#i think it's important to point it out now rather than have it thrown in someone's face later

[thisperseveringfemale]

so i’ve just been reading through some inactive radblr blogs (because even if there’s no current content, it’s still useful info), and... i came across a photo that’s been doing the rounds lately...

so far as i can tell, this image originally made it to radblr in november 2019 (source post linked). but a lot of people have probably only seen it for the first time within the past week.

i’ve seen this photo circulating a bit on twitter too recently, along with photos of the ‘decapitate terfs’ sign, so i think somewhere along the line, this one got mixed in with pictures from this month, and people (quite logically) assumed it was from the same event.

i’m not sure if this picture’s history has already been pointed out, since i’m not really active in radblr tags, but i only bring it up myself now because a lot of people have already tried disparaging women’s very real concerns about the violent language and imagery being thrown around in these signs, and if they discovered that this photo doesn’t actually originate from the event currently being discussed, they would take it as another way to discredit women when we speak up about this kind of thing.

so. hopefully i’m not clogging the tag with something that’s already been pointed out...

[sweet-as-an-angel]

hello ! i loved ur hcs for ghost x innocent reader sm, what do you think of könig x innocent reader? love ur writing ♡

König w/ an Innocent S/O

Warnings: Implications of Smut, Overprotective König, Rizzed-Out König, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You’.

There is nothing König won’t do for you.

Your overall calm, kind demeanour brings him peace he’s never known before.

And because of that – because he adores you beyond measure – he can get very…protective.

He often treats you as more fragile than you actually are.

Horror film playing in the background while you’re talking ? It’s getting switched off.

A picture of someone exposing a shoulder in a swimsuit catalogue? It’s getting thrown into a fire.

A pair of your own underwear left unattended next to the wash bin? König’s stuffing it into the bottom of the basket.

There comes a point where you have to tell him that, yes, while you may be a little naïve, even a bit oblivious, you’re not stupid.

And, as best he can, König treats you as you want to be treated, which is to say not as if you are a nigh-extinct species of flower.

And, given this new ‘power’ as such – this permission to show you the less rounded edges of life – König begins to have some rather self-serving ideas.

Regardless of if you like horror films or not, König will use it against you.

He’ll test your stomach for terror, putting something frightening on whenever you’re having date night to see if you’ll cling to him.

And if you do, irrespective of whether you fear what’s happening on-screen or not, his soul will ascend.

He can die happy when you hold on to him, nuzzling into his side while quietly asking him to “Hold me, Köni. Please.”

Makes him feel all big and important.

Wear his clothes around him, my God–

First time he saw you in his hoodie – after an impromptu visit from the Rain God made your original outfit unusable – he literally did a double-take.

He dropped the plate he was washing, grasped at it as it slipped between his soap-frothed fingers.

He just punched it into the sink, heard something crack, and turned his attention to you. And only you.

“I– You–” König couldn’t even form a full sentence as you stared at him, half-peeking from behind the door.

“You look…” He racked every file, folder and confine of his mind for anything to describe how he felt right now, how you made him feel.

It just came out as a strangled noise. And, smiling, you hurried into his arms.

You didn’t mind that they were soapy and wet. And neither did König.

Though, the only reason he didn’t was because his brain was so positively fried that he quite literally could think of nothing else except you.

The longer you’ve been dating, the more comfortable König becomes with being rougher with you, shall we say.

It all starts when you start doing things you never did before.

Like letting your hands slip lower beneath his waist, resting on his hips; Sitting on his lap when there are no other spaces available – and then eventually when there are seats available; saying his name like that – “Köni,” when you need help.

“I just can’t do it all by myself. I need someone big and strong to do it for me.”

And, regardless of how sincere you sound when you say it, regardless of how you bat your eyelashes and plump your lips when you look up at him, König is far too whipped to say no.

At first, König genuinely doesn’t think you’re doing it intentionally.

And neither do you, until you see the effect it has on him.

Making his cheeks flush and a pillow find its way to his lap when he sits on the sofa, your head placed precariously close to the growing issue between his legs.

Now, König isn’t the type to go throwing accusations around.

But when he catches you wearing his favourite hoodie, balancing on the edge of the kitchen counter to reach something placed on top of the cabinets (and I don’t mean the top shelf; I mean on TOP of the cabinets – like when you’re hiding a Christmas gift), your underwear peeking just below the hem, he can’t take it.

He knows what you’re doing.

And now that you’ve let onto him, with your doe eyes and your exasperated “Köni, I need you–” he’s gone. Snapped.

Just because you’re “innocent” doesn’t mean you’re exempt from König’s wrath.

To put it plainly, König didn’t seem so shy or frightful of damaging that night as he pinned you to the wall and took you for the first time <3

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

[dumbkid4ever]

It's Not Your Fault

Kinich x reader! In which:

Your boyfriend comes home from work and the first sentence he told you was "somebody kissed me today."

1,747 words 9,461 characters

It was almost midnight, the time your boyfriend told you he'd come home. Like many other times when he had to work till late, you sat on the couch with a lamp illuminating the book in your hands so that you can tell the letters apart. The plot wasn't particularly interesting, but the characters were relatable and pretty well written.

Just as you were getting to the climax of the story, you heard the sound of the door unlocking. Without hesitation, you put down your book (after placing a bookmark betweent the pages of course) and leaped towards the front entrance to welcome your beloved home. Barely did the door open when you had already thrown yourself at the figure before you.

"Honey! Welcome home," you grinned, nuzzling your cheek into the crook of his neck. Usually he would've greeted you back by now, but all you got was an arm weakly patting against your back. Noticing this, you stepped back to see what was up.

"Kinich? You alright?" you asked worriedly. His face was a few shades paler than you remember, his eyes didn't meet yours and he kept opening and closing his mouth. Something was clearly wrong.

After a while of silence, he seemed to have found his words again. Monotonously, he uttered the following words.

"Somebody kissed me today."

In an instant, it felt as if a cold bucket of water was dumped onto you, rendering you speechless for a moment. However, it wouldn't have mattered if you could speak or not, for he was not done yet.

"I made it clear that I had a lover already, but she didn't listen and while I was occupied with something else she just did it," he explained calmly and shortly. If you had not been with him for so long, you might've misunderstood his calm as apathy, his sparse amount of words as him trying to brush it off as nothing and his unwillingness to look at you as disrespect.

But you had been with him for this long. You knew that rather than being calm, it was him struggling to express his emotions, instead of trying to downplay the situation he was just being extra blunt under stress and it wasn't that he doesn't think you're not important enough to be looked at while talking, he just didn't know how to look at you anymore.

"I- I thought I'd tell you before any misunderstanding happens. I'm pretty sure there were no witnesses but just in case someone tries to tell you anything I wanted to tell you and well I... I..."

The panic he felt was evident to you. It's hard not to see with his eyes frantically darting from furniture to furniture, his hands clenching and unclenching again, his breath going in and out at a faster pace than the one that had the power to lull you to sleep. There came a point where you couldn't bear seeing him like this anymore.

"Kinich," you called out. He stopped every movement, so did his heart for a second. "Kinich, look at me."

Only then did he finally meet your gaze. Vibrant yellows, greens and a bit of orange. How you adored his eyes, even now as his pupils dilated and tears threatening to roll down his pretty face. Slowly, as to not scare him, you opened your arms invitingly.

Immediately he moved into the safety of your embrace, wrapping around you and burying his face into your shoulder. Not long after, you felt his body quiver as soft sniffles sounded next to your ear.

"It's alright. It's not your fault, so don't you worry. It's all gonna be fine," you whispered soothingly, hoping to relieve him of the burden as much as you can, even though you yourself weren't so thrilled to hear about it.

"But I-," he was interrupted by a rather quiet hiccup, a skill he mastered at 5, "I could've stopped it. It would've been so easy."

"Don't put the blame on yourself, you were doing something else, weren't you? She exploited that and did something you have made clear was taboo. You can't be at fault for this."

Although your words made sense to him logically, and he himself already knew this on his way back home, he couldn't convince his feelings that you were speaking the truth. They kept telling him that you were only saying this so that he'd calm down and let his guard down, so that you could leave while he was in a faux sense of safety. The mixture of shame, guilt and fear was crushing him.

He hated everything about the current situation, even the heat radiating off of you. He hated how weak he felt, how his emotions were so overwhelming, how his mind won't just accept the logical truth, how he dared to doubt your words, how he had the audacity to seek comfort in your embrace despite said doubts and what he had done.

Why were you being so lenient, why were you being gentle with him when he had betrayed you? What will be the price for this? Both the betrayal from his side and the leniency you showed meant that he was now indebted to you, by a lot in fact. How will this debt be payed? There was only one possibility in his mind and the thought of it sent whatever was left of his rationale went flying out the window.

The hold he had on you tightened. His fingers dug into the side of your arms, making you wince a bit but you didn't let go of him. Memories flashed before him, terror had his heart in a grip like it's trying to suffocate him and fear flooded his mind, drowning out all thoughts.

"Please, oh please don't..."

He let out a shaky breath.

"Please, don't leave me, I'll do whatever it takes to make up for it but please, I beg of you and I promise I'll be enough, I'll do enough, just please don't go away, I'll be good, really..."

The boy's rambling continued, repeating words like a prayer, but it was so quiet you barely heard him, despite your ear being right beside him. The speed at which the words spilled out of his mouth made the words even more intelligible, but you realized where his mind was at as soon as you understood "leave."

"Hey, hey, no. I'm not gonna leave you, you don't have to pay me anything. One only has to pay when they gain something in return, but you didn't gain anything from that kiss, right?"

Your voice cracked a bit at the end, the thought of Kinich liking the kiss of someone else stinged like a needle. To your slight reassurance, he nodded into your shoulder.

"Then you don't have to pay for anything. See? I'll stay, there's nowhere else I'd want to be more than with you, I'm not going anywhere."

"But I broke our promise and hurt your trust, I should compensate for it, I have to," he continued to argue, as if trying hard to not let you convince him.

"Nonsense, you didn't do anything to me, it was that... person, who did you wrong." As an attempt to ground him back into reality, you tangled your fingers into his hair and rubbed his scalp softly. That always calmed him down, and though this time was no exception, the effect was less than usual.

"The fact that I told you already counts as hurting you. I know you're hurt by this," he retorted, now less hysteric, and you knew that he wasn't all that wrong. But still, you continued talking him out of his worries.

"A misunderstanding would've done more damage to me, telling me right away was the safest option and the one with the least damage potential. You made the choice that has the least cons for me."

Finally, he had nothing to argue with and the room fell still. Talking about pros and cons of choices may seem odd, and you would've found it very odd, had you heard this conversation a few years ago, but throughout your time together you had learnt that this was just the way Kinich was able to receive comfort. He couldn't accept simple, genuine things in relationships without paying something back, that was just what he had learnt from his childhood. Nothing comes without a price, so when someone claims something to be free, he can only face it with suspicion and disbelief.

"I won't leave you, ever. You're the only I love, the only one I trust so much and I know you only have my best interests in mind. Just your existence is enough and what you do for me, well it's more than I could ever hope to receive from a person," you spoke with a hushed tone and stepped away from the hug. The corners of his eyes were reddened and a bit of snot ran down his nose, but he looked as beautiful as ever. Delicately, you took both his hands and entertwined his slender digits in your own.

"There are more reasons to stay with you than I can count on both our fingers, you know? In contrast, I see none why I should leave. Well, aside from Ajaw, he's the only thing tainting my time with you. On the other hand though, I must say, seeing you bicker is quite entertaining," you laughed light-heartedly. To that, he smiled a little.

"Thank you," he murmured and leaned in for a kiss, one you gently returned. It didn't last very long, nor was it particularly passionate, but it expressed everything he wanted to tell you and you understood everything that he said.

"Should we go to sleep now? I'm sure you're tired from all the work. Come on, go get yourself ready for bed, I'll be waiting," you urged him, getting a hum of agreement in return. Content with that, you went to fetch your book, that was still on the couch, and stepped towards your shared bedroom.

Not long after, Kinich entered the room as well, still rubbing his hair with a towel. You were already under the blanket, watching him change into his pajamas and eventually lay down beside you. Wordlessly, he slid his limbs around your midrift and you cradled his head, which was pressed up against your chest. Your legs tangled together until neither of you knew where he started and where you ended. At last you peacefully drifted to sleep, aware that the other is always beside you.

Legit woke up in the middle of the night to write this, knowing full well I had school the next day, all because the idea came to me. Well anyways hope you enjoyed and have a pleasant day or night.

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

Please share all you can about Toa the orca calf, I think his story is very important. I don’t know too much but it seems like a case of activists being but in charge rather than actual experts.

Yeah it was a mess from start to finish. Toa was found stranded on the rocks, with witnesses saying the waves had thrown him up there. Already he would have been distressed and had been on his side on a hard surface for a few hours at least.

They got him back in the water and then videos of these interactions started to surface:

No PPE, giving Toa belly rubs and ignoring any formal rescue protocols (if you're trying to refloat a whale, you're not letting them turn upside down)

The sun was going down and DOC wanted people out of the water. Ingrid was on her way and giving instructions to her team. The decision was made to put Toa on a trailer overnight - it's unclear if that was her decision or not but it's clear that, despite not having any rehab facilities in New Zealand, people were determined to rehab this calf and release it back into the wild at any cost.

So they cobbled together a "sea pen" on a boat ramp in a dirty harbour. This is where Toa would eventually die in a few weeks time. Whale Rescue was already selling the story of a miraculous rescue and the plan to "reunite" Toa with his pod. And lying openly that orca calves had been successfully released in the wild before:

He wasn't injured, they said. He was fine. They just had to find his pod now.

When asked reasonable question about where the PPE was for volunteers, Whale Rescue immediately became defensive:

The call for PPE went ignored for about a day while people were in close contact with a sick orca. And the call went out for more "volunteers" aka anyone with a wetsuit. This sparked immediate concerns from the Advisory Group.

Photos like this started showing up - 6 people crowding Toa in a circle, no where for him to go if he wanted a break from people:

The excuse was that Toa needed help swimming. Yet he was swimming okay and avoiding the fences without any obvious issue. And so the habituation began... Despite continuing advice from the Technical Advisory Group - including Loro Parque and SeaWorld, who both have extensive calf raising experience.

"There is no need to have people 24/7 in the water when the animal is able to float and swim alone."

Finally PPE was being used but the habituation and intense contact with Toa continued. Ingrid gave it the okay and other inexperienced members of the public continued to encourage it.

Whale Rescue continued to affirm to the public that they are merely "duplicating natural behaviour" for Toa

And the cultish and unquestioning worship of Ingrid Visser allowed this to continue - note the amount of people in the water for Toa's "massage." They only started wearing PPE when people started questioning it.

If you're wondering what I mean by cultish behaviour see the comment thread below:

They actually believe that Ingrid was communicating with Toa. Because that's what she told them she was doing. And they believed it without question.

When Toa was moved into the freshwater pool due to storms, it got even worse.

This photo was quickly deleted but look how absolutely foul the water is:

There didn't appear to be any sort of filtration or pump system.

At this point volunteers and Ingrid were being fed by donated food from the local pubs, Ingrid was sleeping on site in a donated campervan and the entire community were rallying around trying to "help." Note how close they're all set up to the pool.

Putting him in the pool also made Toa a lot more accessible. Concerns were raised about the stress to the calf and an exclusion zone was agreed upon. Buuut it was immediately disregarded.

7 people! In that tiny pool! And the photos of the complete flouting of the rules continued to surface.

The comments find it all very amusing!

Roll up, roll up! Come and see the dying baby orca calf!

And then, as we near the end of this animal's torment, Ingrid brags to the press about how she's now TRAINING the animal she intends to release into the wild. Because we definitely want to be training cooperative care and making life saving feeding and hydrating procedures all about Choice.

Remember when Ingrid Visser didn't like the "exploitation" of orcas in captivity? Remember when she said that training "tricks", even husbandry behaviours, is cruel and bad? I do!

It makes me seriously wonder if she just wanted to be an orca trainer all her life.

But anyway, Toa's getting bouts of colic (gee, maybe changing the formula without permission wasn't a good idea!) and DOC is starting to get concerned about him. At this point, people are still denying that SeaWorld and Loro Parque are involved and any mention of a facility getting involved is immediately shut down.

This is what was being said in the Advisory Group:

At this point both SeaWorld and Loro Parque have provided formulas, advice ect. Ingrid Visser was claiming she knew these things all along and that the formulas were from her hand picked experts.

So these are what the comments were:

Whale Rescue thought it was appropriate to reply to comments of concern like this:

The cult of Visser continues to fuel the anti human care sentiment.

DOC starts to report concerns with Toa's health and Whale Rescue decides to double down that everything is completely Fine. Don't listen to DOC, keep giving us money.

The donations are getting up to 20k.

Because of Whale Rescue casting dispersions, anti DOC (Department of Conservation - who put in about 10k into the rescue efforts) sentiments grow.

And, only a few days later, Toa dies. I reached the end of my image limit but I still have plenty more screenshots I can share.

I recommend you check out the documents released by DOC to see the sources of these screenshots - the other screenshots were taken from news reports, Facebook groups and posts as well as videos:

[blacknedsoul-blog]

Montresor (and Willtresor) are the Bad Ending of White Raven III: now it is personal

Well, after realizing that I have like (check the list) two unfinished "sagas" of essays, I remembered that I had this 80% done and I told myself that maybe it was an excellent time to get on with this shit to keep kicking the archetypes and gothic tragedy essay under the rug

When I thought about this ("hey, if Montresor has so many similarities to Lenore and Annabel, where does that leave Will?"), my first thought was that the parallel would be this:

We have a charming blondie charlatan who arrives just in time to offer their "friendship" (wink, wink) to a poor individual who couldn't be hungrier for affection and validation. A deal sealed with a handshake, otherwise.

Here the parallel between Will and Lenore is drawn in that they are both rather reactive people: they don't take the initiative to do things, they react to things that happen around them. For example, Will wasn't the one who came up with the idea of putting Duke behind the wall, just as Lenore didn't come up with this whole fake rivalry scheme.

But neither of them refuse to participate, either because they think they can get away with it, or because they don't stop to think about the consequences of the things they get into. And, in general, they tend to panic when things don't go their way and immediately back off (even when that's not possible).

But this is where the parallel ends, because their personalities and approaches are completely different: Will tends to curl up in a ball and look for excuses not to get hurt, while Lenore is an extremely blunt weapon capable of taking whatever is thrown at her.

So you can imagine the look on my face when, after thinking it over, I realized that the person Will has the most in common with is not Lenore.

It's Annabel.

Because if we had a nickel for every time we saw a character in Nevermore…

Be willing to tolerate physical harm to protect an object of affection whose game has backfired.

Idealizing that object of affection to obsessive levels.

Taking harmful attitudes out of a desire to be accommodating because they think that's what that person expects of them.

And putting up with it even though it is tearing them apart inside...

We would have two nickels. It's not much, but it's interesting that it happened twice.

With that, I could up the ante and point out something else that Annabel and Will have in common: they're both invisible people. Will is someone no one gives a second glance to, while Annabel is seen more as an object or an idea than an individual (a pretty accessory in life, an unbeatable queen in death). They don't really matter to anyone.

Except for one person. One person for whom they are willing to give absolutely everything. Their lives, their physical integrity, their identity.

This creates an enormous fear of being abandoned by that person, when they have given them such an important part of their self-construction, who are they without them?

Then there is the particular way in which they both understand relationships. Annabel has openly stated that she sees social relationships as commercial exchanges. It is not known whether Will has a similar view, but in practice he behaves much like Annabel in this respect: they see themselves as important to the extent that they can be useful to their particular person. Tools to be used, rather than individuals deserving some form of appreciation, care, or even affection for simply being them.

Under that premise, it's to be expected that Montresor or Lenore will discard them the moment something more useful or better comes along, because that's what you do with tools. If some of them end up in the trash, it's because Annabel or Will have failed to remain useful, and they need to make amends for their mistakes in order to be considered worthy of a second look.

Which makes it tremendously ironic that Lenore says this to Will…

When in the midst of a panic attack, this is one of the first concerns Annabel has to express.

At this point, the difference between the two situations jumps out: Lenore cares about Annabel. Where Montresor is more than happy to use Will's complexes to keep him chained to him, Lenore is far from being comfortable with all that crap. Again, what draws the lines in the end is that there are people who have their hearts in the right place and there are people who don't.

But I think there's one thing that's a little darker: please watch Montresor's face when he realizes that the person he's choking is Will.

And watch his complete lack of reaction when Lenore pulls it out of his face.

I think the fucked up thing about the situation is that Montresor seems to care about Will. At least enough to feel a certain amount of remorse. But in a world where there are winners and losers (a perspective he shares with Annabel), where it doesn't pay to care about the losers if you're a winner, Montresor doesn't have the resources to treat Will any better. Even if he wanted to, he's too deep into toxic patterns of behavior to show him any degree of kindness, because the only way this man is able to relate is through abuse, control, and manipulation.

This is extremely fucked up when you consider that this is the fuzzy line that separates Lenore and Montresor in the roles they have within the relationship with Annabel and Will.

At the end of the day, the Willtresor is a dark reflection of the White Raven, because that's the consequence of instrumentalizing the relationship in this way: you have one party who benefits from what the other is willing to do for them -and no matter how much they care, it still relegates them to the role of tools- and another person desperately picking up crumbs of validation because they don't think they deserve any better.

[cialovesklopp]

une journée a trois ➻ k.mbappe

summary – they had always been two. but now that they were about to be three, they were starting a new journee. the path of parenthood. ah, the joy of pregnancy

pairing – kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)

warnings – a somewhat detailed description of childbirth, pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, labor, breastfeeding

word count — 10.1k

author's note – i guess this is my last official chapter for the mon amour series before i am officially starting my trent fic and the first spin off to this series. i will also be taking mon amour to wattpad where i'll add some more social media since here it came a bit short. there will be a lot of redecorating for my fics in the next time. as a heads-up: i don't know anything about childbirth, my entire knowledge is from google so i am very sorry if i got something wrong. hope you enjoy &lt;3

    ( masterlist )

it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. she liked to have her life planned out to the finest detail. she wasn’t organized to the smallest but she liked to live her life in a certain order. so this was not supposed to happen now. there was no in-between for her situation. either women were happy or their lives were destroyed right now. and yet she found herself between the two scenarios.

she had been careful. she had put her career first and it had worked in every damn relationship she had ever had (which had not been a lot). she had made it clear that the success of her career was the most important thing and after the whole evan fiasco, she had sworn to herself that no matter how many times she fell in love, she would never lose sight again of her priorities. and it had worked till now.

it was a small mistake that led to her situation now. a moment of a certain emotional weakness that was the reason why she found herself in the bathroom on the floor with her back leaning against the bathtub as she stared into nothing.

kylian had introduced her to a new world of love. one where longing became sometimes too hard and the moment they found each other again, all rational thoughts were thrown out the window. he had shown her what love really felt like and that it was so much more than just endless fights and screaming matches. so… of course she had lost sights of her priorities and acted after her emotions when her heart had missed him too much.

her situation resulted from a sudden stay in the same city. he had been there to play an important match, she had two nights in that same city to tour and overwhelm her fans with her music. it had been three months that they hadn’t seen each other in person so the moment they had known they were at the same place, all sane thoughts had been thrown out the window. they had missed each other too much to even think about anything else than be close again. feel the other again. and now, not even two months later, she found herself on the floor in the bathroom with a stick in her hand. a small piece of plastic that held the weight of the world. two small blue lines that seemed to throw everything out of order. there seemed to be life growing inside of her now.

she wasn’t crying but rather staring into the air. her eyes held no emotion as she held the positive test in her hands. somehow it didn’t seem to set in that she carried life now in her body. that someone was breathing inside her and had their own heartbeat. it appeared surreal to her. the realization that one of her biggest fears had become true.

amara didn’t fear his reaction. that was probably the least of her problems. he had always expressed his desire for children, no matter at which point in his career he would be. he would support her, no matter what. she was the problem.

there had been warnings for this situation. women with so much potential that had been destroyed or ruined because of a child. and it wasn’t just an empty warning. she had seen it with her own eyes. linda, evan’s mother, had been the proof she had needed. a beautiful woman, beautiful and intelligent — a cunning lawyer who was at the peak of her career. but her pregnancy had ruined her and had turned her into a housewife. the vision, evan had always had of her. being pregnant just before she was about to start the second leg of her tour was the most unfortunate moment, this little gift could have come. it threw all plans out of the window.

she absolutely did not want to become one of those women who were at the peak of their career and then got it ruined by an unplanned pregnancy. it was her biggest fear. especially because she was living on the high of it at the moment. everything was going well, — she was breaking record after record — and now everything was about to stop. because she knew she would never bring it over her heart to kill the small human that seemed to be growing in her. it was a part of her now. and she could never take that decision alone.

time passed and she still found herself in the same position, her mind still processing the news. she didn’t notice kylian coming home from training and calling her name. her senses picked up his smell and noticed his presence but her brain felt disconnected to the outside world. her mind was a whirlwind of conflicting and complicated thoughts she just couldn’t work through.

if he was surprised to find her in the bathroom, he didn’t show it. kylian called her name but there was no response except an occasional small hum. the room felt smaller and the atmosphere was uncomfortable with the big news looming over them.

“cherié, tout va bien?” he asked her softly, eyes filled with worry as he kneeled a bit down and remarked how hers seemed to just stare into nowhere with a numb expression in them. she didn’t find the strength in herself to say her fears out. it was paralyzing her from deeply inside and forming a big lump in her throat that prevented her from being vocal. instead she only handed him the positive test, the two lines glowing dimly under the bathroom light. — honey, is everything okay

there was a confused expression on his face that turned into a mix of shock and slight happiness. but any emotion disappeared when he was met with her expression. “this is a surprise,” he said out loud and turned towards her. “are you happy?” his question hung in the air but she couldn’t find an answer.

“i don’t know. i don’t know what i’m going to do.” she admitted, her voice quiet. there was a certain nervousness and fear that underlined her voice, portraying the weight that she carried on her shoulders now. there were so many possibilities and challenges, so many hills and rocks they would have to climb now. she wished she was fearless like all the other women that were over the moon when they got the positive news.

“i was about to leave for a whole year. the second part of my tour is starting in a month. and now i’m…” her throat became dry as the lump became bigger. the words seemed stuck, as if speaking them out would actually make it real. “i’m pregnant.”

she didn’t have to say more for kylian to understand her. that’s just how they were. he seemed to comprehend that she wasn’t mad at the pregnancy. after all, she adored children. she was amazing with them and they both knew they wanted kids. she just feared the impact it could have on her career.

“je ne sais pas quoi faire,” she mumbled under her breath, her lips barely moving. “it wasn’t supposed to happen now. everything was going soo… well, i guess. i don’t want it to end. i don’t want to lose my career.” — i don’t know what to do

he let out a sigh, his back sliding down the wall as he sat down next to her. one hand still held the positive test while the other wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist, pulling her closer to him. “why would this ruin your career? you’re the most successful artist i know. nothing could ruin this now.”

“you’re supposed to say that. but you haven’t seen that pregnancy does to women. i don’t want my career to be ruined, not with the way the world treats women. how am i supposed to be a good mum and a successful woman in the music industry?” she shook her head and put it down on his shoulder, resting it there. she appreciated his efforts to comfort her but he was a man— they would never truly understand a woman’s suffering, no matter how hard they tried.

“we could stay home both if you want that. i take a break from football and i could be home for the both of you,” he suggested and amara looked at him incredulously. it was strange for her how he had accepted it so quickly already, that they were about to be three while she still struggled to comprehend the situation.

she shook her head firmly. “i could never ask you to stop for me. i know how much you love football. it’s your life. this is a me-problem.”

“une grossese n’est pas un probleme d’une personne. tu n'es pas seule. je te promets que rien ne va se gâcher. ta carrière est remarquable est elle le sera toujours. no matter what you do,” he consoled her, pressing soft kisses on her temple. “je t’aime tellement. mais ça, c’est ta decision et tu es la seule avec le choix. soo… are you happy?” — a pregnancy is not a problem of one person. you’re not alone. i promise you, nothing is going to get ruined. your career is remarkable and will be

— i love you so much. but this is your decision and only you can take it.

she shrugged, the unexpected twist in her plans still burning through her mind. she just couldn’t understand how there was a small human being growing inside her now. something that was breathing inside her. even though it felt unreal — and all at once she knew what she was going to do. what she would have to do now. her world would revolve around that little human being now. and she would do everything in her power to love that little baby that was living inside her. even if it the feeling of surrealism would never truly leave her.

maybe her mind should have adapted to it by now but it still felt disconnected to the situation. as if she was living two lives now. they hadn’t told anyone yet, preferring to keep it their little secret for the moment. especially because they still hadn’t settled in on the idea of getting a family addition.

kylian had noticed her struggles. how she couldn’t work around it. he would find her sometimes in front of the mirror, staring at her stomach. and even then it looked like she still hadn’t made her peace with the situation. amara had come up with several excuses why she had been going softer on training and why she avoided her pr for the second leg of the tour so much at the moment. kylian seemed to have calmed her down a bit about the pregnancy but the fears and rocks it would bring still hadn’t been overcome. even more when she still didn’t feel a thorough connection to the baby in her stomach.

the first ultrasound had been their reality check. that whatever they had been dancing around, was actually happening. there was a grateful look in her eyes when kylian grabbed her hand while their doctor applied the cold gel on her. it was terrifying for her to say the least. their nurse was friendly, nice — she must have sensed amara’s nervousness with the way she had been trying to calm the singer down. it had been risky getting an appointment but kylian had made sure to be extra careful. to make sure that nothing would come out to the press. the least she needed right now was for the time that should’ve been the happiest in her life to be without any media presence.

hearing the heartbeat was a sharp reminder that they weren’t alone anymore. the sound appeared to be precise evidence of life within her, the real confirmation for her pregnancy. it was a new experience for them, a new chapter that was starting soon in their lives. the impending parenthood that was installing its way into their life. several emotions were rushing through them as they made contact for the first time with their baby. and yet, despite the huge importance of the moment, amara’s emotions refused to truly correspond to the situation because of a missing connection between her and the baby.

she looked at the ultrasound screens, her eyes specifically fixing the point the doctor had shown them was their baby. she was registering the moment but struggled to find an emotional place for it. and it wasn’t because amara didn’t love the growing human in her body enough. there was no lack of love or commitment. her brain was just going into panic mode and refused to acknowledge the incoming changes. an automatic self-defense response from her mind who thought it needed to protect her. because even if she knew her career was good, it didn’t take away her fear of having all of that ruined.

as the doctor left them to offer them some privacy, there seemed to be just them now and the sound of a heartbeat. amara didn’t have to look at kylian to know that his cheeks were probably hurting from smiling so much. that his eyes were probably a bit teary from hearing the heartbeat of their unborn child. his hand found hers and he subconsciously intertwined them, his mind still clouded by all the emotions running through his body. she smiled at him, happy to know that at least he seemed to be able to form a special memory with the moment. for her, everything still felt surreal.

and the feeling of it did not leave her, not even in the night.

they were in bed, cuddled together under blankets when amara suddenly woke up from a slight movement. she turned a bit to look at kylian but her boyfriend still seemed to sleep peacefully. as she felt it again, amara looked down and found kylian’s hand on her stomach. casually laying there all protectively. and somehow, it was exactly what she needed to realise that it would be okay.

a small smile formed on her face and she put her hand on her stomach too. this was going to happen and she would be prepared for it. she wasn’t sure whether babies could already hear but it was stronger than her. the urge to promise her baby the world.

“i don’t know whether i’m going to be a good mum to you,” she began softly, speaking low to not wake up kylian. “but i can promise you, you’ll be in good hands with your dad.” she chuckled, the thought of kylian playing with a small mini-him or mini-her exciting her. “i’m sorry that you’re stuck with a mum who doesn’t know what she wants. but i’m trying. i’m trying for you… to be the best version of myself that you’ll need.”

they began slowly, the changes. at first barely remarkable and now they were plainly obvious. life seemed to radiate from her. she possessed a kind of positive aura around her that even the blind could see. she had truly grown into the start of her pregnancy as she entered her second trimester.

amara found herself balancing her life before and during her pregnancy. she had to get used now to the fact that her body was adapting for the small human being in her stomach and that it included good and bad changes. she had overcome her struggles with the pregnancy and the lack of emotion she had had towards it. now she suddenly felt overwhelmed but happy. nearly excited to start this new chapter.

she was four months pregnant and with that also came the first differences that made this pregnancy real. that made it more than just a statement on a paper. a small, noticeable bump had formed on her stomach — it wasn’t very big but remarkably enough that it had made them nearly cry when they had seen it. now kylian’s hoodies had become her go-to attire to hide the small curve on her stomach. his sweatshirts engulfed her completely, serving as a comfortable shield for her womb and a cover up. after all, they still hadn’t told anyone and the little human growing in her body was still their secret.

and just as she progressed into her pregnancy, so did the unfortunate changes like morning sickness or strange food cravings. instead of spending her mornings in bed, spooning with her boyfriend, she now found herself hung over the toilet as soon as the sun came up, with kylian holding her hair. he whispered sweet encouragements and gentle circles which was now a habit for them every morning as she finished her first trimester to enter the second. it was exhausting, crucifying even and drained her. the doctor had told them it would stop soon but she found no change. she would just have to endure it.

even worse were the sudden food cravings. eating had already become hard enough with nothing staying in her body but her strange food cravings made it ten times worse. strawberries were her first sacrifice that came with nurturing life followed by sushi and chinese food. now even the slightest smell of take-out food had her running to the toilet. it was hard and what made it even more hard was the fact that she couldn’t ask anyone for advice other than her doctor.

they hadn’t told anyone of the pregnancy. she had canceled the second leg of her tour without any reason other than the “personal reasons” she had stated in her statement. it had been a heart-wrenching decision, stopping to travel around the world and illuminate people with her music but it was necessary. another sacrifice for her new life she was entering. they had left the world — including their own families — in the dark as they chose to live in their small pink bubble, far away from the harsh reality. amara would never admit it but she was glad. grateful that she didn’t have to share what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life with the world. she wanted it to be their private little moment.

pregnancy did not only change the way they lived. it changed them completely. amara knew kylian loved her but he had changed his love language. he had gone from sweet words and giving gifts to affection and touching her constantly. it had started small, with small caresses on her back and intertwining their hands subconsciously to gentle circles drawn on her hands now soft strokes. and most of them were always centered around her stomach. it was his new way of expressing his unconditional love that was now not only directed towards her but also towards the tiny life growing inside her. they had adapted to parenthood together and it made her fall in love even more.

especially when he talked to their small little miracle when he thought she was asleep. it had started as small confessions towards their baby and had turned into full one-sided conversations now. it warmed her heart when she listened to him, heard how he expressed some of his fears — that amara found were completely unreasonable— and talked about how excited he was. no matter which gender their little bundle of joy would have. only they mattered to them, her, him and the small unborn baby. their bubble was complete.

but the couple knew that their bubble would burst soon and they would rather be the ones to do it than an outsider. after spending one month at home, shielded from the outside, she had decided to come out. and her first official appearance was no other place than kylian’s match. her parents had surprised her with a visit and both knew, they couldn’t hide it any longer now. they hadn’t exactly spoken about a way they would announce it but it was clear that they would have to share it with their families now.

along with her parents she was seated in their usual reserved spots for the families of the players, next to them kylian’s parents and his brother with his children. she played with kylian’s nephew, bouncing him on her lap while her mind wandered off to thinking about how it would be in a few months. when she would be cheering him on with their small bundle of joy.

their eyes met and she watched his smile grow bigger as he spotted her with his nephew — no doubt, the same image of her with their baby was running through his mind. again, there was an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement. amara turned to her mother, who had redirected a question towards her, wondering why her daughter was glowing so positively. and all she could do was grin. they would know later.

though later appeared to be very close as their secrecy came to an end with the opening score. he had hit a beautiful goal after dribbling his way through the penalty area and instead of hitting his usual celebration, he went for the ball. there were shocked gasps around her along with a roar of cheer when he ran around with the ball under his shirt and sent a heart her way. everyone instantly put the pieces together — after all there weren’t many possibilities what it could signify — and immediately they all turned towards her.

“don’t tell me…” her mother trailed off in shock and amara nodded, grinning widely.

“surprise,” she exclaimed, a cheeky smile adorning her face. she lifted the sweatshirt a bit and revealed her four-month old belly that she had been hiding for the past month now.

fayza immediately pulled her into a hug, kissing amara’s temple gently. “félicitation ma fille. oh je suis tellement contente.” — congraulation, my daughter. i’m soo happy

one by one, they hugged her, all expressing their felicitations. even the others that were around to support their player on the pitch threw a happy congratulations towards her.

“how far along are you?” her father asked her, pulling his daughter in for another hug.

she smiled into the hug, the feeling of home spreading through her body. “nearly five months now. i finished my first trimester a few weeks ago.”

“now it makes sense why you couldn’t go out with me,” alice realized and amara sent a wink in her direction.

“how could you keep this from us?” her mother asked in a shocked tone, looking at her daughter incredulously. “amaghị m ma m ga-akụ gị maka idobere m ya ka ọ bụ naanị nwee obi ụtọ. ihe a abughi ihe i zonari nne gi ada.” — i don't know whether i'm supposed to hit you for keeping it from me or just be happy. this is not something you hide from your mother.

amara shrugged. “it was our little secret.”

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by liyah_clark, achrafhakimi and 26.304.752 others

amara.imani secret is finally out. the reason i had to cancel the second leg of my tour. i’ll back soon but in the meantime, baby imani-mbappé is coming

view all 293.753 comments

liyah_clark the audacity to not tell your best friends that we’re becoming aunts

graceywood can’t believe she hid it from us 😔, i think we don’t mean anything to her anymore

amara.imani I APOLOGIZED ALREADY

amara.imani i even told you the gender, what more do you want?

username project mbappe is officially starting

username man really said, i’m starting my own mini-me

psg félicitation a vous deux ❤️💙

equipedefrance félicitation de toute l'équipe de france

username news of the year

antogriezmann félicitation mon frère

sza i can’t waittttt

kipembe3 la bébé de la team va avoir un bébé, trop hâte

paulpogba kyks le daron, qui aurait cru

cynthia_e so excited to become an aunt to this angel

username please say sike

username i don’t wanna lose my (imaginal) wife

username omg now it makes sense why she was always spotted in sweatshirts

kehlani ohh i’m gonna be auntie kehlani soon 🥹

charles_leclerc new member to the amara imani squad

landonorris best news of the week

graceywood auntie grace is ready for her duties

liyah_clark auntie liyah and uncle charles report for duties too

username i’m not even mad anymore she canceled her tour

username fr, i’m too excited for this

achrafhakimi finally. it was so hard keeping it a secret and not telling you i knew

amara.imani how did you know?

achrafhakimi you never decline a glass of red wine

username omg they’re gonna be parents 🥹🥹

tchaga_ felicitations a vous deux. je vous souhaite le meilleur

k.mbappe 🫶🏾

the news had spread like a wildfire and even people who weren’t interested in the football or music industry knew that amara imani was pregnant. their names had been mentioned in every article for three weeks straight, wondering over the gender of the baby and when exactly it could maybe arrive. her phone was now silent everyday to drown out the constant vibrations of notifications. it was spammed with articles and posts mentioning her — everyone had something to say about her pregnancy.

even players she hadn’t ever interacted with had slid into her dms to wish her and kylian well. not to forget the french national team who had called to congratulate them as well. they had instantly launched a group call, to also include those who played overseas and wished their two friends well. everyone bombarded her with questions about the impending arrival of their baby — their new protégé as they liked to call it now. a warm feeling spread through her body as she thought about the way, their baby already had so many uncles that loved their coming bundle and would help them. they were a big family after all.

as she advanced in her pregnancy and her bump grew bigger, kylian also grew more protective around her. he didn’t allow her to lift a finger to do anything around the house anymore except go to pee. he cooked now and send his mother to drop off food when he was busy or away for a game. his chauffeur had now become something like their housekeeper, occasionally checking in on her when she was home alone. kylian had even hired her a personal shopper that would go shopping for her when she didn’t feel like online shopping. he was doing everything to protect her from doing too much.

and amara understood where he was coming from so she couldn’t even be mad at him. after their latest doctor’s appointment, where they had been told that there was a risk of giving birth prematurely, her own fears had reappeared again. they had never truly left her but now they were living in her brain again. her pregnancy had already been complicated with her uterus apparently refusing to grow to give the baby more space. she had been told it was a protective response of her body after a certain kind of trauma she must have endured — a trauma that her body now refused to live again so it took protective measures. she had been ordered two weeks of bed rest and after that, to do the most to go easy on her body. spare it from hard work.

seven months into what should have been the happiest time of her life and she found herself afraid of her own body and what could happen if she gave birth prematurely. she had worked through the fears concerning her career and now she would have to manage the fears of not being ready to give birth.

and adding to that fear that hovered over her now, pregnancy had also become harder for her. what had seemed to be a small curve before now looked like a midsized watermelon shoved into her stomach. the toll on her body became more prominent now — daily ingestions of vitamins, eating twice the amount of what pregnant women usually consumed — measures like that had become routines for her. she had been warned of a complicated pregnancy but none of what she had been told measured up to what she was feeling.

nonetheless, her pregnancy was also marked with good moments, happy moments where both just got ready for parenthood. moments that had put light on the situation they were living in at the moment. painting the room had been a day where they had created lots of memories they cherished. the singer had been visiting friends of hers who had been staying in the city of love and had come home to find kylian with a screwdriver in his hand while achraf was reading him the instructions for the crib.

“you’re supposed to put it like this.”

“i’m doing that. it won’t go in.”

the two hadn’t even noticed her arrival their focus laying purely on the crib. turned out, he had left training early and had dedicated the entire day to constructing the crib and getting the room finished. her heart had grown twice its size that day. there were so many memories they had already created in that room (looking past their messy make-out session because she was feeling horny) and painting the room of their coming bundle of joy was just an addition to that.

the realization of parenthood and their new addition to the family had somehow wriggled into their lives. during her first trimester, she had pushed the thought of pregnancy at the back of her head, hoping to procrastinate everything that concerned it. now she was excited for the arrival of their little bean and was planning each detail as finely as she could. they were navigating their way around it with the new flow of emotions they were experiencing. as she progressed and her bump became bigger, so got the question about the name their unborn child would carry. it was clear to both of them that their baby would not carry a double-name; they held no importance if the only place where they appeared was on official documents. they would settle on a single name their baby would be known through the world.

he had the entire world scream his name and wear it on their shirts to express their support for him, she had people sing her music all over the world and express themselves to it. both names carried big weighs all around the world and no matter which name it got, there would always be expectations that would have to be reached. yet she sensed that it was more important for him — the matter of the name. so they chose mbappé for their last name. but the problem of the forename still linged.

that’s how they found themselves awake in bed at four in the morning with the question of the name preventing them from sleeping (in addition to amara craving for tacos at two in the morning). they were surrounded by baby name books while their phones had websites for baby names open.

“what do we think of kylian mbappe jr?” he proposed jokingly, grinning at her as he stole another of her sweet potato fries.

she rolled her eyes. “of course, why not? and while we’re already at it, why not instantly start project mbappe and put it into the academy instantly after i give birth?”

he held his hands up on surrender. “it was just a suggestion.”

“a stupid one,” a small giggle left her lips as she declines his proposition. she was kind of glad that he wasn’t stressing so much about the pregnancy as much as she was now. one of them needed to be the easy parent and she knew it was just in her nature to be the stricter person.

“what about… malouanne ?” he read out loud from his phone which earned him a pillow thrown his way. “what? it’s a mix of the names marie, louise and anne. fits perfectly if you ask me.”

“as beautiful as the name may sound, do you want our kid to be bullied at school?” amara instantly retorted back, continuing to read in her book to find a name.

that was how they spend the night, searching for names that would fit their little human and create their identity. the question of the name was always a difficult one because somehow nothing seemed to fit. nothing was enough for their baby. they were looking for a name that just screamed their bundle of joy; that upon hearing it would immediately make them think of it.

“should we add a middle name?” he asked her, putting his phone down to look at her. his hand instantly placed itself on her stomach, stroking it gently. “should we give you a middle name,” he asked softly towards the stomach. a smile made its way on his face when he felt a kick at the spot where his hand laid and amara hissed slightly.

“i think we need a middle name,” kylian told her slyly. “our little bean clearly agrees with me.”

“they agrees on everything with you. i swear i have a daddy’s girl in my stomach.”

her boyfriend grinned at her, cradling her stomach. “well, they are their father’s child” his grin widened when he felt a kick again.

she shook her head in disbelief but knew he was right. bidding him goodnight and placing a last small kiss on his lips, she waltzed a bit around to find the perfect position to sleep in. with her belly growing, so did the matter of finding a good position to sleep in but the huge pregnancy pillow that kylian had bought her seemed to help. still it didn’t take away the ordeal of finding the position. she was nearly asleep, her mind already drifting away when kylian finally closed the books and turned off the light. his hand wrapped around her waist to feel closer to her as he got comfortable in bed.

she had nearly missed his suggestion, already dozing off when she heard his voice. it was barely above a whisper but loud enough to hear.

“i think ada would suit her perfectly as a middle name in case it’s a girl. the perfect mix of you. and you said you wanted to honor your mother.”

needless to say that she fell asleep with a smile on her face. one problem less now in what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life.

a sharp pain shot through her body. she had been seated on the couch, excitingly watching kylian play when suddenly all she could focus on was the feeling of agony that spread through her body. she tries to ignore it but it’s stronger than her. her hands immediately go down to hold her bump as she leans forward, pain rushing through her entire body and making it impossible to think. her mind is consumed with the feeling of crucifying agony and she can’t think of anything else.

as quick as it comes, it subsided again and she takes a deep breath, trying to regain her composure— before it starts all over again. her first thoughts are that she’s experiencing preparation labor — the famous braxton hicks, that her doctor had warned her of and that she had been victim to during her seventh month. but this pain felt different. the match had been long forgotten as she found herself on the floor, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. her body felt weak, too heavy for her to carry to even try to sit up. the salty substance of her eyes had already started to stain the white carpet and she was able to taste her tears. her eyes travel around the room, as she looks for her phone and desperation fills her as she sees it on the other side of the room, charging. she tries to get up, to at least manage to crawl to it but another pain prevented her.

her eyes close, too weak to have them open as soft sobs leave her trembling lips. she’s wallowing in pain, hoping that someone will find her; that kylian will come home soon. she had always been afraid of giving birth in bad conditions, especially as she was early and her due date was supposed to be in two weeks. her arms wrapped around her stomach as she tried to comfort herself by whispering sweet encouragements, hoping that they would at least help her calm down a bit. but the pain did not leave her.

she doesn’t know how long she’s suffering in agonizing pain when she suddenly hears the apartment door opening and someone entering. pearls of sweat are running down her forehead as she’s compressed to the floor, her arms hugging her belly close to her. the solitude had amplified her situation, made it worse as fears had taken over her mind; the fear of having to give birth alone. and she couldn’t be mad at kylian. after all, the due date was supposed to be in two weeks and even that was much earlier than expected. she tries to ignore the pain and at least try to lift her head to see who just came in but the waves of pain that stream through her body are stronger. like electric waves rushing through her body and hitting her everywhere.

it’s his driver that gives her a bit of hope again when she hears his voice. he immediately rushed towards her, kneeling down as he took in the scene.

“i don’t… i don’t want to give birth..” she managed to croak out, pain preventing her from speaking clearly. her voice was filled with agony as small sobs left her lips. "je veux kylian.” — i want kylian

there was no hesitation, no time to panic or doubt. she was sobbing as she tried to catch her breath while he swiftly retrieved his phone to dial the emergency services. while his other hand held the phone, the other was softly stroking her back, hoping to transfer some solace to her. a bystander would have interpreted the scene in front of them completely different but right now, it comforted amara. calmed her down knowing she wasn’t going through this alone anymore.

he also called kylian but he soon realized it was of little avail, when his eyes caught the screen where the camera had just zoomed on the french striker. the feeling of desperation now seemed to have caught onto him too as he quickly grabbed amara’s phone to place another urgent call. this time to his brother who had not been selected for the match. their call was not very long, only sharing the most important details. his heart lightened a bit when he saw the sudden substitution of kylian. but the feeling of relief was as quickly gone as it came when his eyes fell on the woman next to him, who seemed to take the pain harder with every second that passed.

staying conscious started to become hard for her. she felt a bit of relief when the medics had finally arrived, instantly carrying her to bring her to the closest hospital. but he was still not there and it freaked her out. she couldn’t give birth alone. not without him. there was chaos around her, several voices as she was rushed into the hospital and yet her brain only focused on one thought: she needed him here. she had been put into a private room to not attire a lot of attention as they were aware of her identity. they had told her she would soon be ready for the next phase of this journey but she didn’t want to start it. not without him so even though her body was killing her, she held onto the pain till he would be there.

they tried to calm her down as her contractions intensified but it was to no avail. she needed him to be there and hold her hand. be her sanctuary to guide her through her fears. every reassurance that was spoken to her didn’t mean anything to her cause they weren’t whispered by his lips. she wanted him and no one else.

kylian had instantly run to the changing rooms to get his things as soon as he had been informed of the news. there was confusion at first, when he suddenly saw his number on the changing boards but the small explanation from his coach was enough to suddenly hug enrique and rush out as quickly as possible.

there was no time to care about any traffic rules. she was more important. they were what mattered now. short messages had been sent to his families to inform them of the situation before he ran into the hospital, looking to support his girlfriend during this important moment. he didn’t care whether he hadn’t parked right or how many speed limits he had crossed, all he wanted was to hold amara’s hand.

from the reception desk he had instantly been taken to her room where he rushed to her and engulfed her into a close hug. he had seen her in so many states before but this was new to him. unknown territory like each time he went to play on an adversary’s side that he had never crossed paths with. his heart hurt as he took in her appearance; her face scrunched together because of the crucifying pain, the sweat pearls that rolled down her face along with her tears and the small sobs that left her trembling lips. amara was truly in pain.

“t’es- tu est la…” she managed to croak out before another sharp flash of pain shot through her, making her scream in agony. — you’re … here

he wiped her tears from her face and pressed a soft kiss onto her cheek, able to taste the salty taste of her tears. his heart broke as he thought about all the time she must have spent here without anyone close to her and in pain. she had always been scared of facing labor alone, just the thought of it made her doubt everything but he had always been able to calm her down. promises had been exchanged when she had longed for the reassurance that no matter what came, he would always be there for her— in this moment. she would never have to go through this alone.

“je suis venu le plus vite possible,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. hoping that the solace and feeling of warmth the act usually transferred would calm her down a bit. she cried again, this time though she wasn’t sure whether it was due to his presence or the pain that her body had to endure at the moment. — i came as quick as possible

he lifted their intertwined hands to meet his lips and pressed a kiss on it. “je te l’avais promis. je serai là.” — i promised you. i will be there.

she nodded, another contraction hitting her and preventing her from speaking. her body was overwhelmed with emotions; pain, fear. comfort all present in her body. a bit of solace had been found from kylian being there but the feeling disappeared when the doctor came in agan. when she announced that it was showtime and should have to push now. there was no going back, no time to have second thoughts. it was all happening in this instant now.

labor was hard. jolts of pain were shooting through her body in short periods and each time she had to push through them. she didn’t care if the entire hospital heard her screams or whether she was breaking kylian’s entire hand with the amount of force she was squeezing it. she couldn’t see anything except pain. and what her desperate even more was the fact that nothing seemed to change.

the nurses and doctors were telling her that she was doing a fantastic job but she still felt as if she hadn’t even pushed once. as if nothing had changed. no matter how much she pressed.

“you’re doing so well ma belle,” kylian encouraged her as another of her screams pierced through the room. “you’re so close.”

“why doesn’t it feel like this?” she yelled out in pain, tears streaming down her cheeks. she was hot, her forehead was sweaty and her body felt weak. she couldn’t push anymore.

“miss, you’re nearly done. we can already see the head,” their doctor tried to motivate her. “we just need two more big pushes.”

her surroundings drowned out as she gathered all the strength that was left in her body to push. everything around her became blurry, colors, shapes, persons. her mind was too tired to make her sight clear and she had no energy left anymore to try to focus.

“we need one last push,” they called out to her as she nearly broke down on the bed.

“i’m tired, ky,” she cried tiredly. her eyes barely open. she looked desperately at him. “it hurts so much. i can’t do it anymore. i just want this to be over but it hurts so much,” her sobs left her body and his heart ached as he listened to her.

“t’es la femme la plus courageuse que je connais. et je vais pas te mentir, je ne sais pas dans quelle douleur tu es. mais je sais que tu es la seule à pouvoir le faire. bientôt on aura notre bébé dans le main. one last push and it’s over, okay?” their eyes mirrored every emotion present in the room. the fatigue but also the exhaustion. pain but also love: there was everything. — you’re the strongest woman i know. and i won't lie to you, i don’t know what the pain you’re in feels like. but i know you’re the only one who can do it. soon we’ll have our baby in our hands.

amara nodded as she took a deep breath to push again. she’s clutching kylian’s hand with every last remaining strength as he continues to encourage her. the pain she’s feeling now was much higher than what she experienced the last five hours. suddenly she feels everything. as if her senses have been amplified. there was a sharp pain accompanied by an agonizing scream and suddenly there's a new voice in the room.

she’s asked to hold her arms out as kylian’s eyes fill with tears and all of sudden she’s holding her baby. their little girl. the joy of their life they’ve been dying to meet.

her eyes are filled with tears as the realization hit her. all the pain is suddenly forgotten, as if it never existed. now her body’s only consumed with happiness. she’s crying hysterically as her baby continues to let out cries. the sign of life. that everything was going well. she didn’t need to look at him to know that he was crying as well.

every of her muscles is feeling exhausted when they take their new child away to do its first medical care. kylian himself wasn’t one to often feel very emotional but when he had been asked to cut the chord that had connected amara and their bundle of joy for nine months. she’s finally here and he suddenly understood the feeling of surrealism that amara had told him about.

after the first checks had been done, their daughter had been placed into her arms again. and somehow she must have had still some liquid in her body as her eyes began to water again when she truly held her daughter for the first time.

“she doesn’t seem like a faith,” amara whispered, holding her daughter who was covered in a soft, fluffy, pink blanket. she had opened her eyes for the first time and again, a few years left her eyes when she stared into her daughter’s beautiful eyes. they had her eye shape but all she saw looking into them was kylian. she had inherited her father’s eyes. the fact that she could reference to kylian as dad now spread a new kind of warmth through her body.

“no. it kinda feels wrong,” he agreed. as he gently trailed a finger over her delicate face, he couldn’t help but fall more in love with the woman in front of him. he had always known that he would always love her, no matter in which reality they found themselves. and he had fallen in love with every one of her versions. and now he found himself falling for her new role. he had fallen deeply for amara in her role as mom. he couldn’t believe he had ever doubted. she was perfect. “what was the second name we chose again?”

“are you talking about anaïs?”

kylian’s smile grew bigger as he continued to stare at his daughter. he had learned the meaning of infinite love with amara but the term of unconditional love. it was this small human that taught him what it meant. what people were talking about when they talked about loving someone unconditionally. “yeah. i think she looks more like an anaïs.”

and looking at her, amara understood. she had stopped crying and was looking at her, as if she was taking in her new surroundings. she had been removed from the safe comfort of her mother’s womb and had now to get used to the outside. “anaïs-ada mbappe. welcome into the world.”

she pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before turning to look at kylian and both smiled. they had done it.

“t’es prête papa?” she asked him teasingly and motioned for him to step closer. “take off your shirt. it’s your time now.” — are you ready papa

she was tired. exhausted. there was fatigue written all over her face and yet her face still wore a smile as she watched kylian take off his shirt to have his first skin-to-skin with their daughter. he gently took anaïs out of her hands and sat down on the bed next to her.

he had her cradled against his chest, the warmth of his chest spreading was a connection between them. an expression of love sacred to only them. their phones were vibrating but they ignored it. only their little family mattered now. “salut ma princesse,” he whispered to her softly as she wrapped her hand around his finger. “moi, je suis ton papa. et je t’aime tellement.” — hello my princess. i’m your dad. and i love so much.

their tiny miracle was held in his warm embrace as time around them seemed to pause. no one else existed in their bubble that shielded them from reality going on outside. it was only them. and somehow, as they held their daughter in their hands, the idea of parenthood didn’t seem so scary anymore. amara fell happily asleep, knowing that they were going to do this chapter together.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by achrafhakimi, graceywood and 28.763.541 others

k.mbappe bienvenue au monde anaïs mbappé

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it was their first day at home. and with the first day also came the first night and the first cries.

it still felt so unreal to them how they had left their home as two and had come back with another person. their family addition that represented the proof of their love. putting her down for the first time in her room filled the air with a warm atmosphere. there was so much love around them as she placed anaïs in her bed after putting her to sleep. a small light of the nightlight they had bought cast a yellowish glow around the room, revealing a few of the fine details they had put into the room. their eyes did not leave their daughter, they were too much in awe of what they had created.

she’s woken up by anaïs’ soft cries in the night. a quick glance at the small clock next to the bed told her it was just one in the morning. she’s tired and every bone is begging her to stay in bed but her motherly intuition prevents her. turning, she saw kylian still sleeping profoundly next to her as she gets up to calm down their daughter.

“you’re hungry, aren’t you,” she asked her daughter in a gentle tone as she picked the small baby up and sat down with her on an armchair next to the crib. she thanked kylian’s brilliance for having had the idea of installing one next to the crib. “ça va, maman est là. maman va s’occuper de toi,” she soothed anaïs’ cries as she got ready to feed the little human in her arms. — it’s okay, mummy here. mummy is gonna take care of you

just as she had predicted, hunger had been the cause for her awakening as she watched anais latch onto her breasts, hands grabbing onto each side. her cries quickly subsided as the little girl got fed while amara tenderly stroked her cheek. she waited for a bit longer after making sure anais had burped and rocked her little princess back to sleep before joining her own bed again. she couldn’t even find it in herself to be mad at the way kylian was sleeping so profoundly, as if he hadn’t heard her cries. it was her first time experiencing motherly intuition and tending to her responsibilities. she placed a soft peck on his forehead before falling asleep again, her mind drifting away before she had even truly placed down her head on the pillow.

the second time anais woke up, it was kylian who tended to her needs. amara stirred, ready to get up but the french striker tells her to go back to sleep. that she was already exhausted enough and her body needed some rest. after changing her diaper, he instantly took off his shirt before picking up his daughter and putting her close to his chest. immediately her cries stopped when she felt her father’s warmth and comfort as his fingers gently brushed against her head. they stood in the same position for the next thirty minutes before anais fell asleep again, their small bond blossoming through moments like this. amara’s still heavily asleep when he slips back into bed again, wrapping his arm around her waist to find sleep again.

but his sleep didn't last for very long before they heard her cries again. this time though they had managed to find three more hours to sleep with the clock indicating that it was already eight in the morning. amara was about to get up to look after their daughter when kylian grabbed her hand, motioning for her to stay in bed.

“you went last time,” amara muttered tiredly, already looking for her slippers but kylian shook his head.

“go back to sleep cherie,” he interjected, putting a shirt on. “you need it more than me.”

“your holidays are over tomorrow. if anyone needs sleep it’s you.”

he shrugged, standing up and ready to go look after anais. “and you just gave birth a week ago. repose toi un peu,” he convinced her and she nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with him. she gave him a last kiss before closing her eyes again, fatigue instantly taking over. she didn’t know what had been the matter this time but since her cries quickly stopped at the sight of her father, she knew he had everything under control, her instincts could relax as she slept a bit more. — get some rest

she woke up to an empty bed the next morning. it’s the feeling of coldness next to her that managed to bring her out of her sleep even though she was still tired. she knows that kylian must be around somewhere with anaïs but she enjoyed staying in bed for the first time since she gave birth. regain all her forces.

there was an instant smile on her face when she saw her daughter in kylian’s hands while walking out their bedroom. her heart grew twice its size when spotted them on the sofa with kylian talking to her and anaïs having her eyes wide open. as if she was understanding or at least trying to follow what her father was telling her.

“regarde qui s’est réveillée,” he said softly to his daughter, noticing amara’s presence. “tu as vu maman?” — look who woke up

— did you see mummy?

“vous êtes trop beau ensemble,” she greeted him with a kiss as she sat down next to him and reached for their daughter. anaïs calmly got comfortable in her mother’s arms, not making much of a fuss as she got ready to eat. — you’re too beautiful together

she had a fond smile adorning her lips, looking at her daughter. this tiny human being that changed their lives around. even though she was only a week old, they could already recognize that she was her father’s photocopy. that she would be his except for the shape of her eyes. the one thing anaïs had inherited from her.

“t’es la femme la plus forte que je connais. je ne sais pas comment t’as fait. comment tu fais…,” he told her completely in awe which made amara chuckle. — you’re the strongest woman i know. i don’t know how you did it, how you do it

“et toi tu es l’homme le plus beau, magnifique de toute cette terre. no one i would rather have than you as the father of my baby. — you’re the most beautiful, amazing man on this earth

“she makes everything better,” kylian chuckled as he got up to prepare breakfast for them.

amara nodded, softly cradling her daughter while she breastfed her. her small little hands were placed firmly (as firm as they could be for a one week old) as she drank the breast milk.

“weird how i’m ready to go to war for someone i’ve practically known a week. and yet she’s the answer to everything.”

he understood that feeling better than anyone. if the world turned around him before, now his world turned around her. he was ready climb mountains, cross jungles or put the world on fire if it was necessary for his daughter’s happiness. he would do anything for her. “i love you two more than anything.”

his eyes held that famous sparkle as he spoke and amara leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. in the span of a week their lives had changed and they had been thrown into the world of parenthood. the one thing no matter how much one studied, there was never the perfect preparation. one would never know how parenthood actually worked out till they were parents. it was a new path to life.

amara and kylian had each other to overcome the hills and rocks that may have been put onto their way. anaïs was the confirmation of what they had always been. a family. their bubble was finished and perfect now. they had everything they needed.

taglist: @lorarri @aechii

[kayandp]

So I'm going to tell a story today because I want to share something that was important to me, even just a small thing. Something positive.

I thrift a lot because it's affordable, keeps stuff from getting thrown in a landfill rather than be used, and it's fun to root around like a racoon and find things.

Yesterday, we came across a box. It was just a reused kind of box, from another toy - but on it was written: "Do NOT throw away! DO NOT LOSE" - when I opened it up, there were three small rocks in there.

I dont think they're "valuable" rocks - I couldn't tell you what kind of rock they are even. But it was a strange moment being there, holding a beat up box with three tiny little stones in it while resellers were looking for sneakers to put on Poshmark. Book guys frantically scanning barcodes and throwing books into bins. These were really important to someone once. Maybe they still are. Maybe they were here by mistake, but at one point at least they were of great value to a person, and now I was holding them.

Anyway - if you're reading this somewhere and want them back - I have your special rocks. They're hanging out with my rocks in the meantime, so they wont be lonely.

[numinously-yours]

Free Tarot Reading: Why did X happen?

Today's free reading is going to look deeper at why something in your life happened. I am answering the following questions:

What is X?

Why did X happen?

How can/did you grow from X?

Choose an X above and find your group below the cut:

What is X? Knight of Swords

You may have started a project and, in the middle of it, it abruptly ended. You thought you had all of the resources you needed – money, people to back the project, a solid plan – so when it ended it was really disappointing. You’re not quite sure what went wrong or why the project couldn’t get off the ground. The main point of concern keeps coming back to the people. Why did people decide to stop investing?

Why did X happen? Seven of Cups rev.

At some point during this project, there were too many cooks in the kitchen. Since it was your idea originally, you took the reigns back and decided to make executive decisions. While this isn’t always a bad thing, it feels like people may have stepped back from working with the project because they didn’t feel their voices being heard. Additionally, there were a lot of short term goals as the project was getting starting rather than looking at the bigger picture, so the small things didn’t necessarily add up to reaching the ultimate goal.

How did/can you grown from X? Ace of Swords rev.

This situation is helpful for you as you move forward with other big ideas (or even if you try this one again!). You are excited about ideas so you want to get them off the ground, but this can be a reminder that taking time to plan is just as important as the execution of the plan. Create SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound), allow others to provide feedback, and find a balance between leading and collaborating. Something else that you may have/can learn from this is to wait on announcing ideas until you have a rough draft. It may have been too early in the planning stages of the original project and that made it asier for a lot of opinions to be thrown around. Come in with an outline/structure which allows for some movement, ideas, and opinions, but isn’t a complete blank slate.

What is X? Six of Swords & Page of Cups rev.

There is/was someone in your life who was holding you back. You are inspired, full of ideas and plans for the future, and have always been someone who’s been able to move forward. Someone came into your life and once they did, you felt dragged down. This person has an immature nature about them. They are a bit narcissistic and childish, but think they are mature and know what they are talking about. It has become incredibly frustrating for you. You feel like you have to put your needs on the back burner in order to avoid chaos. For some of you, you may have distanced yourself from this person for a while, but now they are coming back into your life and you don’t know what you are doing to do. You’ve finally gotten back into your groove – will they mess it up again?

Why did X happen? Knight of Wands rev.

Although frustrating, this person came into your life because the delays in your progress were necessary. Whatever you were trying to achieve at the time where they swooped in and paused your work was not going to be successful if you were to have finished it then and there. I feel like my mom when I say that this also happened to “build character”. In a less annoying sense (for me lol), this person was there to teach you patience – not necessarily patience in people, but in not achieving your goals as quickly as you want. Without this person, there would have been risk of impulsiveness and built up energy.

How can/have you grown from X? Three of Pentacles

On a personal level, having this person in your life will ultimately help you appreciate other people who come into your life. Knowing that the person came into your life to help delay progress may help you see people on another level. “There is a reason this person came into my life. Let’s find out why.” It doesn’t mean you have to enjoy spending time with them, lol, but it will help it be less frustrating when the people around you are frustrating.

Regarding the goal(s), it has been aided in growth by the delay. Now that more time as passed, you will be more objective, have a more solid plan, and know where you can get resources to help it flourish.

What is X? Two of Cups

This has “the one who got away” energy for me. Whether it was a romantic partner or a platonic friendship, someone who you loved and had a great partnership with isn’t in your life anymore. You’re wondering what the point was for this person to bring beauty to your life just for it to be ripped away.

Why did X happen? The Lovers & Nine of Swords

They came into your life because you deserved to know that this type of love exists. You deserve to know that, even in your darkest moments, you are loveable and worth the effort. This person was likely the first person in a long time that you were able to be vulnerable with. You learned how to trust again. You learned how to communicate. In terms of why they had to leave, I think it’s as simple as they weren’t meant to be. It’s not an easy answer to accept and it still probably doesn’t make sense. But the time that you had together really shaped you to be successful in new relationship(s) to come.

How can/have you grown from X? Eight of Wands rev. & Ace of Wands

This relationship is bringing you back to the root of YOU. It has probably started already. There are days you doubt your worth because the person did leave, but each day it gets easier to remind yourself that you are worthy. This person has lit a fire under you to live your life for yourself because you finally know that you deserve good things. They showed you the potential that relationships can have and that you have within them. You can move forward from this relationship with optimism for the future.  

What is X? The Tower & King of Wands

Your X was a huge tower moment for you. There was sudden change followed by chaos. Everything that you knew was turned upside down. You had a plan for your future. You could visualize opportunities ahead and see the steps to get there. It feels like you’re expected to build the tower back up but there aren’t any directions to tell you how.

Why did X happen? Justice

I’m not being told exactly what happened that caused the tower moment, but it seems like the actions that were being taken were not in your highest good or the highest good of others involved. Unfortunately, the collapse of the tower was the consequences to those actions. Someone did not stand by decisions that they made and left everyone to their own devices. There was a missing level of ethicality and fairness.  

How can/did you grown from X? Knight of Pentacles

This knight is the hardest working knight in the deck. They are methodical and driven. They may not be the most creative, but they get the job done. You are being called to be this knight as you rebuild that tower. You don’t have to be the most creative person in the room. You don’t have to be the most inspiring person and come into a planning session with a full list of new ideas. If you focus on getting the job done effectively and consistently, you will be successful. Sit down and write goals. Just like group 1 (which you may have been interested in checking out), create goals that are tangible and attainable. You can also grow by accepting responsibility for anything that might go wrong. The original tower moment may or may not have been consequences of your own actions, but moving forward you need to be aware of your actions so another tower doesn’t fall. Stick to what you know, stick to a routine, and soon you’ll see the tower is standing higher than ever.

[z0mb13zzbl00d]

'Found' (Leon Kennedy x Reader) Part 1(?)

Content: a bit angsty, gender neutral reader, cop reader, you're slightly older than leon, no use of y/n, re2!leon

Summary: Leon finds you, the only other RPD officer left alive in the station.

Disclaimer: IM A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL AND THIS IS MY FIRST FIC SO PLEASE BE NICE 😭😭 also if anyone likes this I'll make a part 2 maybe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~♡~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your hands have been shaking non-stop for God knows how long now. Your flashlight is out of batteries, and your handgun has 2 shots left. The feeling of the weapon in your tight grip is all that's grounding you at the moment. Your back hurts like hell, you must have been crammed in this locker for hours. It's the first place you had thought to hide, you mentally curse yourself. 'At least I'm not being eaten alive' you think. What a horrible way to go....God, it sounded agonizing. You feel your stomach turn with burning guilt. I can not believe I'm upset about my back hurting right now considering the horrific pain the others must have gone through, you think. Im so selfish. You're thrown out of your thoughts in an instant when you hear footsteps. You hold your gun tight, your heart beating fast in your ears.

The footsteps get louder and closer, till they're right in front of the locker. Your hands are shaking so hard your dead flashlight slips from your hand and you feel your blood go cold. It hits the metal floor of the locker with a deafening crash. You feel your knees go weak and your heart sink. This is it. I'm going to die. What was the point? You'd made no impact in the world, but maybe arresting a few drunk people on patrol. Nothing of importance. Not one person will be left to miss you, no boyfriend, no family, no friends...they are probably already dead. And you'd never even had a boyfriend in the first place. I can't die yet, there's so much i haven't done, you think to yourself. The locker opens and you scream and ready your gun, eyes clamping shut with all the force you can muster.

"Augh, jesus-! D-dont shoot!"

You register the words just before you squeeze the trigger! You open your eyes, and standing in front of you is a young, attractive man, looks like he's in his early 20's. You'd never seen him before, but he's in an RPD uniform. You sigh and shakily bring your gun back down to your belt. You clear your throat,

"Sorry, sorry...um, who-" You pause to swallow and take a breath. "who are you? Is it safe out- out there?"

He shakes his head no. He opens his mouth to speak.

"No, sorry...it's not safe."

"Thought so...and you are?"

"Leon, Leon Kennedy. I'm new here." He says with a small smile.

You smile back weakly. "Nice to meet you, Leon...so, uhm, do you know a way out of here?"

He nods! "Yeah, I might. But I'll need some help...I got this notebook, it has some notes from another officer about 3 medallions opening up a door to the parking garage. It seems a little far fetched but I geuss it's worth a try, right?"

You chuckle dryly. "Anything to get out of this hell hole."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡ timeskip ♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're searching high and low for the final medallion, but you can't focus on the search. Leon notices.

"Is everything okay? You...aren't bit, are you? Or hurt?"

You turn around.

"Huh? No im okay, its...everything is okay."

He gives an unsure nod then gets back to searching around the room. Your mind is plauged with the memories of your friend's final screams, and desperate pleas for help. There's nothing you could have done, you tell yourself. Nothing you could have done...no, stop thinking about it! Pushing the memories back into your head is all you can do right now. You cant afford a mental breakdown, not now. Not here.

Leon knows what you're thinking, because he's feeling that way too. Maybe not to the same extreme as you, but the memory of that officers death...his legs, or rather the lack of legs...his organs...made Leon feel weak and queasy. If he'd only been quicker, or if he hadn't hesitated. Maybe things would be different for him. He should be getting out with us, but he's not. He'll be here forever, this station is his tomb. Leon hopes that it wont be his too.

You see the look of guilt in his eyes, and you place a hand on his shoulder. You rub his shoulder and give him an empathetic look, a look that speaks louder than words can, as if to say 'i know. it's not your fault.' You let go and continue to search. Leon is touched by the gesture but can't control the warmth spreading in his heart and on his soft cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡ end of part 1 ♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[billpottsismygf]

Space Babies! Weird episode, but it had a charm. I had already prepared myself for the fact that RTD's era was notoriously camp and weird, and that I would for the first time be experiencing new episodes by him as an adult rather than as a 9-13 year-old, so it's not news to me that there would be some campy nonsense with a deeper message, and that this might be more jarring than I'm used to. The deeper themes were really thrown out (refugees, anti-abortion hypocrisy, genocide, capitalism) without being dwelt on, but that's not necessarily a problem.

The babies themselves were... a little unnerving? The mouth movements were quite uncanny, along with their voices and the general "I love you, Ruby!" of it all. I've just now made the connection that the latter puts me in mind of adverts for baby dolls.

The gunky snot monster felt very early 2000s British children's TV. If you weren't there for that, just know there was so much slime; think Slitheen exploding. I am very glad it got rescued. Nice message with the Doctor not usually running from things just because they look scary and, even though this is a creature specifically manufactured to be scary, it still deserves a shot at life.

It feels like a strange story to start with because I suspect it'll have mixed reviews. I would think you'd want a slightly more solid episode to draw people in with. Anyway, there was still a lot of thought put into making this a proper jumping off point with all its Doctor Who 101 stuff. Funny for a long-time viewer hearing it all rattled off in record time, but important to establish for new people, and I do think it's important for the show to remain accessible to people who haven't been obsessing over it for twenty years or more.

As a jumping off point, it very specifically reminded me of The End of the World. There's the big observation deck on a space station where the new companion, in her second episode and first off-world adventure, gets her phone updated so she can call her mum, in particular. The parallels to Rose are interesting, especially with the lecture the Doctor gives Ruby about how they can't travel back to meet her missing parent(s).

Speaking of that, there's some intrigue there with the snow appearing and the memory changing. I didn't like the Doctor doing a DNA scan of Ruby without her knowledge. It feels very 11th Doctor, especially when he literally scanned Amy and withheld medical information, but also the way he treated all his female companions as mystery boxes to solve without telling them. I guess we'll see what that's all about at a later point.

I'm still not completely sold on Millie Gibson, but Ncuti Gatwa is wonderful, and I do really appreciate their chemistry.

Small things:

Jocelyn was a good character, and the Nan-E filter made me laugh several times.

That place name before the Doctor turned the translation circuits off was absolutely not in English. Slightly weird way to phrase that line if it's going to be called Pacifico del Rio.

This is a very early point in the series for Ruby to get a TARDIS key! We're really speedrunning the usual steps here.

[quitealotofsodapop]

So if Wukong didn't know MK was playing superhero, why was he able to be caught by Spider Queen? The answer is clear. He took the younger cubs down to see the parade. That way, he could be closer to the fireworks, and his kids are entertained. He ended up being caught up in the initial attack and discovered MK playing hero while trying to evacuate the cubs away from the angry spider lady trying to turn people into spider zombies.

Wukong is not happy, but at this point there are far more important things to deal with. He orders MK to get his siblings somewhere safe while he handles Spider Queen. When MK protests, he tells him that MK's arachnophobia would only get in the way, and he is still Sun Wukong, the gods be damned Great Sage Equal To Heaven and the Monkey King. He isn't so far into his retirement that he can't put an upstart little princess in her place.

The plan backfires and Wukong gets captured by LBD and Spider Queen, of course, but hey, the Noodle Crew gets to meet MK's siblings! Sandy babysits them while they're in Heaven trying to get the stuff. All they know of it is that MK's mom was caught by the Spider Queen, they don't know yet exactly who his parent is. Not until much later when Wukong and DBK break out of their bonds and save them.

"Holy shit, is that Sun Wukong!?" ;Probably Tang

"Mom!" :MK

"MOM!?" :Literally eveyone

After all is said and dine Wukong makes good on his promise of a long talk, or rather lecture, and MK is grounded.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE SO RECKLESS! Xiaotian, your father an I taught you better than this! What were you thinking!?"

"But when you were my age you were at war with Heaven, though!"

"And look what that got me! Thrown in a furnace and pinned under a mountain for 500 years! What you did was stupid and reckless. What if you'd gotten hurt!? Your still mortal, MK!"

Referencing.

Yesss. Wukong canonically adores New Years, and I def agree that love extends to the cubs too.

Wukong does a "surprise" visit to Megapolis to show the younger cubs the New Years Parade + check up on his eldest while MK is helping Pigsy with the foodtruck. Likely all in glamours, but MK 100% gets an embarassing visit from his mom at work. The Noodle shop gang tease him endlessly about it.

Then cue the Spider Queen's invasion, and Wukong giving MK the cubs to watch for the moment while he Kings Up. MK doesn't want his mom to go in his condition, but Wukong is still The Monkey King, and has no idea that his son has been superhero-ing for the past couple of months.

The gang all meet up on Sandy's airship, and the kiddos glamours all drop from stress. This is where the gang confirms (they had suspiscions) that MK is a disguised demon - they dont mind since thats sadly common in human-dominated cities. MK specifically being a monkey demon gets Tang asking questions though.

Red Son shows up and has a brain-fart mid-plan when he recognises who "Noodle Boy" actually is;

Red Son: "Xiaotian!? I haven't seen you since we were calves! This explains so much!" MK, nervous sweating: "Not now dude! My mom got captured by the Spider Queen, and my dad is MIA right now." Red Son: "Ah but of course. Seems we have the same predicament then. No fear, I have a plan to defeat the Spider Queen and save our respective parents." Tang, panic-nerding: "MK, how do you know Red Son!?" MK, flash of SWK-esque anger: "NOT NOW."

The gang get to the Celestial Realm and retrieve what they need to make the antidote - though not without attracting the attention of a certain hound that just realised her fave monkey is here.

MK, petting the dog: "I'm sorry Quan. I can't play right now! I'm saving the city." Xiaotian Quan: (*sad whine!*)

Meanwhile at the Spider Mech; DBK has finally met his little brother/enemy once again. DBK in his anger, yells about Sun Wukong's "little-thief successor MK" ruining so many of his family's attempts at gaining power, and Wukong just blanks;

Wukong, scary parent voice: "Xiaotian has been doing what!?" DBK: "The Little Thief is Xiaotian!?"

DBK would also shout at Wukong for putting himself in danger in his condition, but quiets when he learns that Macaque is missing. Tieshan had seemed worried since DBK got back (infact, maybe its why she decided to free him), and everyone knows that the shadow monkey wouldn't leave his mate without reason. When LBD arrives, DBK and Wukong immediate get a chill up their spines. They both know that she's somehow involved with Mac's disappearance... DBK has his super-saiyan moment of worried-anger and frees both himself and his xiandi so that they can find their reckless kids.

The Noodle Shop gang (+ Red Son and the cubs) bust on through with the spider-venom antidote and manage to subdue the Spider Queen with their combined forces.

Tang is about to fanboy at the sight of Sun Wukong in the flesh when MK and the cubs yell something that shatters his preconceptions.

MK & the cubs: "Mom!" "Mama!" Noodle Shop Gang: "MOM?!?" Wukong, swarmed by baby monkeys: "Thank Nuwa you're all ok!" (*hugs them all tight*) Wukong: (*suddenly bonks MK on head with a sandal*) Wukong: "And you! How dare you not tell me that you've been fighting demons this whole time! You told me you were only getting a job for mortal experience!" MK: "But mom! I did get a job! I've been using my spare time trying to figure out what happened to dad!" Wukong: "Which I specifically told you Not to do!! Your father has gotten himself tangled up with a very dangerous witch and I'm not letting you run into one of her traps!" Noddle Shop Gang + DB fam: (*standing at a safe distance from the yelling*) Tang, dizzy with excitement: "Anyone else feel like they're in a fantasy right now?" Mei: "Hm, not really. I knew Xiaotian since we were pups. My grunkle Ao Lie is the same dragon-horse from the stories." Tang: "Excuse me!?"

Erlang shows up on Earth asking Wukong tf just happened - his third eye showed him the chaos in the Celestial Realm and Lao Tzu is pissed for his missing pills and Furnace. But he immediately leaves when he sees tje carnage of a saved mortal city + Sun Wukong. (Erlang: "Ah. Say no more.")

[grassbreads]

What Tai Sui is and Why Everyone Should Read It

So if you follow me, over the past couple weeks, you've probably noticed me obsessively screenshotting and posting about a book called Tai Sui. And now that I've finished it, I'd like to try and convince y'all to give it a chance.

What Is Tai Sui?

Tai Sui is a chinese web novel—a relatively unpopular work by the very popular author Priest (author of Guardian and Sha Po Lang, among others). Unlike a lot of the most popular web novels on tumblr, it's not a danmei. It's in fact rather important to the plot and themes that there is almost entirely no romance, but I promise you, it is absolutely worth it regardless.

What is Tai Sui About?

Tai Sui is a steampunk xianxia cultivation story. For those unfamiliar with xianxia and cultivation, this is a particular genre of Chinese historical fantasy.

The official summary of Tai Sui reads as follows:

“If I had a choice, I would only want to be a little insect in the mundane dust, born in confusion, dying in mediocrity, never seeing the light of day beneath the fog of Jinping City.

Better than taking this wrong road to heaven.”

You may have noticed that this summary is not in fact really a summary. It gives you a glimpse into the story's themes, mood, and destination, but it doesn't exactly tell you what happens in it.

That's because Tai Sui is one of those works that's incredibly hard to summarize. The story is incredibly wide in scope and changes massively over its course, to the point that any summary that encapsulates the whole thing is going to feel like a spoiler. However, I can try my best to add a little detail without giving too much away.

Tai Sui is the story of Xi Ping—an obnoxious, trouble-making rich boy with no interest in cultivation—who gets unwittingly involved in a plot to resurrect the "evil god" Tai Sui. This plot pulls him into the cultivation world against his will and, over time, threatens to rewrite everything he is.

Tai Sui is the end of immortality.

Why Should You Read Tai Sui?

Tai Sui is one of the most compelling stories I have ever read. It is a love letter to the power and promise of the whole world and its many mundane people. It also has some of the best worldbuilding I have ever seen.

Tai Sui is written in omniscient perspective, and though Xi Ping is very much the main character, as the story progresses, we spend more and more time alongside characters that aren't him. By the time the novel ends, his entire continent is at stake, and we the audience know that continent and its troubles inside and out from countless angles. Everyone from the immortal demigods of the cultivation world to the most wretched, miserable paupers is given a grand sense of emphasis.

Tai Sui is a deconstruction of the cultivation genre. It establishes a magic/cultivation system and its history, lets the main character live in that system for a while, and then dives deep into that system's depths. It looks at the cultivation genre, at the idea of people who leave behind their status as mortals for greater things, and asks "How does this really work?" and "Is this how the world should be?"

Tai Sui is the story of countless people who were never supposed to be powerful coming together to make the world a better place. It's well written (and very well translated), exciting, heartbreaking, and incredibly beautiful. It's also funny as hell.

I cannot recommend this story enough.

Warnings/Caveats

As I said before, Tai Sui is a deconstruction of the cultivation genre. If you're unfamiliar with this genre, while the book is certainly readable, you are going to be thrown head first into the deep end with the tropes and terminology at play. It's absolutely worth the learning curve, but it will be kind of a lot. Maybe do some light googling about what a cultivator is before you pick it up. (Or just ask a fan. I think most of us would happily explain anything that would win a new reader).

There are portrayals of people/cultures in Tai Sui that are heavily inspired by minority cultures in real-world China, and some of these portrayals play into pretty harmful stereotypes. It's not SPL "Barbarian" or TGCF Banyue levels of racist, but it's something to be aware of and careful about. I'd really recommend reading from the perspectives of those from the cultures in question (including but not limited to the post I linked) for more about the issues I'm talking about.

Tai Sui's English translation is 930,000 words long. I believe this is a strength, since its length is what allows it such an incredible scope. It is also a fucking daunting commitment, and I acknowledge that.

Finally, while Tai Sui doesn't need too many trigger warnings, it does contain some pretty viscerally upsetting depictions of inequality and mistreatment, as well as a few instances of violence toward children. You can't uplift without first seeing what the people need uplifting from, and hooboy. They need it.

There's also some scenes that are technically rather violent, but the goriness is not presented as gore, if that makes sense. It never feels intensely or overly violent in the way some fantasy novels do.

Links

If all my gushing and propagandizing has convinced you to give it a try, you can find the original Chinese version (where you can buy chapters to support the author) on JJWXC.

The complete English translation is free on the website of E. Danglars, who does a truly incredible job with the translating.

Happy reading :).

[instarsandcrime]

Ambrosia to Go

@here-for-the-sick-fics Hi hello! I broke rather early, so thanks for the request! I'm not sure if it's what you had in mind, but I liked the challenge and I like Huskerdust! So! Here! You go! Enjoy!

Part 1

--

As the local bartender, Husk was very aware of what made the Hazbin Hotel tick. And unfortunately, that did not stop with how they handled illness.

Charlie was not one to hide it, but she would play it down and throw endless hours into her work until she collapsed. A rumor had started around the hotel that their bartender had thrown a blanket around her shoulders when she passed out at the counter. And he'll keep saying 'no, that didn't happen' until he's blue in the face because well, no one was there to prove it, were they?

As far as he can tell, he knows Alastor can get sick. Sort of. Kind of. A sniff here, a cough there. Even if, by rare chance that an overlord gets sick, he can hide those little details-- and hide them well. It would take only God themself to even catch him sneezing more than once.

When Lucifer gets hit, he gets hit hard. Denying it is somehow his go-to strategy even when the slightest cold knocks him down. Last time he'd seen the king sick he'd been working on some pretty important documents and, by the end of one of his many fits, he'd sneezed so hard that he breathed fire through the entire stack.

Niffty doesn't get sick. She's never gotten sick once since they started working together. He knows this. She knows this. It's incredibly unsettling and he'd rather not talk about it.

And today, he’s unfortunately left with...

"Angel Dust." Husk raised a bushy brow, "I'm cuttin' you off. You look like you're gonna pass out any second now."

And there sat the demon of the hour, famous porn star beloved by millions, plastered out of his mind and clutching a glass of what he calls his 'medical ambrosia'.

"Lissen! Lissen. Iii..." Angel's nose scrunched, and quickly covered it with a tissue-- which Husk nudged slightly to the left for accuracy's sake. "Hep'shhh! HET'shhhiieww. Ugh, gross."

The owlcat winced, fighting back the guilt he'd stuffed down for hours now. "Ange, I--"

"Shaddup!" Four accusatory fingers pointed, "If I had a cold I'd have it! And if I had your previous cold I'd say shhhhhaddup! Because you're-- snffff! you're a real nice guy, y'know that?"

"But--"

"Shhhhhhh!" Angel squinted, "All...all four of ya shut yer traps. You were worth it and don't you forget it. 'Kay?"

That speech was way too sincere. Oh God above he has to care again, doesn't he? Rolling his eyes with a groan, Husk swept the half empty shooter from the swaying patron’s grip.

"Hey! What gives?!"

Wordlessly he tossed Angel’s ambrosia down the drain, jumpstarting the closing time routine.

"Don't be like that Whiskers! We were just...g-gettin'...g-gettin' intehh...hih!" Angel hitched, fanning himself desperately before--

"HEP'shhhh!" He pitched forward, caught by a tissue in helping paws. The bartender sighed– then repressed a shiver when the sickly spider blew messily into cheap paper.

"Yer lucky you're cute." Husk grumbled.

"Whassat?"

"Nothin'." Tossing the soaked through tissue in the wastebasket, he snaked an arm around Angel Dust's waist. "C'mon sickie, let's get you to bed."

As he pulled Angel off the stool, it took a few seconds for his mind to buffer before sobering up a little and– here we go. Right on cue.

"Y'know this’s just allergies, right?"

"Mmmhm." Husk nodded mechanically, inching up one velvet step at a time.

"An' really, when ya think about it-- snff! Niffty's been slackin', y'know?"

"Sure." Second floor.

"I mean, missin' an hour of cleanin' today and for whuhh- what? Fightin' more roaches?"

"A shame, really." Third floor, second door on the right.

"And I...I-I..." Angel wobbled, breath hitching. Without even glancing Husk held a claw up to the spider’s nose. "Snff! Ugh. Thags."

"Shut up." Husk swore as they stumbled into the room. Purple fluorescent lights rained down on a plush bed, vanity close by. Thankfully with tissues, because he knew what was coming next. 

"Id's cold id here, isn't it?"

"Yup." Husk grunted, leaning to grab a piece while balancing Angel with the other arm. "Pretty-- ugh-- chilly."

"I mbean geez! Sub-- snff! someone should really turn up the thermos-staahhh-hheh-hihhHIHH'ATSHHHHH!" Angel pitched forward again, and Husk spread his wings to keep balance, pressing a cloth to his face before he could get sprayed. "Guh..."

"Gesundheit." Husk deadpanned. The finger under the nose trick can only work so well when it literally and figuratively backfires a few seconds later. "Alright, let's lay you down before--..." 

He tugged, but his patient wasn't moving. He was busy staring into the mirror. 

"Angel?" A paw squeezed his bicep.

"...I can't wear the robe."

"What?"

"I can’t wear the robe. He's gonna kill me." Angel Dust repeated, turning pale. "I-I…we have this scene tomorrow with this sexy lingerie bathrobe lookin' thing and-- and I look like a wreck. I sound like a wreck. When I get sick I get messy and I'm gonna sneeze all over the stubid thi’g--"

"Angel--"

"And thed Val's gudda see how gross I mbade it--"

"Hey, hey, easy." Gently guiding Angel to the bed, he mourned at the way his fluffy frame shook. “Let’s sit you down before you fall down, okay? We'll take this one step at a time. And I won’t drop you, promise."

"...I-I kndow." The patient shot him a shaky smile. Shivering and unsteady, Husk tucked the tissue box beside him and draped the comforter over his shoulders.

"Okay." He took four gloved hands in one of his own, other reaching to help Angel Dust wipe his eyes. Then moved to his nose. "Blow."

"Wh-- I cad't let you do that! It's disgustig--!"

"Good to know, ‘cause we've done this all night."

"We have?! Oh, Husgk..."

"Trust me, I've cleaned up worse at the bar."

Pink cheeks glowing red, Angel rid himself of the muck as quickly as possible-- relieved sigh quickly replaced with panic.

"It's alright." Husk kneaded patterns on the other's thigh, glancing a knowing look. "Like I said, I'm not gonna drop ya."

Understanding, Angel scooped the tissue up and pressed it to his nose. "Et'SHHHH'iiew! ep'shhhh! Ghuhh..." With another honking blow he tossed the wadded ball on the desk, flopping face first into the pillowy mattress. Husk's eyes traveled everywhere but to his partner...in...crime? Ugh. Still not sure. Instead his attention lay on Fat Nuggets while he waited, little menace snoring softly in the corner.

"...I'm gross." Angel Dust rasped, muffled through satin and lace.

"I can see that." 

"Forget what just happened. I was actin’ stupid, freakin’ out over nothin’."

"Nah." Claws threaded through tangled hair, "Fuck your boss. You should sneeze in his face."

Angel Dust snorted. Husk smirked. "Yeah. Really make 'im squirm. He wants messy fluids right?"

Slowly moving to lean against the headboard, the spider brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as he stared. Pupils shrunk to pinpricks like he was at the climax of a horror movie.

"...What? I'm right." A pointed ear flicked irritably.

"Nope. Nuh-uh. Shut up. Did you just make a sex pun?"

Husk blinked in surprise, forgetting himself. And only smirked wider.

Alright, new plan.

"Me? Do somethin' like that? C'mon Legs, you're grasping. All I'm sayin' is ya gotta take a few tissues and get real passionate with 'em."

"Hhhhholy shhhhit."

"Then stuff 'em in his chest fluff or something. He can use 'em as padding."

"Are you real?" Angel gasped teasingly.

"What? You said you were gross. If he's not lettin' you call in, you might as well snee--"

"Hp'shhhh! HT'SHHHH'hhoo! Unh..."

"Yeah. Like that."

Pausing to let his patient give a gurgling blow, the tail end of a miserable groan broke into a soft giggle. Giggle breaking into another hitching mess until--

"Hih'TSCHHH! HTCH'shhhiew! H-hih-hhhHHITSCHHHH!"

"Alright, alright, that's enough excitement for one night." Husk quickly got to work, grabbing the required fluffy sweater and pajama pants. Ignoring the disappointed pout between pulling the top over Angel's stomach with a satisfied tug.

"Aw Husk–snfff! Really? Pants? I don't wannaaaa."

"Yes, pants. I thought you said you were cold."

"But they're such a paiiinnnn."

"Do you wanna get more sick?"

"...No."

"Then I'll go back to my room so you can slip those on."

A single step and--

"Wait!" Angel blurted.

A pause filled the room, save for a few coughs dragged out by the sudden burst.

"...Need something?"

"I, uh. I'm not ready."

"Christ Ange, are you still drunk? Jus’ put on your pants one leg at a time–"

"No! What?! No! I don’t want you to leave!" An aching voice broke. Tired eyes squeezed shut. Suddenly feeling rather small, he forced his gaze down to his gloves, peeling them off one by one as he spoke. "I…I-I know it's late, so you can always say no. I just…I don't wanna be alone right now."

Another pause. “...Please.”

A sharp sigh immediately cut any creeping tension, listening to a winged back thump against the wall. "I get it. Bein’ sick is…a lot. You don't need to write me an essay. And I don't pick favorite customers, but I gotta admit. I'll keep the bar open all night if it means I get to talk to Anthony again. Just once, that’s all I need."

[thesweetnessofspring]

Why do you think so many people ship Gale and Madge?

AHHHHH I am so excited you asked me this!! Forgive me but now I get to nerd out about writing!!

Ok, to understand exactly what I'm going to be talking about, I highly recommend this video about good romantic plots (it's about 20 minutes long). The video essayist uses Beauty and the Beast 1991 in comparison to the 2017 remake to as an example, showing why the original works and the remake fails despite using so much of the same storyline/dialogue. But tldw; good romance is a dance, where the characters go back and forth with one another, challenging each other and then coming together before pulling away and coming together again.

Katniss and Gale lack the push-and-pull that gets talked about in this video. Gale pushes, Katniss pushes back, and they end up further away from each other than before. It's this way through the trilogy until they're irreparably separated. Take this part of their first scene together (I'm taking just the dialogue for brevity):

"We could do it, you know," Gale says quietly. "What?" I ask. "Leave the district. Run off. Live in the woods. You and I, we could make it," says Gale. "If we didn't have so many kids," he adds quickly. "I never want to have kids," I say. "I might, if I didn't live here," says Gale. "But you do," I say, irritated. "Forget it," he snaps back.

Here, Gale makes a proposal: what if we ran away to the woods? Katniss is quiet, he feels her drifting away so he tries to correct it and brings up how difficult it would be with their families. This prompts Katniss to make a definitive statement about not wanting kids, which pushes Gale away since it interferes with his desire to partner with her. Gale offers his perspective as another little push, that he would want kids, and Katniss pushes him back again by reminding him he does live in Panem with the Games and he's irritated and pushes her away. Occasionally one of them might pull the other toward them (Gale's whipping and Katniss's prep teams, for example) but that's not enough to make up for all of the times they're pushing away from each other.

We only get one scene of Gale and Madge together, but there's more of that push-and-pull dance here:

"Pretty dress," says Gale. Madge shoots him a look, trying to see if it's a genuine compliment or if he's just being ironic. It is a pretty dress, but she would never be wearing it ordinarily. She presses her lips together and then smiles. "Well, if I end up going to the Capitol, I want to look nice, don't I?" Now it's Gale's turn to be confused. Does she mean it? Or is she just messing with him? I'm guessing the second. "You won't be going to the Capitol," says Gale coolly. His eyes land on a small, circular pin that adorns her dress. Real gold. Beautifully crafted. It could keep a family in bread for months. "What can you have? Five entries? I had six when I was just twelve years old." "That's not her fault," I say. "No, it's no one's fault. Just the way it is," says Gale. Madge's face has become closed off. She puts the money for the berries in my hand. "Good luck, Katniss."

We have Gale starting off with the first push. Rather than pushing back by snapping at him, she pulls him in with a challenge: looking nice when everyone (including potential sponsors) is important, so if it's a dig at her, she counter him. And Katniss notes Gale is confused. Madge has thrown him off! He engages in the dance by pushing again, noting how unlikely it is that she'll go to the Capitol. This has shut Madge down as Katniss notes, but this is their first interaction we see in the story, so it's only the starting point. It would be a good opportunity for Madge to get to pull him back in, especially after Prim was reaped with only one entry. We do see from this exchange that Madge can do the pull of the romantic dance with Gale while Katniss doesn't.

Adding in that Madge becoming interested in the woods and shooting after Katniss returns from the Games and then her going to give morphling to Gale after his whipping are the other hints that maybe Madge has feelings for Gale.

Gadge wouldn't happen in canon because it doesn't serve the theme of the just war theory, or Katniss's story. Gale had to maintain his romantic pursuit of Katniss as part of Katniss navigating her feelings about how to engage in war. Madge had to die to show that even a mayor and his family weren't safe from the government that they'd received some benefit from.

But in fanfiction? Their dynamic is RIFE with this potential for the romantic dance. Gale is never really able to engage in the humanity of those who had an advantage from him. Philosophically, he can see it's the Capitol pitting them against each other, but he resents Madge that she didn't have to put additional entries in the reaping ball. He doesn't appear to form bonds with anyone who has been given advantages by the Capitol, and he even grows more distant from Katniss as she can start affording nice clothes and more food (though obviously Peeta is part of this resentment, too). Gale never really understands why Katniss cares about her prep team, even though he tries to engage with them as a peace offering to her.

Pairing him with Madge makes him have to confront this and grow. If Gadge were to form a relationship, Gale would have to really put aside that resentment that holds him back. He would have to see Madge as a whole, not just the advantages she'd been given. And from the pin she gives Katniss to her family backstory to the morphling, you get the sense that Madge wants to rebel. Gale would make her confront the privilege she does have in this system and fight to change it. She would move from subtle acts of rebellion to fully participating in the fight. And seeing this play out with them challenging one another's viewpoints, sharing their life experiences, coming together to work as a team, has potential for really great character growth and exploration for both of them.

[sarucane]

Why did Ed think becoming a fisherman made any sense at all?

Seriously, this was always a ridiculous idea. Stede gets zero blame for laughing the first time Ed says it--it's an even crazier and more extreme whim than Ed saying "we'll go to China." And it's reasonable that it blindsides Stede for Ed to be leaving--a few hours ago Ed was making Stede breakfast in bed and taking Stede out to his favorite restaurant, and now he's leaving forever. That's a hell of a mindfuck there. So why does Ed think it makes sense to follow this whim?

Ed starts this episode by throwing away his leathers. He's trying to discard and excise the 'kraken' part of his personality, trying to consciously transform into something else (hence wearing Button's clothes).

At first, he's also trying to embrace being with Stede.

He volunteers information that shows how important Stede is to him by describing the mermaid vision. But, just like when he told Stede about how "sometimes it's nice to just be patient," Ed's not directly owning his feelings here. He's skimming right past the fact that it was he, himself, who was choosing (unconsciously, but still choosing) to die, and his bond to Stede is why he came back. In fact, the closest he comes to actually saying he felt a certain way is by admitting he panicked over the twine.

And Stede, who just feels so secure in this relationship right now, more comfortable in his skin than we've ever seen him, just does not get Ed's insecurity. He doesn't reassure Ed by saying "the breakfast is great with or without the twine" he says "it actually made it!" And when Ed tells about the vision, Stede doesn't seem to register how big a deal it was.

They're not communicating here, they're just not. They've had this very intimate experience, but there's still distance between them. The visuals reinforce this: they're at opposite ends of the bed, they don't come close to touching at any point in the scene. Ed's dressed and Stede's comfortably naked.

Ed snuck out of bed and went to throw his leathers away by himself. He doesn't tell Stede what he's done, and Stede doesn't comment on Ed walking around in Buttons' clothes. Ed's thrown away the kraken--and then he watches Stede embrace being "a sea god."

And this fear and disconnection to Stede goes right back to how Ed's been acting ever since he came back. He's not been opening up to Stede. He's not been willing to get vulnerable with Stede again; he doesn't trust himself not to wreck it and get his heart broken, and he doesn't trust Stede not to break his heart. The filmmaking choices (bless this amazing meta for explaining it all) have been signaling this ever since they found each other again: they love each other, but they're on different wavelengths.

Ed's trust in Stede is brittle, even before he gets the idea that he and Stede want different things out of life (piracy vs anything-but-piracy). So, Ed goes out and sits with himself. Then he takes Izzy's suggestion and he listens to himself, to his desire not to live a certain life anymore.

But rather than deciding to talk to Stede about this, he decides he's going to leave before the conversation even starts.

Ed gets really, really close to real communication with Stede here. He admits that he doesn't feel safe in the relationship, and that the speed and intensity that Stede has reveled in have made Ed feel less safe.

And even now, even though he lost all track of Ed for a big chunk of the day and now he's being surprised by deep withdrawal--Stede is still all in. He could have been heartbroken or angry. He could have panicked and apologized, or frozen and shut down the conversation.

Instead, Stede listens. And he tries to make good on what he told Ed: "I love everything about you."

But Ed doesn't really hear this, because he doesn't trust Stede, the connection between them, or himself. Because "Trust no one" includes not trusting oneself.

Rather than engaging with what Stede actually says, Ed starts ranting, and uses his own insecurities to push Stede away. Stede's right, it is panic.

Stede mirrors Ed's body language all through this part of the scene. He gets what's happening, understands insecurity and what it can trigger (particularly related to an insecurity of "I'm bad for you you're better off without me") deeply--which is why it's so easy for him to forgive this later.

But while Stede understands exactly what's going on now that Ed's finally talking to him directly, for Ed it's all confusing and happening much too fast. So he shuts down, lashes out, and bails out.

Figuring himself out is complicated, navigating his relationship with Stede is complicated, trust and self-realization are complicated. Fishing, on the other hand, is simple. Unlike love or psychological integration, there's no risks in fishing.

[emotionallyattachednerd]

Estrella | RotB Mirage x f!human reader | NSFW 18+

Word count: 2600+

Warnings: Smut ( oral and spike penatration ), robot on human, language, some angst and mentions of abuse. NSFW 18+.

Notes: I've really been wanting to do a story for Mirage for so long. Thanks @lonetile for sending in your request. Hope you enjoy the read and sorry for the delay. Estrella is spanish for star, just thought I'd point that out.

Understand Mirage is already smallish for a robot but decided for him to use mass displacement with reader for this story.

Who would've thought in an attempt to escape your shitty life you would end up falling from your low level apartment level window and would end up falling into the lift of a giant alien robot?

You couldn't take it anymore, the yelling, the abuse, you were losing your mind within the people who were meant to be your family and yet treated you worse than a dog.

In an attempt to escape you somehow get thrown into the new discovery of robots, despite just how hurt you ended up, the blue and silver guy had a much more tender face than anyone you've met before. As crazy as it sounds, you felt safe with him.

Your neighbour, Noah, was in on this secret as well and pretended to own the flash car when it was really an alien robot. Sure, why not? Both Noah and who's name you discover is Mirage both escort you to a hospital where you're treated before being given the all clear. All you were going to do was call someone you knew, not family, but you knew you would be safe with them if you don't piss them off.

Hanging out with a gang wasn't your smartest move but you are limited with options. Although you're surprised to find Mirage waiting for you. Noah has offered you to stay with him and go home to set up a spot for you to sleep. Might be close to your old home but at least they couldn't hurt you anymore.

You settled with Noah and his alien robot friend. Very normal.

Estrella. That's what Mirage keeps calling you. You try to tell him that's not your name but he only responds with a casual 'I know'. A nickname perhaps, but you've never been given a kind nickname before, so you weren't fully sure how to react or feel about it. He always looks out for you, making sure you are well and drives you to wherever you want. At first it felt like your own personal bodyguard, which quickly grew into a friend, and before you knew it you were gaining stronger feelings for Mirage. Probably not wise you thought to yourself.

There's no way you'll confess this to Mirage, convinced he'll think you're weird and that's it, friendship broken. It became harder though the more time you spent with him, how affectionate he was and funny, everything about him was the perfect boyfriend you think to yourself.

But that won't ever happen.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Mirage's voice echoing through the radio as he drives. "Estrella? This handsome guy is talking to you, and you're ignoring him and it kind of hurts?" Mirage sings along with a hint of playfulness.

"Shit. Sorry, Mirage. What were you saying?" You give a sympathetic smile as he now has your full attention.

"Well, firstly, what made you so distracted to not hear me? There better not be anyone more important in your life." More teasing. He always has such a strong effect on you.

"Just thinking about everything, my life before and how I ended up here, with the most badass robot ever." You nudge back through your words.

"Now that's more like it!" Mirage ends up giving a loud toot from his horn making you giggle faintly. "Now, as I was saying, Noah is busy with other things and I'm rather lonely, so I'm taking my favourite lady somewhere nice. Care to give this handsome guy some attention?"

His words always make you warm and fuzzy, an effect no one else has ever made you feel better, and it was so addictive. You craved more.

"You have my full attention now, Mirage. That sounds amazing. Where are we going?" You can't help but feel like he was taking you on a date. You can only imagine that, because surely it wasn't.

"It's a surprise." The rev from his engine sounds like a purr.

"I can't wait."

The drive was peaceful, even more with the soft jazz blues he was playing over the radio for you, the time with him is just what you needed and wanted. Upon arrival he asks you to close your eyes and you do. You hear him transform before gently guiding you forward. The salty smell hits your senses along with the silky feel of sand beneath your toes under your sandals.

"The beach." You give a broad smile while keeping your eyes closed.

"Oh what gave that away? I think you took a peek." He gives a sound like a pout.

"Nah ah. How did you know I love the beach?" You question curiously.

"There's a lot I know about you, y/n, my lovely estrella. Alright, open those beautiful eyes."

You do that. The beach, just as you knew, but you still give a giddy excited jump. You really do love the beach. There's a calming peacefulness in the air whenever you come to the spot, though this spot was new to the locations you already knew. He seemed to read this from you.

"This is our own private spot, no one ever comes here."

"Oh? Are we getting up to mischief?"

"So much mischief. But I have something else for you."

"Mirage, you didn't have to go through the trouble." However you did feel very spoilt.

"It was so troublesome, and I wanted our night to be perfect."

You did wonder what the guy was thinking. He was so fond of you and did so much just to try and keep you happy. Do friends just do that? Yeah, they could. Another gasp leaves you when you see what he has made.

A small sheltered spot just big enough for him, though he was already small for his size, with fairy lights and soft plush blankets covering a large mat above the sand. Your own little cubby house.

"This is incredible! I could just kiss you!" You burst out suddenly causing you to shrink down and try to hide your flushed cheeks. His answer caught her by surprise.

"Oh I wouldn't object to that." Mirage smiles before crawling under the cubby and sitting down with his legs stretched out, waiting for you to join him.

Standing there for a bit you let this process through your mind before giving a nervous smile and following in to sit beside him on the blankets.

"This...this is beautiful, thank you." You find your voice before looking at him. However, you are very surprised to find Mirage was now your size, maybe a little bigger, but human size. "Holy shit."

"You like? All for you, estrella." Mirage looks like a happy child.

"Me? I'm not sure what you mean..." Deep down though, you sort of had a growing feeling about all this tonight.

"Y/n, I really like you." The confession from him was so cute, and almost looks like he's blushing. "-

The silence between them hits, and only the sounds from the ocean can be heard while it adds the calmness between you both. Nibbling your bottom lip a little you ponder over your thoughts and go with what your heart was screaming.

"I would appreciate it, if you would kiss me right now.”

The second the words left you, you feel the warm metal of his servo against your cheek and turn your head to face him. He's so beautiful, like a dazzling star, though he might disagree and say you're the dazzling star.

He leans closer and much to your surprise his lips are warm against your own, slowly moving into your own as you kiss him back with a little hunger. It's you that deepens it as you gently push your tongue between his lips to coil with his own, an odd sweetness hitting your taste buds. Mirage let out a soft sound that might've been a moan but you're not very sure, although you are sure that he likes what you're doing because both his servos are holding you against your waist and roaming up and down your sides.

You find yourself laying on your back with him on top of you but keeping his weight off. Even though he was downsized, he didn't want to hurt you with his weight. Once the kiss breaks it gives you a chance to take a breath and gaze up at him lovingly, his smile shining down on you.

"So, was this a date?" You ask through a whisper curiously.

"Maybe..." Mirage was always so smooth, the dork.

"Well, care to make this the best fucking date ever?"

Mirage doesn't answer with words, but he does through his kisses and touches against you, laying you against against the blush blanket while looming over you. You don't care what others might think. Whatever happens tonight you hoped will happen again, and again, forever and ever.

It's only your clothes that need removing. Mirage tugs at the fabric, curious and wondering just how to get them off without ripping them, so you decide to help and toss them aside. You didn't think you could undress so fast.

"Oh sweet Mami." Mirage lets out a steamy vent as his optics gently rank across your perfect exposed body. He leans over and you watch as his glossa darks out, flickering across your perk nipple making your back arch and a silent gasp to leave you. "Does that feel nice?"

"Y-yeah, very." You manage to answer, voice shaky and full of lust.

Mirage lets out a satisfied hum that vibrates against your skin before he closes his mouth over your nipple and sucks, glossa swirling around the sensitive area. Letting out a moan you hand grip into the metal plating of his shoulders for leverage, toes curling into the blankets as the pooling arousal boils through your body. You're moist between your legs already, but honestly you've been like this since the car ride. It's just how he made you feel, you couldn't help yourself.

"Mirage, holy shit!" Your curses make him smirk against your nipple, his free servo massaging across your other round breast. Never did you imagine a robot to feel so warm and tender. Mirage is able to prove that theory without struggle.

"Y/n, I've always wanted to taste you, can I?" Mirage asks against your skin, optics looking over your breasts and assking a soft baby blue glow against your skin.

"Sure..." Your breath hitches when he suddenly moves down and you feel his heated vents against your thighs.

It happens so fast, and before you know it you feel his thick glossa dive into your core. You cry out, not caring who might hear, and hands grip at his helm as you start to rock yourself against his face, moaning lowly as your legs shake through the burning arousal that continues to build.

His glossa coils against your inner walls and lets out a moan that pulls from your bud up through your quivering body. If he kept doing that, you knew you'd cum very quickly, and you didn't want that just yet. So, you held out as best you could, riding through the burning pleasure he delivers.

Just when you thought you were unable to hold out for too much longer, he stops, causing you to whimper out like a wounded puppy.

"Oh don't worry my pretty estrella, I have something else better for you." He's purring, at least that's what it sounds like to you. He climbs like a snake up over you again, pressing himself between your legs and you hear metal plating shifting. The next you feel is something long, warm and pulsing sliding up against your thigh.

Looking down between you both you're enthralled by the beauty he possessed. You've never seen anything like it before. His length pulse lively, small ridges running along the base and what looks like veins brightly blue coloured made him look incredible. He notices your reaction and giggle softly. "Like what you see?"

"It's beautiful." You say through a heated breath before meeting his optics. "You're beautiful."

"Naw, thank you, but you're more beautiful darling." He gently pressed his tip against you, keeping his stare on your face. Shifting forward he enters you, slowly filling inch by inch and giving you a short time to adjust.

Despite being human size, he was still quite thick as you feel yourself being stretched more than you've ever felt before. It's not your first time, though you wished it was, just so you could've given yourself to Mirage. Opening your legs you give him as much space as possible, watching him move further forward above you before feeling him flushed right up against you. You can feel everything, every pulse and hear every sound coming from him as he keeps still to savour you.

"Oh y/n, so perfect, tight, feels nice." Mirage vents out before lowering himself closer and sharing a kiss with you, slowly withdrawing a little and thrusting back in, setting a slow and gentle pace.

Your head tilts back against the blankets with your neck stretched out, giving him the invitation to kiss and softly nip at the soft skin against your neck as he rolls his hips against you over again. Moving your hands around you place them behind his neck, still moaning as you feel yourself being filled gently over again.

Each ridge tugs at your inner walls as does every pulse shakes through, causing you to clench around him more and tighten your thighs.

"Mirage...oh fuck! You feel so good....fuck!" You chant over again.

"Oh primus, beautiful estrella, I've got you, Mirage has you always." He moans before he starts to pick up his speed, causing you to let out another lingering moan, gasping at each firm thrust he delivers.

This won't last long, you already knew this, because he's just so damn perfect and you are already worked up from before. Your thighs tighten around his waist, fingers digging into his soft metal feeling each thrust and hearing the clapping of his armour hitting against you over again, but it only added to the boiling arousal that's about to overflow any second.

"M-mirage...Mirage!" You chant his name before your body stiffens and you tighten around his thrusting spike buried deep in you, cumming hard and riding out the flooded arousal spilled from you.

Mirage is chanting himself, words you don't understand, and you guess are words from his language which you find quite alluring in your tired and blurry state. His optics shutter close and he's rutting against you, hard, before stilling and letting out a choked yelp that you find kind of cute.

Feeling his sticky warmness filling your core you feel every throb from his spike as he slowly pulls out from you, every bump tugging gently before he is gone, and you feel pretty empty without him. Though you do feel what he left behind pooling in your belly and that's a beautiful satisfaction.

He rolls and gently holds you close against him, planting kisses against your skin as his servos roam softly across your backside.

"I think destiny wants us to be together, and you should never argue with destiny.”

"You know what? I agree with that." There's no way you wanted to refuse this moment with him, or a chance to be his.

"If you be my star, I'll be your sky." Mirage whispers fondly, pressing his face gently into your neck while you caress his warm metal cheek plating under your hand.

"I'll be your star." You declare back softly, loving the idea.

"My beautiful estrella."