#i think it would be nice esp bc like i said i think the doctor mainly is a children's advocate

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

once again thinking about a version of the story where 13 lands in sheffield three years earlier when ryan and yaz are still sixteen and a whole lot angrier

13 turning out a bit more immature bc she spends her first twenty-four hours after regenerating with these reactive and kinda fucked up kids. ryan dealing with grace and graham recently getting married or getting ready to get married. probably feeling abandoned by his grandmother after his mother and father. feeling alone with his grief. maybe kinda just has tibo to confide in. yaz meanwhile is in hell getting bullied and either recently got driven home from a running away attempt and is now dealing with the familial aftermath of that, or is planning the running away. maybe kiiiiiiinda just has sonya to confide in but probably not really. probably doesnt confide in anyone

13, still malleable and fluid, running into these messed up teenagers who reflect all her own lonely angry betrayed abandoned feelings back to her, shaping herself in response to them. they dont trust her at all to start with, but i think she'd win yaz over in a similar way she does in canon, presenting herself as an authority who listens and understands. perhaps slightly more the understanding than authority part at this point in yaz's life. maybe she lands in front of yaz actually in the hills before anita can get there. yaz is like "where the fuck did you come from" and shes like "um the troposphere i think" and yaz is like "how are you not dead" and shes like "oh i was! but then i decided maybe i shouldnt be. so. now im here :) with you!" and that kinda strikes a chord with yaz. and then the doctor's like "do you happen to have a sandwich in that backpack im starving"

then aliens happen and once they run into ryan, yaz is already won over and she and ryan recognise each other and she convinces him that, like, no shes not nuts, theres definitely aliens shes seen them

11x1 would go entirely differently obviously. maybe grace wouldnt die and graham wouldnt travel. ryan maybe decides to travel a little bit out of spite and home doesnt really feel like home, and yaz isnt having fun at home or at school either and she was running away anyway so this is not a hard decision

the emotional instability and bad decision counter of a team tardis thats just 16-year-old yaz and ryan and 13 is kind of amazing to imagine. it'd be so volatile but they'd love each other so much i think they'd be the best friends bc instead of starting off closing herself off from grief, 13 would start off having her justified and irrational anger sort of validated and coaxed out i think by yaz's and ryan's. in the tardis between the three of them there would be a place to express "nobody cares about me" whether thats true isnt the point, i think theyre all feeling it a little bit. "everyone just moved on like mum didnt matter/'tell an adult' like what are they gonna do?/okay it wasnt all their faults but all my friends are dead" you know? i think they'd be heard with each other and i think there'd be space for the injustice of it all and especially as the doctor is like a children's advocate most of all, she would take ryan and yaz seriously in a way i think they wouldnt have been by any other adult in their lives at that point. and in return they, just by being there as they are, would make room for the hurt child that 13 is and will turn out to be

and i dont have details for this but i think it would be really nice if the way 13 listens and takes seriously yaz and ryan in the first season (not like consciously or deliberately or anything, shes not trying to Do anything, this is just who the doctor is) would be mirrored in the second and/or the third when they have calmed down a bit, dealt with some of their issues at home, talked to some family members, become a little less depressed and angry etc, and they return the way she treated them when she finds out abt the timeless child and tecteun. she took their anger seriously and she took them seriously when they said "this isnt fair" and in return they can take her anger seriously, probably are angry on her behalf, and they can stop her from overcorrecting from like being 10 by pointing out to her that this isnt fair and shes allowed to be angry abt it

and when yaz inevitably gets a crush i think it shows up as a kind of out of character/seemingly regressive prickliness and snappiness toward the doctor getting more intense over the course of s12 that ryan and the doctor first are puzzled by bc like sure in the first half of s11 maybe they were all a bit snappish with each other but theyve been friends for like a year now whats this about all of a sudden? and yaz is like Nothing!!!! it's nothing!!! piss of!!! bc shes having feelings she doesnt know what to do with or how to interpret so theyre just manifesting as Angery. that same need to prove herself + probably worry abt the doctor as in canon except a lot more combative and a lot less inhibited. shes probably picking fights abt everything the doctor tells her to do. trying to provoke the doctor into actually getting mad and yelling at her or, god forbid, grabbing her, shoving her, using her hands bc yaz wont listen to words. sometimes youre 17 and horny and you dont understand you want one of your two friends in the world to kiss you bc it hasnt occurred to you that girls kissing girls is a thing that can happen. ryan figures it out first

in this version ryan probably stays until the end too - or the same as in revolution happens and yaz feels betrayed that he'd give up on the doctor so easily and feels alone in the entire world again - graham and dan wouldnt come into the picture. ryan's and yaz's family would come into the picture a little more actively. theres a lot of plot to figure out that i cant and it would be a very different era in many ways but i think it would be nice

[cozyqueerchaos]

hi sorry if this is weird or smth but thank you.

your fics really helped me realize that i have chronic pain and can accept help for it. i’d been suffering from it for years and denied that i had it. my friends would tell me that what i experienced wasnt normal, that i should get help for it. i refused every time. i didnt think it was an issue cuz i was convinced they were just being softhearted and worrying too much. i could still function and i was young and strong. i didnt need that.

then i found some of your shadow-centric fics and was happy to see he was like me.…until i read some of the tags and author’s notes and was like OH. THAT. OH. THIS MIGHT BE AN ISSUE ACTUALLY.

it took me a few months of rotating between different stuff to read and rereading yours before it finally really settled in. months after that, i finally scheduled an appointment to get it checked out.

…according to my doctor healthy 18 year olds shouldnt be like this so maybe my friends had a point lmao

but yeah. i just wanted to thank you for that. you inadvertently got me to finally overcome my stupid brain. like. thank you so much.

sorry this is long and mushy and i think i used the wrong words for a lot of things, but i just wanted to let you know how you’ve impacted my life through your self-indulgent sonic fanfiction

i hope you have a nice day

Sorry for a bit of a late response, I had no idea how to respond to this bc I was so overwhelmed. Thank you so much for telling me, this is definitely a first for me.

I'm so glad you got help. I know how hard that can be, esp when you're young and functional, like you said. That's kind of why I picked Shadow, actually; I wanted to prove to myself that even someone who's insanely strong and "built perfect" could be like us.

I don't know how to express how much it means to me that it helped you, but I am so genuinely honored. I hope things get easier for you, and I hope you have a nice day too :>

[doctorhuh]

hiya! first, love the podcast and both of your senses of humor. second, i recently got to the part in your magician's apprentice ep where you suggest the clara/jane austen kissing comment was "something for the fellas," which seems like a continuation of the other times you two have been (not unjustifiably) critical of a lot of the portrayal of queer chars on DW, and i wanted to offer an alternate perspective - not in a "you're wrong and i'm mad at you" way, just in a "here's a perspective to think about if you'd like to" way. also, i'm not expecting a response (in fact, i think i'd find one embarrassing bc of how long this is) or for y'all to change, just tossing this out there

for context, i got into doctor who as a middle schooler at the beginning of my realizing-i-was-bi-and-nonbinary-in-a-homophobic-household journey. and as a result, jack harkness was Important to me. in fact, i think there's a poll that went around tumblr a month ago where 12% of this site's userbase said doctor who was the first place they saw an earnest depiction of a queer char. jack does plays into bi stereotypes, but he still has depth and likability, and i think that's more important than deciding he doesn't fuck, esp in 2005. plus, he and torchwood were created by rtd who is himself gay, so i'm willing to cut him some slack

i agree that the vastra/jenny "actually, she's my WIFE" exchange is mostly moffat looking for praise, but that scene was also Important to me as a closeted kid who could only fantasize about being so open about my sexuality. and last year, i /did/ get a little thrill when i was getting a haircut and the hairdresser (who /did/ give off homophobic vibes) asked me after my Person left, "are you two sisters?" and i could say no

regarding clara, my view of moffat's misogyny in writing DW has always been "he /is/ aware that a lot of the audience is women and kids and when he thinks to, he does write to those ppl, he's just also infected with the views-women-as-lesser parasite and doesn't make enough conscious choices to battle it." if you'd asked me if clara's bisexuality was /for/ any particular audience segment, i'd say i'd never thought about that before, but if it was for anyone, it was probably for the queer girls. i esp feel that way bc she's followed by bill (and yaz, though that wasn't moffat's doing). i also like that clara said that in front of her class! it's nice to see a teacher char be open about her bisexuality bc of how social reactionaries often rush to "think of the children!" and criticizing schools and teachers as their first line of offense. plus, gay teachers were my rocks in high school, and i loved hearing about their lives bc it made my own future feel more solid

in sum, if the metric for a portrayal of a queer char is "was this scene written thoughtfully and to make queer audience members seem seen?" what might seem cringey and forced to one queer person could feel very affirming to another. i think due to DW's intended younger audience, things fall into the affirming bin more often than expected, and i think they're also /intended/ to be affirming more often than expected. i'd be as annoyed as hell by all these scenes if i saw them for the first time today, but i remain glad they exist for the good they did for kids back then and (who knows?) maybe still today

have a good night!

Hiya! Thank you for the thoughtful message! I will say I do totally get what you're saying. In fact, I remember being a closeted queer teen in the 2010s and I felt the exact same way. I thought it was super cool to see a bisexual character on TV, and I remember when the 11th Doctor would have throwaway lines about, yknow, romances with other men or whatever I thought that was pretty cool too. I loved Jack back in the day! It's certainly not my place to tell a person that they're not valid for appreciating representation! I think any kid who saw something relatable or inclusive in DW is a big win. I do still feel like looking back and watching it as an adult with more context; we can get a sense that it could've been better! A lot of it reflected attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people from 10-20 years ago, that I think we've largely moved past. I feel like there's nothing inherently wrong *or* invalidating about pointing that kinda stuff out. With regards to Moffat specifically, I get frustrated with Moffat because I think we're all in agreement that we can do better than him to write representation, yeah? Moffat is very "tell don't show" about his characters' queerness in a way that I find personally frustrating. If Clara is bisexual, that's awesome!! I'd love for Moffat to have shown us this instead of just an offhand line about it. His track record is just really bad (anyone who has seen Sherlock can attest to this lol). That's why we are always kind of feeling like his inclusion of LGBTQ+ representation comes across in bad faith (i.e. queerbaiting, using queerness as setup/punchline, or just kinda trying to score points from the progressive viewers).

I'd add that I do think there's been some great LGBTQ+ representation on DW in the past and present. I can't be the only one who loved to see Donna being the parent of a happy, thriving nonbinary trans person. That brought me a lot of joy to see on my screen in a time that is SO fucking hostile for trans people (transfeminine people in the UK in particular have it really bad). More of that please, Rusty. Lastly, I should say our show puts us at a disadvantage by design in terms of good faith criticism, because we're literally not watching the show in a way that makes sense. So a lot of stuff we're saying is basically watching the show completely devoid of context and we're just trying to have a bit of fun and share our thoughts; I do think we've ate dirt on this 1000 times over it's part of the fun when our listeners get mad because we were just Completely Wrong. Like what the hell happens in the Zygon Inversion?? Or Heaven Sent?? We don't know but everyone is mad because we didn't have that context. I really disliked Clara and got at totally different read on her, now I'm much more cool with her as a character. If there's stuff we're missing that's kind of part of the fun. At the end of the day we're just two goobers with microphones trying to have a bit of fun and you're ten billion percent allowed to disagree with everything we say about DW. Also not to like, shill, or anything but if you ever want to discuss this stuff with us directly, our discord link is in every episode. You can join the chorus of listeners who get mad at us every week jkjk. Thank you for the thoughtful ask! I hope that clears up at least my own feelings on it a little bit. -Jordan

[therem-harth]

End of the year asks 18, 19 and 22!

18. A memorable meal this year? Humm. There was one after me and Laura went to a swimming pool early last year, a rather overwhelming if also nice experience & afterwards when we were really tired and hungry we went to an asian restaurant just to have something nice and waited forever to get our food but man, what a nice meal that was. An honorable mention to my friends getting me a baller cake with my new name and surname not long after I had changed it for my namesday, it's not exactly a meal but something I think fondly on.

19. What’re you excited about for next year? Many things!! It's going to be hard work to achieve all of this and scary but I'm also excited! *In the beginning of the year me and sis are most likely moving bc our current flat is. bad. & I really hope that we can find an affordable three room flat because we both work from home and I yearn for more space. I'd kill for a couch in a living room. A shelf for crafting supplies… Space to maybe do some excercise. mmmm *We have a new gym contract for the year!! I get to move again!! This gym has a sauna!! And me and laura are gonna try to be brave and participate in some group trainings too! *Gonna get a raise. I mean I'll ask my boss in january and if he says no I'm gonna fast track looking for a new job. It's way overdue. But in any case more money!! Which is good bc I've been struggling. Renting & no rich husband & inflation… has been hard, esp since I somehow managed to pull off a 2 week vacay abroad that I'm still paying off. *Gonna ask for health insurance instead of its worth in money and go to a dentist and a doctor again. This is mostly scary but I'm going to be at least relieved I've done it once it's done. And my tooth hurts if I eat smth too sweet so that'll be nice to get fixed too. *Made a joking pact with a friend to GetFucked2024. Gonna try to find a willing victim on a dating app to fulfill my aroace curiosities (round 2!). It's probably going to go horribly wrong and/or not go anywhere at all but I'm excited to try. How ace of me to plan this as a checkbox activity. *I'm still not really sure which direction to steer my life in and it's all rather scary and intimidating and did I mention scary. But maybe I will start poking transitioning. Maybe just do one thing. Go to a doctor, get a referral, get a diagnosis. Maybe. *If I manage to gather the money I might go to a Mother Mother concert in Norway with a friend & spend some time w said friend !! Therem "we don't learn from our experiences of how much money international travel takes" Harth

Many things planned!! No clue how many will pan out!! But at least there is something to think towards.

22. Favorite place you visited this year? Hummm it would probably have to be my big trip to London! I can't say that I'm a city person but it was really enriching to travel, to see a different city, and London at that, and with my friends at that (<3). The little spaces full of things, the different ways it was jank, the chube & the posters. & the soft lights and darkness. But an honorable mention goes to Scotland, particularly the bit of highlands I saw on the bus home, exhausted and raw, waking up after fractured sleep to see giant mountains right next to my window.

[auroramosaic]

im gonna start documenting my experience on testosterone so far! nothing hugely in depth just a lil overview for me to check back later. And bc I'd appreciate having seen some of this, esp the complications, before starting t

SO. I was kind of in a rush to start testosterone as soon as I could. Anxiety about laws and trying to be convinced out of it by family really pushed that faster than was probably smart

And I am multiply disabled - several of the conditions have symptoms that have been worsened to an unmanageable degree by testosterone (namely POTS - i overheat so easily and so extremely now)

Most people don't have to worry too much about side effects or worsening comorbid symptoms when starting HRT, and I'm really Really not tryna start any fearmongering. I just wasn't as fully aware of all the different ways it would affect me (despite the handouts and my own research and everything. Unfortunately my drs weren't super helpful - they asked me for tips and info on testosterone lmfao. Like I know a lotta patients do their own research but please doctors do your own too)

so! changes since starting t: i quickly started gaining a lot of weight, more than the extra food I was eating would've put on me before. I expected this to a degree but it was a lot very fast and surprised me. Also being really greasy all the time means taking more showers (which is physically difficult) or being overstimulated. Voice changes have been nice! I haven't been able to keep any of my upper register which I was curious about but it's opened up a lower vocal range which is really nice. Now I just gotta get used to how my voice fits in there :) body and facial hair are really not as fast as I expected. Those have been slow goes. Facial hair is barely there and body hair isn't too different from first puberty (but then again that's a whole discussion on intersex topics of its own tbh). I was really hit with that first wave of pain and exhaustion that some disabled people talk about with taking testosterone - a wave of fatigue that you push through first before you see any returns on testosterone being energizing. I haven't gotten to the energizing part get and it's been like 10, 11 months?

All of this said, I also have a hormonal IUD in at recommendation of the planned parenthood dr. I've had that for longer than I've been on T and they said it wouldn't be a problem bc that IUD is supposed to just be locally effective? But I still think it's worth knowing. I felt different after I first got that put in and I think it might affect more than was suggested.

anyways. So all that's been goin on and has been making me really sit on why I'm on HRT. Because I want to be, I want changes, but I'm not seeing return on many changes I was looking for, and I am getting a hell of a lot of surprise health issues. This is obvs a conversation to have w my dr when i see her next but I just wanted to document it too. Hormones are really complicated drugs and there can be a myriad of surprise effects! It was definitely worth it for me to start, but now I gotta reconsider what dosage is safe and that's ok. Shit happens like this sometimes. Wish I could tell myself a year ago about all this - not so he'd avoid HRT, but just so we didn't have surprise against us on top of the other stuff lol

[naruto-littlespace]

Akatsuki Littlespace Headcanons

I could and probably will write more, but I don’t feel like it right now, so here’s this.

Disclaimer 1: Littlespace, in the AU and in real life, is a coping mechanism for everything from everyday stressors to psychological disorders like PTSD. If you sexualize littlespace do not interact with this AU or me, I will block you.

Disclaimer 2: Littlespace in this post is slightly different from in real life, magic-ed up in a similar way to how ninjas are magic-ed up in the Naruto universe. Chakra-using littles actually revert to the size they were when they were their little ages, although they retain any bodily changes since then (little Kakuzu still has stitches, little Deidara would have hand mouths.) The exception of course is Sasori, whose body is manmade and doesn’t change. People also do not necessarily remember their big lives when they slip into littlespace, sometimes becoming confused about where they are and who they’re with. They will sometimes be confused about what time period they’re in as well, believing things to have happened that hadn’t happened yet in their little age but were far in the past in their adult age.

This isn’t how I’m going to treat littlespace w/ Naruto characters all the time on this account btw, it’s just an idea I’ve been playing around with, like the psychological defense of reverting to a childlike state inadvertently triggers a transformation jutsu to match.

Nagato:

Little age pre Yahiko’s death was 6-7, post is 2-4

Started regressing shortly after the formation of the original Akatsuki. She and Yahiko had to do research to figure out why their teenage friend had suddenly turned into a child, but after they learned they took care of him: treated him like a child, bought him kids books from the local thrift shop, tucked him into bed. He called them uncle and auntie.

He would stay in littlespace for a surprisingly long amount of time, for 4-6 hours on days between missions.

After Yahiko’s death he spent many days in a row regressed to age two. Konan scrambled to take care of him and handle her own grieving. After that was over he promised her she wouldn’t have to take care of him again.

Nowadays of course she still takes care of him when he regresses, but he tries to force himself out of it if he begins to.

He still has board books and stuffies, so if he does fully regress he’ll have one of his pein bodies bring them to him.

Being ~3 he doesn’t have the mental capacity to control all the Peins, so they just kind of idle for awhile.

Konan:

Little age is 3-5

Pre modern Akatsuki she didn’t like regressing at all and only did it involuntarily. She would handle it by either walking it off or reading Nagato’s board books by herself.

This continued pretty much until she started becoming friends with Kakuzu, who openly admitted he was a little (he thought she should know, in case it ended up delaying his missions--it was mostly so she would stick up for him to Pein. No, he wasn’t hunting bounties, there’s a perfectly logical explanation--)

So she had a bad day while she and Kakuzu were at the same base and went ‘can you please deal with me for a couple of minutes’ and he was like ‘ofc’ so she sat down in front of him and shrank down to a little girl and started crying. He picked her up and bounced her on his knee until she calmed down. She ended up staying little for a couple of hours because Kakuzu took her out of the office and telling her stories about his childhood while they prepared dinner.

Kisame becomes her caretaker too when the three of them start dating.

Sometimes she starts crying inconsolably about something she won’t talk about other than someone leaving her and something being unfair. Pein showed up during this one time and said he knew what she was talking about and it was none of her cgs’ concern which ofc made them concerned but they haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her about it.

Itachi:

Little age is 2-4 but since her chakra is often very low so she doesn’t always physically become that tiny.

She didn’t regress until after she joined the Akatsuki, but when she did Kisame wasn’t surprised. He reintroduced himself as her babysitter, slipped her a lollipop and took her to a library to pick out some kids books.

Loves to be pampered. Oh god it’s the only time she can relax at all

Wears reading glasses because they can’t get her in to an eye doctor appointment

She’s trans in this au because I say so

Likes playing with weasel and crow toys, esp when her caretaker (usually Kisame, Konan and Kakuzu as well when they’re around) plays the weasel and she’s the crow. She’ll tell stories where they go out to the woods to train or just hang out.

She loves to sit in laps <3

She eats a lot more in littlespace than out so whoever’s feeding her makes lots of food. For her to grow big and strong u know

Kisame:

Little age 0. He is just baby

Being reminded of the bloody mist triggers his littlespace, though he has to be in a bad headspace in the first place. It really does not happen often.

Post Akatsuki the first time he slipped was after he, Kakuzu and Konan started dating. Kakuzu woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of crying and woke Konan up immediately afterwards because holy sh*t there’s a baby in our bed!!

It was Kisame. Kakuzu picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. Konan asked how he was so good with kids and he was like ‘oh I had a baby once.’ She does not ask him to elaborate. Kisame wakes up as an adult the next morning.

They keep a container of powder formula for him if he regresses but won’t get him a pacifier because they’re afraid he’d bite off and choke on the teat. They have bottles but Kakuzu makes the nipples for them out of one of his threads on the spot bc he’d bite through literally everything else with his tiny demon teeth.

Sasori:

Little age is unclear (unlike some of the others, he’s never said it.)

Signs he’s in littlespace: stops talking, stops walking if he can afford it, walks unsteadily and a little bowlegged if he can’t. Stops using ninjutsu and if he’s near a kitchen he might try to eat despite not having a digestive system anymore. Has been known to ask where Granny Chiyo is. The answer is ‘back home.’

Deidara got him a pacifier and a coloring book. He does use them but not when anyone else is watching, not even Deidara.

He is a bit upset when he’s reminded that his body is wooden. He would like to feel things please. But he learns to just enjoy the sensation of squishing a stuffie and his jaw chewing on a paci.

Deidara:

Not actually a little. He just hasn’t gone through sh*t like the rest of the Akatsuki have, and has coping mechanisms for when he is having a bad time.

He caretakes for Konan when her boys aren’t around and for Sasori if he’ll let him.

Hidan told him about littles after Kakuzu regressed in front of him and thought Deidara might need to know because of how much baggage Sasori has (he doesn’t know what it is but he can smell drama)

So he looked out for Sasori becoming a kid and learned instead to look for him not acting like an adult. He walked out of Hiruko and tried to eat in front of him and Deidara had to tell him he couldn’t have a strawberry because it was bad for his health and not because it would probably make his insides mold. It’s weird but Deidara is also weird and he makes it work.

Kakuzu:

Little age is 9-10

Post Akatsuki the first time he regressed was in front of Hidan in the middle of the woods. He didn’t recognize him and immediately tried to run and then beat him up when he chased him. Hidan had to think fast and tell him he was his new neighbor and pretend to be taking him home. The next time he was babysitting.

Sometimes asks where his husband is. The first time Hidan heard this his response was ‘what the f*ck’ and Kakuzu told him that was a bad word.

Enjoyed activities include reading, sparring, and to the surprise of some, hunting. He’s not bad w/ a bow and arrow.

The best way to keep him in/make him feel comfy in littlespace is to make him a meal. U can let him help to the extent that he sets the table or pours the drinks or smth (because he will ask) but take care of the food for him, because he hasn’t had someone else handle that for him in a long time.

Regressing isn’t necessarily a common thing for him to do but he’s one of the only ones whose regression can be triggered by physical pain as well as emotional. He can usually harden his skin to block attacks but if he doesn’t in time he may turn into a ten year old. It actually can surprise an opponent enough for Hidan to be able to take them out.

Hidan:

Not a little either.

Knew about littles bc there was an old man in his village who had ptsd from some long forgotten war and sometimes turned into a six year old.

Caretakes for Kakuzu pretty exclusively, unless Kakuzu is big and taking care of someone else, in which case he’ll help out if he’s feeling nice at the time. Itachi is actually his favorite to take care of because Itachi is a very manageable child.

Obito:

Little age varies wildly from about 1-11. He blocks his physical regression because he regresses Often and doesn’t want to blow his Madara cover.

He has been regressing since p much immediately after he got crushed. Madara was really having none of it and went from patiently waiting for him to become ‘big’ again to pretending it wasn’t happening, forcing Obito back into a uh. ‘’Normal’’’’ headspace

The Tobi act is actually covering his littlespace though when he’s an adult he has no idea how to realistically act like a kid so when he’s actually a kid it’s kind of jarring for all involved

When he’s a baby he just screams. Not really crying in distress but screaming because he can

He’s so eager for attention. Please talk to him! Play toys with him!!! Read a book, eat dango, run around outside, catch bugs, train!!!

Never mentions Kakashi or Rin but sometimes will mention his grandma or Lord Fourth as if he is the current Hokage

[selfcareparker]

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰�� idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

[phoebehalliwell]

I am having Thoughtstm about Bianca.

Have you thought about what her relationship would be with the rest of the Halliwell brood? Like does she get along with white!future Wyatt and Melinda? And what does she think of Henry Jr and his desire to make his Mark on the Halliwell Line?

Also I for some reason see her getting along really well with Dency? I know they don’t exist in the same universe but I could see them being friends? Maybe roasting Chris together and being good sparring partners? I think she’d dig Dency’s little detective thing she’d got going… and I know Bianca is with Chris but like… Bianca x Dency ? 👀 👀 Could be cute 😂😂

okay so for starters i think bianca gets along p well with all of the next gen but like. it wasn’t an immediate thing like. i think esp with wyatt because wyatt really is kind of like. like he's the kind of epitome of the next generation son of a charmed one and a whitelighter he's hella powerful blah blah blah and like. he kinda sits at the top of his class. which is like bianca. so i think bianca thought that wyatt would be like her because you know how like if you're only raised around people like you you kind of start thinking like how your brain works is how like everyone's brain works? i think bianca thinks wyatt is like her so she doesn't like him because well. you can guess. but i think upon meeting wyatt i mean he's just really like gentle really passive he doesn't like. like he doesn't hate magic. but it doesn't feel ingrained in him despite who he is he doesn't live for the battle like looking at him you see no markers that he's one of the most powerful witches of his generation and bianca's kinda just like huh. you don't have to feel the compulsive need to be the best at everything all the time and like make sure people know you're the best and also people kind of hate you for it because they'll never be as good as you so u decide to hate them first you decide you will be the bitch you craft a persona they're basically guaranteed to hate so when they reject you it's on your terms you wanted them to do that you basically forced their hand because the alternative is being genuine and that way if they do reject you it's not a mask they just saw you and didn't like you because let's be real there's not much to like. and wyatt's like hmm. no? i think she wouldn't really get along as well with wyatt as she would with chris because her and chris are very much both witches at heart you can feel it in everything they do but i don't think she like. doesn't get along with wyatt. i mean okay for starters wyatt kind of operates the opposite as bianca whereas bianca will throw up her stone cold alpha bitch mask before anyone can decide whether or not they like her again she kind of forces their hand because she needs this to be on her terms. wyatt does the exact opposite because again the elders almost killed him as a bebe and he's always kind of worried that some day they'll realize he as a person is just not worth the risk so he tries to be so super likable and genial and like. good witch!! at all times. and it's kind of like calls to like game recognizes game where both bianca and wyatt can tell the others wearing a mask no one's that nice and no one's that cold so like. i do think they like each other. they feel like they can be honest around each other (eventually. it does take wyatt a very long time to overcome that phoenix hurdle because again he's well read he knows what's up he knows they're like an organization of like superwitches smart deadly all of the above and he doesn't wanna be. giving up his secrets to them you know? much less the halliwell secrets. but i think once it becomes clear that bianca is her own person once she breaks from the phoenix then like. like you know they have to trust each other first. but once they do, they're buddies) i also think bianca's studied art history so i think they can talk about that and chris is like. okay? because like. no he gets it shure it's cool but also how long reasonably can you talk about a single painting like come on now.

as far as melinda goes i think like i think melinda comes off as really passive really kind a nurturing type like in her day to day life or whatever like oh she's such a sweetheart but she's kind of shy again like s1 piper is really my jumping off point for mellie that and she has leo's big heart That Being Said i do not think that shows At All when she's home i think she drags her brothers for filth like nail on the head baby she's like. if you're being a dick (which, between chris and wyatt, happens relatively frequently) she's gonna call you out on it!! in a very brutal and personalized, but at the same time still kinda funny way. she definitely has receipts. so i think just first hearing the way chris and bianca engage the way she like. like she respects chris's skills as a witch bianca does she thinks he's very talented she would trust him with her life but at the same time chris u fuckin idiot i think they have a very playful raport but bianca is very starstruck by him she's never lost in the layer and layers or fog that surround chris's identity i think like too many of chris's lis (not that he like ever does relationships really) are just kinda like. lost in the image. whether it's charmed one or brooding skinny brunet w daddy issues they are many images of chris u can see instead of the real one but bianca sees chris as he is which i think gives her immediate points from melinda melinda is also an empath and i do think bianca is protected against empaths but like melinda's like oh you two are In Love in love. as far as personal relationships go between melinda and bianca i think melinda would be the one who most consciously tries to make bianca feel like a part of the family like a halliwell. chris, respectfully, i love him, doesn't think of like. inviting her to some family events, especially not early in the relationship because like. he just doesn't. but melinda's like chris!! thanksgiving u gotta invite her 2 thanksgiving. because again. melinda can't feel bianca. but like. she's been an empath her whole life she knows what she's looking at and like. bianca needs a loving family. and she is totally willing to provide that!! and then for what it's worth i think despite all her skill bianca isn't nearly as good at reading mel as melinda is at reading her. like i think she sees the soft external melinda and then the melinda who roasts her siblings and is like okay i kinda get it. and like melinda want to be a nurse or doctor she wants to fuse her empath with a mortal career to best help people like sure. but i think like. but them on a solo mission together (i guess duo mission) and bianca'll fine she's just really misread melinda like in general what she thought she was looking at is not the witch melinda is and i think it's just because bianca's unaccustomed to seeing someone who has power like melinda who can fight like melinda who undeniably has her mother's unbreakable fierce spirit just be like how melinda is in her day to day life. like someone who's that great at what she does just choose kindness and gentleness daily not because the elders are breathing down her neck or like she needs allies or like she has some epic prophecy to fill she just like. chooses kindness because she wants to. she wants a kind world. and bianca's like huh. bc lowkey forgot that was an option. but it's difficult seeing all the shit bianca has.

in regards to henry i think henry jr and bianca get along famously because they just like feel really similar like. like bianca was never liked in the phoenix because well a) she's a bitch b) she's the best and c) like she was always clearly people favorite so like. others were it was jealously call a spade a spade this is like elementary era it's jealousy when you're eight and trying your hardest and the other eight year old gets praise the praise u really want and she didn't even try she didn't even care she didn't have to because she's just so much better than you. like!! yeah so kids at school never liked her, esp within the phoenix (ftr i think phoenix go thru a normal education system so like can like function/blend in real well in normal society and then Also go to phoenix academy, so kinda like what gen2 does with magic school). bianca's never fit it, but she's also wicked smart. so kinda like henry! like paige kind of runs magic school henry's sisters go there like henry's been at magic school. he doesn't take classes, but he's always there. he burns through the books in the library. he knows everyone just calls him the mortal, he doesn't care, because he also knows they know he's smart than them like if they could swallow their pride and ask him for help like most of these kids would become better witches but they don't because henry's a mortal. bianca doesn't care, the kid knows his shit. so what if he doesn't have powers, like, dude, he's basically a walking encyclopedia, and he's read the book of shadows cover to cover like a dozen times, do you know how rare that knowledge is? that's the sacred book of the warren line like that's a crucial ancestral item and henry's like. like in bianca's mind not only is henry a warren witch like he's Thee warren witch no other person alive knows that magic better than him. i also think they have similar senses of humor.

dency!! i mean i think if dency were born any later she'd be besties with like all the phoenix i think magic isn't at a stage where they're really integrated into society yet and there's still kind of that cultish structure but that's not the reason light magic doesn't engage right they don't deal with the phoenix because they're neutral so they will work with demons meaning working with them as a light magic practitioner is forbidden. and then for what its worth i think dency being demon/charmed one is really gonna herald in an era of just kinda like acceptance for those who are neutral or even born of dark magic but like. that hasn't happened. yet. but like. in regards to bianca specifically. i think they'd vibe. i think bianca would throw up her cooler than u bitch personality as she always does and i think dency'd be so into it. and then, of course, dency doesn't look down her nose at the phoenix like most other witches do, again, because she's the source's heir. from what vantage point can she judge others? i think for bianca just seeing someone who's so kinda unabashedly themselves like honest about it too dency's not like. a role model. like there's penn who's really put together and always trying to seem pristine and polite and then they're dency who like hasn't showered in four days because she's out of shampoo so she needs to buy some Then she can shower. there's like. an honest about being kinda uncool kinda a fuck up that makes dency like. cool. like because we all do it (maybe not specifically the shampoo thing, but) like we all have some elements of ourselves that are just kind of truly pathetic and dency doesn't try to cover it up with some shiny veneer she doesn't she not like wyatt with his perfect mask or even bianca with her bitch one dency doesn't wear a mask take me or leave me baby and i think bianca really loves her for that. it genuinely depends on were in the timeline in chrisbianca does bianca meet dency because like. dude. powercouple. i don't think it'd go anywhere i don't think we're necessarily hitting soulmatism or kinda the raw vulnerability we'll get from a latestage chrisbianca but like. dude. like. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀. like. !

[shikakunaras]

Iruka, hayate, aoba, and kotetsu for the ask

Under the cut bc it's a long post.

Iruka

First Impression: He got on my nerves until the Mizuki and then I loved him

Impression Now: Every so often he annoys me but I don't hate him.

Favorite Moment: When he saved Naruto's life.

Idea for a Story: Iruka gets to adopt Naruto and they live in a happy household.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't think he and Kakashi would be anymore than acquaintances and they probably hate each other bc of how they each teach Naruto. But they both hate J******

Favorite Relationship: Iruka and Naruto like a brother bond. I wish there was more of that esp in Boruto but.

Favorite HC: Iruka cried when Naruto became Hokage and he was there for Boruto and Himawari's birth as an honorary Uncle.

Hayate

First Impression: Holy shit someone get this dude a doctor.

Impression Now: HOLY SHOT SOMEONE GIVE THIS DUDE A DOCTOR ;w;

Favorite Moment: When he was resurrected and he got to say goodbye to Yūgao

Idea for a Story: He doesn't die and he lives happily ever after (most of my ideas are fix its and happy endings)

Unpopular Opinion: He should've been shown more pre death bc his sword skills are solid as fuck.

Favorite Relationship: Hayate and all the Tokubetsu Jonin as like a family. Yūgao/Hayate as romantic.

Favorite HC: He gets pegged. :)

Aoba

First Impression: Cool Glasses dude who isn't a pervert

Impression Now: YO his jutsu is cool as hell

Favorite Moment: When he saved Shikamaru's life during the first Hidan fight. And the Gai Kakashi ship filler ep.

Idea for a Story: I can't really think of one just with him.

Unpopular Opinion: Is there an unpopular opinion with Aoba?

Favorite Relationship: The Tokubetsu jonin family.

Favorite HC: I don't have on I'M SORRY ;w;

Kotetsu

First Impression: What the fuck is that bandage for why do you sound so sick???

Impression Now: I'm so sorry I misjudged you I should be ashamed.

Favorite Moment: When he was holding hands with Izumo and Tsunade walked in.

Idea for a Story: He gets to have a nice day off to hang out with his boyfriend :) Like a Tokubestu day at the beach or something.

Unpopular Opinion: He is one of the best. Better than Genma. oop

Favorite Relationship: Izumo/Kotetsu. The Gays.

Favorite HC: He loves Izumo so much but Izumo was the one that said 'fuck it will you marry me'. Kotetsu also cried.

[busybby]

Hey I’m gonna start at community college, would u have any tips for starting college in general? I come from being homeschooled in high school

hello! i’m gonna be real w you so some of these may be commonly said and others not so much but they’re truly just what i’ve discovered in my experience! also every school/person is different so ultimately the biggest thing is being open and willing to try things and then looking inside yourself to see if it’s truly serving you! if you can do that everything else will fall into place. other things tho!

eat what you want but be conscious of it! i’m not trying to say go vegan or only eat junk food, just notice how your body feels in response to food! i don’t think we realize how significantly what we eat impacts us. until about 2 months ago i’d been having horrible stomach aches for 2 ish years. this semester i cut out all dairy to see if that would help except for cheese (it’s my fav food and the pain is worth it for me lol) and i have only had 3 major stomach aches since! what you eat really impacts your energy so be willing to eat what makes you feel good but don’t be afraid to be flexible and still eat what u love! (drinking water goes w this!)

listen to music, podcasts, watch movies and tv! for a long time i didn’t think i had time for these while at the same time i was feeling so lonely. they can be great ways to feel less alone and let your mind rest.

have some go to outfits for different occasions (exams, spending a day in the library, etc.)

read for fun! i know it’s hard since you probably have tons of school reading anyways, but it has really become an amazing act of self care for me and i’ve read more books for my self this year than i have since middle school! audiobooks are great too and you can access them and ebooks for free using the app overdrive if u connect it to ur library

it’s never too late to try new things. i spent a lot of last year just adjusting to college life and now i’m finally ready to find my community. this semester i’ve joined 2 new clubs and 1 academic ish program

that being said, finding community is important imo but don’t rush it. it may take a while but that’s okay!

take classes that genuinely interest and excite you! this is the best way to stay engaged in courses and will help you stay up to date with your coursework. also pick your major this way (imo).

breaks from school work and from people are so important

keep an eye out for mentors!

just talk to people! there have been a few people this semester who i’ve wanted to befriend but i felt awkward because it didn’t feel as easy. during orientation/your first sem everyone is clearly looking and open to finding friends but as your time in school goes on it feels less and less like that. my roommate told me this isn’t the case tho and she’s so right! no one gets 7 friends and says okay i’ve reached the quota! no more friends for me! people are always looking for more friends. (compliments and questions are a good way to go about this)

college can be so lonely bc for a lot of people it’s their first time being really independent and far from their regular support system (it was for me). instead of seeing this as a negative, try to reframe it positively. this is an opportunity to learn what you like in classes, in a roommate/living space, in friends, in your spare time. you are not here for anyone else, you’re here for you!

i know it’s not always easy at all, esp due to mental health stuff, but even trying to reframe things in a positive way can be so helpful. i went thru a rough patch at the beginning of this semester, one of the symptoms being that i had zero motivation. slowly i’ve been working to get myself out of this state, and one thing i’ve been doing is repeating mantras/affirmations about how i love and value learning (which i truly do) and just reminding myself how much i used to love learning.

having less stuff can be nice bc the clutter won’t weigh on your mind, especially if you’re already living in a small space

self care is a lot more than just a face mask and it does not have to cost money. it may mean deciding to go to therapy, schedule a doctors appointment, set a boundary, go on a walk, cook yourself dinner, open up to a friend, etc.

journaling in particular has been so important for me. i love reflecting and being able to look back on things. it’s a great way to get everything off your mind in a positive, constructive way and learn about yourself and the world/people around you!

pls let me know if you have any more questions or wanna talk about literally anything!! i love connecting with people 💖 i hope this resonates w you in some way!! xoxo annie

[theskyexists]

Fugitive of the Judoon (spoilers)

What. what was that.

What.

I really felt like the Doctor here. Hit with the reminder that Gallifrey is still dead (what the fuck - still) then hit by Jack (what the fuck), then hit by another Doctor (WHAT THE FUCK). when she’s like walking around the city just absolutely SHOOK - same bro

I mean I’d figured that Gat was a Time Lord (OR actually, the Doctor specifically says ‘Gallifreyan’ instead of Time Lord) the moment she called Lee a ‘companion’. Figured that Ruth was a Time Lord the moment she got a weird vision and started rattling off life facts. Figured for absolutely sure she was the Doctor the moment she showed up in that orange shirt lol

Chibnall went: FUCK YOU to every single whining fan who complained about a female Doctor. LOL

At the start I was like nice - we got a focus on an older black woman! I could never have imagined this. That is to say: did RTD know this for his book version of ‘Rose’ or was that a prophecy?

So many people got vaporised in quick succession in this jfc. Chibs was like - ok no longer necessary for the plot or anything - u ded. (and those guns can’t be regenerated from it seems - which says something about Gallifreyans using em)

Ok wow. I feel disoriented and not entirely in a good way but that’s because Chibnall lost my trust a long time ago and also the pacing was weird and they should REALLY have edited the bit with Jack down - esp when he’s trying to tell them something important and he says ‘ tell her this’ three times but still gets cut off lol (I guess RTD okay’d Jack’s return?)

honestly it was a good excuse to remove the companions I spose but it had nothing to do with the episode and so it didn’t fully land, did Jack a bit of disservice - but it did let us have jokes about - ah Doctor! not the Doctor? Ah..you the Doctor? NO??

THAT KISS THOUGH!!! I LOVE IT.

Also - are they going to explain why Jack clearly looks a lot older than before or...was that the nanogenes? Because at first it seemed like that was the anti-theft system but then Jack said ‘always’. John Barrowman did a great job but I feel like the innuendo was possibly overwritten?

The way the Doctor just let Lee be ‘arrested’ and left with Ruth was super weird bc why would she leave him if she thought he was the fugitive....she’s so bendable. Let’s say, she’s a pushover a lot of the time - because the plot needs her to be - and that is still a problem.

Sad we didn’t get to see Thirteen speak Judoon.

The companions and Doctor sure had a nice talk - and her messing with the controls for ages to find the Master - how long you been sat there? 20 mins. and the Doctor’s denial - HA - and leaving em to explore while she disappears to go back to Gallifrey and just LOOK at the devastation WOW. THE FUCKIN ANGST MATES. He did good there. I still can’t - I mean the acting made it. I don’t think the dialogue is particularly inspired but they made it. And they’re ‘family’ because they’re dedicated - not because there’s that good ol love. It’s a choice, not organic so to speak. But I thought he wrapped things up according to their canon dynamics - that is to say - she gets depressed and then they lift her out of it by forming a front and barraging her with hope and faith.

Anyway.

So I think the implication is multiverse. After all.

And there are SO many hints about - hm. Uh. It being a commentary on both an Imperialist Gallifrey and the historical dynamics between the Doctor and companions. It really is becoming clear to me that Chibnall is committing to this - this subversion of ‘normal classic’ dynamics.

1. The Doctor Ruth (for some reason not realising that this woman with her is also a Time Lord and/or a very suspiciously knowledgeable person???) actually treats the Doctor like a companion - and it is PATRONISING. It’s explicitly deeply patronising - and it’s explicitly a Doctor-Companion dynamic. She even does the hand-grab. Something we’ve not seen Thirteen do at all (which I have bitterly complained about). Then she’s telling her to shut up and refusing to share anything. (having them both be women was brilliant because it only made the wrongness of it stand out more - because it’s so unexpected). Actually the whole episode had a super interesting red thread of the Doctor not opening up to her companions and then being truth-blocked the whole episode - it turns out BY HERSELF lolllll. anyway that also feeds back into it.

2. Gat is like Lee - she’s had the same training - and it’s military training. She’s not a Time Lord, she’s a Gallifreyan. They’re Gallifreyan. Lee is a ‘companion’, Gat is implied to have been the same. He gives up his very life for the Doctor Ruth, she’s the most important thing to him. - the Doctor Ruth does not speak of him again - shows very little grief. The emotional devotion inherent to normal/classic Doctor-Companion bond is militarised and it seems - institutionalised....and it’s not a good thing AT ALL - like class hierarchies and servitude. This is CLEARLY contrasted with Thirteen and her fam mending their relationship through honesty and faith and THEM lifting HER up - BY REJECTING explicitly that she’s so much older/more powerful/superior.

3. The Doctor Ruth was a soldier. She carries a gun. Her TARDIS looks much closer to the original standard version. She has a GUN, even if she mostly threatens and does deadly tricks with it - she expresses pure disdain for the sonic - the thing that the Doctor uses to learn things and open and fix things with... She’s a twisted mirror image - but she also apparently knows that ‘the Doctor’ does not use guns - and she ran from Gallifrey.

4. Gat serves the ‘glory’ of a shadowy empire of Gallifrey.

I absolutely loved the Doctor going fuck u to the Doctor Ruth (Jodie plays that so perfectly lol) and talking anyway and then speeching about the ash and bones of Gallifrey. Great stuff. And honestly I loved them syncing and some good old ragging on each other’s style choices. Are we going to get some payoff on this weird no gun policy....?

What I found super weird though is the Doctor doing that annoying thing where the script makes her state the obvious and then the Doctor Ruth ACTUALLY COMMENTS ON IT? That she’s being fucking dumb. I don’t know how to take that. I find a choice like that from a writer annoying! But now it’s acknowledged as a character trait! What. But it fits right into Doctor-Companion commentary - i.e. earlier Doctors being callously snarky to companions.

I’m just a bit iffy about the Doctor just letting this go????? Why not REALLY interrogate this random version of yourself???? Once again plot frustrates logic and character.

Middle of the series and we get this. Chibs went from ‘no arc’ to ‘ARC CONSTANTLY’. I don’t mind it - but i do find it disorienting.

I LOVED ALL THE JUDOON RHYMING. also i loved the WHOLE confrontation between the Doctor and the Judoon it was INCREDIBLE.

[spaceymcspaceship]

day 16

twice upon a time

circa 1986

listen this one was hard to place because the action is evenly split among 1914, the future, and the setting of that OG ep where doc #1 regenerates 

on the tardis data core wiki the setting was listed as 1986 and it took me some searching to figure out where they got that from bc it’s never said in the ep

oh well it seems to fit here

the first regeneration in this rewatch order though!!

i truly love most things about this episode

i really actually like 12 having to be like stop talking every time OG doc is being sexist esp bc i really like the self awareness in the face of some things even nuwho docs have said

bill!!! god i’m so glad she got this coda 

you can’t die you don’t have the concentration or whatever she says lol

and i mean just starting from the armistice all the way to the end i’m crying!!

capaldi just fucking killed it 

his advice leads so clearly into 13 and those two r currently my favorites docs 

and just the doctor is so tired and doesn’t want to live another life but he gives in and does and his reward

is getting to be jodie fuckign whittaker 

hopeful and energetic and getting yeeted out of the tardis

gonna go have a good cry now

father’s day

circa 1987

well now i’m still crying

god i love rose so much

like yes she messes up but it’s so understandable and she’s so understandable and just god

and just again with the ordinary

with the doc being like i’ve never had a life like that of course i’ll try and save you

i’m just gonna keep crying now!!

listen

circa mid-1990s

and also 2014 and also the far future and also gallifrey in some year

this is one of those that didn’t make sense anywhere really

like it could’ve been in just the normal 12 present era but he’s got a lot so i put it here

this ep is all over the place but just

FEAR IS A SUPERPOWER

ugh i love it so much

also i agree with others the doc crying under the covers afraid hits differently now 

also i’d never noticed clara’s heels until now goddamn clara

the eleventh hour

circa 1996

okay so technically i think most of this takes place in 2008? i stuck it here to distribute 11 eps a much as possible but i think it would work nicely in 2008 anyway bc then it’d break up a long 10 stretch

whatever first 11 ep!

young amy is precious

again smith killing it even though he is also so baby

lots of small parallels to 13′s intro ep so it’s time to go fishing in the tags after this

olivia colman!!! yeah she definitely could’ve been used better U HAVE NOW ACADEMY AWARD WINNER OLIVIA COLMAN

rory is also precious in this ep he’s just like...why...what...who....

so in the timeless children i knew the flashing of past docs and adventures was something that had been done before

but this ep was the second TODAY to do that 

so yeah that’s definitely now a dw trademark

okay one more 11 ep and then we’re to present day eps by doctor!!!

[scullyeffect]

sorry this is so long but i need to Go Off

you know what i’m mad at anyone who thinks being a nanny isn’t a real job because bitch i work ~35hr work weeks (factoring in one babysitting job on a weekend which isn’t every week but definitely twice a month) during which i can’t really take my eyes off two kids (two families i’ve worked for had 3), we use very busy public transport daily, i have to cook for two (i like cooking and know how to do it but i never use pre-made stuff or frozen stuff other than rice or pasta, also for the family i currently work for i make my own shopping list for what i’ll need for their kids, do the grocery shopping, and get reimbursed later) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY because i’m not the actual parent i can’t discipline in the same way!!! @ parents out there: would you want your kids to say “our nanny is mean she yells at us and never plays with us and doesn’t give us a snack after school!” or “our nanny is nice and plays with us and dinner is really good and we love her”. like be honest you’re not always angels with your kids, and that’s relatively normal (i rationalize) because you’ve got another full-time job and taking care of kids is a lot, sometimes you might just be like “SHUT UP AND PLAY BY YOURSELVES”, which i really can’t do without being labelled as mean.

if there’s a teacher strike (there’s one off and on right now because this is france and everyone is striking but most importantly the bulk of the public transport we normally take, so either we’ve got to walk a couple kms or take the one bus that MIGHT be running to a stop that’s still 20 minutes from home) also i’m often the one who’s dumped with the kids when they’re sick. “can you come over? kid 1 is sick!” so that means i’m basically on full alert because that could mean a) going straight over to their house and taking care of kid 1 and having to take kid 1 on busy public transport to pick up kid 2 and take public transport back, b) picking up kid 1 from school early and repeating above, c) taking kid 1 to the doctor whose office may be across town (one time i took a vomiting kid with a fever of 102 to the hospital as per the mom’s request TAKING PUBLIC TRANSPORT FOR AN HOUR BC THERE’S NO CAR...let’s just say we brought a bowl with us and it wasn’t pretty)

oh! how could i forget school vacation! IN FRANCE (no idea about other countries) full time workers ( 35 hours a week, no paid overtime allowed) are given 5 weeks of vacation, plus a dozen public holidays. school vacations during the year amount to ~6 weeks! if you don’t have grandparents who’ll take the kids for a couple weeks every two months, or some kind of other childcare you’re using (but why would you, you have a nanny!), guess who’s not either paid vacation OR full vacation! (often parents i’ve worked for will take one week off each school holiday, leaving me to do the other week (with pay, but not extra!! same 80-100 euros!), OR send their kids to their grandparents’ houses for the two weeks and not pay me)

also never having a consistent schedule because the parents might have something to do (long commute that’s time-dependant because of traffic, a meeting, the mom i work for now has a boxing class on tuesdays). my friends tend to have normal 9-6 jobs, so they’re often asking if i want to do something after work and i’m like “yeah i get off anywhere between 8:30-10:30 and after that all i want to do is go home and chill). also the parents i work for are separated and one lives an hour from the school and the other lives at a walkable distance (2km) (both are 5th floor walk-ups)

i get paid 80 euros ($89 USD) a week

regarding above: i LOVE kids, i love my job even though sometimes it’s emotionally a little difficult (whereas my other jobs have been like...physically difficult like being on my feet all day and cooking) and stressful, i love cooking, i like playing games, i’m pretty entertaining, and i enjoy cooking. so in all honesty i picked a GOOD JOB, but i get a lot of side-eye for saying i work as a nanny because people (esp my age) don’t think of it as a Real Job.

try doing this job if you don’t enjoy the bulk of what i said above. i hear so many people saying “i hate kids” point blank, then complain about their job with regular hours you can plan your life around

also @ parents: i’ve worked for great families who were respectful of my time, etc, but even they sometimes took advantage of the fact that i didn’t have a “day job” and would stick me with their sick kids, or asked me to do things that didn’t at all fall under my job descriptions (go pick up the kids’ new textbooks, they need gloves can you buy some under 10 euros on the way back from school i’ll pay you back later, the electricity guy is coming at 3pm can you let him in and lock up after, can you pick up the stuff from the dry cleaner’s, i have to go to work early can i drop the kids with you at 7:30 and you take them to school instead, for one family i had to clean the kids’ rooms and the kitchen, for another i had to walk their dog)

parenting isn’t easy but in my opinion nannying your kids, as wonderful as you think they are, isn’t easy either, ESP when you’re trying to maintain the “nice, helpful, TRUSTWORTHY, good nanny/employee” vibe. also, the highest salary i’ve gotten paid for this job was 100 euros a week, they provided a transport pass (other jobs i’ve shelled out 22 euros a week for transport with no reimbursement) and a paid phone bill (here in france adding me to their plan was 2 euros a month). to be fair, i did get to live with the family (but that isn’t always easy either! and probably not always easy for the parents either, sort of unconsciously like having another kid, an extra person to cook for if they’re cooking that night, making space in their home, etc!). and this time they pay for a little apartment which is amazing of them (it’s 15m carrées / 160 square feet)

i grew up with a single mother who didn’t get paid child support and rarely even had a babysitter, so i really don’t know how other kids with married or divorced parents grew up in the US. i know being a single mother for my mom was extremely hard (she’s very vocal about reminding me of this every time i complain about my job tbh). now i technically work for two single parents. but wow...not all single parents/divorced parents can afford what basically amounts to a second parent. that’s what i feel like and have felt for all of my nannying jobs. a second/third parent. truly. 

so parents...if your kids are telling you their nanny is wonderful, and you think she’s great too, keep in mind that that wonderfulness is the result of a LOT of hard work that you don’t see, and that if you’re relying on her for any or all of the stuff i’ve listed above, hiring a nanny is basically hiring a second/third parent. think about that when hiring someone. 

when you hire a nanny who works ~30 hours a week for you, you are hiring a second/third parent. that’s what this job is. you wouldn’t just trust anyone with your kids. if your co-parent is doing a great job, THINK ABOUT MAYBE PAYING HER A LITTLE MORE AT CHRISTMAS OR SOMETHING.

[habibialkaysani]

okay so. a lot has been going on lately and I haven't had much time to be on here or time in general. now that the week is over tho things are starting to die down hopefully. and like I do with work emails I'm gonna just write a list, of all the things that have been going on, because I feel like my brain is about to explode otherwise.

lots of rambling, potentially triggering stuff under the cut:

1) pain. so much pain. I thought I'd moved past this endo thing, or at least that the pain was contained because of the meds the gyno gave me plus the progesterone that was definitely easing the pain for a bit during the month. but the ones my gyno gave me, they can only be taken during my period and mine isn't starting. so I've been in agony, like in so much pain, and the only relief has been a hot water bottle and codeine. and I don't want to take more days off when I've already taken sick days this year - which is not like me, at all. but potentially that might not be an issue for a while if I end up having to work from home. and in terms of addressing the root cause of the problem, that's unlikely, because the mri I had of my pelvis came back normal. no indications of endometriosis which I expected because this shit doesn't show on ultrasounds or mris. I do think there might be a chance it shows on a transvaginal ultrasound but they outright refuse to do that which really fucking pisses me off bc it's on the basis of me never being laid before which as I've mentioned is ridiculous.

2) speaking of. this motherfucking coronavirus is doing my head in. seriously i had to order hand sanitiser for the office and it still hasn't arrived. I did manage to get a few masks but god those were expensive. and just generally it's all anyone will talk about at work which is driving me nuts. and what makes it worse is that I'm going out of my mind thinking about speedy and if she gets it, because she's got a heart condition and her immune system isn't very strong even for regular flu. this shit will hit her hard and I'm terrified of that esp after hearing boris fucking johnson saying in his speech that people are going to lose loved ones. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her. actually I have an idea and it would not be good. I spoke to my brother who is a healthcare professional and he said that it's best to get in touch with the cardiology team that look after speedy to see if we can do anything preventative or get her tested.

3) in better news, my brother just announced to our family that he's getting married. already its causing arguments and his fiancee comes from a more well off family (the bar is low tho admittedly) so we're all gonna be scrambling to get our tiny house somewhat in shape for when my bro's future in laws visit in a couple weeks. but it's still good news I think because my bro is smitten and that's just nice to see. his fiancee makes him happy and that's something I'm really glad he found. they want a small wedding too so hopefully we'll have like 200 guests max, which would be sacrilege in any desi household lol.

4) I've been looking for a new job for a while now. things at work have been tough, ever since my old manager gave in her notice. I don't mind my current manager all that much, but she's in hr, and she's clearly never managed anyone before because she is nowhere near as good a support system as my old manager. I could go to my old manager and complain about something and she'd listen, and she actively made an effort to monitor my workload. this new one, she just doesn't put the same effort in and she also just doesn't understand the role I'm in either. she seems to think the job I do is easy and straightforward when it is neither, on the basis that she thinks admin is something anyone could do, and she does nothing to try and ease things when my workload gets heavy. plus my managers manager who is also in hr is just really not nice. she enjoys a power trip way too much. that and the fat cats that are our clients - well suffice it to say I think my time here is up. so I've been looking and I found a nonprofit that was hiring. I did my first interview with them and it went surprisingly well. and now I've got my second one next friday. I really hope that goes well too and that I get the job, just so I can see the look on my managers managers face when I give in my notice 😂 and this new job if I get it would be five fewer hours and I think that could do wonders for my wellbeing. and my sanity.

5) writing. I've done none of it. it's a problem. I don't know what to do to make my mojo come back because I write the best when I'm alone, and I'm never on my own nowadays unless I'm in bed in pain, in which case writing is the last thing I feel like doing. but I also really want to write. so badly. I feel like I'm emotionally more stable when I'm writing. I'm happier. and I just do not have that right now which is not fun.

6) reading - now this is something I have done. my dear friend reen recommended a series of books called reluctant royals, by alyssa cole, and omg. they are so good. I powered through three big novels and two novellas. like I devoured them. and I'm being reminded of how much I love books. good ones. they made me laugh a lot and I'm really glad my friend recommended them.

7) speaking of devouring. a few weeks ago I found on several occasions that people were offering their seats to me on public transport, presumably because they thought I was pregnant. it was this combined with my doctor admitting my bmi wasn't normal (tho only when I asked if this might be causing the pain) that made me realise that I needed to lose weight drastically, and to eat better and walk more. so I've been eating more veggies and salad. trying to put more greens on my plate. not have fast food as often. in all honesty I'm not sure how much of a difference its actually made, but I do know that I feel a little better having done so over the last few weeks. my brother also said I looked like I had lost weight. I've also noticed it a little in my tummy going in a bit too. but I also know that this is a rabbit hole I don't want to go down too far. I worry I might have already with the weighing which I've been doing far too often now that there's scales at work (for weighing big packages). I don't want this to spiral out of control. but I think I've done okay so far, minus the weighing thing - I've always eaten when I've felt hungry so it's not like I'm starving myself. and so far I've only lost about 3kg. which I feel is significant but also nowhere near enough when it comes to the nhs bmi calculator.

8) my little brother has been acting up for months now, and tbh it's starting to give me anxiety. my mother found weed in his room and he's just been rebelling in what I see as normal teenage ways like smoking and staying out late, but it's also affecting his school and I'm worried he won't leave with decent a levels bc he already failed once. and his school keeps emailing my dad about him supposedly being absent, and my dad's response to this for about two months now has been to post a screenshot of each email into the family group chat and demand where my bro has been. it doesn't help. and I don't need to be notified every time he skips school or whatever like that is not my fucking problem to have to see when I'm at work and have enough stresses as it is. my dad is an idiot and honestly some days I would dearly love to punch the man in the face.

9) I start my group therapy in a couple weeks. it’s for generalised anxiety and I am really, really hoping it will help me because the other group therapy I’ve done previously, like a couple months back, has proven to be really helpful. here’s hoping.

10) if anyone is still reading this far - I realise this sounds a lot like I'm feeling sorry for myself. maybe I am to some degree. but my life is just a lot right now and I'm genuinely a bit shocked I'm still in one piece and that I haven't had a nervous breakdown yet. everything is a lot and I feel like I'm going through a lot of change. that's hard. but I'm trying my best to get through this and I hope somehow I can. I actually left tumblr for a bit because for various reasons I didn’t feel as safe talking about my problems on here, through no fault but my own really. I’m hoping I’ve moved past that now.

[winterfalconx]

Tag Game

Thanks for tagging me @madsteacup​!! <3

20 random FACTS about yourself that may surprise people.

1. do you make your bed? Only when people are coming over 😅

2. what’s your favourite number? 3 bc most things are nicer with the rule of thirds

3. what’s your job? I'm a Med student...so technically unemployed :’) But I’d like to be specialist physician for women’s health some day!

4. if you could, would you go back to school? As much as I miss the highschool experience and seeing my friends everyday, I don’t think I would! I’ve grown so much as a person and like who I am right now :)

5. can you parallel park? Not very well haha, but I’m still on a learner’s permit.

6. a job you had which would surprise people? Like I said...unemployed loll but I did volunteer quite a lot! Once at the World Science Festival here in Brisbane, and we were given free passes to see turtles hatching!!

7. do you think aliens are real? I really want to!! There has to be more out there, right? 

8. can you drive a manual car? Mate I can’t even drive an automatic HAHA. (I can drive fine but get bad anxiety bc of other cars, esp living in the hectic city area!)

9. what’s your guilty pleasure? Lighting candles alll the time even tho they’re pretty bad for your health (parrafin wax). Eating too much dessert. Treating myself with retail therapy wayy too much. Going back to hannigram after i’m done with a new hyperfixation <33

10. tattoos? Want a small one but its frowned upon in the healthcare industry :/ also scared of pain lol 

11. favourite colour? I love warm tones!! Reds and pinks are my fave <3

12. things people do that drive you crazy? Being unwilling to learn/change. Slow walkers. Being always late. SMOKING. standing up as soon as the plane lands. 

13. any phobias? Death? And definitely roaches ewww 

14. favourite childhood sport? Didn’t really play much but I liked dodgeball and badminton

15. do you talk to yourself? Almost all the time! 

16. what movie do you adore? Into the Spiderverse comes to mind! So unique and positive

17. do you like doing puzzles? Yes! I have a sudoku app on my phone like the nerd i am.

18. favourite kind of music? Troye Sivan and Halsey are my favourite artists <3 my taste is pretty mainstream, and i’m open to most music!! But i lean towards nice soft songs with strong focus on vocals/lyrics!

19. tea or coffee? I love both! I drink a cup of green tea every day hahaha, and save coffee for a treat or pick-me-up ^_^

20. the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? In pre-school I drew myself as a firefighter. We need those now more than ever here in Australia. Hope I’ll still be able to make a difference as a doctor someday!!

I’m gonna tag @foyernormanchapel​ , @caps-bucky, @sofancydancy, @princesschiyoh and @royedsasoei! no pressure, and open to anyone who wants to!

[happyhippystuff]

It’s a slow morning in the clinic. Patients are streaming in and out but no eligible candidates. It is 9.48 am and I have approached nine patients with zero eligible ones.

Being at the clinic has been interesting, I get to meet all kinds of people and thankfully, most of them are pleasant. On some days, I meet people who are here for an abortion, or for miscarriages but all I can do is extend a smile and “take care, I hope you feel better soon”. I wish there was more that I could do but I also accept that there is just this much that I can do. Sometimes, I wish God gave me the passion and brains to be a doctor. also, being at the clinic makes me realised that I really like the clinic setting (!!!) and I really really really want to be a cp

That said, NGL that recruitment is draining the introvert in me. I have had 20 recruitments thus far, and I am !!!! Quite pleased with myself !!!! But I am so drained and done with human interaction. When I woke up this morning, the thought of another day of recruitment makes me want to cry and puke. Yes, I’m melodramatic like this. I don’t think people understand how people can drain me so so much bc you are so good with people - I used to be so triggered when others said that to me bc I felt like it contradicted what I thought I was (an introvert), but now, I m not gna deny that bc I do think I am not too bad with people but it just tires me incredibly ;_;

Also, seeing pregnant women almost everyday got me thinking a lot about pregnancy. I used to be so keen on having kids, maybe more of, the idea of kids. But I guess I never gave much thought to the process of it. I don’t know if I can handle the process - the routine clinic checks, the inconvenience, the scans and tests and WAITING and honestly, what fears me the most is changes to my body - I don’t even like it that much, I don’t know if I would like having a bulging tummy and the extra weight pounded on me - what if the weight never goes off just like all my weight gain 😂 Also, the first thing mums have to do when they enter the clinic is to take their height and weight ! that alone can alr cause so much ! Anxiety ! It reminds me of clinic days where ! They would watch my weight like a hawk and threaten me !!!!!! It is extremely heartening though, when I see husbands being very very very nice to their pregnant wives esp if it’s the first HAHA it’s like an entitlement that you get once in your life, plus !!!! I absolutely ADORE (cute) kids. But okay, I can think about this when it is actually closer to date HAHA maybe that day I will read and laugh at the 25 y/o me🤪

I am so so tired today and it is making me feel highly irritable and moOoOdy, which isn’t pleasant. I am really so tired today, note to self: don’t do dumb things like setting an alarm at 5:50am to work out only to fall asleep on your sofa.