#i think that it's far more complicated than that

[katiascraft]

"Him" | LN4

Parings: Lando Norris x bestie!reader.

Summary: Oblivious idiots to lovers. That's what Max said.

Word count: +2,7k.

Warnings: nooone just pure fluff and some language hehe. Not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.

Author's note: AAAAAAA i loved writting this one 🥹 Dont forget to comment, like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

“You only say that because you fancy him, y/n. You can't play with me”Max said out of nowhere while talking about the whole Lando drama and his fourth championship at Danny Ric’s house. Your three have been best friends for quite some time now. Actually, you have been friends with most of the grid for a couple of years now. They were like family to you and recently, you moved countries to live and study in Monaco and be able to spend more time with your friends.

“What have you just said motherfucker?” you acted offended. Nethertheless it took you by surprise that he said such a thing when you have never talked about Lando and your feelings for him with him nor danny. But Max knew you too well to already know the whole story. Of course Danny laughen and you could feel the heat going up your face. You feel exposed so you try to cover up by drinking another sip from your glass of white wine. You thank god it was in the privacy of Danny's house and not some random bar for everyone to hear.

“Oh c’mon y/n, i think it’s pretty too obvious by now” max continued noticing the panic and surprise on your face.

“Yeah, it is obvious and cute to see how you drool, staring at him everytime he talks. And not to mention you eat him alive at races when he is all sweaty -” danny continued the torture but you stopped them both making them laugh.

“Just stop!” you said “you guys are impossible!” your face was red and anxiety took over you for a moment.you sighed defeated. “To be honest with you, yeah, I do like him. But lets be real, im nt even his type at all” you said remembering how he was kissing magui, that model he fucks now and the, kind of a situationship, in front of your fucking face the whole night a few weeks ago. “And even as impossible as it sounds, if there was an actual chance for me with him, we wouldn't work either. I'm complicated. And he doesn't see me like that. He never did. And i'm sure that won't change like ever” you added just convince yourself of everything you said. It was impossible, right? There was no chance in this universe for him to see you like that. You are so far from what he used to date. It's just an innocent crush. You’ll meet someone,right? You saw Max denying with his head.

“y/n, i know you are not the most confident human being i know but be fucking for real, you are not complicated. And everything you said it's nonsense. You are fun to be around, you make him laugh until he pisses himself, you give him his favorite things, you bake him cookies and pies, you listen to him when he is sad, you are like the bestest person next to him. And let me tell you, I have no doubts he is into you as much as you are. It's in your eyes guys. You love each other more fondly than you want to admit” he said leaving you speechless for a moment and with a mess of confusion around your head. You wanted to believe him but at the same time you can’t.

“Mic drop, sir” Danny said and they both laughed. You smiled but rolled your eyes in disbelief.

“I wish” you finally said, making Max roll his eyes.

“Two oblivious idiots, can you believe it danny?” Max said ironically and Danny followed him.

“I see it mate. It's sad. I wanna cry” he said.

“You guys are impossible." You declared to go back to your trivial talk about cats and australia barbecue.

(...)

It was a beautiful saturday. You were thankful Ria said yes to accompany you to buy a new outfit for tonight's party. Martin Garrix was in town and lando invited you all to his friend's show. Coffees in hand, you were chatting about everything and anything.

“So the plan is a sexy outfit just to impress your boy?” she teased and you rolled your eyes.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea that I like lando? As if he would care what I wear or not” you said, a little irritated. You just wanted to conquer someone else tonight to forget about all of this and move one. You knew it was impossible that Lando liked you back so why be stuck in it? You were gonna dress up and doll up and conquer whoever you may please. That was your masterplan.

“Girl, you need to relax. I say it first hand: he cares a lot fucking much. He likes you. I just know.but you two are too dumb to accept it” she said raising her shoulders.

You felt so confused once again. These were Lnados friends who knew him just like you did. First it was Max and Danny and now it is ria. You didn't want to fool yourself. And at the same time you wanted him to know for the longest time. You wanted him to notice you. And you also knew him and you knew how he is with girls and if he liked you then he would've told you by now.

“Ria, dont play with me” you begged. Concern showed in your voice. She gave you a gentle hug by your side.

“I won't ever do that to you y/n. I would never in a million years forgive myself if I did. You're my friend and I just want you to be happy. Believe me” her voice was soft and sweet. You just smile and change the subject. You didn't want to discuss this anymore. Nor did you think you could handle it.

(...)

Saturday night finally came and so did the margaritas you so dearly adore when you needed to forget reality. You were pretty tipsy by now. You met Franco Colapinto and you didn't even know he was invited but oh god he was so fun to be around. You've Been talking to him the whole night about whatever to be honest.and yeah, he looked really hot tonight by the way. You felt lucky he even looked at you and so you followed around.

You bumped into Max at the bar table after ordering yet another margarita. He looked at you a little tipsy as well.

“So you replaced lando for an argentine prince, huh?” He teased you.

“Oh shut the fuck up verstappen. Were in public” you said going back to the barman who was handing you your precious margarita drink. He rolled his eyes.

“Be careful. Lando's not happy” he said and disappeared into the people holding his vodka with red bull. Weird mix but he was loyal to his employers i guess.

You came back to where Franco was waiting for you to be back. He looked so cute under the lights in that white shirt he was wearing. And speaking of white shirt you saw Lando talking to him. You cursed yourself right there. You may or may not have ignored him the whole night. But you just couldn't face him after what all your friends said. You just didn't want to be tempted by his pretty shiny green eyes and his mouth. Oh what you'd give up just to taste his lips.

“Oh there is the missing girl,” Lando said, looking at you when you arrived and smiling nervously. The tension established between you two even Franco noticed it.

“Guess it is my turn to go to the bar. Be right back, guys” he said and left the two of you alone. You took a sip from your glass avoiding his sight.

“What's wrong with you?” he said kind of offended? Anger could be clearly heard in his voice. You sighed not knowing what to answer.

“What do you mean lando?” you decided to play the fool. You wanted to run away. His eyes were intimidating you.

“One day we watch movies together and bake cookies and the other you ignore me for several days and even flirt with another dude straight to my face?” what he just told you took you by surprise. You frowned, confused at his statement. The tension was burning your throat. He got closer and so you finally faced him. You looked at him. His face straight and his eyes dark with a little sparkle. You couldn't read what was going on inside him. Maybe he was just as confused as you were. “You look too pretty in that dress to be talking to him and not me” you could breathe his warm breath tasting tequila mixed with lemon. You swallowed hard. Your insides exploded. what was happening? He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him. His touch burns your skin sending shivers down your spine. This was actually happening? Your hands were shaking. You really thought about what to tell him. A devilish smile appeared in his face when he thought he left you speechless. But you weren't ready to let him win.

“Well, for your information, I'm single and I can talk to wherever my vagina pleases so that shouldn't be none of your business. Also, why would I talk to you if you have been talking with more than one girl tonight? I'm a selective lady. What can I say” you smiled innocently.

He bit his lip. He tightened his grip around you. More possessive. More irresistible. Your innocent smile turns into a triumph smile. ”so if you dont mind i’ll keep talking to Franco and luckly fuck him. Have a good night Landito” you said provocatively leaving lando hanging into his words as you pulled away and walked away from him. His brain is malfunctioning.

And as you promised you kissed and fucked Franco Colpinto that night.

(...)

It was already the next sunday and Lando had disappeared. There was nowhere to be found. He didn't reply to your texts nor your calls. He became just dead silent. That made you feel even more confused than you already were. What did it mean what happened at the party? What were his intentions? Why didn't you kiss him? You were torn into feeling guilty and stupid at the same time. Like you had an actual chance with him but you didn't take it. And you didn't even know why. You hated yourself so much for that. How stupid.

Max, Lando's best friend, invited you over along with Pietra and Lando. You were cooking some vanilla flavored cookies with chocolate chips. The famous crumble cookies. Lando has been pretty much ignoring you. And you have been really quiet. Very unusual both ways. The tension was irritating. Max and Pietra tried to play it cool but it was very uncomfortable. When Lando came back from the bathroom, Max took him into the terrace and you stayed with pietra inside in the kitchen doing your stuff.

“Babe, what happened between you two?” she sounded genuinely worried. You sighed stressed.

“To be honest with you, I don't know. After a weird moment at the party last Saturday, he has been ust ignoring me. I didn't know if he was even alive if Max didn't invite us here. Very childish in my opinion but what can I say? I Didn't face him either.” you explained and pietra frowned her eyebrows.

“You need to talk honey. You need to tell him” she said, sobbing in your arms. You pressed your lips together looking outside through the glass door straight to lando seriously talking to max.

(...)

After the worst and most traumatic hang around with Max and Pietra - the cookies were great by the way - Lando offered to give you a ride and you said yes. Probably the worst decision of your life because the tensi could be cut by a knife and it was hard to breathe of how dense the air was inside the car. His radio was playing Jmaes Blunt ‘you’re beautiful". It was one of your favorite songs. How pretty was to you to enamour someone just by existing in the subway going to work or going back from university. You just romanticized that idea. You started mumbling the lyrics in a whisper just to not disrupt his comfort. But after a few seconds he turned off the radio and you looked at him weirded out.

“I can't do this anymore,” he said, parking his car on the side of the road. Anxiety kicked you. You licked your lips looking at your hands and he was just starting to nowhere outside his car window.

“I really like you y/n. I am in love with you in fact. And dim so stupid i realized about it when i saw you with Franco kissing. His hands touching you grossed me out. It felt wrong because that should've been me - not him” he finally looked at you. What he just said took you by surprise and you wanted to cry but holded inside. You looked back at him. The knot in your throat was unbearable.

“We are idiots,” you said, remembering what Max said to you a couple of months ago.”Because I'm in love with you. I was too afraid to tell you and ruin what he had. Losing you terrifies me. And to be honest I just thought you wouldn't even look at me that way. I never felt pretty enough for you, I don't know why” when he heard you say that last sentence his heart sank.

“I always felt you were out of my league to be honest. Please, y/n, you're gorgeous, and funny as fuck, and intelligent, and sweet and such a great person. You're almost perfect. Don't ever talk about you like that. I'm just an idiot. A normal stupid ass dude. Don't compare yourself like that ever again” he said feeling a little guilty for you to feel that way even though it was not his fault.

You gave him a soft smile nodding.”you know? I can't believe every single friend of yours told me for months that you liked me and I just couldn't believe it. How dumb I gotta be. So I'll fight the intelligent compliment of yours” you said, making him laugh.

“But let's be honest, who thinks straight when they are in love?” he said with the most precious smile and sparkly eyes looking at you so fondly. You knew you had heart eyes in your eyes.

“Fair point” you said, smiling widely. And you giggled out of nervousness. He did too.

Two kids in love. You dreamed about this day for so many years. You just hoped that it wasn't another dream because it felt like one. And without asking, Lando took you out of your self doubt and inner conversion pressing his lips into yours in the most felt kiss you have ever given. The man that you are Lando norris. You cupped his face on your hands making the kiss more intimate and passionate. A kiss you two wanted to give for so long. You said everything in that kiss. You just knew this was it. This was the start of the most exciting and magical love story. And it was yours.

It was him. It has always been him. Lando. Your best friend. Him and no one else by your side.

(...)

Your eyes filled with tears of joy. You were at the wedding of one of your best friends: max verstappen. Lando was holding your hand gently and so dearly. They were speaking their vows and everything was so emotional. You were such a sensitive soul. Lando loved that about you. So pure in emotions. So vulnerable yet so strong and brave. That was you and watching the isle,he knew it was you who was gonna be there with him when the moment came around. The bride kissed the man and you two cheered the new wife and husband of the group. You looked at Lando for a moment knowing he was the love of your life and it was gonna be you two there one day.

What you did not expect was to take in your own hands the wife’s bouquet announcing you were next in line to get married. Youcelebrated in happiness and laughter around your friends and Lando. You kissed him so fondly.

“I love you bestie” you said between his lips grabbing him by the neck, the bouquet in one of your hands.

“I love you bestie, forever” he said with heart eyes hugging you looking at you with love in every fiber of his body.

“Forever and always” you assured him.

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Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any idea my inbox is open so send your requests!

[jessica-problems]

Les Femmes Damnées: Fuck! Marry! Kill!

Invent a lesbian. Roll 4d6 or pick:

Invent 1-3 more. Relationships between every pair start with 1d6 passion and 1d6 trust. 

Each turn, roll 2d6 for each woman's behavior(see table). Pick who she impacts, adjust their relationship stats accordingly. (Or spend 1 trust to reroll.) Journal the results.

At 15+ Passion: If Trust is 0 or less: Murder Attempt. Whoever has more trusted allies survives & gets -2d6 trust with the other’s allies. If Trust is greater than 0: Marriage. When one cheats, she gets -1d6 trust with her wife. Play until everyone’s dead or married.

Author's Note: I'm really quite proud of this one. Earlier drafts were titled Bad Women Kissing Each Other, and I still can't decide which name I like better. "Invent a lesbian" is possibly my favorite way I have ever introduced the rules of a game. Game length does significantly increase as you add more lesbians. Each additional woman effectively doubles the amount of numbers to keep track of. In playtesting, we found that 3 lesbians was a good sweet spot. I had a whole lot of fun iterating on this idea, figuring out how to express complicated passions in such a tight word count. I'm actively choosing not to spend more time fine-tuning the resource economy. This was supposed to be a fun quick thing and I've already spent almost a week on it. I'm quite proud of how much storytelling I was able to pack into what is basically "roll on this table over and over again". If I had just a few hundred more words, I think I might be able to turn this into something really special.

I also want to thank several very helpful playtesters: Misty, Chills, Neither.nor and Crox, who all gave very good feedback and suggestions. Misty also came up with the *excellent* subtitle. It captures the entire arc of the game in three words.

Counting by hand, and the word count on google docs, both put this at exactly 200 words, including the charts. And I like to think this game uses every one of them to the fullest. The 200-word-rpg official counter puts this at 224 words. As far as I can tell, the difference is in how it divides up math expressions. You have my permission to archive this game offsite. Anyone who wants to also has my full permission to hack this, remix it, or do whatever they want with it. You could get a whole lot of mileage out of just changing the words in the first table.

200 Word RPGs 2024

Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.

This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.

[isagrimorie]

From House of R Podcast with Jac Schaeffer

Schaeffer: What I think it is important is that Billy holds himself responsible. I think, in these sorts of fantasy spaces in the MCU and other genre spaces the death toll, the repercussions of things are different than in the real world. Agatha's body count is staggering. She's also a centuries-old witch. So, you know, it's a tricky part of this work, and the way that I ground myself is: what is the character's opinion and emotions of their actions. I think Wanda is far more villainous than people give her credit for before Doctor Strange 2 not even talking about Doctor Strange 2, looking at WandaVision. I think if Billy had been made to realize on the Road what he was doing, he would have stopped it immediately. I think he also--his rage at Agatha in the basement when he's trying to banish her I think is about that, that she knew and she didn't tell him. But Wanda totally knows full well she's told, she sees what she's doing and she continues. I'm not calling Wanda a Villain at all, I think, she is wildly complicated and fascinating, and I love her. I think she also has an enormous amount of trauma, not that trauma is an excuse for anything. But I also look to Billy and that Billy has had three years of a calm, peaceful, loving home. You know? And I think these things are important. Agatha has never been loved by parental figures, ever. She's never been told she's good or valuable by parental figures. As far as we know, Rio is the only person who's told her that she's valuable, that she means something, that she's special. You know, so anyway, back to your question of the sort of morality. I'm not super concerned about people's--about fan reaction to it. It's like what I see as my accountability as a Storyteller and my team's accountability is making plain the internal life of these people when they make these decisions

(Emphasis mine.)

It is refreshing that as a storyteller, Jac writes a story for the characters.

There is a place for morality play stories, but not all stories should be one.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

Random opinions about how aging works for elves, half-elves, and hobbits:

For hobbits, I stand by my belief that hobbits do not age to maturity any slower than humans, they just have a more “millennial” (speaking as a millennial) attitude to adulthood, and then get old slower than humans do. If you have more time in “middle age” and old age than the humans do, then socially ending up with an extended period of youth and irresponsibility, relative to humans, seems like something that makes sense. I don���t think Pippin (age 28 during LOTR) is actually the hobbit equivalent of a teenager; I don’t think they would let him go on the quest if he was.

Also, Merry is born in 2982, making him age 19 when he’s helping Frodo out in the aftermath of Bilbo’s 111th birthday-party and surprise departure; that’s a reasonable human age for him to be doing that, whereas assuming a notable difference for hobbits means Frodo has recruited a preteen to fend off Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, which, while funny, is not what I think the narrative is going for.

Frodo had retired for a while and left his friend Merry Brandybuck to keep an eye on things. When Otho loudly demanded to see Frodo, Merry bowed politely.

“He is indisposed,” he said. “He is resting.”

In terms of elves, I think comparisons to human aging are complicated because elves age to mental or social maturity faster than they do to physical maturity in a way that is not the case for humans. LaCE says:

Not until their fiftieth year did the Eldar attain the stature and shape in which their lives would afterward endure, and for some a hundred years would pass before they were full-grown.

…The Eldar wedded for the most part in their youth and soon after their fiftieth year…at whatever age they married their children were born within a short space of years [as the Eldar reckoned time; in mortal count there was often a lomg interval between the wedding and the first child-birth, and even longer between child and child] after their wedding.

I personally would regard a 50-year-old elf as equivalent to a human in their early 20s, in terms of maturity; with the exception that, unlike a human, it might still be some time after that that they reached the peak of their physical strength.

This is relevant to the fact that Maeglin chooses to leave Nan Elmoth and go to Gondolin when he is approximately 70 years old. He’s not a child or even a teenager; he’s probably roughly equivalent to his mid-20s.

In terms of peredhel (half-elves), I am convinced that they age to maturity at a human rate, with the difference that they stay at their peak of health and strength for far longer after that (and, if they choose to be counted as Elves, retain that appearance basically permanently). This is because of the few dates that we have, in History of Middle-earth, for Dior, Eärendil, and Elwing. Granted, these are Tolkien’s draft notes, and he edited them continuously; but one version has Dior’s twin sons being born when he is 30, while a family tree has them born when he is 22. There’s a timeline where Elrond and Elros are born when Eärendil and Elwing are both in their late 20s to early 30s. We can choose to conclude either that marriage and having children is happening at a terribly early age to people who are basically teenagers, or that that half-elves age like humans and they are doing these things at normal times. I choose to conclude the latter – and given that Dior marries and has children before Thingol’s death, when he is living peacefully in Ossiriand (Elwing is named for a waterfall near his home in Ossiriand) and there is no especial urgency, I think the conclusion that they age to maturity like humans and choose to get married and have children at human-similar times is the one that makes the most sense.

[mothiir]

writing proper fic still eluding me so here is a list of how i think the primarchs would respond to their sons trying to romance human women:

Sanguinius - he isn’t thrilled about the idea, not because he thinks that love and romance is a bad thing — quite the opposite — but because he knows the tragic fate many of his sons will suffer. What human woman can survive the tribulations of the red thirst? How many of his boys will end up tearful and repentant after their control slipped, and they hurt the human they love? Mortals are so fragile — it is better to act as their guardian than their lover. Still, if he were to find out that one of his sons was seeing a mortal, he would simply gently suggest that the son in question take every proper precaution — ultimately, the choice must belong to them.

Vulkan - yes! great idea! Please do have relationships with humans - have children, rear families. When the time comes for them to pass, mourn them, but celebrate the life you were blessed to share with them. You cannot call yourself the protectors of humanity if you do not partake in it. Salamanders live amongst their human families, and relish in the kinship and love this brings them. Vulkan has given away many a Salamander in marriage.

Ferrus Manus - sex is self-indulgent nonsense. Be better. He is not the sort of man to give his sons relationship advice — nor are they the type to ask it — so he never makes an official proclamation against having mortal lovers, because Iron Hands are far too sensible to even consider it (rumours that they replace their dicks with ceramite remain unaddressed).

Horus - The Luna Wolves are — uh — enthusiastic about their involvement with humanity. Unlike Vulkan, Horus discourages lengthy attachments — have a fling if you must, have several (don’t let those flings find out about each other), but don’t try and settle down. Luna Wolves are soldiers, designed to conquer distant stars in their father’s name. One day, they will be able to plant roots in rich earth, and rear sons of their own. But not now. Not yet.

Leman Russ — Humanity is a beautiful thing, and its daughters are more beautiful yet. Leman doesn’t begrudge his sons their dalliances, nor does he discourage them from wedding — he just asks that they remember that their first duty is to the Allfather, and the pack. As long as they don’t get any ideas about sneaking off somewhere to retire, everything is fine. Russ welcomes his son’s wives to his fires — and, if they’re amenable, to his furs.

Fulgrim — much like Sanguinius, Fulgrim has complicated feelings about human women. He’s been married four times, loved each wife dearly, and had to watch them die of one ailment or another. He wants to spare his sons the torment he felt, but he also doesn’t want to deny them the full range of human experience. He ends up encouraging them to cultivate an artistic appreciation for romance — a sort of courtly love, where they paint pictures of the woman they like, and write poetry, but never actually engage in anything too direct. If he keeps their love aesthetic and sterile and distant then maybe they can avoid the heart-deep pain that comes from watching your lover perish.

The Lion - are you kidding me? His sons don’t even want to admit that they know what a woman is, just in case he somehow takes it as an insult and they end up banished.

[gabessquishytum]

It’s been like. Five whole minutes since I’ve turned fun sex things into hurt/comfort. So. :)

human au, when Dream and Hob get together Hob thinks Dream has a run-of-the-mill oral fixation. He always seems to want to suck Hob’s cock, warm his cock In his mouth for ages, when they have sex he insists he wears some kind of gag.

The truth is though… it’s not that Dream doesn’t like those things, but that’s not why he does it. He’s just very insecure about any noise that could come out of his mouth.

People always tell him how awkward he is and that he can barely hold a normal conversation (he has no idea how he landed people-person, charismatic Hob) so he’s certain he’d fail at dirty talk. And his laugh is so ugly, surely any moans or noises he makes during sex would be equally awful. And of course, his worst nightmare is getting caught up in the moment and letting an “I love you” slip FAR too early in the relationship than is acceptable. There is simply no way anything good could come from his mouth (ever, but especially during sex) so he deals with it by keeping his mouth occupied.

I can’t decide how Hob figures it out- if he puts all the pieces together during sex or foreplay, or if it somehow comes out during a more domestic moment. Either way, he insists on ravishing Dream with his mouth free and uncovered so he can hear every lovely sound he makes (and prove that he loves his silly boyfriend no matter what).

-🦇

We love the hurt/comfort smut here!!!! Hell yeah!!!!

I have a certain idea about how Hob finds out about Dream’s whole complicated relationship with his own vocality. It all comes out when Dream, quite suddenly loses his voice altogether. He gets a little bout of laryngitis during flu season, and while he's not super sick, he also can't speak. He's reduced to texting and writing little notes while Hob fusses over him and makes him plenty of nice cups of tea.

During his illness, Dream is visited by his sibling Desire. Hob has never met them before, but honestly he's more focused on Dream than anything else. He has a vague notion that the two siblings don't exactly get on, however, and this becomes apparent when Desire makes a series of quips about what a relief it is to have Dream silenced. If only he would be quiet all the time! He's so much more bearable when he's not making any noise.

Hob clocks Dream’s face during this series of bad jokes and all he sees is... resignation. He realises that Dream believes Desire's cruel words. Everything starts to make sense.

After the laryngitis passes and bedroom activities are back on the menu, Hob cautiously broaches the fact that he really doesn't want Dream to be gagged this time. He doesn't want him to muffle his face in the pillow, either. He'd quite like to have some very boring and tender missionary sex, and he'd like to hear Dream’s voice and his noises the whole time.

Unfortunately for Dream he's in love, and he can't deny Hob anything, let alone something so sweet and pure. He's sure that Hob will be disgusted by his noises, but he agrees anyway. Maybe Hob will forgive him for being so loud, if he behaves himself well in other ways...

In reality Hob is the one making the most noise because he absolutely sobs his way through the sex. Hearing his sweet Dream's pleasure for the first time is so overwhelming and almost spiritual, he can't help but cry. There's a long way to go, but Hob is determined: he's going to make sure that Dream is never silenced again. Hob wants to hear everything that comes from his beloved's mouth - especially if its an "I love you!"

[quibbs126]

And this here is today’s attempts at drawing Transformers, specifically TF One

I had this idea when I started today, since I knew the faces and noses were giving me trouble yesterday, to try this paintbrush style. The logic in my brain was that the movie was made in 3D, so logistically a more lineless style should work better, right?

I do admit, I think that the lineless style works far better in terms of the eyes and noses being the right shape, but I also admit my lines are probably a bit too soft and I may need to darken them. As well as get something good for the actual thin lines, since the paint brush on its own feels too thick, even at the lowest size

And you know what, since we’re here, does anyone have any Procreate brushes they can suggest for this sort of style? Right now I’m just using Flat Brush, but I wonder if I should use something else

Anyways, so this canvas was supposed to be more D-16, but partway through I figured I should try someone else to draw as well, so I decided Orion, so we could have the yaoi

Honestly my big problem with Pax here is that I don’t have a good comprehensive reference for him, while I can get by just fine with D-16. These were about the best I could get, and that last one I only got because these other two weren’t cutting it

I need high quality references of these characters, or at least specifically their faces. And I’m gonna need even more if I plan to draw Megatron and Optimus as well

But yeah, Orion’s here, and I was also having trouble getting the correct colors for him, because I’m stupid and used to flat colors. D was pretty easy considering he’s just greys, and a yellow tinted grey works just fine there as a grey (though I do admit I’m struggling with his eye color), but I feel like blue tinted Orion looks too blue by comparison. But I don’t know how to give him his proper face coloring without it being the same shade as D-16

I feel like my words aren’t making sense. But just get that Orion colors are a struggle. And still are, because I still don’t think that other grey is the right color

Also Orion has a significantly more complicated helmet than D, so that’s fun

I really wasn’t planning on Orion taking up so much of the space, but I needed to actually practice how he looked so that I could draw him easier. I had numerous attempts at D-16 prior, I could sort of understand his look, but I was flailing in the dark on Orion and needed the practice

I think another problem is that I don’t make him wide enough. But sue me, my character designs usually don’t have their bodies that wide/their heads that small. I’m working on it

I capped off this canvas by just deciding to make a small doodle of Orion kissing D, since why not and also I was too lazy to think of anything else to add

Where do we go from here? I have no clue, but hopefully it’ll go good

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

how about a driftloon!! they ‘could try to take children away’ but are just small little curious guys… i love them..

I too love drifloons and am happy to report that these little “Signposts for Wandering Spirits” (Platinum) would make fairly good pets. I think? Maybe? It’s complicated.

Size-wise, obviously, drifloons are perfect. Since these pokémon remain airborne at all times, they should be comfortable in any home. They do tend to prefer damp, humid environments (Diamond), but they don’t necessarily need these conditions to survive. If you live closer to the equator than not, then that’s bonus points for a happy and healthy drifloon.

Now, are these guys friendly? It’s really hard to say. Their reputation has been mixed up in folklore for years now, and cutting through to the truth can be difficult. What is objectively known is that these pokémon like to spend time around human children. It has often been reported that drifloons seek to “steal away” these kids, either physically or spiritually (Pearl), which would indicate some sort of malice behind their behavior. It’s even been said that any children who even grab onto them are liable to go missing (HeartGold/SoulSilver). More recent pokédex entries, however, seem to cast doubt on the validity to this folktale, emphasizing that these stories are merely whispered tales and postulating that these pokémon may merely be seeking to befriend and play with children (Ultra Moon, Sword). If you have children, you may want to keep an eye on them just in case, but there’s no definitive proof that this is something to be overly worried about. What we don’t have even a little information about, though, is how drifloons get around with adults. Since there’s not really any indication of antisocial behavior in the pokédex, I think it’s fair to assume that you would be able to get along with one well enough.

So why the B ranking? Drifloons, unfortunately, are pretty dangerous. While most of their moves would be inconvenient at best, two moves in particular — Self-Destruct and Explosion — are a bit of an issue. These explosive moves could easily be fatal, depending on how close you are to the drifloon when they use them. Thankfully, it seems unlikely that a drifloon would be quick to use these moves, even when upset, since it seems that they would cause them a lot of pain. According to the pokédex, “if for some reason its body bursts, its soul spills out with a screaming sound” (Moon). That sounds unpleasant at best. Nine times out of ten, as far as I can tell, you should be okay with these aloof, chill pokémon.

Before I close out, of course, I have to bring up the issue that comes up so often with ghost-type pokémon on this blog. According to the pokédex, drifloons are formed by the spirit is of both humans and pokémon (Diamond, Shield). Are these pokémon aware of this fact? Do they have memories of their past life? Is it okay to have a reincarnated human spirit as a pet? These are all big questions that I am not equipped to answer. When you adopt a ghost-type pokémon, you’re stepping into a mire of ethical mud, and you’re just gonna have to be okay with that.

Look, at the very least, if you’re an adult, there’s no way a single drifloon is strong enough to steal you away into the sky. Unless a bunch of them latch onto you like you’re the house from Up. In that case…good luck?

[randum-famdoms]

As someone with a much larger vocabulary than the average American (due to various factors, but personally I attribute this to the terrible American education system more than anything else), I’ve genuinely considered starting to screen record while I’m writing essays for college as proof that I’m not using ai to cheat, unless you count spell check as ai. Which I don’t, and any sane person wouldn’t either.

AI checkers are faulty at best and genuinely broken beyond comprehension at worst. I lean towards the worst side of the scale. There have been countless cases of these things just flat out not working, whether that’s through false positives or not catching actual ai use.

I think the worst or maybe just weirdest case I’ve seen was a situation where one of my friend’s classmates got flagged for ai use because they included a block quote that the checker decided was suspicious. A fucking quote. Ya know, the one thing in an essay that you don’t write yourself.

Insanity.

I hadn’t heard about this trend of ai checkers forcing people to dumb down their words leading to actual published works being dumbed down before. I mean, I knew about the results, but I’d assumed that it was caused by the general trend of the American populous getting “dumber”. By which I mean that each year there are statically more people graduating with lower reading levels/worse understanding of how things like science and math work. It’s not their fault, the American education system is deeply flawed and underfunded more and more every year and far too many parents let iPads raise children instead of actually parenting. And the iPad baby bit is making things even worse year by year as more and more content for kids (and adults) is ai generated. It’s much more complicated than that, but I’m not about to go into minutia over this in a tumblr post.

The general trend toward content (including published books) being dumbed down is caused by a lot of factors. Pressure from publishers and higher ups, ai, the general lower standards of pre-college education (and college too, but less so for now), being raised by the internet, the fact that the internet is so consumed by ai and it worsens every day, the list goes on.

Ai isn’t the only source for these problems, but the fact remains that it is simultaneously the method being used to enforce the trend and most of the other sources can trace back their roots to AI in some way or another.

And frankly we can’t do Jack shit about it. At least, we can’t do anything to stop ai. It’s far too late for that.

What we can do is try for now to make sure our own writing isn’t mislabeled as AI, not by dumbing it down but rather by providing proof that you were the one to write it. We can make sure that when we have kids they don’t get access to ai and that they are raised by a human, not by a computer. We can try to help schools get more funding. We can rate books that haven’t been dumbed down higher than ones than have, and maybe even message publishers to tell them that they are idiots if they think their readers want something written so boringly.

We can’t stop generative ai, but we can learn how to coexist with it.

[dumblilb]

I don’t wanna talk

Vi x Bartender!Reader

(Synopsis: Vi’s been having a hard time recently. You decide to give her a little relief.)

(Warnings: !SMUT MDNI!, lesbian sex, Sub!Vi, oral (both!r), thigh riding (vi!r), strap (vi!r), begging, mentions of alcohol, profanity, crying from overstim, a little angst but not really, kinda fluff)

(Requested: Yes)

(Word count: 2,823)

* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚★。*

As her newly dark hair falls over her eyes all she could think about was how angry she was. It hadn’t even quite hit her yet why. Maybe it was her bruised knuckles, and the way they made her hands look so ruff against your skin. Or the fact that the lights were blinding her eyes. But as she looked up at you over the bar counter, she knew she had one thing to be surely mad at. You were gonna probably gonna send her home.

She held your forearm with a small bit of pressure. Putting the drink you were making for your final customer of the night on pause.

“Please. I need a drink. Just one.” Vi pleads. She looks tired. Her shoulders are slightly slouched and her eyes look sullen. You can’t help but sigh. This is the third night this week you’ve denied her service. Normally you can’t help but place down another beer for a drunkerd. A few extra dollars in your pocket from some rando isn’t the worst thing in the world. But when it’s your friend that’s when it gets complicated.

“Vi, I’m off in a minute. Just let me finish making this and you can come with me back to mine. Okay?” You smile softly. Her grip on your arm loosens and she looks at you for a second, debating her answer. Did she really want you to take her home and put her to bed. Her eyes flicker to the softness in your eyes. And the way your chest moved delicately up and down while you breathed. Actually that doesn’t sound like a bad idea right now. Maybe she wasn’t that upset after all.

“Fine. Just-“ She breathes out heavy, hanging her head. “Don’t make me wait too long.” She lets up on your arm and walks over to the exit waiting for you. You can’t help but stare at her as you clean up and clock out. Her jacket is slung over her shoulder. The fabric molding to the sweat covered muscles of her back. Like an unruly child she scrapes her large leather boots across the floor back n forth. Almost in protest of you testing her level of patience.

You walk over to her and she gives you a slight tinge of a smile as she wraps her arm around your shoulders.

“You’re getting sweat on me.” You grimace. She just places a peck on your cheek with a stuck up grin.

“You love it.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to give you that impression.” You roll your eyes. But the undeniable smile covering your face gives her the courage she needs for the night.

The walk home was quick since you live not too far. Which vi was pleased about. The second you unlocked the door she pulled you into your own home, leading you to your room.

“What the hell are you doing.” You can’t help but laugh.

“Nothing I just wanna talk.” She says sitting down on your bed. Discarding her boots and jacket to the floor.

“Talk?” You question. You’re used to her flirting. She’s done it her whole life. She’s never really not been a charmer. But ever since she started doing those pit fights and coming to find you at the bar afterwards, it’s been a little intense. She started coming as a way to see you. She’d buy a drink. Chat you up. Get turned down. And she’d buy another. You could tell she was just sad and lonely. So you didn’t really give the idea of it the time of day. But as the drinking became more intense you got worried. She only seemed to become more upset the more times you sent her on her way. Beer in hand. You’d started to think you definitely fucked up. And she wasn’t joking around.

“Can’t remember the last time we talked about anything other than how bad you want me.” You tease, trying to keep the energy light. Maybe just this once. You’d try and see how this goes.

“You know I’ve had a really shitty day. Lost my match. And the only thing that’s made me feel better is the sight of you. You seem to have that effect on me recently.” She states as you sit down next to her. She leans to rest her head down softly on your shoulder. You don’t quite know how to react to what she’s just said. Her breath is hitting your skin sending a shiver down your back. You go to rest your hand to her cheek bringing her to face you, but she pulls back almost like a flinch. You ease her in closer.

“I don’t think I wanna talk right now.” You whisper, leaning in slightly to close the gap. She almost gasps at the contact but finds composure and melts into the kiss. All she could think about for weeks was how you would feel against her. If your lips were soft or if your eyelashes would flutter against her cheeks. But nothing could have prepared her for how heavenly you would feel.

The softness of your lips had her entranced as she pulled you in for more. Leaning into you making you fall back on your arms, deeper into your bed. She parts for a second, taking in your face. The way your eyes dart from hers to her lips. The way they your lips stay open slightly. Like they’re inviting her back in. You take the chance and kiss her again. Guiding her body up into a sitting position. Practically straddling your hips. You place a hand to her chest, feeling up to her neck. You could feel her heart racing under your touch. Deep breaths wracked her body as you fiddled with the wraps around her torso.

“Can I?” You question and she continues to kiss you, moving down your neck.

“Please.” She exhales and you start removing them. Much too slow for her taste. She’s antsy, nipping at your skin as you work. You finally get it off and take a second to admire her. She beautiful. Her skin is pale but it glimmers with sweat as she pants. You run your fingers over her chest, caressing her softly making her look at you nervously. What if you didn’t like them. What if-

“God you’re fucking perfect.” You exclaim quietly, placing soft kisses upon them. Her head falls back as you enclose on of them in your mouth. Putting your tongue to work, rolling over her nipple gently with your other hand.

Her hand grips your thigh tightly as a way to cope with the new sensation. She runs her other over your head till you pull back. She looks at you slightly confused till you begin removing your top, making her eyes go wide. The black bra still covering your chest doesn’t keep her from gawking. She slides off your lap for a second, hastily removing her own black jeans leaving her in just a pair of boxers in front of you. Her happy trail on display. Scooting forward you grab her hand placing it on your own pants. Giving her permission to remove them.

She bends down in front of you, sliding them over your hips and down your legs. Running her fingers up your thighs she starts to spread them apart, but you urge her back onto your lap.

“You said you had a bad day? Let me make you feel good.” You breathe into her ear, teasing her boxers off with your fingertips. Which she is now eagerly ripping off. Placing her, now noticeably wet, core down on one of your thighs. You grip her hips with a bit of force. Guiding them in a back in forth motion. She lets out a soft grunt as she slowly picks up the pace. Resting her head in the crook of your neck, she sloppily places small pecks to your collar bone. Her hands gripping your waist to keep steady.

Each motion she made caused a moan to leave her lips. They started quiet but as her legs became shaky you’d remind her how good she was doing. You rock your leg up into her, making the whining become louder. Her voice barely sounding legible between gasps, as she pleads with you.

“Fuck! I- I can’t…” She lets out, whipping her head back. You just smile at her softly. You roll over onto the bed, bringing her under you. Her hair falling back out of her face, leaving you with her wide eyed expression. She’s confused as to why you stopped her from finishing, till you get down on your knees beside the bed. Pulling her legs towards you and resting them on your shoulders. Her toned thighs clenched around you in anticipation as you leave little kisses to the area.

She’s starts to get needy, grinding her hips upward towards your lips when you grip her tightly. Looking up at her flushed face. Any makeup she was wearing earlier was fully smudged off and beads of sweat dripped down her abs as her deep breaths made each one flex just a little. It makes your brain spin a little as she looks at you with softness. Eyes pleading with you. Practically begging for relief.

“Please-“ She starts to say when you run your tongue through her folds. Her whole body melts into the bed. Each dip into her making her squirm as you work your way to her clit. Tonguing it with swift motion. Loud grunts leave her lips as she grips your head trying to push you in closer. She wants more. Which is fine. You have much more to give.

Coming up for air you slightly knock her hand out of the way. You begin holding her hips up with nothing but your own strength. Her legs fully over your shoulders. She tries to help by holding herself up with her forearms. But as you begin sucking on the sensitive area she gives up. An echoing moan leaves her as her core starts to tense up. Gripping your sheets tightly, she holds her eyes closed. Almost embarrassed to face you like this. Weak and to your will.

Her hips start to twitch. And before you could even prepare she’s a mess under you. Her release covering your mouth. She lays there panting for a minute while you gently set her down. Leaving wet kisses up her body, till you’re lying against her. Bringing her lips you yours, letting her taste herself. She holds you tight as if scared you would leave. Bitting slightly at your lips. Just enough to claim her stake. Her hand falls to your underwear line and she starts to inch closer to your core. You couldn’t help but peek to see the way her tattoos flowed with her muscles at each movement.

Moving your hips forward you allow her to start softly running her fingers through your folds. A small murmur of pleasure creeps out making her smile into the kiss. Applying light pressure she moves in circular motions, moving her kisses down your neck. Nipping at it slightly. The louder you get the faster she goes. The restriction of your panties upsets her so she takes a pause to slide them off and gets right back to it.

You place your hand on hers and guide it down to your entrance. She understands quickly and moves to be more on top of you. Holding one of your thighs down slightly with her leg. Holding herself up with one of her arms, her other glides its first finger into your core gently. She hesitates for a moment before you impatiently buck your hips, letting her know it’s okay to start moving.

She starts gingerly. Nervous almost. But as you whisper words of encouragement under your breath she starts to pick up the pace. Each thrust making you squirm under her. As her speed increases you bring one of your own hands down to massage your clit. The feeling of another finger entering makes a warmth start building in your stomach. Vi grunts as she continues. Her eyes not leaving you. The way your chest moves at her motions could make her drool. She starts to curl her fingers upward inside you and your pace becomes faster. But it’s sloppy, and a lack of composure becomes apparent.

“Fuck! Vi don’t stop… don’t fucking stop.” You say stern, even in your current state. Your legs start to shake under her and with a last pump the feeling in your stomach releases making your whole body tense against her. She slowly starts to remove her fingers, placing them in her mouth to lick them clean. Under heavy lids you look at her with a smirk. She liked the way you tasted. You could see it on her face. She was pussy drunk.

Sitting up you move to reach under the bed. Grabbing what you need from the box you kept there. She looks at you curious till you bring it into her view. The hot pink strap, now sitting on your lap, makes her eyes go wide.

“Do you want me too..” She starts but as you get up and start to tighten it around your hips, she understands. “Oh!”

“Is this okay?” You check walking towards her position at the edge of the bed. She nods her head rapidly making you chuckle a bit. Pink dusting over her cheeks as you stand between her legs. Cupping her face you rub your thumb across her tattoo, taking in the way she looks. Even in the dark her powder blue eyes sparkle. Her hair can’t help fall slightly in the way of her view. Which in this moment is not something she’s fond of. She wants to see you.

Leaning down, you delicately leave a kiss to her forehead. Grabbing her hand in the process. You pull her up to stand in front of you.

“Turn around.” You muse and she looks at you a little confused, following instructions anyways. The sight of her tattoo covering her back makes you take a deep breath. God she’s so fucking hot. You rub your hands down her back, tracing each line of ink. She shivers slightly under your touch reminding you of what you were doing in the first place. Bending her over, she places her knees and hands down onto the bed and braces herself. Climbing up to bring your pelvis to her ass, you position yourself.

Caressing her hips softly you question “ready?” And you see her nod.

Pushing the tip of the strap in slowly you let her get accustomed to the feeling. A audible moan leaves her and you place a kiss to her back. Finding yourself a rhythm you begin thrusting into her. Slow at first, not to scare her. But then she started begging for it.

“Please! Faster.” She groaned, spreading her legs a bit wider. Which allowed for you to go deeper. Your thighs hitting her ass making as slapping noise echo in the room. But it was hard to hear over the loud whines that escapes her mouth. She can’t help but curse your name as you apply some pressure to her back, making her arch deeper. Holding her hips tightly to secure the motion. Her arms give out and her torso becomes flesh with the sheets. Arms up above her head. She turns slightly back to look at you. Reaching under you start to rub her off while continuing to slam into her.

“Holy shit!” She exclaims trying to hide her face behind her arm, but you stop her.

“Pretty girl, I need you to look at me.” You smile and she moves her arm. Small tears gather in her eyes from the overstimulation on her pussy. You get concerned for a second but when her legs start to twitch a little she practically begs for you to go harder. It only takes a few more pumps before her legs give out and you can feel warmth covering your hand. Easing out of her, you pull out and remove the strap from your hips.

She lays there, body sprawled out across your bed. Her eyes are closed but she has a grin adorning her face. A slight flush on her skin apparent. Quickly placing a kiss to her shoulder, you get up to grab a damp towel. Coming back to sit next to her.

“Come here.” You bring her closer to begin wiping her down. Cleaning her off. She looks up at you with a grin. She puts a hand to your cheek, pulling your lips down to hers. The kiss is gentle and needy. She just wants to feel you. Resting her forehead to yours she sighs.

“You okay?” You question, caressing her arm softly.

“My day just got a whole lot better.”

[paperstorm]

Loved all your thoughts on Carlos this episode. Any thoughts on TK?

Sometimes I keep my thoughts on TK to myself a little more because he hits very close to home for me. But I will say that when you've been through the kind of things TK has been through, milestone birthdays can hit really weird because suddenly you're at an age that you always assumed you'd never live to see and it feels like being lost at sea a little bit. It's hard to plan for the future when you don't believe you're going to have one, so I bet TK spent a lot of time in his 20s thinking that conceptualizing himself in his 30s or 40s or 50s was pointless because he might not make it that far, the ideas of what kind of life he would want probably always a little fuzzy and a little too painful to even dwell on. I bet he woke up the morning of his birthday full of some complicated emotions. Gratitude and happiness but also maybe some sorrow for the time wasted or maybe for the things he could've accomplished by 30 if he wasn't too sick to dream of a happy ending for himself. But he also woke up next to his husband.

It's so genuinely beautiful to look back and see how far this character has come, to think that the pilot of this show opened with him trying to end his life over a man who he thought incorrectly was his soulmate, thinking he had nothing left worth living for, not knowing all the wonderful, amazing, beautiful things that were waiting just ahead for him, if he could just hang on long enough to catch them. TK spent a lot of his life thinking he doesn't really matter all that much, and look at him now. He's crafted a life for himself out of grit and bloody knuckles and relentless optimism, he has a career that lets him turn all that pain into saving people so they too can get their second chances, he has so many people who care about him and wanted to celebrate his birthday (and his wedding, and his engagement, and his sobriety), he has two parents fighting over who loves him more, he has a husband who thinks he hangs the moon and all the stars and wants to hold him close and dance with him in the home they've built together. He is completely surrounded by love. And like Wyatt was saying to that woman on the bridge, TK as a character is such a wonderful display of the fact that even the biggest bumps in the road don't have to be the end of our stories. If we're brave enough to keep fighting, they can be the beginnings of journeys we weren't expecting but might lead somewhere much better than where we were heading before.

[invinciblerodent]

While I'm on the topic of being hopelessly in my feelings about these characters, I just finished the last part of the Gloom Howler quest, and I'm thinking about Davrin and names at the moment.

I really, really love how, once we learn the truth about her, Davrin seems to make a point of always referring to Isseya by her name (mostly on its own, but sometimes in conjunction with calling her "The Gloom Howler" when necessary), and even correcting others who would refer to her only by the latter name. (Which, honestly, both Solas and the Inquisitor could also talk at length about a title that all but replaces your name- it definitely feels significant that Davrin would pointedly reject the thought of doing that to someone, but I digress.)

And that reminded me of how I previously made an idle, kind of shitposty little post about how nice I found that during his recruitment mission, Davrin calls out the specific names of each griffon if you interact with their cages, and he attempts to comfort them like that- by reminding them who they are, that he's there, and promising that he'll be back for them.

In retrospect, I think that's so interesting, how his core story seems to boil in part down to... well, in part to the burden of duty, the questioning of tradition and authority (he questions both Dalish- and Warden traditions from very early on, one by joining the Wardens and the other by joining Rook) and, yes, living past what one thought to be their purpose, but also... to these moments, that invite some contrasting of his elven-, and his Grey Warden identities.

Isseya being an elven Warden is a very direct parallel, and a very clear image- it, I think, is meant to show what happens when authority goes unquestioned, and one side (the Warden) triumphs over the other (the person). His uncle then acts as a counterpoint and a thread of connection to the past- he shows what happens when tradition goes unquestioned, and while peaceful, how that existence is not one Davrin wishes for himself.

This all comes to a head in the final choice concerning the griffons... which, I can't say what a "correct" choice is, but I find it really cool how one option embraces a more rigid tradition and acts as a vow for reforms within them, honoring them, while the other embraces a different tradition, one born of fluidity, choice, and change- a more personal freedom.

Purpose and nature, respect for the past and hope for the future, all strain against each other sometimes (in multiple companions' stories, I feel), and it's often a name that represents the complicated harmony between two halves.

Be that Assan, noble descendant of a hero Warden's griffon wearing an Elvish name, Isseya, the monster and mage brought to peace, the idea of "turlum", harmony and understanding forged between vastly different minds, or just... Davrin, the Dalish Grey Warden, who is not more one than the other.

Maybe that's why calling people (and animals, and feelings) by their proper names seems so casually important to him. Because if you give something complex, messy, and muddled up a name, it's easier to just live it.

(.......... and yeah, that makes it a bit ironic how so far he's been calling Rook, "Rook", but, yknow, technological limitations. I've a feeling I've at least one important scene to go still, but honestly, the name "Rook" does also kind of represent a similarly complex matrix of ideas condensed into a person. It could be that "Rook" feels more accurate than any "friend", or "love", or "boss", or even "vhenan", for what they are to him, or it could be that he's still looking for the right name, but either way, I'm looking forward to seeing how it all ends.)

[sheepwavehdg]

HDG(?) story thoughts: Socialization

Socialization is a noncon fic by ashinbloom and transfemtomgirl that examines the horrifying ways trans women are treated in queer spaces, especially by men, through the lens of the HDG setting and its mechanics.

I would describe it as "HDG(?)". It is notable as one of very few fics that the Loret team has ever specifically described as not fitting the HDG setting, and I can't even really say I disagree, exactly? It's fucking complicated. I dont enjoy Socialization in the same way I enjoy most HDG stores. I read it and I feel seen and understood in my experiences, it is a commiseration of the lived experience of a disabled person having to deal with violent transmisogny from within her own community as well as outside. I will be blunt- this story is not what I think of when I think of HDG. it is a twisted knife in my gut, a reminder of some of the worst things that have ever happened to me, and i cannot stop thinking about it.

It makes me feel less alone, to know that the ways I was mistreated and abused by some transmasculine peers in the past was not something I made up, that I am not alone(especially since gaslighting was always part of the toolkit anyway!) In this way, it shares commonalities with the rest of the HDG tag, in that the pain it reflects feels very, very familiar to me.

the premise is simple. It is a second person fic, which is a frankly brilliant choice, about a transfemme reader navigating a wardship. her transmasculine friend, who is already a floret, manipulates her into his bed and the vines of the affini.

It is notable that this summary, plotwise, is not any different from many existing stories within HDG. where it diverges is the tone. Victor is like if someone took every guy who I didnt break up with months past when I should have and combined them into a figure almost as systemically enabled to take advantage of you as his real life counterparts are. the worst part of all is the screaming voice in the back of my head that I can fix him. it is a spectacle to behold, and I eagerly await the protaganist to fall into his clutches.

The affini in the story are used more as a backdrop to tell a story about how humans are shitty to each other. I think It is meaningful more as a story about the transfeminine experience than as a story about plommy, and you should go into it expecting for it to hurt you, and for that pain to be a cathartic experience of being seen.

The best/worst part of reading Socialization is knowing I would do the exact same thing in the protaganist 's shoes. I would believe I could fix him. Watching someone with every one of my own weaknesses be pulled apart by a predator I have known intimately far too many times is arousing in ways that horrify me. I hate how much I love this story. I hate how I find myself rooting for Victor to pull the reader apart more, because if he wins, maybe she can be happy. It's incredible, I cannot wait for more, because I am apparently a deep masochist.

[rist-ix]

This might be weird but bare with me: i saw some fanart of valtor and his mamma bears (I'm sorry), he was freshly made and a child still for some reason (idk if it's canon at this point that he was made in adult form or not buuuut) and so it's shown how they don't like him but at the next panel he wants their makeup so tharma and lysliss give him a makeover and at the end belladonna says i think we'll find a use for that pretty face. What i started thinking was if it's possible they used him as a pr0stitute at some point besides all the torture they put him through. My brain today is fixated on how much trauma or ptsd he could possibly have. Now that i write it i sense how weird this is but what do you think?

My friend my dude my brother in fandom, I am but a humble bacteria and u have given me the juiciest slimiest tastiest agar plate imaginable. Let’s get INTO THIS!

(For the record, this is purely fanon. I think I’ve alluded to this headcanon of mine in fics but I am well aware that I have little to no evidence from canon for these assumptions.)

ABSOLUTELY I think that Valtor was used for getting into royal's beds. Though I do think it would have been more complicated than simply “his moms are whoring him out cause they hate him and they want stuff from people” — and I think there are some FASCINATING implications that has for both Valtor's personality as a whole, and his relationship to sexuality and his own body.

First of all, the reason why I think you are correct is simple: he seems to be universally regarded as attractive in-universe, to the point of having even the Trix fawning over him, and he is consistently seen using charm and flattery to get others to do what he wants. If you wanted to expand on this in a darker and more mature setting, the logical conclusion would be that he'd use his body the same way. And I do think he would do that entirely of his own will by the way, no coercion necessary! Though there most certainly was coercion.

That ties a little bit into my view on the Ancient Coven's relationship to each other in general. While we do see Valtor and the Ancestresses at odds with each other in the finale (culminating in the Witches ‘disinheriting’ him and reverting him to his monster form), the fact that they seem to have worked successfully together for AT LEAST a good few decades implies they could be cordial when necessary. Plus, Valtor somewhat wistfully recalls working under them with Griffin, smirking and content in the flashback, makes me personally believe they were genuinely GOOD at cooperating too, instead of the Witches relying solely on tyranny. Don’t get me wrong: there is no way they were a happy family. I'm thinking more along the lines of them playacting as a very harmonious coven, doting creators and loyal creation, like a game that every one of them is in on — a performance, just for funsies, and because none of them want the outside world to see them as anything but perfectly aligned and ruthlessly efficient. All that while also having a sort of spiteful, vengeful arms race going on internally, with Valtor not-so-secretly trying to find ways to overthrow them, and them waiting for him to lean out of cover too far so they can gleefully, brutally remind him who's in charge.

There's a deep, deep, deeply rooted resentment Valtor seems to have for them, but they are also objectively the same: They both want power, they both want to control the Dimension, they both would do anything to accomplish that goal. So if there was a situation in which having someone charming on the inside would help them, I think both Valtor and the Witches would come to the conclusion that Valtor could do whatever necessary to accomplish that. Be it charm someone, poison someone, or sleep with someone in the hopes they might spill some secrets. I consider all four of them to be pretty pragmatic, I don’t think there would be any conflict or hesitation here — not at first.

Because while Valtor would certainly agree that that’s the best approach, and probably be more than willing to get out of their sight for a while and live it up in some palace or another, I do think it would chafe at him eventually. Whether he's using his body to fight people or seduce them is not all that different, both happens at their behest. He's always painfully aware that he is their tool — but I imagine it does get more pronounced with the latter. Especially over time. Your taste in people or attraction does not matter in combat, but certainly plays a role in sex. While Valtor certainly seems to enjoy putting on a show in combat, that is a power play, whereas having to play a long con, with himself so heavily involved no less, can start to feel humiliating, tiring, more like a loss of agency than a game of wits. I don’t think it’s the seduction itself that would bother him, but the clear knowledge that he's just following his creator's plans here, puppeteered even in this aspect of his life.

The result of that in the present day of the s3 era wouldn’t be sexual trauma per se, I would headcanon. Not in the ptsd sense at least. (Though I bet a good fic could convince me otherwise :D) I remain a firm believer that his trauma is purely about his lack of control over his physical form, and a revulsion towards his original body that borders on dysphoria. The sexual aspect of his utility to them would ADD to that, don’t get me wrong, but it wouldn’t be the main source.

It DOES influence him though.

I'm thinking mainly about Valtor's interactions with the Trix here. On multiple occasions he secretly witnesses how they argue or straight up brawl over who gets to have him. None of them even thinks about who he might have shown the most interest in, they treat this solely as a contest of strength, winner takes all. (I don’t think that’s them being rapey btw just to be clear. I see it speaks more to them being juvenile and deeply unserious about romantic relationships, like dogs chasing cars. They don’t care enough about people beyond the three of them to have any actual experience with romance: Darcy's fling with Riven was discarded INSTANTLY once the three had something better to entertain them — like world domination. If one of them had “won” only to get ignored or rejected, the other two would have laughed her out of the room and then they would have done it all over again the next day.) im getting distracted. What I meant to get to is that Valtor sees them acting like he's a prize to be won… and he does not react at all. The first time he finds it mildly entertaining, the next few times the bit seems to get old for him already. That’s it. He encourages their possessiveness of course! He clearly enjoys being feared, admired, or simply the center of attention, but being treated without regard for his own desires doesn’t really register as an insult to him. AND he's shown to be pretty unperturbed with Darcy getting into his space, and flirting rather aggressively with him.

And while that may seem anticlimactic after all that, I find that FASCINATING. (Not just because Winx Club consistently writes men — powerful men! — the way female characters would be treated in another show. An essay of its own!) A non-reaction is still a reaction, and Valtor's lack of irritation says a lot in my opinion. I think he has little to no real boundaries, at least outside of combat or with people that are allies/useful to him. By that I don’t mean he would reject someone's advances if he didn’t welcome them, but that he wouldn’t really remember that this is a point where people usually DECIDE whether they welcome the advances or not, u know what I mean? I think his entire sense of self is pretty nebulous to himself, and that his own body seems to him more like a commodity than, well, him. Which makes sense, doesn’t it? He is created as one thing, for one purpose, and then given another body, for another purpose. He prefers to be human, reviles the monstrous form, but has no control over which one he is at any given moment — the people who do could change their minds on a whim. It would make sense for him to feel somewhat alienated from his physical form, and therefore have little care for what happens to it. It would take him far longer to know his own reactions, and to realize whether he enjoys something or not.

I feel like I’ve only managed to put like, half of what's in my head into words here. The dysphoria thing alone feels like something that should be dissected on its own, but I’m dead tired and this post is already pretty long. I will say that I’m not 100% consistent in this headcanon, and depending on the fic I use some of this and some of that, but I do think it’s one of my most favorite reads on Valtor as a character. Thank you so much for this ask!!! I hope the answer is close to what you hoped for lol

[meyerlansky]

the thing is, right, is i would by ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE prefer to talk something out with a mutual, especially if i've exchanged direct messages with them or we've moved onto other platforms to talk. once i've exchanged direct messages with someone, i consider them a friend, even if just within the fandom we share. and i would so much rather someone say to me "hey x thing made me uncomfortable" so i can hear that, respond to it, and change and improve my communication, because i really value the friends i make in fandom spaces!

but that's not what's been happening for the last year. what's been happening for the last year is, i reblog or make a post saying "jewish people in my country are scared and i stand with them," or "don't perpetuate blood libel," or "if you wouldn't call a video of an arab or muslim person being attacked 'entertaining' why would you say that about a video of an israeli or jewish person being attacked?"—and i lose followers. every single time.

for the record: i've never once said i don't support palestinian self determination. i've never once said that i think what the state of israel is doing is right or just or moral. i've never once said the violence palestinians are suffering is okay, and in fact have said multiple times that i don't think anyone deserves to suffer the way people involved in this conflict are suffering. what i HAVE said is i support jewish self determination too, and there's a lot of history people don't know or ignore, and the issue is far more complicated than ANY of the mainstream discourse around it actually delves into. and for the last year, any statement of support for jewish people—not israel the state, not israel's government, just PEOPLE WHO ARE JEWISH WHEREVER THEY ARE—does in fact lose me friends. HAS lost me friends. will probably CONTINUE to lose me friends, because for all that i'm willing to talk about this stuff, it doesn't seem like anyone else is.

i don't really know what else to do at this point. i consider myself, to some degree, part of the jewish community—i work for a jewish history organization, part of my family is jewish, many of my friends that i CONSIDER family are jewish, for years on and off i've been considering converting but if i don't take that step [mostly because i don't believe in a higher power of ANY kind] i still consider myself an ally. and i think it's telling that the only anon hate i've ever gotten on this website is someone calling me a zionist cunt TEN YEARS AGO, because i reblogged posts about jewish issues back then too.

again, i'd really rather talk this shit out. and not just this; other stuff too! ESPECIALLY other stuff, because there's nothing as loaded as this topic right now, and that means fandom shit is a goddamn cakewalk. but i'm also not abandoning my jewish friends and family just because the going's getting tough. so. there's that.

[smallishzine]

hey guys thank you for the lovely responses to the interest form, I appreciate everyone calling me handsome and amazing and tall, and also to everyone calling me an idiot you’re in fact correct but guess what you’re the one filling out the form and I’m the one who made it so shut up shut up hahahaha. Sorry. I don’t mean that, please don’t shut up I’ll be very sad if everyone shuts up and I’ll have no one to talk to. This post is to address some of the things that you pointed out as us having forgotten, and we preemptively apologize for burying important info in this mess. It’s like a scavenger hunt! Or bureaucracy. Take your pick.

how humble we are (true, true. So humble. The humblest.)

smallishbeans (I’m fairly certain we remembered this one)

an ego check (yup, still there)

Eefo (you’re so right it’s a crime that we’ve forgotten him we will rectify this mistake immediately)

many variations of “timeline?” which we answered in this post

that you, the form fillers, are tall and handsome as well (indeed)

that one of you was watching shrek 2 as they filled out the form (good job. We approve. Not that you should care what random people on the internet think of your taste in movies, but 👍)

more smallishbeans (it’s like they knew)

how much one of you loves ldshadowlady, sparkle heart emoji (true and real. Only correct take. We also love ldshadowlady)

chicken murder (we decided to put the chicken murder before the form rather than in it, so as not to distract from your form filling experience. We apologize if this isn’t what you wanted, we will be sure to include more chicken murder in future forms.)

A spot for obvious professionals in form filling to rate the form, so they had to do it in the what did we forget box. we received the following ratings: 5/10, 10/10 (< a genuine thank you to whoever submitted this one), 0/10 (:(), 7.3/15, 6/20, and several more

multiple variations of “age limit?” Which we answered in this post

Jeremys blessing (which we actually didn’t forget you stupid idiot haha I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me I promise you are not a stupid idiot even if you don’t finish reading forms before submitting)

that one of you likes shrek but is cooler than us so really the form is egregiously incorrect (egregious is a bit harsh. More, stupendously incorrect! Or, fantastically incorrect! Also, if you’re so cool, why don’t you prove it by participating in the zine huh? Huh? Thought so. 😎)

That I am cool, and I haven’t forgotten but you wanted to remind me (I am mod Dinn and I approve this message)

our epic arson related plan of action for when the ship burns (I’m afraid I have some bad news for you…)

“Can I join??” (yes)

hey it’s you dailyboatboys let you in let you in let you in (absolutely)

other words of affirmation that we greatly appreciate. Everyone who called me cool, handsome, amazing, and other good things or who complimented the form or who expressed excitement and interest in the zine hold a special place in my heart. I read through every response so far and to every person who said that I was really cool, or that they were super excited for the zine, or that the interest form was really good, or that they were so down participate, thank you. Now enough with being sappy back to answering questions, lightly worded hate mail, and people who are also obsessed with Joel smallishbeans!

you’re all idiots (due to limited funds we cannot afford to purchase our own suggestion box, so we are currently borrowing the permit office’s. Did you hear that sound that sounds exactly like sizzling lava consuming a piece of paper with your eloquently worded submission on it? That’s the sound of our complaints department hard at work to remedy this issue. Thank you for filling out the form!)

can you write ships? (This is a really complicated question which we have a lot to say on so we’ll make a separate post explaining more in depth, but the gist is: yes, but that yes has an asterisk attached with a footnote a mile long)

a spot for ideas about what pieces you may contribute, which is actually a good point we’ll probably poll about what things people most want to see/art pieceify (writing is art too) at some point. As for your admission of obsession, gender-neutral-dude, what do you think we are?

these are just some of the responses we received, thank you to everyone who has filled the form out so far, and you haven’t, what are you doing here go fill out that form!!

-mod Dinn