#i think she's never really brought it up because of anakin's jealousy but if anakin brought up the possibility then she'd be down

[kraviolis]

i love codywan. its so delightful and good. i understand the appeal immensely and the two of them compliment the other nicely. very good 10/10.

rexwalker... scares me. it just feels way too chaotic. theres no way in hell either of them would be on the same page about the true nature of their relationship. either rex would fall in love while anakin thinks its just a fling or it would be the reverse. and theres no fucking way either of them could keep it secret either, the only reason anakin and padme's secret lasted so long was bcus they didnt live together most of the time and the ppl who did notice kept their mouths shut.

imagine trying to keep a secret while living on a single ship with a thousand other people who are desperate for new material for the clone gossip mill. i think rex would sleep with anakin ONCE and not even an hour later he gets a message from cody asking if the general's wife knows about this

[distortionbobble]

amongst the stars

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!poc!reader

summary: you’ve been anakin skywalker’s best friend for as long as you can remember, and you’ve loved him for just as long. anakin loves padme, but has it truly been you all along? 

warnings: minors dni! oral (m!receiving) and mentions of ball play, fingering, hickeys, p in v, some angst

word count: 6.5k

a/n: i was trying to sleep the other night and this popped into my head. much of this is aligned with the events of attack of the clones. anyways i love anakin. sexy man

one | two | three

There is a caged songbird in your chest, and when Anakin Skywalker looks at you, it sings. 

You’ve known him since you were both younglings. He’s your best friend, the better half, who understands you more than you understand yourself. 

So when the Jedi Council assigned you and Ani to Senator Padme Amidala under Master Kenobi’s guidance, you didn’t know what to think. 

On the one hand, it would be a total cakewalk— Anakin and you had been fighting side by side, keepers of peace ever since you could wield a lightsaber. It was easy and it would get you in the Council’s good books. That was something the both of you needed, because Ani was always getting both of you into some shenanigans or the other. Padme Amidala was important to the Jedi Order, and she’d nearly been killed. 

On the other, you knew how Ani felt. Padme was his dream girl, the first girl he’d fallen for. She was almost symbolic of Anakin’s hopes, a marker of when he’d been freed and brought to the order. He dreamt of her sometimes, murmuring her name in his sleep when you were both on missions. It sounded like a prayer falling off of his lips, and the nights he uttered her name, you felt the familiar burn of jealousy. You resented Padme for this, even though you’d never met her; your anger weakened you, but that was your fault, not hers. 

The thing about being Anakin Skywalker’s best friend was he tells you everything. That was how you knew so much about his feelings for Padme, and every other inconvenience in Anakin’s life. That’s  what he is currently doing, leaning against the elevator wall as the three of you- Obi-Wan, Anakin, and yourself- prepared to meet the senator. 

“Ten years, y/n,” he sighs, and you almost want to punch him. How can someone so smart be so completely clueless? “Do you think she remembers me?” His force signature is spiking, and you can tell he’s anxious. And you can just briefly catch Anakin’s desires, lusts, a line that you almost reach out and latch on to. You wonder if he’s ever fantasized about you. 

“Your thoughts, Anakin,” Obi-Wan warns, and the signal fades. He’s said that to Anakin so much that it’s almost his catchphrase at this point. 

“Skywalker, you sound like a lovesick fool. And yeah, I bet she remembers you. You’re not the forgettable kind,” you mumble. He hears you, though, and shoots that prizewinning grin at you. Part of you has to admit that he’s beautiful, your idiot best friend who knows you better than you know yourself. You reach out and tug on his braid. “Calm down, Ani.”

The elevator pings open and you can see Jar Jar Binks, full of excitement as he calls out to the Senator to announce your presence, and she turns, and suddenly it makes sense, because Padme Amidala is beautiful. She’s radiant, gentle but commanding and she takes up the whole room. You get it, you really do, but when you see Anakin looking at her with that dazed look on his face it only burns that much more. She’s better than you in every way, and you allow yourself to wish that Anakin would look at you like that instead. Obi-Wan glances at you, aware of your force signal wavering ever-so-slightly, and you reign it back in. 

“It’s a,” you pause, almost imperceptibly. What do you say here? Pleasure? No, that wasn’t quite right. A woman had died, that was why you were here, and Padme was obviously still rather distraught about it. “It’s an honor, my lady.” She nods at you briefly, before continuing to argue with Obi-Wan about the added security detail. 

Anakin is stewing next to you, clearly upset by her dismissal of him, and you’re almost a little worried. Don’t do anything rash, you warn, reaching out through the force. You can just feel him, barely, a storm growing with every heartbeat and you can’t stop yourself from reaching out and squeezing his hand. It’s warm, you register. No doubt from his own anxieties and desires for the Senator. The storm quiets for just a second, returning only when you withdraw your hand. 

Anakin doesn’t move his eyes off of Padme the whole time. 

It’s again, no surprise to you when he rashly announces his commitment to uncover the whole plot behind the threat to Padme’s life, a point that Obi-Wan quickly refutes. “Apologies, Senator,” you interrupt, sending a look to both Obi-Wan and Anakin to table this conversation for now. “We will deliberate on the best course of action to ensure your safety, both now and in the long term. The fate of the Republic, after all, rests in your hands.”

Padme nods at your words, then at your master and Anakin. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be retiring now,” she bids goodnight, turning to her room as Obi and Anakin face each other once more. 

“She didn’t even recognize me. I haven’t stopped thinking about her for even one second, and she didn’t even care that I was here,” Anakin gripes. Out of all of the things to focus on, this is what’s demanding his attention? 

“Anakin, a youngling’s fleeting impressions of attraction are no reason to undermine your master and the Jedi Council’s authority. You acted on impulse and desire. Do not tell me you’re so stupid to pretend that was Jedi-worthy behavior,” you fire. You can feel yourself getting hot under your robes, fists clenching at your side as you glare up at Anakin. You can’t remember the last time you felt this angry. Obi-Wan can sense it too, and he eyes you cautiously before turning to Anakin.

“She was pleased to see us, you know,” he says, voice soft. This was your favorite side of Obi-Wan, the one where he knew when to fight and demand and when to just let you breathe. Ani needed the latter right now, no matter how frustrated you were. So you grit your teeth and follow the two as they go fix up the cameras. 

~~~

You spend the rest of the sunlit hours fixing up the cameras in Padme’s room. Anakin and you worked in silence, the quietest the two of you had been with one another in years. In fact, the last time you’d been this uncomfortable with one another was when he’d gone and taunted you in front of Master Kenobi about your little crush on the older Jedi. You’d been cold to him for days, absolutely raging in fury until he apologized to you one night, right before bed. 

You’re almost finished checking the footage outside when you feel Ani’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling you up and close to him. 

“Anakin Skywalker,” you huff, but your anger has already dissipated. 

“What?” he mumbles, voice muffled from behind your robes as he buries his head into your shoulder. “What in the world are you doing?” you laugh, as he begins to spin the both of you around. 

“I missed my best friend,” he responds. Your ice cold exterior melts, and you reach down and gently squeeze Anakin’s arms. “Why’d you get so mad at me?“ he asks you quietly. He sets you down, feet both touching the ground, but doesn’t let you go. 

“Ani, it’s just,” you sigh. “We have a job to do here, keeping Padme safe, and I’m sorry, but you arguing with Obi-Wan in front of her is not keeping her safe. We’ll uncover the plot, certainly, but you’ve got to follow Obi’s lead. Don’t forget that you need to be in the Council’s good books, baby.” You hear the doors to the room open and hiss shut, with Obi-Wan entering the room quietly. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” You turn to look at him now, smiling at him. 

“What are you planning, Skywalker?“ he grins at this. He’s never been able to keep a secret from you. 

“Why are the cameras covered?” Obi-Wan asks, tapping the small screen where the droid can be seen, but not the senator. 

“I guess she didn’t like us watching,” you snort. 

“She’s got R2-D2 programmed to detect any intruders, and I’ll be monitoring it the whole time,” Anakin says. 

“Intruders are not the only threat to a Senator’s life,” Obi-Wan adds. He’s right, there’s ways to kill a senator without even nearing them. 

But something’s wrong. Not a distant threat in the future, but something’s in Padme’s room. It feels almost like something pressing into you, suffocating and most of all, dangerous. Your fingertips are numb when you look up to see Anakin and Obi-Wan mirroring your emotions on their faces. 

“I feel it too,” Obi-Wan states quietly. The three of you sprint to Padme’s room, robes whipping up behind you as the threat sinks in. 

Padme Amidala cannot die. Padme Amidala cannot die. Padme Amidala cannot die. 

You’re able to rush into the room just in time, propelled into action by the kouhuns standing menacingly over the Senator. Anakin throws himself at the creatures as Obi-Wan and you scan the room quickly, noticing the probe droid outside the window. Obi-Wan lunges at it, breaking the blinds and shattering the glass window as his body slams into the droids. It wavers but remains steady, flying off with your master as Padme sits in her bed, panting. 

“Stay here, Ani!” you scream, hoping he understands. The Senator needs protection, and it would be foolish to leave her without the Jedi Knight’s protection. You’ve got Obi-Wan. 

You sprint down to the exit of the Senate apartments, heart pounding with the adrenaline flowing through your body. It’s hard for you to stay calm, stay focused, but you know you can’t afford distractions. You’d never forgive yourself if you were the reason that Obi-Wan died. You race to the line of parked speeders, hopping into the first unlocked one. 

“Come on, come on,” you plead the machine desperately. But the damned thing refuses to start. “Dank farrik!” You shout, smacking your palm on the dash of the machine, when you hear that familiar beautiful rumble. 

And you’re off to save Obi-Wan’s life. 

~~~ 

Anakin knows you’ve got Obi-Wan. You chose to let him stay, and he’s glad you gave him the time with Padme. Really, he is. You’re the best friend and wingman that he could ever ask for. 

So why does he feel so unhappy? 

The Senator is quiet next to him as he stands on watch, both of them somber from the fear of the unknown. Anakin knows he’s making it obvious that he can’t stop looking at her. 

But, for some reason, that’s it. The intoxicating feeling from earlier is gone, and while he knows that the Senator is beautiful, he can’t stop thinking of you. 

Just you. 

He knows you’re beautiful. Has known for a very long time. You’ve always had some affect on him, making his heart beat a little faster when you tug on his braid. 

Sometimes when he looks at you, his heartbeat turns sweeter, skin flush with the desire to be closer to you.  

Other times, it’s more. After training, when your skin looks warmer from the blood pumping excitedly through your veins, sweat trailing down your neck. Or when you’ve just woken up, wearing just that big tunic you love to sleep in and your voice is raspy, and Anakin’s mind goes to stripping you of that undershirt and hearing you moan in the faint rays of sunrise. And when he’s alone, hand dragging over his length as he draws out shuddering moans, wishing it was your hand instead. 

He shouldn’t think of you that way. You’re his best friend. He could never have you. 

He doesn’t care. 

He wants to touch you, taste you, make you come undone in his hands. His cock stiffens at the thought, and he has to force a deep inhale to remind himself that he’s here to guard Senator Amidala. 

Padme looks at him, and he can feel her curious gaze on his burning skin. 

“Maker, this is so frustrating. I don’t want to go into hiding, you know. I worked hard to pass this act, and I want to see it through. It’s my commitment, Ani,” she states, frustrated. He doesn’t know how to respond to that, but what would you say? 

“Sometimes we have to sacrifice for the greater—”

“Sacrifice what? My hard work? A few hundred lives, probably more, if the act doesn’t pass?” She laughs sardonically at his statement, and he can’t help but feel like talking to her is just blunder after blunder. Padme’s growing more and more frustrated, and he understands in part. Anakin can feel it, too, air seemingly getting thicker and more suffocating as he brushes against the edges of Padme’s consciousness. Jedi may be discouraged from feeling the intensity of emotions, a strategy encouraged by Master Yoda to prevent the Knights from straying to the Dark Side, but that didn’t mean they didn’t know what they were. Total neutrality was hardly achievable, after all. 

“I meant no offense, my lady. I apologize.,” Anakin bows. Hearing that name, Ani, coming from Padme just feels… wrong. Like he’s a child again, stuck in the oppressive confines of Tatooine. Why does it feel so right when it’s from you? Ani, Ani, Ani, he can hear your soft sighs echoing in his mind. She’s still looking at him, and he feels almost uncomfortable in his own skin. He can’t help but think about how it feels when you look at him— warm, teasing, trusting, wanting.

“You’ve grown up, Anakin.” 

“Not surprising, considering you saw me last ten years ago,” Anakin chuckles. 

“Not like that. Not physically, Anakin. It’s different. You carry a burden, like you know you're about to lose something you love.” Love. What a strange word. Does he love you? You’re his best friend, sure, but that’s an entirely different kind of love. 

“Love?” He asks her. Anakin knows this is a dangerous path. He’s liked the Senator for quite some time, but maybe this stranger of a woman can find what he’s overseen for so long. 

“Yes, Anakin. The kind of love where you just feel… safe. Where you feel warm. Where you can’t even look at another person because they’re all you can think about.”

This is when Anakin realizes he’s absolutely fucked. 

When had he even fallen for you? And why hadn’t he realized sooner? When did you become the air he breathes, the reason he wants to get back from missions? Oh, Maker. Anakin loves you. He loves you, he loves you. Anakin mouths your name at this revelation, and Padme smiles. 

“I understand why you love her, you know. She’s brilliant, beautiful, and gutsy.” Anakin nods at that, but the truth is, he’s terrified. Love was not something to be celebrated with the Jedi Knights. Love means possession, obsession, anger, passion. Love leads to the Dark Side. 

But maybe you’re worth the fall. 

~~~

Obi-Wan drove the both of you quickly back to the Senator’s quarters, after a mad dash resulting in the bounty hunter hired to kill Padme dying in front of you. Damn bastard had still managed to graze your thigh with their blaster, though. You were lucky that you’d trained in healing because Obi-Wan was absolutely lost. 

“Padawan, it’s still bleeding,” he reminds you, voice filled with urgency as he parks the speeder and gets out, moving to help you.

“I know, Obi baby,” you grunt, shrugging off your tunic and turning it inside out. You couldn’t keep bleeding everywhere; the tunic would have to make do as a makeshift bandage. Obi grimaced as you wrapped it round your thigh, pressing down on the scrape at the side of your thigh before hoisting yourself out of the speeder. 

“I’ll let that pass for now, padawan, but I must insist that you allow me to support you.” “Master, it’s not as bad as it looks,” you offer a weak smile. The Jedi simply sighs, but sweeps you into his arms quickly, dashing into the building’s elevator. The pain from your thigh is pulsating, but Obi-Wan is warm and comforting, and you can’t help but hold him for comfort as you wait to be in the proper space to do the basic healing that your thigh demands. 

You’re incredibly grateful to be Master Kenobi’s padawan. Obi-Wan was a good teacher, and a good man. He’d shown you and Anakin the kind of love that was safe, good, pure. And you loved your master, the way that the waves love the moons. You needed him for guidance, warmth, but the crush you’d once had on the older Jedi as a youngling had long faded into a sense of deep appreciation—in its place, the fire for Anakin had grown. 

The elevator dinged open, revealing an anxious looking Anakin. His face changes, though, in a matter of seconds as he takes in the sight of you, disrobed and in Obi-Wan’s arms, and you’re hit with a wave of images. Anakin kissing Padme, lips, hands, all over her. You close your eyes to escape it—coward—but Anakin’s thoughts are still plaguing your mind. 

The caged bird in your chest beats its wings harder. 

“Your thoughts betray you, Anakin,” you can hear Obi-Wan warn him, distressed, but he sounds muffled, like you’re underwater. You feel defeated. 

“Master, please take me to lay down somewhere quiet,” you plead him, eyes still shut. You can’t bear to look at Anakin right now, and you hate yourself more for it. You feel him rushing towards Padme’s chamber, and he lays you down on the bed. 

“Focus on healing yourself, Padawan. Do not get distracted. We need you,” Obi-Wan says, voice warm and gentle. Then he shuts the door, and you are alone. 

~~~

It’s hard at first, collecting yourself. You’re angry at Anakin for putting you through that, angry at yourself for caring, angry that you’d been shot by that fucking blaster. Your emotions threaten to burst, and you are forced to surrender yourself to quiet meditation. You have no intention of losing a leg tonight. 

As you meditate, the world becomes detached. It’s easier for you to look at things from the objective, as though you’re watching yourself. You’re distantly aware of your own hands unwrapping the tunic from your appendage before coming to rest mere inches away from the painful mess. You envision the glow before your hands generate it, harnessing the ever-flowing Force around you, wrapping it around each individual muscle and nerve before they move to stitch themselves back together. A sense of calm accomplishment washes over you before your peace is interrupted by the very reason for your wavering. 

Anakin walks into the room, striding to you quickly before pulling you close. Your shirt is still strewn off to the side, and you’re almost embarrassed. The strips of cloth wrapped around your curves do nothing to protect from the sensation of your chest brushing against Anakin’s. He’s seen you changing before and embraced you before, but there’s something much more… intimate this time. Maybe it’s the way you can hear his heartbeat, feel the warmth of his chest, or the way that his fingers are curled around your arms almost posessively. 

“Glad you’re alive, you brat.” He’s hesitant to let you go, your head tucked into his throat and his mouth forming the words just barely above your skin. This was the feeling you latch onto for peace, the salve to your uneasy mind. It’s easy for you to push aside Anakin’s earlier thoughts when he’s holding you like this. 

“Thought I’d leave you in peace so easily, Skywalker?” You tease, leaning back and tugging on that braid of his. Anakin smiles at this, but you can see the shadows under his eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping well.    

“Is it the nightmare about your mother again?” You ask him softly, running your thumb over the lines on his face as you cradle his jaw in your palm. He closes his eyes and nods, nuzzling his face into your palm, and he looks so sweet that your heart aches. You just want to take his pain away. 

“You need rest, Anakin. Please, at least try.” You pat the space beside you on the bed, and he nods hesitantly before coming to lay by your side. 

~~~

Anakin doesn’t know why, but for as long as he’s by your side, the nightmares seem to… stop. It’s like his subconscious relies on yours for strength, unable to shield itself on its own. So when he wakes up from that nightmare again with staggered breath and sweaty palms, he knows you’re gone before he’s even opened his eyes. 

It’s not surprising to him. You don’t sleep much, and usually prefer to sit and simply exist when restlessness strikes you. It’s also when you’re the easiest to read. He’s always come to you when his nightmares wake him up, because you just… make things better. 

He gets up from the bed, sleep shirt abandoned sometime during his rest, and slips on a loose robe. Anakin can see you in the periphery, gaze fixed on the city lights outside as you rest your back on the sofa behind you. His feet are moving to you before he even realizes it, coming to sit beside you on the floor next to the windows. 

“There’s something different about the city, Ani.” He wishes he could hear you talk forever right now, because you sound like everything good and light. If there exists a Jedi who was truly, completely good, it’s you. Anakin nods silently, just wishing for you to continue. He’s afraid to talk, afraid to break the spell that you’ve woven, the magic of now. The bright lights of the city are glowing, shining on your face and he wishes he could pause this forever and just look at the softness of you. Anakin just wants you, forever. 

“Everything, everyone, is just so fast,” you continue. “It’s just billions of lives, flying by, rushing past, going from place to place. It gets so easy to forget and ignore what we already have, y’know?” 

“The city makes people forget what they already have, makes them reach for the stars when they’ve got the universe in their palm.” Anakin forces his voice to be soft when he responds to you, because he’s afraid that you’ll catch on to what he feels. The thought of you breaking his heart is unbearable. He doesn’t want to disappoint you or make you uncomfortable. You deserve comfort, security, so he’s content with keeping his mouth shut and just wishing that he could have you. 

You’re not stupid, though. It’s clear that Anakin’s talking about Padme when he mentions the stars, but who is it he’s overlooking? Who could matter to him so much that he’d fall for them over Padme, and how do you not know? All you can do is nod silently and gaze out into the city. 

“They overlook love,” you add quietly. Anakin’s looking at you now, not the city. You’re sure he thinks you’re talking about Obi-Wan, but you’re talking about him. 

Anakin can sense your force signature. It’s warm, a myriad of green and pink as you lean your head onto his shoulder. You’re so intoxicating that he can’t focus on untangling your emotions to understand what they mean. He’s so distracted by you, your presence, your signal, that he’s oblivious to the way you’re looking at him right now, drinking in every detail you can. 

The uncertainty of wartime isn’t always looming above your head. Right now, though, you’re aware that you could lose all of this in an instant. You have to force yourself to slow down, memorize every inch of Anakin Skywalker that you can get. You don’t want to forget the way he looks right now, when he’s just yours. 

“I envy them,” He says after a beat, tilting his head to rest on yours. 

“I can’t imagine why,” you scoff lightly. 

“If I were in their situation, free to love, I’d soak in every minute of it. I’d tell the girl I love how I feel. Maybe I’d marry her, have a couple kids, move to the countryside if we really hated the city. I just wish I could love her freely.” 

“Padme?” Your throat is dry asking the question. Anakin looks at you; if your best friend knows anything, it’s how to tell when you’re upset. 

“No, actually.” He doesn’t know why he confessed that to you. It feels wrong to hide things from you, his best friend, but he can’t exactly tell you that you’re the girl he loves, can he? Anakin has condemned himself to limbo. He can’t break from your gaze, eyes piercing as you look at him. Into the depths of his soul, like you’re seeing him for the first time. And he notices the shifting gradients of mahogany in your eyes, the way they look like the sweetest dark honey. 

How has he never noticed that before? And have your lips always been so inviting? Plump, soft, with the bottom lip just slightly a different shade than the top. He wants to see them swollen after you kiss him. Just the thought is enough to drive him wild, and he can feel himself moving closer to you, just barely. 

“I don’t know what I’d do in their situation. Do you think we would’ve still been best friends if we weren’t Jedis, Ani?” you ask him. He smiles at that, and your eyes are fixed on the slight dimple in his cheek. 

“I can’t imagine a universe where we aren’t.” 

“You’re right, I think. I’ll always find you, no matter how far apart we are.There’s not a reality where we aren’t best friends. We’d meet each other eventually, even if we weren’t Jedis, and I’d definitely wear you down with my incessant chatter. You adore it, though.” “Yeah, I do,” he replies quietly. He’s still looking at you, but the silence is comforting as you both allow it to surround you.

“I think if I were just some city boy, I’d be in love with my best friend.” Anakin breaks the silence, and you freeze at his words. “Not some Senator. Might take me a little bit to realize, but I’d figure it out eventually. Because she’s beautiful, probably the most beautiful woman in the world, and so damn sweet. How could I not love her?” Love. He said it. But what he didn’t say is louder, that he’ll love you in every universe that he exists in. The word lingers in the air, heavy, and your eyes widen as it sinks in. He turns away, can’t bear to see the disdain on your face when you push him away and tell him you hate him. Maker, why didn’t he keep his mouth shut? 

“What if she loves him too?” You whisper instead, thumb pressing on Anakin’s chin as you turn his face back towards yours. You move closer to him, noses just barely touching. His chest moves in unison with yours, and his hand moves to touch your face before he leans in and— 

He’s kissing you. His lips are just as soft as you imagined, pressing to your own gently. It’s awkward at first before the two of you sink into a heated rhythm, one that feels so right that you wonder if you should’ve been doing this all along. 

The bird in your chest sings its song louder than it ever has before, and you are soaring. 

His mouth is warm against yours. Your palm is flat on the cold floor, and your other hand moves to the back of his neck as you pull him closer into you. Why haven’t you done this before? You’ve imagined doing this so many times, only this is better than you could ever have dreamed of. 

His lips spread into yours, firm and coaxing. You gasp when his hand slides to the side of your breast. Anakin slides his tongue into your open mouth when you do this, gently swirling around your own tongue. All logic, all order and balance is lost to the world around you, because all you can think of is your greed for more. You want him closer to you, in you— it’s like you’re drunk on his touch, like he’s an oasis in the desert. 

Anakin’s touch is cold. The thin wrappings around your chest do nothing to protect you from the sensation, and your nipples pebble thru the cloth as he continues navigating down the side of your body. He breaks his course to pinch them sharply, then runs his thumb over it soothingly when you whine. You can feel the sharp lines of desire tug in the pit of your belly, and you gasp as your core clenches. 

You can feel him everywhere, with every breath, surrounding you with his energy as he loses control of his force signature. You’re beginning to lose track of the boundaries between you; there’s no you or him, just the both of you as one. It’s dizzying, the amount of unbridled desire that overtakes the two of you. An image forms in your mind, of you with his cock in your mouth, his head thrown back in ecstasy as you lick his tip before moving to suck on his balls. And you realize two things at this: one, how badly you want to please him, and two, that the thought isn’t your own, it’s his. You break away from the kiss, and Anakin turns bright red as he realizes that his thought was more than just his own. 

“I’m sorry, oh, Maker, I’m—“ he begins to apologize profusely, moving to stand up when you tug on the sleeve of his robe back down towards you. You don’t say a word, just move your hands to his bulge before rubbing it softly through the layers of clothing. Anakin jerks his hips up at your touch, fists clenched at his side as he groans. He looks perfect, you think, skin flushed and hair in a state of disarray. His length is warm and hard and big under your palm, and you wrap your fingers around it over the layers of cloth. 

“Do you wanna take this off?” You ask him quietly, and he nods before frantically ripping his trousers off, leaving him bare. Anakin’s cock is stiff, with the slightest curve in the length. It’s all because of you, he thinks, and it echoes loud in your mind. You’re drunk on the effect you have on him, and you almost instinctively lean down to put your mouth on the tip. 

Anakin can’t think straight, only aware of the fact that it’s you, finally you, you’re real and all his, even if it’s just for tonight. He’s dizzy with desire, mind flipping between the grounding reality of you next to him and the overwhelming need to have more, to touch you, taste you, watch you cum. Your tongue is swirling the tip, and it’s taking all of his strength to not slam his hips upwards and feel your warm mouth envelop more of his length. 

You’re tracing the sides of his shaft with your tongue when you feel the energy surrounding you almost condense into a singular force, concentrated on just your clit as you continue to suck. It’s warm, a pulsing pressure moving rapidly down your slit before circling upwards before tracing the opening of your pussy. You continue bobbing your head up and down his length, focusing on tightening your lips around but keeping your cheeks hollowed, loose. Then you move off, going down to the base of his shaft and licking a flat stripe down the center of his balls. He groans at this, and you continue to lick and suck at his balls, emboldened by his pleasure. 

Maker, you just want to make him feel good. You want to make him feel so good that it ruins masturbation for him, so good that he’ll never climax without thinking of your lips wrapped around him. 

The pressure slides into you now, a pleasurable burn as the phantom energy fucks you slowly. It increases as it slides into you, stretching you out with each slide as you roll your hips back onto it. It’s thicker than your fingers, and you realize that the nights you spent whimpering Anakin’s name as you fingered yourself gently was nothing compared to the real thing. You moan around Anakin’s length, making him tense as he nears his climax. 

“No, no, I want to be inside you,” he groans, gently tugging your hair to lift your head off of his length. He pulls you to him, tugging the wrappings off of your chest before rolling the stiff peaks of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. Anakin looks at you now, gaze dark with desire and possessiveness, then moves his lips to just below your earlobe. 

“You’re mine,” he whispers, then slides his hand down your trousers, grinding the heel of his palm into your clit and slipping two slim digits into your slick cunt. Anakin pumps his fingers into you, scissoring them as he stretches you out. His other hand tugs down your clothes, leaving the both of you naked and vulnerable under the Coruscant moon. You’re dizzy, with just the right amount of pressure rubbing into you, and the calluses on his palms brushing against the sensitive apex between your thighs. You’re almost falling into him as you near your peak, the sensations of everything almost overwhelming as you muffle your cries by pressing your face into his shoulder as he fucks you with his fingers. 

“Look at you, baby,” he breathes, lifting your chin with his other hand to make you look into his eyes as you climax. “You’re so beautiful.” And he means it. There’s not a thing he’d change about this— the way your hair looks, how your lips look all swollen and bitten, the warm hazy look in your eyes, the contrast of his pale skin against your darker tones. You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful. 

How long have you waited to hear those words? And you can feel it too, something sweeter brushing against the periphery of your being. Love. Anakin loves you, and Maker, how lucky you were to love him. You’ve never let yourself think about it before now, caught up in the fear of losing him. You know you’re going to lose him now. And you have to force yourself to hold on to now, because it’s slipping away with every breath. But none of it matters, not with the way his eyes look like storms and the warm rains of your home. You love Anakin, and that’s enough for now. 

Anakin withdraws his fingers from you, making you shudder from the emptiness inside you now, but quickly lifts you on top of his throbbing cock. He pushes it slowly, using his fingers to continue rubbing your clit as his tip meets the slight resistance of your opening. He pushes through, filling you with his girthy cock. The both of you moan as it slides in, eyes still locked as he begins to thrust upwards slowly. The familiar build of pleasure begins in your belly, tightening as his mouth explores your curves and leaves dark reddish purple marks against your skin. He’s marking you, you realize, and you know that each spot is tattooed in your soul. You’re his, through and through. 

Anakin turns you to the floor slowly, lowering you until your back is laid flat on the floor. He’s pressed up against you now, intertwining his hand with yours and bringing it up against you as he continues to rock his hips back and forth into you. You can hear his skin slap against yours, pushing into you with an almost bruising force. You’re slotted between his legs, and he can’t help but think about how perfectly he fits inside you. 

“Anakin,” you gasp as his length drags along the most sensitive spots of you. He maintains his pace, but fucks you with a new intensity, slamming his cock into your soft velvet walls over and over again. 

Sin has never felt this good. 

It doesn’t take long for the both of you to reach your climaxes; your walls clamping down like a vice as you near your peak causes Anakin to lose his control and finish deep inside you. He captures your lips with his own, swallowing your cries as he desperately attempts to muffle the noises. 

And then he just holds you, stroking your bare back as you nuzzle into him. 

“Ani,” you begin, your voice gentle as he plays with the ends of your hair. “Do you remember when we first met?” 

“How could I forget?” He chuckles, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head as the memory floods both of your heads. It would be easy to press into his mind, see exactly what it looks like in his head, but you desperately want to hear the words he’ll use to describe it. “You were already Obi-Wan’s padawan. Master Qui-Gon Jinn had almost been like a father to you, and you were devastated that he was gone. You pretty much hated me before I even came. Remember, it took Yoda having to intervene and tell you that you were straying to the Dark side for you to forgive me and learn to get along with me. Of course, I thought you were just incredible. You’d ignore me, and I’d still get all worked up about trying to learn this or that just to impress you.” You giggle at that, remembering all of the times that Anakin would call your name and show you the latest thing he’d learned. “I just wanted you to look at me, even if it was with jealousy.” 

“I know.” You can hear his heartbeat, a steady anchor in reality as the both of you venture into the past. “Do you remember when we finally became friends?”

~~~ 

The night passes with you still in his arms, both of you recounting the journey that your friendship had taken before now. He’d fallen asleep at some point, after you’d nudged him to get his clothes on and sleep in case anyone came in. You, however, found sleep elusive, and spent your time memorizing the details of every inch of Anakin’s face, the way his jaw clenched in his sleep, the way he looked in the early rays of the morning. There was a heaviness upon you, one that you had to conceal from Anakin, knowing that you had to leave him for both of your sakes. 

And when the sun rose just a little bit higher, and you could sense Obi-Wan waking up, you leave the room with the soft hiss of the doors and pad over to Obi-Wan, who sits in his silent meditation. 

“Master, I think it’s time I leave to study as a Jedi Consular.”

The bird in your chest is free of its cage.

[lenimph]

After perusing the Obi-wan tags I have come to see that there are two main ways people interpreted the line, "I wish I could say I was."

"Aww he wanted kids"

"Oh damn he had a thing for Padme"

Personally I think it's a bit of both. Padme is his type after all ... A well dressed and stubborn idealist politician. In fact she was good friends with Satine( the woman he almost left the order for) because of their similar personalities and ideals. It's just such a loaded statement because I think in his mind he was allowing Anakin to have what he didn't allow himself to have with Empress Satine. After watching Clone Wars I've always been convinced that he doesn't really confront Anakin about their relationship (he tries but Anakin is not up for discussing it) because he believed that Padme could handle Anakin. It's a real shame because him choosing to ignore them left him blind to the fact that they actually brought out the worst in each other unlike his relationship with Satine.

Watching Clone wars is so important because without this parallel you don't see that but you also don't see just how bad Anakin's jealousy is and how Padme lets it go because he actually does cool and heroic things. You don't see how the last relationship Padme was in was with a selfish jerk and her taste in men is not greatTM.

And while I don't strongly ship Obidala I think when Padme dies Obi-wan realizes just how much he loved her. I don't necessarily think it was a romantic love because he would never betray Anakin like that (also Obi-wan is way too timid to be the aggressor in a romantic relationship and Padme seems to be old fashioned at being courted). But I could easily see Obi-wan wondering if he would be raising Luke and Leia with Padme together if she wasn't dead and romance happening.

[sunsailsandmoonwalks]

satidala headcannons because i love them. don’t try to make sense of any timelines or canon because canon sucks. HERE WE GO:

Even without her heels, Satine towers over Padmé.

Padmé pretends to hate it.

she doesn’t actually

Padmé tans really easily, due to her spending her childhood on the lake.

Satine, however, does not. Her pale skin burns very easily.

As long as she’s careful though, the sun will just bring out her freckles.

Padmé likes to kiss all of them.

They like to laugh at how the holonet calls them ‘very close friends’.

Padmé is the only one who knows about Korkie’s true parentage.

She thinks Satine should talk to Obi-Wan, but Satine doesn’t know how he would take it.

They have a running bet on who will figure out they’re together first: Obi-Wan or Anakin?

Anakin was first when he walked in on them.

Poor thing didn’t really know what to do, and he couldn’t be around either of them without getting all embarrassed.

They have secret code phrases; Satine’s personal favourite is “Mandalore will always help Naboo. In as many ways as possible”.

They both understand each other in ways no one ever could.

When Padmé told Satine about her past relationship with Anakin, she wasn’t surprised that Satine understood so well.

They are still friends with their Jedi, no hard feelings between any of them.

Because of this, Palpatine’s plan failed and Anakin was able to defeat him (but that’s a story for a different time)

Naboo and Mandalore have such different cultures, so their wedding was a mix of both.

They had a big celebration, as Naboo is known for their festivities.

However, they also said the riduurok.

Luke and Leia join them about two years later.

They call Padmé and Satine Mommy and Mum respectively.

Bo-Katan eventually came back to Sundari and reconciled with her sister.

It wasn’t easy, the return of her sister brought back a lot of bad memories for Satine. Ones that would keep her awake for hours.

Padmé couldn’t ignore it for any longer when Satine passed out from exhaustion during a meeting.

“Sweetheart, talk to me. Don’t crawl in on yourself again.”

Padmé was there to hold her wife as she cried, promising to keep her safe like she always had.

Eventually, Bo and Satine made up and Bo became Luke and Leia’s cool auntie.

Satine almost had an aneurysm when she found Bo teaching Leia to use a blaster.

Padmé tried to explain that the twins should know how to defend themselves. Satine knows her wife is right, but she doesn’t want them being exposed to weapons.

“Darling, you know that this Galaxy is harsh, they will need to know how to protect themselves and others.”

When the twins were 6, Padmé’s mother died.

She cried for hours, never leaving Satine’s embrace.

They’re extremely lovey dovey with each other. The other politicians hate them.

Padmé often took Leia to Senate meetings with her.

Luke liked to stay on Mandalore with Satine.

Padmé and Satine were making dinner one night when the twins ran in from playing with their friends and asked the question their mothers had been dreading.

“Why don’t we have a dad?” They both looked so innocent, and even though it was Padmé that carried them, the curious look on their faces was all Satine.

They both kind of stuttered around each other for a moment.

“Well, some people have a mom and dad, some have two dads and some have two moms, like you two.”

Padmé once snorted her wine out of her nose when Leia asked: “If mum is Mandalorian, why doesn’t she have armour?”

Satine thought it would be nice to show her daughter that she does have armor, she just doesn’t wear it.

You bet that when Leia grew up, that armour became hers.

Korkie was known by the twins, but as their older cousin who was away a lot of the time. It was actually that he couldn’t look at them without feeling pure jealousy and rage. Why does their mother get to raise them as her children?

Satine often feels very guilty of the fact, but Padmé reassures her that deep down, Korkie understands.

They both get stressed out with their jobs, trying to help as many people as they can, while also keeping things steady.

They know how to help each other relax... ;)

They get to grow old together because it’s what they deserve.

this turned into a whole au and im not sorry

[halpertstuna]

Could you do 8 and 10 on the prompt list with JJ?

A/N: i’m so sorry it took me so long to answer, i’ve been pretty occupied lately and so i didn’t really have time to write and when i did it was for ‘someone to stay’, anyway, here it is i hope you’ll like it🥺

and PLEASE don’t hesitate to send me requests, questions, messages whatever you want. i would love to make friends and mutuals on this platform plus i love feedback and would really like to hear your opinions(:

also, this turned out way longer than i intended it to be, it was supposed to be a blurb but i guess i’m just gonna turn it into a whole ass imagine cause why not

-> prompt list <-

word count: 1,899 (oops... guess i got a bit carried away)

prompts: “i’m not jealous!”, “you’re hot when you’re mad”

pairing: jj x kook!reader

warnings: a pretty heated make out sesh, jealousy?, platonic Kie, Pope and John B. oh and typos probably.

btw, i was kinda in a rush to post this so please forgive me if it’s not that good, i’m too lazy to edit this again (and this is the first time i wrote something that’s kinda smutty? i mean this isn’t really smut but you get my point. don’t know how i feel about it), anyways, if you’ve made it this far in my insanely long intro congrats! enjoy <3

-> masterlist <-

(gif credit: @anakin-skywalker )

—

It’s been almost two years since you started attending the kook academy, almost two years since you became one of the pogues.

On your first day there you met a brown haired hippie chick named Kiara. The two of you had chemistry together and were paired by your teacher to be lab partners.

On your first encounter you didn’t really talk, and on the following couple of lessons it developed to only small talk and warm smiles if you saw each other in the hallway.

Kiara didn’t like kooks, even though technically she kind of was one.

Judging by the way you dressed and the people you surrounded yourself, she didn’t think you were really the type of person she’d get along with.

But when the two of you got assigned to do a project together, you instantly proved her wrong.

You met up with her at the wreck, the two of you talked about the project then yourselves and bonded almost immediately.

You revealed that you actually hated the people you usually associated with, thinking they were all fake, stuck up snobs with their heads way too far up their asses, and the only reason you hung out with them was your parents.

You turned out to be really reckless and funny which she wasn’t expecting at all, but she liked, it kind of reminded her of someone, her best friend, JJ.

She was quick to introduce you to the rest of the pogues and they welcomed you with open arms into their group. You instantly befriended them and vice versa.

Just as Kie suspected, you got along extra well with one particular blond.

The two of you had a lot in common; you were both hot headed and impulsive which often got you into trouble. You two were pretty competitive, always challenging one another.

You being so similar was the reason you got along so well, but it was also the reason you fought a lot, neither of you ever willing to admit you’re wrong or be the first one to apologize, but you couldn’t stay away from each other for too long. The sexual tension between you two could be cut with a knife.

Hungry glances, longing touches, needy desires that were transparent on both your faces.

Everyone on the island could see it but you. You were both so terribly oblivious.

You tried treating him like the rest of the pogues, you pushed your feelings for him to the back of your mind, thinking he was just being friendly, knowing he was a flirt, and for almost two years, it worked.

But seeing him flirt with Harleen tonight was literal torture.

Harleen was your neighbour and former best friend. A tall, tan brunette you hated with all of your heart.

The two of you have known each other since birth, you were practically inseparable, but as you grew up you noticed she always wanted what was yours, and she always did whatever it took in order to gain it. Whether it was the new shoes you got for your birthday which she bought herself the following day, or the guy you told her you liked in middle school the week prior to her dating him.

With time your friendship grew toxic and you felt like she was bad for you, constantly bringing you down and never caring.

So you decided to defriend her and ever since that moment you despised each other.

You were sat on a log beside Kie at a kegger, Pope next to her as they argued about god knows what. You tuned them out, far too focused on each and every one of JJ’s actions, watching as he whispered in her ear.

He probably said something funny since she started laughing, leaning forward and grasping his bicep for balance, which made your blood boil, you felt like history was repeating itself.

The grip on your red solo cup tightened, you stared and it seemed as if lasers were about to shoot out of your eyes and burn her pretty face off, but you diverted your gaze down to your hand, jumping up slightly when you felt a cool sticky liquid on your fingers, noticing you accidentally created a hole in your cup of beer with your milky white painted nails.

“Wow, what did the poor cup ever do to you?” Pope joked, his and Kie’s attention averted to you the second they heard a pop coming from your direction.

“Huh? Oh, well it didn’t tell me how pretty I look tonight, take that as warning sign” you trailed, trying not to look suspicious, “are you sure it isn’t because JJ told that to the girl beside him instead of you” she implied winking, causing Pope to cackle with laughter.

“What was that?” You asked rhetorically trying to act intimidating, “oh nothing” she gave you an innocent look.

“Anyways... i’m gonna go get a new drink” you swiftly stood up and started walking until you made out John B. from afar who was stood by the keg.

“Refill?” He questions once he spotted you making your way towards him.

You nodded “I accidentally poked mine” you admitted lifting the ripped cup in your hand and pursing your lips as you came to a stop beside him.

As he poured you a new cup of beer with the tap head connected to the keg by a tube, you searched the crowd with your eyes and focused your attention on JJ again.

You’ve seen him flirt with a countless amount of chicks before - kooks and torouns mainly, but none of those times pissed you off os much as seeing him flirt with Harleen did.

I mean he probably didn’t even like you back, so why where you so pissed? It wasn’t different from any other time, except that this was Harleen. She was a bitch. But he’d probably catch on quickly, right?

He placed his hands on her waist and you clenched your jaw at the sight grinding your teeth, you were irritated by the whole situation.

John B. noticed, a sly smile spreading slowly across his face.

“Hey, want some peanut butter with that jelly?” You turned to face him, a dumbfounded look on your face, “what are you talking about?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re obviously jealous”, he chuckled at the bewildered look on your face and you felt your cheeks heat up. “am not!” You denied huffing.

“Tell that to the vein popping out of your forehead” he teased.

You gasped and jabbed his chest playfully with your elbow, you mumbled a “shut up” then channeled your attention back to the two.

Her hands were rested on his chest, like that wasn’t enough already to send you off the edge. But when he pecked her cheek you lost it.

Abruptly you stormed off from where you were stood, John B. shouted from behind you “where are you going?“ but you ignored him.

When you approached JJ and Harleen you clutched onto his wrist dragging him away from her towards the chateau, ignoring both her and his protests. You led him inside then turned around to face him.

“Hey! What did you do that for? It was going really good for me! This better be an emergency” he sneered.

“Are you fucking serious? Out of all the people in the party you chose to hit on Harleen?” You scoffed.

“What’s the problem with that?” JJ was clueless, he knew nothing about your and Harleen’s rivalry. You never told any of the pogues, well except for Kie but she didn’t recognise her as the one flirting with JJ.

“The problem is Harleen hates my guts and the other way around. We used to be best friends but she became toxic, trying to take everything that I had and I’m not going down that road again JJ”

Your words confounded JJ, what did you care if she flirted with him? It wasn’t like he was yours, although he really wanted to be.

Does you caring about whether they end up together or not mean you wanted to be his too?

Then he noticed what emotion your eyes held, he’d never seen it before on your face, but he immediately recognised it.

“Wait.. are you jealous?” He questioned, the corners of his lips perking up into a smirk when he noticed the furious look on your face from his revolution.

“I’m not jealous! Would everyone please stop saying that?! I’m mad ok?!” You defend.

“Ok! Ok!” He surrendered lifting his hands up in the air “but just know, you’re hot when your mad”. Your mouth slightly agape as you weren’t able to form words to deny, far too transfixed under the fact he directly called you hot.

He started walking towards you slowly, you didn’t want to cave, to admit you have fallen for his charms, so you backed up until you felt your back gently hit the wall. Chest rising and falling quicker as your breathing started getting heavier and your heart beat faster.

The second his hand landed on your waist you felt a million butterflies erupt in your stomach, he tenderly stroked the exposed skin of your v line between your low cut shorts and crop top. You felt as if the skin under his finger was being set on fire.

He brought his other hand to rest beside your head on the wall, he leaned in, inches away from your face. His breath mingled with yours, fanning your lips, it smelled of cheap beer and weed.

He slowly moved to your ear and extolled in a low voice “I mean, really hot”, his warm breath sent shivers down your spine.

He left a sloppy, open mouthed kiss on the skin under your earlobe and you could’ve sworn you were seeing stars.

When he detached his lips you bit down on yours holding in a whimper at the loss of contact as he brought his face back to yours.

His blue orbs gazed into yours, they seemed darker than usual, lustful.

He waisted no more time and captured your lips with his. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

You wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled on the edges of his hair deepening the kiss. As your tongues fought for dominance, he brought his other hand to your ass and squeezed it causing you to moan, he took the chance and slipped his tongue in.

you tugged on the hem of his shirt and he got the message. He separated his lips from yours and within less then a second, practically tore it of his body and discarded it on the floor. The two of you were panting at this point, completely out of air but you didn’t care. Breathless, you reattached your lips to his, desperate to taste him again.

You caressed his much bigger length with your petite hand, signalling you wanted more and he groaned into the kiss.

“Up” he demanded mumbling agains your lips. You jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist, he grabbed your thighs and without breaking the kiss led you into the spare room.

Almost two years of yearning and craving dissolved in that night at the chateau, and to think it happened because of Harleen.

As much of a bitch as she was, you did owe her that.

[padme-amitabha]

Is Anakin a Mary Sue?

Now it may shock you to learn this but it turns out that Disney Star Wars is kind of a contentious topic. The fandom's been more or less divided between those who like the sequel trilogy and those who like good movies but both groups spend a great deal of time slinging [ __ ] at each other over every form of social media known to man and truly no battleground is more fiercely contested than the protagonist of each trilogy. People who hate the Disney trilogy tend to criticize Rey for being an overpowered, flawless, perfect, invincible and unrelatable character for whom everything just kind of happens with no real struggle or difficulty a Mary Sue if you will.

Meanwhile supporters of the sequel trilogy are quick to leap to her defense usually with one of two potential counter arguments:  1. You just hate strong women 2. So what if she's op as [ __ ] Anakin Skywalker from the prequels was a Mary Sue too and you don't criticize him. You just hate strong women. This argument was brought into sharp focus for me the other day when I was perusing twitter in search of calm, logical, rational discussion about the merits of the sequel trilogy and I chanced upon this little gem of a comment. Ah yes that famously perfect protagonist who wins everything, always makes the right decisions, has a selfless and compassionate personality, and is universally loved and respected by everyone. Well random twitter [ __ ] as it turns out, I am ready to have that conversation right now. So saddle up y'all because the drinker's here to round up this [ __ ] and put an end to this argument once and for all. Let us journey deep into the world of the Star Wars prequels and see if we can figure out whether Anakin Skywalker really is a Mary Sue.

Now in order to do this, we have to nail down what exactly a Mary Sue is. Well according to the dictionary definition it's a term used to describe a fictional character, usually female, who is seen as too perfect and almost boring for lack of flaws originally written as an idealized version of an author in fanfiction. Now the finer points of what makes a Mary Sue can vary depending on who you talk to but after consulting multiple sources and drawing upon my own experiences as a writer, there's a few common traits that I think most people would generally agree on:

1.      Mary Sues usually possess skills and abilities that are not consistent with their situation and personal history. They can do stuff they shouldn't realistically be able to and they can do it better than anyone else.

2.      They usually possess flawless idealized personalities that no real person could measure up to they never give in to negative emotions like anger, greed, jealousy, selfishness or arrogance.

3.      They're universally loved respected and embraced by every good character they encounter even when there's no logical reason for this to happen.

4.      They never get seriously challenged, fail at anything or get beaten by anyone, success and victory come easily to them.

5.      They always make good decisions and strive to do what's right in any situation so why is this actually a problem.

Well I think the answer should be obvious, Mary Sues are boring as [ __ ]. If a character has got no flaws or weaknesses and never really gets challenged or tested by anything then what is there to get invested in?

It's the flaws and failings of a character that make them interesting in the first place and their struggle to rise above and overcome these flaws that make them so compelling. If these things are missing from a character, then there's nothing for the audience to latch onto or care about. There's nothing to like or root for. That's the essence of a Mary Sue and that's what we're going to be looking at here. So, with that in mind let's see how Anakin stacks up against this list shall we?

Point number one: Being overpowered and having abilities that he shouldn't. Now this more than anything else is what people tend to latch onto when they criticize Anakin and who can blame them really? On the surface it seems pretty ridiculous to see a nine-year-old boy doing stuff like this autopilot but let's put it into a wider context, shall we? When we first meet Anakin in The Phantom Menace, he's a slave living with his mother on Tatooine. He's spent most of his life salvaging junk and using it to make new stuff that can marginally improve their quality of life. As a result, he's become pretty good with technology. Well that makes sense, I guess. He's even applied these technical skills to pod racing where he's been fairly successful despite suffering at least one major crash that we know about. Again, this kind of makes sense when you consider he's strong with the force which would likely give him heightened perception reactions and understanding of the world around him, you know qualities that are important to high performance racing drivers. Anyway, his racing abilities allow the main characters to win an engine part that they need to repair their ship as well as enough money to buy his freedom. Sensing his importance Qui-Gon Jinn takes him under his wing and begins to teach him about the force. Remember when older mentor characters were allowed to teach the protagonist things? I miss that. He also takes part in a space battle that destroys an enemy mothership at the climax of the movie. Now as goofy as this scene is in its execution, it's not actually inconsistent with Anakin’s abilities and experiences. If you've worked around technology vehicles and ships your entire life and you can pilot a racing pod to a high standard then it stands to reason that you could probably operate other types of spacecraft as well, particularly if you have a droid on board to manage most of the ship's systems for you. However, for the sake of argument let's concede the Anakin in The Phantom Menace is indeed more skilled competent and capable than your average person.

So, what kind of effect would this have on a young man from an impoverished background suddenly thrust into a much larger world of power, politics and opportunity? Well that brings me neatly along to point number two: Mary Sues are supposed to have flawless personalities never giving in to anger, jealousy, resentment, vengeance or ambition. All throughout the second and third movies in the prequel trilogy, Anakin displays an increasingly severe set of personality flaws that begin to undermine his position in the world and his relationship with other characters. He's impetuous and hot-headed, frequently rushing into dangerous situations without waiting for backup or considering the risk to himself particularly when someone he cares about is in danger. Keep that one in mind because it'll be important later. He's ambitious but also impatient, feeling like he's been unfairly held back by other characters, particularly Obi-Wan Kenobi, and this resentment causes a growing rift between the two men that eventually spills out into open conflicts. Rather than taking the longer and harder path to wisdom and understanding, Anakin wants everything right away. He also cares deeply about people close to him and this attachment often manifests in explosive bites of anger and jealousy when he feels that they're being threatened like when his mother gets kidnapped and killed by Tusken Raiders, causing Anakin to go on a violent rampage that escalates into wholesale slaughter. Afterwards even he's shocked by what he did or when he believes that Padme has turned against him by Obi-Wan Kenobi, causing him to lash out violently against both of them. By this point he's been totally consumed by uncontrolled jealousy anger resentment and betrayal. All of the emotions that lead to the dark side of the force. The point here is clear: if you [ __ ] with someone he cares about then mercy and compassion go right out the window.

All of his skills, abilities and potential which seemed so overpowered and unnecessary in the first movie in fact serve a very important purpose for his character development. They've generated a sense of superiority, arrogance and overconfidence, and a reluctance to listen to criticism or advice no matter how well intentioned they might be. These are dangerous flaws in his personality all by themselves but combined with his overwhelming emotional attachment to people he cares about it creates a potent cocktail of reckless ambition and deep-seated insecurity that makes him uniquely vulnerable to manipulation something which will later prove disastrous because while Mary Sues are universally loved respected and trusted by everyone, Anakin certainly isn't in the first movie. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu and Yoda are all against training Anakin to become a Jedi despite his obvious potential because they know he's already too old to be inducted. This lack of early discipline in his life would leave a dangerous gap in his personality, making him unpredictable and less able to control his emotions, two factors which are extremely dangerous for Jedi. These misgivings would carry over to the next two movies where Anakin is elevated to the Jedi high council on Palpatine’s orders but the council itself refuses to grant him the rank of master because they feel he hasn't earned it yet. Now a different man would see this as an opportunity to prove himself by working hard and earning their trust eventually winning them over and gaining the recognition he deserves but Anakin takes this as a personal insult from the council which drives a deeper wedge between him and a Jedi order which he believes will never truly respect or accept him. Wow it's almost like Palpatine knew this was going to happen and engineered the whole thing to pull Anakin closer to him portraying himself as the only one who can help Anakin realize his full potential. It's a surprisingly smart piece of characterization that's completely consistent with everything we know about both men. The higher Anakin rises the more it stokes the fire of his ambition and superiority and the more he comes to see anyone who doubts or cautions him as a threat to his success. This arrogance and overconfidence also causes him to test himself against powerful opponents before he's actually ready for them and unlike Mary sues who easily win every battle they have to fight, Anakin’s recklessness causes an escalating series of losses like here where he tries to take on count Dooku all by himself and it ends with Anakin getting his [ __ ] arm sliced off. But his desire for revenge against the man who defeated him ultimately causes a more powerful and better prepared Anakin to execute him in the following movie, again proving his willingness to give into vengeance and anger even against helpless opponents or here in his climactic confrontation with Obi-Wan where his enemy has the advantage but Anakin presses the attack anyway and well I think we know how that turns out. Just as a side note I love how this carries over to Return of the Jedi. See Luke’s taking the high ground here just like Obi-Wan did.

What we have here is a clear pattern of behavior from a man whose ambitions consistently outstrip his abilities. Rather than demonstrating patience and restraint and taking the slower and harder path to lasting wisdom and fulfillment, Anakin’s inherent character flaws cause him to push himself beyond breaking point with increasingly disastrous consequences which brings me neatly along to the final points: whereas Mary Sues consistently make good righteous decisions and always strive to do the correct thing, Anakin on the other hand demonstrates a consistent pattern of mistakes and misjudgments that ultimately cost him everything. As I've already shown you the flaws in his personality are exacerbated by his powers and abilities making him easy prey for a ruthlessly ambitious man that knows exactly how to flatter his ambitions and prey on his weaknesses this eventually causes him to commit terrible crimes like murdering an entire tribe including unarmed civilians murdering children, executing a helpless opponent, helping to kill a jedi master, trying to murder his own wife, trying to kill his mentor and best friend, joining forces with an evil dictator to overthrow the republic, delivering this scene…

What I’m trying to say with all this is that Anakin Skywalker is the very furthest thing from a Mary Sue that you can get. Trying to label him as a Mary Sue for no other reason than because he's good at lots of stuff demonstrates a complete misunderstanding of what a Mary Sue is and also of who Anakin is. The reality is that he's a powerful but deeply flawed man whose unique combination of circumstances and abilities have created a dangerous personality that's vulnerable to manipulation and corruption his greatest strengths ultimately proved to be his most terrible weaknesses with consequences that echo across the entire galaxy. Now I have my own thoughts on the prequel trilogy as a whole and I’d be lying if I said they were great movies but fundamentally I think the story they tell is actually pretty [ __ ] good and I’m just gonna say it: Anakin’s rise to power and fall to the dark side is a damn good piece of character work that Disney would have done well to pay more attention to. Anyway, that's all I’ve got for today. Go away now.

I would argue the prequels are great movies but he makes some very good points. I have seen so many Disney fans claim Anakin is a Mary Sue, when he’s anything but a Mary Sue. 

[gffa]

Maul’s proposal to Ashoka is an awesome example of how certain decisions or teamups could have taken care of a larger problem, but doing so would have been crossing a line or doing something with corrupt motives. Yes, they could have stopped Anakin from becoming Vader, but all it would have resulted in would be killing someone before they did anything wrong, and even then it would only be so Maul could spite Sidious and fix his ego. End of the day, Maul’s still Sith, loyal only to himself.

I loved Maul’s proposal and Ahsoka’s apparent willingness to join him, had certain lines not been crossed. In the realms of What Ifs, so much depends on the exact timing--we know that the Battle Over Coruscant has already happened (Dooku’s dead), we know that Obi-Wan is already being sent to Utapau, but do we know if he’s left yet?  And how long would it take for Maul and Ahsoka to get from Mandalore to Coruscant?  In theory, it should take about 8 days to get from Mandalore to Coruscant (via Astrogation Computer, substituting Phindar in for Mandalore as they’re close together) and that’s assuming they have the fastest ship they can get. In the best possible scenario--Maul agrees to not kill Anakin, Ahsoka agrees to join him, they pick up Obi-Wan along the way, they get there before Mace dies, maybe they can distract Anakin long enough that Mace kills Palpatine and Anakin can be brought back from the ledge. But ultimately all of those things weren’t going to come together--there’s not enough time, Maul wouldn’t agree to leave Vader alive (both as a threat to Maul and because of his own jealousy over Anakin taking his place as Sidious’ apprentice), and Ahsoka was never going to agree to step over the line of killing Anakin or even believing that he could possibly fall.  She cannot fathom that it’s true, that he’ll fall that badly, she’ll spend the next 20 years refusing to believe it’s possible, until she’s psychically connected to Vader and cannot deny the truth of it any longer. The thing is, she’ll never know why he fell (unless she sees the events of it later somehow, like in a walk through the World Between Worlds), she has no idea what caused Anakin to turn to the dark side so thoroughly.  Even with Maul telling her that Anakin has been groomed, she knows him, she knows that he can be so very kind and so very good, she doesn’t think he’s perfect, but she cannot possibly see that he’d fall, so without seeing it with her own two eyes, she’ll never accept it. But, by the time she sees it herself, Anakin will have slaughtered the Jedi children and helped enact the Jedi genocide, which will mean that he’s so far gone into the dark side that he cannot possibly admit that he was that wrong.  No one he loves can bring him back anymore, because he’ll always see the horrible way he broke their faith when he looks at them.  He knows that Obi-Wan would take him back (Dark Lord of the Sith), he knows that Padme would have gone away with him (Revenge of the Sith), he knows that Ahsoka would accept him back (”Twilight of the Apprentice”), and none of it does more than mildly dent his sunken cost fallacy. Ahsoka doesn’t know that it’s already too late, nothing can stop what’s coming, not where they’re at and how far away they are, so her refusal to join Maul is based on the idea that she would be killing someone who hadn’t done anything wrong (that she knows of) because she cannot cross that line.  Would I have blamed her, if she had joined him?  No, because she would have been sacrificing herself for a greater cause--but she doesn’t know that that greater cause is already upon them, she doesn’t know about the Empire, she doesn’t know what the Emperor is going to do to the galaxy, she doesn’t know the darkness that’s coming, she doesn’t know that Darth Vader is already here.  We know what the Empire is going to do and how terrible it is.  Ahsoka has no idea that the Jedi are going to die any minute now, she has no idea the Republic is going to fall, she has no idea the horrors that are coming. If she had, would her choice be the same?  To stay true to her personal beliefs at the expense of all the people that are going to suffer under the heel of the Empire?  That’s an impossible question to answer.  All she can know is that Maul is not a trustworthy partner and he’s doing this out of his own self-interests, which means she cannot truly rely on him, even if she had known about what was coming. It’s tempting for us, with our foreknowledge of the OT and beyond, to say, “Do it!  Join him!  Go kill Sidious!”, but with Ahsoka’s limited point of view and the things she cannot admit are possible, her refusal to join him is the most reasonable answer she can see. Which is pretty much the theme of the prequels--all the characters we love are making the most reasonable choices that are set in front of them, given their limited knowledge and their belief in Anakin not being a garbage bag and their lack of knowing Palpatine is the Sith Lord.  They’re not necessarily the right choices (there really aren’t ANY right choices in the prequels), but they are the most reasonable, understandable, best options they have from their points of view.  And Ahsoka is exactly the same in that regard.

[sirikenobi12]

Well then, you’re lost! - Jedi Rant

This is in response to someone who posted on one of my other blogs. Apparently there is a character limit on responses on Tumblr, so forgive me - I didn’t want to post this in multiple responses!   I never meant to imply that you condone mass murder, that was not what I was trying to say. My comment was meant to simply bring up the fact that one cannot compare the light side of the Force to being just as corrupt as the dark side – as soon as someone is “corrupt”, they are no longer following the light side of the Force (hence Dooku) which is the point.

You said that you are speaking about the Force in the Star Wars universe, well, that is exactly what I’m talking about as well. You say it is an “Essence” and isn’t “good or bad”, but I am sorry to say that is actually the opposite of what George Lucas has said about the Force. That is why I quoted him, he is the creator of Star Wars and he has the end all/be all authority on this galaxy – because he is the one who created it. George Lucas has REPEATEDLY stated that there cannot be a gray area in the Force, it is either light or dark (good or bad) and ANY darkness throws the Force off balance. In terms of the Force itself, straight from the man who created it there CANNOT be any gray and the light side is inherently good.

Now, let’s also take a look at it from even a moral standpoint and not a fictional standpoint – does anyone ever say “I’m really worried about him because he’s being too good a person”?? (If so, then I’m a little concerned for society). No, but we do worry when someone is acting selfish or letting themselves lose themselves to an obsession.

Now, were the Jedi perfect? No, and I never said they were, but did their “failure” mean they deserved genocide? Absolutely not. To say their order deserved to “fall” (aka be wiped out) that is victim blaming of the highest level. Even IF the Jedi were “corrupt” as people say they are that doesn’t mean they deserved what they received. Also, it does not keep Sheev or Anakin away from blame – two “wrongs” don’t make a right.

By the end of the Republic the Jedi were in a trap created by the Sith, all of the points you brought up (with the exception of “taking children” which I will address later) were perpetrated by the Sith. Sidious designed this trap so the Jedi would be painted in a corner and have no way out. But they still tried their best to do what was right despite all of this. For example, you bring up the use of a clone/slave army – well, what was the alternative? Please, tell me what the alternative was because no one who throws that accusation at the Jedi have an answer and I’d love to hear a legit one. Sidious gave Sifo-Dyas a vision (much like the ones he gave Anakin) which caused him to create an army without the Council’s knowledge or approval – in fact he had gone to the Council first demanding the Jedi create an army and they emphatically said “no” because of the moral implications of it. But, now here they were in the middle of being slaughtered on Geonosis and Yoda brought the army to save them. Then, the Senate (whom the Jedi were beholden to) decided to use the army to fight the Separatist, the Jedi instead of hanging back knew it was their duty to not only defend the people Republic, but also to destroy the Sith (who was in charge of the CIS army) so they joined in. Most of the Jedi ended up treating their men like the sentient beings they were (and were the first ones who did), which was not true of many citizens of the Republic. And had the Jedi NOT taken control of the GAR what do you think would’ve happened to the Clones?? Do you actually think the Kaminoans would’ve let them go free? – no, the Kaminoans are selfish business people and would’ve either destroyed them or more likely sold them into actual slavery.

Now, the Jedi code seemed to work for everyone else EXCEPT Anakin Skywalker, why does no one see that?? Sure, the Jedi were not allowed to get married and have children, it wasn’t because they “weren’t allowed to love” on the contrary they were encouraged to love, you don’t think they didn’t know Anakin loved Padme?? Jedi were trusted to not let it become an attachment because attachments lead to jealousy which lead to anger and given the type of power they possess that is dangerous. They are also committed to the Jedi order, think of it like they are married to the Jedi Order. If they were to go out and get married to someone else there is no way they could give 100% commitment to both the Jedi and their family/spouse. But, they are given the option to leave if they want to choose a family/marriage, is it a difficult choice? Yes of course, but that is an option. Anakin decided he was better than EVERYONE else and lied to the Jedi because he couldn’t give up the power/status that came with being one.

Going back to the Jedi “taking” children that is just the most absurd falsehood I hear going around. It is 100% the parent’s choice to give their child to the Jedi. Being a Jedi is an honor in this galaxy and it brings incredible honor to the family I’d imagine, but the Jedi have NEVER in any canon been shown to put pressure on a parent to give their child up. In fact in the Clone Wars we even see a mother saying “Master Ropal said I have more time with him” to a bounty hunter who was actually there to kidnap the child (for the Sith might I add). This statement means not only that she agreed to let her son be trained, but the Jedi in their compassion gave her more time with her baby. Also keep in mind how difficult raising a Force Sensitive child must be, I can bet that most parents welcome the help/training. And as I mentioned the Jedi ALWAYS have the option of leaving if the Order isn’t for them, it’s not a prison.

I honestly don’t understand why you (or other people) can’t see that the Jedi are good…I am baffled by this trend. Like I said, they are not perfect but no one is – and frankly the Jedi themselves don’t think they are perfect either. In fact contrary to what is usually written in fanfics the Jedi allow/encourage their members to question their rules, they constantly tell one another to “search their feelings” – the love and compassion they have for all beings in the galaxy is truly something more people should aspire to be. I know you said it’s “okay to be selfish” and I am sorry, but I disagree. There is a difference between being selfish and self-care. Selfishness is inherently not a good quality to have, and maybe beyond that it’s actually dangerous for a Jedi (or someone with the Force) to be selfish – that is where the Sith come in. The Sith only think of themselves, that is the definition of selfishness. And when you have extreme powers that are affected by your emotions you need to be more mindful, which is what the Jedi teach.

To believe that the Jedi failed makes me so sad…they didn’t, they were slaughtered - it would be like saying the people of Alderraan deserved to be blown up because there were a few criminals on the planet. If you are going to quote Luke in THE LAST JEDI about the legacy of the Jedi being failure, then you really need to take into context where Luke is in his emotional journey when he says it. He even later admitted he was wrong. – the point of the movie/saga is the Jedi are good and the Sith are evil.

The Jedi and Republic were all “deceived by a lie” and I stand by my post that it looks like Sheev deceived a good chunk of the audience as well.

Thank you for the lively debate, I appreciate hearing your thoughts!! 😊 May the Force be with you!

[smokahuntis]

Shelter

Shelter

Pairing: Obi-wan Kenobi x Reader (part1)

Warning: angst

Summery: When the Jedi Order falls Obi-Wan runs to an old friend on Tatoonie for shelter.

Authors note; this is part of my ‘If The World Was Ending’ Collection, each character will have two parts one smutty and one not! Not all of them connect like this one but the part 2 to this is coming soon!

Everything was changing, and he had no clue how to tell her. He didn’t know how to tell her Anakin joined the dark side, or that the Jedi had fallen, but he knew she would understand. He knew she would do whatever she could to make him feel better.

It was late, much to late on Tatoonie to bring Luke to his Grandfather and explain everything. So he went to the only other place he remembered, (y/n)’s house. He hadn’t seen her since he found Anakin with Qui-Gon all those years ago. She probably wouldn’t even remember him, but he didn’t care, I’m a time like this he needed to see her, and for more then just the shelter for the night. He remembered the moment he met her, the moment he knew he’d never forget her to.

Obi-Wan stood inside the parts shop with Qui-Gon, Padmé and Anakin, Watto has been in the back searching for something they didn’t know about. They were all to distracted with Anakin’s plans for the race to care, that was until the door opened. On the other side showed A cloaked figure, from the shape of their body in the tightened black leather outfit, he could tell it was a women. They guns on her sides and ammo belts that decorated her body told him she meant business. He didn’t even need to see her face to tell she was probably terrifying, to tell she could probably strike fear into anyone that met her eyes. But what she said, and what she sounded like shocked them all.

“Anakin I brought you lunch...” she said, he voice was delicate and sweet. The small 10 year old jumped up excited and ran over to her hugging her around her waist. She chuckled and messed up his hair as she squatted down to be on his level.

Her gloved hands reached up taking off her hooded scarf that wrapped around her neck and shoulders, letting the hood fall down exposing her for her true beauty. It was the last thing Obi-Wan expected when seeing her, the pure beauty that she held. Her hair was very long as it was braided up into a pony tail, the color of her (E/C) eyes met the small boys blue ones before continuing to speak.

“Where’s Watto?” She asked glancing over his shoulder to the Jedi’s and Padmé who couldn’t have been much younger then her. She was young indeed, but probably Obi-Wan’s age.

“He’s in the back, did he forget to pay the Hutt’s again?” Anakin asked looking at her as he took the small container of food from her hands. She nodded and stood as the slime ball in question entered the room. When her eyes met his bug like ones her entire demeanor changed, she went from the calm and caring big sister to the deadly assassin she dressed to be.

“(Y/n)” he chocked out seeing her, Obi-Wan could practically see him shaking in the air as he saw her.

“Watto...” she said calm but stern. She moved past Anakin and the Jedi as she walked towards the Toydarian. Her right hand came down barley dancing over the blaster on her hip, her raised his hands shaking his head in surrender.

“I don’t want any trouble with you, (y/n)” he said backing up from her until his back met the hard wall of the shop.

“You said you’d pay by Sun fall, Watto...” she said the blaster dancing from her waist to his chin as she held it tightly. Obi-Wan interfered even tho he could hear Qui-Gon in his head telling him to leave it be. Obi-Wan’s hand came up grabbing her hand that held the blaster causing her to look at him, their eyes met in that moment.

It was the moment he knew he’d never forget those eyes. She let the blaster fall back to her waist and she moved away from the bug.

“One more day, Watto.” She said giving Obi-Wan last glance before turning and putting her cloak back on before leaving.

He’ll admit in that moment they were far from friends, and she was extremely terrifying. But there was something about her he couldn’t get out of his mind that day, something he wished he could have wrapped up in his cloak and took home with him. Maybe it was the way she treated Anakin or the way her eyes softened when she looked at him. Maybe it’s that he could tell she was a different person behind close doors. Maybe it’s because he knew she was different behind closed doors. Because he met that version of her a few times on his stay on tatoonie, he met that version of her everytime him and Anakin made a trip there to see his mother.

He wasn’t really sure how it happened, but the night they first stayed on Tatoonie, Shmi didn’t have enough beds so he ended up staying with her. He’ll admit he was scared at first when Anakin said (y/n) would let them stay. Seeing her large house out in the middle of the sand brought back those memories as well. He had never really connected with someone as quickly as he did with her, sure she was pretty scary outside but she had a heart of gold on the inside, lucky for him she trusted the Jedi and believed in them. She believed in them so much she saw right threw his refugee act the moment Anakin left.

He clutched the small child to him as the cold winds of Tatoonie rolled around them, his cloak blowing in it as he reached the door letting his hand come up and knock on the door. The loud noise of his hand meeting the wood rings threw the empty plains around them. When his hand met the door he remembered when he was first here, it’s also made him think she may not even be here anymore.

The door swung opened showing her with towel in her hand as she dried her long hair, the night robes she wore completely made her look as if she was a different person. Yet she seemed almost over dressed for bed, she was dressed as if she was going somewhere. She looked down meeting Anakin’s eyes and smiled kindly.

“Anakin” she said before looking up to see Obi-Wan. “And friends.” She said moving away from the door letting them in. Anakin moves in letting Obi-Wan trail behind him. He was surprised to see how nice her house was on the inside but of course she did work the the Hutt’s.

“So what brings you here Ani?” She said walking into her warm toned kitchen grabbing a kettle from the shelf.

“My friend needs a place to sleep tonight, I told him you could help.” He said sitting down and watching her, Obi-Wan could practically see the crush he had on her as he watched her every move. It was cute, but so was she. He shook his head knowing he shouldn’t think things like that, specially about someone like her.

“Any friend of Anakin’s is a friend of mine.” She said turning and giving a kind smile, it’s like she was a completely different person. “But you should get home Anakin, it’s getting late and the road from here isn’t safe at dark.” She said looking out one of her windows at the dark horizon that was falling over Tatoonie. “It’s already dark...” she said opening a drawer grabbing a small blaster and handing it to Anakin. “Shoot anything that moves, but don’t do anything stupid okay?” She said and he nodded before they both gave their goodbyes, leaving her with the young Padawan.

“I’m Obi-Wan...” he said awkwardly and she smiled at him.

“(Y/n)” she replied. That was the night they became best friends. It was also the night he learned she used to be a slave. She got out of it tho and started to work for the Hutt’s for money.

“You were a slave?” He asked after she finished, she looked at him from across the living room and chuckled.

“Yea... then one day he saw me take out a few sand people who tried to raid my house. I worked up a deal with him.” She said setting her tea down.

“Which was?” He asked treading lightly not sure if it was okay to ask. “If- if I can ask that...” She just chuckled.

“I’d become a hitman for him, he’d pay me for the work and one day I can buy myself from him... leave Tatoonie...” she said looking at him.

She opened that door and looked at him with a fire in her eyes, a sparkle like a thousand stars as she saw him. She smiled at him but quickly noticed the child in his arms and raised her eyebrows, anger ran threw her over jealousy but she quickly calmed down when he spoke.

“Can I come in?” He asked looking up at her, his cloak covered most of his being and the child’s but with the dim outside light she saw enough to know who and what it was, letting him I quickly and closing the door.

“You have a kid?” She asked breaking the silence that fell over them once he settled in, she was making tea in the kitchen as he took off his cloak in the living room.

“He’s Anakin’s....” Obi-Wan said before draping the cloak over the couch, it caused her to turn and look at him quickly.

It was the first time they really got to see each other in so long, he’d grown a beard, and she’d cut her hair. The bags under his eyes spoke to her, as the scar that covered hers spoke to him. He loved towards to kitchen to get a good look at her as she made tea. Luke had already fallen asleep on the small make shift bed they made for him on one of her large chairs.

When Obi-Wan got to her he couldn’t help but trace his thumb over the red line that covered her right. His finger barley whispering over the ruined skin as he looked at it.

“What happened...” he asked not taking his eyes off her, she chuckled and finally pulled away to finish the tea as he watched her.

“I could ask you the same thing...” she said walking with him to the living room where they sat down on the couch together, close to each other both fearing that the other would leave.

Something was different about tonight, so much more different then other nights he’d spent with her. It was more comfortable, more inviting. Anytime Anakin would drag him back to Tatoonie to visit his mother he found himself here, tea in his hand and stories spilling out of his mouth. He had no control around her, even tho he knew she was a trained killer outside of these four walls he couldn’t help but want to be around her, wrapped up in her own stories, even if most of them were illegal for the Jedi... the Jedi....

“The Jedi Order has fallen...” he said causing her to look at him like he just kicked a puppy. She moved setting her tea down and he did the same, before he even knew it she pulled him closer to her and his face was hidden in her shoulder. She knew him better then he knew himself, because he found his arms wrapping around hers instantly and a sob racking threw his body. He didn’t even know he was this upset about it, he didn’t even know he cared so much. But maybe it wasn’t just the Fallen order that upset him, maybe it was Anakin, it Padmé, whatever it was he couldn’t hold it back any longer.

One of her hands rubbed over his back calmly as the other played with his hair. Soft hushes escaped her lips as she soothed him, she had so many questions and he knew it, but she also knew this wasn’t about her right now.

Soon he calmed down and looked up at her, something in the way she looked at him, or maybe it was the way he looked at her. Either way they found their lips on each other’s in seconds. It was soft and slow and lasted a little longer then expected, but when they pulled away and looked at each other.

He spoke first looking at her, running his fingers threw her hair pushing it from her face. “My darling, if we continue I can’t promise I’ll be able to stop...”

The face she gave him was soft and kind, but the words she spoke was better. It wasn’t panic or regret, it was calm and sweet like how she used to speak to Anakin.

“Let’s get you to bed, okay?” He nodded and went with her to her room and getting ready for bed. She looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning okay?”

Taglist: @muted-mayham @jediminddicks1000 @hxldmxdxwn @blushingwueen @thisis-theway

[darling-i-read-it]

A-Z Fluff With Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi x reader

Author’s Note: Oh Obi-Wan what a baby boy

Requested: by @starwarsprequelfangirl​, Whoa ur Dan Torrance a-z was amazing!!!!!!U really can write anything!!!That is real talent could u maybe write one for cloak boy (u know who I am talking about 😏😏) or Roman Sionis !!!Or both that would be beyond amazing (don’t over work ur self tho!!!!)!!!!!❤️🥰💙

Requested: by @ah-callie​, Unless you already have the request, could you do the NSFW and fluffy alphabet for Obi Wan please? I love the alphabet stuff people do

Genre: fluff

(not my gif)

A = Activities (What kind of things do you do?)

Obviously your typical thing is you often train together, training your padawans as well. But other than that you enjoy reading to each other, taking long walks and sometimes he’ll even go shopping with you if you’re out on a mission together

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

He does but unfortunately the circumstances don’t really allow that to happen

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He likes to spoon, hold you close to him there and be the big spoon. He also likes it when you’re on top of him or he’s on top of you, one of your running their hands through the others hair

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

You can’t have traditional dates obviously but he does often take you out for dinner if you’re on another planet trying to get things done and will sometimes set aside time to be sneaky with you. 

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world)

You are my ‘darling’ 

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Obi-Wan had been thinking he had a crush on you but there was one day where you were sitting together and you were reading aloud and your voice was changing volumes with the speaker and he chewed on his lunch you had made him and he just stopped and realized he was really really in love with you. 

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

He is so gentle. Obi-Wan is the king of just holding you around the waist from behind and making you feel full of light from it. 

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

When you’re out you can’t but sometimes you’ll sneak some touches under dinner tables. When you’re alone it’s usually him playing with your hands, watching your fingers move and such

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

You were both very young, early padawans and he remembers liking your eyes and that you seemed better than him at swinging his lightsaber around

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Not often because you’re in such a committed secret relationship it's kind of hard to get jealous but every once in a while he’ll just realize he would probably die if you left him and just gets protective

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Soft, slow usually and then rushed and like its the last one he’ll ever get as you move on with your relationship. He kissed you first in your chambers. 

L = Love (Who says ˜I love you™ first?)

You said I love you first because you could tell he had been antsy about saying it but when you said it he just melted and knew he loved you too

M = Memory (What's their favourite memory together?)

Obi-Wan remembers you were together once and sitting in a hidden bit of a restaurant and you had just ordered for the both of you because you knew what he wanted and you had just finished a particularly harsh mission and you were just laughing at each other about nothing and he had never felt such freedom bliss

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

When he can he 100% does

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Blue because you share the same lightsaber color 

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Love, darling, sweetheart

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

I mean for Star Wars isn’t everything from our day non modern because it’s like advanced? I don’t know Imma say a toaster because I can see him being that bread in the morning guy

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

He likes to sit behind your balcony door and watch something with you or go outside and spare in your cloaks because its dramatic and you’re both quite dramatic

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

He’ll often come to you to talk him up, realizing you’re the best for him probably

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Obi-Wan talks about everything, his stories of being Jedi, Anakin being stupid, you being stupid, all of the above. 

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Taking a day off of work. Which he rarely does. Sometimes though you’ll make him tea or coffee or something and he will die 

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

His Jedi skills along with his padawan (until a point in time oof)

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

Obi-Wan probably proposed without the idea of an actual marriage or a secret one to you in a park where you were just walking and he just brought it up in conversation

X = Xylophone (What's their song?)

She by Harry Styles or Style by Taylor Swift depending on the day

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

He thinks about it but isn’t quite sure if it because of the code of course

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Probably not just due to always being away 

Ewan: @daphne-fandom-writing​, @satanslov3r​ @records-and-stardust​ @broodybats​ @starwarsprequelfangirl @ah-callie @rai-strangebr​ @whyisgmora​ @fandxmnerd​ @ewanfuckingmcgregor​ @peterpstuff​ @stardancerluv​

Obi-Wan: @fic-e-veryone​ @onebatch--twobatch​

[redrobinhoood]

no choir | chapter 5, no chorus

AO3 Link | 2700 words (approx) | Chapter 1, Chapter 4, Chapter 6

Chapter Summary: Fox, Riyo, and Thire deliberate on what to do next.

Thire leaned into Riyo’s embrace, closing his eyes as he tried to fight back the memories that were resurfacing. She was murmuring reassurances into his ear and for a moment he felt an intense jealousy for Fox. That jealousy rapidly disintegrated as the events of last night continued to come back to him. He remembered Fox holding him, soft words in the language he had known since birth, the argument, the numbness that had eaten him alive. Thire had known a lot of pain in his life, and he had decided that feeling pain was better than feeling nothing at all. He came back to reality to the sound of his name.

“Thire, Thire, don’t go back there.” Riyo was saying, rubbing the side of his shoulder. “Stay here. Don’t think about it.”

Thire sighed and took a long drink of the caf that had been forced upon him. He had a new resolve. “Maybe it shouldn’t be my burden, Fox. But it’s one I’ll gladly bear.” Perhaps gladly wasn’t the best word, but when compared to the utter nothingness he felt at night it suited the emotion best. He looked back down into the mug in his hands. “The five-oh-first clone you killed. Fives. We lost you for a while afterwards. If Thorn hadn’t been there, I don’t think we ever would’ve gotten you back. I can’t watch you go through that again.”

“That was different.” Fox spoke softly, and Thire knew that if he looked up he would find Fox also staring at the liquid in his cup.

“I remember what you said before you collapsed. You said, ‘it should’ve been set to stun.’ Do you remember that you collapsed?” Thire found the strength to look up and found his prediction to be true. If he hadn’t worked beside Fox for the past three years he would’ve thought that the man wasn’t listening, his concentration on avoiding eye contact was so intense.

“Only what Thorn told me.”

“I couldn’t-, I can’t let that happen again.”

“Fox.” When Riyo spoke up both men turned to look at her. “Did you kill Lor Hano?”

“Senator Chuchi, Lor Hano was killed by his own thermal detonator.” Thire said.

“And who told you that?” She asked. When Thire couldn’t answer her, she continued. “Fox, you said you lost your blaster in the explosion. But when I was targeted by that speeder bomb your blasters were fine and you were much closer to that than you were to the thermal detonator.”

“Are you saying I shot him then what, blew up the building myself?” Fox laughed in disbelief. “I think I would remember.” Then his expression fell, and he looked back at Thire.

“Would you remember?” Riyo prompted.

Fox shook his head. “This conversation doesn’t leave this apartment. For the sake of the Emperor, this doesn’t leave the apartment.”

“You think someone in the Senate is doing this.” Thire said.

“I think it’s someone close to the Emperor. One of his aides? Are you certain that it’s not Darth Vader, Thire?”

“Vader was off-planet when Lor Hano was killed.” Anakin Skywalker had been on Oba Diah at the time. “I’m certain it’s not him. He would’ve just killed us instead.” He would’ve killed Thire the moment he stepped out of the immolation chamber. Thire could barely remember hunting down Master Yoda, but he could clearly remember what had followed the hunt. Mustafar. Plastoid melting heat. He remembered kneeling in the burning sand over a body that burned just as hot. A body whose face he recognized from meetings in the Chancellor’s office.

“You know him better than we do.” Riyo said before Fox could question Thire further on the Sith Lord. “Even after, well, last night, you still prefer his presence over the Emperor?”

“If serving the Emperor comes at the cost of my mind, yes. The Emperor is a good man, but I think Stone was right. I think I’m allergic to him.” Thire watched Fox reach up to touch the fresh scar across his lip. The Guard wasn’t the same without Stone. Life wasn’t the same without Stone. Both Thire and Fox were commanders, but Fox was also his commanding officer. Each of them had had a very different relationship with one another.

“I’m sorry, Thire. I should h-.”

Thire waved away Fox’s apology. “It comes with the territory. I accept your apology, but I don’t need your justification spiel. I know it’s because you were busy with Riy- with Senator Chuchi.”

“Riyo is fine, Thire.” Riyo said with a smile, placing her hand on his shoulder for a moment before pulling back. Now that the tension in their conversation was waning, her skittishness around him was returning. “You’ve slept on my couch. I believe that that threw all formalities out the window.”

Thire couldn’t help the light laugh that escaped him. Possibly, his first laugh in months. “We are in agreement there, Riyo.”

“And I believe that we are all in agreement that we need to find out who has been pulling the strings of this operation for months.” Fox said. “My first missing memory not from a traumatic head injury was after the bombing at the Jedi Temple. Thire?”

Thire shook his head. “I don’t know.” He had a clear timeline of his life until his promotion to commander. But after that, fragments. A few clear memories, mostly in the evenings; laughing with Fox and Stone in the barracks, some soft-spoken conversations with Jek and Rys, a conversation in the museum with his brothers and Riyo, the crack of plastoid against marble, the screech of heels against that same marble as they dragged Riyo away. After that, the fragmentation began in earnest. The scent of blaster-fire burned flesh and bacta. His wound or Fox’s? There hadn’t been a scar on his arm before, it must’ve been his. He had been told that there was an interrogation that he conducted on the bounty hunter that he’d brought in. It was because of that interrogation that Fox went to arrest Lor Hano. And then Lor Hano was dead and all of his files were destroyed. Any evidence of his supposed crimes was gone. More fragments. He had woken up in Stone’s arms on many nights, but he couldn’t remember why he’d needed comforting. Now, he believed that he might understand. Sometimes Fox was there, often he wasn’t. Thire thought he may have collapsed once. There were fragments of Jek, Rys, and Riyo floating around but they didn’t form a cohesive narrative. He had depended entirely on his immaculate records in his office to keep the work he did from day to day straight. Then there was order sixty-six and Mustafar. Thire wrenched himself back out from his thoughts. “After the bombing. Sometime after my promotion.”

“Well then, let’s start a list of everyone I had contact with starting at that time and compare that to who you see on a daily basis.” Fox was taking over as the commanding officer now. Thire let him. It was his right after all. “We’ll take this slow, we don’t want this being to know that we’re onto them. And Thire, don’t tell the Emperor yet. He may put himself at risk if he knows that he’s being played. And we can never talk about this in the Senate building. The risk of bugs is too high.”

“You can meet here.” Riyo offered. “Your men will think that you’re working late and sleeping in your offices, even if you don’t mention anything to them.”

“Ri, if we’re found out that puts a huge target on your back. I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. And if any being can find out about this, they can find out about us. And our relationship may be the more despicable thing to the citizens of Coruscant.”

Thire nodded and stood, making his way over to where his boots, gauntlets, and helmet lay on the floor beside the couch. When he looked back up Fox was holding Riyo in his arms, pulling her securely against his chest. He let the image burn into his memory. He had served alongside Fox for the past three years. In that time, he had seen the commander bleed, burn, and break, and through it all he never gave up on protecting his men. Thire didn’t know if his loyalty to Fox came from Kaminoan conditioning or from the man’s steadfast commitment to leading from the frontline. In the end, Thire supposed, it didn’t really matter whether his loyalty had been bred or gained, it had certainly been earned. Thire resolved to hold onto this moment, keep it as a fragment in his mind. He’d been in pieces for a long time, a few more didn’t matter if it kept his family whole. Even if he couldn’t save himself, he could save them. He could save Fox from the crushing numbness. He could save Riyo from watching him slip away. Maybe he could pick up his own shattered pieces, maybe not. Rys’ blood still stained his white gauntlets. He would have to break a little more today.

Riyo kept her eyes on the two seated clones in front of her as the speeder made its way through the Coruscant sky. With all the things she could fear right now, the one at the forefront of her mind was that she didn’t shower this morning. Instead, she had selected the most covering outfit she had in hopes of suppressing the smell of ash and blood and the unmistakable smell of clone. She couldn’t have named the smell of the clones with one word, or perhaps many words, but the scent of armor polish, plastoid, combat, Coruscant, cheap soap, ozone, salt, and fried circuitry was distinctly theirs. If another being smelled it on her, she and Fox would be found out in a heartbeat, and this time, they would be dragging Thire down with them. While any trace that still lingered across her skin was covered, her hair was not. She hoped that the sprays she had used to set her hair in place above her head masked the smell. She and Fox couldn’t be found out when he was so close to uncovering such a corruption.

They were onto something, and if they were right, all would be better. The wheels of the Empire could start turning. With whoever it was pulling the strings gone, the Senate could begin to function as it had before, if not better. They could begin to repair their relationships with worlds that had turned to the Separatists and restore peace and trade across the galaxy. The Republic had been divided, but with the right being to bring them together the Empire could be something better. The Imperial Senate could unite to pass regulation across all systems. Already, the Empire was bringing technology to impoverished worlds. A memory stirred, and she quickly brought out her datapad to make a note.

“How are you changing the galaxy today, Riyo?” Fox called back. Of course, he had seen her pull out her datapad in the mirror.

“Bringing technological advancements to the galaxy doesn’t mean that we should discard the local traditions of each world. They need to be preserved in that world’s heritage and should be used in industry in combination with the technology that we will introduce to them.”

“Is this what we sound like when we explain our job to senators?” Thire asked.

“Probably.” Riyo chirped. “When we brought industrialization to Pantora years ago to harvest our silk there were protests in favor of our traditional methods. Now, our economy is flourishing and traditionally harvested Pantoran silk is seen as a luxury. I want to bring that experience to other worlds.” When the speeder landed before the Senate she was the first one to leap out and start towards the Senate doors. Fox and Thire fell into place behind her and when she looked at their shadows that stretched at her feet she could see that they were marching in-step with one another. Likely an unconscious choice. On the rare occasions that she and Fox had walked side-by-side he had fallen into step with her almost instantly.

“Would the two of you be so kind as to escort me to my office today?” She asked.

“As you wish, ma’am.” Fox responded. Of course, he always walked with her to her office when he escorted her to the Senate, perhaps barring one or two days when there had been an emergency. But there were formalities and appearances to consider and Thire was with them today. Not that anyone would know that it was Thire. To them, he was just another guardsman in white armor. She thanked them at her door, shaking their hands and giving Fox’s hand three squeezes. They waited for her to walk into her office before they departed. However, when she opened the door a harsh mechanical breathing greeted her.

“Senator Chuchi.” The shadow from her nightmares said as he rose from her desk chair to greet them. “Commander Fox, Commander Thire.”

“Sir!” Riyo looked back to see the two commanders snap to a salute. The shadow waved his hand dismissively and they lowered their hands.

“Is everything alright, Lord Vader?” Thire asked as he and Fox stepped into the room behind Riyo. So, this was the Darth Vader they had spoken of. Suddenly, Riyo wasn’t so sure that Thire’s faith in the man wasn’t misplaced. Perhaps Vader hadn’t killed Fox at the Temple, but he had still killed his brothers.

Vader waved his hand once more and the door shut behind them. “I thought that I might find Commander Fox here, I didn’t expect you as well, Commander Thire.”

“Senator Chuchi’s alarm system was triggered last night.” Thire said without skipping a beat. “Commander Fox and I are familiar with the senator, so we both went to investigate.”

“Is this about the Jedi, sir?” Fox went straight for the throat of the matter, giving Vader no time to respond to Thire.

“The Jedi is no longer a concern to us.” Vader said, looking from Fox to Thire. “Which I believe you should be glad to hear. The Emperor tells me that one of your captains was killed by the witch. Most unfortunate.” Riyo expected Thire to bristle at the remark, but he remained motionless except for the rise and fall of his chest. Vader turned back to Fox. “Your efforts last night were admirable, if ineffective. The Emperor expects better in the future.”

“I understand, sir.” Fox gave him a terse nod.

When Vader stepped forward the two clones stepped to the side, Riyo following suit to stand next to Fox. As he walked by, Vader turned to look at her. For a moment, her blood ran cold and something inside her told her to run. Then the moment passed, and Vader’s gaze was on Thire.

“Commander, if you would accompany me.”

“Sir.” Thire cast a look towards Fox and Riyo then fall into step behind Vader as he exited the room.

When the door slammed shut, Riyo turned to Fox and grabbed his hands. “He knows.” She hissed. “He knows about us, I know it.”

“Riyo.” He squeezed her hands. “If he knew about us, I would be dead.” He pulled her to his chest and set his helmet against her head. “Things are going to get better. I promise.”

When Fox let her go and stepped back, she reached up to touch his helmet. “I trust you.”

“Sweetheart.” When she blinked up at him in confusion he continued. “Cyar’ika. It’s usually translated as darling or sweetheart.”

“Fox.” She breathed, finding herself speechless. With her hand still resting on his helmet she brought his forehead down to meet hers, pressing her forehead against the white stripe that came down over his visor. “I love you.” She managed to whisper.

“And I love you.” He rose back up slowly and stroked her cheek with a gloved hand. “We’ll find that fresh air one day, I promise. We’ll find a forest. It can just be you, me, and the trees. I promise.”

Riyo knew that those were promises he might not be able to keep. But right now, with Fox standing before her, she could pretend that their fulfillment was truly up to him.

[meteor752]

Obi-Wan’s padawan that I accidentally created and ended up liking (This title is terrible)

My friend, Vera, who cosplayed as Ahsoka during Halloween, found out I had this blog and checked it out. Her favorite post out of them was about Obi-Wan’s Padawan loving Maul, and she asked me to make them a character.

So yeah, we sat down together with Kim, who played Obi-Wan, and started talking about directions to take this character. If you don’t like it, then good for you.

Oh, and I realized that we never came up with a name or gender, so I’m making it a She because I wrote out their whole “Family Tree”, and there’s a lot of males, and her name’s gonna be Vera cuz this was her idea

So yeah, Vera River was born somewhere on Wecacoe by an unknown mother. This unknown bitch of a mother sold her quickly, as she wanted nothing to do with poor Vera, so Vera grew up being sold left and right to different slave owners.

Growing up like this, Vera became a very quiet and scared little girl, because if she talked then it was chains. She hated being in chains, and even later in her life, she refuses to wear things like bracelets as it reminds her of it.

This continued until she was five years old, where there was some mission to Wecacoe by two Jedi and she was accidentally stumbled upon and brought to the Jedi temple. And as you might have guessed, the two who stumbled upon her was a 12 year old Anakin and a 28 year old Obi-Wan Kenobi. Because of the fact that she was saved by the two, she started to idolize them like you wouldn’t believe and made sure to keep up on what was going on in the two’s life.

Vera was put in a clan like every Jedi youngling, and in her case the cobra clan (Again, how do they name these?? We just made this name up). Because of the first five years of her life, it did make her a bit insecure and jumpy, which was easy to pick on by her clanmates.

The cobra clan consists of a Pau’an male named Timoa, a Devoranian male named Kaltin, a Kel dor female named Tiivia, a Mon Calamari named Meeka and a female Chiss named Amore. Vera did not get along with either Timoa, Kaltin nor Amore, but Tiivia and Meeka were nice.

Vera herself is from an unknown species (Don’t try to look it up, my friends and I made it up), that is sort of near-human. Her skin is chalk white, french braided hair is ebony black and eyes mud brown with a single peck of Amber. She looks relatively human, the only really abnormal thing is that her arms are a little extra long, and sharp fangs instead of teeth.

The thing is, she has a “Beast” form. When she feels threatened or scared, her outward appearance completely changes.

Her limbs grow longer, her back curves so she has to walk on four legs and her jaw can unhinge when she snarls, hisses or roars. Her mouth is unable to form real words, so instead she sends them telepathically into whoever she is talking to’s brain. The top of her head is formed into a sort of tentacle mass, and two extra arms come out of her back. The worst thing though if you ask her, the worst thing is the eyes. Upon the tentacles, there are almost two dozen covering them, and multiple appear and disappear on her body all the time. It is creepy and confusing on so many levels.

Vera is extremely shamed of the beast, and no one in the Jedi council knows of it except for Master Fisto.

During her clan’s first swim class when she was around nine, Timoa pushed her into the water and the beast emerged, as Vera is deeply terrified of water. Master Fisto comforted her, the sweetheart he is, and promised to keep it a secret. He also made the rest of her clan, who were terrified, keep the same promise. After that day, she had gained a lot more respect from her clan, and she overcame her fear of water.

During her gathering, after having to climb up a wall she could only do as the beast, she instead of founding one crystal, found two. Confused as ever, she climbed back down with the two crystals tightly in her grasp and made it out of the cave, first in her clan as well.

Back on the ship while looking at lightsaber types, she stumbles upon something called a Light Whip and falls in love. So yeah, this sweetie now has two blue light whips, good luck defeating her.

But like, a week or two after Ahsoka, aka the clone wars movie and stuff, Obi-Wan once again requested a Padawan, and after seven years Vera once again met her hero.

And she was his Padawan. Great, time to panic.

Over the course of seven years at the temple, she had done her fair share of research on Master Kenobi and holy kriff this guy can’t catch a break, can he. 

So she decided to put up a bubbly, happy exited facade so he won’t have to deal with the mess of a being she is. 

The two of them actually ended up getting along quite well, despite Vera putting him on a pedestal all the time. They joked and sassed out each other, but they also fought together perfectly. 

Vera and ‘Soka got along as well, with both being new Padawans and not too large of an age difference. They became like sisters, and more than once referred to each other as such.

Ani on the other hand...they didn’t exactly hate each other, they just..did not...get along. Vera still admired him greatly, he did help with her rescue as a five year old after all.

During a mission where just the two of them ended up stuck in a ship in the middle of space for a couple of hours, Vera tried an Ice Breaker to get to know each other better.

They ended up really getting to know each other though, as they both vented about their past and feelings -Ani about his jealousy for Vera being a better Padawan than he could ever be and his anger for the Jedi council, and Vera about bottling up her feelings- and then cried. After that they had a better connection and became sort of slave buds. They never called themselves that though, cuz that is weird.

Oh, remember this? Yeah, if Vera was present she would have been discussing that with them, as she is easily distracted.

 After that though, she started pondering about their actual lineage and how wide it goes, so yeah she started her research, and after a couple of months she had mapped out everything and was on multiple masters radar.

The only people she Officially showed were Master Kenobi, Ani and ‘Soka, but she did slip from time to time and just accidentally showed someone to prove a point. 

After ‘Soka by mistake called Ani dad (A headcanon of mine, you can’t tell me it didn’t happen at least thrice) she did another family tree, but this time of how she viewed her family, and since both the 501st and 212th are apart of it she had to get to know the name of every clone trooper in both battalions that have ever lived. 

It. was. torture. But worth it!

This one was more personal though, and only a few people knew about it. And anytime Ani and Master Kenobi had a “moment”, she may or may not have squealed a bit because the tree ‘Soka! The tree!

This also created the inside joke of Master Kenobi and Vera from time to time calling each other “Dad” and “Daughter”, mostly to tease Ani and ‘Soka, but also because they had made a bond over their time together.

Even though she viewed both Master Kenobi and Ani as her father figures, Vera still really liked Satine and just thinks that she and Master Kenobi should hook up already.

She’s also one of the very few people that are unaware of Senator Amidala and Ani’s marriage, but she still thinks they would be a cute couple.

Ummmmm, what do we more have...she’s Aromantic Asexual! She just doesn’t see Romantic Love as necessary to her, and Sex will forever be destroyed for her thanks to her history as a slave, cough cough.

Her diet mainly consists of bugs when she’s unable to go hunting. This grosses Master Kenobi out like you wouldn’t believe, cuz great now there’s two of them. Ani and ‘Soka approves.

When she is on a forest planet though, then she gladly sneaks away to go hunting. It’s not that she’s not allowed, persay, it’s just that most of the time parts of The Beast is shown.

If she sees that it is safe enough, she sometimes lets the beast out for a run, mostly because if she doesn’t and keeps it hidden for too long she becomes aggressive, and she fears that it might appear out of nowhere.

I realized after this was finished that fuuuuck, this means I have to add what Vera was doing during every episode both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka is in fucking kill meeee. So yeah, this is not discussed with either Kim nor Vera, this is only me. Surprise Mother Fuckers.

And I won’t explain every arc, as most times she was just standing around or fighting.

During Mortis she was unconscious. I rewatched the episodes for this, and realized that there is no way to add her without changing major plot points. So yeah, after Ahsoka and Kenobi fall asleep in that cave and have their visions, she does too but doesn’t wake up until they’ve left Mortis. I will explain why later

Slaves of Zygerria she just takes Rex’s place basically, since she’s an ex-slave and doesn’t want to be put back into that. This backfires however as they are put into the slave camp, and suffer terrible nightmares after it for months. Lot of cuddles with Ahsoka if ya know what I mean

During the Citadel Arc, she actually follows orders and stays behind, Ahsoka!

She goes into depression during the Hardeen ordeal and didn’t leave her quarters. No one blamed her for that.

Alright let’s address the elephant in the room here.

She found out at an early age about Maul killing Master Kenobi’s master, and at first she was as shocked and terrified as most younglings were, because A Sith?! We thought those were dead!!

But then she was actually showed a picture of Maul, and holy shit this guy looked cool!!

Like, she has seen Zabraks before, obviously, but damn! The way his dark tattoos looked against his red skin, the glowing eyes, the tattoos just !! Wow!!

It got even worse when she first found out about his red double-bladed lightsaber, that made him look even cooler!

More than once after Vera became Master Kenobi’s Padawan did she ask about the Sith, as vaguely as she could, but her master didn’t really like talking about it and she accepted that.

When she found out that he was alive though...holy shit...

‘Soka could literally not make her stop talking about it, and Vera waited not so patiently day after day until finally, finally, her master told her that they were dealing with a “Maul Issue”.

Callback to this, she freaked out, Maul and Savage were confused as hell and Master Kenobi was just. what. the fuck. why. is this. happening to me.

On their way back to the temple, bloody and bruised, more Master Kenobi then Vera as Savage had a very hard time fighting her, he asked what the kriff that was.

So yeah, Vera started rambling about how fucking awesome she thought Maul was, the same with his brother who she found out existed two hours earlier, and that she really wanted a double bladed saber and Master Kenobi just being like this is really not what I meant, stop idolizing them.

She acts similar around Mr. Ohnaka, who finds great joy in the little Kenobi and gladly answered all of her questions about being a Pirate when they meet.

Now, Vera isn’t all happy feeling of course. Just like everyone else, she suffers negative feelings as well, and in her case they are quite...extra.

She has a bad habit of tapping into the dark side of the force, sometimes out of anger, sometimes fear, and sometimes just because it’s the easiest way. If you are able to kill someone by force choking them to end the mission, why shouldn’t you? It doesn’t make you a bad person, right?

Well, it did however turn on her after she turned fourteen, two years after she was assigned to Master Kenobi, and just a few months before the Jedi Purge (Also before ‘Soka’s trial)

A small stealth mission, Master Kenobi and Ani with their two Padawans and a handful of clones, was surprised by a full on assault. The four of them nearly got killed that day.

But a wall inside Vera broke, and every ounce of the Dark Side of the force inside of her was set free, which meant that parts of The Beast were shown.

Vera herself lifted off the ground, together with every droid in front of her, and then they all were crushed at once.

When Vera’s feet were back on the ground once again, and she looked back at the three near unconscious bodies, it was instead of her two mud brown eyes six pitch black one, two on her cheekbones and two on her forehead.

She smiled back at them, showing off her fanged teeth, but she was met with faces of horror. That was when the true realization of what she had done hit her, and The four extra eyes melted back into her skin. Horrifying sight, truly.

She was silent on the way back to the Jedi temple, ‘Soka trying to ask her what happened, but she simply just shook her head.

It was the same in front of the council, she refused to speak so Master Kenobi had to explain what happened. Master Fisto also ended up telling them about the beast, reluctantly, and only after gaining a silent nod from her.

She was expelled that day.

Left silently, didn’t speak to her master, brother Padawan nor sister.

(Alright, I want y’all to take the next thing with a grain of salt. Vera, Kim and I had fun with the idea, and it was mostly a joke, but I’m going to share it anyways. Oh and also, I would recommend reading this beforehand, as use that headcanon, thanks!)

Barely a week or two after she left for Wecacoe trying to find anything about what the kriff she was, she started to feel a presence. It was weak and vague, but one thing was sure.

It was dark.

So Vera sat down in meditation position in front of a candle, as she had always found that that helped, and started to meditate in the dark side of the force.

Barely an hour into doing this it was there once again, more evident this time. When she opened her now six eyes, she locked eyes with a barely solid being, whose eyes shone with gleam and amusement. A being she had only briefly seen before it had knocked her unconscious for who knows how long a year prior in Mortis.

The Son

As any sane person she stood up and ignited her whips, asking how and why he was there.

So he explained who she was.

A fucking force wielder, created fourteen years ago in an attempt to create a being as powerful as him to balance how to ever growing light side of the force. His daughter.

After a lot of convincing and ifs and buts, Vera actually agreed to follow to Mortis as the embodiment of the Darkside, just so she can balance everything out. 

(Personal headcanon of mine, the moment a force wielder dies another one is created, if one doesn’t already exist that is. So yeah, she also agrees to find her one year old cousin and brings him there no she did not kidnap him hush).

The Jedi council notices the small shift in the force, and Kenobi, Skywalker, and Tano eventually figures out Mortis, and thanks to the fact that Anakin is a Force Wielder himself (I will never stop believing that), they manage.

The three of them expect to find the Son, or something like him in the Cathedral.

Instead, they find Vera on the floor meditating, her eyes dark and ominous and red markings over her white skin.

They questioned it, obviously, and she explained who and what she was. They didn’t believe her, why would they, and thought that the Son had just manipulated her. This angered her a little as the son, her father, had passed away just a few days earlier. A force manifestation doesn’t make it for that long without a body, and he had fulfilled his purpose by bringing her there.

She offered them to stay, and if they would declined she didn’t want them returning. They refused, and Vera snapped, attacking.

She nearly killed Ahsoka. She stood above her, her whips way to close to the Togrutas throat, eyes once again pitch black and fangs glimmering in the small light that was let in.

Anakin saved her life by slicing up Vera’s mouth, completely destroying parts of her lips. Everything stopped inside of Vera for a second as she was thrown back, blood pouring down her face. A force wielder could not die unless it was of the dagger, but physical damage could be caused to them.

The rage flooded inside her veins, and when she looked up back at her former master, brother padawan and sister, her eyes were neither black nor brown. They were red, and had no sign of her usual kind and happy nature left in them.

Vera lifted the three of the ground, and as angry tears streamed down her face she yelled at them to never return or she would end their life immediately, and then forced them out of Mortis. That was the last time she saw any of them.

She spent most of her days taking care of her cousin, Tartur, or meditating the pain away. Crying became a part of her routine. At first, she constantly checked Kenobi, Skywalker and Tano’s force presence, but stopped after just a few weeks as it hurt too much.

The purge almost gave her a heart attack, as it was so much pain and death at once. All the deaths mixed together made that she couldn’t clearly tell who died when, but when it was finally over she simply assumed that everyone was gone, including her former master and her sister. 

Skywalkers fall was understandable, she’d felt his possessive nature when she was still a Padawan, but she was still angered.

Tartur grew up hearing stories of the galaxy, the Jedi and the force. Vera taught him everything she knew about using the force and trained him in hand to hand combat and with a pole resembling a lightsaber. She never picked up her light whips after the day she nearly killed her sister.

Despite being the woman that raised him, and his family, and being the embodiment of light, Tartur grew up hating his cousin because she could leave, he couldn’t.

By Anakin, the child of the force, using the dark side, Tartur had to stay on Mortis to keep the balance and push light side into the force at all times.

Vera on the other hand could leave, or for a few days at least, but she chose not to unless it was for a supply run (This girl loves her son good hot chocolate), otherwise she stayed at all times.

When Maul died, she felt it which was a surprise to her for two reasons.

One, he survived for that long? Told you he was awesome!

And two, she hadn’t felt any deaths since the purge.

Obi-Wan was next, which nearly tore her open. His death actually made her leave Mortis just to find out what happened, and that was when she met a sunny force sensitive young boy named Skywalker. Wait a minute-!

Ahsoka’s death was the last one, years later. At this point she had nearly gotten used to it, and she was able to accept it.

It was also during this time that Tartur and her started to avoid each other for long periods of time. They kept to their side of the planet for sometimes weeks, sometimes longer. Once they went for two years.

After maybe a millions years of living on this planet, sulking for the most part, Vera decided to take initiative and actually see the galaxy, find out what happened to the places she used to love so much.

And the galaxy sure was...different. When she walked around, a cloak covering her dark Jedi looking robes and red eyes scanning the area, she noticed multiple untrained force sensitive beings.

During some quick research in a library, she learned that the Jedi were seen as myths and legends nowadays, and that very few people believed in their existence.

So she took some more initiative and managed to charm her way into talking in front of a couruscant school, her old masters teachings always comes to use, and before she knew it she stood on a stage in front of hundreds of wondering and confused eyes.

So she started simply, asking how many knew what a Jedi were, of which maybe a fourth of the school raised their hand, something that made her incredibly sad. When she asked how many believed in the Jedi, nearly everyone lowered their hand, except for a small Zabrak boy, maybe thirteen or fourteen years old.

The Zabrak boy got a few laughs from the audience, but Vera simply smiled kindly and asked for his name, which was Revar.

And then she explained the force, the Jedi, the Sith, tales of the old republic she’d heard as a child, the clone war, the empire the first order everything. Everything to these children, and no one said a word as she spoke, just stared at her in awe.

When she was finally done and her mouth was dry and she craved hot chocolate, an even younger Twi’lek girl raised her hand and asked what the Jedi were like.

After she answered that question, more hands flew into the air.

So she kept returning to that school, once every three months, to tell stories and answer questions. Some kids did a little research on their own and asked questions about specific Jedi, and she gladly told them of what she knew.

Around ten kids on the school were force sensitive, including Revar, and there were even some that were related to the Jedi of her time. This she never told them while on stage though, and instead in private. She taught these ten a few tricks to conceal their force abilities, but also how to do simple Jedi mind tricks or moving small objects.

More schools requested her, and after around three years with these kids she moved on to a different one. Eventually she stood on stage in front of entire planets, and from time to time even got help by Tartur.

Planets started to hail the Jedi more and more, and small monuments were built in their honor. Temples were created and some requested Vera to teach them, something she accepted.

Soon the Jedi were back, but in a different way than before. Instead of mainly using the light side, or mainly the dark side, it was a mix of both as that is what Vera are.

Vera and Tartur made sure this lasted for billions of years, teaching new younglings and making sure the older spread what they had learnt. Of course they had to regularly return to Mortis, but when they could they were traveling the galaxy.

Aeons after her birth, Vera finally passed away peacefully, her cousins promising to take care of the child that would be created when she was gone.

He didn’t cry, he’d seen this coming for days and he knew that his time weren’t that far away either.

Vera reunited with her family finally in the force, and she watched as what she had created continued to live on long after she was gone.

•

•

This took time! Like, really long time! Me, Vera and Kim talked for hours about this, and had to stop to rewatch the Mortis Arc in the middle of it. I actually like where we took this, and it was fun to do.

But for real, this took weeks, so be grateful

[oswednesday]

okay i guess characterization,

 i wish rey had more time to develop like a struggle, like a consistant narrative that unfolds over time, its not Worse than lukes but it could have been elevated beyond the pre-existing limits of star wars as it is like Its Star Wars but theres really so much room to tell these nuianced stories, she never gets the time to own her own suffering like anakin does and neither does ben either really its all just plot plot plot credits dfg but there are so many posts that was like legit They Made Her Into A Sue (its going to be 2020??) For These Reasons and like,,,that shit all ruled like hell wtf are you talking about, it was stupid and awesome but stuff would have felt more if it was more simplistic like that sounds like a step backwards i guess but if it was like rey has one issue, this issue stems from x, all the symbolism resolves around this issue, because there is  symbolism theres foreshadowing, like thats difficult even for solo writers with their own “ip” but it was really hurting for that, i think an easy fix would have been making the culture she came from extra family like its all that matters and have her have like been orphaned at some space nunery or something, her parents running and hiding her has been so done to death and the reveal that she had surpressed memories wasnt really satisfiying imo, i havnt read much of the reviews with neg stuff about her character, shes often just There,moving ghost like through the scenes (the actress was amazing dead like her acting is really good she just idk underwritten)

i guess that can be said about the whole cast tbh like completely underwritten, rose is brought in to break up the trio het it up obvi but the character is awesome and so is the actress who deserved to be apart of the group proper after the last movie : / she gets a nice scene with poe but its literally the only thing that happens after the last movie like fdfgdf??? she gets some lines but the character is underused, like used as much as unnamed background characters

finn is written soooo hostile in this movie too like whys he have so much beef fdjdgdf like okay theres a scene where it looks like poe is going to confess his feelings to rey which!! SURPISED me cause posts ive seen make it sound like they didnt even have screentime together, like, is it enough? no, but it is something dsfgh thanks for the crumbs, i guess you can read the hostility as jealousy and i kind do love that he brought it back up when they looked like they were going to be death squad’d with poe being like hey ill tell you later dssfgh, it as such a relief when random character from finns past was like no hetero and it was all done in head nods and how warm the scene was when finn and poe reunied and rey joined them in this super tender hug, that was nice

there was also like a half min of two women looking people making out so theres that

i feel like poe’s parts were better than the last movie but also like, under written, i really liked the scene when he meets another trooper, like, theres almost a moment of emotions happening, and i really enjoyed the ex-troopers side plot even though it was super short and kinda tacked on for the hets, she was a really expressive actress for what a small role she had!

i guess the major thing is i didnt feel like i knew or got closer to any of the main characters or like,,cared,,about what was going on and thats WILD for a three hour movie dfdgh

and i know i know this is going to sound awful but i actually liked that scene where ben like force heals her, like that kiss should have been just a forehead touch, or like, maybe his mom speaking to him through rey as he dies, like a lullyby or something, that was a pretty decent redemption arc in like force lore but it was like so strange what little lines he had during that whole thing, it was like, okay this is The character you want delivering a bunch of dry speeches instead of like finn or poe who should be more personal, it was just this weird basic half hour of silence from the cast who should be saying wack stuff with finn  and poe being the audience connection to these wackos?? finn the everyman and poe like the connector and with rose like the deep lore person,the formula was there?

also i think it would have been better is c3p0 died during then, like, if it was more emotionally built up where he recounts his life like the one who created him has died in many ways and many times, if the rebellion is going to end this then i too should go out with the empire, thank you all for being my friends or something like that LIKE THERE IS A SCENE SIMILAR but its super quick and they use the droids as constant slap stick, it doesnt make much sense for finn to be so mean to him through out???? after he sacrafices so much it makes finn this unpleastant character? like character growth would have had him like soften up a bit towards the droid when he comes back but i think it was a deprement to the plot to have that happen, imo it should have been something like my creator installed it in me after he rebuilt me after such and such battle so that i may be free from control of sith influences and then like request to be destroyed after the sith memories are re-instated? again it was just plot point plot point no emotional depth

chewbaca should have also died but that scene should have been better, done in genral also what was UP with that single military dude gettng some actual lighting in that scene fjugjhgh

it was uggh to just have palpatine regurgitate like narrative and not like, have rey come to that conclution herself with him like, saying words an actual person would say like its clear hes lying but its like theres no room to feel anything about it, it just barrels right through

her being like im a skywalker and fade out into the twin suns ruled SO hard tho

[gch1995]

I love Anidala in a tragic romance sort of way, but yeah, while Anakin had a reckless vicious streak in regards to enemies who fucked with him or those he cared about first and codependent side in regards to Padme that eventually became downright dangerously possessive and toxic when he went off the rails in RotS in his fear of losing her to a possible threat, Padme certainly wasn’t this perfect angel he idealized her as being either. I’m going to keep out stuff like the Clovis arc because I think it was a flanderdization of Anakin’s possessive flaw before he went dark.

In the movies, he was an anxious-avoidant, awkward, and naive late-teen to early twenties young adult who got attached to Padme too deeply and too quickly because she was the first person who was willing to let him talk to her about how he felt and his much his life as a Jedi sucked after enduring ten years of being emotionally/psychologically abused, isolated, neglected, and shut down by Obi-Wan, Yoda, the Jedi Council, and his peers in the Order for having valid individual needs and concerns, wanting to bond with them, and wanting stay in touch with his mother. Yeah, Palpatine was there, too, but he genuinely didn’t give any shits about Anakin, in spite of pretending to, and he was still a mentor/superior, not someone he could try to be partners and have a life with. Yes, he had an exceedingly vicious side in regards to his enemies, and he was codependent and clingy to those he got attached to. Internally, he sometimes had some feelings of jealousy over other people who tried to get close to her or others he cared about, but he also had those same issues with Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and Luke when they sided with other people over him, or got ahead, at least in part, because they were lucky.

Nonetheless, in the movies, Anakin never laid a hand on Padme or anyone else he cared about before that scene on Mustafar when he was high on the dark side for the first time, half out of his mind, and under the wrong impression that she had deliberately brought Obi-Wan to Mustafar after he went dark to execute him for Yoda when Obi-Wan walked out of her ship ready to kill him right as she was telling Anakin she loved him, but she couldn’t support him when he was going down this dark path that negatively affected her and her people now too. I think it makes more sense that, while not innocent, the high of the dark side for the first time in someone who is already so emotionally/psychologically unstable and seriously struggling with suppressed emotions, gave Anakin this sense of false invincibility when he was strangling Padme in a blind paranoia and rage in that moment.

Like, he genuinely was so overconfident in his control over this new power in the heat of the moment that he thought he could strangle Padme for a second to let out his rage in the moment without causing any lasting or lethal damage. Granted, he didn’t because Obi-Wan telling him to drop her twice brought him back to his senses enough to realize what he was doing, so he dropped her before he could strangle her to death. Plus, the Republic and Jedi were doomed, no matter who Anakin chose at that point, anyway, but his decision to go dark and his reckless force choke definitely did contribute to Padme’s ultimate demise of death by broken heart syndrome/trauma.

However, he never laid a hand on Padme or openly disrespected her before in the movies. Nor do I really buy that he would be the type of guy to start using his fists to beat people to death for vengeance. That’s more of Luke’s heat of the moment type rage. If Anakin’s really pissed off at someone in the heat of the moment, he’ll just stab them to death with his lightsaber quickly, grab them with a force choke to intimidate them, get answers, shut them up, or kill them, and/or, as his master Obi-Wan taught him, sever one or more of the limbs off from the arteries of his victims to “teach them a lesson in accepting loss and suffering.”

That being said, yeah, in regards to Padme’s flaws, she’s not intentionally evil, and in comparison to Obi-Wan Kenobi and the Jedi Council, she actually is somewhat of a healthier relationship for Anakin than they are. At least, she doesn’t make him feel like garbage for having valid feelings of anger, desire, and fear altogether. At least, she let’s him talk to her about those feelings without constantly judging him as being “dangerous,” “evil,” or “inhuman” altogether. At least, she encouraged him to go and look for his mother when he sensed she was in danger and went with him to help keep him out of trouble with Obi-Wan and the Council for leaving his post, rather than giving him Obi-Wan’s and Yoda’s bullshit dismissals and platitudes of “Dreams pass in time” and “Rejoice in death,” even though they knew very well that there entirely was a real possibility that Anakin’s force visions of his loved ones being in danger could come true.

Padme is also rather arrogant, inconsiderate, hypocritical, and selfish in her willfully naive attitude in regards to harsh reality right in front of her in her fear of the unknown, and doesn’t treat serious issues that she sees in Anakin, the Republic, and the Jedi Order until she is negatively affected by them as a result. Much like Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the Jedi Order, she wants to bring peace and harmony to the galaxy, but she’s so hyper-focused on achieving the end result of peace and harmony by holding on to security at all costs that she overlooks the fact that she actually has to be willing to let it go and take the risk of standing up for what’s right to achieve truly lasting peace and security, even when all the odds seem to be against her succeeding.

You can’t just keep pretending everything will be okay when you know they are not, only freak out when you and the people you care about are seriously negatively affected by those problems you continued to tell yourself would get better if you pretended they would, and then suddenly expect for the negative consequences of your denial of those serious issues to settle down and go away if you run away from them. Tragically, that is something that Padme does all through the prequels until the very end, not just in regards to Anakin’s flaws, but Obi-Wan’s flaws, the Jedi Order’s flaws, and the flaws of the overall Republic she serves as a whole.

In the Phantom Menace, at 14 years old, Padme goes to Tatooine, and is genuinely horrified to realize that slavery is a serious issue on this planet in the outer rims because the authorities of the Republic government she has served her whole life won’t do anything to help implement a proper legal system and ban slavery there. However, we never see her talking to her advisors about doing more to help them out, even though at least two of these slaves went out of their ways to risk their lives to protect her and her two weird military monk body guards without any thought of reward for themselves. I get that Padme is only one person and a 14 year old girl at this point, so it’s not really on her that the outer rims have been neglected by the Republic she’s serving, and I get that she couldn’t just save everyone on the outer rims by herself.

Padme at the very least owed it to Anakin and Shmi to try her best to protect them and free them from slavery, though, considering all the risks they took to protect her, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gonn Jinn without any requests for a reward in return. Yet, she doesn’t do that because they aren’t her more pressing concern and she decides to believe that the authorities will take care of it, even though they haven’t in all this time.

Ten years later, Padme is a twenty-four year old senator of the Republic who falls for Anakin and faithfully serves her Republic. While she means well, we still see that she hasn’t done anything to try to mitigate the issue of slavery on Tatooine for Anakin’s mom or any of the other slaves because she still tells herself “the authorities will take care of it.”

While it absolutely is true that there was no real legal system on Tatooine to deal with crime in a fair and proper manner, and Padme had no authority to punish Anakin for committing voluntary mass manslaughter of the Tusken Raiders by putting him on trial for his crimes in court, or putting him in jail, Padme still sees that Anakin is visibly feeling simultaneously angry at the Tuskens for abducting and torturing his mother to death, angry with himself for not being able to save her life in time, deeply ashamed and guilty over not being able to save her, and deeply ashamed and guilty over being willing to take out his rage against other people who presented themselves as enemies and potential threats in such a horrifically merciless and vindictive manner. It is entirely valid for Anakin to be feeling very angry and hurt by the clan of Tusken Raiders for abducting and torturing his mother to death. He should be able to feel safe talking about it, and it is genuinely horrible and unfair that there was no proper legal system to charge and put a stop to the Tuskens for their crimes of terrorism against his mother and the people of his village.

That being said,most of the the Tuskens in that village were not blameless and helpless victims, this massacre Anakin committed went beyond just reasonable self-defense. He willingly killed a number of these Tusken Raiders when their guards were down, including the children who would have had nothing to do with his mother’s abduction and torture, in a personal desire for vengeance and excessive fear of the unknown. However, while Padme does help somewhat by comforting Anakin in that moment in AOTC, she also seems to overlook the fact that he’s not in a healthy state of mind or very happy being a Jedi at all.

Anakin seems to be sticking with it out of a sense of duty and obligation because one of them took him in from slavery, and he has nothing else in the Republic to fall back on for a job, never does she think to say. Throughout the entirety of AOTC, RotS, and TCW, his interactions with Padme make it clear that he is tired of living as a Jedi, but continues to stay with it, even after being knighted and marrying Padme, because he has no one else outside of the Republic or Jedi after his mother dies. His two closest relationships that offer him any form of security, aside from Palpatine, who is grooming him for evil, are with two people who are also deeply flawed to the point of selfishness and toxicity to Anakin himself in their enablement and/or perpetration of whatever corruption benefits and/or doesn’t affect them in their fear of the unknown, hypocritical morality, pride, willful denial, and repeated insistence that Anakin continue to bottle up his better instincts, personal issues, and true feelings to fit in to protect his reputation, to protect their reputations, to protect them, to protect himself, and to protect the galaxy, even when he tried to tell them that he was tired of keeping his relationship with Padme a secret, tired of being a Jedi, and tired of pretending to fit in and be someone he was not.

While they’re not responsible for Anakin’s actions, nor did they deserve what happened to them in response for refusing to encourage him to do better and stand up for himself by being honest and getting away from these broken systems before he completely lost his shit, Obi-Wan and Padme are also partially responsible for enabling and reinforcing Anakin’s decline in emotional/mental stability and his slave mindset by continuing to pressure him to keep following along with these systems that they knew were broken in their own arrogance, fear of the unknown, and selfishness I don’t think their intentions were malicious, or that they never truly loved Anakin at all, and I do get where their fears were coming from, especially with Padme. She got pregnant with Anakin’s kids by the time of Revenge of the Sith, she had to be the breadwinner, and she knew the Jedi Council wouldn’t hesitate to recruit their kids as Jedi if they found out about them. Obi-Wan really had nothing outside of the Jedi Order either. However, they definitely did not do their best to help Anakin or other people who they knew were suffering because of their system’s methods. Much like Anakin himself eventually became, they became too selfish to do that in their fear of taking that risk.

honestly I do think a Padmé who was actually principled and courageous would have been a fantastic character if they’d managed to write her that way but part of me really does love the mess of ‘I can fix him’ living-in-a-barbie-dreamhouse-fantasyland Padmé we actually end up with when all the pieces of her character that we actually got are cobbled together

[lurkingcrow]

I should be finishing a whole heap of ficlets, but it’s been FOREVER since I participated in some high quality crack. So, I thought it’s time to bring out a concept I have been teasing @generallkenobi with. Now certain friends (*cough* @resistancepilots @asokatanos @aifsaath @forcearama @albaparthenicevelut etc) might read the following words with trepidation, but bear with me:

Sith Anakimono.

Imagine if you will, a universe where Knight Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker are unexpectedly lost on a mission, and find themselves stuck on a planet/in an ancient temple with a bevy of Sith ghosts for company.

It’s bad. There’s no way out and they are surrounded by Darkness. And Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan has lost so much, he is NOT going to lose Anakin. He will do ANYTHING to protect his Padawan, no matter the situation.

And of course, that’s the crack the Sith Ghosts use to get in.

Anakin NEEDS him. Its not wrong, not for the sake of HIS Padawan. HE can take it. HE can protect the boy. It is his DUTY, is it not ,to face it?

And of course these aren't Banite Sith Ghosts. They look at Obi-Wan in mock astonishment: “Why the goal of a Sith is not evil, it is power, power to be FREE, to do whatever one DREAMS of. And is not your dream a noble one little Jedi? To protect your apprentice?"

And even Obi-Wan Kenobi, stalwart of the Light, has his flaws. And bit by bit the ghosts chip away at him. 

“Can you REALLY protect the boy as you are now?"

And well, it’s been ages, here in this Dark place, and Anakin is all he has left, the bright light in his days. And Anakin has been trying so HARD -  it is not easy, and only the small boons Obi-Wan wins from the ghosts have allowed them to survive.

In the end it is Anakin, shivering, his eyes dull, his face gaunt, hiding the evidence of illness just so Obi-Wan wouldn’t worry, that breaks Obi-Wan.

If it will save Anakin, he will Fall.

And so he does.

.

Of course, as a Sith, Obi-Wan laps up knowledge like water - after all he has made his decision.

(the Sith Ghosts are pleased beyond measure, he is such a GOOD pupil)

Anakin though, Anakin is worried. But Obi-Wan looks at him and smiles gently and tells him that  he is worth it.

And that? That pretty much seals the deal -  the Chancellor was WRONG, and Obi-Wan has chosen ANAKIN over the council, over the Jedi, over EVERYTHING. 

For that, he will follow his Master ANYWHERE. Even into the Dark.

Besides, if the Sith are all about freedom, maybe they WILL get around to freeing the slaves one day, together...

And thus is born Darth Solence and his Apprentice Vader

.

Now over time their codependence just grows. And as Obi-Wan is freer with his affections Anakin grows more used to that level of attention.

It becomes a feedback loop

Which means, by the time of the Clone Wars, there are a pair of irrationally Attached Sith roaming about who COULD destroy/conquer the galaxy but can’t be bothered and are FAR more concerned with more immediate matters.

Like each other.

Or the shortage of Anakin’s favourite conditioner. He almost committed genocide, until it was brought to his attention that there WAS sufficient supply but it was being hoarded by some high up person in order to artificially raise the price and... well this when the galaxy learns that anti-corruption measures are best enforced rather than having Lord Vader take the crusade into his own hands.

( Much later certain elements take to “aiming” Lord Vader at sources of corruption/slavery/other horrors through similar efforts. Lord Solence knows, but is too amused by it all to intervene. Besides, Obi-Wan LIKES Anakin all bloody and feral and flushed with victory...)

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves here. By the time of AOTC the galaxy is only hearing rumours about the very charming Sith and his overgrown Murdercat of a partner.

The description is rather accurate. Anakin brings Obi-Wan all sorts of bloody presents, has been known to knock ancient Sith artefacts off high ledges and go around marking people as : “Mine” “Mine” “Mine” *hiss* “Not mine!”.

 Perhaps more pertinently however is his habit of lounging on his Master’s lap demanding head pets or lurking behind said Sith to unnerve those seeking an audience with the dread Lord Solence. 

Obi-Wan thinks Anakin is ADORABLE.

(It’s why again, much later, he smiles indulgently as Anakin singlehandedly decimates Zygerria -literally decimates the message needs to get out about how unwise it is to run a slaving empire after all and Obi-Wan is a believer in efficiency- and why part of Nal Hutta BURNS for Anakin’s brithday one year.)

Obi-Wan will do anything for his boy.

 His boy.

Not Sidious’.

Because that? That is what seals Palpatine’s fate. 

A number of incidents reveal that the Chancellor has taken an interest in the new elements in play. And in Lord Vader in particular.

He wants Anakin. And Anakin? Is Obi-Wan’s. Full stop.

This simply Will Not Do.

Lord Solence is out for more than blood. He is out for complete and utter ruination.

And this is how the Jedi Order, and the Republic ends up getting the unasked for assistance of a pair of mad Sith Lords set on ridding the galaxy of the Line of Bane.

.

There are many tales about our codependent pair. 

For a start, yes, of course there are pancakes.

Pancakes were Obi-Wan's bribe of choice all the way through Anakin's apprenticeship. And you can bet that Anakin loved every bite.

Of course, eventually puberty hit, and  Anakin began implying he'd accept something else. But Obi-Wan seems to completely miss the hint  and ask if he meant he wanted waffles instead. 

His continued lack of clue causes Anakin's frustration to grow. Along with his power. And Anakin decides that the only way to make his intentions clear is to be strong enough to MAKE Obi-Wan accept them, as a full fledged Sith Lord.

And then one day, he completes a difficult and dangerous mission, one that challenged all his skills, one that was a WORTHY trial for a young Sith.  And high on his victory he grabs Obi-Wan by the shoulders and kisses him full on.

Obi-Wan just smiles, reaches one hand up and with barely a moment’s movement severs the braid Anakin had kept for so long.

 “Congratulations LORD Vader. I was wondering why you would act. Sexual frustration is a powerful motivator, is it not?"he purrs and Anakin is about to settle in for an EPIC pout until Obi-Wan pets his hair, kisses him again and informs him that  he only Kisses those WORTHY of standing by his side. He wants a PARTNER. He knew Anakin would get there one day, it was just a matter of WHEN. Anakin SWOONS.

(While Anakin will ALWAYS be HIS Apprentice, Obi-Wan was not about to sleep with someone under his tutelage - he likes his partners VERY willing and knowing Anakin COULD kill him if it came to it? Super hot.) 

.

And then there is the time they decide to thwart a certain plan to silence Senator Amidala of Naboo... And discover she has it covered. With a blaster.

Pointed at them.

While she spits out a series of breathtaking insults against the CIS, Count Dooku and his assasins (which she assumes they are).

The boys are impressed,

There may of may not be hearteyes involved. 

There was... definitely some cringing and identity reveal.

( Obi-Wan lowers his hood, red eyes gleaming and smile wide  “It's lovely to see you again, milady - I can assure you we mean no harm" *suave hair flick*  She stutters. Padme never stutters "Ob...Knight Kenobi? You're alive!? But that means... Ani????"t  *said man removes his hood, grinning* "Ani, you've.... grown" “So have you. Grown more beautiful... for a Senator I mean”) 

.

The first bunch of flowers turns up within an hour of her getting back to Coruscant.

 A few days later Padme finds a bloodied Nate Gunray tied up with a giant bow outside her apartments. A box of chocolates and a datachip containing crucial intel are stuffed in his hat.

( Anakin was originally torn between being smitten and outraged that she was pointing a blaster at HIS Obi-Wan. On the other hand, this is his Master, and he is obviously in no danger and, ooh that is his impressed beard twitch!  Anakins' brain begins to put together the possibilities and HE nearly gets shot. A quick discussion afterwards and a reaffirmation that “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine” and the boys decide upon a joint wooing. Given that in this universe Anakin doesn’t have the padawan cut, and Obi-Wan is wearing colours other than beige, Padme is doomed.)

This mission is also the point in which they reestablish contact with Jedi Master  Plo Koon, who was assigned to protect Senator Amidala alongside his new Padawan, Ahsoka Tano.

The boys think Ahsoka, who back talks to them like they AREN’T a pair of Murderous Madmen, is wonderful.  They totally want to steal her. Except they’re kind of fond of Plo, who remembers the Jedi they once were, has taken a more conciliatory approach to these Sith than the rest of the Council might approve of.

("Master Plo, you appear to have acquired a pair of Sith shadows." "They followed me home. Can I..." "No. You may NOT adopt the Sith reigning destruction and mayhem across the galaxy!" "But little 'Soka likes them! )

Plo, Ahsoka and Padme form an unofficial alliance. Anakin and Obi-Wan are undeniably Dark, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be convinced to work on the side of good! Also, they’re not sure just how much of the offer to grant Padme the galaxy on a silver platter was actually a joke...

Ok, that’s it for the moment! There’s plenty more to play with because you KNOW that the boys are going to completely ruin Palpatine’s plans in the most spectacular fashion, Dooku is going to have to deal with Obi-Wan’s complete and utter disdain ( "He claims to have loved Qui-Gon and yet he serves the man responsible for his death?? How very Sith rolls eyes"), Ventress is out there to induce Anakin’s jealousy (”Don't worry pretty boy, I like my men a little more... obedient") and just generally the tale of Sith Anakimono who has NO shame and an EVEN MORE attentive Master...

:)

[qirahsoka]

WHY YODA IS ARGUABLY THE BIGGEST BITCH IN STAR WARS

When someone says the words, “Star Wars,” typically, the first things to pop into one’s mind go something along the lines of laser swords, space monks, cool ships, and Yoda. Yes, Yoda, he’s that archetypal oracle on the mount; a tiny but incredibly powerful space wizard. Kind of like Dumbledore or Gandalf, just much shorter and green.

Being one of the most iconic characters of the original trilogy, the alien has gained a mass following over time. His famous pearls of wisdom and goofy yet simultaneously stoic have captured the hearts of middle-aged men all over the world that his fan base has become something akin to a cult. Seriously, just look around. His face is plastered over merchandise and his name irrevocably branded to the Star Wars franchise. He is everywhere.

But why? Why has this little green goblin become such an iconic Star Wars character? Many old OT fanboys would tell you he was the heart and soul of a millennium of light side force instruction for the Jedi, embodying what it truly meant to be a force for good. They’d say he was a wise go-to source for acquiring knowledge, a humble and kind know-it-all who could solve almost every problem in the galaxy with his powerful insight and wisdom.

Ironic, since his so called “wisdom” is the cause of almost every problem in the Star Wars universe.

    PART I: I’M NOT A BAD PERSON, I SWEAR! BUT HERE, LET ME JUST ENCOURAGE SLAVERY

 Let’s take our minds back, all the way back to the Phantom Menace. Ah, yes, the dreaded Episode I of the prequel trilogy. Where we’re introduced to little Ani, the pint-sized version and frankly, just as bold, of Darth Dad. So, Master Qui-Gon, being a complete darling, swoops Anakin under his wing and whisks him away to Coruscant after learning of his intensely powerful force sensitivity. Here Anakin undergoes a test in the Jedi Council room to determine whether or not this supposed “Chosen One” is who he appears to be. So here’s Anakin, a tiny-nine-year old boy, a former slave who was just abruptly taken from his mother and the only life he’s ever known, on a completely new planet surrounded by a circle of strangers.

And Yoda, being the toad he is, has the audacity to tell him he is too full of fear to be a Jedi. Well, thank you for pointing out the obvious, oh mighty Grandmaster. No shit, of course this little boy is going to be fearful. He’s in a completely new world, halfway across the galaxy from his home planet, without the only person he’s ever trusted and loved, his mother, and he’s unsure he’s ever going to see her again. He’s been planted into the middle of a ring of some of the most powerful beings in the galaxy and, to be completely honest, it kind of looks like he’s being offered as some kind of sacrifice to a cult of magic space people. Yet Yoda, who is supposed to be the embodiment of compassion, cannot find it in his heart to let the boy down gently. He is hypocritical, claiming Anakin’s intense inner fear is the reason of his failure, but in actual reality, it is Yoda who is scared of a little boy. So, instead he turns him away and plans to send him back to his mother and resume a life of slavery.

That’s right. The Grandmaster of the Jedi Order sending a kid back to be a slave. Wonderful.

Yoda has had quite the run with slavery. He’s basically the head guy of the Jedi, who are the peacekeepers of the galaxy and deliverers of justice. So why was justice not given to the trillions of slaves in the outer rim? Before the war, the Jedi had more than enough resources to rid planets of slavery, and with the aid of the Republic, the Outer Rim’s slaves could have been freed in a matter of years. But no, Yoda deemed them unimportant to their cause and had no intention to help them. So it’s no surprise that no further actions were taken to free Shmi or the many other slaves in the galaxy, not after Yoda considered sending her child back to chains. Evidently, his sense of justice and compassion has become majorly distorted over the years.

   PART II: THAT TIME SHIT WENT DOWN WITH AHSOKA

 Speaking of justice, let’s jump 12 or so years into the future and take a look at some of the events during the Clone War, as shown through the eyes of The Clone Wars animated TV series. This cartoon introduced us to a multitude of new and incredibly complex characters, such as Captain Rex, Fives, and most importantly, Ahsoka Tano. Her character was introduced as a brash and smart-mouthed girl, one whose snippiness earned her her name and whose recklessness could rival that of her Master’s. Over time, the character who audiences initially despised grew and flourished under Anakin’s tutelage and she developed into one of the most beloved and important Star Wars characters, so much so she has earned her own novel and reappearances and references in other media such as books, comics, and even TV shows.

It was early into the war where we were introduced to the spunky young padawan. It is revealed that Anakin did not choose her to be his student, which has been typical Jedi protocol for thousands of years. Instead, she had been assigned to him, much like Anakin was to Obi-Wan. Yoda, typically, was behind this unorthodox pairing, claiming it would teach Anakin a lesson in attachment, seeing as the little green gremlin is so disapproving of Anakin’s compassion. Yoda explicitly states that the Council hopes that training a Padawan will help Anakin deal with attachments because the Padawan, eventually, must either a) move on or b) die.

So basically, Yoda just sent a 14-year-old girl into a warzone, a child soldier, to be Anakin’s student, so he can watch her die and then get over it. This little girl was literally sent to Anakin so he could, once again, become too attached to her, then he could watch her leave or die or whatever sick plan Yoda had concocted for her, and then get over it, all in the hopes that this would magically cure Anakin of being over attached. Oh, goody! What a completely fool proof plan this is, this will definitely cure Anakin of being a decent, loving human being! Absolutely nothing could go wrong! EXCEPT THAT IS DOES.

 It’s about two years later when Ahsoka is framed for murder and treason against the Jedi and the Republic after the temple is bombed. She goes on the run in an attempt to prove her innocence, since Yoda commands the Jedi to hunt her down. She is brought in before the Jedi and is trialed before them to determine her innocence or guilt. It is quite obvious the Jedi know she is innocent; she has served in the war dutifully for years and has made many friends among the council. But here comes good ol’ Tarkin, telling Yoda and the council that they have to expel her from the order so she can have a military tribunal, free of bias lies, deception). So of course, we expect the Jedi to tell Tarkin to stick his request further up his backside than that stick already in there, because why would they desert one of their own? Yoda would never throw one of his young students to the dogs at the slightest inconvenience, he would never abandon them in their time of need! Well, surprise plot twist! He does.

Knowing perfectly well that she is innocent, he exiles her from the order so the Republic can trial her. Just a side note, the Republic end up almost sentencing her to death, a minor, without sufficient evidence, which Yoda knew would happen. He doesn’t even give her a chance to properly argue their statement or explain why she ran from them, instead chalking her claims down to “her vision being clouded with the Dark Side.” Yeah, okay, that’s fine. Just condemn a teenage girl to death, why don’t you?

So anyways, Anakin ends up proving her innocence for her since Yoda made no move to defend her. Long story short, they end up offering to reinstate her position in the GAR and also offer her Knighthood because bribing people in an attempt to make them forget you wronged them is perfectly okay. Not only does he do this, but he never even apologises to her. No, “sorry, I know I basically condemned you to an execution even though you’ve served this order since you were three years old, I was completely wrong!” Just silence, while beside him, Mace wonderfully offers no condelences either for traumatising this girl and instead excuses their wrongs by saying it was actually her great trial. “Haha! Surprise, this was all just a big joke. You weren’t really gonna be killed, it was just your Knighthood trial! You’ve just been pranked by the prank patrol!”

So, Ahsoka, being the wonderful and smart girl she is, takes no shit from them and turns on her heel and leaves the order, consequently leaving Anakin. He’s pretty shattered, considering the girl he thinks of as a daughter just walked away from him and the only life she’s ever known. Here’s where the plan goes wrong: remember that oh-so-great plan Yoda had, the one where Ahsoka would leave and Anakin would get over it and cure his attachment issues? Yeah, no.

   PART III: THINK I CAN’T CONDEMN THE ENTIRE GALAXY TO A REIGN OF EVIL? HOLD MY BEER!

 Instead, this ordeal only pushes him further to the Dark Side, meaning Yoda’s plan has completely and utterly backfired. Didn’t exactly think that one through, did you, mate? Oh well, there’s still time to fix this, Yoda. Just tell Anakin that it’s okay to love and be attached to people, that it’s okay to be compassionate and caring, just as long as you don’t let attachments control you. This would’ve been some pretty good advice, some words Anakin desperately needed as he spiralled further towards the Dark Side. But no, as if Yoda hasn’t already learnt from his mistakes, he only makes them worse. Instead, when Anakin is almost at breaking point, he tells him, “Rejoice for those around us who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy, the shadow of greed, that is." Anakin then questions what he must do, to which Yoda replies, "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."

Okay, people. We realise that Yoda just told Anakin to let Padme die, right? Anakin came to him so he could have guidance from the damn Grandmaster of the Order, and Yoda simply tells him oh, yeah, sorry mate, save them? No can do. Just let them die. You’ll get over it, bro. I’m sorry, but, do you literally never learn? You, of all people, know just how attached this man gets, and yet you still think that letting the ones he loves die is a good idea? Okay. Whatever. You do you, boo boo. You just better hope this doesn’t have any dire consequences, such as, I don’t know, the creation of one of the most powerful Sith Lords ever, the death of the Jedi Order and the Empire.

Look, I know Palpatine is basically the mastermind behind everything. He manipulated Anakin from when he was a boy and turned the Republic against the Jedi. But, come on, you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that Yoda was completely innocent. It was his own fault, from his hypocrisy to his ignorance, that the Jedi fell. He and the Jedi were working for the Dark Lord of the Sith for years and had no idea. Completely oblivious. Like, eating lunch with him. Taking orders from him. Sending inter-office funny emails back and forth. Yet, somehow, Yoda still had the gall to accuse both Ahsoka and Anakin for their sense of clarity being clouded. Um, okay, take a look at yourself, sweetie.

He had no regard, at all, for upholding the Jedi values. It was entirely his fault that he allowed his students to fall because he was responsible for caring for them and ensuring they were trained properly. Hell, he couldn’t even keep his own student from falling, and that’s not even adding to the fact that Dooku later became one of the most powerful Sith lords ever. Yoda’s students-going-crazy track record goes to show how much his methods have failed; two out of five students from his lineage fell to the Dark Side and one left the order. Yeah, kinda goes to show how far acting like a too-good-for-anyone-of-a-lower-rank-than-me-which-is-everyone attitude gets you.

So at this point it’s pretty clear; we’ve established that Yoda is dumb as hell. But, with the Jedi fallen and evil taking control of the galaxy, and after two decades of exile, he must have had some time to reflect on what he’s done wrong, right? Wrong.

  PART IV: YOU THINK I FUCKED YOU UP? WAIT ‘TIL I FUCK THE REST OF THE FAMILY UP

 So here we are. It’s 19 BBY and Anakin has gone on a bloody killing spree. Palpatine’s claimed himself as the Emperor and the galaxy’s in turmoil. Meanwhile, Yoda’s waiting on the asteroid of Polis Massa in relative safety waiting patiently on Kenobi’s arrival. And then here comes Obi-Wan carrying a half-choked-to-death Padme Amidala into the operating room because Jesus Christ she’s giving birth. We all know how the story goes. Padme dies, leaving her two children in the hands of Bail, Obi-Wan and Yoda. Yoda, being the complete genius he is, offers to split the children up, which strategically isn’t a bad move. But I can guarantee you, if Padme was still alive and Anakin were there, together they would’ve bashed Yoda’s brains out. Splitting the two most important children in the galaxy up is completely dishonouring Padme’s wishes, and there is no way she would approve of that. Anakin simply would’ve gutted Yoda before he had the chance to finish.

So twenty something years go by, and Luke somehow makes his way to Yoda, who has spent the last two decades in exile. Classic Yoda, taking the coward’s way out. Ahsoka and Kannan, two of the last Jedi who escaped Order 66 decided not to be cowards and put their skills to good use, fighting in the rebellion. They didn’t hide; instead they knew they had military experience and could use their forces to do good in the galaxy and fight the Empire. Even Obi-Wan had a good reason for remaining in exile; he had to look over one of the most powerful force users and make sure he was kept safe. But Yoda, good old Yoda. He had literally no reason for being in exile, and instead of fighting, he cowered.

Anyways, Luke decides he wants a real Jedi to train him! Yay! It’s all fun and games ‘til we realise that Yoda has not learnt a single. Damn. Lesson. I kid you fucking not. This dude literally had 20 years to reflect on what could have possibly gone wrong with his mentoring so, when the opportunity arises again to teach, he wouldn’t fuck it up. But no.

Arguably Yoda’s biggest fuck up with Anakin was that, instead of teaching Anakin that it’s okay to have attachments and to love as long as you don’t let them control your actions, he taught him that attachments were evil and they were a direct link to the Dark Side. Not only is this completely false, but Yoda knew better than to say this to Anakin, of all people. The whole damn Order knew how attached Anakin became to people and honestly, he wasn’t even discrete about it. So why the hell would Yoda be encouraging Anakin to leave his friends behind for the greater good? It was because of this philosophy that had been constantly rammed into Skywalker’s head that he fell. Instead of helping Anakin acknowledge his emotions so he can deal with them in a healthy manner, Yoda tells him to just push them down, or “release them into the Force,” whatever the fuck that means. If Anakin had been taught to embrace his feelings instead of pushing them down to the point of explosion, he wouldn’t have fallen.

So, we’ve established that it was pretty much Yoda and the Jedi’s teachings that caused the galaxy to fall into a period of turmoil, even if it was indirect and unintentional. By this point, two decades on when Luke lands (or rather, crashes) onto Yoda’s doorstep, the piece of shit gargoyle should have figured out what went wrong with this teachings and how to fix it, like any good teacher would. Bitch, you thought.

Instead, Yoda does the exact same shit that got him there in the first place. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it, right?

I’ll give it to the little guy; he started out alright, even if his old philosophies make literally zero sense. “Do or do not, there is no try,” what the fuck, you can’t do something without trying to do it, that’s literally how you do something. That’s always pissed me off, but anyways. It’s when the events of Cloud City start rolling in is where the problem arises. Luke comes to Yoda, does a bit of training, etcetera. Yoda tells him to look deep into the force, where Luke then sees a vision of his friends in grave peril in Cloud City. He expresses these concerns to his little green mentor, telling him Leia and Han need him and he must go to save them.

Its at this point where Yoda goes, “Fuck it. Esketit, bitch.”

It’s legitimately like Yoda doesn’t even give a single fuck at this point. I mean, who cares your training fucked up this boy’s dad, let’s just do it all over again! So, much to Luke’s chagrin, Yoda tells him he must complete his training and stay. “You must not go,” he tells him, before lifting his ship and submerging it into the swamp water. Man, what a fucking dick move.

Guess he realised how shitty that was so he later takes the ship back out. Luke decides he’s had enough with this goblin-lookin’ ass and starts departing for Bespin. Once again Yoda, now with ghost Obi’s help, tries in a desperate final move to make Luke stay, telling him he must complete his training and that only a fully-fledged Jedi Knight will have a chance at defeating Vader. Luke says he doesn’t give a fuck, he just wants to save his friends, to which Yoda replies he must sacrifice them if Luke honours what they fight for. Luke’s pretty pissed by this and, in true Skywalker manner, disobeys the two Jedi and leaves anyways, and rightly so. If someone told me I had to let my friends die horrible deaths just so I can stay in some shitty swamp I’d pummel them.

That sounds rather familiar, actually. Yoda telling someone to leave his friends behind for the greater good. Oh, wait! That’s exactly what he said to Anakin before the poor dude fucked up the entire galaxy. But, of course, Yoda doesn’t give a flying fuck about that, now does he?

   PART V: OTHER STUFF THAT PROVES HOW SHITTY HE IS

 So, at this point we’ve pretty much analysed most of the dumb shit Yoda has pulled that we know of in canon, but there’s a heap more. If I were to go into depth with everything, this would become a 10,000 word essay real quick, so let’s just skim over some points:

 ·         Yoda’s a damn big hypocrite. I know I’ve already stated this in one context, but here’s another; Yoda wants complete loyalty to the Jedi and their morals, but isn't loyalty a type of attachment? Yoda gets real upset when people don’t show complete and utter adherence to the Code. So, I’m honestly kind of confused; is he encouraging attachment or not?

 ·         Here’s another context in which he’s a hypocritical bastard; in regards to age, he claimed Anakin was too old to be a Jedi at age nine. But according to this source, Yoda did not become a Jedi until he was an adult. And seeing as his species live for about nine hundred years, I’d say it’s pretty safe to assume he became a Jedi after at least one hundred years of living. So Yoda can shut the fuck up, thanks.

 ·         Yoda is a homophobe. This statement is a pretty well-known fact around fandom, so I don’t really need to go into specifics here besides mentioning that he fucked over Ahsoka and Luke, both known gays, and beat Artoo with a stick, an iconic droid lesbian.

 ·         Yoda was responsible for directly exploiting Obi-Wan’s naivety and lack of experience so he could be used as a mere tool. He knighted Obi-Wan at too young of an age and didn't let him grieve properly, sticking him with a former slave and hoping things would turn out just fine. Anakin had just been taken from his mother, and needed time to get used to being a (relatively, in a sense) free boy and Jedi protocol. Yoda repeatedly forced Obi into situations where he had to ignore his own good judgement and attachment to Anakin just so he could follow the Council’s orders.

   So, in short, I think it’s pretty clear that we’ve noted Yoda is Star Wars’ biggest asshole.

@anti-yoda