#i think it's crazy that the same ppl are producing it tho

[wp100]

watched the most recent ghostbusters movie (frozen empire?)

It was alright. I preferred afterlife, but still really enjoyed this one. lots of character development and good humour

[golbrocklovely]

finally, after so long, here is my review of the conjuring series/hell week.

this is EXTREMELY LONG so strap in, grab a drink, and a snack. or, feel free to skip to the end to read my overall thoughts lol

like previous hell weeks, i'm gonna rate each episode and then answer whether or not i would rewatch the episode.

lmk what you guys thought !

episode one:

the obvious meat and potatoes of this whole video was satori and cody's method, which i'm just gonna refer to as The Method just bc it's easier to say then writing out their names over and over again lol

i'll be honest with you, i'm super glad that snc did their best to debunk the tapping and whatnot. i honestly think that if they hadn't tried, a lot of ppl wouldn't believe them at all or would think that either they're lying, or satori and cody are.

as for the answers that satori and cody gave… it's hard. bc on one hand i truly do believe in psychics and mediums. i myself have experienced readings or things i have done on my own. i have had a lot of things happen to me that just logically don't make sense. i do believe there are ppl that have the ability to talk to the dead. but part of me is weary of satori and cody. idk know them from a hole in the wall. they could have easily researched snc, and their past relatives, and just bullshitted the rest. same thing with their producer. it's not hard to look up someone's ancestry. i would like to believe that isn't the case, but you can't be too sure.

the debunking that snc tried did make a strong case for The Method, especially doing it in random locations that they didn't know about. but again… idk. part of me just felt like i was side-eying the whole time. and look, i want to believe that they have good intentions and they are genuinely contacting something. but again, ppl lie for far less.

but no matter if they were lying or not, i 100% believe snc's reaction to it. it was real for them, and that's all that really matters to me tbh.

i felt really bad for sam, or i guess happy for him but sad that he was crying so much. my theory with him has always been that even tho he has experienced attachments and heard things, seen things, all that jazz - i truly think for the longest time he never fully believed. i think he would rather chalk up a paranormal experience as a group psychosis before saying a place was haunted. but since that probably wouldn't bode well for either of them, he just agreed that what they experienced was "crazy" and moved on like nothing happened. also, i have this general feeling that he doesn't believe his own experiences, which is why he questions ppl like colby when he goes thru something, but i haven't really fleshed out why that could be the case. but i think this was his "come to jesus" moment, so to speak. i mean, he explained it himself that he honestly didn't think there was anything after this life. that once you died, you're gone. so this was both great and terrifying news to hear. not to mention, to hear it from your dead grandmother was definitely surprising for sure. i honestly hope this brought him some closure or comfort. bc i know i always felt really sad growing up that my grandparents, literally all of them, never got to see me graduate high school or college or perform on stage. but i always had a feeling that they watched me do all of that so it's nice to hear that for someone else, that was the case.

granted, The Method could just be bullshit to conjure up an emotional response for views and notoriety… but for now, i'm gonna just take it at face value. sure, it's real. i think what also makes me lean towards that is that cody and satori don't charge ppl for this. it only happens at the conjuring for the most part, so…. unless they start becoming a side-show circus act with a big ticket price, i'm just gonna take them at their word. plus, the random locations snc took them to, unless the boys are in on it (which opens up too many cans of worms), The Method wouldn't have been able to work in these spots or actually have satori and cody come up with real ppl that died there.

i will say tho, it was kinda funny that sam's having this emotional breakdown over hearing his grandmom telling him she's watching over him and his siblings, and then colby's getting his great grandfather coming thru to tell him to tell his parents that he's there lol like…. thanks dude i never met. appreciate the love and support.

overall this episode was fine. it wasn't my favorite of the series, but it wasn't a bad way to start the series. this episode did draw me in enough to want to see the rest, but i was also a little weary of what was to come.

(oh yeah i forgot to add that the new owner… something feels deeply off about her. like i can't put my finger on it, but if it comes out years down the line that she was bringing demons into the house or something, i will not be surprised lol)

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: yeah i guess, but not fully

~~~~~~~~

episode two:

so going into this episode, i was a bit… not excited, since i knew amanda was going to be in the video. i've always had my reservations with her. mostly, i think she has abilities, i just think she talks them up to be something that they aren't. plus she has made some comments in past videos that just make me look at her sideways bc they don't make a lick of fucking sense (ie queen mary, she talked to a ghost that said he had lived other lives before this one, he was just stuck in this one for some reason, and she literally told snc she didn't believe that bc "reincarnation isn't in the bible" …..BRO, you talk to the dead. maybe not everything in a 2000+ year old book that's been translated 150+ times is gonna be accurate. also again, need i remind you, YOU TALK TO DEAD PPL). as for how i felt about her during this episode, she was fine, i guess. the only time she annoyed me was during the estes method where her and sam were just bouncing off one another in the worse way lol but i'll get more into that later.

i think it was really interesting that they interviewed andrea perron. they need to do that more often: find ppl that used to live in these places that they visit and get their story, instead of just listening to tour guides who amp up the scares just bc they need to. i thought her interview was really intriguing and i can only imagine how horrible it must have been to live in that house all the way back then. and to see your mother get thrown across the room?? idk what i would even do as a kid in that moment.

so the first part of the investigation was with amanda, snc, and cody and satori. (side note, i love that the touch toy for the ghost kids is a basset hound). i think this whole first part was kinda funny only bc in my most cynical mind, it's three fake mediums trying to one up each other the whole time lol

i don't fully believe that, but that's what my mind kept going back to.

i do find it odd that amanda couldn't see her past relatives but The Method was able to allow them to talk. idk, if i could see dead ppl, i think i would be a bit pissed if my loved ones were like "nah, i know you got the vision but i ain't showing myself in front of you". it also doesn't really help her case of what her abilities are or how strong they are if she can't even see ppl she actually once knew.

i also find it odd that all loved ones are apparently able to get across is "watching over __" bc both snc and now amanda got that message. again, to me, this just reads as like someone in this scenario is faking something. idk what, but i just remember laughing at this whole part bc it just felt funny to watch each one try to one up the other and then snc are just like :O the whole time.

and what made this top tier comedy to me was sam asking who wrote amanda's name, and them saying it was a spirit. i'm so sorry…. but you gotta be on fucking CRACK to think that happened. i believe in ghost, the paranormal, the whole enchilada………. but a ghost soldier wrote amanda's name in the sand???? no. sorry. that didn't happened. and you cannot tell me it did lmao

honestly in situations like this, i'm more incline to believe equipment than these, respectfully, quack jobs.

i thought it was sweet that colby kept being really nice to abigail and calling her the matriarch of the house. isn't he just a sweet boy lol

the second half of the day 2 was where i got more interested and into the video. the rempod going off constantly, the camera immediately dying, that little cabinet door opening, all of that in like five minutes is crazy. and then the estes method, while interesting, was also deeply annoying since sam and amanda decided to tag team and do the one thing i hate that they try to do during the estes method - connect everything while the words are still coming out. like CALM DOWN. connect later. it was freaky to see the rempod going off in time with their estes method tho.

the woods session was kinda cool. idk how i feel about the alice box yet. why does it only say some words but the others are just on the little text box? whatever i guess. gonna be honest, woods don't really scare me for paranormal reasons. i'm more inclined to believe i'm gonna get my ass eaten by a bear or stabbed by a human so it wasn't really all that creepy, but it was cool to see this half. and then to have snc sleep in the woods… props. but to be in the woods in august in hoodies was a choice i wouldn't make, personally.

day three josh and seth came and thank GOD there were ppl in this series/episode i actually liked that joined them. their half made the video a lot better. so they start off by doing the ritual, which honestly just felt more like (literally) dancing on someone's grave so…. idk about that one. a bit disrespectful if you ask me. colby literally did the ice spice on her grave… boy i would haunt your ass for eternity for that one lmao

hearing andrea perron speak of that fateful night of her mother being possessed, again, my heart breaks for her. whether you believe in the paranormal or not, something traumatic happened to her and her family. and i just feel for her.

so when they moved on into the investigation, i just gotta say, if they plan to use the spirit box, they NEED to invest in a microphone or a better speaker for that thing bc good god i couldn't hear a single thing that was coming thru. but moving past the spirit box, the door to the library just opening on it's own?? and the camera moving slightly?? that's nuts. bc it's one thing for a draft to open a door. you're talking about the middle of august tho. there's not gonna be strong winds (for the most part) during that time of the year unless it's storming. so if a draft blew the door open, it had to have been a HUGE one to literally push a rock out of the way. and it can't be ac bc then that door would be constantly opening.

when they separated, i get why they did, but like… why do you have to do it in the dark? i would be turning on flashlights or some form of light immediately. you're not about to catching me busting my ass on the stairs of a 300+ year old house lol

josh's sleeve moving was actually kinda freaky, ngl. i know it was very subtle, and technically could have just him moving his arm and then feeling the sleeve pull or relax or whatever, but to me… it looked like something pulled it.

then when snc went in alone, i find it funny to think of a spirit just running up and down the stairs, fucking with the rempod or the motion sensor, just to see them freak out. when sam invited whatever it was up to them, and then it got near the motion thing, and colby noped out of there and literally yelled at sam like "why did you invite it up here with us?!" ngl - favorite part of the whole video. also it was kinda cute that snc tried to do The Method on their own. kinda wish it would have worked for them.

colby doing the whole "imagine being andrea perron" speech he gave…. colby, can you not? also, are you good? lol

okay, so my overall thoughts on this episode - dragged in the beginning, but got good half way thru. they also got some really good evidence outside of The Method, which i would rather they not use every episode (but end up doing regardless).

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: sure, but only the second half

~~~~~~~~

episode three

so the previous episode left off with sam going into the basement late at night, almost looking possessed or something. and while i obviously didn't think that, i did want to know why he would go down there alone for some reason.

but that's for a later point in this review. let's get to the collab they did.

larray and bella…….. omg, i'll just be completely honest: i hated this collab. like genuinely, it takes a lot for me to find ppl insufferable, but larray took the cake this time. bella was fine, she seemed nice and did her best. and i love that me and @xplrvibes literally said "oh i bet they're gonna try to say bella is an empath bc she's a girl bc they do that all the time" and WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE IT 11 minutes in they asked if she was one. i'm just glad she said no lol but back to larray……. first off, that shirt was a choice. and i'll leave it at that. but secondly, i'm okay with ppl joking is scary situations. i'm okay with them having guests that hear them say something insane and then immediately go "yeah fuck no to that, i'm leaving" or some iteration of that joke. but, larray took it too far. i don't think he said anything else other than "i don't want to be here" ect. and i get he was scared, but GOD, SHUT UP. like i got it the first five times you said it, i don't need to hear it the next 24. it literally took for him to get a message from the beyond to get him to be quiet.

i'll be honest, i don't even want to review this half of the video bc it was SUCH a drag. i remember i wasn't even half way thru and i was like… oh you're joking, we're not done yet? bc that's how annoying that whole section was. it wasn't solely larray, but he definitely exacerbated the problem.

the ring of lights that ppl can cross over, idk about that. it feels like it's fake but whatever. bella having a separate phone just for content… i love that for her lol them going into the basement is cut short only for the fact that we KNOW sam went down there first and colby was none the wiser until like two days later. The Method being done for bella and larray was cool i guess. but then sam getting an extremely private message that he couldn't share, i get that. and i hope that whatever message he got was something he needed to hear (but the way he mouthed "oh no" makes me think otherwise). my only issue is why even use any of the footage from that then? i know it's a bit nitpicky, so i'm not gonna press on it too much.

to the fans on tiktok that were saying "omg what if the message was from corey la barrie"….. please seek professional help. this isn't a fanfic. stop thinking like it is. bc i saw MULTIPLE tiktoks saying that.

but continuing on with The Method, i'll be honest with you: i'm not sure what the afterlife is like or what it entails. but it is hard for me to just blindly accept that it's all good and light and love and whatever random other words satori and cody wanted to throw in there that abigail said. i know it's my cynical mind, but hearing shit like that just makes me roll my eyes. like i know that sounds dark and sad, but that whole thing just made me go like "okay… sure."

maybe it's bc it's too generic. like that's what every form of media has said about the other side for forever. if i was able to get my point across and reach a ton of ppl, i would be sending messages like "god is woman and she sucks at beer pong" or "ice cream is free up here but only on tuesdays" or "guess what? i'm hanging out with EVERYONE'S dogs" not just love and light. boooorrrrriiiinnngggg lol

but i will note something that i thought was interesting only bc i've always had a similar thought process: cody says he doesn't know why they're able to do what they do. he believes it might have had something to do with his cancer complications and dying once. and the reason why i can believe that is i've always had this belief - so, as someone who has attempted to end my own life twice, i've come very close to death. and i think ppl that knock on death's door, you can't just unknock. you can't ding dong ditch death. so i kinda feel like those that get very close to the other side cross a line that can't be uncrossed, so to speak. which i think is also why i had the most paranormal experiences when i was going through some dark times (or had just gone thru them).

what i find peculiar is how the narrative of the basement has changed. before it was dark and demented, something evil lurking around each corner, colby having a full blown panic attack down there. all that, right? but now it's "oh it's just a trickster spirit that likes to cause havoc and is for the most part harmless. and also really would rather you be in the woods." and yet even with that knowledge in mind, everyone was still too freaked out. like if they kept getting cryptic and weird messages i would just be like "find a different trick. you don't scare me" or eventually just leave the basement altogether if nothing was going to be happening besides "come to the woods" over and over again.

but bc snc never listen, they went to woods. and again… woods to me aren't scary for paranormal reasons. more so for bears or humans. but they did get some cool evidence at the graveyard.

i'm just gonna skip that whole thing and get to the part that i want, no - NEED, to talk about which is…. colby standing up for himself when sam told him about the basement.

i was genuinely confused as to why snc weren't mentioning sam going into the basement. like i figured, sam went down there, something happened, and then he told colby. or something to that effect. but to find out that a) he had no real plans of posting this into the vid and b) he waited like two days to finally tell colby it happened…. that's really fucked, ngl. the absolute hurt that was on colby's face is so evident, no wonder sam started backpedaling (but just made it all the more worse). like colby has made it abundantly clear time and time again that he doesn't like being left in the dark about where someone is going/doesn't like being left behind and sam did exactly that. not only that, but he then did something that both him and colby swore they would do together - go to the basement. everyone was waiting to see them go together and experience whatever's down there, but sam took that for himself - like colby said. and then sam tried to justify it with "oh nothing really happened, plus we don't have to show fans, plus i really needed to do it bc everything has been so crazy" and it's like………. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU???? it's colby. while colby might have had some form of belief system before all of this, this whole situation has been insane to him as well. so you don't get to use that as an excuse. and then to say that fans don't need to see this footage, that just feels wrong. bc at the end of the day, the person sam hurt was colby. and regardless of whether or not we would have known about it, colby still would have known. and that's the part that sucks. sam was extremely self-centered for making this decision and then thinking colby would just let it slide.

and i know some of you are gonna probably be up my ass about this opinion since god forbid i give criticism towards sam. but i would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed, especially if sam was upset about it. and god knows there wouldn't have been an argument about including those clips in a video, but i digress. i just think it was messed up of sam to do to that to colby. and i hope bts he apologized profusely.

but to be a bit more light hearted about it… colby looks really hot when he's angry or annoyed. so that's nice, i guess lol it's the clenched jaw and the narrowed eyes, in case you didn't know why you found it hot either. also, he was too calm, and that's hot AND scary lol

i think it's funny to think that if they didn't include sam going there by himself and then this confrontation, we would never know why in the next part colby seemed annoyed/angry and ppl probably would have just blamed the spirits or some shit.

which also did happen…

but to bring it back for a second, you know what the scariest part of this video was for me? the tick on colby's leg. GROSS. disgusting. i would have screamed so loud i'd wake the dead lmao

but anyway the estes methods they did in the basement were very revealing and honestly the best part of the episode imo. them realizing, or believing, that dave is actually the trickster spirit and not some soldier following them around was actually really cool to see unravel. and surprisingly this time around sam jumping to conclusion over and over again paid off well. and then when colby was asking the questions, it was interesting to see his reaction to what was being said. him being annoyed at sam before hand really elevated the estes method, funny enough.

maybe it's bc i don't know about trickster spirits and what they are meant to do or whatever, but if i know the spirit i'm talking to is fucking with me, i'm just not gonna talk to it anymore. i'm not gonna give it what it wants, which is to see me scared. and i think snc, without knowing it, were feeding into what dave wanted.

their equipment malfunctioning over and over again was crazy, ngl. but the actual scariest part of the whole vid was who the FUCK was that behind them in the basement coming up the steps??? fuck The Method, now THAT is proof of the other side existing, especially if snc were alone in that house at that point (which assumingly they were).

so this episode was a bit of rollercoaster for me. some parts were just plan bad to me. like i wouldn't even consider rewatching the first half again tbh. it was tedious to do it just to make this review, so that alone deducts this episode a bunch. but the second half, basically everything after The Method where larray and bella's loved ones talked to them, was pretty decent/better. and of course, once snc were alone, the video was at its best. i truly wish snc would just realize that they do so much better and get such better results without other ppl. just the two of them is enough. i truly wanted to like this episode, and i did to some extent, but no offense to larray, his over reactions just soured most of the video for me. he seems like a nice guy, and i didn't mind him the first time around when snc collabed with him, but god… just shut up next time lol

rating: 2.9/5

would i rewatch: only the tail end, tbh…. so no i guess lol

~~~~~~~~

episode four

i'll be honest with yall, i was mixed about how this final episode was gonna play out. part of me was excited to see it, another part of me was like… eh, don't care. but i will say, i was pleasantly surprised with this one. i guess in a weird way it was my favorite of all the episodes, but that's not saying much since none were really my favorite anyway.

niki and george were fantastic. honestly no notes. they didn't talk the entire fucking time, they weren't overly negative, they kept in line with snc's humor and or seriousness. i loved it truly. 10/10.

i completely forgot that kris called them to tell them about a dream she had. her and niki, and celina too… all having dreams about snc. what are they, fans??

i'm joking btw.

i think the dream element can be a bit questionable, but i do also think it's kinda creepy too. even if for argument's sake it's not real and/or is propped up to be something more serious than it is.

the foil house/tent thing they built was…. confusing. but i'm down for them to start using different methods, especially if they end up working or are interesting. they split up and neither really got anything that compelling, but when they played the picture game it was creepy that only colby's pics got fucked with a bit. it's always colby lol

but i gotta ask, didn't they break the first rule of the game which is nothing is supposed to cross over the circle in the middle? bc sam did that by putting the water cup down in it. also, i highly doubt that snc trashed that camera. highkey it's probably in their office rn.

the duel estes method, in theory, is a cool idea. but the execution wasn't really good enough. like sure, they got some answers, i guess. but half of the words were just random. and tying niki and colby together was kinda pointless. snc just love exploring their kinks on camera huh skskks jk

so, i think what was a bit confusing about sam freaking out (before) going into the basement is that did you really think colby wasn't gonna send you down there at some point? he has made a big stink about it since it happened to him. of course sam had to have known this was gonna happen. not to mention, sam's fucking challenge for colby would have literally caused him to get lost in the woods…. so i would say sam got the nicer of the two options.

as for what transpired in the basement, clearly sam was absolutely losing it. whether it was paranormal or not, he was scared out of his fucking mind. and i get it must have been creepy as hell down there. and god knows he lasted longer than i would have. but there is no reason he has to push himself that far to believe there is something more. like is it really worth being permanently scarred just to know if something is down there? not to mention, but whatever is down there, feeds off of havoc and scared energy. and you basically fell into its trap. like, i'm not blaming sam for freaking out. god knows i would be way worse in that situation. but i also wouldn't have been the dumbass who leaves my phone upstairs and has no extra back up light.

also colby is too forgiving bc i would been like "since you love the basement so much, here you go :)" lmaooo

(sidenote, why is colby walking around in only his socks???? ewwwww. do that in your own home, not the conjuring my guy. and another sidenote, does sam's face look swollen in the basement, or is that just the camera being hella zoomed in? idk why he just looks different)

colby giving a whole disclaimer or explanation about why he could leave sam in the basement…. i blame the fandom bc there is no reason for him to being doing all that. sam was literally gonna have him walk alone to the fucking graveyard. sam is fine in the basement. he can leave whenever he wants to. colby ain't a bad guy for giving him a challenge like that.

the walkie dying is so eerily spooky to the og alone conjuring video it's kinda crazy. but, maybe there is just bad reception lol

moving onto the final stretch of the video, the tarot reading. i know snc kinda showed more of the original reading on xplrclub, but if they truly think her first reading was super accurate, i really hope this reading is also just as accurate. snc deserve a lot more positive than negative these next couple months. so i hope that happens for them.

(might have to do a tarot reading on them myself just for funsies)

The Method's last messages… again, idk. imma just say this, to quote beetlejuice the musical "positivity is luxury that few can afford" and i'll just leave me beliefs at that.

i'll be completely honest with yall, idk what the priestess did with snc. the whole thing, the ouija board and exorcism/cleansing was intriguing, don't get me wrong, but idk what the fuck was happening. i kinda just watched it and accepted it at face value bc again, idk anything. it probably would have been for the best if snc explained it a bit better or did something to let us know what was up. i don't really believe everything that the priestess believes, but i do find her interesting enough that i hope she comes back eventually. god knows snc are gonna need another cleansing at some point.

colby going into the woods blindfolded…. is he trying to literally fall off of a bridge? what is with yall using blindfolds and ties? enough of the kinky shit, already.

but as for what happened out there, i think it was an interesting end to the final investigation. i could sort of hear something running up on colby, and i can only imagine how that would have felt in the moment. and who knows what it could have been? my bet is it was an animal, but i also feel like if it was one, it would have kept chasing him. but who knows. i'm just glad he didn't get hurt.

overall, i would say this was my favorite episode. i think it had a lot more high moments than lows, and that alone makes it the best. the collabs were good in this one, they got really cool evidence, and it was just a great way to wrap up this series.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: yeah :)

~~~~~~~~

now, onto my thoughts on this whole thing:

so going into this series, i wasn't too excited, as i had mentioned before. i felt as if snc should have taken this year off and came back during hell week if that was something they direly wanted to do. bc a lot of the content that came out this year was just… not good. it wasn't on par with what their calibar is. but i think this series was probably the best thing that came out this year by them. a lot of cool and interesting things happened in this series, and clearly snc's hearts were fully invested in this. there was passion in this series, and that's what a lot of their other videos this year have lacked, imo.

as for The Method and it changing the world….. i love snc, clearly. i deeply care for them. but they truly need to have someone in their camp that's gonna tell them reality. i mean, just as i'm writing this, there are tons of ppl on tiktok and youtube trying to disprove and nitpick apart the series and in particular The Method. but here's how i feel about that: satori and cody could be lying, that's true. they could be faking it somehow. but i don't think that's the takeaway from this series. i've seen how many ppl this brought closure to, how many ppl feel better now knowing there is something else after this life. and that in itself is worth it, even if it's not real. this series wasn't gonna change my mind bc i myself already believed in the paranormal and already believed that there is something more out there. i don't need two random ppl to prove to me i'm right. i already believe that on my own. and in that regard, i know that this series isn't for me. it's for those that needed to hear those words, that needed the confirmation. and for those ppl, i'm happy this gave you that. honest to god. just bc i didn't get that out of this doesn't mean i look down on those that did. if this helped you in any way, that's fantastic and i'm glad. i'm not here to argue whether or not The Method is a lie. idc tbh. snc believe it, and i believe them.

and if it comes out that satori and cody lied, fuck them. but until otherwise proven, i'll believe what they're selling. i'm just… not gonna buy any myself.

but even taking them out of the conjuring equation, snc caught some crazy shit there. of course, a lot of it was amplified by The Method, but i think what they did outside of that was more interesting and compelling than The Method. what i think will be more important is what they now do with the information they know. how are they gonna move forward now knowing what they know? what are they gonna impliment now that they didn't think to use before the conjuring? that's what matters to me.

idk if i got an ask that said this or not (i would have to double check but if i did - hi anon, here's your answer), but i know ppl are asking how snc are gonna top themselves this next year for hell week. personally, i don't think they have to. i think they should go back to what hell week looks like usually: a bunch of different places with different guests, but now more amplified. maybe, crazy concept, do more solo investigations. how about during next year's hell week you just… go alone to all seven places? maybe stop by the conjuring another time? you already proved (for the most part) that there is an afterlife and more beyond this life, why not go back thru your greatest hits with fresh eyes? that's what will make a difference in the content and take it to the next level without you literally contacting a demon or something.

i was pleasantly surprised by this series, and i'm more excited now to see what they do next than i was before, so… mission accomplish lol

[gold-rhine]

can you ramble about the watsonian explanation on the differences between the playable characters' outfits and the NPCs'? or if you'd rather a different topic, you could discuss the limitations of visions, specifically if 1 vision can mimic another "element" (like how waterbenders in ATLA can do both water and ice, etc). I mean if visions can produce things like holograms, sentient constructs, heal people, etc, what are some other crazy ways to use them? are there hard limits?

eeeh i don't think its interesting to come up with watsonian explanation for smth that you know is 100% explained by irl. like its not a worldbuilding choice npcs look more boring, its costs limitations. like, you can come up with stuff, but at this point you're not engaging with lore, you're writing fanfic. like idk, traveler is clearly non-human lifeform that took human shape, but actually doesn't have human sense organs and perceives the world through different means. they have ability to somehow capture\summon spirits\souls ppl of teyvat and have them fight when called for. so the ppl that traveler is able to "summon" in this way are the ones that traveler also obv has much better opportunity to perceive, learn details, see in high res if you will, while everyone else is generic looking

as for the second, i'm not sure whats even the question here tho i do love to talk about visions. visions are pieces of primordial elemental powers that are adapted to a specific human and that human's perception of self and of the world is what determines how these elemental powers manifest. like, oz is fischl's tulpa, its her own imagination that gives him sentience and personality, i think i already talked about how summons who have personalities are tied to lonely ppl, projecting imaginary friends that they wished they had. like, every manifestation of vision's powers is kinda like 3-d printed construct from the human's mind. they can take any shape and practically any effect, depending on what vision user thinks they need\want, heal, shield, damage, but they cannot change the element.

atla comparison is not correct here bc "ice" is not a separate element in atla, there is no "ice nation". it's just water in low temperatures. its not true in genshin, cryo is a completely separate element and you cannot get cryo from just lowering temperature of hydro. you can die of cold on dragonspine, but hydro attacks won't freeze enemies here, you still need to add cryo. so in atla, waterbending is not "mimicking" anything, its just manipulating same element in different forms. much closer example is bloodbending, like neuvi is able to turn water into blood as hydro sovereign.

[kewltie]

when i write something i tend to have a goal, or actually a specific moment or scene, i aim toward. for this specific scene in stepdad au i had this image of izuku surrounded by his sleeping children and talking about how he wants to protect his kids from becoming like their villainous sire so that they dont walk the same path as him. it was very clear in my head and i knew what i wanted but i have to build to get there.

i like nontraditional family unit as someone who grew up with both parents, divorced, and then raised by a single mother i have a lot of respect for the nontraditional family unit!! stepdad au is one of part of many of AUs that centered around that lol. i like that katsuki who literally been a bachelor most of his life suddenly stumbled his way into like a family and now he's juggling parenthood to these small tyrants and HE'S TRYING HIS BEST.

i think i talked about this before how im not a big fan of kidfics bc they dont really have much of personality and that they're more used as a tool to get the couple together rather their own char arc so for me it was really important that each of the numbers had a very distinct characteristics that you can pick them apart among the crowd. i wanted each kid bounce off e/o bc hey they're siblings should act like ones and have a storyline outside of bkdk's love story. so theres a lot of focus on the kids as much as bkdk's storyline bc izuku (and now katsuki also) world revolves around them. izuku put away his mate/husband to SAVE HIS KIDS!!

heroes comes in all shapes and sizes and not all heroes wear cape, ya know the quote but it's exactly what it is here. izuku's path didn't lead to ofa and becoming a hero but in his own way, even tho it seemingly small in the grand scheme of things, he put everything on the line to get his kids away from their villainous sire so they wont fall on the same dark path as him. he has no quirk and didnt have support from anyone for a long time but he planned this for many years just to finally put his husband away like idk that's fucking stone cold. izuku hid his true intentions and acted the part of the good spouse, the good omega, and kept producing kids and raising them for his mate but he was actually masterminding a plan to bring his husband down and escape with his kids like HE DID THAT!!! ON HIS OWN!!! how could ppl not admire that audacity, that fucking bravery????

even tho izuku did all that, he feels like it wasnt enough bc how long it took the plan to took shape like izuku didn't just come with this plan in a day and execute it within the same week or months. HE PLANNED THIS FOR YEARS AND YEARS and finally he got enough tools in his arsenal to pulled it off (evidences and waiting for his children to be old enough to carry it out). thats pretty badass but izuk doesnt see it that, its the duty of the parents to protect their kids and izuku think he's just doing what he must!!! but even then he wishes he didnt have to wait that long to carry them away from the abuse of their sires but for his plan to work he had to stay lowkey, underestimated, and the good spouse/omega so he had to watched his children suffered but he cant do much against it. it's a hard thing to watch and endure and izuku will always regret how he couldnt do much for them and i think even tho he managed to save his kids and put away his husband, it always live in him how he could HAVE DONE MORE (even tho unlikely). so when katsuki says something about thinking he's doing just fine in his eyes, it's someone ELSE not him that tell him hey, you're not such a terrible parent and izuku's guilt lessen just a lil.

izuku isnt the perfect parent but he's trying and katsuki definitely isnt made for parenting either but he's learning AND TOGETHER they're learning to be what the numbers need and this journey is what tied them together and fall in love even tho katsuki is like half way there already but god, izuku showing him that even with no quirks, izuku can do crazy shits for his children!!!!!!

[doughyinwonderland]

Trey Clover SSR Union Birthday Spoilers!!

This is just a summary of the personal story, the translations are out and pinned on my blog. 

Episode 1

Trey was lamenting who his presenter will be and hope it wont be someone that will too crazy. And Epel came knocking the door and greeted trey as his bd presenter. Trey is glad that the presenter is Epel. Epel gave him a present which is a black cap with patch and stitches. And lmao there's a bright red Epel patch and Trey  saying maybe it doesn’t suit him. Epel says "absolutely not, Trey san! You will look cool in it". Also Epel says that Trey has height so he would look good in the cap but Epel uses a regional dialect for the word height so Trey was like, maybe I hear it wrongly. Deuce was the one who told Epel that Trey likes hats. (GUYS DEUCE AND EPEL WENT OUT TGT TO BUY TREY’S BD PRESENT YELLS) Epel saw some hats with studs flame pattern hats but it was out of his budget. Trey was like well that was unexpected. Epel thinks that the cap will fit well with HL's union jacket accent colour. Trey says he'll wear the hat all day long. Epel says that he looks a little bad (like a bad boy) and looks cool. Trey is taken aback again. 

Episode 2

Question 1

- Who will you bring to a deserted island with you? You can pick anyone except ppl from the same dorm.

Answer

- Trey says he's been to summer camp with his family. He says he has 0 confidence in survival since he's always lived in Kingdom of rose. He would bring someone who has alot of experience and someone who he can work easily. He prefers someone is easy going and can laugh it off if they did something wrong. SO TREY PICKED ROOK. Trey says the reason is bc they are in the science club tgt and are vice dorm leaders, so they have alot in common. Epel says "But isn't rook a weird person/eccentric? You could have picked someone else...”  Trey was like oof, well he will do things out of expectation sometimes. Apparently Trey said that Rook just dumped in a bunch of leaves that are not usually edible into the pot when they were cooking using the produce they've grown. Epel very shooketh. According to Trey, Rook isn't someone who would trick nor use another person, he is someone who will not think of these things. Trey says that he can only do really normal things so he isn’t equipped enough to survive. (lmao trey clover and his normalcy again, ref from his lab PS)  Trey also says that Rook is capable of getting nutritious meat if they are stuck on a deserted island. Epel of course says that meat is important, with a smile. Epel is starting to think that maybe Rook is unexpectedly  reliable from Trey's explanations. Trey is glad to boost Rook's image, and said even tho he's eccentric sometimes, but he will be very reliable when the time calls for it. (I live for these bros)

Episode 3

Question 2 

- If you could join another dorm aside from Heartslabyul (HL), which dorm will it be? 

Answer

-  Trey never thought about this before. Epel almost said "Even though its such a weird- I mean strict dorm with alot of rules?" Trey says that well it's chosen by the mirror anyways. Even if he entered other dorms, there are hardships in the form of another (truth). Trey said if he were to choose, he would first eliminate Savanaclaw. Epel is shooketh again. He said isn't the wild image cool? He says that Trey has the height for the dorm uniform and he would look cool in it. Trey asked if Epel want to enter Savanaclaw and commends him for that. Trey says that Savanaclaw is a dorm which focus on ability/strength and says he's bad with situations that focuses on winning. [drum roll] So if Trey has to choose, he would join Octavinelle. Epel was taken aback and said that Vil mentioned that the octa dorm members are sly and they must be aware of them. He mentions that he heard from Ace and Deuce that Trey is a kind person who would look after others. Epel says that maybe octa dorm isnt suitable for Trey based on what Adeuce said. Trey laughs it off saying wow what are adeuce saying about him behind his back. He is thankful that Epel thinks highly of him but says that he isn't such a great guy like Epel think he is. Trey says that he picked Octavinelle due to convenience, with a smirk, and that it's because Octavinelle values individualism, and that as long as they are responsible for their appointed task, everything is fine. He feels that if he could use his skills and work on sweets in Mostro Lounge, he can easily secure a position in Octavinelle. Trey says that unlike HL that has alot of oddly detailed rules, octa dorm has a fixed menu he can work on. It’s also very tempting to join Octavinelle bc Trey can make sweets with seasonal fruits without worrying about the rules. Trey says even if the rules are nonsense (yes, he really said that), as long as there is peace bound by the rules, HL fits his personality better.  AND IT’S PIE TIME Epel: Here comes the "Good luck gift"!! 

Trey: Wow so energetic, please hold back a little.

Epel, smirk: Trey-san, can you please take of your glasses?

Trey: Hey... Are you telling me you're gonna send the pie with a strength that would wreck my frames? 

Trey: All right! Come at me!

Epel: Alright, here I go!! Happy birthday Trey-san!! After thoughts:  Trey’s 2021 Birthday personal story highlights Epel’s bluntness, Rook’s helpfulness as a friend and Trey’s slyness so perfectly!! Plus the extra mention of how Epel and Deuce went on an outing is such a nice touch which shows their friendship <3 Also lmao at Adeuce the cute kouhais who praises Trey behind his back /wheeze. 😂

[dastardlydandelion]

my thoughts on fear street 1666 now that i finished scrubbing all the toilets, got to go home and watch it

holy shit. that movie. wow. 

it wasn’t as fun as the other two. didn’t employ the same campy tropes. didn’t present itself in a flourish of period typical style. while i enjoyed the first two films paying homage to classic horror tropes and making the most of the stylish side of their respective environments, i am v grateful and relieved that 1666 *wasn’t* as fun as the other two and actually presented the horror of puritan fanaticism and witch accusations more srsly. imo it portrayed that grave, twisting dread that the subject matter calls for. i appreciate that bc i think i would’ve been uncomfortable if they attempted to do smth more campy with the time period given what we already knew abt the circumstances of sarah’s death even before the film. 

more of me blathering on and on abt fear street 1666 under the cut: 

the twist actually worked on me this time. they actually got me on this one, u guys. i rly watched this franchise believing sarah fier was possessing ppl and wreaking her vengeance on the town, but this whole time it was the fuckin’ goodes. nick, i never liked u, i think ur more interesting than i did before before when u were a generic as generic gets asshole, so now ur somewhat more interesting but even bigger of an asshole than i gave u credit for. ur literally the worst asshole of assholes, ur a walking infected hemorrhoidal rectum of a human being. 

don’t get me wrong, i always thought sarah was going to be portrayed sympathetically. i never doubted that. my theory was that sarah was going to be a sympathetic villain. i thought 1666 would’ve revealed why she cursed shadyside. i figured she would’ve cursed her townsfolk for turning their backs on her, maybe, or hurting/killing hannah, or using her for her witchcraft and then getting angry if it backfired on them, or smth like that. i thought we were going to watch a story abt sarah’s descent into darkness and while she’d defo be a tragic villain, she rly would be the person behind the possessions...but it wasn’t even her. she and hannah were just vulnerable to the town’s suspicion and persecution bc they were queer women who didn’t behave the way society wanted them to behave. and they were blamed for evil actually wrought by heterosexual men in power, and when sarah realized there was no way out of it, she took the blame upon herself so hannah was spared and she cursed only the goode family?? 

THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER. FUCK. THAT IS SUCH A BETTER STORY. kudos to this trilogy for being more intelligent than it ever had to be, when it could’ve just skated on the notoriety of the fear street series, the style, and billing notable cast members. 

so yeh, i defo 100% appreciated the goode men from wealthy sunnyvale being revealed as the true villains. i actually got my wish of nick getting killed in the face. i love that sarah possessed deena to do it herself!!! and deena!! oh man, i love deena so much. she was wearing a homebrew vest to protect herself made of fear street novels + duct tape, u gotta love it. ig she wanted to prepare herself since sam stabbed her at the end of 1994. on that note, she’s v active in this film for someone who has a fresh abdominal stab wound and i mean, the situation defo calls for it, but i hope she remembered to properly dress it and take a couple ibuprofen or smth. shit, i’m gettin distracted again. okay!! 

i loved errything that went down in the mall. i adore that josh and adult ziggy got more time to shine. i was so! so! happy at martin’s inclusion on the action. he deserved that after the way nick treated him in 1994. our occupations are also p similar so i defo relate to martin on that front. i loved it all the neon and blacklight stuff at the mall. that part was v stylish, that was p cool. spraying the killers with the blood so they kill each other!! yes! that was perfect!! it was incredibly practical and enjoyable for me, as a gore fan, to watch. 

i liked the sticky note on the wall at the end from deena and josh’s dad, that he had a job interview. i wonder if this is bc the curse of shadyside has been lifted with the end of the goodes?? 

yk, i feel like now knowing what we know abt the actual evil, i gotta wonder how much re-watch value there is to be gleaned from this trilogy. for example, in 1978, nick liked ziggy and didn’t want her to die. he performed cpr on her even tho she’d been stabbed a fuck ton of times and tbvh, the chances of success of resuscitation depending on what exactly it is was ziggy succumbed to seem v slim. at first i attributed this to a suspension of disbelief bc this is fiction (and to be fair crazy do happen sometimes irl, ykw, sometimes reality can surprise u) BUT now i’m sittin here like...was the cpr successful bc nick’s deal with the devil gave him the power to do that?? did his bargaining of others’ souls and offering them up for possession grant him the ability to have some control in that situation somehow? at least more than a normal human being should?? idk. it’s a thought. 

what else, what else? 

i feel like outta the three, 1666 had the most tension overall. i was p gosh darn emo abt the relationships. deena and sam’s relationship i’ve cared abt since the beginning but the contrast of them getting the opportunity to have it and be together, in parallel to the way sarah and hannah’s ended just moves u. or, it moved me at least. sarah tells hannah they’ll go somewhere and kiss in broad daylight before kissing her in almost total darkness, and then the film ends on deena and sam kissing in the sun. i was also glad deena and josh’s sibling relationship got touched on a lil bit more. thought it was cute that she tried to cook for him and produced smth that just dead ass looks inedible. i also thought it was sweet that ziggy reunited with nurse lane. she can do that now, she can leave her house without fearing the return of the curse, and she deserves it. <3

i’m impressed with the trilogy overall. each movie easily could’ve been an r-rated goosebumps episode and imo all were certainly better than that. i feel like each film was better than the previous, but personally enjoyed each one. some things were p predictable but i think much of that is intentional. 1994 and 1978 were clearly paying homage to classic slashers and familiar horror tropes. i personally didn’t find the predictability off-putting bc i recognized what they were trying to do, and felt the quality in the other elements made up for it. i was genuinely shocked by the actual villain reveal, i personally didn’t predict that. again, i always thought sarah was going to be sympathetic and i never liked nick at all, but i didn’t suspect sarah was just. dead ass *not* going to be a villain or that he was going to be the big bad. 

really dug the style of these films. loved that we got an interracial lesbian couple who made it thru the trilogy without either the predatory lesbian trope or the byg trope happening. i liked most of the characters we got to know and the only character who *rly* grated on my nerves was the villain who got stabbed in the eye. 

gosh, i want more fear street movies!! if i had to pick one outta any of the slashers featured, i’d want to see ruby lane’s story. i would like to see this production team milking the most outta the environment in the 50s, the style of the 50s, music, and whatnot. i enjoyed nurse lane even tho she was super bad at murder, so it’d be cool to see her again and who she was before her daughter got possessed and killed 7 ppl. also, ruby sings when she kills?? 

that’s weird and creepy and neat. totally down for it. 

[taylorswiftdiscographyrate]

#160-151

160. Girl At Home (4.416)

Highest score was 7.6; Lowest score was 1

I consider this not being in the bottom five a win! Remember when we all theorised that this song was about Zac Efron? What a fun theory. It’s also fun to contrast this song with later songs such as illicit affairs and ivy. To be both anti-cheating and pro-cheating all within the same discography... the range she has!

Highlighted comments:

@leadinmeon​: “i like this one. not sure why ppl stan it so much”

@corneliaavenue​: “I'm saving my 0, but girrrlllll you were so close to getting it”

159. Bad Blood (4.497)

Highest score was 7.6; Lowest score was 0 (@na-smetisti)

A song about the Katy Perry feud that honestly feels like decades ago at this point. Looking back, what strikes me about this song is how... vague and generic the lyrics are. I mean, I unashamedly bop, but if Taylor hadn’t all but named Katy as the subject, I’m pretty sure no one would have ever known. We rated the album version here, but I think the Kendrick version probably would score a little bit higher, mostly because the verses are marginally more interesting.

Highlighted comments:

@everfolk​: “the kendrick version slaps tho”

@tobesolonely​: “this song hits at a solid ten when you're mad though”

@leadinmeon​: “look it's poppin but it's also boring”

158. Change (4.778)

Highest score was 7.5; Lowest score was 1

Honestly, I think this is one of the songs that will benefit best from a rerecording. Because as much as I love Taylor, this is... not the best showcase of her vocals. Imagine if she included that 15 second long high note that I used to see all over my timeline on swiftie twt back in 2013. Now that would be a moment.

Highlighted comments:

@corneliaavenue​: “her worst album closer”

157. Two Is Better Than One (4.797)

Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 1

This is a collab with Boys Like Girls, a band I know absolutely nothing about. I've only listened to this once, when I was doing my own ranking, and I could not tell you how it goes, but I think it bopped at least a little bit? If any OG Swifties have an insight on this collab, particularly how and why it happened, I would find that very interesting!

Highlighted comments:

@tobesolonely​: “i asked taylor to perform this on the rep tour and she looked at me like i was crazy” (she should’ve listened to you smh)

@itspeterlosingwendy​: “boys like girls was such a big part of middle school, this duet hit hard then”

@yourivysgrows: “I had war flashbacks remembering this existed”

156. Invisible (4.825)

Highest score was 9; Lowest score was 1

I have literally nothing interesting to say about this. It’s not awful, but I think it’s a concept that Taylor has done better numerous other times. I think I enjoyed it when I was like 12 years old and had a minor crush on a guy in my class I had never spoken to? I would rather not think about my 12 year old self, so let’s just leave it at that.

Highlighted comments:

@leadinmeon​: “this song is so terrible i have no idea why people like it”

@yourivysgrows: “7 year old me BOPPED to this”

155. Today Was A Fairytale (4.909)

Highest score was 8; Lowest score was 0 (@everfolk)

Am I a fake Swiftie if I've never watched Valentine's Day? I've watched a compilation of Taylor's scenes on YouTube, and that was more than enough for me. This song was probably the best thing to come out of that movie for me, and even then I hardly ever listen to it. It’s sweet, though.

Highlighted comments:

@everfolk​: “I cannot for the life of me listen to this song in full”

@onceintwentylifetimes​: “It's cute but she's done it all before and better”

@yourivysgrows: “That movie javajajaj”

154. I Forgot That You Existed (5.000)

Highest score was 7.5; Lowest score was 2

The way that the final score for this song is a perfectly average 5... almost poetic in a sense. It isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference indeed. I think this song being an album opener makes me dislike it more than I otherwise would, it’s just so underwhelming in that role. Also, someone (either a sessioner or someone pretending to be a sessioner) hyped it up as being a “pop State of Grace” and I’m still bitter about that.

Highlighted comments:

@liabilitys​: “the closest she gets to acknowledging calcium hydroxide and i love that for her”

@corneliaavenue​: “I forget this song exists”

153. A Place in This World (5.059)

Highest score was 7.5; Lowest score was 2

This really hit hard for my teenage self, but it’s been a while since I really felt like it connected. It’s a nice song, and a nice sentiment, but the lyricism is ultimately a bit simplistic and the song doesn’t really have as much depth as we’ve come to expect from Taylor’s best work.

Highlighted comments:

@yourivysgrows: “Was actually a favorite as a kid but I've outgrown it”

152. Both of Us (5.066)

Highest score was 9; Lowest score was 1

I know we just talked about Two Is Better Than One and the fact that I know literally nothing about Boys Like Girls, but for me this is the most enigmatic Taylor collab. How and why did it happen? What commonalities drove BoB and Taylor to work together? Did they discuss the Flat Earth theory? So many questions, so few answers. Also while I actually think this is a very lovely song, it's produced by Dr Luke and BoB is an antisemetic conspiracy nut so we have no choice but to not stan!

Highlighted comments:

@onceintwentylifetimes​: “Taylor's chorus is nice and the rest of this song is fine but I never really want to listen to it”

@yourivysgrows: “Not bad, not my favorite”

151. End Game (ft. Ed Sheeran & Future) (5.078)

Highest score was 8; Lowest score was 1

As an End Game apologist, I’m disappointed... but not surprised. This was actually my least favourite song on reputation when it first released, but over time it snuck up on me and I can appreciate it for the bop that it is! Can we at least agree that Taylor’s verse slaps? I mean, it has the ever so brilliant “I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put ‘em” and I wholeheartedly believe that “I can’t let you go / Your handprints on my soul / It’s like your eyes are liquor / It’s like your body is gold” is one of her greatest lyrics ever.

Highlighted comments:

@treacherousdemo​: “will end game not being in the bottom three be upsetting to some? perhaps”

@corneliaavenue: “this song is good, you guys just hate ed sheeran” (and that’s the tea!)

@tobesolonely: “ed sheeran rapping :/” 

[satchaccuss]

My A.B.O-verse wish.

Not sure if a.b.o-verse is a specific thing or if it is any a.b.o universe containing these roles/classes.

Warning: This might gross some ppl out, it is about a.n.a.l kind of after all.

I want (fan)fiction written where all roles can self lubricate so an*l isn’t such a major hassle when you want a switch-couple. It isn’t that hard to make happen either ffs ppl! 

Just write that because how the roles have genetically developed alfas have fewer lubrication glands in their colon and vagina, and that is just how it is, they will need some prep and lube no matter what, but at least it isn’t dry as a desert if they are sufficiently aroused and excited to have a d*ck up their a*s.

Now this idea all started with me saddened that my bias isn’t really an alfa or an omega, they are more of a middle thing, so a beta and in such: I was feeling it is unfair for betas that they can’t self lubricate like omegas can, and the idea and scenario that developed in my head after that was that: it would realistically actually be more probable that betas also would be capable of self lubrication if there is an alfa present and no omegas. Now mpreg makes me uncomfortable because.... just no thank you. But lets say when early man roamed the earth in this universe it was a thing, then it would make sense that if there were no omegas around the betas would have the kids and such be capable of self lubricating. Tho the mpreg stuff disappeared through the ages and the development of medicine and genetic research and or urbanization or something so it isn’t a thing in the universe anymore. Anyway: I say betas should at the best of times with no omega around and an alfa they want be able to produce equally as much lubrication as any omega, maybe even as much (in rare circumstances of extreme arousal) as an omega in the midst of their heat. All in all: despite the lesser amounts of glands a beta has than an omega the difference in lubrication capability should be mostly negligible.

Tho I do understand that just having the cake and eating it too isn’t very fun or dramatic, hence why I added the realistic rule of: no omegas present. If the couple intends to f*ck against the wall in the middle of a dorm full of all kinds of ppl including omegas the lubrication will be lackluster (but maybe true love, mates, or extreme f*cking arousal can be exceptions to the rule, after all who doesn’t love cake? Unless you do of course but you know what I mean lol) and prepping and physical lube might/will be needed.

Please don’t make omegas trash or lower class citizens and please don’t make alfas c*nts.

I see the roles as more of: Alfas either take charge most or all of the time and/or lead and support the pack and the “weak”. OR my favorite honestly: they are just alfas. Strong “underneath” (Idunno, magic hidden superior muscle tissue?) and ferocious when pressed but chill and laid back and nice and calm and easy going. Sure, he’ll/she’ll help you with your heat no problem, but they wont force you into anything or come at you when they have their rut (if that exists in your universe, I think if the betas work as I want them too tho then maybe you can make some hot stuff happen). (yes ok, I like some power play some times: the alfa being so manly and sexy and amazing smelling that the beta’s or omega’s knees go weak and they f*ck against the nearest surface if they are both actually legitimately willing and wanting of course, no r*pe here please or lack of physical consent: if they kiss back and rub and don’t say no, then go for it you know?). Anyway, the alfas are silent powerful guardians that linger in the back of the pack, ready at any moment despite how calm or uninterested they might look, to back up the actual leader should trouble arise or ready to protect the whole pack or any member of it should the leader fail to take charge or not be present at the moment. Maybe they get ruts, maybe they don’t: it is your story!

Betas take the middle ground: They will lead and take charge if no one else will or they will nurture and care for their pack/ppl if no one else will, they will do what needs to be done especially if there is a role that needs to be filled and it doesn't have anyone to fill it.

Omegas take care of the pack, in any way that fits their personality I guess. Like, the class clown: making merry for everyone's amusement or the “mom”: cooking and cleaning maybe. I think that is a good way of putting it, but: the omegas aren’t necessarily that different from betas in my ideal world: they might’ve been in prehistoric times, but modern society has put an end to the need for such diversity between the roles. Maybe make the knotting-thing an non-necessity too and just have the act of climaxing repeatedly be the end all be all over I don’t know how many days a heat go on for but yeah that. Otherwise having a beta top during a heat is pointless so to speak and if your bias is a beta and you’d like em to top an omega during their heat it wouldn’t be very... productive?

The biggest difference in my universe is simply their smells, it seams. lol

So for the heats/ruts. I think you can work with these existing, and have some nice steamy results. But I want more control. No omega just so blindly in need of a knot or climax that they will take any and all, because that isn’t very romantic, not that all stories have to be romantic but I like the idea of mates, predestined or otherwise, so yeah. And no super crazy effect on the surroundings either please, of course they can smell it, but it isn’t a usual occurrence for any old alfa to approach an omega about to enter into or already in heat and proposition them, it might happen if you are conventionally attractive perhaps, but not usually. This is modern society after all, and civility is the norm. Equally I don’t want no alfa so crazy with need they’ll force themselves on someone either. They might insist quite heavily for sure, but no means no! Antagonists in stories are allowed to break that rule to an extent but no one (should) wants to read about r*pe.

Why the heat/ruts if mpreg is out of the question and modern society has put almost an end to the big diversity between the the non-alfa types? Because it enables lustful hot sex with animalistic instincts as semi-drive? All in all tho: because well-written hot sex is the best and if it comes from uncontrollable forces it can add a nice hot spinn on an otherwise dry (eventual) love story.

I think a rare but nice story element I would like to see is the omega feeling the heat and seducing a chill willing alfa. They do both want it of course, but the alfa isn’t going to just take it from you unless you make that exceptionally clear.

...My thought for this was an excited omega Jangjun wanting his hyung (Idunno why, I just ship them, ok) to f*ck him (or maybe a more graceful way of putting it would be he wants him to help him through his heat) by gently but insistingly “coercing” a semi-sleepy Daeyeol to f*ck him by smelling really good, (I mean c’mon, he is an omega in heat and yeol is a single alfa lol) and licking and nipping at erogenous zones to get the other aroused (in more ways than one hah. Now I ain’t saying he is deep asleep of course, he is just resting in bed for a bit or maybe he is about to go to sleep, either way works. Please someone write this!).

I assume a rut would work the same, the alfa will endure until the love interest offers to help or an assertive alfa might make his interest known to the love interest through asking for help or something. Yeah I ran out of steam, Idunno what to say here. Sorry.

Anyway:

Please make the lubrication idea the norm when it comes to the A.B.O-verse. Not everyone is an alfa or even an omega, some ppl are betas and they deserve some hot spontaneous self lubricated sex too.

[osamuniichann]

Map of the Soul: 7

After a ~315 day drought without new music and a comeback from the legends, we are finally back with MOTS: 7! It been a hot minute since ive done a album review (solely for myself LMAO) so lets get back into it bc this album is a home run

Interlude: Shadow. Here we have the extended version of the interlude. can i just say that the lyrics to this masterpiece are so real and true. its not suga speaking nor is it agust d, this is min yoongi speaking of his internal conflict with the celebrity life, which is heartbreaking. on another note, the visuals of the mv are stunning and the ending--dont u just wanna go apeshit??? truly a great addition to the album!

Black Swan. sister black swan has been with us for a month-ish now? it still bumps. HARD. i blasted this to and from my drive to work to the point where i was scared if id get sick of the song but that didnt happen. the way how its hard to pinpoint when and where a member would sing/rap because they INTENTIONALLY wanted the voices to blend as if they were one body. this is the group’s narrative on how no matter how passionate one is on a certain craft, when they lose that drive, its like a death. and it is up to themselves to spark that love and interest once again. a very relatable story across various media, talents, skills, etc.

Filter. When I first heard that this was a jimin solo showcasing the many sides of Jimin, i thought that it was going to be a sad ballad to kind of follow the theme mots: 7 seemed to give off; thought that it would talk about how he has to force personas onto himself to appeal to the masses, but it is the complete opposite. Jimin is all the faces he puts on, he can be cute, sweet, and caring Jimin but he is also a sexy, flirty young man that can attract any living being. how he switches from falsettos to a lower register voice is beyond me, what a versatile one he is! <3

My Time. Moving onto jungkook’s solo, I knew the lyrics were going to be sad especially when it seems to compare himself to others his age. How he speaks about how fast time runs for him, how his childhood and current life is not of the average 22 year old (LIKE UM HERE I AM, SAME AGE AS JUNGKOOK AND IM NORMAL AF while he’s out here breaking records?? WOW). but the life of jungoo can be a bit overwhelming, completely understandable. I just want our boi JK to know that he can be himself and live freely despite such different circumstances. On another note, the groove of this track is so GOOD. it reminds me of Ari and ugh i LIVE for this jam

Louder Than Bombs. When the track started, I could totally tell Troye Sivan helped produce it, it has such a unique sound that only Troye would use. It sounds like this song would totally be on a movie soundtrack IDK WHY. like, i can picture it during an apocalypse movie sldkjg im not completely sure what the meaning is to the song (bc im big stupid) but i feel like its a track saying that no matter the struggles, they will continue to sing confidently, strongly, and wholly to us endlessly. beautiful, just beautiful.

ON. Moving on to the title track of MOTS: 7! I’m very picky about strong anthem-type songs but ON is actually p addicting HAHA There’s a background sound that repeats in the back that sounds like Sans from Undertale, aint that wild LMAO but anyways, the Manifesto Film was crazy good. The drums, the band, the breakdown of it all? UNBELIEVABLE. Also, JK’s vocals during the bridge? H O W. That breakdown tho...oof, that was amazing. They still dance with the thirst that rookie bts would and i think thats why ppl are so drawn to them no matter how many years pass. Fun fact: the choreographer of ON as well as Dionysus actually is from my city in Hawaii and we went to the same high school THATS WILD. the talent she holds!

UGH! Rap line ATE this shit, are we KIDDING. An ode to all the hate comments that we receive, u can see how fed up they are. They made POINTS and we all agree, its the damn law. The way how they opened up with a gunshot, we knew it was coming. Everyone joked about how we bout to hear some gunshots on this album, well they threw ALL of it on this track. Can i just say that Hobi’s verse tho? it hits different, it really do. When they went “ahem, ahem. ahem, ahem-ahem, YOUR AHEM. AHEM-AHEM--” OOOOOUGH i felt that shit!! god, imagine this in concert...the building aint ready!

0:00 (Zero O’ clock). Now we have the vocal line track, we knew they were bout to present some vocals. Great sound, slow and reflecting. Not the first track I’d listen to but it is a great listen. The lyrics tho get to me. The way how they comfort us and say that life can be rough but you can be happy. no matter what happens, with the turning of the clock to 0:00, its a brand new day and we can make the day better. what a powerful message that all of us need to hear once in a while. we will be happy guys, we deserve to be.

Inner Child. Tae’s solo which is a message to his young self. I expected a slow ballad filled with his warm vocals reminiscent of Winter Bear, 4 o’ clock, and Scenery but boi was I wrong. He has this sunset glow voice that wraps u so warmly and the sound is just so happy, pure, and innocent. Its a hopeful message to his younger self on how we will change and be the amazing person we want to or will be. I was sobbing at this song, I tell u. It was 2:00 am in the morning and I was sobbing into my pillow. Imagine comforting your past self that everything will be okay and to take ur hand, it will be all worth it in the end. When he sang “ur my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy!” Ugh...the tears!

Friends. When I heard this was a vmin duet expressing their friendship with each other, I knew it was going to be so emotional! I didn’t expect such a fun, poppy sound tho. They truly are soulmates, the love they have for each other is so wholesome and real, it truly exhibits the love I have for my friends--they’ve been with me through thick and thin, during happy and sad times; the amounts of serotonin they give me is just HHHH. The way how Tae and Jimin have been friends since high school until now is just ugh...we love it. Towards the end when they started singing “you are my soulmate!” towards each other, i started sobbing so hard because WOW. the shivers i felt, this song made me so happy and full! 

Moon. Next we have Jin’s solo which is an ode to us army’s. And on another perspective, this is a song from the moon (jin) to the Earth (army)--i have tears in my eyes. The lyrics especially got me in a chokehold and made me sob, the way how he says that he will always be by our side no matter what, the same way how we are there for him...god. The chorus really gets to me, it feels so happy and thankful and I just want to tell Jin that I will forever follow him and the boys. They’ve been with me for years now and I will continue to support, love, and listen to them. Ily to the moon and back, our moon.

Respect. I didn’t expect a Namgi duet but HERE WE ARE. Goddd when i heard that i was SO EXCITE. They’ve known each other for +10 years now and they never miss the chance to tell everyone that they’ve been friends for that long. Not @ how they disliked each other at first but grew to be so mf close, to the point where their family. Ughhh, im so uwu rn. Im so happy, so so happy that Nams started it with AYO SUGA; i SCREAMED. Also, i heard that they recorded it in one take and i could see how much fun they had--especially considering that their rap styles are completely different. Even tho in the song they joke about not knowing what the word Respect means, we know...we just KNOW the high amounts of respect they have for each other. As they mentioned before, Yoon’s respects towards Nams’ leadership and care towards everyone and Nams’ respect towards Yoon’s love and passion for music and producing. Peak comedy is Yoongs overloading on autotune during his parts to the point where its intentional. Bless Namgi.

We are Bulletproof: The Eternal. I felt like a CLOWN when this track started. Like everyone, i thought we were going to have a third installment similar to that of the strong, hip-hop, gunshot-filled part 1 and 2 of we are bulletproof, but we were met with soft vocals and rap. The lyrics tho get to me. This truly was a song about their entire journey and i felt like I experienced all years with them. They’ve been through so much and the way how they sang “we are we are together/forever bulletproof!” They are proud of where they came from and it has stuck with them till now. They are such real people...i cry. ALSO the “We were only seven, but we have you all now.” Whenever i see pictures of their debut fanmeets/concerts vs now its just crazy. imagine singing as an entire being during concerts when they start “OOOOH OH OHH” im so immensely proud of the feats they’ve reached and im excited on what they do next! <3

Outro: Ego. The way how he started it with the fitness gram pacer test just like in previous albums, ugh what a throwback! this song is such a Hobi track, its fun, dance-inducing and its just so FEEL GOOD. the way how he switches flows and is capable of doing so is *chef’s kiss* the way how he speaks about the path he takes is difficult but he doesnt regret it...SOBS also the mv??? UGH SO CUTE. the flashbacks too;; i cry

ON (feat. Sia). With this track, there’s not much extra I can say, all my opinions still stand with the original track wit ot7. I jokingly told my friend that if Sia is gonna be on the track “hey nanana’ing” the same why Halsey was only “oh my my my’ing” i will ctfu. and...welp, that was what happened. I do love Sia tho so props to her!

Overall: I initially thought that MOTS: 7 was going to be a dark, ballad-filled album but it was anything but. It had so much fun songs, the lyrics are again, so deep and meaningful--it pulls at your heartstrings. It felt so raw, personal, emotional, and i love it in all its being. The boys will continue to amaze me no matter what they put out and i forever and endlessly will support and love them the same way they do for us. MOTS: 7 is a masterpiece and im in love

[urfavmurtad]

What are some things about Judaism and Christianity that you learned that surprised you? What about polytheistic religions like native american animism, Buddhism, Shinto and Jainism? Zoroastrians? Baha’i? Yazidi?

Anon this is… such an in-depth question! Idek where to begin here. Of all those religions, I have learned the most about Judaism since I stopped being religious. What I knew about Judaism prior to maybe 5 years ago was mostly just what Islam says about Judaism. Meaning, you know, from Adam to Moses, then it skips ahead to David/Solomon/Saul, then there are some brief mentions of Jonah and Ezekiel and that’s really it.

So I didn’t know a lot, and I wasn’t very interested in what I did know tbh. The only reason why I started reading the Bible is bc I wanted to compare it to the Quranic versions of the stories and see how much Mohammed fucked them up. And that was fun but I didn’t bother to look much further into Judaism past that. The Books of Kings and Chronicles, for example, I took one look at them, decided they were boring, and didn’t read them until only a couple of years ago. That’s when I first got into the whole Biblical history thing. I tried reading a book about how the Bible was put together and realized I didn’t know enough about the Bible itself to even begin.

I forced myself to read those four books and then some of the prophet books (side note: all of the female prophets were left out of Islam, I didn’t even know they existed. Damn it Mohammed!!!). And I’m glad I did, because it changed my whole view of the Jewish Bible. It’s a history book!! Like… that’s literally what it’s supposed to be, a (legendary) history of Israel/Judah, and every bad thing that happens to them is ascribed to YHWH getting pissed off at them, but then like my friend and her trash boyfriend he always forgives them and takes them back even tho they just go on to disappoint him again. The Bible is the world’s oldest and greatest self-drag!!!

Once I actually knew the general chronology of the Biblical kings and shit I could actually make my way through this book without getting confused (mostly). Highly recommend this one for beginners btw, there is a PDF online and it’s not overly long.

And damn… I know there’s some debate about certain elements of it like the exact nature of the “documentary hypothesis” but even just focusing on the stuff that people agree upon, I didn’t know any of it before reading this, beyond there being no evidence for the Exodus/the huge kingdom of Solomon etc. I also knew that early Judaism was a system where multiple gods existed but YHWH was just their patron god, but I didn’t fully understand the process in how he got conflated with El and became the god.

More relevant to this topic, though, I didn’t understand the history behind the Bible itself. Deuteronomy being written separately/earlier than the rest and the Bible claiming that it was “found” in the Temple after like 900 years in Josiah’s time… like I had never even heard of Josiah prior to a few years ago and here I am realizing that this bitch perpetrated fraud that would make Linda Taylor proud. Tf. AND, the whole thing with Judah being way, way less developed than Israel, and Israel was actually a multi-ethnic and prosperous society, but then after the Assyrians handed Israel its ass the Judeans were suddenly the top bitch in school and wrote the whole Bible to make their former northern neighbors out to be assholes?? Wow Team Israel tbh.

Then when you get to the time of the Babylonian Exile tho you have to feel a bit bad for the people of Jerusalem, like the Babylonians were uncommonly dickish even for their time and the ppl of the city were clearly traumatized tbh… a lot of the stories in the Bible, especially those believed to have been added only after the exile, make a hell of a lot more sense when you realize the huge changes occurring in Jewish society at the time. The transition from “there are lots of gods but YHWH is our god” to “YHWH is the god” is completely understandable when you realize that people were searching for some explanation as to why they had all been uprooted and thrown out of their homes, and the obvious explanation is that, yet again, they had pissed YHWH the fuck off by worshiping other gods.

I feel like both Christianity and Islam (but especially Islam) try to separate many of Judaism’s better-known stories from the context of ancient Israel/Judah itself, presenting them as more universal stories that apply to everyone, but tbh the whole over-arching story doesn’t work unless you look at it as a history written by and for Jews who were rebuilding their religion and society in a volatile period. I’m reading this rn and it’s relevant to that topic.

It’s truly a damn shame that pretty much like 0% of Muslims have been exposed to any of this tbh? I feel like almost all scholars of Biblical history come from non-Muslim countries. I have more feelings on this subject but let me answer the rest of your question. First of all, Christianity. I read the New Testament in full a couple of years ago as well. It was obviously way easier to read because the Gospels are all different versions of the same story and the rest is just supplementary material, basically. I think the text itself is pleasant and Jesus was a chill dude. I like him. And the whole… sequence of events made much more sense after I’d read the Book of Isaiah and realized that the authors of the Gospels were viewing Jesus in light of those prophecies. Revelation is a fascinating shrooms trip. The Acts of the Apostles were fun to read, but all the letters were just like w/e. More historically interesting (if they’re real) than interesting in terms of content. Though I do think some of the content in them is very nice, idk if people know this but Muslims think Paul was responsible for perverting the (non-existent) “real” Gospel of Jesus and paint him very poorly. But I dunno, the letters seemed fine to me.

Tbh I was surprised to see how different Islam’s version of Christianity/Christian stories is compared to the “real thing”. I don’t even mean his disastrous misconceptions of Christian theology but just like… with the stories Mohammed pulled from the Jewish Bible (and the Talmud–which I also enjoyed flipping through btw, it’s like a bunch of old guys yelling at each other in written form), he gets details wrong but the overall stories are basically the same. But with the Christian stories, barely anything in the Quran is from the Bible. I think I’ve said this before but like 90% of the stuff pulled from Christianity in Islam is about baby Jesus, not adult Jesus, and even that stuff isn’t from the Bible. It’s understandable when you realize that he was listening to these stories, not reading them, and just picked the ones he liked best… which happened to be later texts. That brings me to a subject that is near and dear to my heart:

Apocryphal texts bih. I love this shit, with full sincerity and zero irony. The weirder it gets, the better. I started out just reading the ones that made it into the Quran, like the Life of Adam and Eve, the Infancy Gospels that I’ve mentioned before, and the Testament of Solomon. Then some Gnostic stuff, which I only read because it has the same substitute-crucifixion thing going on as Islam, but WHEW chile the DRUGS these ppl were on while writing this shit…! The Sethians and the Nag Hammadi library produced such treasures of crazy-ass literature. It makes me sad how so much of this stuff is just totally forgotten now that Christianity is mostly just Catholic/Protestant+Orthodox. There were so many sects and people had so many divergent ideas, some more drug-assisted than others probably!! And Middle Eastern Christianity was very diverse even in the 7th century. Some of the stories they produced had such rich lore. My fave right now is this Syriac collection:

I came across this one while looking for the origins of the al-Khidr story in the Quran. There were all sorts of opinions about who he was, bc Mohammed never really gave any details on his life, but Ibn Ishaq recorded an opinion that al-Khidr was the one who buried Adam and Allah granted him long life in return. So I looked for the source of that story and it was the story of Melchizedek in this book. Then I read the whole thing and man this would make for some weird psychedelic series or sth. It’s online, look it over and you’ll see how trippy it is.

Um… anon this is getting rly long tbh so let me sum up my knowledge of Shinto, Native American animism, and Jainism: not much!! Buddhism I have only an intro-level knowledge of, I know the basics but I don’t know more than that. The beliefs of Yazidis I don’t fully understand, but the little I know is pretty cool. From what I understand it’s a blend of pre-Islamic Kurdish religion + early Islamic influence + some other influences thrown in. It’s sad how they’re branded as devil-worshipers or w/e when the story of Melek Taus is actually really interesting and has a good moral and is way, way better than the story of Iblis. I also enjoy Yazidi architecture and that unique ribbed cone top of theirs. I hope they’re able to live on as a community after, uh, recent events.

I actually was taught about Bahai people growing up but I was told it was some heretical offshoot of Islam comparable to Ahmadiyya people. I didn’t realize it was considered its own religion until fairly recently tbh. I did read the Kitab al-Aqdas (which is blessedly short, this makes Bahai a great religion automatically!!) once. It’s definitely super inspired by the Quran in terms of style and to me clearly seems to be an attempt to make a Kinder And Also More Iranian Islam. I think it’s pretty neat. In fact I think a lot of attempts to magically make Islam “nicer” would just end up making it more like Bahai tbh. And it has a really fascinating history, with the Bab basically being a new John the Baptist and Bahaullah being the one he foretold. He even accidentally ended up in Israel lmao. I also really love Bahai architecture in terms of how diverse it is, with the only unifying feature being visual interest, and I would love to see the temple in India irl one day. India always has the best architecture anyway.

I saved Zoroastrians for last bc I have to be honest here. I tried to look into it, because it’s ancient and had an influence on Judaism etc and that makes it important. Fam I got about 3% of the way through the Avesta before giving up. I was still in the hymns part and just like… every other word was something I didn’t understand. I will go back and try again one day but for now the answer is “lol idk”.

ANYWAY… yeah… I’ve enjoyed reading about religion way more now that I’m not religious, both in terms of Islam and other religions, I can appreciate the process or w/e now that I’m not constantly trying to make it fit into Islam or panicking every time I spot something that makes me question my faith. I know a lot of atheists either fall away from religion altogether or just look at it like it’s something dumb, but even if it’s fake, that doesn’t make it worthless imo. The history itself is always worth studying.

[conflictedrabbit]

2* the AvPD

Conversation w/ my friend I mentioned earlier. With their name / identifying characteristics edited out and some chopping here and there. 

___: 

I made a post abt avod once tho and it got like A few rbs and I thought "if this isn't irony idk what is" Trje

66ccff: ekjal;kdjd;

___: 

me: why do, so many avoidants want to pay for being alive avpd Tumblr: hm . I relate

66ccff: ekleja;ejdl;k

___: me: I'm glad to know people relate but are we fucking ok

66ccff: 

LOL i mean mood tbh

___: HINESTLT like I noticed i do it cuz of you NFBNSBDKSBDKSS

66ccff: though do you mean pay as in like. pay the medical system or pay as in guilt

___: Guilt

66ccff: 

kejk;ldj;L yes ok that is definitely me me: i breathed 5 gallons of air within 3 hours i am so sorry world

___:

me: [realizes it's not entirely religious trauma and also probably just Guilt over taking up space and needing to help ppl otherwise Why Live?} 

Oh god me

66ccff: (this is not even ironic i get like this multiple times a week)

___: 

hdjhdjsd I've been having a bad ep lately actually and like I think I failed to look 5-6 people in the eyes today CUZ IM JUST [WALKS AROHND] WOW . TERRIBLE

66ccff: 

omg it's ok i nearly cried in class today b/c i didn't have a good eng translation for this jp sentence

i was like.... no.... don't....

i stabilized cuz the teacher went on a tangent for a second but like forcing myself to look in his eyes and act normal was so hard i looked away so many times i wa slike. oog my god. end m i love it when walking around where there's other people makes me really nervous and irritable agoraphobia is great!

___: 

GOD yea It's so awkward for me I'm fine if I have a safe person or I'm walking to class but like

66ccff: i came back from class today and took a 6 hr nap cuz of my shame and agoraphobia

___: 

Rip Wish I could do that...

66ccff: well i haven't done my homework so

___: 

I just. Cry a lot NDKSJDJDNSKDNS rip me: I'm strong Me: spent the last 5 days like crying over nothing

66ccff: 

dkjle;ajd i mean... i used to cry but then i got mad at myself for crying so now i just Repress (tm) and sleep and then. the joke is that sometimes it doesn't work self harms... oops... that didn't work either better nap again

___: 

zz Pillows keep u safe Idk what I've been doing lately but I thought I was getting better til I realized I was like Abstaining from feeding myself BFBJSBFSJJFD

66ccff: o h my god

___: 

And I was like "oh fuck I'm a terrible person bc someone told me I should eat and j Didn't Do It I Failed Them"

66ccff: 

ahahahahaahahaha i thought i was getting better too but it was actually because i was just forcing myself to study to give myself an illusion of doing my part and then i went to school and my actual performance is like bad b/c i avoid so many activities that would make me better and i just

___: samd

66ccff: 

Wow i want to die!

___: 

hdjsjdjs

I think I only managed to eat cuz my brother was expecting me to

66ccff: tavpdfw you want to be punished constantly so you don't have to have anxiety about existing

___: 

Cuz he bought me dinner like 6 hours ago but I didn't touch it til now BFJDJD MEEEEE

66ccff: dkja;eljd;

___: 

GOD me: ah I feel good today Me like 3 hours later: oh my God I shouldn't feel good abt myself that's so Selfish ? I am trash

66ccff: oh Mood

___: Avpd solidarity

66ccff: 

honestly i love my environmental soicology class but liek it talks about how we're all consuming and putting things back into the environment

___: Idk how I manage to have avpd and __pd but that's how it is on ths bitch of an earth

66ccff: and i was literally contemplating if death was the only way to take myself out from the cycle

___: 

Me Bhhjsfjd

66ccff: 

i was like holy shit. it's not just consumption i forgot i also put bad gases into the air with everything i breathe i am Bad

___: 

All day today I was hearing abt what happened in Vegas and we were like. Talking in my apologetics class abt the Nature of Evil

66ccff: the true environmentalist take is death

___: And I was just thinking "why must I, exist if all I am is bad"

66ccff: 

oh my god same! i looked over my abt page and i was like this looks fake tumblerina

___: 

apologetics: so mankind is basically evil Me: great! I'll die so there's less evil in the world

66ccff: 

me ME

MEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

___: HHDHSBDJSHD

66ccff: 

sometimes i have fantasies of like going backwards and apologizing to everyone i've ever talked to and to everyone who ever had to work to produce what i've consumed

___: 

M. E

m

66ccff: 

and then hoping that they forget about me and then like disappearing forever i jsut can't see how some people can be like oh yeah factories in china and mexico earn less than 2 dollars an hour to make our stuff and not jus twant to kill themselves

___: 

I'm just pathetic and compulsive if I feel bad about stuff I apologize til like 2 weeks after God. Yea

66ccff: 

the joke is that people hate if you overapologize so you jsut damned if you do damned if you dont :upside_down:

___:

me: uh sorry for being sad People: don't apologize for that Me: Avpd:.  They are mad that I am apologizing also that I am sad Hhhfjjejd

Me: 

ME WKJD;LKD "can you stop saying sorry" "sorry"

___: 

me: oh God I'm so miserable Someone: oh im sorry Me: I wish I could accept this but Pity is too much for a lowly worm like me

66ccff: "what did i just say"

___: MMSNDNBHHHHHHGGGGG

66ccff: 

:smile: :gun:

MOOD

___: avpd feel when you don't deserve to be pitied ?

66ccff: pity is too much kindness ___: 

God yea

LIKE probably just a conflicted feel but I prefer ppl being active than pitying me but then I'm like

"that's selfish I don't deserve that ?"

66ccff: 

someone tells you to watch where you're going feel like you're unable to go outside for the rest of the day

___: 

m. mebdbdhdhdjs

66ccff: oh yeah the joke is that i want people to like. be kind to me but also i don't

___: hell brain

66ccff: so i can't say what i want

___: GGG YEAH

66ccff: 

be kind to me except don't because i'll feel invalid either way so maybe just don't talk to me >feels worse anyway

___: 

Hhhhhhhhhhh me Me: talk to me ? But I don't know what to talk abt ? But I am also not good enough for pity you could just sit there maybe But then the presence of another person will overwhlem me and I'll go cry again/s

66ccff: feel free to entertain yourself, and forget about me, ___: 

Mebdndmdkskdjsja god [looks at all cluster c disorders] you are all bitches and I hate tou

66ccff: 

tavpdfw u gotta depersonalize to make it through the day of talking to other people and acting like ur a normal human bean MOOD

___: GOD yea

66ccff: 

i have a question though if im depersonalizing why do i still feel terrible even if i feel ilke im fake smh

___: God me

66ccff: 

me: i'm not real so heres me acting like i am chill and cool person that is interesting maybe or maybe not me, inside: this sucks and i hate this but im not real so it shouldnt affect me but damn i hate this when u feel separate from your auto-pilot but you still experience all the shame you would without it :thinking: avpd is stupid and contradictory and evolutionarily useless

___: 

__pd isnkind of the same but like if you manage it well you can get stuff done but you still breakdown over the TINIEST DETAIL I hate it And I waste more time thinking abt what I'm gonna do and not actully DOING MT SHIT

66ccff: cripes

___: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

66ccff:

me in high school UGH i'm ahving that problem right now dude in high school i used to just waste my days reading manga and thnking i should do my homeworka

___: 

me: I'll spend this hour scheduling [2hours later] Me: [stressed nbdjdjjsjdjsjdks

66ccff: and then i'd like. start at 10pm and fuck myself over ___: rip 66ccff: have a crying session at 4am every time an essay is due the next day ___: I actually didn't do one of my assignments tonight 66ccff: bad coping habits ___: Rip me I got discouraged over something lame JFJSNFKSNFD 66ccff: oh mood

___:

relationship issues: occur Me: well, I can't, do anything ever again

66ccff: 

i shouldn't even be discouraged abt my classes bc i'm here to learn and i'm just like. i know nothing i deserve to die kejd;kakejd friend, disagrees with you on something you feel unsure about: WELL I GUESS I AM BAD AND THEY HATE ME NOW time to ghost them

___: 

me: [perceives someone not caring for me] me: and Now...what is Mine Purpose...what do I live for...my Friends....have all abandoned m MEEEEEE avpd sounds super dramatic when you separate it from yourself but like In the moment I'm always just [jdut starts Fucking Crying

66ccff: 

i just want to manage to some kind of social work, give my wealth to some impoverished family, and then kms before 30

yeah my therapists in the past are like why... so soon

___: Jfjdjfjdf 66ccff: and i'm just like "why not i need to minimize all my ills on the world and also on the emotions of my family" ___: That reminds me of like. One of my mutuals talking abt how early he sleeps and he was just 66ccff: this is the optimal time look my life plan

___: 

"why be awake longer than necessary"

Hdhdhfjsjfdjdjdband. I was just . Me

66ccff:

because you hate yourself too much sleep :^)

___: 

God yea That's true. Me rn

I should've been asleep like an hour ago but [plays secret of Mana and then mopes]

66ccff:

dude i used to have bouts of insomnia b4 i got drugs that knock me out (and help me w/ anxiety) like.... i would lay awake and every second of being awake was just making the situation worse

___: I feel like I should get meds to balance out my bipolar eps but

66ccff: but then i couldn't sleep anyway so it was a damned situation ___: my parents r so anti meds 66ccff: rrghbh

___: 

also like Internalized ableism That I don't Needthem and So Many people don't need them

66ccff: oh yeah, why do my essay when i can read an hour of garbage romo manga and feel slightly less bad during that time and then hate myself more

___: 

So I Can do it cuz I'm like Everyone Else and not like Those "crazy" people Rifp

66ccff: 

man i don't wanna encourage meds if your side effects r bad but honestly how did i get the fuck through high school other than triggering intense anxiety about all assignments

like... i was so nonfunctional i shouldn't have even been in school

.....

66ccff: 

all accessibility problems are solvable humans are so bad

___: caring ? About others ? What a concept 66ccff: except sometimes they are good but that is definitely not me

___: 

Me

Ok I try to overcompensate w good to make up for inherent badness THANKS RELIGION

66ccff: 

the US is like: here's a pricetag for your life pay up

___: AAAA

66ccff: 

yeah i can see how christainity wouldn't help there w/ the "original sin" and stuff that doesn't quite exist in other abrahamic religions iirc judaism doesn't even have hell

___:  it's really weird

66ccff: 

i'm guessing its bc of jesus like.... y'all binches killed him so now this is life - christainity

___: 

Like. Christianity makes the most sense to me probably cuz I grew up w it but fuck Man

66ccff:  o yeah i grew up w/ some christianity too ___: It's FUCKED!!!!!! 66ccff:  i actually have agoraphobia issues w/ going inside of churches ___: Oh same 66ccff:  :^) ___: I'm actually fairly anti-church just because the current state of them is very bsd 66ccff:  oh yeah

....

66ccff: 

how can someone like me, who is literally not deserving of life, raise someone else

scrumbles

___:

Me Hdjehdsk

66ccff:  ___ we are so fucked ___: 

It's true Life is fucked We, are fucked

66ccff: existence is violence

[decodingbackstreet]

I know. It’s been so long. But I got caught up in other stuff. I will never go this long without a review again.

One of BSB’s cheesiest songs, Get Down (You’re the One for Me). It can be found on both their international and US debut albums. It was their 3rd international single and came along with an incredibly cheesy yet adorable video. Their haircuts in that video are legendary. As is the dance. Their performance of it in their Vegas show is one of my favorite parts. But this song is fun and even features a rap from Smooth T. For whatever reason, the version on the US debut album doesn’t include the rap.

Writers: Bülent Aris, Toni Cottura Producers: Bülent Aris, Toni Cottura

You're the one for me You're my ecstasy You're the one I need

The "cold opening," if you will. After that, the music starts and Brian yells at us.

Get down Get down And move it all around Get down Get down And move it all around

I suppose that's the chorus and the only time in the song they do it once. They want you to get down. Get down and what? Move it all around, of course.

Hey baby love I need a girl like you Tell me if you feel it too I'm in delusion every minute, every hour My heart is crying out for you

Nick singing so cutely. I'm gonna say this was recorded post-puberty. But like, before he settled in to the voice change. But Nicky is love sprung. Love at first sight, I suppose. So love sprung that he’s delusional. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not. You never know with BSB. They think drowning in someone’s love is awesome.

I feel in heaven when I look in your eyes I know that you are the one for me (one for me) You drive me crazy ‘cause You're one of a kind I want your loving And I want it right now

AJ here! More evidence of them being love sprung or whatever. AJ’s having an out-of-body experience staring at her. Much like in Hey Mr. DJ. So pushy tho. He wants to be loved back and he wants to be loved back at this very moment. Yelling that at the girl isn’t going to make her want you, AJ. It’s gonna send her running in the opposite direction.

They do the chorus part again. Twice. Then they do this part.

Ooh baby you're so fine I'm gonna make you mine Your lips they taste so sweet You're the one for me You're my ecstasy You're the one I need

Wow. That sounds so 90s. Even the lips tasting sweet part. Because in the 90s ppl loved flavored lip gloss. So it’s totally plausible that ol’ girl’s lips tasted like jolly ranchers. Ecstasy as well. Because in the 90s they called MDMA ecstasy. No I don’t think BSB likening the object of their affection to drugs but you never know. This is a BSB song, after all. Sometime they can be surprisingly dirty.

Now in the version we got on the US debut album, they edited out the rap. Why? I have no idea. But if I had to guess, it’s for the same reason none of the R&B songs except Darlin’ and INBYH made the cut for the US debut. They had an image to project in the US. However, I will still put the rap here.

Bang, bang, bang Here we come Here we slam It's the Fun Factory with the BSB's All the girls Get on your knees Trying to scream Or touch me please Backstreet Boys Are you with it (yeah) AJ hit it

Ok that’s Smooth T. (Toni Cottura) doing this part. Fun Factory is the name of the German group he’s from. You know this is the first time I’m actually paying attention to the words in this part and they’re kinda questionable. Why is he telling all the girls to get on their knees? And he’s asking so nice for them to touch him. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s asking for a blowjob.

Anyway...

Come on girl and get down Smack it up Flip it And move it all around Here it is If you wanna get with this Put you at the top of my list

AJ’s rap doesn’t do much to dispel that notion, either. Instead, it kinda backs it up. Who knew this song was oddly sexual? The guys did say one of the things they learned to say while they were in Germany was how to ask for a blowjob. I’m just saying...

Now in the US version of the song, instead of the rap it just skips to this after the ooh baby part.

I feel in heaven when I look in your eyes I know that you are the one for me, yes You drive me crazy ‘cause You're one of a kind I want your loving And I want it right now

Same thing AJ sang except this time it’s Brian singing it. Then they do the chorus twice. Then they do... I guess we can call the ooh baby part a “refrain.” Who even uses that word anymore when talking about music? Well, technically I’m supposed to call the “chorus” a “hook.” I prefer chorus tho.

Anysmoo, after the refrain, they slow it down and AJ does this part again

I feel in heaven when I look in your eyes I know that you are the one for me (one for me) You drive me crazy ‘cause You're one of a kind I want your loving, baby And I want it right now

Not a lot of variation in the lyrics of this song. Except for Nick’s part, they say the same thing over and over again. After this part with AJ they make some noise before taking it back to the cold opening of the song... then doing the hook til the song ends.

Without the rap, this could be a cute little song about dancing with a girl you’re attracted to. With the rap, you’re probably asking for a blowjob. That’s just one of the many ways it can be interpreted tho. That one is the funniest to me.

[hellotvv]

Brief Life Update

I guess after writing the long post. I kinda feel like updating on where I am in life right now.

It’s week 5 in this quarter and it’s kinda crazy to think that this quarter is halfway over. It honestly feels like this quarter moved INCREDIBLY fast T_T and I’m not really ready for this quarter to end... Honestly fall quarter felt a lot lot longer and my friend Brent/Henry felt the same way.

School has been fine, I think I’m doing okay in all my classes. But I do need to step up more in ochem lab and really spend the time to write better lab reports + do way better on the quizzes ugh... I really wanna do well in that class, but otherwise things are okay rn with school. I signed up for my classes next quarter as well.

In terms of friendships, I don’t think there’s any special development. I recently did a shoot in LA with my friend Fyona. She considers me her best friend and facetimes me almost every day, which is sweet of her. I’ll probably get around to posting a pic of the letter she gave me before I left to go back to SB on sunday, since it was very sweet and thoughtful. I really appreciate random acts of kindness! Like I never expect them, since idk I try not to expect too much from ppl otherwise I’d just be let down T_T. But uhh, I still talk to some of the model friends that I made. I snapchat Hope, Catherine, Cindy, and uh that’s pretty much it every now and then. I hang out with Brent, Bryan, Henry, Kristy, and Jessica pretty often nowadays. We grab lunch/dinner together and they’re on my snapchat very frequently haha. On the weekends, I party with the whole crew which is like Olivia, Rickie, Julian, Elizabeth, Shannie, Brooke, Bharat, Brent, Henry, Bryan, and me. Rebecca and her two housemates Chloe and Amy occasionally come by and party with us haha. I guess I’ve become slightly better friends with Rebecca and Chloe this year tho. Chloe is kinda really into me, but I don’t really like her back :(... I guess she has some similar interests with me, but I guess she’s not really my type? She’s fun to party with though? She kinda threw herself at me at the last party at Bharat’s place. She was sitting on my lap, kept leaning back onto me, sitting next to me, and putting her arms around me idk T_T I was like ahhh, I don’t even do anything yo... I never even flirted!!! She snapchats me pretty frequently too, but I’m nice and reply but I don’t think I lead her on or anything. Idk what to do yo, since she’d be a kinda cool friend, but idk if I’m interested. I don’t wanna hook up with her or anything either, since I know she wants a relationship. Also I’m not really that kinda guy tbh. I really like people for their personalities, kinda looks, and who they are as people. Also, if I were to get into a relationship, I honestly really get invested and only really want to get into relationships if I see it succeeding long time. I feel like I have a lot to offer as a boyfriend too, so I can’t too easy!! But yeah... Uhhh, idk what to do with Chloe, but will see how life goes? Uhm, friendships.. Hmhm. Yeah, honestly I just hang out with the boys, go to smash club now and then, I have lab when photography club is going on so can’t do that, talk to Fyona, party on weekends with the crew, and I have my usual good friends back in the OC area still as well~ My friends and I also make a lot of plans of things to do together like Disneyland, food adventures, o.c. adventures, la adventures, and etc! So things are pretty good :)

Oh made progress with clothing brand, got 3 samples done of first shirt. Will only start mass producing it, once the next shirt design finally gets finished by Henry.. Super lagger. 

Photography has been going well, did a shoot over the weekend, but only feel like a couple shots were good. I honestly haven’t been too happy with my shots lately. I feel like I need to improve in a couple key things. I really want more professional looking models for more professional looking images. Kinda want more mature looking people and less young looking haha. I really want better backgrounds and need to shoot at places that have cooler backgrounds. I also wanna work on expressions, since good photos have really good expressions from the models. I don’t think I’m bad at posing, and I just need to work on drawing better expressions from models + shoot at better places. I want to do more creative shots like at a laundromat, at pretty places, water/lakes shots, and idk.. I guess I think my technical skill is okay, but I need to get better with more diverse cool shots.

Video games. I haven’t really played as much games as I used to. I still play overwatch every here and there. I play smash maybe like once a week, which is a lot less than I used to. Idk, I guess I just feel more busy with school, and been just hanging out with ppl haha. I’ll probably invest more time in smash, since I really like the smash community here.

Hmhm, I guess that’s really it for now. I’ve been reading a LOT of chinese novels nowadays. Sigh, they’re so good ;-;.. Low-key makes me want to learn chinese, just so I can spam read all these great novels all day without having to wait for translations. 

Uhm, I got lunar new years $$ over the weekend, which is useful haha. I might get a new car apparently once the lease on my car expires. Idk I’m perfectly content with my car, and whatever new car I get apparently is going to just be a bit of an upgrade. But yeah, I guess I don’t really care what car I drive if it works fine! I do need to go to Disneyland more, considering I have an annual pass. I did go over winter break with Hope, but idk need to go more and make the most out of it~

Idk what else to post here, but I guess that’s kinda my life update so far. Can’t really complain besides my kinda busy + stressful last week and this week~ Things should be more mellow and chill next week tho! Also I look forward to going home over the 3 day weekend! Uhh will work out plans for that later~ 

[decodingbackstreet]

Trust Me from In a World Like This. I don’t really have much to say on this song. I’m not that big a fan of it. It’s not bad, just not something I’m clamoring to listen to. This intro sucks, doesn’t it? What can I say? I’m not really a fan of the song. Pretty sure this was supposed to be a single buuuuut... Technical difficulties kept it from being one.

Writers: Martin Terefe, James Bryan, Justin Nozuka Producer: Martin Terefe

Let me tell you about this girl I know First glance and damn she stole my heart She amazes me The way she moves Just the way she moves Hold me back Just the way she moves Take me to the disco Make me dance

Howie leading off this time. Love at first sight. Or lust. It seems like the girl always amazes them. They use that a lot in songs. Amazed. Anyway, the habit of watching women dance from afar is back. And now Howie is like hold me back. Are you gonna fight her on the dancefloor or something? Is Knuck If You Buck playing? Sometimes BSB could be so weird.

Honey spinnin’ ‘round like a queen And the way you do your thing Oh you're mesmerizing me Imma tell you how I feel And the feeling is so real Baby It's just so simple

Yes. Brian says Imma. I didn’t make that up. Again, we hearken back to the days of Hey Mr. DJ. Dancing hypnotizes them for some reason. Anyway, while she’s weaving her spell to make them do her bidding, they swear what they’re feeling is real. Mmhmm... Sure.

You've got to call me And Imma call you back Kiss me Imma kiss you back Love me And baby Imma love you back You've got to trust me Trust me Hold me Whenever you're alone Baby Even when your crazy Love me Baby Imma love you back You've got to trust me

AJ leads this chorus. AJ led a lot of the choruses on this album. Yes. They’re still saying Imma. They clearly want to enter a relationship with the Dancing Queen. So, there they go with the promises again. But why trust? Is the Dancing Queen hesitant or something? Has she given any indication that she’s been hurt before? Let’s continue...

Our love You and me Underneath the willow tree Kissing, loving, making sweet sexy babies The grass is greener on the other side There's no other side when it's you and I Tonight Let’s count the stars

AJ... Dude... I had to pause the song to make sure I heard him right on the making sweet sexy babies line. He says that. That is the lyric. If I’m wrong, please let me know. I hate it when ppl refer to doing the do as making babies.  Gosh. Just say sex. But I suppose it needed to rhyme with tree.

So now they’re spending time on a lawn somewhere. Willow trees are terrible. Don’t let the movies fool you. The leaves get everywhere. If it’s windy, you get slapped in the face. The only things they’re good for are the aesthetic and climbing. AJ is also mentioning how great life is that there is no other side. This is as good as it gets. And now I guess they’re outside with the tree and counting stars. Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep...

Time will always be our enemy For tonight baby Come lie here next to me I can never get enough of your blue eyes Just another butterfly Sigh

Kevy-Kev here to join that party... under the willow tree. There’s never enough hours in a day, are there? It all seems to go by so fast. Unless you’re in high school and all you do is spend time staring at the clock. Did you guys know blue eyes are a defect and that everyone with them has the same ancestor? Jut thought I’d share that bit of info. He says sigh. I don’t know why.

There’s the chorus again, a short music break, and then Nick in his head voice is welcomed.

Let’s believe that we’ll find out How it feels with something so right Don't you think it's time To let your guard down Don’t you think it’s time Don’t you think it’s time

Nick trying to wheedle his way into this girl’s life. Y’all have already been laying under a willow tree. Y’all not together yet? And I’m just gonna assume the girl is resisting because she was hurt at some point. That was never really explained. BSB never explains.

They do the chorus twice more and then the song ends with clapping. I do like the end of the song tho. I also like the chorus. You can hear everyone in it and I like that. The lyrics leave much to be desired, tho.