#i think its a take me to church joke?
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crabsdaily · 1 year ago
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going through my notes app found this
what does it mean
what was going on in my life to think this at 4:33pm
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predestinatos · 10 months ago
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you mean everything - MV1 ೀ⋆。🌷
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summary: max needed a wedding date and you were used to being his fake partner.
tags: max verstappen x fem!reader, fake dating, friends to lovers, max is so whipped, fluff, a bit angsty maybe?, mentions of alcohol
word count: 2k
notes: i've been writing (and thinking) so much about max... my period is coming please give me a break i'm sensitive. also would love to get some feedback if possible so i know if it's worth making a series out of this!!!!
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"If you want to make it believable at least hold my hand" you half-whispered to Max, who was buttoning his blazer while getting out of the car, you behind him.
"Sorry, I'm not used to this with you" he said chuckling. His sweaty palm held yours tightly, and the feeling of it was odd. Knowing Max for so long meant that these romantic gestures felt almost cringeworthy to you both, and you both had to put up award winning performances every time you played this game.
The game in question being fake-dating. It started as a funny joke where you both thought it would be great to test out the Get A Champagne Bottle For Free At This Restaurant If You Propose theory (which worked, by the way). From then onwards, you used each other as dates whenever asked by annoying family members, creepy coworkers, or just because you felt like lying.
The talking wasn't hard - you both felt comfortable in that part, lying with words coming off almost dangerously natural - but when it came to acting the part, both of you felt awkward, like kids who found relationships absolutely repulsive.
This time, though, the performance would last longer than usual: it was a wedding. Max's friend's wedding. Max could've just gone along, or bring a friend (even you as a friend). Yet he had told his friend, after one too many shots on his Bachelor's Party, and after being chosen as The Guy Who'll Take the Longest to Settle, that he had, in fact, a girlfriend. His friends didn't believe him, so he showed a picture of you two together - a selfie really, nothing much. And they still said they didn't believe it. So here you are.
You couldn't blame him, even if you wanted to. You agreed to use each other as a fake partner for as long as you could in as many situations as required, although when it all started none of you ever thought it would lead to wedding attendances.
So now there you were, Max's hand on yours, entering the small church. His eyes locked with the groom, who waved and called for you to sit near the altar.
"So you ARE real" he said, nervousness laced in his voice even as he tried to lighten the mood himself. You giggled at the irony of it, nodding as you said your congratulations.
"Just wait until the guys see this" he continued gesturing towards the bench where 3 other men around his age sat. Men you had seen before in some Instagram pictures, men you spent the previous night trying to memorize basic information about so you didn't sound suspicious.
Max's hand now fell on your waist almost instinctively - it wasn't instinctively, he told himself once he noticed its positioning. And if it was, it was only because he took this so seriously, almost as a sort of method acting. Sitting down next to his friends, he noticed how all of them seemed surprised at your presence, and something like pride filled his chest. He loved winning, loved being right even if he was lying; but most especially, he loved how jealous other men seemed to be over the fact that he was (at least in their minds) dating you.
He couldn't deny - though he tried, really - that you two looked good together. His rougher features mixed with your softer ones gave you both an aura of near unreachability, which yes, was pretentious of him to think but he thought nevertheless.
The ceremony was quick and endearing, a smile spread across everyone's faces at the shared loved between the bride and the groom. As the crowd clapped, Max leaned into you, "don't tell me you're crying". "I am, just to think that I'll have to keep pretending to date YOU for the next 10 hours" you replied, his mocking smile recognizing the joke.
The reception hall was beautifully decorated with shades of soft green and violet orchids. Max tried not to think about how much it matched the shade of your dress, how you looked like you had come to life from a classical novel. He tried to feel like anyone but Mr. Darcy as you felt so much like Elisabeth Bennett to him.
Sitting down next to him, you found this part easier - mingling and socializing was something you enjoyed more than he did - especially with alcohol in the mix. It's a wedding, you thought; this is what weddings are for.
So you drank the wine with the main course and sipper champagne to celebrate and ordered a few cocktails when it was time to dance and talk - and you felt it on your body almost as much as you felt Max's hand occasionally sitting on your thigh, but not even close to how strongly you felt his thumb caress your skin as he did so. Truth was, he too was drunk; his eyes looked smaller and his cheeks were flushed, and the amount of times he ran a hair through his dirty blonde hair had caused it to look messier. As you looked at him, you felt he never looks as attractive as when he is like this - loose and carefree, his shirt sleeves rolled up and a smile on his face when he notices people laugh at his joke.
"I have to admit I didn't think it was true" his friend said when Max left to go to the bathroom. He looked drunker than the two of you combined, his words hard to decypher, like a riddle. "He's been talking about you for months now and we never saw you for real so we thought you didn't exist" he laughed, and you laughed back before it registered.
"Months?" you asked him, eyebrows furrowed yet attempting to remain composed. You shouldn't have asked it - a supposedly month old girlfriend wouldn't be surprised but you were his fake month old girlfriend and you weren't understanding it anymore.
"Yeah. He talks about you so much all the time I think even we started to date you" he laughed again, yet this time you didn't find the joke so funny. You were frozen in your seat, merely blinking as if trying to put the confusing puzzle together, the pieces not quite fitting the way you thought they would.
A touch on your shoulder unfroze you, almost like magic, like a disney film come to life. You turned around to find the groom, somewhat sober, smiling at you while also looking somewhat concerned. "He's calling for you... And he's also absolutely wasted" he said, pointing to the door of the hall.
"Shit" you cursed, getting up from your seat at a speed you couldn't believe, worry filling your heart, making you forget the conversation you were just having.
Opening the door to the garden outside, you found Max sitting down against the wall, shirt partly unbuttoned and disheveled hair. When he saw you, he grinned, such genuine happiness laced with tipsiness.
"Lightweight" you mocked as you crouched in front of him, trying to balance yourself on your heels, somehow managing it despite your own drunkness.
"You're laughing at my mis- Shit- my misery" his throat bobbed up and down, exaggerating his own agony with a hand on his chest and another on his forehead like a Shakespeare character.
"I have to admit it's quite fun sometimes" you bit your lip as you fixed his hair as best as you could, hands brushing through its soft, blonde mess.
"You're so– you're so sweet" he said, his words dragged and messy. He brought a beer bottle to his lips but you stopped him before any liquid touched them.
"I think that's enough of that for tonight" you grabbed it and placed it behind you, sitting in front of him.
"See now... Now you're being mean" his hand grabbed a strand of your hair and played with it softly as he pouted.
"Okay big boy I'm gonna get you some water" you say, getting up once again, yet his hand stops you, grabbing your wrist tightly.
You looked at him, startled. His drunken state is visible, and it felt frustrating that you had to be the one sobering up for him. The music vibrated through the wall he leaned against, somehow tickling him, making him giggle.
"Stay," he managed to say, eyes half closed, "I'm so glad we're- Fuck things are spinning so much" his hands rushed to his eyes and his head hung low, "Ah fuck. I'm so glad we're datin- Fuck, no, oops-" he continued laughing despite how sick he felt, the whole situation sounding hilarious when filtered through alcohol.
You giggled along with him, mostly because you wanted to see if you could convince him to move, scared he might feel worse or pass out on the cold floor if he doesn't do so. "Fake dating. Fake dating, I know. I knowww" he continued, his words dragged and his finger pointing at you before poking your nose with such innocent sweetness you were taken aback.
"Max" you tried to sound more assertive but found it hard to do so, your own intoxicated state making the situation lighter than what it actually was. Your heart racing was a symptom of it, one you wouldn't feel if sobriety was an option, you thought. Max's eyes wouldn't seem to stare at you differently were he sober as well, and the way he scanned your features, his gaze staying on your lips for longer than expected, wouldn't affect you in the slightest had you not drank some alcohol.
"I like it when you say my name" he looked up at you innocently, pleading, almost.
"Want me to say it again?" you asked, smiling. You complied with these demands because you knew they were childish whims of an intoxicated man, his happiness a priority in times like these. Upon his nod, you started saying his name, half teasingly, half reassuringly, the leaves rustling in the garden behind you.
"Max... Max!! Max Max-"
He shouldn't. It would complicate things, and he liked when they were simple, clean and organized. He knew he shouldn't even when his whole vision spun and his brain convinced him that he should do things he would never do otherwise. But every time he refrained from saying something he would stumble across all his words and trip and fall and his head would only hurt more, and it seemed as if he could only focus if he kept listening to you and talking to you and looking at you.
The lights shone behind you in a way that made it feel as though he was dreaming, like you were a mirage, too good to be true. Maybe his friends were right - you weren't actually real. He wanted to be sure, in that moment. That you were real and that he wanted you as much as he thought. And though he shouldn't, though it was a terrible idea, he couldn't help but lean over to kiss you.
He tasted like champagne - bubbly and slightly sweet, his movements sloppy given his state, yet you couldn't help but drink it all in. Part of you - a big part - reciprocated the kiss, felt his fingers on the side of your neck, pulling you messily towards him, and tried to steady him, guiding him gently with your own lips.
It was odd, how this felt so right yet the fake hand holding didn't. As Max kissed you, that thought entered his clouded mind - did it feel wrong because it was fake and this was real? Your skin felt so soft, so much softer now he could touch it freely and unapologetically.
"Fuck-" he started, pulling away, his head resting against the wall once again as he stared at you, noticing how it hasn't hit you yet; what you just did, how it affected everything. "I fucking love you" he shrugged as you fixed your hair, pausing with arms raised for a few seconds before smiling softly.
"You're drunk" you replied, looking at his own grin, the gleam in his eyes making him appear both innocent and guilty of so many things.
"I'm drunk and I fucking love you"
"Max..." you started, and he said your name back to you with such tenderness you couldn't believe his lips tasted of alcohol earlier and not something sweet.
"We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" you continued, waiting for the silence to swallow you both.
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cameronsprincess · 4 months ago
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thinking about innocent!reader being caught by and trapped in a church by dark!rafe cameron…
CW: dark!rafe, innocent!reader, public sexual relations (in a church, oops), forced blowjob, face slapping, slight praise, spitting…
daydreams
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you knew he was there. you could feel him, his presence like a cold, harsh hand wrapped around your throat suffocating you. you tried to ignore his presence though, knowing that the second you made eye contact it was over. he’d eat you alive and spit you out, leaving you ruined forever.
rafe cameron scared you. it wasn’t any one thing in particular that scared you, it was just him. the way he carried himself, the way he spoke, the dark aura that surrounded him on a daily basis. why he had his sights set on you? you weren’t sure. you’re not the typical girl he would usually go for, you’re an innocent, church going woman.
you clasp your hands together tighter, the position on your knees becoming more uncomfortable the closer he gets to you.
“i like you in this position, on your knees and vulnerable.”
a gasp escapes you, a shiver wracking your body when you feel his warm breath against your neck, the low, raspy sound of his voice in your ear. tears begin to sting your eyes, your body trembling as his thumb lightly rubs against your cheek. up, down. up, down. it’s like a twisted dream that you can’t seem to escape.
“turn around, princess. let me see those beautiful eyes as tears fill them.”
you swallow thickly, taking in a deep, shaky breath before moving to stand. rafe’s harsh grip on your upper arm stops you in your tracks, your eyes wide with panic.
“i didn’t say stand, now did i?”
“n-no.. but how-”
rafe tightens his grip on your upper arm, forcefully turning your body. you’re pushed back onto your knees, your sweaty, shaky palms pressed flat against the fabric of your dress that covers your thighs.
his fingers find your cheeks, gripping them so tight a shockwave of pain shoots through your face. he forces your head up, forcing your eyes on his. rafe has very pretty eyes, you can’t say he doesn’t, but right now they’re so dark, like the deepest point of the ocean where no light can reach.
“so perfect,” rafe groans, “open your mouth f’me, yeah?”
your eyes widen at his command, and you try to shake your head no, but he nods just as quickly, “yes.” he growls.
“r-rafe.. we’re in-” you pause, trying to calm your racing heart, “we’re in a church…” you whisper.
he just smiles at you. a smile that’s so cold and detached it makes your heart thump harder in your chest.
“that’s what makes this even better, doll. i’m going to ruin you in the eyes of the lord, i’m going to ruin you in a place you’d normally feel safe, every time you come here, you’ll think of me,” he tightens his grip on your face, forcing your lips to part slightly, “now. be a good girl, and open your fucking mouth.”
you let the first tear fall down your cheek and suck in a breath before opening your mouth for him. rafe grins, his eyes darkening further. you sit on your knees, mouth open for him as you wait on what he does next.
rafe gathers saliva in his mouth, leaning forward and spitting it into your open mouth. you gag at the intrusion, trying to swallow down the vomit that threatens to make its way up. rafe chuckles at the tears falling freely down your cheeks.
“why’re you so scared, doll? i’m not gonna hurt you… too much.”
“what… what do you want?”
rafe’s smile grows and he releases your face, undoing his belt and tossing to to the ground beside you. you watch with wide, tear filled eyes as he pops the button on his jeans, working the zipper next as he says, “isn’t it obvious? i want you.”
“but.. but why? i’m not.. i’m not like all the other girls on this island, why do you want me?”
rafe laughs as if you made a joke. “that’s the point.”
he quickly shoves his jeans and boxers down his legs, letting them pool around his ankles. more tears slip past your bottom lashes as you take in his long, thick cock. the tip is red and swollen, already leaking from the slit.
“rafe, i-” you begin, but he cuts your off when he grips his cock in his hands, running the tip against the seam of your lips, smearing his precum on them.
“you’re gonna suck my cock now, princess. and you’re gonna let me cum down that pretty little throat of yours.”
you suck a deep breath into your lungs, knowing you’re not going to get another chance for a minute. slowly, your bloodshot, tear filled eyes find his, and you nod your head, agreeing to whatever he wants.
he smiles, tapping the side of your face with his large hand, “good girl, now, open those pretty lips f’me.”
you do as he says, opening your mouth wide. rafe groans at the sight before him, softly stroking at his cock with one hand while the others makes its way to the back of your head. he digs his fingers into your hair, shoving your head forward, his cock slowly disappearing into your mouth.
you close your lips around his thick shaft, moving your tongue around it and sucking the best you could, testing out what he’d like. the quicker he cums, the quicker you can go home and brush your teeth and try to forget that this monster of a man just cornered you like this.
“fffffuck, princess. your mouth feels so good wrapped around my cock.”
you whimper and rafe groans. he tightens the grip in your hair, holding your head in place. he begins to thrust his hips forward, making you gag and forcing more tears from your eyes. you gag around his length when the tip hits the back of your throat, the vibrations pulling low, appreciative groans from rafe. he slows his hips, slowly pulling his cock from your mouth before pushing it back down.
“goddamn, so fucking beautiful…” thrust. “so fucking mine.” thrust.
more tears fall from your eyes as he continues his slow thrusts, snot runs from your nose and your throat is sore. rafe doesn’t let up though, he picks up the pace of his hips once more, forcefully shoving himself in and out of your throat.
“fuck, doll. never knew a mouth could feel this good, gonna cum down your throat now, alright? and you’re gonna swallow every last drop.”
you try to nod your head, but the grip he has on your hair doesn’t allow it, so instead you let out a gagged whimper. rafe releases your hair, pulling himself from your mouth and harshly slapping your cheek, making you cry out from the sting.
“answer me, doll. you’re gonna swallow all my cum, right?”
he slaps your face again, and your cheek burns. you swallow, wincing at how sore your throat it, but you force your eyes to meet his, flitting down for a second to watch him stroke his cock before looking up again. “ye- yes..” you whisper.
“good girl.”
he shoves his cock back down your throat, brutally thrusting his hips forward. his balls slap against your chin, drool falls past the corners of your lips as he fucks your face as if his life depends on it.
“ffffuck, ‘m coming.. goddamn!”
his hips stutter, coming to a halt as his cock pulses in your mouth. a warm, salty substance fills your mouth, invading your tastebuds and making you gag again. rafe grips your hair so tightly your scalp burns. he grunts once, twice, finally cursing and calling your name before he releases your hair and slips his softening cock from between your lips.
you let your head fall forward, silent sobs wracking your body. rafe squats down, his fingers lightly gripping your chin and forcing your eyes on his. he leans forward, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “you’re all mine now, doll. all mine.”
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idk y’all, how do we feel?😮‍💨
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norman-fucking-reedus · 7 months ago
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BEGGING ON MY KNEES FOR CORRUPTION KINK WITH DARYL YOU WRITE SMUT SO HEAVENLY😫😫😫
SWEET LITTLE SINNER
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THE YUMMY STUFF: Age gap, (Daryl is in his late 50s, Reader in her early 30s) Creampies, breeding kink, fingering, bit of cockwarming, just smutty stuff, ...petnames 😇, semi-public?? guys they fuck in the church, virgin fem!reader, religious!reader, dont cancel me for this, but religion kink
DO NOT READ IF YOU THINK YOU'LL FEEL OFFENDED BECAUSE HOW YOU FEEL IS NOT MY PROBLEM
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OKAY ANON I KNOW IM ANSWERING THIS REQ MONTHS LATER BUT BEAR WITH ME ALRIGHT 🎀
Im playing around with a new posting format and I honestly really like it so far! Im just literal dogshit at summaries so I don't necessarily bother with them (I mean at least I try) but eeeerm guys let me know if its cutie AND PLEASE LOOK AT MY BLOG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I CHANGED THAT TOO
So after scrolling through the mounds of unanswered asks I have, I found this one and it reminded me of a conversation I had with my sister abt Daryl x a Christian girl who holds herself very high to her faith and has a deeper understanding of the bible
This takes place around the time they find gabriel, and somehow this ended up being a !greene reader, I also had to extend the church for... purposes :3
Believe it or not this is my first time ever writing corruption kink 😭 I got this request back when I was still fresh on tumblr and its been sitting ever since because I just didn’t know what to do (and I still dont)
southern gothic has me in a chokehold and I cant breathe
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"Come on! Fight to the fence!" The sound of Rick's voice bellowed over the deafening clang of metal and ringing gunfire, rapidly taking down any walkers that shuffled within range as the men helped the women to climb over the fence first, Carl dropping down and catching all the weapons that were tossed onto the safe side.
Rosita crawled up the chain fence quickly, noticing that you were behind her when she was balanced right on top and extending a hand out to you. "Up and over" She lightly yet urgently joked, and you could only let out a small huff of air as you grasped her hand, and hauled yourself upwards, swinging a leg over to join her in scaling down the other side.
"Let's go! Move your asses!" Abraham shouted as he fired his gun, covering Rick as he made a break for the fence, the redhead man not far behind once the walkers had started to herd up. He threw the firearm over the fence and easily jumped onto half the fence, using a walker's head as a boost to fling himself over onto the other side.
As you and the others hastily gathered your belongings, no one dared to look back at the remnants of Terminus, trying to stay together as you all ran for a safe place behind Rick, expecting that he had some kind of miracle up his sleeve and would find a place to hunker down for a few hours, days even.
Despite the chaos and the destruction that surrounded you, you and the rest of the group hastily gathered your belongings, not daring to look back at the ruins of Terminus. Trying to stay as closely together as possible, you all followed Rick's lead as he dashed through the trees. He was the one who had kept the group alive for so long, and everyone was hoping that he could do it for just a little while longer.
After what felt like forever, you could feel the intense heat seeping into your skin and making your clothes stick to your body. Every step you took felt like a burden, with the fabric rubbing against your flesh. The air was thick with humidity, and you could feel the moisture clinging to your skin, making you feel sticky and uncomfortable. You glanced around at the other people around you, all of them appeared to be struggling in the heat, with their foreheads glistening with sweat and their breathing labored.
As you looked over at Daryl, you couldn't help but notice the solemn expression on his face as he kept his eyes fixed on the ground. It was clear that he had been struggling to come to terms with Carol's sudden disappearance, and had been much more withdrawn and reserved than usual. He seemed to be lost in thought, lost in his own world, and it was hard to know how to reach out to him.
"Right here," Rick spoke as he brought the group out to a small clearing that was surrounded by trees, briefly scanning the area before crouching down in the dirt and beginning to frantically dig.
Abraham scoffed, "Tha' hell are we still around here for?" taking a few steps forward as he analyzed and addressed Rick, watching the man pull out a blue duffel bag.
"Guns. Some supplies," He said bluntly, pulling the black zipper back and further exposing the bag's contents, multiple guns, and other hand-held weapons. "We go along the fences, use the rifles, and take out the rest of 'em."
"What?" Glenn gawked, staring at Rick in disbelief as he listened to the words spewing out his mouth, bouncing around uncomfortably in his head.
Rick started to pull out the variety of weapons one by one, not once turning to meet Glenn's gaze. "They don't get to live."
The latter pursed his lips and huffed, stepping closer to Rick as to get his attention. "Rick, we got out. It's over."
"It's not over till they're all dead." Rick growled, shaking his head.
"They are dead. That place is on fucking fire, crawling with walkers in every which way." Rosita spat, laughing in annoyance at Rick's stupidity.
You shake your head as Rick continued to pull items out of the bag, "We got lucky back there," you said, voice low and trembling. "It's not worth risking our lives by going back in" your eyes meeting Rick's in a plea for him to understand. "God doesn't always give us a second chance. Just play the hand you were dealt" The thought of going back into that walker-infested place made your skin crawl, and you couldn't understand why Rick was wasting his time.
"Does he think he could give me one?" A familiar voice spoke softly from behind your group, faces lighting up in surprise and joy as Carol lightly stepped through the forest, appearing from behind a tree with her signature smile tugging at her lips, stretching all the way up to her ears when all of Daryl's weight barreled into her frame, almost knocking her straight onto her ass with a shocked laugh.
Her unexpected appearance managed to lift the once extremely heavy atmosphere, now bright and bubbly as it was filled with smiles.
"Did you do that?" Rick questioned once it was his turn to hug Carol, not getting a verbal response but the cheeky smile painting her blood-covered face was more than telling. However, it didn't last long once she scanned over the entirety of the group. "You have to come with me."
Carol led the group through the forest and down the train tracks until reaching a small cabin hidden in the trees where Tyrese and sweet little Judith had been holed up waiting for her return, everyone watching as Sasha, Rick, and Carl sprinted towards them, each cradling their respective loved one. It was another emotional yet much-needed heartfelt reunion, especially considering that the last few weeks had been nothing but hell in a handbasket.
"We should get moving, the fire's still burning" The grey-haired woman suggested as she gave the tall, rising black smoke one last look over.
"Yeah. We need to go" Rick nodded as he took stared at the smoke, an unreadable expression on his face and in his eyes.
Daryl huffed slightly, "Yeah, but where?" glancing around the remote area.
"Doesn't matter. Somewhere far away from there."
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It had been a long few days since the group had gotten somewhere far away from there, and a long few days since anyone had anything to eat. Stomachs were empty and energy seemed to only be decreasing, the hunger gnawing away at all of you.
As the sun slowly began to rise above the horizon, Daryl quietly made his way into the dense forest in search of something to eat. It was quiet, and peaceful as he gingerly and skillfully walked through the mess of vines and roots at his feet, blue eyes scanning the dirt floor for any sign of movement that might indicate the presence of an animal.
Oddly enough, it felt like he wasn't necessarily alone in these woods, glancing around and over his shoulder more than he typically would. Maybe it was just a nearby walker he could sense before he could see, but he knew way better than to believe something like that. His gut told him that there was someone else out here, and Daryl learned to always listen to his gut.
He instinctively raised his crossbow to be eye level, scanning the treeline as he took careful and quiet steps, moving from the west to the north and then east. There was a slight breeze that ruffled the leaves, tousled dark hair in his face, and flowed a dirty white skirt from a few feet from him, a tiny but audible gasp heard.
It had come from behind a thick collection of bushes, Daryl carefully combing them out of the way with one hand and ducking to prevent anything from getting in his eye. He had a tight grip on his crossbow, ready for whatever potential danger could be on the other side.
Luckily for him though, there was no danger. It was just you, the weird and off-putting Greene who had somehow turned into a new interest for Daryl, not quite being able to put his finger on just what it was that drew him towards you.
You were a quiet, soft but strange Christian girl, much different than Maggie and Beth. Unlike them, you seemed to have some kind of spiritual connection to the bible, a deeper understanding of it that often made others feel oddly safe around you, as if you truly did have God protecting you.
Funny enough, it reminded Daryl of when his parents would drag him to the southern church, forcing him into the small confession box where he would sit and sob for hours, silently begging for God to come save him.
He could hear you softly murmuring something, but the full words didn't entirely reach his ears. You were kneeling in front of a large moss-covered log, hands clasped together with your head down, looking up every so often. He watched how every time you leaned back, your hair fluttered back and fell back into position.
Not wanting to be creepy, he decided to come out from where he had been hiding, a little taken aback when you seemed to not be bothered, as if you had already known he wasn't any sort of threat.
"Hell ya' doin' out here girl?" Daryl grumbled out, standing a few feet behind you. He watched as you repeated the motion with your head a few more times, eventually pushing yourself up off your knees.
You knocked the gathered leaves and a few bugs off your skirt, smiling at him softly. "Prayer. I come out here every mornin' for it"
He scoffed slightly, glancing down at the ground as he rolled a rock under his shoe. "Why bother? Not like s'gon get heard anyway"
“Yeah? We’ll see. I prayed we find a safe place today” You said as you brushed some hair our your mouth, wind starting to pick up in speed.
Daryl hummed, “Pray we also find some food?” flipping his own hair out his face.
“Of course,” You laughed slightly, airy and light. “But with you out here I think that’ll be answered”
The man scoffed again, this time ducking his head at your words. “Yeah right” He mumbled out.
“I mean it. Look, there’s a squirrel in that tree” You point to a nearby oak tree and Daryl follows your finger, pulling the trigger of his crossbow faster than you could even fathom.
The squirrel hit the ground, Daryl stepped over a few roots and bushes to pick it up, pulling the arrow out and tossing the carcass over his shoulder.
“Good eye girly. C’mon, guess yer God is gon help ya’ help feed us” He glanced at you from over his clear shoulder, motioning for you to follow him with a short nod of the head.
You followed as he walked through the thick mess of bushes, the green leaves staining your cowgirl boots as you stepped on them. The birds chirped loudly above head as the sun got higher and higher in the sky, the air starting to increase in temperature.
It was quite a nice walk through the forest regardless of the heat, Daryl making for much better company than you expected even though he didn't have much to say. You filled the silence by humming softly to yourself, staying a few feet behind and looking around the wooded terrain, keeping an eye out for animals and walkers.
Daryl paused for a moment, holding up a finger and then positioning his crossbow again. The weapon fired, and you watched as it struck another squirrel, this time pinning it against a tree.
He yanked the arrow out, sliding it back into the holder on the front of his bow and tossing the second squirrel over his shoulder.
"Need'ta get at least five," He said as he continued walking, glancing at you again from over his other shoulder just to make sure you were still there.
You scoffed slightly at his words. "Five?" You repeated, staring at the angel wings on the back of his vest.
Daryl nodded, peering up into the trees and looking around on the ground. "Yeah. Got a lotta people to feed"
"And you think five is the lucky number?" You joke lightly, a small smile tugging your lips as you stay hot on his heels.
He shrugged, squirrels bouncing with the motion. "Dunno. Depends on how many ya prayed for"
"Well, if you told me, I would've prayed for at least ten" You appeared at his side and bumped his arm with yours, his gaze meeting yours for only a split second before you were suddenly startled by Rick and Glenn's out-of-nowhere appearances.
They pointed their guns at both of you, and you put your hands up to show you weren't a threat. "Jus' catchin' some breakfast," Daryl said as he dropped his arms and nodded at Glenn in greetings.
"Ready to get some concrete under your feet?" Rick asked him as the four of you began to make your way out of the forest and back to the rest of the group, the day only getting hotter and hotter. "I think it's time."
Daryl hummed, a thin layer of sweat starting to form on his forehead. "That is sweet music to my ears, Officer."
"We take the next road we come to, try to get back to going north 'till we find a vehicle." Rick gestured slightly with his hand, gun still in his grip just in case.
You all stepped up the steep hill leading back to the road where the group had decided to set up a temporary camp for the night.
Rick meet Daryl's eyes, placing a hand on his squirrel-less shoulder. "Good?"
"Good"
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"–And Father God, I once again call upon you to ask for a blessing, a miracle, an answer. You've got me so far, this group, I ask, will you continue to do so? Will you bestow us a safe place? A home?"
Back on the road once again. It was hot as the group ventured forward, worn down shoes and boots slapping against the burning pavement as you all conversed amount yourselves and entertained one another, Michonne and Carl in some form of competition while you lingered behind, Daryl nearby just in case a walker somehow nabbed you.
He silently listened to the soft whispering of your voice, the gentle lull you used as you spoke your prayers, walking with your head down and the palms of your hands facing towards the sky, almost reaching out in a sense.
There was a few questions lingering on his tongue, but growing up in the southern church Daryl had learned not to ask questions until after prayer. Hell, he had learned not to ask questions period.
Daryl only watched you out the corner of his eye, your plush lips moving slightly as you murmured. There was just something about you that was captivating, the fact that you were almost a mixture of Beth's sweet and softness, Maggie's stern and stubbornness, it made him curious to know what the third mysterious Greene had to offer.
"Amen" You mumbled a little louder than intended, clasping your hands together as you finished and concluded your prayer. You brushed some hair out your face when you lifted your head, catching a glimpse at Daryl's watchful eye.
He looked away when your gaze met his, furrowing your brow slightly with a small and playful smile. "What?" You appeared closer to his side and purposely bumped into him, watching how he staggered a little in his pace.
"Nothin'. Jus' hot as hell out here" Daryl shrugged slightly, sweat rolling down his face and back.
You hummed softly, "Hell is a lot hotter than this, but it is super hot. Just wish we could find a river or something" fanning your legs with the loose fabric of your skirt.
Daryl glanced at you, eyes dropping the flowing motion of the fabric. "Tryna' go swimmin'?" He questioned, because a dip in the cool river didn't sound that bad at all
"We weren't really allowed growing up, swimsuits were always super revealin' so we just stayed inside most summers" You shrugged, a tiny smile on your lips as you recalled past memories with your sisters, even if it was just sitting inside trashing the kitchen. "We weren't even allowed to wear shorts that didn't stop at the knees"
It made sense, ever since the farm you, Beth, and Maggie had always been more modestly dressed then the rest, never wearing something too short even if it was the only option.
But even then, as long as your skirt as, Daryl still couldn't help himself from picturing the entirety of your bare legs, a shiver coursing through him as he tried to wipe the image away as quickly as it had come. You were sweet, almost too sweet for him. He was damaged and tainted, you were pure and holy.
"My moms used'ta watch me 'nd m'brother when we went to the river behind our house 'cause I ain't know how'ta swim as a kid" Daryl forced himself to say, tearing his eyes away from the dingy fabric and looking anywhere that just wasn't where you were.
Of course, it wasn't it that easy, especially when you giggled at his sentence which almost caused him whiplash from how hard he snapped his neck at you.
"Sorry, sorry. Just– You didn't know how to swim? Even I can swim" You covered your mouth as you spoke through your laughter, cheeks starting to hurt a little from how hard you were smiling.
Daryl scoffed, the sound of your giggles being music to his ears. "Laugh it up girly. Won't be funny when I throw ya' in a river"
You did laugh even harder at that, maybe because you knew it might be true. "It'll be hilarious! Even more because you'll be the one finding me a new outfit"
"Jus' a little water. S'not like yer damn skirt s'gon wash away" Daryl rolled his eyes, watching as you fake a look of offense.
"How do you know that? It just might! Then you'd have to cover me up" You folded your arms over your chest, quirking a brow at the older man as he glanced you up and down.
"Maybe I don' want to" He mumbled with a short shrug of his mouth
"What do you want?" You asked with a small tilt of your head.
Daryl's lips moved way faster then his brain, and he found himself suddenly muttering out "Wanna see wha's under tha' pretty dress"
You stared at him for a little, and he wished he could just bury an arrow in his head now, but then you chuckled a bit, nudging his arm with yours. "That's a sin, Daryl"
The two of you fell silent, your words lingering in Daryl's mind as he focused his gaze down on the floor, his ears perking slightly when they caught the gentle sound of your humming, some kind of song that he had surely never heard before.
He didn't wanna admit that your voice was soothing and melodic, it almost reminded him of his mother when she would cradle his trembling body in her arms, bruised and bloodied as the soft vibrations of her humming buzzed through him, comforting him as he softly sniffled into her chest, clutching onto her shirt and wondering what it was that made him so undeserving of God's–
"Help!"
The scream of terror rang out from the forest to the woods, and you all looked around at each other as your movements halted, everyone turning in the direction they thought the cry had come from with their weapons drawn, you subconsciously inching closer to Daryl for safety.
"Help, anybody! Help!" The cries came again, this time audibly and undeniably from the left side of the trees.
Rick nodded his head, gun drawn and pointed as he dashed off the road and into the forest, the group all following closely behind as the screams and pleads for help didn't cease, getting louder and closer which drew the attention of nearby walkers, having to dodge and take out any that got too close.
"Anyone, help! Help!"
As you all sprinted deeper into the trees, the sound of snarling and clicking teeth began to mix and become more audible, eventually leading the group out into a green clearing where there was a... pastor cowering ontop of a large stone rock, slipping off and making a half-ass attempt at kicking the walkers.
There weren't that many walkers, but it was still enough to where Rick felt firing his gun was necessary. The gunshots rang out through the forest, and you covered your ears at the loud noise, wincing slightly as it bounced around uncomfortably in your head.
Daryl took out the last straggler with a hard stab of his knife, wiping the thick blood off his blade on his pants before he slid it back in his holster, appearing at your side as he analyzed the pained expression on your face.
"Ya' alrigh'?" He murmered softly, hands hovering over your face but not quiet touching it, almost as if he was restraining himself.
You nodded, uncovering your ears and glancing at the pastor on the top of the rock, Daryl and everyone else following your gaze.
He whimpered softly and quietly from where he sat, eyes frantically darting between the all of you as if you all were the threat.
"Come on down." Rick said in a loud, stern voice, taking a few steps forward in front as the group took a few steps back.
The man rolled on his stomach and awkwardly wormed his way down grunting slightly and crying out when he slipped the rest of the way and landed on his ass.
A few giggles erupted from you and Maggie, stifling your laughter in the same way you've both always done by simply turning your heads away from the source of humor.
Rick didn't seem too entertained though, glancing the man up and down when he stumbled to his feet and dusted himself off. "You okay?" He raised a brow, emotion unmoving and flat.
"Sorry. Yes, thank you. I-I'm Gabriel." He stammered out, his lips pulling themselves into a small an nervous smile.
"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick titled his head as he asked condescendingly, taking another step closer to 'Gabriel.'
The man in question chuckled slightly. "Do I look like I would have any weapons?"
"We don't give a rats flying fucking ass what it looks like." Abraham barked out, and you could only nod your head in agreement.
Gabriel mumbled out some kind of understanding before he put on his best brave face. "I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need"
At that you scoffed, covering your mouth in a fake apology. "Oh sorry, just that, didn't really look like God was protecting you now was he?"
Gabriel smiled nervously and awkwardly at your words, his eyes taking in your attire and the sparkly cross around your neck. "Well, he led a woman of your nurture here, so that must mean something right?"
"Oh of course. It means that you have something we want" You spoke softly, yet your tone was oddly dark. It somehow flipped the aura surrounding the group, replacing it with a heavy presence that just couldn't be explained.
"I-I have nothing to offer. Whatever food I- I had left, it just hit the ground." He glanced down at the ruin pile of whatever it was he had.
Carl stepped forward, fishing something out his pocket and holding it out to the pastor. "We've got some pecans, sorry if you're allergic" He partially joked, taking a step back and behind his dad.
Gabriel thanked him, dumping a few into his mouth and chewing. Judith cooed sweetly from where she rested against Beth, the mans eyes softening as he spotted her. "That's a beautiful child," He said, glancing around at just how many of you there were. "D- Do you have a camp?"
"No. Do you?" Rick asked without hesitation.
"I have a church." Gabriel mumbled, and your ears perked up at the sound of that. Daryl also noted the way your face lit up, while his twisted in distain.
Rick stuck his gun in the waist band of his jeans, aggressively grabbing Gabriel. "Hold your hands above your head."
"How many walkers have you killed?" He questioned, roughly patting the man down in search for any weapons.
"Not any, actually." Gabriel answered nervously.
"Turn around." Rick commanded and he spun the man, continuing his thorough search. "How many people have you killed?"
"None." Gabriel said as Rick spun him back around, narrowing sharp, quizzical blue eyes at him.
"Why?" He almost hissed the words out, whispering them out through the skin of his teeth.
Gabriel was silent for a moment, glancing at all of you before back at Rick. "Because the Lord abhors violence."
"We've all done something, we were all born as sinners. Nobody's perfectly pure." You spoke up from where you stood behind Daryl, shaking your head slightly. Daryl could argue with your words that you were the most perfect damn thing he’s seen, but he forced himself to keep his mouth shut instead. You were pure and holy, he was damaged and tainted.
He looked at you, slightly taken aback. Rick finished his search by nodding in confirmation that he was clear, taking a step back from Gabriel but not too far.
"I sin almost every day," He murmured out after a moment, scanning you all once more before his lips shifted into another small nervous smile. "But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers."
"You said you had a church?"
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You sat outside on the church step with all the other women, plus Gabriel, while all the guys stormed inside to do a thorough search of the building, in search of any weapons or any other people. Although Gabe claimed it was just him and himself, Rick didn't believe him and didn't want to take any risks.
It was quite peaceful, birds chirping above with a slight breeze that brought a little bit of cooling relief from the burning sun. Judith cooed softly in Beth's lap, shaded from the sun courtesy of Carl's hat, too big to properly fit her head but big enough to cover her body.
"I spent months here without stepping out the front door." Gabriel's voice cut through the blissful silence, and you tried not to shoot him an irritated glare. Rick came out first, followed by Daryl and then Glenn. "If you found someone inside, well, it would have been surprising."
"We found a short bus out back." Rick said, hands on his hips as he squinted from the harsh glare of the sun. “Nothing else besides that. I think we can settle down here for a minute”
“Shit ain’t settled ‘till we get Eugene’s ass to Washington” Abraham’s voice barked from behind the man, Eugene and Rosita following suit.
Daryl stood on the step above yours, and you turned to smile softly at him as his large frame blocked the scorching light of the sun from spilling down onto you.
He scowled in response, but only because he didn't wanna make his cheeks any more red than they already were. He turned his head away and decided to just blame the burning sensation on the Georgia heat.
Rick shrugged his shoulders as he dismissed Abraham. "Yeah, well, people are exhausted. This place has four walls and a roof. Safe. In other words, we're staying here."
"Sounds pretty good to me, I've slept inside a chapel before," You said as you twisted your head to look at Rick, glancing inside the church to get a glimpse at the size inside. "Plus we can all fit in there, so why not? We could even do our own version of 'The Last Supper' but with squirrel meat" You added, gesturing towards the string of squirrels Daryl had managed to catch on the journey here.
"That kinda does sound good" Beth smiled as she bounced Judith on her leg, the thought of eating meat making her really hungry. "And we can have a bonfire! It'll be even better 'cause we won't have to sleep outside after we put it out" She gasped slightly when the idea crossed her mind, sitting up a little straighter as she talked about it.
Maggie smiled softly at the two of you as you both made light of the situation, grateful that you had always been able to see the bright side of things and just simply brush things off, sometimes falling and scraping your knee but getting right back up to walk it off.
Out of the three of them, you had always had a much stronger connection to God even as a child, sometimes walking right out of Sunday school because you claimed the teacher "silenced" his voice. Growing up, you only continued to believe more and more, so much to the point that it almost worried Maggie, like you could always see something that she couldn't.
There were times when she found herself a bit envious of you, especially when you both had reached your teen years, Maggie starting to take a dive at rebellion and you still as perfectly holy as you had been at age five, wardrobe consisting of nothing but your pristine white clothes, and the same faded white cowgirl boots daddy had bought for you a decade ago on Christmas. He had gotten you all a pair to wear around the farm when dealing and riding with the horses, you and Beth wearing yours down to absolute hell.
By the time you were both in your early twenties, petty rivalry put aside years later replaced by constant gossip and the latest guy Maggie was going out with, she realized that there was no reason to envy you, because she didn't wanna be you. You were pure, holy, and kept yourself high within your faith, studying the Bible in a way that she sometimes couldn't even wrap her head around.
"We need supplies, no matter what we do next" Rick spoke up as he glanced around at everyone, watching Beth pass over Judith to you to sit in the shade Daryl provided.
Glenn nodded in agreement. "That's right. Food, water, ammunition, anything we can find"
You quirked a brow at Gabriel, glancing him up and down. "How'd you survive here for so long?"
He jumped slightly at the sound of your voice and stuttered as all eyes landed on him. "W- Well, I had God protecting me"
"No, you didn't. God doesn't protect, he watches" You rolled your eyes at him, as if this wasn't common knowledge.
Gabriel was taken aback by your response, mouth slightly agape as he scrambled to find a different answer. "Our annual canned food drive, things fell apart right after we finished-"
"That's great 'nd all, but Rick, seriously, we're gon' get heatstroke s sittin' out here in the boilin' sun" Maggie cut the man off, fanning herself with both her hands even as she was pressed up against your side, trying to hog the shade that you were already sharing with Beth and Jude.
Carol nodded her head in agreement, also dripping in sweat. "Yeah. You said it was safe, so why aren't we inside yet?" She gestured to the church.
"Alright, alright. Everyone inside. Let's cool off and rest our feet. We can discuss what's next later." Rick nodded and propped the church door open so that the group could easily fit through with all their stuff and guns, loud clattering as these things were dropped on the floor.
You followed after Maggie as she helped Glenn haul a bag inside, holding Judith on your hip as she sucked on her tiny fist. The way you held her almost looked natural, as if she was your very own. Daryl tried to pry his eyes away, but he just couldn't. He was drawn to you in a way he couldn't understand.
It bothered him in a way, the world had ended and you treated every day as if it was just an average day, as if dead people walking around was nothing more but an inconvenience. You were a carefree and buoyant spirit, as if your mind was consistently clear and levelheaded.
But it also intrigued him, how somehow someway in a world plagued with darkness that forces people to be tough and hard, you still manage to be soft and dainty, as if the plague hadn't even touched you once.
There was a combination of walker blood and mud splattered all across your white dress, some of it on your sleeves and your face, yet it didn't make you look any less tender, especially now as you seemed to sit cozily in the nave of the church, bouncing Judith on your leg as you softly hummed her a song.
Inside the church was fairly big, the back of it containing a few large offices that Rick deemed the safest the camp out in for the night, explaining that the doors had locks and that if someone were to break in everyone would hear and have plenty of time to wake up, claiming that everyone could sneak out the back door or just fight if need.
"The food lasted a long time," Gabriel said once the large wooden door creaked shut, other members of the group finding a place to settle down. "And then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out every place nearby, except for one."
"What kept you from it?" Rick questioned.
Gabe shrugged. "It's overrun."
"How many?" Glenn pipped in from against a wall.
Gabriel slightly tilted his head in thought. "A dozen or so? Maybe more."
Rick scoffed, hands on his hips as he stared at the man. "We can handle a dozen."
"Bob and I will go with you," Michonne said calmly as she stepped forward. "Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe."
"That'll be okay?" Rick glanced over to the man in question, who nodded his head.
"You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I'm right here" Tyreese said with a small smile.
The corner of Rick's mouth slightly quipped upward in a tiny smirk. "I'm grateful for it."
"I'll draw you a map–" Gabriel spoke up but was quickly cut off, "–You don't need to, you're coming with us." by Rick who shot him down with a cold icy glare.
It caught Gabriel off-guard and made his anxiety go through the roof. "I– I'm not gonna be of any help, you saw me up on that rock, I'm no good around those things." He stammered, trying to plead his case nervously under Rick's burning gaze.
"You're coming with us."
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The sun had set long ago, and the inside of the church was lit up with a warm candle ambiance that fueled that lighthearted mood, everyone in the group chattering and laughing with one another for the first time in what felt like years.
"I'd like to propose a toast." Abraham loudly announced over everyone and all conversations ceased as the ginger easily captured all eyes in the room, raising his glass of wine that Gabriel had pulled from his own office.
"When I look around this room... all I can see is survivors." He said, scanning his eyes over the nave and everyone inside. "Each and every damn one of you has earned that title."
Abraham was silent for a moment, giving the room one last glance over before tipping his glass. "To the survivors."
"Survivors! Cheers!" You all said in unison, raising your glasses and clinking it against the person beside you, the church erupting back into its previous laughter as everyone resumed drinking and enjoying the night.
You scooted your way over to Daryl who was sat in a corner, purposely getting in his space and holding out your glass to him. "Survivors." You mumbled, a tiny smile tugging at your lips.
He glanced at you, a faraway expression on his face as he raised his glass to yours, mumbling out a soft,"Survivors" that was only loud enough for the both of you to hear.
"Now," Abraham said out loud once again, all eyes falling on him. "We get Eugene to Washington, and he will make the dead die, and the living will have this world again." He took a swing of his drink, raising his pinky. "And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip."
From where Judith sat snuggly in Rick's lap, she cooed and fisted some of his shirts in her small hands.
"Eugene, what's in DC?" The ginger questioned, all eyes now falling on the scientist for the answer.
He took a moment, clearing his throat before he spoke in his usual flat and unwavering tone of voice. "Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude, that means food, fuel, refuge."
"Restart," Abraham concluded, Eugene giving a short and curt nod at the response. "However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started."
"Save the world for that little one, save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there, who don't got' nothin' left to do except survive." Abraham spoke, his words of encouragement ringing out through the church's walls.
Judith cooed loudly as she squirmed in Rick's lap, and he smiled at her as he readjusted his grip on her tiny torso. "I think she knows what I'm about to say," Rick joked, managing a few laughs from people. "If she's in, then I'm in too."
"We're all in" Carol interjected, smiles spreading across everyone's faces as conversations and laughter began to fill the room again, people started to celebrate by drinking, clapping, and cheering, the energy in the room upbeat and positive. "Let's do it!" Abraham exclaimed, clearly now tipsier than everyone else as he raised his almost empty glass in the air one more time.
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The once warm and cozy atmosphere that the church had inside during the earlier activities had been snuffed out long ago, leaving a cold and empty feeling inside the nave.
It wasn't literally cold, or maybe it was just the cigarette that was keeping Daryl warm, taking long drags from the small stick every minute or so. He couldn't be bothered to go all the way outside, and the natural glow of the moon seeping into the room was more than enough.
Plus, it's not like he was alone, considering that you were sitting in the aisle over from him with your head down.
It had been just the two of you in pure silence for about thirty minutes, and Daryl had only been staring at you for twenty. He tried not to, he really did, but it was hard for his eyes to peel away from the way your dress reflected the light, hands neatly folded together in your lap as hair spilled down your shoulders.
Because of the wine from earlier, there was a slight buzz that ran through Daryl's nerves that somehow encouraged him to stop staring and stand, making his way over to where you were sitting.
"Smoking is a sin, and so is interrupting my prayer," You said once he was sat a few inches from you, not even glancing up at him once.
Daryl let out a tiny scoff, taking another drag from his cigarette. "Yeah, well, s'gon fall on deaf ears anyway"
"Do you not believe in God?" You asked as you blinked your eyes, now turning your head to look at him with genuine curiosity etched on your features.
The man shook his head. "Ain't ever believed in no God," he said, pulling another hit and speaking around it. "Hell, ain't ever believed in nobody"
You sighed a little, leaning back against the bench. "God believes in you"
Daryl scoffed a lot louder at that. "Don' even believe in m'self"
"Well, I believe in you," You said with a shrug, scooting a bit closer to him to bump him with your elbow.
He grumbled as he bumped you back, more so pushing as he held his cigarette between his teeth. "Wha' else ya' believe in? Sandy Clause?"
You let out a small giggle at his butchered version of the fictional character. "Santa, and no, I don't. But I do believe that this is the next world though."
"Why? We ain't dead yet" Daryl analyzed you from the corner of his eyes.
You shook your head, "No, we're not. We never have been. Don't you see? This, this is the resurrection" waving your hands around for emphasis.
"I thought everyone was s'pposed ta' disappear or some shit?" He questioned and you rolled your eyes at him. "Oh come on, I thought you didn't believe in stuff like that. Did you also think that Jesus was gonna fly down from the sky and save us all?"
Daryl huffed as he took a long drag, getting more toward the last few puffs of his cigarette as he raised a brow at you. "Ain't that tha' whole point?"
"That's what people want you to think. They always talk about the resurrection and how Jesus will come back from the dead to save humanity from its wrongdoings, which is exactly what's happening now"
"Tha' hell ya' tryna' say, girl?"
"That God has a plan. He wants the world to be pure again, he wants us to be pure again"
At your words, Daryl scoffed, taking a long and final drag of his cigarette. "Well, m'not very pure unlike yerself" He said as he stomped out the butt of the remaining stick, crushing it under a muddy a boot.
"You're tainted, and its okay. No need to be envious of my non-sinning streak" You jokingly said, flipping your hair which got a tiny chuckle out the older man.
"Now I definitely don' believe ya' ain't ever committed no sin" He said, shaking his head.
You had a small smile playing at your lips, shrugging both shoulders as you looked at him. "I mean, technically walkers aren't people, so I don't really think I've killed anyone"
"Steal anythin'?"
"Thou shall not steal, Daryl. Plus, looting stores is only against the law"
"Well, everyone's told a lie"
"Oh, I'd never lie. The truth will set you free"
Daryl frowned at your words. "Yer startin' ta' piss me off, girl"
"I'm just not a sinner, Daryl. I was raised inside a church, so I spent all my time studying the bible and asking God questions." You said with a sigh, thinking back to when you were still a little girl.
"Wha' kinda questions?" Daryl asked, and you turned once again to meet his gaze.
"Well," You started, taking a moment to think before glancing back up at him. "I've always wondered if you commit a sin inside a church, if it still counts as a sin"
"How would ya' know?"
You shrugged. "I don't, I've never really had any sin to commit"
Daryl hummed, eyes flickering down to your plush lips, tracing the shape of them a few times before shifting his gaze back up to meet your eyes. "Lust is a sin"
"Now that's just unholy, Daryl" You scoffed at him, crossing your arms and turning your head away to hide the heat that rose to your cheeks, because lust was indeed a sin. "It's extremely important to save yourself for the person you're gonna marry. Sex is an emotional gift"
The man furrowed his brows, "How do ya' know tha' if ya' ain't ever fucked?" suppressing the shiver that ran through him at his own words.
Something dark twisted and turned in his stomach just thinking about the idea that you were just as pure as the day that you were born, and he tried not to think about the wildly dirty things he wanted to do to you that he knew would potentially leave a stain. You had probably never even thought of doing something like that, let alone with someone of his nature.
But you had, and you were right now, nervously and subconsciously squeezing your thighs together the more self-aware you started to feel within the older man's presence, feeling his eyes traveling over the length of your body. "I told you, I studied the bible. Sex is the connection of two people who are bound to one another for life, aka being married of course"
"Sex could also just be sex," Daryl shrugged, his brows unmoving as your words confusingly rang out in his ears. "Ain't much of a difference is there?"
You sighed, shaking your head at him. "Of course there is silly. When you're married, sex is a form of art and beauty, as well as conception. God intends for us to use our bodies as a way to communicate with our partner. Any other time, sex is just a form of escape and pleasure, abusing the gift that God has given us in a sinful way, or as you know, lust"
Daryl hummed as you simplified the words for him in a way that he still didn't necessarily understand, but he just decided to pretend like he did. "Ya' ain't ever go through hormones growin' up?"
"Are you asking if I get horny?" You let out a tiny giggle at how his eyes snapped to yours at the blunt question, his cheeks starting to tint pink as he grumbled and looked away. You laughed and wrapped your hands around his forearm, pulling at the man and trying to get him to look at you. "Don't get embarrassed! Are you?"
Unknowingly, you had instead pulled yourself a lot closer to Daryl, and when he twisted his head back in your direction, you were both face to face, noses almost touching.
Daryl stopped breathing for a few seconds as your doe eyes stared up at him, flickering down to where your fingers gripped what you now realized was his very muscular forearm. Sitting this close to him under his burning blue gaze made you feel a bit small, and made a funny feeling form in your lower stomach.
His own eyes flickered back down to your lips, finding himself using his other hand to brush some hair out of your face, curling his fingers at the back of your hand and cupping your cheek in a big, calloused palm, tracing his thumb over your bottom lip. "Maybe I am"
"This is God's house, Daryl." You muttered in a hushed whisper as you curled your fingers around his arm, trying not to downright melt into the warm touch of his hand.
"Think he's gon' watch us?" He whispered back, and your lower stomach tingled in a way that made your whole core heat up, feeling a mild throbbing sensation coming from your private area as you looked up at the older man, running his thumb over the edge of your jaw.
"I– I don't–" You stammered, shifting your eyes away from his as you found yourself at a loss for words.
"Said ya' always wanted ta' commit a sin inna church, righ'?" Daryl tilted your gaze back to his, stroking your cheek with a gentleness you didn't even know he could muster. "Might as well do the one tha' feels best"
"But I've never done something like this... Will it– Will it hurt?" You said as you searched his eyes, the blue orbs going soft and tender.
"M'not gonna hurt ya' at all sweetheart," He said in a genuine voice, holding your face a little tighter. He couldn't even imagine hurting something as dainty as you, especially not with the way you were looking up at him with curious and innocent eyes. "If anythin' I do hurts, tell me, alrigh'?"
You nodded, the corner of your lips twitching into a smile as it felt like there was an entire butterfly exhibit in your stomach, Daryl learning down into your space and first giving your lips a small peck, before pulling you completely flush by the back of your nape, a shiver running up your spine that went all the way down to your clothed cunt, legs squeezing together as Daryl deepened the kiss, your first and hottest kiss ever.
It made your head light and dizzy, leaving you starstruck and dazed when he pulled away with only a thin trail of saliva connecting your lips, Daryl brushing the skin of your cheek once again as you slowly blinked, still feeling airy from the kiss you just experienced.
"Do that again please" You murmured in a tiny plea, feeling both sets of your lips tingle in excitement at all the new sensations Daryl was showing you.
He pulled you in for a chaste peck, catching your bottom lip between his teeth. "Ya' like tha', pretty girl?" He mumbled the words against you, pressing another kiss to your plush lips and swallowing the tiny moan you let out.
You moved to wrap your arms around the older man's neck, Daryl now taking both his hands and gripping you by your waist, pulling a shocked gasp from you at the way his touch made your cunt ache. He carefully moved you to lay on your back, slotting a thigh between your legs and pressing the denim material against your soaked panties, a noise mixed between embarrassment and need coming from your throat.
It felt so good, and you found yourself trying to rut against Daryl's thigh as he started to kiss and suck at your neck, making you giggle slightly as the skin there was more ticklish than anywhere else. His body was big and warm as it was pressed on top of yours, feeling a pulsating sensation traveling through your nerves as you continued to needily hump his leg, whining softly as you tried to further fuel the feel-good moment you were having.
"Let m'help ya' out doll, jus' leave it all ta' me, gon' make ya feel real good" Daryl spoke the words from the underside of your jaw, kissing his way up to your lips before he leaned back, pulling his thigh back and leaving a hand on your hip, courtesy of your fingers scrambling to curl around his for comfort.
"I'm a bit nervous," You said, avoiding his gaze out of embarrassment as you spoke the words. "What if I mess something up?"
"Tha' ain't gon' happen, m'gon do all tha' work fer ya'" Daryl said as his hands moved down to your thighs, lifting and pulling your legs to circle his waist, a shrill shriek tearing out your throat as your dress started to slip down and pool at your waist.
It left your lower half completely exposed, and it was almost an instinct to drop your hands down to cover your panties, a hot blush painting over as Daryl gripped both your hands in one, moving them away and pinning them to your chest. "Nuh'uh, ya' ain't gonna hide from me, pretty girl"
You whined softly as he released your wrists, ducking his head down to kiss and lick your stomach, causing you to jerk from the wet muscle dragging across your skin. His fingers traveled down past the hem of your undies, pushing them midway down your thighs before sitting back up and lifting one of your thighs, yanking the flimsy blue fabric the rest of the way off and stuffing it in his back pocket, pulling you a bit closer as he licked his lips, eyeing the prettiest pussy he's ever seen.
You weren't exactly sure what to do with your hands, deciding instead to clench the cross around your neck in one and prop yourself up on the other, all this being so new and different, dirty and sinful, that you couldn't help but wanna watch.
Daryl placed a hand on your hip, the other moving to gather spit on his fingers. "Gotta get ya' stretched out so I don' hurt ya'"'
"Is this part gonna hurt? I've only masturbated once, but I was too scared to actually finger myself" You frowned a little, feeling your nerves spike as it started set really just how inexperienced you were.
Daryl leaned down and placed a soft peck to your lips, dipping his fingers into your cunt gently and rubbing the digits up and down your slit, pressing down against your clit and moving in a circular motion, his actions on the bundle of nerves sending shivers sparking up your spine, letting out a moan that was deep in your throat right against the older man's lips.
He let out a low chuckle, adding a second finger to his movement against your clit. "Doesn' hurt now, does it?"
You shook your head, body tingling in a foreign way that almost made you feel like you had been tased but in a good way, not that you've ever been tased before. The rough pads of his fingertips against your clit drove you absolutely crazy, the faster they moved the more you found your hips jerking down in a clumsy attempt to speed up whatever high it was you were riding right now, feeling better than you ever have in your whole life.
"There ya' go beautiful, c'mon, cum on m'fingers" Daryl murmured the words out, quickening his pace as he could feel your legs twitching around him, your whines and whimpers getting louder and louder. He spread your cunt lips apart more which revealed your raw clit more, a few harsh strokes to the small bud before you were biting down on your bottom lip and letting your head fall back, a shaky, pleased cry tearing out your chest as waves of electricity coursed through your entire nervous system.
Rather than pulling his fingers away, Daryl dragged them back down your now much more sensitive slit, this time slipping a single digit past your tight entrance, the feeling foreign and oddly unique. Daryl's finger was a bit bigger than average, so you could feel there was a slight stretch to your virgin hole.
Daryl could feel it too, as well as the way you experimentally clenched and convulsed around his stilled finger, giving you a few minutes to adjust to the new feeling.
When he began to slowly thrust the digit in and out, curling the tip of his finger each time in search of your sweet spot, carefully watching the way your face twisted and contorted.
"Ya' alrigh'?" He asked, starting to brush his thumb against the skin where he was gripping your hip.
You nodded, involuntarily clenching around him. "Yeah, it just feels really funny, maybe I just had my expectations too high," You said as you furrowed your brows, a bit upset that 'fingering' wasn't all you chalked it up to be.
"First finger ain't much, second one might feel 'bit different" Daryl said as he pulled the digit back, this time pushing back into you with both fingers, the stretch and drag of the two digits feeling agreeably more different than just one.
This time Daryl just kept up his steady pace, continuing to thrust and curl his fingers into your cunt, starting to scissor you further open. Your eyes trailed down to follow the movement of his other hand as he released his grip on your hip, beginning to undo the zipper of his jeans and shoving them halfway down, the first and biggest cock you've ever laid eyes on.
Your jaw went a little slack, scrambling to find words as you felt panic boil in your stomach. "That– That's not gonna fit!"
"Calm down doll, I swear yer'gon be jus' fine" Daryl murmured softly, reaching down to reassuringly press his forehead against yours, so close that your eyelashes were almost touching. "Told ya', m'not gonna hurt ya'. S'probably not gon' feel tha' best at first but it gets better, righ'?"
Taking his words into consideration for a minute, you nodded your head against his and let your eyes flutter shut as he placed a chaste kiss to your lips, followed by another, and then the feeling of his fingers slipping out of you.
It left you feeling oddly empty, but there was excitement building up as you watched Daryl spit on his cock, using it as lube as he dragged it up your already slick slit, pressing the tip into your hole and easily pushing past, the stretch of his cock slowly slipping into you a lot more painful than expected, your hands finding his forearms where he gripped your waist and squeezing them tightly, wincing slightly as you dug your nails into his skin.
Daryl caressed the skin of your waist with his thumb, trying his best to ease the discomfort he could see and knew he was causing you. "I know, I know, s'gon be alrigh' gorgeous, yer' alrigh'" He muttered, pulling his hips back and pushing them forward again, repeating the motion in long, deep strokes.
Whatever his method was, it was definitely working, each drag of his cock against your walls feeling better and better, your cunt only getting wetter and wetter which made it so much easier for Daryl to increase his pace, trying his best to restrain himself from completely plowing into you like he had been craving to do for days, weeks now.
He didn't wanna hurt you or go too rough, this was your first time for crying out loud, a sweet christian girl who hadn't even dipped her own fingers inside herself, and here he was, a grumpy tainted man who had somehow managed to stuff himself balls deep into her pure little pussy, hugging his cock in a warm, velvety hold that he just wanted to absolutely ruin.
He watched the way your eyes fluttered, soft moans coming from you as your face seemed to be pleasantly relaxed, the tight and fearful grip you once had on his arms now reduced to a lazy and content hold, fingers squeezed every once in a while when Daryl's cock would bump a rather sensitive nerve. "That actually feels good" You mumbled as a small smile twitched on your lips.
But Daryl knew how he could make it feel even better, and his restraint to hold back from completely plowing into you had run down to nothing, a sharp grunt leaving his throat when he snapped his hips forward, shoving the entirety of his cock into you suddenly.
You let out a surprised squeak at the action, Daryl's hands planting themselves awkwardly but firmly on the church bench, your own moving to keep yourself steady as he ducked his head down to begin sucking your neck, setting a rough and unforgiving pace.
"Oh my fuuuck" You moaned out in a shaky, pleased breath, fingers curling into the wood and your toes curling in your boots. It's like you were dancing on cloud ten, each hard bump of his tip to your cervix making your mouth practically water, sending bolts of lightning licking up your spine.
Daryl groaned into the skin of your neck, sucking and kissing against your pulse as he got lost in the warmth of your cunt. "Got such a perfect fuckin' pussy, love tha' s'all fer me"
You whined and couldn't help but clench around him at his words, a shudder running through you when you felt him start to speed up, pulling tiny moans out of your chest at every thrust.
Daryl muttered in a husky voice right by your ear, "Feels so fuckin' amazin' doll, so damn tight 'nd wet, might fuck ya' fer hours" grabbing you by the hip and pulling you impossibly further in his lap, driving his cock faster and deeper into your body, nailing your tender sweet spot dead on which caused you to let out a high pitch cry, Daryl muffling your sounds with a slow but sloppy kiss.
He slammed his cock right into the sensitive bundle of nerves, each thrust making you feel dizzy and lightheaded, knocking the air out of your lungs but it felt so good you couldn't even care, eyes starting to roll back when Daryl slid a hand down to roughly finger at your clit, the way he was stimulating your whole cunt making the entire room spin, a shaky, needy sob spilling pat your lips as your whole body was drowning in pulsing and throbbing tingles, Daryl placing another kiss to your lips as he only went faster.
"Ya like tha' huh m'lil sinner? Goin' against everythin' ya' stand fer, feels real good don' it?" He groaned the words out against your lips, and you downright whimpered at his words, heart pounding in your ears as he worked your clit, still ramming in and out of you at an animalistic pace. You couldn't think, and the only word you could muster was a small, broken "D-Daryl"
Your hips jerked down to clumsily grind against his fingers and his cock, needily chasing the building high of your second orgasm as it became difficult to keep your volume at a low, moans starting to tear themselves right out your throat.
Daryl reached an arm underneath your back and flipped you into a sitting position, straddling his lap with his fat cock now one hundred percent of the way buried inside you, so deep that you were convinced for a second that he was in your stomach. You draped your arms over his shoulders and muffled a lewd moan into his neck, the first thrust sending him deeper than ever.
He held you flush against him and bunched your dress up with one hand, and squeezed your hip with the other, letting out breathy, heavy moans of his own as he bounced you in his lap, the tight and slick drag of your raw cunt against his throbbing cock straight up addictive.
"So goddamn wet baby, ya' was saving this wet ass lil' pussy fer me huh, lil' devil?" As the man spoke, he sounded extremely winded, with deep and passionate huffs, you couldn't help but convulse around him at his words, a tiny noise leaving your lips as you clung to him tighter, whining as his hand on your hip pulled you even closer against his pelvis. "Fuck, so fuckin' perfect doll"
Only choked-off moans and whimpers came from you, trying to muffle your sounds into Daryl's neck as his cock shifted angles inside, driving himself right into a soft and squishy spot that made you mewl, the man holding you down as he continued to slam into that spot head-on. His thrusts were fast and unforgiving, fucking your cunt almost as if he hated you, but his grip was tight and protective, holding your body against his like he loved you.
Which he did, but he just didn't know how to say it. His only hope being that you could feel it in the way he fucked into you, hips starting to falter slightly as your tight cunt milked his cock, practically sucking him in and making it impossible for him to ever want to pull out.
From the way you had started to tremble and spasm around him, Daryl could tell that your orgasm was getting closer and closer, encouraging him to quicken his pace. “Gonna cum, pretty girl?” He murmured as he moved down to pepper kisses across your cheek.
“Yes! Oh my goodness yes” You moaned as your entire body pulsated, each bump of his tip to your cervix sending you further into bliss. Your arms dropped down and you curled your fingers into his sturdy shoulders for purchase as he relentlessly pounded your twitching pussy, keeping your limp body closely pressed against his.
Daryl could feel the boiling heat of his own orgasm rising in his gut, the wet and warm slide of your cunt against the throbbing pulse of his aching cock pushing him closer and closer to the edge. He hitched your dress up further as he adjusted his grip on you, speeding up his pace even more as he started to chase after his own relief, the squeeze of your soft and squishy walls practically making him drunk.
He groaned as electricity licked and burned through his veins, thoughts flashing and racing through his head. “Let me cum in ya’ doll. Gonna get ya’ nice ‘nd plumped up with a lil’ baby, huh?”
That sent tingles shooting down your spine, clenching down around his thickness at the words each time they rang out in your head. Growing up, all you've ever wanted was to have a sweet little baby of your own, and after unlocking such a world like this you couldn't possibly picture life without Daryl at your side.
"Please, please give me that" You almost whimpered as you trembled against his chest, heart pounding in your chest as a heat burned and built up in your stomach. You jerked your hips and made a clumsy attempt to rut down against him, but he tightened the hold he had on your lower half to stop your movements. "I've got ya' gorgeous, m'gon take care of ya', told ya' m'gon make ya' feel good"
Daryl readjusted his position, moving you to sit up properly and gripping you at the waist, pinning up your dress there as well as he started to bounce you in his lap, downright using your body as a sex toy as he plowed right into your sensitive sweet spot, pulling strained and guttural moans from your chest as you tried your hardest to keep your volume down as to not echo off the church's wall, biting back sobs as your hands found their way to Daryl's chest, fingers curling into the strong flesh as all the digits had a hot buzz to them, lungs suddenly not being able to take in any air as your stomach burned, toes curling in your boots and teeth clenching as a wave of scorching hot pleasure washed over your whole entire body, this time not being able to hold back the loud cry that tore it's way out your throat, uncontrollably convulsing around his cock as he thoroughly fucked you through your orgasm, muffling your pleased moans with a messy kiss.
With the way your now overly sensitive cunt squeezed and roughly gripped his pulsating dick, Daryl wasn't far behind in his orgasm, grunting into your mouth as his hips stuttered inside you, cock twitching eagerly as he pumped his load deep into the warmth of your heat, Daryl slipping his tongue into your mouth and pressing it up against yours.
When he pulled away, you were nothing but a puddle of pure jelly, going limp in his grasp as he wrapped a secure arm around your middle, moving to kiss and suck your neck as he covered you back up by dropping your dress, deciding he wanted to stay wrapped inside you a little longer.
"Are you gonna give me my panties back?" You questioned from where you now rested against his shoulder, eyes following the older mans movement as he flicked his lighter, holding the flame up to a new cigarette.
The tip burned red as he took the first and long drag, blowing the smoke up in the air and holding the cigarette away from you by stretching his arms across the bench, humming softly as if taking a moment to think. "Nah"
You pulled back from his chest and gawked at him. "No? There'll be a sticky mess between my legs in the morning!"
He smirked at you, showing a sliver of his porcelain teeth as he did. "Tha's the point, lil' sinner, yer gonna be feelin' me fer days"
The nickname made you blush, turning your head away from the man as you also considered his words, a part of you wanted to feel and experience it all over again, almost arguably a divine slice of heaven itself, and you wanted to taste it once again.
"Well you should never commit a sin twice" You mumbled instead of your real thoughts, cheeks now starting to heat up from embarrassment and a bit of shame, Daryl's cock still buried inside you as a reminder of what you had just done, a reminder that the purity and sacrality you had been preserving for your future man had been completely stripped by another.
Unless, Daryl was your future man, clenching down around him as he took another drag of his cigarette, placing a hand back over your now-covered hip, traveling up to your waist, and squeezing the flesh there. He wasn't the God-fearing, clear-minded, faithful man you had dreamed about as a little girl. Still, he was the strong, protective, and leaderful man that you had dreamed about as a young woman, the man you dreamed of to provide for you and the home you built for another, to protect and preserve the family he's made.
His hand grazed your jaw, fingers caressing your cheek and tracing over the shape of your lips. With his gentle and soft touch, you could feel each blister and callous formed on his hands, the rough feeling of hard work against your skin causing goosebumps.
"Somethin' bad gon' happen ta' us?" He questioned, talking around an exhale of smoke as he did.
"We'll go to hell, Daryl!" You rolled your eyes at him.
He lazily shrugged a shoulder, staring at you with searching eyes. "We'll go together"
Your mouth gaped at his words, stammering as you struggled to find your own. "W– Well I'd much rather prefer we go to heaven together"
"They not gon' let me in" Daryl scoffed slightly as he spoke.
"Not when you commit sins like lust, Mr. Tainted" You flicked his forehead, and he grumbled swatting your hand away, rubbing the reddening skin.
"Ain't my fault, Mrs. Holy, yer' dress leaves little ta' tha' imagination" He muttered, and your eyes widened at his words.
"Are you– My dress goes to my flipping ankles!" You picked up some of the pooled dingy fabric, tugging on it for emphasis.
Daryl shrugged again at that, his eyes now traveling the length of your body where you sat still in his lap. "Don' matter, ever since I saw tha' pretty lil' face I've wanted ta' see the rest of ya', 'nd I ain't disappointed"
You scoffed in disbelief, turning your head in an attempt to hide the heat rising to your face, speaking in a hushed whisper. "My gosh, you speak such foul words in such a sacred place"
"We jus' fucked" Daryl said bluntly, taking another drag from his cigarette as he watched you snap your neck back to him, mouth slightly agape as you scrambled for words. "Y– Yes. But, that doesn't mean you have to talk like that in God's house"
At that, Daryl's cock twitched inside you, a smirk taking over his lips "Ya' said tha' same thing before m'tongue was down yer' throat"
"Daryl!" You hissed, the man chuckling as he gripped your hip and moved to kiss at your already marked-up neck, the weight of your faith starting to weigh heavy as you felt Daryl's cock hardening to life against your walls. "Fornication is straight up breaking the laws of God. We can't– I can't do this again"
The smell of cigarettes and sex painted the church air as you planted both hands on Daryl's chest, pushing yourself up and slowly off his dick with a restrained groan, turning into a sharp gasp when the elder pulled you back down, flush against him.
"Think fornica-whatever s'allot more than jus' sex, 'cause I don' have a problem makin' ya' mines" Daryl mumbled the words into your hair, holding you to his chest with one arm and stubbing out his cigarette in the wooden bench with the other. "God can't stop me from wantin' ya', can he?"
"He can, if you don't truly want me" You muttered into his shirt, and could feel the rumble of his short laughter through his stomach. "'S'good tha' I've wanted ya' fer a while then"
You sighed as you pushed yourself up to meet his gaze, eyes sharp and focused on yours as you moved. "It's more than just want, marriage is a life-long commitment, spiritual and eternal, it's about your faithfulness and loyalty to the person you love, the person you wanna become one body with, share your body with. That's why it's important to save yourself for marriage, to keep yourself pure and clean for the one you want to share it with"
"Aren't we one righ' now?"
"I– I mean– yes, but n– not in the way God intended for us to be–"
"–Why? 'Cause we ain't married? Pretty stupid if yer' askin' me"
He took your left hand in his, bring it up to his lips and placing soft kisses on your delicate fingers, lips lingering against your ring finger.
"Don' need no God ta' tell m'tha' I do or don' love ya', 'cause I know I do, dammit woman, loved ya' since I met ya' on yer' daddy's farm" Daryl scoffed as he finally spoke his feelings into the air, listening to himself and how ridiculous he sounded.
You listened intently, staring at him with glossy eyes as he spoke, your lips twitching and tugging into a tiny smile.
A provider, a protector, a man, a real man, was what Daryl Dixon was, the type of man that you thought could only ever exist in your head and bible, yet here he was, clinging to you and holding you close to him, pressed tightly against and in you, so tight that it felt like you'd just melt right into him at any second, his heart beating erratically in his chest, so much that you could feel it against the beat of your own heart.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" You whispered, watching how Daryl's eyes shifted away from yours in the embarrassed way that they always did. "Tell me!"
The man grumbled as you grabbed his face and shook his head, forcing his gaze back on you as he pulled your hands away with his, dropping them down to his chest and holding them there. "I didn' think ya'd want someone like me"
"What? Someone unholy?" You tilted your head slightly at him.
He shook his head, fingers squeezing your wrists. "Someone damaged"
"Damaged? You aren't damaged, Daryl. You're just tainted" You furrowed your brows, frowning slightly at his words.
"Ya' always say tha'" He mumbled, and you sighed. "Because there's no other way for me to put it. You're just a corrupted soul, but that doesn't mean you're a bad person"
He stared at you, licking his lips as he looked at your own, his cock twitching back to life again. "Even if I wanna corrupt ya' too?"
"And how exactly would you do that?" You laughed, but couldn't ignore the heat starting to pool in your gut, feeling a familiar buzz in your fingertips as Daryl ran his hands up your thigh, bunching the fabric of your dress all the up past your tits, a sharp gasp leaving your lips as the cold air hit them, the older man pulling you close and popping one of your tender nipples into his mouth, rocking his hips to full hardness. "M'gonna slut ya' out, pretty girl. Gonna turn ya' into my sweet lil' sinner, a little holy fuckdoll"
"I'm not a sex toy" You whined as he dragged his tongue across your boobs, involuntarily clenching around him as you tried to defend yourself, but Daryl laughed lowly as he trailed his lips up to the skin of your neck, kissing his way up to your ear and taking the lobe between his teeth. "Not yet, gorgeous, not yet"
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GUYS. GUYS I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS I SWEAR.
I can't believe its done??? I've snipped so many snippets, cut so much out, stared at it for so long, and now its done (after a few decades) so I hope that everyone who I hyped up for this fic was satisfied and it was everything that I had made it out to be
Anyways this fic wouldn't have even existed without @tylermaxxine the local instigator and chronic coffee chugger
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sleepybugeyes · 7 months ago
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I read through all of Elias/Jonah's dialogue (as you do) plus some relistening and mentions of him, so here's a big list of some fun things and behaviors I noted!
I thought he made a lot of eye puns/jokes, but he only does it once in mag161, however he does enjoy making jokes. "Creativity never was their forte." from mag80, "You want my account? My sworn testimony? My statement?" from 82, "If you die, I’m afraid you probably won’t be able to claim your expenses." in 116 and "I only have two eyes, after all." in 120. no one ever laughs at his jokes only he finds them amusing
His last words telling Jon a sarcastic or mocking "good luck" are mirrored earlier as he also tells Basira good luck the last time he sees her, and Martin, as he's getting arrested
He loves gloating. "I forget how new you all are to this." from mag92, "Coffee is not as good for disguising tastes as you might think." in 98, "She’s hoping that even if I see it coming she’ll still be able to overpower me. She’s wrong, of course," in 102, "A masterpiece, isn’t it?" abt his panopticon in 158 and of course his whole monologue in 160
He does his budgeting on tuesdays and his scheduling on wednesdays
He also likes getting lost in work
in mag40 he makes up proper incompetency (said he didnt know how the fire system works, while he later admits he was actively waiting) just that once, but more so he acts like he doesnt get the full picture (doesnt know whats in the tunnels, whats strange about the institute) or acts too late and apologises (not stepping into jon's stalking behaviour). Which makes me think he is quite fine letting people think less of him but unless he has something to hide hes not actively looking to give the impression
in mag92 elias slides the papers for basira across his desk, but you don't hear him take them out before, meaning he prepared and got ready for this before he called the police
in general he's a very preparing man, Lukas steps in when Elias is arrested so has has control over who'd run it. in mag118 he says he prepared something to hurt martin (my speculation is that he likely has some trauma that could hurt you prepared for any person that could cross him, just in case he needs it). When he gets arrested he has something prepared so he doesnt get killed and ofc s1-4 is preparing Jon for his grand ritual
Elias admits the idea for his ritual kinda fell into place after Getrude didnt do anything about the people's church in march 2015. He shot Getrude and appointed Jon shortly after so "when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you." is pure dramatics as Jon was hired 4 years prior
also he got his ritual in 2018 so he managed to acomplish his life's goal in only 3 years, love his grindset 🔥
We never get a number for how many people Elias has killed in his ritual, the real life millbank has held over 1000 people at once, but id imagine his one panopticon held less than a whole complex
its really interesting to me in mag92 that hes SO sure they all know he's talking to them of his own free will. is he just that dead set on being in control or making sure they take no credit for his confession
there is a clock in Elias' office (but it's only heard in mag98)
He has killed people but Elias is very much not a blood thirsty person. Getrude and Peter are both surprised when he results to that. He's very much just ruthless and does not care, if to get his way he has to kill someone. It doesnt seem like he's ever happy to do so, maybe this is a quirk of being eye aligned and getting rid of any type of knowledge is painful (he does for example never want Tim to die at the Unknowing), or he just finds covering those murders up a hassle
for the Unknowing Elias books them all hotel rooms, how thoughtful
something cute to me that Jon was too good at the Eye that Elias couldnt meet him face to face post coma
In mag158 he implies that even Institute employees not in the archives are tied to it, at least enough that they could suffer or die if it burned down
between finding other people just as tools to watch and discard and saying empathy holds you back he was definitely a very very lonely man
He is a very breathy person. He sounds breathy when he talks. He takes deep breaths to ready himself and before he uses his powers. And he often breathes through his nose before speaking or during pauses
He has said Jon's name 62 times, only twice calling him "Jonathan" and called him archivist 25 times (24 in the mag120 statement, 1 in mag138 and 1 in mag161)(he also kinda calls him The Archive in 160)
other fun amount of words: know (65 times), see (42), martin (35), detective (20), eyes (20) and eye (9), afraid (9) and "bullshit" (1)
its still insane to me they added all of those sound effects of Elias' cuffs in prison, thats something fun to appreciate. It also means its canon he gestures quite a bit!
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leeknow-thoughts · 6 months ago
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୨୧ GLIMPSES OF THE LUSTFUL
𝝑𝝔 cw : blasphemy kink???, churchboy!Jeongin, toys, smut
𝝑𝝔 a/n : the years of my life spent in the Catholic church came in clutch with this fic
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Growing up Catholic had its perks, but its drawbacks as well. The tradwife stereotypes for women along with the general theme of sexual repression.
You had grown up with Jeongin, going to church together and going to the same Catholic school with the boy. Over the years, you had lost your faith, Jeongin however only grew in his faith, it never bothered you, and your lack of faith never bothered him.
Eventually, you both went off to the same college, a few states away, and figured it would be easier to live together. It was easier then having to make new friends and less risky than having complete strangers be your roommates.
"My theology professor is trying to kill me, I think," you joke to Jeongin over dinner.
"How so?"
"Because I'm not religious, and I told him that, and he started like interrogating me, it was weird," you confess, taking a bite of cereal.
"Is he religious?"
"I suppose so, I mean I told him that I was raised Catholic, so he started assuming the worst," you explain.
"Isn't that religious discrimination?"
"I don't know what to call it, but it was weird," you shrug it off.
"Sounds weird, but any whom," Jeongin changes the subject, "tomorrow I'm leaving early to help with this fundraiser at church, so don't be surprised if I'm not here when you wake up tomorrow."
Jeongin's whole weekends revolved around church, whether it was because he was helping plan a youth trip or assisting the nuns or even helping run a fundraiser, he kept busy with the volunteer work. And of course he was also an avid participant in Sunday Mass, communion, and other traditions.
"m'kay," you figure, rubbing your tired eyes, "my mom and dad are coming over tomorrow," you inform him.
"Oh, fun," he retorts sarcastically.
"Yeah, fun," you say in that same sarcastic tone as him.
"D'you need help like hiding anything?" Jeongin asks timidly.
"Hiding anything?" you ask.
"Like," Jeongin blushes, hiding his face in his hands before he speaks, "s-sex stuff."
"Oh, I mean if you wouldn't mind?"
"I just don't want your parents to freak out on you, remember last time?"
How could you forget the last time your parents came over and they accidentally found a condom in your bathroom, immediately going into a five hour long lecture about how they expected better from you and that you needed to go to a confessional to be forgiven for your sins of sexual impurity.
"Yeah, trust me I remember," you chuckle, "that would be nice, I have all that shit in a box, so I'll just give you the box."
You rise up from your seat at the dining table and walk into your room, grabbing the medium sized box from the closet and walking into the living room with it when suddenly, you trip, and the contents of the box spill everywhere.
"Ow, fuck," you groan, clenching your knee, which you hit on the ground.
Jeongin is quick to stand up and rush to your side, helping you up. You watch as his face eventually turns to the spilled contents of the box. "What in the fuck is that?" he questions.
Jeongin never swore. He thought swearing was pointless and made someone sound trashy, but here he was, swearing.
"It's a dildo," you whisper an explaination.
"B-but wh-why does it l-look like that?"
"It's supposed to look like a dragon, like, uhm, dick," you explain with an embarrassed tone.
"That's really weird, I hope you know, also that thing is so like big how does it- how do y- how can it- how-"
"A lot of lube, and a lot more patience," you half-joke.
"And what is this?" Jeongin exclaims as he picks up the rose shaped toy.
"I-it's a clit sucker," you explain as you grab it from him and put the toy back in the box.
"And what are these?" he holds up a pair of nipple clamps.
"Nipple clamps," you inform him.
"Why in the hell would anyone ever use something like that," Jeongin speaks to himself.
"Don't knock em till you try em," you insist.
You take the nipple clamps from his grasp and put them back in the box before Jeongin is picking something else up, "and what is this?"
"It's a butt plug."
"But why does it have a tail? Ew wait this thing has been in your butt!?"
"It's clean!" you exclaim, "it has a tail because- well-well because I just like it I d'know?"
"Weird," Jeongin mumbles as he puts the toy in the box.
"And what is this?" he holds up a flogger.
"A flogger, you hit people with it," you explain as you take it from the boy.
"But wouldn't that hurt?"
"That's kind of the point, Jeongin," you hum, "hold out your arm, it's not as bad as you think it is, I promise."
After a moment of thinking it through, Jeongin holds out his arm, you lightly hit him with the flogger, "oh that isn't bad at all," Jeongin hums.
"Mhm," you nod, placing the flogger back in the box.
"Oh, what's this?" Jeongin holds up a tentacle grinder.
"It's a grinder," you tell him.
"What does it do?" he asks sheepishly.
"Well," you pause, embarrassment creeping onto your face, "you like grind on it, like you grind your clit on it."
"Oh," Jeongin's face falls before putting the grinder back in the box.
"I hope you don't think I'm weird or gross or anything now," you confess to him.
"I-I d'think y-your weird," he promises, "I promise, y-you're not weird for having s-sex. It's n-natural."
"But you don't have sex, so I j-"
"Who said I've never had sex?"
You stare at him blankly, "you-you've..."
"Well like it's not sex but like I've masturbated before," he confesses.
Your lips make an o shape as you nod your head, "oh, th-that's good?"
"That's good!?"
"I d'know what to say! I was just surprised!"
"Well I mean I'm human y-you don't think I'm weird do you?"
"No! Of course not!" you insist.
The silence that passes between the two of you is almost deafening. You glance down and that's when you notice it, the bulge in Jeongin's pants. "Je-Jeongin," you mumble.
"I-I-I should go to my room!"
Just as he's about to get up you grab his wrist, the way he looks at you tells you a thousand words. "Stay," you practically plead with him.
"I-I haven't, I don't know how-" he whimpers under your intense gaze.
"I'll teach you," you reassure him, "anything you want, I'll teach you."
No words are exchanged between the two of you as he leans forward and slams your lips onto his own. He's messy and sloppy and inexperienced. "Calm down," you muse to him, "enjoy this, we have all the time in the world," you reassure him.
You gently cup his jaw with your left hand, your right hand running through his hair, "darling, calm down," you mumble against his eager lips.
"Can't get enough of you, d'you know how many nights I've had to listen to you whining and whimpering and falling apart on these things? Hm?" he groans into a kiss, "how I've beat my cock to the thought of you? D'you know about that?"
"Jeongin," you murmur, melting further and further into the kiss, "thought of you too," you confess.
"Want to watch you," he states, breaking apart from the kiss, "I want to watch you fuck yourself, the way you do at night."
That is how you find yourself naked on your couch, Jeongin watching you intently as you ride one of your dildos. "Hmm, so all you do is ride that toy and think of me? That's pathetic," he scoffs, watching you like he's disinterested, but you can tell from the tent in his pants that he is anything but disinterested.
"And all you do is what? Hm? Stroke your cock?" you remark.
"You know, filthy whores like yourself shouldn't fucking talk," Jeongin stands up and kneels next to you, taking your nipple in his mouth, making you gush around the toy, "recite first Corithians 6:18," he demands.
"J-Jeongin," you whine, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Jeongin is pulling you by your hair, making you look at him, "recite it."
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body," you quote.
"That's it honey, yet here you are, riding this fucking toy every night, thinking of me," Jeongin's words are venom, "don't worry though, I'll make a good girl out of you."
You can only whimper at his filthy words.
And that is what started your little taboo tradition, every Sunday night you'd be face down ass up on Jeongin's bed, getting pounded from behind, and you'd only get to cum if you could recite five Bible verses for him.
Jeongin was definitely no priest but he brought you closer to the pearly gates than any real priest ever could.
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damthosefandoms · 8 days ago
Text
There's death at my door and I swear that it's following me
(ao3 link)
Summary:
“I’m going to finish it,” he says out loud to anyone who might be listening in his empty house. “I swear. I have to for school, anyway. I’m not handing in an unfinished paper.”
There is no response but the sound of Ponyboy’s own breathing.
“It’s not easy to write, Johnny!” he yells. “This is the part where I get you killed, you know!”
Nothing.
Figures he’d be quiet dead, too.
---
Neither of the greasers who died that cold, September night in 1967 had a funeral—Dally had nobody to set one up, except his friends who couldn’t afford it, and they never found out where the cops took him after they killed him anyway. But a month or so after everything ends, they find out Johnny’s mother had him cremated and that she and his father kept his ashes.
Ponyboy is particularly pissed off. Something about Johnny being trapped in that house his whole life, and even now, after death, being kept in a place he hated more than anything else…
“It ain’t right. I…we loved him more than they could ever dream of.”
As the remnants of the gang sit around the Curtises’ kitchen table, defeated, Two-Bit half-heartedly jokes they should steal his ashes. Darry rolls his eyes. Sodapop says that’s horrible. A heartbroken Ponyboy says, “Dally would’ve done it in a heartbeat.”
A week later Darry and Soda wake up to Pony making eggs for breakfast, with a new centerpiece on the table.
“Tell me that is not what I think it is,” Darry mutters, gesturing to the cheap urn.
Pony’s face goes red. “So, uh… this kid Mark at school taught me how to pick locks, and…”
“Ponyboy Michael Curtis!”
“C’mon, Darry, I had to! It was eating me alive. They don’t deserve him! I’ll bet they won’t even notice he’s gone!”
His brothers look at him like he’s finally lost it. Maybe he has, because Mark’s advice had gotten him nowhere, and Pony swears the Cades’ door unlocked on its own last night.
“All Johnny wanted was to get out of Tulsa. The happiest he ever was, was watchin’ the sunset back there on Jay Mountain. I needed to go get him so we could take him there.”
“Ponyboy…”
“I had to. I just had to. If not for Johnny, then for Dally, okay? ‘Cause god knows we couldn’t do anythin’ else for him.”
He’s got a lot of reasons to believe this is what Johnny wanted.
That weekend, the whole gang drives up to the remains of the church, so they all can say goodbye. Ponyboy pours Johnny’s ashes out over the cliffside where they watched the sunset, and if a little bit of dust gets on his hands, well. He stares for a minute before he goes to wash it off at the old water pump.
“You gotta go, Johnny,” he mumbles. “Don’t stick around me. Don’t do that to yourself. Move on.”
He’s always had a weird relationship with death. 
---
Ever since Ponyboy was little, he’d been told he had a strong imagination. His brothers call him a dreamer. His dad used to laugh and say he had his head in the clouds; his Mom said he was just the creative type. He learned pretty fast that no one else saw the things he could see, and he learned even faster not to talk about it. He thinks his brothers never believed him, but they also never forgot.
It’s one of those things where Ponyboy doesn’t see things unless he needs to. He got real good at tuning out the supernatural at a very young age, and it’s not something that comes up in his life very often anyway; death may follow him wherever he goes, it may show up at his door but he does not let it in. He doesn’t know why he’s like this. It’s like there is just something special about him, something he figures he won’t understand until he is much, much older. Or maybe he never will, and he’s just crazy.
The first time death comes to visit, Ponyboy is not feeling well. It’s been a month, it’s almost Halloween, and it is the first time since Johnny and Dally died that he’s sick again. Pony’s got just a low-grade fever, but Darry lets him stay home because that’s for the best. He promises to work on his English assignment.
Darry and Soda head out to work with promises to check up on him during their lunch breaks. He picks up his notebook and flips through it, but he is at the part where he runs into the church to save those kids and he can’t bring himself to pick up the pencil and admit that it was his cigarette. His fault.
His pencil rolls over the edge of the desk. It clatters to the floor and Ponyboy reaches down to get it. When he sits up, Johnny’s ghost is staring at him, pointing at the blank page. 
He blinks and he is alone again, but he can still feel the presence and knows deep down he isn’t. He sits back and groans. He can’t be normal for ten minutes?
“I’m going to finish it,” he says out loud to anyone who might be listening in his empty house. “I swear. I have to for school, anyway. I’m not handing in an unfinished paper.”
There is no response but the sound of Ponyboy’s own breathing. 
“It’s not easy to write, Johnny!” he yells. “This is the part where I get you killed, you know!”
Nothing. 
Figures he’d be quiet dead, too.
But writer’s block grabs him by the throat and doesn’t let go, so Ponyboy picks up his pencil again and begins to doodle on that blank page a picture of his current situation.
He falls asleep at his desk, and when his brothers come home, they find him there, snoring over a picture of himself at his desk, writing in his notebook while Johnny Cade stands watching over his shoulder like some kind of guardian angel.
---
Time passes and school starts up again, and around a year or so after the Windrixville nightmare, Ponyboy announces to his brothers that he’s going to some school dance with a couple of friends. He’s really non-committal about the whole thing, but Soda thinks it’s a good idea, and maybe Pony doesn’t really like the group of guys he’s going with but he knows he has to get out of his comfort zone and this is one way to do that. He promises to be back before curfew, so it’s not like he’ll have time to get into any trouble.
Apparently, his first mistake was one he’d made literal months ago, back in the spring—saying no to going out with Angela Shepard.
He knows it was shitty of him, the way he'd barely even acknowledged her presence after she waltzed up to him that day, but he also he knows it was never about him. It was her, expecting Pony to have her back whether or not he actually was interested in her, because that's just what Curtises and Shepards do.
But the day she approached him was—would've been—Johnny's seventeenth birthday. So, you know. There are a lot of reasons he'd turned her down. 
And now here they are, in October of 1968, at this stupid school dance. Mark’s brother Bryon brought a date and Bryon never liked Ponyboy anyway, so he and Mark walked off together to let those two hang out, and then Mark wanted to go out to Terry’s car because he brought alcohol or something—Pony was not interested in drinking the slightest, but he followed anyway—and then his second mistake must’ve been simply being at the dance or something, he doesn’t actually know. He doesn’t think he spoke to Angela the whole time.
(Later Ponyboy finds out she was trying to piss off Bryon, who he later finds out is her ex. She was mad he'd brought a date, or something like that. He still doesn't really get the whole thing, and probably never will. If you ask him, Angela should've known better than to have taken it all personally when she'd known exactly what she was doing.)
They’re sitting on the hood of Mark’s friend Terry’s car and some guy walks up that Ponyboy has never seen before. 
And the guy just swings at him! Of course he swung back!
Pony knows that he does not have a tough reputation, but he is one hell of a fighter—he may have gotten his ass kicked in the rumble but he also helped kick ass, and he’s been working out a bit with Darry so he can keep up with the track team, and he was briefly considered an accessory to murder, so clearly he can handle himself. Just ignore the fact he'd been drowning in the fountain for that whole thing. He figures Mark didn’t get the memo, because when the guy smashes a beer bottle to swing at Ponyboy’s head, his idiot friend decides to pick that moment to tell the other guy to relax.
Next thing Pony knows Mark’s on the ground bleeding and the school-sanctioned cop appointed to keep kids from killing each other at the dance grabs him to haul him away. Some job he’s doing.
He goes to get Mark’s brother, and he explains that the guy meant to hit him and not Mark, and Bryon says something about Angela Shepard but he doesn’t really explain. Pony decides he doesn't care. Mark groans and his eyes open, but it’s like he can’t see anything and Pony winces, because he knows all too well what is happening.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Shock,” Ponyboy says, and he takes Dally’s old leather jacket off and throws it over the guy until the ambulance arrives and the EMTs take over. He’s careful not to let any blood get on it, though. It’s already been through enough.
Ponyboy thinks maybe he has, too.
The brothers get into the ambulance and Cathy Carlson, the girl that Bryon took to the dance, walks up to him and asks what happened, so he tells her. She mentions that Bryon borrowed a friend’s car to drive them there—Two-Bit drove Ponyboy to the dance and then ditched him for the first girl he saw at the party, and must be long gone by now—and she points it out to him in the parking lot. She heads off to see if she can get a ride to the hospital from someone. 
Ponyboy wants to thank Mark for stopping the fight, if he can. He’s not as bad as everyone thinks he is; Pony’s got no clue why Dally used to be so insistent he stay away from the kid. He also kind of figured Bryon would need a way home too, so…
He hotwires the car. He hopes he didn’t break anything in the process, and he makes sure to have Cathy drive, because she has a license and Darry won’t let anyone but himself teach Pony—and he won’t do it until Pony’s sixteen. Probably for the best considering Soda and Steve have a million speeding tickets each and Two-Bit is chronically under the influence.
When they leave, Ponyboy and Bryon have to help Mark walk out because he can’t on his own just yet. Pony’s in the middle of saying he gets it, “I had this killer concussion last year after some soc kicked me in the head during the big rumble, and I remember bein’ out of my mind loopy after, laughin’ at how I couldn’t run… straight…”
He trails off.
He realizes he recognizes this hallway. The door across from him is slightly open and it is the room Johnny died in.
Mark half-falls ‘cause Bryon kept walking and Pony didn’t, and it takes Cathy asking if he is okay to snap him out of it. He says yes but his chest is starting to feel tight and his eyes burn.
He blinks a few times and shakes his head and mumbles a “sorry,” which just gets him an odd look, but no one really asks after that. They get Mark in the car and the only thing he says for the entire ride home are the directions to his house.
Except they don’t get all the way to his house, because they are driving down the street Dallas Winston died on and the pain in Pony’s chest gets worse and he looks out the window toward the street lamp and yells “STOP!” because he sees someone standing there and is convinced they are about to hit them.
Everyone stares at Ponyboy like he is insane but he does not care because Dally is crumpling to the ground just like he did that night, calling out Pony’s name and dropping dead. Then he is standing up, and the bullets are hitting him, and it repeats and repeats like some horrible loop. Pony feels like all his hair is standing on end. He can’t breathe.
Don’t think about how you heard Dally and Johnny’s last words, how they called for you, but you’ll never know Mom and Dad’s. If they screamed for help. If they held each other as they died. If they watched the train coming and knew they couldn't run.
“Uh, I forgot to tell y’all a turn, I… I’ll get out here. Thanks for the ride.”
He doesn’t wait for a response before he gets out of the car and shuts the door. Cathy’s got the window down and she asks if he’s okay and Pony is normally a good liar but he isn’t tonight.
“I’ll be fine. See you later.”
They drive off and Ponyboy sits down on the curb and stares at his hands. He’s never hanging out with any of them ever again.
He thinks about his dreams, the horrible ones that wake him up screaming and shaking, the ones he can’t ever remember, and he wonders why he had to be the one cursed with this stupid ability. To know something horrible is going to happen before it does. To see what happened to his friends after death. Why he has to be the one to know Dallas Winston will never move on. He has this feeling in his gut and he knows he needs to walk down this road to get home but he cannot bring himself to go anywhere near that street lamp. He already has Johnny’s spirit attached to him. He can’t deal with the idea of Dally being there too. He is too angry, and even from this distance, it’s starting to affect Pony, too.
He takes the long way home, because maybe he has a jacket tonight but he figures that if he’s going to get jumped tonight for walking home alone, what’s the worst that could happen after last time? He’s already lost two friends. He lost his parents. Who even cares anymore?
When Ponyboy gets back to his house it is well after curfew and he can see the light on inside and it is like deja vu. He has a black eye and his lip is cut, he knows it’s swelling up because he never put ice on it, and his chest feels tight and he knows he’s shed a few tears and he just. He can’t even bring himself to care as he walks inside.
“You’re late again,” Darry says. Soda is nowhere to be seen. 
“Yeah, whatever, Darrel,” Pony mutters.
“Where were you? I told you to be home by midnight. What happened to your face?”
“Some guy swung at me. Don’t worry about it.”
“You really think I won’t, Pony? We’ve talked about this.”
That is a lie. They didn’t talk. They just promised Soda not to fight anymore.
But Pony is tired and Dally and his heart hurts and he feels like he is going to explode, so he does.
“I was at the hospital, Darry, is that what you want? My friend got hurt trying to help me out because some guy I ain’t never seen in my life decided to swing at me at the dance even though I didn’t even do anything and I went to the hospital to check on Mark. And you know what? I had it all under control and then I hadda walk past that stupid room Johnny died in and now I know my brain is broken ‘cause I can’t stop thinking about it and about Dally and— and I don’t want to talk about it!” Ponyboy can’t even finish. He just storms past his brother and down the hall to his room.
He opens the door, grabs Sodapop out of the bed and shoves him out, and then slams the door shut behind him. The doorknob clicks locked and they hear a noise that sounds an awful lot like a heartbroken sob.
Soda looks at Darry.
“I told you waiting up for him would just piss him off.”
“Shut up.”
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hijackalx · 1 year ago
Text
ASTARION NSFW ALPHABET
Tumblr media
A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
hes such a dick if ur a one night stand LMAO understandably tho. understandably..... but yeah if hes not really feeling u he just kind of dips out after coming up with some wack ass rehearsed excuse to protect ur feelings. totally different story if he loves u though. i feel like he gets sooo lovey-dovey post nut OMG like soo much praise and so many kisses. post nut clarity with his S/O consists of him enjoying the many wonders of the world 😭😭  that shit will have him watching the sunset
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
i think he likes his hands. i mean its one of the things he can see so like. but they are really nice. long and nimble fingers and smooth palms. his hands look like poetry lowkey. anyway if ur AFAB he loves titties. any titty. loves to mark them up and watch them bounce while u ride him. if ur AMAB its ur shoulder/collarbone area especially if its dainty and delicate looking but regardless he wants to bite around there. youll see him looking at them a lot
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
he wants to come on ur face or inside u. his two go-tos. if hes about to nut he'll ask u really quick which u want and u have like 3 seconds to answer LMAO. takes a while to get to that point tho so u have some time to think about it beforehand 😭😭
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
he got hard asf the first time u let him drink from u LMAOO he walked away and jerked off IMMEDIATELY
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
hundreds of years of experience is enough for me yeah
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
oooooooooooo gurl. ugh hold on theres so many it could be. ok so theres two. 1. he likes to sit u in his lap (the back of ur head on his shoulder or maybe even sitting sideways with ur legs off the side ??? idk however yall want) and finger/jerk u off. it makes him feel sooo in control 🤤 and 2. he lovesss eye contact so any positions where he can stare into ur soul 👁️👁️ yall why am i only seeing missionary rn...... or planking i guess lol
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
i think hes pretty serious. he might even get pissed off if u start acting too goofy lol like hes playful but not going to start cracking jokes 😹😹
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
this pains me to say...... but i dont think elves get body hair if any (like canonically)....... but i think its weird to be completely bald so im going to say hes got a little bit of pubic hair, armpit hair, and of course leg/arm hair. its just not very long or thick. he basically never has to trim or anything
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
my boy is a romantic at heart yall. will kiss u a lot and hold u very close. i think its rlly important for him to have some sort of emotional connection thru sex.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
honestly dont feel like he ever does normally LMAO when u reject him or push him away during the first romance scene and he says he'll go beat off i think hes just saying that to make u feel bad 😹😭  when u let him drink from u it was probably the first time he jerked off in a longggg time. i can see him thinking hes above doing something like that lol so its an ego thing
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
ok did u guys see the little church looking building at the first campsite in act 3??? i think if yall were to smash there he'd never forget it. like something about that turns him on so much. probably bent u over the altar. even after u guys are long gone he still thinks abt it.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
suck on his fingers omg. but also really likes to use sex to put u in ur place so if u guys argue or just dont get along at some point he will use that as a build up to sex. so he will purposely push ur buttons A LOT. cuz its like, how dare u raise ur voice at him ?? 😤
N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
if u dont go along with what he wants to do he kind of gets pissy after a while. he only ever really wants to be in control and thats it. also wont do anything extreme or ridiculous either 😭😭 anything that makes him feel humiliated is a big no
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
for AFAB like ive said before he is the self-proclaimed coochie eating champion of faerun. sooooo good at it its not funny. will also kiss it and leave more kisses/bites on ur thighs. makes u feel like ur coochie is the most divine coochie in the world LMAO omg also will want to eat u out every time ur on ur period......... i think thats like one thing he will absolutely beg for OOP
if ur AMAB its basically the same just with a dick lol
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
he can do both. probably likes to be a little rougher than most people though
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
yeah if hes in the mood i can see him scouting the area for a place to smash LMAO which probably happens pretty often. doesnt mind giving up the romantic aspect as long as yall still fuck for real every once in a while.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
i think he would need to be convinced. willing to hear u out at least
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
TOO LONG. HE LASTS WAY TOO LONG. i mean after u been suckin and fuckin for that many years how do u not take forever to nut 😭😭  u will get urs tho dont worry. also perfect situation for u to have multiple orgasms so dont get discouraged besties 🤘🏻
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
allllll the timeeeee. he wants u to need him more than anything else before he fucks u. u need to need this man like u need oxygen. like a fish needs water. like a plant needs the sun. like a
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
grunts and groans but when he gets closer to finishing he'll start moaning. he doesnt make an effort to stay quiet but also wont do anything embarrassing 😹
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
emmmmm i wanna say he can go a pretty long time without sex. but if he has a partner he is sexually attracted to his libido can be pretty high. but lets remember he is getting into his erectile dysfunction years ☝🏻 JOKINGGGG LMAO
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
well he meditates technically. but he gets into that lil meditation pose fast as fuck boy 🧘 do not interrupt him either he'll be grumpy 😭
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unsolicited-opinions · 3 months ago
Note
Just saying like . Of your countries list a lot of these Are heavily criticised by those who take a stance against Israel’s government and current political status. Turkey and Northern Ireland being listed are banger examples. Also of the countries you listed with official religions, the depth of which religion is involved in general affairs varies drastically. I’m Scottish, you listed Scotland, the Church of Scotland has literally no influence on politics and laws, its heritage / a left over item by English Protestants more than anything. I do in fact, firmly think any country having an official religion meddling in state affairs is bad, actually, but the list you pulled together has such massive variety it’s not really making a big point imo. Afghanistan and like Scotland have very different levels of religious control over government and every citizens life. Both shouldn’t be there but, not comparable aside from the simple fact they have an official religion 😭
Cool. Tell me more about what level of ethnic or religious identity you think is okay in a modern nation state? Not joking - I think that's an important conversation to have and I'd like to have it.
I agree that the UK's level of religious establishment is mostly harmless. There is real freedom of religion, despite the fact that the Monarch takes vows to protect the Church of England and the Church of Scotland. There is real freedom of religion despite the fact that public funds go to religious schools. I don't think those circumstances are ideal, but I think the UK lives up to Enlightenment Liberal values by truly protecting religious freedoms for religious minorities and having laws against religious discrimination.
The same cannot be said, for instance (as you mention) for Afghanistan, Iran, or Egypt.
Meanwhile, non-Jewish Israelis have the exact same legal rights as Jewish Israelis. (If you would like to dispute this fact, please cite sources). As every citizen of the UK has equal rights of religious freedom, so do the citizens of Israel. Israeli non-Jews are judges and members of Israel's parliament, the Knesset.
So, how does this differ from the UK?
I totally agree with you that ANY establishment of religion is potentially problematic- But if Israel's identity as a Jewish state is bothersome while it has true freedom of religion which none of its neighbors have, I'm asking why Israel is singularly bothersome to its detractors for having an ethnic/religious identity.
And, again, I really would like to hear *answers* to this question which leverage facts and reason.
Lastly, thank you for offering a differing view without resorting to slurs or telling me to kill myself. I value and appreciate your civility more than I can adequately express.
It is one of my life's ambitions to visit Scotland. I loved how the Scots responded to Trump's visit. David Tennant made my week with this one.
Wishing you well in these awful times.
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resurrectionist3 · 1 month ago
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Question for the Heretic (2024) fandom
- Spoilers for sure so be careful -
I’ve been thinking about this every since i watched the film. Everything about it, even the ending, i think i understand and have a grasp of. But there’s one thing slipping me and its been bothering me for almost a week now.
Right before Paxton and Barnes choose the door they’re going to walk through, as a final attempt at getting on Mr. Reed’s good side, Sister Paxton laughs and says “you have a beautiful house Mr. Reed. Did you build it yourself?” Or something along those lines.
Mr. Reed smiles and says “My wife built it.”
Up until this point, it’s understood that any time Mr. Reed mentions his wife, he’s lying. From the start, he was lying about having a wife and her being home with him to make the girls comfortable enough to go inside. And that leads to the blueberry pie candle that tricked the girls into thinking his “wife” was actually baking a pie. Any time his wife is mentioned, he’s lying.
So when he says that “his wife” built the house, what does that MEAN??? Surely someone had to make the house the way it was and it’s mainly implied throughout the rest of the film that Mr. Reed did all of that. I mean who else would have need for a layered torture basement, lights and locks set to timers, and a room made entirely to look like the inside of a church?? Its not like he bought it like that…
And then after going through the doors when the prophet first enters with the pie, Barnes and Paxton (and me too honestly) thought for a minute that she was Mrs. Reed. Maybe she was at one point but i feel like if that were the case, that would have been a big reveal. But Reed only ever refers to her as “The Prophet” and then of course she dies and gets quickly replaced.
Then i started to wonder whether or not he meant it figuratively. If he did have a wife once, maybe something happened to her or something she did or said in the past led him to do all his research to discover the One True Religion. So then when he says “my wife built this house”, it really means that her existence and/or past actions led him down this path, and her indirectly creating and becoming the foundation for “this house” or for his ideologies and the reasons for his actions (hopefully that makes sense).
Or maybe he was messing with them. At this point, the girls know that theres no wife. And Reed knows that they know. So is him saying “my wife built it” just a rude jab at them? Or a joke? But then whats the point of that other than to be weird and confusing (thats very on brand for him though, I cant even lie). And again, what does it mean?? Is it his way of saying “well duh obviously i built it. Who else do you think, my wife?” That would’ve been funny if he said that but he didn’t say it like that. So im inclined to believe that its not like that.
After that point with the prophet, there’s genuinely no other significant mention of a “wife” for Mr. Reed.
Another thing that struck me as odd was the constant reminder of his lie. Him drinking from the cup and mug that say “hubby” and yet no paired ones that say “wifey”. He wears a wedding ring, and i can accept that he does all of that to trick his victims. But even at the end of the film when he’s clinging to life and crawling across the basement trying to get to Sister Paxton, Mr. Reed is STILL wearing the ring. Clearly the facade has been broken, he doesn’t need to trick anyone anymore so why not take the ring off? It just feels so intentional to me for him to have it on the entire time, especially when the mention of his wife (or lack thereof) was so significant at the beginning.
As you can see, it’s been absolutely killing me. I’m probably looking way too far into it, and no one else seems to be that interested in this single line. But in a movie like this (and any A24 film to be so honest) EVERYTHING feels intentional. Especially the script. So there’s no way this just doesn’t mean anything. So if anyone has anymore insight that would really be beautiful and beneficial to my mental health because this is seriously driving me crazy.
Hey also also… why does no one have a first name in this film? Whats that about.
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unforth · 1 month ago
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Hello! Forgive me for the strange and invasive question I’m about to ask, but I noticed in your bio that you’re a mother and you seem to be a danmei fan as well, and my question pertains to that.
I’m in my mid 20s and enjoy danmei. I read 2ha before the published paperbacks came out and was pretty excited to be able to eventually own physical copies of the story i love so much. But I somehow end up feeling very self conscious about buying them, since they contain multiple explicit scenes and I’m worried if someone were to browse my bookshelf someday and come across these, they’d judge me harshly. I’m not sure if marriage is in the cards for me, but if/when I do end up getting married and having children, how exactly would I explain having these books to my husband and kid(s)? In my country, joint families are fairly common so I also might end up having to live with my husband’s parents and I’d be toast if they were to come across these 😬. I know it seems silly to be worried about a hypothetical future husband and children but I’m afraid I can’t help it. Since you have kids, how do you manage keeping your danmei novels? Do you hide them, or just tell them they’re books for adults?
Anon you sound like you've got some pretty incredible hang-ups about sex. Are you this worried about if my kids find the scene in MDZS where Wen Chao has to eat is own legs? Or if I allow your hypothetical, are you worried what your spouse and kids would think of that kind of content?
The 2ha books are books. I keep them with the books. I have a dedicated shelf for danmei in my bedroom, and they're there. My kids have seen me reading them and can access them anytime and have never given a single fuck or shown any interest whatsoever in what I'm reading, EXCEPT when I'm reading shounen manga and then they're excited. Oh or that time I read some Pokémon manga. And sometimes they're interested in the YA queer graphic novels I get from tbe library. Okay yeah if I'm reading comics they sometimes care. But a prose book? Zero fucks given. I tell them nothing, because they don't ask, but if they did ask, I'd tell them a simplified version of the truth, and I know my kids: zero fucks would continue to be given.
This whole "omg ~sex~" thing doesn't exist unless you as the adult make it exist. I don't act like there's some great mystery they're missing out on but will be ~initiated into the secrets of~ when they're older. That is the surest way to make them desperate to know things they're not ready for. They've had some age-appropriate sex-ed in the Our Whole Lives program offered at our church, and the one time I made the mistake of thinking my son knew more than he did (he knew sperm + egg = baby, so I assumed he knew penis inside vagina was the process. I assumed wrong.) his reaction was a hilarious, "they do WHAT?" and he has never brought it up again. The other day we read a book that included a joke about a teenage man being given a shirt that says "I make chicks hot" (he was going to work at a fast good joint, the joke was its about literal chicken) and my son looked me dead in the eye and said "that joke is NOT age appropriate." He's almost 9, so I told him puberty is coming whether he wants it to or not, and I'd rather he know these feelings exist before the first time they happen than be blindsided when they do (I didn't say, "if they do," I figure the nuances of my utterly asexual non-awakening aren't a detail he needs quite yet.)
All of which is to say, I find this ask utterly baffling and it honestly feels like a trap, but I'm trying to take it in good faith, and in good faith, anon, I'm telling you this:
If the hypothetical husband in your scenario would disapprove of what you're reading, then why the fuck is hypothetical you marrying him?
If the hypothetical kids in this scenario might find age-inappropriate materials, why aren't you worried about the violence? Or the horror parts? And why is hypothetical you telling the hypothetical kids anything at all about the books? Did they ask??? Or are you thinking hypothetical future you is so terrified of being caught with sexy books that you're the one bringing up adult stuff, unsolicited, to these kids? Cause THAT'S the weird thing to do. Going "and just so you know, kids, these books are for ADULTS" when they haven't paid any attention at all is going to create a problem where none exists. I'm not gonna pretend the kid doesn't exist who isn't more interested in what their parents read than mine are about my reading, and of course some kids will end up in traumatic situations that result in them knowing more than they normally would about these topics, and that's tragic that some kids have that happen. But in my experience of the kids I used to run into when I worked in schools, my own kids, their friends, etc., these kids have absolutely zero, zilch interest. When my kids ask what kinds of books I'm reading, I say books about men in ancient China. That leads to immediate negative interest cause it sounds dry and boring to them. Problem (no actual problem existed) solved.
You want to know what IS hard to talk about?
Warning them about predators.
When it's never once crossed their minds that anyone would have any interest in their private parts - because they're just a normal part of their body - having to explain that if a grown-up touches them in certain places, or asks to look at them naked, or tries to get them alone, etc., then they have to say no and find an adult they trust. When they were younger, explaining THAT was hard.
I'm not afraid of what my kids might find in a book. They're not interested, and even if they were, these books are above their literacy level right now (my son has nearly finished his first chapter book! It's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I'm very proud of him). And if they could somehow read a book this hard, and understand it, and accidentally read an age inappropriate part, and and and... well, then, we'd talk about it. I trust them to come to me if they run into media they're uncomfortable with, and I also check in periodically to open the door. And they have sometimes brought up concerns, and we talk about it, and that's that. The hardest right now to explain? What the alt-right pipeline might look like in a Minecraft YouTuber video. Fuck but that is HARD to communicate to kids who have only the vaguely idea of the current political situation.
Honestly I'm more worried they'll read the part where the demon mom eats her own child alive. That is the most triggering scene I've ever encountered in fiction. I've never read the whole chapter.
But you didn't even think of that. Because you're too busy thinking about how to tell your non-existent kids that these books have SEX and it's not for KIDS and they shouldn't read it.
Anon, I'm not afraid of what my kids might get exposed to in books.
I'm afraid of what real people might do to hurt my kids, and how I prepare them for actual trauma.
A book can't hurt them. Well, maybe if someone throws it at them. But if they read something that freaks them out they know to just. Stop reading. And they can ask us about it and we can help unpack it.
But preparing them for the harm actual humans can do to them? Explaining why we're at a BLM protest? Explaining why they have to be wary of any stranger OR NON-STRANGER (because most abuse is by someone the child knows!) who wants access to their body isn't okay? Having to wrap my head around "I don't think any of our relatives are sex abusers but IF they secretly are what language do I use to convey to my child that their aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, shouldn't have access to their body in certain ways but still can touch you to wipe poop off"? Trying to say "I know you like this person's minecraft persona but if they start saying mean things about a group of people different from them you have to stop watching and tell a grown-up"? Knowing there's no warning on the planet that can prepare them for all the actual harm that can come to them from real people? That's the hardest part of parenting. I can't protect them without smothering them. I have to let them face some risks or else they'll never develop. I hate this. It's so fucking hard.
Anyway.
That's the hard stuff anon.
You are entirely and utterly worried about the wrong problem.
If this was a good faith ask... you should sit and unpack why you are uniquely worried about the sex parts of 2ha and not the violence parts. You should ask yourself why you think you'd love and marry and raise a family with someone who'd disapprove of your taste in books. You should ask yourself why this is your hang-up, and why you think you'd have to say anything at all about the books to a person browsing your shelf, a spouse, an in-law, a kid.
If this wasn't a good faith ask...idk what you're fishing for, anon, but the fact that you think I'd say anything at all about the contents of a book they are absolutely not ready for is fucking weird. I will say something when they ask and not a moment before, and when they do ask I'll tell them honestly it's a book with a lot of violence and sex and adult stuff and if somehow that didn't drive them away (it would right now, instantly) then that'd suggest maybe they're ready to know more, and I'd steer them to more age-appropriate ways to learn a bit more about sex. There, the problem you made up is solved.
Good luck, anon. Whether this was good faith or not, you have a lot of mental baggage to sort through.
*
I just reread the ask in preparation for posting, and as a few final notes: 1. My wife (no husbands here) knows what I read, 2. My father lives with us, and he knows what I read, 3. My mother in law also knows what I read, and it makes her uncomfortable I think but she recognizes that's a "her" problem and leaves me alone, and 4. My mother is chomping at the bit to get her hands on my 2ha, she's been very disappointed that most of the danmei she's borrowed post MDZS and SVSSS hasn't been more "like that." So don't assume your in-laws will flip out. Most people know books are just books. But I also don't know your culture/country/situation. I was raised by incredibly progressive people in one of the most socially progressive cities in the world (New York City, we have race problems but in other areas we're not bad), and like. My entire cultural surroundings are chill about stuff. I'm also not Christian. Obviously in another culture with stricter mores I can see why this could be more of an issue but you asked how I handle it and I can only give an honest answer from the actual reality I live in, which is that it never has crossed my mind anyone would care and sure enough, no one has cared. 🤷 I'm sorry if that's led me to be dismissive of legitimate concerns, it's very hard to know what anons on tumblr are well intentioned and which are from people who are just waiting to go HA THAT EVIL PERSON PUTS THE NAUGHTY DIRTY BAD PORN WHERE THE KIDS CAN GET IT. Considering that people have been sending me asks recently that my son should die, or that he will grow up to be a rapist because that's what men do, because my post that maybe people shouldn't hate men has brought enough attention that the fucking weirdos think lashing out at an 8 year old is an entirely normal and reasonable response to "stop virulently hating men just because they are men," I hope you can understand why my tone is what it is and why I have to consider that this ask is not being sent in good faith. Those anons I block and delete unanswered, so me writing this response is already giving you some benefit of the doubt.
Regardless. Work on you first, anon. You deserve people who will love you even knowing that sometimes you read kinky shit, and do not under any circumstances tell your kids, should you have them, a word more than they need to know. If they're very precocious early readers MAYBE move the books, but otherwise odds are they won't be able to even read the back blurbs, much less the inside, until they're old enough to know a little about how life works, and you can frame what you tell them to what they know then.
Alright, I'll shut up now.
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charlotteharlatan · 7 months ago
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A list (non-exhaustive) of why the 1941 flashback scenes are haunting both me and The Narrative, Part 1:
1. Both S1 and S2 have scenes that take place that night - THAT CERTAIN NIGHT - in 1941. It is specifically revisited in S2, which leads the audience to believe that night was of particular importance, both to Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship and to the overall plot of the show.
2. In the same vein of things that are referenced more than once, the song “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square” was first released in 1940, and it’s entirely plausible that they both heard it for the first time in 1941 while in each other’s company.
All evidence points to the song being personally significant to Aziraphale and Crowley. We know it as Their Song, and they seem to think of it that way as well - otherwise Crowley’s “no nightingales” comment in the last 15 minutes of S2ep6 would not have struck Aziraphale so hard; we can see by his expression that the words affect him. With that statement, Crowley seems to be referencing not only the song itself, but possibly also a specific memory they share that involves that song.
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At first, one might assume he means the occasion at the Ritz at the end of S1, because that song is indeed playing in that scene. However, I think that scene itself is also partially a reference back to 1941, which I’ll get to in a later item.
3. When examined closely, many scenes and plot elements from the rest of the show may be nodding to 1941. When Crowley and Aziraphale discuss ways that humans fall in love in the pub scene in S2ep2, Crowley references being caught under an awning in the rain, a very transparent callback to Eden when they huddled under Aziraphale’s wing.
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So, Crowley’s contribution harkens back to Eden, but what does Aziraphale mention? What is called to his mind when he thinks of falling in love? Cotillion balls. Music and dancing. Things he’s read about in Jane Austen novels, the moments therein where the protagonists realize they’re in love. On its surface, Aziraphale’s idea of falling in love seems more like an abstraction than something the angel has experienced himself. Except: perhaps he has. Perhaps, just like with almost everything Aziraphale says and does, we should be looking at it much deeper than surface level.
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Maybe he’s projecting just like Crowley is, just in a less straightforward, more opaque sort of way, which you have to admit would be very in-character of him. Maybe he’s thinking of a moment we have not directly seen yet, a moment that has only been gestured to. In other words, “a joke the paleontologists haven’t seen yet,” the paleontologists in this case being, well, us. We know Aziraphale is actually capable of sleight of hand in the right circumstances, so maybe him talking about a ball is only a feint, a flamboyantly waving hand as a distraction to keep our attention away from what the other hand is doing. Maybe he is also recalling a specific memory of himself and Crowley, one that involved music and dancing, and the realization that the feeling between them was love.
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So with all that in mind, what moment from the show do we have great reason to believe was Aziraphale’s realization of his own feelings, and to an extent, Crowley’s as well? Yup, you’ve got it: 1941 again. The aftermath of Crowley rescuing him at the church and saving his books. The face that launched a ship. (Sorry.)
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4. Backtracking slightly to the topic of music and dancing and The Ball, let’s talk about this: just like Crowley “did a rainstorm” to try to get Nina and Crowley to fall for each other the same way he fell for Aziraphale, The Ball may have been Aziraphale’s effort to recreate the occasion on which he realized he’d fallen for Crowley. Perhaps it was intended to be a “do-over” of past events where they almost connected, with the aim of finally reaching each other this time. We’re all aware by now that while Aziraphale did fully intend to get Maggie and Nina together, he also threw a ball specifically to dance with Crowley.
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It does initially seem odd that he thinks Crowley will respond well to such a big, ostentatious party, but perhaps Aziraphale has tried the subtle route before to little avail. Like when, you may well ask?
5. Well, for one: their rendezvous in 2008, right after the Antichrist arrives on Earth, in S1ep1. Crowley has been unsuccessful in convincing Aziraphale to help him avert the apocalypse, but the angel has fewer qualms about a lunch date at the Ritz.
After the Ritz, they go back to the bookshop, with Aziraphale telling Crowley he still has some Chateauneuf du Pape left “for special occasions,” which is an interesting comment - the reason why this is a special occasion to Aziraphale is never named, as Crowley glosses over it in favor of pointing out that nobody will be having any wine anymore if Heaven wins the upcoming war. Aziraphale reiterates his refusal to engage with that topic, and ushers Crowley into the shop.
All this leaves the vague impression that Aziraphale has his own agenda for the evening (because all appearances of passivity aside, the angel almost always has his own agenda). And Crowley, not noticing this or perhaps choosing to not notice it, is throwing a spanner in the works of said agenda by continuing to bring up the apocalypse. And so, stuck at this stalemate, they drink the ‘special occasion’ wine in the shop, and listen to music, and get very drunk. It’s a small detail, but we know the music is coming from the gramophone because it’s the same record Aziraphale was listening to when Crowley called him the night prior.
So, wine and music. Why are these elements significant? It isn’t named, but in S2ep4 when Aziraphale and Crowley have returned to the bookshop after the magic show, the bottle of wine they share in the back room is the same kind, Chateauneuf du Pape.
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And while there is noticeably no music playing when the two of them are sitting in the quiet, private, candlelit back room of the shop, the gramophone can be seen over Aziraphale’s shoulder in many parts of the scene, looming over their conversation like a musical Chekhov’s gun.
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And here’s the real kicker: the gramophone, as it happens, is normally positioned facing the opposite direction. In bookshop scenes from the rest of S2, even earlier on in that very same episode, we see it facing the usual way, in the direction of Aziraphale’s desk.
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This means that it was intentionally turned so that the “mouth” of the gramophone would be visible in this scene, and turned towards Aziraphale and Crowley. You may well ask: “the background of this scene is dark and out of focus, how can you tell for sure which way the gramophone is facing?” If you look closely, you can see the gramophone’s crank is on the right side, visible in some shots past the lip of the wine bottle. If the gramophone were facing in its usual direction, the crank would be on the left and invisible in these shots.
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And, to add another layer to it, we know how important cranks are as a symbolic object in this series, how much power these objects can hold in the hands of the correct wielder. Crowley turns a crank to prime the engine of the universe - in other words, to begin the music of the spheres; and much later, he uses the Bentley’s crank when he restarts time on the Tadfield airbase. What if the gramophone’s crank was used in a similar way in 1941, to temporally create a little universe of their own, either metaphorically or literally?
Great care was taken in planning every aspect, every little detail of this show; almost nothing is a coincidence; staging scenes especially is done with the utmost degree of care. All of this to say, we as the audience seem to be meant to relate the scenes from 1941, 2008, and 2023 narratively, even though they take place decades apart. Throughout the years, Aziraphale may be trying - subtly at first, but then less so - to recreate the events of 1941.
Okay, that’s items 1 through 5. I definitely have more but I hit the limit for gifs and images for posting via the mobile app, so I’m going to have to post the rest in at least two more parts. Because I still have ghosts in my head and I must write about it. Hauntings are easier to handle if there’s someone in the house with you who sees the ghosts too.
Link to part 2
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flowerandblood · 2 years ago
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Lead me to the light (Oneshot)
[religious • modern!Aemond x female]
[warnings: fingering, mention of masturbation, religious guilt]
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[description: He and she are very religious. They are in love, happy and engaged, but it is becoming increasingly difficult for them, to bear the lack of physical intimacy that they both crave. They decide to try something new. Anon Request.]
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
_____
She met Aemond at the parish school. Once he came with his mother, who was a catechist, to help her carry a few boxes with various things. She helped her in working with children as a volunteer. They organized extracurricular activities and plein-airs in the parish hall, belonging to the nearby church.
She often saw Aemond and his mother at church on Sundays. Alicent always greeted her after they left and had a few words with her, but her son always stood a few steps away, not even looking at them, thoughtful. She noticed, that he always turned, so she couldn't see the scarred part of his face.
One day, the parish priest had the idea, to organize a small picnic for all the faithful in the large parish garden, after the mass. Alicent thought it was a great idea and they ordered the catering together. It was necessary to go for tables, chairs and disposable dishes, so they divided the duties.
“I asked Aemond to drive you to the store. Here's a list of things you need to buy." She said softly, giving her a piece of paper and a bundle of bills, to buy all these things.
She was excited to see him. He intrigued her immensely, and she wondered, if she'd be able to get him to even a brief exchange of words.
Aemond arrived on time. She waited for him on the street and ran to the car, that he parked in the parking lot. She opened the passenger door and sat in the seat, smiling at him.
"Good morning." She said cheerfully and lightly, it was beautiful, summer morning at its best.
"Hi." He said dryly and dispassionately, glancing in the mirror as he reversed the car, making sure it didn't hit anything. She pursed her lips, placing her hands on the small backpack in front of her.
She rolled over and glanced at his player with a smile, hearing, that AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" was playing. She thought it was a funny song choice, given their religious approach to life. All she could see on the playlist, were rock bands, that she knew well. She heard him twist in the seat next to her, confused.
"If you want, I'll play another playlist." He said low. She looked at him as if he had insulted her.
"You must be joking. It's a sin to switch such a piece." She said amused and laughed, turning her face towards the window.
"I was at an AC/DC concert last year." She added after a moment, thinking with satisfaction about this event, that she went to with her dad, a huge fan of the band.
They were silent for a while, as they listened to the song. She heard him clear his throat softly, as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. She thought he was cute.
After a few minutes, they arrived at the store. Aemond went in with her, for there were many things to buy, and his mother had told him not to make her carry too much.
She headed for the aisle with disposable plates and cups. There were so many and with so many patterns, that she didn't know, what to choose. She showed him a pattern with flowers and a pattern with colorful, large polka dots.
"Which one do you like more?" She asked, and he looked at her, surprised.
"Does it matter? They'll be thrown away anyway." He spoke reluctantly, but stopped immediately, apparently thinking, that he might have offended her. He turned his head, pressing his lips together. She looked at the plates and sighed.
"Maybe you're right. So what, we'll take plain white? They're probably even cheaper." She said taking the third set, examining it. Aemond looked at her in surprise, expecting his remark to frustrate her. He nodded.
"Let's take the cheaper ones and buy more juices." He proposed. She thought it was a good idea and they did exactly that.
She had the impression, that her openness and lightness of conversation made him relax. She discussed freely with him the choice of what to buy and what would be better on such a hot day. They gave up the chocolate cookies, thinking, they would just melt.
Alicent told her, that she could also choose some extra items herself, if she found something interesting in the store. She decided to buy surprise eggs for the children, she knew they loved them.
They left the store with everything they needed to buy, packing the things into the trunk. They got in and headed back to the church, continuing to listen to his rock playlist, without talking to each other.
When they arrived, Aemond helped her fetch her things from the car and lay them on the tables, that were already set out in the parish garden. She rummaged in one of the bags and pulled out two chocolate surprise eggs, placing one in front of him and the other in front of her. He looked at her, surprised.
"Why are you giving me this? I thought, it was supposed to be for kids." He said low, indifferent. She looked at him, eyebrows raised in amusement.
"And we are not someone's children? Come on, you didn't collect these toys when you were little?" She asked, unwrapping her egg from the foil, breaking it into two halves with a light movement, immediately popping one piece of chocolate into her mouth.
He was about to say something, but his mother came over to them, talking to her. It turned out, that she needed help in disassembling everything and putting it in order. She apologized to Aemond and followed her, leaving him alone.
When everything was ready, they went to mass together. She invited her to sit together in one of the first pews, and she agreed. Aemond gave her a surprised look and made room for her, to sit next to him.
She tried to focus on what the priest was saying, but her mind kept returning to his scent. Some nice, fresh, intense masculine perfume, that made her head spin. His thighs were slightly parted, his feet, like hers, resting on the kneeler.
His knee was touching hers, and though she knew it was an accident, that it was just tight around them, she shivered at the thought. She couldn't help, but involuntarily pressed her leg against his a little tighter. She felt him shift uneasily in the seat, his fingers tightening on each other.
After a moment, to her surprise, it was his knee that pressed tighter against hers. She pursed her lips at the feeling. She knew, that church wasn't the best place to flirt, but she couldn't help the heat, that was welling up in her belly. She felt her cheeks flushed, a wide smile on her face.
Aemond stayed at the picnic that day and talked to her pretty much the entire time, sitting on one of the blankets, eating grapes and drinking coffee from a disposable cup. She lay down next to him, her backpack under her head. She looked up at the sky, talking to him, letting him look at her.
He opened up to her that day and even let her give him a little hug as part of his farewell. From then on, he came to help his mother more often, but she knew, he meant something else. He always sat in the classroom next to her desk with a cup of coffee in his hand.
He pretended, that he was waiting for Alicent to drive her home, but she knew, that he had only come to talk to her for fifteen minutes. It took him several months to get his true intentions out, but he was received with great enthusiasm. They have been together as a couple ever since.
Exactly after a year, he proposed to her and told her, that he did not want to wait long to get married. They decided, that they would get married next year, so that everything could be done on time. They were both happy thinking about the prospect of living together. They got along very well, also in matters of faith.
One day Aemond invited her to spend the night at his house. They had never stayed the night together before. He told her, that Helaena was away for the weekend and her room would be free, so she could take her bed. He suggested, that they watch something together and have a good time. She was thrilled and terrified at the same time.
She didn't want him to think badly of her, but he aroused so much desire in her, that she couldn't bear it. Even though, she hadn't done it before she met him, she started touching herself between her thighs, seeking fulfillment and relaxation. The tension she felt after meeting him, was unbearable.
She did not share this area of life with him, fearing, that he would lose his good opinion of her. She figured, that she'd make it to their wedding somehow.
However, spending the night together was a temptation for her, that she feared would defeat her. She was afraid of his rejection. That if she kisses him more passionately or puts her hand under his shirt, he'll look at her like she's dirty and worthless. However, she decided, that she would try to fight and not give herself out.
When she arrived at their home, Alicent immediately embraced her. The three of them had dinner - Aegon and his father were at work. Their whole family worked in the family business - Aemond once in a while because, like her, he was still studying.
Then they said goodbye, she took her things to Helaena's room and went to him. He was sitting on his bed with his laptop on his lap. He was browsing some platform, looking for some interesting movie.
She climbed onto his bed and lay down next to him, wrapping her arm around his, placing her cheek against his shoulder. He immediately kissed the top of her head, continuing to scroll down, letting out a grunt of displeasure.
"I don't see anything interesting. I don't know why I'm paying for this." He hummed low, sighing softly, leaning his head against the bed. After a few minutes, they decided together, that they would start a series, that was recommended to her by one of her friends.
They began to watch, his arm wrapped around her and pulled her to him. She automatically buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent, closing her eyes. His hand played with the strands of her hair, curling them around his fingers and letting go.
She felt a pleasant shiver at the feeling, she loved it, when he did that. Her hand ran over his chest thoughtfully. She couldn't concentrate on what she was watching. Aemond looked at her, turning his head in her direction.
"You don't like it? We can turn on something else." He murmured, stroking her head steadily and kissing her forehead. A pleasant shiver ran through her. She thought with horror, that she wanted more. They kissed often. She decided, it was okay, if they did it now.
She looked up at him and moved closer to his face, her lips brushing his, warm and full. He hummed low in contentment, parting his mouth, returning her caress gently with a wet click.
They kissed like that for a moment, tender, innocent, his hand tracing her cheek. She heard his soft moan, as her hand tightened around the nape of his neck, her lips digging deeper, more lustfully into his.
She felt as if he froze for a moment, but she continued to caress him, feeling the throbbing between her thighs, wonderful and hot. She wondered, if he felt it too. He broke away from her suddenly and cleared his throat, looking away.
"So? Are we watching on?” He asked, refreshing the page, rewinding the episode a few minutes.
She pursed her lips and nodded. She felt her whole body stiffen, for some reason, tears of helplessness gathered in her eyes. She buried her face in his neck again, his hand still stroking her steadily.
She felt tears streaming from the corners of her eyes, straight onto his skin, her body twitching slightly, but she made no sound. Aemond felt wetness on his neck and propped himself up on one elbow to see, what was happening. When he saw her red, tear-stained face, he immediately stopped the movie, staring at her, horrified.
"What's going on?" He asked anxiously, stroking with his hand her bare shoulder. She couldn't answer him, only began to cry even more, sucking in a ragged breath.
"Hey, baby, what happened? You can tell me." He said soothingly, wiping away her tears, stroking her cheek.
She could see in his gaze, that he was terrified and surprised, she had never cried in front of him before. She shook her head, letting him know, that she couldn't tell him. He pursed his lips, seeing this.
"Really, you can tell me anything. I want to know, what's bothering you." He said calmly, her hand ran over his chest involuntarily. She couldn't look him in the eye.
"You will despise me, when I tell you." She mumbled softly, sniffling, tears flowing from her eyes again, as if the thought of telling him terrified her so much, that all she could do was sob.
She heard him sigh heavily, pressing his forehead against her temple, his long, blond hair lightly tickling her nose.
"I will never despise you. And since I am to be your husband, I want to support you in all your worries.” He whispered softly, his lips lingeringly kissing her scalp once in a while.
She looked at him finally, turning onto her back, their faces millimeters apart. She opened her mouth several times, trying to force it out. She finally made it.
"I desire you." She said in a broken voice. She saw the pain and surprise in his gaze. He swallowed hard, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his body tensed. He didn't answer for a moment, staring at her with wide eye.
"You know… you know, that I desire you too." He whispered softly. She pursed her lips at his words.
"The frustration I feel is unbearable." She said finally, looking away, shaking her head, shielding her eyes with her hand, so he wouldn't see, that she was crying again.
She felt like an empty girl, unable to contain her simplest urges. She heard him exhale loudly, his breath shaky and loud.
"You think it's easy for me? If only I could…” He said and didn't finish, turning his head, looking to the side, his lips pressed together. “…if only I could, I would take you here and now. But we both know, we'd feel guilty afterwards." He added quickly, looking at her uncertainly.
She pursed her lips at his words. She knew, he was right. She wanted to wait until marriage. With this wonderful experience of feeling him deep inside her.
She swallowed softly and nodded her head. They were silent for a moment. She felt, like he wanted to say something, but couldn't.
“I have to relieve myself before each meeting with you. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to resist." He blurted out suddenly softly, his words sending a shiver down her spine. He didn't look at her, embarrassed by his words. She swallowed loudly.
"I… I touch myself too." She said embarrassed, her cheeks burning with tears and emotions.
He looked at her, a silence filled with tension between them. She could feel her muscles clenching with desire, the moisture dripping onto the fabric of her panties. She could see that he was fighting with himself, that something was in the air.
"…can I touch you there?" He asked softly, his voice trembling, unsure. Her eyes widened in shock. She nodded quickly, swallowing hard, her heart pounding like crazy. She was desperate.
"Y-yes. Yes, please, touch me there.” She whispered pleadingly, and he moaned softly at her words, his hand immediately going between her thighs, on the fabric of her panties. She suppressed a moan that escaped her lips and squeezed her eyes shut, her body arching in pleasure.
His fingers pressed lightly against her, starting to massage her through the fabric, moving up and down. A wave of heat ran through her, making her shiver all over. They both started breathing heavily.
"God, your panties are all wet." He whispered softly, delighted and thrilled by what he was doing and seeing. She nodded her head, trembling all over, sweet, soft moans escaped her lips.
Unable to contain himself, he pressed his lips against hers, more passionately and intensely than before. Each time they broke apart and clung to each other, the long, wet click of their saliva accompanied them again.
She moaned into his mouth in surprise, shivering all over, as his fingers slid the material of her panties aside and ran over her throbbing, wet, hot entrance. They both inhaled loudly at the sensation.
"You're so warm." He hummed in delight, his fingers, all sticky with her juices, traveling to her clit, teasing her timidly, seeing how her body would react to it. A sudden, startled groan of pleasure escaped her lips.
"Oh God − yes, touch me like that −" She sobbed helplessly, she felt like she had a fever, her body burning from the inside.
Unwittingly she parted her thighs a bit, allowing him access, and he moaned into her mouth feeling it, his tongue brushing over her upper lip, making them both gasp with excitement.
His fingers sped up, massaging her around her clit with slow, intense strokes, spreading her wetness all over her pussy. He could feel how hot and thirsty she was, how much she needed it, her thighs involuntarily reaching out to meet him. He was so painfully hard that he was dizzy, his cock throbbing in his pants.
He shifted his hand abruptly so that his thumb continued to massage her clit, and his fingers slid over her wet, swollen entrance again. His fingertip teased her, barely slipping in and out, feeling her fleshy walls tighten around him.
"Do you want me to put it in you, baby?" He gasped into her mouth, and she stifled a loud moan, her whole body trembling. She tightened her hand on his hair, burying her nose in his face, her body writhing under his hand.
"Y-yes − please − I need it −" She mumbled, and he closed her mouth with his in an aggressive, sticky kiss, forcing his tongue all the way down her throat.
He slid his finger inside her, stretching her swollen, throbbing muscles, feeling the heat of her body. He thought of how great a delight it would be to enter her, how tight she would clench on his large cock. He began to slip his middle finger in and out of her in a slow, intense rhythm, with the wet click of her juices.
He would never admit it, but he'd read a lot about how to please a woman. He didn't want to hurt her on their wedding night, and he'd thought of her quite often since their engagement.
He wanted to be as prepared as possible, and to be able to touch her so that she would be ready to receive him inside her. He decided that this would be a good training for them, that they would understand and learn what gave them pleasure.
He searched for her sweet spot with his finger, knew that it was somewhere on her upper wall. Suddenly, he felt something like a slight lump under his finger, and she moaned into his mouth in surprise.
He smiled under his breath, massaging this point intensely, rubbing it with a quick, confident motion that made her pant and shiver.
"Feels good, babygirl?" He hummed, a smirk on his face. He felt her walls tightening on him more and more, her hips responding greedily to his every move, seeking fulfillment. He thought it was wonderful what he could do with her body. How sensitive she was to his slightest touch.
"Yes − sweet God − it feels so, so good −" She sobbed, on the brink of despair, all hot and red, she felt hot tension rising up inside her, his thumb and finger touching her two most sensitive places at the same time, driving her crazy. She knew her fulfillment was coming, her head tilted back, her mouth parted, panting heavily.
"− A-Aemond − I'm gonna come − och, God −" She mumbled, and he pressed his lips to hers in a greedy kiss, muffling her loud, helpless moan. He didn't want his mother to hear them and come into his room right now, while his future wife was going through a wonderful, intense orgasm.
He grunted in contentment, feeling her walls tighten on him, refusing to let go, his fingers still massaging her gently, feeling, how sensitive her body was now. He pulled away from her and licked his lips. She was trembling under him, looking at him with a hazy, dreamy look, her mouth slightly parted in pleasure.
"Can I touch you now in return?"
_____
Aemond Taglist:
(bold means I couldn't tag you)
@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @astral-blossoms @randomdragonfires @amirawritespoorly @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes @darylandbethfanforever9 @fudge13 @snh96 @diosademuerte
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ethereal555 · 8 hours ago
Text
FUCK BOY PT.1
player!jude x stonerblackfem!reader
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You laugh, not quite believing your ears, “What?'
'Please don't make me say it again. Honestly baby, I'll never forgive myself'.
You fixate on him. The man you loved, gave your body to and had the lowest of lows with has done the one thing he promised never to do.
He betrayed you.
You get off of the couch, as if it’d become hot lava. You feel your blood vigorously pumping through your veins, heating up your cheeks and ears. Like church bells had just gone off, your ears were ringing.
“Get out my flat - now” you forced out shakily, you felt as if your throat was closing in. Your chest raising rapidly.
He blinks, as if I was speaking a foregin language.
'No, sit down' he pleads reaching for my hand. You swat his hand off of you, taking a huge step away from him.
“Jude please, I don’t want you to touch me. How dare you think you can even come into my home right after disrepecting me? Do you think I'm a joke?” you pant
'I'm not going to even ask you why you did it? She's clearly who you wanted all along. The world's right; you only got with a black girl to make your Mum feel better. I swear I should have listenied when they called you a man!fucking!whore”.
'I've wasted my time with you, time I'll never get back'! I realise in hysterics. You feel like someone has hit a wong in your ear, its an intense feeling you feel in your head. You cover your ears to silence your thoughts that were going off on autopilot.
You pace around going on a tangent, finding all the offesive words in the dictiionary to throw at him. You search to find any small inanimate objects to throw at him, a way to inflict the hurt you felt emotionally onto him.
'Yeah, Yeah,ok' he bitterly chuckled trying to play off as unfazed, as if all the lethal words you spat had fallen upon deaf ears. His jaw was tense, it was taking everything for him not to shut you up himself, but he knew how genuinely wrong he was in this situation and how much he deserved the names so he decided against taking any action. This time.
You scower the kitchen trying to find any items that were bought for you by him. You take the Gucci scarf off of your kitchen highchair, lobbing it at him. He sat there, with the nerve to have a scowl of his face 'Take it' you yelled as you threw the cloth. 'I don't want anything of yours, you're disgusting'.
It landed on his face, and he, in an act of self -discipline didn't react, folded it up placing next to him on your couch, licking his lips. I must admit it must've taken a lot for him to not retaliate, the Jude last year was another story.
'This too’', you removed the burgundy coloured Van Cleef bracelet he had gifted you for your birthday back in May, aiming it for his face. The athletic boy, with instincts like a cat, caught this too, placing it untop of the scarf next to him. His left leg was shaking with irritation. A scowl on his face. His teeth tucked into his plump bottom lip as he sat back cross armed on the couch, pissed.
“You're not fucking intimidating me, not in my own house. Good try. GET the fuck OUT JUDE!”
I was seeing red, because he wasn't listening to me. My nose and eyes running like a water fountain. I looked a hot mess. I wipe my face with the back of my hands. Embarrassed.
To my advantage, I find my tedbaker slippers on the floor near the door. I laugh at myself picking it up with full intention to throw it -
He stand ups “Don’t you fucking dare, I swear to God Tiana act like you have some fucking sense”.
'I will do whatever the fuck I want to you. You’re not welcome here anymore, I dont want you in my house anymore. Listen to me Jude, for once... leave' I cry, shaking. “I’ve told you to leave and you’re still here”
“I can’t, I can't leave you. Why dont you listen to me for once, just once, I can explain” he fought shouting over her cries.
'Why dont you understand' i hiccup, 'i cant, i physically cant sit here, whilst you, a fucking vile the vilest man ive ever met, wants to speak, to me and justify him sleeping with someone he's lied to me about for 8 FUCKING MONTHS'
' A bitch that racially abused me, and you fucking too? You are not worth anymore of my time. Like, really Jude? Are you that fucking desperate for pussy? Are you that desperate to hurt me? For fucks sake, if you really needed to fuck someone, at least fuck someone that resemebles the woman you claim to love 'more than football' she looks nothing like me Jude' you drag..
'It didn't happen rec-' he started
You felt the waterworks again but you didnt want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. It was the fact he wasn't understanding that him explaining the details was causing you to have to envision him with another woman. Having had enough of this row, you turn around immediately going to your cabinet to get your pre rolled blunt.
'I wasn't in the right mind, I have no excuse, it was a genuine mistake. Baby, please..' he argued.
You turn on your stove, shoving your blunt into it, to light it. You sit on your counter once it finally draws and you inhale deeply, making sure to cough so it hit you harder, Cali. You weren’t in the right mental headspace to deal with this sober.
“You hear me Ti?” he begged
It was like pathetic fallacy, a dark day for you emotionally and the only things illuminating the house were the many Central London streetlights outside your grand glass windows as well as your purple led's shining from your room upstairs.
'You can check my phone, my social media DM’s, theres not one trace of a woman Tianna, because I've decided all I need you. You don't understand I cant do it without you- this thing called life, no. Hell i cant even go a day without thinking about you and the life we could have’ he confesses clapsing at his heart.
Then there's a deafening silence.
You transfix on him fresh tears still imprinted on your cheeks, as you inhale, one toke after another after another. You both hold each other’s eye contact for a split second, before you withdraw focusing on your blunt.
The boy you loved most in the world, now turned traitor, sat across from you looking helpless. The only things that can be heard in the flat were both your infrequent sniffles, your sharp inhales and distant modes of transport outside.
Emptiness.
He rubs his eyes, typical, always seeming to cry when you cried, excusing it as something he couldnt help because he loved you so much. Well if only he thought of that before he decided to fuck the bimbo.
You snigger, you’re eyes low, the weed has you feeling like you’re floating.
“Jayy” You drag, your head and body feeling extremely light
“Yeah, yes” he answers quick, attentive
“You know, it’s a true shame, for Denise. I just wonder, like, if only she knew what an absolute bitch she would have raised before having you, would she have had an a-' you giggle
' Don't finish that sentence or we'll have a problem' he growls shooting up, charging towards me.
'Get up off the counter now, Tiana. Have you lost your fucking mind?' he spat. His natural doe - shaped eyes enlarged with anger, this dark brows furrowed.
You look at him, your giggles disentergrating into the air just like your weed smoke, daring him to do what he's been doing indirecting for the past 8 months.
'Fucking dare do what, what are you going to do about it? Hm, Jude? I’m going to continue to make you feel like shit until you leave because I’ve asked you to LEAVE MY HOUSE and you're still here, so take the insult”. You take another puff of your blunt, feeling the anger rising again.
Granted, the blunt was probably making you say things you shouldn't, he deserved it.
“I could’ve hurt you, so so badly” he lets out his jaw clenched.
'I beg your pardon?, you fucking idiot what do you think I'm -“
'Shut up and let me talk, i could have kept it silent and have the whole world find out at the same time as you, but i didnt. i've flown here on Chrismas to tell you. To be here I’ve sacrificed spending time with my brother and my parents. I've literally put your feelings and wellbeing first before my families,before mine but you're too bloody dense to be objective and see things from another person's perspective'.
You drop your blunt on the counter, hopping off of it. At the same time, not caring if you blew the rest out in his face, although you knew he hated the smell.
'I don’t give a fuck about how it all unravels, or who's feeling you are putting first over others. You got your self here in the first place, you wouldnt be in this predicament if you had some sense about you; and stayed loyal to what we have built. And shit, even if you genuinely needed to fuck a girl, do better next time and fuck a woman who wont go round running your business, dumb boy. But you're too thick and pussy hungry to realise that' she seethed pushing at his chest with every last world.
'Jude, we are sooooooo done' you ridicule 'i cant actually emphasise it enough'
'We're not, technically can't be. Tiana, we havent been together since March, which is another reason I dont know why you're so angry'
You sneer, clenching your fists as your sides. Your nostrils flared, you decided against screaming or shouting; you didn't have the energy. So using up all the mature strength you could muster, you leave to go to your room. Genuine rage and shock slapped onto your facial features. You barge past him walking at high speed until he grips your wrist pulling you back to stand infront of him.
'Don't walk away from me when I''m speaking to you.' you snatch out of his harsh grasp.
You push at his chest, 'I've told you stop touching me, Jude. I'm walking away because this conversation can't be had with a 2 year old.'
'And who's the two year old?, I havent been the one throwing a fucking tantrum this whole time and gettting high thinking it’s cool, whilst an adult has been trying to have a mature conversation with you! He spits.
'A tantrum ? I have everyright to be fuming. You’re so lucky I'm high right now you should thank God because, if I was sober you know exactly what would happen' you threaten.
'Yeah I do know, because that’s the type of person you are. You’re so quick to dehumanise people',
“And rightfully so for you at least.. so... where do we go from here? Nowhere, bye. Shut the door after you'.
You push yourself off of the kitchen counter, that you were reluctantly leaning on.
'Stop fucking walking away from me. Tiana. We’re not finished. Act your fucking age', he exclaimed trapping you between himself and the counter, leaving no room for you too escape. Both his arms, decorated in bulging green veins, clenched either side of you.
He gets in my face as if you make it clear to me ‘I’m going to ask you again ok.. Why are you so fucking angry?'
'BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL FUCKING ME JUDE ME !!! WHAT DONT YOU UNDERSTAND!! you rage in this face.
You feel you're eyes watering again so you break out from his constraint and turn around to go a relight your blunt before taking another 3 tokes.
“What type of question is that-have you no emotional intelligence or sympathy?” you exhale
'Because you fly me out to Madrid to fuck and hang out. You choose to spend time with me when instead you could be with your family or friends. You come over here during you're off season to fuck me, kiss me, cuddle me, give me presents, bags and jewellery. You eat my ass, we've been fucking on my period for Gods sake - all these things have happened whilst we've been broken up. so dont - please dont try to play it like we're just sneaky links, sneaky links dont have history , sneaky links are not ex's'
'For Jobe’s birthday you flew me out, for Mark’s and Denise’s birthday you flew me out to celebrate with you and them. When you went to go check on your grandma I was there, all of this happened when we were broken up. Doesn’t this sound particularly “together” to you ?
'I explicitly rememeber telling you that if this was truly over than the fucking, and seeing each others family and all that had to stop, and then what did you do, you came to London the very next month and stayed 3 nights.'
'So excuse me for feeling cheated on, Jude’ you pant, out of breathe, you take some tissue roll from your counter top, wiping your eyes. Saying all of this makes you feel dumb, and taken advantage off.
He only looks at you, with regret, sympathy. Stillness befriended him. He turns around going to sit down.
“I wish you and Laura the best in the future.”
Jude sits down on your black fur rug, playing with his fingers, something he never did unless we was uncomfortable. His plump lips parted looking at the ground.
He clears his throat, his eyes glazed over. His tone was soft, you'd given a different persepctive he was to blind to have seen
'Love, I've tried to explain to you that there was no emotional connection there with Laura, she was something easy, she was something i used, as horrible as it sounds, to distract myself from the fact that i felt like i might lose you, the love of my life. But now that, well, we were back on track I feel the need to tell you because i don’t want anything in the way of our relationship progression. I - can assure all the while we have been sleeping with other, i swear i havent so much as touched another girl, this happened in early April before we started messing around again. When you gave me the expression it was really done. I needed to tell you about it today, because she’s been threatening to tell people and news outlets. And if she did that-“ he paused swallowing the lump in his throat.
'It would kill me Ti, you have to believe me, i don’t want to do this thing called life without, i'd rather die' he swears.
You stand there watching him, your blunt was now finished and to be honest you were so high, not even his most compassionate love poem would sober you up.
You start to clap, obnoxiously 'Weooooo, and the Oscar goes to Jude Belligoallll, wooooo', you fall into a fit of laughter.
He wasn’t amused. Not one bit. He looks directly at you, his widened eyes connecting with your red hazy ones.
You walk over to sit down infront of him on the floor. He listens attentively.
'Ok that was mean, sorry' you giggle
'Jude you can't hurt me and then apologize expecting everything to be better again, we need to - ' you hesistate trying to find the right words.
'To, level the score, surely. You play football baby, you know how it goes. We need to draw, right now its 1-0 to you. When I score, then its over right because then it'll be 1-1', you advise.
'Between me and you' I lean in closer, he stares following my lips.
'I like the look of Levi', you draw back, you lick your lips. The cotton mouth getting to you.
'I need water Jude, and you look like you've just seen a ghost. So I'll make that two waters, since you're not going to leave anytime soon right?'.
He snickers,a frown on his face when he grabs my jaw, tight.
'You're not going to do such a thing, not to me'
'So what? you can do it but I can't, boy please' you tut trying to leave from his grip.
'Sleep with him or any man for that matter and I swear I'll make you miserable' he swears
Your mouth drops, the audacity you think mentally
'Jude you're insane, clinically -'
' I mean just think of all the friends you've lost, because they were trying to fuck me, all those friends you've had to cut off are at my beck and call you know that right'
'You wouldnt dare' you snatch out of his grip on your jaw. You felt dizzy moving your head too fast, and the cali was only intensifiying both feeling of heartbreak and dizziness.
'I actually hate you Jude, oh my God, why would you say that?" you softly cried. It was such as slap in your face, espeically because those women he was mentioning were childhood bestfriends that it had taken you ages to get over, still to this day.
You stumble up, stomping into your room, slamming the door shut.
'What, are your feelings hurt baby?" he shouts after me, mockingly. His voice following me up the stairs.
---
part 2 may have smut
this was requested, a toxic jude. this page is for my girls that have been through many toxic relationships. im here to heal you LMAOO
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0bticeo · 7 months ago
Text
j. sims, e. bouchard | knowledge is a double-edged sword
part two of four. (part one.) (part 3.) (part four.)
summary:
a low hum. there’s something sharp in elias' smile. his gaze feels like it’s cutting you open. you hold your ground, unblinking, watching him and his annoyingly handsome face. 
“you’re wearing a mask, dear.”
“aren’t we all?”
wc. 3k
tw. reader's creeping paranoia, shockinlgy nothing smutty happens in this chapter, manipulation, graphic description of eyes, mild ptsd, nightmares, elias bouchard being a creep.
working in the archives has always been… a little off, for a lack of a better word. you are supposed to research and archive statements regarding “supernatural happenings” in a world where said supernatural has been swiped under the carpet, dismissed with a haughty scoff. still, it pays well. which is why you find yourself clocking in day after day. 
your colleagues… you don’t know what to make of them. not really. sasha’s been… off. you think there’s a void in the shape of her roaming about the place. she’s calm and focused. formal. has trouble logging in her computer - that’s… not right.
martin seems to be taking it well enough for someone who’s spent the past two months sleeping in the archives and then getting attacked by worms. sounds silly. definitely wasn’t. you think there’s much, much more to him than meets the eye and and accept the cups of coffee he hands you with a warm smile. you mean them. you like martin. his poetry a bit less. 
tim… is silent. he’s lost his smile. you haven’t fallen victim to one of his pranks in ages and fear you won’t ever have to worry about a sketchy statement being one of his little jokes. you feel anger bubbling inside of him at the mere mention of having to work in the archives. yet…
yet he’s helping you. 
the library is a quiet affair, the muted sort of silence that hangs like a comforting blanket over your shoulders. dust flutters away in the air, drawn by your steps. tim’s sigh cuts through the silence like a knife.
“why are we doing this again?”
you tuck back a book in its shelf. thankfully, not a leitner. still, nothing to do with architecture.
“because it is our job, tim.”
he scoffs.
“yeah, right. i wasn’t aware it involved risking my life.”
“look, you’re not forced to help me. if it makes you feel better to slack off, then i’m not stopping you.”
he laughs, mocking, almost cruel. the pressure at the back of your neck is near unbearable. you want to scream. you want to tear something apart.
“look at you! acting like everything’s normal! three months ago, you were bleeding out on my lap! how can you-”
“it’s either i focus on something else or i go mad.” you snap a book shut with a sharp intake of air. “you won’t like me mad, tim. now shut up and help me find robert smirke’s books, will you? i’m pretty sure they were there, but-”
his hand clasps around your wrist. 
“hold on. why are you looking for smirke’s books?”
“follow up on a statement involving urbex in the former church of saint james in west hackney. built by, you guessed it, robert smirke himself.”
you watch a flash of… something in his eyes. it looks like guilt in mourning, and you’re itching to pry, pry him open and unearth whatever secrets he keeps buried under a thick layer of good humour turned bitter. 
“it should be around here.”
you end up with three heavy volumes in hand, none of which feel like they’ll help with erin gallagher-nelson’s statement. then, something catches your attention. a small leather volume, tucked away behind the books you’re currently holding. tim’s already on his way out, much to your chagrin. you don’t feel too guilty when you reach for the small little book and tuck away those he’s helped you find, neatly ordered in their rightful place.
the little book in your hand is… not a leitner, which is a relief as you are not wearing gloves. no, it’s bound leather, with no title in sight. you open it, carefully, cradling it against your breast like something fragile, and cast your gaze upon its first page. the juts out in ink far too dark for its age.
the fears that bind us.
turn another page and see the summary. fourteen entries, neatly labelled. the Web. the Dark. the Spiral. the Buried. you pause.
the pinprick pain at your neck sharpens. you’re Watched. there’s nobody but you in the library, but there’s something, watching, always watching, and you can make eyes in the corners of the shelves and they’re peering down at you and they Know you’re starting to suspect something’s terribly wrong with this place and-
thud.
the book falls from your trembling hands. dust rises up, clings to the hem of your trousers. you stare at the dull, unassuming little leather cover and feel its magnetic pull. you Know there’s more to it than it lets on. you pick it up.
(somewhere, the chittering mass of the many-legged mother of puppets spins a chain of events into motion, weaving a pretty plan.)
*
these days, stepping in the institute feels like being strapped down to a vivisection table and having your brain prodded at. it’s oppressive. you become aware of just how many eyes there are in the institute. coworkers from other departments glancing disinterestedly at you. strange motives in the nooks and crannies of the wooden doors and shelves and corridors and floors, eyes half-lidded. pictures and their faded edges, you, tim, martin, jon and sasha (?) huddling close, smiling. portraits - jonah magnus, high and mighty, immortalised in his seat of power. you think his painted lips are curled up a little more than they normally are. you’ve seen that floating smile before.
you take to having your lunch outside of the institute. you find you can breathe easier through the sharp cold of london’s winter air. needle-sharp, it pierces your lungs, scrapes your throat with every mouthful of curry you swallow. you don’t mind. you have jon to huddle close to, no matter how much he rolls his eyes and tells you to take a warmer coat with you. still, he wraps his arm around you and intertwine his fingers with yours.
tim and martin make no comment - you do feel the weight of their gaze on your shoulders as you make your way back to your desk ten minutes sharp after jon comes back to his office. doesn’t matter. by now, you’re used to being watched.
you’re growing tired of it.
going home is no relief - that damned gaze is there, too. you clench your teeth and turn all the mirrors around and tuck away what little pictures you have. your breathing stutters in your throat. there’s a cork board on your wall, now, and you think of the one that lies in jon’s office, red strings stretching and stretching and it still doesn’t make sense. not yet. 
gertrude’s dead - somebody’s murdered her, three bullets, bang, the body falls, bang, bang just to make sure the old bat is dead, a waste of an Archivist. 
jon wants to know who. he tells you, fingers threading through his hair, tape recorder still running, that it could be anyone at that’s been working at the institute since five years. you’ve been hired two years ago, so you’re good, but tim? martin? sasha? elias?
(you’ve pressed your lips to jon’s and sworn to help him, forehead pressed against him in the sweetest oath.)
there are scraps of hastily jotted down notes, pictures faded at the edges. recurring people from statements - gerry keay, michael shelley, simon fairchild, prentiss, salesa. hilltop road. recurring themes, artefacts you took pain to research, asking sasha for help - she did work in artefact storage before, right?
(her smile was sharp when she nodded. too sharp. she laughed as she led you to the basement floor, something like a deadly private joke. you didn’t ask for her help again.)
you take a step back and stare at the board. the strings make no sense, red over red over red, and you have an eye staring back at you, unblinking, thread burned in your retina. 
smirke’s book lies open on your couch. your cat wisely stays away from it. you’ve named him socrates for a reason. you wish you could be blessed with the sage’s foresight.
fears bind you. there’s a classification, Entities that sometimes bleed in the corners of this world, out-of-sight-but-there. you’ll only notice when they strike. when they show themselves, when you realise there’s something terribly wrong with the stranger’s edges peering out of an alleyway, anglerfish luring its prey. poor smoker’s fate. 
a classification. fourteen primal fears straight out of the lovecraftian mythos. the stranger. the Spiral - think of michael, smile curling endlessly in all his sharp edges, laugh like an alarm bell ringing long after he’s gone. the Corruption - jane prentiss and her loving smile and worms burrowing in her flesh and in yours. 
the Eye.
you take in a sharp intake of air and read. 
IT KNOWS YOU.
*
you cannot move. you’re crushed by the sheer magnitude of the structure spreading around you in concentric circles of power. panopticon. he who stands in the centre watches and knows all. is there anyone at all in its centre?
you. you’re kneeling, skin bare and bruised and scraped, the stone harsh and unforgiving, scraping the tender skin of your knee. humidity seeps in through the open pores of your skin. 
you can’t see. it’s too dark, the penumbra stretching and stretching for miles, near corporeal with how thick it is. you think it might be reaching out for your eyes with too long fingers, chipped claws sinking below your eyelid to rip them off. 
you startle.
eyes.
so many eyes, staring at you from the darkness encasing you, with no eyelids so they do not blink. there’s the dreadful suspicion that their optic nerves join, mingle into something you do not want to see. ocular globes, little gelatinous spheres surrounding you, Watching you, Knowing you. you, on your bloody knees, heart stammering under your ribcage like a chased rabbit, your bare flesh cold, cold, cold. 
it’s cutting you open, scalpel gazes making careful, careful incisions in the marrow of your psyche. they’re carving open your head, your skull a neat, organic little box housing the grey matter of your brain. cerebrospinal fluid drips down your cheeks.
you shudder. you can feel them, Watching, Knowing, the mere thought of it a burning streak in your consciousness, they’re picking you apart, they Know what you’ve done, how you break-
you only start screaming when you look up and See.
you startle awake with a shuddering gasp, trembling so badly you can’t even make out the familiarity of your bedroom. breathe in. the darkness isn’t cloying, the street lights worming their way beneath your shutters. breathe out. you can hear the cars running, the nocturnal hustle and bustle of london’s night life. the chatter, the laughter. 
you let out a trembling sigh and run your hand over your face. you find it damp with sweat and tears. a beat of silence. you rest your forehead on your palms, hands gliding down until the heel of your palm is over your socket and you push there until you feel the bone, the gelatinous fragility of your eye. it is not the first time you have these dreams. you wish you could sleep.
you trace the edges of your temples, those you know were left gaping, those you know had been wrenched open- closed. no scar. only those on your thighs, on your forearms, on your hands from these wretched worms.
you close your fingers, nails digging in your bandaged palm and feel a pinprick of pain. the other side of the bed is cold and empty. you glance at the analog clock on your bedside table. the time blares, angry red flashing 5:32 in your retina. three hours left before going to work. 
you get up from the bed and set about changing your sweat-soaked sheets. you’re not going to fall back asleep. might as well get ready for work. you do, body set in autopilot. breakfast. shower. lather hydrating cream over the expanse of you. disinfect the many, many patches of scarred tissues left by the flesh-hive. get dressed - black tailored pants, cream crispy ironed shirt. a spritz of perfume. white flats. a quick glance in the mirror - there you are, the epitome of professional perfection, little miss trust-me-i-have-everything-under-control. 
you don’t.
you’re tired. so, so very tired. exhaustion settles like a heavy weight in your bone marrow, anchors you down until your whole world is clouded. foggy. you don’t remember the last time you’ve pushed the door to the archives without a thin veil clouding your eyes. 
you think of the Narrator, unnamed, bone-deep tired, staring emptily in the camera in a film you can’t say the name of. first rule: you do not talk about it. second rule: you do not, talk about it. everything’s a copy of a copy of a copy.
as it goes, you push the door to the archives, step inside the quiet room, shrug off your coat at your designated desk, and go about making yourself some coffee. nobody’s there to plot your bloody murder as you blankly explain that, to you, tea is nothing but bland leaf juice. not that tim or martin would bother these days.
it’s quiet. nobody’s here to see you climb the stairs to the break room on the second floor. the one used by the human resources department. lucky bastards. bastards, period. refusing to hand over the necessary funds to buy another coffee machine for the archives after the first one broke during prentiss’ infestation. and they say their mission is to foster a safe work environment. such a shame your morning murderous urges are only quelled by your second cup of the day.
you grab a mug and press the button. whirring rises in the dry silence of the room. slowly, slowly, the mug is filled up. you inhale and feel your shoulders relax by half a fraction. the heavenly scent of grounded coffee beans percolating feels the room and you find yourself smiling. it doesn’t ease the fogginess clouding your mind. it will do.
large window panes offer a wide overview of the streets below, the early morning fog clinging to humid asphalt, the rare cars passing by. you let out a slow exhale, your breath clouding the window.
your mug is ready.
“is that one for me?”
you startle.
elias bouchard stands behind you, hands clasped behind his back, picture perfect manager in a crisp suit - too stiff, too out of place in his employee’s break room. he’s wearing a phthalo green suit, the one that brings out the green-grey of his eyes. your favourite. and he’s waiting for your answer, you realise after an embarrassingly long amount of time.
there are two mugs in front of you. you blink.
“oh. oh, yes.”
you hand him the first mug and reach for your own. he thanks you with a floating smile and takes a sip. a low hum. 
“so you do have taste.”
you blink.
he’s reclining on a table, watching you. you and your impeccably ironed shirt, cradling your mug like one would something precious. you and the bags under your eyes, so dark they might be embedded in the preciously thin skin below your eyelids.
you snort. 
“just because i have a massive sweet tooth doesn’t mean i’d put sugar in coffee. i’m french, not a complete barbarian.”
you earn a quiet chuckle. something like satisfaction purrs inside of you - you made him laugh, the sound low and rich and deep.
“one might argue that you are, in the literal sense of the term, a barbarian.”
“one might argue that the etymological definition of a barbarian doesn’t apply to me, as i speak your language.”
you watch him, from over the steaming rim of your mug. something like… elation flashes in his eyes. the thrill of debate, maybe.
“do you, now?”
you tilt your head to the side, eyes narrowing by a fraction as you assess him. the perfect curl of his lips in that damning razor sharp half-smile. the relaxed slope of his shoulders. the soft stillness of his long, gloved fingers on the table. the glint in his green-grey eyes, daring you to take the bait.
you do, crossing your legs at the ankles, leaning back against the window.
“at first glance, yes.” you point an accusatory finger towards him. “but you, monsieur bouchard, don’t like sticking to first glances and faux-semblants, you’re sharper than that.”
a low hum. there’s something sharp in his smile. his gaze feels like it’s cutting you open. you hold your ground, unblinking, watching him and his annoyingly handsome face. 
“you’re wearing a mask, dear.”
“aren’t we all?”
he shakes his head.
“it’s convenient, isn’t it? not to have to bear the weight of your mother tongue.”
your shoulders tense. there’s that pinprick pressure at the back of your neck, standing poised and sharp against your vertebrae. he’s watching you, needle-gaze pinning you like a butterfly to a wall. 
“it’s a pain. english and french bleed into one another too much and it messes up my syntax.”
“you’re deflecting.”
“wasn’t your question rhetorical?”
silence. it feels like a loss. one beat, two beat, unsteady, hammering wildly like your heart, beneath layers of flesh and fabric, all perfectly controlled thank you very much.
he’s before you before you know it, close, close enough for you to smell his cologne - something sharp and cold with a faint hint of ink. you raise your eyes and meet his gaze. you think there’s a faint glow to it, irises flashing green for the briefest moments. 
“you’re hard to pin down, my dear.”
you can feel the heat of him, creeping closer and closer as he leans down ever so slightly, one gloved finger curling under your chin, tilting your head up, up, up until the angle makes you wince.
“coming from you, i’ll take that as a compliment.”
a low hum. the building pressure at your nape has you clenching your teeth. then, finally, he lets go, apparently satisfied with whatever it is he’s found in you.
“thank you for the coffee. it has been most… insightful.”
with that, he leaves, and you stand alone in the break room, coffee mug now cold. even without the unbearable weight of his gaze on you, you feel watched. the only thing remaining in the room with you is the portrait of jonah magnus, peering down at you with storm-grey eyes. somehow, it feels familiar.
you want to scream. you gulp down your coffee and leave an empty mug behind.
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soxcietyy · 9 months ago
Text
Temptation
Chapter 5 -> Chapter 6
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Your dad is tired of you bringing home these unworthy men. None of them being fit to take care of you or to be given the family business since you are the only daughter. He decides to find you someone fit to be your husband and receive help from the father of the church. That’s when you meet Yuta, though just because he goes to church doesn’t mean he’s much of a saint
Mafia, murder, violence, mentions of religion, (will contain other things in the next chapters)
You didn’t react quite fondly when you were given the news. Weddings usually took months, sometimes years to plan out and this man had given you a month? On top of that he decided to drag the day to an earlier date, that being this Saturday? He had told you this the morning after laying in bed for a few minutes awake. He laid in bed shirtless as he had his hands intertwined behind his head. The words coming out of his mouth like if it was nothing serious.
You looked at him shocked trying to process if this was a joke or not. There’s no way he could move the date to be so soon. You waited for him to laugh and say he was kidding but that never quite happened.
“So you just moved the date on your own accord? Why didn’t you come and talk to me about it?” you sit up.
“you would of said no, its fine sweetheart, I promie everything will be set. Including informing everyone about the new date. Just worry about lookin pretty on the wedding day.”
He didn’t break his promise, you did not need to lift a single finger ever since that day. Now you sat infront of a vanity as you had multiple women working on your hair and makeup. You could almost not even recognize yourself in all this fancy stuff. Yuta had really orgized this in a few days? He even invited everyone you had planned to attend. He didn’t miss a single detail that you specified had told him you wanted.
Looking into the mirror you could see Yuta enter through the doors quietly. That was odd, shouldn’t he be getting ready? From the looks of it he was only half ready seeing that his button down was lazily tucked in and the colar was popped up. His bowtie was missing and his hair had yet to be tamed.
You pretended to have not noticed him yet and waited for him to make his first move. Hes an odd person when you think about it. He likes to walk into places undetected you noticed. He’s always trying to find out information about anyone he reads on the news. He sleeps with a gun next to him. While you guys take strolls you notice how people move to the opposite side of the sidewalk from you guys. How people shake his arm or bow at him when they pass by. The fact that you’re not allowed in his study. The way he analyzes you before speaking.
Stepping inside the ladies scurried right out the door one behind the other. You then feel something cold touch your neck as you’re half way to turning to look at him.
He slowly turned you back around so you could face yourself in the mirror. Averting your eyes to your neck you notice that the cold object that was touching you was a neckless. One that seemed to be made out of diamond’s and pearl’s.
“sorry I just wanted to give you a small gift to wear for today.” He said as he clipped it in the back. “you look stunning.” He kisses your neck before taking a step back.
You looked at him with thankful smile in the mirror.
“I also wanted to tell you something, well I don’t know if I should say something like this right before our wedding.” He laughs as he rubs the back of his neck.
“well say it now or forever hold your silence.” You joked
“well I guess your right about that huh?” He got more comfortable with you and rested his face on the top of your head. Resting his big hands on your shoulders. “If anyone objects during the ceremony, I will decapitate them and send each of their body parts back to their parents house every time we celebrate our yearly anniversary.” Yuta whispers as he grabs a lose strand of your hair, he slowly brought it up to his face and inhaled it. You look at him in the mirror not knowing how to respond to something like that. “Haha…I was obviously kidding, anyways ill see you at the alter, cant wait to be able to call you mine.” He said before walking out the door.
Everything was happening too fast. Was it normal to feel this way? Was it normal to feel sick? For your plams to be sweaty? Was it normal to see so many men in suites standing with you by the door? Was it normal for them to have guns in their hands? People standing there watching you as if you were going to run away. Seeing medical staff standing on the side of the building.
In the blink of an eye you watch as the double doors open in front of you. The music starts playing as you stood there frozen. This was really happening right now. You were going to get married to a guy you met not too long ago. An average girl would be thrilled about having such an eventful thing but your heart dropped. Looking inside at the crowed that turned to face you made you want to walk away. On the left side was your family and everybody else you’ve invited. On the right was Yutas side, they all consisted of men and a few females but what they all had in common was that hey held big guns that rested in their hands. You stood there frozen not wanting to move an inch but someone nudged your shoulder.
Turning around you see your dad looking at you with an expressionless face. He grabs your hand and puts it around his arm. The wedding music started to get louder once you were made to walk down. All eyes were on you, you could feel how they followed along. You could hear whispers and laughs. You and your dad didn’t exchange any looks in the process of him walking you down. Finally reaching the alter you dad lets go of you and takes his leave.
Yuta stood infront of you wearing his nice black suite. Not only that but a gun in his hand that he kept playing with the safety lock. He looks up at you with such a kind smile. One you were doubting was real at this point.
Father began talking after everyone settled down. He pulled out his book and started speaking. Going on and on about marriage. You looked down at Yuta’s watch, watching the seconds go by slowly. For some odd reason it felt like you were finally self aware of everything. This wasn’t normal at all..
As the father went on and on about what marriage was, you could feel the palm’s of your hand’s begin to sweat. You know that gut feeling you get when something bad it going to happen? Well yea you were feeling it and you felt like puking. You must of looked like you were having a hard time because Yuta gave you a supportive smile.
Finally reaching the end you felt relieved after what seemed like hours.
"If anyone objects to the marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest says taking a pause.
Yuta turned around toward the people with a smile plastered on his face. Hand reaching to grab the pistol that he neatly shoved into his waist band a while ago. Clearly waiting to see if anyone dared to object. Everyone remained seated with a nervous look.
"Y/n do you take Yuta to be your husband, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, as long as you both shall live?"
"I do"
"Yuta, do you take y/n to be your wife, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?"
"I do"
The both of you exchange wedding rings and bands as you state your vows.
"Yuta and y/n , having witnessed your marriage vows in the eyes of God and before all who are assembled here, by the authority invested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride!"
Loud music starts playing as Yuta pulled you right in kissing you so passionately. His hands having a firm grip on your waist almost as if he thought you would run away. His lips devouring yours instantly making you feel dazed. Letting go he grabbed your hand and walked you down the aisle. People clapped and cheered as you guys walked. Reaching the end you look at Yuta with a happy look.
"Did I miss it?!" You hear someone yell.
Turning to the left you see your best friend running in. He was drenched in sweat from running in a tuxedo. You were shocked to see him like this and to know he missed everything. He was a man your size that you’ve been friends with since childhood. He had such fair skin, blond hair, and his eyes glowed green when he was in the sun.
"Fuck, don’t tell me I’m late?! I was going to object! PLEASE PRIEST!" He begged father who was still standing at the alter.
Before he could say anything else you watch in horror as Yuta pulls a gun out and shoots him three times in the chest. You let out a scream unknowingly as you watch him drop onto the floor.
"What a waste of oxygen." Yuta rolls his eyes. "At least your already dressed nicely for your funeral." Yuta snickers as he walks over you best friends lifeless body.
He tugs your arm but you don’t seem to move. You were in such a state of shock that your body no longer seemed to function. Letting out a heavy sigh he picks you up so easily and carries you to the car in bridal style. Placing you in the front he leaves a kiss on your forehead.
"You killed him…" you look at his with watery eyes.
"Oh, did you want him that bad? Should I of shot myself instead so you could lived happily? Because it seems like you love that man more than me." Yuta grabs his gun and faces it towards him.
"No!" You yell, "that’s not what im trying to say! I just… why did you have to kill him?" You say
"Because his death wouldn’t of been so nice if my men did it." Yuta slams your door.
_________
Yuta was annoyed, not only because he was doing all of this but because someone was actually going to object. That would mean that they would have to restart the ceremony but since the father had a busy schedule then it would mean that he would have to plan another wedding. He just hated the thought of his plans being ruined.
Thankfully Yuta had made his men do research on each person on your guest list. When he found out that you had a guy best friend he took it upon himself to hand deliver the invitation.
The guy lived in the slums making Yuta doubt that he would object a wedding. From the looks of it he wouldn’t be able to afford a wedding. Nor would he be able to afford your life style. Yuta also didn’t think you would lower status to be with one from the slums. Then again you were a idiot.
He wait’s by the front after he nocks at the old wooden door. It took a few second for the malnourished twink to answer. Yuta couldn’t help but look at him up and down in a judgmental way.
"Im here to invite you to y/n’s wedding, she wants you to be there." Yuta says.
The man look taken aback almost as if Yuta just told him that’s his parents died.
"She’s getting married?!" He says
His reaction didn’t seem good. He definitely had to do something about this.
"Yes, to me. Also there was an error during the printing stage. It’s supposed to start at twelve not end at twelve. Have a good day." Yuta says as he turned around.
Obviously if he did have bad intentions then Yuta gave him the wrong time. If he didn’t then oh well.
The second that man even mentioned stopping the wedding in front of Yuta he decided he would kill him on the spot. He didn’t have time for a boy like him to fill your gullible head with ideas.
Yuta and the group on men that followed right behind him entered an outside venue he had rented out. He made you pull yourself together in the car on your own. You were a mess on way here, sobbing, whining and you would punch him occasionally. He let you hit him to take your anger out on him but he made sure you wouldn’t hit him face. You eyes were in so much pain and you sight was blurry. So blurry you couldn’t enjoy the sight of the event. You had designed and helped decorate this area. Just for you to not be able to enjoy it at the end.
He could appreciate creativity and good work but what he couldn’t was the attitude you were currently giving him. You ignored him everytime he would try to talk to you. He left you alone here and there but would come back for another attempt.
"Y/n the guest are wondering where my wife is." Yuta says annoyed. He opens your car door and cups your face. "Look, I’m sorry sweetheart but I had to. Did you know that man was working with the people that are harassing your dad?" Yuta makes you look at him.
You stay silent.
Letting a sigh out he pulls you out the car and fixes your dress. He whips your tears away and helps you fix your makeup. When he was done he turned around and you notice a tall man behind him.
"Y/n this is my cousin Gojo." Yuta present’s someone to you.
Your breath hitches as you see the pin he was wearing on his collar. It’s exactly like the one Yuta has at home. Does this mean he is the CEO of the Gojo franchises? The man was pretty tall and had such interesting features. This was the first man Yuta had even bothered to call family.
"Hello," you say trying to not cry anymore from what happened not too long ago.
"Aw, where you crying pretty girl? Did Yuta do something mean to you?" He says getting closer.
You look up at Yuta who rolled his eyes. You end up shaking your head not wanting to make the situation worst.
"No need to lie, I know him like the back of my hand. Now tell me what did he do so I can scold him." Gojo looks back at Yuta.
You hesitated but when were you going to get the chance to rant about such thing. "Well…he killed my best friend in front of me after the ceremony!" You squeeze your dress from the sides hoping it would help contain yourself.
Gojos eyes widen, obviously he had been told that you were crying over a small issue. "Yuta at least do it the day after the wedding! It this woman’s special day! You just ruined it for her, poor girl." He mumbled as he tried to comfort you with a hug.
"I’ll take that into consideration for next time her friends try to get into our relationship." Yuta pulls Gojo away from you. He dragged him to a quiet corner of the party and pushed him against the tree.
"What the hell are you doing? She’s going to be gone by tomorrow if you keep this up." Gojo puts his arm on Yutas shoulder
"She’s not going anywhere," Yuta shrugs his hand off and walks away.
"The purpose of this was for you to fall in love! Not for you to just have your god damn offspring." Gojo says.
Walking to the opposite side of the party he pulls out a Cigar. He felt like he needed to release all this pent up frustration. He felt like it wouldn’t end until this party was over. If it were up to him he wouldn’t of done this but you were begging him for a after party. Patting his pockets he realizes that he didn’t put a lighter on him. Letting out a loud sigh he throws his head back.
"I was surprised you invited me." He hears a man speak.
Great, just what he needed, another person to talk to. Yuta looks towards there direction and sees it Fushiguro, the head of the Zenin clan. He had decided to invite him to the after party for his own benefit. If he was able to befriend him then business would be booming for Yuta. He gives Fushiguro a pleasing smile and extends his arm out for a handshake. The man glady took it with a firm grip.
"We’re in the same industry, thought it would be nice to make friends. I’m not really part of the Zenin and Gojo drama as you can in the name." Yuta says pointing at the welcome sigh that showed his last name on it.
"Yea, Iv been trying to fix this mess ever since I became the head. Glad you invited me, hopefully we can make a better future for our families." Fushiguro smiles.
Pulling a lighter from his pocket he flick it on and puts it under Yutas gaze. Yuta immediately put’s the tip of his cigar over the flame and watched as it started to burn. “Yea, let’s do that."
The party went smoothly as it was planned. No other interferences happened, thank god. You dragged him around the party forcing him to do idiotic wedding traditions. You guys took an annoying amount of photos and ate too many sweets. To anyone this would be a dream, to Yuta it was a nightmare. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep.
"Would it kill you to smile?" Inumaki says as he passes Yuta a glass of wine.
Accepting the kind gesture he brings it up to his nose and takes a whiff of it. Once he smells the exact brand he pours it onto the grass. You would never catch him drinking such wine. It was unfortunate his wife belonged to the family that founded this company.
"You know the answer to that already, how was your vacation?" Yuta grumbles.
If it were up to Yuta then Inumaki wouldn’t have taken a last minute trip. That’s why the sucker straight up left without informing him. He had to find out from his men that Inumaki had just boarded a flight.
"Splendid, can’t believe you’re married. I mean common you with a female? She seems feisty too." Inumaki smirks.
They were both currently watching as you were trying to stop your uncle from taking another shot.
"You’ve seen me deal with the biggest mob bosses in the states. You’ve seen me kill people with my bare hands. Iv taken two gunshots and still managed to survive and your worried that a girl like her will ruin me? I don’t know whether to feel insulted or not." Yuta looks at him amused.
"I know you, she’s going to humble you well. Ah speaking of look she’s coming here with a piece of cake." Inumaki says.
You show up infront of Yuta and hover a spoon full of cake near his mouth. As he opens his mouth to decline you decide to shove the spoon deep into his mouth. You hear him gag and forcibly swallowed the cake.
"What are are trying to do? Ki-"
"Mrs. Okkotsu! So nice to meet you, my name is Inumaki. We’ll be seeing each other more often than you think." Inumaki cuts in before his boss could blow up on you.
If he knew Yuta correctly then he knew he had an image to keep up. That is until you guys get home, then he’s probably going to drop the mister nice act. Inumaki would say that Yuta wasn’t a horrible person at all, he was just cold. He likes when things go his way, he likes silence, and order.
After the party Yuta dragged his feet inside the house. You made him carry each gift. While you didn’t help at all, because how could he possibly make you lift up anything with those delicate hands. Dropping everything onto the floor he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into the room with him.
He had made sure to tell his men to be back in duty by tonight. They should be guarding right at the entrance doors of his house by now. This letting him be able to let his guard down and to complete his duty as your husband for tonight. Shutting the door behind him he throws you on the bed.
He could see as your innocent eyes widen as they realize what’s about to happen.
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