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captnjacksparrow · 3 years ago

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hi, thank you so much for your detailed answer to my ask (i’m the anon who asked about kishimotos take on women) and i couldn’t agree more!! it’s true that i asked this specific question because i’ve seen many fans (particularly hinata and sakura fans yikes) claim this. they love to say that kishimoto sucks at writing women because hinata and sakura apparently had “potential” and could have been written better. i never thought they’re badly written tbh. they’re just supposed to be this way. besides, like you said, we have great female characters like tsunade, konan etc. also i never thought hinata or sakura truly ever had POTENTIAL like so many of their fans claim. lee and neji had wayyy more potential but were sadly ignored in shippuden. lee even used to be one of my fav characters in part 1 and i was so excited to see more of him but i was so disappointed.. kishimoto could have done so much with his character. but i wouldn’t go around and call kishi a misandrist. like i completely get the need of wanting to see great female characters, especially main characters, represented in media, i do but we have other characters in naruto that aren’t hinata or sakura that are great. most people just even talk about them because they’re dating the main characters (sasuke & naruto). i guess sakura would have been talked about either way cause she’s one of the main characters but hinata is pretty sure only ever mentioned because she’s married to naruto. otherwise i don’t think anyone would ever want to talk about her. she’s so boring and uninteresting. i only think that kishimoto could have written sakura differently. like she could have been an entire different character. but he chose to write her that way and i’m gonna respect that. doesn’t mean he hates women or doesn’t know how to write them. anyway, sorry for the long rant you don’t need to answer to this i just wanted to respond to what you said.

Thanks for this supportive Ask in response to this post, Anon... Atleast your ask encouraged me to keep writing....

Because I received 3 nasty hate asks and 2 decent criticism after that post.. And I just hated to write posts after that. Because that was so vulgar to the extent of describing my "parts" you know... It's very similar to how Boys abuse girls in real life....

AND I AM DAMN SURE THE PEOPLE WHO SENT ME THOSE ASKS ARE GIRLS WHO WANKS FOR SAKURA AND HINATA.

Because since when do boys give 2 flying fucks about Misogyny????

Hating Girls with a prejudiced opinion is essentially called Misogyny and they are doing this to me, another Girl who is a real person unlike those lifeless Anime Characters.... So, Not everyone knows what is mean by Misogyny, do they????

And what’s perplexing for me is, I got 5 Asks and all of their interpretation about Misogyny were very different. I’ll just draw the important points from those Ugly Asks and reply here...

[[Disclaimer 1: If there are any closet Sakura and Hinata fans monitoring my blog... Please come out and send me more hate asks... Because this post is for you... And if you do that it would be very easy for me to block you like some pest...]]

[[Disclaimer 2: Even though this is a Naruto based post.... I will bring in Characters from other media like Game of Thrones... If there are any Daenerys Targaryen Fans out there... Don’t read this post...]]

Argument No.1: Your world views are so immature because you are so drenched in Yaoi Novels whereas in reality Women are not like that at all...

LOL.... I don’t even read SNS fanfiction, (I started couple of them and it’s all halfway)... As for Yaoi... I read only 4 and I don’t ship SNS in that way at all.... Without knowing any of these facts, What makes you assume that I am immature???

Just because I said, “Remove your Gender Lens when you consume a Gay media”...??? Well, what’s wrong with that claim anyway?

And what makes you think that Real women are not like Sakura or Hinata???? I personally knew a real life Sakura and royally screwed up by her just like how she ignored Naruto... And what does that make me??? An alien???

Argument No.2: Sakura and Hinata are supposed to be the Heroines and we must get inspired from them... But instead of that, we ended up hating them... Because the author was a misogynist...

LOLOLOL....

Why am I feeling Nostalgic???? This is the same shit I faced in GoT fandom and I left that shithole because of those idiots went on harassing other people and now here they are in Naruto Fandom as well... Some Erudite peeps who thinks Heroines must always be inspirational....

Well, If you really need an Inspirational Girl Character, why don’t you watch a Shoujo or Yuri Genre??? Or Movies like Help, Kill Bill, Bridesmaids??? Why the hell come to Shonen, first of all??? Why especially Naruto???

The Answer is.... You know Naruto, the series is very Good.... You like it so much for it’s plot, emotions and world building.... It’s just that your Self-Insert does so many shitty things and you ended up blaming the Author for making her to be an Asshole without even knowing the reason why he made like that....

That leads to my another question.... Why do you need to self-insert (S.I) yourself in a Heroine knowing she is an Asshole??? Why not S.I yourself in other women Characters???

Oh!!! I know the reason.... Other women Characters don’t give you the pleasure of beating or kissing the Titular Character or obtaining the Uchiha Trophy and flaunt it proudly....

Anyways... Let me share the Real misogyny of GoT Fandom....

[[GOT spoilers ahead]]

I stayed in that god-awful fandom for almost 4 years.... We analyze, dissect, discuss all kinds of Theories based on the hints from the Books and as well as the TV series. I even wrote few lengthy Quora posts about my theories too...

It’s one of the best series with good representation of Women Characters.... Like you get Women in all flavours. Like A Bitch, A Badass, A Clever, A Resilient, A Prostitute, A Killer, A Mother, A Sister, A Fake Feminist, A Schemer, A Manipulator, A Warrior, A Maid.... and many more....

But amongst all of them, there is this particular character that was hyped up as the Heroine.... Oh, Sorry.... Not a Heroine.... She was a Goddess.... An Angel who came to save everyone.... A FEMINIST ICON... (LOLOLOL.... Laughing uncontrollably).... All men characters will eventually fall in love with her.... They pray her, They Obey her, they Treasure her.... like a Mary Sue...

All the dumb media portrayed that character as some fucking Feminist Icon when in reality she was not... She will act like a feminist only for those women who fawn over her.... If you are a woman and you oppose her, she would burn you. In other words, She is the most hypocritic character I’ve ever seen.

And that Character is

Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains.

The Picture is pretty badass, isn’t it???

Believe me.... She loves to pronounce this lengthy name...... To show her Power display.... [[Self-Proclaimed & Entitled Asshole]]

In other words.... A seemingly INSPIRATIONAL CHARACTER, these fake feminists wank for....

But We all knew one thing for sure.... Oh!!! We, here, I mean.... Only people with acute reading comprehension. We all predicted that this character was going to be the Big Bad of this series who could never be redeemed ... And when we write our theory.... People used to call us as misogynists. Because we hate such a popular woman character because we are some bitter losers... LOLOL

And this theory has been going on for many years even before me joining the fandom and I precisely joined the fandom to verify my views and I was pleasantly surprised to see many fans felt the same. I have to agree with the fact that she is a wonderfully written complex grey character who has her own Arc for many seasons.

And when the push comes to the shove...

This Angelic Goddess burned 1 million people ALIVE!!!!! All because of her fucking Ego.... The people were ready to pronounce her as Queen but still she went on to burn everyone.... Women and Children alike as you can see in this picture!!!!!

We all predicted that this would happen but still I had 2 sleepless nights over this extremely disturbing episode.... It was so horrible to process.

And after this episode, her stans who celebrated this Author started to call him as a Misogynist and the Reddit had a big meltdown over this episode.... Because they couldn’t accept their Kweeennnn burning innocent people and blamed it on bad writing and the Author.

Whereas there were so many other Good women Characters inside this story.... They failed to notice them because they never showed their Tits or give some Badass speech or being Flashy....

No.... Those women were classy, elegant, schemy and yet Kind and accomplished a lot of things without dragons in a much more dignified way. I have been supporting those women characters all those years and we were right.... And there were some women characters who clearly know they are an Evil Bitch and I love them equally nonetheless...

But this lunatic Dany stans started to slander other Women characters we liked (mostly women fans) because they got bitter that we were right.

And those stans reasoning were, “Dany was supposed to be the Heroine.... She should inspire us... Instead of that, the Author made me hate her.... He is a Misogynist because it shows women in a bad light.... ”

I was like, “You got inspired by some Mad Bitch and started to call her as the Heroine because she was flashy and bitchy while thoroughly ignoring Good Characters..... and when you didn’t get what you wanted... You ended up blaming other people... We knew this would happen for many years... “

Oh My God!!! This Sakura and Hinata wankers are just like Dany stans.... Blaming the Author because he wrote them to be an Asshole...

In my opinion, these idiot fans hide behind the Feminist blanket and spread misogyny (like sending Vulgar asks to me).... by completely ignoring and slandering good female characters. Talk about Hypocrisy... These people are just so good at it.

[[FYI, This Dany claimed that she was going to change the lives of Women and acted as a (fake) feminist throughout.... But she ended up burning all the Women in that city and claimed it as ‘necessary’... And her stans justify this behaviour....]]

God... Talking about this Character brought all the nightmare I had before. I shouldn’t have watched this episode for screenshotting it... It’s just terrorizing my brain.

Anyways, What I wanted to say was, Women are not always Angelic.... Women are not always Innocent.... Women are not always Pure and Good.... Women are capable of being a Tyrant... Women are capable of being a Bitch.... Women are capable of burning millions of innocent people....

Argument 3: None of the women characters had a Dream of their own... It was all revolving around a man

Oh Really???

Leave Sakura and Hinata.

Then what about this?????

“I feel that assigning a medical specialist as one of the four unit members would greatly increase both the mission success rate as well as the unit survival rate... Thus, I believe that the cultivating of Medic Ninja possessing advanced medical knowledge and the further development of medical ninjutsu.... The establishment of such a system ought to be our top priority!”

A Dick has nothing to do with Tsunade’s wonderful dream of introducing a medic ninja in every team.... This is called Changing a System which the world has never seen before. And this dream of hers has nothing to do with Dan, her romantic partner..... Because this fucking scene happened way before Dan came into her life.

Here Shizune is leading the Medical Team of other Villages as well...

Which means this system was widely implemented not only in Konoha but in all the 5 great villages.

Why nobody is noticing or acknowledging these??? Yeah, I know... Because they are not Sakura or Hinata...

Then Tsunade carried Dan’s dream of becoming an Hokage after Naruto’s insistence. Well, of course... Naruto is the hero and he has to change people’s lives...and he did it for Tsunade just like he saved Gaara, Obito and many... Where is misogyny in any of these??

If he can give a worthy dream to Tsunade, he could have did so much more for Sakura or Hinata. But he chose not to.

Argument 4: Girls watch Naruto.. Boys watch Naruto... If they see Sakura and Hinata being like this, what message that will project???? Do you have any idea how Boys will perceive us???

Boys will eventually expect women to be like Sakura or Hinata.

This proves you are so immature to write about anything!!!

[[Insert asshole, bitch in the above argument... because that ask was really vulgar]]

Whoever sent this shit must be an Asshole!!!! And a Fake Feminist at that!!!! And what’s more.... A stupid Online Social Justice Warrior who is only capable of harassing other women through their cell phones who don’t agree with their views....

Do you really know anything about me??? You don't... Have you ever stood up for another Girl even though you will be punished for that??? Have you ever helped a widow who was struggling in her life since her parents abandoned her because she chose a Boy whom they didn't agree with (In my patriarchal culture this abandoning daughters are common).... and on top of that, her husband died... So her life is literally done for. Have you helped such women in your life??? Have you ever yelled at another boy who was slut shaming another Girl???

I bet you never did any of these in your life... You self-centered asshole.

Don't talk as if I am just writing this blog for fun. I have my own side and I have been born and drenched in a Deeply Misogynistic Culture where if you wear a shorts, walk in your road... People will stare at you... Just like how those villagers stare at Naruto. They'll call you a characterless woman or basically a 'SLUT'.

In the Movies, That Fucking Male Actors who has more 2 times the fan following than the combined population of Entire Europe says this, "Man can go and fuck around 20 women.... He would be still respected and called as Man... But if Women hangs around with 5 boys, then she is called Slut... So behave yourself".....

"Beautiful Women are always Brainless... Brainy Women are always Ugly & Talks back"

"Women are Bitches and Gold diggers..."

And you know what.... These kind of disgusting dialogues get Unanimous cheers & applause from the Audience.... Because they want women to be like 'Hinata'.... That's how much my culture is deep rooted with misogyny.... So, Don't talk shit about me without knowing what I am and what I've faced.

First of all, Before venturing into Tumblr... I’ve been in Reddit Naruto community which is full of Dudebros. And the thing is, NO ONE GIVES 2 FLYING FUCKS ABOUT HINATA OR SAKURA.... Dudebros hate Sakura and they love to mock her.... They love Hinata for sure... because she has big boobs... In short, they don’t care about how women being portrayed in this Series... They just care about Power levels.

Second of all, The person who sent me this shit must be the person who believes “People become murderers because they watch Video Games with Violent content... Namely, PUBG”..... It’s pitiful that this person has an intelligence level of a Sloth and yet dare to send me an hate ask which screams their Buffoonery.

Third of all, If you clearly see the so-called “FATAL MISOGYNY”, Why the fuck you are watching Naruto in the first place??? Just drop it or go scream your rant in someplace where people agree with you... Why the hell creating a nuisance for people who enjoy it???? You clearly lack Tumblr Etiquette.

Argument 5: LoTR has Galadriel who was shown in a good light... And J.R.R.Tolkien portrayed women characters as A Goddess, A Warrior... And he wrote this in an era where women stayed as Housewives at home. Kishi’s portrayal of woman was so bad.

This anon sent me a decent ask... So, I am replying in that same tone.

Well, I was a once a crazy obsessed fangirl for LoTR series some years before. In my opinion, This is the Best Trilogy which was ever made in terms of everything... And I adore this... [[It’s also Kishimoto’s favourite trilogy ]]

But there is nothing to get inspired from Women Characters in this series. Except for Eowyn... Who slayed the Witch King of Angmar by saying, “I am no Man!!”...... [[It’s surprising that you didn’t mention this woman in your ask but you made sure to write about Galadriel who looks like an Angel]]

And That’s all!!!!

She ended up marrying Faramir....

Galadriel was a Goddess, Yes... But she never made a strong impact to the story except for Offering Moral support to the Fellowship and offering some Elvish Weapons.... She never fought on the field unlike Eowyn...

Arwen was just like a doll for the most part who had one great scene while saving Frodo from those Ringwraiths.... And she ended up marrying Aragorn.

And that’s all!!!

There is this Girl name Rosie Cotton who married Sam. She has no use to the story.

To me, Sakura did more in her Sasori fight than any of the women characters combined in the LoTR series... Unlike Tolkien, Kishimoto had plenty of women characters in Narutoverse.... And you could see Women like Tsunade, Mei were holding powerful position in this series unlike Arwen or Eowyn who ended up marrying a man as their destiny.

And it seems, you want women to be shown as Angels, anon.... This is what I talked about in my first argument... that “Women comes in all flavours... Not every women has to be angelic and pure and innocent.... Women can be scheming, conniving, manipulating.... At the same time they can be good, strong, kind..”

I seriously wonder, if Sakura and Hinata were portrayed as Rin Nohara... Then probably you wouldn’t have complained.... Which shows that you are biased against men... Meaning, A women should always be portrayed as angelic... and Men can be shown as monsters or villains...

Sorry, I don’t agree with this view for any media.... I prefer women to have flaws and weakness rather than A WOMEN WHO WAS DOLLED UP WEARING MAKE-UP WHICH PORTRAYS AN IDEAL ANGELIC & PERFECT WOMAN....

Argument: Kushina had a dream to become an Hokage but ended up being a Housewife making soup... In Boruto all the women characters were seen being a Housewife doing nothing....

First off, I don’t care about Boruto series. Every characters can rot for all I care... (Including N and S). It’s very evident that this Abomination exists purely to bring out New Gen Kids... It was not even Kishimoto’s intention to do this. Blaming him for Boruto is pointless.

Second off, Kushina claiming that she wanted become an Hokage was just on a whim... She was not even serious about it.

Since, it’s an established fact that Naruto’s father was an Hokage, there’s no way we could see Kushina becoming one. It’s just that she said she wanted to become an Hokage to impress her classmates in the Academy....

Fourth off, Kushina is a secondary side character. Her role in this story is to convey the flashback of what happened on the day Naruto was born and how she met Minato. Expecting a realistic dream from this character is just absurd.

But still...

Road to Ninja is a movie which was entirely written by Kishimoto. He was the person who conceptualized every characters and served as the story writer unlike for the Last Movie, where he never made any reasonable contribution to the story.

And this is his ideal version of Kushina. Who goes on mission with her Husband.

An Husband who shares equal responsibility with his wife... That anon was claiming Kushina was just making soup in the Manga... Well, in the above scene Minato was the one making soup and doing Dishes....

There is no way, an author could be misogynist if he portrays an Husband and wife dynamics like this. Yes, this is not Canon.... But this movie is his work... And his reflection of a woman is NOT AT ALL BAD.

How is this Misogyny in any way???

I agree, in his Manga he couldn’t replicate the same dynamics for MinaKushi... BECAUSE MINATO WAS AN HOKAGE... whereas in this movie he is not... Of course, When A Husband holds a position of Power, A Wife has to take care of his family and Viceversa. And I don’t see anything wrong with Kushina being a Housewife for her Hokage husband.

This claim looks like, people simply wants to find fault for the sake of finding fault without considering any of these.

Argument 7: Saori is not that great of a character either

[[this was from a hate ask]]

I don’t want to talk to a person who is unable to recognize between a Decent Women character like Saori who was developed in just 52 pages and a women Character with no mental development in all the 700 Chapters.

You are one kind of a delusional asshole... Maybe a Sakura or Hinata wanker... And I have no obligation to explain to you.

Argument 8: Popular Media inspires next Generation and motivates them to write story in the same way... Harry Potter inspired many writers to write Fantasy... If Kishimoto portrays Sakura and Hinata in this way.... It will inspire more people to write woman characters like he did and we will never get any good female characters...

That’s why Fanfic writers write their stories like this... But that’s how they earn money by writing bad female characters...

Oh really???

Since when did people became so responsible enough to start worrying about future, in Naruto Fandom??? These claims are like some ‘Fear Politics’ where politicians rule the crowd with some dystopian fear...

Anyways...

Kishimoto got influenced by Akira Toriyama to become a Mangaka..... Akira was the Artist behind Dragon Ball... I’ve never watched Dragon Ball but my friend said Dragon ball is nothing like Naruto....

BnHA was inspired by Naruto.... I never watched that series either... But Uraraka is nothing like Sakura or Hinata. Neither does Midoriya and Bakugo....

JJK looks similar to Naruto in many ways..... But Nobara don’t even compares to Sakura in any way.... She is absolutely another level...

What the hell???? This is just some dumb claim....

People get inspired from some popular media but they will always have their own flavours and style. No one would exactly copy Kishimoto. Even by your logic, Harry Potter inspired many Fantasy writers... But I don’t remember any of them becoming popular... You know why???? They just copied Rowling.

I don’t care how Fanfic writers portray women characters in their story since I don’t have much time or energy to read them... But I’ve read 4 Yaoi novels written by CHINESE WOMEN WRITERS..... All of them follow the same pattern as Naruto...

And You are telling me that those Chinese ladies got inspired by a Shonen Manga Artist from Japan.....???? And you are telling me that they have all the time to pick up the Homo Erotic Subtexts from a Shonen Manga of 700 chapters and write some Yaoi Story inspired by Naruto????

Then what about the Yaoi Novel that was released in 2008??? Did that Author time travelled to 2014 and saw N and S being Gay... And then travelled back to their time and wrote their Novel????

Just in case you don't know... There is this Popular female Chinese Novelist who goes under the Pen Name called Priest... [Wiki Link]

She writes Yaoi/BL Genre and Women centric Novels as well... While her BL Genre novels were all very unique & entertaining and follows the same pattern as Naruto but her Women Centric Novels were all DIFFERENT LEVEL... It was always the Girl who holds the entire series... Everything revolves around her and they are complicated, layered and it was so fun to read or watch. Her works are even adapted into TV series...

But somehow, Priest.... An experienced women Novelist who 'supposedly' follows Kishimoto (A delusional claim!!!) and don't know anything about how to write Women characters because she got inspired by Yaoi writers... But you know how to write them??? If so, Kindly share your Fan Fiction... Then I'll judge you and your capability of writing a layered and realistic women characters.

Talk about some Hilarious Delusion.... This claim is the best example for it....

At the end of the day, People who send me... Sorry.... Who send Hate Ask to Anyone are just some spineless cowards hiding under some ugly blanket... I wonder, Why don't you come out under your real blog name???

ON WHAT OCCASIONS I WOULD'VE DEEMED KISHIMOTO AS A MISOGYNIST???

FAVOURING 'CERTAIN' TYPE OF WOMEN:

I would deem anyone as misogynist if they glorify 'Hinata' type of women but putting down other women. Because Hinata feeds the Male Ego, narcissism, She has 'Prospects', She never questions or give opinions which is what most men want from their partner, they want her to be a Housemaid for Free who could give him Healthy Children and would be ready to open her legs whenever he wishes.

If only Kishimoto favoured Hinata but mocked Sakura..... Then I would be the first person to jump into this Misogyny Train.

Because it clearly shows what kind of women he want for himself and suggest his readers.

BUT HE DIDN'T....

He ended up trolling Hinata indefinitely just as much as he did for Sakura.

Which means he doesn't like those 'Typical Waifu' or 'Fan Girl' or ‘Damsel in Distress’ kind of women.

WHICH IS TOTALLY OK....

Those kind of 'Typical Waifu' should be mercilessly trolled in any media because for the past 2, 3 decades.... These kind of women were idealized and stereotyped which ultimately serves Male Superiority. And these kind of ‘Typical Waifu’ women also developed a deep internalized misogyny by slandering independent women as sluts.... No Thank You.....

Let Sakura and Hinata be trolled endlessly... I am not sorry...

FRIDGING FEMALE CHARACTERS:

"Fridging is the super sexist, super misogynistic thing that we've noticed some of our favourite television shows and movies doing recently. It's basically when the lead female character is killed in order for the plot to move forward."

I've seen this trope in popular movies like Dark Knight, Dead Pool 2 and many other movies....

It's always a woman.... A fucking woman. She has to die for every fucking thing. Somehow, she can't live and prove her worth... Only her death would give the necessary resolve for the Male character to keep going and then he will end up marrying another woman.

If Kishimoto used this trope extensively... I would've called him as Soft Misogynist...

Yes, Rin's death motivated Obito.... I agree....

But it was Jiraiya's death that motivated Naruto.....

It was Itachi's death that motivated Sasuke....

It was Yahiko's death that pushed Konan & Nagato into that path...

It was Neji's death that pushed Naruto to marry that rat. [[This is something Unforgivable]]

It was Dan's death that pushed Tsunade to live Gambling and wandering.

So, Kishimoto Fridged more male characters than he did for Female Characters.... Can I call him a Misandrist, then???

NOT MAKING THIS INTO A GAY MEDIA:

I’ll write about this in detail in another post...

If only Naruto series is not Gay... I would've deemed Kishimoto as a Misogynist. DEFINITELY. Because there is no reason for him to give little space or significance to women characters in a 700 chapter series unless it’s not a Gay media.

Haku & Zabuza are the plot device to parallel N and S relationship... Like a Preview to show the nature of the feelings between N and S. H & Z are Gay.

Hashirama & Madara are another plot device to parallel a failed N and S relationship.... To show.... What went wrong between them.... How can N and S make it right!!!???. H and M are Gay.

And the entire plot was about N and S skirting away from the feelings they had for each other.... A Media having Side Characters being portrayed as Gay is nothing special.... But Main Characters being Gay is definitely commendable and praiseworthy.

Where can we put women among them???? THERE’S LITERALLY NO SPACE.

Gay Media can’t have strong women characters... That’s all. Because the Main Character's life revolves around another male character... Please go and watch Broke Back Mountain, The Untamed (TV series), Word of Honour (TV series written by Priest , as I mentioned above).... Whereas go and watch Legend of Fei (Another Female oriented TV series written by Priest)... And Notice the difference.

WROTE WOMEN CHARACTERS TO BE STRONG IN THE BEGINNING AND THEN REDUCED TO WET MOP AFTER HER MARRIAGE:

This shit!!!!

It happens all the time.... 😑😑

In most of the K-Dramas, they show a girl to be strong, intelligent and thoughtful in the beginning. She was so pleasant to watch, you know... Until she's not. The moment she met the Male Lead, that's when she becomes this idiot, docile and a door mat to her guy. And she becomes this 'Cry Baby' whose only job is to cry for her man to the point of annoying the viewers immensely....

This is the stupid trope which promotes the view that 'Women can do whatever they want when she was single... But after marriage, it should be all about her Husband... A Man has to be her priority all the time. She can't pursue her dreams... "

If Sakura and Hinata were some strong and opinionated women in the beginning and then they got reduced to N and S wives living as a Housewife, then I would've deemed him the Ultra Misogynist.

HE CREATED A GOOD CHARACTER IN PLACE OF SAKURA AND TORMENTED HER BY PUTTING IN TEAM 7:

Seriously.... Imagine a strong woman character in that team. And she was being ignored by both of her team mates... I mean, yeah... They care about her as a team mate and saved her ass many times. But N and S would never include Sakura among their discussions or their arguments. If any girl wants to find a family in Team 7, then that will never happen. Because Team 7 was all about Naruto and Sasuke.

That’s why, I simply can’t imagine a strong woman like Tsunade in that Team getting excluded time and time again.

Simply Put.... I don’t want to feel bad for a Strong girl who had lots of potential to grow up into a great person but ended up being a mere Gay Shield for 2 boys. I felt so bad for Alma who was just used as a Beard for the Main Character from Broke Back Mountain but Not for Sakura in Naruto.

SEXUALIZATION OF YOUNG FEMALE CHARACTERS:

This!!!

This shit must be stopped.

It was always a woman/girl who was dolled up like some slut... revealing her Over flowing boobs to attract Male Gaze and to feed their sexual fantasy. Something like this....

Geez, Despite Catwoman, being a Main Character, this picture screams... “Come and do me as much as you want”... If only Kishimoto did this for Hinata or Sakura, I would have deemed him a filtered misogynist.

And this is the only time Kishimoto focused her ‘Prospects’ in the entire manga. It’s not at all awkward or vulgar...

I know Tsunade was sexualized but I heard that this is something common in every manga and also she is old (in her 50′s)... None of the characters inside the Narutoverse objectified her except for Jiraiya and Bee (they are known to be perverted... So, there’s that). I think this is okay.

Whereas he literally whored off ‘certain’ character and that character has a different Characterization in a ‘certain’ fandom...

Lo and behold

This is Uchiha Sasuke... The Dominating Daddy and Christian Grey of SS Fandom. Because the Author literally drew him to attract Female Gaze and feed their sexual fantasy.

Just like how every time Angelina Jolie’s dress gets removed bit by bit after a Fight.... Here Sasuke’s dress gets removed after every battle...

Instead of sexualizing a female character to appease the Male audience, (Just like those countless other U.S Comics authors does in their poster), The Author of Naruto sexualized his Main Male character and made him into a sex toy of SS fandom. Just like how SP made Hinata into a sex toy for those Dudebros.

I’ll leave it at here.

WOMEN NOT HOLDING ANY POWERFUL POSITIONS

People are thoroughly underestimating this aspect. Political Equality for women is necessary, even in real life. I strongly advocate for this idea.

And when I saw Tsunade became the Hokage (Konoha being the Foundation of this series...) who was holding this position for almost 80% of the series, I felt pleasantly surprised and was happy. And also she did an excellent Job at it.

If only there were no women holding any Kage Position and was simply reduced to being just some ordinary Ninjas.... I would’ve considered the Author as a Misogynist.

To conclude my rant,

I agree women characters in this series are pretty much Lacklustre except for a few. I am not denying it. But considering the Genre and the way Kishimoto used Parallel Story telling (Which I’ll talk about it in detail in my next post), I just don’t care about not having many more interesting women Characters.

Because when you design a Story to revolve around 2 Male characters and if they love each other.... Provided that they are Orphans.... There is no use in having a Strong Women Character in this kind of story. Because, What purpose does she serve to the story if she is not relevant to the Main Characters????

Either that Girl must be the Love Interest for one of the Boys... OR those boys must have some female siblings who could have some impact on their Brother... Or those boys must have some platonic Female friends who has some influence on these boys.... But Being a Gay and an Orphan knocks off every possibility of a Woman having any relevance in their life.

Like I mentioned above, there are many blatant and obvious misogynist tropes in Movies and TV series as I listed above.... You might find atleast 1 trope from any popular movies or TV series... Atleast 1.... And it always repulses me... In Naruto, I didn’t find any of those.

And also in 99% of the media, the ‘Femme Fatale’ role would always be played by the Female... as the name suggests. Like she has to be the seductress who seduces men sexually and get what she wants... [[Girls from James Bond Movies, Angelina Jolie from Mr & Mrs.Smith, Scarlett Johansson from Avengers Part 1 [[Plz don’t tell me she had any role in that movie]].... Whereas in Naruto, that role has been given to the Main Male Character called Sasuke... Excuse me???

The most sexist or misogynist shit I’ve ever seen was 50 shades of Grey and Twilight (aaaand they were written by women at that) and lots of Local Movies from my country.... (They are not even worth 10 cents.... It’s so cringy).... Compared to these... Kishimoto is Nothing...

Misogyny is a vague topic... Each people have their own views and interpretations. Yes, the Author may look like a Misogynist if you only look at the characters like Hinata and Sakura. Whereas I tried to look and analyze his other female characters like Kushina, Konan, Saori, Temari, Tsunade.... I know they are not deeply written... But atleast they have personalities, motivation, a strong conviction and In short.... They are solid. Tsunade was well-written as compared to Jiraiya who had no dreams.

They really have so much potential to be developed into some Great Characters... But at the end of the Day, this story was written to be revolved around Naruto & Sasuke and those decent women Characters were forced to have no dedicated narrative time just like many other male characters...

The Lack of Main Female Characters makes us feel like there’s no Female presence in this story... But considering the Genre is Gay which portrays the love story about people in minorities, it’s okay and I don’t mind.

Gay Love story in a popular Shonen is in and of itself is a rebellious concept and I welcome it... I don’t want to ruin my enjoyment by complaining about something where there is no scope for it...

I’ve watched Kishimoto’s other works like Road to Ninja and Mario.... I find the women Characters in those media to be really good... Plus, some of the Side Characters had accomplished a lot more than what Sakura and Hinata did for 700 chapters... All of these shows that, he could write Good Female Characters... And that’s why I felt he was kind of an in-between... Neither a Feminist nor a Misogynist....

#kishimoto #antisakura #anti sakura #anti hinata #antihinata

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siriusmydeer · 4 years ago

Note

Oh and Hello to you today you fine and brilliantly skilled author who I have came to love and adore, you see I know I’d already recently requested something from you but I had a taste of your absolutely amazingly fine talent and just had to come back for more

Ya see, this person here (hem hem, me) would like to ask if she could request something dealing with Young Remus Lupin Remmy Boi being a sweet older brother during the summer to his adoptive sister who is almost his age and very gay and him letting her hang out with him and the Mauraders because her friends were douchbags and skippy skip to Remus letting her rant about it while they sit in his bed, her head in his lap while she’s curled up in a ball and he’s half-heartedly reading while talking to her about her douche-bag friends before he cuddles his sis to his chest and lets her sleep in his bed that night

Anywho, sorry for annoyin you again but I’ve had a shit day and wanted to relax with one of my fav authors and a cuppa tea

baby i was so excited to write this, my internal message to homophobes lies within this one shot. y/n’s vent gave me very “gia ranting her her friends about being bi and it should be nobodies business”

my little sister

brother!remus lupin x fem!reader, girlfriend!marlene mckinnon x fem!reader

warnings: homophobia, mentions of slurs, mentions of conversion camp, angst? but not rly, fluffy remus, WOLFSTAR💋, swearing, jokingly mentions of murder, big brother energy from remus, um mentions of penises and masterbating😭, lowkey ravenclaw slander (ONLY MALES I PROMISE) and y/n being a baddie

word count: 1.3k

you were.... happy. yes, not in a sarcastic way. you had finally found a girl that didn’t just want to be your friend, or hate crime you. you found a girl that you wanted to kiss, a girl you wanted to love and girl that reciprocated that love. but unfortunately for you, your love choices had consequences and everyone else thought it was there business, commenting on it.

“𝗼𝗶, 𝗹𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗻! 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗵𝗲’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝘆𝗲𝘁?”

“𝗰’𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗻, 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗲𝘁?”

“𝗶 𝗯𝗲𝘁 𝘆/𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿. 𝗶 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗲’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹.”

“𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝗲, 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁? 𝗶 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗶’𝗺 ��𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.”

so to society, you weren’t normal. the worst part was you weren’t always the one hearing it, the girls in your dorm heard it, your brother heard about it and his best friends also happen to hear about it. that also never happened to stop them from shooting a hex or 20 in someone’s direction but, nonetheless, you “weren’t normal.”

you were sitting in the library studying next to your gorgeous girlfriend, marlene mckinnon. oh did something as innocent as studying get flipped into so much more, both of you working on mcgonagalls transfiguration homework. all fine and well until the 7th year ravenclaws decided to crawl up your butt and die.

“i see you two haven’t been sent away yet.”

“aw well if it isn’t the two girls who think they’re in love.”

“the two fa-“

one of the boys didn’t even get to finish his sentence before your wand was pinned against his neck, and suddenly he was speechless.

“‘m gonna say this as delicately as possible to spare your shit feelings but, before you finish your very derogatory sentence i would love for you to reconsider your words.” you started, “i personally think it’s hilarious that you gits are so bothered by whomst m’intimate with.”

“for being known as the smart house, you 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 are so bloody stupid. i could rip out my own brain and give it to you and it still wouldn’t be enough for you to learn how to mind your damn business.” you said firmly, “your 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝗸 has sunken into the air, so me and my girlfriend are going to get going.”

you took your wand away from his neck before the 3 boys scrambled to the other side of the library, in fear. you gathered both you, and marlene’s things before slinging your bags over your shoulder and walking out of the library. before you could turn the corner, her other arm gripped your arm putting you both to a halt.

you turned towards her beet red face, and eyes shining in adoration. “dude, i think that was the hottest thing you have ever done.” she said before pulling you into a lip lock outside of the library. would you have been very nervous in any other situation?absolutely. i mean you were kissing a female, in public, at school, in 1975. but in this moment you couldn’t care less about anything or anyone, just the beautiful girl that you were besotted with kissing you right now.

“good.” you giggled as you pulled away before pulling her arm in the direction of one of the hidden corridors.

the next time you found yourself diminished over your sexuality, you went to people who you genuinely felt safe and comfortable with. you burst through the marauders dorm, forgetting to knock but quickly covering your eyes.

“i really hope none of you are masterbating right now, because i’m sure as not in the mood to see a penis.”

“c’mon mini-moony, you’re literally never in the mood to see a penis.” sirius replied, you uncovered your eyes and saw sirius walk over to remus’ bed and put his head on remus’ shoulder, and a light blush covered both of there faces. james on the other hand was on the floor writing lily, one of the only other people who supported you, another love letter.

“ok so let me start, sirius and remus please splash some cold water on your face. james, get off your arse and actually be a normal person and try and have a normal conversation with lily because i assure you she doesn’t even read those letters. and the grand finale, if i get called 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 one more damn time necks will be broken and body parts and fluids will scatter on the floor.” you huffed, and sat at end of remus’ bed nonchalantly.

at the part of your mini-monologue where you mentioned being called a slur, james and sirius happened to jump from where they were, surrounding you with questions. “who called you that?!” “i need names, now, mini-moony.” meanwhile remus aggressively grabbed his wand and made a bee-line to the door. “OI! BROTHER OF MINE.” remus stopped at the sound of your voice and turned around, his grip on the wand leaving his knuckles a shade of white. “sit. now.” he scoffed before sitting on the bed staring straight at you.

you debated for a moment, before looking at remus. “lucius malfoy and his toerag puppy dog, evan rosier.” you shrugged before all of them made a run at the door, messily grabbing their wands stomping down the stairs leading to the common room.

as fifth year came to an end, summer eventually came to a start. as you were unpacking your trunk and putting your clothes in there rightful spots in your dresser before you heard a knock at the door. “come in!”

remus opened the door, leaning against the frame. “hey, you okay?” he knew it was a stupid question to ask, but ever since you came into his family he felt a sense of protectiveness over you. he would always look at you like a little girl who needed her laces double knotted because she would trip on them, and how she needed to climb on furniture to grab something and especially when his little sister wasn’t his little sister anymore and became and illegal animagus for him.

“having your picture with nice little names on them, i’m brilliant.” you said sarcastically before sitting on your bed and remus following your lead. he leaned his back against the headboard as you threw your head on his lap, curling yourself to make yourself as tiny as possible. “i mean why the hell does anyone care anyways? it’s not like i’m intervening in there lives, i’m not killing anyone? it works the exact same except it’s a girl and not a boy. i just don’t understand why everyone thinks they should have an opinion on something that isn’t there business to start with.” you vented as he rubbed your back, while reading. “i mean, i understand.” you looked at him with a raised brow, “sirius?” he sheepishly looked up from his book and nodded before looking down at his book again and blushing.

“please, i could spot that from a mile away. i mean you aren’t exactly subtle, at the mere touch you both look like you got out of a sauna.” you said, matter of fact like and pointing your finger in the air sassily, “at least lily and james don’t care.” he mumbled trying to make you and him feel better. “everyone shouldn’t care, but then again everyone else in this universe is also a pest.” you sighed, as he continued reading but not before speaking.

“people are stupid.”

“you’re right, people are stupid.”

“but you know what makes us feel better?”

“what?”

“chocolate.”

“wow remus, it’s almost like i had no idea.”

“well i’m always right, so suck it up and take it.” he said shoving a chocolate bar in your face.

“i mean you could always have a sleepover with me where we eat chocolate and laugh at bad movies?” he said before looking down at you.

“remus, first yes, second how the hell does sirius put up with your ‘know-it-all-ness’?” you looked at him smirking, clearly he didn’t like that and he closed his book smacking it against your head.

“𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝘂𝘀!”

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lovely-keii · 3 years ago

Note

hi!! congrats on 1k, well-deserved <3

may i join your event if slots are still available? i'd love to take part in the trope one w kageyama + friends to lovers to enemies to lovers (KSJDHFDSJ bc like lowkey hurts but one of my fav ever tropes)

Undeserved Attention

Kageyama Tobio x Reader

Summary: Lingering feelings are adaptable pests, because in every situation, you find yourself wondering about what in the world Kageyama Tobio’s up to this time.

“D’ya think that maybe, just maybe, you’re being a bit too harsh on him?” You roll your eyes, “he pushed me into a fountain, Shoyo. You really think I’m being too harsh on him?” Hinata sighs, and shakes his head. You felt bad for the guy, you did. Having to be the middle ground between you and Kageyama probably wasn’t easy on him either, having to constantly figuratively and literally run back and forth from two of his close friends.

“How about you tell me how this all happened, then?” You deadpan at him, “we were friends, then we dated, and then he went all psycho, so of course, we broke up. End of story.”

“That’s not all of it.”

“That’s the gist of it.”

“Well, I can’t make my own judgment on the situation if I don’t know exactly what went on between you two.”

“You don’t need to know.”

“You’re awesome and all, Y/N, but you don’t actually expect me to know what to do when you and Kageyama are telling me the complete opposite things.”

“What did that prick say about me, Shoyo?” Hinata cusses, and internally kicks himself for even mentioning Kageyama in front of you. Rule #1; talk about Tobio all you want, but never mention him in front of Y/N. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.

“I promise it’s not as bad as the things you’ve said about him.” You laugh at Hinata’s frustrated retort, and pull your bag on the table to pull out some books you need. And as you open your bag, Kageyama walks past, the buckle of his back making contact with yours, effectively spilling the contents of your bag, and the bag itself over the edge of your table.

“What’s wrong with you, Kageyama?” He snaps his head to the mess on the ground. “It was an accident.” You scoff. “Like when you pushed me into the fountain?” He groans at your reply, “for your information, that was an accident. And stop putting it into every conversation you have. It wasn’t even that big of a deal.”

Your teacher clears her throat. “It’s 7am and we’re just about to discuss some lessons for the upcoming test, hardly the time to be arguing, don’t you think?” You nod and apologize. She shakes her head in disappointment, “Hinata, why don’t you help out Y/N, and Kageyama, please just go back to your seat before you cause any further disruption.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

...

“Did you see that asshole, Shoyo?!” You whisper-shout, the teacher too engrossed in some equation to pay your conversation any mind. “I don’t know, Y/N. It did look like an accident.” You stare at him, and he shrugs. “There’s no way he just keeps messing with me all by accident, Sho.”

“I only actually know about the fountain incident, because that’s all you’ll tell me, Y/N. Maybe if you started talking...?” You shake your head and turn your attention back to the board. You had no idea what your teacher was saying, but what you were sure of was that Kageyama was an asshole.

Your eyes travel over to Kageyama, who had the slightest frown on his face. Undoubtedly not listening to the teacher, although you weren’t exactly listening either. You sigh, observing the way Kageyama stretches his legs subtly, and his arms are folded over his book that hasn’t even been opened yet.

“You know, Y/N, if you keep looking at him like that, it’s not that convincing when you say you hate him.” You snap your attention to Hinata, who had a smirk on his face. “Looking at him like what?” Hinata shrugs. “Like you wanna kiss him.” You gape and stumble on your words. “You’re delusional.”

Hinata laughs, humming so inconspicuously you’d think he hadn’t just been accusing you of wanting to kiss the same guy you’ve deemed intolerable for years. “I hate the guy, Hinata.” He nods. “Sure.” You narrow your eyes at his vague response. Hinata doesn’t respond and you take it, the conversation is finished.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Hey, Y/N.” you still as you recognize the voice. Where is Hinata when you need him? “Kageyama.” He sighs at the hostility of your tone. “Me pushing your bag really was an accident. My bag hit yours and you know what went on from there.” You hesitate at the sincerity of his words. “Yeah, okay. Sorry for blowing up on you.”

He nods and walks off, and you can’t help but stare. This was one of the moments where you kind of doubted that he was the same guy that publicly humiliated you back in first year. And frankly, you would be lying if you said that it didn’t make your heart skip a few beats in joy.

...

“Do you think we’ll stay like this forever, Tobio?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I mean, we’ll still be in love and happy, but it won’t be the same.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll marry you in the future, promise.” You look at him and his eyes shine with only the purity of love. And a smile graces your face as realization dawns upon you, he means it.

...

Jokes on you, Kageyama. You were the one that broke your promise, because we sure as hell aren’t in love right now.

“What were you two talking about? Are you two all chummy again? Should I know something?” You jump back to reality at Hinata’s ever flowing questions. You roll your eyes at his excitement. “Well, you’re late. Thanks for nothing, I guess.” He laughs. “If you were looking for me, you’d notice that I was 2 lockers away from the both of you.”

“Were you eavesdropping?”

“With all this noise, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” You shake your head and Hinata quickly gets back to pestering you. “It’s nothing, really. He just apologized. That’s it.” And a part of you wished that that wasn’t just it, hoping that maybe he’d said more, explained more.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“For a guy you hate, you sure are paying him a lot of attention, Y/N.” Hinata and you walk home together, sharing a common route home. The perks of having a close neighbor as your friend.

“I am not, Hinata. Just hurry and walk.” Like a liar, you deny his accusations, as if you weren’t just staring at Kageyama who was fiddling with his pencil. “Just admit it, you still kinda like the guy.” You glare at Hinata, but make no move to deny the statement. Hinata takes that as a cue to go on. “Y/N, you say a whole lot about hating him, but for someone who hates him, you sure do pay attention to him. I mean, I’m his best friend and I didn’t even know that he flicks his wrist a bit when throwing things in the trash. Or the way he bites the inside of his cheek when he’s mad. Or maybe the way he pulls the sides of his shirt when he’s-”

“Okay-, point taken, Hinata! He’s just attention grabbing, is all.” Hinata shakes his head a ‘no’ and smirks at you. “That’s not it, Y/N, admit it! You like him.”

“Like who?” You stiffen up and refuse to turn around. “Hey, Kageyama! Do you think Y/N looks nice today?” Since when did Kageyama walk this route? “Yeah, she looks nice. Hinata, are we still going to study in your house?” “Yeah, since we’re all going the same way, why don’t you walk with us?” Oh my god, Hinata knew about this. That little snake. “Y/N, are you okay with me walking with you two?”

“Do as you please.” You walk a tiny bit faster, hoping to give a safe distance between the two of you. However, as your luck would have it, Hinata seemed to be enjoying messing with you. Hinata takes longer strides, matching your pace, prompting Kageyama to do the same. Oh, when you two were alone, he’s getting it.

...

“Hinata you planned this!”

“Just endure for a month, Y/N! You act as if you don’t like the guy.”

“I don’t like him and-, a whole month?!”

“Hey, I just got back, should I walk with you guys again.” Is he serious? Hinata, please say no. “Yeah!” Damn it. You three walk in silence, Hinata slowly inching away from between the two of you. Before you know it, Hinata is about a meter away from the both of you and you can almost hear Kageyama’s steady breathing from beside you.

“I forgot my water bottle in the gym, why don’t you two go ahead?” Without hearing your response, Hinata dashes away, sending you a cheeky wink. That liar, he always keeps his bottle in his bag. Kageyama clears his throat awkwardly, resuming his pace slowly. You start walking, refusing to speak.

“How have you been?”

“Nice.”

“That’s good to hear.”

You don’t respond, choosing to set your eyes on the pavement. “Do you still have the pen I gave you?” You falter in your step for a second before composing yourself. “No.” Again, that was a lie. You kept the pen on your desk, next to your computer, twirling it around your fingers every time you felt lonely, or on those days when you miss him. Not of course, your only option right now was to lie.

“Oh.”

“Were you going to ask for it back?” You ask the question hesitantly, keeping your guards up but letting curiosity get the better of you. “No. just wanted to know if you still had it.”

You nod and the rest of the walk is silent. He goes to Hinata’s house and the both of you are greeted by Hinata’s mom, and you walk to your place, a small distance away. Once you get in your room, you find yourself staring at the pen. To be frank, the pen was in pristine conditions. Not a single scratch and the pen’s ink was still half-full.

You take a seat on your bed and sigh. Why’d you lie? It’s not like Kageyama said anything in particular about it.

...

That’s how it went, Hinata makes up some bullshit excuse about why he’ll walk home a but later, and you and Kageyama get a few words in.

“Hey, Kageyama?”

“Remember a few weeks ago when you asked if I still had the pen?”

“Yeah?”

“I lied. I still have it.”

And if Kageyama was curious as to why you lied, he didn’t show. Instead, he smiled, a big grin, and it was enough to make you unequivocally happy, too.

Then it finally hit you. Hinata was right, you did like the guy.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You stay away from him, refusing to let yourself love him. Not because you feared he didn’t feel the same. No, his smile from that day told you all that needed to be said. You were avoiding him because he hurt you. Loving him didn’t mean you forgave him. What he did to you was horrible and you need to stick by that.

You walk by yourself and Kageyama waves at you, you nod curtly and at the corner of your eye you can see him tilt his head in confusion by a tiny margin. You let yourself wonder if he cared that you were ignoring him, but that doesn’t last for long. The intrusive thoughts swallow any conscience you had for the guy and remind you of your situation. Don’t give him the attention he doesn’t deserve, Y/N.

By now it’s just you in an empty hall, most students gathered in the larger hallway. You stop for a second and you feel an arm gently make contact with your shoulder. You jump back on impulse, turning around. Kageyama.

“Why are you ignoring me?”

“I am not.”

“There you go again, Y/N! Avoiding things!”

“Excuse me?”

“You always avoid me, you think I don’t notice?”

“Sure, I am avoiding you. But I have a good reason to.”

“Y/N, are you serious?”

“You pushed me into the fountain back in first year.”

“It was an accident.”

“Fine, even if the whole fountain thing was an accident-”

“It is!”

“Fine! Then why’d you ignore me?”

“I was just busy. There’s nothing more to it.”

“I don’t want your excuses, okay?! All I want is closure. I just want you to explain why the hell you stopped loving me. Because even though we were young, Tobio, I really thought you were endgame for me. Isn’t that stupid?”

“It’s not-, it isn’t stupid, Y/N. It’s just-,” he pauses, struggling to get a grasp of his words, “there’s nothing to explain.”

You scoff, frankly really fucking bewildered at his response. “Tobio, you stopped talking to me, you didn’t even break up with me before that. How’d you think I felt?! That was 3 years down the drain, Tobio. One day, we were going out together for ice cream and the next, you wouldn’t even look me in the eye.”

“I was scared.”

“Of what?”

He looks at you, and reluctantly, the words come out of his mouth. “I was scared of loving you.”

You look at him, confused and a wreck, struggling to place the pieces together. “What?”

“We were dating, and everything was okay. Then suddenly, everything else in my life fell apart. My team, volleyball, my friends, it was just you, Y/N. You were the only thing left and I didn’t want you to be. Because if you left me, I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t think I’d come out of it okay.”

“I wasn’t going to leave, ever. I was so in love with you, you know?”

“I know that now, Y/N. And if I could stop myself from ruining everything we had, I would.”

“Really?”

“Promise.”

Kageyama stands in front of you, the same soft smile from years ago gracing his face, and you remember, this is how you fell in love. The soft nights alone, and the reassurance of love for a lifetime to come. Loving him was the sweetest thing in the world; not falling out of love no matter what happens, because you’re too far deep in each other’s lives.

“I love you, Y/N.” And you look at Kageyama who rubs his neck bashfully, and out of pure adrenaline or the blossoming warmth erupting in your chest, you press your lips to his. “I really fucking love you too, Kageyama.” This time he’s the one to kiss you and you laugh.

“Are we okay now?”

“We’re okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Tobio. I am.”

And you had no idea what the hell he was thinking, but that didn’t matter. Because he said he loves you, and you trust him.

1K EVENT

#☾.viv’s 1k event #☾.viv’s tropes #♡ haikyuutothetop + viv ♡#kageyama x reader

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royalelo · 4 months ago

Text

tank tyou for the b thag tag🫸🫷

My fav song of all time: Uhhhhmmkkkdj uhhh uhhhh idk i like music.. I think a song im always happy to sing along to is dark red by steve lacy

childhood pests no pets childhood pers: two hamsters one was named chip and he was FAT and the other was dale and he was a TWIG and um my mum poisoned them and uh also there was a gaping hole inside of dale

hobby: Drawingg and i like playing gamess and i like cosplayinggg and skateboardingg and singinggg and umm umm i like coding and yeah and oh and clay i liek making clay stuff

comfort show movie or book: Ummmm ow my phone started tweaking out i hit it and now my hand hurtd umm hunter x hunter probably its really nostalgic i also like reading jjba part 7 because i like it

on tumblr since: a mintie usho ago (LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER) idk @unebagguette prolly nknwoows.

Fun fact about mysefld: ive done weed three times (all with supervisoon 🫢!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

taggers... : @unebagguette @p2ii @marcop0los @mrmillipede @mockingbird-9-0-1 or orher if YOU wanna join do it pussy

tag game!

i love these things so I want to make my own

All time favorite song: it changes constantly, but rn I think "The Devil doesn't bargain" by Alec Benjamin

Childhood pet: a black cat, her name was Schnurri

Hobby: writing and unicycling

Comfort show/movie/book: six of crows

On tumblr since: this year... february I think?

Fun fact about yourself: i doodle on all my books and papers for school

Some tags:

@thisusedtobeafanpage @iamthejam @nailpolishdrinker @emo-mohawk-boy @elegantvoidss @flowers-jn-her-hair @inthecornerstone

#tag game #tagging

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lavenderboneswrites · 3 years ago

Note

it’s me, kitty 🥺

👉🏻👈🏻 Shizuo and Izaya having a self care day?

they try face masks, watch movies, do their nails, eat junk food, anything that comes to your mind 🥰

Maybe they even have a bubble bath together 👀👀

I LOVE YOU BB YOURE THE BEST 💖💖💖💖💘💘💘🥰🥰🥰

Of course my beloved got her request in first <3 <3 I hope you enjoy it bb, I tried to fit as much as your fav tropes in as I possibly could. Thank you for always supporting me and letting me share my ideas with you <3 <3

I Feel it Coming

Words: 5352

Rating: Explicit

Tags: smut and fluff, shizaya, established relationship, self-care day, possessive Shizuo, light dom/sub (please check AO3 for a comprehensive list of tags)

AO3

When Shizuo gets home Izaya is nowhere to be seen.

It’s been a long day of chasing down debts and deadbeats. Shizuo sighs as he toes off his shoes at the entrance and loosens the clip on bowtie. Making a trail up the stairs and to his bedroom, Shizuo pulls off his vest off along the way. He takes care to hang it gingerly on the hanger behind the door, certain he can get a few more wears out of this one before it needed washing.

He rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt to his elbows, loosened buttons showing off a white undershirt and the hint of defined pectorals. Most of the lights in the apartment were on, the bedroom lit by low lamplight. Izaya is obviously around, and yet he normally greets Shizuo boisterously; often from his desk because he’s forgotten to stop working.

Shizuo untucks his shirt, slipping out of his pants and letting white fabric slip below his thighs. He’s thinking he needs a shower, or maybe he’ll just fall straight into bed, but he follows the sound of running water to the en suite.

Izaya really has a ridiculous apartment. His bathroom is off his bedroom, and if you pass through it you’ll find yourself in a large walk-in wardrobe. For someone who only wears the same ugly coat everyday Izaya sure has a lot of clothes. Shizuo’s not complaining, when Izaya wears that cream oversized turtleneck it does things to him.

Shizuo follows the rush of water to the bathroom. Steam clouds the air, mixed with a pleasant floral smell. It’s dark in here, the only light an illumination of candles on the basin and other various other spots. Water is filling the bath, a mix of bubbles and rose petals on the surface. Heated tiles warm Shizuo’s feet and he can’t help but feel the tension of the day lifting slightly at the relaxing atmosphere.

Until he almost has a heart attack.

Standing in the entrance to the wardrobe is a man with a white mask over his face.

Shizuo stumbles back, heart racing a million miles an hour as the figure emerges from the dark.

“What the fuck!?”

Shizuo clutches his hand in his shirt as he tries to force his rabbiting heart to calm down.

“You look like a fucking serial killer!”

He’s still trying to calm down from the shock as the masked man attempts a grin.

“Welcome home to you too, Shizu-chan.”

Izaya’s dressed in a maroon bathrobe and on his face is one of those stupid beauty masks he loves so much. Though, the serial killer look is slightly dampened by the fluffy white headband with cat ears Izaya wears to keep his hair back.

Izaya slinks up to him, arms going to wrap around his neck and Shizuo’s hands automatically go to his waist. It’s almost like a pavlovian response at this point.

“I’m not kissing you when you look like this,” Shizuo grumbles out to which Izaya replies with only a chuckle.

It’s disconcerting. The mask has holes for his mouth and eyes, and a slit for his nostrils, but other than that he looks completely macabre.

Shizuo ignores his own words when he allows Izaya to place a small peck on his lips.

“What’s all this?” Shizuo asks, rubbing circles into Izaya’s hips absentmindedly.

“Mm?” Izaya makes his usual noncommittal noise. “I thought Shizu-chan would like some pampering after a long day at work.”

Honestly, that sounds absolutely wonderful to Shizuo right about now. He eyes the bath off, noticing two glasses of lemon and mint infused water on the hob next to it. No doubt one of Izaya’s own ‘self-care’ creations.

Izaya doesn’t do anything without an ulterior motive and a sprinkling of manipulation, Shizuo thinks with his eyes narrowing back to his currently psychotic looking boyfriend.

“What’s the catch?”

“My, my … can’t I just be doing something nice for my boyfriend?”

“No,” Shizuo deadpans back to Izaya’s fake as shit voice.

He attempts to pout, but he can’t move his face muscles well without messing up the mask.

“Boo Shizu-chan, you’re no fun.”

“And you’re a pest,” Shizuo says as Izaya hangs off him like some sort of dramatic leach.

Izaya leans his head back, giving an over top groan as if Shizuo’s inability to react in the way he wants is his greatest annoyance.

“Come on,” Shizuo leans closer, mouth almost touching skin as he whispers low into his ear. “The sooner you tell me what you want the sooner you’ll get it, flea.”

Shizuo can feel the way the body in his arms tenses up momentarily, almost like a shiver going through him from the low tenor of Shizuo’s voice. Really, Izaya was pretty easy to handle once he learnt a few tricks.

One being that he was an incredibly horny fleabag.

Izaya is sliding his hands down Shizuo’s back, sweeping over the curve of his ass as he finds the hem of Shizuo’s shirt. He runs his fingers along the seam before sneaking under white fabric to press at his upper thigh.

“Hmm,” Shizuo pulls back to find copper eyes among a sea of white. Izaya’s hands on his skin are slightly distracting and just a little bit ticklish. “I want Shizuo to do a face-mask with me.”

“And?” Shizuo presses, digging the points of his thumbs into Izaya’s hips lightly.

“And have a bubble bath.”

Shizuo just pulls Izaya closer, pressing a swift kiss the crown of his head. “Alright louse, I guess that doesn’t sound so bad.”

Shizuo has a quick rinse off in the shower, afterwards changing into the navy bathrobe Izaya had brought to match his. It feels good to wash away the remnants of a long day, water beating down on his shoulders almost like a massage. Izaya’s shower had out of this world water pressure, honestly Shizuo was in love.

One face-mask later and the bath has finished filling. Steam is coming off the water, and Shizuo knows it’s still way too hot for either of them to get in. Though Izaya will probably try to early like always. He really was like some cold-blooded reptile, always trying to soak up as much heat as possible … usually from Shizuo himself.

Shizuo lets Izaya put his mask on. It was the best choice, considering the wet paper like cloth needed delicate handling and Shizuo would no doubt rip it immediately with his ‘monster’s paws’, as Izaya had said. He made sure to smack at Izaya with his monster paws for that comment.

The mask isn’t horrible. It’s wet and his vision is kind of obscured, and he doesn’t think it fits properly cause one side keeps curling down at his temple. Izaya had given him his own kitty ear headband to hold his fringe back, and the louse pesters him to take a few selfies together. Shizuo can’t help but snort at how ridiculous they look, kind of like a mannequin had a baby with a hockey mask.

They sit on the edge of the bathtub next to each other, sipping their drinks the best they can with the masks in the way. Shizuo eventually gets fed up and rips the sliver of paper between his nostrils and upper lip and Izaya almost chokes on his stupid lemon water laughing.

It’s cute.

It’s nice to just sit and talk, to take stock of each other’s day and catch up. Izaya plays footsies with him the entire time, and at one point Shizuo almost falls backwards into the bath trying to capture the louse’s calf between his feet.

Izaya’s hand is also rubbing once again against his thigh, sliding up under the material of his bathrobe. He massages his fingers into the muscles, pressing with precision into the knots hard enough to make Shizuo groan.

Izaya has a thing for his thighs. Shizuo doesn’t know why, but something about them makes the little pest go feral. They are thick and muscular, almost double the width of Izaya’s own legs and even if Shizuo didn’t see the appeal himself he’s happy to let Izaya have his fun.

Watching Izaya fuck himself against only his bare thigh really was a sight to behold.

After about ten minutes the face masks come off. Shizuo never could keep them on as long as Izaya; after a while it started to get too annoying and almost itchy. Still, Shizuo would be lying if he said it didn’t feel completely satisfying pealing the paper away from his skin.

He scrunches the mask into a ball, using it to rub the excess moisture of his face. Izaya folds his own mask much more neatly, leaning towards the mirror to inspect his skin as he wipes away any remaining excess.

Like every inch of that skin wasn’t flawless to begin with.

Shizuo rubs at his cheek, taking in how soft the mask has left his skin. He wasn’t that into self-care like Izaya was, but even he couldn’t deny these masks were magical.

Better was Izaya skin, which normally soft to the touch, became like silk under Shizuo’s fingertips. He can’t stop himself from reaching out, from cupping the flea’s cheek and rubbing his thumb against ivory skin.

It’s nice to finally see his unobscured face.

“Hey,” Shizuo’s turning that his to meet lips like satin in a soft kiss.

Izaya lets Shizuo set the pace to something slow and unhurried. He parts his mouth, tongue licking at the seam of Izaya’s lips before the other is turning to let him deepen the kiss further.

Shizuo licks into that wicked mouth with a careful consideration, letting Izaya’s taste flood over his tongue. There’s a hand twisting into the back of his hair and another once more kneading the flesh of his thigh.

Shizuo breaks the kiss slowly, dazzlingly eyes of whiskey alight with muted heat blinking softly back up at him.

“I’m home, Izaya.”

Izaya grins at the domestic phrase, rubs his nose against Shizuo’s and the little kiss is so cute that Shizuo can feel the tips of his ears go red.

“Welcome home, Shizu-chan.”

Izaya breath is like a whisper over his lips and Shizuo can’t help but mirror his smirk with a grin of his own.

Shizuo slips into the bath by himself, letting out a groan as the heat immediately relaxes the muscles in his back. It’s still way too hot. So hot that he can’t help but shiver, heat skittering almost painfully over sensitive nerve endings. And yet it feels like heaven, all of the tension flooding out of his body after a long day. He closes his eyes, letting his head lie back on the hob as he just soaks in the moment.

The patter of feet signal Izaya’s return. Shizuo opens one eye to see him standing before him with those same kitty ears and nothing else.

Izaya’s body is stunning. He’s lean and long limbed, but there’s a subtle grace to the way he holds himself. Shizuo always thinks of him as some kind of jungle panther. Light-footed. Slinking around like a predator. His waist is slim, and yet there is slight definition around his muscles, and his ass-, shit, his ass is a gift from God. Chasing the flea all those years had definitely paid off for him; and Shizuo was happy to enjoy the spoils too.

Izaya places a hand to Shizuo’s bicep as he steadies himself and steps into the water. Shizuo’s arm comes up to the small of his back automatically, ready to catch him at the first sign of a slip, but knowing Izaya it wasn’t necessary.

The flea slips into the space between Shizuo’s parted legs and leans back against his muscled chest. He lets out a little sigh as he submerges himself into the water up to his shoulders, obviously enjoying the heat sinking deep into his body just as Shizuo had. The noise is nice, something breathless and almost non-existent, something Shizuo is so attuned to he thinks he can almost hear it in his head rather than any physical sound.

Izaya’s leans his head back against his shoulder and Shizuo can’t help but wrap his arms around his waist, pulling him tighter against his front.

Izaya body fits perfectly against his, and not for the first time Shizuo is certain that flea was made for him.

The candles flicker with steam, and Shizuo thinks he could fall asleep right here and now.

Fwua!

A loud slapping sound breaks through his peace and Shizuo can feel giggles vibrating through Izaya’s back.

Opening his eyes again, Shizuo is met with the sight of Izaya scooping bubbles into his hands. He smacks them together quickly, the bubbles exploding into the air with his delighted giggles.

It’s too fucking cute.

“What are you, four?”

Izaya answers by twisting his neck to look over at Shizuo, a hand of foam raised and Shizuo’s barely has time to raise an eyebrow before bubbles are being blown into his face.

“Oi,” Shizuo hacks a cough, swallowing a great deal more soap than he ever wanted to. His eye twitches at the cheeky look in Izaya’s eyes and his grouchy tone really doesn’t match his own fond smile.

“Do you want me to drown you in this tub?”

Izaya pouts, “Shizu-chan don’t be mean.”

The pout cracks as his lips twitch up at the corners. Water splashes, the flea suddenly turning around fully and scooping up more bubbles.

“Shizu-chan let’s make you a bubble beard.”

“Haaah?”

“Haaah?” Izaya mocks, “come on old man.”

“I’m younger than you,” Shizuo quips back, trying to grab skinny wrists that keep trying to slap foam to his chin.

Wasn’t this supposed to be relaxing!?

Izaya’s attempts don’t ease up and he giggles as a ball of bubbles land delicately on Shizuo’s nose.

He narrows his eyes at his nose, as if the bubbles have personally offended him, and before Izaya can even get a yelp out Shizuo is shoving his head underwater.

Water goes over the sides of the tub and Izaya’s arms splash comically as Shizuo’s entire palm covers the crown of his head. He only gives it a few seconds before he lets up.

Izaya pops back up, hair sopping and stuck to his forehead as his kitty headband hangs pathetically around his neck. He splutters and coughs, attempting to glare at Shizuo as he rubs at his eyes.

Shizuo only gives a cocky raise of one eyebrow, as if to say ‘you started it’.

“Did you just try to drown me?” Izaya asks, his outrage fake as shit.

“You wanna go back under?” Shizuo threatens, but the tone is ruined by his wide smile.

Izaya grins, one shoulder coming up in a half-hearted shrug. He pulls off the headband around his neck, pouting at the state it’s in before flinging it over the side of the tub to the floor.

A glint flashes in Izaya’s eyes. It’s the only warning Shizuo gets before two hands are pressing down onto his head.

Shizuo plants his feet firmly on the bottom of the tub to stop from sliding, and Izaya’s wicked looked turns disappointed as Shizuo doesn’t budge an inch.

“Oi.”

Izaya’s eyes narrow into a look of determination, and he even gets to his knees as he tries to add even more force to Shizuo’s head.

“Why, won’t, you, die?”

Shizuo answers by letting himself suddenly slip under the water. The sudden loss of purchase has Izaya floundering and Shizuo swears he can hear him yelp through water.

Shizuo almost swallows an obscene amount of bath water from laughing before he pops back up. Izaya has slumped atop of him, arms around his neck as he holds his own head above water as if to keep himself from completely submerging.

Shizuo likes that. The way Izaya will always grab onto him, cling to him, whenever he loses his footing.

“Shizu-chan is so mean. Jail for a thousand years!”

Shizuo just chuckles, pushing Izaya’s fringe away from his forehead as he looks at him. He’s doing the face Shizuo loves, the one where his nose scrunches up oh so cutely. Shizuo loves that face, he wants to hoard it all to himself and never let anyone else see it.

If it got out Izaya was this cute Shizuo’s sure he’d have to beat off interested parties with a sick.

Mine.

Shizuo sits himself up, shaking his head like a dog to get the water out of his hair. Izaya squirms in his arms, but he doesn’t let go. Instead he manhandles the flea back into the same position they started in, with his back pressed to Shizuo’s chest, sitting between his legs.

There, Shizuo thinks triumphantly, Izaya’s wriggling getting less and less by the minute. He squeezes his thighs around the flea’s hips, wrapping his legs over the top of Izaya’s until he’s practically in a joint lock.

He’s really no match for Shizuo’s superior strength when it comes down to it. Still, it didn’t stop Izaya from trying to wrestle him daily.

“Have you calmed down you damn water rat?”

“Hmm,” Izaya hums as if he has no idea what Shizuo’s talking about. “Shouldn’t I be a water flea? Shizu-chan don’t you know it’s bad to mix metaphors?”

Shizuo just snorts at such a bratty response.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Izaya relents and relaxes back into his body and Shizuo can’t help but rub his nose against the back of his neck.

“You’re ridiculous,” Shizuo snorts into his skin, and he doesn’t need to see to know that Izaya is smirking.

He lets his lips and hands do the rest of the talking. Soft kisses trailing from Izaya’s neck to his shoulder and back again. He rubs his hands at the flea’s sides, making a path up and down slowly as he maps out every inch of creamy skin.

Izaya makes that soundless noise again, lips parted slightly as closes his eyes, focusing on sensation of Shizuo’s hands and lips on him. Shizuo’s touch is light, almost ticklish as he brushes fingertips across Izaya’s ribs, the water turning his path slick and easy.

Shizuo kisses are barely a press of lips to skin, so soft that it’s only the feel of his breath blowing out that makes Izaya’s skin erupt into goosebumps. Shizuo watches fascinated as that alabaster skin reacts before his very eyes.

Izaya’s got the faintest of freckles splayed across his shoulders, almost impossible to see unless this close. Shizuo loves to pick out each individual mark, a constellation of stars for his mouth to trace and follow. To worship and pay tribute to.

Shizuo rubs his hands from Izaya’s sides down to his hips, thighs, and back up again to his waist. Every time he trails down he moves a little bit further. Inch by torturous inch he teases skin until Izaya starts to squirm a little.

Heh.

Shizuo’s grin is wicked as he presses it under Izaya’s ear. His lips move up to brush against his pulse point and Izaya lifts his chin to allow Shizuo greater access.

Shizuo’s chuckle spills over skin for real and shivers are erupting once more over Izaya’s skin.

“Mmm?” Shizuo whispers a questioning noise, hands dipping past the heated flesh at Izaya’s inner thigh. “You like that flea?”

Izaya does a little jerk of his head, eyes closed and it really is too cute.

“Does it feel good?”

Shizuo breath is hot at his ear before he gives a playful nip to the flesh. He can feel the way Izaya’s breath hitches, the motion going through his back and making Shizuo’s own chest thrum with something primal and satisfied.

Shizuo’s rubbing his foot against Izaya’s calf muscle, feeling the way he squirms at the touch.

“What’s wrong?” Shizuo cheeks actually hurt from how wide he’s smiling. “Do you not like it?”

Izaya’s head shakes, the action almost frantic, and Shizuo rewards him by sliding the flat of his tongue over the muscle where his neck and shoulder meet.

His skin tastes clean and fresh, and Shizuo feels his mouth salivating with the desire to bite into that milky flesh. To see it bruised dark with his claim. He holds off though, content with just feeling Izaya beneath his hands, feeling the way his breathing goes a little faster at every dip closer to that heat between his legs.

“Does it feel good when I touch here?” Shizuo brushes his fingertips over Izaya’s ribs, taking in every little shudder as he whispers into his lover’s ear. “What about when I touch here?”

Shizuo’s hands trail inwards, and Izaya’s lips are parting in a gasp as his knuckles brush against the side of his cock.

“Ah, is there someone you want me to touch you flea?”

Shizuo rubs his fingers between Izaya’s thighs just above his knees, so close and yet so far, if the little whimper that escapes his lips is any indication.

Shizuo feels like an addict. There is just something about having Izaya in his arms, squirming and desperate for his touch and just … taking his time with him.

Dragging it out nice and slow.

Shizuo continues licking and sucking at the flea’s neck. Izaya has his hand trapped between his legs in a vice grip, and yet Shizuo still continues his slow, sweet touches.

He lets his touches turn rougher, digs bruises into pale skin as he sucks harshly on that spot beneath Izaya’s ear; the spot that makes him moan open-mouthed.

“Shizuo.”

His name is like a prayer on Izaya’s lips. Breathless and needy. Shizuo doesn’t know whether he’s begging for him to stop or begging for him to keep going, either way the sound sinks deep into his gut.

“Shizuo please.”

Shizuo’s grin goes impossibly wide, mouth gaping like a predator’s with its prey in its grasp. His lips find Izaya’s earlobe. He pulls the flesh into his mouth and sucks harshly.

It’s a dizzying juxtaposition. Wrenching his hand from Izaya’s thigh-crush, Shizuo grazes the tips of fingers over the head of his cock, the softest, slowest touch all night and it makes Izaya jolt.

“Fuck.”

Shizuo sucks hard at the flea’s neck, finger tips trailing down his shaft and to his navel. He rubs at the soft flesh there, relishing in the annoyed whine that Izaya makes as he moves away from his reddened cock.

“Shizuo,” he can hear the pout in Izaya’s voice.

“Look at you,” Shizuo releases Izaya’s ear with a wet sound, “I haven’t even played with your tits yet and this worked up.”

That whine becomes louder, more painful if possible, as if Izaya’s gritting his teeth together.

“Shizuo you better fucking touch me or I’m going to destroy all your stupid bartender outfits.”

It’s astounding. Izaya’s gripping his wrist so tightly Shizuo’s sure there will be indents of his nails left behind. How is it possible for him to still sound like such a vicious little thing when he’s desperately trying to put Shizuo’s unbudging hand to his leaking cock?

“Oi,” Shizuo growls low and Izaya’s body shivers fully at the sound. “Do you want me to drown you again?”

“Heh,” Izaya lips are quirking up, eyes hooded as he speaks out like silk and satin, “if you drown me there won’t be anyone around to suck your cock.”

Shizuo should’ve expected this. Expected Izaya would try to play dirty.

He was the definition of little brat that needed to be put in their place. Still, the words make his own dick jump, and he can’t help but press his erection harder into the swell of Izaya’s ass in warning.

“Oh?” Shizuo lets his tenor lilt upwards, “you wanna suck my cock that bad flea?”

Izaya snorts, and Shizuo can’t help but rub his nose against his neck in an overly affectionate gesture.

“Hey Shizu-chan,” Izaya’s turning his face, lips meeting lips in a sweet brush as he releases his death grip on Shizuo’s wrist.

Shizuo stares into dark, deep eyes; lets himself drown as Izaya presses his forehead to his.

“Yeah flea?”

Izaya eyes close, his mouth turning soft as he gives one of those rare smiles reserved just for Shizuo.

Shizuo’s eyes slip close, Izaya in his arms and his breath spilling across his face in a steady rhythm. It’s like an abstract concept become physical, a peace that Shizuo can literally hold within his hands.

Izaya dips his head to Shizuo’s neck, lips against skin as he whispers.

“I want you to tell me how badly I want to suck your cock … while you touch me.”

Shizuo’s eyes blow wide. His smile is going predator-like before he can even realise it.

Izaya was absolutely perfect.

Shizuo pulls Izaya’s body back with his, getting comfortable as Izaya settles himself in against his hold, nuzzling into his neck. Shizuo can’t help but shower his back in soft kisses.

“You want me to talk you through it baby?” Shizuo asks, letting his voice go softer. He’s cock is aching as Izaya shivers at the pet name. He forces it to the back of his mind, focus zeroing in on the body in his arms. “You look so good right now.”

Izaya just sighs and Shizuo rewards him with a kiss to his lips. It’s chaste and sweet, with the promise of something hotter simmering just beneath the surface.

He lets his hands slide through the water and up that irresistible body once more. This time when snakes his hand downwards he palms at Izaya’s cock lightly.

“Aah,” Izaya’s lets out this little moan, relief and pleasure all in one. As if not being touched had been painful, had been torture.

“That feel good? Being touched here?” Shizuo whispers a sonnet against Izaya’s neck. His eyes are wide open, mesmerized as he palms his hand with more force against the flea’s cock.

His hot in his palm, positively boiling compared to the cooling temperate of the water surrounding them. Shizuo enjoys the feel of him in his hands. Hot and heavy. Izaya has a nice cock, it’s long, not as thick as Shizuo’s but it curves nicely and his mouth waters at the sight of it.

“You’ve got such a pretty cock … for such an ugly flea.”

Izaya actually chuckles at the underhanded compliment and Shizuo feels himself flush at the sound.

Izaya was anything but ugly.

Shizuo’s certain even the most wicked of devils would repent at the beauty of his flea.

Mine, mine, mine.

Shizuo lets his touch stay slow and steady, matching his earlier exploration of Izaya’s body. He closes his fist around the shaft experimentally, the water making his slow pull even rougher.

Izaya’s head is thrown fully back onto his shoulder now. Eyes closed as he pants open-mouthed. His hips are doing these cute little jerk, moving in time with Shizuo’s hand, and every brush of his ass against Shizuo’s cock makes him want to groan out loud.

“Look at you, I bet you’re imagining it aren’t you?” Shizuo fists the head of Izaya’s cock with the barest of pressure and the other is whimpering. “My cock in your mouth … the taste of me on your tongue.”

“Ah-ah.”

Shizuo’s pace is increasing, fist going tighter as his words climb higher.

“You look so good with your mouth stuffed with my cock, baby,” Shizuo’s whispers are turning harsh in his ears. “God you feel so good around me. So wet.”

Shizuo’s eyes are closing and he can feel it. That warm wet heat enveloping him, almost overwhelming in its sensation.

“You want it so badly don’t you? Tell me how badly you want my cock.”

“Y-yes!” Izaya’s voice comes out high pitched and desperate. “I-, I want your cock … I-I need it.”

Shizuo rubs his hard dick against the crack of Izaya’s ass, in time with the flea’s desperate thrust. His lips are wet and wide against Izaya’s neck, kisses turning careless as he sucks and bites with abandon. Izaya’s body is going taunt in his arms, toes curling against the tub, abdominals clenching so tight it almost looks painful. His body is on the edge of trembling, pulled so tight Shizuo can feel that tension almost about to snap.

“Fuck baby,” Shizuo lets his voice go rough, lets it go needy.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Shizuo gives a feral growl, Izaya’s squirming and splashing in his arms as he sets a relentless pace against his cock. Shizuo twists his fist as he pulls up, water sloshing over the sides at his frantic pace. He fists the head tightly, twisting in a way that makes Izaya keen out like he’s been kicked in the gut.

“N-need you, fuck I need you baby.”

“Ah-, ah-, Shizuo!”

Shizuo’s desperation sends Izaya over the edge. The body in his arms tenses, like an electric current is running through it and then he’s shaking apart, moaning long and loud as Shizuo strokes him through his orgasm, never letting up as his cock spurts white into water.

He keeps stroking him. Izaya’s breathing is ragged as he collapses boneless atop Shizuo.

Eventually he slows his motions, letting his hand come to a steady stop as he feels all the little aftershocks shivering through the body in his arms. Izaya’s eyes are closed and Shizuo thinks he might have fucked him stupid.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Oi,” Shizuo presses a kiss to Izaya’s temple. “Don’t fall asleep flea.”

Shizuo can’t keep the smile out his voice. He has literal perfection in his arms, had that same perfection coming and calling out his name. His heart feels fit to burst…

His cock definitely is.

“Mm, Shizu-chan is such a sadist,” Izaya finally mumbles a response. He sounds dazed, like he’s intoxicated and on the verge of blacking out.

“Guess it’s a good thing you’re such a masochist then, huh?” Shizuo says between kisses to the smattering of stars over Izaya’s shoulder.

“Hmm,” Izaya’s eyes are cracking open, staring unseeing at the ceiling as he brushes a hand through the water absentmindedly. “The bath is dirty now.”

Shizuo snorts, “and who made it dirty, louse?”

“Shizu-chan should take responsibility, after all, it’s all his fault,” Izaya quips back, turning to press a smirk into Shizuo’s neck.

“Youbetter take responsibility,” Shizuo grumbles, pressing his still raging erection against Izaya’s backside in case he’d somehow forgotten about it.

Unlikely.

“But I’m tired,” Izaya whines pathetically, and Shizuo half kind of wants to drown him again. “Shizu-chan’s torture was relentless!”

Shizuo chuckles at that, the deep sound vibrating through his chest and into Izaya’s back.

“Surprised you just didn’t slip it in mid torture,” Izaya lilts with his usually vulgarity and yeah Shizuo should definitely drown him.

“Too tired,” Shizuo deadpans, “you do some work flea.”

“Heh, be careful what you wish for Shizu-chan.”

They end up in bed, barely dry as Izaya’s swallows down Shizuo’s cock like a man starving. Shizuo’s exhausted, splayed out on the bed as he hovers blissfully between the edge of sleep and the pleasure of Izaya’s hot mouth wrapped around him.

It doesn’t take long for him to come. Not long until he’s body is shaking apart and he’s calling Izaya’s name. He trembles as Izaya sucks him dry of every, last, drop.

Shizuo feels hazy, his skin hypersensitive from the aftershocks of his orgasm. He’s drifting off to sleep, Izaya snuggling in beside him and pulling the blanket up.

“Shizu-chan has tomorrow off, right?” Izaya asks innocently, and Shizuo thinks he brushes his hand through the flea’s hair but he’s not quite sure in his half-awake daze.

“Yeah.”

“Will Shizu-chan make me breakfast?”

Shizuo’s eyes are slipping closed again, the sight of Izaya tucked under his arm and snuggling into his neck the last thing he sees.

“Yeah flea,” he’s mumbling in his sleep, “do … anything…”

#shizaya #orihara izaya #heiwajima shizuo #writing request #fanfic request #oneshot #drrr #durarara #orihara izaya x heiwajima shizuo #please read tags carefully #fluff #self-care day #this was so fun too write

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luvskywalker · 4 years ago

Text

prideful piloting- chapter 1

poe dameron x reader

warnings: slight language?

word count: 1.1k

a/n- hi everyone! i hope you all had a merry christmas (if you celebrate it), so excited to share the first chapter with our fav pilot, hope everyone likes it. it’s a little short but it’s a good start for whats to come :)

poe dameron was a kriffing pain in the ass. it was now the second time this week that, yet again, he had made a reckless decision causing the loss of resistance pilots. valuable pilots. people weren’t exactly banging down the doors to join the resistance, and each loss was felt extremely. so, for the second time this week, the general had sent dameron to you to be set in line. he had quickly become a pest to you since your promotion to admiral, and you sighed as he entered your small office for the second time this week.

“commander” you greeted him, a bit of edge to your voice. your annoyance was evident, you were quite sick of the commander being sent to you. “admiral” he gave you a small nod in your direction.

“no need to take a seat, commander dameron. this will be quick.” you waved him off just before he began to sit in the small seat just across from you.

“why am i even here?” he asked, and you could see the irritation plain on his face. why was he here? you let your mouth part out of pure shock.

“do you not know? this is the second time in a week that you have been sent in to me and you don’t know why?” you looked at him incredulously.

“excuse me admiral, but i got the job done, i always get the job done. it might not have been the best way, but it’s done.” his voice had risen noticeably and he had begun wildly moving his hands in frustration. was he really choosing to argue with you? you would never stand for anyone arguing with you, and he knew that. the commander was cocky already and now he had resulted to picking a fight with you, his superior officer? he knew you oversaw the operations for the x-wing squadrons, and you would not stand for his protests.

“a weeks suspension, commander dameron. and on your suspension, i want you reporting to me each morning. you can now see yourself out commander.” the punishment you gave him was fairly reasonable, it’s not like you gave him a month out of the sky. you couldn’t necessarily afford to give him any longer anyway, he was your best pilot, though you’d never say it out loud.

“admiral, you cant take me out of the sky!” he looked at you as if you were crazy, the pilot was too prideful to acknowledge his mistakes.

“i can and i just did. thank you commander, you can go now.” you led him out of your office, following him out with your head held high to go see the general.

you have to admit, it felt good suspending dameron. he was too cocky for his own good, and everyone knew he needed to be humbled. you just did the resistance a huge favor. however, it wasn’t totally a personal success. now you were short a commander for the blue and black squadrons, and you’d have to quickly find one of the pilots fit enough to take command in damerons absence. i’ll figure that out with the general, you thought to yourself, making your way out of your office quickly. you knocked on the door to the general’s office quarters, and she let you in promptly.

“you suspended dameron” she said, the slightest bit of a smirk on her face. word always travelled fast to the general, she seemed to know things even before they happened.

“he questioned my judgment, you know how much i don’t like that general.” you responded, but you knew her well, and you knew she wasn’t angry. she was more laid back than many knew, too intimidated by general organa to see how much she enjoyed certain mischief.

“so now you need someone to take command for the blue and black squadrons.”

“exactly general. i was thinking about appointing wexley-“

she cut you off before you could finish your sentence.

“you’ll do it.” you could’ve jumped with your excitement. you hugged the general, and she welcomed you with open arms into her motherly embrace.

“thank you so much. but, please don’t send me on a mission until i get to punish dameron at least once. i was thinking of giving the custodial squad for the medbay the day off, cleaning duty will do him good.”

“i’d love to see it. your mission will be the day after tomorrow, that way you get to humble him a little before i assign him something.”the older woman cared deeply for both you and dameron, you could tell. she let you read her, which said something about your relation to her as well. it was comforting to you, knowing the general had your back always.

“thank you general. i won’t let you down!” you assured her, even though she already knew that.

when you left, you were approached quickly by dameron, and you were determined to not let him ruin your good mood.

“suspending me just to take my spot?” he had a smirk on his face. that would be gone once you put him on cleaning duty early tomorrow morning, after running him into the ground with training. what? he deserved it.

“if i wanted to be a commander i wouldn’t have accepted my promotion. scared because i do the job better than you?” two could play at his games. you were a little frustrated with yourself for sinking down to his level, but sometimes you had to fight fire with fire. he was almost stunned, you weren’t one for banter- at least not with him.

“they don’t call me the best pilot in the resistance for no reason.” he wore a proud smirk to accompany the comment, and you laughed at his shock. he thought he was a better pilot than you? then stars he had a big storm coming.

“we all know who’s really better, i just don’t need to talk about it all the time.” you had stunned him again, and you walked away with a smirk on your face and a feeling of deep satisfaction.

you lay awake that night, too excited to sleep.

it had been too long since you’ve taken to the sky. you were given the rank up to admiral about a year ago, leaving behind your duty of commanding the white and blue squadrons. now, you oversaw the x-wing pilots and their missions, and handled a few of diplomatic missions on the cruisers. it was a pleasing job, you were happy with whatever rank you held in the resistance. but truly, you knew that your place was in the sky, for you had the last name skywalker for a reason.

#x reader #poe dameron x reader #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron #jedi reader #the force awakens #star wars #star wars sequel fic

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daisybellejpeg · 1 year ago

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Ayooooo no prob! Mir seems lovely already and I like ur art style!

From what I’ve seen from arguing with people about it it seems like a mix of pretty flimsy reasons (with the exception of fictives n stuff obvi, whenever I speak on this I’m referring to asshurt nt fanpeople trying to morally or logistically justify using the character a serial groomer used to lure victims in and saying it’s quote “not their problem” what the people DIRECTLY AFFECTED BY THE FANDOM SEX PEST CREATOR think of it in response to criticism)

Like, I have an ask from someone saying they heard some douchecanoe say bright was necessary because “the foundation needs a chaotic redhead” even tho bright was brunet 🤡. I also got into a “hold my earrings” Twitter spat with someone in the latine part of the fandom (not part of ES-, a lurker) where we were essentially duking it out in Spanish because he thought I was a “wokie” for rallying for the character’s retirement and that myself and the modern wiki were “ruining essential scp foundation lore”. Shit, back in march (I think) someone tried to loresplain bright to me because they thought I’d be making Shaw white over,,,, me saying that Shaw was brunet,,,,, even tho most poc are brunet and he didn’t have a canon race at the time (as of now he’s Chicano-Mexican and actually darker than brights portrayed in most fanart, funnily enough).

Needless to say the incidents above along with the experience I’ve had with Mitch to begin with (and I will keep government naming the bastard bc their wife always did in one on one calls and also I wanna remind people this guy is an actual human being who should also be de platformed from irl events) is more than reason enough for me to not take people in that camp seriously. In hindsight I even feel kinda dumb for hyperfixating on such a bland ass character when the concept itself has so much potential, yk?

Currently my fav rewrite is @mattastr0phic’s Dr. Myriad! Deffo check them out, I think they’ve reached a happy medium by both making Myr similar to fanon bright and separating them from the source juuuuust enough so bright fictives can feel an actual connection with the character while removing the problematic shit. They even came up with the solution of covering the amulet with a satchel, so I’ve actually felt more than comfortable doodling Myriad!

Here’s Myr with Clef n Shaw C:

They also have a cool Mikkel rewrite with a ref sheet n everything

I want to know what everyone thinks about the dr elias shaw situation? About only changing brights name. I am considering making a whole new character with similar properties for my scp lore like ive seen some people do on here but i want outside opinions because id never want to hurt anyone and if just sending thay role to the shadow realm is better maybe id do that

Id never want to hurt anyone and real victims will always be more important than the little world in my brain

#scp foundation #tw//bright #scp art #scp doctors

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just-kit-ink · 5 years ago

Note

All the rest of WFRR characters loll

*deep breath*

//Okay let's do this! I'm only doing characters that were created for the movie/those that had the most screentime.

Part 1/2

Lt. Santino

1: sexuality headcanon: We never really see/hear about a significant other in the film but I'm going to headcanon that he's bisexual but closeted.

2: otp: ? Maybe he has a lover we don't know about who also works at the police station.

3: brotp: Him and Eddie Valiant of course!

4: notp: Him with Jessica or Dolores

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he's been a friend of Eddie's since his brother was still alive and on the force. That he doesn't have as much of a prejudice towards toons as his detective buddy does.

6: favorite line from this character: "Marvin Acme...the rabbit CACKED him last night!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: He has to look away when Doom dips the shoe.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: That he treats Eddie's drinking problem as an inconvinience instead of an addiction.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Complete cinnamon roll, just a very professional one.

Marvin Acme

1: sexuality headcanon: He likes the laaaaddiies

2: otp: Don't know? I always assumed he was already married and if not that at least has a string of messy affairs/seperations with both human and toon women.

3: brotp: I'll bet he was at least on speaking terms with RK Maroon before his death.

4: notp: Him and Jessica Rabbit of any sort, even fake for the cameras.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He's pulled the disappearing ink trick with wealthier and scarier people. Some found it amusing, others earned him a black eye.

6: favorite line from this character: "Oh it's a Panic!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: I love cartoons and I laugh a lot.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: The fact that he keeps on pestering Eddie with his gags even after Eddie has made it clear that he's not in the mood. Also the Patty-Cake pictures, where he's making all those sounds but you can't see what's happening!

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: A little bit of both. On one hand, he loves what he does and clearly has a respect for Toons but he also did business with Maroon which eventually lead to his death at the hands of Judge Doom.

Dolores

1: sexuality headcanon: Heterosexual and in love/going steady with Eddie Valiant

2: otp: Dolores and Eddie

3: brotp: Also her and Eddie as well as her and Roger but I quite like the idea of her being good friends with Jessica.

4: notp: Her and any of her patrons.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That she and Eddie love Catalina so much because it was where they met. Eddie, Teddy and their father were doing a circus show there and needed a volunteer from the audience. He pulled a bouquet out of thin air and gave it to her and then pretended to saw her in half - it was so romantic!

6: favorite line from this character: Too many! She's such a sass mouth! "Dabbling in watercolours, Eddie?" "Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" and "Is he always this funny or only on days when he's wanted for murder?"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: That she works hard and is tired all the time.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: The scene where she sees Eddie and Jessica together and Eddie's trousers have fallen down while Jessie is talking to him and it looks...bad. Doesn't help tt he bumps his head on her chest as he goes to pull them up.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Cinnamon roll that you don't want to mess with!

Baby Herman

1: sexuality headcanon: He loves human women...and is possibly a little bit gay for some male toons. (But the idea of that is weird to me, because he's literally a baby it's like shipping Stewie Griffen with someone.)

2: otp: Him and his human girlfriend that you see in the movie. I think she's just credited as "Ms Herman."

3: brotp: Baby Herman and Roger Rabbit. Before Roger started being late to rehearsals and messing up his cues, they were best friends.

4: notp: Probably him and Jessica, although he is very envious of Roger.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He plays both male and female baby roles. That everything in his home is baby-themed, right down to the giant cot and mobile. If he needs anything, he calls his mistress via a baby monitor.

6: favorite line from this character: "The whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers!" and "What da hell was wrong with that take?!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: Looks pure but is actually a foul-mouth.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: When he throws a tantrum because he dropped his cigar after Eddie pushed his pram down the hall...and when he darts underneath a woman's skirt...and the fact that he claims to have a "50 year old lust and a 3 year old dinky..." Wtf.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Both. He's a baby who chain smokes and can wrap anyone around his little finger by offering to pay them.

Benny the Cab

1: sexuality headcanon: Well he's a car, so I don't think gender's an issue. If you're wheels are shined and you got a nice set of headlights, he doesn't mind.

2: otp: I'd pair him with a nice flower-glass Corvette.

3: brotp: Benny and Roger. He is Roger's car after all.

4: notp: Him and any human character.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he also often appears in Roger Rabbit shorts, as the vehicle for a quick getaway during a chase, or comedic car wash scene.

6: favorite line from this character: "Sister, Mary Francis, what the hell happened in here?" and "I can't believe they locked me up for driving on the sidewalk!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: Likes helping, makes sarcastic quips.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: That he drives straight through the Dip and burns his tires and has to waddle over to Roger when he finds him which is like the equivalent of burning your feet with acid to him. Also, when he tells Roger to be careful using a real gun because "this ain't no cartoon ya know!" ...As he, a car, drives away in his own car.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Cinnamon roll unless you're a fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Smartass Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: I'm going to go with pansexual. He only cares if you have status and are not human (though that doesn't mean he hasn't had a fling with one or two.)

2: otp: No love interest in the film. Although I'm kind of a sucker for a tough guy character falling for a really sweet and innocent character.

3: brotp: Him and the rest of the Toon Patrol. He does care for them and he only hits them for laughing because he knows they are suscepitable to dying from it. Also, I feel like he would have gotten along better with Eddie Valiant had he not fallen in with Judge Doom because they're both bitter and hate the industry.

4: notp: I would say him and Doom. Or any of his boys.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he was drawn to be wicked but not a villain. He has multiple other items aside from his suit that are bright pink because he likes to dress flashy...and that the only people exempt from potential target by his patrol are children.

6: favorite line from this character: Honestly, every line of his is terrific. "Step outta line and we'll leave you and your laundry out to dry!" "Say Boss, what do we do with the wallflower?" and "Want us to disresemble the place?"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: Small but feisty.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: That all his team members get cute little toon ghosts when they die but he just...dissolves in Dip.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Problematic fave definetly! But even though he's mean, sneaky and carries a lot of weapons, he's also funny, charming and I can't help but feel a bit sorry for him because he was just tryig to please his boss. Weasels certainly are assigned villain roles in cartoons and maybe he was just fed up with it so he decided to become a real one.

Greasy Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: Heterosexual, biromantic...and he's an utter sex-pest.

2: otp: He needs someone who can reign him and his desires in so he can actually focus on whatever he's doing.

3: brotp: Him and the rest of the Toon Patrol, especially Smartass. He admires his boss' attitude.

4: notp: Him and Jessica. Their encounter in the film is cringe-worthy to watch.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: That he has a gentler, romantic side deep down but doesn't want to show it because he has too much bravado.

6: favorite line from this character: "I'll handle this one..." followed closely by a LOT of uncensored Spanish curse words!

7: one way in which I relate to this character: We both get crushes easily.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: When he reaches down Jessica's dress. He's so confident until her hidden bear-trap clamps onto his hand. He probably replayed the first three seconds beforehand over and over in his head though.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Problematic fav for sure! Perverted, knife-wielding henchman who reaches into someone's bosom in a canon Disney movie. Yet, he's still weirdly adorable. If he were human, I might say different.

Wheezy Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: I'm just going to say it...I headcanon him as gay and asexual.

2: otp: Don't really see him with anyone unless they're another smoker, (or are willing to put up with smoke.)

3: brotp: Definetly him and Stupid! Look at the way they drill through the wall together and laugh at our hero's predicaments towards the end if the film! They're great pals, having a good time!

4: notp: Him and Greasy.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He enjoys Camel cigarettes the best. And he's the best card player in the group.

6: favorite line from this character: It's so funny because he doesn't have many lines in the movie so I'm just going to say his dialogue from the Cartoon Spin ride at Disneyland "But Boss, Benny knows ToonTown, like the back of his tread!" and his laugh.

7: one way that I relate to this character: Chill most days until I see or hear something funny then I lose it.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: The fact that he tries to grab onto his ghost to try and pull it back into his body before it leaves.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Problematic fav. Carries a tommy gun and is not afraid to use it, knows that smoking won't do him any harm since he's a toon and is good at following orders even if they're immoral.

Psycho Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: N/A Psycho is like the family dog. A feral one...that was rescued from the streets.

2: otp: None. Unless you like snuggling, just mind the teeth.

3: brotp: Psycho and Stupid as well as him and Wheezy. Wheezy is like a parent looking after him and Stupid is like his sibling.

4: notp: Basically him with any other character.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He doesn't really use his barber-shop razor for anything nefarious, but he likes how threatening he looks with it. Also, when you scratch behind his ear, his leg does the scritch thing where he kicks behind it.

6: favorite line from this character: "Time to kill the raaaabbbit...hee hee!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: We're both a bit mad. He's just toonier. And we laugh like maniacs.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: When Eddie Valiant just straight up kicks him across across the bar when he tries to attack him.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: I'm going to say he's a problematic cinnamon roll. He has no problem doing wicked things but he's too small and cute to really be considered awful. At one point Eddie snatches Marvin Acme's will out of his hands and he looks like a kicked puppy. He bad but he baby.

Stupid Weasel

1: sexuality headcanon: A hopeless romantic for anyone, but too dumb to realise when someone's flirting with him.

2: otp: I like the idea of him and an equally dim character so they can both be ignorant and happy together.

3: brotp: Stupid and Psycho. They're just the children of the patrol.

4: notp: Him with his boys or human characters.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: He once got into a heated argument with another weasel who had broken into their hideout until Smartass informed him he was looking at a mirror.

6: favorite line from this character: Again, he gets hardly any lines. "Boss! Look at the little birdies!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character: I have my moments where common sense just leaves me.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: Him falling backwards into a row of humans at the bar when he is pushed by Eddie. They just...goes right down, like bowling pins or dominos.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?: Despite being in the Toon Patrol he's a total cinnamon roll. I don't even think he knows what he's doing half the time and that's really sweet.

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saint-patrice · 5 years ago

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“Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD”

here are some more of my favourite marchy pics, complete with my bizarre personal commentary, for anon! the 34 bergy pics can be found here also!

Note: a few people have said they like these posts, so i’m up for taking people’s requests if there’s a particular player they’d like to see! inbox is always open (and anon is on) so just drop me your request and i’ll get working on it :)

okay so this is some absolutely premium cute marchy!! the smile that manages to be completely self-confident yet in no way cocky? the polite little wave as he surveys his audience who, if i recall correctly, were booing him heavily?? oh i do love you mr rat. marchy is fantastic and i have so much respect for the way he deals with his reputation across the league and the excessive amount of shit he gets.he knows what people think of him yet doesn’t seem to let it get to him. i have so much love for him.

KATRINA IS LEGENDARY. before moving on to the part of the image that gave me whiplash when i first saw it, we’re back to talking about brad’s smile. i think i said it in my last post but he really is one of those people who smiles with their whole face - even if you just saw his eyes in this photo you can immediately tell that he’s got that little grin on his face and that’s adorable tbh. now onto the d*lf mug (censored bc i fear the dodgy underground porn blogs these days)… i don’t even know where to start. i feel like he very proudly bought it for himself. and it’s like the only mug he ever wants to drink out of. just my take. i also think the longer hair really suits marchy ngl

ahhh the boys and their dirtbag christmas suits 💛 highlights of this image are the suit jacket that is definitely just one size too small for this absolute man rocket, and the pants with “FRAGILE” plastered all over them - very relatable if not at all festive.

gay rights are stored in the rat!!! i’m glad marchy has been pretty open about his support of LGBT stuff, particularly within hockey. also i feel like some of the stuff he’s said in interviews or social media (esp re: lickgate) manages, even if not intentionally, to be quite diminutive towards implicit homophobia or ‘toxic masculinity’ within hockey. okay maybe that that was poorly expressed but basically he just doesn’t give a shit and appears very open and accepting and i think that’s super nice. this picture also makes for a good reaction image when someone says something dumb

short kings love.jpeg !! a wonderful example of the love that brad shows his teammates on a regular basis, despite his constant chirping. i have no real opinions on torey krug (no h8, i just don’t think i’ve seen that much of him off ice so idk) but him and marchy are quite the duo tbh, i live for their back and forths on twitter - more on that later - and they seem to love each other an awful lot, it’s v cute :^)

that’s my pest™. honestly i think lickgate is one of the best scandals in recent hockey history. when looking for a good image of this is saw an article where some dipshit reporter was outraged about it and was like “how would you feel if someone just came up and liked you?” i mean what if someone just came up and started punching you or hip-checked you into the wall????? hockey is a nasty game a lot of the time, and instead of giving people concussions or broken bones (not that he hasn’t in the past ik…) marchy managed to make opposing teams just as angry, if not moreso, just by licking players. i think it’s fucking hilarious. and most of them took it well in hindsight anyway - i think it was komarov who said he kinda liked it lmaoooooo. peak bradley kevin antics if you ask me

every pic from the china trip has such a special place in my heart. this is just an all-round adorable photo and brad is looking gorgeous in the sunlight and his backwards cap

brad waving the towel in surrender is just about the funniest thing i’ve ever seen someone do in the penalty box… i can’t believe they gave him a 10 minute misconduct for it, something i think they’d wouldn’t have done if it had have been someone else. at least someone in this league has a goddamn sense of humour. the penalty minutes stat in the corner just makes this even better

brad, once again, showing us how we should deal with people talking shit about us - just get on board with it. i love how much he’s just embraced his massive nose and his height and his general reputation. idk if it’s really deliberate but i think it’s such a good message to send, and it makes for some pretty funny stuff too.

brad single-handedly keeps nhl refs in a job. in my bruins drinking game™ you have to take a shot every time the ref has to physically restrain marchy (2 if it’s because he was going to get revenge or fend for bergy) and you could get fucked off that alone during some games. it was nice to see him not actually get suspended this year, but i will always love that he’s such a physical player and quite the pest on the ice :))

me: *slaps helmet of brad marchand* this bad boy can fit so much personality.

really though, can you believe he’s managed to squeeze more charisma into only 5 feet and 9 inches than 85% of the league combined… very cute picture, and always lovely to see him by bergy’s side on the ice where he belongs

oh my goddddddd how fucking cute is this though!!!! the hat! the dad energy those jeans and the boots give off!!! his face!! his little daughter!!!!! i can’t take it, my heart is going to burst.

(gif via @kureally) this is also just so cute, i need a minute. brad has some very powerful eyebrows and this gif displays them wonderfully. this section of behind the b was also pretty sweet all round, and i agree with pasta that the hair is looking pretty first class

(gif via @murlin09) i am not like into marchy (no tea no shade if u are though), but this gif… whew. i’ll let you come to your own conclusions on this one, gang

i was not lying when i said more on the brad-torey social media antics earlier. there are some truly iconic chirps (the zamboni one is lethal), but this self-roast just kills me every time. i never once thought i’d read a tweet from the official brad marchand twitter account that opened with “hey shorty” but here we are. “my nose wouldn’t fit” i astral projected the first time i read that. and if you’re wondering what torey said to prompt this, it was simply “hey marchy”. it doesn’t take much for brad to light on you, huh? we better watch our backs

definitely a favourite marcheron pic right here - the pucks and paddles (i still think that’s a questionable name but maybe that’s a me issue) content is always top notch. if you can find the video, it’s even better, but this picture captures the general energy of the video perfectly. the only thing missing is that brad’s feet aren’t actually on the floor because the height difference is so pronounced that bergy has to lift him. beautiful

return of the cute brad smile!! a cute yet mischievous little grin, i can only assume he’s restraining himself from laughing at m*tthews fivehead (although who is he to talk with that schnozz. at least he rocks it tbf 👃🏻). not sure blue is really his colour but he’s going for it anyway. that’s my all star!

it’s been days since this photo first surfaced and i haven’t stopped palpitating. the cutest photo ever, they all look so happy and i love that!!! also how are their wives so beautiful….!? oh my every pixel of this image is just stunning

i know i included this in my last bergy list but if they can name new york twice i think i can put this on 2 lists, because lord knows it’s even more iconic. i feel like this is a good metaphor for brad marchand: getting up to no good, although still relatively harmless, all the while supported by the considerably more sensible, yet still entertaining, patrice bergeron. additionally, another excellent display of the oft-overlooked fact that this man is built like a motherfucking tank. holy shit

i wish i could see these boys in suits without my brain immediately trying to think of some sort of au. anyway, i really like this look on brad (unpopular opinion - i love his loud checkered suits as a concept but i don’t think they look good). although he has dark hair, strong eyebrows, and dark facial hai, the all black actually looks really good on him. coffee in hand really adding to the look too - well done, brad “fashionista” marchand.

ahhhhh i love nothing more than family man marchy 💛 his daughter is adorable - those tiny jerseys kill me - and i love that his son is wearing the all-star jersey omg how cute (he is definitely going to end up taller than brad lmao)

sometimes i forget that brad is short and then i see photos like this (brandon is 6′5 for reference)…amazing. i relate to the lady on the left on a spiritual level. brad’s face is a mood and a half. his feet are half a foot of the ice at least. i adore this photo.

(gif via @brandoncarlo) absolutely one of my fav things about watching bruins games is how brad and patrice will always find each other during a celly - nothing beats the 100 hug. this is also just a very satisfying skating gif that i love.

last but very very very far from least is this. there is literally no need for me to make any comment on this so i’m just going to leave it and go. bradley kevin marchand you are iconic and ily

ayyy this was super fun to do, thank you for requesting it anon, i hope you like!! again, i’m absolutely up for taking requests for more of these lists so hmu if you have ideas :)

#my bergy post was pure thirst for the most part #this is just me appreciating the true iconicness that is marchy #the effort i went to to not use 'iconic' every third word...bc he just is #answered #Anonymous #bruins photos compilations #bruins #marchand

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