#i think it would be so fucking funny if thats just. alexs go to death pose

[toonbly]

hiiii im making a self indulgent ass post w/ all the fun little details i packed into tip the ferrymen pages up til today (excluding all the stuff thats foreshadowing for later spoilers) im gonna put it all under the cut though!!!

so hi. funny little bg details in ferrymen that i think is fun:

pg2 - Russel's grave! his last name, Marek, is named after an NPC in a really old dnd campaign my buddy jay ran for us back in high school

pg8 - there's a lot here so im just showing all of it LMAO. ambrosia bar back alley in the bg, one of eddie's murals is on the wall, eileen's missing poster is on the left, and as a lil spoiler: one of the ghosts in the background is gonna be a major character in arc 2!

pg20 - one of joey's drawings is of a younger nathan and the other is a blue cowboy, if you know what thats a nod to you know lol

pg20 - Eddie's gifts for the fortunes include a cat angel statue, white lillies (often used in funerals), and a blue candle. most of this is just supposed to be a nod towards who's leaving these gifts

pg33 - this is kinda hard to see due to the coloring (which i plan on going back and fixing at a later date) but the title of this book is "the wonderful world of elevators" which is a taz reference

pg37 - this is more a production fun fact but i made the eyes on the shadow creature in esther's portrait by just heavily editing a photo of my eye lol

pg37 - as eddie sneaks away from the vargas's, he glitches out which is meant to show that he's using his shapeshifting powers. foreshadowing!

pg45 - foreground detail so everyone noticed it but eddies just kinda chilling here when the vargas's enter andy's library

pg46 and pg81 - bim bim the bear's tears match esther's death injuries, he also copies joeys expressions throughout the first arc!

pg52 - the author of this book is mai's dad, arthur!

pg54 - eddie's "tell" when she's shapeshifted as someone else is that the scar over her eye stays no matter what. this isn't the only instance of this, but emily's disguise makes it the most obvious!

while we're at it-- eddie can mimic the blank eyes of ghosts because he knows they have blank eyes from watching paranathan, but he doesn't know what their death injuries like so they can't mimic them.

pg60 - the environments in sarah's station are made of cardboard cut outs, mimicing the kinda toy-like feeling of a giant train model

pg68- anime sparkles

pg71 - my favorite example of bimbim mimicking joey's expressions

pg74 - this is obvious i just really wanna point out nathan blushing when he sees how fucking tall eddie is

pg76 - when stumbling across the recreation of the murder scene, joey and eddie stare at the replica of the murder weapon in horror while nathan looks ahead at the portrait on the wall. nathan has seen this scene before back when it actually happened, it wouldn't be shocking to him but the museum of grief lizzie's made for herself would. eddie and joey, who have never seen the scene before, focus on the replica weapon.

pg83 - joey and esther bein BUDS

theres a few for page 84 so here we go:

one of eddie's murals is on a wall next to an ad for spectech, the mural is mocking eli

glenn and henry from a certain dnd podcast

more missing posters but theyre mega small so lol

pg86 - this is not a small detail i just really, really wanna point out nathan's cut off expression when eddie says this and how joey reacts to it being able to see what the audience cant. makes me insane

pg93 - ghost boxers. this isn't obvious but its 10x funnier if you know that its paranathan merch

pg100 - the newspaper changes to read "He's dead you're still here" when nathan starts to dissasociate

pg104 - this was a self indulgent lil thing for me but my players characters in our interstitial campaign are hidden back here!

pg114 - one of the background ghosts from pg8 is right here highlighted in red

pg117 has two things!

one of the background characters is holding a paranathan phone case

steve and alex of mc fame. this reference wasnt intentional at first but a friend pointed it out while i was coloring and i thought it was funny as hell and just ran with it

pg118 due to A Shenanagin in the tip the ferrymen discord server, corporate art style babe ruth is now a thing in this comic

pg127 - eddie seeing eli in the same room as them and just immediately deciding to leave

theres a bunch more but those are all foreshadowing for BIG spoilers later and this is mostly lil easter eggs/goofs/etc HFJSDHFKDS

[localvoidcat]

my current main thought about tmc is that dave lee's corpse was in pretty much the exact same position as Mark's which is pretty interesting/funny because that means either alex can only play a dead guy one way or that was intentional. is this anything

Anyway I'm coining a new phrase. Mark Heathcliff Death Pose

NO YEAH YEAH. i call it the mark heathcliff. they look just like chalk outlines

[gutmeats]

Fuck It i am going to talk about my lovelink mcs now <3 i was kinda waiting for someone to send an ask but actually i dont care for waiting to see if something will ever happen

this is pel

and this is harvy (i havent drawn him yet so hes a sim)

abouts under the readmore bc i just know its gonna be kind of long

pel is in his 40s, and hes a welder and an artist. he can also do a bit of electrical work but he sticks with welding bc its what he likes best. his full name is michael-tyler pelman & hes a middle child with A Lot of siblings (im not gonna say the exact number bc me and my friends like to play fibbage 3 as our characters to help flesh them out and i want to drag out using his number of siblings as much as i can <3)

hes the mc i play as to romance sheng, oliver, mamoru, and dr vile and i consider him romancing them all one at a time to be one universe (theres canonical multiple universes right??????). the story that i have is that he dated sheng up until sheng’s coronation, when he panicked and booked it from the airport bc sheng declaring his love for him on live tv was Too Much Too Soon, rebounded with oliver until the date where oliver ignores the safeword, wherein he punches oliver in the face and blocks him <3 mamoru was the next rebound and they were pretty close until the part where mamoru has to go to pallay, and pel admits that he was actually lying about not knowing anything about pallay bc he panicked and didnt want to admit He Boned The King Of Pallay And Then Ghosted Him and they decide to slow things down a little. and then all the stuff with dr vile happens <3 (im still trying to decide if pel should actually be the heir to meneki or not bc on one hand it doesnt make sense for someone with as many siblings as he does to be the heir but also at the same time i think itd be funny if the lost heir of meneki appears for a week, talks about how stupid he thinks monarchies are, and then fucks off to do evil shit in space) (also i do think that pel, vile, and mamoru would be a cute thruple <3)

ingrid, nicholas and garrett are also his li’s, but “non-canonically”

---

Harvy is in his mid to late 20s, canadian (hes from vancouver, spent most of his time on hastings) , and an “ex”-hooker however unlike my boy avalon (who was a very classy gigolo and only did the weird stuff if the price was right), harvy will do the weird stuff for $10 and a burger from some shitty fast food place. (i feel like this song is a really good description of him). he also used to be a part of a gang but something happened and the gang leader helped him go into hiding. also hes trans <3 and has every sti <3 also a bunch of fake identities. like liam/min-jae, he changes his hair color every few weeks

his “canon” li is austin in the sense that hes the one that you match with, but bc of his history as a hooker who did the weird stuff he’s really into gross dudes while he does try to help austin out he has considerably more feelings bennie (the feelings being disgust and horniness <3). i think after he gets the dna evidence from bennie (which does not involve bennie getting stabbed but instead getting consentually laid) and turning it into the police, he convinces bennie to go into hiding with him by saying that he himself did sometihng to get the police on him and that he wants bennie to go to canada with him (harder for cops to do things when country lines are crossed). it does get austin off of death row. thats about as much of their story as i have planned out. mostly the whole point of it is sometimes its fun to write about fictional characters who r toxic to each other (meaning that. bennie and harvy r toxic to each other, his relationship with austin is pretty okay except for the unreciprocated feelings)

his noncanon lis are emmerson, liam, phillip, alex and mayyyybe tiros? im still trying to decide if i want to make a new charcacter specificially for tiros on account of you literally Cannot go back to sleeping with regular humans after being with a centaur. it wont be the same

[dw-writes]

Candied Harmony - Trevor “Bobby” Wilson x GN!Reader

SO HERE WE ARE!!! This is the fourth and final of the Harmony set!! I hope you guys like this one!! I realize its WAY angsty but??? you know what??? thats okay!!! Let me know what you think!

Based on the fact that the couple in episode 1 of JATP that was there with Reggie, Luke, and Alex ALSO died!!

More Julie and the Phantoms: Phantasmic Depression || Bookstore Harmony || Sunset Harmony || Hollywood Harmony || Candied Harmony || Resonate

You started noticing the guy at the cemetery two weeks ago. For a while, you thought he was just wandering the graves. He dressed like one of those weird goth guys that were at your school, so it almost made sense. But then you trailed after him, and watched him stop at three very specific graves, talking to them, leaving things behind, holding in tears for so long that he often dissolved into coughs and chokes.

You decided to pay them a visit after you were done talking with your brother. His grave wasn’t far from the first one on that guy’s trail – four over and five back, you counted – and it allowed you to see exactly where he stopped.

You left a Ring Pop at the base of your brother’s headstone, telling him that you’d be back tomorrow, and to say hi to his girlfriend for you, then wandered to the first of the three graves. You laughed the moment you saw the guy’s death date.

“What’s so funny?” asked the guy. You whirled around, stumbling over your feet, holding your sides as your breathless giggles continued. He was glaring at you, his fists balled up at his sides. “Stop laughing!” he shouted.

“I’m sorry!” you wheezed. You fell back on your butt, sitting on the mound of dirt on the grave. He lunged forward to yank you to the side. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m not laughing about him dying!” you managed to get out.

He stared at you, kneeling in the freshly mowed grass around the dirt. “Are you okay?” he slowly asked.

You shook your head. Your laughs continued. “This guy was there with my brother!” you squeaked. You fell back in the grass, covering your face as you dissolved into breathless, trembling cackles. “He was there!” you gasped. Your voice hitched on a hiccup.

The guy sat down. He waited – waited until your laughter faded into faint sobs, waited until those faded into hiccups, and even until those just disappeared completely. You pressed your palms into your eyes and told him your name.

“My friends call me Bobby,” he said. You sat up in time to see his face scrunch. “Called me Bobby,” he corrected. He motioned to the tombstone. “They were my band mates.”

“I read that in the paper,” you mumbled. You sniffed and shoved your hair back out of your face. “My brother and his girlfriend were with them, eating those car motor dogs.”

“I always told them they were terrible,” Bobby muttered.

You snorted faintly. Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out another wrapped Ring Pop. “You wanna tell me about ‘em?” you asked. You moved onto your knees and set the Ring Pop at the base of the headstone, right under the dates for Luke Patterson.

Bobby watched you all the while. “Why would you wanna hear that?” he asked. He cleared his throat and swiped at his eyes before you could see them welling with tears.

You plopped onto the grass next to him. “Well, this way I don’t feel so bad telling you about my brother,” you replied. You looked over. “And my therapist said that talking about them said that it helps sometimes.”

So, he got comfortable, and told you all about Luke, Reggie, and Alex, the guys who were practically his family. How they played bookstores, street corners, coffee shops, and bars until someone finally gave them a chance to play on a real stage. How Luke had gotten into it with his mom, and Reggie’s parents were fighting so much they never noticed he was gone, and that Alex’s parents never looked at him the same way after he came out to them. He told you all about the garage they rented from someone and turned it into a studio, and then a loft for all four of them when they couldn’t go home. How they were gonna make it big. How they were gonna live.

“Now it’s just me,” he muttered darkly. He picked up a pebble and threw it at Luke’s headstone. “Fuck!”

You hugged your knees as you watched him. “You said Luke wrote all those songs, right?” you hesitantly asked.

Bobby sniffed, and nodded, scrubbing the sleeve of his coat over his face. “Yeah. Why?”

You shrugged. “Well,” you coughed, “Sunset Curve might be gone, but you can share what they did with everyone.”

He was frowning when you looked back. “What?” He shifted to face you more. “Like steal the music?”

“No, no, not,” you scoffed, “No? You sing them. You play them. You write in the albums and on the track lists which members of the band wrote it. You?” You sighed and shrugged your arms uselessly in front of you. “You make a legacy for them.”

He slumped into himself. “Where do I even start?” he asked after a long while.

You shrugged again. “The beginning?” He shoved your knee for that. You grinned. “What’s the best song?”

“Now or Never,” he answered, “Without question. But it’s a song for all of us to play. I can’t...” He trailed off.

You scooted closer. “Then pick something that you can do,” you whispered, “And make sure that everything they put into it shines.”

He watched you, then bumped his shoulder against yours. “You wanna meet Reggie and Alex?” he softly asked.

You jumped to your feet and held out your hand. “Oh, of course I do!” You jiggled your sweatshirt. “I’ve got enough candy for the both of them.”

[interestsofabookwormbitch]

Season 1 Episode 2

They just come here to intimidate hey? Lmao I don't know why that's funny

Also, "what is wrong with you" she asks when those to broke in to terrorize a normal girl. Sometimes things like this are funny to me.

Now obviously there is something wrong, but that's neither here nor there

I have now decided to put everything into one post per episode that'll be easier

I keep wanting to call this guy Caleb because of PLL. I know that's not his name, but hey. Lmao

Also yay to that tension continuing.

I'm still feeling nervous about Kyle. He seems ok for now, but idk. He's in that narrative position where he could go either way.

Also, came up with a way to remember names without spoiling. Only look at the Google cast list. It's genius

Can't show her the memories because the last one is a secret. Also I really am nervous as he's about to try this. Like really nervous. Something has to go wrong.

Well it didn't seem to. See I want to know what happened, but I trust Max is a good guy so like, conflicted.

Racists! Hate them. Disgusting people.

Max needs to chill though, there's definitely something wrong with him.

Ooh shit. Revealing some knowledge. Things are going bad bad bad. 😬. I don't like things like that.

Fake autopsy too. Things are getting worse. Shit shit shit. Uh oh I don't know how this is gonna go down. I really can't see the three of those guys being bad or anything, but Rosa's death has some bad implications. There's definitely more to learn there. There could be some story, or some kind of accident. I don't think it's Max, thats too obvious.

Also, for now Kyle is good I believe.

What idiot talks about shooting people in a bar full of people. Also that was convenient, and ngl kinda badly written in.

Hehehe. Well someone he would apparently die for.

I'm rolling my eyes at mentions of ICE. I hate them

These guys are really annoying me.

Don't say the name Liz, I no longer trust Kyle. (I'm very wishy washyl

I really don't care if this dude dies. I mean it's not good for Max, but man he would have deserved it.

We love alien family bonding, even if it is after almost killing someone and us learning they're covering up a murder.

Maria is right, home is people to some. To most I would actually say.

Ah the conflict of Max covering up your sister's murder but then also saving your dad, and also you low-key being in love with him. Amirght?

He's not telling her what she wants him to. And she's lying rn, but that's fair enough considering everything. I feel bad though.

More lies! Ugh, how long until I learn what happened? I don't mind spoilers btw. Tell me if you want.

What is that thing Michael (or Guerin evryone keeps calling him by his last name. Idk what I'm supposed to do lmao) has? What's with his hand?

Dude don't just hook up with her because your upset. Like I don't know, I feel like someone always gets hurt there, and Jenna seems cool. Though she does seem to be ok with just hook ups so idk.

Alex doesn't want him to leave. You know how it is. Love a stuff. There's some baggage that isn't quite unpacked though

"I never look away" dude! Why is that like the cutest thing. And I'm not exaggerating. I had to legit pause the show because of that and there's 3 minutes left.

Ok, I thought he was leaving but he just went into the trailer.

Ooh, I like this kinda juxtaposition with the two sex scenes. Like I'm not gonna get two into it, but a couple that love each other, and one that's just blowing off steam. And you can see Max isn't happy.

Don't say the name Liz! Please don't say his name, I know you have every reason not to trust Max rn, but I don't particularly trust Kyle with this information, so like....

Murder mystery time.

Fuck she said his name! I hate this. Kyle, my trust must be in you now, you cannot tell anyone! I do not trust him to not say anything at all. Ugh. This can't end well.

[hippychick006]

Misha Panel 

I’ve done this summary as it helps to have what Misha actually says to hand as more often than not, his stans misquote him. It’s also useful as Misha often changes things - as he appears to have done between his last virtual panel and this one. Note, I’m only focusing on the key parts where he talks about the show/Jared/Jensen.  It is not free of anti castiel/misha comments where I disagree, though those are few and far between for a change. It’s long so putting under a cut... 

- Misha confirms his filming finished in March prior to Covid [this comes up later in more detail].  Watching the last epiosode was an emotional experience for him.  For him, it represents the end of a chapter of his life. 

- Misha says fandoms not going anywhere [*hisses]

- Misha’s future work/projects?: working on senate race in georgia, publishing a book of poetry, couple of film projects he’s trying to get off the ground, one he’s not acting/directing in, the other he may act and/or direct 

- Jack brought Cass back but we didn’t get to see it, what happened?: different ending originally that Covid restrictions made impossible to produce. Cool ending involved bringing back lots of cast members over the years.  In the original ending, Castiel hadn’t gone to rebuild heaven, there was a different conclusion for him.  Misha purposely did not read the last two episodes before they aired as he wanted to be an audience member. He knew a little about Castiel/Jack’s fate in the abstract, but because he wasn’t in it, he doesn’t know what the answer was. He thinks them rebuilding heaven was less boots on the ground and more at a spiritual level [so he’s talking at the metaphysical/spiritual plane level and not corporeal) so they are everywhere (e.g. in drops of rain as per Jack’s speech to Sam in 19). That’s what I’m understanding at least.  He says that’s pure speculation though.]

- what qualities does castiel have similar to Misha?: there are a lot of similar qualities [backstabber comes immediately to my mind tbh]. Over time he and the character melded. Over time he evolved into something that didn’t quite fit in with either angels or humanity, he felt like an outsider which Misha has felt for much of his life. He became softer, more sensitive, he tried to do the right thing and be a good person. Oh wow, he says that in order to write to play to Misha’s strengths, the character had to “morph a bit”.  I loved bad!ass Castiel, he’s my favourite Castiel!

- What one thing will he take with him from playing Castiel?: on a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. He discussed with J2 recently that the characters really became part of them. He doesn’t think that will happen again, just due to length of time the played them. On watching Jensen’s death scene, he cried but it was more “That’s Cass’ friend Dean dying”  It was weird to have a blurring of lines between yourself and your character but he thinks that’s what happened with all of them. He’ll take the character away, which will be a part of him forever. 

- Misha made fortune cookes and put inside lewd and inappropriate fortunes

[I don’t get this next bit as earlier in the panel he says he didn’t read the last two episodes so didn’t know what was going to happen and gave the answer I documented above and now we have this next question where his answer seems to contradict that]:

- Is there anything more he can say about the originally planned finale?:  He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal these state secrets, but what are they going to do, fire him?  He feels someone might have said to him, please don’t reveal what was going to happen, but can’t remember for sure if it’s true. He says there was a version of Sam and Dean’s heaven that was populated with all of the people that were from their past that they have come to love.  They could not do that because of Covid restrictions. 

- Favourite behind the scenes memory of “The boys”: He doesn’t have a favourite memory, they were close friends for 12 years. They had laughing fits and fights and got pissed off at each other. Some of his fondest memories of being at work anywhere were working on Supernatural.  He’s never going to be on a set again where there is so much mirth so he’s going to miss that for sure.

- he’s talking about Castiel’s wardrobe which is actually funny - e.g. original suit 3 sizes to big, sometimes showing blood and holes, sometimes being magically fixed, not wearing a tie, going back to wearing a tie... “Nobody complained about that too much...” [uh because some of us were watching other things and your own stans were looking at the background.]  He stole some trenchcoats and has them in his closet.

- How do you prepare for emotional scenes?: it’s hard for him to get into that emotional state. To prepare for the Castiel’s declaration of love scene and taken by the empty, Misha needs to be off by himself and not chatting with people, so for that scene he sat on his own in a dark corner of the stage and ruminated on his own.  Rob Hayter, stunt coordinator, noticed and stood sentinel and made sure no one disturbed him which Misha said was really sweet.  Everyone stopped fucking around for that scene to allow them to do what they needed to do.

-  How did you feel when you read the script when Castiel dies?: Misha knew for a long time that ending was coming, he’d been speaking to Rob Berens about it, he was really happy with it.  It was the ending he’d wanted for Cass so when he read the script, he was really happy it had made it to the page [i bet it was Misha, how are those destiel sales going through your Stands company?]. It felt it was a little “risky and a little brave” for the show to do [on a fucking network that is number one in Glaad reviews?  Are you being fucking serious right now?] He was happy to be a part of that [again sales] and have that character express love like that so he was happy with it. 

[Okay, so notice in his last virtual panel 2 weeks ago, he was very happy, he’s now starting to do exactly what he did with Karla movie as he goes on to say...]

He’s seen “some people” [you mean lgbtq+ people?!]  “complaining” about this is playing into the “bury the gays” trope which is an insidious and real trope in film and television storytelling in h/w over the years. Misha doesn’t think that’s what was happening with Castiel’s [he died second after the confession MIsha!] First of all Castiel isn’t dead, he’s in heaven working to rebuild it... [you didn’t know this 2 weeks ago, as far as you knew Castiel died and went to the empty].  So much good came from that declaration, because Cass was able to save Dean, which was essential to saving the world, so this declaration wasn’t so then fate strikes you down and you’re done forever. The declaration literally ended up saving the world. It was of Cass’ own volition, he wasn’t forced to do it, it was his choice, and he thinks that’s important, so maybe he’s naieve and doesn’t feel they are playing into that trope. 

[You were absolutely playing into that trope Misha and you didn’t give a shit as you did no research on playing an lgbtq+ character so sincerely fuck off]

He’s glad that Castiel got to express that and have that ending. He thinks thats kind of important and he’s proud the show did that. [again fuck off, this was done for you and it showed]  He thinks its a conversation they will continue to have as they continue to dissect it going forward [nope, consigned to the dumpster fire I’ve put the majority of the rest of Drabbernatural in]

- Do you think you will ever get an SPN tattoo?:  He doesn’t have any but he’s thinking about getting tattoos relating to his children.  Is that a sign of desperation that a true hasbeen will do? Should he get a tattoo of Jared and Jensen’s face.  He could get a tattoo of Castiel’s face on his abdomen.  He’s saying probably not. If they want to get one, totally supportive of that

-  what is his favourite moment of the finale?: Dean’s death scene, masterfully executed, excellent performances from both Jared and Jensen in that scene and made him cry

- best memory of your last day on the supernatural set?: everyone being really sweet, lot of tears from cast and crew. The last scene he shot as Castiel was the last scene of the day on a Friday. Him, Alex, Richard S and Jensen all had to get to Las Vegas for a fan convention the next morning. They shot late and finished at 1.30, it was Cass goodbye and Misha’s goodbye to the show.  He said they had to get a chartered flight because of the early flight [not sure why he’s saying this as I thought it was Jared’s plane they all travelled in?] He’s talking about going back - because of the issue with the plane - and they are all texting family, saying they love them, so it was such a strange night, he’d said goodbye to Supernatural, he said goodbye to Castiel and later on said goodbye to his kids because they thought they were going to die that night. :(

[Going to add that this puts to rest that Misha was due back for 19 and 20 even before covid, it confirms he was not going to be in either episode, though I maintain, they may have shot an extra scene while they had him to slot into 19 or 20]

- do you think Cass and the other angels got their wings back?: Yes, probably, they have Jack who is the new god. What a long and miserable experience that was of not having wings. Cass was so powerful when he started, he could snap his fingers and teleport and time travel and lost that with his broken wings and they didn’t come back. He doesn’t know why they didn’t fix him as Castiel would have been a much more powerful ally if he didn’t have to drive around in the pimp mobile [uh, for the same reason Sam lost his powers, deus ex machina]. He tells the story of Jared pressing buttons in the car causing the hydraulics to fail costing $10000 of repair.

- in your opinion, what colour are Castiels wings?: shit, I don’t know, I always thought they were black, but now that you’ve said that, they are rainbow coloured, how about that?

- What is the worst joke Jared and Jensen did to you?: [*cough fans looking for things to complain about or hate Jared on]: Jared and Jensen, as you know, they are not good people.  He talks about directing an episode and they got excited in the week before, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture, they had all kinds of nefarious plans, the crew tipped him off and told him to watch his home and car keys. They put a fish under the seat in his car and one of the crew told him.  Jared removed the canvas on the director’s chair and laid it across so it looked like it was still the chair. Misha fell for that at least 5 times. That was pretty frustrating. Jared kept messing up his lines (which Misha said Jared never does) and Misha was directing in another room, Misha eventually went to see what the problem was and that’s when Jared pied him in the face. Everyone in the crew was complicit in the “assault”. Jensen brought him another shirt, said, “I’m sorry man, that’s sucks, that was too much.”  Jensen then pied him in the face.

- What is the real story behind the handprint in the finale?: Um I don't know, but I think it was a nice touch, that was a really lovely callback that worked well. I can’t remember how we came up with that, or was it in the script, I can’t remember. Wasn’t it a good callback to the very beginning. [Again, this appears to differ from what was being reported two weeks ago so might need to go back to that panel if I can get access to it]

-What’s your favourite memory from offline/online panels?: It’s much more fun to be live and in person. I don’t know, I have had some really fun... [PANDERING ALERT COMING UP] Jensen and I have some really fun panels together in Rome.  I don’t know why but we always just seem to have a real hoot there, talks about the resume off, they really enjoyed that. He had pizza delivered to a creation panel once.  He talks about the Saturday night special and he can’t wait till they can get back to that. 

[NOTE CYNICAL PART OF THIS IS FOR HIS FANBASE TO ONCE AGAIN CLAMOUR FOR MORE JENMISH PANELS. I DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN AT ALL]

- What was your favourite version of Castiel to play?: he had the most fun playing Lucifer because Mark P had left a great template to play Lucifer [you took the worst parts imo but Mark fucked his character up too]. He enjoyed playing the human parts of Castiel because it was fun to explore how to be human for the first time. Overall, just regular Cass. He wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Castiel for other iterations. [A great question would be badass Castiel v late season wooby castiel preference]

[guymaito]

For the ask thing :3:

Top 5 animals? Top 5 fav/comfort movies? Top 5 fav cartoons/shows?

I’m honestly glad to know theres other people including you who actually like Pakku and his character :3 Yes he was a completely asshole at the start but he did change, it’s just that it was so subtle that not everyone saw it

Also random song associations with characters:

Fighter by Jack Stauber reminds me very well of Piandao, Pakku, and Jeong Jeong as their younger selves during the war.

Why do I associate Grace by Lewis Capaldi with Bumi? (the music video tho would give more context to why it might make sense)

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber reminds me of Piandao and his overall anxieties for his partners.

Consider some of these songs as sorta song recs? Idk but still :3

1. Giraffes!! the reason why their tongues look like That is cause of extra melanin and to prevent sunburn!!

2. Seals!! there are 33 different kinds of pinnipeds and there over 50 extinct pinnipeds

3. Dogs!! they can only see in shades of blue and yellow, so bright red roses look yellowish brown and lively green grass look dehydrated and dead

4. Crows!! a group of them are called a murder

5. Cows!! they’re actually colorblind, they can’t see red specifically, so male cows, bulls aren’t getting mad at the color, they’re getting angry at the movement

1. The Losers movie from 2010, it’s a action mystery movie about Clay and his team that are a part of an elite US Special Forces Unit and are approached by a mysterious woman to exact revenge on their handler, Max, who betrayed them and just,,,the characters, CHRIS EVANS, jake jensen and all of his kinda weird glory, THE ELEVATOR SCENE, also cougar!!

2. Captain America and The Winter Soldier movie, it’s a action movie, which makes me realize that a lot of my faves are prolly gonna be action something, but anyways, it’s about Steve Rogers, who now lives in the nation's capital as he tries to adjust to modern times. An attack on a S.H.I.E.L.D. colleague throws Rogers into a web of intrigue that places the whole world at risk. Joining forces with the Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, and a new ally, Sam Wilson, Steve struggles to expose an ever-widening conspiracy, but he and his team soon come up against an unexpected enemy. oh my god,,,just,,,the fight scenes, the running scene at the beginning of the movie, steve meeting sam that way, just everything!! this was also my introduction to marvel so in my mind no other marvel movie can live up to this (other than spiderman away from home)

3. Spiderman Far from Home, again, it’s a action movie, i’m not gonna explain this cause the post is getting long, but!! mj and peter!! just,,,all of their scenes!! also jake gyllenhaal!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!! everything about it is amazing!!

4. Thunderforce, again, i’m not gonna explain, it’s an action adventure and comedy movie (ofc it is look at the other 3 🙄 /s), the relationship between lydia and emily!! the relationship between lydia and emily’s daughter!! the humor!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!!,,,,just everything about is good despite the bad ratings

that’s more like a top 4 than a top 5 but that’s like,,,,all the movies i genuinely like and will rewatch if given the chance and for that where’s a honorable mention: Hamilton (the movie version on disney+ that came out i think nearly a year ago), the soundtrack is amazing, the characters are better, got some funny moments and is mostly historically accurate, like yeah angelica did forget her name cause at the time of her meeting alex ham, she was married to a man named john church (or something church idk) so her last name was church but she introduced herself to alexander as angelica schuyler, not angelica church, so in satisfied she was telling the truth about forgetting her own name, but in the same song she said that her father had no sons even though the real angelica had 3 brothers.

1. Avatar the last Airbender, ofc or else i would have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s sequel /s but fr though?? it’s such a good show!! zuko’s redemption arc, iroh’s redemption arc (even though his more subtle than zuko’s) , aang!! love him and his character so much, especially when he gets to be a sassy little shit, sokka and his shit humor and brains, katara, toph, hakoda and HIS shit humor, the fight scene with hakoda (he fights kinda like a waterbender, using his opponent’s momentum against them), bato and his lovely, lovely voice, piandao, aang going ‘how about he get on YOUR back and you can fly us to the south pole’ or something like that to sokka after he complained about appa not flying higher, the boiling rock episodes, hakoda apparently being a good dad but a shitty prison riot starter (love that for him), just!! atla is such a good ass show, im not changing my mind. also!! i like the way they introduced ozai, not showing his face but still presenting him as not only a shit dad, but a shit person as well, like up until book three, we only saw him like, the neck down and in like, a flashback or two (i don’t really remember how many flashbacks ozai was in actually cause it’s nearly been a full year since i last watched it) and that’s it, so it made seeing his face for the first time all the more better cause you was already like ‘what the hell does this shitbag look like’ and then you see him and now ur like ‘oh!! THATS what he looks like!!’

2. The Legend of Korra, again, ofc or else i wouldn’t have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s prequel, just,,,,korra’s arc from being hot headed to calm is fantastic but also sad considering the way she went from that to this, korra’s book 1 character!! for whatever reason i really like b1 korra, just,,her design, her hair style (even though she had it for nearly the entire series) just!!! book 1 korra <3, also the entirety of book 1!! just amon posing as a anti bender nonbender despite being a waterbender himself, the scene where tenzin and his kids nearly lost their bending, which would’ve meant that, if tenzin did lose his bending but his kids didn’t, that would’ve meant the strongest airbender would’ve been his 11 year old daughter, the gruesome way to end the season finale episode by doing a murder suicide which was dark as fuck for what?? a kids show??, also the villains in this show!! their good as hell!! the backstory of the red lotus and how and why they were created?? amon and his anti bending?? kuvira and her plan to basically rule the earth kingdom (idk i haven’t finished book 4), unalaq and his spiritual stuff and wanting to become a dark avatar and fusing with vaatu?? also!! the other disturbing scene of korra basically getting tortured near the end of book 3, i mean?? it deadass left her hella traumatized and unable to walk, again hella dark for a fucking kids show

3. The Walking Dead, even though i haven’t finished it or watched in like, 4-5 months, i just,,,the way the presented negan!! practically foreshadowing him the entirety of season 6!! him appearing at the very end of the season 6 finale and pretty much having an entire episode dedicated to him in the very beginning of season 7 (which is why some fans argue he was introduced in s7 not s6 cause of the fact that he didn’t show up until the very end of the s6 finale but had an entire episode with him in it in s7, while others say vice versa cause the very the first time we see him was in s6 not s7), the fact that the walking dead logo was getting progressively more and more decayed as the series go on?? the fact that the WALKERS (the zombies) are getting more and more decayed as the series go on?? dale’s death scene?? shane’s death scene?? negan’s relationship with rick’s daughter?? the fact that this show also has what?? 11, 12 seasons?? which reminds me that i’m still on season 9 of twd

4. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, just,,,salem and his sarcasm?? sabrina’s aunts?? sabrina herself?? just!! everyone is just so fucking funny in this show it’s unreal, specially salem!! a lot of my favorite scenes have salem in them, the ‘are you on a women’s chat room again?’ (or something like that) and salem saying ‘i like the attention’ in response, that one harvey and salem scene that i don’t know how to describe without turning this into a giant paragraph like the ones before this one

5. blue’s clues, it was my favorite childhood show and i love the reboot of it so much!! especially p for pride moment in that song i don’t remember the name of, blue themself!! steve leaving which was sad but getting an equally amazing host in the process?? amazing!! the scene where salt and pepper introduced their baby, paprika?? just,,,it’s such good show and i loved it when i was younger and i still love it now!!

[thebleuroseproject]

On Helena: #1

Context: I am playing Helena in a Vampire, the Masquerade game. Setting is Boston, Necropolis, 2015. Helena is mortal, currently a ghoul to another player character (Klaxon). The player characters are Klaxon (Nosferatu), Elyas (Tremere), Keri (Gangrel), Garreth (Gangrel). Our DM is Gore. Some of this conversation will be edited out as I have done this to focus on Helena and her character.

Garreth OOC: -points to Helena- baby

Alex: Helena agreed, but is also aware Garreth is also baby, so it's like the same feeling you have for the baby sitter that's two years older than you are.

***

Gore: Garreth and Klaxon have to make it out alive as they went into it. But y'all split the party on me so I can't gaurantee that.

Alex: Helena will probably come rushing back. I don't think she will move in just due to how complex her plant/heat lamp set up is.

Gore: She could leave them with her plant dealer, Gus?

Alex: She could but it's like leaving your cat with your best friend. You trust them but that's your baby, and you will worry constantly.

***

Alex: She wouldn't cope well with Klaxon having monster sex- she heard something about him fucking a demon, and having also SEEN Necropolis...so she looks at her dorm and values the quiet.

Gore: He can't bring them topside, so Helena's safe.

Alex: I don't think she knows that.... but I do think she'd miss him then.Oh my god is she the mum friend? I think she is! "AT WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?? YOU DIDN'T TEXT ME I WAS WORRIED?". Either way, she's still on the fence about her dorm and I can't push her any which way.

***

Gore: Has she heard stories about how brutal U.S cops are?

Alex: No, she's pretty shut in. She came to America for study and books, so thats EXACTLY what she's doing.

Gore: She's not aware of the political climate of it?

Alex: No, she's one of those 'I don't read the news'

Gore: Aight

Alex: I never really thought about it but I guess she is autistic. The 'outside' world doesn't really interest her on a larger scale. She's more about tasks and interests. The only reason I'M not like that is because of my flavour of anxiety being worried that I'm not a good person. I think Helena's is more about just interacting with people and her routines. She DOES love the World and humanity, but she's much more of a fan of nature because she's always found it hard to connect with people. This doesn't mean she's NASTY, she's nice to everyone and wouldn't hurt a fly - she just simply doesn't understand things like racism/homophobia on an emotional level. Historically though, of course she does.

***

Gore: What happens if one of her friends gets hurt?

Alex: She's never had that problem before really. The best example so far is with Patrick (NPC)when she was like OH GOD OH NO. Her first thoughts were practical though "I have to find him and give him first aid or whatever I can do". She has her panic attacks but like when Klaxon had his she throws it out the window and focuses on what needs to be done. She wants to be useful, she wants to help if she's needed in a people situation. Those situations are rare though, she's always been in her own little world, her parents hoped she'd get better with this but she's managed so far.

***

Gore: What if (helping) gets her into more trouble?

Alex: Hm. I think she takes things as it comes. If she was an element, she would be Earth. She's not selfish, she weathers the storm as best she can. THAT attitude has got her into trouble though, as she's still learning to be like "I need sleep" and "I don't want this.

***

Gore: Sometimes the Earth gets shaken. Would she take a direct attack to defend one of her new friends or have one of them defend her?

Alex: Hm, she would take a hit. She is vaguely aware people usually need to defend her, and feels bad about it. She's still never really had friends though, so this is new...AND in her mind she can always patch them up - even if that isn't strictly true.

***

Gore: How far can she go w/o realising she needs to patch herself up?

Alex: I mean she rushed out the door to help someone else at MIDNIGHT. For comparison, I would call the authorities and get some sleep since I would be useless sleep deprived. Helena doesn't even really put that as her first thought because she hasn't had anyone to really rely on (aside from her parents) so she feels like she has to do everything herself. She is Very respectful of authority figures but doesn't expect them to solve her problems, even with her parents, she realises in their old age she can't rely on them anymore. As a result, I think she'd go pretty far because she KNOWS the body and how it works. She will always think she can take a little more, but in reality she can't predict the impact and just how hard the next hit will be.

***

Gore: So if her legs are gone, she would still crawl to others to heal them?

Alex: Oh yeah, if she can move and has bandages. If not, she would at least move to be with them. Helena would be happy to go and then come straight back if Klaxon told her to and if she was given a use. Go there and come straight back we need to you to X for this thing.

***

Gore: You are a Brit in Boston in 2015 I gotta say that as well...

Alex: She's been fine at Uni

Gore: Up until now

Alex: It's only been a day for her, she doesn't get that yet. At Uni she does largely what she's told if given a clear reason.

Gore: Yeah but here's the thing about med school. It is highly competitive and people are always looking for excuses to flunk people out.

Alex: True. But she is VERY GOOD at what she does. I imagine that does annoy others but also it's hard to be mad at her because she's quiet about it as well as sweet, lovely and helpful to most people she meets. She knows her place with people in general, and it is at the bottom.

Gore: Some Boston people would say that you belong in the harbour with the tea

Alex: and she would clam up and walk on by.

***

Alex: Teachers like her because she's polite, studies hard and is VERY earnest in what she does. Helena making a mistake is rare, so when it happens, some shit is going down.

Gore: It sure will be

Alex: She's going to have to rush in and lie to teachers, she won't like that at ALL. Helena is a good girl but she ain't saying shit about Necropolis. She doesn't fully understand why, but she feels it in her heart to shut up.

Gore: Why?

Alex: Klaxon said they've (kindred) been around forever and have functioned this way. The heart doesn't know the lungs exist but functions anyway, yet NEEDS those lungs. She isn't loyal to humanity like that, her interest lies in medicine and they (kindred) don't seem malicious, from what she's seen.

***

Gore: Wouldn't it be a great medical advancement to study those undead and cryptids?

Alex: Yeah, but not on a huge scale. She knows about medicinal cruelty. How many have been mutilated or hurt in the name of study? With the world as it is now, no. Sure, an ideal world in Helena's mind would be all species working and living together but she KNOWS that isn't going to happen.So she will study by herself, and she's fine with that.

***

Gore: If embraced, would she study herself

Alex: Yeah, absolutely.

Gore: To what degree?

Alex: Not to like 'remove arm' degree, she would do it as needed. Like when they test new skincare on humans "I put this swatch on to see how it works". Blood samples, skin samples, bone study - she would see if she could get books on anatomy for surgery and healing.

***

Alex: The idea of studying forever appeals to her, but the passage of time scares her. She's not ready to be a vampire but she might be if she lost all her connections on the outside. I don't think it would be healthy for her though.

The joy of a mortal life is that you (hopefully) realise eventually that you have to self actualise or you WILL DIE and things will be WRONG.

Gore: What value is your own health when there's injured people?

Alex: Exactly. But I don't think she'd be her own person, she'd dedicate her life to a cause.

***

Alex: She's still developing as a person

Gore: You can develop as a kindred, it happens.

Alex: I think she thinks she might get there (being a kindred) but not at the drop of a hat.

Gore: Funny thing about death, you aren't always ready for it.

Alex: I know that, and she knows that a little. But Klaxon said she could choose, and she would like to. When it comes to big decisions I think she's slow and deliberate, like a plant. She really doesn't like change all that much.

***

Gore: You can't trust those Tremere, they can and will sell you out or use you for a ritual.

Alex: She won't see it like that, she is individual by individual. Like with her plants. HER Aloe Vera is not like any other aloe vera if you look on a deeper level, which she does.

***

Gore: She wanted to be a war medic right, has she done any internships at that level?

Alex: Not yet. She wanted to do her degree first for the skills, learn as much as she could by the boos because it's not something you can or should wing.

***

Gore: Would she squee if she met a moss or grass person?

Alex: Probably. Absolutely. Maybe quietly. She would probably love to learn to help them if they get sick. In retirement I can see her as being the best GP ever. The nurse that gives you breathing room if you have needle anxiety. The doctor that believes you and gives you a refferal. She is GOOD and I love her.

[flameontheotherside]

Why I stopped talking to my late friends and family...

Being able to channel with my TF is enough. In the beginning, while I was learning the ropes, I would talk to my granny, my friends who were living before and other friends in spirit.....and I sound like a psycho.

But I guess since a former close online friend passed from cancer, I cant bring myself to hang out with my peeps at our Astral home anymore. Even just thinking about it makes me emotional.

Its the fact that death is part of life.

And while I'm living, as I get older, more friends with die and family will go too. Especially my grandparents and my parents. Being 3k miles away from everyone sucks enough. I don't like talking to dead people. I rather talk with them while alive. Its not the same. While they are dead. Well it is but now Alex knows I used to have a thing for him rofl years and years ago if he didn't know already. I don't want to have to face that. Ugh its embarrassing.

Like when Chester Bennington surprised me and I cried like a fucking baby. I bawled so much I'm embarrassed by that too. It was so hard to talk to him because I loved him and like a secret pile of sapp I was, I just cried my eyes out. Then he made a remark about my boobs and I laughed 🤣 💀. I'm going to be a disaster when Serj Tankian and Daron Malakian croke. Like legit. I'd be dramatic but still fucked up wearing black for a week, not shower, blast SOAD songs all day and cry every couple of hours.

I don't want to feel like a burden

Its true that spirits aren't burdened by us at all. They want to help us and some times they need our help to relay a message or something. Or they can be Erik and start singing a random song in my ear while I take a shit. Because that's totally appropriate. It kills me because I've gotten so used to it that I find myself playing along trying to figure out what song it is. Then he'll remark on the state of my bowels like an asshole. 🤣

I was told I'm not a burden but this is a natural feeling we have. Because we are human we make these mistakes thinking we must be a bother or that they don't hear us if we think to them instead of saying out loud. They can hear us either way! Lol 😆 we do this shit all the time. Spirits have so much patience for us. Thats for sure. Sometimes I feel bad for Erik having to deal with my smart assy-ass. Then again, no, I don't feel bad.

Omg totally unrelated 😆

Rick said he loves me and I responded with just to be sly...

Yeah, I love me too! 😜

Then Rick laughed but I thought about it for a minute, it actually makes sense. Lmao 🤣 because my TF IS me! Its a funny way of saying the truth. Rick knows my situation with Erik so I'm surprised he hasn't picked it up. It cracked me up though.

😘💕 Good night!

[in-a-cave-with]

can you make a list of every mavel comic you've ever read (good and bad) i just finished iron man (1998) and i thoroughly loved it with all its best and weird bits

GOOD™

iron man stuff:

tales of suspense (1963) – a classic. 100/10. would read several times

iron man vol 1 (1968) – i’m on, like, issue 20 out of 300 something but it’s also very very good! the drama..the action……..wig

iron man vol 3 (1998) – obv i know youve read this one anon but for anyone out there starting comics this one’s SUPER good, and also Love Is Stored In The Tonyru

iron man vol 4 (2005) – listen this comic. so great, so iconic. maya hansen! epic fights! director stark! good art except for, like, the 6 issues of execute program but execute program is such a good story arc that you wont even notice! 

iron man noir (2010) – INDIANA JONES AU TONY STARK, LITERALLY THE BEST CONCEPT MARVEL’S COME UP WITH. PEAK COMICS IRONFAM

iron man legacy (2010) – i enjoyed this one a lot! i’m kind of confused as to, like, what’s going on but it’s fun

iron man season one (2013) – ok so this is, like, a modern remake of tony’s origin story and it’s..kind of average imo but thats ok! bc you can just look at the very very pretty pictures

iron man fatal frontier (2013) – tony becomes governor of the moon and fights doom! also he takes down an ai with weaponized fanfiction somewhere in there. read this one with a .cbr reader

invincible iron man vol 2 (2015) – gonna maybe fuck around and rec bendis’ entire iron man run bc . the art is gorgeous and the story isn’t the strongest but tony’s characterization is v good 

international iron man (2016) – ok i dont remember what happens in this one but alex maleev’s art is literally god 

invincible iron man vol 3 (2016) – RIRI WILLIAMS!!!! AND ALSO AI TONY STARK (MY SON MY BOY WHOM I LOVE)!!!!

other stuff:

new avengers vol 1 (2005) – as i have said before. new avengers GOT the sauce. stevetony and caroljess on one team was too powerful so marvel had to break em up with civil war . also stop reading this comic when you get to civil war

civil war: casualties of war (2007) and civil war: the confession (2007) – these are both oneshot comics and also the Only Civil War Content You Need To Subject Yourself To

spider-man noir (2010) – a break from the avengers stuff to tell you that this comic is very brutal and also very good

secret invasion (2010) – ok avengers emh did it better™ but this is still very neat! also it’s pretty trippy so its got that going for it too

siege (2010) – i dont understand what’s going on but the art is very good. also the avengers get to beat up norman osborn’s bitch ass

avengers prime (2011) – apparently this is the “stevetony bible” and …honestly there isn’t anything i can say in objection to that

avengers vol 4 (2010) – this comic is SUPER fun. after the fear itself tie ins the art and story get pretty eugh though so be careful

fear itself (2012) – BEST BEST BEST!!! my favorite crossover event in comics, with cool art and a badass storyline

captain marvel vol 4 (2012) – can we get a yeehaw for CAROL DANVERS . hell yeah. this is her first run with the name captain marvel and it’s Very Good

avengers: the enemy within (2014) – captain marvel vol 4 ends on a cliffhanger and the storyline’s capped off here

avengers vol 5 (2013) – ok so *clown noises* i haven’t exactly finished it but…this is the One Was Life The Other Was Death comic and it’s super good from what ive read so far

hawkeye (2013) – matt fraction’s run! everyone and their dog wants you to read it and you absolutely should if you have not. not too sure abt the volume numbering but heres a link to download in TPBs, it’s volumes 1-4

captain marvel vol 5 (2014) – this is the volume featuring chewie (!!) and carol in outer space with the guardians of the galaxy (!!!). super fun in general, would read again

ms marvel (2014) – again i am VERY confused as to what the official issue/volume numbering is, but here’s a list of TPBs that collect pretty much every kamala khan comic pre 2019 (im gonna rec all of them bc kamala is a treasure)

doctor strange vol 3 (2015) – literally everything i want from a comic tbh, also chris bachalo’s art is amazing

marvel 1872 (2015) – no one actually calls this Stevetony Bible 2 but lbr it’s basically Stevetony Bible 2

all-new all-different avengers (2015) – BEST AVENGERS TEAM EVER. EVER. PLEASE BENDIS WHY DID YOU BREAK THIS TEAM UP IM SAD

the unbelievable gwenpool (2016) – oh god oh fuck it’s miss GWEN POOLE . this comic is super funny and also surprisingly heartfelt, plus the art is . mmm.

champions (2016) – the gen z superhero team, i love all of them so much. i can almost forgive marvel for ending anad avengers

hunt for wolverine: adamantium agenda (2018) – so this is, after 11 goddamn years, closure for the first civil war regarding tony and the new avengers that sided with steve. amazing.

the life of captain marvel (2018) – the carol origin retcon is…eh. but it’s still very good! think of it as carol’s international iron man

avengers: back to basics (2018) – kamala goes back in time and accidentally reveals tony’s secret identity and it’s the funniest fucking thing

captain marvel (2019) – the first issue is everyone bullying tony which sucks but DONT LET THAT GET YOU DOWN bc it’s, like, actually good and also tony appears more in later issues without getting bullied

war of realms (2019) – i guess it’s a marvel rule that all crossover comics having to do with asgard are Top Notch? anyway

loki (2019) – AMAZING loki shenanigans and also the REAL reason you needed to read war of realms tbh

ironheart (2019) – gosh i love riri williams so much she’s so GREAT and you should DEFINITELY READ THIS

QUESTIONABLE™:

invincible iron man vol 1 (2008) – matt fraction’s iron man run…it’s ..ok story wise? however the characterization is a lil off at times and the art is HORRIBLE

iron man vol 5 (2013) – ok so this comic is super weird ? because it’s nice that tony spends time out in space but also it confirms that he’s a furry apparently. pretty much the only truly average iron man comic

avengers vol 8 (2018) – okay so i really like the art and the story’s okay but there’s a bit where tony flirts w carol and it’s the most ooc thing ive ever seen and that’s enough to land it in the questionable category

tony stark: iron man (2018) – i debated over whether to put this here or in the Bad™ category BUT valerio schiti’s art is too beautiful and the rhodeytony content fuels me. also issues 12 and 13 (war of realms) written by gail simone are pretty good. unfortunately dan slott wrote the rest and it AINT IT CHIEF

gwenpool strikes back (2019) – it starts off strong in the first issue but goes downhill from there and tbh it’s not really respectful of the previous gwenpool run

magnificent ms marvel (2019) – ok listen i love kamala a lot but if theres gonna be a romance plot between her and bruno it’s the electric chair

BAD. AVOID AT ALL COSTS™

iron man vol 2 (1996) – just. don’t touch this. it’s a hot mess

civil war (2006) – i hate this. so much. it’s unreal. all you need to know is that steve was real close to killing tony in the end but surrendered when he saw that he no longer had the moral high ground. and also steve got assassinated right before he was going to be put on trial

mighty avengers (2007) – this comic had the potential to be SO good. unfortunately the artists for the actual avengers issues don’t respect women at all

superior iron man (2015) – they made tony evil and i could not be more angry with it. who even fucking wants to read this theres not even any emotional payoff for any of this

civil war ii (2016) – i would hit this stupid comic in the knees if i could. there is not a single c*vil w*r with rights. all you need to know is that carol put tony into a coma and it’s super ooc

iron man 2020 (2020) – listen i know this comic hasn’t come out yet but it has all the ingredients to be EVEN WORSE than superior iron man which is saying a lot.

this took way too much effort

[floorbed]

pen playlist tiem. brain full of thoughts i think this is my longest playlist ever . lyrics and annotation and sections under the cut for funsies heh

home

me and my husband - mitski

and i am the idiot with a painted face / in the corner taking up space / but when he walks in i am loved / i am loved / me and my husband we’re doing better / it’s always been just him and me together / so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow / and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together

turf war - momma

the kings and queens are on the court / they’re sitting pretty on the floor

this charming man - the smiths

a jumped up pantry boy / who never knew his place / he said return the ring / he knows so much about these things / he knows so much about these things

utopia - cowgirl clue

living in a great utopia is quite nice is quite nice / living in a great utopia you pay the price you pay the price / living in a great utopia roll the dice kiss goodbye / living the dream living the dream living the dream

bubblegum bitch - marina and the diamonds

got a figure like a pin up got a figure like a doll / don’t care if you think i’m dumb i don’t care at all / candy bear sweetie pie wanna be adored / i’m the girl you’d die for / i’ll chew you up and spit you out / cus that’s what young love is all about

…

oh dear diary, i met a boy

(do the) act like you never met me - tv girl

the hidden kisses / the clumsy conspiratory glance / but i don’t really mind it no / i always liked the way you danced

it will come back - hozier

don’t give it a hand / offer it a soul / honey make this easy / leave it to the land / this is what it knows / honey that’s how it sleeps / don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ don’t be kind to it / honey don’t feed it it will come back

real men - mitski

little boys cry and look around for comfort and / always get what they want

song against sex - neutral milk hotel

and he said oh boy you are so pretty / enough to wrap tight in rice paper string / and when i finally kissed him / the whole world began to ring / lost like a bell that’s tipping over / with two cracks along both sides / and i knew the world was over / so i took a look outside

(running away before the trial and seeing the world for the first time vibes!)

exile, early party

april and the phantom - animal collective

i’m sorry april / but you’ll be fine till then / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom

(Pens First Summoning Dot Mp3)

insects are all around us - money mark

(from pens very first introduction in session 1 when he was walking in the woods and was described like looking like a lil insect)

bug - alex g

and when you go there / you stay there / bug in the crosshair / you stay there

king of carrot flowers pt 2 & 3 - neutral milk hotel

i love you jesus christ / jesus christ i love you yes i do

you’ll miss me when i’m not around - grimes

if you don’t bleed then you don’t die / cross my heart and hope to fly / if you like it then you’ll make it out alive / if they could see me now / smiling six feet underground / i’ll tie my feet to rocks and drown / you’ll miss me when i’m not around

rich bitch juice (HANA remix) - alice longyu gao

don’t you dare talk to me / bitch

fool - moonbounce

you could’ve let me think im right / i could’ve tried to keep my cool / i could’ve followed my own rules / i could’ve used you like a tool / i could’ve played a fucking fool

isle

hooped earrings - the front bottoms 

and you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / yeah you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / and there are not so many options / there’s not so many ways that this could possibly end / so you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again

wicked boy - alex g 

real men walk / on the outside / on the outside / on the outside / and they take it for the team

black hair - alex g

it’s not what you are / it’s just what you did / don’t hang up the phone / i love you to death / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return 

rabbit heart - florence & the machine

this is a gift it comes with a price / who is the lamb and who is the knife / when minas is king and he holds me so tight / and turns me to gold in the sunlight

oh ana - mother mother

i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god today / hop up on a cloud and watch the world decay

i am my own hell - teen suicide

i’m learning all kinds of tricks / how to drain the blood from my face

brick - alex g

i know that you’re lying / you think i don’t but i always fucking do

come back - alex g

made my promise and i’m keeping it for kicks / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this

river of the night 

trick - alex g

(this is what his Contract Signing Dream sounded like that’s all)

call this # now - the garden

call this number now / if you wanna check it out / well just do yourself a favor and just call this number now / call this number now 

long way down - teen suicide

you’re a spoiled kid who’s never gonna get / anything that you deserve / i know this life’s gonna be just fine / but with any luck you know the next one’s gonna hurt

business man - mother mother

talkin bout the business man / devil with a sunday plan / buddy with a stupid laugh / just talkin bout the business man / pretty little baby / pretty little monster / went to the good school / left with honors

king rat - modest mouse

deep water / deep water / senseless denial / i went down like a rag doll rat of a child

oh lucky lucky lucky lucky me again / i said it looks like i’ve got to use my feet again / well i just spent my last one hundred dollars / god i’ll pay my bill again 

after dying and being saved

new gods - grimes

hands reaching out to new gods / you can’t give me what i want / but what do i know? / i wanna i wanna i wanna let go / i wear black eyeliner / black attire yeah / so take me higher and higher and higher

…

only brand new gods can save me

home again - carole king

sometimes i wonder if i’m ever gonna make it home again / it’s so far and out of sight / i really need someone to talk to and nobody else / knows how to comfort me tonight / snow is cold rain is wet / chills my soul through the marrow / i won’t be happy till i see you alone again / till i’m home again and feeling right

miracle - paramore

and have i told you / i’m not going / cuz i’ve been waiting for a miracle / and i’m not leaving / i won’t let you / let you give up on a miracle / when it might save you

(Pen And Ori. Pen Telling Ori He’s Not Going To Stay At The Castle [Bc He Couldnt Imagine Not Seeing Her Everyday.] Pens Naive Optimism + His Want T.o Make Her Feel Better Abt The Future and The World And Everything)

dinner and diatribes - hozier

i knew it from the first look of / the look of mischief in your eyes / friends are a fate that befell me / head is the talking type / i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me / what you’d do to me tonight

(Pen And Juni Anthem)

funny - the scary jokes

and i laughed and i laughed and i gasped and i cried / and i tried not to think of my love as a punchline / but i knew the truth would catch up with me sometime / and oh what a funny joke am i

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3)

pretty funny - dogfight (lindsay mendez)

isn’t it funny?  isn’t it funny?  aren’t you funny? / pathetically naive and desperate to believe you could always find some good / well you misunderstood or you’ve been dreaming / cus people are just cruel

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3 Part 2)

until it goes - john congleton

oh my vengeance i swear will be biblical

…

my bride my bride how do i silence / this restlessness inside me / inside i see it kneeling through keyholes / my bride i need no absolution / on this day of my execution / just stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me until the horror goes

(abandonment issues pen be like *stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me noises*. also one day i want pen to hurt everyone who has severely fucked with him and thats all [m****** and d******])

beautiful - carole king

you’ve got to get up every morning / with a smile on your face / and show the world all the love in your heart / then people gonna treat you better / youre gonna find yes you will / that you’re beautiful as you feel

don’t ask me to explain - of montreal

i’d like to marry all of my close friends / live in a big house together by an angry sea / am i the devil’s marbles don’t move on without me / who will be watching my body when i sleep / who will i believe in

(Pen Be Like I Love Ori And Juni And Alba And That Is My Disease. )

100 years - florence welch

i believe in you /and in our hearts we know the truth / and i believe in love / even the darker it gets the more i do / you try and fill us with your hate and we will shine a light / and the days will become endless / and never turn to night

...

a hundred arms / a hundred years / you can always find me here / and lord don’t let me break this / let me hold it lightly / give me arms to pray with / instead of ones that hold too tightly 

[minecraftoworymode]

bob the old builders

#OK I KNOW WANDA PAINTED THIS I JUST KNOW SHE DID #WHY DID THEY CUT THIS THUIS SO FUNNY #MCSM #also the steve placeholder.. bro im telling u.. they keep confirming my lore #it keeps Happening #Many Thoughts Head Full. #ok but the fact its Just Fred raises many questions like binta knew about xara and rom but they arent considered on the same level as fred #even though the three of them created the universe together... so is it just like the three divided communities rewriting their own religio #steve here is very likely just a placeholder like hes been in concept art before but like... i have no doubt in my mind soren would be here #i stand by my fucking lore to the grave that the first ever steve avatars were the first builders and soren was a part of them #and thats THAT. on THAT. period.

@b0x​ TO BORROW A PHRASE, YOUR THIRD EYE IS NOT ONLY OPEN BUT SHOOTING DEADLY LASERS (I HOPE ITS OK TO TAG YOU/SHOW YOUR TAGS AHHGHHDFHGDFHGK) I’D LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR LORE?!?!? N AS AN OFFERING I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND MY OWN THOTS ON THESE FUNKY LITTLE CUBES

(related to my ideas on classes and worlds)

SO steve n alex do factor in to my mcsm au but they weren’t the first humans (or humans at all for that matter but. thats another post)- those would indeed be the old builders (tho i also like to call them ‘moderators/mods’ bc, ha ha admins and mods... n i kind of like the idea of referring to them collectively as the moderation bc none of them have ANY impulse control except maybe soren and otto once every century or so.)

i think the admins took on (at the very least) three “proteges” among them and we meet most in game. i’ll be naming the groups by the time-honoured convention of ‘shared flawed mindset that bites them in the tushie’.

“WHO NEEDS HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS WHEN YOU HAVE GODLIKE POWERS? IF I’M HAVING FUN EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD BE TOO!”: mevia, hadrian, cassie rose, with romeo’s favourite probably being hadrian. all obsessed with being extra, getting what they want, and being generally choleric. i mean you couldn’t just sit down and talk things out like a reasonable adult, you had to build a death mansion murder mystery complete with scooby doo style killersona? you couldn’t just keep your games fun and balanced, you HAD to turn it into a minecraft hunger games where no one is there by choice just so you can be amused by the struggles of people you dont see as people? you couldn’t just offer a good enough reward to entice jesse to come to your icy palace of doom willingly, you had to trash their town and then threaten their entire world?? guys, please go to therapy. please.

"I KNOW THIS SITUATION ISN’T RIGHT BUT I NEED WAIT UNTIL I CAN BE SURE I’M MAKING THE BEST AND FAIREST DECISION I- OOPS THERE GOES MY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY TO ACT. WELP, TIME TO TRIP AND SPILL ALL MY TICTACS”: otto, soren, (binta?? i have no canon justification for this one but making it make sense is,,, another post ghklfHGLKD). as it seems that the old builders all have (or had until it got stolen/destroyed) an enchanted flint and steel, soren having had one would explain his books being in almost every other world the gang visits (including, notably, fred’s keep in the underneath..). though it doesn’t explain why soren’s ended up in a random loot chest. (at least, canon doesn’t- i have som hcs about why soren wouldn’t want to draw the admin’s attention to himself, n using a flint and steel would definitely do that- so in this case it was probably ivor’s crowbrain going “ooo, shiny artifact! might as well steal that too for when i’m done with this whole command block stuff.”)

“I’M ABOUT TO GO ABSOLUTELY OFF THE SHITS AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME. MAY MY PATRON SAINT MUMBO JUMBO BE WITH ME TODAY, BECAUSE THIS MAY OR MAY NOT GO HORRIBLY WRONG. FOR SCIENCE!!!”: harper, isa, (yeah i dont really know who could be the third one in canon- idt ellegaard was an old builder- so this ones a big ole ???), with harper being xara’s favourite. admittedly i’m not sure about isa, she’s only really here because of the eversource- but considering the only others who mention those are the old builders, well... wrt isa’s lack of old builder powers, i think that xara’s old builders liked to try doing things that had never been done before (or any visionary-aligned individuals, really,, hence the name ghklfdhglkd). for harper that was building pokemon red in minecraft pama, and for isa that was renouncing her old builder powers so as to live amongst her people like one of them (tho this was more of a social experiment).

finally, the purpose of the old builders (DELVING STRAIGHT INTO HC TERRITORY HERE)- in addition to having beings to interact with other than the villagers- were to be sort of microcosms of what romeo is/was to the mcsm universe as operator/op, but for individual worlds (bc the admins aren’t going to be in all of them at once, even if they can inhabit multiple bodies). the role of the operator is to be the creator and catalyst, to keep the universe/server running, to introduce new factors into it so that it can grow and become something better than it was before. (this also means that romeo literally cannot die/be killed, bc the universe is dependent on his existence.)

it’s not that worlds can’t take care of themselves, but in the event of potentially catastrophic threats emerging, it’d be good to have someone with admin powers lite to step in and stop things before things escalated n potentially spread to other worlds- tho only as a very very very last resort, bc otherwise how are u gonna farm champions?

anyhow this post is getting. pretty loNG so, on a last note- my stance on canon lore (esp mcsm lore, or what little of it there is) is that they’re more guidelines than actual rules so i’ll admit some of my au (new game +) does just yeet canon, tho i tried to keep the absolute wildest shit out of this post. again, i’d be SUPER interested in hearing more about your own takes on the lore/plot/literally any aspect of this game?!?!?! my hyperfixation level has been at 418% for the past few months and it hasnt gone down and i am. s o thirsty for content... i hoPE IT WASN’T PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME TO MAKE THIS POST N ALSO THAT UR HAVING A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/PERIOD OF THE 24-HOUR CYCLE WE BASE OUR LIVES UPON AAAAAAA

[wildtorres-a]

surprise, surprise.

WHAT? —  when drew finds lia outside of the torres household at an odd hour, he invites her in, and in turn receives some news that is sure to change both of their lives.

WHEN? —   saturday night, april 11th.

TRIGGERS? —  pregnancy, mention of drugs, mention of death.

FEATURING —  lia rosenburg ( @rosenburg-lia ), brief appearance of mike dallas ( @dallas-micheal )

i cant be pregnant, theres not a possibly way this shit is correct That was all that was going through Lias mind since the night prior. A very restless night of tossing and turning with dreams and nightmares of what was to come. One second dreaming about the perfect white picket fence life, Drew playing catch with their son in the yard. Amelia cooking in the kitchen with their daughter as the animals roamed around. The next her and Drew at each others throats, no ounce of happiness shining on either of their faces. Waking up and staring at the ceiling while she thought of every scenario her little brain could.

Thats how she found herself outside of the Torres residence, creeping down the side of the house. She knew better than to knock on the front door, it was almost midnight and the last thing she needed was Audra on her case for coming to her house so late. She cautiously knocked on the sliding glass door, hoping either Drew or Dallas heard her. Her body shaking, maybe from the frigid Canadian nights and her thin tracksuit. Or maybe it was the anxiety flowing through every ounce of her body as she continued to knock.

drew had alot on his mind, to say the least. he had just gotten back from edmonton a few hours prior, and all he wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. he didn’t have any more emotions to give for the night, was both physically and emotionally exhausted. he figured he’d talk to both omar and audra about alex the following day, and see if there was anything they could do to reunite the siblings. figuring that he could at least eat a bowl of cereal, being that he hadn't eaten anything all day, he started making his way down the steps and towards the kitchen.

it's only a few seconds later, that he hears the gentle knocks against the glass, and he raises his eyebrows in confusion at who it could be, especially at this time at night. he makes his way over, moving the curtain to see the girl he’d been thinking about since he got home, amongst all the chaos. quickly, he unlocks the door, opens it, and pulls her in. “lia, what are you doing here?” he questions, not unhappy to see her. “you’re freezing,” he comments, pulling his nike jacket off and draping it around her petite shoulders. “come on,” he grabs her hand, and leads her up to his room, forgetting about what he'd initially went downstairs for. thankful that everyone else is asleep, he closes the door before making his way over to her and connecting their lips.

she saw his figure as he came downstairs, even in the barely there lighting she could tell it was him. she wasnt sure what to expect, the last time she had laid eyes on him she slapped him. but she didnt know what else to do at this stage, she had already spoken to Vanessa, put it out into the universe. drew was her best friend once, she should be able to just talk to him about it, she hoped anyway.

Her face lit up, not that she was aware, or if drew had even noticed. But the second her eyes landed on his face, you could see something in her perk up. even with the hostility she held towards the boy at the moment, he always held a special place in her heart and it felt nice to see him again. "I needed to talk to you," She spoke softly, her eyes meeting his for a second, "thank you," sliding her arms through the jacket and tugging it around her petite frame. her eyes trail to their hands, a soft smile on her lips as she followed him to his room. Taking the brief second to look around before his lips were on hers. Almost forgetting the reason she came as she melted into it. A few minutes into the heated makeout session, it was like a spark in Lia as she pushed Drew away, "No, we need to talk," She spoke sharply, as if realizing she had made a mistake or something. She hadnt meant to come and hook up with Drew, that had been the furthest thing from her mind. "Plus someone said he wasnt good for me," She spoke with a pointed tone as she sat on his bed, tucking her legs into a pretzel shape.

the brunette had been trying to make sense of his thoughts about the girl he’d been trying to avoid for the past week. trying to decide if they had done the right thing that memorable night, if they ruined their friendship, in the right way or wrong. it was clear that the thought of her hadn’t left his mind, the feel of her lip gloss against his lips, how something as simple as her touch made him fill with warmth, the way her eyes shined when he made her laugh or smile. he’s not sure exactly what this entails, but there’s some part of him that’s kicking himself for not having seen this before. how was it possible that amelia rosenburg had been there all this time, and he was only now noticing how great she really was.

and suddenly he's so glad that she’s here. not even just for sex, now having noticed just how hard it was to stay away from her. wanting to text her every time he heard a funny joke, or came up with an idea for their next scheme, or just wanting to hear about her day. — and still, he liked her enough to keep his distance, she deserved far more than he could give her, everyone did. “i’m all ears,” he says once they're in the room. lips moving along with hers in sync, tongue slipping into her mouth, until suddenly she pulls away. still wanting to be near to her, he sits down beside her, and pulls her soft hand back into his, bringing her closer. “i think we’ve established that i’m an idiot,” he grins, before letting out a sigh, “but i’m not, good for you. still i have something to tell you,” he gazes into her eyes, “i wasn’t at a motel fucking some girl, i was… looking for my birth mom. she-” still has great difficulty uttering the words, and yet he swallows and tries again. “she overdosed about three months ago, and she left because she never wanted me,” hold backs the pain that washes over him, but can’t stop his jaw from clenching. “i thought about her for years, and she just didn't want me” the words fall from his lips slowly, taking it all in.

while lias feelings hadnt stayed the same about drew the whole friendship, she knew for certain he was a staple in her life. sophomore year lia wouldve been more than ecstatic to find out what had transpired between the teens. her feelings for the male at an all time high, something had been telling her that he had felt the same back then. only to find out he was with her cousin, and she was happy for them. but there was something about how easily he made things feel okay. made her feel happy with a simple text, if something happened in her day her first instinct was to send him a long snapchat about it.  spamming him with memes on hastygram, the little things they did for eachother. but now, things had changed, and all the feelings she pushed down, pushed away because she knew their happiness was important. they came bubbling up, the only thing circling her mind being drew torres, and what a lovely thought it was.

finding herself in his room, the air thick with several emotions, each more unknown than the last. but it felt okay, felt right to be there with him. suddenly realizing how much she needed him, he made the little things important. he knew her little quirks and habits, if there was a dog he had to point it out if she hadnt seen it already, so she could go pet it, and he became her photographer for it. he knew her coffee order like it was nothing, if they went out to eat he knew her order, knowing to get the tomatos out of all burgers or salads. he paid attention to the details, and it made lia feel cared for. by someone in her life, for something other than her body or connections. Shifting closer to the male, her hand wrapping around his,"Youve always been an idiot," she joked, shaking her head lightly, before resting it on his shoulder, "Youre great for me Drew, why cant you understand that?" She spoke softly, lifting her head as she turned to face him. Meeting his gaze, her thumb softly rubbing circles on the back of his hand as he spoke.

She listened as he spoke, letting him get out what he needed to. But she also didnt know what to say, she hadnt expected the words that had fallen from his lips. "Im sorry you had to find out the way you did, I cant even begin to imagine how that feels. Nor will I pretend to know how youre feeling right now," She spoke, knowing that would never be enough for him to hear. shuffling herself closer, wrapping herself around him in a hug. "But with that being said," She began, taking a deep breath, "Im sorry that she choose drugs over an amazing man with a heart of gold. Someone who looks for the best in people, and just wants to grow and become better. I know you dont see it, you see the bad. But god Drew, there is so much good," She spoke, glancing up to meet his gaze as she spoke. "Its her fault for choosing not to be a part of your life, her fault for choosing the substances over you. You can not put any blame on yourself baby, none of it is your fault," She spoke, not sure if he had even felt that way, but it felt right to say.

drew knew that this situation wasn’t the best, him having dated her cousin only a year earlier. had fallen in love quickly amongst the many late nights staying up on the phone, the many days spent either hanging with their larger group of friends or interesting dates, and getting to know each other’s each and every detail. it was unbelievable to think that just a few months ago, drew was venting to lia about tori’s all but expected disappearing act. they quickly become closer than they had when tori was present, drew often hanging out with lia when his thoughts became too much. and in those moments, although he hadn’t really noticed it, he stared to pick up on her details. not really giving it a second thought, he placed her on the same shelf that vanessa and becky were on, chalking her up as another best friend. now that things had drastically changed between them, he indeed knew it was messy to be romantically involved with both cousins, even more so them being as close as they are, and degrassi would have a field day when they catch wind of what’s been going on behind closed doors. but he can’t find himself to care, at least not enough to fully walk away. to put an end to whatever it is that they have going on, and tell her it couldn’t go any further, hoping things could go back to how they were. she’d been his rock all along. loyal and sweet and always there for him, wanting nothing in return but his company.

he grins at her remark, knowing that in a sense, she’s never really viewed him as an idiot, at least not the way he’s been labeled his whole life. finds solace under her touch. he shakes her head at her words, although some part of him wants to believe her. to believe that he’d do anybody good. but god, he ruins everything he touches. “because i’m not, lia,” he remarks, “i'm not as smart as the other guys. i mess up. i always say or do the wrong thing. you’re better off”

he finishes, holds his emotions in as well as he can, has already told himself that he wouldn’t drop another tear. and he draws a breath, and allows her to comfort him. doesn’t shy away or tell her that she’s wrong, just leans into her embrace, and lets her words sink in, having already shown her his vulnerability. can’t help the pull at his heart strings as she talks further, silently wondering what it was he'd done to get someone like her in his life. many girls have talked drew up, seeing only his features — sharp cheekbones, electric blue eyes, handsome face, and the rebellious personality to match. nothing any of them have ever said has effected him in the way she had right now, only speaking with raw emotion, her eyes telling it all. he cups her right cheek, slowly leaning in and giving her a kiss full of passion, not even attempting to slip his tongue in, more concerned with her getting a feel for the emotions he has stored for her. pulling away, he removes his hand. “thank you,” he smiles, weakly, but still there. “for everything. you’re seriously amazing,” he compliments. his mind going back to her initial statement, recalling the faint urgency in her voice as she pulled away from the first kiss he brought upon her lips. knows when something’s bothering her and is intrigued on what it is she has to tell him. “now, what did you need to tell me?” curiosity shining in blue hues.

it seemed like the world had been moving in fast forward the past couple of months, between the closest females in her life both leaving and coming back, her connection to both luke and drew growing over the course of them. while Luke would always hold a part of Lias heart, since they spent day in and day out with one another, drew captivated her. she just wanted to know if he was ok, that he felt cared for and wanted, chalking it up to being a good friend. But she also found herself wanting to just spend time with Drew, even if they were sat in silence, his presence was enough to make the dark seem light in her insane life. And maybe she knew there was always a thought in the back of her mind, the idea of something more. And if you were to tell her this time last year, that she'd find herself wrapped around Drew Torres  going to tell him she was pregnant, she'd label you as crazy.

She rolled her eyes at his words, "Im not as smart as the other girls, i tend to become a bitch if I dont get my way, i use money as a means of happiness when its not. My list could go on and on drew," She spoke, "We all have our issues, our flaws that we look in the mirror and point out. Or say to ourselves with that little voice. And I will be here to show you how amazing you are when it gets to loud," A smile sent his way, "I couldnt begin to imagine life without you Torres, so please dont try and leave it,"

his touch felt gentle on her skin, different than the other moments between them. this was something different, there was something laced in the kiss between both parties. but she still found herself sinking into it, feeling on top of the world at the feeling she got. something telling her everything would be ok. "I wouldnt say amazing, but ill always be here," A small shrug, before her eyes trained to a spot on the floor. Slowly unraveling herself from Drew, as she thought of what to say. Partially because through Drew unloading his story, she had semi forgotten why she had came there in the first place. How do you tell someone youre pregnant? Let alone the last person you ever thought would be in the position with you, and had just informed you of his own family problems, that he didnt need added to. Her fingers pulling and spinning the ring sat on her hand, her gaze unwavering from the pile of clothes sat on his floor. "Um," she began lightly, "I wasnt feeling all that well, and I had realized I missed my period," her fidgeting becoming faster as her mind worked over the words. Admitting them to Vanessa was different, vastly different than telling Drew. She glanced up briefly meeting his eyes before her gaze fell back to the floor, "So I headed to the little corner store from my place," A deep breath as she quietly, almost silently spoke, "The test came back positive drew,"

it was no secret that ever since he stepped foot, or wheel rather, back in toronto, his mind couldn’t find anything good to focus on. in the span of one night, he’d uncovered the reason his mother had left, uncovered that she had given up both her children, that he had a sister he’s never known about that was fifteen years old, adopted, and didn’t have a clue about her dysfunctional family, and the fact that he’d never receive the closure he’d been needing for so long. only having the words of her former boyfriend to go by. he hadn’t really expected to talk about it with anyone, forcing it down, and having the mindset of just going numb, avoiding the thoughts at all costs. and yet, found himself venting to lia the first chance he gets. something about her had always been so comforting, so understanding, and drew doesn’t think he could have felt better about opening up to anyone else. another part of him wanting her to know that she’s the only girl he’s been with sexually for weeks, hell, he hasn’t even been entertaining other girls, unread messages from his usual conquests building up in his phone.

as he hears her start to list her flaws, he frowns a bit, knowing that she’s only doing it because he had, to prove a point. but he can't help but hope she gives herself a little more credit than that. “i happen to think you’re perfect,” he comments, letting her continue, until there’s a bright smile on his face. realizing that in all of this mess, all of the bad thoughts, and words he hadn’t meant, and just attempting to dodge her in general had hurt her. the expression of pure sadness that flashed across her face when he pushed her away at the party, the smack she’d given him at school, he’d been stupid to think that it would last long, stupid to have ever started it. “i’m sorry,” he gets out, “for acting like an ass and pushing you away, you deserve better than that, and i want you in my life too” he gives her a charming smile, although his eyes shine with honesty.

this would be the fifth time he had been rendered speechless. the anticipation of what would end up leaving her lips, what happened to be so important that she’d made her way here in the middle of the night, a quarter to midnight. with it being so late, he feels she should just stay the night. audra had the day off tomorrow, and with his luck, she slept in till the afternoon, giving the two enough time to come up with the story that she’d come over earlier in the morning if she was still here by then. as lia moves away, drew can’t help the furrow of his eyebrows, and the assumption that whatever it was she’d say wouldn’t be something small. takes note of her timid actions, the way she doesn’t meet his eyes as she talks. and then the words ‘missed period’ sets an alarm off in his head. his eyes widening, along with the beat of his heart, as she continues. stops himself from asking ‘and?’ allowing her to go at his own pace. and his mind flashes back to that night, the rush of it all, the sensual touches, heavy breathing, and the lack of condom, as he spread her legs and lined himself up. too eager to feel all of her, he hadn’t even given it a second thought. and suddenly she’s saying the words he anticipated, and even though he had a feeling where this was going, it still catches him completely off guard. “i–” he starts, doesn’t finish, runs a hand through his hair, as he processes all of the information. “woah,” he breathes out, the words repeating in his mind over and over on a loop. meeting her eyes, he glances over her, can’t stop his eyes from trailing over her stomach. “it–it’s okay, are you okay? do you need some water, or some ice cream? cause i can run to the store,” he's rambling a mile a minute, still in partial shock.

Everything was easier with Drew around, she didnt have to act a certain way or put up any defensive barriers. she had never been one to open up to a lot of people and tell them her thoughts and feelings. let alone on a consistent basis if she did, choosing to pretend that everything was find and that she didnt have any. but with drew she would just talk about things, whatever came to mind she would share with him. knowing he would listen, maybe make a stupid comment, but hed listen. that was what she needed for so long, just someone to listen to her and show her she was cared for. that was part of what Drew did for her, made the dark seem a little lighter. she had felt herself pulling from the other guys in her life, even Luke who she had finally got where she thought she wanted him. but she found herself wanting drew, in more ways than one. but she didnt know how to articulate that to him, to explain what she wanted from whatever it was they had been doing.

"Perfect may be a bit of a stretch," she chuckled, "But go on," She teased, a matching smile coming to her face. she hated admitting her weaknesses, and when she couldnt hide her emotions from Drew at the party it was like a part of her exterior cracked. the walls she had formed between the two had been broken, and she realized she was back in love with him, or the idea of him for now. she didnt like the idea of a life without him in it, and hated feeling like she was disposable from his life. She didnt enjoy slapping him at school, but the petty bitch in her had taken over, and she was putting the walls back up piece by piece. hoping it wouldve helped her feel better, to work through what was happening, but it didnt. "I dont know why you did it, but Im sure you had your reasons," She shrugged, "But dont think Im gonna let it fly again. You are stuck with me Torres, learn to deal with it," She spoke, a smile spreading across her features as she sent a wink his way.

She didnt know how he would react, expecting anger, or confusion. maybe some accusations or denial. she wasnt positive if they had used a condom or not, she didnt remember seeing a single wrapper around the hotel room. and she sure hadnt brought any on their spontaneous trip, and she didnt think drew had either. when she saw the word pregnant on the stick, her world shifted. but she could remember the night clear as day, every touch, every breath, every word, and even the moment she felt him skin to skin in the most intimate way. she was nervous for his reaction, glancing at him with watchful eyes as he processed it. her hand running through her hair with a sigh, waiting for him to say something, put her at ease somehow. but she didnt expect him to ask her about food, her brows scrunching together as she looked up at him,"I...why would I want food? its damn near midnight?" She spoke, shaking her head, "Im like a couple weeks at best, there is no way im out here craving ice cream already dumbass," She spoke with an eye roll, a teasing tone on her voice however, as a smile played at her lips. "But thank you, the effort is appreciated and not unnoticed,"

it wasn’t difficult to see that drew had a lot on his plate, his eyes didn’t have that same spark it always had, he hadn’t been able to focus in his classes despite the fact that clare was definitely a huge help and he’d been showing improvement the week before. every time he closed his eyes, he seen rocky’s face, his cheeks upwards in glee, his heartwarming giggle, the way his face lit up when he would bring him some toys or pizza. and now, it had only gotten worse, and he would see his mother’s grave as well. the white roses he’d laid before her tombstone, as he said both hello and goodbye the only chance he was given. it also wasn’t hard to see that being around lia in their small moments had managed to do him some good. finding himself forming a warm smile, or chuckling at one of her jokes, taking him out of the dark he’d lately gotten used to. it wasn’t unusual, them being friends for years, and drew finding it very easy to unwind around her. but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been thinking about them in a romantic dynamic, and he'd be lying even more if he said he didn’t consider it, taking their friendship to the next level, giving them a try to see where it leads, despite the backlash he knows he’ll receive for dating both cousins who consider the other as a best friend, the same cousin he assumes is soundly asleep in the guest room four doors down. but they’ve gone too far in to stop now, the way he sees it, it makes more sense to go for it, even if right now isn’t exactly the best time. perhaps he’ll wait, doesn’t want to have to hide around the beginning of their relationship if they do decide to make something out of it, wait until all of the chaos simmers down, before he makes any big decisions. and yet, he can't stop the part of him that yearns to kiss her whenever she’s nearby and the scent of her perfume clouds his thoughts.

“it definitely isn’t,” he counters, can’t help how easy it is to play along with her words. and he’s only now noticing that she doesn’t have to try too hard when the roles are reversed either. he accepts her request, eyes locked on hers. “you're gorgeous, and you're smart whether it’s street or book wise, you always go out of your way to help your friends, you’re fun as hell, and i haven't been able to get you out of my mind the past few days.” the surprise on his face is evident, not meaning to actually voice the last part, but it’s too late to take it back now. he had always found lia attractive, and now that he thought back, he never considered her a sister figure like he had with maya or vanessa. finds it ironic that a year ago, he was lifting her chin up to remind her how great she was, and to not forget it, had a boy she was interested in not felt the same way back. now he was lifting her chin to place his lips on hers. oh, how the times have changed. bites his lower lip, doesn’t want to repeat his reasons, knows that it’s no good now, since he can’t seem to let go. “what, are you gonna smack me again? cause that was kind of hot” he smirks, sending her the wink right back.

he's not certain if there’s a set reaction for this, a right or wrong. he does however know that his lack of words isn’t exactly comforting, and when he does manage to find words, he’s not exactly proud of them either.  but god, he’s trying his best. hadn’t really expected to have this conversation, but isn't at all making it out to be negative, despite their mess of a situation. he’s not even thinking of it long term, his mind trying to grasp it fully, but he's got too many thoughts, making it difficult to focus on one. he mentally face palms, as his right hand goes to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “yeah, that was pretty dumb, wasn’t it?” he asks, evidently embarrassed. he lets out a breath, taking her hand in his, and making sure he has her full attention. “but it’s gonna be okay, i’m here for you…always.” he reassures, “i’ll take care of you and the baby, whatever you decide.” he kisses her cheek, bringing her onto his lap. “stay with me here tonight?” he pleads, as his hand hesitantly hovers over her stomach, his mind trying to imagine a human growing inside. “and we can set up a doctor’s appointment one of these upcoming days. it’s going to be alright, baby. it’s all going to be okay.” he repeats, kissing against her hair. he's not sure if he believes it himself, but he can only imagine how she feels and he'd be damned if he wasn’t going to try his best to make her feel at ease.

For as long as she could remember, Lia had problems expressing her feelings to others, even if they were good ones. Her parents would always brush her off or give her a, that’s wonderful sweetie, even when she was a toddler, crying in the doorway, her stuffed dolphin held firmly in her grasp. If she went to her siblings, they werent accepting of her feelings, her being the youngest she didnt have nearly as much to deal with. That she was a kid and they wouldnt last, over within ten minutes. But that all stuck with Lia as she got older, forming her connections in the world. Tori being the main person she could find herself getting lost in conversation with, going over all the details on certain topics. And then Drew came into her life, and she had another person to talk to, someone that made it easy to talk to. But anyone with two eyes could see how easily the two souls fit together, how simple it was for the two to just exist. Lia had known from a young age she thought of Drew as more of a friend. She remembered distinctly the day she realized she saw him differently, as someone she could see herself with romantically. It had been a rough day for her at her house, a fight with her parents having broken out once again, and Lia needed out. A text to Drew was sent, and within seconds he replied and they agreed to meet at the park. It was midnight. She had never experienced someone caring enough to risk their own ass just to make sure she was ok, and they were barely friends then. But it solidified Drew into her heart, and the feelings she once held were back in full force. But she wasnt gonna ruin what they had, she wasnt gonna let herself ruin the one good thing going for her, even if it wasnt entirely what she wanted. But the part of her that wanted nothing more than to be held and kissed by Drew was thriving, and loved every second of their life. She was scared for the future, with her feelings, but she was prepared to let Drew have them if he wanted them.

A shy smile broke across her face, his eyes filled with such honesty she couldnt help the blush that was rising to her face at his words. Her eyes widening slightly at the end of his statement, taking in the look of shock on his face, but his eyes still held with honestly, and a little something else that she couldnt place. “That makes two of us,” She spoke softly, biting her lip. “You remember that guy I was complaining about breaking my heart last year?” She questioned, her heart skipping a beat as she spoke. A surge of confidence flowing through her, even if for a brief moment she let herself believe that he felt the same. Smiling into the soft kiss he gave her, her hand resting on his leg. Simply needing to just touch him. “Well if someone didnt try and do stupid shit maybe I wouldnt have to,” She chuckled, “Glad to know Im hot when im angry,” a small shrug with a smirk on her lips.

She let him go at his own pace, contemplating just laying down while she waited, but decided against that. She knew he was trying, and that was all she could ask. The thoughts going through her head were impossible to process, she couldnt imagine being the one to have gotten the girl pregnant. “It wasnt dumb,” she spoke with a small head shake, “Its cute,” A small smile on her face, her eyes glancing at their hands before looking at him. Her eyes tearing up at his words, never having heard them with such sincerity before. Allowing herself to be brought into Drews lap, breathing in his scent, her body instantly relaxing into his. Realizing just how tired she was, having barely slept for the past week. Between worrying about Drew and her fight with Tori, and now this pregnancy. She needed a good nights rest. “I know you will baby,” A whisper as she kissed the base of his neck softly, “I want nothing more than to wake up in your arms tomorrow,” her sleep deprived brain not even processing her words. Her eyes glancing down to his hand. Softly pressing it against her stomach, her hand resting against his as her eyes futtered shut. Listening to him speak, and nodding along softly with his words, “Youre here,” She spoke, “You didnt push me away, or yell at me. Or accuse me of anything. Thats more than enough for me,”

he recalls his first time seeing her, the memory still being so vivid, despite the years that have passed by. she was degrassi’s new student and from what he heard, she was turning heads and had most of the student body doing double takes. he'd seen her in the midst of meeting the coach to talk about his slip up in grades, knowing that he would be able to persuade him easily since his latest grade point average weren’t too much lower than the required minimum. and when he finally spotted her in the hallways, he’d understood what all the fuss was about. he hadn’t been the type to stare, at least not too noticeably, but he just couldn’t look away. she was pretty, gorgeous even, and the outfit she was wearing only made her all the more alluring. the skirt she had on wasn't too short, but he remembers trailing up and down her legs. remembers that he had to turn himself away, had to remind himself what he even was walking this way for, having lost all train of thought. and by lunch time, he’d spotted her out of the crowd with a quickness. dallas settling down, tray in hand, following his gaze. remembers his eyes scrunching up in confusion when dallas tells him to not waste his time. and minutes later, it all makes sense when tori and vanessa come to the table, new girl following behind, and tori introduces everyone to her cousin who’d just transferred. he recalls the visible shock that seeps past his face, before he smiles, greets her, invites her to their table for the long run, and pulls tori into his lap, pecking her on the cheek. by the end of the week, they'd all made friends with the girl, and it was as if she’d been apart of the group all along. no signs of awkwardness or hesitation among the group. drew pushing the two second interest and attraction he'd developed for her to the back of his mind, until it was completely gone. and now he wonders, if it ever really left, or if he knew to just not act on them.

that makes two of us. doesn’t stop the smile that stretches across his face, the breath that emits out in relief. he’d only had a half theory that she reciprocated the feelings, but now that he knows he hadn’t been in the wrong whenever the thought of her passed his mind, he’s not so doubtful anymore about asking her to be his girlfriend. yet, he still doesn’t think tonight's the best time, not when there’s so much to process. his eyebrows furrow a bit, “yeah? the idiot who couldn’t see what was right in front of him? what about him?” he questions, eyes looking intently into hers, before he smirks along with her. “oh, hot doesn’t even begin to describe it. you’re sexy when you’re angry” he chuckles softly, not wanting any of the household’s other occupants to hear him.

he knows that everything has changed tonight, just like it had the night they’d let themselves act on their feelings, cross faded no doubt, but cross faded on each other. every touch from the other, feeling like another shot or another hit of the blunt. he smiles at her, reveling in the fact that she didn’t think he was the idiot he was convinced he was. she’d never thought he was dumb, in fact, or at least she never mentioned it. it was the small things like that he appreciated the most about her. the reason he’d always come running whenever she needed. “you’re cute,” he counters, as she settles in his lap, and he feels at ease. resting his head on hers, something about the way they just fit, making him fill with warmth. everything between them right now felt so gentle, filled with emotions instead of their usual sensual touches, hot and needy, and still he feels the fire, albeit a different kind, under his skin as she kisses him softly on the neck. and when she grabs his hand, and leads it to her stomach, laying hers atop, he knows they can get through this together. knows that he wants to try. “of course i’m here, you’re,” he corrects himself, “the both of you are all i need right now” and maybe he’s tired, exhausted even, but he can’t help the smile that spreads at the thought of a little family. he stands, holding her up, and gently laying her down on the bed. “let me get you something to wear so you can be comfortable, and i can put on netflix,” he says, as he makes his way to one of the drawers, getting one of his long t-shirts he knows will cover most of her body, and smiles at the thought. he doesn’t really plan on watching the movie or show, more-so planning on it being background sound while they cuddle. he turns the light off, before making his way back to the bed, and handing her the remote, letting her choose.

she remembers all the distinct moments in their relationship. The first look, their first time talking, the first time she called him because she just wanted to talk, and the list goes on. he made an impression on her, the first time she walked the halls of degrassi. She had just transferred to the school, asking her parents after her assault, begging to be closer to her cousin. she needed to get away from the places and people she had surrounded herself with. finally making the move, she was excited, ready to meet new people and create a new name for herself. walking in, her heels clicking on the tiles as she walked, a small smirk on her face as she saw the looks she received. always relishing in the attention she received, even if it wasnt good attention. she spotted drew before he had spotted her, spotting him as she came around the corner. standing by his locker with who she'd later learn were Dallas, Luke, and Dave. A wide smile on his face as he threw his head back in laughter. she remembered finding his smile beautiful, one of the ones you just always wanted to seen plastered on their face. but she didnt learn his name, didnt approach the group. instead continued watching from afar as she went to her locker, a smirk on her face when she saw drew watching her, the way he had to pause to think about his actions. and she certainly remembered the small twinge of jealousy she felt when she watched him pull her cousin on his lap when she had finally learned his name. but they clicked, she meshed with the whole group, creating a close bond with all of them. Drew being a stronger one than the others, and her feelings growing as the days went on. until she was informed he had asked Tori out, and she felt her heart break, but had no right. neither party knew of her feelings for the boy, and she had to watch as they fell in love, a part of her kicking herself for never saying anything.

A matching smile spreads across her face, a sense of relaxation washing over her. He felt the same, she knew that by the smile. Where it was gonna go from there she wasnt sure, she knew what she wanted. She wanted to be his, to be able to call him hers, and she hoped that was what he wanted at the end of this. Even if not right now, at least when they were both ready, or felt ready to go public given the backlash they were already facing. But her head couldnt stop swarming with the idea of being with Drew, in all aspects of life, and the smile kept growing. Before chuckling lightly, raising a brow at the raven haired boy across from her, “The idiot had fallen for my cousin,” She spoke, biting her lip softly, “But he was a sweetheart about the situation, not knowing who I was upset about, just being there for me anyway,” She shrugged, “Pretty cool guy,” Rolling her eyes playfully at his words, “Youd love to see me jealous then,”

in that moment, she knew that everything was okay. While everything changed, even more than they're cross faded escapade. it felt different, something washed over the both of them that night, and it wasnt going away anytime soon. while they're usual antics were rushed, and sexual. a fire in them both, just from a look. and her body still felt on fire, but it was different. she felt loved, safe, and secure. something she had never felt before, it was new for her, scary even. but Drew made it all seem okay, made every little thing better.  it gave her a sense of comfort, knowing that at a single text or call Drew would be there. in whatever shape or form he could fathom, she knew he would be. "we're both cute," she spoke with a small giggle, almost like she was a little kid with her crush again. a soft smile at his words, "the both of us," she repeated, feeling them fall off her tongue. the words still felt foreign. but it felt right in a way, being there with Drew, and talking about it. about a family, even if its not right now, she knew a family with Drew was in her future, somehow someway, she just felt it. she allows herself to be placed on the bed, a smile as she watches him before she slips from her track suit. immediately slipping the shirt over her head, slipping under the blanket, curling up into it. taking the remote and putting on shameless, more so for background noise, and if she did want to pay attention she wouldn't be lost. turning back towards Drew, a small smile on her face as she curled into him. her head on his chest, one of her legs stretching over his own. "thank you for being so great. I dont know what I did to deserve you, but I'm forever grateful."

there were evident bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’d gotten the past few nights. too much tossing and turning and contemplating the new information he’d gotten out of the tragic loss. was he even able to cry? to miss a touch that he couldn’t place. was it selfish? to mourn someone you didn’t really know. to mourn a loss you didn’t really take. at least, not in the way others had. he’d spent many a night turning on netflix, hoping to get some type of distraction, only for the appeal to fade, and the gears in his head would be at work again. he turned to weed, opening the window and spraying a huge amount of cologne, hoping the smell hadn’t left his room, and even then, it only made him think of it more. the thoughts never leaving, and he knows if he knew now would he hadn’t then, he would of stayed home and saved himself the heartache. he even thought to reach out to the other teenagers in the house, but decided against it, talking about it, made it real and he couldn’t relive it. couldn’t get through all of the details, scared that once he started, he’d never stop. there's a part of him that knows him telling her what he had, wasn’t enough to ease the pain, and he was still very much holding it all in, the pain will eventually build up, and drew will have no choice but to let it consume him. it’s inevitable. but she was here, and he was laughing and smiling, and that was as much as a fix he could ask for tonight.

he recalls the upset look on her face, having come to pick her up from her parent’s house, at an hour that audra would definitely not have been happy with, but he’d heard the tone of her voice, and it took all of three minutes to slip on a jacket, grab his car keys, and head out to the car. he remembers taking her to the park, him finding any way he could to make her laugh, as they sat on the swings, him giving her a push every now and again. and as the wind picked up, and it got later, he finally asked her what was bothering her, despite it being on his mind the whole time. remembers holding her hands in his face, telling her to never cry over a boy, especially not one who was dumb enough to let her pass by, his voice comforting and friendly, as he tells her all of her good qualities and that anyone who didn't see that wasn’t worth it. now that he was back in the room, and she'd said what she had, he was slowly connecting the dots. ”it was me?” his eyes widen only a little, as he thinks back to all of the times it'd just been the three of them hanging out, the others having something to do. and suddenly, he feels like the world’s biggest idiot. feels bad about all of the times they’ve kissed or hugged or any form of affection in front of her. but there’s a hint of happiness there too, and he knows it’s wrong, but their situation isn’t exactly the most innocent anyways. “it was me,” he repeats, more of a statement this time, before he surges forward and pulls her into a passionate kiss, pulling back breathless. “aw damn, guess i’ll never get to see it, since you’re the only girl i’ve got my eyes on” lips curling into a smile.

“damn right,” drew smirks, “just imagine how cute our kid will be,” he jokes. it's all still new to him, but he's processing it, albeit only being told mere minutes ago. he knows they’ll be eighteen around the corner, and even though legally they were to be adults, everyone would still deem it irresponsible. and audra, he didn’t even want to imagine her reaction. but things weren’t all bad, perhaps he’s looking through rose colored glasses, but despite the bad timing, he could see the upsides. the football that was supposed to be rocky's sitting atop his dresser, and he feels hope, hope that if he has a son, or a daughter, he’s not picky, that they can share a bond just as strong. that he won’t be a failure of a parent. perhaps this baby will turn his whole life around, motivate him to become a better man. and as they lay against the sheets, him having slipped in beside her, so that he was on the outside, her closer to the wall, his arm drapes around her, as he chuckles at the intro of the show, only having seen a couple episodes, because she'd wanted to watch it. he slips his fingers through her locks, hoping that it’s relaxing her. “shh, there’s no one else i’d rather be with” he answers simply, “now get some sleep baby”

"it was you," she confirmed with a small nod, a soft smile playing her lips as she watched Drews face. The look of shock, then confusion, the brief flash of guilt that made her brows scrunch for a moment before a small giggle as she kissed him back. holding both sides of his face, a wide grin on her face and her eyes shining with nothing but love for the man sat before her. "our kid will be the cutest," she spoke, pushing all the negative thoughts out of her mind. her families reaction, the doctors appointments, the perception people would have on them as teen parents, all of it being shoved away as she found herself enamored with Drew. her body melting into his as her eyes closed, a soft kiss placed to his chest before she fell asleep, nothing but joy sitting on her mind for once.

the next morning

Dallas stood in the kitchen, waiting for the cheese to melt over the egg before moving it to the toast he had ready. Laughing along with what Adam was saying, both having already devoured two sandwiches before the third brother even awoke. "Im telling you his bitch ass has a hangover. Ill bet money on that shit," He spoke with a chuckle, placing the egg on the bread. "Imma go wake his ass up, and he better be grateful for this shit," Shaking his head, making sure to turn the stove off before leaving the kitchen. Plate in hand as he roamed the halls of the Torres' home humming softly to himself before he found himself in front of Drews door. Laying a small knock on the door before twisting the knob, his eyes widening at the sight of limbs wrapped around one another. Not getting a glance at the females face before he grabbed the football off the dresser, making sure to only hit Drew as he sent it towards the pair. "Yo Torres," He hissed out.

it wasn’t long before the brunette too fell asleep, albeit it was only after she had. wanting to make sure that she was fully at ease, her mind not swirling with thoughts, keeping her awake as he lay beside her, hands still at play in her hair. and when he finally relaxes, turns the tv off with the remote, the room now completely dark, he closes his eyes and lets slumber overtake him. 

and just like he expected, it’s one of the best rests he’s managed this past week. can’t recall when exactly it was that he'd fallen asleep, but he smiles when he wakes up, the sight of lia on his chest, her still asleep, and him still half asleep. he pulls her closer, before closing his eyes once more and easily drifting back to sleep. eyes shoot open quickly when he feels the sudden contact, mind not registering until he’s already sitting up in bed. and when he looks over to see a confused dallas with a plate of food in his hand, he sighs in relief. knows he has to explain, but finds this to be a breeze, rather than if omar or audra had walked in and seen them. ”long story, but i’ll definitely explain later” he breathes out, as he stands, only to walk towards dallas and take the plate that’s evidently for him. “thanks,” he looks over to lia, who stirred a bit in her sleep, and then back to dallas, “now, how fucked am i?

[sometimesrosy]

Roswell New Mexico ep 1.09 liveblog Songs About Texas

Listen I don’t care that I’ve never done a liveblog about this show before. I love it. I watched the original. I like this one better. Do not watch if you don’t want my buzzed cursing and spoilers and flailing. Because I curse and flail and spoil. it was an accidental liveblog because I was messaging a friend of mine who watches but was not caught up. So I didn’t want to spoil her until she said it was fine and then it became no holds barred. Do I edit it or let you see my terrible typing while I watch a show and drink a beer in the afternoon? 

Ahh. Get it unfiltered.

me--all right. i'm watching the roswell episode

buddy--We had a rather intense work meeting How’s the Rowell episode Roswell*

me-- just started. idk. did you see the last episode? omg i like all these character so well

Buddy--No I’m so behind

me--well then i can't tell you marias not as quirky. i liked the last maria a lot oh i like all these characters. the female sheriff? i like her too can we please have a maria/alex/michael love triangle? please? no wait not love triangle. ot3 polyamory please

buddy--Lol your commentary is awesome

me--michael is canon bi. it works. maria and alex can just be nonsexual partners and share micheale he's SO cute IF YOU HAD KEPT UP TO DATE I COULD GIVE YOU BETTER COMMENTARY

buddy--YOU CAN SPOIL ME

[buckle up I just go IN]

me--they're going to see a faith healer they're wondering if she's an alien. max and michael went to see if she did that, but liz and maria went to see  if she could heal maria's mom who is crazy. the female sheriff went to ALEX instead of his father who is trying to get her to out max.  she found a handprint death and thiks there's a conspiracy and she doesn't trust alex's dad who is blackmailing her to surveil alex. wait why is MARIA going with Michael to heal his broken hand that was smashed by Alex's dad because he cauthg them together. oh wait. liz is talking to max PERSONAL SPACE MUCH? michael is funny. "That feeling babe is naivetee" wait why does michael care about maria? oh she's a fake healer. oh. they just did an indigenous appropriation comment. wait grandma is like, 'they were asking about the sigil?" i love his show confession. i'm on my second beer. michael stole from the scamming healer. liz doesn't care

buddy--Ah feeling a little loose?

me--michael is funny casual let's say better than anxiety oh they just made a cut about healthcare. this show is awesome maria is singing alanis morisette!

buddy--Oh hey I don’t judge at allI can’t go that route or my family would start raising eyebrows

me--i'll probably have to watch again because i'm getting buzzed wait why is michael flirting with maria stop it michael if you're just teasing poor max is moping wait maria's making max sing with her i love max, michael, maria and liz together. oh now we have alex, the female sheriff, and liz's ex boyfriend. i like them too but he thinks the murderer is isobel but it's not i bet it's someone else.

buddy--No I can’t imagine it’s that simple 

me--i think there's another alien out there killing people and taking control of isobel which means she didn't kill rosa but whoever controlled her did I'm REALLY gonna need michael to stop flirting with maria because i used to ship maria and michael and he made me ship michael and alex. michael is both hot and funny at least we get some max and liz bonding. oh no there's a motel across the street!!!!!! girl sheriff just got told her ex bf max is an alien

this show is great

Oh god lol Is everyone in this town in love with max evans? says liz's ex bf what's his name?

buddy--Dude come on you know the answer to that I think Kyle 

me--lol kyle yes that's right uh oh needed to rewind the lol line and i rewound too far. atleast i get to see max and liz again wow how far did it rewind? I guess I'm pushing my kids "clean up your room at 4" back a little bit. wait we're back to alanis again? maybe my buzzed rewinding is making it so i don't need to watch again btw maria can sing wait michael TOTALLY checked out maria stop that! liz is falling in love wth max wait lol line coming up. in love wih max evans DId you just threaten to tattle to our parents Jenna? Manes or the Sheriff. now she's about to find out Max is an alien. wait. the female cop is Jenna. it skipped to the previous commerical l why would it do that? michael and maria flirting again. listen stop playing with my heart. WHICH ONE?Maria or Alex?  they're so cute Liz suggests the hotel. She jus tlooked at Max with love in her eyes If there's only one bed i will die Jenna freaking out about Alien Max wait here's the line. Kyle annoyed because everyone is in love wih Max evans.  Alex says, "angsty nerd isn't my type even though he is tall." Kyle says, "Is angsty COWBOY?"lol

buddy--Lol

me--btw remember kyle used to be a homophobe

buddy--Ohhh right

me--uh oh. Kyle has info too. Alex is investigating. Alex, Kyle and Jenna are a good team. Alex wants to take over project shepherd.

STOP!! THEY ONLY HAVE ONE ROOM AT THE MOTEL!!!!

buddy--LOL

me--Oh no lol

KING SIZE BED ITS THE JALAPENO ROOM REAL SPICY that is an actual quote from actual canon

buddy--LOL What?! 

me--LOL YES LITERALLY But the clerk found anothe rroom I think Wait wait before he found the room

"It's fine, I can sleep in the truck" max "ITS FINE WE"RE ADULTS" liz

LOL OMG THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED

buddy--LOL Oh the kiss of death 

me--lol but they're teasing he finds another room lol. i'm crying with laughter is it the beer or is it really funny? i have to pause and let myself laugh even though the other room is called The Alamo room. "Which one of you is into mass carnage? i love this show Lol rewind i need to see that again WF WTDF WTF i can't even curse without typos IT LITERALLY JUST DID THAT just cut to liz alone in a giant bed. halepenos. real spicy. she's tossing and turning i am pausing with liz tossing and turning because I DONT BELIEVE IT i know how to spell jalapenos. i'm not a good typist especially when watching tv

buddy--It’s okay lol

me--THey cut from Liz tossing and turning in the jalapeno room to max tossing and turning in the alamo room. THIS IS A FUCKING FANFIC neither of them could sleep. YOU COULDN"T GET COMFORTABLE BECAUSE YOU SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SAME BED YOU FOOLS

buddy--LOL CLASSIC

me--Max wants to be a healer, he tells liz. or thinks he should because he's seen people die in his job. She's the only one he's saved."Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." quoting henry the iv. dorks. he just gave her his coat uh oh liz doesn't hate max anymore. she was mad at max becuase he lied to her, he broke her heart. shades of bellarke LISTEN YOU ASKED FOR THIS LIVEBLOG isn't there a writer for this show that used to be on the 100 is it the sisters?

buddy--YEA

me--mother fuckers

buddy--Oh lord almighty

me--i have to keep taking breaks because i can't handle it

buddy--Well I know what I’m watching when I get home

me--they are literally bellarke after coming back together. llz felt betrayed like clarke felt betrayed over madi if i press the wrong button it goes CRAZY on the rewind. it just went all the way back to the fake healer liz wanted to share a bed. she hated the alamo room this is SO fanfic romantic THis is so bellarke even how she walks away kyle and alex are bonding over aliens. but kyle doesn't believe they are terrorist threats. maria and michael are bonding over being shitfaced come on michael OH MY GOD HE KISED HER SHE KISSED HIM BACK OH DOWN THEY GO DAMMIT THIS WAS NOT IN MY PLANS OT3 or bust do NOT mess around with my maria and michael if you're not going there

Faith healer again. This time Max is there with the grandma. The grandaughter is scamming but the grandma knows something. Faith healer wants to see max striptease lol. grandma tells her to get in the car. Grandma calls him a loud white cop lol He shows her his tattoo. Grandma knew someone like him. Sh enever spoke until the day she died. "He has arrived so I may leave." She thinks Max is who she said.

Oh Maria and Michael. "Here's the deal. Never happend. Tell no one." He told Max and Liz or maybe not.STOP FLIRITNG YOU"RE KILLING ME

"I could never hate you" max says to Liz. And she doesn't believe his version of her."youre always muttering in spanish like it's some secret language no one understands but you. hello. we're in new mexico. we all speak spanish."He sees her faults. And he loves her Easily KILL ME NOW STOP WITH THE SUNFLARES WOW SHE REALLY YANKS HIM BACK TO KISS HER HOLY SHIT THAT"S ROMANTIC REWIND HE SEES HER. oh he takes her hands and tells her she thinks that being more perfect than her sister she's easier to love but he sees her fautls and he loves her easily" Is it so crazy that I believe in you too?" I just know. Oh god THAT IS . A FUCKING GOOD KISS. She has her hands all over him

buddy--Sorry a coworker was talking to me

me--rewind AGAIN ou have to catch up

buddy--I will

me--he says, "come on I'll drive you home" and starts walking away and she's like THE FUCK YOU WILL YOU AMAZING MOTHERFUCKER YOU"RE GOING TO KISS ME I"VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR TEN YEARS. I could literally keep rewinding that all day but I realize I need to know what comes next commercial break ends. omg they're still kissing Now they're breathing. Why he asks. "I ran out of reasons not to. Was it whorth the wait?" He says it was worth the wait SOMEONE'S WATCHIN GWHO THE FUCK IS THAT? WHO THE FUCK IS-- WAIT THATS ISOBELS HUSAND HE sees the eggs He sees isobel in the egg. 

kyle and liz. her cure works but the thinks isobel is the murderer. the husband tells the sheriff that isobel is in rehab. he's lying. Kyles father was killed by an alien too.

Alex and Michael oh no. after Maria. He's got maria's necklace in his boot now alex is jealous. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. Alex says he needs a mechanic

Buddy--.The original Liz shiri appleby directed this episodeBtw

me--Wait no he's confronting Miechael. Alex tells him he loved him. LIke something cosmic and now he wants to start over. motherfucker

yeah i knew about shiri. she has apparently read some fanfiction so have the writers

Buddy--Yeah I’m 100 percent the show runner carina has lol percent sure*

me--alex wants to be friends with michael "Do you want to know who I am" or do you want to know what i am." Max is writing fiction and reading it to Isobel. In walks Liz. He kisses her again. Thanks her for solutions for Isobel. She thinks there's a fourth alien in roswell because she knows the murders were aliens but not isobel because isobel hasn't had a blackout since Rosa. I told you there was another murdering alien.

buddy--Ha!!

me--wow that was INTENSE. next week she tries her cure on isobel her husband knows she's an alien now though

buddy--Oh lord

me--I"m posting this whole thing online. Just so you know. you'll be kept anon.

buddy--That’s fine lol

[cicinicole-14]

14x19–– Beautiful Dreamer [episode review]

can we talk about Grey’s here for a second? I’m gonna review this episode because it’s been a really great episode. I think one of the best we’ve seen in a long time. so lets start off with saying this: I am sorry for how unorganized and choppy this is going to be, I’m apologizing in advance but my brain is going a million miles an hour. ALSO. WARNING::: SPOILERS AHEAD!!! 🚨🚨

first off–– Richard and Ollie

this was so, so sad. this gave me Amelia and Michelle, on PP, parallel feels, how Ollie is much like Amelia’s best friend Michelle and Amelia and Richard both watched their friend die a slow death. I really think and hope this is going to bring Amelia and Richard closer as friends and support systems. this storyline (Richard and Ollie) was very real, heartbreaking and sad. I really liked it even though it was rough.

Arizona

two things here, first; Carina. I just. I don’t like her. it’s half “she’s never going to be callie” and half idk I just don’t like her character. she’s useless and just no. I really don’t like her. and I would really like for her to go back to Italy. like Arizona said, her study there is almost up… also, the comment at the beginning of the ep “I have no kids, thank god” like okay, I get that people don’t always like kids but coming from Arizona, someone who broke up with her girlfriend over children, this just made my heart swell. like carina you don’t say that to the person you’re with if they fucking have kids. thats like almost as close as basic human decency as we get here…and second; Arizona’s idea of the crash cart thing, that was amazing. seriously. “treat every delivery as a trauma” I can’t clap loud enough. this is amazing. I’m so glad she figured something out and she can stop stressing just a little bit. take a breather babes, you’re awesome, you’re a rockstar. [also, another note; I really am dreading JCap leaving and this is sad af, because we only have like what 3 episodes remaining?]

Bello and Deluca

I actually have a lot to say about this and this is where its going to get very unorganized. I love that they’re incorporating real life like this, fucking neurosurgeons in the making, who have been living here their whole lives, facing deportation to a country they don’t know just because of our terrible choice in leaders. I can talk a while about this but I’m not going to. I thoroughly enjoyed Bailey stalling the ICE agent [we will address this later] and how literally the whole hospital was banning together to help Bello out. I genuinely like her and I’m really sad to see her leaving. I loved all the scenarios of running, getting married, Jo telling her how to fake her death with a guy in New York, I actually laughed so hard. like this was so great. this whole storyline. and then when amelia asks Owen to call Megan to help out because her “favorite intern” is going to get deported for rUNNING A FUCKING RED LIGHT. A RED LIGHT PEOPLE. we can’t even put rapists in jail, and you’re exiling an innocent fucking surgeon to a country they spent barely a year in when they were born, because she ran a red fucking light? okay moving on, coco. I loved that amelia said that, it was really cute. and like then Meredith using one of Maggie’s old papers [im assuming] and telling her Sam got accepted in Zurich and is working with Cristina. that was actually so sweet and I can’t. and then poor Andrew. I really loved them as a couple. they are really sweet and I wish we got to know more about their story, but sadly we won’t since Bello left. their goodbye was so adorable and bitter sweet. I hope she comes back one day or Deluca leaves to go be with her, he deserves happiness and an actual storyline like this because Giancomo is kinda getting screwed with Deluca’s character here.

Jaggie…

as @jordan202​ said last week, “jaggie is gaggie” and literally, yes. I was really excited to see Maggie ignoring him, because Jackson can be kinda dickish and like he should’ve told her April kissed him. if you want a relationship to work, be honest. and Jackson should’ve told her from the beginning. now to be honest with you, I skipped every jaggie scene, and caught the little bit at the end. I did want to point out, while I do not support Jaggie at all whatsoever, I find it very sweet Maggie showed up and made the speech and stood up for herself about not telling her because she said Jackson didn’t think he could handle it. go Maggie. and then I gagged again and skipped the scene that followed that… gross.

the interns

okay I love love loveeeee seeing Jo be the chief resident [I mean not like there can be any other chief resident because lets see, mousey died, Stephanie left, ben became a firefighter and where the fuck did Leah disappear to?] anyway, I love seeing Jo be the chief res and then bringing the interns around for rounds and no one letting them into rooms for rounds, that was actually quite funny.

Matthew and Ruby

okay, so I feel bad for Arizona because this was her case, but I empathize with Matthew, and he’s hurting and this is a lot. and I’m glad Owen could be put on this case, tho really fucking weird since he worked as a trauma surgeon in the army I didn’t peg him for a peds stand in, but I know this was just a little veer in his path for his storyline [which we will talk about as well] and I’m really grateful for April here. I know that everyone kinda looked weird at her for leering around Matthew and yeah I get it its weird, but her mother’s intuition was calling, and hey, guess what, it was fucking right. I’m really glad she was able to help and the end scene with her and Matthew was really sweet. it was full circle for them and I really enjoyed that.

lets go with the ICE agent next, and Bailey.

so I thoroughly enjoy that Bailey was at first just trying to stall him as long as possible. great tactic. and then her instincts kicked in and she pretty much saved this man’s life. I think that was really cool. and the scene with Maggie telling Bailey that she’d run all the tests, and then Bailey actually being serious about it. this was really nice. Bailey was being sincere to this man, she was serious because this guy, who is trying to take her intern, she could’ve easily just ignored his symptoms. but she didn’t and telling him, jfc that was great. “I swear to god this isn’t a joke” or whatever. bailey’s being serious, might I even say as serious as a heart attack… [okay, okay, I know, terrible joke I am sorry] anyway, this was really sweet that even though she deemed him as the enemy, she stilled helped save his life because its her job, just like, while he hates it, being an ICE agent is his job.

um what’s next? ou, Catherine.

can I start out saying I’ve never liked her? she’s always fucking shady and untrusting. seriously. and first off, do not go blaming your fucking son for this issue with the neurosurgeon lady. this is your fault. your “oh its nothing” thing with harper Avery and this lady. well yeah, we’re gonna think its nothing if you say it like that, of course Jackson won’t think anything of it and try and fucking fix things, there’s a child’s life at stake. if you weren’t such a shady bitch and were honest with Jackson, y’all won’t be getting into this mess, whatever the fuck it may be. ugh I do not like Catherine at all. Richard deserves better.

um, who else… Owen okay Owen.

so, I am still logically confused why Owen was placed on ruby Taylor’s case… like I mentioned before, he’s trauma not peds, but whatever, I guess if a hospital can have a bomb, shooting, 2 plane crashes, a fire and a billion other things happen, I guess a trauma surgeon can double as a peds one for a day. now, onto why. I’m really actually genuinely excited for Owen to take this step into singlehood and hopefully soon-to-be single fatherhood. I’ve been saying this forever, but give the man a child. he’s very similar to Alex in a way, he doesn’t act very decent with other adults, but in front of children, he’s an angel and its what he really needs. I can’t wait to see what comes of this storyline!

KIMMIE!

okay, wow! this breaks my heart. part of me is like “yes! go to NYC, go sing on broadway, explore the world while you still have the chance” and the other half of me just screams “stay strong just a little longer and stay at GSM for Alex and amelia to fix you, because I know they can”. Alex and kimmie’s dynamic is so sweet and their relationship just kinda melts me [and jo, but we will talk about that next!] I really hope this isnt the end of kimmie’s story. I hope she’s not going to just leave. side note: where did Tom go? is he back in New York? did he go back and I forget? anyway, whatever.

last but not least, the best, jolex.

okay, we got literally the sweetest scene I’ve ever fucking seen. I think I like this more than the proposal. actually, this and the 9x24 “I love you” scene are tied for first because ofc, that was my fave but also this one was. Jo telling Alex that she wants kids with him and wants to wedding plan and get married at joe’s bar and soon and ugh I cannot. and then her telling him she wants his last name because “I’ve never had the last name of anyone who’s loved me before” okay get out. bye. I’m dead. spoiler alert: I’ve been typing this from beyond the grave. this scene fucking melted me into a pile of goo. I cannot. bye!

bonus! 14x20 promo! 

I AM FUCKING DEAD. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS EPISODE. ABSOLUTELY CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. this looks so goddamn fucking hilarious I literally almost started crying. first of all, Arizona being the innocent lil bean to unknowingly give everyone pot cookies, I’m in tears. then, Alex wearing the fucking whatever that was on his head and “oh yeah, it was so good” pissing myself. also, fuck, was that deluca hugging a bush?!? and Bailey professing her love to Meredith. I can’t I can’t. seriously, I have high expectations for this episode, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

end note: no gifs are mine and I’m sorry for not crediting artists, I just pulled these off google. thank you for letting me borrow your work.

[linaseraphina13]

hey heres some terrible horrible evil headcanons for evil devoured tamara

i was thinking abt evil devoured tamara…

well i think it would hurt a lot more if like, she wasnt actually evil when she was devoured.

like maybe she saved aaron and call from alex by literally tackling him into the void?

and alex died, but with his soul as a sort of counterweight tamara was able to survive the void. and instead of instantly killing her, it did worse.

the void is weird across time & space- it stays the same across all timelines- so the edges of the void are kinda funny. kinda separated from reality and time an shit.

well, my girl tamara disappears into the void, circa end of TBK, right.

aaron and call live- alex disappears, oh so mysteriously.

i think since he’s a Gold year and it was his decision to betray my boys when and where, he graduates the magisterium first.

“oh noo, masters”, he says, super smugly, “i don’t think i’ll be going to the collegium. who, me? wasted potential? nah, i just don’t think a career in magic is for me. i think i’ll take a sabbatical for a year or two, see whats out there. if you dont hear from me dont be surprised”, he adds, still sounding smug to the intelligent Reader.

(this is a great cover for kidnapping, or for if you’ve suddenly become dead thanks to being thrown in the void.)

nobody really notices alex is missing. they notice tamara missing.

call, grief stricken and idiotic, is about to confess to being Capt. Fishface, when aaron, ever the counterweight and moral compass, slaps a hand over his mouth and lies through his teeth. alma, everyones least favorite hedge witch, is about to object and accuse call of, like, sorcery or whatever, when aaron hits her with a Look™.

“alright, alma”, he says, totally gallant despite the loss of his best friend, “my fucking best friend is missing, dead, even, no thanks to you masters for keeping her alive, by the way, and you’re seriously accusing my other best friend, who you, by the way, made raise a fucking zombie, and is fourteen fuckin years old, btw, of being the worst person in magickind because you can’t tell when kids that are scared and trying to save their friends aren’t evil?”

master north begins to cry. alma is dissolved.

not really, but call fuckin wishes. call also wishes his cell phone wasn’t dead so he could’ve recorded aaron saying that. except, thats tangentially related to being capt. fishface, so he thinks of this and regrets it with a feeling in his stomach like worms nibbling on his large intestine.

three months pass in uneasy waiting. aaron and call grow inseparable, and most all of the magisterium kids quit talking to them. jasper takes tamaras death (its not been officially stated as a death, but when the boys were asked, one look at their eyes answered the question) pretty hard- hes quieter. call is paranoid, always looking over his shoulder, always afraid to trust anyone but his two friends and his dog.

there’s a spectre in aarons eyes.

he dreams of timelines where he is the dead one.

because that’s it, huh? it wasn’t aaron who died, after all. it was tamara.

aaron fails, as a friend. as a makar. (after TCG, he always thought he would be the dead one. it was destiny, right?)

and then, the three months pass, and on a mission, aaron, call, and jasper (and of course havoc) see the tall, white-clad girl with braids streaming from unseen winds through a gap in the trees.

they’re still bronze years.

she looks marginally older than them.

she isn’t facing towards them- they are curious. walk closer, but quietly. they sense something is wrong with the girl who stands in a sunny and eerily silent forest, who casts no shadow and is unnervingly still.

and then she turns, and tamara rajavi opens her many eyes (many more than she was born with, the anatomy of the eyes hidden by a smoggy darkness enveloping her skin and obscuring all but the glow of them) and smiles.

“did you miss me, boys?” she says, with all too much cheer in her voice for a dead woman.

…

actual stuff about my girl tamara because i am too dramatic for my own good:

shes Shadow Woman now. can’t whitewash what you can’t even register as anything more than unfathomable darkness! take that, cover artist.

so heres what i think went down:

that shit in TSM happened, all right, but it’s a doomed timeline. destined to be destroyed by paradox space, blah blah. tamara survives by virtue of ravan- fire, as are all the elements, are universal. all of the devoured have an uncanny knowledge of possibilities, because whenever the timeline branches off into a doomed offshoot, the memories are transferred to the devoured in the alpha timeline.

ravan, somehow, saves her sister’s consiousness. offers her a choice- you can save him. you can stop this all from happening, tam. but it’ll cost you dearly.

she ‘wakes up’ in her body from six months ago, with her hands on burning golden bars staring at ravan’s cage. it’s a reset point.

the days before alex’s betrayal, her magic is funky. unstable.

she throws herself into the void and kills him. the magic of his soul preserves her and the void doesnt consume her… it changes her instead.

she becomes the Devoured in place of alex. she isn’t dead, but its… weird. she’s not human anymore. too many eyes. she’s basically the embodiment of the malevolent void. alex’s soul sort of… became a part of her in exchange for her weird life/unlife. so she’s evil.

timelines blur. she’s the tamara of TSM, after all- so when she slips out of the void at a natural gateway, la rinconada (a place where a shit ton of chaos magic was used becomes a sort of leyline to the void. the magisterium is one of these places due to constantine, but its not the sneakiest of spots), it’s in her white fourth years uniform.

she’s learned personal responsibility- thats what earned her it, after all. its kind of a joke to her.

DUDE. WRITE. A. FIC.