger response??
(ah fuck color theory managed to weasel its way into this post again)
admittedly this part is just speculation on my end. i think my rendering style and Shapes also play a role in it, but itâs interesting for me to think about!!
this is only scratching the surface of how complicated colors can get. i was going to go on an entire tangent about color grading and how green lighting can make a scene feel unnerving but this post is already Too Fucking Long. aaaa super sorry if this is Rambly or hard to understand!! iâm not Entirely sure how much the average person knows about color theory and psychology so if thereâs any confusing terms here iâm fine with adding stuff for clarity!
wauauuaa thank you so much for asking!!!! i love talking about colors.
tl;dr colors have a bunch of different emotions and meanings tied to them, but youâve gotta pay attention to the context in which itâs being used. so maybe take a step back before you put that thick red trail on the floor of your childrenâs hospital.
#marshtalkin#<- and by god did i TALK.#hhholy fuck how long is this. im so sorry i thought this was gonna be WAY shorter#admittedly i only realized colors were a special interest. fairly recently?#i genuinely didnât consider that most artists probably donât spend hours pacing around thinking about color symbolism#<- god donât even get me started on color symbolism in my designs iâm so fucking normal#âŠdo i even tag this as isat?? i mean i know i have to tag spoilers anyways#because of euphrasie#but this is mostly a post about color psychology even if iâm using my isat art as examples#aaaa whatever#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#color theory#color psychology#asks#also actually as a sidenote. sometimes color psychology is called a subsection of color theory?#but generally when someone is talking about color theory theyâre talking about the technical side of things#terminology is weird and confusing unfortunatelyâŠ
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Live report - Tour24 Who Is This Hell For? 2024/11/21 at Zepp Sapporo
Setlist:
Ruten no tou
AMON
Hageshisa to, kono mune no naka de karamitsuita shakunetsu no yami
Keigaku no yoku
Magayasou
Celebrate Empty Howls
Mitsu to tsuba
DIABOLOS
VINUSHKA
OBSCURE
Ochita koto no aru sora
The Inferno
-encore-
The Devil In Me
Values of Madness
Uroko
Eddie
My thoughts overall today are:
- so many echoes of Kyo's voice!
- This took me back to the first few times I saw Dir en grey live, in Canada, and the first times in Japan too. Times that were easier, where I was doing fine. The last time I saw them in Sapporo, in 2019, was also literally the beginning of this somewhat debilitating medical condition, caused by my own mistake. Therefore, this whole setlist, the songs and their meaning, conveyed a lot for me in this instance.
Shinya walked on stage dressed in all white. For some reason, it seemed like it was the first time that I could see him properly at his drum set. He was a literal prince! He looked so majestic, so strong. Magayasou especially was HIS time to shine! His drumming is so disorganized, and there was almost rancour and disdain behind one of his side hits during one of the songs, like if anybody had been standing there, they would have been utterly knocked out before they could blink. Also, regarding Shinya, Die tried to interact, but it seemed like Toshiya was the one who was successful in catching Shinya's glance, unless Shinya would have looked that way whether Toshiya was standing there or not hah. And it seemed to me like Shinya was truly peering at us from time to time, which I'd somehow never noticed.
Die was wearing some kind of light black tunic on top of a black tank top whose collar was very low, and he had leather short shorts on top of tights with a swirly design.
Regarding Die, the verdict is clear: he mouths total nonsense hahah. It really isn't the lyrics most of the time. He's just pumping us up by gaping his mouth a few times. He smiled so much throughout the show. I can't remember which song it was, but when it ended, he looked so ecstatic and proud, it reminded me of a high school girl finishing the performance of her life! I think that image stems from how young and happy he looked hah. His long hair kept getting stuck on his guitars.
Toshiya wore a black satin outfit with loooong panels below the sleeves. He had not only his thighs but his shoulders bare too. He had at least some lipstick, from what I remember. Toshiya was totally dramatic and expressive, like we know him to be hah.
Kaoru always impresses me by how he doesn't appear to sweat, and yet he wears the most layers in the band! He had the entire emperor look, baggy pants tucked into high boots, kind of like a horse rider, and the white dress shirt, cape, etc. He had makeup to accentuate his temples, as well as a bit of lining around his eyes, I think?
Kyo came on stage last of course, wearing all black. T-shirt tucked into clean black straight pants, black ribbed socks and shiny black work shoes. No makeup whatsoever. His hair was maybe an inch long. The tattoo next to his right eye is really visible, but this time I was on the kamite side, so I couldn't observe it much. And yeah, he has filled up the space below his jaw to outline his face. It looks like random lines: what pops up is a circular space left almost blank in the centre of his throat like to indicate where to do a tracheotomy, one line left blank on the sides, his Damned tattoo, and the two melded faces on the right side of his neck. If "Truth" is still written below his chin, it's barely distinguishable. Kyo's barbed wire tattoo sticks out a lot from his hairline at the top, despite the length of his hair right now.
It seemed like Kyo got really into the songs mostly at Diabolos. He also peeked at his lyrics memo sheets a lot, not that I blame him.
Ruten no tou was really cool. After "Sora yo", Kyo's voice is doubled in canon echoes, until the part where, in the studio recording, he does a light-pitched sigh, but in this live performance, it was merely an exhale.
The audience would have left Ruten no tou to end and transition into the next song in silence if I hadn't initiated a cheer, which happened a couple of other times. The only moment where we did let the band transition in silence was after Keigaku no yoku, because it would have been super inappropriate to cheer after he ended the song in: "Ore wa sakebu... HAYAKU SHINEEE!!" He ad-libbed Keigaku no yoku for at least the first half. No real clue what he said, it sounded like he was murmuring with the mic too close to his lips. Oh and it was awesome when they echoed Kyo's high-pitched sounds after the harder parts.
AMON was quite cool too. I don't remember anything special right now, other than that it was yet another moment where Shinya's drumming shone.
Hageshisa to, and frankly all of the other songs too, seemed to get the reaction that the band wanted. Everyone pitched in and headbanged as usual. Kyo had us sing a few parts and he did the traditional a capella: "Dive, like hell, and desTROY". Toshiya did his spins with very wide and dramatic movements, but it was clearly because there was no other way to avoid his super long sleeve fabric from interfering with him playing the bass hah.
Magayasou, I literally paid attention mostly to Shinya because of how badass his drumming is in that song. I just remember that I've definitely seen Kyo way more involved in that song in the past, but not now.
Oh, I don't recall which song exactly it was in the first few, but it was funny seeing Kaoru and Die hurry back from the edge of the stage to their mics whenever they realized that: "Oops, I've got backup vocals in 3, 2, 1..." Toshiya almost seemed to follow Kaoru with his stare when it happened like Kaoru snapped out of a trance.
During Celebrate Empty Howls, it feels like the performance was even more energetic from Kyo and the others when I last saw it in an assigned-seat hall. Either way, it involved Toshiya, Die and Kaoru coming to the front to tease us, switching sides once in a while. Toshiya's always all smiles, while Kaoru at most winks stoically hah.
The second pause happened between Celebrate Empty Howls and Mitsu to Tsuba, which felt kind of awkward. Overall, I felt like adding one or two Inward Screams would have livened up Kyo's performance slightly, or at least greatly changed it and the atmosphere of the songs.
Mitsu to Tsuba is mostly Die's time to shine. He knows the effect he has on us and he likes all the distortions he can get out of his guitar.
By the way, other than the SE, I actually don't recall seeing much AI-generated footage in the backdrop videos! The SE had images of a hooded stalker of sorts walking toward a bridge at night, a clown, photographs transposed in a circle to piece together probably someone supposed to be a criminal, etc. The music is a bit unmemorizable, but it had a beat that prompted us to clap to it while we waited for Shinya to show up.
Diabolos was amazing! Die was almost mocking us laughing during the segments where we headbang for three consecutive parts, which happens two other times in the song. I don't know if people seemed tired.
Kyo had us shouting "Blue Velvet" a couple of times. But the song evoked a lot in him, it showed. He was really into it.
The backdrop video of Diabolos caught my attention because it seems like when we sing about "Blue Velvet", we're... cooking a pig? There's just a charred pig head on a cut tree trunk, along with other imagery that makes it clear that the pig was cooked. An African tribesman with white lines of makeup all over his face and body is shown afterward. I'm not sure that that is ever what I would have associated with "Blue Velvet".
Oh, it was crazy, the anticipation building up to the "Saa ningen o yamero" part of this song. Kyo just shouted each line with deep breaks in between, to punch each point. Reading the official lyrics again, I'm pretty sure that Kyo completely changed the lyrics before "Saa ningen o yamero", actually, because it involved more stuff like: "You, and my self too, "
I think it might have been in Diabolos that Toshiya copied Kyo's stance with their left hand raised, leaning backward with their side facing us. It must have been during the climax line: " I raise my vacant eyes toward the sky".
Vinushka, again, I've seen Kyo more intense in this song in some live recordings, but it was nice and felt anyway. For some reason, the parallel between Kyo bringing his mic slowly toward his mouth for the "Aaaah... Vinushka" part while the background video shows the nuclear bomb approaching the viewer from above only just struck me. It's the same movement of two points slowly connecting to express impeding doom, that seems calm and quiet before the explosion.
Obscure involved a lot of headbanging, Toshiya spinning, etc. We didn't see much hah.
Ochita koto no aru sora started kind of like before Obscure finished, it took me a while to recognize the melody. Kyo had us sing some parts. I was really looking forward to witnessing this song live for the first time!
The Inferno came and I knew that it was the last song of the main setlist, which happened way too quickly! Sure, there were two long songs, but it felt way too short! Kyo wanted us to participate in the song a few times and he gestured the cut-throat at the very start and a couple of other times throughout the song, but I don't think he headbanged himself.
Kyo threw his mic backward JUST short of Shinya's drum set and walked off the stage before the song had even finished, leaving the other members to complete the last bit of the melody. Die was especially happy, he stayed behind to play moooore distortion, as long as he could, several seconds after everybody else had left the stage. His smile was wide!
The members returned for the encore rather quickly considering that Toshiya's assistant was still tuning his bass hah. Shinya had a sleeveless black shirt with the super big gold necklace in the style that he, Kaoru and Kyo have worn since The Perfume of Sins! Die has cut the sleeves from the black 27-years sweater but he was still wearing mostly the same clothes underneath. His arms are really defined, but Toshiya has totally surpassed him in muscle mass, woah. Buffest member in the band. Kaoru only took off his cape; how the hell does he not sweat! Toshiya had the grey sweater from the tour merch and his pants/boots with his thighs exposed. Kyo hadn't changed.
Although he did it once, or max twice during the main set, Kyo egged us on with "Sapporo!" several times in the encore, asking us over and over whether we could go on, become one, etc.
Oh man, The Devil In Me! I still completely disagree with the band's decision to rely heavily on backtracks, especially for the part "Jinkaku hitei o abite" which literally was recorded by the backup vocalists? What the fuck. But it's so cool and intense to watch Kyo lose it, growling, folding, swinging his mic cord up and down as he pours his self-hate. For the last minute or so of the song, he climbed on his crate, wrapped his red mic cord around his neck without theatrics, and sang with just enough length of the cord to follow his right arm as it curled toward his mouth. Otherwise, if he extended his arm too much, it would have tightened the noose. At the end of the song, while the instrumental continues for quite a while, he slowly sheds, or rather shrugs off one part of the mic cord from him. First, the noose is undone. Then, the cord draped on his left shoulder is shrugged off, which leaves just the one on his right side, which comes off while he stares almost in challenge at the horizon. Shedding a weight from his shoulders, from his existence literally, but not looking 100% relieved whatsoever.
Values of Madness has me headbanging intensely, so I'm not sure what happened, to be honest. Die was smiling, I think. Kyo stayed quiet to demand us to sing sometimes, which he seemed satisfied with. I don't know if it was in this song or another one, but Kyo was stalking his way in front of his crate when he must have stomped on his mic cord, because he stopped abruptly on his track to fix that before a real problem occurred.
In all three of the last songs, it was funny because the members would visit different sides of the stage, then went back to their spot when the song ended, but then another hyper song started and they went right back out there, repeating this dance once more for Eddie hah.
For the last song, Kyo asked us if we could go on, and he seemed taken aback by the response he got from the shimote side on the left, because he was like: "Huh? Are you alive?" So then that part of the crowd finally put their all into the cheer. Kyo turned to the kamite, and it sounded like we were way more at 100% intensity than shimote from the start. He asked us a second time anyway, and then, after a second of quiet on his part, he did his sudden a capella crescendo: "aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHH" with his 'claw' rising progressively, which had us all jumping and cheering. Eddie started and Kyo asked us to sing some parts, sometimes taking off his ear monitor. It wasn't clear on his face whether he was satisfied though, so probably not.
Kyo threw one of his water bottles kind of carelessly into the crowd, letting the cap and straw disconnect and all the water spray randomly onto us. Then, he promptly left. Shinya took a long time to come down from his platform, it seemed. Toshiya and Die had already started throwing picks and water. Die did the fountain/water sprouting move from close to his chest, like we saw him do in one or two videos. Toshiya and him sprayed us so much, they seemed to take a lot of pleasure in it. All three who were left on stage threw picks for a while, and I remember Kaoru stoically waving his index at us, as though teasing or chastising us for some reason hah.
Toshiya left with a smile and a modest bow and hand wave. Kaoru also waved us goodbye after throwing everything he had. Die was last, throwing his towel far but not close to the balcony like he sometimes aims to do. He intently looks at whoever catches his towel, like it means a lot to him to watch their reaction. He was really all smiles, mouthing stuff that resembled "arigatou" to us, and then he waved at us on his final way out.
What a blast, overall! I'm probably forgetting some stuff, but less than if I tried to write this live report any other time after today. I hope they play the setlist with Phenomenon in Sendai!
Oh and at one point, I was like: "Who the hell is filming the show with their cellphone? They played the reminder of the rules so often and so clearly." But it was Fujieda filming Shinya, so I guess that's the video we're getting tomorrow hah.
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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am...
#moral orel#orel puppington#adult orel puppington#moral orel fanart#my art#guys it's Iris by the goo goo dolls đ€đ€ this song has beautiful lyrics literally each part#You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever beAnd I don't wanna go home right now#I'd put the entire song jajajajakjdkenen#Heavily inspired by Marnie's art of Orel with Where Is My Mind lyrics đđ#also this heavily inspired by some MCR art I saw...#bro thinks he's in Fight Club âŒïžâŒïž#he's so me I'm so him#I need to be punched until I bleed <3#Maybe I need to shut up#if I do a lot of lyric art with Orel this was the beginning of an era đđ#aughghghhh debo pasar otro dĂa deseame suerte...#too lazy to fix any mistakes in my tags đą
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Today's Daily BakuDeku Song Is: Stargazing - Myles Smith
Take my heart, don't break it Love me to my bones All this time I wasted You were right there all along You and I stargazing Intertwining souls We were never strangers You were right there all along
#bakudeku#bkdk#dkbkdk#dekubaku#dkbk#THIS ONE IS SO SOFT!!!#okay this is another one that's really good from katsuki's pov#this is literally a song about realizing you're in love with your childhood friend NEED I SAY MORE???#TOO BAD!! I WILL BE SAYING MORE!!!#one of the lyrics i left out was ''Looking in your eyesâ I see my whole life''#imagine katsuki staring in izuku's eyes as he realizes he's been looking into those eyes his entire life!!!!#in my head this song is really good to think about like. the two of them finally being pro hero partners.#and that's when katsuki realized just how in love with izuku he really is now. maybe he always has been. but what matters is he knows now#ALSO intertwining souls???? that's a bkdk line if I'VE ever heard one#they ARE intertwining souls!! THEY ARE!!#i PROMISE they won't all be from katsuki's pov- *looks at my playlist* okay a concerning amount of them are from katsuki's pov.#surely i'll find one from izuku's pov.#surely.#OKAY i found some from izuku's pov#ANYWAY this one is a really good soft one that's really good for prohero bakudeku
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Israelis singing together: weâre coming with our guns to kill those Amaleks, they have no water and electricity, those rats will not survive when we leave our homes to go to war, we want all those Blacks and Arabs dead (electric solo, disco lights)
Palestinians singing together: oh my homeland how you suffer, one day the bloodshed on your soil will stop, one day we will return to our home village, Palestine will be free again (sitting together in a space lit by phone lights)
#The difference between what is being sung by the Zionist and anti-Zionist communities is so stark#even the dammi falastini and veve palestina backgrounds on videos is so different to lyrics and plain racist yelling going around#like idk if the literal actions over the course of over 70 years wasnât enough maybe this helps people differentiate#not that thereâs anything wrong with chants encouraging violence or like war songs but.#itâs worth thinking about what the songs are *saying*#what the overall message in them are#because Iâm seeing a lot of âkilling civilians is what we do!â in more or less literally those words#as if that is motivating. and then the brushing over the racism that canât possibly be plain cultural linguistic misunderstandings.#Palestine#I donât know how blatant israel will have to be before some people realize theyâre falling for lies#but the more than cartoonishly shameful comparison of the Palestinian and Israeli perspective seems to help there#even the Palestinian resistance songs are like. we will get rid of the oppressors and plant olive trees#with like explosion footage playing#idk#something about praying for survival and singing about history surrounded by rubble and little else
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MUKU đ„ do u have any cover song suggestions for a character who has a very stressful job & is overworked?? for a friend :3
FELIX đ„ i can try !!!! First song that comes to mind is (Not) A Devil!
youtube
(Not) A Devil: "I'm a part-time prize pupil, having another clandestine rendezvous with myself tonight. I'm drained, oh so drained, but ah, I'm in attentive prayer. But really, i perform poorly"
"The maliciousness of the quote 'its for your own good' salaries exploited by the line 'your dreams will come true' ah, highly addictive things always hide a trap, my soul's been reaped"
youtube
The Guide: "I dream, but it blurs with longing and envy, like my vision has somehow dropped to the negatives. It was a life of wanting to try my best."
"I'll punt away my favourite reward as I put on a mask and say "no, no!" insisting on modesty. I hate it. It bothers me. My heart is unfulfilled."
those two are probably the only songs that could be explicitly about work, since deco's speciality is relationships... so for the rest of these songs, we'll just assume the person they're dating and directing their feelings to is their job!
youtube
Streaming Heart: "An inner voice brutally warped by this relationship. I will aim for a "love-lost" ending to the story, giving rise to a sense of hatred would be a great success"
"Coming to hate the connection which was made, saying 'youre better off alone'. Anyhow, if there was just another of me over there, well then, surely happiness could be found"
youtube
Android Girl: "I'm out of my mind. I know I'm yours and yours alone, but do you even like 'me'? You've just been deceiving me the whole time, the whole time, haven't you?"
"I didn't know whether it was okay to have whatever hopes I wanted. Have the end credits still not rolled across the screen? 'We'll always be together wherever we go' seriously makes me wince."
youtube
Hedgehog: "Don't be prickly with me! Each time we touch, I throb. If I prick you, you might hate me. Well, there's no way that will happen! ...Atleast, I think."
"I'm sighing because I'm tired of my heart pounding. How irresponsible. We're stuck in a rut. Y'know, maybe we should try to fit in a break here."
youtube
118: "Hey, all the effort we put in, hey, it was all a lie in the end. I'm just struggling, aimlessly struggling, to get through the day with those differences gone."
"If it's a finger to make a pinky promise, then sorry, I don't have any left; I used them all to tie our dreams together. I don't even have enough energy left in me to slap you. And I can't scream for help with your saliva lodged down my throat."
youtube
Neo-neon: "e.g. I don't know everything about you. e.g. I can't be your ideal person. Does that suprise you? Didn't you expect that? How should I answer to all of what you want to do?"
"It's all a waste if the end comes, I can't say it even if it kills me. Going in circles, neo-neon, I should have told the truth if it was going to be like this, but I wanted to keep on shining to show that I can lie for you"
youtube
Theory Of Negativity: "There's no such thing as freedom in the bounds of my hypothesis. It's not like you'd ever understand, so I'll just keep my mouth shut and make a fool of you. As long as people have secrets to hide, I'm invincible."
"I say 'I'll just die', but am I really even alive in the first place? Even if you get fed up with someone and start treating them poorly, since nothing will change, 'I want to change' is the only wish I want granted."
#thanks for the ask!#songberry#i hope literally any of these are helpful for you đđđđđ uh i mean helpful for your friend#im not sure if theyre wanting to quit their job or r just kinda struggling through it so some of these songs r very different in vibes lol#all lyrics r from the vocaloid lyrics wiki... they might be different in the official videos#i kept thinking about mozaik role and mkdr but couldn't find any good lyrics from them... maybe theyre worth checking out?#hope this poor character gets a rest soon..... :<
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One of my favorite hobbies is opening the Genius annotations of lyrics I'm checking purely to roast the absolutely ATROCIOUS "analysis" some people throw up with full confidence on that site, oh my god.
#this was about 'the garden' by the crane wives today but I do this with some regularity lmfao#somebody literally went 'the line about hammers and nails is clearly a reference to the crucifixion of jesus'#WHEN THE ENTIRE SONG IS ABOUT BEING BURIED IN THE GROUND. IT IS A REFERENCE TO COFFINS BABE.#you canNOT just jump from eden to the fucking crucifixion oh my god. I cannot deal#what are you a protestant youth pastor??? NO#what kind of bullshit conjecture#YOUR ANALYSIS IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!!!#god something else just came out and I was looking at lyrics like 'holy hell they really just let you say anything here.'#like I do think genius is great for finding references to things the artist actually said about what they were writing about#but if you're gonna do specific textual analysis you NEED to actually write out the argument#a lot of it is flat out wrong but some of it is like 'maybe you're right but this is so disconnected that you NEED to make the connection'
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i love apollo 18 but i have a few problems with it and one of the biggest ones is that i can never just listen to the fucking album because its impossible for me to hear this song without repeating it at least like 4 or 5 times
#I think in some ways this is literally like the best song he's ever written <- not a hot take at all i know but man#it really is like it kind of perfectly encapsulates everything i love about his songwriting at least lyrically#okay musically its amazing too i like the way it goes to the bVI in the verse he does this thing a lot in his chord progressions where the#verse chords are usually straight forward some variation in like I IV V I maybe with a ii an vi nothing too crazy and then he puts in#something like that or like often it's a II that is at this pivotal moment and its like idk like . he usually shows restraint like that in#the verse and chorus and then does something really complex/interesting in the bridge#not always but theres a lot of songs like that in this case oh my god i love that bridge#hes got the ascending line cliche thing and it keeps climbing and climbing towards the climax of the last verse and its sooooo GOOOOOOOOD#and its got suchhhh a classic linnellian melody insanely catchy like this is just such a perfect fucking song#i just feel like this is like. the archetypical john linnell song. platonic ideal of a john linnell penned pop song perfect example#lyrically obviously too its just soooo him nobody else could have written it. okay he got the title from flans though credit where its due#but yeah. perfect pop song lyrically complex and clever funny and recursive and circular and dark and morbid and just like. its so. perfect#ALSO THE ARRANGEMENT....................... i love the organ on it so much i love the guitars i love the way its mixed#yeah anyway if i wrote a song like this. id retire afterwards . he says hes still chasing trying to write the perfect pop song but i think#this would be my contender for like. number 1#anyway i love this song but EVERYONE loves this fucking song so i forget how much i love this song sometimes. but i love it#this also was my favorite they might be giants song as a kid mostly because i really liked hearing him swear . lol#but because of that like birdhouse im like ive probably heard this song more than most any other song in my life so thats a factor
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it may be obvious to others but i am genuinely surprised every time i go back to old writing and see that I've actually improved since. who knew practicing a craft makes you better in it. this has literally never happened to me before
#I'm talking abt lyric writing btw#stories are..... a different case (somehow i only get worse with time)#also everyone pls cheer and clap for my positive attitude here.#that rather than going ''my old writing is shit i should've been killed for that alone'' i say ''i improved :)''.#that also never happened before đ§ I've got a master's degree in self loathing so it's hard to break the habit.#the last thing i wrote tho i started in august 2022 and got stuck with it until literally 2 days ago#so you can actually see the difference between the first few lines and the rest of the song lol#they're fine. like. there's a reason i didn't delete them.#but reading the third verse and looking at the structure my younger self wouldn't have gone for. they're good i think#i need to record a draft of it hmmmm maybe some other time đ©
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the more i listen to cdn the more i realize this band was not made for neurotypicals lol
#from the very beggining seriously#the first albums were literally just about their ocs đđ#do u think that if they were teens today they would imagine animatics of them#but moving on from pre raro being. Pre raro#the amount of songs being abt not fitting in or some shit like that kills me#the world's gonna explode when roberto gets his diagnosis#like seriously dude. u named ur song No quiero ser normal#but at the same time theres like#a ton of songs that i think arent explicitly neurodivergent#but for me as a nd person i can very easily read as such#stares at solo estoy sobreviviendo#and at todos pasan por mi rancho#ik the lyrics r very metaphorican and all but like#for me it will be forever abt how we shape ourselves to be accepted by-#-neurotypicals and still get fucked over no matter how hard we try#i have some sort of interpretation like that one for like every song#ill make a post about it someday maybe
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Song of the Day: May 29
âEvil Like Meâ by Kristin Chenoweth & Dove Cameron for Disney's Descendants OS
#song of the day#time is fake! sometimes I'm awake and it's logical to assume that sometimes I'm asleep! and the days must pass but do I ever know?? nope#fuck I spent all day thinking today was the last day of the month and then it turns out it's not even Thursday#sang 'Evil Like Me' with Duncan at the dinner table while I ate the cabbage and I made this cabbage after the work not-a-bbq so#almost definitely that was today!#I fell asleep standing up in the shower again but the drain has been draining very slowly so when I woke up there was water above my ankles#if I flood our house with the water from my shower while I am actively standing in it and I don't notice because it's the only time I sleep#I'm going to shrink myself down and move in with the mice colonizing our neighbor's boat trailer#the mice will never know my shame. Duncan will put cheese sandwiches out in the alley for us and it will be more than I deserve#this is a really good song. very fun lyrical nonsense and also very fun musically to sing. love the idea of Kristin Chenoweth Maleficent#'I have tried my whole life long / to do the worst I can / clawed my way to victory / built my master plan#now the time has come my dear / for you to take your place / promise me you'll try to be / an absolute disgrace'#Nick really doesn't like this song for some unspecified reason--we've asked but he just gets kind of mad? like it should be obvious?#I think maybe he thinks they're making fun of people who sing about like. doing crimes? being bad???????????????#like honestly what could be more punk she's literally Maleficent but go off I guess#I dunno but if I were going to be mad about a Descendants song that I occasionally roam the house over-selling#it wouldn't be a Broadway-star-supported certified banger like 'Evil Like Me'#it'd be goofyass 'Rotten to the Core' where I'm playing four parts simultaneously and pitching my voice up and down like a rollercoaster#love that fucking song it's so dumb and it's so much fun and I get to stomp on the chorus bits
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I canât believe Iâve been in the batfam fandom for 6 years holy shit
Remember when I did icons and holiday icons?? Wild.
And the Iâm not a Robot video? I keep meaning to redraw that.
And my batfamily ask blog?! damn I miss that sm
#fee rambles#I canât believe I was 13/14 when I joined the fandom#and now Iâm 20#Iâm twenty⊠Iâm so old⊠I can already feel it in my bones⊠so old#I think Iâm gonna redraw some old stuff soon!#and maybe do that ivan&alyosha lyric video Iâve been meaning to do for literal years
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out loud, my catchphrase is probably something akin to "or ignore me. that's cool too" but internally it's a very bitter "okay...I know when I'm no longer appreciated"
#no bc tell me why the only one that acknowledged i was there was fucking [REDACTED]#when she's literally been replacing me in that group#not of her own choice btw#she's nice and has nothing against me whatsoever#but whatever space i used to occupy she has now and i can tell they like her more#ânow im not trying to be all doom and gloom...â sorry for the kt lyrics I'll get back to the point#i just hate thinking about how i used to be important to certain people#how i used to matter to them and be a core part of the group#and now I'm... not. and I've been replaced like i was never a core part of anything#like how does that happen?#i don't want to cry but tbh it's probably pms or some bullshit like that#it would just hurt to lose what used to be there and i can't make myself end anything#vent post#anyway this has been an episode of Things and Feelings I Won't Be Expressing to Anyone IRL. with blue#personal#but as always even the personal stuff is allowed to be reblogged ig#just maybe sorta let my tags be buried
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STRESS ME | Yojiro Noda
èȘ°ă ăŁăŠă§ăăăăšăŻèȘ°ăă«èČăă èȘ°ăă§ăăȘăăăšăă矜çç”ćŒŠ
æ„ćșăăăăźćœă«çăŸăăă æćłæĄăăăçăŸăăăăă«ăŻ
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I yield what anybody can do And do what no one else can do like Hanyu Yuzuru
Thinking about the meaning of being born, as I have In the land of the Rising Sun
#stress me#éç°æŽæŹĄé#yojiro noda#wonder boy's akumu club#éłæ„œ#gif#my gifs#and if you look this way ladies & gentlemen we have pure unadulterated cinema đđ„#the camera work ! the framing ! the high contrast values !#but ohhhh the choreography !!! that's what truly makes the mv#i wasn't really familiar with krumping before this so i did some very basic very minimal research#only to learn about its long-standing relationship with hip hop#the freestyle movement integral to the style#the emphasis on expression#i mean ! once again the intentionality !!#and i think it's really interesting that for a style that gives off so much raw energy it should be more like a conversation b/w dancers#encouraging positive energy rather than negative just like what yojiro sings about here#also! that it has religious origins#(praise literally being part of the acronym)#when there seems to be some religious undertones to the mv? maybe? what with the crosses & sheep etc#but even ignoring all of that#maito-san's dancing is such a force !! you don't need to know any of those things to feel the incredible energy of the 2 working in tandem#the movement perfectly matches that high-strung on edge feeling in the rhythm & lyrics of the song#but it's empowering as well!#sooo good !!!!! đ„đ„#i'm really enjoying this song so much#and i can't stop humming it every time i brush my teeth#đ«§đȘ„
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After All This Time (kmg)
When you're asked to be on the wedding party of a long-lost friend, you get the chance to reconnect with former classmate Mingyu, but not without your old feelings and struggles resurfacing.
pairing: groomsman!mingyu x bridesmaid!reader
w.c: 18,7k
genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, minor angst, it's another self-indulgent 'running away from your high school past' story from me.
warnings: alcohol consumption, a lot of not standing up for oneself, kind of unrealistic wedding timeline (i've never been a bridesmaid so bare with me), mingyu has no flaws here because... im in love with him, this might be badly written I can't really tell anymore | smut: it's messy, and rough, face sitting, unprotected penetration (don't do this), multiple orgasms (f). lmk if im missing anything
still into you by paramore - i often listened to this song while writing this. i wasn't particularly inspired by it but the title did come from its lyrics, and i think it's pretty fitting
The unopened letter stares at you from across the table. Trying to ignore it by doing your housekeeping chores is pointless. Scrubbing your toilet, doing your laundry, making your bed, and even cooking your meal preps for the entire week, nothing managed to take your head away from that stupid letter, wondering what could possibly be.
You and Olivia havenât spoken properly since graduating high school many years ago. The last time you had a full-on conversation with her was when she told you she started seeing a new guy freshman year in college, someone who went to your same high school but never knew. Besides that, your only form of âcommunicationâ was liking each other's Instagram stories and the yearly happy birthday text. A letter from her addressed to you was the last thing you expected to see today, or ever.
Curiosity finally wins as you take it and inspect it up close. The pastel pink envelope with golden details feels sturdy in your hands, and the wax seal is stamped with two initials, O and T. The boyfriendâs name appears in your memory as the realization hits you. Olivia and Thomas.
This is a wedding invitation.
Opening the envelope just confirms your thoughts, but thereâs more to it than just a mere invitation. Just below some details such as dress code and the plus one, thereâs a part specifically addressed to you asking you to be one of Oliviaâs bridesmaids. Your stomach turns, anxiety, and excitement battling it out in each of your organs. For one, itâs really heartwarming that she thought of you as a friend still and wants you to be a part of such a special day as her wedding. On the other side, itâll be awkward to see everyone again after such a long time, because, weirdly enough, you never encountered anyone you knew ever again, even if you didnât move away and still frequented same places as before.
Except, maybe that anxiety is just because of one person, whoâs probably going to be more than involved in this wedding. Cassie, your other best friend.
Being a trio was never a problem. Actually, itâs probably the better friend group arrangement for you. The three of you got along immediately since the first day of middle school and never looked back. It was always fun and comfortable, you thought you had found your best friends for life. But something happened around the age when girls start noticing boys, when everyone starts going on dates, flirting, kissing, getting into relationships. Thatâs when you realized you and Cassie had the exact same type. It became almost like a routine: youâd notice a cute guy around school but didnât say anything, and the next thing you know, at the next party Cassie would also notice him and hook up with him. You were sure you were in your very own Truman Show.
Was it partially your fault for not saying anything? Maybe, but did it have to happen with literally every single guy you were ever attracted to? It reached a point where you would constantly doubt yourself, compare yourself to her, was she cooler? Prettier? Smarter? Funnier?
In the end, it wasnât her fault, and youâd never blame her for that, but for your own good and the wellness of your crumbling self-confidence, you had to get away from that situation. And you did. At least until now. But itâs been years, youâre not the same person you were back in high school, and hopefully, all of your self-doubting was also left in the past.
A sky-high, lavish building stands before you in all of its glory. You were no stranger to your old friendâs rich family, but her lifestyle always managed to take you by surprise.
Olivia wanted all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to meet and get comfortable with each other, so she and her fiancĂ© arranged a little afternoon party at their apartment. Over the few texts you exchanged with Olivia, she failed to mention the other people on the wedding party. So during the elevator ride, you think of every possibility, who could be there that you know? With how many people from school has she kept in contact with? Will you know the groomâs friends?
The doorbell rings inside the busy apartment, and a few seconds later youâre welcomed by your old friend with a bright smile. You hug Olivia tightly, the weirdness of the situation fading away for a few seconds. Afterward, you greet everyone with a shy smile, recognizing some faces and encountering new ones. Some people are standing in groups of three or four, while others sit on the couch or a few scattered chairs, talking with each other comfortably.
âWhile we wait for the last people to arrive, I want to start telling you what I have planned.â
Olivia announces as you walk away slowly, and you find an empty wall by the hallway to rest against.
At least twenty minutes pass, in which Olivia doesnât take one breath, her happiness and excitement showing through her endless words. The wedding plan is not really out of the ordinary, but the scale of things, thatâs the impressive part. She has seven bridesmaids, including you, plus the maid of honor who hasnât arrived yet, and her fiancĂ© has the same number of grooms, plus the best man. Each of you will pair up throughout the days coming up to the ceremony, and on the big day, each pair will have matching outfits and even a dance scheduled after the coupleâs first dance as a married couple. Her idea was essentially thought so no one would feel out of place and enjoy the ceremony, because it should be a happy day for everyone.
While she explains everything for the second time, you take your time to look around the big room full of people. Scanning every face, there isnât really a lot of girls you know, but the groomsmen, on the other hand, all of them went to your same high school. It seems Oliviaâs fiancĂ© still hangs out with his same group of friends. One of them, in particular, sparks a little smile across your face.
Mingyu was the only other person you considered a real friend in school. As scary and anxiety inducing as it is to have classes without your small friend group, he made it more than bearable, enjoyable even. Becoming friends with the nerdy boy assigned as your lab partner is one of the things you remember fondly about those years of your life. He was like a breath of fresh air during all the turmoil. Would he remember you?
His eyes catch yours from across the room, and an instant smile forms across his lips. After all the years that passed, he still looks the same. Heâs much more mature and fully over puberty now, his broad bulky frame being one of the more standing out new things about him, but youâd recognize that confused expression and toothy smile with fangs peeking out anywhere. Your mood rapidly improves as he mouths a âhiâ and waves his hand lightly at you, not wanting to interrupt the bride to be. You repeat his greeting with a growing grin, but your small interaction is cut short.
âAnd Y/Nie,â your name catches your attention, and you turn to Olivia, âyou and Mingyu will be our last pair. Is that okay?â
The relief is immediate. It might be a little awkward, but at least youâll be with someone you know. You and Mingyu look at each other once again and then nod at her, but before she can continue with whatever she is saying, the entry door opens behind her.
âHi everyone!â The familiar voice makes your stomach drop, âIâm sorry Iâm late. My boss wouldnât let me go.â
âItâs fine. Itâs nothing the maid of honor hasnât heard before.â Olivia replies to her with a chuckle.
She looks the same too, only with longer hair and more mature features on her face. Her body language holds the same coolness, as sure of herself as she was when you were younger.
âOh my god! I havenât seen you in so long!â When she greets you, you straighten your posture, put on your best smile, and hug her back. âHow are you doing?â
âHey Cassie, good, good, just working my life away!â
You joke and try to ease up your emotions. Your few words manage to satisfy her as she nods with a smile, walks away, and pecks one of the groomsmen â her boyfriend? â on the lips before sitting by his side.
The schedule is easy for Olivia to finish explaining it, so in no time, food starts rolling in, and conversations pop up between everyone, either catching up or normal everyday chats. Cassie starts telling a story about something that happened earlier at her job, but you donât really understand it. You havenât talked to them in so long, you donât know what they do for a living, or where they work. You donât know them anymore, and youâre too afraid to ask.
To the side, a couple of people over, Mingyuâs talking with the rest of the grooms' friends comfortably. You want to talk to him, but what would you say? Itâs not like you were the closest of friends. You never hung out outside of the school, and your friend groups never actually interacted until now. Actually, you never told Olivia and Cassie about him. Maybe because you were afraid that if you introduced him to Cassie, heâd swoon over her like the rest of the guys you ever interacted with romantically.
An uneasy feeling creeps in on you as memories of your past fight to climb up on your memory. Feelings and thoughts you havenât felt in years come back up, almost reliving everything in a matter of milliseconds. You need to talk to someone, take your mind off of your overthinking. Because this is not the time nor the place to get so gloomy.
You get to talk with the rest of the bridesmaids, and the anxiousness of it all starts bubbling down, and youâre much more comfortable. A couple of them are close family friends with Olivia, also as rich as her, but still really nice girls, even if a little airheaded, and the rest are friends from college.
Time passes by easily, and soon enough, the sun is already set.
On the ride back home, your mind starts spiraling again. Do you even fit in with all those people? An invite to her wedding wouldâve been just fine, but a bridesmaid? You feel like a total stranger, someone from her past whoâs meddling around trying to sneak into a place she purposely left behind. At least you wonât have to see anyone ever again after the wedding is over.
It is said that changing your usual routine helps improving your mood, taking another path home, shopping at a new place, sitting down at a different park, trying a new coffee order, changing the little things to feel more energized and be more productive. You wouldnât know, because every task you complete as fast as possible to be back home quickly. So, after days of not being able to think about anything else but the upcoming wedding, itâs your only option left.
With the sky lit up with golden light, the grass and trees as green as ever, and a light breeze that prevents you from getting too hot, you walk around a park youâve never been to before, with your new âhot girl walkâ playlist as a soundtrack. The kids running around the playground are the only sounds that get through your ears besides the music, maybe a bark or two as well, and the sun against your skin soothes all your worries. Damn. Going on a walk does fix your mood.
A hand grabbing your arm softly startles you, and youâre about to punch the mystery person when you recognize his face.
âMingyu?â
His eyes are focused on your fist that was ready to hit him, and you lower it down, beginning to take out your airpods.
âSorry! You scared me!â You erupt in a nervous laughter.
âIâm sorry! I called your name but you didnât hear me.â He stands apologetic in front of you, looking down at his feet before daring to look back up. âHow are you doing? We didnât get to talk the other day.â
âYeah! Itâs good to see you! I didnât expect you to be there, it was a nice surprise.â Is it too weird to say that? Well, itâs already done.
He gets the tiniest bit shy at your words, his ears turning a light shade of pink before disappearing quickly.
You notice a bicycle by his side, a cute pink helmet with glittery heart stickers hanging by the handle. He mustâve been biking when he saw you and took it off before calling your name.
âI didnât know if you were still friends with Olivia, I didnât know if I was going to see you either.â
You fixate on the first part of his sentence, ignoring your bodyâs reaction to him implying he wanted to see you.
âOh, weâre not really that close anymore.â Thereâs a silence as you finish your words, as it wasnât the reply he was expecting. âLife, you know? We just grew apart.â
It was you who stopped making an effort to talk to her, but even if it was still for your own good, youâre a little ashamed to admit it to Mingyu.
âShe still asked you to be her bridesmaid. That must mean something.â Ever the positive guy, he tries to make you feel better after the sour comment.
âYeah, itâs really nice of her.â The sun shining so bright prevents you from looking up at him, but you smile, hoping he can see it.
The slow steps youâve been taking side by side turn awkward with silence. You wanted so badly to talk to him after the other day, but now that heâs here, in front of you, you canât think of anything.
âItâs good that you still hang out with the guys.â
You donât know what else to say, and the words spill out of your mouth. He doesnât seem to notice the awkward atmosphere, his body as comfortable as ever walking by your side.
âYeah, even though not as often as Iâd like.â A regretful smile forms across his lips. âOur schedules havenât been lining up, I met Olivia in person maybe a total of three times over the years.â
âWhat? Thereâs no way you didnât share any classes in school?â
He shakes his head, chuckling at your surprise.
âI think I only ever shared one class with her, but I didnât really care much about her crowd back then.â
âWow, thanks for that.â
He means all the popular guys your friends would hang out with, and you know it, but there was always something so fun in teasing him and seeing him get so pouty.
"You know I donât mean you.â
His shoulder pushes your body lightly to the side, and you chuckle together. Itâs hard to prevent the red from rushing to your cheeks. Maybe heâll mistake it for a faint sunburn.
âThatâs a cute helmet you got there.â Your eyes point to it as a way to distract him.
âOh, that?â He picks it up with what seems to be an embarrassed voice tone, but his actions quickly override it. He puts it on proudly and looks at you with his eyebrows raised, âmy sister gave it to me when I bought the bike, gets all the ladies.â
âI'm sure it does.â
Attention from women he for sure gets, but probably not because of that thing. His tall, muscular body is enhanced by the tight blue t-shirt he's wearing. You didnât get a proper look at him the other day, and now, standing next to him in broad daylight, you almost wish you could still live in the ignorance bliss of not knowing the exact height difference between you two.
âSo, what are you doing around here?â
His words make you realize youâve been staring for a few seconds, and you look ahead, hoping he didnât notice. He forgets to remove the helmet, making you chuckle quietly before answering.
âI just got off from work and thought it would be nice to take a different route home.â
âThatâs such a coincidence! I come here, like, almost every week to bike around.â
âWow, It really is.â
For how long have you been avoiding this specific park for no reason? Pushing away your chance of meeting the one and only person you wouldâve wanted to?
A ping from his phone alerts both of you, taking you out of your little bubble.
âSorry I-" His expression falls as he reads the new text, âI have to get going, but it was really nice seeing you!â
"Oh, sure! I didnât mean to hold you back.â It comes out quieter than youâd like. âGoodbye!â With a simple smile and a tiny wave at him, you turn around.
Right when he gets on his bicycle again, before he starts pedaling, he looks back at you, taking your first step in the opposite direction.
âWait!â When you turn around, heâs taking his phone out of his front pocket, âCan I get your number?â
The both of you blush at his words, and you look up at him cautiously.
âSo we can catch up and, you know, get comfortable with each other for the wedding.â
You had already forgotten about that. The reason you even met him again in the first place.
âSure!â
Your hand trembles slightly when you take his phone, and you mentally beat yourself up for it. Itâs just your number! It could mean nothing.
âIâll text you later so you can save mine.â
And with a wink, heâs off to whatever he was late to.
Great. Now youâre not only re-living your high-school anxieties but also your high-school crushes.
During the following days, you find yourself checking your phone more often than ever, always with the hope that youâll get a new message from Mingyu. Texting almost every day since the encounter at the park, the time when youâre both free to talk has become your favorite part of the day.
It started shyly, merely updating the other about your lives since finishing high school, your jobs, and hobbies. But as time passed, the never-ending conversation eased onto your daily routines. Youâd wake up and text Mingyu, update him as you arrive at work. Lunch, break, evening, clocking out, dinner. Every little free time you got, youâd text each other back and forth.
A text notification cheers you up constantly, thinking that it could possibly be him again. But itâs not always the case, like this time.
Itâs Olivia reminding you that, in exactly 29 minutes, you have the dance rehearsal with all the maids and grooms. Half an hour, and you live 1 hour away from the studio she rented. A little white lie never hurt anyone, so you tell her something came up and you'll be just a little late.
You love weddings, but if you had to choose one thing you donât like about them, it would definitely be the dancing. You canât dance for shit. Youâd tell your right leg to move forward, and your left leg would move backwards, like your body canât comprehend instructions when theyâre related to dancing. Usually, you stay in your seat, choosing not to embarrass yourself in front of all the guests, but this time, you canât get out of it. Poor Mingyu will leave the class with at least five bruises on his feet from you stepping on him.
The dance studio is part of a new, contemporary looking building on the exact geographic center of the city, a place you would always pass by but never thought youâll get to enter. Standing at the front desk, over half an hour late, you feel too out of place. Your clothes are probably wrong, your hair is completely disheveled, you donât remember on which floor is your class, and you donât even know the name of the dance teacher.
After a long discussion with the receptionist, she finally understands what youâre here for and lets you go up to the 13th floor.
The walk from the elevator to the studio feels longer than it actually is. Three to four footsteps become long, slow turtle-like steps. But not even the infinite time you spend taking four steps prepare you for your stomach to drop down to the basement at the sight of Mingyu dancing with Cassie as soon as you open the door.
His hands on her waist, her arms around his neck, dancing slowly in circles, laughing about something she just said, you can almost hear something inside you break. After all this time, nothing really changed.
âHey! Youâre finally here!â
Oliviaâs voice brings you back to earth.
âHi! Iâm really sorry I couldnât get here sooner.â The dance teacher gives you a look, and you lower down your voice, âSo how is this going?â
âWe had to put them together,â she points the dreaded pair, directing your eyes to them once again, âbecause neither you or Tyler were here when we started, but after the songâs over you can join him and Iâll practice with Cassie, okay?â
You nod with the best spirit you can manage to express.
âIs Tyler the guy she was with the other day?â
You donât forget to whisper so the class isnât interrupted by your chatter.
âHeâs the only one of Tom's friends whoâs not from school, donât worry, you didnât erase him from your memory.â
You stifle a laugh before it gets loud.
âGood, I was starting to feel bad about not recognizing him.â
In reality, his existence doesnât matter much to you either way, except for something. âAre him and Cassie a thing?â
âShe says itâs something casual but, and donât tell her about this, I paired them up together on purpose so they can finally realize that they like each other!â
Your lungs clear of air in an instant after hearing those words. Sheâs not available. She has a boyfriend, sort of. A boyfriend who you do not know nor have feelings for.
âYour secret's safe with me.â
âMingyu's nice and all, but if he messes with my plan and charms her, I will personally revoke his invitation to the wedding.â
You both chuckle just as the song finally ends, yours quieter than hers. Both of them see you with Olivia, but only Cassie comes forward to say hi.
âHey girls! Good to see you!â She gives you a little hug before directing to Olivia. âSo⊠Tyler isnât showing up, I assume.â
âHe told me a few minutes ago that something came up and canât come, sorry.â
Her hand flies to Cassie's shoulders to comfort her, but she doesnât seem bummed by the news.
âWell, then, I have something to ask you.â
Her presence suddenly becomes overwhelming as she grins at you with a proposition in mind, seemingly all thought out.
âAre you close with Mingyu? Olivia told me you were classmates.â
How did she know? Maybe you did tell her about him after all.
âHe used to be my lab partner. Why?â
âHow did you not crush on him back then? Heâs such a cutie.â
âI probably did, I donât remember.â Lie.
âCould you find out if he has a girlfriend, pleeease?â
A buzzing sound is all you hear for a few seconds, like your brain forgets how to function. Words donât come out, and youâre freezed in place as Cassie looks at you expectantly. To the side, Olivia looks just as puzzled by her request.
âW-why?â
âBecause, heâs really hot and, if I need a quick rebound because of that other fucker, I need to know Iâm not messing with a relationship.â
Silence is all you produce once again.
âI just need a tiny bit of info, and itâll be weird if I ask him directly, so could you please try?â
âSure⊠Iâll try, but Iâm not promising anything.â
Youâve never sounded less excited about something in your whole life. You love some gossip and some drama, but not if it involves a genuinely nice guy like Mingyu being used. Or maybe itâs just because itâs him.
âThank you, thank you, thank you.â
Cassie jumps excitedly and hugs you once again, just as the dance teacher calls for everyone to gather.
Mingyuâs hands slot carefully at the sides of your waist, guiding you swiftly and sparking goosebumps across your back. Your arms wrap awkwardly around his neck, making him crouch a bit so you can look properly at each other.
âWere you always this good? Or did you become a professional waltz dancer in the half hour I wasnât here?â
You remember him telling you the other day, during your endless text conversations, that he, like you, wasnât particularly excited about dancing.
âLetâs say, hypothetically, that I practiced before coming here, what would that say about me? Hypothetically.â
âIt would say that,â you drown out a cackle before you can continue, âyou take your duty as a groomsman very seriously, hypothetically.â
âGood, I wouldnât want you to think I was a dork, hypothetically.â
âYouâre too late, I already thought that.â
A pout forms on his mouth at your giggles, and he flashes the world's most menacing puppy eyes ever.
âI mean it in the best way possible!â
âIsnât it embarrassing?â
âItâs cute!â
His face shifts with skepticism, sending enough signals saying he didnât like your choice of words.
âItâs charming!â
The warmth his body emanates wraps around you fast. His expectant eyes looking down at you and the closeness of your bodies rises your temperature in record time, your cheeks pinking up furiously. You keep talking as the nervousness takes over you.
âAt least it worked! Youâre a really good dancer, Iâm sorry I keep missing the beats.â
âYouâre giving me too much credit. Youâre not that bad.â
âNow youâre just lying. My limbs are physically unable to coordinate more than three steps. Youâre guiding me through every single one!â
His hands tighten just the tiniest bit around your waist, like a confirmation for the both of you that theyâre still there.
The teacherâs voice echoes all around you until it finally punctures your bubble, and youâre able to hear the class youâre here for. The steps sheâs explaining for a second time make no sense in your head, too many turns and moves for you (and your body) to comprehend.
âI need all the pairs to practice the final steps again.â
Only her final words make sense on your mind, and when you look towards Mingyu, his hand left its place on your body and is extended at you, his eyes kind yet concentrated back on the dance. You nod, taking his hand with an electrifying rush going through your veins.
Mingyu guides you firmly but with care, moving along the beats of the waltz. With each step, your synchronization improves, and the moves flow along easily, your bodies understanding each other. You canât help but smile as you look him in the eyes, a familiar warm feeling bubbling up inside you.
âYou're doing a really good job.â
His eyes catch yours, a little wrinkle forming by each of their sides before he cracks a smile to match yours. Thereâs something in the way he looks like when paying attention to you, like a spell being casted on you, making you crave more.
âItâs because itâs comfortable with you.â
Your mouth betrays you and sends out the words without checking with your brain, but weirdly enough, you donât fear his reaction. Itâs just the truth.
âWeâre more in synch than you thought.â
You swear you see a glimpse of a smirk before he spins you in his arms.
As you turn and move together through the song, you think your excitement isn't solely because of the rehearsal going well. It could be simply a wish, but a spark of something is definitely lighting up. The way Mingyu holds you, attentive and confident, you can't help to think he feels it too.
âYou think we can be this good the day of the wedding?â
Thereâs more anticipation than curiosity in your voice, remembering youâll keep meeting until then, youâll keep seeing him.
Mingyu reaches closer until his warm breath fans your ear and his lips graze your cheek.
âWe could meet a few days before and practice, like I hypothetically did today.â
âYou think I need practice?â You tease to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
âMaybe itâs an excuse to see you again.â
A mix of shyness and giddiness overtakes you as you giggle at his proposition. But in the midst of your interaction, you skip a crucial move and begin to turn, stepping right on one of Mingyuâs feet and almost tripping over to the side. His hand secures you by the waist, the hem of your t-shirt raised just enough so his fingers brush your fiery bare skin.
âOk, maybe I do need the practice too.â
The teacher talks to you on the background, but itâs hard to concentrate on anything other than Mingyuâs touch lighting fires across your body, his worried eyes over your âalmostâ fall, and his smile when he realizes youâre laughing at your clumsiness.
The music starts over, and you only realize it because his hand is extended at you once again.
âLetâs give it another try.â
âSo, you didnât get to ask him?â
âIâm sorry, I forgot about it. I was so focused on learning the dance that it slipped my mind.â
Running into Cassie coming out of the subway was the last thing you expected (and wanted) right now. Trying on dresses is the one bridesmaid related thing you were least excited about. So many hours of putting clothes on and off, picking colors, showing the rest of the girls, giving your opinion on their dresses, and listening to their opinions on yours. It just sounds so exhausting. But your mental pep talk got interrupted when Cassie saw you walking up the stairs of the station heading to the bridal shop.
âItâs okay, donât worry about it.â
âHe didnât say anything that would imply he has one, if that helps.â
More than a helping hand to her, you're starting to hope heâs single too.
âThatâs good to know, thank you.â
âI donât really get why you wanted to know, though. I thought you had a boyfriend.â
âHeâs not... I mean, itâs not like, official. I wanted him to get jealous, but I'm over that now.â
âOh, so... you talked about it with him?"
âKind of... he just explained why he couldnât come to the rehearsal, and I just, couldnât get mad at him simply for that, right?â
âRight...â
You know virtually nothing about their ârelationshipâ, or about him for that matter, so itâs maybe for the best to stay out of their⊠thing.
âAnyway, about today, do you have something in mind for your dress?â
âNot really, I was just thinking of browsing through the store and seeing what they have.â
âWow, really? Youâre so chill about it. I have a pinterest board with all the styles and shapes I like. I even checked their online store to see what they have in stock beforehand.â
âThatâs⊠actually really smart.â
âNah, donât be nice. Did you at least think of a color? Olivia wants all of us to be different colors, but in pastel, obviously. I personally didnât really care about it, but I chose pink after some thought.â
âOh, actually, I didn't know that.â
âItâs okay, you can decide when we get there.â
âDid the rest of the girls choose already?â
âMaybe? I havenât had the chance to ask them.â
âI hope I donât get green then, I donât really like how it looks on me.â
âYouâll look amazing either way. Donât let a simple color wear you down!â
Small talk with Cassie turns out to be quite nice in the short walk you have up to the store. It's a pretty shallow conversation, but not at all stressful like you thought.
The place is really fancy looking, tall glass windows and blinding white interior. It makes you take a breath just by looking at the displayed dresses. Relieved that Olivia said multiple times that sheâll take care of everything and not to worry about the prices, you and Cassie walk inside.
You didnât expect every girl to be already there, and you especially didnât expect the groomsmen to be also all there. The girls browse through racks and racks of different shaped and colored dresses, and the men are sitting back, talking with one another, waiting for their bridesmaid to ask for their opinion.
Cassie goes straight to greet Mingyu with a hug. Even if he isnât the closest one to the door. Even if Tyler is there also. And you walk behind her, slowly, shy because of all the people aware of your arrival. You give Mingyu a shy smile as a greet, and he returns it warmly.
After the dance rehearsal all those days back, youâve been hesitant about contacting him again. Thereâs nothing wrong with him. Itâs quite the opposite, actually. Heâs caring, attentive, and kind towards you. You just donât want to fall in your black hole of a crush on him again. especially after Cassie made it clear to you that heâs caught her eye too. Sure, she just told you she made up with her boyfriend, but her actions are already contradicting her words.
Olivia sees you with Cassie and walks quickly towards you two with a smile on her face.
âHey girls! How do you like the store?! Isnât it huge?â
âItâs unbelievable! Iâm gonna need at least two hours to look through all the dresses!â
Cassie answers, staring at the lengthy room in awe. You can feel Mingyuâs eyes on you. Or maybe on Cassie. Regardless, youâre in his line of sight, and it gives you chills.
âWell, you have all the time in the world today. I reserved the whole store for the entire day for all of us, and the staff is also here to help us if needed, so donât worry about asking for help!â
âThatâs amazing!â You both exclaim at the same time.
âThank you!â Cassie doesnât look back and goes straight to the racks of pink dresses. Youâre about to go and walk around as well. Maybe try to find a color that suits you, but Olivia stops you before you can even take a step.
âWait! I got the list of the available colors left for you,â she hands you a sheet of paper with almost everything on it crossed out, âIâm sorry, I know there isnât much left.â
âOh donât worry, itâs fine. I shouldâve picked it earlier. Itâs not your fault.â
Itâs disappointing to see that only two items arenât crossed out. Light teal and pastel green. Green and teal arenât ugly colors by any means, but you always feel awkward when wearing them, so youâve learned to avoid them. The back of your throat itches to close as you think about looking ugly at the wedding, in front of so many people, in front of him.
âI saw some of the teal dresses earlier, and theyâre all super cute! Youâll look amazing!â
âOh, ok, Iâll go check them out. But, just in case, isnât there any way for me to change colors?â
âYou could ask someone to swap with you.â
Your mind instantly goes to Cassie. Earlier, she told you she didnât care which color she wore, maybe she wouldnât mind switching with you. You spot her easily on one corner, asking Mingyu about his opinion. She looks up at him with glittery eyes as one of her hands places itself on his arm. The sight turns your stomach upside down. You want to stop watching the scene as much as you want to break them apart.
Your legs make the decision for you and walk you to where theyâre standing. They donât notice you walking over to them until you speak up.
âHey, sorry to interrupt you guys, but Cassie, could I ask you something?â
Mingyuâs the first one to look up at you, his face lighting up as you interrupt whatever Cassie was saying to him. Sheâs slower, making sure to hang the dress back on the rack before turning to face you.
âWhat do you need?â
There's very little annoyance on her tone, but you donât miss the way her eyebrows arch and her eyes dart to Mingyu, signaling you that she wants some alone time.
âI wanted to ask if you, by any chance, were willing to switch colors with me?â
âWhat happened? Which ones are left?â
âBasically, just green.â
âOh, thatâs such a bummer.â
Thereâs a silence when she finishes talking. You wait for her to continue, blinking at her, but she just doesnât. Her sentence ended there.
âYeah, so, would you swap with me?â
âIâŠâ Her body language turns awkward as she thinks of an answer, side-eyeing Mingyu, whoâs also waiting for her, but with no context to what youâre asking her.
âI just, you said you didnât really care about the color, so I thought you wouldnât mind changing it.â
You huff, not helping the awkward atmosphere around the three of you. Your eyes connect with Mingyuâs, who's silently watching the interaction from the side. You hate that heâs seeing you in such a state, so... desperate for something thatâs not that big of a deal anyway. You need this interaction to be over.
âYouâre right, I did say that,â you can already see where this is going, âbut, I kinda already put my mind to it, and it took a lot of convincing to get Tyler to match with me. He already bought his suit, and I donât want to make him mad by changing everything so suddenly, Iâm sorry.â
âOhâŠâ
You can feel your stomach contracting, your throat threatening to close, your eyes getting ready to be filled with tears. This is so stupid. Itâs just a stupid color. It's a stupid dress youâll never wear again. Why is it affecting you so much?
âWait, Iâm sure Tyler wouldnât mind changing.â
Mingyuâs soft voice sounds closer to you, but you canât really see much with your eyes trained to the ground and vision blurry from tearing up.
âNo, itâs fine, letâs not bother him.â
Blinking away the tears is easy, but looking up and finding a concerned Mingyu makes you feel like jelly. Cassieâs long forgotten as you focus on him, his tall figure watching over you, his hand placed on your shoulder, squeezing lightly, silently comforting you.
âIâll go try and find something I like.â
âI can look with you if you want.â
âNo, itâs fine, you can go back to what you were doing.â
You walk away, leaving him standing there, still worried about your sudden reaction. Cassie is just behind him, waiting for the opportunity to get his attention back.
But you try not to think about him or her while browsing through the store. Trying your best to be positive, to not get dragged down by a simple color choice, or by a friend â if you can call her that â that couldnât help you.
Hours go by, and itâs easier when you focus on other things. You help the other girls decide on their dresses, reacting and applauding, helping them find new ones if they arenât satisfied. Itâs fun, contrary to what you previously thought, itâs like playing a dress up game, except every now and then, itâs Cassie who comes out on the make-shift runway, and the first opinion she asks for is always Mingyu's.
At one point, everyone has already decided, and youâre the only one left. All the girls you helped come together to try and find you the best possible dress, bringing a new one to you with hopeful smiles on their faces every few minutes.
You try them on, eager to find one and be done with it. But, even if they look gorgeous when on the hanger, they always got something that doesnât sit right with you when you put them on. And after trying dress after dress, you grow more discouraged.
Olivia notices how tired you are and tells you that you can come back another day, alone and less anxious, but then again, that would mean stretching the situation for longer than needed. You decide to try on one more dress, one that Olivia picked specifically for you, and if youâre not satisfied, youâll come back with her the next day.
The store lady helps you put the dress on, her sweet smile never fading, even if itâs the tenth dress she helped you put on already. The pastel green silk fabric glides smoothly over your skin, hugging you in the right places as the lady zips it up. Your backâs facing the mirror, too afraid to look in it again and find another disappointing result.
âSweetheart, I think this is the one.â
The kind womanâs voice startles you, but her honest smile makes you believe her words. You inhale deeply, calming yourself before turning around. But instead of looking at your reflection, you walk outside the changing room and onto the lobby.
Every pair of eyes is on you the moment you step out, your arms wrap around your torso in an effort to shield yourself, and you can feel your cheeks being painted a bright red color. A few gasps are heard, and when you look around, the girls who helped you are all covering their mouths, eyes wide as they watch you cautiously strolling forward.
At the back of the store, itâs like time stops for Mingyu. Whatever he was doing, forgotten at the sight of you. He was unaware of how much your appearance could affect him. His eyes are trained on you, allured by your figure, scanning you up and down like a piece of art worth studying.
Buzz erupts all around you, mumbles and praises about your dress and how you look in it, but itâs all background noise for you. Mingyuâs heavy stare finds yours, and his ears turn a faint shade of pink. The subtlest smirk begins to form on his lips, spreading the warm feeling on your tummy all across your body. He canât seem to drive his eyes away from you, and you donât want him to. Your arms relax under his gaze, disarming the protective shield around you and drop to hang by your sides.
But, in a matter of seconds, the girls swarm around you, blocking all 360 degrees around you. Their positive opinions flood your ears as they walk you back to the dressing room, trying to convince you to choose this dress. You canât look back, but youâre sure all the groomsmen left together.
Doesnât matter. Youâre definitely getting this one.
After spending the whole day shopping together, it marvels you how these girls still want to spend time together. When they noticed all the boys left, they planned an impromptu girls' night at Oliviaâs apartment.
Itâs amazing how they can spend hours and hours talking with each other, a few drinks here and there, never running out of topics, entertaining you when youâre too tired to talk.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you sit back on your side of the couch to read the new text.
Mingyu: hey, how are you?
Mingyu: sorry i couldnât stay today, they dragged me to a boys night
Everything that happened a few hours ago flashes through your mind, waking a giddy smile on your face as you reply.
You: why are you sorry?
You: the girls wanted to do a âboys freeâ night, weâre at Oliviaâs rn
Mingyu: i didnt want to leave before making sure you were okay
Oh.
You: im better now
You: it was fun helping the other girls, took my mind off of it
You: but thank you, you didnt have to worry
Mingyu: good to know :)
Mingyu: next time ill drive you home
You: drive me home? Will i sit on the bike's handlebar?
Mingyu: i was thinking more like a piggyback ride
You: hmm... ill have to think about it
You tune back to the conversation before anyone notices you not paying attention, having no idea what turns the topic has taken in the time you werenât listening.
âI think heâs definitely seeing someone.â
The girls divided into two groups with different conversations going on, but sitting in front of Cassie, you can only hear her side of the table. They might be talking about Tyler and their ârelationshipâ problems.
âI really donât think he is. He didnât use his plus one you know.â
A smile forms in your mouth when your phone vibrates in your hand once again.
Mingyu: can you believe the weddingâs so close already
You: times moving so fast
You: i cant believe its less than two weeks away
Mingyu: it feels like it was only yesterday that tom told me he was getting married
âBut today, he didnât seem at all interested, he was really out of it from the start.â
âMaybe seeing dresses all day is not his thing.â
âNo but like, I tried every move on him, and he didnât even bat an eye.â
Bits and pieces of the still going conversation manage to register on your mind, and you realize theyâre talking about Mingyu, unaware of your current chat with him.
You: is the boys only hang out getting boring? Its not very polite to be on the phone you know
Mingyu: theyre all playing games, havent looked my way in over 30 mins
Mingyu: besides i much rather talk with you
You: well i wont argue with that
Mingyu: you seem bored too
You: youâre definitely helping me get through the night
âMaybe heâs just not interested in you.â
Olivia teases Cassie, even though her comment is more than just a joke. But why is Cassie so adamant on wooing Mingyu if, according to Olivia, she really likes Tyler?
âIâll be the judge of that.â
Mingyu: you know what I just realized
Mingyu: I forgot the dance routine already
You: omg me too
You: we might have to meet to practice like you said
Mingyu: we can do it at my place
Mingyu: you up for it?
You: i should ask you that
You: your feet are going to suffer because of me
Mingyu: thatâs a risk im willing to take
Mingyu: but I gotta warn you, I take my practice very seriously
You: sure, you can carry me back to my apartment after we're done
Sitting on Mingyuâs couch, waiting for him to get back from the bathroom, youâre too tired to do anything else than looking around his living room. Itâs so him. The warm and neutral colors make everything feel cozy, with pictures of him and his family hanging on the walls â no ambiguously romantic photos with unfamiliar girls, and everything is so tidy, not one pillow out of place, even after practicing for over an hour. Out the window, you can see the sun starting to set, and the buildings across the street start lighting up. You recognize all of them.Â
All this time, heâs lived so close to you. His building barely a ten minute walk away from yours. You canât help but wonder, what wouldâve happened if you kept in touch, if you just walked two more minutes to the park he frequents, or sent him a follow request on Instagram the few times he popped up on your recommended. It comforts you that at least you have this chance to reconnect with him, to make things right.Â
But sounding confident over text is easy, and now, youâve only danced for the whole time youâve been here, barely even talked about anything else.Â
Itâs conflicting, the guilt of meeting with Mingyu behind everyoneâs back â even if itâs no oneâs business â, the excitement of seeing him alone after weeks of only wedding related stuff, and the actual need to practice the dance so you donât embarrass yourself, all colliding in your mind, making everything awkward for you.Â
Like ten thousand spectators, the windows of every apartment watch you through the glass, just sitting, waiting. Mingyu left only a couple of minutes ago, but after the many times you stepped on him, you wonder if heâs actually hurt.Â
âAre you okay? Tell me if I need to call a doctor for your feet!âÂ
You shout with your head looking towards the bathroom door. His chuckle travels all the way to your ears before he opens the door.Â
âIâm fine, I swear.âÂ
As he comes out, your body tingles with nervousness once again. He sits beside you on the couch, unknowingly making your head spin.Â
âYou sure? I donât think feet are supposed to withstand all of that.âÂ
âIâm okay, just tired, why donât we rest for a bit?âÂ
They way he sits, on his side, facing you, and his arm resting on the back of the couch, your eyes canât help but wander to where his arm muscles start showing. Every variation of the phrase âbutterflies in your stomach" could describe the way you feel as he watches you, paying so much attention that you mumble your next sentence.Â
âThis couch is way too comfortable. It makes me want to just stay here the rest of the day.âÂ
âLetâs do it! We can even have dinner here. If we order take out, we can tell them to leave it at the door.âÂ
âThat sounds nice, but one of us will have to go get it.âÂ
âWhen my roommate comes home, heâll bring it inside for us.âÂ
âOh my god, you have a roommate? When is he coming back? I donât want to be a bother.â You look towards the entry hallway, like heâs about to come in and kick you out.Â
You really donât want to leave, Mingyuâs company is already becoming one of your favorites, but you hadnât counted on being around another person, and in their home for that matter. You start to get up from where youâre sitting, worried about having overstayed your welcome, but Mingyuâs hand grabs yours softly and drags you back down.Â
âI invited you here. Itâs not like youâre trespassing.âÂ
âBut Iâve been here for hours, is it not too much?âÂ
âI guess I don't want you to leave.âÂ
His hand hasn't let go of yours, his skin against yours waking up your whole nervous system. You like how it feels when heâs looking at you, but you canât help feeling too observed under his gaze.Â
âShould we practice one more time?â You get up as your other hand takes Mingyuâs free one to try and get him off the couch too. He doesnât fight your push, but you still struggle to move him barely an inch.Â
âNow that I think about it, my feet do really hurt.âÂ
When he stands up, your hands dreadly separate as you go press play on the song you had paused earlier.Â
âYouâre a big and strong man, you can handle one more dance.âÂ
The music starts slowly, and when you turn around to go where Mingyuâs standing, heâs quick to put his hands around your waist and bring you to him.Â
Like that day in the dance class, your bodies are quickly coordinated. Youâve been over the same dance for over an hour now, so at this point, every step is engrained in your muscle memory forever.Â
âWhy donât you take the lead on this one?â He mightâve felt your sudden confidence in the moves, but fails to realize itâs only because youâre doing it with him.Â
âDo you have a death wish? The last time I tried to take the lead on a dance like this, it ended really badly.âÂ
âBut youâre doing good now! Iâm sure it couldnât have been that bad.âÂ
âDonât you remember the senior prom? When I made my date trip and he fell onto the chocolate fountain? He got completely covered in melted chocolate.â He shakes his head, making you more confused. âHe dislocated his shoulder. You really donât remember?Â
âI donât-â He chuckles at your story but stops his words when he realizes you donât get what he wants to say, âWe left early.âÂ
âOh⊠I guess you had a good time with your date.â Thinking about him with someone else puts a bad taste in your mouth.Â
âI didnât have a date, I went with the guys.â Somehow, thatâs less believable than you being a good dancer.Â
âI vaguely remember seeing you dance with a girl. Is my memory failing me?â You remember because you hated it.Â
âMaybe I did dance with someone, but I couldnât score a real date.âÂ
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
âI am! Why donât you believe me?Â
âBecause I knew at least ten girls who had a crush on you back then.âÂ
The dance is already forgotten. None of you make the effort to go over the moves. With your arms hanging around his neck and his hands holding on to your waist, youâre just going around in slow circles, eyes connected as your talk turns into something more.Â
âWell, I wasnât interested in them.âÂ
âBut still, you couldâve easily gotten a date.â You could let the subject go, and maybe you should, but you really want to make your point. âI wouldâve gone with you.âÂ
âDonât say things you donât mean.âÂ
âBut I mean it.âÂ
âYou wouldnât have gone with me.âÂ
âYou donât know that.âÂ
âYes I do!â His tone gets serious, and it just makes you more desperate to make him understand. He needs to know heâs wrong.Â
âNo, you donât! You would know if you had asked!âÂ
âI wanted to!Â
You stop in your tracks, looking straight into his eyes, seeing little hints of shock on his face as he realizes what he said. If your bodies were closer, youâre afraid he could feel that you stopped breathing for a second.Â
âWhy didnât you?âÂ
âBecause I knew at least ten guys who had crushes on you back then,â youâre about to shut him off, but he continues, âand you did end up going with one of them.âÂ
âSo, you did see me.âÂ
âYeah, didnât stay much after that."
None of you know what to say, as your minds work tirelessly to understand what this conversation means.Â
âYou really shouldâve asked me.â Thereâs so much more you want to say, but you simply canât.Â
âYou were kind of popular and, I donât know⊠It messed with my head.âÂ
âI didnât care about those stupid labels, and I thought you didnât either.âÂ
âI know you didnât, but I wasnât a confident kid back then, I couldnât just go up to the girl I liked and ask her out.âÂ
Your jaw reaches the floor after hearing those words. The girl he liked?Â
Speechless for a few seconds, you can only look at him, trying to figure out if he meant to say those words specifically. He seems to be proud of what he said, showing no sign of regret.Â
âSo, now that youâre all grown upâŠâ you dare to let your fingers caress the skin at the base of his neck, and his hands tighten around you at the touch.Â
âOne would think that, after so many years, things wouldâve changed but-âÂ
âI donât believe youâre not confident by now.âÂ
âThat did change, but apparently, other things didnât, even after growing up.âÂ
He tilts his head to the side cockily, his piercing gaze making you feel hot all over.Â
âMaybe some things arenât meant to change.â Like an adrenaline rush, itâs your turn to feel confident as one of your hands starts playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. âI'm starting to discover some things are not that different for me either.âÂ
âCould it be, perhaps, the same thing Iâm talking about?â His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to him little by little.Â
âHmm, I donât know, youâre being very vague, I could be talking about still enjoying country music.â You joke so he doesnât notice your heart beating twice as hard as normal.Â
âI think you know what I mean.â His smirk is one new thing about him, not that youâve never seen it before, but the reason behind it makes it way more thrilling to see now.Â
âI want to hear you say it.âÂ
âYou really didnât know? I mean, back then, I always thought I made it obvious.â His chuckle sends shivers down your spine.Â
âI wish I did.â You canât help but think about how your life would be if you made a move on him all those years ago. âBut I never said anything either, I was shy too.âÂ
âGood thing we can make up for the time we lost.â
His droopy eyes send you down a spiral you have a hard time coming back from, all your insides becoming putty, feeling his want through his embrace, but thereâs still one more thing to get to.Â
âYou know⊠you say youâre so confident now and whatnot, but I still havenât heard you say it.â The look you give him is all he needsÂ
âFine, you win, I used to like you, and seeing you again made me realize I still kinda really do, Iâm always eager to get your attention and to spend time with you.â He pauses to take the quickest breath ever, all while youâre losing yours. âI know weâre not the same people as back then, but if you want to, we can get to know each other, again, more mature and less stupid. I have my regrets about how I handled my feelings in the past, but I wonât make the same mistakes again. And I will ask you on a date after the wedding, just a heads up.âÂ
âWow, I was fine with just an âI like youâ, but itâs nice to see youâre just as down bad for me as I am for you.â You confess with a joke because, how can you possibly answer that? Your brain is barely receiving enough oxygen as it is.Â
âAnd one last thing, I really, really, really, want to kiss you right now.âÂ
âThen why are you not doing it?âÂ
It takes a second for the words to register in his head. A second where you only look at each other, almost not believing whatâs happening. The air around you gets so thick, so hot, almost unbearably heavy. And just when your hands begin to push his head your way, his lips attack yours. Â
All the resurfacing feelings come to life, colliding like a thousand stars that have been running to meet for millions of years. His arms around you bring your body closer to his, forcing you on your tiptoes to follow his lead while his hair tangles between your fingers.Â
It's surprisingly slow, yet hungry and desperate, making the other feel everything through the connection of your lips. You move along with him naturally, and when he bites your lower lip as a request for access, you donât hesitate. His hands creep under your shirt just as his tongue dares to move past your lips, exploring your whole body to his liking.Â
Your chests flush together, leaving little to no space between your bodies, and you can do nothing but melt in his embrace. Your hands wander around his arms and back, touching and feeling every muscle they encounter on their way. When his hands travel down your lower back and reach your ass, you sigh on his lips and immediately feel his smirk against you.Â
A furious knock on the door makes you both jump and separate, leaving you looking at each other, breathless and with confused faces, until you hear a knock again, as strong as the first one. Thatâs when Mingyu decides to check his phone and sees it's his roommate, who had apparently forgotten his keys. Both a blessing and a curse.Â
âBro, what the hell? Iâve been calling you for about 15 minutes.â You hear the door opening, followed by a new, deep voice.Â
âI told you I had company.â Their voices echo through the hallway.Â
When they finally reach the living room where youâve been awkwardly trying to make yourself look presentable, the roommate's face morphs into something, a mix of surprise and realization. You rush to gather your stuff after muttering some variation of âhelloâ and 'goodbye' to him. Your heart still pumps twice as fast as normal, and you donât trust youâll be able to handle yourself if you stay for longer.Â
âIâll see you on the weekend?â Mingyu asks when youâve both reached the entry, his hand on the handle, hesitant to unlock the door.Â
You want to kiss him again so badly. His lips are parted, still swollen, calling to you to connect them with yours again.Â
âFind me when you crash the bachelorette party.â You make your best effort to sound confident and not at all dizzy because of him. Â
âYou know about that?âÂ
âThe bridesmaids know everything... Itâs only a surprise for Olivia.â You peck him goodbye, like a promise for more. And the feeling of his lips on yours lasts all night.
Itâs roughly around 1 am. when a high-pitched scream from Olivia announces to everyone at the bar that the bachelor party has officially arrived.Â
The effects from all the alcohol you consumed in the last 4 hours are just starting to fade, only a little buzz left. But that doesnât prevent you from seeing whatâs happening all the way across the room.Â
Mingyu standing with his hip resting on the barstool, listening to Cassie as she drunkenly asks him something. You want to stop looking, not wanting to let all your previous feelings resurface again, not after the recent development in your relationship with him. But just as soon as youâre about to turn your head the other way, Mingyu interrupts Cassieâs rumbling and tells her something, to which she doesnât respond, nods awkwardly, and just walks away, leaving him standing there.Â
Thatâs your signal to walk over to him.Â
âLooks like I found you first.âÂ
âDamn, I wanted to get you a drink first.âÂ
The music and the people drunkenly signing and shouting makes it hard for your voices to reach the other, and Mingyu takes the opportunity to take a step closer to you.Â
You stand against the bar as the room grows warmer and warmer the closer his body gets to yours. His height taunts you as he stands against the bar as well, forcing you to look up so you can see the smirk on his face. His fingers play with yours as the intensity of his stare increases. You donât care that youâre in public, that anyone from the wedding can see you two. Maybe you want them to.Â
âHowâs your night going?â His hair tickles the side of your face.Â
âIt was really fun, I might be growing fond of the girls." You donât remember much, just a vague memory of many different games you played to get drunk, and the feeling of being happy. âHow about yours? Donât tell me you went to a strip club or something like that.âÂ
âActually, we did a drunk escape room, didnât even know those existed until today.â
The closeness between you is getting more worrying by the second, mainly because if you hear his low chuckle next to your ear one more time, you might pass out.Â
âThat sounds horrible!â You chuckle away from his personal space, only to encounter his hungry eyes already looking at you.Â
âIt was fun, I wish you couldâve been there.â His honesty has a sultry tone to it that makes your lungs completely empty of air.Â
âIâm not sure we wouldâve made a good team.âÂ
âWhy? Youâre smart! Or at least you were back then.âÂ
âHey! I still am!âÂ
âI really have to get to know this new you.â
The pink and blue lights reflect on his face, giving him the most beautiful sparkles on his eyes, directed at you.Â
âItâs not that new, Iâm still very introverted, donât talk much when thereâs a lot of people around.âÂ
âI like that, youâre observant, good thing to be while in a escape room.âÂ
âWeâre still talking about that?âÂ
âMaybe, maybe not, I donât really care, I just wanted to spend time with you.âÂ
âAre you drunk?â You can only ask with a smile plastered on your face, but he shakes his head.Â
âYou kinda make me feel like Iâm a teenage boy again, I donât know how to explain it.âÂ
âI think I get it.â You place your hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart under it, even harder than the music blasting out of the speakers.Â
âYou know, back then, every time I had a free period, I would make my friends walk past whatever class you had, just to get to see you, at least for a second.â Out of everything heâs drunkenly confessing, this may be the one that surprises you the most because you really never realized he felt the same. He notices you freezing in place. âOnce they found out, I was relentlessly bullied by them.âÂ
âI sure hope it was worth it.â If the lighting was any better, he'd be able to see the cherry red covering your cheeks and ears.Â
âEvery second of it.â Everything around the two of you moves slower, like timeâs stopping only for the outside world, and the muffled background noises do nothing to pierce the bubble around you. âI really want to take you on a date, a real one.âÂ
âI would very much like that.âÂ
You can see the gears turning through Mingyuâs eyes, and you move your eyes down to his lips so he can take the hint. But nothing happens as someone else enters your little world.Â
Oliviaâs aware that somethingâs going on, her eyes switching back and forth between the two of you before she speaks.Â
âI need your help, Iâm sorry to interrupt, but Iâm getting worried about her.âÂ
âAbout who? What happened?â Mingyu stays behind you as you turn to Olivia, grabbing one of your hands, and his warmth gives you goosebumps.Â
âItâs Cassie, sheâs been sitting alone in the restroom for I donât know how long, she's way too drunk and I canât take care of her.â
You now realize sheâs slurring her words, meaning sheâs also too drunk and therefore canât take care of another drunk person, leaving you no choice but to go help Cassie. You look back at Mingyu, who encourages you to go, even if it takes a little too long for his hand to let go of yours.Â
The graffitied restroom provides you with a little more light than the rest of the place, and when you enter, you recognize Cassie sitting on the floor inside one of the stalls. Luckily thereâs no one guarding the bathrooms because if sheâs seen throwing up, it could potentially get you both kicked out.Â
You sit on the dirty floor beside her without saying a word, letting her know youâre here to help without giving her a headache. Her foreheadâs resting on top of her knees as she hugs her legs tightly. But after a minute or two of silence, you decide itâs best to check if sheâs at least awake.Â
âCassie? Are you okay?â Your hand on her shoulder makes her look up at you.Â
âI donât feel so good, I just want to sit down for a while.â She sounds tired, her husky voice giving away all the talking and singing sheâs been doing all night.Â
âDo you need anything? I can get you a cup of water.âÂ
âNo, please, just stay here a bit, I didnât want anyone to see me but I donât want to be alone.âÂ
âOk, Iâll stay, let me know if you need something, anything.âÂ
Time passes by, the music making it easier for you to not get bored. A few people enter the restroom from time to time, too drunk or too in a hurry to notice you both sitting down. Olivia passes by the door a few times, hovering, checking if everythingâs okay (and if youâre still in the same position as the previous time). You just smile and nod, letting her go back to her party time and time again. But at last, in one of her check-ins, she finally walks inside.Â
âHey, Mingyuâs looking for you!â Both you and Cassie look up at Olivia, but her eyes point at you. âWhat do I tell him?âÂ
You instinctively look to Cassie by your side, and her expression falls.Â
âDonât, donât go with him.â She finds the strength to plead to you, but she seems more worried than anything.Â
âWhy? Did he do something? Is that why youâre hiding here?â Olivia asks, and you realize she didnât leave after you didnât answer her.Â
âNo, no, I mean, yes Iâm hiding from him, but he didn't do anything, it was me, I embarrassed myself.âÂ
âWhy are you telling me not to go with him then?âÂ
âDo you like him?âÂ
âI-â Wow, blunt question out of the blue.Â
âYou can be honest, itâs fine.âÂ
âYeah, I do, I like him.â
Telling them, her, the truth feels kind of freeing. Finally admitting in front of them that you like someone, after not being able to for so many years, itâs like you can finally breathe.Â
âThen, for your own good, donât go with him, heâs seeing someone.âÂ
âWhat? How do you know?â That freedom lasts barely seconds before a new weight falls right on top of your lungs.Â
âHe told me, when the guys got here, he said that heâs been after a girl for years and they recently started going out.âÂ
âAre you sure? Did he use those words?âÂ
âIâm not saying it verbatim, I donât remember it exactly word for word, but thatâs what he meant.âÂ
Could he possibly be talking about you? How recent is ârecentlyâ supposed to mean? You havenât even started officially dating. Is confessing your feelings considered the start of dating? Is it supposed to be this confusing? Are you going to believe her? Not that Cassieâs a liar, but you donât know the context nor the exact words he used, and she doesnât know what happened between you and him either.Â
âShould I go tell him something?â Olivia's already standing up, your silence not helping the situation.Â
âJust-" You donât want to push him away, but itâs not the time to resolve this. The whole thing is too confusing to be making desperate decisions at this hour of the night, âTell him to go have fun with the guys, Iâm getting Cassie home.âÂ
The loudest alarm you couldâve ever set up wakes you up with a jump. Your head hurts like your inside out emotions are building houses inside your skull. But the memories still hit you as soon as your eyelids burst open. Some decisions were definitely made the night before. Wrong ones? Thatâs to be seen today.
And thanks to the gods and Oliviaâs always late waking family, youâre not supposed to be at the venue until 11 am. Only bad news, Itâs on a luxury complex outside the city. You have time for a real breakfast and a shower, but all the thinking and feeling will have to wait.
You unlock your phone to find the last text conversation open and the messages you barely remember sending stare at you through the dim screen.
Mingyu: you left so suddenly
Mingyu: everything ok?
You: yeah
You: had to take Cass to her place, she wasnât feeling well
Mingyu: thatâs too bad, hope she feels better
Mingyu: you just got home?
You: yep, about to go to bed
Mingyu: great, just checking before i head to sleep
Mingyu: sleep well, big day tomorrow
Admittedly, you were a little dry. Cassieâs words were still lingering on your mind, making you doubt everything. One side of your brain telling you that he was probably talking about you, he explained what he felt and what he wanted and sounded sure and truthful. But, the other part of your brain, the still self-conscious and self-doubting side, also makes valid points. The void years in between your relationship werenât mentioned in his confession, and you technically arenât dating. He hasnât even asked you out yet! Itâs too conflicting. But you know you have to face both of them today. After the ceremony.
The taxi ride to the venue is not only long but full of traffic. The sun shining bright directly to your face, the light humming of the driver to the songs of the radio and the occasional car horn on the distance, somehow make it bearable, with all the thoughts about the previous night, switching sides between the he said she said, itâs nice to have something constant while your minds goes on a rollercoaster.
A rollercoaster that doesnât stop even when you arrive. As soon as you step foot outside the car, Oliviaâs mom rushes you upstairs to where the make-up artists set up. Thereâs no time to admire the beautiful countryside venue. You walk past the door to where the ceremonyâs going to be held later, but rush up the stairs without even looking. The green dress already waiting for you at the door, an infinite echo of voices and even more people running around make the atmosphere feel dizzying.
Nothing slows down for even a second. Even when youâre sitting down having your make-up done, around you thereâs only people rushing to do everything, stressing about the little details, people running into the room to tell Olivia or her mom about decorations, the wedding planner coming in and out constantly, checking everythingâs in order. Itâs kind of beautiful how all this mess has the sole purpose of making today the best day for the couple. Even if it doesnât look like it, no one will remember the dress that wasnât properly ironed, or the string of hair that had too much hairspray on it, or the too slippery shoes that made it a chore to walk on the tiled floor.
So much chaos happens between the hair and make-up, and then with the photoshoots, you donât have time to talk to Mingyu. Your eyes would cross from time to time, but those milliseconds of him in a suit glaring at you from across the room are enough, and thereâs so much of that you can take before an internal chain reaction begins.
The walk downstairs, after all the make-up retouches and fixes to any rebellious stray hair that didnât want to stay in place, feels like the first calm and slow moment of the day. As the steps get closer and closer to the bottom floor, the red carpet muffling the clicking of your shoes, your insides feel fire-like when you see Mingyu waiting for you by the final step, an unknowing smile on his face. His eyes drill holes on your figure, scanning you up and down shamelessly.
âYou chose this one, I like it.â He whispers by your ear as you walk to the door, where every pair is already waiting. A little smile shows on your face, but it fades when your eyes encounter Cassieâs, watching the two of you with a frown so little you only notice because she immediately relaxes her face.
The music starts before you can say anything to Mingyu, and one by one, each of the bridesmaids start walking down the aisle, arms linked with the groomsmen, gracefully walking forward as the eyes of every guest fall on them. Your arm tangled with his is the first touch you share since many days ago, and even with all the conflict making your mind a blur, your heart speeds up at the feeling of his muscles.
Nothing seems slow anymore, and the ceremony almost goes by without noticing. There isnât one second where you donât feel Mingyuâs eyes on you, making it impossible to focus â or pretend to focus â on what the priest is saying.
The moment your brain reconnects with your ears, Thomas delivers the most beautiful vows youâve ever heard. You met the guy only once, never even spoken to him, but the way he speaks so fondly about Olivia makes your heart clutch in your chest, and your throat tries to fight it, but you end up bursting with tears. But youâre not the only one with a cascade of dramatic tears falling with seemingly no end. As the room fills with applause and even some whistles at the first kiss between the officially married couple, you see some people with tissues, quietly blowing their nose.
But the never-ending rush in time continues, everyone sprinting to sit at their tables for the reception. The last retouches of make-up get done quickly. The girls gossip to kill the time before the dance, because for them itâs moving so slowly, but in the blink of an eye, youâre going out the door once again, just as Cassie taps on your shoulder. You turn to her, expecting her to be angry, or at least to start speaking, but it looks like sheâs still figuring out what to say.
âThank you, for taking care of me last night, Iâm sure you wouldâve preferred to enjoy the party.â
âI wasnât going to leave you alone, itâs fine, you donât have to thank me. Are you feeling better?â
âYeah, I am! But actually, I wanted to apologize.â Your head spins, dizzy from the world suddenly stopping hearing her words. âI didnât know there was something going on between you two.â
âThereâs not- I mean, not much happened, I didnât want to cause a fuzz over it.â
âBut you shouldâve told me you liked him, at least! If I knew about it, I wouldnât have gone after him.â You see in her eyes nothing but honesty. âI know weâre not as close as before, but these are the things we need to tell each other. Itâs the girl code.â
âI donât really know why I didnât, I know I shouldâve, I didnât know how.â Youâve now started to go downstairs to the reception, already the time to dance in pairs.
âLook, itâs okay if youâre not comfortable telling me this, but did something happen? Was he talking about you last night?â
Youâve reached where everyone is waiting, and youâre too embarrassed to look up and possibly find Mingyu standing there, leg-melting and breathtaking.
âI thought about it but I donât know, maybe?â
Back at the reception, the music starts, signaling the newlyweds are about to begin their first dance, meaning in no time youâll have to step in and dance around them.
âIâm going to ask you three questions and you just have to answer yes or no. There's no need for explanation, okay?â
âOâŠKay?â
âSo, you two knew each other in school, did you like him?â You nod shyly, not looking in her eyes, embarrassed to be talking about this so openly, âDid he like you?â You nod again, âAnd did something happen recently that would indicate that he would like to date you in the near future?â
You give her a final nod and finally look up at her. She sighs, taking your hand and squeezing it to make you pay attention.
âThen he meant you dummy! Go, talk to him. Heâs been staring at you all day like a lost puppy.â
When you dare to look his way, where you just knew he was standing, heâs looking at you, a little smirk on his lips and subtly motioning he's ready to take your hand. You didnât notice it was already time, and everyone around you stands in their position.
The pairs start entering one by one, and your smile trembles, feeling the eyes of every guest on you. Your fingers barely graze his, but they feel raw, like you can feel every particle of his hand below yours. The electric fire emerging from where your skin connects with his runs through your veins in record time.
But as soon as the music starts and Mingyu turns you so youâre looking at him, everything is forgotten. The steps come easily, his eyes calm but observing, his hand on your waist guiding you as he did every time you practiced.
âYouâve been avoiding me.â He whispers, not wanting to disrupt the moment, but knowing itâs the only time youâll get alone.
âI swear I didnât mean to.â
You panic. There was so much to do and so few words you could come up with to say to him that maybe you unconsciously avoided him by locking yourself up in the make-up room.
âDid I do something wrong?â He doesnât sound hurt, but rather just plain curious, eager to work this out between you two.
âNo! it was just a misunderstanding,â he waits for you to continue, but the part of your brain that makes sense starts crumbling, making it impossible to form a coherent argument, âI- can I ask you something? It might sound stupid, Iâm warning you.â
âGo ahead.â He chuckles, his feet continuing to dance while you've already forgotten about it. One of your hands stays on his shoulder, while the other is being held by him, still in the air by your sides, reaching the height of your shoulders.
âYouâre not dating anyone, are you?â
He doesnât let the silence even come close to the two of you, chuckling quietly so youâre the only one who can hear it.
âIâm not, hard to believe I know, but Iâm painfully single.â
âGreat, I just wanted to make sure.â
âI remember telling you I want to take you on a date.â
âY-yeah, of course I remember that too."
The pit of your stomach lights up at the remainder of that afternoon in his home, your bodies as close as they are at this moment.
âThen what made you think that?â
âYou just, you said to Cassie last night that you started seeing someone recently and, I donât know, we didnât technically start dating, so I panicked.â Saying it out loud to him, it sounds ridiculous, but if he thinks that, he doesnât show it.
âOh that, yeah, I mightâve gotten ahead of myself, but hey, think of it as manifesting.â Heâs so charming that you donât care that heâs making no sense.
âNext time, donât tell a drunk girl whoâs flirting with you the wrong information. She might spread it around.â
The synchronized chuckle you let out makes you pay attention to the forgotten situation. Youâre dancing and havenât tripped once, like your muscles got a life of their own and remembered every single step. And you suddenly realize how close your body is to Mingyuâs. One hand down the small of your back, pressing just enough to hold you in his personal space, his face close enough that you could concentrate on his breathing and feel the light exhales on your face.
When the music ends, the applause makes you look around, and your cheeks feel warm immediately, noticing all the eyes on every one of you. But the attention is short-lived, as you and Mingyu walk quickly to your table so the couple can do the welcome toasts. You don't miss how he slides your chair closer to his before you sit down.
Sitting by your side, Mingyuâs body and yours are connected by an electric current, drawing you closer. His knee stays glued to yours, and the cut on the side of your dress allows your bare skin to brush against the fabric of his pants. A conversation takes place between everyone at the table, one of the guys telling a story about something funny that happened with Tom back in high-school, but itâs hard to pay any real attention when Mingyuâs fingers start tracing circles on your knee. Heâs not even doing to be a tease. It seems like itâs a habit of his, one that youâre just discovering. You donât stop your fingers from playing with his, and a subtle smirk forms on his lips at your action.
Itâs not like youâre doing anything too flashy or indecent, but you do your best to mask your reactions to his touches, to try and keep the people of the table unaware of the not so innocent things going on under the fancy tablecloth. He only notices your changes because heâs paying attention to you. The way your chest rises just a tad bit more when his hand goes a little over your knee, or how you drink from your cold glass of water when he presses on the skin of your inner thigh, but when heâs about to move his hand off of you, you put yours on his to keep it in place. You also notice things throughout the night, for example, that Mingyu isnât drinking a lot, restricting to one glass of champagne per serving. You do the same, wanting to remember this night in the future.
Mingyu stands up when the dancefloor opens again, turning down an offer to go to the bar for something stronger than sparkling wine. Instead, he reaches for your hand, silently inviting you to dance with him, to which you agree, with a smile and avoiding his eyes. Following behind him, he doesnât let go of your hand, even when youâve reached the spot he wanted. People join you on the dancefloor, drunkenly vibing to the dj set, surrounding you, and blocking you from anyone you know. Itâs feels almost private. Whatever song is playing on the speakers, it doesnât prevent you from following your own rhythm in your own world. Your arms wrap around Mingyuâs neck, and both of his hands hold your waist, mirroring the evening at his place.
âSo, tell me, what other embarrassing things did you do when you liked me?â
He throws his head back in embarrassment, sighing with a smile before daring to look at you again. His ears turn a light shade of pink, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat between your bodies.
âI really told you that, did I? I was hoping you wouldn't remember.â
âNope, I remember it very vividly actually.â
âLetâs leave the embarrassing stories for the future, I wasnât in my best condition last night.â
âYouâre making me too curious now, but how drunk did you get last night?â
âHonestly, I was just nervous about seeing you and about tonight.â He might be confessing another embarrassing thing, but behind his truthful tone, thereâs something you canât quite decipher.
âWhatâs there to be nervous about tonight?â
Your heels allow you to be in his line of sight, and your chests are too close. If you inhaled deeply, youâd be able to feel him on you. He takes advantage of your new height and forces your attention to go to his lips, smirking shamelessly as he thinks his next words.
âDid I tell you how pretty you look today?"
One hand comes close to your face, removes a strand of hair from blocking your view, and tucks it behind your ear.
âOh, shut up.â
You canât even think of a snarky response, your brain melting and showing just how much he affects you. Goosebumps spread all across your arms and back at the feel of his hand caressing your skin.
âI canât, itâs all Iâve thinking about all day, you, this dress, and you in this dress.â
You instinctively hide your face on the crook of his neck, his cologne invading your senses. Itâs hard to think of words when heâs looking at you like he wants to eat you whole.
âI got it because of you. Do you really like it?â
Not that you need any confirmation, since heâs told you twice already, but it wouldnât hurt to hear it from him one more time. Your reveal makes his smirking lips graze your ear, sending shivers down your spine, and his voice drops an octave to answer.
âI love the dress, but Iâll love it more once I get it off you.â
âI hate you.â
You barely manage to say, your chest rising but breathless at the same time. Your bodyâs automatic reaction is to push him away, and your hands go straight to his chest to try, but of course itâs pointless. His hands catch yours, not letting you leave his personal space. He taunts you by spinning you around, and once you do a full twirl, he grabs you by the waist again and brings your body to his.
âYou have no idea how hard it was for me that day when you stepped out, wearing this.â He gets closer to your ear with every word. You hate it and love it. For one, you can hide from his teasing eyes and blush in peace, but on the other hand, you are cheek to cheek with him, his breath fanning lightly on your side, and you can feel heâs still smirking. âYouâre lucky there were other people in the room.â
A breath catches in your throat, and you swallow hard. You thank all the gods there are out there for being surrounded by drunk people. Because to anyone on their senses, your reaction to Mingyu's words would be too obvious.
âI really hate you right now.â
Itâs getting harder and harder to ignore the heat growing at the pit of your stomach.
âYou donât.â
âI do.â
âI think itâs quite the opposite actually.â
How are you supposed to play hard to get when his hands hold you like he wants to keep you forever?
âYou think you know everything.â
You catch your voice about to tremble when his free hand starts going down the side of your arm, from your shoulder down until your hand, and interlocks his fingers with yours.
âIf you hate me then, I canât tell you the secret Iâve been keeping all night.â
âHave you been secretly writing an article about how to break someoneâs heart in 10 days?â
âI love that movie, but it has been well over 10 days, I couldnât make the deadline.â
âRom-com connoisseur, noted.â You jokingly nod, but not forgetting whatâs important. âNow tell me.â
âSo, you know how they told us there were rooms available for anyone that couldn't drive home?â You nod, too enthusiastically. âI may or may not have booked one for tonight, and if you want to, thereâs space for one more, we donât have to do anything if you donât want toâŠâ He keeps talking, something about you watching him do something, but you get lost in the way his lips move as he talks, so pink and fast and hypnotizing.
âIsnât it rude to just leave?â
The question leaves your mouth more to tease him than anything else. You want to be alone with him so badly, feel his body all over yours, his hands everywhere he can reach, ripping this godforsaken dress off you.
Before the last food serving rolls out and everyone scatters to go back to their seat, you sneak out of the reception, but the drunk bodies are not making it easy. Mingyu leads the way with you grabbing his hand and walking behind him. You donât know if you couldâve managed another teasing touching session under the table.
You take a left turn into the hallway just at the same time as one of Olivia's drunk uncles, a stranger to the both of you, whoâs half asleep using the wall to steady himself as he walks. The music echoes through the walls, and you can only look at each other, half about to burst out laughing and half needing to take the others clothes off, as you walk as nonchalantly as possible past the man trying his best to open his door.
Giggling like teenagers, you finally reach your room at the end of the hallway, but the second you enter, the atmosphere changes. Standing by the closed door, shoes off, panting, and frozen in place, you only look at each other. Your breaths regulate, and your smiles slowly fade off your expressions as the realization hits. Itâs real. Heâs here, and youâre here, in a room just for the two of you. His eyes are bound to your parted lips, but you wouldnât know, as yours are also unable to leave his.
Like magnets, brutally drawn to each other, your lips finally reconnect in a hungry, desperate kiss. After learning how sweet he tastes, how his lips glide over yours so easily, how he wraps his arms around you to keep you close to him, there was only so much time you could spend in abstinence.
No words needed, the want translating in the way your hands push him against you, his hands traveling across your back, touching and groping everywhere he can reach. After the long day testing your patience, neither of you can slow down.
His fang claws at your bottom lip, making you whimper against him. He drinks in any sound you make, his arms bringing your body impossibly closer to his, almost making you one. No one is in control, both of you just touching and grabbing anywhere you can, desperate for more.
Your mouths reluctantly separate as Mingyu starts leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and biting lightly on your sensitive skin, making you gasp. You can only thread your fingers on his hair, encouraging him to leave any marks he wishes to.
âIs this okay?â
His raspy voice travels to your ears, and you donât trust yourself to not make unholy noises if you open your mouth to answer. But just as youâre humming, he digs his teeth just above your clavicle, turning your hum into a moan.
He slowly slides the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his fingers teasing your skin on the way down. His hand travels across your chest, only the silky green fabric in between your fiery skin and his teasing fingers. They go over your pointy hard nipples, feeling everything on its way, but not letting it stay anywhere for more than a second.
âAre you going to take it off?â
Your breathlessness makes him chuckle, smug and cocky as ever.
âRushed?â
âVery. Youâre the one that put the thought in my head, now take care of it!â His hands sneak up your back, playing with the zipper of your dress.
âDonât act so innocent.â His tone goes straight to your core. The fabric around you loosens up as his hand runs down your spine, but he stops before it gets too loose to slip down. âYou think I didnât see the way you looked at me all day? Youâre not slick.â
He takes a step back to take off his suit jacket, absentmindedly throwing it to the side without breaking eye contact. But you don't let yourself get shy.
âWho said I was trying to hide it?â
Your hands run from his shoulders to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt one by one as his breathing speeds up. The warmth of his body envelops your hands, your fingers barely grazing the skin above his pants, and his muscles tense at your touch before you slip his shirt off.
âNow whoâs the one teasing?â
Pulling on the red tie around his neck, he swallows hard as you bring his head closer to yours, so close you unconsciously flutter your eyes closed. His bare chest rises against yours as you undo his tie slowly. You could tilt your chin up and break the tension once more, but something in you wants to keep teasing him.
A step back is all you need to have his lips chase you, and he opens his eyes, droopy and confused, to find you slipping your dress off. His stare turns surprised and hungry as you reveal yourself for him, but his body stays frozen in place.
âIâm supposed to do that.â
Itâs your time to chuckle now, taking a step forward again. His hands slot on your waist instinctively, traveling to your stomach, enjoying the feeling of your soft skin against his hands.
âYouâll get to do it next time.â The sentence is almost left unfinished, a breath getting caught in your throat when his hands dare go up your chest. But theyâre gone in a heartbeat, as they reach your face and tilt it so you can properly look at him.
âAre you sure you want to do this?â No teasing tone on his voice.
âIâm literally naked in front of you.â Your hands go back up to his neck, pushing his head slightly down, reaching a hypnotic closeness. âI want this, I want you Mingyu.â
Confirmation is all he needed to let loose, to let the want take over his body and soul. He connects your lips with force, and wastes no time. With his hands on your ass and his tongue working its way inside your mouth, he stumbles backwards until you both fall on the bed.
With you on top of Mingyu, your hands make their way across his chest, his golden skin glistening due to the sweat. You can feel his hard muscles tense under your touch, making him sigh on your mouth when you find his sensitive spots. His hands move to your hips and push you down on him, making you both moan un unison because of the first friction between your cores.
His growing hard grinds deliciously against you. Even with his pants still between you, you can feel how big he is, and the wet patch on your panties grows by the second. Your lips are still smashed together, a mess of saliva allowing your lips you glide faster and hungrier on his, your tongues becoming one, not wanting to separate ever again.
Your hands find their way down his abdomen, reaching where his pants hang on his hips. The absence of a belt makes it easier for you to unbutton them, and he takes the off expertly, all without ever taking his hands off you.
The second your hand sneaks under his underwear, he groans under you, disconnecting your mouths to take a look at you.
âIs it embarrassing to be already close?â His blood red lips are parted, breathing out his confession, and you almost moan, clenching around nothing because of the sight, or his confession, or maybe the whimper he fights when you wrap your hand around him.
âYouâre so big, fuck.â You sigh, and the side of his mouth quirks up, but slowly disappears as you start sliding your hand down, smearing the precum on his length.
âIâm not gonna hurt you.â
His eyes have a mix of concern and lust on them, and your body doesnât know how to react, your stomach flips, your hands tremble, and your underwear grows wetter.
âI know you wonât.â
You climb down on him, your eyesight reaching where his boxers begin to tent. His gaze follows you, like he canât believe the reality of whatâs happening. You take off the last piece of clothing left on his body, and his dick springs free, standing proud and angry red in front of your eyes. The throb on your throat makes you move forward, wrapping your lips around his leaking tip.
âWait. Donât.â You look up at him but heâs facing the ceiling, ears red and eyes closed. âI canât.â
âI havenât done anything.â You play innocent, and a smirk appears on your face when he finally looks at you, resting on his elbows.
âExactly, thatâs why I canât, I need to have a little bit of pride left.â
âWhat do you suggest we do?â You slowly climb up on him again, his hands moving to your hips like they got a life of their own. One hand on his chest and one hand on his jaw, you kiss him softly, and he melts at your touch.
A soft moan is heard, could be from him, could be from you, but your mind is too clouded to care when he rolls his hips against yours, following the pace of your lazy kiss. A rush of arousal takes over your body when he presses you harder against him, his length sliding perfectly with your core, your wetness making it easier to reach every point that makes you gasp.
âI want,â his lips stop working on yours, but his arms keep you from separating. You feel his every breath, every gasp at the friction, and his lips graze yours when he speaks, âI want to taste you.â
âFuck.â He might just be able to feel the new rush of wetness dampening your panties further and smearing around his hard below you. His hands push your hips up his body. He told you what he wants, and heâs showing you exactly how he wants it. âAre you sure? I donât want to crush your skull.â
âI wouldnât mind that, at least Iâd die happy.â
âWell, I canât argue with that if you want it.â
The chuckle he lets out reverberates from his chest up through your whole body. Thereâs not much you can do besides complying with his wants, especially with the way your bodyâs reacting to the sole idea of it and the way heâs moving you to where he wants.
His hands sneak under the strings of your underwear, and as you climb higher and higher, he removes them easily, leaving you bare on top of him.
âYouâre so wet, shit.â Your pussy pulsates just above his face. You canât see his reaction, but you for sure can hear it, âI wouldâve done this sooner if I knew this was waiting for me.â
From your point of view, his whole face is covered, by you, on top of him, only his messy hair laying on the mattress can be seen. A view thatâs dizzying and hypnotic at the same time, and you canât think of any answer to give him. His breath on your wet core makes you shiver, but youâre afraid to sit down, afraid youâll hurt him.
Mingyu senses your hesitation and gives you no more time to doubt. His head rises until his tongue meets your folds, flattening on you, desperate to make you feel good. The sudden stimulation makes your legs tremble, and you would've fell on his face if it wasnât from his hands still holding your hips.
He starts making out with your cunt, moaning and groaning against it like this is also pleasurable for him. His tongue finds every place that makes you gasp, moan and whimper, and with every lap at your folds, a nasty wet sound accompanies it.
A shaky moan escapes out of you when he envelops your clit with his lips and sucks lightly, making you grab the headboard so you donât fall on him.
You mustâve fully sit on his mouth in your search for support, because he moans louder against your pussy, and you can feel everything. His lips and tongue working to drink every drop of arousal that leaves you, discovering every sensitive spot you didnât know about.
The tip of his nose bumps your clit just as his tongue finds its way inside your pulsing hole, and you instinctively move your hand down to pull at his hair. The action encourages him to go faster, harder, and when you grind on his face and he groans like heâs enjoying it, you let go.
Riding him, chasing your high, youâre using his tongue for your own pleasure. Your hand on his hair tightens, and you lose the little control you had of your throat. But the unfiltered sounds you make just push him harder. Every one of your senses is clouded. The wet sounds, the way he moans against you, his tongue already knowing where to go to make you squirm, everything culminates without warning.
You cum on his tongue faster than you have ever before. Your thighs tremble at either side of his head, and you realize youâre crushing him between them. But he doesn't let you get up. His tongue continues to work on you,
He cleans you up, drinking every last drop of arousal smeared on your skin. You spasm over him every time he ânot so accidentallyâ flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, starting to get you overstimulated.
You use the strength you have left to push his head back, and take advantage of his surprise to plop down on his side, your back on the mattress and your pussy finally away of his eager mouth.
âAre you okay?â
From the corner of your eye, while you try to recover, you see Mingyu doing his best to clean the lower side of his face.
âYeah, fuck, that was a lot.â You manage to say in between breaths. âI need a second.â
âIf youâre too tired, we can st- fuck.â
You donât give time to overthink, quickly getting on top of him again, your swollen dripping cunt right on top of his still hard cock.
âSecond's over.â Only a little smirk is the warning he gets before youâre grinding on top of him again. All of your juices mix as you slowly ride back and forth, his length sliding between your wet folds deliciously. âIâm clean, and on the pill, are you?â
âOn the pill? Unfortunately not.â How he manages to make you laugh even on your horniest moments will forever remain a mystery. âBut Iâm clean, Iâve never had sex without a condom before.â
âMe neither. I guess this will be a new experience for the both of us.â The sole thought of it makes his dick twitch under you.
âAre you sure?â His hand cups the side of your face, and his eyes look at you with such care that you could melt in an instant.
âYes, I donât want to wait anymore. Weâve waited long enough.â That seems to relax him, his hands beginning to roam freely across your torso.
Sliding forward makes the veins of his cock drag along every sensitive spot and you both moan before his tip finally prods at your entrance. A loud hiss comes out of him as you align yourself with his length and push his tip in.
But before you can go any further, he wraps his arms around your waist and turns you around so your back is against the mattress. You gasp at the sudden change, and when he starts slowly sinking into you, filling every possible space inside you, you lose your breath.
His cock being covered by your fluids makes it easier, and when he finally bottoms out, so deep you feel him everywhere, you hear him trying to muffle a moan. Your gummy walls clamp around him, trying to get used to his size. The twitch of his length feels stronger while inside you, and you know heâs trying to resist the urge to pound into you.
âMove, please, I need you.â Your pathetic whimper triggers another smirk out of him, and as he moves down to give you a soft kiss, his eyes darken.
âWhatever my girl wants.â
The slow drag of his cock as he starts sliding it out almost make you delirious, but before his tip slips out, he snaps his full length right back in, making your body jolt upwards. You can't speak properly, a curse you canât even hear leaves your mouth before he repeats the action, again and again.
âSo deep, Mingyu, fuck.â The brutal pace he sets has him abusing every single sensitive spot inside you, even the ones you didnât know about, hitting relentlessly where it makes you scream, and youâre seeing stars.
âYou donât say my name often,â his voice is raspy and deep, almost mirroring the way his cock pistons inside of you, âI like how it sounds coming out of you."
Your palms are against the headboard and youâre sure the bed hitting against the wall can be heard from other rooms, but when one of his hands sneak between your bodies and starts circling your clit, you stop caring all along.
The grinding of your hips matches his rhythm, accentuating everything as he drives you closer and closer. With his face just above yours, you can only look him in the eyes and let him watch your face contort in pleasure feeling every vein of his cock dragging inside of you. With any other person, you would be self-conscious, but as he finds that spot inside you that makes you squirm, you forget the world around you and focus on grabbing his strong arms for support.
His teeth find your neck again, biting and kissing on your soft skin, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, and he doesnât stop drilling his hips into you. Somehow, you feel him deeper with every thrust, and the only thing you can do is claw your nails on his arms and back, encouraging him more and more.
âYouâre so tight, shit.â His hips stutter when you clench hearing his voice. âTell me youâre close, please, fuck, I donât now how long I got."
âYes! Yes, donât stop.â You tighten impossibly harder around him when you feel him pinch one of your nipples. Heâs literally everywhere, stimulating every spot to tip you over the edge.
Your arms and legs cage his body so close to yours that he has trouble keeping up with his pace, but that doesn't stop him from pounding hard. The sound of skin your skin hitting against his and his groans are like music to your ears.
It's when his thumb teases your clit again that you finally snap.
You tremble around him, moaning uncontrollably as he keeps pounding into you, prolonging your orgasm as he pleases and chasing his own. But heâs far gone too. Your sweet moans in his ear and your walls clenching around him so perfectly are enough to have him spilling inside you.
Sleepiness is about to get you when you feel him sliding out you and plopping by your side. Naturally, one of his arms slots under you as your head rests on the crook of his neck.
Thereâs silence while you both catch your breaths, his hand softly drawing circles on your back and yours on his chest. As reality sinks in, giddiness fills your entire body, and you canât contain the smile growing against his golden skin.
âDid you do any embarrassing things back then?â The sudden interrogation makes your cheeks turn red.
âIâm guessing thereâs no way out of this, right?â You avoid looking up at him to not make your shyness obvious, and you feel him shake his head as an answer. âFine⊠you know⊠your fangs?â
âMy fangs?!â Amusement and surprise mix on his voice.
âFuck this is so embarrassing.â Youâre caged between his arms but you manage to cover your face with your hands.
âYou liked my fangs?â
âI still do, but yeah, I would just draw little fangs everywhere, I guess no one ever noticed because they looked more like vampâ"
âWould you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?â He luckily interrupts your embarrassing rant with his pending question.
âAlready? You want to see me again that badly?â You feel the chuckle on his chest before you hear it, and at that moment, itâs the best sound youâve ever heard.
âI plan on taking you on dates at least three times a week. Youâre never getting rid of me now.â He embraces you in his arms, chests flushed together, and when you tilt your head up, heâs already looking at you, expectant for your answer. âSo, what do you say?â
âYes, I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow.â The smile he gives you might be the most blinding smile youâve ever seen. âBut just so you know, I do not have sex on first dates.â
thank you so much for readingâ„â„ sorry this took so long to finish
#mingyu au#seventeen au#seventeen smut#mingyu smut#svt smut#kim mingyu au#svt au#kim mingyu smut#mingyu imagine#mingyu x reader
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i found a good boy, and he's on my side | lando norris smau
lando norris x reader | a little bit of best friend!oscar
summary: when y/n's ex writes a messy song about her, fans push for lando to break up with her (he doesn't even consider it)
fc: sabrina carpenter
kind of a part 2 to what a coincidence, but you don't have to read part 1 for this to make sense
warnings: non-existent angst, lando very much in love with y/n, very brief mention of cheating (not lando), maybe some typos
note: y/e = your ex
yourex
liked by user1 and 593,827 others
yourex Biting My Tongue out tonight
Finally sharing my truth
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user1 WE LOVE YOU Y/E
user2 ready for the tea đż
ynfan2 PLEASE LEAVE Y/N ALONE I BEG WE'RE OVER YOU
ynfan1 "sharing my truth" OHHHH BROTHER
user3 the y/n fans getting nervous
ynfan2 not nervous, sick of his lies
user2 perhaps y/n isn't as perfect as you think
user4 anyone else just here for the music
user5 @ yourusername YOU ARE SO OVER
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, yourbff, and 1,138,827 others
yourusername leng
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ynfan2 UNBOTHERED QUEEN
user2 is she just pretending her ex didn't drop a shady song about her
user6 lando still in the likes ... this is so sad
yourbff your reminder to not wear the red top this weekend
yourusername you've seen my outfits already TRUST there's no red in sight
landonorris that's my girl
ynfan1 MOTHER IS GOING TO SILVERSTONE
user4 how has lando not dumped you yet
user5 you really don't deserve lando
user3 HAS LANDO HEARD THE SONG YET? DUMP HER!!!
ynfan3 what's with all the loser hate comments
landonorris my girlfriend is sooooo leng now come give me a kiss
yourusername calm down
yourusername on my way tho
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landonorris
liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername, and 983,492
landonorris a little summer fun
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user1 JEALOUS
yourusername who's the baddie
landonorris that's my girlfriend mate back off
ynfan2 WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS
user3 waiting for the dumping...
user4 crazy that they're still together
user8 i think some of y'all are a bit dramatic, the song wasn't even that bad and it's just his perspective
ynfan3 A LANDO FAN WITH A BRAIN
yourbff last pic i want her baddddd
landonorris so you don't want [redacted]'s number anymore?
yourbff WAIT I TAKE IT BACK
ynfan2 QUEEN Y/BFF FINALLY APPROVING OF ONE OF Y/N'S MEN
oscarpiastri you stole my best friend
yourusername we literally have plans next week
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,293,283 others
yourusername is this thing on? đ€
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ynfan1 MOTHER IN THE STUDIO!!!!!
ynfan2 the last pic has me crying đđ i just know she's about to be a menace
user2 if she's actually making a response song that's kinda pathetic
user3 right? her fans all say y/e is using her for fame but she's also doing it
yourbff let me hear it first
oscarpiastri i better get the link first
landonorris ignore both of them, i get first dibs
user1 THE DRAMA if she's making a response song lando better get out of there quick before he's her next victim
user4 WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
ynfan3 all these haters camping on y/n's post omg she's so famous
ynfan4 WE LOVE YOU Y/N IGNORE THE LOSERS
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,428,372 others
yourusername my turnđ©·
surprise! planned to keep these in the vault, but i guess things change. 'vicious' and 'eternal sunshine' live performances out now on youtube! studio version out friday đ
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landonorris proud of you love đ€
yourusername đ§Ąđ§Ąđ§Ą
ynfan2 OH MY GOD NO WAYYYYYYY
ynfan3 "my turnđ©·" THAT'S MOTHERRRRRRRRR
ynfan1 love lando supporting her through it all that's a good man
ynfan4 SHE SPILLED Y/E IS SO DONE
yourbff i love you so much!!!
yourusername love you!!
user3 these songs are really good ... sorry for hating before
user1 some of y'all switching up in the comments, she could be lying!!
ynfan5 perhaps i misinterpreted the lyrics, but did y/e CHEAT ON HER???
ynfan3 pretty sure đ
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yourusername
liked by yourbff, landonorris, and 1,391,283 others
yourusername it doesn't get, doesn't get better than this đ§Ą
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yourbff LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH
ynfan4 THESE HAVE TO BE LYRICS
ynfan3 more lover girl music coming soon LET'S GOOOOOOO
ynfan2 y/n writing her two shady songs about y/e then going back to writing cheesy love songs for lando we love to see it
landonorris how i obsessively adore you đ€
ynfan2 y'all they're quoting future lyrics right in front of our faces i just know it
user3 it's not looking like a break up any time soon
oscarpiastri answer my texts
yourusername sorry been busy đ€
oscarpiastri disgusting
yourusername NOT LIKE THAT.
ynfan5 Y/NLANDO WILL ALWAYS PROSPER
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landonorris
liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 1,028,832 others
landonorris we are never breaking up btw
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ynfan2 LMAOOOOOO
yourbff i'll have to break all of your bones if you ever hurt her
landonorris the scary thing is that i actually believe that you would
oscarpiastri hurt her and your life is over
landonorris DAMN DID Y'ALL READ THE CAPTION OR NO
user3 they're kinda growing on me y'all ...
ynfan4 everyone say we love you mom and dad
user4 worst news of my life
user2 i'm gonna be forced to like her this is terrible
yourusername thank god
landonorris if you leave me i think that i just might lose it completely
yourusername don't ever quote my songs at me again
#lando norris#f1#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1#lando norris x reader#lando norris au#lando x reader#lando norris smau#lando norris fluff#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris imagine#lando x you#lando x y/n#lando norris insta au
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