#i think it's peak journalism

[wazili]

French royalist newspaper progressively freaking out as Napoleon gets closer to Paris

So I don't know if it is a true story but it is hilarious. In his Impressions de Voyage, Alexandre Dumas (who also wrote The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo) recolls reading a few years ago the royalist (and so) anti-Napoleon newspaper Le Moniteur. Every day, he notes the changing tone of headlines as Napoleon, who fled from the island of Elba, approaches Paris :

The cannibal left his lair

The Corsican Ogre has just reached Golfe-Juan

The tiger has arrived at Gap

The monster spent the night in Grenoble

The tyrant has crossed Lyon

The usurper was seen sixty leagues from the capital

Bonaparte is advancing at great strides but will never enter Paris

Napoleon will be under our ramparts tomorrow

The Emperor arrived at Fontainebleau

His Imperial and Royal Majesty arrived yesterday in his Tuileries castle among his loyal subjects

[f-imaginings]

how goes the next chapter of KMKY? i am super keen for more, but obvs take your time!

hi bud! I am 43 pages into the next chapter and it's going well! Here is a tiny sneak peak of the D&D scene!

Having set up a rudimentary game with the graph paper lying around in the lab, Stanford was having an excellent time.

Dipper had brought the board game downstairs, with the rule book, and several key decision cards scattered around the gridded board on the dirt floor of the lab. Having just completed their character sheets, the adventure was about to begin.

“Okay, so my character is a human wizard slash artificer - battlesmith and order of scribes respectively - with an archivist background and I’ve juuust finished my ability scores.” Dipper scribbled on his character sheet, before throwing the sheet down between them. “Boosh!”

“Is that what the kids are saying these days? Boosh?” Ford queried idly, picking up Dipper’s character sheet to read through it.

“Oh, uh, Wendy – I mean, someone really cool said it once and I guess I just kind of picked it up. It’s not like everyone’s saying it.” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, trying to play it off.

“It was hard enough keeping track of the popular slang back in the 80s.” Ford rubbed his chin, impressed by Dipper’s clever allocation of his ability points. “I guess a lot can change in 30 years. I like that you chose artificer for your class. My old friend Fiddleford used to choose artificer too, but he was always more of an alchemist than a battlesmith.”

“Huh. I guess that makes sense.” Dipper frowned, looking down at his notepad. “You two were really close then.”

“As thick as thieves.” Ford confirmed with a nod, filling out his own character sheet. “Before everything with the portal came to a head of course. And – there, that’s my character sheet done.”

Reaching over to read through it, all thoughts of McGucket set aside in favour of the game, Dipper blinked at Ford’s character sheet, surprised.

“Warlock/Fighter multiclass? Really?” He looked between Ford’s ready grin, and the character sheet, squinting at the details. “Shouldn’t your charisma stats be higher than intelligence if you’re playing a warlock. Charisma is the spell modifier.”

“I’ve never really understood why it’s not an intelligence class myself, but given the scope for multi-classing, I can leverage both classes and become an eldritch knight. There’s not a lot a good eldritch blast can’t take care of, in my experience. It’s just like a laser gun!”

“Fair enough.” Dipper shrugged, moving his character piece around on the board. “Great Uncle Ford, how did you get other people to play this game with you? I keep thinking Mabel would love to play this, but I just can’t convince her. I get the feeling she would be a bard, if she gave it a shot. And Wendy could totally be a Ranger!”

“Stanley mentioned Mabel is musically inclined.” Ford rubbed his chin, considering his past attempts to get others to play with him. Stanley never did, choosing instead to mock him, and the only other person he successfully coerced to play was Bill, but he never truly committed to the experience. “You could always try bribery, that sometimes works.”

“And bribe her with what?” Dipper shook his head, before sighing. “Never mind. At least I get to play with you.”

“Are you ready?” Ford questioned, bringing Dipper’s focus back to the board, picking up the 38-sided die and rolling it between his knuckles.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Dipper said gamely, crossing his legs more comfortably beneath him.

“Alright.” Ford waved his hand across the board, sitting behind the cardboard cut out of Probabilitor the Annoying, setting the scene. “The reigning monarch of the land of Mathematica has put out a call for mercenaries across the land to take up a quest to rescue his daughter, Princess Unattainabelle from the devious clutches of the King’s arch enemy, Probabilitor the Annoying, the worst wizard in all of the land. Your task, should you prove worthy, is to gather your party and venture forth into the Algebraic Swamplands, to Probabilitor’s castle deep within his dominion, and brave his radius of evil to find the Princess and rescue her from his sweaty clutches. Your quest’s probability of success is –“

Ford paused to roll the 38 sided die, the die landing on 21.

“Not bad. Could definitely be worse.” Dipper remarked.

“You’re telling me. Once Fiddleford rolled a two.” Ford barked a laugh, remembering the campaign fondly.

“Now that’s playing on hard mode.” Dipper grinned. “21 should be a walk in the park, comparatively.”

“I like those odds.” Ford shared a grin with his great nephew, delighted at their shared conspiratorial joy with the game. “So, you’re in the tavern on the edge of the Swamplands, your character has accepted the quest. What do you do now?”

[karda]

idk if i ever posted this rarity doodle but . here ya go .

[jumpscart]

if i "rewrote" gravity falls (aka my AU in my brain that is just pretty close to canon as is) i would make it so Mabel had a diary where she was cataloguing all the stuff and dipper doesnt take it seriously bc its like, silly and unprofessional, but shes going out and having IRL experiences with these creatures and learning things meanwhile dipper is obsessing over the 'facts' of the journal and its Logical and Scientific and not about Dating Boys, then ford comes through the portal and takes on MABEL as his apprentice because shes the one actually doing the research (and also make ford canonically gay/pan and talk about all of his flings with the monster of the week) and then dipper is the one who is fooled into starting weirdmageddon because of his whole toxic masculinity deal

[beastsovrevelation]

I had another Good Omens fanfiction dream this morning.

Basically, Crowley was due to give birth. You might ask, Pestilence, what's with you and Crowley being pregnant?.. The answer is, I don't know, and neither does my therapist.

So, Crowley's due to give birth, he's scared and in pain. Beelzebub shows up, along with a few other demons (I guess I'll look through the Key of Solomon, I remember a few have to do with healing). She told him they'll support him. I have a feeling, the dream adhered to my idea that Crowley and Beelzebub are siblings (in spite Beelzebub looking like she does in S2, so Indian).

Crowley had to change to his snake form, because while his human form was male (so he couldn't give birth without surgery, which was too dangerous), his snake form was female. The demons put him in a whelping box (genius idea). Crowley gave birth to either 4 or 6 baby snakes (apparently, they're called snakelets). It was a live birth, which, fun fact, some snakes do give (i think boa constrictors, and snake Crowley kind of looks like one, aside from the colouring). The baby snakes then morphed to human form. I don't think Crowley nearly died, but he lost a lot of blood, and got extremely exhausted. No, it probably wasn't realistic to how snakes actually give birth.

(They were far larger, though)

Oh, and at some point, Aziraphale found out, but someone (possibly Beelzebub) forbade him from coming, because an angel's presence would distress the babies, and they wouldn't take human form. They could also die.

No, I don't think Aziraphale was the "father". The babies were demons, while, according to my headcanons, when an angel procreates with a demon, the baby's an angel, as it's the original form (though, they do retain some demonic features). Maybe, Crowley mated with an actual snake, or something... It would be very Greek and Norse god of him, but what the Heaven, dude... I guess, Beelzebub could act as the litter's she-father, once the two had reconciled. Which, is a word I use for maternal figures who, traditionally, would be considered more paternal. You know, kind of emotionally detached, more provider than carer, often absent, that sort of deal.

This is incoherent, but I only remember fragments. I guess, I will put it down in my notes for the future. I already did. (I'm kind of tempted to write the birth scene, I like writing birth scenes, they're brutal).

Don't you just have a love/hate relationship with when you are already swamped with WIPs, but the Fanfiction Gods send you another vision?..

Also, don't you just hate it when you give birth to a litter of snakelets, with the help of your coworkers, and your estranged sister.

What the Hell do you even name that many damn whelps...

[in-tua-deep]

had some very plot-y dreams last night!

I was an alien who was disguised as a human. I think I had come to earth as some kind of invading force years and years ago - my lifespan was pretty long actually, so I was only about the equivalent of my early 20s still but I'd been on earth long enough that I looked more middle-aged.

Which was appropriate, because the reason I had bailed/was in hiding is because I had fallen in love with my beautiful wife. She had died, so I was raising our half-alien son by myself and was probably the definition of Overprotective Parent

I never saw what I looked like, but there was a point in the dream where my son was in his alien form. It was actually very beautiful - he looked like he was made of colorful gemstones or glass rather than flesh and blood

But the whole dream's plot hinged on me finding what was apparently some kind of like, alien rehabilitation program where they took someone and made them human and made them experience life as a human as some kind of penance/rehab?

And there was a dude who I recognized as like. a Big Bad species, that I was CONVINCED had a) no ability to feel remorse, b) would indiscriminately kill everyone, and c) was very very dangerous and also in the same town as my son

so I started like, hanging around?? To try and catch this dude being Evil and also making sure everyone was staying The Fuck Away from my kid, right? except this dude just kind of. didn't do anything evil. stone cold poker face and no showing emotions, but no like, killing or anything

at some point into this dream, we find out about a bomb that is under the chair of one of the group, which consists of me, This Guy, and some squishy humans. My goal is to make sure that if the bomb goes off, it goes off with the other alien bc his species is very invulnerable to things like that

long story short, I ended up with the bomb and driving away and got. really really hurt. and the evil alien? he ran over, covered my wounded body with his own, and someone transferred half of my wounds to him and in doing so he saved my life

so... not as evil (or as emotionless) as I thought, clearly

The rest is fuzzy, but I know I let him see that I had a son at one point, though I didn't directly introduce them.

Honestly the whole dream kind of felt like it had a vague enemies to friends to lovers plot going on as we both explored more of his background and history and emotions, and as we revealed the fact that I had once been kind of a bad guy honestly before falling in love with my wife.

something something, second chances

then i had an entirely different dream where I was a princess who accidentally defeated a dragon and bound him to me in human form lol

[acrobattack]

maybe they should’ve left his hair out of this drawing

[prettyboykatsuki]

arthur morgan is so eldest daughter coded GOD

[transannabeth]

wanna make spider-jam an oc superhero because i've wanted to bring back my superhero ocs from like 8th grade especially since i've decided they're all weird and traumatized and insular and spider-jam is like fun and outgoing and cmyk colors

but like the whole thing is that she was bit by a radioactive spider. like that's the joke.

i need a new joke

[charlyritter]

Challenge: watch anything about the WC 2014 without crying

Runtime: 10 years

Results: still failing

[gouinisme]

not usually the nostalgic type but losing my high school journal entries got me listening to goddamn hawthorne heights wtf

[solradguy]

I'm almost done editing chapter 4 of Interlude but I'm coming up on the part I wanted to flesh out more so it might be posted before the end of the weekend if I don't get possessed by the ghost of writing and barf out a billion words like I did when I first wrote this fic haha

A couple people have mentioned wanting to see it go further than where I planned on stopping at the beginning of Begin's epilogue and I've gotten a lot of really nice comments/feedback on it and am quite inspired. It very well might go beyond that.

[bloomburnburial]

the incomparable sense of buoyancy post successful journaling session

[settsplitt]

I used to keep a journal specifically for baseball. Everyday I would analyze the starting pitchers of the game I was going to watch that day (like, in depth, baseball savant analysis) and the lineups as well. And then afterwards I would write like 1-2 pages analyzing the actual game. For free. Every day. Sometimes for more than 1 game.

[beastsovrevelation]

Like I said, I haven't seen Season 2. And, this storyline is far from being uploaded (though, it's my favorite among my Good Omens WIPs).

Still, I'm frustrated, and feel like rewriting a few things (perfect time, I suppose).

I read some comment on Pinterest that Crowley and Beelzebub have sibling energy, and was hooked.

I now want to make them sisters in this one especially. The problem? Beelzebub is supposed to be Crowley's biggest detractor. They despise each other. And, my Antichrist despises Beelzebub, because she's an enemy to her mother. And, I'm very much in the "blood means alliance regardless of feelings" camp.

I mean, the situation could be interesting to explore. They're sisters, and they loathe each other. Beelzebub resents Crowley, for treason, as well as for not appreciating the honour she's endowed with (being the one to first tempt humankind, then becoming the Queen of Hell), and slacking on her duties. They're at a conflict, then reconcile. In truth, they had always loved one another. They'd kill and die protecting one another... Yes, of course, they'll still want to cut each other's throat a lot of the time. 😈

I think, I could add moments of tenderness in the timeline set around the Antichrist's birth, too, just to show they indeed love one another. For example, Beelzebub being by Crowley's side during the key moments, like the birth. Hell... In the later timeline, I had planned a scene where Beelzebub attacks Crowley with a dagger. But, it might as well still happen, then they reconcile. Satan wouldn't even be surprised, he has the same dynamic with Michael. Meanwhile, Maxine would simply be thankful she's the only child (not completely true, but true enough), as siblings in her family are... Yeah.

Beelzebub could get knocked up by Gabriel. Crowley would get incentive to be protective of her sister, like she had been of her. I don't know about this story, but in some story, probably, that'll hapen. It's very beneficial... Politics-wise. I doubt any child would benefit from having these two

as parents...

They (Crowley and Beelzebub) will definitely be siblings in the dream scenario I had talked about (I said I'll put it aside, but I picked at the birth scene already, because I was inspired 🤡). But, siblings with a twist... Think, Crimson Peak AU (this isn't the one, but still). I guess, in this one I can explore actual tenderness between them, far before their relationship takes a turn towards... Well, incest.

All in all, I'll make them siblings in some of my WIPs, but about others, I'm not certain. I guess, it would thicken the fucked up layer in one of them... No, that has nothing to do with incest.

I wanted to put my thoughts into a somewhat coherent form, but, if you stumbled upon this, do tell me... I don't know, what you think. There's so much potential to this dynamic. The sibling one, I mean.

P.S. - Beelzebub is always female in my works, but she's still addressed as "my Lord". Just a random... Headcanon?

[cup-o-stars]

Relativity Falls!

Design Concepts (and my unnecessary thoughts):

Excuse the the colors, ig my apps are fighting.

I see Mabel finding success no matter what happens to her, but I really like the thought of her running an insane arts and crafts business in GF. Alternatively, if she fell in the portal, she'd come out acting confident as always, but she probably wouldn't realize how much the constant change and lack of family/stability wore her out until she settled back in. In either case, she's a bit cracked.

Dipper is investigative, but cracks easiest under stress and is not as inherently adventurous as Mabel or Ford- so the portal wouldn't treat him well. If he's not the one in the portal, he'd be into stargazing and real magic to share with people, while also warding tourists away from the dangerous stuff. In general, he'd be an unhappy adult if left to his own devices, lol.

Between Dipper and Mabel, I like Dipper being in the portal more. He's a great protagonist, but as a supporting cast member, he needs to be more insane to match the draw that is 'Mabel taking care of children,' ha. I also love the idea of there being no portal / some other looming threat for these two to struggle with (at least because Hirsche has made it clear that Dipper and Mabel are equally smart, and to me it seems like the portal would reopen way quicker with them), but I didn't plan on posting these and I don't know how my followers feel about me posting lore.

Stanford and Stanley:

Pretty much how they are in canon, but now they're in a setting where they can get over themselves, ha. They aren't quite as mature as Dipper and Mabel were at their age, but after coming to GF, they finally found other people to look out for them. Dipper could be a more emotionally available and level-headed role model (I think having people to take care of is calming for him in turn), and they'd both look up to Mabel as the peak of somebody who knows how to socialize.

Fiddleford:

He's a sweet, southern, farm-raised mechanical engineer just like in canon.

Idk why Fiddleford is in GF (visiting an unnamed grandparent?), but I really like his relationship with Ford in the journal. Following that thought, in this AU, he starts out more of Ford's friend than Stan's, and it's kind of a big deal. Unlike Dipper's arc on learning to be a kid, Stan and Ford clearly struggled a lot with interpersonal relationships / finding security outside of eachother, and that's what I think this AU could be about (it's great they realized they need each other in canon, but the part where they had no one else to turn to is also kinda crazy if you ask me).

Ford gets to meet another smart kid in a weird town, which helps him feel more normal. He has a better idea of what friendship is because of it, but also, since I can't imagine Dipper wanting an apprentice so young/vulnerable/impressionable or Mabel asking only one of the twins to stay- he'd have to come to terms with the fact that he can't live in his dream world forever. (Or maybe the apprenticeship comes from somewhere else, just because the conflict around going back to Glass Shard Beach at all, or sending Stan alone could be pretty good.)

On the flipside, I think Stan's initial jealousy of Ford and Fiddleford's friendship would force him to try finding his own friends / hobbies. I like the idea that he fails at first- and a lot- but Mabel notices his mounting frustration (which he is very keen on hiding), and her consistent and unorthodox support makes him realize he wasn't alone to begin with. He can be more open around her, which makes it easier to open up to others, and then he can make friends without having to pull any tricks. He probably starts with some animals, and then at least gets closer to Fiddleford anyways (I feel like they're both more practical than Ford and value human company more, so they'd bond easier once Stan gets over his personal hurdle).

Anyways- because that was way too much- Mabel's exes are a constant source of antagonists and Dipper is stressed about setting a good example.

(I was more of a Monster Falls fan back in the day, but I can't draw animals, lol)