#i think that i would also circle words/letters on texts to slowly create the answers to my hw

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

I need to take better notes when writing my campaign

Wtf does "the fire was a distraction" mean bbg what the fuck are you talking about,

A distraction to what 😭

[boowanie]

Pairing: Ceo!Wonwoo x Secretary!reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff-ish

Warning: Suggestive

W/C: 2k+

Summary: Falling in love with your boss was never on your agenda, or so you thought.

Eri’s note: I’ve been dying to write a ceo!wonwoo scenario and here she is!! aaah, i hope you beans enjoy this! I think this is my favourite of mine so far 💘

The cold rain seeped into your clothes as you padded your way back to your empty apartment. You were absolutely exhausted. Words were not enough to explain how tired you were of your boss but being broke left you with no choice but to stick around as Wonwoo’s secretary.

When you first met him, you couldn’t deny that he made your heart skip a beat with how beautiful he was. However, as soon as he opened his mouth, the image you momentarily created in your mind was shattered. He was always working you harder than your other co-workers even when the tasks weren’t even your responsibility.

You finally caught sight of your apartment building and a small sigh of relief left your lips. You were definitely drenched when you reached your apartment door, shivering as you opened your door. On a normal day, you would have slipped your shoes off at the front door but tonight was different. You went straight to the bathroom, leaving wet footsteps and drops of water along the way. The warmth of the water coming out of your shower fogged up your small bathroom as you finally discarded the wet clothes you were in.

Once you stepped into the shower, your thoughts led you back to the events that happened before you walked home.

—

Wonwoo was yelling at one of his employees yet again. You could hear him demanding for the work that he tasked her to do. You flinched as your co-worker finally snapped, yelling at him with the same tone.

“You know what, I fucking quit Jeon Wonwoo. Fuck you and fuck your stupid company! I’d rather be jobless than stay here for another day. I don’t know how y/n has managed to stay by your side for the past 5 years.”

You and the other employees turned towards the door as soon as she stepped out, visible tears tumbling down her cheeks. Some of your co-workers stood up to comfort her while some avoided her incase Wonwoo saw. You, on the other hand, were called into his office. You sighed, picking up the files he wanted you to sort out during lunch.

“Close the door,” he murmured as soon as you stepped into his office. You did as you were told and walked slowly to his table where he was leaning back against his chair with his eyes tightly shut. You carefully placed the files on his desk, not wanting to disturb your boss’ silence.

“Can you stay for awhile?” he whispered, eyes opening to stare at you. You blinked back, your eyes softening at the sight of him and the dark circles that were visible under his eyes. You nodded as you took the spare seat and pulling it over to Wonwoo’s side.

“What do you need help with, Mr. Jeon?”

“Just need you here to calm me down.” He stated, catching his lower lip between his teeth.

—

When you turned the shower off, you came to a conclusion that Jeon Wonwoo liked to confuse you. He confused you with his actions. Despite the fact that he gave you more work than anybody else in the company, he also cared about you. Wonwoo didn’t mind when you handed files to him late nor did he care whenever he saw you nodding off at your desk. Your co-workers noticed how more lenient he was on you but they never made a comment because they saw how much work Wonwoo gave you on a daily basis.

You finally sat down on your sofa, ordering some food to eat to reward yourself after Wonwoo made you stay behind again to help him with some documents he was reviewing. You remember trying to stiffle numerous yawns as you worked through some documents and you could feel the frustration building up within him.

“You know what, just go home y/n. It’s clear to me that you’d rather be sleeping,” he said, plopping the loose papers on his desk before turning towards you. Your eyes widened at the sharp gaze he threw at you and you felt your heart momentarily clench.

“Won-, Mr. Jeon, it’s past midnight. I think we both need to rest,” you stared back, watching as he ran his fingers through his hair. He leaned back against his chair, watching you with blank eyes.

“Just go.” He turned his body away from you, leaving you staring at his back that was now hunched over his wooden desk.

“Fine.”

—

Once your food delivery arrived, you took your spot on your sofa again, watching reruns of your favourite show. You sighed as your mind began wandering back to Wonwoo.

“Fuck this,” you grabbed your phone, dialing the man that was occupying your mind.

On the third ring, he finally picked up. You could hear some shuffling in the background as you asked if he had gone home. You waited for his answer as silence consumed you both.

“Can I come over?” he whispered, hearing sniffles coming from his end. Your heart clenched at the sadness evident in his voice.

“I-i’ll leave the door unlocked,” you whispered back.

—

Again, Jeon Wonwoo confused you as he began to nip at the soft skin of your neck. Your hands ran through his hair, tugging his locks softly as he continued to pepper your neck with wet kisses, sighing as he left a subtle bruise on your collarbone.

“Talk to me sweetheart,” he groaned against your neck. You moaned when he slid the straps of your bra down your shoulders, loving his gentle touches that burned agaisnt your skin. However, as he continued to leave kisses on your skin, your mind wandered back to everything that happened that day. You pulled away just before he could undo the clasp of your bra.

“W-what are we doing Wonwoo,” you breathed out, pushing his body away from you. He sighed, leaning back on your headboard. You avoided his gaze and stared at your legs that were situated on either side of his thighs.

“Don’t you like what we have y/n?” he asked, pulling your chin up with his hand.

“What exactly do you call this Wonwoo? I’m your secretary for crying out loud,” you replied with frustration.

“We can’t keep doing this. I-i can’t keep pretending like i’m not inlove with you while we’re at work,” you cried, tears sliding down your cheeks as you lightly thumped your hands against his bare chest.

“Baby,” he mumbled, taking your shivering figure into his embrace. You cried against the skin of his shoulder while he rubbed his hand on your back.

“I-i think I should quit Wonwoo,” you sniffled.

“If I stay in your company any longer, I’ll just end up breaking my own heart,” you decided, removing your self from his embrace. You wiped your tears with the back of your hands while getting off his lap.

“I think you should leave now Wonwoo, I’ll hand in my resignation letter later on.”

—

You arrived at the company early in the morning, your hands carrying folded boxes to put your things in. You heard soft mutters when you began to clear your belongings that were neatly organised on your desk.

Once you finished, you made your way towards Wonwoo’s office, gently knocking on his door to bid him your final goodbye.

“Come in.”

He looked up, pushing his metal glasses up when he saw you standing by the door. You took a deep breath before walking towards his desk, your resignation letter in hand. You placed it beside his arm before looking up at Wonwoo again.

“Thank you for the past 5 years, Mr. Jeon,” you bowed. He didn’t say anything and began working on the files that he was holding not too long ago.

“Bye Wonwoo,” you whispered, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall.

—

Four months passed by before you finally got a job at a photography studio. Before becoming Wonwoo’s secretary, you were an aspiring photographer that only studied business to please your parents. You were beyond happy when Mingyu, your boss, called you to offer you the job you applied for.

The first month and a half was hectic, shooting for different companies and artists was something you never imagined to be doing in your life time.

“Y/n, I need you to come with me to a really important photoshoot,” Mingyu chucked a popcorn at your direction. You swatted another incoming popcorn as you tried to place your camera down.

“Sure, who are we shooting for tomorrow?”

“My bestfriend and his family,” he smiled.

“Time?”

“10 in the morning,” he replied, munching on another popcorn.

“I’ll see you then,” you waved goodbye at your boss turned close friend.

—

You couldn’t believe your eyes when you entered the venue. Mingyu texted you that he would be arriving in less than 10 minutes. Your eyes landed on Wonwoo who was staring at you, shock evident on his face. You were shooting for The Jeons. Well shit, you thought. Wonwoo’s mother greeted you, leading you to a small section of the room where she told you you could place your belongings.

You thanked her, grabbing your phone to dial Kim Mingyu.

“Where the heck are you?” you panicked, looking around the room.

“Right behind you, you dumbass,” Mingyu chuckled, bumping your head with his camera bag. You glared at him as he continued to chuckle at you.

—

Throughout the whole photoshoot, your eyes tried to avoid meeting Wonwoo’s. Mingyu noticed the subtle glances that two of his friends were giving. He couldn’t help but shake his head when he finally took the last shot.

“We can call it a day, Mr and Mrs Jeon,” he politely said to Wonwoo’s parents. They both thanked you and Mingyu for your hard work while Wonwoo’s brother waved at you both with a smile before leaving with his parents. Wonwoo, on the other hand, decided to stay. You couldn’t deny how fast your heart was beating throughout the entire photoshoot.

“Thank you Mingyu and y/n,” he patted Mingyu’s back and gave you a small smile. You sligtly bowed at his direction before busying yourself with packing up. Mingyu and Wonwoo began to talk about something you didn’t understand while you tried to place your camera back into your bag.

“Hey y/n, do you need a ride back to your apartment?” Mingyu asked as you finally gathered all your belongings. You shook your head “no”, leaving both of them in the room.

“See you tomorrow, boss.”

—

It was around midnight when you heard a knock on your door. You were clad in nothing but a loose t-shirt that you were certain was Wonwoo’s and cotton shorts. You padded your way towards your door, looking through the peephole to find Wonwoo standing behind the door wearing grey sweatpants and a loose hoodie.

You opened the door, confused as to why Wonwoo showed up at your door after months of him not being here. He spoke gently, asking if he could come in to talk to you.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, sitting back down on your sofa. He followed suite, keeping a small distance between you two. He shrugged, looking at his hands. Silence consumed you both while you stared at your midnight snack that was abandoned on the coffee table.

“Again Wonwoo, what are you doing here?” you asked firmly.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you so much, sweetheart,” he sobbed into his palms. Your heart clenched at his words, reaching out to pull him into your chest.

“I’m so sorry baby. When you said that you were going to leave, I thought it was for the best. I didn’t want to break your heart any further but I realised how stupid I was. How much of a coward I was being when I continued to lead you on for years,” he breathed against your neck.

“I’m so inlove you y/n y/l/n, and I was wonderinrg if you could still forgive me and ask for another chance?” he peered up at you through his tears. You wiped them gently while he wiped your own tears that were falling down your cheeks.

“Why’d you only come back for me now?” you whispered.

“I wanted to give you the space you deserved. I-i knew you were working for Mingyu two months ago when he mentioned your name during a conversation,” he stated. He pulled away from your hug, grabbing your waist to pull you on top of his lap. You straddled him, leaning the side of your head against his chest.

“Are you willing to take me back y/n?”

“Just make sure to ask me to be yours this time around, Jeon Wonwoo.”

He grinned at your words, “I love you so much.”

[dancingazaleas]

jeankasa | guidance

yeah i gave them a header what abt it⁉️

this ship is gonna be coming up a lot on this page because i have immense love for this pair

also, i would just like to make it clear that i do know eremika is canon. i don’t ship it personally. pls don’t attack me

warnings/notes: modern au!, blind!mikasa, cursing, mentions of bullying, mentions of insecurity, hints of depression, shit ending

if someone had ever told mikasa that she’d lose her sight at the age of 19, she would’ve brushed it off.

but now here she was at 19, service dog attached to her hip as she navigated through the streets. her clumber spaniel dog, who she named vanilla, turned her to the left, trying to lead mikasa to the her favorite coffee shop. when she felt a small wave of air and heard the sound of vanilla’s nails clinking on metal, she knew that she was at her desired location.

with caution, she walks inside the shop and turns her head to the side to figure out where she was from muscle memory. before she could contemplate, vanilla lead her through the webs of the tables and to the counter to order. she put out her left hand, trying to feel for the edge of the counter so she could hear the cashier.

she felt at ease when she felt the cold metal on her fingertips, inching her feet forward to let them bump into the counter as well.

“hello,” mikasa said to the cashier, praying that there was one actually there, “i’m blind, so i apologize if i seem to be difficult.”

“it’s alright!” the cheery cashier said back, “let me know if you need help with the menu.”

mikasa thanks her and orders herself a vanilla bean frappe, even though she thinks it’s basic; she quite enjoys it. vanilla leads mikasa to a table and she cautiously sits down in her seat in fear of that there might not actually be one there.

“oh, did you need something,” she heard a baritone voice ask her when she plopped her butt in the seat.

“oh! i didn’t know there was anyone sitting here. i’m blind and vanilla led me to this seat,” she explains, getting ready to get up to find another seat.

“y-you don’t have to leave..!” he suddenly shouts, startling mikasa, “i mean... you don’t have to leave, you can sit here. i’m jean kirstein.”

mikasa’s face heats up as she sits back down, “i’m mikasa ackerman.”

“i’m going to grab your hand to shake it, is that alright,” jean asks and he smiles at mikasa’s nod.

when jean touches mikasa, she feels a jolt of electricity run down her spine that makes her shiver.

his skin is rough against his own and her hand is small in comparison. her hand is encased in warmth while his is encased in cold.

jean’s face was a cherry red as he stares at mikasa. she’s honestly gorgeous, black lipstick on her plump lips with a small blush running across her cheeks. her hair ebony and was a tiny mullet, bangs spread across her forehead.

her hand accidentally came into contact with his sketch paper, and she quickly yanks her hand back towards her in fear.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to touch that.”

“don’t worry, it’s just my sketch pad. i’m an art student at trost university,” he waved his hand, despite her lack of sight.

“my brother and our friend go to trost. our friend, armin, is a marine biologist students. he’s really sweet. my brother’s name is eren, he’s studying criminology,” mikasa gives a sad smile and jean knows it’s because she wants to go to trost too.

“oh i know them. i don’t... exactly get along with your brother a lot,” it manages to make mikasa crack a real smile.

“i’m not exactly surprised, he’s a very brash person,” he watches her hands lean down to pet vanilla.

before he’s able to get a word in, her name is being called for her to get her drink. her eyebrows furrow from frustration, she doesn’t know where to go.

“i’ll get it for you,” jean’s already getting out of his chair, walking over to the counter with her drink on it.

she thanks him when he guides her hand to hold it.

“so,” jean doesn’t know what to say, “shouldn’t you be getting back to... your house?”

“i should, but i don’t want to. i don’t get to go out alone much,” he nods at her.

“i’m sorry if this is rude, but were you always... blind,” jean asks slowly, gesturing his large hands in a circle.

“no, i haven’t. i started losing my vision around my 13th birthday. it was gradual and by the time i was 16 i could barely see anything, now i can’t see at all,” mikasa seems sad as she explains her situation, dejectedly sipping out of her straw.

“i’m so sorry, i couldn’t imagine going through that. you’re strong for enduring that,” jean puts his hand on top of her’s, flinching at mikasa’s flinching.

“i don’t feel strong,” she frowns, “i’m always being coddled and i can only talk about it with armin and vanilla, even if she’s a dog. you barely even know me and i’m dumping my baggage onto you.”

jean’s face flushes at the realization, “no, no, no! don’t worry, i-i asked! if anything, i should apologize for asking so much.”

mikasa shakes her head, earrings clinking as they dangle down.

“it’s alright, i haven’t gotten to talk to many people like this is a while. what’s your number,” she’s taking out a phone with a light purple phone case.

he doesn’t know how she uses it, but he’s not going to ask. he takes and when his thumb presses against the contact app, he jumps at the robotic female voice telling him ‘contacts’. guess he got his question answered.

he types in his number, trying to get used to the robot calling out each letter and number as he types.

he never thought he could learn so much in such little time.

————

jean never thought that him and mikasa would become friends. if he were being honest, he thought that mikasa wouldn’t text him after he gave her his number. he’s not that interesting in his opinion.

but luckily, she did. and now, a couple of months later, he’s guiding her hands to paint on a canvas in front of her. she’s anxious and hesitant as jean helps her swipe the paintbrush across the canvas.

“relax your body, i’ve got you. the picture will look weird if you’re too stiff,” he rubs his thumbs in circles over her wrists.

she takes a deep breath and jean can feel most of the tension leaving her body. he guides her hand to paint a large stripe in the color of a peach, hands warm against her cold skin.

“paint what feels right, let your body move on its own,” his hands slowly leave her wrists, and he watches as she runs the brush across the canvas with relaxation.

back and forth her brush runs, lips parted in slight relaxation and concentration. her face has splotches of lavender and bubblegum pink on it, and her hands are covered in a maya blue mixed with the purples and pinks.

jean can’t help but feel himself swoon at the sight, milky grey eyes darting around the canvas aimlessly and her reluctant free hand feeling for the edge of the canvas to let her know how far away she is. she’s in a loose white button up where the sleeve are cut at her elbows. her vancouver blue skirt ends at her scraped knees and her feet are bare, making her toes curl around the stretcher of the stool she’s sitting in.

“i think i’m finished,” she says as her fingers loosely hold the paintbrush in her hand.

jean looks at the painting and he feels a sense of pride in his gut at the sight. despite how much he guided her hands, she still managed to create a masterpiece all on her own.

the painting is messy, but jean loves it nonetheless. the painting is of a mix of pink peonies arranged in a vase with hydrangeas and himilayan blue poppies, peach ranunculus flowers with their petals spread in blossoming. there’s a dash and a mix of different colors in each flower that makes it feel completed and some of the colors dash out of the lines of the flowers and mixed into the honey brown background.

it’s messy and choppy, and if mikasa were an art student, she’d get a 68% on this painting. but in jean’s eyes, she’s scored a 100%.

“it’s beautiful,” he smiles, taking the paintbrush out of her hands and onto the cart of paint supplies next to the easel.

he grabs a thin brush and dips it into a black, signing it as ‘m.a.’ in the right hand corner.

“i doubt it,” she shrugs, “when will i be able to hang it up?”

“probably in a few days. i’ll text you when and i’ll come over and hang it up,” he helps her off of the stool.

“thanks,” she nods hand now reaching up to search for his own.

he puts his palm against her’s, taking note of how much smaller her dainty, yet tough, hands were against his own. their fingers intertwine perfectly and their temperatures contrast each other’s.

mikasa’s got a small blush as she stares at jean’s chest. jean lets go of her hand, moving it to her cheek along with his free hand and tilts her head up to look at his own.

jean leans down a bit and their lips connect in a sweet kiss. mikasa’s lips are soft and wet against jean’s. they shiver at the other’s contrasting temperature, but deepen the kiss anyways. jean pulls away and watches mikasa’s eyes flutter open and her face get even more red.

it has him kissing her again.

————

mikasa’s giving small chuckles and smiles as jean walks behind her and holds her hands up above her head in his own, guiding her bare feet through the runny sand. vanilla is running circles around the two of them, barking and partly happily.

jean’s making arrogant comments, which is why mikasa’s smiling, as he leads her over back to their group of friends sitting in a sandy fire pit. mikasa’s smile fades when jean sits her down on a bench in front of the fire, the sound of voices flooding her sensitive ears.

it’s mostly sasha and connie, cackling at one another obnoxiously. jean sits on mikasa’s left and eren is at her right.

“we can roast marshmallows now that the lovebirds are back,” connie snickers and it has everyone but eren, mikasa, and jean laughing.

eren’s pretending to gag as he bumps his shoulder into mikasa’s to look over at jean above her head. mikasa doesn’t need sight to know that there’s a sneer on jean’s blushing face when he also pushes his shoulder to her’s.

“stop it,” she says, “i need help with my marshmallow.”

“even blind, mikasa still scares you,” armin laughs to eren, taking a metal stick and a marshmallow from sasha’s outreached hands.

“it’s not like i’m the only one scared of her. jean’s quaking in his boots!”

jean ignores and stabs a marshmallow onto his own metal stick, guiding mikasa’s hand to grip around the wooden handle at the end. he positions her arms to hold the marshmallow over the crackling flames of the fire, and then starts to put his own marshmallow on a stick.

the conversation continues on without comments of both jean and mikasa, now focused on teasing eren. when mikasa’s marshmallow is finished, jean puts the handle of his metal stick between his knees. he’s taking ahold of graham crackers and hershey’s chocolate after he pulls mikasa’s stick away from the fire. he holds her stick at the handle and guides her with his voice to arrange herself a s’more.

“now close it carefully around the marshmallow,” he says and she obliges with caution.

he puts the metal rod on the bench beside his thigh, kissing her cheek as she bites on the s’more.

“it’s messy, be careful,” he’s holding his marshmallow back out over the flames.

she turns her head towards him, giving a small pucker of her messy lips. he kisses her lips, the sticky residue of the marshmallow sticking to his own. he laughs when he pulls away and licks his lips, enjoying the gooey treat.

he’s putting together his own s’more now, occasionally looking towards mikasa, who’s listening to sasha and eren’s conversation with rapt attention. she’s got chocolate, crumbs, and melted marshmallow spread across her mouth.

“babe, let me wipe your face off,” he’s grabbing a paper plate and sitting the s’more on it, then place the plate on the bench.

her eyes look downwards as jean wipes off her messy face with the sleeve of his shirt; something he doesn’t usually do.

“thank you,” she turns her head away, hand patting his thigh in search for his hand.

with his left hand, he holds his s’more. he gives his right to mikasa, who leads it to put his arm around her shoulders. he smiles and tugs her closer to him, kissing the crown of her head before he eats his s’more.

he groans when the flavors hit his tongue, going in to take another bite but stops at mikasa’s head turning to him.

“can i have a bite,” she asks innocently, like she didn’t just have one of her own.

“you just ate one,” he furrows an eyebrow.

instead of a reply, she opens her mouth in hopes for jean to put the s’more against her lips. he rolls his eyes while shaking his head, putting a corner of the s’more against her pretty pink lips. she bites down and he revels at the sight of her small smile.

“thank you.”

“whatever, you would’ve kept bugging me if i hadn’t,” jean snickers, pecking continuously at the crown of her head.

“true,” she smirks and nuzzles her head against his lips.

he shoves the rest of the s’more in his mouth, mikasa only knows because the everyone laughs at the sight. when he’s done chewing, he leans close to her ear to whisper to her.

“i’m gonna go to the car real quick and get a blanket. even with the fire it’s starting to get colder, and you’re wearing a sundress.”

mikasa gives a silent nod, and feels her mood dampen whenever he gets up and leaves.

“can i talk to you,” she lifts her head a bit while she processes the voice.

“yeah, what’s up marco,” he sits next to her.

“nothing’s up. i just wanted to thank you, i guess,” he gives a breathy laugh.

“what for? i didn’t do anything.”

marco put a hand on her shoulder while he smiles, ignoring the fact that she cannot see.

“mikasa,” he starts, “jean’s a lot happier because of you.”

“oh,” she blinks, “i didn’t do anything. if anything, it’s the opposite. he helped me accept and love myself even though i was blind. he guided me.”

marco laughs, “mikasa, while he may have guided you and your hands, you guided him into becoming a better person. he was so lonely and sad before you. he would have one night stands a lot of the time just so he wouldn’t have to sleep alone. his sketchbooks used to be so gloomy and bitter before you and now his sketchbook radiates life. there are so many sketches of you and the people around him, and he hadn’t done that since sophomore year of high school. he paints with light colors instead of the gloomy grey’s and blue’s he used to paint with. he’s so comfortable and content with you, and i’ve never seen him act that way with another person besides myself. he loves you, mikasa.”

mikasa feels herself crying at the speech. ever since mikasa was little, she always felt out of place, even with eren and armin. they were so vibrant and passionate to the point where mikasa could barely comprehend it. mikasa felt she had never made an impact of anyone, not even eren.

in high school, kids would whisper about her in the hall. she always acted unbothered but late at night she would cry silently under her blanket. mikasa never thought of herself as special, even if she was blind. mikasa often felt ashamed of herself for so many reasons; her lack of passion, lack of speech, lack of emotion, and her blindness. she often felt suffocated by the coddling and unsaid expectations eren’s dad left on her shoulders.

when she met jean, it was a breath of fresh air. someone treated her normally and would make her feel free. she felt like she fit in with jean, that he didn’t think she was weird for flaws. she asked him about it once, and he replied that when he said he loves her, he meant her flaws as well. jean made her feel special yet normal at the same time. he never let her lack of sight become a hinderance, instead guiding her with his hands and his voice.

to find out she impacted the person who changed her whole world made her emotional and happy beyond belief. she was also bewildered at the discovery because not once had she impacted someone to her knowledge.

“oh my god! i’m so sorry, i-i didn’t mean to make yoy cry!!!” marco’s freaking out and mikasa doesn’t need sight to know that all eyes are on her.

“mikasa?! what’s wrong?!” eren’s booming voice fills her ears.

“just happy,” she sobs and rubs away her tears.

“hey babe, i got a thin blanket so it might not warm you up too mu— what happened?!!” mikasa hear’s jean’s voice getting closer.

“i’m okay,” she sniffles, but jean ignores her and pulls her onto her feet. it has vanilla following behind.

jean leads her further from the group, stuttering out apologies as if he had done anything wrong. when he stops, he turns around and cups mikasa’s damp cheeks and kisses her nose.

“what’s wrong? what happened? are you okay,” he worries, voice cracking.

“i just,” her own sob cuts her off, “marco told me that i guided you into changing a-and i’ve just never had a-an impact on anyone.”

jean relaxes with a sigh, kissing her softly on the lips.

“he’s not wrong, you’ve impacted me in a way i can’t explain. i’m also sure that you’ve impacted so many people, you just don’t know it. you are so special,” he smile fondly, wiping away her tears.

“you make me feel special,” she laughs through her tears, “and i’ve never felt that, and you know that.”

he hums while he nods.

“cause, again, you are special. my special girl,” he murmurs to her right before he kisses her.

“you’re special because you guided me in the right direction of happiness,” he mumbles against her lips.

“ditto,” mikasa gives a small smile, “thank you for guiding me.”

[vxlkyrie]

letters to you

pairing: spencer reid x reader

genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers!au

warning: cursing, mentions of alcohol

word count: 7.0k

summary: uh oh, spencer wasn’t supposed to see those

a/n: maeve didn’t die nor have a stalker and we stan her and anderson in this household. also i broke my own heart writing this :) enjoy! (also i hate that some of the text isn’t italicized on mobile i want to cry)

“hey y/n, whatchu writing in your diary?” derek smirked as walked through the office.

“none of your business. and it’s not a diary, it’s a journal.” you rolled your eyes as you continued writing.

“and what do you write in your so-called journal?”

“whatever i want. usually thoughts i have when i’m finished with a case.” you shrugged.

“so basically a diary,” he laughed, leaning on your desk. “can i see what you’ve been writing?” he tried to lean over your notebook. your eyes widened.

“no!” you shouted as you slammed your notebook shut, making derek jump up a little. “s-sorry morgan. it’s just that it’s very personal.”

“don’t worry about it. i understand.” he smiled at you, kissing your forehead before going back to his desk.

it’s true that you use your journal to write down your feelings. you weren’t that open on talking about your feelings, so you took an unused notebook and filled up the pages with your rants, whether it was about stressing over a case or having to deal with your bitchy landlord. but you also use that journal to write down your feelings towards a certain boy genius (who actually suggested that you should write down your thoughts in a journal).

you weren’t sure when you started seeing spencer, your best friend, in a different light. maybe it was when he would bring you coffee and a muffin practically everyday. maybe it was when you started to find his fact dumps endearing. maybe it’s when he would cuddle you when you two would have movie nights together.

whatever the exact moment was that made you fall in love with him, you weren’t ready to tell him about your feelings. so, shortly after starting your notebook, you started writing down “love letters” that were addressed to him. you found yourself writing out confessions, moments where you found spencer being adorable, even dates you would have if you two were together (all the cheesy stuff).

dear spencer,

i love you – as more than just a friend.

yes, you are my best friend. you are always there for me when i need someone to get me energized when i didn’t get enough sleep the night before. you are always there for me when i need to tell someone about a shitty date. you are always there for me when i just need a hug after finishing a week-long case. and before i knew it, i found myself falling in love with you.

i wish that i can just tell you how i feel in person, but you know that i’m not that good with expressing my feelings verbally, so i decided to write them down instead. even then, this page isn’t enough to explain what i love about you and how much i love you.

love, y/n

dear spencer,

there are so many times where i just find you cute.

your eyes lighting up after you found out that doctor who is being renewed for another season. your smile after everyone complimented your new haircut. even your little dance after i bought you half a dozen of your favorite donuts.

i could go on forever and list every moment i have found you adorable. my heart starts beating faster just by the sight of seeing you be happy. i know you’ve been through a lot, and you deserve happiness. i hope that someday i can give you that.

love, y/n

dear spencer,

i might not be the most romantic person, but i can’t help but daydream about the cute and cheesy dates we would have.

we could go to the aquarium and you can tell me everything you know about every creature we see. we could visit the art museum and we could point out the small details in each piece. we could even go to the smithsonian!

but we could also go on small cafe dates. maybe go to the bookstore and you could recommend me your favorites (i’ve been trying to read more). we could even just have a night in and have dinner and cuddle while we watch true crime shows and point out their mistakes and make our own profiles.

now that i think about, being with you would be the same as we are now, just with handholding and kissing.

love, y/n

did writing them down help with your feelings? yes.

were you ever going to send him those letters? absolutely fucking not.

“hey y/n!” a voice called. you looked up to see spencer smiling at you from his desk.

“hey spence, what’s up?”

“i’m almost done with my paperwork, wanna grab dinner after? i’m buying.” he asked. your eyes lit up.

“yeah, sure!” you smiled back.

“great! just give me like 15 more minutes.” he said. you nodded, finishing the last file before handing it in to hotch.

-

“oh my god, this food is amazing!” you exclaimed, taking a bite of your dish as spencer chuckled at you. “have some.” you gestured at your food. spencer smiled at you as he grabbed a fork full and placed it in his mouth.

“wow, that is delicious.” he nodded in approval.

“i know right!” you smiled.

“anyways, there’s something i wanted to tell you, y/n.” spencer said. your eyes immediately widened.

does he like me and he’s finally going to confess?

does he know that i like him and he’s trying to let me down easily?

or is it something completely unrelated?

your heart raced as millions of scenarios that could possibly happen at this moment played in your head.

“of course. you know you can tell me anything.” you reassured, grinning at him.

“i know,” he grinned back. “you know that one girl, maeve?”

“that geneticist you’ve been talking to for your migraines? yeah, what about her?” you raised an eyebrow.

“i finally had the guts to ask her out – and she said yes!” he smiled.

oh.

you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. you wanted to just get up and run and never talk to him again, but you couldn’t. you knew that he deserved to be happy – even if it wasn’t with you.

“you didn’t tell me you like her!” you happily exclaimed, putting on a facade.

“i’m sorry! we were so caught up with work and i didn’t even know if her and i would even work out. and if morgan ever found out, he wouldn’t let me hear the end of it.” spencer rambled on.

“is that why you’ve been acting weird and leaving at the most random times?” you raised a teasing eyebrow at him.

“so if our unsub killed our victims here, here, and here,” spencer said as he dotted the map on the board with a marker. “then he could live anywhere around here” he finished as he draw a circle that connected the dots.

“do you think he would live in the middle?” you asked. 

before he could answer, spencer’s phone suddenly started ringing, causing the tall man to reach into his pocket to check who was calling. you peeked over to see a random number display across his screen.

“excuse me.” he said as he quickly left the room.

that’s weird. he never answers calls if it’s not from anyone on the team.

“what’s that about?” emily asked. you shrugged in response.

a few minutes later, spencer returned to the room with a big smile on his face.

“who called?” you asked him. spencer had a panicked look on his face shortly before he switched to a more calm manner.

“oh, my mom.” he lied, which no one seemed to notice.

“yeah,” he shyly nodded. “i’ve been calling her for the past few weeks.”

“that’s great spence! i’m so happy for you!” you smiled widely.

“thank you, y/n. it really means a lot coming from you.” he said, gently grabbing your hand.

please don’t do that. please don’t break my heart into even more pieces.

you slowly pulled your hand away from him, earning a slightly confused expression from spencer.

“so, tell me more about maeve.” you said, making sure he can’t read through you.

“well...”

spencer continued talking as you silently listened and ate the rest of your food (although your appetite has been ruined), talking about maeve’s incredible work in her field and her favorite books. you tried your best to keep your happiest expression on as you hear your best friend (and crush) gush over someone else.

wow, she’s perfect for him.

“she sounds amazing, spence.” you tried your best to smile at him.

as soon as you got back to your place, you finally let the tears flow out of your eyes , sliding down your front door. your body trembled as loud sobs left your mouth, even the hand that was placed over it couldn’t muffle the sounds of your cries and breaking heart.

when you find yourself calming down, you walked into your room and changed into your pajamas as you tried to catch your breath. you unpacked your work bag at your desk. as soon as you took out your journal, you immediately turned to the pages that contained your unsent confessions.

of course he doesn’t like you, stupid. he never did.

you ripped the letters from the spine of your notebook and threw them onto your desk. ignoring the mess you just created, you walked to your bed to get some shut-eye as you let more tears run down your face.

-

you couldn’t let yourself be sad anymore. you had to walk back into work the next day with a smile on your face, making sure none of your coworkers could tell that you were breaking. you let yourself get distracted with cases and paperwork, and even continued talking to spencer like you normally would (because he would definitely notice something was up if you had suddenly stopped). over the next few weeks, you find yourself actually befriending maeve.

“hey spence!” an unfamiliar, yet honey-like voiced called out, causing everyone to turn away from their work. you looked up to see a woman with dark auburn hair carrying a brown paper bag as she walked towards spencer’s desk.

wow, she’s really pretty.

“hey, maeve.” he smiled, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“spencer, how come you didn’t tell us you had a girlfriend?” derek smirked at him.

“we just started dating. everyone, this is maeve.” spencer introduced to the team. everyone said their quick hello’s while you got up from your seat and walked up to the couple.

“so you’re the girl my best friend has been talking to,” you genuinely smiled at her. “hi, i’m y/n.” you said, offering your hand to her.

“it’s nice to meet you! i’ve heard so much about you!” she smiled back at you as she reached out to shake your hand. you raised your eyebrows in surprise.

fuck, and she’s really nice too.

sometimes, maeve would come visit the bau and eat lunch with you and spencer.

“on my way here, i saw that this one clothing store was having a sale.” maeve said as she took a bite out of her lunch.

“oh i saw that!” you exclaimed. “i heard that they were closing, so they decided to have a huge sale. it’s sad to see them go.”

“we should stop by sometime! i think i saw a really cute dress that i wanted to try out.” maeve suggested to you.

honestly, you didn’t feel like a third wheel. it actually feels good to be getting along with spencer’s girlfriend.

“that sounds like fun.” spencer chirped.

“shhh, babe, the girls are talking,” maeve joked as he pouted, causing you to laugh. “i’m kidding! you can come along if you want.” she grabbed his hand as he gave her literal heart eyes.

you felt your heart sting a little.

you would talk to maeve when spencer would bring her over to a family dinner at rossi’s.

“he did what now?” maeve’s jaw dropped in excitement as you told her a story about her boyfriend.

“y/n, don’t tell her, please.” spencer pleaded.

“no, y/n, tell me.” maeve encouraged.

“yeah, y/n, tell her.” derek joined in, placing his head on his hand as he leaned in to listen.

“fine,” you sighed. “spencer wanted to show me how great he is at nunchucks. it was going pretty well, until he accidentally hit his...well, his man parts.” you explained. maeve bursted out laughing along with the others.

“hey!” spencer pouted as he nudged your shoulder with his.

“i’m sorry, it was funny.” you giggled as he ruffled your hair.

“well, now i know what to not get you for your birthday.” maeve smiled. spencer laughed, giving her a kiss on the lips.

you tried your best to not grimace.

you even invited her for a girls’ night out with the rest of the bau ladies.

“thank you for inviting me!” maeve said, giving you a hug.

“oh it’s nothing. you’re dating spencer, so that means you’re a part of our family now.” emily grinned at her.

“and you look amazing. i see that you’re wearing that dress you bought when we went shopping together.” you added.

“you’ve noticed! and thank you for convincing me to buy it, i love it so much.” maeve smiled.

“we’re back with drinks!” penelope yelled as she and jj walked back with a tray full of alcohol. “oh my god, maeve, you’re here!” she smiled at her.

“i am.” maeve laughed.

“oh my god, i forgot to get you a drink! i’m so sorry, i didn’t know what to get you.” penelope practically cried.

“that’s fine, i can go grab something real quick.” maeve stood up from her seat.

“i’ll come with you. i’ll pay for the drink!” penelope said as she followed her back to the bar.

you, emily, and jj took a sip of your drinks.

“so, y/n,” emily started, causing you to turn your head towards her in confusion. “are you okay with all of this?”

“all of what?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“maeve and spencer dating.” she answered. your eyes slightly widened.

“yeah, i’m okay with it. why wouldn’t i be okay with it?”

“because we know you’re in love with spencer.” jj said. you almost choke on your drink.

“i’m not!” you immediately denied. “he’s my best friend.”

“y/n, you might not be that open with your feelings, but we can tell that you like spencer and that him dating someone else is hurting you.” jj explained, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

“and we might’ve read your journal.” emily muttered. you sighed.

“yes, i do like him, but i can’t do anything about it. he looks so happy lately and maeve is such a sweet girl. they’re perfect for each other and i don’t want to ruin that for them.” you shrugged as the girls looked at you with sympathy.

“okay, we’re back!” penelope yelled, causing you three to put on a happy mask. “let’s get this party started!” she added as the rest of you cheered and danced the night away.

despite the random times your heart would hurt after seeing spencer and maeve showing affection, you were genuinely happy for him.

“hey y/n,” spencer called out to you from his desk, causing you to look up from your files. “why are you still single?” he asked bluntly, causing an eavesdropping derek to spit out his coffee.

“first of all, ouch,” you sarcastically scoffed. “second of all, i just haven’t had time nor found the right guy.”

and that i’m madly in love with you.

you ignore emily and jj raising their eyebrows at you.

“well, i can set you up with someone i know.” spencer grinned.

“spence, you don’t have to do that-”

“yes i do! you’re my best friend and an amazing person and i want to see you happy.” he explained. you were definitely ignoring emily’s and jj’s eyes practically popping out of their heads.

right. best friend.

“besides, we have the weekend off. you can go on a double date with me and maeve at the foreign film festival!” spencer beamed.

“oh, i don’t want to be a bother.”

“you won’t be! and i think you’ll like this guy.” he said with confidence.

me liking a guy who isn’t you? i don’t know about that.

“please y/n.” spencer begged. after a few moments, you sighed.

“fine, i’ll go.” you agreed in surrender.

“great! i’ll text you the details later.”

maybe this blind date will actually go pretty well and i’ll finally get over spencer.

-

you arrived to the park that the festival was being held at, carrying a picnic blanket as you sported a cute midi dress.

“y/n!” a familiar voice called out to you. you turned to see spencer waving to you with one arm as the other was wrapped around maeve’s waist. you noticed another familiar figure standing next to them.

“hey guys!” you smiled as you quickly walked up to them, giving spencer a hug.

“you look amazing!” maeve complimented you, bringing you in for a quick hug as well.

“thank you, you too!” you grinned at her. you turned to the third person, giving him a friendly smile.

“y/n, this is-”

“agent anderson.” you smirked at him, surprised that spencer had set you up with a coworker.

“please, call me grant. you look beautiful.” he smiled at you.

“thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.” you smiled back.

grant wasn’t a horrible guy. you’ve had small talk with the guy before, and you were actually shocked to see that he shared a few similar interests as you. and you weren’t going to lie, he was quite the looker.

“we still have another half hour until the screening starts. let’s walk around and check out the vendors.” spencer announced, grabbing maeve’s hand as they walked away.

that definitely did not hurt. and you are on a date right now, y/n.

“see you later, lovebirds!” she shouted, causing you two to laugh.

“let’s go, shall we?” grant offered his arm to you. you grinned as you wrapped your arm around it.

as you two walked around, you found yourself having a good time while talking to grant. you both talked about where you’re from, what made you want to go into criminal justice, and even teased each other for the snack choices you both bought for the films.

“i’m telling you, sour patch watermelon is better.” you argued as grant laid down the picnic blanket next to spencer and maeve (who were already cuddled up next to each other).

“at least you get different flavors with sour patch kids.” grant raised an eyebrow at you. you huffed as you took your spot next to him, popping another piece of candy in your mouth.

“aw look, they’re already having their first fight, how cute.” spencer teased, earning a popcorn thrown to the head by you.

soon, the first movie projected onto the big screen, the noises dying down as it started. grant wrapped his arm around you (after asking you politely, which you accepted) as you watched the movie with ease, seeing that you knew the language it was playing in.

“hey, y/n?” grant whispered.

“yeah?” you raised your eyebrows as your eyes were glued onto the screen.

“funny thing, actually. see, i don’t know really know what they’re saying,” he gave a nervous chuckle quietly. you looked at him with confusion. “i thought they were going to have subtitles.” he confessed as you tried to suppress a laugh.

“don’t worry, i got you,” you gave him a small smile. “so far, the guy and the girl are from rich families and their parents are making them marry in the next month.” you explained.

“oh,” he nodded. “wait, what’s happening now?” he looked at the screen with interest.

“that guy over there,” you pointed out the weird-looking man. “is trying to make sure the marriage doesn’t happen. he said he’s gonna seduce the girl and marry her and take her money and kill her.”

“not with that mustache.” grant joked, causing you to chuckle.

you kept translating for grant, trying to keep quiet as he kept making funny remarks. you were having a great time with him, until you heard giggles from your left.

you turn your head to see maeve smiling as spencer’s lips were centimeters away from her ear  (assuming that he was translating the movie for her too) as his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders. you couldn’t help but feel you heart breaking again.

“you okay, y/n?” grant whispered closely to you. you slightly jumped, snapping your head towards him.

“yeah, i’m fine.” you faked a smile.

you both continued translating and joking around as you ignored the pain in your chest. after a couple more hours, the film finished with a happy ending, causing you to tear up (and grant to wipe them away with the sleeves of his sweater).

“that was such a good movie.” spencer said as the four of you walked to your cars.

“i know! i started crying!” you said, earning laughs from everyone.

“y/n, you cry at everything though.” spencer teased.

“i do! it’s a talent of mine.” you quipped, raising an eyebrow at him as grant laughed.

“well, this is us,” maeve said as she and spencer stood by her car. “we’ll see you two later!” she bid goodbye as you hugged her and spencer.

“see ya!” you waved goodbye as they got in the car.

“may i walk you to your car?” grant offered.

“sure!” you accepted as you led the way. a comfort silence fell between you two as you walked under the moonlight.

“you’re in love with him, aren’t you?” grant broke the silence. you stopped in your tracks.

“what?” you furrowed your brows.

“spencer. you like him.”

“what? no,” you shook your head as you continued walking. “he’s my best friend.”

“i don’t need to be a profiler to notice the way you look at him,” he shyly put his hands in his pockets. “and i’m guessing you let him set you up on a blind date so you could get over him.”

“i’m sorry grant,” you sighed. “you’re a great guy, really. and i had a lot of fun tonight.” you sulked.

“y/n, it’s totally fine. you can’t control who you love,” he patted you shoulder in comfort. “i think you should tell him how you feel.” he suggested. you looked at him like he was crazy.

“that sounds like a horrible idea, grant,” you laughed. “as you can see, he’s in a happy relationship.” you said as you arrived to your car, leaning on your door.

“i’m serious! you really should.”

“and why would i do that?” you crossed your arms.

“first, spencer looks at you the way you look at him. second, you should hear the way he talks about you.” grant explained.

“no way. he’s just being a good friend and he’s known me for a long time.”

“when he was talking to me about setting us up, he talked about you as if you had put all of the stars in the sky – he was blushing and even stuttering! trust me y/n, i know. tell him before you lose him for good.” he rambled. you sighed, not wanting to get your hopes up.

“i don’t believe you for one bit,” you both laughed. “and besides, i don’t want to ruin spencer’s happiness.”

“you both deserve to be happy,” he smiled at you. you lazily smiled back at him. “listen, i gotta go. thank you for tonight, y/n, it was nice getting to know you more. even though this date didn’t go as planned, it was nice to make a new friend.”

“thank you grant.” you pulled him in for a warm and comforting hug.

-

you scrolled through netflix as you tried to decide on a series to binge-watch with spencer.

spencer: hey y/n, can i come over and hang out with you?

y/n: sure, why?

spencer: maeve’s caught up with work.

y/n: oh, is she okay with that?

spencer: yeah! she knows we’re just friends.

yeah. just friends.

spencer: wanna watch something? i’ll let you pick.

y/n: sure!

spencer: great! i’ll see you in a bit. :)

yay. great.

you finished putting down bowls of your favorite snacks on the coffee table when you heard a knock. you rushed over to open your door to see your best friend smiling at you.

“hey, come in! i hope you like watching new girl again.” you opened your door wider, letting spencer walk in, he immediately jumped onto your couch. you laughed as you sat next to him, pressing the play button on your remote.

“so, how was the date? what do you think of grant?” spencer asked as the show played in the background.

“it was fun! he’s a cool guy.” you answered.

“that’s great! did you guys kiss? when’s the wedding?” he joked.

“hold your horses, bud,” you rolled your eyes at him. “we did not kiss and there will be no wedding. we actually decided to be just friends.”

“what?!” spencer’s eyes widened. “why?! you two looked so good together.” he pouted.

“i know you worked hard to get us together, and i appreciate you for doing that, but it’s for the best. now can we get back to new girl?” you asked. spencer nodded as you two glued your eyes to the tv.

after a season had finished, spencer looked to you, only to see you knocked out. he shook his head in amusement as he stood up and walked to your room to find you a blanket. before he could grab your blanket, your desk caught his eyes.

“what a mess,” spencer muttered to himself as he tried to organize the files that sat on top of a pile of paper. he moved a few folders and started to organize the papers until he started reading them. “what are these?”

dear spencer,

you are the sweetest person i know. you always bring me my coffee order (i would ask you how you remember my order, but then i realized you have eidetic memory) along with my favorite muffin. even when i have already gotten my order, you still show up with two coffee cups and a paper bag and give me my half. 

to be honest, i feel bad that you’re always spending on me, even if it’s just coffee and muffins and you always tell me that it’s nothing. but i appreciate that you’re always thinking of me – and that’s one of the many reasons why i have fallen for you.

love, y/n

“fallen for me?”

dear spencer,

i wonder how many facts go through your head at a time. i also wonder what kind of books you’ve read to have come across those facts. and with the amount of facts that your brain has obtained, i wonder how fast it takes for your brain to bring up a fact that relates to whatever we’re talking about.

despite the random times you started rambling about a topic and someone from the team stops you, i started to find them fascinating. they’ve interested me enough to the point where i started to do some research on my own whenever you brought up a random fact. your fact dumps are cute – you’re cute.

love, y/n

“y/n thinks i’m cute?”

dear spencer,

oh boy, the things you do to me. i know you’re my best friend, but there are times where it just feels like we could be so much more. remember when we were hanging out at my place and we were watching star wars for the hundredth time? we were having a great time, until you wrapped your arms around me and started cuddling me while we finished the rest of the movies.

i got scared, but i didn’t stop you. i let you hold me in your arms and even wrapped my arms around your torso and leaned on you, hoping that you didn’t notice my heart beating louder and faster than usual. i shouldn’t be feeling this way for my best friend, but goddamnit spencer i’m in love with you.

love, y/n.

“she’s in love with me?”

“s-spence?” a voice called out to him. spencer turned his head to see you with a terrified look on your face. “what are you doing with those?”

“i- are these love letters? to me?” he asked. you visibly gulped.

“those were from a long time ago.” you tried to explain as you felt your eyes starting to sting.

“why didn’t you tell me?” spencer sounded like he was about to break. you deeply inhaled before speaking.

“i was scared of ruining our friendship and obviously you don’t see me that way. there was no point in telling you since you’re with maeve now. i meant to throw those away, but i guess i forgot.” you lowered your head. spencer sighed as he tried to take everything in.

“y/n-”

“can you leave?” you asked slowly. “i think we both need some time to be alone right now.”

“but we need to talk this ou-”

“spencer, please.” you looked up at him with tears that were ready to fall. he understood and walked out. as soon as you heard your door close, you fell onto your bed, hugging your legs to your chest, sobbing until you let darkness consume you.

-

after a few days of taking some time off, you were called in for a local case. the moment you sat at your desk, you could feel spencer’s eyes on you. ever since that night, you haven’t returned any of his calls or messages as you tried to recover yourself from getting your heart broken. and now that you’re back, everybody could feel the awkward tension between you two. you tried to ignore it, putting your focus on the case. 

luckily, hotch could tell what was going on and decided to pair you off with emily for the day. the case you were working on wasn’t as severe as the others you have worked on, so as soon as the team delivered the profile, you went out to lunch with grant.

“and then i asked him to leave.” you finished explaining the incident to him.

“i’m sorry that happened.”

“it’s not your fault. my dumb ass forgot to throw away those stupid letters and now spencer and i can’t even look at each other.” you sighed as you continued to eat your lunch.

“don’t say that. it was better that he found out sooner or else your feelings would’ve eaten you up the longer you kept them in.” grant raised his eyebrows at you.

“you’re right. i just miss him. i miss seeing him and talking to him and i messed it all up. god, even after a few days off, i’m still not over him.” you lazily poked your food.

“the wound is still fresh. no one expects you to be alright right away. but it does help if you talk to him.” he suggested.

“what is there to talk about? spencer doesn’t like me and he’s happy with maeve – end of story.”

“yeah about that,” grant nervously chuckled. “spencer broke up with her.”

“what?” your eyes widened. “why? they were so good together. i didn’t want him to break up with her because of me. now i feel bad.” you frowned.

“he didn’t tell me exactly why they broke up, but i’m guessing it has to do with how he feels about you.” he shrugged.

“about me? yeah, sure.” you roll your eyes in amusement.

“you’ll never know unless you talk to him.”

“how do you always know what to say?” you grinned at your friend.

“it’s part of the charm.” he said, earning a laugh from you.

you soon returned to work to wrap up the case. hours later, it ended with a quick arrest with no one else getting hurt. you relaxed into your desk chair as you started on paperwork.

hours later, you found yourself being one of the only people left in the office (along with spencer sitting at his desk and hotch in his office).

“are you sure you don’t want to come get drinks with us? paperwork can wait until tomorrow.” emily offered as she, jj, derek, and penelope were ready to hit the town.

“as much as i would love to, i think i’m just gonna stay in tonight after i’m done. thank you though, and have fun for me!” you smiled at them, giving them quick hugs before returning back to work.

after a couple more hours, you finished the last of your paperwork, bringing your pile up to hotch’s office.

“here’s that paperwork i’ve finished. i also finished morgan’s pile,” you said, placing the files on his desk. “is there anymore that you want me to do?”

“no, you’ve done a lot today. get some rest.”

“okay, thank you.” you smiled at him.

“thank you again, y/n, have a good night.” he said, not even making eye contact.

“thanks, you too.”

“oh, and y/n?” hotch quickly said, lifting his head up. “talk to reid.” he simply said. you softly exhale.

“yes sir.” you nodded, giving your boss a small smile.

you quickly returned to your desk, looking up to see that spencer had already left. you slump your shoulders in defeat.

maybe i’ll talk to him tomorrow.

you opened your drawer to grab a few items and placed them in your bag. you checked the drawer again to make sure you didn’t miss anything, until you noticed some things that weren’t there before.

envelopes? what are those doing there?

you picked them up to see your name and a number written in an eerily familiar handwriting on one side. you carefully opened the envelope that said ‘y/n (1).’

dear y/n,

you’ve always intrigued me. not gonna lie, when i first met you, i was intimidated by you. you carried yourself with such confidence and ambition, i instantly thought that we were opposites – that you would be annoyed by me. but then i got to know you. you greeted me with a big smile, and i honestly felt my knees wobbling.

you are the sweetest girl. you’re so understanding and you always make everyone’s happiness your number one priority (although i do think it’s not a bad thing to be selfish sometimes). you’ve done so much for everyone, especially the team, both inside and outside of work.

when i found out you had a secret love for superheroes and science fiction, we became closer. i told you everything and whenever i felt down, you were the first person i went to, and you did the same to me. i am so grateful to have you by my side. i know you aren’t one to open up a lot, but i’m happy to be that one person you let break down your walls sometimes.

love, spencer

you started choking on air as your heart started picking up the pace. you picked up the second letter, opening it a little faster than the first one. you took a deep breath before you started reading the longer letter.

dear y/n,

for someone who has eidetic memory, i can’t pinpoint the exact moment where i realized i was starting to have feelings for you. there are so many moments where i see you as more than just my best friend, it’s honestly the little things you do that just gives me butterflies in my stomach.

like your first christmas with the team when you gave me several pairs of star trek socks. you told me you felt bad for not getting me something more expensive, but i love them. i’ve worn those socks more than any other pair i own. there was another time where you sent my mother a gift basket just because you thought she was feeling down. i didn’t know you sent her one until she called me out of the blue, wanting to thank you for cheering her up – i honestly didn’t even know you two regularly talked to each other. i don’t really talk to anyone about my mom until i met you, and it really means a lot to me seeing you check up on her when i wasn’t able to.

but what made my heart flutter the most is when you came over to jj’s and helped watch henry with me. i can usually take care of that little rascal without trouble, but i guess one night he decided to eat a bunch of candy and run around the house. you basically teleported (which is not scientifically possible, yet) and managed to catch henry and help him settle down. i couldn’t help but admire you with loving eyes as you made henry laugh while you tucked him into bed. you’re really great with kids and would make an amazing mother someday.

this letter was longer than usual and i got a little carried away. i just wanted to tell you that you are a wonderful person who deserves the world.

love, spencer

you felt a tug at your heartstrings as you smiled from ear to ear. you looked at the last envelope, feeling a little bit scared to open it. nonetheless, you ripped the top open, taking in another deep breath before reading.

dear y/n,

i really am an idiot, aren’t i? ever since the night i found your letters, i felt like the biggest jerk in the world. i broke your heart many times without even noticing, and seeing you cry that night made me feel like absolute shit. i hate that i’m reason you’re hurting and i would give everything up just to make you happy again.

after thinking things through, i broke up with maeve that same night. i love her and she will always have a place in my heart, but she isn’t you. and before you start to think that it’s your fault, it’s definitely not. i made the decision to end things with her, and don’t worry, she’s okay and she actually understands. i’m 100% sure of my decision.

i’ve never met anyone like you. you’ve been in my thoughts and dreams for the longest time. when i fell for you, i fell hard. i didn’t even think you would see me as more than just a best friend, and i am such an idiot for thinking that i can replace you. you deserve true love and happiness and i hope you find that someone that gives you their all – even if it isn’t me.

love, spencer.

you wiped the tears off your face as you read the last sentence.

“holy shit.” you managed to breathe out. 

you quickly got up and grabbed your bag and car keys and sprinted to the elevator. you bounced your leg as you anxiously waited for the elevator to reach the parking garage.

run to your car. speed to spencer’s apartment without getting pulled over. slam on his door until he answers it – i’ll kick it down if i have to.

as soon as the doors open, you started running to your car. as you got closer, you spotted a tall figure leaning on your car, stopping in your tracks and almost dropping your keys.

“spencer?” you said, causing him to jump up a little.

“hey y/n.” he scrambled, trying to get himself together.

“you waited for me?” you stated the obvious. spencer nodded, giving you a nervous smile.

“seeing that you were still up there for a while, i’m guessing you read the letters.” he lightly scratched the back of his neck.

“oh, i had one more case to file,” you started to joke. “what letters?” you raised an eyebrow. spencer’s eyes widened.

“well, this is awkward. i guess i’ll get going-” he started to walk away.

“i’m just kidding!” you exclaimed, gently grabbing his wrist. “i did read them.” you said quietly.

“oh.” spencer cooed.

“look, i didn’t mean to put you in that situation. i really was happy for you two and i know you said it’s not my fault you broke up with her, but i can’t help but feel guilty. i’m sorry.” you felt tears building up again.

“please, don’t be,” spencer grabbed your hands. “yes i liked maeve. she’s a great person and all, but what i felt for her was nothing compared to what i feel for you.” he confessed. you felt your heart racing.

“really?”

“yes,” he chuckled. “and if you don’t feel the same anymore, i’m totally fine just being your best friend. i’d rather have you in my life as a friend than as nothing at all. and i know you deserve someone who makes you happy and won’t break your heart and-”

before spencer could finish, you placed your hands behind his neck and pulled him in for a sweet, yet passionate kiss. you felt him smile as he held your face in his hands, deepening the kiss. soon, you both pull back to catch your breaths, and you found yourself looking at him as if he held the entire universe in his eyes. you gently placed a hand on his cheek.

“i want you.” you lazily smiled at him.

“can i ask you something?” spencer raised his eyebrows.

“anything.”

“did you throw away those letters?” he asked. you thought about his question, realizing that you never really did touch those letters ever since he found them.

“actually, i didn’t. why?” you looked at him with confusion. spencer suddenly started smiling mischievously. he snatched your car keys out of your hand and ran to the driver’s side.

“we’re going back to your place and i’m reading every single letter you wrote me!” he laughed.

“spencer, no!”

[angelisverba]

so precious, if only you knew

in which y/n thinks her brother’s best friend sees her as a little sister, and Jason, her brother’s best friend, thinks she’s too cute for her own good.

word count: 9k give or take some :D

pairing: y/n, and her brothers best friend, Jason (from the snl skit)

notes: inspired by project x. that’s all.

When Jason and his friends were in their freshman year of high school, they made a pact.

To have a party.

A party so big, everyone got laid. A party so big, celebrities came. A party so big, the police feared it.

One where they would loose their virginity. Get drunk so they couldn’t remember how they lost it (although, now it’s too late ‘cause none of them are virgins). And maybe, just maybe, participate in the illegal consumption of illegal substances such as drugs and or alcohol.

At the time of their promise, it was unknown if this party would be any sort of celebration, or just for the hell of it. The four, gangly, skinny, face-full-of-acne, boys had been so fueled by the simple idea that they just had to make their party so legendary future alumni could only imagine imitating an ordeal as great as the one they created. As time passed, they argued over who’s birthday, or what holiday would be the cause of, as it had come to be named, G.C.B.B. Get Crunk and Bone Babes. Pronounced gee-sea-babe, because somehow the two b’s had morphed into ‘babe’. GCBabe, in the end, was endowed to Jason when he made a bet that he would score the winning touchdown and win the league for his high school during his junior year. Andrew and Kent, slightly peeved but more relieved that they had a reason to celebrate (they’d settled on Jason’s birthday), and had shifted their focus to the hows, when, wheres, and whats of the situation.

This was the only thing they ever talked about the closer it got to the date, Feburary 1st, and everything they did revolved around spreading the word, obtaining booze, weed, and whatever else they planned on having. Andrew, who’s uncle so conveniently ran a radio station, not only announced a message himself on said radio station, but also convinced his uncle’s dj coworkers to email any celebrities they knew.

Kent, more on the brainy side of things, was working on the booze and drugs. He snuck into the school and used that machine they had to make student id’s and created a fake state id for himself. He would buy booze in a store where workers didn’t know him. Maybe drive 30 minutes to the next town for beer and the lot. His cousin had told him not to worry about weed and the sorts, as long as he received payment.

Jason, ever the spoiled brat, would pay for everything. Even if it was his birthday.

No, no, because it was his birthday.

The thing is, his parents were going out of town to celebrate their anniversary, which just so happened to fall on Jason’s birthday (what a wonderful gift to Jason’s dad), and had given him a generous sum of money to make up for the fact that they wouldn’t be there to celebrate his 18th birthday party. So, he had the house, the money, and the birthday to celebrate.

“YOU’VE HEARD IT ONCE BEFORE, AND YOU’LL HEAR IT AGAIN TILL THE END OF THIS SCHOOL’S TIME,” yelled Andrew, who stood on the back of a golf cart, megaphone in hand while Jason and Kent drove him up and down the lunch tables, “PARTY AT FUCKING JASON’S HOUSE, THIS SATURDAY. MISS IT, AND YOU’LL DIE.”

“Andrew!”

The cart came to a stop in front of a very disgruntled-looking y/n, Andrew’s sister. She stood comically, with her hands bunched up into tiny fists at her hips, lips in a frown at her brothers actions. “Are you trying to cause a riot? Miss it or die,” she mocked, pulling a funny face and cocking her hip to the side as she does so, “Yeah, think I’d rather die, thanks. Now shut up and put that cart back before they take away your senior privileges.”

Kent laughs, and Jason, leaning with his forearms crossed on top of the steering wheel, snickered into his wrists.

“Well, I’ve got news for you sissy,” said Andrew, his tongue poking out at her playfully, “Coach Barnwell let us borrow his cart, and all the snitch staff is in a meeting, so I’m not gonna get into trouble,” He makes and L with his forefinger and thumb, pressing it on his forehead, “Loser. Now, scram. Go study for chem or... something.”

Y/n laughed at her brother, knowing that he was only joking with her, and flipped him off. She walked away with, as Andrew said, her chem book tucked underneath her arm, and shut herself in a little nook at the library for the remainder of the lunch period. Away from the ‘get crunk and bone babes’ nonsense, god knows she heard enough of it at home. Jason this, and GCBabe that. Sheesh, it was terrible. All she ever wanted to do was study and do her homework in peace... and maybe steal a few glances and Jason here and there.

But we don’t have to talk about that. What y/n really needed to do, was study for the chem test she had on Friday. Tomorrow. She was the best in her class, always raising her hand to answer a question, but for whatever reason, she just couldn’t get the hand of stoichiometry if she didn’t have a sample problem in front of her. She didn’t want to have to, but grades mattered, so all day she had been thinking of way to cheat. How to write what she needed. Which letters to shorten. Where to hide the slip of paper.

She’d done it before.

Cheat on a test, that is. The pressure there was to ensure good grades, well it was an insurmountable force. Her entire life, her parents told her academic success led to success in life, and you don’t want to end up homeless under the bridge do you, y/n?

She didn’t. It was her biggest fear. Studying hard for a nice home and car, and enough money to support herself and her kids was a constant thought in the back of her mind.

It’s because of this that the tip of her nose was always stuck in a book, her fingers always wrapped around a pencil that transcribed notes in her neat writing. It was all she knew.

Because it was all she knew. It was no surprise to her parents when she pulled all-nighters to study for tests. Or when she declined offers to eat dinner out because ‘mom, I have a test to study for’ or ‘dad, i really need to finish this essay’. That night, was no different. Y/n stayed up to study, her thumb pink because of all the pages she was flipping through. Her wrist her from forcing her writing to be as small as it could, so she could fit all she could on an index card she cut in half. 

In the morning, Andrew cheered a loud, “WHOOP! WHOOP! MY SISTER ISN’T SUCH A GOODY TWO SHOES AFTER ALL!” when he saw her place the card up her shirtsleeve after she put her seat belt on. Y/n, had she had the energy, would’ve pushed his shoulder, but instead chose to take a nap during the measly 15 minutes it took to get to school. Her head jostled against the headrest with the cars movements, and she almost cried because she couldn’t doze off. Somewhere along the way, she felt fingers against the side of her face, cradling her head. She jumped, startled, but she heard Andrew say,

“Relax, its Jason. Picked him up cause he needed a ride to school.” and she was out like a light.

Andrew got out of the car once he parked, and Jason circled around the passenger seat so he leaned over the console, with his palm still on the other side of her face. He rubbed up and down her forearm to wake her, murmuring, “We’re here, y/n. S’time to wake up.”

Y/n woke up disoriented, starting with a deep breath and her eyes blinking open slowly, looking around and landing on Jason, who was smiling at her tenderly. She smiles back at him, tilting her head to the side as she does so. She hopes he can’t hear how fast her heart is beating.

“Good morning,” she said to him. The warning bell rings not long after that, and she turns away from him to reach for her backpack. Jason grabs his own backpack, too, swinging it over his should and stepping out of Andrew’s car. Andrew stands at the front of the car, texting someone on his phone while he waits for Jason and his little sister to step out.

“C’mon guys. Big day today!” yelled Andrew. It seemed as if he was always yelling. His voice, ebullient and clear, held an electrifying energy today, amplifying itself to the max. He whooped and hollered, locking his car carelessly and comically skipping away, but not before turning back and blowing a kiss in Jason’s general direction, yelling, “This is for you, big boy!”

Y/n snickered at her brother, and at Jason’s shocked face. “That was for you, big boy,” she repeated after he brother.

“You forgot the kiss,” he said, pouting and pointing his chin down at the floor. Her heart doubled over in her chest, and she struggled to contain her swoon.The little 13 year old in her, having been the first time she ever felt anything for Jason, squealed like a banshee, and the rational 17 year old in her, shushed her by taping her mouth closed. Having seen Jason’s blonde, skinny, cheerleader girlfriends, she knew it would never happen. Jason was only nice to her because she was his best friend’s little sister.

That was all she’d ever be.

“Oh I have no doubt you’ll get plenty of those tomorrow,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. When she noticed the groups of students getting smaller and smaller, she started walking away, eager to get to class and not be late. She’s only taken three steps when Jason calls out her name.

“I know you’ll do great on your test today,” and he has the goofiest smile on his stupidly handsome name and y/n just wants to go over there and slap him for making her heart to pirouettes.

“Thank you,” she said, and turned to walk to her class.

Jason felt as if he was in one of those indie movies. But, the ones from the 80′s. Ironically, he’s leaned up against the car, one foot propped up, hand clenching the singular strap he wore on his left shoulder. Entranced, he stared after y/n as she walked away, brows dipped over his eyes and his leg bouncing jitterishly.

When he was 16, a sophomore, and she a freshman, he’d stumbled upon her on a rainy spring day. He’d been on his way home from his (now ex) girlfriend’s house, and she was huddled underneath a large birch tree, the canopy thick enough so she wasn’t getting wet, but the winds strong enough that she was chilled to the bone. Her knees were banged up, and her ankle was twisted. Jason remembers asking her what happened, and she said nothing, instead jumping into his arms when he knelt down beneath her. He remember hissing because she was so cold, her clothes soaked through. She’d whispered to him a weak don’t tell my parents, please take me to your house, and he did. He took her to his house, carrying her because the poor thing had to hop on one foot. This was around the time he was bulking for wrestling, so he didn’t have a hard time lifting her and carrying her the rest of the way.

She fell asleep on his bed wearing a pair of his sweatpants and his hoodie after she took a warm shower. They never talked about. Not even once. But Jason swears that every once in a while, the skin of his neck still burns where she pressed a kiss to it after he got in bed next to her because she was ‘still cold’.

Since then, Jason harbored feelings for her. His yearning of her dainty hands to press against his chest while she cuddled into him was squashed every time he heard Andrew yell at another guy in the locker room for sexualizing his sister.

It was a dangerous game he played. Sneaking looks at her in car rides to and from school. Wanting to kiss her like he did then. And when she wore plaid school girl skirts, he wanted to press her up against the wall and hold her by the throat while his tongue snaked into her mouth. All while he sat next to Andrew.

He knew that one day, he’d say fuck it all and do it. He wasn’t an idiot. His back burned when she stared a him from her kitchen isle while he played video games with Kent and Andrew in the living room of her house. He knew every little thing she tried to pass as discreet, because he did the same thing too.

One day, and one day soon, he’d say fuck. it. all.

.

.

.

Y/n was very nervous.

Well, she always get nervous when she’s getting ready to take a test but, today was different. She was on edge, leg bouncing and head pounding. She was stressed. Her english teacher had assigned a paper that was due at midnight, and her math teacher had given her a surprise quiz she knows she failed. And this test was her chance to bring her B+ to an A-. Not to mention, if she got caught, she’d be sent up to the office with a referral.

“You have until the end of class to complete this exam. If you fail to complete before the class period, you will be granted five minutes after the bell. You may begin,” the teacher, Mrs. Prowe, sat down after the little announcement, and turned her full attention to an adult coloring book she had set up on her desk.

Y/n stared at the first question for a solid 2 minutes before any of the information actually sunk in. To which does He belong? a. metals b. metalloids c. non-met....

The first few questions are always easy. Review from past chapters, all of which y/n understood. The first page, front and back, were a breeze. She bubbled in circled on her answer sheet without hesitation. The back side, however, was a different story.

Her palms began to sweat at the sight of brackets and subscripts on letters. Her pencil started slipping. Y/n’s heart started to race, the edges of her eyes blurring. Don’t cry, don’t cry. Fuck. The note card. She took it out with no second thoughts. Within seconds, she had finished the first problem. It was almost exactly like the example exercise she had copied down, only the letters had been changed; different elements. Halfway through the period, the teacher announced how much time was left, and y/n was nearly done.

On the last page, however, was one problem she knew she wouldn’t get. It was one of what the teacher called ‘irregulars’, because you needed to follow certain rules that pertained to the elements or whatever the heck it was. She stared at the paper with her eyebrows raised, and all the dreadful feelings she had felt before tumbled back. Her pencil began to slip, her eyes began to blur. Shit, shit.

The bell rang. She didn’t want to doddle any longer, cut she needed to answer this last problem, and she didn’t fucking know how. Her leg was near violently shaking, the table quivering with her movements. Her breathing grew tight, and she figured, she could lose one point. Knowing Mrs. Prowe it wouldn’t matter because that last one is most likely worth half the test. Y/n felt herself go rigid, body nearly frozen as she walked against student traffic to place her test on the teachers desk.

She was the last to exit the classroom. She did so with her head hung low, her feet dragging slowly on the tiles. Lips trembling, fighting to hold back tears.

That was how she bumped into Jason. Shoulders drooping and eyes shining wet. She bumped into his chest so hard, she would’ve fallen back if he didn’t catch her.

“Y/n?” He asked after he stumbled back a bit. He���d seen her coming, and he was looking at her, ready to smile when she looked up, but she hadn’t. “What’s wrong?” He followed her gaze to try and make eye contact with her, but she shifted her eyes to the floor, and let the tears slip.

“Y/n? Y/n? Hey, look at me,” Jason’s voice was desperate and panicked because he wasn’t really sure what was wrong. Y/n started to curl in on herself, her hands coming to clutch opposite shoulders. When she didn’t look up at him, Jason gingerly lifted her chin up with his curled forefinger. “What is it?”

“It’s too much. I-I,” was all she managed to whisper before she started crying, she body swaying with sobs. Y/n knew, she knew she was crossing the same lines she had that rainy spring day, but she needed to feel her arms around him. She needed to feel secure.

So,

she took one step forward, and wrapped her arms around his neck awkwardly, Not a full millisecond passed, when she felt his arms encompass her, a secure bind around her waist. His chin propped on her head, on his hands rubbing up and down her back, and she had her face tucked into his neck.

“S’okay, y/n. You’re okay,” He cooed into her ear, making ssh-ssh noises every now and then.

Slowly but surely, y/n felt herself come down from the self-destructive place she put herself in; the knot in her throat untangled. She began to retract her arms from Jason’s neck, when his arms tightened around her. She stilled, unsure of what to do.

For a second, Jason had forgotten his situation. Why he couldn’t get close to her. He was so close to saying fuck-it-all. He wasn’t sure what held him back. Maybe it was her teary eyes. Or the fact that a teacher had come out of their classroom. But, he cleared his throat and pulled away from her, stuffing his hands in his letterman jacket to avoid reaching out to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“Sorry about that,” she said, sniffing and attempting to laugh to brush off the back that she had a mini-breakdown in his arms. “I-”

“It’s okay, y/n. Don’t apologize. I just want to to know what had you so upset,” Jason said, his words coming out slowly to make sure that she truly understood how much he meant them.

“It’s just,” she sighed, “school. It’s a lot.”

He scoffed, “I bet. You do so much. More than you give yourself credit for, I think. Deserve a break.”

“This weekend; s’gonna be my break. Yours too, no? Are you excited?” She confessed, turning the other way and beginning to walk. She was sure that Andrew was waiting for them at the car. Jason walked alongside her, as soon as she started moving.

“Yeah. It’s been all me, Kent, and Andrew have wanted since freshman year.” Jason stops talking for a minute, and scrunches one side of his face.

“But?” Y/n prods. Looking at him out of the corner of her eye. He scratched the back of his neck, and his jacket inflates where his bicep flexes. Jason notices her looking, and smiles at her while giving her a side-eye look. Blushing, she turns her face straight forwards, like that didn’t just happen.

“But, some of the novelty has worn off if I’m being honest.” When she hums, almost knowingly, he adds quickly, “Don’t tell Andrew or Kent I said that.”

She giggled, and murmured, “You’ve kept my secrets, I’ll keep yours.”

Jason, surprised at her subtle acknowledgement of what happened nearly 2 years ago, turns to look at her, shocked. He wants to say something. Anything to get her to say more, but he sees Andrew and shuts his gaping mouth.

“There you are- hey, y/n, are you okay?” Andrew’s chesire cat grin drops from his face when he sees that his little sister’s face is splotchy and swollen red from past tears- a look he recognizes all to well from the times she’d come into his room in the middle of the night asking to be held.

“I’m good,” she smiled at her brother, a sad smile that revealed she wasn’t okay, but didn’t wanna talk about it. “Let’s go home.”

Their ride was full of quick gibber and banter over tomorrow. How thing would go down, who they hoped to see and, in Andrew’s words, fuck. What music they would play, etc. etc. Y/n laughed at their enthusiasm under her breath. As much as she loved her brother, he could be such an idiot sometimes

They dropped Jason off at his house, which was being prepped by Kent by the looks of it. His car- a red corolla- was parked in Jason’s strip of a driveway. Andrew promised he’d be joining them later that night, and pulled out. 

He pulled the windows up, and turned the music off. Then, he said,

“Y/n, what happened?” Andrew, as much as he was a fuckboy an party animal, cared about his sister if he cared about anything at all. Maybe a little too much.

Pushing air past her lips, “I’m fine now, Andy. I promise. That stupid chem test really had me going, that’s all.”

“Are you sure, y/n? No one was bothering you?” Andrew looked at her quickly, hesitantly turning away from her to look at the road.

“Andy, I’m okay.” She reassured her brother.

Jason wasn’t a bother.

.

.

.

Saturday morning, y/n woke up to an eerily quiet house.

A difference to the pasts months. She’d gotten used to Andrew yelling ‘GET CRUNK BONE BABES!” all over the house. Hell, their parents knew of the entire party ordeal, and were quite skeptical about it. Knowing their son, they didn’t try to stop him, they just told him time and time again to ‘be safe, Andrew.’ So many nights he had come home excited and drunk, and shown them videos on his phone of what had occurred at whoever’s house he’d been at before

Their dad, in fact, had watched the videos with amazement, and never bashed on anything other than the fact that he shouldn’t be drinking when he wasn’t the appropriate age for it yet.  Y/n and Andrew were lucky to have such laid-back and relaxed parents that focused much more on safety and well-being rather than the semantics of it.

As y/n crept down the stairs in her silky pj’s (a christmas gift from her 26-year old aunt who liked to shop at Victoria’s Secret), the murmurs of her parents in the kitchen became louder and louder.

“Heard it on the radio, for godsakes,” said her mother, laughing as she stirred whatever liquid she had in her mug.

“I wonder if Jason’s parents know, about the whole thing,” said her dad, his back was to her, facing his wife.

“They must, I mean, it’s the only thing these boy’s have wanted since they started high school, Jason proba- oh hey, y/n!” Her mom smiled wide when she saw her step off the last stair.  At the mention of his daughter’s name, her dad turns around, and y/n can see that he has a mug in his hand too.

“Good morning,” y/n croaked, her voice froggy early in the morning.

“Big day today, no?” Her dad teased.

“I guess so,” she murmured, taking a seat on the kitchen counter and drumming her knuckles on it. Her mother makes her a small plate of what was left over from their breakfast, eggs, bacon, and a slice of toast with jelly. Picking up the slice of toast, she takes a small bite out of it and pulls out her phone from her back pocket, and starts scrolling through her social medias. It consists of people’s dogs, food, photos of Brad Pitt, and....

Her brother had posted a snap from the night before. A short video, not even 3 seconds long. Jason heading into one of the rooms in his large house, with a girl trailing behind him. She wore shorts that barely covered the swell of her butt, and a bikini top. It was captioned crudely: pre-birthday head for the birthday boy.

“Y/n?”  Her dad, or maybe her mom, she didn’t know. Her stomach started twisting, a sour taste settled in the back of her mouth. A weird underwater filter covered her ears, making it seem as if her head was underneath the water, and her parents were speaking to her from above the surface.

Forcing a smile onto her face, she hummed a response, not taking her eyes off her phone screen. It was weird, the feeling that overcame her when she spotted Jason with another girl. Every time, the same thing. Nausea on her tongue, a heat covering the back of her neck and ears, and a dreadful feeling settleling in the pit of her stomach.

“So, you’re going tonight then?” One of her parents asked.

Taking a few seconds to think, taking into consideration what she could be doing instead of watching Jason....”No, I don’t think so.” Her voice is sure, and strong, loaded with finality. 

A load clink of ceramic against marble echoes in the kitchen. She looks up from her phone then, placing it on the counter face down. Her mother was staring at her with her lips pressed together in a hard line. “And why not?”

“Because a party isn’t my scene, mom.” Y/n responds tentatively, alarmed at her mothers hard and inquisitive tone. Her dad stood quietly watching the interaction, stepping to the side to that there was nothing on between y/n’s line of vision.

“And how would you know that if you’ve never been to the one. You’re brother loves them! And I think that you need this break. Andrew told me what happened yesterday. You need to let loose, y/n.” Her mother argued, her words going from agitated to coaxing. “Go to this party.”

“No.” y/n said, looking at her mother straight inn the eyes. She didn’t want to go. She wanted to spend a calm night at home,, all cozy in her blankets with a book, and not having to look at Jason with a pain in her chest.

“Fine,” said her mother, taking her phone out of her pocket.

“Thank you,” responded y/n, relieved. Her dad nodded, and opened his mouth to speak, when her mom said,

“If you don’t go, Andrew can’t either.”

Both y/n and her dad gasp. Her mom was lifting her phone up to her ear, the dial tone ringing in the room.

“N-no, you can’t do that! Andrew’s gonna be so upse-”

“Hello? Andrew? I’m doing good sweetie, uh, listen. Your sister doesn’t want to go to the party, so you can’t go either. However, if YOU MANAGE TO CONVINCE THEN YOU CAN GO,” Y/n’s mom’s voice raises to cover her brother’s protests, “THAT’S FINAL. GOODBYE.”  Yn’s mom hangs up the phone and places it next to the kitchen sink.

Not even a full second later, while y/n stares mortifies at her mom and dad, her phone starts to blare the theme song to The Simpsons, the ringtone for her brother.

She picks it up with her jaw still dropped. She answered the phone.

“Y/n! Y/n, PLEASE. WHAT’S GOING ON? PLEASE COME TO THIS PARTY, Y/N, DON’T DO THIS TO ME, Y/N...” her brother’s voice fills the room even when she doesn’t have him on speaker. he’s begging her, his voice truly distraught.

She knows she has no other option that to agree. She couldn’t do that to her brother, not when it’s the only thing he’s talked about for the past month. She wasn’t mean enough to do that to him.

“... FOR TWO WEEKS. I’LL DO ANYTHING, PLE-”

“OKAY! I’ll go, fuck,” Y/n yelled back, exasperated and defeated. She pinched the bridge of her nose, and stares down at her plate, not bearing to look at her mom and dad.

“Thank you! Oh my god, thank you. I’ll pick you up at 5, so-”

Y/n hung up on him. Glared at her mom, and the went to mope until 5 in her bedroom.

.

.

.

Somewhere along the line, moping turned into pre-party prep. She turned her speaker up all the way, and sang at the top of her lungs. Y/n was going in with the mentality of drinking and keeping to herself.  Observing, or locking herself in on of the rooms and fall asleep. She was dreading it, but wouldn’t deprive her brother of this because it meant so much to him. 

Her parents tried coming in several times, and every time she refused to open her door. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, she thought to herself, I’ve got this. 

Once it got closer to 5, she put in some jeans and her favorite t-shirt. A faded purple short-sleeve with a smokey image of Prince on it. She totally didn’t wear it because every time she wore it, Jason complimented her on it. 

It was 4:57 when Andrew knocked on her door. 

“Y/n, y/n, y/n, my sister whom I love so much, can you please-“ he’s knocking rapidly on her door, and y/n throws on a green knit sweater at last minute before opening the door, and her brother knocks right on her eye. 

“Ow!” She helps, the hand that wasn’t holding her shoulder bag reaching up to cover her eye. Andrew gasped, and started to repeatedly apologize. 

“I’m so-“

Y/n, irritated and upset, held up her palm and shook her head. “Just shut it. Please.” Andrew tried saying something, and y/n just pushed past him, staring ahead coldly, “lets go.”

Her previous attitude about this party had returned. She was mad and couldn’t be more bothered to attend. A tiny part, deep in her heart, ached and pulsed wildly. She wasn’t really sure how the night would end, and she didn’t like that. She wanted to know that by 10, she’d be falling asleep after a bubble bath, or reading a book safely in her bed. 

Not drinking and partying with nobody she knew (none of her friends-the little she had- were going). And she was damn sure that Andrew wouldn’t stick around the entire night. No, he’d be eager to be at all places at once, included in all the action. All. The. Action. 

They walked to Andrew’s car in silence, she strutting and fuming with attitude, and he, with his head bowed and cowering like a shunned puppy. Sure, he was older, bigger, taller, buffer than y/n, but when she was mad, he became a scurrying mouse who bent at her command. Not because she was mean or anything like that, but because Andrew loved her and he wanted to see her with a smile, and he figured listening to her was the first step. 

So, he shut the fuck up, and followed behind her, listening closely in case she ordered something else.  To clarify, y/n didn’t order. She said things. But Andrew (again) loved her and took those sayings very seriously. It wasn’t like she was the Wicked Witch of the West with a whip in her hand. It was more like she was a disappointed mother, and he her kid who loved his mom and didn’t want her to be upset at him anymore. Their dynamic was like that. 

Not even a full 10 minutes later, Andrew was pulling into Jason’s driveway, and pulling into his six-car garage, next to Kent’s car. Pulling the key out of the ignition, he sat for a moment, not turning to look at his sister. 

He didn’t have to. 

Without glancing at him, she said, “I want a margarita... please.” Then, she turn to look at him with a tiny smile; a piece offering. She’s forgiven him. And she has. Well, she wasn’t angry at him to begin with, but her irritation is gone.

Andrew laughed, his head thrown back and his ha, ha, ha’s bellowing. “Yes, ma’am. Strawberry or Mango?”

“Both.” Y/n opens the door to the car, and walks through the garage door that leads to the house. The doorway opens into the kitchen, where Kent and Jason are seated on the kitchen isle, a blunt mid-pass from Jason to Kent.

She stops in her tracks, eyes wide at the smell, and the smoke exiting in grey ropes out of Jason’s lips. Andrew pushes past her like nothing, and opens the steel fridge to look for fruit. Jason grins, a slow and lazy spread of his spit-slicked lips. Kent coughs after he inhales.

“Hellooo y/n,” Jason sing-song’s, drawing out her name and laughing. Kent snickered.

“Long time to,” Kent makes a c-shape with his hand, “see,” and bursts out laughing.

“Gimme some of that, dickheads.” Andrew makes a ‘come here’ motion with his fingers.

Y/n fakes a gasp, and hoists herself up onto the counter. She’s been surprised, and a tiny part of her itches because marijuana is a drug, but she can’t really do anything to stop them. They’re half gone and if she said something, she was a party pooper. Tucking her legs underneath herself, she takes a long look at Jason’s kitchen. She’s been in it plenty of times before, when his mom invites her and her brother other for dinner, or breakfast. She’s even helped prepare meals.

But it never gets old.

It always look bright, the lights on the ceiling shine in a way that fills the space, and the reflection off the cream marble glint against the steely surfaces of all the appliances. Toaster, fridge, sink, stove, all a grey color. There was an oven built into the wall, and another right next to it to cook pizza or bread. The kitchen isle in the middle was 7 steps long (she counted once) and 4 steps wide. There was a stove on the counter, and a sink next to it. Jason sat next to the stove, and Kent in the alcove that stretched and transformed into the sink up against the wall.

“... bringing booze and 6, and says he’s got Snopp Dog as DJ. Ben is on back up DJ, or alternate if Snopp wants to.” Kent says, coughing and waving a hand in front of his hand as he does so. Y/n’s ears perk up at his revelation, and her head turns in a peculiar motion.

“Wait, wait, did you say Snoop Dog?” She says, the top half of her body leaning forward. Andrew looks up from his task at the blender, dunking in cut strawberries with ice.

“You heard right, sissy. Snoop Dog!” whooped Andrew, pumping his arm in the air.

“Jesus Christ,” Y/n murmured underneath her breath, shaking her head.

“Raise your hand if you’re staying to fix this place up tomorrow,” said Jason, lifting both of his arms up in the air.

Kent crosses his arms as if he were in a straight jacket, and Andrew laughs and says, “Jason the party keeps going tomorrow.” He presses a button, and the machine starts blending, the loud noise blocking out whatever Jason said next. Whatever it is, Andrew and Kent catch it and bend over laughing, while y/n just watched in confusion.

Once the machine stops, Andrew pours the thick, pink substance into a sugar-rimmed glass, and gives it to his sister. Y/n takes it from him, and looks over at all the ingredients next to the machine because she hadn’t seen what kind of alcohol he put in it. She sees a squat bottle with a green sticker and a cork top; Ciroq.

It’s when she’s puckering her face after her first sip, that the first group of people come in. Andrew and Kent spring forward to answer the door, and Jason just watched them push each other to see who would get there first. Her and Jason are alone in the kitchen, and even though she sees perfectly clear where Kent and Andrew are, she seizes this as her chance to ask Jason what may be her only chance for a stress free night.

Climbing down, she walks over to where Jason sits,and poked his jean clad thigh. “Jason?” She tries not to let her eyes linger on the spots where his plain white shirt pulls tight across his chest, his pectoral muscles rippling. His blonde hair is unruly today, parting down the middle so strands of hair glittered in front of his green eyes.

“Mmm-oh! Yes?” He said, his eyes blinking owlishly at her, slow reflexes when you’re high and all that.

“Is it okay if I lock myself in your room? Or a guest room? Please, I just d-” she started to explain herself when he interrupted her.

“Yes.” Jason placed his hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner, his eyelids drooping a little further than they already were.

“Yes?” She asked, surprised.

“Yes. Si. Oui. Andrew told me what your mom did. And I’m sorry. You can lock yourself in my room. I’m the only one with the key.” He said. Jason stretched, yawning and raising his hands over his head, the bottom of his shirt raising up and revealing the hard lines of his abdomen, the two lines that form a ‘v’; a make shift runway to what lies underneath the waistband of his pants. Y/n, having seen only one other penis, a leaked celebrity’s nudes, is surprised to see that Jason’s doesn’t have a ‘happy trail’.

Clearing her throat, she said, “Thank you. I’m going up there now, okay?” Y/n backed out of the kitchen, Jason’s nodding at her and turning his attention, and what a surprise this is, the blondes that had just walked in with a few dudes who carried packs of beers in their arms. The girls, five of them, all looked like barbie dolls in bikinis.

Rolling her eyes, y/n trudged up the stairs and walked down the hall to Jason’s all-to familiar room. She entered again, into the place she had mulled over many nights in a row.

Jason’s room would be her sanctuary, like it had been that one rainy spring day.

It was just like she remembered it.

For a teenage boy, Jason was very neat. He had a bamboo four poster bed, with Japanese art covering the space above his puffed-up white pillows. His comforter was the same eggshell color of his walls. In front of his bed he had a record player, and a wooden box with records in it. He had a mahogany bookshelf as well, every crevice stacked with books, straight across, and sideways in the spaces between books and the self above it. His room faced the backyard, and y/n had a clear view of the pool and the people that gathered around it. Jason had a window ledge large enough that he could sleep in it comfortably, and judging by the looks of it, he had. There was a tartan quilt and quilt laid out messily on the expanse of it, a book titled Norwegian Wood open with the pages-side down next to the pillow.

His room smelled like him too. No clothes lay scattered in any place, but his scent permeated the room. Sandalwood and vanilla; his musky and sweet scent of boy.

Y/n kicked off her shoes at the foot of Jason’s bed, and set her barely-even-touched margarita on his bedside table, next to a pair of clear lens glasses. That’s funny, she thought, I didn’t know Jason wore glasses.

She tucked herself into his bed, lifting the comforter out of its tucked position, and nestled tightly into the warm cocoon. Taking a deep breath or Jason, her eyes shut themselves, and snapped back open seconds later. Did I lock the door?

Fuck. No, she didn’t. She had to get back up and lock it. Jiggled the knob for extra measure, just to make sure it was locked.  Once she was satisfied,she returned to the bed, and tucked herself in. Her eyes were closing once again, when the thrum of the bass in whatever rap song it was blaring the house, shook through Jason’s room.

No matter. She was out like a light not even 5 minutes later, Lulled to sleep by the smell of Jason.

.

.

.

Jason, Kent, and Andrew were having the time of their fucking lives.

Andrew had forgotten all about y/n after Jason told him she was in his room, and had downed a total of 6 body shots, all on different people. He lost track of how many people took shots on him. Cloud nine, this is what cloud nine is. He was everywhere and nowhere. Try looking for him and you’ll only catch his shirt-tail because he was already moving on to the next scene. If you saw a flipped red solo cup, then he had been there. He was absolutely reveling in the mass of sweating bodies. His yelling inn the cafeteria had paid off.

Everyone and their fucking mom came. He’d seen everyone he knew from school, and twice the amount of people he knew from school that he didn’t recognize. True to his word, his friend had brought Snoop fucking Dog, and he was up by the pool, dj-ing with five towering giants surrounding him. This only brought more attention. The party had spread out to the streets.

Kent was out of his mind, with how high he was. Don’t tell his mom, but he didn’t know what drug it was making it look like the guy passing the blunt had an elephant head. The lights made him feel like he was in a galaxy, sitting on the rings of Saturn with two topless babes under his arms. He sat with a ring of boys in the den, where you couldn’t see past your nose with how much smoke there was in the air.

And Jason? Shit, Jason was having a really hard time getting his dick up. He was in the pool with more than TWENTY topless babes he was supposed to be boning. It was his birthday after all. Andrew had posted a sign on the shallow end of the pool that said ‘only naked babes allowed’, and would appear every five seconds to remind said ‘babes’ to “TAKE YOUR TOP OFF!!!”

No matter how hard he tried, Jason just couldn’t get hard. The girl who pressed her tits in his face- a real 10 really, with bee stung lips and all- was starting to get confused, and Jason was starting to feel like a real tool.

There he was, his party was crazy, police having been chased off, a racoon being passed around on a leash, Snoop Dog having a literal concert inn his backyard, and far off in the distance there was the shinning light of a news helicopter. And he wasn’t having it.

He did for the first hour. Did some shots, smoked more weed, grinded on some people, got grinded on. Someone had inflated a whole-ass bouncy castle next to his garage, and it was filled with nothing but naked girls (which also did nothing for him). And it was fun seeing it build up. It gave him a bit of a heady adrenaline rush, knowing that ll these people where there because-

“So are you gonna let me give the birthday boy, his birthday present?” said the girl who was topless on his lap, her voice sultry and velvety smooth. She was licking a stripe up Jason’s throat, her hips swiveling against his groin.

Jason, still wearing his clothes, jeans and white shirt and all, looked up at his bedroom window, and what he saw made his heart crack in two. Y/n, his precious y/n, was looking at him with horror, tears painting her cheeks not unlike the way they had yesterday in the hallway, and a hand cupped over her mouth. The other hand was lifted up to her ear, and Jason saw that her mouth was moving.

She was on the phone.

He started to feel dirty, like slime. Guilty, was more like it. He realized then that the reason why he couldn’t get hard is because the girl in his lap wasn’t y/n. And seeing her, in his room all alone and in pain, made him feel like scum.

Pushing the girl off without remorse, he said, “No, I don’t think so.” He ignored the girl’s protests, and also whatever the hell Andrew yelled after him. Jason looked straight ahead, striding with intention to his room. It was difficult, with all the bodies and high-fives and bro-slaps he had to give on his way up the stairs, but he made it. He was dripping all over his floor, but he made it.

He hesitated, placing a hand on the door. As the bass of This is How We Do It vibrated through the wall and against his hand, he wondered what would happen when he opened the door. He wanted to console her. Ask her what was wrong, even though he had a large inkling he knew why she was upset- that it might’ve been his fault.

Jason dug his hand into his pocket, using his fingers to peel apart the cloth because it stuck together, and felt for the key to his room. Once he found it, he fed it through the lock, and turned it, the door giving away a sliver to which he was able to peek inside.

Y/n was on the phone. She was sitting at his window ledge, on her knees, still looking out. She hadn’t heard him coming in. Shutting the door closed behind him, Jason held his breath and listened.

“Am I an idiot?” she squeaked, sniffling to the other person on the line. “Why? Well, isn’t it clear. Donna, he’s constantly surrounded by all these skinny, tall blondes, and I’m not like that.”

Jason’s eyes widened. His heart felt as if an arrow had been shot through it.

“I’m so stupid, really. How could I ever think-”

Yes, yes?

“-that Jason could like me?”

He was appalled. Frozen in his tracks, because god did she really think like that? How could she not realize it. She was so precious; all Jason ever though about. If only she knew. If only she knew-

Well, the thing is- and it might be the weed talking, but- she could know. Jason didn’t have to keep it from her anymore. He could tell her. Fuck it. Fuck it all.

“Y/n?” He said. Clearly, not loud enough because she didn’t turn around. He walked to her, close enough that his knees pressed against the ledge of the window seat, and close enough so that he could grab her wrist.

She yelped, surprised, and whipped her head around. When she saw it was Jason, even though he was smiling a dopey, sweet smile that made her want to fall into a puddle, her face fell into one of mortification. He took the phone from her hand and hung up, tossing it on the pillow.

 “Oh, y/n.”

“Jason, I-” Her cheeks flushed. Her words died in her throat, her tears frozen on her lips.

“I like you, y/n. More than you know.” And his clothes were wet sure, but it didn’t matter because fuck. Fuck it all. Jason pulled her up, wrapped a hand around her waist, and kissed her.

A soft, gentle, press of his lips against hers, their noses bumping. She squeaked and tensed, her fingers squeezing his biceps. His thumb rubbed circled to the sliver of skin that peeked from the place where her shirt rode up.

He pulled away from her, and she leaned forward with her own lips puckered, whining because he pulled away.

“I’ve been wanting to do that, for so long, you know?” He told her, placing her back down on the ledge, while she stared back up at him dreamily.

“Why didn’t you?” she asked him.

“Because Andrew would beat me to a pulp,” he said, laughing. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.” Jason reached for the bottom of his shirt, and pulled it over his head, y/n watching with cheeks flaming at the way his skin rippled and tightened with every movement. After a beat she says,

“Why’s that?”

“Because I’d rather get beaten to a pulp, than be away from you any longer.”

super proud of this. THERE WILL BE A PART 2!!

much love, -abigail

[styw]

Love, PCY

Park Chanyeol who? I only know Bang Chanyeol.

Bep. Bep. Bep. 

Hearing the doorbell ringing three times was enough for Jisoo to rise up from her slumber and wonder while she wears the nearest hoodie she could grasp. As far as she recalls, Jennie called her yesterday to tell her that she would be arriving today at eight in the morning, but right now, when Jisoo checks her phone as she walks closer to the door, it is, in fact, six in the morning, so who could it be?

Jisoo sighs from the thought, growing confused and confused as she opens the door only to find a colored white envelope with a flower, more specifically, a rose attached to it. 

The raven-haired woman blinked.Not again. She thought as she bent down to pick it with her hand. She has been getting love letters these past months, but with a flower attached to it? That's a first. 

No one has ever given her flowers, more specifically a rose, which is her favorite flower. Not even Jinyoung from Class C, who asked her to be his prom date last year, nor from anyone during Valentine's day. And even if someone dares to give her a flower, they would always avoid the rose as their reason would always be; a rose is an overrated flower.

And receiving a rose, especially from a secret admirer, intrigues Jisoo, but at the same time, it makes her wonder in circles.

How did they know she adores roses? 

The brunette shakes her thoughts away. It could be a coincidence, that maybe this secret admirer of hers also admires roses just like her and just sent her one for fun. 

Jisoo sighs at the thought before she detaches the envelope.

Hi Soo :>

I've been noticing lately that you seem troubled and down. I know it's going to be stupid of me to ask, but are you okay? I know it must be tough, but I believe that you can surpass that. 

Anyways! I heard you got a quiz today, I'm sure you're going to be fine. You've worked hard on it, and hard work never betrays.

Bye! :>

Ps. I've heard you adore roses, so I hope this rose will give you happy luck :P

Love, PCY

Jisoo blinks and if someone ever saw her at this moment, she would look like an idiotic gaping fish. The raven quickly stuffed the letter into her hoodie pocket, peeking her head around the doorframe to check for any crumb traces of her secret admirer from left to right. Unfortunately, the raven doesn't find any, and so she sends a quick text to none other than her roommate slash best friend, Jennie.

Code: You better hide your girlfriend and yourself or else I'll have to whop both of your asses back to New Zealand for selling me out!

///

"Look, for the last time. I told you, It's not me. " Jennie says, rolling her eyes at her best friend's sudden accusation.

Jisoo huffs, throws her back at her seat, and crosses her arms, "Then who?"

"I don't know, okay? But one thing for sure is I didn't sell you out. And also, why would I even do that? It's not like the fact that you liked Roses would create a sudden miracle like it'll fix the Global Warming problems or something. " The brunette murmurs, taking a bite on her chicken salad.

"Good point." Jisoo says, before she turns her head at the other figure, who is surprisingly eating her food quietly.

Lisa, who noticed the raven-haired girl's sudden look. She scrunched her nose in confusion before she locked her eyes at the raven, "What?"

"How about you Lis? Would you sell me out for free cat food?"

"...Is that a trick question?"

"No,"

"...If it means raising my babies, then I would not hesitate."

"So it was you!" Jisoo whispered loudly enough for the three to hear, squinting her eyes in suspicion at Lisa.

"What!" Lisa widens her eyes before she furrows both of her eyebrows as she turns her head at her girlfriend for help, but her girlfriend, Jennie, shrugs it off as she continues to eat her chicken salad like there is no scene in front of her.

Lisa could only blink helplessly at her girlfriend before she glanced back at the accuser, "Look, It's not me. No one has made an offer to me like that."

"But you would sell me out if someone offered you that offer."

"I would... but! The most important thing is I didn't sell you out, so..." Lisa shifts her eyes, praying the accuser's eyes would leave her alone.

Seeing the uneasiness of her friend, Jisoo sighs guilty as she throws her back on her seat in defeat before muttering a sincere apology to her friends.

Just how the hell did her secret admirer know about her admiration for the roses?

"Anyway, if they knew about your favorite, that would probably mean they are stalking you or perhaps, it's just someone who happens to know about it." Jennie says, bringing back Jisoo to reality.

"Probably." Lisa agrees, cutting her lasagna in half and placing the other half on Jisoo's plate.

It's true that her secret admirer could be a stalker because she hasn't mentioned to anyone that she adores roses except her best friends, but if her secret admirer is a stalker, how did they know she adores roses when she hasn't given any hints or been subtle about it? Are they watching her? That's kind of creepy...

Before Jisoo knew, she was already sighing and rubbing her forehead in confusion unconsciously and that didn't go unnoticed by her two friends who glanced at each other helplessly.

"Didn't you say about their initials? Maybe we can help you by starting to find out with someone with the same initials as them." Jennie offers, tapping her friend's arm.

"Yeah, maybe we can." Lisa joins.

Jisoo purses her lips, looking at her two friends' eyes before she thinks about the letter.

"I think it was PCY or something-"

Before Jisoo could speak anything further, she was cut off by a continuous choking sound from the opposite seat. Jennie, who was beside Lisa, looked alarmed, and tried to pat the Thai's back, hardly enough for Lisa to come back from her normal state.

"Eat slowly, you idiot!" Jisoo hisses, offering Lisa a water, who immediately takes it without hesitation.

"...Thank you for pulling my leg from Heaven," Lisa says, panting as she offers a peace sign at the two before faking a cough, "Anyway, continue."

"Eat slowly next time, you idiot."

"Yes ma'am!"

Jennie sighs at the silliness of her girlfriend before turning her head at Jisoo, who's eyes lingered on Lisa and fakes a cough to earn the attention of her friend.

"Anyway, as far as I can remember, there is only one person who owns that initial."

Surprised by the new found information, Jisoo widens her eyes as her eyes start to twinkle in hope like the stars that can be seen in the night.

"Really?"

"Man, you really need to step out from your cave." Lisa comments, reaching out her fork to the raven's plate for the chicken nuggets.

Jisoo rolls her eyes at the Thai before she focuses her eyes at the owner of the feline eyes whose lips are sealed.

"Who?"

"Before I answer, I have a question. What are you going to do after you find out who's behind the letter?"

Jisoo gives a narrow look at the brunette before it turns to try to identify what is behind those feline eyes. That was probably the stupidest question she had ever gotten from Jennie, because it was really obvious what she was about to do, but she was going to stop herself from actually voicing it out. It looked like Jennie was serious enough about the question, so Jisoo is going to give a serious answer to her best friend.

"You both knew that I fancied Roseanne from the beginning and also, it wouldn't be fair for them to lead them to an idea that I have reciprocated their feelings, so I want to reject them properly before it gets out of hand." 

If there is one thing anyone should know about Jisoo, it would be that Jisoo's mouth forms words faster than her brain. It was true though. What she said to Jennie was completely pure honesty.

Jisoo was in love with Roseanne and has been pursuing the strawberry blonde since they were in kindergarten. Despite the fact that Roseanne had shown no signs of reciprocating Jisoo's feelings over the years, the raven haired was hurt, but she wasn't giving up on Roseanne. And it is one of Jisoo's principles to never entertain anyone, even if it's a chicken in the form of a human when she's pursuing the woman she loves. 

"Don't worry, Chu. You and my step-sister already got my blessings." Lisa teased, enjoying the flustered side of Jisoo.

"Shut up." Jisoo hisses, trying to look away to prevent her friends from seeing her pink tainted cheeks.

Jennie knew it was a stupid question to ask, but she only smiled because she was pleased with the raven-haired's perseverance in pursuing her Aussie friend slash co-captain.

"Anyway, Park Chanyeol is the captain of the soccer team. If you want, I can ask him to meet you after practice." Jisoo gave a puzzled look at Jennie.

"Chanyeol? I thought that guy was a Bang." Lisa laughs.

"Bang Chan and Park Chanyeol are two different people, Chu."

"Oh,"

. . .

"Oh!"

And that's how Jisoo ended up standing alone beside the bench. She was uneasy about the stares she was getting from everyone, but she held her ground tightly and hoped that Chanyeol would just show up now.

Today was the day. The day Jisoo is going to end it all.

If Jisoo was any other girl, Chanyeol would definitely be the man of her dreams. Chanyeol was a nice guy, despite the stereotypes of the jocks Jisoo sees in the books, he was not like that. He was, in fact, the opposite. He was nice, rich, and handsome. In short, he was every woman's standard, but Jisoo wasn't any other girl. It may be an advance thinking, but Jisoo couldn't just imagine herself to be in that man's arms. 

She couldn't see a future where Chanyeol was her spouse.

"Jisoo?" Hearing a familiar feminine voice was enough for Jisoo to bring herself to reality. Turning her heels, Jisoo's eyes immediately locked with the owner of the voice, the head cheerleader, Park Roseanne.

"Rosie." Jisoo says, shrinking from her position and flashing a smile that she hopes isn't idiotic or awkward, but that was probably the most awkward and idiotic smile she's ever plastered, given that her facial expression will always betray her brain.

Great. Another embarrassing moment to recall before falling asleep. Just great. 

Her cheeks burning more in embarrassment, Jisoo bit down her lower lip to suppress her embarrassment and looked up when she heard a cute giggle coming from Rosé.

Did Rosé just laugh? Her ears must be playing with her imagination, but Jisoo has come to the conclusion that it wasn't an imagination when she sees Roseanne trying to hide her smile with the back of her hand. Just how could anyone be this gorgeous?

"Sorry, it's just you're adorable," Roseanne says, biting her lower lip to keep her smile from turning into laughter.

Not having a comeback to that, Jisoo didn't speak any further, and just sealed her lips as she had no trust in her lips. If God isn't going to save her from embarrassment and looking like an idiotic woman to her future wife, then she must step up and do the deed.

Roseanne fakes a cough to ease the tension between them after receiving no response from the raven-haired.

"So what made you come here? If you're looking for Jennie, I think she left with my sister a while ago."

"Oh, I'm not actually here for Jen... I'm here for someone." Roseanne's gaze narrowed at the raven-haired.

"Who?"

The raven-haired woman opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a baritone voice behind their back.

"Hey Kim, you were looking for me?"

Immediately turning both of their heels, Jisoo’s eyes were still lingering on Roseanne even though her body was facing Chanyeol. She couldn't help, but catch a glimpse of disappointment in Roseanne's facial features. Although she is perplexed as to why, the raven haired girl did not dare to ask any questions as she locked her gaze on Chanyeol.

"Well, looks like that's my cue to leave now. Bye Park. Bye Soo." And with that, before Jisoo could bid her goodbyes to the cheerleader, the cheerleader was swift enough to disappear like dust blown by the wind.

Chanyeol furrows both of his eyebrows from that, confused by the slight change of tone of the cheerleader, and glances up at Jisoo, who had a longing look at where the cheerleader disappeared to.

Clearly, there is something weird going on, but Chanyeol decides to shrug it off. Thinking it was none of his business. He snaps a finger in front of Jisoo and from that, Jisoo is immediately brought back to reality. She muttered a small apology at the soccer captain right away.

"It's alright, Kim. Anyway, Jennie told me you were asking for me. What's up?" He asks, innocently smiling.

Chanyeol could tell the raven-haired woman in front of him was hesitant and uneasy where she was standing just by looking at her, but Chanyeol didn't say anything as he patiently waited. It must be that kind of serious for Kim to be this way.

The raven took something from her pocket and once she grasped it, she hesitantly stuck it out for Chanyeol to look at and accept. 

The soccer captain took it, though he was perplexed by what the raven-haired woman gave to him. His gaze lingered on the letter, still perplexed, and in the hope of finding answers, he returned his gaze to the raven haired, only to find Jisoo looking at him apologetically. No one dared to speak between them and just when Chanyeol was about to speak, Jisoo beat him to it.

"Look, Chanyeol... If I was any other girl or any person, I would really accept your confession. You're great and all, but I-"

Jisoo was still speaking, but the soccer captain didn't hear any words escaping from her lips as he focused on himself, trying to process everything that the raven haired had spoken to him. 

"Hold on, hold on, hold on," Chanyeol chants, cutting Jisoo off, "You think this is me?" He says, pointing at himself, then at the letter back and forth. He looked at Jisoo in bewilderment.

"Who else?" Chanyeol laughs awkwardly, blinking rapidly; a habit he does when he doesn't know what to do or respond.

"Look... dude, I like you, but as friends. And this? I didn't write this. Though, I really think you got the wrong person." He says, explaining from one to ten to the raven haired.

As Chanyeol ran his mouth to speak, the raven haired was the opposite. She was quiet as she processed everything the soccer captain had said to her.

"So you're saying that you're not the person behind the letter?"

"Yes!" Chanyeol yells, his eyes bright, but falters when he leans forward to whisper. Jisoo didn't move as she freely let Chanyeol do his thing.

"I mean, I thought the word had spread that I'm dating Baekhyun?" He whispered.

Surprised, Jisoo blinks at the newfound formation from the soccer captain, but at the same time, embarrassment starts to crawl up from her toes up to her spine when realization hit her like a bus.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I thought you were them!" Jisoo says, wishing the ground would just eat her alive in an instant. 

"It's okay, man. I mean, if I were in your shoes, I'd suspect myself because a secret admirer of yours has the same initials as mine." Chanyeol chuckles, trying to ease the embarrassment, but it looked like the embarrassment was too big for Chanyeol to ease.

The raven haired was still muttering endless apologies and it looked like she didn't have any plans to stop. Thankfully, Chanyeol actually stopped her on her ninth apology with a reassuring smile.

"Really, it's okay Kim. Let's just pretend we didn't meet today, alright?"

Jisoo nodded, still wishing the ground would eat her alive. Although she appreciated the soccer captain's efforts to alleviate her embarrassment, it wasn't enough; after all, who wouldn't be dying of embarrassment if they were mistaken for their secret admirer? If asked, Jisoo would fight anyone to say it isn't that embarrassing.

Before Jisoo could actually drown herself with thoughts, a soft anime song echoed between them and, from the looks of it, it came from Chanyeol's pocket.

"Crap! I forgot I was gonna have a study session in the library with Hyun! I should go now Kim. See you around!" Patting Jisoo's shoulder, the soccer captain didn't waste a second as he sprinted off to meet his boyfriend, leaving Jisoo alone standing to rethink her choices in life.

This secret admirer of her has been driving her nuts, making her walk circles, and Jisoo could only sigh in frustration before she rubbed her forehead. 

If it's not Chanyeol, then who?

///

Jisoo woke up frowning when she felt like a nail drilling slowly into her head, slowly torturing her brain. Where was she again? Oh right, she was at Lisa’s house along with Jennie. Just what came into her mind to come along with Jennie into Lisa's house with a bottle of wine? As she sat up with a groan, the raven-haired woman is slowly regretting her decision.

Hearing a soft groan at her side, Jisoo turned her head only to find out Jennie was still in her slumber. Like a burrito, the feline eye tightly held the pillow as she snuggled closer to it. Jisoo could only chuckle at the sight before she felt the nail drilling continuously on her head again.

She needs a hangover soup and medicine to ease her throbbing head. Call her overreacting, but Jisoo might actually die from the throbbing pain she feels in her head. Curse you Dionysus!

As a result, the raven-haired woman moved, sauntering her way downstairs. The scent of something good was the first thing she smelt, so she walked faster, hoping Lisa would immediately feed her with soup, and peek her head right through the door frame.

When she did, Jisoo could only purse her lips and blink at the two figures standing in the kitchen.

It was Lisa and Roseanne together in the kitchen.

It looked like the two of them were talking about something serious and Jisoo, who respected privacy, attempted to walk away, but before she could fully walk away. She freezes in her position, widening her eyes when she spots Hank, Roseanne's dog not so far away from them.

Based on the interactions she had with Hank every time she visited Lisa along with Jennie. Hank was a very energetic dog, but only to people he found comfortable with. And it looked like Jisoo's luck ran out in time when she noticed Hank's ears starting to perk up, his eyes starting to light up like fire when he spotted one of the humans he finds comfortable with. 

To Jisoo's horror, Hank immediately ran up to her arms, and just when Hank was about to bark and lick Jisoo's cheeks. The raven swiftly reaches out her hand up to his mouth to shut him off. Just when will the Gods bless Jisoo with good luck?

"So where were you? I didn't know you're into getting up early in the morning now," Lisa asks, the sizzling noise still present, but Jisoo could just hear them fine.

"I... Uhm, I had an errand to do before class, so yeah,"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

There was a brief silence for a while and even though Jisoo didn't actually witness them physically talking, she could already tell Roseanne was kind of anxious, uneasy, but Lisa, on the other hand, was calm as she spoke. Different from Roseanne's odd behaviour.

And just when Jisoo was about to step up and interrupt the conversation to save the love of her life from spilling where she came from, Lisa blurted out her question that made Jisoo and Roseanne caught off guard at the same time.

"Do you have a crush on her?" 

It was just a sentence, but that sentence was enough for Jisoo's heart to pound like a speaker at full volume, blasting like there is no tomorrow around the neighbourhood. Although the raven haired was anticipating the strawberry blonde's response, she felt as if her heart was being pinched with pliers while she waited. It's not going to be her, isn't it?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lis."

"Oh, come on! I know you're behind those letters, Chaeyoung." Jisoo could only furrow her eyebrows in puzzlement at the name Lisa called her step-sister.

"I... I don't know what letters you are talking about." 

"Right. I totally didn't see your ears go red just now. Seriously, just admit that you have a big fat crush on her, you dummy."

Roseanne responds with a nervous laugh, opening her mouth to speak another lie, but stopped mid-way when Lisa locked her eyes with her. The Thai's eyes practically scream that if she's going to throw a half-baked lie at Lisa, she's throwing the strawberry blonde's ass back to Melbourne, Australia.

"Alright, fine! I have a crush on Jisoo!" Roseanne hisses, sounding a little bit annoyed at what she has admitted, but her expression totally betrayed her as she felt her blood crawling up to her cheeks, making her look like a tomato ready for ripping.

"See? It's not that bad to admit that you like Jisoo." Jisoo could practically hear Lisa smirking.

"You better not tell her or else,." Lisa laughs at the threat.

"Alright, okay."

"And also, how did you even find out?"

"That is a very dumb question coming from a genius like you, Park Chaeyoung."

"Nevermind."

Jisoo could hear Lisa laugh once again, "Wake up Jennie for me, okay? Don't forget your girlfriend as well."

"Ugh, shut up." Roseanne hisses softly, blushing at the Thai's teasing.

As the footsteps start to fade from the background. Jisoo doesn't hear anything further aside from the sizzling sound that was made. And before the raven-haired could realize it, Hank took advantage of the opportunity to summon all of his strength and break free from her embrace.

Jisoo cursed under her breath as she tries to get Hank back into her arms, but unfortunately fails as Hank makes his way to the stairs as he wags his tail, and Jisoo guesses he’s probably going to crawl back into Roseanne’s arms upstairs.

"My, I didn't know you were the type to eavesdrop, Chu."

Jisoo yelped, like a kid caught red-handed, Jisoo widens her eyes caught in action as she helplessly looks up from the floor only to meet Lisa's teasing eyes.

No words escaped the raven's mouth, so she remained silent, and Lisa took advantage of the opportunity to continue with her teasing smile growing with each passing second.

"So, is it safe for me to assume that you have found out who's behind the letter?"

///

Jisoo woke up staring at her ceiling. There was nothing interesting happening in the ceiling, but somehow Jisoo finds the entertainment of staring at the ceiling as thoughts run through her mind.

It's not an everyday scene to find out your secret admirer is actually the person you have been crushing on since kindergarten, so Jisoo took her time to stare at the ceiling. Processing every detail that happened yesterday.

How the hell did she not notice it before? More importantly, just how the heck did she forget that the strawberry blonde has a Korean name? Sure, she had heard Lisa mentioning that name before, although the raven haired didn't know where and when, but Jisoo was really clueless and thought Roseanne and Chaeyoung were two different people. Oh god, she was so stupid that she didn’t realize Roseanne and Chaeyoung were one person.

Jisoo sighed before she hid her face under the pillow, screaming in embarrassment before it turned into giggles and squeals.

Roseanne likes her.

Chaeyoung likes her.

Now she has found out that her crush also felt the same. Just how the heck is she going to normally face Chaeyoung now? More importantly, how is she going to catch Chaeyoung red-handed?

/// 

The next morning, Jisoo simply woke up to another letter in her locker. This time, there were no flowers, but the letter was enough for Jisoo to brighten up her day, brighter than the sun. 

The letter was nothing special, but the words that Chaeyoung sincerely wrote for Jisoo were enough to make the raven haired girl's heart race erratically at the thought of the blonde.

"Man, my sister's effect must be that bad to immediately put a smile on your face after Dalgom ate your chicken like a while ago." Jisoo laughs, rolling her eyes as she does.

"Oh shut up, Lis." Lisa snickered before widening her eyes for a split second and pulling out her phone.

"Oh right, can we switch places tonight? I have a surprise for Jennie, and I kind of need you to get out of the dorm." 

"Please don't do it in my bedroom." Feeling a fresh sharp pain in her shoulder, Jisoo whines as she glares at Lisa, who only blushed.

"I’m telling Rosie that you’re hurting me physically." Jisoo threatens, pouting as she rubs at where Lisa struck her.

"W-We're not doing that you idiot! I just want to spend some alone time with my girlfriend." Jisoo snorts at that before she recalls the memory of one time she walked in to them having an intimate moment on the couch.

Although she feels bad for teasing, Jisoo just couldn't let the teasing chance pass through. She scarcely had any comeback to throw at them during the teasing war, so now she's had it. She's not going to hold it back.

"Okay, fine, but just make sure you guys feed Dalgom there, alright." 

"Great! You can stay with my sister tonight."

Jisoo widens her eyes at that, "What? No!"

"Oh come on, Chu. You're not going to avoid my sister forever. And also, don't act like I didn't catch you smiling at the letters. You guys totally need to talk." Lisa says with a smirk on her lips.

"And also, don't worry about food. Chaeyoung is a great cook, I'm sure she's going to fill your stomach." And before Jisoo could utter a word, Lisa winked at her before sprinting away.

Did Lisa just set her up on a date with her sister at their own house?

///

"Here you go, Princess." Jisoo beamed, pride evident in her voice as Chaeyoung softly laughed at the content that Jisoo had presented to her.

"I made you the finest bowl of Fruit Loops that I could find in your cupboard." She said, which made Chaeyoung snicker, hiding the laugh beneath her lips.

"How did you even find this? I didn't even know we had one of these." She says, glancing at the Fruit Loops, then turns her gaze at the proud eyes owned by the raven.

"Well, I have my ways." Jisoo says, confidently, and flips her hair as she does. Chaeyoung scoffed at that, her lips curling into a smile afterwards.

"Idiot." She whispered under her breath.

Jisoo only flashed a lopsided grin before she sat opposite where Chaeyoung sat. The raven didn't really remember how both of them ended up having Fruit Loops as their dinner for the evening, but from the looks of it. It looked like Chaeyoung seemed to like it. She even offered a bite to Jisoo, which doesn’t make sense, because they’re both eating fruit loops, but Jisoo accepted heartedly, and blushed when realization hit her afterwards.

That was an indirect kiss, wasn't it...

Jisoo knew she wasn't supposed to make a big deal out of this, but she couldn't help it. It seemed like the blonde didn't notice and was even confused when her eyes landed on the blushing raven.

"What's wrong?" She asks, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"N-nothing..." Jisoo replies, looking away to prevent being seen with blushing cheeks.

Chaeyoung knew it wasn't just something, but when she glanced down at her spoon then at Jisoo back and forth. She widened her eyes for a split second before she turned to look at the raven who had been blushing.

"Oh..." The blonde muttered, smiling as she looked away.

There was a brief silence between them until Jisoo decided to break the cold ice with a fake cough. Being silent won’t get them anywhere, so she starts.

"I don't think Lisa is coming home this evening." She says, trying to lock her eyes with the blonde to ease the tension between them.

"Yeah."

"When will Mrs. Manoban and Mr. Manoban come home? It's been a long time since I last saw them." It was out of the blue, but that was the only thing Jisoo had in her mind to blurt out.

"I think Mom and Dad will be back around July? I don't actually know. They often change it. They miss you, ya know." Jisoo blushes at that, fluttering.

"Well, tell them next time that I miss them too." Jisoo beams, giggling as she does. Chaeyoung does the same, taking a bite of her Fruit Loops.

"How was your day, Soo?" She asks and, without hesitation, Jisoo immediately tells her what had happened during the history class, making Chaeyoung burst into soft laughter after learning Lisa fell down all of a sudden on her seat.

"So that's why she was whining about it and asking me to massage her back." Jisoo hummed at that, her smile still present.

"Your sister is kind of clumsy. She takes after you."

"Hey! I'm not clumsy," Jisoo laughs at that.

"Yeah sure, Princess."

"I'm really not!" Chaeyoung narrowed her eyes at the raven.

For a split second, if Jisoo didn't know Chaeyoung better, she would have thought Chaeyoung was annoyed by her, but when she saw the smile crawling into the blonde's plump lips, Jisoo knew it was nothing serious.

"How was your day?" Jisoo inquires, her gaze still locked on the blonde's.

"Nothing is interesting in my day, Soo."

"Well, I am, so come on. Tell me your day, clumsy dude." Chaeyoung burst out laughing as she heard this.

"Did you just call me a clumsy dude?"

"I did. Do you have a problem with that, clumsy dude?" Chaeyoung chuckles, rolling her eyes at the raven.

"Okay, chicken dude." She murmured, making Jisoo chuckle as she narrowed her eyes teasingly at Chaeyoung.

Cheayoung then starts to speak about her day, starting from the cheerleading practice to the end of the day. Of course, Jisoo was listening very well, laughing at the things Chaeyoung explained about what happened in the class that made Ms. Lee mad. 

Jisoo knew she had to seize this opportunity. And Jisoo knew better that it was better to not underestimate Lisa, so she mustered up the courage. If no one is going to speak, then she'll take the lead.

"See? It's interesting to hear about your day. And by the way, thanks for the flowers and letters, Chaeyoung."

"You're welcome, Soo."

Jisoo smiled. Chaeyoung freezes after picking it up.

"I... uhm... I-" Chaeyoung looked down, trying to find an explanation as anxiety and fear started to crawl up into her spine.

"It's okay, Chae. I know." Jisoo murmurs, smiling as her eyes never leave Chaeyoung.

"...What?"

Jisoo blushes again, this time a little brighter, but she's not going to back down from her confession or keep quiet about it. Not when she literally just started, and she has no plans to end it until she says it.

"I am in love with you too, silly."

And that sentence was enough for Chaeyoung to blink as she processed everything. All this time, she thought it was platonic, but it was not? Oh my god. Oh my god.

"You still remember it, right? I mean, it would be so awkward if you didn't, but if you want me to remind you of the first letter you told me, in which you told me you love me and-"

"You're in love with me?" 

Jisoo smiled a little although she was in a blushing mess, but she didn't care. She reached out to take Chaeyoung's hand on hers as she looked at her in the eyes full of sincerity.

"I am. I am in love with you, Chaeyoung."

Chaeyoung flashes a quivering smile when she hears that. And Jisoo couldn't help, but to panic when she saw tears starting to form in the blonde's eyes. She instinctively stood up from her seat and sat down beside the girl to comfort her.

"Oh shit. I mean, I totally said I'm in love with you instead of I'm not, but oh my god, don't cry please. I'm sorry. Please don't cry." Jisoo says, cupping Chaeyoung's cheeks into her palms and starts to wipe the tears. 

"I thought I was gonna lose you." Chaeyoung whispered, also trying to wipe her tears.

"Well, for a second thought. I also thought I was gonna lose you. You scared me silly!" 

Chaeyoung laughs at that, tears still present in her cheeks before she reaches out to cup the brunette's cheeks and does the impossible.

Jisoo widens her eyes in shock, feeling the plump lips pressed against her. Chaeyoung's lips were sweet, although a little bit salty, because of the tears, but nonetheless. It was the sweetest thing Jisoo had ever tasted. Regaining and finally absorbing what was happening, Jisoo instinctively circled her arms around the blonde, and kissed her back as she poured out all of her feelings with closed eyes. 

She could feel the blonde smiling between their kiss and when the oxygen became an issue. They broke it off before they shared a loud laugh with happiness. They must have been that dumb and dense for not realizing they have been in love with each other for years.

"So does that mean we're girlfriends now?" Chaeyoung asked, now leaning into Jisoo's shoulders as she played with the raven's hand.

"Well, you still haven't asked me, so I guess not?" Jisoo replies, leaning as well on Chaeyoung.

"Then ask me, silly."

"Why me?"

"Why not you?"

"Ask me out."

"No, you ask me out."

"Is this going to be our first love quarrel?"

"It’s not if you’re not going to ask me out."

"Touché."

Chaeyoung laughed and Jisoo smiled before she faked a cough and properly positioned herself, turning her head at Chaeyoung as she held her hand closer.

"Okay, since we're both very stubborn and you're being cute, which is very lucky of you. I'll do the asking then," Jisoo says, earning a slap on her shoulder as Chaeyoung laughs at her. She pouts, before she continues with a smile, "Will you be my-"

"Yes." Jisoo laughs at that.

"Do you even know what I was going to ask?" She teased.

"Oh I know you're going to ask me to be your girlfriend, Soo." 

"What if I ask you to be my mega bestfriend instead of being my girlfriend?"

"Oh shut up, simp. You love me." Jisoo laughs at the name.

"Okay, mega best friend who has a huge crush on me."

[minsugapie]

Now You See Me: part 38 (2103 words) - just shut up

• • • • • •

You’re a content creator that is wanting to change up your brand a little bit.

Yoongi is a faceless musician. Well, he’s two people at once. He’s Agust D online and while performing, but he’s Min Yoongi in real life.

Who will he be to you?

• • • • • •

PART 37 // PART 38 // PART 39

masterlist

• • • • • •

tags : @dixonsbugaboo @mayumioutloud @xlilybebe @pocketfullofsuga @pwinny00 @rjsmochii @yoonglemickdoongle @live-2-fangirl @cherryicy123 @vernooope @okaysoplshelpme @thebleuprince @minyoongone @original-internetmonster @princesskimnamjoon @waddlingmyg @ur-gunna-h8-ths @zombiewerewolfqueen @spookyricewithsoysauce @tae165 @sunshinedeaa @dreamcatcherjiah @tirednation @labgeek @lyndseygoregasmxo @luwunacy @hellboundblogger @listless-losers @my-chaos-in-stars @pityandchiil @uwukinawa 

• • • • • •

sorry it’s late. it’s also kinda short but it’s loaded with gooey stuff so...enjoy x 

• • • • • •

Scrolling through instagram while procrastinating getting ready for the show tonight, you couldn’t help but notice how cute Hoseok and Jade were together. You didn’t know why you hadn’t thought of it sooner, but they really complimented each other very well…he deserved to have someone stable, who actually liked him. Although you knew that Jade was still hung up on Yoongi, they’d be good for each other. 

Sure, you had noticed that Hoseok was good looking (you weren’t blind), but ever since you’d set eyes on Yoongi, you knew that he was it for you. He was all the you needed, all that you thought about. And when you first met him, well, that was just the blood-red seal on the letter. 

A text from Jade interrupted your thoughts. She informed you that they were on their way to the show, so you had better get ready and be there. If you didn’t show, she was going to track you down and make you come. 

So your only choice was to go talk to Yoongi. 

Walking to your closet, you stared at it for minutes. You simply had nothing to wear. After choosing simple blue jeans, black boots, and your leather jacket (literally the simplest outfit you could have chosen), you sighed and locked the door on your way out. Tae and Hana were already out for the afternoon and would meet you there, so you were going solo. 

By the time you slowly made your way there, the show was starting, which was fine because talking to him before the show would not have been good. Also, you wanted him all to yourself with all the time in the world. 

You watched from by the bar, texting Jade that you were there, and that you were going to head backstage to talk to him after the show. At least there you’d be hidden from the crowd. 

Watching the last 20 minutes of the show reminded you of the other show with all the intensity. You could hear the frustration, anger and hurt in his voice with every bar. You almost started crying when his voice cracked during a particularly painful lyric. The pain only increased when a piano was suddenly rolled onto the stage, and a woman who had been standing beside you walked onto the stage. The crowd went quiet, and you held your breath as the stage commanded the attention. Yoongi was seated at the piano, hood over his head and mask under his chin. A whisper rushed through the crowd when he pulled his hood down and took off his mask. He still wasn’t really visible, but he was no longer hiding. You held your breath, heart race increasing. 

The song he started playing had basically been the only one you’d been listening to as of late —“Song Request”. If the tears weren’t falling before, then they were now. You weren’t stupid. You knew that the song was inspired by you, vaguely at least, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t like it. It showed such a vulnerable side of Yoongi that you hadn’t able to get to know throughout your time together so far. And although it was a sad song, you loved every second of it. 

You watched Yoongi’s back the entire performance, arms and feet moving in sync to create a beautiful melody. You had never gotten tired of watching him play piano, and you were sure that you would never be tired of it. Loving someone that was so gifted, especially musically, was not something that you planned to take for advantage anymore. 

You wanted Yoongi. Hell, you wanted him more than anything you’d ever wanted in your life. If that man asked you to go to school, you probably would have just because he would be with you. But that wasn’t realistic.

In a perfect world, the two of you would be together with your nice private relationship, but you were both plastered on the internet (mostly you). In fact, you were sure that Yoongi had a peaceful relationship with the internet until you came alone. You simply caused him trouble. You basically threw him to the wolves simply by asking him to create a small piece of art for you. 

Before you realized, the show was over, and he took a bow before walking off the stage, microphone in one hand and mask in the other. He didn’t necessarily show his face to the crowd, but he hadn’t hidden it either. 

You could tell that he didn’t realize that you would be right backstage because as soon as he finally saw you he stopped in his tracks, mouth falling open. He didn’t see you at first, however, because he often walked while looking at the ground, something that he had been doing then.

You didn’t realize this, but it took everything in Yoongi to keep him from walking right into your arms and smothering you in the biggest hug he’d ever given or received. The small part of him that held his will-power was fuelled by the memory of your leaving him for a month and not ignoring him. 

He wondered how it was so easily done, because he had realized even before you’d slept together that he would have never been able to stay away from you for that long. It genuinely hurt that you were capable of such a thing. The last time someone hadn’t spoken to him was when Jade initially moved away. She didn’t speak to him for half a year, but even that wasn’t nearly as hard as this had been. 

“You came,” he managed, not able to move another muscle. You could tell that he was checking you out by the way his eyes raked over your body. Maybe he was checking to see if you were really there. Honestly, at that point, were you even there? It seemed like this day would have never came. 

“How could I miss it?” You tried to joke, cracking a small smirk. When Yoongi’s face held no sign of amusement, your smile faded. 

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed and replied, “You didn’t seem to have a problem missing every single one of my calls and messages. You didn’t even open my snaps, Y/N.”

Closing your eyes, you thought about what you needed to say. You didn’t want to hurt him more than you already had; he didn’t deserve it. All he’d been was nice to you. 

“I had to. It would have been too hard for me to leave. Plus, do you want to know the biggest fucking joke of it all? The day that I would have answered was the day you stopped calling.”

He groaned, taking a step towards you, but it felt like he was taking a step back. “That doesn’t explain anything to me. I’m still as confused as I was when you left. We had just decided that we wanted to start dating and actually be together, and then you up and leave. What am I supposed to think? Did you just use me for sex, or to get some songs out of me? Because that’s what this feels like. It fucking SUCKS.”

Tears started escaping your eyes out of frustration. Why didn’t he understand that this was for him? You were just figuring out the words to articulate what you were feeling when he continued, “You know what, whatever, I’m done with this. If you can’t give me a proper answer then I’m leaving.” Yoongi started walking quickly towards you but simply brushed by with a nudge on your shoulder. 

He exited the stage and started making his way through the crowd. Crying out in frustration at yourself, you ran after him. “Hey!” You called, closing the distance between the two of you. Clearly people were interested in what was happened because people formed a small circle around the two of you. It was easy to tell that there was something going on with all the tension and emotions buzzing between you two. “Just give me a second to get my thoughts in order!”

“Why? You’ve had an entire month alone to get your thoughts together. What you’ve given me so far is nothing.”

“My month away was not only because of you, and you know that. I’ve had so much shit going on in my life that I needed to confront before I could even remotely think about what was going on between us. Up until last week my dad was still under the impression that I was going to follow his orders and go to school and marry Hoseok and be who he wanted me to be!”

“Whatever. You would think that the person you wanted to be in a relationship with would have been a great confidant, but I guess not…” You’d never seen this cold side of Yoongi, especially towards you. “Did you even like me at all?”

“Of course, I like you! I’m in love with you!”

“You sure have a funny way of showing it.” If looks could kill, you would have been dead. 

Rubbing your hands down your face, you had to stop yourself from throwing a fit. Not only were you frustrated with the way Yoongi was being, but you were mad at yourself. You understood where he was coming from, yet he was being stubborn. 

“Don’t you get it, Yoongi?! All other matter aside, the reason I didn’t confide in you was because I tried to push myself away. I don’t want to be the reason that you have to reveal yourself to the world! I’ve been getting hate for being with you and only you, but in two different appearances because people assumed. People never stop assuming.” You’d used his real name without a second thought, and although neither you nor Yoongi noticed, everyone around you had, including your giant group of friends that had gathered and were watching the heated conversation without a blink or breath. 

“Y/N,” he tried to cut you off, but you weren’t done. If he wanted answers, he was going to get them. 

“No! Just think about it for a second! People will be all over you in private if you reveal to the world who you truly are! It sucks so bad! I have to live with it every day. At least now you can go out somewhere without a mask because no one knows who you are…” You trailed off, a tear slipping down your cheek again. You were calmer than you had been when you’d become the small rant, but you were more sad than anything. The tears became continuous as you practically felt your heart tear in two. 

“Hey, shh, come on,” he hushed, taking the step towards you and rubbing his thumbs across your cheeks to pick up the tears. 

You tried to pull away from his grasp, but he wouldn’t let you. It was his time to talk. Whispering, he replied, “Look at me. I don’t have my mask on right now, and I’m fine. Let people assume. I don’t care about any of that anymore. I just want to be with you, Y/N, and if it means giving up my identity, then so be it. I’m so in love with you that it makes me crazy. You drive me up the wall, and yet you’re the one person that can calm me down with a simple look. I don’t want to just be some guy that came and went. I want to be your present and your future. I wanted our lives to be one. I want for you to trust me enough to meet your dad. All I want is you, whatever way it comes. I can still make music without a mask, but I can’t love you if you won’t let me.”

You hadn’t meant for your conversation to be so public, but he was right. He didn’t have his mask on right now, and nobody seemed to be doing anything. Not one picture of him was taken. Not one person was even willing to interrupt the conversation. We had everyone’s eyes and ears. 

“Are you sure you want me so badly? I’m all sorts of messed up…” You just wanted to best for him, and you weren’t sure if you were it. 

“Just shut up,” he mumbled, crashing his lips against yours. 

With a few hoots and hollers, you at least knew that not everyone would be mean given the chance. Maybe being with Yoongi wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

[writing-in-verse]

The Birds and The Bees (and The Blackthorns) Part Five

Here is the final part of my collaboration with @ti-bae-rius! You can find links to Part One, Two, Three, and Four here! Click here for Lauryn’s headcanons! The master-list will also be linked here too!

Enjoy!

Kit and Ty had spent at least an hour trading letters back and forth, the burning paper vanishing as fast as it appeared filling the room with the smell of ash, pencil lead being worn down by audible scratching. The slight creak of the bedsprings faded away and the wooden headboard became a distant feeling against Ty’s shoulder-blades. The words enveloped him, filled his mind and seared themselves onto his eyes. Ty’s heartbeat was never calm or steady, but it beat felt more stable when he and Kit traded letters, kindling something within him as bright as the fire rune on the page.

I want you to come to the library. I’m running out of paper and I think someone is going to notice the smell of burning.

Kit xoxo

Kit wasn’t the most eloquent person Ty had ever met, not fed the literature and the ancient texts Shadowhunters had access to - not that Ty needed any encouragement. Ty wrote back,

I’m on my way, see you soon.

Ty.

He drew a fire rune, his skill at drawing marks was one of his less developed areas, and the paper lit up in a fluorescent blaze. He let the burning paper drop just as the flame touched his fingers and watched as the remainder burned away before hitting the ground. Halfway there another note materialised in front of him,

Soon couldn’t come fast enough. Most people have nicknames for people their going out with, but I don’t think you’d like to be called flower or honey. Besides, I wouldn’t want to call you anything other than Ty.

Kit xoxo

Ty smiled and wrote on the back,

I am not a flower, Kit. Nor am I a sweet product of pollen and the hard work of bees. I think Kit is a name you chose, and I wouldn’t imagine using any other.

Ty.

He was just reading over his message when he heard Livvy’s voice.

“Hey Ty-Ty, are you doing okay?”

Ty barely looked up as he replied. “Hey Livvy. I’m okay, Kit said he was hiding from Julian in the library so I’m going there.”

“That’s good, I’d seen him in there earlier and he looked like he would appreciate someone to pass the time with. I’m going to go find Dru, so I’ll come and find you later, okay?”

“Okay,” Ty replied as he passed her, barely stopping to talk. He drew another clumsy fire run on the paper and watched it burn in his hands, only remembering to let go when he felt the heat singe his fingers. He dragged his preoccupied mind out from the letters and found himself at the doors to the library.

Ty, for one of the few times in his life, hesitated.

He rarely stopped to consider his actions once he started on them, always trusting in his logical thinking to do the right thing, and he’d often been told by Livvy or one of the others that he might one day do something he regretted if he didn’t think it through. He felt like this was one of those times; a moment which could shape many moments to come if he wished it. It took him a moment to realise he was nervous, not in the all-consuming and heart-wrenching nervous he often felt, but a light and apprehensive nervous that came from expectation and the fear of disappointment.

Ty closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and stepped through the library doors.

The library had always been one of Ty’s favourite places in the whole of the institute. It was quieter than anywhere else; as if the noise of the rest of the building did not tread among the rows of books and scrolls and other assorted writings found within the shelves. There was always somewhere to hide and to be alone; Livvy had often found Ty here, among the stacks, reading Sherlock Holmes or one of the library texts.

Ty slowly swept his gaze along the large table at the centre of the room and saw all the half-screwed up notes and fire rune sketches littered the table along with some books with what appeared to be various drawing techniques. He stepped closer to the table and scanned over everything Kit had been doing over the last day, all the things he found interesting, the things he had half-finished, those he had spent hours perfecting, it all seemed to be centred around one thing; Ty.

“It’s a bit of a mess, but unless the Institute is hiding a librarian I’m sure no one will mind.” Kit’s voice came from behind Ty and he turned to see blue eyes looking at him. Ty had always struggled to read faces, could never quite understand some of the looks people gave him even if he did see every single one, but he could read Kit’s eyes and the nervousness in them. Ty thought back to being outside the library doors and the apprehension that sat on his shoulders, and almost sighed with relief as the weight lifted upon seeing that same emotion mirrored by Kit.

“If there was a librarian I would have found them a long time ago,” Ty replied. “And I think the ‘mess’, as you call it, is nice.”

“Well, as Dru could tell you, as much as I respect Julian and Emma’s authority I am not looking to be taught about sex. Especially not through using my best friend as a living diagram.”

Kit smirked at the sarcasm and Ty smiled, not at the obviously illogical idea of Dru as a living diagram, but rather at Kit’s smile, how it lit up his eyes and brought life to his features.

There was a moment when Kit went silent, when he stopped smiling, and suddenly cast his eyes to the floor, knotting his hands together. Ty wondered if he’d done something wrong in not responding to Kit’s joke or if he should say something to fill the silence. Before he could think of something, Kit spoke.

“I’ve missed you, Ty. The past couple of days have been…strange without you.”

“I saw you at dinner last night,” Ty pointed out with a smile.

Kit’s own smile returned. “Well, it feels like longer.”

“I’ve missed you too, Kit. I’ve wanted to come and find you, but a couple of things got in the way. Oh, I forgot to tell you, I put some things on the shelf in your room. I think you’ll like it.” Ty returned Kit’s smile.

Kit again went silent, but this time he walked slowly over to Ty, whose back was still to the desk. Kit put a hand on his arm and looked up at his face. Ty’s gaze caught on Kit’s eyes, the deep blue depths shining with something Ty could not decipher, and put a hand to his cheek.

If anyone was to ask either of them who kissed who first, they wouldn’t be able to give an answer. One moment they were separate and then they were together. The kiss started off slow, the boys initially uncertain of the other, but soon deepened and became hungry with need. There was a bang as Ty hit the desk behind him and Kit stopped.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”

Ty just smiled and resumed kissing Kit, twisting them round and pushing Kit into the edge of the table. After mere moments Ty brushed pencil and books across the table, many of them crashing to the ground, and lifted Kit onto the now cleared space. Kit’s legs went around Ty’s, anchoring them both in place, entangling limbs with limbs like vines around tree trunks.

When Kit eventually came up for air and pulled away and Ty dipped his head, kissing Kit’s neck, the breath catching in Kit’s throat. Ty touched a hand to the goosebumps that had formed on Kit’s skin, running a finger along the newly-bumped flesh.

“I love you, Ty. I love you, I love you,” Kit said into his ear and at last Ty pulled back just to place his forehead against Kit’s. He stared into the other boy’s eyes, mesmerised by the deep blue contained in them. With Kit sat on the desk, the two of them were almost the same height.

“I love you too, Kit.” Ty kissed Kit again, but slower this time, as if sealing a promise.

Eventually, after much more kissing, they left the library, still littered with Kit’s drawings and notes, all the books he’d found and the pencils he’d used. They walked through the institute not hand in hand – not yet, at least – but side by side, Ty’s right hand brushing Kit’s left.

They reached Kit’s room and Kit looked at the shelf Ty had decorated, and his eyes shone as he smiled at Ty. The other boy shut the door and walked over to Kit and tugged him towards the bed.

“Your shelf looks great,” Kit said softly, kneeling up to admire it. Ty caught him by the waist, pulling him back down, his back flush to Ty’s stomach.

“Later,” Ty muttered, and Kit let himself be folded into Ty’s careful arms. He tipped his head back a little, laughing when Ty blew a trailing lock of blonde hair out of his eyes. “Why do you have so much hair?” Ty mumbled, and Kit grinned when the weight of Ty’s forehead met the space between his own shoulder blades. When he’d first arrived, Kit never would have imagined anywhere within this world would feel safe again, not with demons roaming the streets and the heavy onus of expectation to fight them. But there was safety, space to be created and to live within, places like the gentle circle of Ty’s embrace, one of his ankles tucked around Kit’s. Here, his mind wasn’t on demons and the history of a last name that still didn’t feel like his own, and it was easy to feel safe knowing these were the moments he wanted, knowing he’d made the right choice.

[thelastblueheart]

I love you like rlb

THIS IS NOT MINE!!! This was originally posted by tolieawake but has since been deleted. I was able to get my hands on it and have shared it since it is a fandom classic. Please credit them as the writer!

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I love you like rlb has become a well-known, accepted and valuable component of American vernacular. The meaning of the letters ‘rlb’ is unknown, but is uniformly considered to be a statement of a great romantic love, commitment and sacrifice.

In which Tony goes insane trying to figure out why that phrase affects the Cap so much, Bucky teases the press, and Steve and Bucky love each other like rlb.

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I love you like rlb The first time he saw it, Steve stopped dead in his tracks and stared. Tony, who was walking and talking and gesticulating wildly all at the same time (the way that Tony does), didn't notice at first. When he did, he frowned, spun on his heel and headed back to where Steve was standing. “You okay, Cap?” he asked, tugging his sunglasses just far enough down his nose that he could peer at Steve over them. “Fine,” Steve mumbled, but he couldn't quite tear his eyes away. He was staring at the large glass window of the shop beside him or, rather, he was staring through the window at the brightly coloured t-shirt hanging on the mannequin. It was a vivid shade of blue, with yellow swirls crossing it, and white text proudly displayed across the chest. I love you like rlb it proclaimed proudly. “What?” Tony asked, “you never seen that saying before?” Steve swallowed, but didn't answer. Behind the mannequin was a rack of t-shirts, in various colours and patterns, all proclaiming the same thing – I love you like rlb. “I -” Steve started, before stopping to clear his throat. “Do you know what it means?” he asked. “Uh, it's just a saying, Cap,” Tony replied. “You know, like LOL or Got Milk? Roses are red. A prominent part of our popular culture that people use without really thinking about it.” He shrugged. “I don't think anyone knows where it comes from, or what the 'rlb' means – but everyone just takes it to mean, you know, like a declaration of love or something. Lots of love. Lots and lots of love.” He frowned. “I gave Pepper an I love you like rlb bracelet once. Real fancy, solid gold, she wears it occasionally.” He paused his rapid-fire rambling long enough to stare at Steve. “You sure you okay, Cap? 'Cos you look like you seen a ghost or something.” Tony paused. “You haven't seen a ghost, have you?” “No, no, it's just...” Steve let his voice trail off, hands tilted out to the side as he shrugged helplessly. How could he possibly explain it. “I don't know if it's related,” he said, “but some of the guys used to say that, during the war.” “Huh,” Tony said. He turned to look in the window at the t-shirts. “I mean, I know the saying's been around for a long time. One of those things that no-one is quite sure where it started or who said it first.” “Dernier,” Steve muttered. “What?” Shaking his head, Steve took a step away from the display, visibly pulling himself together. “Nothing,” he said. Shoving his hands into his pockets (to stop the shaking he wouldn't admit to), he turned and headed back down the street. “Don't we have somewhere to be?” he asked. - “JARVIS,” Steve said, standing in the middle of his floor of Avengers Tower (because Tony was ridiculous like that about giving them all things), “can you do some research for me, please?” “Certainly, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS replied smoothly. “What would you like me to research?” “I... I saw something today,” Steve said, “while I was out with Tony. He said that it was just a common saying, but...” letting his voice trail off he sighed, scrubbing one hand through his hair. “Sorry, I'm not explaining this right.” “Perhaps you could start with the saying?” JARVIS suggested. “Right, yes, of course.” Taking a deep breath, Steve forced the words – words he'd thought he'd never hear again, through his lips. “I love you like rlb,” he said. His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. There was a stinging in the backs of his eyes, but he resolutely ignored it. “That is a common saying,” JARVIS informed him with a thoughtful hum. “What is it that you would like to know about it?” “Does anyone know where it comes from?” Steve asked. “Tony said no, but, well, I thought maybe it's just not well-known? Or, does anyone know when it started? What it means?” “One moment, please,” JARVIS requested, before making another humming sound. Steve knew it was the sound JARVIS made to let him know he was thinking – or rather, running searches and collating information. Stumbling backwards, Steve let himself fall down onto his couch, grabbing the nearest cushion and almost ripping it apart as he held it tightly, hands clenching in the fabric. “While there does not appear to be any documented origin for the saying,” JARVIS said calmly, his smoothly modulated voice helping to calm Steve, “it is generally attributed as a saying which emerged among American troops during World War II. Returning soldiers brought the saying back to American soil with them. This origin in the War leant a certain romantic slant to the saying, which has persisted to this day. “Interestingly, french troops also carried the saying home to France after the war, which suggests that it was well-known enough that it transferred between Allied troops. Or was known to the resistance. It is also used fairly extensively in all Allied countries, but most prominently in America. “In 1951, it made its first appearance on merchandising – as a small engraving on pendants, which were sold by the Goldman Jewelry company. Stark Industries was involved in the design of the pendants.” Steve sucked a sharp breath in. “Since then,” JARVIS continued, “the phrase has appeared on various items of merchandise continually through the years; although the merchandise itself has changed, the phrase has never fallen out of use. It has been accepted as part of the current American and French vernacular, and appears in numerous romantic comedies, romance novels, and cards, as well as on items of clothing, jewelry, plaques and also tattoos. “The meaning of the letters 'rlb' is unknown, but is uniformly considered to be a statement of a great romantic love, commitment and sacrifice.” Pushing his fist against his mouth, Steve bit at his knuckles, trying to choke down the sob rising in his throat. “In the 1980s,” JARVIS continued, “the phrase was picked up by a number of gay rights campaigners and has since been used proudly by the community. However, evidence suggests that even before that time, and certainly since, it has been used as a phrase to express love between partners, without reference to their sexual orientation. “As there has never been a documented point of origin for the phrase, companies have been able to create merchandise freely, and therefore, at this current time, there is a proliferation of merchandising available. “Despite its unknown origins, and the lack of clarity around its exact meaning, I love you like rlb has become a well-known, accepted and valuable component of American vernacular. I am sorry that I am unable to provide you with the exact meaning of the letters rlb or of a more precise origin.” Sucking in a deep breath, Steve leant back against the couch, blinking rapidly. “It's okay,” he said, ignoring the way his voice cracked once more. “Thanks, JARVIS.” “You are welcome, Captain. If I may, you appear to be experiencing some distress. Would you like me to alert Mr Stark? Or perhaps one of the other inhabitants of the Tower? Miss Potts is currently upstairs and has finished work for the day.” “No,” Steve said, shaking his head. “No, I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just -” Getting up, he stumbled towards his bedroom, shaking lightly and half-tripping over his feet. JARVIS made a concerned sound before falling silent. - The next day, Steve pulled out some jeans, a baseball cap, hoodie and sunglasses, and braved the craziness of 21st century shopping in order to buy a few things. The watch with the engraving on the back went on his wrist. The sweatpants and t-shirt were shoved into a bag, to become his sleeping clothes. The fake dog-tags – well, he got them to add one with a simple string of numbers on it (32557) – and then slung them around his neck, letting them fall down beside his own, real, dog-tags. It wasn't much, wasn't nearly enough, but somehow, it made him feel better. - The fight with the Winter Soldier was nothing like anything Steve had encountered so far in this new century. The Soldier fought hard and fast and with an edge to his movements, despite the precision and grace and obvious training, that made Steve think of back alleys in Brooklyn. His team were yelling on the comm, Hawkeye hissing because neither Steve nor the Soldier would stand still long enough for him to safely take a shot. Iron Man was circling overhead, the Hulk standing nearby and looking ready to smash given half a chance. Widow was racing towards their position, ready to enter the fray. Thor cheered them both on as brave warriors. Then the Soldier grabbed at Steve, and somehow, during the fight, his helmet had been knocked off and the top of his uniform torn just enough that the Soldier's fingers closed over the chain around his neck, tugging and twisting. Steve ducked and rolled to prevent strangulation, even as he snapped his arm out, desperate to grab his dog-tags back. The Soldier froze, gaze fixated on the tags dangling from his hand, eyes widening and punching the breath from Steve's lungs even as his brain scrabbled to find a reason for his reaction. “Cap?” Hawkeye called. “I have a shot.” “Wait,” Steve said. He glanced down at the tags, noticing that the Soldier had grabbed his fake ones, and his eyes were fixed on that phrase. The saying. I love you like rlb Slowly, the Soldier raised his eyes to Steve's. “What?” he asked. His voice was muffled beneath his mask, and Steve found himself stepping forward, reaching out to gently remove the mask. His heart was pounding in his chest and he lost his breath as soon as the mask came away. There were tears in his eyes (he ignored them), and his heart was pounding (faster than he ever remembered it being since the serum). “Bucky,” he whispered. Slowly Bucky (because those were Bucky's eyes, even as they struggled against confusion and the blank stare of the Soldier) formed the words. “I love you like rlb,” he said. - “I'm just saying,” Tony said, “it's a little strange. First, Cap freaks out about the saying when he sees it on some t-shirts, and now the Winter Soldier – the Winter Soldier! - uses it to somehow break the insane amounts of brainwashing he was under.” Clint shrugged. “They say it originated in the war somewhere,” he said. “Maybe Cap was there when it first started.” “And the Soldier?” Tony asked. “We were.” The team turned to see Steve step into the room. His hair was still wet from his shower, and his eyes were suspiciously red and bright. There was a cautious hope in his eyes that made them realise just how withdrawn he'd been. Steve nodded towards the observation window they were all arrayed in front of. On the other side, the Winter Soldier sat at a table, staring down at the dog-tags still clutched in his fist. His hair hung over his face, so they couldn't see it clearly, but he'd been suspiciously quiet and compliant since he had been taken into custody. “We?” Bruce asked, eyes darting over Steve, assessing him. Steve gave him a tight smile. “We,” he repeated. He nodded towards the Soldier. “His name is James Buchanan Barnes. He's my best friend. He -” Steve cut himself off, taking a breath and swallowing. Then he shrugged. “We were there the first time Dernier said it – I don't think he meant for us to hear, but we did.” His gaze turned un-focused, looking off somewhere they couldn't see. - “Are you insane?” Dum Dum hissed, staring at Dernier through the rain. He scowled. “You know what you're risking.” Dernier shrugged, glancing over his own shoulder at where Gabe was sitting under the flap of their tent. “I know,” he agreed. “And I wouldn't risk it for just anything, but I love him like rlb.” “Rlb?” Bucky asked, stepping up beside Steve and frowning through the rain. “What are they talking about?” Steve shrugged, shaking his head. “I'm not sure,” he said, brow furrowed. - Shoving his meager supplies into a pack, Steve slung it up onto his shoulder, turning to face his men. “I don't expect you to follow me,” he said, “but I do ask that you don't try to stop me.” “What's going on?” Falsworth asked, stepping into the tent and glancing around at them. “What do you think?” Morita asked, “we got another rlb situation.” Steve blinked. “What?” he asked, before shaking his head. “Never mind. The rendezvous is in two hours, north-east from here. Get to the pick-up point and -” “No offense, Cap,” Falsworth interrupted, “but we're not going to the rendezvous.” “No chance,” Dum Dum agreed. “You're going after Barnes. So are we.” Steve shook his head. “I can't ask you to -” “You're not asking, we're offering,” Gabe said, pushing himself to his feet. Around them, the others nodded. - They trooped into base camp six days later, covered in mud, tired, hungry, but with Barnes by their sides (well, by Steve's side). Phillips took one look at them, before shaking his head. “Rlb?” he asked. “Rlb,” Falsworth agreed with a nod. - “You got a girl back home?” Steve paused, glancing over at the small huddle of soldiers, grouped around a fire and sharing stories. “Yeah,” one of the others replied. He pulled a worn photo out of his pocket, holding it out to show the others. “This here is my gal,” he replied. “Prettiest gal around.” “Nice sweetheart,” another soldier commented. He shook his head. “Nah, not just a sweetheart,” he said. “This is the gal I'm gonna marry, I love her like rlb.” The others nodded, smiling understandingly. - “Hey Steve,” Bucky murmured, shifting so that his face was smushed against Steve's neck, where they lay in their tent. “Mmm,” Steve agreed. A wicked smile curved Bucky's lips against Steve's skin. “I love you like rlb,” he said. Rolling his eyes – and his body – Steve turned so that he could look at Bucky. “Really, Buck?” he asked. Bucky just grinned back at him. “What?” he asked. “Haven't you figured out what it stands for yet?” “'Course I have,” Steve replied. “They're not as subtle as they think.” Bucky huffed a laugh. “But you coulda just said 'I love you',” Steve continued. “Coulda,” Bucky agreed. “But I like this better. You know, I heard some soldiers use it earlier today, like it's something special, something more than just 'I love you'. I like that.” “You would,” Steve agreed. Reaching out, he traced his hand over Bucky's forehead, his nose, his cheek. Bucky turned his head, pressing a kiss against Steve's palm. “I love you like rlb, Buck,” Steve said. - “And this is the common floor,” Tony proclaimed, spreading his arms wide and spinning around as he indicated the area they had just stepped into. Behind him, Bucky (because he was all Bucky now, no more Winter Soldier), stared around and gave a low whistle. “Would you look at that,” he said, turning to grin at Steve. “You've been hanging with the rich kids.” Smiling (he hadn't stopped smiling since Bucky had first hugged him, pulling Steve close in the tiny cell they had him in, pressing his lips to Steve's neck and mouthing those words against his skin I love you like rlb), Steve gave a small shrug. “Just one rich kid,” he said. “But a very rich one.” “That's right,” Tony agreed. “So, if you need anything, just let me know. If I don't have it already, I'm pretty sure I can get it for you.” “Got any I love you like rlb t-shirts?” Bucky asked, casting a sly grin at Steve. Tony gaped at him. “What?” he asked, before stopping and shaking his head. “No, don't tell me, I don't want to know,” he said (even though he did really want to know). “JARVIS, please order Barnes some t-shirts.” “Certainly, Sir,” JARVIS agreed easily. - Bucky tended to wear his I love you like rlb t-shirts around the Tower – whenever he wasn't in uniform, he could be found lounging around in one of the shirts. Steve would always give him a soft smile when he saw the shirts, and Tony was fairly sure that was at least half the reason they had basically become Barnes' signature wardrobe. So it wasn't that surprising when he wore one to his first press interview. At least, it wasn't surprising to the Avengers (even if it was driving Tony crazy that Barnes refused to tell him just why he liked the shirts so much), even if it did surprise the press. “Sergeant Barnes,” a reporter asked. “I notice you're wearing a t-shirt with the popular phrase I love you like rlb emblazoned across it. I was just wondering, was this a particular choice? Does it have any significant meaning for you?” Bucky blinked, staring back at the reporter, before turning to look at Steve. “They don't know?” he asked, sounding slightly incredulous (but with that underlying hint of humour that suggested he knew exactly what he was doing and that his incredulity was all part of some crazy plan he had – Tony still couldn't quite believe the things that guy could talk Cap into when his voice took on that edge). “Bucky,” Steve sighed, with a roll of his eyes, but he made no move to stop him. Turning back to the reporters, Bucky smiled sweetly at them. “Sure it means something to me,” he said. “I mean, I was surprised that anyone even remembered this crazy saying.” He gave a small shrug. “I think it was Gabe as first used it,” he said. “Dernier,” Steve softly corrected him. “Right,” Bucky agreed with a laugh, “Dernier.” “Are you telling us,” the reporter asked, eyes wide, “that you know of the first instance of this iconic phrase being used?” “Sure,” Bucky said. “At least, I know it was the guys as first started using it. Not sure if I heard the very first time they said it – it wasn't something they used to say in front of Steve or I, at first.” “Why not?” Bucky laughed again. “Because it was about us,” he replied with a grin. “They didn't want us to know they'd caught on.” Another shrug. “Thought they were being so clever, so subtle.” He shook his head with a fond smile. “Dernier said it about Gabe.” “Jacques Dernier and Gabe Jones,” a reporter asked, “who, years after the war, confirmed that they had been in a romantic relationship since the war?” “And during,” Bucky agreed easily. “And yeah, Dernier said he loved Gabe 'like rlb'. They used it all the time – well, not necessarily the whole 'I love you like rlb', but 'rlb'. Like it was some super secret code they'd made up. Steve's about to do something stupid 'cos I got cut off from the guys again, it's an 'rlb situation'. Explaining to Phillips why we were late to a rendezvous, 'sorry General, but rlb, you know?'” Next to them, Tony was gaping – he was a genius, okay, so he'd figured it out. “And the rlb,” the first reporter asked, leaning forward, “what does that stand for?” Bucky laughed. “Rogers loves Barnes, of course,” he said. - There was a violent and prolific reaction to Bucky's statement. Tony claimed they'd broken the Internet (Steve was fairly sure that was impossible, but he let Tony think he'd convinced them of it), and for a while, none of the reporters were interested in anything else. But, when it came down to it, things were no different. Bucky wore his t-shirts around the Tower, and would lie next to Steve at night, mouthing the words into his skin. Somehow, the fact that this, of everything they'd done and said, of all the history that had been written about them, that this was the thing that lasted and thrived the most – it made Bucky grin. “I always said we had a love like one of those epic romances,” he told Steve fondly. Steve snorted. “You did not,” he replied, “you said I was a punk and that you'd better stick by me 'cos otherwise I'd get myself killed.” Bucky shrugged. “That, too,” he agreed easily. Then he grinned, bright and brilliant, the kind of grin that chased away the lingering shadows of his pain and guilt for a moment. “Still, we're like, the definition of romantic love in this century,” he said. “That's gotta count for something.” “I don't know about that,” Steve replied, “but I do know I love you.” “Like rlb?” Bucky asked. “Sure,” Steve agreed with a laugh, “I love you like rlb. Now sit still, Jerk, I'm trying to draw you.”

[hypnoidvoid]

UhHhHHH platonic or romantic stozier finding a hurt bird on a bike ride

A/N: Okay so this deadass turned into a oneshot. Stozier is my fuckin’ brotp so here I come with the FEELS. Also, for those of you that read my Reddie fic Key to the Jungle, I wrote this to be an additional out of storyline excerpt/blippet of the highschool versions of Stan and Richie in their junior year. Ecologist!Richie and Ornithologist!Stan are best friends and have been forever and now I’m crying, thank you and have a kickass day. I love adding on to this universe.

[Title: Neapolitan Bird Bath]

[Friday, April 16, 2010]

The sun, as much life as it nourished with its light and warmth, disappeared behind thick clouds as only a disfigured apparition. Rays reflected, yearned to bust through, but could only try its best to light the naturally shadowed town of Derry, Maine.

Rain collided with the glass from outside of the classroom. It pounded hard, making music of its own along with the monotone voice of their AP biology teacher lecturing about the differences in photosystems. Richie half listened, and half paid attention to different couplets of raindrops, making bets in his head as to which one would run faster down the glass. The one he always bet on seemed to be the losing raindrop unfortunately; good thing he didn’t wager any money. It was also a good thing he sat pretty far back in the classroom, otherwise the teacher may have heard his quietted hums of the Speed Racer theme song.

Richie knew every detail the teacher was talking about. Transcription blah blah, NADPH+ blah fucking blah, cytochrome this electron flow that, more blah blah. Not even with cockiness, he just already knew the information from reading as much as he did. He’d probably be able to teach the material better than the teacher, even at seventeen years of age.

“Why the fuck would they keep it photosystem I, if photosystem II comes first. Just rename that shit,” Richie whispered with annoyance after leaning into Stan’s ear, who sat in front of him.

Instead of verbally responding, Stan tore a piece of paper out of his spiralled notebook and wrote in masterful cursive ‘to make us miserable’, and indiscreetly passed it to Richie behind his back.

Richie took the pencil resting atop his ear, twirled it twice in his fingers and scribbled back, ‘must have been the same dude that took Pluto away from us. i fucking miss Pluto’.

Stan snorted, and wrote ‘don’t we all’.

Doodling a frightening sad face next to Stan’s response, he continued on the next line, ‘id rather die than have to spend more time listening to this george bush lookin motherfucker. me tHinKs we know more than he does’.

Stan admitted in his delicate text, ‘even you probably have more brain cells than he does’.

Richie muffled a snigger, writing back ‘you wrote that on paper staniel, im going to get it published. you dun fucked up’.

In big, bubble letters where he used a yellow highlighter to perfectly color in the lines, Stan admired his work that depicted ‘FUCK YOU’.

As he passed the piece of paper back to Richie, their teacher became aware of their note passing. He scowled, clipped his lazer pointer pen back into the stained pocket of his button up shirt, and slowly stomped towards the two.

“Boys, would you like to share with the rest of the class? These notes must be much more important than paying attention to my lecture.”

Nervously speaking up, Stan panicked, “It was about homework, sir.”

Looking between Stan’s jittery composure and Richie’s smug smile, he was unconvinced by the lie.

“Is that so gentlemen. Well let me see then, hand it over-”

Richie quickly crumpled and shoved the scrap piece of paper into his mouth. The class burst into laughter, as well as Stan. He chewed the awful tasting inked paper quickly and swallowed, bearing a guiltless smile at the teacher without another word. That infamous, toothy, Tozier smile flashed that his father also sported on occasion.

The teacher pinched the bridge of his nose and wagged a reprimanding finger in Richie’s face, “You’re lucky you have the highest grade in the class, Tozier. Another stunt like that and it’s detention,” then craned his neck to meet Stan’s anxious gaze, “You too, Mr. Uris.”

“You got it, teach’a man,” and Richie used two fingers to salute him. Exhaustedly rolling his eyes, the teacher returned to the front of the class and lectured for the remainder of the period, which was only about fifteen minutes. Before the bell signalled dismissal into the weekend, all of the students were promptly packed and itching to flee the classroom. They sat on the edges of their seats buzzing with excitement.

*BIIIIIING*DING*BIIIIIIIIING*

“Don’t forget to read chapters seven through-” But the teacher’s demands were drowned out by shuffling feet and giddied shrieks as the class stormed out into the swollen mist of rain.  

Swinging his patched backpack over one shoulder, Richie threw the hood of his rain jacket over his head and turned to Stan on their way out with a devilish grin, “You’re welcome.”

Stan blankly positioned his folded bag over the front of his body, “Yeah, okay. Deal’s a deal, what flavor you want this time?”

Richie looked into the sky letting droplets hit his freckled face, and pondered for a moment, “Neapolitan.”

“Neapolitan it is then.”

“With sprinkles. And fudge. And Oreo bits.”

“Don’t push your luck,” Stan chided, briskly shoving Richie’s shoulder. They unlatched their bikes that had been chained next to each other from the bike rack and peddled south of town.

They had this agreement that if one of them ever got the other, or both, out of trouble (detention, arrested, whatever) then they owed a serving of ice cream. It’s a simple enough compromise. Stan religiously ordered butter pecan, but Richie’s choice was always a gamble. Detention was a waste of fucking time, even for Richie who had spent more than enough hours there, and if they could avoid sitting in silence without doing anything for god knows how long, they rewarded each other. It’s what best friends did.

Pumping hard with his feet, Richie swiveled up on his bike alongside Stan and exclaimed, “Did you know kangaroos have two uteruses?”

Stan chuckled and shook the rain off of the top of his curls with a jolt, “You reading animal porn now?”

“The males even have two dicks to match, can ya believe that? Nature is fuckin’ craz-”

Stan abruptly yanked the brakes of his bike with enough force to slide and create a minor tire mark in the middle of the street, where Richie shut his trap and followed Stan’s lead. He was wildly confused, but mirrored him nonetheless, for Stan always had reason behind his actions. Always. Richie would never admit, but he believed Stan to be wise beyond his years, and when Stan did something unusual it was best to pay attention. Richie was smart, brilliant even, but Stan possessed a superpower of intuitive awareness.  

Face stern and focused with calculation, Stan tipped his hooded head in different directions to pick up on a sound Richie failed to initially acknowledge. All Richie heard was rain.

He pushed midnight curls aside to frame his thick glasses, “Stan?”

Pressing a strict finger to his lips, Stan shot him sharp eyes, “Shhhhh.” They listened.

Then he heard it. Little chirps echoed off of the asphalt; a peculiar place for bird noises to be coming from, especially during a storm of this severity. How Stan was able to pick up on the muted cries flashing by on a bicycle astonished Richie. It was indeed a superpower.

Zeroing in on the location of the bird, Stan hopped off his bike and propped it gently against a tree to stay upright. Richie carelessly threw his bike down on the soaked grass lining the sidewalk.

“That’s a black-capped chickadee. A distress call,” Stan informed with concern, Richie trailing close behind.

“Gotcha.”

Stan strutted to a close American elm tree, scaled his eyes up the trunk, and saw a nest. It didn’t titter, make noise, it only rustled with the passing winds of the storm under its protective canopy of leaves. He circles the tree’s trunk and on the other side, in the unmowed grass, a petit bird hobbled, desperately alerting for help.

Richie’s expression was one of bewilderment, “Holy shit, how’d you-”

Bringing his knees to the ground without care of getting grass stains on his khakis, Stan expertly picked the chick up and evaluated it. He stretched out its wings, made sure there was a healthy pulse, and strategically bent certain limbs to check for breaks. Richie just watched with magnified eyes.

Grunting, Stan seemed to have found his answer, “Rich, got anything hard and flat?”

As much as Richie wanted to make a disastrous joke, he refrained.

With Stan gingerly holding the young chickadee’s foot cradled in his palm, Richie innately understood his inquiry. Chucking off his backpack, Richie found a popsicle stick that he had neglected to throw away days ago and snapped it in thirds. He offered a piece of it to Stan’s free hand.

Stan continued, “Get the bandaids out of the front button in my bag too.”

The chickadee had a broken foot. It was nearly shattered from presumably falling out of the tree, needing adjustment and splinting to heal properly. Correcting the bird’s mangled digits, Stan flattened out its foot (even though it nipped his hands and drew blood in places), and used the bandaids to wrap the appendage atop the piece of popsicle stick to keep it straight. While the bird seemed angry with him in the process, it eventually relaxed, and cooed chirps of comfort rather than distress as it was being wrapped. It realized it was being helped and not under siege by a predator. This was a friend.

Richie admiringly observed, sitting cross-legged next to his best friend with a warm smile, “That was amazing, buddy. You’re going to make a great ornithologist some day. I know it.”

Stan only responded with a creviced, dimpled smile. He shed the sweater under his raincoat and made a ‘nest’ in his bag to transfer the chickadee safely. Instead of heading for the ice cream parlor, they rode their bikes back to Richie’s house to care for the young bird and make it a temporary home until it was healthy enough to release back into the wild.

Ice cream could always wait.

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[rosebudmendes]

La Vie Est Belle I Part 4 (Shawn Mendes AU)

Description: She has to take care of her ill father. He has to provide for his younger sister. Just when they think their lives couldn’t get busier, fate intervenes. 

A/N: So sorry that I took so long to update this, enjoy! 

Warnings: Alcoholism, terminal illness, fluff

Word Count: 2.2K 

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Masterlist

It had been three weeks since you last saw Shawn. His appearance was now becoming a figment of your imagination. Which was forcing you to create this idea of him that was highly desirable. You knew he worked a lot so you didn’t put too much thought into his disappearance. Besides, he still texted you at least once a day. Which was enough to keep you wanting more. 

The text exchanges between the two of you ranged from flirty, to comforting, and then back to flirty. There were moments when you thought he was going to open up about his past, but he changed the topic anytime you got close to knowing more. There was something he was hiding, something important. You didn't push him to share that information, though. What you guys have was good, and you wanted to keep it that way. No drama, no problem. 

Your father had been meeting with the specialist everyday now. There was little progress being made which made you feel hopeless. Although he wasn’t gone, you were already preparing to say goodbye. Thats why you spent every second with him.  At the specialist rehabilitation center, there was family rooms that allowed one family member to stay overnight with the patient. 

Your mom was easily persuaded into going home for the night. You weren’t even sure if she ever made it home most nights, though.  She always came back the next morning with an intense stench of alcohol on her lips. Eventually, you had gotten used to her immature behavior. It wasn’t that you enjoyed seeing her like this, you hated it, but you understood why she drank. 

It's a way to numb the pain. A way to momentarily forget about everything. Forget about the illness, the finances, the future. You didn’t know when it started and you didn’t really want to know. There was so many things that you both were dealing with but neither initiated a conversation about it. 

Today was no exception to the pain. It was the day the specialist gave an estimated timeline of how long your father had. You knew this was coming, but yet you weren’t prepared. 

It had to have been at least 5 days since your last shower. Your nails had dirt caked underneath, your hair was knotted and unmanageable. The dark circles under eyes traveled for miles, and your skin had broken out. Your diet consisted of cafeteria fries, deli sandwiches and horrible coffee. No wonder your head felt like it was surrounded by a thick fog. 

You didn’t care how awful you looked or felt. You had an entire lifetime ahead of you to worry about your appearance. Time was getting cut short for your father and that’s all you could think about. Well, that and Shawn of course. 

“Good morning, beautiful x” Shawn’s contact named appeared on your iPhone screen. You felt your stomach do a cheerful twirl. “How are you feeling about today?” You were shocked that he remembered what today was. 

“I’m dreading it. Wish you were here. xx” The thought of Shawn being here with you, having his hand to hold when the doctors gave the news, made you feel safe. You didn’t want to burden him, though. No did you want to make your father seem unimportant. 

Today was all about your father and his health. Avoiding all distractions, you turned your phone off and left it on the counter of the kitchen. 

You were back in your condo to grab a few more clothes for your dad. The living area was a horrendous mess. No one had taken the responsibility upon themselves to clean, and frankly you didn’t care enough to do it yourself. You grabbed a few granola bars before heading back to the rehabilitation center. When you arrived you found your father wandering around the hallways on his own, using his cane for support. “Hey, Pops. What are you doing out of bed?” You were trying your best to hide the concern in your voice. You knew he hated how worried you were. 

“Oh don’t worry too much darlin’, Doctor Reyes said there was nothing wrong with a little physical activity.” He chuffed. You accepted this as a solid argument and offered your arm for more support. He shooed your arm away and carried on slowly making his way back to his room. You stayed with him, laughing at the jokes he cracked and asked him to tell stories of when he was younger. You have countless memories of your father sitting in his office, glasses resting on his nose and cigarette in his hand. He’d call you in and have you sit in the leather chair across from him. “Picture this,” He’d begin telling a story that he created in his lively mind. 

Even though his day job was in advertising, he had aspirations to be a writer. There were probably 100 stories already typed up on his laptop, just sitting there collecting e-dust. You’d try to sneak a peak at his files anytime you were home alone. 

One winter night, while your parents were at your grandparents house you found a file titled “my loves.” With curiosity flowing through your bloodstream you opened it, and suddenly wished you could take it back. Instead of finding a intriguing story full of made up characters, it was a letter to you and your mom. He must have written it the night he got his diagnosis. 

       My Beautiful Girls,            This letter is to remind you of how much I love you. Please, don’t forget to stop and smell the roses every once in awhile. You both have such child-like souls that aren’t meant to be kept in a cage. I will be with you, always.        With much love, Pops.

That was the last time you went snooping on his computer. 

It was two hours before the doctor would be around to give you the news. Your mother was sleeping on the recliner in the room. She was snoring slightly, which caused a small amount of rage start up. No. Not today. You will not be angry, you will not rage. You will be there for your father. Nothing less, nothing more. Suddenly, Shawn appeared in the doorway. “Shawn, what on earth are you doing here?” You panicked. How did he know you were here? Didn’t he have work? So many anxious questions flooded your thoughts.

“Can I talk to you in the hallway, (y/n)” Shawn stood there with his hands in his pockets, shoulders obviously holding all his nerves. Whatever he was here for was weirdly important to him. 

“What’s up?” You forced your voice to sound cheerful and upbeat. He would believe you were fine if your voice met the tone of your texts. Once you were in his reach he latched onto your wrist softly, pulling you into his proximity. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” His thumb was grazing the top of your hand that was latched in his. “I, uh, kinda missed your voice.” He looked down as he said this, as if it was too sensitive for him to say. 

“Well, I am glad that you are here,” Your body gave in to the temptation and pulled him against you, wrapping your arms around his neck. Vanilla and cologne filled the air around you. “And also a bit creeped out. How did you know I was here?”

“Uh, you have your location turned public on snapchat.” His chin was pressed against your shoulder, which made you aware of whenever he moved his jaw. It was nice being so close with him. It felt oddly more comforting than you expected. This was a terrifying feeling, but you embraced it anyways. 

“Now that you are here, would you mind staying with my dad while I run to find the doctor?” You pulled your body away slightly, arms on each of his shoulders. His body tended up, and you could see the hesitation in his face. “It will only be 5 minutes, and then we can catch up.” Before waiting for an answer you placed a small peck on his cheekbone, suddenly feeling your body heat rise. 

Noticing this, you quickly peeled yourself out of Shawn’s grasp and headed to find the doctor. As you strolled down the hallways you kept thinking about Shawn. How he smelt, the way his hair brushed your check when you hugged, torsos so close heat was radiating off each other. It was all very intimate, and very soothing. The only other man who made you feel so appreciated was your father, and who knew how much time he had left. Maybe it was a good thing you had met Shawn. Maybe he will be able to help you deal with the grief that would soon come. 

It didn’t take long before you were able to locate the doctor. He was busy talking with another nurse, his clipboard in hand and eyebrows weighted with concern. 

“Doctor, do you have a minute?” You broke his concentration, and the nurse took a few steps to the side. “I was just wondering if we’d find the test results soon. Everyone is getting a little antsy.” You tried fidgeting with your fingers to let out any sort of anxiety that you were wearing on your face, but did not feel very convincing. 

“Yes, I will be by in approximately two hours with the final results.” The doctor mentioned with a rather harsh tone. You knew he was busy with other patients but the least he could do was try and feel empathetic. Maybe there was a small misinterpretation through accents, but either way it made you think worst-case scenario. 

When you returned to your father’s room Shawn was comfortably sitting in the chair next to your father, his hands clasped together. He kept looking at the floor while listening to your father go on and on about something entirely unrelated to his sickness. Shawn’s cheeks were rosy and his leg was bouncing uncontrollably. 

Before making your presence known, you stood away from the door just to observe their interactions. 

“She means the world to me, Shawn.” Your father continued. “I may not look like the toughest man right now, but I will not hesitate if I find out you hurt my daughter.” 

“Oh, I would never sir. She is such a sweet girl, I will take care of her as best as I can.” Shawn was locked eyes with your father, full of confidence. Your stomach leaped with excitement as the words left his mouth. Even though the two of you had just became friends, there was something between you that was worth holding onto. Maybe it was his charm, or his good looks, nonetheless you were addicted to his presence. Of course you would never admit that to him, though.

  “Doc says it’ll be two more hours, pops.” Shawn immediately stood up from his seat when he heard your voice. He didn’t waste any time being away from your side, either. His shoulders toward over you as he opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when your father starting coughing. You rushed to his side to help him. Shawn stood there awkwardly before he headed out of the room. 

Before you had time to dwell on the thought of him being gone, your phone started ringing causing you to snap back to reality. The caller I.D. said it was Shawn, which made you confused as he just left the room a few minutes ago. You stepped away from your father, and answered his call. “Shawn? Is everything okay?” 

“Come meet me in the courtyard.” He definitely had something up his sleeve, which gave you a nasty sense of unease. With Shawn, this emotion is worth it. He is worth the uncomfortable silences, awkward glances, and painful anxiety. You hung up the phone without thinking twice and headed towards the courtyard. You wondered how Shawn knew this place so well, and why he cared enough to stay. 

When you found Shawn, he was accompanied by an old hospital sheet and an assortment of deli sandwiches, fruit, and pudding cups. “I managed to sweet talk the cafeteria workers into handing over some croissants.” If his voice could be translated to a color, it would be light pink. He sounded like sunsets after a day spent on the lake. Warm and full of possibility. 

“Shawn, what is this?” You were standing right in front of him, close enough you could feel this breath on your cheeks. 

“Your dad mentioned you have been putting so much focus on him, I wanted to make sure you felt cared for too.” His arms were wrapped around your lower back, which sent a tingly sensation into your stomach. “Now, lets eat and skip this hospital talk.” He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You both sat down and began sorting the food. Shawn was right, you hadn’t had time to focus on yourself. You didn’t think it had been a big deal until he mentioned it. Everyone needs someone to take after them. Now, Shawn was your person. taglist: @stockholmshawn @bluerroses @yellowmendes@itrocksmysocks @accioarmenian (sorry if i missed your user, send me a message if you want added or taken off!) 

[exosmuttytalk]

Run Away -  (FINAL) Chapter 18

Characters: OC/Oh Sehun/Exo

Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff

Summary: An aspiring western model and a tired of stardom kpop star find their ways clashing in Seoul.

PART 1

PART 17

The changes in Sehun's appearance weren't all that apparent to anyone who hadn't spent as much time as I had looking at him and getting to know him, but were definitely there. His body had always been fibrous, as he spent most of his days dancing and exercising. But the dark circles under his eyes were a new addition to his features. His hair was tousled around in a much more messy way than usual. His lips were chapped, probably because, just as he was doing at that moment, he licked them in a nervous gesture more than what he used to.

He followed me silently into my apartment and just stood there as I tried to put some order in the disastrous state of my living room and my own mind. I rumbled through the room until I felt Sehun's body next to me and his hands taking the stuff I was holding away from mine to throw it carelessly on the floor

His hands came up to cup my face so I was directly looking at his face for the first time; his thumb stroking along my jawline. He was so close I could hear his breathing coming from his mouth, his lips moist where he had licked before. His eyes were teary and roamed all over me.

''I really miss you,'' he said in a low voice.

I did for sure see it coming, but I didn't want to stop, nor did I want him to stop. His lips crashed against mine and I received them gladly. We kissed forcefully and I felt his hands already starting to roam my body, yearning and desperate, traveling down my body to cup my butt so he picked me up and laid down me over the table. Although his lips had never left mine, his hands were already unbuttoning the front of my shirt. I didn't pull him away.

********

I was awoken by the strident tone of a phone. Sehun quickly got up to answer it and went out of the room.

I rolled on bed. It was dark outside, probably the middle of the night. I recalled pulling from Sehun's hand to go to bed even though it was just the middle of the evening. We both dozed off to a light sleep and woke up some time later to kiss again, without even speaking. I still felt the kisses he had left all over my back printed on my skin and the stiffness of my limbs from having to fit next to him in a bed that was not that big.

His voice came hushed from outside the room, as if he was trying not to wake me up, but I could hear all his conversation. He was clearly arguing with some of his mates. I kept my gaze fixed at the portion of the sky I was able to see from my position, but there were no stars in the sky.

I could hear him hang up and come back quietly to the room, but I pretended to be startled when he touched my naked hip.

''Hey,'' he whispered.

''Where were you?''

''I got a phone call I had to answer.''

''Anything important?''

''Just my mom. Nothing more important than you.''

He laid down next to me and pulled me close between his arms.

''I've really missed you.''

''That's what you said some time ago.''

''That's because I mean it.''

''I never heard from you. Not even a message.'' I turned around in the bed to face him and pulled from the sheets to cover myself. ''I left the house then and you didn't even look at me. How am I supposed to believe that you've missed me?''

''To be fair, Grace, in that moment you could've well ended my carreer. You almost did.''

That took me aback and I went silent for a bit.

''I'm really sorry about that. I really don't know what went through my mind at that moment. I hated myself for it.''

''I know you are.''

His arm was still surrounding my body and caressing up and down my back, sending shivers down my spine.

''Was it bad?''

''What thing?''

''People at the company. Did they get really angry?''

''Oh!'' He was staring at the ceiling. ''It was better than I expected, to be honest. They did tell me off and gave me more hours a day to practice, but nothing outrageous.''

''Are you sure you're being honest?''

''Why do you say that?''

''Would your mother call you in the middle of the night if it wasn't to tell you something important?''

He remained silent with his eyes fixes on the ceiling.

''I talked to Rhee. I know you're not fine. And I've heard your conversation with whoever it was.''

''Sorry about that. Now the guys are forces to call me every night before they go to sleep to make sure I'm at home, so they take turns. It was Yixing. I obviously didn't pick up at home so he wanted to make sure I was okay before freaking out.''

''Will he say something?''

''No. He's being really supportive on this. He's told me off because that's what he has to do for the sake of the group, but he pities us.''

"Has anyone else also been supportive?"

"Chanyeol is sad, he was starting to like you. I think all of them feel sorry for us, even Junmyeon. But there's not much else they can do."

I laid on my back and stared at the same spot Sehun had been staring at the whole time. I always sleep on my side, so I never noticed that my ceiling somehow reflected the movements of the of the night life down in the street, creating light effects all over the room that were strangely mesmerizing.  I was pondering the decreasing amount of possibilities we had when he spoke again.

"What did Rhee tell you?"

"That you're not okay."

His soft laugh sounded sarcastic.

"That's one way to put it."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's no point," he answered shaking his head. "It's not going to fix it and it's only going to make you feel worse."

I turned around in the bed once again to put my head on his chest. His hand was stroking the ends of my hair in a very soothing movement.

"I'd rather just stay here with you, not talking about stuff that doesn't matter."

We spent the rest of the night reconnecting and trying to recover the time we had lost, but we only ever talked about the good moments we had missed in each other lives and ignored the elephant in the room, until we both fell asleep a few hours away from dawn.

******

For the second time in the night, I woke up to the very noisy ringtone from a phone that wasn't mine, but in this occasion, it wasn't dark outside. In fact, very bright lights were coming in from the windows. That was what made me jump from the bed, rather than the phone still ringing. I shook Sehun's still sleeping body and threw his phone at him before I started to get dress at my fullest speed. Poor Sehun didn't even have time to shake his sleepiness off; in the moment he answered the call, I could hear the not very pleasant voice tone of a man at the other side and his immediate apologies.

I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth as I tried to brush my hair at the same time, which made me end up with even messier hair than before. When I came out, Sehun was already fully dressed and was gathering all his stuff to leave.

"I can't believe I forgot to set the alarm again!"

"Are you in trouble?"

"Yixing's been covering up for me, he's told them he hung out with me last night at my apartment, that we went to bed late and that I'd probably overslept, but I don't know how much of that they've fallen for..." He grabbed his bag and turned around to face me. "I'm really sorry I have to leave this way, I wish we had more time."

"Don't be. I'm running late too."

He walked up to me and pulled me in a very tight embrace which raised my body a few inches off the floor.

"Sehun," I called in a quiet voice.

"Yeah?" He answered without letting go of me.

"Drop out. Just leave it and come with me. Please."

He stepped back and stared at me.

"What?"

"You're not happy doing what you do anymore. They are forcing you to do things that aren't what you want. Please, just leave it."

He was still looking at me with wide eyes, but he didn't say a word.

"I'm sure you have a lot of money to support yourself for some time, but it doesn't matter. We'll move somewhere else and make a life out of whatever we can find." I was receiving nothing more than blank stares. "I know it sounds crazy and it probably is, but please, consider it. I love you and I know you love me. We can make each other happy. We don't need any of this!"

"I love you too," he answered hesitantly.

"There's nothing I want more than waking up every day and seeing you face next to me. I know I am being selfish, but that's not going to happen if we stay here, like this. I need you in my life." His eyes were slowly filling up with tears in response to my own. "You...you don't really have to give me an answer right now. But please, promise me you'll think about it.  I will be waiting for you."

Looking back in time, my relationship with Sehun was quite redundant for the whole time it lasted. Communication was actually never our forte, and depending on the particular circumstances of the moment, there was never such communication at all. That's why I grabbed on for dear life to the littlest piece of information I got from him, especially towards the end.

That's why when I opened my mailbox one night after coming back from the café and found a rather thick cream envelope with his hand writing on the front I got my hopes up and that's why the I fell much harder than I should've. With the perspective time brings, I know now I should've seen it coming.

"Dear Grace,

I bet you're wondering what the hell am I doing sending you a letter instead of calling or texting. Or even asking you to meet. Truth be told, I feel comfortable when I write rather than talk. But the main reason is that writing allows me to shield myself and to have a moment of bravery among all the cowardice that usually drives my life.

I can't do it, Grace. There's several reasons why, but the main one is that I'm not alone. My life is not completely dependent on me and my choices, and what I decide to do with it affects other people as well. Over the last few years I've become part of a group of people that is as well interconnected and synchronized as a family should be, and that's how we truly feel about each other. This isn't just about it, it's about my brothers as well, and what's best to keep the family as close as possible. Some time ago, we lost three of our members and it was way too soon for us. Even if on the outside we seemed to be fine, the truth is we were broken inside. I don't want anyone else to go through that again and I would be selfish to inflict such pain.

I could also talk about the legal repercussions our company could take on me and the group as a whole, but I think that's quite irrelevant compared to what I've already told you.

I'm really sorry, Grace. These few months have been the happiest I've had in quite a long time; you've made me feel just so much better about my life and myself. It really has been a pleasure for me to get to know you and to discover things with you I never knew before. I've really grown to love you and I know you have as well. I guess that's another reason why I'm writing this; I just don't have what it takes to say this to your face and then carry on with my life.

To be honest, there was a time I thought you and I were the one for each other. That we could make it, together, that we would be able to stand through whatever. I still think that now, had the circumstances been different. It probably wasn't the right time for us.

I believe in you, Grace. You're a truly wonderful person, so wholesome and true to yourself among all the falseness there's in the world I live in. You're beautiful, you're incredibly strong and smart, so I know you'll do well wherever you decide to lead your life next. And that's precisely what you have to do, if you want any advice from the man who cannot even face his own problems. You are completely free to be whoever you want, wherever you want and however you want, and for that I envy you. I can only hope the decisions you make along the way somehow lead you back into my life in a better moment for us both.

If I have to be honest with you, I've been avoiding this moment the whole time I've been writing, but I need to address the subject before the letter is over. In case you haven't seen it yet, there are a couple rolls of money inside the envelope. I don't want you to take it as bribery of any sort. I'm not buying your silence, nor do I expect you not to be angry with me by paying you. I'm also well aware you're more than able to support yourself and you are not looking for anyone's charity. I'm not really sure why I've included that and it was a last minute decision, but please take it. I'm not able to be there to see you being happy, so I guess I just wanted to provide whatever I could to make you find your own happiness. If you want to go on modelling, do it, you're really awesome at it. If you're happy being a waitress, so be it. If you want to move to Australia, invest in a kangaroo farm and that makes you happy, so be it. I don't care what you do with the money, but please, use it to be happier than you are now.

There's not much left for me to say. I just hope you know I truly love you and want you to be the happiest you can. Also, I hope you are able to forgive me some day and not hate me for a very long time.

Please, be happy. Please, take care of yourself. I love you and I'm going to miss you every day, Gracie.

Sehun"

A/N: This is the end. Now’s the time you want to kill me.

PART 1

PART 17

MASTERLIST!?

[autisticteru]

A Kick in the Teeth is Good for Some - CHAPTER 8

Summary: All Ritsu wants is to move on and be happy with his life. But something keeps growing inside him. From his stomach to his chest to his throat and out his eyes and mouth, until it fully surrounds him making it impossible to ignore. He can cut it down, but it will just grow back. He needs to destroy it, to pull it up from the roots. And he thinks he finally knows how. But there’s only one person who can help with that. Unfortunately, that person is Teruki Hanazawa.

Read on AO3 HERE

Read from the beginning HERE

Individual chapters:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Check out fanart for this chapter! (x) 

Chapter 8: Fool

What happens next?

It’s a question that begs answering. Ritsu Kageyama technically had everything he wanted. He had good grades. He was popular. His relationship with his brother was closer than ever. He even had the psychic powers he had long dreamed of. And to top it all off, he had a new best friend.

His name was Shou Suzuki. He was a thirteen year old esper, and a powerful one at that. Energetic, typically upbeat, and highly protective of the ones he loved, Shou was everything Ritsu could have ever asked for in a friend. So when he revealed that he would be attending Salt Middle School as a second year, Ritsu was beyond excited.

Well, he sucked at showing it, but it was the truth! Which was why Ritsu brought up studying sessions as soon as it was mentioned. Shou was certainly strong, but he lacked book smarts. Ritsu could only assume whatever educational system Claw had must have sucked. Not surprising. It started two weeks before the end of Ritsu's first year of middle school Ritsu had started going over to Shou’s mother's house, and they exchanged skills. Ritsu needed to help Shou catch up so he wouldn’t fail on his first day of classes. And Shou wanted to help Ritsu reach his full potential as an esper. And both of them wanted an excuse to spend more time together.

And it should have stayed that way. It should have stayed that way.

Ritsu was a fool.

“Ritsu, this is boring!” Shou whined.

“It’s really not.”

“How do you not find this boring? It’s math, Ritsu! The worst subject!”

“You just think it’s the worst subject because you refuse to understand it. You’re just panicking at the sight of numbers.”

“I’m not panicking! And I don’t understand it because it’s hard!”

“Here,” Ritsu cleared the desk and grabbed a new blank sheet of paper and wrote down the math problem from the text book on it. “Look at this problem. What do you see?”

“A bunch of nonsense numbers and letters.”

“Exactly. That’s what your version of ‘math’ looks like. So just pretend for a second that this isn’t math and start thinking of it as a puzzle.”

“A puzzle?”

“That’s what every math problem is. It’s about finding creative and quick solutions to a problem. And every puzzle has a set of rules and boundaries that you need to follow. Here, look.”

Ritsu started circling letters and numbers on the paper and stated each of their rules.

“So if we know what Y equals, we have to adjust X in order to match it. And the result is the coordinates you need to create the line. So if you know that, then can you draw the line using simple math?”

Ritsu handed Shou the pencil. Shou was hesitant at first, but he took the pencil and started writing. It took a while, but eventually Shou managed to draw a messy, yet accurate line across the grid Ritsu had mapped out for him.

“Is that...right?”

“Yes! You did it!”

“Ah! So it’s that simple?”

“No, it gets much harder.”

“Dammit!” Shou threw his head onto the table.

“Well everything gets more complicated. There are some times when equations like these become illogical. But even then, there are ways to solve them.”

“How can they get so complicated while following such a rigid set of rules?”

“Rules make things more complicated. If there were no rules, there wouldnt be any complications. You could just do whatever you want. You could say two plus two equals seven and you’d be right.”

Shou snickered and pushed his chair away as he got up.

“Okay!” he said. “I’m officially done with math!”

“You just graphed a straight line.”

“And I’m done! Let’s train now, Ritsu.”

“You really need to focus more, Suzuki. In school you can’t just get up and do whatever you want whenever you want.”

“I’m not in school yet, though!”

Ritsu sighed and stood up. He wasn’t in the mood to argue with a brick wall. Although his stubbornness had a certain charm to it. There was a sense of innocence to it.

Innocence.

What an odd word. What defines innocence, exactly?

...

Ritsu was a fool.

“Hey. Wake up.”

Those were the first words Ritsu heard when he regained his consciousness. Why was he unconscious in the first place? Ritsu tried to remember as he slowly opened his eyes and tried to get used to the light.

What day was it again? Thursday. Teru had been trying to show Ritsu different psychic techniques throughout the training. But the first day started off poorly.

“You almost pulled it off, so I know you have the ability.”

“That’s all I can do, though.”

“If you think that, then nothings going to change.”

Nothing ever changes.

It only got worse as the days went by.

“If you’re scared, you’ll never beat him! You’ll never improve!”

“This is all I can do!”

“Then that’s all you ever will do!”

Teru turned around and picked up the backpack. That was… yesterday? Maybe. Ritsu hadn’t been sleeping much, so all the days were blurring together.

But for some reason, Ritsu found himself unable to make the next big step in his improvement. It was as though something was tying him down every time he tried something new. It wrapped itself tightly around his heart, making Ritsu unable to move. Struggling only made it grow, and wrap itself tighter. It was suffocating. It was in his throat again.

No wonder Teru had been getting more and more pissed off. The first week was fine. Why was this week going so poorly?

“Maybe you should invite your brother over for the training as well. I’m sure he’d support you.”

Ritsu remembered those words that Teru had uttered on the bus that Monday morning. He remembered the way they pierced his chest like a sword. What was he feeling in that moment, exactly? Guilt? Well, guilt was certainly a part of it. But there was another feeling as well. Was it envy? Maybe. But that feeling was too familiar. If it were envy, Ritsu could recognize the emotion right away. But envy wasn’t far off from the truth. It was something close.

Jealousy.

That was the conclusion that he had come to. Jealousy had always been a bit different than envy, to Ritsu. Envy is internal. It focuses on what you don’t have, and it eats away at you. It compares you to others. Jealousy is external. It focuses on what others have, and it compares others to you. The difference between the two is so subtle, only one who has experience with both could truly understand.

And Ritsu knew envy like an old friend. And he knew that this wasn’t quite envy. But why jealousy? What was he jealous of? His brother’s power? No, that wasn’t it.

Was it Teru?

Ritsu rose up onto his feet so fast he nearly found himself blacking out again.

“Hey, don’t pass out again,” said Teru, although there was more annoyance in his voice than there was concern. As Ritsu’s vision cleared up, he found himself standing beside the bus stop bench by the forrest. Teru was sitting on the edge of the bench. The sun was low in the sky, though it wasn’t yet setting.

“Are we…?” Ritsu started while grabbing his head.

“Yeah. We’re done for today.”

“What happened?”

“It was my bad. I overestimated you, is all. Sorry.”

How passive-agressive. Though that was nothing new as of this week. Ritsu wanted to respond but Teru started again.

“I didn’t expect you to win the spar, but I also didn’t expect my attack to knock you out. It would have been easy to block if you would move outside your comfort zone once in a while, but I suppose I was wrong about you.”

Ritsu wanted to speak, but he had nothing to say. This was the first time he had seen Teru so pissed off and serious. It would have been less frightening if he was actually trying to kill him.

“Ritsu, tell me,” said Teru, “Why are you really doing this?”

“I already told you.”

“You’ll never beat him.”

“What?”

“I wanted you to surprise me, but so far this has been a waste of time. You can technically become stronger, but every time you improve on something you panic and go back into your comfort zone. It’s predictable. You’re predictable. You act like you don’t have any emotions but I can see them clear as day on your face. I’m not here to fix you, Ritsu, I’m here to train you. If you want to be fixed get a goddamn therapist.”

“H-hey! Wh-” Ritsu was interrupted by the sound of the bus stopping at the bench. Teru stood up and forced something into his hand.

“This is the money for the bus ride back. This bus will take you closer to your house so you don’t have to walk too far back. I’m taking the next one. Tomorrow you either show up ready to train or don’t show up at all. Bye.”

And with that, Teru shoved Ritsu forward onto the bus.

Mob’s parents were out seeing some friends, so Mob was left home alone. He was just watching TV when he heard the doorbell ring.

“Coming!” he called out as he walked over to the door. But when he opened it, he was surprised to see a familiar boy with red spikey hair standing in the doorway.

“S-Suzuki?!”

“Ah, you’re Ritsu’s brother!” said Shou with an uncharacteristically nervous voice. “Is he home? I really need to talk to him.”

“Ritsu…” Mob’s stomach sank. “He said he was hanging out with you.”

“What?”

[makayladunn1993]

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How Do I Steal My Ex Boyfriend Back