#i think susie should date everyone

[lisandyk]

i like krusie too. have i ever mentioned that

[morganbritton132]

Idk if you’ve mentioned it before but what is everyone in the Party’s jobs?? We already know Erica is a kickass politician and Lucas is the family embarrassment doctor but what does everyone else do besides bug Steve lol?

Also is Dustin still with Susie or did that ship sail away in the EMTTS?? <333

So, fun fact about me: I am not a big fan of future AUs. I don’t particularly like reading them and I’ve never written one prior to the Tiktok Saga. I think the problem I have with them is that it’s really hard to determine where a character should be thirty-odd years down the road. How or why a one-off post about Eddie being bad with technology turned into all this, I do not know.

I don’t have everybody’s job picked out because I don’t really think about it until it’s relevant to the story, but luckily, I do spend way too much time thinking about this AU so I have few that haven’t been mentioned.

The ones that have been mentioned: Steve is a teacher, Eddie’s a musician, Nancy’s a journalist, Jonathan’s a photographer, Lucas is a doctor, and Erica is a senator.

I think Argyle owns a very successful marijuana dispensary in California where him and Jonathan live and it gives him the freedom to travel with Jonathan when he goes out of town for business. Argyle just has the vibe that should not be working a nine-to-five. Also, I think that Argyle as an old man stoner with long completely gray hair is just so cool.

Robin is also a teacher, but she teaches at a university in the linguistics department. She spoke four languages when she joined the party, she now speaks nine. She’s written a book. She has a kickass rating on Rate My Professor. She’s likely the front runner to take over the department once the current dean retires next year.

I really like the idea of Max becoming a physical therapist. She had a long road to recovery after Venca and spent over a year in physical therapy just learning how to walk again. She knows what it’s like. She knows when and how hard to push her patients, and she’s good at the job. This also makes Max a doctor so Erica includes Max when she says that Lucas is the worst Sinclair.

I’m less defined on what kind of careers that Will, Mike, and El have. I just haven’t found a job that I’m like, yes, that makes perfect sense for that character. I do think that Will has a career where he can be creative and that he’s successful, I just haven’t narrowed it down to what exactly he does.

Mike and El, on the other hand, I have no idea. I mentioned before that Mike had a band that opened up for Eddie on CC’s first national tour and I imagine that he did one summer or during his gap year before college (if he went to college). El, I like to think, travels a lot and has got to see the world and be free of the responsibility of saving the world. But those two, I think, are tough to pin down to a specific career.

Now, for Dustin.

Dustin has had a very successful career as a researcher and his career has taken him all over the world. Now what exactly does he research? That’s up to you. This man is a scientist and that’s all Steve and Eddie can tell you about Dustin’s job because it’s just over of their heads. He loves it and that’s all they need to know.

Dustin and Suzie are currently not together. They have dated off and on since they’ve known each other and have always split on good terms. It has just always been the wrong time for them because when they’re together, they’re great. They hit it off and decide to start dating again, and then they just get busy. They’re both top of their field and work crazy long hours all over the world, and the cost of that is their relationship.

I think they both kinda know that one day, they’ll meet up at the right time, but for now, they’re good friends and they date other people. Steve thinks that they’re soulmates and he’ll randomly give Dustin an update that Suzie is single again. Dustin is always like, “How do you know that?”

“We’re friends on Facebook.”

[nightqueen1221]

Hii! Just found ur blog anddd I love it. I was wondering if I could request Deltarune main 3 (Kris, Susie, Ralsei. Also romantic) hcs for a reader with adhd? Thanks :) keep up the good workkk!!

I have quite a few requests for a reader having ADHD, again, I don't have it so it might not be entirely accurate.

Kris Dreemur

-Doesn't even really notice.

-They just see you spaced put or doing something that would usually be you fidgeting.

-If you space out a lot, they'll give you a somewhat light nudge on the shoulder to get you back down to Earth.

-If you do stuff with your hands, they'll either start holding your hands or rubbing the back of one while gesturing towards what you should be paying attention to.

-If you tap your feet or something like that, they'll just rest their foot on top of your's to get you to focus.

-The most common way to get you back too reality is with snapping their fingers.

-They notice you're not really all there and they'll just be like... "Pay attention."

-Of course, they have never out right said this due to the player.

-But they do everything in their power to get you to stop spacing out.

Susie

-(Made me think of this video)

-Anyways, you'll probably have to explain to her what ADHD is.

-She knows you don't mean to not pay attention, but she can get irritated by it.

-She could be talking and you just, walk away.

-Again, she knows you don't mean it, but it can be frustrating.

-"Hey, nerd. Pay attention." Is something you'll hear more than what you would think.

-If someone talked back you to you about it, and in a good way, I'm mean more like, "How could you forget this one thing even if it's not all that important."

-She be all like, "Maybe you should do it yourself if you're going to complain."

-However if it was something truly important, she do her best to get you to focus on the task. Even if she doesn't stay all that focused herself.

-(And since you two are dating, she might give you a kiss to try and get you back.)

-She's still learning, but trying her best.

Ralsei

-Might also need some understanding what it is.

- He sees what you're more likely to be interested in rather than just hoping you listen.

-He'll try and explain things to you using those terms, but it could sometimes sound like the, "How do you do, fellow kids?" Meme.

-His way of trying to get you to stop spacing out is a light tap on your hand or shoulder. Maybe a few words to make sure you're here.

-Now Ralsei obviously knows the most about darkeners and lighteners, especially the Dark World.

-So he could be talking about something that might kill everyone if not taken with caution. It worries him if you're not listening.

-He might ask you some questions afterward regarding the topic just to make sure you weren't in the middle of spacing out.

-Other than that he isn't worried.

[elidoesntbreathwee]

Ever since Dustin got back from camp, he wouldn't shut up about Steve and Robin being perfect for each other. At first, Steve had thought it would be nice to date Robin, but after being high on truth serum with her, he realized that he wouldn't want that as much as before. Dustin, however, would not stop insisting that they should date.

"You guys would be perfect, like me and Susie!" Dustin would argue, "Plus, you guys are always around each other, and you're basically already dating!"

"Okay, so if we're already dating in your 'genius'" Steve made air quotes with his fingers, "eyes, why can't you just leave it alone? You do realize that when I'm at work, I'm supposed to be doing my job, right?" Steve added on.

It was mostly Steve that had to deal with Dustin's obnoxiousness, but Robin was sometimes graciously gifted some of his comments as well.

"I'm just saying, you two would be good together." Dustin shrugged, as if he were stating an objective fact, which, in all fairness, he kind of was, just not in the romantic sense that he had implied.

"Ewww? Me and Dingus? No way, I can't stand that guy!" Robin said, clearly unserious by the way she drew out words. "Seriously though, kid. There isn't anything romantic going on between me and Steve, and there won't be. Ever. We're platonic with a capitol 'P'"

Dustin rolled his eyes, not accepting that that was the end of it, but he didn't say much else to Robin after that. He did, however, say a whole lot to the rest of the party.

Steve and Robin had enjoyed their two (2) weeks of calm before the storm, because, oh boy, they were not prepared for this.

It started with more persistence from Dustin to Steve that Steve had just brushed off, then Max saying something about how attached at the hip they were at a group hangout. Mike said something, then Will made a small comment following it. Lucas made the occasional joke about it, and every one would laugh while Steve and Robin would let out a nervous chuckle.

One night, while everyone was hanging out, Nancy had made a joke about them. Everyone laughed, and Steve and Robin did their usual, but five (5) minutes later, they both excused themselves to go outside.

"Steve! Steve, what do I do!" Robin panicked

"Okay, calm down, Rob. Just breath with me, okay? It's okay." He took in a breath, and Robin followed. They let out their breaths.

"Alright," Steve started "you wanna tell me what's up?"

"I- You know how I told you I didn't like Vicky anymore. That I like someone else?" Steve nodded. "Okay, well that, um... ok, that someone is... Nancy." Robin looked at Steve to see his reaction, but surprisingly, there wasn't really one, Steve just gave her an encouraging smile, letting her go on. "A-and she made the dumb joke, about us being together and stuff, and I don't know if she really thinks we're like that or if it was just a joke, or if she was just going along with everyone else and making a joke about it and I just really hope it's not the first because... i don't really know, because I'm not sure I have a chance with her to begin with and and and I dont know, Steve!" Robin sighed

"Hey, don't worry, Robin, and thanks for telling me about Nancy." Steve smiled. "But we're gonna figure this out, okay, and we'll do it together."

"Thanks, dingus" Robin paused. "Hug?"

"Why not!"

Steve wasn't really used to hugs, and physical affection in general, but Robin was helping him get a bit more comfortable with it.

When the two (2) walked back in, no one (thankfully) said anything, or made any of their jokes, which was a relief for Steve and Robin, and they went back to watching the movie that had been paused for intermission when Nancy made her comment, but since intermission was strictly fifteen (15) minutes long, and Robin and Steve had been talking for a bit longer than that, the group had started the movie back up without them. Nancy and Eddie, as well as Jonathan and his friend from California, Argyle, made room for them on the couch, although the four (4) of them we're already a little squished. Robin and Steve Squeezed in where the most room was, between Nancy and Eddie, Steve letting Robin sit next to Nancy now that he knew about her crush.

Robin could barely focus on the movie, not to say she minded much, seeing as she'd already seen it once or twice, but she was also sitting right next to Nancy. Steve had stat down next to Eddie, and Robin had thanked Steve with her eyes for letting her sit by Nancy. She knew her chances with Nancy were pretty slim, but not impossible, especially since she and Jonathan had broken up. Robin didn't really know the details to that, she just knew that they both wanted different things for their futures and decided it's be better to break up, rather than stick together and end up with a bunch of resentment. Nancy may have been single, but that didn't mean she liked girls, and even if she did like girls, liking girls didn't mean she liked Robin, either. Things did not look good for Robin, but she had hope, as well as help promised from Steve. Plus Nancy's hand kept grazing against Robin's own, though she may be over-exanimating it, maybe she really had a shot with Nancy.

Another time, Dustin and Max had been hounding Steve on why he wouldn't just get with Robin during another intermission.

"I already told you, we're strictly platonic! With a capitol 'P'! There is nothing more there! We're best friends, okay, that's it." Steve told them.

"You sure about that? Because that's usually what people say when they like someone. 'oh no, i dont like them, we're just friends'" Dustin said the last part in a high pitched voice.

"We're not dating! We're not going to date! And we never will, Dustin, I'm getting tired of this, ok." Steve complained when Max spoke up

"If one of you'd just admit it, then we could stop."

Steve groaned.

"Robin!" She ran over.

"What's up?" Robin asked Steve.

"Please, save me form these monsters." Steve rubbed his nose bridge as Dustin claimed that they weren't monsters.

"Who's a monster?" Eddie asked, coming back form the kitchen with a bucket of popcorn. "By the way, popcorn!" He offered the bucket, for anyone to take a handful but Dustin took the whole bucket, and Max took it from Dustin.

"Dustin" Steve sighed. "and Max. Those are the culprits. The 'monsters' if you will."

"What is it, Stevie? Can't take jokes about you're own girlfriend?" Eddie smiled. Steve did not; His eyes glazed over like he was about to cry. He grabbed Robin by the wrist and led her outside quickly.

"Steve!?" Eddie yelled behind them, but decided to wait until they come back inside to apologize "Hey, Dustin. Max. Maybe lay off the jokes about them. I don't think they think they're as funny as you do." Dustin and Max nodded, then went to tell the rest of the party to lay off some as well (though they were the ones who did it the most)

"Robs, I don't know what to do. I mean, It's like with Nancy, like you. But me. But Eddie. And he said- I dont-... He-... Robin, what do I do?" Steve could hardly breath

"First, we're gonna breath. Remember? Like we did for me?" Robin breathed in "In." Steve breathed. "Out." They let out their breaths and repeated it until their breathing was steady. "Okay. What's up Stevie?"

"Eddie..." Steve breathed in, looked at Robin. "I like Eddie. And he made one of those stupid jokes too." Steve started to cry "It shouldn't bother me. It didn't even bother you this much, like, you didn't cry, so why am I crying? It's stupid."

"Hey, it's not stupid." Robin placed her hands on Steve's shoulders. "Everyone goes through things differently. It's ok, Steve."

"Robs?"

"Hm?"

"Hug?"

"Of course" Robin went to hug him, but Steve pause.

"Can I also tell you something else?"

"Yeah, anytime, Stevie."

"I- I know this probably, like, goes without saying, because... Eddie, and stuff, but, I like more then girls... I, yeah. I also like boys." Steve breathed

"Thanks for telling me Steve" Robin smiled and pulled him in for a hug.

When they walked back in, Steve expected it to be like last time, for no one to really care where they had gone. For the most part, no one had cared, the movie was playing, and most everyone was in the living room of Steve's house watching the movie. Everyone but Eddie.

"Steve!" Eddie said. "Hey, I think I owe you an apology." Eddie walked over to where Steve and Robin where standing.

Steve looked back at Robin, and she asked with her eyes if he wanted her to stay or go. Steve nodded towards the living room, and she went in to watch the movie with the rest of the party, leaving Steve and Eddie in the kitchen.

"It's really fine, Eddie. You don't need to apologize for anything." Steve smiled tightly.

"No, I do, Stevie. I shoulda realized that you didn't like those jokes about you and Robin, and I shouldn't have made one. I told Dustin and Max to nock it off, so they should be off your case, and hopefully the rest of the kids will be too. I just- you shouldn't have to keep telling them the same thing and have them not believe you, even if it's a joke." Eddie sympathized, his doe eyes staring right into Steve's, while Steve's were flicking up and down on Eddie's face while he was talking.

Steve couldn't tell if it was from what Eddie said, or because he had been crying not long ago, but he felt the need to cry again. He swallowed thickly, trying to hold back his tears, searching Eddie's face. He didn't do a very good job at holding his tears in, because he could feel one fall down his cheek. Eddie wiped the his cheek, caressing it.

"Sorry, I didn't mea-" Steve is cut off by Eddie shushing him, looking at him sweetly. Everything about the moment, the way Eddie is touching him and looking at him, how close they are, it makes him feel warm inside. It makes him wish he could feel this feeling everyday, so much that it was second nature to feel this way.

"It's ok, Stevie. Don't worry." Eddie said stroking Steve's cheek, Steve leaning closer toward him, unable to stop his body from wanting to be closer to Eddie.

"Eddie?"

"Steve." Eddie raised his eyebrows.

"Can I... tell you something... important?" Steve looked away from Eddie's eyes and swallowed.

"Of course you can." Eddie tried to meet his eyes, Steve deciding that he could look back at Eddie's

He took a deep breath. "I... I don't just uhm..."

"It's ok, man. You can tell me if you want to, but you dont have to."

"No, no, I want to." Steve took another breath, and Eddie rubbed his cheek once more, hoping to encourage him. "Eddie. I dont just like girls. I, um, i like guys too. Both, y'know." Steve looked at Eddie, hoping he wouldn't push Steve away and never talk to him again. Maybe he should've chosen a different time to tell Eddie this, one where he didn't feel so warm and, well, right.

"Thank you for telling me Steve. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to tell me." Eddie smiled at him, and Steve breathed out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and smiled back at him. "And, uhm, since we're already on the subject. I also like guys. But, uh, just guys. Yeah."

Steve's smile widened. "Thanks for trusting me, Eddie."

It was silent for a little while, but not an awkward or uncomfortable silence. They we're just there together, looking at each other. They'd come closer together now, Eddie's hand that wasn't caressing Steve's cheek was now holding Steve's waist, and Steve's on Eddie's shoulders.

"Stevie?" Eddie asked.

Steve hummed in response.

"Can I kiss you?"

Steve nodded. "Please"

Robin had sat next to Nancy on the couch when she went into the living room. There had been an empty seat that no one had taken so she decided to take it, plus there was the added bonus that definitely wasn't the main reason she sat there of sitting next to her crush. When she sat down she was glad she had already seen the movie they were watching before, because she realized that she'd be thinking about Nancy the whole time she was supposed to be watching the movie.

"Hey." Nancy whispered, smiling at her, pulling her out of her thoughts. She's beautiful, Robin thought, she's like the sun. Robin wondered if she was warm like the sun as well, she wanted to know everything about her.

"Hey." Robin whispered back.

"You've seen this before right?" Nancy started shifting so her whole body was facing Robin, while Robin hummed a response. "You like it?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's alright. What about you? What do you think?" Robin asked her.

"Yeah, it's alright." Nancy paused. "Robin."

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all the jokes about you and Steve. From the kids and for the one from me, they were dumb and i should have stopped the kids, and myself from telling them. So I'm sorry." Nancy looked at Robin, hoping she'd accept her apology.

"It's ok, thanks for apologizing" Robin smiled at Nancy and she smiled back. Nancy looked at Robin, leaning closer to her. "Can I-" Nancy hummed in response before she could finish. Robin leaned in, but then she looked behind Nancy, seeing the kids, realizing that they shouldn't do this here. "Let's go in the kitchen." Robin says, her face inches away from Nancy's, as she starts to stand up. Robin offers her hand to Nancy, and they walk into the kitchen.

Robin had stopped in her tracks as soon as they walked into the kitchen, though. She had totally forgotten that Steve had been in there with Eddie! They had only been looking at each other, heavily breathing though, hands caught in each other's hair.

"Ooh-" Robin said, in shock.

Steve and Eddie both wiped their heads to see Robin and Nancy standing at the kitchen doorway, all of them red in the face.

"I- sorry. Um, congrats though, Steve?" Robin says awkwardly, almost sounding like she was asking Steve if she was congratulating him.

"Oh- yeah, thanks. You too, right?" Steve looked at the floor awkwardly.

"Oh, ehh, not quite yet..." Robin pursed her lips, while Nancy's face scrunched up in confusion. Her eyes went wide, suddenly understanding what she meant, remembering what they had originally went into the kitchen for. She turned to Robin and brought her hand up to cover their mouths. Nancy placed her hand on the back of Robin's neck, tilted her own head, and kissed her, Robin kissing her back.

Eddie looks away from them to Steve, who's smiling at Robin.

"Hey, Stevie?" He whispers.

"Yeah? What's up?" Steve replies, looking away from Robin to look at Eddie.

"We should leave them alone, yeah?" Steve nodded. "Your room?" Eddie raised his eyebrows and grinned, Steve rolled his eyes, trying (and failing) to suppress a smile, and grabbed his hand, stepping back from him.

"As you wish." Steve led Eddie up the stairs into his room, leaving Nancy and Robin in the kitchen.

"Robin." Nancy said, pulling away, still right next to her face.

"Yeah, Nance?"

"You're beautiful." Nancy smiled at Robin, who's cheeks reddened. Just then they heard a loud thump followed by laughter.

"Dumbasses." Robin said with a smile, resting her forehead on Nancy's as the evening turned into night, and friends turned into lovers.

-

AN: Hello, I hope u enjoyed this :)) it was very fun to write, though it to be a bit to do it!! A like or reblog would be SUPER DUPER appreciated!! have an awesome day <333

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic 3: Maya Learns

Today we'll be going back in time to see how Maya learned about Susanna's fetish and started dating her. This does have hiccups, but not a whole lot, and it's more on the feelingsy, story-y type side. I've written one 3.5 that's all feelings, so hopefully I'll write another 3.5 that's all hiccups later. We'll see.

Character Sheet

TW: Inebriation, Gender?, Anger, Emotional meltdown, Self-loathing, Kink anxiety

Kinks: Hiccups (Relatively small amount), inebriation

"Blaaaaaa-aaagh!" I threw myself into the backseat of Olivia's car along with my half-asleep, hiccuping, drunk teammate. I was halfway drunk myself, which was one of the many reasons I wasn't driving us home from the away game, but I was sober enough to make sure Kaeligh's ass was belted in, at least. I was also sober enough to be in a bad mood. "Hey, Liv! Anyone ever tell you your girlfriend's a real pain in the dick?"

"She's not my girlfriend, but yeah."

I let Kaeligh lean on me and drool on my shoulder while I pouted. "I don't get you two."

"We don't get you either, Maya," Liv said, completely focused on the road even though she hadn't started driving yet.

"How come she's not riding home with us anyway?"

The ancient minivan grumbled as Liv shifted it out of park. I couldn't believe that anyone in our goddamn college actually knew how to drive stick, much less owned one of the fuckers. "Because she's riding back home with Charlie."

I rolled my eyes and made a jerk-off motion. "You know that's not what the fuck I meant, Liv. Seriously, I don't understand Susie at all. I get you. You make sense. And when you don't make sense, I can just have you explain shit."

"More people should be like that," she said, and even though I was too grumpy to say it out loud, I agreed with her. "Susanna doesn't make understanding her easy. She never has. What's specifically annoying you about her right now? Was it when she told the other team's three that if she smoked around me she'd break her bong over her head?"

I snorted. "Nah, that was hilarious. It's just...she's so fucking mysterious and weird and stupid about the most random shit! Like, I don't think she's fishing for compliments, not on purpose, so why the fuck does she keep saying she sucks at rugby?"

"Because she's the slowest and physically the weakest on the team."

"Yeah, but so?" I shook my head. "Does she seriously not get that when a normal person gets hit by someone a hundred pounds heavier than them, they immediately fall the fuck down? They don't give physics the finger and stay up long enough to chuck the fucking ball!"

After a moment of thought, Liv nodded. "Yeah. She seriously doesn't get that."

"Does she not have eyes? God...dammit, Kay, stop trying to kiss me, you smell like Four Loko. And not in a good way." Kaeligh muttered and hiccuped something, but at least she listened.

"No, her eyes work fine. But she only sees things that she's actually looking for. And she's never looking for things she does well."

"God that girl's fucked up." I crossed my arms and sulked.

"...you're still worried about something, aren't you Maya?"

I huffed and took off my glasses, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "I get why Susie says you're annoying now."

"Yeah, I get that too. But I'm right."

I glanced over at Kaeligh. She seemed to be snoring enough to at least be mostly unconscious. "...okay, did Kay offend her or something?"

"No, she'd have said so if she did."

"Then what the fuck is up? Because she's avoiding her, right? I can tell. That's why she's in Chuck's car instead of yours."

Liv heaved a sigh as she pulled onto the highway, sticking to the left lane and barely pushing her rustbucket up to the speed limit. "Yeah, she is. But I can't explain why. Everyone's life would be a lot simpler if I could, or if she'd just be in the car anyway, but she isn't here and she doesn't let me because she's stupid."

"Man, no kidding." After a long moment, I sighed. "How the fuck am I supposed to get through to her, Liv? I like her. I think she's interesting."

"Yeah. I like her too."

"So how'd you do it?"

Olivia was silent for a long while. "...I guess I didn't let her run. She can say what she doesn't want. She's really good at that. So assume that if she hasn't said anything she still wants you around. You've gotta push her. And it feels kind of weird saying that because I'd really hate it if someone did that to me."

I frowned. "Yeah, I'd hate that too. And I know some people gotta be pushed like that, but..." After a long moment, I decided I could be honest with her. "But I know I can go too far with it. I've done that before. Are you sure she'll tell me if I'm fucking up?"

"Positive," she said. "Sometimes she'll be uncomfortable and not explain that, and that's really annoying, but if she's upset at you, she'll say so. And it's not hard to tell the difference between her being fake upset and real upset." After a bit of silence, Liv sighed. "I think Susanna just can't accept the fact that good things can happen to her."

"How the fuck does a person get to be that way?"

"A lot of Catholic school, probably."

"God damn. Literally." I stared out the window and watched other cars zoom past us. What the fuck was up with that tiny lesbian? I really really really needed to know.

That Friday I got a chance to try and learn more. When I heard a knock on my dorm room's door, I opened it, halfway dressed and having been mid-post-class nap. "What."

"It's six." A skinny brown blur said in front of me. After a moment, I realized that I recognized Olivia's voice. I also saw a tiny mostly-black blur by her side and context-clued that it was Susie. "You said that was when the pregame would start."

...shit, they actually thought we'd start pregaming at fucking six? Damn. I swore that I wasn't this naive as a freshman. "Cool. Cool. C'mon in. I'll, uh...beers. Yeah."

"I'm not coming. Only Susanna is."

"Ex-fucking-scuse me?" I saw the tan blob near the top of the black blur twist towards the brown blur, and I snorted.

"I told you I wouldn't be coming to the party. And the list online said not to pregame if you won't go to the party." Oh my god, they looked up a fucking listicle to learn how parties worked? What fucking turnip truck did these two roll off of? And how had I ended up boning Liv a week after meeting her if they were this fucking...pure?

God, I had so many questions.

"So what, you're just gonna abandon me to—" The answer must have been "yes", because the black blur was pushed inside, and the brown blur shut the door behind her. "...cool. Uh, if you wanna go back to sleep, you can."

"Pff, bullshit. Like I'm letting your ass escape now."

"...great." I wrapped an arm around the blob that I was 98% sure was Susie and led her over to the chair next to my desk, shoving her into it and feeling around for my glasses. Eventually, she reached out and put them in my hand like a magical helpful spirit of darkness. Or something. I was still waking up. Once I put them on, I was able to confirm that it was, in fact, Susie, and she was, in fact, glaring at me. That wasn't weird though. "You wanna put on a shirt or something?" She said, and it occurred to me that I was wearing nothing up top but a bra.

"Nah, we're both girls here." I moved back towards my bed, then paused. "Unless we're not? I mean, it's chill either way."

Susie opened her mouth, let it hang open, then closed it and pursed her lips. "I'll, uh...I'll get back to you on that one."

"Fair 'nough." I scrounged under my bed and pulled out a box of beers, grabbing one and giving it to her before pulling out one of my own. "You ever drink?"

"Does wine that tastes like it's literally 2000-year-old blood count?"

Whaaaat the fuck? "...I'm gonna say no on that one, chief."

"Then no. Do these need a bottle opener or—"

"Nah, it's a twistie." Susie pulled one hand inside one of her massive hoodie sleeves, then twisted the cap and managed to get it open. After a long moment, she put her lips to the bottle and took a sip. "So? Whadaya think?"

"It, uh, definitely tastes." She burped softly. "Don't dislike it as much as I thought I would though."

"Think you might be more into girly fruity type drinks?"

"Might be easier at least. If Olivia was ever gonna drink, it'd have to be something like that. If she tasted this, she'd probably light the entire box on fire." Even so, Susie took another sip. "Oh, fuck, that reminds me. Olivia's, uh, pregame research said we shouldn't come empty-handed and that carbo-loading was important, so we ordered pizza. She tried to plan it so that it'd arrive here at the same time we did, but, uh...well, pizza places aren't exactly that fucking reliable."

"Dude, have you two ever been to, like, any parties?"

"No."

I blinked and stared at Susie. She stared right back at me. "...no, you know what, that makes sense. Yeah. Well, I definitely wouldn't say no to pizza. 'Specially with someone else paying. So, what's got you here tonight? I know you haven't come to any before, and it damn sure wasn't 'cause I haven't invited you."

Susie looked down at the brown bottle she was holding. It was wider than a lot of bottles, so she had to use both of her tiny hands to hold it comfortably, and goddamn if that wasn't cute as fuck. "Well, I knew this one was going to be at the Queer house. And, uh..." She reached into her hood and scratched the back of her head. "I mean, besides Olivia, I've never really been around other Queer people my age. So I don't really know what they...what we...do?"

Huh. That was...something. "Your high school was a normal one, right? You not have a GSA?"

"I mean, maybe we did, maybe we didn't. I don't actually know. For most of high school it was just...me and Olivia."

God, I had so many questions about these two. If their lives were as sad as Susie made them sound, why wasn't Liv more emo? If their lives were as normal as Liv made them sound, then why was Susie so emo? How the heck did these two go together? What did they have in common? Maybe it was a weird poly thing about me, but I was almost more attracted to their relationship than I was to either of them.

I was still pretty friggin' attracted to both of them, though, as Susie reminded me when she pulled off her hood. I had no idea why the fuck she kept it up so much because her face was fucking adorable.

Hm. Given how scary she liked to try and look, maybe that was why she kept it up all the time.

Susie's phone blinged with a text. "Ah, shit, pizza guy's outside. Okay, could you keep the door open for me? I'm not gonna be able to get it together while I hold a whole fucking pizza." I nodded and she went off. While she was gone, I took a look at her beer bottle.

...there was a tiny bit of lip gloss on it. Shit, she wore makeup for this? Maybe she really did wanna be here.

Over the next hour and a half, it was just the two of us, but I didn't really mind. If any of those other bitches wanted pizza, they should have been adorable and naive as fuck and arrived at the actual right time. So we got a whole-ass pepperoni pizza to ourselves (and by "we" I mainly mean me), and once she'd got a whole beer in her, she'd warmed up a little bit. She was still a snarky little fuck, but I actually got to see her smile and hear her laugh.

...and notice she had on eyeliner and mascara too. Okay, yeah, she was definitely here on purpose. Also, how the fuck did someone this butch learn how to put on eyeliner that well? Did Liv do it? She never wore makeup either.

That question would have to wait since the other girls started showing up. Susie got a little shyer, but she managed to keep her feet under her pretty well, and I could tell I wasn't the only one who liked her. Mandy even asked if she could put makeup on her, and Susie let her do it. The fact that that interaction didn't end up with the two of them kissing was the dumbest thing in the universe. My teammates were truly fucking gifted in useless lesbianism.

Once my other teammates were there, I wasn't just keeping an eye on Susie. She seemed like she was handling herself well enough, and I absolutely didn't plan on playing babysitter all night. So we kept pregaming, and eventually, we got to the Queer house, and the goddamn party actually got started. I spent that night drinking and dancing and making out with guys, girls, and anyone else who'd put their mouth on mine.

I wasn't sure quite how long it'd been or how many deep I was, but my night was interrupted when I caught a case of fucking drunk hiccups, of all things. "Oh shit! Liv's here!" My teammate Chloe said, grabbing me in a headlock and completely ruining my seduction of a cute person whose gender I was particularly unsure of. 

"Yeah yeah, shut your fu–*HUK* fuckin' trap," I shoved her away. Hearing Liv's name reminded me, though, and I looked around. "Hey, an–*EEP* anybody know where Susie's *UCK* at?"

"She's been hanging out on the stairs," Mandy sighed. "I tried to get her to be a bit more into it, but I couldn't even get her to take off her hoodie."

"Take off her ho–*OOP* hoodie? What kinda slut d–*HUK* do you take her for?" I gave Mandy a quick punch on the arm. "Well, if an–*EEK* anyone can get her into the pa–*HURP* party, it's me. Wish me luck, girls, *HMK*, this one's on hard mode." Once I'd had my luck wished, I made my way over to the stairwell and saw Susie, in fact, sitting right in the middle of the stairs. It was hard to tell from inside of her hood, but I thought she might have seen me first. Either way, I knew I'd caught her eye. "Hey! Hey Susi–*EEK* Pfft. Fuck, I sound so fu–*HUK* fucking stupid."

"Uh...hey, Maya." Her voice was a little uncertain, which I wasn't sure what to make of, but she had spent the whole night a little unmoored, so maybe not the most surprising thing in the world. "Aren't you supposed to be licking someone's tonsils right about now?"

"What, you offerin'?" Even from in her hood, I could see her face go redder, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Don't even wo–*HURK* worry about it, Susi–*EEP*. Susie Q. I got a–*UCK* all the time in the world *HUP* to give out pro-bono de–*HNK* dental exams."

"Wow. And I thought the way I phrased that was gross."

I sat down on the stair right above Susie, trapping her between my legs. She twisted to try and see me so fast that her hood didn't move with her head, which was kind of hilarious. Laughing didn't help with my hiccups, but if anyone wouldn't mind, I figured it was probably Liv's best friend. Either way, I rested my head on top of hers and flopped my arms over her shoulders. I didn't actually put much weight on her. Given how goddamn tiny she was, I didn't know how much she could handle. But there was something weirdly comfortable about how her hoodie felt under my chin. I could see why Liv did this so much, even though they had enough of a height difference that she had to lean over to do it if they were both standing. "But an–*EEP* way, you enjoying the pa–*UHP* party, hot stuff?"

Susie's head moved under her hood, and after a second, I was able to figure out that she was looking out at the dance floor. "I've heard more songs that I like than I expected to."

"Re–*HEEP*–eally?" I wished I could see through her hood and get a look at her face. "Aren't you one of those pri–*HIC*–ks that only listens to screamo 'cause ev–*HUP* everything else is too mainstre–*EEP*–eam?"

She shook underneath me, and it took me a second to realize she was chuckling. "Nah. I just play one of those on TV. I mean, don't get me wrong, everything else is too mainstream, but I'm not such a sad-sack that I'll pretend I don't like Queen. I'm also not too good for all the gay anthems made by straight women."

"Heeyyy, you're dru–*UCK* drunk enough to admit you're not a pre–*HIP* pretentious dickface!" As I said that, I realized that I was a complete idiot, and I moved out in front of Susie and grabbed her hands. Of course this was the way to get her into the party. "Hey, *HUK* if you like the mus–*IC* then why don't you come and da–*UCK* dance with me?"

It was easy to pull her to her feet (and I was still taller than her from a stair below. Goddamn, she was short), but her face was red and her eyes had gone wide. "Uh! Not, uh...not sure that's the, uh...best idea."

"Why the fu–*HUCK* not?"

"Uh..." She looked away and didn't come up with anything.

Fuck. I was too drunk for this. Liv said she was able to say if something was wrong, right? "Okay, look. *HMK*. I'm gonna bring you ou–*HUP* out on the floor, kay? *HMK* If you wanna stop, just say. Sound good?"

After a few long moments, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then opened them and nodded. She looked...weirdly innocent staring up at me like that. Especially with how flushed her face was. "Okay, yeah. Yeah, I can...yeah. That works. That sounds good."

"Awesome!" Victory! I grabbed her and dragged her down the stairs and out onto the floor between other sweaty bodies, maneuvering us close to as many cute girls as I could. Susie danced like an alien who'd only ever had gravity explained to them once, but at least people would barely feel it if she stepped on their toes. Eventually, I had to take a little more control. I grabbed her from behind and pulled her back against me, bending my knees into hers and putting her butt right up on my crotch. "Hey, Fred Ast–*UCK*–staire. Anyone ever tell y–*HOOP* that you dance like you're alr–*UP* already doing it backward in h–*EEK* heels?"

"Uh..." Her voice was weird and shaky again, even more than last time. Her body was still moving to the beat of the music, though, and I couldn't deny that that felt nice. "Literally nobody, but that's not exactly surp-prising." She stuttered, and I realized that my hiccups were seriously shaking her up. I'd never noticed just how much they moved my gut and my boobs.

"You know, not ev–*URK* every gay guy or queer folk's *HMK* gotta go to the clubs. *HUP*. It's not a requirement. *HMK-mmp*" I felt her nod underneath me. The idea that she was not that kind of gay wasn't exactly surprising. 

...but her coming here with makeup on meant that she wanted to try it. And I didn't want her first time to just suck and completely put her off getting drunk and having fun.

So I leaned in closer, pulling her tighter back against me while my head was on her shoulder so I could whisper in her ear. "But if you wann–*UCK* wanna be that kind of gay, I could he–*ULP* help you learn how to d–*HOOK* do it." I ran a finger up from the fly of her jeans to the base of her belly under her hoodie and she breathed in sharply. "I've heard I'm a pre–*HIP* pretty good teacher. *HMK*. And sure, I'm a lil' dru–*HUK* drunk right now. But I fi–*HIG*–guuuure that if an–*HEEK* anyone wouldn't mind me havin' the hic–*HULP*–s it'd be you."

"Fuck!" Susie suddenly wrenched her way out of my arms and whipped around to face me. Her face was so fucking red. Even though her hood was still on, it couldn't hide it at all. Her pupils looked huge, and her eyes were wider than I'd ever seen them before she slammed them shut. "S-sorry!" And before I even knew what was happening, she'd bolted off of the dance floor.

My brain took way too long to catch up with reality. "Shit, Sus–*EEK*! Susie!" And I ran off in the same direction she did.

After searching for ten minutes and finding absolutely fucking nothing, I was getting really scared, especially since she wasn't responding to my texts. Fuck, this was not how I wanted to spend my night. But my two brain cells were able to hook up long enough for me to realize that Susie wasn't the only person I could text.

Maya: Liv Liv I fucked up Susie ran off and I dunno where the fuck she is Wait Please fucking tell me she's with you

Liv: No, she's not with me. She'll definitely tell me where she is though. Give me a minute. While I'm texting her, you can tell me what happened.

Maya: Okay fuck Thanks dude Gotta be real tho I dunno quite what happened I mean I got a guess But I was tryina dance with her and teach her how to do the thing and all a sudden she just fuckin hoofs it

Liv: This'll seem like a weird question. Did you have the hiccups?

Maya: uh Yeah How the fuck did u know that?

Liv: You didn't do anything wrong, then. But I'm not allowed to get more specific. So instead of doing that, I'll tell you that Susanna's hiding in the unisex bathroom in Liberty Hall's entry area.

Maya: wut What the actual fuck is she doing there?

Liv: Hiding.

Okay, this shit was officially driving me fucking crazy. Liv was still texting me, but I shoved my phone back into my pocket anyway and started running for the hall. I was sick and fucking tired of being confused about these two, and especially about Susie.

Once I got to Liberty Hall, the fact that my hiccups echoed through the whole empty building was funny enough to cool me down a little bit, but I was still pissed. So I stomped over to the bathroom and banged on the door. "Hey. Sus–*EEK*. Wanna tell me–*HEEP* what the fu–*HUCK* you're doing in there?"

After long enough that I started wondering if she'd already left, I finally heard her voice. "Not particularly, no."

Fuck, that was an annoying answer. "We–*UCK* well too fuckin' bad, pal! *HULP* 'Cause my ass ain't *HUK* leavin' until I g–*HUP* get some answers."

After a few long moments, I heard a weird sound from inside. "Yeah, that—" her voice stopped in a very weird way and sounded tenser than I'd ever heard it. "That makes sense."

I wasn't not angry, but I was getting more and more worried. "What the fuck, dude? *HMLK* Are you o–*KUP* okay? Why are you hiding in a g---goddamn bathroom?" I sucked at telling time at the best of times, and right now I had no idea how long I'd waited for her to respond except that it was too fucking long. "Look, do I ne–*HEEK* need to get Liv he–*URK* here or what?"

"No." I heard her sigh, though it was cut oddly short. "She's not—" Her voice kept hitching. "She's not gonna help."

"Since fucking when? A–*URK* Aren't you two li–*HUK* like, married or somethi–*IC*–ing?"

"I'm not saying that she couldn't or she wouldn't want to. She's just not gonna. She says this is something I need to do myself." Something like a laugh came through the door. "And she's probably right. She's definitely right. But...fuck, not everyone's like her. Nobody's like her. And she just doesn't get that."

"...*HULP* Okay, whatever the fu–*HUK* this is, I'm way too dru---drunk for it. Give me a minute to *HNK* get some fuckin' water."

"That's probably a good idea, yeah. There's a fountain right nearby."

I did go over to the fountain and drink a bunch of water, I wasn't lying when I said that. But I also pulled out the phone to see what the fuck Liv had texted me.

Maya: wut What the actual fuck is she doing there?

Liv: Hiding. It's infuriating when she gets like this. You're probably going to want to be gentle with her anyway, though. This is one of those times where she's actually sensitive instead of having her walls up constantly. So being rough with her probably won't get things to happen any sooner.

Maya: ...shit. Olivia what the fuck am I doing?

Liv: I don't know. I'm being literal there. I don't know what you're doing. And I can't know that. I know you mean that more existentially, but I don't know that either.

Maya: Fuck why couldnt someone else do this? Why couldnt literally anyone else fucking do this? Im too fucking drunk for this! Im too fucking stupid for this! Im too much of a pissed fucking dickhead who hurts people for this!

Liv: No you're not. You're honestly perfect for this.

Maya: what

Liv: I'm serious.

Maya: I fuckin know that liv your always fucking serious

Liv: *you're

Maya: Fuck you I just What? How in the fuck am I perfect for this? I'm a dumb drunk slut!

Liv: The middle part isn't ideal. But everything else about you is perfect for Susanna to finally tell somebody else her secret.

Maya: her secret? That weird context that you always say you cant talk about?

Liv: Yeah.

Maya: you think im perfect for that?

Liv: About as much as anyone can be.

Maya: Wait hang on Are you tellin me that literally nobody else knows about whatever the fuck you're talking about?

Liv: If they do, it's not because she told them. Honestly, when she finally does tell you (which she'd better do tonight) it'll be really nice to have someone else to talk to about it. At this point, she's texting me to just tell you it, but I'm not going to. She has to do this herself.

Maya: Why?

Liv: A lot of reasons. But the main one right now is because if she doesn't, she won't be able to see how you react right away. Her brain will fill up the space that creates with some sort of illogical bullshit about why I somehow tricked you into acting like exactly the person you are about it.

Maya: Shit you thought a lot about this.

Liv: Of course I have. I love her.

Maya: No fuckin kidding dude. Okay Wish me fuckin luck with whatever this shit is I guess

Liv: Just be yourself. That's exactly who she needs right now.

There were almost zero situations where I was sure I would be exactly who someone needed, and there were a negative number of situations where I'd actually want that to be true, but...well, shit, I was already in it, wasn't I? Like a very wise listicle said, don't pregame if you're not down to party. Don't...flirt with the repressed girl if you're not ready to...do emotion management through a door? I'd workshop it.

Either way, I walked back to the bathroom and knocked on the door again. "Hey. I'm back."

"Yeah. You are." There was a long, dumb stretch where neither of us said anything. Eventually she was the one to talk. "You didn't do anything wrong, Maya."

"Liv said that too, but if I didn't do anything wrong, then what the fuck are we doing here instead of back at Queer House?"

I heard Susie sigh through the door again. "We're here because I'm weird and fucked up."

"Bruh, we're on a women's rugby team. We're all weird and fucked up."

Something thudded against the door. It didn't sound hard enough to be someone punching it or something, but I wasn't sure what other option there was. "I'm weird and fucked up in specific ways. Ways that'll..." There were three smaller thuds and I realized that she was banging her head against the door. "...ways that'll make you think I'm creepy. And that I'm a terrible person. And that I absolutely shouldn't spend time around Olivia."

That sentence hit my brain like it'd just walked in front of a truck. "Wait, what? What the fuck? No! I mean, no, what?" I shook my head. "Okay, those first two are fucking stupid, we can get to that later, but who the fuck would think that you and Liv shouldn't be together? Like, even if I was someone who got to make that kind of decision for either of you, no? Liv loves you, dude! Literally! I was literally just texting her and she said 'I love her'! And 'her' is definitely you!"

"I know." She laughed again. Her laugh was always quiet, but right now I could only just barely hear it. "I know she loves me. That's the only way that the past five years of my life make any fucking sense. And...and I love her too. But if people knew the truth about me, they'd say that I was a gross freak taking advantage of an autistic girl."

"'Taking advantage of'—fucking what?" I shook my head again, then stopped when that made it hurt like a bitch. "Nobody who's ever fucking met you would think that. Like...fuckin' spend two seconds around you two and it's pretty goddamn clear who's wearing the pants in this relationship. Spoilers: it's the one that sometimes wears skirts."

She laughed a little louder. "I mean, yeah, I know that. I know that that's not actually what it is. Olivia's made that, uh...pretty fucking clear. And she'd be happy to do it again if she needed to. I don't know why, but...she is. She's amazing." There was another goddamn sigh. "I don't know if anyone as amazing as her exists. That's what makes this so scary."

Well, shit. What was I supposed to do now, say that I actually was as amazing as Liv? She wouldn't fucking fall for that. Nobody would. So what else could I do? How the fuck did you deal with someone this pessimistic? Was I supposed to fucking get on her level or something?

...actually, yeah, I could do that. That could work. "Okay, lemme put it to you like this: What's the worst thing I could possibly do if you told me whatever the fuck this is?"

"Report me to campus police for sexual harassment and get me expelled."

"Sexual harass—what? Dude, I was the one who was grinding on your ass, not the other way around! You think I'm drunk enough to get confused about that? No, fuck that and fuck you. And also fuck cops. Now what's the second worst thing I could do?"

It took her a minute to get back to me. "I, uh...okay. Um, second worst thing you could do would be...to tell my parents?"

"I don't know your parents. Third worst thing."

"That doesn't mean that you couldn't—"

"Third. Worst. Thing."

I could hear something moving on the other side of the door, but I didn't have a fucking clue what she was doing. "Okay, uh...third worst. I guess...you could tell everyone my secret so they all know what a freak I am?"

"Jesus fucking Christ," I rolled my eyes. "Okay, how long's the last dick I sucked?"

"...I beg your fucking pardon?"

The way she said that made me laugh, which was kind of annoying since I was trying to be serious here. "Right, you don't know. And who's into me using a strap-on on them? Lemme guess; you don't know that either. Do more people call me 'mommy' or 'daddy'? Imagine the jeopardy theme playing out here. Ding-ding-ding, time's up, you don't fucking know. You don't know any of that shit, do you?"

"...no. I guess I don't."

"Yeah. You fucking don't. You don't even know the names of a lot of people I sleep with. Because I don't fucking talk about 'em unless I know they're cool with that." I huffed. "I may be a dumb slut, but I'm not a fucking narc."

"You're not a dumb slu—..."

Susie's voice stopped in a completely different way from how it did earlier. And god dammit, she made me laugh again. "It's okay, dude, I wouldn't be able to finish that sentence either."

"...you're not dumb."

"Thaaat's more like it." She was still wrong, but eh, I'd take it.

"Yeah." She took a while to say anything else. "I, uh...I knew those weren't super realistic, but...you know. It's still nice to have them gone. And...with that out of the way, the main thing I can think of is just that you'd hate me and everything would be awkward."

"Dude, if I make things awkward, it'll be on purpose." I heard her snort, and it made me smile. "And if I'm gonna hate you, I'll do it for something more interesting than whatever the fuck this is."

"...Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like you. Maya, could you, uh..." Susie's voice trailed off, then I heard something rock against the door. After some noises from the other side, I heard the deadbolt, and then the door opened and Susie was there.

Susie was there with her hoodie off. Susie was there with her mascara in lines all down her face. Susie was there in a tank top with a rainbow flag that said "The gays can do whatever they want". Even though I knew I shouldn't, I snorted. "Why the fuck were you wearing your hoodie over that? That's great."

She smiled. It was small, but it felt pretty real. "I like it too. And that's...yeah, that's a good question. Uh..." she pulled back and held the door open. "Would you, uh...come in here with me?" I shrugged and walked through, then leaned back against the tile wall. Susie closed the door, looked at the lock, then shook her head and left it alone. I could see her hoodie crumpled up on the floor between the door and the wall. She walked over and stood in front of me, and I couldn't believe how small she looked. "It, uh...it might take me a minute to...to work up the courage. To say it."

Fuck, I hated waiting. I made myself smile anyway. "Just as long as you say it, dude."

Susie nodded, then took a slow, deep breath. Her face very quickly started going red. "So, uh...so." She swallowed. "The reason I ran away from you at the party was because I was...really fucking turned on."

"...bruh, that was the point."

"I mean—" Susie smacked her forehead, and I snorted again. "Okay, fuck. I mean, yeah, fair. But it wasn't really...I mean it was and it wasn't, but it..."

"Dude, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about right now."

"Right, of course you don't." She covered her face with both hands. "Fuck, I'm just gonna have to say it out loud, aren't I?"

"Probably. I'm still kinda drunk. And not super in the mood for riddles."

"Okay." Susie pulled her hands down and clenched her fists. She glared down at my feet like they owed her money. "Okay. Okay." She took one more deep, annoying breath. "So I was turned on already. Before you started dancing with me. I was really turned on. But it wasn't by anything you were doing on purpose."

"If you tell me you were charming some other chick and let me pull you away from that, I'm fuckin' killing you."

"No, no," she did that weird one-off laugh thing she did sometimes. "Nah. Nothing like that. You were the one who was turning me on. But not on purpose."

"...okaaaaaaaay?"

"Fffuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Okay." She shut her eyes. With how hard she'd been glaring, I was surprised that she didn't somehow laser vision through her own eyelids. "Okay. I was...I was turned on because...b-because..." Her teeth were clenched together hard enough that I was kinda worried that she'd break them. "B-because you had the hiccups!"

She said that loud enough that it echoed in the bathroom, then immediately pulled her fists up to cover her eyes. But I was just confused. "You were turned on...because I had the hiccups." She nodded. "Okay. So, uh...what's the secret?"

Susie pulled her fists away and stared at me. "...what?"

"You were turned on by my hiccups and then...what. What's the deep dark secret?"

"Tha—" She turned around and looked behind her like there was some other Susie for me to be talking to. "That...that is the secret!"

I could feel my jaw going slack. "That's the secret?"

"Yes!" She covered her eyes again. "And I know that it's fucking weird and gross and I shouldn't—"

"Bro, you thought I'd be offended that you were turned on by me?"

Susie stopped talking and her fists slowly fell off of her eyes. She still stared at the floor, but the look on her face was turning less terrified and more confused. "Well, it sounds really stupid when you put it like that."

"That's 'cause it is really stupid, dude. Susie, what the fuck? Is this your big fucking secret?"

"I mean, not completely. Because it's...it's not just your hiccups, it's everyone's." She was glaring at a wall now. "I...I have a hiccup fetish. That's the secret."

"...well what the fuck am I supposed to do with that, Susie? I thought I was gonna have to help bury a body somewhere, but instead you're just flipping out over some weird cute sex thing?" I slapped myself internally for calling it weird.

Susie's head whipped up and she finally looked me in the eyes. "...'cute'?"

"Okay, not the word I thought you were gonna have a problem with there, but yeah. Cute."

"Not...creepy?"

"No? Why the fuck would it be creepy?" I seriously meant that question. Why would it be creepy?

She grabbed her upper arm with the other hand, gripping it way too tight. "You don't...you don't think that I'm just using Olivia?"

"'Just usi—' the fuck? Susie, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you? You think that I think you're 'just using' someone who you threatened to beat a stranger with a bong for?" Every time I got her to laugh, I felt just a little bit better about...everything really. "Jesus, Sue, you flipped out this hard over this? Why?"

"Because it's...weird." She had her arms crossed and had gone back to staring down walls. "It's weird. And it's something people don't have control over. So I'm getting turned on by something people can't help doing."

"...so?"

Susie stared up at me. "So that's...bad?"

I stared right back at her. "Uh...no? No, that's not bad. That's...okay, one, do you think that I chose to have boobs this fucking bodacious?" The shocked laugh that got made me grin. "Do you think I chose to be a total fucking sex bomb with a body that can go all night? I mean, I've put some effort into parts of that, but these titties just happened. And all kinds of people get turned on by that. But, uh, two, it's weird that you get turned on by a thing that a human body does? No! You think that fuckin' neolithic cavemen were going around imagining shit like latex and high heels while they jacked it? No! But liking those is normal as shit! So you're not fucking weird, the world's the weird ones. You're just old-fashioned or something."

Susie was squinting at me. "That is...the weirdest fucking argument I've ever heard." Honestly, it was probably the weirdest fucking argument I'd ever made.

I decided not to say that out loud. "Weirder than being into hiccups, maybe?" The minute I said the word, her whole face burned and I couldn't help arching my eyebrows. "Whoa. Shit, you weren't kidding, huh? You're seriously into that."

"Y-yeah. Yeah. With Olivia I've gotten enough exposure that I can kinda deal, but it..." She huffed. "It's a lot."

"Alright. So," I sat down on the tile floor. "What do you like about 'em?"

"...wuh?"

"Oh come the fuck on, Susie," I slapped the floor in front of me between her feet. "You can't seriously fucking think you can say a thing like 'I'm super into hiccups' and then not tell me how that works, right?"

"You...wanna know?" She looked seriously, actually confused as she sat down in front of me.

"Uh, yeah, duh." I looked at her, then decided I could push a bit and smiled. "How else am I gonna know how I should flirt with you?" Her back went dead straight and she stared at me, her whole face looking like it was about to light on fire. I just barely kept myself from laughing, but how long she went without blinking kind of worried me. "You, uh...you good dude?"

"You wanna...flirt with me too? L-like...turning me on?"

"...thought that'd be pretty obvious by now, but yeah."

"Why?"

"What a stupid fucking—" I cut myself off. Susie may have needed "me" right now (and I was finally starting to get why Liv had said that), but she needed the nicest me I was able to give her. So I smiled at her again, and I reached out and touched her cute, blushy face. "It's 'cause I like you, dumbass. I like you. I think you're interesting. I wanna know more about you."

I actually gasped when I felt her hand touch the back of mine while I cupped her cheek. I'd been too lost staring at her to notice her moving.

...shit, this was more serious than I thought it was.

It got even more serious when she put her hand completely over mine, holding it against her cheek and leaning into my palm. Her eyes closed for a second before she opened them again and stared at me. "You really do?"

"Yeah. I really do." That was...scarier to admit than it should have been. And my heart was going faster than it should. "I know I like Liv. And I know she loves you. I wanna see the person she loves." Shit, what was I saying? I swallowed, and my mouth just kept going. "I've already seen the person you love. I already know Liv. But I wanna see the other side too. Of course I wanna know you."

...fuck. Fuck, I had feelings.

Fuck, I had feelings for this couple.

I really fucking wanted to watch them be...them.

Shit, this could be a problem.

"I..." Susie managed to surprise me again. She was staring up at me, and fuck, her eyes were way too fucking pretty and brown. "I think I wanna know you too, Maya. And...and I think I even...would like it if you knew me."

I could feel myself laughing. I could also feel myself leaning closer to her. "That works pretty well for me, Sue."

"I don't really know what I'm doing."

"That's fine." I didn't really know what the fuck I was doing either.

"I've never...I've never actually dated anyone."

"I'll teach you." It'd been a while since I'd "dated" anyone too. But fuck, I wanted to. And we just kept getting closer and closer.

"I..." I could feel her breath on my face as she tilted her head in my hand. "I'm scared, Maya."

"I know." I was scared too. But... "But Liv told me you could be brave."

Our bodies were close enough that I felt hers shake as she laughed. I felt the air of each chuckle puff against me. "Yeah. Yeah, she tells me that too. And..." She took one more breath, "and maybe she's right."

She kissed my lips.

That fucking bastard. She kissed my fucking lips.

She had no idea what she was doing.

I was gonna teach her. I was gonna teach her everything.

Fuck, how did this happen? How did I get in this deep this quick? How had I ended up catching feelings again?

Was I gonna be okay?

Susie kissed me again, and for the rest of the night, it didn't really seem like it mattered that much.

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Do you have a definite favorite fic among your catalogue, one that you feel everyone should read?

If not, you can send the closest thing to it!

Whew, what a question! It's like asking who your favourite child is...

Haha, I kid, I kid! I do like and am proud of most of my fics, so this is a little tricky. I'm going to cheat a bit and pick three, but they all fill slightly different niches so I think it's in keeping with the spirit of the question!

So the first is You-Like - this was my first fic which I wrote for this fandom nearly three years ago, and essentially was the catalyst for meeting so many brilliant people. It follows a deltarune player replaying the acid tunnel sequence from chapter 2 ad addresses the possibility that Ralsei is trying to communicate directly with them. You can choose to see it as autobiographical if you wish, but I shall never tell :3

Second is The Night Before The End Of The World, my first and currently only stab at writing polyamoury - though don't expect it to be the last! It's shameless Kris/Ralsei/Susie fluff set just before the final confrontation with the Knight/the Roaring. Honestly, over the years Kralsusie has become my second favourite ship in this fandom - first being Kralsei, of course, haha.

And speaking of, my last nomination is A Heart, Frozen in Time. Originally meant to be a three-part fluff piece about Kris and Ralsei finding themselves in a snowy dark world, it quickly expanded into a seven-chapter epic filled with angst, hurt/comfort, life-threatening injuries, true love, and a climactic showdown with one of my favourite original characters to date. Give it a read if you're at all interested, I guarantee you'll enjoy it :)

Thanks for the ask, I hope this was enlightening for you :)

[sammy-lawrence-child]

BATIM/BATDR ship headcannons????

-i am not doing every single god damn ship so i'm only doing ones that i actually like. Also the BATDR ones are purely what everyone else theorizes or what I think personally about what happens after-

Sammy x Norman:

- Sammy's defiantly a bottom ong

-Norman does most of the cleaning up after se-

-Their first kiss was purely accident, Sammy was facing a different way while Norman was coming over to ask him something. Sammy turned and BLAM they kissed

-Norman towers over Sammy.

-Whenever Sammy tries to tease Norman, he teases him back, making Sammy flustered.

-At first glance Sammy looks like the dom/teasing one and Norman the Sub/easily flustered one. In reality its the complete opposite.

-Neither of them actually confessed. Norman invited Sammy to lunch one day, they had a good time, went for a walk around NY, went to Normans house, kissed, fucked, then boom dating.

-(in machine) Sammy tried to convince Norman to pray to bendy once...it ending in a hour long chase, a little fucking, then Sammy getting killed

-(After BATDR) Norman didnt get his body back cause..idk...so Sammy just carries him on his shoulder or holds him since he can't walk anymore *o^o poor Norman*

Susie x Sammy:

-Susie hinted for the longest time about her liking him, Sammy just thought she was weird

-Their first date was in the recording booth while working after time, their first REAL date was at a nice little dinner.

-Susie once made Sammy a chocolate cake..just for Wally to eat it *not referencing to the game at all*

-Sammy's first kiss with Susie was the day after getting hammered..and still being a little drunk the next day...

-Susie normally wears flats, but when she wears heals she's taller than Sammy by half an inch

-(in machine) Susie once caught Sammy in her domain, so she went out of her way to hunt him down, flirt with him, get things all loving, then stabbed him in the chest, took his mask off, then left. *we love sammy abuse >v<*

-(After BATDR) After Susie got her memories back the first thing she did was kiss Sammy, stab him in the shoulder than go apologize to everyone (Henry, Buddy, 'Allison', ext.)

Henry x Linda:

-Highschool sweethearts ong

-Their first kiss was at night with the NY lights all around them..or underneath a tree getting ready for the fall weather.

-They waited till after marriage to have kids

-Henry proposed to her while on vacation to somewhere that wasnt at JDS or NY

-They had two kids, a boy and a girl *....no i am NOT getting that from a really good comic that you guys should defiantly go read...*

-(in machine) Henry would fiddle with his wedding ring whenever he was sad, nervous or thought about Linda

-(After BATDR) Audrey made an ink version of Linda so that Henry would have his love with him forever

Allison x Thomas:

-They first met after Allison almost face planted into the floor cause she slipped on ink

-Wally set up their first work date. Which was just moving table and chairs to the side then playing music on a record player. Not so romantic but Allison enjoyed it.

-Thomas is actually really quiet, unless it's just him and Allison

-They got married after they got fired from JDS

(Ink clones)

-Alison doesn't mind that Tom can't talk, they actually made up a system for them to talk to each other

(After BATDR)

-Allison and Tom had gotten the memory's of Alison Pedal and Thomas Connor after Audrey took control. So they decided to have their own mini wedding. Which Henry was the priest, Sammy composed music, Alice(Susie)the bridesmaid and Buddy the best man, and Dappers the ring barrier.

[prof-ramses]

Horror Lingers in Hope

So, this is my first proper SM ficlet, and it's Roy angst because of course it is. I wrote this about a month ago, but refined it since and am posting to get extra hype going for the impending release of HS!

TW: Nothing explicit, but there is reference to past CSA, as should be expected from a Roy angst fic.

Roy was honestly surprised when his parents let him invite not only Susie, but Ross and Robert over. He was obviously glad, it just seemed a bit sudden. "Man, this place rocks, Roy!" Robert said as he looked around the lavish living room. "Heh, yeah, it does." was all Roy could muster, it was nice to not worry about anything for a bit, just enjoying a day with the people who mattered. "Now try coming here for dates all the time." Susie chirped, "With this fine specimen." She playfully tugged at Roy's cheek and got a little chuckle out of him. “So, being the great host I am,” Roy half-joked, “I wanted to ask; What do you guys want to do?” “Wait, you said you were writing a song, right? Can we hear it?” Again, Ross’s question took Roy a little off guard, it’s not that he didn’t like the attention, It was just something he wasn’t used to, at least not in this way. “Only, and I mean only, if  you promise not to make fun of how cheesy it is.” Which it was, a ballad he was working on for Susie, he’d never admit it, but it started as a birthday present he didn’t finish in time. Before he could get too lost in his thoughts, Susie butted in, “AND if you promise not to get jealous of his singing voice.” “Oh, yeah” Ross joined in, “I don’t think I’ve heard you sing, man.“ “Then you’re missing out. Trust me.” “Why are you saying that like I’M the talented one?” “Roy, you’ve heard me sing, you know which one of us has that kind of talent!” “I know, I know, you’re just a lot of fun to mess with.” And without missing a beat, Susie responded to her boyfriend the exact way he expected from her and loved her for, “Yep, we’re really in sync like that.”

That was when Roy's mother poked around the corner "Does anyone want anything? I've been meaning to try some new smoothie recipes." "Nope, but thanks for the offer, Mrs. L." Ross responded for the group, he really had a way of reading the room.

Just then there was a knock at the front door *knock--knock* Roy's hearing suddenly clouded as he heard his father in the next room say "Ah, on time for once." Suddenly everything seemed darker, everyone turned to him. Their mouths didn't seem to move, yet he could hear them, in unison "Go on Reynold, answer it." He suddenly found himself right in front of that door, the knock came again, faster *knock-knock* Roy felt something in his hand, nevermind the fact that it hadn't moved. The door opened and there he was. "Hey little man. Long time no see."

Suddenly Susie entered from Roy's peripheral vision approaching that monster, a calm, accepting smile on her face, yet her eyes full of tears, pleading through acceptance. "Thanks for this little number, Roy. Still not quite on par with those 2 treats you got me a few years back." "No-NO, NO! You're dead, you died that Halloween! You're gone! GONE!" Even with the door open, that knocking persisted *knockknock-knockknock "Thanks again, kiddo." He said as he wrapped his arm around Susie's. Her voice sounded so peaceful as she said; “Don’t worry, Roy. This is how it was always going to be.”. "You've done wonders for you're dear uncle." His voice rang out as the knocking turned into a near constant drone of beating against Roy’s mind. He tried to reach out, to pull Susie away, to do ANYTHING. But he couldn’t, he ran faster and faster, but with every step he felt like something was pulling him down.

Roy damn near fell out of his bed when he lurched forward as he awoke in a frigid sweat. The quiet of the night and the air around him feeling like a gentle hand on his shoulder telling him to leave that horror behind. Telling him to leave it behind in the exact way he couldn't leave it behind. Not alone. But he already told Ross and Robert everything, they'd already helped as much as they could. There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell he could tell dad, not yet. Mom, maybe, at least she wouldn't feel betrayed be her own blood. And Susie… how would he even start telling her? It didn’t matter, he had to tell them... Soon, sometime soon....

[formulawolff]

So so so glad Susie is here, voice of reason for the both of these idiots. Also wouldn’t it kinda make some sense for first f1 women driver to be involved some way with f1 academy or is it still early in her career for that—WHEEW that last chapter, media is crazy, I thought goldenGirl would’ve just completely shut out everyone, lewis and george support system but Albono is the best teammate actually . The way this chapter was just the backlash of the Kiss in Monaco. Next part when baby <3

i was planning on addressing the f1 academy and their relationship with golden girl in the next chapter! it will be interesting to see susie's reaction to toto's response considering that she is one of the spearheads for the academy! (and well, his ex-wife)

the reason why she is so hurt is mainly due to the fact that their voice ended on very amicable and good terms. the two still have a deep respect and mutual understanding of one another. and of course, susie has to think about their children and how this news will affect them. could you imagine being like, "hey kids! you have a new stepmom who is not that much older than you!"

alex is literally the sweetest person. he just wants to see his bestie happy and support her through any means possible. additionally, britcedes just want toto to be happy, along with their new bestie!

the next chapter should be published sometime this week! i have some requests to work on for the time being. i will announce the time and date sometime soon! <3

[motownfiction]

burning skin

Steph tries to make a roast chicken for Valentine’s Day. She’s trying very hard to make up for the summer (with Daniel, whom she still can’t look at, even six months later), and she decides that a roast chicken is the way. It feels romantic. Domestic. Something she’s not good at, but she should be. She should be, she should be.

Before her mother leaves the house, Steph does not ask her for help. Susie Armstrong, of the “I just swung by Kentucky Fried Chicken” dynasty, would be no assistance here. Any roast chicken she’s ever had is from Boston Market, or someone else’s kitchen. She figures she can do it herself. After all, she can read. How hard can it be?

Apparently, it can be very hard. Steph stands in the kitchen, miserable and sad, pulling at a failed chicken with burning skin. She was going for crisp, but it didn’t have to be like this.

She decides it’s karma. For the past six months, Steph has been very big on karma. Karma for cheating on Sam with Daniel, karma for not telling him, karma for not being able to fake it when she has to see Daniel at parties and dinners. She doesn’t know how Sam hasn’t noticed. He’ll be here any minute, expecting roast chicken, like Steph promised. She swears to herself she’ll never be this stupid again. You don’t tell your date what you’re doing. You tell them it’s a surprise. That way, they can’t be disappointed when you make a phone call to the Chinese restaurant one suburb over. Surely, everyone else in the world knows that.

Steph is not everyone else in the world. If she was, she wouldn’t be a cheater.

For a second, she thinks about picking up the phone and calling Daniel. Apologizing for what she put him through for not turning him down when he kissed her in the park last summer. She thinks about asking him what the hell he was thinking, making a move on his best friend’s girlfriend. She wonders what the hell is wrong with her, too, thinking about one of her boyfriend’s best friends when he’ll be here in any minute for the roast chicken that isn’t.

She knows none of them are thinking at all. That’s how Lucy Callaghan wound up pregnant at the end of the summer, and that’s how Steph ended up with a chicken with crispy burning skin. Delicious.

She sees some movement outside her window. When she pulls back the curtains, she sees Sam walking up the porch, carrying a large pizza box. It makes her giggle. And it makes her terribly sad.

That’s always how it is.

She opens the door for more of it.

(part of @nosebleedclub february challenge -- day 1!)

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m bisexual or if I’m a lesbian. I like the idea of a man, but when I’ve tried to peruse them OR like them. I feel awful?? Last year I thought I had a crush on a boy, but after he held my hand I had a full breakdown. I felt like I was going to be trapped forever to him. Or that I have to end up marrying him or something which sounds silly, all he did was hold my hand. But I ended up crying in the middle of the grocery store afterwards. Like I saw my whole life flash before me.

I know I have an interest in girls, because girls are very pretty. I love just about everything about them, but also I find it hard to vocalize that. My family is very accepting but I wouldn’t say there gonna be waving any flags soon. I don’t know I feel awkward most days. No one is FORCING me to like boys, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I like them as much as I like girls. But I can’t tell if it’s natural or if it’s because I feel like I have to like them.I don’t know maybe I’m just weird.

Do you know any outsider character who would go through this? Whether it’s in the canon timeline or like the genderbend one? Maybe they can help me.

Holy shit I feel like past me just sent me an ask wanting advice from current me.

Anon, let me tell you a little story. I've been a romantic all my life. First year of uni I met a dude who was the first guy to ever truly express interest in me. We went on a few dates, he gave me a chaste kiss, everyone in my friend group thought we were sooooo cute together.

I liked it for maybe 2 days. Then this horrible, gut wrenching PANIC started welling in my gut. He was and still is a very sweet, very gentle man. I wasn't scared OF him, but scared of being WITH him. The only way I can describe it is pure revulsion. I didn't want him near me. I didn't wanna touch him. And we weren't even official. All this happened in the span of like. two weeks. But it felt wrong. So wrong. As soon as I told him we were better off as friends it was like this huge weight lifted off of me.

Sometimes I see guys and I think they're cute. Sometimes I think they're attractive. Every time I go on a date with one or one flirts with me that same wave of revulsion rears it's ugly head, usually within 24 hours.

I haven't experienced the same with women, but I'm also stupid and didn't realize the one date I went on with a woman was actually a date (rip) and then she ghosted me (fair). I'm fully aware that it's possible that when being faced with dating a woman I might feel exactly the same way, in which case I'm going to have to really consider I might be aromantic as well as asexual. Now, I don't know if this applies to you too but it might. I have never and will never desire anyone sexually, full stop, but right now I think I might never want to date anyone either. And I'm okay with that. I haven't fully ruled girls out yet. Maybe Ill find a woman and start dating her and it'll be perfect (i think it's worth saying Im more consistently and strongly attracted to women than I ever have been to men.) maybe I won't. Maybe the feelings I've had in the past for men have been comphet rather than genuine attraction. I also don't know. That's ok. You also don't need to know, anon. It's really ok. Attraction in all ways is so fucking weird. Its hard to figure out.

As for outsiders characters: I think my aroace queen Evie felt a lot of the same feelings as you before she figured herself out, but she's happy with her best friend Steve and her family whom she's very close to. She watches relationships around her crumble and feels like she kind of lucked out not feeling any feelings of romance

Sylvia, my lesbian queen, spent a lot of time wondering if she was actually into men before she realised she just felt like she should.

Susie Mathews wondered if she was a lesbian for a while before she realized she genuinely does like men too, just has a preference for women.

[the-white-soul]

*Flowey smiles, glad he's been forgiven for now. When Frisk is here and this hassle is through with, he'll continue trying to convince them. Because deep down, don't they want the perfect world where everyone is happy? This would make him happy. He is certain they'd understand that at the least.*

You don't need to be so scared, you know. If it comes down to it, Chara and I have the power to wipe them out faster than they can call for backup. And so far, *He looks at Chara.* the only times I get hurt is when I allow it.

I agree that Chara is the most justified here! They've been through a lot and have seen everything and know everyone. If anyone gets to judge, it's them.

I just hope nothing happens to Frisk while they're distracting Jack...

Say... *Flowey hums and taps on a petal rhythmically.* I could watch over them while the rest of you sneak into the prison. I'll make sure they're safe! He is a pretty big threat, and if Frisk is supposed to rile him up, who knows what could happen.

(Kara) "I'm not sure about this. Chara?"

(Chara) "Frisk would get him riled up more than I can possibly believe. That all sounds good but Flowey, you're too powerful. I don't think we can go through this without you in the center."

(Kara) "We've done crazier things."

(Chara) "Kara, *Brings them to the side so no one can hear* this isn't just about the plan, I don't want Flowey to die."

(Kara) "We all have to make sacrifices. Plus Flowey would easily defeat Jack if he wanted to."

(Chara) "*sighs* fair enough. *Comes out of the corner* You can do that plan, Flowey. Go out and be Frisk's bodyguard. Just please promise me you'll do anything not to die. You've been the one nice monster to me for hundreds of years. I'm counting resets as time. I also want to warn you, that they have the power to reset. They haven't used it since they went out of the underground, but if they ever suggest to reset, slap them in the face and tell them not to. Understand?"

(Noelle) "Kara, I need to tell you something as well. *Blushes, but hides it*"

(Kara) "How many times will I speak in private? I'm getting more secrets than priests!"

(Noelle) "*Pulls Kara by the arm to a place that is 500 feet away. It sort of hurts Kara but they ignore the pain.* Alright no one is here. Kara, Noelle died but I could never see her die. I wasn't around."

(Kara) "I don't know what you mean... *Shushed by Noelle*"

(Noelle) "If I don't leave here alive I just want to say, Noelle loved you. When she would talk about you before Susie was her main interest, she would go insane. She'd tell me daily how happy she was around you. Every day. She told me that she wanted to love you but couldn't work up the courage. Even when I saw you two together briefly, she was happier than an angel when I saw you two kiss. That's what I always used to call her, my little angel."

(Kara) "Why are you saying this?"

(Noelle) "*pulled out a letter from her bag. It was very old and dusty* This is a love letter that she wrote to you for Valentine's Day. I want you to read it. I think Noelle would've wanted you too."

(Kara) "*Started reading* Oh, what should I say? I don't know how to start these. Alright, here it goes. Kris, you're what makes my life fun. As neighbors, we know each other but I don't think that's enough. I've been waiting for the moment to tell you this forever, Kris I love you! Your smell, your love for your brother, your kindness to everyone. I will follow you till the ends of the earth. If you don't want to date me please say no but if you do, I'd like to go to the pizza place. You can fake scare me like when we were kids! Even then I had a crush on you. I don't know how to end this but let me say this, Kris I will always be your friend but if not, I'll love you forever. *After it has a part that is clearly used by a different pencil* What was I thinking. If anyone finds this in the garbage can please keep it in there. It's terrible, it's terrible, I'm terrible, why would I think anyone would be in love with me?"

(Noelle) "Now that you've read it..."

(Kara) "*Hugs Noelle while crying* Dess, thank you! I'll cherish this until I die. Noelle was always the sweetest girl ever."

(Noelle) "*and that's why I can't tell you anything*"

[genork-the-fandork]

Perfect Birthday

Word Count: 753 | Characters: Tom Rizzotto & Cadence, ft. the Band | Dedicated to Tom, Trombone Man of My Heart A/N: It is Tom's birthday! And no, I didn't look up every BCB birthday I could find in the Discord server! Definitely not! Anyway, it's my favorite trombone man's birthday, and I wanted to celebrate. Rather than continuing my angsty fix-it fic, I decided on doing this instead. Enjoy! (And enjoy the meme I made last year soon after the game's release.)

Light floods the band room, revealing the silhouette of a lanky trombone player who's scratching his head in confusion. "I could have sworn…"

"SURPRISE!" On cue, we all leap out from our hiding places. Alex hits the lights, and Tom blinks as he takes in the sight of the band room decked out in streamers and balloons. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOM!"

"Whoa!" What was a shocked and slightly terrified expression quickly turns into one of Tom's famous grins. "Hey, thanks, guys!"

Peter smirks and crosses his arms. "It was my idea, of course." Samuel turns his face in Peter's direction, eyebrows slightly raised, and the trumpeter sighs and gestures to me. "Fine, fine. It was Cadence's idea."

Tom's entire face softens, and I feel my heart pound as he looks at me. "Thanks, Cadence. This is awesome."

"You're awesome, Tom," I say. "When I said we should celebrate your birthday, everyone was quick to help out. You really are the heart of this band."

A happy blush spreads across his face, and both Peter and Samuel go to wish him a happy birthday. It'll be their last time celebrating Tom's birthday before they graduate, though something tells me nothing would stop those three from hanging out, not even college. Peter hands Tom a T-shirt, and I have a feeling it's the "trom-boner" shirt that they've been passing back and forth. Will the siege ever end?

Susie appears at my shoulder, smiling at the boys. "You know, I'm kind of jealous. Seems like you're a great girlfriend, lady." She gives me the same look she had when I first told her I was into Tom. "Wonder what he'll do for your next birthday."

"That's a while away, Susie," I grumble, elbowing her lightly. I wouldn't even ask Tom to do something like plan a surprise party. But since the band loves him so much—since I love him so much—I had wanted to include everyone in the celebration. Even if we weren't dating, I'd probably do the same thing. Probably. (Of course I would. It's Tom.)

"Go on, go wish him a happy birthday yourself. I'm sure he's waiting to hear it from you." Susie gives me a light push, and I try not to stumble my way over to Tom. 

Peter and Sam have drifted away, most likely to peruse the snacks everyone brought. Everyone else is mingling on their own, so it's only me and Tom. Me and Tom. Tom and I? Now was not the time for syntax. "Happy birthday, Tom," I settle on, giving him my sweetest smile. Not that I know exactly how to make a smile sweet. "I hope you like your party."

"It's the best gift I could've gotten," he replies, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. With a chuckle, I bury my face in his shirt. As cliché as it sounds, in this moment, it's just the two of us. And it's either his natural body heat, or Tom's happiness is warming me up. Which is probably not good in late May.

With that thought in mind, I pull away and look up at him. "Come on, let's get you some cake. Otherwise the freshman might eat it all."

"Wouldn't want that!" He takes his arms away, but even as we walk over to the cake that Marian brings out, he doesn't let go of my hand.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit Susie suggested I feed Tom a bite of his birthday cake. He nearly chokes on it. But that's okay, because he smiled and said it was delicious. That made up for the embarrassment.

~ ~ ~

"Not sure how I'm going to top such a great party," Tom admits to me as we clean up. "The pressure's on for your birthday."

I place my hand over his, lacing our fingers together. "Tom, what was the best part about today?"

He thinks about it, and then he smiles down at me. "When you said 'happy birthday' to me."

"Exactly." I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it gently, grinning at the blush that crosses his face. "As long as I spend it with you, even if it's only a few hours, I'll be happy. Besides, I'd rather celebrate it with a few rather than the whole band. So many people."

"Consider it done. And we might as well play some video games while we're at it." He leans down and kisses my temple.

"Sounds like a perfect birthday."

"Any birthday is with you, Cadence."

[medusasbush]

read in february 2023

articles (ones behind a paywall are linked through webpage archive):

I'm Intersex. Here's How I Have Sex.

What Is a Nepotism Baby Anyway? (reminded me of the hollywood inbreeding 101 portion of Carrie FIsher's Wishful Drinking)

Your Stuff is Actually Worse Now: How the cult of consumerism ushered in an era of badly made products.

If You Think Tacos Aren't Healthy, We Have News for You

Deeper into Movies: What Have I Been Watching

How Dolly Parton became a secular American saint

Springtime for the Confederacy

Comedy movies rarely make it to theaters today. Here’s why.

A Short Guide to Living More Pointlessly

Another Side of Rupert Grint

What Is a Narcissist?

Videos of Police Brutality Against Black People Are a Futile Spectacle in White America

Trump proposes genocidal national ban on transgender existence if he wins 2024

The super-kinkeepers (& kinkeeping matrix)

The soothing, slightly sinister world of productivity hacks

We're Already Living in the Metaverse

Doc Filmmakers Reckon with the Industry's Murky Ethics

The Band That Best Captures the Sound of the ’70s

The Number One's: Blondie's Rapture

Meat Loaf Owned the Power Ballad

Dating apps have created a culture of entitlement

America's Dangerous Obsession with Innocence

The War on Bollywood

Restoring the Sex and Rage to Jane Austen

Modern Porn Education Is Totally Unprepared for Modern Porn

Parents Need to Talk to Their Kids About Porn

The Porn Crisis That Isn't

Why Porn Has Gotten So Rough

Memoria and the Limitations of Ebert’s Empathy Machine

Is it Possible for a Fanboy to Be a Good Critic?

The people weeding out first dates with a questionnaire

The Anxious Style of American Parenting

Big commitments loosely held

The Junkification of Amazon

The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

From Tokyo to Paris, Parents Tell Americans to Chill

I guess this turned into a love letter

'Lord' of racism?

The Man Behind the Myth: Should We Question the Hero’s Journey?

AMC is about to make paying for theater seats more like booking an airline ticket

The mounting, undeniable Me Too backlash

Lucky girl syndrome and the endless rebranding of “The Secret”

Stuck in 2020, pretending it’s 2014

No Sex for You: Life in the metaverse will be tacky, prudish, and dull

Sarah's Day in the Life

The Last of Us: Perspectives from an epidemiologist and a plant scientist

Marriage Is Not a Replacement For the Social Safety Net

Gwen Stefani, Ariana Grande, Madonna: The Holy Trinity of Famous Italian American Culture Vultures

How Christopher Columbus Became an Italian-American Icon

Everyone Is Grotesque and No One Is Turned On

Madonna's Face is Not Subversive

The NYT Op-Ed I Just Took A Kill Fee For.

The Whale does all but "giving a voice" to fat people

I Tried Jane Fonda’s ‘80s Workout Tapes To See How They Hold Up.

De-Influencing De-Influencing

TikTok’s De-Influencers Tell You What Not to Buy

The Curious Tale of the Midsize Queen

The Tragedy of Woke Shakespeare

books

the names up on the harp: irish myth and legend by P.J. Lynch, Marie Heaney (reread)

bitten: dark erotic stories by susie bright (started)

[emerald9d]

Thoughts on the Fun Gang?

Fuck. God DAMMIT. I had this whole writeup. Then I brainlessly hit ctrl+z and tumblr promptly deleted like half of what I sad about Susie and an entire segment about Ralsei, in an irrecoverable manner. Serves me write for not formulating this long post somewhere else first, I guess. Christ.

I think what I want to do now besides go cry is ask you: is there anything in particular about the Fun Gang you'd like thoughts on?

Cuz, tackling the whole Fun Gang (Noelle included) one member and relationship at a time is probably going to be my next big essay project, whenever I come back to doing that. My latest writeup, I did for the sake of laying a foundation of assumption about Kris' situation, so that way I could then more confidently get into heavily analyzing them and everyone else. So, I should reserve the full response to this question for a later date.

But I'm still willing to talk about it. I just, uh, could maybe use a more specific question.

[zombvibes]

saying everyone who dislikes krerdly is gettig their shorts in a twist and krusie shippers are stupid for thinking they'd ever date each other unless it was a joke. jut doin your bit to promote shipping hostility I see lol

Assuming this is in good faith :

TLDR : LMAAOOOOOO I DIDN’T SAY THAT!! Anywho, have a lovely day! And I’m not saying this in a rude way, I genuinely do mean it.

Anyways :

What I DID say was AND I QQQUOTE : “Very glad I’ve never seen anyone seriously argue against kris/berdly. I mean out of all the ships to get upset at that seems the dumbest one to get your shorts in a twist about.”

You can reread yourself here : X

What I didn’t say was : “All people who dislike krerdly are getting their shorts in a twist about it.”

If you are ANGRY about krispy chicken then yes you’re a little silly. A lil’ goofy. It’s not that serious. If you just don’t like or care about krerdly, then that’s fine!

ALSO I FUCKING LOOOOOOVVEEE KRUSIE!!!!! Why would I call my fellow people stupid for wanting kris and susie to date?? That would be hypocritical of me because I also want them to date! They would just…date for the bit. In all seriousness though, krusie is one of my favorite ships and I hope they cuddle and hold hands. I was just poking fun at the ship…which is pretty normal for me to do. I do this with a lot of ships I like. You know how many times I goofed on suselle???? AND EVEN KRERDLY?!??????

AGAIN : reread the tags yourself : X

Anyways y’all taking shipping too seriously….CHILLAX!! Come, my friend…we can ramble about our favorite ships…together.

You and me. Me and you.

Also again for future reference, I goof on my favorite ships and people who ship them all the time. Like…didn’t I just call kriselle fans desperate for content like krerdly fans not that long ago?? And I also ship kriselle. Maybe if you goofed on your favorite ships too you wouldn’t be this upset with me idk…it’s fun you should do it.