#i think it’s funny that 50k will probably only get me like 2/3 of the way through the story tho…

[dahldahlbills]

nano day 13

total word count: 1197

almost done with scene 8! It went a lot better than I expected so I’m content with the progress even if I didn’t get to write as much as I would’ve liked. Though that limited writing is more due to not having time than struggling with words lol if it’s not one it’s the other unfortunately .—.

but hopefully I carry this energy into tomorrow’s writing session :D

[pitter-patt-art]

Ace Attorney AU August oops-august-has-been-over-for-a-week Update!!

Hiiiii well okay first and most importantly of all! Happy investigations collection day everyone!!!! My copy is supposed to arrive by 10pm although I'm not sure I'll be playing it right away, but, hey, once it arrives I'll have in my possession at least one physical copy of every game in the series (2 for aai1, woohoo)!!! *Coughs* uh except all of the OG Trilogy which instead I own like 2 times over digitally (3 in T&T's case, thanks Wii) lmao. Ah well.

NOW the actual post. Yeah it's not August anymore but I've been recuperating or w/e so shhh, better late than never!

Overall I wrote over 50k words (actually in August itself) and posted 5 fics (with many more in progress), which is honestly just, wild???? That is so cool. Apparently the way to overcome writer's block is just overcommit to a month-long prompt list, who knew!

Here is my post about the first 17 days/AUs! And over here's my Ao3 series for these! Below the cut I'll wrap up the last 14 days of AUs, some thoughts, etc!

I am setting the goal for myself to actually finish writing these before the end of the year even if they're not technically "AU-gust" qualified anymore by the time I get to them sooo ...wish me luck!! In the meantime I am proud of myself for (tbh completely unnecessarily and to my detriment lmao) coming up with actually a full 31 solid AUs based on the prompts that I feel inspired by.

This post is gonna be a bit more rambly than the last one because I definitely did more of my writing last month the first 2 weeks rather than the last 2, but nevertheless--

Onto the remaining AUs!

18 - Space Travel

So, I actually started a draft at the airport before my vacation where I got wayyyy too sidetracked getting detailed about this one and thus ended up not being able to finish the post before takeoff lmao. I'm not sure whether it's annoying or interesting to include all of that here, but it's my post so fuck it, here's August 21st patt to tell you aaall about it so I don't have to: The Martian AU (I've only seen the movie and not read the book but i *did* literally just re-watch it because this thought crossed my mind lol. (Hello! It's future me popping in to say: fun fact, rewatching this movie literally ended up being the reason I knew a bar trivia answer last week lmao. Huzzah for the powers of Ace Attorney refreshing my movie quote knowledge.) Be glad this one occurred to me because my first inclination was to lean into the dark past of my vld phase (I'm super joking I had a lot of fun with it before the last few seasons haha sorry idk what to tell you friends) and see how much I'd retained if i tried to make that work but the martian sounded more fun in the end). Apparently my Thing™ is a) poisoning Phoenix and b) putting Apollo in an insane situation in which he's completely on his own--which all things considered is probably far meaner lol. I think Phoenix is to blame for creating his own problem here for choosing to eat the stupid necklace but I fully blame Capcom for all the BS Apollo has gone through after AA4 (bc...the stuff IN that game is. coincidentally also Phoenix's blame to claim. lol). That said I'm part of the problem teehee. Apollo can be Some Guy from the real world who gets isekai'ed and he can also be Mark Watney :P (sorry bud I love you but you have just the Worst case of unavoidable main character syndrome). ((Which is QUITE funny actually because I'll never get over Capcom calling 4,5,6 the """"Apollo Justice Trilogy"""" (it's really not and it's frankly insulting they're trying to say it is.) Like he's. Y’know. The main character in exactly one of those games...... so.)) What was I talking about? Lmao oh yeah so Apollo is left on Mars (not sure he actually has much in the way of Botanist™ vibes but the indomitable, never-say-die, highly sarcastic vibes.... ye haha that's my boy right there). Omg wait sorry I'm writing this and realizing this whole thing actually fits the 18th AND yesterday's (the 20th) prompt as well. Whoops.

Clay as the captain (let him do something, says I)

Trucy as I think the pilot ONLY because I am literally constantly on the lookout to make a Wright Flying Brothers joke, sorry

Klavier aaaas. Uh. So the German astronaut in the film is the chemist and navigator and I know Klav's not necessarily supposed to be actually German canonically but there IS something funny about it

Athena as the flight surgeon and EVA specialist (for a couple reasons but mostly so she can be a doctor lol. I imagine she also can be there for psych stuff too, like, it's a long ass space voyage, that does shit to your brain)

Kay as the SysOp and reactor tech, tbh mostly because for some reason i really have a thing for hacker/programmer Kay, i guess?

Ema I want to be there also lol so that would be exceeding the actual number of OG astronauts but eh it's my AU. The rest of these I'm just directly comparing to a crew member from the martian but I think some of the titles and tasks could be redistributed a little to allow an extra person as a treat for me.

Originally i kind of wanted Sebastian (....SIGH. or...Eustace. (I fear even though it's AAIC release day today, I truly may die on this hill forever, falling on my sword of devotion and gratitude to the fan translation team... That said, while I think Eustace is, like, a Deeply Fine name, I have to say that Excelsius is a fucking knockout name lmfao, that one took me out. Anyway, ahem: "I wanted Seb/Eustace...")) to be there too but I think that's getting into too many cooks territory just specifically bc I'd have too many voices to play with lmfao. So instead I think he's the operator who works the satellite and realizes Apollo is alive, I think he'd fit that well. NOT THAT that needs to be. Included. In the AU. I have...so much self control.

Anyway I have too many thoughts about it, it's a problem, ironically I think I would prefer to focus on the crew and not Apollo himself, so that would at least make it more than just a rehashing of the movie/book. (Or, the movie at least. Does the book spend more time with them? I should read the book.) ...I did, Of Course, also came up with a funny, pseudo-future-science-y way to do a Sibling Reveal in this one, so there's that, too, haha. OKAY AND, SCENE. Snatching my mic back from myself. I'm actually so devoted to the Martian AU now hahaha, I really didn't think I'd let that happen to myself but here we are... You'll see in a bit, but I for-better-or-worse do truly have an extended universe going on for it now, eheh... (Help.)

19 - Spies

Franmaya?? Franziska POV??? Here's the deal: I cannot BELIEVE I got this many days into the month and STILL hadn't come up with a franmaya-centric AU, it's terrible. Also I need a Maya POV if I want to hit my self-set, self-indulgent goal of having POV of every "main" character I can (did I exactly accomplish this no but that's perfectly fine obviously haha it was just a side achievement I had my eye on). So to that end, I ended up with something here that I'm not COMPLETELY sure I won't end up changing when I sit down to actually work on it, but in short: semi The Princess Bride vibes but with spies instead of pirates! Or uh! So um okay full disclosure lol I got all excited about an AU of this kind and then like an hour into daydreaming it into existence I realized I was heavily relying on / leaning into ASSASSIN territory rather than SPY. Which are notably different things. (Wait lol should I blame Spy x Family?? Totally Endo-sensei's fault and not at all mine, boom, take that.) ...And not to go even harder into sxf territory, whoops, but my idea was something along the lines of like, since Kurain School Channeling changes spirit mediums' appearance entirely, I was going to have Maya be something of an expert in disguise, and Franziska I was almost more or less going to let retain her actual position of international prosecutor with Interpol, although perhaps I'd lean more into a James Bond-esque intelligence agency sort of thing than what we see them do in-game, I'm not sure. Maya gets "killed" for real in 2-4 except she actually just becomes an international assassin(?) apprentice. Does this make sense? Probably not lol. But is it a little funny and a little sad? Yes, yes it is, and that's always my sweet spot as a writer. The only problem with this premise is I can't stop myself from considering what Phoenix would do / be doing in the background, because the problem with Maya "dying"-only-being-secretly-alive leaves at least twofold problems in justifying why Nick hasn't gone full conspiracy theory board stop-at-nothing-to-find-her, in that a) If she's not dead, Pearl can't channel her, and knowing Pearl I have to imagine that would be her first move to try tbh, and b) even if that weren't an issue, if the police were never able to track down Maya's body at all, I fully believe Nick would still throw himself at the problem until he's able to find answers irregardless, so. This ain't about him though!! So we'll just all have to deal with knowing he's taking reaaally really bad care of himself while he single-mindedly tries to figure out what's going on ahaha...ha. He's most absolutely the drowning child in the facebook post meme. Don't worry about him.

20 - Crossover/Fusion

Soooo. Okay. First may I say, I'm not the most crossover-fic-y person in the world neither as a reader nor writer. HOWEVER. Unfortunately. My one undying weakness has proven to be Ace Attorney x Legally Blonde (and more specifically Legally Blonde the Musical, the best version, though I do love Reese Witherspoon's performance ofc it's iconic but the musical is just MWAH ugh. One of my all-time favorite musicals and definitely the one I've listened to the most esp the past couple years hahaha.) The problem is, I've joked about so many slight variations / one very Long Intensive specific AA/LBtM crossover AU ideas, that trying to limit myself to a one-shot I could conceivably finish within a day proved too much for my decision paralysis and I didn't end up writing any of them lmao. Alas. Mostly, I just think it would be funny to see the characters interact in something of a vacuum just for fun, the problem is just that I happen to be uniquely terrible at not thinking through a Crack AU until I can, ahem, "crack" it, so to speak, to make it actually justifiably function. So in theory all I want to write for this day is some combination of like, Elle and Phoenix interacting and Miles and Emmett interacting, or the four of them having a conversation that goes something like "omg wait me too!! i also went from a creative undergrad degree directly into law to chase after some guy!! what are the odds teehee" while Emmett and Miles watch in horror, and also alternatively Emmett and Phoenix mostly bemusedly watching Elle and Miles geek out over like, fancy ass high class (pink) clothing like "uh yeah i have no idea what any of those words mean. she bought me this suit and i honestly wouldn't even be able to find the store again. oh no way he bought you yours too?? man, wild." Etc. (If anyone's interested in really watching me suffer and spiral: my longer and more intensive idea for an AU with them is to have them be tackling parallel cases where either of them (Elle and Phoenix) has specific knowledge that is helpful to defending the others' client, and they get like place-swapped through dimensional shenanigans somehow also related to the cases. And Phoenix has to abide by, like, nominally-accurate US trial law (I know he wouldn't really be licensed shhhh) -- by which I mean Emmett is sitting as his co-council and exercising the most restraint possible to keep from bashing his head into the table every two seconds. And Elle has to abide by guilty-until-proven-innocent Japanifornia trial law ("wait WHAT omg what do you MEAN the prosecution can just, like, not submit their evidence before the trial???? wait what do you MEAN we should just TAKE THAT that is EVIDENCE AT A CRIME SCENE--"). On the bright side, Elle gets to experience being one of the most normally-dressed people in a courtroom and not at all being looked down upon for her general vibes and wardrobe (like tell me she wouldn't fit right in in the ace attorney universe and seem completely ordinary), and Phoenix gets to experience a real jury (take that jurist system trial that Capcom would like to never ever talk about again) and also the judge going "so, Prospective Juror No. 103, do you understand that the defense in this criminal trial does not need to say a single word in order to be doing their job? the burden of proof lies entirely on the prosecution the entire time and the defense and defendant could choose to remain silent every day of trial and that would be completely within their rights, do you understand that? are you okay with that?" etc etc, shout out to my jury service a couple month ago and the kinds of questions a real life California judge asks jurors that would seriously blow the minds of every single character in Ace Attorney lmfao can you imagine? Anyway.) So yeah idk. Also something something, spirit mediums and the whole Greek Chorus bit from the musical... "School Spirit"... much to think about in crack AU land hahaha.)

21 - Absurd Tragedy

To be honest with you, this is the entire series lmao, so much so that I had trouble even thinking of an AU to be "alternate" in any way here, hahaha. What I sort-of landed on and have vague outline notes about in my doc is (not to make another excellent-musical-adaptation-of-an-already-top-tier-movie-which-is-itself-a-highly-unfaithful-adaptation-of-a-fairly-obscure-book reference) a Shrek the Musical "I Think I Got You Beat"-style debate about whose canonical absurd tragic circumstances are the worst, lmfao. Granted, this then turned into a "wait what if I use said argument as an absurd way in which to make Apollo and Trucy have a siblings realization completely on their own, which both compounds the fact they've both already lived such tragedy to begin with but also could touch on Phoenix knowing about it and not telling them about it", and uhhhhh lmfao a debate specifically between them is OBVIOUSLY not the romantic flirting banter of the song between Shrek and Fiona lmfao but like still, the general premise, just in a sibling bickering coat of paint instead. Also was toying with it being an Athena POV just to sell home / for the additional absurdity of the experience of "you've gone over to your friend's house to hang out and suddenly they're obnoxiously arguing with their sibling and their parents are nowhere to be seen and you're not exactly sure what you're supposed to do with yourself except awkwardly wait for them to be done" lmfao. Which I've most absolutely experienced from both ends multiple times hahaha. The alternative option for this prompt is just for me to write an excessively long essay debating and attempting to personally rank the main cast's level of absurd tragedy compared to each other, lol.

22 - Orphan

I wrote 324 words (slash one physical lined page in my actual notebook) of this while I was on vacation, lol. AU where Miles invites Phoenix to go watch one of Gregory's trials (or Phoenix invites himself, or Gregory invites him while Miles tries to hold the landline phone away from him, lol) and I mean of course the trial he goes to is The Trial (like, Jeffre... AW CRAP wait I don't actually know what Jeff Master's or Kate Hall's official names are lmfao uhhh. Well you know what don't worry about that. Happy AAIC day once again..? Lol. Anyway, the concluding day of Gregory's last trial, obviously, ignore the defendant's name.) Like, basically, here's my thought. AU where Phoenix is also there, and not only does that mean he knows what happened to Miles and Gregory but also, like, it's Phoenix. Tell me even at 9 he wouldn't be insisting on taking care of the poor kid who just lost everything and has nowhere in the world to go. Tell me he's not like, begging his parents they need to help him, lol. I think really this is just sort of an AU to explore one of my several personal headcanons for what Phoenix's parents are like, because I've spent a lot of time on a different version of them (coughs for the last AU on this list...coughs) but I also have a version of them which I find fun / funny where they're like, kinda hippy-dippy and like very hands-off (tbh almost all of my hc's about the Greater Wrights is they're very hands off, just in different ways) but in more of a "we want our child to experience the beauty and wonder of the world on his own time and not influence him or set rigid standards to conform to" kind of philosophy. Anyway my point is they like adopt/foster Miles somehow before Manfred can actually get his hands on him (he's still too busy dealing with the fresh bullet wound I guess?) This is just a gen au of course, not only because they're 9 lol but also the logistics of being adoptive/foster siblings gets weird quick lmao, but mostly I just find it interesting to think about what might have happened if Miles was in an environment where people paid more attention and cared more (and weren't explicitly influencing and manipulating him to exasperate the problem on purpose), because I have to imagine examining his nightmares a little more closely a little more quickly might have led someone (say, Phoenix who was also there in this AU) to find something slightly off about it or like start putting pieces together quicker, idk. I, uh, I'm not gonna lie to you, I don't actually remember how I intended to end this one hahaha ;; I started it but I was on vacation and neglected to outline / summarize the rest of my ideas the day of, so I guess I'll just have to see where my mind takes me when I get back to it.

23 - Musician

So my FIRST thought for this day was to use it as an excuse to finish my First Ever Ace Attorney Fic, which has been in WIP stasis for...uh.... 6. Years. i--SIX????? Shit. lmfao. yeah uh. I guess I created the first version of the doc (on my OneNote, god) back in 2018. So. Yeah. Hm. Omfg. This fic has partially existed since before Phoenix Disbarment Day. That is so. Wow. Damn. Y'all we're so close to aa4 time (2026) what the hell??? Ahem. Pianist Phoenix. That's. My point lmao. I know the original thing that sparked me loving this concept was actually some tumblr post I saw apparently a LONG long time ago, hahaha, and I know there's no way I'll find it with tumblr's abysmal search function, but just know it was not a completely original idea of mine when I say i fucking LOVE the headcanon that, you know what actually Phoenix CAN play the piano, he just chooses to do it as shittily as possible because that's kind of what he's like post-disbarment and he'd absolutely get a kick out of fucking with people like that even if they have no way to know they're being fucked with. It's like, he's no virtuoso or anything, but he can passably play the piano! He's just being an ass on purpose! It kills me every time lol. I won't say I think that's necessarily true in canon so ofc it's not like an end-all-be-all hc for me or anything but it's just sooooo funny to me that I like to break it out any time I possibly can. Look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't. Honestly, look me in the eyes and tell me if he actually put his mind to it in any meaningful way he wouldn't be able to get decent quickly regardless, considering the fact he became an accomplished lawyer on more-or-less a total whim. This to say: that was my intention, to finish this fic I've had brewing that was about Phoenix actually being able to play the piano and hiding it for a really long time but eventually being found out by Miles by chance. Except then I sat down on the plane and started writing a Pearl POV instead? In which she finds out about more or less the same exact concept but from Iris--also by chance, but less actually catching him playing and more being asked, "Oh, does he still play? He was always good at that." And then bc it's Pearl (Pearl I love you), of COURSE she goes and confronts him about it. Pearl might be the single most confrontational character in these games tbh which is SO FUNNY to me. Like I'm kind of exaggerating obviously but also am I? I know she has psyche-locks you have to break through multiple times throughout the series but stiiiill. Everyone else is so repressed and weird about anything remotely vulnerable, I stg. Props to Maya for making sure Pearl turned out pretty okay I guess, lmao. Anyhow yeah that's sort of the AU I ended up with. Pearl POV where she and Iris know they're sisters (don't get me started on this I have so many thoughts about the amount of information I'm positive Maya and Pearl are NEVER given skjflj) and Pearl visits Iris in prison regularly and on one such visit maybe she mentions Nick's job at Borscht and Iris makes a totally innocuous comment to the effect that Pearl learns he actually knows how to play the piano and she goes to get mad at him about it because he's definitely been pretending he can't and Pearl's pretty sure he's told neither Maya nor Trucy the truth and that cannot be left to stand.

24 - Pretend Hate

Okay, this exists in a similar realm to the Orphan prompt, except instead of Phoenix being there for the trial or the Wrights taking Miles in before Manfred can, it's more just AU where Miles doesn't actually cut all contact and he and Phoenix successfully end up exchanging correspondence (in semi-secret) during the time they're separated (i.e. they remain friends and close during the 15 years they're separated in canon). "Semi-secret" because they--esp Miles--somehow hide who exactly it is they're talking / writing to all the time but don't necessarily hide the fact they are doing that. Like, a fake cultural / language exchange program or something? I feel like there could be a world where Manfred really doesn't give a shit what Miles is up to as long as he's being molded into "someone Gregory Edgeworth would hate" (I don't think he would lol but that's another AU) and becoming a model von Karma protege prosecutor and such. He obviously goes to lengths to cut Miles off from everything he's familiar with in that he takes him to Germany, but I've always thought it's way more on Miles feeling guilty and blaming himself and thinking he's unworthy / pushing people away being the reason why they never talked before aa1 despite Phoenix's "attempts to contact him," whatever those may be specifically. And, yeah, I've watched that one episode of the anime but tbh I don't really use anime canon for almost anything besides maybe some of the fun visuals, haha, so I'm kind of disregarding that anyway. ANYWAY. My point is. The "pretend hate" part is that--sometime over the course of exchanging correspondence, Phoenix starts thinking something's weird and gets it in his head to "investigate" himself, since he's still in LA / has access to the scene of the crime and stuff, and then as a combo of him just plugging away at it until he has enough (circumstantial) evidence to be like "Miles I think you're wrong about this" and also a younger, slightly less repressed, slightly less in Manfred's pocket Miles actually being somehow willing to consider alternatives a little--they're able to put their heads together and eventually come to the (correct) conclusion ahead of time, before the 15-year statute of limitations, that it was almost certainly Manfred who did it. And then they work together to figure out how they can possibly PROVE that but they haven't thought of anything foolproof by the time aa1 events start rolling around (or at the very least, the 5-years-ago sections of aa3? It might make more sense if it's as soon as Miles returns to Japanifornia, and also I think Phoenix has way less reason to fall for Dahlia/Iris so hard if Miles is around and *coughs* available lmfao. Anyhow). So, in the hopes it'll keep Manfred from getting suspicious of Miles, they publicly pretend to hate each other, putting on a show of more of the canon attitude Miles esp. has before 1-4, but behind the scenes they're actually working together trying to think of a way they can definitely get a conviction to stick that Manfred won't be able to worm out of. And that's the AU! Idk, in terms of additional thoughts, I couldn't decide what to do / what would happen to Mia in this AU either, which doesn't super matter but did give me pause. So she might live, idk, depends the exact timeline. I do also think a scene where--Dahlia still hits on Phoenix in the reading room/courthouse library but he's like, actively there waiting for one of Miles' trials to conclude for a covert meeting, so when Miles gets there and is like "What are you messing with over there?" Phoenix is like "Oh, hey, check out this weird bottle some girl just gave me because apparently she fell in love at first sight, haha, isn't that so funny--" and then Miles recognizes it from the Fawles trial and they catch Dahlia earlier or something, idk. Or alternatively Phoenix was AT that trial so HE recognizes it. Or maybe it's funniest if he was there but doesn't recognize it until Miles does lmao, this is not the point of this AU but I can't stop myself from considering this part of it.

25 - Scientists

So THIS is the day I sort of alluded to earlier, many many words of post ago, where I got so invested in my The Martian AU that I started accidentally worldbuilding about it. What I've started and have about 400 words of (slash one notebook page, again from the plane after my vacation), is like, AU where it's NASA instead of law and I can make Phoenix go "What, like it's hard?" only it's about literally rocket science this time hahaha. Basically for this fic I just thought, well what if Phoenix just shows up as a flight tech or engineer or something (idk I don't really know that much about real life astronautics) as Miles is preparing for some space mission or something and he's just like WHAT are YOU doing HERE. I know I know I made Apollo literally be the titular martian and yes he ALSO has a (or tbh probably has a WORSE) canonical debilitating fear of heights, so, shhh, but I do like the idea that Phoenix is like, oh, who, me? In the flying metal death trap? No fucking thank you, I will be down here watching and talking directly to you through a headset or something. You cannot escape me however i can at least escape the building I'm in. No interest in seeing the Earth from above, thanks. Actually iirc Miles also doesn't love heights but meh whatever I'm fairly certain Phoenix talks about it the earliest in the series so there you go. Anyway, this would all be a mission prior to whatever mission it is that Apollo & Co. go on to Mars for the first part of the AU, so I guess you could consider it a prequel? And probably a fairly shippy one. I have other reasons for which it's fun for me if wrightworth is at least together if not outright married before the events of the "The Martian" part of the AU, so this one would be, like, about how exactly that went down.

26 - Victorian Era

Okay, once again, this just. IS. Literally. Dai Gyakuten Saiban / The Great Ace Attorney. Lol. That said, I've always loved the fanart I've seen of like Ryuunosuke and Phoenix (and respective Co.'s) interacting, or like, one or the other ending up in the other time period somehow, so I thought it'd probably be fun to try my hat at that. I feel like I've neglected the tgaa characters anyway, considering I actually somehow managed to reference PLvPW already, which is obviously significantly more of a spinoff and also just largely non-canonical, lmao. Also tgaa is just SO GOOD, augh. I'd love to have the multi-witness cross examinations from both of those games back sometime again, and I had so much fun with the jury in tgaa too, excellent mechanic. What was I talking about? So, I never completely decided on a concrete direction to take this, but even before AU-gust had started I'd already been toying with the idea of an AU where maybe Maya or Pearl channels a character from tgaa specifically because some documentary or special or something comes out talking about the real-life Herlock Sholmes (as opposed to the Totally Fictional "Sherlock Holmes" who Phoenix references in that one trilogy line, because I really think that's the funniest possible explanation for the discrepancy) and they're arguing over how that cannot possibly be a real person and no one was named that and etc etc and then to prove once and for all one way or the other Hurley is channeled and also for bonus joke content "recognizes" Phoenix at first (idk pretend his eyesight got worse in his older age, I know Phoenix and Ryuunosuke look, tbh, less alike than Ryuu and Apollo do, lmao, but again that's another AU) and then I get to play with Phoenix's mom's maiden name is Naruhodou and his middle name is Ryuuichi or such to that effect, because that is also a favorite headcanon of mine (not in small part because I can project my own life onto him by making him half-Japanese from SoCal, lol). So that's an idea I'd had that was already decently fleshed out and the ONLY problem is that if I'm having characters actually be channeled then there's a very real limiting factor of how many spirit mediums exist, and also that means Maya and/or Pearl don't get to interact with them, which for the sake of not overwriting would be good but for the sake of my love of a chaotic group conversation would be bad. But, uh, hopefully I do manage to hold myself to a less broad cast of characters, ideally, instead of bringing a bunch of them over to the other time period to see how they'd deal with that and interact en masse. Ha. Haha.

27. Younger / De-Aged

So here's another AU I'd already had idle thoughts about before AU-gust had even started! I...will get into this later, TRUST I will, lmfao, but I do have an extremely involved AU already in which Time Travel of the "regression" type is involved, i.e., they have their memories of the "future" but are thrown back into the past including their own younger bodies however-many-years-ago. So I've got that type of thing covered, I promise I do, haha. And additionally, I've actually already written them "younger" for my colorless AU way back on day 2, so I did think perhaps I'd just continue that one and say it was for this prompt (a smart person thing to do. this is the objectively correct option). On the other hand. I find pre-DL6 Phoenix and Miles reacting to how their lives actually turned out in the end HILARIOUS. Tell me it's not funny. And tell me it's not, like, some sort of depressing-yet-ultimately-hopeful for the older/current them to look at their child selves and be like Kid, Oh, You're Going To Go Through Some Shit, but also reflect on how they did make it and things turned out okay and life goes on etc etc. My problem with this kind of thing is that it's hard to come up with a justification for and that's not a problem in itself but it is a problem in me not knowing how i'm going to end a fic, which often gets me decision-paralysis-ed into not being able to start it in the first place, which did in fact happen to me here, haha. I think ideally I'd just do a quick "wait, was that a dream?" kind of thing where they (Miles and Nick) have a short conversation with themselves, but... Uh-oh, what, did you think that was all I had? You clearly don't know me at all. OTHER au option where young Phoenix is in the future/present and rather than himself and Miles it's the Wright Anything Agency who like, idk, find him roaming the streets of LA (fun fact! I actually came up with this AU one day while I was quite literally roaming the streets of LA myself at like 3am-ish. Do with that what you will). He is of course wearing a hat or beanie or something at first because come on, that's way more fun, and no matter how much Trucy, Apollo, and Athena are like "hm idk something about this kid seems familiar" I just don't think my first thought upon seeing some vaguely familiar kid alone on the street would be, like, "Oh, that's obviously a child version of my father/coworker/boss!" So. I'm not really sure that one has an end point either, though, so the same problem still stands, haha. The bad, someone get a spray bottle to spritz me, option of this is, obviously, to combine the two, so it's like the WAA find him first and then are like UHHHHH we need an adult (never mind actual adult-age-ness between them) and somehow end up getting Miles there too, but idk. I... should not. Overcomplicate. I shouldn't. Even, even if...august is over...so theoretically there's no longer any sort of On-Time component since it's late either way........ definitely not.

28 - Caretaker

Here are my exact notes / entire doc for this day. Ahem. And I quote: i brought up the lighthouse keeper thing but i dont know where that would be going exactly maybe this is a thing i could do franmaya for??? since i still havent gotten there? actually lol that as a lighthouse thing is funny. ghost romance? my three tropes rattle End quote. Anyway, shout-out to my friend hailstorm for being the one there to brainstorm "lighthouse keeper" with at the self-same bar trivia that I mentioned previously, lmao. I actually think that was even the same exact day as the The Martian quote was a relevant answer to a question. So yeah, even though I already kind of have franmaya planned for the spies day, that's both kind of sort of a darker AU overall and--WELP well, okay, so, i do, you know, recognize maybe a ghost romance isn't, uh, necessarily the fluffiest kind of AU lmao. Don't mind that. My point is, I love the vibes of a lighthouse keeper AU, and I generally like ghost romance as a trope, so that does feel like a viable option. Honestly, I kind of separately wanted an excuse to practice writing miego also, so maybe the Feys are just all chillin' in this lighthouse for...Some Reason, and that's side-plot relevant somehow, idk. I know Franziska and Godot exist in the same place for a minute in 3-5, but I honestly can't really remember them interacting? I think she'd fucking HATE him though lmfao. He'd think she's funny but I actually think she'd be too reactive for his most preferred teasing/fucking-with-people dynamics, haha. Regardless, if he is there at all, it's a very minor B plot, I think, 'cause this ain't about him, lol.

29 - Forced into Hiding

Achtung, baby, 2566 words of this are written! Lol. So uh, yeah. In short, AU where Klavier gets hounded by fans on the street while he's also having just a bad personal day, and the closest and best place he can think to hide from them is at the WAA. I, um, actually hadn't realized I'd written quite this much of this, haha, it was supposed to be short and fairly silly but then it turned into Klavier having a little bit of a panic attack maybe and getting consoled by Apollo, sure, of course, but then also having to deal with and experience some amount of closure / reach some kind of understanding with the Wrights, also. It's kind of part Klav character study, kind of part complaint against freaking Capcom for neglecting him (boo, I love him, stop ignoring him, or, yknow, worse, whatever the heck turnabout academy was supposed to do for him, which honestly almost felt like a step back to be quite honest). Okay, also, taking a slightly closer look at what I've already written, the REASON I'd thought I'd written way less than this is definitely because he hasn't even GOTTEN to the Agency yet, never mind spoken with any of its members, lmao. That would do it. In any case, I like the idea of Klavier having a bit of a vulnerable moment, and I also like the idea of him and Phoenix actually, like, talking for real, instead of, once again, whatever Turnabout Academy and DD was meant to tell me, which seems to be less than nothing. I kind of like the fact that it gave him a law mentor? I mean, she was very dead, but I have a very meaningful Use for her in later-to-be-announced-AUs-I-keep-teasing, haha. I of course considered other people and times when people in AA might be forced into hiding, but this felt like a silly but also meaningful way to do that without it just being an exploration of Miles and his not-suicide note (which wasn't exactly "forced" anyhow, he did that all on his own) or like, Zak Gramarye (who also completely did that to himself but w/e). Making it about Klavier completely escapes the bounds of canon, because canon is a weenie about talking about any of his actual feelings EVER, so screw you Capcom, I'm doing it for you. Don't worry about it. Trucy commiserating with him about still Loving someone, perhaps the very closest person biologically related to you you've ever known and depended on in your life, who not only did you very big harm personally but explicitly used you in a very real and participatory way to perpetuate the harm elsewhere and all the complexities about Feelings For And About Them Therein, and Phoenix somehow having enough self-awareness to recognize that shutting down completely and isolating yourself away doesn't actually do you any good even when you're at your lowest, and recognizing that Klavier doesn't exactly have a "Trucy" to be a focal point to draw him out of that, and that therefore he needs to be a bit more open to his peers. (Insert joke about "Well, I'm really definitely not suggesting you go adopt an entire child, that's really probably, uh, not the way to go, actually, but, you know. Everyone needs people, that just makes us human." Etc.)

30 - The Beginning of the World

So, hm, as it turns out, I got extremely sidetracked this day thinking about the next day on the docket. Whoops! Unfortunately this ultimately means my ideas for this day as of now are relatively uninspired: I had the thought that I could explore the beginning of Troupe Gramarye, which is its own sort of world, or else, maybe something about the beginning of the series itself but from the somewhat unconventional POV of a one Mr. Larry Butz. Yes, that's a bit self-serving in that it lends toward trying to complete a list of "main, recurring characters' POVs" that I've had as a sidequest all month, but, still. That said, just exploring actual canon through Larry's POV isn't exactly what I'd classify as an "AU" necessarily, so I feel like something would need to be different here. Okay, wait--not to draw inspiration a dang week late to the party, BUT. Now that I'm typing this up, I'm thinking, okay, maybe, what if. The "Beginning" of the series, technically speaking, is basically the fact that Phoenix gets put on (class) trial for stealing Miles' lunch money--which notably only happened because Larry himself picked it up when it fell on the floor. So, perhaps, what about an AU where he doesn't do that? I mean, I guess it would just turn the entire world of AA into something of a terrible series of tragedies with no real closure about them, lol, rip, but it could possibly be interesting? I dunno! (And, yes, I know DL-6 itself is more or less the basis of the series, if we're being ticky-tacky, but Phoenix wouldn't have been involved without meeting Miles, and that somewhat necessitates the class trial, and without him none of canon would get resolved, so. I will say, I do love going back to the earliest points to see how and how much you can make canon deviate or stay the same--reasonably speaking--via minor tweaks and butterfly effect and all that, so this could be interesting, although I once again must say I think it really just means a bunch of innocent people, Miles included, are going to be put away and possibly executed over murders that weren't their faults, lol. Hm. Much to consider.)

31 - Two(+) of the Above:

Beginning of the World + Younger/De-Aged + Canon Divergence (+ Feat. Jokers: Guardian, Everybody Lives)

With all of this, the ONLY prompts I've actually missed on this list become Animagus which I swapped for the Wings joker, and the last joker of the four, Thriller, which was never exactly a priority of mine because I'm not sure I'd write that sort of thing particularly well, so! Wild! Completionists everywhere almost rejoice, haha. SOOOOO. For the eagle-eyed readers out there, I'll bet you're just dying to know what this one AU I've been teasing all post could Possibly be to warrant such a build-up, right? (...Right?) The answer is the at-ow! (Phonetically, lol. I've been calling it that instead of out loud saying all the letters in AATTAU out loud every time.) My friend Ben can attest to the fact that this behemoth AU (her word which I'm stealing) has been in the works for, uhhhh... months?

MONTHS. AHAHA. Ha. That. Sure says March! It sure does! And it is not lying. Lmfao. (Ignore the time, I was working overnight then--my beloved work schedule whomst I miss dearly--so that's a perfectly reasonable discord-ing hour for March-me.) Also, once again, I'm choosing to blame Ben for my extensive AU problems, she sent me a very cute time loop AA fic that utterly destroyed my entire mind because it got the mere idea of "Time-based AU" caught in my endless void-idea-hole. So. Here's the real rub. The literal reason I started doing this AU-gust challenge in the freaking first place was that I was absolutely Desperate to find a way to overcome my writer's block. And one of the (admittedly many) reasons I wanted to do this was because I have been ITCHING to write this stupid behemoth AU for real. I have a massive outline doc already, I have a whole slew of scenes planned, I have lots of character archage, I have sooo many things I want to say and explore about them all you have No Idea. It's extremely self-indulgent and absolutely my personal magnum opus for all my very specific favorite AA headcanons and ideas and thoughts. And obviously, it worked! I did indeed overcome my writer's block! And I had so much fun doing it!! And I'll admit, from the very beginning, I had been eyeing that "Everybody Lives" joker prompt, because...that's it! That's basically the point of the AATTAU (Ace Attorney Time Travel Alternate Universe, if that wasn't clear, haha). I don't want to let myself get TOO into it, because Oh Boy, I sure will! If you let me! Haha. But basically the premise is EXACTLY what I stated in that very first discord message I could find about it. Maybe not so much "time travel" technically speaking than it is "gaining memories of everything that happened in canon right as the DL-6 earthquake happens", so it's more regression than actual time travel since they're in their own younger bodies and everything, but still. It's basically my excuse to treat canon like it did happen and YET allow for everybody to survive and for the very fun cocktail of traumas and joys that come from remembering what happened but having the chance for something different (and all the effort that goes into making something different happen in the first place).

Now, as far as AU-gust goes. I was obviously not about to even pretend I could remotely start this during August itself or justify connecting any of it to the series and the prompts I'd already written for it, lol, but I also couldn't get the idea out of my head, so I got it in my head I really wanted to end the month with SOMETHING that somehow tied into my AATTAU, if only to motivate myself to actually get on it and start writing out instead of solely outlining everything that's been in the works all these months. So to that end, I saw the "Everybody Lives" and the "Beginning of the World" prompts, and an idea came to me. I'd been dancing around the justification aspect of this AU for most of the time I've had it because let's be honest, it's just a very self-indulgent idea and it does not NEED "justification" to serve the purpose I want it to serve and be what I want it to be. But the AU-gust prompts gave me some actual inspiration and an Idea as to a way to solidify my unnecessary "justification" but in a way that it doesn't need to be directly part of the final product of the AATTAU (like, I could make it a separate one-shot and either just link it to and from the AATTAU fic itself, or if it all ends up being a series, then I could just include it in the series but it wouldn't be necessary to read to understand what's going on. And so, I present! The Ami Fey one-shot special I came up with just to fit these prompts :3 ...And by "i present" i mean, uh, I wrote 4k words of it on the 31st and didn't even come close to what I wanted to cover, because I suck at being concise. Lmfao. (Shocker.) Basically, I used Ami Fey as a semi-self-insert kind of godlike figure to reason out a semi-plausible way to make the concept I want to explore happen, happen. And I had a lot of fun, but I do still have a bunch to finish, but either way, I'm very pleased to have a (somewhat silly but ultimately fun for me) reasoning as to the gears ticking behind the scenes of my idea! To be somewhat less vague, the whole AU is predicated on the idea that, Phoenix and/or Miles (who remember from the beginning / from December 28th, 2001) meeting the other characters at-or-after the time they originally met in canon are able to recall their memories of the "original" (i.e. canon) timeline. I've used some magatama shenanigans to have some fun with this, and I'm now using Ami Fey and magatama shenanigans to explain how and why this is A Thing, even if it isn't necessarily the objectively most logically sound argument I've ever made. It's still a good one, in my book, and more importantly I like it, so that's all that really matters.

To briefly explain the "two" (by which I mean 5?) of the "above" I'm using here:

Beginning of the World: This fic specifically would show the beginning of the "world" of this AU specifically! Woohoo! Go Ami Fey, creating a whole new set of problems for our beloved little Guys to go through, hahaha. I think I may have based her character a little too much on Maya mischievousness, but, oh well. Let's just say that's where she gets it from.

Younger/De-Aged: As I've already kind of expressed, the premise of this AU is mostly just them being their own younger selves except they also have the memories of all of canon (and maybe a year or two after the fact, I need to confirm a couple dates).

Canon Divergence: I feel like this is decently self-explanatory, but then again maybe it's a bit cheesy to include this here, since it basically diverges from nearly the first major event of canon (DL-6), but that's not the only time things go almost-canonically but diverge a bit in some way, so I think it really does fit here.

Guardian: This one is a bit multi-fold. It somewhat refers to the way I'm making Gregory Edgeworth the de facto guardian (as in, legal guardian) of mostly everyone I possibly can because I love him and he would be great at it. But also, guardian in that, Mr. Savior Complex Phoenix Wright himself has literally all of the information at his disposal to try to "save" the potential Happy Lives of literally every person he loves, and, well. He does a pretty good job about it; not without cost, haha, but I feel like I can definitely call him a "guardian" of others in this AU. And, as for specifically the one-shot Ami fic, she is essentially the guardian of the entire Fey lineage, in this AU at least, so that also totally fits and is most immediately relevant.

Everybody Lives: I think this one is pretty self-explanatory at this point, lol. But for the one-shot: Ami is essentially trying to secure an "everybody lives" scenario, even if it hasn't been achieved yet, so it's more an aspiration at that point, but ultimately it is indeed successful. Now, "living" does not mean, like, "totally healthy" (mentally or physically), so there's lots more to it, but in short, yes, they live.

And......that's basically a wrap on that!

I mean, it isn't actually at all, since I still have to finish 26/31 fics, lmfao, but as far as the idea generation stage goes, and the use of the AU-gust prompts, that's what's up in my world! Somewhere out there maybe there's an AU of my actual real life where i finished more of these on time, but i'm still pretty pumped by all the work that's already been made on making so many AA fics a reality for me. I've come a long way since starting that first AA fic in 2018...!!

I still have all the aforementioned 26 fics to finish obviously, and I also have AU continuations planned for at the very least, day 2's colorless prompt and day 3's dark academia prompt (let alone day 31's, lol, but that's its own monster entirely), but I'm optimistic!

Thankfully I actually finished using nano to word track for me before they, you know, doubled down on AI and called everyone "abelist" (???) for not supporting it, which, uh. Well. But for my own posterity and if anyone's curious, here's what my word counts looked like throughout the month of AU-gust--admittedly including some planning and outlining:

It ended up being 51,377 words total in August on these AU prompts alone!

I feel like I wanted to say something poignant and meaningful at the end here, but it's almost 9:30 and I work at 4am tomorrow, so I'm going to go ahead and wrap this post up here, haha. If you read all of this, thank you very much for joining me on my little journey!

Once again, here is the Ao3 series where I'll post anything more that gets done, so if you'd like to see how any of these AUs turn out, feel free to keep an eye on that!

And here is the previous post with the 1st half+ of the AUs if you missed it and are interested now!

My copy arrived literally as I was writing this up so I've spent the last several prompts of this post listening to the AAIC soundtrack in the music collection, and, oh man, it's seriously so surreal this exists??? I might be an old fogey who has and will for an indeterminate amount of time continue to have trouble letting go of the fan translation names I've lived with for the past decade or whatever, but it's seriously so awesome the entire series is finally available internationally!! Let's hope for my sake AA7 doesn't come out before I finish any of my AATTAU, because that would really throw a bit of a wrench in my decision-making process, lol.

Bye for now!

[laylajeffany]

Hi! As you can probably guess, I completely love Chaos, and I have a few more questions. Thanks for the playlist by the way, it’s been all I’ve listened to since you linked it. Sorry for all the questions, I’m just curious.

1) In the Spotify playlist, the first song is “Sea, swallow me”. Is that song referenced somewhere in the fic, or does it just give off a general Chaos vibe? I’ve been trying to remember if it was mentioned somewhere but cant recall. As an additional Note, it is my new favourite song, so thanks!

2) You mentioned that all the OCs appearances are physically based on real people. Who are Dr Zypher, Emiliana and Holly-Jane based on? Is Emiliana based off of Eva Green, because thats how I imagine her. You’ve done an excellent job with the OCs, they’re just so perfect.

3) When you describe clothing, do you make them up in your mind or doe they actually exist? I get that some, like the custom ordered dresses in the latest chapter, must be made up, but are some of them real? Do you have some Pinterest board with all of their clothes just to keep track? 😂

4) How do you find time to write? I write 1000 words for my fic every day, and it takes me about an hour. 50K chapters in 2 weeks is a miracle. Do you sleep?

I’ve probably forgotten a question or two, so I hope you don’t mind if I ask more in the future😅

Thank you for all you do, I’ve never been so invested in a fic before. Just remember to relax and take breaks when you need it, don’t force yourself to write on 2 hours sleep!

I am happy to answer questions about Chaos for the Fly, the writing process, and other fic/writing related things. Thank you for your interest! 1. I think I referenced near the beginning somewhere that Wednesday had discovered some music on her own outside of classical when she accepted an algorithm to suggest songs for her. It had been 80s imports of some kind - and that was probably the one that I had in mind, even if it wasn’t mentioned specifically. There’s probably a few songs that weren’t actually mentioned by name but were alluded to in the fic - meaning I didn’t say the title in dialogue, but had something playing in the background for myself, and there you have it. 2. You have opened a VERY DANGEROUS can of worms with this question, lmfao.

You are a dead ringer for Emiliana! That’s Eva Green, 100%, the ONLY person who could play the role. It would be like a touch of Penny Dreadful for the out-of-her-damn-mind demon possession vibes, but mostly, just as herself (she’s cray and I love how socially awkward and accidentally funny she is in interviews) not so much Vanessa Ives. Eva Green has worked with Tim Burton a ton of times and wouldn’t even need a single line of direction in this role. Emi is SO easy to write because she is pure chaos both in physicality, mentally, her linguistics, her magic, and personality. I honestly think she’s one of the characters I’m saddest isn’t real because she’d fit in to drive Wednesday absolutely MAD as her big bird. I have a feeling we’re not going to explore Raven lore in S2 and the two of them trying to figure out their powers together, after Emiliana spent half her life suffering alone, has been some of my favorite parts of the fic to write. I always write scenes with Emiliana the fastest. Her love of Beanie Babies and bad influence is entirely, too much fun. Her voice is so easy and she will never truly understand American idioms. 

Dr. Zypher is AMY ADAMS, because GAY-ME, for Amy Adams. She’d absolutely crush the role, the fact that she doesn’t have a closet full of Oscars is just despicable (6 time nominee bro). SHE HAS THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL and I don’t think anyone ever lets her sing enough in movies. Put this woman in some broadway revival of an old musical and you’ll catch me personally saving the economy from collapse by taking the train up to see her every weekend. She's so adaptable and different in any role, and I just feel like she’d volley SO WELL with JO’s Wednesday. She's a professional who understands character layers that sweet and angsty Josie requires.

Dr. Holly is Emily Blunt plucked right from the Jungle Cruise movie in terms of how she’s styled but a far cry from her character there with her boldness - even if they would likely have competing career ambitions. ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN EMILY BLUNT IN ALL THE SUITS IN THE NEW NETFLIX PAIN HUSTLER MOVIE? I’m deceased. This is a ghost writing. Holly is really in the story 1) because I needed a plot line for Larissa, post-transformation, that didn’t involve Wednesday and was TRAGIC but beautiful and could GO SOMEWHERE, and2) we REALLY do need something to stabilize the molecular structure of shifting-type Outcasts, and 3) it helped give some context as to how desperate Larissa was to hire Normie "Thornhill" and why she took that chance against her usually better judgement- so there she was! Emily Blunt is a CLASS. ACT. In everything she does and I imagine her in a scene with Gwendoline COULD NEVER exist because it would be too powerful, solve all the world’s problems, and capitalism would break, societies would collapse. It could never happen. It wouldn’t be safe. Here’s her glow up, from fresh-out-of-the jungle, to letting Larissa buy her some new clothes and maybe letting her hair down every now and then, to nerdy botanist bombshell, at the New Nevermore Network, helping her girl rebuild things to be a more fair society for Outcasts. GORGE. 

ARE THESE ALL JUST WOMEN IN THEIR MID 40s THAT I HAVE A BIG LESBIAN CRUSH ON? YEAH, YEAH THEY ARE. There’s obviously more for staff at Nevermore and the Network but I have a solid 5k to get to writing still this evening. The rest of my OCs are pretty minor (well villain aside), and I don’t really care enough about any man to spend the time looking for pictures of /boys/. These are the 3 OCs that are featured the most, anyway. Some day I’ll find enough energy to do the rest. I have extreme face-blindness when I read, and the ONLY WAY I can thusly write an OC is if my beta makes a powerpoint presentation for me with an actor/ress in mind for me to visualize in the role. When I tell ya, she hit the nail on the head with those three above? Unbelievable.  Another favorite not-OC, but someone I HARDCORE RECASTED FOR THIS would be Granny Frump. We went from Margaret Hamilton (OG Wicked Witch of the West from Wizard of Oz) in the 1960s Addams Family, which is EXCELLENT CASTING, but to fit the more modern-era Wednesday 2022 adaptation, and to give a flair of the drama as to perhaps where Morticia “gets it from,” I decided to cast someone only two years older than Catherine Zeta-Jones to give that “Frump Homespun Magic” storyline some weight of ‘the potions and beauty charms work’ and went with a non-actress, for the aesthetics (though she could KILL IT her appearances are small), and that is the one and only, What Not To Wear’s Stacy London.

Like IMAGINE that matching vibe with CZJ’s Morticia? Stacy has similar build/some features in common, and with the all black hair BUT WITH HER SIGNATURE gray stripe? Iconic. (And that was also Grandpa “Clint’s” backstory last chapter, as in Stacy and Clinton’s dramatic saga. HEY - IF YOU DONT HAVE INSIDE JOKES WITH YOUR BETA in your writing, what’s the point??) Stacy’s voice and CZJ’s Morticia voice together would be SO GRATING and Wednesday would just be so in-her-element between them, I LIVE.  3. I usually just visualize what I’d want the characters to wear! I don’t often have picture inspiration - though sometimes I am writing and it says in bold highlight DESCRIBE THE DRESS - TRACEY FIND ME A DRESS, and she sends me some pictures to go through so I can just describe a garment without having to make it up. I don’t have a Pinterest I’d be willing to share. It’s just a binder full of women in a way that would probably unsettle most. 

4. I usually write about 2-2.5k an hour if that is all I’m focused on. I probably average 4-9k on a work day without a second job or social obligation after work, and the most I’ve ever written on a single day that I had no work, other ‘sponserbilities, or social plans was 21k. On an average weekend with like one thing to do during the day and some chores and relaxation time not writing, I probably go around 14-16k per day. At the same time I started this fic, I set a new year resolution to myself to only work my contracted hours, so with the exception of a few crazy times in the school year - like conferences - I work from 8:00-15:30 M-F, and I live a three minute walk from my school, so I don’t even lose time commuting. I also stopped working on weekday evenings on the side in August, and starting in 2024 will not be doing any extra side work at all. I don’t sleep great but I do try! :) Thanks for the questions! I've been meaning to give some faces to those 3 OCs. I strongly encourage you to print out pictures of them and post them on your fridge, you will be 100% happier if you do.

[decaflondonfog]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💜

omg hi this is so kind!!! thank you <3

well. i don't have thaaaaat many fics (says the girl who has like +60 fics under a different name fdjhghj) but this is still kind of hard!

growing pains (check please!, bitty/parse, rated e, 50k)

both like on the creating side of things, and in a final product sense, this is probably one of the things i've written i am most proud of. 50k is no joke. it just took over sooooooo much of my life, and i still think about them every day.

what are they up to? are they happy? is jack happy? is bitty's book super popular? has he met kent's sisters and nieces? their story was just... ugh. so so so important to me and felt so good to write despite the angsty bits and was also FUN. i had not had that much fun writing in such a long time!!

2. savage natures (aftg, mary hatford character study with a side of andreil, rated m, 6k)

my first aftg fic! it's funny because this would be a much different fic if i'd written it now (i'd be less of a coward and i wouldn't bother with the andreil plotline. i need more mary. alas.) but i'm still really proud of it and love it so, so dearly. i don't usually write 1st person pov but i really love the voice i gave mary here!!

3. geometric equilibrium (aftg, kandreil rated m, 10k)

canon compliant kandreil? i wanted to read it so i wrote it. this was the first fic idea i had after i read the books, even though i ended up posting savage natures first. it was really scary trying to get their voices right and jumping from pov to pov, but it was super self indulgent and i'm proud of it.

4. celly (aftg, ?? the pairing is whatever you want, rated t, 800 words)

i wasn't going to include this because it's only a ficlet but by god i love it. i was writing a different thing that day and had been studying exy rules for ages and then a pal filled my head with images of kevin being climbed like a tree and this was born! it's fun! go sports!!

5. a wreath of white lilies (aftg, kevin/allison, rated very e, 4k)

valentine's day funeral smut!!!!! WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? i love writing unhinged shit like this. 10/10 would rec as a writing experience, everyone should go nuts every once in a while. it's good 4 u

[evendale]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged in this by the lovely @once-in-a-blue-moon-rising. Thank you! 😊 It's nice to revisit my fics, it's been a while.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

23

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

1,014,041 words. Yikes 😂

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Most of my works are in the La Casa de Papél fandom. Before that, I was in the Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries fandom. I also have a handful of ficlets in the fandom for the Stormlight Archive books by Brandon Sanderson.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My top 5 fics by kudos are all in the LCDP fandom, and they're all +100k words.

Number one is 'The White Queen', a Regency romance AU. It's got almost double the amount of kudos than the second-highest fic.

'Personal Relationships', a canon-compliant AU.

'Back to Galicia', a movie star second chance AU.

'Safe House', a witness protection program AU.

'Tell Me What You Like', a collection of canon 'fill the gap' smutty scenes.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to 😅 I used to love spending a lot of time writing elaborate and personal responses to comments, and I in fact met several of my best fandom friends through comment conversations! However, over time I just simply didn't have the energy for it anymore. There are still a bunch of super lovely comments on the last chapter of my last fic that I really should have responded to, but I simply don't have the mental space. I do feel bad about that 🙈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angsty endings. I love angst in the main fic, but I'm committed to HEAs :)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably 'The White Queen', where I spent about 50k words describing just how happy they were 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've had a few nasty comments, but they're absolutely nothing compared to the vast sea of incredibly kind, lovely, and supportive comments I've gotten. I've been very lucky.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

My earlier work is almost entirely smut 😂 It's funny to see my later fics evolving into containing more and more plot, and less and less smut. I wonder how my readers felt about that 😂 The smut is explicit, but I've always tried to keep it tasteful.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written any crossovers yet. I'm usually obsessed with only one piece of media at a time :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes -- I discovered a few years ago that one of my LCDP fics had been stolen and put on Amazon for money! It took ages to explain things to Amazon (because I didn't own the characters) and to get it taken down. It was a very icky feeling.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had several requests from people who wanted to translate my fics into Russian :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I could. I love to brainstorm about plot with a friend or beta reader, but I couldn't actually share the writing process. I'm too much of a control freak 😅

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

If we're only looking at the first 2 seasons of LCDP, then Serquel. However, the subsequent seasons partially ruined them for me, so maybe I'd better choose Phryne and Jack from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My only unfinished fic on AO3 is 'Tell Me What You Love' in the LCDP fandom, but that's more a series of vignettes that I kept open in case I wanted to add more. It wasn't really meant to have an ending. That said, I don't think I'll ever add to it anymore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, I think. I also think in general I'm a clear writer who gets to the point without too many flourishes or detours.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

For a long time, I felt like I couldn't come up with any kind of original plot, but I think I got better at that over time. I'm still pretty bad at descriptions, though. I just want to get to the action and dialogue, and I forget that my readers are not in my head and can't see the characters or surroundings like I do :D

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wouldn't include more than a few words of phrases sprinkled through the dialogue.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. I was all of 26 when I first discovered fanfiction!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

That's such a tough choice 😅😅 If I absolutely have to choose, then I think 'The White Queen'. I was really just writing the exact fic that I wanted to read myself with that one. I had so much fun with it, I was so inspired that the chapters literally flowed out without any effort, and I got the most amazing response to it from the fandom. It will always be extra special to me 😊

I'm not tagging anyone in particular, but if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged! :)

[abbyindenhaag]

A quick note from Lisbon

Revisiting Lisbon for a work trip and wanted to share some impressions!

1. My taxi driver from the airport said that typically companies spend 1,500 euros per month on a worker’s wages but the worker only sees 800 euros because of taxes. I was shocked to find from Wikipedia that this is mostly true, and much lower than in the US: Portugal’s average gross salary is 1450/month and net salary is 1200/month, while in the US average gross salary is $5,400/month and net is $4,000/month. (We are ignoring exchange rates bc atm a dollar is about a euro.) I knew things were cheaper in Portugal but I didn’t realize average wages were 3x less! I do wonder about medians though. I also didn’t point out that Portugal had a national health system and, presumably, a lot of other social safety net benefits that would increase consumption if not income.

(Other notable things about the conversation were that the taxi driver advocated helping others as a personal belief system but also said there were too many immigrants taking jobs and housing in Portugal — I refrained from citing the economics literature finding that actually immigrants raise native earnings — and that the taxi driver complained both about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, but didn’t really agree with me that having a bigger difference between taxes on the rich and poor would fix it. I am not a development economist or a macroeconomist so I don’t necessarily think he is wrong on that point — but just noting.)

(Other notable taxi driver conversation was that my taxi driver *to* the airport -- Logan -- said he was from Tajikistan and won a diversity lottery to get a green card. I had forgotten that this program exists - it apparently awards up to 50k visas per year, which is like nothing, and has a 1/200 acceptance rate. The funny thing is that he won this lottery and then went straight to Springfield, MA, of all places, and was stuck there for the duration of Covid. Real out of the frying pan into the fire situation. His main complaint about Springfield was it was a bad place to be single, lol.)

2. When I walked out of my hotel after dropping off my bags, despite it being in a nice ish area my first 2 thoughts were: graffiti on walls. Smells like piss. Did I remember wrong?? But then once I got over the graffiti and moved to a less fragrant patch of sidewalk the “faded grandeur” of the city became more apparent. All the travel guides (well, Rick Steves and the NYT) had this same narrative of Lisbon being “where the crumbling remnants of a grand civilization sit side by side with the energy of the new growth” which felt rather stereotypical, and I actually peaced out of the Rick Steves audio tour because I wanted to see the city for myself rather than be told how to see it. But unfortunately,…. They were kind of right. Crumbly facades, broken-up sidewalks, new buildings, American-bougie brunch places… this place has it all, often right next to each other. I walked down a street (NYT-recommended, sigh) and it was like half antique stores full of probably junk and half expensive boutiques.

3. Speaking of which, I think for every hairdresser in Bergen there is an antique store in Lisbon. Who is buying this stuff?? The tourists certainly can’t take all of it home. <a moment of self-awareness descends from above. angels sing> oh. People who live here. Who don’t make a lot of money. As in point 1. Not everything is about you, Abigail!! Anyway it is nice to see things being reused instead of thrown out.

4. I saw at least 3 shops with a sign in the window saying they were on lunch break and would be back later. The American brain cannot comprehend this. What do you mean you haven’t hired someone to sell something at a time when people are around to buy it?!? (This is supporting evidence for my taxi driver’s statement that in Portugal people have different priorities than in the US, and they are just more relaxed. I have no stance on the matter, just reporting.)

5. Shops where I wanted to buy things but didn’t included a wool store with lots of beautiful merino blankets, and a ceramic store with lots of nice little bowls. Shops where I wanted to buy things and did were a pastry shop where I got a pasteis de nata (actually 2), and a strawberry cart in the real-people part of the city that was selling strawberries that smelled amazing for 4euros/kg. Unfortunately the two I ate ended up being overripe so I might not even eat any more but the joy of the purchase may still have been worth it.

This falls into the category of “shops I didn’t want to buy anything at but am glad they exist.”

Long snoots standing guard in antique shop #562.

The window of the wool shop. Would that the window wool were wmine!

The jacaranda are out and incredibly scenic!

The facade of a museum of a beloved fado singer, which I did not visit. I might go on Saturday night to hear a performance, not sure. But the scooter in the foreground was too Lisbon-y to resist the shot.

[mprimn]

It has been 3 days since I arrived in Japan.

They wouldn't allow students to enter the dorm until a specific date, so I flew on the day before as I didn't want to spend money on hotels. It was a late-night flight so it was mostly peaceful, except that one toddler in the far front who cried from time to time.

A girl in front of me decided to watch 2005 version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory so I just watched from her screen the whole flight. There were so many details and scenes that I have forgotten because I saw the movie when I was very young.

The flight attendants kept mistaking me and the Japanese lady's nationality during service which I found quite funny. They thought the Japanese lady was from my country, but when they realized she wasn't they somehow assumed I was also Japanese. I replied to them in Japanese anyway because why not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When the plane landed it started raining, making the temperature a lot cooler than I expected. The immigration process took so long that once I got out of the airport I only have a few hours left to travel to the appointed destination. I went down to the train, but the ticket booth was super crowded that I'd have to wait for another train for almost an hour. The bus had only 1 trip per day to my destination won't be coming soon, so I bit the bullet and got on a taxi.

There is a reason why Japanese people avoid taxis.

The service was top notch, but it came with a price.

A ridiculously expensive one.

(And that I also told the driver to take the fastest route, so it costed even higher)

Dear my parents, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry I spent 50k yen on 2 and a half hour ride from Narita to Mito. I will make sure to find a part time job once I know of my study schedule.

After reaching the destination, I paid the driver with my credit card so I signed the receipt with my signature in my language.

Apparently, that's when the driver realized I'm a foreigner.

He seemed shocked and amazed because after apologizing (I asked him to repeat something, but he didn't make it sound easier to understand so I just nodded), he complimented my accent saying how natural it was.

It may have something to do with my appearance too since I'm Asian. Even the local students at the dorm said I look like a Japanese. It was kind of fun at first, but I'm starting to feel like it's more of a debuff because instead of yasashii nihongo, I will be hit with normal level speech that can be very hard to listen.

In the evening of the first day, me and other 2 students from my country went to 3 different supermarkets to find items for our dorm. They even rode bicycles to a Donki far deep in the city to buy pillows (only mattress is provided in the dorm), utensils, and so much more. There were only 2 bicycles available so I just waited for them at the lounge, praying for their safety because one said they almost crashed into a car.

The two bought lots of ingredients to cook food on their own while I mostly bought instant meals. I don't feel like cooking because I'll have to wash the dishes, so I bought different food and put them together.

Personally, I think it turned out great.

The students from my country came from the same university and one is a classmate of mine. They are a cheerful person and a socializer. They probably befriended most of the exchange students already at this point. Thanks to them introducing me to others, I was able to talk and make friends with more people. Everyone was really kind. Some students' Japanese or English skills might not be very strong, but nothing can stop any of them from having fun together.

Tomorrow after sending in our documents at the City Hall, the exchange students are planning to have a barbeque party. I also heard another party will be held after too. It hasn't been a week, yet everyone seemed to close to each other. From a view of someone who's socially awkward, I find that fascinating.

I hope to get to know more of everyone soon.

[holycafe]

FIRST LINE OF YOUR LAST 20 STORIES!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line.

I can’t remember who tagged me sorry, I lost the post, but here it is!

20 - Falling Fast (Coldflash, 17.5k) When Barry woke up from his coma, it was to a new world.

19 - You Stole My Heart (Coldflash, 45.6k) Barry felt empty.

18 - Commander Cold (Coldflash, 9.6k) Barry was not having a good day.

17 - Waverider Blues (Coldflash, 5.3k) “Leonard Snart was pensive and quiet as he read his book in his room and tried to block out the world around him...“

16 - I Think I Love You (Coldflash, 3k) When a metahuman teenager played a prank on half of the police precinct, it had almost been a blessing in disguise for Barry.

15 - Not a Hero (Coldflash, 14k) Barry meticulously fiddled with his hair.

14 - Trick or Treat (Coldflash, 107k) Len was ecstatic: he’d faced up against a speedster and won.

13 - Love me Do (Sterek, 4.4k) “Derek, you’re my everything...”

12 - Breathing Deep (Coldflash, 1.7k) This… was not an ideal situation.

11 - Bridge Over Troubled Water (Coldflash, 8.9k) When Len woke up after the explosion, his first thought was that he needed to get a message to his team.

10 - Untitled Powerswap ficlet (Coldflash, 2.8k) “Snart!” Barry shouted, gaining the thief’s attention.

9 - Just Friends (Coldflash, 168k+ WIP) The first time that Barry stumbled into a Rogues meeting had been an accident.

8 - I’ve Seen the Light (Destiel, 1.7k) “So, Jack did all that?” Dean asked, an equal amount of pride and regret swirling around in his head.

7 - Priceless (Coldflash, 5.9k) “I think you forgot to pay for those,” the Flash called, announcing his entrance into the jewellery store that Len was currently robbing.

6 - One and Only (Coldflash, 50k) Everything was going to plan.

5 - Just for One Night (Coldflash, 55k) The first time that Leonard Snart and Barry Allen slept together was entirely unplanned.

4 - Chapel of Love (Destiel, 13.4k) “Do I look like a painted whore to you?” Dean protested as Charlie neared him with a makeup brush. 

3 - Thank You (Destiel, 1.7k) The last two months had flown by.

2 - Fastest Way to Your Heart (Coldflash, 15.3k) 30… 29… 28…

1 - Happy Freakin' Halloween (Coldflash, 4.1k) “Your fake fangs ended up where?!” Barry demanded, thinking surely he had misheard because there was no way that Cisco could be so stupid.

Hmm, I guess I generally do a lot of scene setting with the first line.

I think my favourite is number 17 when read in-context (is it bad I find my own jokes funny?), though number 12 and 6 are probably the best for a stand-alone hook.

tagging @nixie-deangel @icefire149 @sinnabonka @kitkatt0430 @wishbonewriting @sproutwings

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

so i’ve been reading a lot of post season 8 JH fics and my heart literally hurts from all the angst. do you have any recommendations for more happy and fluffy multi chapter fics??

PS. I keep rereading TSG for the family cuteness

There's nothing I love more than family cuteness, man. I'm glad you like TSG so much!!

And I get you 😭😭😭 There are some J/H fics where the angst is downright cruel to us.

Whenever the angst gets too much for me, I take a small break and read a fluffy one-shot or a chapter of s8 redo (my comfort fic), and it always makes me feel better!

Anyway, here's a list with all the fluffy multichapter stories that make me swoon:

Catch The Bouquet by heatherlea75 (post s8):

It's a post s8 fic, but I promise you it's fluffy as hell. Trust me.

Fate has been unkind to Jackie Burkhart for too long. She has a plan to change that, and to obtain what is rightfully hers a glorious wedding. Though she doesn’t know it, she needs a little help, and a surprising person is perfectly willing to offer it.

This story is complete, and it has an adorable sequel, called Pop The Question.

6k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Escaping The Friendzone by KayRight (AU canon divergence):

Jackie doesn’t take Kelso back at their prom. Instead, she starts an odd friendship with Hyde. They both want more but the only problem is he thinks she’s on the rebound and she thinks he’s not interested.

This story is complete.

73k words, 23 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

Everything Works If You Let It by Ultrawoman (AU canon divergence):

Jackie and Hyde pretty much hated each other from the get go, and yet he still agreed to take her to Prom. Kelso was unable to win Jackie back that night, and everything changed between the rich cheerleader and the Zen Master. S1 rewritten from ‘Prom Night’.

This story is complete and it’s SO CUTE.

60k words, 23 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Focus by Jenny7 (AU):

After a metaphysical awakening, Hyde develops the ability to telepathically connect with a single stranger. What he doesn’t expect is that the girl that he shares the connection with, a rich cheerleader with a complicated past, will forever alter his views on life and love.

SO GOOD. It’s complete and it has a sequel (that’s not complete but still worth the read), called Darlin, Walk Awhile With Me.

2k words, 19 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde.

It Must Be Love by That-Maria-Girl (missing scenes):

What happened after the Valentine’s dance.

4k words, 2 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Mistaken Messages by MistyMountainHop (soulmate AU):

Slightly angsty at first because Jackie and Hyde are dumbasses, but at the same time it's so fluffy, ugh. This is probably my favorite soulmate story ever.

Jackie longs for her soulmate to accept her, and Hyde hopes his will leave him alone because he’s in love with someone else. A stack of mystical index cards lets them communicate with their as-yet unidentified soulmates. But the more their soulmates write, the less control Jackie and Hyde seem to have over their fate.

This story is complete.

23k words, 5 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Also Available on AO3

New York, New York by Shabbuuu (AU canon divergence):

This one is also on my top favorite stories of all time, do yourself a favor and read this, it’s amazing.

What if Hyde did go to New York City with Chrissy? It’s 1981 and Jackie has just moved to NYC for a job. What happens when she runs into a familiar face at a bar?

This story is complete.

40k words, 38 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Of All Things Creepy and Unnatural by CaedanceLaura (AU canon divergence):

Also on my top favorites, lol. I can’t help myself, I really love AU’s.

What if Donna and Eric hadn’t found out about Hyde and Jackie? Hyde and Jackie manage to keep their relationship a secret for much longer. How will this change the development of their relationship without having their friends lack of support and ridicule in the beginning?

Not complete, but it ends in a nice place. No cliffhangers here.

56k words, 16 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

One Difference: Hyde Goes to Kelso’s Ice Shack by MistyMountainHop (AU canon divergence):

Kelso plans to get Jackie back by taking her to his uncle’s “fabulous” cabin in the woods. He has everything in place—the right lie, the right couple to emulate—but an unexpected variable threatens to dismantle his scheme: Steven Hyde.

This story is complete.

21k words, 5 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Season 8 redo by tanith75 (s7 fix-it):

This is the most famous story of the fandom for a reason.

The story starts after the s7ep21 episode, so there’s no Chicago problems or people going to Africa over here :) It’s amazingly written, it’s funny as hell, and it honestly feels like I’m watching an episode of the show when I’m reading it. It’s amazing, it’s what should’ve happened in the show.

This story is not complete, but please, don’t let this stop you from reading it.

293k words, 42 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Red/Kitty, Fez/Laurie, Kelso/Brooke

Stuck With You by nannygirl (post s8, Christmas fic):

Christmas 1980 with the Formans, just like any other Christmas right? Not exactly. Find out what makes this Christmas so memorable. It’s a story about the whole family!

This story is complete (and it’s one of my favs).

50k words, 21 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Red/Kitty, Fez/?

That 70s show by Zenmaster21 (AU):

What if Jackie had dated Hyde from the beginning instead of Kelso? This is simply a re-write of the episodes had Jackie and Hyde always been together.

One of my favorites stories from the entire fandom.

Not complete, but please read it, it’s worth it.

Trigger warning for child abuse.

152k words, 37 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

The Love I Need by myboygeorge (missing scenes):

Everyone knows when Jackie and Hyde first hooked up. But when did they become lovers? Set as an extension of Season 5’s ‘Over the Hills and Far Away’.

3k words, 3 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One Where Jackie Moves In by Floweerchild96 (AU):

Jackie has been living in New-York with her family but after her father goes to jail and her mother abandons her, she is forced to return to a town she thought she was done with for good. How will Jackie’s reemergence in the basement effect the gangs lives?

A really good story, but unfortunately, it’s not complete. Still worth the read.

103k words, 20 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

You Can’t Hurry Love by holeygeorge (post s8, Christmas fic):

It’s 1983, the gang is getting ready for Christmas and the New Years.

Not complete, but extremely fluffy.

40k words, 16 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I know you asked only for multi chapter fics, but if you're feeling like reading some fluffy one-shots, I highly recommend for you to check out springsteenicous profile on AO3. Their one-shots are so cute that I literally blush when I'm reading them.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Do you have any tips for people who are trying to discovery write for the first time? I really want to try it to see if it would work for me but it kinda intimidates me haha

The short answer would be to write through the discomfort and assess as you go if this process is right for you (because this so varies by writer). Discovery writing at its core suggests writing with minimal or no plan, so diving in headfirst can be a great way to break through the process.

Some practical tips are:

1. Start with a diving board

This can be an image, or a relationship, or a scenario or a first line that you write from. Photo prompts could be helpful for this (I like to browse Unsplash or another favourite stock photo site for this), or prompt generators.

My caution here is that it can get easy to over plan even these tiny tidbits. For example, though I’ve only ever been a Pantser, when I tried to pants my very first short story, I spent weeks coming up with a concept, characters, etc, basically brainstorming outline points. The reason this story went nowhere is a) of course because I’d never written short fiction before but b) because I was literally working AGAINST the process. Which is why it could be helpful to note that:

2. Discovery writing/pantsing intrinsically calls for spontaneity.

You don’t have as much of this when you write off an outline (which is why outlining works better for some - spontaneity is not needed). This is kind of where I get a little philosophical, and maybe a little controversial (and noting this is not a blanket statement). The process you write with may mirror the type of person you are/how you usually approach work and life. This is why I find it a little funny when people preach outlining is the only way to write a book?? Like ok I guess there is only one type of person in the world?? But I digress!

Because of its spontaneous nature, pantsing can be intimidating. I think acceptance of the process’ inclination toward spontaneity, though theoretical, might help! If you’re not someone who likes this/functions better through a different framework, discovery writing may not be the way to go.

3. Meet in the middle (plantsing)

If you’re super nervous to give it a go which is so understandable, I might recommend meeting in the middle with a plantsing method, so perhaps brainstorming the characters and conflict FIRST (and maybe even one plot point to bounce off of or lead up to). This might be particularly helpful if you come from a strong outlining background and could be a less jarring way to transition between processes.

4. You can still plan a little!

Kind of a spinoff of the above point: discovery writing to me doesn’t mean you have zero ideas going into a story, which may help misspell some of the intimidation. I made a video years ago on misconceptions of Pantsing that might be helpful which you can watch HERE. Re: plantsing above. I guess that’s why discovery writing is a better term than Pantsing - this process is less about flying by the seat of your pants (which makes the writer seem inactive but more about wading through a story one line at a time, interrogating many elements as you go: your character, their relationships, and their current scenario, all of which lead to some inevitability. It really is an excavation and if you feel you need to start with a few prepared tools rather than your bare hands, that’s the way to go!

My writing process for short fiction often looks impulsive, and it often is, where a story will come out of nowhere and voila it is on the page. However some stories need more time to marinate, and so I’ll naturally sort of outline them as they sit on the page/as I think about them. So you definitely don’t have to write out of nowhere if that’s intimidating.

5. Start brief

I imagine going from outlining a novel to Pantsing it can be kind of terrifying! But a flash fiction piece? Or short story? That’s a much smaller space you can experiment with. This way, the shorter piece can help you guide yourself through the story.

6. The differences of each process & how to collaborate with one or both

IMO, this is the difference between pantsing and outlining: pantsing = being the tourist, not necessarily certain where you’re going next (but still being an active participant in the tour) and outlining is being the tour guide.

Pantsing is great because you discover as you go, which is why trying to go in without overplanning is often helpful. When you think about it, outlining is the same process as pantsing except you discover before you write the book, so in essence, the processes are the exact same--outlining is just an additional step that gives you a tool to use while drafting. Looking at the processes in this way may help in sort of breaking them down and making them less scary to look at. I’m not sure I know many pantsers who write 50k word novels without ever thinking about what will happen, nor do I know outliners who won’t change a word of their outline--both processes can sort of dip into each other, which is super fun!

7. Clarifying writer logic versus writer instinct:

Pantsing, IMO, relies on writer instincts. As you parse a story, you make decisions and immediately apply them based off that instinct. Logic becomes more subtextual and clarifies once the story or scene is over. Outlining on the other hand calls upon writer logic since you’ve used your instincts making the outline. It’s more application based--you’ve made the decision, and now you use your logic to apply those decisions.

This is where I might suggest:

8. Writing sprints

Doing a quick sprint could be a great way to shift away from a mindset of outlining as it encourages you to write whatever comes to mind since you have a clock ticking. Writing sprints may propel you to call upon your writer instincts rather than writer logic, which I think is an important shift when trying a new process (probably why I always fail at outlining lol)!

I hope this helps! I’ll probably make a video about this topic and try to go more in depth on these points since this is a fascinating discussion!

[vampyroteuthid]

tagged by @isaactheram ty <3

1. why did you choose your url?

obsessed with the california quail (Callipepla californica my most dearly beloved)

2. any side blogs?

ya i got my crazy religious crisis blog and a private one for being mentally ill on <3

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

this blog was made in 2013 but for whatever reason i would hang around and like stalk blogs for a while before i made an account so it's been about 10 years. god

4. do you have a queue tag?

uhh i used to use one when i used the queue function years ago but i never use that now so no. no planning or moderate amount of posting here

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

yikes uhh i think because i liked doctor who (and bbc sh*rlock but less so) and also because i was a wildly isolated "homeschooled" teenager with problems

6. why did you choose your icon?

it's him the California Quail that i drew to celebrate finally getting photoshop from a funny link on the internet

7. why did you choose your header?

it's graffiti that says "wash your hands or else" that i took a picture of in petaluma ca when we had to evacuate from wildfires in august 2020! i thought it was funny and appropriate. that was such a time i never ever want to do that again

8. what's your post with the most notes?

definitely the one about native flora and fauna where you grew up, i think it's approaching 50k. there have been remarkably few idiots in the notes but i still don't care to have any more popular posts

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i have no idea like at least 10-15 that i interact with regularly but i have some that are mutuals on side but not main so i really don't know

10. how many followers do you have?

346 on this blog but it's so old that a majority of those are probably long since inactive lmao. 5 times that on side which is weird and strange to me even though it's still not that many

11. how many ppl do you follow?

1079 but again definitely a lot inactive because i've never gone through that

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

all day every day. what kind of question is this

13. how many times do you use tumblr a day?

now we don't need to get into that...it's the only social media i really use, i check facebook once or twice a day because i'm in a lot of educational and job finding groups and instagram like twice a month to look at tattoos and rocks but this is mostly it. unfortunately

14. have you ever had a fight with another blog?

i've had people leave snarky comments at me a few times but no not really. i'm extremely conflict avoidant lmao and also what's the point

15. how do you feel about need to rb posts?

like the guilt trip ones? they annoy the shit out of me, i don't go on the internet to be guilt tripped

16. do you like tag games?

yes :] i do sometimes get tagged in them and forget to do them though or by the point i remember it would be weird lmao so very sorry if i have done that to you

17. do you like ask games?

yes sending and receiving asks feels like breaching my containment bubble it's quite thrilling

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

depends on the circles you run in i suppose but @givemearmstopraywith idk how they do it.....

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

uhhh like friend crushes perhaps? it would be very strange to me to have an actual romantic crush on a person i've never met though

20. tags

@asteriim @euphcme @palaeolithicc @not-todd86 @faustic-trobairitz if yall want!

[dcomicsficrecs]

Do you have any fics with Jason just being a Bro™️? Or any with him rejoining the family after UTRH?

For the sake of this post not being too long, I am going to rec only one fic or series from an author, but all of these authors are great writers so I recommend checking their other works as well. Hope you will enjoy this fics as much as I do!

1. Jason and Damian being bros

1.1 Bet on it by Lysical  

Even Damian could admit that his older siblings occasionally had their uses. __

"I need your assistance," Damian said, voice low and tense.

"No," Jason replied, and hung up.

Short but adorable story of Jason helping out Damian to hide something from their father, just like big brothers out to do.

1.2 Cracked Foundation by Cdelphiki    

The last thing Damian expected to happen when he ran away from home was to spend a day crammed into a small space with Jason Todd.  His father's second son was a black sheep.  An outcast.  An angry, insanity driven criminal who enjoyed screwing with the batfamily in every way he could. At least, that's what Damian thought.  Maybe he was wrong about Todd.

Perfect hurt/comfort with a lot of family feels and Damian and Jason bodning. Bonus points: Jason actually apologizing for shooting him; exploration of Bruce’s relationships with them both too.

1.3   Good Grief by lysiabeth                

“I know who you are, you know. I got my degree at GCU.” The girl says, eyes boring into Jason’s chest as if the red bat were still plastered on it, and Jason’s back stiffens.

“Right.” Jason’s teeth click together as he closes his mouth. He’s eighteen-hundred miles out from Gotham, and of all the Goddamn vet centres he could have broken into it’s probably the only one around that knows anything about his city.

WIP with 8K words so far but worth early reading and bookmarking/subscribing. Case fic, plus Damian and Jason bonding as siblings through Talia? Leviathan also plays a part in this story? Hell yeah.

1.4 Jason and the Three Terrors by Cdelphiki                

One moment, Jason was peacefully sleeping, perfectly content with his life with the League of Assassins.  Okay, so maybe not content content, but he wasn't unhappy, either.  Then Talia woke him up at 2 am, threw three children at him, and told him to get them to America and far away from Ra's al Ghul.

What the fuck.

The last thing he wanted was to see Bruce. But with three brats relying on him and no Talia, there weren't many options for sanctuary. He just didn't expect the kids to grow on him so much in two short weeks.

A superb AU where Jason helps Damian escape League of the Assassin (against his wishes and with two unwanted additions to boot, which is half the pleausure). They aren’t brothers, stictly speaking, at the start of the fic, but become them as the story progresses.

It’s a WIP but it has 50K already and it will be so much more. I am excited with every update and I’m sure you’re gonna be, too.

2. Jason being a brother to Cassandra

2.1 Nests and Cages series by LanternWisp, Lysical starting with Needles or Pins  

Jason Todd's journey back to the Batfamily. Takes place in the Frankenstein's monster of a canon I've stitched together. Each plot is rather self-contained, but the fics do flow into one another

Jay and Cass are bio siblings, and Jason’s slow return to the fold. I love this series, and I think it’s one of the greatest take on Lady Shiva being Jason’s mother too.

2.2 Didymous  by   Hinn_Raven

Didymous: adjective: growing in pairs or twins.

Cassandra and Jason are born twins, raised by their father to be killers. Two heads are better than one.

It’s a great AU with Jay and Cass being biological siblings.

2.3 the patron saint of the lost causes series by evanescent

Pre-Flashpoint AU based on canon what-if Lady Shiva was not only Cassandra's biological mother, but Jason's, too. Mostly focuses on Cass and Jason's relationship, and how that fact changes the dynamics in Batfamily.

It is also a great series with Cass and Jay being biological siblings and I recommend reading every fic of this series.

2.4 Rebirth by Ionaperidot                

"The boy is clearly ill, and while she’s almost certain that he is, impossibly, Jason Todd, almost is not good enough. She can’t drop heartbreak on her beloved’s doorstep, and she can’t run the necessary tests when Damian is vulnerable to her father’s wrath. There’s no way around it. He’ll have to come home with her."

Unexpectedly in charge of a second son, Talia struggles to raise her children without unwanted attention from the Demon's Head.

An AU where Talia is the one who unites Cass and Jason. It also contains Damian, and he’s a little brother to them both.

3. Jason and Duke being bros

3.1 Bats are Dorks by   Reah22                

Duke hadn’t meant to literally trip and fall on to Jason. He really hadn’t. For the record, he blamed Steph. It was probably one of her old pranks that she forgot to take down. That, or she deliberately left it up for someone to trip over in the dark.

Just Duke and Jason, hanging out. Super nice.

3.2 oh, where do i begin? by LazuliQuetzal

“No, no, nothing’s wrong,” Jason says. “We’re a-okay. Just peachy. Good times.”

“Oh,” Duke says, lamely, working himself out of crisis mode. There’s an awkward silence for a moment before he speaks up again. “Why did you call?”

“Right, right," Jason mumbles, which seemed a little out of character to Duke. His sort-of wayward brother was generally intimidating, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Uh, Dick said that you had a guinea pig when you were younger. How do you take care of a guinea pig?” _____

AKA, not-exactly accidental guinea pig acquisition

Absolutely adorable short story about Jason going to his little brother for advice.

3.3 rockstar au series by addiebey starting with disconnect:

jason and duke bond. dick just doesn't get it, but what's new?

Another great no-capes AU. Only two fics from the series, both under 1k, are focused on Duke and Jason, but they are so great. The whole series is, actually, though it’s not finished. I am just grateful even this much exists, but I am definitely bookmarking and subscribing it in case there will be more. Please give this series the attention and praise it deserves.

There are, alas, not many Duke and Jason-centered fics. Though there is another one I wanted to recommend, about Jason training Duke, but I can’t find it for some reason. It was short and funny, and if anyone recognizes this description, I would be glad if you told me.

4. Jason and Dick being bros

4.1 i was naive and hopeful and lost by heroics (figure8)

Clark and Bruce take in a troubled teen.

The The Fosters AU no one asked for.

It’s a part of the series which is one of the best no-capes AU I’ve read, if not the best, and it’s a great family-focused fic with a good parent Bruce. The road for Jason to become Dick’s and the rest of the kids’ brother is slow but greatly written.

4.2 To Reconcile by CasualDanger      

“Babs slapped me at your funeral.”  Jason goes to laugh, but it’s just a cough and his mouth barely even twitches up.  “She hated me in that moment.  I mean, really, really hated me, like I did Talia after I found out Damian had died.  And I wondered,” his voice cracks, eyes glassy now, “did you hate anyone when I was gone?  Because I was gone?”

Short and emotional fic where Dick and Jason open up to each other during pressing circumstances.

4.3  Five Times Dick Grayson Read about Jason Todd in the Newspaper by Engineerd              

If Dick hadn’t been special ordering the Gotham City Gazette, he wouldn’t have found out for - well. Years, at this rate.

Short and very full of emotion story. I love the exploration of Dick’s almost unchanging attitude toward Jason - well, unchanging right before the last time he would read about him (or almost the last time). They’re not really close here, and won’t grow closer, but sometimes siblinghood is like that.

4.4 The View From Jade by lowflyingfruit                

Being transported to the past is not the sort of thing one normally expects. But this having happened, and with no easy way back, Jason's determined to make the most of it. Though the Bat still stalks Gotham's streets, the city's crime is run by the mobs instead of the rogues. There's no Joker yet.

There's no Robin.

Maybe there shouldn't be.

Time Travel Jason&Dick focused AU! One of the best time travel fics where they actually change stuff even if it doesn’t transit to their universe - for exception of their more strong brotherly relationships.

5. Jason and Stephanie being bros

5.1 this time, the loser wins by parkerstorms

They were two sides of the same coin.  They understood each other.  It was nice.  It was a downright relief.  She’d never had a big brother before.

There’s not a lot of Jason and Steph being bros stories I have not mentioned before, but this one is one of them, and a great one too.

6. Jason and Tim being bros

6.1 Bonding Habits of Robins by  GoAwayOlivia                

Giving each other shit is how the bat brothers show they care. Jason and Tim do it particularly well.

It’s a funny and nice fic with exactly what’s said in the summary.

There’s a lot of fics with Jason and Tim being bros but my memorie went blank when I tried to recall. Which is not a statement about their relationships or quality of fics that depict them, it’s just sometimes my memory doesn’t work properly. This is the case with the Jason and Steph, too. As soon as I remember or discover new fics about their relationships, I am going to update this post or maybe create a new one just for the three of them. We’ll see!

7. Batfam Jason-featured sibling relationships

7.1 If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You)  by  lurkinglurkerwholurks

or, 5 times Jason Todd saved his siblings... and one time they saved him.

It was only by luck that Jason was still there when the bodies came crashing down the street. Bad luck, he would argue. He could hear them long before he could see them, their bodies preceded by the thunderous pounding of boots of asphalt and shouted curses. Three or four figures flashed by his little alleyway, a tight mob followed by a lone, slender figure in a streaming cape.

Summary speaks for itself. It’s a gradual description of Jason slowly coming back to the family after UtRH and starting feeling like their brother.

7.2  this is a long drive (for three robins who don't agree on much) by   drakefeathers

(Bad Robins road trip AU!) Steph’s trip home to Gotham takes a huge detour thanks to Jason and Damian’s conflicts with airport security. She’s stuck driving the two brothers cross-country to reach Tim’s wedding in time.

Damian, Jason & Steph bonding road trip AU that warms your heart. Seriously, if you like any of these characters, you read this.

7.3 on a thin chain of moments and something like faith series  by irnan

Jason really oughta know better than to talk to Bats.

Jason bonding with both Steph and Cass! Love it. It’s fluff and angst, which is hard to pull off together, but it works here. It also, in places, incredibly funny. I love re-reading it from time to time.

7.4   Tremor by  LueurdeLaube              

Nobody can tell Jason Todd that joking about his own death is not a valid coping mechanism.

Not about Jason being a bro per se but about Batfam and Jason so I hope it counts!

7.5. the lost sidekick society by  redtruthed                

The batkids make a group chat.

Chaos ensues.

One of the best groupchat AU for Batfam.

[kyotakumrau]

2020.09.19 ROCK AND READ 091 - interview with utA - translation PART 2/2

And so hati and I left Niigata with very little money, but carrying a guitar and a bass with us, we went to Tokyo.

Interview: Yukinobu Hasegawa Photos: Yosuke Komatsu (ODD JOB LTD.)

Translation: kyotaku You can buy the magazine on amazon, tower records etc ฅ( ̳• ·̫ • ̳ฅ)♡

PART 1 HERE

-- With 40~50k yen you can do a short sightseeing trip to Tokyo (laughing).

utA: Yeah, that's why we got part time jobs soon and started saving, and together with hati we rented a cheap place in a wooden building for about 40k yen. And there our Tokyo life has started.

-- Sounds very Showa style (laughing). Where in Tokyo was it?

(*Showa era, 1926-1989, is often referred as nostalgic old times, retro style; but the house utA and hati lived in was likely an actual Showa building... which are seen as not safe during disasters and thus very cheap to rent)

utA: It was in Komagome. There was no bath, but it was something like a detached house, so for 45k it was super cheap. But it was a considerably old building.

-- But still that's cheap. For a detached house. Was it a stigmatized property by any chance?

utA: Right? But it was cheap, so we thought why not (laughing). The two of us. Even if there's some issue.

-- There's issue with you two (laughing). There were two of you meant to live there, but it would be totally fine if the third unknown occupant appeared suddenly?

utA: Yup (laughing).

-- So you wouldn't be bothered if some floating life form came out?

utA: Yup, no problem at all (laughing). Actually, there was an episode of the ghost visit. You probably won't publish this part of the talk, but it seems like I can actually sense the supernatural. It was when I was writing music when living in that place, I suddenly felt strongly some weird presence behind me, I've been hugged tightly, and when I shouted surprised 'who's it??!' I couldn't see anyone. I thought, ah, someone had passed away in this room at some point. There is really a lot of interesting stories from when we lived in that house (laughing).

-- This is something that must end up in the printed interview for sure.

utA: Seriously?! Won't that be too scary for people who really believe in ghosts? (laughing)

-- Have you encountered many phenomenons like that?

utA: Yes, I have. I could feel many spiritual beings already from before, but there were just a lot, in that place. When hati came back from his part time job I remember telling him 'holy shit someone just grabbed me from behind, we have to move out as soon as possible' (laughing).

-- As you were living in a crazy place like that you have later started a band, it was 9GOATS BLACK OUT, right? It's a bit spooky/ominous band's name, was it because of this?

utA: I guess (laughing). It was crazy living over there, but also very fun. During summertime, the two of us would be bathing in the small garden outside, hati would be taking a shower in the kitchen sink, or sleeping in the oshiire*(laughing). He was a great guy, super funny. With this hati I've done one more band in Tokyo before 9GOATS BLACK OUT. But it only lasted about a month. When looking for a good potential band members, we reached out with invitation to a vocalist ryo from Niigata who done bands like D'elsquel or GULLET. And even as we went to Tokyo to look for band members, we ended up forming a band with 3 guys from Niigata, starting activities in Tokyo. And for that ryo moved to Tokyo.

(*oshiiire is Japanese closet. It's much deeper than Western style closet and has a shelf, you can actually put a single mattress in😆)

-- To that stigmatized/haunted house?

utA: No, no!! (laughing) He actually refused 'I'm not coming to a place like that!' (laughing).

-- ryo was working as a designer then.

utA: Yeah, he was working as a designer in Niigata, but we asked him if he wouldn't quit (laughing). As we could write great songs to make it [in music]. And ryo agreed. Starting the band in Tokyo was like turning over a new leaf. All of us moved to Setagaya ward in Tokyo.

-- Did you choose a stigmatized place again?

utA: It was also an older building, but without any strange situation going on, it was fine (laughing). This time not house sharing, all of us got our own small apartments.

-- 9GOATS BLACK OUT has a very firm image as a very original, strongly idiosyncratic band.

utA: That's definitely true. From when we started activities, the pace of work has never decreased, I think it was a good condition.

-- It was a visual kei band, but musically it had quite a lot from the ambient like elements. You had many very interesting songs.

utA: Yup. Gradually I was leaning more and more to add ambient style to songs. As for why, when we started in Tokyo, in my mid 20s I was increasingly listening to Western artists. Before that I think I wasn't listening to artists outside visual kei, but as I progressively became a better musician I started noticing more and more the greatness of the overseas bands and music. I really got into Radiohead and MUSE, and the songs I was writing got a bit more ambient.

-- Those artists place big importance on the sound of each album.

utA: True. My favourite band now is Radiohead. But at that time I was probably aiming to have a band in a style of MUSE. But our songs were not as rock-ish as MUSE is.

-- MUSE is not only an English rock, their sound is very much arena rock like.

utA: The MUSE now definitely is like that, but I really love their first album 'Showbiz'. Starting from the first song 'Sunburn' there was an amazing ambient, I was probably influenced by that.

-- You got attracted to the clean tones from when you started to play the guitar, so do you like the air surrounding the sound, the pleasant feeling of the ambient style?

utA: That's right. It was with 9GOATS BLACK OUT that we gave shape to songs like that, so musically it was very fulfilling.  Speaking of albums, songs were mainly written by me, ryo and hati done 1 or 2 songs each. So with that it's like I kinda run out of song ideas fast (laughing), or I used everything I had [and it wasn't enough]. There was a pattern that with each album I felt I had to open new doors.

-- You included plenty of synthesizer sounds, creating a three-dimensional sound.

utA: I did, yeah. I was exhausted with every song. There were times when I'd write the main part of the song, and after that I would throw it to the drummer or bassist asking them [to finish it]. Creating songs with 9GOATS BLACK OUT was a good learning experience, but I also experienced how it is to use everything you had and look for new doors to open. I had a healthy attitude towards music, but on the other hand it was also harsh.

-- Around 2013 9GOATS BLACK OUT has ceased activity, where did that come from?

utA: We disbanded 5 years after the formation. It was due to the differences between the band members (about music/band direction).

-- Each of you were writing songs, when you followed through did the music production make each of you do some soul searching?

utA: Yeah, it felt like each of us was changing a bit and the gap growing between us was slowly getting closer to reaching the limit. And as a result, we arrived at the point where we didn't agree where to go next as a band. That's why I think at the latter period each of us felt that as a band our demise is nearing.

-- When that came did you start thinking about your next step?

utA: Nope, not at all. This is similar to when I was graduating the high school, I don't think about what's next (laughing). For now let's stop. After that somehow it will work. Like I'll do what I have to. Weirdly optimistic, I didn't know what's ahead. I wasn't planning on quitting music, but I was tired of writing songs, I was thinking of taking a break for 1 or 2 years from that, wanted to do it properly.

-- And then Kyo contacted you?

utA: Yup! I was very grateful, happy and surprised.

-- I heard that Kyo contacted you saying that he has listened to 9GOATS BLACK OUT music and wants that sound?

utA: That's why I was so moved when I heard that. Since I started music I felt I wanted to maintain my own worldview, this hasn't changed even now. I was glad I could continue, really glad. I felt 'even among musicians there's someone who really appreciates [my sound]'. That time Kyo and Takumi already started writing music for sukekiyo, and were at the stage of thinking what to do about other band members.

-- Have you met those two before?

utA: Not really. But I think we played at some big event with RENTRER EN SOI. And I also had a chance to see DIR EN GREY live twice. But we haven't met then, so our first meeting was when we talked about sukekiyo. [It went like] 'it's really an honour, I'm really grateful that you appreciate my music, I'm really looking forward to working together'.

-- Did Kyo had any specific requests?

utA: It's the same now, he told me to do whatever I want. He hasn't changed since then. That's why from the start I had freedom when working. When working on "IMMORTALIS" I could just let out my worldview freely, so I really enjoyed it. But from the next title "VITIUM" I started to wonder what exactly do I want. So for me, the freedom was the reason I started to lose my way. From around "ADORATIO" Kyo might have started to ask us 'what about something like this as a big picture?', but beyond that it was all 'please do whatever you like'. Not only in terms of music, but I'm quite a free spirit, also among band members (laughing). So I'm very grateful to receive such a generous support from Kyo and other members. YUCHI and Takumi, and Mika help to unify my songs. I really have freedom when creating the original melody. I really think I'm blessed to have those people around me. I'm truly thankful that even though I'm such a free spirit they are all people who can understand me and treat me kindly. They are amazing.

-- It's been 7 years since sukekiyo started, is the gratitude only getting stronger?

utA: On one hand it's getting stronger, but as our time together becomes so long there's also a thing it's by now embarrassing to say. It became difficult to say thank you. Especially having all this support from Kyo, I'm just so grateful to him. It feels like he cares so much, for me. If I got it wrong, sorry for assuming (laughing). When I fail, I get pulled in by that thought, I'm not able to do anything including song writing. Having freedom when creating songs, there's no end of ideas, but rencently they came a bit. With the release of "ADORATIO" in 2017 and "INFINITUM" in 2019 I've been thinking about it a lot, what will we do next. sukekiyo is doing quite a lot music wise.

-- So now it's not like you get influenced by something so you can write?

utA: That is rapidly going away.

-- But for example, even when you write a thing influenced by something else, when it's finally sent to other member shouldn't it be reborn as a totally new thing?

utA: You're totally right. Yeah, it will be reborn as something new, so I just thought it'd be totally fine if I let my mind wander more and create. Of course I want to push myself and always create something that will make you think 'oh amazing' the moment you hear it, including the worldview as well, but if I only do things this way it will always be like that, when I instead pass the idea to the band members it's so interesting to see how it will change. So now, you gave me a very good hint (laughing). Just, my hate of loosing in weird way comes out here, I want to be able make people react 'I'll be damned, what was that!' all by myself. I want Kyo or other members to accept the song when listening at first only to the sound I created. I want to surprise Kyo, who blessed me with 'I want your sound'. Actually, I already made some crazy songs, I want to make more songs I'm happy with and that members can listen.

-- When thinking specifically about the next [work], what kind of sound or songs do you want to pursue?

utA: It's something I've been saying from the start, I want to bring out abnormality/transformation. If the band's sound become electro or other, I don't care about this direction, but there's the thing were I don't want people to listen without questioning it. When no matter how many times you listen but it's hard to understand. And then after a year or so you start thinking it actually might be a good song. Saying that this is my ideal might sound strange, but I think songs like that are way more attractive. Not a song that you like from the first listen.

-- I totally get that feeling. Listening to the song, you can enjoy the wrestling with the music. It's beyond your comprehension, but you're drawn to it somehow. Because when you keep listening to it again and again, you start noticing more sides to it.

utA: That's true. It took me about 5~6 years to truly understand Radiohead. Especially "Pabro Honey" or "The Bends", at the beginning they totally didn't resound with me. The vertical axis felt off, or wasn't there a better chord than this etc. I was thinking that for so long, but then I finally understood after some years, it's because of those things they are good. I hope to someday be able to reach that level. Even if fans probably don't want songs for which you need 5~6 years to understand (laughing). But there is a joy of bringing something unknown to life. sukekiyo has created that for each album, so I'd really like to give birth to something even better again.

[your--isgayrights]

F, M, S :?

Hiiii stella i really liked your new fic just so you know okay hello :))

Gonna put my answers to these under the cut because they’re really long ^_^; thank you for sending me an ask for this but also dont feel obligated to read my long winded answers aslkfjfdsf

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Hmmmm this question is kind of hard because even though I really see myself as someone who likes writing dialogue more than prose, lately most talking I write is like heavily interlaced with like these character actions that are supposed to be indicative of tone, you know? Also I have a lot of dialogue I like that isn’t technically attached to anything yet... uh...

Okay, I like these lines from A Dream in Which Yoo Jonghyuk Plays Mario Kart:

"Kim Dokja." Yoo Jonghyuk says.

"... You're gonna tell me to shut up, right?" Kim Dokja tries to guess from the vast experience he has of this man. "To not worry so much about useless things? To just be here in the moment..."

He trails off on the word moment. His eyes are suddenly far away, clouded with the memory of a destroyed Seoul skyline.

The hand on his shoulder tightens. Just enough to bring him back.

"Eh?" Kim Dokja's eyes refocus, blinking up at a Yoo Jonghyuk who is looking at him in the eye instead of over his shoulder. "Well?" He asks a man whose broad back is now far too sore in the mornings to carry the weight of the world. "Am I right?"

Yoo Jonghyuk does not answer any of the questions that Kim Dokja has posed with a 'yes,' a 'no,' or even a 'shut up.'

He does, however, give his husband a peck on the lips that lasts for just a moment shorter than a dream and conveys the exact same message.

When he pulls away from this kiss, he meets his husband's eyes once more and says five magical words.

"Watch me win Rainbow Road."

Um the thing I’m most proud of here is that I made Yoo Jonghyuk being a gamer anything approaching “romantic.” The “Watch me win Rainbow Road” line is basically the main thing holding this ficlet together as an actual piece of writing akdjfslfjsf. But like I said, a lot of the emotion in the words comes from the deviance from expectation set up around the dialogue rather than the dialogue itself, so I’m not sure if it counts? Fun anyway!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Hmmm most of my premises I’ve been trying to adapt somehow into my current WIP, like I had this soosang idea that I thought about adapting as some sort of epilogue? It was like about HSY and YSA being childhood friends and the way that HSY wrote passages in her stories differently based on the way she viewed their relationship. But then like... hmm.

I guess Actual premises would include stuff like “AU where Kim Dokja is there when Yoo Jonghyuk regresses,” which I’m always daydreaming about just a little bit because 1. I kind of want to write YJH perspective on KDJ in the early rounds because I think its hilarious how he probably thinks very highly of him actually and thats SO diffferent from how KDJ views how things are happening, and then 2. VERY funny to have KDJ make the choices he makes confidently in timelines where he doesn’t realize YJH knows about him, or like 3. how KDJ would adapt to YJH knowing about him and whether he has back up plans for that.

My only hang up on that premise is that I’m not going to write it because A. It would take WAY too long for me to flesh out that premise in a way that I was happy with because I’m terrible like that and even slice of life relationship stories have to have like 40k long chapters for me to be happy with development. And then B. It’s definitely a premise that’s been used before, and even though I’m usually cool with doing bland premises with my own spin on them, I think that a lot of people already have like... set opinions on what they think this type of au would look like and mine differs a bit and I don’t want to argue with people on the internet, haha.

Anyway since I’m never going to write it, I can tell you that I think that the climax of my AU would probably be all of the KDJs of every timeline some how reviving YJH at the same time across their parallel timelines. It would show the perspectives of KDJs who were briefly mentioned in YJH’s building angst train, even ones where he was an enemy and in fact killed YJH himself, and other ones where he was a deeply trusted comrade, and we would think that the KDJs are doing some part of the scenario until they all do the same thing at once and it’s revealed what the item they were trying to obtain did. It exchanges his own life for that of YJH’s.

YJH in whatever regression he’s in has this moment of being completely saved, where all of these lifetimes where he died peacefully of old age by his companion’s sides come rushing into him, but even though he realizes Kim Dokja is the one responsible, he has no memory of him making it to the end. So he resolves to spend that last lifetime vowing not to die and to save Kim Dokja no matter what when previously he had given into the regressor depression of only trying to save himself.

Also not about fanfic but uh here’s some songs that I daydream orv amvs to sometimes: A Death - An Unkindness, I’m Gonna Win - Rob Cantor, Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths, Squaring up - Sir Chloe.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Ahhh you know I think I’ve said this before that I really like slow burn and long complicated relationships like childhood friends to enemies to friends and or lovers you know, but I’ve been thinking about it recently and realize that I actually do use a lot of fandom-ey tropes! Like it was pointed out to me that my big WIP is very much based on an AU used in other fandoms, and I realize that I really like writing troupes used in fandom in a way that puts my own twist on it,  you know?

Like this is a bit embarassing, but I think the first fics I ever wrote were definitely from me seeing a specific kind of AU being overused in the fandom and wanting to write that AU from what I viewed as like... THE. RIGHT. WAY. to do it asdlkfjsfasfasf. Like the main emotion that actually gets me writing something down is spite alskfjf. Like sorry allos but I don’t understand why they would have kissed there so heres a 50k+ fic where they gaze longingly at each other for a much much longer time okay thanks.

[sushiandstarlight]

Cookies: Chapter 17

This chapter contains today’s prompt “wish.”

Previous story: Of All The Beds In All The Hotels In All The World

Chapters 1-3 / Chapter 4 / Chapters 5 & 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16

Read this chapter on AO3

Rating G-Light Teen for suggestions, nothing explicit

Personal Note: I’ve officially crossed the 50k finish line with this chapter!  I’ll still be writing as this story isn’t finished yet and I’m curious to see what my end-of-the-month word count will be.  This story was meant to be a couple thousand words to get me through one or two days of prompt fics.  Now, it’s over twice as long as the previous story and it’s 2/5 of what I wrote on for the month and growing!

Okay, enough of my blathering... let’s get back to the fluff:

Crowley thought that the night before he proposed would be fitful, sleepless. That, perhaps, he would sleep in bits and pieces and have stressful dreams. It wasn't like that at all. Aziraphale had loved him to a drowsy state of peaceful exhaustion before, astoundingly, falling asleep before him. He lay as long as he could, gazing at the angel- watching his slow and even breathing and listening for his little snores. Admiring that he allowed him this vulnerability and so many others. He was still nervous, to be sure, because that's who he was. But a part of him had settled into place tonight: tomorrow he would offer the rest of his days to the best friend he had ever had and there was a certain surety that Aziraphale would say yes. He drifted off and dreamt of soft, white twinkling lights and cocoa and an angel's smile lighting up the darkness.

“Crowley,” the voice was soft and very close to his face. He grumbled at it.

“Crooooowley,” it was a little louder now, a smile curling the end of his name.

“Neh.”

“There you are.”

“m'not.”

Aziraphale laughed quietly and touched his face. Crowley cracked one eye, it was still dark.

“s'not Christmas yet.”

“It is, though.”

“Nope, still dark,” Crowley closed his eye and nuzzled down into his pillow, “Santa might not have come yet.”

“Is this what I have to look forward to when we get home?”

“You could let me sleep.”

There was a little shuffling and then Aziraphale's voice was closer.

“But I want to start the day with you.”

Crowley groaned softly and blinked open both eyes to find the angel's face close to his.

“There are those beautiful eyes,” he sighed and kissed him, snuggling in close. Crowley wouldn't say, but wake-ups like this would be more than worth the loss of sleeping in. He kissed him back, pulling him along as he rolled on to his back.

“I want to give you your first present,” Aziraphale smiled down at him.

“First? There's more than one?”

“Oh, yes. This one I can't give you downstairs, only up here,” the angel's hand trailed suggestively down Crowley's stomach and now he was fully awake.

“But what if Santa's still watching?”

“We get a reprieve between Christmas day and New Years.”

“Are these rules written down somewhere or...” Aziraphale's hand had found it's destination and Crowley shivered.

“Would you like your present now?”

“Uh, uh huh.”

“That's what I thought,” Aziraphale grinned mischievously- and didn't that do things for Crowley- and disappeared under the blanket.

-

There was a pile of pastries fit for royalty sitting on the table in the lobby when they finally made it downstairs. Aziraphale went for them immediately, cooing about the beautiful lamination of the dough.

Crowley sauntered into the sun room. The tree was lit in front of the wall of windows, showing off the crisp snow all over everything outside. It hadn't snowed overnight and it wasn't now. The sun was obscured by clouds, but the snow still twinkled. It was a picturesque scene and it should have made him want to hurl... But, what could be better than this, really? What better backdrop could he hope for?

He turned to the tree and now noticed that there were presents piled under it, wrapped in garishly cliché wrapping paper and done up with curly ribbon. There was a little pile for Gladys and one for Edie and another with Gladys' grandson's name on it.

And then two more little piles... for him and Aziraphale. Crowley squatted and blinked at them in confusion. In Aziraphale's were a large lumpy package and a large tin. In his own were another large lumpy package, a smaller rectangle- maybe a box?, and a tiny little box. The tiny box was wrapped in black paper and had red ribbon tied around it. Crowley suspected that one might be from Aziraphale. He wondered what could be in such a small box.

He meandered back to through the foyer and into the lobby where Edie and Aziraphale were now sitting at the table, discussing the ins and outs of good pastry.

“It's the lamination, if you don't get good lamination- keep that butter cold- it's a lost cause.” Aziraphale said as he munched on flaky little bite-sized fruit-filled pastries.

“There's another secret ingredient, you know. It's in all home made baked goods.”

“All of them?”

“Well, sure.”

“What is it then?”

“Love, you goose. You can taste the love that goes in to something that's made from scratch!” She turned her smile from Aziraphale to acknowledge Crowley standing there and he nodded like he understood.

“I can feel love, you know. I can sense it.” Aziraphale was still munching away as he talked, little flakes falling from his fingers and onto the table in front of him. He must not have noticed yet or he'd be fussing.

“Well, then you ought to know it's in there.”

“I think I can feel it, now that you mentioned it,” Aziraphale winked at her and reached for an apple turnover that sparkled with sugar all across the top.

“Gladys in the kitchen?” Crowley pointed that way.

“Yep,” Edie waved him off and he went to the kitchen, but paused in the door way when he heard his name.

“Your poor senses must go haywire around Crowley, then.”

“How do you mean?”

“He's bonkers-crazy head over heels for you, dear.”

“I don't really get any sense from him, actually. I mean I get a feel for him, but nothing specific I would call love,” Aziraphale cleared his throat, there was the sound of something being put down on a plate before and went on, “I'm not sure if that's because he's always felt a certain way and so I just chalk it up to being who he is or if I'm just too close to see. Either way, for a time I was convinced that he couldn't love.”

“That's just crazy talk,” Edie sounded incredulous. Crowley silently thanked her. He could damn sure love. He loved his Bentley and he loved stirring up mischief. But the love he felt for Aziraphale eclipsed both. It made him a little sad that the angel couldn't feel it, although it was probably best that he couldn't for most of their friendship. He wished he could change himself, even just a little, so he could show him the depths of what he felt.

“Oh, I know that now. It seems rather silly in hindsight. No one loves like he does. It's a safe, giving, selfless kind of love. I might not be able to sense it, but I can see it in his actions and hear it in his words.”

“He orbits you, dear, like you're the sun.”

“I suppose he does.”

“And you love nothing more than shining on him, don't you?”

“He..,�� Crowley could hear him swallow hard, apparently choked up, and the desire to go to him was almost unbearable but he held still, “He believed in me when no one else did- including me- and he was there when my family abandoned me for their own selfish causes. If I can spend my life shining on him, Edie, it's something he deserves.”

“Now, don't you get me blubbering on Christmas morning. Eat another pastry,” Edie sniffed pointedly and Aziraphale went back to munching.

Crowley carried on in to kitchen and found Gladys struggling to get a turkey that was nearly as big as she was into the oven. He rushed over and held the other side, the two of them sliding it in together.

“Thanks- oh goodness, but you sure have a dopey look on you this morning!” Gladys wiped her hands on a tea towel and threw it over her shoulder.

“Neh, I don't.”

“Okay, if you say so,” she chuckled, “but you look like one lovesick fool to me. You do know you've already won him, right?”

“Just... sometimes I wish I could meld our minds so he could feel what I feel for him.”

“Oh, he knows,” she waved him off and started unloading the dishwasher. Crowley automatically started taking things from her and putting them away. Funny how quickly this kitchen had become home base for him here at the inn, “but I understand. I feel like that with Edie sometimes. Then sometimes she gives me this knowing smile and... I know she knows.”

Crowley hummed.

“Are you nervous?”

“Not as nervous as I thought I would be.”

“When are you going to do it?”

“When are we opening gifts? I see there are presents for all of us, you crazy woman.”

“After dinner,” Gladys said laughing when he pulled a face, “the anticipation is the best part! Kids, you let them run down on Christmas morning and tear into things. They're too keyed up to wait. But, we're adults now... We can savor the magic a little longer.”

“Savor the magic, okay.”

“Now, be a good lad and wash the potatoes for me.”

Chapter 18 is now up!

[you-did-well-moon]

The Warmth Provided (3)

Type: Fluff, Angst, Crack, College Au, Friends to lovers Au

A/N: Aaand the third and final part is here yayyyy. Did you guys enjoy this mini series?? I really hope you did. Small disclaimer, not all requests I receive will be as big as this! It’s not a real fic if Jackson isn’t in it (i’m kidding) but dang Sungjin really went for it. As my friend Bun said, someone bring a mop bc we need to clean up the mess Sungjin made. Don’t be afraid to talk to me!!

TW: Awkward situations, cussing, toxicity and unrealistic depiction of Sungjin

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

You got to sleep in since it was a Saturday, and you had no classes on Saturdays. You woke up a little past noon feeling as energized as you had in a while. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel tired even upon just having woken up. There was no soreness or exhaustion plaguing you. Just placidity in the wake of starting the day and anticipation for what the day bought you.

With the weekend, you finally had time to actually make yourself breakfast instead of eating cereal or nothing at all. You cooked yourself something simple with  eggs, bacon, and a pancake since you very well deserved it. You hummed happily to yourself having turned on the Tv for some background noise which paired with the sizzling of the pan on the stove and the sun’s light filtered through the curtains in front of the window. 

You ate your breakfast calmly scrolling through the social media apps on your phone not at all in a hurry since the party didn’t start until 8. Even if you didn’t feel as tired as you did other days, it still felt good to stay at home comfortable and wrapped up in your favorite blankets catching up on your favorite show. You weren’t running all around campus and town trying to balance your school and personal life. 

You eventually got in the shower staying under the warm water for longer than you had to enjoying it as the tension left your body relaxing when the drops of water traveled down the slopes of your body. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about what you would say to Sungjin once you got there. Demand for him to tell you why he was acting so weird? Ease into it? Guilt him into it? You groaned squeezing the shampoo out of your hair and reaching for a towel. Having Jae there would probably distract you. No matter what, you had to avoid Jae as much as you could.

Even if he was the one that invited you, you needed to fix whatever was burdening your friendship with Sungjin. You could deal with your lovesick self later. When your brother wasn’t acting like such a stranger. An annoying stranger at that. 

You stayed in your towel drying yourself off and rubbing lotion on your body. You cleaned your face letting your cleanser dry off before beginning to apply your makeup on. You went for a very light look. You were never one for heavy makeup. You did get a little creative with the eyeshadow, but you didn’t want to mess with the rest of your face afraid of smudging something. 

You didn’t really do anything special to your hair. Letting the soft strands down and making it look nice enough for a party. You started getting ready a bit early since you knew you’d get stuck when it came to picking an outfit. Standing there with your closet door open in a towel with your hair and makeup done, you bit your lip cursing yourself for not going shopping earlier in the month. 

Eventually you picked some leather high waisted leather shorts, a very short crop top you would never go near your father or mother with, and fishnets with black combat boots to finish the look. Looking outside your window at the trees slightly swaying you knew you’d get cold. Looking around your room you saw Jae’s jean jacket hanging off your chair. 

You stared at it for what felt like an eternity hesitation pooling in your stomach, but you eventually aggressively shrugged it on, figuring you could give it back to Jae and stick it out if you got too cold. Checking the time, and you realized you had half an hour before the party started.

Shrugging your shoulders you dug through your jewelry for what might go with your look not really caring if you got there on time. You couldn’t shake off the fantasy that maybe, just maybe Jae  was waiting for you. You smacked your forehead. Today you had to focus on Sungjin before things were damaged to an extent that you could not fix. 

You treasured your best friend too much to let things go that far. The JYP frat wasn’t that far from your apartment. It was around a twelve minute walk. Making sure you had pepper spray in your purse you set right off feeling your phone buzz in your pocket just as you locked your door. 

Bawk Bawk: You didn’t get kidnapped did you?

You: we’re gonna need at least 50k to give her back

Bawk Bawk: Haha very funny

Bawk Bawk: the real y/n would say shes worth 100 chicken nuggets

You : lol you got me there 

You: im already on my way. I need to pay attention to where im walking or else im gonna end up on the opposite side of campus in the sm frat

Bawk Bawk: oh no what a tragedy. Ill miss you asking me where the food is every five seconds. Really how sad.

You: wow Baekhyun wouldn’t treat me like this.

You didn’t get to see his answer instead opening up another contact.

You: Hey Sung, im on my way to the party

Bob: ok

You stared at the little text bubble a little hurt at the indifference, but you had to remind yourself that it was just a text message. Maybe he was busy helping out with the party, even if he really didn’t like the parties, he still helped out. He was just that kind of person. 

A small part of you knew that wasn’t the reason.The party had started around 30 minutes ago which meant they were past the point of setting up for the event. You were about to turn off the device when the sound of a notification broke through the silence surrounding you. 

You felt the weight on your heart slight ease up, a relieved but bittersweet smile breaking on the slope of your mouth. 

Bob: Be careful

Even if he was irked with you for whatever reason, he still worried for you. The short text message gave you hope. It was silly, but the two words were enough to bring a little bounce in your step, deciding that as soon as you got to that party you would seek him out, and you would do whatever you could to get to the bottom of what had put distance between you and your best friend. 

You halted your stride finally standing in front of the JYP frat building. You took a deep breath shaking off the nerves and tugging the jacket tighter around you. You went up the steps knees slightly shaking. Sungjin’s message did bring some ease, but the guy could be stubborn when he wanted to. You just hoped he wasn’t stubborn when it came to your friendship. Pursing your lips you shakily pressed the button to the doorbell.

It didn’t take much for the door to swing open startling you and almost making you fall back. A hand reached out to steady you, and you looked up meeting Wonpil’s warm eyes. You smiled easily consoled by his sweet smile missing the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. 

“Wonpil hi, how are you?” He softly laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m pretty sure i’m not supposed to hear colors, but i’ll get through it”

You opened your mouth cackling in disbelief as his hands probed you inside. 

“Have fun, break something and you’ll pay for it and- Jackson! What did I tell you about hanging from the ceiling lights what kind of budget do you think we have man,'' you watched the small man’s frame ambling away and squinted your eyes in amusement, smiling softly. You turned to the rest of the room craning your head to look past all the swaying bodies and flashing lights for the awkward introverted man that was one of your closest friends.

Instead you caught sight of the tall fluffy haired man with glasses sliding down the bend of his narrow nose. You squeaked quickly ducking behind the frame of a stranger as Jae’s head whipped in your direction. You clenched your jaw at the almost slip up. You frowned. You wanted nothing more than to bound up to Jae and see his eyes light up at the sight of you, but you were on a mission. 

You made sure you were out of Jae’s sight as you wracked your brain for where Sungjin might be. He wouldn’t be in where the crowd was bigger and packed. That immediately eliminated the living room, gaming room, and kitchen. That left outside in the patio, the restroom, or his own room. You bit your lip figuring you might as well check outside then head upstairs where both the restroom and his room were. You knew because of the many movie nights you had with Dowoon and Sungjin. 

The many nights of fighting with Sungjin and him scolding you for getting crumbs on his bed only to whine when you moved to Dowoon’s bed. At the end, you always ended up on the floor in a tangled mess probably getting woken up by Dowoon snoring. You set your shoulders making your way to the kitchen since that’s where the doors to get outside were located mumbling apologies to people you bumped into.

You kept your head low mumbling under your breath about how stupid this was that you even had to do this, because for some reason, Sungjin was acting odd and detached. You entered the kitchen eyes raking over everyone's faces just in case Sungjin was there. You didn’t see him, but you saw the other part from your trio. Dowoon was talking to Bang Chan with a relaxed smile on his face and a drink in his hands.

Maybe he knew where Sungjin was saving you the trouble of looking for him. You started walking in his direction, “Hey Woon,  I wish I could stay and talk, but do you know where Sungjin is?” Dowoon narrowed his eyes at you, as you smiled in greeting at Chan. 

“Not even a hi wow, i thought you were better than this. I thought we had a special bond” he clicked his tongue acting annoyed but still reaching out to you pulling you into him for a side hug. You huffed poking harshly at his side, snickering when he whined and recoiled. 

“Fine you brat, he just went upstairs to get something from his room. Here, I'll come with you. I need to go to the restroom anyways. Sorry to cut this short, but i have to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid” he put his drink on the kitchen island, and you and Chan looked at each other shaking your heads both knowing who was making sure who didn’t do something stupid. You shrugged your shoulders wincing as Chan’s shoulders shook slightly with laughter. 

You swiveled around to follow Dowoon who had already begun walking towards the stairs near the entrance of the kitchen when you abruptly came to a stop. Heading down the steps was the exact person you were looking for. Even in the shifting lighting you recognized him.

You called your best friend’s name already striding towards him and reaching out towards his frozen frame. He looked shocked to see you, his eyes troubled and eyebrows pulled together looking distressed. His body shifted back as if he was contemplating running back up the stairs.

Your hand managed to grasp the end of his shirt. “Sungjin-” you were interrupted by a wobbly yell from the living room. “Seven minutes in heaven time ladies and gents. Don’t be shy, half of you won’t even remember this ever happened,” the awfully cheerful voice that sounded suspiciously like Younghyun  somehow managed to be louder than the talking and blaring music.

You turned back to Sungjin but both of you were suddenly being pulled to the living room by Dowoon who simply said “This should be funny. Let’s go watch” you tried resisting and talking to Sungjin but he was also too busy trying to fight Dowoon’s hold on him. 

You were sat down on one side of the circle in between Dowoon and Sungjin. It all happened so fast you looked at Sungjin and tried getting his attention but was stopped by someone looking at you from the corner of your eye. 

You swallowed feeling your heart sink slightly being able to distinguish Jae’s form even from your limited sight. You slowly turned your head in his direction offering him a quivering smile wondering just how everything had managed to get messed up in such a short amount of time. He titled his head obviously confused at why you hadn’t told him you had arrived but still managed to grin back at you causing you to feel slightly bad. 

Even after the small greeting, his gaze didn’t leave you, but you were the one to break eye contact first turning to the man on your right. You gently grabbed his arm pulling at his sleeve to get his attention. He gradually turned his head to look at you, sad dull eyes looking into yours. 

“I need to talk-” you were once again interrupted by Younghyun’s voice calling the turn of the first player. 

Jae.

You felt yourself halt all movement, air leaving your lungs. You whipped your head around in his direction watching him roll his eyes at Wonpil’s light teasing. You could only focus on Jae as he slightly leaned to get closer to the bottle reaching out for it with a focused expression. 

His eyes briefly flickered to your wide ones before going back to the bottle hesitating slightly before spinning it. You had completely forgotten about Sungjin who was also watching the bottle spin with baited breath gaze landing on your form to take in your reactions.

Your heart skipped a beat everytime the bottle pointed it’s devilish finger at you while on the move. Of course, you wanted it to be you, but there was so many people in the circle the chance of the stupid bottle landing on you was close to none. Suddenly Younghyun pushed Wonpil into the circle making the smaller man stumble and put his foot in the bottle’s path while trying to regain his balance. 

Wonpil’s interference made the bottle come to an abrupt stop pointing solely at one person. 

You. 

You felt your entire body go cold taking in a shaky breath and meeting Jae’s own wide eyes behind the rims of his glasses. You felt your face grow hot seeing Wonpil and Younghyun high fiving each other in the background. You wanted to laugh at the clicheness of it. It seemed everybody had known you and Jae were in love before you and Jae. 

You looked at Dowoon and Sungjin unsure of your next actions. Dowoon simply smirked at you wiggling his eyebrows and giggling under his breath while Sungjin’s face became hard to read eyes flashing with unknown emotions. So much for the help of your best friends.

You heard a clearing of a throat gaining your attention and making you jump at seeing Jae had already stood up brushing himself off. He playfully smiled at you shaking the messy blonde hair out of his shining eyes and holding a unsteady hand out to you.

You slowly stood up on trembling knees not being able to concentrate on the shouting from the people in the circle. Your vision felt hazy not really being able to believe what was happening. You put a hesitant hand on his, feeling his hand wrap around yours warmth instantly seeping in from his touch traveling up your arm through your whole body. 

You couldn’t lie to yourself. You were terrified of what would happen in that closet. What if he just told you he didn’t want anything of that sort to do with you and you had to sit in awkward silence for several more minutes holding in your tears and rejected by the very person you had fallen in love with at a dumb party game. 

He took in the fear and worry swimming in your eyes gripping your hand tighter. His head tilted, smiling softly at you and opening his mouth to say something, but his words were robbed from his throat when his eyes took in something behind you. You felt your hand get taken in an uncomfortably tight grip, the hand tugging you backwards making your hand slip from Jae’s loose warm one. 

You swiveled around getting met with the sight of your best friend. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw was set.

“You can’t play this stupid game with her. You won’t be taking her into that closet, not while i’m here” his tone was bitter and harsh. You tried shaking your hand out of his grip, but his clutch on you grew tighter making you cry out and start slapping your hands on Sungjin’s chest. 

Jae instantly reached out for your thrashing figure only for Sungjin to pull you out of his reach. Jae scoffed anger staining his once bright brown eyes a darker shade. “Sungjin, what do you think you’re doing man. Let her go before and we can solve whatever is going on without throwing her around like this. Who are you to-”

Sungjin cut him off with a growl. 

“Her boyfriend” 

You felt an icy feeling expand from your core to your fingertips having stopped moving in Sungjin’s hold. “What the hell Sungjin what are you talking about you asshole-” you turned around and seeing the look on Jae’s face you trashed around harder having to slap at Sungjin’s hands to break free of his clasp. 

His eyes went from Sungjin’s guilty face to your own angry confused one. The crease between his eyebrows deepened, mouth letting out a disbelieving exhale and shoulders slumping in disappointment. He started backing away shaking his head and looking at you in a way he had never looked at you. 

In anger.

You tried reaching out towards him voice shaky when you called out to him. “Jae no, you have to listen to me I have no idea-” the rest of your words didn’t get to reach him, Wonpil and Younghyun both blocking you from getting any closer to his retreating figure. Both looked at you with cold expressions and you remembered other people had also just witnessed you going into an intimate space with a man when you already had a supposed boyfriend. 

You felt embarrassment and shame flood your chest twisting uglily around your lungs and squeezing. Now you were only aware of the whispers and glares circling around your lone figure. You swiftly turned around to face Sunjin, head bent not being able to meet your heated gaze. 

You briefly looked at Dowoon who was as equally shocked as you were. 

You hissed Sungjin’s name huffing when he still didn’t look up tightly wrapping your arm around his wrist and dragging him up the stairs to his room blinking away the tears from the sheer humiliation coursing through your system. 

Sungjin tried sputtering out your name, but you paid no attention not stopping in your stride until you reached his room on the second floor and pushed his body out into the balcony connected to his room. 

You instantly exploded, voices coming out in rapid angry waves. 

“What the fuck was that Sungjin what did you just- Do you know what you just did” your voice was desperate frustrated tears making your eyes watery. 

“I’m so sorry-”

“No! No Sungjin, you don’t get to apologize until i know what you’re apologizing for” you set your teary eyes on Sungjin who finally looked up, for once, face open and  flooded with guilt and regret. 

“I panicked, and I know there is no excuse for what i just did, i just- I don’t know these past few days…”

You let out a thwarted groan. “That’s exactly the problem idiot, I have no idea what’s been going on with you these past few days. You never told me anything”

He closed his eyes as if physically pained turning around to lean on the railing of the balcony and burying his head in his hands. You also felt all energy seep out of your body, slumping dejectedly next to him. You looked at him resting your arms on your arms which were resting on the railing. 

“Please tell me, what made my best friend and brother suddenly claim he’s my boyfriend right in front of my crush of years” 

You saw his facial expressions twist in a wince, finally taking in the consequences of his panicked words. 

He looked at you, mouth pulling into a guilty smile. 

“Your brother fucked up pretty bad didn’t he peaches?” You nodded at him. 

“Why Sungjin, why did you do that?”

He looked up at the sky taking in the ugly clouds blocking the stars. You simply looked at your hands, sadness making your limbs feel heavy. 

“I felt like I was losing you, that’s why” You pouted in confusion. “Why would you ever think that? You know I depend on you a lot Sungjin, this doesn’t-” you stopped at his defeated sigh. 

“It has always been you, Dowoon, and I, but out of nowhere you started hanging out with Jae. I don’t know why, but i felt threatened by that. I mean, you even lied to me about where you really were when you hung out with him at that noodle place” 

Your jaw dropped. “How did you-”

“I saw you guys on my way to buy Dowoon a new game controller” he chuckled and shrugged. “I didn’t say anything. It’s not my place to, but then I found out he liked you too, and to me, the chances of you completely forgetting about me for him skyrocketed” Your knees buckled and you had to grip the railing to remain standing as you gasped and sputtered. “He what-”

Sungjin paid you no attention simply nodding like the fact the person you had feelings for returning said feelings was no big deal. You whined and stomped  your feet because what did it matter now. Any chance with him was blown. Sungjin continued. 

“You wouldn’t need me anymore if you had him. You wouldn’t need your big brother anymore if you had him. You would forget all about me. I mean, why wouldn’t you? You’ve liked him for so long, and i’m just...me” 

You inhaled a large breath, hand resting on your fast beating heart at all the newfound information. “Can I talk now?” He waved his hand in a way that said “go on”.

“First of all Sungjin, you’re the one who’s always told me to come out of my shell and to talk to more people. Ever since high school, you’ve been telling me to spread out and get more friends. Why are you being like this when I actually did what you said and started talking to others. Will you behave this way every time I grow close to someone else? It was wrong of you to tell me something and act this way when I listened to your advice. It was especially wrong of you to just stand there and declare you’re my boyfriend, you had no right to do that” He hung his head seeing the truth in my words. “Well?”

He set his mouth in a straight line nodding. “I- You’re right, you’re completely right. How could I be such a hypocrite” He scoffed at himself chuckling lowly at his own stupidity. “I guess I just got scared.”

You narrowed your eyes at him still not being able to believe he would actually think you would up and leave him. “There comes my second point. Sungjin, how could you ever believe I would just forget you. Do you doubt me that much?  Doubt our friendship that much? Our friendship of literal years” 

He stayed silent. “Do you hear how stupid it is now?” He nodded his head once hands fiddling nervously. 

“You are someone I value very much, but that doesn't mean you’ll be the only person to hold so much importance to me. It doesn’t put you in any position to be able to act like you own all my attention and friendship.” He once again nodded silently guilt swimming in his irises. 

“I was in the wrong and for that I’m sorry peaches. I realize now that you will continue to grow and gain new people who you will bond with. You will get hurt, but that’s not something I can control nor that I can stop and unfortunately, neither can you. I can only be there to bring a smile back on your face, and i’m perfectly fine with that” he acknowledged, the corners of his lips slightly pulling up in a melancholy smile.

You felt all tension leave your body finally feeling like you had your brother back. The same one you had always confided on. You no longer felt like the air around you was pressing in on you, slowly stealing the remaining oxygen from your lungs. 

He turned towards you and looked up before looking at you and opening his arms. “I’m sorry.” You didn’t really hesitate stepping into his embrace. “I’m still mad at you” you grumbled into his chest. “I know peaches, I understand. It’s okay” He laughed softly against your hair. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I’ll be better” You believed, of course you did. He was your brother, your closest friend. An irreplaceable part of your life who had made a little slip up, well maybe a big slip up, but you still forgave him. 

“We should have done this a long time ago” you muttered against his jacket. 

“What?” he questioned. “Talked. So much could have been avoided if we had just talked” Sungjin hummed in reply both of you knowing you each had some fault in that.  

You remembered Jae’s disappointed stare, his lips pressed together in a tight line as he got farther and farther away from you. You played with one of the threads from the jean jacket you were wearing feeling helpless in the answer of what to do to gain Jae’s forgiveness. At this point, you didn’t think there was a chance of being anything more than friends with him. You didn’t feel like you deserved him just wanting to explain to him that what happened wasn’t his fault. 

You just wanted him to smile again. You wanted him to be happy. You would feel lucky just being his friend again. You expected nothing more if you were honest with yourself. 

You lightly hit Sungjin’s shoulder exaggeratedly groaning. “How am I gonna explain this to Jae” your voice was muffled by his jacket but he simply laughed again, “I don’t think you have to”

“What are you talking about you-” Shock hit you like a truck when you remembered him looking up while he was apologizing. Something told you he wasn’t just apologizing to you. You looked up at the balcony above the one you were standing on seeing a head of fluffy blonde hair blown all over the place from the wind and a grin aimed at you. 

“Jae! Did you- Did you hear everything?” You couldn’t help but to smile at the loud laugh that rang throughout the night air. “I don’t know, why don’t you come up and find out?” You breathlessly looked at Sungjin who smiled softly at you pushing you back into his room. 

You didn’t look back as you exited his room walking back up the stairs with a trembling but hopeful heart. You came across what you knew was Jae’s room after having to drag him to it from when he got a really bad stomach ache. You knocked on the door mentally preparing yourself for whatever you were about to hear.

A soft stifled “come in” was heard from inside the room. You opened the door, eyes immediately landing on the figure that was on the balcony leaning on the railing and looking up at the sky. You walked towards the balcony, your breath rattling in your throat. You opened the door that led out to the balcony shakily calling his name. 

He stayed silent as you came up next to him, also tilting your head up and getting taken aback by the twinkling stars appearing at the parting of the clouds. The quiet preserved, and your mind was only really able to focus on his arm brushing against yours and your heart pounding in your ears. You fiddled with your hands picking at your nails jumping at the sound of Jae suddenly laughing. 

“A few minutes ago I thought I was the stupidest man on earth” You didn’t really know what to say in reply to that just turning your head to look at him as a sign you were listening. 

“I mean imagine the feeling of finding out you had been writing cheesy love songs about a person only to find out they were with someone else the whole time” you opened your mouth to retaliate, but he turned his head to look at you with a soft knowing smile. “I know, I know now, you’re just friends” He turned to look back at the night sky, the smile still not leaving his face. 

You were still shocked at the fact that some of the songs you had seen him diligently working on next to you in class could have been about you. Words of love and admiration from him written right next to you, and you were none the wiser. 

You felt like all the words you could say in that moment, just weren’t enough. Instead, you reached out to fix his glasses which had gone askew only to gasp silently when he grabbed your wrist looking at you once more. “You know, there were times where I felt lesser than him. He had known you since you were around the height of my knee, and had grown up with you. Who was I to him” He admitted wearily smiling at you. 

You leaned in slightly letting your hand move to firmly grip his maintaining eye contact as you got ready to speak. “You? You are Jae Park. The stupid, goofy, lovely, hard-working song writer who has never failed to make me happy and take care of me. Who always bought me food thinking of me, and who never hesitated to be self-less at the expense of myself.” You faltered, licking your lips anxiously for what you were about to say feeling your whole body grow hot. 

“You are Jae Park, the person I'm hopelessly in love with,” you confessed breathily watching him lean closer to you, lips pressing to your forehead while he laughed happily against your skin, hands traveling up your arms to gently cradle your face.

 “What were we doing all this time? I guess the starbursts really did a number of us if we’re both so in love with each other and didn’t notice” he murmured lips traveling down the space between your eyebrows to the slope of your nose forehead now resting against yours. His glasses were pressing uncomfortably against the bridge of your nose, but you didn’t really mind too caught up in the feeling of his body pressed against your as your hands moved to clutch at his shirt. 

We’re together now” you whispered lips slightly brushing against his. He smiled adoringly at you before leaning in to close the gap lips softly slanting his lips against yours as if testing the waters before growing more eager and tilting his head to grow impossibly closer to you still softly parting your mouth with his. The kiss remained soft and innocent, unspoken words after months of pining, and delicate confessions of love expressed. The warmth from one simple kiss traveled all the way to your heels spreading in a tender but passionate manner. 

You separated, catching your breath, his hands still cradling your face before he leaned in stealing a peck and chuckling when he pulled back. 

The wind grew stronger whipping at your hair and clothes making a small shiver travel down the spine and forcing you to snuggle his jacket tighter around you clearing your throat and smiling like an idiot. One of his hands left your face to tickle you, smile getting bigger at your loud laugh.

“Nice Jacket”

“Thanks, I wanted to give it back to it’s handsome owner” He bought you closer wrapping his arms around your form, hair tickling your temple and his nose pressing into the crook of your neck.

“The handsome owner thinks you look 100 times better in it than he ever did, Kim Kardashian could never” 

You laughed into his shoulder thinking you would be fine without the jacket believing the warmth provided from his simple touch was enough to keep you warm in the coldest of nights.